#AND make parents pay through the nose to send their kids there what do fucking mean you dont have the fucking funds

[sneefsnorf]

private schools love to discriminate against disabled students its their favourite activity. its enrichment for them

[zarameraki]

˖°🕷️ ࣪𖤐 𝘁𝗼𝗷𝗶'𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝘃𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆 ˖°🕷️𖤐

: ̗̀➛ tropes: fem! reader 𖥔 minors do not interact 𖥔 unprotected sex 𖥔 single dad x nanny 𖥔 porn with plot 𖥔 banter 𖥔 alternate universe 𖥔 praise 𖥔 shower sex 𖥔 bj 𖥔 certified pussy eater 𖥔 daddy issues 𖥔 dirty talking 𖥔 small pillow talk 𖥔 nsfw 𖥔 smut

: ̗̀➛ words: 2.7k

: ̗̀➛ notes: wrote this one a while ago and decided it was time to get it out of the drafts. if you have any requests, don’t hesitate to send them. pls follow, reblog, like, comment—whatever you want! okay love you and enjoy.

“After the prince and his princess defeated the scary, ancient dragon, their kingdom lived happily ever after.”

With a smile, you closed the storybook, glancing over at Megumi, peacefully asleep in his crib. Your fingers brushed against his velvety cheeks before you tucked him in snugly and quietly left his room.

The jingle of keys echoed through the air. 

Toji stepped into the apartment, his appearance dishevelled and weary of another demanding day at the construction site. He shed his hefty boots and lumbered into the living room. Catching sight of you, a faint grin settled on his lips. “He asleep?”

“The dragon story always knocks him out cold.” You took his bag and set it down by the couch as he shrugged off his jacket, letting it fall onto the bar stools. “Long day?” 

“Too fucking long.” He yanked open the fridge door, retrieving a container of leftover pasta and a beer. You joined him in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and cracking open the can for him. “One of the machines decided to call it quits halfway through. Spent hours waiting for the mechanics to patch it up before we could even think of wrapping up the foundation.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Zenin.” Your gaze shifted to the scattered construction toys that Megumi often indulged in. “With tomorrow being the weekend, maybe you could take some time to unwind and spend quality time with Megs.”

Toji let out a derisive snort as he warmed up his food. “Always appreciate you looking out for us, sweetheart.” 

“Hey, babysitting is my job.”

He took the beer can from your hand and affectionately pinched your cheek. You grinned with your nose scrunching up. “My paycheck isn’t gonna be here until next week. Is it cool if I can pay you a little late? I’ll double it to make up for it.” 

“Nah, you’re good. I can wait. Megumi’s my favourite little client.” You tucked your hands into the pockets of your jeans as Toji grabbed his dinner and brushed past you. “Jesus, Mr. Zenin. You smell like cement.” 

“Cut me some slack, kid.” 

“I’m twenty-two. Not a kid.” 

“If you’re younger than me”—he jabbed his fork in your direction—“you’re still a kid. Capiche?” 

“Eating pasta doesn't grant you Italian citizenship,” you teased. He rolled his eyes as you snatched your backpack. “Well, I’ll see you Monday evening, then.” 

“Leaving so soon?” 

You quirked a brow and raised your phone. “It’s ten in the evening.” 

“That’s early. Come on, stay and grab a bite. Wanna share?” 

Your stomach rumbled in agreement. And hey, a little extra time with Toji wouldn’t be the worst thing. Among all the parents, he was the only one you felt at ease being around late at night. He felt more like a good friend than just another guardian.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” You set down your bag and snagged an extra fork, sliding onto the stool beside him. He placed the container between you two, ensuring you got enough of your separate fill.   

“Your feeding your fucking hair, sweetheart,” he commented, collecting your hair back. His fingers brushed over the side of your neck making it hard for you to swallow. 

“Thanks,” you mumbled, quickly gathering your hair into a ponytail. Toji continued to chew slowly, his gaze fixed on you. “What?” 

“You always had a mole there?” He pointed below your jaw where a prominent beauty mark tattooed your skin. 

“I’m offended that you’ve just noticed now.” 

He finished chewing. “You don’t tie your hair up often.” 

“Would you like me to?” You twirled your spaghetti around your fork.

“I like your hair down,” he admitted, his gaze lingering a moment longer than necessary. “But maybe not while we’re eating. Don’t want them getting dirty.” 

You rolled your eyes and took a large bite, cheeks puffing out as you chewed.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Toji grumbled, swiping away the speck of tomato sauce from the corner of your mouth. His tongue darted out to clear it, followed by another swipe of his hand. The tomato sauce probably matched the colour of your skin from that gesture. “Ever thought about hiring a nanny for yourself?” 

“No, but I might have someone to take care of me in a month.” 

Toji paused and dragged his eyes towards you. “Who?” 

“Just a boy from my class,” you replied nonchalantly, poking your fork in the meatball. “He’s cute, sure. Plus, he’s a hockey player. Basically the epitome of the perfect, conventional, bring-home-to-mom-and-dad kind of guy.”

Toji took a deliberate sip of his beer. “If that’s what you’re into.”

“You say it like you’re an expert on my taste.”

“I’ve known you for a year, darling. You never struck me as someone who’d go for a poster boy.” 

“Then who do you think I’d go for?” you asked softly. Green eyes locked with yours in a tense silence. “Since you seem to have me all figured out.”

Toji stole a quick glance at your lips, then darted his eyes toward the door of his son's bedroom. He fought back the surge of temptation bubbling up inside him, tightening his grip on the beer can in his hand. “Maybe I haven’t gotten to know you well enough.” He went to take a bite but you quickly interrupted by grasping his hand and guiding his fork toward your mouth. 

With the spaghetti twirled around it, you brought it to your lips, savouring the taste as you chewed slowly, all the while locking eyes with his emerald gaze. He observed your throat as you swallowed, his attention now fully magnetised by your flushed face.

As you licked the sauce from the corners of your lips, and wrapped your mouth around your thumb to clean it, Toji’s pulse quickened. “I’m an open book for you, Mr. Zenin.” You rose from your seat, reaching for your backpack. He couldn't tear his gaze away, transfixed by the sight of your ass. “Have a wonderful time beating yourself off to my pictures tonight.” 

Toji’s gaze flickered to his undeniable bulge straining against his jeans, a curse slipping past his lips. Downing his beer as you moved away, he pushed off the stool, closing the distance with a predatory grace, catching you in the middle of tying your shoelaces.

Your eyes widened as he backed you against the door, trapping your arms above your head. His knee insinuated itself between yours, his breath hot against your lips as he snarled. 

“He’s made dinner reservations at an Italian restaurant next week,” you whispered. “Unless you don’t want me sharing pasta with him like it’s a fucking Disney movie, I suggest you kiss me now, Toji.” 

“God, that fucking mouth of yours.” A broad smile appeared at his lips as he pressed them hungrily against yours. Your body responded instinctively, grinding against his thigh in a desperate plea for more. Toji’s grip on your wrists loosened, his hand finding its way to your face, driving his tongue inside your mouth and flicking it against yours. 

He lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he held onto your ass. Lost in the intoxication of your overdue kiss, Toji maintained some semblance of awareness, urgently guiding himself into the bathroom, where he settled you onto the counter.

Breaking away, but still holding your jaw, he smirked. “I smelled like shit, yeah?” 

You shrugged. “Cement, but close enough.” 

“Since you know it all, you’re gonna help me clean it off.”  He stripped off his shirt before reclaiming your lips once more, your hands roaming eagerly over his chest and around his waist, pulling him impossibly closer. You’d waited a whole year for this. 

Toji removed your jacket, then paused to peel off your t-shirt. He unhooked your bra with a single motion, pulling you close against him. The sensation of your nipples grazing against his chest hair made you momentarily gasp for air.

“You good?” he whispered, palming the side of your head. 

“So good.” You lunged at him again. He stumbled backward, bringing you with him until you both found yourselves inside the shower stall. His muscular arms coiled around you, pulling you closer as he ravaged your mouth.

Meanwhile, you shed your sweatpants and panties, while Toji unclasped his jeans and tossed them aside along with the rest of your clothes. He briefly opened his eyes, his mouth moving in sync with your desperate one, as he reached to twist the shower faucet open.

The first layer of cold water made you shiver and break apart. You and Toji stared at one another, your gazes lowering in tandem to study your naked bodies. He was big. So big. And extremely hard. His pink tip reached up to naval. Covered in veins that pulsed at a closer look. 

“You’re fucking gorgeous, sweetheart,” Toji said, stepping closer to you. Your back met the cold surface of the stall’s glass wall. His large hands cupped your breasts and travelled down to your hips. “You've been hiding all of this under those stupid looking sweaters?” 

“I happen to like my sweaters, thank you very much.” 

“Baby, they’re ugly.” 

You rolled your eyes and smiled. He continued to laugh at his own comment until you gripped his dick. 

He stopped immediately. 

“What’s wrong, Mr. Zenin?” Your hands moved in an elevated pattern. “Cat got your cock?” He planted his palms on either side of your head. You added twists and rolls, ones that had him at your mercy. Then you sank down onto your knees and swirled your tongue around him, sucking him off. He was breathing hard and fast, and his fingers gripped your hair. “Fuck my throat until I can’t speak for a week.” 

Toji snapped. 

He thrusted deep, deep down your throat and relished in the gagging sounds you made. “Holy fuck, baby. You’re so good at taking my cock.” Your nail sank into his hips, eyes rolling back to your skull. He forced you to open your eyes by pulling at your hair. “Fucking look at me, you little slut.” He shoved himself deeper and held your face against his pelvis. You scratched against his skin to take a breather while choking on his hot gush of release. There was nothing to swallow when he pulled your head back, releasing his dick from the confines of your mouth. 

You coughed out, drumming your fist against your chest to regain control of your lungs. A hand wrapped around your arm and stood you up. 

Toji held your jaw and inspected you closely with a twinge of concern. “Was I too hard on you, doll?” 

You nodded but raised a thumbs up. “Fantastic.” Probably the best blow-job you’ve ever given—even if Toji was mostly in control. 

His lips met yours in a soft kiss, allowing the water to wash away at your bodies. He massaged his fingers through your scalp, and, in contrast, gave your left asscheek a sharp slap. “Turn around. It’s my turn to eat.” 

Your chest pasted against the glass wall. Toji pressed himself against your back and slithered his hand down to cup your pussy. He grunted in your ear delivering a slap to it and hearing you squeak from the impact. His fingers pinched your clit and parted your folds. Easily, he fitted two fingers into your hole. “Jesus. You’re so fucking tight. No one’s been in this pussy before, baby?” 

“A few,” you said. “But they were smaller.” 

Toji curled his fingers inside of you. “A dirty whore like you needs something bigger. Don’t you, doll?” You moaned against the glass, your cheek pressed to the surface. “Tell me, baby. You need my fat cock to stretch out your tiny cunt? Need me to shape it to my cock’s size?” 

“Y-Yes—ah.” You arched your back the second his calloused thumb started circling your clit. “Fuck, Toji—oh, fuck. Faster.” He drove in a third finger and his free hand clapped over your mouth to suppress your cry. 

“Shut the fuck up,” he hissed in your ear. “Can you do that for me, doll?” You nodded and he pushed you forward, kneeling down and spreading your asscheeks. “My pussy. You hear that? This is my fucking pussy.” He dragged his tongue over it and up to your little puckered hole. 

You were high on the sounds of him slurping at your release, sucking your folds into his mouth, and teasing your asshole with the tip of his tongue. This was not how you imagined your Friday night to go, but you weren’t gonna complain. You’ve been fantasising about this moment since Toji caught you putting up babysitting flyers in his neighbourhood. 

“My dick’s gonna break off if I don’t put it in now.” He wrapped your hair around his palm and positioned himself at your entrance. “Ready, doll?” 

“Fuck me, Toji. Please.” 

He could get off on your begging alone. 

His hips thrusted forward, his cock filling you to the hilt. He pulled back out and drove in—repeatedly, relentlessly. His palm came down with a bruising slap on your ass without a break. Toji wasn’t going to be satisfied until they were discoloured, until you couldn’t sit down for days. 

Seeing you wanton and moaning his name flicked a switch in his brain. He was going to brandish you in a way that you wouldn’t leave him for weeks. Months. Years. You’d be at his side until your children were arranging your joint funerals. The strange feeling inside his chest felt foreign, almost hindered the speed at which he was rutting in you. This was his first time fucking you after a year of pining and jerking himself off to your picture and he was already envisioning a romantic-movie montage. 

Toji leaned his face back so the water washed away the vision. Then he pulled out and turned you around, kissing your gasping mouth. He entered inside you again, hoisting one leg up. His fingers pinned you in place by your throat while violating your—his—pussy. 

“I’m gonna come inside you,” he breathed out over your swollen lips. 

“Do it.” 

Toji suppressed his groan by crushing his mouth against yours, a guttural growl producing from his throat. His release was everlasting, filling your inside to the brim. You came crashing down, holding the back of his hair and breaking away to breathe. His face nuzzled in the crook of your neck, equally panting. Those large hands settled on your throbbing ass as he completed the last bits of his ministrations. 

 You were both out of breath as you stared at one another. 

Toji blinked when you hugged him around his torso. His arms remained frozen at his side, glimpsing down at your crown. You looked up with those big, doe-eyes and a full-blown smile. Oh, he was so fucked. 

The remainder of the night was spent washing and drying each other, before tangling your naked bodies in bed. 

Toji continuously kissed your lips, his hand running up and down your back. You laid atop his chest, his cock buried within you as you gently rowed your hips back and forth. He planned to keep it nestled in you for the rest of the night. 

“Spend the weekend with me,” he murmured, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “We’ll go out for dinner at an Italian restaurant with Megumi.” 

“Yeah?” You pecked his nose. “We’ll look like a little family.” 

“That little shit already considers you his mother.” 

You chuckled and brushed the tendrils of hair away from his forehead. “Maybe another time. College’s been kicking my ass. Gotta catch up on those assignments if I wanna graduate with honours.” 

Toji found himself desolated. “Can’t you just study here?” 

“Not with two babies whining and crying for my attention.” 

He gave your ass a light smack. You feigned a wince making him caress it immediately. 

“But I can come over in the evening,” you said. “We can go out for ice-cream.”

He smiled at the fact that you were going to make time for him and his son despite your busy schedule. “Ice-cream it is.” 

You laid your head down on his shoulder and adjusted yourself comfortably on his cock. “Goodnight, Mr. Zenin.” 

“Goodnight, doll.” He rested one hand on the back of your head and the other massaging your ass, staring up at the ceiling where his vision played for the rest of night. 

Toji smiled. 

[boynarcing]

And I’m Sick for you, Baby

leon s. kennedy x gn!reader

wc. 1.3k

cw. incest, dad Leon, OOC(duh), implied abuse, alcoholism, puke, forced blowjob, gender neutral reader, Leon’s a POS dad

note. Excuse the poor language🤒 english is annoying to understand… also kind of rushed lol || title is Break by Alex G

Your nose smacks against the wiry hair clustered on Leon’s pelvis, the musky, sweaty smell making your face screw up uncomfortably. You’ve been in this position for hours, your knees pressing hard against the wooden floor, face firmly squashed between your father’s thighs, and hands holding wearily onto his hips.

The dull, aching pain in your knees couldn’t possibly compare to the awful, agonizing stretching going on in your throat, though. Even with the lazy rutting of Leon’s hips against your face, you still couldn’t adjust to the size of his dick. It’s not like it’s massive or anything, you’re just not built for this.

His cock was thick and long; veiny with a dark, meaty shade of red that spread further to his tip whenever he got hard. In terms of appearance, that shit was scary-looking. Not cute and pretty like all the other dicks you see in porn videos or magazines, but intimidating and off putting. Like, the type of stuff random guys send you on social media. It’s always a 50/50.

If you could barely fit it down your throat, how were you ever supposed to fit it inside of you? He’d tear you a new one. Literally.

In your defense, you don’t think anyone could suck dick without fucking up somehow their first try. Not unless they were born for it. And you clearly weren’t. You were born to study your ass off for a degree and work a 9-5 in order to not disappoint your parents, none of which you were succeeding in. Obviously. Look at the position you’re in now.

“Christ,” Leon grumbles from above you, a bored, almost annoyed expression on his face. It’s not your fault he’s got a case of whiskey dick, but you’d admit you don’t know what you’re doing. “you’re bad at this.” He states, taking a swing of the small glass in his freehand, his right one. The left tugs at your hair sternly, guiding you further down his cock. Which isn’t much, considering how your face is already mashed against his pubic hair; you could feel his balls grazing the tip of your chin occasionally.

You can’t do anything like this. The mere laps of your tongue aren’t enough, and the weak suction you give in between gags and sputtering chokes is tickling at best. It’s starting to piss Leon off, to say the least. And the ridiculous face you’re making is turning him off. It’s not as pornstar-looking as you’d wish, and not every man likes the feel of warm snot and drool pooling all over his cock. But then again, maybe it’s just you that lacks sex appeal. He’d put a bag over your face if he could, but he won’t.

As fucked up as he is, he still has the ability to feel at least some sort of pity for you.

Frustrated, Leon bucks his hips forward, ignoring the nasty retch he elicits and groaning when the head of his cock rubs against the back of your throat. That motion alone gets heat pooling in his belly, so he does it again and again. Each time, he rips a throaty gag from you, the desperate clawing and tugging of your hands on his hips doing nothing to stall his movements.

“Fuck,” He huffs, staring through half-lidded eyes at the papers scattered on top his desk, the papers he was supposed to be done and over with hours ago. Some of which included late bills he had forgotten to pay. It’s not like he cares though. He spends his days moping around about the past and failed, lackluster romances with women interested in other women, it’s safe to say he has other things to worry about. Not the kid living under his roof, who has to shower with a bucket of cold water and a bar of soap. It’s not like he has the fucking money to spoil you or something, right?

He’s so busy getting off that he doesn’t notice he’s practically suffocating you with his meat, cramming it into your throat and clogging up your windpipe with each thrust he gives. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re thankful Leon is drunk enough that he’s not putting any thoughtful effort in fucking your face, because if he was, you think you’d be dead. The lack of oxygen starts to make your vision spot with black, and your head feels heavier than usual, a constant throb in your temple making your skull pang as if it were caving in. It’s all too much, far too much.

With a burst of adrenaline, you try to yank and push yourself back, but Leon doubles down and decides that now is when he wants to be cruel. Now is when he wants to tug at your hair and dig his blunt nails into your scalp, holding you in place. He moans, throws his head back and squeezes the back of yours, muffling your pleading whimpers and ragged gasps against the base of his length. You’re so full, so overwhelmed that it feels like you’re going to pass out. Every twitch and pulse of his cock is felt inside your maw, every vein and ridge is felt against your tongue, against your teeth, the inside of your cheeks, your palate. Everything.

Leon gives a particularly hard roll of his hips, and that’s when you feel your stomach churn, your breakfast shooting itself upwards and out your mouth in nasty, hot spews. Breakfast, not even dinner. There’s nothing in this fucking house but Jack Daniel’s and dry ingredients. All the takeout is for dad only.

Leon yelps, and for once he shoves you off his cock faster than you can blink. There’s a first for everything, you suppose.

He stands up straight, gags and covers his mouth with his arm, looking horrified. You’d be too if someone puked on your genitals. The smell isn’t exactly pretty. Is it possible for some of that to slip into his urethra? Is that how that works? You have no idea. But he’s not hard anymore, so any fluid on his dick drips onto the floor instead of back onto him.

“What the fuck!” Leon shouts, fighting back the urge to purge himself. He’s dealt with puke before. Dealt with it his whole life. It’s all he saw whenever he had to take care of his dad throughout nasty hangovers, his mom from overdosing, and himself at bootcamp. But this is different. It’s, dare he think, more traumatizing. It’s his dick, for christ’s sake. The most important part of him.

His eyes flicker around to look for something— anything, but he can’t find a rag or some tissue in the state he’s in, far too hysterical. He’d rather die than let this mess crust over his skin, he’s aware of that much.

Nearly tripping over your fallen form, he curses loudly as he rushes towards the bathroom, moving awkwardly and bumping into things along the way. He’s acting as if he’d just had something shoved up his ass, and the sight might’ve been comical if you weren’t too busy trying to settle your racing heart and catch your breath.

As much as you try, coughing doesn’t clear out the chunks of food and cum stuck somewhere in your throat. Chest heaving, you strain yourself, putting more force into the next cough, only to be humbled when it rips another gag out of you and jerks you forward.

Even with the fuzzy ringing in your ears, you can hear your dad yelling at you in the background, something about beating your ass and something else about how disgusting you were. Yeah, well, what’d he expect? You can’t brush your teeth without gagging, why would this be any easier? He doesn’t need any more ideas. The next thing you know he’s gonna be bothering you about throat training or something.

Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you hope this incident at least makes you lose some weight.

[jqmalikhsgib]

blue skies

chapter: three

note: 5x11 5x13

despite what others may believe, aaron wasn’t the type to get angry so easily. it took a lot of will power to get under his skin.

the man had to have thick skin being a prosecutor and looking sadistic killers in the eye. he learned to control his temper at a very young age. having the parents that he had, the man had no choice.

knowing what he knows now, knowing he had a daughter out there, his own flesh and blood, a little girl who grew up without him for three years, he was livid.

how could she not tell him? how long had she known? why would she keep it a secret for three fucking years?!

aaron had another kid. a precious little girl out there that was half him. jack had a baby sister. god, jack was a big brother!

aaron asked penelope to send any photos on file of his daughter. he knew yn had socials. despite his protest on her keeping them, she still lived her life on social media. aaron just wanted her to be safe. he knows what kind of crazy psychopaths were out there. he knew they could do anything with the blurriest photos. its why he didn’t have social media himself.

knowing her, she’d probably posted one or two photos of their kid on instagram. he had to see what she looked like.

when he did his breath hitched. she was beautiful. his little girl looked so much like him. she had his nose, his eyes, her hair was dark just likes his. she definitely had yn smile though. she was his little girl.

aaron didn’t know what he’d say when he meets her. what would be appropriate? “sorry it took me so long to find you, baby. daddy didn’t know you existed.”

he had no clue. but he promises himself right there, he’s gonna make it right to her. she deserves her father in her life.

when he arrived to texas he rents a car and drives to the address garcia sent him. once he arrives at the apartment buildings, he walks around until he finds hers. he knocks on the door and patiently waits for someone to open the door.

you just arrived home from a long day at work. the only thing you wanted was the relax with your daughter and forget about the horrible day you had.

you send your babysitter on her way after paying her. you and jane play with elizabeth while she continues to play with her toys when you hear a knock on the door.

“must be sara. she probably forgot something, again.” you giggle before getting up to open the door. your eyes widened when you see who it was. you step in the hallway and closed the door behind you.

“aaron?!”

aaron gives you a blank look. you hated when he stared at you like that. almost as if you weren’t there. you knew he was upset when he looked at you like that.

“what are you doing here? how did you find me?”

“im an fbi agent, yn! i have connections. the real question is, when were you gonna tell me about our daughter?!”

your heart felt like it was gonna rip out of your chest. of course he’d find out before you had the opportunity to tell him yourself.

you stood there and cross your arms over yourself protectively. something you’ve done since you were a child.

“aar,”

“you hid this from me yn. three years! three years of me missing every milestone my daughter went through! crawling, her first words, first steps, her first tooth, all of it, yn! how dare you,”

“i tried!”

aaron stops. he looks at you waiting for you to continue.

“i tried, aaron! the night i gave birth to lizzy, i called you! it was the same night i found out i was blocked. you don’t get to be angry at me for keeping our daughter a secret. you left us aaron. you left us behind while i raised that little girl all by myself. do not make me look like the bad guy when you made the choice of cutting me out of your life!”

you tried to keep it together. you didn’t need aaron to see you fall apart. you wiped the single tear drop that fell from your eye.

aaron looks at you with those sad eyes he used to whenever you’d tell him the horrendous stories of your childhood. he runs his fingers through his hair and sighs.

“i—you’re right. i cut you out and im sorry. I’m mad at myself and taking it out on you. i just—i just lost haley and suddenly gained a daughter all in less than a week.” he shrugs his shoulders.

you completely understand. it had to be a lot of information to have in such a short time. you felt bad for aaron. you nod your head slowly.

“she knows about you. of you anyway. she thinks you’re a real life superhero.”

aaron smiles at that. you knew he didn’t feel much like anyone’s hero. but you knew that his son and lizzy thought otherwise made him feel special. you would do anything in your power to keep it that way.

“can i—when can i meet her?”

you give him a sympathetic looks.

“aar, i want to, i do, but how can i trust you? having my heart broken was enough. i won’t let you break lizzy’s heart. you have to be sure this is what you want. you have to be sure you want to be her father. if not, if you can’t bring yourself to be her dad, be in her life for the rest of it, you might as well leave. i won’t let you hurt my baby.”

aaron nods understanding. you knew he’d do the same if the roles were reversed.

“i promise.”

yn nods her head.

“i was suppose to work tomorrow. i still have vacation time so ill take off. you remember the cafe we use to go to?”

“yeah.”

“there is a park across the street. you can meet us there, alright?”

after giving him a good time to meet he left and you walked right back inside. jane stood right in front of you with her arms crossed and one of her infamous cold glares. you looked to see that your daughter wasn’t where she was when you left. you knew it was normally the time she took a nap. when you walked in the kitchen you poured yourself a cup of wine. jane walks right behind you.

“please don’t start, jane.”

“he doesn’t deserve to meet her, yn. he deserves nothing!”

“aaron is her father, jane.”

“who left before he knew she existed. yn, come on, you know im right. how could you let that man meet lizzy?”

you simply roll your eyes. you knew she would never forgive aaron. it wasn’t up to her to forgive. you knew in the end aaron deserved to be in lizzy’s life no matter what you thought about him. even if you hated aaron, which you didn’t, no one could tell you what to do with the child you shared with him.

jane was your best friend. Has been since the moment you met her on the streets. the two of you had similar stories. you loved her like a sister. when she found out you were pregnant and aaron had left you, she was there to help raise elizabeth with you. you will forever be grateful for her! but you told her the if its any moment in your lives where aaron comes back or tires to contact you, you’d introduce him to his daughter. she should have known you would never change your mind.

“jane, i love you. you know that right?”

she nods her head. “good, because what im about to tell you might piss you off. its none of your business what i do when it comes to my kid. what i think is best for her is my decision because she’s my daughter. i am so grateful that for the past few years you have helped me with lizzy. i will forever love and cherish you for that! but in the beginning i told you that if aaron were to come back, she will know who her father is and he will help raise her with me. this doesn’t mean that you arent a huge part of lizzy’s life, but her other parent is still alive and well and wants to know his daughter. I have to give him the opportunity to be lizzy’s dad. you understand that right? please tell me you understand?”

your best friend simply shakes her head angrily. “i don’t, yn. i will never understand why you’re giving aaron another chance.” she states before walking away and slamming the door to her bedroom. you sigh before going to your own bedroom.

about twenty minutes go by and you hear the front door open and closed. you knew it was jane leaving to go blow off some steam. you start crying. you felt like you were letting everyone down. you didn’t know what you could do to fix your relationship with your best friend.

most importantly you didn’t know what to tell your daughter tomorrow. do you just blurt it our. tell her that the man in front of you was her father? should you lie? tell her he was a good friend of yours? should you find something in between. maybe tell her he was an old family friend, maybe call him her uncle hotch? you didn’t know.

suddenly you feel arms wrapped around you.

“mamma, crying. why?”

you look your daughter in the eyes as she wipes away your tears. “im sorry, bug. mamma’s just a little emotional.”

“don’t cry, mamma. don’t like when you sad.”

you kiss the top of her head. “mamma will stop. she feels so much better when you’re around. always making her smile.”

lizzy kisses your cheek. just how you do whenever she cries.

the rest of the night you spent with your daughter. you watched a little tv, played an educational game, fed her, read her a book, and finally put her to bed. when you went to sleep yourself, after a much needed shower, you hear a small knock on your bedroom door. when you opened it you see jane.

“im sorry, yn. you’re right. Its none of my business what you decide is best for lizzy. i just, i don’t wanna see either of you get hurt. it took so long to get you back on your feet when that asshole left. i don’t want him to do that to you again or to my favorite little lizard.” she explains. you nod your head before hugging her tightly.

“i know you’re upset. i promise you, if he fucks this up, i will not forgive him and will do everything in my power to protect my daughter. she comes first in my life, always!” you state. jane nods her head happily with that answer.

“i should probably get some sleep. ill see you tomorrow.”

when you were alone again you finish up the last chapter of your book before drifting off to sleep.

aaron parks his car and waits patiently for yn to arrive, he was completely nervous. he didn’t know what to expect. he was a new father once again. aaron remembered this feeling when he found out that haley had been pregnant with jack.he had nine months to prepare for jacks arrive. nine months to figure out how to be a father to a human being. when finding out that jack was a boy, he had nine months to prepare to care for his son. now being a dad to a little girl, a three year old girl at that, he had less than twenty four hours to be a dad to his daughter.

he takes a deep breath before seeing yn and his little girl walk over to him. he smiles as they get closer. once they were close enough he gets out of the car. his daughter looks at his confused. she looks back over to her mom before whispering.

“whos this, mamma?” she asked in her adorable little voice.

“this is my friend, aaron. say hi, bug.”

the little girl buries her head into her mothers shoulder shyly.

“its okay, bug, aaron is friendly. he won’t hurt you.”

she looks back at aaron. she gives him a shy smile. aaron heart pounds. she was the cutest. she looks a lot like jack did when he was her age.

“hi.” she responds.

“hi! my name is aaron,”

“awen?”

“thats right, bug. he’s gonna play with us at the park. is that okay,baby?”

lizzy nods her head. the three of you walk to the park. aaron played with her for the next thirty minutes. he was getting to know more and more about the little girl.

like the fact that she liked the color blue. “mamma says blue are for girls and boys.”

she was a big fan of pixar movies. “i love toy stowy and cars oh, and finding nemo! but my favorite is the mownster movie.” he knew she meant monsters inc.

she hated strawberries but loved strawberry ice cream. “mamma hates strawberries too, awen. she says they icky.”

when aaron got a bit tired he told his daughter he’d be back. he walks over to where yn was. she was currently reading a book. aaron sits beside her.

“tired already?”

aaron nods his head. he stares at her for a minute before she sets her book down and looks at him. “problem?”

“i just–i cant believe you took care of her for three years. i–i can! just feels like i missed so much. i did miss so much. im sorry, yn! If i would have known or even suspected you were carrying all of this on your own, i wouldn’t have left. you and haley deserved so much better. you both took on the responsibility of raising my children without me.” aaron shakes his head in disappoint. he should have been there. even if that meant not being with yn. he should have never blocked her number to begin with. allowing her to contact him when she needed him. when she was carrying his baby. especially with knowing her story. knowing what she went through in the past, knowing she’s been abandoned before, knowing she’s been knocked down, knowing she’s been lost. aaron truly felt like a failure.

yn shakes her head and grabs his hand. “you’re here right now, aar. you could have found out this piece of information and decided you wanted nothing to do with me or lizzy. Instead, however you found out, you still decided to come to us. that’s what matters.”

aaron nods his head. they stay silent as they watch their daughter. she was now playing in the sandbox. aaron smiles lovingly. he looks over at yn once again. the sight was beautiful. the only thing missing was jack. if jack was here he’d feel like a family. suddenly he felt guilty. he shouldn’t be imagining this right now. he shouldn’t be thinking about his life with yn. not in this moment. he just buried haley! he should be focus on building a relationship with his kid. thats whats important.

“i want to be able to see her more, yn. i will do everything i can to see my little girl. i won’t miss anything else!”

she nods her head. “we can talk about when you’re free to visit. i can make sure both of our schedules are aligned. but, i don’t want her knowing who you are just yet, aar. baby steps, okay?”

aaron simply nods before he walks back over to his daughter and helps her build a sandcastle.

after three nights of being in texas, aaron had to head back home. yn made a promise to keep him updated on anything that happens with lizzy. he wasn’t gonna miss anything in elizabeth’s life ever again.

his first day back at work was a rollercoaster ride. a ex con, dan strader kidnapped his daughter as a ploy to get an uncover cop to commit a series of crimes after stealing the man’s family.

once he closed the case and they arrived back home he called penelope to his office.

“shut the door, please?”

penelope does as told before standing nervously by the door.

“you can relax, garcia. you’re not in any trouble.”

garcia lets out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding.

“i just want to thank you for keeping my secret. i know it’s a lot for you, but i appreciate it.”

“of course, sir.”

“that being said, i need you to keep it, penelope. it’s crucial that this stays between us.”

“oh.”

“is that a problem?”

“no, sir. well, yeah, kinda! you know how i am with keeping secrets. it’s why it’s a rule not to tell me any christmas gifts the teams got each other.”

aaron gestures to the seat. penelope sits down across from her stoic boss.

“penelope, i lost someone from an evil man. these people, knowing about jack scares me everyday. my son doesn’t deserve to be targeted because of me. i will do whatever it takes to keep him safe knowing what’s out there. i need people to know little about me and this team as possible. that includes everything in our private lives. this—penelope i can’t lose her, jack or my daughter. i won’t recover from that. i just—i won’t.” aaron voice breaks at the thought.

penelope nods understandably.

“your secrets safe with me, hotch. i—i will do everything in my power to keep it to myself. even if i have to super glue my mouth.”

aaron gives her one of his winning smiles he rarely pulls out. “that won’t be necessary, garcia. thank you!”

penelope nods her head before getting up and walking towards the door. she grabs the knob before stopping and turning back around.

“for what it’s worth, sir, she’s really beautiful. yn and your daughter.”

“thank you.” aaron whispers before he gets back to his paperwork and penelope leaves.

“she says she misses you. she asked when you’re coming back.” you state over the phone.

it’s been two months since aaron found out about lizzy. he came to visit a few times. lizzy really enjoyed whenever he was around. you’ve never seen her smile so widely.

last time when he visited lizzy cried. the only way you got her to calm down was to call aaron. he promised that he’d be back before she knows it.

you still haven’t told lizzy aaron was her father. you weren’t quite there yet.

“i miss her too. i hate being away from her. have you thought about the conversation we had?”

you bite the bottom of your lip. aaron had asked you if you’d ever consider to move to washington. you knew what he meant by that. aaron wasn’t asking just to be closer to lizzy. he was asking so you’ll be closer to each other. potentially getting back together. even if it’s in the far future.

you wanted to, you truly did, but you weren’t one sure you wanted to move your kid a few miles away this young.

“im still thinking, aar. it’s not as simple as you think. my whole life’s here.”

“hone—yn, i just want my family together. is there anything i can do or say to change your mind?”

“you’re just gonna have to let me think things through, aar.”

you hear his sigh through the phone. “im sorry. im rushing you. i just wished i could see lizzy whenever.”

“i know. i promise that once i have everything figure out you will be the first one to know.”

“thank you. i should go. i think we might have another case. ill call you back later tonight.”

you smiled before ending the call and getting back to making your daughter lunch.

aaron looks at jj before she speaks.

“sorry, hotch. is this a bad time?”

“no, its fine. what’s going on jj?”

aaron noticed the look of despair on her face. normally when jj gets nervous its a case that affects her in a personal light.

jj tells him about a potential case in wyoming. two teenagers were found hanging in their bedroom in the same rural county. aaron didn’t know if it was a case but he wasn’t gonna take the risk of it being something bigger.

after presenting the case to the team they took the jet and headed straight to wyoming. once they arrived they got to work immediately. the whole team trying to determine if it was homicides or suicides.

once they figured out it was definitely homicides they start to investigate further. aaron was in the middle of watching derek and spencer interview their main suspect when his phone rings. he looks at the caller id and sees its yn calling.

he sent her straight to voicemail. he focused back on the case, leaving her a message before turning his phone off and giving his attention back to the case.

after they solved the case, aaron and the team went back on the jet and were on their way back home. aaron turns his phone back on and instantly get many notifications from yn. he reads her text and begins to panic. he walks away from the team and calls her back immediately.

“i just got your message. im sorry, i was working. i turned off my phone. is she alright?”

“she broke her arm, aar. she’s in a cast.”

aaron runs his hands through his hair. “im flying there! as soon as i get off—”

“that’s not necessary, aaron.”

“she’s hurt, yn. i should be there!”

“what about jack?”

aaron knew she was being reasonable. he just felt guilty for not being there. he should be there now.

“ill bring him with.”

“aar,”

“please don’t fight be on this, yn? i wanna be there. i told you im not missing anything else from her life. the good or bad.”

she sighs. “okay. just—let me know when you’re on the plane, okay?”

“yeah. is she asleep?”

“no. she’s laying beside me. do you wanna talk to her?”

“may i?”

aaron hears some static before hearing his little girls voice. “awen?”

“hi, lizzy. i heard you got hurt?”

“yeah. owchy.” she sniffles.

“im sorry, sweetheart. im sure you’ll get better soon.”

“when you coming back, awen. miss you.”

aaron’s heart breaks. he feels the same way whenever jack tells him he missed him. it hurts him every time. but he’d do whatever it takes to put these evil murders behind bars to make it a little safer for his children.

“how ‘bout i come over in the morning?”

“yeah?! pwomise?”

aaron smiles. “i promise.”

“okay! love ya, awen!”

now his heart pounds happily. “i love you too, sweetie. can you give the phone back to mamma?”

aaron hears static once more before hearing yn voice. “hey. you made her happy again. thank you.”

“im her dad. ill always try and make her happy. her and her mom.” aaron whispers the last part. he knew she heard. he could tell she’s now smiling herself.

“we’ll see you soon, okay?”

“okay. bye.” aaron ends the call with a small smirk. dave walks over to him with a glass of scotch.

“who is she?”

“what?”

“come on, aaron! ive known you for decades. i can tell when you’re smitten. that’s the same look i saw on your face a few years ago when you were seeing that—what was her name? yn?”

aaron looks at dave and he caught on quickly.

“ah. since when?”

“a month. but we’re not—we’re not back together.”

“yet.” dave smirks as he takes a sip of his scotch.

aaron looks around to make sure no one was listening. when he saw spencer and emily playing poker, derek listening this his music, and jj and penelope talking he gets back to talking to dave.

“it’s complicated.”

“how so?”

aaron sighs. “after we broke up i made the mistake of blocking her number,”

“i get it. you were still freshly divorced and jack was barely a year old. you still had faith in getting your family back together. im sure she understands that.”

“dave, i just lost haley.”

dave nods understandably.

“but that’s not even the biggest problem. she—she was pregnant when i left her, dave. i have another kid. a daughter.”

“wow. does jack know he has a sister?”

aaron shakes his head. “he just lost his mom. she doesn’t even know im her dad, yet. yn isn’t ready to tell her. it’s fine, you know? i just don’t wanna miss anything else, dave. ive already missed three years. i refuse to miss anymore.”

“you shouldn’t. but she lives in texas right?”

aaron sighs before nodding. “yeah. i asked her to move to washington. she’s considering it.”

“that’s a big step?”

“is it?”

“aaron, this isn’t some woman. look, i know you loved haley. a part of you will forever love haley. but we both know that relationship you had with her died a long time ago. you tried to convince yourself that it could still work after the divorce because she was the mother of your only child at the time. truth is you fell in love with this yn woman. and honestly, i don’t think you’ve ever stopped. and now that you have a kid with her, you want to make it work, be a family. you both may need time. with haley’s passing still fresh and her trying to trust you again, its still something you want. im sure its still something she wants to. the fact that she’s even considering moving a thousand miles to be closer to you tells me she’s wouldn’t be moving just for your daughter, but because she knows its a chance of you getting back together.” dave finished.

“i do still love her, dave. never stopped. i just feel completely guilty for feeling this way about anyone other than haley.”

“you don’t need to rush this, aaron.”

aaron nods. he’s glad he has a friend like dave. one to help him navigate his life.

“so, what’s my god daughters name? gotta start a trust fund for her.”

aaron smiles. “elizabeth.”

“got any photos?”

“only tens of thousands. since finding out yn sends me one or two every day. plus the few ive taken.” aaron states while he opens his cellphone and hands it to dave.

“she’s adorable, aaron. looks like you!”

“she does, doesn’t she?” aaron smiles.

for the rest of the ride back home aaron tried to get some sleep. preparing himself for another flight.

when aaron arrived lizzy was taking a nap. he was holding a sleeping jack in his arms. you let them in.

“you can set him down on the couch if you like.”

aaron nods his head before he sets him down. “is she asleep?”

you simply nod your head. “sorry? you missed her by five minutes.”

“it’s alright.”

you walk into the kitchen. “do you want anything to drink?”

“a water would be nice, thank you.”

you simply nod your head before handing him a bottle of water.

“how is she?”

“as good as she can be. she’s still a bit emotional. i had to tell her we couldn’t go to the park for awhile. that made her cry more.”

aaron nods.

“but she remembered you were on your way. she stood by the door for a good ten minutes before i told her it’ll be awhile before you got here. she kept saying she needed to stay for her best friend aaron.” you smiled at that knowledgement.

aaron smiles at that. you loved that smile more than anything. it’s why what you’re about to tell him made you feel happy. it was a difficult decision but you knew it was the right one. jane on the other hand was upset but she knew in the end you were right.

“aar, i—i thought really hard about what we spoke about a few days ago. i—it was hard for me to decide this. i didnt wanna uproot lizzy’s life at at such a young age. but she needs you around more. and after her arm broke she cried for you as well. our kid, she’s pretty smart. i think—i think deep down she knows you’re her dad. it’s why she has this deep attachment to you already. you’re so important to her. you’re—you’re important to me too.”

“does this mean you’re gonna move to washington?”

“yes. with jane and i’s credentials, we already have so many offices wanting to hire us in washington. we’ll be flying out there in two weeks for our interviews and hopefully we each get one of the secretary jobs. if we do we’ll move as soon as we find a place.”

aaron smiles the biggest you’ve seen him smile. he walks over to you and hug you tightly. “thank you, yn. this—this means a lot.” he states before pulling away. you were inches away from your lips touching until you cleaned your throat.

you weren’t ready yet. and you highly doubt aaron was either.

“sorry.”

“it’s fine.” you simply shake your head before speaking again. “does jack know?”

aaron shakes his head. “i—i figured we should tell them around the same time. jack doesn’t need to know just yet.”

you nod understandably. you were relieved he hadn’t told jack yet. you wanted lizzy to know before jack. that way jack won’t accidentally spill it to lizzy.

“daddy?” aaron walks over to his son.

“hey, buddy. how was your nap?”

“good. where are we?”

“um—we’re at a friends house. jack, this is yn. yn, this is my son jack.”

you wanted to meet aarons son for the longest. he looks so much like aaron. you bend down to his height before shaking his hand.

“hi, jack! im your dads friend. ive heard so much about you!”

“really?”

“mhm. heard you liked legos. is that true?” jack nods his head.

“well, you’re in luck! i happen to have a ton of legos. my daughter loves playing with them too. wanna help build a firehouse?”

jack eyes widened. he turns to his dad with the most adorable bug eyes. it must be a genetic trait jack and lizzy get from aaron.

“can i, daddy?”

“absolutely, buddy! come on.”

you knew lizzy would be up soon. you walk into her room and seen her sit up. she rubs her eyes slowly.

“momma?”

“look who’s here, baby?!”

lizzy opens her eyes wider and smiles when she sees aaron. you looked over at him seeing him frown at her sky blue cask.

“awen!” she jumps out of bed and hugs him after he picks her up.

“careful, sweetie. don’t wanna hurt yourself more.”

“miss you, awen.”

“i miss you as well.”

“who’s this daddy?”

“jack, this is yn daughter lizzy.”

“hi, im jack!”

lizzy looks at you shyly. “it’s okay, bug. jack is aaron’s son.”

lizzy gasped. “weally?!”

aaron laughs. “yeah!”

“hi, jack. i lizzy! your daddy very nice! he my fwiend. wight awen?”

“that’s right, sweetie.”

“daddy, cool!” jack states matter of factly.

“i was thinking we could build the lego firehouse mamma just bought. how’s that sound?”

“yeah, mamma! awen and jack help too?”

“absolutely, bug!”

lizzy claps her hands. aaron sets her down before the four of you start playing with the legos. if this was what life was gonna be like forever you could definitely get use to this.

[isthlsfate]

⌞ 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 ! ⌝

🎸⋆｡𖦹°‧

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫: unraveling reality

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: black!cheerleader!reader, anxiety and panic attacks, self-doubt, emotional vulnerability, cursing, mentions of blood and death, parents being readers #1 haters, fighting

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯 𖥔 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭

🎸⋆｡𖦹°‧

march 23rd, 1986

“mom? dad?” you call out, your voice echoing through the dimly lit corridor of your house.

the soft ticking of a clock grows louder as you approach your parents' room, the sound almost rhythmic, insistent.

the door is ajar, casting a sliver of light across the darkened hallway. you push it open slowly, the hinges creaking. your parents' heads snap up in unison, their eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine.

an unsettling feeling grips you as they gaze at you with profound disappointment.

the ticking intensifies, reverberating through your skull like a relentless drumbeat. a foul stench wafts through the air, mingling with the oppressive atmosphere.

“how could you, (y/n)? that munson kid? he’ll tarnish your perfect image. you’re too good for him.” your mother’s voice drips with venomous disdain.

your heart hammers in your chest, a surge of confusion washing over you as you struggle to grasp how they’ve learned about eddie.

“what? i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you stammer, the lie barely escaping your lips.

“don’t lie to us!” your father’s voice booms, causing you to flinch. “you’re a failure, (y/n)!”

he takes a menacing step forward, and your eyes catch a glimpse of something ominous on the floor behind him.

before you can focus, your father’s hand is gripping your chin, forcing you to meet his cold, unyielding gaze.

“your mother and i are very disappointed in you. we had to teach you a lesson.” he says with a chilling smirk. he steps aside, still clutching your chin, and you’re compelled to look at the floor.

a scream erupts from the depths of your being as the horrifying sight before you nearly makes you vomit.

tears stream down your face as you wrench yourself free from your father’s grasp and collapse to the floor.

“oh god.” you murmur, hovering over eddie’s mangled body, your voice breaking. “eds, i’m so sorry.”

“don’t be sorry, darling. it’s what he gets for getting too close to you. just like that billy kid.” your mother’s voice is cold and unfeeling.

a surge of red-hot anger wells up inside you.

“why do you hate me?” you scream, a sharp headache throbbing in your temples.

“you’re destined to be alone. it’s just the price you have to pay for being perfect.”

“fuck you! i don’t want to be perfect! when will you understand? i’m not some robot molded to your desires!”

“oh, but you don’t have a choice, dear.” your mother’s voice distorts, becoming warped and disorienting. “you will do as we say, forever. anyone who gets too close will die.”

a piercing scream escapes you, your body drenched in cold sweat.

you kick the covers away, gasping for breath.

your heart races as you scan your room, finding it unchanged from the night before. the vividness of your nightmare lingers, suffocating in its realism.

you flick on the lamp and glance at the clock on your bedside table.

6:45

you exhale a long, weary sigh, resigning yourself to the fact that it’s time to face the day. shuffling to the bathroom, you keep your gaze fixed on your feet, weighed down by exhaustion and dread.

when you finally look up, a gasp escapes your lips.

crimson blood trickles from your nose, staining your face.

you snatch a wad of toilet paper, quickly dabbing away the blood, then finish your morning routine, forcing yourself into an outfit suitable for school.

*

with a heavy sigh, you yank your hoodie up over your head, hoping it might shield you from the relentless buzz of the crowded school hallways.

each step feels heavier than the last as you saunter through the throngs of students, your body weighed down by the remnants of a nightmare that still clings to your mind.

the terror of that dream has left you feeling like a shell of yourself—weak, exhausted, and utterly disoriented.

every muscle aches with fatigue, and your thoughts swirl in a chaotic haze.

you keep your eyes fixed on the floor, doing your best to block out the concerned and curious glances thrown your way.

as the so-called princess of hawkins high, the pressure to be perfect gnaws at you, making you resentful of the fact that even on your worst days, there’s no escape from the watchful eyes of those around you.

today, more than ever, you wish for just a moment to be invisible.

“your weakness is showing. they’re starting to see that you’re a fraud.” (tick)

the thought strikes you like a cold blade, and you wince as a dull ache begins to throb in your temples.

you catch sight of chrissy standing by her locker with jason, her face lighting up with a kind smile when her eyes meet yours. you try to return it, but it falters, the effort making your lips tremble.

you reach your locker beside hers and fumble with the combination, your hands clumsy and shaking.

you shove the unnecessary books inside, trying to ignore the way your heart pounds in your chest, each thud echoing in your ears.

the bell for lunch rings throughout the building, and you pinch your eyes shut, the sound grating against your frayed nerves.

“what’s got you looking so emo?” jason’s voice cuts through the noise as he nudges you, the smirk on his face almost mocking.

you don’t notice the pointed look chrissy gives him, too lost in your own swirling thoughts.

“just didn’t sleep well,” you mumble, offering a fragment of the truth.

the excuse seems to satisfy him, and he quickly turns his attention to his basketball friends as you all make your way to the table.

before you can sit down, chrissy places a gentle hand on your arm, her touch warm and comforting.

“i’m here if you need to talk, (y/n),” she says softly, her gaze piercing through the fragile mask you’ve put on.

her kindness makes you squirm, and you look away, muttering, “thanks, chrissy, but i’m okay.”

you pull away from her, rushing off to the lunch line before she can say anything else, before her concern can unravel the fragile hold you have on yourself.

the line moves at a steady pace, but time seems to stretch, every second dragging on as you stare at the empty tray in front of you.

you barely register the lunch lady plopping today’s menu items onto your plate, the food just another weight on your mind.

when you reach the end of the line to pay, a ringed hand suddenly pushes yours out of the way, handing the lunch lady some cash.

you look up in confusion to see eddie standing there, a small smirk playing on his lips.

your heart skips a beat, but fear quickly overtakes it, your mind racing with the implications of his kind act.

“you know what will happen if you let him get too close.” (tock)

you choose to brush eddie off, avoiding even a glance in his direction as you grab your tray and make your way back to the table. but he doesn’t back down, his presence trailing behind you like an unwelcome shadow, clinging too close for comfort.

“h-hey, you okay?” his voice is hesitant as he grabs your arm, the warmth of his touch sending a shiver down your spine.

the moment freezes, and you see jason and the others looking over, their faces a mix of confusion and irritation.

you look up at the curly haired boy with tear-filled eyes, pleading silently for him to let go, to not make this any harder than it already is.

“what the fuck do you think you’re doing, freak?” jason’s voice cuts through the tension like a knife, and he stands up, his body tense with anger. your gaze flickers to chrissy, but her fear-stricken expression mirrors your own.

“i-i….” eddie stammers, his voice breaking.

“(y/n), is he bothering you?” patrick steps forward, his tone protective.

you give eddie one last saddened glance, the words forming on your lips before you can stop them. “not sure why the freak thinks he can just come up to me like that.”

the sound of jason’s fist connecting with eddie’s face is like a thunderclap, loud and final.

the guilt and shame hit you all at once, crushing your chest, and before you know it, you’re abandoning your lunch tray and running, running as fast as you can away from the scene, away from the consequences, away from yourself.

[offthefieldsmau]

⚽ 1.14

As far as coffee dates with team dads you’ll be coaching their pee-wee soccer teams went, Ed would have said this was probably the best he had ever been on.

And fuck did he have to dash the thought away of “This is the best date I’ve ever been on, period,” because the path that led down was not something to ponder as the sun looked ready to set on a Tuesday.

“So,” Stede said as he set down his half-drank cup and when his phone notified him of another text message, he typed a quick message and pocketed the device (the furrow in his brow was too cute,) “we should probably talk about the team at some point.”

Ed smiled at him, “But I was so invested in your cat adoption story.”

Stede got that cute shade of pink across his cheeks again, “Yes, well, I’ve got plenty of silly stories,” and his long fingers carded through those golden curls; Ed couldn’t look away if he tried, “but I’ll need to pick up the kids soon.”

Ah. Right. The D in DILF.

“Yeah, no of course,” Ed sipped his coffee, “what should we discuss?”

Stede folded his hands in his lap, “It’s all pretty straight forward — we’re Flight 2, so it’s more competitive youth soccer. We stay within clumps of the county — I don’t know exactly where you’re located, but it’s not like we’re traveling far by any means. Unless we make the championships, which is unlikely. 16 games a season. Usually two practices a week. I can send you all the location information, too.”

Ed was paying attention. He was watching, at least. Not so much hearing, as his eyes kept drifting down to Stede’s lips and looking at the way his curls licked at his ears. It was ridiculous how attractive he was — wireframes sitting on the cute jut of his nose, hands gesturing casually as he explained…

What, exactly? Ed got lost in a world of thoughts that consisted of “Is he wearing a sports coat to a coffee meetup?” and “what kind of cologne is that?” and “I wonder where his wedding ring is.”

“—which you’re invited to, of course. But that’s about it! Do you have any questions?”

Ed realized he was leaning forward, gazing at Stede, and quickly sat straight, “Uh, can you repeat that last part?”

Stede, feeling the way Ed’s eyes tracked him, sat back in his chair and hid his nervous smile behind a sip of coffee, “We have a team pre-season barbeque. I usually host it — the kids come over, play in the pool, the parents mingle. It’s pretty standard suburban life. You’re more than welcome to come and meet the team and parents, of course. I’m sure they’d love to meet you.”

“I’m sure they would,” Ed muttered to himself. And the idea of rubbing elbows with soccer enthusiasts who heard Blackbeard would be coaching their team didn’t sit well with him.

It wasn’t an enticing idea, but the way Stede’s eyes — a kaleidoscope of gold and green and brown — looked at him so earnestly, Ed couldn’t help the voice in his head. It repeated that ever-present thought, like an angel on his shoulder, goading him into taking this new adventure of his life with a full-steam-ahead gusto.

“I’d love to be there. Especially if I get to meet Gizmo,” Ed grinned after a sip of his latte, “and the kids, of course.”

“Right! The kids,” Stede checked his watch absently, but quickly returned his attention to Ed, “I think they’ll love you. You’re great company. With me, at least.”

“You’re not bad company yourself, tiger,” and as Stede blushed a more prominent red after the wink Ed threw his way registered, Ed made a solemn vow to get Stede as flustered as possible every single time they met.

[marketable-puckshie]

You guys get absolutely no context for this.

Selfish

Sitting next to an older boy, Puck sighs. "I wanted to let you know I'm quitting the league challenge."

His eyes don't even widen. "Yeah, figured. Any reason in particular, or...?"

Truthfully, the blonde is glad to hear it. They've been nothing but trouble since they came to Reborn, even if they ended up on the same side in the end. Taka finds he hates selfishness, and the brunette beside him is one of the most selfish people he's met.

"You can probably guess." He pinches the bridge of their nose, exhausted- what do they even have to be tired of? Running?

It makes the older boy scoff. "You know who's probably tired? Your mother, wondering where her kid's run off to or if you're even alive."

"I know-" Puck starts, but Taka keeps speaking.

"Your father who's been sending people out to get you and having to pay their medical bills because it just so happens that they run into Team Meteor before finding you. Your fiancée who probably wonders if you hate him that much that you'd run away before the wedding."

"I KNOW!" They stand up, and while the other boy thinks they have no reason to cry, tears well up on their eyes. "I'm fucking tired of running! And maybe home wasn't perfect, but who cares?! I shouldn't have left! I fucking know!"

"Don't yell, yeesh. Besides, the only people who deserve to cry right now are your parents." Taka sighs, groans at the pathetic sight. "You're the most selfish person I've met. I might not be a model son myself, but at least I listened to my father...until he died, even."

Puck plops back down. "I know. Maybe...maybe if I apologize and play nice it'll be okay."

"That's rich. If I were you, I'd just take my lumps and hope your fiancée isn't too angry to wed. Your parents know best, after all, and you just threw that away- for what?" The blonde crosses his arms. "Just because your dad stopped putting up with your fussing? Be glad he even put up with it as long as he did. My father wouldn't take any of what you put your parents through."

They side eye him. "I know I'm selfish. What's a couple whoopin's when you deserve it, right? Fat chance, I couldn't even handle someone raising their voice at me a little."

The two sit silent, tense for a moment. Taka can't stand this; they have no right to complain when their parents did everything they could to give their kid a future where they wouldn't have to worry about struggling or doing much of anything outside the house. What kind of idiot abandons that?

Apparently, the one struggling not to sob next to him. It's pathetic.

"Y'all probably won't hear from me ever again. Maybe that's for the best."

Taka sure hopes so.

[dreamauri]

♪ — 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗜𝗖 𝗗𝗜𝗘𝗗 - part five max verstappen x girlfriend! driver! reader (angst + fluff, minor smut) “. . . max misses you and everything reminds him of moments he shared with you.”

( fic master list | general master list ) ( previous | next )

You glared at him, despising him with your very being. Although still leading the f3 championship, you felt unfulfilled. Empty.

Max had just seen you after returning from the podium celebration. He felt guilt swirl in his stomach, weighing down his lungs, seeing you eye the trophy in his hand. You were on the receiving end of a very harsh scolding from your parents, one that was going too far.

"I'm sorry-" You tried, but you were only pulled closer to your father by your ear. "I pay my life's savings, I put my blood and sweat into you and you let that blind Verstappen kid push you out." "I'm sorry-" "Yes, I heard you the fucking first time. Is that the only thing you can say?! Sorry doesn't fix this shit. You lost."

You hissed in pain when he finally let your ear go, putting your cold hand over it in an attempt to numb it out. You did your best to hide your tears by wiping them away quickly and evening out your breath. You felt cramped in the hoard of people, so you pushed through the crowd trying to find a quiet place to recollect yourself.

When Max finally found you, sitting on the floor in a random hallway with your head resting in between your legs. The Dutch boy didn't know why he was looking for you with an extra bottle of water, he blamed it on the guilt in his chest, especially after seeing your parents treat you the way they did.

Held out the bottle for you to take, waiting for you to look up and notice him. But you never did, he was starting to think you died, and he was going to be the one blamed for your murder. So with his fingers crossed, he nudged your head with the bottle, which was a mistake.

You knew it was max, and you ignored him with the hopes of sending the message that you didn't want him here. But apparently, that was not enough. So you pulled your arm back, and punched what you could reach.

Max fell on the floor, hands in between his legs, a few whimpers falling from his mouth. "GET THE HINT." You shouted at him, getting up on your feet, not wasting any time and walking away. "I'm sorry." He called making you stop in your tracks. Your head lowered to your feet, hands clenched into fists. "What are you APOLOGISING FOR? FOR THE FACT THAT YOU'RE BLIND?! OR BECAUSE YOU COST ME POINTS?!" You shouted, turning around.

You wanted to put your knucks in his face, and break his nose again. "I brought ice for your ear." He mumbled, pulling the packet out of his pocket. You looked back at him with disgust and confusion on your face. Why was Max trying to be nice? Why would anyone ever want to be nice to you?

Your eyes watered again as you continued to stare with rage at your rival, who slowly recovered and climbed back on his feet. "What do you want max?"

How you ended up in an ice-cream parlour in Montfort was unknown to you. All you knew was that your Dad was going to kill you, not because you were hours away, because you were in Verstappen territory. "Uh, that one." You pointed at the ice-cream flavour you thought you would hate the least. "How 'bout this one?" Max scooped another flavour anyways, ignoring your choice.

You gave him a 'are you serious' glare. "What's the point in asking if you were going to pick for me anyways." You scoffed at the cone he passed to you. "Just to piss you off." He mumbled. You raised a fist in a threatening manner, prompting Max to cover his sensitive organ with one hand and point at you with the other hand. "Ok ok, I just knew you'd like this one more. Sorry, damn."

"Asshole." You scoffed, starting to bite into your ice cream. The boy looked at you shocked. "Psycho." He mumbled, receiving the ice-cream in his face. ". . . I deserved that."

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Max you're late!" Lando shouted over the voice chat making Max wince at the loud noise. "You were taking so long mate, we were already starting." Charles backed up as Max sighed, turning on his camera.

"I was busy." Max replied looking straight into the lenses with all seriousness. He was wearing glasses that made you question how he kept a straight face, because everyone else on the call were practically dying, wheezing to much as if they were a victim of the supervillain joker.

Max was wearing the funkiest pink glasses that did not match him at all. With fluff and butterflies and even the Porsche logo on slinkies to jiggle around. They were a gift from you as a joke, to tell him you got a contract with Porsche, and he kept them for some reason.

"Max what are you wearing?" Alex could barely ask, his camera showing him wheezing on the floor, face red. "A gift." The Dutch boy replied, a soft smile on his face.

"OK, ok. Lando breathed trying to calm down but failing miserably. "We're- We're playing f1 24." Charles said through laughs.

"Dibs on Y/N." Max called as he joined the online game, picking the Porsche driver. "No fair." Daniel shouted trying to pick you first. He was too late, because your digital persona was dancing on Max’s screen.

Unlike the previous years, and unlike other drivers. The developers of the game decided to include a lot of your personality in your honour. That included your persona acting a lot like you; dancing, head bobbing, doing handstand, singing.

Max watched as your character held onto one side of the headphone while you hummed to the song as you head bopped. Max watched you, it was the first time looking at you in a while. He quickly wiped his eyes before switching to his sight glasses. "Lalalalalala." You sang.

"Oh my god. That's her actual voice." Lando smiled, laughing. "No way actually?" Charles questioned trying to listen. "Can I get a kiss? And can you make it last foreverrrrr. I said I'm 'bout to go to war." "I don't know if I'ma see you again." The boys sang, completing your lyrics.

Max laughed, feeling his heart warm. You've affected the people around you so much and you never got to see it. His eyes teared up, listening to you sing when he crossed the finish line first. "oh god, I miss her so much." Alex laughed with tears streaming down his eyes, running his hands over his eyes.

"You tell me." Max chuckled, wiping his eyes dry.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"And setting a new record. Y/N L/N, at the age of 17, wins her first grand prix. A night full of celebrations, for Toro Rosso and the L/Ns."

Max sighed, sinking in the couch chair, looking at the footage of you celebrating your first win. He was watching a playlist of all your wins in f1, from the newest to oldest, which led to your first win in your formula one career.

You were able to skip f2 after winning the f3 championship and jump straight into the red bull juniors team, only spending two months as a reserve driver before they finally put you in toro rosso. Although a risky move, it was a successful one.

Max remembers, sneaking away to watch your races. Never sure why he was rooting for you. And whenever you'd run into each other, you'd give him a cocky smirk because you beat him into the big leagues.

"You are the dancing queennnnn. Young and sweet, only seventeeeeeeen." You sang, humming the song's melody, dancing in your car as you pulled into parc ferme.

Max watched as you did one of your iconic victory dances on top of your car, a small warm smile on his face. He would've loved to share one with you during your last podium, which you never got to attend.

"She's not going to be any happier with you if you keep lazing on my couch eyes boring into your phone." The Ausie man shook his head, setting the smoothie he made on the coffee table. "I just wanted to hear her voice again." Max shrugged, sitting up and taking a sip from the glass.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The redbull team was hanging out together, and by team I mean you, Daniel, Carlos, and Max. As for the reason Max was invited, you didn't know. Was he in the group chat and thought he was invited? You didn't care, because you were on higher pedestals now with red bell, while he drove a sad toro rosso.

All you knew was, you managed to get your hands on your dad's yacht and invited the boys. Carlos was teaching you flamenco dancing and you found yourself enjoying it. Daniel was old enough to drink, so he enjoyed your dad's whiskey and vodka. And Max . . . Max was just watching you.

And somehow by 5pm, Carlos and Daniel left ( somehow ). And somehow, you were straddling max's hips, grinding onto him as you made out aggressively and needily. You didn't want to, neither did you need to know how you ended up like this.

"You both kicked off your shoes. Man, I dig those rhythm and bluuuuues." The music sang in the background. "Give me a chance." Max whispered in your ear after flipping you over so he was on top.

"I was a lonely teenage bronckin' buck. With a pink carnation and a pickup truck. But I knew I was out of luck."

He didn't realise when, but he felt a force pulling him towards you, like a magnet . . . a force of attraction. Attraction, he was attracted to you. The more Max got to know you, the more he found himself wanting you, needing you. He found himself . . . falling in love with you. Your smile, your laugh, your jokes, your spirit.

And you nodded, giving him a chance, one that you glad you took. And so, it all started.

"The day, the music died."

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Hey, Verstappen."

"What's so important that you have to call me in the middle of the night?"

"You're going to want to come down to the hospital."

[pinkmcdreamypants]

Some Unholy War🍒

Pairing: william afton/babysitter!reader

Rating: NSFW !! 18+ only plssssss thanks

Warnings: Smut, choking, slight claustrophobia??? bad writing,,,, horny william,,,,

Sweat gathered between your thighs. Your eyes rolled back into your head, the car jostled and jerked and groaned underneath you, hot air swirling with sweet perfume and strong cologne.

Good god was it hot.

108F° and you were so done with it. You were riding in the passenger seat belonging to one William Afton, the leather underneath you sweltering, though nothing was as warm as the heat that gathered between your legs as you daydreamed about your new boss.

You had needed a summer job. So so bad. Your friends had left for summer camp already, being blessed with upper class parents who could easily afford to send their children not only to an expensive camp, but pay for their college as well. You had to choose between tagging along for the last week, or not being able to get by your first year of schooling without having to take out student loans. Reluctantly, you had chosen to stay behind, vowing to make enough money over the first two months of summer to join your girlfriends before it was too late. You all would be going off to separate colleges, and though you had promised to stay in touch, you had major FOMO. So, here you were. In a car with a much older man who made your pulse rise and your brain go fuzzy. Oh. And who was conveniently paying you $50 an hour to watch his kids, on top of giving you rides to and from his house.

You had barely gotten to know William over the past few weeks, talking to him briefly in the car and giving him short reports on the children’s behavior when he returned from work. He wasn’t a terribly open person you had decided. That only added to your attraction to him. Oh god where would you start. Maybe with his voice. That smooth, dark, arresting voice. You could imagine him saying your name while he made sweet love to you, his rough hands reaching places you’d only ever dreamed of in your bed at night. “Y/N,” Oh god. “Love, look at you taking me so good, fuck.” You imagined saying his name back, gently cooing as he stuffed you full. “William, mmnm” or maybe he preferred sir? “Sir, Mr. Afton, please,” begging for sweet release as the heat in your intimate areas spread throughout the rest of your body…

“Ah fuck!”

You suddenly realized how hot you had actually become, and the gravity of the situation you were in. Snapping out of your daydream, you noticed that there was smoke coming from the hood of the car. The shiny vehicle creaked and groaned and lulled to a stop, William gripping the wheel with his irresistible strength and yanking it to pull you both safely to the side of the road before his Chevy shuddered and shut down. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t scared, but witnessing a display of strength from the man who you were daydreaming about almost sent you into another haze. You watched as he brought his thick fingers up to his nose bridge, squeezing as he contemplated what to do. All was quiet for a few moments, your throat going dry in anticipation (and because your insides were being broiled, god you needed water).

Hesitantly, you reached a hand out to touch William’s knee. “M-Mr. Afton? Is everything alright?”

His deep voice, laced with frustration, answered back, “Ah, everything is alright dearest. It’s so damned hot out here…” He trailed off, opening the car door and shutting it with a slam.

The pet name sent lustful shivers down your spine, and you silently cursed yourself for having such thoughts in what would probably be your final moments due to heat exhaustion. While William lifted the hood and proceeded to rummage through car parts, you squirmed in your seat and turned to grab some water from a small cooler in the back seat. There was one bottle left, and the ice surrounding it was close to gone. You rummaged through it nonetheless. To your relief, you find a popsicle. Simple, but it would do. It was long, slender, cherry flavored, and cool to the touch. You bit your lip as you considered saving it for William’s kids, not noticing that the man himself was very much aware of your compromising position.

His hands caked with dirt, the pale skin of his arms reddened from the sun and dripping with sweat. Even his cool grey eyes, which were usually adorned with pin-prick, icy pupils. They were wide and glossy and warm as he took in your features. The soft, glistening skin of your thighs, sticking together ever so slightly as you bent over his plush black seats. His seats. His car. His plump little ass slightly swaying as you dug through the ice, checking and double checking for more relief.

You were so caught up in how good the ice felt against your fingertips that you didn’t notice his hand slowly coming up to caress your lower back, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt before yanking it down over your ass.

“Your shorts were riding up,” he hissed. Then, taking note of the cold treat in your hand, he nodded. “Go ahead and eat it.” He leaned back against his car, eyeing you closely.

You on the other hand, were taken aback. From the snide comment, to the implied lewdness, every word that dripped off of his tongue sizzled you to your core like acid. You slowly turned back in the passenger seat. Sinking down, you examined the popsicle in your hands. You peeled off the wrapper, digits fiddling with the shiny plastic. Sticky sweet juice dripped down in between your fingers as you brought the bright red tip to your lips.

The man before you crossed his arms and grinned a wicked, toothy grin. Arousal flowed through his veins and tented his trousers. “Good girl,�� he whispered, sweat clinging dark brown hairs to his forehead as he leaned forward into the car window.

You squeaked and continued to eat the cherry flavored treat, pushing it past your lips ever so slightly and dripping more of it onto your chest, thighs, knees, crotch. In a swift movement, William placed his hand on yours, pushing the popsicle further in. He opened his mouth slightly, “Ah,” your cue. You parted your lips more, letting the juice coat your tongue and slightly gagging on the ice as it hit the back of your throat. William watched the juice drip down your body, using his hand to ever so slightly brush your breast, earning a muffled gasp from you.

He palmed your chest gently, running his fingers along the soft fabric of your shirt. Just then, a particularly large droplet of cherry popsicle made a see-through spot on your nipple, exposing the sensitive bud to cold air… And William’s longing gaze. Enamored by his newfound access to your body, he paused. He traced a calloused finger over your raised areola, bringing his thumb to the other size and giving a rough squeeze.

“Ah, Mr. Afton-” you began, removing the popsicle from your mouth. “Ah ah doll, back in. You want to be good don’t you?” He shoved it back towards your throat, dragging another cherry scented gargle from your red gullet. “Mmm.” His voice reverberated through your core, adding to the heat in between your legs. You ached at this point, you craved some sort of touch, anything to clench around. Luckily your prayers didn’t go unanswered, as the hand that had been softly fondling you trailed down to the hem of your pants. Suddenly, his movements became faster. Your submissive state captivated him, he wanted more. He had to have you. To taste you.

He removed the popsicle from your mouth, drawing it out with a gentle slurp as you chased the sugary cold bar. He tossed it over his back. Quickly unbuttoning your pants, he slipped his hand down into your panties, swiping his fingers along your wet pussy. You bit your lip, instinctively bringing your thighs together.

“Mr. Afton, W- William-” You were met with a harsh slap to your cheek..

“Did I say you could call me that, doll?” The fingers in your panties plunged into your walls, while the one that struck your face contorted your mouth into fish lips. You were stunned to say the least, not expecting anything to escalate this quickly… Not that you were against it.

Apparently, your radio silence was not an acceptable answer. He slapped your cheek again, before grabbing your face once more. Harder.

“Answer, whore.” He spat through his teeth. His eyes shined wider than you’d ever seen them, burning with pure hate and lust.

“N-no sir-.” As you spoke, WIlliam shook your head for you, and curled his fingers inside of you ever so slightly. “Ha- hah- No M-Mr. Afton,” You began to squirm, using your hips to plead him to go faster.

“That’s right, good girl.” As if he read your mind, his fingers picked up the pace. Curling and squelching inside of you. Exploring you. Stretching you out. You squirmed more. Without warning, you were being choked. Not enough to do real damage, just enough to remind you of your place. Your cheeks burned, but you couldn’t tell if it was from the heat or the sores left behind from William’s harsh hold. The handsome devil slammed his lips onto yours, finger fucking you relentlessly. You moaned and tried to scream, but his harsh grip on your neck made it impossible. Forcing his tongue into your mouth, he immediately gained control. You had no fight in you, all of your senses were honed in on chasing your throbbing release. Speaking of which, was very close. William seemed to have no intention of slowing down or stopping, even as he felt you clench around him. He was determined to make your squirt for him. Ruin His leather seats. Cum on His fingers.

You started to see stars as your brain was starved for air. With every minimal exhale, you panicked. Your natural instincts are desperate to kick in. With every inhale through your nose, you melted. Sex and cologne and sweat and leather filled your senses, training you to get off more to the smell, clouding your entire being. You grabbed at William’s arm and whined as loud as you could while he thrusted his long, snake-like tongue at your throat. You came into his hand, orgasm shaking you to your entire core, on the brink of losing it all.

He pulled away from your mouth and released his grip on your neck, slowly grinding his fingers in you to help you ride out your high. He pressed his sweaty forehead to yours, smiling to himself when he caught sight of the mess you made, all for him.

You stayed there like that, catching your breath as William stroked your hair and peppered kisses along your cheeks where a red hand-mark had begun to form. He withdrew his fingers from your spent cunt, examining them with those calculating eyes. His expression suddenly melted, and he licked each one of his fingers individually, suckling and not wanting to waste even a little bit of your delicious juice.

You settled into your bed that night, after masturbating until the shower ran cold. As you pulled the soft sheets up to your chin, you wondered if William was touching himself to the thought of you as well.

Unbeknownst to you, William had pumped his cock raw that night when he got home, strings of thick seed webbing over the aera you had soaked earlier that day. “Y/N, f-fuck doll…” He cursed and came over and over again, well into twilight. Then, falling to his knees, he licked the seat clear of your mixed juices, imagining the next time he would be able to have you.

[dyinglikenarcissus]

Day 1:

Oh Sheriff - Part II

Lee Bodecker x black!female reader

Warnings: 18+ only!!! Contains: smut, racism, reverse racism (?), disapproving parents, wedding, pregnancy, toddler, office sex, semi public sex, daddy kink, I hope that’s it

Please don’t copy or repost my work, thanks! Plagiarism is rude

Comments, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated ☺️

Master List

9k words

“Here you go. ‘Dinosaurs and mammals of the Jurassic Period’,” you recite as you hand the book to the little girl eager to learn more about the newest school subject. You can’t help but smile as she rushes off to a table by the window.

“Ma’am, I’m afraid I’ve lost my book,” a familiar voice drawls from behind you.

“Well, sheriff, the penalty is a $2 fine,” you smile, tucking away a couple books from the go back rack. You know good and well he hasn’t checked out a book since he was a boy.

“Is there any other way to pay that back?” Lee asks wrapping his strong arms around your waist from behind. You giggle as his nose brushes against your ear only for him to whisper, “Maybe I can eat you out for a couple of hours. Would that make me even?”

“Lee,” you hiss unable to keep the smile off your face while you try to be upset with him. He’s in his full uniform, taking a break from running calls to harass his favorite librarian.

“Three hours?” He smirks before pulling your skirt up just a fraction of an inch. It was quiet in library. A majority of the kids had gone home. The girl you just found the book for was there with her mother while she used the newspapers to go through the wanted ads. And a group of teenagers were still upstairs studying but that was all.

Leaving you and your sheriff relatively alone among the book laden shelves.

His hand roams up your blouse to cup your breast, pinching the nipple to an erect point through your clothes before gathering a little more of your skirt.

“Four hours and that’s my final offer,” Lee whispers as you suppress a moan. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he chuckles and his hand has finally cleared your skirt so a roaming finger can trace your slit. “Missed you today, caramel.” He presses a kiss to your temple then just behind your ear then your jaw, all the spots that make you squirm in his grip.

“You miss me everyday, Lee,” you breathe trying to keep your voice down.

He hums in you ear sending vibrations through your entire body. “Today in particular.” His fingers curl around your underwear and feel the slick gathering in your folds. “Johnson’s planing on proposing to his girl and they’ve been together for a shorter time than us,” he laments as he flicks your clit.

“Wh-what’s stopping you from asking me then?”you ask as Lee presses into your core and curls his fingers into that spot leaving you limp in his arms. He clamps the hand that was fondling your breast around your mouth just in time to catch your moan. “Gotta meet the man you called ‘daddy’ before you met me.” He continues to finger you relentlessly while blocking your moans. He tucks a second finger into you and you feel like you’re about to explode. “Can you set up a meeting for us? Dinner are my place, maybe? God, you know I love to see you looking domestic in my kitchen.” He removes his hand long enough for you to moan out ‘yes, Lee’ a little too loudly. “That feels so good you can’t even contain yourself,” he smiles as you pant against his hand trying to catch your breath but he’s doing things to you that make you feel like you might break. Oh god you’re close! Every limb feels sensitive as you grip Lee’s forearm that’s clamped over your mouth. Your hips thrust against his hand chasing your high begging him in your mind to get you there and soon. “Fuck, you’re squeezing me, caramel,” Lee hisses just for him to reach his thumb out and rub another circle into your sensitive bud. You let out a muffled cry as your core finally bursts.

You collapses against the man behind you and he catches you against his chest. “Good girl. So good for me,” he praises while kissing your temple. He pulls his fingers from you and presses them to your now uncovered lips. You suck them off, tasting yourself with a soft groan of satisfaction. He finally spins you in his grasp to kiss you fiercely while you recover from your high. “You’ll call your folks? Tonight?”

You nod numbly, curling into his chest for comfort.

“You want me to come over tonight?” You nod again. “My fingers weren’t enough for you?” You smile.

“They were plenty but I want you.” You hum and press another kiss to his lips.

“I gotta get back to work.” You shake your head ‘no’ making him smile. “You’re gonna make such a pretty little wife. Can’t wait to come home to you every night.” You giggle and kiss him one last time.

“Love you,” you whisper.

“Love you more,” Lee mutters against your lips before pulling away. “Walk me out?” You nod and take his hand. It all became easier once you stopped worrying about how the general population looked upon your relationship. Johnathan’s girl, Nichelle, moved into an apartment in the city center bringing the colored population up to a rousing two. And now it seemed like she was going to be here to stay. You knew she’d say yes. Those two were so cute together. He’d bring her to the station and let her work the radio or take her out in his cruiser when he was on patrol.

You looked to the new couple for validation. Johnathan was just a regular street deputy so he didn’t have to worry about the town’s idea of his relationship. You wished it was that easy.

Must be nice to not have the local population in all of your business.

And you still hadn’t told your family.

They knew you were with someone and it was pretty serious but they didn’t know he was much older than you, or that he was the sheriff, or that he’d been divorced.

And they definitely didn’t know he was white.

You don’t know what they’ll think! It’s never been an issue. You grandma married a man fifteen years her senior and they were happy for years until he passed away. Your cousin was a police officer in Chicago. Your aunt and uncle got divorced but still raised their kids together.

But no one had ever brought home a white person…

You groan internally and try to envision how this conversation will go. ‘I want you to meet my boyfriend. He’s the sheriff and only a couple of years younger than dad. Also he’s white.’

Ugh! You don’t have the energy for this! You find a coloring book of dinosaurs and photocopy a few pages for the little girl currently making roaring noises to her stuffed bear and hand them to her with a box of crayons.

“Oh, thank you!” She cries getting her mom’s attention.

“You’re a life saver,” the woman sighs watching her daughter for a moment. “You know, the sheriff never had kids with his old wife.”

“Yeah?” You whisper knowing full well that she wouldn’t put out enough to make a baby in the first place.

“Her class is always so excited for library day. You do wonders with these kids. You’ll make a good mom.”

“Thank you,” you smile.

“And you seem to make him pretty happy. I’ve never seen a man so eager get his girl off with nothing in return.” Your face heats. Oh lord, she saw? She heard? “Don’t worry. It’s our secret.”

“Thank you,” you repeat. “I’ll let you get back to it,” you smile and retreat to the comfort of your desk.

And the prospect of a looming conversation.

You return home to find Lee parked in your driveway, still in uniform, waiting for you with a paper bag on his trunk.

“I brought dinner,” he mumbles around his cigarette.

“You didn’t have to,” you smile and press a kiss to his lips.

“Yeah, well, I wanted to talk.”

“So talk,” you sigh unlocking the front door to be greeted by your cat. You bend down to pick him up while slipping off your shoes and Lee follows suit.

“I feel like I’m putting a lot on you. To tell your parents. To get married. I haven’t really asked how you feel.”

The statement takes you by surprise as he makes his way to the kitchen.

“Do you think I want something else? Someone else?” You ask placing the cat at your feet to follow your boyfriend.

“Well, shit. It’s not all that….maybe it is all that. I just want to be sure you want this. You want me.”

“Lee,” you smile up at him, wrapping your arms around his waist comfortably. “I want you. You’re the first man I’ve ever wanted. I’m just a little scared to tell my folks about you.”

“You embarrassed?”

“What do I have to be embarrassed about?” You giggle. “You’re perfect. The perfect gentleman and, god, you can destroy me anytime you want,” you moan making him chuckle. “I’m not embarrassed. Just…worried.”

“I want to be here for you,” Lee sighs, his hands tracing your hips. “No matter what happens, I love you. I’m here for you.” You nod and immediately go to your phone on the wall. Lee wraps his arms around your waist while it rings in your ear. You take a settling breath while he curls himself over you. “My good girl,” he whispers just as the ringing stops.

“Hello?”

“Ma!” You smile recognizing the voice.

“Hi, sweetheart! How’s it going out there?”

“I’m fine but, um, I wanted to ask you guys to come visit. Is pa there?”

“Yeah. Pa! Your baby girl is on the phone! He’s coming. Is this about that boy you’re seeing?”

You worry your bottom lip. “Yeah, kinda,” you trail.

“Hey, baby girl,” your dad greets taking the phone from your mom.

“Hey, pa, um, so I was wondering if you and ma would make a trip up here when you have some time.”

“Of course, of course. Is there a problem?”

“No, I just want you to meet someone.”

“It’s that boy she’s talking to,” you hear your mom in the background.

“You want us to meet your little boyfriend?” You look up at the ‘little boyfriend’ in question and smile.

“Yeah,” you whisper. “I want you to meet him. We were talking and he said he’ll host dinner at his place.”

“Well ain’t that sweet? Our little girl is finally settling down,” your dad notes making your face heat. “How’s this weekend?”

You glance back up at Lee and he nods an affirmative. “This weekend’s perfect,” you smile. “The boys coming too?”

“Maybe James but I don’t know about those other two,” your mom says taking over the conversation.

“I just want to know how much to cook for.”

“We’ll get back to you before Friday,” your mom assures you.

“Alright. Thank you. I love you all.”

“We love you, too, baby,” you mom replies.

“We love you, sweetheart,” you dad calls. You say your goodbyes and hang up the phone.

“Was that so hard?” Lee purrs pulling you a little closer. You level a look at him knowing the hard part had yet to come. “Oh don’t give me that face,” he smirks and pulls you into a kiss. “We’re gonna eat then we’re going to fuck and I’m going to take your mind completely off of this.” You lift a skeptical brow at him. “You know I’m good for it.” It was true. He was good at fucking your troubles away.

“I should’ve just told them over the phone,” you muse.

“Call ‘em back then,” Lee sighs and walks over to the table knowing you won’t do it and earning a glare from you. He holds out his hand for you and you instantly go to him. “You won’t do it because you know everything will be fine. Now sit down so we can eat then I can have my dessert.” You suppress a smile before taking the spot across from him.

He stays true to his word and you forget all about it. Until Saturday morning. Until your nerves made you throw up your breakfast. Until you show up at his house with a bag of groceries.

“Caramel, you look like you’re about to have a conniption,” Lee greets taking the bag from you.

“I think I am,” you sigh, stepping out of your heels. “Lee, I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Too late. Your parents have probably already packed up the car. Can’t call it off now.” You groan and drop your face into his chest. He was right. Plus you wanted to be his wife. You wanted to be his.

He’s traditional. He wants to respect you and your family. He wants to do this right.

“Come on. I’m going to finish getting the house cleaned up then I’ll come help you.” You nod and make yourself comfortable in the kitchen. It’s easy. Over the couple of months you’ve spent dating, you’d made several meals in this kitchen. Brought over your own supplies and seasonings. It didn’t get much use since Lee’s ex left so it’s yours to do with how you wished. You sigh as you can’t help but think you’d soon start making every meal in this kitchen. You imagine your kitten chasing his toys across the tile while a baby bangs on a pot at your feet.

All you had to do was introduce him to your family first.

You tuck a chicken into the oven just as Lee steps into your borrowed domain.

“How’s it going in here?” He questions wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and nuzzling his face in your neck.

You giggle at his stubble tickling your skin. “Just about to start dessert.”

“Mmmm I know all about that one,” Lee hums into your skin before kissing your neck.

“Do you?” You smile.

“Don’t ask me shit about making a roast or a casserole, but dessert is my specialty. And I’ve got the best ingredient right here.”

“Lee,” you giggle knowing exactly what he’s up to. “I have to finish this.”

“Just a taste, caramel? To hold me over til dinner?” His hands roam up your skirt and press your panties down your hips. You let out a soft whimper as his kisses along your neck get rougher.

“Lee,” you whine. “Help me with this and I’ll be done faster,” you insist.

“Fine,” he groans. “But I’m keeping these.” He bends down to take your panties from around your ankles and twirls them around his finger.

“You’re terrible,” you giggle.

“Your panties say otherwise,” he smirks showing off the trail of slick you left in the crotch of your underwear before tucking them in his pocket. You feel your face heat and you instead focus on your cake. Lee helps measure and stir and soon it’s in the oven next to your chicken.

The second you stand up from placing the pan in the oven, Lee lifts you into his arms sending you into a fit of laughter. “We have some unfinished business to attend to,” he smiles spanking you and placing you on the kitchen counter.

His lips trace the column of your throat. “You brought an extra dress, didn’t you?”

“Yes, sheriff,” you sigh when he grips your thighs.

“Good. This one’s gonna get wrinkled.” He pushes you back across the counter, lifting your legs to have better access to your dripping pussy. His tongue wiggles it’s way between your folds leaving you gasping. You fall back on your elbows and let him eat his fill. He’s so good with that tongue.

The noises he causes you to make should be criminal but he was the law around here. He would know. You bite your lip to stifle a heavy moan but you feel the bite of his hand into your thigh that makes you gasp. “Told you I wanna hear all of it,” Lee grunts into your mound.

“Y-yes, sheriff,” you whimper.

“Good girl.” He presses kisses from your mound to your belly, letting his fingers take his tongue’s place. “So good for me. You wanna let me in, sweet girl?”

You nod widening your legs a little more to allow for his girth. “Want you screaming for me first,” Lee sighs and unbuttons the front of your dress with one hand, exposing your cleavage. You’re too distracted by his wondering hand to notice what he’s doing inside you.

“Eeeh! Lee!” You cry as her works the pads of his fingers against that spot.

“That’s it,” he smirks before pressing a kiss between your breasts. You whimper a string of pleas as he works your insides. He knows your body so well. He found spots in you that you didn’t even know existed and here he was playing you like his favorite instrument.

“MmmmmgnhLee! Lee-ahh! I’m gonna! I’m!” You feel the dam inside you break as you let loose a high pitched scream. “I-I-ahhh!” You pant as he continues to stimulate you through your orgasm. “P-please! Pleaeeee!” You feel something shoot from you that your can’t control.

“I knew you had it in you, caramel,” Lee chuckles and finally removes his fingers slowly but you still feel raw.

“Wha-what did you do?” You gasp pressing yourself up to see your boyfriend.

He shows you his soaked hand before licking a strip from the base of his index and middle finger to their tips. “Made you squirt, my little caramel delight.”

“That came from me?” You cry in embarrassment.

“Sure did. And it’s fucking delicious.” Your face heats as you attempt to shy away but Lee captures your lips in a kiss, undoing his belt buckle and sliding his pants down in a matter of seconds. His penis slips into you so easily that you whine against his lips but he just shushes you.

“Fuck, you feel so good. Gonna fill you up with me, sweet girl. Can’t wait until you’re big and round with my baby.”

“Lee,” you whine at his filthy words. He normally wears condoms but they’ve become so optional lately. Not by choice but you two keep getting caught up in the moment. But once or twice won’t hurt, right?

At least that’s what you told yourself.

“Tell me you don’t want me to knock you up and I’ll stop right now,” he grunts into the bend of your neck.

But you can’t deny him. “Fuck, I want your baby!” You scream.

“That’s what I thought. Gripping the shit out of me. Your body definitely wants my baby!” You whimper at his words and cling to his shoulders desperately on the verge of another orgasm.

“Please, Lee! Please, please, please! Give it to me! Claim me!”

“Whatever you want, caramel,” Lee groans as his thrusts become faster and more erratic. You let loose another high pitched scream as you come around him just in time for his seed to pump into your core. “Fuck,” Lee moans and presses a kiss to your forehead. “You okay?” You nod letting out a shaky exhale. “Want me to pull out?” You shake your head adamantly tugging him closer to you. Lee only lets out a soft laugh and pulls you into his arms. “Let’s go lay down for a minute.” You nod again and let him carry you to the couch.

You jump awake from Lee’s embrace at the sound of buzzing from the kitchen. He still slept soundly under you. He looks so comfortable. You just want to curl back into him but you knew the buzzing would soon wake him up, too. You go to the kitchen to remove your items from the oven and finish up the rest of your meal. You finish mashing potatoes and make sure they’re well seasoned and buttered before waking up your man.

“Lee, honey?” You call over the couch before you go to make room to sit on it’s edge. “Lee?” He lets out a sputtered snore before stretching. “Hey,” you smile, “It’s time to wake up.”

“Anything you want, sweetness,” he yawns. You could just kiss him.

“We need to go change,” you rationalize instead, taking in the state of both your clothes.

“Alright,” he groans. You take his hand and lead him upstairs to his room then attempt to keep your hands to yourself as you change into a new pair of underwear and dress.

“I got you something I was hoping you’d wear tonight,” Lee announces as you attempt to zip yourself up. He stops you and pulls the zipper up your back before draping something around your neck. You touch what feels like jewelry before he releases you to look at it in the mirror. A stunning silver tennis necklace rest around your collar and you almost cry.

“Oh, Lee! It’s beautiful!” You finger the piece for a second before rushing him into a hug. “I love it! You didn’t have to,” you whisper.

“Just something to show your folks I’m serious about you.” And like clockwork you hear a car pull up to the house outside. You stiffen in his arms and he pats your head in return. “Don’t clam up on me now. Moment of truth.” He peeks out the window to see your brother’s Ford. “Looks like your bothers came,” he trails as you rush to make sure your hair and makeup don’t look like all the events of this morning transpired.

“I’d say they’ll try to give you the third degree but I doubt they’ll get passed the front door without cracking.”

“You look beautiful,” Lee insists tugging you to the door. “Come on.”

You follow him downstairs and he opens the door before there’s even a knock to reveal your two brothers.

They look absolutely shocked staring at Lee. A minute of silence passes between the three of them and you can’t help but stand by and watch it play out. “I’m sorry, sir. We’re trying to meet our sister. You wouldn’t happen to know where 1750 Meadowland Ln is?”

Lee smirks in amusement. “You’ve got the right place. This the sister you’re looking for?” He steps aside revealing you and they instantly light up but you can see the gears working in their heads as soon as they register what’s going on.

“He’s white?” John barks at you.

“Told you,” you smirk at Lee. “James. John. This is Lee,” you introduce the men stiffly.

Lee holds out a hand. “Nice to finally meet you. Your sister talks mighty highly of you two.”

“We’ve heard quite a bit about you, too, sir. Not enough, obviously,” James says pointedly at you, always the more mature one of the two, while shaking Lee’s hand.

“Ma and pa are gonna kill you,” John snickers.

You swat his arm and usher them inside. “Take off your shoes. Lee just vacuumed. Where are they anyway? I told them not to bring anything.”

“You know your parents,” John sighs bending down to undo his shoes. “Ma brought biscuits and gravy and pa’s giving your car a check up.”

Lee just laughs and slips on some loafers before tugging you outside.

“Pa, what are you doing?” You laugh seeing your dad waist deep in your car’s hood.

“You getting an oil change every three months like I told you?”

“Changed it myself two weeks ago,” Lee pipes up. Your mother notices him first and almost drops the casserole dish she’s holding as she stares at the man who’s hands are gripping your shoulders.

“This engine block looks spotless,” comes your father’s muffled reply.

“Pa,” you mother pats his back trying to get his attention. She repeats herself. “You should really get out of that car and say ‘hi’ to your daughter.” You father finally dislodges himself for the vehicle, “What could possibly be so important-“ His gaze meets yours, then Lee’s then back to you. A forced smile covers his features before stepping up to the two of you. “You must be Lee. Nice to meet you, son.”

“The pleasure is all mine.”

You escape Lee’s grip to take the dish from your mother. “A little warning would’ve been nice,” she mutters to you before pressing a kiss to your cheek. You cringe at the statement but take the dish anyway.

She rushes over to greet Lee with a hug. “I’m so excited to finally meet you! It’s nice to put a face to a name.”

Lee tucks her arm in his and leads her to the house leaving you to walk with your father. He gives you an odd look, one that tells you you’re going to have a serious talk later but you just smile up at him. “I’m so happy you’re here. I missed y’all.”

“Missed you, too, sweetpea.” He presses a kiss to your temple.

“How hard did you have to fight to get Johnny here?”

Your dad snorts out a laugh. “John was more curious than anything. Jacob wanted to be here but he’s got a new round of recruits to destroy.” You smirk at your brother’s abuse of authority after his promotion in the army. He spent his whole life as your eldest brother ordering the three of you around and found his perfect fit as a staff sergeant. You doubt he’ll bother to promote.

“Oh, Lee, your home is beautiful,” your mother smiles looking around.

“Why, thank you, ma’am. Let me give you a tour.”

“Call me Jess,” your mom insists calling your father to follow them to the yard. “A pool?” You hear her exclaim making you smile. Your brothers on the other hand follow you to the kitchen.

“I knew this neighborhood was too white,” James grins inspecting your chicken leaving you to slap his hand away after you place your mother’s dish in the oven to reheat it.

“All the neighborhoods are white in Meade,” you sigh handing them each a stack of plates and silverware and showing them to the dinning room.

“But this one is…,” John trails looking out the window to see the neighbors across the street peaking out their window.

“We aren’t in Tennessee. Let’s just say that,” James sighs.

“Well, you’re safe here,” you smile.

“Why? What’s he do?”

“He’s the sheriff.”

“He’s a cop, too?” James gasps. “There’s no way his boss is gonna let you marry him.”

“He’s not a cop,” you correct. “He’s the sheriff.”

“How the fuck did you get in bed with the sheriff?” John hisses.

“Well, being the only black person in Knockemstiff, I got the cops called on me quite a bit. That’s how we met.”

“That’s insane,” John breathes. “He got some kind of thing for black girls?”

“No,” you giggle. “He’s sweet, if not a little rough around the edges.”

James glares at you for a moment. “You got some kind of thing for white men?”

Your face heats at the accusation. “No,” you laugh, brushing him off.

“Mmmhmm,” James gives you a drawn out hum.

“You know our sister. She’s always wanted a white knight,” John smirks. “She reads too many fantasy books.”

“For all we know, his grandpa could’ve owned our grandpa.” You frown at James’ words but just focus on the table, straightening the silverware your brothers put down.

“What’s got y’all so quiet in here?” Lee asks, wrapping his arms around your waist as the three older people enter the dinning room.

“Nothing,” you squeak. “Y’all hungry?” Lee hums an affirmative in your ear before pressing a kiss to your neck. “Ma, can you help me with the chicken?”

“Of course, sweetpea.” Your mom follows you to the kitchen. “Lee seems nice,” she reveals once you’re alone. She slices up your chicken with the precision of a professional while you place everything in a matching set of bowls you found in the back of Lee’s cupboards.

“He is nice,” you agree.

“Bit old.” You shrug at the comment that you’ve heard a million times. “He’s been married before?” You nod. “What happened to his last wife?”

“Unreconcilable differences. On her part.”

“Your pa isn’t happy about this one bit,” she informs you.

Your already fried nerves sizzle just a little more at the information. “Please talk to him,” you whisper.

“What makes you think I’ll do that?” Your mother scoffs incredulously.

“I love him.”

“Love does not excuse hundreds of years of history,” she frowns. “He seems to love you, too. It’s all so bizarre, you have to understand that, sweetheart. A white man and a black woman just doesn’t make sense. Now, you are a smart, beautiful girl, you can find someone within your own class.”

You hold back tears at her words, your nose runs, betraying you, forcing you to sniffle to keep yourself in check.

“Do you need a moment to compose yourself?” You nod and your mother leaves the room with the chicken.

Your eyes narrow at her retreating form.

Why was she doing this to you? You thought she’d want you to be happy. You thought all of them wanted you to be happy.

You watch Lee laugh at something James said and greet your mother like she’s carrying a bag of gold. He bites his bottom lip while she serves him a thigh and his gaze lands on you waiting in the door way. He gives you your own private grin making you return it weakly.

Well, that’s it then. You were hoping to share the information for a better occasion but this would have to suffice.

You serve your father first then Lee. “Thank you, caramel apple.” You bend down and place a kiss on his lips.

“Enjoy, handsome,” you mutter against his lips, trying to keep the sadness from tinging your voice.

“Well, you two certainly seem happy,” James smirks.

“We are happy,” you smile and take your spot to Lee’s right.

Lee bends toward you seeing your melancholy face. “What’s going on?” You just shake your head. He lets out a sigh and your father starts saying grace ending any further conversation. The meal is pleasant. The conversation is cordial. There were a lot of questions about Lee’s job, what he does exactly as sheriff.

“I’m basically a glorified complaint box,” Lee jokes. “I don’t have the authority to change much around here but I’m required to respond to them.” You smile up at him. “Ain’t much that goes on in this county. My sister’s death was the biggest scandal we’ve ever had.”

“Oh my! I’m sorry to hear that,” you mother imparts.

“No, she got wrapped up with this piece of shit. Tried to help her but she didn’t want any of that.”

“What happened?” James whispers earning a whack in the arm from John.

“You don’t have to tell us. I’m sorry for my insensitive brother.”

“It’s fine. I don’t even think I told your sister the whole story. She was, uh, picking up hitchhikers with her husband and killing ‘em and, well, doing unmentionable acts with their corpses.” You gasp and cover your mouth with your hand in shock. Why hadn’t he told you this?

“They picked up the wrong one,” Lee continues. “This boy’s a local, actually. He shot ‘em both dead. It was a fucking shit show. Everyday they were pulling bodies out of the river for a month. There are still some unaccounted for. I thought for sure I’d get kicked out of office. But I just handled it by the book. We were hardly close by the time she died so I was able to keep my feelings out of it. Still hard to lose the only family you have left.” You grip his hand, all those tears you had held back for you, fell for him. You press a kiss to his palm before whispering an ‘I love you’. A chorus of ‘sorry’s rolls around the table.

“The folks around here are odd. They do weird shit because they’re in a small town without much oversight. That’s why I kept such a close eye on your daughter. I couldn’t bare for anything to happen to her.”

“We appreciate you for that, Lee,” you father intones. He doesn’t say anything about the boy who lived here before. It does make you wonder if there’s more to that story now that you know a little bit more about this town.

You sniffle softly but attempt to stifle it to keep from drawing attention but of course Lee notices.

“Hey, come here.” He pulls you away from the table.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper to your family before following your boyfriend.

Lee leans against the kitchen counter, crossing his arms over his broad chest and levels his gaze at you.

“What’s going on?” You shake your head softly, dropping your gaze to your feet as a tear escapes your control. Lee sighs and pinches your chin so you’ll focus on him, making more tears fall from your eyes. “Oh, caramel. You can’t tell me nothing’s wrong. You’re fucking crying.”

You can’t help but smile softly before failing into his embrace. “I love you.”

“I love you more. Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

You start to shake your head again but think better of it. “They don’t like this. My ma says I should break up with you. My pa isn’t happy. My brothers are skeptical. I just-I don’t know what to do.”

Lee lets out a thoughtful hum while he squeezes you a little tighter. “You know what to do. You know exactly what you want. You just don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

He’s right. You sniffle once more and Lee pulls out a handkerchief for you to wipe your nose.

“Is there anything else you want to tell me?” You shake your head. At least not right now. You take a couple of breaths to compose yourself and take him back to the dinning room with your caramel cake.

You both sit back down with four sets of eyes on you while you slice up equal pieces.

“Ma. Pa,” you start as you hand out the slices. “I know you aren’t happy with my choice in partners but I am. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been with Lee. He makes me laugh and keeps me safe and comfortable. I don’t plan on leaving him because you don’t approve.” You set a slice of cake in front of Lee and meet his gaze. “Especially since I’m carrying his baby.”

Hell breaks loose around you as your mother bursts into tears and your father begins shouting. John starts laughing and James is in a stunned silence.

But you don’t care about any of it. All of your attention is captured by those glacier blue eyes you fell in love with.

“Caramel apple sugar plum. You better not be lying to me,” Lee warns with a small frown. You knew this would happen so you tug out the doctor’s form from your dress pocket confirming your positive pregnancy test and the estimations for how far along you were. “Six to eight weeks?” He mutters. You nod with a smile. “Good god, you’re having my baby!” You nod again giggling as he pulls you into his arms. “I love you! I love you! I love you!” He repeats while placing kisses across your face.

“I love you. So much,” you whisper between kisses.

You’re perched on the kitchen counter as Lee washes dishes. Your family left for your house hours ago. They didn’t even stay for coffee.

You accept a bowl to dry and let out a soft sigh.

“I guess we haven’t been very careful,” Lee smirks while scrubbing your mother’s casserole dish. You only smile and remember the many times he came in you without protection with the thought that ‘it’s only once. Once won’t get you pregnant’. Until once became once a week.

You stack the dishes on the drying towel next to you and wait for the next one. “I guess we should get married before you start showing.”

“Suddenly worried about appearances?” You joke.

“No bride wants to be pregnant on her wedding day,” he rationalizes. You just hum in response. “Dinner was amazing, by the way. I’m sorry your family couldn’t enjoy it.”

You let out another sigh. “They’ll come around. This will be their first grand baby after all.”

Lee passes you the last utensil and dries his hands while looking out the window above the sink. “The stars look awful pretty tonight. Let’s go look at ‘em.”

“Oh, Lee. I just want to take a shower and go to bed,” you whine.

“Come on, caramel. Just a couple of minutes.” His pale blue eyes plead up at you. You can never say no to him. You place your hands on his shoulders to lift you from the counter and you follow him outside.

The stars do look pretty. You sigh and stand at the edge of the pool watching the moon reflect on the dark water’s surface.

“You happy here, caramel?”

“You know I love this pool,” you smile before looking up at the sky.

“I mean are you happy here, with me?”

You spin to face the man before griping both of his hands. “Oh Lee, of course I’m happy with you. I feel safe and at home with you. I defied my family for you. I love you.”

“I’ve never been as happy as I’ve been with you. I was hoping to do this with your folks here but they don’t seem too pleased with me.” He lets out a soft grunt as he takes a knee in front of you. Yours eyes widen at the action. Men only get on on one knee for one thing…

“Will you do me the honor of keeping me the happiest man on earth by becoming my wife?” He pulls out a small box and tucked inside is a beautiful silver ring.

“Oh my God.” Tears pool in your eyes as you clasp your free hand over your mouth to keep your bottom lip from quivering. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious,” Lee laughs. “Now will you marry me or did I get on the ground from nothing?”

“Yes!” You cry and fall into his arms. “Yes, Lee! A hundred times yes!” Lee lifts you to spin you almost falling into the pool and sending you both into a fit of giggles.

“Give me that hand, caramel,” Lee mutters after setting you down on your feet. He slips the ring on your finger before kissing the back of your hand. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” you grin.

“No, I love you more. End of conversation,” he laughs. “Bed?” You nod and follow him back in the house.

You should go home, make sure your parents and brothers are settled in alright. But they know where everything is. And you don’t want to leave Lee’s side. You’ll check on them in the morning. Right now, you just want to curl up with your future husband and think of baby names until you fall asleep rubbing each other’s tummies.

“How’d you hide the morning sickness?” Lee asks suddenly after you tuck your hands under his night shirt reveling in his warmth.

You hum softly in thought. “It hasn’t been too bad actually,” you sigh. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had to keep it from you for much longer though. The detergent you use on your uniforms kinda sets it off,” you admit.

“Are you serious? I was all over you last week,” he chuckles.

“And I was so brave,” you giggle. “I think I spent about five minutes dry heaving.”

He spanks you softly. “That’s for keeping secrets.”

“It was a surprise,” you insist taking his hand and putting it back on your stomach. It’s a comforting weight. “What do you want?”

“I don’t care. As long as it’s healthy,” Lee sighs. He reaches under the hem of your borrowed night shirt and places his palm on your bare skin, rubbing small circles around your belly button.

“I want a boy,” you smile shyly.

“Hm? Why’s that?”

“I don’t know. Probably because I have so many brothers. I want to raise him to be just like you.”

“He’ll be better than me,” Lee sighs and presses his forehead to yours. “Thank you, caramel.”

“For what?” You whisper cupping his face in your hands.

“For giving me the one thing I’ve always wanted.”

You smile and press a kiss to his lips. “I love you,” you breathe.

“I love you more.”

You were married two weeks later.

It was a bitch to get a license. Even though laws against interracial marriage were deemed unconstitutional, backwards Meade, Ohio had other ideas. You had to get a license all the way to the nation’s capital so you decided to make a pre wedding honeymoon out of it. Well, you’d be married on paper but it doesn’t really count unless it happens in a church. But you enjoyed the time away. You and Lee spent a week practicing calling each other ‘husband and wife’ while touring the hot spots of the east coast. You spent a couple of nights in D.C. then saw the inner harbor in Maryland, you got photos in front of the liberty bell in Philadelphia and ended your tour with two nights in New York City before heading back home for the actual wedding.

It was a small ceremony at your church. All your friends were there and a few of the deputies but your parents refused to join you. Your brothers came though. Jacob gave you away all dressed up in his class As. Eunice made you a two tier white cake and it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.

And your friends weren’t surprised in the least you discretely told them you were expecting.

“I knew y’all were rushing for a reason,” Cora tutted as they fixed your dress for photos.

“How far along are you?” May whispered with wide eyes, glancing between your face and your stomach.

“About two months now,” you grin excitedly.

“I hope it’s a boy. I want Marcus to have a little playmate,” May continues talking about her own little one.

“Me too!” The four of you giggle.

“You got married just in time. You’ll start showing soon enough,” Eunice sighs. “You’d never find a dress with a belly.”

“No! We got so lucky! They had just your size on the rack,” Cora smiles. “Alright. You look gorgeous. Time to commemorate it for all time.” You grin and hug them before taking your place next to Lee.

His lips quirk into a smile seeing you. “There’s the misses,” he drawls making you smile. Mrs. Bodecker. You still had to practice your new signature but you already had your new name down packed.

Later that evening after all the festivities ended and the sun went down and you drove back to your new to you home, Lee carried you over the threshold of his house to the amusement of your kitten. He batted at your veil and train while Lee carried you upstairs.

You moved all your things in a week ago. You were already pregnant, there’s no point in prolonging the process any further.

“Shoo, pipsqueak. I got business with your momma,” Lee chuckles avoiding the small cat. You smile at their antics and press a kiss to Lee’s cheek.

“I love you,” you whisper. “I’m all yours now. Officially. And before the eyes of God,” you laugh thinking of your official wedding date that was almost two weeks ago now.

“All mine. In every way,” Lee grins and lays you across the bed. “You looked real pretty today but I know you look even prettier without all that white on.” You laugh and sit up so he can help you unbutton your dress. “Much better,” he sighs once there’s a pile of white lace and satin at the end of his bed and you’re left in just a white set of underwear you got for the occasion. “But there’s still a little of white, caramel. I want it all off.” You bite your bottom lip and reach behind you to remove your bra. You hold it out to drop it on the floor. “Getting warmer.” You finally tuck your thumbs into the sides of your garter belt and panties and shimmy them down your hips. “Perfect,” Lee hums and presses you back down on the bed with a kiss. His large hand splays across your stomach. “Is that…?” Lee whispers pulling away slightly to sit back on his heels to run both his hands over your stomach. “Are you starting to show?”

“Am I?” You ask genuinely curious. “Maybe I just ate too much cake,” you laugh.

“Nah. You’re definitely growing a little bump,” he smiles making you giggle. He hums positively and runs his hands up to your breasts to massage your nipples into peaks leaving you squirming under him. “Don’t move,” Lee commands as he pulls away making you chase his lips for more kisses.

He unbuttons his shirt quickly making you bite your lip in anticipation. You watch as he strips showing off his perfect for cuddling body. “Lee,” you whimper in need, wiggling your hips.

“Didn’t I tell you not to move?” Lee smirks as he undoes his dress pants. His swollen cock springs free of his underwear and you’re left practically salivating.

“Need you.”

“Need me, huh?” Lee crawls over you as you spread your legs for him. “That’s rich coming for a woman who I undoubtedly need more.” He nips at your throat before kissing down to your breast. A finger runs along your slit rubbing lightly at your clit and making you squirm. You groan slightly, tossing your head back against the pillows. “You gonna let me in, caramel?” You nod, spreading your legs even further so he’ll touch you more. Connect with you deeper. That’s all you want.

“Please, Lee,” you whisper. His tip rubs against your slit roughly, pushing his way into and bumping your clit along the way leaving you a moaning mess.

“I got you, sweet girl,” he mutters before pulling you into orgasmic bliss with him.

“Look! Who’s that?” You ask your two year old pointing through the open office door. “Is that daddy?”

“Dada!” The toddler screams and runs through the sheriff’s department’s halls.

Lee glances up from his paper work and immediately lights up. “There’s my sweet girl!” He grins getting up to lift the girl high over his head. You can’t help but smile at your daughter’s excitement.

You step up to him just as he places the girl on his hip. “And there’s my sweetest girl,” he smirks before placing a kiss on your lips. “Missed you today.”

“You miss me everyday,” you giggle and kiss him again.

“Well, I missed you today in particular,” he jokes kissing you again.

“Why what happened today?”

He gives you a haughty look and you know he’s about to mess with you. “Johnson‘s girl brought him lunch today.”

“You are so jealous,” you laugh shaking your head. “Well, I’ll let Nichelle have your next baby.”

You turn away from him playfully but he grabs your wrist and pulls you back. “Oh, no, you aren’t.” His large hand rests on your swollen belly rubbing a small tight circle. “I don’t want to see anyone pregnant with my kids but you.”

“Lee,” you giggle softly.

“Besides, I think you brought me more than my kids.”

“Did I? Oh, I think I forgot it at home…”

Lee just hums and plucks the paper bag you brought in from your hand. “Been waiting on this all day, caramel,” he groans while you grin up at him. “Go sit. I don’t want you on your feet too much.” He commands now that he has his food.

“Yes, daddy,” you smirk and take his desk chair.

“Carmella, did you help your momma make this wonderful lunch?”

“Dada!” The girl cries attempting to rip his badge from his shirt. Lee just smiles and lets her. She could murder a man and he’d think it was the most precious thing in the world. You sigh contently as you watch your little family, your hand finding your stomach as you think about how much it’s going to grow.

“Been thinking about looking for a bigger place,” Lee sighs after taking a bite of his pot roast.

“Oh no,” you deny quickly. “I love our house.”

“We’re gonna outgrow it pretty soon.”

“How many babies do you want, Lee?” You laugh.

“As many as you’ll give me, caramel apple.”

“Let’s get through this one before you start trying to get me pregnant again,” you smile.

“Did you at least bring dessert?”

“There’s a ginger snap in there. I gave the rest to the boys when I came in.”

“One?” Lee frowns and you give him a pointed look.

“The doctor said to lower your sugar intake. I want you around to help me raise all these kids.”

Lee just sighs and continues working on his food. Men.

“Hey, Sheriff. Mrs. Sheriff,” the department secretary greets knocking once on the open door. “We’ve got some coloring books in here.” Lee lights up and looks at your daughter.

“You wanna go color, baby girl?” She nods attempts to squirm out of her father’s lap. “Go have fun.”

“And be good. Mind your manners for Ms. Lisa. Thank you!” You bid the secretary as she holds out her hand.

“And close the door on you way out,” Lee calls over his shoulder.

He just watches you for a moment over his desk as Lisa’s heels click away.

“Get up and bend over that desk,” he orders sharply and you quickly obey, wiggling your hips in anticipation. Lee approaches you from behind and lifts your dress over your hips and gives you a harsh spanking to your bare ass. “Such a naughty little thing coming in here with no panties.” You whine softly as Lee circles you. “Looks like you want to be punished.” You nod tightly, biting your bottom lip to keep your voice in check. You hear a belt and a zipper before Lee’s big palms connects to your hips.

“You gonna be a good girl and take your punishment?” You nod again quickly. “And you’re gonna keep quiet?”

“Yes, Lee,” you whisper. And attempt to hump his crotch.

“Calm down. I’m not gonna leave you wanting.” His hard cock teases your folds as you attempt to keep still for him. You need this so bad. If the two of you knew having children would greatly stunt your sex life, you would’ve held out for a few more months.

But you wouldn’t trade Carmella for the world.

You just desperately needed your brains fucked out of you.

And as Lee’s thick head breeches your core, you know you’re about to get your wish.

“Please, Lee. Please please please,” you chant as he bottoms out in you.

“Fuck, that feels good,” Lee groans gripping your hips a little tighter. “Always so tight for me, caramel. Can’t believe a baby came out of here.”

You just whine and try to keep it down to avoid notice from the rest of the department.

You let out a squeak as he thrusts roughly right into that spot.

You don’t how you’re going to stay quiet.

With each thrust the pounding in your ears gets louder and you can’t help but get more vocal.

“Right there! Please, Lee!” You husk into his desk, smothering your face into the dark wood.

“Right there, caramel? Is that where you need daddy?”

“Yes, daddy! Please!” Your needy humping attempting to keep up with his fluid thrust. “So close,” you whimper as the knot inside you gets tighter and tighter. You stand on your toes, gripping the edge of the desk, just to get a little more. That high making you freeze and succumb to your husband’s mercy. “Uh, uh, uh, huh! Huaaaah!” You moan as you come undone. Stars fill you vision as Lee presses against that spot so you can chase your high. Your breaths come in quick huffs as you start to come down.

You already want more.

“You alright?” You nod attempting to catch your breath. “Fuck, sweet girl,” he groans. “Wanna see you,” Lee groans softly and pulls out leaving you feeling so empty. You needed him back inside you.

You quickly turned over, sitting on the desk with your dress bunched around your waist. You aren’t big enough yet to make this position uncomfortable but it still required some contorting.

Lee easily lifted your leg over his shoulder, sliding you to the edge of the desk, and reentering your core. You release a soft sigh as he fills you and buck against his hips for a little more friction.

Your panting sighs fill the room and Lee finds your lips, melding them together as you lean back on your elbows.

“Please, Lee. Need it,” you whimper against his lips. “Please, daddy. Fill me up!”

“Quiet!” Lee hisses, spanking your hip making you squeak in shock and pleasure. “Fuck, I’m close,” he groans into your neck. His thrust become more erratic and faster as your soft whines fill spur him on. That tight knot in your body get tighter and higher just a little faster and harder. Please, please, please.

“Nnngh,” you moan biting your lip as your hips still while Lee finishes inside of you. His warmth spreads across your insides leaving your full and satisfied.

“Fuck,” Lee sighs pressing his forehead against yours while taking deep breaths. “You alright?” He asks, pressing a hand to your swollen stomach.

You nod quickly before falling back on the desk in a comfortable heap. Lee chuckles softly while watching you come down from your high.

“What?” You ask softly closing your eyes against the harsh fluorescent light.

“It’s gonna smell like sex in here for a week,” he discloses making you giggle.

“Shame we can’t do this in our own bed anymore,” you smile.

“And who’s fault is that?”

“I can’t say ‘no’ to that cute, little face. She wants to be close to her momma.” You lets out a soft sigh as he pulls his softening cock out of you. You wait for Lee to wipe you down with a handkerchief but it never happens so you lift up on your elbows to see where he went.

You find your husband studying your dripping pussy and it makes you clench around nothing.

Those bright blue eyes snap up to yours and a smirk spreads across your Lee’s lips.

“You still not satisfied, caramel?” You bite your bottom lip again as his big hand grips your thigh. “One more?” You nod quickly as his finger spread his cum across your swollen lips and dip inside of you to get you off once more.

“Momma!” Your baby cries seeing you as Lee walks you out of the department.

“There’s my baby. What’d you draw?” You ask bending over the desk your daughter took over with crayons and scrap paper.

“Momma, Kitty, me, dada, pony” she says pointing at the individual blobs on the paper.

“Pony?” You laugh and start cleaning up the crayons.

“I took her to see the mounted deputies the other day. Did I tell you she wants a horse?” Lee grins stepping behind you to inspect the image, placing a large hand on the small of your back and sending a shiver down your spine. You should’ve spent a few more minutes in his office. “Mommy and daddy will have to think about a horse, baby,” you explain to the child, giving your husband and side eye as she reaches for Lee to lift her up.

“That’s beautiful, baby,” he grins picking up the girl and the drawing and ignoring you. “I think I’ll hang it up in my office.” He takes her back to his office to find the perfect spot for his new art while you clean up.

“Thanks again, Lisa.”

“Anytime,” she smiles. “I have four. It’s hard to get time alone,” the secretary winks just as your husband returns. He grabs your hand before you can feel too embarrassed by the statement and leads you to your car.

“Alright, sweet girl. I’ll see you when I get home,” he promises the girl as she cuddles into his chest, clinging to him stubbornly. He places her in the back seat with minimal protest before turning to you. “And I’ll see you tonight, my sweetest girl.” You smile as he presses a kiss to your forehead. “I love you.”

“Love you, too,” you whisper and accept a soft kiss before Lee opens your car door.

“We’re getting her out of our bed this weekend,” Lee promises for the hundredth time which only makes you smile and nod.

“Of course we are, Sheriff.”

“This time, I mean it,” Lee assures you with a stern look. “Drive safe.”

“Yes, Sheriff,” you smile right before he bangs on the hood of your car and you head back to the library to finish your own work day.

Of course Lee attempts once more to get your daughter to sleep in her own room. And once again it ends with her lying in between the two of you, curled up next to your cat. Everyone right where they belong.

Except for the horse.

Master List

[ateezmakemeweep]

playing with fire (part 1)

word count: 23k

fluff, smut (warning: age gap, infidelity, roommate’s father)

(series masterlist)

“is there any other way you could pay?” the woman behind the desk asked, stout and soft spoken with sympathy in her eyes.

she probably has to have this conversation with students a lot, tell them that their tuition payment didn’t go through or that they’re not eligible for government support.

or that the athletics department needed more scholarship money, successfully rendering you, one of the many photography majors on campus, unable to pay for your last semester of college.

“a loan of some sort or another scholarship, maybe?” she tried to help, “i could send over an e-mail of ones you might be eligible for.”

you swallow the lump forming in your throat, attempting to calm all the anxiety and stress violently making its way through your body.

“y-yes, that would be great, thank you,” you barely manage to get out, hoping and praying to some unknown force above that you don’t burst into tears.

you were nearing the end of the fall semester, the last fall semester you ever anticipated of having, when you found out just last week that you were no longer eligible for your scholarship.

in a short, curt e-mail explaining that, while you kept up your gpa and never strayed from the requirements, they’ve maxed out their amount of funding and are looking to use that money elsewhere.

“can they do that!?” your best friend and roommate of four years yelps, gucci sunglasses atop her head as she stomps around your shared, off-campus apartment.

“they can’t seriously do that! you’ve been a straight a student since you started and now they wanna take it away?! before your last semester of senior year?!”

“eunbi, it’s not ideal but i’ve already come to terms with it,” you explain gently, leaving out the part where you did, in fact, have a break down right outside the bursar office only an hour ago. “i’ll just save up money and come back in the fall to finish.”

“that’s so not right or fair though!” she whines, something about the concept of not getting what she wants unfamiliar to your roommate.

you first met park eunbi during freshmen move in day, your two raggedy luggages and beat up backpacks an embarrassing contrast to the multiple louis vuitton travel bags she lunged in.

you were intimidated for all of three seconds, before she looked at you with a smile and threw her arms around you like a long lost best friend.

it was obvious she came from money, the way she spoke and carried herself so confidently before her parents came in and introduced themselves.

they were both gorgeous and tall and looked far too young to have an 18-year-old daughter, covered in fancy jewelry and expensive looking clothing.

her dad, who introduced himself as mr. park seonghwa, didn’t seem to bat an eye at your more humble appearance. he reminded you a lot of eunbi, honest and genuine in the way he was kind and nonjudgemental.

mrs. park seemed nice enough, too, though you could see the judgement behind her pretty eyes.

the way she sneered at your bags and looked down at your hands, so different from her and her daughter’s not covered in diamond bracelets or acrylic nails.

“did we just miss your parents?” she asked, her voice just as pretty and rich sounding as she appeared; you bet if she laughed, she’d had have that melodic, care-free laugh all rich women seem to have.

“oh, uh, yeah, i’m sorry,” you apologized, lying through your teeth with a shy smile and averting gaze - you had to move in by yourself, the same way you traveled here all alone with no one to send you off.

“it’s okay, we just thought it’d be nice to meet them,” eunbi’s father interjects, the smile on his handsome face causing your stomach to swoop - how is he a dad?

“we were gonna take eunbi to an early dinner before we left. do you wanna join us?”

“oh no, it’s okay, i’d hate to intru-”

“no, you’re coming, c’mon!” your new roommate whined, grabbing your hand and pulling you toward the door. “we’ll be able to get a lot of dessert out of them. probably the whole menu if we wanted.”

and you saw that over the years, eunbi knew she could, in fact, get whatever she wanted from her parents. they had the money and the means and the fondness in their hearts for their only daughter.

but it never seemed to get to your friend.

she was always kind and thoughtful of others and never said or did anything to suggest she was just a brainless, spoiled rich kid.

even in your guy’s second year when she found out you were going to school on an academic scholarship, she didn’t care. she didn’t turn her nose up or think you were lesser than her for not having the funds; if anything, it only made her praise you more.

that you were smart and ambitious enough to work under the strict guidelines of a prestigious scholarship.

“i know it’s not fair,” you mumble, not wanting to cry or have another anxiety attack over this matter. “but it is what it is. i’ll figure it out.”

she lets out a dejected, defeated sigh so uncharacteristic of the girl, plopping down on her pink, fluffy bed and bringing you down with her.

“we’ll sell feet pics over winter break,” she concludes after a few minutes of silence, wrapping her arm around yours and curling her body into yours. “you know how much money we can get from that? and we have pretty feet,” she says, sticking her leg up and wiggling her red, painted toes.

there’s a little less tightness in your chest and a little heaviness lifted in your stomach as you let out a giggle, looking over at your best friend who truly got you through the last four years of school.

you really don’t know how you’d still be functioning if it weren’t for her.

“you’re sick.”

“i’m serious,” she giggles out, flipping on her side and causing the bed to bounce under you. “you’re still good with coming tomorrow, right? i told my parents you were.”

she had invited you to her house for the winter break this year, the girl not wanting you to spend a month alone in the apartment.

you’ve shared with her how strained your relationship with your parents has been, really, since birth. never seeing eye to eye to them and feeling as if they never had your best interests at heart.

when most kids get full ride scholarships, their parents are immensely proud. bragging about how smart they are and telling them how proud they were.

but your parents were the opposite.

they didn’t want you to up and leave them to pursue an education. they thought you were gonna stay with them forever, not go to college like them and help run the family business back home in your tiny little hometown.

it was your dream to go to college and get a degree, though, so that’s exactly what you did for yourself; but they saw it as a giant fuck you.

saw it as you thinking you were better than them and basically told you to never come back if you thought you were so much smarter and better off without them.

so you’d spent every winter or summer vacation in the dorms, this year finally being the time you accepted eunbi’s invitation to stay over - reluctantly.

“i packed all my stuff, yeah,” you mumble, hands twisted into one another nervously. “but... are you sure they’re okay with it? i don’t wanna intrude or be there if i’m not wanted.”

“y/n, please,” she whines, “my mom may be a raging bitch but you know i make the rules in that house.”

“that’s not what i meant,” you mutter immediately, looking to the girl with a small frown on your lips.

although it was no secret eunbi’s mom didn’t ever seem too fond of you, always sneering at your off-brand items or questioning the logistics of why exactly you needed a scholarship to afford college, you always tried to remain polite.

smile at her and greet her happily even though there was always a thick, palpable tension between you two.

“oh but it is,” she chuckles out, the girl far too aware of what a materialistic snob her mother is. “it’s fine, i know she’s a bitch. my dad’s just coming tomorrow anyway. i told him to bring one of the bigger cars so we can lay out in the back.”

you have to bite back a snarky comment about the fact there are multiple cars in question, though the look in your eye certainly gives it away. she can only giggle and shrug her shoulders, flopping onto her back as she tells you about how excited she is to be reunited with her boyfriend.

eunbi and jiwoon have been dating since their second year of high school, going to colleges only an hour away from each other; he was just as handsome as he was kind and good to her, leaving you with no other option but to love and support the both of them.

and you try to listen to her rambling that ensues, you really do, but your mind is swirling with some slight anxiety about staying with her family for a month.

you don’t wanna make her mom even more irritated, deal with the side eyes and passive aggressive comments and overall feeling of just not being wanted.

you don’t want eunbi to feel obligated to be with you 24/7, act as a cock block to her and her boyfriend who haven’t seen each other in almost six weeks.

and maybe, you don’t want your tiny, small, miniscule crush on mr. park to make you feel any more awkward than it does, wondering how a married man who has a daughter in college is still so handsome and alluring.

it also doesn’t help that he’s just so incredibly kind, always making everyone feel so comfortable and welcomed, it’d be hard not to just develop a little, secret crush on him.

“eunbi, who is that sexy ass man who just dropped you off?” one of your suite mates asks your roommate, everyone gathering back in front of the dorm building after winter break.

it was sophomore year and you spent a month in the quiet, almost eerie college dorms alone (apart from the ra down the hall). you were grateful for everyone to return, no matter how loud or catty things were about to become.

“yeah, for real. is that your new boyfriend? he’s hotter than the last one and i didn’t even think that was possible.”

“uhhh.. no,” eunbi says, shooting the crowd of girls with lustful eyes and curious glances a look of distaste. “that’s my dad.”

and that’s when a chorus of disbelief and inappropriate comments erupted from the group of college girls.

asking how a dad could look like that while hoping and praying he’s single.

inquiring about just how much her dad’s on campus and when’s the next time he’s gonna pick her up.

about how he’s definitely hotter than her boyfriend, with a more mature and sophisticated look than these college boys.

“are they fucking serious! like how disgusting? he’s my literal father!” eunbi rages once in the dorm room, sharing a few curse words and vulgar phrases at the girl’s before stomping away from them.

“and for them to say that shit in front of me? did they think i want to hear that?”

“i know, that was so sick,” you agree, because even though you, too, think he’s attractive, it’s not something you would ever verbalize to your friend.

“like... i know he’s younger than most dads, my parents had me when they were teenagers, but shit! how sick,” she rants, throwing down her heavy designer bags and flopping on her bed.

you can tell by the look on her face how much it truly bothers her, everyone always noticing her dad and making comments like that. she handles it well, she’s always able to handle herself well, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s something that worries her.

people getting close to her to get to her dad, even if it was teachers or other moms in elementary school or her friends when she got to college.

it’s one of the many reasons you would never give away your little crush on him - because it’s not only inappropriate and uncomfortable for her to know but there’s also no need to tell her.

because it’s not like it would go anywhere.

he’s a married man and your roommate’s father, a twisted, dark, forbidden fantasy that will stay in the walls of your head and never see the light of day - no matter how thrilling and fulfilling being with him would be.

“eunbi, your dad’s gonna be here soon,” you yell into your roommate’s doorway, met with the sound of her groaned “five more minutes!” that you’ve been hearing for the past twenty.

she was on facetime with jiwoon when you went to bed around one, briefly waking to the sound of her girlish screams or high-pitched giggles three hours later; you wouldn’t be surprised if she only went to bed a few hours ago.

“you said five more minutes thirty minutes ago,” you say, stomping your way over before smacking her over the head with a pillow. she lets out a loud sigh before swatting you away, your surprisingly fast reflexes grabbing her wrist.

she peeks one eye open as a smirk covers her morning face, looking from you all dressed up and ready in your pink pleated skirt and white thigh high stockings, down to her wrist in your hold.

“that was kinda hot. and you look good. i don’t know how to act right now.”

“shut up and get your ass out of bed,” you demand, biting back a smile as you storm out of her room.

you’d been pacing around the apartment ever since you woke up at seven a.m., more and more unsettled about staying over her house as the time drew closer.

you checked to make sure you had enough clothes and chargers and skincare products for nearly an hour, finally settling the same purple suitcase you moved in with freshmen year near the door.

you hope mrs. park doesn’t notice, remembering the way she sneered at the wonky zipper and slightly stained bottom.

you also hope you can keep yourself in check, not get too nervous or flustered by eunbi’s exorbitant wealth or a new setting you don’t feel welcomed in or her hot ass father whose bones you wanna jump.

the knock at the door completely sobers you, jumping in your spot just in time to see eunbi fly across the living room to get to the door. there’s a big, happy smile on her face, ripping open the door and greeting her father in typical eunbi fashion.

“are those for me?” she asks, snatching the red box from his hands.

excitement bubbles inside the girl as she unveils twelve chocolate covered strawberries, a speciality at one of the local dessert shops just a few miles from her home.

“you shouldn’t have, dad, really. i’m much too tired to appreciate this.”

the man can only look at his daughter with a look of disdain and affection, waking up to an extremely passive aggressive text that she’d really appreciate an early morning treat from her favorite place ever and that it’d really inspire her to be ready.

but as he can currently see, given the state of her hair and pajamas pants, it didn’t at all act as a motivator.

“then maybe i should just-” but upon her father’s hand reaching out to grab the box of strawberries, the girl brings it to her body and runs away, yelling that her bags are packed and she’s just gonna wash her face.

he looks to you with a mock annoyed expression, your heart jumping in your chest as you send him a small, polite smile.

“how do you deal with her, y/n?” he asks, a smirk on his face rising as you let out a soft, slightly forced giggle - this man looks too good for his own good at ten o’clock in the morning.

“don’t talk shit about me!” she yelps before you can even think to say something, a smile lighting up his face again before he nods his head down the hall.

“i’ll bring down your girl’s bags,” he says, his tall, large frame coming toward you making your knees feel slightly wobbly.

you swear you see his eyes roam over you for the shortest of seconds, down to your shirt and exposed legs before back to your face, until he’s looking into your eyes questioningly.

totally not like someone who just checked out their daughter’s roommate - this is what you feared, your own delusionals and attraction making your crazy little brain see something that’s not there.

“her bedroom’s down that hall?”

you resist the urge to swallow nervously, begging yourself to snap out of it and remind yourself you have to deal with the man for a month. a month of his dark, piercing eyes and bright, white smile and skin so smooth and clear, it’s far too easy to forget he’s almost forty years old.

“yeah,” you barely manage to get out. “i-i can help and bring down mine.”

“no, it’s okay,” he insists, “help in getting eunbi ready. you know she’ll delay us thirty more minutes.”

you let out another strained chuckle as you nod your head, finally letting out the breath you’ve been holding when you hear his footsteps disappear down the hall and into her room.

as long as you distance yourself from him, not look him in the eye or let any sort of idea get in your head that an older, married man could want you back, this will be fine.

it’ll be a nice, calm, relaxed break actually full of interaction and socialization opposed to your usual lonely bubble of solitude.

eunbi’s not making that very easy though, when twenty minutes later, she’s opening the back door of her father’s black g-wagen and sprawling out on the black leather seats.

“where’s y/n supposed to go, eunbi?” seonghwa asked, the fatherly tone is his voice causing eunbi to let out a huff; the only time you see eunbi’s spoiled tendencies come out is around her father, the girl knowing he’ll do anything and everything for her.

and apparently, so will you.

sitting in the front seat of her car, next to her extremely hot father you’re trying to stay calm around, while she sleeps soundly in the backseat - if she didn’t invite to stay at her home, meals and bed and transportation free, you’d say she has to owe you.

“was she up all night talking to jiwoon?” mr. park asked, the past few moments of silence just as comforting as they were terrifying. it felt awkward to you, extremely tense and full of suspense, but you knew it was completely normal.

you bite down on your lip, looking back at eunbi sleeping soundly on the seat, even prepared with a fuzzy white blanket. you let out a soft giggle when you see her mouth open, the slightest bit of drool hanging from her mouth and threatening to spill on the dark leather.

“she might’ve been,” you mutter, a breathy laugh leaving her father that causes you to sneak a glance at him.

there’s not a hint of a wrinkle or imperfection on his glowing skin, black hair hanging in his face and red lips quirked into a content smile. that’s something you always noticed about him, despite his dark appearance and looming figure, he always appears to be happy.

smiles and laughs and never gives anyone without his same wealth a dirty glance - he treats everyone the same and that’s another reason you’ve taking a liking to him, not just because he’s the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your life.

“y/n?” he asks, your intrusive thoughts being ripped away at the sound of his voice calling your name.

your eyes move to his and he’s watching you in slight amusement, a rampant blush creeping up on your cheeks at the way you’ve been caught. you’re quick to look away, shake your head and let out an awkward chuckle and apology.

you miss the way his eyes roam your side profile, a delightful smirk and feeling in his chest blooming before he speaks again.

“how was your semester?”

“it was good,” you say, hands placed nervously in your lap. “a lot of work on top of an internship but it was good.”

“and you girls are almost done,” he hums lowly, one hand atop the steering wheel while his eyes focus on the highway in front of him. “eunbi’s been talking about a combined graduation party since the moment you guys met.”

you let out a small laugh as you remember eunbi’s plan since your second semester of freshmen year, ignoring the twinge of sadness in your stomach.

you could’ve never anticipated delaying your college career when you first received your scholarship, happy and proud and eternally grateful for the opportunity.

but you suppose you’re lucky enough to have gotten this far, and delaying one last semester is nothing compared to people who never get to go to college - but it still makes you feel upset.

you think you have the right to feel disappointed and sad, the lingering sick feeling in your stomach making you feel nauseous.

“is it okay if i open the window for a second?” you mumble to mr. park, the man looking over your face.

he presses down on the passenger window button immediately, your face met with cold air as relief floods through your body.

“are you okay? do you get car sick?” he asks, remembering how much eunbi used to get car sick (on the rare occasion she wasn’t passed out during a road trip).

“not usually,” you mumble, resting your head on the side of the door.

then again, i’m not usually freaking out about making tuition money or repressing my violent attraction to my roommate’s father.

seonghwa watches as you close your eyes for a few moment, allowing the cold, windy air to hit your face. he couldn’t help but notice the pinkish tint to your cheeks, suppressing the urge for his eyes and thoughts to wander.

you’re a college girl in the prime of her life and his daughter’s best friend, he’d be a fool to think you were blushing and nervous because of him - but he also doesn’t remember you looking like.... this.

so pretty and dressed up and pink in the face as you check him out with a soft and curious look in your eye.

“maybe try to take a nap,” he suggests, his gaze lingering back onto the road so he doesn’t look at your exposed legs. “i’ll pull off at a rest stop to get you ginger ale.”

“that’s not necessary, mr. park,” your sweet voice says, something about it causing his insides to jump - he definitely doesn’t remember you sounding like that. “i’ll be okay. just need the window open for a little longer.”

you spend the next few minutes with the cold, december wind blowing through the car, your back pressed against the comfortable seat behind you. a chill runs through your body, goosebumps rising on your exposed thighs, but it feels better than the alternative.

potentially panicking or vomiting due to current stress of your life.

your gaze shifts to the man beside you, whether it be to check him out or ask if he’s cold unknown to you.

“are you okay with the-”

the words are stuck in your throat when you see his eyes aren’t on the road but your exposed, goose-bumpy thighs, the white lace of your thigh high stockings and pink skirt leaving little to the imagination.

you wish you could see the look in his eye, if it’s judgemental and shameful or full of lust and curiosity. if he’s wondering what you have on just a few inches under your skirt and if that’s something he even thinks about.

or maybe he’s just looking because it’s there - your skirt blowing in the wind and him caught off guard by the sight right there in his passenger seat.

“um, i think i’m good now,” you mumble, watching from your peripheral as he shifts in his seat and tightens his hold on the steering wheel.

“alright, let me know if you wanna stop.”

you bite down on your lip as you nod your head, keeping your eyes on the view in front of you.

the faint sounds of eunbi snoring behind you act as a way to ground you, remind you that these thoughts and feelings you’re having can’t stay.

maybe you have to get it our of your system now, take all the looks you can and feel all the hopefulness your delusional brain needs until you act as if eunbi’s father is a mean, disgusting, grotesque man.

not someone who gets your heart and body pounding.

you’re not sure how many songs play on the radio until you both are talking again, seonghwa looking in the rearview mirror to see his daughter still passed out on the seats.

“do you think she’ll sleep the whole time?”

he hope for his sake, she doesn’t.

you look back at eunbi sleeping soundly, the drool previously trickling down her mouth successfully making a pool on the black leather.

“probably,” you chuckle out lightly. “i have a feeling she went to bed around six.”

“shit,” he laughs out, remembering the days he used to be able to pull all nighters in college or dreaded the idea of waking up in the morning. “i can’t remember the last time i was able to stay up past one.”

“you’re not even that old, mr. park,” you tease, not sure where you got the balls to say that and feeling, at least for a few seconds, that you overstepped; but then he lets out a deep, amused chuckle and it causes butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

“not that old, huh?” he quips, your tooth sinking into your lip at the tone of his voice. “you know i’m turning 40 in a few months, right?”

you crane your neck to look at the man in the driver’s seat, swallowing thickly when you see his eyes are already on you. there’s a certain type of lightness and teasing in them that you’ve never seen before, the man always happy and jovial but never like this.

never looking so... teasing and playful.

“yeah,” you say with a growing smirk, not being able to help your own nervous excitement. “that doesn’t seem too bad.”

the deep, low chuckle that leaves him causes your stomach to swoop, eyes wide and the small smile on your face causing him to look over you once more.

it’s shameless and bold but neither of you seem to care in that moment.

“i’ll keep that in mind,” he says, deep brown eyes piercing through yours before his face turns teasing and.. appropriate.. “the next time eunbi tries to call me an old man or something.”

“right,” you chuckle out, cheeks burning and heart pounding as you allow yourself to break eye contact.

the ride to eunbi’s house is just over two hours, hoping and praying that it goes by quickly - because you’re not sure how much longer you’ll be able to be alone, or mostly alone, with him.

you’re thinking too much into his words and his gaze and the way he makes you feel, making you silly enough to believe that, maybe, a part of him wants you too.

the second you arrived at eunbi’s, you had already felt unwelcomed.

not only because of mrs. park, who just about sneered at your presence in her exquisite home, but because of the dozens of other socialites in the immaculately white living room.

it looked and felt almost like a hospital. a white color scheme with black accents, extremely cold and spotless - the only bit of color was in eunbi’s room where it felt like you could actually breathe.

“i’m sorry, i told her not to throw her fucking gathering today,” eunbi complained, grumpy from her nap but still happy to finally be home.

“a bunch of stuck up snobs, i swear to god. they either have to get the stick lodged so far up their asshole removed or get dicked down by their lousy excuses of-”

“eunbi,” you hear her father’s deep voice reprimand, the girl not even feeling the slightest bit of shame or embarrassment for talking that way in front of her father.

“oh, c’mon, dad, you know it’s true!” she whines in a whispered tone. “they’re the worst! and she knew me and y/n were coming today, do you really think that wasn’t a coincidence?”

because, as far as eunbi thinks, she has sinking suspicions that her mom did this solely to make you uncomfortable.

she had already been hesitant to let you stay in the first place, had eunbi not gone full on bitch mode and stubbornly proclaimed she’d spend the break with you at the apartment.

but you didn’t have to know that.

“i don’t care, it’ll just be my first christmas without my family, mom, who cares about that,” she had said, all types of manipulative and toxic behavior that she learned from the best.

she’s sure her mother was sweet and good at one point in her life, she wouldn’t have ended up with her father in the first place if she wasn’t, but money changes people.

wealth and greed and having the power to get anything you want because you flash a stack of money around or write out a check.

“i told her to have them out by dinner,” he said, his eyes moving from eunbi to you, standing there with tense shoulders and a shy, uncomfortable look on your face.

“you’re more than welcomed here, y/n,” he said, his voice low and full of kindness as he stands in eunbi’s doorway. “don’t worry about it, okay?”

you resist the urge to pout at the touched feeling in your chest, looking from the man to eunbi who’s nodding at her dad’s words.

“thank you, mr. park,” you say, a phrase he swears has never effected him this deeply.

and because of that, he’s quick to haul ass out of there. tells you guys that dinner will be ready around seven and to come down whenever.

you and eunbi spend that time in her room to unpack both of your things and watch movies, her king sized bed nearly lulling you to sleep until her loud squeal and bounce of the bed causes you to jump in shock.

“y/n, don’t be mad at me please,” she whines directly in your face, all wide-eyed and cutesy as she looks at you with mock innocence.

“what did you do?” you mumble tiredly, pushing her away with the smallest of sneers.

“i’ll be back for dinner, i promise, but... is it okay if i go to jiwoon’s for a little?” she asks, cocking her head to the side before shimming closer to you. “i have to get railed so bad.”

“jesus christ, eunbi,” you snort, pushing her away again and burying your face in the pillow - you’ve never met someone who overshares as much as she does.

she plops down on her back with an unabashed giggle, popping right back up like an annoying little dog and looking at you with a smile.

“of course you can go, i’m not gonna hold you hostage here,” you say when she pulls your face away, looking at you so expectantly and sweetly, you couldn’t say no if you wanted.

“okay, but i don’t want you thinking that i’m gonna ditch you this whole time. i’m really not, y/n,” she pouts, knowing that was one of the reasons you were apprehensive about coming - that and her bitch of a mother. “i just miss him.”

a pout falls on your face as you look at eunbi and the genuine look on her face.

“bi, i’m serious, go. i want you to,” you insist, moving a piece of her tangled hair away from her face. “we were just gonna be up here anyway. i’ll probably take a nap, i was about to fall asleep before your loud ass-”

“thank you, thank you, thank you,” she says, pulling you into a tight hug before jumping off her bed and rushing toward her door. “i’ll be back a lot more calm and happy. oh, why, you ask? because i’m about to get my back blown the fuck ou-”

you thank god for your impeccable aim, promptly whacking eunbi in the face with one of her pillows.

“get out of here,” you groan, eunbi throwing the pillow back with a smile on her face.

“sweet dreams, y/n!”

you let out a sigh when she closes her door, falling back onto her bed with a soft plop.

you were definitely tired from your anxious pacing this morning but aren’t sure how much sleep you’re gonna get right now, tonight or for the rest of the month.

knowing that you’re unwelcomed by one person, extremely attracted to another and silently betraying the person you should be most loyal too - but as long as it just stays in your head, and you remind yourself that there’s no way mr. park could feel anything back to you, it’ll be fine.

you’ll just get by quietly and smoothly at dinners or in passing through the hallways, enjoy eunbi’s comfortable king-sized bed and the fact that you don’t have to spend yet another holiday alone.

reruns of drake and josh play in the background, keeping your giggles quiet as drake soaks his feet in lizard pee. you feel your eyes grow heavy the more episodes you watch, the shitty laugh track and loud, bickering brothers eventually lulling you to sleep.

it takes about five knocks on the door to eventually stir you, your eyes fluttering open to see mr park’s figure in the doorway. you can only stare at the man as you adjust to him, taking in his tall, slim figure just a few feet away from you.

taking in the way his white shirt clings to his body, broad shoulders and slim torso on display in a way that makes you wish you could see, just for a second, what he looks like underneath that a-

“sorry if i woke you,” his deep voice hums, the slightest bit of amusement in his voice that causes your cheeks to warm. “i didn’t think you’d be sleeping at seven p.m.”

“no, it’s okay,” you stammer out, sitting up in eunbi’s bed. “i... i don’t even know when i fell asleep, to be honest.”

he looks at the screen to see drake and josh playing, a smirk pulling at his lips as his gaze shifts back to you.

“it’s funny,” you defend with a mumble, a deep chuckle leaving his mouth that causes butterflies to erupt in your stomach - he’s far too handsome, everything about him is just far too attractive, even in his laugh.

“that’s what eunbi claims,” he says, remembering all the years of his daughter forcing him to watch ridiculous shows.

despite his daughter’s outgoing nature, she never had a lot of friends growing up.

there was once a small group of girls she hung out but they quickly drifted apart throughout high school, leaving eunbi really only with him and her boyfriend.

the boyfriend who seonghwa really didn’t wanna like out of principal but seeing that the kid really does love his daughter quickly coming around.

“speaking of, where is she? jiwoon’s?”

“yeah,” you tell him, settling back into the pillows and stretching your arms out in front of you. “she said she’d be back for dinner.”

“well she’s wrong, as usual, because dinner’s ready,” he quips playfully, the smirk pulling at his lips causing you to smile back at him. you swallow nervously when his eyes roam over your face, your own gaze trained on him before you see his mouth start to move again.

“do you want me to bring some up for you? or you’ll come down?”

he can see the apprehension on your face immediately, fear crossing your eyes and your arms folding into each other uncomfortably. he tries to ignores the way your soft white sweater dips by your chest, a hint of perky cleavage just barely showing that causes his dick to twitch in his pants.

he doesn’t know when this happened.

he didn’t know when he became a pervy old man who checked out college girls with his wife just downstairs and the knowledge that you’re his daughter’s friend.

“i’ll come down,” you say, surprising him just as he was about to insist he brings some up for you. “she’ll probably be back soon anyway.”

but five minutes pass by, then ten, then twenty and eunbi’s still not home - it’s just you, seonghwa and mrs. park at the long, glass dining room table.

white chairs with high backs and comfortable cushions to match the immaculate, hospital-like color scheme and environment; truthfully, you’ve never been more terrified to eat a plate of chicken parmesan in your life.

the sound of utensils scraping on the china and the crackling of the fireplace a room over are the only noises heard throughout the home, mrs. park taking a swig of wine and gently placing it on the table with a light clack.

“so, y/n,” she finally says, breaking the tension with her rich-sounding, nasally voice. “how has school been, dear? you’re an... art major, am i remembering that correctly?”

“uh, photography, yeah,” you smile tensely, trying to ignore the judgment in her voice.

“ah, so you never switched over to business then,” she hums, her wine glass back in hand as her dark, gorgeous eyes look you over.

you bite the inside of your cheek as you feel a pink flush cover your face, faintly remembering your roommate saving you a few semesters ago when her mom was grilling you about picking a more practical and useful major.

“she can do whatever she wants, mom,” eunbi eventually snapped, “whether she does business or photography or even liberal arts is none of your business.”

“no,” you mutter out, dropping your gaze to look over the intricate pattern on the table. “i thought about it but it wasn’t something i wanted.”

“so you didn’t want something practical? or useful?” she asks, using those two words yet again while cocking her head to the side with a perfectly plucked eyebrow.

“a business degree would’ve been great, y/n. everyone always has connections to somewhere, you could’ve found a job right out of college.”

you bite back the urge to tell her no. that not everyone has connections to multi billion dollar companies or numbers of ceos in their phones or the ceo of a tech company as their next door neighbors.

but instead, the same way eunbi defended you against her mother, seonghwa does against his wife. gives you a soft, sympathetic side eye before placing his larger hand on his wife’s.

“there are tons of jobs in photography too, honey,” seonghwa says, his voice so warm and soft and welcoming compared to hers even despite the slight edge in it.

“and she can travel to build her portfolio. it’s a fantastic opportunity to explore the world and make money. is there a particular type of photography you’d wanna do?”

you feel yourself relax slightly, a small smile on your face as you nod your head toward the striking couple.

“i would love to be a wedding photographer actually,” you mumble, a romantic at heart who’s read and watched far too many novels and romcoms.

“taking pictures of all those moments would be really fun, i think. like when the groom sees the bride for the first time or just everyone dancing and having fun. weddings are usually happy and i like to photography happy things.”

“that sounds perfect for you then,” seonghwa smiles, his brown eyes lighting up and making you feel even more at ease.

“i think you’ll do great, y/n. and you only have a semester left, right? maybe you and eunbi you could travel for the summer before you start your jobs.”

you ignore the swish of dread and anxiety in your stomach at the mention of next semester, instead choosing to smile softly and nod your head at the man.

“i think she’d love that,” you giggle out, knowing damn well your roommate already has an extensive list of cities she wants to visit before ‘real life begins.’

“and how do your parents feel about everything?” mrs. park asks, making your stomach twist with even more dread and discomfort. “are they proud?”

you wish you could fold in on yourself right now, swallowing the growing, nervous lump in your throat.

because not only is she making you incredibly uncomfortable right now, with her harsh looks and topic of conversation and snide little tone, she just mentioned the people you haven’t spoken to since you left home at eighteen.

you don’t know what to say, you have the slightest bit of concern you might throw up on her, when the loud, chipper voice of your roommate floats through the cold, silent house.

“i’m back!” her chipper voice yelps, sock-clad feet running through the house and sliding on the marble floor. “what’d you guys make?”

“you’re late, eunbi,” seonghwa mumbles warningly, an innocent smile on her face as she picks up her plate of food and plops down next to you.

“am i? or are you girls just early?”

“i’m not a girl.”

“it’s a figure of speech, father,” eunbi says, smiling playfully at her father before turning to you.

she’s able to tell the second she sees your face that you’re uncomfortable, the pink flush still lingering on your face and the tenseness of your shoulders making her frown.

“i’m sorry you were alone with them,” she whispers, genuine sorrow in her wide, mock-innocent eyes. “i got held up. or... down, rather, but i tried to leave on time. i promise.”

“uh huh, i bet,” you mumble back, fighting back a smile despite your discomfort.

because eunbi has always had something about her that made it impossible to stay mad at her, her carefree, unfiltered way of communicating that made being her friend so easy.

even if, sometimes, you wanted to kill her.

“so mom,” eunbi quips, turning her soft gaze to you before looking over her mother.

“what was with your little group of bitchy housewives today? you couldn’t have had them over any other day? what kind of christmas disgrace is that?”

“eunbi...” seonghwa chastises lowly, the girl with her brow already quirked and eyes narrowed.

“i can do whatever i want in my home, eunbi. are you forgetting how things work around here?”

“how could i, when i’m met with thirty middle-aged women with botox out the ass in my home the second i get back from school?” she asks, “you didn’t think me and y/n would wanna spend the break, like, resting?”

“you ran off to your boyfriend’s the second you got here,” mrs. park bites back, her glass of wine empty as she pinches the bridge of her nose. “left your friend all alone in your room. what did i tell you about leaving... guests unattended in the house?”

the accusation and direction of conversation is quickly making you feel uncomfortable, your head turned down in your lap and leaving your cheeks aflame.

she’s making it sound like you would steal something in her home for christ’s sake, like you’re not a guest who’s dreaded coming here due to this very reason.

you block out the back and forth between eunbi and her mom, a few more seconds of yappy feminine voices before a deeply spoken “enough,” echoes through the dining room.

you even look up at the sound, watching as mr. park’s eyes rest on you. his eyes narrow as he takes in the sight of your red cheeks, his gaze shifting from you to his daughter to his wife beside him.

“y/n’s here for a month and we’re gonna make her feel welcomed the entire time. if you two are gonna fight, don’t do it at the dinner table.”

“but dad, she totally-”

“maybe you should’ve taught your daughter-”

“no more,” seonghwa growls, a sense of finality in his tone that causes the room to go silent.

you can tell your friend is unbothered by the reprimanding, shoveling food into her mouth and sipping from her wine glass completely unbothered.

sometimes you wish you could be more like her, so unfazed by conflict or loud voices or the strained relationship with a parent.

eunbi was always open with you about the rocky relationship with her mother, saying more than once to you that if it weren’t for her father, she would’ve long cut off any contact with her.

she had never really been there for eunbi growing up, having nannies and chefs take care of her for most of her life - it was her nanny of fifteen years who taught her how to walk and talk, was there with her for all the milestones she met through infancy, childhood and even adolescence.

but even then, eunbi was nonchalant and carefree about it.

saying that she’s not gonna waste her time being upset over it when she knows her mom doesn’t think about her at all. it makes your heart hurt for eunbi, grateful that the girl at least has a good relationship with her father and boyfriend.

and you, of course. you consider her your best friend and you know she does the same - even if sometimes, you wanna pull her hair out.

“i’m gonna go the food store tomorrow, eunbi, so if you and y/n want anything, just text it to me.”

“oooh can we come!” she squeals, knocking her arm into yours like an excited kid in a candy store. “we wanna try making our cookies again.”

“you’re gonna bake?” the girl’s father asks, a look of doubt on his face that causes you to bite back a smile.

“no, we’re gonna bake,” she corrects with snark, “y/n measures the ingredients and stirs, i put it in the oven and watch.”

“right, silly me,” the man hums, a smirk pulling at his lips the more he sees his daughter get irritated. “but of course you girls can come,” he says, his eyes flicking to you for just a few seconds too long.

you can only look back with a small smile, a quiet “thank you,” leaving your mouth that you’re positive he doesn’t catch.

(he did).

you help clean your plate off before you and eunbi go up to her room later that night, once her door’s closed and she’s sitting down shooting her a look of disdain.

“i know you’re mad, okay, i’m sorry, i really am!” she whines, holding her arms out for you to come over. “i tried to leave but he wouldn’t let me. he just kept wanting to-”

“i don’t need the details you sick freak!” you yelp, going over and plopping down on her bed. “ugh, it was just... so awkward. your mom hates me. she was utterly perturbed that i didn’t switch my major to business.”

“ugh, she’s a crotchety bitch i swear,” eunbi says, falling onto her back and looking at you with sorrow in her eyes. “i’m sorry, i really am. i won’t leave you alone with her again, i promise.”

you quirk an unconvinced eyebrow her way, eyes full of doubt and distrust before she throws herself on you and squeals that, at least, now you can have a scary movie marathon without any interruptions.

it seems you also probably should’ve made her promise last night that you’d never be alone with her father either; it didn’t even occur to you at the time, not thinking that she’d really ditch you two days in a row.

but alas, jiwoon’s car pulled up when all three of you were walking out of the house to the g-wagon for the trip to the food store, her shooting you an apologetic look and whispered condolences in your ear.

“i’m technically not breaking my promise because my dad’s nice,” she mumbled, the feeling in your body more nervous and aroused than it is angry and upset.

but she could’t know that.

“and when i break your head? then what, eunbi?”

“i love you,” she giggles in your ear, the playful tone of your voice letting her know she got off the hook again. “it’ll be fine. my dad’s a good man. he wouldn’t ever talk shit to you the way my mom does.”

little does she know how much you want her dad to talk shit to you.

talk to you in a way that’s casual and playful and teasing, like the hints of it you’ve seen in the car or in eunbi’s room when you were alone last night. you just want him to look at you with the slightest bit of something, even though it’s wrong.

not only because of his wife, no matter how big a bitch she is, but because of-

“do you still wanna come with me?”

seonghwa’s voice pulls you away from your thoughts, looking to the man dressed in a long, black jacket and expensive loafers. he looks far too fancy and delectable for a trip to the grocery store.

eunbi is long gone by now, her giggles and carefree run down the driveway and into her boyfriend’s car leaving you and mr. park alone, with only the blue sky and crisp air as your witness.

him looking you over hopefully, with a twinge of teasing and longing in his gaze.

you looking at him full of nerves and excitement, biting down on your lip as you nod your head timidly.

“s-sure, if that’s okay,” you say, looking from him to his car just a few feet away. “it’d be better than sitting in eunbi’s room again.”

a handsome smile crosses his face as he nods his head, heart pounding and throat constricting as you watch him walk toward the car.

he walks around the front of a smaller, sleek suv, your own eyes watching in confusion until he opens the passenger side door.

you can only stare blankly, head cocked to the side as you really start to wonder if this man is about to make you drive his car costing more than your life.

“are you getting in, y/n?” he asks, an amused smile pulling at his lips - almost like he’s making fun of your nervous, intimidated disposition.

you shake your head of the confusion, cheeks flushing in the cold december air as you do an awkward jog toward the car. you dip in beside him as your body hits the cool leather, craning your neck to shoot him a small, grateful smile.

your faces are closer than you anticipated, breath catching in your throat as his gaze watches you closely.

he doesn’t say a word or move a muscle, taking a few moments for his eyes to roam your face and body before mumbling to buckle up.

you wish you knew how long the drive to the store would be, as it would slightly settle you and the thick, awkward tension in the air. it appears to be enough time for the heat to go on, warm air blowing from the vents before he asks if you want your seat heater on.

“oh, sure, thank you,” you mumble, a smile quirking on his lips as he presses down on the small circular button.

more silence lingers in the air as the trees outside you pass by, the bright winter sun and blue sky not making it feel like christmas is only a few days away.

you can’t remember the last time the holidays have actually felt like it, though,  all the lonely days blending into one and feeling as if they were the same.

maybe this year, because you’re surrounded by eunbi and her family, it’ll feel less lonely. maybe you’ll actually enjoy yourself and find that you’ve missed out when you denied her invitation each and every-

“i’m sorry about my wife last night.”

those are words you don’t expect so they shock you even more, looking at the older man beside you with a wide-eyed, confused gaze. his dark eyes are expressionless and casual on the road, one hand on the wheel while the other rests beside him.

“i... what do you mean?” you ask, knowing damn well you understand his apology - and given the unamused look he throws you, he knows you’re full of shit too.

“i don’t think she means to judge you so harshly,” he begins, his deep, smooth voice full of sympathy and softness. “it’s not her place to question your education or major, so i just want to apologize for her.”

“that’s not necessary, mr. park,” you insist, shaking your head as a small, breathy chuckle leaves you. “and it’s not like i haven’t heard it before.”

because no one is ever too confident in any of the arts being your main source of income or profession; even your own parents, although it really wouldn’t matter what you would have chosen, haven’t been supportive.

and you especially haven’t missed the looks of pity or distaste when you tell people on campus or at parties in the frat house, future business leaders or stem majors looking at you like just said the sky is hot pink.  

“well that’s just ridiculous,” seonghwa says, ripping you from your thoughts so you can roam over his strong, handsome face. “it’s a great field to work in and something you’re passionate about. that’s what matters most.”

he can tell by the way your cheeks flush that you’re slightly embarrassed and he can’t help but find it endearing, licking over his lips as his mind begins to wander.

wonder about what other parts of you could flush so easily or what else he could say to really make the pinkness deepen.

“i guess,” you mutter, shrugging your shoulders as you look at the passing oak trees and mansions.

“and... what you said last night about traveling to build my portfolio,” you begin, shocked by the words continuing to leave your mouth. “that’s something i’ve thought about doing. i think it’d be really fun, regardless if i did wedding photographer or not.”

“yeah?” he asks, the smile on his face causing your head to jump. “i think that’d be good, too. where would you wanna go first?”

your lips purse to the side as you think it over, a love for traveling anywhere you could but having an especially strong pull toward the tropics.

“cancun or the maldives,” you answer, the financial aspect of the trip leaving it most likely impossible for you. “it’ll probably never happen, because i’d have to sell my first born, but i’ve always wanted to go somewhere like that. somewhere tropical and fun.”

seonghwa bites his tongue about his multiple trips there, instead letting out a chuckle that causes butterflies to erupt. his eyes are too drawn to your body in the front seat, legs crossed and arms over your lap politely.

“you never know,” he hums, ripping his gaze away before you catch his gawking. “you might get there one day, after being the best wedding photographer the city has to offer.”

“oh, please,” you glggle out, cheeks flushing despite the absurdity of the comment.

you catch the smile that creeps on his face, the same handsome, carefree smile you saw in the car last time.

you try not to let it get to you, let your brain convince you that maybe he likes hanging out with you alone as much as you like it too.

“i’m serious,” he says, the earnest tone of his voice slipping into dad mode in a way he doesn’t even realize. “your parents must be proud.”

you bite down on your lip as you let out a soft, almost scornful, chuckle, a quietly mumbled “yeah,” leaving your mouth that causes his eyebrows to pull together.

he always thought it was a little suspicious that in the four years eunbi has known you, she’s never told him about your parents; as far as he knows, she’s never even seen them.

“she has her scholarship and stuff so she doesn’t really need them,” his daughter said one day, the two of them discussing why you were spending yet another break alone in the apartment.

“but they don’t want her home for the holidays? you told her she was welcomed, right?”

“ugh, about a thousand times,” his daughter groans in the seat, throwing herself against the window dramatically. “i basically begged her, dad, but she said she didn’t wanna intrude. i’m telling you it’s because mom is the biggest fucking-”

“eunbi...”

“you know it’s true!” she squeals, seonghwa biting his tongue in an effort to be the bigger and better parent. “i don’t even know why you guys got married.”

but that’s what happens with teen pregnancies and rich families. how they were destined to marry anyway, due to their parents companies and stupid business politics.

it was one drunken night at his dad’s company party and a broken condom that sealed his fate with finality - made him go from a single, carefree high school student to a married businessman with a child just two short years later.

his wife was good at one point he likes to think, remembering she was gorgeous and sassy and not like the other girls who would drop to their knees for him.

but marriage and a child and just life quickly caught up with them, already trapped in a loveless, pointless marriage by the time he hit 25.

he’d be lying if he said he didn’t stay for eunbi, that they both didn’t stay for eunbi throughout her childhood and now just grew too used to being an unhappy married couple who live separate lives.  

there was never any reason for them to divorce though, no one serious in his or his wife’s lives and the hassle of money and disputing houses and cars and assets far too draining.

“i don’t believe i’ve ever met them,” seonghwa says, pulling into the store parking lot to see it’s less crowded than he suspected it’d be. “what do they do?”

you couldn’t imagine anything more unbearable than disclosing to your friend’s hot dad who you may or may not have feelings for about the messed up relationship with your parents.

it just screams daddy issues, which might say a lot about your very attraction to him in the first place.

“they run a little restaurant back in my home town. it’s about three hours from campus, which is why i don’t really go home for breaks.”

seonghwa hums lowly, nodding his head as he looks at you at a stop sign.

you’re unnerved by the way his eyes roam you, like he can see signs of you being uncomfortable about your parents and wants to know why - but why would he care? you’re only his daughter’s roommate.

“do you miss seeing them?”

you lick over your lips nervously, watching as his eyes darken every so slightly.

he watches each and every of your movements carefully, so in tune with your reactions and breaths you can just feel yourself getting more and more worked up.

not in the slightest, you wanna say. i’ll probably never see them again and have no qualms about it, mr. park.

“i suppose,” you mutter, shrugging your shoulders as you apprehensively meet his gaze.

“you suppose?” he asks, concern etched on his face. “when was the time you’ve seen them? since your freshmen year?”

you avert your gaze as your teeth sink into your bottom lip, in no way wanting to have this discussion at ten a.m. when, much to your pleasure, an impatient car behind beeps at seonghwa’s mercedes.

his dark eyes move to the rearview mirror, narrowed and irritated in a way you can’t help but think is sexy, before he puts his foot off the break and turns into the parking lot.

“i think this person’s leaving,” you mutter when you notice another car go in reverse, seonghwa snatching the spot before the impatient, crotchety lady behind him could steal it.

you can’t help but smirk as seonghwa eyes her when you get out of the car, giving him a look that’s half judgmental and half amused.

“what? she beeped at me.”

“aren’t you supposed to be, like, an adult?”

he rolls his eyes as he takes a cart from the pile, nodding his head for you to go in front and “stop talking back to an elder.”

you can’t help but smirk at his playfulness, taking your spot in the front and pretending as if you always move your hips this much when you walk casually; you would’ve felt embarrassed, had you not turned around a few moments later to see his eyes already on you.

“where to first, mr. park?”

he has to bite back the groan threatening to leave his mouth, reminding himself to keep himself in check this month - starting tomorrow.

“depends, y/n,” he hums, voice far too deep and sultry to be surrounded by innocent bystanders in the grocery store. “what do you want?”

words are caught in your throat and you can only stare dumbly, your plan quickly back firing as he appears to do the same - but it’s gotta be in your head, right?

regardless, it quickly humbles you in the form of a small, unsure shrug.

it’s how you two start walking up and down the aisles, seonghwa putting in what he remembers and items on his mental list while also insisting you put in anything you want.

your arms bump ever so often, softly apologizing and acknowledging it the first few times before you both realize it may be happening on purpose.

you stick close to him when the aisles get tight and crowded, his deep voice telling you to “go ahead,” causing you to swallow shakily. you feel the presence of his hand just a few inches from your hips, lingering and hovering but never fully touching.

it’s finally when you’re in the bread aisle, seonghwa a few feet away talking to the man at the bakery counter, that you decide to put something in the cart.

you would usually never accept someone’s offer to buy you something, already feeling bad about staying with them rent free and eating their meals without compensating.

but the brioche loaf brand is one of your favorites, only sold on occasion at the corner store near campus.

you press up on your tippy toes to grab the bag of bread, stretching your arm up with all your might. the plastic slips through your fingers just as you’re about to snatch it down, letting out an annoyed huff as you pulled down your sweater dress.

you mumble your annoyances before trying again, back on the tips of your toes with your arm raising when you feel a hand on the small of your back.

it’s large and warm and seeping through the thin material of your burgundy dress, a snappy protest about to leave your mouth when you catch mr. park’s face in your peripheral.

there’s a content look on his face as he takes the bag with ease, holding it above your head as his hand moves from your back to your waist with a gentle touch.

you look at him with wide eyes and a pounding heart, his hand on your waist so foreign and strange but... good. something you didn’t even realize you’d been craving until it happened.

the strength and warmth of his hand, though if you think about it just enough, you can feel the weight of his wedding band through the fabric.

“is this what you wanted?”

his voice is deep and low as he speaks to you and you alone, your eyes raising to see him staring down at you. you can’t make out the expression in them, just the darkness in his eyes and the frantic beating of your heart.

you can’t even being to understand the context of his words right now because, yes, this is exactly what you’ve wanted - but he doesn’t know that, right?

“w-what?”

he can’t help the smirk that crosses his face, all sorts of pride and satisfaction and arousal coursing through his veins at your current disposition.

“the bread,” he says, stepping back and holding it out to you. “is this the one you wanted?”

your eyes narrow as you look at him, the smirk on his face, the amusement in his gaze, the playfulness that’s radiating off him - is he fucking with you?

“oh... i... yes,” you finally say, coming to your senses and not allowing yourself to think this way anymore. “that’s the one. i hope it’s okay.”

“of course,” he hums, placing the bread in the cart before going back to the front handles. “you can get anything you want, i already told you that.”

you nod dumbly as you follow beside him, seonghwa picking more things off the shelves and muttering the list to himself as you try to get your shit together.

because yes, you’re attracted to him and yes, you’ve found yourself alone with him for more than two days in a row and yes, there’s been some lingering looks and touches but that doesn’t mean anything.

you can’t let your own deluded thoughts and desires get in the way of reality.

the reality that he’s your friend and roommate’s married father and you’re a college student. he doesn’t want you just as much as you shouldn’t want him so what’s the problem here?

maybe it’s that you’re a 22-year-old woman who’s only been on a handful of dates.

that the last time you made out with someone was when you were drunk and dared to kiss the first guy that walked through the bar (luckily, somewhat attractive and surprisingly polite).

that, maybe, you’re so horribly touch-starved and aching for affection, you’re trying to find it in a hot father figure who’s just as kind as he sexy - and that, you think, is the second most tragic thing here.

because the first would absolutely be thinking that any of this, any of these stares or touches or coincidences of eunbi leaving you two alone, means something.

means that maybe this break is for you two is create an attraction and build some sort of bond and-

“y/n.”

you’re barely able to register seonghwa’s voice before his arm is wrapped around your waist, pulling your body into his taller one and having you pressed up right against him.

you were so lost in thought of him that you didn’t see the older women skirting her cart around the aisle quickly, phone pressed to her ear as she yells to her husband about the christmas ham.

you’re not even sure if she shoots you a look of sorrow or utters any apology, too consumed and distracted by the feeling and proximity of mr. park.

his arm wrapped around you, your body pressed flush up against him, his neck craned down to look at you with a building... something in his eyes. playfulness and teasing but also something darker, something that makes your stomach swoop and renders you unable to move.

“are you always so clumsy and distracted?” he mumbles lowly, his deep voice quiet for only you two to hear - like he knows even in a sea of strangers, he has to keep these interactions quiet.

“what would you do if i wasn’t here to help you, y/n?”

i wouldn’t have been distracted in the first place, you’re tempted to say - but you certainly don’t wanna open that can of worms, especially not in the middle of this grocery store with the way your heart is pounding.

“i... i’m sorry, i was distracted,” you mutter, playing up the damsel in distress just a little bit. “my mistake, mr. park.”

he licks over his lips, swearing his name just being spoken has never effected him like this. he doesn’t even know where this attraction came from, seeing you leave the dorm building yesterday morning and something in his body jumping at the sight of you.

maybe it’s just showing how unhappy he really is with his life, living day to day to just work. hang out with his friends and go to sleep alone - he doesn’t remember the last time his wife touched him, looked at him like she wanted him or made any move to be with him.

he just knows that you showed up, looking so pretty and wide-eyed and coy, and is now about to lose his mind.

“it’s alright,” he says, hoping you don’t hear the thick tension he hears in his own voice, like he’s some idiotic, hormonal young boy. “i think we only have a few more aisles left, anyway.”

he plucks the remaining items off the shelves before you both make your way to the self check-out, him scanning and you bagging because “eunbi says if my career as a photographer fails, i could be the best grocery bagger ever.”

“that’s just because she puts the bread on the bottom,” seonghwa mutters, a smile on your face as you nod your head - she squished one too many of your brioche loafs before you realized bagging just wasn’t for her.

your fingers graze ever so often, the coldness of his tips a stark contrast to your warmer ones.

a particularly big, bulk bag of vegetables proves to be a challenge for you, working through the packed bag with some difficulty. you let out an annoyed groan as you play a dangerous game of tetris, trying not to rip open the brown paper bag.

you finally get the box inside, a little bit prouder than you care to admit, when your precious brioche loaf is dropped right atop. you look up at seonghwa to see him already apologizing, your brow raised as you look at the older man in confusion.

did he think your hand was out? why would he just throw the food at you?

but it’s only when you feel a little more air than normal on your chest that you see what could’ve possibly caused the distraction, the white lace from your bra sticking out.

your cleavage in this dress was hidden for the most part, only becoming a little more obvious when you moved around or packed a shitload of groceries. it makes you bite back a smirk as you put two and two together, looking up to see his eyes still lingering over you.

two can play at this game mr. park.

“mr. park,” you begin, feigning a certain kind of innocence as you place your bread atop the other groceries and finally look up at him. “are you always so clumsy?”

it takes a few seconds for a smile to pull at his lips, the tick in his jaw not going unnoticed to you - so maybe this wasn’t all in your head. maybe he wants you too... possibly.

“you’re funny, y/n,” he mumbles, a smile pulling at your lips as he takes out his black card. “i guess i was distracted, too.”

you swallow the lump in your throat as you feel the slightest hint of arousal run through you, shaking it off and letting out a forced, girlish chuckle.

you pack the car a few minutes later without any lingering eyes or touches, seonghwa telling you about the meals they plan on cooking for christmas.

they usually don’t make their own food for holidays but decided to have a more traditional set up for you and eunbi’s arrival - he also hasn’t cooked a meal for his family in god knows how long.

“that’ll be great, thank you,” you tell him, clicking your seatbelt in as he backs out the spot. “i’m kind of a picky eater but i’ll eat anything you guys provide me.”

“and you have the whole brioche loaf,” seonghwa says, a giggle leaving your mouth as you nod your head.

“true. it’s really good.”

“i’ve never tried, perhaps you’d be willing to-”

his wife’s name popping up on his car dashboard acts as a way to bring you back to reality, brings a certain kind of silence over the both of you for a few seconds.

like he wasn’t just rubbing his body against yours and you weren’t just flirting with him in the form of smirking lips and snarky comments.

you watch a twinge of annoyance behind seonghwa’s eyes, gaze roaming over the screen as if he’s in contemplation before muttering “one second.”

“hello?”

“where are you?” her voice snaps in annoyance, “i told you we had that board meeting at one.”

“and it’s only noon,” his deep voice mumbles, not matching her level of irritation but sounding a whole lot different than a few seconds ago. “me and y/n are coming back now.”

“y/n?” she spats, like it’s a disgusting piece of food she wouldn’t dare put in her mouth. “what about eunbi?”

“she went off with jiwoon before i could get her in the car.”

“so it was only you two?” she asks, the snide judgment and underlying tone in her voice causing your stomach to churn. “did she ask you to buy a bunch of-”

“i’ll be home in twenty and then be on my way over,” he says, cutting her off and hanging up before she can even get another word you.

your stomach churns and a sick feeling comes over you, her utter dislike and disdain for you causing you to bite your lip.

because not only does she not like you to be with her daughter, she doesn’t want you with her husband (although, you suppose, you can’t really blame her for that one).

“i’m sorry about that,” seonghwa winces, the silence lingering between you two heavy. “you could’ve gotten anything you wanted, y/n. this is your christmas too. don’t feel bad about anything, okay?”

you swallow the lump in your throat, your gaze moving to his as he stops at the red light.

your eyes lingering over his and his doing the very same, hand twitching to reach out and move the piece of hair from your slightly flushed face.

and there was something about the way you were both looking at each other, eyes so focused and unwavering and honest, that had you thinking maybe all of this wasn’t in your heads.

but it didn’t mean either of you could act on it - they were just... feelings of lust and wonder and all things forbidden, not seriously believing that a relationship like this could unfold right under the nose of his wife, his daughter and your roommate.

unless the pull was so desperate.

so overwhelming and all-consuming and present between the both of you, little moments couldn’t help but happen.

strike one:

with none other than eunbi as a distraction, the girl promising she wasn’t gonna leave you alone anymore, you were able to take your mind off everything.

the tension-filled, heart pounding moments with mr. park that felt just as wrong as they did right.

you spent a few nights going out with her, jiwoon and all of their high school friends, a surprisingly nice group of young adults who you got along well with.

they were loud and crazy and did far too many shots but they also seemed to be genuinely kind. even the boy who was flirting with you all night, handsome and tall with pretty dark eyes, acted as a good distraction.

grinding up against him as the music pounded throughout the bar, alcohol coursing through your veins allowing you to forget about the older man who’s been living in your head for almost a week now.

“how have i never met you before, y/n?” the boy mumbled lowly in your ear, your head against his shoulder carelessly.

but it was right there in that moment, him saying your name, that the moment was over.

because it just didn’t sound like seonghwa, as delusional as that was.

it didn’t get your heart racing or lips quirking the same way it did when you heard the older man say it. the smile attached to his handsome, mature face and the deep, lowly spoken tone that always held a hint of teasing and sincerity.

“but danny really is so freakin’ nice!” eunbi squeals to you on christmas eve, the two of you in her immaculately white and modern kitchen prepping the chocolate chip cookie cough for tomorrow.

“and you two seemed to be getting along, i saw your ass all up on him.”

“eunbi, that wasn’t me. that was the vodka. i don’t know who that girl was.”

she throws her head back as a loud chuckle leaves her, telling you again that she warned you her snobby, rich little friends have been able to handle their liquor since middle school.

it’s how they cope, she had said, unloved kids with more money than god learning to deal with the world of limitless funds and minimal parental supervision.

“well he hasn’t stopped asking me about you, you know,” she hums, her eyebrows quirked suggestively as she mixes the bowl of ingredients lazily.

“and not just because of your newfound grinding skills, which by the way, are usually learned by the tenth grade.”

your eyes narrow at her comment, throwing a small ball of dough at her that she, impressively, catches in her mouth.

“he really is just, like, so taken by you, y/n. seriously. i told him that you’re graduating this year with a degree in photography and he nearly came in his pants. he loves the artsy girls.”

“you are so vile,” you snort out, shaking your head at the girl sitting criss-crossed on the counter. “and stop saying that. we both know i’m not graduating this year,” you mumble, her face falling pathetically.

“i told you we’re gonna find a way,” she whines lowly, looking at you with all kinds of sympathy and sadness in her eyes - she would offer to pay for you, if she didn’t think you would smack her upside the head.

“oh and what? is my new boyfriend danny gonna do that for me?”

“in exchange for more grinding and a photoshoot, i think. do you want me to try?”

she lets out another giggle despite the way you pinch her leg, peeking inside the bowl with a surprising amount of pride.

"this looks good,” you mumble, swiping your finger to collect some of the chocolate dough.

“hey!” she whines brattily, thrusting a spoon toward your hand just a second too late.  

“why are you whining in here like a child, eunbi?” seonghwa asks, walking through the entryway and the large, white island in the center. “what are you making? please don’t burn the house down.”

“haha dad, you’re so funny,” she mocks sarcastically, jumping down from the counter with her hands on her hips. “where are the baking sheets?”

a simple shrug from her father causes her to roll her eyes, grumbling about how she was really trying to avoid her bitch of a mother today. he holds back his smirk, about to reprimand her before she’s out the kitchen and shouting for her mother upstairs.

it’s only you and seonghwa in the kitchen now, a heavy silence in the air as you stand there dumbly - bowl beside you, cookie dough adorning the top of your finger.

“what are you girls making?” he finally asks, his body moving closer and closer causing you to swallow.

“i... uh, cookie dough. for tomorrow,” you say, lifting your finger and wiggling the tip full of batter. “chocolate chip.”

his eyes move to your finger before grazing over your mouth, his tongue peeking out ever so slightly as he reminds himself to act right.

he hasn’t been alone with you since that day at the food store, just seeing you in passing in the hallways or outside the house as you and eunbi went to and fro.

he hears your giggles at night and tired groans in the morning, quietly yelling at his daughter to wake up and get her ass out of bed.

and he knows it’s probably for the better, that you two don’t find yourselves alone with each other, but he can’t help but feel a rush of excitement right now.

you watch as he moves closer, with the same wide-eyed look you’ve been giving him since he first saw you in your apartment weeks ago.

“ahh, you’re making it from scratch? that’s ambitious.”

“yeah, we googled a recipe,” you tell him, finger still beside you in the air.

you don’t know what causes you to be so bold, maybe him attempting to carry out a normal conversation even though he’s looking at you with so much lust and desire, but you can’t stop once you start.

“how’s it taste?” he asks, his voice deep and slightly strained as he nods his head toward your finger.

you don’t even bat an eye as you slip the tip of your finger in your mouth slowly, swirling your tongue around as you take up all the dough on your skin.

it’s sweeter than you originally thought it’d be but it tastes good nonetheless, keeping your eyes on him as you reamin as innocent and unassuming as possible.

“it’s good,” you say, dropping your finger like you didn’t just make a show of licking and sucking it. “i like it better raw.”

you don’t even realize your words until you see the fleeting look on his face, tongue swiping across his lip and eyes hardening. they roam you so slowly and darkly, you can’t control the growing butterflies and swooping in your lower stomach.

“mm, me too,” he hums lowly, the hardening of his cock in his pants something he hasn’t felt in forever. it’s taking everything in him to control himself, from his eyes popping out of his head to letting out the deepest of growls in the back of his throat.

“do you want some?” you ask, cocking your head to the side questioningly.

he has to desperately hold on to his composure, not think about how easy it’d be to pin you against the cabinet right behind you. take just a few steps closer, have your back against the cold granite and let you feel just how much he wants some.

but he has to play it cool, push down these building desires and ignore your teasing because he’s almost fucking positive that’s what’s happening here.

“want some what?” he asks, his voice lowering just a tad.

he hasn’t played a game like this since college, watching as your eyes widen and brow quirks up.

but he sees that’s exactly what it is when you turn around and face the bowl of cookie dough to him, a smile just as sweet as the cookies on your face.

“cookie dough. before we put them in the oven and possibly burn them.”

the breathy chuckle he lets out leaves your stomach in shambles, his tongue peeking out and poking the inside of his cheek causing a swooping sensation to flood through you.

but before he can even think to say anything, before your eyes can look over his body and make you feel even more warm and bothered, eunbi floats back in and fiddles in the cabinets for the baking sheets.

“that woman is too much, i swear,” she grunts, whipping out the materials quickly before her head snaps to her father. “why are you still here?”

“i wanted some cookies. and to ensure y/n won’t allow you do burn down the kitchen.”

“it was one time, dad, and an accident. how many times do i have to defend myself in this house?”

you let out a giggle as you look from eunbi to seonghwa, your roommate turning her back to set up the practice baking session.

“let’s go bitch! i hope we didn’t fuck this up.”

seonghwa’s eyes roam over you for a few more moments, his tongue swiping across his lips before, finally, leaving the kitchen with his dick hard as a rock.

strike two:

christmas consisted of successful cookies per your and eunbi’s homemade batch, passive aggressive comments from mrs. park about your degree and a whole fuck ton of sexual energy between you and seonghwa.

you could almost always feel when his gaze was boring into you, when you got up to take more mashed potatoes or kept your attention on eunbi as she told her parents about what job she wants to start at next semester.  

it’s also when eunbi almost let it slip about your scholarships, had you not viciously pinched her arm and caused a pained cry to leave her mouth - if you ever thought jiwoon was gonna verbally assault you, it was certainly in that moment.

“why did you pinch me so hard?” she whined later that night, jiwoon passed out on the couch after five too many homemade cookies. “look at my bruise.”

a genuine frown crosses your lips as you look at her arm, rubbing her skin gently as you mumble your soft spoken apologies.

“i’m sorry but i just... i didn’t want your mom to know that,” you say back just as whiney and pathetic. “she already thinks i’m an incompetent idiot. knowing i have to wait a whole year because i’m broke is just too embarrassing.”

it’s an admission that, while eunbi already suspected that, still makes her feel bad - it nearly makes her wanna cry, that you don’t feel welcomed and loved in her home because her mom has to be a judgmental bitch.

“y/n...”

“bi, it’s fine, oh, my god do not cry right now,” you grumble, flicking her in the head lightly.

“i just feel bad,” she cries lowly, moving hrself closer to you and away from her boyfried. “it’s not fair, y/n. you worked so hard and now you have to wait. how could they do this to you?”

a small, touched smile crosses your face at eunbi as you shake your head, dabbing at her watery eyes.

if jiwoon wakes up, he’s literally gonna beat my ass,” you say, smiling when a wet giggle leaves eunbi; you don’t want this time to be sad or upsetting. “i thought he was gonna hit me at dinner.”

“okay if he’s hitting anything, it’s gonna be my-”

“no. no, no, no.”

the snort that leaves her mouth doesn’t help the sinking feeling in her stomach, looking at you with a frown still adorning her face.

“i’m sorry if my mom’s making you feel uncomfortable. she does it to every single person ever and i don’t-”

“it’s fine, please stop apologizing for her,” you say, the sinking reminder in the back of your mind that seonghwa had been doing the very same thing - apologizing for that woman.

“i know she’s stressing you out, too. we’re in it together.”

“that’s true,” she sighs, letting out a long, dramatic groan before resting her head on your shoulder. “i’m so bloated, i don’t think i’m ever gonna be able to eat again.”

and it was funny that, days after the holiday, eunbi was still convinced that she was bloated from christmas dinner.

“babe, i don’t even think that’s possible,” jiwoon consoled her, you and him sitting in her room as she gets ready to go down to the pool.

because, naturally, like everyone in this godforsaken rich town, they get ready to go to the pool that’s inside of their homes; when eunbi told you to pack a bathing suit back at your apartment, you looked at her like she was insane.

until she clarified that her pool is heated and, conveniently, indoors.

“just through the backyard,” she had said - and she truly meant it.

just a few yards away from the main deck area, with floor to ceiling glass windows that showcase the extravagant landscaping and, of course, the outdoor pool and jacuzzi just a few feet away.

“eunbi, this is insane,” you say, marveling at the sight before you.

“don’t you wish you came sooner?” she asks with a wink, your eyes rolling as you place down your towel.

you had the option to bring two bathing suits - a skimpy black one you don’t remember being so scandalous or a red one you remember eunbi insisting you buy last summer.

and you just knew it was because danny was coming, currently showcasing his impressive eight pack that, truly, just doesn’t do it for you - maybe if he was twenty years older, apparently, and somebody’s father and husband.

you shake the thoughts out of your head, walking a few steps toward the pool before eunbi tackles you from behind. you both land with a loud splash, followed by the excited shouts and loud splashes of her other friends.

you’d be lying if you said you could remember the last time you had this much fun, splashing and giggling and acting so carefree despite the many challenges you’ll have to face soon.

but that’s not any of your concern right now, currently sitting atop danny’s shoulders and trying to knock down eunbi in a game of chicken.

“you little bitch! get your nails out of me!”

“coming from the girl who literally just tried to choke me two seconds ago!”

“like it’s your first time being choked!”

and you don’t know whether jiwoon was shocked by you saying that statement or the fact that his girlfriend exposes all of her sexual kinks to you but alas, it did the trick in sealing you a victory.

a smug smile on your face as danny jumps up and down in excitement, your body bouncing and nearly falling over him had you not gripped onto his shoulders.

it’s at that time eunbi pops up from the water, hair a soaking mess and mascara running down her face. she’s about to open her mouth, probably to yell at you, before a volleyball is thrown through the air and just misses her face.

instead, it hits danny square in the head. the boy letting out a yelp before you promptly fall backwards in the water, hearing eunbi’s shrill squeal and giggle on your way down.

you pop up and throw her a dirty look, danny rubbing at the back of his side before apologizing profusely.

“it’s okay,” you giggle out, about to say you shouldn’t have been up there for so long before eunbi’s squealing in the air.

“dad, what the hell kind of aim was that!”

you feel your body stiffen before you quickly shoot around, none another than mr. park standing there looking as handsome as ever.

he puts the young men around you to shame, good-looking, muscular college boys who anyone in their right mind would find attractive - but they just don’t beat him.

his striking eyes or tall, lean stature or the fact that he’s just so fucking-

“got worse with age, bi, what can i say?” he chuckles, extra white fluffy towels in his hold that he places on the chair. “sorry, danny.”

seonghwa’s known danny for a few years now, one of jiwoon’s friends who seems... alright. not a bad guy but also not a good guy - just kind of there; but it didn’t occur to the man just how much he was bothered by him until he saw you on his shoulders.

because he could’ve put you in danger, of course. put you in danger at his house where if things got bad, he’d be responsible; as for the ball, it merely slipped from his finger tips.

“no problem mr. park,” the kid smiles, the other friends gathering around and looking at him expectantly. “we’re gonna play a round of volleyball. you in?”

“no. no dads allowed,” eunbi whines, seonghwa rolling his eyes at his bratty adult daughter.

“why not? because i’m better than all of you, eunbi?”

“oh please,” she grumbles lowly, rolling her eyes and grabbing you to lead you toward the stairs. “you know what, we’re going in the hot tub anyway. since she decided to rock my shit in chicken. enjoy my father traitors,” eunbi grumbles to jiwoon and his friends.

“i did not,” you protest weakly, feeling two pairs of eyes on you as you make your way out of the pool with your friend.

the first thing that strikes seonghwa, apart from the major twitch in his pants, is how skimpy your bikini is.

red bottoms with thin straps holding it up, a matching red top showcasing cleavage and beauty marks on your chest and all the things that are proving to drive him fucking crazy upon seeing you every day.

it’s taking everything in him to control the growing ache in his shorts, your eyes looking at him so coyly and attentively that you’re ignoring the college boy gawking at you right in front of him.

there’s a certain sort of twisted pride in his chest, you giving him attention and seemingly reciprocating his interest, when there’s someone younger right there for you.

younger and unmarried and more suitable for you. someone you can actually be with where it wouldn’t be considered dirty or wrong or secretive; but maybe that’s why you’re both drawn to it in the first place.

that, and because you’re both really hot.

“he’s literally hot, y/n! why don’t you like him?” eunbi whines to you, the two of you sitting across from one another in the hot tub outside.

the december air is crisp but feels nice comapred to the steaming water you’re gratefully submerged in. anything to take you away from mr. park shirtless and wet in the pool right now.

“i do like him, bi,” you mutter, trying your best to convince her and now seem suspicious.

“okay, yeah, as a person but who cares about that!” she whines, flopping her hands dramatically in the water. “you don’t want him to rail you.”

“eunbi!” you squeak, splashing in her direction as a warm, embarrassed blush rises to your cheeks.

“i’m serious y/n. you’ve never been railed before and danny’s such a good option. he’s hot and he’s sweet and he’s so pathetically into you, it’s a little sick.”

you don’t know what to say so you don’t say anything, shooting her a look that screams can we please not talk about this because you don’t know how much i actually wanna be railed by your father so let’s stop this discussion.

but she only rolls her eyes, moving herself closer to you so she can tug at your arm annoyingly.

“is he just not your type?” she questions, her eyebrows pulling together in confusion for a few moments before utter shock crosses her face.

“wait, what is your type? it’s... men, right? have i been hooking you up with the wrong gender this whole time?” she asks in disbelief, “could we have been hooking up this whole time?”

you press your lips together so you don’t burst out laughing, dryly replying “yes, eunbi, i’m into men.”

but the more you think about it, the more you think maybe you don’t have a type.

“and i’ve... never really thought about it before, to be honest. i just know i’m not into like... frat guys or whatever.”

because any party you’d been to, any douchey college guy wearing a backwards hat or cut off shirt, you had never been more disinterested. you couldn’t ever picture yourself falling for someone like that, romantically or sexually.

the one time you remember thinking someone was hot was when you took film and lit with your 31-year-old professor.

“so older guys?” eunbi concludes after hearing that, a smirk on her face as she raises her eyebrows playfully. “we gotta scope out some golf courses or retirement homes?”

“please,” you scoff, a giggle leaving her mouth as she throws her head back gleefully.

“okay, really though, i’ll tell danny you’re not interested and to stop trying so hard if you’re really not interested.”

but maybe danny as a distraction will be good.

will make you see that, perhaps, someone single and your own age and not your best friend’s father will be good thing for you to explore.

so you shrug lightheartedly, the smirk on your face causing eunbi to let out a low “oooh shit.”

you look over at her and your smile only widens when she knocks your shoulder, saying that you’re looking to be a play girl and drain a rich, lovesick man of some christmas presents.

“yeah, right! why drain a rich man when i can drain my best friend,” you tease, looking around her yard and still in astonishment that this is really her life. “i mean, two pools? is that really necessary?”

“three actually. there’s one behind the guest house on the other side. a small one. very humble.”

“oh, a small one, okay. great.”

she lets out another giggle, the two of you talking over plans for new years eve.

you might go up to jiwoon’s parents house in the mountains for the weekend, spend the time drinking with the small group of friends you’ve come to genuinely like over these past few weeks.

“it’s only two hours away so it won’t be that bad either,” she says, getting up to shake the hot water off her arms. “i’ll be right back, i have to pee.”

you nod your head, grateful she didn’t piss in the pool and allowing yourself to sit there, eyes closed, body relaxed, in the silence.

you can hear the faint screams of the boys from the indoor pool area and the swish of the hot tub filter, peeking open your eyes when, suddenly, you think you hear a boom of thunder in the distance.

you watch the sky darkening and clouds coming in, signaling a storm is coming in soon and quick. a sigh leaves your mouth, enjoying your last few moments of peace before finally standing in the hot tub.

the crisp winter air blows and sends goosebumps up your arms, a shiver running through your body as you attempt to splash some hot water on your upper body.

you don’t know how you know someone’s watching you but you do, some sort of strange intuition within you looking up to see none other than mr. park standing a few feet away from the hot tub.

his dark hair is wet and hanging in his face, swimming trunks soaked and his exposed chest still dripping chlorine water.

you press your lips together as your eyes roam his chest, a hint of abs on his lean stomach that causes a small, strangled groan to leave your mouth - you will never understand how this man is pushing 40.

but the same way you’re looking at him, he’s looking at you.

water covering your body, currently hunched over trying to warm the rest of your body; but it’s when you stand he really starts to gawk, your figure standing full and tall and giving him a perfect view of your hardening nipples from the cold crisp air.

you can see the lust in his eyes the same way you know he can and you’re about to do something to just make him crack. mistakingly untie your bottoms, catching them at the last second so he thinks he’s about to get a peak.

or undo the back of your top and pout at him, ask him to please tie it back for you because it’s way too hard to reach behind and do it yourself.

or maybe you’ll just drop to your knees right there, try to see if there’s any hint of a bulge in his swimming trunk bottoms and-

his body is gone just as fast as he arrived, confusion covering your face before you shake your head of your perverted thoughts - dropping to your knees when his daughter and wife are right here, what the fuck is wrong with you today?

you blame eunbi, all her talk about getting railed when you’ve been wanting to jump her father’s bones.

you carefully make your way out of the hot tub, not wanting to eat shit and scarp your leg on the concrete.

it feels like you’re about to freeze in the cold, another shiver wracking your body before you turn to stick your cold, goosebump-ridden arms back in the hot tub. it warms you for just a few seconds, a low, satisfied hum leaving your mouth before you hear footsteps coming up from behind you.

something in you tells you it’s him again.

whether it be the way your body heats up and feels prickly, the obvious feeling of eyes burning into your exposed back causing you to remain still and oblivious.

but you can longer remain oblivious a few seconds later, when a tall body is just a few inches away from completely pressing against you.

“you forgot a towel,” is all he says, placing it on the wet rim of the hot tub.

when he leans forward to place the white towel down, he’s careful and meticulous with his movements. brushing up against you every so slightly and carefully that you can feel his hard bulge on your ass for a few seconds too long.

at first you think you’re crazy, feeling what you were trying to envision in your head, but then you absolutely know it there’s.

you can feel the wetness from his bathing suit on your legs, his cock right there resting on the thin, red fabric of your bikini bottoms and if you were as weak as you felt inside, if he stayed there just a little bit longer, a moan would’ve absolutely left your mouth.

if you pushed back just a little to feel more of his cock on you, grind your ass his hardness just enough to hear him let out a low groan or maybe curse a little.

but he moves away, almost like he knew the perfect amount of time before that happened and almost like he did it by accident - but when you turn around and see the look in his eyes, you know it wasn’t.

the same way he can see a palpable desire and surprise and tension in your gaze, causing him to suppress a growing smirk. it makes you wanna tease him back in whatever way you can but you know that eunbi’s due back from the bathroom at any moment.

so you only cock your head to the side, lick over your lower lip carefully as you grasp the towel in your hands gently.

“thank you, mr. park,” you say, your voice as airy and sweet as you can possibly make it without sounding like an idiot.

“you’re welcome, y/n,” he says, taking a few steps back as his eyes lock on you. he stays there for a few moments until he hears the door to the pool house open.

you watch his lustful, dark expression change right then and there, a towel wrapping around his lower body and his face stretching into a happy, father-approved look.

“so you’re good with anything for dinner, y/n?” he asks, his voice loud and clear enough for his approaching daughter to hear. “i know you mentioned you were picky.”

“let’s get pizza!” eunbi screeches through the air, telling seonghwa that everyone’s staying over and they’ll need at least four boxes.

but you can’t even think about pizza right now, not when this moment right here is solidifying the crazy thought in your head that your best friend’s dad wants you just as much as you want him.

you called him out later that night around one a.m., after eunbi and jiwoon were the last to pass out to your scary movie marathon.

the others were sprawled out on the basement floor, an intricate array of blankets and pillows on the floor that you attempted to weave through, both, skillfully and quietly.

there was a dryness in your throat that could only be settled by a cold glass of water, making your way through the house quietly and praying you don’t run into mrs. park.

she’s been just as passive aggressive as she usually is in front of people so you could never imagine being alone with her. wondering what the hell she’d say to you without seonghwa and eunbi as buffers.

you were relieved when the lights were off in the kitchen, padding your way to the fridge to take out a bottle of water. you twist and turn the cap off to gulp down the cold liquid in the refrigerator light, a quiet gasp leaving you as your thirst is quenched.

you briefly consider going up to eunbi’s room to sleep tonight, not sure how you feel about being squished in with eunbi and jiwoon cuddling on the couch, when the light suddenly flicks off.

it causes you to freeze and halt all thoughts, fear running through you for all three seconds before you see seonghwa’s tall, familiar figure pass you. you watch him carefully in the dim light of the fridge, his shirtless chest yet again right in front of your face.

leaned back against the counter across from you, giving you a perfect view of his toned chest and gray sweatpants.

“midnight snack?” he asks, the smirk on his face almost causing you to roll your eyes.

instead, your lips quirk into a small smile. raising your water bottle by your head and shaking it, the water swishing in your pounding ears.

“just water,” you respond quietly, matching his low tone. “i hope that’s okay.”

“that you took water? of course, y/n,” he says, amusement in his gaze as he looks you over.

you’re freshly showered and in a pair of pajamas, matching pink sets that eunbi got you for christmas one year - he remembers because he was with her when she bought it.

a soft smile crosses your face, your back getting cold from the open fridge but not daring to move a muscle. not with him looking at you the way he is and with his body just a few feet away from you.

a silence lingers in the kitchen, you not sure why he’s looking at you and him waiting to see if you say something, before he bites the inside of his cheek.

“i wanted to say sorry about before.”

your eyebrow quirks up, interest so clearly peaked as you cock your head to the side.

“what do you mean?”

a smirk crosses his face as he watches you play dumb, head cocked and eyes wide and everything about you with such mock innocence, he thinks that’s what’s driving him the most crazy.

that you do this shit and say certain things with almost complete unawareness and innocence, if it weren’t for the hidden look of desire and teasing in your eyes.

“you know,” is all he says, his voice dipping and eyes twinging darker, it makes your lower stomach swoop.

a part of is positive, even if you ask, he’s not gonna say it aloud.

he’s not gonna say or acknowledge any of this aloud and make you guys play this game until you leave in a few weeks.

and then when you leave, unsure about your next prospects of college or education or even living arrangements, who knows if you’re ever gonna see him again.

so you only hum lowly, closing the fridge behind you and leaving you both in darkness. the only source of light is from the moon outside, lighting up half the kitchen from the large bay window.

it leaves you both incredibly exposed, anyone from the outside able to see the two seemingly innocent bodies standing toe to toe with each other; but they don’t see the lustful looks and eyes full of desire, both of you so entrapped by the other, it’s obvious with the tension in the air.

“oh, well, then... it’s okay, mr. park,” you say with a smile, taking a step back as your eyes roam his chest one last time. “i didn’t mind.”

you’re about to say goodnight when you see his arm reach out, shocked but oh, so ready ready to give into your desire and feel your body crash against his or your lips connect finally.

moan into his mouth and feel more of his hardness against you - but he only takes the water from your hand, presses his mouth against the plastic rim and swigs down a big gulp.

you watch with wide eyes as his adam’s apple bobs in the moonlight, head tipped back and body perched calmly on the counter as he takes a swig of your water bottle, spit exchanged and his mouth right where yours was.

he pulls back with an unreadable expression, licking the excess water from his lips before simply closing the cap, holding out the bottle and smiling at you with the most wise-ass smirk you’ve ever seen, you’re not sure how you’re ever gonna one up this man.

"sweet dreams, y/n.”

strike 3:

your new years weekend get away turned into an extended stay that consisted of sleeping on a lumpy air mattress, five extra guests and so much alcohol, you’re positive you’re still hungover three days later.

“it wasn’t that... we only did a... i mean it wasn’t like we were....” eunbi says, the two of you laying on her bed nursing headaches and body aches to the severest degree.

“okay, it was pretty bad. we were kind of rowdy and out of control.”

“you don’t say?” you grumble, never one to black out and get that shit faced and then doing it nearly every night - maybe to deal with danny’s pathetic soft looks or whispered sweet nothings to you.

“nothing is working either. not advil or water or greasy food. we might’ve fucked ourselves for life, bi.”

but if there’s one thing that always helped for eunbi, it was a nice, long bath. steaming hot water that burned her skin and the prettiest bath bombs to make the entire bathroom smell of strawberries and cream.

so even though you didn’t want to, nothing more comfortable than eunbi’s king size bed and warm, fluffy comforter, you allowed the girl to drag you to the bathroom down the hall to set up ‘your last resort, hangover paradise.’

it consisted of every type of bath bomb and lotion and bubble bath the luxurious could dream of, sending her out immediately when you saw her sneaking in with a glass of champagne.

“are you crazy?” you ask, dipping your toe in the water to test the temperature. “that’s what started this disaster.”

“fine, more for me!” she squeals happily, turning down the lights and pressing the bluetooth button for your phone’s music. “enjoy. i’ll see you in an hour, completely hangover free.”

“we’ll see about that,” you grumble, your words falling on deaf ears as she locks and closes the door to makes her way back to her ensuite.

and as much as you wanna give eunbi shit for her pompous tactics and techniques for everything in life, you have to say that this is certainly helping.

soaking in the steaming hot water, with cucumbers on your eyes and quiet music playing through the ceiling speakers. the jets in the tub also added another layer of relaxation to it, healing your sore muscles from days of waking up on a hard, wooden floor.

the mirrors were steamed and the room was boiling by the time you got out, stepping on the fuzzy bath mat and drying yourself off with a towel. you had tried not to get your hair wet but it proved useless, your relaxed body sinking further and further down until nearly your whole head was wet.

you stretch your arms above your head as you let out a content groan, feeling the best you’ve felt in three days and ready to take a nap.

but it’s at that moment, looking around the large steaming bathroom, that you realized you didn’t bring a change of clothes in. meaning you’ll know have to walk done the hall and into eunbi’s room in just a towel.

it’s fairly late, almost 11:30, so you’re hoping that her parents are in their rooms and fast asleep by now.

you peak your head out, feeling like a spy in a cheesy action movie as you look up and down the hall. you turn off the light once the coast is clear, walking quietly but quickly down to eunbi’s room - or wing, as it could be considered

you’re almost out of the gate, just a few more steps until you round the corner down eunbi’s hallway, when seonghwa’s tall figure is coming right up the stairs.

his head is down as he looks at his phone, still in his dress shirt and tie from his long day at work. you noticed that after the holidays, he’s been around the house less - working from home when he can but also needing to go into the office more often than not.

he’s at the top of the stairs when he finally notices your figure watching him, wrapped in a towel with a flush on your cheeks and your wet hair dripping on the floor.

it seems to be the thing to break him right now, not able to tear his eyes away or think of any fun, flirty comments to keep you from suppressing the need to roll your eyes.

because his days have been long and stressful and the only thing he needs right now is to just get off - and then there you are like something his prayers have answered, standing there quiet and awestruck at the sight of his loose tie and messy black hair he’s been running his hands through all day.

“h-hi, mr. park,” your quiet voice says, sweet and soft-spoken and utterly apologetic, like you’re embarrassed to be caught in just your towel - and he supposes that would make sense, to feel embarrassed about getting caught like this your friend’s father.

but he can’t find it in himself to care right now, two seconds away from dragging you down to his office so he can finally fuck you over his desk - but he knows that would be the worst decision in the world, for countless reasons.

“hi, y/n,” he grumbles back just as low, leant against the railing with a voice that sounds defeated and gruff.

“are you okay?” you ask, something about his voice and demeanor off.

he has to hold back a strangled laugh, his lips quirking up before he bites down on his lip.

“i’m... i’m fine, thanks. work’s just busy,” he says, a certain part of his chest warming at the fact you even asked - he knows his wife won’t when he walks in their bedroom in a few minutes.

“oh, okay,” you respond, twirling with the end of your towel nervously. “well... i’m sorry to hear that.”

he allows himself to let out a chuckle this time, shaking his head as he looks over your bare, wet face; you’re too pretty for your own good, he’s not even sure you realize just how pretty you are.

just how much he really wants you and just how much he’s coming to like seeing you in his house everyday.

“it’s alright, that’s why you gotta do something you love, right?” he quips, his long fingers up to recreate a camera, pressing down as if to snap a photo.

it cause you to let out a soft, genuine giggle, nodding your head and easing the slight embarrassment of him catching you in a towel.

“right,” you say with a smile, shy smiles and gazes shared until you finally look away in fear of your cheeks warming again.

but it doesn’t stop him from admiring the view of you, your bare face and exposed chest before the towel covers up all the parts he wants to so desperately explore.

he pictures dropping your towel and hearing it fall to the floor with a plop, take in the sight of your perky boobs and hard nipples in the air.

drop his mouth just a little bit to your neck, pressing small kisses against your skin as his fingers knead your nipples, all the quiet moans and breaths to make sure you two don’t get caught shooting right to his cock.

he probably wouldn’t be able to control himself, sliding a finger into you right then and there in the middle of the hallway, pressing your back against the wall to have you trapped against his larger body.

he’d pump his finger in and out of you slowly and tauntingly, hearing how wet you are and feeling how tight you are. it’d be similiar to how this past month has just been both of you taunting and teasing and beating around the bush, occasionally letting his fingers curl to his your g-spot or graze your sensitive clit.

and then he’d drop to his knees to taste you. make sure he sucks and licks and takes your clit in his warm mouth that you’re-

“i should get back to eunbi,” you finally say, breaking the silence and ripping him from his dirty, hidden fantasies. you can’t take the lust and desire in his eyes that you see when he looks at you, an painful ache building between your legs more and more.

“goodnight, mr. park.”

you nearly run into eunbi’s room and slam the door had you not seen her sleeping form, passed out right there in the middle of her bed wearing a baby pink robe.

you look beside her to see an extra one laid out, a silky lilac one that causes a small smile to cross your face.

you’ve never felt material like this on your skin, basking in the feeling of the smooth, silky material as you clean up her room quietly - both to tidy up and distract you from the ache in your legs and last encounter with her father.

for eunbi growing up with housekeepers and nannies her whole life, it always surprised you how clean and tidy your roommate was; the sink was never full of dishes and you alternated vacuuming the living room carpet.

but it’s obvious all of that is a facade because since the moment she got home, her messy ways have shown through - you find it endearing, though, and it’s all very eunbi: a homey, lived in mess of luxurious items and articles of clothing worth more than your childhood home.

the girl in question had moved to the right side in her sleep as you cleaned, a quiet chuckle leaving your mouth. you look to see both your water bottles are empty, deciding on the brave decision to go downstairs to grab two new ones.

the last time you’d done that, you thought for sure mr. park was gonna jump your bones - and you know you were gonna let him.

your mind is littered with memories of that night as you make your way through the dark house of twists and turns, carefully going down the stairs as you walk toward the kitchen.

there’s a room with beautiful double doors on your left, a room you’ve walked past hundreds of times throughout your stay here. eunbi told you it was her dad’s first floor office, where he usually worked and had his meetings from home.

the first thing you notice from down the hall is that the door is slightly cracked open, a peak in from the dimly lit kitchen showcasing some fancy decor of a globe.

as you make your way closer and closer, your ears are met with a quiet, strangled groan that causes you to stop in your tracks; your mind begins to race with a million different scenarios of what you could be walking past right now.

your first thought is that you’re about to see mr. and mrs. park in a very compromising position over his desk - and, as sick as it sounds, as delusional and crazy and absurd as it sounds, that prospect makes your stomach sink and twist painfully.

but that would be normal, you suppose; they’re a fucking married couple after all and seonghwa had seemed stressed from work. obviously he was gonna ask his wife to help calm him down and relax him.

get all of his stress out in the form of-

you shake your head before you can even think about it, forcing your feet to move past the office doors.

and it’s like you can’t even stop yourself from peeking in, confirming to see if your thoughts are correct and you’re about to be gutted, when you take in the sight before you.

seonghwa still in his loose tie and white dress shirt, pants around his ankles and his head thrown back in his office chair as his own hand jerks his cock off.

everything about it is dirty and wrong and you know you shouldn’t be looking in but you can’t stop.

you can’t stop watching the way his hand works around his cock expertly, long and thick and so fucking nice it nearly makes you drool. the thought of you on your knees before him, taking him in your mouth and licking and sucking around the tip, making you bite back a moan.

you can’t stop your eyes from looking at his face, his head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut with his neck on display - perfect for you to bite and give hickies, if you were on top straddling him.

you can’t stop the painful ache and wetness seeping in your thong as you watch him get off, his groans and grunts and heavy breaths making you wanna whine out in arousal.

and it’s that suppression right there, getting so worked up and horny over the sight of your peeping tina activities, that cause you to pull yourself away.

because as much as you don’t want to and as much as you wanna help him, you can’t.

you can only scramble into the kitchen and get water as fast and quiet as humanly possible, scurrying past the office and up the stairs with the stealthiness of a lion.

you can only lay in bed with the thoughts of your roommate’s father and the noises he makes, the sight of his cock and the hand movements replaying over and over in your mind.

and you realize that night, with only a few more days until you both have to leave for the spring semester, you can only hope to never see mr. park again.

let this flirtation and fascination and utterly screwed up infatuation with your roommate’s dad be nothing but a dirty memory you’ll keep to yourself for the rest of your life.

because if it’s not, if you have to see him again and have him in your daily life again, you won’t be able to hold yourself back.

your lust will turn deeper and you’ll find yourself in a much bigger issue than damp underwear and secret, forbidden moments with mr. park seonghwa.

you should’ve known with only two days left of your stay that eunbi was gonna let the news slip.

you were at least grateful for the fact that mrs. park had a charity ball with her clan of “botox getting, bitchy sounding gold diggers who need to desperately get laid,” successfully riding her of your last friday night dinner.

“so you girls don’t want a new apartment then?” seonghwa asked, glass of wine in his hand as he looks at the two of you questioningly. “that building’s looking for a new owner, eunbi, i think it’d be perfect for you both.”

“dad don’t be ridiculous, we can’t own the building!” eunbi says, swatting her dad playfully as she shovels a piece of food in her mouth. she’s casual and comfortable without her mom’s prying eyes and biting tone, her foot resting on the white fabric beneath her.

“and besides, i might be alone in there soon. we still don’t know if y/n is gonna be starting her-”

you kick the girl under the table roughly, her face pulling into a wince as a cry leaves her mouth.

“ow, y/n! what the he-”

but it’s upon seeing your white face and annoyed expression that she realizes what she said, her mouth falling open and silent as she looks at you apologetically.

“oh shit...”

you can only shoot her a pained, sarcastic smile, daringly looking at seonghwa who’s watching the two of you with a curious expression.

“what do you mean?”

silence hangs in the air, you and eunbi sharing side eyes and dejected looks with her dad before he cocks an eyebrow at the both of you.

“girls... what do you mean?” he asks, his voice deeper and more serious, taking on a dad-like tone eunbi isn’t used to hearing from her relaxed, playful father.

and that’s when, before eunbi can open her big mouth any further, you calmly and regretfully explain the situation with your scholarship.

how you got an e-mail a few months ago about alternate funding for the art department and that you were one of the many students who, while keeping up your end of requirements, could not be awarded money.

“it’s awful that they can do that,” seonghwa says, his eyes full of the same sympathy and outrage eunbi’s held - except he knows that this happens all the time. that it’s unfair and sick and a big ploy in the education system that needs incredible reform.

especially when it hurts students like you.

“yeah but it is what it is,” you say, trying your hardest to steer the conversation to literally anything but this (in fear that you’ll scream or start crying or have yet another anxiety attack).

“i can just finish up in the fall, it’s no big deal,” you lie through our teeth, a sad smile on your face as you look at eunbi. “i’m just sorry it messes up our combined graduation party.”

a frown crosses eunbi’s face as she smacks you in the arm, pulling you closer to her just so she could cuddle herself into your arm.

“i will wait for you,” she proclaims dramatically, a pout on her lips and starry-eyed look in her gaze. “i will wait as long as i have to. if they delay it any further, father, you will simply have to sue the school.”

“father, huh?” seonghwa hums lowly, his lips quirking into a smirk.

father is the term eunbi uses when she wants to use him and his money, whether it be blackmailing unfair teachers or shitty students or calling for him when her and her mom are fighting.

“yes, father,” she says, looking to you with a sweet, apologetic smile on her face.

“i’m serious, y/n. we got your back,” she quips with a wink, a pained smile on your face that she knows means you can’t wait to let her have it when you two are alone.

“you had one job, eunbi, and you were doing so good,” you say in her room later that night, pacing back and forth as she sits on her bed like a scolded child. “literally two nights left and you let it slip out!”

“i’m sorry, okay!” she whines for the ninth time, a pout on her face as she plays with fingers; you wanna roll your eyes seeing it, knowing for a fact that’s something she does when she’s in trouble with jiwoon.

“i didn’t mean to, it just slipped out!” she begins to defend, “and it was only my dad! he wouldn’t dare say a bad word about you, y/n, he loves you.”

you ignore the twinge in your chest when you hear her say those words, feeling a tad guilty at the bodily reaction you have about her own father. how much you’re hiding from her and that you have these suppressed feelings and secret moments in the first place.

“loves me or not, bad word or not, it’s still embarrassing, eunbi,” you say, a frown on your lips as you start to hear the situation aloud. 

“i still can’t pay for my tuition and have to wait almost a whole year to take a degree in fucking photography. like how embarrassing is that, all of this just for me never find a job and live in a box.”

you’ve only seen a flash of anger on eunbi’s face a few times in your life, the incident with the dorm girls and her dad and when a sorority girl tried to kiss jiwoon at the bar.

and you see it right now, her small but mighty frame jumping off the bed and lunging toward you quickly.

“are you kidding me!” she squeals, smacking you in the arm and pushing you down on the bed.

“what the hell do you mean a degree in fucking photography? or living in a box? you’re gonna be the best photographer in the world and shoot every event in my life and charge me quadruple the amount!”

a smile pulls at your lips as you hear her go on and on, hype you up and build up your confidence and tell you to never talk that way about yourself again. how there’s nothing embarrassing about not being able to afford thousands of dollars when you were alerted about the expense on such short notice.

“okay, okay, i know that,” you eventually give in, letting out a sigh as you flop down on her bed. “it’s just.... stressful. i can’t move back home but i also need to get like, a real job. a job that’s gonna pay well so i can save up as much as possible.”

“and we’ll find you that when we get back,” she says, assuring with a confident look in her eye and her hands in yours. “i can promise you, with or without my father’s connections, we’re getting you a job.”

her words prove to reassure you for the remainder of the night, when, after she kisses your ass a little more, asks if she can go to jiwoon’s for a little.

you spent that time in her room looking at nearby job offerings and building up your resume and cover letters, working well into the night hours with a text from jiwoon that she fell asleep and will be back in the morning.

you stretch your arms above your head with a quiet groan, noting it’s almost one o’clock and you’re fucking parched yet again.

it’s no surprise to you when the lights in the kitchen are on, dimly light and no noise around as you pad your way to the fridge.

you almost expect the footsteps that come in a few moments later, when you take a sip from your water and close the fridge without hesitation.

“have you told your parents about tuition?”

you’re confused by the statement that leaves seonghwa’s mouth, brows pulled together and a sinking feeling in your stomach at this conversation again - because as if tuition wasn’t enough, he just had to bring up your parents.

but you don’t wanna beat around the bush any longer; you two seem to do that enough.

“me and my parents don’t talk,” you say, straight forward and quiet as you look right at him.

it’s the first time he sees you look a little broken and defeated, a certain kind of sadness shining behind your eyes that makes him wanna pull him into you. it feels like a protective instinct he’s used to, caring for the people in his life and not wanting to see them struggle.

“they wouldn’t help me anyway.”

this protective instinct feels a little different in this moment, something else tugging in his chest that he hasn’t felt in a very long time - not until he started seeing you more.

“but it’d be a shame if you didn’t finish, y/n. you got so far and you’ve done so well for yourself.”

you smile a little at the praise, tongue rolling over your lips in a way he certainly doesn’t miss - but this moment isn’t about that. it’s not something he cares even a little bit about right now.

“thank you, mr. park, but i am gonna finish,” you say with finality, the confident and sure tone making a strange sort of pride swell inside of him.

“i just have to save up money and i’ll start in the fall. it’s really not that big of a deal,” you tell him with a smile, taking a few steps back so you don’t feel too crowded by him.

“eunbi’s gonna help me look for jobs when i get back,” you say, a teasing smile pulling at your lips as you look at him. “a big girl job. something real and hard, that’s gonna make me super stressed and agitated.”

so much so that i have to get off at the thought of you.

a deep chuckle bubbles out of him that you match with ease, the two of you sharing small smiles and quiet giggles in the middle of this spotless, white kitchen.

“can’t do what you love quite yet, i guess,” seonghwa says, his eyes roaming your face so slowly and carefully, it makes you a tad bit nervous.

you hadn’t realized how natural and easy this conversation was between you two, like you were talking to someone you’d known your whole life opposed to someone you’ve barely known for four years.

his hand itches to reach up and touch your hair, tuck the soft, silky looking strand behind your ear and watch your cheeks heat up when your skin touches; but instead, he smiles down at you, inching closer until he’s just looming over you and staring down at you with a soft, undetectable look in his eye.

“but it’ll be worth it in the end, i think. it’s just gonna... take some time.”

you lick over our lips, throat and mouth suddenly so incredibly dry, as you nod your head.

“yeah, i think so, too,” you say, your lips smushing together nervously before you open your mouth to speak again - this could be one of the last times you’re alone with him.

“thank you for letting me stay with you guys, mr. park. it’s been... really nice spending time with people for the holidays.”

he feels his heart twinge in his chest again, his eyes falling down to your lips and swearing he’s never wanted to kiss someone so bad in his life.  

“of course, y/n, it’s been a pleasure,” he says, a smile quirking at his lips with a hint of something you just can’t quite make out. “maybe we’ll see each other again soon.”

it was five days before classes started that you got the confirmation e-mail - a message confirming your tuition for the spring semester was paid in full and your current balance was $0.

you had to look over the message for three whole hours making sure you had read the e-mail correctly, even going as far to call the bursar office to make sure they had the correct address.

but they had confirmed with surety that your balance was paid off, urging you to quickly sign up for the classes you need before the day was over.

“okay, you will never believe what interview i was able to score for you,” eunbi says the moment she walks in the apartment, shopping bags up her arm and gucci sunglasses perched atop her head.

“i’ll admit, the vibe was a little off with the coworkers but i think it’d be a great opportunity to-” her eyes catch your laptop screen on the school website, a list of classes and times on your screen that causes her eyes to widen.

“oh?” she squeals, running over and throwing herself down on the couch beside you. “what the heck are you doing? are you... did you...?”

the lie came way too quick and easy to you, excitedly blabbering out that there was a change in the system and your scholarship was approved - “i think they felt bad that i was a graduating senior,” you said, eunbi’s face pulled into the happiest smile you’ve ever seen.

she clapped and danced and bounced around in excitement, proclaiming you guys just had to go out and get drinks to celebrate the fact that your surprise party was back on.

but you could only sit there with your thoughts and suspicions and this overwhelming feeling deep within your stomach that, while eunbi definitely doesn’t know, her father might’ve just paid your college tuition in full.

(part 2)

tag list: @mochibabycakes @atinyarmyx1 @middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich @baekhvuns @marksflvr @bunbaebae @markleeyeosang @inkigayeo @nlost21 @hyunjeansuniverse @cherryeonii @songsoomin @reeateez @biaswreckingfics @yunhoiseyecandy @sophrosyneeeee @uglychildd @happycandynoelle @seolarjk @liqhtiny @maedesculpaeusoubi @revehosh @svt-mangos @hcwurld @ateezappreciation @sanisms​ @khjssss​ @yixing-jaehyun​ @yeosangs-left-ass-cheek​

couldn’t tag: @ateez-after-dark @arkive78 

[watchmegetobsessed]

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part One (Harry Styles)

a/n: oh my god i am sooo thankful for the love the masterlist got with just so little info about the story! it means so much to me and i really hope i won’t disappoint you with this story! i was planning to post the first part on tuesday but i got excited bc of all the feedback and reactions and decided to start earlier, so here it is, part one of TLABL, a story im kind of proud of and very happy to share! please drop by my ask box or leave your thoughts on the story, i would love to hear everything from you guys!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce

word count: 11.2k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

“I hope you realize this holds nothing against you, we all love and appreciate you and your work, but we had to face some unexpected problems this past year.”

You sit in front of Claire, your boss completely dumbfounded, not even comprehending what she is saying completely. You came to work this morning absolutely oblivious that today is going to be your last day of work at the daycare you’ve been working at for over two years now.

“I’m sorry, but last time you let us in on the budget you didn’t bring up any complication that might have indicated someone could lose their job, so what possible problem could have come up so abruptly?” you ask with a shocked and nervous chuckle. Part of you kind of hopes this is just some stupid joke she is playing on you, but Claire is not one to make games out of such serious things. Letting out a tired sigh she pushes her reading glasses up to the top of her head into her carefully curled hair.

“Look, I’m really trying not to make a big deal out of it, but we had to make some cuts on the budget. The kitchen and gymnasium renovation was completely unplanned and it kicked us in the butt. We are making some changes about the groups this year and it was made that it can be solved with one less person on the team. I’m sorry it had to be you, but the decision had to be made.”

“But why me?” you press. “There are two people who have been working for a shorter period of time here, didn’t I earn your trust during my time here?”

“It’s not about that, Y/N,” Claire shakes her head.

“Then what is this about?”

“If you are so keen on knowing, we’ve… received a few… complaints.” Your eyebrows shoot up to your hairline, this is the first time you’re hearing about it.

“Complaints?”

“Yes. Some parents are not quite the fan of the kind of mentality you are using while teaching the kids.”

“What are you talking about?” you ask, feeling all the blood rushing out of your face. This is starting to get way too nasty. Claire pinches the bridge of her nose before leaning onto her desk, clasping her hands together.

“I know that you are quite the free spirit and want to teach the kids about openness and acceptance, but not everyone is as rainbow as you are. Some kids brought the word home about what kind of books you’ve been reading and we’ve gotten a few concerns about you basically promoting the LGBTQ community for the kids.”

“I’m not promoting, I’m trying to teach them to accept everyone just the way they are, how can that upset anyone?!”

“Well, it does. The committee had to make a decision on who we should let go and many agreed that it might be the safest decision to make it be… you.”

You’re about to faint. You are sure you are about to fall off this chair and just black out. How can someone get mad about you reading stories about acceptance and treating everyone equally? What kind of monster can see it as a bad thing? And now you are losing your job over such a stupid thing that you don’t even feel responsible for.

Though you’d love to stay and try to convince Claire to not let you go, you know the decision has been made and if you’re being honest, you don’t feel comfortable anymore working at a place where parents tell you off for teaching important values for their kids. Sadly, but you sign all paperwork about your immediate parting and you leave Claire’s office to pack your stuff.

“Miss Y/N! Miss Y/N!” Izzy, one of the sweetest girls in your group basically launches herself at you, smashing against your legs as she hugs you happily. “Do you want to see what I just painted?” She blinks up at you with her gorgeous green eyes and your heart breaks that you won’t get to see her again.

“Oh, Sweetie. I have to—you know what? Sure. Show me your painting,” you smile at her warmly. You can’t say no to her, not when this is the last time you get to see her.

As you’re cleaning out your locker in the break room, Heather walks in and stops in her tracks, seeing you with your gloomy face as you pack everything into a cardboard box.

“What the hell are you doing?” she questions right away. The two of you have known each other for years now, you did the same master’s programme and somehow ended up working here together, carrying on the friendship you’ve formed through your school years.

“I was… fired,” you sigh, wincing at the words.

“What?! Why?”

“Apparently, we are having some budget problems with all the renovations that was made recently and unbeknownst to me, some parents have been complaining about my openness with kids so I was the lucky one to part ways with.”

“That’s fucking bullshit! The kids adore you, how can someone complain about something like that?”

“Don’t know, ask them if you ever find out who they are,” you mumble under your breath as you shut the now empty locker closed. “I’m sorry we can’t carpool anymore,” you pout at her.

“No fucks given about that, what are you gonna do now?” she asks, seemingly very bummed at the news that you won’t be working at the same place now.

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I guess I’ll have to find something new if I don’t want to end up on the streets,” you mumble.

“Oh girl, I’m so sorry,” Heather sighs pulling you into a hug. “Why don’t we go out for drinks on Friday? Everything is on me!”

“Don’t act like I’m already broke, makes me feel like a loser.”

“Sorry,” she scowls. “Just want to brighten you up a little. Meet me at seven at that Mexican place, how does that sound?”

“Stuffing my face with nachos and tequila? Sounds like the best plan I could wish for.”

You waste no time arriving home after your worst day at work. You jump right into the job ads, looking for basically anything that might help you out of this impossible situation. Sending your resume to as many places as possible, you get a few callbacks the next few days, but you only make it to one interview on Friday and that doesn’t go well either. The man who calls in for an open position at a private kindergarten turns out to be a total snob and he doesn’t find your free spirit too fitting with the profile of his institution so you get rejected at the end of the interview.

You head out to meet Heather feeling like shit. You’ve been unemployed for four days, but it’s already breaking your spirits.

“You know what? Clair is a bitch for giving in to the complaints,” Heather slams her fourth shot glass on the table with a grimace. “She should have defended you!”

“I’m sure she just didn’t want to get into any disagreement. Some of the parents donate great amounts to the school and Claire would never risk losing that money,” you sigh rolling your eyes.

“Okay, but she is being very… not inclusive,” she narrows her eyes. “Firing someone for teaching the kids openness? Bullshit.”

“I’m just sad I don’t get to see the kids anymore. They really grew close to my heart.”

“The little fuckers can be so damn cute, almost make me want to have one.” Heather sighs, downing another shot before pulling the nachos closer to her. You laugh at her vulgar reaction, she has always had quite a dirty mouth but somehow she controls herself well around the kids. “How has the job hunting been?”

“Horrible,” you growl in frustration. There are not many that offer a good paycheck and the few that does are these posh places that expect you to treat the kids like they are made out of gold which is ridiculous. That’s not how you raise a kid!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sure something will come up soon. Why don’t you look into nanny jobs, have you thought about that?”

“What do you mean?” you furrow your eyebrows, popping some chips into your mouth.

“A lot of people prefer having nannies for their little children, some even want them to move in. My brother’s ex-girlfriend was a live-in nanny for about two years and she earned a shit ton of money, because she didn’t have to pay rent and a good chunk of the food, because the parents just treated her like part of the family and bought groceries for five people instead of four.”

“I’m not sure I’m cut out for that kind of stuff.”

“What, earning money?” Heather scoffs.

“No, living with a stranger.”

“Most of the time the nanny gets like a separated place so it wouldn’t be that bad, but you know what’s good for you. It was just an idea,” she shrugs.

Soon enough you drop any work talk not wanting to ruin the mood. You enjoy some time away from the stress of job hunting and you’re just trying to have fun with your best friend. You start talking about nostalgic memories from college and end up looking up people you graduated with on social media, checking out what they’ve been up to in the past years.

“Alright, I’m gonna go to the restroom quickly, watch out for my drink,” you announce pushing your drink closer to Heather as you head towards the restrooms.

There’s a bit of a line so you stand behind two girls chatting about some cute guy they just met and leaning against the wall you close your eyes for a moment, feeling the drinks hitting you in the head. You’re not used to drinking, haven’t really had the time to get drunk too much lately and it’s saddening to think that now that you’re unemployed, you could black out every day, you wouldn’t have anywhere to show up in the morning.

Getting deep in your thoughts you almost don’t even notice that your phone is buzzing in your pocket. When you finally realize you pull it out of your back pocket and look down at the unknown number with a scowl. You quickly leave your spot in the line and rush out to hear something as you answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Hi, I hope I’m not calling at an inconvenient time, I’m Harry Styles and I’m looking to talk to Y/N Y/L/N?” you hear a thick British accent on the other end of the line.

“This is her.”

“Great. Sorry for the late call, I’m Isabelle’s father.”

“Isabelle?” you ask in confusion, the names not really clicking in your head thanks to the shots you’ve been taking.

“Isabelle Styles? Izzy?”

“Oh! Yes! Sorry, yeah. Mr. Styles, what can I help you with?” you ask, not sure why Izzy’s dad would be calling you.

“Well I just recently learned from my daughter that you’re not working at the daycare any longer?” “Uh, yeah. Unfortunately I was fired this Monday…” you awkwardly answer.

“I’m sorry about that. Izzy has been really sad about it, I wanted to ask if you’ve found a new job already?”

“Not yet, I’ve been looking but I haven’t had much luck yet,” you confess.

“In that case I have an offer to make,” he firmly continues and you perk up at his words. “I’ve been thinking about pulling Izzy out of daycare, but I didn’t want to do it until I found someone to take good care of her. You’ve been her absolute favorite and she’s been devastated since you’ve been gone. If you’re up for a job of this kind, I would like to offer you a spot as Izzy’s nanny.”

“Oh!” is all you react, completely not expecting this call.

“I know there are a lot to discuss, but if you’re interested, I would be more than happy to have a chat with you sometime this weekend? To go over the details and see if we can make it work.”

“I, uh… Um, yeah. We can meet, that sounds good. When would it be good for you?”

“How about tomorrow afternoon?”

“That can work.”

“Amazing!” he beams. “I’ll send you the address through text if that’s alright for you.”

“Yeah, of course. When should I be there?”

“Would three o’clock suit you?”

“Absolutely,” you nod, stunned at the turn of events.

“Great, thank you so much, and once again, sorry to bother you on your Friday evening. Looking forward to see you tomorrow!”

“Thank you, Mr. Styles, see you soon!”

You get back in line at the bathroom and then make your way back to the table where Heather gives you a puzzled look.

“Did you take a massive shit or something?” she jokes as you take your seat and stare back at her, still in shock.

“No, I had a very interesting call, actually.”

“With who?”

“Um, Izzy Styles’ dad just called and offered me a job as her nanny.”

Heather almost chokes on her drink, coughing at the news. You hand her a napkin as she dries her chin off from her cocktail.

“Harry Styles wants you to be the nanny of his daughter?” she gasps.

“You know Izzy’s dad?”

“Y/N, everyone knows him! He is the sexiest man to walk this planet and not to mention that he is like stupidly rich! Have you not seen him yet?”

“Not really,” you shrug. “Izzy was picked up by an old woman most of the times, I guess I never worked when her dad came for her.”

“That explains why you’re not squirming already,” she scoffs. “That man is like… crazy hot, I’m telling you. I bumped into him one morning when I guess he was dropping Izzy off, the way he said ‘Pardon me, Darling’ made my knees shake,” she tells you, faking an accent that’s nowhere near what Mr. Styles sounded like on the phone.

“Well, I guess I’ll see him for myself. I’m meeting him tomorrow to discuss details,” you shrug and Heather slams her hand on the table.

“Oh my God! You’re gonna work for Harry Fucking Styles! Get ready because your panties will be soaking wet all the time,” she laughs like a hyena.

“Heather, stop!” you shake your head laughing too.

Following Mr. Styles’ call you decide to cut the night shorter than you intended, not wanting to look absolutely wasted when you meet him. Arriving home to your small, one bedroom apartment you take a quick shower before climbing to bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to collect your thoughts. You told Heather you’re not willing to do the whole live-in nanny thing and Mr. Styles might not even want you to live with them, but now that the option is there, you realize it might not be the worst case scenario. Especially since you’re not really swimming in other job offers and you are in desperate need of anything at this point.

Despite having consumed quite some alcohol the previous night, you wake up at a reasonable hour in the morning, finding a text from Mr. Styles about the address you’d have to be going in the afternoon. You make a quick trip to the grocery store and do some chores before you start getting ready for the meeting. You opt for a simple black dress that reaches your knees and pair it with a little funkier, flower printed blazer to bring some color into the outfit.

Punching the address into the GPS you see that it’s taking you to the outer skirt of the city to the neighborhood that’s known to have some quite luxurious estates and you immediately think back to what Heather said about him being ridiculously rich. Driving down the streets in your old Volkswagen you couldn’t stand out more at a place where at least three cars park on the driveways and one of them is a Ferrari or a Porsche.

There’s a massive security gate under the address that’s your destination and it’s left open so you can pull up to the driveway easily. You park next to a fucking Tesla, finding it extremely funny to see your car next to it, but it is what it is. Walking up to the front door you ring the bell as you take a look at the house that can easily considered to be a mansion. Guessing from the outside there are at least about five bedrooms in it and you can only imagine what other luxurious units are squeezed into it.

Soon enough the front door opens and you find yourself staring back at a breathtakingly gorgeous man, wearing a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black suit pants, his chocolate curls falling to his forehead as his emerald eyes fall on you, a warm smile tugging on his lips.

Shit. Heather was fucking right, you think to yourself swallowing hard.

“Miss Y/L/N, it’s so nice to see you. I’m Harry, Izzy’s dad, come on in!” he invites you inside before a short handshake.

“Nice to meet you too, Mr. Styles.”

“Please, just call me Harry. I don’t like formalities at home,” he asks you as the two of you walk further inside until you arrive to what looks like a living room, but it’s actually the size of your apartment.

“Only if you call me Y/N,” you smile at him and he nods right away.

“Miss Y/N!” you hear a small voice call out and turning around you see Izzy running down the hallway until she throws herself against your legs.

“Oh, hello Sunshine!” you hum, squatting down so you can hug her.

“I missed you!” she pouts, rubbing her eyes.

“I missed you too,” you smile at her, caressing her soft cheeks before standing up. An older lady walks in, the one you’ve seen picking up Izzy. She approaches you with a friendly smile as she extends a hand towards you.

“Hi, I’m Ruth, it’s nice to meet you.” “Y/N, nice to meet you too.”

“Ruth, would you take Izzy outside while I talk to Miss—erm, Y/N here?” Harry requests. Ruth nods and taking Izzy’s hand she lures her outside to look for ladybugs in the backyard and that immediately catches her attention. The two of them leave through the sliding door, giving you and Harry privacy.

“Please, have a seat,” he gestures towards the sectional couch. “Would you like something to drink?”

“I’m good, thank you,” you smile at him as he sits in an armchair across you.

The interior of the house is quite cozy, kind of modern with a hint of vintage touches that make it less rigid, a pop of color showing at most corners so it’s not too monochrome. You quite like it.

“Y/N, I once again apologize for calling you at such an inappropriate hour, but I often work late and I wanted to get in touch with you as soon as possible upon hearing the news.”

“Don’t worry about it, I understand.”

“Isabelle mentioned it to me on Thursday that the other workers told her you no longer work at the daycare so I asked around a little yesterday and was informed that they let you go earlier in the week.”

“It was quite sudden for me as well,” you chuckle lightly, feeling a little anxious to talk about it.

“I know it’s not too appropriate, but I asked why they chose you to part ways with and I have to say it’s outraging that some parents are so ignorant and wayward. I’m really sorry this had to be the reason out of everything.”

“Thank you.” It actually feels nice that he thinks the same, this whole firing was ridiculous and you were losing hope in humanity, but Harry is now very much restoring it.

“Let me walk you through what the situation is here and what I was thinking about.” You nod and listen carefully. “I’m president of a record label and it consumes most of my time, I sometimes work sixty hours a week which I know is not ideal and healthy and I’m trying to change it, but it’s not an easy situation. I thought that putting Izzy into daycare was a good idea, but it’s been getting harder to work around her schedule as a single parent with so much work on my hands. Ruth is a family friend who has been helping tremendously with Izzy, but she is not getting any younger and she would like to retire fully and spend more time with her own grandkids. So I’ve been thinking about hiring a nanny for Izzy and try to make her days work around mine while I’m able to do that. She is going to start preschool in little over a year and I want to spend as much time with her as possible, but it’s not easy when the schedule depends on an institution. When she told me about your firing I had the thought that you might be interested in taking the spot as her nanny. She is obsessed with you, wouldn’t stop talking about what you do every day, and I might have also looked into your professional background. I like what I’ve seen and I’m very much into the way you’ve been dealing with the kids at the daycare. Openness is really important and I want Izzy to grow up in an environment that teaches her about being equal and supportive towards each other. I would be more than happy if you’d be the one taking care of Izzy while I’m not available.”

To say the east you’re stunned at how forward and open he was about the offer and his compliment about your professional background is quite flattering. You can tell he is doing an amazing job at raising Izzy as an open and accepting human, she was always one of the nicest and sweetest kids who always made sure to include all her peers in the games you played. And it’s obvious Harry is not just being a hypocrite, his tattooed arm, painted nails and ring clad fingers are not quite what you’d traditionally imagine a man like him wear, but he does it well and clearly doesn’t give a fuck what others might think about it.

Harry continues with how much he thought you’d be earning for the job and you almost choke on your own saliva. It’s almost three times as much as you’ve been earning at the daycare and you’d be able to save a good chunk every month which is quite amazing.

“I have to ask, were you thinking about a situation where I live with you or I’d have to be coming here every day?”

“Well, essentially it would be the easiest for everyone if you moved in. I have plenty of rooms you could choose from and you’d have access to everything else as well, of course, including the home gym, the pool, the sauna and the entertainment room. But I understand if you are not willing to make that commitment. If you choose to live here you wouldn’t be charged anything, naturally.”

This actually sounds like a dream, moving into this luxury mansion from your cramped little apartment and being able to save the money you’ve been paying on rent.

“And what would be the time management? If I moved in it would easily make me fall into a habit of always working, which is not quite ideal,” you point it out.

“Of course,” he nods. “I like to take care of her morning routine so you’d have to start around nine when I leave to the office. If we can make this deal working I’d like her to start taking some extra classes during the day, moving her activities earlier in the day so her afternoons would be free. She takes piano lessons on Mondays and Wednesdays, a swimming instructor comes here on Thursdays and she is taking French lessons every Tuesday and Friday. Everything takes place here, I would reschedule her activities to take place between nine and twelve. You wouldn’t have to worry about her during those times. You’d cover lunch time and then the afternoons. I try to get home between four and six and just work from home if it’s possible so I can be around her. You’d have to only help out whenever I can’t make it home in time I have urgent works that have to be done from home. We could have dinner time together and then her night time routine is my duty again. Ruth is willing to help me out on Saturdays and I spend Sundays with her strictly without any work distraction so you’d have the weekends off unless something comes up. In those cases I would check in with you beforehand and arrange it however it works best for you.”

You’re speechless for a moment. What he just shared doesn’t seem too bad, you might have to work a lot more, but being one on one with just one kid is much easier than dealing with fifteen of them at once. Not to mention that the money is still amazing compared to what you’d have to be doing.

“I’m gonna be honest with you, it’s an amazing offer. Izzy is such a sweet girl, I would be more than happy to take care of her.”

Harry smiles at you warmly, clearly proud of his daughter, as he should be.

“Can I ask for some time to think about it? It would be a huge commitment.” “Of course. Take your time and let me know whatever your decision is.”

“Thank you.”

Harry offers a quick tour in the house regardless, the kitchen is massive, they have a nice dining area with floor-to-ceiling windows looking out to the green slopes of the backyard that seems to be Izzy’s kingdom. She has a playhouse that could almost function as a real one, the pool is filled with floaties for her and she has her own playground further in the back with slides, monkey bars and a swing set. Your assumptions were almost right about the number of bedrooms. Beside Harry’s master and Izzy’s own room there’s one that’s been used by Ruth, one that’s for Harry’s mother and sister for whenever they are staying over and there are three additional rooms now serving as guest bedrooms, one of those would be turned into your room if you chose to move in. The gym seems better than the one you’ve been going whenever you felt like being a little active, the entertainment room has everything you could ever think about for a room this sort of and the sauna is already calling your name. Living and working here might actually feel like a vacation.

“Miss Y/N! Look what I found!” Izzy runs up to you when you and Harry step out to the backyard, holding her pointing finger up. A ladybug is wandering around her tiny finger, not even bothering with the amazed girl that’s inspecting it.

“Wow! How many dots do you see on it?” you ask and she knits her eyebrows together, counting the black dots.

“Five!”

“Yes, good job!” you ruffle her curls as she smiles up at you proudly. She really is an angel, you’ve grown to like her a lot and you would be lying if you said you didn’t get emotional over thinking about never seeing her again. Being able to take care of her and give her the best possible childhood would be such a dream and the chance to do that is right in front of you.

“I’ll be waiting for your call, Y/N,” Harry smiles at you walking you towards the front door.

“Harry, I don’t think you need to do that,” you speak up and see his face fall, he obviously took it the wrong way, thinking that you want to say no to his offer.

“Oh…”

“It’s not that,” you chuckle softly. “I would love to take the job. And if you’re still okay with that, I’d like to move in, it would make everything just so much easier.”

You watch as his expression changes from disappointed to hopeful as he cracks a smile nodding.

“Yeah, the offer is still there. When do you think you can start?”

“How soon do you want to pull Izzy out of daycare?”

“As soon as possible. If I have to I can go in on Monday and do all the paperwork. You could move in sometime during the week maybe?”

“I have to talk to my landlord about my lease, but I’m fine with moving in during the week,” you nod smiling and you can’t help but feel excited.

“That would be wonderful. Thank you so much. I’m looking forward to working with you.”

You discuss a few more details and then you head out, thinking about how the next time you’ll be coming here, you’ll be moving in.

“If this one doesn’t go to the donate box, I’m leaving right now.”

Heather holds up a pair of denim shorts, painted in the colors of the flag of the States. She holds it pinched between her index finger and thumb as if it was something nasty and disgusting

“You know I only bought that for that stupid frat party. I never wore that anywhere else, so you can put it into the donate box.”

“Thank God!” she groans and throws the shorts into said box.

It’s Sunday evening and your place looks like a warzone, boxes taking up the place everywhere as you’re packing your life up to officially move into the Styles mansion. You agreed with Harry to bring over a good chunk of your stuff on Monday and then settle in for real on Tuesday. He is pulling Izzy out of daycare first thing on Monday and you’d stay at home with her for the first time on Wednesday. It’s been a fast paced change, but you couldn’t care less. With the amount Harry is gonna pay you, you’ll be able to save up a good chunk every month, like you always wanted to.

As you finish putting your books away you reach the shelves that contain all your photo albums. Photography has been your passion for a long time. It started as a simple hobby sometime through your freshman year in high school, but in senior year, your photos filled the yearbook and you even did the design of it too. You’ve had a few gigs since then, some weddings and pregnancy shoots and you like to sell your photos individually as well. You wouldn’t have imagined how much a simple nature photo costs.

Flipping through the one on the top, you can’t help the bitter smile on your face as you see the photos from your brother’s 14th birthday three years ago. There are tons of family pictures with you, your brother Trevor and your parents, seemingly being all happy and joyful. Things were different back then and you didn’t see anything coming.

It’s past midnight by the time you more or less finish packing, you’ve filled three big boxes with things to donate so you have significantly less stuff to move to the Styles mansion in the morning. Heather spends the night, but leaves early in the morning since she needs to go to work. The moving van you rented out arrives a little after eleven and the two guys from the moving company helps you load it with about two thirds of your stuff. Harry is at work when you arrive and Izzy is still at the daycare, Ruth is the only one at home, she helps you out even though you tell her not to break a sweat over it.

“Let me help, makes me feel needed,” she chuckles sweetly when you try to get her to stop, but she insists on bringing in some smaller bags and boxes.

You’re still unpacking when Ruth arrives back with Izzy a little after four. You hear her little feet tapping against the floor as she runs down the hallway, bursting into your future room.

“Miss Y/N! You’re here!” she cheers, throwing herself into your arms as you sit on the floor, being the perfect level for the little girl.

“I am! How was your day, little Sunshine?”

“We finger painted and I made a painting for daddy, do you want to see it?”

“Of course!”

Izzy disappears to get her backpack from Ruth who is making her some snacks in the kitchen. She soon returns with her painting, presenting it to you proudly.

“Look! This is me and this is daddy!” she points at the two human-like figures, the only thing giving away who is who is that one of them is bigger than the other one. “And then this is mommy!” she then adds, pointing at a star in the upper corner of the painting and you freeze.

In the midst of everything, you didn’t even have the time to question why Harry is a single parent. To be honest your first guess would have been divorce, but Izzy’s painting is telling you something a lot more tragic.

“It’s beautiful,” you smile at her, trying to hide your surprise at the new information. “I’m sure he’ll love it.”

Ruth makes sure Izzy is busy while you finish up unpacking and when you’re about to be done, Harry arrives home. Approaching your room even though the door is open he knocks on the doorframe, catching your attention.

“Hello, just wanted to see how things are going. Do you need help with anything? I’m sorry I couldn’t be here to help with the boxes and all…”

“Hi! Oh don’t worry about that, I had plenty of help,” you shrug smiling. “Everything is going fine, thank you.”

“Great. I did all the paperwork today, tomorrow is going to be Izzy’s last day at daycare. You’re still up to start on Wednesday, right?”

“Yeah, of course. I only have a few things left at home so I’ll be all set by tomorrow.”

“Thank you so much,” he smiles warmly. “And thank you for being so quick about everything. It means a lot to me that I can spend more time with Izzy thanks to you. I really appreciate it.”

“I should be thanking you the opportunity. I wasn’t really drowning in the job offers,” you chuckle making him smile as well. “Please let me know if you want me to change anything, I have a plan I would like to go around with Izzy’s days, but of course, your word is the most important.”

“I trust you to take good care of her during the day. The only thing I want is to have her home when I get home. Ruth couldn’t always pick her up before and I really hated to do the extra trip and pick her up from daycare instead of coming straight home to be with her.”

“Understandable. I’ll make sure to plan accordingly,” you nod smiling.

“Y/N, I want you to feel home as much as possible. This is your place just as much as it is ours now. Izzy and I go grocery shopping every Sunday, it’s kind of a father-daughter thing we do every week. We keep a list on the fridge, feel free to add whatever you need and we’ll get it.”

You can’t help the smile that stretches across your lips, because this is such a sweet thing to do, when Harry could easily afford someone to do the work for him. Yet he still uses this time to be with his daughter.

“Yeah, sure, thank you!”

“I’ll get out of your hair now. Would you like to stay for dinner?”

“Oh, no, but thank you. I still have some things to take care of before tomorrow.”

“Alright,” he nods before walking out. He leaves you thinking hard about him. You wonder what really happened to Izzy’s mom and if he is dating someone right now. A man like him is basically a dream to any woman, you doubt he is having a hard time finding a partner, but you haven’t seen any sign of another woman around the house. Guess you’ll have to wait and figure it out yourself.

The apartment is awfully empty on your last night here. When you moved in about a year ago you didn’t think you’d be moving into a mansion from here. You spend the evening cleaning out a bit so you leave the place in good condition. Your landlord was terribly nice about your early leave, you could easily agree that you’d pay for the two more weeks that’s left from the month and that would be all, no extra costs for moving out before your lease was up.

You’re cleaning off the kitchen counter when your phone starts ringing, it’s a video call from your brother.

“Hey there! What’s up?” you ask, propping up the phone on top of the microwave while you move around, doing your thing. Trevor seems to be lying in bed, a black hoodie covering his upper body.

“Hello, just wanted to see how the moving has gone today.”

Despite the ten year age gap between you and Trevor, your relationship couldn’t be better. Probably because you were old enough to see what a blessing a sibling really is when he was born.

“Everything went smoothly. I only have a few stuff to bring over, that can fit into my car tomorrow, so it’s fine.”

“Cool. How is the dude? What was his name again?”

“Harry. Harry Styles.” You see him pull his laptop to his lap and probably searches up Harry’s name before his eyes widen at the screen.

“This dude is big! He is the president of HES Records, they run some of the most popular singers these days.”

“Yeah? I was sure he is a big name judging from his mansion,” you chuckle.

“Have you looked him up yet?”

“Not really.” “Want me to read what’s here about him?”

“Sure,” you hum, continuing to clean while you listen to Trevor.

“Alright. Apparently he is thirty-one, took over the record company when he was just twenty-five because his father wanted to retire early. The number of talents working under the label has doubled since he has taken over and many of his clients have won Grammy Awards. Impressive,” he hums, scrolling down on whatever site he has just found. “He is known to be a private person, the last time he made an appearance… Oh shit…” Trevor breathes out and you turn to your phone with furrowed eyebrows.

“What?”

“Wow, this shit is heavy. It says the last time he made a public appearance was in 2017, not long before his wife was killed in a car accident.”

You freeze, feeling your stomach drop to the floor, immediately thinking back at Izzy’s painting of her family. It very much makes sense why she said the star was her mother, it must be the way Harry explained to her what happened to her mother.

“It happened in 2018, she wasn’t in the fault, a drunk driver ignored the red light and ran into her car at a crossroad. This is terrible, oh God.”

“Poor Izzy, she probably doesn’t even know what really happened.”

“Must have been hard on him, there’s not much about him since then.”

“Can’t blame him for not wanting to be in the spotlight after losing his wife.”

“Yeah.”

Trevor shows you a few pictures of him from years ago, he has always been handsome, but your favorites are the few from the times when he had long hair. He looked so different, like a whole other person, but still, he rocked it perfectly.

Then you show Trevor around in the empty apartment before loving to the couch, turning all your attention to him.

“How have things been?” you ask with a sigh. Trevor purses his lips and shrugs.

“Other than the constant screaming matches on the phone and endless fights every time dad comes over for more of his stuff? Everything is rainbows and butterflies.”

“Is it really that bad?” you scowl.

“It’s like they never run out of stuff to throw at each other, but I feel like this much couldn’t happen even in their twenty-eight years together,” he scoffs making you chuckle.

“I’m sorry you’re stuck in the middle of all that.”

“It’s like payback,” he hums and you give him a puzzled look. “You had it bad growing up for being the surprise baby, making them teen parents. Then I came at a reasonable time, they already knew the drill, but now that you’re out of the house I’m getting all the shit, having to deal with their divorce.”

“I’m really sorry, Trev,” you sigh, feeling guilty that he is all alone at home.

“It’s fine, I don’t blame you,” he shrugs. “But you could make it better if you asked your millionaire boss if I could hang out at his house sometimes.” He grins at you slyly and you roll your eyes. Of course he is already thinking about using you for his own good!

“I don’t want to push the boundaries just yet, but I’ll see what I can do.”

You talk a little more about school and what he’s been up to with his friends before ending the call. You take a shower and go to bed right away, feeling extremely worn out from all the packing you’ve done through the day.

The next day you pack the remainder of your stuff into your car and then your landlord comes over to do a checkup, though he fully trusts you took good care of the place.

“Again, thank you for your understanding, I didn’t plan to leave so early, but it just kinda came up,” you tell him, handing him over your keys.

“Don’t worry about it. I hope your new place will treat you right,” he smiles kindly at you.

You chat a little longer before you leave and head over to your new home. Once again, Ruth is the only one home and being the angel that she is, she helps you to carry your stuff up from the car before leaving to get Izzy from daycare. Since there’s not much left to unpack you finish quite fast, leaving you some extra time alone in the house. Walking around you try to learn your way around, still finding it a bit of a maze. You find Harry’s home office’s door open and after a bit of hesitation you step inside, just taking a look around. Yeah, it’s kind of a nosy thing to do, but you couldn’t help yourself.

His space is quite clear, he keeps his stuff neatly organized. Certificates and plaques are hung up on the wall, showing off his many successes in the business. There’s a huge bookcase near his desk and there you see some family photos… ones that include his late wife as well.

She was beautiful. There’s a picture of the three of them in the hospital from the day Izzy was born, Harry has an arm around his wife’s shoulders who is holding baby Izzy, both of them radiating happiness as they just become parents. Your heart breaks when you see the photo next to it, it’s just Harry and her in Paris, the Eiffel tower standing tall behind them as they are grinning widely at each other, foreheads touching. Harry has his arms wrapped around her slim figure while she is hugging his neck. They look so happy and in love, like they were always meant to be with each other. Knowing what tragedy hit them is just hard to process even for you, who never even met the woman.

You hear the front door open and Izzy is laughing at something, so you rush out before anyone could catch you snooping around.

“Hi Miss Y/N!” she chirps upon seeing you when you meet them in the living room.

“Izzy, you don’t have to call me Miss Y/N, Y/N is perfectly fine,” you smile at her, caressing her rosy cheeks.

“Okay. Ruth, can I please have some ice-cream?”

“I’m afraid we ran out of ice-cream, but I’ll put it on your grocery list,” Ruth tells her, a pout tugging on Izzy’s lips.

“How about this: I’m gonna make a delicious smoothie, that’s almost like melted ice-cream, would you like some?” you offer and her eyes brighten up immediately, nodding right away.

While Ruth puts away Izzy’s things they brought home from daycare, while the two of you move to the kitchen to make the smoothie together. You find some frozen berries in the freezer and pair them with bananas, putting them all into the blender with oatmilk, blending it all together.

“How is it?” you ask Izzy, who is sitting on top of the counter, tasting the pink smoothie that leaves a cute little mustache above her cherry lips.

“I like it!” she smiles, scrunching her nose.

“We can make it some other time then,” you smile, drinking up your portion.

Izzy is dancing around the kitchen, babbling about her last day at daycare while you clean the glasses and the blender when Harry arrives. He is wearing a baby blue suit with a crispy dress shirt underneath, looking fashionable but still business appropriate at the same time.

“Daddy!” Izzy launches towards her daddy, who catches her, throwing her into the air before holding her in his arms, joining you in the kitchen.

“Hey baby. How was your day?”

“Good, all my friends hugged me but I told them we would meet in the park.”

“That’s right, and I have the number of all your friends’ parents, we can have playdates with them whenever you want to,” he smiles before his eyes meet yours. “Hi Y/N, everything went well with the rest of your moving?”

“Yeah, I’m all set,” you smile back at him.

“That’s great. I have a few calls to make, but I’ll be done in thirty probably. Would you mind looking out for Izzy in the meanwhile?”

“Of course. She promised me to take me around her room, so we could do that, what do you say?” you ask the little girl who nods in excitement.

Harry disappears in his office and Izzy pulls you to her room, showing you just about every toy she owns. Her room is a typical girl’s room, the walls are painted a light pink color, her bedframe resembles a castle and she has a dollhouse as big as your previous bathroom. Harry clearly spoils her rotten, but what you noticed is that she is not one of those annoying bratty only children who can’t take no. She was clearly taught how to behave and always listen to the adults.

While Izzy is putting her stuffed animals away after introducing you to all of them, you spot a photo frame near her bed, decorated with macaroni. You remember when you all did that together at daycare and now you get to see the photo that ended up behind the glass.

It’s a photo of Izzy and her mother, she was just a baby and doing quick math in your head you realize it must have been not long before her accident, might even be the last picture taken of the two of them. Her mom is smiling at the camera while Izzy is sleeping in her arms peacefully. Izzy looked a lot like her when she was a baby, the bridge of her nose and her lips resembled her mother’s, though now she appears to take more after her dad with her chocolate curls and piercing green eyes.

“That’s my mommy,” she tells you when she sees you looking at the photo.

“It’s a nice picture,” you smile at her, trying your best to hide how heartbroken you feel even just looking at the photo.

“Daddy said she had to go up to the sky, but she is watching me from there,” she explains, clearly not entirely sure what it means, but you can tell she misses her. “Daddy said she is living between the stars now and that she loves me very much.” You need to fight your tears back at her words.

“I’m sure of that too,” you breathe out smiling at her.

“Izzy, do you want to help me make dinner?” Harry walks in smiling, though it disappears for a moment when he sees the two of you looking at the photo of his wife, but he is quick to control himself.

“Yes! What are we making?” she runs over to him, jumping up and down.

“Uh, chicken and veggies.”

You step away from the photo, pretending like nothing just happened. You’re dying to discuss it with Harry, hear him talk about it, but you won’t push him. If he wants to share it, he’ll come to you.

“Alright, come on then,” he smiles down at her. “Thank you for watching her, I’ll take over from here. Food will be ready in about an hour, Ruth is staying with us as well,” he informs you.

“Great, I’ll… I’ll be in my room,” you nod.

The first two weeks on the job brush past smoothly. It takes you some time to get used to your new home, but taking care of Izzy doesn’t feel like work, so you’re feeling amazing in your new job. You easily fall into a schedule with her.

The mornings are always Harry’s duty. He wakes her up around seven-thirty, makes her breakfast and dresses her for the day before he leaves around nine. Thanks to this habit of his, you’re able to sleep in until eight, leaving you plenty of time to get ready for your day with Izzy before Harry has to leave. Depending on the weather, the two of you then either take over the back yard or move to her room for some play time before her class of the day starts in the noon. Piano with Rosaline on Mondays and Wednesdays, French lesson with Lyon on Tuesdays and Fridays and then Izzy’s favorite on Thursdays, swimming class with Kitty.

Izzy loves to help in the kitchen so you usually make lunch together. Once her tummy is full she takes a nap before you sit down to learn something new every day. You’ve been teaching her the numbers and the alphabet, or some days you just talk about anything that interests her and learn at least two things she hasn’t know yet, all through games so she doesn’t even realize what you’re doing. You’re usually done by around three, leaving you time to take a visit to the park, if Harry is not planning to take her himself later that day.

You’re strictly home by four, unless it’s Tuesday when she has her dance class until five. Those days you drive her to her class, run some quick errands and pick her up. Harry usually uses his extra time in the office on these days, but he is always home by six to have dinner together with his daughter.

Once Harry is home you’re off duty, though you like to stay close, not just in case something comes up for Harry, but because you genuinely like spending time with Izzy and Harry, seeing them interacting.

Harry sometimes has to work on Saturdays as well, but just as he promised Ruth is always here to take over duty on those days, leaving you free for the whole weekend. It’s been working perfectly for you and those very few concerns you had about moving in dissolve quite fast as soon as you start working.

Though it’s been pretty clear to you before, you now one hundred percent sure that Harry is living for his daughter. She is always a priority, he doesn’t hesitate to decline any work calls he gets in the evenings if Izzy needs him, if she is a little fussy and wants her daddy’s attention or when they are in the middle of a game. He is clearly trying to keep a balance between his work and role as a father and from what you’ve seen, it seems like he is doing an amazing job in that. However you haven’t learned much else about him. He is all friendly towards you, but makes sure to keep it business casual, not quite keen on getting to know each other better as just friends, maybe.

A Friday afternoon you’re having a little tea party in the backyard with Izzy when Harry arrives home, but this time, he is not alone. Through the sliding door you spot him with a blonde guy who is talking very articulately as Harry is typing on his phone. The man looks about Harry’s age, but you can’t tell if he is a friend or a business partner, but if Harry brought him home, he is more likely to be a friend of his.

“Uncle Niall!” Izzy gasps when he spots the man through the glass and abandoning the tea party, she starts running towards the door. The man spots her and slides the door open grinning widely before she jumps into his arms.

“Little bugger! How are ya?” the man laughs, holding Izzy in a tight hug before leaning back to take a good look at her. You notice his thick Irish accent and it suits his appearance quite well. You head inside as well, in case Harry needs Izzy busy for a little longer, though he doesn’t mind having her around, kissing the top of her head before finishing up whatever he was doing on his phone, watching Niall and Izzy smiling.

“I’m having a tea party with Y/N, wanna join?” Izzy invites the man, who then looks at you for the first time, smiling widely.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, Izzy’s new nanny,” you introduce yourself, holding out a hand that he shakes, keeping Izzy in his other arm without a problem.

“Nice to meet ya, I’m Niall.”

“Y/N, Niall is an old friend of mine. He is joining us for dinner, hope you don’t mind,” Harry informs you and you find it funny how he is kind of asking for your approval when it’s his house.

“Not at all.”

“Harry has told me he hired a pair of new hands to help, but he didn’t mention it’s a stunning young woman!” Niall beams, making you blush right away.

“Ni, I would appreciate it if you didn’t try to pick up my daughter’s new nanny,” Harry warns him lightly, though there’s some firmness in his tone, not that it scares Niall in any way, he even winks at you.

“Oh come on, you can’t expect me not to flirt when you surround yourself with so many pretty women! First Ruth and now Y/N!”

You smile at him, something is telling you he wasn’t joking and he tried to flirt with Ruth as well. Harry just rolls his eyes at his friend, taking Izzy from him.

“Keep it in your pants, Niall,” Harry tells him and though it’s nothing vulgar, it catches Izzy’s attention.

“What should he keep in his pants?” she questions, making your and Harry’s eyes grow big right away. Luckily, Niall keeps his cool and takes care of the situation.

“My attitude, Sweetie. Your daddy is just jealous because I’m more handsome than he is,” he smirks at the little girl, successfully avoiding an awkward conversation about what it is that Niall should keep in his pants.

You smile at his reply, even though you are not that sure about the comparison he just made between himself and Harry.

“Izzy, do you want to continue the tea party?” you ask her and even though just a minute ago she was inviting Niall to join her, now she shakes her head no. “Alright, I’ll pack it up then.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. We’ll do it, right Izzy? She brought it all out, she is going to be the one packing it up,” Harry reminds her and she nods.

The two of them move outside to put her little tea set back into the basket she keeps it in, leaving you and Niall alone.

“So Y/N, how did you end up here?”

“I was working at Izzy’s daycare, but they sent me away not long ago. Then Harry contacted me and offered the job which was a lifesaver, truly.”

“That’s great! Well, not that you got fired, but that you ended up here. I know it means a lot for Harry that he can spend more time with Izzy, you’re making everything a lot easier for him.” Niall walks over into the kitchen and grabs a water for himself as he leans against the counter. “I can see that he is a lot more relaxed now already.”

“Really?” you ask, surprised.

“Yeah. I know he always used to stress about picking Izzy up, or forgetting something the daycare asked for. Now he can make it all work just how he wants to, that fits him a lot more. It hasn’t been easy on him since Maggie’s death.”

This is the first time you hear anyone talk about Harry’s wife and now you just learned her name. Maggie.

“Being a single parents is never easy,” you add with a soft smile, not wanting to interrogate Niall about Maggie. It’s Harry’s place to tell you about her, if he wants to, of course.

Soon enough Izzy and Harry take over the kitchen, Niall helping them this time and you leave them alone, taking some time for yourself in your room. Later you go out to check if there’s anything you could help with, Harry asks you to set the table as he finishes up the cooking.

“So, Y/N. Tell me a little bit about yourself!” Niall asks you over dinner.

“Um, what do you want to know?” you ask, feeling a little flustered to be in the spotlight.

“I don’t know, family, friends, hobbies?”

“Well, I have a younger brother, Trevor. He is seventeen and already taller than me.”

“Oh, that seems like a big age gap.”

“Ten years, to be exact,” you nod. “He was planned, I wasn’t,” you add with a soft chuckle. “But we have a great relationship, so it’s all good. We talk almost every day.”

“I’m sure you’ll get well along with Gemma then!” Niall beams, glancing at Harry.

“Gemma is my sister,” Harry explains. “Though she is not that much older than me.”

“But you can bond over being stuck with a younger brother who outgrew you,” Niall jokes making all three of you laugh.

All through dinner you realize how different Niall is from Harry, but in a good way. While Harry is more quiet and calm, Niall is kind of all over the place, buzzing and chatting every chance he got, but the two of them make a great pair, bringing what the other doesn’t have to the table.

After dinner you attempt to leave them again, but Niall makes you stay as they open a glass of wine. Harry puts on a movie for Izzy to keep her busy, giving the three of you a chance to sit out at the terrace from where you still can keep an eye on the little girl inside.

“Alright, Y/N. When are we going on our first date then?” Niall asks out of the blue, a cocky smile tugging on his lips.

“Niall, for fuck’s sake,” Harry breathes out as you let out an awkward chuckle.

“What? I think there’s some electricity going on between us.”

“I, uhh—I don’t…”

“Please don’t turn me down!” he sighs dramatically, making you smile.

“You’ve been great company, but I’m not sure we should go out,” you tell him. He huffs in disappointment, but it’s clear he didn’t take it to his heart.

“Is it because you’re taken? I didn’t even ask, are you dating anyone? You can’t be engaged, because I don’t see any rings,” he points out, nodding towards your naked fingers, however his words make you suck on your breath.

“I’m not engaged. Not anymore,” you admit and you watch their eyes go wide at the information.

“Wait, you’ve been engaged before?” Harry asks, clearly surprised, if not shocked.

“Yeah. For about four months,” you nod, running your tongue over your lips as you reach for your wine, taking a few large gulps.

“And what did the fucker do?” Niall bluntly questions, earning a look from Harry. “What? I’m just curious what twat it takes to lose a woman like her!”

“Maybe she doesn’t want to talk about that,” Harry presses, but you shrug.

“It’s not a secret. We dated for about two years before he proposed. I said yes, started planning the wedding and everything, then found out that he had been cheating on me with his assistant for about a year. We broke up, simple as that. It’s in the past, happened a year ago.”

“That’s some next level asshole bullshit,” Niall shakes his head while Harry is just staring at you with an unreadable look before he turns his attention at his glass, still clearly deep in his thoughts and you wonder what he thinks of you now. Here is the loser who not only got cheated on, but lost her job, all of that just in one year.

Harry doesn’t react, and a moment later Izzy comes out because she is thirsty, so daddy duties call him away. Niall stays a little, but heads home soon as well.

“It was nice meeting you, Y/N. The date still stands though,” he smirks when he pulls back from the short hug he enveloped you in.

“Alright,” you chuckle, slowly getting used to his flirty act.

You was the wine glasses and head back to your room while Harry walks Niall out and then takes Izzy upstairs to give her a bath. You don’t cross paths until later when you leave your room, already in your pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt to grab some water for yourself and he walks out of Izzy’s room just then, probably done with putting her to sleep.

“I’m sorry if Niall made you uncomfortable, he didn’t mean to be rude or anything,” he apologizes as the two of you walk together.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” you chuckle softly. “It was kind of a boost to my ego, if I’m being honest.”

Harry huffs with a smile and stops at the kitchen island, his fingers tapping on his lips as you grab yourself a bottled water.

“I’m… I’m sorry about… about what you told us earlier.”

Closing the fridge you look at him, seeing that he is kind of hesitant, like he is not sure he should have spoken up, but you appreciate the thought.

“It’s alright. Just water under the bridge,” you shrug.

“I just feel bad you had to go through that.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” you chuckle softly. “It sucked, yeah. I really thought I would live happily ever after with Keith, but instead I got a lesson.”

“A lesson?”

“When we broke up I was obviously on the floor, both literal and theoretical way. I thought it was my fault, that I did something wrong and that’s why he did what he did. I even thought that I’m not worthy of being loved and being in love again. Took me time to realize that no matter what happened, I still deserve to be happy and to find someone to love and who can love me back.”

It appears that your words touch him deep, staring back at you, he just nods shortly, not replying to anything you just said. You’re not sure he is so silent because he doesn’t really understand what you just talked about or if it hit too close to home. Whatever it is, he keeps it to himself.

“Good night, Harry,” you smile at him before walking out of the kitchen and up into your room.

You’re lying in bed already when you hear him open his room’s door and then close it and suddenly he is all you can think about. The way his eyes sometimes pierce down on you, the way he taps his fingers against his lips when he is thinking hard or the proud smile that always plasters across his face whenever he is watching Izzy do basically anything. But you do see some pain in those beautiful green eyes of his and your desire to take just the smallest fracture of it away grows, even though he is not showing any sign that he is willing to share it with you.

The next morning, despite having the day off, you wake up quite early. You toss and turn, try to fall back asleep a little longer, but you just can’t. It���s a nice, warm morning and you decide to take advantage of the little balcony attached to your room. Wrapping yourself in your fluffy robe you grab the book you started reading a few days ago and sit out, enjoying the morning Sun that’s shining right at you on the balcony.

You don’t even realize for a while that you’re not the only early riser. When your eyes wander down to the big oak tree that’s near Izzy’s playground, you spot Harry doing what appears to be yoga on a green mattress, wearing nothing else, just a pair of black shorts. No shirt.

For a moment you think about going inside, feeling like you’re invading his privacy in a way, but you have the right to enjoy the morning Sun on your balcony, it’s not your fault he decided to have yoga at the exact same time. And it’s just hard not to look at his shirtless body stretching in all directions, twisting and turning as he goes through the motions, his tattooed body on full display.

It’s been clear since the moment you laid eyes on him for the first time that Harry is probably the most beautiful man you’ve ever met and that includes all your exes. Paired with his kind of mysterious charisma and the way he takes care of his daughter, he is the whole package, but you have been busy with Izzy to dwell too long on how attractive he really is. But right now, you are not working and he is very much shirtless in the backyard, teasing you with thoughts you definitely shouldn’t be thinking about when it comes to your boss.

A shaky breath leaves your mouth as you let yourself watch him just for a few more minutes before heading back inside, not wanting to get busted for being a stalker and also not wanting to see him in more positions and have even more unholy thoughts about him.

But what you don’t know is that just as you step inside, Harry catches your figure disappearing in your room, knowing well you saw him too.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

-

taglist

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[nastybuckybarnes]

In a Heartbeat  -  Epilogue

Pairing: Fireman!Bucky X Reader

Summary: You’ve always been careful with your heart. With your condition, you don’t exactly have any other choice. The last time you let someone in, you paid the price. A price you don’t plan on paying again. Until Bucky comes in and shatters your carefully crafted world.

Warnings: Angst, Language, Minor Fluff

Word Count: 1.2K

A/n: Grande finale! Oof plz don’t kill me but it’s so cute I loved writing this series so much and low-key I’m sad it’s over but it was so fun to write. If y’all have any ideas for anything you want me to write in the future, send em my way!

Series Masterlist

~*~

The wind is crisp, biting at the exposed skin of his face, his fingers.

He doesn’t mind too much though.

The sky is gloomy, like it might rain later in the day. The clouds are a deep grey colour and there's sorrow on the wind. He can’t help but feel like it’s fitting.

“I uh, I’m not sure what to say, I guess. Bonnie said it would be good to come swing by for a little while but uh I’m not sure if she was right.” His voice is shaky and he closes his eyes, hating the silence that meets him.

“I got you flowers. Didn’t wanna get roses cause it didn’t feel right, so I got you some carnations. Nat said that they last a while too which is nice. They’re real pretty. A light yellow type. Maybe peach is a better description of the colour but-” he cuts himself off with a laugh, shaking his head.

“Here I am, trying to describe the colour of the flowers to you when I’m sure you’ve got other things you wanna hear about.”

Deep breath in, deep breath out, just like the two of you always practiced.

“She uh, she turns two in a few weeks, but you know that. I don’t know if I can do it though. Not without you.”

A cold drop of water splashes against his cheek and it’s only then that he notices the warm tears falling down his face.

“I miss you, doll. Every day it feels like it gets harder, and Bonnie says that’s normal, but I don’t know. I feel like it should get easier with time.” He huffs a breath and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Doesn’t help that Beccs is the spitting image of her mom, that’s for damn sure. But you knew that from the first moment you laid eyes on her. You were all smug about it too, said you gave her all the good genes.” He chuckles softly and shrugs his shoulders, “you were right about that.”

He stuffs his free hand into his pocket, rocking back on his heels and trying not to break down right then and there.

“She’s beautiful, (Y/n). Absolutely gorgeous. She’s stubborn, just like you. Real talkative too. I asked Steve when to expect this kinda stuff but he says each kid develops at a different speed.” He clenches his jaw tightly, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

“I miss you so fucking much. So damn much. I wish... fuck...” He stops, wiping away the tears and leaning his head back to allow the rain to clear his thoughts.

“I wish you were here. This whole ‘parenting’ gig would be a lot easier if you were here to do it with me. I feel like I can never do it right. And Beccs needs her mom. She’s got Nat, but she needs you.” He sniffles and wipes his nose on the back of his hand.

“I’m not saying this to make you feel bad, doll, I swear. I just... I can't keep it in. I feel like a failure. I need your help.” His bottom lip trembles and he makes the split-second decision not to hide it. No, he opens the floodgates and he lets the tears fall.

“Her uh, her favourite word is still ‘mama’. Got her sayin’ ‘dada’ though. And she absolutely adores Tommy. That’s her partner in crime.” He chuckles once, thinking about how the two interact.

A fresh wave of sorrow washes over him and he drops his head, looking down at the ground and letting out a shaky breath.

“I uh, I still can’t sleep in our bed. Steve says I should try but... I can’t. I need you there and I can’t sleep without you. I stay on the couch most nights. Nat gets worried but I think I’m okay. Yeah... I think I’ll be okay.” He lets out another pained breath then shakes his head and falls to his knees, eyes squeezed shut tightly.

“I miss you. I fucking miss you so much. And some days it just hits me so damn hard that I’ll never see your smile o-or hear you laugh. You won't be there t-to see Becca on her wedding day... you won’t hold your grandchildren... you won’t be there when she graduates and we won’t grow old together. No, you won’t see me all gross and wrinkled and old and you won’t tease me when I can barely lift my own damn body. Fuck, I’d give anything to have you back. I would give absolutely anything to see you again. I miss you so much and it’s so hard to live without you.”

He puts his face in his hands, shoulders shaking with sobs as he finally lets himself break.

And break, he does.

He shatters there on that gloomy Thursday morning, heart out for the gods to see, to pick apart. He bears his goddamn soul and he cries. He sobs and he all but screams out his sorrows.

It’s agony.

Living without you has been the hardest thing he’s ever done.

He’d lose his arm ten times over if it meant he could see you again.

When you died you took a piece of him with you, and he knows he’ll never get it back.

“I love you, Doll. So damn much. To the fucking moon and back.”

He kneels there for a long time, long enough for the rain to come and go, the sun peeking through the clouds and the birds emerging from their hiding spots.

He kneels there until his tears have run dry and his heart has stopped aching, his shoulders lighter even if the bags under his eyes are heavier.

“Daddy!” He glances over his shoulder, a wet smile spreading on his face as Rebecca bounds over to him clumsily.

He opens his arms and she runs straight into them, giggling madly and pushing her hair out of her face.

“Do you wanna give mommy the flowers this time?” He asks, handing her the bouquet of carnations. She nods eagerly, sliding out of his grip and gently placing the flowers down in front of the headstone.

“Love you, mommy,” she says quietly, pressing a kiss to the polished granite.

A gentle hand pats Bucky on the shoulder, and he looks up at the source.

Nat stands over his shoulder, a sad smile on her face.

“You’ve been here for a while. Thought we should come check up on you.” He nods, pushing himself to his feet and taking a deep breath.

“I’m okay now. Therapist said I should really talk to her, not just... lay down the flowers.” Natasha nods, pulling the man into a hug.

“We all miss her, it’s okay.” Bucky huffs out a breath, trying to fight the tears but they fall anyway.

“I want one too!” Rebecca exclaims, tugging on his pant leg. He chuckles and pulls away from Nat to pick up his daughter, holding her tightly to his chest and trying with all his might to keep it together, if only for her.

“C’mon. Let’s go get ice cream. My treat,” Nat says, ruffling Becca’s hair then leading the way to her car.

Bucky follows after, pausing for a moment and glancing over his shoulder, eyes tracing over the writing carved into the stone.

(Y/n) (Y/m/n) Barnes.

Beloved Mother, Daughter, Wife, and Friend.

Always on our minds.

Forever in our hearts.

~*~

Fin

[ava-achlys]

The Boyz NSFW Scenarios

Sohn Youngjae (Eric) - Kiss Me If You Can

Eric x fem! reader

Warnings: thigh fucking, unprotected sex, unrequited feelings, angst, smoking (just a lil bit sorry)

Everyone in this story is of age, let's just say you're a tad older than Eric. And yeah, can you tell I have a thing for shy Eric? I hope I didn't make it too OOC though. Also if you don't like smoking you can pretend you're just having a drink or something, I just felt like including it.

Eric had a crush on his sister's best friend. Little did he know the girl of his (wet) dreams would surprise him.

Your best friend's parents were out of town for the weekend, and she was left in charge of taking care of their house. Naturally, you were invited to stay for a sleepover, and you were excited, picking out cute outfits and games to bring with you. It's been a while since you got to hang out at their place, and you were looking forward to movie night and chilling in pajamas all day.

You ring the doorbell and a mop of pink hair greets you at the door. You blink in surprise before engulfing the boy in a tight hug. "Eric! You keep growing every time I see you~" you coo, ruffling his already messy pink hair. Eric blushes, his cheeks turning the color of his hair as he rubs the back of his neck shyly. "It's good to see you too, noona," he smiles, before yelling for his sister. The moment she came down to greet you, he ducked upstairs, uncharacteristically shy and quiet.

You hug your best friend and ask her if Eric's okay. She rolls her eyes and chuckles "He's just going through a late puberty I guess." You tilt your head, slightly confused, but you let the topic go, opting to ask about it again later. You head upstairs to her room to unpack your things, noticing that Eric's door was shut.

You two go about your day, catching up while you waited for your lunch order to be delivered. You had offered to pay for everyone's lunch, including Eric's which caused your friend to whine, saying having Eric around was going to ruin your fun. You brushed her off. Eric was a good kid, albeit a tad boisterous. Maybe he just had a lot on his mind, and you were determined to help him out. You go upstairs to tell him the food was here, but his door was locked and his music was turned up to the max.

You knocked loudly for a while, when suddenly the music stops, and you hear his feet shuffling. He opens the door a crack, his hair even messier than before, looking flushed and out of breath. "W-what is it noona?" He stammered. You smile at him, telling him his food had arrived and he was welcome to join you at the table. He gulped and nodded, saying he'd be down in a few before slamming the door shut. Again, you were confused. Did you do something wrong? You shake your head gently and go back downstairs, where your friend had already started eating her food, looking at you like a deer in headlights, and apologising around a mouthful of food. You just chuckle and start eating too.

Finally Eric arrives, padding softly to the table, dressed in an oversized sweatsuit and fuzzy unicorn slippers. You internally coo at how adorable he looks, and you can't help but reach out a hand to ruffle his locks. He beams at you as he thanks you for the food, and he digs right in. You naturally pull him into the conversation, and just like old times, all three of you are having a loud conversation, mainly the two siblings bickering and you laughing at their antics. You catch Eric's eyes and they're sparkling with joy and you're happy that he's comfortable around you again.

Evening rolls around and you get ready for a movie night with your best friend. You decide to watch the movie in her room, since she wants to try out her new projector. You change into a thin tank top, cute lacy panties and some loose pajama shorts. Your friend wolf whistles at your outfit, and you chuck a pillow at her, finally settling down to watch a new horror movie. You curl up under the blankets, shrieking and hugging each other during the jumpscares.

Eric hides away in his room after dinner, his head in his hands. He's slightly disappointed with himself, having dyed his hair your favorite shade of pink, and you hadn't said a word about it all day. Not to mention you nearly caught him jacking off before lunch. He splays out on his bed, hearing you yelp in fear from the next room, thinking about how he'd hold you close and protect you, even if he too was scared of the movie. He lets his imagination wander, thinking about how nice it would be to cuddle with you, to hold your warm hands, to rest his cheek against your hair.

Eric groans into a pillow. You never saw him as more than a kid, just your best friend's little brother, he thinks bitterly. He was glad that you bothered to include him in your activitties earlier that day, because he adored every moment spent with you. Your laugh, your smile, the way you'd pat his head affectionately. You were always so sweet to him, and he didn't want to risk this friendship. He'll take this secret to the grave, and he swears he'll try to behave as normally as possible tomorrow. For now, he decides to head downstairs for a glass of water, realising his throat was dry.

He tiptoes past his sister's room, and it's quiet, save for his sister's snoring. He's surprised that you two fell asleep so easily despite just finishing a horror movie. He shrugs and continues downstairs when he stops dead in his tracks. You were looking out the kitchen window, smoking a cigarette, your beautiful features illuminated by the soft moonlight. His throat runs even drier when he realises you're just in your lacy panties and a thin tanktop that left little to the imagination.

He gulps audibly and you turn to see him standing in the kitchen doorway, stock still. He's about to bolt back upstairs when you call his name, grabbing his wrist. He turns slowly back to you, keeping his eyes firmly on your bunny slippers. "Why are you still up, Eric?" Your soft voice snaps you out of his reverie. "J-just wanted to get some water, don't mind me," he chuckled weakly. You grow concerned, and watched him as he waddled to the fridge, downing some cold water hurriedly. He chokes on the liquid in his haste, and you rush to help him.

He stiffens as your rub your warm hands up and down his back soothingly. He bites his lips to suppress the moan bubbling in his throat, mentally willing his raging hard-on to go back down before you noticed it. "Mmmh, I'm fine, noona, t-thank you," he mumbles. You reach up to run your fingers through his hair, chastising him gently. "Be careful, Eric, that could have been dangerous," you murmured. Time seemed to stop as you both stood there in silence, your nails pleasantly caressing his scalp, and he leans into your touch. You hum as you played with his pink locks.

"I forgot to mention, you look gorgeous with this pink hair. Did you know it's my favorite shade of pink?" Eric blushes again, shaking his head, pretending he didn't know. He looks down at your lips, curved into a sweet smile just for him. "You're gorgeous, noona, can I kiss you please?" He breathes, not realising he said that out loud. His eyes widen in shock as he hears his voice betray his thoughts, slapping a hand over his mouth. You're dazed, late realization hitting you like a truck. His shyness, the locked door, messy hair, panting, and the awkward walking. Speaking of which, you glance down to see a tent in his sweatpants, and you gulp nervously.

Eric looks like he's about to cry and run away again, but you hold his hand, pulling it away from his mouth. You look into his eyes and cup his red cheeks. "Do you mean it? Do you want to kiss me?" you ask him gently. He nods slowly, shutting his eyes tight. You lean in and gently press your lips against his, eliciting a shaky moan from the boy as he nervously grips your waist. You kiss him deeply and slowly, licking into his mouth everytime he moaned. His tongue pressed against yours, and you keen at how the cold metal of his tongue piercing rubs against your lips.

You stood there, making out sweetly, when he picks you up and sits you on the counter, slotting himself between your legs. Finally you two pull apart and he rests his forehead against yours, breathing deeply. "That was..." you trail off, unsure of what to say. "-better than anything I ever dreamed of," Eric finishes, his hands fidgeting with the hem of your top. A smile creeps onto your face, and you decide to tease him. "Yeah? What else did you dream about me, baby?" Eric's breath stutters at the pet name, and he sinks down so your pussy was at his eye level, his warm hands rubbing your thighs.

You look down at him, panties getting wet with excitement. "Shall I show you noona?" He exhales, his index finger barely grazing the wet patch on your panties. His mind was running a thousand miles an hour, blood pounding in his ears. Was he about to ruin this friendship? He was about to back out and apologise but when you nodded yes, he dived right in. He kissed your folds through your panties and nudged your throbbing clit with his nose, causing you to moan. Your thighs start shaking from the anticipation and he pulls your panties off, mouth watering at the sight of your glistening pussy.

He leans back down and starts licking up your folds, sucking harshly on your clit. He laps hungrily at your pussy, sticking his tongue into your hole every now and then. You mewl at the feeling, grabbing his pink locks and he moans at the sweet taste of your juices and the way you pull his hair. His hot breath on your most sensitive parts sends shivers down your spine and you yelp when he reaches up to grab at your breasts as he continued to make out with your cunt. He thumbs your hard nipples as he fucks his tongue into you, spit and pussy juices running down his chin.

You push his face deeper into you and your other hand is clamped over your mouth, barely concealing your delightful whimpers and moans. Eric revels in your sounds, chest swelling with pride at how good he's making you feel. "I'm so close, baby," you mumble, and he shoves two fingers into you as he sucks and laps at your clit. He pumps his fingers into you as his other hand massages your tit, and you're going crazy with all the stimulation. A few more thrusts of his fingers is all it takes before you're clenching on his digits, thighs shaking as you ride your orgasm out, as Eric rubs and kisses your thighs.

You lean back onto the counter, panting harshly, as Eric slowly pulls his fingers out, staring at the glistening digits before putting them in his mouth. He sucks them clean, moaning at the taste of your cum, and leans over you to capture your lips, making you taste yourself. He nuzzles your neck and grinds his hard cock on your thigh through his sweats. You want to return the favor, but you don't have any condoms. "Can I... can I fuck your thighs please noona?" Eric bashfully asks, and you want to kiss him breathless again at how innocent he looks, asking permission for such a filthy thing.

You pull him close and he takes that as a yes, pulling down his sweats that had a wet patch on the front from all his leaking precum. You eye his impressive length, teasing him for not wearing any underwear. "It's as if you were planning this the whole time, huh, cutie?" He smiles at the new petname, but shakes his head no. He definitely hadn't planned on fucking you on the kitchen counter tonight, but the universe has its ways of making his wettest dreams come true, apparently. He gathers a mix of the slick from your throbbing pussy and the precum off his aching cock and slathers your inner thighs with it, before pressing them together.

He slots his cock between your smooth thighs and he groans at the feeling. He immediately starts thrusting his hips, his balls slamming into the back of your thighs. You know your legs are going to be bruised the next morning with how hard he's gripping your flesh, but you were starting to enjoy being manhandled and used by someone younger than you, who you never really considered more than a kid. Here he was, proving you wrong, and you loved every single moment of it. He watches as your tits bounce with every snap of his hips and he's starting to go cross-eyed with pleasure. You reach up to pull his hair again, knowing how much he likes it. Soon enough, he cums all over your torso, milky white fluid splattering across your heaving chest and tummy.

He rocks slowly to a stop and pulls out his softening dick from your thighs. You pull him in for another kiss, a gentle one this time, as you quietly thank him for showing you a good time. He helps clean you up in silence and you both head back upstairs, sharing one last kiss before going into seperate bedrooms before your friend wakes up and suspects anything. Eric falls asleep with his heart full and he can't wait to share more moments like that with you. Morning comes quickly and Eric joins you both for breakfast, and then spends most of the day with you again. He basks in the extra attention you shower him with, happy to make you laugh and sharing food and cuddles on the couch.

All too soon it's time for you to go home and Eric pulls you aside to speak privately. He plays with your fingers nervously as he stammers out an invitation to a picnic date the next weekend. You chuckle, pulling your hands out of his grasp and ruffle his hair the way he likes it. "I don't think so, baby. You're cute and all, and I had a lot of fun last night, but this-" you gesture between the two of you, "-can't be a thing. You're my best friend's little brother. I'm sorry cutie. But I'll see you next week, alright?" You kiss him on the cheek and pat it apologetically, before grabbing your things and heading off to your car.

Eric balls his hands into fists tightly, eyes shimmering with tears, a bitter taste left in his mouth as he watches you drive off. He can't breathe and it feels like he just got stabbed in the chest. He should have known it was too good to be true. And the worst part is: if you ever decide to ask him for another night like that, he wouldn't dare say no. He'd please you forever if you asked him to; never mind the bleeding hole in his heart. He'd do anything to bring you happiness, even if it meant sacrificing his own.

A/N: I wrote this off the top of my head and it's unedited, so please forgive me for any errors, I'll come back to edit soon or even change the title. Also please forgive me for hurting our sweet baby Youngjae 🙏���😭

[ptergwen]

from one kid to another

w/c: 6.0k

warnings: mentions of drinking, lots of swearing, implied smut, and angst at times

summary: it was a mistake, a beautiful one that you didn’t make on your own

a/n: this genuinely is my favorite thing i’ve ever written :,) i say that a lot but this time i mean it, it’s really special i think and i so so so hope y’all do too <3 enjoy my loves

-

there’s only one thing in life that testing positive for is actually positive.

depending on the situation, obviously. yours isn’t ideal, or planned or a blessing or whatever people say. it’s a gigantic mistake that you didn’t realize you made until a minute ago.

you’d noticed something was wrong when your time of the month came and all you experienced was the symptoms. cramps, cravings, everything except your actual period. as everyone is pretty much taught to do, you ran to the closest drug store for a pregnancy test. what the hell else could it be? you messed around a few weeks ago, so there’s a possibility.

your heart felt like it was going to explode out of your chest the whole time you waited for the results. you’d thought of calling tom over for support, but there are a couple of reasons why you couldn’t do that. you realized you made the right decision when your timer for the test went off.

two red lines. you’re pregnant. you’re pregnant, and your best fucking friend is the father.

where do you go from here?

the test falls from your hand and hits the floor with a mocking clank. you slide down until your back is against the bathtub. well, you’re fucked. what an ironic word choice.

the fact that you aren’t ready in the slightest to be a parent when you’re still growing up yourself is one thing. it’s another that this could ruin the most important relationship you’ve ever had.

no, tom won’t be mad. he’s never once fought with or even raised his voice at you. in your times of need, he’s been the one to uplift you and kiss your puffy cheeks dry. no matter how he takes this, you know it won’t be out on you. he is half responsible.

but, with how you left things the last time you spoke, you’re not sure you’ll be able to get past it.

tom is alarmingly good at hiding how he truly feels. you always tease him that it’s because he’s a gemini. he’ll come back with shut up, i’m an actor and stick his nose in the air to give you the full image. in all seriousness, it does take a toll on how well he can communicate.

you’ve seen it in small ways, like when he brings you along for press days and uses unenthusiastic smiles to cover up his yawns. how he’ll be polite in a conversation with people he’d rather not speak to, then mumble about it once you’re home. he tries to put forward the “appealing” parts of himself even though he’s more than them.

tom’s biggest communication issue is that he’s been in love with you since year nine and hasn’t said a word about it. you’ve yet to figure that one out.

you two became friends while tom was starring in billy elliot. his schedule was so scattered between shows and school, so he struggled to balance both. he often had to stay late for extra help on the lessons. you’d also been there a few times. you worked better in the classroom, and he was grateful he didn’t have to be alone with the teacher.

most kids made fun of tom for his interest in theater, to his face and behind his back. not you. you thought it was just incredible that someone in your own classes worked at the west end. you’d told him on your way home one night.

he’d heard you before he saw you. “you’re tom, right?” you asked from behind him, the two of you making your way through the hall. the question sounded friendly, and it wasn’t every day kids were nice to him. tom stopped walking so you could catch up. “yes, and you are?” you gave him a small smile, books clutched to your chest. he instantly returned it.

“y/n. i heard you’re in billy elliot?” you laughed at your understatement, then corrected yourself. “that you are billy elliot, i mean. that’s so cool.” “oh, i am. thank you,” he chuckled back, a full grin taking over his face. you were both walking again, you by tom’s side. “i was hoping to come see you soon.” your voice got quieter as you told him, like you were nervous.

tom never had much luck with girls, not at this point in his life. this was an opportunity to change that. at the very least, to make a new friend. he offered something you said yes to without a beat of hesitation. “what if i got you the tickets?”

from then on, you began talking during class and not only when it ended. tom really knew how to keep the conversation going, telling story after story that left you laughing so much your teacher would shush you. you’d eventually moved to hangouts at either of your houses. harrison came into the mix at some point, the three of you forming your own group.

the difference between tom and harrison was that while harrison linked with other girls, tom was only interested in you. he’d gotten a crush on you pretty fast, if he was being honest. it might have been your shared sense of humor or the way you said his name.

thomas, when he was being cheeky. tommy, which took the place of a pet name. even regular tom. that might have been his favorite. he loved how it rolled off your tongue. he loved, and still loves, you.

you’d gone to all of tom’s performances you possibly could, the ones for school theater included. you also gave him the push to take his talents to hollywood. tom was afraid he wasn’t cut out for the big screen, that he needed more practice and experience first. you told him that if this was what he wanted to do, he had to start somewhere. why wait?

tom then landed his first movie role in the impossible at the age of fifteen. he’d received tons of praise and almost gotten nominated for an academy award, all because you convinced him to audition. you played a huge part in keeping him grounded when he was between films, and caught him up on whatever schoolwork he’d missed.

you practically zoomed to tom’s house when he was announced as the next spider-man. you’d been constantly refreshing every social media platform marvel was on since tom became a finalist for the part. that process was probably the most difficult experience he’s ever gone through. you’d know, having heard all about it from tom.

the two of you celebrated along with the rest of tom’s family that night. you kept giving him little proud of you squeezes on his shoulder or knee. tom is eternally indebted to you for being the most supportive of everything he does.

he of course sends the support right back. although he went down the movie star path, acting wasn’t for you. you’d gone off to university and studied hard as hell and aced all your shit. tom quizzed you on material whenever you needed. he wanted to help you somehow, and this was all you’d let him do.

he’d offered to pay off your loans and any other expenses necessary because he had the money to do that now. you refused every single time, not trying to become dependent on him. he admired your drive, yet hated it at the same time. everything you’d done for him, it was his turn to be the caretaker. it should’ve been.

whenever tom wrapped filming for the holidays and came back home, you were always preparing for final exams. he kept you company, content with simply being in your presence. you typed away on your keyboard and read over notes until your eyes burned. tom occasionally brought you snacks, tea, asked how you were and what he could do.

sometimes, he would have to cut your study time short. he’d say it wasn’t healthy or you were overdoing it and to come relax with him for a bit. other times, tom let you be. he didn’t want to get in the way of your already stressful assignments. those were the nights you’d fall asleep in front of your laptop. drool on your chin, hunched over at your desk.

tom made sure to tuck you in, press a light kiss to whatever part of your face wasn’t covered in spit, then let himself out. he knew where your spare key was, so he used that. you’d wake up to a “Fell asleep studying again. Rest today x” text the next morning.

when it came time for you to graduate, tom was on the first flight there. it was during another round of reshoots for chaos walking. he respectfully told doug that he’d have to work around his schedule or replace him, which couldn’t be done so late into filming. tom didn’t care that it made him seem like a prick. he was getting to you no matter what he had to do.

he’d earned plenty of stares and whispers from people as he took his seat in the crowd. he was a proper celebrity now, so he expected it. his solution was to ignore everything and chat with your family about how proud they were of you, tom the most. he saw you go from a kid attempting algebra equations to an adult at her uni graduation. you’ve really grown up together.

it was why he teared up hearing them call your name, seeing you beam as you walked across the stage. your mom grabbed his hand and nodded at him, like she could tell exactly what was going through his head.

you ran right up to tom after the ceremony was over, leaping into his arms. he let out a couple of chuckles as he spun you around. “i didn’t think you’d make it,” you’d admitted, happy yet sad tears in your eyes. tom put you down so he could pull you in for a real hug. “i’ll always be wherever you are, y/n,” he said into your ear, rocking you while you gripped at his suit collar.

flash forward to a year later, your career is finally taking off, tom’s is flourishing like it has been for years, and you’re pregnant with his child. you’re trying to recall the series of events that led you to this moment.

you were both drunk, blackout drunk because the only reason you remember sleeping together is that you woke up naked in the same bed. harrison’s bed.

he threw a housewarming party for himself, having recently moved out of tom’s and the other boys’ place. the three of them, sam, and you were all in attendance, along with a lot of others you hadn’t met.

neither you nor tom could figure out where he knew all those people from. he’d clinged to you two for the most part, more so you now with tom usually away. they could have been from work. harrison is breaking into the business himself, small roles here and there. tom actually met him in your school’s theater program, then he introduced him to you, ten years ago already.

sam entertained himself by making concoctions with the snacks harrison set out. harry got together a playlist for the party. harrison and tuwaine struck up a conversation with some of harrison’s actor friends. that left you and tom alone, out of stuff to do, and with one way to fix it.

“drink?” tom had asked you, a smirk playing on his lips. “love one,” you hummed back and set off for the kitchen. the two of you raided harrison’s liquor cabinet, grabbing his biggest bottle of wine. he’d dumbly pointed it out during the house tour he gave you before the other guests arrived.

you were about to search for glasses, but tom’s fingers threaded through yours. he gently tugged you away and nodded behind him. “let’s bring this upstairs. seems much more fun there,” he’d murmured over the music, a grin breaking across your face.

tom is big on clubbing and socializing, however, you aren’t. he comes up with ways to get you out of these events, just in case.

“we can break in harrison’s bed for him,” you said as a completely harmless joke, no intentions of that becoming your reality later on. spoiler alert: it did. “and how are we gonna do that?” tom quirked a suggestive eyebrow and breathed out a laugh as you dragged him towards the stairs. despite yourself, you’d giggled at his words.

not one drink in either of you yet, and you were stumbling and cracking up as you ran upstairs. you’d pulled tom by your still attached hands into what you remembered as harrison’s room. tom shut the door, locked it, saying under his breath that would be a “convenient investment” for him to make as well.

he took out a bottle opener that he must have put in his pocket at some point and got to work on your wine, you getting comfortable on the new mattress. the two of you passed it to the other after every sip, tom licking the taste of your lip gloss off his own lips every so often.

the equivalent of three drinks in, you were making out. both of you were just tipsy at this point, tom holding you by your hips as you lied down, your legs around his waist. god, he could’ve done this sober. he’d dreamed about kissing you, really kissing you since he was fourteen. you’d always felt like you two had something more. ah, there it was.

halfway through the bottle got you past the next two bases, and you were ready for the fourth and ultimate one by the time you shook the last few drops onto the tip of your tongue. tom groaned at the sight of that, drawing your half naked body in closer to his.

you two had forgotten to use protection in each of your drunken states. without a doubt, you both would’ve agreed to a condom had your minds not been everywhere but where they should have.

you’d woken up first the morning after, panic immediately coursing through your veins thicker than blood. a fully nude and sleeping tom had you in his embrace, arms secured around your middle, facing you. you gasped when you made the connection, loudly enough to wake tom up. his long eyelashes tickled your face, a confused pout on his lips. uh... um...

“did we fucking...” you trailed off, no words to describe whatever unfolded. “fuck?” tom finished for you. a very blunt explanation, but true nevertheless. “looks like it,” he rasped, pout changing into a smile. your face fell at the vague memories of how you spent your night.

you definitely wanted to do it. just, he’s your best friend, who’s seen you at your least sexy moments over the years. when you were sick, had breakdowns from stress, you name literally anything, tom was there. it took one bottle of cheap wine for him to forget that?

the real answer was no. tom is entirely in love with you, for a decade at that. you were beginning to discover you feel the same, only you had no idea he already loves you. you’d assumed this was meant to be merely a hookup. from the frown your face held, he’d thought you were regretting it. oh, were you both so wrong.

“um... we don’t have to talk about it,” tom told you halfheartedly, under the impression that’s what you preferred. you physically felt yourself get weaker in tom’s strong arms. he’s not interested. “yeah, that’s probably for the best. i...” you were lying. his heart shrunk, shriveled up inside his chest. she doesn’t love me like that.

“you have to go. aren’t you behind on some emails?” tom hoped you didn’t hear his voice strain from the tears pushing at his eyes. “right. almost forgot, thanks.” you’d plastered on a smile, slipping out of his grasp. a tear rolled down his cheek, so he wiped it away before you noticed. you’d already gotten out of the bed and begun picking your clothes up off the floor.

“i’ll drive you home, then.” he rolled on to his other side, you thought so he could give you privacy to change. it was that, and also because he was crying. he couldn’t hold it in. tom is naturally an emotional person. imagine finding out the love you’ve had almost half your life is unreciprocated. it’s soul crushing.

you two found harrison snoring and on top of tuwaine as you left the house. no silly remarks or shared glances for the first time in ten years. tom couldn’t muster anything up, and you felt numb.

the drive was painful. you’d said your goodbyes after tom pulled up to the curb, which held an odd weight to them. once you were out of the car, a sob wracked through him, banging on the steering wheel and not giving a shit about the loud horn going off. you collapsed face first onto your bed. hours passed by while you stared at nothing and contemplated everything.

since it happened, you haven’t spoken much. small talk over text every few days or so, both of you pretending things are normal for the other’s sake. about a month later, today, is when you found out you’re pregnant.

there’s no use wallowing in any of this. you need to figure out your next move, one that should probably involve tom. first, you want to talk to someone else. you want other opinions and a voice in your head that isn’t your own. harrison gets a text from you saying to come over now, the now in all caps. he does.

you let him in after the second knock, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. however torn you are, you must look it. shirt balled in your fists, lip quivering. he keeps his eyes on yours as he steps inside, pushing the door shut behind him. this is all becoming too real. “y/n, are you okay?”

you’re about to cry in three, two...

“haz, i fucked up,” you choke out, tears unable to stay at bay. he takes you into his arms for a hug. half your face is hidden in his shoulder, hands clutching at his back. he lets you cry it out, holding you until your heavy breathing steadies. “what’s happened?” harrison asks quietly, both of you leaving the hug.

“if- if i tell you, you can’t freak out. you can’t tell anyone else, either,” you instruct, searching his eyes for certainty that he won’t under any circumstances. “i won’t, y/n/n,” he assures you and puts an encouraging hand on your arm. your heart pounding abnormally fast, you spit it out. your first time saying it aloud. “i’m pregnant.”

harrison flinches and doesn’t even try to conceal it. he takes his hand off of you, worry swimming across his features. he blinks at you, unsure of what to say. you’d react the same way, maybe worse, so you don’t blame him. a discussion you, him, and tom had a couple years back replays in his mind.

the three of you were talking about your futures, seeing as you were close to living them. when tom asked you two where you stood on having your own families, you didn’t hesitate to answer. “nope, the factory is closed for a long ass time.” until you were in your thirties, you aimed to focus on yourself. harrison distinctly remembered because of how you phrased it.

“you’re... you... wow,” is all he replies with. you head over to the couch, more tears welling up in your eyes. do the pregnancy hormones act up this early? harrison follows you over and sits down next to you with an awkward clearing of his throat. “do you want to be pregnant?” he has to ask because he’s not sure if he should congratulate you or what.

“i don’t know,” you answer honestly, voice airy. your eyes are fixed on the wall in front of you. you haven’t given yourself time to think about it. there are so many reasons you don’t, and a single one you do. “do you, um, know who the dad is?” harrison glances over at you. “yeah.” your voice cracks. you’re both afraid for him to ask what he does next.

he shifts so he’s sitting up. “can i know?” a sniffle passing through you, you finally look at him. “it’s tom,” you say it before you lose the nerve to. harrison’s face doesn’t change this time. he isn’t surprised you and tom went there. he’d seen your friendship growing into more the older you all got. what he can’t believe is where it took you.

his best friend pregnant, and his other best friend responsible for it.

“when did you...” “at your party,” you explain, bringing your legs up so they’re criss cross on the couch. “i thought you were gone a little too long.” he says that to try cheering you up. you appreciate the effort, but it doesn’t work. you’re not in a joking mood. he’ll stick to the main issue. “so, have you told him?”

“clearly not,” you scoff, not at him but at what you two have gotten yourselves into. “y/n... i think you should tell him,” harrison sighs out, then adds, “whether you keep it or not.” “why? that would ruin everything, it already has.” you’re getting angry now, which plunges you into angry crying, voice unsteady as you go on.

“the last time i saw tom was that night, and i guess it meant more to me than it did to him because we haven’t talked about it at all. he didn’t want to.” you swipe the back of your hand across your eyes, gaze stern compared to harrison’s soft one.

he drapes an arm around your shoulders, you curling into him with another sniffle. he doesn’t say anything for a minute, then he tries again. “i know you, y/n, and i know tom. you’ll kill yourselves not talking about this.” he’s right, no shit he is. avoiding telling tom how you feel, and your pregnancy on top of that, it’s eating you up inside. it’s swallowing you whole.

“what if he doesn’t want to be a dad? or- or i’m a shit mum?” you croak out, your doubts getting the best of you. “i can barely take care of myself. what am i supposed to do with a baby?” you’re leaning forward with your hands pressing into your temples. harrison’s hand moves to your upper back. “i- i don’t think i should have them. i... we can’t,” you conclude.

“tom loves kids,” he gives you a gentle reminder. “why would his own be the exception?” another good point, yet you still have rebuttles. “right, he’s a godfather and he’s really good with them and all that, but i’m not the right person, and it’s a terrible time,” you tell him all at once, in a rush to get your words out before harrison’s sway you.

“he’s never around, i’m doing my own stuff. we’re not meant for this.” you lift your head out of your hands and sit back on the couch. harrison returns his hands to his lap. he’s frowning at you, which you see from the corner of your eye. “i’m not going to force you to have the baby. just saying you have options.”

yeah, really shitty ones.

“either way, talk to tom.” harrison says this more like a demand so you’ll take his advice into actual consideration. “at least about the hookup.” your teeth sink into your lower lip, eyes watering for the nth time already.

you have no choice because he’s right again. you’ll never move on from what happened unless you and tom address it.

the next morning, you do what harrison told you to and invite tom over. he replied saying he was on his way maybe a minute later. he’s nervous to see you because yeah, but more so looking forward since it’s been so long. you’re so nauseous you barely have room for nerves. it’s morning sickness with a hint anxiety.

it feels almost normal when he first gets here, no how’ve you been and what are you up to these days? being as close as you and tom are, you’re not capable of such a dry conversation. personally, you still feel uneasy while he recounts a golfing incident him and harry got into the other day. you know something he doesn’t.

“when i tell you we flew, we flew,” tom makes a pushing forward motion with both hands. “right into the tree. i think harry, like, dented part of his face.” he lets out a breathy laugh, you forcing out one of your own. you’d be more interested without the fact that you’re expecting a child, his child, at the back of your mind.

tom exhales, shifting to face you on your couch. it’s funny how different things were when you and harrison sat in these same spots yesterday. so much has and is about to change.

“they had to send another golf cart to come get us. it was wild.” “it sounds wild,” you hollowly agree. he can tell you’re not too invested in hearing about harry’s terrible driving skills, so he changes the subject. “anyway, harrison told me he came over last night?” your stomach drops, heat coming over your whole body.

“did... did he say why?” you murmur with a look of urgency in your eyes. tom shrugs a shoulder, and casually. there’s no way he knows. “no, was he supposed to?” his tone stays playful, which you can thankfully tell. that puts you more at ease. “no. no, never mind. i would’ve asked you to come, but...” you’re searching through your catalog of excuses.

thank god tom says something else because you can’t find a good one. “it’s alright. i actually, um, had a work call.” a small smile spreads across his face, a proud one. intrigued, you raise both eyebrows. “what’d you talk about?” tom twiddles with his fingers in his lap. “i’ve been offered an audition for this really amazing film. everything works out, it’ll be huge for me.”

you’re smiling back this time, putting a hand over one of his. “woah, that’s incredible. i’m so happy for you, tom.” you lock your fingers with his from the back of his hand. he looks down at them, humbly shaking his head. “when is it?” “a few weeks from today. it films in brazil...”

oh. you can’t tell him now. it’s not worth him missing out on a milestone in his career for a baby you’re not sure you should have. that would be so unfair of you to ask. what are you going to do, not support his dreams for the first time in a literal decade? and, you’d call yourself his best friend through it all?

you guess this also means the way you feel about tom is one sided. he’s okay with leaving you after the most intimate moment you two have ever shared. you’ll dance around it the rest of your lives. better yet, act like the night never even happened. that’s not so easy to do when you’ve got a permanent reminder of it.

the thought makes you sick to your stomach. so sick, you could...

while tom is talking more about what the audition entails, you suddenly bolt up from the couch. you run for the bathroom, a hand cupped over your mouth. his face twists up in confusion from your disappearance. tom calls, “y/n/n?” out to you, but you can’t respond because your head is in the toilet. he rushes in when he hears you retching.

he gets onto the floor with you. you’re bent over, puking your guts out, back in another place where your life changed forever less than twenty four hours ago. tom pulls your hair out of your face and into a makeshift ponytail with one hand, his other on your back. that’s all you have in you. you stay over the toilet just to be sure.

saliva drips from your mouth, making you cough roughly, the sound echoing. tom moves so he’s next to you, keeping his hand in your hair and not caring one bit about the smell because he loves you and he’s utterly concerned about what he witnessed.

“love, are you sick?” he coos, searching for your eyes. they water from the intensity of everything. “morning sickness,” you answer without thinking first. shit. shit, shit, shit. it came out of you like more vomit, word vomit. there’s no going back now.

tom lets go of your hair with his eyes still on yours. his hand on your back then leaves you, fingers trailing down your body as they go. “morning sickness,” he repeats, putting it together. “you’re pregnant?” guilt taking over your features, you sit across from tom. you’re once again leaning against the bathtub, him against the counter.

“this isn’t how i wanted you to find out,” you admit and bring your knees up to your chest. “i took a test yesterday. it was positive.” your arms wrap around your legs, you now tearing up because tom figured it out. a shaky breath passes his lips. “i haven’t gone to my doctor or anything yet, but i-“

“are you keeping the baby?” tom cuts in. not to judge you for your choice, to find out what the fuck is going on before he travels across the world. you tighten your arms around yourself, grabbing your wrist. “i haven’t decided.” he gives you an understanding nod and reaches out for you. you dodge him. he might not want to do that after what you say next.

“tom, i... there’s more,” you whimper out. “yeah. i’m... i’m listening,” tom croaks, unable to hold in his infinite amount of emotions for a multitude of reasons. he’s losing you a second time. more tears spill from your eyes as you break the news, the news that will destroy what he’s been working towards his entire life.

“the baby is yours.” his face relaxes, looking almost relieved when you confess it. “when we slept together, uh,” you’re sure it’s obvious enough that you don’t have to go over the details. he’s tearing up himself. you reluctantly continue. “if you still want to audition, i get it. we don’t have to do this.”

“fuck the audition. fuck the whole movie. all of my movies, really,” tom surprises you by blurting out. he moves in until your legs are touching. “i’m staying. even if you don’t have the baby, i have to be here.” you watch in disbelief as he wipes away what are actually happy tears. “really? i was scared you’d resent me for it, or hate me even,” you mumble to him.

“y/n, what? why would i ever do that?” tom places a hand on your cheek, touch gentle and filled with love. you part your legs so he can be closer to you. he takes the space between them, thumb brushing over your skin. “i didn’t think you’d want to deal with all of this. i thought that night was only a hookup for you.” your voice wobbles under his gaze.

“no, are you kidding? i thought that’s what you thought.” he’s smiling now, eyes twinkling along with it. what he’s been meaning to tell you since you were only kids finally comes out. “i’ve loved you as long as i’ve known you, y/n. i always imagined myself doing this with you.” his words draw a quiet laugh from you, a happy one. “i know we were drunk, but i meant it all.”

the sincerity in his voice, the warmth in his eyes, they make you cry all over again. you’re getting used to it.

“i love you, tom,” you lean into him with a sniffle and a grin, his forehead now resting on yours, using his thumb to catch one of your tears. “i really do.” “i love you forever. i always have,” tom speaks lowly, breath fanning across your face. your hands grab at his shoulders. “so, you’ll stay? you’ll do this with me?” he reminds you of what he said before, this time a promise.

“forever.”

-

you ended up having the baby, and tom held your hand through the entire labor. nikki was holding his other hand, your mom holding your other hand. harrison had originally been in the room as well. when you started to push, he got freaked out and had to leave. your support system remained strong either way.

despite his repulsion of your daughter’s birth, you and tom decided to make harrison her godfather. he eventually became the godfather of your other two children also, which you had a few years later.

tom took a paternity leave from the industry so he could be with you and jamie. he’d also used his time off to propose to you, something else he fantasized about since year eleven in school. it wasn’t anything too grand because the whole world was already buzzing about you two, and a big gesture felt too impersonal with everything you’d been through together.

he did it in the form of passing a note, something you often did in class to avoid being scolded by your teacher for talking. the note came with a pencil to check off either the yes or no box, “will you marry me?” written above them. anyone else would have found it so unromantic, but you giggled as you checked off yes before your lips crashed into his smiling ones.

you were married shortly after the proposal, jamie as your flower girl and all your friends and family in attendance.

to do what he loved and stay with the people he loved, tom created his own version of hollywood in london. he took it upon himself to assemble a team and make a production company. harry behind the camera, harrison and tuwaine in the films, and tom either starring alongside them or directing. they give so many young actors tons of opportunities.

you eventually went back to work, too. it was like you’d never left, coworkers offering endless hugs and going over what you missed, not that you struggled getting into it. tom was there to celebrate every promotion, every compliment from your boss, every part of your life. jamie was also there, then liam and lucy.

all three of them are running around the house right now, putting on shoes and collecting their supplies for school. you take a sip of the orange juice liam didn’t finish with a lighthearted eye roll. tom chuckles as he passes you in the kitchen, getting the kids’ lunchboxes for them to minimize the chaos.

“you have that pitch meeting today, right?” he slips his hands through the lunchbox handles and walks over to you. “mhm,” you hum, mouth full with juice. his lips press to your temple, giving your waist a one handed squeeze. “you’ll smash it. always do.” “thanks, tommy.” putting down the cup, you reach up to button whatever parts of his shirt he didn’t have time to.

“aren’t you doing a casting? for the new script they sent?” you wonder aloud and smooth down the cotton material. “me and harry. should be interesting,” he remarks, you giving him a quick kiss back on his chin. they tend to have their artistic differences. “good luck with that. you do drop off, i’ll do pick up?” you pat one of the lunchboxes around his arms.

“deal.” tom goes in for a kiss on your lips, then a chorus of dad, we have to go led by jamie rings through the house. with a knowing smile, you push at his chest. “see you later. love you.” “love you, holland,” he bites back a grin of his own. his last name, now yours, suits you perfectly.

[redfoxline]

Out of my Chest #2 - a FengQing ficlet

So, a few days ago I saw that tweet from Frace and couldn't get the idea out of my mind. (please see tweet here!!) I didn't have time for a full fic, so here comes the ficlet for my "Out of my chest" series. Thank you, pal, for feeding my creativity wheel!

Communication is key

Summary: Muqing and Fenxin developed a special non-verbal communication over the years and everyone goes "Huuuuh??" about it, especially Muqin's assholish boyfriend, who Fengxin hates and who Muqin wouldn't be really interested in dating in the first place, if he didn't think Fengxin was straight.

Fenxin and Muqing are friends - reluctant at first, but Muqing really wanted to make friends with the nice kid at school, and he needed to play nice with the stupid jock, so be it.

At first, both Muqing and Fenxin played nice (somewhat). However, Fenxin isn’t one to pretend and soon he regularly sends jabs at Muqing - Fenxin thinking Muqing only wants to be friends with Xielian because he’s the most popular kid at school. Things escalate, and soon Fenxin and Muqing are well-known for their constant fighting.

It gets so bad that, after a few months of teachers ignoring the problem, Xielian has to intervene to prevent more blood to be shed - Muqing still ends up at the hospital with two broken fingers while Muqing nurses his broken nose. 

(Much, much later, they would reminisce how Fenxin’s nose ended up crooked and laugh about it.)

Hence, Fenxin and Muqing reverted to shooting death glare and mouth insults and threats at each other behind Xielian’s back. 

One afternoon during their last year of high school, a fire starts and the whole building ends up in flames. Xielian save a kid from burning alive, but even his heroic action isn’t enough aga    inst the blame placed on his parent's company. The XianLe company is big, specialized in manufacturing safety equipment, except all the fire alarms and extinguishers placed in the school ended up malfunctioning. The media take over the affair to make the Xianle company fall. Muqing and Fenxin, watching helplessly as their dear friend marches through a nightmare, do their best to get along so as to make Xielian’s suffering a little bit less hard and end up making real effort improving their relationship.

(The boy Xielian saved would become the man that would save Xielian from the street and become his husband much later on, but that’s a different story.)

Once they reach college, one could call Fenxin and Muqing best friends, even if they throw harsh words at each other.

After high school Fenxin and Muqing decide to room together to save money during college. Muqing because he has no choice, finance-wise, and FQ because he wants not to depend on his parent’s money for his daily expenses (they still pay his college fee though). Also, Fenxin is the only one who can deal with Muqing’s cleaning freak tendency. Fenxin knows Muqing’s childhood home was in the slums and the bad condition made Muqing’s mother really sick, so he understands the roots of Muqing’s fixation. Which doesn't make Fenxin less of a slacker to do the dishes.

Nevertheless, Fenxin and Muqing do try their earnest at accommodating each other, even when they pretend to do it out of obligation. 

That’s when their secret silent language turns into something special.

Fenxin will say say a stupid joke and Muqing will shot him a deadpan look (‘I’m not impressed.’). Fenxin will frown (‘What?’). Muqing will squint (‘Your idiocy is showing.’) Fenxin will growl “You know what? Fuck you!”

During parties or gatherings, Muqing and Fenxin will always spend some time together people-watching and making fun of people they don’t like. Muqing’s eye will twitch at some girl’s way too heavy make-up (‘Oh my god that’s fucking bad’.) Fenxin will smirk (‘I bet even my stolen car didn’t get such a big paint job.’). Muqing’s lips will quiver, fighting a smile (‘At least your car had an excuse.’) Fenxin will laugh, loud and bright, then turn towards Muqing with a softer, teasing smile (‘Not everyone can be like you.’) and Muqing will scowl to hide the blush spreading on his cheek like a wildfire, but feeling damn proud of his eyeliner job.

Muqing will open the fridge to find his homemade cream gone. He will glare at Fenxin (‘I fucking know it’s you.’) Fenxin’s eyebrow will scrunch together (‘The fuck you’re on?’). MX’s eyes will shoot daggers (‘You fucking bastard ate it.’). Fenxin’s lips will curl up in a snarl (‘I fucking didn’t.’). Muqing will snap the fridge’s door closed, face hot from rage, glaring at Fenxin (‘Selfish bastard.’)Fenxin will yell after Muqing’s retrating’s back thatMuqing is a freaking psycho and that he should get his head checked.  

(Later, Fenxin will realize that this weird-tasting guacamole wasn’t guacamole. He will apologize for eating Muqing’s homemade face cream by purchasing the most expensive, vegan moisturizer he’s able to find on the internet.)

Their friends are still startled when Fenxin and Muqing start shouting or bursting in laughter out of the blue, but they got used to it and pay them no mind.

There is, however, one thing: Muqing has a lot of boyfriends, and Fenxin likes absolutely none of them.

One could think it’s because Fenxin is the protective kind, especially towards those he holds dear, and he’s been friends with Muqing for a long time. However, a few people (including Xielian) know it’s because Fenxin has the biggest crush on Muqing. Fenxin denies it fervently everytime the subject is brought up, even if he preens whenever his friends refer to him as the “Muqing’s expert”.

One his side, Muqing has been in love with Fenxin since mid high school but he thinks Fenxin is straight, and that he’s not good enough for someone like Fenxin anyway. To Xielian’s dismay, Muqing has a lot of pride but very little self-esteem, so he tries to find love anywhere but in Fenxin’s arms.

Muqing’s boyfriends are often self-satisfied pricks, older guys with a lot of money who want someone very pretty in their arms that also sounds cultivated. They like to show Muqing off like he’s some prize, but only a few of them consider Muqing as someone truly smart, nor do they consider him for a long-lasting relationship. They often treat Muqing like trash as time goes on, at which point Muqing breaks off their relationship.

The fact that none of them are treating Muqing right is driving Fenxin absolutely nuts.

At some point, during someone's birthday party, Muqing brings his new boyfriend that he has been dating for a few weeks. For once, the guy is barely older than Muqing and seems decent, which is a relief for Muqing’s friends. Of course, Fenxin hates the guy the very instant he meets him.

Cue Muqing spotting a tiny fly stuck in the frosting of the piece of cake he’s given. He slightly frowns (‘That is utterly disgusting.’) Fenxin tilts his head on the side (‘What is?’). The fingers holding Muqing’s plate twitch (‘That.’). Fenxin spots the fly, huffs silently (‘Just remove it then.’). Muqing’s lips curl in disgust (‘No way. It’s all contaminated now that it touched it.’).

Muqing’s boyfriend is very confused as to why this guy suddenly exclaims “Oh, for fuck’s sake, jsut take mine!” as he shoves his plate in Muqing’s hands and takes Muqing’s for himself. Everyone looks entirely unperturbed by what occurred and Muqing is eating his newly acquired piece of cake as if nothing happened.

(Internally Muqing is thrilled because he knows he’s a bit unreasonable, but he was really disgusted by the fly and he didn’t want to cause a fuss or request another piece of cake. Especially since the cake is chocolate and cherry flavored. Of course, Fenxin knows it’s Muqing’s favorite, hence why he so easily exchanged their plates.)

After witnessing the silent exchanges happening several times, Boyfriend gets super jealous and feels quite like a third wheel. When he tries to mention it, Muqing acts like he doesn’t understand what Boyfriend is talking about! 

Boyfriend starts thinking Muqing is cheating on him with Fenxin, but instead of breaking up with him, he wants Muqing to pay the offense to his pride. He cheats on Muqing and makes sure that Muqing finds out on social media by uploading pictures of him and his newly acquired fiancée at the restaurant, where he introduced her to his parents. (He had, of course, never mentioned Muqing to said parents.)

Muqing is devastated. Not because he loved his boyfriend but because, for once, he felt like his boyfriend was serious about him and Muqing liked him a lot, so Muqing had been ready to commit himself to this relationship.

When Boyfriend laughs at Muqing’s dismay and says his “Serves you right, you get what you dish” speech, Muqing is furious that his boyfriend’s reasons are so petty. Muqing feels betrayed, too, since he has never been unfaithful, and had even hid his love for Fenxin.

Cue (now ex-)Boyfriend being escorted out of the appartement Fenxin and Muqing share together. Except that Fenxin heard it all and he is livid. He rushes out to give Boyfriend a piece of his mind - and possibly shove his fists into Boyfriend’s face - but Muqing stops him.

To Ex-Boyfriend’s dismay, Fenxin and Muqing have an entire silent argument about it while Fenxin is still holding’s boyfriend by the collar after he gave him a black eye.

Several weeks pass. Fenxin is still thinking about EX-boyfriend’s reasons for breaking up with Muqing and he slowly realizes that his closeness with Muqing and their uncanny silent conversation are something that is past the friendship zone. And for their relationship to reach that stage, it probably means that Muqing likes Fenxin back.

Fenxin begins to notice all the little attention Muqing has for him, and how domestic their life together is. Fenxin craves for more and, suddenly, the thought of Muqing bringing a new boyfriend home is untolerable.

When Muqing comes back from work that evening, he finds Fenxin sitting on the couch, shoulders slumped and head in his hands. Finding it a bit strange, and quite worried, he asks Fenxin what’s wrong.

When Fenxin’s eyes level with Muqing’s, they scream (‘I love you.’)

Muqing is taken aback, drops in key in surprise and finds himself rooted on the floor, unable to move as Fenxin rises from his seat and strides across the room towards Muqing, before cradling Muqing’s face in his hands and kissing him soundly.

Muqing feels like he’s ascending. He’s confused, a bit scared, but entirely euphoric at being confessed to. Words fail Muqing when he’s released from the kiss and he looks up at Fenxin, not moving from the other man’s embrace.

Then Muqing smiles, unrestrained even if a bit shy, and Fenxin hears the “I love you too” loud and clear.

************************

"Out of my chest" series

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