#AND the final song. not as long as im dead. might be my fav?? ESPECIALLY the ending with the ovelayed growls

[peachpopfizz]

you guys ever listen to an album and then realize replaying it 53 times is not enough i actually need to genetically rewire this into my dna

[anniiecrsta]

♬ there is nothing on earth that we share (i see you in the reflection of my eyes) 𖾞 ⁺ 𓈒

author’s note: im so excited!! this was my first full lenght fic with dialogue and its based off of some of my two fav things, djats and les mis. this is based specifically off of javert’s soliloquy, give it a listen! pls read the tags. click the title for ao3 link, which i raccomend. it has better fonts and stuff!!

the barricades fell, in the morning, and they fell so fast: he almost didn’t hear the barks of the inspector, telling all of them when to shoot. coordinated . like a song at the opera. he almost didn’t hear, but he heard enough for the guilt to settle deep in his stomach like a disease— the least he could do, really, was feel the guilt of murder.

the weight of doing all of this, even for a right cause. how could he promise his daughter a future, if a revolution started now? how could he come home to his wife, if he was dead on the floor outside the barricade? the same questions could apply to the children of the barricade, but the thought didn’t even cross his mind. too knee deep in his own problems to think of what others might be going through. too deep in his own errors, in his shame and failures, in remembering everything that’s slipped out of his hand as he stiffly moves from one part of his day to the next.

the sewer’s floor was damp. wet, dark and covered with the bodies of the scholars, long gone cold since last night. it all happened so fast he wondered if it was even real, if maybe it was only a figment of his imagination. real it was, he could tell, as he kicked around the bodies to inspect them one last time for any heirlooms to send back to their respective houses. it was all so real and so disgusting, but duty is duty and if there’s one thing he does it is everything he puts his mind to. everything he allows himself to have.

“I warned you. I will not be swayed.” billy shouted, his grip on his shotgun tightening— his knuckles were white and his hands kept shaking from the tension, eyes staring at margaret.

finally. after god knows how long: escaping, ripping the yellow slip of parole and changing your name will never not make you a slave of law. a criminal who needs to pay for what they’ve done before they’re allowed back into society: he paid his own share too, paid with four years of his life, and it angers him, the thought that she thinks she can just escape it. it angers him no end.

“Another hour yet, inspector.”

daisy shouted back, all shrill laughs and arms in the air, shoving the revolver in his pocket like he didn’t see her get ready to shoot at him. all tense and ready to strike like she’s finally caught in a corner she can’t get out of. “And then all our… debts.. are sealed.” she added, her brows raising mockingly at the word debt: there was no debt, there was nothing to make up for, especially not to him. nothing she owed to anybody that made her incriminating enough to be considered a slave of law— a man attacked her, a man violated her, and she is the criminal. the viper, the whore, the slut who tried attacking the kind man who was offering her help.

“Get here, time is running short.” billy interjected her sentence, his voice wavering with all of the tension he kept inside, all of the tension pouring straight into his hands. the same hands that gripped the shotgun, that gripped the promise of a future where he could be the man camilla deserved, a man that isn’t marked by the same failures that cost him his life in the eyes of god. a god that’s never shown himself, a god that he isn’t so sure exists after finding out that margaret, daisy, whatever identity she goes by now, smells like dahlias and dried sandstone on a summer day, as hot as hell below.

that never seemed to stop him from the ignoring her words, though, from not even acknowledging her request— hiding behind a mask of indifference, of bitterness, like all he seemed to do these days wasn’t relentlessly chasing after her, wondering what she was doing in her new life that she built as a ‘free woman’. ignoring her words like she wasn’t so deeply rooted in his chest that some days he naively mistakes the feel of her between his ribs for a disease.

“Your debt can only be repaid in the eyes of the law.”

“One hour, unless you want to make love to a dead woman.”

what followed was a defeaning silence that seemed to stretch out for too long to be shock, for too long to be offense: shame. an overpowering sense of shame and disgust more directed at himself than her: never her. what he felt for her was all consuming, never to be said out loud and never to be defined in words. no words, no scripture, no song, would ever be enough to contain everything billy felt for margaret. daisy. whatever. all he felt was the familiar shame pooling in his stomach at the memory of his arms wrapping around her. “What?”

her feet, exposed to the cold water, were freezing– her hands twitching and shaking as she let them fall down to her sides. “You heard me.” daisy replied, shrugging: she itched to crawl out of her skin and throw herself into the nearest fire. set herself on fire and hope that whatever warmth she’d get would ever fill the gaping hole of artic left between her ribcage, next to her heart that slammed against her chest with such aggresion that it bruised, red marks blooming underneath her skin.

blooming underneath her skin and spilling out of her mouth in words that she cannot say out loud, spilling out of her ears as tears she cannot spill, all because she once dared to try and defy the words of a man who claims that he is protected by god when the only thing tethering him to any sort of life above what she has is his fucking money. his fucking status. there is nothing that differenciates the man behind the gun from the man in front of it, and his self righteouness disgusts her: but his forced nonchalance, his desperate grip on that slim control that he is convinced of having over his own life, is what makes her pity him. there must be something broken in her, in them, for her to still wish that he put down the gun and hold her close.

“Don’t mock me.” he hissed.

“One hour and then our debts will be repaid, I say. Give way.”

“I don’t trust you.” he does, he thinks, and that’s what worries him immediately: that’s what makes him flex his jaw tighter and nudge his gun again as his last ditch effort, his plead for her to give herself up on her own because he doesn’t think that in his body there is anything left that can fight the want to give her everything he has, to rip his own heart out and offer it to her like there is anything inside him that can release her of the stain of sin. release himself of the burden of having to touch her freezing body bleeding on the sewer floor– it reminds him of the horror of becoming the man he hates.

another beat of silence. a final gulp as she started backing up slowly. “Give way, I beg.” the woman repeated, her head lashing back and forth wildly between him and the tunnel behind her. checking frantically for anybody behind her, her mask of calm cracking– there is only so much pressure she can withstand before the weight of her impending death starts crushing her. before it starts reflecting in here eyes.

maybe it’s the eyes that get him to let her go. maybe it’s the slight crack in her voice that he is selfishly certain nobody else would’ve noticed. maybe there was never even the chance that he could’ve pulled the trigger and let her become just another negative space inside him– billy thinks, dangerously so, that now it doesn’t matter anymore. nothing ever did, for he is just a pawn. the only things that matters is that his whole world feels flipped upside down as he lets the sinner run. “Go, before I change my mind.” he barks again.

margaret, daisy, takes off running into the darkness. the last thing he sees of her being the shadow of her red hair as it dissapears, the squelching sound of her feet against the cold, wet floor. the last thing he thinks of her is how he is sure that she will never come back, that maybe he doesn’t want her to.

“I’ll be waiting, 15308.” billy shouts, and for once, he thinks that he might be able to keep his own word.

[crucifiedkiss]

reading what you write (especially of fandoms that are dead) is NOT enough i need to consume it and i will consume it like a sickly victorian boy who savors the taste and each undertaste of that food and i will distinguish each grain of seasoning under a microscope knowing this is my last meal. that meal will forever be my last and i will forever cherish it. consuming your writing like someone who cannot afford anymore food and will have to live off it till its finally gone and i have to seek other crumbs. anyways um🧍‍♂️ COME BACK TO TUMBLR PLZ I CRAVE YOUR WRITING on my knees for more im going insane. my delusions need to be filled and you fill them (and create more) plz come back. requesting anything and everything you make beautiful stuff GQIEBFIFC sorry this is long🤑

🤡anon

◌ೆ୧　 YOUR MAIL HAS BEEN DELIEVERED ♡

HELP ME WHY DIDD U WRITE SO MUCH CLOWN NONNIE LFIRWJOFJ ????? yapping (and sickly victorian boy) nonnie ?? hey twinnn >.<

TYSM THO I LOVE U 🤡NONNIE UR SO KIND WAAHHRIEFHI😭😭😭 gives u a big smooch on ur forehead /p ur my fav circus clown💞 /silly

i took a small hiatus but we r back :3 that byler analysis post took me OUTTTT omll 0_0"

gonna try writing smth soon but idkkk what to write ugghh ... might write more percy jackson lowk tho ... luke castellan been looking extra fine recently😍 enemies to lovers with luke would save me🙏

unrelated but i have been listening to slipknot recently and smth in me changed. i dont know what, but hearing someone scream in a song is so delicious ... ALSO SAY IT AINT SO (BY WEEZER AND THE COVERS DONE ON IT ASWELL) SENDS SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE ITS SO GOOD !?!? :3 oughh my music liking genres r everywhere rn pls request songs– srry for yapping what the flip☹

[guymaito]

For the ask thing :3:

Top 5 animals? Top 5 fav/comfort movies? Top 5 fav cartoons/shows?

I’m honestly glad to know theres other people including you who actually like Pakku and his character :3 Yes he was a completely asshole at the start but he did change, it’s just that it was so subtle that not everyone saw it

Also random song associations with characters:

Fighter by Jack Stauber reminds me very well of Piandao, Pakku, and Jeong Jeong as their younger selves during the war.

Why do I associate Grace by Lewis Capaldi with Bumi? (the music video tho would give more context to why it might make sense)

Oh Klahoma by Jack Stauber reminds me of Piandao and his overall anxieties for his partners.

Consider some of these songs as sorta song recs? Idk but still :3

1. Giraffes!! the reason why their tongues look like That is cause of extra melanin and to prevent sunburn!!

2. Seals!! there are 33 different kinds of pinnipeds and there over 50 extinct pinnipeds

3. Dogs!! they can only see in shades of blue and yellow, so bright red roses look yellowish brown and lively green grass look dehydrated and dead

4. Crows!! a group of them are called a murder

5. Cows!! they’re actually colorblind, they can’t see red specifically, so male cows, bulls aren’t getting mad at the color, they’re getting angry at the movement

1. The Losers movie from 2010, it’s a action mystery movie about Clay and his team that are a part of an elite US Special Forces Unit and are approached by a mysterious woman to exact revenge on their handler, Max, who betrayed them and just,,,the characters, CHRIS EVANS, jake jensen and all of his kinda weird glory, THE ELEVATOR SCENE, also cougar!!

2. Captain America and The Winter Soldier movie, it’s a action movie, which makes me realize that a lot of my faves are prolly gonna be action something, but anyways, it’s about Steve Rogers, who now lives in the nation's capital as he tries to adjust to modern times. An attack on a S.H.I.E.L.D. colleague throws Rogers into a web of intrigue that places the whole world at risk. Joining forces with the Black Widow, Natasha Romanov, and a new ally, Sam Wilson, Steve struggles to expose an ever-widening conspiracy, but he and his team soon come up against an unexpected enemy. oh my god,,,just,,,the fight scenes, the running scene at the beginning of the movie, steve meeting sam that way, just everything!! this was also my introduction to marvel so in my mind no other marvel movie can live up to this (other than spiderman away from home)

3. Spiderman Far from Home, again, it’s a action movie, i’m not gonna explain this cause the post is getting long, but!! mj and peter!! just,,,all of their scenes!! also jake gyllenhaal!! the fight scenes!! the soundtrack!! everything about it is amazing!!

4. Thunderforce, again, i’m not gonna explain, it’s an action adventure and comedy movie (ofc it is look at the other 3 🙄 /s), the relationship between lydia and emily!! the relationship between lydia and emily’s daughter!! the humor!! the fight scenes!! the soundtrack!!,,,,just everything about is good despite the bad ratings

that’s more like a top 4 than a top 5 but that’s like,,,,all the movies i genuinely like and will rewatch if given the chance and for that where’s a honorable mention: Hamilton (the movie version on disney+ that came out i think nearly a year ago), the soundtrack is amazing, the characters are better, got some funny moments and is mostly historically accurate, like yeah angelica did forget her name cause at the time of her meeting alex ham, she was married to a man named john church (or something church idk) so her last name was church but she introduced herself to alexander as angelica schuyler, not angelica church, so in satisfied she was telling the truth about forgetting her own name, but in the same song she said that her father had no sons even though the real angelica had 3 brothers.

1. Avatar the last Airbender, ofc or else i would have a blog (mostly) centered around it and it’s sequel /s but fr though?? it’s such a good show!! zuko’s redemption arc, iroh’s redemption arc (even though his more subtle than zuko’s) , aang!! love him and his character so much, especially when he gets to be a sassy little shit, sokka and his shit humor and brains, katara, toph, hakoda and HIS shit humor, the fight scene with hakoda (he fights kinda like a waterbender, using his opponent’s momentum against them), bato and his lovely, lovely voice, piandao, aang going ‘how about he get on YOUR back and you can fly us to the south pole’ or something like that to sokka after he complained about appa not flying higher, the boiling rock episodes, hakoda apparently being a good dad but a shitty prison riot starter (love that for him), just!! atla is such a good ass show, im not changing my mind. also!! i like the way they introduced ozai, not showing his face but still presenting him as not only a shit dad, but a shit person as well, like up until book three, we only saw him like, the neck down and in like, a flashback or two (i don’t really remember how many flashbacks ozai was in actually cause it’s nearly been a full year since i last watched it) and that’s it, so it made seeing his face for the first time all the more better cause you was already like ‘what the hell does this shitbag look like’ and then you see him and now ur like ‘oh!! THATS what he looks like!!’

2. The Legend of Korra, again, ofc or else i wouldn’t have a blog (mostly) centered around it and it’s prequel, just,,,,korra’s arc from being hot headed to calm is fantastic but also sad considering the way she went from that to this, korra’s book 1 character!! for whatever reason i really like b1 korra, just,,her design, her hair style (even though she had it for nearly the entire series) just!!! book 1 korra <3, also the entirety of book 1!! just amon posing as a anti bender nonbender despite being a waterbender himself, the scene where tenzin and his kids nearly lost their bending, which would’ve meant that, if tenzin did lose his bending but his kids didn’t, that would’ve meant the strongest airbender would’ve been his 11 year old daughter, the gruesome way to end the season finale episode by doing a murder suicide which was dark as fuck for what?? a kids show??, also the villains in this show!! their good as hell!! the backstory of the red lotus and how and why they were created?? amon and his anti bending?? kuvira and her plan to basically rule the earth kingdom (idk i haven’t finished book 4), unalaq and his spiritual stuff and wanting to become a dark avatar and fusing with vaatu?? also!! the other disturbing scene of korra basically getting tortured near the end of book 3, i mean?? it deadass left her hella traumatized and unable to walk, again hella dark for a fucking kids show

3. The Walking Dead, even though i haven’t finished it or watched in like, 4-5 months, i just,,,the way the presented negan!! practically foreshadowing him the entirety of season 6!! him appearing at the very end of the season 6 finale and pretty much having an entire episode dedicated to him in the very beginning of season 7 (which is why some fans argue he was introduced in s7 not s6 cause of the fact that he didn’t show up until the very end of the s6 finale but had an entire episode with him in it in s7, while others say vice versa cause the very the first time we see him was in s6 not s7), the fact that the walking dead logo was getting progressively more and more decayed as the series go on?? the fact that the WALKERS (the zombies) are getting more and more decayed as the series go on?? dale’s death scene?? shane’s death scene?? negan’s relationship with rick’s daughter?? the fact that this show also has what?? 11, 12 seasons?? which reminds me that i’m still on season 9 of twd

4. Sabrina the Teenage Witch, just,,,salem and his sarcasm?? sabrina’s aunts?? sabrina herself?? just!! everyone is just so fucking funny in this show it’s unreal, specially salem!! a lot of my favorite scenes have salem in them, the ‘are you on a women’s chat room again?’ (or something like that) and salem saying ‘i like the attention’ in response, that one harvey and salem scene that i don’t know how to describe without turning this into a giant paragraph like the ones before this one

5. blue’s clues, it was my favorite childhood show and i love the reboot of it so much!! especially p for pride moment in that song i don’t remember the name of, blue themself!! steve leaving which was sad but getting an equally amazing host in the process?? amazing!! the scene where salt and pepper introduced their baby, paprika?? just,,,it’s such good show and i loved it when i was younger and i still love it now!!

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Fav fics

So as I’m approaching being two decades old soon (😱😱), I decided to look back at all the fics I have written in the past year or so. Yes, it’s a bit of a shameless self promotion but who cares 🤗

Utmost favorites: Love Potion Extravaganza https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/181955720067/love-potion-extravaganza-ch-1

Winner’s Curse https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/182344754787/winners-curse-prologue What a surprise, my two long fics are at the top of the list as favorites. Love Potion Extravaganza especially as it’s complete and it features some of my favorite things, ships, musicals, and the utter insanity that comes with love potion gone wrong. And although I have not finished Winner’s Curse, it’s certainly one I enjoy doing by taking any and all Disney characters and incorporating them into my huge cast and of course, trying to dive into the darker themes implied in the Descendants franchise. Funniest: Kiss meme Estenaomi almost kiss https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/184257194637/you-basically-asked-for-it-and-i-couldnt-resist#notes

Campechana Conditioning https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/178679085792/campechana-conditioning

Alonso’s Legen-Wait for it-Dary Dating Rules https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/186657814897/alonsos-legen-wait-for-it-dary-dating-rules Love Potion Extravaganza I already wrote why Love Potion is such a joy above. Love comedy of Errors and all that. Kiss me Estenaomi was fun because well young Esteban and Naomi bantering is always fun to write specially as it leads to ridiculous nicknames and a passionate kiss. Campechana was taken mainly from a Big Bang Theory episode because it’s just too perfect to not imagine Esteban and Doña trying to condition each other. Alonso’s Legen etc etc. was taken from How I met your mother if one cannot tell from the title and just as Barney Stinson, Alonso doling out his awful advice to an land-clueless Marzel was too good to pass up.

Angst/Hurt/Comfort: Deserve https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/184295644377/deserve

Disconnect & Still Here https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/611748633146163200/disconnect & https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/190788257312/still-here

Tete a Tete in a Jail Cell https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/189553140372/tête-à-tête-in-a-jail-cell

Song of the Sirenas drabble https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/183673052607/song-of-the-sirenas-drabble

Starved https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/175733451452/starved?is_related_post=1

Broken Pieces https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/181464010247/broken-pieces

No room for weakness https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/174697101917/no-room-for-weakness Deserve is top because I really gave Esteban the angst in that one. I really enjoyed putting Esteban in one of his first low points throughout his life and with no comfort in sight. Disconnect & Still Here are kind of two sides of the same coin in the breakdown of the Delgado marriage with Ash’s being about of all the trials of motherhood and her jealousy of Victor and Carla’s bond while Victor’s is his realization that his wife is dead, and he is a single dad and dealing with that fallout. Tete a Tete was an emotional Carla piece since we haveN’t heard one word from her since The Magic Within special and I wanted to explore the isolation of the jail cell, the heartbreak over her father and her utter wretchedness with some hope coming in the form of the Captain of the Guard. Song of the Sirenas drabble was just a small piece on what Mateo’s reaction might have been like at the thought of Elena dead after the battle with Shuriki. Starved was my first piece with darker themes since it alludes to her life in poverty so I’m proud of that one. Broken Pieces is another emotional hurt comfort from Elena’s POV in the aftermath of Rise of the Sorceress and dealing with the heartbreak of her Mamí’s crown being broken, symbolizing all the danger she is in now that Shuriki’s back. Finally No room for weakness is another Esteban angst because Esteban always brings on the angst and emotional repression but luckily Elena’s there to pick him up.  

Heartwarming and/or Romance: Mistletoe https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/189843988472/mistletoe

Saying Goodbye https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/189558947892/saying-goodbye?is_related_post=1

Reunion https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/189252050212/reunion

Intrinsic https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/187971072332/intrinsic

Safe in his eyes https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/186678480327/safe-in-his-eyes

Kiss meme Gababel kiss on the fingertips https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/184397938137/im-kinda-late-on-sending-this-but-if-youre-ever#notes

Kiss meme Estoma kiss over the wrist https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/184233727497/i-looooove-your-drabbles-rachel-okay-so-how

Estoma drabble https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/190476170997/little-estoma-idea

Mood Swings https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/187648741932/mood-swings?is_related_post=1

Three’s a crowd https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/179313607297/ch-1-threes-a-crowd

This is my son https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/182500372627/this-is-my-son EoA Appreciation Week: Gabe Melee https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/186979963112/eoa-appreciation-week-day-2-melee

Coffee Run  https://cartoonfangirl1218.tumblr.com/post/174694324052/coffee-run

Mistletoe is pure unadulterated Eleteo Christmas fluff and one of my best of the Eleteo confesses their feelings stories, I think. Honestly it was just overall a joy to write so I love looking back on it. Saying Goodbye, I was just so proud of this one because it was the first Estenaomi story that popped into my head without the help of prompt. I have some difficulties thinking up scenarios for them for some reason but this one flowed so easily, imagining how young Esteban would be after Naomi’s departure in The Last Laugh. Reunion was just a little fic based on what of the sweetest slow burn romance songs, “This is not my idea” from the Swan Princess. Intrinsic is another Eleteo one and its a fav because it just... I wanted to explore Mateo’s feelings after Elena almost died in Naomi knows best and just give name to the bond that they share. Safe in his eyes explores the same idea with Elena working through her new nightmares of being sacrificed and Mateo, the ever faithful is there to hold her close. Gababel is so fun and sweet to write and it was scarily easy to write Isabel being flustered (way too much experience in the easily flustered department) and of course, the first blush of crush love and having a mature Isabel interact with Gabe. Estoma kiss meme was a departure from the usual frenemy bantering to what I imagine was their initial partnership where they were reserved and feeling each other before unleashing their true personalities. The Estoma drabble started as a drabble but turned into a full length fic-let of what I imagined as a clandestine affair to hate to comfort to frenemies to potential friends which never comes to fruition because Esteban ran off with Ash. Mood Swings was initially inspired by a Kim Possible episode of the same name but evolved into one of my only heartwarming Delgados fic centering around Carla’s birth.Three’s a Crowd was one of my few attempts at Naomi POV which I think I did serviceable job and it was fun to go with a classic love triangle hijinks with suspicious Naomi, scheming Carla and clueless, arrogant Alonso. This is my son is one of the only YJ fics I’ve written down and so I love it because I wanted to include Rocket more into the team and Team dynamics and all that. I don’t write many Gabe POV fics so this one, I’m proud of, especially for giving Gabe a chance to shine in beating up a malvago and never giving up even when stabbed. Finally Coffee Run, a Goldenvibe fic because I wanted them to have a little more closure before the Legends of Tomorrow series started up.