#AND ITS FILLED WITH POTATOE MASH!!!
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Do non germans even know the joy of gemüsestäbchen? Aka fish sticks but instead of fish its veggies? Elite food.
#like peas corn carrot.... yum im gonna fry up some now actually#sham!s rambles#AND ITS FILLED WITH POTATOE MASH!!!
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I bought a chest freezer recently so I can finally indulge my grandma instincts of Make An Unreasonable Amount Of Food For Not Much Money And Eat Of It For Months
Today I bought two rotisserie chickens and made SIX large chicken pot pies (9" pie tins), used the leftover carcasses and have chicken stock going in the slow cooker, with enough leftover chicken meat and veg to make chicken rice soup tomorrow for DnD and probably have quite a bit to freeze as well.
#totaled up everything cost abt $35-40#including the foil pie tins because i did NOT have that many glass ones#which? for that much GOOD food? im quite proud#coulda done it for less if i hadnt used instant mashed potatoes but it saved enough hassle to be worth it#my family always made pot pie to use up leftovers from a Big Chicken Dinner#bottom 'crust' was mashed potatoes#middle filling was chicken bits and whatever veg we had mixed into the gravy#one crust on top#mom ALWAYS made her crusts by hand#but i decided to just use store bought ones#ive missed pot pie#but my teeny tiny freezers have never allowed for it really#because its most efficient when done in a Fuckoff Huge Batch#and my tiny amount of freezer and fridge space never made it worthwhile before
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still mad i paid 13$ for shrimp combo at popeyes and this fucker gave me a fist of shrimp. brother, i think the BISCUIT is bigger than the shrimp portion??? like the box was put in vertically in a paper bag and when i looked at it horizontally, the biscuit took up half the box and the shrimp took up the other half and only went up like, maybe halfway up the box. ive bought it before and it covered up the bottom of the box PLUS biscuit on top.
also i asked for another biscuit for a friend and i was like "i could pay" and it was like 1.75$. i did not pay.
popeyes is soooo good but jeezUS is it pricey now AND they skimp on the portions. i thought fast food was supposed to be cheap, this shit expensive. also i was still violently hungry after when normally i order and have enough left for the next day.
#coral yaps#delete later#hasnt been cheap in a WHILE#but its becoming pricey and skimpy like damn the economy cant be this bad#im wondering if its just weird staff bc theyve never done this before#most of the time they give me a bag where the box can lay flat and not say fuck it vertical and no food#but its pretty stinkin bad. i miss the other guy he was nice and gave good portions mmm yummy#rant#yes this is my stupid inconsequential rant i wanted MORE SHRIMP IT TASTES GOOD AF WHY WAS IT LESS FILLING THAN THE MASH POTATO AND BISCUIT#my MAIN COURSE!?
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*sees post discussing the struggles experienced by women due to no fault of their own, predominantly from asshole men and patriarchal values*
Oh my god, yes, this is good, people need to be aware of these issues so we can face them as a society and fix some of the problems no one of any gender should have to face.
*opens the comments*
"OmFg mEn HaVe iT HaRd ToO"
"WhAt aBoUt hOw WoMeN aLwAyS TeLl mEn To WaLk iT oFf"
"NoT aLl MeN"
How about you stfu, its not a competition and this isnt about you. Stop coming into womens spaces and inserting yourself for no reason.
#i cant stand this shiy like every single time i see someone complaining about issues they face on a gendered basis the comments are full of#shitty insecure men shitting on these poor women and talking about all of the problem men face like YES WE UNDERSTAND WE WERENT#INVALIDATING YOU WE NEVER SAID YOU DONT FACE PROBLEMS BUT THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT YOU SO DONT INSERT YOURSELF INTO#WOMENS PROBLEMS BECAUSE ITS NOT A COMPETITION YOU ABSOLUTE MASHED POTATO BRAINED MORON#Its not about you so stop filling the comments with your complaints about women#make your own post! make your own complaint or ask the creator to make one for men as well to explain things some women may not know#but theres no reason and i mean NONE AT ALL to invalidate the struggles women have to face on a day to day basis simply for being women#and when you say like yeah OBVIOUSLY you idiot they probably arent talking about ALL men but theyre talking about a massive#percentage of men which is big enough for it to be a global problem. stop making womens struggles all about you. it isnt. about. you.
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I have landed in poland
#mums havin a time tryna drive since its the other side of the road to back home#but so far we have made it to mcdonalds so#they have curly fries!! very exciting#more exciting is the wifi but#anyway 1.5h drive to get to our hotel (im so unbelievably happy to have a hotel rather than a booking.com apartment)#and then ab an hour before my grandmas brothers grandson picks us up to go for dinner#where I've been told they've mashed the potatoes for me#and some pierogi which Might be doable depending on the filling#i hope it is bc i fuckin love pierogi
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addition from @dont-worry-about-1t !
hi birds of paradise and of prey! I sincerely hope your 2024 has been kind to you so far, and if it hasn't, I hope it starts being fucking nicer soon. We got eyes on it and are ready to take it out should it fail.
I'm coming to the end of my list here soon, so if anyone has ideas on what they'd like to see next, please do hit me up! Even if its just a piece of media with interesting food in it and not a specific dish you wanna see. My roommate got me a recipe book from that TikTok fantasy tavern guy, "recipes from the lucky gryphon"? So we could also take a shot at a few of those, although im not really familiar with his work. Regardless-
We will be making Stuffed Cabbage from Lord of the Rings Online today!
(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)
MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS
SO, “what goes in to this Stuffed Cabbage?” YOU MIGHT ASKYou cant kinda put whatever you want for seasonings and even the meat filling. I used ground beef but pork and lamb are also stellar candidates.
Yellow onion
Garlic
2 eggs
Ground beef
Rice
A head of cabbage
Oregano
Thyme
Red pepper flakes
Cumin
Crushed tomato
Tomato sauce
AND, “what does this Stuffed Cabbage taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKBa bawsa
Very, very filling wow
2 rolls filled me up for a meal and i made about 20-ish from one head of cabage
A bit plain tbh, the texture is great but I'd really double up on the seasonings
A blank canvas for you to impart your spice preferences onto
Reheating makes it taste almost identical to fresh
Would pair well with a hot sauce dip
could also go well with an artichoke dip
If you run out of room and need to layer the rolls, I'd try experimenting with pouring some of the crushed tomato and sauce inbetween the stacked rolls. Otherwise the ones at the bottom lack a lot of the tomato flavor. However it might make the bottoms on the rolls laying ontop soggy?
. Where rice called for, used long grain white rice
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I've never blanched anything before. Theres not much western food that calls for it, meanwhile whenever my friend from malaysia shows a dish they ate, 9 times out of 10 the vegetables are blanched. Much easier process than the fancy name might suggest- boil water and dunk the thing in until its done. Whatever 'done' may be for the thing you are cooking.
Also for the ground beef (or whichever meat you use) you don't have to cook it beforehand, but in doing two tries at making these cabbage rolls i would recommend you at least season your meat before mixing it with everything else. The meat will cook to a safe temperature inside the cabbage rolls, i just prefer the taste and texture of it when cooked twice.
I give this recipe a meandering 7/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) I want to review more horrible recipes, truly i do, so that the rating scale isnt always a 6 and above, but whenever i try something horrible its like "why the fuck would i put all the effort into making and sharing a review of this thing i Do Not Want others to eat????" yknow?? Would people be interested in roasting horrible recipes?
🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁
Ingredients:
1 yellow onion
6 cloves of garlic
2 eggs
2 lbs ground beef
1 1/2 cup cooked rice
1 large head of cabbage
28oz crushed tomato
14oz tomato sauce
Oregano
Thyme
Red pepper flakes
Cumin
Salt/pepper
Method:
Saute garlic and onion in butter over medium heat until onions are caramelized. When done, remove from heat and let cool.
Season the beef to your liking with cumin, red pepper, and salt. Very, very lightly cook the beef in the same pan used for the garlic and onions. Cook until it starts to brown, but dont let it darken.
Beat eggs thoroughly with oregano, thyme, salt, and pepper.
Add all of the above ingredients together in a bowl with (cooked!) rice. Mix thoroughly then cover and let rest in the fridge.
Core and blanche your cabbage in boiling water, peeling them off as they become limp.
Once you've separated all the leaves, cut off any thick stems that would prevent the leaf from folding.
Put roughly 2 tablespoons of meat filling into each leaf. Fold the sides of the leaf inwards and roll it up. Place each cabbage roll seam-down into a casserole dish.
If they don't all fit in one layer, its more than okay to stack. Try not to stack more than 2 layers though.
Once you've used all the cabbage, take your can of tomatos and pour them over the rolls. Mix some oregano into the tomato sauce and pour that over the rolls as well.
Bake uncovered in the oven at 350 for about 2 hours. Dont worry if a bit of tomato on top looks burnt.
IF REHEATING LEFTOVERS: Bake 10 cabbage rolls in the oven at 320 for about 40 minutes. Reduce time for less rolls.
#i did base this off of golabki and using the lord of the rings online ingredients for its cabbage rolls#though those used potatos and i couldnt find a good way to integrate potatos without serving them on the side or just mashing them for fill#also oregano is marjoram just what we call it in the states
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BBB
Natasha Romanoff x Beefy!Sergeant!Reader*
18+ only read at your own risk
Word count: 3248
Requested by anon: Hi i love your work..you don't have to do this request if you don't want.. i was kind of was wondering since we haven't heard from Sergeant Nat and reader. If we could hear from them? I was thinking since Nat is always the confident reassured one in that universe like maybe something happens where shes not sure where she stand with reader? Like jealous or maybe reader lets one of her military friends borrow her laptop and they use it to watch porn...and nat finds it and thinks its reader. And nat kind of loses her mind in a way that we havent seen. (Not like crazy but for the first time shes like am i enough). And reader is high key oblivious bc she worships nat. Some communication to sort out and then smutty times. Only if you want. If not i look forward to whatever you post yay.
AN: *Reader has a penis, no pronouns used.
Thanks for the idea, anon! This was a lot of fun to write. :)
This is Part 5 in my Sergeant Beef series. Read the first one here.
“Hey, can I borrow your laptop?” Sam asks, poking his head into your room.
“Why?” You don’t even look at him, focused on you video game on the tiny television mounted to your wall.
“I dropped mine in the lake, so I had to buy a new one but it won’t get shipped off until later this week,” Sam explains.
“Okay,” you say, hardly listening to him as you race your little car across the screen to bump the giant soccer ball towards the goal. “It’s in my room on the–”
“I know where it is. Thanks.” Sam whisks in and helps himself.
“Close the door on your way out!” you call, just in time to hear the door slam behind him. Turning your whole focus back to your game, your fingers mash the buttons to a triumphant win.
***********************************************************************
A few days later, Natasha is over at your apartment. While the two of you had discussed a thousand times moving in together, you had always stalled or walked around the subject. Natasha wasn’t sure if it was because you were nervous what the public’s perception would be of your relationship, or if you preferred your own private space too much to give it up. Ever since the deployment, you had been more likely to retreat and hide away (even from Natasha) when you were upset or moody. She wondered if it was a side effect of your PTSD, but you never seemed ready for that conversation so she left it alone.
For dinner, you grilled some steaks (setting off the smoke detector in your apartment) while Natasha made a side of mashed potatoes and green beans. Afterwards, you went to take a shower while Natashas lounged around and found a movie on Netflix for the two of you to watch. She sits on the couch, opening your laptop and finding the web browser. She looks up Netflix and then browses through the recommendations on your home page, but none of them pique her interest.
She goes onto Google to search what other people are recommending and wades through a sea of titles and descriptions to find one. Swapping back and forth between tabs, she finds a website with a host of titles and flips back and forth until she finds a movie that is both on the list and currently on Netflix. But in the process, she loses track of the tab and accidentally closes it, silently cursing to herself, before going to check the history to find it again.
But what she finds in the history is not what she had been looking for.
Natasha feels almost scandalized when she sees the words “big busty blondes” in your search history, followed by a list of pornsites. While she knew you watched such videos in her absence, she didn’t know what genre you were into, and now a deep sinking feeling of insecurity fills her. She was not blonde, nor was she particularly busty after the years of hard workouts had shrank some of her assets a little. You always told her she had the perfect body, but now she wasn’t quite sure if she should believe you.
“Nat? Did you pick a movie?” You poke your head out of the bathroom. You’re not wearing a shirt and your wet hair is dripping water down your chest, emphasizing the lines of your muscles. Natasha can see the bullet scar on your ribs from the deployment that almost ended your life. But you walked away with every member of your team alive, and your tale of bravery had become something of a living legend in the community.
She knows you could have any woman you wanted. She had seen the way the recruits eyed you and how bold the other brass were with you. Before your promotion to sergeant, you were often overlooked and completely ignored. Natasha, perhaps a little selfishly, always considered herself the catch in your relationship: she was one of a handful of female sergeants with outstanding credentials, and looked great in and out of a uniform. But maybe she thought too highly of herself. You had developed into a very competent sergeant, were extremely good-looking, and had the most lovable personality anyone could ask for.
What if you didn’t want her anymore? What if you wanted someone younger, or someone you could start a family with? Natasha hadn’t yet disclosed to you her inability to have children, but if the subject ever came up, she knew you’d need no other excuse to walk away.
“Nat? Did you pick out a movie?” you ask again.
“Yes,” Natasha says. “We can watch Trolls.”
“Okay. That sounds fun.”
You come out in a sweatshirt with matching gray sweatpants and join Natasha on the couch. Instinctively, you put your arm around her shoulder and she snuggles against you, letting you rest your head against hers.
You seem to enjoy the goofy children’s movie, laughing out loud at the jokes and cheering when the main characters hug by the end. But Natasha can’t focus for a second, still thinking about the search history on your laptop. She didn’t even know if it was something she should bring up, but it was already eating her alive to think that she wasn’t good enough for you.
Natasha didn’t know if she would be able to survive without you. She would have to do everything she could to keep you by her side.
***********************************************************************
“Give me a sec,” Natasha calls, hurriedly slipping her boots on. She checks herself in the mirror one final time before opening her apartment door to see you.
“Hi, Nat–oh.” Your expression goes flat.
“What’s wrong?” Natasha asks, her stomach twisting in knots. Maybe this had been a bad idea.
“You dyed your hair,” you say, blinking at the short blonde hair she was now sporting.
“You don’t like it?” she asks, her worry growing by the second. She had dropped a significant sum at the salon on base to cut and dye her hair. Perhaps this had been a severe overreaction on her part.
“Oh. No, um, it looks very nice,” you stutter.
Natasha is not convinced in the slightest. Her face flushes red and she bites her lip to stop herself from crying in frustration. “That’s okay,” she mutters more to herself than you. “Where are we going again?” she asks, even though she knows every detail of the outing she had planned with you.
“The gym first, then we can get lunch and go grab groceries,” you list off, seemingly oblivious to her awkwardness.
“Yes, that’s right. Okay, let’s go,” she replies sullenly.
***********************************************************************
Natasha isn’t sure what else she can do to hold your attention after the hair dying incident. She tries to be extra doting with you, but all of her efforts seem to go completely unnoticed. You only say “thank you” once when she gets you your favorite chocolate bar from the commissary. The next time the two of you are in bed together, Natasha feels like she has to guide you through all the motions and you fuck her with a concerningly low level of enthusiasm. Natasha is convinced you’ve found someone else and just the thought of losing you makes her sick.
She’s nearly sent over the edge when she finally gets a text from you:
From Y/N: Can you come over tonight? I want to talk
Natasha feels like the rug has been pulled out from under her feet. Sweat breaks out on her forehead and her stomach starts to hurt like she had a bad meal. What if she just didn’t go to see you? Would you really still break up with her over text?
Her body seems to have a mind of her own as she responds:
To Y/N: Ok
***********************************************************************
“Thanks for coming over,” you say, welcoming Natasha into your apartment. She steps in guardedly, wondering if you’re hiding your new girlfriend under the couch. Or maybe she’s already in your bed. She shuffles down the hallway to subtly peer into your bedroom, which is empty.
“What did you want to talk about?” Natasha isn’t one to dance around the elephant in the room. Besides, she doesn’t want to draw this out any longer than it needs to be.
“Oh. Um…” You sound caught off guard. “Well, I was thinking that–”
“You want to break up with me.” Natasha can’t stop the tears forming in her eyes. She wipes them away, angry at herself for showing such weakness already.
“What? What makes you think that?” Your shock is so genuine, Natasha almost wants to believe you.
Natasha hides her face behind her hand. “I saw it on your laptop last week. The kind of porn you were watching–”
“Porn? I use incognito,” you say. “Unless that doesn’t actually hide things…” you add in a mumble.
“Your search history said you looked up…” Natasha takes a breath. “‘Big busty blondes,’” she repeats, hating the way the words sound off her tongue.
“What?” You sound confused now. “That’s…I don’t watch that kind of stuff. Wait, is that why you dyed your hair blonde?”
“No,” Natasha lies. “But I saw it on your laptop!” she insists, hastily changing the subject.
You pause for a moment, then start shaking your head with a chuckle. “I’m gonna rip him a new one,” you mutter. Then louder, you explain, “Sam borrowed my laptop last week because his was broken. I’m guessing he used it to…you know…” Your expression turns into one of disgust, and Natasha matches it.
“Oh. So, you’re not into big busty blondes?” Natasha is embarrassingly desperate for clarification.
“No, I’m not.” You take a step towards her and hold out your hands. “But I do have a thing for hot redheads who could totally kick my butt.”
“I know,” Natasha says, taking your hands and leaning up to kiss you. Her lips lift into a smile when you return her kiss with more passion than you had all week, wrapping your arms around her and pulling her flush against you. You dig your fingers into her thighs, lightly rolling your hips, and when she feels your hard bulge against her stomach and all of her doubts are cast away immediately. Her face burns in shame when she realizes how quickly she had jumped to the wrong conclusion. You weren’t going anywhere. You were totally in love with her and wanted no one else.
“Wait, so what did you want to talk about?” Natasha asks, trying to ignore the arousal building in her core as you hump her.
“Oh! Um…” Your face reddens, as if you’re so turned on yourself you forgot why you asked her to come. “Uh…I wanted to ask if…you would like to move in with me? Or if I could move into your apartment? Or we could find a new place together…”
Natasha feels like she’s gotten whiplash from the subject change. She had come here thinking you were breaking up with her, but instead you actually wanted to move in with her? Just when she had thought it was never going to happen.
“Why the change?” she asks.
You shrug your massive shoulders. “We spend so much time together as it is. And I was mostly nervous because you know I have those night terrors a lot, but…” You sigh. “I realized I get them a lot less when I wake up next to you.” Natasha wants to melt in your arms. “And it would be really nice if I got to wake up next to you every day. And eat every meal with you. And–”
Natasha cuts you off with a hard kiss. “Yes,” she pants, groping for the tie on your sweatpants and pulling them down. “Of course I’ll move in with you.”
“Nat,” you whine when she grabs your cock. She feels it throb in her hand and her arousal spikes. As high as her own sex drive was, there was little else that turned Natasha on more than to see how excited you were for her. She pushes you towards the bedroom and you understand without needing words, obediently sitting down on your bed and pulling you on top of her. You grunt when her weight lands on your thighs and Natasha immediately props herself on her knees; sometimes she forgets about the injury on your right thigh that still causes you pain sometimes.
“Sorry baby,” she whispers while leaning in to kiss your cheek. It had been a long and sometimes frustrating journey to get back to the same level of intimacy the two of you shared after the deployment ambush and your recovery. The medicines you were on had drastically affected your mood (and performance) and there were still some positions you could no longer do because of the strain it put on your body. But Natasha had been patient and gentle with you, even when all she wanted to do was fuck you senseless. Over time your strength and stamina had come back, and Natasha was thrilled you could still please her in bed.
She leans back and takes her shirt off while you mirror her. You’re almost back to your weight as before the deployment, but the physical therapy has encouraged you to work out even harder, so you are more muscular and toned than before. Natasha eyes your body hungrily, her hand reaching out to trace the scar on your ribs. While she hates the memory attached to your scar, she can appreciate how much more badass it makes you look.
“Nat,” you say, and she breaks out of her thoughts. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes.” She pushes you to lie on your back, rolling her clothed lower body against yours. “Everything is very okay.” Her hands skate across your warm skin, squeezing your biceps before resting on your chest, balancing herself as she rocks back and forth. Even though you’re still wearing boxers, Natasha can feel the hardness of your dick pressing against her butt.
“All ready for me?” she hums, digging her nails lightly into your chest.
“Always,” you respond, rolling your hips to match her rhythm.
“Hmm.” Natasha contemplates how she wants you today. You almost never call the shots in bed, but you have no problem with Natasha taking control most of the time. She likes how submissive you are to her and your willingness to please her even at your own expense. But she isn’t feeling selfish today and wants you to relax and enjoy too.
Her body seems to have a mind of its own as she humps along your abs, eventually pushing her panties to the side so you can feel her heat on your stomach.
“Nat,” you whine, gripping onto her waist to guide her movements.
“Just let me ride you,” she says, lifting off of you for a moment to remove her panties completely, and the two of you moan when she settles back on you. You flex your abs until Natasha swears she could grate cheese on them. She angles her hips back and widens her legs so she can drag her pussy along the ridges of your abs, smearing her wetness everywhere. “Fuck, you feel so good, baby,” she moans.
“So do you,” you say, your hands tightening around her waist.
Natasha moves her hips faster, sliding back until she can feel your cock practically poking a hole through your boxers. She’s just warming herself (and you) up and doesn’t want to rush to the main event. But as she hears your whines and feels the tension in your body, all she wants is for you to flip her over and fuck her until she can’t walk.
“Can you do exactly what I ask you to?” Natasha pants, the building arousal in her stomach almost painful now.
“Yes,” you gasp. “Yes, Sergeant. Whatever you want.”
The use of Natasha’s title makes her pussy clench around nothing. Her body aches for you and she’s done playing around.
“Good. I want you to get on your knees and fuck me,” she demands, abruptly climbing off of you and presenting her backside to you. You scramble to obey, wasting no time lining up your cock with her soaking pussy and pushing in eagerly. Natasha inhales sharply when your length stretches her out, filling her perfectly and reaching places she could never reach with her hand or a toy. When you start moving your hips, she whimpers and moans, gripping handfuls of the bedsheets so you don’t slam her into the headboard.
She spasms around you with every stroke, clenching tightly and trying to draw you in as deep as you can go. Natasha loves to hear you moan, knowing she was the cause of them, and more of her slick leaks out around your cock.
“Fuck, Nat,” you grunt, your thighs slapping against her butt with every thrust. “You always feel amazing.”
“Harder,” she begs. “I want you to cum when I do.”
“I’ll try,” you respond, your breathing ragged as you start to falter in your rhythm.
“Fuck, you’re in me so deep,” Natasha moans, wishing that despite your already above-average size, you had more to give her. She lets go of the bedsheets and slips her hand down between her legs, rubbing her clit for added stimulation. “Don’t you dare stop,” she warns, noticing the way your legs are shaking and your thrusts are losing their power.
“I won’t,” you whimper, and Natasha is not convinced you’ll be able to last much longer. Her hand glides back up to her stomach, where she can feel the bulge of your cock through her skin. That alone nearly sends her over the edge, but she has one more request from you.
“Bite me,” Natasha pants, motioning to her right trapezius muscle. Normally, she is very against you marking her during sex because she doesn’t want to worry about hiding them, but now she is panting at the thought of you finally staking your claim on her.
“Bite you?” you say, sounding extremely timid.
“Yes!” she growls, not wanting to repeat herself. “If you don’t bite me, I won’t let you cum.”
You moan and tighten your grip on her waist. Natasha feels your cock throbbing inside her, but she knows you won’t finish without her permission. The bed creaks as your weight shifts and she feels your chest press against her back as you lean over her. She hums in anticipation, feeling your breath across the back of her shoulder. Your teeth graze her skin lightly, your hesitancy obvious.
“Y/N,” she moans, pushing back into you and squeezing your length. “If you don’t fucking bite me–”
Your teeth suddenly clamp down sharply and Natasha keens, gushing around you and not even noticing you finish inside her. White spots of pure pleasure burst behind her eyelids and she feels cum drip down her thighs. It feels like she’s riding out the high forever, but when she finally unwinds, she feels your weight pressing into her back and a dull stinging in her shoulder. She twists her head to see the clear imprint of your teeth in her skin, the flesh reddening already.
“Sorry if that was too hard,” you say softly, as if you’re embarrassed by following her instructions.
“Nonsense,” she says, reaching behind her to cup the back of your neck. She pulls your head down against hers and nuzzles against your cheek. “Next time, you can bite me harder.”
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AN: Sorry to Sam lol
Please like, reblog, and comment! Follow for more content. 🥰
#natasha romanoff#black widow#natasha romanoff smut#natasha romanoff imagine#sergeant beef au#natasha romanoff x reader
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Hi sweetheart🫶🏻🤍
I was wondering if you could do a Hugh Jackman x kind! fem reader, where he's having a tiring day and comes back home. You've cooked him a nice dinner and made pumpkin spiced cinnamon rolls for desert🫶🏻He appreciates the settlement and wants to give something back, but it was his night.
I love your fics bbg <3
A warm fall night
Hugh jackman x fem!reader
Warnings: smut/fluff, minors dni!
P in v (wrap it up guys), creampie, oral m!receiving, couch sex , slight mention of alcohol (not too much), reader has hair lmk if I forgot something🙏🏼
masterlist
A/n: hi bb! Thank you sm for always supporting me! 🫶🏻 sorry it took so long, but I hope u like this💋
The door to your home creaked open softly, and you heard the familiar shuffle of shoes against the doormat as Hugh stepped inside. The late evening sun cast an orange glow through the windows, but the air carried the first crisp hints of autumn. You glanced up from the kitchen counter, already knowing by the way he moved that it had been a long day. His shoulders were hunched with exhaustion, and the usual spark in his eyes had dimmed.
“Hey,” you greeted warmly, putting down the dish towel and walking over to him. “You’re home.”
Hugh turned toward you, his smile small but genuine. “Yeah. Finally,” he said, his deep voice gravelly with fatigue. He placed his bag by the door and kicked off his shoes, letting out a heavy breath. He looked so worn down, and all you wanted was to make sure he left his troubles at the door tonight.
“You look tired honey” you observed softly, reaching up to smooth your hand across his arm in a comforting gesture.
“Long day. I feel like I’ve been running on fumes,” he admitted, leaning into your touch. “But it’s better now.” His eyes found yours, full of gratitude already.
“Well, I thought you might need something nice to come home to,” you said, guiding him toward the kitchen table. “Sit down and relax. I made your favourite." He sat down and looked up at you,"you are my favourite"
Hugh looked at the food and raised a brow, and a slight smile tugged at the corner of his lips despite his tiredness. “You didn’t have to go to all this trouble.”
“Of course I did,” you replied with a soft laugh. “You’ve been working so hard lately, I wanted to make sure you could unwind tonight.”
The table was set simply but beautifully, with candles flickering in the center and a hearty meal waiting for him. Grilled chicken, roasted vegetables, and buttery mashed potatoes, comfort food at its finest. You placed a glass of red wine in front of him, watching as he took it all in. He looked touched, almost overwhelmed for a moment.
“This looks incredible,” he murmured, eyes flicking back to you. “I can’t tell you how much I needed this.”
“You don’t have to,” you said, smiling as you sat down across from him. “Just enjoy it.”
As Hugh dug into the meal, you could see the tension start to leave his body. Each bite seemed to relax him a little more, and you felt a sense of satisfaction just watching him unwind. It was rare for him to take a moment for himself; he was always giving so much to everyone else, always on the go. Tonight, though, you were determined to make sure he felt appreciated.
After a while, you cleared the plates and returned to the kitchen, a playful grin on your face. “I hope you saved some room,” you called over your shoulder.
“For what?” Hugh asked, leaning back in his chair, his interest piqued.
You turned around, holding a tray of pumpkin spiced cinnamon rolls, the golden-brown swirls drizzled with a light glaze, still warm from the oven. The sweet scent of cinnamon and nutmeg filled the air, instantly making the room feel cozier.
His eyes widened as you set the tray down on the table. “You made these? You’ve been busy.”
“Just wanted to make sure dessert was special too,” you said, sliding one of the rolls onto a plate and handing it to him. “Pumpkin spice is perfect this time of year, don’t you think?”
Hugh chuckled, taking a bite and closing his eyes in pure enjoyment. “You’re spoiling me tonight,” he said, his voice filled with warmth. “These are amazing.”
You sat down next to him, watching him enjoy the dessert, your heart swelling with affection. There was something so satisfying about knowing you’d given him a bit of comfort after such a hard day.
Hugh took your hand across the table, his fingers gently tracing patterns on the back of your palm. “I don’t know how you do it,” he said softly. “You always seem to know exactly what I need.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” you replied, smiling as you squeezed his hand. “Tonight’s all about you. You give so much of yourself to everyone, I just wanted to make sure you get a little something back.”
He was quiet for a moment, his thumb brushing gently against your skin as he looked at you with a deep sense of appreciation. “You don’t know how much that means to me. I’m so lucky to have you.”
You could see it in his eyes, the weariness fading, replaced by something softer, more relaxed. He had needed this—a night to feel cared for, a night where he didn’t have to be “on” or worry about anyone else.
After dessert, you led him over to the couch, the soft glow of the candles still flickering in the background as you settled down beside him. He stretched out, pulling you into his arms, and you both melted into the cushions, the warmth of the evening wrapping around you.
“This,” Hugh said quietly, his arm draped over your shoulders as you leaned into him, “is perfect. I feel like I haven’t had a chance to just... be in a while.”
You nestled closer, your head resting on his chest as you listened to the steady beat of his heart. “You deserve it. No need to do anything tonight. Just relax.”
Hugh chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I know it’s supposed to be my night, but I can’t help it. I want to give something back.”
You tilted your head up to look at him, smiling. “You being here is more than enough.”
But he wasn’t having it. Gently, he shifted, pulling you on his lap and his lips found yours in a soft, lingering kiss. When he pulled back, his voice was low and sincere. “You make everything better, you know that?”
You shifted slightly in his lap, feeling the warmth of his body beneath yours. As you moved, you could feel him growing beneath you, the subtle shift in his breath giving him away. His hands instinctively tightened around your waist, pulling you closer as you began to gently grind against him, your movements slow and deliberate.
A soft groan escaped his lips, his head falling back as he gave in to the sensation, eyes fluttering closed. The way he responded to you, completely immersed, sent a thrill through your body. You reveled in the control you held, the connection building between you.
But just as the heat began to build, you slowly pulled away, rising from his lap with a teasing smile playing at the corners of your lips. His eyes opened, clouded with desire as he watched your every move. Without breaking the gaze, you reached down, undoing the button of his pants, your fingers deft and patient.
You freed him gently, your touch light and careful, feeling the weight of the moment between you. You knelt before him, your lips finding his dick.
Each sound he made, each quiet groan or sharp intake of breath—spurred you on, filling the room with a charged energy. His hand flew to your hair, his fingers tangled in the strands as he guided you with barely perceptible movements, letting you set the pace. Every motion was filled with deliberate care, a mixture of affection and desire growing stronger between you.
You could feel the tension in his body mounting, the way his muscles tensed beneath your touch. His breathing became heavier, ragged with anticipation, and you knew he was close. His hips bucked slightly, and the warmth of his body against you sent a wave of satisfaction coursing through you. You could sense him nearing the edge, so you quickened your pace, eager to give him everything he wanted.
But then, just as his breathing hitched and his grip in your hair tightened, he suddenly stopped you. His hand slid from your hair to your chin, gently lifting your face to meet his gaze. The intensity in his eyes made your heart race, your breath catching as you realized how close he was. A soft whine escaped your lips, the loss of contact leaving you yearning for more, but his gaze, dark and full of desire, held you in place.
“Not yet,” he murmured, his voice low and husky, thick with need. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip, making you shiver in anticipation. “I want you to ride me, babygirl.”
The way he said it, so calm yet commanding, sent a thrill through you. You bit your lip, a flush of heat rising in your chest as your mind raced. Without a word, you nodded and took your pants off, a smile playing on your lips as you shifted your weight and moved to straddle him. His hands immediately found your waist, guiding you into position, his fingers digging into your skin in a way that made your pulse quicken.
Slowly, you lowered yourself onto him, the feeling of him beneath you igniting every nerve in your body. His low groan vibrated through the air, and you felt his grip tighten as you sank down fully, taking him in. For a moment, you stayed still, letting the intensity of the connection settle between you both. The room was filled with quiet breaths and the electric hum of anticipation, each of you lost in the feeling of the other.
His hands slid from your waist up your sides, fingers grazing your skin as he urged you to move. You began to roll your hips, slowly at first, finding a rhythm that matched the deep, unspoken connection between you. His head fell back against the couch, his eyes closing as he let out a soft, guttural moan. The way he reacted to your every movement, the way his body responded so naturally to yours, only encouraged you to go further.
As you moved, your hands found his chest, your fingers tracing the lines of his muscles beneath his shirt. The friction, the closeness—it all felt so perfect, like the two of you were made for this moment. His hands never left your body, guiding you, lifting you, as you moved together in sync. His breath was ragged now, his voice low and strained as he whispered your name, filling the space between groans of pleasure.
The pace quickened, and the tension between you built with every movement, each of you caught in a loop of need and desire. His hands gripped your waist tighter, pulling you closer, urging you on. Your bodies moved in perfect unison, your breath mingling with his, the closeness of it all making your heart race.
Your pace quickened even more as you felt him tense beneath you, his grip on you becoming almost desperate. His groans grew louder, and you knew he was close again—this time, you weren’t going to stop. You leaned forward, pressing your forehead against his, your lips barely brushing his as you whispered, “I’ love you.”
With that, everything between you seemed to reach its peak. His body responded to yours in perfect rhythm, and together you chased your realease, both completely enveloped in the heat of each other. "I love you to sweetheart. So much.."he moaned as he came into you.
The rest of the night was spent in quiet bliss, the two of you wrapped in each other’s presence. Hugh’s exhaustion slowly faded as the night wore on, replaced by a calm contentment. For once, he wasn’t thinking about work or responsibilities, just you, and the warmth of the home you had created together.
As you both drifted off into sleep, tangled in each other’s arms, you couldn’t help but feel that tonight had been exactly what he needed. A reminder that no matter how hard the world was on him, there was always a place for him to rest, always a place where he was cherished. And that place was with you.
taglist (dm if u wanna be added): @ermlady @elloredef @haytchee @melaninjoys @megangovier @blue2jay @hearts4suri @narniabusinessbitch @jadenlyday25 @getmeoutofhell @rockytheluver @stark-ironman @shellbilee @kurcoswife @ru-kru @corvusmorte
#hugh jackman#hugh jackman smut#wolverine smut#wolverine#marvel smut#logan howlett smut#logan howlett#hugh jackman x reader
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06:50 PM — Nanami Kento
"Fried or grilled chicken for dinner?"
"Uhm—" a grunt can be heard from the other line, followed by the sounds of slashing and inhuman shrieks. He must still be busy. "Uhm, grilled is good, love. What you're thinking for side dish?"
"Cheesy mashed potatoes and tomato sauce, just the way you like it." You close the fridge door, holding the phone with your free hand while the other arm carries the pot of fresh seasoned chicken you prepared a few hours ago. You organize the counter with all the ingredients, pan pre-heating with butter.
"Perfect." There are a few more distant grunts, but you can still understand your husband's approval, making you proceed with your dinner plans. "Don't forget to lower the heat, in case you want to practice your dance moves again."
"It was just once, Kento!" You sulk, not like being called out for grooving in the kitchen. Did you burn a few things back then? Yes, but who didn't? It was your favorite pop playlist, your body went on its own!
Making sure your phone stays still well between your ear and shoulder blade, you land the first filet of chicken breast on the hot pan, a not-so-usual sizzling sound taking place in the room. Yep, let's definitely lower the heat, you move your fingers around the knob. "I won't burn our food again, smarty pants. Stop bullying your wife."
But you can't stay mad at him for too long. Not when you feel his deep, breathless chuckles flowing right inside your ear, into your mind and heart, making your stomach flutter like a scholar girl just like every single time. "I'm sorry love, you're right. Your food 's heaven, burned or not."
Letting out a last huff, you roll your eyes, feeling your lips curve in a lopsided smile. You bet Nanami has a similar one on his face right now. "How long 'til you come home?"
There's a small pause, filled with lowly breaths and the far sound of crickets. Maybe he finished what he was dealing with. "45 minutes from now. Think you can hold tight?"
"You're not deserving, but I'll make an effort." Now you hear the perfect form of a snicker, making you wish you could kiss it away and fill that pretty cheeky face with even more kisses. You miss your husband. "Come safe, 'kay? I'll see you soon."
"See you soon, love. Stay safe."
And the red finish button is pressed. Nanami carefully returns the device inside his pocket, now investing his whole attention on the last, persistent curse gaping at him behind a pillar, thinking it could catch him out of guard.
Rubbing of the remains of blood coming from a small cut on his jaw, he roughly loosen the tight knot of his tie that you so lovingly did this morning. He needs to move without restraints if he wants to get the next subway, though.
"Let's finish for today, shall we?"
And like every weekday, Kento makes it on time.
© asunflowerana 2024
#i'm not giddy you are#w.jjk#jjk x reader#jjk#jujustu kaisen#jujustsu kaisen x reader#nanami x reader#nanami kento#nanami kento x reader#jjk nanami#nanami fluff#nanami x you#nanami x y/n#kento x reader#kento x you#{ bouquet }
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My Particular Girl
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: N/A
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 0.7K
Summary: Y/N needs things to be done a certain way and Rafe understands that.
Masterlist
Y/N likes things done in a particular. It’s the way her brain works. People often look at her and call her childish for the things she does to cater to these needs. Because of those people, she started to believe that she had no chance of finding love. Who would want to date someone who was so picky with the things are? Then Rafe came along to show her she doesn’t need to change; instead, it is the partner who should try to be open-minded and help her out. And Rafe really does try to do everything he can to help Y/N out.
———
Y/N sits with her little cousins in the living room, listening to them recount the story behind the drawings they are currently working on. She doesn’t know where Rafe went off too, but if she knows anything about him, he is probably off trying to win brownie points with her relatives. “And this is going to be us when you and Rafe take us to the beach,” Sophie recounts, holding up the picture. Y/N’s mouth drops open, “Wow, that looks amazing.” “We look like we are having so much fun,” Rafe adds, kissing Y/N’s temple from behind the couch. She stretches her head back to see Rafe. He is holding two plates in his hands and he rounds the couch to sit beside his girlfriend. He holds out a plate for her. She notices that her plate is different from his. It is one of the special sectioned plates from their home. He catches her examining eyes and worries he got something wrong. “Did I do something wrong? Each component is in its place. I separated the mashed potatoes, the steak and the vegetables,” he starts to tangent. “Should I have separated the mixed veggies too? I knew I should’ve separated them. I know you like to be able to identify the different textures easily.”
Her hands stop him from rising to fix what he thinks is a mistake. “No, it’s okay. You got everything right. I was just surprised you brought one of my plates. Thank you,” she reassures him, giving him a kiss. He wraps his arm around her shoulder and starts eating, “You’re welcome. I’m glad I got it right.”
———
They knock on the door but don’t wait for it to be opened by someone inside before entering the unlocked house. “Yo, Top. We’re here,” Rafe announces with a booming voice. It’s just a little get-together so the couple takes their shoes off. Right as they are about to step deeper into the house, Y/N sees the carpeted floor of the house. She can already feel the uncomfortableness of the rug tickling the bottom of her feet and she flinches at the thought. Rafe gently holds her back by her shoulder, “Wait here, I have to get something from the car.” She waits for him at the entrance, preparing herself to walk barefoot on the rug. He jogs back inside and places something on the ground. Her eyes dart down to see slippers. “Where did you get these?” she questions while putting them on. He kisses her on the cheek, “I bought new slippers to keep in the back of my trunk for this exact reason.” Warmth fills Y/N and she wraps her arms around his neck. “Thank you.”
———
Y/N rests on the couch and watches as Rafe folds the laundry. Each article of clothing is folded exactly how she likes it with crisp edges. While she appreciates how attentive he is, worry starts to creep inside of her. What if he starts to realize that all the things he does to keep things to her taste are a waste of time? What if he starts to think she is too high-maintenance? He can see the gears turning in her head. “What’s wrong, Sweetheart?” he asks, leaning over to kiss her. She bows her head, “What if you break up with me because you get tired of having to do things a certain way for me like I am a child?” Rafe places what he is folding down and moves to the same couch as her. He brings her into a hug, attacking her face with kisses. “That would never happen because I love taking care of you. You are my particular girl and I would not trade you for anything in the world,” he promises.
Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @victory-in-the-llama @starkowswife @drewsmusee @maybankslover
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#outer banks#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe obx#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fluff#rafe fic#rafe imagine#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe fluff#outerbanks rafe#outerbanks#outer banks x reader#outer banks rafe#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks imagine#obx#obx fic#obx fanfiction#obx fanfic#obx imagine#obx x reader
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Sweet as Pie
Label Mature 18+
🎃 Kinktober One Shot 🎃
Summary It’s Halloween night, and you surprise Gale with your costume of choice—a seductive black cat, complete with ears, and a tail. He’s so riled up upon seeing you wear it that he affectionately starts calling you kitten, and instead of heading to the party as planned, he tries to keep you as a sweet treat all to himself.
🔗 Master List
💝Romantic smut 💝 Heavy petting• oral on fem• fingering •P in V • mating press •orgasms •cream pie
Sweet as Pie
The sun sets below the horizon on Halloween night, casting a warm, amber glow through the kitchen. You’ve just finished clearing the table after a hearty supper of chicken a l'orange, fluffy mashed potatoes in rich gravy, and butter sautéed greens.
As you pull the warm pumpkin pie cooling on the stovetop, the sweet fragrance fills the kitchen, a delightful mix of cinnamon and nutmeg that wafts in the air.
Gale is seated at the head of the dinner table wearing a plain white T-shirt accentuating his broad shoulders and muscular arms, his green officers jacket draped over his chair.
His face is as stunning as ever—strong and defined, his features softened by the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his full lips. His sandy blonde hair is combed back, neatly in place, with just enough length to show its natural wave, giving him an effortlessly handsome, boyish charm.
As he sits there, relaxed but attentive, he looks every bit the dreamboat, the man you’d cross any room to be near. And the way he looks at you, with a mix of gratitude and desire, makes you feel as if giving him everything he needs is the easiest and most natural thing in the world.
While you carefully lean over the table to set the pie down Gale’s eyes instinctively fall to the tempting curve of cleavage spilling from your blouse then his eyes slowly travel back up, savoring every detail as he takes you in, the heat of his look making your heart race, under his appreciative gaze.
“You look like a dream, sweetheart,” he complements his voice velvety-soft, and you can’t help contain the grin that spreads across your face as you slice him a piece and bring it over to his plate.
“Thank you, Gale,” you say appreciatively, your gaze lingering on him as the look in his eyes makes your cheeks flush a deeper shade.
You take your seat across the table, giving him an affectionate glance as you settle in, and the two of you begin eating dessert together.
Gale savors every last bite of your homemade pie, his eyes locking with yours as he licks the last bit of filling off his thumb. The way he does it is so disarmingly makes your lips part, wishing for that attention elsewhere. A glint of mischief lights up his blue eyes as he catches it, and he leans back in his chair, giving you a knowing grin.
“You know, sweetheart,” he drawls watching as you reach for his empty plate, “I think you might make a sweeter dessert than this pie.” he praises.
You feel a rush of warmth flooding your cheeks, and before you can respond, he pulls you down onto his lap, his hands finding your waist as he draws you close.
He leans in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your neck, a grin playing at his lips. “Much sweeter,” he confirms, his fingers giving you a playful squeeze that makes your insides flutter.
“Gale, please… behave ,” you request, your voice soft and breathy as his lips trail along your neck while you try to calm yourself. “We won’t make it to the Halloween dance if you keep this up…and then… you won’t get to see what I’ve chosen as my costume.”
Your words are laced with a hint of longing, and he stops kissing your neck leaning back as you look up at him with your softest doe eyes.
He pouts not getting his way and you reach up, gently brushing his lower lip with a teasing smile. “Let me finish up the dishes so we can go,” you tell him, and with a reluctant sigh, he finally releases you, watching as you slip from his lap.
While you do the dishes scrubbing away, you can feel his eyes on you—steady and hungry—watching your every move as he sips his brandy.
He knocks the last of it back in one swallow, the clink of the glass setting on the table letting you know he’s finished. You barely place the last dish in the drying rack before Gale is behind you, his hands warm as they slide over your waist, pulling you close.
“What if you wear your costume just for me tonight?” he whispers, his voice low and rich, his breath warm against your ear as his lips brush just below it, sending a wave of arousal through you.
You lean into him tilting your head back on his chest. “Would you like that Gale?” you ask, your voice softer, half-tempted to stay right there and forget the night’s plans.
His eyes gleam with excitement he can barely contain as his hand slips to your waist. “Go put it on for me.” He whispers, his voice thick with anticipation as his hands trail a path down your hips.
“Cause’ when we’re done at this party I plan on taking every piece of it off you,” he whispers giving your derrière a firm squeeze that makes you softly gasp, his touch lingering with a promise of what’s to come.
Quickly you head to the bedroom and catch your breath, the excitement building as you apply your make up then pull the costume on you’ve been saving for the night.
It’s a sleek, fitted black dress—complete with a pair of pointed, velvet cat ears perched on your head and a long, playful tail that sways with each step. The fabric clings to your every curve, emphasizing your figure in a way that’s both playful and enticing, the plunging neckline dropping low enough to keep Gale’s attention on your every move.
A pair of thigh-high stockings completes the look, with delicate lace patterns tracing down to your heels, they accentuate the length of your legs adding an edge of allure that Gale can never resist.
When you step out into the living room, you pose against the door frame swinging your tale teasingly. Gale gets such a good look at you he goes slack-jawed, his eyes taking in every detail. “Well, if that ain’t a sight,” he breathes, his voice low unable to hide his arousal.
“Come here, kitten,” he drawls, the nickname making you pool with desire as you bite your lip and saunter to him.
You reach your arms around his neck and his hands find their way to your hips, pulling you close enough to whisper in your ear, “I’m not sure I’m ready to share you with anyone looking like this tonight.” He confesses.
You smile pressing a kiss to his neck, your red lipstick marking him. “I’m all yours Major” you say seductively and he grins clearly enamored by your response.
As you stare up at him he admires your makeup, his gaze trailing your face with appreciation. You’ve gone all out with a sleek, cat-eye eyeliner that makes your eyes look even more alluring, a touch of sparkle catching the light on your cheeks, and, as you smile, he catches a glimpse of the tiny, painted whiskers adding to your charm.
The doorbell rings interrupting the intimate moment, signaling the first arrival of trick-or-treaters.
You and Gale open the door to a chorus of “Trick or treat!” as a group of little witches, superheroes, and ghosts hold out their buckets. You offer warm smiles as you drop candy into each one, wishing them a happy Halloween.
Gale’s arm loops around your waist every chance he gets, his gaze lingering on you with that smoldering intensity that makes your skin heat up.
When he does leave your side as you pass out treats, it’s only to grab a glass of whiskey and lean against the doorframe watching you with a look that says he’s thinking of anything but the Halloween candy.
As soon as the hour is up and you lock the front door he pulls you close, his hand settling possessively at your waist, his fingers tracing the curve of your hip. “You ready to go to the dance, kitten?” he murmurs, his voice low and enticing, his blue eyes holding yours with an irresistible intensity.
“Yes Gale,” you reply, your pulse quickening as he reaches up, pinching your chin gently between his fingers.
“That’s my good little kitten,” he coos, his voice dropping lower as he leans in, brushing his lips against yours.
His kiss is soft and lingering so sensual it leaves you breathless, every part of you aching to forget the dance and stay right there in his arms.
With a smirk, he reaches behind you, giving the tail of your costume a playful tug. “Just so you know,” he says, winding the tail around his finger pulling you closer, “I’m not letting you out of my sight for a second tonight.” He confirms, his voice low and rich, as he draws you into another deep lingering kiss.
The Halloween party is in full swing at the towns dance hall when you and Gale arrive. All of his fellow officer’s from the nearby military base are reveling in the festivities.
The music is loud, trumpets blaring and drums kicking, setting a lively rhythm that pulses through the room. Couples twirl and sway across the dance floor, laughter and cheers filling the air as everyone parties in the exciting atmosphere
The Halloween decorations fill the space with a festive charm. Strings of yellow lights crisscross the ceiling, casting a warm, glow. Fake spider webs cling to the corners and grinning jack-o’-lanterns line the room, flickering with a spooky light.
As you walk in with Gale, all eyes shift to him, the military men cheering his name, and a few giving you looks that make you glance shyly at Gale, feeling a bit bashful under their attention “Cat got your tongue Major?” one of them calls out as the others begin to whistle.
“At ease boys” Gale smirks at them as his hand lowers to the small of your back leading you to the dance floor.
You immediately begin to sway to the music, your body moving in a sensual rhythm, a carefree smile playing on your lips as you let yourself get lost in the moment.
Gales fingers tighten on your waist, his eyes locked on every subtle, seductive move you make until he leans in his lips brushing your ear “You’re driving me crazy Kitten,” he says, his tone laced with barely restrained desire that makes you bite your lip.
Just as you both get caught up in the music, another Major, one of Gales closest friends nicked named Bucky strolls over with two drinks.
“Can’t let you hog all the fun Buck” He’s says grinning ear to ear as he places the cups in Gale hands, then he laughs having tricked him.
“Come on, sweetheart’, let’s show him how it’s done!” he says, pulling you away to dance before Gale can protest.
Gale gives Bucky a playful warning look shaking his head, and as you sway with Bucky, he leans in close his voice a rough whisper. “I think he’s getting jealous,” he teases, and you can’t help but steal a peek over Bucky’s tall shoulder.
Gale’s gaze is sharp, his mouth pulled into a slight smirk as he watches you both, a hint of envy flashing in his eyes.
After a few moments, Bucky finally relents, “Alright, alright, I’ve had my fun. Can’t keep you away from this man too long, or I’ll never hear the end of it,” he says with a grin, releasing you back to Gale.
You take one of the cups from Gale’s hand, raising it in a toast. “To Bucky, master of mischief,” you say with a laugh as Gale joins you in the cheer.
“To the stone in my shoe,” Gale chides, and Bucky bows dramatically, giving you both a wink before stepping back, leaving you and Gale to savor the moment, his antics only adding to the lively spirit of the night.
As the hours wear on, Gale stays close by your side, his presence both protective and adoring. He occasionally pulls you onto the dance floor, spinning you around until you’re breathless with laughter, or he goes off to fetch you a drink, returning with a smile.
His arm rests securely around your waist, grounding you in the bustling atmosphere, and every so often, he leans in to press an affectionate kiss to your temple, each gesture making the evening feel all the more special.
Eventually, the music begins to wind down, and you’re left giddy, cheeks flushed from dancing and a few too many drinks.
Gale says farewell to his fellow officers, before returning his attention back on you. He places his jacket over your shoulders, as he leads you outside, the cool night air a welcome relief.
He opens the car door and helps you in, making sure you’re settled before getting in himself.
As he drives you home, his hand finds its way to your knee, his thumb rubbing gentle circles there and you can’t help but steal glances at him, admiring his strong side profile in the dim light, feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude and affection for him.
When you arrive home, you step into the entryway, leaning over to slip off your heels. Your fingers are just sliding along the back when you hear Gale’s voice behind you.
“Mmm mmm,” he orders, a teasing warmth in his tone as his hand closes over yours, stopping you in your tracks.
“Not so fast, darlin’.” He steps closer, his fingers brushing against your wrist, and you feel the slow, deliberate warmth of his touch as he straightens you up, guiding your hand away from your heel.
“This is somethin’ I’ve been lookin’ forward to all night,” he drawls, his voice low, each word settling over you with a promise.
His eyes flicker down, roaming over your costume, savoring every detail as his hands find their way to your hips, his fingers pressing in just enough to make you feel the heat radiating from him.
His gaze is intense, filled with a mix of mischief and pure desire as he leans in, his lips just grazing your ear.
“I want to take my time with this,” he whispers, his breath warm against your skin, sending a thrill straight through you. “So you just let me handle it.” He says his hands drifting down, fingers tracing along the edges of your stockings. Each touch a slow, torturous tease that leaves you breathless, anticipation building with every small, deliberate movement.
He's kneeling as he cups your ankle slipping the first heel from your foot with a reverence that makes your pulse quicken. Then he shifts to the other, his gaze never leaving yours, his movements careful, as he slides the heel off.
“Been dreamin’ about this since the second you put it on,” he murmurs, his voice a rough whisper, his hands warm and steady trailing up your legs.
With a smoldering look that leaves you breathless, Gale slides his hands to your thighs, his fingers digging in firmly as he pulls your stockings down your legs
As the fabric glides down, revealing the soft skin underneath, Gale leans in, his lips brushing against your leg.
The warmth of his mouth makes your breath hitch as he kisses the newly exposed skin, each gentle caress igniting a fire within you. His kisses are soft yet possessive, and with every tender press of his lips, you find yourself becoming more and more enamored by him.
With a deliberate movement, he pulls the stockings off completely, discarding them carelessly to the side.
With a playful glint in his eye, Gale pulls back slightly, a teasing smirk dancing on his lips as he takes in your alluring figure adorned in the black cat costume.
“You know, sweetheart,” he drawls, his voice thick with desire, “I actually want to take you jusy like this, wearing your little costume for me tonight.”
A soft sigh escapes your lips from his words as his hands reach under your dress up to your hips.
“There’s just something about you dressed as a kitten that drives me absolutely wild.” He reveals as his fingers brush along the waistband of your panties
He pulls them down with a deliberate care that heightens your excitement, the fabric slipping past your thighs and falling at your feet.
Then, with a sudden, effortless strength, Gale lifts you into his arms. pulling your legs around his waist, and you feel the hardness of his cock pressing into your front, a gasp escaping your lips at the sensation.
He carries you toward the bedroom, his lips finding yours in a heated kiss, the world outside fading away as his hands grip you tightly, making you feel both cherished and desired.
With a slow, careful ease, he lowers you onto the bed, your body resting on the soft mattress as he unbuttons and removes his shirt, his gaze filled with an intense need.
Your legs are spread wide open as he lowers himself down between them, his hands gliding along your inner thighs, savoring each tremble under his fingertips.
“I can’t wait to taste you,” he murmurs, swirling your wetness around your entrance before pulling his thumb away.
Then his mouth meets your clit with a deep, lingering kiss, and you arch as his tongue slides between your folds, drinking in the slickness of your arousal.
“As sweet as pie,” he whispers against you, just long enough to catch his breath and you moan as he licks around your entrance.
He pushes his tongue inside you with a slow, steady rhythm that has your legs quivering as you gasp.
His tongue trails along your inner lips, listening to every little sound you make until you’re clenching around nothing as you leak your wetness.
He doesn’t want to waste a drop lapping it up as his mouth makes slopping noises, his groans of pleasure muffled against your skin.
You moan into the air fighting not to push hard against his face as your hands tangle into his perfect hair.
He brings both of his hands to your thighs using his thumbs to spread your inner lips apart and he stares in awe at you fully exposed for him while he practically salivates.
“Making me feel like the luckiest man in the world right now” he pants easing his fingers inside your entrance as your walls tighten around them.
His long fingers slide deep inside you, making you gasp before a heavy moan spills out, raw and uncontrollable.
He moves his hand slowly at first, each thrust of his fingertips brushing against a ribbed, spongy spot that sends waves of tension through your core.
Your abs tighten as he picks up the pace, his fingers thrusting faster, the sound of your wetness growing louder with every movement. Your moans become unending, matching his unrelenting rhythm.
“That's it, kitten," he pants feeling you tighten around his fingers as he goes harder and faster, his knuckles practically smacking against you as you moan in pleasure.
His other hand works to unbutton and slide down his zipper, his eyes fixed on your every movement as you you begin to orgasm, your hips pushing against his hand seeking more than just his fingers as he releases his cock.
He hurriedly shoves his slacks down, and while you’re still dazed, catching your breath, he positions himself on top of you sliding his cock down your clit to your entrance.
His breath shakes as he presses his tip against you and pushes inside without hesitation your walls eagerly taking him in as you moan in pleasure.
“You feel so good” he groans as his hips set a steady pace and he watches you beneath him as you take his cock making him push deeper and faster until your vision blurs, and your voice sounds foreign to your ears.
His hips pull back and forth as your walls glide against him, and he lightly groans, his hands gripping your hips, pulling you to him, looking at you like the prettiest thing in the world.
“I don’t wanna stop,” he breathes heavily, his eyes locking with yours, feeling the way your walls tighten and pull him in. “You feel so good on me” he pants.
His hands slide under your legs pulling them up to your chest making the most beautiful sound escape your lips as he thrusts harder keeping you in place.
“Y-you feel how deep I am kitten?” he says with exertion. You gasp as he pulls and pushes his hips faster putting more weight behind his thrusts. Your body trembles feeling him so deep and you sweetly moan his name as you orgasm a second time, your walls clenching tightly on his cock.
“Such a good kitten” he breathes in desperation as he looks down hearing the squishing wet sounds of your release. As his hips smack against you his cock is coated in your come the sight filling him with so much arousal that he leans in and kisses you as you moan against his mouth.
He pulls back to roll his hips deeper against you, his breaths shuddering as his pace becomes erratic “I’m gonna come “ he gasps.
With a final, forceful thrust, your moans echo in pleasure feeling his cock throbbing in you at its deepest, then he rolls his hips back just enough to push in one last time, the sensation making you tighten around him as he releases his come.
The two of you remain intertwined, his chest rising and falling as he pants, staring at you in awe. You meet his gaze through lidded eyes, your own breaths still uneven.
“I love you,” he says, his hand tracing lightly down your arm.
“I love you too,” you reply your voice soft and filled with satisfaction.
He lingers a moment longer before he feels himself begin to soften “I’m gonna pull out now,” he says, his thumb brushing your hip tenderly and you nod.
As he slowly pulls back, a final surge of pleasure passes through you both, leaving a lingering warmth as he rests back, lying on the bed beside you, catching his breath.
Carefully you sit up and slowly walk to the vanity taking off your costume, and the sight in the mirror makes a surprised laugh escape your lips.
Your eyeliner is smeared, the whiskers you drew on are gone, but the rosy glow of recent pleasure is unmistakable.
Gale smiles behind you, watching from the bed. “Looks like my kitten had a little too much fun,” he teases, eyes gleaming with a playful smirk.
“Yes, she did,” you reply, wiping off your makeup and slipping out of your costume. You return to bed and climb into Gale’s waiting arms. He pulls you close, and as you nestle against him he brings your leg over his waist.
A satisfied smile crosses his face as he holds you close, his fingers tracing softly through your hair. “Can’t wait to see what you’ll dress up as next year,” he says with intense curiosity.
“Why wait?” you ask, your voice a low, seductive purr and as you look up at him the thrill that sparks in his eyes is undeniable.
🎃END 🎃
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Logan with a reader who loves to cook for him?? I’m from the south and food is a love letter here!! 😤 deer steak, peach cobbler, biscuits and gravy!!!
Need to fatten him up before the Canadian winter gets to him 🥺 come home Logan your dinners gettin cold
~~~Wonderful request gorgeous!!!! Had my stomach grumbling while I was writing it. I hope you enjoy it and that this is at least somewhere along the lines of what you were looking for!! This was the only photo of Logan I could find where he’s eating~~~
~~~On a separate note, I'm sorry I've been away for a bit y'all I've been having a rough time, my nana passed away recently so I've been struggling with that. I may be posting less frequently for a while, hope y'all understand. But I did wanna get back into writing and I feel this is the perfect request to write to make my return. My nana was always making that good Southern food for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Her collard greens had to be the best I've ever had in my life, her broccoli casserole, mac and cheese, biscuits the whole shebang. She always had me in the kitchen with her insisting I learn how to make everything so I could carry on her recipes so when I saw this request I knew I had to pull out her recipe book. I know she'd also want me to go back to writing cause she loved Wolverine. She never got to see Deadpool and Wolverine but I showed her the clip where Hugh's shirt explodes and she went WOWIE! and watched it at least 10 times so I feel this is a good way to honor her memory, she'd want me to be thinking about Hugh Jackman. Nana this one is for you I love you.~~~
~~~Mostly fluff, implied oral at the end but nothing is explicitly written, also mostly unedited cause it's just a quick little thing~~~
I focus on my Nana's broccoli casserole recipe in front of me, carefully mixing the blend of cream of mushroom soup, eggs, onions and mayonnaise in a bowl until it’s thick and creamy. I pull the bag of broccoli florets out of the freezer and add them to the mixture taking care to make sure they’re thoroughly coated. I take some of the cheddar cheese shreds and sprinkle it into the bowl stirring it in thoroughly before pouring the ingredients into a dish. I take extra care in sprinkling whatever shredded cheese I have left on the top of the casserole. I read from my Nana's recipe, crumbling up a few packets of Ritz crackers, and sprinkling the crumbs along the top of the casserole alongside the shredded cheese, just as she taught me when I was little. I grab my oven mitts opening the oven door, gripping the casserole dish tightly in my hands, slipping it into the oven. I set the oven timer to 45 minutes, pulling my oven mitts off. I turn my attention back to the pots on the stove, lifting up the lids to check on my collard greens and mashed potatoes. As soon as I lift the lids up the sweet aroma of a home-cooked meal fills the kitchen. A smile making its way onto my face. I begin clearing the table setting up the placemats and getting the plates and silverware ready. I jump slightly as the front door opens and closes, Logan's voice wafting through the air. “Darlin I’m home!” He calls out and I grin as I hear his voice, I poke my head out of the kitchen and I sight watch him kicking off his shoes at the front door. He looks up catching sight of me and I watch him take a deep breath inhaling the smell of my cooking. “Something smells delicious” He chuckles taking a few steps towards me, I step out of the kitchen, meeting him halfway and his eyes roam my figure hungrily taking in the sight of me in my apron. “And something else looks delicious” He chuckles wrapping his arms around me.
“Hi baby” I grin, giggling as he nuzzles his nose against the top of my head, “have a good day?” I ask softly, and he grunts running his hands through my hair and kissing the top of my head.
“Better now I’m with you” He chuckles gruffly holding me tighter and I smile, “So whatcha got cooking for me” he pulls away slightly, his hand cupping my face, tucking my hair behind my ear, his other hand finding its place on my lower back.
“Hmm, some broccoli casserole, mashed potatoes, collard greens…” I grin looking up at him, fingers lightly tracing shapes on his chest. He groans, his lips falling down to mine in a passionate kiss.
“Oh darlin you treat me so well” He chuckles, his lips falling from mine, ghosting along my jaw where he presses light kisses against it. His lips kiss down my neck and I let my head fall back slowly as he nips gently at the skin of my collarbone “Always cooking delicious meals f’me” he groans lightly, burying his nose in the crook of my neck inhaling deeply.
“Well you take such good care of me, only fair I take care of you too” I giggle.
“And you do it wonderfully” he grins, tightening his hold on me, I wrap my arms around his neck. “I appreciate everything you do for me" He kisses me, murmuring against my lips "lemme show you how much” He kisses me again, his hands leaving my lower back to palm at the fat of my thighs, massaging the skin rhythmically. I giggle leaning into his touch, closing my eyes only to have them spring open at the sound of the oven alarm going off I chuckle lightly as he groans loudly at the interruption. Keeping his forehead pressed against mine.
“Baby as much as I’d love that, I gotta go check on the food… can’t let it burn” I say softly pushing lightly against his chest and he grumbles reluctantly letting me go.
“Fine fine, just so all your hard work doesn’t go to waste” He grumbles and I smile patting his cheek lightly, weaseling out of his arms and walking back into the kitchen. He trails after me sniffing the air, humming quietly to himself. I grab a pair of oven mitts, opening the oven taking the food out putting the dish on the kitchen counter. I turn the stovetop off stirring the collard greens and mashed potatoes one last time before grabbing two plates gently scooping a large portion of food onto Logan's plate. Repeating the process and scooping a slightly smaller portion onto mine. I hand the plates over to Logan who sets them down on the table pulling my chair out for me.
“Thanks honey” I grin and he pushes my chair in when I sit down, he grins at me slyly pouring me a glass of wine. Pouring another for himself before settling himself in the chair on the opposite side of the table. I take a small bite of each food giving it a small taste test, while Logan across the table digs in like a man starved, practically scarfing down his food. I chuckle lightly sipping my glass of wine.
“Oh baby you outdid yourself” He mumbles through a mouthful of food, making me laugh. “Absolutely delicious” He compliments and I smile.
“Used Nana’s recipe” I grin, “same one she used for Thanksgiving dinner” I chuckle, scooping up another forkful of food and guiding it into my mouth. “well thank you, Nana” He chuckles raising his glass of wine, waiting till I tap mine against his, before he takes a sip. It doesn’t take too long for us to finish up our food and I start to stand up as soon as Logan's plate is cleared, reaching across the table to grab it from him, but he tsks shaking his head at me. “Oh no you don’t” he says making me pause my movements my hand hovering over his empty plate. He smiles walking behind me putting his hands on my shoulders massaging gently kissing the back of my neck, gently pushing me back down into my chair.
“What?” I laugh, letting him guide me back into my chair.
“You cooked, which means I do dishes” He insists, and I chuckle.
“Alright, alright” I smile watching as he clears the plates from the table, he puts all the leftovers in containers and stores them in the fridge. Carrying the pots to the sink pouring soap in the pots letting the hot water run and fill them up. I watch him from my seat at the table taking another sip of wine, watching the muscles in Logan's arms flex as he scrubs the pots and pans rinsing them of soap before putting them in the dish rack to dry. He grabs a tea towel using it to dry his hands, as he turns around leaning back against the kitchen counter, his gaze landing on my figure.
“Well I’m stuffed” he smiles setting the tea towel aside, “but…” He grins standing behind my chair massaging my shoulders again. He takes my hand tugging me out of my chair, holding me close to him, kissing me softly hands gripping my thighs, lifting me up slightly to sit on the dining table. He pulls my body to the edge of the table, making me lay back leaning on my elbows. He pulls up the chair I was previously sitting on, perching himself on the edge of my chair. He pulls my shorts off, my panties following not far behind. He tosses them aside letting them land in a forgotten corner of the room, his lips trailing along my thighs kissing them gently groaning softly at the taste of my skin. He grips my thighs guiding my legs over his shoulders, biting softly at my upper thighs, “I think I’ve saved just enough room for dessert” He purrs, his head dipping down between my legs.
#Logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett x you#logan howlett blurb#logan howlett drabble#logan howlet smut#Logan howlett x reader smut#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine smut#wolverine imagine#wolverine x reader#wolverine#wolverine x you#wolverine blurb#wolverine drabble#marvel#x men#x men x reader#x men smut#marvel x reader#marvel smut#mcu x reader#mcu smut
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menu for a restaurant that specializes in overstuffing its customers (aka a silly prompt list)
Ask your server about dietary accommodations. Each meal is made to order, substitutions and alternative ingredients are available! All meats may be replaced with plant-based alternatives upon request. (And pick a meal to feed your favorite character--if they can finish it, they get one dessert on the house!)
Breakfast (all orders come with a side of home fries, fresh fruit, or your choice of meat)
Full Stack of Pancakes - Emphasis on "full." Lucky seven big fluffy pancakes, each with a different additive of your choice.
Big Ol' Bagel - A hefty bagel the size of your plate, toasted to order and topped with whatever you'd like.
Ostrich Egg Omelette - Okay, not really, but this omelette is made with two dozen eggs--the equivalent of one ostrich egg--and filled with your choice of meat and veggies.
Loaf of French Toast - A dozen thick slices of French toast topped with whipped cream and fresh berries.
Plus Size Pork Roll - A classic pork roll egg & cheese on our signature giant bagel.
Lunch (all orders come with a side of chips or fries)
Peanut Butter & Jelly Belly - The biggest PB&J you've ever seen, slathered generously on a buttery toasted baguette.
Quadruple Decker Club Sandwich - Your choice of meat with mayo, lettuce, tomato, and bacon, heaped on between four slices of bread.
Piece-A Pizza - This slice is equivalent in size to an entire large pizza and covered with your choice of toppings. Perfect for people who are lying to themselves when they say they'll just have one piece.
Double Footlong - Two feet of classic Italian hoagie on a fresh-baked roll.
Stomach Stretcher - They say eating a head of lettuce is a great way to stretch your stomach out, and that's exactly what this giant salad will do. We bring you the lettuce, you take it to the salad bar and add the rest.
Dinner (all orders come with a side of rice, fries, baked or mashed potato, or a fresh vegetable medley unless marked *)
Sushi Bloat Boat - A sushi boat big enough for a full table, pricey to share but free for any one person who manages to finish it alone.
Box of Pasta - A full 16oz box of pasta (your choice of spaghetti, penne, or linguine) tossed in Alfredo, marinara, or a white wine sauce. Add your choice of meat for an extra $2.
Full Size Fish & Chips* - An entire 10-20lb cod (ask your server about choosing a fish) cleaned, battered, fried, and served with steak fries.
The Whole Farm* - A barbecue variety platter. Pulled pork, brisket, ribs, and chicken breast slathered in our signature sauce, with an ear of corn, baked beans, and coleslaw on the side.
Raised Steak - A 48oz grilled ribeye. Also available as an equivalent weight of seasoned and grilled portobello mushrooms.
Dessert
Paint Can - A creamy and colorful milkshake served in a one gallon paint can. See the ice cream counter for today's available flavors.
Loaf of Bread Pudding - Warm bread pudding made with an entire loaf of bread, topped with an optional scoop of vanilla ice cream.
Root Beer Bloat - A classic float with your choice of ice cream. The twist is that this dessert holds two liters of root beer and a portion of ice cream to match.
Burp-day Cake - A seven-layer slice of chocolate cake guaranteed to be the size of your head or it's free, topped with a thick crust of fizzy Pop Rocks.
Gobbler Cobbler - A pie-sized dish of peach, blueberry, or apple cobbler, topped with three optional scoops of vanilla ice cream.
#THIS IS SO GOOFY IM SORRY ......................................#belly kink#tummy kink#stuffing#stuffed belly#prompts#belly#brief prompt#my post
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A silly holiday story time:
At thanksgiving one year my family had all gathered at my nana’s house for the family meal. My family are… not cooks. In more recent years I’ve had to warn my betrothed to lower their expectations of what we’re going to be fed. They hear the menu and think, well that sounds okay only to eat the blandest most poorly cooked food to ever shame our ancestors.
But the year in question I was still but a teenager and had not yet learned better food existed. I knew next to nothing about cooking, nor did my nana, so I was vaguely puzzled when she volunteered to cook a turkey.
It was good fortune really that I was in the kitchen when she came to check on it. I watched quietly while she opened the oven and made a sound of disgust at the juices surrounding the bird in its pan. She opened the oven door wider. She looked from the oven to her trash can. She looked back in the oven.
“Are you- uh- are you thinking to pour that juice in the trash?”
“Yeah! It’s gross, I’m just trying to figure out how.”
I, with my mere seventeen years of life experience looked at my fully grown wizened grandparent in bafflement. “If you pour that in the trash it’s going to melt through the bag, and also probably through the trash can itself? It’s really hot?”
She looked surprised to hear this basic law of thermodynamics, looking at the bubbling well of turkey fat as if seeing it for the first time. She then turned back to me, a child who had never learned to cook, “Well what am I supposed to do with it?”
“I think you leave it there? And-“
What I said next was cobbled together from television, pop culture, and American teens fixation on the hilarity of the tool for sex jokes-
“I think you baste it? There’s like a thing you get the juice in to squirt back on the top?”
She made a thoughtful hmm and closed the oven again, wandering back into the living room. I took a moment to imagine the alternate timeline where my family cleaned burning hot fat and melted plastic off the floor.
By and by our underwhelming dinner was completed and we tucked in. My mom keeps chickens so as we finished our food we put all our scraps into a big bowl that was going to the birds. We filled it with dry under seasoned turkey, stuffing, unfinished mashed potatoes, half eaten dinner rolls, etc.
As we were all lounging in contented fullness my brother finally arrived. Being older he had the luxury of showing up to family events hours late. He greeted everyone and went to fix himself a plate. He came out of the kitchen carrying the metal bowl of scraps, delightedly mowing through it.
My mom looked up and started laughing and we all turned to follow suit.
“What?” he asked.
“That’s the bowl for the chickens! Why did you pick that instead of making a plate?”
“This had everything!” he protested, showing us the conglomeration of every component of dinner all mixed up in one bowl.
He sat down and finished the whole massive bowl, unbothered by eating scraps, and the family watched in fascination. His only comment at the end was, “That was great! Turkey was a little dry.”
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The Foodie Genie
Vincent had purchased a vintage cookie jar from an odd little antique booth at a local county fair. He thought it would be a perfect thing to put his homemade cookies in, which he always kept a batch of dough ready to make on hand, as they were his favorite, and perfect to bring out when hosting guests.
He did not expect it, though, when it began to smoke as he tried to clean it at home. Sparks flew out of it as he dropped it into his sink. Somehow unshattered, but still spewing sparks and purple colored smoke, he heard it make a squelching sound as if someone was prying their hand out of the cookie jar but it was suctioned in.
A great big figure of semi-transparent man jolted up out of the cookie jar and smacked its head into the ceiling.
“Years of hitting my head in my tiny little jar, to finally being released to hit my head again. Go figure,” said the being.
Vincent surveyed its impressive height, its massive belly, its bald head and goatee, and the way its legs seemed to swirl away into almost smoke.
“All right then, let’s get to it, I am Xavier, Genie for the Foodies, great to meet you,” Xavier held out a comically large hand, Vincent stared at it in surprise, “And your name is?”
“Vincent,” he blurted out, “Vincent’s my name, but you - what are you?”
“A genie. You got ears right?” Xavier said as it leaned back in the air, crossed its arms which accentuated its belly forward a bit.
“Of a cookie jar? I’m confused.”
“I could do the whole song and dance introduction, but I don’t want to overwhelm the already overwhelmed.” Xavier stated, magicking a large cushioned chair, and motioning Vincent into it. “You see, I’m a special kind of genie. A previous wish-giver was a foodie if I ever saw one, and made it so I can only grant wishes of a specific nature. For example, any food you could desire I could produce.”
Just then a whole feast of roast duck, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans and more appeared with a pop in front of Vincent. Then in another moment all vanished, and was replaced with a buffet style platter filled with noodles and meats and rolls and veggies, and again vanished and was replaced with a vat of ice cream, steaming in the hot room.
“You get the picture, I can help you experience the rarest of delicacies too… and every once in a while I get someone who wants to become a rare delicacy themself, if you know what I mean.” Xavier raised his eyebrows, and watched as Vincent looked intrigued. “The one who wished I could only grant food related wishes, used his last wish to have me even swallow him whole! He wanted to experience first hand what it would be like to be food,” Xavier, floated upside down and let his large belly hang down and show how massive it is. It seemed to grow and inflate until it was pushing up against Vincent’s face.
In a flash of smoke Vincent suddenly had a gut the size of a yoga ball, and the genie was back to normal.
“Or I can give you more room, so that any meal you desire you’ll be able to finish, and have room for seconds…” Xavier snapped and Vincent’s belly swelled to the size of a compact car, “Thirds… fourths… you get the picture.”
In another puff of smoke the room filled with jello and Vincent felt himself floating in the giant mass and heard a muffled shouting from Xavier say “Or if you’d like to play with your food, I’m sure we could have a fun swim.” Another puff of smoke and Vincent was as small as a soup spoon, looking up at a dollhouse sized castle made of graham crackers and gingerbread. The candy door of it swung open and Xavier popped out, “Come on in, and consider a wish. You get three. No more. No less.”
Vincent entered the graham cracker castle, grabbed a chunk of chocolate that was by the door and nibbled on it. Xavier let him up a staircase made of cake, into a hall with a long table. They sat down and Xavier asked again what wish Vincent would begin with.
Vincent thought for a while. He supposed his wishes didn’t matter as much as a normal genie’s might. He didn’t think the world would collapse if he wished for a fridge with unlimited eclairs or something.
“I wish I had a fridge that could summon any food I desire when I opened it.”
“I can work with that,” said Xavier. A flash of smoke and they were normal sized, sitting on the kitchen floor. The genie gestured behind Vincent who turned to see a purple fridge replacing his old one. He opened it to find his favorite smoothie sitting on the center rack.
“Cool!” Vincent exclaimed, picking up the smoothie, closing the door and opening it again to find a plate of kebab waiting for him as well, “I didn’t even realize I wanted that. Thanks!”
Vincent drank and ate as he considered another wish. How could a wish regarding food be helpful for both himself and others? Maybe he could wish to change the taste of anything he ate to something he loved. That’d make shoving down the burnt stuff his friend made more bearable, even enjoyable. Or perhaps he could wish to not have any allergy to food or poison: to digest anything. But what if he wanted to heat something but not digest it? “I wish I could change the shape of my gut at will, so if I want to eat a whole roast pig I could do it in one sitting, but then be able to change my gut’s size back to another size to fit my clothes.”
“Hmm that’s an interesting one. Many ways that one could be used without relation to food so it’d be tricky to see if my powers would allow. I think I can grant it, but only if the primary body part you are changing shape is that of your gut and digestive system.”
Vincent felt a surge of energy through him like an electric charge. He looked down at his gut and imagined it ballooning to the size of a watermelon. It did so. He opened the fridge and found a cantaloupe waiting for him, and he stretched open his mouth to an impossible size and fit the melon in easily, swallowing it down if it were a small round candy. He felt his gut with his hands, feeling the soft flesh and the hard melon underneath layers of it. He imagined that his gut would be packed with thick fat to pad the melon inside. He watched as his layers of fat grew thicker and thicker until his gut could easily fit a human inside and have enough fat padding no one would notice a difference in shape.
“Wow, genie, you outdid yourself with this one. I think my friend Henry is gonna get a kick out of this,” Vincent said, turning back to the fridge. This time, when he opened it, the racks were gone and in their place was a full size human being, looking utterly bewildered at their being in a refrigerator.
“Hello? Vincent? How on earth - I was just in the library. How did I get here?” said the man in the fridge, stepping out of it into the kitchen, “And who’s this? Or what is this?” he said, gesturing to the genie.
“I know you’ve got a million questions but I’d like to try something if you’re still interested,” Vincent said, “Remember when you told me about those funny fantasies you like to muse about when you’re - well you know what I mean?”
Henry looked between the genie and Vincent, and began to notice their large bellies, “What - ?”
“Wanna make it a reality for a bit? I can let you out later. Like this,” Vincent’s stomach changed shape and the melon popped out of his mouth, good as new.
Henry looked surprised, but interested. “Wow, you swallowed that whole?”
“And you’re next, Henry,” Vincent said, with a gleam of devilishness in his smile. He glanced down on Henry and saw he wasn’t the only one changing shape. With one quick swoop, Vincent grabbed Henry by the shoulders, and threw him head first into his rapidly stretching mouth, sending him down into his belly, which was swelling to the size of a large couch again. Henry seemed to be quite content with this experience, not even struggling to slide down into his friend's belly.
The genie started clapping, “Oh my, what a show! You’ve got the hang of it quite quickly! But I must warn you, you must make three wishes by the time the clock strikes the hour mark, or all of your wishes will be revoked! And if that happens, your friend might be stuck in there for good with no magical stretching maw to let him back out.”
“The hour mark? Isn’t that like Cinderella and stuff? Why’s there a time limit?” Vincent asked, rubbing his gut and mildly distracted by the lump of Henry inside.
“Someone tried to wait to give me a final wish for 30 years and I got fed up and got special permission to start setting time limits.”
“Oh, I suppose that makes sense,” Vincent said absent mindedly, turning to the clock which read 3:59pm. Sudden panic filled him and he jostled his belly, sending Henry bouncing around. “One minute!”
“30 seconds actually,” said Xavier, not stressed about it.
Vincent’s mind went blank with shock as he tried to think of something good. He gave up and went with something that intrigued him earlier, “You said you ate one of the previous wisher people? That could be interesting I suppose to know what it’s like for Henry. I wish you would swallow me whole for a bit, then let me out before I get digested!”
Xavier looked excited and coy, “Really? Me eat you? I haven’t eaten in years,” the genie said, blushing. He clapped his hands and the room filled with smoke, and suddenly the two of them were steaming in a warm vat of hot fudge together. Xavier leaned in close, “I like a little flavor. But what would suit you best? Hmm…” The genie snapped its fingers and the vat of hot fudge turned to chicken soup… then to a birthday cake… then to a pool filled with chicken parm and pasta… then suddenly Vincent found himself sandwiched between two human sized slices of seeded bread, with an assortment of stuffing, cranberry sauce, turkey and lettuce and tomato. “Just want to say thank you for being a great wish-giver,” said the genie.
Vincent’s eyes grew wide as Xavier’s mouth stretched to the size of a door. Vincent felt air rush past his face as the genie’s throat seemed to start vacuuming the air around them down inside it. The sandwich lurched forward and Vincent watched as the giant mouth came closer and closer and he began falling into it, feeling the wet, mushy expanse of the back of the genie’s throat, and the tight squeeze down its esophagus. He fell what felt like ten feet down a tight, slimy tunnel of saliva, and landed in an opening chamber of stomach juices that tingled his skin. He felt around the giant stomach and felt it shrinking. He began with space to move around, but by the time it stopped shrinking he could barely move his chest to breathe. He hoped Henry was doing alright in his own belly, though his empathy was not deep when he felt Henry’s elbows and knees jabbing directly into his bladder and lungs. He felt the stomach walls around him knead his body, squeezing and contracting, as acid trickled down his sweaty face. He felt like he was dissolving into soup, felt like he could no longer tell where his fat belly ended and the one he was in began.
He began to fade into unconsciousness when, in a puff of purple smoke, he felt all stress upon his body relinquish as if he had been let go of from the tightest, sweatiest hug ever. He landed softly, seated on the ground of his kitchen. He looked around but did not see the genie anywhere. Xavier had gone. He felt a bit groggy. Perhaps he had passed out on the kitchen floor. Had it all been a dream?
His answer came at once.
“Hey, bud, I’m having a great time… but you might wanna swallow some antacids, or let me out soon… unless you're hoping to make me permanently belly fat, of course, but this stomach acid is getting stronger.”
Vincent turned to the fridge. It was still purple. “Cool,” he whispered to himself. He looked up where the genie had been floating a while before and mouthed a silent “thank you.”
“Vincent? You there? I’m kinda digesting in here.” Henry called with a forced-casual tone showing signs of mild panic.
“Oh, right!” Vincent said, opening the fridge to find antacids and threw the whole unopened bottle in his mouth and right down into his belly.
A while later, after stretching his throat and mouth to let Henry out, the pair of them sat at the table, sharing some cookies. They sat in silence for awhile, enjoying each other’s company and processing what had happened.
“So I’m thinking, maybe I can come over for dinner again next week?” Henry said.
“To be dinner? Or share dinner?” Vincent joked.
“Why not both?” They shared a smile.
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Hi fellow adventurers!! Welcome to chapter 2! We're going to be attempting a nice lil fruit-focused quiche/frittata/pie thing. And yes, tomatoes are fruits.
Who says you cant eat totally normal things in a dungeon with definitely no monsters in them?
You know what that means; Man-Eating Plant Tart!
(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)
MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS
SO, “what goes in to a Man-Eating Plant Tart?” YOU MIGHT ASKThe way its prepared in the show is akin to a frittata, but the crust is borrowed from quiche world.
Eggs
Whole milk
Bell peppers
Persimmons
Cherry tomatoes
Pitted green olives
Thinly sliced OR shredded sweet potatos
Salt
Pepper
In the show they use leftover hotpot stock, slime, and mashed up fruit as the batter ingredients. Fruit mush is easy to work with but I couldn't find any stand-in for slime that would cook correctly into what they made in the show, and the hotpot stock is just not thick enough to carry the base. It is too many watery ingredients at once. Needing a thickening agent, both gelatin and agar agar were tried. It was edible but the texture was… gelatinous. Regular egg and milk will serve for our purposes.
The next complication was the crust- so in the show its made with the skins of fruit, straightforward yeah? Well. You see it also has to be 1. Thick enough to bake without burning 2. Harden through cooking to be sliced and held and 3. Inedible. Lotus leaves? Plantain leaves? Really thin gourds? I couldnt find any historical basis for a savory food cooked in this method, or similar method, with an intentionally inedible crust. I could find a few dishes which used leaves as their crust, but none that hardened during cooking and even less that used fruit skin. I chose sweet potato skin for its visual match and texture. It is edible, and it is not a fruit.
I hope youll forgive me for these 2 major deviations as i wanted to keep it looking how it does in the show while also ensuring it tastes good.
AND, “what does a Man-Eating Plant Tart taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKFluffy, airy, savory, salty.
The density of the eggs is offset by the crisp fruits
And the saltiness doesnt overpower the remnant fruit-sweetness
(If you eat the crust) the sweet potato brings this nice muted, smokey, flavor
Spongecake-esque in consistency
Would pair well with cranberry or strawberry juice
Would also pair well with a mellow hot sauce?
. You can use heavy cream instead of milk for a creamier batter . Roast the fruit longer to remove more liquid if too wet (and vice versa if too dry) . Smoked paprika, pepper flakes, cumin, garlic powder, and onion powder would taste good in the mixture
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"A mixture of mashed up and cut up Man-Eating Plant fruit, slime and scorpion soup is poured into a pan lined with the flattened peel of the fruit and cooked before garnishing with some more fruit. Described as salty by the group."
From start to finish this recipe took 3-ish hours? Shredding the potatoes took the longest, so if you get them bagged itd be cut down. A very filling recipe and a good way to sneak veggies/fruits in if you have a hard time getting enough of those essential nutrients. The best advice i can give is to add salt/seasonings at every stage of the process, to build up layers. It makes a difference flavor-wise (even if its just salt). I advise against reheating if possible. The filling will make the crust soggy over time.
If you want to be closer to the cooking of the show, you could double the fruit amounts and mash them together while halving the amount of egg and milk. I hadnt tried due to budget reasons, but it should work with some finangling. I'll pass the final verdict off to you guys with how todays recipe turned out <333
What would you rate this recipe out of 10? (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do better, and what would you have done instead?
🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁
Ingredients:
3 Eggs
13oz whole milk
2 bell peppers
2 small persimmons
140oz cherry tomatoes
12oz pitted green olives
34oz thinly sliced OR shredded sweet potatos
Salt
Pepper
Method:
Heat oven to 420f and grease a 9-inch pie pan.
Thinly slice (or shred) your sweet potatoes and squeeze out any excess moisture. Coat in olive oil, salt and pepper.
Press sweet potato mixture evenly into and up the sides of the pie pan.
Blind bake for roughly 25 minutes or until lightly golden-brown. No worries if the edges get crisp.
Remove pie pan from oven and set aside.
Core and chop up your bell peppers and persimmons. Coat with olive oil, salt, and pepper.
Line out on a baking sheet, evenly spaced, and roast for roughly 20 minutes or until softened. (you can do this at the same time on a separate rack from the pie crust if you have room)
Remove the stems from your cherry tomatoes, and drain/dry your green olives if canned.
Bring a frying pan to medium heat with olive oil. Add the green olives and sautee until their skin texture starts dimpling. Add the cherry tomatoes and continue sauteeing for about 5 minutes or until lightly browned.
Once the bell peppers, persimmons, cherry tomatoes, and green olives are all done, set aside to cool until just above room temp.
Lower the oven temperature to 350f.
In a mixing bowl combine your eggs and milk, add salt to taste. If you want other seasonings nows a good time!
Once uniform in color and texture, add your cooked fruit. Stir until evenly distributed.
Pour mixture into the potato pie crust.
Bake for roughly 40 minutes. The filling should be mostly firm, but wiggle *slightly* when you shake the pan.
Remove from oven and let rest for roughly 15 minutes before serving.
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