#AND SALT WATER MAKES EVERYTHING 10X WORSE

[gender-trash]

when will i stop seeing posts of the genre "ah! you were supposed to automate away the BAD jobs, not the FUN CREATIVE ones! why not simply just [solve like 8 incredibly hard open problems in robotics] instead of [LLM thing]!"

like. sorry i apparently have to be the one to break this to you but the amount humans enjoy a task has basically zero correlation with how difficult it is to automate

[wyvern-tales]

I don’t wanna fall asleep, because I have so much to say

Warnings: Fear (lots of it), descriptions of violence, humans being jerks, swearing, main character being a jerk sometimez

Word count: 24,256

Summary: Zelu didn’t like humans. They were basically fairytale monsters, but real, and somehow 10x worse. Everyone knew to avoid them. That was just common sense. Avoid humans, avoid human inventions, avoid everything related to the surface world. Simple as that. 

So then how the hell did he end up in this crab trap?

Prompt: A human finds a tiny merfolk stuck/passed out/hurt on the beach, they decide to take it home

Author’s Note: Heyyyy so this is the first time I've actually written G/t before, and the first time I've completed a story, so I really hope you enjoy it! Spent a good chunk of my time making this!

Tagging @secret-shifters for the event and @just-some-gt-trash for the gift! Hope you like it!

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the ocean, there are rules.

 Every Merfolk in every water of the world knows them. Five simple rules, made for everyone, regardless of culture or ability. Merfolk are expected to follow these rules like their land cousins, the Borrowers, and their code. The Rules are actually really similar to the Borrower Code, with a few obvious exceptions. Merfolk weren't Borrowers, not even that close. Borrowers looked like humans, but small. Merfolk sort of looked like humans, but more resembled the fish they swam with in more ways than one, size included.

The Rules went like this:

-One: Never speak, approach, or interact with humans. They are hunters and slavers, they take and never give back.

-Two: Avoid all human traps, inventions, and contraptions. Nothing good will ever come of this, no matter how intriguing they seem.

-Three: Should you find a captured being, Merfolk or not, don't help them. The risk is too great and you will most likely end up captured along with them.

-Four: Where the sea meets the land, never surface, no matter the time or place. Humans live on every spot of dry land, no coast is safe.

-And Five: Should you be spotted, do not attempt to fight. Always hide or swim as deep as you can go.

  Every child is taught these rules once they reach seven hundred sun-cycles (around two years, if talking in the newer dialect), the first two especially. They are responsible for the safety and survival of the Merfolk species, after all. From the great Whales and Sharks to the elusive Anglers of the deep sea, the rules have protected the ocean from human meddling for generations. Even the terrifying sirens and shifters, beings from the more magical side of Merkind obey at least two or three.

  Zelu's mother, like most other mothers in the sea, made sure the rules were drilled into her children. Threats of evil humans with their nets and fish-hooks hung over their heads, keeping the young pups from ever leaving their cave at night. Tales of the giants beasts and their crimes were told to wide eyes and shivering tails. Humans were always brought up in lectures whenever a child was caught doing wrong, sort of like a mythical monster of legend, only this monster was real.

 "Swim too far out and a human will catch you!"

 "Put that hook down before it's owner comes looking for it!"

 "I hear humans look for naughty pups to sell. Shark pups are worth lots of land money on the surface!"

 "Say that one more time and I'll throw you ashore to the humans!"

 "Do you want to become human food?"

 "Never go out at night, or else the land-walkers will come roaring with their boats to find you."

 "Behave or you'll end up like your Uncle Tarren. Don't want to end up dried up and put on display, do you?"

  Zelu's mother meant well, she just wasn't the best at expressing it.

 The nursery knew her as the strictest shark in the Atlantic. Her real name was Lain, eldest of an old family of twelve siblings, but that didn't stop the other children from coming up with all sorts of nicknames.

 The old Mershark knew her children would have to leave the seaweed beds and go off on their own someday, even if dogfish grew slower than the other neighboring sharks. She knew she held the smallest family in the beds, with only three small pups compared to the usual five or six. The fact that two of them kept getting into trouble and starting fights with the other families, while the third refused to talk to anyone who wasn't directly related, didn't help at all.

 Zelu's mother didn't really need a sitter or bedkeeper (young dogfish pups usually did fine alone) but Lain had to hire one anyway. Her children didn't meet the number requirement, but apparently in terms of behavior, she needed an extra set of hands and eyes to 'keep them under control'. So she found a kind young Mershark from the Lemon clan, who went by the name of Kepsy.

 Kepsy watched over the pups while Lain was out hunting or running errands. Zelu and his siblings liked her well enough, she treated them like friends rather than stupid babies (like most bedkeepers) and wasn't too strict when it came to Lain's personal rules. But both she and their mother shared one annoying quirk.

  Kepsy could recite the Rules by heart, and clearly wanted the pups to do so as well. Every morning Lain wasn't around, the bedkeeper had them list the first three once before breakfast and once before bed. Zelu and his little sister Mala hated that part of Kepsy's routine, but the oldest, Cain, didn't seem to mind.

 Cain wasn't much of a speaker. He did things without words or explanation, usually communicating with body language and simple eye movements. He only talked to his family and nobody else, the only exception being Kepsy, and even then she usually just got a few one-word sentences. The other pups in the seaweed beds thought Cain was mute. Zelu's family knew better. He and Mala could tell just what he wanted without him ever opening his mouth. Quiet, cryptic, and observant, that was Cain.

 Once, Zelu asked why he was so dedicated to the Rules. Cain just flattened his fins and pointed out the rip in Kepsy's fin. He made sure Zelu was looking at it, before turning his claw to the long scar that curved from the corner of the sitter's mouth. He did this every time, always the same answer.

 Cain never had to elaborate. Everyone knew what had caused those scars.

  So Zelu knew exactly why the Rules meant so much to everyone. But if he's being completely honest, did it really have to go that far? His siblings didn't have to worry about humans until Lain passed on, when they'd be forced out to make their place in the ocean. Mala could probably take on every fish in the sea and come out on top. Their neighbor, Jessin, always went on about how Cain didn't need to fight anyone to win during combat training. Said he had a 'gift', whatever that meant (Zelu didn't understand it, but he knew better than to press, since Lain got annoyed when it was brought up).

 Zelu, well, he could handle himself just fine, thank you very much. Kepsy said he was always reckless, but everyone knew he was the fastest swimmer and had the ability to use his natural defenses offensively. That was something most Dogfish Mersharks couldn't master. Dogfish spines were meant to be used as a shield rather than a sword, but Zelu's shield held iron barbs and serrated edges. He rivaled Mala in terms of agility and speed, if he did say so himself, and could out-maneuver the fastest sharks in the beds, fitting into places most wouldn't be able to.

 Point is, Zelu could take care of himself. He knew that. The Rules kept Merfolk alive, yes, but did they have to be followed so strictly? There was no room for adventure anywhere. Who cares if he bent them a few times?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Famous last words.

 A small part of Zelu's brain knew he shouldn't have wandered too far from the seaweed nursery, away from the safety of his cave and siblings, just four sun-cycles after his birthnight.

 It knew he should have listened to Mala and Cain's calls for his return, rather than ignore them in favor of possible adventure, leaving while Miss Kepsy's back was turned.

 It knew he shouldn't have gone and explored the brackish beaches and muddy sandbars of the coast, not particularly enjoying the sickly sweet feel of fresh water mixed with salt running over his gills.

 It knew he shouldn't have swam closer to the crab traps that littered the barren sea floor, intrigued by the shiny tags and ropes that attached them to the surface world.

 It knew he shouldn't have tried to help the young Mercrab trapped inside. It knew he should have ignored her barely-masked pleas for rescue.

 That part of his mind knew he shouldn't have trusted her. It knew this, yet the rest of him still went to help, the majority ruling out logic. Zelu'd be lying if he didn't kind of expect her to shove him in to take her place, but the urge to assist a fellow Merfolk overpowered his caution. And after all that, here he was, that small part of his brain shaking its head in clear disappointment.

 The Mercrab grinned evilly at him from her perch on the trap ceiling. Zelu snarled at her, tail lashing in both anger and terror.

"This is your fault, you know." She said, clacking her armored fingers mockingly. "The rules forbid helping trapped Merfolk. But I expect nothing less from a brainless shark pup."

 She spat out the word 'shark' like it was something gross, scrunching up her face at the 'k'. Zelu said nothing. He simply bared his teeth, specially made for crushing and tearing at the shells of crabs and lobster. The Mercrab flinched away. She knew that when he gets older, they'll sharpen, ready to take on jellies, sport fish, and even bigger crustaceans, including Mercrabs.

 If he gets older. That was a huge if and both parties knew it.

"I just wanted to help you," He growled, thrashing his tail against the bars. "Is that really bad? Or do you bottom feeders not understand emotions?"

"My my, so touchy. I wouldn't be that rude to the humans if I were you," The crab pointed up to the rope. "They wait exactly one cycle before pulling up these cages. I'd say you have…."

 She raised a hand to test the currents, loudly tapping the metal wiring with a clawed foot. Zelu winced back with each reverberation, hissing as his fins flattened against his head.

"....thirty minutes left. They always come back when the water picks up. Gosh, I really must be going then."

 Thirty minutes? THIRTY MINUTES? When the water picks up? That....that's almost no time at all!

"W-wait a second! Let me out!" The Mershark suddenly cried, original panic pushing aside his anger. He gripped the twisted wire of his prison so hard, his soft skin threatened to break under pressure. "Y-you don't have to leave me here! I helped you!"

"And let you get revenge? Not a chance. I made my choice. You were dumb enough to break the rules, so just face the consequences." The Mercrab grinned wider at him, climbing off the trap and turning to leave. "Did you forget crabs and dogfish are enemies? I'd say this was stupid, even for you."

"B-but….I saved you! I-I rescued you! You should be thanking me!" He pleaded. "I-I didn't do anything to you! I'm just a pup!"

The Mercrab just shrugged. "Sorry. That's just how things work. Don't want another shark to grow old, do I? The less predators, the better."

 With an enraged yell, Zelu bashed his body against the cage and lunged, shoving his arms through the bars to slash at her with venomous claws.

 "YOU DIRTY-" He cut himself off with a snarl, gnawing on the bars that held him back. "I'LL- I'LL RIP YOUR LEGS OFF AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH YOUR OWN LIMBS!! LET ME OUT, DAMMIT!"

 The crab trap rocked violently, kicking up clouds of sand and muck in the Mercrab's face. Some of the other normal crabs were knocked into him, but he didn't care. He gnashed his teeth and flared his fins, as threatening as a ten-year-old shark pup could possibly be. His attacks missed by a hair, but his show of aggression seemed to work, making her back away.

"...Fine. Be mad. Won't help anything. Enjoy your doomed life, little dogfish." She shot him one last (albeit slightly irritated) smirk, before scuttling off to whatever whale carcass she crawled from.

 "GET BACK HERE!" He screamed after her. "GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD!"

  After about two whole minutes of shouting and fighting, Zelu's arms fell limp against the bars as he watched the Mercrab's shell vanish over the ocean dunes, rage settling like the seabed around him. His fins drooped, his spines flattened back into a neutral position, and his grey tail limply dragged against the uneven floor. Panting, the Mershark retracted his limbs and slowly sunk to the bottom of the trap, fingers still gripping the wired bars. Zelu let his forehead hit the wall with a depressing thunk.

  He felt crushed. He felt angry. He felt stupid. He felt, well, he felt humiliated. Mercrabs didn't pride themselves on their manipulation skills, no, they were more famous for being shellheads. Mercrabs weren't smart, they were tough and hard, no room for critical thinking anywhere. So for a shark, one of the strongest and most self-respecting Merfolk in the seas, to be tricked by one? The whole situation felt way more than humiliating, above all else.

 Mala and Cain were right. He never should have explored beyond the seaweed beds. He never should have gone chasing after adventure at such a young age, it had only brought him sorrow. Just like Lain said.

"..bloody traitor…." Zelu muttered to himself, turning his head slightly to shoot a look at his unwitting roommates. "....not you guys though. You seem fine."

 The trapped crabs simply gazed at him and clacked their claws, not a coherent thought crossing their minds.

  Zelu crossed his arms and swiveled to lean against the wall, the back of his head resting against the wire mesh. He looked up at the surface with a bubbly sigh. "Stupid shell-back…who does she think she is, ranting about me breaking the rules..."

 He didn't really know who he was talking to, but whatever. The crabs seemed to be listening a little. One of them, a large blue-shell with the biggest claws of the bunch, reminded Zelu of Cain, just a little. It was the quietest of the bunch. Zelu gave it an upward nod. The crab merely blinked at him, not moving from its stance. The Mershark huffed and turned away. Something about having a crab staring at him felt creepy.

 The crab trap felt far too small. The Mershark shuddered. There were only three normal crabs in with him, and they didn't do anything other than stare off into space, display their claws at each other, or stuff their faces with bait. They kept their distance though, which was a plus. Zelu considered eating one of the crabs, but decided he wasn't hungry. Probably for the best. Who knows how old that mystery meat called 'bait' was.

'Maybe Kepsy will come looking for me. It's way past noon, so Lain should be home by now. She'd break a few rules just to help, right?' Zelu thought, watching the sun rays beam through the water. '….Who am I kidding. Rule breaking is the last thing she'll do.'

 Zelu's mind brought up the faces of his siblings. He considered calling out and making tons of noise, off the slight chance one of them heard his pleas. He wasn't that far away from the seaweed beds. Maybe they'd hear him, if he put in enough effort!

 The Mershark instantly swam up and gripped some loose-ish wire. The crabs stumbled back at the sudden movement. He filled his gills with as much water as possible, ready to scream and rattle until his throat burned and his gills grew weary-

 When a long, dark shadow passed overhead, engulfing the crab trap in murky darkness. Zelu shut his mouth with a click, the air in his gills escaping in a stream of tiny bubbles. His hands felt glued to the thin wire, cutting into his palms from the sheer force he gripped it with. All will to speak died in his throat.

A Crocodile?

Here?

In Gator country?

  How the heck did it get so far from shore? They were notoriously reclusive and never ventured far from home, so seeing one out here in the crab beds made almost no sense at all.

 The croc drifted along, heavy tail swishing from side to side as it lazily circled overhead. It poked its head underwater, long toothy snout sweeping aside murk as it scanned the ocean floor. Sharp reptilian eyes went over Zelu's cage twice, sending claws of ice down his spine.

 Crocodiles didn't usually go after crab traps, right..?

  Eventually, it's gaze stopped on another separate trap, and the massive reptile dived down in an explosion of bubbles, tail pumping to build up speed. It seized the trap in those mighty jaws faster than Zelu could blink, crushing through the thin wire bars without trouble and stirring up a cloud of silt, before swimming back to the surface with its prize. The trap had been reduced to a flattened mess of wires and shells in almost no time at all.

A cracked crab shell drifted past Zelu, spiraling down into the sand.

His eyes followed it.

That had to be a clear warning from the universe. Zelu decided that maybe calling out was a bad idea.

  So instead, he hunkered down in one spot to wait until something happened.

 Occasionally, another crab would wander in to join him. Each time Zelu tried to scare it off, hissing (quietly) and flashing his claws and teeth. And each time, it ignored him in favor of free food. Zelu cursed himself, folding himself back up in the corner as yet another stupid crustacean tumbled in. The empty space shrank with each new addition and he hated it. Sure, he was bigger than them, but not by much.

Thirty minutes, huh?

 Probably more like ten now. There was nothing Zelu could really do at this point other than try to fall asleep, or stay awake until either the crocodile returned for another snack, or the humans came to retrieve their trap. It had been designed to let plenty of crabs in, but none out, creatures like Zelu included. Just by sight alone, he knew escape was pretty much impossible.

 Yes, all the Mershark could do was wait. So he adjusted his tail, laid his head down on the stiff metal floor, and prayed to the Great Megalo for a somewhat peaceful sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Zelu awoke to the sound of frantic rattling and squeaking. He ignored it at first, keeping his eyes firmly pressed shut, but then the ground seemed to jerk upward. He bounced up from his coiled position, spines flared and eyes wild. Did the croc find his prison? Was another Merfolk trying to break in? Did the humans return? Was someone trying to help him out?

 The cage jumped again, but didn't float back down this time. Zelu looked up at the ceiling, where the once lax rope now stood taut and firm, and then down at the rapidly shrinking seabed. Well, at least he got one out of four guesses.

 The crab trap jerkily burst from the surface and Zelu instinctively tried to dive back down. The bars stopped him though, and he was forced to watch the distance between him and the cool, comforting sea grow with each tug of the rope. The crabs scurried about like panicked minnows, occasionally running over Zelu's tail with their sharp feet.

 "C'mon Dale, get those traps up already! We left 'em out long enough!" A booming voice shouted from above, making Zelu's heart jump into his throat.

 "I am pulling them up! Gimmie a minute, this one's heavier than the last one!" A second, even louder voice shouted back. "I think we got a good haul today, eh?"

 The trap lurched upward, swinging dizzily from side to side as the outline of a massive, burly figure in a brown coat heaved it from the water. Zelu caught sight of a strange white contraption, sleek and intimidating. Like the skeleton of a whale, only more smooth and pointy. Kepsy talked about humans having things called 'boats' to travel over water. This, Zelu decided, had to be one.

 At first, he felt pretty excited. He'd never seen a human boat before. But then the humans driving it yelled to each other again, and he was suddenly reminded why this boat was there in the first place.

The crab trap bumped against the hull, prompting a squeak of terror from Zelu, who very quickly clapped his hands over his mouth. Pulled over the side rather jarringly, the Mershark watched as the human seized the trap's roof with a massive gloved hand, pulled open a hidden door Zelu never knew existed, and promptly emptied it into a grimy bucket without a second glance.

  Zelu tumbled out headfirst, landing among a squirming heap of even more crabs, who didn't really look as terrified as he did. How they could be less than mildly irritated about this was beyond him. The bucket felt bigger than the maw of a Megamouth, hard and spiky with a floor that moved and shifted, and massive white walls slicked with seawater.

 "How many d'you reckon we got today? Fifteen?" The burly human said to its companion.

 Trembling, the Mershark looked up as the second gigantic shadow of the day fell over his newfound prison. A face big enough to blot out the sun stared at him, looming over it's catch with mild interest. The light behind it blurred most of the human's features, but he caught a scruffy-looking beard and squared glasses, which the giant raised to its forehead.

 "Well I'll be…" The human murmured, sharp, chocolate eyes widening in apparent shock. "Ain't you the strangest little thing..."

 Zelu gave a strangled hiss in response, flashing his ear and elbow spines threateningly. The beastly thing didn't even flinch. In fact, it actually chuckled.

"Feisty too! Oi Redmond, getcher lazy arse over here!" The human called, beckoning for it's companion with the massive sweep of an arm. "We got ourselves a weird lil stowaway!"

 Zelu flinched at the sudden movement, biting back gasps as his gills struggled to reap oxygen from the air. It wasn't immediately life-threatening, but he needed to get back to water. His gills could only absorb so much water from the humidity. He had about thirty minutes tops before he started to actually suffocate.

 The human leaned in toward the bucket flashing flat white teeth, each one bigger than the Mershark's hand. It could very easily bite him in half, like he was nothing more than a twig instead of a living creature that should be feared. Zelu cowered away, curling his tail inward, trying to keep his body as low, small and spiky as he could get. The crabs below didn't help, constantly shifting and clacking against one another, occasionally pushing him closer to the giant above. He bit back a pained yelp as one managed to clamp down on his tail fin.

"What's it this time? You pick up some shiny junk again?" A second voice practically shrieked from far off to his right. Zelu grimaced, ears flattening against his head at the noise. "I'm telling you, I won't make any more stops at the pawn shop."

 Another sunfish-sized head came into view, this time with a clean face and soggy red hair pulled back in a ponytail. A second pair of hollow eyes, this time seaweed green, stared right through him. One giant was more than enough, but two? The Mershark swallowed the sobs that threatened to creep up his throat. He could practically feel his chances of escape swirl down the drain with each passing minute. They could do whatever they wanted and receive little resistance. Not even Mala could fight out of this one.

"...good lord." The new human breathed, leaning in far too close for Zelu's comfort. He dared a swipe at its nose, but the human pulled back before he could make contact. They both snickered in amusement.

"Ain't it cool?" The bearded one said happily. "Crabs be damned, I call first dibs!"

"D-Dale hold on, we don't have any idea what this thing is! You can't just call dibs on it!" Ponytail replied, looking up at the other. "It could be venomous or something! Look at those spikes!"

"Venomous-Shmenomous, I think it's cool as hell!" Beard crossed it's arms with a pout, which quickly turned to vicious glee. "Where d'you think it came from, eh? New discovery?"

 Zelu pressed his webbed hands to ears in a feeble attempt to block out all the chatter. His captors' booming voices just blended together into one loud roar. His hears rang painfully, each massive sound clanging off the bucket walls like an energized ping-pong ball. As much as it hurt, he had to focus. Find an escape.

  His tail-fin twitched from side to side anxiously as the Mershark scanned the walls of the bucket, searching for anything that would aid his escape. A crack, a small hole, hell even a piece of stray seaweed would do. The crabs around him piled on top of each other, trying to escape with no sense of teamwork. One would almost make it out, only for another to seize it by the leg and drag them both back down, rinse and repeat. Stupid dull creatures. Perhaps he could use them to climb out? While the human's backs were turned?

"I'm sure it ain't venomous, Red. Watch this!"

 Something above him moved, and Zelu looked up to see a massive hand reaching down into the grimy bucket. He shrieked in terror, twisting out of the way just in time for the hand to close around a crab instead, which promptly nipped at fingers almost as long as his tail. The owner swore loudly, waving its hand to shake off the little crustacean. It's companion laughed.

"No offense, but watching you get bit by crabs isn't that impressive."

"Ha, ha." The human said sarcastically, before grabbing at the Mershark again. This time with both hands.

 Despite his best efforts to twist, slash, and dodge, the fingers eventually closed roughly around his trembling form, one set gloved, the other bare. The instant he was grabbed, Zelu was reminded just how small he was compared to these monsters. He was just barely bigger than the crabs, and very easily crushable. There was little the Mershark could do to prevent those gigantic hands from seizing him like some prized salmon and hoisting him up into the air.

 The Mershark cried out pitifully, tears stabbing at his eyes as he watched the bucket fall away. For a moment, he found himself dangled upside down, two of the human's fingers tightly pinching his tail. Shot with a sudden rush of adrenaline, Zelu snarled and thrashed, struggling like a rabid animal, hoping his claws would land on something. The human laughed, before carefully bringing up its other hand to stop his attacks.

 After a moment of uncomfortable shifting and lots of struggling, it got him stuck in a crushing fist, arms pinned to his sides, rendering the Mershark's prime defenses useless. Zelu snapped his head around, forced to look up at his captors with burning eyes. He could barely breathe out of water and the extra pressure from those god-awful hands did nothing to help.

"Got some fight in ya, huh? Ha!" The human boomed, peering at Zelu with an eye almost bigger than his head. "If ya were bigger, I 'spect I'd be flat out on the deck, aye? Lil' rough-skin?"

"Dale, don't tease it."

 The Mershark growled at him and snapped his teeth, but it was more out of sheer terror than anger. The human smirked at it's companion, who leaned in to get a better look. It grabbed at the back of Zelu's head with two fingers, forcing the young pup to look it right in those awful, downright predatory eyes. Just the slightest movement and his head would be ripped from his shoulders. A tear threatened to slip out. Zelu just barely managed to keep it in.

"I don't think I've ever seen something like this in all my years on the water. Could it be a mermaid?"

 The bearded human shrugged, jostling it's prisoner a little. "Mermaids are girls, Red. This one looks like a dude. And I don' think mermaids are this tiny."

 "What makes you think it's not a girl?"

 "Well it's got that short hair, an' it tried to bite me earlier…"

 "Girls do that stuff too, Dale."

 Zelu shook horribly while the giants talked among themselves, fins angled down in clear discomfort. His heart threatened to burst from his ribcage and flop out onto the deck. His gills screamed in starvation, begging for more water to fill them. His tail twitched weakly, blood struggling to circulate under immense pressure. Everything in his body wanted the same thing, and that was to get free or die trying. Zelu didn't really like that last part.

 "D'you think he's cold? Thing's shakin like a leaf."

 "It's probably not used to open air. Ignore it."

 Yeah right, it was the air that made his whole body vibrate like a pre-eruption volcano. Zelu mentally berated himself for being so stupid and breaking the rules, blinking rapidly. He would not cry, no sir, absolutely not.

 But it wasn't like there was no reason to. Only seven years old, just turned, and here he sat. Prisoner to these beasts, struggling for air with no foreseeable way out. Just perfect.

"Though, I wouldn't call it half human. Humanoid, maybe, but not fully half. It's got more of a snout than a nose, see? And the eyes have green stuff instead of white."

 The rough hands around him tightened as the humans altered their grip.

 "It looks pretty young…" Ponytail commented, eyes roaming his exposed belly. Zelu swallowed dryly, trying to ignore the spotty, light-headed feeling that started to overcome him. "I think whatever this thing is, it'll fetch us a hefty price. Much more than some silly old blue crabs."

 The bearded one nodded eagerly, messing around with Zelu's tail. "Them marine biology people would go nuts."

 It released his tail, bringing the hand to poke at his head again. "Hey, d'you think it's got proper sharks' teeth or humanish ones? Or a mixture of both?"

 Zelu no longer thought clearly at this point. Whether it was from fear, lack of breathable oxygen, or just plain instincts, he didn't know. He only saw the massive (ungloved) finger coming directly at his face, inching forward slowly and tauntingly. Like a barracuda preparing to strike. His mind played out scenes of bloody carnage, one after the other.

 Knives slicing down through his stomach, pins holding his guts open, a shock collar around his neck, tags stabbed through his fins, hands passing him around like an expensive fruit, a lonely tank on display in front of hundreds of other humans, a blade coming down to separate his tail from his body, a massive boot smashing him into a bloody stain, his family finding his crushed, discarded skeleton in the crab fields-

 It was all too much.

 Shaking worse than a sea lily caught in a whirlpool, Zelu lunged forward as far as he could go.

"MOTHERF-" The bearded human roared, dropping its prize as tiny, hooked teeth sunk into the flesh of its pointer finger.

 It jumped and flailed like a demented chicken, shouting countless human swears and curses as it tried to shake off the frightened Mershark. Zelu just held on best he could, now-freed venomous claws dug deep into leathery skin, wind howling in his ears. He could hear shrieks of laughter from the ponytail human, who didn't do much to help it's comrade.

He was just a pup though. And his small teeth, combined with the sheer force of being whipped around like a ragdoll at high speed, by a giant, made sure he couldn't hold on forever.

 So with one powerful flick, his teeth tore through the skin, disgusting metallic blood oozed into his mouth, his claws ripped free, and Zelu went flying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 The first thing Zelu felt when he woke was pain. Just pure, throbbing, dull pain. Nothing different whatsoever. His head felt like it was full of watery mud, sloshing about every time he shifted. He'd like to stay lying down right here, thanks. If he didn't move it wouldn't hurt so much.

 But that's not how the world works, so resting out here in the open wasn't an option.

 Zelu did take a few more minutes to relax though. He couldn't remember much from what happened before, but the clean saltwater that flowed freely over his gills definitely helped. Much more soothing than the brackish mix he'd been stuck in before. The Mershark inhaled slowly, relishing in the familiar freshness. The mud in his head dried a little with each deep breath, clearing out the condensation.

  Eventually, Zelu felt comfortable enough to peel open his eyes, only to shut them immediately. Everything was so bright. Questions came to mind pretty quickly, since the beds were never that bright. Did he drift off into the middle of the atlantic? Was he in a coral reef or something? Did Kepsy find him? Was he in Lemon shark territory?

 Holding up a webbed hand, Zelu cracked open his eyes again, squinting in the harsh sunlight. It wasn't all the way around him, just beaming from a large half-circle directly in front of his face, but it was still overwhelming to look at. The water here was so clear. It even held a kind of blue tinge to it, very different from the seaweed beds' usual muted greens. This definitely looked like a reef, only less crowded. He raised his head and blinked to get used to the glare. After a second, his vision cleared a little, and he moved his hands away to stare at his surroundings.

 A small hotdog-shaped fish with brown speckles and bulging eyes stared back at him. Zelu blinked. Whatever he was expecting, it wasn't that. The fish opened and closed its mouth. Then with the flick of an elongated tail, the small fish swam off, stopping a small distance away to nibble at some of the algae that coated the floor.

 A blenny, Zelu thought to himself. Algae eaters. Not very filling.

 Blennies were pretty common in reefs. Pushing himself up on his arms, Zelu winced when his sore elbows rolled over something hard, bending his spines in the wrong direction. The ground felt surprisingly rocky. He looked down to see the floor covered in oddly-colored pebbles. He himself was lying on his stomach in a bed of them. Moving them aside, the pebbles revealed a normal layer of white sand. A thin layer of weird rainbow pebbles over stupidly clean sand? Odd. He expected just sand and mud.

  Zelu moved to float up and swim off, maybe find another Merfolk and ask some questions, only for his head to collide with something hard. Rubbing his forehead, he looked up to see a roof of weird blue stone. Looking around further, Zelu noticed that he was in a small shallow cave. It was just big enough for a family of three Merfolk, completely round like an overturned bowl. Shell-patterned imprints decorated the inside, and his ears just now picked up an odd low hum coming from somewhere above. It vibrated and surrounded him, penetrating his very being with a tone he could barely hear. A small tendril of dread curled around his heart. His shelter looked, sounded, and felt so…artificial.

"Ke….Miss Kepsy? Mother?" He called out, drifting outside the cave mouth. He winced at how weak and shaky his voice sounded. For some strange reason, talking hurt. "Cain? Mala? A-are you guys there?"

 While his eyes struggled to adjust to the light change, Zelu absentmindedly ran a finger over his palm, tracing the lines until it hit something weird. A rough, raw imprint, spreading horizontally through both palms, cutting small rips into the webbing stretched between his fingers. Confused, Zelu held up his hands in front of his face.

 When the heck did I hurt my hands?

 He looked at them for a solid minute, before everything came flooding back.

 The memories. All of them. The memories of Mala's scolding and Cain's disapproving look. The memories of the crab trap and the traitor Mercrab, her sneering grin burning into his eyes. The memories of the thin wire bars, cutting into his palms while he watched a crocodile circle overhead. The memories of the giant humans and the hands around him, crushing and squeezing his life away. Memories of the booming voices and his gills screaming for water, something hard colliding with his head. Memories of the blood in his mouth and sand in his throat, scratching and ripping open his flesh. Very, very faint memories of steamy breath on his face and two freaking eyes just staring at him-

  Zelu had to move. He couldn't stay here, no matter how much his aching muscles protested. With an aggressive flick of a tail, he shot out of the tiny cave, out into open water. The light burned his eyes, hidden wounds stung, and his head hurt worse than before, but he didn't care. Colorful plants and weird statues flew past his line of sight, melding into a multicolored blur. Zelu just kept swimming. He needed to find his mother, he needed to warn his siblings, he had to get back home before something bad happens to them-

 ...only for an invisible barrier to slam right into his face with an awful crunch, stopping the frightened Mershark dead in his tracks.

 "SHIT-"

  Zelu's hands came up to clutch his face, fresh agony blossoming from his nose. It didn't feel broken and there wasn't any blood, but damn the seven seas it hurt. He drifted away from the barrier, almost tearful green eyes frantically flicking around. What did he just run into? Did something graze him and swim off?

 Zelu reached out a hand, feeling the water for whatever stopped his flight. His claws met an invisible wall, and once the shock cleared from his vision, the Mershark noticed a slight smudge where his face made contact. What was this thing? Glass? He spun around, still clutching his nose. The light no longer blinded him as harshly, giving the Mershark a good view of his surroundings.

  Where the heck am I?

 To his left, a white and yellow Butterfly fish gave him an irritated look from its perch under a rocky, red arch. The Blenny from before continued it's algae purge, pushing past Zelu without a care in the world. Like he, a clear predator, didn't exist. Above his weird blue cave, two Clownfish peeked out at the new visitor from a porous rock formation. Red and green plants sat suspended in the water, but did not move with the current.

Actually, Zelu couldn't even feel a current. The water felt eerily still.

 A weird silly-looking great-white shark statue decorated the pebble bed, accompanied by what looked like an anchor and a gold-toothed skull. The humming source, which sat near the surface, turned out to be a strange waterfall-making machine that churned up the water for no clear reason.

 This wasn't a reef. Not a branch of coral in sight.

 Zelu could feel his spines raise in alarm. Now that he could see better, the Mershark noticed that there was not just one glass barrier, but four. Four massive see-through walls, trapping him in a rectangular box with four other fish. Above, a big black lid shut them all in, weird blue-tinged light tubes casting a soft glow over everything underneath.

 Through the glass, Zelu could see a room. Only this room held weird furniture and was hundreds of times bigger than his own den. One glass-filled window on each wall, a pair of simple desks (one in front and the other set on his left side), an ugly red-white flower patterned carpet spread out over the floor, and a small closed doorway set to his far right. For a room, it looked pretty small and empty, lots of open space in the middle, punctuated only by a scattering of strange, four-legged table-things with a tall plank of wood stuck up on only one side. The thing Zelu was currently stuck in sat atop another desk, pushed up against the wall so he could only look at things directly in front of him.

  He…he was trapped.

  No Cain, no Mala, no Miss Kepsy, no Mother. Not even a crab from before. He was trapped, all on his own.

  Zelu's trembling hands fell from his face. His fins twitched erratically as his mouth opened and closed like a dying fish, inhaling almost way too much water for his gills to process. The Mershark ran his hands over his face, pulling at his hair in panic. The pain in his skin came crawling back in the thousands, the adrenaline rush from before having petered out. The ghosts of many sand particles scratched and tore through his gills and throat. A sharp copper tang itched at his tongue.

  Everything felt so sore and achy. His head offered a startlingly good impression of a sinkhole caving in. Stinging wounds lined his torso and tail like Tiger shark stripes, invisible, but still there. Overall, he just felt gross. He felt violated, he felt exposed, for Megalo's sake he felt half dead.

 And to top it all off, Zelu was trapped. The humans, they had dragged him from the sea, tortured him, grabbed at his body, thrown him to the land, and stuck him in this cage. In this horrible tank, put on display for all to see. He would be kept as a pet or studied. Hell, he might even be cooked and eaten. Nothing more than extra calories, fried and seasoned with some random assortment of vegetables. He truly had no idea what humans really did and didn't do, but Zelu knew what humans did do to most of the things they stole from the sea. He'd heard all the stories, told to him by wide-eyed Merfolk riddled with scars.

 Unfortunately, stuck in the midst of his panicking overactive imagination, Zelu failed to hear the rhythmic booming of giant footsteps coming his way. He didn't see the doorway open and close with a muted 'click'. He didn't even notice the approaching human, far too absorbed in his own thoughts, until it leaned down to peer through the smudged glass, burning hollow eyes staring at the Mershark like a cut of fresh meat. He turned his head, ready to bolt somewhere and hide, only to lock eyes with a freaking giant of all things.

 Struck with a crippling sense of Déjà Vu, Zelu's body froze up against his will. His breath hitched and his skin went completely numb. He swore the glass walls started shaking by themselves.

 For several long minutes, Zelu and the human studied each other, Zelu out of shot-up terror, the human in barely concealed wonder. This human looked very odd compared to the other two who'd stolen and maimed him. It had pure-white hair that stuck to its head like a pulled-apart cotton ball, and bone-pale skin smeared with some weird white ointment. Round glasses sat upon a bandaged nose, magnifying them to a point where it reminded Zelu of the eyes of a swordfish. Its irises looked like great blue fish scales, glinting coldly in the flickering glow of the tank, the black void in the center shrinking and growing with changes in light. The worst part was its hands. Two huge hands made for grabbing and crushing, resting almost mockingly on the table in front of the tank. The human very suddenly bared its flat, spine-snapping teeth, lips twitching upward in a terrifying grin.

 "H-Hey there, little buddy."

 The words sounded slightly muffled through the water, but the human's voice was loud enough for anyone to understand. Zelu flinched away at the noise, mouth moving wordlessly. The human tilted its head, some sick impersonation of sympathy spreading over it's massive face.

 "O-oh, right. Sorry." It whispered, holding up a hand to its mouth in what Zelu knew was mock embarrassment. "I must be really loud to you, huh?"

 No response from the Mershark. Not that he could say anything. Zelu felt completely paralyzed. That pesky adrenaline returned, granting him the ability to hear every tiny noise around him; The humming from the tank, the small swirling swishes of water being shifted, the giant monster's heavy, clearly excited heartbeat thrumming through the table, the sound of massive lungs sucking in and expelling gallons of air….it all felt a billion times louder. Too bad all those heightened senses would go to waste.

 "S-so um, I think introductions are in order, yeah?" The human said quietly. "M-my name's Phelix. With a P-H instead of an F. I sort of...rescued you? From the b-beach?"

'Phelix' offered a small, embarrassed smile. Or was it a sneer? Zelu couldn't tell.

"I-I mean, I found you half-stuck in the sand looking like you just went through a hurricane, so um...I'm sorry if you don't like touching, but I uh...kind of had to d-dig you up and carry you back here..."

 Once again, the Mershark found he couldn't respond. His mouth just gaped uselessly, shivering body making small ripples in the water above him. The human touched him? It picked him up? And probably did all sorts of unspeakable things? Without Zelu knowing?

Spotting the devastated look on its captive's face, 'Phelix' frowned.

 "L-Look, I apologized, right? A-And I fixed you up too!" It pointed a massive finger at Zelu's chest. The Mershark's eyes flicked down, hands coming up to feel what he thought was going to be a collar or vest, something put on him to restrain his movements, but instead he touched a thin layer of sea-soaked softness. His claws ran over long strips of cloth, wrapped around him from head to tail.

'Are these…bandages?' He thought, tugging at one of the looser strips. 'What the hell…'

The white cloth wrapped tightly around his chest, around his arms, and around parts of his tail, some spots holding little blotches of crimson. The whole ordeal was confusing, to say the least. But Zelu didn't let his guard down just yet. The bandages could be part of a larger scheme, one step of many.

"W-We should be okay now, right? You have a name, little buddy?"

 Zelu blinked at it, eyes going back to the original size of wide and terrified. His spines instinctively flared up as if challenging the giant to make a move.

 "Okay, you d-don't want to tell me, that's fine... What about a nickname? C-Can I call you something other than fish-boy?" The giant paused. "...Can...can you even understand me?"

 Of course he could understand, Zelu wasn't stupid. Human languages and Merfolk languages were mostly one and the same, outside of the deep waters. Deepwater Merfolk talked in light flashes, hand signs, and click/growl/warble combos, if he remembered anything from Kepsy's lessons. He just didn't feel like letting the human know any of that.

 "...okay, probably a no on that….I'll keep calling you little b-buddy for now. What about S-Spike though? For a nickname? B-Because of all those spikes." The human gave a short laugh, loud vibrations shaking the tank violently. Well not really, but it certainly felt like it. "Nah, that's a horrible n-nickname…what about....Urchin?"

 Zelu let out a pained wheeze, ears drooping. He considered giving the human his name just so it wouldn't call him something dreadful. Anything's better than a horrible pet name. He ended up shoving that train of thought off the rails before it left the station.

 What if names held some sort of power on the surface land, and giving it to one would give the human complete control? Not like Zelu had control over anything at the moment, but he didn't feel like taking that chance. So he made the decision to remain frozen in the water. Maybe humans could only see things that moved.

"Augh….p-please don't give me that look. You don't have to be afraid, little b-buddy! I just want t-to help you."

 Help him? How? Zelu didn't need help, he was perfectly fine, thank you very much. He knew this human was obviously lying in order to make him stick around for whatever it had planned. He wasn't going to fall for that trick.

 "...a-and before you start shouting about how you d-d-don't need help, lemme tell you this. I found you almost fifteen feet away from the water. You were covered in bruises and sand, and you were choking on your own b-blood." The human leaned back, crossing its arms with a fake-worried frown.

"S-so as much as I hate to say this, you aren't le-leaving until I'm sure you're a h-hundred percent okay."

Something inside Zelu snapped.

 With a pathetic squeal, the Mershark shot across the tank and dove right back into his tiny cave, leaving nothing but bubbles in his wake. He ignored the burning pain that spread over his torso and tail like a rash. That could be dealt with later.

 Heaving with barely-hidden sobs, the Mershark hunkered down in the back of the blue-rock cave, the salt from his tears mixing with the water around him. The human had practically spelled out his death. He was stuck here under the ruse that he was injured, which to be fair, was kind of slightly true, but who gave a shit?

 His eyes couldn't really focus anymore and his body hurt so much. The bandages weighed hundreds of pounds against his skin, stinging when he tried to pull them off, wisps of blood swirling out when his open wounds lost their wrappings. His head hurt, his tail hurt, his eyes hurt, his arms hurt, his gills hurt, heck everything hurt and he hated it.

 So much for not crying…

 The human merely stood up and moved around to stare at him again, head tilted in confusion and disappointment, this time from the square end of the glass.

"...dammit….." He heard the human mutter, pinching the bridge of its nose under its glasses. ".... amazing j-job, Phelix….you m-made things s-so much better…..jesus christ...."

 Oh Megalo, he'd made it mad. It could reach in at any moment and pluck him from the water like a dead goldfish. And he (probably) wouldn't be able to do a thing. Nowhere to run and very few places to hide. He pushed the pebbles underneath him aside, making a small circle of sand for him to lie in.

 Zelu curled his body in a tight U-shape, chest to the floor, hands planted firmly in the sand, elbows splayed out to set his venomous spines in a clear display of angry defiance. His fins pressed themselves flat against his head, the smaller spines above them poking up like antennae. Zelu bared his teeth and snarled as loud as he could, prompting his captor to glance up.

 If the human wanted it's pet to cooperate, it'd have to drag him out itself. And Zelu wasn't going without a fight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Except the anticipated 'fight' never came.

 After the initial first contact, which Zelu now knew took place in the middle of the night, nothing happened. No threats, no extra humans with blades or nets, no hands trying to grab at him. Zelu actually found himself regretting his stubbornness, for Meg's sake.

 After two days without danger, the cave had started to feel cramped and dull. Zelu fidgeted constantly, moving, stacking and rearranging the pebbles around his 'kill circle'. He doodled in the sand. The humming of the tank became oddly soothing over time, as weird as that sounded. His fish neighbors never bothered him, though the clownfish sometimes came around for a visit, only to find themselves driven away by loud growling. Through it all, Zelu almost never left his spot.

  As for the human…

  The human didn't act at all like he expected. It made no move whatsoever to grab him or drag him out of the tiny cave. It didn't even stick a hand in the water. It just….watched him. And existed near him, sometimes staring at a strange silver rectangle, sometimes just sitting around or writing on a weird white sheet. This went on for several sun cycles, end to end.

 Occasionally 'Phelix' would disappear, leaving the Mershark all on his own. Almost like clockwork it'd leave with a simple 'goodbye' to him, and then come back hours later to announce it's return, before vanishing into a separate room. Zelu took that time to wander around the tank and look for a plausible escape route. He never found anything of use.

  Sometimes the human never left. Sometimes it just walked around the house, talking absentmindedly about whatever it was doing at the moment. The Mershark never left his hiding spot during this time. He was far too worried about what would happen if he did that. Although when the human wasn't walking around or writing or leaving to do whatever, it did the strangest things.

  Instead of interrogating or torturing him like he expected, 'Phelix' would try to make conversation, even if it was met with complete silence every time. It would talk about what happened during its day. It would talk about random human things like 'horror movies' and 'anime', whatever those were. Sometimes the conversation went directly at Zelu himself, questions about who he was, where he came from, how was he doing, those kinds of things. Other times the topic of discussion went to something completely random.

 "I found a c-cool rock today! It looked like a rainbow, so I thought you'd find it p-pretty!"

 "Do you eat seaweed or just meat? My p-parents always said seaweed was like, a 'superfood', or something along those lines."

 "Are there more of you in the river? You d-don't have to answer, I'm just curious!"

 "I've always w-wondered….how do magnets work?"

 "Those spines look s-super sharp for a shark. Are you a dogfish? I read somewhere that there's a kind of d-dogfish with spines."

 "My sister Sara gave me a call yesterday. She's having t-trouble with finals again, i-if you know what those are. Might c-come around sometime."

 "You should eat what I g-give you. Going that long without food can't b-be good for someone of your size-"

 "I really like plants. They aren't l-loud and can't judge you, y'know? Super chill when you need them to be. You k-kinda remind me of a plant sometimes, minus the no-judging part."

  Zelu never answered, though he did react to some things by narrowing his eyes or blowing bubbles at the right times. He made sure it seemed entirely random so the human never knew he could understand what it said. Once, it offered to change his bandages, but Zelu shut that down with an angry hiss. Surprisingly, the human didn't press any further than that, even though it was clear the greying cloth was starting to fall away.

  After their one-sided chat, the human would drop in some chunk of meat or fish alongside a farewell. Zelu never touched them. He wasn't some pet, he didn't want to be treated and fed like one, ignoring how his outraged stomach protested. Even if they weren't poisoned or drugged, he didn't trust anything the human gave him. He made the decision to just stay put. He could survive on stored fat and stored fat alone, even if he didn't eat for many, many sun cycles.

 The untouched food started to pile up and rot as the nights passed. The neighboring fish sometimes pecked at it, but their efforts barely made a dent.

 The whole time, his human captor kept up the 'nervous' charade, always stuttering or apologizing about something. It never raised its voice, nor did it stomp around like giants were supposed to. In fact, whenever it entered the room, it slowed down and lowered it's tone drastically.

 Zelu despised those actions. All that tip-toeing and fake-casualty made him want to grow fifteen sizes and punch the damn thing right in the face. It treated him like some fragile seashell instead of a tough-as-nails shark. He wouldn't break if the giant breathed wrong, so why couldn't it stop acting like he would? The Mershark actually found himself constantly hoping for the other shoe to drop, but it never came. The darn thing had been falling for about six sun-cycles now, and he hated it. Any longer and Zelu'd end up forcing it down.

 Today was different.

 After returning from many hours of vanishment, 'Phelix' sat down in front of the tank with a less than pleased expression on its face. It stared at the glass for a few minutes, eyes hard, not uttering a single weird question or odd attempt at conversation.

 The Mershark tensed up, spines flared, eyes wide and daring. His mind rang with more-than-frantic alarm bells.

  Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

 He quietly stifled a roar from his stomach, keeping his head low. Did he do something to upset it? Oh Meg it was probably the conversations, he should have tried to respond to those...

The human offered no more than an exasperated sigh. Zelu flinched, expecting an attack, but it simply took off its glasses to rub at its eyes. He just now noticed that it was wearing rubber gloves.

 "L-Look, I didn't want t-to bring this up, but…" 'Phelix' leaned forward, clasping its hands in front of its face. Its gaze flicked over to stare directly into the blue cave, burning glacier eyes cutting through the water. Zelu shrank away at the sudden attention. "You haven't been eating. You d-didn't eat anything I g-gave you, and I-It's….it's been almost a week since I f-found you!"

 "You haven't even l-left that cave! Little buddy, I can't j-just...let you s-starve yourself like that..!" It brought a gloved hand up to the tank, showing the Mershark a rough cube of raw tuna pinched between it's fingers. "Listen, I've worked with s-sea creatures before.….what I'm a-asking is....p-please don't get mad at me for this."

 'Phelix' rolled up it's sleeves with a queasy look on its face. Zelu didn't like at all where this was going.

 With one swift motion, the human flipped up the aquarium lid and lowered a gloved hand into the water, creeping slowly toward the Mershark's shelter. Zelu squeaked in terror, pushing himself as far away as possible. His back hit the fake-rock wall and he pressed himself into it, willing the solid surface to just open up and absorb him.

  The shoe had finally hit the ground and the impact split open the earth beneath it. He'd done something wrong. He didn't eat what he was given. He didn't speak when spoken to. His human captor had finally decided to get rid of its defective pet. He'd be eaten, sold, or simply crushed into a bloody pulp.

  There is nothing you can do.

  Firm fingers wrapped around him like the tentacles of a giant squid, pulling Zelu to its beak, ready to snap him in two. The Mershark was too weak to properly fight back, but he still struggled hopelessly against the human's hold. He raked his claws over the hand, biting and beating it as hard as he could.

 It didn't even make a dent.

 There was no skin to slice, no flesh to bite and claw. Just solid rubber armor.

 You are going to die.

 "I-I know, I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-'' The giant murmured as Zelu's fighting went from frantic to downright pitiful. "It's okay, j-just calm down. I'm not going to h-hurt you..."

 It pulled the Mershark from the blue-shelled cave. The other fish in the tank hid behind whatever was closest. Zelu felt his vision go spotty. Everything was too bright and loud, it made his head hurt bad. He'd give anything to go back to his dark cave where he was left alone.

 But like usual, Zelu didn't have much of a choice. The hand-prison stopped just under the surface of the water, the human's second hand coming in to presumably twist his head from his shoulders. The Mershark cried out and jerked his shoulders violently in a weak attempt to escape. He snapped his teeth at the approaching digits. He'd bite a thousand fingers to get free, no matter what consequences follow.

  "Oh geez, li-little buddy it's okay! I-I'm seriously not g-gonna hurt you! Really!" The human turned it's free hand palm-up, showing the chunk of tuna. "I-I just want to make sure you eat something, that's all! P-please calm down! You're perfectly safe!"

  Zelu snapped his head around, shooting 'Phelix' a disbelieving glare. He immediately regretted it when his head throbbed even more painfully at the sudden motion. Pinching the tuna in two fingers, the human held it in front of the Mershark's face.

 "C-c'mon, I need you to eat. I d-don't even know how you're even alive at this point." 'Phelix' replied, pushing the fish closer to his face for emphasis. "I swear I-It's not poisoned or anything. I read that d-dogfish like tuna, so this shouldn't be a preference thing."

 Zelu made sure his mouth stayed shut, lips firmly pressed together in a quivering line. He shook his head in a violent 'no', eyes squeezed shut, trying to ignore the pain and lightheadedness that came with. He could feel soggy fish bump against his face. The Mershark avoided it like a fussy toddler refusing dinner. He couldn't eat from a human's hand no matter how starved he was. His pride wouldn't be able to survive such a blow.

"C-c'mon, please work with me…." The human muttered in a pleading voice. "I-I really, really don't w-want to force y-you more than I am n-now! P-please, just-"

 The tuna bumped against his face again, with a little more force. Zelu snarled and snapped at the hand behind it. "-work with me?"

 The hand surrounding the Mershark started to shake. The tuna stopped assaulting his face, but it's scent still lingered in the water. Zelu snorted, fully prepared to try and fight his way out, but his own body said otherwise. His stomach cursed him for refusing such easy food, making sure the next hungry growl came with a full-body ache as punishment. Zelu pressed his heated face into the giant's rubber thumb, biting back horrible groans of agony as he continued to shake his head. He didn't even know who or what he was refusing anymore. His fins and shoulders twitched and shuddered, betraying the clear burning pain that festered in his starving gut.

 You know what.

 Zelu raised his head slightly.

 Screw the rules.

 Screw the rules. He needed food. He needed that tuna. Humans and pride be damned, he needed something.

 The human wasn't crushing him, and it kept saying it wasn't going to hurt him….so perhaps…for once, it was safe..? That reasoning went against everything Zelu had been taught, but it was clear that if he didn't accept the giant's offer, it'd probably start using real force...

 Zelu cracked open an eye, turning his cheek to the rubber floor. The free hand was withdrawing from the aquarium, taking the slightly soggy meat with it.

 "WAIT!" The Mershark cried suddenly, head snapping to the side. His rubber prison flinched at the outburst, squeezing Zelu just a little too tight for a split second. "ST-STOP! I-I'LL EAT IT! J-JUST-"

 Zelu's voice dissolved into a harsh sob, hands clenching into fists as he turned to face the human that called itself Phelix, giving it a one-eyed glare that admittedly looked more like a leaky stare.

 The human looked….well, to be blunt, it looked awful. Its face was twisted in a pained grimace, head leaning away from the aquarium like holding a five-inch Merfolk pup hostage was the worst possible thing in the world. Heck, 'Phelix' looked on the verge of crying, fat tears hanging on by a thread behind those round glasses. It was incredibly surreal, to see such a giant apex predator so distressed.

 Zelu swallowed. As horrible as it looked, he'd cut himself off and the human was clearly expecting an answer, lest he make it angry. Filling his gills with fresher water, he gave 'Phelix' a pointed glare, trying incredibly hard to keep eye contact without screaming. "...p-please let me go. Please."

 The human did nothing for a moment, then nodded without a word. The gloved fingers opened and pulled back, releasing the Mershark into open water. Zelu frantically patted himself down to make sure nothing was broken, trying to ignore the sick feeling that washed over when his claws grazed over his well-defined ribs. Even under the wrappings he was clearly  malnourished. Zelu found nothing new and exhaled some bubbles in a sigh of relief, quietly cursing his own stubbornness.

 The exposed ribs and burning pain that came with his hunger wasn't the worst part. The worst part, well, it was the fact that the human had listened to Zelu. It made absolutely no sense. Predators don't listen to their prey, he knew from experience. But for some reason this one did. It stared at him with those huge, awful, sad blue eyes, listened to his embarrassing pleas for release, and actually let him go. Not a shred of malice or ill intent anywhere.

 Another hand appeared in the corner of his vision. For a split second, pure panic seized the reins of his mind. The Mershark whirled out of the way, fins flared, spines up, claws ready to slice open human flesh, as futile as that attempt might be. Leave it to a giant villainous beast to deal such a low blow, striking from behind, he never should have paused-

 Only the hand didn't grab at him. It didn't even get close. Instead, it stopped a good distance away from him, palm up, presenting that little chunk of tuna like an offering.

 "...N-now can you eat?" He heard Phelix ask in a low tone, huge voice cracking right down the middle. It was astonishing how terrified it sounded. ".....pl-please..?"

 Zelu contemplated turning right around, tucking himself away in his cave, and burying his shattered pride under the multicolored pebbles. Every sane instinct inside him shrieked at him to run or hide. The only part that didn't say 'get the heck out of there' was his need for actual food.

 So Zelu, cursing himself all the way, so tense his bones felt like snapping under the pressure, slowly dragged himself toward the open hand.

  He stopped in front of it, hands clutched at his chest, claws fiddling with the loose bandages. The Mershark shot a look at 'Phelix'. The human still looked pretty distraught, but a more hopeful gleam had appeared in its eyes. It stared at him in awe, mixed wonder and apprehensiveness and regret dancing about in its features. Zelu started shivering again. He didn't like the way those eyes locked on to him. Like it saw something rare and worthy of keeping.

 "Can you….look away?" He tried shakily. "I-I don't…like being watched…."

 This was pushing it. He was in no place to make demands. Zelu fully expected the human to refuse and drop this stupid 'i'm so scared or you' act. That's how things should be. Humans were the top predators of the surface, able to take down even the strongest of Merfolk with their cunning brutality and evil ingenuity. He's seen the scars and he's heard the stories, why can't this stupid human stop stalling and do whatever its planning on doing?

 "Hm? Oh, oh sure. S-Sorry." The human replied with a nod, turning its head to the side. Its arm remained in the tank, bent at an awkward angle. "T-take as long as you want."

 Zelu nodded back, though it was more for himself than anything. What was wrong with this monster? Humans didn't have emotions, everyone knew that. Did he happen to get captured by a mutant? Why the hell wasn't it maiming him right now?

  The Mershark willed his nerves to calm down and stop shaking (a futile effort). He turned to stare at the human's hand. More than anything it looked like an open bear trap, baited and set. He'd seen a few of them rusting away on the ocean floor, among tons of other human garbage. The fingers curled slightly inward, every line in that palm defined and etched into thin rubber, the points of squared fingernails poking through at the fingertips. Every so often, a digit would twitch, itching to bend inward and close into a full fist. The tuna rested in the crook of its middle three fingers. A clear trap from any sane Merfolk's perspective.

  Zelu outstretched a shaky arm, reaching for the food as carefully as possible. He shouldn't be doing this. He was swimming in poisoned waters. He shouldn't trust a human. He can't. As he's said before, It was against everything he was taught, completely against the way he was raised. His mother would kill him for being in this situation in the first place.

 But through it all, his stomach won the battle. He only saw the tuna, in all its savory glory. With all the courage he could muster, Zelu shut his eyes and lunged, arms outstretched. His claws groped blindly for the food, brushing against smooth, thick rubber for a split second, before sinking into his slightly soggy target. Zelu yanked it from its perch in the center and bolted, clutching his prize to his chest in a mad dash for shelter.

 Go go go go go get out of there get OUT OF THERE-

 He hit the cave wall head-on, but he didn't care. Headaches were the norm at this point. Zelu didn't even turn to check if he was being followed. The second the tank lights dimmed and the roof passed over him, the Mershark tore into the tuna with reckless abandon.

 And it tasted so damn good.

 Even if it was just soggy, unseasoned fish meat, to Zelu it tasted like the food of the gods. He bit off massive chunk after massive chunk, not even trying to chew as he forced it all down. Flecks of uneaten fish floated around him like snowflakes. His gut offered no more than a pleased gurgle. It probably looked disgusting and was completely undignified, but who cares about that? Who cares about anything? This was the most important thing right now and it's getting all of his attention.

 Zelu ended up finishing in record time. He didn't know just how big that tuna chunk was until he found himself stuffed to the gills, a sizable portion still left in his claws. If Cain was here, he'd be shaking his head at the pup's clear disregard for manners.

'Sharks should be dignified. We aren't complete animals.' Zelu thought he would say, translated from a simple eyebrow-raise-eye-roll-small-frown combo. 'How many times do I have to tell you this?'

 Well Cain can take his 'manners' and shove it up his nose. He should try being captured by giant land-walking predators and starved for practically a whole week. (Although Zelu would never admit the starving part was partially his fault. Who could blame him? Kepsy said humans took and used drugs daily, that all could have been poisoned)

 The Mershark looked down at the remaining tuna in his hands. Something nasty sank into his gut.

 Could…could it have been poisoned? Did the human just…change tactics? Did it decide to force it's toxins into his system, using Zelu's stubbornness against him? Human drugs could do anything and this absolute clam-brain of a shark just downed the whole thing in one go. He essentially drank a whole bottle of poison without thinking.

 Was he going to throw it all up, organs and blood coming with it? Was he going to rot from the inside out? Was he going to pass out and never wake up? Was his body going to seize up in complete paralysis? Were his gills going to stop working? Was his entire organ system going to shut down? Was he going to go mad and start tearing himself to pieces? Was he going to be struck with a horrible rash that burned him on the inside until he succumbed to death’s feather-light grip?

 Zelu looked over his shoulder at the tank outside his shelter. The room had darkened considerably, the sun having left the sky ages ago, leaving the tank as the only real source of light. 'Phelix' was still sitting at the table, face in its hands, light bouncing off its discarded glasses, which dangled from two twitchy fingers. A sign of clear distress, seen mostly in tired old neighbors or depressed travelers who had no meaning left in their lives.

 He shuddered. Zelu couldn't get over how normal it looked, if you could call anything around here normal.

 The Blenny from before swam in agitated circles, but that was just because it apparently lived in the blue cave Zelu called 'home'. The butterfly fish was doing laps around the fake plants, and one of the clownfish had left its rock. It floated just inside the cave mouth, looking far too innocent for a fish. Heck, clownfish liked to bite, Zelu knew from experience, they had no right to look like that.

 "Am I going to die?" Zelu asked it, turning his body slightly. Morbid question, but he had to say to someone.

 The clownfish didn't respond. How could it? Clownfish couldn't talk. He shouldn't be asking a stupid fish about these things, much less another captured pet. He probably already knew the answer anyway.

 The clownfish hovered for a few long seconds, before swimming right on in without a care in the world. It ambled around the Mershark sucking up the discarded flecks of tuna, cleaning up the remains Zelu's mess. Then it stopped to face him, little black eyes staring right into his very soul. Like it wanted something.

Zelu tilted his head.

The clownfish tilted its whole body.

Zelu tilted his head the other way.

The clownfish tilted its whole body the other way.

The Mershark frowned.

 "You're a weird fish, you know that?" He said. "That was probably poison and you just sucked it all up."

 The clownfish yawned as if to say 'I don't care'. It looked down at the remaining tuna in his hands. Zelu blinked in confusion, before the realization of what exactly it wanted hit him. He smirked.

 "Oh, you want the rest of this?"

 The clownfish burped a bubble.

 "Well too bad. It's mine, poison or no poison. Fuck off."

 Apparently that was the wrong answer. The clownfish darted forward and clamped it's tiny teeth down on the tuna, tail pumping in an attempt to shove Zelu out of the way. Zelu yelped and tugged his precious food back, swatting at the orange menace. He and the clownfish wrestled with the rations, Zelu hissing and swiping at it with venomous claws, the clownfish refusing to let go and somehow dodging every attack. Zelu didn't realize their fight had left the cave until a booming voice scared them both into freezing.

 "Mason! S-stop fighting with little buddy!" 'Phelix' snapped, despite still looking like someone just killed its brother. Zelu tensed up at the bite in the human's tone. "I f-fed you earlier and that's j-just for him, okay? No stealing."

 The clownfish made one more attempt at jerking the fish from the Mershark's hands, before giving up and swimming off to the red rock, where the other clownfish waited. Zelu stuffed the tuna into his mouth, glancing up at the human with a raised eyebrow. He felt he should be more scared (the human looked terrifying at night, something about how massive silhouettes could scare the living daylights out of anyone with half a brain), but newfound food had kind of taken the edge off things. 'Phelix' sighed, clouding up the glass a little.

 "You alright?"

 Zelu chewed. The human leaned back in its chair.

 "S-so." It muttered quietly, pulling off the (now damp) rubber gloves one finger at a time. "You….you can understand me? A-And you can talk, too?"

 Zelu hesitated, swallowing. He pulled the tuna from his jaws, hooked teeth tearing small lines in its surface. Perhaps he should think this through. He'd been hiding for days and nothing happened, so maybe he should…..try and break that tradition? As much as he hated to admit, 'Phelix' was pulling possibly the worst pair of pup eyes imaginable without even knowing it. It could be intentional, to lower his guard, but since when had he been correct about this human? Ever? This was probably too fast, for him to try and give the human any information at all.

 But Zelu nodded anyway. To hell with thinking things through.

 "...a-and you've been able to this entire time?"

 Another nod.

 And the human broke down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 To call that reaction startling would be a complete understatement.

 The split second after Zelu nodded, the human had made a weird strangled 'oh' noise and buried its face in its hands. The table shook as the giant started to actually sob, taking great, shuddering breaths between frantic apologies and curses. Zelu cringed away, dropping his tuna with a hiss of surprise, spines raising at the sudden movement.

 "Oh jesus, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry-" It sniffled, looking up at the spooked Mershark in front of it. Small streams of tears flowed freely down its face. "Th-this whole t-t-time I've b-been treating you like a…l-like a…...god I'm so sorry, I'm such a freaking m-mo-mor-moron!"

 Zelu wasn't quite sure how to react. 'Phelix' just started…..crying out of nowhere. Slumped over on the table, face hidden in gargantuan arms, muttering so many apologies it just didn't feel right. The Mershark shifted uncomfortably, picking at his bandages. He decided he didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit. He kind of wanted it to stop. This wasn't correct at all, it didn't make any sense whatsoever. Humans didn't cry, they couldn't. The stories spoke of them killing without remorse and loving without a heart. This both looked and felt wrong.

 As insane as it was, Zelu needed to stop it. What else did he have to lose at this point, anyway? The human made it clear he wasn't leaving, so he'd probably die eventually.

 Might as well use his last living moments doing what he did best. What was that, you might ask? Simple, it's causing trouble and being a general ass to everyone he didn't fully know.

 Zelu raised a shaky hand and rapped loudly on the glass wall. The human looked up at him from behind its arms, watery eyes wide and questioning. Newfound bravery (or was it stupidity?) took over the wheel as Zelu crossed his own arms, clearing his throat with a hardened look.

 "S-stop it." The Mershark announced, voice coming out higher than he wanted. He mentally cursed the small stutter at the beginning. "Stop doing that."

 The human sniffled and shrank away, still opting to hide behind its impossibly long limbs. Zelu took that moment to continue.

 "Stop crying." He demanded. "It's annoying and I don't like it. So stop."

 'Phelix' quirked an eyebrow, massive head rising from the wall of pale flesh made by its arms. It tilted its head to one side, before shaking it, cotton all hair spilling everywhere. The human ran its long fingers over its face in a vain attempt to stop the downpour and straighten out the sorry sight.

 "S-sorry...I d-do that sometimes…." It rasped, taking off its glasses to wipe away the still-oozing tears. Good lord, did this thing just swallow a bucket of sand? Its voice sounded awful. "Just…..f-feeling really bad r-right now…..."

 "About what?" Zelu asked. He made sure his voice sounded hard and irritated. As stunned as his inner self was, there was a possibility the human could be intimidated, even if that possibility went well into the negatives.

 "Y'know….. everything? G-grabbing you like that, tr-trying to f-force you to eat, p-pretty much k-kidnapping you f-from the beach….." 'Phelix' took in a massive shuddering breath, looking up at the ceiling. "I-I'm super, super sorry about a-all that…..I lied b-before, I really d-don't know how t-to handle tiny creatures…."

 The human slumped over on the table with a booming thunk, shaking everything and making Zelu instinctively back away. It pushed its glasses up onto its forehead, eyes glued to the brown wooden surface. A few late tears quietly rolled down its cheeks, sinking into the algae-green fabric of whatever kind of armor it was wearing.

 "I messed up. I j-just wanted t-to help, and I messed up. You have every right to b-be scared and h-hate me."

 Zelu snorted a cloud of bubbles. "Y-Yeah, that was a major double-dick jerk move. You giant brutes have n-no manners."

 Complete silence. Crap. He messed up. That had to be possibly the worst thing to say right now.

There's no way I'm avoiding an early death. If I survive this then I'm gonna eat Mala's stuffed sea sponge.

 " 's rude...." He heard 'Phelix' murmur. "....J-Justified, but st-still rude…"

Well shit. No turning back now.

 "I-I can be as rude as I want. You weren't the one who almost got crushed to death by a lying bone-faced oaf."

 'Phelix' winced, but made no move to respond. It stayed like that for a good five minutes, an occasional sniffle or sigh puncturing the thick silence. After a moment, its eyes started to drift shut.

 Zelu rapped on the glass again to get its attention. He didn't know what the hell he was doing, but his mind had thrown on autopilot and manual control couldn't take back the controls. "Oi, broken nose, i'm not done with you. No…No falling asleep in a pit of your own self hatred."

 The human sat up a fraction of an inch, lifting its head to stare at the tiny form before it. The Mershark tried to ignore the pang of terror that struck him when those tired glacial eyes locked into his own wide emeralds. He was definitely pushing it. The small request from before was a finger dip, this was diving in without thinking.

 Yet Phelix didn't look angry like he expected. They didn't even look mildly annoyed.

  Phelix's entire front was clearly lit up by the fish tank's soft blue light, their outline melding with the shadows of the room. The turquoise eyes still swam with old tears, dark gouges resting under the eyes like shadowy swings. Those thick glasses shone so clearly in the glow, Zelu could see his own warped reflection. A halo of red burned around them like a mask, blotches of pink spilling over the rest of their gargantuan face, a thick droplet of snot hanging by a thread from their left nostril. The soggy bandage on their nose curled up at the ends, and their gnawed-raw lips parted slightly, revealing a very noticeable gap between the yellowing stone squares they called teeth.

 "...eugh. On second thought, maybe don't look up." Zelu added under his breath. The human didn't hear.

For the second time in a row, Phelix looked dreadful. Clearly this wasn't the first time it had gotten upset. If he didn't know better, Zelu'd think it had been worrying and losing sleep over something the entire time he'd been here.

 Zelu took a moment to compose himself. Why did the human choose to look like that? Why that vulnerable and broken? He swore, Phelix looked more and more like a 'they' rather than an 'it' with each passing second. Why not conform to the usual and throw up the 'nasty evil giant har har har' face he knew so well? Why not stick to the storybook definition like he expected?

 "So. You confuse me." The Mershark repeated, louder this time. Gad, this is stupid. "And I hate you for it. So stop being confusing."

The human ran a sleeve across its face, stifling an exhausted yawn. "What's so con-confusing?"

 "Oh, I dunno, everything? You don't act like you should." Zelu replied, tapping the glass with a claw. "Of all the humans to have captured me, I got to get picked up by a crybaby mutant. You're too confusing."

 "Crybaby's a bit harsh…"

 "Well you are one. I don't make the rules."

 Phelix offered a weak chuckle. "S-sounds to me like you do, talking with that kinda atti-attitude."

 "Well I'm not a god, king, or a giant! And I'll talk to you any damn way I want!" Zelu shot back, completely forgetting who and what he was addressing. "And I think you're a crybaby, so a shrimpy little coward crybaby you are!"

 The human outright laughed at that. Their face still burned with past sorrows, but the jubilant smile that brightened their features took many, many edges off things. It still made the Mershark flinch, the sudden joyful sound rumbling around the tank like an earthquake. It took Phelix a minute to calm down.

 "You're..heh... funny." They said through short laughs, leaning forward on their elbows. "Sorry for g-getting emotional earlier….heheh... I cry over stupid stuff all the t-time."

 "You certainly do."

 "So….what about me d-do you find confusing, Mr Shark? You d-didn't really give m-me a straight answer."

 Zelu huffed and made a point in flexing his spines. He pulled at one of the loose wrappings around his chest, holding up the cloth to the human like a dirty rag. "Explain."

Phelix blinked.

 "Y-you're confused about the bandages?" They asked incredulously. "I-I thought I was pretty clear a-about those."

 "Well you weren't, so," The Mershark tugged on the cloth again for emphasis. "Explain, gigantor."

 "O-okay, so uh….they're bandages. I put them on you to help with your injuries," The human offered a mildly confused look, resting their face in their hand. "And I'd like t-to change them without getting b-bit, but ah…..I now know that's p-probably not a g-good idea.."

 "I know what bandages are, thanks, but what I'm asking you to explain is why," Zelu swam up closer to the tank lid to meet the human's admittedly low eye level, making sure every ounce of his energy went into keeping his voice and tone steely. He was a thread away from snapping under all that pressure. "Why did you put these things on me?"

 "Because you were hurt…? And I d-didn't want you to die?" 'Phelix' leaned out of  their palm and tilted their head to one side. "...Is this a trick question?"

 Zelu sighed. He wasn't getting anywhere with this stuttering clam-brain. They were dead set on keeping their plans secret, that's for sure.

 "Hey, if you can ask questions, c-can I ask some too?" The human asked suddenly, shaking Zelu from his dive into the eel burrow that was his angsty thoughts. "S-so it's not mostly one-sided. T-to make things fair, y'know?"

 The Mershark tensed up at that mention, his iron-hard mask starting to crack right down the middle. He'd already given Phelix enough information, what more could it want? His name? His species? His weaknesses? The location of his family? Zelu didn't want to give away anything… but a proposed deal could get him some vital escape info, if the human decided to cooperate (which had a fifty-fifty chance of happening, based on what he's seen of them). He thought it over for a few seconds.

 "....O-Okay, fine, I'll do a deal. What are your terms, human," He snapped, straining to weld his mask back on. "I won't agree to anything if I find it unreasonable."

 "You sure like b-big words, huh?" Phelix chuckled, pushing their glasses back down onto their nose. "A-and it's not much of a deal, little buddy-"

 "Don't call me that."

 "Right. Sorry."

 "I just want to have a c-conversation with you, okay? No tricks or ter-terms," The human clasped their hands together with a small smile, like they were taking to someone important. "Just a civil c-conversation between us, yeah? I ask you something, you ask m-me something. We both get t-t-to learn about each other, so it's a win-win for both of us!"

 Zelu took another second to mull this over. On one hand, he was being promised unlimited information and a deal without any of the harsh terms he expected, if the human was telling the truth. On the other hand, Phelix would be getting information as well, and still held complete power over everything, as proven by….earlier events. They could still change the terms or cut it off whenever they wished. They'd already grabbed him, there wasn't much Zelu had over them aside from his venom and sheer determination. Heck, they could be lying about everything. That possibility was still pretty high, unfortunately.

 ".....Fine. Deal. Just know that if you try to break it off, I will claw the skin off your fingers," Zelu growled, plastering on a look of admittedly shakey defiance. "Ask your question, human."

"Yes!" Phelix gave a little cheer, clapping quietly, but to Zelu it sounded like a war cry. The Mershark cringed away with an undignified squeak, earning an apologetic look from the human. "....sorry. J-just excited."

 "...what could you possibly be so excited about?"

"Oh, just…I've never really t-ta-talked to a merman b-before."

 Zelu chose to not correct him.

 "Alright, first question, ummm…." Phelix stuck a thumbnail in their mouth while they thought. After a few heavy seconds of chewing and thinking, the human's eyes lit up.

 "Oh! I almost forgot! I never g-got your name, little buddy. C-Can I have your name?"

 Zelu fidgeted. Bad first question. Very bad first question. Right to the personal stuff, all stops pulled. If these were siren rules, Zelu'd be dead for answering that kind of question. But he made a deal, and Zelu wasn't the kind of Mershark to break his word. From what he could see, humans didn't really have any magical powers. They were just big. And terrifying.

 "Z-Zelu. My name is Zelu," He answered, voice wavering slightly when the human leaned forward in anticipation. "Don't ever call me 'little buddy' again."

 "Zelu…" They mused, saying his name like they were trying to get a feel of how it tasted. "Interesting name! I like it!"

 Phelix gave the Mershark a hearty grin, planting their hands on their hips. "Well it's nice to m-meet you, Zelu! You were on the b-beach and now you're in my sister's fish tank!"

 "A total pleasure. I'm so pleased to meet you too." Zelu grumbled sarcastically. Why oh why did he give his name so easily? "So glad my kidnapper knows my name."

 "Okay, n-now you ask a question!" The human said happily, making the fact that they ignored the last comment known.

 Zelu thought long and hard. He contemplated asking about the room or the tank to make his escape somewhat easier (though his injuries would definitely hurt his chances). Then he thought about asking the human questions about themselves. Weaknesses, habits, that kind of stuff. So he'd know exactly how to defend himself should they inevitably turn and attack.

 "My question is…." The Mershark looked up at the human, who was gazing at him with wide, excited eyes. Zelu frowned as whatever he was going to ask disintegrated into thin air.

".....okay. First things first. Can you stop with the creepy staring? It's freaking me out."

 "Right, right, sorry. I'll s-stop staring." Phelix replied quietly with a nod. "My turn!"

 "Hold the fucking shell, how is it your turn? I haven't asked anything yet!"

  The human knitted their brows and tilted their head to one side. They made sure to keep their eyes slightly to Zelu's right. "You asked me to st-stop staring. That was a question, so it should b-be my turn now?"

 "That wasn't- augh, just forget it." Zelu grumbled with a snort. Those stories about human intelligence had to be exaggerated. That, or this one knew of the siren's policies and liked playing tricks. "Ask away, whale face."

 Phelix nodded happily and the conversation continued. It went about as well as one'd expect, Zelu answering every personal inquiry with a bladed tongue, Phelix oversharing about pretty much everything asked of them. The Mershark ended up learning a lot of things he didn't even think of asking, which was both good and bad.

 Turns out Phelix didn't own the fish tank that held him prisoner, nor did they own the fish inside. It was their sister's, who was off at a place called 'college' studying something the human referred to as 'siecologee', whatever the heck that was. Phelix also had never owned a pet or slave of any kind, dispelling yet another story about how every human kept Borrowers and captured Merfolk as servants and entertainment. It also explained the human's clear inexperience in handling smaller creatures such as himself. They claimed plants were much easier to take care of, so they never bothered trying to get an animal.

 Phelix worked as this human job called a 'cashier' at some place known as 'Cove-Mart'. 'They' were a 'he', but refused to elaborate how. He lived in his grandmother's old beach house (the human name for den), having inherited it from her after she died. Phelix's white hair and too-pale skin came from him having something called 'Albinism'. That, the human explained, was a human body condition, which meant he got to look extremely pale ("Like an anime character, b-but in real life!"), had awful eyesight (Explaining those abnormally thick glasses), and needed to slather on this ointment called 'sunscreen' whenever he went outside just so he didn't get burned by the sun.

As for Zelu, well, he made sure he told him the absolute bare minimum.

Where was he from? The river.

What was he? Your worst nightmare.

Did he have family? None of your damn business.

Was he poisonous? Yes, very, so don't ever touch me again.

Would he prefer more tuna or something else? Doesn't matter, just no plants.

Could Phelix change his bandages? For now, absolutely not. I can do it myself.

What kind of shark was he? The kind that will bite off noses if you don't stop asking such personal questions.

 Short and sour, that was how he swam, and he had no plans to change it. If the human wanted kindness or some sort of friendly attitude, they'd have to let him go right then and there. Injuries be damned.

 Yet Zelu held back his true ferocious potential. He could be talking to Phelix as horrible as he wanted, but didn't for one simple reason:

 Phelix was a human, a being hundreds of times bigger than himself. Phelix was a creature who could very easily crush the living daylights from his tiny, fragile body whenever he wanted. No matter how timid or stuttery he acted, everything about the human screamed 'massive and scary'. Sure, Phelix had outed himself as a complete emotional mess who probably would cry himself to death if he hurt Zelu, but that natural instinctual fear of the giant kept the Mershark on constant alert.

 Every gargantuan breath was noted, the heartbeat of an organ almost as big as his whole body echoing through the human's hands and into the table grounded him whenever he thought of a good insult, the slight shaking of the aquarium glass whenever Phelix shifted or changed position kept his spines raised, the rumbling waver of a giant voice stabbing through even as the human tried to keep his voice low, all the little details to remind Zelu of just who and what he was dealing with.

 So even as Phelix smiled and laughed and stuttered, Zelu kept his guard up.

 Eventually the human grew tired of their 'friendly interrogation' and the question flow petered out. After one more inquiry about Zelu's well-being and one last comment about how he seemed to be doing better, he bade the Mershark a good night and vanished into the same room he so frequently went into. Phelix had described it as his bed-and-work room, so Zelu could kind of understand why it was used so much. But nevertheless, the Mershark found the wary side of him wondering about what happened behind closed doors.

 Fortunately Zelu didn't have to think about that right now. He just needed to rest. Phelix had left a shrimp-sized roll of bandages in the water so he could re-wrap himself, and as much as he'd like to immediately, the Mershark needed to sleep. He was already many, many hours behind his usual schedule, having spent so many long nights awake and scared out of his mind. Tonight, Zelu would be able to get a full night's sleep. An uneasy one, he still didn't trust much, but a full night nonetheless.

 If Phelix was telling the truth, he'd be trapped here in the fish tank for another two weeks until he was 'recovered and r-ready to go', as the human put it.

 So again, all he had to do was wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 After he learned to accept conversation into his routine and relax a little, Zelu's final weeks in captivity went past in a blur of new information.

 Phelix actually wasn't that bad of a kidnapper, sometimes acting like his kidnappee wasn't currently being held against his will. The human shared his food, answered every question he was asked, let Zelu handle his own problems and injuries, and most importantly, he kept his huge, fleshy, clamshell hands to himself.

 Phelix even started up a trend of having lunch by the fishtank, setting his plate on the half-covered opening while he tapped away on a grey folding device for hours. He let the tiny Mershark steal as much food as he liked, since Zelu quickly made it known that he wouldn't accept anything that was directly handed to him. If either happened to be in the mood, they'd talk for a bit until one got tired of social interaction, or until the grey device ran out of fuel. The Mershark slowly found he actually enjoyed their little chats, even if the size difference made certain things difficult.

  Zelu learned that the green armor Phelix wore was actually an extra layer of fake insulation called a 'sweater', and was made of woven and dyed cloth. Zelu once caught sight of the human shedding his 'sweater' via an open door, revealing a much….rounder body shape than he expected. From a survivalist's perspective, didn't really need any extra insulation. When he politely asked about it (definitely didn't call his natural enemy fat directly to his face), the human turned a funny shade of pink and mumbled about something called 'slow metabolism'. Phelix didn't elaborate when pressed, forcing the Mershark to try and decipher the words' meaning all on his own. He didn't get much.

  Zelu actually ended up telling the human stories about his home life. Phelix mentioned knowing humans like Mala and Cain, and wasn't that surprised to hear about the Rules. He said not many humans were like him, and that whoever made up the Rules had the right idea. Phelix reacted in all the right ways, too. He laughed when Zelu told him about the time Cain mistook a mud crab for a shiny rock, and he acted impressed when he told him about his races with Mala and Kepsy, but a small part of the Mershark said Phelix didn't really believe his boasting and obviously true skill.

  Zelu in return learned that Phelix was almost called Sammy (near miss on that one, Phelix should count his lucky stars that didn't happen), as well as why the human ended up with a funny name. It was, and Zelu will quote him directly, because "My p-parents are b-basic southerners and wanted to be unique."

  Apparently the normal human spelling of the name is actually 'Felix', but his human's name got messed with for whatever reason. Zelu personally preferred the P-H spelling. More aesthetically pleasing than the first.

 Neither Phelix nor Zelu knew how magnets worked. Zelu didn't even know what a magnet was. They had a very deep discussion about it.

 Once, the human came home late and left an entire crab leg on the fish tank lid without a word. Zelu made quick work of it, dragging the massive thing into the water with his teeth like a very tiny great white. He'd never eaten that much in his life and didn't leave a single part untouched, refusing to leave his cave until he felt less like an overstuffed oyster and more like the lean, wiry shark he really was. Phelix offered no real explanation besides the mention of leftovers from a red lobster dinner party. How the human got crab legs from a lobster was beyond him, but he felt no need to ask any more questions, simply pushing the empty shells to the surface of the water.

 As for the final days with Phelix, those were punctuated by two prominent events that happened in quick succession:

 His First Escape Attempt, followed by the Time he Almost Suffocated on Phelix's Writing Desk.

 The human had made a fatal mistake that day. After their usual chat, Phelix gathered up the discarded bandages (he'd learned to change his own wrappings and let them float to the surface for the human to collect), cleaned out the leftover food from the tank, set the lid down on the table as he walked out of the room, and left behind a small glass of water not too far away.

 A simple clear cup, half-filled with tap water, sitting oh-so-close to the fish tank's right side. And behind that glass of water, just a small jump's distance, lay an open window.

 Only a fool would pass up an opportunity that big.

 And only a fool would mess it up so badly.

 Zelu made the first jump, but only after spending fifteen whole minutes thinking it over. He decided on trying his luck, there was still a small chance Phelix was lying about everything and didn't plan on letting anyone go.

 After taking a swimming leap, he burst from the water in a near-perfect arc, landing in the water glass somehow without making a huge mess. The water felt way too fresh and sweet in his gills, like he was swimming in a bowl of liquidized sugar, but it had enough infused oxygen for a thirty-minute stay. Zelu waited to recharge his tail muscles, doing small stretches to keep loose and fit for the Big Leap. One last jump out that window and he'd be home free. He shot a look at the doorway, making sure it was empty before he made his next move.

Zelu ducked down to the bottom of the tiny cup, coiled tighter than the strongest spring, heart racing against many invisible foes, filling his gills with as much water as possible….

And he jumped.

He almost made it, too.

Zelu came within inches of that white-painted windowsill, wind whistling in his ears. His claws could practically feel the cool ocean currents as he soared so close to his target…

 But the next thing he knew, his face smacked into solid glass, something in his nose popped, and he fell down, down, down onto the scratchy flower-patterned carpet.

 Zelu's heart dropped faster than his body, and it was still falling even after he hit the horribly solid ground. Warm blood dripped slowly from his face. His lungs and gills were shocked into inactivity. Not a single part of him moved. No breathing, no blinking, no twitching, heck his brain could have been knocked dead for all he knew. The window was pretty far from the ground, so he didn't doubt everything important had shattered into a million pieces. One thing was for sure, his arms felt like lead and his tail seared white hot whenever it moved, like something thin and many-bladed had sunk itself through the skin.

 The Mershark's eyes finally caught up with the rest of his brain, and he squinted. Zelu was seeing double and it really messed with his head. He laid there for who knows how long, just trying to focus on his surroundings and breathe normally. The ugly red-white pattern of the carpet seemed strangely distant, fading in and out. His brain was a camera (a human device, Phelix showed him his own once) and someone kept struggling to zoom in on a moving target. The room shifted and crossed over one another constantly. His own hands grew like, two more fingers, moving and twisting about without him feeling a thing.

 The floor shook for a spell. Zelu moved a single eye to stare up. Looked like Phelix was back. And he looked absolutely horrified, standing alone in the doorway. Zelu smirked.

Heh. If only he could see his own face right now. Priceless.

"....Holy shit, Z-Zelu!" The human cried, making a mad dash to where the stunned Mershark lay. The ground trembled and quaked, jostling Zelu's motionless body with each footfall. He smiled at the approaching giant, lack of real oxygen already making everything seem funnier than it really was.

 Phelix stopped in front of him, but didn't crouch. Somehow Zelu was high enough for a simple lean-over to achieve full looming capacity. The human's hands came up to cover his mouth in shock. "....little b-b-buddy..?"

"...don' call m' th't..." Zelu heard himself mutter. His tongue felt stuck to the floor of his mouth, words coming out slurred, nasally, and low. If he didn't know better, he would have thought he just huffed some pufferfish venom. "...'s disr'sp'ctful….."

 Phelix sighed, sending a warm breeze over the Mershark. He shuddered in response to the change in temperature.

"O-okay okay thank God, I thought y-you were d-d-dead…"

Zelu raised a hand with a groan of annoyance, letting it hit the ground again with a quiet smack. "...'m alm'st ded…f'ck'n stupid head…..get it rite..."

"Right r-right, okay, you d-do you…" The human said, making quick motions with his hands as if he wanted to do something but kept stopping himself. "Thank God I decided t-to move my d-d-desk under that window….you landed on my hair b-b-brush too.....Jesus Christ….."

 So he didn't hit the floor? Zelu shifted his head sluggishly. Apparently, yeah, he wasn't lying on the carpet. Smooth dark wood met his cheek instead of rough carpet. And his tail? That stabbing feeling came from resting on a massive brush, thick bristles digging into his rough skin. It wasn't broken, just sore. This new information eased his snail-speed thoughts a little, but he still hurt all over. Not a life-threatening hurt, just a stupid-adrenaline-junkie-who-made-a-dumbass-descision-and-is-now-paying-the-price hurt.

 Zelu snickered to himself. Something about that was funny.

"I'm g-gonna pick you up now, o-okay? A-And g-get you back to the t-tank." Phelix muttered, bringing his fingers around the Mershark. Zelu made a pathetic attempt to raise his spines, but they just twitched upward, before going back to lying flat.

  The human gingerly cupped him with shaky hands, Zelu protesting with a weak growl that sounded more like a seagull being strangled. As much as he hated being handled, he didn't do much to fight back. Zelu was way too tired for that. Besides, he knew Phelix wouldn't hurt him. The guy was really gentle compared to the other humans who first found him. Once you got past his alienating hugeness, a guppy could be more menacing. Probably more dangerous too.

"Y-You're an idiot, you know th-that?" He heard the human say while he was lifted. The motion made his head spin, but he was able to power through it. "That was p-possibly the d-dumbest thing you've d-done so far…."

 The Mershark flipped a bird in Phelix's line of sight, arms and head hanging over the edge of the palm like he was slumped over a railing, drunk out of his mind. "F'ck you."

 Phelix snorted, cringing slightly at the sight of Zelu's bloody nose steadily dripping into the lines of his hands. It looked like a bunch of red veins had shown themselves, popping out as the slow-moving ruby fluid filled in the wrinkles and creases. Zelu ran a claw through one of the lines while the human spoke, absentmindedly tracing the highlighted path. Every so often, he'd find a ticklish spot and make the palms twitch.

 "It really is though. P-playing hopscotch with my cups is j-just b-beyond stupid. The window w-wasn't even open."

 "How was I s'ppos'd t' know that?"

 "I-I don't know, by looking? You ca-can't have worse eyes than I d-do, Zee, and I haven't cleaned those windows in years!"

 "I c'n do wh'tever th' f'ck I want, 'Phee'."

 "N-no you can't!" The human shot back. "I swear, If I d-didn't move that desk, you'd have definitely either k-killed yourself or b-broken something important! Y-you can't just….d-do stuff like that! It-It's like you have a death wish or something!"

 Zelu just lazily bit him in response, letting gravity push in his sharp little teeth. He was too tired to talk or bite with any actual force. He could taste blood, but whether it was his own or the human's he didn't know. The hand tensed up and Phelix stopped moving.

"Uhm...y-you aren't venomous, are you?"

 Zelu unhooked his fangs with a tired, wicked grin. "Mmmhm."  

(He wasn't actually venomous in the mouth, but Phelix didn't need to know the finer details.)

 The look of devastation that spread over the human's face pulled a chuckle from the Mershark's throat, but it died when shock molded into annoyance. Phelix huffed something under his breath and practically threw him back into the fish tank, turning on his heel and speed-walking out of the room without a word. Zelu shouted drunkenly at the sudden action, hitting the cold water with a small splash. He righted himself and let his body float to the surface of the water, watching the human march about the house with mild interest, smiling to himself the entire time. The blood from his nose clouded the water around his head, but he didn't really care.

 The air-deprived woozy thoughts had started to clear away, but he still couldn't stop himself from laughing whenever Phelix tripped over nothing or knocked over a random object. After a while, the human poked his head through the doorway with a frown.

 "Th-this isn't funny! I-I have a very w-weak immune system!" He shouted angrily. Zelu clapped his hands over his ears at the volume, but didn't drop his smirk.

 "I was lying you idiotic sea snail!" The Mershark shouted back, sticking his head above water. "Gad, you humans are so gullible."

 Phelix's frown deepened. Zelu's voice gradually died in his throat at the look he was getting from him. The human looked like a strange mixture of sad and irritated. The Mershark shut his mouth with a click and ducked back underwater, hands coming up to pick at his wrappings. Awkward silence fell over the little room like a thick blanket of seal skin.

 "....what's with the sour face? It was just a joke." Zelu tentatively asked, poking his head up so the human could hear him. "...Do humans not have a good sense of humor?"

 Phelix huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, no, we d-do it's just….. nah, it's nothing. I'm fine. J-just a little….hurt…..I guess."

 "Well duh. I bit you." The Mershark replied. "Of course it's gonna hurt."

 "....How are you s-still able to t-talk like that after that fall....?" He heard Phelix mutter before continuing. "I mean the b-bite hurts a little, but it-it's not that k-kind of hurt."

 "Is this an emotional thing?" Zelu rested his head on the tank edge with a fake-sad expression. "What'd I do to huwt your feewings, o massive one?"

Phelix shook his head. It didn't look like the human was in the mood for teasing.

"...sorry." Zelu made a mental note to cut back on the snapping whenever he looked like this.

"You're fine. I-It's nothing important. It's stupid, really. Y-you just scared me p-pretty badly, that's all…"

 "And?" Zelu pressed.

"I...I j-just thought we made progress, y'know? And then you went a-and uh....and almost k-killed yourself trying to es-escape." The human said. "Th-that's why I'm...not in the best m-mood right now...."

 He cut himself off, shutting the door with a disappointed sigh.

 It didn't open for the rest of the day.

 Zelu was left confused for a moment, but when it finally dawned on him, he retreated to his own private room. He made the human mad, but also sad, too. Apparently humans thought a few weeks of talking and sharing food meant full friendship and trustworthiness, even if the 'friend' in question was technically being held against their will. Merfolk didn't really follow that philosophy, friendship was made through years and years of knowing each other or being raised alongside one another. Two Merfolk weren't really true friends unless they hunted or trained together frequently. Zelu understood he 'hurt' Phelix, but wasn't quite sure how to fix it. He liked the human, yes, but he liked the seaweed beds and his family better. In the eyes of another Mershark, what he did was perfectly reasonable.

  Zelu didn't leave the cave until well into the night, when he felt hungry enough to pick at his food stash.

  Phelix ended up spending his time looking over the bite and sulking in his room on his laptop, while Zelu entertained himself with pebble stacking and wordless arguments with his neighbors until they both grew tired of staying awake. Zelu wouldn't know that until much later.

 Had either of them decided to look out the window during that time, they'd have seen the large, grey fin circling the docks, before it vanished back under the waves.

 Had either of them decided to pay attention to the world outside of Spotify playlists and snappy clownfish, they'd have seen a massive shadowy figure emerge from the water and silently drag parked boats and cruisers underwater, one by one until it found the boat it was looking for.

 Had either of them bothered to stay up a little later, they would have noticed that same shadowy figure peer into the beachhouse windows one by one, before stopping at their own and vanishing without a trace.

 But neither of them did any of those things.

 So nobody noticed anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 "Today's the day!" Phelix announced, pushing open the door without any warning.

 Zelu jumped, knocking over his pebble sculpture. He groaned in annoyance, shooting the human a dirty look before swimming up the tank edge.

 "Today's the day for what." He said as he slumped over the glass edge, arms hanging over the side. "It better be important, cuz you knocked over 'Rainbow Monument part 3'."

 "I-I think it's important enough!" Phelix replied, stopping by the tank to scoop out the uneaten food that had floated to the surface. He gave Zelu a somewhat relieved smile. "You're going home today, r-remember?"

 Zelu didn't remember that, actually. But he definitely would call himself surprised to hear those words. It was shocking enough how quickly each of them got over the events of last night, they spent a full hour talking about it. A full hour filled with apologies and awkward silence. Zelu had been afraid Phelix wouldn't get over it, but based on the human’s attitude now, it looked like hsi failed escape attempt was old news by now. "Like, today? Right now?"

 "Yes today, but I don't know a-about right now. Gotta m-make sure you're actually ready to g-go 'n all." The human dumped out the soggy remains of last night's dinner into the trash can, before pulling up a chair and sitting down in front of the tank like he was ready for some big interview. "J-just a few questions, y'know? I'll start n-now if that's okay."

 For the first time in a while, Zelu let himself smile. He was going home. Like, actually going home. Phelix was letting him go, something past Zelu wouldn't believe even if it bit him on the tail. The only strange thing here was his own reaction. He expected himself to be more giddy or excited about it, but he really just felt a sense of mild relief. No over-the-top reaction, just slight internal happiness. Like the feeling you get when you're still hungry after eating dinner, and find out there's some leftovers nobody touched yet. Nothing worth shouting about, but still a nice feeling nonetheless.

 "I'll t-take your silence as a yes." The human continued, pulling up a small paper list from seemingly nowhere. "S-so, as a whole, are you feeling normal? Like, how you felt before all this went d-down?"

 Zelu gave himself a mental check over, then nodded. "I guess so, yeah. Fit enough to bite through some random fisherman's finger, if that's what you're asking."

 "Okay, good, tha-that's good...any headaches? D-Do the tank lights still seem too bright? Anything li-like that?"

 The Mershark shook his head. "Lights weren't that bright to begin with."

That was a lie, the lights sucked from the very beginning, but they're mostly tolerable now. Sunlight was way better.

 "Do you think you could take off your b-bandages without getting any blood in the water?"

 Zelu paused. "....I guess I could? Haven't….. Haven't really tried that yet."

 "Could you t-try right now?" Phelix asked. "You d-don't have to if you don't want to, I'm j-just curious."

 Zelu shrugged. He ducked back underwater and gingerly began to pull at the wrappings around his chest. They came off easily, unwinding with just a few tugs. He had to work a bit to untangle some parts, sometimes having to saw through the fabric with his claws, but eventually it all ended up in a small bundle on the tank floor. No blood or pain, which both the human and the Mershark took as a good sign. In fact most of his wounds had completely vanished, save for a few small cuts around his ribs, which were still healing over.

 Phelix smiled. "Y-you look great, Zee."

 "I always look great." Zelu scoffed in response, crossing his arms. "Just keep in mind I still blame you for everything."

 "Mhm. Okay." The human muttered, still smiling. He flipped over a page on his notes, exchanging quick glances between whatever was on the paper and whatever he was looking for on Zelu. Occasionally he stood up and looked directly down into the tank, asking Zelu to turn around or flex an arm.

 "....what are you doing?" The Mershark finally asked after another page was flipped. "You said just a few questions, not an examination."

 "W-well, I'm j-just double checking a few things. Th-things look pretty good right now, i-if that helps."

 Zelu huffed, but didn't question any further. Eventually, Phelix closed the notepad and stood up, a somewhat sad smile replacing the usual encouraging or friendly one.

  "I-I think you're good to go, b-bud!" The human said, earning an eye roll from the Mershark. He pulled himself up on the glass wall, leaning almost half of his body over the edge.

 "C'mon then, get me out of this damn tank!" Zelu demanded. "I hate this place! You, you're fine, I like you, but I don't like my neighbors at all. They suck."

 Phelix chuckled and shifted his feet, but didn't say anything else. He looked….a bit lost, really. And maybe a little confused about something. His eyes kept flicking around, and he seemed to be thinking  hard about something troubling, like a math problem or a particularly irritating roadblock. Zelu tilted his head questioningly, raising an eyebrow in frustrated confusion.

 "So ah, h-how do you want to d-do this?" He asked after a bit of (gentle) badgering from Zelu. "L-Like, do I br-bring the whole tank to the dock, or-or do I transfer y-you to a cup or something?"

 Zelu shook his head rapidly at the latter suggestion.

 "No bags, absolutely not, I don't feel like sitting a fuckin water balloon." He snapped. "And I've decided cups can go die. I'd like it if you brought the whole tank, thanks."

 Phelix nodded, but still looked a little confused and hesitant, absentmindedly chewing on his pinky nail. "B-but the tank is…..really heavy…."

 "Then use one of those wagon things you told me about! Gad, it's not that hard!" Zelu jabbed a clawed finger at the giant's face. "You better not be stalling, mister I-can't-think-for-myself. As much as I like you, I'd like to go home more."

 It was almost funny how quickly Phelix nodded and hurried off. The Mershark smirked to himself, but not in a mean way. A human, taking orders from a Mershark one hundredth of his size? And not killing him? Past Zelu wouldn't have believed it. He'd probably call Future Zelu crazy for telling such lies and try to fight him off, assuming Future Zelu was a fear-induced hallucination brought on by human drugs (which, according to Past Zelu's delusions, had been secretly mixed into the tank water). He wasn't even sure anyone at the beds would even believe him. They'd most likely pass him off as crazy too.

 The Mershark snorted in laughter. Their loss.

 Phelix came back a moment later, carrying a foam board which was attached to his wrist via a black rope. The board has images of waves and sharks painted over the front, and Phelix looked more than a little embarrassed about everything. He held it up for Zelu to see.

 "I-i couldn't find a wagon, b-but I did f-find this. It'll work j-just as good, right?" He paused, as if waiting for Zelu's approval.

 The Mershark purposely made a show of acting like he was seriously examining it, but eventually nodded. “Works just fine.”

 Phelix gave a relieved sigh, and very carefully began the slow and difficult process of scooping out the other fish, finding good places to store them until he could plug it back in, picking up a twelve-gallon fish tank, and strapping it to a foam board. It took a lot longer than Zelu liked, especially since the human, despite being massive, apparently had the average physical strength of a sun-dried sea bass. It was pathetic, but he didn't say anything about it. Zelu actually appreciated all the effort Phelix was putting into this, when he could just simply…...ignore Zelu’s wishes and stick him in a bag. It wouldn't be difficult, certainly much easier than what he was doing now. The Mershark felt a small surge of gratitude push through his mask while he watched Phelix work. The sheer amount of luck he'd gotten, having this human find him instead of literally anyone else….

 “Th-there we go…” Phelix muttered, standing up from a very strained kneel. “Is that b-better?”

 Zelu gave the human a thumbs up through the glass. He couldn't talk, the lid was strapped on when the tank had been tied to the board, so really it was the best he could do.

 Phelix nodded and gave a tired sigh, grabbing a wide vanilla sunhat by the door before beginning the slow journey outside, down the stone wheelchair ramp and over to the empty wooden docks. But he looked happy to be helping, so it lessened the guilt Zelu found himself dwelling on. Yeah, he was going home, that should be making him feel happier than ever. But….well it was stupid. The thought that he’d actually miss Phelix? Completely absurd. Nope, he wasn't sad about leaving. He wasn't feeling just a smidge guilty about being so rude or ordering that complete pushover of a human around. He wouldn’t miss talking with Phelix about topics he knew next to nothing about. He wouldn't miss learning about the human world. He definitely wouldn't miss the first non-related person to willingly spend time with him and endure his snappy attitude without making excuses to leave.

 While Zelu shook out his thoughts to clear them up, turning his gaze to the human before him. The tank shook and trembled while it glided over the uneven boards. Phelix walked on slowly, making sure to drag the mostly empty fish tank as carefully as possible, but the Mershark noticed his legs shook a little more than usual. The human kept throwing blink-and-you’ll-miss-it glances over his shoulder, and seemed to put all of his body weight onto one foot while he walked, giving the impression of a hobble. His fingers tapped against the rope as if making sure it was still held firmly in his grip, but he couldn't help but notice how Phelix kept scraping his fingernail over the same spot. Zelu could hear the human puffing quietly (who couldn’t, he was very loud even when he tried to be quiet), which made sense as he was dragging something presumably heavy behind him, but it too seemed to have a somewhat frightened shudder to it. Zelu looked over at the docks around them. It didn't take long for him to see why the human was so on edge.

 The docks were….strangely empty. From what Phelix had shown and told him, the marina usually had at least four people manning the boats or cleaning away bird poop, but not a soul was around.

Crowds were the norm, so for it to be this...dead? Weird. Very weird. Heck, the more he looked, the more he noticed there wasn't anything anywhere. No other giant humans, no squawking sea birds, no abandoned whale-skeleton boats. The marina looked more like an old abandoned fishing dock than the crowded marina of the supposed tourist town Phelix lived in. All the posts had rope and some fishing rods were still in their holders, but the massive, looming boats usually attached to them were nowhere to be seen. They reached the end of the dock, where it stopped pretty far out to sea.

 The water was mostly calm, the sun giving it a very bright blue color as the waves lapped quietly against the wood. Nobody was out on the water, no pale shapes or towering masts off in the distance. There wasn't even a cloud in the sky. Just blue above and blue below. The wind whistled faintly and the water made water noises, but it did little to break the eerie silence that had suffocated the empty marina. Phelix hesitantly knelt down and untied the tank from the board, taking off the lid. Zelu poked his head out of the water with a worried frown.

 “Are the docks usually this quiet?” He asked, not liking the way Phelix’s eyes nervously flicked about, like he was looking for something that wasn't there.

 “N-no…...no they-they aren't….” The human mumbled in response. He pushed the tank closer to the edge, the quiet scuffling of foam against wood sounding like a rumble of thunder in the silence. “I….I, uh, d-dont know….why it’s-it’s so quiet.......it’s pr-probably nothing, you should….you should g-go now……”

 Zelu shook his head and looked back down at the sea. It looked completely normal, cool and inviting, the breeze twisting up small waves so it looked like it was in constant motion. Very different from the fish tank’s artificial stillness. Humans could never truly replicate nature, even if they tried.

 Yet as inviting as the water was, there was something…..off about it. He started to understand why Phelix was so nervous, looking down into the water, hands gripping the glass tank tight enough to crack it if he were bigger. Zelu couldnt put his finger on it, but it was almost as if…..something or someone was waiting for them. Not just Zelu, but Phelix too. He could see the faintest dark shadow, the tiniest ripple of movement, the smallest hint of something hiding beneath the cover of the waves. The obscurest of signs of something lurking under the dock, waiting for the perfect chance to strike. The sea felt almost as unnatural as the silence, even as it innocently gurgled and toyed with the dock’s wooden posts.

 “A-are you…..are you going to l-leave…or-or....?” Phelix asked behind him, making the Mershark flinch.

“In...In a minute. I'm just preparing myself. Big moment, you know.” Zelu replied, but even he didn't find it convincing. Even a toddler could see how afraid he was.

 “Okay, I-I guess…..I guess that m-makes sense…...y-you sure tha-that's it?”

 “Yes I’m sure.”

 “Alright…I’ll just, uh, be over here i-if you need me…”

 Phelix awkwardly shuffled a few feet away, pulling the brim of his ridiculous hat over his eyes. He sat down and pulled his knees to his chest, suddenly looking much smaller than usual. Both knew they were afraid of something, but neither knew exactly what.

 Zelu turned back to the ocean.

 The water bubbled.

 A large ripple wiggled its way out from under the dock. Zelu’s eyes followed it suspiciously.

 Something to his right made a small wave push through the water.

 And from behind him, Phelix screamed.

 Zelu whirled around, heart rate going from zero to 100 in less than a second, adrenaline already zooming into his blood, eyes the size of scallops.

 He didn't know what he thought he was going to see, but a giant hand most definitely wasn't it.

 But there it was, a massive hand bigger than Zelu could even dream of, reaching out of the water toward where Phelix sat frozen to the spot, jaw slack, big blue eyes wide, fingers dug into the wooden dock to keep him from rolling over. Water fell from where it gathered in the webbing between the human-sized fingers, sickle-shaped claws dangerously curling inward, rough, toothed skin stretching and shifting above positively gargantuan muscles. It was bigger than Phelix, like big enough to wrap around the giant human like he was nothing more than an orange. That was definitely saying something.

 Unfortunately for Phelix, he only had a few seconds to blindly stare at the hand before it slammed down into the dock, directly over Phelix’s spot, breaking through the old wood like it was nothing more than paper. Zelu screamed, whether it was from fear or surprise he didn't really know, he just did it. He screamed until his throat grew hoarse and his gills started to burn, before self-consciousness slapped him upside the head and he clapped his own tiny hands over his mouth. It did little to muffle anything, but he didn't really care about how effective anything was at the moment.

 Zelu stared at the swirling water, at the bits of broken wood floating in the waves where a sturdy marina once was, at the exact spot where his friend was awkwardly sitting just seconds ago. Something wet was running down his cheeks. His tail was shaking violently, occasionally twitching in a random direction. His spines were stuck up defensively, but his fins pointed sharply at the ground.

“Phelix..?” The Mershark tried, voice smaller than his sanity.

This can't be happening. It wasn't happening. He was dreaming.

“Phelix?” Zelu said louder.

 The water swirled. No sign of the human anywhere.

He can’t be gone. He can't. Not that soon. Not like this.

 “PHELIX!!” Zelu outright shouted, dropping his hands from his mouth and pushing himself out of the tank as far as he could without falling. “PHELIX!!!”

 Nothing.

 Not even a bubble.

 No blood, no bones, no bubbled screams.

 Just......nothing.

 Zelu sank into the still water of his tank. He felt frozen. Someone just dumped a bucket of ice into his veins and left without a word. His brain had been replaced with a rock. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn't believe anything. His claws found his hair and pulled, like that would ground him. Nothing was real, nothing was real, nothing was real, nothing was real….

 The ocean behind him gurgled and something breached. Zelu spun around, hands in his hair, mouth hanging open like an idiot, eyes following the dark shape as it rose from the bottomless depths.

 A boat-sized head with dangerous, predatory eyes the color of mud, slick sea-greased hair falling around its face like strands of kelp, finned ears displaying a pair of sharp milky spines that sat above them, a mouth pressed shut in a thin line of terrifying indifference, no doubt filled with fangs big enough to crush a fully-grown human into nothing.

  A gilled neck and muscular torso with toothed skin, greyish brown melting into a vanilla white underbelly, a massive dorsal fin curving out from between shoulder blades the size of two great white sharks. In one arm, it clutched something firmly, the other hanging loosely at its side. More massive spines jutted out from those arms, one on each forearm, elbow, and upper arm. The spines folded neatly into each other when the arm was limp, spreading out vertically when it was bent.

 Spines just like his own.

 This beast, the same one that killed his first real friend, looked frighteningly familiar.

 Fucking Déjà Vu. Why the hell do you exist?

 The biggest giant he’d ever seen swept its eyes over the dock, locking onto the tiny tank, closed fist tightening. It lowered further into the water, fist held above water, eyes boring holes into the little shuddering Mershark. It stopped with its mouth above the sealine. Zelu swallowed, his own spines shaking harder than they ever had before. There was no way in hell it didn't see him.

 The giant Mershark opened its mouth, exposing the fangs Zelu knew were there….

 And it spoke.

 “Zelu?”

 The tiny Mershark’s breath hitched. His whole body froze up, eyes glued to the monster before him. Not a spine nor fin twitched.

 It’s voice. It’s voice, it was quiet, it was questioning, it was a voice that clearly had not been used often. He knew that voice. Zelu channeled all of his energy into pushing his head above the water.

“Ca…..Cain..?” He squeaked. The giant Mershark nodded.

“Mom sent me to come and get you.” His brother (good lord that was his brother) rumbled. “Sorry you had to see me get rid of the human.”

“Y-you...you…”

“I haven't killed it yet, if that's what you're going to ask…” Cain held up his fist. “I can do it now, if you'd like.” “What-” Zelu shoved his body up, leaning his torso out of the water to stare right into Cain’s massive face. He wasn’t really scared any more, he’d kind of gotten used to this sort of thing, living with a human and all. Cain was just five times bigger than a human, not much of a difference in his perspective. “No, I don't want you to kill him you dolt! Put Phelix DOWN!”

 His brother looked surprised, but obeyed and held his fist over the remaining parts of the dock. He opened it, and something green and wet fell onto the wood with a cough-punctured yelp. The human scrambled to his feet, sweater soaked to the bone, glasses completely gone, soggy hat clutched in one hand. Phelix’s staring gaze flicked over at Cain, then at the missing segment of dock behind him. He trembled, but did not move, feet firmly rooted to the wood, mouth opening and closing wordlessly.

 Zelu almost fell over in his sigh of relief. Phelix wasn't dead. He was incredibly shaken, but not dead. This was going to take a lot of explaining.

 “Phelix?” The Mershark tried, looking up at the smaller giant. Phelix jumped, but then collapsed to his knees by the tank, hands coming to shakily grip the sides.

“Z-Zee, Ze-Zee, wh-what-what.. what’s…” The human stammered not taking his eyes off Cain. “Wh-who... i’m c-c-cold... it's-it's... I-I d-don't- Ze-Zelu-”

“Phelix, Phee, it's okay.” Zelu comforted (well, he tried to comfort), bringing up a small hand to pat the human’s thumb. “Can you look at me for a second!”

 The human’s watery eyes locked onto him, and Zelo offered a small (kinda strained) smile. “Just focus on me, okay? It’ll probably be hard for you to forget what happened, but I need you to calm down. Nothing’s going to happen if you stay by me, alright? The stupid sea bass behind me doesnt want anything to do with you. You're’ fine.”

 Phelix nodded a little too frantically, talking to himself in breathy high-pitched whispers. He seemed lost in his own little world, kind of hiding behind the tank the best he could, eyes firmly glued to Zelu’s slight left. The smaller Mershark turned away from his friend and shot the nastiest glare he could muster at Cain, who looked very confused.

“You tamed it?” Cain said incredulously, but Zelu held up a tiny hand to stop him. In the corner of his eye, Phelix flinched.

“What the FUCK were you thinking, Cain-in-the-ass?” Zelu snapped, loud enough to be threatening, but quiet enough to not spook the human behind him.

 The larger Mershark tilted his head. “I-I was helping you?”

 “DID I LOOK LIKE I NEEDED HELP?” The younger roared back. “Cain, tell me, do I look like I’m dying?”

 Cain paused. “No…”  “Do I look like I've been tortured?”

 “N-no, you don't…”

 “Then what the FUCK did you think was going on?”

 His brother didn't say anything. Above him, Zelu could hear Phelix’s rapid breathing slow down just a little.

 “I….don't know, to be honest…..” Cain mumbled. He seemed to shrink a little. Like literally, his size reduced by a couple hundred feet. Zelu watched with wide eyes as he kept shrinking until he was about Phelix’s size, looking incredibly embarrassed now that he wasn't a huge shark-zilla.

 Well now I know what that ‘gift’ of his is.

 Cain, Zelu’s older brother by five minutes, was a size-shifter. Size-shifters were extremely rare, born with the magical ability to grow bigger than the largest whale, but at the cost of living to only two-thirds of their lifespan. Legends told of these magical beings rivalling the Gods in terms of brute strength, gigantic warriors able to turn the tides of any war. The shifter abilities mostly stayed within one species, the great Whales of the open waters, but over time, the magical gene somehow spread to the other Merclans. Size-shifters could be found in any species from any clan, but most hid their strength for fear of being kicked out or turned into a weapon. Besides, Cain had incredible power, that much was demonstrated, but he’d only grow to 30 years of age, if he was lucky.

 Zelu was reeling internally, but he made sure his anger at the older stayed in charge.

 “Exactly. You almost killed my friend over actually nothing. He was going to send me home you fucking snail-spine, and how did you thank him?”

 “..by almost drowning him…” Cain answered drearily.

 “By almost drowning him!” Zelu repeated angrily. He knew Cain was just being overprotective, but he wasn't happy with anything at this point. Phelix already had an extremely fragile emotional composition, and his bottom-feeder of a brother just stomped all over them in two minutes flat. “Apologize to Phelix right now, or so help me, I'm gonna...i’m gonna…. Ahhh doesn't matter! You will apologize!”  His brother shifted awkwardly. Phelix had stopped trembling, but Zelu could tell he was pretty afraid. The tank still shook slightly and his breathing shuddered, just not as extreme as before.

 “I...guess i’m sorry, human…” Cain muttered, wringing his hands. “For almost killing you.”

 The smaller Mershark turned to Phelix, a hand still resting on his thumb. Phelix nodded, not breaking eye contact.

 “I-I g-guess, uh, a-apology…..ac-accepted?” The human replied. He looked down at Zelu. “D-do you know th-them..?”

 “Yeah, he's my idiot of a brother. Ignore the whole size-changing part and he's harmless as long as i’m around.” Zelu explained, shooting another look at Cain. “You okay, Phelix?”

 Phelix hesitated, then nodded again. “I-I g-guess…y-you have t-to-to go with hi-him, r-r-right? S-since he s-s-said he ca-came to p-pick y-you up?”

 Zelu snorted. “Unfortunately, yeah. I do. Don't want mom to kill me any more than she would now.”  Phelix tried to offer his signature gentle smile, but it came off as more of a grimace. He already looked on the verge of tearing up, hands twitching a little like he kept wanting to do something with them but stopped himself. Zelu sighed.

 “Oh fine, c’mere you big baby.” He said, holding up his arms. Phelix hesitated, but eventually complied with the quiet confirmation.

 He brought his hands around the tiny mershark, scooped him from the water, and quickly hugged him to his chest. Behind them, Cain gasped quietly, but made no move. Zelu was about to protest at the abruptness of it all, but he stayed silent and let the overemotional human cuddle him, half-heartedly patting the soft, slightly damp fabric of the taller’s sweater. A finger was petting at his hair and he could feel the giant heartbeat thump-thump-thumping away beneath all those layers, chest rising and falling with each shaky breath. It wasn’t half-bad, to be honest. As much as the Mershark hated being held, he felt he could let this one slide. Phelix deserved it.

 “T-Times up.” Zelu muttered after they stayed like that for a good five minutes. He was starting to sweat a little, his body not used to being around that much body heat for so long. The human was like a living, breathing furnace.

 Phelix moved his hands away with a sigh. “S-sorry…”

 “Don't apologize. I gave you permission.” The Mershark shot back, but not in an unkind way. “It was….nice….anyways. I didn't completely hate it.”

 Phelix smiled for real this time. He moved to drop Zelu back into the tank, but thought better of it and instead positioned his cupped hands over the sea. He opened them, and Zelu didn't have to fall far before hitting the intoxicatingly cool water. He darted around in a few circles, taking in the wonderfully familiar feeling of seawater in his gills, something he once thought he'd never feel again. Above him, he heard Phelix chuckle quietly, no doubt enjoying the show. Cain swam up to him, now a lot smaller than before.

 “Should we head back then?” His brother asked. “Before it gets dark?”

  Zelu threw one last look at the docks and frowned. Phelix still looked pretty shaken up, the mellowness from before having worn off already. He now occupied himself by sitting on the edge of the docks, with his feet carefully under his body (away from the water), starting to wring seawater from the sleeves of his green sweater. He took off his hat and shook it around in an attempt to dry it off, which didn't really work out that well.

 "Something wrong, Zee?" Cain asked again. His size had reduced dramatically, but he still had enough inches to loom over him protectively.

 The Mershark shook his head, watching as Phelix got down on his hands and knees to sift his fingers through the water in an attempt to try and find his glasses (the human didn't know Cain had placed them in the dock behind him during their cuddle sesh, but it wasn't impossible for Phelix to not have noticed. He looked like he was enjoying himself too much to pay attention to anything else).

He really must be blinder than a starfish without those things.

 "I'll be right back. Just wanna do something." Zelu told his brother before swimming off back to the docks. He stopped in front of the human, careful to avoid the latter's hands as he stuck his head out of the water.

 "Oi! Broken nose! Your glasses are behind you!" He called out.

 Phelix jumped, but thanked the Mershark and eventually managed to find them after a little more feeling around. He stuck them on and blinked to get used to the change in vision, familiar swordfish eyes returning to his features. Zelu gave the human a brief nod and swam back to Cain without another word, before the human could say anything else.

 Cain's face said enough. Zelu punched his shoulder in irritation at the fake-adoring look he got from him.

 "No, I didn't want another sappy goodbye. Whale face couldn't find his glasses." The younger Mershark explained haughtily. "Didn't want him to spend all night combing the ocean for 'em."

 Cain smirked and rubbed his shoulder, but turned to start his path home, gesturing for Zelu to follow. The younger obliged, but not without one teensy little look back at Phelix. He got a glimpse of the human's timid smile and impossibly small wave, one hand still carefully holding the frame of his glasses, but didn't dwell any further on it. He made a point of keeping his gaze strictly before him. How that giant could rival a baby seahorse in both shyness AND cuteness was baffling. It had to be illegal. A clear violation in the laws of nature. Zelu hated it. He absolutely despised it.

 But not in a bad way.

 And knowing his luck, Zelu knew this wouldn't be the last time he saw him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[divine-noire]

Mononucleosis Awareness Post

So I caught Mono participating in Hot Girl Summer™ (jk jk lmao) but I did get Mono, and this shit is not a fucking joke. If you feel like you might have it, please go to the doctor. Over the past 4 weeks, I have been going through literal medical hell from complications. I’m gonna list the symptoms I’ve had and if you feel like you might have it, go get looked at. I thought Mono was something only horny ass teens got in high school playing spin the bottle, I’m 26 (27 next month) and was NOT expecting this shit at all.

Fatigue

My first symptom that something was wrong was fatigue. This is not normal, everyday fatigue. This is actually waking up and feeling like the world is ending when you take your first step, fatigue. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. While driving, I put my emergency break on at red lights because I was afraid I would fall asleep while at the standstill. At work, if there were no calls, my head was down (luckily, my boss is only here twice a week so I could get away with this). At home, I was in bed by 6PM and when you do sleep, it’s immediate. There is no gradual lulling off to sleep. It’s face-meet-pillow-meet-morning-alarm type of sleep. But I was still tired no matter how much I slept so I started using No Doze to counteract the effects. At first, it was fine, but even then, I still had the underlying fatigue. It got so bad, I drove over a friend’s house in Greenbelt, MD which is about an hour and a half away with rush hour traffic, using every bit of energy I had in my body to get to her, because she said she would take care of me, which she did. But by the time I pulled up to her house, I basically almost fell out of the driver side door when she opened it for me. That is not an exaggeration, that is the level of exhaustion I felt from just driving that far without sleeping. We thought I had the flu or something flu-like, so she gave me fluids and alot of Day & NightQuil. It made the symptoms lessen, but it never made them go away.

Sore Throat

At the beginning, my throat merely felt scratchy. This lasted for about 3 days, before I knew it, my voice was gone and my throat was in so much pain I gave up talking. The pain is not akin to Strep Throat, if you’ve had that before. It is actually worse. My throat was swollen as a symptom of the virus, but it graduated into its own infection of severe Tonsillitis. It was so severe that I actually began having trouble swallowing from the amount of swelling that it caused. I had to receive a steroid injection in my butt to counteract the swelling and start methylprednisone (which wasn’t strong enough and I had to go back for regular prednisone 20mg). I couldn’t eat anything without pain, so I stuck to drinking a lot of fluids and ice water. Ice water became my guardian angel because my throat was in a constant state of burning pain. I also grew exodus on the back of my throat, past my tonsils, as a result of the infection in my throat, and had to gargle salt water like crazy everyday to get them out. The exodus hurts, it is hard and feels like cement on the back of your throat and it makes the Tonsillitis 10x worse than it already is. I didn’t have a voice at all for 12 days, I had to use a dry erase board for all interactions (it’s quicker than typing on my phone.) 

Nausea

Now my case may be different because the doctors keep telling me my nausea shouldn’t have gone on as long as it did and that I need to go see a Gastroenterologist ASAP but that’s a different story for a different post. Nausea was my worst and most persistent symptom to date. The kind of nausea you may feel will be persistent. I woke up nauseous to the point of my mouth salivating as though I were about to vomit everyday for about 2-2.5 weeks. This never settled. There was never a time my mouth was not salivating, I had to begin keeping paper cups at my desk to spit the residual saliva into throughout the day because it never subsided. One day, I had a salad for lunch from Panera even though I wasn’t hungry, I knew I should try to eat something. (By this time, my throat had made some progress and I could swallow some whole things.) I immediately regretted that decision when I lay in bed at midnight holding my stomach like the world was ending. I was so nauseous that I couldn’t get myself together enough to even get out of bed. The thing that makes the nausea symptom so bad (for me) is that it never made be actually vomit, it just created the sensation of needing to. Eventually, I broke down and stuck a straw down my throat just to alleviate the symptom a bit and threw up the salad, and it didn’t even look like it’d been digested properly. That made the nausea go away for the night, and after that I gave up eating anything solid hoping that would prevent any future nausea, spoiler alert: I was wrong. My salivating mouth picked up right where it left off, it was as though all I went through the night before didn’t even matter. My stomach was empty and still nauseated. That night, the nausea was so bad that I just knew something was off and I drove myself to the ER (Note: I drive myself to the ER that is less than 10-minutes away all the time to save money on an ambulance, if you feel you are not safe to drive, dial 911, it is better to just pay the ambulance than cause an accident and make your situation worse than it already is.). When I got there, I was beyond exhausted, nauseous, dizzy, I just felt like I was dying. The doctor brought me back, took my vitals, asked the usual questions. I told him about the nausea, the Mono diagnosis, he said he wanted me to get a temporary room while he ran some tests. I got a room and a nurse came in and gave me a shot of Zofran for the nausea that did absolutely nothing. It was so bad that when he came back in, I asked for Ipecac or a straw to induce vomiting again. Alarmed, he said they wanted to avoid me vomiting and gave me an additional shot of Zofran. That helped that time, but I still just felt overall terrible. The doctor came in later and told me my potassium levels were extremely low, explaining the extreme fatigue and dizziness, that my liver was swollen from the Mono, and that the nausea was alarming and he would be admitting me for treatment. I was shocked that this virus had done such a number on me. My throat had even worsened and was now even more swollen and painful than it was before (I hadn’t gotten the 20mg prednisone script yet.). I spent 2 days with an IV in my arm, eating mushy foods and sleeping in the hospital. I had to take off work because I was in no shape to even drive there, let alone get anything done. After the 2 days went by, I actually felt back to my normal self! I was so fucking happy to exist and not feel like dying after weeks of wanting to that I went home and started cleaning my room. I had let it get atrocious from not feeling well or feeling like doing anything besides sleeping. Shortly after I began, the fatigue kicked in, the only symptom to never leave, and I sat my ass down and watched Rick & Morty with Sebastia and went to sleep instead, which was probably the safer bet. Fast forward 8 nausea-free days, and guess what’s back??? It’s tolerable now, but still an extreme nuisance. I get my Zofran prescription and it does didly fucking squat to alleviate the nausea. I call the Urgent Care that diagnosed me and ask if there’s anything stronger for nausea and they tell me all the stronger shit will have me bedbound and loopy. Bills gotta get paid so we can’t have that. So that night, in a moment of nauseous desperation, I took double the dosage of the Zofran to alleviate the discomfort. Now, I understand I shouldn’t have done this, but I was DESPERATE and afterward, I felt great. It was the first time the medicine had done wtf the doctors said it would do and the way it was supposed to: quick, fast and in a motherfucking sprint. So I stupidly called the Urgent Care to ask them about the nausea medicine again (I have such a good relationship with this UC for some reason, probably because I hate my primary.) and told them what I’d done the night before and that I was now out of nausea meds and needed a refill before it came back, which was all true. Jessica, the nurse I always saw, was alarmed and spoke to the doctor on duty there, and told them about what I did. Then they cut me off and said to go ask my Primary for the refill because I’ve been utilizing them way too much (long story short). But she also said that I shouldn’t need that much Zofran and something else is going on and I need to be seen by a Gastro. That $40 co-pay appointment is still pending. Andddd I’ve been nausea-free for about a week now, but as I type this, my mouth just began salivating so it looks like I’m gonna be dealing with that again soon. Fuck.

Dizziness

My dizziness didn’t come full force until about 4 days ago (Week 4). I was out at a shopping center getting groceries and while I was parking at a nearby Dunkin Donuts, the world legit started slanting. I felt like I’d been drugged all of a sudden. My skin felt cold and clammy, everything felt out of focus and I immediately needed to lie down. Luckily, it came right after I’d put my car in park and had the opportunity to put my seat back and do so. I waited about 10 minutes maybe, and then I felt ok enough to get out and go get some food because I thought I was just hungry because I hadn’t eaten yet. Even standing in line and waiting for the food afterward was difficult. I had to sit down or else I’d fall down. I got back in my car and ate and laid down again, went back to the store to get eggs I forgot to grab before, and on the walk back to my car almost walked into another parked car. Of course, people saw and probably thought I was drunk or something. I was embarrassed but didn’t have the motor skills energy to explain the situation of feeling like I was in 2 bodies at once. This symptom has come and gone as it pleases, but luckily after a good 2-hour nap that day when I got home, I felt alot better. 

Poor Appetite

While battling this virus, I have lost 10 pounds and still counting in the past 4 weeks. While it’s great to fit into clothes I was once too thick to get past my thighs, it is not the way I wanted to lose the weight. In the beginning, I always felt full no matter what, which made me not want to eat, combined with the nausea, it made eating something I just wasn’t in the mood to ever do. This went on for weeks, which caused the weight loss. I learned later that my swollen liver pressing against my stomach is what caused the sensation of fullness, hence, not ever feeling like I should eat. Now, my appetite has returned, and I’ve been eating nothing but starchy, fatty nonsense my diet never would’ve allowed before I got sick. And even with all the newfound calories I’ve been non-stop digesting (seriously guys, pizza 5 days straight, bread bowls, bacon egg and cheese croissants, cheesecake, donuts...) I’m still shedding pounds. My Gold’s Gym Membership is gathering dust because I can’t go workout with my body still always in fatigue-mode and it’s probably just not kosher to do with this kind of virus. My mom said I should celebrate for now until it becomes a cause for concern later, but I think I should probably be concerned now since the earlier you find something out the better health-wise. I lowkey did some research and think I might have Hepatitis-C from the virus, which is curable, but sucks all the same if I’m right. I inherited my mother’s extremely poor immune system, so I really wouldn’t be surprised. I’ll post before and after photos of my weight loss separately, don’t want Tumblr turning me into the Face of Mono™ because of this post. 

Swollen Lymph Nodes

This was one of the lesser symptoms that went away by week 2-2.5. They are definitely sensitive and noticeable. I found that icing them alleviated a lot of the discomfort and made it tolerable, but overall, these were the least of my worries.

If you experience any of these symptoms or think you may have Mono, definitely get yourself checked out. They can do a rapid test at any Urgent Care or ER and let you know during your visit if you have it. This shit is not a joke. I’m still dealing with the symptoms right now and have no inclination of when they will be gone. The literature says anywhere from a few weeks to a year, I’m praying for the initial option but I have no way of knowing for sure. I say all this to say, pay attention to and know your body, guys. You only get one. 

[kurtwarren54]

Pregnancy 2 // First Trimester

Figured I would do an update on how the first trimester was for Baby 2! Things have been different and more intense the second time around! Excited to share the details with you below.

WEIGHT GAINED

I haven’t tracked my exact weight for JUST the first trimester but at my 16 week appt I had gained 9 pounds which my dr said was normal and on track! I will say the pounds started packing on WAY faster this second time around. Almost to the point I was freaked out. But you have to think that everything is growing and taking shape faster and as long as I am on track with my doctor I am feeling great. It is always also strange coming off fertility treatment into pregnancy because I am not fully myself. I had been doing fertility medication for almost a year and that always adds some start weight. But, like I said, it’s all part of my story. All part of my process. And honestly, the fact that I am here, it all doesn’t matter. I am so grateful to be pregnant and have a healthy baby!!

HOW I’M FEELING: PHYSICALLY

Nausea

GOOD GOD. My nausea was 10x worse this time around. At 6 weeks, I went on diclegis prescription for nausea and took 2 pills at night. Despite being on meds, I still struggled through most of my first trimester with extreme nausea. Luckily I did not have vomiting but man… the nausea was REALLY bad. To be honest with you, none of the “tricks” worked for me either. Sure snacks, small meals, ginger, etc etc but nope. Massive unrelenting nausea. The hardest part about it is that being the mom to a toddler means you don’t have the luxury of resting like you do as a first time pregnant woman. Having to take care of an active child while struggling with feeling ill is miserable. I have to thank Blake for pretty much taking over the minute he would be done with work to help me as I was doubled over on the couch. It was rough. And rough knowing just how long the first trimester is. What I did make sure to do was ALWAYS have a snack in the mid afternoon. If I didn’t have some kind of snack between 2-4pm, I would be even more miserable. Saltine crackers were always on my nightstand along with bold chex mix, and goldfish. 

Growing pains

I experienced some more intense round ligament pain in my groin area this time around. I noticed it mostly at night. Especially when I needed to lawn, or sneeze or make a bigger movement I would get a twitch of pain from it.

Pregnancy Brain

Like my first pregnancy, pregnancy brain is a REAL THING. I swear the moment I got pregnant my brain turned to mush. It’s hard to explain but I can’t remember anything to save my life. Lol!

Exhaustion

I was a new level of tired being pregnant and chasing a toddler. Truth be told being in a pandemic didn’t help either. Not being able to take him places etc. I was very tired but the sickness bothered me more than being tired.

Constipation

Sorry if that’s TMI but wow the constipation was bad this time around. The first month or two was tough and I know it also has alot to do with how much progesterone is in my body. Since I wasn’t drinking coffee after my transfer right away, it was extra tough. I always feel like coffee gets me moving. HA! I know. So much TMI. You’re welcome.

Baby bump

This time around I feel my belly popped out a lot sooner! At 14 weeks I feel I had a tiny little bump. I am sure I will look back and be like, WOW that wasn’t much of a bump but it’s when I felt there was a defined transformation. 

HOW I’M FEELING: MENTALLY

I think similarly to my first pregnancy, after so much loss (with each of our failed embryo transfers) you keep waiting and holding your breath as each week passes you by. Each week it’s own milestone. And you find yourself thinking, “Oh I will feel good once I hear the heart beat!” “Oh I will feel good when I hit the second trimester.” But really, I think there is always a sense of unease as you move through the process. I think it’s healthy to be a little bit nervous. It’s honest. I think things have just been more stressful with the fact that we are still in a global pandemic because of Covid-19. That has put alot of stress on us keeping our family safe during these times and staying as isolated as we can while also being aware of taking care of our mental health. We are very fortunate living where we do to be able to spend time together outdoors and that has been great for the mind and body. Really, I go to bed, and wake up every day just so damn grateful knowing that I am growing life and repeating to myself that I AM PREGNANT. And THIS IS OUR CHANCE. This is our miracle. It’s been such an emotional roller coaster to get to this point and really, despite any outside stressors buzzing around, I am just so grateful and smile so big everyday knowing that next Summer I get to make Otis a big brother. 

WHAT I’M EATING

First trimester for me was CARBS. CARBS and MORE CARBS. Honestly most days I barely had an appetite because of how sick I felt but I know how important it was to nourish my body. So I would basically have to force myself to have my meals. ESPECIALLY when it came to dinner. I had no appetite at all at night. It was bad.

That being said, I didn’t have any coffee for weeks. First off because I avoid caffeine after my embryo transfer and didn’t feel comfortable drinking it until after I heard the heartbeat. At a certain point, when my nausea would allow in the am and I was in the mood for coffee, I started to drink it again. I started with decaf but then had some headaches and my doctor always encourages me to have 1 cup of caffeine to help with my headaches. What I was drinking and couldn’t stop was bubble water (or carbonated water) whatever you like to call it. I usually prefer lukewarm drinks but this pregnancy I was craving ICED COLD bubble water. We actually ended up getting this carbonated water maker and we literally use it EVERY SINGLE DAY. For some reason the cold bubble water just helped with my nausea believe it of not.  

Thankfully eggs were a lifesaver for me and I could tolerate them. My favorite go to breakfast that didn’t make me want to throw up: a piece of toast, a tiny bit of mayo, and a sliced hard boiled egg with salt and pepper. I basically ate that every day. I also had a lot of bagels with cream cheese when I wasn’t feeling great. Food was just tough so we didn’t meal plan as much so I could eat more what I could stomach that day.

As the first trimester went on, I was able to eat more regularly. I always try to eat protein for breakfast (like egg) to help really nourish me. I also try to make smarter choices and slip some protein in my afternoon snack. My favorites: string cheese, chocolate covered almonds, toast or apples with almond butter. Don’t get me wrong, some days I have a bowl of chips, a cupcake, or something else that is naughty. I think it’s all about balance and sometimes, you just have to indulge.

HOW I’M SLEEPING

First trimester sleep was rough. With the waking up to pee almost every night that was one element. It’s likely the hormone changes that always get to me. Last pregnancy I had to take unisom to get some form of normal sleep. Since I started the diclegis at 6 weeks with 2 pills at night, I found that helped me sleep MUCH better. So for now, I am sleeping ok. Some nights are better than others. I do toss and turn alot. 

EXERCISE

I didn’t really work out at all till at least around 10-11 weeks. Of course I was doing my daily walks with Otis etc and getting my steps in and my blood pumping. But I wanted to take it easy and honestly I didn’t have the energy to do anything before then. Starting at 11 weeks I started short 10 minute workouts on my elliptical that we have in our garage and Blake got me for Christmas. I try to do that, or just walk briskly on our treadmill for 10-15 minutes. There are weeks I barely get 1 “workout” if you even want to call it that. Basically I just try to get my blood pumping whether I am walking for Otis’ morning walk or doing something else. I also started prenatal yoga class (virtually online) every week and its been music ot my soul. Great stretching and a great time for me to sit and connect with my body and the baby. It’s something I really enjoyed while pregnant with Otis so it’s a sense of comfort being able to participate even from my computer at home.

MEDS IM TAKING

For most of the first trimester, I stayed on alot of my IVF medications. I stayed on my prednisone steroids till 9 weeks and then weaned down my estrogen patches as well as weaned down to 1 progesterone injection a day. During this time, I did get some hormonal headaches with all the fluctuations but luckily they weren’t horrible and only lasted 2 days. I finally was able to stop all my meds (with the exception of baby aspirin and my diclegis) at my graduation appointment from the fertility clinic at 12 weeks!!! This was a HUGE milestone after literally doing injections and taking medications for almost a year in prep for each of my FET (frozen embryo transfer) cycles.

CHALLENGES

The biggest hurdles this pregnancy have been knowing and believing that feeling like crap would likely get better at the end of the first trimester. After a year of hormone meds, and then feeling awful my first trimester, a UTI, a yeast infection from the meds of the UTI (sorry TMI!!) I got to the point where being in my own skin was just frustrating. Being pregnant is a WILD things because your body is completely taken over. It’s beautiful in many ways and also still really emotionally challenging in others. I am so thankful to see the light at the end of the tunnel of the first tri. But anyone else that is “IN IT” my heart hugs yours mamas. It’s tough!!

WHAT I’M WEARING

I feel everything comes on sooner with the second pregnancy and the need for stretchy things came sooner. When it comes to leggings, I still wear my pre-pregnancy lululemon align leggings which are high rise and so stretchy as well as my alo leggings that are really soft and a little lower rise. Both still fit comfortably and fit over my growing body. Toward the end of my first trimester, I ended up buying these maternity leggings from beyond yoga and I LOVE them. They feel like second skin and are so buttery soft. They come all the way up over your bump or you can also fold it down to go under. Highly suggest them as they are SO comfy.

Also because I don’t leave my house often (because of Covid-19) I wear a ton of sweats. These sets from Michael Stars have been a guilty pleasure because they are SO soft and made of terry material. I also love my sweat set from Tan Lines that Sivan sent over. The material is SO soft and I feel like a cool mom in them. Although Blake made fun of my crop top sweater. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT IS COOL!!! I do enjoy wearing more cropped tops when pregnant to let the belly have it’s little bit of room. I did end up getting one pair of maternity denim from jbrand that actually fit great toward the end of my first trimester also. Will report back when I wear them out. Equally stretchy too.

I did buy 3 bras from skims that I have been loving too. This scoop bra, this triangle bra and this nursing bra are all GREAT. I wanted to see what the hype was about with this brand and I have to say the materials are ON POINT. VERY comfy. If you plan to order, SIZE UP and size up big time. I got at least size L in everything because my boobs are enormous now and I feel their stuff runs small. I also have a ton of bras from Otis’ pregnancy. From last pregnancy, I have my hatch and bravado bras that I wear weekly also.

It’s different for the second pregnancy because you start showing and feeling bigger sooner (at least in my case) so you are in that in between period of not fully having a bump but feeling large and awkward if that makes sense. I have to say, a perk of pandemic life is the fact that I am mostly in lounge wear so I have been able to avoid real clothes for most of the first trimester aside from doctors appointments etc.

SELF LOVE

First trimester was just really challenging with not feeling well constantly. Hard to give yourself self love, in a pandemic, with no childcare help. If anything, I tried to listen to my body, and lay down when Otis was napping and try my best to give my body the much needed rest it was craving. Nearing the end of the first tri, showers and a blow dry were my self care routine and even an at home mani/pedi. Feeling better was already such a treat and allowed me the time to do some other things for myself. I think it’s just so important to listen to your body and slow down when you need it. 

FIRST TRIMESTER PURCHASES

Purchases for me:

Skims scoop bra

Skim maternity nursing bra

Skims triangle bra

Beyond yoga maternity capri leggings

Aarke water carbonator

Lululemon align leggings

Summer fridays babymoon belly balm

Purchases for baby:

Kyte baby rainbow onesie

Kyte baby toddler blanket

Moby mickey wrap (blake bought this for me!)

Letterfolk sign

Masongrey baby bundle

BABY PREPARATIONS

So we didn’t do much to prep for baby in the first trimester except for me sharing our good news with my good friend (and interior design guru) Anne! She helped to plan out the interiors of our whole home including master bedroom, living and dining rooms, and most recently Otis’ nursery. I basically texted her and forced her to dream up Baby #2 nursery ideas so we are currently working on that! IT’S GOING TO BE EPIC.

WHAT’S NEXT

I am looking forward to more ultrasounds!!!! I can not WAIT for my anatomy scan at 20 weeks to get some more face time with baby. Other than that, it’s check off each week as an incredible milestone and try to remain as active as I can to help get my body strong for delivery again. It’s exciting to near the half mark and be buying things for baby, talking to Otis about the baby and just imagining our life together as a family. I honestly am still in shock everyday. I feel lucky everyday. Our rainbows have brighten out life immensely and I am so excited to continue to share our journey with you all. Big love from all of us.

The post Pregnancy 2 // First Trimester appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Lapides.

from Wellness https://www.eatsleepwear.com/2021/02/17/pregnancy-2-first-trimester/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[elizabethcariasa]

Pregnancy 2 // First Trimester

Figured I would do an update on how the first trimester was for Baby 2! Things have been different and more intense the second time around! Excited to share the details with you below.

WEIGHT GAINED

I haven’t tracked my exact weight for JUST the first trimester but at my 16 week appt I had gained 9 pounds which my dr said was normal and on track! I will say the pounds started packing on WAY faster this second time around. Almost to the point I was freaked out. But you have to think that everything is growing and taking shape faster and as long as I am on track with my doctor I am feeling great. It is always also strange coming off fertility treatment into pregnancy because I am not fully myself. I had been doing fertility medication for almost a year and that always adds some start weight. But, like I said, it’s all part of my story. All part of my process. And honestly, the fact that I am here, it all doesn’t matter. I am so grateful to be pregnant and have a healthy baby!!

HOW I’M FEELING: PHYSICALLY

Nausea

GOOD GOD. My nausea was 10x worse this time around. At 6 weeks, I went on diclegis prescription for nausea and took 2 pills at night. Despite being on meds, I still struggled through most of my first trimester with extreme nausea. Luckily I did not have vomiting but man… the nausea was REALLY bad. To be honest with you, none of the “tricks” worked for me either. Sure snacks, small meals, ginger, etc etc but nope. Massive unrelenting nausea. The hardest part about it is that being the mom to a toddler means you don’t have the luxury of resting like you do as a first time pregnant woman. Having to take care of an active child while struggling with feeling ill is miserable. I have to thank Blake for pretty much taking over the minute he would be done with work to help me as I was doubled over on the couch. It was rough. And rough knowing just how long the first trimester is. What I did make sure to do was ALWAYS have a snack in the mid afternoon. If I didn’t have some kind of snack between 2-4pm, I would be even more miserable. Saltine crackers were always on my nightstand along with bold chex mix, and goldfish. 

Growing pains

I experienced some more intense round ligament pain in my groin area this time around. I noticed it mostly at night. Especially when I needed to lawn, or sneeze or make a bigger movement I would get a twitch of pain from it.

Pregnancy Brain

Like my first pregnancy, pregnancy brain is a REAL THING. I swear the moment I got pregnant my brain turned to mush. It’s hard to explain but I can’t remember anything to save my life. Lol!

Exhaustion

I was a new level of tired being pregnant and chasing a toddler. Truth be told being in a pandemic didn’t help either. Not being able to take him places etc. I was very tired but the sickness bothered me more than being tired.

Constipation

Sorry if that’s TMI but wow the constipation was bad this time around. The first month or two was tough and I know it also has alot to do with how much progesterone is in my body. Since I wasn’t drinking coffee after my transfer right away, it was extra tough. I always feel like coffee gets me moving. HA! I know. So much TMI. You’re welcome.

Baby bump

This time around I feel my belly popped out a lot sooner! At 14 weeks I feel I had a tiny little bump. I am sure I will look back and be like, WOW that wasn’t much of a bump but it’s when I felt there was a defined transformation. 

HOW I’M FEELING: MENTALLY

I think similarly to my first pregnancy, after so much loss (with each of our failed embryo transfers) you keep waiting and holding your breath as each week passes you by. Each week it’s own milestone. And you find yourself thinking, “Oh I will feel good once I hear the heart beat!” “Oh I will feel good when I hit the second trimester.” But really, I think there is always a sense of unease as you move through the process. I think it’s healthy to be a little bit nervous. It’s honest. I think things have just been more stressful with the fact that we are still in a global pandemic because of Covid-19. That has put alot of stress on us keeping our family safe during these times and staying as isolated as we can while also being aware of taking care of our mental health. We are very fortunate living where we do to be able to spend time together outdoors and that has been great for the mind and body. Really, I go to bed, and wake up every day just so damn grateful knowing that I am growing life and repeating to myself that I AM PREGNANT. And THIS IS OUR CHANCE. This is our miracle. It’s been such an emotional roller coaster to get to this point and really, despite any outside stressors buzzing around, I am just so grateful and smile so big everyday knowing that next Summer I get to make Otis a big brother. 

WHAT I’M EATING

First trimester for me was CARBS. CARBS and MORE CARBS. Honestly most days I barely had an appetite because of how sick I felt but I know how important it was to nourish my body. So I would basically have to force myself to have my meals. ESPECIALLY when it came to dinner. I had no appetite at all at night. It was bad.

That being said, I didn’t have any coffee for weeks. First off because I avoid caffeine after my embryo transfer and didn’t feel comfortable drinking it until after I heard the heartbeat. At a certain point, when my nausea would allow in the am and I was in the mood for coffee, I started to drink it again. I started with decaf but then had some headaches and my doctor always encourages me to have 1 cup of caffeine to help with my headaches. What I was drinking and couldn’t stop was bubble water (or carbonated water) whatever you like to call it. I usually prefer lukewarm drinks but this pregnancy I was craving ICED COLD bubble water. We actually ended up getting this carbonated water maker and we literally use it EVERY SINGLE DAY. For some reason the cold bubble water just helped with my nausea believe it of not.  

Thankfully eggs were a lifesaver for me and I could tolerate them. My favorite go to breakfast that didn’t make me want to throw up: a piece of toast, a tiny bit of mayo, and a sliced hard boiled egg with salt and pepper. I basically ate that every day. I also had a lot of bagels with cream cheese when I wasn’t feeling great. Food was just tough so we didn’t meal plan as much so I could eat more what I could stomach that day.

As the first trimester went on, I was able to eat more regularly. I always try to eat protein for breakfast (like egg) to help really nourish me. I also try to make smarter choices and slip some protein in my afternoon snack. My favorites: string cheese, chocolate covered almonds, toast or apples with almond butter. Don’t get me wrong, some days I have a bowl of chips, a cupcake, or something else that is naughty. I think it’s all about balance and sometimes, you just have to indulge.

HOW I’M SLEEPING

First trimester sleep was rough. With the waking up to pee almost every night that was one element. It’s likely the hormone changes that always get to me. Last pregnancy I had to take unisom to get some form of normal sleep. Since I started the diclegis at 6 weeks with 2 pills at night, I found that helped me sleep MUCH better. So for now, I am sleeping ok. Some nights are better than others. I do toss and turn alot. 

EXERCISE

I didn’t really work out at all till at least around 10-11 weeks. Of course I was doing my daily walks with Otis etc and getting my steps in and my blood pumping. But I wanted to take it easy and honestly I didn’t have the energy to do anything before then. Starting at 11 weeks I started short 10 minute workouts on my elliptical that we have in our garage and Blake got me for Christmas. I try to do that, or just walk briskly on our treadmill for 10-15 minutes. There are weeks I barely get 1 “workout” if you even want to call it that. Basically I just try to get my blood pumping whether I am walking for Otis’ morning walk or doing something else. I also started prenatal yoga class (virtually online) every week and its been music ot my soul. Great stretching and a great time for me to sit and connect with my body and the baby. It’s something I really enjoyed while pregnant with Otis so it’s a sense of comfort being able to participate even from my computer at home.

MEDS IM TAKING

For most of the first trimester, I stayed on alot of my IVF medications. I stayed on my prednisone steroids till 9 weeks and then weaned down my estrogen patches as well as weaned down to 1 progesterone injection a day. During this time, I did get some hormonal headaches with all the fluctuations but luckily they weren’t horrible and only lasted 2 days. I finally was able to stop all my meds (with the exception of baby aspirin and my diclegis) at my graduation appointment from the fertility clinic at 12 weeks!!! This was a HUGE milestone after literally doing injections and taking medications for almost a year in prep for each of my FET (frozen embryo transfer) cycles.

CHALLENGES

The biggest hurdles this pregnancy have been knowing and believing that feeling like crap would likely get better at the end of the first trimester. After a year of hormone meds, and then feeling awful my first trimester, a UTI, a yeast infection from the meds of the UTI (sorry TMI!!) I got to the point where being in my own skin was just frustrating. Being pregnant is a WILD things because your body is completely taken over. It’s beautiful in many ways and also still really emotionally challenging in others. I am so thankful to see the light at the end of the tunnel of the first tri. But anyone else that is “IN IT” my heart hugs yours mamas. It’s tough!!

WHAT I’M WEARING

I feel everything comes on sooner with the second pregnancy and the need for stretchy things came sooner. When it comes to leggings, I still wear my pre-pregnancy lululemon align leggings which are high rise and so stretchy as well as my alo leggings that are really soft and a little lower rise. Both still fit comfortably and fit over my growing body. Toward the end of my first trimester, I ended up buying these maternity leggings from beyond yoga and I LOVE them. They feel like second skin and are so buttery soft. They come all the way up over your bump or you can also fold it down to go under. Highly suggest them as they are SO comfy.

Also because I don’t leave my house often (because of Covid-19) I wear a ton of sweats. These sets from Michael Stars have been a guilty pleasure because they are SO soft and made of terry material. I also love my sweat set from Tan Lines that Sivan sent over. The material is SO soft and I feel like a cool mom in them. Although Blake made fun of my crop top sweater. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT IS COOL!!! I do enjoy wearing more cropped tops when pregnant to let the belly have it’s little bit of room. I did end up getting one pair of maternity denim from jbrand that actually fit great toward the end of my first trimester also. Will report back when I wear them out. Equally stretchy too.

I did buy 3 bras from skims that I have been loving too. This scoop bra, this triangle bra and this nursing bra are all GREAT. I wanted to see what the hype was about with this brand and I have to say the materials are ON POINT. VERY comfy. If you plan to order, SIZE UP and size up big time. I got at least size L in everything because my boobs are enormous now and I feel their stuff runs small. I also have a ton of bras from Otis’ pregnancy. From last pregnancy, I have my hatch and bravado bras that I wear weekly also.

It’s different for the second pregnancy because you start showing and feeling bigger sooner (at least in my case) so you are in that in between period of not fully having a bump but feeling large and awkward if that makes sense. I have to say, a perk of pandemic life is the fact that I am mostly in lounge wear so I have been able to avoid real clothes for most of the first trimester aside from doctors appointments etc.

SELF LOVE

First trimester was just really challenging with not feeling well constantly. Hard to give yourself self love, in a pandemic, with no childcare help. If anything, I tried to listen to my body, and lay down when Otis was napping and try my best to give my body the much needed rest it was craving. Nearing the end of the first tri, showers and a blow dry were my self care routine and even an at home mani/pedi. Feeling better was already such a treat and allowed me the time to do some other things for myself. I think it’s just so important to listen to your body and slow down when you need it. 

FIRST TRIMESTER PURCHASES

Purchases for me:

Skims scoop bra

Skim maternity nursing bra

Skims triangle bra

Beyond yoga maternity capri leggings

Aarke water carbonator

Lululemon align leggings

Summer fridays babymoon belly balm

Purchases for baby:

Kyte baby rainbow onesie

Kyte baby toddler blanket

Moby mickey wrap (blake bought this for me!)

Letterfolk sign

Masongrey baby bundle

BABY PREPARATIONS

So we didn’t do much to prep for baby in the first trimester except for me sharing our good news with my good friend (and interior design guru) Anne! She helped to plan out the interiors of our whole home including master bedroom, living and dining rooms, and most recently Otis’ nursery. I basically texted her and forced her to dream up Baby #2 nursery ideas so we are currently working on that! IT’S GOING TO BE EPIC.

WHAT’S NEXT

I am looking forward to more ultrasounds!!!! I can not WAIT for my anatomy scan at 20 weeks to get some more face time with baby. Other than that, it’s check off each week as an incredible milestone and try to remain as active as I can to help get my body strong for delivery again. It’s exciting to near the half mark and be buying things for baby, talking to Otis about the baby and just imagining our life together as a family. I honestly am still in shock everyday. I feel lucky everyday. Our rainbows have brighten out life immensely and I am so excited to continue to share our journey with you all. Big love from all of us.

The post Pregnancy 2 // First Trimester appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Lapides.

[pauldeckerus]

Destination Wedding Survival Guide for Photographers

Have you considered offering destination wedding photography to your clients but questioned the amount of work and risks involved? We will dive deep in this article, covering various topics to help you succeed on your first destination wedding assignment.

The topics covered include:

Planning and what to bring.

Scouting and how to use your time on location efficiently.

Capturing the wedding day and beyond.

Understanding the client experience and your role as photographer.

Destination weddings are not always sunshine and rainbows. What do you do when the weather forecast shows rain for the entire week? How will you reassure your client that you have what it takes to help them succeed?

My name is Jimmy Chan, the wedding photographer of Pixelicious from Montreal, Canada. Readers of PetaPixel might remember my other articles on lighting and posing, so the goal is to apply everything I have shared previously in a much more challenging context (destination wedding in Jamaica’s Montego Bay), while explaining the thought process as we go along. As always:

This article is loaded with tips for your upcoming assignment.

It’s easy to understand, such that hobbyist and amateur photographers can learn from.

Showcasing real client photos on location, not models in stylized shoots.

Criticizing my own favorite shots, revealing what I could have done differently.

Think carefully before offering destination wedding photography to your clients

In the end we all want happy brides, just be aware that there’s a long journey getting there.

Does your insurance policy cover your equipment and liability in a foreign country (in particular the country you will be visiting)?

Are you able to execute with a minimal amount of gear?

Are you willing to work tirelessly for days, while being away from your family?

If you answer “no” to any of the questions above, then you shouldn’t be offering destination weddings until you are ready. Don’t be enticed by the scenic backdrops or the jet-setting lifestyle because it involves 10x amount of work, stress, and effort.

Don’t procrastinate, and start planning immediately

Whether the client is booking your flight and accommodation via the travel agency or you wish to do everything yourself, ideally you wish to arrive on location two days ahead. This minimizes the impact should you have to deal with flight cancellations and delayed/lost luggage. Also, it gives you the opportunity to attend important meetings with the venue coordinator, participate in the ceremony’s rehearsal and scout the area before the wedding day.

Furthermore, explore opportunities where you might take your client along for photo shoots. I plan them like my engagement sessions, where I elaborate on visual concepts, clothing, time of day and where to shoot.

There are areas where extra precaution is required, as indicated in the Government of Canada’s website. Never risk your client’s safety (or your own) for a photo, it’s not worth it.

Double check if your destination requires special work permit or visa upon entry. Remember that you are visiting for work, as a photographer and not as a tourist. This sounds like a no-brainer but many underestimate the amount of time needed in getting all documentation ready. For Jamaica, a work permit isn’t necessary but I had e-mail transcripts from the Jamaican embassy (in Canada) printed anyway, in case I run into problems with the customs.

Know the risks involved when traveling abroad, as shown in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Vaccinations for Hepatitis A and B are highly recommended, visit your travel clinic for a consultation.

If you are heading to the Caribbean, consider bringing other essential items such as sunscreen, mosquito repellent, bandages, sunglasses and a hat. You will thank me later once you get to experience the blazing Jamaican sun on the beach where there’s no shade.

Let’s talk about gear

Is your gear durable enough to withstand the summer heat, sand, rain and occasional salt water splash? Trust me that I am no gear snob but this isn’t the place (or time) where you can drive to the local camera store for rentals. Equipment failure or not having adequate backup is suicidal.

Under no circumstances should you check in your photographic equipment. The staff at the gate will always attempt to reassure you but we all know this is a disaster waiting to happen. Look no further than PetaPixel for horror stories, both from Delta Airlines and American Airlines.

I live and die by the 70-200mm but I can’t store it vertically in my backpack, taking up too much space.

Using the same amount of space, I can fit my 16-35mm f/4, 24-70mm f/2.8 and 135mm f/2. The backpack ended up swallowing two more camera bodies, two flashes, spare batteries, spare chargers, etc.

Flight carry on baggage restrictions seems to be getting worse as the years go by. My recommendation is to drastically limit the amount of gear you will be bringing, such that everything fits into a moderately sized backpack. The backpack offers some advantages versus the rolling case:

To free my hands at the airport.

I only need to drag one suitcase when traveling (gear on my back).

More discreet, less chance of being targeted at the gate for forced check in.

I have no opinion on how others shoot but I will explain why it makes sense to use lens hoods and UV filters.

Dropping a lens is the rite of passage for any photographer. Don’t worry, if you had yet to experience the pain, your time will come.

I strongly recommend the usage of clear UV filters for your lenses at destination weddings, why?

For weather sealing purposes.

It gives me one more chance after screwing up.

If you drop your lens and crack the front element, then it’s game over. Even when I am not careful, allowing water to be splashed onto my lens, I just don’t have time to clean it during a shoot. With a UV filter, I just need to remove it, put it away and keep shooting. Stop worrying about lens sharpness as long as you pick a reputable brand such as B+W or Hoya. Give yourself that peace of mind and insurance when you have no access to rental equipment.

The hotel safe is too small for your equipment and leaving them unsecured in the room is asking for trouble. The solution? Bring your own portable safe.

Another accessory that I recommend is your own portable safe. The goal is to secure your gear but also to discourage thieves from running away with your backpack (or rolling case) too easily. It is essentially a large pouch where you can tether it against any fixture such as the closet’s metal rod, plumbing pipes or bed frame, wherever you deem difficult enough to access. In order to steal your equipment, thieves must bring specialized tools such as wire cutters or saws.

The importance of scouting

With the exception of the wedding day where I shoot with dual cameras, I make a conscious decision to separate my equipment as soon as I step outside my room.

In other words, I carry one camera body during my off hours, when scouting or shooting on location. For any reason I get mugged, my backup is available at the hotel as opposed to losing everything. Similarly, if someone raids my room, then I still have one camera left. Deal with insurance later, never put yourself in a position where you can no longer shoot when that’s your job!

I just use my phone when scouting and the rocks near the gazebo caught my attention. I noted the sun’s angle relative to the time of day and try to visualize the shots against the backdrop.

The ocean dumps a huge amount of seaweed along the coast everyday. By the time the beach gets cleaned up, it’s already noon when the light is poor. I had to ask the staff to help clean a specific area of the beach the morning of our photo shoot.

The swimming pool is too crowded during the day but it glows eerily blue at night. See those large floats on the pool? Perfect place to setup off-camera flash.

Understand your role as the wedding photographer

If you think that your job is to show up with a fancy camera, take some pretty pictures and spend the remaining days drunk, then you are coming in with the wrong mindset.

You are here to act as their guide, to reassure them that moments will be captured beautifully no matter what. The pictures won’t reveal everything that went wrong at this wedding. The morning downpour alone was enough to cause panic, the bride was in tears as soon as I walked in. She was about to cancel the outdoor ceremony, something she had dreamt for years but I checked the forecast enough to reassure that the rain will stop 30 minutes before starting.

Just stay cool, everything falls apart when you panic.

In my previous article on wedding lighting, I talked about how to capture front-, side- and backlit images using one light source such as a window simply by changing your position:

With the blinds wide open, the window becomes a large softbox. Team bride is now front-lit.

Close the blinds to have the bride partially side-lit. The light remains soft and directional due to the subject’s proximity to the window.

Turn the body away, only to have the face turn back towards the light. If the tip of the nose goes beyond the cheeks, it will appear longer than it’s supposed to so this shot barely passed.

Example of the bride and mom backlit. Do we care about what’s outside the window? Not really, overexpose slightly unless you are looking for a silhouette.

Rain stopped as promised, notice the aisle being very wet.

Outdoor ceremony at the gazebo overlooking the ocean.

Get used to the ocean backdrop, they picked this place for a reason so know when to stop down your aperture.

Bringing the newlyweds to the rocks behind the gazebo, where I visited while scouting.

Mix things up by playing with focal lengths and composition. I would have preferred a bit more separation between subjects but yelling across the ocean proved too difficult for me.

Coming back to the beach for the sparklers finale. On-camera flash was used while walking backwards in the dark.

Have some fun while you are there

Weddings are fast-paced, so it’s refreshing when you get to spend quality time with the family and guests throughout the trip. The more you know about your subjects, the better the images and this is true for all genres of photography.

Go ahead and let loose once in a while, especially when the bridal party is willing to tag along.

Not every shot needs to be perfectly posed. If they wish to carry the bride sideways, then so be it.

If your client brought special props, then this would be a good time to feature them.

Water and camera don’t mix, what could possibly go wrong?

You can’t pose genuine smiles, expression trumps perfection always.

Have faith and execute when you get the opportunity

The plan was to shoot during sunrise or sunset for the best light but it ended up being overcast or raining the whole week. The interesting thing about the Caribbean weather is that it changes quickly, often from downpour to sunny, then rain again. Luck is indeed a factor, but you can only execute quickly when you have a plan in place. All the scouting, visualization and wardrobe discussion might end up being useful in the end.

We discussed featuring the red dress on the beach many weeks before departure, nothing is random. The white sand acted like a gigantic reflector so no fill light needed.

In my other article on wedding posing, I described how to combine focal lengths and orientations to capture a high number of keepers, fast.

Cinematographers tend to start with a wide shot to establish the scene.

Go closer with more emphasis on your subjects.

Even closer to focus on the facial expressions.

I also talked about being mindful of the horizon, here are some examples where things didn’t work out as planned:

The wet dress and the crashing waves contribute to the shot, but notice how the horizon cuts through both elbows and waistline, a big fail on my part.

Variation of the cover image where the bride is being lifted. Having the horizon slicing the subject at the neck is a definite no-no.

Join the dark side and embrace the darkness

We come full circle by revisiting the swimming pool at night. Don’t be intimidated by the darkness, even if all you have is one flash. Not dropping my gear into the water was a bigger concern as opposed to lighting.

No flash used to give an idea of the ambient light. Exposure: ISO 12800, F/2.8 and 1/50s. More separation needed but the long kiss with the water dripping was too romantic for me to interrupt.

Use a lower ISO and a faster shutter speed to render the background black. Off-camera flash as main light from the right side.

The blue water reflection was essential for composition. Expose for the ambient first, then add the appropriate amount of fill light for the subject. Off-camera flash used from the left side.

Now over to you! Shooting abroad always involves challenges and risks — how did you manage to get the job done? Any close encounters to share in the comments or am I the only person paranoid for losing my gear? Perhaps you are about to shoot your first destination assignment, drop us a line and see if we can help.

About the author: Jimmy Chan is a wedding photographer based in Montreal, Canada. The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author. You can find more of his work on his photography wedding business website, Pixelicious.

from Photography News https://petapixel.com/2018/07/05/destination-wedding-survival-guide-for-photographers/

[shieldfoss]

> #AND SALT WATER MAKES EVERYTHING 10X WORSE

I would simply avoid being salty about it.

when will i stop seeing posts of the genre "ah! you were supposed to automate away the BAD jobs, not the FUN CREATIVE ones! why not simply just [solve like 8 incredibly hard open problems in robotics] instead of [LLM thing]!"

like. sorry i apparently have to be the one to break this to you but the amount humans enjoy a task has basically zero correlation with how difficult it is to automate