#ANSWER ME BECAUSE SHE WOULDNT BE 15

[3liza]

i get asked a lot if certain breast sizes or shapes are "normal" and let me tell you right now, the answer is basically always "yes"!

we only see one shape of breasts on tv (think C-D cup "HBO titties") and maybe two or three types in porn if you see porn, and maybe 3-4 types in contemporary and historical art. and this sucks because it makes everyone else feel like their boobs are weird. they're probably not weird.

because breasts are made mostly of fat, which is squishy and only partially influenced by muscle and skeletal attachments, they can be basically any size or shape, and they CHANGE more or less constantly throughout your life. they are sensitive to hormonal, environmental, body compositional and pressure-based influences. they will continue to change size and shape until you die. i have a mild collagen disorder which makes me stretchier than other people in some ways and my breasts will change shape visibly if i don't wear a bra for a day. some people's breasts are so dense they wouldnt move at all even if you kept them squished or pulled for many hours at a time. human fat and skin is SO malleable and variable and it's a big reason we're such an interesting-looking species.

this link is a little website with some pictures of SOME different shapes of breasts, and for as varied as it is, it's actually still very limited in scope. it's focused on helping people find bras that fit but you can ignore that part if you want and just get an idea of some different shapes boobs can be, in a non-porn and non-medical context. they can be even more shapes than this. this gallery is intentionally in b&w and has been contrast-balanced to make everyone about the same color but different breast shapes are strongly genetic and will pop up in different locales and lineages. your boobs will often resemble those of your relatives (but not always).

it takes a long time for breasts to reach their "adult" shape, and it happens closer to about age 25-27 for many people than 18-20. a lot of medical literature will repeat the claim that women are "physically mature" by the age of 15-18, and this just isn't really true. if you are on HRT, please keep in mind that the average cis woman can start experiencing hormonal puberty when she's 9-12, and major changes can keep occurring until she's 25 or older. I'm AFAB, and my boobs went through a final growth change when i was 27! and i started the first stages of puberty (way before my first period, which is called "menarche" [men-ARK-ee]) when i was about 9. that's not outside the bounds of normalcy at all, average age of first period is about 12.5 years, and puberty itself starts a few years before that.

some of the later Tanner stages are related to gravity as well as fat accumulation, and sometimes they require a certain period of time to "settle" the very high, pointy puberty breasts down into more adult breast shapes. this takes time. the timelines doctors give HRT patients about breast growth are really weird to me as someone who grew breasts myself. sometimes i see people on HRT get worried about their breast growth not being big enough or adult enough after only a couple years, when the average cis woman's breasts take much longer than that (remember: started age 9, finished age 27!!) to mature and settle, and i just want people to not worry too much. i post about this regularly because i want people to see it. I've heard from many trans women that their actual doctors told them that they would get most or all of their breast growth within 2-3 years. that's not true for everyone, possibly for most people.

and by the way, breasts are almost never perfectly symmetrical. they are sisters, not twins. most people have one breast that's visibly larger if you look closely, and often even if you don't look closely. many people have one breast that's even a cup size larger, or more. some people only grow one breast at all, and don't have fat tissue on the other side. sometimes you start with mostly-matched boobs but they become different over time. all these situations are "normal", in that they occur to many many people and are almost never related to health problems or functional concerns.

[crguang]

always love the violinist au lore drops, omg.

so...was their instructor elio? if so thats crazy. always imagined him playing a stringed instrument (like pulling strings, puppeteer-esque bc he's like manipulating the future idk) so i always pictured him playing like violin, or harp. but also maybe bass bc he's sort of setting everything up and he like tells the future, and his v basic instruction (bc lets be honest they're barely following the script, its v lenient) there just wouldnt be stellaron hunters, and usually basses keep everyone on beat, idk.

btw i've been meaning to ask, how does kafka know blade in this au? like very funny to me how the ppl she's closest to in canon are basically her coworkers 😭

also the angst, like damn. them not rlly knowing each other until they meet again, even tho kafka is literally haunted by their presence, omg. and their instructor being a piece of shit and kafka not rlly realizing until later...i can't. and r being insecure and guilty abt it all, im going to implode. and kafka practicing until her fingers bleed ik her fingers are callused af.

also r not being able to recognize that kafka likes them bc of their insecurities, and kafka wearing sunglasses to hide that bc she thinks its so obvious, I'm gonna die. ik they're so annoying whenever kfr hangs out w acheswan. and kafka inviting r to the opera saying "i have two tickets" like blade isnt right there if she rlly needed someone to go with, and she's rich probably and one ticket doesn't mean much, she's so obvious.

but honestly it'd be kind of embarrassing to admit that u like kafka, shes such a loser. could never imagine admitting to liking kafka like that.../s

my finals also didn't start out very well, but im finishing them up this week and then im free for a month. do think i will fail my last one tho. its like my worst subject and im a pretty bad test taker in the first place, but wtv, it'll totally be fine. I'm sure you'll do good tho

-🌠

oh my god i didnt even think that far but i love this a lot. elio playing a string instrument always felt right but the bass especially would be so good… violin and bass sounds right to me it’s added to the lore 😋

kafka and blade…. once again plugging this insane animation about them because while it wouldnt apply exactly to a modern au, this is the vibe they’ve always given me. like no he didnt try to kill himself in front of her but this sort of chance meeting where each of them goes “oh, this one knows emptiness.” is how i want them to find each other every time. to me, blade might be the person that understands kafka the most and his care for her makes me want to die. they obviously care a lot about each other, they’re the best friends ever for me. implicit understanding of how the other works, long comfortable silences, them going through life together… i cant stand kafblade as a ship but i cant even lie like i get it man. blade’s perception of destiny is full of pain bc he’s left to suffer through it while kafka strives to make it her own wow sorry they mean so much to me. im realizing i havent actually answered your question but thats because i havent thought about it too much hejdjfkg i want her to find him on the side of the road or something. but i believe the stellaron hunters understand kafka best that’s why they’re closest to her even if sometimes it’s not the influence she needs

https://youtu.be/EED6XGHX7DI?si=jE7KkuZtSosG0zbB

kafka with calloused hands is so important to me she’s always wearing gloves now but won’t really wear them when she’s playing the violin because it’s much more intimate that way. UGH r tracing her fingers and knuckles and going over the faded marks there… let’s all cry. hanging out with acheswan and blade has made kafka believe that she’s so obvious she has to wear sunglasses around r for her own sanity but the whole time r is thinking “does she even like me 😣😣😣”, ridiculous. they’re both so stupid it’s really insane that it took them almost 15 years to get together like what’s wrong with them.

“i have two tickets” = i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you—

i would never tell kafka i like her i don’t think this is information she needs to have… it’d be obvious tho and she’d manipulate the shit out of me because of it but thats ok this is literally me

hope your finals arent too hard bc mine are definitely not going well so far hdhdjfkg but its fine we’ll live to write gp!kafka smushots during winter break

[brains5ana]

zombie blog turn around!!

this is my personal blog about my anorex14 and depression this is both my safe space where i can cope with my life right now and my way of documenting this disorder in case i dont survive it so that my loved ones or anyone who wants them might get some answers.

₊˚⊹ 𐂯please dont interact if you are not already disordered or are in recovery. block dont report this is really all i have .₊˚⊹ 𐂯

life rn - mom died in august now im taking care of my 15 yo autistic sibling and household because my dad is abusive and doesnt really parent. my grandparents help take care of them sometimes but they dont live with us and are televangelists who try to convert us(my sibling is pagan). my sibling is awesome but its a lot to take care of them while grieving so much and i worry about them a ton.

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

me ୧ ‧₊˚ 🥩🦴 ⋅

17 they/them bi and taken veryyy happily dni creeps

bg - grew up in poverty w pretty bad parents (i love my mom a lot but she was young and fucked me up a little bit as a young kid mostly she was good but our relationship was kind of complicated for while). got bullied really bad from elementary school till quarantine when i was in middle school. my dads a redneck and my mom was a hippie now my dads like a frat bro?? and hes insane.

alternative (riot grrl goth punk etc) i like music(esp live punk shows), painting, writing, horror movies, ZOMBIES

political activist mostly w the environment but also general big leftist

white, able bodied (maybe) hindu vaishnavite

im very mentally ill and have had suicidal thoughts and depression my whole life. diagnosed cptsd, ptsd, chronic depression, generalized anxiety disorder, ana suspected adhd

my ed - got bullied for my weight and started trying to lose weight in 5th grade. i went to a nutritionist in 6th grade who told me to count calories so i did and then i went lower and lower and lower seeing how little i could consume in a day(i also started having an exercise addiction then). in 7th grade i started doing intermittent fasting and restricting below what you need to live in retrospect. then quarantine happened and i started looking at ana tips. id sleep all day until 4 pm to avoid food and workout at night. i got to my lw and was plateauing and worrying about dying so i told my very shitty therapist at the time who told me i wasnt low enough to have an ed but still told my mom who got me an appointment w an ed doctor. and there started my forced recovery bc the ed doctor told me i definitely did have ana and wouldnt have survived another month or two. after resisting for a long time and trying to secretly relapse i gave in. and it worked, i fully recovered. i didnt get thoughts i was happy and didnt have to lose weight anymore. and then people started treating me badly and a girl who was in my friend group started making fun of me for being fat and i realized i cant deal with that and everything else. so im 40 lbs down and trying to loose more.

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

this blog ୧ ‧₊˚ 🥩🦴 ⋅

BYF - this is an ed bl0g w triggering content do whats best for you i cant facilitate everyones recovery but it is possible and waiting for everyone

DNI - 14 y/o and younger, those interested in recovery (you can so do it i believe in you), creeps, p3d0s, p0rn accounts, fatphobes (fuck off and die), terfs, transphobes, etc

this is a number free blog for the most part and if not ill tag #tw ed numbers or #tw ana numbers

on here ill post wieiads, b0dy checks, collages, diet plans for myself, themed moodboards, a lot of zombie content.

i use the tag #brains4ana or #brains4ana4vent for vent posts (if im coherent enough to care)

other ongoing tws - meat, cannibalism(all the zombie stuff) alcohol addiction, nicotine addiction, mentions of sh, ed (duh)

[romchat]

following up on my prior ask! i found the luyang arc pivotal for xff and xh (i mean, who wouldnt? we got that beautiful rain scene!), but so much of their conversations confused me because of the way they use metaphors and dance around answers! i apologize if i come off as spamming ur inbox, lol!

some things i wanted to understand more:

-ep 16 tearoom: when xff talks about him inviting her over after every "show" and how what he says is apathetic but always hits the mark and makes her in debt. but now hes showing his cards and asks him if he wants to join?

ep 17 in the rain: when she says "you never tell the truth" and he says "what about you? even after drinking you havent told the truth once" what is she referring to? him i can kinda guess but her? idk!

-ep 17 eating dumplings: when xff offers to invite him to watch a play (her helping the ye family) and he says "i dont watch plays" why is he mad?! lol and why does she respond "if you like these buns and want them in the future, ill settle everything" when he says that when its found out to be a "misunderstanding" who does she think has to take the blame (referring to himself as he would tip them off)

-ep 18 eating dumplings (again): when she asks about how he tried cases in the past and he tells her she doesnt have to make him put up an act before she confesses? where did this come from? did i forget something in the past?? and then even more... "today onward, i am once again despised by everyone" what does he mean? when wasnt he? why does she respond with luyang is beautiful and the night duty is coming??

idk theres so much i think i grasp but then i relisten to it and confuse myself lmao! theres definitely more (like the huixiang pawn speech she had with him) but the luyang parts im most interested in! so sorry that this is so long and such word vomit!! thank you so much if u do take the time to respond! i think you have such a good comprehension and a way with words that seriously has added to my enjoyment of this show SO much more. thank you!!!!!

I welcome all word vomits but oh boy you're really stretching my memory here 😂

Ep. 16 Tearoom

Fangfei is still annoyed at Duke Su because of her jealousy over seeing him with another woman at the brothel in Episode 15. In that episode, she had assumed he was following her to Luyang but then thought differently once she saw him with Wu Lan. I think her calling out his sudden "apathy" is essentially her implicitly asking if their odd little relationship has changed (i.e., why are you acting differently?). Which is why he asks:

Duke Su: Are you getting angry at me? Fangfei: Can't I? Duke Su: Your words are really pleasant then. (smiles)

He just confirmed that she's behaving the way she is because she's jealous, which is why he finds her words "pleasant". So he reassures her by telling her who Wu Lan is even though she has nothing to do with Fangfei's dealings with the Ye family--he's like a husband keeping his wife informed about his struggles at work lol

Ep. 17 In the Rain

He's referring to her real identity as Fangfei (which he's known about for a while but wants to hear directly from her about) and I believe she's referring more generally to all his private dealings, which keeps entangling him in her plots (e.g., General Biao, who they had that drinking competition with).

Ep. 17 Dumplings

This was the day after Fangfei's drunken flirtatiousness in the rain so my guess is that he was fishing for her to reveal her true feelings about him ("does that mean you remember what happened that night?") and he gets frustrated when she friend-zones him by wanting his help for her scheming versus talking about this shift in their relationship. Especially since one of the last times they talked about theater, it was when he tricked her into being his cover during the theater attack and she told that him that she now clearly sees what their relationship actually is. Her talking about the theater after their almost kiss probably feels like taking one step forward and two steps back for him!

But Fangfei's "If you like these buns, I'll settle everything" is ultimately her asking for his help to execute her plan and trying to settle the score. Remember, at this point in the drama, she's always counting how much he helps her so she can pay him back and not have to owe him. (Which is why one of my favorite flirting moments of theirs is in Episode 16 when he swoops in during her drinking competition and tells her that his help won't be put on her tab.)

Ep. 18 Dumplings Part Deux

Oh that's just another flirtatious way of giving Duke Su permission to ask her questions about her real identity! By this episode, he's interrogated her at the nunnery as well as his residence but they're always interrupted and/or she leaves when he gets too personal. She's telling him she's willing to share more about herself because of how much he has helped her up to this point.

I'm not quite sure what "today onward, I am once again despised by everyone" refers to (maybe if the palace finds out how he has helped Fangfei given that I think at this point he knows of Princess Wanning's involvement in Fangfei's death?) but I wonder if Fangfei's night duty comment is her reflecting on how even though she just experienced momentary success there is still a long road of challenges ahead of her. That's why Duke Su reassures her that she's strong and a survivor ("right now, all the lights in Luyang are on. If you were a restless spirit, you would have long been reduced to ashes") and she promises him that she "will live on well."

--

Hope these ramblings were helpful!

[thealogical]

goddd thank u im so glad u agree the finale waa bad.

like yeah ruby had no arc. she had huge fears of abandonment - but turns out her biomum loved her and named her and immidately reconnects when she finds out. wouldnt it be stronger to have her biomum not want her, or to suck, or to be dead or something? and ruby could learn that shes worthy all on her own?

also why is ruby finding her biomum not connected to 15s struggles with his own "adoption"?

and the show is like ohhh you were stupid for ever thinking theres something supernatural about rubys mum she's not important/special!! like we all only thought she was special bc the show told us that!

the season as a whole theres a huge lack of the doctor like. looking at clues and figuring them out (so we can understand him as a character). like he does it in ep1-3 and 7 lots but theres so much of the series where he does nothing! we dont see him figure out he needs the outside metal, we're just suddenly in a scene about him getting it. we dont see him and ruby figure out a plan to defeat sutekh, they did that offscreen!

also making sutekh destroy all life and then they bring it back easily is unsatisfying yknow? have them work to stop him killing everyone! have them do things (like in sutekhs original episode pyramids of mars).... instead of giving the doc and ruby stupid plot armour.

and sutekh being wrapped around the tardis since the 4th doctor is such a strange and baffling retcon lmao

anyway god sorry this is long im just glad u also didnt like the finale bc so many ppl on here have been praising it and i dont get it

I know this ask is pretty old and at the time I agreed with you but I couldn't really think of much more to say. Looking through my inbox and seeing it today though made me reflect on the writing again and you touch on some problems that I've been feeling with the show even more since watching the new Christmas special.

Nothing is set up properly, our heroes aren't shown figuring anything out, and the pacing is all over the place.

When the show was first revived it followed a classic, serial, monster of the week style formula. The Doctor and companion(s) arrive in a place which contains some sort of threat. The setting is explored by our protagonists and hints at the threat are dropped slowly, increasingly building tension until the identity of the threat is revealed and the rest of the episode is dedicated to running from the monster and figuring out how to beat it. I can't speak for Moffat and Chibnall's time as showrunners, but this is how the average episode goes from series 1 to series 4.

This format is well-paced, it has set up and pay off, and it's compelling because the viewer is always along for the ride. We figure out the episode's mysteries at roughly the same pace as our heroes because the writers gives us roughly the same information that they give the protagonists.

The new episodes pretty consistently fail at these fundamental principles. There is often a great disparity in knowledge between the protagonists and the audience.

Why are all these accidents happening around Ruby? It's Goblins that feed of accidents, which the Doctor already figured out off screen.

Why is all the music gone now? Oh wait we already saw at the beginning of the episode, its Maestro. Guess we have to wait for the Doctor and Ruby to figure it out. How are they gonna beat them? Oh like they have to play a special chord, a fact they figure out randomly and then the Beatles do it for them I guess.

Oh man how's the Doctor gonna get off this landmine? Ah an AI ghost fixes it for him cool.

Who is this mysterious woman following Ruby and why is everyone who interacts with her changing like this? Lol lmao the writers couldn't think of any answers so I guess we'll never know.

Wow, how are the Doctor and Ruby gonna beat Sutekh? They figure it out off-screen. RTD seemingly wanted to prove he could be just as much of a hack as Moffat with this one.

How is the Doctor going to save Joy and deal with this ominous briefcase? We get a whole montage about his life while he does this, and he still fucking figures it out off-screen goddamn you Steven Moffat.

These episodes feel too fast paced and unsatisfying to watch because they're all pay off, no set up. We barely get a chance to figure things out, because nothing is established. In episodes where we do get sections of slow build up, we usually either already have the answers that our protagonists are looking for, or the build up was pointless and the characters figure out how to win by magic. The pacing in many episodes is exhausting because you're being given a million questions and none of them are answered, our heroes just figure it out off screen or suddenly by magic and the show has to play you some overbearing dramatic music to tell you how important the moment is because the writing does nothing to invest you in the plot.

I was hoping for a return to form from this series, but it seems like we're just getting more smug nonsense. It's really disappointing.

[lady-of-the-spirit]

tagged by @goldheartedchaoticdisaster thank you bestie ❤❤❤

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

55!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

183,074

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The short answer is basically "whichever one I'm feeling".

the longer answer is: Arata the Legend, the MCU (specifically my own OC content and Eternals), Good Omens, The Old Guard, The Wicked + The Divine, A Discovery of Witches/All Souls Trilogy, Doctor Who, Ted Lasso (in theory, so far) and like... other stuff I can't think of right now that I haven't published but still write for, and other stuff I have written fics for but wouldnt say I "write" for the fandom.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Okay

Rotten Work

Ethereal

First Word

everybody wants someone (i want to be somebody)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Or I try to - I try to respond to every comment people leave, even if it's only a heart emoji or a 'thank you'. Because I want to show them I see them and appreciate them!!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Toss up between "no home sweet and no sweet home" with Joan having to run away from an abusive household in the middle of the night to a life of just constant running and loneliness she's not emotionally prepared for after having a relatively normal life and "my heart is a stone, my body is not my own" with Yataka dealing with years of blackmail, sexual assault and noncon suddenly being exposed to everyone by one of his abusers and just refusing to talk about it at all and rejecting the (admittedly flawed) attempt at comfort shown to him (points for being a fic I wanted to end with comfort and instead became my first hurt/no comfort).

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It's hard to choose but I'm gonna say probably First Word (link above) because. I mean how does it get better than Human!Ten, Donna and Jenny being a little family together and Jenny's first word being Donna's name and Ten being absolutely in love with his girls-

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh I did like, back when I was 13. My ATLA OC fic got cyberbullied by some dude on tumblr, who copy&pasted whole chapters of my fic and then would go through the chapter and add shitty comments.

The only good thing about that situation was that he even added a whole post to express his confusion that all the comments on my fic were positive. everyone else was loving it. and then he apparently needed to ruin me and left his own comment telling me he was reviewing my fic. which of course led to a shock and some hurt feelings but uh, seeing him annoyed at everyone else liking the fic helped lmao now I can look back on it with amusement like what was going on with that guy that he felt the need to harass a 13 year old.

I also got another comment on the same fic accusing me of plagiarizing their fic and OC because both my oc and hers could bend 2 elements and had sort of similar names and when I went to read her fic it was so completely different from my own I had to LAUGH.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've attempted it a few times but I really don't know what I'm doing with it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've never written a whole crossover - I admit I did start an au fic where all different studio ghibli characters were in the story of Anastasia the movie, but it did not get super far before I stopped.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

luckily no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but if anyone ever asked I wouldn't say no!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Oh my god.... I mean as hard as it is to choose it's gotta be TenDonna. like platonically, romantically, a secret third thing, they are amazing together and I love them so much.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I try to never say I'll never finish a fic, but there's one for certain I don't think I'll ever finish, Prince Mononoke - a role swap au of Princess Mononoke. I was writing it for years and had my grandma proofread every chapter before publishing. I put it on hiatus for years, but then she died, and it didn't feel right to keep going.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I feel I write dialogue really well. I try my best to hit the right voice for every character and I think I do a good job at it. And honestly it's hard for me to not write dialogue like half the time I'm like can you guys shut up already and progress the plot with actions instead-

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not as poetic as I'd like to be, I guess. Like. some writers are just fucking masters with words and I feel like I'm stammering. I'm also not super confident in writing romance - like, pining, or friendly relationship with a splash of romance for fun? I've got that. Actual romantic relationships? Not so much.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If I do, I use google translate and hope for the best, but usually I don't. Ethereal has a lot of Canadian French in it because Marianne is from Quebec, but I use my sister (a French Immersion student) as my translator.

I mean I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Like, use the best translator website you can find and hope for the best.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

If we want to get really technical it was for The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, before I even knew fanfic was a thing. If we want to be specific to published fic, it was Avatar the Last Airbender.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

UGHHHH HOW DO I CHOOSE

honestly I have no way to choose. So I'm simply not going to lol

tagging: @dani-luminae @sighonaraa @altschmerzes @jamietarttsnorthernattitude @fallenangelontheceiling @vinatintasupernovita @strangelock221b @mousedetective @linguini17 and like, anyone who wants to do this!!!! it's fun :)

[dykentery]

for the ask thing, will you do all multiples of 5? :)

5. what made you start your blog? okay. so the answer to this ultimately is "because my closest friend when i was 12 used the site" BUT actually i wouldnt have even known what tumblr was if she hadnt had the "tweet every time you make a post" webhooks turned on which is way funnier in retrospect.

10. would you say you’re an emotional person? reasons i have cried in the last 48 hours: - finding out the word "pub" is short for public house - a (very sweet) drawing i was given - exhaustion - being told that my friend learned how to walk at a bed and breakfast her parents ran - being told that same friend keeps saying "thank you i got it from a very dear friend" every time she gets complimented on a jacket i gave her - [sad reason] - a simpsons episode from season 7. not saying which one

15. what do you think of when you hear the word “home”? my yiayia

20. favourite things about the night? the stars, even when i can't see them

25. fave season and why? answered this one here

30. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier? my girlfriend making me breakfast

35. do you trust easily? i don't trust easily, but i do easily give the chance to earn my trust.

40. any bad habits? this owuld be an even longer list than the emotional person one.

questions | askbox

[musubiki]

Sorry if this has been answered before, but I just don't know where to find it... how is Coco like in a fight? What does she use? What is her role?

Because I get that Mochi is like the support that can deal magical damage, Lime is the main damage dealer who can tank magic, oscar is a more general tank, and i dunno, is Taffy some sort of aoe damage dealer? Or is that conditional? I'm curious to know how they're like in a group fight.

OOOO NO TOO RIGHT I ACTUALLY DONT THINK I TALK ABOUT IT MUCH!!!!!! i always mean to do some kind of like...poms guide to tcwg focusing on the guilds actual abilities, but i never get around to it (besides talking about mochi and lime always being able to kick ass) but yes!!! let me talk about a quick rundown of everyone else!!!

first off, in general, all the guild members have combat ability to some degree!! the idea is that they each would be able to reasonably handle themselves in a fight on their own, so to an extent they can all be considered damage dealers, but for members like coco and oscar they can serve a slightly more supportive role if theres other damage people like lime or taffy around!! but!! coco and oscar can also do damage!!

coco:

her magic item ends up being her shoes!! essentially, shes the speedy flash/quicksilver type of power where she can move very quickly. the mechanics of it is that when she activates it, she has 5 seconds where everything around her slows down A LOT and she can move normally (which then translates to her moving insanely fast in like 1 second in real time), and then a 3 second cooldown before she can use it again. as mochis magic grows, this power grows too and eventually she is able to upgrade it to 10 (maybe 15) seconds of quick movement with a 3 second cooldown.

in an actual fight, this can have uses in several ways: 1) dodging, obviously, or escaping. 2) power: sometimes she just straight up uses all her seconds to just beat the shit out of someone, which in real time translates to you receiving like 10 aggregated punches to the face all at once. seems like this would be less useful than it sounds but she has downed taffy more than once just by (what looks like to mochi and lime) a punch to the gut, but in reality was like 12 punches to the gut all at once. 3) thievery: VERY easy to steal shit from people when they have no time to react. an example of this is her stealing marshals stopwatch mid-fight and he doesnt notice until its time to reset it and its gone. ANYWAY she has a lot of uses!!!! when shes on her own she makes use of the power function more, but around taffy/mochi/lime shes much better served as a supportive role.

post-timeskip she ALSO gets the ability to ......how to describe this.....create platforms under her feet? like if she needed to to the top of the building she could just. walk. as if there was a staircase there. the platforms she makes last for ~15 seconds so theoretically she could "create" "steps" for the rest of the guild to follow

oscar:

in oscars case, he gets two separate magic items. pre-timeskip (or pre-arm i guess i should say), he has the cat witch's medallion-- mochi only has one, and it has protective properties so oscar is much more of a defensive role in the pre-timeskip!! she gave it to him because his reckless stubborn ass wouldnt stop going into the giants thicket and almost got fucked up by the forrest spirits more than once, so she gives him this as a symbol of "under the protection of the cat witch, do not fuck with"

but basically put its more of a shielding item!! its a little different than the rest of the guilds items in that it directly draws its power from mochis magic!! it creates protective barriers, but with oscars mind he can use that for more than just barriers (he uses it for all sorts of things that are not directly protective in nature. imagine a fight where the opponent can constantly put up and take down and move around walls that cant be destroyed. theoretically capable of turning someone to jelly if they get caught between them)

after amanita rips his arm off (rest in peace, oscars dominant hand), and after some time passing for the quest to take place, mochi gets him the arm of Camongyf-- an artifact from the kingdom of the first witch king that can be considered an upgrade from the medallion!! its actually not horribly dissimilar from limes m34th weapon in the sense that it was the first kind of technology/magic fusion weapon. basically can make use of either technology or magic depending on the situation, and its also capable of drawing on mochis magic to make those magic energy weapons mochi uses!! so post-timeskip (and post-arm) he has a lot more combat capability, but still tends to drift towards the sheilding/protective uses!! also, the arm he uses was once actually the crow witchs artifact, so it has wings built in that he can use

taffy:

obviously taffys magic is water magic, and he has a 100% combat role. as the water mage, he technically has unlimited use of water and ice, so he CAN do things that are not technically combat, but most of his magic use is in a fight. water magic historically and traditionally is meant to be elegant, peaceful, smooth, like water bending kind of magic. taffy however was never taught properly and the only way he knows how to use it is how he learned by experience and desperation, so his water magic is very rough, chaotic, unrefined, but equally very terrifying and powerful. kind of like the difference between a calm and glassy shoreline ocean vs the ocean in the deep sea where waves are 40 feet high and will kill anything above the surface

water magic can do.......most anything. whatever he can think of. he can make ice weapons, he can wrap you in water and suspend you until you drown, he can freeze you, sink you, impale you, force water into all your orifices and blow you up like a balloon if he wanted to.,,, he can ALSO do AOE damage just by the nature of water-can-do-whatever-i-want-it-to-do

this is also scary when hes paired up with lime (pre-timeskip) with the thunderbat, because it gets like that mechanic in botw where you use lighting weapons in rain/water and it becomes AOE lightning damage (of which doesnt hurt lime because of the resistance)

something also to keep in mind about taffy is that as the water mage, his magic follows slightly different rules than a normal mage, and one of those quirks is that resistance.......doesnt really mean anything against him. since water is considered a natural element and while CONTROLLING it is magic, the element itself is not ACTUALLY magic. ie, limes resistance doesnt play a factor in a taffy fight. those who cannot be hurt by magic can still be drowned and impaled.

that being said taffy is absolutely terrible at hand-to-hand. he relies so much on the water magic, even at close range, that if you can somehow get to a point where you can land PHYSICAL BLOWS on him, thats it. which is why cocos power is so good against him because shes too fast for him to keep her away, and when she DOES land blows it packs a mean punch

as far as a group fight, i havent payed much attention to synergy!! theoretically they would all be good together in different combinations and just using their abilities differently, but at some point i would like to see all of them paired together to see what kind of cool things they come up with hehe

[lonely-north-star]

if i had a nickel for every time a group of girls knocked our fucking door off the hinges/sliding mechanism, I'd have two nickels, which is weird FUCKED UP it happened twice

I'm FUCKING LIVID AND I FUCKING DARE !!!! I FUCKING DARE THEM TO SAY SOME SHIT ABOUT HIW I CLOSED !!!! NO ONE COULD COME IN ON A BUSY FUCKING NIGHT, SEVEN PEOPLE WOULD NOT FUCKNG LEAVE ONCE IT HIT NINE !!! YOUR TIME IS UP Y'ALL !!! GTFO

the last ten min like

one group of three dropped a bottle of paint all over th floor, put it back on the shelf, and ran away (they were taking forever and would not come up front 🤓 yeah yeahhh keep talking shit in spanish Cowards.)

the other group of girls broke the door trying to leave (AFTER WE'VE BEEN CLOSED 15 MIN), like where rhe fuck was the sense of urgency when i was trying to help you find shit huh. HUH. I pointed you in every fucking direction and helped you pick shit out and you want to laugh as you drive away? i hope gas prices are always high and you never find close parking and any classes you want to take are always full like UUURUREHHH

and then the last woman !!!! wouldn't fucking come up to the front either !!!! the other two groups had finally made it and she was still shopping like GIRL. GET YOUR ASS UP THERE. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WAITED TILL THE LAST MINUTE. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA SAY "sorry I know you're closing" AND KEEP SHOPPING TEN MINUTES AFTER I TELL YOU WE'RE CLOSED

pissed pissed pissed thank fuck I don't work tomorrow and i knewww it was going to be this way

and i left four orders to be packed for tomorrow's people but i dare them to say some shit when i do so much for everyone else without being asked because?? wouldn't you want to help your team ???Wouldnt you want to make things easier ???? tired im so tired and im sorry bc i feel guilty af for leaving that (co manager does it all the time and the store still looks like shit)

like fuck for me being by myself for 6 hours till close doing orders, cutting fabric, three carts of returns, helping the cashier, unlocking spray paint and answering everyone's questions. that store looked pretty fucking nice, considering everything.

that group of girls literally dropped t shirts on the ground and made a mess everywhere they went like. do you not feel ashamed. what the fuck. it's just a job yeah yeah but jesus that broke me

SO :3 anyone says shit i may just quit on the spot (guess who missed their three year work anniversary that was five days ago apparently)

[grzlyinc]

HELTER SKELTER (2012) REVIEW!!

(includes spoilers)

i watched this film for the first time two days ago and it is seriously good. important warning before anyone dicides to watch this with their parents or anyone you dont want to watch two or three graphic sex scenes with. I was like ooh a psychological thriller, my mum loves psychologica thrillers! i learned fhe hard way that the 15 rating was generous.

starting off with set! this film has some truly great set designs. so incredibly 2012 if that makes any sense to anyone but me. the ones that particularly stand out to me are as followsss:

-the bathtub scene, oh my goodness it looks perfect. the petals, the colours. wow this movie uses colour so well it really does, the reds pop so much.

-Lilicos apartment in general honestly. i adore the giant rosary hanging from her mirror and just AHHHH its so perfect

-the podium near the end. this is so different to alot of the sets that are sort of poorly lit and crowded. its so empty in an unnerving way, and the fact there are so many microphones and cameras for just lilico stood alone at the front its just so perfect for this scene it put you on edge

-this is just a comment on the scene in general but the shop window where she cries and gets rained on and yadda yadda yadda. beautiful scene in a depressing kind of way, the way the lights make the rain appear red and gold is so nice

SPEAKING OF CAMERAS woweeeee this movie uses camera flashes and sounds really well. dont get me wrong lilico is crazy and most of the things she does i HOPE most people wouldnt do, but the way they often hyperbolise how loud amd bright the cameras are really makes you think wow id go crazy too. near the beginning she says “everytime the shutter clicks its like my brain is melting out my ears” (may not be exactly what she says but you get the idea) and honestly she might be right about that.

COSTUMESSSS okay wow. my favourites have to be her final outfit when it is revealed she is still alive. the eyepatch? ate. the dress? incredible. what i said before about the REDSSS! red is just her colour.

anyway now some stuff about the actual movie and not just the aesthetics. i spent alot of it feeling so so bad for Hada. But then hada just continued to do her bidding and at the end of the day, if she had quit, what would lilico even have been able to do about it? Hada is aware lilico is nothing without her so why not just leave? so then i kind of stopped feeling quite so bad. i think a sane person would quit once it got to acid throwing territory.

Plot wise i think its great, i do think that this movie would not be made the same now, because a key part of the story is that once people find out about her surgery, they all hate her, which i suppose does happen but not really on the same level. these days its become the default that a celebrity has had plastic surgery and its a suprise if they HAVENT, but also i wouldnt know if celebrity culture and plastic surgery are the same in japan as they are here so maybe this hasnt changed as much there

when lilico stabbed her eye onstage my first thought was “well would that even kill her?”. but then i thought “its a movie. it looked good for the scene that way, movies arent always accurate” and guess what. she wasnt dead. my second thought was “why was there no security at a such a huge press event? why did no one do anything when she pulled out the knife? why did no one move a muscle when she stabbed herself or even when she fell?” but i guess because the scene with the feathers wouldnt have looked so good. which is a good enough answer for me.

i was slightly confused to what her plans were at the end because she revealed the fact the was alive to kozue but where was she going to go from there? just go back into her career like nothing happened? how the hell is that going to work? i guess she isnt the most foreward thinker but still. i loved this ending but it left me with alot of questions, but i suppose they didnt need to be answered. also this movie was seriously long which i loved but if it had gone on for any longer my mother would have gone to bed.

this is a poorly organised review i know, but i wanted to get my first post out the way, in the future i will plan and organise! but anyway. i live this movie and i seriously recommend but also am sorry if you read this before watching because you got alot of it spoilt.

-GRZLY

[namelessinwonderland]

TW: mention of SH, depression and drugs

yesterday i went to pride around 10:15AM and the 10 miserable hours that transpired after my initial arrival left me questioning my will to live...

it started fine, i took a lap around the whole pride festival to look at all the vendors and collect the mass amount of free stickers, pins, flyers and info all the booths were handing out. Afterwards there wasnt really anything else to do at the festival but i was stuck there. i was dropped off there and the person who dropped me off was busy. i couldnt walk home because it was too far, i couldnt use public transportation again because of the distance, uber was too expensive, so i had to wait.

slowly through the day i got more overwhelmed and began to freak out. it was hot, i was crowded and self-conscious. then someone i knew there asked me if i had a boyfriend so i had to explain that he left me !!!!! :( so that was depressing. then seeing all the couples and happy people everywhere made me overthink and feel very self-deprecating.... i was beginning to spiral tbh. especially when i ran into the person i went on that really bad date with the other day, i walked up to them and said hi and they literally gave me a awkward smile and walked straight away from me!!!!!!!! WHAT?! dude what did i do wrong to get that reaction?????!!!!!!!!!!! so that whole interaction just really piled on top of how i was already feeling.

around 6PM is when i reached my lowest point. i was feeling unloved, unwanted, disgusted with myself. i desperately needed to escape my brain. i wanted to self-harm. it was something i felt i needed to do. i had no way of self-harming while i was there, but i could get high. i started smoking but it wasnt enough....

i want coke.

it popped into my mind and once it was there it wouldnt leave. i havent had any in a long time and i dont know where i could get any. so i was getting anxious, head spinning. "where could i get some? who could i text? who do i know?" i messaged the only person i knew that could get me some, shes the one who introduced it to me. but shes sober now and told me the first time i ever had any that if i became addicted she wouldnt give me more or tell me her plug. which i guess is nice but....... i really needed some. just a little. she didnt respond.

im calm now and not so depressed at this moment but it was eye-opening. being in such a low moment with no one to turn to. i called 6 people. 1 answered. 4 live out of state. 2 live 15 mins away from me however 1 of them is moving across the country in 2 weeks.

i feel alone. i have no one.

[musicoftheheart]

once i was talking to this girl that a mutual friend had set me up with and we were getting along really well and shared loads of similar interests but i wasnt quite feeling it so when she asked what i read i told her i read fanfiction because i didnt really mind if that blew it and immediately she curled her lip and said "oh god not wattpad" so i corrected her, laughing, and said i use ao3 which reassured her so i then asked what she read and she told me about this book series she was enjoying

i bought the first book in the series to give it a go and i kid you not it was pretty much just published wattpad fanfiction. let me break it down for you:

the female lead was (and i honest-to-god quote) "not like other girls". she was physically behind in puberty despite being 15/16, yknow flatchested, no curves, hadnt had her period etc. she was small (5'0) and from a poor and abusive family and got bullied in school so had to transfer; in book 1 of the series shes officially the new girl in school. she knows absolutely nothing of sports (important in a moment) and does not play. one scene shows her cowering from a ball in P.E.

the male lead comes from a rich family, is an upcoming professional player for the country's rugby team, and the popular jock of the school. he is 2 years older than her (17/18), 6'5, "hot", and fawned over by everyone. he has an injury that he keeps secret because it could end his career, but she finds out and its a thing (i dont remember much of that plotline).

half of the book is her being all "kshfkshf oh but im not like other girls, why would he ever want little old me when he has all these girls whove gone through puberty flirting with him" and hes all "she is so tiny and small and delicate, i must protect her at all costs with my massive masculinity." they both get constantly warned away from each other by friends etc.

some bits of the book i remember: he hits her with a rugby ball and she flashes her privates to the whole school rugby team because apparently she doesnt wear underwear to school?? thats how they meet. she showers at his house twice for some reason. she wears his boxers like a pair of long shorts because shes just so smol and his joggers wouldnt fit and his boxers are just so big on her that they work as shorts. im pretty sure they have sex while shes 15 and after he turns 18. his bitchy ex gf is a bitch to her because teenage girls. her dad is abusive towards her because she is a girl and therefore is too tiny and helpless to defend herself. from what i can tell from the wiki page, in a later book he gets her out of the abusive home? idk, it says all of her siblings are his foster siblings and his parents are her adoptive parents, so thats what i assume from that.

there is undoubtedly so much more that ive forgotten since i read it, but even just that much is enough to make me think of wattpad. there were moments when i read the book where i had to actually put it down and pause for a moment because of how much it resembled a reader insert fanfic and i wish i could remember them exactly because it was just- it was gold.

going back to the girl who recommended the series: i read the first book and she asked what i thought of it. apparently pointing out its similarities to a y/n wattpad fic was not the correct answer, because she ghosted me a few days later :)

[thatdesklamp]

Hey! I hope you are doing well this week!!

I’ve become absolutely obsessed with Gojo’s POVs , I think the way you write him is so fascinating. I really like seeing how we get Hebi’s POV and then see Gojo’s reactions to what we read.

This will be so long, im so so sorry. Thank you for taking the time to read.

I just wanted to come in here and muse/ask questions about Gojo and his good ol’ thoughts.

My first question/musing is: When do you think Gojo actually started to realize that he had feelings for Hebi. I felt like he had feelings for Hebi before chapter 15 (2010), but it seemed as if he reacted to the idea of Hebi wanting to fall in love with two different reactions. The first one to me is that he’s offended that Hebi wouldnt ever tell him about any crushes she has had (why would she, shes had a crush on the same man since she was 14). To me, Gojo just felt super offended that Hebi keeps relationship stuff like that under-wraps. The second reaction is that he could finally(?) let himself have hope that him and Hebi could work out, that he isnt just yearning for something that isnt possible. Its like a confusing mix between the two, which I thought was super interesting.

Maybe I’m reading into Gojo’s actions wrong but I’m completely sure the shoulder injury moment where he’s just hovering over and healing her was NOT COMPLETELY INNOCENT. I also think the part during the beach vacation where Gojo is smiling at Hebi when she has her gloves removed also romantically coded. I’m just so intrigued in what Gojo is thinking because Im so sure Hebi is completely in her own head 24/7 and doesnt even register some moments.

He’s so interesting to see through Hebi’s eyes, you did such a great job with him as a character.

Feel free not to answer this one since its slightly more NSFW and about chapter 17 (im just super curious). I will not be too explicit in my wording so sorry if its worded weirdly?

I’m curious if Gojo has ever thought about Hebi while he’s doing the act like Hebi did in chapter 17 (2012). Hebi seems to be doing it casually and she doesnt even care about the thing that shes doing, but I wonder if Gojo has done it. In chapter 16, it seems like he was super focused in on Hebi despite him having a girl who has been paying attention to him (assumingely kissing him, etc). Does Gojo try and not think about Hebi that way, does he even realize that she may feel the same towards him and he’s resisting because of what he did to her when they were 15? I’m more on the inbetween of the two ideas I presented. I think Gojo really, really cares for her romantically but absolutely refuses that she feels the same because of everything that he did to her, how he broke her trust. It feels as if he’s punishing himself for his past actions. Maybe Hebi is a little obvious with her unforgiving nature she has with that incident.

I’m just so curious these two characters seem so intune and out of tune with each other and they keep missing each other on important feelings and thoughts

What happens in chapter 17 seems like Hebi is disassociating too, that shes not even there. I just feel so bad for everyone in that chapter, its so horrifying. I do hope that Hebi and her boyfriend get outta that relationship next chapter because Im sure both of them can tell it isnt working out.

thank you again for reading, you crafted such an amazing story.

Ok so here’s the thing—in my head I definitely know when I think Gojo started having feelings for Hebi, as it’s when I started writing him as having feelings for her. But idk, I’ve always been more reluctant to spell it out so explicitly, as the author, because I love the ambiguity that comes from only having one POV and I also love hearing other people’s theories and ideas. Seeing the different ways things have been interpreted is honestly one of the best things about writing for ao3 and I’ve always been so hesitant to squash that by putting in my own opinion?

And so I guess this is all one big disclaimer: just because I say stuff on the side like this, it doesn’t really make it ‘canon’ or any more worthwhile than your own interpretations? I’m such a huge advocate for ‘death of the author’ (more detail in the link below if you’re interested), that basically says the reader’s interpretation trumps the author’s intention all the time, no matter what.

Sure, I might have started writing him as being in love with her since 2006 (I didn’t, btw). However, if I didn’t convey that well enough, or if you can find enough evidence or ‘vibes’ that would disprove that, and indicate something else, then you fucking go for it. That’s your canon.

I hope that makes sense. Tl;dr, listen to me if you’d like and if you’re interested in my intentions, but don’t listen to me/don’t pay attention if you think it’ll sour your own interpretation, or if you think I’m the ultimate god on any of this. (I’m not, no matter what Ian McEwan in ‘Atonement’ tries to say—“how can a novelist reach atonement when, with her absolute power of deciding outcomes, she is also God?” blah blah blah whatever, if you haven’t heard already this is an Ian McEwan hate page)

ANYWAY. On to the actual fanfic discussion LOL. The English lit girlie in me takes over sometimes, sorry.

My actual intentions, revealed!! I’ve discussed it in comments, more ambiguously than now, but one of the big debates around Gojo’s feelings seems to be his revelation in 2010. It’s for sure some huge realisation (I think that’s pretty evident), but some people were saying how he’s clearly only just realised his feelings, and some were saying that he’s only realised the depth of them.

For me, it was the latter. I thought of it as the way I thought of Hebi’s own realisations; she actually has two, one in 2001, when she figures out that she likes him in this far-off, confusing way (“Something has changed, in the way you see him, and you realise you can no longer try to pretend it hasn’t.” -> nothing explicit verbalised, but it’s clear that she’s no longer thinking about him platonically), and then the traditional oh/on moment in 2004, where she realises she loves him. As in, love-love, Loves him.

I always figured Gojo went through something similar, which I thought was pretty cute of him, lol. For me, 2010 was his ‘oh/oh’ moment; he’s known, sure, but he’s been denying it, or he’s been explaining it some other way, or he’s just not been thinking about it. But then he realises: he’s in big, fat, capital-L Love. And so he freaks.

This explains all of your other questions, I think! The shoulder incident when they’re at his house together? Not innocent whatsoever. As people pointed out, there was no reason for him to practically be on top of her, and not for him to be getting all flustered/blushy (self-indulgent, yes, but necessary) about it, either. And the beach episode! In my head, he defo had some degree of feelings for her at that point, too: there are a few (very vague and subtle) moments, really clearly tarred by Hebi’s pov, that I did write as the tiniest hints about his feelings. Very much, if you’re looking for them, maybe maybe they’ll appear, lmao.

Such as, when Hebi’s getting changed into a swimsuit and Gojo’s back is turned, she walks past him and doesn’t look back to check his reaction to her. It takes him a “moment” (in which she is “panicked”, yes) to actually follow her, leading her to think “he’s not following [her], like [she’s] walking off to the sea on [her] own”. It’s the subtlest, tiniest thing ever… but why does he wait? Why doesn’t he just follow her straight away? If I were to write his POV of the chapter, it would definitely be highlighting that split-second delay of the first time he sees her in anything skimpier than pyjamas (a two-piece, at that!), and of him absolutely not being able to function enough to follow her. Of course, it also would include him slapping a smile on and following, even if he does have to keep his “his eyes on the sea”, just to make sure he’s not getting too distracted.

Another few moments, in the same chapter: the “affectionate, but also slightly sad” look he gives her when she smiles at her bare hands (pining central here, folks), which I think is the moment you’re referring to. Or the moment when she puts on his glasses, gives him her best Gojo-impression wink, and his “mouth closes, and his eyebrows lower, slightly. He swallows.” I’ve written it enough (especially over here) that I think it’s pretty evident that he really, really likes seeing her in his clothes. It’s a thing.

Listen, I thought I was being pretty over-the-top with my earlier Gojo-pining moments, but I listened to the comments and realised I really, really wasn’t. I tried to make it a bit more obvious as we went along, but, hey! Reader interpretation trumps all!

I don’t know how many IW readers have read my other longish fic, ‘Soli Deo Gloria’? Haikyuu, childhood friends to lovers, soulmate au with worldbuilding and religious themes, all the fun stuff. I wrote it over a year ago, which shows, at some points, in the fic (lol), but for something I wrote a while ago I can’t say I’m not pretty proud of it. Anyway, it’s written from the perspective of someone in love with his best friend, who also goes on lots of dates and never stays single, ever, and I think that mentality could definitely be applied to Gojo in this fic. I can go more in detail if people would be interested, but I think that could assuage some people’s doubts, if they think that just because he sees other women, it means he can’t also be pining away hardcore.

And then also what you mean about your ‘NSFW-related’ question (also, I’m an adult! I appreciate the care, but I’m chill and good with ff-related NSFW content and questions). I think if, pre-2011, Gojo had any thought that Hebi liked him back, he would be confessing and asking her about it asap. He’s not the type of person to let things go stagnant without acting on it; she’s much more of a passive character than he is, I’ve always thought. And yeah, I think that post-first feelings realisation, and definitely post-second, he would have thought about her the exact same way she thinks about him. Hebi’s relationship with sex is pretty awful up to this point (as you’ve said, with her apathy and disconnection towards her life, esp. towards the end of the latest chapter), and it’s something I’m going to give due attention to when it’s needed, and Gojo’s doesn’t have her same issues with physical intimacy, so it’d be certainly different; but I can see him seeking out sex as a substitute for the intimacy he’d be wanting and lacking with her.

This is a big fuckoff paragraph and I’m sorry if you were expecting something more concise! Unfortunately I am a narcissist at heart and so will always rant on about my own fics whenever I’m given the opportunity to, lol. Thank you for the ask, and I’m glad you’ve been enjoying IW!!

[fefairys]

2 11 12 14 15 17 18 20 21 23 25 26 27 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49!! 50 51 52

holy fuck juice i knwo u said u were sending a lot but damn. thank u i love u. ok.

under the cut because its so long <3

2. How quickly did you finish reading the comic? i dont remember... i think a few months??? i first watched all of the voice nexus videos (back when they were still collabHQ) and they were around mindfang's journal at the time, then i read the rest on my own. i think it was probably like. 3 months or so? maybe 4?? i know that i missed a new years countdown because i was busy reading homestuck LMAO.. but the fastest i've ever read it all the way through is 7 days.

11. Favorite Alpha kid? roxy :3

12. Favorite Alpha troll? porrim or latula.. or mituna... but porrim came to my head first so i guess she's the real answer

14. Least favorite Alpha kid? :( ...i guess dirk. but i still love him a lot.... i love the alphas...

15. Least favorite Alpha troll? cronus

17. Favorite Beta kid? rose or jade.. i relate more to rose but i am in love with jade

18. Favorite Beta troll? aradia probably..

20. Least favorite Beta kid? :( dont have one. i love them all too much i cannot answer this!!! if i must answer i guess i'll say dave since i've drawn him the least lol

21. Least favorite Beta troll? eridan

23. Favorite guardian? mom <3

25. Favorite Alternian ancestor? dolorosa... alternia's first mother. do u think about this? cry.

26. Least favorite Alternian ancestor? dualscar. im seeing a trend in my least favorite trolls SLDKFJ

27. Favorite carapacian? those random prospitians that meenah mistook for problem sleuth, pickle inspector, and ace dick

29. Favorite Friendsim character? oh god i dont know D: i like so many of them... fuck!!! i really like mallek tho... for gay reasons. also cirava. NEED to smoke a blunt w them.

30. Least favorite Friendsim character? zebruh. literally forgot about him and was like "oh i dunno i like all of them :) let me see" and looked them up and saw him and was like oh wait yeah. its zebruh.

31. Favorite sprite? davepetasprite^2 !!!

32. Least favorite sprite? calsprite lol

33. Favorite pale ship? ogh... i don know... arasol maybe.. i like them red also tho but theyre really cute pale :3 but i'll always have a soft spot for meowrails theyre probably the only ones i ship ONLY pale and not other quadrants

34. Favorite pitch ship? im trying to think of something that i ONLY ship pitch and not other quads... i dont think that exists for me lmao uhhh... vrisjade pitch is fun.. also solkat but theyre all quadrants but i really like them pitch theyre so silly hehe

35. Favorite flushed ship? ARAFEF !!!!!!!!!!

36. Favorite ashen ship? vriska, kanaya, and rose doing a gay little dance, taking turns auspisticing each other 😌

37. Favorite vacillating ship? SOLKAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

38. OTP? right now im really feeling solkat. arafef and vrisrezi are up there though

39. NOTP? besides obvious incest and kid/guardian pairings, i think gamrezi is the one that makes me most uncomfortable when i see it. leave her alone!!!

40. BROTP? aradia and dave :) also karkat and kanaya friendship is everything..

41. Character you’d choose to be your moirail? ohhhhhh maybe nepeta :3

42. Character you’d choose to be your kismesis? karkat. (kins sollux)

43. Character you’d choose to be your matesprit? aradia <3333 or kanaya or rose or terezi or (continues to list every girl)

44. Character you’d choose to be your auspistice? hm. i dunno. i dont want an auspistice leave me alone SDLFKJ i can handle it 😤 besides, the "main" "purpose" of an auspistice is preventing infidelity, but aint no infidelity when ur polyam!!! ill hatefuck this entire town so help me jegus

45. Character you’d vacillate quadrants with? oh. karkat as well. also vriska. maybe i should change my kismesis answer but idk if theres a character i hate in that way that i wouldnt want to vascillate with :/ i'll just leave it idk

46. Character you’d be best friends with? jade :D or roxy!! :D yeah :D

47. Patron troll? Are you happy with them? equius. no.

48. Zodiac troll? Are you happy with them? aradia! yes!!! :D

49. One character you didn’t like at first, but like now? i HATED vriska on my first read SO MUCH!!! but now i love her shes in my top 5 :) and also i am her.

50. One character you liked at first, but don’t like now? does not exist if i liked them i like them still <3

51. One ship you didn’t like at first, but like now? OH solfef!!! i HATED solfef so much i was like this is stupid and doesnt make sense but now i think its kind of cute. but aradia should be there too.

52. One ship you liked at first, but don’t like now? again, if i liked it i like it!!! there are ones that i used to care about more, but don't anymore, but i still like them! :)

[itfitsitshipsart]

Heyo!! It's super cool to find a selfshipper who ships with Raven/Schwann so 3, 9 and 15 for your TOV s/i please!! :D

( @pixelselfships )

Aw, thank you! ^3^ I love all my men, but Raven is my special sweetheart, so you dont know how happy that makes me feel~

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

Overall, people consider her a kind soul and generally likable. The Vesperia group see her as a sort of doting mom friend after the events I'd the game, especially Karol, whose basically all but legally adopted. Don Whitehorse found her to be a quiet pushover at first, holding back a fiery spirit. He really helped her come out of her shell and felt at least a little proud of her.

As for Alexei, there were mixed feelings. He saw her as sort of extended family, her household being close to him and his work, and felt in part that he needed to help protect her after the loss of her parents. But he also ended up finding her a pain and annoyance as she became disobedient and more of a hindrance than a help.

Oh, and I can't forget to mention LeBlanc and the "Schwann Fan Club", as i like to call them ^^. They adore their 'Lady Evelyn' and how loyal and loving she is to their brave Captain. They would do just about anything for her.

9. who are your self insert’s closest friends?

I mean, other than Raven (what can I say? Marry your best friend), she's very close with Karol, the mother and son bond, and Estelle and Judy. With Judith the two bond a lot over their caretaking roles with the rest (and have womanly conversations. The old man blushes at just the thought~). And with Estelle, the two are close minded in some ways and history. Both were protected nobility who found themselves out in the world, want to do good, be kind, and heal others, and learned to live for themselves a bit more.

She would also have considered Don Whitehorse a friend of sorts, and his grandson Harry. She owed a lot to him and his help, and the two would get into quite the banter some days.

15. how does your self insert play a role in the plot of the story? do they help directly defeat the villain, support the heroes, etc.?

I'll try (and fail) to keep this short. Obviously, spoilers XD For background, since before the beginning of the game, Evelyn lived in Dahngrest and helped the Don in exchange for room and board. She met and saw the Vesperia crew a few times by then, they know she had a sort of friendship with Raven (side quest, anyone?) But she had actually known Raven/Schwann for a little over a year now (Schwann first, then Raven).

Some days after Don Whitehorse died, and Raven had rather solemnly told her to go home, and she wouldnt be seeing 'Raven' again because that mission was over, she went to Heliord. Previously (end of act 1), when Alexei saw Evelyn at Dahngrest he instructed her to go to the knights headquarters when she was 'done playing'. So she went there, and Alexei happily welcomed her back. He was less happy though as she began to push for answers. But what would she do if he told her his plans? Nothing, he assumed. Or perhaps she would help him in the future.

So Alexei gave her his 'evil monologue' about his plans for the empire, and blastia, and Estelle, and told her to stay put and behave. He left her under the watch of guards, and left to go get Estelle because Schwann should have been taking her to the rendezvous point in the near future.

Of course, Evelyn wasn't going to sit still. A year ago she would have, but not anymore. Alexei chosing LeBlanc and crew to guard her closely, failed. She fled to the capitol with many of Alexei's notes and plans in hand, and demanded to see the council and prince Ioder because she had proof that Alexei was committing treason.

Long story short, It was thanks to her that Flynn went after Alexei under those suspicions, and she also convinced LeBlanc and crew to go follow for concern for Schwann, even though they were still posted to guard her (since now with her accusing Alexei of treason she may have been in more danger). And thank goodness they got to him in time.

-

Well, I hope I didnt ramble too much and that everything made sense! I'm planning on writing out an overview of her entire story/character arc really soon. I hope you'll read that when I start posting it!

[the-snowdrop-system]

Fuck it, ALL my answers below the cut :3

1) Better than most, but not the greatest tbh...

2) My cousin (STRICTLY PLATONIC she has been helping me thru transition ever since i came out to her)

3) yes, i regret going to southern michigan in january

4) very insecure

5) single

6) i dont care how i die honestly, i just hope its relatively painless.

7) homemade pizza my aunt sent home with my dad today

8) if competing in martial arts as a kid counts, than yes, if not, then no.

9) constantly... i should stop that...

10) 1st day of 4th grade (he was bullying me for years, so i punched him square in the nose. He never bullied me again)

11) no, BUT im a hopeless romantic, so by the time you are reading this, my answer might have changed.

12) constantly... my sleep schedule sucks :)

13) only 2 people. My most recent ex, and the male responsable for half of my existance >:(

14) 5 people. My 3 besties from college, dude i talk to on occasion, and my cousin (see number 2, she lives over 1000 miles away from me)

15) no, i neither physically nor financially could take care of a pet, i wish i did tho, would make life slightly more bearable

16) rn, im upset. I might go over that more in another post, if i do ill link it here.

17) no

18) YES i realize they serve a good perpous to our ecosystem, i just wish they would do it somewhere else 😭

19) yes, to stop myself from going to southern michigan in january. Nothing good has come from that decision.

20) i dont remember where it was... it was a while ago anyways.

21) the same as they have been since i had surgery. Get up and walk around every little bit. Other than that, nothing. Maybe watch some lets plays of the new FNAF game since i cant afford a copy of my own :(

22) no, i wouldnt make a good parent honestly, im not responsible enough...

23) i got my ears pierced in december, but they healed up waaay sooner than they where supposed to so now i have 0. what a waste of money >:(

24) math and technology. Dont get me wrong, i am bad at both, but they are still what im best at 😭

25) wait, you already asked this question :(

26) food wise: nothing. In general: a hug.

27) probably yes, but they did worse to me.

28) yep, my most recent ex. (They are also the one mentioned in 27)

29) she did something to me, i stormed off, and she cried because i was upset, does that count?

30) i have a list :) see number 16.

31) no

32) pink or blue 🏳️‍⚧️

33) sometimes? It really depends honestly. Some people i trust to much, and other people i dont trust enough smh...

34) i drempt something about stawberrys last night i dont remember any specifics...

35) one of my parents. I dont remember which one tho.

36) i give everyone a second chance, but if you fuck up again im done. (If i can give the 2 people i hate a second chance, than i can give other people second chances as well.)

37) forget, only cus i got memory issues. But in all seriousness, i have a hard time with both...

38) FUCK NO this shit the worst!

39) 16 i think...?

40) NO????

Where the hell are questions 41-50? I feel like im getting ripped off! /j

51) Quesadillas

52) no, cus what "reason" is there for cancer? What "reason" is there for biggotry? What "reason" is there for plagues and pandemics? If someone can answer those, then i might reconsider.

53) turn on a quiet youtube video to listen too to help me sleep and turn on a fan to keep me cool.

54) cheating, no. Open relationships are one thing, but when two people are together in a closed relationship and one of them cheats, thats just wrong.

55) i try to be nice, but some people make that reeeeally hard. I can be a massive bitch if i need to be.

56) 1. My bully in elementary school.

57) yes, but i also believe it is very hard to find.

58) light snow

59) ... yes.

60) eventually, but only if im allowed to wear a cute wedding dress. (Ive had multiple exes say "if we get married you still have to wear a suit" [for reference im a trans woman])

61) depends on the context, but yea, it can be.

62) get back to me on that one. Im not sure anymore. The things that used to make me happy now only just get me by. I dont know how to feel happy rn.

63) fuck yea, i hate my dead name and want to legally change it, but there is that whole "im broke af" issue i gotta fix 1st.

64) yea, cus i would rather punch them than kiss them tbh.

65) i am gonna change the word from sex to gender in this question just because it will be easier to answer. I have 1 male friend, and idk what i would do if he said he likes me tbh...

66) yee. Same dude as 65

67) last man i talked to was my dad, other than him, the friend i mentioned in the last 2 answers.

68) prolly same dude as before, we where discussing FNAF lore

69) 2 people destined for eachother from birth? No. 2 people who form a bond stronger than just love, yes.

70) each of the 5 people i miss (see question 14)

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?