#AND SO MUCH MORE I'VE EVEN LOST TRACK OF MY MANY HEARTBREAKS

[that-girl-glader]

I just don't understand how Netflix works. Why cancel shit just because it's not EVERYONE'S cup of tea or doesn't have as much views?? . Imagine if everything went by that rule. "Oh, not everyone likes the book 'the maze runner lemme just cancel the series before it gets to finish" "Oh lemme cancel this very well written webtoon 'Castle Swimmers' it isn't as big as lore Olympus or some shit like that" "oh lemme cancel Mxmtoon she's good and so is her music but she ain't Conan Gray level famous" LIKE COME ON. PEOPLE LIKE THOSE THINGS. PEOPLE ENJOY THEM. OF COURSE IF YOU CANCEL SOMETHING BEFORE IT EVEN BEGINS NOONE WILL LIKE IT AND COME AND ENJOY IT. AND DIFFERENT PEOLE LIKE DIFFERENT SHOWS. FUCK YOU NETFLIX. FUCK. YOU. YOU ABSOLUTELY IMPATIENT STIMULA HUNTING REPRESENTATION HATING BITCH. ONE SEASON ISN'T ENOUGH TO TELL A STORY. GIVE ME BACK MY SHOWS.

[hypermoyashi]

Alright! Chapters 25-30 of my Trimax reread! Been a little slow since I've been doing family stuff and writing, but! Man these chapters are so good.

I think one thing I missed from the previous chapters/my previous post was the conversation between Knives and Legato regarding Wolfwood. It's so rare to see Knives praise anyone, but he very specifically comments that Wolfwood is doing a good job with his guard/babysitting duty. It's so interesting how pissed Legato got at Wolfwood, only for that to dissipate into disappointment and shock that Knives went over his head and ordered Wolfwood to do something different from what he'd said. And it makes sense it was Wolfwood--he was someone that Vash had already met, and then it makes sense why Wolfwood was the one to track him down.

Alright, back to the current chapters! Meryl is still stuck and didn't get to do much, but Milly gets to quietly shine instead. I forgot that Wolfwood is operating through this fight temporarily blind, and Milly is covering for him (and Midvalley also comments that Wolfwood shields her, too). They're working together! It's so sweet!

And then. Man. Gauntlet's story is just sad. He lost the one person he cared about, and it seems like Gauntlet and Midvalley have decided to go off-script and try to genuinely kill Vash--Gauntlet for revenge and Midvalley, presumably, because he knows both Vash and Knives are dangerous. Midvalley even seems regretful in a moment when he thinks about Gauntlet only having so many attacks left in him. I wonder if they were friends, or at least fond of each other ;~;

More thoughts under the cut! (Mind the warnings!)

Also RIP Zazie, I know I will be seeing you again, at least lol.

And then. We have Vash remembering July. Right now, it only seems like Gauntlet is seeing Vash's memories, and man... Both of them having to relive that grief all at once, both devastated at July's loss... Man. It's genuinely heartbreaking to see all the people Vash lived with, that he loved, that he was even pulled into a kid's "gang" and helped in the kitchens of the local diner, only to see all those very same people lost in an instant... Really puts in perspective what a tradegy July was, one Vash will likely continue to blame himself for.

And. We also got a new Vash and Knives scene, so. You know the drill by now, and if you don't share my interpretations, that's fine! Please just be respectful of mine!

Warnings for explicit discussions of abusive relationships.

So this encounter covers Vash finding Knives, Knives knocking Vash out so Dr. Conrad could examine him, and then finally the confrontation between Vash and Knives that lead to July's destruction. Knives isn't necessarily doing anything we haven't seen before, but I'll break them down anyway (with the caveat I'm not an expert, these are just personal observations):

Violating Vash's bodily autonomy: Knives didn't really try to talk to Vash at all--the second Vash pointed a gun at him, he knocked him out and then had Dr. Conrad hook Vash's unconscious body up to a bunch of machines. And it's not even for anything medical--they're studying their powers. So entirely unnecessary, and entirely without Vash's permission. Knives didn't even ask. He just did it. And then we have an even bigger instance of this when Knives forces Vash's angel arm to go berserk--presumably, this is something he did while Vash was unconscious, given he starts loosing control as soon as we get to the next scene shown (though there could've been time in between). He tells Vash just to resonate with him to get under control, and Vash never agrees to it--he tells Knives to stop, points his gun at him, desperately holds onto consciousness so Knives can't do what he wants with him--Knives ignores all this and grabs his face, resonating with him anyway.

(Mildly cheering Vash on in this scene--even after he's shown to be no longer fully conscious and Knives is hijacking his body/powers, Vash still ultimately points the weapon at Knives. He never rolls over to just let Knives do as he pleases. He tries his best to stop and/or curb what he's going to do.)

Attempts to isolate Vash from everyone who is not Knives: Yeah this is bog standard for Knives by now. He asks Vash is he hates humans, and interestingly enough, Vash doesn't immediately say no. Knives points out all of Vash's scars, the people he's lost to death and betrayal, and basically just does his best to turn Vash against humanity (a.k.a., everyone who isn't Knives). He also explicitly states that he hates Rem, for instilling a love for humanity within Vash.

Belittling/Infantilizing Vash: This one isn't as bad this chapter, but Knives still refuses to hear Vash out/doesn't let him talk/doesn't try to see things from Vash's perspective. He specifically says that Vash needs to face reality, as if he hasn't been living among humans for a hundred years by this point in the story. Vash is in too much pain/distress to really get a word in edgewise, but Knives certainly gets to say his piece on why he thinks Vash needs to just let go of everything he cares for and just listen to Knives.

And those are the main ones from this chapter--the scenes were relatively short but no less important!

I also found it interesting, during the scene with Dr. Conrad, he comments that Vash has too much power--implying he's dangerous. Knives them asks him what he's going to do about it, if he's going to get rid of them. This is certainly interesting foreshadowing for what is to come!

[apureniallsource]

Niall Horan is ready to put on a Show.

The former One Direction member and current Voice coach's third studio album, The Show, was born in lockdown following the release of its predecessor, Heartbreak Weather, in March 2020. After getting the chance to "sit still for the first time in probably 10 years," Horan wrote the title track, which he says "kickstarted" the rest of the record.

"The chorus is basically saying we should be grateful for what we have," Horan tells EW. "I think during the pandemic, we lost a little bit of that control we like to have as humans — then that just provoked so many bigger thoughts in my head. It opened a stream of ideas."

None of which, fans might be surprised to learn, entail emotional agony. "There's no heartbreak on this one," Horan says. "If you're coming for a heartbreak love song, I don't think you'll get it here." This, he explains, is the major difference between his latest, "more mature" outing and his previous work.

EW caught up with Horan to find out what else we can expect from The Show and his upcoming tour.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: I read that track 6, "You Should Start a Cult," was inspired by you and your girlfriend watching true-crime shows. Was there a specific show that gave you the idea?

NIALL HORAN: That's all we watch — true crime — so I couldn't even tell you what the show was, but I just thought that would be a great title for a love song, and to flip it on its head. I just got to writing a love song that sounded so extravagant, and the lyrics were gonna be huge. It's quite a small song, but some of the statements are quite large. And I love the irony of having a title like that — it sounding very angry, but it's not. It's a love song, at the end of the day.

What makes The Show different from your previous albums, Flicker and Heartbreak Weather?

It's probably the progression over the last seven years — you know, from my first album through to the second one. I think they were all good albums for where I was at that time in my life, and I think this is perfect for [where I am now]. I would say this is probably the more mature-sounding album. There's no heartbreak on this one, which allows you to write different types of songs. That's probably the biggest difference.

Do you find it more fun to write love songs versus heartbreak songs? Or did you miss writing heartbreak songs on this album?

I think they're two completely different concepts. Writing is all about where you're at and "saying what you see," to use a cliché. It's very easy to write a heartbreak song when you're heartbroken, and easy to write a love song when you're in love.

Do you have a favorite song on the album?

I struggle with this. I made it a 10-track album on purpose — to make sure that, hopefully, when people get to 10 they want to go back to the top and listen to the first one again. You know, instead of having a 16-track album and hoping that it's nearly finished. I've got a few favorites. They've all got a different vibe and a different concept and a different musical element that makes 'em good. If I was to pick one now, I'd probably say "You Could Start a Cult." That or "The Show." Probably "The Show," actually.

Are there songs that didn't make the album that might see the light of day on something in the future?

I definitely had some tough decisions to make. I wanted to love every song. I don't know. I'll start writing again at some point, and if I can outdo what I have left over, then fair enough. There are a couple lying around that could be made into something, but as of now they're not going anywhere but my emails or my drafts.

It's been so long since you've been able to tour. What are you most looking forward to?

Just seeing the fans. I spent so much of my career seeing them every night. I'm ready to get back out and play the album I never got to play live, and play this new one, and just create a show — a really good one. I'm already trying to put plans together for how the set would look. I'm just excited to feel that buzz again. It's strange for me that I haven't been on a proper stage in, like, nearly five years. When you think about it like that, it's like, "Oh God, I need to get back on the road."

You mentioned you'll be playing some of Heartbreak Weather on the tour as well. Any chance you might bring some guests on stage?

Oh, yes, for sure. Any city I go to, if I'm friends with an artist from that city and they happen to be there, I'll always see if I can get them to come up and sing one of theirs or one of mine with me. I think about shows like in L.A., with my collaboration with Julia [Michaels]. It could make for a really good gig. Don't want to say too much, 'cause Julia might say no. So that could change, but that would be my ideal: maybe someone I know from Chicago, or someone I know from San Fran, or whatever...

Who would be your No. 1 pick to perform with?

Springsteen would be pretty sick. Imagine being up in Asbury Park and playing with Bruce Springsteen. I performed with Taylor [Swift] before at Wembley Stadium, and that was magic. Obviously, I would love to do it again. She's a busy lady at the moment.

I mean, she's been bringing people out on her Eras Tour, so you never know.

She knows where I am.

The Show is out June 9.

[soapsdish]

tag gamerules: favorite: movie, hobby, animal, character, color, place, season, album, food

movie: attack the block - 2011 had some banger movies and this was one of them. it's got everything one could hope for: great actors, superb acting, action, quirky weirdness, kickass aliens, and john boyega's movie debut! I could rewatch this right alongside the abyss ('84), the thing ('82) and battle los angeles (2011).

hobby: gaming! I'm a hardcore gamer that likes just about every genre on the market but I'm particularly in love with horror/zombies (multiplayer so I can play with friends), action-adventure, and looter shooters.

animal: cats! I love pretty much all animals but these little land sharks hold a special place in my heart and my life. I've got two right now but I want more. My husband has to reign me in...even though he's just as bad. What can I say? we're cat parents.

character: g.i. joe was one of my favorite cartoons growing up and thus my love for military men and women bloomed. at first I had all the love for shipwreck and lady j but then this man appeared: sgt. ronald tadur aka Dusty (Rudat). he's a desert survival expert/specialist who is so damn good and loyal and wonderful that I still simp for him decades later. he will always be in my heart.

color: usually i'd just say black but, well, midnight blue is simply gorgeous and I've got an accent wall in my bedroom with gold leaves dotting it. it's such a pretty color.

place: the woods! I cannot live without trees surrounding me. I basically forced my husband (then bf) to move up with me because I refused to live in a city of any kind. before I really lost the ability to walk unaided I used to trek through the woods behind my grandparents house on the mountain and through the woods behind the little places I grew up in. (we moved a lot when I was younger). I still like taking a trail or two in a state park but I so freakin' miss being able to just get lost in the thick of'em and spend hours just exploring.

season: fall! i love watching the leaves and brush change, the pumpkins and gords starting to adorn street corners and window displays, pumpkin spice EVERYTHING, the cooler temperatures (sweater weather!!), and the coming of Halloween!

album: needtobreath's hard love - this album saw me through a rough patch and kept my heart filled with a soft kind of wonder. all the tracks are excellent but I've got such a hardon for HAPPINESS and the signature song hard love. honestly, i pretty much have a love affair with all their albums. Bonus: HAPPINESS, Bottom of a Heartbreak, I am Yours, and West Texas Wind are 100% blorbo songs.

food: stromboli!! omg I could eat this deliciousness every single day and not tire (not with how many combinations you can make). it's so good ;A;

Thanks so much for the tag: @gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot

tags (if you'd like): @caroll-in @ex-umbra @tacticalanxiety @starlight-shades @deadbranch @losersimonriley (honestly I'd tag every single follower and mutual I have because I love learning things about people!)

[fairy-writes]

For the 800 Follower Event - My second request

I have been in love with the song 'My Heart is Buried in Venice by Ricky Montgomery' and a lot of other pieces by him as well. The amount of times I've cried over this specific song is....a lot.

Specifically the lyrics below hitting way close to home when I was in a relationship. Feeling like you were the only one who loved the other can be even more heartbreaking than the break-up. (this was years ago)

"Say, say what you mean Tell me the truth or tell me you're through Oh, oh, oh, don't leave me to breathe Don't leave me to bleed For someone who chose to leave me be"

I know that I am asking for something rather...odd. But instead of it going the Viktor x Reader break-up route. Could it somehow be end happy?

Like if Viktor is on the outskirts of this debacle? Or the comforting friend-to-lover troupe?

I hope this wasn't super annoying >///<

Thank you

MY HEART IS BURIED IN VENICE

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Fandom(s): Arcane: League of Legends (2021)

Pairing(s): Viktor x Gender Neutral!Reader

Song: My Heart is Buried in Venice by Ricky Montgomery

Notes: I seriously struggled with this one. I hope it actually makes sense. I’m running on four hours of sleep after an eight-and-a-half-hour workday. 

This takes place after the Hexcore kills Sky.

__________________________________________________________________________

Viktor lay awake late into the night. He glanced over at the clock on your side of the bed. It ticked away on the bedside table, illuminated by the moonlight. 

2:13 AM. 

You were halfway onto his side of the bed, one arm tossed over his chest and head almost on his pillow. You were always like this at night, migrating from your side over to his in an attempt to preserve body warmth. No matter how many blankets you had on your side, you always told him he was warmer than any blanket you could own. 

It was something that generally made him smile. 

But not tonight.

Come rest your bones next to me

And toss all your thoughts to the sea

I'll pull up each of our anchors

So we can get lost, you and me

Eventually, Viktor couldn’t take it anymore and got out of bed. He slid the pillow that usually propped up his leg under your arm so you could still sleep with something. And he couldn’t help but smile as you held it close.

It was one of the many things he loved about you. 

My heart is buried in Venice.

Hidden beneath all my worries and doubts

My heart is buried in Venice

Waiting for someone to take it home

Viktor made it to his study down the hall without too much noise and turned on the lamp, illuminating the room in a soft yellow glow. He took a seat at the desk and pulled out a page from a journal set aside. 

It was the leather-bound journal you gave him for his birthday. Part of him felt terrible ripping out a page, but you always told him to use it for whatever he wanted. 

And he had to get this out of his system before he lost his mind. 

Even when you try to hide it

A smile creeps out from your teeth

I never thought that I would have to say I'm sorry

For anyone but me

The first try goes terribly. Viktor barely gets out a sentence before he crumples up the page and throws it into the wastebasket next to the desk. 

The second try doesn’t go much better. 

It’s by the fourth or fifth letter (he’s lost track) that he realizes he’s crying. Tears drip down his cheeks and stain the page, smudging the ink. And when he tries to wipe away the moisture, he just succeeds in getting ink on his fingers. 

Now my heart is buried in Venice

Waiting for someone to take it home

Why is this so hard? It’s just words on a page. Words he’s been stewing on for over a week. A week of agonizing about what he’ll say when he actually sits down to write this damn letter. 

He hears a noise down the hall but pays it no mind. He can check in a minute as soon as he starts this letter with the right words. 

Say, say what you mean.

Tell me the truth, or tell me you're through

Oh, oh, oh

Don't leave me to breathe

Don't leave me to bleed

For someone who chose to leave me be

“What are you doing up so late?” Came your tired voice. He turned and saw you standing in the doorway to his study, blanket around your shoulders. He sat back in his chair,

“I was writing a letter.” He said, tapping his ink-stained fingertips against the wood of the desk. You approached and pressed a kiss to his forehead, smoothing his hair out of the way with the hand that wasn’t holding your blanket around your body. 

“A letter to whom?” You asked, and he looked back at his tear-stained page. 

“To Sky.” He said, and your eyes widened marginally before they filled with such love he almost began crying again.

You lean down and kiss him,

“You know it’s not your fault, right?” You whisper, and he nods. He can’t find the words to say. He doesn’t know what he can say that he hasn’t already told you. So instead, he turns back to his letter, mind clear at last. He takes up his pen and begins to write.

My heart is buried in Venice.

Waiting for someone to take it home

Dear Sky,

I know I cannot apologize enough for what happened. I should’ve listened to someone, anyone, about the Hexcore and destroyed it before it caused damage. But I didn’t, and you had to face the consequences. 

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew about your feelings for me. I just didn’t want to face them. And that was cruel to you. And for that, I apologize. 

I had buried my heart because I didn’t want to get hurt. But in reality, I think I was just waiting for someone to take it home.

I just want to let you know that I’m happy. The Hexcore is gone, I have a partner who loves me, and I only hope to be someone you would be proud of. 

I hope you are at rest,

Viktor

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Did you catch the darklina theme playing when The darkling remembers his first kiss with Alina then Alina kills him? If you haven't it's this motif that plays which has some very somber slow violin that sounds tragically romantic. In Fact as weird as this sounds the violins almost sound inverted,if that even makes any sense. I first heard it at the fountain scene in season 1 specifically when Aleks said "you and I are going to change the world Alina" and you can hear it in the background. Then you can hear it more erupt when they start kissing on the desk in ep 5. Before the 2nd season aired I listened to the OST and I was obsessed with the track titled 'Let me be your Monster'. At around 1:53 you can hear the same theme being played and I immediately told myself that it was a scene of them probably kissing because it's literally their theme but then it abruptly pauses with one violin string being played for almost 20secs. It then builds up and carries on the theme then with an added trombone or something in the background then it's gets lower and lower until it ends with a sad violin ravka theme being played. I then thought it was probably the darkling dying. I came to a realisation that it could be Alina pulling a Jon snow on him. Imagine my surprise when it turns out I was right both times 😭 Anyway you probably already knew about the music but I wanted to share some thoughts on it and my personal experience trying to guess what was happening in this scene 😂 I'm kind of new to the grishaverse and I finished season one 3 weeks before the new season dropped so I was kind of obsessing. I wanted to know what you think of their theme? It gives me a James bond feel and I love it. Sounds almost like a 'What could have been' theme. It also feels very Romeo and Juliet-esque if that makes sense.

(P.S.) I also realised there is a motif that's played when Alina uses the shadow cut in the finale of S2 that is the same as when the darkling uses the shadow cut for the first time in S1 ep2 in the show. The track is called 'Rise and fall" on the S2 OST and it starts around 2:20 and it ends around 3:10(just some more parallels I've noticed with the darkling and Alina from season 1 to season 2).

Ok I love everything you said here. I also love the darklina theme so much, after season aired I played it pretty much non stop. Fun fact the original theme that was played in season 1 is titled 'Hope For The Future'. I also thought this was a very fitting title as this was very much what Alina represented to Aleks, but also it was what Alina saw in Aleks, she too at a time believed that they could bring hope to ravka together. Another fun fact is that there are actually two versions of this theme, on that was officially released and another unreleased version. The officially released one is the one that plays during the fountain scene and their first kiss and the unreleased on plays when they kiss on the desk in 1x05.

The officially released one, Hope For The Future, is much softer than the unreleased one. What I love about the Hope For The Future theme is that it starts out almost tentative, its slow and there are pauses. But then as the piece goes on the pace picks up and the chords are stronger and the music begins to swell so that it sounds uplifting. What I love about it is it mirrors Alina's character arc, when she first meets Aleks and comes to the LP she is very unsure of herself and her powers and still very much sees herself as the stick from Keramzin, but then he shows her who she truly is, shows her that she is grisha and powerful. So by the time you get to the point where they are sharing their first kiss in 1x05 she is a much more confident person who has more faith in herself and the music matches that.

It's a similar idea with Aleks, at first I think he was very tentative about his feelings for her, he has lost many a lover and so I don't think he wanted to open his heart up to more heartbreak despite feeling the connection between. Before Alina I think he was a very isolated and lonely man. But again by that first kiss he is letting her in more and is once again letting hope into his heart and believing for the first time in hundreds of years that he may find peace and that they may be able to save the grisha.

When it comes to the unreleased version that plays during their desk kiss it is a bit different. Whilst it carries the same tune or melody it sounds to me alot more passionate if that makes sense. The music swells much quicker and to me there also almost seems to be an ache or desperation behind those swells. There is a brief moment in the middle of the song where it slows and quietens, its the moment when Aleks asks if she is sure, then the music swells again as they kiss once more. For me this piece followed their passion in the scene and it also really captures that longing and ache they feel for each other. But also there is something euphoric about the piece.

When it comes to 'Let Me Be You Monster' what is interesting is the part that is the darklina theme, I am pretty sure is actually the unreleased version and not the Hope For The Future one from their first kiss. So they've taken footage of their first kiss but played the theme from their desk kiss over it.

Like you I listened to the soundtrack before season 2's release and become obsessed with this particular piece. I also upon realising it was the darklina theme thought it might be a kiss scene, I predicted that it would be the chapel scene form book 2 as the beginning part of the song sounds very menacing and dangerous and then it shifts into the darklina theme. So I thought the beginning part was going to be Alina and co running from the nichevo'ya and then the darklina theme the moment when she kisses him and uses his powers against him. But then I heard the part at the very end where it sounds very similar to the noise they use for the fold, like this pained cry, it played in the background during the fountain scene in 1x04 when Alina was telling the story about the black heretic and the creation of the fold. To me though the way these notes were drifting off in the song made me think of a dying cry. That's when I started wondering if it was actually Aleks' death scene. We know now that the menacing start to the song was the nichevo'ya attacking Alina and her realising, from the way Aleks lunged out as if to catch it and pull it back, that he didn't have control over them.

Something else that is interesting is that on the season 2 soundtrack there is another track called Hope For The Future, it plays over Aleks' funeral and you can here that first kiss theme in it but it is much slower, like they've dragged each note out which really made me think about how long a life Aleks had, like each stretched out note is symbolic of the hundreds of long lifetimes Aleks has endured. The track is also very sombre and sad, there are no uplifting swells really and it is much more muted, it very much sounded like a lament.

Good catch on the motif playing when Alina uses the shadow cut being the same as when the darkling does, I did not catch that myself.

[bangtthedoldrums]

We Told You This Was Melodrama

so Melodrama is 6. what a timeless album it has been. i find myself come back to Melodrama regardless of what was going on in my life the last 6 years. as it should be.

and listening to Melodrama almost exclusively after my first heartbreak. for 3 whole months. i lived and breathed Melodrama so much that it had to be one of the first few tattoos on me.

(if i accidentally passed in a natural disaster in another country, at least they have the Melodrama tattoo to identify me)

the Melodrama era was so fucking magical. the tour. the songs. the lights. the concert confetti. the outfits. the interviews. the social media engagement. the music videos. the photoshoot. god the fucking pictures and fucking photoshoots. (LOL the one where lorde's above water and looking directly into the camera - currently my icon on outlook. STILL. i changed it back in 2017 probably. and it was my main tumblr's avatar for a while. and glamourtraumamelodrama was my main tumblr's url for a while)

and to Melodrama i danced and i sang and i yelled and i cried and i bawled and i choked and i froze and i felt like i was on top of the world and i grieved and i accepted things and i ran and i sat alone and smoked so many cigarettes to it on so many nights and i drove down so many streets and highways and i sang on top of my lungs when i was in love and i loved it enough to get a tattoo of.

at various points of my life the last 6 years, i've never shut up about Melodrama and it was the one thing people knew about me. as it should be. Melodrama deserves all the hype it deserves.

a masterpiece isn't even good enough to describe Melodrama. neither is a cultural phenomenon. it's obviously more than that. and of course it means different things for every one. and for me - it's a tribute to my late adolescence, a sense-making navigation guide of my early/mid/late 20s, and everything in between. i was in love. i was in many foreign places. i got my heart broken (again and again). i made friends. i lost friends. i was in so many depressive episodes. amidst everything that changes so quickly, Melodrama was, and still is, the one companion that feels like home. i guess when you get your heart broken again and again, at least you feel less alone when you have a companion while you put yourself back together. again and again. you're not a liability. whoever makes you feel so is welcome to fuck off and die. as they should be.

Melodrama is still as magical as the first time i listened to it. regardless of whether i'm leaving it in the background, or really listened to it. well, listening to Melodrama at an older age feels more magical because i've got more life experiences to project and feel. but you get what i mean. i'm not skilled enough with my words and thought processes to talk about the production and the words. it just feels so... well-thought.

there will never be another album like Melodrama, and i'm okay with that. it is experimental enough yet there is some form of consistency that ties every track together. you could play the album on loop, listen to it from start to end, and let it start again. it still flows. both the grandeur and stripped-down production has its place, and lets you feel what you need to feel.

close your eyes and feel everything. it's a trip you take down your brain and at the end of the lane there is catharsis.

what a time to be alive at the same time Melodrama exists. (thank you Lorde) it makes all the other sufferings a little more bearable. and i guess that's enough for me for now. i might change my mind but whatfuckingever. i change my mind all the time anyway.

what a fucking time to be alive. to have an album of my generation that i could call my own in my 20s. that would be talked about for decades to come. an icon that i have to hold on to as i get older (assuming i live till then.)

all i wish for is that i could take some molly and listen to Melodrama while i'm on it. like Lorde did when she made this album. as it should be.

one can dream

i guess. through it all. in life there's only 3 things that matter:

the glamour

the trauma

the melodrama

Melodrama Forever xx

[sdnimer]

Journal Log #01

I have been making my own private journal, but I also would like to share a little bit from it over here. I felt like, if somebody ever found this, this is the part of me that I want them to read.

AND, I can't believe this journal log has been self-harm for years! I'm happy to say I've grown out of it. So here's some refreshment on how I've been writing my private journal logs. (hence the new number) I might share more if I ever felt like I want them to read too.

1:01 AM - Monday, December 11th 2023

It has been a rollercoaster ride of information, huh? Things are moving so fast that you didn’t had enough time to process and this cause a little delay in your business.

Let’s rewind and unwind. We can’t sleep anyhow since we keep thinking about it and although writing about it out on our previous journal is so worth it, I can’t find it. So, typing on our old method again.

I liked her so much. I cared for her too much that I slowly lost track of myself a little bit. I wanted to impress her with my card skills and my only way of saying “I love you” or “I wanna keep in touch with you” is through card, and I couldn’t express them outside of my craft. This is a new territory because the new environment was because they reciprocate our feelings back, and even though in my heart that we aren’t together officially or even mentioned on the same page, I knew there will be a moment that she will find somebody else that fits better for her relationship needs.

People meet new people all the time, especially in an industry that are build through communities. You have to stand out and be in the crowd. So, it’s really not your fault that you couldn’t make it into fruition or towards what you think it should be. You did your best in telling them how you felt, because that is the most genuine thing that comes from you.

Deja vu isn’t it? With "Z" and now "S". The only problem is that they are everywhere and it is a small world. You’ve made promise that even if this doesn’t work out, way before you pursuit her, you will still support her in the smallest way you possible could in your own capacity. Let’s be honest here, you wanted to impress her on what you can do as a person. Yes and she’s totally out of your league.

Looking back, maybe you push your luck too much or you were too late. There're gaps in-between and you were too afraid to pursue since you haven’t gotten that point for yourself. Honestly, this was our very first love that we thought we could work it out. Giving her space to grow and guess she found somebody. We are gonna feel sad and we are gonna celebrate for her.

Whether it’s an actual thing that we heard, or we’ve heard it wrongly, maybe "O" was right. The closure is to not have any of it. You still have to move on. You got better things to worried about then a girl who doesn’t share their days with you, even after you’ve mentioned your interest. They say that your vibe attracts your tribe. And that Bug Hunter said, “So many lives to still impact, some still have yet to cross path.” so maybe with us stepping into our business-hood, we’ll find someone who appreciate us and our crafts. Our personalities, our intentions, and our care. Which we have, platonic-ally, and isn’t that better?

To Sop, I don’t know if I heard was what I think it was, but I had wish you would just be honest and tell me about it. Tell me gently and lead me into it. It is totally understandable that I would be crying about it, it’s a heartbreak after all. All heartbreak will go through sadness and tears. With open-minded conversation, it wouldn’t even be tears, just relief. Right now, I have no idea what I heard was right or not. And if so, you don’t have to hide, you can just tell me. I would rather have it confrontational by you then anyone else.

Anyhow, I’ve said my piece in my recent card to you, and I don’t need to repeat it ever again. I don’t need to be try hard making you liking me or getting your attention. And "J" can finally stop pestering me about rizzing you up.

Tough industry, huh? You want the best but balance is needed, silence is needed, proper structure is needed, but it is what it is. It’s a corporate industry world. You have to let it go and let them settle it themselves. Be there when they needed you. You’re a listener, only a doer when it is within your spectrum.

Although this anger can’t be translated anywhere else, we suffered a stiff migraine that was ultimately result in our 4th attack this year, I think it’s a sign to let go of the industry as a whole. Go back to where it made us feel having fun wasn’t a chore and being alive forgetting the horrors of reality for a moment. Like what we’ve said, fun and alive is what I want to be remembered.

Let’s also disclaimed that why we’re having so much anger was because of how we were in a company with their 5 core values. We are passionate in what we do, we have integrity, we hate stagnancy, we do something about it, and we give value to each other. What was missing in these cases was integrity. That’s why we’re so angry and adamant to call out since that was what we’ve been practicing for almost 3 years, and that’s what kept us strong for 6 years.

Without saying it out loud, it’s like we’re fighting against our morale integrity. At the same time, everyone deserves a second chance, and I would like to believe that he is genuinely sorry and would make amends. The only way I could forgive someone when it comes to integrity is that they’ve genuinely show results. Wow, a company really taught us about performances in another level, huh?

You can take myself out of the company, but you can’t take the values of the company from me.

[demonsandmischief]

Our Moment Pt 2

Marvel - A Captain America Fairytale AU

King! Steve Rogers x Female Reader

Here's Part 1

1.2K Words

Here's my Masterlist.

Our Moment Pt 2

the beginning of the end - angst alert

---

The scent of books hit your nose and you grinned at the familiar comfort.

"I take it you like this room," Steve smiled down at you.

His smile was contagious, and you gave an eager nod. "I've never seen so many. The bookstore in town only has a small collection that I have already read through three times."

"You are welcome to borrow whatever you'd like. This shelf here are my personal favorites. "

"Really?" you asked shocked, a smile finding its way onto your lips. It was almost always there when Steve was around. "I've read most of these."

"You have incredible taste."

You and the king had been spending a lot of time together for the last few weeks. You were undeniable close, and that terrified you, even still, you absolutely adored Steve.

You pulled gently on a book that caught your eye, tracing your finger over the cover.

"Will you be coming to the ball in a few days?" He stepped closer. You could feel the heat of him on your back and you bit back a blush.

"I don't-"

"I would like you to be there."

You turned around so you were facing him, and meeting his solemn blue eyes.

"You would?" your voice is a gentle whisper, and Steve's features soften as his lips curl up once more. His thumb grazes your cheek hesitantly.

"They're not much fun," he admits, keeping his voice as quiet as yours. "but they would be tolerable with you there."

"I'll think about it," you said.

He nodded, stepping back. "I'll wait for you under the gazebo in the courtyard just before midnight. I wish I could meet you earlier, but-"

"It's okay, I understand," you reassured. He took your hand in his and you bit your lip to hide the giddy smile.

---

"Mother, if I finish my chores may I please go to the ball with you?" you asked as you cleared the dinner dishes.

The lanky woman with dark eyes and a polished face flashed you an assuming look. "Why would you ever want to go there? You know it's not a place for your kind."

"I understand," you whispered, even though everything in you recoiled at her harshness. "But I have never been to one and I would just like to see what it's like. That's all."

You swore she could see right through your sort-of lie. She sipped her tea. "I'll think about it. Continue along." She dismissed you.

You didn't expect her to give in so easily and it left an uneasy feeling in your gut.

The day of the ball, you were serving your step-mother and step-sister breakfast.

"You can go, but you must find your own dress and your own ride. You must get everything on this list done first."

You step-sister huffed, but you couldn't be more excited. You did your best to school your features as you took the folded piece of paper from her fingers.

"Thank you," you said, only to find out there was double the amount of chores as usual. There was no way you were going to finish before midnight. You didn't even have a dress.

Yet, you still did your best to remain optimistic and got started right away.

It was nearly ten at night when you finished, and an idea struck you about a dress. You yanked an old, dusty trunk from under your bed. It was the only box of things you had of your mother's.

You had kept her favorite dress tucked and wrapped protectively away. It wasn't nearly as fancy as some of the newer ball gowns, but it was perfect to you.

The soft baby blue bodice hung to your body before splaying out into a silky skirt. It felt like a dream, and luckily hid your tattered shoes.

You saddled up Peaches, and sped down the trail.

The large luminous clocktower in the distance was your only sense of time. The minute hand seemed to be moving faster then you could keep up with as you caught glimmers of it through the trees.

The loud croaks of midnight came just after you landed in the courtyard. You could hear the noise from the ballroom above, but the garden felt miles away as you focused in on the tall man with his back turned to you. He appeared lost in thought.

"Hello," you greeted gently, hoping he heard you approach. His body language unnerved you. "I know I am late-"

"I knew it was too good to be true. It was a set up all along," he said, his back still facing you.

"What are you talking about?" you asked, feeling your heart pick up speed.

He finally turned to face you, his blue eyes steely and unreadable. They gleamed from the glow of the party. "You don't have to keep up the charade. I know."

"You know what, Steve?"

"Don't call me that," his voice remained even, but you felt the bite to it as you took a trembling step back. "Your mother told me of your plan." He ran a hand through his hair, an aggravated sigh escaping his lips.

---

The presumptuous looking lady blocked Steve's sight of the door he was watching. He couldn't wait to see you tonight. He hoped you would show.

"Your highness," she greeted with an exaggerated curtsey. "I have something you would like to know."

"Alright," he answered, dismissing the men he was half listening to and shifting his full focus to her. "Please continue."

"My daughter had been sneaking out, and as a worried mother, I had to check in on her. She's never opened up to me, so I went to her diary. As it turns out, y/n has been meeting up with you."

He straightened. "You're her mother?" You didn't seem to have anything in common with this woman, certainly not looks. You were beautiful and natural and-. He shook his head.

She gave a fake charming laugh, "Don't act so surprised, My King." She dropped her smile to something that could only be seen as pitiful. "I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it's better to hear it from me. In her diary, she writes about how boring you are, and how much she dreads hanging out with you. She's only doing it for the crown."

Steve didn't want to believe her, but it was his worst fear coming into light. He felt his heart sink into his stomach.

Why else would anyone hang out with him? Should it really bother him that everyone was the same?

You though, he had expected different.

"Thank you for telling me," he said, turning away and missing the lady's evil, satisfied smirk.

---

"Why would your mother lie?" he asked you. He couldn't deny the miserable feeling in his gut from your hurt expression.

"She's not my mother. She's my step-mom."

"She found your diary," he pressed.

"I don't even have a diary," you whispered exasperated, smearing a fallen tear with your palm.

The silence was tangible.

"Why would you believe her over me?" The tears continue to fall and you decided to let them.

Steve extended his arm, but you stepped back, feeling the heartbreak close your throat. You struggled to swallow the lump.

You liked him a lot, maybe even loved him. You had spent an unbelievable amount of time together for how busy the both of you were, and maybe you should have clued him in on your home life. You just didn't want to be pitied.

Maybe this was for the better. You were world's apart, and you weren't ready to be something you weren't.

----

He called your name, but you were already walking away.

PART THREE

AN:

This was only supposed to be two parts but it got too long 🙈 a third is on its way. Hopefully it won't take me as long to get published.

If you want tagged in part 3, please comment on the FIRST PART. helps me keep track better.

Taglist:@lharrietg @eralen @animegirlgeeky @trudy-shams @liecastillo

Thank you for reading and comment and reblogging. I see every single one. It makes my day ❤️❤️❤️

[peakyscillian]

Break | Cillian Murphy x Fem!Reader | One Shot - Prompt |

Summary: Based off of the break up prompt lists. "I've thought about it. All night. And I think we both should take a break." & "I loved you. And I don't think I could ever forget you. Had things never gone south, I'd— I would've grown old with you. I'm so sorry, but I can't do this anymore." Warnings: Language, heartbreak. Request: Anon. A/N: Okkkk I struggled to break up with Cillian because why would I?. This has a little bit of Joe Cole x reader as well. I'm so sorry if I also break your hearts wirth this! Let me know if you want to be on my taglist!

•Break•

You had given up and decided to head to bed once the clock turned to midnight, you were waiting up for your boyfriend. You'd been doing that alot lately. Cillian would wander in whenever he pleased, not letting you know where he was or had been. You were barely exchanging words when you were around each other, and the last time you'd been intimate was a distant memory.

The thought of not even having him try to kiss your face all over when he returned from a few weeks filming was enough to make you hiccup out a sob as you stood in front of the bathroom mirror, you were losing him and you had no clue what had caused it.

You threw back the heavy duvet, climbing under it, you grabbed for his pillow it smelt just like him and you needed that right now,you needed to know you could have something of him close. The bedroom door opening and the light from the hall signalled he was back, you hadn't seen him since 7am that morning you were rushing out the door to work, had managed to slip a kiss to his cheek as he busied himself with making breakfast, he had grumbled a see ya later as you closed the door behind you.

Rolling over you watched as he undressed, dropped his clothes into the hamper just inside the wardrobe and headed for the bathroom, you heard the shower turn on, with a sigh you left the bed, opening the bathroom door you sat on the marble side, waiting for him to finish.

His blue eyes flicked over you as he stepped out, your eyes trailed over his body the carved out abs on his stomach, his broad shoulders all the working out for Peaky Blinders was paying off. "Do you even love me, anymore?" you asked arms folded across your chest, Cillian stopped dead in his tracks only moving to wrap a towel around his waist, the water dropping from his hair onto his back. His muscles flexed as his huffed out a breath ""I've thought about it. All night. And I think we both should take a break" his voice was calm, carefully measured he hadn't turned to look at you. Without a word you moved from the side, biting back tears you left the bathroom, heart shattering with every step. Grabbing the pillow you had been curled into you snatched your phone from the bedside table, the charger and your laptop. Cillian had appeared from the bathroom. You looked at him, the hurt evident on your face "I'll be gone tomorrow" you didn't look back as you left your shared room, heading for the guest room furthest away so he wouldn't hear your heartbreak even more. Sure enough the next mornig, you were gone and Cillian knew he'd made the biggest mistake. *** Cillian spotted you sat out on the terrace, of course you would be here, you'd spent years of your life around his castmate, years of friendship formed between you all. Of course you'd be celebrating Paul and Annie's engagement with them. He just wasn't prepared to see you with Joe, you hadn't spoke to him at all in the year since he broke up with you, you had made sure the house was cleared whilst he was away and you'd definitely diverted his calls. You were sat at the table, in a simple denim summer dress, your hair was shorter but it suited you, you were leaning in close to Joe, his smile was definitely down to you, you always knew how to make people happy. He knew how bad he'd treated you, how he'd left you wondering every evening at home, whether he'd return or not. The press and pressure of your age had got to him, he needed a private life craved one but the fact he'd stepped out with you half his age and so open had pulled his life into the spotlight, he couldn't deal with it so he had hurt you in the process. Helen and Natasha had told him about your relationship with Joe, with how it had all happened so naturally after you had reappeared from hiding away from them all, Joe trying his hardest to mend your heart. Sophie had been so angry with him, told him he was selfish and ridiculous to think anything outside of your relationship mattered so much that he had to break your heart that way. Cillian just hadn't expected to have to deal with seeing you curled into Joe's side, dropping kisses to his cheek the way you had with him and then you were walking up the path to the kitchen where he'd been hiding. You had stalled slightly at the sight of him, the sight of him there in front of you, after a year of avoiding him, you had childishly ignored his calls not wanting to hear him reason with you over his decision, not wanting to hear his stupid excuses. You walked past him, straight to the bathroom in the hall, stealing a few extra minutes to catch your breath after that familiar scent of his aftershave caught your senses and knocked the breath from your lungs. It had took you months to even want to speak to anyone about him, Helen had held you so many times as you sobbed, as you cursed her closest friend, wished him some kind of pain like the one he had caused you. Joe had took you out on a friend date, something to make you feel normal and then at the end of the night his lips had brushed yours and you felt so many emotions, you'd cried right there on your doorstep, he wrapped you tight in his arms, rocked you on the sofa whispered promises you weren't sure you could believe.

You had believed them though, you'd let him in even with the fear of judgement from others, about moving on within the group but he had brushed all those fears away, he'd let everyone know when you were ready and the support was enormous everyone just wanted you happy. Cillian was waiting outside the bathroom, he need to speak to you, he needed to hear your honey coated voice once more, it had been too long. "Hi y/n" he spoke softly not to make you jump. You smiled at him, not quite reaching your eyes "Hey Cill, how are you?" you had took the polite route, you didn't want to ruin Paul and Annie's day. Cillian had nodded sipping from his drink, a little shocked at how easily his nickname had left your lips "fine, yeah good, you?" You lent against the wall "great thanks" you bit at your lip eyes darting across his face, his hair was longer his preffered style, he looked tired but you knew he'd be out in New York filming for a new movie, Helen sometimes couldn't help but mention him. "does he treat you right?" Cillian couldn't help himself, he needed to ask. You let out a small laugh "He does thank you for the concern, but really you didn't exactly treat me right towards the end"

He deserved that he knew he did but it didn't hurt any less "You never let me apologise for that" You simply rolled your eyes "I loved you. And I don't think I could ever forget you. Had things never gone south, I'd— I would've grown old with you. I'm so sorry, but I can't do this anymore" you pushed away from the wall, heading back out into the garden. Cillian watched you go, watched as Joe greeted you half way back to the table, concern on his face, he watched as you reassured him, kissing him hand squeezing at his arm, he knew that touch he knew how that felt and he had to try his hardest to hold back his emotions as you turned to look right at him, giving him a small smile before taking your seat again. Cillian made his way to his own seat, next to Finn and Sophie who turned to include him in the conversation, his heart pounding at the fact he really had lost you now, and he only had himself to blame. *** Taglist. @queenshelby @cloudofdisney @janelongxox @datewithgianni @elenavampire21 @magicalpieex

[eeveedel]

the way that the 10 minute all too well managed to live up to everyone's expectations. all too well and the vault tracks have really beautiful parallels to songs she's wrote about joe and also all too well being followed by 22 on the track list is.... something. all too well is SO telling and yeah its a call-out but its also really vulnerable and devastating

I tried to imagine what would have happened if she released the 10 minute version on the album in 2012 and i think i've decided that if she did, it somehow would have ended up being worse for her. like, all too well is a classic and in her top 5 songs but the 5 minute wasn't like, famous outside of the fandom, but a 10 minute song would have made headlines in 2012 and because the song is so raw (there's no way the fuck line would have been allowed) but its.. so open and heartbreaking and so telling about what the relationship was. Can you imagine a pre-reputation taylor swift calling someone out and knowing he'd only date people younger than him but saying he dumped her because of her age? no way. Red is THAT ALBUM like i think so many girls my age (i'm 22 - today i actually turned 22.5 lol so being 22 and hearing this album esp the song with phoebe is a whole ass trip), this album is transcendent. 1989 is maybe an iconic album, but Red in my mind is like., ethereal. its contradictions. its heartbreaking. but its nostalgic and heartwarming at the same time. its me being 13 and wanting to be 22 more than anything because taylor looked like she was having so much fun. but being 22 and now understanding why turning 22 was so important to her (because of her 21st) and thinking you know everything at 18 but you're lost and dont know anything at 22 is so true and its like being hugged but your heart is aching at the same time. 22 really is being happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time. but it is in the best way

Taylor also is a prophet - J*ke's girlfriend is 25 and Nothing New basically predicted Olivia Rodrigo

i diddnt realize i needed to get this all out LMAO im so sorry

I could not agree more with ALL of this.

As much as I am THRILLED to finally have the 10 minute version and I agree it is an absolute masterpiece and one of the centerpieces of her career, I think 2012 was not the time to release it. I've seen several posts/videos about this and like...I think people forget how bad the climate was that year, especially around Taylor. This was pre-Me Too, even pre-"Buzzfeed era feminism," we did not have the same discussions around abuse and grooming and power imbalances we have now. And Taylor was still very young and while she was an established artist, she did not have the same power she has now. I think releasing that full version would have backfired on her and turned into a massive slut-shaming fest (not to mention Red was released in the midst of Haylor, when I would argue the slut shaming around her was at an all time high).

I also love that this is an album that is so clearly a reflection of her age and career at the time. I think she said on Seth Meyer that it was the first time in her career she wasn't a shiny new thing, and I also think Jake was one of her first really adult relationships, and also just being in your early 20s is hell. I think it's so impactful to see a fuller picture of what part of her life now, and to see an older Taylor reflecting on it now. And it's lovely to see her new production style reflected in this album; one of my irl friends actually pointed out this album feels more stripped down/simplified, whereas a lot of the original Red was very overproduced to reflect trends at the time. I think this is a true remastering and it's just gorgeous

Also as someone who is also now in their early twenties and was a young teenager when it came out -- I am holding this album TIGHT. Red was always one of my favorites, but it hits unbelievably close to home now.

[cichocicho]

Okay so here is a short list of some considerations before going to a race:

- Where is the track located? Is it a city race or is it located in a forrest in the middle of nowhere? This can make a big difference in getting back and forth to the track and how expensive the accommodation is gonna be.

- How do you get to the track? The f1 tracks are huge and it takes a while to walk from the entrance to your seats. How far you have to walk also depends on your seats, and their pricelevel. If you come by car there can also be significant walking from the parking area to just the main entrance. Some people suggest bringing a small scooter to get around faster, but in my experience there are too many people for that.

- What to bring to a race? Everything! Snacks, water, umbrellas, sunscreen, headphones, lunch, pillows to sit on, some people bring camping chairs to sit elsewhere, binoculars, games etc. Pack a big bag and bring everything. You can get a lot in the stands of course, but it is expensive and you are probably gonna spend a lot of hours there (the long trek walking back).

- How long are you staying in the host town? When planing the trip it's important to consider for how long you will stay after the race. I recommend a buffer of arriving at your accommodation a day before the weekend (Thursday) and staying until a day after (Monday) to not end up in the massive traffic and stress that happens after a race. Like 100.000 people trying to go home at once is not fun.

- What seats to buy? So I just did a lot of research before buying my seats to make sure that it was worth it. There are usually recommendations and reports on sections of a track that you can find online. The most important is that there is a screen close by. That way you can still follow the race quite well, since even the most expensive seats still only gives you a view of part of the track.

A quick comparison, I think going to a race is closer in experience to going to a music festival, than it is going to see a football match.

I hope this makes sense, and tell me if you want more 🤷‍♀️😊

Nice that you support so many drivers, it's good to have lots of options, I feel like it's less heartbreak that way. And probably also more fun to watch, since you can cheer for multiple people 😊

I'm honestly still vibe checking for football teams, so I'm unsure. I've just watched a few at random, when I see it on TV. Mostly in the Danish league though, and there I of course have to support my dads favorite team. For the nt I really like Scotland, Italy and Switzerland for some reason (I'm still learning, so I don't know much about it yet). Looking forward to nations league thus summer 😊

heeey hi hello! i am so sorry for replying so late but i didn’t have the time when i first read it and layer i just forgot

thank you so so much for all the tips!!! some of them are so eye opening, for example i had no idea that you can bring your own stuff to the race, like food and drinks, i assumed it’s more like a festival where they don’t let you bring liquids & you have to buy all of the stuff

for now i don’t really have any questions, you’ve covered all the important points it seems but if i decide to go then i will let you know and ask (assuming you would still be following me then lol)

i like italy & switzerland nts too! also belgium, croatia, sweden … i don’t know much about them though, mainly basing it on the vibes skajsjka i also obviously like ukrainian nt and honestly was so happy to see them do good at euros (and that heartbreaking faul that resulted in a broken leg was so hard to watch!! they lost but won in my heart)

also, who’s your favorite danish player?

okay, best wishes & i hope you’re well 💓

[septembersghost]

YOU KNOW I LOVE A LONDON BOY I SAW THE DIMPLES FIRST AND THEN I HEARD THE ACCENT THEY SAY YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS MY BROKEN BONES ARE MENDING WITH ALL THESE NIGHTS WE'RE SPENDING I TAKE THIS MAGNETIC FORCE OF A MAN TO BE MY LOVER YOUR HEART'S BEEN BORROWED AND MINE HAS BEEN BLUE HE BUILT A FIRE JUST TO KEEP ME WARM WHEN YOUR CASCADE OCEAN WAVE BLUES COME ONE SINGLE THREAD OF GOLD TIED ME TO YOU FOREVER AND EVERMORE!!!

She's so in love with him I want to die! Jess!!! Can we talk about how gorgeous [ding!] Taylor and Joe's love story is? I was listening to little Lover the other day and it's like - with every guitar string scar on her hand! very hurt led her to the place where she could choose him! She mentions he has scars too, and asks to see those places, so they can heal together. In long story short, she was surrounded on all sides and his light passed by and she laid her weapons down to be with him. They live in peace, even though she worries she can never fully give him peace because there's that harsh focus on her, but is it enough to choose each other? It is, because it's golden, like daylight! Everything connected by their single thread of gold, and she tied it into her art. Then she even got to share creating art with him. She's willing to be honest and to trust us with that after working so hard to keep it a secret from the destructive world. They may not be in the press a lot and that's better for them, but she has told the story in her music. It makes me soft.

anon, I love everything about this!!! but I have to confess to you that I had a mild anxiety attack at first seeing the caps because my thoughts spiraled to, "oh NO, what happened in fandom now?" to "oh no, did I do something that caused someone to yell at me?," and then my eyes focused enough to see the words "London Boy" and I started bop-singing in my head. it was an entire roller-coaster before I went:

I have a lot of emotions/thoughts about this that no one wants, and I know there's a general idea that we shouldn't get invested in other people's relationships, which is something I try to abide by more often than not, but I won't lie, she's one of the rare exceptions. I think with Taylor it has particular meaning because we, as fans, have witnessed so much of her path, heartbreaks, and growth, and have empathized with her and felt a part of that, and then laid it over our own lives and experiences (or, you know, favorite characters, whatever the case may be! 💕), often for many years. her music has been a part of my life for almost 13 years at this point, and naturally as that happens and as art affects us and we care about those who touch our hearts, we wish the best for them. Taylor's diaristic songwriting has allowed us a window into her mind/heart and many ups and downs, and the contentment and home she found with Joe, amidst chaos and pain and betrayals, when she briefly lost faith that she'd even be able to make music again, when those walls were closing in, and then her rising above and holding onto that love while reasserting her voice and her power, is just really moving to see (or hear).

it's actually remarkable how much of the story she has told us, given her (very understandable) choice to try and keep them secure from too much invasion of the press, and her initial fears and need for secrecy following constant voyeuristic spotlights. it's all laid out across reputation -> Lover -> the personal tracks on both folklore and evermore. you could take the songs specifically about that and create its own lengthy album. her intimate songwriting has always been a part of her appeal, of course, so being vulnerable enough to share details and deep emotion is part of what makes her the artist she is, but hearing the uncertainty to absolute surety ("is it cool that I said all that?" to "I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all" to the entirety of the lakes; from "I knew there was no one in the world who could take it" to "hell was the journey, but it brought me heaven." in the cracks of light, she dreamed of him! every love she's known in comparison is a failure! "even in my worst times, you could see the best of me. flashback to my mistakes, my rebounds, my earthquakes, even in my worst lies, you saw the truth of me. and I woke up just in time, now I wake up by your side. my one and only, my lifeline"), the journey and its meaning to her life, is so beautiful. the fact she could artistically collaborate with him too!

she's written from the very beginning of her career about anxiety and feeling out of place and having to be guarded, she bares those worries along with sharing her passions. in recent years, she uses those battle metaphors a lot (all of The Archer, "I brought a knife to a gun fight," "threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now," "I dropped my sword, I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door, and we live in peace, but if someone comes at us, this time I'm ready"). I think about way back to The Story of Us - "I would lay my armor down if you said you'd rather love than fight." she finally found that (White Horse too - "I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well"). he didn't have to "rescue" her ("you don't need to save me..."), I think it's clear they gain strength from one another and share a bond that's only gotten stronger whenever it's been tested (Afterglow, False God, and even hoax all really speak to that, among others). obviously we don't know her, we'll never understand entirely how terrible the various events circa 2016 were for her, but another thing I think she's been admirably open and revealing about is the depth of that hurt and how it affected her mental health. she's still processing and recovering, and that's okay - folklore/evermore are layered with the pieces of her still suffering and still working through that, and then the beating heart of her love with him (I mean! "give you my wild, give you a child; give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other, family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother"), and the refuge she's found in her art and through all she's endured and recovered from ("pulled the car off the road to the lookout, could've followed my fears all the way down" to "you were there, and I was catching my breath, floors of a cabin creaking under my step, and I couldn't be sure, I had a feeling so peculiar, this pain wouldn't be for evermore" and "one single thread of gold tied me to you") is the hope in it. if you can be vicariously happy for someone else, her happiness definitely has that feeling. she once believed love would be burning red, but it's golden!

[gstarkmusic]

"Happier Than Ever" by Billie Eilish

Release: 2021

(Disclaimer: I do not agree with her recent actions/behavior, I am just here to explore music).

Billie beautifully opens this record with a sentimental track about growing up and changing called "Getting Older", it perfectly prepares the listener for the rest of the album through its lyrics and melodies. As a Brazilian, I actually loved how Billie explored Bossa Nova sounds within this album and her voice works so so well with it. If 'NDA' didn't remind me (and many others) of the Among Us game so much, it definitely would have made to my top 5. Finneas is a genius with the production of this record, with many nearly seamless transitions between tracks and a fantastic mix between the slower tracks and the more hype tracks of this album. With the exception of "my future", "Therefore I Am", and "Your Power" (which are very good tracks), I believe Billie aimed wrong by making "NDA" and "Lost Cause" the promotional singles for this album. Tracks such as "Happier Than Ever" and "I Didn't Change My Number" or even "Oxytocin", would have gotten fans much more hyped for the release of this record and would have given them a much better feel of the album beforehand.

"I've been loved before, but right now in this moment I feel more and more like I was made for you"

shoutout to the hopeless romantics out there!

TOP 5 TRACKS:

Halley's Comet (I'm a heartbreak ballad whore and resonate with it a little too much)

Billie Bossa Nova

Happier Than Ever

I Didn't Change My Number

GOLDWING

[bananaofswifts]

By : Callie Ahlgrim and Courteney Larocca

Taylor Swift released her eighth studio album, "Folklore," on Friday.

Swift surprised fans by announcing its release just one day in advance — and less than one year after the release of her acclaimed seventh album "Lover."

"Most of the things I had planned this summer didn't end up happening, but there is something I had planned that DID happen," she wrote on social media. "And that thing is my 8th studio album, folklore. Surprise!"

She described "Folklore," stylized in all lowercase, as "an entire brand new album of songs I've poured all of my whims, dreams, fears, and musings into."

Much of the 16-song tracklist — 17 on the deluxe edition — was cowritten and produced by The National's Aaron Dessner. Smaller pieces were cowritten by Bon Iver, Jack Antonoff, and someone named William Bowery. Antonoff also produced five songs.

Insider's music team (reporter Callie Ahlgrim and celebrity and music editor Courteney Larocca) listened to the new album on our own, jotting down our initial thoughts track by track.

Almost immediately, we were forced to reckon with the fact that "Folklore" might be Swift's best album yet — potentially even better than "Red," which previously seemed like it couldn't be topped. We were stunned with the mature, poetic, stunningly understated collection of new songs.

Here is what we thought of each song on "Folklore" upon first listen. (Skip to the end to see the only songs worth listening to and the album's final score.)

"The 1" is the best album opener Swift has had in years.

Ahlgrim: "I'm doing good, I'm on some new s---" is a wild way to begin a new Taylor Swift album. This is going to be different.

This is easily the best intro song she's released in years. "The 1" far surpasses "I Forgot That You Existed" on "Lover," "...Ready for It?" on "Reputation," and "Welcome to New York" on "1989" in terms of sheer quality.

It's also an engaging scene-setter; I find myself gently rocking back and forth, eyes closed, smiling without realizing. It's only the first song and so far, I am totally grasping the woodsy aesthetic of this album. I'm already ready for more.

Larocca: I would argue that there hasn't been a strong album opener on one of Swift's albums since "State of Grace" on "Red" in 2012. "The 1" breaks that curse.

I was vibing from that very first piano note, but when Swift comes in and warmly delivers the first line of the album — "I'm doing good, I'm on some new s---" — it became evident this project wouldn't be anything like the rest of her discography.

As far as "The 1" goes as a standalone song, it's incredibly solid. Swift has a breezy attention to rhythm as she paints a tale of a the-one-who-got-away romance. I truly, truly love it. This might end up being an all-time favorite track.

"Cardigan" is beautifully influenced by Lana Del Rey.

Ahlgrim: I heard "Cardigan" first because I watched the music video before I listened to the album.

Right off the bat, I was struck by the Lana Del Rey melody in the chorus; I jotted down "folksy 'Blue Jeans.'"

Swift has actually cited Del Rey as an inspiration in the past, so this makes sense — and that particular shade of nostalgic, haunting glamour really works for Swift's voice, so I'm overall very impressed with this direction. I am more than amenable to a "Red" meets "Norman F---ing Rockwell!" album experience. On my second time around listening, sans music video, "Cardigan" already feels richer coming after "The 1."

This time, I'm struck by small lyrical details like "Sequined smile, black lipstick," a clear callback to her past eras, and "Tried to change the ending / Peter losing Wendy," an effective way to evoke young love and innocence lost.

I also think the song's central refrain, "When you are young they assume you know nothing," is clean and sharp and — especially given Swift's public struggles with sexism and years-old contracts — extremely poignant.

Larocca: I had the thought that Swift listens to Lana Del Rey after hearing "Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince" on last year's "Lover," but now I know for sure that Del Rey is an influence on Swift.

While "Cardigan" isn't what I thought this album would be like sonically, I'm overjoyed at how clearly singer-songwriter this album already is. I've been waiting years for Swift to make a lyrical marvel set to acoustic, warm, folksy instrumentals and it's here.

(And while I expected something different sonically, I am not mad at all by the backing instrumental choices here.)

"The Last Great American Dynasty" proves Swift is a natural storyteller.

Ahlgrim: Personally, I love Storyteller Taylor, so this is quite literally music to my ears.

There are so many delicious details here to unpack. The first verse, with its subtle sexist whisperings about Rebekah Harkness ("How did a middle-class divorcée do it?" and "It must have been her fault his heart gave out"), is a truly savvy way to set up for the song's eventual reveal.

Rebekah spent her time partying with friends, funding the ballet, playing card games with Salvador Dalí, somehow "ruining everything" — and her Holiday House was "free of women with madness" until Swift herself moved in.

That twist in the bridge is poetic genius. When the final chorus adjusts to the present day, underscoring the parallels between Rebekah and Swift, I'm forcefully reminded of an iconic bridge when Romeo finally proposed and changed everything — but Swift has evolved past daydreams of pure white dresses and fathers giving permission.

Larocca: I'm immediately taken back to 2012's "Starlight" when "The Last Great American Dynasty" starts. Thankfully, this song ends up being a lot better than "Starlight," which always felt more like a filler track on "Red" to me.

I love a lot here: the casual use of "b----," the acute attention to detail ("She stole his dog and dyed it key lime green"), and every version of this line: "There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen."

I had a marvelous time listening to this song.

"Exile," featuring Bon Iver, is one of Swift's most successful duets to date.

Ahlgrim: Swift and Bon Iver, aka Justin Vernon, are two of the best songwriters alive today, so this song was destined to be breathtaking.

Swift has historically had difficulty allowing her voice and vision to coexist with a featured artist; her collaborations often leave me feeling like she should've just delivered the whole song herself.

But Swift and Vernon were able to weave their lyrics together so gracefully, I was left feeling grateful for his presence. His rich, rustic tone and those iconic hummed harmonies lends the regretful song an added coat of sincerity.

The production here is generally fine, but the layered instrumentals in the ending really bring the song together. I love a dramatic exit.

Larocca: When I see a "featuring Bon Iver" on a track, I instantly assume Vernon is going to come in with his high falsetto. So it was almost jarring that the song starts with Vernon sounding like a lumberjack dad who hasn't left the woods in a decade.

That didn't end up being a detriment, though. Swift sounds delicate on her verse, and their vocals contrast nicely later on the track.

This one also brings to mind her collab "The Last Time" with Snow Patrol's Gary Lightbody. The line "I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending" is also reminiscent of "If This Was a Movie."

I'm obsessed with the clear influences Swift's previous discography had on these tracks, which have also so far felt completely unique to her catalog.

"My Tears Ricochet" is an extraordinary display of Swift's songwriting powers.

Ahlgrim: First of all, "My Tears Ricochet" is an incredible song title. Let's take a moment to appreciate that.

In fact, pretty much every line of this song is arresting.

Much of it feels both familiar and rare, like you know exactly what Swift is singing about, but hadn't thought to put it in those words before — which is, in my opinion, the mark of any good piece of writing but especially a breakup song. You can relate to the emotion, if not the particular details. You can hear the pain. It almost plays like a funeral march.

What a gift it is, what an exhilarating experience, to feel like you're listening to a poem being recited in real-time.

Larocca: Any true Swiftie knows that track five is reserved for the most vulnerable moment on the record, so I went into "My Tears Ricochet" ready to be sad.

I am endlessly impressed with how Swift managed to bake the word "ricochet" into this song so effectively. She also ditched her traditional song structure for this one, and instead built the track from peak to peak, utilizing clever lyrics along the way to tell an epic, devastating story, almost obviously calling back to the most beloved track five of "All Too Well."

I'm calling it now — this one is going to age like a fine wine. As all of Swift's best breakup ballads do.

"Mirrorball" is several strokes of genius.

Ahlgrim: This song gives me intense Clairo vibes, and I mean that as a very high compliment.

It's so fun and refreshing to hear Swift slip into different musical styles, and this shimmery take on alternative-bedroom-pop highlights her soft vocals and nuanced songwriting supremely well.

Also, my Leo sensibilities are fully under attack by this bridge: "I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try / I'm still on that trapeze / I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me." Oof! Just tag me next time.

Larocca: This one is so pretty! Swift's vocals sound better than ever as she spins on her highest heels across a glittery daydream.

"I'm a mirrorball / I'll show you every version of yourself tonight" might be the thesis statement of this entire album. So far, "Folklore" feels both diaristic and vague; detailed and completely anonymous.

Fans will be debating for years whether this album is about Swift's own life, or if it's simply really great storytelling pulled directly from her own mind. In the end, it doesn't really matter.

Because as all of Swift's best songs do, these songs will attach themselves to listeners in completely new ways, showing them elements and stories from their own lives.

"Seven" is pure whimsical magic.

Ahlgrim: This is playing make-believe in the garden when you're too young to feel self-conscious; it's poetic and nostalgic and full of awe in such an unpretentious way.

I wouldn't change one thing about this song. Swift's whispery high register sounds divine, and at this point in the tracklist, her rhythmic delivery in the chorus hits like a shot of espresso.

Right now, I'm wondering if it's possible for Swift to maintain this intrigue and momentum for another nine songs. There hasn't been a misstep to speak of, and I remain wholly beguiled. Can it last?

Larocca: The beginning of "Seven" sounds like Swift listened to Marina's "Orange Trees" on repeat before showing up to her songwriting session. Fortunately, "Orange Trees" is the only song I like on Marina's "Love + Fear" so I will gladly accept this inspiration.

Swift continues to impress with both her vocals and her sense of rhythm on "Seven." I also personally love space imagery so the line "Love you to the moon and to Saturn" is a standout line.

"August" will go down as one of the best songs in Swift's extensive repertoire.

Ahlgrim: I'm immediately catching hints of Phoebe Bridgers and girl in red in Swift's delivery. And I simply adore the idea that Swift has spent the last few months sitting at home, daydreaming about summertime humidity and listening to music by queer indie-pop girls. 

In an album full of songwriting expertise, this song has some of Swift's best lines yet: "August sipped away like a bottle of wine / 'Cause you were never mine" actually hurts me.

In my notes, there simply sits this valuable insight (yes, in all-caps): "WANTING WAS ENOUGH. FOR ME IT WAS ENOUGH TO LIVE FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL." This song has my favorite bridge on the album so far.

In terms of production, "August" is exquisite. It's lush and layered without feeling overwhelming at any point. It builds to the perfect level then recedes, like a wave. 

Also worth mentioning: It can now be considered a historical fact that any time Swift mentions a car or driving in one of her songs, it's a perfect song.

Larocca: While listening to "August," I texted Callie and said, "I can't wait to finish the album so I can relisten to 'August.'" It's an instant favorite. 

This is also the first track on the album that seems directly inspired by our current state. Not because she's expressing fear or singing about being bored at home, but because she so easily slips into a reflection of a relationship that ended years ago with a newfound wave of wistful nostalgia. 

When quarantine started, it seemed like a million lifestyle articles came out explaining why everyone suddenly felt compelled to text their exes and why we're so invested in looking back instead of forward right now. 

"August" validates those feelings with zero judgment, letting its listener know that yes, it's totally normal for you to be overanalyzing that quasi-relationship you were in back in college that never made it past graduation. Am I projecting? Maybe, but that's debatably what Swift's music is best utilized for.

I'm also going to be thinking about this song's bridge and outro for the rest of my life.

The National's influence can be felt on the stunning "This Is Me Trying."

Ahlgrim: "This Is Me Trying" quickly strikes a more sinister tone than its predecessors — still nostalgic and wistful, but carrying an edge, like a threatening secret.

Ironically, this one was co-written and co-produced by Jack Antonoff, not Aaron Dessner, though I can really hear The National's influence here. I'm getting strong wafts of songs like "Pink Rabbits" and "Dark Side of the Gym."

Based on Swift's own words, we can speculate that "This Is Me Trying" is a fictional tale, built around the image of "a 17-year-old standing on a porch, learning to apologize." And, as previously stated, I'm a big fan of Storyteller Taylor, so I'm into it.

The song's darker tone mingles really well with Swift's imagery; when you're a teenager, and you make a mistake, it can feel like the end of the world.

Larocca: "This Is Me Trying" is precisely what I imagined this album sounding like when I found out Swift collaborated with the National's Aaron Dessner and Bon Iver.

But I'm glad she was strategic about her use of echo and also finally paid attention to the tracklisting from a sonic standpoint. This haunting soundscape is reminiscent of 2014's "This Love" and comes in right when you need it after the yearning daydream of "August."  

I'd also like it to be on the record that the line "I got wasted like all my potential" ruined me and this song is a win for that lyric alone.

"Illicit Affairs" is a glowing example of what sets Swift apart from her peers as a songwriter.

Ahlgrim: The expert songwriting on "Illicit Affairs" reminds me of the as-yet unseated queen in Swift's discography: "All Too Well."

Swift is a master of wielding specific details like weapons: "What started in beautiful rooms / Ends with meetings in parking lots," she sings. "Leave the perfume on the shelf / That you picked out just for him." These are the sorts of images that set Swift apart, and they're especially strong when she punctuates their delivery with a little growl in her voice.

This song has real power. I have chills.

That power is magnified in the third verse, similar to how "All Too Well" builds to a crescendo: "Don't call me 'kid,' don't call me 'baby' / Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me."

Certainly, "Illicit Affairs" is more restrained than Swift's iconic arena rock ballad, but goddamn that last verse hits hard.

Larocca: The way that she says "him" in the second verse shook me out of my skin in the very best way. And "Don't call me 'kid,' don't call me 'baby' / Look at this idiotic fool that you made me" will go down as one of her best breakup lines of all time.  

It's been a minute since Swift delivered a painstakingly beautiful breakup ballad, and the fact that this album is littered with them is, simply, a gift.  

"Illicit Affairs" has growing power and will likely become one of those tracks that fans form a strong emotional attachment to over time.

"Invisible String" is Taylor Swift at her most Taylor Swift.

Ahlgrim: "Invisible String" is a feast of Easter eggs and callbacks.

"Teal was the color of your shirt" reminds me of the line about Joe Alwyn's blue eyes on "Delicate," and her reference to a dive bar is similarly familiar. "Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs" recalls the push-and-pull on "Exile."

"Bad was the blood of the song in the cab" is undoubtedly a reference to Swift's 2015 single "Bad Blood," while "One single thread of gold / Tied me to you" feels like a nod to Swift's description of love's "golden" hue on the "Lover" album closer "Daylight."

This song is sprightly and sparkly and certainly nice to listen to, but its real strength lies in these details.

Swift is weaving many different stories on this album, many connected by a sort of "Invisible String," tying different pieces of her life and your life and other lives together. It ends up feeling like a growing plant with far-reaching roots, or a sentient treasure map.

Larocca: I'd be lying if I said there weren't multiple points throughout this album where I worried that Swift and her boyfriend Joe Alwyn had broken up. 

Thankfully, "Invisible String" is a rosy, wide-eyed ode to love. The plucky guitar paired with Swift's soft vocals is a sound I want to live in, which is fitting since this track feels like coming home. 

Every small detail, from the nod to Alwyn's time spent working at a frozen yogurt shop in his youth, to the color imagery that paints every inflection of Swift's adoration (especially the single thread of gold) come together to lay the holy ground Swift's relationship walks on. 

Also, the image of Swift mailing Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner gifts for their expectant first child brings about an unbridled sense of joy.

"Mad Woman" is yet another highlight.

Ahlgrim: Every time I think I've heard the peak of this album's songwriting potential, Swift manages to surprise me. 

Case in point: "Do you see my face in the neighbor's lawn? / Does she smile? / Or does she mouth, 'F--- you forever?'" Whoa.

And another, for good measure: "It's obvious that wanting me dead / Has really brought you two together." I texted Courteney, "Did she really just say that??"

This song is sublime on its own, but the way it ties back into the perception of female freedom and "madness" on "The Last Great American Dynasty" makes it even better. "Mad Woman" is definitely a personal favorite so far on this album, if not in Swift's entire catalog.

Larocca: "Mad Woman" will forever hold the honor of being the first song in which Swift says "f---" and for that, we should all be thankful. 

I was also so wrapped up in the storytelling of this album, that it took a minute for this to even register that this is likely about the Scooter Braun and Scott Borchetta / Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West ordeals of Swift's past. These callouts used to be so obvious, that I greatly appreciate the subtlety and restraint here. 

It almost feels like these feuds were a lifetime ago, but this track does an excellent job at showcasing how anger and pain can leave an indelible mark on you. Swift went mad years ago, and that's just an accepted part of her narrative now. 

But for the first time, her rage sounds like freedom.

"Epiphany" doesn't stand out.

Ahlgrim: There are some really interesting vocal moments on "Epiphany," but so far, this is the only song I haven't felt captivated by. It's a bit snoozy, and a bit too long.

This song clearly references war, the loss of a loved one, and the coronavirus pandemic, which makes it lyrically intriguing at best — but distressing at worst. I don't mind letting the overall effect waft over me, but this won't be a song I revisit outside the context of the album.

Larocca: "Epiphany" is the only track on "Folklore" that didn't immediately grab me. It's essentially a war drama in song format, so some people might like it, but I truly couldn't care less about war movies or war songs! So it's not my favorite, but it makes for pretty background music. 

"Epiphany" does have another benefit though: Now, whenever some random dude erroneously claims Swift "only writes songs about her exes," fans have a clear song in her discography that they can point to and be like, "That's not true. This one's about war." 

That's not to say Swift needed that — anyone who has been paying attention understands she's quite possibly the best songwriter of her generation.  

This just happens to be further proof of that fact.

"Betty" is a charming callback to Swift's country roots.

Ahlgrim: "Betty" is like the best, sauciest song from Swift's 2006 debut country album that no one got to hear. It has sonic and lyrical similarities to hits like "Our Song" and "Tim McGraw," plus some name-dropping stuff like 2008's "Hey Stephen," plus a little harmonica thrown in for good measure! I love that for us.

"Betty" also appears to complete a three-song story, recalling details from "Cardigan" and "August" to close the loop on Betty and James, a couple in high school with some infidelity issues.

Looking back, it feels like "Cardigan" was told from Betty's perspective, while "August" was told from the perspective of a sort of "other woman" character. Now, we get James' side of the story. This is high art, folks! This is peak Storytelling Taylor!

"Betty" is also, like, very gay? I know it's easy to assume that James is a male character, but Swift herself was named after James Taylor, so she could be referring to herself. The song also references someone named Inez; James and Inez are the names of Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's daughters.

Plus, in retrospect, the idea of whispering "Are you sure? Never have I ever before" during a summer fling seems pretty gay to me.

I'm not saying the story of Betty and James would be better if it was written about sapphic lovers, but I'm not not saying that.

Larocca: This one is gay, and if you try to tell me otherwise, I will simply ignore you. 

But Courteney, it's from the perspective of a guy named James. James and the other character, Inez, share the same names as Reynolds and Lively's kids (will leave it up to you to decide if that means their third daughter's name is Betty). James is their daughter. Get out of here with your antiquated ideas about which names connotate which genders. 

To me, the James named in this song is a woman and a lesbian and this song is for the gays. I will not be saying anything else or accepting any feedback on this opinion, thank you.

"Peace" is honest and raw.

Ahlgrim: This song's intro sounds like LCD Soundsystem had a baby with "The Archer." The gentle guitar riff is also lovely.

With Dessner's echoey production, Swift's voice sounds like a warm little fire in a cave — fitting, since she sings in the chorus, "I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm."

OK damn, I'm getting really emotional. This songwriting is beautiful and haunting. "Peace" perfectly captures the ambient dread of feeling your partner slip away, of wondering whether love can be enough. 

Larocca: If you're a "Call It What You Want" stan, you're going to love its mature older sister "Peace." 

I will hereby forever be thinking about the parallels between "But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm" with "He built a fire just to keep me warm" and between "Family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother" with "Trust him like a brother."

Also, "Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?" has the same emotional impact as when Swift changes the lyric in "The Archer" to "I see right through me" and that's meant as the highest form of compliment. 

Swift's vocals are so crisp, that guitar riff is so stunning, and these lyrics are so gut-wrenchingly vulnerable. A perfect song, through and through.

"Hoax" is unlike any other album closer in Swift's catalog.

Ahlgrim: I don't know if Swift is going through a traumatic breakup, but if she isn't, the woman is one convincing creative writer.

The National makes some of my favorite music to cry to, so when I heard Aaron Dessner had co-written and produced much of this album, I knew I was in for some glossy cheeks. Until now, I think I've felt too captivated by Swift's artistry to really let myself get there.

But finally, "Hoax" is making me cry.

This is heart-wrenching stuff for anyone, but for a fan and student of Swift's work, this is like reading a friend's diary entry.

"Don't want no other shade of blue, but you" must be a reference to "Delicate," in which Swift sings: "Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you / Oh damn, never seen that color blue." Later, she croons, "You know I left a part of me back in New York," perhaps regretting the move to London that she detailed throughout "Lover." 

"You knew it still hurts underneath my scars / From when they pulled me apart," recalling the public shaming she endured and demons she exorcised on "Reputation." "But what you did was just as dark." Like I said before: Whoa.

Personally, I love having a good cry set to moody music, so I appreciate Swift's soul-bearing. "Hoax" is one gut-punch of an album closer.

Larocca: Swift has a habit of ending her albums on an uplifting, hopeful note and I always eat it up. But if "Folklore" hadn't made it clear by now that it should be consumed differently than any of her previous works, "Hoax" brings that message home.  

Instead of reveling in all the ways that love has made her stronger, happier, or more whole, "Hoax" deconstructs everything Swift has learned about love and leaves a bleaker picture about how maybe even the best of relationships hurt. 

But at its most tragic, this love still isn't something Swift will ever let go of: "Don't want no other shade of blue but you / No other sadness in the world would do."  

Finishing a Taylor Swift album has never been so devastating.

Final Grade: 9.7/10

[sunarintoes]

Synopsis: Yn Ln is an environmentalist - Miyagi University’s very own campus ‘Green Thumb.’ One day Hinata Shōyō who happens to be a close friend of Yn, invites them to come to one of his races. The only problem is that this race of his, is illegal. Read the journey of Yn who has been sucked into the world of illegal street racing with the one goal: to create an eco-friendly race car.

WC: 1K

Masterlist

Reminiscence

Standing in silence with your childhood friend made the world make sense, it felt like everything was being in place - like a completed jigsaw puzzle. Even though it was nearing the end of winter the nighttime breeze was still as icy as ever but you cannot find it in yourself to care. Your mind only reminisces over the first fifteen years of your life - the only years where Iwaizumu was with you. 

You suck in a deep breath, ‘you know, I’ve really missed you,’ your eyes widen before you exhale with a large smile.

‘I was just about to say that… Haji.’ Iwaizumi stiffens next to you, how long had it been since he heard that irritating nickname? Perhaps about eight, nine… maybe ten years? ‘Remember when we were younger, we would sneak out of our windows and meet on top of my roof where we’d have a picnic under the stars. My parents thought we had a rat problem for months before they figured out!’

Iwaizumi laughs, ‘what about the time we built a pillow fort in my living room and it collapsed on us? We were so sad it collapsed but we didnt make an effort to fix it, we just stayed there watching youtube and eating gummy worms.’

You smile whole heartedly and feel your cheeks hurt, ‘it’s been so long since I’ve been able to relax with someone by my side. I'm glad to have you back buddy.’

He looks down and lightly scuffles his foot, ‘yeah, me too. I'm glad to be back.’ 

You sigh as you look up to the sky, ‘one day let’s have another picnic amongst the stars.’

He lets out a breathy ‘yeah.’ You move closer to Iwaizumi, he does the same. Without knowing what overcomes you, you lay your head against his arm - like you used to. For some reason you found it to be more intimate than when you were fourteen but it didn't stop you. No, you couldn't find it in yourself to care, all that mattered was that your best friend - who you lost contact with, was back by your side. 

Iwaizumi felt his heart begin to accelerate. For some reason feeling you against him felt more dangerous than speeding down the highway during the unholy hours of the morning. He didn't realise until after he had done it but he still couldn't bring himself to stop slowly running his hand through your hair. To him, your hair is perfect. It reminds him of home - of an innocent childhood filled with laughter. The two of you stay like that for a while, saying nothing as you bask in one another’s presence. 

Suddenly you hear someone clear their throat from behind, both of you jump away from each other. 

‘I’ve been looking for you for the past fifteen minutes. Didn't expect to find you here,’ Oikawa pauses and looks over to you; frowning when you make eye contact. ‘Nevertheless, tonight we’re finding out about next week’s race and Shiratorizawa is racing.’ he turns away and takes a few steps before he looks back at Iwaizumi, ‘you coming?’

For a moment, Iwaizumi looks hesitant but that goes as quick as it comes as he jogs to catch up to Oikawa; ‘I'll see you later, Yn!’

You stay standing there, staring at their backs as they disappear from your line of vision. There was something gnawing at your heart but you repress it - knowing all too well the painful feeling of love and heartbreak. 

✄.

‘Oh Yn! You're here! I thought i was going to have to watch the race alone!’ 

You send Sugawara a half assed smile, ‘yeah sorry about that.’

Sugawara side eyes you, ‘what's with the long face. Looks like someone just told you Santa isn’t real.’

You scoff at his lame joke, ‘well yeah I'm just going through things.’

He places his hand on your knee, ‘well, if you ever need to talk i'm here.’ 

This time you cannot stop yourself from letting a warm smile make its way across your features. ‘Thanks… Suga.’

Much like last time the cars line up and get ready to race; ‘see that mustang there? It belongs to Ushijima ‘Ushiwaka’ Wakatoshi. The racers call him Demon of the Track because of how stable and fast he is. Sure he can do the fancy stuff like the block and run, but his specialty lies in pressing down the accelerator  and speeding his way to the finish line. No one outside of Shiratorizawa knows how he does it - how he wins with sheer brute force. He's a mystery that many want solved but no one wants to solve.’ You can only stare in awe at Ushijima’s car, it was a beautiful maroon colour that sparkled under the lights. It was a total contrast to Oikawa’s shining white and blue car. 

Speaking of the devil, you see Oikawa’s and Iwaizumi’s cars next to Ushijima’s.  Well, to be more precise there was Ushijima in position one, Oikawa in position two, a red car with the number ‘5’ in position three, Iwaizumi in position four and in position five was Shouyou. Wait.. Shouyou?!

Your eyes go wide, ‘that’s Shouyou’s car! What's he doing he could get hurt! He's against dudes that could be pros!’

Sugawara chuckles as he pulls you back down into your seat. ‘Calm down Yn! Hinata is an amazing driver. He may not be the best but he’ll surely do good in this race and besides, Kageyama is racing too.’

You look back down and grimace, ‘I guess… but I still don't like my best friend going up against literal monsters.’

‘Well your best friend is somewhat of a monster too.’ 

‘Hey Suga, see the flag girl? Is she Tanaka’s girlfriend ‘cause I swear I've seen her around him and his mechanic shop a lot.’

Sugawara bursts out laughing and you cannot help but feel silly, ‘no- that's Saeko… his older sister’ he says through wheezes. 

You frown at him, ‘it's not that funny, is it?

Unfortunately, this only makes him laugh more, ‘no it- it really isn't!’

‘Then why are you laughing?’ you whine.

‘I'm not sure!’ you playfully scoff and roll your eyes, redirecting your attention to the scene in front of you. 

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