#AND WE GOT ACTUAL DIALOGUE IN THIS ONE!!!!! YAAAAY!!!!!!

[creative-hanyou-girl]

I APOLOGIZE FOR THE PERSON I WILL BECOME WHEN THIS SHOW PREMIERES!!!!!!!!💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

no I'm not

Newest teaser trailer for Disney+’s ‘Percy Jackson and the Olympians’

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 256: Fucking Superb You Funky Little Hero Eggs

Previously on BnHA: Aizawa and Mic’s frankensteined best friend Shirakumo, better known to us as Kurogiri, had his memories briefly restored through the Power of Friendship, and was all “YO Y’ALLS BETTER GO CHECK OUT THOSE HOSPITALS” before his head started steaming like a tea kettle and he randomly fell asleep. Aizawa and Mic were all “!!” and Aizawa was all “(ಡ ﹏ ಡ)” and Mic was all “Aizawa are you crying” and Aizawa was like “NO!!!” and then they left the prison and Nao called HPSC Lady who called Hawks and was all “eck-chay ethay ospitals-hay” because Hawks, as you recall, is still a secret agent and all that. Anyway so Hawks was all “EUREKA!!” in his head which doesn’t really add up but hey, and then the chapter ended with Dr. Ujiko dancing in sadistic glee as he watched Tomura get all mad scienced. It was pretty freaky. I could use some wholesomeness right about now so let’s see if this chapter will deliver.

Today on BnHA: Class 1-A shows off the fresh skills they learned during their assorted internships, such as “determination”, “enhanced search techniques”, and “becoming a literal blob of acid.” The Wonder Trio is a particular highlight, and All Might is all “my little baby off to destroy people :’)” as he watches Deku shred a robot to pieces using Blackwhip. We then cut to Aizawa and Mic, who may or may not be planning some rogue vigilante style investigations of the whole Noumu thing, or maybe they’re just brooding, but either way they’re interrupted by Mirio and Tamaki who come running in to get them to stop Eri’s quirk from going haywire, which, yikes. The chapter then ends with All Might handing Deku a notebook full of DETAILED, CATALOGED INFO ABOUT THE PAST SUCCESSORS AND THE FUCKING SIXQUIRKS. We just have to wait two more weeks to find out what that’s all about. 2020’s got some fucking zip to it so far huh.

so it’s about a quarter past 7 right now and it’ll be a miracle if I can have this recap up by 10pm tonight. surprisingly the wait for this chapter didn’t really bother me, but this Sunday/Monday release schedule is really doing a number on my punctuality. but anyways we’ll figure it out eventually. if memory serves, there’s about a 90% chance that this week’s jump will also be a double issue, so that gives me another extra week to get my shit together lol

(ETA: so that wasn’t too far off actually! I think a three-hour turnaround time isn’t bad for 3000 words lol. and actually it was more like two hours of reading/blogging and one hour of editing/photo cropping. anyway so in all likelihood either Sunday or Monday night releases will become the norm, depending entirely on how busy that particular Sunday is. not quite the same as getting the chapter on Friday and having the whole weekend to ruminate over it but we will adjust!)

anyway, so I’m somehow remarkably unspoiled for this chapter despite it having been out for nearly a week and a half at this point. so that’s something! let’s see what we’ve got here

yaaaay my babies

All Might was offering free cotton candy, yes? I didn’t expect we’d cut right back to this lol, but you sure won’t see me complaining. I want to see what everyone else learned during their internships, and also what with the break and the last couple chapters being Tartarus-focused, it’s been about a month since I last saw my little hero eggs, and of course I missed them I’m only human

omg

did the original dialogue really reference Skynet. Horikoshi truly gives no fucks about copyright. like one or two episodes ago the anime made some copyrighted reference which you could clearly hear in the Japanese but which the English subs hilariously glossed right over. I’m trying to remember what it was now. damn. anyways we millennials can never resist a good pop culture reference, facts

OH MY GOD AOYAMA

THEY’RE EATING THE COTTON CANDY

TOKOYAMI EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020 THUS FAR. LET ME TELL YOU, WE REALLY NEEDED THIS

SHOUTO EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE SECOND BEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020. IT WAS VERY CLOSE

I STALLED FOR TIME SO MUCH AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WTF TO SAY ABOUT AOYAMA’S NEW ATTACK OH MY GOD. JUST. I DON’T KNOW YOU GUYS. THIS BOY IS REALLY OUT HERE SLICING ROBOTS IN HALF WITH HIS BRAND NEW LASER PENIS. THE AMOUNT OF FUCKS THAT HORIKOSHI GIVES IS IN THE NEGATIVES I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY

OH ARE YOU STILL GOING

is... what’s... ldkfj okay nothing to see here guys just the naked invisible chick getting all friendly with Aoyama’s beam boner. just manhandling his sparkle shaft. there are children reading this manga. I mean, they’re already mentally scarred from all the dead dogs and child quirk wine and whatnot, but still at what point do we put our goddamn foot down

anyway so somehow she’s redirecting his laser beam?? I guess with her light refracting quirk skills?? great job Hagakure with your help Aoyama can finally shoot lasers at stuff that’s behind him. you’ve mastered the power of making it so that he doesn’t have to turn around great job truly an internship well spent

“now I can yank light and warp it!” you go girl now you can whip that thing around like it’s a fucking fire hose I guess

YOOOOO MINA!!

THIS GIRL LITERALLY COATED HERSELF IN ACID AND DID A FUCKING BARREL ROLL AHHHHHHHHH. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT, NO OFFENSE TO CAPTAIN DISCO DONG AND COMMODORE “I CAN DO EVERYTHING A MIRROR CAN DO” BUT THERE ARE UPGRADES AND THERE ARE UPGRADES, AND LET’S FACE IT, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL HERE

AHAHAHA I LOVE ITTTTT

is it too late for Mina to actually change her name to Acidman. what is she calling herself now again?? Pinky?? come on Mina strike some fear into the hearts of your enemies

and now All Might and the others are applauding. I don’t see Shouto’s cotton candy anymore. boy fucking inhaled that shit

oh wow, they interned under Yoroi Musha? if memory serves me, and I’m honestly not going to bother to check right now, isn’t that the samurai dude who somehow beat Ryuukyuu in the billboard charts? not that I’m still salty about that, oh wait I absolutely am but anyways

OH MY

IS THAT SOME KIRIMINA CONTENT UP IN MY PANELS. hot damn that is some cute fucking shit. Mina better not get any undue hate for this. everyone please remain calm this cute interaction does not threaten your ship in any way (unless you want it to in which case have at!!) and we can all have fun if we just play nice you guys

lmao All Might

“WE’RE ALREADY ON PAGE FOUR AND THERE ARE TWENTY OF YOU, WE DON’T HAVE ALL FUCKING DAY CHILDREN”

so Satou and Ojiro learned how to punch harder and stuff. again, it’s fine, we can’t all be Acid Men. but meanwhile they interned with some lion guy named Shishido whom I INSTANTLY LOVE so that’s badass. only one character away from Shishida though, but that’s Horikoshi for you

OH MY GOD

BLAH BLAH YES ENHANCED SEARCH TECHNIQUES ZZZZZ BUT FUCKING LOOK THOUGH AT THE FLASHBACK OF HIM YEETING THEM, YESSSSSS. THE OLD WAYS HAVE NOT YET BEEN FORGOTTEN, GANG ORCA YOU ARE THE HERO WE DESERVE

meanwhile Sero, Kami, and Mineta learned how to literally kill people with their quirks flkdjsflk

(ETA: btw I really love that Mt. Lady’s internship emphasized teamwork. now there’s someone who’s come a really long way her own self. anyway I stan and she had better join the other two in the the top 10 real soon. come on BnHA society get with it.)

damn Mt. Lady what the fuck. “if you guys work together you can suffocate and electrocute villains to death with ease!” the government’s plan really is working huh; these children have become bloodthirsty, ruthless killers in a shockingly short period of time

anyways so Iida as we all recall learned how to be more footloose and fancy free, and meanwhile Kouda learned “smooth communication” from Wash, the literal washing machine man whom I also don’t still harbor a grudge against for inexplicably beating my dragon queen in the hero polls, and once again that is a lie because fuck you Wash! you’re adorable but fuck you!!

man this is taking forever why are there so many kids in this class. for anyone wondering why Horikoshi doesn’t focus on class 1-A as a whole more often and leaves them as supporting characters, this right here is why. I love these children to death but we would still be stuck in the basement arc. oh my god I just shuddered

Tokoyami mastered “improvement on all fronts” because I guess he kind of peaked at flying when it came to new moves huh. that’s fine for now

and Kiri mastered “making baddies lose the will to fight real quick” which sounds like some bullshit you’d write while desperately trying to pad your hero resume, except that it’s accompanied by this convincing panel of him chomping a steel bar in two or some shit which YIKES

can confirm, if some demonic rock man came trotting up to me and snapped off some railing from some stairs and fucking snapped it like a twig with his GIANT FOSSILIZED DINOSAUR TEETH, I’d lose my will to fight pretty quickly too

and Ochako and Tsuyu learned “determination” smdh. Horikoshi did you fucking fall asleep towards the end of this segment or what

WHO IS MAJESTIC OMG

excuse me did she just create a bunch of fucking dynamites. is that what those are. is my girl encroaching on my young son’s turf. because if she is, ENCROACH, MOMO, ENCROACH! FEEL FREE TO FUCKING IMPINGE, EVEN!! god, and I know I was bitching just a moment ago about these “lessons” becoming increasingly vague and intangible and motivational poster-y, but I read Momo and “predicting and acting efficiently”, and my thoughts immediately ran to Nighteye and Mirio’s fighting styles, and I was like “YESSSSSSSSS” because, I mean. YES, though

meanwhile Kacchan has learned...

this fucking -- I swear -- YOU LEARNED WHAT YOUR FUCKING HERO NAME IS GOING TO BE YOU TROLLING PIECE OF SHIT. oh my god. Katsuki I swear to god I will take your internet privileges. NO SRIRACHA FOR A WEEK UNLESS YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS

oh for fuck’s sakes

don’t mind him he learned boom with five b’s and three oo’s what did you all do this week. and somehow Todoroki learned how to be even more fabulous

so All Might’s looking on in pride and giving Endeavor some mental props, and waiting for Deku to go do his thing too

sdfkj he’s thinking about the day he gave Deku THE HAIR and that “[it] feels like ancient history now.” DOESN’T IT THOUGH?

OH MY FEELS

“you don’t look back at me anymore... and you don’t need to.” oh Aizawa’s dry eye has spread to me now huh. must be those January allergies. and that’s some nice bloop there kid. great jorb

someone tell All Might he’s not allowed to look on at Deku with this much fatherly love without giving me at least a week’s notice in advance

sigh. now you’ve done it you two I’m going to become a big cat blob of feels right here and it’s all on you. you did this

oh my god a whole big panel of reactions from the other kids and I’m ( ˊᵕˋ )

lol Kacchan can’t agree with anything even if it’s a compliment. and lmao, who the fuck was that who was all “TODOROKI FINALLY YOU’RE A FAST FUCKING HIMBO HUH!” like they really went and put that “finally” in there, like they were so fucking tired of Todoroki Shouto and his LANGUID FUCKING PACE all the fucking time, GOD, FINALLY SOME SPEED BOY WE WERE DYING OUT HERE

Mineta being happy for Deku also warms my heart, ngl. we’ve gone almost an entire chapter with Mineta not doing anything even remotely perverted, can it be, has Horikoshi finally chilled the fuck out. or did I just jinx it we shall see

also love how Deku is just reduced to an inkblot here and it still is him beyond any shadow of a doubt. and poor Sero, you are also being impinged on huh

lmao Mineta’s just socking Deku in the solar plexus out of comradery and Deku’s fucking vomiting on reflex and not even paying the slightest attention wtf

I love this panel there I said it

so he’s going over and thanking Ochako for “that time” and says he’s using Blackwhip a lot better now. I assume he’s referring to when he first unlocked it and went hog wild and she was all “smh” and went and hugged him to put an end to that nonsense

oh, right!!!!

I forgot about those!! looool Horikoshi’s 2020 resolution is to make everyone Spider-Man now huh. hey everyone guess what I LOVE THIS

oh my god this wholesomeness

I fucking can’t?? yo I’m seriously living for this? I don’t get why some people think Deku inhibits Ochako’s character growth tbh. or that her story is becoming all about him. if it is, then it’s in the same way that Bakugou’s is. Deku keeps inspiring her to be better, ain’t nothing wrong with that. yes she has the crush, and she’s honest with herself and in tune with her emotions enough to be aware of it and to acknowledge it, but she refuses to be distracted by it. I actually really like that, because it shows that romantic feelings can actually exist and not be the central focus of a character’s story or their development. and I think the fear is that it somehow will become the focus, but so far I haven’t seen that happening, so it seems unwarranted to me

anyway

shit’s cute

oh no Mineta’s doing something weird I fucking did jinx it I’m sorry guys. it’s a fucking fistbump dude relax

so All Might seems to be dismissing them now, and he’s saying something about how he reordered (?? rescheduled, maybe??) class so that Aizawa can watch later. that’s nice. he’ll need something to cheer him up, and if Acidman can’t do the trick I don’t know what can

and now we’re cutting back to the dorms!! dorm shenanigans yessssss

oh no shit wait

these are not playful dorm shenanigans these are depressed Miczawa shenanigans to bring me down. nnnn

but Aizawa fucking knows something is up now, shit. that’s right son your babies are in danger

KLJKLGLKSH

okay (1) HOW HOT IS AIZAWA THOUGH HOW DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

and (2) is “have a karaoke contest” code for “fuck shit up” or what. son of a bitch, having these two so personally invested in the Noumu arc now is such an unexpected and wonderful gift

MIRIO NO

(ETA: but you all know Aizawa was about to say “I’d go and fuck shit up” though.)

I LOVE YOU BOTH BUT THEY WERE HAVING A SEXY ANGSTING MOMENT, MIRIO CAN YOU NOT READ THE ROOM!! DO YOU NOT SEE THEM BEING ALL ANGSTY AND DARKLY CONTEMPLATIVE!! YOU TWO OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW WHEN LOVERS ARE BONDING OVER THEIR ANGST WHICH ONLY THE TWO OF THEM UNDERSTAND! FUCKING GODDAMN

NO!!!!!

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU LAY ONE FINGER ON HER PRECIOUS HEAD

NOOOO MY SWEET BABY GIRL

oh my fuck that sweater is the cutest fucking thing and this girl has had no shortage of cute outfits let me tell you. BUT ANYWAY SHE’S SCARED AND CRYING NOOOO. holy shit her horn is fucking huge now I don’t feel comfortable with this at all, and Nejire is Best Mom for not giving a single fuck and holding and comforting her regardless of the risk, I love her so much

OH THANK GOD

PALPABLE RELIEF. boys I’m sorry it was wrong of me to yell, you did the right thing interrupting their sexy brooding

BREAK ROOM AHHHHH THE SCOOBY SQUAD LIVES AGAINNNN

it means you constantly amaze him!! you have so much potential he doesn’t even know what the limit might possibly be! don’t act like you don’t love it. or stop being so suspicious and trying to look for the hidden meaning and just accept the praise for what it is. you did good. now ask him if he’s heard any news about Best Jeanist :/

!!

that’s right, he was researching and making faces a while back, are we finally gonna find out what all that was about??

DSLFKAJSLDKFH

HE MADE A NOTEBOOK FOR HIM AHHHHHHHH HE KNOWS WHAT HE LIKES THIS IS AMAZING

DOES HIM GIVING HIM THE INFO IN NOTEBOOK FORM MEAN IT’S UP TO DEKU WHETHER OR NOT HE WANTS TO SHARE THIS INFO WITH KACCHAN. HMMM. OBVIOUSLY HE WILL, BUT THAT’S A REAL POWER MOVE THOUGH, DAMN

“PAST SUCCESSORS / QUIRKS” EVERYONE, THIS BOOK CONTAINS THE SECRETS OF THE SIXQUIRKS. AND THE PREVIOUS OFA AVATARS. THAT’S FINE I’M JUST GONNA. ...I’LL BE FINE. FOR TWO WEEKS. FUCK

shit. well I know it was coming, that’s another reason why I didn’t feel particularly rushed to read this chapter lol. I kinda wish I’d had the foresight to save the Korean scanlation though, just to compare. ah well it’s probably still lying around somewhere

and lol and here’s the bonus page, and this one I did see floating around tumblr haha

I’m not sure how the three smartest kids in class are all present and yet not one of them had the foresight to consider that maybe, just maybe, this could be a bad idea. let’s let the kid with the combustible sweat handle the mochi I’m sure it’ll be -- [everyone immediately dies]. anyway so that’s some good friendly advice from Horikoshi there. happy new year friends!

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

animaniacs - s1e40: puppet rulers

episode summary: after seeing how small children react to the characters on their favourite tv show, brain decides that he and pinky will be children’s tv characters, too, before cryogenically freezing themselves for long enough that nostalgia tricks everyone into loving them enough to... elect them world leaders.

because people are totally thinking about old cartoons thirty years after they came off the air, right? that’s a thing normal people do.

the rundown:

we open in 1954.

nobody knows when in 1954 though, because whoever owns this calender isn’t ticking off the days. never mind! i’m sure they have more important things to do.

like welding some shit together, or whatever, like this guy is doing. “there. albert einstien’s latest experiment will be a powerful success.” if it’s albert einstien’s experiment, i don’t know why he hired this guy to do it, but i guess that’s between the big man and himself.

turns out the experiment only needs to be “powerful enough to pull five boxcars and a little caboose”, which is fine. fair enough if albert einstien wants to outsource production of his trainset. he’s probably busy being photographed for ridiculous facebook memes that say shit like “masks give you HIV”. 🙄 

meanwhile, as the music swells and the theme tune comes into the musical layers, we see pinky walking towards brain, who is preparing his coffin. it has a little alarm clock on it so he doesn’t miss bill nye the science guy.

“i’m finished, pinky.” he proclaims. he sure is. “with this cryonic capsule, we shall freeze ourselves and awaken fourty years in the future.” which i suppose is a little less morbid than, yknow, being dead. and bill nye should still be on tv, so it isn’t all bad.+

“egad, brain. what will we do in the future?”

“i don’t know, pinky, but it has to be better than what we’re doing now.”

i feel for him. i have never seen these mice in a well equipped cage. would it kill y’all to put some fucking climbers in there??? jesus.

suddenly, some children appear.

“uncle albert,” they cry. “uncle albert, it’s time.” ominous.

“but kiddies, uncle albert is doing an experiment and did you say it’s time.”

ominous! fortunately, “time” here means “time to sit down and watch tv.”

“hey kids!” says the friendly propellor worm on screen. “what time is it?” it is in fact “TIME FOR MEANIE!” as uncle albert and his fluffy brood proudly complain. yaaaay!

YAAAAAAAAAY.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

anyway turns out meany’s a bit of a dick.

pinky and brain watch on as the worm gets beaten to death. they are not particularly interested in the violence taking place, until Tiny Einstien Boy Edition (tinestien?) mentions that he wishes “treacle and meanie was president.”

to which brain makes this face.

hm. this is the face i make at my dentist when he asks to see if i’ve been maintaining my crown. sorry that my last dentist exploded my teeth or whatever. that’s kind of why i’m here.

“pinky, are you pondering what i’m pondering?” i want to take a moment out here to point out how fucking tiny brain is pinky is laying on his chest. horizontal and he is still taller than brain i just/?? he’s so fucking small. pinky could just pick him up. he couldn’t do anything. pinky could fucking yeet him like a basketball. or maybe just give him a nice hug.

anyway it turns out brain finally has a use for his cryochamber! he wants to get himself on Time For Meany and “endear himself in the hearts of children.”

anyway so once those kids grow up and become world leaders, they will remember brain fondly enough in their hearts so that... when he thaws out, they’ll, uh, elect him president. not entirely... foolproof, perhaps? but on the other hand if the nice couple from out of the box ran for joint prime minister i’d be pretty hype about it. out of the box doot doot out of the box.

pinky wants his show name to be “big ears.”

brain is more into the idea of being The Iconoclast, an Unconventional Eccentric Who Marches To A Different Drummer. privately that sounds like every single half-bearded nerd man at uni who basically accused me of having my boyfriend do all my coursework for me. does brain intend to hang around cardboard forbidden planet and tell the puppet girls that they don’t have the right to be into guardians of the galaxy? is brain going to be passive aggressive about that 2:2 i got in sculpting and rigging, thomas?????

“oh. i thought maybe you could be noodle noggin.”

we then cut to the studio, where the Fat Ceo Man wants the puppeteer to come up with new puppet characters for the next show. unfortunately, the next show is in three minutes, so he’s not very happy.

good thing he gets this suspicious package in the mail, eh?

as expected, it’s full of mice.

“oh my gosh!” cries our man, who has never seen a mouse before, apparently. “talking puppets!”

“actually we are two laboratory mice who wish to be on your show as part of an intricate plan to take over the world.”

“oh, wow, these are really good.”

so the boys make it on! they probably gave mr puppet man a religious experience, but we don’t see him again, so it’s fine.

“hold it, meany! everyone must meet our two new friends! this is big ears! take a bow, big ears!”

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

“and i am the iconoclast, an unconventional eccentric who marches to a different drummer--”

“but you may call me noodle noggin.”

you can’t see it very well in the last image, because uncle albert’s calender is in the way, but this is basically every episode. big ears says something, noodle noggin says something else that’s slightly more pretentious, meany hits him with a big stick.

everyone fucking loves it.

(fuck me. i never actually looked at this screencap close up before. why is pinky in a mousetrap?? why does it have their real names on it???? and why the FUCK do i not have a little brain toy in his own tiny wagon??? hello??? socialist police????)

unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and all projects with talking mice in it must be cancelled absurdly early. and an elmyra reboot of big ears and noodle noggin would be pointless, because brain already gets hit on the head in every episode, so eventually brain has to make the announcement.

“this program has been our last show.” he just sort of... says it, and you can tell pinky definitely wasn’t expecting it. he looks genuinely sad.

but not as sad as the children. even mousetrap pinky looks distraught.

the mice don’t care, obviously, and waste no time in jetting back to the Studio Fridge to activate their cryonic chamber, where pinky makes a very interesting point.

“but brain, why are we freezing ourselves at the height of our popularity?

“to stay fresh in their memory, pinky. we must, to paraphrase milton berle, ‘leave them wanting more’. i’ll see you in the future, pinky.”

there are no good frames for that portion of dialogue but whatever! let’s see how well that goes for them.

conclusion:

so the first thing the boys do upon waking up from ice and dust is to broadcast themselves on tv. “remember me?” asks brain. “it’s your old pal, the iconoclast.”

“and his old pal! zort! big ears!”

it’s very cute.

unfortunately these people are less impressed. they just sort of point, in a scary way. brain invites them all down to the tv station to “shower us in praise and material gifts,” and waits for the fans’ inevitable arrival.

“at last, we can write our own ticket, pinky. no longer in glorious suffering.” alright, hubert von vestra! calm down.

which is when the fans show up. hopefully the fact that they are all morbidly obese is like... coincidental, or to show off the fact that they’re all wearing kid tshirts, right? surely pinky and the brain wouldn’t tell me, a disabled person, that fat people are Bad And Losers? surely not.

“at last, my public has come to shower me with gifts.”

“guess again, noodle noggin!”

“huh.”

“you abandoned us!” cries the crowd. “you went away! you ruined our lives!” as brain tries to grapple with the fact that they are not, in fact, worshipping his image (and uploading pictures of him in the garden of mindy dress to e621) they present him with inordinately expensive therapy bills, because america be that way.

“PAY EM.” yells a gruff man with terrible facial hair. pinky and brain decide they would rather not.

honestly, i’m going to have to give this one to brain. sorry, brain. pinky did make the point earlier, and maybe if brain had thought about it, they might have been able to edit the plan a little and have things work out differently?

or maybe he was just tired of getting hit on the head all the time. ask pinky about that one, b.

brain: 3 pinky: 3 outside influence: 5

“quickly, pinky, we have work to do.”

“you mean taking over the world?”

“no. like finding a good hiding place.”

[prism-rush]

King of Prism Road to SSS 4: Joji the Joker

This is Joji’s character story from Road to SSS 4. It runs parallel to the Road to SSS 4 event story so you may want to read that first:

Road to SSS 4 Main Story Translation

Translator’s notes: At the time when this first came out it kinda blew me away because it was the most dialogue The Shuffle has ever had. (Actually that might still be true haha but anyway.) So little was known about The Shuffle at the time that even the game couldn’t keep them straight. Mitsuba is the one who “can only hit straight” because his hobby is shooting, and it’s a reference to his voice actor as well. But in the original version it was Mondo and I have the proof here. At some point between when I first read this story initially and a year later when I’m translating it now, they quietly fixed it. Hah. 

Joji: Mmmmm ❤ (Shall I secrete some pheromones~ ❤ )

 Passersby: EEEE! / IT’S JOJI! / JOJI-KUN!!

Joji: Thank you for your support everyone!

But you shouldn’t go causing such a commotion.... Instead of waiting around for me outside in the cold, I hope you can see me on stage next time☆

Fans: Okaaaay! 

Joji: Yay, thank you! 

(Backstage)

Joji: .....AHH! I’M BEAT! (It took so much effort just to get into the studio with everyone crowding around me.) 

Being as sexy as me should be a crime. But it’s not. Oh well.☆ 

Welp, let’s have a look-see at the script… Oh? This girl is a really popular model! Hmm hmm! She would be just perfect for my partner!☆ 

(It’s not like I’m actually serious about being in the duo tournament anyway... I’m just doing it because the director told me to. But I will take the opportunity to search for a partner.) 

Hmm hmm. As soon as I turn on my usual charm, that cutie model will be wrapped around my finger!☆

Tsurugi: Um… the duo partner for the tournament….

Mitsuba: Is supposed to be a male idol, right…?

Kokoro: Yeah, that’s right.

Mondo: …But Joji is only inviting girls…?

Ace: …He’s clearly just using it as an excuse to talk to girls. Even though the director is already mad at him, he never knows when to quit. 

Joji: Hey hey, honey pie! Let’s do our best today☆

Model: Oh.... Joji.... san...? Huh, what’s going on. All of a sudden my heart is beating really fast.... !?

Joji: Heheh don’t be shy. You know you want a piece☆

(Later)

Joji: And... done! Yep yep! I got the girl’s number today too☆ 

And... some dude’s number as well. I have to pretend I’m actually searching for a partner for the duo tournament, after all. GAahhhhhah but is the director REALLY going to make me do street style? And as a duo! There’s nobody good enough to partner with me in the first place! 

Mondo: Good work today, Joji!

Tsurugi: You really wore yourself out! 

Mitsuba: But that’s why you’re our leader!

Kokoro: You’re the best there is! 

Joji: Yes, yes, of course. I’m always at the top of my game. 

Tsurugi: And by the way, Joji...

Mitsuba: About the duo tournament! You were talking about how...

Kokoro: ...you haven’t decided on...

Mondo: .....your partner yet, have you!?

Joji: Huh? Not at all! And I’m not planning to! If I absolutely have to pair with someone, I’m fine with pairing with any one of you. 

Tsurugi: R-REALLY!?

Mitsuba: Well in that case..! Hey, everyone!

Kokori: We should decide this fair and square! 

Mondo: Agreed. We have to decide this fairly. 

Joji: Huuh? What are you guys going on about? ...Oh, that girl in that magazine over there is so cute!

Tsurugi: So, Joji! How about a bowling tournament!

Joji: Sure sure, whatever you say. 

Mondo: Ace can’t be on stage with you at the same time, so it will be between the four of us....

Kokoro: And whoever wins gets to be your partner! 

Mitsuba: We’ll all give our all! 

(Later) 

Kokoro: And so, I hereby declare the first ever Joji’s Partner Contest Bowling Tournament officially underway! 

The Shuffle: YAAAY! 

Joji: Wait. You were actually serious about the bowling thing!? Well, whatever I guess. All I gotta do is just name whoever wins as my partner, right? So, good luck then. 

The Shuffle: OKAY!!

Joji: ....But what should I do in the meantime? 

Tsurugi: Well, why don’t you bowl with us too?

Joji: Bowling, huh... Well, I guess it’s not a bad idea to enjoy something ordinary once in a while ♪ 

But, you guys! If you have me participate I’ll just end up overshadowing you all, won’t I? So today I think I’ll keep myself behind the scenes. Just for you guys! 

Mondo: Yeah, you’re right. 

Mintsuba: That’s our leader! Always thinking of us! 

Joji: Heheh, don’t make me blush♪ (Just kidding. I can’t be bothered to actually break a sweat on my day off. Aaah if only I wasn’t stuck here I could be on a date with a cute girl right nowwww. Well, whatever. I suppose as leader, looking after my pathetic underlings is just part of the job, right?) So, I’ll be the host and the referee then! Everyone, do it up!

The Shuffle: All right! Here we go! 

Joji: Alright then umm.... first up is Kokoro! 

Kokoro: Alright, leave it to me! Huah! 

*rolling*

*clunk*

*rolling*

Joji: Oohhh my. After all that force it just ended up in the gutter! 

Kokoro: What!?

Joji: No worries. That’s just how the cookie crumbles☆ Alright, who’s next!? Do your best! Oh, Mitsuba, how about you?

Mitsuba: Alright, leave it to me. Bowling is my specialty... here goes!

Joji: Ohh! The ball is rolling pretty straight! A split. It would take some serious skill to turn this into a spare….

Mitsuba: ...Hmph!

Joji: Too bad! It’s going straight down the middle again!

Tsurugi: By the way Mitsuba, you’re also good at shooting aren’t you?

Kokoro: And darts!

Mondo: But those are all sports where you just hit straight down the center….

*ball keeps rolling*

Mondo: Aaah! My second throw is a zero…

Joji: I see. Even with bowling you can only aim straight. Alright, alright, let’s keep going! Chop chop! Next up Mondo--

Mondo: ....Hiyah! 

*thump*

*steady rolling sound*

Joji: Hmmm. You knocked over... 6 pins? Not bad. Alright, last up is Tsurugi. 

Tsurugi: Here I come! Huaaaaahhh!!

*crash*

Joji: ....!! A strike!

Tsurugi: Eheh. I did it!

Joji: (No way. Not even I’ve ever managed a strike... Nah nah, this was just dumb luck. Yeah, dumb luck, that’s all.☆) You know, I’m getting pretty tired of commentating for you guys. 

...Oh, cute girl spotted.☆ Target... locked! And.... secrete! 

Girl: !! EEE! 

Joji: Ahhh... this is the life. I needed a recharge after being stuck with those guys all day.

(Finally, the game reached its conclusion.)

Joji: Alriiiight, I’ll skip the formalities and get straight to the point. Yadda yadda yadda, you all did your best, but now... 

It’s time to announce the results!

The Shuffle: YAAAAY!

Joji: In 1st place… Kokoro!

Kokoro: YeeeEAAAAAAAHHH! I DID IT!!!! I’m going to go practice street style right away!!

Joji: In 2nd place… Mondo!

Mondo: Dammit… I was so close…

Joji: And in 3rd and 4th place… wellnobodyreallycaresbut… Mitsuba and Tsurugi! 

Mitsuba: ...Darn it!

Tsurugi: Bowling is actually really hard.

Ace: Oh ho...

Joji: So, therefore, the best partner for me is… 

The 2nd place winner, Mondo!

Kokoro and Mondo: WHAAT?!

Kokoro: But but but but why?! I was number one!

Joji: But… we never exactly decided that 1st place would make you my partner… After all, if I made the number one player into my partner, it could take some of the spotlight off of me! Therefore, my partner is number two!

Kokoro: That’s not fair...

Mondo: Thank you so much!! I’ll work really hard!

Joji: Yeah yeah, do your best. (Like it matters. I won’t be in the duo tournament anyway. I’ll just conveniently delay telling the director that I have a partner.)

(A few days later, at Schwarz Rose...)

Joji: D... director? You called for me? But what is he doing here...

Jin: Good evening. Alexander Yamato. Joji Takadanobaba. The two of you--

(End. Continued in the Road to SSS 4 main story.)

[thecostumeplot]

Episode 13: His Girl Friday & Roman Holiday

Please consult these Instagram slideshows for accompanying images: His Girl Friday Roman Holiday

Both:  

Welcome to The Costume Plot.

Jojo:  

I'm Jojo Siu.

Sarah:  

and I'm Sarah Timm. We're professional designers with a passion for costume design and the performing arts. Our podcast does contain spoilers.

Jojo:  

We hope you'll join us every other week as we delve into the wonderful world of costume design in The Costume Plot. [music]

All right.

Sarah:  

[sings] Welcome back, welcome back.

Jojo:  

Welcome to The Costume Plot. [both laugh]

Sarah:  

It's us again!

Jojo:  

Yaaaay! what are we on now? Month four, five?

Sarah:  

Good question. Yeah?

Jojo:  

I've lost track. It means we're that far in.

Sarah:  

and we're still enjoying it...

Jojo:  

That's a good sign.

Sarah:  

...which is good.

Jojo:  

Yes. Some little bits of homework, but at least we're enjoying the process.

Sarah:  

Hey, it's-- every time I'm like, "Oh, no, I have to sit down and watch that movie," I end up really enjoying myself. And I do my research. And I like the research part. So I'm still having fun. Even sometimes I forget to make time to do it. [both laugh]

Jojo:  

It's true. All right. So today, our theme is going to be black and white movies.

Sarah:  

Yeah.

Jojo:  

We haven't really covered this yet. So this is kind of a new platform to talk about costumes. And one of the things that we are going to talk a lot about, or I assume we're going to talk a lot about, Sarah, is that, you know, how do we do costumes? And how do we differentiate characters when you're limited to a color palette of only monochrome.

Sarah:  

Yep.

Jojo:  

Because you know, now we're not looking at 1000s of saturate colors and ways to parallel you know, characters and things like that. So there's a very fine art of knowing how to balance textures and patterns and things like that in a black and white film. So, really excited about that. I'm going to be going first today, so I'm super excited.

Sarah:  

Yay!

Jojo:  

I'm going to be covering his girl Friday, which features Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell. I'll tell you a couple fun facts about that in a second, but it was released in 1940. So there's a lot of 1940s silhouettes that you'll see in our costumes for this one. It was directed by Howard Hawks, who actually was a humongous conglomerate in the film industry. He did Scarface, Bringing Up Baby...

Sarah:  

Wow.

Jojo:  

... Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Only Angels Have Wings. So he's actually worked with Cary Grant quite a few times. I think Russell-- or sorry, Rosalind Russell was probably not one of his regulars. But she got really famous through this movie. So we'll talk a little bit more about that. The costume designer was Robert Kalloch. I don't know if that's how you say his name, K-A-L-L-O-C-H? Someone can correct me out there. He was actually...

Sarah:  

"Kall-oak"?

Jojo:  

Kalloch...? [both struggle and repeat the name, laughing] Not good at that kind of pronunciation. But he ended up becoming the chief designer for Columbia Pictures. And actually, he was really, really the heyday designer of the 1932 to 1940 period, specifically for screwball comedies, which-- this is considered one. And he also did quite a few projects with Howard Hawks. So "It Happened One Night", he did "The Awful Truth", "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington", and he also did "Only Angels Have Wings" with Howard. So again, a lot of these are much older movies, so if you haven't seen anything prior to like, you know, 2000, then maybe these are some new titles for you. But just know that, you know, these two were really kind of big in their heyday of being in the film industry. And Robert actually went on to be one of the mentors for Adrian, who is well-- very well known for all of his costume designs, pretty much from the 50s on, essentially.

Sarah:  

Mmhmm.

Jojo:  

So I'm going to talk a little bit about the actors themselves, because again, the Age of Hollywood, especially in the 40s, it very much became about who you knew, the celebrities that you recognized. At least from the kind of common people became... I mean, celebrities are still very important for us today. But there's a lot more celebrities all over. So we see musicians as celebrities, we see, you know, advertisers and promoters as celebrities as well. Whereas this time, it was mostly mostly movie, Hollywood filmmakers, or-- sorry, Hollywood actors and stars that became really in the public eye. So this was actually a piece that focuses a lot on the groundbreaking look at women in a man's world and one of the things that made Rosalind so popular for this movie. Interestingly enough, she was actually-- she jokes that she was the 15th choice because Howard went through basically every other person. Irene Dunne, he went through, I think he went through a Berlin Irving, or I don't know, I'm...

Sarah:  

Irving Berlin?

Jojo:  

I'm making up names now.

Sarah:  

Irving Berlin?

Jojo:  

No, no, I'm thinking of the wrong name.

Sarah:  

Oh.

Jojo:  

...because that's not a female.

Sarah:  

That's not a lady, no.

Jojo:  

[laughs] But he basically went through the entire list of all the other Hollywood female stars at this time. And basically, I think only one of them was actually unavailable. But I'm pretty sure everyone else on his list basically said no to the project. So interestingly enough, when he ended up with Rosalind Russell, he, you know, multiple times told her and she knew that she was not the first choice. So she found out in the public, because I think it ended up in the news that he had gone through all these other people before asking her, so. What a weird way to walk into a project, knowing that you're not first choice, but she totally ran with this. She ended up actually-- because the dialogue is so snappy in this in this particular film, because it's about reporters, she actually ended up hiring... I can't remember who it said she hired. She hired someone to basically help kind of clean up the dialogue and help them make it faster and make it really-- paced really well. So because of that, Cary Grant actually ended up becoming really good friends with her while they were filming together and ended up asking for his own personal training with the same coach, basically.

Sarah:  

cool. It's almost like a script supervisor, but like, your own personal one.

Jojo:  

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So again, she really brought a lot to this project. And like, you know, didn't get discouraged by the fact that she wasn't first choice, she just totally jumped right in, and just really gave it 110%, which I really love. And that's very much like her character in the movie as well. So again, she is, you know, the most powerful female in this in this giant room of mostly male actors. And she really carries her own very well. And even in the, you know-- there's small scenes where you could argue that there's some sexism going on, and all of that. But she really holds her own gravitas very well throughout this movie. And I think that they did a really good job of not just making her this kind of meek female that's surrounded by all these other male reporters. She certainly knows how to stand on her own, she's very independent. And they actually do contrast her with another character who is a little bit more seen as weak and naive and more feminine, kind of drawn to her own emotions and overwhelmed by her own emotions. So seeing that in comparison to how she portrays Hildy, who is our main character, you really see a lot of that contrast. And they did that really well. And again, this is in the 1940s, when most women weren't really in what they call a professional environment. You know, they're the professions that were kind of given to women at this time, were either secretaries, teachers, in education, or in the nursing departments. And there's nothing bad about any of these departments. But it was a very limited place for the woman in the work field. And so having her in this role as a reporter really made her stand out against everyone else. So the fact that she made such a huge impression on on women everywhere after this movie, I think it just goes to show how much power she had, even though she wasn't first choice. And how much she made a positive out of this kind of negative start, for lack of a better term.

Sarah:  

Well, I mean, on "Drag Race" last week, Anne Hathaway was on and she said she was the eighth choice for "The Devil Wears Prada". So I think you just kind of have to look at it as like, "well, it was meant to be," you know, "none of those other people were right for it, but I am. So I need to take advantage of the fact that I'm here and they're not."

Jojo:  

Right, right. Instead of looking at all the negative...

Sarah:  

yeah.

Jojo:  

... that comes with that. Yeah. Okay, so let me go ahead and share my screen. Alright, so I am gonna pretty much go in order with this movie, there aren't going to be as many costume looks for this particular episode. But a lot of it was because most of this happens, within a span of less than 24 hours. Right? So...

Sarah:  

both of our movies do, which is so funny that we picked-- we both picked some, that are like that.

Jojo:  

[laughs] Yeah, it's crazy though, 'cause in the-- you know, in this time, you're not really looking at years and years of time. A lot of times you are focusing in on a moment in time, or a span of 24 hours, or even a couple hours. So it's kind of crazy when you're watching the movie because you're not thinking about how little time has passed because it just seems like so much is happening.

Sarah:  

Yeah.

Jojo:  

And then you're like, "Wait, it's only been 24 hours." [both laugh] So yes, I do love that. So just to give you a little bit of background on the story, and again, there are spoilers. But Rosalind and Cary Grant play Hildy, who's the wife and-- or, ex wife. And Cary Grant plays Walter, and Walter basically runs his own newspaper company. He's really like-- he's always been a reporter that's always after the story. And the opening credits actually start with this whole quote about how, you know, when you're a reporter, it's all about the story. Nothing else matters, to the point where it goes to extremes, like murder, and all these other things in order to get the story. And it's very much kind of the presence of what this story is about. So Walter owns this company. Hildy used to work for the company. But they've since gotten divorced. It's been probably a couple months now since they've gotten divorced. And she's the one who actually asked for the divorce. And her argument in the beginning, or her justification was that Cary basically-- or, I should say Walter. I keep saying Cary, because that's the actor.

Sarah:  

'Cause it's Cary Grant, yeah.

Jojo:  

Yeah, everyone knows who Cary Grant is. [laughs] But she ends up asking him for a divorce because she believes that he's basically too tied to his work. So he hasn't paid enough attention to her as a woman, he hasn't taken the time to appreciate her and really show her what a husband doting on his wife should look like. And again, you don't really see that change for Cary Grant the entire movie, because I mean, even at the end, I don't think that he necessarily suddenly turns into this doting husband. But you know that because he's not the one who asked for the divorce, he still is very much in love with her. And so the movie is very much about his kind of sneaking around and trying to manipulate the situation so that he can try and win her back. And of course, all of that comes at the cost of a story that they end up breaking onto.

Sarah:  

Mmhmm.

Jojo:  

So the first scene, when she comes into the office, is actually when she's trying to tell Walter that she is about to get engaged to another man. So she has been dating someone else since they've gotten divorced. She's fallen in love with this man and you meet him. But you don't really know that he's the engagee until she goes into the office and talks about this engagement ring. And she's covered her hands with gloves, so you don't even see that she's actually coming in for this purpose. So the movie really just starts you right in the middle of it. But the first thing that you see her in is this beautiful chevron two-piece suit with matching hat.

Sarah:  

Incredible.

Jojo:  

I love that the designer has really created such a huge contrast, not just with her and the stripes on her, and like-- the black versus the kind of lighter color. Interestingly enough, they said that the actual garment is supposed to be black and pink, which... it's so funny that this is how it's reading to us, because we always see black and white, or gray. But to know that this is a pink suit gives us a whole different, you know, understanding of this garment. But the opening scene, she walks through the first kind of row of all these other reporters and she's the only thing that stands out. And part of the reason they're able to do that so successfully is because Robert Kalloch, I'm gonna say that name wrong every time, Robert Kalloch ends up keeping everyone else around her in these pretty solid colors, or they're really subtle patterns, if there are any. And because she's the only thing that's got any kind of a vertical--or even pattern--on her body, she's the only thing that you see in the room against everyone else that's in these kind of solid versions, or hues and tones, of gray. Let's see, I think-- I do love also that he has put a lot of the women in these scenes in very powerful colors, because there's only... I think there's maybe one or two other women that she passes in the office. And you can tell one of the other women, who may also be a reporter? You never really see her again after this first scene. But she's also in this really dark black.

Sarah:  

Oh.

Jojo:  

So that's not her, that's actually the assistant, but you can tell even the assistant is in this more subdued gray behind her really vibrant stripe. Uhhh... nope, I guess I didn't grab it. Well, anyways, she's in essentially a-- what looks like a black two-piece skirt suit. So again, she's one of the ones that kind of stands out against everybody else. But it's really-- in that scene, it's just Hildy and this other woman in this black two-piece suit. So really making our women very strong in this world of kind of... for lack of a better term, hazy looking colors for all the other men. So that way, they really stand out a lot more. So this was something that I wrote just for my own interpretation of this suit. Obviously, I think it's a beautiful stripe. During this time. They also mentioned that because they had to ration everything, since it was entering into World War Two. Robert ended up, you know, kind of changing the direction of the stripes in order to save every piece or scrap of fabric.

Sarah:  

Oh!

Jojo:  

So you see that not just in the lapels on this, but you also see that in her second suit that she changes into later, to travel. But one of the things I really loved is that, for me, I feel like the stripes in the vertical lines in both of her outfits--so not just in this one, but in the second look that we'll look at--it shows a very tight laced woman, you know, she obviously has to be extremely strong and like hold her own, in a world full of men who are constantly trying to talk over her. And that's a big part of this movie, too, is that every character is constantly talking on top of everyone else, but you really focus in on her verbal language and communication with her ex husband. And you focus on that not just because of their dialogue, but also because I think we see, and focus, on her in the image because of her stripe, too.

Sarah:  

Yeah.

Jojo:  

So even though she does a lot of sarcastic joking with Walter, and I feel like she's constantly-- she kind of keeps up with his sarcasm really well. But I think, you know... that femininity comes from the fact that she wants to be loved as a wife, and she wants to be treated as a woman. But I think with the stripes, it definitely gives her that more masculine kind of authority or power that she has in the room. And it certainly makes us, the viewers, focus in on her her power a little bit more.

Sarah:  

Mmhmm. Totally.

Jojo:  

Moving on. So, Walter's first suit. So in contrast to her dark and kind of bold lines, you see Walter in this really kind of pale and subdued... it almost looks like linen? Or... I'm not sure exactly what the material is. But he-- in this particular scene, he's also the only person in this kind of double breasted suit.

Sarah:  

Mmhmm.

Jojo:  

So that also is another way to sort of stand them out, especially with the limited color, by changing up the silhouette of the jacket and looking at the way the lapels cross. He also-- you do see other reporters and double breasted jackets later, but he's the only one that kind of remains in this lighter hue. So I love that they've definitely kept that to his look the entire time. Again, this is all within 24 hours. So this is literally the outfit he stays in the entire day. [both laugh] So I was like, "great, nice and easy, one and done." I do also love that if you look closer, which... you can't see it as much here. He actually does have a pretty subtle, almost like windowpane, plaid.

Sarah:  

Mmhmm.

Jojo:  

And again, you don't notice that until you're looking up close and personal, and it's after you're staring at the jacket for, you know, a couple minutes before you notice it. So you don't see it when she first comes in. But that initial contrast of the really light suit versus her really dark stripe is just a really nice way of looking at their characters too. Because I think the light heartedness of his character is very much reflected in how vibrant--or, I say "vibrant," but, you know--how light his suit jacket is.

Sarah:  

[laughs] Yeah.

Jojo:  

Because even when we see him later with Bruce, who's the engagee, there's this really nice kind of play of different tones of gray. So you see the dark is with Hildy, and the almost black is with Hildy. And then you see the kind of medium tone with Bruce, and then Cary Grant is in the the lightest tone of gray.

Sarah:  

Mmhmm.

Jojo:  

When we first meet Bruce--again, just looking at the kind of difference in silhouette--you can immediately tell that Cary Grant is our very sharp sleek business man. And he's always in these very straight vertical lines. His suit is very cut. And it's tailored very nicely, and it's much more vertical and slim fitting. Whereas with Bruce, the first time we see him he's in a trench coat. It's almost a little baggy on him, we don't really see the shape underneath. And it also gives him a much more casual, and a little bit of a naive, vibe. And I think he definitely has that throughout the movie. We certainly see him as like-- it almost looks like his mother has kind of dressed him? Like, he's got a nice suit, but it's not quite the same fit. He doesn't take care of himself in the same way that Cary Grant does.

Sarah:  

Right.

Jojo:  

And even the way that Hildy does. And I think both of them are very Metropolitan in comparison. So yet another comparison of the two of them... this is not the best example of the light versus dark because you don't really see his gray suit yet. But again, just that idea of the the trench coat being kind of oversized on him versus Cary Grant's more tailored jacket.

Sarah:  

Oh, wow.

Jojo:  

So then, halfway through the day, basically, Hildy ends up telling Walter that she's heading down to Albany with Bruce later that day, like within a few hours' time. And they're basically going down to Albany to get engaged--or, sorry--to get married, and they're bringing his mother with him. So she's trying to plan this train ride to go down to Albany and get married, and get hitched. And of course Walter, you know immediately that everything is kind of working in his brain to try and prevent this from happening. He's trying to get the train schedule changed. Like, he literally is calling people to be like, "Can we stop the train from happening?" Which... it's kind of crazy that he's got that kind of power. But literally doing everything in his power to try and stop her from getting married to this other guy. So of course, the biggest part of this is that there's this big scoop that's happening that all the reporters are trying to get on top of. So the side story, and all of this, is that there's this man, Earl Williams, who has been... I can't remember the exact situation because it was very late at night last night. [laughs] But he basically ends up shooting someone that was unintentional. And of course, his argument is that he didn't do it on purpose. I believe it was a police officer that he ended up shooting, but he didn't do it on purpose. He thinks he's in jail innocently, and all of this other stuff. So all of the reporters are trying to find out what actually happened, why he's claiming himself innocent. He happened to also be talking to a woman, I think they had one conversation. But then the news reporters--and you'll see this a couple times in this movie--you know, the news reporters are all about writing his story. So whether it's true or not, you'll see a lot of them actually make up facts, or they'll over exaggerate what's actually happening. So there's a lot of, you know, false news out there. Which ironically, today that's very applicable. [both laugh]

Sarah:  

Buzz word!

Jojo:  

...and very, you know, kind of what's happening. So again, this idea that all of them are trying to get the real news out there versus the fake news. And so this huge story kind of falls into their lap. And so, Cary Grant's character knows this. And so he kind of brings it up on a whim, hoping that it'll basically get Hildy convinced to kind of come back and work for him instead of going and getting married. And he knows her well enough to know that that's probably what she'll end up doing. So she keeps getting stalled and stopped. And everything keeps going wrong. Like she-- you know, every time she tries to meet up with Bruce, or every time she tries to get him on the train, something else happens. So there's all these... it's like a series of different things that Cary has basically manipulated to get Bruce in trouble and prevent them from going down to Albany. So this is her in the news reporter room, and you see her with all the other news reporters here. And even though their colors are very similar, just the fact-- again, that she's got the most prominent stripe going on with her two-piece skirt suit. And again, this is another place where they talked about Robert really recycling the direction of the fabric so that he could still reuse essentially every leftover scrap of what they had to make this suit. And it's just so tailored, very well to her body.

Sarah:  

Mmhmm!

Jojo:  

It fits her beautifully. And again, it just gives her a lot of power in this scene, especially with all the other reporters in the room. I think the only one that really has any kind of texture is this more... dumpy looking character, for lack of a better term. [laughs] And he's kind of like... they're all a little bit goofy. And I think they're all a little bit cutthroat, but not necessarily in a bad way. They're just all trying to scoop the story.

Sarah:  

Yeah.

Jojo:  

And it's funny, because you'll see all of them appear in and out of the room trying to get the newest scoop. And so they'll all just update stories, and a lot of them are made up, you'll hear them saying things that are totally in contrast with what's actually happened. And they'll just say some random statement to put in the, you know, the front line of their newspaper. So yeah, it's an interesting look at just how false news can travel so easily, and how it can easily be misinterpreted or just mis-told. And of course, Hildy is the one that's trying to honor the original story. So she actually befriends Earl Williams, she goes and talks to him. And again, very much pointing to the fact that as an independent woman in a man's world, she is really the go-getter, she takes a lot of initiative, she knows how to get the right scoop, she knows how to go to the right people to get the story that she needs.

Sarah:  

Mmhmm.

Jojo:  

Okay, so... one of the things-- we do see her in that pinstripe suit for a good chunk of this scene when she's with the other reporters. But when she first appears, we actually see her in this beautiful fur coat. And again, this is just... again, continuing to show all the different ways in which we have to find other venues, or means, of being able to differentiate characters. And he certainly-- Robert has certainly done that really well, with even just making her the center of focus, because she's totally got a very different texture than everyone else around her. And it's also a much lighter color. So she's the first thing we see in the room. And I think they mentioned this with the movie as well, but she's always kind of the center of attention here. So it's never-- you never lose her on screen. Let's just say that.

Sarah:  

Right.

Jojo:  

Okay, so this is another example of the contrast between Cary and Bruce. And you can see here Bruce's darker suit, which if you look really carefully, he does actually have a really subtle pinstripe in there. But when you first look at him, and you see the three of them eating lunch together, you can see the very clear contrast of color. So Cary is actually-- he normally would have his blazer on. But in this particular scene, this is when they're talking about Hildy. And it's interesting, because Bruce is talking very romantically about Hildy in this scene, but Cary Grant is trying to basically throw him off the scent by saying like, "Oh, yeah, Hildy, she does all these horrible things. You don't want her to, you know, she's gonna just fight you back." And like, basically trying to put a bad light on her. So that Bruce will always see that negative. And, of course, it's his sneaky way of trying to get Bruce away from her and get her back for himself, of course. But we see this scene where he's got his jacket off, and... how do we make someone in this period look sexy? And in this case, it's almost like different levels of undressed versus dressed.

Sarah:  

Mmhmm.

Jojo:  

And so whereas... the conservative look of Bruce in this fully suited, you know, blazer and vest and pants. And then we see Cary Grant here, who's still doing up his tie, and buttoning up his shirt, and kind of leaving a little bit more of the exposed neck. And then seeing a little bit of his body form through his shirt, without the jacket on. And of course, he eventually puts the jacket on, and even then it's much more clean cut. But just seeing that kind of level of like, "Okay, I have my kind of casual... my jacket's off," and then putting it back on to kind of get himself back together.

Sarah:  

Yeah.

Jojo:  

So then I just wanted to show you a quick contrast of looking at textures on the screen. Because again, it's not just about... especially in a black and white movie, it's not just about what your costume looks like on the actor. You also have to look at, how are they up against the background and up against the other characters? So this was a good example of just-- she's obviously got this dark color, but it's enough of a block in the image that you still see her as the main prominent person in the photo. Or sorry, in the screenshot. And yet, you still have all these really dynamic lines in the background. And then this is Earl Williams, who she's questioning. And just trying to kind of befriend, so that they can get along, and that she can hopefully coax the real story out of him. So this was one of the other females that I wanted to focus on. And again, she doesn't appear for very long, and then--spoiler--she actually commits suicide eventually. Because she is... so this is Molly. Molly Malloy, I think is her name, let me check my notes. Yes, Molly Malloy. So she's kind of the representative of the overemotional female. She's very, very easily stressed out, easily anxious. She talks to Earl Williams once because, you know, he just he's very depressed. And he needs someone to listen. And so after that happens, of course, all the news reporters run this whole story about how they're lovers and how she is keeping a secret for him. And she's gonna bust him out of jail, and all this other stuff. And of course, she ends up being the butt of all of these lies. And so she gets understandably very stressed from all of this "fake news." And so she comes in and tries to just defend herself and explain herself. But I love that they've sort of contrasted her with with Hildy, because Hildy is such a strong image and presence in the scene. And then you see her come in with these very... I mean, again, nothing wrong with being feminine, but there's a much more softness to her look. In terms of just even the curls that she's got in her hair, the flowers that she's got. Especially the frilled kind of collar that she has, and then just little puff sleeves that she's got, and the fact that this is almost slightly transparent, even.

Sarah:  

Yeah.

Jojo:  

It tells a lot about how waif-like she is as a character. And she is very... blown back and forth by the breeze, and by all the reporters in this very man's world, so it was a good way to sort of showcase what other women at this time were experiencing in comparison to this very strong character of Hildy.

Sarah:  

Well, and it's-- it's always interesting. I mean... this is a very "old movie, not very 21st century way" of portraying women on screen, or in any media...

Jojo:  

Right.

Sarah:  

...it's that... making one woman strong by making the other one look weak.

Jojo:  

Right.

Sarah:  

So that the strong one looks stronger by comparison. And she's very "not like the other girls," you know, she can hang with the men. So that's kind of tough to see. But it's very much... it's very much changing. So that's good.

Jojo:  

Yeah, yeah. And it shows you how far we've come, too, as women.

Sarah:  

Yeah.

Jojo:  

So... but yeah, I just thought that was interesting, that they played such a... because there are other females in this movie, like I said, but you only see them for two seconds. And the one other really strong woman in black was at the very beginning, and then we never see her again. So the fact that they had this person, you know, as a contrast was was interesting. It certainly made you emphasize and respect Hildy a lot in that scene. So this was just another example of the different ways in which we can contrast different fabrics. I wanted to show just, you know, all the multiple ways we can even put black onto a screen. Like, this is not just a straight black, because obviously they would read as the same color. But the fact that you see a difference between this black and the gray stripe versus this black and a black pinstripe.

Sarah:  

Yeah.

Jojo:  

And then even the difference in the two suits between the two gentlemen. we have this character Pettibone, who... he's totally just kind of the floppy character. And he's kind of our comic relief in this particular scene.

He's the clown.

Yeah, he's definitely our clown character. And he comes in... trying to remember what I wrote in my notes. Let's see, I wrote that he basically-- the three-piece suit gives him this sort of stuffy feeling, but then it's almost like it's suffocating and burdening him, because he comes in sort of all over the place and a little bit chaotic. And then even just the way that his hair is kind of askew. And then he's got the bowler hat, which is also-- it's not a comical hat. But I think in this scene, because everyone else is in these really sharp fedoras, just seeing him in the bowler gives him a very specific character. So I think the costume designer did that really well. But even being able to see the difference in the suit jackets, not just size wise, but pattern wise, and just being able to fine tune those little details in black and white. I think that was my last one!

Sarah:  

Okay!

Jojo:  

I might have put them out of order a little bit. But yes, so again, not a lot of different costumes. But you can see how subtle the costume designer was, with really making sure the emphasis was on the people he needed it to be on.

Sarah:  

Mmhmm.

Jojo:  

And even the characters that were more similar in silhouette or color, they didn't appear for very long. So you never saw them on screen for very long together, if that makes any sense.

Sarah:  

Yeah.

Jojo:  

But yeah, you-- I mean, you absolutely know that Rosalind is the center of attention in this movie.

Sarah:  

Those stripes really tell you.

Jojo:  

In every scene she's always the one that you focus on as the viewer.

Sarah:  

Yeah. Completely. Such an interesting challenge, like to try to differentiate your lead from everybody else when you don't have color!

Jojo:  

It's true. And I was actually thinking about that, because, you know... how often do we really do projects where you're only limited to black and white? I don't think I've ever even done that.

Sarah:  

I haven't either.

Jojo:  

So I was like, "Huh." I haven't really thought about how I would have to see color and what it reads like in black and white, versus me seeing it in color in front of me. [laughs] And trying to process. What does that look like? If I only have black and white as my color palette?

Sarah:  

You would have to be constantly doing camera tests, like taking pictures and desaturating them to make sure that it looks how you think it's gonna look.

Jojo:  

It's true. Well, and the thing that's interesting about this, too, is that... like I mentioned before, her first chevron suit, it's not actually black and white.

Sarah:  

Right.

Jojo:  

Like, it's black and pink. So how does pink read on a black and white camera versus seeing black and white on a stage? Because I've designed shows where they wanted the color palette to be black, white, and red or something like that. But it's like-- that's a very different-- you're making very different choices, as opposed to when the whole entire screen filter is black and white. And it's not just the clothing that's black and white, but it's also that the actor has to look, you know, filtered through black and white. So very different challenges to face.

Sarah:  

Yeah, totally. And it's... back then they didn't really preserve stuff as much as they do now.

Jojo:  

Yeah.

Sarah:  

So if we have stuff that's been preserved, it's not in great condition. So I wish that we could know what color things were originally, and I'm going to talk about that a little in mine, actually...

Jojo:  

Yeah.

Sarah:  

...because there are a couple things that I don't know what color they were.

Jojo:  

Right.

Sarah:  

So it's... I wish we could see, so that we could contrast that with what it looks like on the screen. But we can't because...

Jojo:  

I know, I do wish that was one thing that I found more information about. I just didn't find a lot of information about the original colors of these. So it's like-- I mean, other than the... and even the black and pink, it was like, it's supposed to be black and pink. Like, they don't actually know.

Sarah:  

But WAS it, yeah.

Jojo:  

So like, who knows what color it was in real life?

Sarah:  

Well, and everybody who worked on it has passed away so we can't ask them. [both laugh]

Jojo:  

Yeah, exactly.

Sarah:  

Well, great job.  

Jojo:  

[as if to people who have passed away] Tell me!

Sarah:  

Great job. I need to rewatch that movie.

Jojo:  

Thanks, Sarah!

Sarah:  

...that movie's so fun.

Jojo:  

Yeah, it's definitely fun, and it's free on Amazon Prime. So... that was nice.

Sarah:  

Nice! Nice.

Jojo:  

Woo-hoo, I'm so excited about this movie.

Sarah:  

Yay! I was-- it was really nice to watch this again. So my movie is "Roman Holiday". One of my faves. The great Audrey Hepburn, directed by William Wyler, it came out in 1953. And the costumes are by none other than Edith Head.

Jojo:  

Ah!

Sarah:  

Who is... I'm so excited to have the opportunity to talk about her, because she truly is the most famous costume designer of all time, I think. And probably the first famous costume designer.

Jojo:  

I know, I'm surprised we haven't covered her sooner.

Sarah:  

Well, I mean...

Jojo:  

But I guess we haven't talked about a lot of old movies.

Sarah:  

Her career was very long.

Jojo:  

Mmhmm.

Sarah:  

But she stopped working in the 70s. So we haven't really covered anything past the 80s....

Jojo:  

That's true.

Sarah:  

...yet. So I'm excited about it. She worked, like I said, for decades. She was nominated for 35 Oscars, the-- obviously, the most of anybody, any costume designer. And then she won eight, which is so many Oscars.

Jojo:  

Yeah, it's crazy.

Sarah:  

She is one of only two costume designers to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. And the other one is Ruth E. Carter, who designed "Black Panther". And she just got her star last month! So until last month, Edith Head was the only costume designer on there.

Jojo:  

That's fantastic.

Sarah:  

I know.

Jojo:  

That's so crazy to me, though.

Sarah:  

We need to get more costume designers on there!

Jojo:  

I mean, awesome that, you know, the second person is a woman of color too!

Sarah:  

Yes, yes.

Jojo:  

But like, that's crazy.

I know. I read that, and I was like, "really?" [both laugh]

That's depressing!

Sarah:  

No Colleen Atwood? No Sandy Powell? No... come on. No Eiko? I mean, come on!

Jojo:  

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially, after she's passed.

Sarah:  

I know!

Jojo:  

I just feel like that should be, like, an honorable thing.

Sarah:  

I know, I don't know what qualifies you. Like, do you have to get nominated to do it? I don't know. I'll nominate... people.

Jojo:  

Yeah, I don't know. That's a good question. Question for one of our listeners out there. Someone tell us. [both laugh]

Sarah:  

Yeah! So this movie did win the Oscar for Best Costume Design in the black and white category.

Jojo:  

Ooooh.

Sarah:  

So I learned this: until 1967, there were two different costume design Oscars, one for color, and one for black and white.

Jojo:  

Nice!

Sarah:  

The categories first started in 1949. Most of the Academy Awards for Best Costume Design in black and white were given to contemporary movies. Because the movies that were being shot in Technicolor were really big, bombastic musicals, fantasies, stuff like that. So... it's so interesting that since they got rid of the black and white category, pretty much all of the winners for Best Costume Design are fantasy, sci-fi, you know, some setting other than contemporary.

Jojo:  

Yeah.

Sarah:  

And that's how it's been since then. And like, only three movies that are contemporary have won since they got rid of the black and white category. So I just thought that was really interesting.

Jojo:  

Mmm.

Sarah:  

Edith also won Oscars for "Sabrina," "All About Eve," she also designed movies like "Funny Face," "White Christmas," one of my personal favorites.

Jojo:  

Mmhmm.

Sarah:  

"To Catch a Thief". So, she's really behind a lot of the iconic looks of her time. She's-- also, Edna Mode from "The Incredibles" is based on her. [both laugh]

Jojo:  

I know! I love it so much.

Sarah:  

Her iconic little round glasses, which were often dark, and it was said that she wore the dark glasses so that people couldn't see her eyes in meetings. So they couldn't really know what she was thinking, which I love!

Jojo:  

That's so smart, I need to start doing that. [laughs]

Sarah:  

I know! Just wear sunglasses as a power move, to a meeting.

Jojo:  

It's true. My problem is I smile too much, because... so even if you didn't see my face, I feel like you just read it in my mouth. [both laugh]

Sarah:  

That's funny. So yeah, that's a little background on Edith. The setting for this movie is 1950s Rome, Italy. The typical silhouette of the 50s is based kind of on... it kind of started with Christian Dior's New Look in 1947, which I think we've touched on a little bit. But the New Look was revolutionary at the time because it was such a deviation from the silhouettes of the previous decade of the 40s. Because like we said, in the 40s there were a lot of fabric restrictions and rationing happening. So the silhouettes were really streamlined, not very showy at all, very utilitarian, sometimes military inspired, even, because of the war.

Jojo:  

Mmhmm.

Sarah:  

So the New Look kind of exploded onto the scene as... quite literally, a very new look that people were not used to seeing. It's characterized by small waist and an hourglass silhouette, which emphasizes the feminine features of a woman's body: a full bust, full hips, small waist. And it uses a lot of fabric in the skirts especially. So it's-- it's a very joyful thing to have happen after so many years of being restricted, not being able to use as much fabric as you would like to use.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

So that's a little background on the 50s. So let's talk about Audrey Hepburn's character, Princess Ann. So in this movie she's she's basically this princess, and she's on sort of like a European tour. I don't know what country she's supposed to be from, didn't really look into it. [both laugh] I don't know if they ever say.

Jojo:

i know, I was like, “i don't know if I remember either.” It's been so long since i've seen the movie.

Sarah:

She has sort of a non-regional British sounding accent. But she's basically on this tour, and she feels very restricted by all the rules she has to follow. All the public appearances she has to make where she has to be polite and shake hands with people, and just be a perfect princess. And she's really struggling with feeling restricted by her life, which is kind of where we join her in the— at the beginning of the movie. So this is the beginning, she's at a ball where she's meeting all these dignitaries and stuff. So… she's beautiful, obviously. [laughs] She’s Audrey Hepburn. One of the most beautiful women of all time.

Jojo:

Oh, yeah. I just love Audrey Hepburn. Like, timeless. It's like Edith Head, she just lives on forever-ever in your memory.

Sarah:

Forever. Legend. And also just a really good person? Like, she was a real philanthropist.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

she was cool.

Jojo:

yeah, everything about her life was… I don't know, it's just so—

Sarah:

she seems rad.

Jojo:

…respectable.

Sarah:

yeah!

Jojo:

that's not enough of a good word to describe it, but you know what I mean. [laughs]

Sarah:

yeah just like… the embodiment of grace and goodness, in my opinion.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

so this is her gown that she's wearing. Very 50s silhouette, although the fullness starts at the hip instead of at the waist, which is… I mean, it was pretty typical of the time.

Jojo:

Yeah.

Sarah:

beautiful off-the-shoulder gown. It's got beading on. And apparently in real life, it was sort of silver? I saw a picture of it on display somewhere, and it has really yellowed. So I didn't pull that because I was like, “well, that's not actually what color it was. We don't need to look at that.”

Jojo:

[laughs] It’s not gold.

Sarah:

So yeah, is this…? Here's a full length. And apparently…

Jojo:

Oh, it’s so beautiful!

Sarah:

Yeah, it's it's really iconic. I love the sash, you know? It's sort of like a royal… sash on it. With some metal-looking…

Jojo:

It makes me think very Anastasia.

Sarah:

Yeah!

Jojo:

Even though I don't know if that's actually the country she's from.

Sarah:

Who knows? I sure don’t.

Jojo:

But that sash makes me think of Russian. [laughs]

Sarah:

Yeah. Apparently in her screen test, the people—maybe the director—was worried that it was too long. But Audrey was an accomplished dancer. They were like, “can you dance in it?” And she was like, “oh I can DANCE in it.” [laughs] Like, “WATCH me dance. Don't worry about it.”

Jojo:

Oh, again, just… good at everything!

Sarah:

And then she's got beautiful, you know, jewels on. Tiara. Just…she looks like a perfect princess. I love her hair, it's sort of like a crown of braids, beautiful. And then…

Jojo:

Ooh, yeah.

Sarah:

Yeah. This is kind of… i'll brighten this picture up when I put it on Instagram, it's a little bit dark.

Jojo:

Mmhmm..

Sarah:

And then this is a fun little shot, because during the scene her feet really hurt. So she starts to  shift her weight and take her shoes off and kind of stretch her feet out. And so you get this nice shot of what the underneath of her dress might look like. And I don't know if this is what it actually looked like, or if it’s… it's probably some sort of thing they made just to shoot this.

Jojo:

Like, doctored up.

Sarah:

Yeah, like a half a petticoat, crinoline thing. But I thought it was really fun, this little peek underneath the dress.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

Oh and here's the rendering. Beautiful.

Jojo:

Ooh.

Sarah:

Edith Head made beautiful renderings. I don't think she ever really knew how to sew herself, but a lot of designers don’t.

Jojo:

Yeah, I think there's a lot of articles about that.

Sarah:

Yeah. That's okay. I mean, it helps but you don't have to. [laughs] Clearly.

Jojo:

There's a lot of designers, actually, that don't know how to sew.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Jojo:

I would say more than… more than not.

Sarah:

Yeah, it's interesting that the sash is red in this picture. I wonder if it was red in real life. Probably.

Jojo:

Yeah, it's so interesting to me too, when you're rendering for a black and white movie do you render it in black and white?

Sarah:

Yeah.

Jojo:

Or do you… you know what I mean? Because you're not… you're never going to ever see that as red in the picture. So it just makes me wonder, where do you make that decision to… do I just do this in the black and white that I want to see? Or do I do it in the color I think is going to read as this shade of gray?

Sarah:

I think she she rendered in color.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

I didn't find any other renderings from this movie, but I have a big coffee table book that I was looking at, and it seems like all of her renderings were in color no matter what the movie…

Jojo:

Mmhmm. Yeah.

Sarah:

If it was or wasn’t.

Jojo:

Oh, okay.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Jojo:

Oh, so beautiful.

Sarah:

So next we have her nightgown, and this is when she's in her bedroom talking about how much she's tired of her life, and she kind of goes into hysterics. And they end up drugging her with a sedative so that she can sleep, which is… makes me sad.

Jojo:

[laughs] Yikes.

Sarah:

Yeah. So this… it's definitely period, but it looks kind of young. It looks like childlike and very prim, and I think that that just tells us more about how she's kind of being restricted. She's not allowed to… she's not being permitted to be a normal young woman. She's kind of being held back and kept in this life that she doesn't necessarily… it's not that she doesn't want it. It's just that she's feeling like she needs to escape for a while. And I love this, this is her… I called her in my notes her “handler.” But I think she's a countess of some kind.

Jojo:

Her handler. [both laugh]

Sarah:

Yeah, she's just going over her schedule.

Jojo:

I do love that.

Sarah:

I was like, I don't know. She's in charge. I like her gown, it looks… I don't know what fabric this is.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

It could be some sort of faille, where it's got the little tiny ribbing on it.

Jojo:

Oh, yeah.

Sarah:

Or, is there one called moire or something, that has sort of like a…

Jojo:

Moire? Yeah.

Sarah:

It makes sort of shiny patterns? Yeah. I like it a lot, I think it's really cool.

Jojo:

It's beautiful.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Jojo:

It's funny, because like, her… if you just looked at her head and her face, she does actually look a little bit like Edith Head.

Sarah:

[laughs] Yeah, the glasses too!

Jojo:

Uh-huh!

Sarah:

That's funny, that's very funny. So then, she sneaks out of the palace while under the influence of a sedative. [both laugh] Hijinks ensue. And so this is the outfit that she puts on to escape, and I think she… the sedative doesn't kick in until she's on the back of a truck, escaping.

Jojo:

Oh, jeez. [both laugh]

Sarah:

Yeah.

Jojo:

Moving vehicle and sedative do not go together!

Sarah:

Honestly yeah, she's lucky she didn't get kidnapped and die. [both laugh] But this is… so, this is the outfit she puts on that she basically, she wears for a lot of the… most of the movie, in the middle. But it goes through kind of a transformation as her day goes on. So it starts very buttoned up, she's got sort of a little tie at the top. You can see her teeny, teeny waist.

Jojo:

Yeah.

Sarah:

And maybe I'll talk now about… I read some stuff in my Edith Head book about Audrey, and I don't want to make a habit of commenting on actors’ bodies. But this relates to the costume design, so that's why I'm going to talk about it.

Jojo:

Okay.

Sarah:

So anybody who's sensitive to that kind of discussion might need to skip ahead a little bit. So she suffered from—Audrey—suffered from malnutrition during World War II. She's Belgian. And she was very thin, which was not really the ideal body type of the 50s. Obviously, they were all thin, but they… like I said, the ideal was sort of a full bosom and full hips, hourglass silhouette.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

And so Edith talked a lot about like wanting to de-emphasize Audrey's thinness, so that's why she has sort of a long-sleeve shirt. She said her collarbones stuck out a lot, so she tried to cover those, and then she put her in full skirts. Like, no form-fitting skirts, because her hips were so slim.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

And then she had really muscular legs because she was a dancer.

Jojo:

Right.

Sarah:

And they were probably sinewy, you know? Like, thin and muscular. so she doesn't wear anything shorter than a midi length.

Jojo:

Mmm.

Sarah:

So that was… that kind of influenced Edith’s choices when she clothed Audrey. And then just another tidbit is that her waist was 19 1/2 inches.

Jojo:

Oh my gosh! That's crazy!

Sarah:

That's teeny tiny.

Jojo:

That's like, half of a lot of people's busts that I know. That's like, only measuring from underarm to underarm.

Sarah:

She was a petite lady.

Jojo:

That’s insane. So crazy.

Sarah:

Yeah. Very, very little.

Jojo:

So was she… well, and I don't want to spend too much time talking about this. But was she intentionally malnutritioned, or was it just something from when she was born, that she just didn't get enough?

Sarah:

Oh no, I think it was during the war,

Jojo:

Oh, okay.

Sarah:

A lot of a lot of people in the war did not have access to food.

Jojo:

Got it, got it.

Sarah:

So people went hungry during a lot of the war. I don't know specifically about Belgium during World War II, but a lot of the countries… I don't know if they were invaded, but if the Nazis came in… like, they took all their resources.

Jojo:

Well, and Belgium was known for being constantly overtaken by multiple countries.

Sarah:

That's what I thought, I read that in a book.

Jojo:

It was right in… it was that tiny one in the middle of everything, so every country was invading Belgium.

Sarah:

Yeah. So it’s… if she was sort of… she was probably a teenager during that time. Or a child?

Jojo:

Oh, that’s true, that’s true. That makes sense, then.

Sarah:

Yeah, if she wasn't getting food during the time when she was supposed to be growing and developing, then that's kind of what contributed to how slight she was.

Jojo:

Right, got it.

Sarah:

So yeah, that's it, that's all I want to say about that. Okay, so this skirt. I don't know what color it was in real life, I really wanted to know, just out of curiosity.

Jojo:

[laughs] Yeah.

Sarah:

On the poster that they colorized, they made it blue. But then in some colorized images it's beige-tan.

Jojo:

Okay. I know, I was thinking blue initially, but then I was like, “who knows?” [laughs]

Sarah:

I don't know. And I did a light Google, I didn't do a deep Google of it. So if the information's out there, I couldn't find it.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

Yeah, so this is— she's a princess in disguise, you know, she needs to look kind of normal and blend in. And then here's Gregory Peck in his one outfit that he wears. [both laugh] Just like Cary Grant, he kind of just sticks to… he sticks to a suit. And he's also a journalist in this movie.

Jojo:

Oh!

Sarah:

So he looks a little bit more rumpled, because he's definitely poor. Because, you know, they go back to his flat and it's one room, it's tiny.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

So he's kind of like a penniless American journalist in Rome, but he's still a heartthrob. So he still has to look good. Here's a picture of her, this is from her screen test. But this is kind of what the outfit transforms into? Like, rolls up the sleeves, unbuttons the shirt, puts a scarf on. I tried to figure out where she got the scarf. Could not figure it out. [laughs] Like, in the movie. In the world of the movie.

Jojo:

In the movie, you mean practically speaking? [laughs]

Sarah:

Yeah, so she starts in a pump heel, and then she buys the sandals from a street vendor. I love the sandals.

Jojo:

I do love those.

Sarah:

But the scarf just appears, and it doesn't explain where it came from. [both laugh] That's okay, maybe I just missed it, I don't know.

Jojo:

Oh, that’s funny.

Sarah:

And then she gets her hair cut too! Which is, like… this haircut is so iconic. So cute. Love it.

Jojo:

M. Very Audrey Hepburn.

Sarah:

Like honestly, I would wear this outfit, and there are probably some outfits I have worn that look kind of like this. It's so cute, so timeless.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

And also, apparently they shot during the summer and Rome was very hot. So I think it's also very practical for shooting outside in the summer.

Jojo:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Here’s another picture, this iconic picture of them on the stairs.

Jojo:

So cute!

Sarah:

Yeah, just adorable, I love it.

Jojo:

I know, this makes me want to go back out and get more blouses again. [both laugh] I’ve run out of a lot of— because we've been stuck in quarantine, I'm just wearing sweaters and sweatpants.

Sarah:

I know. My sweatpants have like, holes in them. Because i've been wearing them for a straight year.

Jojo:

[laughs] That’s how I feel too! I was like. “I've had some of these pants for so long,” and I don't have the money to go out and buy a ton of new clothes. So all of my jeans have now gotten holes at the crotch and the knees and like…

Sarah:

I have powerful thighs, so that’s where it wears out.

Jojo:

…I really shouldn’t be wearing these anymore. [both laugh]

Sarah:

I just patch it. Patch it and move on.

Jojo:

I need to do that. [both laugh] It was recent holes, for the jeans. But yeah, some of my other sweatpants, I was just like, these don't need to be patched. These just need to get given away or thrown away.

Sarah:

My one favorite pair of jeans, I patched. Because I have thighs that rub together, because I got chub rub. And I patched them in the crotch so many times that I finally… like, there's no fabric left to patch, like it— and I still have them! Because I refuse to let go. But I can't wear them anymore. [both laugh]

Jojo:

That’s how I feel with some of my jeans! I was like, “but I love these jeans! They fit so well!”

Sarah:

It's so sad to have to let them go.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

Anyway.

Jojo:

Side note. [both laugh]

Sarah:

Yeah, so you can see a little bit more of her blouse in this shot. I think probably they had multiples of this, obviously, since she wears only this. But if you look at the long sleeve version versus the short sleeve, it doesn't look like THAT much sleeve is rolled up into that much roll.

Jojo:

Yeah, I was gonna say. I was like, “there's no way.” [laughs]

Sarah:

Yeah, so a little, you know… a little bit of movie magic. Switch it out for one that is shorter so that it doesn't look so bulky on the arm. What else did I say… oh yeah, throughout the day you know, as she's sort of going about her day and having fun in Rome, she gets a lot looser and more free. And that's reflected in the in the clothes, of course.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

She doesn’t— I don't think she stands out. I mean, she stands out on screen because she's Audrey Hepburn. But I think the idea is that she blends in because she doesn't want people to recognize her.

Jojo:

Right.

Sarah:

Love the sandals. I need to get some sandals like this.

Jojo:

I know.

Sarah:

…do I have anything else to say about his suit? No, he looks good. It's just… I think it's definitely… it's nice to contrast it to the one that Cary Grant was wearing, because I think it's a lot less sharp than that one was.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

A little more relaxed, you know? Probably summer weight, because it’s hot.

Jojo: Yeah, but still very much of that time period.

Sarah: Yeah.

Jojo:

Kind of, you know, the wider leg is starting to be— I shouldn't say “starting to be,” but it's returning in the 1940s, I think.

Sarah:

Mmhmm.

Jojo:

Or, this is 1950…?

Sarah:

’53, yeah.

Jojo:

’53, okay, yeah. So it's actually, yeah, it's getting wider in the 1950s. Because I think it was still pretty slim in the 40s because they were trying to save fabric, so…

Sarah:

Yeah, yeah yeah.

Jojo:

Yeah, tells you a lot about the period, for sure.

Sarah:

And it's fun to, like— it's fun to cover a contemporary movie, but that was contemporary at the time, you know?

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

It’s obviously not contemporary anymore. But it's so interesting to see. They're not trying to do any specific period, they're just doing their time, 1953.

Jojo:

Right, right. What's contemporary at this time is now period for us.

Sarah:

Exactly.

Jojo:

But then, what's contemporary for us will be period, you know, 10 years from now.

Sarah:

Yeah, exactly

Jojo:

So yeah.

Sarah:

Always makes me wonder, what will our decades be characterized by? It's hard to really tell when you're in the middle of it.

Jojo:

Yeah especially since— I mean, we have… we're going through fashion so quickly.

Sarah:

So quickly.

Jojo:

So it's almost it's hard to kind of pinpoint what is characteristic of our generation.

Sarah:

Yep, completely, so interesting. So this is her look at the end, when she's gone back to the palace and she's having a press conference. Because they lied and said that she was really sick, and she's just kind of out saying, “I'm better now and I'm going to continue my tour.” So Edith Head— I watched an interview with her from like, a thousand years ago, that they made about this movie. And she said this is lace, and I was like, “oh yeah I guess it is lace!” Because like I looked at it and I went, “is that organza?” But it's not, it's lace.

Jojo:

[laughs] Yeah.

Sarah:

It's very pretty.

Jojo:

So beautiful.

Sarah:

Back to the, you know, feminine, light, princess-y sort of thing. I love this little hat and how it emphasizes her new hair and her face. So pretty. And the pearls are beautiful too.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

Here's a full body shot of it, the silhouette is just gorge.

Jojo:

Oh my goodness, I can't believe the entire thing is in lace.

Sarah:

I know, so pretty!

Jojo:

So beautiful.

Sarah:

It's so romantic looking, so feminine and demure, but… still just like, “yeah I'm the prettiest in the room. What about it?” You know? [both laugh]

Jojo:

I'm not gonna lie, I love this sleeve, and I think— I mean, we've been working on this for the photo shoot we keep talking about. But that giant kind of like, lantern sleeve is just so… I mean, hers stops at her elbow. But I just I love that look, and it being transparent too, and being able to still see the delicate arm underneath is… I don't know, there's just something really beautiful about that.

Sarah:

I love the sleeve. I love the length of it, I love everything about it.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

And once again, we have the volume starting at the hip instead of starting it right at the waist…

Jojo:

Yeah.

Sarah:

…and that just calls more attention to her figure, you know?

Jojo:

Yeah.

Sarah:

And then this is her seeing them at the press conference and realizing that they actually know that she— they knew she was the princess all along. Oh no. [laughs] I was gonna talk a little bit— I did this in a weird order. This is his— he changes into this outfit on the second day, and it's more of a tweed blazer. I like it. You know, it’s…

Jojo:

I do, too. I love a tweed blazer.

Sarah:

It changes up the texture. Yeah. I think it's a fun way to be like, well, he's changing his clothes. It doesn't look that different, but it looks different enough that we know that he's changed.

Jojo:

Yeah, I feel like tweed is one of those textures that I always want to like… pet. [laughs]

Sarah:

Yeah!

Jojo:

Like, you can feel it even when you see it on screen. You know it's tweed, but you also— I feel like I get a tactile texture when I think of tweed, or when I see tweed.

Sarah:

It's also delightful to work with, because it's often very loosely woven and woolly. And things that are that way are really easy to manipulate and make them do what you want them to do.

Jojo:

Yeah.

Sarah:

So anybody who's ever made something out of tweed is like, “oh yeah. Piece of cake.” [both laugh] It just does what you want it to do, you don't have to even argue with it.

Jojo:

It's like the little slubby texture I love.

Sarah:

Right. So this is Irving, he's sort of our sidekick-y guy. He's constantly getting things spilled on and getting tripped, and it makes me feel very bad for him because he's nobody ever really apologizes about it. [both laugh]

Jojo:

Oh, no.

Sarah:

It's just like, he keeps trying to spill the beans. And Gregory Peck's character keeps stopping him from spilling the beans by pouring water on him, or tripping him at the restaurant, and it makes me sad.

Jojo:

Poor guy!

Sarah:

But I really like his outfit. It's a nice like sort of wide neck t-shirt with a high-waisted pant, and then sort of a jacket. And I like how casual he is compared to Joe… which is Gregory Peck's character's name that I haven't used until just now. [both laugh]

Jojo:

It’s okay, I kept using “Cary,” so…

Sarah:

So yeah, he's just like… he's just more casual, and I like the sort of other example of “1950s guy” clothes. Because it's a very tight t-shirt, it shows his chest very nicely.

Jojo:

It's funny because he actually looks very contemporary.

Sarah:

Yeah!

Jojo:

Because this fashion trend is kind of returning for menswear. So I just— it's like, we look at this even though it's from over 50 years ago, and it still looks like, “oh yeah, I could see that guy on the street today.”

Sarah:

High-waisted pants are coming back for men and I could not be more excited. I think they look so good on men.

Jojo:

Yeah, me too. Mmhmm.

Sarah:

I think they look so good on men. I… wear more of them, dudes. They look good on you!

Jojo:

[laughs]

Sarah:

Yeah, I mean— this outfit, I could see on a TikTok guy doing fashion outfits.

Jojo:

Yeah, uh-huh. Love it.

Sarah:

Yeah, totally. And then here's one more shot of them at the end. A little more formal because they’re, you know, visiting the palace. Just a nice— he's got a stripe, which differentiates him from everybody else in the shot. And then Irving is nice sort of compliment in his lighter tone.

Jojo:

Yeah, even in this last image he looks like— I think he just has a really contemporary face, too. Maybe that's the other thing.

Sarah:

Maybe that's it, yeah. Oh, the other thing I wanted to talk about a little bit is something I learned on Wikipedia. Which is that another designer had a big hand in this, in Audrey's daytime look. And her name was Sonja de Lennart, she was a European fashion designer and she was the inventor of the Capri pant.

Jojo:

Wow!

Sarah:

Which was a just a piece in her Capri collection, but it's the only one that has retained the name Capri, because it was distinctive, and it became famous.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

So Edith Head recognized how revolutionary her Capri collection was and put it in this movie. So this belt and this skirt are from the collection, I think.

Jojo:

Ooh, nice.

Sarah:

And Audrey Hepburn went on to wear Capri pants in “Sabrina” as well.

Jojo:

Mmhmm.

Sarah:

So Edith head introduced the Capri collection to the world, basically, through Audrey Hepburn. But the Capri pants are the ones that really made a lasting legacy. And Sonja didn't get any credit, in the— you know, in this movie. But…

Jojo:

Yeah.

Sarah:

…now we know that that was her contribution.

Jojo:

Right.

Sarah:

You know, I think that's pretty common, for them to have— it's like, Edith Head designed it. And by “design,” we mean she pulled whatever she needed to pull in and put it all together, and that's designing. And that's totally valid. But I think it's important to recognize the work of Sonja.

Jojo:

Especially for such a revolutionary garment like that.

Sarah:

I know, I know.

Jojo:

And that lasted for a long time.

Sarah:

And we still call them “Capri pants”! So like, clearly it's a legacy.

Jojo:

Right!

Sarah:

So I thought that was interesting.

Jojo:

So interesting!

Sarah:

Yeah, so that's “Roman Holiday”.

Jojo:

Yay, thank you Sarah! Good job.

Sarah:

Thank you.

Jojo:

I know, it's nice to always have those extra fun facts, especially when you… I mean, we talk about costume design so much, but we also both came kind of from a fashion background as well.

Sarah:

Mmhmm.

Jojo:

So it's like you have a little bit of that tie-in from both ends, and a lot of the same skills kind of translate through both. So I'm glad that it shows that they're working with fashion designers all the time. And even today, you'll have stylists on movies in addition to the costume designer. Sometimes they'll work together, sometimes it's kind of like they'll trade off what they work on, or what costumes they do. And so yeah, there's a lot of crossover between fashion and costumes.

Sarah:

Absolutely, and I think it's in the Wikipedia article, it was like, “she didn't get any credit.” I'm like I mean— that's not that uncommon. Like, it’s not that I think that Edith Head was stepping on her to take her success. I think it was just that she found clothes that she really liked and put them in her movie, and since she was the one who found them and put them on the actor, she was credited as a designer. And that’s— I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But I do think that it's important now that we know where it came from, you know?

Jojo:

Yeah, and the hard thing, too, is that with costume designers a lot of times we are choosing clothes.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Jojo:

That already exist. So like, to credit every single designer brand that's on your clothing, you know… it's like, when you do have to do that project where it's like, you have no budget and you have ten dollars to your name to try and costume 100 people. It's like, well then, a lot of stuff is gonna come from Target or Goodwill.

Sarah:

Mmhmm.

Jojo:

And it's like, you can't just go to a brand and say, “okay, I got that thing from Goodwill. Sorry, Goodwill needs to be credited on the…”

Sarah:

[laughs] Yeah.

Jojo:

You know, it just doesn't make sense to be crediting stuff like that. Because clothes are just a natural part of our job.

Sarah:

Exactly, especially in contemporary movies, and it was a contemporary movie at the time. So it totally makes sense.

Jojo:

Right, yeah, so… but it's good that we're recognizing that now, you know, years later. [both laugh] Better late than never, I guess.

Sarah:

Yeah, and I think she was— she had a successful career, so it's not as if Edith stole this and she never had success again. She was a successful designer, so…

Jojo:

Ah, cool. That's a fun fact.

Sarah:

It is a fun fact, right? [both laugh]

Jojo:

Cool, well that's our episode. Hopefully you guys enjoyed that! I’m hoping we get to cover more black and white movies in the future.

S arah:

Yeah.

Jojo:

There's many more out there that we we probably have on our list.

Sarah:

Totally, and I'm sure we could find some examples of contemporary movies now that are done in black and white that would be interesting to talk about.

Jojo:

Yeah, I actually I was thinking about that when I was trying to pick up which movie I wanted to cover. Because I just watched “Malcolm and Marie,” which is also all in black and white.

Sarah:

Ohh.

Jojo:

And they're literally— again, it's like one scene that happens over less than 24 hours, it's overnight, and it's just two characters the entire scene. And it's just them going back and forth between fighting, and then making up, and then fighting again.

Sarah:

Wow.

Jojo:

So it's a really interesting movie. It's definitely one of those things where it's a lot— like, it's a deep thinking movie. You have to kind of understand what the director was trying to do. But again, looking at how black and white shows up on the screen and how to really costume for that.

Sarah:

Mmhmm. Totally.

Jojo:

Definitely more movies to cover in the future.

Sarah:

Yeah, so send them send them our way if you have suggestions as always. All right!

Jojo:

Perfect! Well thank you so much for everyone who's listening. Again, don't forget to review us, we're still donating a dollar for every review that we get.

Sarah:

Yes we are!

Jojo:

Sarah, do you want to remind them what… did we pick a charity that we're donating to?

Sarah:

I think Dress for Success is a good candidate. I think we should do Dress for Success.

Jojo:

Great.

Sarah:

Because they help people find professional wardrobes so that they can get employment and stuff. And I think that that, especially right now, is an important thing to be doing.

Jojo:

Yeah, absolutely. So yes, just if you're able to review us, I believe Apple Podcasts is where you can review us?

Sarah:

Please do.

Jojo:

I don’t think you can do it on Spotify yet, right?

Sarah:

I don't think so, I've looked into it and I don't know how to do it. If you know how to do it, please do it but I don't know how. [both laugh]

Jojo:

Yeah, exactly.

Sarah:

But the ratings and the reviews are what will get us to a bigger audience. So if you like us and you want us to find more ears, then that's the best thing you can do for us.

Jojo:

Yeah. Thank you so much, for everyone who's supporting us. We've been seeing even just new followers within the last week!

Sarah:

Mmhmm.

Jojo:

Which has been really exciting. So for those of you who are new and just joining us, we're hoping you're still as excited about costumes, to talk about them every week, as we are.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Jojo:

Or, I should say, every other week. Yeah, and if you guys have suggestions on any other topics or themes that you want us to cover, or just specific movies you want us to cover, know that we are adding them to our list. [laughs] Our very extensive list. And we'll try to get to them as soon as we can.

Sarah:

Yeah, we definitely will.

Jojo:

Thanks everyone!

Sarah:

Thank you!

Jojo:

So I'm Jojo.

Sarah:

I'm Sarah.

Jojo:

Thanks for listening to The Costume Plot!

Sarah:

Thanks, bye!

Jojo:

We'll talk to you next time!

[OUTRO]

Jojo:

Thank you for listening to The Costume Plot! You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram at @thecostumeplot. If you have a question, comment, or movie suggestion you can email us at thecostumeplot@gmail.com.

Sarah:

Our theme music is by Jesse Timm, and our artwork is by Jojo Siu. Please rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

[tumblunni]

Aaaand back to more Luke route from Red String of Fate! Starting off with another Actually Rather Cute Moment Of Chemistry That Isn’t Just Romance Novel Melodrama

Tho also i forgot to mention a bit of drama that worked really well! Somehow I missed taking any screenshots of it, but there’s a sweet moment of our protagonist getting depressed remembering her deceased parents and then luke brings up his ALSO deceased parents and they share a hug together. Like I know that sounds a bit weirdly coincidental, but the actual dialogue was really good! It was super sad when protagonist was like ‘I’m so grateful that i got to know my parents for a few years, poor Luke lost them when he was so small’. And then she talks about her happy memories of going to this beach with them, and how she gets panic attacks trying to return to the beach, and he offers to take photos of it for her so she can still remember it without having to be so scared. It was just very well written! And I didnt screenshot it! GAHHHH!

More stuff below!

Aaaaand then we go into dating sim cliches again, the good old ‘mistaken for cheating’ scene. But protagonist seems super jerky for getting jealous here cos SHE HASNT EVEN TOLD HIM SHE LOVES HIM and SHE KEEPS TURNING HIM DOWN BECAUSE DESTINY. But like this trope still bugs me even when there isnt all that extra stuff, its really horrible behaviour to get mad at a man for just.. having female friends?? Talking to other women ever?? I mean he could have just been asking some girl in his class what the homework was!

Also another stupid addition- ha ha gay jokes. I didn’t wanna screencap the whole set of dialogue here but basically Aaron comes along to try and distract the girl and help you out, but HA HA FUNNIE JOKE the girl mistakes him for Luke’s boyfriend. And that’s just.. the joke. the scene just ends. Okay then.

Also this makes the whole thing super dumb because why is she overreacting so much even after she realized that Luke was uncomfortable around this woman and asked protag to help get rid of her. HOW DARE YOU TALK TO HER WHEN YOU WERENT TALKING TO HER AND DIDNT WANT TO, AND ALSO WE AREN’T FUCKIN DATING, SERIOUSLY WTF

Also like.. whoa this plot is really fucked up and I feel way more sympathetic for this girl than I think i’m supposed to?? Like she was dating Luke and then Luke just suddenly broke up with her for seemingly no reason, and also CUT OFF ALL CONTACT WITH HER AND RAN OFF TO A NEW SCHOOL Seriously, this nonsense with following destinies caused him to be an ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE to her, and just make both of them miserable! Like, we don’t hear that she was happy with this other man and he was totally right, she didnt need him. We hear that she’s been desperately trying to find him again and no indication she ended up with that dude! And like she’s just NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN We just run away from her and like we get to be sad about how sad he is about her, but the conclusion isn’t that he realizes he was wrong and goes back to her, or even becomes friends again, or even explains himself to her and makes sure she’s okay... I feel so sad for her wtf... why didnt she get an epilogue in the happy ending route...

SERIOUSLY SHE WAS TRYING TO COMFORT HIM ABOUT HIS GRANDPA’S DEATH like she’s called a ‘stalker’ by the game?? but her boyfriend just fucking ran away and deleted all his contact numbers overnight?? and all we see is that she’s trying to find out if he’s okay! I’d be so terrified something had happened to him, jesus christ! This poor woman!

wy she toch me

aww noooo poor grandpa what an endearing gramp moment damn I miss grandpa too why must every character in this game be cursed with a million family deaths

Things that were intended to be romantic but ended up creepy as fuck: 2 Chocolate moans and phone whispers, yikes...

Good dialogue that makes me go daww at their actual romantic chemistry, unlike all the everything else: 4

WISH YOU’D SHOWN IT TO US TOO seriously why make it a plot point if you’re not gonna show it i was looking forward to seeing his poems, not just being told they were apparantly great, no really

YOU ARE DANGEROUSLY OBSESSED PLEASE STOP HOW IS THIS ROMANTIC ITS JUST SAD AND SCARY how many chances at happiness has she missed?? how many years has she shaved off her lifespan by treating herself like shit for the sake of some dumb thing that may never happen??

YAAAAY GRANDMA We actually get to see his grandma!! Its weird cos other minor story roles didn’t get a picture, its been literally nobody but the main three so far. Anyway I love her design and oh man she is so oddly tiny?? Cartoon grandparents are even more loveable than real ones!

I love grandma

Anyway, the plot finally rerails and like the main catalyst for the two of them falling in love is just... grandma tells them they’re in love. Magical grandma can ~sense~ it and tries to convince her to confess to her grandson.

Also somehow magical grandma knew someone else who may have had the same power, conveiniently! And okay yes PLEASE thank you, can we challenge the destiny bullshit please-

NOOOOOOOOO stop missing the point aaaaa no it just proves the soulmate shit isn’t necessary to be happy in liiiiife

WHEN WAS THIS EVER MENTIONED

Aww this cg is really cute, gotta love that classic run into arms hug~ Tho I laughed when i noticed the sparkle effects look like dandruff!

The context of this here is that Luke uses his never before mentioned riches to help her get an interview with a famous journalist, and she’s so happy she hugs him. And like.. somehow this is like... sexual tension?? They can’t hug without wanting to kiss?? like do these people not hug their platonic friends ever, geez.. Funny that the kiss part actually ruined the cuteness for me! Cos they don’t actually kiss no matter what you pick, they just break the hug and act super awkward and angry at each other and its really frustrating??

DEVOUR FACE REQUIRE SUSTINANCE TO ENGAGE ROMANCE

Accidentally creepy ‘romance’ count: 3

[chaoticaddict]

Tagged: Writer Interview

I was tagged by @logicheartsoul and you guys know I’m a sucker for this stuff by now so yaaaay~

What made you start writing for the first time?

I honestly can’t answer this due to the fact that I’ve been writing ever since I can really remember.  Every time I think I locate the first thing that really got me, I remember something from even earlier.  I’m an only child, so I was always telling stories to myself while I played in the backyard and writing them down, and that transitioned into fanfic when I got older.

If you could only write about the ocean, the forest, or the desert for the rest of your life, which one would you pick?

If you know me, you know my ocean boner is as fierce as my space boner and I see a lot of lovely parallels between the two.  There are so many parts of the ocean we haven’t explored.  My fascination first started with @dduane‘s Deep Wizardry, which is still my favorite in her Young Wizards series.  I started watching a lot of ocean documentaries and fell in love with it.  Then after High Wizardry I watched a lot of space documentaries and fell in love with space -- also due to all the time at my cabin under the stars.  But yes, definitely the ocean, zero question.  The other two are fascinating environments, but the ocean is a vast and terrifying place with many mysteries to be explored.

Would you ever write a memoir?

Ehhhh?  I don’t know.  I found out I’m surprisingly decent at nonfiction, and I do enjoy writing it, but I’m wondering what I myself could contribute, really.  Part of me thinks that’s the appeal; an approach of a not-famous person, but at the same time, it’s still almost arrogant to think that?????????  tl;dr I have no goddamn idea if it happens it happens

Do you like writing by hand, or writing with a computer?

I wrote by hand all the time when I was little.  Then when I hit high school, we had to do those blue book essays for pretty much every test and we were timed.  I’m a much slower writer than I am a typer (I got grounded as a kid and all I could do was play Mavis Beacon 9 so my wpm is insane), so I pushed myself really hard and now have horrible carpel tunnel.  I can’t even grade papers at my job without a wrist brace or play Wii games for an extended period of time without a brace.  So, definitely computer because A) it comes out faster, and B) it doesn’t hurt as bad.  

The correct correct answer is typewriter, though.

Would you rather be popular among many readers, or unpopular, by loved by critics?

Okay my dudes.  Here’s my opinion on critics, and I am throwing stones in a glass house because I do videogame reviews myself: Critics are people who are just paid to voice their opinion.  Yes, they have a lot of sway and think analytically but people who take critics’ words as gospel really annoy me.  You will never know if you enjoy a piece of media unless you experience it yourself.  I’ve disliked a lot of critically acclaimed things and loved a lot of hated things.  

On the other hand, being popular among many readers is also a problem.  I’ve seen writers start to write for their audience instead of for themselves, and imo, as a creator that’s one of the worst things you can do.  Taking requests or commissions is different, but if you start trying to please everyone, you lose the story you’re really trying to tell.  The authors I love and respect know where to draw the line, so I think both options are actually double-sided and poor for similar reasons.  They influence how you create, and not always in a good way.  It can push you into a hole if you’re not careful.

I like to write, and create, because it’s what my friends and I enjoy doing.  If I have fun with it, that’s all that matters.

Do you listen to music while you write?  What is the best writing music?

I generally listen to orchestral soundtracks; videogames, movies, or just orchestra in general.  Or ambient noises.  If I really need to focus, I’ll stop it and zero in on a point, then when I feel like I’ve gotten everything I need to, I start the music back up again.  Anything lyricless, really.

Do people you’ve met find their way into your writing?

I think it’s safe to say this is true for most writers.  I often use bits of dialogue between my friends, or find characters influenced by my friends’ tics or habits.  None of them are ever straight up one person; it’s usually an amalgamation of people and their own originality.

Tagging

You don’t have to do it if you don’t want really but I know a few people who might have fun with this

@boulderpapershears, @sutzrainbow, @wakemeifyoureoutthere, @adragonnamedpetey, @greynasdire, @vip3rpilot, @amonares, @dragonessuniverse, @theglyphscrawls, @brokenshells-and-birdbones, @iiphides, @silentoracle, @jestershark, and whoever else wants to do it.  Tag me so I can see your answers :3

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

what the... fuck?

yet again we start off with a cutscene that looks like its from a completely different game... or low quality anime

-

...why are we starting off in court

-

“who brings a defendant to his own trial late”

why... is this sentence not processing 

for the life of me i have no idea what that means;

-

simon: you can just SCARE the judge into not giving a fuck about shit like being late, or threatening people under the guise of clever psychological manipulation!

also hi again simon

are you ready to be fun and likeable and not awful ?? I'm excited!

-

“i wish he'd stop treating me like a child all the time”

hey, old habits die hard.

-

simons already doing well by being an overprotective dork... so far so good. dont disappoint me, samurai.

-

our defendant is drunk

we’re off to an excellent start!

-

what... accent is this...

oh its drunkinese ok 

-

“three sheets to the wind”

ive never heard that one

maybe they can get away with having a drunk guy but they cant actually say drunk?

-

somebody get this guy some raw eggs and hotsauce??

wow hes drunk enough to be close to vomiting? he’s not acting hungover so I'm assuming that he’s been drinking up till now. and simon was last with him, so...

yeah I'm blaming simon for this

-

“ive known athena longer than ive known bucky”

“ive frequented his soba restaurant”

contradiction! simon was in jail up until very recently, and knew Athena for a very short period of time during her childhood. unless he met Bucky right after taking care of athena, it’s not possible that he’s known her longer. that or i guess he could just walk right out of jail to get noodles.

-

“meat slapped between slabs of bread...”

oh no ya dont, translation team. you made your burger bed, now you have to lie in it. no mocking the joke now.

-

quit being so tsundere simon. and yes I'm giving you the luxury of being tsundere and not just an asshole who’d prefer the company of men he once tried to cut to ribbons just because Athena’s a girl. because I'm in a good mood today!

-

a) scariest ringtone to date

b) he runs that place alone?? sucks to be buck

-

please stop doing the vomit animation its making me uncomfortable 

-

“this is no time for idle chatter”

oh simon, you obviously dont know what a chekov’s... um, conversation is.

-

wow so not only are we starting in the court room, but Sadmad said his prayers already. This is shaping up to be a rushed case.

...because obviously this is just filler before we get back to the Oh-So Delightful Adventures in Lawyer Land

-

edgeworth called him back for this case?? ...why???

-

Sadmad: I could be less horrible now that I owe the WAA a favourOR I could threaten to send a young lady to hell for just doing her job!!!! GO SADMAD, GO SADMAD

-

...dont call her a spring chick.

-

wait wait MAY 12TH?!

They just finished Maya’s trial and Edgeworth hauls Sadmad back to America over night?? How the fuck does Sadmad think he’s more prepared than us?? He had about the same amount of time to prepare!

-

I’ve got a good feeling about this case

-

Sadmad just let that poor butterfly rest jfc the aesthetic isn't that important 

-

“this guy stole the deed to this other guys shop, so other guy KILLED HIM to get it back”

yes, brilliant deduction, not an overreaction at all

-

Sadmad, you literally got back here at like 1 am last night. Go fuck yourself and leave Athena alone.

-

So Apollo’s a  red pepper, Athena’s an egg yolk... But there aren’t any blue foods, so Phoenix is just stuck being called ‘putrid’ in general.

Anyway cut Athena some slack. She’s already progressed far beyond having a breakdown in court because someone talked over her. 

-

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR SIMON BLACKQUILL,

-

“Simon!! You didnt tell me you were taking the stand!!!”

“There wasn’t time...”

no time at all during that 5 minutes you spent in the lobby. But I'm laughin’ so I’m not judging. Also I missed that theme...

-

AW  YIS

THROW DOWN SIMON

he’s the lesser of two evils this time; I'm ready to back him up! Simon in the blue corner, ding ding!!!!

-

half-awake sadmad looks up “rakugo” on wikipedia at 3 am

“yeah that should do it”

...and memorizes the whole article apparently

(coughmartystucough)

-

Sadmad: No wasting time!! This soul must get to the afterlife post-haste! You’re all putrid lumps of fecal matter for putting off the last ri–– wait, an opportunity to gloat?! Hold onto your hats, baby! The next twenty minutes are mine!!!

-

(weeps) thank you Athena

-

simon will remember this (you blackguard)

-

sexy pan up shot for–– oh, it really is a “sexy” pan up shot this time

except for those... soulless eyes...

-

aw nuts she has that drone-y X people theme. 

-

OH GOD 

OH GOD YOUR BOOBS

THAT WOULD HURT SO FUCKING MUCH

IM CLUTCHING MY CHEST JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

but I'm also chortling at the booby jokes teehee

-

“Never show sadness! Smile, smile, smile! With a twisty-twist-twist!”

Hey, it’s the new motto of ace attorney! Your self worth is based solely on how well you can cover up your less palatable feelings! Yaaaay!!

...also I’m calling it now, she did it.

-

i think her balloons are pretty impressive, athena

-

420 WE GOT ONE FOLKS

-

“Sad Monk Sadmahdi”

simon, youre gaining brownie points fast

-

Lang Zi says... Oh, uh I mean, the Kooraheenist Bible says......

-

“I’m checking in with the big tough old man prosecutor because i underestimate this small, young, female defence attorney”

I'm getting flashbacks to Turnabout Beginnings. and not good ones. 

You kick it, girl. tell them off.

-

nice! the judge is on our side!

-

why did she mention the dog barking a lot if it was only because he was hungry?

-

that is one hongry dog

something about the dog just burying the rest of the food is making me laugh

-

oh so that was important eh

hmm

-

has athena always done this double-slam thing, or is this new?

-

Athena: Witness, I think you might’ve been lying a little bit 

Sadmad: Vile hitler-satan, I cast you down to hell for your debauchery, how dare you insinuate that this case has more to it than what is readily viewable on the surface? Tsk tsk, so inexperienced, so putrid, 

-

“What? The gallery doesn’t get a say in this!”

They’re not a jury, you know!!!

-

“Why is the whole gallery siding with prosecutor sadmadhi?”

it’s because he’s hot, athena. thats the only reason anybody likes him.

-

tbh I'm actually pretty proud of Athena

same time last year Sadmad would have put her in a panic-stupor. but not today. Kudos on working that out, kiddo. You’re moving up!

-

...wait a minute

“with a little push, you could succumb to despair”

>despair

does Sadmad know? Does he know about her PTSD? If so... He’s deliberately TRYING TO TRIGGER HER SO THAT HE CAN WIN THE CASE?!

WHAT THE FUCK

-

oh boy!! OH BOY!! a dying message!!! THOSE ARE FOOL PROOF, AS PROVED BY EVERY SINGLE CASE IN THIS SERIES TO CONTAIN ONE!!

-

“That makes perfect sense, doesn't it!”

Yes... the man who suffocated to death somehow had time to leave a clue to his killer...

...you do realize that to be suffocated, the killer has to be there the whole time, right? if there’s nothing in his lungs and no trace of poison in his stomach, then it has to have been manual suffocation, either by strangulation (though we have yet to hear about any marks on his neck) or by covering his mouth and nose. 

so youre implying that rather than fighting back, the old coot rearranged a bunch of playing cards... in plain view of his aggressor

yet again, Sadmad makes a brilliant fool proof deduction.

-

ohhh my god he’s still trying to do it. HE’S STILL TRYING TO TRIGGER HER. I SWEAR TO FUCK, he’s been tolerable–– very thinly tolerable up until now. But this is just disgusting. This is brazen, malicious cheating. I don’t care if he turns out to be jesus himself when the inevitable “urhurhur he was good all along!!” twist shows up; I’m not forgetting this.

-

Damnit , Athena, don’t fucking listen to him. Don’t listen to a word he fuckin says.

Man I’ve never been so happy to see Simon. Little bit of the pot-calling-the-kettle-black here since Simon’s MO is to threaten and manipulate–– err, ah, use psychology!! to influence people, but I hate Sadmad so much that I don’t care.

-

“To think, you were so easily manipulated by his parlour tricks...”

Watch it, Simon. You’re the lesser of two evils this time, but that doesn’t exempt you from criticism. As a psychologist, you should know WHY it worked so well on Athena and you should be SENSITIVE about it. 

You’re cleared of all charges, remember?? You don’t have to pretend to be a douchebag to keep up your ill-thought-out plan anymore.

-

“I’m not girding up anything in this skirt!”

well i just don't know what to say to that

-

Oh boy here comes Uendo.

Everyone seems to love him so I’m hoping he’ll be a reprieve from Sadmad’s......... everything 

-

Sexy pan up shot of... a guy on a bunch of flower bags. With his own theme song!

-

so far I'm loving his animations and I'm always a slut for shitty puns!!

let’s see... blush stickers for the goofy one, hair forwards and eyeshadow for the lady. Clever little things that make each one of his characters different. He's definitely a fun character so far!

-

ah I'm really enjoying his dialogue 

ill bet the translators had a ball with this

-

won't you PLEASE laugh at my PUN!!!

its ok uendy, i thought it was good.

-

“Silence is more precious than diamonds”, eh?

I can definitely see which Sadmad values more...

-

ooh a spit take! not since godot have we been blessed... also i notice they've dialled up the rock guitar in Athena’s theme. Personally don’t see it as an improvement but eh

-

“yes, making it look like the man drowned was obviously because the culprit hated him and wanted to desecrate his corpse instead of getting the fuck out of there quicker like any killer would”

not to make it look like 

he’d drowned in the bowl

to throw off the police.

of course not; that’d be too obvious.

another win for the great Sadlock Madholmes.

-

wait did Sadmad just say Objection?? I thought he didnt do that

also; duel of the growly voices

-

prosecutor sad monk. simon’s still a dick but at least his dickishness spreads to  people i dont like :3

-

ooh i love it when i can rearrange physical pictures

-

“you can put the cards back in their right place but if you cant explain them then youre fucked”

ever thought that maybe theyre irrelevant to the case and theyre just... cards?? sadmad??

i mean i know theyre not but they could easily have just been on the table when the murder happened. they could stand for absolutely nothing.

-

ahh... the sweet refreshing scent of common sense. you redeem yourself step by step, simon. i mean, when youre not being a dick about it.

-

“don’t testify.”

franziska tried this once. it was for an evil scheme. i dont want to have to threaten another witness with revealing a dark secret; that was depressing.

but at least we know meanwhile that Sadmad isn’t above dirty shit like shutting up a witness. .......not that we didnt know that before.......

-

“Are you trying to taunt him into talking? Such a petty trick will never work”

POT.

CALLING.

THE KETTLE.

JET BLACK, SADFUCK.

-

simon’s lucky he’s surrounded by idiots and people with poor impulse control, otherwise his “mind tricks” wouldn’t do shit

“to be turned by such an obvious ploy... what a man of weak spirit.”

for once, Sadmad, I gotta agree.

-

its time for 

Artistic!

License!

Psychologyyyyyyyyy!!!!

-

sadmad doesn't get his way: my god will smite you later :(((((

-

now that we’ve worn this non-joke out...

-

“seeing my master asleep just made me so fuckin sad...”

-

i love that anger has such a distinctive ping sound

-

please do not call your toe that

-

“You gotta fuss over every tiny detail like this?” yes, Uendo. That’s why I’m writing these !!

-

that box of buns keeps drawing my attention. i love buns

-

Simon, you could try using some positive reinforcement. Mia wasn’t soft on Phoenix, but she encouraged him to think and puzzle things out for himself; she didn’t just call him an idiot. All the time.

-

“as sharp as a trout”

what the fuck

-

“so thats how it works ! fascinating!”

its not like i spent a lot of time working under the woman who invented said matrix!

-

its kinda sad that Athena’s never seen multiple emotions in high dudgeon 

she must hang out with a lot of mild mannered people 

-

athena: ive just proved these words mean something detrimental to the witness

sadmad: erm but they mean nothing to me therefor they warrant no further investigation.

???

i stg most of Nahyuta’s “”””counter argumnets”””” are legitimately just him trying to disparage the obvious contradiction away.

-

again athena seems unable to believe that people can only feel one intense emotion at a time

should i be worried

-

silly AA, that’s not how DID works!

oh well, at least Uendo is the fun kind of DID, unlike other... side-splittingly shameful characters I could mention...

-

Pohlfuckya indeed sadmad

-

ROLE CALL

-

“You seem proud of yourself, but all youve done is infringe on the privacy of the witness”

(sweats) i hate it when Sadmad makes good points

-

its not really dissociative if you dont... um... dissociate.

-

Sadmad: let it go and––

Athena: Shut up!!

Sadmad: Let it g––

Athena: Sssh!!!

Sadmad: le––

Athena: SJSJSJSJ

-

“if words will not sway you, perhaps pain will”

eject

him

-

i dont... like that... the beads are around her torso.......

-

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE FUCKIN CUT THEM IN MID AIR

that deserves a fucking cutscene all on its own. its like the time Lang caught Franziska’s whip only cool and not bulshitty

...also you coulda maybe done that a lil earlier simon lol

-

“I dont give two flips”

all his flips have flown the coop

-

“but if Cykes dono were to submit to you here...”

DO NOT 

USE THE WORD SUBMIT

WHEN PRAYER BEAD BONDAGE IS INVOLVED

-

fuck you sadmad, not everyone has magic gary-stu powers that let them memorize everything about a single subject in one night.

-

once again sadmad wastes precious time and diamonds showing off

-

after this lengthy, lengthy, leeeeeengthy detour............ wouldyouliketoaddthisstatementtothetestimony?

-

“you look like a hen with a dozen eggs to say”

you can just say “constipated” and it'll be less creepy, simon

-

how could they... not tell... oh who cares

-

“we’ve got you by the stones now, Uendo!”

DAMN the TESTICLE references in this game!!!

-

“heres a big plot twist that i just convenientlyforgottomention urhurhurhr..”

spoken like a true prosecutor 

-

there was such a long pause there i thought he was building up to a pun

but of course he wasnt. sadmad isn't cool at all

-

heheh i just noticed that Bucky has hair noodles, just like Mr. Eldoon (tho Bucky’s dont appear to be a wig)

also its... very distressing to have a drunk client.

-

y’know i just realized

Sadmad is always talking about sending souls to the twilight realm in the proper way. but he's an international prosecutor. he’s probably prosecuted victims of all religious alignments.

isn't it kind of disrespectful to perform your religion’s funeral rites on someone who doesn’t practice it???

-

again, BK is only successful because Uendo is a moron

to be fair though, that was one of his better ones.

-

“You were leading the witness!”

I...

Just, fuckin’. Please stop making good points, sadmad. I don’t want to be enraged with you, I want to be enraged AT You!!

...well i mean I don’t want to but i hate it when you bring up excellent points.

-

anyway why doesn't sadmad want them to find Owen anyway. if it comes to nothing, who cares? can you just not stand having people who aren’t you waste time??

-

again... DID doesn’t work like that........

-

macbeth, starring athena cykes and simon blackquill

-

hey i jusT REALIZED WHERE’S TAKA

-

thats,,, reallllllyy not how DID works,,,,,,,,,,,,,

-

highfalutin’

-

“if you see one, there are likely thirty in your home’

thirty what

WTHIRTY WHAT

-

look if you knew how DID is supposed to work you'd probably have a good hypothesis by now. not an... ethical one to implement, but a working one.

-

i guess Uendo just never sleeps then, because apparently falling unconscious calls out another personality.

...brilliant.

-

Simon: STOP BEING SO NERVOUS. IS MY NAGGING AND DISAPPOINTMENT SOOTHING YOU???? IS IT?????!!!!

-

the time honoured tradition of turning a slip of paper over... truly, this is an Ace Attorney game 

-

dude.... if you conk out from the trace amounts of alcohol in a bun, you should maybe visit a doctor possibly 

-

“hmm, yes, i will allow you to render this man unconscious from alcohol.”

classic judge!!

-

au where blackqyil is a very angsty delivery boy

-

BABY

THERE HE IS

MY PRECIOUS BIRD

I WAS SO SCARED SOEMTHING HAD HAPPENED TO YOU

-

...that bird is going to fly into a shop, terrorize the workers, steal bean buns and (hopefully) drop a twenty on the counter as he flies the coop

awesome 

-

phew that was a long court... but wait if this is a half-episode (which it probably is) and it started on a court day...

no investigation?! RIP OFF

-

gonna cut this one off here. till next time...

[intrepids-stuff]

My attempt at getting an idea for a set of scenes down while also seeing what I could do if I did this in a semi-comic style. I don’t think it came out too badly (Though I wish I hadn’t done Owl’s beastly entrance right under Nnoitra. Cons of coming back from the digital to traditional I suppose.)

Anyway, I had this idea inspired by Owl’s rp interactions with my friend’s Nnoitra & Tesla rp accounts, (the ones I drew previously), about if Owl had left (for whatever reason) for an unspecified amount of time and came back with his apprentice (the person in the ornate mask). Nnoitra finds his apprentice via the scent/feel of the energy on their clothes (bc their clothes were made and augmented by Owl to protect them from hollow attacks -specifically Ceros).

Now, in this kind of au/ua-ish scenario where Owl was a fraccion of Nnoitra’s, but Nnoitra doesn’t know Owl’s alive and thinks this little cretin has been pilfering Owl’s old hideout. So he starts interrogating the apprentice as to where they got the stuff (fully intending on killing them once or before they answered), only to be surprised when they call for “Master Owl’s” help. Hearing them, Owl halting his search for what he went there for, and immediate return to camp in his most ferocious form he has - his beastial hollow form.

Now, Nnoitra’s seen Owl in this form due to his body constantly reverting to a lower state due to the state of his soul, so he knows EXACTLY who the big feather beast is, and is in just as much shock as Owl is when he sees him. (Owl’s soul was literally ripped in half while he was in Karakura Town, resulting in him dying and becoming a hollow. It works something like how Neliel turned into a child when her mask was cracked but was able to turn back into herself when she’d built up enough energy. However at this point, he’s gotten the other half of his soul back and is functioning at full capacity.)

Thus we have the stand off of Owl being shocked and almost relieved to tears that Nnoi’s alive, and Nnoi being murderously ticked off that Owl would even dare come back to Hueco Mundo after ditching him and Tesla. (Granted the situation prior to his departure, left him believing Nnoi and Tes were actually dead so it’s kind of justified.) 

Now, I’m definitely going to be doing a part 2 & 3 to this, possibly more bc this is just too delicious. Though I may need help from my friend with Nnoi & Tes’s dialogues to get a feel for the kinds of facial/physical reaction they’d display. (though I’m pt sure Nnoi’s first action will be to lash out at Owl, so yaaaay! Upcoming battle practice!)

In the meantime, I’m rly enjoying this!

[quonit-aceattorney]

1-3 Reaction

Rules:

Q = Me, Quonit.

BF = Bardic Feline, the friend that made me spend 30 dollars on the game and whom I am messaging

I don’t use those when I send the messages close enough my username doesn’t appear.

Any typos (unless they are funny and part of the conversation) will be fixed.

Index

—

BF: are you still on case 2?

Q: nope 3, the samurai dude.

Me: Okay so he was sleeping during the time of dead. the producer was telling everyone where to move and what to do and later told everybody not to tell anyone. It could've been their fualt.

:nobody in game thinks this:

Me: Am I dumb or are all of you

I keep going to that place but I can't go get the key or whatever because first penny was blocking it and now oldbag is. Better go to every other place I can and examine and talk to everything before I can.

(edgy-boy)

oooo i found somebody :o

Q: yaaaaay time moved forward. Probably the 3rd grader mentioned earlier.

Q: YAY I FINALLY GOT THE KEY

now to wait until I get stuck again

BF: hahah yeah, I've played through that case multiple times and I STILL sometimes get a bit lost in the investigation phase

Q: yay I'm not alone!

BF: there's that one thing were you have to do a trading card exchange between multiple characters that can get a bit fetch questy

I still love that case so much though

Will is such a sweetheart!

I like to imagine him and Juan being friends.

Q: I haven't met him yet, I'll tell you my thoughts on him when I find him

BF: Will is the client of the case. :O

Will Powers, the Steel Samurai!

Q: oh ya!

BF: the big scary lion looking dude who's actually a big softie

he's a recurring character even hahah

Q: I like that guy. I disliked it when the first thing Maya said about him is "he looks like he's definitely killed people before". How dare she. I knew right form the start he was innocent.

yaaaay he appears more :D

BF: lol she changes her tune fast

but yeah...I have some speculations about how the victim of this case is connected to Juan, but I'll tell you about that later

Q: She does at least, I am still mad at her though haha

and phoenix, he also still seems suspicious of him.

ahhhhh juan is in the game

not even enough to get colored

BF: WELL it's a very very LOSE connection.

To be fair, the creator hadn't even conceived of 2-4 when he made this case, and it's a detail I had to really search around to find

it's more like a connection between one of Jack Hammer's old movies and Juan's show.

Q: hehe

oh ya I forgot Juan has one huh

fanthoeries!

Does Juan do anything more in the anime? I heard he got colored

BF: he got an official color for his jacket, and you get a few more full body shots of him that you get in the game

it's not much, but considering what we had before. :/

Q: aww oh well

JUST LEAVE IT TO THE FANS THEY ENJOY IT

Q: "Some people take their jobs a little too seriously" says the lawyer.

should I comment while I play or would that just be annoying

BF: nah, keep going! I actually like getting people's live reactions to games I've played before

Q: yaaaay :D

I just had to stop, pause the game, and sit a minuet after he said that.

"YOU'RE A LAWYER, IF ANYBODY SHOULD BE TAKING THEIR JOB 'TOO SERIOUSLY' IT'S YOU"

Q: Penny just tell please I don't wanna wander around for another 30 mineuts looking for a lead

oh yay penny may have the ultra (really super?) (some stupid namde) card

yaaaay

why not fucking trade! this is a spare card the kid doesn't want and she has the card we need to get him to talk!

Q: thought i'd have to look a lot more... guess not

HEY KID I GOT YOUR DAMN CARD

BF: Oh Cody...just gotta keep reminding yourself that he's too young to know any better

HE'S NOT OBSTRUCTING JUSTICE ON PURPOSE

Q: "WHO WAS THE PERSON WHO KILLED THE GUY IN THE VILAN SUIT? NOT THE NAME OF THE CHARACTER HE WAS DRESSED AS BUT WHO THE GUY WEARING THE SUIT WAS."

Q: hehe, the last option is the worst... I'll probably have to say fighting because that is probably what the kid would want most is an answer

yaaaay Cody likes me

See if this was made today Cody would have a phone instead of a camera

People give stuff to mia because she never wears any fucking clothes. YOU'RE IN YOUR SISTERS BODY, GIVE IT SOME RESPECT.

BF: hahaha

BF: TO BE FAIR, IT'S NOT LIKE MAYA RUNS AROUND WITH A LARGER SET OF ROBES FOR WHEN SHE WANTS TO CHANNEL HER SISTER

Poor Mia...she's honestly a great character, but no getting around the fact that she's a walking boob joke

Q: Least she isn't as bad at the April May character

BF: I don't think there's anyone in the original trilogy as bad as April

Q: man what if Cody actually pulled out his sword and stabbed gumshoe

BF: couple of ladies in the spinoff games starring Edgeworth who can rival her

yikes! poor Gumshoe!

Q: none of that guys name is good. He should get a nickname.

Edgy-boy

"Dick Gumshoe". He doesn't like being called 'dick' and gumshoe is just not really a good name.

Q: WHY IS EVERYBODY STILL SO SUSPICIOUS OF WILL

ALL THE KID SAID IS THAT HE SAW THE GUY IN THE COSTUME KILL THE GUY WITH THE SPEAR.

THIS CHANGES NOTHING

Q: yaaay savepoint

**BF: hahah YOU'LL FIND THAT ARGUMENT COME UP A FEW TIMES IN THESE GAMES And I'm not gonna like it is annoying **

'yeah I totally saw them! From the back!"

"I saw them there! I recognized them by their full body, figure concealing, face covering costume! it was them alright"

"what do you mean, of course no one else could have worn that outfit"

hahah there's one character in the spinoff games who calls him Gummy

Q: hehehe

Well Gummy is better then being called dick or dumshoe so

Q: "we're going into this trial utterly defenseless" NO WE'RE NOT MIA >:(

yaaay finally trial time :D

I really like the trials I finally actually get to do something

Q: hehe the guy is scared of Edgy-boy

that name will stick with me till the end of time I swear

BF: hahah yeah investigation time is your getting evidence period and such

but the trials are where you make it happen~

Q: yaaay

this guy condridicts himself so much why

Q: "Haven't we had enough of this pointless line of questioning???"

NO EDGEWORTH

WE HAVE NOT

They couldn't have gone to studio one because a tree was blocking it...

:(

Pheonix why are you so upset YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS

Q: THE THIRD GRADER IS PART OF THE TRIAL???

Great. time for a break where everybody tells me how hopeless it it even though it isn't

BF: hahah yesss the BADGER THE CHILD

Q: LET US DO SO >:D LET THE BADGERING COMMENCE!

hehe he's too short for the stand. Are they gonna give him a step stool or something

yep

BF: the creator's logic for including Cody like this:  a child would have a different reason to lie than an adult would, and he wanted to explore that. :3

tee hee

poor tiny cody

I love that you can see the box in the distance shots

Q: I do not feel for him. The adults should phrase it differently, I'll rephrase questions as we go for fun.

hehe i wanna see the box

2nd????

he's 7???

BF: I think he's supposed to be 11?

Q: but then he's be in 5th or 6th

BF: though that seems a bit old to think that superheroes are real

Q: so he's either 7 or 8... imma go with 8

BF: you can check his profile and get his in-game age haha

Q: alright imma do that

7

he's 7

BF: dang, younger than I recalled

Q: we already have is book why do we need the camera

BF: okay, so maybe not TOO old to believe superheroes are real, but a super young to be running around unsupervised like that

BF: mayhaps the camera contains some photos the book does not. 83

THE GAME RARELY GIVES YOU EVIDENCE YOU HAVE NO USE FOR

Q: wonder if his parents know about the trial

Mom: Hi honey! Where were you today?

Cody: I snuck into a building I wasn’t allowed in and went to court as a witness for murder! It was so cool!

yaaay

the guy in the flashback is wearing a mask

why did they let him bring his sword

BF: hee hee...this is one place where I have to credit the anime adaptation. in the anime version of this case, Phoenix questions Cody at the studio, and no one forces him to take the stand.

Q: hey if he went through there so could the adults

yaaay

good anime

this is a murder trial kid

Q: he's dead

Q: hmmmm

I mean the picture could be of use, but the only time I really present is when there is a contridiction

Q: ...should I try it? I don't think I'll get anywhere if I don't

ill look at what i have again

Q: "still learing how to use camera"

maybe he did have it he just didn't take a picture

Q: http://imperfectapollo.tumblr.com/post/172111532663/ananxiousraccoon-ananxiousraccoon

BF: remember: when in doubt, you CAN take a few hits to your damage meter without getting a game-over

and if you are REALLY  REALLY In doubt, you can save your game before making a decision

Q: :(

fine I'll try it out

ooooo

BF: some of the penalty dialogue is funny enough to be worth the damage to your health meter hahah

Q: I've only gotten two so far, funny but disappointing still

Q: :D

I was too scared about my first idea so I use my second one: Are you sure you didn't take a picture? I have your camera

hehe the box

BF: hahah you should try to prove why he WOULD take a photo

Q: yaaay

because it's every battle he's won

BF: yep! And the samurai always wins!

Or DOES HE

Q: DUN DUN DUN

Q: he isn't mentioning the spear he didn't watch it but i don't know why

BF: Well, think back

what did he say about his camera?

Also we know he couldn't have used the spear for an important reason that came up ages ago

Q: yaaay i was right he was trying to photograph it but couldn't because it isn't working

BF: or more to the point he couldn't get it to work fast enough!

still learning how to use iiiiiit~

Q: yaaaay

BF: So he looked down to fiddle with the camera, and looked up to see? 83

Q: See mia what this boy says means nooooootttttthhhiiiiiiiing.

:D

Q: moving strangely either from ankle or the person wasn't used to wearing the costume

Q: how dare you erase the pictures

honestly he would not have though, he would want to keep them and put them in his scrapbook

Q: SEE I WAS RIGHT

Q: what truth???

what am i supposed to be thinking???"

only reasonable one is he didn't win _ DUN DUN DUN_

Q: aww :(

BF: YOU GOT IT. :(

which raises one very very sad possibility about the fight...

Q: oh dam

who is the victim? the guy wearing the villan outfit, right? they taped around his helmet

BF: yeah, Jack, the guy who plays the villain character

Q: and hammer wasn't there, he was sleeping wait no

not hammer his name is will

who is hammer???

BF: No, Will Powers was sleeping

Jack Hammer, tee hee

Jack Hammer was the vicitm

and he WASN'T sleeping...

Q: :o everyone in the court is confused

BF: hahah cause you just hecked up the timeline! :D

Q: i like how during the rest of the trial the kid just sat there and quietly watched

it's just a funny idea to bme, thinking about what he thought about

Q: the sky is clear how can you be watching it

Q: 5 years ago what I'm pretty sure happened is that the guy accidentally killed another guy and then the girl covered it up and i think it's blackmail not and that is why from now on the other guy didn't work for big studios anymore

names, too tiered to memember

(I beat the case but didn’t record it)

[ghoultyrant]

Dawn of War II

At one point I watched a Let’s Play covering Dawn of War II, starting from the base game, going through Chaos Rising, and then doing the Marine campaign in Retribution. The excruciating stupidity on display lead me to A: decide I didn’t want to buy the game, even though I love the original Dawn of War, and B: write the following semi-coherent ravings of a madman.

They are slightly edited for comprehension and I made a little to clarify what any given thing is alluding to, but not much. I had vague notions of posting this to Vigaroe once upon a time, but it really doesn’t fit the tone I’m trying to maintain on that site. Tumblr, meanwhile, I’m perfectly happy to dump things that may or may not be insightful or entertaining and move on with my life.

Here we go.

-----

Broadly: Let's take steps to scale down the player's troop count, and still end up with hundreds of Space Marines dead before the end of the campaign. Also broadly, let's have our special snowflake characters have squads (66% of them, anyway) but have the special snowflake character be the only one that counts: not only do your battlebrothers sensibly wearing helmets not count against your score at the end of the mission for dying, but if the special snowflake moron dies his goons instantly die too. I thought we were fighting against the Tyranids, not as the Tyranids? The score mechanic in general, as well as secondary objectives in general. They don't commit to the score mechanic as mattering, and secondary objectives seem absolutely worthless. In Dawn of War 1, secondary objectives were more like advisories: here's something you might want to deal with, but it isn't mission failure if you ignore it, hope you appreciate the heads-up. In II, they seem to be plotty things with no functionality and not much plot either, present because?... Also: WHY BRING BACK ANGELOS WITH THE WRONG VOICE? (fixed for Chaos Rising, to be fair) I'm a character narrating at another character completely unironically. The Tyranids are MYSTERIOUS AND DANGEROUS OOOOOHHHHH. I AM THE BOX GHOST! BEWARE!

(It’s a constant thing with the game to treat the Tyranids as mysterious and much more scary than anything else in the 40k setting. It falls flat, in spite of the heroic efforts on the voice actors’ parts)

HEY BOSSMEN SPACE MARINES FUCK YOU YOU AREN'T THE BOSS OF US EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE AND WE AREN'T FILTHY HERETICS GO RUN SOME ERRANDS FOR US AND WE MIGHT MAYBE IF YOU SAY PLEASE DO AS YOU ASK. (Derosa’s initial interaction is idiotic) SCALE? WHAT'S THAT? TINY RAIDS BY A FEW HUNDRED GUYS CAN TOTALLY COMPROMISE AN ENTIRE PLANET'S SECURITY. AND NOT BY SECURING A LANDING ZONE OR WHATEVER. (What, exactly, are the Eldar supposed to be doing here?) Psionically gifted individuals. Because we aren't Blizzard fanboyz or NUFFIN. PSYCHIC GODDAMMIT. PSYCHICALLY GIFTED INDIVIDUALS. Furthermore, 40k is a setting in which psychic powers make you a reviled pariah who counts themself LUCKY to be treated as a subhuman tool. IT'S NOT A GIFT.

(Maybe ‘psionic’ has become the 40k default term since I wrote this back in like 2013. I stand by it anyway)

Naturally, It's A Girl Who Doesn't Do As Told was ENTIRELY to then bitchslap her for being bitchy. Admitting her error just leads to her begging you help them anyway, rather than assuring you that Angel Forge will be accessable to you since your need clearly is urgent. In other words, the entire sequence is mental masturbation with a very tiny helping of plot. Yaaaay.

(Still Derosa, only now I’ve shifted from hating her to hating the writer) Angel Gate fails in open mode! Because everyone knows all devices automatically stop doing what they're designed for if denied a continuous supply of electricity! Rather than ceasing moving. Like in real life. Incidentally, how does a GATE protect a PLANET?

(Angel’s Gate is retarded. And not the 40k funny/grimdark retarded, but “does anyone on this team understand anything?”) The Eldar are trying to blow up the subsector's planets to SOMEHOW stop the Hivefleet from... going towards the Craftworld. Not, like, weaken them, or something. Somehow the writer thinks this should redirect them from Ulthwe, instead of HURRYING THEM ALONG.

(This is dumb) WHERE ARE THE BLOOD RAVENS GETTING THEIR INFORMATION. SERIOUSLY.

(Once you’re more than halfway through the game, people just... know things, without any greater explanation than ‘scouts report things they can’t possibly know’) Hey, Force Commander, let's monologue at you why you're here AT THE END OF THE GAME AS PART OF AN OPTIONAL SCENE.

(Yes, you only learn at the end of the game why your avatar is in Sector Aurelia. What?) Derp final mission derp stupidly designed uberbosses in general. Also, thinking the Avatar of Khaine can burn down an entire world, and also EFFORT: THE GAME in terms of... rampaging godmonster patiently waiting in an arena to be killed. Yay.

(I boggle every time I remember this) Chaos Rising PLANET AURELIA IN SUBSECTOR AURELIA. What, is it capital Aurelia on continent Aurelia in hemisphere Aurelia?

(Real life can be like this. There’s still a reason for the One Steve Limit) Personal drop pods because reasons except Cyrus with Commander Hairgel because reasons on the first mission. (No explanation is provided for this) Traitor Guard calling the position, rather than the time or just saying "THEY'RE IN POSITION OPEN FIRE!"

(They’re scripted to only fire on a handful of locations on the map. Come on, writer, help me suspend my disbelief) EVERYTHING IS BUILT INSTANTLY. EVERYTHING. FORGET THAT THIS GAME HAS NO BASEBUILDING MECHANICS TO JUSTIFY THIS NONSENSE, BAD GUYS HAVE INSTANT CONSTRUCTION SPEED. In general, everything happens in implausibly short time periods: when did the traitor get to Aurelia before everyone else? How?

(Chaos Rising’s plot is slipshod nonsense from step one, and it never improves. If anything it gets worse) What is the point of bringing back Eliphas WITHOUT HIS VOICE ACTOR?

(I don’t get this. Bring back arguably the single most popular character from the original game, who was so amazing due to his voice, and then... don’t bring back the voice actor? I really hope they tried and failed to get the man, rather than just failing to realize the voice mattered) "Most notably, the Blood Ravens have-" OUR BATTLEBROTHERS YOU FUCKER. "I must tend to one of the generators, Spess Mahreens-" BROTHERS. To be entirely fair, he's the pure run traitor, BUT COME ON MARTELLUS. (Why does Martellus talk like he’s some outsider? Who thought this made sense?) Of COURSE bitchslapped Derosa is a pseudo-love interest. OF COURSE. (I’m sorry, creepy writer, but this is fucked up in addition to being stupid nonsense. Why are you even writing a Space Marine having a romantic interest? And why does treating a woman like shit act as a vital part of your courtship ritual?) Some Corruption-if-failed-to-deploy missions are vaguely plausible. Sure, Thaddeus hates your guts forever and goes EEEEVVVILLL if you don't let him protect the home he so dearly loves. But Tarkus corrupting for not punching Eldar is dumb and Jonah corrupting for not going on the Space Hulk is DUMBER. HE SHOULD CORRUPT FOR GOING ONTO THE SPACE HULK.

(Corruption is a cool idea. Missions Corrupting someone because they get super-pissed makes sense. Your Psyker Corrupting for failing to go into a Warp-infested horror show is such a basic fail I have no words and cannot imagine how this got conceived of, let alone made it into the final product) Really? Araghast and Eliphas are Bale and Sindri again? REALLY?

(I don’t mind re-doing a cool character dynamic, and Sindri and Bale were great. But Eliphas was more interesting than that. You don’t bring back a cool character so they can do that less-cool thing some other characters did!)

Ulkair is pretty much a Slaaneshi demon with a good laugh and the wrong body. Fuck.

(I liked that Dawn of War II tried to give Nurgle representation and Slaanesh representation, since the original game was basically all Tzeentch and Khorne. It was undercut by making our Greater Demon of Nurgle a straightforward sadist having nothing to do with Nurgle values. Either do the new thing and get it right, or go back to the old thing you were fine at doing. Don’t write the new thing the exact way you wrote the old thing and pretend it’s different) RETRIBUTION Tutorial still sucks, albeit with less narrating at each other. Khornate Noise Marines!

Khornate Noise Marines in Alpha Legion colors. Relic, what?

(It’s baffling how Relic has a clear grasp on most of the lore, up to and including some fairly esoteric stuff, and then they cram in nonsense anyone who’s only peripherally familiar with 40k could probably tell you is wrong) "This is the Ascendant, Azariah Kyras." This is the shitty dialogue, unnatural speech.

(That’s Kyras talking, if you hadn’t guessed) I realize Kyras is supposed to be crazy, but... really? Nihilism? Khornate let's-Tzeentchian-plot nihilism, at that?

(I’ve seen other people point out how it’s questionable to have a Khornate psyker eg in Winter Assault’s campaign, but I’m personally willing to let that pass because that’s one piece of canon that’s always seemed flawed to me. That doesn’t mean Kyras actually makes sense. He doesn’t. At any point) why does kyras tell you his weakness

(It’s like the writers have utter and total contempt for their player base. You couldn’t have one of our dudes take a guess that the demonic artifact of empowerment might, maybe, when destroyed, stop empowering him? Or even have Kyras do 5-year-old levels of cunning and try to pretend very hard that it’s not important? I mean the game wants us to think Kyras is Very Smart and then he tells you his weak point for no actual reason. The writing in Dawn of War II: bonkers to the very end)

[quonit-aceattorney]

1-5 Reaction

Rules:

Q = Me, Quonit.

BF = Bardic Feline, the friend that made me spend 30 dollars on the game and whom I am messaging

I don’t use those when I send the messages close enough my username doesn’t appear.

Any typos (unless they are funny and part of the conversation) will be fixed.

Index

—

Q: I'm doing the next one sorry for all of the messages

wow what was even that opening

what girl?

febuary 2017. I remember this month well.

Q: Who's this girl?

hey she looks like an adult! Second girl without her main feature being boobs :D

no mai is dead I took her spot though, she was in the tutorial level.

:D yay am I better

YES INDEED

yes phoenix please I like this girl a lot

i didn't know my name could also come with one m!!! My name is Emma, I had no idea people could also be named Ema with one m

aww so she isn't an adult I still like her though

phoenix please she's only like 10 years younger than you

BF: Hahahaha yeah, Ema is the Maya stand in for this case

BF: She returns for the fourth game, which takes place 7 years after the third game

BF: Still not very busty, even in her mid twenties haha

Q: :O Interesting!

I like Ema.

Q: What age of people did they think were gonna play this game? If kids then why does it seem they talk down to them so much?

I'll get back to playing

Q: oh so that beginning scene actually meant something

She's know Mia because she was kinda well known

okay why is she bad

how did she even get in teh office in the first place?

hahahaha no im not trading my badge for 50$

what do you mean ''yet''

Q: I LIKE LANA

HER OUTFIT IS GREAT

Q: it's obviously a coincidence that the two siblings are so alike, but if it motivates you then sure I wanna get to the second game

Q: you're telling it from the witness' perspective Lana. Do you remember what happened? What was your motivation?

Q: hi cowboy detective please don't kick me out

what

I AIN'T SCARED OF NO GUN LET ME EXAMINE

Q: why are we having this stepladder conversation again

Q: this office looks like Edgeworth

Q: maybe you wouldn't be low on money if you did your job

Q: five thousand???

MAN edgy must be rich!

BF: The stepladder debate is one of the running gags of the series haha

Q: interesting!

Q: that and Phoenix (and later Apollo and Athena) presenting his badge every chance he gets, and cross-examining non-human witnesses

Q: yaaaaay I liked cross-examining the parrot. 

I still can't believe they let me do that

Q: wait a second the bundle doesn't come with the fourth game just the first 3

oh well it's still a lot

Q: examining the examined. This could be useful.

Q: yeah, no, just the original trilogy

Q: alright, makes sense. Are they still making games for it?

BF: the fourth game came out well after the original trilogy ended, and it only JUST got an updated port to iOS and the 3DS e shop

Q: great an adult woman with a main feature being boobs. I liked the other ones more.

ah, alright. how good/bad is the anime I'm curious

BF: and yes!  in the main series, there are six games total...five and six only came out in digital form for the US, no physical release

don't focus so much on the boobs, it's just drive you crazy

and Angel really isn't THAT busty, she's just got a bust emphasizing outfit

Q: huh, alright. If I feel like it maybe I could get them.

fine. I'm not eating whatever she just handed to me though, she doesn't seem very trustworthy true I guess, not really as bad.

BF: she very much does that on purpose to put you off your guard, btw

she's not EVIL

but she's smart as hell, and she's not necessarily on your side right now.

Q: oh so it's intentional, alright that's more forgiving than the developers just wanted another boob-joke.

Q: angle please we're looking for evidence please stop freaking out Ema

Q: yaaaay edgy! I knew this was your office!

BF: hahaha yep

his office is as frilly as he is

Q: "this office looks like edgeworth"

why is there a dead body in your car that car looks too dirty to be yours it isn't even purple

BF: oh and to answer one of your comments from last night when I was asleep...Phoenix/Edgeworth is an overwhelmingly popular ship, to the point where it can become a bit annoying if you ship either of them with anyone else.

or if you like any of the rarer pairings, period hahah

Q: edgy we know you didn't do it I'm on your side and always will be

except when you're not on my side

With how his dialogue was set up in that chapter I am not surprised how much of the fandom ships it.

Q: Phoenix that was a very cruel joke, remember the case two months ago? Very cruel.

Q: gumshoe isn't dead lol must be mia's fualt he randomly appeared in my head, same with maya

Q: ya why do random flashes of random people keep appearing

how do i investigate this

BF: hah...if it's the bit I think it is, that's just Phoenix connecting him to the INCREDIBLY NEAT AND CLEAN OFFICE

BF: which Gumshoe totally takes times out of his day to keep tidy because that's just the kind of stuff he would do for Mr. Edgeworth, pal!

Q: Well I bet the lunchlady and edgeworth and I'm investigating while edge is in his office.

possibly but phoenix actually commented on "why did i just have ___ randomly appear in my head". whatever I'll keep looking

I guess!

BF: gumshoe just a big old loyal puppy who loves Edgey

lol no that's the reason hahah

Q: gumshoe!!

still needs a better name

Q: I need to copy paste my reaction in a place I'll be able to easily get to later because this will probably be very valuable to me later on.

(Edit: Fuck me for making me do this)

Q: edgy tell me what the trophy thing is

no mumbling

edgy you did good why are you being so defensive over the shield

Q: well the fact it's broken could be important so please tell us

Q: oh ya! I can examine the examined now :D

Q: well 5:12 and 5:15 are very close to each other so this is important that they are so precise

who's this cartoony cop!!! he doesn't look like he's drawn in the same style as everyone else in the game!

Q: noooo i want the report

Q: Edgeworth in the Wild: A Documentary

Q: YABADABADOO

Ema why

Q: huh, so apparently phoenix doesn't just teleport? man that must be so annoying when I don't know where I'm going for them

Q: blue badger looks like a pokemon that is why he seems familiar

Q: yaaay i found gumshoe

ema knows too much poor edgeworth indeed, I hope soon he can get a break

dance till you die

Q: "they make a good pair" so I guess this game isn't against gays, cool.

Q: well i mean the letter probably will get us somewhere if this game is going to progress

Q: oh so is Angel dating Marshal? What a turn of events

yaaaay i can get in now

...I just realized I can use headphones on a DS... Interesting....

Q: the music hahaha. Marshal theme song

Q: don't think too hard on cannibalism and you'll be fine

Q: Marshal is fun

BF: hee hee yeah, I like him.

Q: "well if phoenix showing his badge to everyone is a running joke guess I better help with that by showing it to everyone".

This case is pretty fun so far, not even a single irritating thing yet

BF: LIke Ema and Lana, Jake Marshall is actually deliberately made to be sort of a nod to another pre-existing character haha.

BF: and yeah, Rise from the Ashes is a good case!  I remember finding some of the trial segments to be tricky, but overall, it's solid

tQ: "Noe to self: when finding evidence, think of Texas"

who is this pre-existing character?

BF: and it makes good use of the new mechanics that were introduced for the DS

Q: it does!

BF: you won't meet him until the third game haha

but yeah...Ema and Lana are clearly meant to be nods to Maya and Mia

BF: Jake, less obviously, is sort of a nod to Godot

Q: and thankfully this gets Phoenix motivated again

godot... who's that? I should probably know

BF: Godot plays a MAJOR part in the third game, you'll know him the second you see him.

He...stands out.

to put it mildly.

Q: can't wait to meet him

when will the Y guy (shack guy DL-6) appear again he's already pretty interesting that's probably spoilers

BF: Yanni Yogi?  He only appears in that case, sadly.

though there's a background reference to him in one of the spinoff games.

BF: He's one of Zarla's faves

Q: I assumed... he seems pretty interesting, sad he had to leave so soon. As you saw I was REALLY shocked when a character zarla drew appeared that I didn't even know would be in the game... sad to see him leave so soon.

Q: forgot to talk with Marshall, maybe I can progress through this

oh yay the autopsy report

Q: tell me about yourself marshall, how long has your cowboy career been going on?

why would you kick out gumshoe!!!

D: I don't know if I should break the news to him or not

Q: well that isn't even an option so

the detention center doesn't even update ever

Q: uuuhhhhgggg I hate being stuck like this where can I goooo

Q: still stuck >:( It's been almost an hour

quonit

just let me gooooo

03/24/2018 (Two days later)

Q: FINALLY I DID SOMETHING there was a note in the trunk but it seemed to have done nothing... don't even know if the two people I can talk to would react to it.

as i suspected it did nothing >:(

I think the phone is the key but the only thing it will let me examine is the trap!!!

03/24/2018

Q: I asked my brother to help and he FINALLY HELPED

He found another scroll bar on the examination thing that I never noticed and found it :D

Q: no cowboy pls i really worked hard to get this far

Q: phoenix has a phone? how come we can never use it?

...what do i do with the phone?

how did my brother turn it

= and -... where are those buttons?

Q: going to my brother

Q: why not press the button again???

Q: where do i gooo

Q: i give up I need to draw

BF: hahaaha

BF: aaaah sorry I've been busy unpacking boxes

I wouldn't have even thought to tell you about those double screen investigation rooms!

there are like...at least two of those in this case.

the car park area and the evidence room

Oh, and because this took me FOREVER to figure out when I played it the first time: when you dust for finger prints, you blow the powder away by blowing into the mic on the DS

Q: I don't expect anybody to be on while I send messages. Do not worry, I do not expect responses immediately. Also packing boxes??? did you move :O

double screen investigation rooms? tell me more. If you mean ones where you have to move the screen I did do that a lot... and yet I still can't find much. I finally got the phone in my inventory and tried to check the last call but it still won't do anything THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT IN ADVANCE I GARENTEE I WOULD'VE GOTTEN STUCK

Q: Where I am si that I think I have all of the items in my inventory. A full page and then the phone on the next... am I missing something? I heard that Ema is supposed to tell me that I have everything I need

BF: aaah if you are in the car park, one place you need to check is the muffler of the car

Q: muffler? I got the paper that was in the back, I'll examine the car more I guess

BF: and yeah, the game usually gives you some hint when you've found all the things

BF: I forget if you can get it now or not, but there's some cloth shoved into the tailpipe of the car

Q: dont' think i can thanks though

I'll tell you what I have in my inventory and you tell me what I'm missing for the first part

Q:badge, id card, knife, shield trophy thing, parking stub, blue badge pannel, goddman's autopsy report, note from the back of the car, and cell phone

BF: hmmm....and you've shown absolutely everything to everyone and poked at everything on every available screen?

Q: yeeeesssss

:( I'll try again

BF: (oh and to answer your earlier question, yes, I did move into my house today)

Q: yaaaaay

shouldn't there be a wiki or something for this that says what to do

BF: if you are absolutely stuck, I'd look up the Games FAQ walktrough

Q: :(

why does this game make me so stuck all of the time

BF: https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ds/925589-phoenix-wright-ace-attorney/faqs/44304    here, this one is spoiler free, you just gotta get down to the right case

Q: :D thank youuuu

Q: :O HEY IT WORKED

HOW DID I NOT NOTICED THIS

Q: Lana why are you not on edgy's side

Q: of course you don't know everything going on here phoenix, if you did we would win but right now we don't win

this game but we know everything beforehand

Don't believe your client, just believe in them. got it.

Q: oh ya angle exists i forgot about her

BF: haha FIGURING OUT WHY LANA IS DOING WHAT SHE'S DOING IS A BIG PART OF THIS CASE

Q: BACK

I had to trim the grass in the front yard. We got an actual letter saying that we needed to so that was odd. It's done now though

angel will never stop talking, and Edge doesn't seem as annoyed as some of the others. huh.

oh my god judge can't you be a little more professional ARE YOU EVEN ALLOWED TO EAT RIGHT NOW

Q: you decline every offer phoenix until an impossible one pops up. Phoenix why

Q: If you hate prosecutors so much then maybe you could help me

please I'm begging

Q: wait you have more then one boyfriend

did i hear that wrong

ugh so she does

"care to join" If that is what I have to do to get information out of you!

BF: hahaha

yes, Angel and her many boyfriends

Q: Ema's notes are funny

BF: this boyfriend, that boyfriend, the other boyfriend

you know, as you do

Q: "the yet another boyfriend is still open"

I'd like to know who is who

Q: wait isn't B block for defense attorneys not visitors?

Q: how she names them reminds me of the chicken 'mine'

"That's mine, that one's also mine, that's another one of mine, that one is yours, and that one is not yours." we actually considered naming our chickens that haha

Q: Ema is learning my table-slamming technique.

Q: "my boyfriend worked in the photography division" WHICH boyfriend?

Q: "Prosecutors are, by nature, well-versed in the location of a man's vital organs" I already had to prove with twice Edgy did NOT murder anybody!

yes phoenix kill the egg

Q: okay so i learnt as much as I could while pressing, and there seems nothing wrong... I need to find the objection item

Q: THE LEFT-RIGHT HAND TRICK

ALWAYS WORKS

Q: EDGEWORTH

HOW COULD YOU SILENTLY SAY OBJECTION YOU HAVE BERTAYED ME

ALWAYS OBJECT

Q: of course it was planned! We already established whoever the killer is planned to do it in edgeworth's car

Q: "mommy, are prosecutors bad people?" hahaha oh my god

yes lets tell the audience how to commit murder

edgy that pun was terrible and you know it

Q: Ema what is that note

you can't smell his breath from over here what

I do have an objection!

Q: I'd like to know how she got into the food business

Ema you're on MY side

Q: remember?

Q: it's so rare when the thing I immediately think of and object with actually works and the characters see what i see

Edgy you look like you're on my side

Q: Ema do you hate me

Q: The person that seems most on my side in this case is f***ing edgeworth and he is actually the one pitted against me so you're all failures.

Q: >:(

I got so stuck at this part and had to retry a few times and I finally gave up and went to the tutorial and that isn't helping

FLOOR PLANS WHY DON'T YOU WORK

Q: :(

Q: Why can't I just gooooo none of the evidence I have works at all

Q: I PROGRESSED AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I PRESSED

UHHHH

Q: OHMYGOD THE FLOOR PLANS FINALLY WORKED

WHAT CHANGED

Q: she'd lie because as I said she has a grudge

Q: five minuets???

wow that's a long time

Q: if you have evidence please tell me

how was this judge hired

WHY THE SHOE WHY DO YOU HAVE HIS SHOE

what is this blood type it could also be common

Q: why does edgy continue to seem like he is on my side lol

Q: that brings in the question: how many lunches do you actually have in there

Q: if it does how come she was blee- oh ya the hand injury

Q: ohhh to wash away the bloood okaaaay

now to defeat you edgy

Q: Okay so more then one photo, I NEED MORE PHOTOS.

Q: Mia thank youuuuu

oooo the fun music started playing, im onto something

Q: "Yeah! (I'll think later" is the best line in the game

IT SUMS UP THE THOUGHT PROCESS WHEN I PLAY THE GAME

Q: Salmon swimming upstream in a river of quicksand

ya sounds like Phoenix

Q: the muffler in the muffler

Bad feeling about following advice given to you by Marshell??? What a silly thought!

Is something wrong edgy? why are you so upset?

what is bothing you Eedgy pls tell me

OH MY GOD ANOTHER SUPRISE CHARACTER HOW HOW IS HE IN ACE ATTOURNY WHAT ??????????????????????????????????????????????????

is he just gonna stand there or...?

Q: Udgey... that's a new one

afriad indeed, terrified I might say.

Wrighto... also new

Q: when i send my live reaction to the game should i have more context to what is going on

Q: rereading it i think i should

Q: I've been taking more pictures of art I wanna send you but it still isn't doing anything

Q: Alright so i opened the Ace Attorney save file and I have no idea where i am. I'm pretty sure this is right after the first trial

tiny village... where am i and why

i think this isn't my file??

BF: I was about to say...

Q: ruinion and turnabout?

what? something is wrong

BF: if you are in a tiny village, the only one I know of is Kurain. and you don't go there the first time until 2-2

yeah, you are in game 2 there

that's Maya's village.

Q: we fixed it!

My brother wanted to play and he mistook the game two save files as extra save files and he just decided "fuck it im not waiting for her to finish" and just started playing through

interesting :o

OH YA WE'RE TALKING WIT THIS GUY :D

swimming? why that specifically?

little worthy? is that a name?

DISTRICT OF THE POLICE UH NO I DON'T KNOW THIS GUY

aww so if he's number one he probably won't be on my side :(

damon gant, I like this guy

OH YA I forgot about edgeworth! Worthy haha didn't think of that nickname yet. I'll add it to the list. He must be very scared of this man

BF: hahah yesss Gant is great.

Q: so a muffler is a scarf? is that just another name for a scarf or is it a type of scarf?

he just keeps standing there and blinking

edgy back on this feet, finally stopped just sitting there silently in what I'm assuming is anger and fear

BF: it's a type of scarf. I can't tell you what exactly makes a muffler a muffler though. they just wanted to use the pun, though, I think

aaah the Gant stare.

Q: they seem to love naming puns, not just the people's names now.

"That's not fair!" There are a lot of things that aren't fair in this world, edgy.

Q: A WRITTEN APOLOGY

That kid from earlier in the audience: mommy is this how trials usually go? Mom: no. I am not even sure what is going on.

BF: hahah trust me, the pun names get more intense with each game.

Q: I feel bad for edgy haha

I can't wait

oh my god SOMEBODY JUST OPEN THE KNIFE

Q: THEY ADDED  A CLAPPING SOUND FOR HIM

I DID NOT EXPECT THIS

Q: ...the note may have something to do with this

but along with everything else i think of in this game it's probably wrong

nah okay

Q: time to look through my items another 20 minuets and hope the character see what I see

Q: when in doubt press on everything

Q: good job ema! I'll examine the knife!

Q: SL-2... something similar  that wasn't a tag. again was it the note

OH MY GOD IT WAS THE NOTE

Me and gant both love 'objection'. I'm still mad at Edgy for that. I will hold it against him forever.

BF: hahaha NEVER FORGIVE YOU EDGEWORTH

BF: you and your habit of updating the autopsy report

Q: "Do you have evidence?"

"yes! (I'll think later)" is still the best line in the entire game

a habit of mine? is that not something everybody does?

I feel so honored being told "I win, Wrighto!"

BF: heh

Q: :D He'll tell me about the knife now!!!

Q: I only get to hear bout one thing.... better choose wisely.

Where the victem was found could help, seems like it could work How the victim was killed could be a little more risky but all of these are pretty good When the victim died... it could also be 5:15, and I could find a way to show it was planned... but I'm not sure

there probably wont be any consequences though

I'll roll my di

Q: it's 1 so i guess we're going with that

Q: didn't we GO to the evidence room?

Q:

Gant: :long stare: Gant: You two make a great pair! I swear this is intentional. It's not even just that chapter.

Q:

Gant: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Gant: :long stare: Gant: Sure why not! well alright then! I'm learning about it unofficially :D This is already very casual so why not

Q: why is the victims gender there

that is unimportant WE WANT TO KNOW ABOUT HE MURDER

Q: Gumshoe won't die Phoenix he was in the credits!

Q: alright now not only is edgeworth being called worthy he's being called little worthy

do these two know eachother???

Q: that id is the same as the one we have here >:O

Q: :D the fun music is playing

Q: EDGY REMEMBER WHEN HE SAID HE COULDN'T TELL YOU WERE THE CORPS WAS FOUND

IT'S ALL ON YOU EDGY IT'S ALL ON YOU.

 Q:EDGY WHY DID YOU JUST SHOO OFF MEEKENS

IT'S STILL ALL ON YOU BUT MUCH MORE DIRECTLY YOU THIS TIME

Q: oh my god NOW WE'RE DOING NICKNAME PUNS

Q: hehehe FINALLY Edgy looks like the fool instead of me :D

Q: What i think happened is that they were killed, and their body was dragged through the back of their care, and brought here

oh boy angel's back

Q: Oh my god ANOTHER CASE

WE ALREADY DID DL-6 UGH THIS MUST AT LEAST HAVE AN INTERESTING STORY

Q: What I think happened: somebody killed the detective, put the body in the back of edgy's car, Edgy drove back to where he should, left, later the girl opened the back. something about her stabbing him.

Q: no that doesn't fit

screw this case

Q: oh no I'm defending Meekens now too???

Meekens just looks a lot more cartoony then everything else

Q: why did they let him bring a megaphone

Q: oh so goodman's the villain.

BF: uhhhh...nooot exactly, no

Q: i learnt that quickly

I found gant again! he has his own theme song. Sounds like a king.

Q: Honestly I still feel bad for Edgeworth, hope he gets out of this.

Q: uhhhggggg I just got stuck i really wanna figure this out fast instead of wandering around forever. Not sure if it's just with me or if this game just needs better... instructions maybe?

Q: In court when your stuck press everything. In over world when stuck talk to everyone again, present every piece of evidence again, and examine everything again. Then still find yourself stuck.

BF: this case is one of the worst for that sort of thing, I'll admit. I've played it multiple times and there are still places where I forget how to proceed

Q: I don't like using the tutorial at all but I've had to use it twice to proceed, at least I have that. When this game came out people would just be stuck and never get to f***ing leave, and when they did they would be like "THAT WAS IT THE WHOLE TIME I MUST BE DUMB". Are the later games better at this?

Gant: If somebody just walked up to me and asked for 50$, i'd give them 50$! in that case can i have 50$

Q: You know I want to get to the evidence room but why not let's just sit here and talk with Marshell for another 6 hours

Q: I can finally go the the evidence room yaaaay

Q: See, Gumshoe's got the right idea on those 50$

BF: it varies by case, I'm not going to lie!

Game 2 has some added trickiness because it introduces a new mechanic during investigation mode.

said method is a touch more refined in the third game.

Q: in your opinion what is the best game (random question)

general stuff happens, i didn't comment on it

Q: I'm sorry, the game wants me to go to the secret room, do all these things, get no sign that I found then all, and then go to edgeworth's office???

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIGURE THAT OUT

Q: fine a little bit of a clue but this case really wants players to get stuck

Q: OH MY GOD WHY IS THE BELLBOY HERE DOESN'T HE WORK SOMEWHERE ELSE

Q: hahahaha I can see how you got stuck when the game told you the blow, It did NOT specify in the mic.

Q: non bloody prints???

I can't choose any of the fingers and all 5 are bloody! what do you want me to do im stuck on this sceen

Q: my brother helped :D

BF: heh

BF: Um...my favorite...well, tough to say.  Obviously, I'm particularly stuck on game 2, though on retrospect game 4 is pretty fascinating (both for what it is and what it could have been)

BF: Generally speaking, most people agree that game 3 is the best of the original trilogy, though (game 2 isn't hated, but it has this ONE CASE that is near universally hated)

BF: Of the spinoffs, I'm personally partial to the second Ace Investigations, though that one you can only play in English via  a fanpatch

I'm still playing game 6, so I don't know how I'd rank that one just yet

and there are two spin off titles that I have no way of playing in English at all right now, which is frustrating. No idea where I'd rank either of them. but the animation for those is PRETTY.

BF: Oh, but if you get a chance, one game I strongly recommend that was created by the original creator of Ace Attorney that isn't an Ace Attorney game (though it is allegedly set in the same universe) is a game called Ghost Trick.

Q: Interesting! I'll be sure to check out ghost trick. I wonder if I'll be able to tell what the hated case in 2 is when I get to it...

BF: hahah I'm willing to bet you'll figure it out. I personally liked the case, but it has some issues for sure

Q: alright. I was gonna start playing again if you still want me to send you the endless messages that give you no context to where i am or what im reacting to

BF: AMONG said issues is that it does what no other case had ever done before it, and it has a couple of cross examinations where you can get frigging penalized for a bad PRESS

Q: oh no D:

BF: It warns you when you get to it, but it's still really annoying

taking away my ability to badger the witness without repercussion!

but yeah no, feel free to ramble, I'm just here working and rewatching episodes of the Maxx

Q: >:(

I saw a post and thought of the judge from this game. "The judge could sentence you guilty for murder wearing hello kitty pajamas under their robe and you would never know” yaaaay

Q: About to go to the court thing. FINALLY lana is back it's been a while >:(

Q: oh yay lana gets to be a witness

nvm im a moron the cartoon guy i forgot his name gets to be

MEEKENS YOU'RE NOT THE KILLER

THAT IS NOT AN OCCUPATION RIGHT

Q: there seems to be a lot of talking down to kids in this game :(

Q: why do people let him bring his megaphone

same answer with the kid and his sword

Q: i mean i like the blue badger

Q: bet the tape won't help much

HEY ITS ANIMATED

well hey it was a little helpful

Q: 

Edge: :slams hand on desk: What the hell was that wriggling piece of plywood!?

my new second favorite line

Q: the problems was he was wearing gloves

probably not that's what first comes to mind though

Q: or the light was already on

Q: gloves were rubber? how did i not notice that

Q: why would he need the gloves in there if he was goodman

Q: he could've stolen the card

who is the 777... card at the top

Q: WHY IS THE KID STILL IN THE AUDIENCE

WHY TO PARENTS TAKE THEIR KIDS TO MURDER TRIALS I'D LIKE TO SPEAK WITH THIS CHILD AND EXPLAIN TO THEM THAT MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE ACTUALLY WENT TO THE TRIAL WHERE I DEFENDED EDGEWORTH IF YOU STILL THINK HE'S SO BAD

Q: :D I think edge just complimented me, it's probably going to turn into an insult though so ill just enjoy it while i can

Q: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuu

Q: the fake killed goodman not lana

no that wouldn't work dammit screw you

Q: HEY GUMMY HOW ARE YOU

NO GUMMY STAY

HEYHEYHEYHEY HEY WHAT

awww lana's finally being useful

Q: Ema don't run it's just a serial killer

Gummy why >:(

saaave pooiiinnt

oh my god Marshell i forgot his personality

Q: please provide me with a reasonable explanation why there were bloody handprints of yours in the evidence room (and no ID saying you signed in but i think i just missed something on that)

Q: somebody actually messes up in grammer in court and one of them yells objection but its about the grammer and they keep fighting about i

Q: edgy don't worry just let me get to my menu my lack of experience means nothing

wait is he giving me advice? is he being nice???

Q: noooo just let him beeee

or not his reasoning was okay though

Q: At first i was sad to find out it was his brother now im just thinking COWBOY PROSECUTOR THAT WOULD BE FUN

Q: what do you think happened to your brother jake

Q: MY DEFENDANT DID NOT KILL HIM AND YOU KNOW IT

YOU JUST DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE IT FOR MONEY

you know i could put that anywhere in almost any case and it could still work (with a pronoun swap but aside from that)

Q: ARRRRRGGHHHHHH

Q: OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT YOU

YOU DO GET THIS IS PROBABLY ILLEGAL RIGHT

Q: edgy is being very nice to her yay

I MEAN EMA YOUR NOT USELESS YOU STOPPED HIM FROM GIVING THE VERDICT TWICE

THAT WAS SOMETHING NOT EVEN MIA COULD DO HE GAVE THE VERDICT AND I BEAT HIM ANYWAYS THOUGH SO :/

Edgy is used to me making claims with the idea "I'll think about it later" in mind of course hes going to scoff at everything i say

I PROBABLY WOULD

YA THREE WHILE PAGES OF EVIDENCE THAT'S A LOT

Q: hey hey jake's back i was wondering where he went

Q: "Just one moment! I will not let such far-fetched balderdash in my court room"

HAHA VERY FUNNY JUDGE. AS IF THIS IS THE MOST FAR FETCHED THING YOU'VE SEEN HERE.

YAAAY PHOENIX GOOD JOB

Q: why is everybody immediately blaming edgy again I already defended him from two murders WHEN A VERDICT WAS ALREADY GIVEN

Q: stop being so mean to edgy

Q: hi lana please help me

ocassionally what what i didn't understand what they said i need to know

awww how dare you now your going to get all three of us in trouble

Q: that kid in the audience actually as an adult took the weirdest trials hes been to and put his own characters in it and made it into a game

oh my god the noise of the crowed is so terrifying because it's on repeat i need to turn the sound off

Q: saaave

Q: good think ema isn't dead

Q: Ema it’s not yours its your sisters putting blame on yourself just leads to depression okay

Q: to lana. MAYBE SHE'LL FINALLY BE USEFUL

YAAAAY

Q: Deal with the devil as a minor so that when your older he doesn't have a legal claim to your soul.

that's unrelated and unhelpful but

Q: now to show you every single piece of f***ing evidence

Q: or not

HI MARSHELL

Q: do do do

do do ddoo dodo doo dodo do doooo ddo do dooo dooo doDOdodoooo

(Edit: do do doooo

do doooo

do doooo

(now go reread it from the top with those last two as the start) )

Q: no marshel come baaaaaack 

noooooo

Q: I just wanna get to 2-4

quonit

:D

Things are going well!

HE STARTED LUAGHING IM SCARED

LHIS LAUGHING IS TERRIFYING

Q: :D Thank you Jake!

Q: Well gant does make a good point

Also about you paying my rent Edgy

Q: I wonder if there are anymore choices or it it's just dialogue.

did I win??

Lana smiled at me :D

"stop it mah you're embaressing meeee" is how this dialogue feels like

Q: yaaaaay I win

Q: awww ema I she'll say she's proud of you too

Gummy you keep doing this

bring him back

Lana :D

Q: Maya will be very proud of me when she comes back

awww hugs!!!

wait edgy was hiding why is he angry

aww ty

Is Lana making you scared I'm pretty sure she was your boss at some point or something I forgot at this point

Q: oh nooo Gant make Edgy scared of who he might be in 10 years. Somebody teach him not to do that.

Q: Aww thanks Lana

the difference between you gant and vampire is that you have friends doesn't that makes you feel better

Q: bye edgyyyy

Edgeworth you keep saying that and it's wrong every time >:( please stop breaking promises

what a storybook ending

OH HI GUMMY

couldn't you make edgy do it instead i don't have money

BF: Did you notice you could do fingerprint powder on the bottom screen during the credits?

Q: ya! Can i blow it too?

BF: Make bonus images appear haha

Yep!

Q: :D

After this i need to sleep this is fun though!

time for game two :D

Q: will blue badger get to stay though is my question

Q: Hey so Angel will be on my side, it will just be in the next game!

Q: I really do think the judge it wearing hello kitty pajamas under that robe

Q: credits done! That was very satisfying :D