#AND is probably better! Play Earwax. It's really good!

[captainfightingflower]

Dodo Re Mi’s entire presentation just looks like a mobile game that forces an unhealthy amount of microtransactions on you.

[gadgetrevive]

  You won't believe 8 tips to try now video text welcome to another eye doctor uk video in this video, I'm going to show you eight of the best tried and tested phone repair tips and tricks that you simply cannot live without I've, kept these tips and tricks Up my sleeve for a little while, but I genuinely think some of these will really help you so whether you're a seasoned pro or an absolute beginner. I think you can take something away from this video and probably use it to make your life a little bit easier and your workflow a little bit more efficient, so sit back, relax and, let's start with tip one tip number one say goodbye. So if you've ever tried to remove a battery that is secured down with that nasty battery, adhesive and you've either snapped one of the pull tabs on an iphone one or there just aren't any pull types there like on a samsung phone you'll, be all too familiar With them, it's all too tempting to take some kind of prime tool and try and get underneath the battery to pop it out. But, of course, using this technique puts the battery at risk of damage and potentially exploded. Instead, soak all around the battery with a generous glug of isopropyl alcohol and then leave it to soak for five to ten minutes once the isopropyl has done its magic. Take one of these suction cups, like the ifixit one that I've got here and attach it to the battery. You should be able to just pull upwards sort of like opening a book to separate the battery from the frame. You'll probably also find that it's got these wrinkly sort of creases on the back of the battery wrap in there fear not just take a little squeegee tool and flatten out those ripples tip number two nine times out of ten. You don't need to replace the air speaker on the phone if you've been repairing devices for a while. You will know that esp speaker mesh, especially iphone airspeaker mesh, gets gunked up really bad with either earwax makeup or sweat and any other things that I don't really want to think about to solve this. You rarely even have to open up the phone. Just add a couple of drops of isopropyl alcohol and play the sound that I've linked above me just here. The 165 hertz vibration is the perfect frequency to loosen up any blockages in that mesh. Don't just take my word for it either. There are literally hundreds of comments on that same video, where people have even already tried replacing the speaker before trying that technique. The results for doing this will literally blow your eardrops tip number three in the previous tip. You might have noticed me using the cleaning brush with a clean room, wipe on the end of it. This is a really good way to clean up really dusty phone chassis, gunked up logic boards, all like in the previous tip, iphone air speakers just soak the clean room wipe in either some alcohol or some cleaning solution, whatever you're using and brush over it with either A toothbrush or other cleaning brush, you should know it's a big difference, especially when, using this trick to clean logic boards, when they're covered in flux, resin, dew or corrosion tip, number four tip number four, and probably one of my favorite time. Saving tricks applies to ipad digitizers. If you've ever removed an ipad screen planning to reinstall. It later then touched it. You'll know how tricky it can be to get the inside of the glass super clean and smear 3. Everyone knows that prevention is better than the cure. So take some of this very low tax cellophane tape and cover the inside of the digitizer in it from the minute that you've first remove it to prevent dust or smears getting onto the inside of the glass tip number five, whilst we're on the subject of ipads. If you've ever worked with them before, you'll know how frustrating it can be when the corners of them become dented and bent. There are small grinding pens available for this, but my favorite tool that packs a lot more power. Is this dremel with pen type attachment and small grinding disc attached? I usually work slowly grinding a small bit away at a time.

You'll also notice that this 10 mil diameter disc, is pretty much the perfect size for the job once you've ground a bit away line up your glass and if it fits happy days, if not go over the corner again until it does fit, then finally make sure You take off any burrs left behind with a miniature file. You'll never get it perfect again, but I guarantee that your customers will be much more grateful for some light. Abrasion marks on the edges, rather than a badly fitted digitizer, that's going to break very, very easily again tip number six if you're working on a device that you've never worked on before and you're worried about misplacing screws or other parts that you took out of the Phone already get yourself one of these magnetic whiteboard masks. You can mark up and label any screws, as you remove them to help you when it comes to putting stuff back together, another useful tool that I've found when disassembling unfamiliar devices or, if you can't figure out where one screw goes, it's head to ifixitcom and search For the model of the phone that you're, taking apart, followed by the word, tear down their site has loads of high quality images of devices taken apart already that you can use for reference when disassembling or reassembling a device tip number seven. This tip is a bit more gimmicky than the other tips that I've given you here, but it literally got millions and millions of views on both our tick tock and on our facebook page. So I thought it'd be best to share it with you as well. Going back to the first tip talking about removing batteries, you can really speed up the process by using one of these electric screwdrivers to wind. The adhesive easily out of there simply pull a small amount of the pull tab and then stick it to the end of your electric screwdriver and just press. Go it'll, pull it out real nice and easy, and it just works tip number eight foreign guys. I'm sorry! I've tricked you, they weren't, actually, eight tips, I've run out of ideas and my notes only went up to the ones what I've done before, but I thought, if I say hey, it makes it a nice even number, rather than a seven, so tip number eight is Just to like subscribe and hit the notification icon so that you can get updates the next time that I post. Thank you everybody for watching and I'll see you next time, foreign ``

[red-sneakers]

Prompt for bkdk:

Trapped in unstable debris that would collapse if they blew it up. Rescue is sure to arrive at some point. Waiting it out is boring until...

This was fun to write! Thank you for the prompt. Rated T for swearing and some sexy-ish dialogue. Characters are Pro-Heroes.

D = Deku

K = Katsuki

D: Kacchan, you can’t!

K: You don’t think I can blast through this much rubble, shitty nerd? This is nothing!

D: No, that’s not it! It’s not stable. It’ll collapse!

K: As if we can’t handle a little—

D: There were civilians nearby! They might be trapped too. We have to wait for reinforcements.

K: *huffs and puffs but eventually acquiesces* Move over, your elbow’s in my stomach.

D: I can’t. It’s too cramped.

K: *growling* Why the fuck do you smell like mint?

D: *giggling*

K: What’s so funny?

D: You asked me that the last time we got stuck together like this.

K: Hah? When’ve we ever been in this situation before? In your pervy dreams, Deku?

D: Wha—? No, Kacchan, playing sardines when we were kids. The handle fell out of the closet door and we got stuck for—Well, it felt like hours, but it was probably thirty minutes tops.

K: The handle fell out because YOU slammed the door too hard!

D: You do remember!

K: Tch.

D: Do you remember what we did to pass the time?

K: I remember you touched a hairbrush and screamed because you thought it was a giant bug.

D: We played “would you rather.”

...

Hey, Kacchan

K: What?

D: Would you rather only listen to Kpop for the rest of your life or never eat spicy food again?

K: I’m not playing this game.

..

...

..

And that’s a dumb fucking question. Kpop, obviously.

D: But you hate Kpop!

K: No, stupid Deku, I pretended to hate Kpop in middle school because I was a pretentious asshole. Just like I pretended to hate— . . . uuhh th-this game is lame!

D: It’s your turn. Ask me a “would you rather” question!

K: Fine, but you’ve gotta move first before your elbow punctures my fucking spleen.

D: There’s no room.

K: Turn around.

D: Okay, I’ll try.

*awkwardly manages to turn around, but now they’re chest-to-chest*

Is this better?

K: *blushing* Uhh . . . Yeah.

D: Kacchan?

K: Hm?

D: Ask me a question!

K: Right. Uuuhh . . . Would you rather fuck someone with a tentacles quirk or a gigantification quirk?

D: *scandalized gasp* Kacchan!

K: You’re the damn nerd who wanted to play this stupid game! Are you gonna wimp out or what?

D: But I . . . I know people with those quirks, Kacchan! I can’t—

K: Fine! Would you rather be tied up or sat on?

D: Uhh . . . *thinking: Sat on? Is that a kink?* Tied up. I guess.

K: Hm. Your turn.

D: Would you rather take dance classes from Mina three times a week or babysit those kids from the hero licensing—

K: Babysit. Would you rather get caught hooking up in a public place or have to wear a maid outfit every day for a week?

D: *blushing* Both wouldn’t be great for my image as a pro hero, but uh . . . I actually think maid dresses are kinda . . . kinda cute? So, yeah. The maid dress.

K: Oh.

D: Your temperature just spiked, Kacchan. Are you okay?

K: Of course I’m okay! It’s just fucking cramped in here, alright? Don’t worry about me, shitty Deku! It’s your turn.

D: O-okay. Let me think. Hmm . . . Would you rather . . . Sell all your All Might merch - which I know you still have - ooooor . . . pretend to date me for a month? *snort laughs*

K: Date you.

D: Really? You still fanboy about All Might that much?

K: No. I still admire him, but I don’t “fanboy.”

D: Then why—

K: Would you rather eat this rock or get dinner with me tomorrow? *holds a rock up to Deku’s eye level*

D: What?

K: Did I stutter? Are your shitty nerd ears so full of earwax you can’t hear anymore, Deku?

D: Was that a joke? Are you making fun of me, Kacchan?

K: No, it’s a “would you rather” question! It’s your stupid game. Just answer the question already, fuck!

D: Okay, okay! I . . . I’d rather get dinner with you.

K: Hmph. Good.

D: Good?

K: Yeah, good. We’re gonna go to this new ramen place that makes super spicy ramen, and you won’t be able to handle it. Just wait - I can’t wait to see your face when you tear up and turn red.

D: Kacchan, are you . . . Are you asking me out? Like, for real?

*Uravity floats away the rubble*

U: Deku! Dynamight! We found you!

[engie-ivy]

Everyone seems to think it's just the most hilarious prank Sirius was given a potion to make him think he's in love with Remus. Remus himself, however, doesn't quite like hearing Sirius say everything he's been secretly dreaming of, and not meaning a word of it. However, there might be a bit of truth to Sirius’ words. Or a whole lot of truth.

Truth Be Told

Remus is haggard. After a long day of classes, he has spent the evening tutoring a second-year Hufflepuf, and it would surprise Remus if the boy can even tell the front from the back of his wand. All Remus wants now is to drop down on a couch, and unwind with his friends. As he enters the Gryffindor common room, he spots them sitting at the back and makes his way over.

“Wotcher, Moony,” James greets. “You look bloody knackered!”

“Alright, Moony?” Peter grins. “Long night?”

“Moony!” Sirius says. “I’m so glad you’re back. Even when it’s just an hour, I miss you whenever we’re not together. You light up any room you enter, no matter how tired you look. Just the sight of you makes my heart skip a beat, as you’re still the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

The boys all fall silent and stare. Remus blinks a couple of times. Then James bursts out laughing, quickly joined by Peter. Horror appears on Sirius’ face and he clasps a hand over his mouth.

“Eh,” Remus says hesitantly, as he sits down. “What’s going on?”

James, still laughing, wipes a tear away from his eyes. “D’you remember how Sirius hexed McKinnon last week, making everything she ate taste like earwax for the entire day?”

Remus nods. As funny as the prank may have seemed, dealing with an angry and hungry Marlene McKinnon hadn’t been an experience worth repeating.

“Well, she got back at him just now by spiking his Pumpkin Juice with some sort of potion, but so far, we hadn’t figured out what kind of potion. Until now, that is!”

“A Love Potion?” Remus asks incredulously.

Sirius, face bright red, is pointedly not looking at Remus.

“The potion must have made him so head-over-heels, he’s too overwhelmed by your all-encompassing beauty,” Peter snickers.

Remus is still stunned. “Why a Love Potion to make him fall in love with me, though?”

James shrugs. “Girls have a weird sense of humour, mate.”

Remus shakes his head. “That’s ridiculous!”

James wants to say something, but Sirius cuts him off. “There’s nothing ridiculous about being in love with you!” He exclaims. “You’re the kindest person there is. You have such a good heart, and you’re always there for me, no matter what. You always make everyone feel at ease. You’re clever, hardworking, and strong. I don’t understand how everyone isn’t in love with you! And Merlin, you’re so attractive. The way you bite your lip when you’re trying not to laugh is so bloody sexy.”

Sirius isn’t the only one blushing now, as Remus feels his own cheeks heat up. “Err, thanks,” he mumbles.

James and Peter, however, nearly fall off the couch laughing. “This is gold!” James manages to say in between his laughs.

Remus doesn’t agree. He finds it more embarrassing than funny that apparently, McKinnon thought making him in love with Remus was the best joke she could play on Sirius. And even worse, and Remus will take this secret to his grave, like a bloody twelve-year-old who reads too many romance novels, he occasionally fantasizes about Sirius illuminated by candlelight, holding his hands, waxing poetically about his undying love for Remus. To now hear Sirius say similar words, without meaning any of them, is definitely more painful than funny.

Sirus doesn’t seem amused by it either. “I’m sorry,” he says miserably. “I know I shouldn’t be saying this! I mean, I know I don’t have a chance with you, Moony. You’re such a good person, so much better than me. I truly don’t deserve you.”

“Merlin,” Peter laughs. “Sirius Black thinking he’s not good enough? I wouldn’t have thought it possible! What the hell did McKinnon give him for a Love Potion?”

Remus wonders that as well, as he watches Sirius hide his face in his hands. With the Love Potions Remus knows, the person under the influence at least doesn’t realise how insane they’re acting, but poor Sirius seems perfectly aware.

“Moony,” Sirius says pleadingly. “Normally, I think every minute spent apart from you is a minute wasted, but as I can’t seem to stop embarrassing myself in front of you, would you mind terribly to maybe stay away from me until the potion has worn off?”

“You really do say the most ridiculous things,” Peter agrees.

Sirius glares at him. “You calling me confessing my deepest feelings ridiculous is actually really hurtful, Peter.”

Peter blinks at him.

“Right,” Remus says, getting to his feet. “Yes. That would probably be best. Just... take care, and let me know if you need me.”

“I always need you, Remus,” Sirius says. “And I always will.”

“Err, right. Yes. Okay. Great. Eh, bye then.” Remus hurries away.

As Remus makes his way through the common room, he walks past Marlene, Lily and Mary sitting together at a table.

“Oi, Lupin!” Marlene calls, with a smug smile. “Is Black having a nice evening?”

Remus folds his arms over his chest. “You think you’re bloody funny, don’t you, McKinnon?”

Lily raises her eyebrow. “Come on, Remus. Black had it coming.”

“I suppose he had,” Remus sighs. It’s true. Marlene and Sirius are always pulling pranks on each other and retaliating. “But next time, please leave me out of it!”

“Leave you out of it?” Marlene repeats. “When have I ever gotten you into it?”

“Please, a Love Potion to make him confess to being in love with me?” Remus rolls his eyes. “I can understand how you’d think Sirius Black fancying me is just the biggest joke, but please, don’t.”

The girls fall silent.

Mary is staring at Remus with wide eyes. Lily is nervously tugging at her braid. Marlene is shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

“What?”

Marlene and Lily exchange a look, then look back at Remus. “Eh, Remus,” Marlene says carefully. “The potion I gave Black wasn’t a Love Potion.”

Remus begins to ask “Then why-” But Marlene continues talking. “It was Veritaserum.”

Sirius is lying face-down on his bed, wondering if there’s a spell that can make the ground swallow him up whole. Damn Marlene and her damn Truth Potion! At least his friends, and most importantly Remus, had assumed it was a Love Potion. Luckily, James and Peter had eventually left him alone, thinking that the fun was over anyway after Remus left, so perhaps the universe doesn’t completely hate him.

He has barely finished the thought, or the door to the dorm opens. Sirius glances up, and when he sees Remus walk in, he considers smothering himself in his pillow.

“Moony,” Sirius groans. “Please. I really want to be alone.” For once, he and the Truth Potion are in perfect agreement on what to say.

Remus ignores him and sits down cross-legged at the foot of Sirius’ bed with a huge grin on his face, because, yes, the universe has it out for Sirius. Sirius pushes himself up and wraps his arms around his legs. “While normally I would be thrilled to have you on my bed,” Sirius says, because of-bloody-course he does. “Right now, you shouldn’t-”

“What potion did McKinnon give you?” Remus interrupts.

Sirius opens his mouth to say it’s the Love Potion, but what comes out instead is “Veritaserum,” which, really, he should’ve expected. He wonders if it’s too late to still smother himself in his pillow.

Remus grins brightly at him. He knew, Sirius thinks. The bloody bastard already knew.

“You know,” Sirius says irritably. “I’m so gone for you that you could probably push me out of the window, and I’d still be smitten,” has he mentioned that the universe hates him? “But I must say, Remus, it kind of hurts that you found out my deepest secret and came here to rub it in my face and laugh about it.”

Remus seems a little taken aback by Sirius’ blatant honesty, but he should’ve known that’s what he would get. “What? No,” he says quickly. “I’m not laughing about your feelings! Or well, maybe I am laughing about your feelings, but because I’m happy about your feelings!”

Sirius looks away and mutters “Well, I’m glad you at least enjoy my desperate pining.”

Remus moves forward, and places a hand on Sirius’ cheek to gently turn his head back to him.

“You on my bed, sitting this close, and touching my face like that is Doing Things to me,” Sirius says, and he kind of wishes Remus had pushed him out of the window.

Remus lets out a breathless laugh. “Good, because what I wanted to say is, I’m happy about your feelings, because I most definitely return them. I’m gone for you too.”

Sirius’ eyes widen. “Really?” He breathes.

Remus smiles softly at him. “Really. I’m not taking any Veritaserum, though, so you’re going to have to take my word for it.”

Emboldened by the notion that he can’t possibly embarrass himself more than he already has, Sirius shifts a little closer understand. “You know,” he says, nervously licking his lips. “They say actions speak louder than words.”

Remus immediately understands. The hand on Sirius’ cheek moves to his neck and the next moment, they’re kissing.

Sirius briefly chases Remus’ lips as the other boy pulls away, and sighs while he blinks open his eyes. Kissing Remus is the best feeling in the world, leaving him dizzy, and rather hot and bothered. And of course, in his current state, he immediately informs Remus about this.

A flush appears on Remus’ cheeks and he chuckles. Sirius hides his face in his hands and groans. “And just like that, I turned the best moment of my life into the most embarrassing moment of my life.”

Remus grabs his wrists to pry his hands away from his face. “No, Pads, it’s okay! More than okay. I love kissing you as well.”

Sirius lowers his hands and looks into Remus’ soft, honey-coloured eyes, that look back at him affectionately. “I love you,” he breathes.

Remus lets go of his wrists and his eyes widen in shock.

Sirius winches. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I wouldn’t normally go from first kiss to full-blown love confession in like zero seconds, but that damned potion! That potion goes by the rule ‘if you feel a strong emotion, immediately speak it out loud’, and loving you is the strongest emotion I’ve ever felt.”

Remus’ eyes widen even more.

“Oh, Merlin,” Sirius says. “I’m only making it worse, aren’t I? I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to freak you out like this.”

“No, it’s... I mean, I...” Remus scrapes his throat. “I don’t mind. I admit, it’s all going a bit fast, and I wasn’t expecting a love confession so soon, but I think I’m... happy?” Remus lets out a nervous chuckle. “I’m sorry, this is all very new to me.”

“It’s new to me too,” Sirius says softly, and then, just in case he hadn’t freaked Remus out enough, “You’re the first person I’ve ever said those words to.”

Remus nearly topples off the bed.

The universe must be having one hell of a laugh.

“Oh, bollocks!” Sirius says. “I keep saying these wildly inappropriate, way too intense things, for which it’s much too soon! I won’t blame you if you want to get away as fast as possible. As a matter of fact, you probably should stay away from me for now, before I end up telling you I’ve already been envisioning our wedding.” Sirius’ laugh sounds forced, and Remus’ sounds a little too high-pitched, and Sirius can see clear traces of panic in his eyes. Yet, Remus doesn’t move from the bed.

“You know,” Remus says a tad nervous. “Perhaps I could stay, but prevent you from speaking?”

“How are you...?”

Remus smiles shyly. “My idea was to keep your mouth... otherwise occupied?”

Sirius’ eyes widen, and then a bright smile appears on his face. “Remus Lupin, you always have the best ideas!”

Remus wakes up the next morning with Sirius’ body pressed against his back and Sirius’ arms around his waist. “Hmmm,” he hums happily, covering Sirius’ hands with his own. “I love waking up next to you.”

He can feel Sirius smile against his neck. “Me too. Waking up next to you and falling asleep next to you. Even your snoring is music to my ears.”

Remus snorts. “I gather the Veritaserum has worn off, huh?”

[slashingdisneypasta]

MultiVillain x Reader || Drabbles

Plot: Okay, so this is how it goes. Reader’s in love with (Villain), and (Villain) is in love with them… but no one ever said it out loud, and now Reader is marrying someone else.

Includes: Napoleon Boneparte (Misc), Human!Oogie Boogie (Disney Villain), Oswald Cobblepot (Gotham), Slenderman (Creepypasta), The Clown (Horror Villains)

Warnings: Alcohol intake, talk and hints towards murder of course, and swearing. 

Notes:

Inspired by ‘Marry Me’ (Either by Thomas Rhett [The guy’s POV which is what this will be in] or Elle Mears [Your POV, if you wanna see how Reader’s thinking]) and I recommend you listen while you read! ^^

I’m so happy!! I finally wrote something more then headcanons for Oogie! And this is also my first time writing for the Clown, so be easy on me XD

I hope you like this- I for one, am actually pretty proud of it! 

~~~

Napoleon Boneparte (You’re having a nighttime wedding- you made this decision of course so your friend and secret soulmate could attend):

She wants to get married, she wants it perfect She wants her grandaddy preaching the service Yeah, she wants magnolias out in the country Not too many people, save her daddy some money

Before walking into the church, I halt a moment at the side so others may get inside by me. This will be hard. I need a moment, just a moment… to pull myself together. It would be very bad, if I were to panic as Y/N makes their way down the aisle.

Hand on the church, more to hold myself together rather then to hold myself up. Am I doing the right thing? Should I be here? Should I leave? That stupid Capone said I might not be able to control myself and will object when the preacher asks… he’s not right, is he? It’s true, I don’t feel entirely under my own control right now…. But I need to be here. To support Y/N on their big day.

… I do love them, far more than any man every should a nearly married person, and even if I can’t have them for myself, I would, happy, do very near anything to make them happy.

So, if… If they want me here, as they said they do… Then I have to go in. I can’t chicken out now. I am the great Napoleon Boneparte. I can attend a wedding. Bon dieu.

Viva La France.

I can do this.

Forward!

As soon as I walk in, it is as if I am strolling into Y/N’s mind. This is just as they always wanted, with a few obvious added things by the other one that’s getting married today, like the chiselled cat head mahogany chairs… not that I think Y/N would disapprove if they weren’t, in fact, kind enough to just agree right away, seeing as it isn’t only their day.

The white makes a beautiful backdrop for their chosen accent colour, and the people in the room are exactly who I would imagine to accompany Y/N in her daily life, when I cannot be there. There’s not a sour, or in any way unexcited and unencouraging expression in the place.

Honestly, with my whole heart, wish I could feel the same as them.

Then Y/N comes into the room, and steals the breath right out of my chest. Like always.

Human!Oogie Boogie:

Ooh, she got it all planned out Yeah, I can see it all right now

I'll wear my black suit, black tie, hide out in the back I'll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask

Christ, what kinda shindig is this?? I’ve asked everyone and their cat, including somebodies’ mother who looks like a cat, to play a tiny game of Blackjack with me while we wait for the main event, but nothing! Nada! What’s wrong with these people? Are they dying to just sit around and contemplate their loneliness until the two hosts get hitched??

I, for one, am not playing that game today.

Of course, I’m also avoiding Y/N at all costs so maybe I’m not the best example of a man controlling his emotions.

“Oogie!”

My shoulders seize up visibly, at Y/N’s voice behind me and I stop shuffling my cards. I only decide to turn around and face them like a man, when they give up waiting and round me so I can see their beaming face.

Oh, they look so happy.

That’s nice… in a terrible, heartbreaking, awful kind of way.

“Heya, Y/N. You look great!” I start shuffling the cards again in my hand, distracting my hands from and refraining myself from, taking their hand and kissing it, or pulling them into a hug. If I did that, I think theirs an acute possibility I would end up saying something we would both regret, in a moment of determination… and devastation, of course. Can’t forget that.

Really, I can’t. It’s a very prominent feeling right now in my chest, just being here. Just knowing this is happening.

“Thank you!” They beam wider, and oh Jesus. They’re so beautiful when they look happy- I wish I could make them this happy.

… But that’s all the other guy. The one they’re hitching.

They run their bottom lip through their teeth, looking down at the cards in my hands and then smirking in that mischievous way that always somehow makes this blackheart’s insides clench up. In a good way, but still. Tilting their head, they look back up at my face. “Had no luck getting anyone to bet with you yet?”

I let out a deep, theatrical sigh full of frustration. “No! Your guests all suck, Y/N.”

“Even you?”

“No, not me. I’m the King.”

“Right,” They laugh, then goes and sits down at a nearby table. “Well we have 10 minutes until I have to go get ready to walk- I’ll play you if you want!”

My heart pops like a balloon, and goes flying, wheezing around in my rib cage as I just smile at them for a good moment- unmarried, and free, and mine. For ten to fifteen more minutes. Hell yeah, I’m going to sit down and play with them.

Why aren’t I telling them not to? I wonder, as I deal us both cards and they pick theirs up and make cheeky ‘Hmmm’ sounds to throw me off. Why don’t I tell them, right now, how I feel? Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I here, is also a valid question but I already beat myself up over that last night when I was picking out my tie. I’m her friend, and they deserve to be… yuck. Happy, with the person they chose.

And I guess, that’s the answer to all my other questions too.

Let me just enjoy this last game, this last 600 seconds with them.

Oswald Cobblepot:

I remember the night when I almost kissed her Yeah, I kinda freaked out, we'd been friends for forever And I always wondered if she felt the same way When I got the invite, I knew it was too late

And I know her daddy's been dreading this day Oh, but he don't know he ain't the only one giving her away

As soon as Y/N leaves my side to go and freshen up for the aisle walk, I find myself a seat in the very back of the church / auditorium and rest in for the event. I will not be moving from this hidden away spot, in convenient shadow, with my secret flask of terrible smelling stuff that Victor gave me before arriving, until this shitshow is over and I can leave.

I’m only here in the first place, because Y/N asked me. And, evidently, my idiocy runs deep because I accepted such an invitation. I will do anything, for them. I learnt my lesson in dealing in peoples love lives, with Edward and Isobel- I will not let my relationship with Y/N go as badly as that one did, with Ed.

So if I must sit here and watch them marry that moron, (Fiancé’s Name), then that is what I’ll do. But I won’t sit in the front and watch it, and I will be as drunk as whatever this drink can make me.

Maybe I should text Victor, the deadly assassin, and ask what the contaminants are…

An unevolved, ap-like woman walks past my seat and I must be too close to the aisle because I can hear her yap like a strangled cat about what a cute couple Y/N and (Fiancé’s Name) are together and how they must be soulmates, and I don’t think twice before gulping down a huge mouthful of the alcohol. If this is how I die, then so be it, I think bitterly as I slide further down the aisle.

“Fuck!” The word comes out of me before I can stop it, my face probably the picture of horror and disgust. This… drink, if I can even call it that -more of an undiluted acid, if you ask me, - tastes like regret and earwax.

The same ape-like woman from before flashes a stern, disapproving look at me like she thinks she’s my mother, and I show her my middle finger. Uncouth, yes, but affective. This is a bad day, and I am in no mood to deal with bitches like her. She quickly looks away, and I take another, smaller, sip of the drink.

Another moment passes and the wedding doesn’t seem to be even a second closer to ending, so I sit up straight and close my eyes, holding the flask in my lap. Take me back to a better time…

In the silent, middle-of-the-conversation lapse moment, I allow myself to look down at Y/N’s mouth. They have a soft smile, left over from whatever we were just talking about, on their face as they sit comfortably in our silence and I suddenly feel total confidence. They’re here, with me, instead of off with that boy toy / girl toy / gender neutral or fluid toy. They’re with me. That must mean that I mean something to them, right? And Ed said they looked at me like… like, they love me. Or ‘care deeply’, as he put it. But we all know that was just his stiff version of the word ‘love’. Ever since Isobel… had her unfortunate accident… he’s been focused on one emotion only and it is not, love.

Anyway, the confidence spreads through me and I smile. It mixes with my perpetual desire to kiss them, and goddamnit, I should do it. I should just lean over and press a gentle kiss on their mouth- if they aren’t interested or pull away, I can blame it on the wine between us. If not…

Butterflies erupt in my stomach and my chest, and I’ve just lean an inch forward… when their phone rings on the table and I see (Boyfriends Name) flash on the screen.

I rush to lean completely back in my chair, as they answer. I don’t like to believe fate has anything to do with Gotham, but… that was entirely too close.

My eyes snap open and I roll my shoulders back, inhaling another, bigger slug of the contents of the flask and feel even angrier.

That was, most certainly not a better time, you nitwit.

Slenderman:

Bet she got on her dress now, welcoming the guests now

I could try to find her, get it off of my chest now But I ain't gonna mess it up, so I'll wish her the best now

I’ve been sitting in the back of this church, a place I likely shouldn’t ever enter in the first place -Well, at least I’m not Offender. I would probably burn to death, in that scenario, - for over 2 hours and I only got to see Y/N for 45 and a half minutes of that time.

Not that that really matters. Its more important that they see me. I certainly don’t want to see them. I don’t wish to see them, or their wedding clothes, or their wedding guests, or the stupid moony smiles on their faces, or the cake, or their partner. Definitely not their partner. If they show their face before they absolutely have to, or worse, talk to me, I will promptly go home and kill 30 people. I don’t want to be here.

I shouldn’t be here, in fact. If I were a good man, I wouldn’t be here. A good man would never turn up to a wedding that he know’s he’s just going to sit back in and think unholy, too-fond and too-angry thoughts about one of the marriage participants. Marriage is supposedly a sacred thing, and if I were this good man that I’m thinking about, I wouldn’t urinate on it like this.

But I am not a good man.

So, really, what would I know about what a good man, would do in the first place?

Enough thinking about good men, it’s making me queasy and very uncomfortable.

I don’t look around, but I can infer with general certainty, that Y/N will be welcoming all her other guests now that I ‘allowed’ -Not that I could have stopped them. They just didn’t want to leave me in my own company,- them to let me be alone here. And they’re in their wedding clothes, which look lovely on them, and their smiling and their giddy.

Giddy. Ugh, I hate that word, especially in this sense. Defined by the Cambridge English Dictionary as ‘feeling silly, happy, and excited and showing this in your behaviour’. And by the Oxford, to ‘Make (Someone) feel excited to the point of disorientation.’. Yes, I looked up these definitions and memorised them before I came, and loathe every single word, in that order.

Because apparently, as if it wasn’t already obvious by the very fact that I’m HERE, I hate myself.

This other person has made Y/N giddy, while I have to sit here and pretend, I’m happy for them both and that I don’t feel like vomiting for the first time in 5 centuries.

But I can’t do anything about it, because I love them, Y/N, and I will… I will not, allow myself to be the reason their wedding wasn’t perfect. So, I wish them the best.

Or I try my damn hardest to.

The Clown / Jeffry Hawk / Kenneth Chase:

So I'm in my black suit, black tie, hiding out in the back Doing a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees Yeah, she wanna get married Yeah, she gonna get married But she ain't gonna marry me

I don’t know if I’d call this a real wedding. For one, its in the entities realm so how ‘magical’ could it really be? And for another reason, the only white thing here is my grease paint. Its pretty laughable. I would laugh, in fact, if I didn’t know it would cause a coughing fit and bring attention to me as Y/N walks down the aisle- O don’t need them looking at me. I might accidentally blurt out an ‘oopsie’ or something not-at-all funny like that, with all the whiskey I’ve injected today. Not that that would be the biggest issue with these kids seeing that I’m here, in the first place. Only Y/N knows, I’m hiding by a tree.  

But, I digress I guess. They’re calling it a wedding. The big one with the beard is officiating -I guess he has an online certificate from before he was brought here,- , Y/N’s wearing a pit of plastic bag on their head like a make shift veil / bit of plastic bag fashioned sort of like a tie, and all the lovely little fingers, or survivors as they like to call themselves, watch. With silly gleaming smiles and hope in their eyes- Pft, suckers.

Honestly the idea of weddings in the first place make me a bit uncomfortable. All those wide eyes watching and perving on your happiness?? Seems pretty creepy to me, and I’ve been told I’m pretty creepy myself! So, I would know!

The fact that possibly the sweetest, perfect person I’ve ever had the pleasure of setting my gaze upon is the one getting married, has absolutely no stake on my take on weddings in this moment.

Absolutely not…

Aha… hahahaha…

I kill myself.

I kill them, too, but let’s put that on the backburner like their fingers, for now.

Let me wallow in self-pity for a while longer before we start making jokes.

Yeah, let me… I take a swig of my flask -a bee-oootiful concoction of all the most toxic hootch I have in my collection, and maybe also some actual poison maybe since I wasn’t paying much attention when I created it this morning and I keep it all in relatively the same place, - and savour the horrible flavour on my tongue. Let me wallow, for a little bit.

This is going to be a bad day, for these little fuckers when I get into the game.

[iwannafuckyexiu]

A TEASE A DAY BRINGS YOU CLOSER TO DEATH  000

▎basically where y/n flirt with any decent thing he see, thinking he should be a top (nope). --- bnha x male!reader, aka harem/np © 嘤嘤嘤, 2019

[ slow updates, bl, suggestive, can be ooc ]

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

TODAY, WILL BE UNFORGETTABLE MY FRIEND "wait what did i do again today "

"Wake up motherfucker!"

Y/N lets out a groan at the tinge of pain at his rib from the kick. Lifting his head sluggishly, he twists to stare at the culprit of the kick and where the voice is coming from.

"What are you looking at? Fucking move you asshole!" a blonde boy scowls and lugs Y/N up by his collar harshly, their faces so close that their noses are almost touching and Y/N can feel his spit right up against his skin.

Y/N squints his eyes to get a better look at the boy and don't ask me how he can tell that the boy is good-looking from such a close distance but he murmurs under his breath, "Holy shit. Is this my lucky day or something, I see a fucking bishounen bottom here."

Clearly, Y/N isn't fully awake as you can tell from the sluggish response but he soon freshens up with the nice view in front of him, "Ah, as you were saying?" A lopsided grin rises onto his lips.

"I said," deep breath, "MOVE YOUR ASS, YOU'RE BLOCKING THE WAY TO MY SEAT!" Tsundere-kun pops a vein comically and threatens him by hoisting a fist up, ready to land a fist on Y/N.

"Woah woah woah, alright. I'll let you through my mans." Raising two hands up, Y/N backs off his chair and it makes a piercing wail as it drags on the floor — which caused the other participants nearby to cringe at the sound it made and turn to glare at the creator.

Tsundere-kun walks across and lets out a 'hmph' as he passes by him (Y/N's never gonna tell him that the 'hmph' actually reminds him of that one school girl in that one shoujo anime when she got shy).

After about like the only interesting person in close distance has gone far far away from him, Y/N returns to the state of liquid — aka the state where he's just sprawling over the desk in front of him like a pool of impure H2O. Present Mic's words just go into one ear of his and then out of the other just like earwax when Y/N picks his ear with his pinky finger of the left hand. Waiting for time to pass, he reminisces the beauty in the nickname of "blonde Natsu" with his sharp jaw and wHole FUCKIng FAcE.

To other people, Y/N just looks like he's staring at the head in front of him, aimless and plain with absolute boredom until a blaring "PLUS ULTRA!" snaps him out of his trance. In like 0.00001 seconds, everyone is surging out of the room whilst most scream incoherently for some reason. Shaking his head, Y/N stands up from his seat and leisurely strides towards the competition grounds for the practical test.

He enters the district, and only three seconds later danger comes literally flying at Y/N in the form of a blob of yellow which he attempts to catch and succeeds. But soon a crackling noise makes him aware that the fucking ground is breaking apart.

"Shit," Y/N snarls as he leaps onto the nearest surface that isn't split open and flips the blob of yellow onto the ground with a weighty clonk, "whoops, sorry."

"I ... It's fine ..." the blob of yellow moans as he picks himself up, patting off the dust on his bottom, and faces Y/N. He says with gleaming eyes and a vivacious grin, "Thanks man, that was awesome!"

Cheery and upbeat type bottom (ahem no 是小狼狗*), Y/N notes as he plans to bring this poor boy into his harem with the tsundere type bottom he met just before the practical exam.

Y/N responds to Sir Sunshine-a-lot with a raised brow and a teasing smile playing by the side of his lips, "Well if you're really thankful, maybe you can pledge to be mine* or something?"

Perhaps due to the fact he has probably never been flirted with by a male being, a tint of scarlet creeps up Sir Sunshine-a-lot's cheeks and the tip of his ears which honestly made him look even more like a bottom according to Y/N. "W-What?" Sir Sunshine-a-lot lets out a slight stutter, eyes peering wide at Y/N with a glossy shine to it that makes Y/N just go crazy internally at.

"It's okay we'll go slowly," Y/N gives him an "I get it" smile, "anyways, I'll see you later. I gotta go or else I'm not gonna be able to see you again if I don't get in!" A wink that is supposed-to-be-seductive is sent Sir Sunshine-a-lot's way as Y/N zooms the fuck out of there, ready to conquer the world (no).

"CALL ME! IT'S 1-800-7327!"

Sir Sunshine-a-lot, Kaminari Denki, is just left like a pack of chilli sauce back down there staring at where the rascally boy stood just a second ago. That was a first, being teased by another guy, he mocks.

Back to Y/N, we can see him just bouncing up and down from walls to roofs to even someone's head (which earned him a "Mom, what did I do again?!"). As Y/N spots a nearly-defeated robot from a safe distance, he sprints towards a closer vertical surface to the robot, springs up high enough and plants a foot on the wall. He then launches from the wall with a push-off and propels a roundhouse kick into the right side of the robot's jaw!

K.O.

Y/N alights on the ground lightly and remains there on his knees, taking in deep breaths and wiping away the beads of sweat on his forehead with the bottom of his sports uniform shirt. Clearly, he doesn't see the fuming figure standing just in front of him.

Obviously, the human campfire soon realises too that Y/N's ignoring him so he steps forth and once again pulls Y/N up by the collar. Faced with familiar zoomed in features, Y/N dazes out for a second until he reacts, "Ah, it's Tsundere-kun you again. What's up?"

"You fucking stole my kill!" Gritting his teeth and eyes almost popping straight outta his skull, his fist clenches around the collar in his hand.

"Oooooh, yeah. About that ..." Y/N grins gallantly and lifts a hand to tap at Tsundere-kun's shoulder, "I thought you were in danger and I wanted to help since ya know I take pleasure in helping people like you ahahah."

"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP! AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE LIKE ME?!"

"Beauties like you of course." Wink.

"Y-Y-YOU—" before Tsundere-kun can even hurl his explosives at the flirtatious boy, Y/N flicked a finger at his wrist and nyOoms off at full tilt, since as much as he likes pretty boys and girls, he doesn't want to get a second or third-degree burn.

And another victim of Y/N's flirtatious skills has been left by his own with cherry ears and protruding blood vessels as he glares at Y/N's back just parkouring from one building to the other.

Switching to Y/N here. Catching sight of another person falling from a high distance, he dashes across the tall roofs and with a vault, then he grasps onto the person's waist swiftly and scales down to the ground by a nearby wall.

"Dontlookdowndontlookdowndontlookdowndontlookdown," Y/N mutters in a low voice, his words all mingled up and incomprehensive when suddenly, "AH FUCK IT!"

"What?" the girl squeaks, doe eyes staring at him with utter confusion.

"Get ready because you're in for the ride of your life," he says to the girl in his arms and gives her a charming (rigid) smile. Before the girl can even ask what the actual fuck does he mean and maybe get flustered at his smile, he does it.

He heaves himself off the wall, thirty fUCKING meters from the ground. And this becomes the scene where a boy with a girl in his arms just screeching: "FREE BUNGEE JUMPING DON'T WORRY I GOTCHU!" and the hapless girl's face going white with panic.

Stop.

Okay, what was Y/N thinking when he did that shit? Well, his mind went a little bit like this before the jump: "Alright, don't look down and you'll be fine. Height is nothing and you will not be a fucking pussy that fell to your death just because you're afraid of heights. Calm down ... calm ... ca—NO I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS, NO I'M GONNA JUMP AND LET FATE DO ITS SHIT! I MEAN, IT'S BETTER TO DIE NOW THAN DIE LATER RIGHT???? ALRIGHT I'M GONNA DO THIS WOOO—" Cut. And that was Y/N's mental journey in those few seconds of "Don't look down"s.

To the main story, Y/N jumps like fucking Jack with Rose in his arms and in the moment where he just falls and everything just goes silent, and he goes through the marquee of his life where it's just full of shit like him running away from the teachers that roam the school grounds during lesson times and the era when he and his sisters were just pure ruffians on the streets that steal and fight.

Fortunately, the marquee doesn't continue further (mostly because his life is too short ngl) but also due to Y/N's power. At the last second, he realises that he needs to get a chance of at least living (he'd live even if he doesn't try so—), and tries his best to turn himself so his feet are facing the ground. Let's just say that it did help to make his chances of surviving a fuck ton bigger but the force when he landed was too abrasive and ...... he broke his feet and legs.

Before he can even scream out in agony, black spots fill his vision and he just goes unconscious (he attempts to land on the floor gracefully before he passed out but he probably just looks like shit to other people).

、、、

Walking down the streets at a leisure pace, Y/N whistles the melody that he recently heard on the radio. He strolls from the rowdy districts where neon signs illuminate the night to the area his apartment is in, dim and ominous.

Y/N goes up to the eighth floor with the old elevator with the buttons often breaking down, to that he's just gonna say that the management is shit and never listens. He strides towards 834 and presses down hard on the doorbell.

"Coming!" a rather high-pitched and sharp voice yells and footsteps can be heard stomping close. And the door opens, with his little sister there and the big grin on her face, "why are you so late today onii-chan?"

Albeit speaking, she backs to the side to let him through then closes the door and locks it. Y/N heaves a deep sigh, "Well, your onii-chan broke his legs but there was recovery girl to help so," he places his shoes down on the shoe rack hard, "I don't have a valid excuse to skip work."

"And also I woke up too late from the nurse's office too, so I had to stay longer for the part-time," Y/N resumes to tell the unfortunate day to his sister as he leans on the kitchen counter and waits for the water to boil as the kettle brimmed with layers of black at the bottom lays on the stove. "The day was overall shit, but I also saw a lot of good ass lookin' people so that's a plus."

S/N chortles unmannerly and slaps the table like a seal, "AhaHAHAHAHh! Did you get their names?"

"Sadly no," Y/N responds with a shrug whilst the intrusive shriek of the kettle plays in the background. Swivelling to his back, he switches off the stove with a twist and begins pouring the scorching water into the cup noodle packets as he continues chatting to S/N, "Anyways, how's school nowadays?"

"Trash, I just went to school, listened to lessons, ate during lunch, listened to more lessons, got out of school, ate at this shitty restaurant then came back and binged drama."

"Well, that's not a very interesting day."

"Yeah sure you had an interesting day, now stop eating my fucking Tim tams."

"Watch your language, motherfucker. And I was the one who bought those Tim tams."

"BITCHASS YOU WANNA FIGHT? I BOUGHT IT!"

"DIPSHIT, I DID!"

"CRAZY BASTARD!"

"LITTLE SHIT!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, SOMEONE'S TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!" a slightly muffled voice disrupts them. Seems like it's the guy from the floor below. Man, the reasosn of why living in an apartment where the soundproof is shit are enough to fill a whole essay.

"SORRY, WEIRD GUY THAT WATCHES PORN LOUDLY EVERY AFTERNOON AT FIVE!"

"Y-YOU—"

"Sounds like someone passed out from jacking off too much." Y/N's words end up with the two stifling their giggles until one of their faces turn blue with the lack of oxygen and then they just both roar with hilarity until another neighbour screams at them to "shut your fucking mouths up for the sake of Jesus shitting Christ".

And the night goes on with moments with bellows of laughter and hushed tones discussing whether MFC is better or Rice King. These are the qualities that make a home feel homely to them.

Their house is worn out to say the least, with the large amount of cracks on the ceiling to doors that creak so loudly that you can hear it from the floor below and the terrible soundproof surfaces that always make the two teens wake up at like three in the morning just wondering is it a threesome or foursome the floor above is having tonight.

Albeit the apartment is quite broken-down, the duo attempts their best to embellish the home so it at least feels clean and tidy to make themselves feel better. But even if it isn't polished and neat to their standard, as long as they have each other, home can be anywhere.

.

TO NOTE

小狼狗；used to describe younger guys that are more domineering/secretly domineering. ( that's probably it idk )

pledge to be mine；以身相许, but i don't know how to really describe it in english to fit the scenario.

but anyways i hope yall enjoy this preview-ish chapter to the whole story! thank you~

NOT PROPERLY PROOFREAD

[soysaucevictim]

Poofed again.

-

Mar 2:

I’ve been up since about 7:11 AM.

I’ve mostly spent my day watching/listening to YouTube vids and gaming. :P

So I got my exercise in a bit later than ideal, but I got it done.

First, yesterday’s DD. 2′ butt kicks with EC. Rain-checked on this because my energy levels was really only up for my main workout's cardio. Was contemplating on breaking this up, even now, but glad I pressed on. Counted 249 reps, but heels stopped making consistent contact in the last ~20-50 reps. Oof. :U

Second, today’s DD. 60 scissors with EC. Got a smidge distracted today, but at least it's done on the due date. Pffft! Anyways, I like "crunch" variations where I can keep my head on the floor. :,D

Third, Day 18 of the FCP. Strength training. This was just manageable, relatively anaerobic so I didn’t feel quite as harried as yesterday. Tried to be more mindful about my squatting form - since I’ve noticed a few instances of knee complaints the last few times of ‘em. I think my knees were happier with me. Punches were fun as always~

Last, Day 18 of the TYTC. Simple and fun. Did get a bit of a head rush on the way up from the toe touch - probably a bit dehydrated or something (I did probably have too much sugar and salt for the day).

-

Mar 3:

Woke up ~11AM. And I spent most of the day watching YouTube and playing some games. Did also play some cards with family and made dinner.

Only exercise I managed to get done was the DD. 60 bicep extensions with EC. This was a fun way to wake up today! Nice to have a breezier DD at times. :D

Did attempt Day 19 of the FCP... I’ll just copy the tweets I made about it:

HHHHh- I hate holding elbow planks for longer than like a minute. Was only able to will myself through one set of this before going "Fuck it. I'm doing this one tomorrow. I just don't have the energy rn."

Midway into Set 2 I dropped my knees a few times but just kinda stopped at that point. My head just wasn't in the game. (While I'm glad this was going to be only 3 sets - I just yeah. Gdi, man. But I'm not abt to give up on this program, so help me.) :/

Part of why I feel not so great abt this kinda exercise was that time I tried to do the 5' [elbow] Plank Challenge. A bit >2' IS my failure point / PB. Where I can just feel myself pushing way too damn hard. So doing 3 sets of that with little rest is toeing the line of NOEP.

The whole ETD thing ALSO doesn't help me feel too comfortable with the idea of forcing me past that wall, too. I just need to remind myself - counting this day, there's only 2 more plank days in the program. If I can get through them - I'll be ok.

-

Mar 4:

Was up proper at around 10AM (got up a bit earlier but was too tired/sleepy to stay up). Almost same story as the day prior. Gaming, YouTube, showered, and did some laundry. So I was a little more productive.

Like yesterday, all I could make myself do was the DD again. 2′ side splits with EC. This was a fun one! Legs did start trembling near the end, but doing a few half jacks as warmup was very helpful and enjoyable too!

Ran into the same wall with FCP, today. I expanded on my thoughts/feelings about it on Twitter again.

Tried yesterday's workout again. STILL hit the same wall. I just. I'm legitimately upset. I'm tempted to table this program entirely. I just. Can't make myself do this. Maybe in the future? But not rn. Almost a third of the way left and it hurts emotionally.

Especially given how very MANAGEABLE the rest of this damn program is and has been. I wish I could find SOME way to frame this elbow plank shit in a way that helps sustainably. I'm angry, mostly at myself, I really don't want to give up again.

I'm trying to tell myself, failure is a learning opportunity and not the end of the world (which is actually too hyperbolic a sentiment in this case). But shit like me somehow scraping through the first plank day makes me go "how the fuck did I do that." soysaucevictim.tumblr.com/post/182889402… Reading that makes me wonder if I should just modify this day's workout in some way. Just to get through the damn thing with some credit. I know DAREBEE is all about accessibility and they don't hold it against you if you do need to modify. I've done it before.

Question remains, how would I go about it. Do I... - Allow knees to drop occasionally - Make some of the planks full planks (arms straight) - Or extend the rest periods out (tho FC's structure is about active rest - not sure how sustainable even slow jacks are gonna be)

Wound up spending time after those tweets just putting away laundry and getting notes together for my appointment tomorrow.

-

Mar 5:

Been up since almost 8AM. Was busy today... and super exhausted after everything.

Was picked up to get to my doctor appointment this morning. Voiced various concerns. Got a prescription [or really a recommendation, since it was OTC] for some earwax clearing solution, since it turns out there was some notable buildup and it probably contributed to ETD and tinnitus symptoms. (Amongst a few other things, but this helped to give me some clarity.)

Got to the facility... and experienced a panic episode over almost losing my Miniday Log to Excel crashing and unsuccessfully recovering it on it’s own. Couldn’t find it in the directory and noticed a few TMP files (with random strings of letters and numbers as filenames) in it’s place (date modified clued me into what I was actually looking at). Telling Excel to Open & Repair managed to be the fix. I was so relieved to’ve figured it out.

Doing the DD afterwards did help to calm my nerves a good deal (as well as Jewel Quest & socializing). 2′ leg extensions with EC (”donkey kicks”). Doing this DD also helped me feel a bit less restless afterwards. I counted exactly 100 reps, this time. A few false starts because I needed to cushion my knees, one being bruised from previous injuries. But yeah, I did enjoy doing this one.

Next, went to my psychiatrist appointment. Which went well enough, especially after some clarity from previous doctor’s appointment. As a  few of my concerns for both overlapped a bit. We decided to stay the course.

Got home a bit late, got hella distracted by the usual, and determined that I was too damn exhausted to workout. (Used the ear drops a couple times, spaced out. That was fucking weird in the sensory department - but I felt it helpful!)

-

Mar 6:

Been up since about 2PM (did get up some hours earlier, but decided I was too tired to stay up, esp after meds and breakfast.)

I spent almost my entire day playing games and watching YouTube. But I was goaded into playing some cards and I did get in my exercise for the day.

First, today’s DD. 20 supermen with EC. Rather late. I just wound up getting distracted by games... but got this one done without any issue.

Second, Day 19 of the FCP. The dreaded plank work. I decided I would allow myself to be okay with dropping my knees if I felt I had to. Did better than the past few attempts, got about halfway into the last set before I had to do that. I think too, that the ear drops helped. Acceptable performance. :P

Third, Day 20 of the FCP. Tendon strength work. Honestly the only tough part was the frontal holds, as opposed to the lateral ones. But as usual, I greatly enjoy this type of workout! :D

Last, Days 19+20 of the TYTC. Breezy fun, as usual. I like doing this challenge a bunch! =w=

I don’t feel like wrestling with my phone (yesterday it shut down constantly) to meditate tonight. Will be winding down soon.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #477

“hell doesn’t want them  /  hell doesn’t need them  /  hell doesn’t love them”

Which breed of dog do you find most scary? I'm not scared of them personally, but the sheer potential of the Tibetan mastiff is terrifying. I mean the thing hunts bears. What’s the secret to your success? What success? Do you keep any photos in your wallet? Yes, of some of my nieces and nephews. I need to organize my wallet and get all of them... Would you ever wear a white tuxedo? Eek, I think white wouldn't look good on me. I'd wear a black one, though. Do you prefer brown or white bread? Brown/wheat. Have you ever spent an entire day in bed? Ohhhh yes. I did that for years, literally until yesterday. I used to do everything in my bed. Now I've finally moved into the spare room when I'm on my laptop. Don’t you just find it annoying when people get too much plastic surgery? No? Do what you want with your body, boo. Whose birthday is next, out of all the people you know? My boyfriend's. Do you have embarrassing parents? Dad can be embarrassing. What’s something that really matters to you? My mental health. Tell me something interesting about one of your close relatives: Uhhh. I'm blanking. I'm not really close to my extended family. Do you like the smell of freshly-mown grass? NO NO NO I HATE IT. If given the opportunity, would you employ a monkey-servant? Absofuckinglutely not. That's horrible animal abuse. Do you get a lot of earwax (don’t be shy)? Yes. It's partially why I got wax adhered to my eardrums: I was pushing too much back with using q-tips too much. Do you find green eyes attractive? Very. Who depends on you the most? My pets. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? My mother comes to mind absolutely instantly, given she only has one kidney. Can you really be racist to a white person? It's possible to be racist towards any race... I've never understood this question. What was the first website you made an account on? I want to say Neopets. Do you listen to any podcasts? No. I'd love to listen to Mark, Bob, and Wade's, I'm just so bad with keeping up with podcasts. I've tried. Do you prefer long or short surveys? Long ones, if you couldn't tell. I combine surveys for a reason: I'd be spamming the FUCK out this place otherwise. Do you enjoy making YouTube videos or just watching? Watching. I miss making them honestly, but I just don't have the motivation to dedicate to even a short project. When I edited videos, I was VERY slow at it, and I just don't wanna invest the time anymore. Do you think vlogging in public is scary? I would be MORTIIFED. I don't know how some people can do it so confidently. Would you want to be in a collab channel on YouTube? I could see myself having a gaming channel where I was either with a friend or s/o. It'd be fun, like chilling on the couch and just chatting while playing. Not trying to be funny or anything, just... chillin'. Some people (myself included) enjoy that content. Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? I haven't, but it'd be cool. Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No. Do you prefer hoodies or sweaters more during the autumn? Hoodies. What's the best Halloween costume you had as a kid? I don't remember. Does family come to your home for the holidays, or do you go to theirs? We go to my older sister's place. Have you been diagnosed with CoVid-19 since the pandemic began? Not yet, but I'm getting tested Friday. How often do your pets have to visit the vet? Venus, essentially never unless she has a serious issue. Reptile doctors aren't very available here. Roman has only been to the vet once to get neutered. And I think his shots? How many times have you been in the hospital in your lifetime thus far? A good number of times. Cheese-Itz. Cheese Balls, Goldfish, or Cheetos? Ohhh, I think I have to go with Goldfish, but I like them all, save or Cheese Balls. Have you ever made your own trail mix before? What did you put in it? No. What is your favorite thing to eat alongside peanut butter? Chocolate. Do your pets sleep on the furniture or in their own pet beds? Venus is obviously in her terrarium, usually sleeping behind her water bowl. Roman always sleeps in my bed snuggling me. :') If you have dogs, how often do you take them for walks? We don't have a dog. Does anything on your body cause you chronic pain? Any chronic illnesses? Yes, my legs. I have chronic mental illnesses for sure. What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? Just rolls, ha ha. I'm not a fan of Thanksgiving food in general. Would you prefer cake or pie as a birthday treat? Cake; I don't like pie. What is something annoying about the person you like/love? Nothing he does really annoys me. What is something that makes you feel old? My knees and energy level in general, ha ha. And how early I can go to sleep nowadays. When's the last time you experienced a panic attack? Over what? Hm... I don't like to abuse the term panic attack, so I'm not entirely sure. I'm definitely familiar with them, but shit's gotta be pretty extreme for me to consider it a genuine panic attack and not an anxiety attack. Which professions do you feel deserve the highest amount of pay? Probably surgeons. Do you donate to a specific charity or cause on an annual basis? No, but I desperately wish I could. :/ What's the highest amount of money you received in a card? I want to say $300? My paternal grandpa was way, WAY too generous. Like seriously, I think the dude met my sisters and me ONCE. I really do wish I'd taken up Dad's offers to go to Michigan with him before he passed away. I only turned it down because he didn't have WiFi, which is a horrible, selfish excuse. I wanted to know him better. Did you get any scholarships or grants towards your education? I think? Have you ever wondered what your pets are saying to you? Roman? ALL the time, especially because when I talk to him, he usually answers in his own kind of meow. It's adorable. Have you ever had to turn someone in before? For what? No. Describe a time where one of your parents embarrassed you. Oh my goddddd. When Dad was helping me take care of my laptop when it was broken, he was consistently SO rude to the employees, convinced they were trying to scam him into paying more money. Which they certainly weren't. I wanted to DIE when we were in that store. Do you prefer grapes, raisins, or prunes? Grapes. The other two are gross. Have you ever had a party when your parents weren't home? No. What is something that irks you about your sibling(s)? Nothing. They're wonderful women. If you get married, will you take your spouse's last name? Yes, please get rid of my last name. Do you still eat Lunchables as an adult? Hell yeah, man. What's your favorite comfort food? Ice cream. If you had to work in a store, which would you choose, and why? An actually good pet store. Not a chain one that gets their pets from breeding farms and doesn't know jack shit about the animals. You won't ever see me adopt a pet, especially a reptile, from places like PetSmart and Petco. They are so goddamn ignorant. Hell, I'd probably be willing to work with people if I was an employee in a proper pet store, because I'd be so excited about the animals and helping them get adopted into homes that will suit and treat them well. If you were a teacher, which subject would you teach? English or science. Do you spend a lot of time outdoors in the summer? Hell no, I HATE summer. Do you have a desk in your room? Not my bedroom, no, but in the spare room/my "office," I do. I've finally moved into there to get out of my bed except for sleeping. I'll tell you, my back sure hurts, though. What did your favorite backpack in high school look like? Yo, I had the COOLEST Ouija board backpack. The zipper was even a planchette. Do you wear band tees? Of course. Frosting: chocolate or vanilla? Chocolateeeee. Ice cream: chocolate or vanilla? Depends on my mood. Do you drink protein shakes? No, I can't stand the taste. What is the highest name-brand thing you own? Nothing unrealistically expensive. What color GameBoy did you have as a kid? Red. What was your favorite GameBoy game? Man, I can't pick! My sisters and I had a whole lot. Do you have a PayPal account? No. Would you be interested in building a water feature for a garden? If *I* wasn't the one building it, sure, ha ha. A koi pond would be amazing. Do you consider the letter "Y" a consonant or a vowel? I see it as a consonant, but I know it can be a vowel. Pick a side, Y. Would you rather wear a tie or a bowtie? Hm, idk. Which birds are most common around your neighbourhood? Sparrows or robins? Idk. Are you the kind of person to look at accident sites, when passing them by? Admittedly, yes. Morbid curiosity is real. Have you ever seen a polydactyl cat? Only online. Are there any languages you could try to work out what some words mean? A good deal of German, probably. What is your dearest stuffed animal that you own? Why is that? My stuffed moose Brownie, which I got from Cabela's in Ohio. I cuddled him every night as a kid for MANY years. He's on my shelf now. <3 Have you ever had to try to pronounce words that have letters with umlauts? That's common in German, so. Are you more an Eeyore, a Piglet, or a Tigger? I'm Eeyore and Piglet's child. Name something awesome from another culture that is not part of yours: I'm not educated enough on other cultures to answer this, sadly. What are you grateful for NOT having? Various health conditions. What do you think is the most interesting sea creature? Man-o-wars. I mean c'mon, they have no brain. Do you currently own any teddy bears? Yeah, stored away. Have you ever caught fireflies? All the time as a little kid! My sisters and I loved that. Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? Not legally (to my knowledge), but I have a number of trans friends who have. Do you know anyone who has been on life support, and survived? No. At least, I don't think so. Do your parents have a strong relationship together? Holy fuck no. What was the last necklace you wore? It was my bottlecap one with the Halo of the Sun from Silent Hill 3 as the center. If there was such a thing as a mental health first aid kit, what would you want to be in it? Can it only be physical items? If that's the case, gimme a bit of candy, some money for a tattoo, a Mountain Dew, a new meerkat plushie to cuddle, a weighted blanket... Stuff like that.

[chroniclesofawkwardness]

Me and OBG(YN)

My left ear has been popping a lot for the past few days. I don’t know if I somehow got water in my ear canal, have an infection, or it’s just the Ghost of Q-Tips Past taunting me. Googling “water in ear” led me to a suggestion for removing it called the suction cup method. I was supposed to tilt my head to one side, rub my hand up and down over my ear, then pull it away quickly. Ideally, the resulting vacuum would give the water a chance to escape. It didn’t.

I tried another way: tilting my ear to one side and pulling down on my earlobe, hoping that straightening my ear canal would give whatever I felt in there a chance to evacuate. It didn’t. I swore I could feel something working its way to the fringe of my inner ear, yet retreating only millimeters from freedom.

After three or four attempts apiece at creating suction cups and reenacting the classic labyrinth marble tilt game (substituting my ears for the maze and whatever was in my ear for the marble), I decided to wait before cooking up a hairbrained home remedy and doing real damage to myself, if I hadn’t already. 

The popping and/or sloshing sound isn’t as pronounced today as it’s been over the past 48 hours. I hope it silences itself; I believe it will as long as I don’t try to touch my brain by passing my index finger through my ear. Whatever happens, the experience has allowed me to reflect on the last time I got something stuck in a bodily canal. 

For years, I didn’t think twice about using Q-Tips to clean my ears. It was something I’d always done. I’d heard the tips could break off, but I thought this always happened to somebody else, until that is, the day it happened to me. 

I met Dr. Petar Drača while I was leading the English conversation club at the American corner in Novi Sad. He was a gynecologist, his wife an anesthesiologist. I’d imagine they were in their late sixties or early seventies at the time. During dinner at their apartment one evening, they shared stories about their daughter, and their time Houston, Texas. Dr. Drača even got me a pair of ridiculously tight-fitting jeans with all sorts of designs on them when he saw I was struggling to find a decent pair of pants. Those jeans weren’t something I would have normally worn, but I was glad someone cared enough to do something like that for me when I was thousands of miles from home. Dr. Drača and his wife reminded me of my grandparents, who I missed terribly. 

Dr. Drača’s office was across the street from the American Corner, and up the street from the apartment I shared with Dragana. I continued leading the conversation club after I moved out of that apartment and into the one I’d later share with Zs., so I still got to see Dr. Drača’s office sign every Wednesday. 

I always thought I’d make it through life without requiring the services of a gynecologist like Dr. Drača. I hadn’t had any close calls since fifth grade, when Mrs. Layne had to remind me that I didn’t have ovaries after I freaked out about the possibility of ovarian cancer when it came up in health class or sex ed. Backed by Mrs. Layne’s anatomical assurance, I believed visiting a gynecologist was one less thing I’d have to worry about. I had no way of knowing how wrong I’d be, just as I’d been about my orange blood. If old habits die hard, old convictions die slowly.

As my relationship with Zs. deteriorated, so did my hygiene habits. Still, something I could not stand was a buildup of earwax. Removing it with a Q-Tip was one personal care routine I didn’t overlook. it required minimal effort, so it was perfect for someone in a weakened state of mind at the time, like me.

On probably a Tuesday, Zs.’s longest day at the university, I repeated the ritual of cleaning out my ears with a Q-Tip, as I had done thousands of times before without incident. Everything was fine until I heard the snap.

The tip of the Q-Tip I was using had broken off inside my ear; just like I’d been warned about hundreds of times.

Yet my first thought was not of my well-being:

Shit! If Zs. sees me like this, she’ll NEVER let me hear the end of it. She already hates me; the last thing I need to give her ammunition that comes from me having done something legitimately stupid. 

I knew I wouldn’t see Zs. for several hours, so I had time to think, but the paralysis of fear didn’t take long to kick in. had no idea how to go about getting the tip of the Q-Tip out of my ear. I didn’t have the tenderest of hands, so trying to remove it myself was out of the question. I had to think about not only how to explain my problem in Serbian, but also how to find someone who would help me no questions asked. I didn’t have health insurance at the time; there’d been no reason to. Being insured by an American carrier while overseas was cost-prohibitive, and health insurance wasn’t a requirement for foreigners in Serbia back then. I’d never been sick or damaged enough to need it.

Until that moment. 

The only doctor I knew I could trust was the same doctor who, due to his specialization, I could also assume would have tender hands. I decided I had to go see Dr. Drača the gynecologist and hope his wife, the anesthesiologist, could knock me out for three days after the removal, to spare me the wrath of Zs.

I found Dr. Drača‘s business card and called his number. Using a mixture of Serbian and English, I managed to explain what happened. He said I could stop by his office. Fortunately, I didn’t have to sit in stirrups; unfortunately, Dr. Drača didn’t have an appropriate instrument to remove the tip of the Q-Tip from my ear. He told me I’d need to see an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor (ENT). There was one in the office right next door, but as luck would have it, the doctor wasn’t in. I’d have to face the wrath of Zs. after all, and make an awkward trip to the Clinical Center of Vojvodina in the morning.

Zs. spent the night turned away from me as we slept, ridiculing me under her breath.

Dr. Drača had said the ENT could see me at 10:30 AM the next morning. A taxi could only take me so far due to restrictions on the types of vehicles allowed on the grounds. Dr. Drača had also told me exactly where I needed to go, but I’ve never been very good with directions. This left Q-Tip and me walking around in a state of confusion after I got out of the cab. 

For the next hour, I meandered through two or three buildings, saw my fair share of ambulances and gurneys, and started to wonder if I’d ever get the damn thing out of my ear. I didn’t ask for directions because I assumed most of the doctors and nurses I saw would be too wrapped up in their own worlds to help me. By the time I finally found the right place, I was so late that I was afraid the ENT wouldn’t be able to see me. 

I remembered something Zs.’s mother had once said when she came to visit after taking a notoriously behind schedule train from Subotica:

If you’re afraid of the end of the world, come to Serbia. It’ll get here a hundred years late. 

One part of me said that I didn’t have anything to worry about because Zs.’s mother was right. If the end of the world was going to take its time descending upon Serbia, why should I rush to see a doctor I’d never met, only for him to do something that will take all of a minute? I’d probably never see him again. What happened to me will become nothing more than a punchline at his next cocktail party, if that.  

As much as I had adapted to the more deliberate pace of life on the Balkans, the part of me that stil prized punctuality was panicking: “What happens if I can’t see the doctor? How long am I going to have to walk around with this thing in my ear? Zs. is going to love this.” Like I said, if old habits die hard, old convictions die slowly. 

Most of the patients I saw that day looked like the really needed to be there due to illness, not a hygienic mishap like I had. When I found someone who looked like a receptionist, I explained why I was there and who I’d come to see. I was certain she’d respond with, “You did what?” I wouldn’t have blamed her If she’d banished me to he section of the waiting room where old hardline Communists were playing cards with a disguised Ratko Mladić as they waited for Tito’s ghost to join them.

The ENT turned out to be a nice guy. He didn’t make fun of me though that would have been easy. When I explained that I had been referred to him after my unsuccessful gynecological visit, all he said was: 

“Who told you it was a good idea to clean out your ears with a Q-Tip?”

I wanted to shoot back:

“In Serbian, don’t you call those štapići za uši? Ear is part of the name. What was I supposed to do? It was an accident.” 

At that moment, I recalled how the consumerist culture I was born into called them Q-Tips, a brand name synonymous with the product itself, like Kleenex or Band-Aid. Would you know what to do if someone asked you for a cotton swab, facial tissue, or adhesive strip? I’d need a minute, just like I did when deciding how to respond. I thought I needed someone who’d help me no questions asked, yet the one question this man did ask me seemed perfectly reasonable.

“I don’t know. That’s how I’ve always done it,” I said. 

He removed the tip of the Q-Tip and told me that using a washcloth or anything less pointy would be a better choice to clean out my ears in the future. Alanis was right about the good advice that you just can’t take.

If necessity is the mother or invention, comfort is the mother of convention. My irony was that after trying an unconventional solution to a problem I created by doing something in a conventional manner, I ended up seeing a specialist for a dose of common sense.

Maybe doing things the way I’ve always done them isn’t always the best idea.  

I’m no gynecologist, but I’ll take a look.

[rosaginas]

11 Amazing Facts About Listening Devices

Maybe you've considered getting Nano hearing, but you're fretted about how it will look or whether it will actually assist. It might help ease your issues to know more about: The hearing aid options available to you What to try to find when buying a hearing aid How to get used to it Hearing aids can't bring back regular hearing. They can improve your hearing by enhancing soft sounds, assisting you hear sounds that you've had trouble hearing. How hearing aids work Hearing aids use the same fundamental parts to carry noises from the environment into your ear and make them louder. The majority of hearing aid devices are digital, and all are powered with a hearing aid battery. Small microphones gather sounds from the environment. A computer chip with an amplifier transforms the inbound noise into digital code. It examines and changes the noise based on your hearing loss, listening needs and the level of the sounds around you. The enhanced signals are then converted back into acoustic waves and provided to your ears through speakers. Hearing aid designs Hearing aids differ a lot in rate, size, unique features and the method they're positioned in your ear. The following are common hearing aid styles, beginning with the tiniest, least visible in the ear. Hearing aid designers keep making smaller sized hearing aids to satisfy the need for a hearing aid that is not really visible. But the smaller sized aids may not have the power to provide you the improved hearing you might anticipate. Entirely in the canal (CIC) or small CIC A completely-in-the-canal hearing aid is molded to fit inside your ear canal. It improves mild to moderate hearing loss in adults. A completely-in-the-canal hearing aid: Is the smallest and least visible type Is less likely to get wind noise Utilizes extremely little batteries, which have much shorter life and can be difficult to handle Doesn't consist of extra functions, such as volume control or a directional microphone Is prone to earwax obstructing the speaker In the canal An in-the-canal (ITC) hearing aid is custom-made molded and fits partly in the ear canal. This design can improve moderate to moderate hearing loss in adults. An in-the-canal hearing aid: Is less visible in the ear than bigger styles Includes features that won't fit on completely-in-the-canal aids, however might be challenging to change due to its small size Is vulnerable to earwax obstructing the speaker In the ear An in-the-ear (ITE) hearing aid is custom made in two designs-- one that fills most of the bowl-shaped area of your external ear (complete shell) and one that fills only the lower part (half shell). Both are practical for individuals with moderate to severe hearing loss. An in-the-ear hearing aid: Includes functions that do not fit on smaller design hearing aid devices, such as a volume control Might be much easier to manage Utilizes a larger battery for longer battery life Is prone to earwax clogging the speaker May get more wind noise than smaller sized devices Is more visible in the ear than smaller devices Behind the ear A behind-the-ear (BTE) hearing aid hooks over the top of your ear and rests behind the ear. A tube connects the hearing aid to a customized earpiece called an earmold that suits your ear canal. This type is appropriate for individuals of all ages and those with almost any kind of hearing loss. A behind-the-ear hearing aid: Typically has actually been the largest kind of hearing aid, though some more recent mini styles are streamlined and barely visible Is capable of more amplification than are other styles May get more wind sound than other designs Receiver in canal or receiver in the ear The receiver-in-canal (RIC) and receiver-in-the-ear (RITE) styles are similar to a behind-the-ear hearing aid with the speaker or receiver in the canal or in the ear. A tiny wire, rather than tubing, links the pieces. A receiver-in-canal hearing aid:

Has a less noticeable behind-the-ear portion Is susceptible to earwax clogging the speaker Open fit An open-fit hearing aid is a variation of the behind-the-ear hearing aid with a thin tube. This design keeps the ear canal very open, permitting low-frequency sounds to get in the ear naturally and for high-frequency sounds to be amplified through the hearing aid. This makes the style a good choice for individuals with moderate to moderate hearing loss. An open-fit hearing aid: Is less noticeable Doesn't plug the ear like the little in-the-canal hearing aids do, making your own voice sound much better to you Might be harder to deal with and adjust due to small parts Extra features Some hearing aid optional features enhance your capability to hear in particular circumstances: Sound reduction. All hearing aids have some amount of noise decrease readily available. The amount of noise reduction differs. Directional microphones. These are aligned on the hearing aid to attend to improved pick up of noises coming from in front of you with some decrease of noises coming from behind or beside you. Some hearing aids are capable of focusing in one direction. Directional microphones can enhance your capability to hear when you're in an environment with a great deal of background noise. Rechargeable batteries. Some hearing aids have rechargeable batteries. This can make maintenance simpler for you by removing the requirement to frequently change the battery. Telecoils. Telecoils make it easier to hear when talking on a telecoil-compatible telephone. The telecoil removes the sounds from your environment and just picks up the sounds from the telephone. Telecoils also pick up signals from public induction loop systems that can be found in some churches or theaters, permitting you to hear the speaker, play or motion picture better. Wireless connectivity. Significantly, hearing amplifiers can wirelessly user interface with certain Bluetooth-compatible devices, such as mobile phones, music gamers and televisions. You may need to use an intermediary device to pick up the phone or other signal and send it to the hearing aid. Remote controls. Some hearing aids feature a push-button control, so you can change features without touching the hearing aid. Direct audio input. This function allows you to plug in to audio from a tv, a computer or a music device with a cable. Variable programs. Some hearing aids can save numerous preprogrammed settings for different listening requirements and environments. Ecological noise control. Some hearing aids use sound cancellation, which helps shut out background noise. Some likewise provide wind noise decrease. Synchronization. For a private with two hearing aid devices, the aids can be configured to operate together so that adjustments made to a hearing aid on one ear (volume control or program changes) will also be made on the other aid, permitting easier control.

How do listening devices work?

The hearing aid gets sound through a microphone, which transforms the acoustic waves to electrical signals and sends them to an amplifier. The amplifier increases the power of the signals and after that sends them to the ear through a speaker. Still, I avoided the trip to the hearing expert. In part, I wasn't mentally ready to think about hearing aids while in my 50s. And to be truthful, I'm simply among those guys who too often overlook noncritical health matters. However a few months earlier, I decided to take action. And-- ta-da!-- today, I have hearing aids. I'm here to report that the experience has actually been terrific. It hasn't been best: I still have symptoms of ringing in the ears (which affects approximately 1 in 7 Americans, according to the American Ringing In The Ears Association); even with the hearing aids, the perpetual high-pitched static still continues in the background. The listening devices have a setting for tinnitus in which a counterbalancing sound-- typically waves on a rocky beach-- silently plays. I'll keep exploring, but up until now, this setting provides more diversion than remedy. Obviously, however, I remain in the minority; one survey showed that roughly 60 percent of tinnitus clients got some relief after they started to wear hearing aids. Another alternative for simple testing: Take the National Hearing Test by telephone. It's complimentary to AARP members, $8 for nonmembers. In many other ways, however, the devices have enhanced my hearing-- and my world.

Do listening devices work for everybody?

Most of people with moderate to moderate hearing loss can take advantage of hearing aids. Nevertheless, hearing aids do not work for everybody, including individuals with extreme to profound nerve deafness, or sensorineural hearing loss in both ears. ... It's also very essential to know that hearing aids do not work right now.

The thought of adding another piece to your morning regimen might appear complicated. Brush teeth. Wash face. Put in listening devices? Getting Nano hearing aids might seem like a huge dedication, especially in terms of expense and care, however the benefits of hearing aids are life-changing. Those who experience hearing loss may make a conscious choice to avoid exercise for worry of hurting themselves as a result of not hearing something. If your favorite aerobics class at the fitness center is lead by a soft speaker, you may not participate in class out of humiliation. If you love to walk the block with chatty next-door neighbors, you might remain a couple of jaunts instead of asking to duplicate the conversation.

It is essential to describe that a hearing aid will not restore your normal hearing. With practice, nevertheless, a hearing aid will increase your awareness of noises and what made them. If you believe you have a hearing problem, get examined by your personal physician. If your hearing is diminished, the physician will probably refer you to an otolaryngologist or audiologist. An otolaryngologist is a physician who focuses on treating the ear, nose and throat. An audiologist is a health expert who performs hearing tests to define your loss. Many otolaryngologists have audiologist associates in their offices. Presbycusis, one kind of hearing loss, accompanies age. Presbycusis can be triggered by modifications in the inner ear, acoustic nerve, middle ear or outer ear. Some of its causes are aging, loud noise, genetics, head injury, infection, disease, certain prescription drugs and blood circulation problems such as hypertension. It seems to be acquired. Tinnitus, also typical in older people, is the ringing, hissing, or roaring sound in the ears often triggered by direct exposure to loud noise or specific medicines. Tinnitus is a symptom that can come with any type of hearing loss. Hearing loss can by brought on by "ototoxic" medications that harm the inner ear. Some prescription antibiotics are ototoxic. Aspirin can cause momentary problems. If you're having a hearing issue, ask your medical professional about any medications you're taking. Hearing aids have a microphone, amplifier and speaker. Noise is received by the microphone, which transforms the acoustic waves to electrical signals and sends them to an amplifier. The amplifier increases the signals and then sends them to the ear through a speaker. Hearing aids are mostly useful to people who have suffered sensorineural hearing loss from damage to the little sensory cells in the inner ear known as hair cells. The damage can be brought on by illness, aging or injury from noise or drugs. A hearing aid amplifies sound vibrations. Surviving hair cells identify the bigger vibrations and transform them into signals that are sent out to the brain. There are limitations to the amplification a hearing aid can provide. In addition, if the inner ear is too harmed, even large vibrations will not be converted into signals to the brain. Myth: Hearing aids make your hearing regular once again. Fact: Hearing aids do not return your hearing to "normal." They can not "cure" your hearing loss, however they can help you listen and talk with others. Hearing aids can make your lifestyle much better. Myth: You can save time and money by purchasing hearing aids online or in a shop. Fact: You can discover Nano hearing aids online or in a shop. But, it is hard to understand if they are the right aids for you. Not every aid works for everyone, similar to the exact same glasses will not assist everybody see. An audiologist can assist. He will check your hearing and talk with you about the problems you have. He can make sure that the hearing aid you get will work for you. It might cost a bit more, however you will understand that the aids are the ones for you. Find out more about buying a hearing aid. Myth: A hearing aid will damage your hearing. Fact: A hearing aid that fits you and that you look after will not hurt your hearing. Myth: You do not require a hearing aid if you have a mild hearing loss. Fact: Everyone's hearing loss and listening requirements are different. Some individuals with a moderate hearing loss do fine without aids. Others discover that a hearing aid makes a big difference. An audiologist can assist you figure out what you need. Myth: You do not need to use 2 hearing aids. Fact: You normally hear with 2 ears. Using binaural, or two-eared, hearing aids assists you in numerous ways. It lets you figure out where sounds originated from, called localization. It helps in loud places and makes sounds more natural. Using 2 aids might make it easier to comprehend what others state. Myth: The small hearing aids that you use in your ear are the very best hearing aids to buy. Fact: There are a number of hearing aid styles. All are high quality, or "state of the art." The little Nano hearing are nice due to the fact that others can not see them. Nevertheless, they do not work for everyone. You require to buy a hearing aid that meets your hearing and listening requirements. An audiologist can help you figure out which aid you need. Staying physically active is one of the many benefits of listening devices. Though it is possible to keep up with your physical health while experiencing hearing loss, treating the problem can cause a more considerable physical lifestyle. Johns Hopkins even connected hearing loss with a greater threat of falling in their 2012 release. Those with neglected hearing loss are 3 times more likely to fall. Avoid that danger by wearing hearing aids. Wearing hearing aids slows down the mental decrease that naturally comes with age. The National Institute of Health carried out a study on cognitive aging. They discovered that for Americans over the age of 65, cognitive capabilities do decrease no matter whether the person has a designated mental condition (i.e. dementia or Alzheimer's). Their research study helps reveal natural brain aging, which can then be used as a relative marker for psychological health problems

Did you understand wearing listening devices could prevent more cognitive aging? If you hope to stave off the possibility of dementia and extreme mental decrease, hearing aids may help. Furthermore, hearing aids decrease your probability of developing depression, assist you to focus when you're not having a hard time to hear what is going on around you, and improve your directional understanding. If you suffer from ringing in the ears, a hearing device can avoid the illness from intensifying and prevent ringing in your ears. The mix of these take advantage of hearing amplifiers significantly improves mental health.

Feeling much better about yourself and hearing the world around you can make mingling more fun. Improved psychological health equates to better relationships with those around you because you will be better, more unwinded, and able to participate in conversations. If you can hear while out at a restaurant or celebration, you are most likely to fulfill new people and have meaningful interactions with those you do know. This causes even more social engagements and a more satisfying social life. The Hearing Journal posted a piece on how lifestyle increases with hearing aid wear. In their research study of listening devices users and non-users, they found that the introduction of hearing aids improved 4 out of 10 participants' lives. They pointed out enhancements in everything from self-esteem to self-reliance to work relationships. Additionally, 75 percent cited at least one location of their life improving as a result of using listening devices. Helping you get involved in the conversation and combating seclusion is among the most crucial benefits of hearing aids. How Using Hearing Aids Positively Affects Your Mental Health If you already use listening devices, you know the sort of benefits they offer you. Listening devices have probably made it much easier to have conversations with your friends and family-- specifically when you're out at restaurants or in a group. However hearing aids types do far more than enhance your social life. They may really have a profound impact on your brain by keeping you psychologically sharp, lowering your risk of anxiety, and improving your balance. If you currently wear hearing aids all the time, pat yourself on the back; you might already be enhancing your brain function! If you only use them sometimes (or hardly ever), here are 4 facts-- backed by medical research studies-- that may encourage you to wear them regularly. 1) Hearing Aids May Lower Your Danger of Age-related Cognitive Decrease In this 25-year research study, scientists measured psychological decline in people with hearing loss and individuals with normal hearing. The study discovered that individuals who had hearing loss-- and selected not to use hearing aids-- showed substantial mental decrease compared to people with typical hearing. Nevertheless, people with hearing loss who used hearing aids carried out the exact same on cognitive tests as individuals with no hearing loss! Want to remain sharp as you age? Keep wearing those hearing aids.

How do you understand you require listening devices?

You have trouble hearing on the telephone. You have difficulty following a conversation when individuals are talking at the same time. The household (or your neighbor!) complains that your TV is too loud. You're tired from straining to hear discussions. You have trouble hearing in loud environments. You state "What?" a lot. 2) Hearing Aids Can Enhance Memory and Mental Acuity A current research study from Texas A&M University checked a group of individuals with hearing loss on a series of tasks to determine their memory, ability to focus, and the speed at which they process info. Then they offered the participants hearing aids. After just six weeks of wearing listening devices, participants saw enhancements in all areas of cognitive function. They might remember things better, focus much better, and revealed they were processing information quicker than in the past. Not just can hearing aids keep you mentally sharp, but having much better memory and focus along with faster mental processing really makes you seem more youthful to individuals you connect with every day! 3) Individuals Who Wear Hearing Aids Report Lower Levels of Depression The National Council on Aging surveyed over 4,000 individuals with hearing loss, both with and without hearing aid devices. Amongst a myriad of findings, they found that people who chose to wear listening devices reported lower levels of anxiety and showed fewer outward signs of being depressed. They also discovered that people with hearing aids revealed higher emotional stability and their households reported that they were less likely to become angry or annoyed. Overall, participants who used hearing aids felt that they had more control over their lives and a more favorable outlook in general. To remain positive and happy, make sure you're using your listening devices. 4) Hearing Aids Enhance Balance and Might Minimize the Risk of Falling for People Over 65

Although hearing loss has long been related to an increased threat of falls in older adults, researchers at The Washington University School of Medication discovered that, people with hearing loss performed better on balance tests and were less likely to fall when they used listening devices. Having much better balance with hearing aids suggests a decreased chance of significant injuries and a lower danger of costly hospitalizations. Do you wish to experience better brain function, lower your threat of depression and mental decline, and be at lower danger of falling? Wearing your hearing aids more frequently can help. As a side advantage, the households of individuals who have hearing loss report that those who wear hearing aids get involved more in social activities and have better relationships with individuals they enjoy as a result-- creating a higher quality of life overall. Since May is Much Better Hearing and Speech Month, this is the ideal time to increase your awareness of hearing loss concerns and the advantages of hearing aids. We encourage you not only to wear your hearing aids types more frequently for your own benefit however to also pass this info on to friends and family who have not yet addressed their hearing loss and encourage them to get it had a look at. Let's help everyone improve their lives and long-term health by treating hearing loss today!

[hiraethstill]

okay so I just thought of this and I don't know if you like it, but imagine Kuroo in Slytherin (because he definitely would be one) meeting with Kenma somehow and then becoming best friends and Kuroo convincing Kenma to play quidditch and I don't know what was my original point with this but could you write something with it? because these two is one of my several brotps in haikyuu

Can’t Say No

Kuroo had always been the type to gravitate to the loud, bright kids, sure, but there was something alluring about the shadows as well, an isolated sort of solace he found in being independent, solitary. It served him well, growing up in pureblood family with four younger siblings; he knew his boundaries, when he just didn’t want to deal with anyone. Maybe that was why he was looking for an empty compartment on the train, for a quiet place for introspection as he headed for Hogwarts for his second year.

Kuroo had been wandering through train cars until he reached the very last one, which seemed quieter, more still. Perfect. He peeked into a few compartments - a leering group of sixth years in this one, a couple of fifth years snogging in that one - and finally came to the very last one.

There was a lone boy in it, an incoming  first year, given that he had no house insignia on his uniform, no colors. He didn’t even look up as Kuroo slid the door open.

“May I sit here?” he asked.

Two amber eyes peeked up at him through a fringe of dyed hair, and the boy gave a barely perceptible nod.

Grinning slightly, Kuroo dragged his suitcases in and situated himself right across from him. The boy didn’t seem to want to talk, as engrossed in a Muggle handheld device as he was, and Kuroo was here for the quiet anyway, so he propped his chin up with his elbow on the windowsill.

It was about an hour of companionable silence later that he found himself glancing at the device every so often. It fascinated him - something that didn’t run on magic but could sustain itself for hours? Amazing. He noticed the letters PSP on the back of it, between the slender fingers holding it up.

“You’re not very subtle.”

Kuroo glanced up. The boy’s eyes hadn’t strayed from the screen, but a small smile curled the edges of his lips.

Of course, Kuroo had to play it cool. He had a pureblood reputation to uphold, after all, drilled into him by his stickler parents. “I dunno what you’re talking about.”

The boy just sighed slightly, a small puff of air more than anything else. “I’ll let you play if you really want to. Just let me save my progress.”

All pretense left Kuroo. “I don’t know how to play, though.”

The boy hit a few buttons and finally put the PSP device down. “It’s not that hard. Come to this side and I’ll show you.”

Eagerly, he scrambled over the table between them and sat down next to him, peering over. “Uh, okay, so how does it work?”

The blonde slid it over. “You should probably pick it up first.”

“Right.” He hoped his hands weren’t sweating. He didn’t want to ruin this kid’s obviously beloved game. “Then what?”

The other pointed at different buttons, quietly explaining their functions and guiding Kuroo’s hands until he had it right. Then he pressed something to start on a basic level and Kuroo nearly panicked.

“The screen is moving?”

The boy blinked at him. “It’s supposed to do that.”

Kuroo shook his head in awe. “Non-magic things are so cool.”

He was rewarded with another small smile. “Never had much experience with magical things, so.”

Kuroo blinked, trying not to lose his concentration by staring at his face instead. “Maybe I should give you Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans to get you started.”

“What?”

He tried to finish the level but failed halfway through and set it down on the table. “Hold,” he said, and pulled his bag over to take out a pack, opening it and holding it out. “Now close your eyes and take one.”

Frowning slightly, the other boy did as told, squeezing his eyes shut. Kuroo briefly noted how much younger his face looked without the piercing gaze.

“Now eat it!”

The kid opened his eyes and looked at the bean. “Are you sure…?”

He nodded enthusiastically. “Positive.”

Hesitantly, he put the bean in his mouth, and he rolled it around before swallowing consideringly. “Tastes like apple pie.”

“You’re lucky,” Kuroo observed. “I usually get the bad ones, like earwax or cat fur.” He shuddered, but chuckled when the others’ eyes went wide.

“There’s actual earwax in it…?”

He laughed harder. “Nah, nah, it’s just a flavor. Just magic.”

They spent the better part of an hour trying more beans and moving on to the other snacks Kuroo had brought with him, and comparing different games and such in the Muggle and magic worlds. Kuroo learned about volleyball and basketball and soccer, while the other learned about Quidditch.

“You should join the Quidditch team!” Kuroo enthused. “I’m totally gonna be the captain one day.”

The boy sighed slightly. “It sounds like too much work. Also, I’m not… well, not good with people, really.”

“Aw man, don’t say that!” Kuroo felt immediately protective of him. “I can be your friend! And if you get into Slytherin like me, you’ll join the Quidditch team, okay?”

The amber eyes regarded him for a moment, then looked away. “Alright,” he said softly.

Kuroo considered it a victory.

The two of them didn’t even realize at first that they’d reached their destination until they heard the loud whistle and the clamor of trunks and chatter drifting toward them through the hallway. Kuroo stood up, and after packing his PSP away neatly, the other kid did as well. As they were lugging their things outside the train and the first years were being called over to the boat, Kuroo realized they hadn’t even exchanged names.

“Wait,” he said. “I’m Tetsurou Kuroo.”

The boy gave that small, mysterious smile again. “Kenma Kozume.”

“I’ll be seeing you, right?” he asked before Kenma got pulled away.

Kenma gave a small nod before disappearing into the crowd.

The next time Kuroo saw Kenma was at the Sorting ceremony. The hat slid over his ears partway, and sat there for a while, ruminating, as Kenma looked increasingly uncomfortable.

Please be Slytherin. Please be Slytherin. Please be Slytherin.

As if on cue, the hat shrieked, “SLYTHERIN!”

The table around him erupted into applause and cheers, and Kenma trudged over, slightly weary as he was slapped on the back, and sat next to Kuroo. Clearly, he didn’t enjoy the attention.

“Hey,” Kuroo said, grinning and sliding a bit closer. “Welcome to the house.”

Kenma gave a noncommittal grunt. “Not sure if I’m cut out for it.”

He tried for an encouraging smile. “The hat put you here for a reason.”

“It was conflicted between Ravenclaw and here.”

He shrugged. “Either way, you’re gonna be great. Also, you gotta try Quidditch now!”

Kenma gave him a cautious look, as if Kuroo was a puzzle he was trying to solve. “I’ll try, I suppose.”

Kenma turned out to be just right for a Seeker, small and swift when he needed to be. It was a relief since they hadn’t been able to find anyone else to do the job, and Kuroo had managed to persuade him to stay. He grew finely attuned to the nuances of the game in almost no time, even if he did complain about it being too much work every so often. And if Kuroo, who played Keeper, stayed late after practice perfecting diving techniques and such until he nearly fell off his broom from exhaustion, he often stayed as well, his large, observant eyes observing and absorbing from the sidelines, sometimes joining in if he could fill a position and felt up to it.

It was one such night in Kenma’s third year and Kuroo’s fourth year, when everyone else was gone and Kuroo was leaning over the edge of his broom, wheezing, that Kenma finally put his foot down.

“Kuro,” he said, drifting closer on his own broom. “Stop it.”

“One more,” the now vice captain managed. “I’ll get it perfectly, and then we can go back, promise.”

Kenma shook his head and took hold of Kuroo’s hand, willing his own broom downward toward the exit and dragging him along. “You’re not going to keep going and hurt yourself.”

“But the match tomorrow–”

“Will be fine,” Kenma interrupted. “You’re good, the team’s good, and you’re a solid defense. It won’t help you to overwork yourself now and be tired and worn out tomorrow.”

Kuroo didn’t have anything to say to that, so he let Kenma lead him through the halls and back to his dormitory, even let him force him into bed and pull up the covers around him.

“Sleep, okay?” Kenma asked, softer than usual this time. His tone seemed to say, I worry.

So Kuroo nodded thickly and smiled weakly at him, silently conveying his thanks.

Hopefully it’s not glaringly romantic or anything - how you interpret it is up to you. This was also another idea I unknowingly ran away with. :) Also, why do I keep making poor Kuroo overwork himself? The child needs to be happy.

[wearesungreenmylove]

Chapter Ten: Christmas At The Weasley’s

Word Count: 1975

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Luna’s tumblr is @stanverscom

also on ao3 and wattpad

I bounce on my heels as I scoop Gingersnap up and stuff her into her container.

“Meoooooooow,” She whines, and I shush her.

“Be quiet, Gi, we’re going home!” I shut the latch on my suitcase and drag both her and the suitcase down into the common room.

Scorpius is sitting by the fire, staring into the crackling flames and not moving.

“You’re staying here again?” I ask. I try not to sound surprised, but he notices. I can tell by the way his shoulders curl up around his shoulders.

“Yep,” He says. “It’s not any different than any other year.”

“You don’t think…” I trail off. It’s not my place. “Right.”

He turns to look at me, and he smiles sadly. “Happy Christmas, Rose,” He says.

I smile back. “Happy Christmas,” I respond.

I would stay with him, but after last year Mum made me promise to come back this Christmas, and even though my parents have warmed up to Scorpius, I don’t want to risk making them resent him.

He turns back to the fire, so I leave without another word.

It feels wrong, but I don’t know what else to say.

…

I climb up the stairs to the Hogwarts Express and walk into my usual compartment. I close the door and let Gingersnap climb out of her cage and explore the compartment. Satisfied, she curls up on the seat and falls asleep. I buy and eat an entire box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans without too much trouble. ( I got a Vomit, Earwax, and a Boogey flavour). The ride is quiet, but I don’t mind. Silence is better than sharing a compartment with James.

I get off the train and see my family.

“How was Hogwarts?” Ron asks my brother and me.

“It was so great, Dad! I got to see a hippogriff!” Hugo says excitedly.

“It was fun!” I say. “I joined the quidditch team and Scorpius, Bordeaux and I were scoring a bunch of points, and our seeker, Alaska Hare, is really good. Like really good.”

“I’m gonna join the quidditch team when I get older!” Hugo announces proudly.

“I look forward to beating my little brother.” I tease.

He sticks his tongue out at me.

“I’m glad you two had fun.” Mum rolls her eyes and picks up my trunk. “Come on,” She says and leaves. I follow her to the car. On the way there, I see Mr. Malfoy looking hopefully at the Hogwarts Express. Why I wonder, is he waiting for someone who will never come? He waits for Scorpius every year. Hopeful, but deep down, knowing the truth. Why I wonder, avoid your family like fire?

⋯

When I get home, the whole family is there for Christmas Eve. Uncle George and Aunt Angelina, with Roxanne and Fred II. Gramma Molly and Grandpa Arthur, Uncle Percy and  Aunt Audrey, with Molly and Lucy, Uncle Bill and Aunt Fleur, with Dominique and Louis, Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny, with James, Albus, and Lily. Victoire and Teddy also show up together. Hagrid is there, too, and Professor Longbottom.

“Happy Christmas, Rose,’’ Professor Longbottom says, and then he has to leave. Hagrid drops off his presents and then is on his way, and then the place goes into chaos. The only other children besides me that aren’t crazy are Victoire and Teddy, and they’re technically not ‘children’, both being 18. James, Dominique, Louis, Hugo, Roxanne, and Fred II all run off to play Quidditch, and Lily, Molly, and Lucy all group up and giggle about things, while Albus sits quietly on an armchair. “Albus!” I wave at him. He gets up and wanders over to me.

“Did you hear,” he says, and then starts ranting about the wonders of unicorns. I smile and nod, but I’m not listening; I’m wondering what Scorpius is doing, alone at Hogwarts without his family.

Soon we are all crowded into the kitchen and living room for dinner. In the summer we always eat outside, but since it’s the Christmas holidays we’re all inside enjoying the warmth. There’s a strong chorus of “Can you please pass the potatoes?” and “Is that turkey? I’ll have some of that, please!” throughout the kitchen. I relax when I step into the quiet living room. At least, quiet compared to the kitchen. You can still hear everyone in the kitchen talking to each other as they pile food onto their plates. I flop onto the couch, careful not to spill my food onto the floor. Soon enough everybody starts walking into the living room.

After everyone eats, it’s Hugo, Victoire, Teddy, and I’s job to put away the food and do the dishes the muggle way. This leaves my prankster of a cousin free to do whatever he pleases.

I hear a very familiar sounding song being sung by James and I pale.

“SCORPIUS AND ROSIE, SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE, THEN COMES THE BABY IN A BABY CARRIAGE!” He bellows.

“Sorry guys, I have to go!” I tell my brother, Victoire, and Teddy. I run up the stairs into the room I’m sharing with Lily and lock the door behind me.

I need to focus, I tell myself. Focus. Focus. Focus.

I take a deep breath in, then exhale. My mind is still racing, but at least my heart has slowed.

I lift one of the floorboards up to reveal a box. I open it and see all the pictures I’ve taken. I look through one pile of Scorpius and I, too angry with James and too embarrassed of what he might have told everyone else to bother looking through the family pictures, look through my pictures of Scorpius instead. My favourite picture of us is when we were on the roof. I bring my camera everywhere, I think, amused. I fall into a fitful sleep, skipping dessert entirely.

⋯

I momentarily forget about my anger with James on Christmas morning. I rush down the long flight of stairs from Lily and I’s room into the family room and start emptying my stocking. All the kids are already there, munching on Saint Nick’s leftover cookies. I brush past them, staring at the mound of presents underneath the tree. I sigh as I see a small box under the tree with my name on it from Gramma Molly. That can only mean one thing. Sweaters. Sure enough, a navy sweater with an R on it is in that box and I put it on, for now, vowing to never wear it again after this day.  

I spend the day mostly happy, (as long as I steer clear of James), preferring to spend my time with Albus (who I am quite fond of) and take pictures.

“Maybe you could be a photographer for the Daily Prophet one day Rosie,” Lily suggests, “Since you love taking pictures so much.”

“Maybe,” I reply.

⋯

Too soon, or perhaps not soon enough, it is time to return to school.

“Good-bye Rosie, see you after schools’ up!” Mum calls after me as I board the Hogwarts Express.

“Bye, Mum,” I say, rolling my eyes to myself.

⋯

I get off the Hogwarts Express without my luggage or Gingersnap, trusting the house elves to take care of them.

I smile as I see Scorpius running towards me from school.

“I was looking everywhere for you!” He says when he catches up to me.

“Why?” I ask.

He takes a deep breath and asks, “If 120-X = 3 times 4, then what is X?”

I burst out laughing. “You ran all the way out HERE to ask me a question about homework?!”

“Yeah,” Scorpius says, looking confused, still panting slightly from running. “Why wouldn't I?”

“Nevermind. What class is this for? Arithmancy?”

“Yep!.”

“Huh,” I say. I didn’t know he took that class.

“Yeah.”

I rack my brains for the answer (I’m out of practice!) and say “It’s negative one hundred eight.”

“Thanks,” he says. He runs his left hand through his hair, and it sticks up. I take a step towards him and flatten it. He looks up at me and opens his mouth to speak. “Hey, um. Do you want to hang out sometime?”

I allow myself a small smile and say jokingly “Don’t we already hang out?” He looks heartbroken. My hand, which is at my side seems to have a mind of its own. It reaches for his hair and I run my fingers through it, successfully messing it up again.. I take a step closer to him and lift his chin up so that his eyes meet mine. “Scorpius,” I say. I hear a crash from the woods, but don’t turn my head. It’s probably just Grawp having another tantrum. Sometimes I wonder why they let him teach. I hear the rustling of the leaves and students’  voices carrying across the lawn.

Wait, there’s no wind. I think, why would the leaves be rustling? Scorpius stiffens, his eyes full of alarm. I turn around and see a beast. It’s lean and almost hairless. It growls.

“Run,” I say. And we do as if a werewolf is right on our heels.

Scorpius trips in front of me and we both go flying. I’m breathing heavily now, adrenaline is rushing through my body and I feel as if we’re being watched. Oh, how I wish I was safe inside the Ravenclaw common room, snuggling with a book in my favourite armchair.

I hear panting, and at first, I think it’s Scorpius, but these breaths sound more… dog-ish. I look five feet to my right and see the beast. It’s sharp canines protrude from its mouth, saliva drips onto the grass and I identify it. Werewolf.

I put my hand in my pocket, searching for my wand. It’s not there. I left it in my dormitory. I mentally bang my head. Stupid, stupid, stupid… Scorpius is lying beside me, barely conscious. “Give me your wand.” I hiss at him. He doesn’t respond. I frantically search through his robes. “Where is it?!? Where did you put your wand?!?” I finally find it and raise it to where the werewolf was standing. It’s gone.

I wake Scorpius enough that he can lean on my shoulder and walk. I lead him to the Infirmary where Miss Moone hovers over us,  warning us to be careful and such things. She starts ranting as she grabs a bottle, but I focus on Scorpius’s face, zoning out.

I sit in a daze by Scorpius’s bed for hours, longer than Miss Moone would usually let a visitor stay, but I sensed that she took pity on me as it is no secret how close Scorpius and I are close. Eventually, she shoo’s me off, insisting that I need to sleep, and I return to my bunk, although I do anything but sleep. Instead, I stare at the wall, Scorpius's unconscious form flashing through my brain every time I close my eyes.

…

The sun’s pink rays scrape the sky as I walk out of the dormitory. I sneak down the halls to the Infirmary.  Once I see him lying in the bed I feel the adrenaline fade and I feel as if I am made of lead. I sit in the chair beside his bed and feel my eyes droop.

I am woken by someone shaking me.  “Rose Weasley, GET UP!!!” I turn my head and find Miss Moone’s face three inches from mine.

“Huh?” I say groggily (I never was a morning person).

“You’re going to miss your classes.” My face remains emotionless. “It’s already half past nine. Get up!”

“It’s Saturday. Leave me alone.” And she does. But not after protesting a little bit more. I am left in the clean, cold silence. I find a blanket and fall asleep again.

[fadingfartconnoisseur]

My Best Travel Moments of 2017

Last year, I wrote that 2016 turned out to be a lot worse than I expected. And not only because of the election. It was a rough year in many ways.

2017 has been a lot better, thankfully. A better business year, a better personal year, even in spite of all the fears ushered in by this new political era. And while my travels were significantly more dialed down than past years, I felt like my travel itch was fully scratched. I’m especially happy that so many domestic destinations now have budgets for campaigns — a few years ago, it seemed like the only paid work to be had was in Europe.

This year I didn’t go as far as usual — my travels were concentrated in the US, Caribbean, and Europe, though I did travel to seven new countries (St. Kitts and Nevis, Moldova, Ukraine, Belarus, Lithuania, Estonia, and Russia).

These are the moments that brought me the most joy.

Standing above the ghost town of Pripyat, Ukraine

Visiting Chernobyl was one of the most moving experiences I’ve had during my travels. But while visiting Chernobyl and the plant itself was interesting, the most fascinating part of the trip was visiting the ghost town of Pripyat.

In the 31 years since the Chernobyl disaster, the forest has reclaimed the city. Giant trees now push up against every building. It’s so dense, you often don’t realize that you’re right in front of a building until your guide points it out to you.

Then came the grand finale. We climbed eight floors up to the top of an apartment building and looked across the landscape. Only then did we realize how close the buildings were to each other, and we were able to make out the edges of a town.

Only then did everything coalesce for me. This was once an actual town with everything you could possibly need. It was like the place where I grew up. And it was abandoned in the blink of an eye. What an incredible place to visit.

READ MORE: What’s It Like to Tour Chernobyl Today?

Witnessing the Hemingway Lookalike Contest in Key West

I have a big list of festivals I’ve wanted to experience for years, and one of them is the Hemingway lookalike contest for Hemingway Days in Key West. How hilarious is this? All these men dressed up as Hemingway were so hardcore about it!

This is a serious competition, to become one of the “papas.” Nobody half-assed it — they had elaborate costumes and one-liners. My favorite competitor, a gentleman from Denmark, said that he chose to enter because, “I got off the plane and the immigration officer said, ‘Welcome to Florida, Mr. Hemingway.'”

Hanging out with all those Hemingways in a place as fun and rollicking as Key West? Amazing. I enjoyed that contest so much, I came SO close to spending $1000 out of pocket so I could stay two days longer. Financial sense won out, but I need to return and catch the whole competition.

I even picked out my favorite sexy Hemingway. And no, it wasn’t the one Young Hemingway that was a finalist. Translation: I am old.

READ MORE: A Sizzling Summer Trip to the Florida Keys

Meeting My Feminist Heroes

This past spring I ended up meeting two of my favorite feminist icons within a few days of each other! First, I went to a book reading by Lindy West, whose book Shrill was one of my favorite reads of 2016 (and who is now a New York Times columnist — I’m so thrilled for her!).

Soon after, my friend Amy invited me last-minute to an event promoting reproductive rights and Dr. Willie Parker’s book Life Code. The featured speaker? The legendary Gloria Steinem.

I had to tell her what she meant to me. After the event finished, I went up to her, introduced myself, and told her about the work I was doing to equalize the playing field in the travel blogging industry. “I’m continuing your work,” I told her. “No,” she gently corrected me. “You’re continuing your work and I support you.” How amazing is that?

(Though I have to say that the funniest thing was that Olivia Wilde was there, wearing a mini backpack that was partially unzipped, and Amy zipped it up while saying, “Hey, Olivia, just letting you know your bag’s open and I’m zipping it for you!”)

The Smoothest Arrival in Vilnius, Lithuania

Sometimes the best moments are born out of the worst. Minsk was a struggle for me — it was a large and incomprehensible city with a severe language barrier and almost no wifi. Plus, I nearly had a disaster when I had to get a last-minute flight out when I learned my visa-free terms wouldn’t let me leave by train.

But then I landed in Vilnius and it was all so mellifluous.

I got on actual, working wifi at the airport. I went outside and found a taxi driver. In perfect English, he welcomed me to Lithuania and told me what the estimated cost would be, then assured me he would be using a meter. The ride was smooth; he played great dance music. I got to my apartment rental and let myself in using the key codes, no meetup with the host necessary.

It was late, but I went out for a walk and sat down at an outdoor French cafe, sipping a glass of wine and giggling at the kilted Scottish football fans surrounding me. It was a return to order and beauty that I had been missing for days. All the stress of Belarus melted away in an instant.

Doing Bertie Bots Roulette at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter with Cailin

I love doing Facebook Lives for you guys, but this one was probably the best idea and the funniest result. Bertie Bots Jelly Beans were an invention in the Harry Potter novels that was actually brought to real life! You can get them everywhere, but Cailin and I definitely had to try them at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios in Orlando.

They look like Jelly Belly beans. Some flavors are normal: marshmallow, cinnamon, banana. And some flavors are outlandish: soap, booger, earwax. So what did we do? Bertie Botts Roulette! We would try the flavors without knowing and act accordingly!

Good flavors were a relief; bad flavors were horrific. But I think we held it together until we got the VOMIT flavored beans! We were shrieking, running away, cracking up everyone around us. If I never have a vomit-flavored jelly bean again, it will be too soon.

Hiking with Llamas in Vail, Colorado

This is probably the single best activity I did this year. Colorado is a brilliant destination for hiking, but it gets even better when you get to bring llamas along! Paragon Guides offers a variety of excursions through the mountains surrounding Vail. I went on a guided hike outside the town of Minturn that included a picnic lunch.

We were given two llamas named Kareem and Bailey. Bailey loved to eat blueberries; Kareem actually sneezed in my face, to the laughter of everyone present. Llamas really are sweet animals. They had the softest fur, they were fairly obedient (assuming they weren’t going to town on a mound of grass at the time), and they made beautiful companions on Instagram!

I also want to give a shout-out to my guide Paul, who was incredible kind, friendly, and personable. Having a great guide makes a wonderful tour even better. I felt like I left the tour with a new friend.

READ MORE: Vail, Colorado, Might Be Better in the Summer!

Rocking Out at the Air Guitar World Championships in Oulu, Finland

This is another festival I’ve yearned to experience for years, long since before I became a travel blogger. The Air Guitar World Championships take place every August in Oulu, Finland, a small city on the Arctic Circle, and people from around the world compete for the title. When my friends at Visit Finland asked me if I wanted to come back for another summer visit, I immediately asked if I could come for the festival. Wish granted!

People were so creative with their costumes and personalities! From the French goofball who performed to “Foux du Fafa” to the hardcore fifteen-year-old Japanese sumo character, to the women who were rocking out in the male-dominated environment, I enjoyed watching and cheering from the audience!

It’s crazy, but even better than the competition was hanging out with everyone at the after-parties. As you can imagine, the kind of people who compete in air guitar are a bit crazy to begin with, and they were a LOT of fun to party with! I had only slept an hour the night before, but somehow I kept going until 5:00 AM…

READ MORE: Finland in the Summer: Quirky, Isolated, and Pretty

Watching Planes Take Off on Maho Beach, St. Maarten

I had always heard that watching planes land just steps from Maho Beach on St. Maarten was a crazy and memorable experience. But this surpassed my expectations. Of course the photo opportunities were excellent — particularly when big KLM planes landed — but it was just a rush to enjoy this unique activity.

Even better was feeling the rush when the planes took off, blasting hot air straight into the beach. It was like the end of the world — a crazy wind tunnel, sand flying everywhere, and the huge noise. I loved it.

There are two things you need to know, though. First, the airport on St. Maarten was severely damaged after Hurricane Irma, as was Maho Beach, so we will have to stay tuned and see if things will be repaired. But before the hurricane, a woman was killed watching planes take off. She was holding on to the fence in front of the pavement. St. Maarten’s police believe this to be the first fatality related to watching the planes, though many people have injured themselves before.

Please be careful. The safest thing to do is to stay out of the planes’ path altogether and just watch and take photos from the nearby cafes. If you do choose to stand in the path, which is still a risk, you should be on the sand, not the pavement.

High-End Coffee in Tallinn, Estonia

My daily coffee break is sacred — both while traveling and on the road. It’s a time for me to pause, reflect, go back into my introvert’s mind, and get a hit of caffeine to refuel me. I’ve discovered so many great coffeeshops on the road, but my favorite was The Living Room in Tallinn.

The Living Room is a cozy cafe just outside the Old Town, which makes it much more of a local place than a tourist place. It’s warm and cozy. They have several different varieties of coffees from around the world, complete with tasting notes. They can prepare the coffee in many different ways. I chose an Ethiopian blend that burst with berry and pepper flavors, and they prepared it in what looked like a beaker on a hot plate! SO good.

I might as well give shout-outs to my favorite new independent coffeeshops from this year: The Blue Cup in Kiev, Peddler Coffee in Philadelphia (get the lavender latte!), Panther Coffee in Miami, Tybean Coffee on Tybee Island, Double D’s in Asheville, Andante in Helsinki, Coffee Fox in Savannah (get the horchata latte!), Artichoke in Bucharest, and Utopia in Minsk.

Getting Glamorous and Hanging with Celebs in Las Vegas

On the first night my three friends and I were together in Las Vegas, we got glammed up with makeup and hair and went to see Ray Romano and David Spade perform stand-up. Why go see that show? The Romanos are close friends of one of my friend’s families (in fact, we first met Ray 15 years ago, right after graduating from high school). Thanks to those connections, we were offered free tickets to the show and got to hang out with both Ray and David in the green room afterward!

I don’t like being starstruck — I like chatting with celebrities as normal people. But after talking to David Spade for a few minutes about regular things, I had to say something — Tommy Boy is my favorite movie. “Oh, and my dad and I must have watched Tommy Boy a hundred times,” I added.

“Thanks,” he replied. “I can’t hear that too many times. And thank your dad, too.”

The Entire Meal at Cúrate in Asheville, North Carolina

I ate extremely well in Asheville — far better than one would expect in a city of its size. But the single best meal was my first one: Cúrate, a Spanish tapas bar that blew my socks off so hard, I swear they were singed afterwards.

I told the waiter to bring me whatever he thought the best dishes were, and boy, did he deliver. Perfect jamon iberico. Crostini with morcilla sausage. Cold almond and garlic soup. Roasted pork and mushrooms that were excellent on their own but positively sang when served together. For dessert, delicately fried eggplant served with rosemary ice cream, and a gin and tonic meringue.

And for booze, it was all about the white vermouth with a twist of lemon. I think I have a new favorite drink.

READ MORE: 14 Reasons Why I’m Smitten With Asheville, North Carolina

An Unexpected Boston Sports Booze Cruise in Key West

Cailin and I had a press pass that gave us admission to several different sunset cruises in Key West, so we grabbed some tickets. As we walked onto the boat, I noticed a few things: everyone was already several drinks in, and most of them seemed to be Boston sports fans celebrating the Patriots’ latest Super Bowl win — or, you know, just being typical New Englandahs.

As a Bostonian, I found this hilarious. Oh, my hometown accents. Oh, my hometown sports fandom. I also happened to be wearing my red white and blue dress that matched the Red Sox and Patriots gear! I had to get a picture with everyone, in between toasts to Tom Brady!

They were also a lot of fun and promptly took me and Cailin under their wings. After the cruise, we ended up at an Irish pub (I mean, it’s Boston people — where else would you end up?!) where we entered a Guinness chugging contest. Oh, Key West. You are one crazy place.

READ MORE: Key West, You Are My New Favorite

What were your favorite travel moments of this year?

The post My Best Travel Moments of 2017 appeared first on Adventurous Kate.

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50 Incredibly Weird Facts About the Human Body

As long as we make efforts to take care of ourselves and live healthy, there is a good chance that our bodies will serve us well for a long time. Our bodies truly are amazing. You might be surprised at what your body is capable of after reading these 50 weird facts about the human body:

The Brain

Complex and poorly understood, the brain is what makes everything work properly. The body may be kept alive, but without the brain, a person can’t truly live. Here are some interesting and weird facts about the brain.

The brain doesn’t feel pain: Even though the brain processes pain signals, the brain itself does not actually feel pain.

Your brain has huge oxygen needs: Your brain requires 20 percent of the oxygen and calories your body needs — even though your brain only makes up two percent of your total body weight.

80% of the brain is water: Instead of being relatively solid, your brain 80% water. This means that it is important that you remain properly hydrated for the sake of your mind.

Your brain comes out to play at night: You’d think that your brain is more active during the day, when the rest of your body is. But it’s not. Your brain is more active when you sleep.

Your brain operates on 10 watts of power: It’s true: The amazing computational power of your brain only requires about 10 watts of power to operate.

A higher I.Q. equals more dreams: The smarter you are, the more you dream. A high I.Q. can also fight mental illness. Some people even believe they are smarter in their dreams than when they are awake.

The brain changes shapes during puberty: Your teenage years do more than just change how you feel; the very structure of your brain changes during the teen years, and it even affects impulsive, risky behavior.

Your brain can store everything: Technically, your brain has the capacity to store everything you experience, see, read or hear. However, the real issue is recall — whether you can access that information.

Information in your brain travels at different speeds: The neurons in your brain are built differently, and information travels along them at different speeds. This is why sometimes you can recall information instantly, and sometimes it takes a little longer.

Your Senses

You might be surprised at the amazing things your various senses can accomplish.

Your smell is unique: Your body odor is unique to you — unless you have an identical twin. Even babies recognize the individual scents of their mothers.

Humans use echolocation: Humans can use sound to sense objects in their area using echolocation. It is thought that those who are blind develop this ability to heightened effectiveness.

Adrenaline gives you super strength: Yes, with the proper response in certain situations, you really can lift a car.

Women smell better than men: Women are better than men at identifying smells.

Your nose remembers 50,000 scents: It is possible for your nose to identify and remember more than 50,000 smells.

Your hearing decreases when you overeat: When you eat too much food, it actually reduces your ability to hear. So consider eating healthy — and only until you are full.

Your sense of time is in your head: How you experience time is all about your perception. Some speculate that stress can help you experience time dilation. Apparently, time manipulation isn’t just for superheroes.

Reproduction

How we as a species reproduce offers all sorts of interesting weird facts. Here are some of the weirder things you might not know.

Your teeth are growing before birth: Even though it takes months after you are born to see teeth, they start growing about six months before you are born.

Babies are stronger than oxen: On a pound for pound basis, that is. For their size, babies are quite powerful and strong.

Babies always have blue eyes when they are born: Melanin and exposure to ultraviolet light are needed to bring out the true color of babies’ eyes. Until then they all have blue eyes.

Women might be intrinsically bi: There are sex studies that indicate that women might bisexual intrinsically, no matter how they class themselves, while men are usually either gay or straight.

Most men have regular erections while asleep: Every hour to hour and a half, sleeping men have erections — though they may not be aware of it.

Sex can be a pain reliever: Even though the “headache” excuse is often used to avoid sex, the truth is that intercourse can provide pain relief. Sex can also help you reduce stress.

Chocolate is better than sex: In some studies, women claim they would rather have chocolate than sex. But does it really cause orgasm? Probably not on its own.

Body Functions

The things our bodies do are often strange and sometimes gross. Here are some weird facts about the way your body functions.

Earwax is necessary: If you want healthy ears, you need some earwax in there.

Your feet can produce a pint of sweat a day: There are 500,000 (250,000 for each) sweat glands in your feet, and that can mean a great deal of stinky sweat.

Throughout your life, the amount of saliva you have could fill two swimming pools: Since saliva is a vital part of digestion, it is little surprise that your mouth makes so much of it.

A full bladder is about the size of a soft ball: When your bladder is full, holding up to 800 cc of fluid, it is large enough to be noticeable.

You probably pass gas 14 times a day: On average, you will expel flatulence several times as part of digestion.

A sneeze can exceed 100 mph: When a sneeze leaves your body, it does so at high speeds — so you should avoid suppressing it and causing damage to your body.

Coughs leave at 60 mph: A cough is much less dangerous, leaving the body at 60 mph. That’s still highway speed, though.

Musculoskeletal System

Find out what you didn’t know about your muscles and bones.

Bones can self-destruct: It is possible for your bones to destruct without enough calcium intake.

You are taller in the morning: Throughout the day, the cartilage between your bones is compressed, making you about 1 cm shorter by day’s end.

1/4 of your bones are in your feet: There are 26 bones in each foot, meaning that the 52 bones in account for 25 percent of your body’s 206 bones.

It takes more muscles to frown than to smile: Scientists can’t agree on the exact number, but more muscles are required to frown than to smile.

When you take a step, you are using up to 200 muscles: Walking uses a great deal of muscle power — especially if you take your 10,000 steps.

Your tongue is the strongest muscle in your body: Compared to its size, the tongue is the strongest muscle. But I doubt you’ll be lifting weights with it.

Bone can be stronger than steel: Once again, this is a pound for pound comparison, since steel is denser and has a higher tensile strength.

Unnecessary Body Parts

We have a number of body parts that are, well, useless. Here are some facts about the body parts we don’t actually need.

Coccyx: This collection of fused vertebrae have no purpose these days, although scientists believe it’s what’s left of the mammal tail humans used to have. It may be useless, but when you break your coccyx, it’s still painful.

Pinkie toe: There is speculation that since we no longer have to run for our dinner, and we wear sneakers, the pinkie toe‘s evolutionary purpose is disappearing — and maybe the pinkie itself will go the way of the dodo.

Wisdom teeth: This third set of molars is largely useless, doing little beyond crowding the mouth and sometimes causing pain.

Vomeronasal organ: There are tiny (and useless) chemoreceptors lining the inside of the nose.

Most body hair: While facial hair serves some purposes, the hair found on the rest of body is practically useless and can be removed with few ill effects.

Female vas deferens: A cluster of dead end tubules near the ovaries are the remains of what could have turned into sperm ducts.

Male Uterus: Yeah, men have one too — sort of. The remains of this undeveloped female reproductive organ hangs on one side of the male prostate gland

Appendix: Yep, your appendix is basically useless. While it does produce some white blood cells, most people are fine with an appendectomy.

Random Weird Body Facts

Here are a few final weird facts about the human body.

Your head creates inner noises: It’s rare, but exploding head syndrome exists.

Memory is affected by body position: Where you are and how you are placed in your environment triggers memory.

You can’t tickle yourself: Go ahead. Try to tickle yourself.

Being right-handed can prolong your life: If you’re right-handed, you could live up to nine years longer than a lefty.

Only humans shed emotional tears: Every other animal that produces tears has a physiological reason for doing so.