#ANYWAY this will NOT be in chapter 23. but i couldn't NOT share it so VOILA

[safyresky]

Okay so I'm reading through CSC23 to post Weds or Thurs, and I just need to get an innuendo out of my system RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY so here you all go, sorry not sorry 😘

"Wait, she grabbed some apples?"

"A couple, yes dear. Why?"

Blaise frowned, his forehead wrinkling. "Is that why this bowl is nowhere near filled? I saw that, Jack."

Jack shoved the slice of apple in his mouth, feigning innocence and looking away.

"Oh, Blaise. The bag Autumn gave us is rather large. I'm sure it'll be fine. Besides, I can always drop her a leaf and get us some more, if need be."

"We may have to. Between Jacqueline taking some and Jack stealing the slices," Blaise said, glaring right at Jack as his hand hovered over the bowl, "I'm not going to have enough for the filling!"

"One or two apples less won't make a difference."

"You don't know that! Are you an expert in Autumn's pies?"

"Only in eating them," Winter confirmed, chipper. "Besides! Everyone knows it's how you season the filling, not how many apples you have."

"So what you're saying is it's not size that matters but how you use it."

Jack choked on the apple slice he had just pilfered. Blaise smirked, happy to have satisfied his "embarrass the son" quota for the day. Winter looked between the pair of them, idly peeling the apple in her hand in a manner that was both helpful and conniving. She smirked.

"Not that either of those things are a worry for you, Blaise darling."

Both men wheezed. Blaise in laughter; Jack in embarrassment. Winter grinned, continuing on with her pie-related duties, delighted to have struck the killing blow in today's battle of wits.

[ladysomething]

hii ladyy! i know you just gave us two snippets but ive been wondering about overprotective max and future charles being actually receptive to his overprotectiveness in a dangerous situation (it's the subtle things for me like maybe he burrows his head in his chest when max holds him tight) and i just- i would love a future snippet pleasee 😭😭 or maybe of max losing his mind when he finds out smth happens to charles hahahah. if you're hesitant about sharing one from the next chapter (if there even is an appearance of this kind of max and charles already tho i doubt it) maybe one from the future?

If you're not willing to share a snippet... could you tell us how soon this is happening? maybe it's because im so hardwired to seek chaos, i'm absolutely loving these slow paced chapters they're so comforting and i love to read them all smiley and tucked into the comfort of my bed right before i fall asleep but lowkey. I crave the angst as well Lol

I think you might have sent this ask before ch 23 came out, but Tumblr censored you and I couldn't see it in my inbox!

anyway, I think there was a bit of protective Max and Charles kind of leaning into it in ch 23.

there's a bit of subtle protectiveness throughout the rest of the fic, but balanced with Charles being just as protective of Max. it's equality!!

but ... there is one moment coming up that is Very Dramatic, with Hardcore Protective Max to the extreme. I think you'll like it anon. currently I estimate that it will be over two chapters, likely ch 29/30.

[the-fabulous-51]

im curious how you envision lightning ending up in radiator springs in the human-verse. i don't think you've mentioned it in any of your fics (except maybe that one chapter of whumptober). if you have put absolutely no thought into it that ignore this lol

I spent all day thinking about this

So. I have left.... .. Many things ambiguous cause I couldn't figure out how to make it fit exactly in the human!verse side of things XD

But I, like everyone else, have Thoughts:

Let's start with the trailers: so there are some very obvious differences in my human!verse and NASCAR, though I do take a lot of inspiration from irl racing (mainly the racing aspect itself). But where a lot of NASCAR drivers fly to their races, most of the guys in the human!verse here will ride in a trailer, either in the same trailer as their cars (basically a small room just for them tucked in the very back of the trailer closest to the truck part) or in a separate trailer that's very RV-like, depending on how much $$$ the sponsors want to spend. so, for example, Dinoco obviously would go the two-trailer way if not just outright flying the King out to a race if it's far (or with Cal's run, just opt to go the RV route since the two are family and live together easier than a lot of crew chief/driver combos can), where early on Rust-Eze isn't going to or has the money to spend on buying rookie Lightning a whole other trailer, especially if he doesn't have a crew chief sharing the space with him. So for his rookie year he's staying in a small, cramped trailer room that's very reminiscent of a small, pop-up camper room if you've ever stayed in one of those. It's got the bare minimum and the door opens along the side to the outside world or directly into the trailer where the car is.

my crude representation

The car, usually packed up by the pit crew, has to be secured by Mack this time, who is used to securing regular cargo from his past jobs and does not tie down the wheels correctly. there is no pit crew to double check and lightning, who does know how to do it properly, is too prissy to check it himself.

And lightning, being the drama (mc)queen he is, will sometimes opt to sit in the car in the trailer rather than the cramped bedroom (not that the car is any less cramped with the way the seat is but it's his happy place whether he'll admit it or not)

And same as the movie, he promises he'll stay up with Mack and falls asleep anyways, just in the driver's seat of the car (impressive, since those are Not comfy and he's still in his fire suit from earlier (stinky boy))

And same as movie, one of those toys on the shelves falls and opens the back door when Mack falls asleep behind the wheel and ends up in the rumble strips. The car, secured incorrectly, gets shaken out of the straps and starts creeping down the ramp until it ends up stock-still and facing backwards on an active highway.

Which is Bad news.

Lightning wakes to cars dodging him and he manages to start the car and whip it around in an adrenaline-fueled record time.

Mack is gone

And (because it's funny) Lightning's drivers licence is useless here (it's a Florida license and as someone who held a fl license for a while, in some places they do not give a fuck, they'll pretty much throw that thing at you and call for the next person) so it's been, oh, a few years since he's been behind the wheel of a car in a real road (I hc him as somewhere around 23-24 in the first movie) and between that and the adrenaline, he can't remember how to read the road signs to tell him where to go (and it's not like any of them are saying LA yet, theyre still a ways out.)

The rest of his chaotic journey through to RS is the same in the movie just cause that's my favorite scene in the movie and idc if it'd be impossible in real life. it's fun.

And I'm torn with Mack's side of things between not changing it and him stopping at a rest stop, getting something from inside, and as he comes back out seeing the back open and panicking bc he thinks someone stole the 95, only to then find Lightning missing and then thinking someone stole the 95 *and* kidnapped Lightning. Poor Mack.

So yeah. This was mostly me talking through the logistics of how trailers work in my human!verse but I feel like that's really important to how I imagine Lightning ending up in RS. Of course, after doc and everyone joins, Rust-Eze splurges on a whole other RV-like trailer for Lightning and Doc, with the others usually being put up in a hotel nearby or something. Rust-Eze not having an RV trailer is why in 'beginning another end' Doc and Lightning stay in a motel overnight. Even though Mack and the 95 trailer were still there, Lightning hates the little bedroom and opted to stay in a shitty motel room w Doc instead (also he has separation anxiety lol)

And in 'straight and narrow' lightning sits up in the front with poor Mack (who usually sleeps in the attached bedroom on the truck cab, which is not too dissimilar to Lightning's trailer room, just that Lightning has a smidge more standing room in his)

(So in my fics, when I say 'trailer' it's usually referring to something like an RV bus. Who drives it? Idk yall just roll with it lol)

Basically this puzzle boiled down to:

How does lightning end up separated from Mack and the trailer?

How does the car end up separated from the trailer?

How do the two get separated together?

How does Mack not notice until LA (or sooner, depending)?

I lean this way personally rather than the other popular version (also the movie writers' original version of events i believe) where lightning is accidentally left behind at a rest stop (which is also very valid!!) just because personally it doesn't answer more questions for me than it generates (but my alt events for Mack kind of pays homage to it bc it's still a very good version of events).

Lightning being separated with the car is important for obvious reasons and the og movie had a plausible swiss-cheese of events, so all I think it needs is some light tweaking before we got something just as (humanly ;)) plausible on our hands.

I have no idea if this answers your question or if I just went on the most unhinged ramble :)

[friendshipgun]

Hello! I know you said you're not super active on here, but I just wanted to pop in and say that I've been reading fanfic for over 10 years now and your 'In the Spirit That I Crave' verse is by far the best I've ever read. I can't count how many times I've reread each chapter, and I look forward to each new piece that comes out!! You capture these characters in such a perfect way, and I'm so grateful that you've chosen to share that with all of us!!

I actually just had a great personal tragedy occur in my life, funnily enough on the same day as chapter 23 coming out, and honestly, that helped me get through the day.

Anyway, very sorry to ramble. I'm not normally one for comments, but I just couldn't help myself in this case. Just wanted to say thank you very much!!

first off: thank you for taking the time to send this to me. it was a very, very nice message to receive, and it means a lot to me that you hold my writing in such high regard. (i've spent over an hour now trying to figure out how best to reply to you, because i'm not sure if i can adequately convey just what reading this meant to me, but just know that it meant A LOT and that i'm very happy that you like my writing this much.)

i also just wanted to say that, having used fanfic myself (both writing and reading it) to get through a lot of very rough patches in my life, that it makes me so incredibly glad to know that my writing could help in any way. i hope that things get better for you soon!

thank you again <3 <3

[hergrandplan]

Nina <333 18, 8 and 23 pls!!!

lia my love <333333

8. If you had to write a sequel to a fic, you'd write one to...

Okay, I'm not gonna answer this with editorial AU even though I'm... not saying no to the idea of that getting a sequel already but nothing of it is posted yet so I'm gonna go with Took a While (but we made it), because I'd actually genuinely love to write their wedding lol

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

Of course I keep them! Have this from Chapter 7 of Suburban Legends (for context, initially there was a different scene between Felice and Wille, but I just couldn't get that to work):

“Plus, it’s not like we’re actually friends anyways,” he continued. “I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t like me enough for that. He’s still pretending.” Simon had left the minute the cameras stopped rolling. They hadn’t even agreed on when they were going to see each other next. “But you’re not pretending.” It wasn’t a question. Felice knew him well enough for that. Wille slumped against the couch cushions, and her gaze softened.  “No,” Wille said defeated. “No, I’m not.”

23. Pick 3 keyword to describe your writing

Descriptive, emotional (i hope), careful

i hope that makes sense lol

[bolithesenate]

hiiii

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)?

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

sorry this took a while. i was hiking. and then i was sloshed from hiking.

13 - the big fat goose-egg is the norm. zero planning. even if I try to do planning, what I actually put down devolves from what i planned so quickly that it doesn't bear any resemblance to it anyways.

so why bother?

(that being said, I do come up with a lot of worldbuilding seperately and without it being tied to writing. Like, i will think up elaborate subsections to the jedi service corps and make flowcharts which i then can use in fics, but that's not tied to a specific project usually)

23 - vibes. i write until there is a good stopping point and i've reached the rough amount of words i wanna go for (i try to keep all my chapters at around the same length)

29 - i don't have anything that's i won't ever post, but u can have one of the mud fic deleted scenes that i haven't yet put into the deleted scenes fic :P

The flitting lights of Coruscant's nightlife blinking through the window painted Sifo's face into an ever changing cascade of wandering shadows. His eyes, whenever the light caught in them, had the blurred, dreamlike quality they often took on after a vision passed.

He was staring out of the window. Captured by the passing speeders and holo billboards.

"Sy?," Yan asked quietly, placing one hand on the other's thigh.

Almost unwillingly, Sifo pulled himself away from the mesmerizing view, directing his gaze towards Yan below him. 

As if only realizing now that the other Jedi was in the same bed, happy surprise rolled off him in gentle waves. Elation but no recognition. Yan's heart sank. He reached out in the Force, already guessing what he'd find.

Sifo's mind, normally a roiling cloud - gentle but powerful, always in a tug-of-war with the ambient Unifying Force -, was more akin to a light fog now. Spread out, barely more than a slightly louder whisper against the backdrop of the Temple's own hum in the Living.

Quiet fear gripped Yan.

This wasn't good. Not good at all.

Sifo hadn't felt this… thinned out in forever. Not since the first few visions, right after the incident itself, where none of them had truly known how to properly aid him through them. 

Yan pushed himself up, meeting Sy who - for some reason - had been straddling his middle halfway. His arms wrapped around his frail form, pulling him into a desperate hug. 

"Don't you dare lose yourself now, Sy. We've come so far," he whispered in the other's ears as he scrambled to, best as he could, help the Seer pull the bits and pieces of his being back together. It was like trying to catch fog with his fingers, always slipping through, barely following the paths he laid out. He tried to not let the fear get ahold of him. It wouldn't serve anyone in this situation. 

Sifo - Sifo's body, his mind was almost completely gone - let out a shuddering breath against the nape of Yan's neck.

It felt like the breath of a dying man.

Screw the Order's tenants. Yan was properly panicking now.

(This was too close, way too close to back then when Sifo had first lost himself to a violent vision. They had thought this under control. It wasn't supposed to happen like this anymore.)

Yan couldn't say how long he sat there, cradling Sifo close, pulling him back together like wet sand in the flood.

Piece by piece.

Memory by memory.

Every second he feared that he'd not be fast enough, feared that the bit of Sifo that remained - the bit that remembered that his body needed to breathe and his heart needed to beat. That he wouldn't irrevocably come apart when he was right there in his grasp.

The entire time, not that he remembered much of it, he was too focussed on gathering Sy's mind back together, Yan was muttering into the other man's ears. It just spilled out of him. Everything, from paltry stories to fond memories and ruthless threats that if he didn't come back… well, Yan wasn't sure what he'd do, but it wouldn't be in accordance with the Order's tenants. At all. 

Somewhere in there there might have been a confession of feelings he wasn't entirely clear on himself.

There might have been promises. Promises of a future together, bound by every vow and bond imaginable. Bound by so many ties that Sy would never get lost like this again.

[killerandhealerqueen]

Asks time, let's go

Ask game for fic writers- 1, 3, 5, 16, 24, 28, 30, 37, 39, 44, 58, 72

Ask game for fic writers #2- 10, 15, 16, 30, 32, 38, 44

Fun meta asks - 3, 4, 7, 9, 15, 16, 18, 20, 21, 23, 25

Took, my beloved!! Alright y'all, buckle the fuck up, this shit gone be long

1. do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just stumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road?

For some fics, yes, I do know how they're going to end when they start, but most times we're just kinda...figuring it out as we go. And sometimes that's the fun part because when just writing, you can sometimes come up with shit better than when you outlined/planned it

3. on a scale of 1-10 how much do you enjoy incorporating romance into the average story?

I enjoy it. So like...an 8-9? Most of my stories are romance anyways so it's not that hard for me

5. have you ever made a playlist about something you were writing as an elaborate means to procrastinate when you could have been actually writing and if yes drop a link, son

Nope. I don't make playlists for my fics

16. where is your favorite place to write?

Well, I write anywhere, but my bed is always a good place. Things just tend to flow there

24. on average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

Depends on the fic. Sometimes I can get pages done, sometimes nothing. But on average, I'd say...1.5-2k? Sometimes more? Like I said, just depends

28. handwritten notes or typed notes?

Typed. My hands cramp after writing for too long. And it's just easier to type if there's a lot of information

30. most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you.

"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you know" ~ A.A Milne

My parents say it to me a lot whenever I have imposter syndrome/am doubting myself. It helps a lot

37. when creating characters, what comes first: appearance, backstory, motivation, personality, something else?

Now, I don't create OC's, but personality, I think would come first for me. I always like characters who have personalities that don't match their appearance (and personalities are more interesting to work with anyways because they're shaped by backstory, motivation, etc.)

39. are you an avid reader?

I am! When I'm not reading fanfiction and I want to get away from the computer, I'll pick up a book. Sometimes if I'm really into one, I can crush one in a day/couple of hours. I've always been a voracious reader

44. any writing advice you want to share?

Just write what you enjoy. You're not writing to please anyone else but yourself (and maybe a few loyal readers). So like...don't write what's trendy or popular, write what makes you happy. It makes the fic much more enjoyable for you and for your readers

58. what is the last thing that a fic made you google when you were writing it?

Hmm...I think for my fic The Tiger is Out, I had to google/duckduckgo the name of the poem the fic was inspired by because I couldn't remember it

72. what do you do if a scene gets too serious?

Oh boy, take a break. There are a lot of scenes in the Killer and Healer rewrite that make me cry/make my heart hurt so I have to take a break from writing it/do something else for a little bit to get a breather. I mean, I can push through (which I've done before) but you feel a little empty afterwards. Or I'll go talk with my discord chat and tell them what just happened to get my mind off the scene

ask game for fanfic writers | send me asks

10. How do you stay motivated to finish what you’ve started?

Ooo, great question. Most times, if a story has gripped me by the throat, I'll keep working on it till it's completed. As for multi-chapters, sometimes I fall outta hyperfixation with them and I don't wanna work on them anymore, but then I also don't wanna leave them unfinished indefinitely (which is fine, of course but not for me) so I finish them (and I tend to feel better after I finish them, sometimes because I'm genuinely happy it's finished or sometimes I've relieved that it's over)

15. OCs or no OCs?

For me, no OCs, just because I don't need them in my stories. But more the merrier for others, y'all have fun creating your little guys

16. Do you use sentence starters, writing prompts and/or fandom headcanons for your fanfics?

Most of my fics started out as writing prompts, tbh. My Killer and Healer fics now are mostly my own ideas/aus...unless i'm feeling really uninspired. But I do still use sentence starters or other ideas to kind of spark something, if again, my brain can't figure out what it wants to write

30. What writing software do you use?

I use Microsoft Word and it's the only writing software I will ever use

32. Past or present tense?

Past, for the most part. Sometimes my headcanons will be in present but my fics are mainly in past

38. Do you partake in any fanfic/writing events? (Big bangs, zines, NaNoWriMo, etc?)

I do not, actually. I did NaNoWriMo in like...8th grade but nothing since

44. Does fanart of your fanfic exist?

It does! For my fic Violence Is Never the Answer...Except When It Is, @a-single-log-bridge drew Chen Yuzhi with a katana! You can see the fanart here! (With this I am giving y'all permission to draw my fics, please god, draw my fics, I beg)

ask game for fanfic writers! ⌨️🖊📓📝 | send me asks

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Honestly, have no idea

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

Gonna copy my scene from my other ask that I got about this question, hang on

From my fic My One and Only (Killer and Healer mignon/vampire au)

         “Jiang Yuelou” he breathed before he quickly knelt before him and cupped his face in his hands.          “Jiang Yuelou” he whispered.  Jiang Yuelou, however, didn’t answer, causing Chen Yuzhi to whimper before he reached out and carefully pulled him into his arms, hugging him gently but tightly.          “I’m sorry.  Jiang Yuelou, I’m so sorry.  I lied…everything that I said was a lie.  I’m sorry.  I love you.  I really, really love you.  So please…please don’t leave me” he begged as he clung to him and buried his face in his neck.          “Don’t leave me.  Please don’t leave me” he pleaded.  Jiang Yuelou, however, didn’t answer again, causing Chen Yuzhi to let out another whimper before he hugged him tighter.          “Please” he whispered, just as two strong, but gentle, arms came around him and hugged him back.          “I won’t” a weak voice whispered, causing Chen Yuzhi to gasp and lift his head out of Jiang Yuelou’s neck as he looked at him with wide eyes.          “Jiang Yuelou” he breathed as Jiang Yuelou slowly lifted his head and smiled at him.          “Chen Yuzhi” he replied, causing Chen Yuzhi to let out a sob before he buried his face in his shoulder and hugged him tightly, making him smile weakly as he gave him a tight squeeze in return.          “I’m here.  I’m here.  I’m not going anywhere” he whispered. 

I just really like this scene because while Chen Yuzhi does like Jiang Yuelou throughout the fic, he's never like...expressed/reciprocated his feelings to Jiang Yuelou, who has. And now in this moment, when he's afraid Jiang Yuelou is going to die, he confesses that he loves him. And who doesn't love that trope, huh?

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

Um...someone's always gonna get whumped, I know that much. Also, descriptions/dialogue...I've always been told I'm good at those...as well as staying in character/characters feel like how they do in canon, no matter the au. So I guess that? Idk (I'm never good about answering questions about my personal writing style because I don't pay attention to that sort of thing)

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

Longfic. Always longfic, especially when it comes to Killer and Healer. I mean, look at my fucking word count on ao3. Do I look like a drabble writer to you? (No offense to anyone who does drabbles, just could not be me)

Most times, I am a pantser. I've learned that plotting kind of stifles my creativity. The only time "plotting" has worked for me is figuring out what's going to happen in each chapter of my fic The Demon and the Angel.

And no, I do not. I like writing my long fics and I like figuring stuff out on the go. That's what makes writing fun to me

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

They're each hard in their own way, but I guess personally titles. Summaries for me are easy because I just take like a line/passage out of my fic and use that as the summary. Tags can be tricky too because I wanna make sure I tag everything that I think is in my fic but sometimes I can't tag everything (though I do try)

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

At some point, I'm going to try a sci-fi fic, which I've never done before, so that'll be interesting. It's inspired by the Netflix Movie Rebel Moon and I think it'll be fun once I get around to it...and my brain stops plaguing me with other au ideas

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

My fic Monster Like Me had a completely different version before I decided I liked the current version better....but even getting to that version it took 3 rewrites, one complete deletion of the fic and original outline and a whole new rewrite to get to what it is today. And I have to say I like this version so much better than what it was originally. Did you know this fic took me almost a fucking month to write? That's the longest a oneshot has ever taken me. Ever

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Oh...I don't really have a lot of meta, at least not with the fic I'm currently working on. But with my Rebel Moon au, the idea actually came to me on my 7 hour plane ride home from Hawaii. I couldn't sleep at all nor did I play on my computer nor did I watch any movies...I just listened to music the entire time. And for most of the time, I listened to

on repeat. If you wanna read the rest of the story, I actually answered about the au over here

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

Well, I write most of my stories like they're a movie/drama, so movie/drama would work, because I see my writing (or any writing for that matter) like it's a movie playing in my head

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

A Killer and Healer Howl's Moving Castle au. I've always loved Howl's Moving Castle and I think it would work great as a K&H au, but I just don't know a) which couple to use because it could work both ways and b) when I'm ever going to have time to write it (because I am plagued with other au ideas all the damn time)

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Oh man, talking about fic ideas with your friends. Just gushing about how scenes would work/play out, who characters would be (if I'm inspiring a fic off of a drama/anime/movie/manga), what certain scenes will entail...stuff like that. That shit is fun. I mean, writing is fun too because you're taking what's in your brain and putting it on paper, but like...just brainstorming with your friends is fun

Fun meta asks for writers | send me asks

[team-heavenly]

Chapter 23 - Blizzard Island Rescue

And by the randomizer list, I dub thee... Chapter Name.

...Thank you, RNG 🙄

I guess I'm making title cards for the post-game chapters now! Well, this shot came out too nice for me not to use.

(Also this post was supposed to come out several days ago but my job had other plans for me... Sorry.)

Some days after the ascension of Sky Peak Cloudy Well...

Hey, Starmie? Any reason why you're standing <2 inches in front of Aerodactyl? Let him breathe!!

Seaking for Scizor, huh? Yeah, I can see that! Both names start with an S, anyway.

The... the what.

*Imagines a 4-way intersection made of rubber bands*

Wait... *processing*

Just to be a joy kill, I'm having the same thought I did at Sky Peak... Why couldn't Ice Types handle this rescue? Or were there none around? Or did they just go "F*ck this guy in particular"?

Incredible team? Saving the world? You could almost call us... a gift from Heaven!

...I'll see myself out.

👀 Would I? Would I?? You betcha! If nothing else, I want to know what the hell an Elastic Crossroad is.

...Just kidding, I don't want to know anymore. (Gee, this looks awfully familiar.)

Thankfully, unlike Nonsensical Castle, there's not too much for me to say here. To help me construct these posts, I take notes whenever something of significance happens. And my only notes for Elastic Crossing are as follows (verbatim):

Linoone spamming Dark Void in a single room floor and having Bad Dreams 🥲

Lots of one-room floors actually... 2, 8, 9.

Good job team, we made it through relatively painlessly!

So yeah, I'll just share the few shots I have and we can move on 😃

I believe this is the Icicle Forest aesthetic? Cold and foreboding indeed.

🥺️ Oh, honey. You're not in the world you think you are (thank god).

🎩 HE WAS NUMBER ONE!! ☝️

Ngl, a room full of poisonous frogs and snakes, violent piranhas, and god-tier apes would be mortifying irl. But here, we get through without too much trouble and eventually emerge to find...

Oh... Yaaaaaay...

Dirty Province 💀 This is two steps away from being... you know what, never mind.

Crevice Cave is a gentrified village?? Or perhaps referring to a certain Danish prince.

Uh. No comment on this one. ._.

Okay, Teresa officially has the BEST IQ group ever. Coin Watcher, Wise and Quick Healer, Self Curer, Brick Tough, Deep Breather, All-Terrain Hiker... Well, I guess that one is irrelevant with her Flying type. And now Trap Buster?? Talk about a GAME-changer!

In the lowest depths of the "Ghetto"...

I'm gonna posit their shock is due to seeing a Scizor instead of a Seaking...?

But suddenly! A wild Snow Storm appeared!

Ooooo, okay, who's our Froslass?

O-O YEAH OKAY THAT WOULD BE TERRIFYING! GOOD CALL, RANDOMIZER!

Ironically(?), this happened immediately afterward:

This was before anyone made a move, so I guess Steelix has Drizzle?

LOOK AT THAT DAMAGE!! SUPER EFFECTIVE CRITICAL HIT BABEY!!!

As this image suggests... Steelix went down after only two turns of Mud Slap and Octazooka. Not so scary now, huh?

Tee-hee... See you never ❤️️

May as well click here to advance to Part 2 and give Seaking time to thaw.

[myocsfanfictions]

The Road Ahead of Us - TWD (Season 2)

The Walking Dead Fanfiction

MASTERLIST

They had left Atlanta behind, trying to reach Fort Benning; but during an apocalypse nothing ever goes at it is planned. Sarah and Nicolette will have to face new challenges and dangers. How will they survive?

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Chapter 23

SARAH

Sarah had lived that day feeling as if it was endless. She was well aware of the meeting that they would have to face at twilight, but she was not emotionally ready for it.

She hated her thoughts and what they would have caused in a few hours.

Sarah remembered her mother and when she would follow her during the trials, her boss was working on. That was the main reason why Sarah decided that she would never become a lawyer. It was brutal. The same was true for the judge. And she hoped that they would never call her to be part of the jury. She never wanted to decide on those matters, and now that they were talking about a human life, she felt guilty. It didn't matter what she would have chosen. She would have felt guilty anyway. Sarah was sure that they could not trust Randall, and that and the perspective of his group coming to destroy them made her prefer to side with Rick, but she understood where Dale was coming from, and in another kind of world, she would have sided with him instantly, but not now...

Now, things were different, and she felt like it was needed for them to protect themselves.

And there they were, all gathered in Hershel's living room. No one was talking, and the dread and terror on their faces was evident. Sarah was sitting next to Glenn, her legs bouncing as he rubbed his eyes. Dale was right next to them. Maggie and her father were sitting on the couch across from them. T was next to Patricia, who was sitting down, Andrea and Shane side by side, while Lori, Carol, and Rick were on the other side of the room. Behind them, leaning with his hand on the wall, there was Daryl. As he entered, Sarah shared a look with him; she was glad that he had come to talk with them about this. The last to enter were Carl and Nicki. It was evident that they both wanted to stay there, but Rick told them to go up the stairs. Nicolette looked over her, but Sarah shook her head and gestured for her to do what Rick had said.

Once the children went upstairs, Glenn had been the first to break the heavy silence.

"So how do we do this?" He asked tensely, "Just take a vote?"

"Does it have to be unanimous?" Andrea proposed, but Lori shook her head.

"How about majority rules?" she said, and Sarah closed her eyes. Were they already voting? Her hands trembled. She wasn't ready; she simply wasn't. Was she really raising her hand to vote for a boy to die?

"Let's... let's just see where everybody stands," Rick proposed, "Then we can talk through the options."

Sarah did her best to breathe as she nodded her head, but she felt like no air was entering her lounges.

"Yeah, well, where I sit, there's only one way to move forward," Shane stated.

"Killing him," Dale challenged him with a glare, "Right?"

Sarah clenched her hands in an attempt to release some stress. They were killing a person... that was something she had never thought would have happened in her life. The word killing was really making anything easy. She felt so selfish, but she couldn't decide to try and feel less selfish. If those people found where Randall was, they would have come and killed everyone, and the same thing could happen if he had escaped. And if he was as bad as his people were, what would he have done to them? They couldn't know. They couldn't risk. Could they?

"Why even bother to take a vote?" Dale kept saying, "It's clear which way the wind's blowing. " The man's voice was so disappointed that it hurt deeply. It was so painful to know that Dale felt that way toward them.

"If people believe we should spare him, I wanna know," Rick protested, but that didn't stop Dale.

"Well, I can tell you it's a small group," he answered. "Maybe just me and Glenn." Sarah turned to her friend, but his expression was the same as everyone's. He was not going to side with Dale...

"Look," he started quietly looking at the older man, "I think you're pretty much right about everything, all the time, but this-"

"They've got you scared!" Dale argued, but Sarah shook her head.

"Not them. Him," she said honestly, "And what he and his group can do. " Her eyes met Daryl's as she turned; he was observing her with wide eyes, and then he looked down.

"And he is not one of us," Glenn kept saying, "And we've lost too many people already."

Dale took a breath before turning towards Maggie to ask her what she thought about the situation. The girl stood up with crossed hands, her face showing a conflicted expression.

"Couldn't we continue to keeping him prisoner?" she asked, but then Daryl was the one who spoke.

"Just another mouth to feed."

"It may be a lean winter," Hersel said.

"We could ration better," Lori proposed, and Dale immediately responded, telling them that Randall could have been an asset during winter.

"Give him a chance to prove himself," he said, looking at each one of them.

"So, we..." Sarah muttered, her head pounding from the stress of that situation, "We'd let him go around?"

"Putting him to work?" asked Glenn, backing her up.

"No," Rick said, turning to Sarah. "We're not letting him walk around," the girl nodded her head. She appreciated that he was trying to reassure her.

"We could put an escort on him," Maggie proposed.

"And who wants to volunteer for that duty?" Shane asked skeptically.

"I will!" Dale exclaimed, and Sarah knew he would have done it.

Her eyes fixed on Shane and his reaction to Dale's words; he scoffed mockingly. It was clear that he wanted to kill Randall, but he didn't seem bothered about it.

Her mind went back to a few hours before and to what she had witnessed in the cabin: how Shane had treated Randall. He almost seemed eager to get rid of the guy.

"I don't think any of us should be walking around with this guy," Rick said, and Sarah felt like agreeing.

"He is right," Lori backed her husband up, "I wouldn't feel safe unless he is tied up."

"Me too," Sarah said, nodding her head, "If we find another way to keep him alive, that's great. But I don't want him near my sister, Beth and Carl."

Maybe Randall was not strong enough to do something to Daryl, Rick, or Shane, but the children were another matter. Sarah was up for other solutions, but they needed to be sure that Randall was not a threat, in any way, to anyone. If they didn't, then the worst solution was the only one they had.

"We can't exactly put chains around his ankles, sentence him to hard labor," Andera argued.

And that was true as well...

"Look, say we let him join us, right? Maybe he is helpful, maybe he is nice," Shane began, always with the same tone, almost mocking, "We let our guard down, and maybe he runs off, bringing back his 30 men."

"So the answer is to kill him to prevent a crime that he may never even attempt?" at Dale's exclamation, Sarah looked up. It was hard to hear outloud what she was doing exactly. The guilt crept into her heart. She didn't want to choose. How could she choose something like that?

"If we do this, we're saying there's no hope," Dale insisted, "Rule of law is dead, there is no civilization."

"That's true..." Sarah said, and Dale looked toward her.

"Oh my God," Shane said shaking his head.

"I'm sorry I don't find it easy," Sarah exclaimed, looking at Shane, who looked in her direction, "I've never thought that I would ever find myself talking about killing a guy. I hate it, and I am scared. And I'm thinking about killing someone only based on that," she took a breath, "If there was some kind of rules there would be a trial..."

"There's no jury," Daryl said, making her turn, "Not anymore."

"I know that..." she muttered, feeling her eyes fill with tears. She didn't want to make that decision.

"Could you drive him further out?" Hershel proposed, "Leave him like you planned?"

Lori shook her head, turning to her husband. "You barely came back this time. There are walkers. You could break down, you could get lost."

"You can get ambushed," Daryl added.

"They are right," Glenn intervened, "We should not put our own people at risk."

Sarah found herself nodding. They could not lose someone else. She loved all of them, and she did not know Randall. Was that enough to decide a person's life?

"If you go through with it," Patricia said, "How would you do it? Would he suffer," Sarah took a heavy breath.

"Please, let's not torture him, at least," she muttered.

"We could hang him, right?" Shane said, looking over Rick, "Just snap his neck."

"I thought about that," Rick explained, "Shooting may be more humane."

In what kind of world were they living if shooting a person was considered a human act?

"What about the body?" T asked, "Do we bury him-"

"Hold on, hold on!" Dale exclaimed, "You're talking about this like it's already decided."

"We've been talking all day," Daryl said, "Going around in circle. You just wanna go around in circle again?"

"This is a young man's life!" at Dale's exclamation, Sarah closed her eyes, forcing herself not to cover her ears. "And it is worth more than a five-minute conversation!" No one talked, but everybody knew that, morally, Dale was saying the right thing.

"There is so much at risk, Dale," Sarah said sadly. As she looked at the man, she had to dry a tear that had fallen from her eyes.

"You said yourself before, Sarah," Dale answered to her, "We can't kill someone because we are scared, or even worse, because we can't decide what else to do with him!" Then he turned to Rick, "You saved him, and now look at us. He is been tortured. He is gonna be executed," Sarah found herself turning towards Daryl, looking at his hand, before meeting his gaze. They observed each other for a moment, thinking back to the conversation they had when she was taking care of his hands.  

"How are we any better than those people that we're so afraid of?" Dale kept saying. No one answered. They all felt guilty about what they were thinking of doing because it was indeed selfish, but they couldn't risk losing someone else.

"We all know what needs to be done," Shane stated after having taken a breath, but Rick interrupted him.

"No, Dale is right," he said, "We can't leave any stone unturned here."

"So what's the other solution?" Andrea asked, "We haven't come up with a single viable option yet. I wish we could-"

"So, let's work on it!" Dale exclaimed.

"Stop it," Carol said with a trembling voice, "Just stop it. I'm sick of everybody arguing and fighting. I didn't ask for this. You can't ask us to decide something like this," Sarah looked down, drying another tear, "Please decide, either of you, both of you, but leave me out," Carol kept saying.

"Not speaking out or killing him yourself, there's no difference," Dale's words stung hard.

"Alright, that's enough," Rick said, stopping the conversation. "Anybody who wants the floor before we make a final decision has the chance."

Again, the room filled with silence. Sarah hated all of that; how could they kill someone? But what if he would have caused harm to one of them?

"You once said," Dale tried again, making a step towards Rick, "That we don't kill the living."

"Well, that was before the living tried to kill us," Rick argued back. Sarah instinctively looked over to Glenn. They really could have lost him, Rick, and Hershel that night. And Randall was there, too.

"But don't you see?" Dale begged, "If we do this, the people that we were, the world that we knew, is dead. And this world is ugly. It's harsh. It's... it's survival of the fittest. And that's a world I don't wanna live in, and I don't believe that anybody of you do. I can't!"

He was right. Sarah hated that world as much as he did. She hated what she was seeing, and what her sister was seeing. She frequently woke up in the middle of the night, looking at her sleeping sister, asking herself what would have happened to Nicolette in the future, what she would have become. And it scared her. It terrorized her what that world could do to her little sister. If they killed Randall, what Nicki would have learnt?

"Please," Dale begged, tears in his eyes. "Let's just do what's right."

Nobody spoke. Someone looked away, others took an heavy breath.

"Isn't there anybody else who's gonna stand with me?" Dale asked

Sarah couldn't. And she hated herself for that. She hated how Dale was heartbroken, but she didn't know what to do.

"He is right," Andrea said, looking at Dale, "We should try to find another way."

Rick nodded his head, "Anybody else?"

Sarah took a breath, "I'm sorry, but... I'm terrorized by what can happen," as she spoke, Dale looked over her, "And, Dale, if we can find a safe solution, I'm more than happy to side with you," another tear fell against her cheek. She didn't want Nicki to think that killing was the easiest solution. She was terrorized by the idea of Nicki dying in that world. But she didn't want to make her forget what it was to be human and live in a safe civilization.

"Someone else?" Rick asked, but no one else spoke.

Sarah looked at the ground.

"Are y'all gonna watch, too?" Dale said, holding back his tears, "No, you'll go hide your heads in your tents and try to forget that we're slaughtering a human being," he took a deep breath, shaking his head, "I won't be part of it," then he headed towards the door. As he passed by Daryl, putting a hand on his shoulder, "This group is broken," and then he left.

*************************************************************

If you’d like to be add to the tag list, just let me know!

@reichelhache

@bunnymother93

[mcrdvcks]

Down Bad - Chapter 23

Chapter Summary: Amina and Hunter continue to try and expand their family. But, while coping with some less-than-great news, Amina and Omega head off on a data extraction mission for Bail Organa.

Word Count: 9.4k+

Pairing: Hunter x fem!Jedi Original Character

Notes: it's me, hi! i'm the problem it's me.

i didn't talk about it last chapter, but i'm very happy that we've gotten to the point where amina and hunter are trying for a baby :)

anyways, i'm going off to a wedding tomorrow so this will be the last update until probably monday. luckily, yesterday was the last day of my summer job (yay!) so i should have a week or two of pure relaxation and sleeping in before packing up my things and heading back off to college.

with all that said, i hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Series Masterlist - Chapter 22 → Chapter 24

AO3 Link For Chapter

Hunter turned onto his side, looking at Amina who was laying on her stomach, her hair in knots and in her face, but sound asleep.

The blanket had fallen to her midback, showing the hickeys and handprints from last night. His finger brushed across one that was in the middle of one of scars as he winced. Perhaps he was a bit too much last night, but Amina seemed to enjoy it.

He shifted closer to her, his hand coming to rest on her bare back, his touch gentle as he brushed a strand of hair away from her face. She looked so peaceful in sleep, her features relaxed and serene. He couldn't help but marvel at her beauty, even in the dim light of their bedroom.

Hunter kissed her head before slipping out of the bed to take a shower and get dressed. He went into the kitchen and made some caf as someone knocked on the door. He made his way over to see Amellia and Omega standing outside.

“Hey, Hunter!” Omega cheerfully said.

She walked into the house as he looked at Amellia, “I was assuming, based on you and Amina’s abrupt absence that you didn’t exactly want company in the house. Especially hers. So, she stayed over at my place.”

Hunter nodded in understanding, a sense of relief washing over him at Amellia's words. He appreciated her thoughtfulness in giving them some space, especially after the intensity of their night together. “And how exactly do you know what happened last night?”

Amellia sighed, leaning against the doorway, “I have my ways. Your pupils dilated last night when Omega said Amina was talking to the guy at the stand, and your breathing increased by approximately 2%.”

Hunter blinked in response as Amellia grinned, her playful demeanor evident even in the early hours of the morning. "You're quite the observant one, aren't you?" he remarked with a chuckle, impressed by Amellia's keen perception.

Amellia shrugged nonchalantly, a mischievous twinkle in her eye as she leaned against the doorway. "Just a perk of being a doctor," she quipped, her lips curving into a playful smile. "You pick up on things when you're constantly surrounded by patients."

Hunter nodded in understanding, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he regarded Amellia with newfound respect. "I suppose that makes sense," he replied, his voice warm with amusement. "But thanks for looking out for us."

Amellia waved off his thanks with a dismissive gesture, her gaze softening with affection as she glanced between Hunter and Omega. "Of course," she said warmly, her voice filled with sincerity.

"Hey, Omega," Hunter greeted warmly, now looking at Omega who was sitting on the couch, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he watched her flit around the room. "How's it going?"

Omega grinned up at him, her eyes shining with excitement as she bounced on the balls of her feet. "It's going great!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with enthusiasm. "I wanted to ask Amina if she would give me flying lessons today. Crosshair said the skies are supposed to be clear today.”

Hunter and Amellia shared a glance before he looked back at Omega, “maybe. She’s sleeping right now and probably won’t wake up for a while.”

“Is she sick again?” Omega asked, remembering a few years ago and how Amina contracted Dantari flu when they were on Ord Mantell.

"No, she's not sick," Hunter reassured her quickly, wanting to alleviate any concerns Omega may have. "She just had a long night and didn’t fall asleep until late."

Amellia nodded in understanding, her expression sympathetic as she watched Omega process Hunter's words. "Sometimes, we all need a little extra rest," she said gently. "I'm sure Amina will be up and about before you know it, ready to give you those flying lessons."

Omega's eyes brightened at the prospect of spending time with Amina, her worries dissipating as she focused on the excitement of the day ahead. "Yeah, you're probably right," she said with a small smile, her enthusiasm returning in full force. "I'll just have to be patient."

Hunter smiled at Omega's optimism, his heart swelling with affection for the young girl who had become such an integral part of their lives. "That's the spirit," he said warmly, his voice filled with pride. "In the meantime, how about we make some breakfast together?"

Omega's eyes lit up at the suggestion, her smile widening at the thought of spending time with Hunter and Amellia in the kitchen. "I'd love to!" she exclaimed eagerly, already bounding off the couch to join them.

---

Around 5 hours had gone by, and it was now a bit after 12 when Hunter decided to wake Amina up. Omega went over to Crosshair and Wrecker’s house next door and Amellia went to the medical center for her shift.

Hunter gently shook her shoulder, murmuring her name softly as he tried to rouse her from her slumber.

Amina stirred at his touch, her eyelids fluttering open as she blinked sleepily up at him. "Hm? What time is it?" she mumbled, her voice thick with sleep as she stretched lazily beneath the covers.

"It's past noon," Hunter replied with a small smile, his hand coming to rest on her cheek as he brushed away a loose strand of hair. "Thought you might want to get up and enjoy the rest of the day."

Amina's eyes widened in surprise at the late hour, a faint blush coloring her cheeks as she realized how long she had slept. "Oh, sorry," she apologized sheepishly, sitting up in bed and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "I didn't realize I slept in so late."

Hunter shook his head, his smile warm and reassuring as he reached out to take her hand in his. "No need to apologize," he reassured her gently, his thumb brushing across her knuckles in a comforting gesture. "You needed the rest." She flushed, her head burying into her pillow. “You probably also need a shower.”

She grunted in response, reaching out her hand and grabbing his arm as she pulled him down, his head laying on her chest, only covered by the blanket.

Hunter let out a contented sigh as he nestled against Amina's warm chest, the gentle rise and fall of her breathing lulling him into a sense of peace. He felt her fingers combing through his hair, a soothing gesture that sent shivers down his spine. His fingers traced a mark on her stomach over the blanket, “I’m sorry for being rough with you last night.” He murmured.

"Nonsense. I liked it. If I wanted you to stop, I would’ve said so," Amina murmured, her voice soft and reassuring as she ran her fingers through Hunter's hair. Her words washed over him like a soothing balm, easing the tension that had been lingering in his mind since the previous night.

Hunter lifted his head from her chest, meeting Amina's gaze with a mixture of relief and gratitude. "I just don't want to hurt you," he admitted softly, his fingers tracing circles on her bare skin beneath the blanket. "You mean everything to me, Amina. I couldn't bear to see you in pain."

Amina's lips curved into a tender smile at his words, her heart swelling with love for the man who lay beside her. "And you mean everything to me, Hunter," she replied, her voice filled with sincerity. “But I’m pretty sure I was practically begging you to do most of the things you did.”

Hunter chuckled softly, his fingers still tracing gentle patterns on her skin. "You were pretty convincing," he admitted, his voice warm with affection. "I just want to make sure you're always okay."

Amina shifted slightly, her hand coming up to rest on his cheek. "I am okay," she reassured him, her eyes locked onto his. "Especially when I'm with you."

They lay there in comfortable silence for a few moments, simply enjoying each other's presence. Finally, Amina sighed and stretched. "I suppose I should get up and shower. Omega wants those flying lessons."

---

It had been 5 months since they got married, and 3 months since they first started trying for a baby. But they’ve had no luck, which is why Amina and Hunter were sitting in a room at the medical center, with Amellia looking at her datapad.

“Alright, when was your last period?” Amellia asked. Amina looked down at the floor, trying to remember when Amellia spoke again, “was it a month ago?”

Amina looked up, her brow furrowing in frustration as she struggled to recall the details of her last menstrual cycle. "I... can't remember actually," she admitted, her voice tinged with uncertainty.

Amellia glanced up from her datapad, her expression thoughtful as she considered Amina's response. "Hmm, that's okay," she said gently, her tone reassuring. "Let's try to work it out together, okay?"

Amina nodded, a sense of relief washing over her as she realized she wasn't alone in this. "Okay," she agreed softly, her gaze meeting Amellia's with a mixture of gratitude and apprehension.

Amellia tapped a few commands on her datapad, pulling up a calendar to help jog Amina's memory. "Let's start by trying to remember when your last period was," she suggested, her voice calm and measured as she guided Amina through the process. “Do you remember getting one in the past month?”

“No.” Amina responded.

“Okay, how about past 2 months?”

“No.”

Amellia looked up at her, “past 6 months?”

Amina took a longer time before answering, “no.”

“Hmm.” Amellia tapped on her datapad, “what about in the past 2 years?”

“2 years?” Hunter asked, as Amellia held up a finger, waiting for Amina to answer.

“Maybe?” Amina tapped her fingers against her thigh, “I think I remember last getting it around the first month Palpatine took me, around 2 years ago.”

“Have you had one since?”

“…no.” Amina looked over at Amellia, “is that not normal?”

Amellia furrowed her brows in concern as she processed Amina's revelation. "Hmm, it's not exactly normal, but given everything you've been through, it's not entirely unexpected either," she replied gently, her voice tinged with sympathy. "Trauma can have a significant impact on your body, including your menstrual cycle. Did you happen to experience electroshock therapy or extreme blood loss?”

“Does force lightning count?” Amina asked quietly.

Amellia hummed, looking over her datapad, “yes, I would say so.”

Hunter chimed in, “when we were on Tantiss, Hemlock shot her in the chest. She was dead by all accounts until…”

“The Force saved me,” Amina finished.

Amellia cleared her throat, “so, given everything you've been through, it's not surprising that your menstrual cycle has been affected," she began, her tone thoughtful as she glanced at her datapad. "But I'd like to run some tests just to be sure. Some blood tests, an ultrasound, and an MRI scan. That should let us know exactly what we’re dealing with.”

Amina nodded in agreement, a sense of relief washing over her as she realized they were taking proactive steps to address the issue. "That sounds like a good plan," she replied softly, her voice tinged with gratitude as she glanced at Hunter for reassurance.

Hunter squeezed her hand gently, his expression supportive as he met her eyes with a reassuring smile. "Whatever it takes to make sure you're okay," he murmured, his voice warm with affection as he brushed his thumb across her knuckles in a comforting gesture.

Amellia nodded in agreement, her gaze flickering between Amina and Hunter with a mixture of concern and determination. "I'll schedule the tests for tomorrow morning," she said decisively, her tone leaving no room for argument. "In the meantime, try to get plenty of rest and stay hydrated."

Amina and Hunter both nodded in understanding, their gratitude evident in the way they exchanged a silent look of appreciation. They trusted Amellia implicitly, knowing that she would do everything in her power to help them navigate this difficult situation.

As they left the medical center and made their way back home, Amina couldn't shake the sense of unease that lingered in the back of her mind. The possibility of not being able to conceive a child with Hunter weighed heavily on her heart, threatening to overshadow the joy and happiness they had found together.

Hunter sensed her turmoil and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close in a comforting embrace. "Hey, it's going to be okay," he murmured softly, his voice filled with reassurance as he pressed a kiss to her temple. "We'll get through this together, no matter what."

Amina leaned into his embrace, finding solace in the warmth of his touch and the strength of his presence. "I know," she whispered, her voice barely above a whisper as she closed her eyes and allowed herself to be enveloped by his love.

---

Two days later, after Amina had all the tests done, she and Hunter made their way back to the medical center to hear the results.

Amellia greeted them with a warm smile as they entered her office, her eyes flickering with concern as she took in the tension that seemed to radiate from Amina and Hunter. "Hey, you two," she said softly, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Come in, have a seat."

Amina and Hunter exchanged a nervous glance before taking a seat opposite Amellia's desk, their hearts pounding with anticipation as they waited for her to speak. Amellia took a moment to gather her thoughts before speaking, her expression serious yet compassionate.

"I've reviewed the results of your tests, Amina," Amellia began, her voice steady as she met Amina's gaze with a mixture of empathy and concern. "And I'm afraid it's not entirely good news."

Amina's heart sank at Amellia's words, her stomach twisting with anxiety as she braced herself for the worst. "What do you mean?" she asked softly, her voice trembling with emotion.

Amellia hesitated for a moment, her expression grave as she met Amina's eyes with a mixture of empathy and concern. "The tests show that your hormones aren’t properly regulated, which could’ve been caused by extreme stress levels which produced high levels of cortisol. Your hormonal imbalances caused stress-induced hypothalamic amenorrhea, caused by the physical and psychological stress of your torture, which is why you haven’t had your period.”

“And based on the ultrasound, your uterus developed scar tissue, with is also interfering with your fertility and the structure and function of your organ.”

Amina's breath caught in her throat at Amellia's diagnosis, her mind reeling as she struggled to comprehend the gravity of her condition. "So... what does that mean for us?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper as she turned to Hunter for support.

Amellia nodded in agreement, her expression sympathetic as she watched the couple navigate the devastating news. "There are treatment options we can explore," she offered gently, her voice tinged with compassion. "Hormone therapy, surgical intervention to remove the scar tissue, and other fertility treatments might be viable options for you."

Amina's heart fluttered with a glimmer of hope at Amellia's words, her gaze flickering between Hunter and Amellia as she processed the information. "And... what are the chances of success?" she asked tentatively, her voice tinged with uncertainty.

Amellia sighed, her expression somber as she considered Amina's question. "It's difficult to say," she admitted softly, her tone gentle yet honest. "It will depend on the extent of the scar tissue, how your body responds to treatment, and other factors that are unique to your situation. I’m going to start off with prescribing you hormone treatments which might help you with your SIHA, hopefully getting you your period back.”

"That sounds like a good plan," Hunter interjected, his voice calm yet determined. "We'll do whatever it takes to make this work."

Amina nodded in agreement, her eyes reflecting both fear and determination. "Yeah, I'm willing to try anything," she said, her voice wavering slightly. "I just want to have a chance..."

Amellia offered them a small smile, touched by their resilience in the face of adversity. "I'm here to support you every step of the way," she reassured them, her voice warm with compassion. "And I'll make sure to monitor your progress closely."

With the initial shock of the diagnosis beginning to settle, Amina and Hunter turned their attention to the practicalities of the treatment plan. Amellia outlined the details of the hormone therapy, explaining how it would help regulate Amina's hormonal imbalances and hopefully restore her menstrual cycle.

"Is there anything we need to watch out for?" Hunter asked, his brow furrowing with concern. "Any side effects or complications we should be aware of?"

Amellia nodded, appreciating his attentiveness to Amina's well-being. "There can be some side effects, such as mood swings, bloating, or headaches," she explained, her tone reassuring yet informative. "But we'll start with a low dosage and adjust as needed to minimize any discomfort."

Amina squeezed Hunter's hand gratefully, thankful for his unwavering support. "I'll be okay," she said, mustering a small smile. "As long as you're by my side."

Hunter returned her smile, his gaze filled with love and determination. "Always," he vowed, his voice steady with conviction. "We're in this together."

With their resolve strengthened by their love for each other, Amina and Hunter left Amellia's office, ready to face the challenges ahead.

---

Hunter quietly closed the bedroom door as he walked into the kitchen, where Omega and Amellia sat eating a bowl of Crunchies.

Omega looked up from her bowl of cereal, “is Amina going to come with us on our walk?”

Hunter glanced at Omega, his expression softening with affection. "She might join us later if she's feeling up to it," he replied, leaning against the kitchen counter. "But for now, it's just us."

Omega nodded understandingly, her eyes reflecting concern. "Is she okay?" she asked, her voice filled with genuine worry.

“The medicine has been making her a bit more tired than usual, but I’m sure she’ll better in a few days.” Hunter replied.

Omega looked over at Amellia, “is that normal?”

She nodded, “everyone may have different side effects from hormone treatment. I’m 86% sure she’ll feel better in 3 to 4 days.”

Hunter appreciated Amellia's precision, even in moments of uncertainty. He turned to Omega with a reassuring smile. "See, she'll be back to her usual self soon."

Omega seemed to take comfort in that, finishing her cereal with a renewed sense of optimism. "Okay, good. I just want her to be happy."

Hunter ruffled Omega's hair affectionately. "We all do, Omega. We all do."

---

Amina walked into the archives at the Jedi Temple, spotting Anakin sitting at a desk with a holobook. “Ani.” She called out, as he looked up at her, “what are you doing? I can count on my hands the number of times I’ve seen you read a book.”

He looked up at her, his smile not reaching his eyes as she sat down next to him. He was silent for a few minutes before he spoke, “Obi-Wan told me that the Council wants me to spy on the Chancellor.”

Amina's eyes widened in surprise, concern flickering across her face. "Spy on the Chancellor?" she echoed, her voice filled with disbelief. "But why? What reason did they give?"

Anakin sighed, his frustration evident. "They think he's too powerful, that he's gaining too much influence over the Senate. They don't trust him, and they want me to keep an eye on him."

Amina blinked before looking down, “I mean… Anakin, Palpatine has served in the senate far after his term was over.”

“You sound like Obi-Wan.” He angrily replied.

“Have you ever considered the chance that Obi-Wan might be right?”

Anakin's jaw tightened, his eyes darkening with anger. "You don't understand, Amina. The Chancellor has always been there for me. He's supported me when no one else did."

Amina reached out, placing a hand on Anakin's arm. "Anakin, I'm not saying he hasn't been there for you. But there are concerns. Concerns that he's… manipulating things behind the scenes."

Anakin pulled away, shaking his head. "You don't know him like I do. He's a good man, Amina."

Amina sighed, feeling the weight of the conversation pressing down on her. "Just be careful. The Council wouldn't ask you to do this without a good reason."

He stood up abruptly, the chair scraping against the floor. "I can't believe you, of all people, are taking their side."

"I'm not taking sides," Amina said softly, her heart aching. "I'm worried about you."

Anakin didn't respond. He turned and walked away, leaving Amina sitting there, a heavy sense of dread settling over her.

Amina watched him walk out of the archives as she looked at the book he was reading, a book about how the force can help with healing. She glanced back at the door before grabbing the holobook to return it to its spot.

---

Amina jolted awake, her heart racing. She took a moment to orient herself, realizing she was back in her bedroom on Pabu. The familiar sounds of the ocean waves crashing against the shore were a stark contrast to the cold, sterile atmosphere of the Jedi Temple. She glanced at the empty space beside her, where Hunter usually lay. He must have gotten up early.

She turned on her side, her back facing the door as she hugged her pillow. If she had run after Anakin would things have ended differently? Or was it destiny for him to turn to the dark side no matter what?

A tear fell down her face, wondering if Anakin didn’t fall, what would her life be like? Would she still have met Hunter and the rest of the squad? Would Padme have survived childbirth?

Using the force, she brought the comm Vader had gifted her with the Eye of Mesra for a wedding gift months ago, pressing the button as the words popped up, “consider this a wedding gift, Lucky.”

She reached out tentatively, her fingertips hovering over the hologram, as if hesitant to delve deeper into the past. Amina pulled back, turning off the comm and holding her pillow tighter than before.

Lost in her reverie, Amina didn't hear the soft footsteps approaching the door, nor did she notice the subtle shift in the Force as Hunter entered the room. He paused in the doorway, his gaze softening as he took in the sight of his wife, her brow furrowed with worry, her eyes clouded with uncertainty.

"Hey," Hunter said softly, his voice breaking the silence like a gentle breeze. "Everything okay?"

Amina started slightly, startled out of her thoughts by his presence. She turned to face him, offering him a weak smile. "Yeah, just... thinking," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

Hunter crossed the room in a few strides, sitting down beside her on the bed and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "About what?" he asked gently, his eyes filled with concern.

Amina hesitated for a moment, unsure how to voice the turmoil that churned within her. But then, with a deep breath, she began to speak, her words tumbling out in a rush of emotion.

"I was thinking about Anakin," she confessed, her voice tinged with sadness. "And about the choices he made, and... whether things could've been different."

Hunter listened in silence, his heart aching for the pain and uncertainty that weighed heavily on his wife. He knew all too well the burden of regret, the haunting specter of what-ifs that lingered in the darkest corners of the mind.

"Yeah, I think about that too," Hunter admitted softly, his voice filled with empathy. "But we can't change the past, Amina. All we can do is focus on the present, and the future." He rubbed her shoulder, “now how about we get some breakfast in you?”

Amina nuzzled her head into the pillow, “I’m not hungry,” she mumbled.

"Come on, cyar’ika," Hunter coaxed gently. "You need to eat something. It'll help you feel better."

Amina shifted slightly, her gaze distant as she stared off into the distance. "I just... don't feel hungry," she murmured, her voice barely audible.

Hunter sighed softly, his heart aching at the sight of his wife's distress from the hormone therapy. "Okay, how about having a muja fruit," Hunter suggested, trying to lift her spirits. “I can even cut it for you.”

Amina's lips twitched into a faint smile, appreciating his effort. "Alright, I'll have a muja fruit," she agreed quietly.

Hunter's eyes lit up with relief. "Good choice," he said, standing up from the bed. "I'll be right back."

As he headed to the kitchen, Amina lay back, staring at the ceiling. The memories of Anakin and the tumultuous events of their past weighed heavily on her mind. She took a deep breath, willing herself to focus on the present, on the life she and Hunter were building together on Pabu.

Hunter returned a few minutes later, a freshly sliced muja fruit in hand. He sat down beside Amina, offering her a piece. "Here you go, sweetheart."

Amina took the fruit, nibbling on it slowly. The sweet taste was a small comfort amidst her swirling thoughts. "Thank you," she murmured, looking up at Hunter with gratitude.

"Anything for you," Hunter replied softly, his hand resting gently on her knee. "We'll get through this together, okay?"

Amina nodded, her resolve strengthening. "Okay," she said, her voice firmer. "Together."

---

A week had gone by and Amina’s mood had improved. She had even gone on a walk with the squad and tried to plant flowers with Omega in front of their house.

Amina knelt in the soft soil, her hands gently pressing down around the roots of a brightly colored flower. Omega worked beside her, carefully placing each plant with the precision of someone who took their task very seriously. The scent of fresh earth and blooming flowers filled the air, mingling with the distant sound of the ocean waves crashing against the shore.

"You have a good eye for this," Amina said, glancing over at Omega with a smile. "I think these flowers are going to look beautiful once they're all in bloom."

Omega beamed up at her, her face lighting up with pride. "Thanks, Amina! I really like doing this. It feels nice to make something pretty."

Hunter watched from the porch, leaning against the railing with a contented expression. Seeing Amina and Omega together, sharing such a simple joy, made his heart swell with love. He was grateful for these moments, for the tranquility they had found on Pabu after so much turmoil.

Crosshair approached, his usual stoic demeanor softened slightly as he observed the scene. "You two seem busy," he remarked, his voice carrying a hint of amusement.

Amina looked up, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "Just trying to add a little color to our home," she replied with a smile. "Do you want to help?"

Crosshair raised an eyebrow, clearly not one for gardening. "I think I'll leave that to the experts," he said, glancing over at Omega, who was now focused on placing another flower.

Amellia walked up behind Crosshair, her presence unnoticed by him at first. She smiled warmly at Amina and Omega. "Everything looks wonderful," she said, her tone full of genuine admiration. "It's amazing what a little bit of nature can do for the spirit."

Amina nodded in agreement. "It's therapeutic," she said softly.

Amellia's eyes flickered with understanding. "It's important to find those moments of peace," she said. "Especially now."

Crosshair turned slightly, finally noticing Amellia. He gave a brief nod of acknowledgment, his eyes meeting hers for a split second before he looked away. Amellia's smile faltered for a moment, but she quickly recovered, focusing her attention back on the flowers.

Omega stood up, wiping her hands on her pants. "We should take a break," she suggested, looking between Amina and Hunter. "Maybe get something to drink?"

Hunter nodded. "Good idea. How about some Moogan iced tea?"

Omega's face lit up. "Yes, please!"

Amina stood as well, brushing the dirt from her knees. "That sounds perfect."

As they made their way inside, Crosshair and Amellia lingered outside for a moment. Amellia glanced at Crosshair, her expression thoughtful. "You know, you could always try planting something," she said lightly. "You might find it... relaxing."

Crosshair smirked. "I'll leave the gardening to you and the others," he replied. "But thanks for the suggestion."

Amellia chuckled softly. "Fair enough."

Inside the house, Hunter poured iced tea into glasses while Amina and Omega washed their hands. The kitchen was filled with the sound of their laughter and the clinking of glasses, a stark contrast to the tension that had filled the air just a week before.

Omega took a sip of her iced tea, sighing contentedly. "This is really good," she said, looking up at Hunter with a smile. "Thanks, Hunter."

"You're welcome, kiddo," Hunter replied, ruffling her hair affectionately. "I'm glad you're enjoying it."

---

Amina held a bag over her shoulder, as Hunter leaned against the bedroom doorway, “I don’t like it.” He spoke.

She hid a smile; he was cute when he pouted. "It's just a simple data mission. All I have to do is go to Bira and get the data chip from an inside informant. Bail said it was going to be simple."

Hunter’s frown deepened, his arms crossing over his chest. "Simple or not, I don’t like the idea of you going alone."

Amina walked over to him, placing a hand on his arm. "I’ll be fine, Hunter. I need to do this. It’s important for the Rebellion."

Hunter sighed, his eyes softening as he looked at her. "I know it’s important. I just... worry about you."

Amina leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "I’ll be back before you know it. And you can keep an eye on me through the comms."

He pulled her into a hug, resting his chin on the top of her head. "Just promise me you’ll be careful."

"I promise," Amina whispered, holding him tightly. "I’ll come back to you."

“Maybe you could take Omega.”

Amina pulled back, a look of surprise on her face. “You want me to take Omega?”

Hunter nodded, his expression serious. "Yeah, I think it would be good for both of you. She’s been wanting to help more, and I’d feel better knowing you had someone with you."

Amina considered this for a moment, her mind weighing the pros and cons. "You think she’s ready for this kind of mission?" she asked, her voice tinged with concern.

Hunter sighed, running a hand through his hair. "She’s tougher than she looks. Besides, it’s a simple data retrieval. You can keep her close and teach her a few things along the way."

Amina smiled softly, touched by Hunter’s faith in Omega. "Alright, I’ll take her with me. But you better not worry too much while we’re gone."

Hunter chuckled, though the worry in his eyes remained. "I’ll try not to. Just promise me you’ll both be careful."

Amina placed a reassuring hand on his cheek. "I promise. We’ll be back before you know it."

---

Omega's excitement was palpable as she packed her bag, chattering non-stop about the mission. Amina watched her with a fond smile, appreciating the young girl's enthusiasm.

"You've got everything you need?" Amina asked, checking her own bag one last time.

Omega nodded eagerly. "Yes! I can’t wait to see Bira. And don’t worry, I’ll stay close to you and follow all your instructions."

Amina ruffled Omega's hair. "I know you will. This will be a good experience for you."

As they finished packing, Hunter walked into the room, his eyes focused on Amina and Omega. "Ready to go?"

Amina nodded. "We’re ready."

Hunter pulled Omega into a hug. "Stay safe and listen to Amina, alright?"

Omega hugged him back tightly. "I will, Hunter. Don’t worry."

Turning to Amina, Hunter pulled her into a deep embrace, his lips brushing against her ear. "Come back to me," he whispered.

Amina hugged him tightly, feeling the warmth and strength of his love. "Always," she whispered back.

---

The journey to Bira was uneventful, and they landed the ship without any issues. Amina and Omega stepped out, taking in the bustling marketplace that greeted them.

"Stay close to me," Amina reminded Omega as they navigated through the crowd. "We need to find our contact."

Omega nodded, her eyes wide with curiosity as she took in the sights and sounds of the busy marketplace. "This place is amazing," she said, her voice filled with wonder.

Amina smiled. "It is. But remember, we’re here for a mission. Keep your eyes and ears open." She adjusted Omega’s hood and then her own as they walked through the crowd.

They made their way to a small, nondescript building on the edge of the marketplace. Amina knocked on the door, a series of coded taps that signaled their arrival. The door opened slightly, revealing a cautious pair of eyes.

"Over here," the person behind the door whispered, opening it wider to let them in.

They walked in as Amina’s eyes widened and she took off her hood, “Myc?” She looked at him, one of her former clone troopers in during the Clone Wars.

"General?" Myc's voice was filled with a mixture of disbelief and reverence as he looked at Amina.

Amina stepped forward, her eyes widening with recognition. "Myc," she said, her voice softening. "I never expected to see you here."

Myc stepped back, letting them enter fully before closing the door behind them. "It's been a long time, General," he said, his tone respectful.

Amina smiled, shaking her head slightly. "Please, call me Amina. I'm not a General anymore."

Myc nodded, a faint smile playing on his lips. "Old habits die hard, I guess."

Omega watched the exchange with curiosity, her eyes darting between Amina and Myc. "You two know each other?" she asked, her voice breaking the momentary silence.

Amina nodded, placing a hand on Omega's shoulder. "Myc was one of the clone troopers in my unit during the Clone Wars," she explained. "We fought together in many battles."

Myc's expression softened as he looked at Omega. "And who might you be?" he asked kindly.

"This is Omega," Amina introduced. "She's... a clone.”

Myc's expression shifted from curiosity to recognition, his gaze flickering between Amina and Omega. "A clone?" he repeated, his voice filled with both surprise and understanding. "How did you two find each other?"

Omega, who had been listening intently, stepped closer to Amina, feeling a sense of pride. "The Bad Batch rescued me from Kamino," she explained, her voice steady.

Myc nodded, his expression softening. "It's good to see you're in safe hands, Omega," he said gently. "Amina's always been a great leader and protector."

Amina smiled warmly at Myc, her eyes reflecting gratitude. "Thank you, Myc. It's good to see you too. How did you end up here, collecting data for Bail?"

Myc's expression turned serious, his gaze dropping for a moment. "After the Empire started tightening its grip, I couldn't just stand by and do nothing. Bail and Rex reached out, and I decided to help in any way I could. I've been laying low here on Bira, gathering information and passing it along."

Amina nodded, her respect for Myc growing. "You're doing important work, Myc. We're here to pick up the data chip you have for us."

Myc reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, discreet data chip, handing it to Amina. "Here it is. The information on this chip is important according to Organa. You need to get it to Bail as soon as possible."

Amina took the chip, her fingers closing around it with a sense of determination. "We will. Thank you, Myc."

Omega glanced around the small room, her curiosity getting the better of her. "Is it always this quiet here?" she asked, her voice breaking the tension.

Myc chuckled softly. "Most of the time, yes. Bira is a quiet place, which makes it perfect for undercover work."

Amina placed the data chip securely in her bag and turned to Myc. "We'll be heading back now. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to reach out."

Myc nodded, his eyes filled with gratitude. "Thank you, Amina. And take care of yourself. Both of you."

As they left the building and made their way back to the ship, Omega couldn't help but ask, "Do you think we'll see Myc again?"

Amina glanced down at Omega, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Maybe. The galaxy has a way of bringing people together when they need each other the most."

They entered the hangar, they watched as a large transport shuttle anchored itself on top of their ship, as it started to fly up. “Uh oh.” Omega said. The large shuttle flew away, leaving them in the hangar. “Was that the Empire?”

Amina shook her head, scanning their surroundings for any signs of danger. "No, I don't think so," she replied, her voice tinged with uncertainty. "It looked more like pirates or mercenaries."

Omega's eyes widened with apprehension. "What do we do now?" she asked, her voice tinged with anxiety.

Amina took a deep breath, her mind racing with possibilities. “Well, Gonky was on the ship, right? So, we need to find a way to track him and find a ship to borrow.”

Omega nodded, her eyes wide with apprehension. "But how do we track him?" she asked, her voice tinged with uncertainty. Amina scanned the hangar, searching for any signs of their droid. "Gonky has a tracker built into him," Omega started explained, "I just need to access the tracking frequency from a datapad.”

“So, we just need to find a terminal then.” Amina replied.

They quickly fanned out, scanning the hangar for any sign of a terminal. Amina's heart pounded in her chest as she searched, her senses heightened by the adrenaline coursing through her veins. She spotted a terminal tucked away in a corner and motioned for Omega to join her.

Omega hurried over, her eyes scanning the terminal for any sign of activity. "Do you know how to hack into it?" she asked, her voice eager.

Amina nodded, her fingers flying across the datapad as she accessed the terminal's interface. "I've had some experience with slicing," she admitted, her voice tinged with pride. "But this shouldn't be too difficult. We just need to find Gonky's signal and track him."

Omega watched in awe as Amina worked, her fingers dancing across the datapad with precision and skill. "You're really good at this," she said, her voice filled with admiration.

Amina smiled, her focus unwavering as she accessed Gonky's signal and pinpointed his location. "Got it," she announced, her voice tinged with triumph. "The ship is on the move. Looks like he's headed towards the outskirts of the city.”

Omega's eyes widened with excitement. "Let's go!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with determination.

Amina nodded, her heart pounding with adrenaline as she followed Omega out of the hangar and into the bustling streets of Bira. The city was a vibrant tapestry of colors and sounds, but Amina's focus remained on the task at hand. She kept her senses sharp, alert for any signs of danger as they made their way through the crowded marketplace.

They followed Gonky's signal through the winding streets of Bira, weaving through throngs of people and dodging the occasional speeding hoverbike. Amina's heart raced with anticipation as they drew closer to their destination, her mind focused on the mission ahead.

Finally, they reached the outskirts of the city, where the buildings grew sparser and the sounds of the marketplace faded into the distance. Amina scanned the area, searching for any signs of Gonky's ship. It didn't take long for her to spot it, nestled among a cluster of abandoned buildings on the edge of town.

"There it is," Amina said, her voice quiet yet determined. "Let's move."

They approached the ship cautiously, keeping to the shadows as they closed in on their target. Amina's senses were on high alert, her muscles tensed for any sign of danger. But the area remained eerily quiet, the only sound the distant hum of the city in the distance.

“Is the signal coming from that Venator?” Omega asked.

Amina looked down at her datapad, “yeah, looks like it. Maybe the mercenaries took our ship and gave it to the Empire. We need to be careful. We don't know who's on that ship or what their intentions are."

Omega nodded, her gaze flickering between Amina and the ship. "Got it. So, what's the plan?"

Amina glanced around the deserted area, searching for any signs of activity. "We need to find a way onto that ship without being detected," she explained, her mind racing with possibilities. "Let's see if we can find a maintenance hatch or something similar."

They approached the ship cautiously, staying low to the ground and keeping to the shadows. Amina's senses were on high alert, her heart pounding with adrenaline as they searched for a way onto the ship.

"There!" Omega whispered, pointing to a small maintenance hatch near the base of the ship.

Amina nodded in agreement, her eyes narrowing with determination. "Good eye, Omega. Let's see if we can pry it open."

They worked together to open the maintenance hatch, the metal creaking softly as it gave way. Amina peered inside, her heart pounding in her chest as she assessed the situation.

"It looks clear," she whispered to Omega. "Let's go."

They slipped inside the maintenance hatch, careful not to make any noise as they navigated through the dark and cramped passageways. Amina's heart raced with each step, her senses heightened by the tension of the moment.

As they made their way deeper into the ship, Amina couldn't shake the feeling of unease that gnawed at her. She knew they were walking into unknown territory, with no way of knowing what awaited them on the other side.

Suddenly, they heard voices up ahead, the sound echoing through the narrow corridors of the ship. Amina motioned for Omega to stay quiet as they crept closer, their footsteps barely making a sound on the metal grating beneath their feet.

Peering around the corner, Amina spotted a group of mercenaries gathered in a nearby chamber. They were talking and laughing, their voices echoing off the walls of the ship.

"We need to find our ship and get out of here," Amina whispered to Omega, her voice urgent yet controlled. "Stay close to me and follow my lead."

They moved silently through the corridors, their senses alert for any sign of danger. Amina's heart pounded in her chest as they drew closer to their destination, the tension mounting with each passing moment.

They entered the small hangar where their Rho-class shuttle sat. The doors closed behind them as a hissing sound hilled the hangar.

“What’s that?” Omega asked.

“Omega, get on the ship!” Amina ordered, as gas filled the hangar. Omega quickly opened the ship, and climbed up the staircase, grabbing a face mask from a crate on the ship.

By the time she found a second one, she walked to the doorway and found Amina on the ground, passed out, “Amina!”

---

Obi-Wan turned around, walking to the ship as Anakin spoke, “Obi-Wan.” He turned towards Anakin, “may the Force be with you.”

“Good-bye, old friend. May the Force be with you.”

“Wait!” Amina called out, running towards the two, “you were going to leave without saying goodbye, Obi-Wan? I can’t believe you!” She playfully teased.

Obi-Wan turned back, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he regarded the young woman. "My apologies, Amina," he said, his voice warm with affection. "You know how it is with Jedi and their sudden departures."

Anakin chuckled beside him, a hint of mischief glinting in his eyes as he glanced at Amina. "Don't worry, Amina," he said, his tone teasing, "I'm sure Obi-Wan was just eager to get away from my constant chatter."

Amina rolled her eyes playfully, a grin spreading across her face. "As if you could ever be that annoying, Anakin," she retorted, her voice laced with mock indignation. "But seriously, Obi-Wan," she continued, her tone softening, "take care of yourself out there. And may the Force be with you."

Obi-Wan's smile softened, his gaze turning solemn as he regarded Amina. "Thank you, Amina," he said, his voice filled with gratitude. "May the Force be with you.”

---

Amina woke with a start, sitting up straight in bed. She patted the bed, the sheets different than the ones at home as she looked around the unfamiliar, but at the same time familiar, room.

Her lightsaber was on the bedside table as she grabbed it and entered the hallway. “Omega?” She called out. “Omega!” She ran through the warm halls, pushing open every door, “Omega!”

"Omega!" Amina called out again, her voice echoing through the quiet corridors. But there was no response, only the sound of her own rapid breaths filling the air. She rounded a corner, running down the hall, “Omega, honey!”

Amina's heart pounded in her chest as she sprinted through the corridors of the building, her mind racing with worry for Omega. Each step echoed loudly in the silence, her senses on high alert for any sign of danger.

"Omega!" she called out again, desperation creeping into her voice. But there was still no response, only the oppressive silence of the empty halls. Amina skidded around another corner, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she pushed herself to go faster.

She entered a large dining room, where a figure in all black stood looking out of the window. Amina turned on her lightsaber and twirled it in her hand, “where is Ome- ” The figure turned around as familiar mechanical breathing filled the silence.

“Amina.” He spoke.

"Don't patronize me. Where is Omega?" Amina's voice crackled with anger as she faced the figure in black, her grip tightening around her lightsaber.

The figure regarded her with a cool detachment, his mask hiding any expression that might betray his emotions. "Omega is safe,” he replied.

“Where is she?” Amina asked again.

“I’m right here.” Omega said from behind, waving a hand.

Amina kneeled down, her lightsaber turned off in her hand as she patted Omega’s shoulders and face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. He saved you! The gas filled the hangar before I brought you your mask and then he showed up and flew the ship here.”

Amina stood up and turned towards Vader, who had taken a couple steps closer to her and Omega. “Why? Why did you do that?”

His mechanical breathing filled the air, “did you receive my gift?”

She blinked in response, “the toy?”

“Yes.” Vader regarded her with an intensity that sent a shiver down Amina's spine. His presence was suffocating, his towering figure casting a shadow over the room.

"What do you want from me?" Amina asked, her voice tinged with defiance.

“Nothing, sister. I felt your presence for the first time in over a year, and you were in danger. I saved you.”

"Why now?" Amina asked, her voice tinged with frustration. "Why reach out to me after all this time? After everything you and the Emperor did.”

Vader's gaze softened, his mask betraying a hint of sorrow. "I have made many mistakes in my life, Amina," he admitted, his voice heavy with regret. "But I cannot undo the past. All I can do is try to make amends where I can."

"What kind of amends?" Amina asked, her voice soft yet guarded. She couldn't afford to trust Vader too easily, not after all they had been through.

Vader took a step closer to Amina, his imposing figure casting a shadow over her. "I will lead you to your ship,” he stated, his voice resonating with authority as he began to move past them, his steps heavy and deliberate.

"Stay close, Omega," Amina whispered, her voice a quiet reassurance as they followed Vader through the corridors his castle on Mustafar. She didn’t realize she was back here since she was so focused on finding Omega.

They emerged into a vast hangar bay, the sleek silhouette of their Rho-class shuttle standing out against the dimly lit surroundings. Amina's heart skipped a beat at the sight of their ship, relief flooding through her at the prospect of finally escaping this place.

"Thank you, Vader," Amina said, her voice laced with gratitude as she turned to face him. Despite everything, she couldn't deny the debt of gratitude she owed him for saving her and Omega.

Omega ran onto the ship as Vader regarded her with a nod, his mask betraying no hint of emotion as he watched them. "You must leave quickly," he stated, his voice a low rumble that reverberated through the hangar. Amina nodded, turning around as he spoke again, “Lucky.”

Amina paused, her heart clenching at Anakin’s nickname for her. She turned around looking at him without saying a word.

“May the Force be with you.” He said.

Amina took a few steps closer to him before lunging at him, wrapping her arms around his waist, even with the bulky suit of armor and chest plate poking her.

As Amina wrapped her arms around Vader's waist, she felt a rush of conflicting emotions coursing through her veins. Here was the man who had once been her brother, her friend, now encased in a suit of black armor, a living symbol of the atrocities committed by the Empire. Yet, despite everything, she couldn't deny the flicker of warmth she still felt towards him, buried beneath layers of pain and betrayal.

Vader stood frozen for a moment, his mechanical breathing the only sound in the hangar bay. Then, slowly, almost hesitantly, he raised one gloved hand and rested it on Amina's back, returning her embrace with a gentle pressure.

As they stood there, locked in an embrace that spoke volumes of their shared history, Amina couldn't help but wonder what might have been if things had been different. If Anakin had never fallen to the dark side, if they had never been torn apart by war and betrayal. But she pushed those thoughts aside, knowing that dwelling on the past would only bring more pain.

Finally, Vader pulled away, his masked face betraying no hint of the emotions that surely lay beneath the surface. "Go," he said, his voice a low rumble that reverberated through the hangar. "You must leave before the Emperor discovers you are here.”

Amina gave a slow nod, her hand coming up to his helmet’s cheek and looked through the lenses, “no matter what happens, I know that there’s good in you. I want you to remember that.”

Vader regarded her through the lenses of his mask, his mechanical breathing the only sound in the hangar bay.

Then, slowly, almost imperceptibly, Vader inclined his head in a nod of acknowledgment. It was a small gesture, but to Amina, it spoke volumes. It was a sign that perhaps, just perhaps, her words had reached him, that there was still hope for redemption, even for someone as lost as Vader.

But before Amina could dwell any further on the moment, a sense of urgency swept over her. They had to leave, to escape before the Emperor discovered their presence on Mustafar. With a final nod to Vader, Amina turned on her heel and made her way back to their Rho-class shuttle, where Omega was waiting anxiously.

As Amina stood at the top of the ramp, her heart heavy with conflicting emotions, she couldn't shake the feeling of finality that hung in the air. She glanced back over her shoulder at the imposing figure of Darth Vader, his masked visage betraying no hint of the man he once was, the man she once called brother.

"Goodbye, Anakin," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the hum of the ship's engines.

Vader remained silent for a moment, his mechanical breathing the only sound in the hangar bay. Then, in a voice tinged with sorrow and regret even through his vocoder, he spoke.

"Goodbye, Amina."

With a heavy heart, Amina turned away from Vader and made her way into the cockpit of the shuttle. Omega was already seated in the co-pilot's chair, her expression a mixture of concern and relief as she watched Amina approach.

"Everything okay?" Omega asked, her voice soft with worry.

Amina gave her a reassuring smile as she settled into the pilot's seat. "Yeah, everything's fine," she replied, her voice steady despite the turmoil raging inside her. "Let's get out of here."

With practiced ease, Amina powered up the shuttle's engines and guided it out of the hangar bay. As they soared into the night sky, leaving Mustafar and Vader's castle behind them, Amina couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over her.

She inputted the coordinates for Alderaan as they entered hyperspace, the blue and white lights shining into the cockpit.

“Amina?” Omega said.

“Yes?”

"Why did Vader save us? Is it because you're his sister?" Omega's voice was filled with curiosity, her eyes searching Amina's for an explanation.

Amina took a deep breath, “I guess so. He didn’t seem to have any ulterior motives.” She turned the chair to look over at the girl, “how about you get some rest? We have a few hours before we get to Alderaan.”

Omega nodded and went into the hull to get some sleep as Amina turned her head to the window of the ship.

---

Hunter sat at the table, his hand twisting the comm.

Echo scoffed, taking a drink of water as he stood in the kitchen, “what’s up with him?”

“He’s brooding.” Crosshair responded.

“I am not brooding.” Hunter added in, turning around on the couch to face his two brothers.

Echo smirked, “look at that. He is.”

Hunter shot his brother a glare, but it lacked any real heat. "I am not brooding," he insisted, though his tone lacked conviction.

Crosshair leaned against the kitchen counter, his arms folded across his chest. "Sure looks like it to me," he remarked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Hunter let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I just can't shake the feeling that something's off," he admitted, his voice tinged with concern. "Amina and Omega have been gone longer than expected."

Echo's expression softened, a flicker of understanding passing through his eyes. "They'll be fine, Hunter," he said reassuringly. "Amina knows how to take care of herself, and Omega's a quick learner. They'll be back before you know it."

The front door opened as Amellia and Wrecker entered the house, “we brought lunch!” Wrecker announced.

“Nerfsteak sandwiches from Milo’s.” Amellia said. The two of them walked into the kitchen where Echo and Crosshair stood. Echo noticed as Crosshair’s eyes followed Amellia before looking at him.

“What?” Crosshair asked, his toothpick in his hand.

“Nothing.” Echo responded.

Echo's comment hung in the air for a moment, a subtle tension settling between him and Crosshair. The latter shrugged nonchalantly, his expression carefully neutral as he glanced away.

"Alright, let's eat," Hunter said, rising from the couch with a determined air. He pushed aside his lingering concerns about Amina and Omega for the time being, focusing instead on the present moment.

---

Amina landed the ship into the cove on Pabu as Omega cheerfully got off the ship. They had successfully handed Bail the data chip with the information on Alderaan and now were back home.

They went to the house as Amina and Omega stepped inside, their presence drawing the attention of the rest of the group. Amina's heart skipped a beat as she caught sight of Hunter, her husband, sitting at the table. Despite everything they had been through, seeing him always brought a sense of calm and reassurance.

"We're back," Amina announced, her voice filled with a mixture of relief and excitement.

Hunter's expression softened as he caught sight of Amina, a wave of relief washing over him. "Good to see you both," he said, rising from his seat and crossing the room to greet them.

Amina smiled as Hunter enveloped her in a warm hug, his arms strong and comforting around her. "It's good to be back," she murmured, her voice barely audible over the hum of conversation in the room.

Omega grinned as she watched the reunion, a sense of warmth flooding through her at the sight of her family together again. Despite the dangers they faced on their missions, moments like these made it all worth it.

apparently i just love torturing my characters… but i can promise that things will get better for amina!!

tags: @callsign-denmark

[dadddybangtan]

Suck Torture | 23🩸

Back Table of Contents

cw: d**th by mvrder & su!c!de, violence

word count: 3k

a.n. this is the final chapter of suck torture. this fic is not (yet) a popular hit, but it’s definitely a major accomplishment for me. for eight months, i dedicated my free time to writing an elaborate multi-fandom vampire fanfic with light witchcraft, lighter werewolf lore, angst, fluff, smut, a polycule… and i couldn’t be more proud of the result. thank you for reading this roller coaster of a story. please share and leave feedback <3

My mother told me to pack my belongings to go into hiding. But I couldn't think of anything worth bringing. Without my father, my sister, or my brother, it felt so wrong to leave. It felt so wrong to leave Beomgyu and Taehyun behind. Somehow I was fine with leaving over one hundred years worth of memories in this house.

That's not the only thing that felt wrong. Everything felt wrong. I was empty and void of any positive feeling. I found myself in the darkness of the tower again, scaling the walls and pacing away my thoughts.

I couldn't believe we were going into hiding again. I couldn't believe it was the fault of my family. My mother doesn't deserve that. Maybe Yeji was right to leave.

"Hyunjin," My mother said, standing at the doorway, "I thought you'd be here. How are you feeling?"

"I don't know, mom. I don't want to go into hiding again."

"Neither do I. But we have to if we want to live."

"I'm so sorry. About dad, Niki, Yeji... I feel like I've failed you."

"It's okay, Hyunjin. We're a few years away from location rotation anyway."

Location rotation is a tradition vampires invented to see different vampire cities throughout our lifetime. There were a few cities in each country or state with vampire safe zones. We'd stay there for about a hundred years or so then move again.

But location rotation wasn't the same as hiding in the slightest. Location rotation always provided a safe space. There is no safe space when you're hiding.

"Right, I forgot about that."

"I know why you feel the way you do. And I understand that I can't change that for you," She said, "All I can tell you with utmost virtue, Hyunjin, is that I love you no matter what happens. Until the sun burns us all."

And that meant everything to me. I realized that it was wrong for me to mope about going into hiding without my dad, my siblings or Beomgyu. My mother, the woman who turned herself to give me life, is all I needed. I couldn't say that I loved this life with honesty. But it was an honor to live it from her.

"I love you too, mom," I ran to her and hugged her, "Until the sun burns out."

Her hold was warm, not in the way Beomgyu's was. It wasn't physically warm, but emotionally. Her warmth was simply maternal. Safe.

A loud crash of the tower window stripped the safety from the room. My mother flinched beneath me and I protected her against any falling debris. When I was certain that glass wasn't coming down anymore, I looked over my shoulder to find the most terrifying pair I'd ever seen in my life: a blood-coated Niki and a Felix on his back.

"What have you done?" I whispered under my breath.

"Niki?" Mother gasped, putting her hand over her mouth, "He looks so–."

"Mom, you have to get out of here."

"That's my son." She cried, eyes welling up with tears.

I nudged her out of the door and shut it behind me.

"That's not your son. There's not a hint of Niki left in that demon mom. He's gone."

"But–."

"Listen to me–." I held her by her delicate shoulders.

"Come on, Hyunjin. It's just your brother and I. Don't be scared of us." Felix's voice boomed through the wooden door.

"I know you're strong enough without me, that you're stronger than me. But I'm the last man standing. I got us into this, the least I can do is protect you through this."

"Hyunjin..."

"Go, mom," I begged, "Now."

She didn't want to, but she hugged me one last time, tightly squeezing my shoulders before whispering, "Until the sun burns out."

She raced down the stairs after giving me one more reaffirming look.

I opened the door behind me and Felix was steady on the floor while Niki was flying near the open ceiling.

"Felix, why are you here with Niki?"

"Isn't it obvious," Felix asked, walking towards me in slow steps, "Niki did a killing spree starting with half the council and continuing with six humans. You know I have family on the council."

Fuck. I felt myself subconsciously stepping back the closer Felix got, glancing up at Niki every so often.

"That's right. See if you had just married me, this wouldn't have happened. Niki would've been safe."

The door bursted open behind me and in came Beomgyu and Taehyun.

"Beomgyu?"

"Felix."

"Oh, of course Beomgyu's here and he's a fucking vampire," Felix yelled, "You really turned a pathetic human into a vampire instead of just marrying a real one. God, maybe I really dodged the bullet."

"Felix," I gulped, my brain worked overtime to resolve this quickly without it getting worse, "My mother and I are going into hiding. I suggest you do too. If you come with me, will you promise not to hurt Beomgyu and Taehyun?"

He just scoffed, coming to me in a flash. He was so dangerously close to me that his breath tickled my neck. I didn't want to be near him ever again after what happened at the apartment. So for him to be that close sickened me.

"I was never going to hurt your precious toys. That's Niki's job now," Felix said lowly, "However, I do find it funny that because Niki is my toy, you now see the value in having me around. I thought I was just an obsessive vampire."

"You are," I cut in, "But you're right. You were always right. And something in my head always knew, but I didn't listen. If there's a chance to show you that I'm sorry, I'd like to take it."

"I've waited quite patiently for you to say those words to me. I'm almost tempted to say yes. But I'm no longer in love with you, Hyunjin," He said, "I have new plans. And they aren't centered around you or love. Just me and power. And while I'm in power, you won't need to go into hiding."

In the blink of an eye, Beomgyu jumped in front of me and sent Felix flying across the room. He resorted to his bat state to prevent his fall, turning back when he came closer to the ground.

"Beomgyu's right. No more talking," Felix growled, "Niki, remember the one who abandoned us? Sick 'im."

As Niki used his demonic strength to attack me, I held my already wounded arms in front of my face. Part of me wanted to see my brother in that monster. The other part remembered what I had just told my mother. Niki was gone and I had to treat him like the monster he was.

Kicked him in his chest, which only deterred him a little bit. His claws continued to maul me. I had to find the power in me to overthrow him. It felt impossible until I saw Beomgyu in the corner of my eye with Felix stalking behind him. He could protect himself, but he just got those powers. There was no telling if he'd survive Felix again.

I toppled Niki, holding his neck under my arm and reaching behind him to tug at his wings. I pulled hard and it felt like they weren't budging. But when I heard Niki's ear splitting shriek, I knew I did some damage.

So I kept pulling until I heard a tear. That tear drove him insane, flying wildly for a few seconds before becoming stable on his feet again. With his back turned to me, I noticed the wing beginning to heal itself. So I attacked again at my highest speed. I pulled hard at his wings with my feet to his back. If I could immobilize him, it was the start to defeating him. My palms began to bleed and my arms were getting weak, but I'd finally stripped him of his wings.

"No." Felix shouted.

His deafening shrieks filled the room as he fell to his knees. He looked back at me, red eyes flickering in defeat. Kill me and I'll thank you, I read before his eyes went fully red again. My heart ached.

"Beomgyu, help me hold him down," I shouted, but he didn't move, "Hurry."

"What if I'm not strong enough?"

"You're just as strong as me, now come on."

I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards me only for him to be stopped in place. On the other side of him was Felix, grabbing onto him as well. Beomgyu kicked Felix to the other side of the room and sent him plastered to the wall.

It was a terrible time to have those thoughts, but Beomgyu's new powers were truly remarkable.

Niki was on his stomach, squirming and bleeding from his back. I had his right side while Beomgyu had his left.

"We have to extract his vampire blood." I said quietly.

"I-I can't."

"You have to or we all die."

"But–." The smell of fear and discomfort coated him. I felt bad, but we had no other choice.

"Please, it'll only take a second if we both do it." I said as Niki started to regain strength, uprooting us from our hold on him.

Beomgyu swallowed hard and opened his mouth, fangs pointed and ready. He shut his eyes and plunged his teeth into Niki's neck.

"Taehyun," I shouted, "You have to cast an exorcism spell on Niki."

"What?"

"No." Felix shouted.

There was no time to answer him, I had to bite Niki and help Beomgyu. I sank my teeth into his neck and let his bitter blood rage down my throat. I felt him become weaker and weaker. But not completely.

"Taehyun, please you're the only one who can." I said, letting up on Niki's neck for a moment.

"I don't know how."

I silently pleaded with him to try. Try to kill the demon inside. It was beyond my control and the only solution I could fathom.

"You will if you try."

I wasn't certain about witch's abilities. But I felt that if something was in his blood, he'd know how to use it if he had to. Like when Taehyun opened the door at the party. I was aware how unlocking a door and exercising a demon were considerably different. But I had faith in Taehyun, I had to.

Soon, all of his vampiric blood was drained from his body. He was completely limp once Beomgyu and I let up on him. Except for the violent spasms he randomly got. That must've been the demon in him.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Felix taunting Taehyun. He was clenching and unclenching his fists, unprepared for Felix's menacing presence.

His physique didn't allow Felix to affect him much, but it still caught him off guard. But as Felix's blood thirsty fangs inched closer to Taehyun's neck, his defense slowly withered.

The second I ran to him was the second Felix bit him. The light in his eyes drained so quickly. It broke me.

But it didn't break Beomgyu, as he ran to him and tore Felix off of Taehyun. He wasn't aware of his strength. I could tell since he sent Felix flying into me. He grunted in pain.

"This is how it was supposed to be." He muttered.

"What are you on about?"

"Them two and us two," He said lowly, "But it doesn't matter now, I don't care."

He pushed me into the floor, causing my body to sink in the floorboards.

"No, Felix, I think you care a lot," I flipped over my head and into the floor as well, "I think you care more than you should."

"So what if I do?" He charged at me again.

He swung his arms at my head, but I dodged every blow. I got him in the chest one time and that knocked him back a few steps. That's when he clocked me in my jaw, slightly dislocating my neck. My head was turned a tad out of origin. As it slowly popped back into place, I grabbed his arm and threw him into the wall behind us. He fell to the floor, leaving the silhouette of his body engraved on that spot in the wall.

"Damn, fighting you is almost as exhilarating as making love to you." He gasped, looking up at me with blood filling his eyes.

Something about him being close to death froze me in place. Though I didn't want to spend my life with Felix, I didn't want to see him dead.

"You're insane." I said.

"Maybe. But at least I didn't doom vampires to shit." He was beginning to lift himself up, smiling and gearing up to attack again. But I ran to him and pounded his head into the ground.

He didn't recover from that.

"Come on, Tae," I heard Beomgyu in the distance. I raced over to his side, "I have to turn him or he's gonna die."

"If you're too scared, I can do it."

"No, I want to do it, I just," He breathed out nervously, "Don't know how."

"Bite into your wrist," I said and he hesitated, "Quickly, before you're out of time."

I heard the sound of his skin coming undone, smell his husky woodland blood. There were still traces of human blood in him. It was beautiful. He was beautiful.

"Let him feed on you." I instructed.

Beomgyu lifted Taehyun's head into his lap and put his wrist to Taehyun's mouth. Both of us were desperately hoping it wasn't too late.

"It's not working." Beomgyu panicked.

"Just wait."

Just then, I saw Taehyun's adam's apple bob in his throat.

"He swallowed," I said, "Don't stop."

His beautifully tan skin slowly became pale. The brown in his hair became richer and fuller. It was working. His eyelids opened slowly, revealing alluring deep red retinas. The look of our kind isn't natural looking at all, but it suited him. I put my hand to his face and his hand met mine.

"You turned me?" He asked.

"I needed to protect you. Even if–." Beomgyu started.

Taehyun sat up and kissed Beomgyu. They caressed each other so lovingly. They seemed insufferable, but Taehyun hugged me tightly too.

Thank you.

"I love you." Beomgyu said.

"I love you too." He said, looking deeply into Beomgyu's eyes. He looked to me too, eyebrows twitching together.

No words could express his gratitude or his love for the both of us. And after all the turmoil, I was glad to at least see him so happy.

"Would you go find my mom and check on her please," I asked him, "She's probably worried."

"Of course." He said, racing to the door of the tower.

"Wait." Beomgyu said quietly.

Taehyun raced back to Beomgyu's side.

"Yes?"

"Take this." Beomgyu said as he took his hand and pushed his beaded bracelet onto Taehyun's wrist, "I want you to have it."

"Thank you." He said swiftly before going to the door again and leaving.

"Now he'll be okay." Beomgyu muttered to himself.

"What do you mean?"

He just looked up at the broken ceiling. The sky was dark blue, slowly emerging to a brighter blue. He stood up, jumped and transformed into his bat form. He was a natural. He flew up and out of the tower. I followed him.

He settled in the garden in the backyard, standing and staring at the greenery.

"It's enchanting."

"It's more enchanting in spring. But we won't be here to see it," I said, "And there's no gardeners to maintain it. Maybe you will since you're not coming."

"I won't see it either."

"So you are coming with us?" The hint of hope in my voice sounded uncharacteristic.

"I didn't say that."

"Don't be so cryptic, Beomgyu," He avoided my eyes, but also wasn't looking at anything in particular, "What're you doing?"

He looked up at the sky without answering me. The sky that only became brighter by the second.

"Beomgyu, I think we should go inside..."

"I love you, Hyunjin. And thanks for giving me the chance to save Taehyun," He said calmly, "I'm not so mad at you anymore."

"I'm elated to hear that, Beomgyu," I pressed, anxiously looking at the sky and sensing the sunrise from the corner of my eye, "But we really should go inside."

"Do you regret meeting me?"

"I've been alive for hundreds of years, but I've never felt more alive than in the month that I've known you. I could never regret meeting you."

"Even if everything fell apart."

"I'd never blame you for any of this."

"Okay. Then I can go in peace."

"Go where? Beomgyu, what're you talking about?"

Then he finally looked at me, eyes wet and pleading. His brain was quiet for the first time. Completely silent with no overlapping thoughts. Without any clouds to block it, rays of sunshine began to peak through the trees. We were barely dodging them.

That's when I finally understood. I watched a ray of sunshine chase Beomgyu's skin and before it hit him, I grabbed his hand. I had no intentions to move him. I had every intention to stay right there.

I told my mother that I'll love her until the sun burns out. I told Beomgyu I'd love him forever. I will. I promise I will.

Relief washed over my body as the warmth of the winter sun met my skin. My dermas crystalized and stung, but I loved it. It was like receiving a hug from Beomgyu. Before I turned him.

I wished Niki peace in his after life, even if he was damned to hell. I hoped Felix was set free from whatever made him so obsessive. I wished happiness for Yeji in America. And justice for Father's trial, whatever that may be. I prayed that Mother and Taehyun will remain safe while in hiding. And that they wouldn't have to hide for long.

Until the sun burns out, until the sun burns me. I love you.

[starspray]

11, 17, 23

Thanks for the ask!!

11. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

Just yesterday I finished The Leafless Winter, which I started thinking I could write both parts in a matter of days or weeks. Joke's on me: it took over a year to figure out why the second part wasn't working. But now it's finished and I'm actually really pleased with how it came out!

17. What were your go-to writing snacks?

Goldfish are probably my number one. I will also bribe myself with cookies on a semi-regular basis. It mostly works!

23. Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out?

Here's the paragraph that had me hung up on Leafless Winter for so long:

Elwing grew so used to solitude that she was shocked the morning that she stepped out into the garden and found another person there—a man, seated cross-legged on the pale grass beneath one of the slender mallorn trees that grew there. A few leaves had fallen, and he held one in his hands, twirling it gently by its stem. It glinted in the sunshine like the golden threads woven through his dark braids. Elwing knew Fingon by sight, of course, though they had been introduced only briefly after he had returned from Mandos and she had happened to be in Tirion. Upon seeing her he rose and bowed. They exchanged polite greetings and pleasantries, dancing around the natural curiosities of why the other was there at Nienna’s house.

The problem was that I knew I wanted Elwing to meet someone while at Nienna's home (someone other than Gandalf-as-Olorin, anyway), but for the longest time I could not make any other character work, so I had the first part of the first sentence for months on end. For a while I thought maybe Aredhel, but I couldn't make her work, and then I couldn't think of anyone at all. Then I started working on another fic about Fingon's wife, and that got Fingon on the brain, and since he was close in friendship with his cousin Maedhros, the figure who looms largest and most monstrous in Elwing's story, that seemed fitting. Once I had that figured out the rest of the chapter was pretty smooth sailing.

[casspurrjoybell-17]

Heart’s Choice - Chapter 23 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

"Well, this is it," Mrs. Sparks says, unlocking the door of the little shed and waving her hand at the cramped interior.

"Knock yourselves out."

She leaves us to it, shuffling back up the gravel path to the back door of the house and disappearing within.

John and I share a look.

I'd been imagining an office straight out of some old timey, noir detective film, complete with filing cabinets, a rotary phone and a lamp with a green shade.

Instead, Daryl's office looks lifted from an Ikea floor display.

There's a cheap desk, a chair and a straight-from-the-box desktop PC.

"Fuck," John swears as he turns on the computer and is immediately confronted with a sign-in screen. "You think the wife knows where he kept his passwords?"

"Why don't you ask her? She seems to like you."

John frowns at me over his shoulder.

"I think you'd have better luck. She was checking you out the whole time I was talking to her."

I scoff.

"Yeah, right. She couldn't take her eyes off you."

"Were we talking to the same woman?"

"Hasn't gotten dressed in a week, looks like she needs a spa day and a long vacation?"

"That's the one."

"Hmm."

I hadn't thought she even glanced at me.

"You're not, um..." John coughs awkwardly. "You're not bisexual, are you?"

"What? Fuck no. I'm bent as a boomerang."

"Oh. Good. I mean, not 'good' but..."

A light cough makes us both jump and I look over my shoulder to see that Mrs. Sparks has returned.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you boys. I just thought you might want the password. It's BigDickEnergy. He wished."

She laughs and waves a glass of Chardonnay.

It's barely past noon.

"Can I get you boys a drink?"

"Ah, no. We're on the clock," John says, with admirable ease.

Mrs. Sparks scoffs.

"Never stopped Daryl. Stupid shit. I told him not to get involved. There was just something bad about this one, you know?"

John and I share a look.

"Mrs. Sparks..."

"Please, call me Pearl."

"Pearl. What do you know about your husband's last case?"

She smiles.

"What do I know? Better question is what don't I know. I did most of the work, anyway. Daryl was too lazy. Plus, he didn't like to talk to people and what you need in a business like this is to talk to people. That's what I did. The talking."

She takes a gulp of wine and looks from John to me, waiting for the next question.

"Who hired him?" I ask.

"Dunno. Some chick. Brianna, I think her name was."

I cast a glance at John.

"That's Kyle's ex-girlfriend. She was at his funeral."

Pearl nods.

"That's right. Kyle. She wanted Daryl to investigate her boy's death. Said he was murdered and she knew who did it, just didn't have proof."

"Who? I mean, who did she say did it?"

Pearl narrows her eyes at us, leaning forward with one hand planted against the doorframe and her wineglass in the other.

"Some punk Kyle knew from high school. They robbed a store together and Kyle got left holding the bag. Apparently, the other kid was the ringleader but he talked Kyle into taking the fall. Convinced him they were best buds or something and promised he'd have Kyle's share waiting for him with interest when he got out of Juvie. Well, Kyle got out all right but there was no share waiting for him. So the girlfriend figures Kyle threatened to expose this other guy as the criminal he is and the other guy killed him for it."

"This other guy, he got a name?" John asks.

"Yeah. Something Spanish. Alejandro or something."

"Alejo?" I suggest.

"That's it," Pearl points her wineglass at me, splashing me with Chardonnay. "Oops. Sorry."

"Did you tell all this to the police who interviewed you before?" John asks, brows furrowed.

Pearl shrugs easily.

"No. But they didn't ask."

*********

"I like her," I decide, as John hands me a bag full of fast food and a knockoff iced mocha.

Sadly, we'd decided to skip the diner in the interest of speed.

John wanted to get back to Spring Lakes ASAP.

He glances at me, eyes catching the light and gleaming gold before fading back to a forest medley of brown and green.

"Me, too. She's right, you know. Talking to people is a skill and whoever interviewed her clearly didn't have it in spades."

"Or they just caught her before she started on the Chardonnay."

John snorts.

"Or that. Either way, we got what we came for. SCPD will collect his computer and scrape it for data but I think Pearl gave us the goods."

"Alejo." I shudder. "God, I can't believe I went out with that guy."

As naturally as if he's done it a million times, John reaches over and takes my hand.

"Hey, once we get him, this nightmare will end and you can get back to your life."

I extract my hand from his carefully, and he withdraws his touch with a hitch in his breath.

"Yeah. Back to normal," I say.

Neither of us speaks again for the rest of the drive, until we pull up in front of John's house and see the front door wide open.

"What the fuck? Carlos, stay here."

John jumps out, drawing his weapon from his side holster and slinking up the steps with the masculine grace of an action hero.

Disregarding his orders, I follow, albeit at a careful distance.

At the door, John feints to the side, pressing his back against the outer wall, weapon held close to his chest.

Spotting me, he mouths something and makes some sort of military command gesture I don't understand.

"What? John, just..."

With a fury of delighted barks, Rick and Morty come pelting out of the open door and circle me, nipping at me playfully.

I laugh and drop to a crouch to welcome them with hugs and snuggles, instantly relieved but John remains tense as a soldier in combat.

He falls back from his position at the door and draws me to my feet, shielding me with his body as if from some imminent threat.

"Fuck," John swears under his breath, chest heaving, as a shadow appears in the arch of the door. "I didn't think he'd actually come."

I squint over his shoulder and the shadow resolves itself into the shape of a man.

From what I can tell, he's tall, and pale and Michelangelesque.

Still shielding me, John addresses him fittingly.

"David..."

"Well," the man says, looking between the two of us. "I came as fast as I could but alas, it seems I am, nonetheless, too late. Congratulations, John. You have found your match."

[i-fondued]

Please ignore my whining I need to organize my thoughts and this is a place without irl people 🙃

So good-ish news? I got the second job I was going for. But like...I already work like 45 hours a week at my current job and I'm always exhausted as it is. But like we desperately need more income coming in till my husband graduates in late January/early February. It's also retail pharmacy which I swore I wouldn't go back to especially after covid but like I asked for 25 an hour and they didn't even bat an eyelash. Meanwhile I'm making 23 an hour with 4x the responsibilities currently at my full time job.

Which is also miserable honestly, like I LOVE my job so much but management is just fucking awful and they care about the money and couldn't care less about patient care. I even told my husband I was tempted to see if the retail pharmacy would give me full time hours and I'd just go back to retail but like physically I don't think I could go back to patient facing anymore ahaha.

I'm just restless and apathetic; my therapist said it sounds like I'm having a midlife crisis which is hilarious cause I'm not even 30 yet. Like it's the episode of SpongeBob where squidward slowly gets depressed living in his little perfect community. That's me, I'm just slowly melting. Like I'm making 4x what my mom made when she was my age and I'm struggling even more than she was. It's not fair.

Then my mom and my aunt have the audacity to be like oh well Laurel is sick and you wouldn't send her to a normal daycare if she was sick. Like...yes I would??? She doesn't have a temp, she's just got a drippy nose and a gross cough? We can't give her anything for any of it, we just have to wait it out. My fucking mother was like "I NEVER would have sent you out when you were this sick". Um. Yeah because when I was 2 and a 1/2 YOU DIDNT WORK. YOU STAYED HOME WITH ME TILL I STARTED SCHOOL AND WE WERE A ONE INCOME HOUSEHOLD AND SO INCREDIBLY POOR. Like if my mom didn't have her siblings idk where we would have ended up.

I'm sorry I have to go to work?? To provide for my children?? TO BE ABLE TO PAY MY AUNT TO WATCH THE CHILDREN YOU ARE BOTH COMPLAINING ABOUT HAVING WHILE THEY ARE SICK??? Like if I don't go to work just one day, I miss out on an entire bill and we fall behind and we are one bad week away from falling too far behind and loosing everything. I'm so frustrated about the whole situation I was so angry I almost started crying in anger when I was trying to keep calm when my aunt was making comments.

Not to mention, I almost started crying at work over all the stress of having 2 people out, the phone nonstop ringing, and just useless coworkers. I'm stretched thin, and the only thing bringing me joy is writing. I wish I could be good enough to publish, to make my stories get out there and make the work I've put into then bring me money back. Something that brings me joy instead of stress.

My friend suggested I start a patreon and start posting chapters a day early for people who pledge a dollar or more; or have exclusive stories posted on there for people to get early access to but like...idk. it feels kinda weird to do for fanfiction, and like it's not really about money for me. I just want to be able to share these things with people who enjoy them with me? But like if I had an extra 50 or even 100 a month from it, that covers a single bill which makes a difference for our little family.

Idk I'm just rambling now, I'm just in a weird mental state I think. I have my period which I'm sure is making me more emotional too. I just want to be able to be rewarded for how hard I work and how much I care about these patients and I feel like my boss is actually punishing me instead. Healthcare can be so rewarding for someone like me but it can also be a hellscape because the US doesn't have universal healthcare.

Anyways I'm fine 🙂

[kenkaodoll]

Kamiya Dojo Monogatari Tale 66 (JUMP SQ 23/07)

About Kamiya Dojo Monogatari:

Tales of Kamiya dojo is written by Kaoru Kurosaki and published along with the “Rurouni Kenshin Hokkaido” arc in JUMPSQ. The tale involves the Rurouni Kenshin character in daily life that takes time between Kenshin and Kaoru marriage until the epilogue chapter in the original manga before the Hokkaido Arc. Until this month (June 2023) there are a total 65 chapters in Tales of Kamiya dojo. This is an unofficial translation. 

Previous Story:  https://www.tumblr.com/kenkaodoll/716668962042150912/kamiya-dojo-monogatari-tale-65-jump-sq-2305

One day.

When Yahiko went to Akabeko after his morning practice at Kamiya Dojo, he found a crowd of people in front of the store.

They were here not for business.

It felt like they were enjoying themselves at the sight of something unusual. However, Yahiko couldn’t see what it was about because of his height.

“Let me pass.”

Yahiko was supposed to enter through the kitchen door since he was an employee, but he was concerned about the crowd, so he waded through the crowd to the doorway of the restaurant.

“What is this!”

Yahiko couldn't help but shout when he saw the scene inside the store.

A large number of rabbits were fluttering all over the store. They were foreign rabbits with long ears.

“Aren't they cute?”

Some of the onlookers were amused by the adorableness of the fluffy rabbits.

“Akabeko has a sign that says 'Beef hot pot restaurant,' but maybe they are serving rabbit meat?”

“Maybe they deceived us?”

Some people were suspicious of Akabeko, saying such things.

Tae and Tsubame were inside the store. Tae was catching the rabbits and shoving them into a large bamboo basket. Tsubame tried to, but when she reached out and the rabbit jumped, she pulled her hand back and fumbled. She could not find the courage to catch it.

“Why the heck did this happen?”

Yahiko, unable to look away, went inside the store and asked Tsubame.

“Er….that’s.... When we came to the store, there were already a lot of rabbits…”

Tsubame had no idea what's going on beyond the current situation.

We came to the store first thing in the morning, but it's already like this. It looks like a lot of rabbits got into the store during the night. At any rate, Yahiko-kun, please help me catch them.

Tae handed Yahiko a large bamboo basket and he was told to catch the rabbits and put them in the basket.

“If we don't catch them as soon as possible, we won't be able to open the store.”

“I can't help it. I'm going to catch it as fast as I can, thinking this is part of my training.”

Yahiko rolled up his arms and began to catch the rabbit.

・

“So… That's why you brought it to our house.”

Kaoru says to Yahiko in a troubled tone.

On the floor of the dojo, there were a lot of rabbits.

Kenshin, Kaoru, Yahiko and Tsubame stood stunned in the sea of fluff that filled the dojo.

“I'm sorry, as you see.”

Yahiko put his hands in front of his chest.

“I'm so sorry. I am truly sorry.”

Tsubame also apologized sincerely.

“Tsubame-chan, it's not your fault, so you don't have to apologize.”

Kaoru panicked.

“But... We're the ones who brought it to you. We really don't know what to do. I'm sorry.”

Tsubame's heart was about to be crushed with apologies.

“But then… I wonder how this mass of rabbits ended up in Akabeko?”

Kaoru’s suspicion was quite reasonable .

“That's right… You can't open the store until you catch the rabbits, so we can assume they were there to obstruct business.”

“Some of them said, ‘The sign says 'beef hot pot,' but in fact it's rabbit hot pot.’ Is that what you call harmful rumors? Maybe that's what they were trying to do.”

Kenshin and Yahiko shared their opinions.

“Anyway, it looks like it's the work of someone with a grudge against Akabeko. Ah! It pooped!”

A rabbit was scattering poop at Kaoru's feet.

“Oh, God! What are we really going to do with this… We can't even practice.”

However, she couldn't abandon Tsubame and Tae who were in trouble.

This was not the first time that a disaster had befallen the Kamiya Dojo, moreover this was just a minor incident.

・

“Hahahaha”

In a room of the tenement house, a man was laughing with his big mouth open. A woman was sitting beside him.

“Now it's all taken care of.”

“That thing smelled really bad. Where did you put it?”

The woman asked.

“I threw them into Akabeko. It was funny to see that person, Tsubame was so scared of a single rabbit. I also spread the rumor that Akabeko serves rabbit hot pot instead of beef hot pot.

“That's a masterpiece!”

The woman laughed too.

“My whole plan to break into the owner’s house was crushed by a little brat and it all ended badly. Since then, everything I've done has been a failure. There used to be a hundred underlings, but now there are only a few left.”

“Oh, no, a hundred men is too many. Mikio, you say funny things.”

“I wish I could have shown you how great I was in my prime.”

“Me too, I wish I could have seen Mikio in your prime.”

“I'm not done yet. I'm going to surpass myself in my prime!”

“I love that kind of positive attitude!”

The woman wrapped her hands around Mikio's neck and leaned in.

“But how?

I knew it. I’ll kill the Akabeko owner and her whole family…”

“Hey, you! I've always told you not to kill people!”

The woman let go of her wrapped hands and glared at Mikio.

“Don't look so scary. You're ruining your pretty face. I know… I know... But since you said you didn't want to kill them, we couldn't get rid of those rabbits that had multiplied so much. If you had killed them and put them in bellies, it would have been quicker to dispose of them.”

“They are not rabbits for food. Besides, I don't want to kill them anyway.”

The woman turned her face away and pouted.

“Yes, yes, I understand.”

You've already satisfy yourself by throwing them into Akabeko”

“But you know what?”

Mikio doesn't seem to think that he's let a little harassment get the better of him.

“That person, Tsubame… Her family was poor samurai who had lived by serving the Nagaoka family for 300 years in Edo.”

There was something unaccountable in Mikio, like a small bone stuck in the back of his throat. 

“If you advocate equality among the four classes*, you can overstep the bounds of three hundred years of our favor. I can't accept that.”

Mikio lay down on his back and stared up at the ceiling.

“I knew you were right, Suwa-san.”

Mikio murmured.

“You like Suwa-san, don't you?”

The woman said in dismay.

“Because Suwa-an is my friend. If I get back on my feet and have a hundred men, Suwa-san will be my chief of staff in the Nagaoka Army.”

“Hmmm.”

The woman was uninterested and opened the lid of the sewing box and picked up something to sew.

“I don't know about it, but I hope it will work out.”

・

Mikio was thinking while looking up at the ceiling in a daze.

That was... It was the *spring new year on the 12th year of Meiji.

The zodiac sign for that year was Rabbit.

It was Suwa who suggested that rabbits could be sold as a good-luck charm.

Mikio was in shambles at the time.

The year before, a rumor had circulated that he had been stopped by a single child from breaking into a red room and attempting to commit a robbery. After that, no matter what he did

But that single rumor brought him down. He felt as if he could hear the little brat talking behind his back, and he lost all his bravado.

Suwa was one of the few people who will go along with Mikio as if he was still the same person he used to be.

As Suwa said, he stocked up on rabbits for good luck and sold them at a stall.

Around the 4th year of Meiji, rabbits were all the rage, especially among the wealthy in Tokyo. Long-eared rabbits of foreign breeds were in trend, and female rabbits carrying pups in their bellies sold for high prices. The reason for this was that people would wait until the baby was born to see what color and pattern the rabbit would come out with. It was a kind of "gacha" in the modern time.

Favorers heard of rabbit rallies and boasted about the color, pattern, and appearance of their rabbits. The fever grew so extreme that in the 4th year of Meiji, Osaka issued a ban on the sale and purchase of rabbits. The following year, in the 5th year of Meiji (1872), the Tokyo Prefectural Government issued a decree to crack down on rabbits, saying, "A tax of one yen per rabbit must be paid every month".

As a result, the price of rabbits plummeted. Some people began to hide and raise rabbits to evade taxation, some discharged them into rivers, and others tried to sell them outside of Tokyo Prefecture.

Suwa asked Mikio.

“That means you can get rare foreign rabbits at low prices and because this year's zodiac sign is Rabbit. We will sell the cheap rabbit at a high price as a good luck charm. We'll share the profit, won't we?”

“But isn't the tax of one yen per rabbit per month too high?”

Mikio was hesitant, but Suwa assured him.

“We, the samurai family, are the recipients of the tax. It is not ours to pay.”

“That’s true!”

Mikio felt Suwa's words enter his heart. Taxes are something you have to accept. It is a matter of course.

“But how shall we procure the rabbit?”

“If we miss this year, it will be twelve years from now. Mikio, do you have any idea where we can get the money?”

Mikio thought about it.

“The idea of asking the Nagaoka family, the main family, to help him out, fluttered in the corner of his mind.”

Notes: *)equality among the four classes: one movement of Meiji restoration to abolish samurai class.  *)spring new year: lunar new year. Usually fall on mid January/ February. 12th Meiji: 1879.

.…..to be continued in chapter 67……https://www.tumblr.com/kenkaodoll/723104963765698560/kamiya-dojo-monogatari-tale-67-jump-sq-2308 

TLnote(1): translating Japanese is so hard because the sentence structure is very different compared with English. Also the style of writing is different, plus there’s a lot of figurative, poetic language and things that don't make sense if it’s directly translated into english. So forgive me if this is very weird to read, and please tell me if you want to give corrections. 

TLnote(2) I will provide the original Japanese text for correction if any of you who read have better knowledge of the Japanese language. Just dm and I’ll send the file.

TLnote(3) Dtninja had translated some earlier chapters on his website. You can go and check on there

Read the rest of the story here: https://www.tumblr.com/kenkaodoll/686193523858538496/rurouni-kenshin-tales-of-kamiya-dojo?source=share

[slut4sway]

Anywherebound / Chapter VI: shot of holy water

You grow so fond of things meant to be free

What if letting go is what's killing me?

I've never felt this beat down before

Soon as I'm back up I'm coming back for more

And I hope you find whatever it is you need

Leave it behind, the wreckage of you and me

And I pray you go back to Oklahoma

So I can head back home and be the

Man that's never known ya

•

tw : mentioned drug abuse, mentioned alcoholism. mentioned self harm

🛻•••••••••••••••••••🏞️

trevor’s journal entry : i love you but you can go to hell. you probably like it better there anyway. with all those guys who thought they could have me, and all the hell you've put me through; the core of the earth would finally lay them down. it's pretty sure to say i'm tired of you.

6/4/23

2:12pm

They had good times yeah, but where will they go when the weed is all smoked? Where will they go if the pills run out? Where will they go when there's no more room on their skin for the blade and the ladders of scars? Where will they go when the liquor is all empty? Where will they be when the water rushes through? Where will they be when the white lines and little lies get ahold of them? Where would they go if they didn't pack up and leave?

If they chose to stay, maybe they'd be numb for a couple more days; but in the end, it always comes crashing down and they know they both can cause a pretty ugly wreck. For fuck's sake, Trevor is tired and dripping wet while he's doubled over on his hands and knees trying to breathe. He broke every part of him to hold Jamie through the shakes, but it's hard to keep afloat with his best friend... boyfriend..? It's hard to keep his head above the water when Jamie won't even swim. He's taking in all his share of water at godspeed. How could he even get to shore with Jamie if he won't drop him in the murky water and leave?

His heart was heavy on games and bullshit, especially the ones Jamie played; but he only has one and it's been shattered into a trillion pieces already. Why would he continue to throw it around? He finally brought up the strength to go, and now that his head is clearing up it's made it easier to realize. The haze no longer protected him from the truth. It wasn't a safe little corner he could sidestep into and avoid his problems anymore. For once in his life, Trevor was exposed. Now he's on the hunt for himself, just to chase his running soul down and catch it, to keep it right where it belongs.

No more blaming himself. Jamie was to blame. Jamie fucking Drysdale. It was partially him who dragged himself down with Jamie, and there was no denying that. He could have cut and run with the wind the second he had a doubt, but he didn't. Why? The reason is still something else he's on the hunt for.

He's loved drowning in Jamie for his entire life, but now he couldn't breathe. All the coke-talk was false and deceiving, and convinced him enough to stay through everything. Most definitely, it's a long and hateful road. Finally, he's gotten the feeling he needs to get his ass up and get home back to his warm bed to melt the frost Jamie froze over him.

Isn't this what Trevor wanted? To get better? To break the cycle? Sometimes he should be careful what he should wish for, cause now he's staring death right in the face.

Where would this take him? It's unclear. Would he be six feet under with his obituary reading about how he was such a bright soul and didn't ever deserve to feel the need to cut his life so short?

Whatever they did, it was still the same. It didn't matter how they did it; because they just hurt themselves. Drink, slice, burn, cut, stab, slash, rip, snort, smoke, inject, or even fuck until they can't feel anything; it's the same. Exact. Thing. Self-harm. The internalized abuse they felt from one another was just released with endorphins every time they did these things, and guess it just gave them a feeling of release. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Everything was just an ocean. The cloudy depths of the Pacific, to be exact. No Hawaiian vacation sun, no California breeze, no west-coast summer; just clouds of acid rain which stung them every day when they finally found peace. It's hard to trust something ever gets better, since when it does it always is just a false sense of security that is deceiving and leads a person to become vulnerable for the Devil to come up and ruin them one more time.

Only a shot of holy water could fix that.

Instead of a shot of whiskey.

Jamie... he's.. well, Jamie. He wants so much, but mostly the boys he can't have. Boys full of longing and unrepaired hearts, boys who want him but he can't be good enough for them. In more ways than one, he's both types. From a different perspective, Trevor is the one who he wants but will never be good enough for him.

Jamie wants one boy, though. That's the one he would never get back.

And then there he was. The love of his life standing in front of him, bags packed and keys in hand.

It was he who suggested Trevor leave, so now why does he wanna take it all back?

''Don't you wish you could go back.. sometimes?'' Jamie sighed, his voice dripping like honey and his words held the weight and gravity to drag them both down to the floor and wind up a crying heap. Maybe, or maybe not.

''Mhm. A lot.'' Trying to remember what they were, Trevor just wishes he could go back home. Home used to be Jamie. But now home was just a house out east. Home was now a place away from home. Home was now a place where he could escape the stinging feeling of being in his presence, needing to leave to numb the pain again.

Every day was just another meaningless chore, and every night is just another nightingale song being belted out into the breeze. Just trying to remember where their bed wasn't pins and needles, and they were leaning on a tailgate and looking up at the stars. The sky is falling, and so the stars are coming down with it. Hopefully coming down from another high later was a way to silence the Devil weeping out to him, and maybe that high would come from a shot of holy water mixed with bitter liquor. He was a good guy, in the light of 8 years ago. Here, he's trying to remember who he was. And other times he was just trying to remember his name.

''I don't want you.. to leave. Please don't. I take it back, I take it all back!'' Jamie's eyes grew glassy with tears, and the hurt in his voice felt like death by a thousand cuts to Trevor.

''...I know, and- I don't want to either.''

''But what you said that one night was right, and it's the truth I don't wanna hear. Sure is the truth, though.'' Trevor held a straight face, even though he was burning out inside; ready to snuff and collapse like ash falling from a stick of incense.

Oh, how he could wish he could be breathing in sage and the calming herbs right now.

''Nobody could love you more than me. R-remember that for me?'' The boy's dark, messy tips of his hair grew damp from his tears. as Trevor stood in front of him in the doorway, burdened with the weight of his belongings and the weight of the moment.

''Yeah, James. I know. Don't need to remind me.'' The older boy's solemn tone killed Jamie even more but sedated him enough from the thought of Trevor knowing to be able to keep himself standing.

It takes a lot to know what someone's heart really needs, and even more to realize that love isn't what it's cut out to be. They'd been fighting for each other and each other for so long, so it would really suck to let it all go. Yet it's better to let it lie than hurt each other. It's getting hard now, so why won't they just stay and try to fix it? Besides, they could just say their ''I love you's'' until the leaving leaves.

If the leaving doesn't leave, they'll just make more promises they can't keep.

As always.

''God, I wish I could just like.. make it make sense to you that all this shit goin' on in my head- it makes it so hard I can't speak!'' His tears barely subsided as he said this, while Trevor just listened and sighed; seemingly unfazed.

''I know you try to be better, but it's hard to stay when we're yelling, ya know? And even now I just gotta walk away-''

''Leave knowing I'll love you more than you could ever know'' Jamie interrupted, crying as he collapsed into Trevor for what felt like the last time.

Trevor could act indifferent, cause he doesn't want to leave; though he needs to. Jamie even suggested it, so why is he crying? The truth is that truth hurts.

Truth be told, Trevor's fucking tired of it all. Tired of leaving and coming back, tired of the cycle, tired of the mental illness, tired of all the hurt, and most of all tired of himself. He could go anywhere in the world but he'd never escape the one always with him. At the end of the day, he's the goddamn devil in both of their lives. Leaving is the only way to exorcise him from his and Jamie's life since Jamie makes it hard to love himself because Jamie is hard to love.

''I'll always be yours, Jim.''

And that was the last of them. The wreckage was left behind him, as he gave him a final kiss and walked out of his life with no hesitation. For once in his life, the roles were reversed and he wasn't the one being hurt by leaving. Not showing it, at least.

That final, longing kiss. It sealed his words. Jamie was still on his hands and knees sobbing so hard he couldn't breathe, and Trevor was starting up his 22' fastback and loading up all his stuff.

Jamie's truck would look oh so lonely without Trevor's car.

The sun was still shining down, and boiling the inside of the car, but Jamie felt like the whole world had just gone pitch black and silent.

He was well on his way of watching the roads melt into the mountains like he and Jamie always loved.

•

He was lying on the floor, but he couldn't scream. Technically, he could; but his lungs were so compressed and overworked by his crying it wouldn't be loud enough for anyone to hear and come to his rescue. Besides, Trevor already resigned from his job of being Jamie's lifeline.

Turning into all the things that someone's running from is a different kind of pain, and being left for it is just like another shot to the heart while they're down. Trevor could have talked more shit than any boy badmouthing Jamie ever would about how they're fucked up for leaving him at his worse, but now he was driving in silence away from him.

Couldn't Trevor take it slow as he left him? It already felt like ripping off a bandaid with a prolonged stinging sensation after, be that as it may even hanging onto every last molecule he had of Trevor would hurt less. He already missed the way the floor creaked when he quietly shuffled from their bed to the roof. Now that feeling was filled by missing him already and seeing steady red he could not ever dull.

One thing he's quickly learned the hard way is that Trevor is a hellspawn who burned him until he couldn't feel the pain anymore and that nothing could kill him slower than letting that sweet son of a bitch go. Holy water is all he needs to exorcise him, so he can get back up and act like he's never known him.

All he needs is a shot of holy water.