#ANYWAY he does all those sweet things for his gf like she had forgotten her charger and even though he was tired after work he took the bus

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 09.10.20 lb

lol, lemme preface this by telling you what i know about the show from my out-of-context insta-viewing:

kabir sends his gf riddhima in to spy on vansh RAISINGHANIA (naam ka wazan check karein ji. kaafi hi bhaari-bharkam, just like the fake baritone the actor playing the character is being forced to put on.) vansh is some kinda shady, but idk WHAT SPECIFIC KIND of shady..... like is he just your garden-variety-evil-capitalist-ala-ambani-bezos, or is he into shit like drug smuggling and human/organ trafficking???? no one knows. maybe a little bit of both. but kabir’s a COP, and we all know that those fuckers are the shadiest shits around (#ACAB) so yeah, true to type, kabir shadyyyyyyyy. he’s actually the secret illegitimate son of vansh’s stepmom and together they wanna ruin vansh and take all his monies. so anyway, kabir sends in riddhima, who’s just a whole special brand of dumbass, but also extraordinarily determined in the way only tellywood heroines are. so she’s basically sticking her nose everywhere that doesn’t belong and being a pain in the ass of literally everyone in the show, including her own (coz she seems to get injured in novel and entertaining ways in every second episode.) kabir ultimately manipulates her into marrying vansh, while vansh has apparently married her KNOWING that she’s a spy and is probably playing the long game to see who her puppet-master is. long story short, heterosexuality is too potent a force and the Stupid Spy Girl and Gangsta Guy are currently slowly giving in to the Feelz™, despite missing that one-little-teensy-weensy-who-even-needs-it-in-a-real-relationship thing. y’know, that little thing called, idk, i think it’s called “TRUST” or some such strange unheard-of concept.

oh, in between all this there’s also some bizarre plot about some ex of vansh’s called ragini, who’s dead??? missing? idk. kabir is real interested in that and wants to jail vansh for it, but we’ve long forgotten about ragini by this point #RIPSis anyway, there’s some kinda statue of her’s in the attic or some shit, coz vansh is some kinda modern day gender-reversed medusa who turns women who cross him into statues??? idk man, idk. so riddhima is pretty much in constant danger of being statue-d.

also vansh has a requisite irritating famiy in tow, that he’s burdened with being in charge of (coz no rest for the unfortunate eldest son who lives in this godforksaken mansion, be that an oberoi or a raisinghania) feat: a dadi who is well-meaning, but as annoying as the one in IB was, constantly spouting platitudes about how vansh and Spy Girl trooooooly lurrrrrrrrrrve each other *kissy noises*; some chachi/chacha who are all “HEY WHY DOES HE GET TO BE THE BOSS, WE WANT CONTROL OF THE CRORE-ON KA BIJNESS TOO”, some very fake kanji-eyed siblings/cousins who are supreme bitches, and ofc one (1) normal sibling who is sweet but really does nothing around here. oh and there’s his right hand man/bff too, who seems to be not 100% (maybe just 83%?) incompetent like everyone else. that poor sod just got suckered into marrying Kanji Aankhon Waali Bitch Sister, who is pregnant with some total rando’s baby, and is just an all-round asshole to Riddhima/Right Hand Man, because “ugh, yeh do kaudi ke middle class naukar log, cheeeeee.”

ok now that the sasta, not-at-all-useful recap has been done, LET’S GET INTO THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

———————————————————————

the chachi is screaming her goddamn headdddd off coz her room is on fire. ofc it is. when has anything good ever happened in this manhoos house of horrors.

lmao the kanji eyed cousin has like 3% concern that his mom will be fried like a taaza jalebi. he's literally sauntering luxuriously towards his mom's room jaise park mein tehel raha ho.

chachi's screaming is getting on my nerves. aunty you're wasting valuable oxygen this way.  

riddhima is behind some secret box that aryan and chachi stashed in the room.

THESE PPL ARE SO CHILL ABOUT A WHOLE ROOM ON FIRE (note: it’s shivaay's room in IB) and they're just hanging out in the living room (which if you’ll remember, IS ATTACHED TO THE ROOM THAT WAS SHIVAAY’S) as if fire doesnt have a tendency to y'know..........  SPREAD RAPIDLY.

riddhima is fighting with the bloody fireman saying ki i need to save the box. #priorities

aaaaaaand the fireman is kabir, who has come to haath maarofy on Box of Secrets.

and we know this coz he did a DRAMAAAAAAAAATIC reveal by taking off his mask. in a room FULLY ON FIRE. idhar non-flaming rooms mein bhi ab mask nikaalna danger ho gaya hai, and this guy justtttttttttt dgaf. tum jaison ki wajaah se hi we can't bloody stop the spread.

my god this house has been decorated soooooooo fucking tackily. never thought the oberois would be the classy ones.

shady saasumaa and riddhima stinkeye-ing each other over a bowl of shehed. lol, what even. truly some "rasode mein kaun tha" lvl of politics.

oh ho, saasumaa and kabir lagaaofied the aag.

saasumaa gloating over the fact that riddhima will now never get her hands on Box of Secrets.

flashback time: hahahahaha KABIR LITERALLY LOBBED A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL INTO THE ROOM AND CHACHI DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING HEAR IT OR ANYTHING. lmao everyone in this show is a dumbass. how blissful life must be with just one (1) working brain cell.

riddhima runs into flaming room. ofc now we will have a prolonged sequence where kabir tries to keep his identity and riddhima being the dheent that she is, will give chase.

please note, that not even 48 hours ago, this woman walked barefoot on a bed of coals AND a hallway full of broken glass. AND NOW SHE'S RUNNING FULL SPEED BEHIND KABIR AS IF SHE’S PT USHA. SIS, TUMHARE PAIR HAIN KI KYA HAIN? YOU'RE LONG OVERDUE FOR AN INTENSE PEDICURE AFTER THIS WEEK.

and ofc, he got into a getaway car and made it away.

yeh lo, iss beech mein dadi behosh. ouff.

whooooooooops, dadi has some weird blue nishaan on her neck.

LMAO KABIR SHOT AT RIDDHIMA WITH A POISON BULLET OR SYRINGE OR SOME SHIT, WHICH HIT DADI INSTEAD. LMAO MAN THIS SHOW. IT'S SO FUCKING DUMB, I LOVE IT.

some more stinkeye politics between saas bahu.

bahu is passive-aggressively giving saasumaa roses to congratulate her on winning this round.

riddhima is dheent!max. she's like kuch bhi ho, i'll find the secret anyway and your victory will witherrrrrrr awayyyyyyyy like these flowerssssss and you will be left with the thorns that will prick youuuuuuuu!!!!!!!

LMAO SAAS IS FULLY ROLLING HER EYES AT RIDDHIMA'S DRAMATIC ASS #SAME

just looking at helly's ears is making my ears hurt like a bitch. 

hey riddhima, have you ever thought that maybe this secret child of hers is NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS?????? like honestly, the entitlement desis have to know the workings of other ppl’s wombs.

lol dumbass mummyji crumpled the flowers in her hand and played right into riddhima's stupid kaante waala metaphor. #ramMilayiJodi

hero ko covid hai toh ainvayi ke phone calls se kaam chalaana pad raha hai.

the dude left his house for literally the first time in months and the place is on fire and dadi got shot in the neck with poison. and the wife doesn't think she should tell him so that he doesn't become "pareshaan". sure, this seems like a dude who'll take this kinda thing real light when he finds out later.

(hint: he’s not. he’s a crazed, overprotective weirdo about his family. sound familiar?????)

this guy's dialogue delivery is so dodgy. idk what it is, it just seems so affected.

that plus the ainvayi ka editing just showing him in some random car (clearly from the earlier eps)  is just adding to the jankiness of the scene.

husband dude seems to know wifey's quirks quite well. kinda cute, kinda creepy. 

lol kal tak toh yeh banda itna romantic nahi tha. like he had a smooth moment here and there, but he was mostly real awkward and robotic and unsure how to handle These Strange New Feelings™. now he’s spouting cheesyass lines about being able to see the one who is special to you with dil ki aankhein and idk what.

who are these people who like SHARING their room with another person? #unrealistic

but i also i get you, riddhima. he was pretty much the only thing worth looking at in this room, coz the rest of it is so damn fugggggg. this room should be the one set on fire.

dang, some steamy scenes between them in the flashbacks. ouff abhi jaake episodes dhundne padenge. coz #tharkiTTisTharki

riddhima doing dadi seva. boooooooooring.

ofc dadi ki sui is always atkofied on playing cupid for pota, taaki she can score some par-pota/potis.

riddhima ki best friend ka happy birthday hai.

riddhima is like a lottttt has happened in my life, can't really tell you over a call. yup, that’s for sure. 

ok apparently sejal who said she’s in dubai now is NOT in dubai?? she's just up and flew to mumbai to "surprise" riddhima...... on HER OWN birthday? #doesNotCompute

lmao kabir's annoyance with mummy's useless glass of water. WHY DO MOMS THINK EVERYTHING CAN BE SOLVED WITH DRINKING MORE WATER?!?!?!!

now he's yelling at mom about how she's ruined everything. sure. blame the only one who's actually doing shit around here, while you sit on your ass in this room, glaring and growling like a hangry bear.

some menacing dialogue about how he needs to thikaane lagaaofy riddhima's hosh.

which has been overheard by bff sejal, who went and dropped a showpiece from shock. cool. so she gonna die. bye sejal, hardly got to know ya!

sejal being here doesn’t even make sense. she thought he was a PT teacher. then why did she show up here at his police waala office? also how did she connect the dots about the whole damn story with like 0.04% context that she got from what she overheard? kuchhhhhhh bhi.

[sunflowerhae]

-> you’re mesmerized ✉

-> love! triangle (Jeno, Renjun, OC)

-> ♡ ☾ ✓

playlist• heather, conan gray/Something, The Beatles/ flowers in december, Mazzy Star/ A BOY IS A GUN*, Tyler the Creator/ love again, nct dream/ soft universe, AURORA/ butterflies, kacy musgraves•

──────── ❝ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 ❞

•December 3rd plays in your mind as u and Jeno stand by his locker on the first day back to school from winter break.

•although it was a month ago, u still remember it like it was yesterday

•u and Jeno had gone to the fair in your town

•the last one of the year. They called it the winter festival

•basic

•but ur friend group had a tradition of going together.

•everything was going fine, until you and Jeno had broken off from the group to look at the phat christmas tree.

•you had forgotten a sweater, and Jeno was more than willing to give u his, along w one of his famous eye smiles

•u swore up and down (In ur own head) that that was the day you knew you liked (loved) him

•Jeno couldn’t stop staring at you in it. And when u turned to him, all he said was

•”it looks even better on you than me.”

•and then he kissed u

•yeah

•so this is love

•you thought something would happen when you went back to school that Monday.

•but nothing came. Just Jeno refusing to meet ur eyes

•or talk to u://

•Jaemin said it was because he was scared and that you just needed to be patient

•u accepted it, and waited for the day he kissed u once more

•by Christmas break, y’all were back to being best buds™️

•and you thought maybe when Y’all returned for school, he would have worked up enough nerve to seal the deal w you

•but on that first day back

•in front of his locker

•Jeno locked eyes on the new girl, heather, for the first time

•the way he looked was absolutely beautiful.

•he had wide, open eyes

•and he couldn’t stop staring at her as she walked by and Laughed at something her tour guide said to her.

•yeah, he looked absolutely mesmerized

•but it wasn’t directed at you

•and you knew you lost him

•by lunch, heather was in your group

•turns out Jeno had history with her. And he wasn’t as “scared” as Jaemin said he was at making moves

•all the boys loved her, and while you really wanted to hate her

•u couldn’t deny that she was an absolute angel

•she had an eye smile, like Jeno

•and dimples

•and long, beautiful eyelashes

•and a beautiful laugh

•and she could keep up w haechans jokes, and chenji so easily called her noona, something they never did w you

•Jaemin tried flirting w her, but Jeno looked so protective over her, that Jaemin turned to you and shrugged while wrapping his arm around u

•u wanted to throw up when heather politely asked u and Jaemin how long u had been together

•and Jaemin threw his arm off u, and made gagging noises while the rest of the table laughed

•heather got red, and mumbled an apology to you while bowing.

•You wanted to hate her, you wanted to yell at her. But then, ppl would know that you liked Jeno. Jeno would know. And that was too embarrassing

•so you smiled at her, laughed, and shook your head while holding up a hand

•”Jaemin and me? Please, I’d rather die a lonely virgin with 50 cats”

•Heather laughed, and scooted closer to you, and said “it’ll be so nice to have a girl friend!”

•yes, u wanted to throw up.

•but u just wrapped your arm around her, like Jaemin did to u

•and reassured her that you two were already getting married, while she laughed

•over the course of the next two weeks, she spent more and more time with ur group

•and in three weeks, it was no longer just you and jeno by his locker every morning, but you, Jeno, and heather

•you and her were talking about how terrible the lunch food was

•when Jeno came up, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder Before giving her a kiss on her forehead, to which she blushed furiously for

•your mind went back to four nights ago, when heather scream texted u (“JSNSISHEVRB”) that Jeno had drove over to her house with milkshakes, took her to a park, and asked her to be his gf

•u cried all night, four nights ago

•after he says hello to u, y’all three talk for a while before the bell rings.

•Jeno and heather start walking towards class, talking about some random thing, while u walk slower in the back, basic third wheel style

•you couldn’t stop staring at their interlocked hands.

•u felt bad. Because heather had easily become ur best girl friend

•but u loved her boyfriend

•and u lowkey wanted her to die

•:/

•u felt like this wasn’t fair.

•u had known Jeno far longer than she did

•why did she get him?

•your thoughts silently went on like this for three more months after this incident.

•May 1st.

•every 1st, your group developed a routine of going to this cafe, just down the street from haechans house

•you would all order milkshakes and fries and sometimes burgers or onion rings

•and you would all just have a good time

•you were feeling a lil down today

•heather had told u that her and Jeno kissed for the first time, and said they loved each other

•to make literally all matters worse, she was wearing the sweater Jeno had let u wear, all those months ago

•the pain in ur heart had numbed. It didn’t hurt so bad anymore everytime you saw them w interlocked hands, or w his arm around her, like now, where they sat across from you in the half circle booth.

•you couldn’t stop looking as ur usual waiter, Jane, came up.

•”hey y’all, I hope you don’t mind, but we have a new worker that needs training, and since y’all are so sweet, I figured he could practice on you? Is that okay?” Her sweet southern bell accent made it hard to say no, not that your group of friends would anyway.

•u actually knew Jane quite well. She was in ur grade, and sat next to you in art.

•u loved her honestly

•u also loved how the blush on Haechan’s face increased, and he couldn’t look up to meet the sweet red heads eyes, which were actively looking at the young boy

•ah, young love

•u made a mental note to talk Haechan up to her tomorrow in art (which you texted Haechan under the table, and he looked up at u in surprise with a smile on his face)

•when u looked away from Haechan, up to the new waiter standing in front of you with a shaky voice and nervous eye

•u felt like the air was sucked out of u

•oh my God that’s the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen

•you knew u looked mesmerized

•wide eyes, open mouth

•u looked like jeno, three months ago

•jeno saw this

•he didn’t say anything, but he saw it

•tbh, jeno did like u on december 3rd

•and he was going to tell u he liked u on the first day back, after break

•but heather was,,

•amazing

•the one thing he ever needed

•his soulmate, he thinks

•that didn’t mean he still didn’t care for u

•but when u so willingly befriended heather, he thought u were okay

•so he never questioned it

•but the way you looked at the waiter,,

•he thought you looked mesmerizing

•so he was going to help u, bc u deserved it

•when the waiter got around the table and finally turned to you to ask for ur drink, he locked eyes on u and

•my man dropped his pencil pad

•he got so red, and went to pick it up, but halted when you started giggling at him

•he sent a smile ur way, then went to reach to get the pad

•renjun had liked u since freshman year

•he hated biology, but ur beautiful smile and the way you threw your head back when you laughed made it waayyyy more bearable

•he had never talked to you, and barely saw you when sophomore year came around

•but that didn’t mean he didn’t think abt u

•u were literally always on his mind

•he was so excited for Advanced Art 3 this year

•he had heard there was a lot of portrait drawings

•and he had gotten marked down before for drawing you for assignments when he wasn’t supposed to (not by much doe because they were THAT good)

•so he was excited to freely be able to draw u

•but bruh when he walked in and u were

•THERE

•ugh he was sad

•not that sad tho bc

•u were THERE

•he saw u a lot with the only other girl in ur friend group, so he felt too embarrassed to say hi

•but he promises his bsf, mark, that he would have if u were alone,,,

•all the damn time

•(mark don’t believe him doe, i agree)

•he had never looked directly into ur eyes

•which is why everytime he drew u, he felt like the eyes were wrong

•so wrong

•but he couldn’t place what it was

•but having u look into his eyes now

•my god he was so excited to go home and draw u

•but u,,,u were not excited

•bc wtf just happened

•u,,at the time,,didn’t know u had just met the loyl

•bc u had only ever really liked jeno before

•u decided to push that shit D O W N

•but jeno

•he was like “nah”

•he had said that he wanted to pay, and before anyone could argue (k like anyone would argue) he grabbed the bill and shuffled heather out of the seat so he could get out

•he grabbed her hand and walked towards the cash register, where jane was standing

•when u saw them holding hands it,,weirdly didn’t bother u

•all u could think abt was that beautiful waiters smile

•jeno and heather walked up to jane nd were like

•”jane, 🅱️ls get our waiter, we have to play cupid.”

•renjun: comes out from the kitchen

•jeno: “y/n, the girl sitting over there? yeah, this is her number”

•jeno: slides over the bill, w ur # written on it (he put it in the section that said “Tip_______” bc he thought he was funny. like, ur tip is a whole ass gf)

•renjun: blush

•jeno: “just tell her who u are bc she doesn’t know we’re doing this but we can tell y’all like each other uwu”

•renjun: huh *sweat*

•jeno: “mkay byeyeeeee”

•renjun indeed did text u that night

•after texting mark first (“JAJSNSNDBSBDBD BRUH GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED” “new phone who dis” “MARK DIS IS SERIOUS DIENDJAJSB”)

•and mark coached him through what to say

•so naturally, renjun looked like a fucking idiot

•but u thought it was cute uwu

•and u were sharpening ur ax to literally murder jeno uwu ❤️✨🌙😌

•when renjun asked u if u wanted to go on a date uwu

•and u were like “ummmm yeth”

•u agreed y’all would over the weekend

•but yet

•when u walked into art the next day and bumped into a rando

•and looked up

•and you and renjun locked eyes

•u had a feeling y’all would be hanging out sooner than the weekend

•the thought had u smiling wide while you said hello

fin.

──────── ❝ end ❞

[cinnamonblueberry22]

Alright, I'mma say it: Both Marinette and Adrien had good intentions with their bf and gf, but their behavior towards them specifically was cruel and wrong.

Marinette - Some people are focusing only on Adriens behavior, even when both were in the wrong. Mari enjoyed being with Luka and did genuinely like him romantically, but she still loved Adrien. She didn't get with Luka simply because she loved him, she got with him because he gave her a chance. In Felix, Luka says "You know, I'd be really happy for you and Adrien if it works out, and if it doesn't, I'll be here for you." Marinette got with Luka because she liked him and because things with Adrien didn't work. She always had this idea of love and wanted to have that. She wanted to be with Adrien, but it fell apart, so she just accepted Luka's chance. She didn't want to be with Luka, but she was still happy with him. However, she still treated him wrong simply because she still didn't move on from Adrien. She still had a whole ton of pictures of Adrien in her room. During the phone call, she called Luka "Adrien" At least 3 or 4 times. She completely forgot about the date. Yes, there's a reason for that, but if Luka were Adrien, Marinette wouldn't have forgotten it. If she really, REALLY, loved Luka like she did with Adrien she wouldn't forget. Oh and don't forget her as Ladybug to Cat. She gets jealous whenever Cat is around another girl. Although from Luka's POV, she treated him so cruelly even without what she did as Ladybug. He still tried to be sweet and thoughtful, instead of addressing it.

Adrien - This kid had tons of fun with my artsy girl, Kagami. He snuck out with her to escape their trash home life's, he fenced with her, had ice cream with her, and went to the ice rink with her. He did genuinely like Kagami, but same thing again, he loved Ladybug more. He thought since Ladybug doesn't have feelings for him, he should move onto Kagami. Kagami was even the first girl who confessed to him as Adrien. So he just went for it. However there were some bumps because of that. Adrien always wanted love too, he always craved love. Although, Adrien still clearly loved Ladybug more. He still had Ladybug as his wallpaper. He still flirted with Ladybug. He was never honest or clear about his feelings for Kagami in front of Kagami herself. No, I won't count him being romantic and sweet to Marinette for him specifically, but I will and gladly count it for Kagami. Because from her pov, he held a bracelet that was from Marinette. He ditched her to check if Marinette was okay in Frozer. He complimented how great Marinette was when they first met. And worst of all, she doesn't even know about what he did as Cat Noir. Of course she'd be mad. Of course she wouldn't know how to control her anger. This is Kagami we're talking about. Not Luka. Kagami addresses things. Like what she did in Miracle Queen, she addressed that it hurt to see Adrien tell her in front of her face that he wasn't ready. Even after all of those romantic dates? You're still not ready? However, the reason for her anger doesn't excuse how she got violent in the end of Lie. I'm still holding her accountable for that (Sorry if I talked a lot for Adrien lol).

Both Kagami and Luka deserve better. While I think Kagami deserves more because she doesn't know half of the things Adrien did, still this ain't a competition. Both we're hurt, and reacted differently. You can't expect out of all girls, Kagami, to be like "Oh yea I'm totally fine with you ditching me for your just a friend" Or "I'm so happy that you held a bracelet from another girl without telling me". Luka on the other hand, he does have self respect for himself. However, he doesn't show or address it. Because he thinks it'll affect their relationship. He always thought that for, everything. When he asked his mom who his father is, his mom would probably get furious about it (Considering how we've seen her react when it comes to that type of situation). Probably why he doesn't say anything. Because he's scared Marinette will get mad. So he doesn't say anything even though it hurts deep down. He even reassures her that he won't be jealous even that his ex-girlfriend most definitely likes someone else. Kagami isn't scared to say anything that comes to her mind. Because she was taught to just be forward no matter the consequences. Even if her break up with Adrien really, really hurt her, she still spoke what she thought. That you can't trust someone who lied. Who never told you anything. Who treated you unfairly. Luka on the other hand, didn't want to hurt Marinette in any way. So he was being selfless and continued being friends. This isn't salt btw. It's just addressing how these two are completely different (Opposites attract? Lukagami anyone? Jk...or am I? 😉).

Anyway, Marinette and Adrien both thought "Hey, maybe I should start dating someone else to get over my crush? That'll work right?"

Wrong.

Worst decision they ever made if you ask me. Yes they are teenagers, but I can still hold them accountable. They both thought that the best way to move on was to date someone else that you kind of like. But if you're unsure about your feelings for them or still haven't gotten over your crush, then don't date them! That's not what a proper relationship looks like. You can't just get with someone to move on from someone else, that's toxic and is unfair to your partner. Its technically cheating if you make any romantic moves to your crush. It's technically treating your partner wrong if you're still doing things that made you love your crush.

To move on, you have to stop doing things that made you love that specific person. You need to focus on yourself and not others.

Overall, if I don't see Marinette and Adrien realizing they treated their partners unfairly in this season, and I just see them not over their crush that they still obsess over, then what's the point? It's just toxic. It's just going to go back to season 1 and 2 adrienette. And I don't want that. However I don't think that will happen, since there has been tons of speculations going on that there will be a reverse love square, and Mari and Adrien start to realize their feelings for each other. I believe that, but the writers need to do a good job on it. And I think they will. I mean, lots of good things are happening in season 4 so far. The writers need to show AND tell about what Mari and Adrien will do.

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.18 Thoughts *Spoilers*

First of all, I have not seen Riverdale in like a million years because it has just gotten so crazy and stupid and I’m sick of Bughead and Hiram for some reason going after his daughter for one stupid thing and it’s just repetitive and boring. Like, I have watched SO many greater shows since I just stopped caring to watch, but I heard that Bughead will break up and Jeronica might become actual friends, and that Hiram is arrested, and shit like that, plus the first episode of the fourth season is a tribute to Luke so I feel obligated to catch up before then to watch it. Either way I hate not finishing a season, especially after watching it for two whole seasons now, so… enjoy my technically not-spoilers since it’s been out for awhile thoughts on this episode of Riverdale! P.S. Bare with me if I have forgotten anything since it’s been awhile.

- AWW NO I REMEMBER THIS THOUGH, POOR BABY TEETH :( He was such an adorable little shit he didn’t deserve this.

- Oh yeah FP is the Sheriff… and Jughead is at a crime scene even though he should not be allowed there (Even if the gang is like… sheriff’s in training or whatever the fuck) Still not sure how I feel about FP, and I can’t wait for my rightful queen Toni to rip the serpents from Jughead’s cold dead hands (even though he’s obviously not dead)

- God damn Betty and Edgar again… she still bothers me. Does she realize that looking up his name might not get her anywhere because he’s not famous and therefore won’t have anything on him? I mean yeah maybe small town shit but like she’s acting like twenty million pages of him and his cult should be on the web.

- He walked in the desert to die? Psh alright… sounds stupid as fuck. He acts like farming opened his eyes to how beautiful life is like… chill bruh it’s not that amazing. I mean, it is, but he’s making it out to be like this BIG BIG thing when it’s not… burying and watering seeds doesn’t make you feel reborn.

- Betty had a point about it not telling her about how her mom can see Charles (even though I know he’s alive lolol we all knew)

- Oh yeah Archie got that one place from Hiram… but that dumb bitch asking how they can honor Baby Teeth as if he doesn’t know that you could simply just… stay silent for a few minutes to mourn, or shit like that. But my boy Mad Dog can also dedicate his next match to him too lol

- Fucking Elio NOBODY LIKES HIM OR THE STORYLINES HE BRINGS. LIKE HIRAM.

- My baby Veronica!!! Love my queen. CHERYL!!!!!!!!!!!! MY OTHER QUEEN. FANGS MY WHITE COVERED BABY!!!! Poor Toni watching her gf be hypnotized by a fucking cult

- Oh good a horrible plan from Jughead that will probably induce Betty to do something stupid and awful and then pretend like she can do it because she’s Betty Cooper… can’t wait…

- Like, they could have tried it out with Fangs/Kevin because they KNOW that Midge is dead.

- YES TONI GO AFTER BETTY FOR USING HER COUSIN. YOU FUCKING GO BABY

- Betty still has that video lol wow what a conniving bitch of a cousin she is. She said she deleted it, and they’re trying to make it out to be a good thing that she lied about a video…

- Veronica my queen,,, I hate that they tie her to Elio’s annoying bitch ass.

- That body does not fucking look like Baby Teeth,,, anyways

- I mean a human could do that lol you just mean that they don’t have a care for anyone. If this weren’t human, they would be like burned from the inside or some insane shit like that… stop being dramatic doc

- What kind of crack… HE TAKES TWO SWINGS AT FP AND THEN STOPS SO FP CAN FUCKING HIT HIM LOLOLOL WOW

- Alice! I miss the old her, before the writers decided to try and destroy her. But lmao this news broadcast tho

- Still can’t believe that they made out Betty and her father’s budding relationship a good thing. The fucking… WHAT? Why? How? Literally stop. Thank GOD Hiram or Penelope ends up murdering his ass…

- FP, THE SHERIFF, SHOULD NOT BE TALKING ABOUT THIS CRAZY SHIT TO HIS FIFTEEN YEAR OLD SON

- GOD I mean I get it, Cheryl needs to be brought back but that would be too convenient wouldn’t it… I’m sorry it’s fabricated??? Omfg “have you ever hugged Jason?” CHERYL’S PAUSE. SHE GOT TO HER FOR A SECOND GUHFADSBFKSFHAKSJ

- If this didn’t work with Cheryl, this won’t work with Alice. But Betty doesn’t communicate with people so she wouldn’t know. Also, there’s no date on it so like… she’s bad at making Charles’ gravestone look real. Like, I already know that she’s undercover with the FBI with Charles bc yeah but like… why wouldn’t they just loop Betty in? She could finally back off and stop getting into people’s business.

- AH THERE’S THE STUPID BETTY COOPER ACTION THAT IS NEVER NECESSARY TO ANYTHING!!! Fucking Betty, you chloroform your fucking mom???

- Archie basically calling himself Jughead… ew… Jughead could never

- I know it’s going to happen but I don’t want Varchie to get back together.

- SHE EVEN FUCKING CUFFED HER TO THE BED OH MY FUCKING GOD send Betty to an actual psychiatric hospital far away, not only because then she won’t be in the fucked up town of Riverdale and actually get help, but because then the show could actually give other actors more screen time

- This literally seems like an evil villain showing the hero their backstory… also Alice gotta point she got the news job because of the farm. Betty we know you never think things through, just stop you’re soo fucking bad. Why does her crying for Betty’s 8th grade graduation mean that she’s not who she is now? That has NOTHING to do with her at the farm??????????? Why does she say “that was the past” like it changes nothing why you acting like it does?

- Betty all of your points really are so traumatic for Alice. Like, yeah I get it you and Polly were raised there but she married a fucking murderer and yet this is all about you. I mean, it makes sense but they make Betty push it so hard that I root against her.

- If I were Alice, I’d be so fucking horrified of my daughter. Like, she has done so much shit to her, and yeah Alice has done bad things too but at least she’s being brainwashed (? bc she’s undercover and not able to get out of her cover?) Betty should not be so okay with fucking chloroforming her own mother.

- Betty really acting like this is all on her huh…. I mean literally bring other people into the plot it’s not that hard to actually make it interesting and share the screen time

- Ummmm alright. Also why would you let her take “G” or whatever the fuck??? ALSO JUGHEAD WHY THE FLYING FUCK DON’T YOU TELL YOUR DAD THAT IT’S YOUR FUCKING MOM???

- Evelyn get the FUCK away from Toni. THE ICONIC LINE “Bitch, I love her.” fsjdkhfhaskjfdhsf

- MAD DOG!!! Of course Randy is taking drugs. I mean, that’s cheating so just tell the news and get him disqualified and you win… easy. My boy is NOT taking drugs.

- JELLYBEAN!!!! AND RICKY!!!! I mean yeah they’re both little shits but uhhh that’s kinda sweet

- Lmao how did she start burning those pictures tho… I mean good for her but like… how?

- Betty… threatening to kill someone is NOT a good thing. Get some fucking help. Like, she’s not even scary. Does no one remember how sweet she used to be? I’d be so fucking concerned for her.

- Ew, kombucha? Cheryl, the farm doesn’t need you for brewing kombucha lolol

- FANGS!!!!!!!!!!! But isn’t he a part of the farm when did he get messed up into this boxing shit tho? DID HE EVEN KNOW BABY TEETH? I mean, yes baby get  screen time, but???

- Edgar saying that Betty is a good person… sksksksks since when? And of course she’s afraid of her daughter, she literally doesn’t care about anyone but herself or Jughead and that is not good. I mean poor Betty for having to hear that but Alice isn’t wrong.

- Did… Did Betty not listen to those tapes at all? I know Edgar is a cult leader and therefore he tricks people into doing and saying what he wants but he never said SHIT to turn Alice against Betty. Betty’s doing that all by herself. He literally said that Betty loved her… he’s right you have given her so many reasons to fear you.

- Betty knows that a therapist is to help people? Then why the FUCK doesn’t she get an actual therapist? She desperately needs it.

- Edgar is actually pretty good with words tbh… but then again he kinda has to in order to be a cult leader

- So no one at the Farm is going to get her arrested for kidnapping? FP would have to arrest her lol but alright

- Varchie FRIENDSHIP is cute but I don’t want them to get back together ugh I know it happens but NOOOOOOOO why does the CW always ruin everything good?

- LUKE!!! 😭😭😭😭😭

- Evelyn really trying to make herself the most hated character by breaking up the best couple lol but I’m so disgusted bc I know that Toni ends up actually wanting to be in the farm… if I remember correctly…

- I mean you’re not a MONSTER, Betty, but you’re an awful person.

- I don’t like Kurtz but I really like the actor for him.

- PLEASE TELL ME MY BOY DIDN’T TAKE DRUGS. AWWW JOSIEEEEEEEE I miss her so much she and Archie deserved better.

- When Betty actually does the right thing (having a change of heart for the good) ssksks I’m not used to Betty actually using her brain. It makes it worse that it’s only because of a cult leader but uhhhh

- THE REF SHOULD BE ABLE TO CALL THE DISQUALIFICATION??? That’s so cheating and that is so fucked…

- Also I love that Archie still has the fake serpent tattoo.

- LMAO FUCK YOU ELIO, EVEN DRUGS CAN’T GET YOUR PEOPLE TO WIN. oh… of course he’s gonna fucking die.

- Ugh I forgot that The Gargoyle King was a thing. It’s just so fucking stupid…

- Poor JB,,, anyways go to your dad to help

[marigoldbaker]

2018 fic writing roundup

tagged by @catty-words​ !! thank u darling

i have this lingering suspicion that the 92k mess that is imperfections has a tendency of bumping up my word count, but also i’ve been writing particularly A Lot this year. so. yikes. this’ll be a mess

Total 2018 Word Count: 465,233 (so uh. yikes squared?) Total 2018 Hits: 16,798 Other 2018 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 1,592; Comment threads: 457; Bookmarks: 186; Subscriptions: 121.

Total 2017 Word Count: 171,640   Total 2017 Hits: 9,156 Other 2017 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 841; Comment threads: 172; Bookmarks: 126; Subscriptions: 40.

Links and Titles to 2018 Works (buckle up kids)

ten questions for new year’s eve (6,669 words) lonely s4 giles meets jenny on new year’s eve. basically fluff laced with some light angst, which i think set the tone for most of my writing this year

forever (4,738 words) some assorted femslash ficlets from tumblr that i immediately forgot about after february. it of course got buried under a deluge of jenny fic but there’s still some cute stuff there! i had a lot of fun in particular writing about bb willow and the beginnings of her attraction to girls

she’s your destiny (9,560 words) AHHHHHH I FORGOT I WROTE THIS. blessings of writing This Much. soulmate au with buffy/willow and giles/jenny where like. none of them are soulmates but they fall crazy in love anyway.

the happy-ending bouquet (3,851 words) set in 2018. giles and jenny have been married for something like 15 years and are still very happy and in love. basically just an endless deluge of fluff

personas (2,729 words) hhhhh i hesitate to count this as a 2018 fic, because i technically posted it in summer 2017 and then deleted it for reasons unknown (even to me). but there aren’t enough fics that explore jenny’s fractured sense of identity and her broken heart and i love my girl so much. so. wrote that.

something real (2,173 words) my valentine’s day fic!! a friend and i share the headcanon that jenny would have finally shoved her way back into giles’s heart if not for the love spell throwing her off, so. wrote a fic where that happened, albeit somewhat angstily.

direct, but not unwelcome (4,478 words) this fic always makes me cringe, a little; the office verse was written largely for faith and tara, and writing giles and jenny in it was a decision i don’t entirely like (mostly bc there really is no narrative place for either of them). but it has a few good lines ig?

putting a ring on it (2,370 words) giles and jenny proposal fic!! a little wobbly in places imo but still so fun to write. those two deserve all the fluff

the second choice soulmates (6,942 words) the inevitable faith/tara sequel to the soulmate au!! i had it planned from the second i started writing the first fic in that series, and i had a lot of fun with it. in which faith and tara have to deal with their soulmates being in love with each other, and end up falling in love themselves.

nightmares and the aftermath (1,205 words) the first fic i wrote in the ripper au! ripper has a nightmare; jenny talks him through it.

the inherent complexity of falling in love (3,519 words) more soulmate au nonsense!! this time with solely giles and jenny!! 

let’s stay together (857 words) i say that this is “a series of vignettes in which ben, ann, and leslie are dating” but really it’s just one. i’ve kept it in bc i really wanna write more than one. ben/leslie/ann is such a blessed ship and there are no fics for it! which is ridiculous! because they really should all be dating!! leslie has two hands y’all

moments of connection in an uncertain world (3,351 words) the olivia/jenny fic that set that amazing ship on its course. set in asoue; jenny’s identity in the narrative is ambiguous bc jenny’s identity in every narrative is ambiguous. mystery bicon

amends (remixed) (2,988 words) i’m like 99 percent sure i spite-wrote this fic after watching amends bc that really seems like something i would do. in which ghost jenny makes sure buffy, angel, and giles all know that she doesn’t blame them for a single thing.

it’s a family affair (11 chapters) jenny, married to giles and mom to two daughters, loses her memory. i meant for this to be an exploration of jenny and giles’s relationship + jenny as a character, but with hindsight i feel like i kinda rushed it. maybe someday i’ll come back and expand this a little?

maybe i’m in love (24 chapters) CRIES. this fic was posted all in one day and got buried under the deluge of fic i wrote this year and i am still so sad that it remains forgotten. even by me. like i forgot it existed till now. but it is the treasure of my heart and i am still not sure what i can possibly do for calendiles day 2019 that will even come close to “slow burn giles/jenny series rewrite in script format.”

dragonslayers (8,048 words) i go back and forth between whether adding a sequel to a sappy-happy-ending fic was actually needed, but i had a lot of fun writing jenny and anya and tara being friends and adopting a dog. those girls deserve so much better.

tech support (1,315 words) jenny works at angel investigations, and giles meets her when he and buffy drive up to la to get a book. unabashed fluff.

family ties (2,294 words) giles introduces jenny to his dad and the aunts. i had giles call himself “rupert” for the entire fic and forgot to explain why i made the choice to do so (and there was a damn good reason!!!) so every time i see this fic....Regret™

i like you (992 words) the product of me realizing “wait, i never wrote a fic about my Very Specific Headcanon that giles and jenny had sex after school hard!!!” and then going ahead and writing that fic. not explicit; lots of giles and jenny being dumb and in love

take me now! (3,460 words) the sister fic to my other jenny/olivia fic! in this one, jenny’s a watcher and olivia’s the sweet librarian who has her all blushy.

the grieving process (9,771 words) this fic! was! such a trip to write! i wanted to write something where giles’s s6 issues were confronted. originally i wrote a jenny’s-alive fic where he goes to her place in la after leaving buffy in tabula rasa, but the mood of that fic was miserable and hostile, so i changed things ever so slightly. and then it became “giles goes to jenny after buffy dies,” and that transitioned into “giles actually finally gets to have an outlet for his emotions,” and then it became a very soft fic that i love very much.

unsolved mysteries (1,704 words) a modern jackaby au! where jenny cavanaugh has trauma-related anxiety and eats pretzels w jackaby in a hall closet! surprisingly soft.

the cleanup crew (2,968 words) post-ted; buffy calls jenny and giles in to help her with ted’s robot body. because that ep was a hot mess and too many things were tied up too fast.

princess charming (2,754 words) written thanks to a throwaway line from the grieving process! about jenny saving fred in pylea! @theforestlesbian​ mentioned in a review that this fic came off as “the adventures of jenny” and that was the best compliment ever.

untraditional, unconditional (4,223 words) ripper au! ripper and jenny get married! i don’t think i will ever write a better calendiles wedding than this one.

gettin’ bi (1,215 words) jenny and giles come out to each other. that’s really it.

intimacy (1,058 words) some root/shaw fluff. g o sh at some point i really should finish poi huh

the battle’s done (and we kind of won) (5,026 words) post-chosen; jenny inexplicably comes back from the dead, and giles works thru the messy aftermath of s7.

chaos, vengeance, love (1,412 words) giles’s exes talk over his grave. (and yes, i do mean jenny and ethan.)

buffy summers, muggle-born (6,075 words) buffy goes to hogwarts! this was meant to set the scene for a loosely connected string of fics, but i could never decide whether i wanted them to be chaptered fics or oneshots. i do have like 3 large chapters saved to my computer, tho :/

a eulogy (920 words) jenny calendar, as told by how she’s remembered.

survivors’ guilt (4,690 words) in which giles dies instead of jenny, and jenny and buffy deal with it poorly. my only problem w this fic is that i really wish i’d explored the messy aftermath of what might have happened if jenny had brought giles back. 2019 project y/y?

regarding honor and honesty in the workplace (43 chapters) CRIES IN JENNY/LILAH. given that i did not shut up about this fucking fic for a good 3 months, i don’t think it needs a summary.

maybe we could have a thing (3,184 words) giles and jenny’s first date!! canon told us they went out beforehand and it really did need to be ficced.

the most important words (2,753 words) passion fix-it! how many of these have i written dfshlsdhdf. anyway, by some lucky stroke, jenny doesn’t die, but she’s understandably kind of a mess. giles tries to help.

that brown-eyed technopagan (2,821 words) ripper au! willow has a HUGE crush on jenny calendar, who in this ‘verse is in her senior year at sunnydale high. lots of high school shenanigans.

seven new and very bad songs about jenny (8,597 words) another ripper au fic, this one about what it takes for ripper to finally give in and kiss the girl.

love of mine (282 words) one of the two fics i have written that involves giles grieving jenny. angst abounds.

the adjustment period (4024 words) i wanted to write about how weak vamp jenny is for her gf, so i returned to the grand romantic gestures ‘verse and explored that. femslash calendiles!!

love, scotch, and late-night parties (2,539 words) the aftermath of eyghon in the ripper au. jenny wants to be smothered in attention from ripper; ripper wants to give jenny the space he thinks she needs. basically the exact opposite of canon with the exact same inability to communicate.

father and son (3,761 words) in which ripper examines his relationship to his dad, and worries about treating his new son the same way. (spoiler alert: he obviously does not.)

imperfections (46 chapters) TECHNICALLY i added a few new chapters in 2018. i stg i’ll at least get closer to finishing it this year.

happily ever after (2,005 words) set after the dire king! jenny and jackaby being dumb and in love and experimenting with “the mechanics of ghost-human relations.”

cardboard robot (2,097 words) ripper au: halloween edition! ripper gets a pumpkin stuck on his head and sings about jenny, who Definitely Doesn’t Like Him What Are You Talking About Shut Up.

tea, with honey (3,295 words) a modern jackaby au, where jenny’s trauma really is trauma with no ghost metaphor. jackaby, darling of my heart, is still just as sympathetic.

very really married (6 chapters) THIS I WILL FINISH IN 2019. FOR REALS. i have too many unpublished chapters on my laptop to NOT finish it. set in s1; giles and jenny get drunk married in las vegas pre-canon. which, of course, adds a whole new level of complexity to both of giles’s new jobs.

coping (2,611 words) i really wanted to write about jenny and eyghon, bc there are like 0 fics that address the absolute mess that canon throws at that woman. so i did. very angsty with no clear happy ending, bc that’s what happens when you write canon compliant fic about jenny calendar.

yours (2,747 words) my first foray into writing phryne and jack! and, if the 4k-and-counting wip is anything to go by, definitely not my last. 2018 brought me a lot of things, but watching mfmm all the way through was definitely one of the best.

family ties (2,640 words) catch me crying about river and the ponds for the rest of my life, probably. centered around river’s graduation from luna university and her relationship with her parents.

decently clothed (1,516 words) lots of dumb calendiles fluff!! based on a paragraph from a btvs novel; jenny and giles go clothes shopping. it’s exactly as cute as it sounds.

making things right (1,060 words) passion fix-it that came to me when i thought “what if jenny survived, but didn’t even care that she’d almost died, bc what really mattered was that she’d fixed things with giles and buffy?? lmao how badly would that fuck giles up, knowing that she placed earning his trust over her own life???” and then i wrote it bc i love pain

bless her soul (6,294 words) s3. jenny comes back wrong. lots of explorations of the guilt that buffy, giles, and angel harbored for jenny’s death, with none of the pain of using jenny solely as a mouthpiece for evil. so like. amends done right.

dear friend (1 chapter, so far) a you’ve got mail calendiles au that i really do intend to work on some more in 2019.

haunted (15,622 words) WHAT a note to end 2018 on. a (mostly) non-supernatural au in which jenny, after an intense & awful trauma, leaves sunnydale and buys a ridiculously inexpensive mansion in england. why was it so cheap? because giles, the ghost who lives there, has been scaring off buyers. naturally, jenny is not easily rattled.

Favorite Fic: it’s hard to choose bc i wrote so many but for now i’ll pick bless her soul. writing the-first-as-jenny and playing up scooby guilt while still getting to bring jenny back for a happy ending??? that was just so much fun.

Hardest Fic: very really married. absolutely. i was in a v weird place while writing that fic, so that certainly didn’t help, but that fic has been giving me Trouble since i started writing it.

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2019? always!!

What was the best thing about 2018? friendsssss!!! i’m entering 2019 with a lot of solid friendships, which really wasn’t the case in 2018. 

What was the worst thing about 2018? tbh the answer will always and forever be “my mom” until i am out of this house

Any last thoughts for 2018? how the FUCK did i WRITE more than half of the fics i have posted on ao3 in THIS YEAR ALONE. 55 FICS. i’m REELING.

Goals for 2019

finish the cheesy au g/j multichapters i started

maybe start work on a detective au sequel? i miss that ‘verse

more ripper au fic!!!!!

more jenny/olivia!!!

more jenny centric fic in general like It’s What She Deserves

SOMETHING about jenny and angel. i talk big talk about how much that dynamic fascinates me but i only ever touch on it in fic. it’s never the central focus.

finish the phryne/jack fic i’m working on, and maybe...tentatively...write more?

[sandpapersnowman]

[PREACHER SECRET SANTA] i must be dreaming (or we’re onto something)

woo!! posting a little later in the day than expected but it is all in the name of Quality bc my gf has spent the last like 4 hours editing with me and she singlehandedly polished this stone into a Gem :’)

for the lovely @homelygrantaire who asked for ‘con artist cassidy/jesse/tulip’

it’s also on ao3 with proper tagging and links!

explicit, all fun and consensual, ot3!

This is the third hotel room they've been in since the talk happened, and they all came clean about their feelings and they all kissed it out.

But that's the furthest they've gone.

Yet.

"'Con artist' implies, like, betrayal," Cassidy says. "That's what 'con' stands for, y'know? 'Confidence'? Like, you gain someone's confidence, y'know, their trust, and then you fuck them over."

Tulip rolls her eyes.

"Okay, but it doesn't have to mean complicated shit," she replies. "If I tell someone they can trust me and I'll pay them back tomorrow, and then I don't, that's still a con."

"Sure, but what's artistry about that?" Cassidy scoffs. "That's, like, a con trick or something. Or just being a dick. Con art would be an elaborate plan to pay them back, and then paying part of it, but later they let you in their house to make a phone call and you steal a bunch of their shit."

"That's just robbery, Cass."

Cassidy thinks for a moment.

“Yeah, I guess it was,” he mutters, like he’s done that exact thing before. Of course he has. "Okay," he accepts, "what about this?"

He sits up on the motel couch and shuffles his ass to the edge; it's the position that means he's got it, the next thing he says is gonna be genius.

"The shell game," he says. "Or cups, or cards, or whatever. You put a ball under a cup and shuffle the cups around and have someone try to follow it."

"Yeah," Tulip says, "you let them win a couple times and then when you get them to make a bigger bet you swap out the ball without them seeing, or swap the card, or whatever."

"Yes! That's con art."

"Slapping some paper cups around is art but a good lie isn't?"

"I never said that," he says quickly, and points at her. "You know I love your lies.”

She snorts.

"Since when are you the expert on con artistry, anyway?" she asks. "Last I checked the only thing you were an expert of was getting on Jesse's nerves."

He snorts too, and, speak of the Devil, Jesse returns from a convenience store run.

"Jesse!" Cassidy barks. If he reels Jesse into the conversation first, he'll take his side, right? "Help us settle something."

Jesse sets the bags of microwave meals and alcohol on the big desk every motel always seems to have.

"One of these days," Jesse sighs, "you're going to run out of things to argue about, and I'm gonna come home to dead silence and have a stroke."

Cassidy and Tulip both snort, a mimicked, almost-identical sound that's arisen from spending so much time together, perfectly in sync, and Jesse smiles between the two of them.

"What is it now?"

He takes his jacket off and tosses it on the bed before he sits beside Tulip. Only one of her legs is hanging far enough off the end to touch the carpet, sitting with one crossed over the other.

"First of all, it's not an argument." She kisses him 'hello'.

Jesse freezes up against her.

He knows that Cassidy is in on this now, and none of them have any problems with it. It's great; it feels like all of his and Tulip's rough edges have been sanded down just enough for Cassidy to slot himself into their world. It's good.

But he's also more than aware that they've all been dancing around the actual sex part of all three of them being together. The way Tulip has brushed his hair back with her fingers and re-crossed her legs so her ankle catches his is just a bit too much contact for a 'hello'. It’s definitely instigating something.

He can feel Cassidy's eyes on them and that makes him blush more than Tulip's mouth does.

She finally pulls away, casual as can be, and returns to their conversation as though Jesse's not sitting on the edge of the bed with his fists in the sheets, looking halfway toward debauched.

"And second," she continues, voice as level as a gun to his head, "it's not a who's right, who's wrong thing, anyway."

Cassidy is smiling at them both with that big, lazy grin that shows all his teeth and looks dangerous if you can't catch the spark in his eye.

"Okay," Jesse says. "So what is it?"

Neither of them speaks. Glancing from one to the other again, he realizes that now they've both got the same expectant look.

"What?"

Cassidy scoffs. "Do I not get a kiss hello, Jess?"

Oh, the offense in his voice.

Jesse swallows. "Didn't know you wanted one," Jesse says, instead of 'you big dramatic baby' or 'you scheming fuckers' or 'I'll give you a lot more than a kiss if it'll wipe that smirk off your face'.

Cassidy stands smugly (and if anyone can be smug just by standing up, it's Cassidy) and puts himself at the end of the bed, his knees almost touching Jesse's. He isn't straddling him, or crowding between his legs, but the way Cassidy stands over him, waiting, says that he won't be bending down to kiss him until they get more comfortable.

Jesse chooses the less nerve-wracking option and slides his hands over Cassidy's thighs, slowly, and barely curls his fingers as though he'd like to pull him closer.

Cassidy follows the ghost of the motion, brings his knees up on either side of Jesse's hips as though he did go through with it, and Jesse breathes a shaky exhale when Cassidy settles his weight on his thighs.

"You alright?" Tulip asks quietly.

It's obvious now that this is a thing, something Tulip and Cassidy have both conspired about to ease Jesse into the thing without him having to directly address how bad he wants it. They know him and the second either of them pushes too far, they know he'll tell them to stop, but in a hundred years he'd never ask for any of it out of fear or anxiety or something).

"I'm good," Jesse whispers to her, but his eyes haven't left Cassidy's grinning mouth, unfamiliar lips thinner than Tulip's but equally inviting, screaming please, Jesse, kiss me.

Cassidy waits until Jesse's focus flicks back up to his eyes like he's asking permission, and then he closes the distance. Jesse's mouth is every bit as warm as he'd hoped, and after a few hesitant seconds, Cassidy tilts his head more to make it deeper, more involved, and Jesse groans into it.

They've kissed before, drunk or at Tulip's request or just a good morning peck on the cheek while they're both still too tired to overthink it -- but never with such blatant intent.

Cassidy's hands move from staying safely at his own sides to lightly hold onto Jesse's shoulders, and that is the right call because Jesse's hands press, up his thighs and then his hips and finally settle with one hand on his lower back and the other cradling his side. He’s holding him closer than they've ever been as he pulls Cassidy flush against his chest.

"Shit," Cassidy groans into his mouth.

Jesse feels cool fingers at the back of his neck, but they aren't Cassidy's. Tulip's fingers thread into the hair at the base of his skull and tug, not painfully but not gently. He lets her separate them so she can guide Jesse’s mouth back to hers.

He feels Cassidy's fingers next, his knuckles light over Jesse’s collarbone as he starts undoing shirt buttons.

Jesse continues kissing Tulip, but feels his way to Cassidy's front for the hem of his shirt -- nothing buttoned or tucked in like Jesse's, just a gaudy T-shirt he stole from the last laundromat they passed through, and when his hands move under it, Cassidy's hands move to meet his instead to help him get it off.

He had closed his eyes kissing Cassidy, and then Tulip, but he opens them and pulls back so he can take Cassidy in. He's seen him shirtless before, but never with an excuse to really look.

He can't help running his hands over Cassidy's tattoos while he looks at them; some seem much, much older than others, and he briefly wonders which is the oldest. Some are smooth, properly done so they don't leave scar tissue, and others are raised only enough to notice when you're running your fingers down them or rubbing a thumb softly along its edge.

"I like this," Cassidy says, breaking through his haze. "Sweet, speechless Jesse."

Jesse swallows against his dry throat and tries to laugh, but Cassidy is pushing him back so he can undo the rest of his shirt buttons.

He hesitates at the last of them, hands directly above Jesse's belt buckle.

"Do you want me to...?"

Cassidy runs a thumb over the smooth metal on his buckle. Do you want to go the rest of the way with this? Are you comfortable with that?

Jesse sits up on his elbows and looks down at himself, and where Cassidy’s hips meets his. It almost looks ridiculous because they’re both hard and still mostly-dressed, but he wants the image of them seared in his head.

He nods. Cassidy beams.

He opens Jesse’s pants and pushes them under his ass, and they both laugh when Cassidy has to shuffle completely off the bed to get them down over his feet. Cassidy takes his jeans off while he’s up, and God, Jesse can see half the detail of his dick through his thin, beat-up underwear. His face goes a few shades redder, and he covers it for a moment by pulling his undershirt off.

Cassidy is grinning at him when his shirt is discarded and he can see again. His grin redirects itself to Jesse’s left.

“Tulip?” he asks. “You joining us?”

Jesse had almost forgotten she was there, even with the weight dipping the bed in beside him.

“Jesse?” she asks. “Your call.”

“Yeah,” he says without hesitation. “Of course, if you want.”

She slides off the bed and turns her back to Cassidy, both of them now directly in front of Jesse and both looking like they want to eat him alive.

“Unzip me.”

Cassidy obeys easily, like he’s spent his whole life waiting to hear those words.

He ducks his head to kiss her cheek as he pulls her zipper, and something ugly and possessive rips through Jesse’s stomach out of habit, but then Tulip’s smile goes soft at him, and the feeling is forgotten in favor of heat.

“Slower,” Tulip whispers, and Cassidy obeys that, too.

His mouth moves down to her neck, kissing past her jaw and pecking under her ear as he makes his way to her collarbone. His hand stays on her zipper, almost to the end of its length, and the other rubs up her arm. His fingers tuck under one dress strap and help it fall, and his mouth follows that, too, open and wet over her shoulder and back up.

Cassidy’s fingertips distort the fabric at her sides as his hands slide under to help push her dress the rest of the way off.

(Is this the first time Cassidy has seen Tulip topless? Jesse imagines it can’t be, not with the constant close quarters lately, but like this? In this context?)

His hands slide over her ribs, prominent when she stretches back to lean into him. His fingers fit perfectly into the divots they make in her skin, thin and long like he could hold her lungs in place for her if she wanted him to.

The two of them are a vision together, both naked except for a pair of horrible bright green briefs and a pair of (definitely stolen, he remembers Tulip slipping them in her bag at a mall) deep blue lace panties. They have the kind of visual contrast he and Tulip have never had, Jesse always too tan for his hands to stand out so prominently on her skin. Similarly, he thinks the two of them are just differently built enough that Cassidy will look like even more of a noodle against Jesse’s thicker frame, he’ll have to lean down just enough to kiss him when they’re both upright.

Again, his and Tulip’s rough edges, huh?

“His fingers are fuckin’ cold,” she warns, and both the boys laugh. Jesse knows that already, from less intimate situations, but he appreciates the thought.

Cassidy gives her neck one last kiss, with a shaky scrape of his teeth that makes her shiver.

“Stop teasing,” Jesse groans without meaning to.

He doesn’t even know which of them he’s talking to.

“Go on,” Tulip tells Cassidy, over her shoulder, with a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Cassidy’s hands drag and hesitate to leave her skin, but return to Jesse’s like a magnet when he moves himself back up onto Jesse’s lap. There's something strikingly hot about Cassidy being so close that he can taste his breath while his dick is jammed up against his stomach.

"Hey," Cassidy says. The nerves in his voice aren't hidden, but he doesn't look like he’d bothered -- it's a good nervous. The kind of nervous that will fade into security and familiarity, and isn't that the sappiest fucking thing to think of while his hot new boyfriend is rubbing himself down onto his lap?

Jesse smiles. "What's the plan?" he asks, glancing at Tulip. She hasn't returned to the bed yet, and despite the brief moment of I can do this, he's not sure he can handle Cassidy one-on-one yet.

"The plan is relax," she chides. "You trust me. You trust him. Means you trust us."

She crawls forward to his side again and kisses his cheek, then the corner of his mouth, and then her small hand is tipping his face up to hers so she can kiss him properly.

"We've got you, Jesse," she whispers.

Cassidy kisses the opposite corner of his mouth, the one Tulip didn't kiss, silently agreeing with her. He takes a shaky breath in, and it's even shakier out.

"Do you want to -- " Cassidy starts to ask, and rolls his hips down in a way that clarifies exactly what he's suggesting. "Y'know, you could -- "

"Not yet," Jesse answers quickly. "Not right now." God, one day. He'll fucking dream of the day he fucks Cassidy, but that isn't today. "Just hands, maybe?"

Cassidy nods and kisses him again. "You want me 'nd Tulip to both do it?"

That's the worst idea Cassidy has ever had, because Jesse holds back a moans at just the thought of them both, each with a hand on his dick and him watching both of them slicked up with lube and precum.

Watching himself spill over two sets of knuckles while they both kiss him stupid, hopefully.

"Jesus," he croaks. "Sure, yeah, if -- yes."

Tulip does something like a giggle beside him, and kisses his cheek again. "Yeah, Jess?" she asks, low and purposefully sultry. "You want both of us to jerk you off?"

His hips twitch into an involuntary grind against Cassidy, and his breath hitches the same as Jesse's.

"Yeah," he says again.

Tulip grins, the same dangerous show of teeth that she perfected when she got her braces off in 4th grade, and looks to Cassidy.

"Scoot."

Cassidy does as she says and slides himself more to Jesse’s right, slipping his knee between Jesse’s thighs to straddle just one.

He opens his legs more so Cassidy can comfortably settle back down, and Tulip mirrors his position over the other side of his lap. He's got the two most beautiful people on the planet in this hotel room, each straddling one of his thighs, and all he can think to say is a mindless, groaned-out "Fucking Christ, shit."

His hand twitches up to rub Cassidy through the single layer of cloth keeping his dick from being actually touching Jesse’s skin.

"Can I -- ?" Jesse starts to ask, but Cassidy is already nodding.

"Yeah."

Cassidy kisses him again as Jesse tentatively cups his hand around him. It’s not mindblowing -- Jesse has to get past the odd angle and all his nerves, first, but it’s something.

“You couldn’t have worn something cuter?” Tulip asks, referring to Cassidy’s God-awful, also-stolen underwear. “We could put CGI over those.”

“Sorry,” Cassidy says sarcastically, “I didn’t realize I needed to be dressed to the nines to sit on Jesse’s dick.”

There’s a split second where Tulip tenses, worried that Cassidy might freak Jesse out, but he gives a bark of laughter instead.

“They’re fine, Cassidy,” he says, and squeezes him through them with more confidence.

Cassidy bites his lip to shut himself up, but it doesn’t stop the flush spreading over his face.

Jesse’s other hand slides up Tulip’s thigh, and he gives her a quick kiss.

"Don't worry about me," Tulip sighs, even as she presses her hips forward.

“Shut up,” Jesse says good-naturedly, as he slides his hand between her legs. His fingertip pull lace back so he can slip his hand into her panties.

She rocks down against his fingers with a grin, and keeps rocking her hips -- he presses up for her, not dipping into her but giving her more pressure, more to use.

His attention starts to wane from Cassidy and focus on her, and she smacks his arm lightly when she notices.

“Jesse,” she scolds, “focus on Cassidy.”

He feels guilty that he can't multitask and actively get them both off, but Tulip's still moving her hips and he can feel how wet she is. As in most things, Tulip can handle herself.

“Fine,” he sighs, sounding exaggeratedly put-upon. His wrist already aches from holding the same tense position for Tulip to grind down on, but he wouldn’t care if it broke his wrist.

He kisses Cassidy again, and slides his hand up to his waistband as well. “Can I?” he asks again.

“Yes.”

Cassidy sits up higher on his knees so he can pull his briefs low enough for Jesse to touch him properly. While he does that, Jesse uses that time to really focus on Tulip.

She’s always been a hair trigger, and at times like this, where Cassidy is waiting on him too, he’s especially glad for it. She’s almost at the edge when Cassidy’s finally got his underwear down properly, and he admires her with Jesse while she shakes. She’ll need more than this, she’s always needed to cum two or three times to feel truly satisfied, but they can work on her again later.

She’s breathing out curses and her hand has moved to push Jesse’s harder against her when Cassidy leans over to help; he kisses her neck and up her jaw, while one of his hands starts roaming over her chest again to help give her just that little bit extra.

Jesse uses both hands, one still rubbing between her legs and the other sliding over her thigh and ass to help her shove forward into his fingers.

Tulip peaks with a strangled moan and Cassidy kisses her through it, scraping teeth over and over like flint against her skin.

Her whole body shakes as she dismounts Jesse’s thigh.

She falls down to his side, still panting. Jesse’s hand follows, sliding between her legs again to feel her, cum-slick and hot as the sun, and knowing that just because she can’t hold herself up anymore, that doesn’t quite mean she’s done.

They both ignore their own wants in favor of watching her, as she squeezes her eyes and legs shut while Jesse keeps stroking her. The new angle is easier on his wrist and allows him to press and push her further than she needs. As sensitive as she is now, moving his fingers too much would only hurt her, so he stills them and just lets her rock into his touch for those last few ruts she needs while her hands grip at the blankets with white knuckles.

Jesse’s hand is still trapped against her, making the pressure even worse, her body squirming like she can’t stand it. She reaches down to force his hand harder against her, still trying to get him closer, harder, more.

After a few more seconds, her hips stutter up one last time, hard enough she arches up off the bed, and she cries out one more overstimulated ”Fuck” before she collapses again.

She spreads her legs enough to push Jesse’s hand out of her underwear. He smiles at her.

“Jesus,” Cassidy groans against his cheek. The twitch in his cock that must be painful answers Jesse’s question of whether Cassidy and Tulip have gone this far yet.

Jesse lovingly squeezes Tulip’s thigh, a promise to finish up with Cassidy so they can join her all fucked up and half passed out. They smear tacky against her skin, but the lazy grin on her face says she doesn’t mind.

He tries to wipe his hand off on the blanket, but Cassidy catches his wrist before he can. He brings Jesse’s fingers to his mouth and licks at them, sucking the taste of Tulip’s wetness off and putting on a show for Jesse, gazing up at him like he wants a lot more than fingers in his mouth.

“Oh, fuck off,” he mutters, a pang of want hitting him at the same moment Cassidy’s mouth closes over a knuckle. Cassidy laughs around his finger and lets go.

“Come on,” he begs, rutting his hips up to push his cock through Jesse’s fingers again. Jesse wraps his fingers around him again, tighter, turning his full attention to him now, and stroking him feels as natural as breathing now that he’s gotten more used to it.

Cassidy pants against his mouth between kisses, but as Jesse keeps going, gets a little rougher, hand sounding a little more lewd as it moves, Cassidy can’t even keep up with that. He buries his face in Jesse’s neck and bites. Not hard enough to draw blood, he’s thankfully got slightly more self-control than that, but enough that it stings. Jesse pulls him closer and thrusts up against him too, because God, he wants Cassidy just as bad as Cassidy wants him right now.

Cassidy’s trying to swear against his skin, but Jesse can only make out the vowels and teeth of it. He catches something that sounds an awful lot like ”God, fuck, don’t stop”, though, and it’s only moments after that that Cassidy goes tense and spills himself over Jesse’s fist.

He keeps fucking up into Jesse’s hand as he cums even as Jesse loosens his grip, unsure of how sensitive he’ll be.

His teeth detach from Jesse’s neck, and he hears a long, satisfied ”God” on his pulse.

Jesse’s hand is gross, cum and sweat clinging to his skin, and that he wipes on the blanket. He’ll have to leave a better tip for housekeeping. Oops.

“We were supposed to be getting you off, Jess,” Cassidy finally says, still trying to catch his breath against Jesse’s neck.

“Sorry,” he sighs, certainly not sorry. He slides his hand around Cassidy’s waist and holds him there, arm slung around him. It’s strange; Cassidy is almost as cold as he usually is. Vampirism will do that, he guesses.

He’s still the hardest he’s ever been in his life, and Tulip has regained enough functioning thought to notice.

“C’mon,” Tulip says to Cassidy.

She’s wobbly as she sits back up, still barely shaking while she arranges herself so she can lean most of her weight on Jesse. Her hand slides over his hip and over his thigh, barely scratching her short nails over his skin. He’s still wearing underwear, and she tugs at the band to start pulling them down.

Cassidy barely moves; he stays on Jesse’s thigh, but lets his weight slide so he’s kneeling at Jesse’s side with a leg thrown over his. His face is still pressed against Jesse’s neck, though now it’s smeared sweaty and lazy over to his shoulder as he’s gotten more comfortable and limp against him.

“Tell us what you want, Jess,” Tulip says.

“Anything,” Jesse blurts out. “Just want you,” he sighs. It’s a general ‘you’, and he makes sure Cassidy knows that by squeezing him with the arm wrapped around his waist.

He feels Cassidy smile against his skin. He tucks his thumb into his waistband too, and they carefully maneuver his ratty white briefs down his thighs.

“Nice,” Cassidy says out loud. Jesse’s been leaking since Cassidy sunk his teeth into him.

“Right?” Tulip says. “At least he’s good for something.”

Jesse tries to laugh, tell her to shut up, maybe, but he’s already too overwhelmed to do much more than huff and put his arms around them both.

Tulip’s fingers wrap around him first, at the base of his cock, and Cassidy’s wrap around him above hers, and it’s… Hot... But awkward.

“Maybe -- “

“No, yeah, let’s -- “

“Yeah.”

Tulip and Cassidy wordlessly come to a solution, and then Jesse feels them thread their fingers over him.

His long-time girlfriend and brand new boyfriend are holding hands around his dick.

“Oh my God,” he moans, half because it’s ridiculous and half because it’s the hottest singular thing that has ever happened to him.

“That feel okay?” Cassidy asks.

“Yes,” he answers.

Their hands move slowly, a surreal kind of pressure that’s nowhere near what Jesse would need if it wasn’t the most incredible feeling, and probably the most emotionally climactic sex he’s had since him and Tulip got together for the first time.

He doesn’t last long at all -- between both of their hands around him and both of them tugging his head back so they can kiss at his neck, he’s amazed that he lasts as long as he does. It’s their hands stuttering against each other that pushes him over the edge, both trying to move faster for him but not managing the right rhythm.

He groans one last time into Cassidy’s hair, arms tight around both of them. He forces himself to watch, as much as he wants to shut his eyes against the feeling of it all washing over him. He doesn’t dribble over their fingers as much as he’d expected, too worked up and tense for it to come any softer than a slow gunshot up against his stomach.

He lays back, dragging them both down with him, and he tries to take deep breaths so he’ll stop seeing stars.

Tulip removes her hand, but Cassidy’s stays for just another moment, just a couple more admiring, overstimulating strokes that squeeze a few more fat drops out of him. His dick looks as spent as he feels.

The room seems too still while he’s dizzy from it all, and he’s just starting to feel like he can think again when Cassidy breaks the silence.

“Who’s getting the cum rag?”

“Gross,” Jesse groans, because that’s the worst thing to call it, even if it’s the most accurate. “Also, Tulip.”

Tulip groans too. “Why am I getting the cum rag?”

“Because you’ve had the most time to recover from sex brain. And the… The sex legs,” Cassidy explains, either agreeing with Jesse’s unspoken logic or just not wanting to be the one that has to get up. Jesse nods regardless.

Tulip groans again, but rises on shaky legs to go get it. Jesse barely hears the water running over the sound of his blood rushing in his ears.

She tosses it at them, her part done, and collapses back against Jesse.

Cassidy, the gentleman, wipes Jesse’s stomach off for him. He even sits up and tries to wipe his own dry jizz from where Jesse had smeared it on the blanket, as much as he can, and then tosses the washcloth back toward the bathroom.

Jesse pulls him down to lay next to him too.

"That's gotta count," Cassidy says, tucking himself under Jesse's arm. "He was confident making him go to the store wasn't a trap."

"But he got something out of it too," Tulip reminds him. "He didn't get ripped off, he got jerked off."

Cassidy and Jesse both snort, Cass with a proud "Good one!" and Jesse with a slightly disgusted but decidedly not-bitter "Gross."

"So a con would have been making him get us off, and then we just, like, didn’t get him off?" Cassidy looks up at Jesse with a snort. “He tried to do that anyway.”

Tulip snorts too.

“Just… Jesse can fuck off,” she says, like they’re not talking over his chest. “If he hadn’t been trying to do that and we’d just left the room or something, that would have been a con. Or something.”

She nuzzles her face down against his chest to get herself comfortable.

“I can’t think straight, who cares?”

Jesse and Cassidy laugh then.

“Is that what the argument was about?” Jesse asks. “What counts as a con?”

“It wasn’t an argument,” Cassidy and Tulip mumble in sync.

Cassidy turns so he’s more on his back, leaning on Jesse’s arm like a pillow and bringing his hand to his own chest to thread their fingers together.

Jesse kisses his temple.

Somehow, all tangled up, they sleep through the night.

[lesbenoits]

same stars

title: same stars (read on ao3)

word count: 2676

rating: T 

description: Iko heads to Rieux for a well-needed vacation, hoping to find a mission, now that the wolf packs are rounded up. She doesn’t find her mission, but she does find Émilie.

anyway this was supposed to be a character study but then Émilie showed up and fucked it all up so here are your gay pre gfs ft. iko feeling lost. this gonna be long so prepare yourselves

arrival (chapter one)

Iko’s expression twisted into disgust as her heels sunk into the muck. She lifted her feet, trying to shake the clumps of dirt from her sparkly shoes. Even the air seemed to be clogging her circuits, dragging her spirits down. She had known Rieux would be rural, but she hadn’t imagined it being quite so heavy. Her friends’ advice echoed in her head as she resigned herself to a lost pair of shoes.

“I think it’ll be good for you.”

(Iko didn’t understand why she couldn’t stay with Cinder.)

“Plus, you’ll get to see Scarlet and Ze’ev! And Émilie is really nice.”

(It would be nice to see them in person, but they chatted over video often enough.)

“It’ll be nice to be out of the spotlight for awhile.”

(But Iko liked the spotlight. She reveled in it. Where was the spotlight here?)

“I don’t know what you’re complaining about, I would love a break.”

(She had crossed her arms at this, glaring. Iko didn’t want a break; she didn’t need a break. She just wanted to be useful. With the wolf packs vanquished, there was no mission for her. Iko was an extra piece of malfunctioning technology. Despite Cinder’s assurances that “of course there was room for her,” and “nobody wants you gone!” couldn’t cover the way children were ushered from her and the whispers behind her back, calling her “it,” saying things like broken, and needs replacing.)

A mud-splattered vehicle rumbled towards her, spewing gray exhaust. Her vocabulary struggled to find an appropriate word. The clunky machine could really only be called a truck – but they hadn’t made those in years. It spluttered to a stop a few meters away, making noises that would have had Cinder under the hood in seconds.

Iko thanked the stars for the filtering system she had had implanted on Luna as a blonde figure clambered out, coughing and waving away the fumes. “Hi! I’m Émilie.” She wiped a grimy hand on her (very stylishly cut) jeans before offering it to Iko. “Scarlet’s friend. You’re Iko, right?”

She covered Iko’s outstretched hand with both of hers, smiling as she blew loose hair out of her face. “I’ve heard so much about you! It’s lovely to finally meet. Oh stars, look at your shoes!” Émilie grimaced. “It’s all right, it’s happened to me enough times. I’m sure we can clean them off, they’re awfully cute.” She giggled. “Watch out, I might steal them.”

Iko blinked a few times before giggling back. Émilie’s words bubbled out of her like a fountain, spilling over and soaking Iko, short-circuiting her for a moment. “Thanks! I love your jeans, by the way.”

Émilie glanced down like she had forgotten what she was wearing. “You’re sweet. Want to hop in? I’m sure we can find room for your bags somewhere in there,” her eyes sweeping the heaping suitcases. She gave the battered truck a pat. “Nellie can take anything.”

“Nellie?” Iko helped Émilie swing her biggest bag into the trunk, stumbling a little as her heels sunk into the ground.

“Yeah, that’s her name,” Émilie replied. “I don’t know exactly when it caught on, she’s been around awhile.”

“I didn’t even know they made automobiles anymore.”

“They don’t – at least not in Europe – but there are still some around, especially in less developed parts of the world.” Émilie frowned. “Not that I would know, I’ve never really been too far from Rieux, but I’ve read a lot about them. You would not believe how far you have to search the net for basic car maintenance! And fuel is so hard to find.” Émilie chattered on as she sparked two wires sticking out under the dashboard together. At Iko’s curious glance she explained, “lost the keys, but this works just as well. Usually.”

Iko gripped the seat beneath her, preparing for the car to launch them out the window or implode on itself. “Couldn’t you just have had another key made?”

“Would you believe we couldn’t find someone that still made keys? Crazy, I know. But apparently, people just go electronic when they lose their keys nowadays.” Émilie pushed her hair out of her face, grinning at Iko from her hunched position over the exposed wires. “Her wiring is too old to have a card scanner implanted, so here we are. Oh, here we go!” Nellie shuddered and groaned, but after much complaining, she started down the dirt road.

Iko clung to the armrest for dear life as they bumbled down the road in a five hundred-year-old deathtrap. Emile just laughed and chattered on, one hand on the steering wheel, looking over to make sure Iko was listening.

“Oh stars, keep your eyes on the road!”

                                                        …

As soon as they rolled up to the Benoit-Kesley farm Iko scrambled out of their so-called transportation. “That,” she said, pointing at Nellie, “should not be legal.”

Émilie shook her head, laughing. “It’s a bit rough at first, but you get used to it. Plus, it’s not a bad excuse to wrap an arm around the person in the passenger se– oh! Scarlet!”

Scarlet had burst out the front door, Ze’ev not far behind her. There was a kitchen spoon hastily stuck in her hair and Ze’ev wore oven mitts and a far-too-small apron with floral print. Iko dropped her bag to crush Scarlet in a hug, shoving her face in Scarlet’s tickly mass of hair. They clung together, swaying, for several seconds before Iko broke off to wrap her arms around Ze’ev, throwing a kiss on his scarred cheek. He no longer flinched when people ran their fingers over his marred skin, or wide-eyed children asked to touch it. The stood there for a few moments, the android and the soldier, both able to squeeze as hard as they wanted without harming the other.

“Stars, it’s good to see you guys.” Maybe they were right. Chatting over the net and seeing each other through screens just wasn’t the same as walking into their cozy farmhouse and being greeted with hugs and kisses, the atmosphere wrapping Iko up in its arms, handing her a metaphorical hot drink and seat in front of the fireplace.

Scarlet wrapped an arm around Iko, bumping her hip. “You remember where the loft is? You’ll be okay staying there?”

“Perfect. Thanks for letting me stay. Cinder thought– ” Iko’s chest hitched, and she hesitated. “Well. I’m here.”

Scarlet smiled softly, her eyes conveying more than what she said. “Ze’ev and I are finishing up dinner. Émilie’s staying for dinner too.”

“Émilie is really nice.” Iko had heard and said that word too much. What did it even mean?

“She is.”

“Well. I’m going to put my things away. And clean off,” she said, gestured to her mud covered legs.

Scarlet opened her mouth as if to say something, but closed it. “Okay. We’ll see you in a bit.”

“Yeah.” Iko stood there, watching her walk back to the kitchen. Watching the smile on her face as she wrapped her arms around Ze’ev, saying something Iko couldn’t hear to Émilie, who laughed and flipped her hair over her shoulder. The sounds of human interaction filled the Benoit-Kesley home, and it echoed inside Iko’s emptiness. She turned away, lugging her bags up to the loft. Everyone had said Rieux would be different, but she was still an extra piece. Replaceable.

                                                      …

Iko spent the evening catching up with Scarlet and Ze’ev, reminiscing about the years past and filling in the gaps of both their stories since. She talked to Émilie, who always seemed to have more questions. “What is Luna like?” “Did you really take down an entire pack of soldiers?” “What’s New Beijing like?” “Is Carswell as handsome in person?” Émilie never brought up Iko’s android-ness, nor probed too deep into anything sensitive or traumatic. Iko realized her questions were purposeful, engaging Iko but not going too deep, just making her feel at home. A smile flickered to her lips as she realized this, and she met Émilie’s mischievous eyes, trying to thank her wordlessly.

The world grew quiet around them as they migrated to the living room, Scarlet’s head in Ze’ev’s lap, the pair murmuring in hushed tones. Ze’ev’s was soft as he ran his fingers through her hair, the look of adoration on his face making Iko realize just how lucky Scarlet was as his eyes crinkled. The firelight began to flicker as the logs shifted, casting new shadows on the plaid couches.

“They’re good together, huh?” Émilie nudged Iko.

Iko startled for a moment before she settled into the touch. She bit down a giggle, instead flashing a smile at Émilie. “Aren’t they?”

It wasn’t just Iko and Émilie that thought so. Scarlet and Ze’ev didn’t have as much of a media presence of, say, Cinder and Kai, but they had shattered boundaries, being the first Earthen and Lunar to be married. Their accounts were full of pictures of each other and the farm. Scarlet often spoke or wrote about feminism, and the pair had developed quite the following. They both were rather bewildered by the sweet comments and an overwhelming amount of likes they began to accumulate. They were the parents of the crew, and the rest of the world – at least those with an internet connection – agreed.

Émilie’s expression was a little bittersweet as she watched the pair; Scarlet now curled up, her head still on his lap. “They’re adorable.” Her gaze turned to Iko, her brown eyes sweet and maybe a little bit curious. “Do you have someone? Back in New Beijing, I mean.”

Iko froze for a second. She thought of Kinney, with his harsh words and harsh lips and eventually even harsher blows. They had never been together, thank the stars. She came to her senses long before that. There had been a few men, but she had always stopped them before their hands went up her skirt, because she knew they would recoil if they knew who – what – she was. Their kisses had been nice, and she had liked holding hands and having someone to call hers. There was that word again. Nice. A relationship should be more than nice. Even Cinder, not one to gush and wax poetic, would never call her relationship with Kai nice. And Kai, one to wax poetic, had called Cinder a large array of adjective, all flattering and more informational than Iko was interested in, none of them being nice.

“Um, no. Not at the moment,” she added, trying to sound less pathetic. “But who knows? There’s a whole town of men here!” Her laugh was a bit higher than she had intended. “You?”

Émilie laughed that light laugh that made Iko’s skin tingle. It must be her sensors acting up. “No, no one for me. But if you’re trying to find someone, you should come to Rieux Tavern with me. I work there,” she explained. “Most of the guys there are assholes, but you never know. Scarlet met him there,” she said, jerking a finger at Ze’ev.

“Right, and then he turned out to be a wolf soldier and they proceeded to overthrow a tyrannical reign and go through ten levels of distress and trauma before they got their happily ever after. I’d rather be single than do that again,” Iko said flatly, throwing a glance at Émilie, hoping she realized she was joking.

“Well,” Émilie said seriously, “at least he turned out to be a good wolf soldier. Maybe you’ll get a nice and wholesome vampire.”

They both collapsed into fits of giggles, hiding laughter behind their hands.

“Finally, I can live out my vampire erotica dream,” Iko said with a breathy sigh. “I’ve always wanted to wear cute clothes while killing monsters, with the occasional makeout in between.”

Émilie shifted. “Didn’t you do that, though? Hunting wolf soldiers and all that.”

Iko shrugged. “I guess. It’s not as much fun as in the net dramas. A lot scarier. Less cute boys and even less cute clothes.”

“That makes sense.” Émilie bit her lip. “I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

The silence that hung in the air was almost tangible, weighing down their hearts and their words. Émilie hesitated. “Is that – is that why you’re here? I wondered, a little. Of all places to take a vacation, why Rieux?”

Iko twisted her fingers together, avoiding Émilie’s gaze. “Partially. There just wasn’t much for me to do back in New Beijing. Living in the palace isn’t as glamorous as it seems, especially when no one wants you there.” Iko laughed, a little bitter. “The revolutionary crew: Kai, the handsome emperor, Cinder, the girl that delivered the moon from slavery, Scarlet, resident badass, Ze’ev, big softie, Cress, an adorable genius, Carswell, the handsome criminal, Winter, the most beautiful girl to ever exist, Jacin, always glued to the princess’s side and, oh yeah, wasn’t there another one? Oh, just that android. Wonder what happened to it.” She spit out the last word more bitterly than she had intended and immediately felt guilty. It was the first time she had voiced her frustrations like that. “I felt so useless.”

She looked up to see Émilie’s eyes trained on her, filled with sympathy and understanding. Émilie had known she was an android, then. Iko wondered if she had found out by one of the various articles written on her “fascinating personality chip malfunction” or if Scarlet had told her. It didn’t really matter. She was just grateful that Émilie was treating her like – well, like a human. There were so few people that did that. “Anyway,” she continued, “Cinder thought I should take a vacation. Get out of the spotlight, you know?” Iko licked her lips. “Cress suggested Rieux. She came here for a bit a few years back, right?”

Émilie nodded. “Yes, about two years ago.”

“Everyone agreed it sounded like a good idea, and it did seem nice to go somewhere new. I’ll miss the shopping, though,” Iko said wistfully. “But that’s what the net’s for, right? Scarlet and Ze’ev agreed and Thorne flew me in on the Rampion. I – I wonder a little if it’s because they didn’t want me around,” she admitted.

Émilie grabbed both of her hands. “Well, I want you here. And so do Ze’ev and Scarlet. Screw them. You’re going to have the best vacation ever, okay?”

Iko looked down at their hands. “Okay.” She straightened up. “Okay! You’re right!”

“That’s the spirit!” Émilie’s eyes glimmered in the dying firelight. “Aww, look at them.” She pointed to the sleeping couple on the couch. “I think we should help get them to bed.”

Ze’ev jerked awake with wild eyes that softened almost immediately as soon as they touched his shoulders, but Scarlet slept soundly on his lap, snoring slightly. He blinked bleariness from his eyes, lifting Scarlet up, cradling her in his arms as he made his way towards their bedroom, her sleeping head lolling, red curls everywhere.

He emerged from their room to turn off the lights and clear up a few glasses. Émilie waved him off. “Go sleep, we can handle it.”

Ze’ev nodded reluctantly, sleep still heavy on his tongue as he invited Émilie to stay overnight if she didn’t want to take oh-so-unreliable Nellie back at this hour. He stumbled towards the closet, mumbled about blankets. Émilie guided him back to bed, a fond smile on her lips. “I know where the blankets are. You just sleep.”

Once the door was shut, they worked quickly and quietly, washing the dishes and pulling out blankets for Émilie’s makeshift bed on the couch.

Before she headed up the stairs, Iko turned to face Émilie. “Thanks for picking me up. And for – everything else.”

“Of course. I’ll see you in the morning?”

“Yeah. Sleep well, Émilie.” She had already wiggled underneath the blankets, only the top of her head sticking out. Iko smiled and shook her head.

In this new world she was trying to navigate, it was nice to have a friend.

[that-marshmallow-boy]

MY FIRST REQUEST! Thank you so much for requesting, @i-am-a-mysticmesschild! I hope they do not disappoint, and I had a ton of fun writing these. ^^ (I included Jaehee because why not.)

✦ZEN:

the first time it happened, he was caught off guard

he had gotten passed over for a role he really wanted

you had tried everything - endless compliments, cooking for him, buying him goldfish shaped bread

he appreciated it all but he was still sad

then you got this idea

suddenly he hears “Are you a man, are you a manly man?”

in the SQUEAKIEST VOICE HE’S EVER HEARD

and then he was laughing why are you so cute??

now you do it every time he’s sad and it never fails

✦Yoosung:

you got into this habit early on

he’d been doing so well in school but he got a bad grade so he was upset

so you snuck up behind him with your squeaky voice, hugging him from behind

“Are you a man, are you a manly man?”

RIGHT IN HIS EAR

he jumped but didn’t hesitate

“I am a manly man!!” yoosung you precious boy

he notices you do it every time now

he even fakes being sad once or twice bc he loves it so much you can always tell but you do it anyway

✦Jaehee:

every once in awhile she’ll get sad and wonder if she made the right decision in taking the risk to follow her dreams

your regular words of encouragement weren’t helping as much as  usual

and you kind of panic

so you blurt out “Are you a man, are you a manly man?” in a high pitched voice

and Jaehee just…

[insert confused emoji] “have you been talking to Saeyoung?”

“I’m sorry that’s just what I always did to cheer my brother up and it slipped out!” how does that just ‘slip out’ seriously

but…she’s smiling you love that smile

and she’s no longer sad but laughing, so now you do it for her all the time and nobody understands but that’s okay

✦Jumin:

one day, he came home upset about his father yet another celebrity gf jfc don’t you ever learn Mr. Han

when even Elizabeth the 3rd and your kisses weren’t cheering him up, you decided to get a bit creative

“Are you a man, are you a manly man?”

what

the question was amusing enough to him, but the voice is what really got to him

what did this come from, is it from one of those meme things?

at first you think it didn’t work but you look and he’s smirking

“Surely you haven’t forgotten just how manly I am”

“Perhaps I should remind you” welp sadness effectively forgotten

it now works every time

✦Saeyoung:

this boy is used to your crazy antics

sometimes you’re even crazier than him

so when he’s in mourning because one of his baby cars breaks down

and he hears your high pitched, squeaky voice say “Are you a man, are you a manly man?”

he isn’t even surprised but he is instantly amused

he loves how bright you always are

“I am a man, I am a manly man!” he doesn’t even miss a beat and his squeaky voice rivals your own

this becomes a habit whenever either one of you is sad tbh

and it always dissolves into a contest of who can make the most ridiculous voice and it always cheers you two up

✦V:

this sweet cinnamon roll gets sad way more than you’d like

he deserves to be so happy

you just want to take care of him tbh but he tries to hide his sad moods bc he’s used to having to be the strong one

so one time you just…pull out your squeaky voice

“Are you a man, are you a manly man?” he was not expecting it

confused the first time

but then he gives you his warm laugh

“Thank you for reminding me of the joy I have in my life” he means you ofc, this boy is Too Pure™

now you do it every time you think he’s sad and he never gets sick of it

✦Saeran:

he’s so much better off than he used to be, but he still gets into his sad moods fairly frequently

it took a few times to find something that worked

he was as surprised as you were when your high pitched “Are you a man, are you a manly man?” got a laugh from him

“You are ridiculous.”

there was no conviction in his voice tbh

it becomes a habit and he pretends not to like it but it works every time so you know he’s lying

sometimes Saeyoung joins in

Saeran does not like that nearly as much

“…Idiot.”