#AND THEN ELLIE TAKING ON THE FATHER'S PART. INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE.

[yououghtaknow]

another bpd banger from our pal bill.

[sheeple]

Miracles don't exist | 34: Stay and leave

Genre(s): Riddle!reader / Slytherin!reader / kinda slowburn / little happy moments Fandom(s): Harry Potter Pairing(s): Theodore Nott x Reader / Harry Potter x Riddle!reader Summary: Being the Dark Lord's daughter and raised under the strict supervision of the Malfoy's is no easy life. Especially if you start crushing on your father's arch-nemesis, Harry Potter. And that while being engaged to one of his follower’s sons. Warning(s): None really [Masterlist] [Mini masterlist] [Playlist]

You wouldn't have thought that shadowing Dolores Umbridge was the worst part of the Voldemort takeover. But surprisingly, it is. The woman takes a true delight in bringing dread and sorrow to other people. 

You're not even listening to the hag questioning the poor Muggle-born witches and wizards. Instead, you write letters with no intention to send them. They're mostly to Sirius. You miss the man. The safety and comfort he provided is a far-away concept in the middle of the war.

Sirius,  How are you? Are you safe? Is the Order still fighting the fight? I wish I could join. But I am under close observation at the Manor. The Dark Lord has great expectations for me and I am scared what will happen if I don't follow them to a T.  I am married now. For a while actually. To Theodore Nott. It's the same boy who was at the hospital. Despite it being a forced marriage, I am happy it's him. He takes good care of me, so don't worry. We keep each other safe in the eye of the war.  How are Harry, Hermione and Ron? Are they safe? The last thing I've heard was that they are on the run for the Ministry. Do you know what they are doing? Maybe I can find some things out for them to help them?

You look up from the letter and your frustration with the words on the page only grows when you look at the pink hag. There is a constant high-pitched ringing that follows Umbridge wherever she goes. And it seems like only you can hear it. It brings you to the brink of insanity and your hands itch to grab your wand and silence the witch and the ringing once and for all.

A chill rolls over your back while your head twitches. The thoughts scare you. And they have been getting a lot worse ever since you have been ordered to shadow the Muggle-Born Registration Commission. You glance up at the ceiling, where a pack of dementors hoover above the Patronus barrier Umbridge created. 

Mafalda Hopkirk has been giving you skittish looks the whole time and every time you give her a small but awkward smile when you catch her eyes. She then quickly looks away, her eyes wide as saucers. Shaking your head, you crumple up the letter to Sirius and put it in the pocket of your jacket. 

The high-pitched ringing around Dolores picks up when she speaks. "Marry Elisabeth Cattermole. Of 27 Chislehurst Gardens, Great Tolling, Evesham?"

"Yes", whispers Mrs Cattermole scared.

"Mother to Masie, Ellie, and Alfred? Wife to Reginald?"

Mrs Cattermole turns her head. Her husband gets dragged in by Albert Runcorn, the former having a skittish look on his face. Mafalda tenses in her seat at the arrival of the two men and you raise your brows. Interesting.

Mr Cattermole goes to stand next to the chair his wife is seated on while Runcorn stands in the doorway.

Umbridge continues after thanking Runcorn, "Marry Elisabeth Cattermole? A wand has been taken for you upon your arrival at the Ministry, Mrs Cattermole. Is this that wand?" She holds up the wand.

Runcorn starts to circle Mrs Cattermole as she answers the crude questions the hag throws at her, her voice getting thick with desperation.

As Umbridge accuses Mrs Cattermole of lying, Runcorn's face hardens with hatred. It piques your interest as the man always has seen impartiality of the many claims Dolores makes. You sit up straight, no longer leaning with your head on your hand.

As the poor woman begs her husband to defend her, the ringing intensifies. It's almost unbearable. Your head snaps towards Umbridge, seeing that Runcorn has snuck upon her, his wand in his hand.

Suddenly, Runcorn's face starts to bubble and deform. A nightmarish sight as his face morphs. "You're lying, Dolores. And one mustn't tell lies." 

Runcorn- no Harry! Harry fires stupify at Umbridge, who slumps in her seat. As Mafalda reaches out and janks something from her neck, Mr. Cattermole hits Yaxley with a spell, which makes him fall off his seat.

You have no clue why the two strangers help Harry, but you're quick on your feet, running after them as they bolt out of the interrogation room with Mrs. Cattermole. 

The dementors swoop after you as the Patronus charm disappears with Umbridge rendered unconscious. Just before you jump after them in the elevator you send your hippogriff down the hall, which fends off the dementors.

The elevator speeds off and you're met with two pairs of wands in your face. You hold up your hands in surrender as you try to catch your breath. "Please", you pant, "I'm on your side. We have to escape the Ministry as soon as possible as it is likely that the fireplaces will be shut off at any moment. But we have to pretend. Please..."

Mr Cattermole takes a step towards you, his wife still tightly clutching his arm. "And why should we believe you?" Now that you hear his voice you recognise him. It's Ron. So that means that Mafalda is... the Poli-juice has run out of her system and Hermione looks at you, an unreadable expression on her face. But she gives Ron and Harry a look that tells them to trust you.

The doors of the elevator open and you all bolt out. You decided to run behind them so it looks like you're chasing them. As the police storm your group, spells fly around your ears. You can hardly dodge them.

"They're mine!", you growl at Yaxley as you pass him, throwing spells yourself that you misfire on purpose. 

With Yaxley hot on your heels, you fire Depulso at the man so he crashes into the opposite wall, before diving after the Golden Trio into the last open fireplace.

You twist and turn, your body contorting uncomfortably until you roll onto the ground, dirt and try leaves in your mouth. You cough and wheeze as you try and scramble upon your feet.

Your wand flies out of your hand and a hot glowing tip gets pushed into your face. You up scared at Harry as he holds you at wand point. But painful wailing catches your attention and you look to the side.

Ron lies squirming on the ground, the flesh of his arm removed in graceful twists. Blood coats Hermione's hands as she tries to comfort the wailing redhead.

She yells to Harry for him to grab the bottle of Dittany from her bag. As he searches haphazardly, you reach for your wand before crawling towards them. "I know a spell. Please, let me help."

Hermione nods, tears and panic paint her face. Closing your eyes, you begin to recount the sing-like incantation of Vulnera Sanentur, the same spell Snape used on you after your incident in the toilets a couple months back.

Ron's twitching slowly eases as his wounds gradually close. Hermione pets Ron's head while she watches you work. Her bloodied hands leave red streaks on his forehead.

You sit back on your heels, watching your spell work. Your eyes travel from Hermione and Ron towards Harry, who stands off to the side with something in his hand. A necklace or some sort.

"Why- what were you thinking?! Do you realise how incredibly dangerous the Ministry is right now for you lot?!" You raise from your feet, dusting off your knees. You run frustrated a hand over your face. "Was it at least worth it?"

Hermione and Harry share a look with each other, the former giving Harry a sympathetic look. Harry sighs and holds up his hand, showing you what Hermione snatched from Umbridge. A locket.

You reach for it and when you touch it, a weird feeling goes through you and your head twitches violently to the side. And so does Harry's. 

"Wha-what is it?"

Harry still looks hesitant. "A Horcrux."

Raising your eyebrows, you look at Harry, silently asking him to explain.

The bespectacled boy sighs. "You-Know-Who has split his soul into seven pieces in order to be immortal and put them in objects. And to defeat him, all those objects need to be destroyed."

Your eyes flicker towards the locket. "So... You're telling me that a part of the Dark Lord's soul is in that locket?"

Harry nods and you sigh heavily. "How many did you destroy already?"

"Dumbledore managed to destroy two, but other than this one we have no clue what those objects are."

Chewing on your bottom lip you frown, thinking deeply. "I imagine that the Dark Lord keeps those objects close to him or in a secured place. I mean... I wouldn't be surprised if Nagini is a Horcrux. She's everywhere he goes. Except for a couple of times, she's with me when it is not safe for her to join him."

While you and Harry discuss the locket, Hermione has set up a tent and is placing protective charms around the encampment. Her voice makes you turn towards her.

"I have to go. If I stay any longer people will be suspicious."

"You-you can stay", blurts Harry out, his eyes wide. "With us... if you want. Or we can bring you to Sirius, where you are under the protection of the Order." He takes a step towards you, his hand reaching out. But you flinch away from him, not having forgotten the pain his curse caused.

You shake your head, playing with the ring on your finger. "You know I can't Harry. I'm so afraid of what they'll do to him if I don't return. Once they discover I betrayed them, they will kill Teddy to make an example. I am sure of it." Your bottom lip wobbles at the thought of those warm, brown eyes staring up at you blankly. Just like Mrs Burbage's.

"You're married?" Hermione has finished the protective enchantments and grabs your hand, examining the ring. "It's beautiful..." Her eyes catch the faded outline of the bracelet around your wrist and frowns. She looks at you with silent questions in her eyes.

You snatch your hand away, tugging it behind your back. "Ancient wizarding traditions", you say, hoping it explains enough. 

You turn around to walk out of the protective barrier, but just before you stop. Turning around, you say, "you have to hit me with a spell. Preferably in my face."

"I'll do it", quips Ron, who you honestly to Merlin kind of forgot that he was there. Hermione shoots him a look.

"Yaxley saw me leave with you. I can't come back and claim to have battled you without any proof. I'm not saying you have to break my nose. But just a few cuts here and there."

After some convincing Hermione reluctantly agrees to do it, as she is arguably the most skilled out of all of them. She stands a few metres away from you, wand at the ready. 

"Just... don't scar my face again, please", you say before closing your eyes. 

You hear Hermione take a sharp breath in before wordlessly firing a spell your way. It hits you square in your face and sends you flying back a few metres. A pained groan escapes you as Hermione hurries towards you, helping you to your feet.

"How do I look?", you ask weakly, half a smile on your face. You feel blood run out of your nose and staining your lips while your forehead stings. "Thanks for not going easy on me."

Hermione engulfs you in a tight hug. "Please be careful."

You hug her for what could be the last time for a very long time before stepping outside of the boundary. The encampment is gone when you turn around. Taking a deep breath you dissipate back to the Manor.

You land safely back in your and Theo's bedroom. Expect it's a total mess. Every door, drawer, and cabinet is wide open, and clothes and papers are strewn about. Everything is turned over like it was searched for something. And then you see it. The box you stored all your letters to Sirius is pulled from its hiding place under your bed and empty, every letter taken away.

Shit! SHIT!

The door flies open and you raise your wand. Theo stands in the door opening, eyes wide and hair dishevelled like he has been running his hand through it. 

The two of you stare at each other before it finally clicks in your mind. You wildly search the pockets of your coat for the letter you wrote today. But it's gone.

Within two strides, Theo's next to you and grabbing your face, wiping the blood away. "What happened? They are turning the house inside out in search of you. Why are you covered in blood?"

"You have to leave", you say, turning around and grabbing the first bag you find and stuffing it with clothes for him. But he grabs your arm which effectively stops you. You look at him guiltily, casting your eyes to the ground. 

"I'm not leaving without you."

You shake your head. "Listen to me, Teddy, please. They will kill you if you don't leave. Please." As you beg, you grab his hand and push the bag into his hold. "Quickly, before they find me."

You hear footsteps down the hall. Panic floods your system and you look around the room. you spot one of the first letters you wrote for Sirius and take it, pressing it in his hand. "Go to 12 Grimmauld Place and show them this letter."

"I'm not leaving without you. We're married, (Y/n). We're supposed to do this together."

Shaking your head, you hear the people near your room. "Now, Theodore", you growl, your breath picking up. 

Just before the Death Eaters storm your room you hear the distinct sound of disapparition and Theo is gone.

The door gets thrown open and a handful of Death Eaters pour into your room. "Get her!", one says before they pound upon you.

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[erooca]

daycare pt. 2

ellie williams x reader

description: ellie williams is forced to work at a daycare. in part two, she gets more comfortable with her new job and with you. 2.5k words

omg im so happy a lot of people liked the first one!!! i hope u guys like this one too. i love writing ab ellie and am open to any suggestions you may have!!

part one: https://www.tumblr.com/erooca/724971592933834752/daycare

ever since you met ellie, you started seeing her more around your campus. every once in a while, y’all would go study together or maybe grab a coffee, but she’s never invited you back to her dorm before, at least not until right now.

like the gentleman she is, she held the door open and you walked in, instantly getting hit with the scent of ellie. specifically a nice, light scent of tobacco vanilla, which felt very on point for the freckled girl.

her dorm was small, smaller than yours since she had one to herself, while you shared with roommates. all that was in here was a bed, a desk, a mini fridge, storage, and a door leading to a bathroom.

her back wall was filled with little sketches everywhere. you knew she liked to draw, but you had no idea it meant this much to her. you took in all the drawings, examining them one by one. you see sketches of horses, dinosaurs (no surprise there), sunsets and just a lot of landscapes in general, and you see a few of an older looking man. you assume it’s her father.

ellie is watching you nervously as you examine all her drawings. she was scared as shit that you were finally in her dorm, but she also had a tingling feeling in her heart because you were surrounded completely by her and only her at the moment. she could get used to this.

it had been two weeks since her first day at the daycare. for two whole weeks, her thoughts have been plagued by you. she was loving it. she loved spending a full eight hour shift with you. just to see you, she would even come in five or ten minutes early.

she wasn’t very secretive about her crush on you. she did a lot of things for you. if you went on break earlier than her, she’d pick you up something to eat and would forbid you from paying her back. she would also buy things you had mentioned you needed for the classroom. one time, she even brought you a candy bar since she noticed you weren’t as energetic as your usual self.

even after all these gracious gifts, you were oblivious. it drove ellie insane. she really didn’t want to have to confess it out loud to you. she was really hoping you’d just take the hint and ask her out yourself. ellie has a bit of a hard time with rejection and she can’t imagine pouring out her feelings to you just for you to tell her you didn’t feel the same about her.

“hey.. is this one of king’s drawings?” you said, pointing at a colorful and bright picture. it had two stick figures with a hell of a lot of scribbles.

“oh yeah, he said he drew it for me,” ellie smiled, reliving the memory. king had told her it was a drawing of her and him hanging out together. ellie asked if she could keep the drawing and of course king said yes.

“that’s so sweet,” you smiled brightly. you were so happy ellie already made a strong connection with one of the students. the best part about working with kids is seeing the way you influence them and make them better humans.

ellie nodded.

“so, did ya’ wanna order pizza and watch a movie?” ellie asked.

“that sounds like a perfect way to relax after a week of working.”

you guys settle onto ellie’s bed (since there’s no couch) watching a random movie on netflix waiting for the pizza.

it was a really good night. you wish you could spend every night like this.

the next monday, you were eagerly waiting for ellie to enter the classroom door. you were so excited to see her. you guys had such a great time on saturday, and you couldn’t wait to be in ellie’s presence again.

when the door opened, all the children screamed out ellie’s name, getting up to go give her a hug.

“ellie!! guess what my mom did this weekend!!” a blonde girl named charlie asked.

“i went to the park yesterday ellie!!” pippa told her.

“hey! hey! ellie!” another kid called for attention.

ellie laughed and listened to each of the kids one by one. it warmed your heart so much seeing your students gathered around ellie, telling her stories and giving her hugs. you felt like you could burst from the warmth that spread throughout your body.

when she was finished, she got up and locked eyes with you. she greeted you and that was when you noticed two starbucks cups in her hands. she sheepishly handed one of them out to you.

“ellie, you shouldn’t have done this,” you said, taking the cup from her even though it contradicted your words.

“gotta get a coffee for my favorite coworker,” her lips rose into a half smile.

you brought the drink up to your lips and sipped. you’ve had starbucks countless times, but this one tasted different. it tasted amazing and you know it’s because it was ellie who bought it for her. you thanked her.

the day continued on as usual. while you were outside, you watched as the kids ganged up on ellie to chase her and take her to “jail”. you watched her run, taking the game a little too seriously. it made you think how she’d probably survive a zombie apocalypse, if it ever happened.

she easily got cornered and king tugged her hand, leading her to the fence. some of the other kids did a locking motion, acting as though ellie was chained to the fence.

“don’t get out!!!” one of the boys, william, said.

you made your way over, innocently.

“how’s jail?” you ask.

“oh, ha ha,” she said sarcastically, then her eyes lit up, as if she had a great idea, “hey.. unlock me!” she said, glancing at her hands.

“you do realize you aren’t actually locked in, right?” you ask, laughing.

ellie scoffs. you follow through with her request anyway, motioning an unlocking gesture. then ellie bolted.

“HEY! they let ellie out! get both of them!” one of the kids yelled.

now both of you were running for your lives from a big group of three year olds.

once you guys came inside, you had lunch, and then nap time. when the kids woke up, you opted to do floor toys and just keep them all on the colorful alphabet rug.

you sat with the children, watching them build with the duplo legos. they were each having you look at what they made. you praised them each time, suggesting they add a different colored block or make it taller. soon, you felt a bit tired so you laid down onto the carpet.

this turned out to be a bad idea when half of your students rolled on top of you, leaving you no room to even move. all you could hear was the sounds of your three year olds giggling, as they tortured you.

you called out for help from ellie but was met with the response of laughter coming from her.

wow. your own friend. you thought up your revenge plan quickly, “everyone!!!” you shouted, catching their attentions, “go give ellie a kiss!!”

“what? no- no,” but it was too late. the kids ran up to her, giving her kisses on her arms and hands. a few even gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“payback,” you smirk at her, watching as she’s trying to control the kids now.

“oh you’re evil,” she responds, playfully narrowing her eyes at you.

the rest of the day went by fast, but this time ellie wasn’t leaving when you got down to less kids. maria had asked that you go through all the cleaning duties with her that are required for closing. you agreed, obviously excited to spend even more with her. you decided to wait until all the children were gone to start teaching it. it would allow you to give ellie your full focus.

all the kids were called to leave one by one and soon it was 6:00 and all the kids had went home. it was just ellie and you in the room. you could already feel the intense butterflies moving through you. god, your crush had gotten bad.

ignoring the feeling in your stomach that was so extreme it almost hurt, you showed ellie the closet.

“so we keep the vacuum and broom in here, and all of the cleaning chemicals. there’s bleach water, soapy water, floor spray, and a bathroom cleaner,” you explain to ellie.

you went inside to pull out the vacuum but with a mighty tug, the vacuum wouldn’t come loose. it was stuck in between the children’s mats. you said a naughty word but kept trying.

“here, let me help,” ellie said from outside the closet, stepping inside.

“wait! don’t let the door—“

click

“shut..”

“oh fuck. did i just lock us in here?” ellie asked, wide eyed as soon as she heard the click of the lock.

“uhh.. yeah. you did. it’s alright, i’m sure someone will find us soon,” you said, hopeful.

the closet wasn’t super tight, but it definitely wasn’t spacious. you were a little too close to ellie for comfort. you could already feel your heart racing. someone better find you guys soon, or you might have a heart attack.

“i’m gonna see if maybe i can like.. jam the door open,” you said, trying to switch spots with ellie so you were closer to the door. you couldn’t ignore the way your skin touched hers in an effort to get across.

you started wiggling the handle with all your might, trying to move it up, down, and side to side. it wasn’t budging.

“try moving it like this,” ellie had found her way right behind you. she rested her hand on the door handle where yours was. your pinkies overlapped and ellie started jiggling the handle too.

you looked to your side and noticed she had her other hand resting on the door, for support, to the right of your head. she was basically leaning over you, trapping you within her arms.

“yeah we’re not getting out of this any time soon,” ellie states, letting her hand rest on the door knob.

you finally turned around to face her and it both hit you how close you both had gotten. your back was against the door and she was right in front of you, only maybe a foot away.

ellie felt a dust of pink wash over her cheeks as she realized how close she was to you. she hadn’t meant to position you like this, but she wasn’t complaining.

ellie was keeping her eyes locked with yours and neither of you guys made an attempt to move. you could hear as her breath was moving more rigid.

it was becoming too much for you, and you glanced down, forcing your head to look at the ground. you tried to relax your heart that seemed as though it was clawing out of your chest.

a soft hand rose to the bottom of your chin, and pulled it upwards, forcing you to look back at ellie.

“don’t.” ellie whispered, not taking her eyes off of you.

you don’t think you’ve ever desired someone as much as you desired ellie right now. you were so close to grabbing her face, giving her as many kisses as she deserved, but instead you stood still, frozen under ellie’s dominant position.

ellie took the hand from your chin and moved it to gently tuck a wisp of hair behind your ear, “wanna see your pretty face…” she let her hand rest on her cheek.

your whole face turned a blushy color at her words. how was this girl you met only a few weeks ago making you sink into a puddle?

“ellie..” you breathed out, scanning her face, trying to decipher any thought she might have. from up this close, you could see how irregular her pattern of freckles were. how they were different shades of the same color. you could count them all from this position, and you happily would.

“can i please kiss you?” ellie asked, in almost a puppy dog voice.

you didn’t trust yourself with your voice right now (hell, you’d probably accidentally propose to her), so you gave a sweet nod.

she took a step closer to you, bodies mere inches from colliding, she watched your eyes and glanced to your lips.

“are you sure?” she asked, wanting to confirm that this is genuinely what you wanted. her eyes went back up to yours and she searched them.

instead of answering, you moved forward closing the gap. your soft lips met with her chapped ones. ellie made a noise of surprise at your sudden movement, but easily got comfortable, kissing you back.

she pulled back after a moment, but stayed close to your face.

“holy fuck,” she breathed out, trying to regain any sense of herself she had previously.

before you had a chance to say anything, she reconnected her lips with yours. she placed her hands on your hips, pulling you in closer. you crossed your hands around her neck. you don’t ever think you’ve felt this kind of rush before. all you knew was that you wanted ellie closer. you wanted to be surrounded by her completely. now that you’ve kissed her once, you don’t think you’ll ever be able to stop kissing her.

she slowly started kissing along your jawline, and then trailing her lips down your neck. you giggling at the sensation from the way it tickled your skin.

ellie liked the way your throat felt under her mouth. she continued to leave soft kisses all on you. you could feel your hunger for her grow stronger and stronger.

just then the door swung open, leaving you to fall on the ground, and ellie tumbling over you. you both groaned in pain.

maria stood in front of you two’s lying bodies. she cleared her throat awkwardly. it was obvious she saw what you guys were doing before you fell.

“i’m not gonna talk about what i just saw, but how many times have i told you not to let that door shut??” maria said, only acting angry to wash away the awkward feeling of walking in on her (basically) niece making out with one of her best workers.

“it was my fault, maria. i let the door close,” ellie said, taking the blame. she stood up from the ground, and then held out a hand to you. you gladly took it and she pulled you up.

maria sighed in frustration, “don’t let it happen again, and get this room clean. we lock up in 15 minutes.”

as soon as she leaves the room, you erupt in giggles, thinking of how shocked maria’s face was. ellie joined your laughter, just now realizing how silly the situation had become.

knowing there wasn’t any time left to dilly-dally, you two sped cleaned the room.

you hoped the next couple days would be full of more closet kisses, more of those loving looks ellie had given you today, or even wishful touches throughout the hours.

unknown to your knowledge, ellie was planning on giving you every single one of those for the rest of her life.

[justagalwhowrites]

Someone New: Part of For You - A Collection of Requests Benefitting Palestine

Joel is new to Jackson and his family is eager to play matchmaker.

Event Terms: Commissioners could choose to donate between $15 and $50 via Ko-Fi for one fic of 1-2k words. Payment due after completion of the fic. Donation with a match by the author paid to PCRF upon completion. Commissioners had the option to choose to keep a fic private and all fics may not be shared here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female OC Ashley (NOT a reader insert)

Warnings: Smut :D Unprotected P in V sex. Daddy kink. Age gap (Joel is 56, Ashley is 40.) Light Dom!Joel and Sub!FOC. No use of Y/N. 18+ Only MINORS DNI

Length: 3.6k

For You Masterlist | Full Masterlist | AO3

A/N: Written as a request by the lovely @ashleyfilm! She requested "Jackson era Joel from the tv show, so Pedro, and me (Ashley, plus size, I’m 40, I have black hair and glasses, my eyes are blue green with some hazel, I have tattoos, I’m short. A little goth, wear all black where it’s possible in an apocalypse haha) in this scenario I have a cool exterior and I’m independent by nature, but when you get to know me I’m funny and loving, but keep to myself. Joel and I would both like each other but have no clue, while Tommy, Maria and Ellie would all know and roll their eyes at us, try and talk sense into us. Eventually we come together and I’d love some smut. Some daddy soft dom Joel, I’m sub, the only time I want to be told what to do is during sex. I like giving pussies a pronoun so like she likes it and her if you know what I mean. And some fluff would be nice too." Shared with permission. I hope you all enjoy!!

Tommy was starting to drive Joel insane. 

It had taken some adjustment, coming to Jackson. 

There was the adjustment of being back around other people at all, for starters. There was the adjustment to being a father again. There was the adjustment of being in a place he cared about, one where he wanted to contribute instead of forced to to keep FEDRA’s boot off his neck. 

It had been a lot to swallow and, not that anyone was asking, he thought he’d done a damn good job of it. Ellie was happy, going to school every day and making friends. He had his ways to play his part in the community. 

So what if he was doing it all on his own? It’s not like it’s a crime to keep to yourself, he wasn’t sure why Tommy kept trying to push him further than he wanted to go. 

He doubted it was because Ashley was asking him to.

Ashley, the woman Tommy kept damn near throwing him toward at every opportunity. Ashley, who was years too young for him to even be thinking about the way he did. Ashley, whose plush curves and bright eyes had caught his attention from the moment he met her, even as she kept her distance from Joel and, it seemed, just about everyone else in Jackson. 

It didn’t matter how much Joel would enjoy things being different, that the little time he’d spent with her had been some of his favorite since coming here. She wasn’t interested - couldn’t be interested - and he wasn’t about to force it. 

Tommy, it seemed, had other ideas. 

“I’m not sure why you won’t just see if she wants to go,” Tommy said one night as they sat in the mess hall for dinner. “What’s the harm?” 

“Don’t particularly feel like gettin’ shot down,” Joel replied, taking a bite of his mashed potatoes. “Got enough goin’ on without worrying about that, too.” 

“Worrying about what?” Maria asked, taking her spot next to Tommy. Joel resisted the urge to roll his eyes, knowing he was about to be outnumbered. 

“Joel won’t ask Ashley to the dance on Saturday,” Tommy smirked a little. “He’s convinced she’d say no…” 

“Who would say no to what?” Ellie joined them, too, sitting next to Joel. 

“Ashley to Joel and the dance, apparently,” Maria said, giving Ellie a knowing look. 

“Oh shit,” Ellie’s eyes went a little wide. “They’d be so cute together, Joel pretending to be a person who actually does something besides be grumpy…” 

“OK you tryin’ to get yourself grounded?” Joel asked, brows raised. Ellie rolled her eyes. “Because it sure seems like it. And I don’t need y’all match making for me. I am doin’ just fine without worrying about all of that. Leave it.” 

Ellie and Maria gave each other a knowing look that Joel was about to call them on when Tommy distracted him. 

“You’re going to the dance Saturday anyway, right?” He asked. “Just because you’re too chicken shit to bring a date doesn’t mean you should sit it out. It’s a big party, the whole town will be there, you should at least come by for a few drinks. You’ll miss out if you don’t.” 

“Yeah, I want to go!” Ellie said, turning to Joel and pouting a little. “You’re really going to make me go all by myself?” 

“I’ll go to the dance,” Joel sighed before looking between the others and gesturing between them with the fork. “S’long as you three are done meddling.” 

“We’ll behave,” Ellie smirked a little. “I promise.” 

Joel shouldn’t have believed them. He should have known better. 

But that didn’t make him any less surprised when he showed up to the dance Saturday evening and looked for Tommy and Maria, only to find them sitting with Ashley, her dark hair styled to pair with the black dress that seemed like it was made to highlight her every soft curve, curves that Joel had spent hours dreaming about exploring with his hands and mouth. 

He was going to strangle Tommy. 

“Joel!” His brother called, waving him over, as if Joel would have missed him. “Over here!” 

“C’mon old man,” Ellie teased. “Stop being such a fucking coward.” 

“We’re talking about your language later,” he muttered, letting Ellie lead him to the table, hoping that no one had put too much pressure on Ashley to put her in this position. 

“Well look who decided to join the party,” Tommy smirked. Joel ground his teeth. “Ashley, you know my brother Joel.” 

“I do,” she gave him a cool, tight smile and took a sip of her drink, looking back out toward the dance floor. 

“Hi,” Joel said before feeling like a bit of an idiot and pulling his eyes from her to turn back to his brother. “How are you Tommy, Maria?” 

“Oh, we’re good,” Maria smiled a little, looking more like Tommy than Joel thought was appropriate. He wondered if married couples started looking alike before too long. 

“Just peachy,” Tommy said as a new song started. “Oh would you look at that, I need to dance with my wife. Maria?” 

He offered her his hand and she smiled wider before taking it, giving Joel a meaningful look before being led onto the dance floor by her husband. 

“Oh, I think I see Dina,” Ellie said before clapping Joel on the back and leaving him there, alone with Ashley, before he had the chance to argue. 

Joel just stood there, awkwardly, trying not to stare at her, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. 

“So,” he said eventually. “Um… that seat taken?” 

She looked at him, brows raised. 

“Just by your brother.” 

“Right,” he said, taking it anyway. She looked back toward the dance floor and Joel looked her over while he had the chance, how the darkness of her clothes seemed to suit her, the sharp intelligence behind her glasses, the beauty of the tattoos he could see on her exposed skin. He wondered what each of them meant, wondered what it would be like to take his time tracing over each one. 

“So,” she turned her attention back to Joel. “Liking Jackson so far? Been here… what, a few months now?” 

“Yeah,” Joel nodded. “S’good. Different than where I’ve been for a while but that’s a good thing. Ellie likes it, all that really matters.” 

She nodded slowly, taking another sip of her drink. 

“Seems like she’s a good kid,” she said. “Sure got a mouth on her, though.” 

“Yeah,” Joel laughed, leaning his elbows onto the table. “She’s somethin’ else. I tried telling her she needs to watch her language, this ain’t the QZ.” 

“That’s a hell of an adjustment,” she smiled a little and damn, Joel really liked to see her smile. More than he’d liked seeing a woman smile in… he wasn’t sure how long. “Trust me, I know.” 

“You spent some time in a QZ?” He asked, brows raised. 

She nodded, taking a final sip of her cocktail. 

“Portland,” she said. “I was there at the beginning. One night, I was sneaking liquor at industry night at my favorite club, the next it’s a war zone. Got used to it after a while, though. You were in Boston with Tommy, right?” 

“I was,” Joel nodded. “Took us a while to work our way there but found it eventually.” 

“And you both ended up all the way out here.” 

“Suppose so,” Joel said. He nodded to her empty glass. “Can I get you another?” 

“Yeah,” she smiled. “That’d be nice.” 

He went to the bar and got them both a drink before rejoining her at the table. 

Joel was surprised at how much he liked talking with her. For how much time he’d spent thinking about her and looking at her, he hadn’t spent much time actually talking with her. She wasn’t what he’d expected. 

Where he’d always known her to be a bit distant and cool, he was starting to realize that, as soon as he was past the caution she seemed to approach the world with, she was really very warm and loving, thoughtful and kind. They talked about music, about what they missed about before, the quirks of life in Jackson after living in a QZ. 

By the time Joel got her onto the dance floor, he was ready to get her home. And he was starting to think she wanted the same. 

“Can I walk you home?” Joel asked as the Tipsy Bison was almost empty and he wasn’t able to come up with any more excuses to stay. 

“You can,” she smiled. “But… I think I’d rather you walk me to yours.” 

He smiled back. 

“Think that can be arranged.” 

Joel draped his arm over her shoulders and the two of them walked slowly through the dark town, the streets quiet and the stars bright. 

“Well,” Joel said as they came to his front walk. “This is me. Still want to come in?” 

“Yeah,” Ashley nodded. “Yeah, I really do.” 

He smiled. 

“Good.” 

He took her hand and led her to his door. 

But things shifted as they made it inside. Joel tilted her face up, finding the right angle, thumb brushing her lips, waiting for her to make a move. 

But she didn’t. Her breaths got quicker, her eyes searched his and, after a moment, he felt like he couldn’t wait anymore. 

“I’m gonna kiss you,” he said. “Because it’s all I’ve been thinkin’ about doing for a while.” 

She just nodded quickly and he kissed her, covering her mouth with his. 

It had been a while since Joel had kissed anyone, even longer since it was a first kiss. But Joel could tell this was different, something special. It was like an electric current ran over his skin, sparking at where your lips met and shooting out through the rest of him. There was a sharp, sudden pang of need deep inside him, the drive to be closer to her, as close as he could reach. More than that, he wanted to know that she was safe, cared for. That she had what she needed and what she wanted because he was giving it to her. 

“Joel,” she breathed as they separated, just enough for him to look in those blue green eyes of hers. “Will you take me to bed?” 

“Yeah baby,” he said, want seeping into his voice. “Yeah, I will.” 

He kissed her again, his hands sliding down from her face to her arms to her waist, moving her toward the stairs as he did. He only pulled away from her when they needed to go up to his room, not wanting to stop touching her for even a few moments, his skin almost aching as he watched the round shape of her ass in her black skirt going upstairs ahead of him. 

Joel pulled her back against him at the top of the stairs, the few seconds she was apart from him too much. Her arms stretched up and went around his neck and his hands roamed over her back and sides, luxuriating in just how soft she felt, how he could find places on her that seemed made for him to hold. He guided her to his room, kicking the door shut behind him. He slid his hands back up her body over her arms, his callused fingers slipping over her soft skin. 

“You gonna let me make you feel good, pretty girl?” He asked, voice dark and low. “Because I want to touch every damn inch of you.” 

“Please, Joel,” she whispered, her fingers tightening desperately on his curls at the nape of his neck. “Please, I want you, I need you, I…” 

“Shhh,” he hushed her. “Don’t worry about a thing. Just let Daddy take care of you.” 

He kissed her again and found the zipper on her dress, sliding it down, down, down, until he could slide the straps down her arms and let the fabric fall to the floor. 

“Fuck,” he breathed, his eyes ranging over Ashley’s body, tracing over her curves and tattoos. “You are the most beautiful damn thing I’ve ever seen.” 

He reached around and unhooked her bra, sliding the straps down her arms and dropping it to the floor before cupping her breasts, the fullness of her so soft below his touch that he couldn’t help but groan. 

“You gonna let me take care of you, baby girl?” He asked, voice husky. “You need me to take care of you, don’t you?” 

He wasn’t entirely sure why he said it but something inside him just knew, he could sense it in her. That she wanted someone to guide her, someone she could trust to take charge and give her what she needed.

He could tell by the way she nodded that he was right. 

Joel guided her down onto the bed before pulling his shirt and casting it aside. His eyes ranged over her body as he took his jeans and underwear off, too, his cock already thick and achingly hard. He worked himself, not able to stop himself as he drank her in, memorizing her. 

“Want you to touch yourself for me,” he said, stepping closer to the bed. “Spread those pretty legs, put your hand in your panties, show me how you like to touch yourself.” 

She took a hesitant, shaky breath and slid her hand down her body before slipping them below the fabric, stretching it tight over her pussy for a moment before her hand dipped lower. He could see the outline of her fingers clearly, watched with his mouth watering as they stroked her pussy lips before slipping inside. 

“There you go, baby girl,” he groaned, stroking his cock in time with her fingers. “You just keep on doin’ that for me.” 

He moved to the bed and she frowned as he reached out, looping his fingers around the waistband of her panties to start tugging them down. His eyes moved from her face, down her body to where her pussy lay just below the fabric. Her fingers were still. 

“I tell you to stop?” He asked. She groaned and he saw her fingers start to move again. “That’s my good girl. Want your pussy all nice and wet and full when I see her the first time.” 

He pulled her underwear down slowly, revealing her wet slit with two of her fingers buried deep inside herself as he did.

“Oh, there she is,” he breathed, casting her panties aside. “Fuck, such a pretty little pussy ain’t she?” 

Ashley just moaned, thrusting her fingers deeper. Joel licked his lips, desperate for a taste of her. 

“Spread her open for me, baby,” he said, spreading her legs wide and settling between them. “Lemme see.” 

Her hands trembled as she slid her fingers from her dripping entrance and delicately opened herself to him. 

“Fuck me,” Joel groaned, taking a thumb and brushing it over her tight little hole before trailing it up to her swollen nub. “Gonna take a lot before she can take me. Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you.” 

He pressed his mouth to her entrance, just a kiss at first, a taste of her musky sweetness. His thumb stayed against her clit, rubbing her in slow and gentle circles as he dipped is tongue inside of her. 

Joel started slow, easing her into it. His tongue worked deeper, his thumb harder. Eventually, he added a finger, then two, starting to stretch her open as her hips canted up against his face, her legs squirming, delicious moans and gasps pouring from her lips. He looped an arm around her thigh to hold her still, pulling her leg against the side of his head and leaving his nose to work her clit as his hand splayed wide on her plush thigh. 

“Fuck, I’m going to come,” her back was arched, fingers wound tight in his quilt. “I’m coming, I’m coming Daddy, I’m coming!” 

He smiled against her as he ate her through her orgasm, pressing his aching cock down into the bed as he felt her pussy flutter over his tongue. 

When her climax eased, he pulled himself from her tight, wet heat and rose to his knees, stroking his dripping length as she came back down to earth. He nudged her legs apart and down, leaving her fully exposed to him. He ran his fingers over her slit, gathering her wetness and bringing it to his cock as she looked at him, her eyes a little wide. 

“Is…” she swallowed, hard. “Is that going to fit inside me? I don’t know if that’s going to fit…” 

“It’ll fit, baby girl,” he said, working himself as he lined himself up with her entrance. “You can take it, so nice and wet for me. You just relax and let me inside you.” 

He pressed his cock against her tight center, moaning and just how hot and wet and fucking soft she felt. He watched, almost obsessed, as she opened to take him, the stretch almost obscene as he saw himself start to disappear into her body. 

“See baby?” He panted as he sank just the first few inches of him into her cunt. “You can take it, taking it so good for me. She stretches so fuckin’ pretty for me, so goddamn pretty.” 

Her hands flew to his biceps as he leaned over her, pressing himself deeper, her fingers scrambling over his muscle as he worked her open. Joel fought to think of anything but the fact that he was almost fully inside the woman he’d been longing for for weeks now. He couldn’t come too quick, he couldn’t let this end now. He had to take his time, had to feel her come around him. 

And then he was buried inside her to the root, the entirety of him in the entirety of her, her walls stretching to hold him. 

“There you go,” he praised her. He splayed his hand wide over her thick, soft lower stomach, pressing into her skin as his thumb slid down to her clit and started stroking it. “Did so good, taking me so well. You ever been this stretched baby?” 

“No daddy,” her nails dug into his arm. “Feels so good…” 

“Good girl,” he said, working her clit a little harder. She moaned and rocked her hips against him. “Aw, does someone need to be fucked? Someone need me to make her come?” 

“Yes,” she pleaded. “Please, please, please Daddy, please, I need to come, I need…” 

“I’ve got you baby,” he said, leaning over her and kissing her deeply, the taste of her mouth mixing with the taste of her pussy that lingered on his tongue. “Gonna make you come so hard for me.” 

He pulled back before thrusting forward, hard and fast and making her gasp, her hands flying from his arms to his back. But he stopped her, taking hold of her arms and pinning them over her head with one of his large hands. 

“You can use those when I tell you,” he said. “Right now, need you focused on taking,” he pulled back and thrust back in quickly. “This.” He did it again, fucking into her hard and fast. “Cock.” He did it one last time before grinding himself deep. “Tell me when you’re about to come.” 

He picked up his pace then, fucking into her deep and firm, grinding his hips down against her clit, feeling how her breasts moved against him as he forced her walls apart with each heavy stroke. 

Joel didn’t let up, too lost in her and just how damn good she felt to do anything else. He wasn’t even sure how long he’d been fucking her - just that it wasn’t long enough - when her breathy, desperate voice broke through the lust-driven haze of his mind. 

“I’m gonna come,” she keened, her pussy to tight around him that it almost hurt. “Gonna come, I’m gonna come Daddy, please…” 

He freed her hands then and she gasped, her fingers immediately finding the broad expanse of his back. Joel took her face in his hands and looked into those eyes of hers, unlike anything else he’d ever seen as he felt how her body took his. 

“Good girl,” he said, breathless and needy, too. “Come for me, come all over my cock, that’s it, so good for me…” 

The chorus of praise continued until she cried out, her whole body seizing as her channel gripped him so tight he was almost afraid it would force him out. But he held himself deep inside her, kissing her as she moaned into his mouth as she throbbed around him. His orgasm took hold, amazed for the half second he was aware enough to think that he’d been able to hold off this long, emptying himself deep inside of her. 

“Fuck,” she moaned, panting for breath as they both came down from their shared high. Joel had all but collapsed on top of her and he adjusted, pulling himself gently from her body and feeling their combined spend leaking from her as he did. He lay beside her and she turned to look at him. “That… I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything like that.” 

He smiled a little. 

“Me either.” 

She smiled back. 

“I think we’ll have to do that again sometime,” she said. 

“Only if you let me take you out first,” Joel said. “Don’t think I can get enough of you in bed. Think I’m gonna need as much as you’ll let me have outside it, too.” 

Ashley reached out and carded her fingers through his thick, shaggy curls. 

“I think we can make that work.” 

[thesoulspulse]

Haunted/Lost Soul & Final Epitaph Cast

I'm kinda cheating with this one since most of these aren't oc's, just genderbent au versions of some characters in the show. In these fanfics I was a lot more selective about who I genderbent and who I left alone for the sake of the narrative. Like Vlad for example, he's still the same for the most part except he becomes insanely overprotective of Danielle from the get-go so they're all very badger-cereal focused.

Haunted Soul: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14016455/1/Haunted-Soul

Final Epitaph (Haunted Soul Sequel): https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14129141/1/Final-Epitaph

Lost Soul (Alternate TUE Fanfiction): https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13761033/1/Lost-Soul?

Danielle/Dani Fenton (Haunted/Lost Soul & Final Epitaph): Not to be confused with Ellie, aka canon Danny's clone, this is Dani Fenton who is the genderbent version. Like the original Danny she loves astrology and space travel and hangs out with her best friends Sam and Trish. Unfortunately, her relationship with her parents isn't too good (Haunted Soul) and in the most extreme case scenario (Lost Soul) they even go so far as to kick her out of Fenton Works for being half-ghost so she ends up going to Vlad for help. I also wanted to expand on her ice powers more to help set her apart from the usual Danny we know. Things don't start off great between her and Vlad either but eventually they find some common ground, learning how to trust people again through each other, and becoming a great father/mentor and student/daughter duo.

Leo the Cat (Lost Soul): He's the kitty Vlad gifts Dani to make her feel more at home in the mansion. Too bad he was overshadowed by Nocturne to infiltrate their home, a rare ghost who can also suppress his ghost signature. Once that's all settled though Leo becomes a perfectly normal cat who absolutely adores his new owners!

Jason/Jace Fenton (Haunted/Lost Soul & Final Epitaph):: As the genderbent version of Jazz, Jason stays the same for the most part except he's even more overprotective of his younger sister because their parents are pretty toxic people in this AU. So when Vlad steps up to take care of her, Jason is on his side all the way. Especially after finding out how they bonded through their shared ghost portal trauma during the reunion their parents dragged them to. Jason even stayed another extra year in high school to make sure Dani would be alright without him running interference with Jack and Maddie at home.

Samson/Sam Manson (Haunted/Lost Soul & Final Epitaph): It was a challenge coming up with a formal name for my genderbent Sam but at least the first name got to stay the same! I really exaggerate his emo-goth attitude when it comes to Dani and protecting her, even going so far as to verbally lash out at Vlad for what a jerk he was to her when they first met. Not to mention how he left Sam in the woods alone to look for Dani, who had fallen under Freakshow's mind control (Haunted Soul).

Trish Foley (Haunted/Lost Soul & Final Epitaph): I still think my genderbent Tucker turned out amazing and I love Trish so much! She still gets jealous of Dani from time to time but thankfully Trish never lets it get too bad. Like Tucker, Trish loves techology, but this time around she's really into making synthetic music and recording videos of Dani singing. You can really tell why these two are best friends although sometimes it's not easy when ghost hunting gets especially dangerous for the non-powered members of the group. Yet they always find a way and Trish is surprisingly good at keeping Sam's temper in check by being the voice of reason instead of it going the other way around.

Vallen Grey (Haunted/Lost Soul & Final Epitaph): This time, ironically, Vlad made Vallen a ghost hunter to actually help rather than hinder Dani. He also warms up to her a lot faster after learning she pulled some strings with Vlad's help- aka Vlad pretended Dani brought the problem to his attention- so his dad could keep his job at Axion Labs. So he definitely has a soft spot for her thanks to that plus I wrote Vallen in such a way as to be a good-natured guy from the start who indirectly kept the popular kids off Dani's back as much as possible.

Freakshow (Haunted Soul): It was a challenge to make an au version of Freakshow attractive but I'd say I did a good job. Too bad he's WAY more evil than the original too and makes the fatal mistake of targeting Vlad's precious little badger which causes her to temporarily lose her memories. Enraged, Vlad impulsively sneaks into the Amity Park penitentiary to confront him and accidentally grants his greatest wish to become a ghost, which ends up only making him a greater threat to Dani. Eventually Dani overcomes his hypnotic spell and with Vlad's help, they defeat Freakshow and Vlad crushes his core to ensure that freak will never be able to threaten her again.

Banshee (Final Epitaph): This brief encounter leads to several interesting discoveries with Dani's powers, but unfortunately she had to lose her voice to a banshee who has stolen many beautiful voices over the years. The Banshee also raises Kelpies in the Ghost Zone, an endangered species of man-eating mystical horses who live underwater. Much like Freakshow however, Vlad teaches her a painful lesson not to mess with Dani by ripping out her vocal cords (yikes) with cruel surgical precision after the fact while Dani is unconscious from using her new ability to create attacks using powerful sound waves.

Nocturne & his Dreamweavers (Final Epitaph and Lost Soul): This is my take on a good Nocturne au where he indirectly guides people by weaving threads from the Tapestry of Fate into their dreams with the help of the three Fates and his Dreamweavers. In "Final Epitaph" he wants to learn what role Dani and Vlad have to play in a possible future where the Ghost King returns once more to dominate both their worlds. Similarly, in "Lost Soul" Nocturne misinterprets a vision and decides to take matters into his own hands to trap Dani inside of her own dream to prevent a terrible future from taking place where she becomes full ghost and destroys everything, turning the Earth itself into a frozen wasteland.

Astra (Lost Soul): I'm surprised more people haven't tried to do this in the phandom honestly, make a genderbent Dan equivilant I mean. Well that's who this is! I named her Astra as a nod to Dani's love for astrology. As for what she's like, well, basically she's an ice queen that revels in destruction and chaos who instead of being a fusion of Dani's ghost half and Vlad's, she absorbed Nocturne's power instead to plunge the entire Earth into an icy sleep of death.

The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse (Final Epitaph & Dirge, aka the old version of the story): I'll just ignore the old design for Death's horse and just show off the current one instead. Anyways, these are the four steeds that belong to the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Death (White), Famine (Green), Conquest (Nightmare), and War (Red).

Prince Dorian (Haunted Soul and Final Epitaph): Last but not least we have my genderbent Princess Dorathea, aka Prince Dorian. I originally wrote him in for a one off encounter but then enjoyed it so much I wanted to include him again. Guess I'm a sucker for chivalrous types! He's such a sweetheart and feels indebted to Dani for saving him from the Banshee, who had mesmerized him while he was trying to help find and retrieve her stolen voice from that wicked woman.

P.S. There are two more oc's I haven't drawn but I'll add them here as a two honorable mentions. Their names are Cedric, he's the cook, and Isla, she's Vlad's housekeeper.

[strmborns]

TLOU: Endure and Survive

Spoilers for The Last of Us episode 5 bellow

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“Super Sam,” that boy is the cutest

Henry looked straight into Joel’s eyes, I loved that. And I have to say Pedro is even more attractive from far away

“He has an asshole voice,” he does and Joel can’t even lie, or won’t bother

SAM IS SO CUTE I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF HIM

Its so weird seen Joel without his backpack

The children’s room… so fucking sad

Ellie and Sam playing football 😍

“You might not be her father, but you were someone’s,” I WAS WAITING FOR THIS LINE

I mean obviously I’m siding with Henry, but I like how they are showing us both sides. Why Henry did what he did and the hurt it caused people. That being said, Kathleen is unhinged

THE FUCKING SNIPPER SCENE

Joel is in full dad mode already

I feel so bad for Joel, he was literally begging the old man not to shoot. We can tell he is tired of killing people

Guess we found out where all the infected went

This child infected was so gross but she also saved the day

So Joel didn’t have to kill the big infected like I did… so unfair

The whole infected scene was just insane for me

Kathleen talking about how maybe Sam was just supposed to die just really went there with the whole fate thing. He dodged death a couple of times and in the middle of that madness he was the one that got bit, this 8 year old child’s fate was to die, a very tragic death

“I’m scared of ending up alone,” my poor baby what did they do to you on part II

I don’t really remember this part in the game, but Ellie so desperately trying to help Sam broke my heart

“Stay awake with me,” I’M IN TEARS

Joel begging Henry to give him the gun, knowing what he would do, and Ellie just confused. I can’t take it

[deathssunshine]

*Jumin Han and Victor Li cross over Head Cannon*

🤍A cross over of Jumin (mystic messenger) and Victor (Mr love queen's choice)🤍

~Description: I never really saw any fan fics out there of victor and jumin crossing over. I think they would be good friends in all honesty.~

Warning: bad language, two idiots being two idiots, jumin driving 😟 and victor almost dying several times. I tried to be serious for four dot points but ended up failing on the fifth, my shit taste in humor I'm sorry if the jokes are that bad 😭, SOME INFORMATION IS PROBABLY WRONG LMAO

Genre: man I love guys tits, I'm just bored

Word count:

Game: mystic messenger, Mr love queen choice

Pairings: no pairing just them being best friends

Character: Jumin Han and Victor Li

*Victor Li and Jumin Han cross over*

When they first meet it's for business reasons. Let's just say their fathers used to be good friends in university and haven't seen each other since then. They met at LFG for the first time and instantly knew they would get along. They shook hands and introduced themselves "I'm victor Li" "nice to meet you I'm Jumin Han".

From there they would go out to souvenir to get to know each other on the request of their fathers.

Earlier that day victor had made croissants that were still in the oven by the time he got back. He pulled them out of the oven and smiled at how good they looked. He then cut the croissants in half and put the best ham and cheese around and put it between the croissants. He brought the plates out to jumin and asked Mr mills to bring the coffee he had made.

They talked for a bit and jumin really admired victors cooking.

Jumin then went into a 30 minute rant about his cat Elizabeth the third.

"She sheds 3 to 28 strands of fur a minute" Jumin says proudly as he was showing victor shakey images of Elly. "... Why would you even count that? And why are you talking about her as if she is your daughter?" Victor would respond looking at the man as if he were insane. "Well first off, because she's my daughter and second of all, because she's my daught-... That reminds me of a conversation I had awhile ago about making scarves out of cat hair" "fucking what" "I should start looking into that again" "please shut up"

Jumin would then offer to drive (😟) victor somewhere, claiming he saw a nice place in the way to LFG. He would use the car driver Kim was using which was a loan and is great for city roads. At first it wasn't so bad, just a little rusty but not too bad for victor to worry over it. But then he takes a detour and drives off road onto a nature path somehow not crashing the car as he turns on the radio for it to be on a highosh volume where they have to raise their voice for each other to hear. Victor clings on for dear life starting to worry "How did you get your licence!" Victor yells as he thinks of any possible ways to get out. "Oh! It expired actually! Around I don't know.. 2 or 5 years ago?!" "WHAT" Jumin smiles as he turns the radio up even higher. The song playing is free bird specifically the "free bird yeah*guitar solo*" part which is at the very end of the song.

As the guitar solo plays jumin ends up driving off the cliff and they both end up in hospital 🤍

After recovering the two hang out again at the penthouse jumin is staying at. "I don't know anymore victor.. it just feels loose?" Jumin says standing in front of Victor, in only a bathrobe. "Why would your dick feel loose? It's not like it's screwed in. Are you missing a nut or something?" Victor says with a cocky grin. "Maybe.." he says. A nut and screw falls onto the floor then metal dick falls and all they can hear is the metal pipe sound. A rocket then shoots out of the tip and into victor sending him back to the hospital.

They become best friends and victor has this bathroom where they can shit AND arm wrestle at the same time!

How sweet is that!

Their cats would definitely be good friends too. Maybe they might fall in love.

"are you gay?" "Fuck you victor."

Lol thanks for reading -etchartfan

[cptnbeefheart]

What are your thoughts on the Tommy- Ellie relationship in the series

Because I was expecting for them to get closer and have Tommy teacher her how to use a rifle insided of Joel

Idk I was a little disappointed

i really appreciated the subtle (and not so subtle) ways that joel&tommy's relationship was adapted differently! in the game, they get into a big argument ( the 'JESUS, BUOAH!' clip) about joel's expectation for tommy to take ellie off of his hands. and tommy straight up tells joel he is too busy establishing the Jackson commune that he cannot afford to take ellie, ESPECIALLY given their pasts together. there's a lot of tension between the two in the game, and i think they adapted that aspect of their relationship really well.

In the series, this same conflict is just as confrontational as the game, but less aggressive and accusatory. tommy obviously still cares for joel which is evidenced by his willingness to fulfill joel's duty of taking ellie to marlene and the fireflies. I much prefer the adaptations approach to Joel asking Tommy to take Ellie-- its a lot more human and easy to sympathize with whereas game joel feels almost entitled, and like this strong & stoic white dude archetype that is common for video game protagonists. Tommy's relationship to ellie is just a result of his relationship with joel.

i think the change of tommy now being a father in the show does add a new layer to his future relationship with ellie. there's never a possibility for tommy to have any real dynamic with ellie in part 1 of the game, but with this change in the show it makes me wonder what wouldve happened if tommy ended up taking ellie to the fireflies in this adaptation.. would he make the same choices joel did now that he's a father ? would joel sit around for another 20 years having contempt for life and pushing away any form of emotional vulnerability like he does before he's tasked with delivering ellie to marlene ?

in part two, theres a lot more room for tommy and ellie to actually have a real relationship! they interact with each other a lot more, so im wondering how season two will deviate from the game with this new development of tommy being a father :3

sorry i hope this makes sense. if it doesnt basically my point is that if you're willing to watch gameplay of part two, the tommy-ellie dynamic is explored a little more! i think i may be going insane

[casspurrjoybell-25]

Skating on Thin Ice - Chapter 19 - Part 2

*Warning - Adult Content*

Elijah Ellis

"I came here to fix my relationship with you. You're fucking insane if you think I'm going there."

"Watch your mouth," Dave barked, standing up from his seat.

"Don't speak like that in front of your mother."

I shook my head.

"Fuck you. You're both fucking insane."

A sudden collision to my face sent me stumbling back into the wall, smacking my head against it.

It took a few seconds for it to register that Dave had just punched me.

"Dave," Mom screeched, standing up from her chair.

She grasped his arm to stop him from coming toward me.

Warm blood poured out of my nose and the side of my face throbbed in pain.

I moved my hand up to my face to feel where he punched and found that it was already swelled up and felt warm to my touch.

"You need to learn respect," Dave seethed, moving forward.

I gave him an evil glare and shook my head, moving away from the wall to walk around him.

He grabbed my arm as I walked by.

"Dave, don't," Mom pleaded.

I roughly pulled my arm from his grasp and stormed out of the house, bringing my cell-phone up to my ear to call Fox.

I didn't even notice I was crying until the hot tears stung my wounded face.

"What's up?" Fox answered.

"Can you come pick me up?" I sniffled, cursing myself for not being able to keep my composure.

"Are you alright?" he asked, sounding alarmed.

"Fox, please," I begged.

"Send me your location," Fox said, sounding as if he was walking outside.

After he received my location he asked...

"Do you want me to stay on the phone?" I shook my head, holding back a sob.

"No. I'll see you when you get here."

I hung up the cell-phone and began walking in the direction I knew Fox would be coming from.

I brought my hands up to my face, rubbing my eyes with a heels of my hands, causing the throbbing on my bruised face to intensify.

I dragged my feet down the sidewalk, choking back sobs that violently pulled through my chest.

I knew going to see my mother wouldn't end well but I was dumb enough to let myself believe that she would be accepting of me.

But instead, the worst happened and she thought of me as someone who needed to be fixed and that was what hurt the most.

It didn't take long for Fox to pull up next to me, alarm in his eyes as he zeroed in on my face.

I sniffled and took a deep breath before sliding into the passenger's seat.

"What the hell happened?" Fox boomed as soon as I was in the car.

"Did your mom do this to you?"

He gestured toward my bleeding face.

I let out a humorless laugh and shook my head, wiping tears from my eyes.

"No. Dave, my step-father did."

Fox's eyes turned the darkest shade I had ever seen them.

His jaw was taut and his lips were tightly pressed together.

He looked like steam was going to pour out from his ears at any moment.

"Where's the house?" he asked in a deathly quiet tone, looking behind him.

"Fox, don't," I pleaded in a bland tone.

"Don't what? You don't know what I'm going to do."

"You're thinking about going back there and fighting with Dave," I retorted with a knowing look.

"I know you."

"You can't just let him get away with hitting you," Fox exclaimed, looking at me with wide eyes, his expression telling me that he thought I was being crazy.

"I don't even care about that," I mumbled, looking down at my lap just in time to see a tear splash onto my pants.

"My mom wants to send me to some conversion therapy camp."

Fox's stony expression turned sympathetic at my words.

His jaw slacked and he looked at me with sad eyes, shaking his head. He threw his hand through his hair and let out an exaggerated sigh.

He reached out to touch my face but I flinched away.

"Let me see it," he commanded, putting his hand on my face.

Fox looked at the wound for a few seconds before shaking his head and taking his hand back.

"Shit," he harshly cursed.

"I shouldn't have told you to go there."

I shook my head.

"Shut up."

His lips quirked up a bit but he didn't let himself fully smile.

Then, Fox did what I thought he would never do.

Fox leaned over the center console and wrapped me in a tight hug.

The warmth and comfort I felt in his embrace caused my emotions to come flooding back to me.

I buried my face in his shoulder as I cried, a loud sob ripping out of my throat.

Fox comfortingly rubbed my back as I wept.

I felt secure in his arms, like nothing could ever get to me as long as he was shielding me.

It was the sense of belonging I had been yearning for, it was a feeling of being home.

"We have to go to your house and tell your dad," Fox murmured into my ear in a low tone.

"No," I cried.

"Elijah, we have to," Fox urged, continuing his steady pace while rubbing circles on my back.

"He needs to know some man hit his son. That's kinda a big deal."

"I know, it's just..." I sighed.

"He's going to get so angry."

"As he should."

"Can we just go to your place for a little bit?" I asked, picking my head up from his shoulder.

Fox looked down at me and his expression said that he was contemplating my request.

He shook his head.

"I think the sooner your dad knows about this, the better."

I studied his sympathetic expression and let my eyes linger to the scar on his eyebrow.

My eyebrows pinched together in confusion.

"How did you get that?" I asked him.

"How did I get what?"

"The scar on your eyebrow," I clarified.

Fox's expression soured.

"Fighting with Wren when we were kids," he told me with a sigh.

"What happened?"

"We were fighting, he pushed me down face first into the corner of the coffee table," Fox explained with a shrug.

"There was so much blood. My mom was freaking out she thought I was going to lose my eye but it was just a deep cut."

I hummed in understanding, nodding my head, resting my head back on his shoulder.

"Okay, now that you're done trying to distract me, let's head to your house," Fox said in a knowing tone.

I sighed and pulled away from him, wiping some stray tears from my eyes.

Fox looked at me for a few moments with an unreadable expression before reaching over and wiping his thumb under my eye.

I didn't dare thank him but I let my expression show him that I was grateful.

Fox pulled away from the curb and we made our way to my house.

The ride there was silent, not even the radio was on.

My nerves caused an uncomfortable ache in my stomach that matched the throbbing on my face.

I looked over at Fox and noticed a red spot on his shirt.

"I got a little blood on your shirt," I told him, pointing toward the spot.

He just shrugged.

"I can wash it."

When we finally reached my house, I noticed that both Dad and Mandy were home.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Fox asked after he parked the car at the curb.

I couldn't even get a word out so I just nodded and then the two of us made our way up to the house.

Once we were inside, it was quiet.

"Dad?" I called out.

"Just a minute, Elijah," he called back.

A few moments later he was jogging up the basement steps and walking into the living room.

The wide smile on his face was quickly wiped away when he got a good look at me.

His gaze switched from me to Fox and back to me within two seconds.

"What's going on? Are you alright?" he questioned, rushing over to me.

Dad took my face in his hands to examine my wound.

"I went to see Mom today," I admitted.

Dad's face darkened as he slightly pulled away from me, keeping his hands on my face.

"Did Dave do this to you?" he asked in an icy tone.

I let out a sigh and rehashed everything that happened while I was at my mother's.

Dad intently listened, his gaze never leaving mine as he spoke.

When I was finished, the explosion happened.

"I'm going over there right now," Dad seethed, moving to grab his car keys from the hook they hung on.

"Dad, don't," I pleaded but he didn't listen.

I looked to Fox for help but he just shrugged.

"I'm not letting them get away with this Elijah," Dad sternly told me.

"Both of their actions were uncalled for."

I wanted to stop him but Fox grabbed a hold of my shoulder.

I turned and gave him a scowl.

"Just let him go," Fox said and the two of us watched as my father stormed out of the house.

[asakiyumemishiii]

!!!WARNING!!! - TLOU spoilers 4 both part 1 n 2 - i also get a bit NSFW when i talk about Joel at times (MINORS DNI THOSE 2 PARA!! THERE’S A WARNING WHEN I START <3) - nothing i'm saying is new. i have no original thoughts!! literally just a post about everything i felt while watching the game ~(>_<。)

the whole reason i got in2 TLOU was ‘cus that one, 'Remember, when you're lost in the darkness, look for the light,' audio on TikTok was trending n everyone was like, 'omg TLOU audio!!' n i was like ??? what is TLOU ??? n then it just all went downhill from there. TLOU has consumed my life in its entirety since the start of July. what a cute coincidence that i get in2 TLOU on the game’s 10th anniversary ヾ(≧▽≦*)o anyway TLOU talk time :3333

DISCLAIMER: i didn't play the game myself ‘cus i don't have any type of console (n i don't play video games) so i watched MKIcenFire's gameplay of the TLOU Remake on PS5 n it was like 12 hours long i think n i watched it twice. then i watched the HBO show, then i watched the same guy play TLOU2. okay anyway i know the game well enough (I HOPE!! I THINK!!) also i read Reddit posts about the game's ending in p2 ‘cus i think other people’s take on it is soooo fun 2 read. if anything i say here is straight up just the wrong take like just ‘cus i'm stupid or missed the point of something, do NOT tell me ‘cus i will start crying immediately but tbh i will probably also not care sorry.

okay so,,,the whole game??? is a masterpiece??? plot-wise n visuals n MUSIC n characters???????????? EVERYTHING IS SO WELL WRITTEN ARGDHFHSHS i loved it. i'm not a gamer btw like the only 'games' i play are Taiko no Tatsujin (PC) n i watched people play undertale but that's it i guess so i don’t have anything 2 compare TLOU 2 but omg it's so good 2 me just as it is AHHHHH.

i'm so bad at being coherent. <///3

anyway everything i'm about 2 say is not going 2 be anything that hasn't already been said but i need an OUTLET!!! i think the game is so fun n maybe it's my own insane raging daddy issues but watching the Ellie (cargo) 2 Ellie (babygirl) pipeline was SO healing 2 me (n also absolutely devastating) like HOLY SHIT HE'S JUST A FATHER 4 READ!1!1!

okay gonna talk right now about how i feel about Joel n Abby ‘cus i have the most opinions about them `(*>﹏<*)′

i know TLOU1 is like Moral Dilemma the game but like i just think it's so simple really. Joel did what he did ‘cus Ellie became someone he really cares about. IMO he never really stopped being a father so Ellie just becomes his youngest daughter n a father's love knows no bounds, doesn't it? he quite literally did everything in his power 2 make sure no one would hurt his own n i think that's so... insane,,, (i wish dads were real)

i don't understand people who hate on Joel like actually *hate* him with their whole life. if they hate him ‘cus of what he used 2 do (being a hunter, etc…) then like,, that's stupid ‘cus he had 2 do what he had 2 do 2 survive. n maybe at the time that was the only way he knew how 2. he's a bad guy ‘cus he did bad guy things (like henry said) but that doesn't necessarily mean he's not a good guy or that he can't redeem himself i don’t know it just seems weird 2 not like him ‘cus of what he used 2 do that we didn't even explicitly see, n was only stated. also i get that people hate him ‘cus of what he did ‘cus like, yeah, i get it, he DID take away Ellie's right 2 'save' the world n he took her out of there without her consent BUT she's also a minor (yes i know laws don't matter but you know,, it's the principle of it i don’t know) n he decided 2 make the choice 4 her ‘cus she obviously couldn't do it herself n i think it was the right choice. also the fireflies didn't give her an option either like damn they couldn't at least ask her if she wanted 2 like say goodbye 2 Joel i don’t know like yeah ik in p2 she said she would have wanted 2 die 4 the cure but like she wasn't even told that making it would entail her dying ‘cus she explicitly stated that she wants 2 follow Joel after everything was over, so like,, yeah Joel took her choice away 2 save her life but the fireflies were going 2 force her 2 die 4 a cure that they themselves weren't even 100% sure would work. n 4 what??? she's the only immune person alive as far as they know n they won't even do SOME kind of tests first ON ELLIE 2 find shit out like i don’t know it seems kinda pointless 2 just kill her like that just 4 a chance of a vaccine. i know Dr Anderson did SOME testing b4 n a lot of research like we can see all the scans when he was talking 2 Marlene in p2 but did he do any testing on Ellie herself? i don’t know. ik all this what-ifs don't even matter n i'm just trying 2 justify Joel's actions but it's the thoughts i have hhhh like let's say the vaccine does get made... who is going 2 ensure that everyone gets a fair chance 2 have it? you're telling me FEDRA or the fireflies are gonna distribute it or something like that?? like it's not possible. also how would they get the vaccine 2 everyone in the world?? n like you think the raiders or hunters are gonna care that they're vaccinated n suddenly be good again? they're just gonna be better at murdering n like also what about all the infected. there's way 2 many of them. sure with a vaccine, lives would have been better but they're still living in a post-apocalyptic world, n more people are going 2 die than be saved n i like 2 imagine that Joel knew all this (maybe) n he chose Ellie anyway.

actually i don’t care i like 2 think he immediately stopped thinking when Marlene said they have 2 kill Ellie 2 make a 'cure' n he just didn't care about anything else anymore. yeah that fits better in my head !!

this text post is all over the place anyway uhmm Abby time.

i'm gonna put it out there right now: i do NOT fuck with her at all. also let's normalise understanding a character, all their motifs n everything n still being able 2 dislike them. i hate people who are like 'oh if you dislike/hate Abby then you obviously don't understand her character' LIKE???? yes, i understand her??? her character is literally a parallel 2 Ellie's. Abby's redemption mirrors Ellie's damnation. 'you can't get mad at Abby 4 killing Joel when he killed her father.' like shut up yes i can?? in fact here i am getting mad right now. it's a cycle that never ends. Joel kills Jerry, Abby kills Joel, Ellie kills Abby's friends while searching 4 her 2 get revenge, Abby kills Ellie's friends ‘cus Ellie killed hers, n it just continues. they're both doing 2 each other the exact same thing each of them are doing 2 the other. their motivations behind all their actions are literally the same. i get it. if one side starts, the other doesn't stop. they're literally 2 sides of the same coin, i get it. i totally understand why Abby did what she did. but that DOESN'T mean i have 2 like her??? Abby dick riders getting mad n pissy when ppl don't like her as if she's not the literal antagonist of TLOU2 when you play as Ellie. she's the other playable protagonist when you play as her obviously but when it's Ellie's pov, she's obviously the villain ?? just like how Ellie is the antagonist when you play as Abby??? or at least they're both the anti-hero,, maybe,, in each other's storyline. anyway i don't care 4 Abby. i understand her character but i still dislike her. 'you only hate her ‘cus she killed Joel!' yeah… exactly. i also am aware that as someone who is insane about Joel, i am being hypocritical right now ‘cus the people who hate Joel are probably the same people who like Abby n vice versa. anyway moving on. i also don't particularly understand why people say hating Abby = hating Ellie. like yeah they're extremely similar but like,, we played around 15 hours of TLOU1 like obviously i have a stronger emotional connection with Ellie n Joel??? is that a superficial reason 2 dislike Abby?? yes but i don’t care!!! i do not fuck with her at all!!! yes i understand that Abby has gone through things that deserve sympathy/empathy 2, but like... i'm still inclined 2 be more biased about Ellie n Joel though... also like Abby told her dad that she would want him 2 do the surgery on her but i think it's easy 2 say that when you're not the one actually doing it. like we all would probably say we don't mind dying 4 a good ‘cus until we actually have 2 die n it's like,,, I DON’T KNOW like it just seems so simple 4 her 2 say she would die 4 the vaccine but she's only saying it 2 make her dad feel better n ‘cus she's not the one actually going through with it you know???? rhfjdjfjjdhh i don’t know i hope so far i'm making sense. also Dr Anderson never answered Marlene when she asked if he would do the surgery on Abby, which is an answer in itself, n that's soooo hypocritical of him 4 real sigh

okay i think that's all the character opinions i have (probably i don’t know) now i'm gonna talk about the scenes that drive me CRAZY

UHMMM THE 'you're not my daughter, and i sure as hell ain't your dad.' OH MY GOD??? the first time i saw it i paused n almost threw up ‘cus if someone i thought was a father figure, or just like the first adult that didn't disappoint me in my life since i came out of the womb, said that 2 me when i am quite literally begging them not 2 abandon me, i would simply just drop dead n die n you would never hear from me again. THE UP N DOWN GLANCE HE GIVES ELLIE LIKE HE'S SIZING HER UP 2 B4 HE SAYS IT????? Ellie is better than me 4 real ‘cus i would never forgive him 4 that (lying, i would forgive him if he stabbed me 4 fun) like holy shit he hit her where it HURT. yes i know he did it ‘cus he was scared that he already got so attached 2 her but JEEZ MAN that's BRUTAL. the way her eyes LITERALLY drop n you can see every miniscule detail on her face detailing how HURT she felt when he said that... graphics were INSANE

GOING FROM THAT 2 THE 'oh babygirl...' SCENE??????????? WHIPLASH IS REAL BYE. ofc not 2 push aside everything that happens in between ‘cus Ellie fought like hell 2 keep Joel alive. ARGHHHH she never left him even when he asked her 2 n even when he wanted 2 leave her first, she never gave up on him :((( they care about each other SO MUCH i'm going 2 be SICK. right okay, the babygirl scene??? it felt like my heart was being healed from all the angst 4 real. the way his face is SO soft when he's trying 2 get her back 2 him like OH MY GOD also the fact that there's dialogue but no subtitles or voiceover so it's up 2 the audience's intepretation 2 tell us what Joel says 2 her when he's CRADLING her face is so fucked up. ‘cus i know some people think he's saying 'i'll promise i'll never leave you again' n some think he's saying 'i promise i'll never let anyone hurt you again' n TBH EITHER WAY, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT 4 REAL LIKE TBH I'M GLAD LOWKEY THERE WASN'T ANY VOICEOVER ‘CUS I WOULD NEVER STOP REPLAYING IT. BUT I WISH THERE WAS A CONFIRMATION OF WHAT HE SAID. THE WAY ELLIE'S EYES GLAZED OVER N JOEL JUST KEEPS HOLDING ON 2 HER N MAKES SURE SHE'S LOOKING DIRECTLY AT HIM WHEN HE'S COMFORTING HER??? i cannot fathom being loved that much, like it's actually UNREAL 2 me.

okay here's where it gets NSFW a bit so MINORS DNI this paragraph PLEASE thanks!! anyway i have a woman hard on 4 Joel the second he was introduced. yes i have daddy issues, next question. anyway he's SO fucking fine n he's a good father so double smash. everytime he came on2 screen, so did i. uhm the scene where Joel is torturing david's men, i replayed it 8347345 times n tbh with one hand 2 (/hj) n LIKE.. Joel beating a bloater with JUST a MACHETE like yes the bloater alrdy took some damage b4 but HOLY SHIT that scene was hot. Joel was always constantly hot n the creators KNEW what they were doing when they designed him... like that,, n gave him THOSE voice lines,, search Joel Miller voice lines on YT n just close your eyes bro that shit is straight up P*RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i genuinely think he's so attractive. i would let him do the most atrocious heinous filthy things 2 me. you CANNOT leave me alone with him ‘cus i would not let him out. i would find a way 2 mesh our bodies tgt (☆▽☆) he's genuinely so handsome n fine!! i literally want 2 stick a straw in his tip n suck his milk. i am so sorry 4 making anyone read that but i mean it unfortunately. if i was in TLOU i couldnt be trusted 2 patrol with Joel ‘cus he would probably kill something or someone 4 my sake n brush it off as nothing n then i would tackle him n start sucking n fucking him so good like we would not make it back 2 base. we're going twenty rounds with no breaks. the only break he'll be doing is breaking my back n splitting my pu$$y in half with his massive cock.

OKAY ENOUGH

Ellie's 15th birthday :( i'm a space kid so it just hits SO hard,, like everything he did 4 her. the dinosaurs n the planets. the way this part was only like.. i don’t know less than one hour of the whole game n it was the happiest part of the game imo (uhm Dina n Ellie n JJ are bittersweet 2 me OKAY!!) THE WAY THEY TEASE N BANTER N LIKE ARE GENUINELY SO ADORING WITH EACH OTHER. Joel pushing her in2 the water n jumping in 4 her when she asks. JOEL FINDING HER THE COUNTDOWN TAPE. HOW FUCKING HARD DO YOU THINK THAT WAS HUH? ASKING IF HE DID OKAY??? HE'S LITERALLY SO FUCKING SWEET!!!! HE'S JUST A FATHER WHO LOVES HIS DAUGHTER BRO PLEASE GOD LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! THE WAY HE WAS SMILING SO SOFTLY AT HER IN THE SPACESHIP??? HE WAS WATCHING EVERY LITTLE DETAIL 2MAKE SURE SHE WAS REALLY HAPPY.. THE WAY HE BARELY EVEN SMILES IN THE GAME N DURING THIS SCENE HE WAS FUCKING GRINNING BRO OH MY GOD. he literally gave her the moon, stars, n the planets :( they deserved 2 be happy man i fucking HATE TLOU2 HHH they could have had so much together HNGDHFHH Joel didn't even get 2 meet JJ :(

please b4 you come at me with the 'Abby deserved happiness with her father too!' just save it man. i don't care n i don't wanna hear about it like DNI with this post if thats all you wanna say <;3

Joel's death. i knew he was going 2 die but like when i was watching p2 i didn't think it was going 2 happen THAT fast. never cried so hard (lying) 4 real he didn't deserve all that. okay he did (i guess, whatever...) but that shit was cruel n 2 do it in front of Ellie 2... man,, Ashley Johnson needs every award 4 the voice acting in that scene,,, holy shit was it so painful 2 watch 4 FUCKING READ. n the aftermath like when i saw Ellie taking Joel's jacket, my mind immediately went 2 Harry Styles' Cherry where he said, 'i noticed that // there's a piece of you in how i dress,' :( THE WAY SHE BURIES HER FACE IN HIS FABRIC LIKE SHE'S BREATHING HIM IN 4 THE LAST TIME... THE FLOWERS IN FRONT OF HIS HOUSE, THE BLUE HYDRANGEAS SHE LEAVES AT HIS GRAVE SYMBOLISING FORGIVENESS n REGRET ,, THE PIC OF SARAH N  ELLIE ON HIS TABLE :( THE BROCHURE FROM THE DINOSAUR EXHIBITION THAT HE KEPT :( THE WOLF (WLF) N THE MOOSE (JOEL -> PROTECTOR) MOTIF :((( GOD THIS GAME IS SO FUCKING TRAGIC I HATE IT SM literally crying so hard right now. the way Joel’s death was so trauma inducing 4 Ellie that during her breakdown, in her flashback, she recalls what happened n it was so much worse than what actually happened. the stairway being longer n the way she falsely remembers Joel calling out her name n begging 4 help n the way she kept pleading 2 stop??????? i literally hate everything. THE FACT THAT SHE WAS HOLDING JJ ALL THE WHILE 2??? PLEASE MAN,,, WE 4 REAL CAN’T HAVE SHIT!!! ALSO the way the game just literally lost it’s colour after Joel dies like the colours got all muted/ desaturated n all the nature/wonderment we used 2 see in TLOU1 just like disappeared after Joel dies,, mirroring Ellie’s emotions/ state of being BYE that’s so genius i don’t care if it’s obvious HHH it’s such a neat little detail 2 notice.

the scene right before they find the hospital n Joel is holding Ellie’s limp body n he’s frantically, desperately trying 2 see if she’s breathing n he realises she isn’t n the fucking ice cold water i KNOW he feels running down his spine ‘cus the scene is becoming 2 familiar again,, he knows he could never live with himself if he fails another one of his girls… the way he’s just giving her chest compressions even when he could have been shot at any moment n it’s just a perfect bittersweet parallel 2 Sarah’s death GOD he loves his daughters SO fucking much. a father’s love is something i’ll never comprehend or experience ever GOD.

'if somehow, the Lord gave me a second chance at that moment, i would do it all over again.' if someone said that 2 me i would literally start throwing up (but /pos). the fact that Ellie JUST decided 2 try n forgive him n then he just dies... ND kys why would you do that 2 me. Joel could have said something like 'i regret doing what i did,' or 'i'm sorry,' but instead he says he would do it all over again, not knowing how Ellie would react like she's already so angry at him n he doesn't even hesitate 2 say all that even though he knows it could set her off. he stands firm that what he did was right ‘cus 2 him, he would rather have Ellie alive n hating his guts 4 the rest of his life no matter how much that hurts rather than her being killed 4 a world that was beyond saving anyway n that is so insane 2 me 4 real. 2 be loved that deeply that he would damn the whole world just 4 his daughter. please don't talk 2 me. he does not care if she hates him 4 real he just wants her alive n that's SO!!! he's just a dad who loves his little girl :(( n in TLOU2 Ellie, at the heart of it all, is just a little girl who misses her dad :((( i hate this game. ALSO the detail in this scene is CRAZY, you can literally see Joel's lip quivering minisculely n his eyebrow is twitching n he's literally holding back tears BRO GOD he loves Ellie sm n ARGHFJDHS the way after that scene Ellie gets woken up by Jesse the next day n she tells him she overslept but every other time b4 or after the INCIDENT she never has a good night of sleep. DIE.

i don’t really know how i feel about the ending of TLOU2. it’s angsty n all but the boat image being no longer in the dark means that there’s hope 4 Ellie 2 like become better or something like that right? yeah i don’t know i just wish there were more scenes of her with Joel, n Dina (i can never get enough okay) but in all seriousness, despite how many times i’ve said i hate TLOU2 i do think it was a good story. imo tlou1 was great n didn’t necessarily NEED a sequel (stfu let Ellie stay 14 4ever HHHH) but i liked it anyway. i wanna know what happens with Tommy n Maria though, like are they separated separated or does Tommy find a way past his hatred n back 2 her??? n what happens 2 Dina n JJ?? are they okay? does Dina tell him about Ellie n Jesse? oh man i miss Jesse :( he would have made such a good n cool co-parent. ARGHHHDDJ low-key wish i could break in2 the creators’ home n demand these answers {{{(>_<)}}}

hmm some miscellaneous thoughts:

ELLIE IS SOOOOO WOULD’VE, COULD’VE, SHOULD’VE CODED BRO YOU CAN’T TELL ME OTHERWISE.  ‘AND IF I WAS A CHILD, DID IT MATTER? IF YOU GOT TO WASH YOUR HANDS’ n ‘IF YOU NEVER TOUCHED ME, I WOULD’VE GONE ALONG WITH THE RIGHTEOUS’ HELLO???????? literally her entire arc w/ D*vid LIKE that scene where was hunting her was SO scary,, it was scarier than having 2 watch Abby make out with Owen.  [All I used to do was pray // Would've, could've, should've // If you'd never looked my way] how many times do you think Ellie regretted the moment she decided 2 follow D*vid n his friend 4 the medicine. wait- no like not that she regretted trading 4 the meds ‘cus i feel like she would’ve done it again 4 Joel but like she probably would do it safer n less trusting I DON’T KNOW like i bet she feels INSANE thinking about all the ‘what-ifs’ if she never followed D*vid sigh i’m so bad at voicing my thoughts jesus how did i ever score an A 4 my lit analysis when i was in secondary school,, the brain is 4 real crazy. ANYWAY. 

THE BRIDGE??? ‘If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?’ despite already killing D*vid brutally, she’s forever haunted by the trauma it caused n i know she feels like she should just get over it already but she literally can’t ‘cus that was the moment she really killed killed n he tried 2 ruin her n i bet she would do it again but she hates that she probably liked killing him but she’s so right,, Ellie i would do it again n again 2 bae dw. ‘Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts // GIVE ME BACK MY GIRLHOOD IT WAS MINE FIRST’ oh my God… bro,, give her back her girlhood it was hers first 4 fucking real. she never really had girlhood 2 begin with,, FEDRA definitely was shit 2 her, she lost Riley when she disappeared then she lost Riley again when she died then D*vid happens n it’s like,, give her a fucking break jfc bro she never really got 2 be just a girl, or even a child, i don’t know where i’m going with this but that one line is SO her 4 real she just,, every bad thing that happened 2 her was never her fault or deserved like everything that was taken away from her… give it back GIVE IT BACK return everything n everyone that was taken from her bro that’s so fucked. okay the chorus n outro uhm,, ‘And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven’ the satisfaction of killing D*vid is definitely this line, n maybe also everyone she killed while avenging Joel (maybe, but probably not ‘cus i don’t think she liked how violent she became) maybe the pain of her survivor’s guilt was heaven 2 ‘cus it meant she got 2 meet Dina n Jesse n spend more time with Joel 2. ‘And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts // Memories feel like weapons // And now that I know, I wish you'd left me wondering’ LAST LINE IS HER TALKING ABOUT KNOWING THE TRUTH 4 REAL. ‘MEMORIES FEEL LIKE WEAPONS’ Ellie’s PTSD is strong in this one 3:

‘God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be’ Ellie when she had 2 kill her inner child n went on a rampage 2 avenge Joel. Ellie when she learnt the truth n had 2 live with her survivor’s guilt. Ellie when her relationship with Joel got strained n tense not like it used 2 be. Ellie when she lost herself 4 real.  ‘The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind // I regret you all the time // I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep // The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign // I regret you all the time’ literally her relationship with Joel isn’t it?? she lowkey regrets that she met him (IN A WAY) ‘cus he took her choice away 4 her life 2 have meant something n like i know she tries 2 forgive him (n eventually does) but like i don’t know i feel like those lines are so her n Joel. ‘I fight with you in my sleep,’ ‘cus she doesn’t really talk 2 Joel right but she definitely can’t fucking sleep right knowing what he did. i think it hurt 2 much 2 look at him so the only time she actually got mad at him was when she wasn’t awake. (hope that made sense `(*>﹏<*)′ i feel like the regret line isn’t so much talking about her relationship with Joel but rather herself, i feel like it resonates more with how she treated Joel, i just know she wished she could have said that she wanted 2 try 2 forgive him MUCH earlier if she knew she wouldn’t have that much time with him left. also Dina, she probably wishes she could find her again at the end. SIGH

ELLIE IS MY TEARS RICOCHET CODED 2!!!!!!!!!!! ‘AND I CAN GO ANYWHERE I WANT // ANYWHERE I WANT // JUST NOT HOME’ LITERALLY HER AT THE END OF THE GAME ‘CUS SHE’S ‘FREE’ NOW BUT WHERE DOES SHE GO? WHERE WILL SHE GO? WHO WILL SHE TURN 2? BYE FUCK OFF WHERE/WHO IS HER HOME ANYMORE. I HATE IT HERE. ‘You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same’ ELLIE WHEN A PART OF HERSELF DIED WHEN JOEL DIED OR LIKE WHEN SHE KILLED A PART OF HERSELF 2 AVENGE JOEL N LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND ARHGDSFGDFSJH ‘You turned into your worst fears // And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain // Crossing out the good years’ Ellie when she literally became someone she never wanted 2 be n drowned in her need 2 get revenge. ‘And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed’ Ellie n Joel. literally it’s just her missing Joel. i hate bitches 4 real.

Dina deserved better. she straight up deserved SO much better than what Ellie gave her. the way Ellie left her alone in the theatre?? the way Dina was up all night helping with the map n i don't even remember if Ellie said thank you or not?? Dina IMMEDIATELY giving her mask 2 Ellie when hers broke??? Dina being with Ellie every step of the way n Ellie leaving when all Dina wanted was 4 her 2 stay??? ‘prove it, stay,’ DINA WAS BEGGING BRO N ELLIE LEFT N MY FUCKING HEART,,, Dina you deserved so much better ily you are so so so hot 2 me.

i don't want 2 think about Yara n Lev :( they loved each other so much n thinking about them makes me so sad. i also don’t want 2 think about how Abby n Lev parallels Joel n Ellie or anything like that, please leave me alone ＞︿＜

Ellie's descent in2 becoming someone so violent was so devastating 2 witness. she literally had 2 sit down n was nauseous the first time she shot someone in p1 n we see her become this mindless (not really ‘cus she gets ptsd) killing machine in p2 is so crazy (she looked so fucking hot doing it though). she literally loses her mind 2 the violence in order 1 avenge Joel ‘cus she loves him that much, its so twisted. ALSO her saying 2 sam that her biggest fear is ending up alone n THEN IN PART 2 SHE ENDS UP ALONE????? ND KYS THAT'S SO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING

THIS SONG?????? THE SONG JOEL SANG 2 ELLIE,,,  TROY BAKER’S VOICE SINGING IT??? THE GMV?????? the song is literally about Ellie n Joel (TヘT) ‘If I ever were to lose you // I'd surely lose myself’ WHAT THE FUCK someone pulling my heart out while i was conscious would hurt less. ‘All of my stolen missing parts // I've no need for anymore’ Joel when he found Ellie n recovered the part of him he thought he buried when Sarah Died n how he learns how 2 love again MAN. ‘Back when I was feeling broken // I focused on a prayer // You came deep as the ocean’ both Ellie n Joel were looking (if indirectly maybe) 4 something 2 save them from the darkness, internally or not, n they saved each other. THEY SAVED EACH OTHER- Joel found someone 2 love n cherish, n Ellie found someone who loved n cherished her n didn’t just want her 4 her immunity PLEASE they love each other SO MUCH. ‘All the promises at sundown // I meant them like the rest’ Joel talking about caring 4 Ellie, Ellie talking about how she’ll try 2 forgive joel.  ‘Hey angel, I am here to stay // No resistance, no alarms // Please, this is just too good to be gone’ ANGEL???? kys. Joel really did try 2 stay. he tried so hard 2 fight. the last line being some type of foreshadowing towards his death ‘cus i guess good things really do never last. HE JUST WANTED TIME WITH HIS DAUGHTER OKAY. 

HBO Show time :3

i think the show was really good,, holy shit episode 6 when Joel is sniping n he's making sure Ellie gets out of the place as unscathed as possible?? i was like captivated bro i was watching with my eyes wide open n barely breathing ,,, their performance was so good. loved episode 8 obv the babygirl scene was so healing AGAIN. i don’t know i don't really have that much 2 say about the show after watching the game ‘cus like essentially it's all the same except the show cut out some parts n added others. Bill n Frank episode was so tender :( n Joel's monologue 2 Tommy saying all he does is fail Ellie... my God pedro pascal recited his lines PERFECTLY,, director yelled cut but he heard CUNT instead n delivered.

YOU KNOW WHAT sorry 2 get NSFW 4 a bit AGAIN but i sat there clenching my thighs SO TIGHTLY when he gunned down the entire hospital. literally had heart eyes n everything watching that shit.

‘so time heals all wounds, i guess. // it wasn’t time that did it.’ WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. THE WAY HE PURPOSEFULLY MAKES EYE CONTACT WITH ELLIE WHEN HE SAYS IT, LIKE HE FULLY TURNS HIS HEAD 2 MAKE SURE HE MEETS HER EYES SO SHE KNOWS WHAT HE’S GETTING AT N THEN THE EYE CONTACT THEY HOLD AFTER HE SAYS IT N THEY WAY HER EYES WIDEN N IT’S LIKE GOD CAN YOU EMOTIONAL CONSTIPATED BITCHES JUST SAY I LOVE YOU PLEASE ANYWAY THE WAY HE WIPES HIS EYES 2 AFTERWARDS??????? THIS SCENE WAS SO SOFT GOD FUCK

WHY DID THEY CUT OUT THE PART WHERE ELLIE JUMPS IN2 THE WATER WITH HENRY N SAM N HE KEEPS HER AFLOAT LIKE THAT SCENE WAS SOOO IMPORTANT IMO 2 SHOW THAT JOEL THINKING OF HER AS 'CARGO' WAS SLOWLY DETERIORATING I DON’T KNOWJDSSDH BUT THE WAY SHE KNOWS SHE CAN'T SWIM BUT SHE KNOWS JOEL WON'T LET HER DROWN LIKE THE WAY JOEL GOES 'i got you, i got you,' LIKE OMG????? HNHGDHFGDH

WHY DID THEY ALSO TAKE OUT THE SCENE WHERE JOEL LIKE GETS CAUGHT UPSIDE DOWN IN BILL'S TRAP N ELLIE HAS 2 SAVE HIM LIKE THAT SCENE WAS SO FUCKING COOL JDHSDJSDF JOEL WAS SO COOL THERE SIGHHHH

PEDRO PASCAL N BELLA RAMSEY DID SUCH A GOOD JOB OMFG BELLA RAMSEY DESERVES ALL THE AWARDS BRO HOLY SHIT she's such a good actress. their relationship n their chemisty on n off screen is so precious ahhhh they did so good!!!

here r some tiktoks that have me sobbing immediately n gives me immeasurable amounts of grief:

https://www.tiktok.com/@iostlegacy/video/7213479467690249480

this is the edit that got me curious about TLOU in the first place. i was BAMBOOZLED thinking i would get a cute father-daughter duo game (i did but it didn't last) FUCK i love TLOU

https://www.tiktok.com/@cast1ebyerss/video/7242296022716697858

it's the way she becomes this person she obviously doesn't want 2 become,,, which you can tell from the way she gets literal PTSD after the first time she tortures one of Abby's friends 4 information,, like actually tortures,, but she continues doing all that fucked up shit in the name of revenge 4 Joel ‘cus like she loves him SO MUCH!!! ‘when i get home, i’m gonna bury you,’ SHE HAD 2 KILL HER INNER CHILD KYS FUCK anyway the transition from her being all alone n violent 2 her 14 yo self AUGHDHSVSHHSHSHS the way she was she was literally fighting 4 survival during that time (not saying she isnt now like TLOU2) like she was like on 'roadtrip' with  Joel fighting infected almost everyday but she was still so much happier n innocent-er AUGHHHHH the pipeline is 2 real omfg i freaking love Ellie hfhdhdjdbd I love Ellie Williams in my head she is Ellie Miller anyway,,

https://www.tiktok.com/@lcvesrobin/video/7199341136308210950

THE FUCKING TRANSITION FROM TAYLOR'S YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN KID 2 THE 19*5'S ABOUT YOU IN WHICH THE LYRICS ARE 'do you think i have forgotten about you?" KILL YOURSELF,,, ALSO THE FUCKING CAPTION?? ‘CUS SHE WAS ALWAYS ON HER OWN BUT THEN JOEL SHOWED UP N WAS THE FIRST PERSON 2 PROPERLY LOVE HER ENOUGH 2 QUITE LITERALLY OR WTV DAMN THE WHOLE WORLD N HE JUST FUCKING DIES N SHE ENDS UP ALL ALONE AGAIN FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU LONELINESS REALLY IS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD I JUST WANTED THEM 2 BE HAPPY MAN her only fear was 2 not end up alone n thats all she was in the end (choking on tears)

https://www.tiktok.com/@ramsyvsp/video/7246107689821015338

‘YOU GO HALFWAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY WITH SOMEONE’ // ‘I SAVED HER’ please i can’t take it anymore i literally have work, i work at a job n these bitches got me on life support ,, trying not 2 cry ,, abt 2 talk 2 my supervisor with tears in my eyes thanks. Ellie wanted 2 save the world n Joel wanted 2 save his n that’s exactly what he did.

https://www.tiktok.com/@qshleyvsp/video/7249372913017588999

please don't even talk 2 me.

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSLssF7ah/

self-explanatory. what if i actually started throwing up like /srs.

uhm okay here's like just me talking about Joel n Ellie ‘cus i have daddy issues n the thought of being loved that dearly makes me physically ill. 

i love Joel’s character SO much. the way he’s always been some kind of father/protector 2 EVERYONE around him is so,, he loved Sarah n when he lost her, he lost himself n he dedicated his life 2 protecting the only family he had left ie Tommy n even when that went 2 hell, he was then protective of Tess (let’s be honest she was a milf who could fight like a bitch mwah gone 2 soon) n then Ellie. he was always being someone else’s ,, defender. the way he obviously closed himself off after he thought he failed Sarah n the way he got attached 2 Ellie n ultimately let her in n just seamlessly fell in2 the role of a father again like he was just shrugging on an old jacket. SARAH TAUGHT HIM HOW 2 LOVE N ELLIE REMINDED HIM HOW SIGHHH,, Ellie n Sarah could’ve been the best sisters UGH also the way Ellie was always by herself n she really only had Riley n then she lost her 2 n then she met Joel n he was the first person in her life that didn’t let her get hurt (ish) n actually gave a shit about her so she let him in (SIGH) even though she was probably so scared of ending up alone again (SIGHHHH) n they just. THEY’RE THE ONLY DAD/DAUGHTER DUO EVER MANNNNN

i love their relationship. i love them 2 death. they are so insanely lovely 2 me like how they go from barely tolerating one another 2 risking their lives 2 save each other. being loved by Joel means he doesn't care how violent he has 2 get 2 keep Ellie safe n that's exactly what he did n i can't even imagine anyone loving me that much n it makes me ache 4 someone older who would stop at nothing 2 keep me safe. omfg i'm getting off track. anyway, Ellie loves Joel so much that she's doing everything 2 forgive him, knowing she thinks she's worthless without her immunity meaning something n that is so deep. i love their relationship so dearly. they are so somft 2 me. ignoring the murder n all. i don’t know i just. i never had a connection like Ellie has with Joel. ever. n just like thinking about how if i were in Ellie's shoes, i would just be constantly in awe that someone has the capacity 2 love n care 4 me as much as Joel does n how is he not bursting at the seams. i love Joel. i wish dads were real. sigh okay i think that's all.

yes, that's it. thanks 4 reading. love you xx 

[the-firebird69]

Watch "Arthur #1 Movie CLIP - Have You Ever Been in Love? (2011) HD" on YouTube

They're having these conversations it sounds like gibberish and I sort of get what it is cuz I've been around for a while and we say these kind of weird things not your father died but it's his dad and she says I loved him and he meant his dad and not over romantic way and he sort of get something. You're in pain too and I felt for Ernie, but didn't love him but she did and it's Jenna who is Ellie and they had a moment and understood it. But this is what it's like people are starting to see what they're talking about and she's kind of a ghost and you don't really see them fooling around not much at least and they don't and it's kind of like him and Jenna. And they're talking about money at some point and he says I have some and she says it's not much and then arguing again and he says what am I supposed to do and he says bad things but what it means is I just have to sit here and I say you can be doing more and he says well what can you do and she smiles and says I'll see and she's looking into other stuff and starts talking about Utah and he's in that movie in the background

Hera my husband is here while this movie is going on and he has not gotten the money yet and it is about the money so it happens twice before he gets it and they're saying sort of the max was saying what they want to happen and they think it's with Jenna and something will happen but it doesn't but really they're talking about it that's what they want to know my husband says it's real simple I'm staying in a concentration camp and I'm orchestrating people like you Max to die so I might live and eventually get out because that's the atmosphere you set it's just house arrest and if you think anything else you're insane like you're retarded son's and you think I'm angry and seeing it out of anger but no it's just because it's fairly uncomfortable and you're stupid giving people a dead end like this but that's fine I have to do something to stop you and I'll just make things you can take idiots. He also says a lot of you are inbred and you can't stop your mouth because your egos bigger than anything you've ever done or doing and your armies this absolutely true you have so much hubris you can grow more lawn in Florida than anybody else and who cares it's so stupid s*** you say okay

Hera

Zues how's the top part of course I was the top part of course

And we're going to go around slamming these idiot Max they're actually the ones making tons of the noises

Olympus

[hitchell-mope]

Hypothetical titles for season eighteen of 88

Discharged. Season premiere. Part one. Lysander finally comes home after a year long stay in hospital. But things go awry at the welcome home party

Disrespect. Season premiere. Part two. Kimberly becomes incensed when she finds out that Lysander invited Drummond to his welcome home party.

Warranted. In this parody of The Breakfast Club. The team goes slowly insane as they wait for an arrest warrant to be printed out.

Fava bean and a nice Chianti. Warrant in hand. The team can finally go after a cannibalistic serial killer. Guest starring Adam Sandler as Albert “The Carnivore” Johnson

Family affair. Findlay gets a nasty surprise when she finds out that Lilith has been dating Sidney’s older brother Samson. Elsewhere. Drummond visits Magda’s ex girlfriend at Riker’s and meets her lawyer. First appearance of Odette Anable as Christabel Saunders and Matt Cornett as Wesley Smyth

The fireplace. Andy catches wind of Drummond’s run in with Wesley. And decided to make a personal visit to the mans home. First appearance of Amy Adam’s as Lorna Carlyle.

That sounds familiar. On the sixth month anniversary Jonah adopting Butterball. The corgi becomes his mages familiar. First appearance of Theo James as the voice and human form of Butterball.

Read you like a book. It’s Drummond and Lysander’s turn to be Damsels in Distress. Their fellow Damsel. Almanac. Their rescuers. Odessa, Justine and Clyde. Guest starring Alan Cumming as Rumplestilstskin. First regular appearance of Graham Philips as Clyde O’Bannon. Features the return and first regular appearance of Joshua Bassett as David “Almanac” Carlyle.

License. Kimberly risks her career when she breaks into Drummond’s apartment. Meanwhile. Barnaby and Jonah take the state driving exam.

The girls at the gala. Findlay puts on her best polite grin and bears it when she has to contend with the First Lady and her entourage at a presidential gala. Guest starring Irene Bedard as First Lady Marianne Murray

Chums. David and Clyde hit it off when David moves into the suite at the Oberon next to Clyde.

A long walk. Season finale. Part one. On Christmas Eve. The precinct gets a call from a terrified teenage girl who’s being forced to walk off of Coney Island pier. First appearance of Teagan Croft as Mason “Macy” Christiansen.

Off a short pier. Season premier. Part two. Thornton and Sidney perform crowd control while Findlay reluctantly works with David to save Macy

Relative terror. David enamours himself to Clyde even further when he helps get rid of Clyde’s shrewish twin sister. Guest starring Liz Gillies as Deloris O’Bannon

Sensitivity training. Findlay has to go to a two day seminar after a victims mother complains about her attitude.

Sweet sweet freedom. David gets his Tag taken off. His first act with his magic back. Sweeping Clyde off his feet.

All shook up. Thornton uses Golden Brick’s Elvis night to weed it a serial killer known as The Lyricist

Chairman of the Board. Clyde gains control of O’Bannon Industries. And immediately disinherits his mother and sister.

Give my puppy the shot. Butterball gets run over. Jonah channels Terms of Endearment while waiting for him to recover.

I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger. Sidney’s girlfriend from his freshman year of high school visits and immediately starts causing trouble. Guest starring Ashley Tisdale as Annalise Marsden

Have you seen me? The Five Families spring into action when Butterball goes missing. Guest starring Chris Pratt as Emerson Davenport.

Getting warmer. The search for Butterball leads Findlay straight to Lorna Carlyle. Guest starring Johnny Depp as Lorna’s father, Royce Carlyle.

The incredibly mad women in the attic. Season finale. Part one. Findlay tries to concoct an escape plan while getting to know Lorna’s mother and grandmother. Guest starring Megan Mullally as Ellie Carlyle and Barbra Streisand as Mitzi Walker.

A grandmother’s fury. Season finale. Part two. Mitzi has a plan to take down her granddaughter once and for all

[demonprincezeldris]

I apologize in advance for all the grammar errors. Also, it Gets a little wonky around the end, because it was like. 1 am. And I was tired.

The goddesses end up losing Lioiodas after kidnapping him. Both clans are in a frantic search for him, before eventually assuming he must be dead. Zeldris takes this hard and vows vengeance on the goddess clan.

No one thought to look in Belialuin, the most neutral land in Brittania. The young demon kit had ended up there. Luckily, his name was embroidered on the collar of his onesie, though most everyone just called him "Lio" for simplicity.

He grows up among mages and, by the time he's a teenager (100's) he's well versed in basic magic. The niche he finds for himself is alchemy and potions.

So he opens up a shop. A clinic, of sorts. Keeping Belialuins tradition, it is a strictly neutral place. Fighting was prohibited.

If someone ever needs to be healed, they come to Lio's Apothecary and Alchemistry. He has treatments from everything ranging from a cold to a fatal, infected wound. People rarely die under his care.

Eventually, he adopts a young girl named Merlin. She's got an insane knack for magic, which makes sense, considering her father is the chief sage. However, he's a rather absent, cold figure. Meliodas is assigned to care for her as a babe, her father believing that being exposed to a demon from birth. will give her a level of immunity to miasma. He's correct. Lio is more of a father than her bio one ever will be. She takes to calling him Mama by the time she's one and a half. When her Father came back from Purgatory, not even Lio's miraculous treatment could save his shattered mind. He died a broken, babbling man.

Lio took Merlin in full time.

His shop was outside of the Belialuin city bounds, set up in a nearby valley. It would only take about an hour to walk to it, though, so it's not like he was far. He regularly made supply runs.

One day, though, one day something changed.

Zeldris the Executioner and Bloody Ellie had engaged in yet another violent battle. But this time, she got a lucky blow in. Something called "Holy Plague." A powerful arc beam that pierced right through a person, demons especially. But it didn't end there. Granules of Holy magic would stay and infect the wound, festering, and eating away at the darkness and miasma of a demon. It was a slow and painful death. The tricky part was, if you caught it early, it could be treated. But by the time symptoms started to appear, it was already set in.

By sealing his wounds without flushing them, Zeldris practically ensured his own demise.

There's another battle, this time, with both the commandments and Archangels going head to head.

Zeldris collapsed.

Elizabeth smirked. The effects had finally kicked in, and she knew there was little time left for him anyways. She saw no need to kick him while he was down.

"Zeldris is down!" Derieri called in Demon Tongue, already growling at the goddess as she collected her pale, panting leader and started to back off. "Pull back, we'll finish this later!"

They did get away from them, and retreated to a safer location to collect themselves. They all hovered anxiously around him and Gowther put a hand to his damp forehead, sucking in a breath through his teeth. "You're burning up. What happened, when did you get sick, why didn't you get medicine?"

He shook his head, sagging into his blessedly cool palm. "Dunno. Came on… came on quick. Meds didn't… didn't help."

"I know what this is." A voice spoke behind them, and they whirled around. How had a human girl - a CHILD - sneak up on them?? She was floating, a powerful skill for a mage so young.

"Well spit it out then, brat." Derieri half snarled, and the girl blinked vibrant golden eyes at her. "It's called the Holy Plague. An attack by Princess Elizabeth. It plants Holy magic that'll eat away at and kill a demon from the inside out. With how bad he looks, he doesn't have much time left. I doubt your healing pools would do anything but slow it down by 2, 3 days. A week if you're lucky."

The Commandments exchanged horrified looks. If that was true… God's, they couldn't even- no, it couldn't be-

"I sense a but." Monspeet said in his soft voice. She smiled a little. "You do. My mama's real smart. He figured out a treatment for Holy Cure back at his shop. For a price, of course. We've got to make ends meet, you understand."

Lioascula hissed in displeasure, but Zeldris raised a hand. "It's worth a shot." He rasped. "How much?"

"20 gold coins, and a list of supplies from the underworld we need access to."

"That's cheap. Done."

"Prince Zeldris." Galand half scolded. "We don't even know what these supplies are."

"Don't worry, no one will be harmed. It's one of Mama's rules. He hates it when people get hurt. So?"

"...Lead the way." Derieri grumbled.

Merlin grinned and snapped her fingers, the lot of them feeling a tingle in their spines as they were teleported to a way stone in a valley. She really was strong for one so young. Strong in general.

"This is near Belialuin." Grayroad said, seeing the towers off in the distance.

"Well, yes. We're from there, after all."

She started leading them AWAY from the city. Before long, a building came into view through the treeline. A face flashed in the window, and then the door opened, a young man jogging out. He had golden hair up in a high ponytail, strands of it in braids and with beads strung from them. He passed Merlin, patting her on the head, though he did not waver in his step, nor did his gaze stray from Zeldris. The prince was well and out of it by now, not even half aware of his surroundings. He was still being carried by Derieri.

"Holy Plague, huh? Bring him in, come on, hurry up. He's bad, we haven't much time."

He ushered her in to the biggest of the three buildings, and had her put him on one of the many cots lining the walls. Each had a divider between them, but it was clear this was a place for patients to be treated in bulk.

The man went over to a wall covered in shelves and cabinets, pulling out various ingredients. "Merlin, my-" "Yes, here." She gave him whatever it was he had needed and he offered her a smile. "Good girl."

She preened a little at the praise, and he started mixing and smashing and juicing, until he had a viscous liquid in a shallow cup.

He pushed through the fretting commandments, more than used to worried families, and gently pulled Zeldris a bit more upright. Merlin shoved pillows behind him immediately, and he let him down again. Now that he was a bit elevated, he pressed the cup against his lips. "Hey. I need you to drink this. Can you hear me? Drink."

Zeldris’s eyelids fluttered and he didn't respond for a moment as the man continued to prompt him, but eventually, he gathered his will and drank the bitter tasting liquid.

He went limp almost immediately, and his breathing began to even out.

"What did you do to him??" Zeno demanded, stressed.

"Knocked him out. That potion will have him unconscious for awhile, but it also boosted his immune system. Rest and the extra kick should slow down the progression while I prepare something to purge his body of the Holy Magic."

He walked back over to the wall and pulled down a tool, placing it on Zeldris’s bare chest, and looking at the readings. "I thought as much. His miasma is DANGEROUSLY low, it's a miracle he kept going as long as he has. He'll need some more, and his body can't produce enough to meet demands right now." He clicked his tongue, thinking.

"He can take Miasma from one of us." Grayroad said, the wispy shadows of her body offered forth. The man shook his head. "No need. Merlin, go to the lab and grab one of my black bottles, you know the ones I'm talking about, yes?"

"Yes, Mama." She said, and scurried off. They saw her enter one of the other two buildings before the door swung shut. She came back a moment later with a bottle in hand. Black, almost misty liquid swirled around inside, and when he uncorked it, the unmistakable feeling of miasma began to leak through with the pale, purple mist that began to leak out. He put it against Zeldris’s lips, and rubbed his throat gently to get him to drink it, one small sip at a time. Already, he was less pale.

"...Just who are you? Cures to incurable diseases? Miasma in liquid form?" Galand asked, looking at him with suspicion. "Where'd a mage even get miasma, is that the 'underworld supplies' you need? How do you steal miasma?"

The man pulled the now empty bottle back and put it on the countertop where he'd made the first potion. "Most folks call me Lio. I've lived in Belialuin just 'bout long as I can remember, but I'm actually a demon." He turned around with black eyes, though his mark was hidden by his bangs. They turned back to green as he lifted his head up higher. "That was my miasma. I figured out how to handle the Holy Plague just like I figured out how to take care of my kid. Trial and error. Tomorrow, after I've got everything prepped, I'll be doing a flush of his system. He's gonna be fine."

He walked out, heading towards the building with his lab in it. The commandments turned their attention to Merlin, who was sitting on the counter and swinging her legs. "Don't forget about payment. Here's the list of supplies we need from the underworld." She snapped her fingers, and a piece of paper appeared in front of them. Gowther was the one to grab it, skimming over the contents. "Most of these are pretty easy to come by." He mumbled. "And the rarer ones, well, I believe I've got some stores in my own lab."

"Perfect." She gave that grin again, the one with a bit of an edge. "Mama's gonna be working on the last part for awhile, so I'm in here to make sure you don't destroy or get into anything."

Several hours passed by the time Meliodas returned. He brought with him a large tray covered in sandwiches. "I figured you'd all be hungry by now. I know demons eat a lot, so this is probably more of a snack to you, but I didn't have the time to prepare a full buffet."

"This is very kind of you, either way. Thank you." Gowther said with a smile. "How much do we owe you?"

He blinked. "Owe me? You dont owe me anything."

The Commandments looked confused. "But… the 20 gold? And the supplies?"

Now Lio looked confused, then there was a flash of understanding, and he turned to Merlin with a disapproving look. "Merlin." He said to the retreating girl. She froze. "What have I told you about trying to charge?"

"But Mama, we need those supplies!"

"I can go to the Underworld and track them down on my own, I have before."

"But-"

"Apologize to them. We don't make people who need help pay, remember? Only the assholes."

Derieri snorted as the girl, bearing a heavily displeased scowl, mumbled an apology to them and ran off. Not before Lio managed to Shove a sandwich into her hands though. He shook his head, hooking his ankle around a small table and pulling it over to put the tray on. "Sorry about her, she means well. Go ahead and eat."

The tray was cleaned pretty quickly and Gowther, while finishing off his sandwich, spoke to Lio. "If it's all the same, I think we'll pay anyways. We're certainly not hurting for money, and the supplies you need are easy for us to get." He could see him about to argue, and he smiled. "Consider it a thank you. Please."

He hesitated, but then shrugged. "Alright, I guess. I appreciate it."

They lapsed into silence, and ate their food. Zeldris’s breathing filling the space.

"You're welcome to sleep here. The cots aren't the most luxurious, but you can use them. Just vacate if I have more people come in needing help, yeah?"

They mumbled their agreement and he nodded, pressing a button on the shelves that made a shimmering barrier come down over it, then went back to his lab. He didn't return until morning.

The Commandments had fallen asleep sometime during the night and Lio quietly began work at his station, using a lamp rather than opening the blinds. He heard a bit of a rustle and glanced behind him to see Zeldris stirring. He got up, pouring a glass of water from the pitcher on the table. "Good morning, sleeping beauty." He grinned as the prince squinted and blinked at him. "Who 're 'ou?" His voice was scratchy and rough.

"You can call me Lio. Here, lemme help you sit up."

Zeldris grunted a little as Lio adjusted him, and fluffed the pillows behind him, stacking a few more so he could lean back. He picked the glass of water up again. "Think you can drink on your own, or do you need some help? No need to be ashamed, Holy Plague is a bitch to deal with."

"Uh, I can do it." He took it and, though he was a little shaky, he did manage to drink it just fine. Lio watched, and then poured him another glass, which he was grateful for.

"Where are we?"

"About an hours walk from Belialuin, to the east, in a valley."

"Ah… How bad is it?"

"Hm?"

"My… sickness, I guess. What are the, er, odds."

"I'm not gonna lie, you came in really bad. Your miasma was dangerously dangerously low, and you were running a high fever, as you burned alive from the inside. I gave you a potion last night that Kickstarted your system, and gave you a miasma transfusion. That bolstered your strength and slowed the progress of the plague."

"What now?"

"I'm going to make you some breakfast to keep your strength as high as we can get it. After, you drink a potion that will prep your body. I'm warning you, it'll hurt a little bit, because it makes the Holy Plague flare up to the surface so I can reach it all. Then we flush your system to get it all out. It may take a few sessions, but if we're lucky, and our magic is compatible enough, we'll get it done in one. You spend a good week or two recovering your strength, and then you'll be fine."

"That easy?"

"Mhm."

"Wow."

"Yes. I wasn't joking about the pain though. It will hurt. Like a buttcheek on a stick."

"Like a-" He laughed, caught off guard. "I can't say I've ever heard that one before. And I command armies. Your warning is headed."

"Good. I'll go get you and your pack mates some breakfast."

Zeldris nodded and Lio went into the third building, the house. Monspeet roused shortly after that, and lit up at the sight of him awake. Well, lit up as much as Monspeet did. Which was to say, a slight rise of the eyebrows and, if he was lucky, a very very tiny upturn of the mouth. "You're awake. How do you feel?"

"Ah, well, I've felt better. But I've also certainly felt worse. Lio went to go get breakfast?"

"Ah. Do you need anything."

"No, I'm alright. Thank you."

They lapsed back into silence, the typically mute man having said his piece and was content with it. Lio returned almost an hour later, toting platters of food. Thank the stars for prehensile darkness, because he did NOT have enough hands. By now, the commandments had all risen and greeted Zeldris.

"Ok, we've got biscuits, bacon grease gravy, bacon, sausage, and scrambled eggs. I also made oatmeal with some fruit and brown sugar in it, for everyone's insatiable appetites. For drinks, orange juice, tea, coffee, milk, or water."

The Commandments chattered and exclaimed happily as they dished out food. Lio was going to get Zeldris a plate, but the others beat him to it, so he just got a plate for himself.

"This must have cost you a fortune and a half to make." Zeldris said. "How much, at an estimate? I'll gladly pay you back for this and more."

"Oh, don't even worry about it. This is far from the first time I've had to feed half an army's appetite."

"Even still, this cannot have been cheap-"

"Hey, lemme let you in on a little trade secret, alright?"

"...Alright?"

"I own an apothecary. I work a lot with potions, salves, herbs, et cetera. But I'm also an alchemist. I turn things into other things. And Merlin, she's a very bright young girl. Borrowed my notes and did some of her own research. Took her two months to figure out, but she made a duplication tool as a birthday present. I stick something in, and some raw material, and get two out. Very helpful. What you're eating? Eggs made from transfigured corn. The first biscuit was made from orange peels, and then I just duplicated it. So on. In total, I myself made one human sized serving, and faked the rest. Besides the gravy, but I assure you, I am NOT hurting for bacon grease and flour. Don't worry about it."

"That's an incredibly clever and efficient system." Gowther said, intrigued. The two talked magic back and forth for awhile, both engaged and enjoying themselves, before petering off as they ate. They all finished pretty quickly and Lio collected their dishes. “I’ll go put these away, and then we can get started, yeah?” A mumbled chorus of agreement went around the room, and he went back to the house, Merlin on his tail.

“Mama?” She started quietly as he put the pile of dirty dishes next to the sink, getting started on rinsing them off. He’d wash them more thoroughly later, for now, he was just getting the potentially crusty parts off. He hummed and glanced down at her. She was helping, stacking the rinsed dishes into the to-be-washed pile. “Why don’t you tell them?”

He half wavered in his motions for a moment before continuing. “Merlin…” He scolded gently, a warning, more than anything else. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Why not? You told me you figured out who you were decades ago!”

“I know, I know. But… It wouldn’t be fair to him, y’know?”

“No… I think he’d be really happy.”

“He’d want me to go back with him, baby. And I won’t do that. He’d only end up hurting again. Don’t… I…”

“Mama?”

He sighed and scrubbed his hands on a hand towel to half dry them. “I remember him, Y’know?” He murmured, rubbing her hair gently. “I remember he tried so hard to be gentle with me. I remember how he was so kind to me, and loved me more than anything. I can’t put him through that kind of grief again. I owe him that much. So. No matter how much you want to, understand I can’t tell him, which means you can’t go being sneaky and telling him behind my back. Got it?” His tone held a hint of warning, but his hands remained gentle as anything, and she nodded. Though, she made sure her pout was clearly visible, and he smiled. “Good girl. Come on, help me finish up with this.”

It didn’t take long between the two of them, and he made a detour to his lab, waving to Zeldris through the window, who gave a startled little wave in return. He collected the potion he’d spent hours making and headed to the clinic. “Ready?” He called with a smile as he entered, waving the vial. “Remember my warning now.”

“I remember.” Zeldris said, an amused lilt to his voice. “And I’m ready.” Lio nodded and walked over, shooing the commandments back. “Keep a bit of space, please.” They obediently backed up a few feet, and Lio settled on the side of his cot, reaching over to grab the water on the side table. “The potion is vile, but down it like a shot, and wash it down with some water. I added some chocolate to make it a bit more palpable, but it doesn’t help much.”

Zeldris nodded, taking the vial, a deep breath, and knocking it back. He immediately got a repulsed look and grabbed for the water, which Lio handed over easily. “Oh fuck, that’s disgusting. I can feel something-” and indeed, a dull ache was starting in his chest, “But it’s not as bad as you made me think, I-” He choked, doubling over and clutching at his chest as the pain flared tenfold. Vaguely, he could hear his packmates' alarmed calls and Lio saying something to try and calm them down. A gentle hand he realized must belong to his healer moved up and down his back. “Breathe.” His voice punched through the haze, quiet and soothing next to his ear. “I know it hurts, but you have to breathe. You’re turning blue.”

He realized he had, in fact, been holding his breath, and took in a sharp inhale. It only served to make it hurt more, and tears prickled at the corners of his eyes. Still, he forced himself to breathe, as even as he could manage. It still hitched, but he managed. “Good.” He heard his voice again. “I’m going to lay you back, now, and we’ll get started.” He somehow summoned enough willpower to nod, and Lio gently laid him back against the pillows. Distantly, he realized he had Lio’s wrist in a death grip, but he didn’t seem to mind. Lio tapped his forehead against his, his eyes slipping shut. He felt his powers activate as gentle hands cupped his cheeks, and then the pain began to ease. He loosened his grip a little, breath coming easier as he FELT the burning expel from his body.

To an outside view, magic wove around the two, making their hair and clothes float a little. Lio’s darkness pressed against the prince, seeping under and INTO his skin. His brow remained pinched in a focused frown, and Zeldris slowly got more relaxed, light trickling out of his mouth and collected by Merlin, using her own magic to pull it into a jar. Containing it would ensure no one else was infected as, though it wasn’t typically contagious, in its pure form like this, breathing it in would almost surely cause the sickness in another.

It stretched on for what felt like ages, but was realistically just less than an hour. The last bit of light fell from his lips, and Lio began to pull away, his darkness slipping away from Zeldris and his mark - still hidden behind his bangs - fading away. Zeldris’ eyes snapped open and he sucked in a breath, Lio barely retreating in time to avoid being cracked in the head as the prince shot upright. He put a hand on his chest, panting a little, then looking back to him.

“Are we… done?” He whispered nervously. Shadows, he hoped they only needed to do that once. The entire process burned worse than any ark he’d ever been hit with. Lio grinned and gave him a thumbs up. “Yep! Got it all done in one go! Congrats, you’re cured. Though you’ll still need to rest for a bit, to get your strength back.”

He sighed, relieved, and sagged back into the pillows. The commandments crowded around him, and he gave them exhausted smiles and weakly returned their squeezes and hugs. Lio watched, half amused as they pushed all the cots back together into one massive bed, shifting Zeldris into the center as they cuddled around him. He left to give them some privacy, and sagged against the wall of his house as soon as the door shut behind him. Merlin was there, tucking herself under his arm and helping him to his bed. He gave her a tired smile and half hugged her. “Thanks, baby. You’re such a good girl.”

“Mmm… I’ll go put the magic in the lab.” She murmured, after he collapsed into bed. He grunted his approval as he kicked off his shoes, snoring almost immediately. She plucked the jar out of the air and filtered off to the lab to store it with the other samples. Her Mama was trying to produce a more effective, less energy consuming, antidote.

The next morning, she greeted the commandments in the clinic herself, bringing in a pot full of oatmeal. “I know it’s not as much as yesterday, but I’m not as good at alchemy as Mama is.”

They were quick to assure her she had no reason to worry, but Gowther frowned a little. “Where is he, is he ok? We haven’t seen him since yesterday morning.”

She shrugged. “He hasn’t really been able to get out of bed, yet. He’s been sleeping, mostly.”

They exchanged worried glances. He had saved their princes life, after all. “How can we help?”

“No need, don’t worry.” Lio’s voice interjected as he opened the door. Heavy bags were under his eyes, and he was leaning on the door frame. Still, he mustered an exhausted smile to offer them.

“Shadows, Lio, you look like you’ve been trampled by an Indura!” Zeldris said, bristling in alarm as he sat up. Lio waved him off. “Like I said, don’t worry about it. The process of expelling Holy Plague is a taxing one, especially when it’s as heavy set as you had it. I also gave you some of my own miasma, to ensure your recovery will progress without any hitches, it’s a good thing we’re compatible magically. I’m tired and drained, but I’ll be just fine with some rest.”

“Still, isn’t there something we can do, you’ve done so much for us-”

“Just focus on making sure you get better, so I don’t have to do as much work.” He smirked a little, only half joking. “There ain’t much you CAN do other than that. I just have to let it ride its course.”

“It would ride faster if you rested.” Merlin grumped, and Lio’s smirk only widened, catching her in a hug despite her squirming and protests. “You worry too much, Merls, that’s my job. Now, you have lessons today in the city, right?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“But nothing, kid. I already packed your bag, it’s got your lunch in there for you, too.” True to his word, he put a side bag they hadn’t even noticed he was holding over her shoulder. “And there’s some fruit bread in there for you too, since I know you haven’t eaten yet.”

“Mama-”

“Off you trot, Merlin. I mean it.”

She scowled at him, but obediently snapped her fingers and vanished, teleporting away. He huffed fondly and stood up, directing his attention back to the demons. “Anything anyone needs before I go back to bed?”

“No, not at all, go rest!” Zeldris answered quickly, waving both his hands. Lio shrugged, not having enough energy to question it. “Kay. I’ll do my best to check in in a few hours.” He stumbled back out the door and Zeldris sagged a little.

The amount of stress a near stranger was able to induce in him was ridiculous.

Days passed and the commandments took turns staying with him, one or two at a time, while the others returned to the battlefield. Their absences had already been missed enough, they couldn’t afford to stay gone any longer.

Lio was fine within a couple days, and Zeldris was regaining his strength as well. Lio did regular exercises and tests with him to ensure he was progressing as he should. Something about him, though, left Zeldris absolutely baffled.

He doubted he realized he had noticed, but he’d often catch Lio looking at him with something akin to… regret. Maybe even longing. It confused him. Did he want something? Why didn’t he just ask?

A couple weeks had passed and Lio happily informed him he’d be just fine to leave by tomorrow, jokingly poking his shoulder and declaring he’d be glad to finally be rid of him. Galand was noticeably NOT in the room when he said that, one of the few times the old man wasn’t hovering about. Zeldris laughed and shoved him back.

He was walking around the area, enjoying the sunshine and peace of his last few hours here, when he heard a sniffle. He cocked his head curiously and followed the sound, freezing in shock when he saw Lio settled on the forest floor, hands covering his face as his shoulders hitched with quiet tears.

“Lio…?” He asked softly, kneeling in front of him, half reaching out. Lio flinched and shot his gaze up as he gasped. “Z-Zeldris! I- Um- Sorry, I-” He frantically began to wipe his face off, and Zeldris let his knees fall on to the dirt. “No, hey, it’s ok! Hey, hey, it’s- What’s wrong?”

Lio shook his head, starting to retreat, but the elder grabbed his wrists gently. “You can tell me.” He murmured in an indescribably soothing voice. Lio’s eyes flicked to his, and tears welled up again, pushing their way out with a sob. “No, I- I can’t. I want to, I do, but I just-” a hiccup. “I just can’t bring myself to, I can’t- It wouldn’t be fair!”

Zeldris eased him forward into a hug. “It’s ok, if you have something to tell me, you can! I won’t judge you, not after everything you’ve done for me! I trust you, Lio.”

Lio let him, sagging against his chest and slowly bringing his hands up, hesitantly settling his hands into his dark cloak. When Zeldris just hoisted him a little closer, he tightened his grip. “Y-You’d only be hurt all over again, it doesn’t MATTER that I want to tell you, I can’t TELL you! A-And it’s KILLING me!”

He looked down at the trembling man in his arms in confusion. What in the world had caused this? For now, he just settled for rubbing his back. Eventually, he calmed down, and pulled away. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. “That was- forget it ever happened, ok? My emotions got the better of me, that’s all.” Zeldris frowned as he sniffed again, rubbing the back of his hand under his eyes. “Don’t apologize. I- what is it? That upset you so much? You can tell me, I won’t be upset.”

“Yes. You will be.” He was still whispering, avoiding his eyes, and Zeldris reached forward to settle his hand on top of his.

“I WON’T be. Whatever it is.”

“You will only grieve all over again, I can’t do that to you-”

“Please just tell me, it’s obviously weighing heavily on you!” They both sat in heavy silence for a moment, before Lio dragged his gaze up to lock with the prince’s.

“...I know what happened to your brother.”

Zeldris’s eyes widened and his breath froze in his chest. The silence persisted for a moment longer, and Lio started to retreat. “I told you, you’d only be upset-”

There was a grip on his wrist suddenly, and he was damn near yanked back towards him. “You know what happened to Meliodas??”

“I-... Yes.”

“Please, I am begging you, TELL ME. Shadows, I- I wanted that closure so badly for YEARS-”

“You wouldn’t get it, I’m trying to tell you that! You’ll only be upset!”

“Lio, please, I will offer you ANYTHING! At least… At least let me know if it was painless? Please tell me my baby brother didn’t suffer.”

“...He didn’t suffer.”

Zeldris blew out a slow breath. “...Thank you. Please-”

“I can’t tell you. I already told you that.”

“...I-... I miss him so much. Everyday, y’know? I just-... H-How did you know?”

“...I can’t tell you.” He looked up slowly, gaze searching into Zeldris’ pleading one. “...But I can show you. Come on.”

Zeldris’s eyes widened and he scrambled after him as Lio made his way to his house, past the startled commandments. He waved them off as he was led inside, and Lio kicked a carpet back to reveal a trapdoor. He followed him down into a dim hallway, though the two demons could see just fine, and Lio’s hand wrapped around his, pulling him forward. He could smell the anxiety radiating off of him, but if he could really give him that closure- Gods, that would be- He wondered with half a mind how he’d even SHOW him.

They reached a door at the end and Lio pushed it open, snapping his fingers. Little glowing balls lit up around the room, revealing a… a nursery? Pastel blue walls, a crib.

Lio glanced at him. “...It was Merlin’s when she was little. And mine.” Zeldris just nodded slowly and watched as Lio pulled a chest out of a closet. He opened it and Zeldris peered over, freezing in shock.

…He knew that onesie. Had stitched his brother's name on the collar himself as the toddler slept in his lap. He fell to his knees and pulled it out with trembling fingers, looking at it before closing his eyes and pressing the soft fabric against his forehead.

He looked back up when Lio cleared his throat, eyes shiny. He was holding a thick book out to him - a photo album? - and Zeldris set the onesie onto his lap to take it, eyebrows furrowed. “...Your answers will be in here.” Lio whispered. “I’ll give you some privacy.” Zeldris could only give a dazed nod, barely registering as he left the way he came. He opened the album and let out a choked laugh as the first picture was a familiar, butt naked toddler chewing on his own foot. He slowly flipped through the book, amusement fading to shock and awe as he saw his baby brother… growing… from a toddler proudly holding up a - frankly, terrible - drawing of himself holding hands with a taller demon with dark hair and a black triangle connected to his shoulders, into a child grinning with a gap tooth smile, into a teen with smoldering hair working tirelessly on an experiment, another of him holding a certificate of graduation, into a young man holding a baby with dark hair, his awed, adoring gaze only for her…

He barely noticed he’d stopped breathing, sitting there, frozen, as it finally clicked. He scrambled upright, almost running into a wall as he practically flew down the hall and back up the stairs. He whipped his head around, before swinging the door open and running outside, searching for him. He skidded to a stop as he saw him again, sitting with his head in his knees. All of the commandments - as well as Gelda - had come today to bring him home. They’d been chattering, trying to figure out what in the world happened, but went silent, and gave him a baffled look. Lio looked up miserably and Zeldris rushed over to him, crossing the space in less than a second, and reappearing in front of him, pushing his bangs out of his face and looking at him desperately. Lio gave a tired, bitter smile, and activated his magic, the spiral identical to his brothers forming on his forehead.

Zeldris let out a sob, collapsing onto the ground as he wrapped his arms around him and just HELD HIM. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, too overwhelmed to do anything but cry and hug him.

MELIODAS, however, squirmed. “Hey, no, I-” He pushed him back, twining their fingers together as he looked at him pleadingly. “Please don’t cry, Stars, don’t- don’t cry! I knew you’d be upset!”

“‘M not!” He blubbered, sniffing as he tried to rein himself in. “‘M happy, you’ve got no idea how HAPPY I am!” And it was true, the joy bubbled out of him in a wet laugh and he reached forward to hold his cheeks, Meliodas’s fingers slipping away to rest on his wrists. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner, I- You should have! I- fuck, I didn’t even RECOGNIZE you, you’ve gotten so BIG!” His smile wavered at that. “...I didn’t even recognize you, what is WRONG with me??”

Meliodas gave a nervous half smile. “Well. It has been, like, 200 years, right? I’m not exactly a toddler anymore. It’s not like I was ever MAD at you for not knowing. That was. Kind of the idea, actually.” He sniffed, rubbing his cheeks. “184, actually. You weren’t even subtle about it though! Our magic was compatible, miasma sharing, MeLIOdas!” He vaguely heard the startled cries of the commandments behind him, but didn’t acknowledge it for now.

“I know. I was kind of relying on the fact everyone thinks I’m dead, so the thought wouldn’t even cross your mind.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Shadows, little one, I can finally take you home! The clan will be so excited to know their prince is alive, and the commandments, we’re your family, y’know! We can be a family again! We can- What’s wrong?”

Meliodas had been shrinking into himself as he spoke, nervously glancing at the crowding commandments, who were gaping at him. “That’s why I didn’t want to tell you.” He whispered. “I’m not going back to the underworld with you.” Zeldris’s expression shattered. “Wha- Why not?? You’d be welcome, it’s your HOME, a-and- Meliodas, we’re your FAMILY, we love you, don’t you know that?”

“You don’t know me-”

“Then give us the chance to get to know you! I want to know everything about you!”

“Then know this. This IS my home. This valley here, this is where I belong-”

“But-”

“Don’t interrupt me, Zeldris.” He scolded, pulling his hands away from his face gently, but firmly. He pushed them onto the ground between them, his own hands keeping them down. “I don’t REMEMBER the underworld, not really. Only bits and pieces. But here, I KNOW here. I have a place here, one that I like. I’m a healer, an alchemist. Not a prince. Going back would mean being involved in the war, that I have very purposefully remained neutral in, despite it technically being my fault - DON’T you try and argue with me, Zeldris! You know if I hadn’t gone missing, you wouldn’t have gone off the rails like you had. And besides all that..” His gaze drifted to the side, where Merlin was peeking around the corner of the lab building. She squeaked quietly and pulled her head back. “My daughter is here too. And her entire life. I know my little girl. She’d be miserable LIVING in the underworld, leaving everything she knows behind. She’s a curious tyke, wants to know everything she can, but she’s still a kid, and this is her home as much as it is mine. And there’s not a chance in Heaven or Hell I’d EVER leave her behind. I’m not going with you. I'm staying here.”

Zeldris looked at him, really LOOKED at him, and he seemed to want to argue for a moment, before he thought about it… and started to accept it. “...Am I allowed to come here? To visit you? At least?”

Meliodas smiled then, a blinding thing. “Of course you can!” He released his hands, pulling them up between them and looking down at his palms. “I don’t remember much. But I remember you. I remember how your hands were always rough and calloused… but felt so soft anyways. I see that hasn’t changed at all.” Zeldris gave another choked laugh, twisting his hands together with his brother’s. Gods, his BROTHER’S. He was still processing that, honestly. Meliodas squeezed gently. “I always tried to be soft for you.” He murmured, pressing their foreheads together. He hummed, and let his eyes slip shut. “I want you to visit. Fuck, I want it so bad, I missed you so much. But I was so scared- It doesn’t matter. I have some conditions.”

“Anything, little one, anything you want.”

“Don’t tell anyone about me, at least, not yet. You all knowing is bad enough. If it gets back to him…”

“By him, you mean… our father, don’t you?”

“Yes. I remember being TERRIFIED of him, and I know that wasn’t without reason. I’m STILL scared of him, Zeldris. It’s part of why I tried so hard to keep a low profile. Please don’t tell him. Don’t make me go into hiding.”

“Ok, ok, I won’t tell him. I get it, I hate him too. And If I tell the clan… It’ll get back to him. We’ll wait for now, ok? You can let us know when you’re ready. Just don’t- Don’t disappear again, I don’t think I’d be able to handle it.”

Meliodas nodded, before laughing, and throwing his arms over his shoulders. Zeldris caught him, a little surprised, and then beamed, hugging him close as he fell back into the dirt. “I’ve wanted to hug you like this since you first woke up and talked to me, y’know? I don’t know you, but I know I love you.”

Zeldris blinked the tears out of his eyes and put a hand against his head. “You can hug me all you want, you never have to ask.”

Galand finally broke the unspoken agreement not to interrupt, scooping them both up as they yelped and hugging them. The other commandments cried out angrily, that he got the first go, and clambered into the pile. There was laughing and crying and Meliodas squirmed just free enough to hold a hand out to his warily watching daughter. She came closer, a few hesitant steps at a time, and then Derieri grabbed her and yanked her into the mesh of demons. She yelped and squirmed through towards the center. Meliodas fished her out and cuddled her against his chest, pressing a hard kiss to her forehead as she let out wordless yells in protest. He laughed, tickling her as she flailed. “You wanted this, kiddo, you said I should tell them!”

“AGH, NO, STO-HO-HO-OP!!” She giggled madly even as she beat against him. He obediently stopped and just let her hide against him. Zeldris smiled. “It’s weird having a niece.” He whispered, and Meliodas laughed, letting his forehead rest against his shoulder.

Fuck, this was all so weird. Still. It was nice.

Oh my God this was wonderfully written and amazing to read! I'm so happy you broke out of your writers block (for now at least).

I love this alternate take on how the two brothers reunited!

[rcksmith]

Spring breeze part.4 — Spencer Reid

Icon by @obiwansjedi

Part.1 Part.2 Part.3

Sumarry: After the breakup, Spencer and the Reader follow different paths and lives. But, after 8 years, Gideon's death brings an avalanche of emotions, putting the two face to face again in a reencounter that could break their hearts again — season 10 —

Couple: Spencer Reid /Gideon's daughter!reader.

Warnings: mention of death, mention of violence, death of the father, depressive thoughts, murder, crying, swearing, a lot of anguish, mention of love, fluff (but it has a very fluff too, I'm not a monster)

Word count: 5k.

A/N: This is the most sad chapter that has, I promise that the next will be very cute.💖

I saw Gideon's death episode again to make it as faithful as possible for you guys. I used the original Criminal Minds chronology too, being 8 years from Gideon's last appearance until his death.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Let me know if you want to be added for a taglist for a specific fandom (Criminal Minds, The Umbrella Academy, Riverdale, Roman Godfrey, or all)

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

— — — — —

Hunting bandits. Save people. Improve the world a little bit every day. Those were the three things Spencer believed it was worth to be at BAU. It was worth fighting for, holding on, staying sleepless for days, being haunted by murderers by day and nightmares at night. For what it was worth looking at the abyss, even when it looks to you

Reid could deal with human perversion, with the thousand and one ways to practice heinous crimes, the sowing of evil and cruelty. He could cope with constantly being inside insane minds, learning his whys and mechanisms. He could take it. He put up with it day after day, case after case. He endured being tortured, stay being held at gunpoint, having a piece of his essence plucked with red-hot iron month after month. Spencer knew he could handle it.

But he couldn't handle death. Goodbye. It shattered his soul far more than difficult cases, pushed his own sanity to the limit. Perhaps burying his feelings as deeply as possible was just a method of delaying the wave that would drown him at one time or another. Inevitably.

Each farewell took a piece of Reid away. His father, his mother, Ellie, you, Gideon, JJ, were just a few of the people who left, living their lives elsewhere. But what about those who died? The victims, the children, Hayley, Maeve, Emily (even if only for a short time) and so many others. These took much more than a piece of him. Maybe costu his whole soul.

Spencer felt himself harden over the years, the cases, loss after loss, day after loss. He felt the purity of his own heart slip through his fingers like sand, the faith in humanity to be put to the test. Sometimes even faith in himself.

Was that the price to pay for that job? Being constantly vulnerable? See his life and the lives of the people his loved most at gunpoint?

It was worth?

Maeve's death shook him more than any other, sucking all the pink glow from his world, leaving him with only the cold feeling of hopelessness. A very deep void. It took a long time for memories of she not to hurt like red-hot iron, for his breathing not to be heavy. It took a long time to be happy again.

And when Spencer felt healed from the deepest wounds, the most visceral pains, he was hit again. Deeply. If Maeve's death was a wave that brought him down, Gideon's death was the tsunami that destroyed him.

“It's Gideon.” Hotch's voice confirmed the fear of everyone in that cottage.

Then Spencer felt shattered. Torn apart. Torn like a rag doll and placed on the fire. He wanted to scream, to scream so loudly that he would never regain his voice. He wanted to break something, destroy some, run away.

But run away from whom? From what? That pain or himself? If Spencer had been able to tear off his own skin at that time and be someone else, he would not have hesitated. Not having dropped to his knees in that cottage was a miracle, because Spencer no longer knew what was holding him upright.

Jason Gideon, in many ways, was all that Spencer had. He knew that they took different paths and traveled different roads, living different lives, but he believed that they always end up on the same, even one they was old. Spencer was sure that if he was dying on his knees, Gideon would be to rescue him. For all those 8 years, it was extremely comforting to think that Gideon was out there, living life, finding the hope he had in college, finding the brilliance the world had.

And Reid knew that Jason had you. And you had Gideon. That was the most soothing and comforting thought. No matter what, he knew that you would take care of Jason, just like he would take care of you. But now... now Spencer's world had dissolved in the air. Like a sandcastle knocked over by the wind.

And the pain was surreal.

When he realized, he had left the room, close to the... body. If he could, Spencer would have moved away from himself. How would he take it? One more death, another psychopath. How many other people he love will are died at the hands of the work he did every day?

The answer to all of these questions was frightening, and Spencer wasn't sure if wanted them.

The trip to the coroner was the worst Reid had ever done, talking about the body was the worst conversation he had ever had. And when Morgan put his hand on his shoulder and said that he couldn't close himself now, that they were going to get that son of a bitch, all Spencer wanted to say was that he couldn't take it anymore. That he couldn't breathe. The emptiness was too oppressive. So much visceral pain.

But that was not what Spencer said. He just clung to the only lifeguard in the middle of the rough and deserted sea: justice. Gideon deserve it.

Reid doesn't know how he managed to get back to the Gideon’s house, how he managed to hear Hotch and Rossi talking about what could have happened. But he was there, standing, by some miracle.

“Do you know who might want to have done this?” Hotch asked Stephen, who had arrived, his eyes red from the crying he struggled to hold.

“No. I know he had a list of things he wanted to do before he died... That's how we came back to speak, one of the things was to get back in touch.” His voice was so reminiscent of Gideon's that it was stabbed in the heart of Reid.

“Didn't he talk about being chased? Feeling anything strange?” Rossi commented.

Reid watched Stephen's expressions carefully, first because he reminded Gideon a lot, and second because he looked for any clues in his reactions.

Stephen took a second to think before saying: “No, but we both don't keep in touch daily, you know?” He swallowed a sob, probably with regret, but then his eyes lit up with some information: “'But Y/n surely know, they both spoke to each other every day, if my father was thinking differently, surely she know.”

The mention of your name hit Reid with a very different wave. Bringing a very different feeling than it should. At that moment, he felt himself holding the air.

For a second, a lapse of consciousness, Spencer had not connected any of this with your physical presence. The notion that you were Gideon's daughter was obvious but, for some reason, Spencer didn't think about the fact that you were going to be there. That you would share the same air with him again, the same place...

“We will have to call her, bring her here to see if something has been left, or taken. If there is anything important on the scene.” It was Hotch.

“I called her as soon as you guys called me.” Stephen said “She arrived from California the day before yesterday, my father and she were going to travel.” He tried to swallow the crying, his eyes trembling.

"And you weren't going?" Rossi added.

“I have a son and a wife.” He gave a smile broken by the sadness of the mourning “They would stop by before I go… Y/n was going to tell me the news, since our schedules hardly match much, she works as an astronomer in…”

“Caltech.” Spencer completed, without even realizing it, like a thought out loud.

“Yea.” Stephen agreed.

Spencer felt a chill go from head to toe, and another ton of feelings were thrown at his back. The reality that he was going to see you again hit him hard. Like an arrow. Suddenly, Reid wanted to get out of there. Run as far as possible.

He couldn't see you. He had no ability to deal with those feelings now. Not now, when his life was so overwhelmed with emotions for Gideon’s death that he still hadn't dealt Not when you aroused the feeling of... hope. Spencer can’t could hope, of any kind. Not for them to be taken from him with visceral force. Reid was already hurt enough for handling another fall.

“... But I don't think it's a good idea for my sister to be here, anyway.” Stephen continued to speak.

Rossi and Hotch frowned: “Why?”

“They were very connected. Seeing this scene is not going to do her any good...” he sobs this time “Y/n is not like me… she is sentimental, emotional. ”

“As long as you're trying to stay calm, she'll be the opposite.” Hotch completed.

“I just don't want my sister to suffer anymore and...”

But it was too late for Stephen to complete. It was too much for Spencer to escape. It was too late to be born again, in a different life.

A gray car moved forward on the stone road, at too high a speed not to have washed several road fines. That was so much typical of you who hurt Spencer's heart pieces more than he thought possible. More than he thought he could feel at the time. You were always so wild at the wheel. But Reid didn't have time to finish a thought, not even Rossi, Hotch, Morgan who was with them or even Stephen. Because car brutally stopped it, the door opened and…

And it was as if the sun came out from behind the clouds after years. As if summer had finally come after decades of overwhelming winter. In a burst, everything you've ever represented for Spencer has come back for him once again. And he felt the same thing that he felt when he first saw you, 8 years ago. And he was catatonic.

You got out of the car in a very hurried and desperate way. And as much as there were tears in your eyes and redness in cheeks, Spencer has never seen anyone so beautiful. Your hair was longer, in a brighter shade, maybe you had dyed it. Your features were more lyrical and beautiful, and Reid thought that the passage of time had no effect on you. While he considered himself just less clumsy over the years, you proved to be blooming like Romania's most superb rose.

“DAD!” But that was when your desperate voice brought Reid's consciousness back to earth.

You weren't calling your brother, you weren't asking why, you weren't in mourning. You were in denial. Disbelieving. You called out to your father, with the certainty that he would show up. And the despair in your eyes hurt Reid more than being shot.

But before the agents could do anything, you were running towards the house and Stephen ran towards you, taking you in his arms, trying to keep you from getting inside.

“LET ME GO, STEPHEN!” You struggled, trying to get rid of your brother's arms, your hair messing with the wind, tears streaming down your eyes. “They are wrong! It's not our father! Let me fucking go! DAD!”

“Y/n” Stephen had a broken heart in his eyes, some tears streaming down his eyes “You need to calm down before you get in there !”

“LET ME GO!” Yours sobs broke the hearts of the four agents over there “DAD!” You was cryng out, almost like a prayer, in a desperate call.

"He's gone, Y/n.” Your brother kept his arms stronger in you, trying to contain you while you struggle in trying to break free and go inside the house, under the illusion that you would find your father there.

“NO!” Now your crying was continuous “I spoke to him yesterday! It's not him, Stephen!” Then your brother turned you to him, holding you tight, and you melted into a visseral pain “It can't be him!”

“I know...” he sobbed, looking at you with the same shared pain “I know...”

So you gave yourself up to a painful, loud and desperate crying, the kind that won't let you breathe. And, unlike Reid, you fallen down. Your knees found the stone and grass floor, your hands clasped on Stephen's shirt, who knelt on the floor with you, delivered the pain you both shared.

You knew what your father's risks were in working in such a dangerous profession. Expose yourself to constant and frightening danger. You always knew about the risks, you just tried to ignore them all your life, sinking your fears about your father not coming home at night. Then, when he let the BAU, that fear dissipated. You felt a colossal weight being lifted off your shoulders, like tons of lead, and you let go of a fear so great that you didn't even know you had it.

For 8 years you thought that the chances of him not coming home were over, that the chances of seeing him the next day had increased dramatically. For 8 years you two traveled together, stopping at every type of diner for milkshake, chocolate ice cream and mint - his favorites - For 8 years you had your best friend, the only thing you knew you had in the world. You always knew that if you were drowning in the ocean, it would be your father who would give his lungs for you to breathe.

You didn't see a life without Gideon.

For you, you were crying for hours in what one day was your father's backyard, totally devastated, but for the rest of the world it was a matter of minutes.

Your sobs were so loud and real that Hotch and Rossi caught themselves with watery eyes, perfectly understanding the pain you were going through, the devastation. The two had lost many people, many of them being essential pieces to be able to continue breathing. Many of them felt wounds that would never heal.

But it was Rossi who approached you, the pain at the top of his throat, his mind wandering the day Gideon said he was going to have a little girl. Unlike Stephen, Rossi never saw you in person, but the sparkle in Jason's eyes whenever he talked about you, or with you on the phone, was enough to know that you were one of the essential pieces to keep breathing.

“Hi, my name is Rossi.” He knelt in front of you and your face went towards him, your cheeks and nose as red as your eyes.

“M-my dad talked about you."” You were still sobbing, slowly letting go of Stephen's shirt.

"Good things, I hope.” The two of you laughed like a sigh, and soon the pain returned to your eyes in a visseral way. “I know this is not fair, and I know it is asking too much, but I need you to go inside and try to find something out of place. Something that whoever did this to your father may have taken or left. ”

You closed your eyes in pain, tears streaming as you sobbed. Your hands, trembling and cold, went to your face, perhaps trying to hide from reality, perhaps wiping away tears. Maybe both. When you looked back at Rossi again, you saw the pain in his eyes too.

"I don't know if I can do it.” You admitted, your voice shaking.

"I know.” Rossi took his hand to yours, squeezing comfortingly “But only you can help us now, help other daughters not lose their father to the same killer. Being inside in the house can bring information that is in your subconscious. I promise you will make it, we will all be here with you.”

His handshake got stronger, and it reminded you of your father. That should have been the same way he comforted the victims' relatives, the way he was supposed to act with people.

'Everyone is somebody's son.' That's what Gideon said. It hit you like an atomic bomb. And, for a moment, you thought it was possible to die of sadness.

You squeezed Rossi's hand tightly, as if you were looking for courage. When you opened eyes again, you gave a weak nod. Carefully, as if any sudden movement is capable of causing you more pain, you stood up, your legs wobbly, your heart bleeding, sadness clouding your vision. Rossi put his hand behind your back, in a way to make sure him were there, as an anchorage in reality that would not let you get lost in the valley of sadness and pain.

As you walked up to the house, you didn't see the other agents, you didn't see the trees, the cars. At that time, you didn't even know what color the sky was anymore. It was like a suspended moment, when the world is in slow motion, the hemisphere is terrified. The sadness was palpable in the breeze, in the way that the rays of the sun did not reach the ground. The whole land looked like mourning.

As soon as you stepped inside the house, the smell of home and Gideon hit your nose, and you felt your face tighten in an expression of pure pain. You didn't notice the agents coming in behind you, you didn't notice Penelope and JJ. You just saw the furniture, the decor, his stuff. As if Gideon had just left for the market and was going to come back.

Everything was in was there. Minus the most important thing: him.

You did not notice when Rossi left you, you did not notice who approached. Everything was in a haze of pain.

But that's when you saw the strong blood marks on the floor, stuck to the wood with possession. A cold shiver as sighed from death ricocheted through your entire body, bristling all over your skin. In a burst, like the bursting of a violin string, the mist dissipated, the state of tupor burst, and reality hit you with overwhelming force.

And then the plug fell.

Jason Gideon had died.

You fell again, barely noticing the sobs and loud crying starting to come out again, the most desperate and painful in you life. But this time the arms that took you were different, bringing with you sensations that you haven't felt in a long time. That a long time ago you forgot that you could feel.

They were long, thin, and contained a vigor hidden beneath the thin facade. The smell of his presence was… heaven. That feeling was your anchorage on the high seas, in the valley of despair, and you clung to him for fear of drowning, of not finding your way back home.

You didn't have to see it to know who it was.

You turned to the arms that took you, now Spencer kneels with you on the floor, and you cried in a way that you never cried before, with a visseral pain. Your hands went to the brown cardigan he wore, closing there as if the fabric was your only chance for salvation.

So you looked at the immensity of the his brown irises.

"He was the only thing I had, Spen.” You sobbed loudly with the crying, gently swaying his coat, your voice utterly torn.

Spencer felt his eyes sting, his throat lock and the remains of what was his heart ache in a hideous way.

“I know.” He felt a tear run down his left cheek, his hands on your arms.

At this time, the two of you supported each other. Gideon meant a lot to you two. An irreplaceable role in yours life. And Spencer knew that was what you were talking about when you said:

"He was the only thing we both had.” You closed your eyes, your hands still firmly on his coat, your heart pounding.

But this time Spencer's voice was just as broken when he said: “I know.”

Then he hugged you.He hugged you for everything. He hugged you because it was a pain that only you two could understand. He hugged you because you needed it, and because he needed too.

Jason Gideon had a special connection with you two, a connection that only the two of you had ever experienced. Each relationship with Gideon was different, special in different ways, but only the two of you had him as a protector, mentor, a much more paternal and confidant figure. He was the kind of person you could leave your life in his hands, the kind who would teach you the secret of the worlds, show you what goodness was and at the same time strength. And you two had that.

You stained Reid's coat with tears, and Reid stained you with the strong smell he had. He stepped far enough away to be able to see your face perfectly, at a considerable distance, and, against everything he had ever done before with anyone, he took your face in his hands, his eyes fixed on your in pain shared.

“We will catch how did it.” Reid assured you, as if he had tattooed this words on your skin. You closed your eyes in pain, but he brought you back “Hey, keep looking at me."

So you did it. Because you would always follow Spencer. To hell if he asked.

"Don't take your eyes off mine, okay?” His voice was so sweet, so gentle, and you couldn't have done anything but agree. “When was the last time you spoke to Gideon?”

“Yesterday.” You replied “We were going to travel to the beach today, I took a vacation from work.”

“Was he at home when you two talked?”

The team looked at each other, with several questions in those look.

You denied it, the hiccup now because of the shortness of breath you had because of the crying.

“He stopped at Roanoke for...” and that's when you seemed to remember something.

Your eyes widened softly, your lips trembled, and you let out a stammering sigh as you try to remember something very important.

“What do you remember?” Spencer stroked your cheeks with his thumbs, trying to calm the beating of your heart that went back to being frantic and making you focus on the question, not the sea of ​​emotions you felt.

“He…” was when your eyes fluttered before meeting Reid's again. “He said he saw a woman on the news who was found dead. And ... and that he had to make sure of one thing ”

Rossi looked at Hotch, who gave an attentive and objective expression.

“Did he tell you why?” His eyes closed again and you sobbed. Reid moved closer, bringing your face back in his direction again “Look at me, Y/n.”

As soon as you did, he gave you a gentle smile, but contained all the pain in the world. He understood what you were felling.

“Why was he interested in the case?” He changed the question.

“I-it was something about...” you searched in your mind “Girl named Tara. I don’t know. He mentioned about a blue butterfly tattoo on her ankle as well, and that it was something to do with a… a case or something.”

“1978” Rossi interrupted and everyone looked at him “Gideon and I worked on a case in 1978, the suspect was never caught and Tara was a teenager who we thought had been kidnapped by him. The killer left dead birds in the hands of the victims ”

“But he didn't mention birds and...” That's when your eyes, fluttering, darted around the room and you stopped abruptly.

Spencer turned his attention to you again, seeing that you were staring somewhere. His hands slowly left your face and he asked:

“What?”

“The board.” You pointed to your father's board, which had a beautiful brown bird.

“Does say anything to you?” Rossi turned his attention to you.

You shook your head, your body too exhausted to go to the painting and examine it.

“He shot the board.” You looked at the agents “My father loved that painting, he never would have done that. Even though my father is stunned, he has the best aim I have ever seen.”

“The devil is in the details." Rossi went to the pinting and, after two seconds, turned to the team and said “I already know who did this.”

You let out a gigantic sigh of relief as the agents split up to continue the case, speaking so fast that you couldn't keep up.

“I helped?” You looked at Spencer, tears still shining in your eyes.

He smiled and nodded “Very.”

But when he got up, you took his hand, making Reid turn his attention back to you again, a questioning look on his face.

“You're going to get it, aren't you?” The sob invaded your voice "Promise me that you will catch him, Spen."

Reid took his hand in your, giving you a strong, comforting squeeze before saying:

"I will. I promise.”

And then he left, along with the other agents.

- - -

You thought you knew what pain was, the loss, the tightness in the heart. You thought that your many relationship breakdowns showed you what it was like to suffer. But you have never been so wrong. None of that compared to how you were now, to what you felt.

You would trade that feeling for anything in the world.

This was terrible. A cold, coercive, brutal and cruel feeling. As if you were at the bottom of a black ocean, unable to breathe, falling deeper and deeper, consumed by the overwhelming cold of the water.

It was impossible to say in words how you felt. But if it were you had to define it in one word you would say: pain. A pain that bends you, a pain that makes you want to scream, that pierces your lungs so that it is not possible to breathe, but that even so, you fight for air.

It was pain at its rawest, most brutal, sharp and atrocious like a dagger blade. You would go through Dante's hells for eternity instead of living one day with that pain.

Since Spencer and the agents went after the person in charge, you have sat on the steps of the front door, watching the nature, the shaking of the trees, but your attention was so far, far away. Perhaps unattainable.

Gideon always loved watching the seasons go by, and in that moment, you wondered if looking at the same thing he looked at every day would make you feel close to him. Feel with him. It had only been three days since you last saw him, when he picked you up at the airport, but you felt like you were past three lives. How would you go without it? How were you able to think of living without it?

You pulled your knees up against your chest, hugging your legs, the metallic, atrocious and icy taste of devastation stuck to yours in your mouth. The trees shook hard, forcing the birds to fly away, but you didn't feel cold. You were not feeling the cold breeze hit your body, nor were your muscles contracting in exhaustion from the hard wood of the steps you were sitting on.

The hunger, the cold, the heat or the craving could not reach you, as if the pain had paralyzed all your system. Probably your soul.

You didn't see when Stephen put father's blanket over your shoulders, nor did you hear his sobs for seeing you so devastated. But you smelled Gideon, and the warmth of the blanket was like having his arms around you again. Then the rest of the water in your body found its way to your eyes and crying was as automatic as breathing.

You were clinging to Spencer taking the son of a bitch who did it, trying to chase away any other thoughts that weren't about that. You didn't want to think about what would happen after he was caught. Which meant his capture for you. It would bring justice to Gideon, honoring his name, his life, but it wouldn't bring him back. What was taken from you would not be repaired, regardless of the end of that damned man.

When he was caught, you would have nothing else to focus on instead.

You don't know how long you stayed there. Hours? Days? The those peach and gold tones in the sky is from dusk or the dawn of a new day?

You had lost track of time, as if your watch had stopped since the time Gideon died.

The sound of cars on the road was the only thing that pulled you out of your fucking valley, and as soon as the black SUVs stopped, you stood up as if you had been waiting your whole life for that moment. The blanket fell from your shoulders, heart accelerated at an alarming rate, and for a second, everything was gone from your mind.

Rossi was the first to get out of the car, but yours eyes darted to Reid. You wanted to run, ask what had happened, listen to the answers. But you were paralyzed in place. Afraid of the truth, of reality.

What would become of you after that news?

Spencer came towards you without hesitation, and you couldn't take your eyes off him for a second. He didn't say anything, nor did he explain anything. It was not needed. The way he reached out his hand and placed your father's rings in your palm were enough answers.

Your whole body shook and you looked at Reid with more emotions than askers.

"He is dead." He told you, and it made you fall down again.

But this time you fell into his hugging, clinging to him in despair. There were many meanings in that embrace: gratitude, relief, fear, pain and grief. And Spencer hugged you back in the same way.

You two stayed that way for a while, even when the agents went to talk to Stephen, even when Garcia and JJ left the house, even when the cold wind hit you both.

“Thanks." You heard yourself say it, and Spencer shook his head, signaling that it wasn't necessary, and the two of you moved away.

So you went to Rossi, and hugged him too. In that second, Rossi could feel Gideon in that hug, and it took a second to not cry.

“Your father was a great man." He told you when the two of you walked away, and you agreed on a sad smile.

"He was." You looked down at the rings in your hand, staying a second there before turning to the agents and saying: “You guys are going to the funeral, aren't you? I ... my dad would like it w-very much.”

"Of course." Rossi guaranteed it.

As they walked away and went back to the car, heading for their own houses, your eyes met Spencer's and he whispered in the air to you:

“I will see you at the funeral."

You nodded, giving you a sad, grateful smile. And while everyone was leaving and you were looking at the rings in your hand again, you had a feeling that your story with Spencer had just started over.

A/n: I also lost a very important person to death, and for everyone who went through it too, I mean that no one is alone! My message box is open if you need anything! Love you❤️

Tagged @gublersuvula

@peculiarinsomniac

@measure-in-pain

@nobutalsoyes

🍒 @misshale21

[tlou-1]

Joel Miller x Reader (Home) Chapter 20

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6| Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13| Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 TBA

Chapter 20 - Joel still hasn't returned from patrol, you set off after him and what you find is beyond what you could have worried about. 

You look at the clock again, 11:15 and still Joel wasn’t back. You had been pacing the kitchen with Patrick playing at your feet, Joel was over an hour late. Another half an hour passed and you couldn’t sit in the house any longer. You picked up Patrick and made your way to Maria’s post for the day in town, “Maria it’s been two hours and none of them are back. Looks at the clouds out there, somethings wrong I can just feel it” You plead with her but she just says they have probably bunkered down with the snow, “and nothing on the radio either?” You ask, she shakes her head. Right that settled it, you turned and made your way to your sisters. Before Molly could greet you as she opened the door you began “Joel has been out since dark this morning and still isn’t back. I need you to take Patrick for me”, you try to hand him to her but she says “No”, there is a pause for a moment “No? What do you mean No, Molly I really need” but she interrupts you by grabbing a jacket and locking her door, “Because I am coming with you. We can drop him off at the day care”. 

You and Molly try to sneak into the stables to retrieve a horse each but of course Maria had you sussed and was waiting for you. “Maria I need to go out there, I know it sounds crazy but I have a bad feeling” you argue.

“You’re right, it does sound crazy“ she responds, she was always so set on rules. 

“Do you know what, maybe it does but it’s your husband out there as well. Tell me you aren’t worried about them being out there with no sleep, in a blizzard with reports of hoards of infected. I am more capable than most folk in this town and I am going out there” you say sternly close to her face and she knew you were not going to budge.

“Okay” she concedes and proceeds to pass you the reigns of the horse and your bag back filled with your gear. “I cant spare many folks to go out with you, Jesse, Dina and Ellie are already out there you can meet them at one of the posts” she explains. Jesus now your worry turned to them but your line of thought is interrupted by the radio, it was Jesse. “Maria, Tommy and Joel didn’t show to trade off” he explained. You take the radio from Maria, “Jesse its Y/N, where were they patrolling? Can you get, Ellie and Dina and meet me there?” You ask, he agrees to your plan. Your sister in laws body language had changed during the exchange.

“We need to go now” you shout to Molly as your get on your horse and take off. Behind you Molly is following and Maria had saddled up obviously now sharing in your worry. 

The wind and snow was harsh and whipped at your face as you rode ahead as fast as the horse would carry you, you must have been not far behind Ellie now. Neither Joel or Tommy’s had been at their post but their tracks had led you to a Chalet you had visited a couple of times on patrols. As you approached closer you could see more than two sets of tracks, they were disrupted slightly from the storm but there was defiantly a number of different footprints, other people were here. You had to be smart about this, the rest of the guys were still a bit behind you. You move into the building as quietly as possible and have to take out one guy standing watch at a patio door, he had a fresh cut right across his face. If anyone finds him they will know someone else is here, you had to move swiftly. As soon as enter the lodge you can hear cries of pain, guttural cries. It makes your stomach churn, you were right to have had a bad feeling. One more girl is pacing in the kitchen, you silence her by taking your small knife down on her. It had been a number of years since you had taken the life of a living person but you didn’t hesitate after hearing those cries.  

You follow the cries to a narrow staircase with a door at the bottom of it, you could feel your heart in you mouth as you took each step closer to the door. You peer through the slight crack and see a group of unfamiliar people and a figure standing above a bloody one. You take a breath remember where each person was standing, attach your silencer and pushing open the door quietly, you take out the three people closest to the door, one dead ahead the other two to your right side. You were still one of the best shots without a doubt, maybe just as good as Tommy. There were three left by the time they realised what had happened and your presence, a young man standing next to a women with cropped dark hair and a large women standing above the bloody figure, it was Joel along with Ellie and Tommy unconscious. 

The man goes to grab a pistol, lying next to the body of one of the men you just shot and without hesitation you reach round to your backpack pocket. Thank god it was still there. 

“Don’t any of you fucking move, or I will blow up everyone of us in this room” you spit out as you hold the grenade in their sight. They each stop in their tracks and the large girl standing above your husband loosens her grip on club. Joel tires to speak but barely a sound escapes his lips.

“You’re bluffing, why would y-“ she begins. 

“Try me”, you challenge her and there is a long pause “You let them go… you leave here and everyone gets to walk away from this or every single one of us just end it here”. This was madness but what other chance had you got, either way the people you loved could wind up dead, the only thing to stop these strangers was the threat of loosing their own lives and if it meant you went with them, so be it. 

“No, not him, not after what he did.” The girl lifted the club but you jump in “What ever he did, I am walking out of here with him, our daughter and that other man alive or none of us are” 

“He took everything from us! Killed my father, ruined any chance of a cure” the women says lowly shaking her head. 

“You’re fireflies?” You ask looking around at them but you already know the answer from what she had said. 

“Were. There are none, left he made sure of that. Killed most of us.” She answers. You speak without thinking, a stupid thing to do. 

“I don’t blame him… Protecting her, I would have done the same. They were going to butcher the brain of a child, our daughter for the smallest chance of cure. If that’s the price for a potential cure and humanity were so eager and willing to pay it, we didn’t deserve it. I know that much.”

She looks like she has seen red and goes to lift the club again but before she can send it crashing down one of the fireflies, the man stops her and you have pulled the pin on the grenade keeping your finger firmly pressed on the clip as he intervenes.

“Abby stop! She is going to kill all of us” he pleads with her looking between Abby and the women behind him with cropped dark hair that he called Mel. Your hand is shaking from your firm grip on the clip. 

“Are you insane?” The man asked, “When it comes to my family, yes” You reply looking down at Joel and Ellie. 

“Figures, crazy man, crazy wife” scoffs the other woman says looking between you and Joel.

“Don’t fucking touch him. I am giving you all a chance, take it. If I let go of this clip, dead or alive it only takes two seconds for this thing to go off”. You try sounding as calm as possible and it seems to pay off but inside your terrified more than you had ever been. In your head you pray, you had never prayed in your life, for them to leave, for the woman to put down the club, for them not to shoot you, for this bomb to be a dud like Joel had said but for them to not find out it was. 

You can hear commission from upstairs as the rest of the search party have caught up with you, you had bought all the time you needed. Owen grabs Mel by the arm and leaves through garage door. 

“You should go with your friends”

Abby looks torn for a moment her eyes fixed on Joel before she flings the golf club to her side and takes off, on horse back alongside her friends but you felt this part of the past would rear its ugly head again. 

As soon as it sounds clear you carefully place the pin back in the grenade and fall to the floor, guess you will never know if it was a dud or you almost killed everyone in this room. Ellie is still breathing but bruised, you look across at Tommy, the same. Your husband, you crawl across to Joel, the ground around him covered in blood you can feel it soaking your jeans. 

“Jesus, Joel can you hear me?” you say softly, tears in your eyes from the sight of him. His right eye swollen, strips of blood pouring down his face from a couple gashes he had taken on the head. You were worried to touch him in case it caused any more pain, it was hard to look at him like this.

“You got to stay with me, you cant leave me, you hear? You promised” you cry just as Maria, Jesse, Dina and Molly enter the room.

“Holy Fuck” Jesse whispers. You beg them to help Joel, Dina checks on Ellie who is starting to gain consciousness along with Tommy. 

“The storm has almost passed, Jesse and Dina find something we can make a stretcher out of. We can strap it to one of the horses and pull him back”. Maria says at her husbands side, it was the best anyone could do in the dead of winter. No one even thought about going after the remaining three strangers, what was important was the three people who each of you loved in this room.

You rode behind Jesse who’s horse is pulling Joel the entire trip, he sometimes groans or shifts and all you want to do is ask to stop and let him rest but there was no time for it, you had to get back as swiftly as possible. As soon as you arrive back in Jackson men are there to carry Joel’s stretcher into the surgery, you follow behind asking Dr Henry if he would be okay. She didn’t respond focusing solely on Joel, she tells you to stay in the hallway and when you start to protest and push forward Jesse is there pulling you back and when you stop fighting him into a hug. You finally let out a cry from everything, the horror of what you had seen, what you had almost done and at the thought of your husband’s life still hanging in the balance. Everything goes to black for a moment. 

*NOTES - I have to say I found this one pretty difficult to write so I apologise if it doesn't land as well as the other chapters. There is just so much that happens. I have decided to deviate slightly from the game, we have all seen the dark ending for Joel in the game so lets try something different