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sleepysnk · 4 years ago

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this wasn't a request, but it is a gift for my amazing friend @ererokii <3, she hit 800 and i felt like she deserved a little something from me! this will be a self-insert fic, so it won't be a (y/n) story. i hope you enjoy! you're an amazing friend and i'm so glad we met 🥺❤ i love you queen ♡.

Eren x Aimee Modern AU: Snowy Romance

Warnings: None

Eren's eyes followed the dark-haired girl in his chemistry class. He wasn't paying attention to anything the professor was saying, as he was too distracted by Aimee.

He knew Aimee since his freshmen year of college, she was in his Biology class the year before, and he was her lab partner. She absolutely blew him away, with her long dark hair, to her tan skin, and lovely eyes. Eren fell hard for her. She was very closed off to him, he tried speaking with her, but she barely spoke many words, and never said much about herself.

The two became pretty good friends in his bio class, but once summer came the two pretty much stopped speaking. Eren was a bit disappointed that things went that way, he wanted to see her more.

When Eren saw her in his chemistry class, he was ecstatic. He felt as if it was a new opportunity for them to become close again.

"Eren! Come on dude, we have to finish lab" Armin said and slapped his arm.

Eren shook his head and broke out of his thoughts. "S-Sorry! I zoned out" he said and looked on his laptop.

His friend looked towards him. "You've done that about three times, and I know why you keep zoning out. Just say you like her and get it over with" he said and crossed his arms.

He felt a blush rush onto his cheeks thinking about Aimee. "Can you not say that so loud?! Jeez dude... and I will ask, just not right now" he replied and ran a hand through his now grown out hair.

Armin nodded. "You realize you don't have much time? The semester ends soon and you won't see her for awhile" he said and placed his pen down. "I suggest you get it done soon" he added.

That thought alone made him feel queasy, he would have to confess soon, or lose the opportunity. It's not like the two will end up in another class again like this, so he had to do it either way. Eren had to man up and finally tell Aimee how he felt.

"Fine, I'll do it.. but I just don't know how" Eren said and looked at Armin.

The blonde looked at him. "Plan a little date, take her to that coffee shop near campus. Maybe go for a nice walk, the shops near town have nice lights" he said and smiled a bit.

He nodded. "Sounds like a good idea, I'll have to ask soon" he said and looked at his laptop.

The professor looked around at the class. "Class is dismissed for today! Remember, your labs are due on Friday! This is a grade, so please do your best!" he said.

Eren placed his stuff in his backpack and looked over as he saw Aimee exiting the classroom, he followed after her to go talk to her.

"Aimee!" Eren called and tapped her shoulder.

She turned back and looked around. "What's up Eren? Do you need help with the lab or something?" she asked.

He sighed and felt his heart beginning to race. "N-No, actually, I was wondering if um.. you wanted to hangout tomorrow? Go for some coffee or something? O-Only if you want to" he said and looked at her.

Aimee felt heat rush onto her cheeks, she always found Eren to be quite cute. "U-Um.. sure! I'm down to go, what time?" she asked.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe around 6 or 7? I can pick you up" he replied.

She nodded. "S-Sure! That'd be great.." she said and laughed a bit.

He smiled and looked down at her. "Cool, I'll see you then. Have a good night, okay?" he said and blushed a bit.

Aimee blushed. "Thank you, you too Eren" she said and began to walk back to her dorm.

Eren smiled to himself as he began to make his way back to his dorm, he was so excited to go on that date with her. He was a bit nervous though, considering that he's never been on a date before, but he'll probably make it through. Just don't be awkward.

Eren opened the door to his dorm and saw Armin sitting on his bed. "Hey, how did it go? Did she say yes?" he asked.

He smiled. "She said yes!" he replied and smiled excitedly at his friend.

Armin nodded. "Wow! Dude that's great, you really got lucky" he said and patted his back.

Eren placed his stuff onto his side of the bed. "Yes I did, but I just feel nervous. I hope she doesn't deny me at all" he said and leaned back against the wall.

Armin looked over at him. "If she does that's okay, there's other fish in the sea" he replied.

Eren smiled to himself thinking of Aimee. "Yeah there is but... no one like her" he said and looked down.

Armin couldn't help but smile at what Eren said, he knew he always cared for Aimee, even if they weren't extremely close.

"You got this Eren... I believe in you" he said and looked down on his phone.

Eren smiled. "Yeah I do, I'll do it" he replied and sat up.

The rest of the day seemed to fly by for both Eren and Aimee, it was already the next day. Eren didn't have any classes for the day, but Aimee had a class. She told Eren to pick her up there, since she didn't think she would go back to her dorm before the date.

Aimee was nervous herself, she was always fond of the brunette boy. He was cute and she always felt her heart flutter whenever his teal eyes looked her way, it made her soft. She practically ranted to her roommate the whole night about how nervous she was.

Class seemed to fly by and within minutes the professor ended class. "See you all tomorrow" he said and waved.

Aimee stood up and texted Eren, letting him know that her class was over. Eren was in the parking lot waiting for her in his car, it was dark since the sun set so early in the winter. The chilly air hit his skin as he got out to wait for her, his long hair tied back in a bun, and cologne came off his clothes.

Aimee exited the building and searched for Eren's car. "Aimee!" he called as he waved his hand for her.

She made her way to his car and shivered a bit as the cold air surrounded her. "H-Hey" she said and looked up at him.

He smiled. "Hey.. wanna hop in?" he asked and nodded.

She shivered. "Y-Yeah! It's freezing" she replied and went to enter his car.

The two both got inside of his car and he turned it on to start up the heat. "I think it's gonna snow tonight too, so that'll be fun" he said sarcastically as he put on his seatbelt.

Aimee nodded and put on her own seatbelt. "That's great" she replied and laughed a bit.

Eren couldn't help but admire her beauty as she sat in his car. She was truly so beautiful to him, he was so tempted to kiss her right then and there, but he had to hold back.

"How was class?" Eren asked and looked over at her.

She sighed. "Okay I guess.. it was boring" she replied and nodded.

Eren nodded and began to drive his car to the cafe, the ride there wasn't very awkward. Aimee felt nervous being so close to Eren, the two never really spent time alone together, she didn't want to make things weird or awkward.

"We're here" he said and broke her out of her thoughts.

She looked around outside, the lights lined the streets as people walked by with shopping bags or coffees. She smiled at the night, she got out of the car with Eren and waited for him to come by her side.

"Let's go in" he said and smiled a bit.

Aimee followed Eren as he held the door open for her. She walked inside the cafe and the smell of coffee filled her into her nose, the warmth and vibe from the place made her feel cozy.

Eren and Aimee sat down at a table. "This is nice" she said and smiled a bit.

Eren nodded. "Yeah it is.. I found this place awhile back, I came here sometimes when I was a freshman" he said and looked around.

She couldn't help but feel really bashful around Eren, there was something about him that made her feel warm and fuzzy.

"So um.. how are your classes?" she asked trying to make it less awkward.

He sighed. "They're okay... I'm just trying my best to make it through the semester" he replied and shrugged.

She looked at the table. "Yeah same" she said and looked back up at him.

Eren smiled a bit. "You look really great by the way" he said and eyed her.

Aimee felt a blush paint across her cheeks. "O-Oh! Thank you Eren.. you look good yourself" she said and laughed nervously.

He stood up. "Want anything? I'm gonna go get a coffee, I'll pay" he asked.

She thought for a moment. "Uh.. just get me a coffee too" she replied and blinked.

Eren laughed a bit. "Alright.. be right back" he said and walked over to the counter to get their drinks.

Aimee rubbed her hands together as she looked around the cafe, she was pretty nervous still. Her roommate told her to not worry, but this was kind of her first date, and it was with EREN out of all people. This boy did things that made her have butterflies.

She looked up and saw Eren coming over with their coffees. "Here you go" he said and smiled.

She took the warm coffee from his hands. "Thank you Eren.." she said and looked at the cup of hot liquid.

He smiled. "No problem.. so I remember you told me you like to draw?" he asked and nodded.

Aimee looked up a bit, she felt her stomach swarm with butterflies realizing that he still remembered everything about her. She always assumed Eren would forget silly details, but he didn't.

"O-Oh, yeah! I don't draw as often anymore. I'm more into writing" she said and smiled a bit.

He nodded and leaned back in his chair. "That's really cool, I wish I could write. You seem really talented" he said.

She blushed at his words. "Eh.. it's okay I guess, sometimes it can be really shitty. Like our chem professor" she said and laughed a bit.

Eren chuckled. "Yeah for real, he can be such an ass. I don't even know why I stuck around in his class, he makes me bored" he said.

Aimee nodded. "Literally! I wish I never chose it" she replied and sipped a bit of her coffee.

He looked on his phone to check his phone. "Hey.. do you wanna go walk around outside? Maybe go to the other shops?" he asked.

She looked up. "Sure! Let's go" she replied and put her coat back on.

Eren stood up and waited for Aimee to finish putting her coat on, the two left the cafe. The snow began to fall, it blanketed the street like a sheet and it fell down from the sky and landed softly onto the ground. The lights making the snow look like tiny crystals on the ground.

Aimee looked around and smiled. "Wow... it looks so lovely" she said looked at Eren.

He nodded. "Yeah.. come on, let's go" he said and held his hand out to her. "It's a bit icy.. don't want you to trip" he added and smiled.

She blushed and placed her hand into his, Eren's hands were so warm. She smiled as he guided her down the street, the two looked at the different shops and stores that were lined along the streets.

Aimee stood in front of a store that had a pretty dress in the front of it. "That looks pretty" she said and admired it.

Eren nodded. "It would look even prettier on you" he said and smiled at her.

She looked at him and felt her heart flutter, and a blush to paint over her cheeks. "No way! I could never rock that" she said and rolled her eyes playfully.

Eren chuckled. "Yes way! You look good in anything Aimee... I mean that" he said and looked into her brown eyes.

She smiled at him. "Really?" she asked and nodded.

He smiled. "Yes really... I actually have something to tell you" he said and blushed a bit.

Aimee felt her heart beginning to race. "And that is?" she asked.

Eren sighed and took a deep breath. "Aimee.. I-I.. I like you a lot, like a lot. Ever since we met in bio, you always were amazing to me. You are such a sweet girl and I didn't want the opportunity to tell you slip away, so yeah.. I like you" he replied and held her hand.

Aimee felt butterflies form into her stomach, she noticed as the snow began to fall in his hair which made him even more handsome.

"Eren... I like you too, for a pretty long time as well" she said and smiled at him.

Eren stood there and smiled at her. "Really?" he asked and nodded.

She laughed. "Yes! I do.." she replied.

He felt his heart begin to race and he felt so happy, he never thought she would feel the same. The two hadn't really talked much, so he thought she would just say no.

Eren couldn't help but admire the scene in front of him, she looked even more beautiful as the snow fell around them.

"Do you wanna get out of here? We can go back to my dorm if you want" he asked and nodded.

Aimee smiled. "I'd love to" she replied and looked into his eyes.

Eren took her hand in his and guided her back to his car, the two spent the rest of the night in Eren's dorm talking and cuddling with each other. A few kisses were also exchanged too.

"Hey Eren.." Aimee said and looked at Eren.

He nodded. "What's up?" he asked and looked down at her.

She smiled. "Thank you.. for tonight, it meant a lot to me" she replied and kissed his cheek.

Eren smiled and ran his hands through her hair. "Of course Aimee... it meant a lot to me too" he said and kissed her head.

"Now can we cuddle more? It's really cold" she asked and laughed a bit.

He chuckled. "Alright... come here" he replied and opened his arms for her.

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starlightkun · 4 years ago

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which major would NCT OT23 do if they weren't idols, in your opinion?

uhh some of these r like absolutely my mind is set and others i was like 'eh' and threw them in there ALSO i wasn't sure if you wanted me to exclude music/dance majors but i didn't rip some of these boys i couldn't see them doing anything other than music ALSO idk of any universities that offer culinary and/or agriculture majors in addition to typical academic majors but here at neo city technological institution (abbreviated as nct or neo tech) we do offer culinary and agriculture as a major in addition to our fine arts and academic majors thank u

below the cut bc there’s 23 of these fuckers so this is l o n g

taeil - music (vocals track) johnny - phys ed (doing sport AND working with kids?? coach suh was made for this) taeyong - agriculture (mans literally said he'd be a farmer if he wasn't an idol im not abt to say he was wrong lmao) yuta - psych (research track) kun - culinary/music (yes my mans is dual majoring shut up he's brilliant and hot) doyoung - english/literature ten - dance (i cannot imagine this man doing anything else with his life he was born for dancing imo) jaehyun - education (elementary track bc that video of jaehyun with the kindergarten students i cry every time) sicheng - dance (before becoming an idol sicheng was specializing in traditional chinese dance anyway, i fully believe he'd still be on that path now) jungwoo - psych (clinical track) yukhei - phys ed (no im not just choosing the jock members to be phys ed teachers shut up, yukhei as a gym teacher probably would've been enthusiastic enough to get my depressed 9th grade ass off my phone and do a sport) mark - interdisciplinary (our all-rounder mark lee would obvious do interdisciplinary of like three different majors all into one) dejun - business and/or communications (he said that he wanted to be an agent if he weren't an idol, this seemed like the two most reasonable majors for that career path) hendery - engineering (mechanical/robotics track, robot builder hendery!!) renjun - astrophysics (he WILL find proof of extraterrestrial life) jeno - marine bio (he'll find even more horrors at the bottom of the ocean and we'll all hate him for making us aware of these things) donghyuck - music (another one who i couldn't imagine doing anything else hyuck was made to be a performer) jaemin - bio (pre-med track) yangyang - computer science shotaro - dance (tiktok track IM KIDDING IM KIDDING WE DO NOT OFFER A TIKTOK DANCE TRACK OF OUR DANCE MAJOR HERE AT NEO TECH I ASSURE YOU) sungchan - *spins a wheel* communications? chenle - chem (chose it randomly as a major bc he wanted to blow stuff up but now he actually enjoys it lmao) jisung - dance (another boy that i simply cannot imagine doing anything else with his life)

#answered #anonymous #talk #text #mine #ot23 #this was kina fun #i got this ask like 12 hrs ago i have been Contemplating ok

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spideyscnse · 5 years ago

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hey, i saw u were taking requests and i really love your writing!! could u possibly do something where reader is a nerd and she works at a bookstore and peter comes in?? idk where to go from there but i’d like it to be super fluffy and cute if u like :))) thank u so much x

a/n: hi! aw, i’m so flattered that you love my writing! i’m so so sorry for taking so long, but i was so excited by this idea when i saw it because it’s so cute! to make up for it i wrote 3k words and made it extra cute :) hope you enjoy

sci-fi

pairing: peter parker x booknerd!reader

word count: 3k

warnings: none :) just super cute fluff and pureness

summary: y/n is so much of a book lover that the moment she hit fifteen, she applied for a job at her favourite, local bookstore. one day, a boy called peter parker shows up at the store.

note: please don’t plagiarise my work!

masterlist

You had your earbuds in as you left the school through the back gate—the gate that would take the least amount of time to get to the bookstore. You had work today, and it was why Tuesdays and Thursdays were your favourite days of the week.

Your school was a small one, almost adjacent to the prestigious Midtown High, where all of the smart kids went. You went to a girl’s private school opposite to it, and while you liked her school well enough, you sometimes wished that you’d applied to Midtown instead. Just because it seemed so much bigger and fun. Maybe it was just you, though.

The store was a fifteen-minute walk away, and you managed to get through four songs on your way there.

Pulling out your earbuds and switching off your music, you pushed the door open with a soft tinkle and made your way into the store. The relaxing smell of worn pages and coffee greeted you instantly, and just at the scent, you felt yourself calm, because it was such a homely feeling for you.This was where you were when you weren’t at school or at home, and it had been your place to go since you were very little.

“Good afternoon, Jane,” You called out to the manager, who sat at the checkout desk, and the kind lady gave you a warm smile, like she did every time she saw you.

“Hey, Y/N,” She responded, glancing up from the tablet she was scrolling through, no doubt checking through book orders, “You got here quickly, today.”

You chuckled, “Oh, yeah, I saw on Instagram that the next book in my favourite series got released yesterday and I rushed here as soon as I could.”

“Alright,” Jane said with an amused, affectionate look in her eyes, “Well, go get changed into your uniform and then you can go find that book you want.”

Eagerly, you nodded and headed to the back room to drop off your bag and change out of your school’s uniform—a white blouse and dark green skirt. The school logo was embroidered over the chest pocket of the shirt, and a silver and green tie hung from around your neck, tucked neatly under the collar.

Quickly, you pulled out your work clothes, which were far more comfortable—Jane was pretty loose on the dress code, so long as you wore the lanyard and name badge. So, today you’d opted to bring a grey sweatshirt and leggings, which would be cosy enough for you to walk between the shelves and look for people who needed help—also, for you to find that book you needed.Once you’d folded up your school uniform and slipped it neatly into your bag, you stepped out into the store again, greeted by the smell again, that you’d never get tired of.You headed to the YA aisle, the one where you knew your book would be, and you spotted it immediately—it was sitting gloriously on the new releases table, and you quickly snatched up a copy, flipping through it and letting out a satisfied sigh. You resisted the urge to just start reading it then and there, reminding yourself that you were at work and there were customers all around you. So, instead you slipped it into the front pocket of your sweatshirt, making a mental note to pay for it when you left.

Despite your efforts to focus, though, the thoughts of that one book remained swirling in your mind. This made it very difficult to maintain a calm tone of voice when people asked you for help finding things, just because on the inside, you were far too excited.

But you still went about your job like you always would—calmly, kindly, and patiently. Even with the people who complained to you about the prices, or tried to haggle you for a deal, no doubt thinking you’d give it to them, since you were young and looked it, too.

You were sorting through a massive stack of books that had arrived the day before, unboxing each, marking them down and then ordering them alphabetically on the new shelves, when somebody tapped you on the shoulder and made you jump…probably more dramatically than you needed to.

You dropped the two books that were in your hands at the time, and yelped, “I’m sorry! What did you need—?”

Your sentence was cut off as you caught sight of the boy’s face, and the words evaporated from your tongue. He had curly, chocolate-brown hair and warm, wide eyes that were currently filled with concern and shock…at your surprise, probably.

But he was extraordinarily pretty, and you found yourself looking away, leaning down to pick up the books you’d dropped. You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry, what did you need help with?”

“Uhh,” He seemed to be almost at a lost for words as he glanced at you, suddenly nervous, “I was looking for some books for my science project? I wasn’t sure where I should start…”

You smiled, and he blushed, and you gestured for him to follow you. It was rare that a high school kid came in looking for books about science—didn’t most people just find things online nowadays for school assignments?—nevertheless, you decided this boy was far too precious to just refer him to online.Especially not when this bookstore had such a great range of science books; while you loved your fiction, the science was your second favourite.

As you approached the wall, even the boy seemed to be kind of in a sense of awe. You began to talk, hiding your amusement at his amazement. “This is the science wall! It’s my second favourite section, and it’s got basically everything.” You pointed to the said areas as you explained, “They’re organised by subtopics, so you’ve got bio here, and then physics, chem, and so on.”

“What would you recommend for a physics assignment?”

You gave him a curious look, “Well, the ones with the green spines are really detailed,” you started, even though you weren’t quite sure exactly what he was looking for. “If you’re into more basic stuff, the ones on the very left of the shelf, and the more complex stuff is to the right.”

He was quiet for a long moment after you finished. You weren’t sure if he was soaking up the information or just blanked out. Regardless, it left you standing there half-smiling, basking in the awkwardness.It was almost twenty seconds later that the boy seemed to remember that you were waiting for his response, and he immediately flushed, “I’m so sorry, thanks for taking me here—um, sorry, I didn’t get your name…”

“It’s Y/N,” You responded, pointing at the name tag that was pinned onto your lanyard, “And yours?”

“Peter,” He responded shyly, running a hand nervously through his curls, “What school do you go to? I don’t think I’ve seen you around on campus.”

“I go to Y/S/N,” You explained, sheepish, even though you weren’t sure why you were so nervous, and why your palms were sweating, “It’s a girls’ private school, which is probably why you don’t see me at school.” You laughed off your nerves, even though you felt heat begin to crawl through your cheeks.

Peter seemed to deflate a bit, the smile fading from his eyes, “Well, then, I won’t be able to see you. I was hoping you went to my school…”

“Guess you’ll have to come ‘round to the bookstore more often, then,” You said teasingly, “To get your books for your smart-kid assignments. Assessments are mostly over now anyway—except for at Midtown, I hear. Is that where you go?”

He nodded in answer, giving a small smile, even as his eyes turned and became glued to the books on the shelves. He scanned through the titles and asked absently, “What gave it away?”

“You’re looking for science books, Peter,” You said with a small giggle, “Isn’t Midtown a STEM school? I just assumed.”

“Y/N!” Jane called from the front of the shop, and you immediately perked up, your conversation interrupted.Peter sighed, even though he diligently kept the kind smile on his lips, “Well, I guess duty calls, huh?”

You nodded, pressing your lips into a taut smile, a bit disappointed as well, that you had to go now. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“You bet you will,” He said, giving a grin, “I’ll be sure to come whenever I can to get your expertise on science-y books for my smart-kid assignments.”

You almost choked on a laugh as you tried to swallow it, “Good luck with your assessment! And the science books!”

***

Peter kept true to his word.

That boy seemed to make it his mission to show up every day, and talk to you all about your recommendations and his science assignments. Not that you minded—it was kind of cute, what with how enthusiastic he got when he was rambling.

Today, though, Peter was late. School ended two hours ago, and still. No sign of him. Usually he would’ve been here almost at the same time as you, since he’d taken to doing all of his homework in the shop.

Despite how hard you tried to not let it distract you, you really couldn’t help the glances you kept throwing over your shoulder at the door, to check for any sign of him. To be honest, you weren’t quite sure why you anticipated his arrival so much, seeing as he probably had his own work to do, but still…You did your job fine; you made sure to put all of the new arrivals in alphabetical order and unbox all of the stock for the week, but even Jane noticed that you weren’t as focused as usual. And from the knowing gleam in her eyes, she knew exactly why you looked so much more worried and tense than usual.

“Y/N, are you waiting for that brown-haired boy?” She called out, her chin leaning on her palm and looking quite amused.

You fumbled with the stack of books you were holding and said, suddenly flustered, “No, no I’m not,” You denied, even though your words were broken by a nervous stutter.Internally, you swore in frustration at yourself because why were you suddenly so nervous? Jane hadn’t even said anything, really, but—

“Then why do you keep looking out the window? I know that the boy comes every time that you’re here. We all fall in love at some point,” Jane said, her tone turning into a teasing one.

Fall in love?

“Oh, I’m not in love with him—I’m just—I just,” You stammered feebly, “I just like looking at the window display.”

Jane hummed, finally turning her gaze away to return to clicking away at her computer, probably filing in orders. “Sure thing.” Even though her stare had shifted from you, her knowing smile hadn’t faded and you bit your lip in embarrassment before returning to sorting the books.

You weren’t in love with Peter, you barely even knew him! It wasn’t like that—

“Sorry I’m late!”

And yet at the first sound of his voice you stopped everything that you were doing and spun around so fast your hair gave you whiplash.

“Y/N!” He called, his hair mussed by the wind, eyes wide. He was holding his bag, seeming to still be stuffing something into the back pocket of it, and he seemed extremely puffed.

“Peter,” You said, furrowing your brows, “You didn’t have to rush. If you were busy you could’ve just sent me a text.”

As if by instinct he reached into his back pocket for his phone as you mentioned texting, and he pulled it out as he responded, “I’m sorry, something came up that I had to take care of. It’s all good now, though! What new books arrived this week?”

Even though internally, you were still concerned for his well-being, since he looked so genuinely out-of-breath, but the fact that he’d rushed over to talk to you today was kind of…touching. Cute.

You brushed those thoughts away, though, effectively stopping the blush you felt beginning to form on the apples of your cheeks, “We got lots of fiction this week, actually. There’s some sci-fi I think you would like. Is your assignment finished now?”

Peter rubbed his neck almost shyly, “Oh, yeah, it was due today, actually. Thanks for all your help, I think I did better than usual.”

“It’s nothing,” You replied, giving him a smile, quickly turning to finish sorting out the last couple books, and then leading him to the fiction section. He eagerly followed.

“Do you read fiction much?” You decided to ask him, breaking the silence that had settled between the two of you.

“Sometimes,” He said, “I get pretty busy, though, so I don’t usually have a lot of time to read. I wish I did.”

You approached the fiction shelves and ran your hand over the spines, searching for the new arrivals you wanted to recommend to him, “Here,” You pulled the first out, then the second.

“These are really good, I read them yesterday,” You told him, passing the two to him, and he flipped through them curiously, “They’re about the stuff you’re into. Like, science-y, smart superhero, space-battle type stuff.”

His eyes lit up as he scanned through, murmuring absently, “I love that stuff! I can kinda relate to them.”

That piqued your curiosity, and you couldn’t stop yourself from asking, “What do you mean?”“Huh?”“What do you mean you can relate?”

Suddenly, Peter bit his lip and ran a hand nervously through his hair, “Oh, what, I said that? Uh, I just mean I relate to the struggles of the superheroes, you know? It’s kind of…inspirational.”

You considered his words, “You’re right. We do have a lot of superheroes around here, don’t we?” You chuckled a bit to yourself, averting your eyes because his gaze had become far too intense and focused for you to maintain the eye-contact whilst keeping your heart rate at a healthy pace.

“What do you think of them?” He asked, tucking the two books under his arm, seeming satisfied with your selection, “The superheroes, I mean.”

“They’re cool,” You said with a shrug, “They do cool things and they’re important. I kind of wanna be one,” You laughed lightly, “They actually make a difference, you know? I kind of just hang around here and just…” You trailed off, unsure of where you were going, but Peter seemed to understand.

Your eyes were fixated on your feet now, and you shifted on your feet when he didn’t say anything.Then, suddenly, he poked your cheek gently, making you look up at him, and then he said, “You don’t need to be a superhero to make a difference, Y/N.” He leaned in a bit closer and tilted your chin up with two fingers.

Oh gosh oh he was so close now you could see every shade in his eyes—

You hoped he couldn’t hear your heartbeat, but you swore you noted his ears tinge with pink ever so slightly as well when he whispered, “You’re pretty amazing already, I can tell you that.”

“I—Peter, I—,”

“Right,” Suddenly extremely shy, he quickly pulled away. Okay, his face was definitely burning bright red now, you were sure of it, “Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable—,”

“Peter,” You said softly, taking his hand gently in yours, “I wasn’t uncomfortable, I just…” You shook your head, “Never mind. But, thank you, Peter.”

“It’s just the truth,” He said, meeting your eyes with his own.

You weren’t sure what exactly gave you the confidence to do it, but with a light laugh you leant up on your toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Thank you. You’re pretty amazing too, Peter.”He seemed to be at a loss for words. His cheeks were bright pink and his mouth opened and closed as he searched for the right thing to say. He looked so pretty.

“I-uh,” You bit your lip nervously—shyly, “Are you gonna get the books?”

That shook him out of his trance and he stammered, “Oh, yeah, I will, sorry—,”

“It’s okay,” You laughed, too giddy with the butterflies in your stomach to be nervous about what you’d just done anymore.

After he checked out, you said, “Call me and tell me what you think about those books, okay?”He left with a nod and a beaming smile, and Jane gave you that knowing look again.

“You just like looking at the window display, huh?” She said after the door shut behind him.You half-groaned, half-laughed as you shook your head and began heading back into the depths of the store to keep sorting the stock.

But you couldn’t help the grin of pure joy that formed on your lips the moment you were out of plain sight.

***

Tony didn’t usually pick Peter up, but today he’d been near the store anyway, so he offered to take him to the tower.The moment he got on the car, though, Tony noted his love-struck, dazed expression and said, “So, who’s the lucky person who’s snagged Peter Parker’s eye, huh?”He started up the car, which luckily pulled his gaze away from Peter, because the boy blushed furiously at Tony’s words.

“Uh, Mr. Stark, it’s nothing,” He said, shaking his head, “I just got some books that I like, that’s all—,” he pulled the two books he’d bought out of his bag, and Tony glanced at them.

“Since when did you read fiction?Peter fumbled for an excuse, “Uh, since today?”Tony scoffed in amusement, teasingly saying, “Must be some good books to have you looking so in love.”

Peter didn’t have any reply, or excuse, to respond with because he was really, really bad at lying and he knew that Tony already knew, anyway.“Yeah, they’re pretty amazing books,” He said instead.

Tony didn’t push any further, because it was just too cute.

He smiled fondly.

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tishitarajput · 4 years ago

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Laws made, being used but not being created, Why? Were they extra-ordinary or ordinary ?

There was a time of plague pandemic the most terrible one untill 2020 the cursed year. During lockdown in great plague of 1665 Newton created calculus, gravity, etc. I don't have to tell u how important those laws, theories and discoveries were. I just want to address that no one from this planet have done something revolutionary during this covid pandemic period yet. Why is that so? I don't know about you but I have been being busy in learning what we human have already known and ofcourse wasting my time in interesting webseries. By learning what has been already known I mean I had been trying to understand various laws in physics, about animal kingdom in bio, carbon compounds in chem, etc learning these things made me productive but was that needed? I am a student so ya it will help me someday. I found a very interesting mistake of human kind by examining my mistakes. We know every human is smart and able to do something worthwhile with some help in right direction. We have been wasting this mind Power !! There are only approx 2000000 people working to discover new things. And rest all like billions of people are just engaged in manufacturing of slightly different things. Like new versions of smart phones and cars etc. Logically who really needs that slight difference. How usefull can that slight difference be? Instead what if we break our heads lil more and develope a new law ? By which a lot of difference can be created and a lot of new things can be made.

For eg: right now we are still discovering what is 4 + 6. We know 2+2 is 4 and we are just continuing adding these numbers by adding only how much time do u think will it take us to reach 100 ?

My point is to instead develop a new law just slightly change ur plus to x . Now we have known 4+ 4 =8, so we can simply make a law as two 4 equals to 8. Like any number added n number of times to itself gives sum of it being added n no. Of times.

This seems complex but a law made by anyone is just by the persons observation. Like if something acts in a simlar way everytime it is converted into a law. Law is made just to indicate the stubbornness of a thing. For eg in any reaction mass of reactants have been observed similar to mass of products so thereby the law of conservation of mass is derived

This went bigger than I expected but I just wanted to explain it well and the only motive for explaining this is to encourage people for observing nature , energy or anything in surrounding and derive there own laws ! I also want people to equally focus on creating as on learning. Afterall u r learning now to create than so better get in habit. Also no one is gonna remember u for completing ur PhD , but If u took comparatively negligible pain in observing u will be known for deriving a law! I hope u would like ur pic on textbooks even years after ur death:-P

I would have mentioned extremely simple yet important laws here but it's already too long if u wanna know which are they u can ask me B-)

Thank you for reading 😊

#biology #chemistry #physics #spirituality #fascinating #lawsandscience #science #dash observation #my observations #create #makeurownscience #ownscience

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naturallytom · 6 years ago

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28 questions tag

I was tagged by @peter-i-got-homework-parker thank u!!

1. How tall are you?

5′1

5. Do you wear braces?

6. What is your fashion style?

comfy n cozy!!

7. Full name?

all im saying is Ally lmaooo

8. When were you born?

November 10, 1999

9. Where are you from and where do you live now?

Massachusetts born & raised

10. What school do you go to?

College!!

11. What kind of student are you?

Super super hard working & dedicated!!

12. Do you like school?

I do!!

13. What are your favorite school subjects?

History, science (chem, physics, astronomy, but not bio lmao), psychology, criminology + related classes, philosophy (ethics in particular!!)

14. Favorite tv shows?

stranger things, gotham, you, criminal minds, shameless

15. Favorite Movies?

iron man 3, love, simon & the sixth sense

16. Favorite books?

an evil mind, looking for alaska & the fault in our stars!!

17. Favorite pastime?

writing, reading, watching tv shows/movies

18. Do you have any regrets?

yupp

19. Dream job?

victim advocate or FBI profiler!!

20. Would you like to get married someday?

Yepp

21. Would you like to have kids someday?

Yep

22. How many?

2-3

23. Do you like shopping?

Yeah I don’t mind it!!

24. What countries have you visited?

England, Mexico, Turks and Caicos, Canada

25. What’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

I had a dream one time that my mom and I were looking at apartments and we got to one and it was super dark and the door was open and all i saw was a tall skinny man behind the front desk with no face and i got hysterical, begging my mom not to go but she pushed me in and i was killed and then i was a ghost and had to rewatch the moment my mom pushed me to my death over and over again

26. Do you have any enemies?

I mean probably some people from high school

27. Do you have an s/o?

not yet

28. Do you believe in miracles?

sure

tagging: anyone who wants to do this!!

#tag game #about me #death tw

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melonmork · 7 years ago

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college jungwoo pt 1

alright my honeys are u ready??💕🌷🌸

~okay i dont feel like i know jungwoo as well as the other members since i havent known him as long but im gonna do my best!!

~jungwoo is in his sophomore year studying to be a veterinarian so hes always very busy since he's taking science-intensive classes

~he loves biology. it's easily his best class; he makes As on nearly every assignment and he focuses super hard during labs, but this also means he's almost always either in the campus library or cafe studying or writing lab reports

~his junior friend doyoung always has to drag him away from studying or writing because jungwoo will forget to eat, he'll only drink lattes or hot chocolate for an entire day

~jungwoo resists doyoung but he's always thankful once they're eating together and jungwoo has the chance to see his friends and relax. he's a workaholic, but he enjoys his friends' company immensely when they manage to drag him away from his textbooks

~you're also a sophomore! u know jungwoo because you had bio lab with him in freshman year and he was often your lab partner

~you honestly felt bad when he voluntarily partnered with you because you felt like you werent as good at bio as him. whenever he approached you first about partnering up, you felt like he did it out of pity. after all, he's a sweet boy and he even helped you on your calc homework after labs even though he wasnt in calc

~but you loved being partnered up with him :^) jungwoo would subtly take charge of the lab because he got super excited about being hands-on with the scientific material he was learning about

~he would quietly and patiently help you set up equipment, reaching beakers from high shelves for you without teasing you, lighting burners for you bc those things are scary as heck (jungwoo: is it okay if i do that? i dont want you to get hurt :-o)

~one time he even put your apron on for you and tied the strings behind you (after asking your permission, of course) and you could have sworn you saw a cute dusting of pink on his cheeks as he asked

~u have not forgotten anything about that moment,,,

~also, being his lab partner meant you got to see his cute smile up close!!! actually all year during labs you would glance his way constantly, admiring the soft features of his profile and the way his eyebrows would furrow and he'd purse his lips when he was super concentrated on a task

~sometimes, every now and again, he'd catch you watching him and the two of you would blush and look away and pretend like it never happened

~through the year you two became closer and you exchanged numbers and would send each other notes and ask about each other's lab reports

~eventually the texting ventured away from school and once he even invited you to get smoothies with him at the end of second semester

~but over the summer, you two fell out of touch :~( and this year you didnt have any classes together

~honestly, you missed him a lot. you have chem lab this year and your regular chem partner is sweet and helpful but not as,,, well,,, enchanting as jungwoo was, so you admittedly dont enjoy lab as much as last year

~in fact, u dont even really see him until one night when you're in the library printing out a two page essay you wrote (last minute) for literature

~you're waiting by the printer, wearing sweats, a hoodie, and teddy bear slippers, literally nodding off as you wait for this old printer to crank out those pages

~after a few seconds it starts humming loudly and you perk up, ready to snatch those pages and trudge back to your dorm so you can go the heck to sleep

~the printer spits out two pages and you go to grab them but ,...more pages keep coming out... and more and more and more and you're standing there in front of the printer like ????? what is going on????

~you dont see anyone else in the library and most of the computers are visible from where you're standing so you're thoroughly confused

~you wait for a bit longer as the printer finishes up and for a second you hesitate to grab papers that obviously arent yours but... maybe yours are in there? so you grab the stack and look at the name

~your heart skips a beat when you read the name on the paper.... "jungwoo?" you read aloud

~and you jump in surprise when you hear a small "hi" from behind you

~feeling your cheeks heat up, you sheepishly turn to face him, embarrassed to be seeing The Kim Jungwoo, the sweetheart angel boy who you havent seen in so long, while wearing sweats and a hoodie and slippers

~but it's okay cause sweetheart angel boy is also wearing sweats, a hoodie, and slippers..... and wow does jungwoo look exhausted :~( your embarrassment wanes as you get a good look at his softly smiling face

~he has exaggerated dark circles under his eyes and his skin isnt as clear as you remember it being last year, his hair looks like he's been running his hands through it all day, and his smile is a little bit less bright than it used to be

~but he still looks ethereal... his hoodie framing his wide shoulders so cutely, strands of his soft black hair falling haphazardly over his forehead and his pretty mouth forming that warm smile of his, framing his cute teeth and Oh My God your little crush on him has not gone away at all

~"jungwoo... how,, have you been?" you manage, heat rising to your cheeks again

~"ive been alright... sort of overwhelmed this semester!" he laughs softly and glances down at his feet, then looks back up at you, "but im okay. how are you?" he looks you in the eyes and smiles again and your stomach does a lil flip

~"im pretty good! i dont like my lab partner this year near as much as last year, though"

~it's quiet for a moment after u say that and u realize what u just said and u feel ur face burning up now because whY thE Heck did u just blurt that out oh no hes gonna be creeped out oh no

~but his smile widens and his entire face softens and he lets out a genuine little laugh

~"yeah, me neither. i... miss you" he says, hesitating a little and looking down at his feet again

~your heart warms up and ur stomach does that lil flip again and you smile and for a few seconds it's quiet and you finally say "me too." and then it's quiet again

~then u remember that you're still holding jungwoo's enormous stack of papers in your hands so you shuffle over to him and hand them over and he takes them, apologizing for making you hold them for so long and you laugh and tell him he didnt make you carry them

~and u stand in front of each other for another few seconds, awkwardly wondering whether to continue talking or to move along

~finally, jungwoo says he has to get going and that it was nice to see you and he flashes you a tired smile before making his way out of the library, laden with a huge bookbag and a textbook in his arms as well as all of his papers

~you watch him go, feeling a little bit sad that nothing more became of ur lil run in with jungwoo

~u print our ur essay and make ur way back to ur dorm, ur heart and eyelids both feeling a bit heavier than when you went to the library, despite having seen sweetheart angel boy again after so long

~the next morning you get breakfast with ur roommate and the head to literature and turn in your essay, trying not to think about jungwoo cause u dont want to fall back into that crush especially since u wont be seeing him again,,,

~u do a pretty good job of circumventing any lingering thoughts of (sweetheart angel boy) jungwoo from the night before

~that is, until 11:48 AM

~when you get a text

from: jungwoo 🐻

good morning!! I'm sorry I wasn't able to talk longer last night. are you busy sometime after 5 today? I'd love to catch up 😊

~u, in the cafeteria, mouth hanging open: Yes

~n then you realize that u probably should send that as a text ,,, so you quickly respond yes!!! i would love to!!! im free at 6

~and u put ur phone down and start eating but like ,, a minute later ur phone vibrates again

from: jungwoo 🐻

Yay!!! 😆 Let's get smoothies again! 🥤see you there at 6!

~u send him a confirmation text and then finish ur lunch while ur heart soars because wOw he actually does want to see you!!! wow!!! and this time u wont be wearing slippers!!!

~and u cant deny that u also get excited about the idea that jungwoo will also not be wearing pajamas or slippers ,,, u always liked jungwoo's style,,

~all day after that all u can think about is jungwoo's soft voice last night when he told you he misses you... it was so forward of him and it makes ur heart skip a beat even just thinking back on it... is he always so forward? you wonder

~around 5:50 you start walking to the smoothie place, feeling nervous but much less silly without ur teddy bear slippers

~jungwoo's exact thought at 5:50 while hes sitting at a table in the smoothie place waiting for u: their teddy bear slippers were so cute 😣

~once u arrive he gets up to greet u and u guys awkwardly say hi and stand in front of each other and then get in line to order smoothies

~u two are a little bit clumsy with your conversation at first, speaking at the same time and then laughing and telling the other to go first

~but eventually, once u two are sitting across from each other at a little table and sipping on ur smoothies, u have a steady conversation about school and sophomore year and your friends and new roommates

~the conversation dies down again after a while and u two sip on ur smoothies and u wonder what u could say to continue talking to jungwoo because you're having such a nice time and ur heart is so happy to hear his soft voice again... u hadnt realized how much u missed it until this evening

~but before you can think of anything to say, jungwoo rests his chin in his palms, his elbows propped up on the table and he looks at you, making eye contact and doing that soft smile of his

~u have to take a second to remember how to breathe

~after a moment of gazing at u he sighs

~"im so happy to see you again, i really have missed you" and he smiles, his cheeks getting a bit pink but otherwise not rlly seeming to be embarrassed or shy by what he said and youre a flustered mess !!!!

~u manage to not stutter when u say "me too, jungwoo" and he giggles at your shy expression that you're trying so hard to hide (hes dying inside because youre so freaking cute !!!)

~after u finish ur smoothies, he walks with you back to campus and as you guys are on your way back, you're stopped by doyoung who comes up to you guys with his mouth open wide and his eyebrows raised

~"jungwoo... i just went to the library to look for you and you weren't there so i went to the cafe and you weren't there either and it didnt even occur to me that you werent actually studying... are you... are you two-"

~jungwoo cuts him off with a little shake of his head and explains that u guys were lab partners and friends last year and were just catching up and hes on his way to the library now

~you're kinda confused by the whole exchange bc from what doyoung said, it seems like jungwoo is pretty much always studying and it's odd for him to have gone out and done something other than study in the evening

~and while that thought makes u feel bad for him, u also feel pleased that he chose to spend time with you instead of studying :'~)

~doyoung leaves after a few minutes of him n jungwoo laughing abt something that their friend taeil did earlier that day

~doyoung and jungwoo hug and hold each other's hands until their fingertips are touching, then let their hands fall to their sides again as they say goodnight to each other and you're watching and smiling fondly cause jungwoo is so loving to his friend and it makes your heart swell

~jungwoo turns to u and smiles sheepishly, letting out a little laugh and apologizing for making you wait on him

~you shake your head and tell him you're happy to have met his friend!!

~and his eyes light up and his face brightens into a beaming smile and he tells you that he's so happy that you met doyoung, too

~he walks you back to your dorm building and u two say goodbye and u start to go up the steps when jungwoo calls for you again

~you turn around to see him at the bottom of the steps, smiling up at u and looking a little bit shy but So Handsome (ur heart? mush)

~u walk back down the steps to see him and you're standing on the step in front of him so you're pretty much the same height now and his face is kinda close to urs and both of u have an entire butterfly garden break dancing to dubstep in ur tummies tbh

~"yes?" you ask him, smiling and trying to hide ur nervousness because of the proximity

~"i just wanted to say that i had a lovely time tonight and i want to see you again soon"

~omg sweetheart angel boy makes your heart do acrobatics with his soft sunrise voice and his pretty dark brown eyes looking into your own and the cute shape of his cheeks as he smiles at you

~"let's get dinner this friday?" he continues, his eyes widening a little bit in a hopeful way, his smile widening too

~and you cant help but smile so big, u have to look down at your feet for a second just to regain any semblance of composure u might have had before

~after a second you look up and nod and hold your pinkie out to him

~"pinkie promise" you tell him, and he smiles Even Wider and links his pinkie with yours and touches his thumb to your own and you two stand there like that for a little bit longer than necessary

~finally u both let go and say goodbye for real this time and u walk up the steps to your dorm but u feel like you're floating cause woW sweetheart angel boy kim jungwoo is going to take you out for dinner in three days... friday is in three days...

~both u and jungwoo spend the entire three days in anticipation and almost middle-school-like-giddness because !!!! this is kind of a date right???? like neither of u said it but it's kind of a date????

~doyoung certainly says so and he's been telling all of his and jungwoo's mutual friends

~doyoung: yukhei, guess what? jungwoo has a cute date this friday

~yukhei, in the library, at a table with jungwoo and doyoung: ooooHOhOhoHHOHOHO jungwoo has a DATE!!! get it!!!!!!!!!

~jungwoo, probably: im leaving

~when thursday night rolls around, you're sitting on your bed, typing something up on your laptop and probably watching youtube tbh and your phone dings :^)

from: jungwoo 🐻

I'm excited to see you tomorrow. I'll meet you at the bottom of your stairs at 7 tomorrow night, is that okay?

~you probably forget to respond for like 15 minutes cause u take a screenshot of the text and send it to ur best friend and yell about how nervous and excited you are and when u finally respond, you tell him you're looking forward to it! and you ask him what you should wear

~a few minutes later, you get a response...

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starknell · 7 years ago

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tagged by @purabruja (thank u !!)

relationship status: m taken

favourite color: neon green or dark red

lipstick or chapstick: lipstick

last song I listened to: uhh skylines & turnstiles by my chem

last movie: sleepy hollow or the lost boys (can't remember)

top 3 TV shows: stranger things, i don't rlly watch much tv

top 3 bands/artists: placebo, sisters of mercy, velvet underground

books I’m currently reading: the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde, our lady of the flowers by whatever his name is, a bio on einstein for school

Occupation: student rip

love to collect: ig cds ?? i don't collect em per se but i buy em a lot n i don't collect anything else lmao

Tag 9 people

uhh just anybody who wants to !

#tagged in

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hemsworths-chris · 8 years ago

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tag games galore

heyo! i’ve been tagged in a shitload of tag games recently, but i haven’t had time for them. well, i’ve got some time on my hands now, so let’s go!

NUMBER ONE: we rowed out across the hudson at dawn - shut up, sandhya

anyways, tagged by the lovely @gabrielledelacour; thanks, love!

5 things you’ll find in my bag (wait what kind of bag is this)

my phone, and its accessories (adapter, earbuds etc)

a book (i dunno how large this bag is but)

lip balm

a pencil (or probably way too much stationary)

um shit i dunno i don’t usually carry handbags and stuff

5 things in my bedroom

books

MORE BOOKS

posters and shit

just school related stuff

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

WRITE A NOVEL

discover something new!

make people proud

literally just have an unproblematic group of friends

find something to be passionate about :)

5 things that make me happy

amazing additions to tumblr posts in the tags

being with my friends

debating

listening to music (atm, preferably hamilton)

writing and reading incredible things!

5 things that I’m currently into

hamilton

harry potter

tumblr

actually studying for the amc 10 (kinda)

playing the viola!

5 things on my to-do list

learn html and/or calligraphy

study for literature

make new friends!

write up this fic i’ve had running through my mind for god knows how long

stay away from toxic people tbh

5 things you may not know about me

i type abnormally quickly

i can raise one eyebrow at a time

i will take algebra over geometry and chem/physics over bio any day of the week

my favorite youtube channels are vlogbrothers and lssc!

i do my a’s like “a”, rather that the more typical one that’s an oval with the line by it

that was fun! next one: tagged by @ginnweasley, @gentleginny, @oblviqte, @pomonasprowt, @ohremvs, and @peterpettiness; thanks!

RULES: you can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to. put your music on shuffle, and list the first 10 songs and tag 10 people.

right off the bat: for the most part, i listen to hamilton these days, but i’ll be shuffling it from my personal playlist.

1. Lock Me Up - The Cab

2. Centuries - Fall Out Boy

3. I’m So Sorry - Imagine Dragons

4. Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood

5. All I Want - Kodaline

6. Absolutely Final Goodbye - Christina Grimmie

7. This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race - Fall Out Boy

8. Politiclash - PAINT (Jon Cozart)

9. Young and Beautiful - Lana Del Rey

10. Riptide - Vance Joy

and also, some song recs! all the ones listed, and the following: literally everything by fall out boy, american money (BØRNS), electric love (also BØRNS), gasoline (halsey), cities (nat and alex wolff), in your pocket (maroon 5), maps (maroon 5), angel in blue jeans (train), boulevard of broken dreams (green day, of course), cake by the ocean (DNCE)

next! tagged by my favorite person in the universe, @bauqelaire - too good for this world, too pure.

1) last song you listened to: shit i don’t remember, probably something from hamilton

2) three shows on your watch list: sherlock, the late show with stephen colbert, maybe supernatural or supergirl or friends or something (i don’t watch much tv)

3) best concert you’ve ever been to: i mean i’ve only ever been to one, a katy perry concert in 5th grade with @hearing-from-my-lawyers and another friend. and while we’re being mainstream, it was pretty lit!

4) last person you hugged: probably my mom

5) favorite flower: orchid!

6) least favorite type of jewelry: anklets, i can’t stand them!

7) favorite band/singer: the cast of hamilton, fall out boy, BØRNS

8) if you could dye your hair any colour what would it be: my hair is black, so probably a shade of blue, or maybe green - any ideas? i probably won’t tho

9) greatest compliment you have ever received: i really don’t recall, sorry

10) if you had to choose 2 of your friends to live on an island with, who would they be: @hearing-from-my-lawyers and either the 1st speaker on my debate team, a certain rock (not dwayne lol), or @leonine13

11) you’re at a candle shop, what scented candle do you buy: prob vanilla cuz i’m basic

my questions: just do these, i don’t have time to think of more and they’re really good questions

here’s a long one! tagged by the amazing @boat-face-mcgee

rules: Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag the person who tagged you… and most importantly, have fun!

a - age: 14

 b - biggest fear: being unimportant, and bees

c - current time: 7:51 pm

 d - drink you last had: water

e - every day starts with: waking up and wishing i could sleep longer

 f - favourite song: wait for it, from hamilton (i think??? there are loads of songs that i love tbh)

 g - ghosts, are they real: in a metaphorical sense, absolutely; in a real sense, i’ve seen no real proof for either side of the argument so i can’t judge

 h - hometown: i’d rather not say, but it’s in Silicon Valley!

 i - in love with: my family and friends :)

j - jealous of: basically everyone tbh, but esp people who seem to succeed at life and school easily; i mean, they put in effort, but it always works out for them!

k - killed someone: my innocence

 l - last time you cried: this morning bc i’m pathetic

 m - middle name: don’t have one

 n - number of siblings: zero

o - one wish: to get into a good high school; alternatively, for lin-manuel miranda to randomly decide to reprise his role of alexander hamilton for the 8 pm performance of hamilton in sfo in late march (i can’t recall the date rip)

p - person you last called/texted: the best friend!

q - questions you’re always asked: are you in *insert some grade 2-3 grades higher than what i actually am*? bc i’m tall

r - reasons to smile: friends! sunshine! pandas! fluffy fanfics!

s - song last sang: idk

 t - time you woke up: around 10:10 am

u - underwear color: ...blue...

w - worst habit: i bite my nails! it’s really bad but i just can’t stop!

 x - x-rays you’ve had: 2, once when i broke my finger and once when i broke my toe

y - your favourite quote: “It is a far, far better thing I do, than I have ever done ; it is a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known.” -Sydney Carton (my problematic fave), A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens (that quote was listed by @boat-face-mcgee, but i love it too! i don’t really have a favorite, though, since are so many i love)

z - zodiac sign (but also myers-briggs) : Sagittarius, ENFP

next one: also tagged by @bauqelaire!

rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better

relationship status: single, thankfully

favorite color: turquoise or navy blue!

lipstick or chapstick: chapstick

last song i listened to: i dunno, sorry

last movie i watched: part of the first indiana jones movie, i think

top 3 tv shows: atla, lssc, basically anything on the food network

top 3 characters: (just three??? what???) sirius black, remus lupin, aaron burr, and since i can’t follow rules, finnick odair, june iparis, and hermione granger

top 3 ships: j i l y, odesta, blackinnon

books i’m currently reading: hamlet for school, and the fbawtft screenplay!

for this next one, i was tagged by @pickettandnewt

1 Song : the room where it happens, from hamilton

2 Movies : fbawtft, and moana!

3 Shows : the late show with stephen colbert, atla, friends

4 People : i’ll just tag 4 of my fave tumblr users: @peppermintparvati, @fjrebolt, @emmelinevvance, @nargles (feat. @lumox!) (oh and also my irl friends: @hearing-from-my-lawyers, @emofandomgirl, @leonine13 and @aweami543)

5 Foods : boba, mozzarella sticks, asian eggplant, malai kofta (i could swim in the stuff tbh), paneer paratha

there are a few more that i’ve been tagged in, but i’ve tried not do anything that i’ve done before.

tagging: @chodear, @nargles, @grriphook, @mxrcusflint, @emmelinevvance, @bauqelaire, @fjrebolt, @snuffls, @hearing-from-my-lawyers, @lumox, @padampatil, @cedricdiggory, @dailyprophet, @jilys, @hogsmecd, @gxnnyweasley, @pctter, @pcnsypcrkinson, @winterblackburned, @jamespottuh, @softprongs, @tragedys, and anyone else who wants to do them! you can do as many or as few as you want; i love you all!

#about me #tag games #personal #hark! the trashcan speaks

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jibunjishin · 7 years ago

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hellO

i haven’t found the spare time in forever to just make a post and catch up with myself and how i’ve BEEN

i don’t think some people understand that idk how im honestly doing until i do something like this because i just go around doing the motions of life and whatever, not really having any time to feel, so i could be doing really bad for all i know but not be able to put a pinpoint on where it’s all coming from until i sit down for a sec. and while i can’t afford the time even now to do this, it’s super important so here i am!!!!

wow im super tired!!! in a physical way, where im fighting jet lag and general insufficient sleep hours. i actually fell asleep for like 2 hours today and then thought i’d take a ‘break’ until i felt ready and i actually haven’t felt ready. the last weeks of march i went into overdrive and SOMEHOW got everything done. one of my five classes is going really poorly, i’m scoring consistently below average and it’s ruining my self confidence, self esteem, just overall belief in myself and my abilities to finish my degree??? lmao. im very fragile ANYWAYS but on the other hand, I got a 91% on a paper for my public health class and a 98.5% on my midterm for another class! (which I’m p/nping! so it DOESN’T MATTER!! HAHAHH yay. *upside down smiley emoji*)

the point is things have been mixed bad and good results, but I’m really letting the bad overtake my whole mood. and i recognize that. acknowledge it. im not sure how to change my attitude about it though. i try to say it in my head that it’s ok and maybe eventually i’ll believe it but it’s ineffective and sometimes makes me feel worse. (also my friend in the class is KICKING BUTT he’s so good the professor gives him over 100% sometimes and im like ??? I can’t even get in the IQR... ya im jealous but happy for him OBVIOUSLY but I kinda feel like my professor has decided I’m a B-/C+ student bc I keep getting kinda the same grade, even though my latest assignment was not bad?? i went to a GSI’s OH and started it early and revised and whatever but got a 1% improvement. IDK THIS IS A LONG RANT/TANGENT I’m also not trying to be salty and be like “this professor sucks he’s not giving me As” because if I don’t deserve it I’m fine with that but ok anyways moving along) the point is, things are an OK average, so why can’t i be fine with that?

it’s partially because of these bad grades, but i’m also losing motivation to do my thesis at all. and like it’s necessary to finish an ES degree. it’s literally my last requirement and I’ve done all the other classes. but I just don’t know if I want to commit a whole year to doing something I don’t want to do. I don’t think it’s that like I’m lazy or trying to get out of it just because? if that makes sense? I don’t think it’s a bad reason. I can’t find anything I want to research. we’re actually doing literal research like not a research paper. we have to write a literal mini-dissertation and shit. i’ve been a content-absorber my whole life and I just think I’m too *simple* to make a discovery. like i’m not sure if i’m GETTING ACROSS THIS CONCEPT. WE HAVE TO SPEND THE SUMMER/FALL/some of spring bc that’s when it’s due DOING LITERAL RESEARCH and this thought gives me anxiety and i’ve cried a bit over it. it’s so daunting. and I’ve tried to talk to my gsi/professor about my fears and they’re like oh it’s fun! it’ll be okay! and i’m like NO you don’t understand?? and they’re like here let’s talk about what u can do and I feel like they’re actually not getting how afraid I am of this. I don’t want to quit my major over this... I took 9 classes for this already, and it’s just one year, two semesters, six units left. but I’m just realizing how I c a n n o t do this thesis. i’m not sure what i’d do? and you can’t bullshit this like a paper. i can’t do it overnight. i have a proposal draft for this due monday and I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW TO EXECUTE THIS IDEA I HAVE BECAUSE IT’S A SHITTY IDEA and wow I honestly don’t know how people do it. I’m going to my prof’s OH again this Friday and I’m really hoping he can HELP or maybe help me find an advisor because if I am doing this, there’s no way in hell I can do it alone. I don’t want it to be a pity-thing where they’re like ‘ok let me do this for u but u can put ur name on it so u can get the hell out of school’ like I actually DO want to do it but i CAN’T and I know that’s toxic, i should be like oh yeah i can do it! think of all the other ES undergrads who’ve done it, who are doing it, who will do it!! one of them is YOU!! but i’m actually so past that stage, i’m facing the reality of this deadline coming up and it’s looking really bad. really bad. i know this post has been a huge ole complaining mess but YOU KNOW WHAT i’m being honest with how i feel, even if i’m not proud of it.

i thought i got over my anxiety!! LMAO!! im sweating and the whole shebang just from writing this and thinking about my thesis. aasasoifnva. honestly i think the worst that can happen is I get a TERRIBLE grade in this class. I don’t think I can fail??? but I was okay with getting bad grades in the chem/physics classes but this one?? it’s a major req. like literally a class for JUST ES majors in spring semester of their junior year. i’m pretty sure i’m one of the lowest grades in the class based on the number of times my groups have been getting the low L O L and it’s very sad to see that i’m the one of the worst in my cohort. but anyways it’s just super disheartening like I said earlier.

so right now i’m in between feeling like it’s a waste to stop pursuing ES and it’s just another year, 6 units(, A WHOLE THESIS) to complete the degree. on the other hand, i don’t need this degree if I want to teach ES in high school, since I’m one class and a seminar away from finishing my other major. and I will get my credential at the end of my 5 years. so I don’t NEED it because teaching ES just requires a single subject credential and a bio CSET?? I don’t need it, so why put myself through the struggle and anxiety and dread and frustration and all those other wonderful feelings of self-loathing and depression? so i’m not sure what to do. I really am not.

thanks if you even read this far to my literal 3 followers. lmao. these really help me and thanks to myself for taking the time to write it, but I should get back to reality. i’m not sure what my plans are for the rest of tonight. i can try to keep pushing through with the thesis, move on to my research paper for my geography class, or cut my losses and go to bed or read or go back on youtube. i am sure that i am tired as fuck and ready to be done. actually done.

edit: I guess the real question is: what do I do now actually? I have major advising meetings with both my advisors this friday, plus office hours with my professor. do i melt down and be like PLEASE HELP ME because I see no other way other than quitting? at this point I think that’s what it is. get help or quit. I think it’s okay to be okay with knowing I can’t do it on my own two feet. but i know if i ask for help i’ll CRY and it’ll be sad and pathetic kinda but idk IDK I JUST DON’T KNOW

#musing

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