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#AND IT MAKES MORE SENSE OF WHY IM STUPID BC OF MY AGE SO DONT EVEN QUESTION IT
iloveacronix · 2 months
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I want to talk to my mutuals so bad bro but my stupid ass is too scared bc im a very unhinged person and I am very unserious and serious at the same time or I joke about lots of things that make you question if I need mental help. HELLOOOO... MOOTIE PATOOTIES... TALK TO MEEEEE I WANT FRIENDS I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND YOU GUYS ARE SO COOL IM A DAMN PEBBLE COMPARED TO YALL
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Me rn
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banamine-bananime · 6 months
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AITA for trying to save my friend and keep the rest of my asshole friends safe from their bad decisions?
I (M26) just went through this real shitty breakup. So basically, my ex C (M lmao man fuck if i know his age idek if knows it. or has one i guess) has this god-fucking-awful habit of deciding to solve every problem by dying about it and/or fucking off without so much as a word to the people unfortunate enough to give a shit about him, except maybe his sister (unhelpful for the rest of us because she also inherited the "fucking off without a word" gene. man fuck this whole family for making me care about them. whatever). Also, killing himself inside peoples brains thats like a whole hobby for him. like okay either ghost us OR kill yourself in front of us altering the trajectory of our lives forever PICK ONE like a NORMAL person.
Okay wait im not explaining this well. So years ago C and W (M37 now) were partners but C was, uh, in a really bad place mentally (S is telling me this is more diplomatic to say than "crazy af") and that situationship ended as badly as a situationship can end. I mean W's told me he pretty much had his sense of identity as someone separate from C totally destroyed by that for a while, which like, in hindsight its kinda an accidental dick move that our team made him take C's legal identity, but in our defense a) the fuck were we supposed to know?, b) tbf he really did need it not to go back to prison, c) it's not like C was using his identity, on account of the fucking off and effectively-dying-as-a-solution habits, and d) i mean. i gotta admit it's also pretty funny in a really fucked way.
aw shit derailed on a tangent again
recently its just like, we just get so focused on one thing its hard to remember anything else, you know?
S is so good at getting us back on track though. thank god because you would not believe the number of irons weve got in the fire to keep track of, its ridiculous. (i love making my partner be the planner in the relationship lol. highly recommend being a passenger princess in the body sometimes. fuck massages, i'm telling you THIS is what you need after a long day getting shit DONE and taking care of everyone else's messes)
So I met C 6 years ago, right out of basic, when we were privates stationed at the same base. middle of nowhere. shit, this is gonna be hard to explain, just realized i should use different names for C to keep them straight. I knew "A" and W knew "E", i didnt meet E until years later. theyre alters and also the same guy but also not the same guy. dont worry about it if you dont get it bc ive dated both of them and i dont think i do. my life is stupid.
Bunch of bullshit happened, A ghosted (lol. you'd be high-fiving me if you knew him) and then found a problem to solve by dying. you get it by now.
Then i meet E, E encounters a problem and tries to die about it round one (i guess round two, after exploding in W <- LOL. you should be high-fiving me right now), E's sister drags him back to the land of the living, E ghosts, W and i start dating, W tries to martyr himself and disappears because i guess E rubbed off on him (dude i am on a fucking roll. you should be high-fiving me out of pity for my glamorously miserable soap-opera life if nothing else. homophobic not to), our team gets W back, E strolls back like he has no idea why im mad at him, we fight about it, makeup-makeouts about it, and E tries to die about it round two: in my brain boogaloo.
So thats how S and i meet. oops, guess i never introduced S? Feels weird to have to introduce ourself twice, people dont really meet us separately anymore LOL. S (M, ageless) is also C's alter, my partner in life and badassery and brain and body. and obviously freaky sex stuff, that goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway to brag. the swish swish to my stabbing people who really deserve it. Not really interested in your opinion on our relationship, it's not what i'm asking about. we're aware its not conventional, because we're not fucking braindead. Im so sick of all the "oooohhhhh this isn't healthy", "he's a male manipulator and youre codependent i know bc i learned psychology from tiktoks by girls with green hair", "why are you wearing your ex-boyfriend's armor colors while wearing his dead ex-boyfriend's armor while dating and sharing a brain with your dead mutual ex's alter", "have you considered going to therapy instead of a quest against death itself" blah blah blah. If youre so bored you need to judge our life then just get your own 🙄🙄🙄
we've been really on that sigma grindset the last few weeks. S has got our sleep optimized down to a tight triphasic 3.46 hours and we're minmaxing the fuck out of the rest of every day. Biohacked to shit over here. too much to do, so we have to make there be enough of our time to do it. who else is gonna? my teammates? the REDS? we're half batman half babysitter to a gaggle of idiots who can barely be trusted to wipe their own asses, let alone fight their own battles and make decisions like "wah wah wah A is dead let's just give up and cry about it or whatever".
Don't even get me started on W. Oh youre all about character-building wake up and grind self-improvement and taking leadership until we're making decisions you dont like, i guess. WHATEVER. this is why we dont listen to you.
its hard, okay. like, you cant understand the sheer fucking stress were under trying to keep all our plans going smoothly while keeping these guys safe while they're basically actively trying to unravel every carefully-laid thread and also strangle themselves in them. im probably going prematurely grey and also losing some time. its hard to remember when we need to hold back and use the kiddy gloves. i really didnt want to come to holding - uh, we'll call him MC (M25) - by the throat, passed-out. he's like a brother to me, been through thick and fucking thin together, so yeah, i feel really bad about that, my bad, we were the asshole there, but like, maybe stop throwing yourself in the way? like run out into the road you're gonna get hit by a truck no matter how hard they slam the brakes. mfw the conses quence. but im NOT asking about that. everyone's been on our dick about "please god stop doing all of this" and abandoning A and trying to break us up way before that, and THAT'S what im asking about
Anyways tl;dr are we the asshole for getting shit done when it takes methods that all our monday morning quarterback friends dont like
_____
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
it really was a dick move to dangle my teammate's limp body in a chokehold even though it was basically an accident and also not even directly relevant to the question
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might not be the asshole:
okay but we're right
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shiftingtomydrs · 5 months
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MLB DR
Alright so same as with some other drs my personal stuff like name and everything is the same soo wont go into that a lot tbh
then backstory, i originally wanted to be like an exchange student in france but then like i cant very well be ladybug if im only there for a year so i switched it to i move to france for some reason i dont know yet and i live there with my aunt or smth bcs she lives near paris yk? then basically i just kinda take marinettes place but not completely, like shes still there and stuff but im there too yk? my love interest is adrien and marinette will get together (and stay together) with luca cos theyre cute and im not sure yet if i should script her crush on adrien out or just say it disappears at some point
changes in plot: i dont like anything after season 2, dont ask me why, i just dont like it idk why either, so im gonna script seasons 3-5 out with some exceptions (e.g. i kinda really like cat blanc so i might leave that in with some other stuff but the whole shadow moth and all that shit no) also lila isnt the next supervillain shes just a regular mean girl cos it doesnt make any frickin sense that a 15 year old is able to manipulate every single person she meets. like shell still be able to lie and manipulate people her age but not adults cos thats just stupid imo. Also i havent even watched season 5 yet so im going off spoilers i saw for the next part: none of the miraculous will have permanent holders except ladybug and chat noir (aka me and adrien) cos i like to be special :) also i wont be guardian of the miraculous until much later like college or smth cos thats a ton of pressure and it went sideways for marinette so i dont want it going sideways for me. oh and a big one: ill be taking the whole sentimonster plot out cos i hate it and i think ive never hated a plot as much as that one. like sentimonsters can exist okay but felix and adrien and kagami etc arent one. cos just no. oh and ofc i wont know adrien is chat noir haha
now a bit more about myself: idk yet if i just wanna kinda steal marinettes interests and do the whole design thing cos i am a sucker for parallels and the parallel of adriens parents and adrinette is there but then again why would i wanna be like gabriel? so i might just do what i do in 90% of my drs and be a songwriter (well ill be that anyway question is do i add the designing part on top or not?), otherwise i like baking, ill do figure skating or gymnastics or ballet prolly like all the things i wanna do here but cant for this or that reason. my nationality will be german prolly cos i like having the german passport and also i dont think i need a visa for france cos its in the eu. i wont really script much more about like me and adrien except that we end up together but in my head its kinda similar to the adrien and marinette situation cos im a sucker for slowburn and idk it just fits i think also with my issues with trusting people have good intentions and not just spend time with me bcs of a bet or shit like that.
Physical looks, i might change my hair color cos idk i think itll fit and yeah but ill still have my eye color and height and stuff just be a bit fitter cos with my endurance theres no way ill be able to be a superhero (ik theres magic and shit but still)
im not sure yet if i should leave the dr as a cartoon or do it like this reality (leaning towards this reality bcs i think cartoon would freak me out a bit for my first shift and id overcomplicate it) or maybe ill just do two drs, one cartoon and one not.
anyway, if you have any questions, id love to talk more about this dr so pls ask them <3
@ningsols here it is :)
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autumnshighlady · 1 year
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ok this is so stupid but i really want to see neris and reader interactions,, like the small things, the comfort, the protectiveness,,,, ughh love what you've done w the story man, desperately waiting for the next part fr. (go on your own pace tho) glad to know i've shifted you a little bit on a azriel thing (devious smile) - ithink he's a good character for most people because he barely had a personality in the books and so we can usually make up stuff yk, like he's mostly just broody in the books and we're told stuff abt his personality but not shown it. can't wait to see what happens next! ohh also the dragon interactions!!! i wanna see those too!!! eris has hounds right,,, it wld be cute for them to protect nes and r tooo,,,, ahhh sorry this is literally just me ranting lol, obv feel free to ignore the reqs,,, i really want to let you know that your writing is good bc you seem to get less interactions than you should!! and a weird amt of hate lmao like whats w the people being rude about ialtpwf and wanting guys my age so badly, like i enjoyed it despite not particularly liking the daddy kink partbut like. really,, why so rude??? want to see how reader fares in front of beron too, i assume word of her power will reach him too/. anyway, how long are you planning on pushing the beron overthrowal thing (im being curious not being like ugh when are u plannign on ending it,, in case thats what it sounded like,, idk man im overthinking). oh also! want to see court relations with all of them after berons gone. before berons gone. all of it, i want them to be better leaders/people to the court people yk. oh!! also lucien-reader friendship!!! love that!! we havent seen much of it but hes def the kind of guy to tease r abt eris when they start actually flirting and getting near a relationship yk. eris-lucien brotherhood too tho, obviously. also the lady of the autumn court!! watching them bond w her!!! ahh jfoisfkjmdofikndfvg ium sorry have a great day today1!! hope you rest well after that long ass shift. oh yeah i agree w you on the feyre thing, she's def just mostly like a pawn to rhys yk, i think she was better as a char when she was w tamlin tbh, altho obviously i dont want her to be with someone who kind of abused her without any groveling at least/ cant wait to see more interactions fr!!!! oh when i said in the story, i meant the actual books, well and yourss but the actual books mainly! anyway i think you've managed to be realistic w all of them in a way that is good. bye! oh same anon as last time. should i give myself a name, is that fine,, i'll choose * anon. sure.
i can’t wait for you to see more of the neris x reader interactions! you’ll love it. i feel like i’ve done a decent job of their dynamic so i’m super proud of it so far.
Azriel’s journey is one i have planned out - it’s going to be complicated because yk he’s been loyal to rhys for 500 years and that’s not suddenly going to change, but he will continue to play a role.
you’ll see more of the dragons for sure! and the hounds will be involved too so fear not ;)
yeah idk why people got so weird about guys my age like i’m glad they enjoyed it of course but i kinda did everything i wanted to do with that fic so i don’t feel i have anything else to add to it if that makes sense
beron will play a bigger role soon! as far as them overthrowing him, prob within a couple chapters maybe a bit longer. im still playing around w the details of how exactly it’s going to happen
expect a LOT more lucien and lady of autumn in the later chapters! i love love love writing for lucien so i’ve got special stuff for him planned hehe
tons more interactions to come. more lucien, azriel, gwyn and emerie, cassian, etc. thank you for your message angel and NEVER apologize for rambling - nobody has taken the time to say this much about my fic so far in one go so i LOVE reading these. send as many as you want <3
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kpoptarotastrology009 · 4 months
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i even try liking kpop casually but it just feels like something not for my age group anymore considering that they are barely debuting adult aged idols theres no one my age debuting in kpop anymore. it just seems that in todays world fame is everything and i dont want that to tbe the only reason why id ever want to do anything of that sorts like yet its the inly thing ppl seem to get recognition for for instance if celeb or idol dies its all over the news and they get such overreaction in the media for it so it wouldnt matter if i wasnt here bc no one seems to really need me for anything. that or situations just i had, had no explanation for it and i mean really bizzarre and unhelpful ones or just stupid gossip wherever i went and it sounds like im making this up or being woeful or victim mentality whatever the term is nowadays
i had one situation in 2003 that just had no explanation for it either and since then it got weirder and more alienating since i was the only one who saw them no one wouldve believed me anyway. no it wasnt aliens it was just two weirdo guys filming me then they ran off soon as i went inside where we were staying, yeah such a perfectly normal expeirnece for somoene my age then someone like maddie mccann winds up missing and dead years later sometimes i wish it couldve been me instead. im guessing its sketchy cult stuff too bc those somehow exist too even in this society.
my great aunt is who i wouldve preferred to have been as she has seen so much and done so much and she still gets about even at her age yet i couldnt seem to get anything close to what shes had. ive been told my fs is a footballer but again since its not sometning ive ever done its not something id care deep enough for
i dont want to care for wealth yet it seems we need more wealth in this era to get by to barely own a properth and it just fucking sucks bruh cause theres specific time period i want to "go back too" but ik i will never experience physically its like its torture for my soul bc what i like isnt around anymore, even the music i like has been digitalised bc the artists arent around anymore or i have to find something to like even if its not always my taste or style
i have to suplement it with the modernised versions and even then its not enough i need to actually go back in time and have different experience to what there is currently bc it all just bores me to death or will bore me to death eventually. even i could live without tv bc theres nothing terribly exciting bc its all modern junk that either wants me to buy things i dont need and items that used to just be simple, affordable and practical yet its all been littered with even modern cars are getting beyond boring, smartphones too much similar and it all does the same thing so why cant we live a bit more freely huh? whys it all come down to needing x amount of grades and work experience on top of it just to get piss poor everything
it just makes no sense to me. if im not going to fit in then why should it be forced on me anyway? cant i then idfk just wander off into the hills and act like i never existed? ik my ancestors probs dissapinted in me too but truth is it just sucks these dayd cause every other thing is abt needing our reaction and usually its negative sort like the media or tv
i want to do something real but theres nothing real abt it anymore bc its all done on a screen, its like i dont even need the basics of my brain anymore either bc theres google, calculators and maps that do it all for us. heck i dont even need to put thought into anything anymore. thoughts have been put in short forms of tweets, blog posts and instagram pics or tiktok reels, words have been replaced with gifs and emojis
the only celeb i truly admire for both his talent and ability to stay away from the internet is cillian murphey why cant they all be like that? theyre rich enough to not need the internet to stay in touch with random hate comments and backlash that they get on the daily basis, same goes for idol groups tbh. ok maybe they arent all rich but again why cant ppl ever feel content with just the basics?
then i often think well it wont matter once im dead but it shouldnt have mattered anyway cause living should come easier to ppl. yet its like if u fail once u have failed for life bc theres little to no other options since everything rests on grades or experience or talent anyway and ppl who often make it worse for itherw get away with it too... just like my friend who was beaten up. yeah school is basically hell and they havent made it any easier either so i dont know what im supposed to care about long enough for me to do so that i wouldve been happy doing it
i watched a beautiful video the other day of a 102 year old dancer from the 1900s and i was thinking wow how different their entertainment was to nowadays, where it was more lively and simpler less formatted and wasnt about ppl trying to be tiktok famous in short periods of time and most of all the dancers back then actually seemed happy compared to where its forced happiness bc we r all glued to screens for our brief momentary entertainment and distraction from the world. im also obsessed with a certain place of another time period that i will never ever get to do but it jsut always seem like history repeat itself in this world. wars pandemics and so on. couldnt we just have one normal year or is it always going to be so dramatic and less calm and relaxing? even kpop like look at all the junky drama surrounding many groups yet i also dgaf about it anymore but wth is going on with that why cant kpop also have one normal year without negative overreactions from their fan bases?
It's all fake and that's why don't focus on the Media too much, you don't know how bad they are living their lives off cameras , I know the sense of feeling not belonging in a generation is the worst but what can we do about it? This is life and me personally I think we should spend it with people that we love in real life , family , friends, going out enjoying life and don't overthink anything whatever is gonna happen will happen don't make yourself tired by things that won't serve you anyway, live the real life have friends and enjoy the moment don't this too much about the future because nobody knows if they are gonna be able to see tomorrow or not , live everyday of your life like it's the last day of it .
Everything you said is right but you're only focusing on the negative side of the things . Start searching for something that gives you happiness, something real , something you can build yourself again from , no matter what is but build a life that can serve you , anything you want on your mind do it if it's hard face it and win over it , what I learned in life that there's nothing impossible
And there's always bad people out there that only care for money and will do anything for it and in kpop too this is everywhere but let them do whatever they do only think about you , because thinking about them will only give you the negative energy that people wanted to affect people with and you can see it's happening , when you focus on people with bad energies you got bad energy, when you focus on people with beautiful energies you will get a beautiful energy, this is exactly how it happens
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ierogenvy · 3 years
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i am just now coming to the realization that very soon i am going to be alone with my mother for four days in southern california and i am incredibly likely to come out
#dont mind me#oh god#me @ me: dont#these tags i’m abt to write should rlly be a separate post but i don’t wanna so here we go if#i wanna come out to my family but like … everytome i get close to comfortable w the idea someone says something that makes me 👁👄👁 what the f#i’m pretty sure i won’t get disowned or kicked out but i’m not ready for homophobia to my face L O L !! at least my sister (if not everyone)#is gna be like ‘i knew it !’ and like that’s not the point#bc no u didn’t ! if you’d’ve known you would’ve tried harder to not say shitty things#dad has said he doesn’t believe in trans people#mom once said she didn’t wanna watch schitts creek bc it features a gay couple and she doesn’t wanna see that#sister is generally better than that bc she’s my age but she also claimed to Know that one of her friends was bi bc he of the way he acted#like ms girl we can all see how he acted but only queer people have actual gaydar thank u <3 like i can tell various ‘straight passing’ peop#coworkers are somewhat queer bc of vibes and a general sense and also i have eyes#wait will they ask questions abt my friendships from high school. bc i do not want to think abt hugh school ever#THIS IS WHY I DONT WANNA STAY IN THIS STUPID ASS RED ASS STATE MY WHOLE LIFE U SHIT HEADS IM QUEER#not to mention if i did decide to come out now idk what it’d be as. like. non-binary. we got that#but i’ve been thinking abt lesbianism and men and idk ….#i’m not so sure in that label anymore and it freaks me out but also …#i still need to think more on that but the point is i don’t wanna come out as a lesbian then six months later be like wait no i’m bi#idk if i’ll ever tell them abt the enby part bc ik they won’t understand it and i def don’t want to put in the work to make them#esp my parents like i get angry explaining technology to them .. gender ?? no thank u
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lanshappycorner · 4 years
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😔
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anne-i-write · 4 years
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moriarty the patriot headcannons pt. 1
| requested by anon: Can you write about all male characters in moriarty has a same look of their  children and hpw many children they want? |
william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader; sebastian x reader; fred x reader
word count: 2397
pt. 2: 221b boys
a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT WRITE THIS EARLIER IM SO SORRY THIS REQUEST HAS LITERALLY BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS
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william: 487 words
with his whole plan to clean the world of the filthy nobles, william never really stopped to think about having children
well, until he met you
you both were in town one day and he saw you fondly watching a child speak with her mother
“i think two children would be nice”
“i didn’t even ask”
“i know, but the look you gave that mother was telling enough”
n e ways he is a simp and he did eventually give you what you wanted
fast forward a few years, you have two children: a boy and a girl
and they look exactly like their father
like,, it lowkey pains you how much they physically take after their father
you wanted to be like “oh they have your personality, but they look just like me!”
no
granted, your son took after you in an emotional sense but your daughter was a daddy’s girl through and through
like she looks like him, she acts like him, speaks like him, she even EATS like him
ok but the men w your children
fred is a freaking sweetheart ok
like he’ll watch over the kids when no one has the time and they love him too so they’ll help out in the garden which you are SO thankful for
tbh they only like uncle albert bc he brings them lil trinkets from when he gets back from london LMAO
louis doesn’t show it, but he absolutely adores your children and makes extra snacks for them at tea time
you caught onto this at one point bc for some REASON your kids would not stop bouncing off of the walls before bed and they told you uncle louis gave them chocolate
and sebastian loves messing w your kids bc,,, sebastian
but he accidentally made your son cry ONCE and he was at the mercy of every adult in the moriarty estate including the boy’s younger sister
needless to say, he watched his actions and words around your children after that
now, william
i’m just gonna say this straight out: most of the men never really thought about having kids (save john and albert)
but when you finally had kids, william had a different outlook on life
like fr,, this man works overtime now trying to get rid of the filth that is called nobles
he doesn’t want his kids to be raised in a world where just because you have more money than another means you get to look down on them
you still instill in them those good morals ofc
he also tries to be very present in their lives since he and his brother were raised as orphans
when he was younger, he didn’t mind it all much
but now that he had this small family and a brighter future, he did everything in his power to make sure they’re happy and grow up in a cleaner and kinder world
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louis: 320 words
it took you a week to get him to at LEAST humor you
“if you could, how many kids do you want?”
“none”
like, this guy is so dedicated to his brother and his cause it is a WONDER you somehow wormed your way into his heart
but you did and honestly, the brothers are actually very happy that you’re with them
william especially
louis rarely emotes but when you came into their lives, you got louis pissed at one point and everyone was like,,,, wtf?? he has emotions???
anyways, his answer is one kid LMAO
and when you get that one kid, he looks just like louis
yall already KNOW that he’s ready to die for that child as soon as louis holds him in his arms
the only kid sebastian wouldnt even try to mess with
he can deal with william’s albert’s or fred’s kids but louis lowkey intimidates him so he’s as nice as he can be
that being said, louis teaches his kid how to properly handle stuff around the house
you want to cry bc ur son is just so??? the little kid just loves helping out no matter how small the task and he’s just so cute it hurts
even sebastian’s kinda like,, “aight he’s the only kid i will tolerate”
louis grew up with only his brothers so he also wants to give his son a shot at a normal family
is actually aware at how he thinks he’s indispensable for william’s cause and he doesn’t want his son to end up like him
he also teaches his son some badass fighting moves
oh and louis smiles a lot more too
cried bc his son saw the scar he got on his cheek, rubbed some dirt on his lil face and said “i have daddy’s cool scar now”
all in all his son is the best thing to happen to all of you
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albert: 505 words
same as louis in the fact that it takes him a week to answer
“you know you haven’t even answered my question”
“i’m sorry, what did you say?”
“how many kids do you want?”
genuinely takes time to ponder that question
he hadn’t thought of that since his family adopted william and louis
but with you?
“i think two darling girls who take after their mother is enough for me”
pls he’d be so sweet 🥺🥺🥺
you two end up having a girl and a boy, who look just like their father
and tbh, you’re not even mad
you love them so much so when albert comes back north, the three of you are ecstatic
the happiness was short lived for albert tho
he found his son spending time with william and there’s nothing bad right????
“where’s your sister?”
“she’s with mr. moran”
his heart DROPPED
out of all the people in the manor
HIM
he sees the two running around the garden
it all happened as soon as albert’s daughter went up to sebastian and said “you’re very pretty! you’re my knight now!”
he decided to “adopt” the little girl and now he’s lowkey whipped
you found albert staring at sebastian playing with his daughter and updated him about everything going on
“but him??”
“he’s just a big softie for her let it go”
isn’t really surprised when he finds out they can fight a little
actually glad that they can hold their own, God forbid anything happens to them
otherwise mi6 has to deal w family matters lmao
“albert, she only tripped”
“you shouldve seen the fear in her eyes as she fell”
“IT WAS A STRAY COBBLESTONE”
would raise hell if anyone even THOUGHT ill of his kids
william and louis are the doting uncles
william more so than louis bc your kids have never seen louis smile
now they’re on a mission to make uncle louis smile
louis was on child duty one day and they managed to slip away
omyGOD he was stressed but also,, extremely worried
so when he found them he had the most genuine smile on his face
your daughter was like (・∀・)
she loves uncle louis
ofc your son adores his dad like,,, who else wouldn't feel awesome at the age of 10 if you found out your dad was a high ranking general
feels superior to sebastian bc of his dad
lmao this 4’5 kid thinks he can rule sebastian for some odd reason
the house is always dirty bc him and sebastian always prank each other
your daughter is trying to catch a butterfly but she can’t so fred helps
instantly loves fred
“is that what heartbreak is”
“i guess that’s what happens when you try to get close to my kids colonel”
albert is kind of afraid of turning into his dad but he has you and everyone else to remind him that: no you are not your father, you are so much better than him
loves your family with his entire being
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sebastian: 844 words
“i see you looking at those kids and the answer is none”
lmao you’ll get so pouty around him bc you want kids dammit
that and he spoils you to no end so that's why you’re pouty lol
“fine we’ll only do one kid and bc one kid is all i can tolerate”
bruh
this man gives you three in four years LMFAO
two boys a year apart and a girl in the fourth year
you wanted to smack sebastian
when the two boys grew up, it was obvious they were already taking after their father in the physical sense
it was terrifying
they genuinely look like mini sebastians and you know everyone in the manor is afraid that you two birthed satan
and the satan was your eldest one
he’s just a feral sebastian moran in a tiny body
your second son, god bless him, looked just like his father but with fred’s temperament
and see, you were fine with your sons looking like their father
it was FINE right
you prayed to God that your third child would have at least some physical resemblance to you
your daughter was birthed, she grew up
and you cried
“HOW DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU”
“i’ve got some strong genetics, baby”
you sulk for a lil bit
but you accept it anyway because you love your goddamn kids
thankfully, your second and youngest child are both soft spoken and it's only your husband and his tiny clone bringing hell to earth
smacking sebastian bc all of your children suddenly started swearing up a storm at each other
“WHYD YOU HIT ME”
“YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO SWEARS AROUND THE KIDS”
finally sitting down and trying to convince them to stop swearing
“father does it!”
“your father’s stupid”
speaking of your daughter
she’s his little princess and no he will not take criticism
spoils her more than he spoils you
did she glance at a toy at a passing store?
he buys more toys than he should from said store
you have to physically hide some of his money bc there is only so much you can buy
and her older brothers are so caring you want to sob
if a person accidentally shoved her over bc she was tiny and they couldn’t see her
oh boy
get ready to restrain them like chihuahuas
“little sister will be protected at all costs”
since his second son is so different from him, sebastian actively makes time to talk about what the little boy is doing and what he’s getting from it
doesn’t want to be pushy and suffocating like his dad was so when his younger kid does want to be left alone to his devices, sebastian does so
but honestly loves that your second son is so literate
lddhsajdsfk what yall dont know is that they’re all in cahoots
kinda funny to see them all together bc they all take after their father so much it's like having three tiny sebastians go around town
anyways,,,, yall know the promised neverland right
you got ray, norman, and emma
granted one of them wasn’t as smart as ray but he definitely knew what stealth was
regular sibling rivalry was still a thing but if they could smell the pudding from the kitchen, they know they have to work together
sebastian caught his eldest smuggling biscuits into a small bag
he had half a mind to scold him
but then he ended up giving tips TO ALL HIS CHILDREN on how not to get caught next time—
bc of this they beg him to tell them some stories from afghanistan bc “there’s no way a man as old as dad knows this many stealth tactics”
louis is so fed up lmao
albert is in london most of the time so he just thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to deal w the propaganda that sebastian feeds his children about how “mr. albert is a bad man”
william is fine w it as long as they don’t trash the library
your younger ones love the library so they would cry at the thought of one of the books losing any of the pages
your second and your daughter are definitely the moriartys’ favorites
they don’t show it, but you just KNOW
your eldest could care less about that though
as long as you and his father still love him
and of course you both do
and fred is definitely your youngers favorite
they like to hang out in the garden
ok they still fight all the time though
just because your second child is soft spoken doesn't mean he’s afraid to throw hands
their sister likes to join in for the hell of it
but if someone wrongs any of the children
just because the younger ones are the moriartys’ favorite, doesn’t mean that they’re not gonna hunt someone down if they even think about trying to hurt the eldest too
yeah,,, good luck to them and their families
they got the entire moriarty estate coming after them
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fred: 241 words
cmon yall are like,, young
but you did ask him bc you were curious if he thought about it
he wants one
and when yall do have the kid, you guys actually do have one kid and its a girl
since you both are young, you can immediately see a resemblance between her and her father
everyone who meets her would die for her
ABSOLUTE CUTIE
especially when she walks around the garden w her hand in her dad’s and he’s showing her all the plants and telling her how to take care of them
needless to say she grows up loving plants
any type of plant
the boys love giving her flowers or anything from bc she has the biggest smile every single time
no matter if it’s just a single rose or a rock
this was found out one time when sebastian gave her a rock bc everyone else had given her like,, two roses each
was afraid she was gonna cry
“thank you so much mr. moran! i will treasure this until i get old!”
she was like 4 at the time
and had the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her
guys u don’t understand she smiles a lot but this was like,, genuine happiness
but everyone was just,, i will destroy the world and myself if anything happens to her
fr it’s just sunshines and rainbows every single time she’s around
everyone just loves her ok
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moriarty the patriot general taglist: @zoehanji
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chemicalcarousel · 2 years
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is it normal for the host of a system to having attributed your headmates' behavior/thoughts/opinions/ect to yourself before you were made aware of your plurality?
and is it normal for other headmates to having confused themselves as being you, the host, in the past?
(gonna do a "keep reading" for the rest of it, since it became a long rant about my& struggle with our mental health)
ig it's because we just thought that was what being one person was idk we do be a lil stoopid lmao. like... i remember some episodes where levi was close to the front or fronting with me where we were well aware that there was a levi there (name and all), but we thought it was a delusion or we just brushed it off as if it never happened. then we identified as otherkin/fictionkin (since levi is an introject from a fictional source). levi thought he wasn't his own person and he still seems freaked out by the thought of existing and honestly i dont blame him since i find existing freaky too hxkfsfksxs
i thought one of the littles was me doing involuntary age regression as some sort of emotional flashback, but idk my therapist thinks she's a seperate part and ngl it makes more sense. she's much different, but probably based on young me and holds our trauma from that time. i'm personally emotionally distanced to the trauma mostly, but she's the one holding it. every therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist that have met her are extremely surprised how i change so drastically. and they have all commented on how im not in touch with my emotions when i describe my trauma very analytically. but then sometimes "i" start acting like a scared child. i cant control it in any way. i especially cant control my body language, my thoughts, my emotions, and my speech. and after the episode is over i definitely have emotional amnesia. it was a dissociated child part
also the child has a passive influence on me from positive triggers too and it's hard to control that. let's just say we have a lot of plushies lmao but idk they are very cute and the big ones are good for especially the littles to ground and soothe themselves. sometimes hugging one also helps when a little is upset inside of the body. we have a hard time reaching each other inside the headspace, it's like we are lost in an infinite void of darkness where we can sense each other faintly at times, but it's so hard to communicate. but i hugged a big, soft plushie once i felt a little crying and i kept repeating that we are safe and that she's not alone and that we love her. idk why the plushie hugging helped, but my theory is that she might have felt it through our body and hugging that plushie helps her. she didnt seem to be at the front at all, but idk maybe she could still feel it?? idk how this works, my therapist has been very hesitant to help us, even though she's the one who was like "yeah you are three different parts, i've observed them all" (havent told her about lee bc we are scared and he only fronts when we are alone and he can do some activities he likes)
TW // suicidal ideation mention
our therapist is a licenced psychiatrist and psychotherapist who is specialised in mood disorders (we have bipolar), so maybe that's why she's so bad at handling our case. she's like "it's hard to work with your trauma when you're either not in touch with it or you're triggered to the point of closing off from the world". bruh........ we're trying our best here, you're supposed to like.... know what to do. there's a reason that we are here, if we knew how to handle this we wouldn't need therapy wtf. sadly we barely have an income high enough to live off of since we aren't allowed to work yet due to our strong anxiety and s//cidal ideation. also we dont have the right disorders to get disability (only schizo-spec or bpd, denmark is so stupid istfg). hhh life is so hard and we are super split on having hope for the future or not
TW OVER // suicidal ideation mention
anyway, a question turned into a rant (yet again). ig it's because we literally have no one to talk to about this. sorry hhhhgggg
~ Sof (she/he/they)
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antiloreolympus · 3 years
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10 Anti LO Asks
1. i honestly have to guess the reason the anatomy is just SO bad in LO now is that the team gets such rushed sketches from rachel (youd be shocked how many series do this to their teams of assistants) and are on such a time crunch that yeah with a little more time they could fine-tune it to look better but they just go "fuck it" and follow exactly whats on the sketch and it just ends up looking like ... that. its not really the fault of the team but more rachel doesnt give them a lot to work with.
2. idk how you guys claim lo persephone has no personality?? she has big boobs and ass and does whatever hades wants her to do, thats all the personality she needs! (/s obviously)
3. LMAOOO EROS IS BANNED NOW?? love you terrible tumblr staff, never change
4. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT CANVAS COMIC YOURE TALKING ABOUT and you can check the creator's instagram and see the majority of their page is just LO fanart. they maybe could have claimed arrogance if this wasn't the case (tbh most of the character, story, and visual tropes LO uses are super common place that an accidental overlap is very possible) to give it more leeway, but the fact they're an admitted LO fan who just HAPPEN to have all the same exact elements is ... very sus.
5. the athena/hesita ship is also bad bc theyre framed as hypocrites for not letting the poor straight girl persephone bone her near retirement age boss and theyre just?? stupid?? like they never get rid of their no sex rule? also rachel's past comments of hestia "getting over" being asexual (as if asexuals dont have sex? its a spectrum?) and the fact athena has to look like a Man™️ while Hestia looks like a Woman™️ so it's also a gendered gay ship too. It's just bad no matter how you cut it.
6. this is such an annoying thing about RS's "character designs" but why do NONE of them have even some distinct accessories to show who they are? Give Zeus a crown of lighting streaks. Give Hera peacock decals on her clothes. Have Poseidon carry his trident on his back. Give Hades a jewel skull tie pin. ANYTHING! The only one who has any is Persephone with blobby flowers which often aren't even there and lack any sort of rhyme or reason to them (other than blue for horny 🤨). It's so lazy!
-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----
7. FP Spoilers//I wish Persephone had come by her wrath honestly instead of it being "blessed" by Eris. Like. Heaven forbid the sweet precious cinnamon roll has dimension and feels wrath because that's natural and just part of her? Maybe I'm not making sense. Idk it just feels like RS is doing everything in her power to make Persephone perfect rather than a well rounded character. Maybe I'm wrong. Idk I just hate that it's not *her* wrath it's a blessing from Eris. Smh. 
8. alright im not spending coins on it, what cliffhanger did the mid season finale end on this time. (//fp spoilers obvs)
From OP: I’d recommend just going on youtube tbh. The panels kinda add to this weird mid season finale.
9. //FP SPOILERS
OH MY GOD YESSSS I'VE BEEN WAITING 12 YEARS  WHOLE SEASON FOR THIS. Persephone's finally getting the punishment for all her deeds(and a pretty fair one, per se), she and Hades will finally be apart and Zeus being an actual ruler who makes big decisions and not some clown. Like yeah, there is also ugly art, plot twists out of nowhere, but this is just season 2 you can't do anything about. All and all this is the best chapter in the season so far, can't wait for LO stans to read it, ooh boy this is going to be fun
10. Fp- yep so Perse is all uwu, her "ambitious" side and aow wasn't even hers. Wanted character development? Now you have downgrade. Thanks Rachel. At least we are getting Minthe back
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am-artist · 2 years
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the wilds s2 finale thoughts im mad these seasons are so short
ok damn with the future flashes ??
shelby looks great. TONI also looks great. one of the perks of the setting is that the girls with makeup on do look aged up from the island.
i find it hard to believe that shoni are permanently broken up until post island though
oh not fucking gretchen again. why is she not dead.
thank fuck it was a dream!
girlies finally realizing leah is not insane at all.
kind of wish shelby had told fatin about the ship thing instead of defaulting to toni but oh well. fatin in trees now!
“ditto bitch different her” ????????? is she saying this to shelby or about leah??? hello??
that tree is very climbable
is martha not in interviews bc shes still catatonic?? ahhhh
um this fatin & leah moment… GIRLS???? if they make them happen next season wow
honestly if we get both girl pairs and like one guy pair to be fair i would be very pleased. lgbt island
the helicopter makes so much make sense bc i was wondering how the girls wouldnt move beyond certain beats (leah not learning about fatin’s discoveries, shoni breakup) but if now is when they get sent off to interviews…. i get it
the boys being so fractured and isolated makes total sense but hurts. raf and henry bonding is very cute tho even if its over fucking seth.
i love kirin and ivan im sorry!!!! frisbee bonding excellence. i keep saying they could be excellent team parents if they tried
ooooofffff course seth’s stupid ass brings back the boat to play hero bc he Needs to be the Good Guy. jesus
kirin and seth seems like a recipe for disaster.
okay raf makes sense but i do wish ivan somehow went with because to be fair he is a fairly good peacemaker + the comedic potential of him and kirin stuck in a raft at sea together is too good
literally what is seth’s plan even. i mean theyre all stupid for rushing off aimlessly but what is his plan. “was this like fucking stupid” um yes
if seth doesnt drop the jocular act i SWEAR TO FUCK i am going to kill him.
nevermind kirin will
oh raf is going to beat seth’s ass. deserved
not more gretchen i cannot. s3 murder gretchen as genderless bonding arc
“you’re stronger now” well for starters rachel is missing a hand
leah baby i love you. a winner truly.
this leah montage!!!!
ok the fatin leah reunion really got me. my bestieeeees……….
omg crossover event. why am i getting so hyped for this meeting of groups
ugh gretchen do not ruin this for me
raf and leah i do love.
oh did all the researchers run off??? s3 dual island survival mode???? FUN
loser mom loser son moment. also dont care about this evil scientist faceoff.
PEOPLE on the inside? multiple? is shelby meant to be who we suspect?
seth is so incredibly annoying
oh season three cannot come soon enough
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gamerwoo · 4 years
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[The Pack Next Door] Wooyoung: Sorry Not Sorry (Part One)
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(photo edit courtesy of @songmingki​)
Characters: Wooyoung x female reader
Genre/warnings: werewolf au, brother’s best friend au, not really fluffy but there’s no angst until the very end
Word count: 1,788
Summary: Everyone knows that werewolves can’t control who they imprint on, no matter what they think their preferences might be. But despite that, Jongho can’t help but absolutely loathe Wooyoung because the older boy went and imprinted on his older sister.
a/n: reader is obviously written to be older than jongho so if you dont like that bc it doesn’t apply to you, im sorry but oh well. also i don’t have any sort of update schedule so updates are gonna be way slower than they were for mingi’s lmao
Next | Sorry Not Sorry Masterlist
For a long time, Wooyoung was just your younger brother’s annoying friend. You were three years older than Jongho, so while you weren’t too far apart in age, you were just far enough that while growing up, you found your younger brother and his best friend absolutely annoying and obnoxious. And it seemed to be one of Wooyoung’s favorite activities was annoying you or pranking you with your brother.
Eventually, the three of you were grown-up enough that Jongho and Wooyoung didn’t bother you as often. You both were still in school -- you in high school while the pair was just starting middle since Wooyoung ended up staying back a year in grade school -- and while you did often see Wooyoung around your house during afternoons and weekends, his presence didn’t annoying you nearly as much as it used to. 
It wasn’t until Jongho was 15 and Wooyoung was 16 that you realized just how accustomed you’d gotten to having Wooyoung around, because you stopped seeing him. He was no longer on the couch with your brother, yelling at the video games they’d play on the TV after school. You no longer walked into the kitchen to see him rummaging through your fridge like he was in his own house. Wooyoung just...stopped coming around.
And Jongho was noticeably sadder, too.
“What happened to Jung Wooyoung?” you had asked him after about a week of no sign of your brother’s best friend.
Jongho sighed, looking more depressed than ever after hearing you mention his best friend since childhood, “He was sent away.”
“Sent away?” you repeated with furrowed brows. “Where? Why?”
“His parents said they sent him away to an all-boys school because he was acting out,” he explained.
Maybe Wooyoung acted differently at his own home than he did at your house, but you didn’t think the younger boy acted out at all. Maybe when he was a child, but he’d been fine the last 5-ish years. It didn’t make sense to you, but then again, you didn’t know Wooyoung very well.
However, you didn’t know it, but you were right. Wooyoung hadn’t been acting out at all. His parents wouldn’t tell anybody, but they’d actually kicked Wooyoung out of their home and sent him away to live with his uncle whom they’d disowned from their family because he was a werewolf.
And so was Wooyoung.
Wooyoung had gone missing for about three of those days that he wasn’t around your house. It was something most teenagers who first shifted would do, unsure what else to do after becoming a giant wolf. His parents had a feeling what had happened since his father had seen it happen with his brother. When Wooyoung had eventually returned, his parents confronted him about what happened, and the poor boy was immediately shunned and sent away. But when Jongho went to ask, they lied and said he went to a different school far away now.
Jongho was sure without any type of contact with his best friend, he’d never see Wooyoung again.
But you never thought much of him again. Jongho did eventually make new friends, and while he didn’t talk about him often anymore, he did think of Wooyoung every now and then, recalling the good times they had and wondering what he was doing with his new life. But you carried on with your life, eventually going off to college and only seeing Jongho when you went back home to visit. 
There was one instance where Jongho had come to you at your apartment, though. He was sweaty and out of breath, seeming panicked. His eyes were a scary crimson that had you gasping and stepping back from him, unsure why they looked like that. But he kept saying he didn’t know where to go or what to do.
That was when you found out Jongho was a werewolf. You weren’t sure what to do with that information, either, but you helped him go to your parents with the information. Your mother had said her great grandfather was one, but they weren’t sure if anyone else in their family would get what they expected to be the werewolf gene. But thankfully, they were accepting and went to your grandmother for some help and advice.
During his time in college, Jongho had found some new friends that he started living off campus with. They seemed to make him happy, and he spoke about them like they were family. He had confirmed they were his pack, and you were happy that he managed to find them. You thought it was sweet that your brother had new friends in college that he cared about and who seemed to care about him, as well.
“Oh, and hey, do you remember Jung Wooyoung?” Jongho asked while he was first gushing about his friends.
“That little twerp you were friends with since forever?” you chuckled. 
“Yeah,” he laughed. “Well, he's in it too! He lives with them!”
Your eyebrows raised in surprised, “Wow. It’s been years since you’ve seen him.”
“I know!”
“It’s like you two were meant to be brothers this whole time,” you told him with a laugh. “That’s kind of crazy. Fate’s really amazing, huh...”
“You should come visit sometime. I think you’ll really like the guys. Hongjoong’s really cool, and Yunho’s pretty goofy but he’s sweet. San’s kinda flirty but he’s really nice and stuff when you get to know him. I think you’ll get along well with Seonghwa and Yeosang, honestly.”
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
“Because you were always no fun growing up,” he teased.
But you did eventually go visit your brother. It had been a little while since you’d seen him anyway, so you figured why not. Besides, he seemed really excited about his pack and especially getting to reconnect with his childhood best friend. Honestly, you were a little bit curious to see how Wooyoung grew up.
What you didn’t expect when you arrived was to see Jung Wooyoung for the first time since you were in high school, and see him as so much more than just your little brother’s annoying friend.
Jung Wooyoung had grown up to be more handsome than you could’ve even imagined if you’d ever bothered to remember him. As soon as your eyes landed on him as he walked out the door to catch up with the pack while your brother excitedly greeted you from the driveway, you felt a massive crush on him hit you. And if this was what your grandmother had told you, Jongho, and your parents about, this was something more serious than just a human crush.
For Wooyoung, his entire world stopped. All he saw was you in his vision, everyone and everything else falling away. His heart was beating out of his chest, his palms suddenly felt clammy, and he had the strong urge to run right up to you and just wrap you up in his arms.
He had imprinted on his childhood best friend’s sister.
Thankfully, with Jongho’s excitement to introduce you to the pack, he hadn’t picked up on that. However, the same couldn’t be said for the pack. Seonghwa easily noticed, Hongjoong had a very strong suspicion, and Yeosang thought it was so painfully obvious that he couldn’t believe that Jongho didn’t realize when he had re-introduced the two of you and you finally had to properly acknowledge each other.
Yunho was the only one who didn’t notice, thinking that was just how Wooyoung was. He was very flirty with, well, just about anybody. So the older boy didn’t have reason to think anything of it.
But it was silently decided that nobody would tell Jongho about it. Neither you nor Wooyoung knew how to tell him. Jongho had become very protective of you ever since becoming a werewolf, so not only were you afraid of possibly upsetting him, but Wooyoung definitely was. Not only was Jongho his brother now, but they had been best friends since they could remember, and they had finally reuinted. He didn’t want to ruin their relationship, and neither did you. And since neither of you ever said anything, the rest of the pack knew it wasn’t their place.
Eventually, another werewolf came into the picture: Song Mingi. He was tall, a little awkward, but very sweet and funny. He had imprinted on his best friend, Aera, who he hadn’t told yet and insisted everyone associated with the pack never speak of it to her -- that included you. You weren’t at the pack house often -- Wooyoung would simply sneak out to visit you at your apartment because that was way easier -- but you were glad that Mingi’s situation overshadowed your own. The less attention on you and Wooyoung, the better.
Until Mingi ended up telling Aera, and then someone had to go and open their big, stupid mouth and ruin everything for you.
Jongho had invited you over for dinner to sort of ‘celebrate’ Mingi finally telling Aera after however many years that she was his mate. They, like Jongho and Wooyoung, had grown up together and were best friends throughout their whole lives. You were shocked Mingi managed to keep his secret for so long, but you were happy for him that he finally told her. Besides, Aera was always so laid back and relaxed. You figured she’d be fine with the whole situation.
“I still can’t believe you made a mistake that stupid,” you chuckled as the pack launched joke after joke toward Mingi’s lapse of thought which caused Aera to find out. “Even I know to be more careful than that.”
“Yeah, but you have family that’ve been telling you about werewolves since Jongho was in high school,” Mingi pouted. “My parents still don’t even know.”
“Guess they’re next on the list of people to tell,” Yeosang joked lightly, knowing Mingi was getting a little grumpy from all the teasing.
Yunho snorted before laughing, “Where are Wooyoung and _____ on that list?”
However, the joke that was meant to lighten the mood only made it worse. The air seemed to thicken almost immediately as everyone but the oblivious werewolf froze, eyes unsure if they wanted to look at you, Wooyoung, Jongho, or just continue staring at the table. It was so silent after Yunho’s laughter turned awkward and then quickly died down that even you could’ve heard a pin drop from outside. But after what felt like an eternity of just dead silence, something finally broke it that made you wish you’d continued to just sit in the quiet.
“What?” Jongho asked sharply.
From the end of the table, you heard Mingi mumble, “What was that about stupid mistakes?”
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taelme · 4 years
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Enemies-to-lovers!Bang Chan
request: Hey! Can i request and enemies to lovers slow burn with bang chan where they dont like each other but theres undeniable chemistry
genre: enemies-to-lovers!au, workplace/office!au, (fluff, slow burn, lots of denial of feelings lol) 
pairing/s: Chan / Reader (ft Seungmin and some ocs!) 
word count: 21k rip I got pretty carried away 
tw: not any prominent ones that I can think of, kind of hints of the whole misogyny in the workplace kind of thing 
a/n: I got super carried away writing this I hope you guys like it haha im currently working on the other requests so do look forward to those!! ill try to put them out as soon as I can~~ all this staying at home is really giving me time to write... ( I HAD TO use this gif I just HAD TO) but yes this was a little hard to find reasons why y/n wld hate chan bc im for the chan is an angel agenda but I ended up having so much fun ok BYE 
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“Hey, you free to get lunch later?” You’d bumped into your friend who worked in the company’s legal department, Seungmin, on a Thursday morning while you were in the pantry preparing coffee and tidbits for your boss. 
You nodded, “uh-huh,” mixing the coffee absently, “what are you doing here?” 
Seungmin shrugged, leaning against the counter as he munched on a cookie, “felt like taking a walk. Things have been pretty busy in the legal department lately.” 
“Why?” 
Seungmin gave you a cheeky smile, shrugging, “can’t say, but you’ll find out soon enough.” 
You rolled your eyes, gritting your teeth with feigned menace towards him (his smile stayed unwavering, even sticking his tongue out at you to mock you).
“Who’s that for?” Seungmin gestured to the coffee mugs on the tray. 
“Mr Bang’s supposed to be meeting his nephew or something, he made it seem really important but all he told me was that it’s for his nephew,” you shrugged, glancing down at your two cups of coffee, realisation hitting you. 
“Shit, that just reminded me. He said his nephew doesn’t drink coffee. Do you want this?” You shot Seungmin a pleading look, holding up your now unneeded cup of coffee. 
Seungmin scoffed, taking the mug from you wordlessly, “how exciting your job is, huh,” he deadpanned, sipping the coffee, “wanna reconsider joining the legal department now?” 
You rolled your eyes. 
“I’m perfectly satisfied with my job now, thank you very much.” 
You’d prepared a pot of tea, careful not to spill the water onto the counter as you did so, transferring the pot onto your tray, “and plus, considering the amount of money I get paid for the amount of work I do, I’m more than happy.” 
Seungmin scoffed, “should’ve known it was because of the money.” 
“Alright, I’ve gotta go, see you later,” you said, picking up your tray as Seungmin waved his hand with cookie crumbs on his fingers, the clicking of your heels growing softer as you walked further away. 
Reaching the door of your boss’ office, you’d been able to faintly make out 2 silhouettes through the window from where you stood, composing yourself to make a good impression as you knocked on the door. Hearing your boss grunt, you’d pushed the door open with your shoulder, your gaze focused on the coffee table as you greeted your boss.
Setting the pot of tea on the table, you’d cast a glance at the recipient, your eyes widening when you’d spotted the boy with dyed hair sitting on the plush leather sofa facing your boss, dressed in a clean white button-down and tie, an equally well-ironed pair of pants, his posture relaxed with his legs spread casually. 
His gaze was on you, as if analysing your movements, making you direct your gaze back to your task at hand, setting the saucer with the cup of coffee onto the coffee table, placing the small biscuits your boss liked in the middle of the two. 
Holding the tray close to your chest, you cast a glance at your boss, about to bow in greeting and head back out when his voice had stopped you. 
“Y/N, please, stay here. I’d like to discuss something with you and my nephew.” 
Your eyebrows raised, lips pressed tightly together as you nodded, “oh…cool, alright.” 
“Please, take a seat,” Mr Bang gestured to the space on the sofa next to his nephew, making you seat yourself awkwardly on the other side of the sofa, your body pressing against the armrest as if trying to create as much distance as you could between him and you. 
“So, Chan, this is my secretary, Y/N,” Mr Bang gestured to you, “Y/N, this is my nephew, uh… Chris,” he spoke, the name sounding fairly familiar to you. Chris Bang? You sounded the name over in your head, not being able to connect the dots as to why it was so familiar at this point of time. 
“So, sweetheart, because I’ve been planning on resigning for a while now, I thought I should let you know that I’m planning on handing my position over to Chris.” 
Maybe this was what Seungmin was so busy with. 
You nodded slowly, trying to understand the implications this decision meant for you, “will my contract be terminated, then?” 
Chris glanced at you, as if searching your expression. He found you fairly younger than he’d expected, since his uncle had mentioned earlier that you’d already been working for him for quite some time, going onto 2 years already.
Of course, he didn’t want to underestimate you, but knowing the directors’ reputations regarding secretaries, he wasn’t sure if he could put a label on your abilities without seeing them for himself, first. And to him, he wasn’t quite understanding of why his uncle was so insistent that he needed a secretary, his past experiences with secretaries all being quite unimpressive. 
“That… is unfortunately up to Chris, but ideally your contract will resume as per normal.” 
You glanced back at the boy, who looked at you with an unreadable expression, something about his stare successfully unnerving you, the way he looked at you almost with a certain level of contempt. 
“We’ll be having a company dinner tonight to welcome Chris to the team, it would do the both of you well to get acquainted with each other before the board meeting for ceo elections.” 
You nodded slowly, still clutching the tray close to your chest as you wondered how old he was, the whole ordeal seeming as though it were something out of a movie: a young apathetic heir getting authority over a large corporation at such a young age. Was he even qualified for this position? The rest of the directors were nowhere near his age, well, appearance wise. 
As if having read your mind, your boss spoke, “I’m sure you two will get along just fine, considering you two are so close in age.” 
Your eyes narrowed, something in you not feeling comfortable with this arrangement. Dismissing the thought quickly, you shrugged, figuring it would be a change of scenery from being around the old directors all the time. 
You watched as Chris shrugged.
“We’ll see.” 
=== 
“Who?” Seungmin dabbed at his lips with his towel, picking up his glass of water to take a sip, making you frown, still trying to do your research on Chris Bang as far as your browser app would take you. 
“Chris Bang. He’s gonna take over the company from President Bang.” 
Your words seemed to have elicited a giggle from Seungmin, “doesn’t that make them both ‘President Bang’?”
Seungmin ignored your eye roll, continuing, “this was what I was referring to just now, you know. I thought you would’ve known who he was by now,” he told you, making you set your phone down on the table, open on his LinkedIn page that frankly wasn’t giving you much other than stating how very qualified he was for the job. 
“You know, Bang Chan? Ring a bell? That guy that’s been switching departments for God-knows-how-long since last year. The one that got all of us donuts one time,” Seungmin gave you a ‘duh’ look, considerably unamused. 
“Oh,” only then were you realising just who that was. You knew exactly who he was. You’d heard many rumours from the other secretaries on how he was impossibly good at anything he’d set his mind to, his work ethic and standard incomparable to anyone else in the company they’d ever seen. 
Which was why all that switching departments start to make sense to you, since it could’ve been his way of making sure he learnt the ins-and-outs of every department by the time he took over. If that wasn’t just more evidence that he was definitely a crazy workaholic.
At the time, you’d made a passing comment on how you hoped you would never have to be his subordinate, after having heard stories on how intimidating he was whenever it came to work (especially work that was improperly done). Little did you know that your comment would come back to bite you in the ass so soon. 
“Yeah, ‘oh,” Seungmin mimicked you, taking another bite out of his burger, “why d’you seem so…,” Seungmin made a pained groaning sound as he gestured to you for lack of a better word, “about it, anyway? Shouldn’t you be happy? He’s super nice!” 
You scrunched your nose up, locking your phone in your dismay, not wanting to see his face on his stupid profile mocking you with all his stupid qualifications anyway.
“I don’t know, just kind of feels a little sudden. And I hate the feeling of not knowing if I’m gonna be fired since it’s not up to Mr Bang anymore.” 
“Which one?” Seungmin joked, making you scoff, finding it just a little funny. Only a little. 
Seungmin continued, “you’re just mad because him taking over means you actually have to do work.” 
You shot him a glare, your silence being an acknowledgement that he wasn’t entirely wrong. 
“And because I love Mr Bang! He was such a nice old man that checked in on me and gave me life advice. I’m not gonna get any life advice from someone that’s basically my age.” 
Seungmin huffed in amusement, bringing his hand up to cup his mouth as if to divulge a secret, dropping his voice to a strained whisper, “transfer to the legal department.” 
You sighed, “no, I still love my pay.” 
“Then stop sulking! Chris is the nicest guy I’ve met, you’ll be fine. Just show up to the company dinner tonight and fluff him up a bit,” Seungmin shrugged, “it’ll be smooth sailing from then on.” 
=== 
You figured you should’ve tried to do a lot better to fluff Chris up during the company dinner, instead of just going over to grill the meat for the directors, under the instruction of President Bang. 
The action itself didn’t sit right with Chris, who didn’t understand why it was so imperative to the directors that you be the one to grill the meat until he realised just why they were keeping you there. 
His own uncle was oblivious of course, simply obliging at any chance he got to show off how capable you were (even if it was just grilling meat), however Chris was quick to notice the way they stared at you as you reached between them to grill the meat, your face feeling hot with the steam from the grill. 
“Y/N is very hardworking, graduated at the top of her class in college,” Mr Bang mentioned pointedly, making Chris’ eyebrows raise in surprise. 
“Really? What did you study?” He spoke, knowing very well you were listening, the other directors not paying any attention to learning your background as they prompted you to pour them a drink. You didn’t miss the way his words were accented, remembering hearing from Seungmin that he’d spent a large chunk of his life in Australia. 
Tipping the bottle, you’d answered (albeit a little preoccupied). 
“Law,” you sat back on your heels, “minored in journalism.” 
Chris frowned, not being able to understand why you would’ve chosen to work here as his uncle’s secretary of all things if you had pretty good prospects on your own. 
“How’d you end up working for my uncle, then?” He voiced, your attention diverted when you’d been prompted by a director to take a shot of your own, clinking your glass obnoxiously and leaving you with no choice, an embarrassed flush on your face. 
Taking the shot, you winced at the burn of the drink, glancing back at Chris, who was still looking at you curiously, wondering how you’d felt under the attention of the directors.  
“Did it as a temp job at first,” you told him, “but I guess I realised halfway that I don’t mind it so much, and it paid me pretty well.” 
Chris hummed, you ‘don’t mind’ this? 
One of the directors let out a grunt of distaste, “you shouldn’t worry about that, doll. The job of a secretary is to look pretty, the pride of the company is in its secretaries,” he said, clearly having already had one-too-many drinks, his words leaving an awful aftertaste on your tongue, his hand going over to grasp your shoulder, his hand going down to your arm and squeezing. 
“I always told her she’d do well as a housewife. That way she wouldn’t have to work and just mooch off her husband.” 
You mustered a smile, setting the bottle of drink down and bowing to them, Chris having lost his appetite at the way you’d just let their comments slide. 
“Maybe she prefers mooching off of the directors, instead,” Chris murmured, his sharp tongue getting the better of him, catching your attention as you were walking past him, making you stop in your tracks.  
Chris’ uncle tut his tongue, nudging the boy harshly, making him raise his hands in surrender. 
“What? Just speaking off of observation.” 
You turned around, a surge of confidence arising in you (from where? You weren’t sure, maybe it was the fact that in your eyes he was still what was standing in between you and your possible severance pay), “excuse me?” 
“I’m sorry, was there any untruth in what I said?” Chris turned, his gaze almost challenging you to speak out against the directors, not knowing that it was only serving to spur you on to speak out against him instead. 
 You scoffed, Chris standing up and awaiting your answer, a voice in you screaming at you not to be intimidated by him, especially with the way his head tilted down ever so slightly, his eyebrows raising expectantly. 
“Didn’t know they would just let any rude petty kid run any company these days,” you narrowed your eyes at him, folding your arms and straightening your posture. 
Seungmin, who was watching from his table with the legal team, grimaced, deeming Chris’ expression to be anything but friendly at the moment. 
“I don’t know, maybe it’s just a little unbelievable to me that I’m supposed to be answering to someone who just got the company handed to him,” your words were coming out faster than you could help it. I mean, you were probably going to get fired anyway, right? Might as well go down with a fight. 
“You don’t know anything about me,” Chris muttered, his voice firm, annoyance laced in his tone. Your words seemed to have triggered a spark in him, annoyed that you were doubting his abilities, blatantly disrespecting him even after knowing he could be your superior. 
Mr Bang had tapped Chris’ calf harshly, “enough, don’t keep y/n from eating.” 
Ignoring his words, Chris had stepped forward, staring you down as the tension had only thickened between the both of you. 
“But then, what would you know, right? What was that again? Right. What are you here for other than to look pretty, hmm?” He tilted his head at you, flashing you a smile that was practically dripping with sarcasm. 
You practically seethed with anger, your fists clenching as you unfolded your arms, your finger coming up to point at him, “you know what? I’d rather eat beansprouts for the rest of my life than work for you.” You scoffed. 
Chris' amused lilt to his smile was only serving to annoy you even more, making you storm over to your table with the other secretaries, all of them casting you looks of concern or shock that you would have confronted him like that. Picking up your jacket, you’d scoffed, casting him one last look before you left, not expecting to see him again afterwards. 
Well, that was the part you were very very wrong about. 
That night, you’d called your boyfriend over to submit him to a seemingly never-ending rant about Chris, getting a text from Seungmin halfway. 
“I mean, isn’t it good, then? That you can find another job?” Your boyfriend tried to reason, pressing a kiss to your neck as you straddled him where he was sitting leaning against your headboard. 
“That’s not the point,” you insisted, pausing to read the text that Seungmin had sent, oblivious to his urgent kisses trailing up to your jaw. 
seungmin (personal)  2:12am -consider yourself lucky. Spoke to Chan just now, make sure you show up to work tomorrow.- 
“The point is that, he’s arrogant. What? Telling me that I’m only here to look pretty?—“ 
“In his defence, you insulted him first.” 
You glared at your boyfriend, “Yeah, fine. But he provoked me first. And I don’t know, something about him just pisses me off,” you tried to reason, your boyfriend’s kisses beginning to distract you from your anger. 
“You know what, maybe you should just give him a shot. Maybe he’s not as bad as he seems?” 
And so you did as Seungmin had instructed, doing what you would’ve always done, grabbing your boss’ morning coffee before going to the office, ‘leisurely’ making your way upstairs as you tried to avoid any possible suit-clad blond-haired man. 
Upon reaching your desk, you’d set your things under your desk, opening your scheduler and doing a quick run through of Mr Bang’s schedule for the day, grabbing the coffee and knocking on the glass doors before entering. 
“Y/N! Just the person I wanted to see.” You nodded, walking over to place his coffee onto his table.
“You have the board meeting in half an hour, sir,” you informed him.  
“Right, thank you. Would you be a dear and be there to serve the refreshments?” 
You nodded, “yeah, sure.” 
“If all goes as planned, Chan- I mean, Chris, will be taking over from next week onwards. So this week will be the last week i’m here.” 
You frowned, “it’s a shame you’re retiring, you know,” your disappointment was evident in your tone.  
Mr Bang simply waved you off, “it’s about time, I’m sure little Chris will do a good job.” 
You’d kept your mouth shut, nodding as he stood up with his coffee cup in hand, looking at you with a smile, “shall we head down a little earlier, then?” 
You nodded, opening the door for him to exit and following him silently to the venue of the board meeting. You were surprised, to say the least, when you’d reached only to find Chris there already, currently in an animated conversation with one of the directors, smiling like you’d never seen before, dimples showing on his cheeks. 
Excusing yourself quickly, you’d gone to the pantry to prepare the drinks, your time here having made you familiar with the respective directors drink preferences. Carrying your tray carefully, you’d pushed the door open with your hip, seeing all the directors seated already, all seeming fairly comfortable around Chris, only serving to make the feeling of dread build in the pit of your stomach. 
Making your way around the table, you’d distributed the drinks to the directors personally, refusing to make eye contact with Chris as you gave him his stupid cup of tea. 
Once the meeting had started, you’d dismissed yourself outside the room, a part of you trying to listen in on the board meeting but not being able to hear much through the thick panelled glass. You were surprised when barely half an hour had passed and you’d heard applause in the room, peeping through the window to see Mr Bang give you a signal that you could come in. 
Pushing the door open carefully, you saw the directors practically lining up to congratulate Chris, leaving promptly after looking all-too satisfied with the outcome of the meeting. 
Mr Bang was speaking to Chris as the rest of the directors were leaving, “well, I guess this means my work here is as good as done. I’m sure your parents will be thrilled to hear the news,” he pat Chris on the back. 
You were about to head out with Mr Bang, eager to avoid Chris when you’d heard him speak, “Y/N, I’d like to speak with you for a moment. Is that alright?” He cast a look at his uncle, who waved him off. 
“Of course, she’s not my secretary anymore, remember?” You cast Mr Bang a look of distress, seeing him chuckle before giving you a thumbs up, exiting the room happily.  
You winced, turning around so you were facing Chris, seeing him walk over to where you were, holding out a thick bound stack of papers for you to take. 
“What’s this?” 
"A contract. You can pass it to me by the end of the day once you've made your decision. I trust that you're familiar with reading contracts?" he asked as you stared at the papers, flipping and scanning through the print, realising that his terms were considerably more demanding than his uncle. 
"You'll be able to find an additional attachment where I list what I would expect in a secretary. Feel free to consult me if you're unclear about any of them, though I don't think you would need to." 
Your eyes lingered on the section of the contract, stating that you would be on a year of probation, but that the contract could be terminated whenever he felt appropriate. 
"Whenever you deem appropriate?" you scoffed, looking up at him in disbelief. 
He smiled, "very pretty wording, don't you think?" 
"That's all I wanted to say. Remember, I'll expect your response by the end of the day." 
You stared blankly as he shrugged his jacket off, draping it on one arm. 
"Go ahead, what are you waiting for? You can go for your lunch break now," he urged, before his features pulled into a look of realisation, "oh, forgot. That is, unless you would rather eat...what was that again? Beansprouts?" 
Your mouth opened, making as if to retort before you shut your mouth quickly, your eyes widening as he walked over to you, his gaze intense and serious, a contrast to the demeanour he wore while chatting up the director previously. 
"I can handle myself, you know," you attempted to defend yourself, watching as Chris had shrugged. 
"You have one whole year to prove that to me." 
In that one year of working for Chris, you'd learnt a lot of things. Not only about your position as a secretary, but about Chris, ( not to mention, just exactly how spiteful he could be ).  
1. Sleep was a luxury. 
In your first week as his secretary, Chris had surprised you with the sheer rate of progress he was aiming, and moving at. It was as if all the rumours you'd heard before about his work ethic were a gross understatement of his tenacity. 
You'd been having trouble adjusting to his deadlines, especially since he had entrusted more tasks to you. From surprise presentations, to drafting up proposals and reports, not to mention submitting research to him. To you, it felt as if you were doing half the job for him. 
In short, you had never missed Mr Bang more than you did then. 
Of course, Seungmin being your voice of reason, would shut your rants down, claiming it was ‘about time you do your job’, but of course, you loved to complain. Especially since it was someone you didn't have very fond feelings for that was assigning you the work. You grew increasingly irritated in the time you were adjusting to your sleep schedule, which Chris, and your boyfriend had definitely noticed. 
Because of your changes in brain activity levels, you assumed (google could only diagnose so much), whenever sleep came to you, you welcomed it with open arms.  Since waking up had become even more of a chore to run over to the coffee shop and squeeze yourself between the crowd of working adults and panda-eyed college students to get his very specific breakfast order. 
You'd gone home from a birthday party of your boyfriend and your mutual friend, things having gotten a little...out of hand at your boyfriend's apartment since it'd been so long since you'd been able to spend time together, not with you always falling asleep during video calls or refusing them altogether for the sake of getting your work done. You'd missed him, and something about being apart made you miss his touch. 
Jolting awake, (as if your body had been able to tell that your sleep was too smooth), you'd instantly sensed that something was wrong when you saw the light streaming in from behind the curtains, knowing for a fact that you usually woke up when it was still a little dark out. 
Turning around, you'd fumbled for your phone on the bedside table, letting out a loud gasp when you saw the time. You were already a whole half-hour late. 
"Shit!" 
Your boyfriend startled, letting out a groan, his arm still lazily draped over your stomach. 
"Did my alarm ring?" you asked, shoving his hand off of you and groaning, slipping out of bed quickly as you put on your clothes from the day before, not having any more time to go back to your apartment and get a fresh change of clothes. 
"I don't know, I didn't hear anything," you heard your boyfriend mumble from where he lay. 
Cursing, you'd ran over to his bathroom, washing your face quickly, a gasp leaving your mouth as you inspected the angry marks on your neck through the mirror. 
"I hate you so much," you tugged up the collar of your turtleneck, successfully hiding the marks when you’d let your hair down. 
Grabbing your things, you'd sprinted downstairs, hailing the first cab you could see and heading to your office. 
Was he going to fire me? You were still on probation, so there was no reason he couldn't, right? 
You'd fixed your hair anxiously as you jogged into the lobby, your shoes clacking noisily against the floor as you ran into the lift, even debating on whether taking the stairs would have been a better idea as the lift went up at an achingly slow pace. 
Finally reaching your floor, you’d made your way to the meeting room, tossing your bags outside the door and entering with your laptop, notebook and pen, keeping your head down and avoiding Chris’ gaze as he was presenting to the room. 
Taking your seat at the only empty seat left, (unfortunately, closer to the front of the room), you’d let out a small sigh. Expecting to hear Chris comment on your tardiness or whatnot, you opened your laptop, picking up on the minutes where you could. 
Keeping your head down, you’d felt your colleague from the marketing team lean over to you as Chris had given everyone some time to analyse what he was showing on the screen, his lack of a comment making you even more anxious. 
“Your hair’s a mess,” she whispered, making you wince, your hand going up to comb your hair into a ponytail in your attempt to look neater, hearing your colleague gasp. 
“Dude! Put your hair back down, your neck,” she whispered, your eyes immediately darting to Chris’ direction, seeing that he was in fact staring at your jaw and neck as well, turning away quickly, the reddening of his ears giving him away.
Your hands let go of your hair as though you were burned, hearing your colleague snicker beside you, “I see someone had fun last night. Was that why you were late, too?” 
You shushed her as Chris cleared his throat, embarrassment flooding your senses as you continued to take minutes, hoping that he wouldn’t be as mad at you if you showed that you were trying your best. Fat chance, but hey, you could dream. 
Chris had started to assign things that he’d wanted the different departments to focus on for the project at hand, flashing a slide of deadlines that you watched people scramble to confirm with their existing information. You were secretly hoping someone would hold him back with a question so that he was too busy to confront you. 
Unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the case today. The meeting ended promptly, Chris leaving you in relative silence as you packed up your things, your colleagues giving you a look of sympathy as you followed him silently out of the room back to your desk. 
“In my office, please,” he murmured. 
You fiddled with your fingers, already anticipating for him to fire you. 
“Can you explain to me what happened this morning?” 
Your eyes widened, not daring to meet his gaze as it flickered between anything in the room other than him, “I uh..I didn’t um…I didn’t hear my alarm ring and nobody woke me up so I overslept.” 
Chris’ stare was unwavering, leaning against his desk and folding his arms, “so is it not your responsibility to make sure you show up to work on time?” 
“No, yeah of course it is—“ 
“Then I would like to see you be accountable for your mistakes,” he continued, “I’m not saying you can’t make mistakes, everybody makes mistakes. But if your mistake is what puts an entire room of people at an inconvenience, I would prefer if you were a little more apologetic about it.” 
You’d let a short period of silence fall between the both of you, “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, your gaze fixed firmly on his shoelace, “am I fired?” 
Chris let out a small sigh, shaking his head. “No, but, you know, if you ever let anything like this happen again, I won’t hesitate to fire you,” his voice was stern, annoyed almost. 
“And Y/N, if this,” you looked up at him watching him gesture to his neck with his hand before gesturing back to you, making you cower, tugging your collar further up your neck, “is what’s the issue here. I’d suggest you start prioritising.” 
“Sorry. It won’t happen again, I swear,” you rushed to speak, bowing quickly before exiting the room as fast as you could, wanting to tear your hair out in both annoyance and embarrassment. 
You’d jumped when you heard the sound of your desk speaker, Chris’ voice sounding through the phone, “Is there a problem, Y/N?” 
Your eyes widened, rushing over to your desk phone, shaking your head as you pressed the button to reply, “no, no! Not at all. There was just a… a bug here.” 
Chris huffed, bringing his hand up to hide his amusement, watching you scramble to regain your composure. 
2. Chris was a workaholic 
It was seeing (and experiencing) all the late nights in the office and the erratic pattern of his emails on weekends that drew you to this conclusion. His routine of sleeping late and then proceeding to get up at ungodly hours to either get work done or give up on the idea of a smooth sleep, since you were aware that he tended to have trouble sleeping. Not to mention the way it seemed to you as if the top priority in his life was his work, wanting to do his best to get the company to where he wanted it to be. 
After a few months of working for him, it was very clear to you that your job entailed not only taking care of his work, but taking care of him. 
You were going over to the legal team's office to collect the binders Chan had left to them, seemingly needing one of them now, thankful to have spotted Seungmin along the way as he was leaving his desk. 
Shooting you a look of sympathy, he'd peeked his head out to glance at your area, noticing everyone else in your team had gone home already. 
"Working late again?" 
You were sure you looked horrible, with bags under your eyes and your complexion looking dull from lack of sleep, but well, you had to earn a living, right? 
You shot him a pointed look, "you know the rules, can't go home until the boss goes home," you heaved a pained sigh. 
"You know, I'm starting to wonder if he even has a social life," you thought out loud, earning an amused grunt from Seungmin. 
"I could say the same about you." You ignored his comment. 
"What d'you need?" he asked, though you were already making your way to his superior's desk, grabbing the file and leaving a post-it to say it was with Chris. 
"Nothing, just this." You let out a small grunt at the weight of the binder, your wrists aching from all the filing you'd done that morning and afternoon (you never did notice until now how inefficient Chris' uncle's document organization system was). 
"All the best," he gave you a thumbs up, earning a pitiful pout from you before you'd headed back to Chris' office. 
Knocking on his door, you'd heard him murmur for you to come in, pushing the heavy doors open with your shoulder as you shoved your way through the doors,  placing the binder onto the coffee table where he'd had his documents and laptop laid out haphazardly. 
Chan's hair was a mess, likely from running his hands through it as he worked, his tie discarded and the top few buttons of his shirt undone, looking at you with tired eyes. 
He was about to ask you for some water, but you'd seemed to have read his mind, walking over to the table near his desk and pouring him a glass of warm water from the flask. 
"I'm almost done with the filing, but I'll be outside so you can let me know if you need anything." 
You'd felt your pocket buzz with a notification, momentarily taking your attention away from Chris. 
Chris glanced at the files before looking back at you in thought, stopping you before you could exit the room, "actually, can you help me to write a report on this, I'll need this by tomorrow afternoon." 
Knowing Chris' deadlines, that meant he would've needed it by tomorrow morning, which left you no choice other than to start working on it now. 
Chris picked up a small file with a post-it note stuck onto the file, handing it to you. 
"The points are all there. I would've done it myself but by the looks of it this is gonna take a while more than I expected," he sighed, his hands on his hips as he stared at the pile of papers in front of him in disdain. 
Chris never would've admitted that he'd started preparing the post-it notes for you in case he wasn't able to complete his work in time, since he usually opted to write from his head, but he knew you worked better with structure. He'd only realised after starting to do it that it helped him draft the write-ups more concisely, so of course, the reason was always 'for his own convenience', never creating opportunities for you to think he actually tried accommodating to you. 
"This current arrangement is very un-environmentally friendly," you mumbled, staring at the papers as well. 
"I'll go get this done now," you gave him a nod, exiting his office as you pulled your phone from your pocket, the text from your boyfriend practically glaring at you, asking if you were able to meet that night. 
10:47pm - sorry, working late :( gotta work on a report due tomorrow morning - 
Biting back your disappointment at having to bail on your boyfriend again, you'd nodded resolutely, pulling up your delivery app to order food for Chris before you started on the report lest he start to get irritable because he was hungry. 
And lastly, the point you couldn't quite seem to wrap your head around, was that 
3. He was very nice, just...not so much to you. 
After the oversleeping incident from before, it was safe to say you'd never let a similar mistake repeat itself. You were constantly making sure you were alert and responsive to anything Chris could possibly throw to you (and he knew this too). 
The only downside Chris saw to this, was that it seemed as though your attitude towards the directors hadn't changed. Still swallowing their disgusting comments and serving them with a smile, even if they were looking everywhere but your face. It irked Chris. And it irked him even more that the only one you seemed to serve without a smile, was him. 
Unbeknownst to him, you'd shared the same sentiments. 
"Do you ever look at someone and wonder what is going on in their head?" you spoke. 
Seungmin snorted, "wait, are you talking about the meme or..." your lack of a response made Seungmin follow your gaze (or glare) to where Chris was seated at the other end of the table, giggling and smiling as he spoke with the other secretaries. 
"Ah," Seungmin nodded, understanding now why your spoon hadn't moved an inch from your bowl, your grip around it almost death-like. 
"What are you so mad about? He's not doing anything?" 
You shot Seungmin a pointed look, your voice lowering to a murmur, "can't you see it? With them he's all rainbows and unicorn shit but with me it's like just smiling would kill him." 
You heard the secretaries letting out giggles and impressed sounds at something Chris had just said, the sound itself enough to make you annoyed. 
Seungmin's eyebrows furrowed, looking at you in scepticism, "you know the secretaries are only being nice because they're interns, right? I heard from one of them that they're actually really scared of him." 
Seungmin brought his chopsticks to his mouth, taking a piece of food from your bowl that he knew you weren't going to eat anyway, "especially after they saw how he spoke to you during the meeting the other day,"
You scoffed, "good to know that I was the warning." 
Your phone buzzed, signalling a text from your boyfriend. Strangely enough, it'd been a while since you'd texted him, since you were busy with work and he was busy with school. 
Ignoring it initially, too distracted by Chris, it wasn't long before you saw his caller ID show up on the screen, getting Seungmin's attention. 
"I think you should answer that," he gestured, making you glance around the table in your hesitance, not knowing if it would be rude to just exit halfway. 
Picking up the phone-call, you'd turned your head, lowering your volume to a murmur, "hello?" 
"Hey, can we talk? I really need to tell you something." 
You winced, "is it urgent? I'm at a team dinner right now." 
Your boyfriend sighed, scoffing, "it really is always work with you, huh." 
"What's that supposed to mean?" 
You glanced at the table, standing up to excuse yourself. Chris's expression read confusion, eavesdropping on a secretary asking what happened, Seungmin replying that it was your boyfriend calling. 
You'd made your way outside the restaurant, Chris glancing in your direction and spotting you walk past the restaurant's windows, a part of him shaking off whatever curiosity that lingered in him as he focused on his conversation. After all, you did tell him you could handle yourself, right? 
Where you were, you'd moved to a quieter spot outside the restaurant, "okay, I can talk now. What's up?" 
You kicked at the ground absently as you awaited his reply. 
"Look, are you free to meet tonight? There's something I need to tell you." 
"Uh..." you glanced into the restaurant, making eye contact with Chris before looking away, "I've got to work later, though. I need to get some research done for this review that i'm behind on, I don't wanna meet you if i'm just gonna end up on my computer while you're there, you know?" 
Your boyfriend nodded, "you know, that's kind of what i wanted to talk to you about." 
"Oh," a feeling of dread was building in your stomach, recognising your boyfriend's tone to be the one he used whenever he was talking about something serious. 
The first time you heard it was when you witnessed him on a work phone-call, the second being how he spoke to your parents the first time they'd met, but this time, you had a feeling you knew what was coming. 
"Let's break up." 
You fell silent, not knowing how to respond to his words. 
"Is it, um.... is it because of my work?" You asked, a part of you not being able to come to terms with the fact that it could have been your fault, "because you know I can't do anything about that." 
Your boyfriend sighed, "I know. I'm just talking about how you've been so emotionally invested in your work you don't even have the energy to maintain this relationship." 
You frowned, "what, what do you want me to do, quit my job? Will that be better for you?" 
"Look, i've been seeing someone," he began. Your heart sank. 
"And i'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of the reason. But... it was only when I started seeing her that I realised... things between us just weren't the same as before." 
Your heart felt heavy, a part of you knowing that he was making it a lot easier to be mad at him by confessing what he did, but another part of you couldn't help but prompt him further. 
"When did it start?" 
"That doesn't matter-" 
You sighed, taking your lower lip between your teeth, "it's fine, I just wanna know." 
"Fine, it was about a month in from you working for your new boss." 
You nodded slowly, still trying to process his words. You weren't quite sure what came over you when you saw Chris exiting the restaurant, turning to face your direction and spotting you in the alley. But it was as if you were so mad at yourself, mad at him, mad at your boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend now), that you'd ended the call, shoving your phone into the pocket of your blazer before heading over to where Chris was. 
"You guys aren't going home?" you heard one of the secretaries ask as you and Chris had approached his car, his driver already sitting in the car and waiting. 
Chris shook his head with a smile, "nope, we're heading back to the office." 
You mustered a smile as you bid them goodbye, you guessed this was probably the best time to bury yourself in your work as a poor coping mechanism after a breakup, as far as movie breakups went.  
The car-ride was silent, despite the pinging of your phone, making you switch it to silent mode halfway, earning a curious look from Chris, though he didn't make to ask you about it. 
Upon reaching the office, the both of you had gone back into your clockwork routine, as you sat in his office working on your computer and scribbling down on your notebook the important details you wanted him to check. Chris found that your background in law and journalism made it a lot easier whenever it came to reading and condensing information, which had only allowed him to trust you more when it came to getting tasks like that done, saving him precious time he could spend working on other things. 
The buzzing of your phone was growing more frequent, though it was as if you were oblivious to it now as you typed away at your computer. 
"Right, can you help to postpone tomorrow afternoon's meeting, and help me to make a reservation at the steak place, 2 people." 
You hadn't made to move, pulling your phone out but having gotten distracted at the multitude of missed calls and texts just because your boyfriend wanted to 'make sure you were okay'. Please. 
"Hello? Can you hear me?" you heard Chris call, snapping you out of your daze as his gaze searched your expression, trying to read your emotions. 
"Sorry, can you repeat that? I didn't hear you." 
Chris sighed, his annoyance at your phone that had lit up with a call again getting the better of him, "you know I don't ask you to stay later just for you to waste my time, you know." 
Your gaze hardened. There it was, the side of Chris that you had the 'privilege' of being at the brunt of, nowhere near the smiley giggly Chris you witnessed at the restaurant just now. 
"I said I was sorry. What do you want me to do?" 
Chris huffed, his gaze darting to your phone as he spoke, "reservation for 2 people tomorrow afternoon, the steak place my mom likes. Postpone tomorrow afternoon's appointment with Director Lee." He told you slowly, his tone as if speaking to a young child, which only served to piss you off even more. 
"Who's calling you?" he asked. 
You shook your head in dismissal, "my...uh..." you weren't sure how to respond, watching dumbly as he made his way to where you were, lifting your phone to read the contact before letting out a huff. 
"Okay, well you can tell your boyfriend that if you're gonna be this distracted at work, you can kiss your night goodbye." 
You inhaled deeply, absolutely upset but knowing there wasn't much you could do about it. You loved your job, even though you hated to admit it. Ever since Chris came in, you were getting a lot more work experience and exposure, especially with how he would make it mandatory for you to attend certain language courses that would help him whenever you accompanied him on networking events or business galas. 
And in that moment, you couldn't help but think back to what he'd said the first time he'd scolded you when he'd told you to figure out your priorities. Maybe your boyfriend called you at the right time, maybe you just weren't ready to focus on things other than your career at this point of time. 
Turning your phone off, you'd made sure Chris saw that it was off, raising your hands up in surrender, "done. I'll book your stupid reservation now." You stalked out before Chris could chime in with a 'watch your tone'. 
=== 
You'd been working for Chris for what was coming to 2 years now. The company had been reaping the results of their hard work for a while now, and you were thankful that even though you weren't as busy as before, you still managed to keep your job. Other than the fact that Chris’ hair was now back to dark brown, not much else had changed. 
Although, one tiny change you were starting to wish for was that Chris would at least try to make things a little more bearable for you. 
You were currently at a meeting with the directors where Chris was presenting the overview of the company's performance in the past month. You would have to say you were pretty satisfied with the work you'd both done on that, working a lot more efficiently now compared to when you'd first started out. 
Your silent admiration of the presentation was interrupted when one of the directors summoned you over to ask for a cup of coffee.
Doing as you were told ( much to Chris' dismay ), you'd gone and come back in record time with his hot cup of coffee, bending down and making your way to where the director sat, not wanting to prevent any of them from seeing what Chris was presenting. 
While he was presenting, it didn't take Chris very long to realise why the director had kept asking you for things, your position from where you were squatting next to him making it all-too-easy for him to ogle at you without you noticing. 
For some reason, this seemed to have gotten on Chris' nerves, especially because that director's secretary was simply minding her own business at the back of the room. 
Did Chris think what you were wearing that day was nice? He'd say he didn't but of course he did. But unlike the director, he preferred not to be so blatant about it, especially because you were always so rude towards him. 
You'd tensed momentarily when the director had grabbed your arm, about to get up when you heard Chris' voice get louder. 
"Y/N, I'd appreciate if you would stop distracting the directors and go back to your seat." 
(Later on, Seungmin would be struggling to hold back his laughter in the printing room when Chan told him to tell you to button up your blouse a little more. 
“Why can’t you just tell her yourself?” 
Chan scoffed, “knowing her, she’s just gonna think I was looking at her… chest or something.” 
Seungmin narrowed his eyes at Chan teasingly, “well, were you?” 
Chan waved him off with a groan, “just tell her, okay? The directors are having a field day with her looking like that.”)
You'd almost scoffed at the way the director had immediately let go of you, and you straightened up quickly, heading back to sit with the other secretaries. 
"That was harsh," you heard one of the secretaries murmur to you, making you shrug. 
"Whatever, not like I expected more from him anyway." 
(You did, you totally did. You'd kill for him to be less grating with his words). 
After the meeting, you'd felt a phone ring in your bag, pulling it out to see that Chris' mom was calling, obviously not having been able to reach him. Making your way to where he was, you'd interrupted his packing of his things. 
"Your mom is calling you," you'd told him out of habit, holding his phone out for him to take, jumping slightly when you'd heard one of the directors let out a dismayed grunt. 
"Is that any way to talk to your boss?" 
Your eyes widened, Chris seeming to be enjoying the situation play out before him as you regained your composure, looking back at Chris with a sickly sweet smile on your face. In front of the directors, you couldn't act up like how you usually did when it was just the both of you, so you had no choice but to be all smiles
"President Bang, your mother is calling you," you told him, and if you were annoyed, you didn't show it, having years of practice from dealing with the directors. 
"uh-huh," Chris smirked, taking the phone from your hands and answering it as he gestured for you to help him gather his papers. 
"No, mom. I’ve told you already, i’m really fine with how things are now. I'm not going on another one." 
Not that you cared, but you had to admit you were kind of curious as to what he was so insistently refusing.
"Yes, okay, bye," he hung up, handing the phone back to you. 
You'd tried your best to suppress your curiosity, seeing as he was about to be late for his next meeting with one of his friends if he hadn't hurried. 
Fixing your blouse, you'd carried your laptop in your arm as you walked with him back to his office, with you going into the lift first, Chris having chosen the wrong time to step in as a girl you recognised as one of the interns had done so too, the number of people squeezing into the lift causing her to jerk her arm, her coffee landing unceremoniously on Chris’ tie and shirt. 
Chris let out a hiss at the temperature of the liquid, eliciting a long string of apologies from the girl. You knew that if it was you that had spilled the coffee, he would be going on and on about carelessness now, but the intern obviously wasn’t you, and so you watched in envy as Chris had given her a smile, dismissing her apologies quickly. 
“It’s fine, really. I just hope you still have some coffee left to drink,” he laughed. 
Not only was he not upset, but he was joking with her too? 
You scoffed, rolling your shoulders back as you’d watched the numbers on the elevator rise till it reached your floor, the girl looking scared for her life when you’d cast her a look, bowing to you apologetically. 
“Where did you keep the spare change of clothes?” Chris asked as he’d begun loosening his tie. 
You hadn’t responded as he let you walk before him into his office, making your way over to one of the cupboards at the side of the room and opening it, pulling out a hanger with a nicely ironed set of work clothes. 
“You can go and get changed, I’ll wait here,” you murmured, Chris walking over to where you were and giving you his stained tie. 
God, you hoped his dry-cleaning run wouldn’t make you late for your lunch appointment. 
Looking at his tie, you brought it up closer to your face to inspect the material, it was a well-made tie, you had to say. Not too skinny, the material feeling almost luxurious in your hold, tempting you to put it on in your boredom. 
Hanging it round your neck, you mustered your best ‘Chris accent’.
“You should be accountable for your mistakes! Don’t you know how many people you’re inconveniencing? Now I have a tie that reeks of coffee, look,” you held up the tie with a gasp, “and my secretary’s gonna be late for her lunch meeting!” You pointed accusatorially at the small black penholder that sat on his desk. 
“Yeah! Do you know how much you’re inconveniencing me? I don’t ask you to show up to work to waste my time—“ 
You’d stopped in your tracks when you heard Chris clearing his throat, grimacing as you tried to regain your composure, taking off the tie as quickly as you could, holding it tightly in your palm as you turned to face him. 
“Having fun?” 
“No,” you shot back quickly, not even wanting to ask how long he’d been standing there. 
Walking over to you, he’d handed you his stained shirt, his expression like that of a parent that had caught their kid doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. 
“You know, sometimes I wish you’d talk back to the directors like how you talk back to me.” 
Your eyes widened, confused at his sudden comment, but not having the time to respond as Chris continued. 
“Get these dry-cleaned over lunch. The stain’ll be harder to get out the longer you wait.” 
You huffed, already walking away from him, “well, when you say it like that I’d might as well go do it now.” 
You'd been keeping yourself busy with replying emails when you heard the elevator ding, the sound of footsteps getting louder before you saw a considerably young, suit-clad man walking towards your desk. 
"I'm here to see Chris? I'm Director Kang," he told you, though you didn't need him to introduce himself, knowing very well who he was. 
"He's in there," you held a finger up to signal him to wait as you picked up your desk telephone, pressing a button to page Chris. 
"Director Kang's here to see you." 
"Okay, send him in."
Chris closed the work he was doing on his desktop, making his way over to the leather couches as he saw his friend enter the room. 
"Yo, when were you planning on telling me about your hot secretary?" 
Chris' eyebrows raised, "didn't think that was something worth mentioning."
"Well, why not?" his friend frowned, his features pulling into one of shock, "wait, don't tell me... you guys are dating?" 
Chris rolled his eyes, "no, we're not. And please, for both our sakes, don't try anything funny with her." 
The director was about to respond, interrupted by your knocking on the door, the door opening slightly so you could enter. 
"Can I get you anything? Like a drink? Coffee? Tea?" you asked. 
The director simply looked at you curiously, sitting with his ankle resting on his other knee, "only if you'd care to join me." 
Chris glared at his friend, shutting him up quickly before he could say anything more, "coffee for him, I don't want a drink."
You nodded, exiting quickly.
"What did you come to tell me about?" 
"Must I have a reason to come and visit my beloved friend?" 
Chris rolled his eyes, "my time is precious." 
This made the director scoff, "is that your excuse now? Anyway, I came to ask if you were going for Brian's wedding next weekend." 
"Oh, yeah, right. He asked me about it last night and I said I would go, you?" 
Director Kang rolled his eyes, "can't, I've got a business trip that weekend." 
Chris hummed in acknowledgement, "that reminds me. I should get a gift for them soon. Who'd he say he was marrying again?" 
"This girl he met at work, she's nice. But, you know, not my type." 
As if that wasn't enough, Director Kang continued, "anyway, are you bringing a date?" 
He was interrupted once again by the sound of your knocking, the door opening as you made your way over to them, bending to place the cup of coffee down onto the table, making Director Kang gesture to you with his head, mouthing 'you should bring her'. 
Waving him off, Chris was eager to get Director Kang’s attention away from you, almost as if wanting to protect you from getting swayed by him, knowing the outcome was never too bright. 
"Y/N, you can go for an early lunch break today." 
Your eyebrows raised, the prospect seeming almost too good to be true. Since when was he so nice? 
"Huh? But I still have some stuff to hand the legal team..." you sounded unsure, though you did consider this to be luck since you were supposed to meet one of your friends from college for lunch today. 
Chris gave you a stern look, waving you off, making you raise your hands in surrender. 
“Okay, okay, I’ll go.” 
On your way out, you’d texted your friend that you were gonna be able to meet earlier, pleasantly surprised when she’d told you she was already in the area and that she was able to head over now. 
You’d managed to drop off Chris’ clothes for dry-cleaning before heading to the restaurant, spotting your friend already seated at your table. 
“Hey! Wow, you look great!” She told you, giving you a hug in greeting. 
“Feel a lot better compared to last year,” you joked, making her frown. 
“Your boss still giving you trouble?” 
Shrugging, you’d taken a seat, “nothing out of the ordinary. Seems like it’s part of his daily routine to annoy me.” 
She laughed, “I ordered our food already, if you don’t mind.” 
Shaking your head, you waved in dismissal, “no, yeah, I don’t mind. Thanks. Anyway, you look pretty good yourself, how’ve you been?” 
You didn’t miss the way she’d leaned closer to you, tucking her hair behind her ear in a pointed gesture, drawing your attention to the large gemstone on her ring. 
Your eyes widened, “no way.” 
She nodded, “I wanted to tell you sooner but you were so busy! I was glad enough I managed to squeeze in this lunch with you,” she told you, making you pout. 
“When’s the wedding?” You asked. 
“Next week. We’re going to have it in this beautiful church out of town, really really nice place,” she told you, “really romantic, too,” she added as an afterthought. 
You let out a deep sigh, “I hope you’re not going where I think you’re going with this.” 
She gave you a scandalised look, pausing as the waiter had come to deliver your food, “first of all, Brian has a lot of good-looking friends!” 
You gave her a look, prompting her to continue, “well, not that I’ve seen all of them but he tells me that a lot of them are single! And you know who else is single…” she pointed her finger towards you with an overly excited glint to her grin. 
“We’ve been through this a million times, Eujin. I’ve tried but it’s really hard to find a guy that’s willing to cope with… you know, my kind of schedule,” you gave her a tired (wistful) sigh, “and with my schedule, I doubt I have the time, not to mention the energy to date.” 
Eujin’s lips twisted into a frown, “but it’s been so long! Don’t you want to get back in the dating scene?” 
You scoffed, cutting into your food harshly before taking a bite. 
“Of course I do. But the last time I went on a date the guy basically shat on me for being a workaholic,” you huffed, “I mean, my boss’ working hours means my working hours, shouldn’t they just shit on him instead? Why is it my fault that he’s basically destroyed what I have left of a social life.” 
Eujin shot you a look of sympathy, “I’d say I pitied you, but it’s not like you can’t get a job anywhere else, you know?” 
You’d kept your mouth shut at that, “I know… it just… I can’t just leave when I’ve already gotten so used to how things work here.” 
Of course that was one reason, but you would never admit that there was a nagging inside of you that didn't trust Chris to look after himself if you weren't here, remembering how he'd overworked himself during a crucial period after he took over the company, and you'd found him passed out on his desk when you showed up to work that day. 
You'd sort of made a silent promise that as much as you didn't like him, you still cared for him in a way. In the way a secretary would care for her boss, totally. 
You decided to change the topic, not wishing to talk about your hopeless love life at the moment. 
“What’s the program gonna be like?” 
Eujin’s eyes lit up, setting her cutlery down as she clasped her hands together, “Okay, so. The plan is for it to be a sort of weekend-long thing,” she told you, holding her finger up. 
“Firstly, on Thursday night we’ll have a little girls night type thing, and then Friday is the rehearsal dinner, Saturday will kind of be a little rest day and then Sunday is the actual wedding,” she said, now holding up four fingers to you. 
Your head was spinning at the (rather enticing) thought of taking basically 4 days off of work, before the dread settled in that you had to ask Chris for permission to take those days off. 
“I hope my boss will let me take time off…” you murmured, already rehearsing in your head possible ways on how you could tell him. 
Eujin gave you a resolute look, “you can do it! If he says no just let me know, I’ll go over to your fancy office and fight whoever he is myself.” 
=== 
“How many days?” 
Chris had asked at your desk as he prepared to leave to meet his mom for lunch since she’d happened to be in the business district. 
You fiddled with your pen anxiously, “uh..4 days? Technically 3 and a half. But 2 of those are weekends I just need you to make sure you just don’t bother me on that weekend it’s a really important weekend.” 
Chris narrowed his eyes at you, unsure why you were so insistent on him leaving that weekend alone, nodding slowly. 
Whatever, he figured, she’s just lucky I’m busy that weekend too. 
“Okay.” 
“I swear I’ll—wait, you’re okay with it?” 
Chris shrugged, straightening his tie, “yeah. I’ve got something on that weekend too.” 
You let out a surprised hum, “oh… cool. Thanks…Mr Bang,” you added as a force of habit, not wanting to risk getting scolded for ‘insubordination’ again just because you didn’t call him by his honorific. 
Chris huffed, leaving before you could see his ears reddening. 
Over lunch, Chris’ mom had been inspecting him carefully as he ate, as if the answer to her worries lay in every piece of sushi he ate. 
“Is there something you’re not telling me? Are you… gay?” She asked, continuing, “because if you are you know you can just tell me, instead of constantly upsetting the girls I try to set you up with.” 
Chris gave her a unamused look, “mom, I’ve told you a thousand times. I would really love to date, but it’s hard to find someone with a similar work ethic as myself, that can keep up with my… lifestyle and who really understands my needs, you know?” 
This made Chris’ mom perk up, “that’s it! Why don’t you just date your secretary!” 
Chris almost choked on his sushi, fumbling to grab his glass of water to calm himself down and compose himself. 
“What,” he spoke between coughs, “gave you that idea?” 
His mom looked at him in disbelief, “whatever you just said, you were basically describing her, no? And plus, we’ve heard a lot of wonderful things about her from your uncle.”
Chris couldn’t help but entertain the possibility in his head. It was true, you did work at a very efficient pace with him, not to mention how spending almost everyday in such close contact with him made you understand his own needs and wants even better than he did on occasions. Chris shook his head, that wasn’t possible, right? You looked as though you’d absolutely hated him half the time, he’d be expecting too much from you if he’d expected you to fall for him. 
Chris shook his head, dismissing the thought from both him and his mom’s minds quickly, “no, mom. I’m fine with how things are between us right now.” 
Chris had let you leave the office earlier on Thursday, (much to your surprise) allowing you to have ample time to pack your bags and get a cab to the destination, Eujin having taken the liberty and helped you book your hotel beforehand. 
Upon reaching, you’d texted Eujin saying you’d reached. 
eujin 6:54pm -yay!! Lets just chill in one of our rooms, we can discuss it in the chatgroup!!- 
Trust her to be excitable even about the smallest things. 
You saw an incoming text from Seungmin. 
seungmin (personal)  6:54pm -what where r u I went over to find u but both u and Chris weren’t here- 
6:55pm -im at a friends wedding, took the weekend off-
seungmin (personal)  6:55pm -wow finally using your employee perks nvm then have fun- 
You’d checked in, marvelling at the cozy yet elegant look of the hotel as you made your way through the lobby, letting the lift take you up to your hotel room floor. 
Changing into more comfortable clothes, you’d seen the group chat saying to gather in Eujin’s room, with mentions of ordering pizza. Considering this was your first weekend away from work in a very, long while, you were determined to make the most of it, heading over to Eujin’s room. 
You hadn’t expected to be welcomed as warmly as you were, hearing comments of ‘we were so happy you could make it!’ Or ‘thank God you could take time off!’, sharing the same sentiments as them as you’d let Eujin pull you onto the bed, the softness of the sheets and pillows instantly making a content sigh leave you. 
“I ordered room service,” Eujin sing-songed, gesturing to the Champagne bottles and whatnot on the tray next to the bed. 
“I’ll have one,” you raised your hand, earning a laugh from one of your friends. 
“Tired from work?”  
You let out a loud groan, nodding. This made Eujin nod gravely, “I swear, if I ever see your boss in real life, I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind.” 
You scoffed, “you don’t even know what he looks like.” You’d gratefully accepted the glass of champagne that was handed to you. "and plus, he's not that bad, other than the fact that he finds joy in pissing me off. He just works too hard in my opinion." 
You’d spent your time enjoying the once chance you could relax to your heart’s content without feeling dread at having to wake up early the following day, enjoying yourself as you leant against the headboard of the bed, listening to stories about how they’ve been and how all of them were either planning on getting engaged soon, were in long-term relationships or already married. 
“You guys make me wanna get married too,” you pouted, earning bouts of laughter from them. 
“You’d have to actually date to do that, you know,” they told you pointedly, making you sigh. 
“You’re basically married to your job, already,” your friend chimed in, making you laugh. 
“Seems like that, doesn’t it? I was super shocked he’d let me have the weekend off, usually he’d be swarming me with emails about now.” 
“I’m excited to see Brian’s friends tomorrow, maybe there’ll be someone that catches your eye,” Eujin told you, making you shrug. 
“Just out of curiosity, though, what are you looking for in a guy? You know, we could help you keep an eye out too.” 
You hummed, shrugging. 
“I’ve never really thought of a specific…criteria I guess. I guess I’d just like someone that’s kind, looks out for me, doesn't underestimate me...sort of has the same lifestyle as me? Since it’s honestly been really hard to find someone that doesn’t hate my schedule.” 
You'd almost scoffed at the way your brain had refused to picture anyone else other than Chris while you thought about it, figuring it was probably because he was the only guy you were in constant contact with. 
Eujin looked at you resolutely, “we’ll do our best,” she held up a fist in an action to cheer you on. 
You shrugged, You figured maybe going into this with an open mind would do you some good. 
You changed the topic, directing the focus back to Eujin, “whatever, let’s just have fun, it’s your big day soon, let’s just celebrate!”
===
At the rehearsal dinner, you had yet to arrive, since you’d spent a little longer getting ready, choosing to use your opportunity to dress up a little more, not having the luxury to do so during your usual work days. 
You had texted Eujin that you were on the way with some of the other bridesmaids, her attention directed elsewhere when her fiancé had called her over. 
“Hey, wanted you to meet some of my friends from law school.” 
While being introduced, Eujin couldn’t help but wonder if they were single, remembering your mentioned criteria from the night before. 
“Oh, so are you guys all working in the law sector now?” 
Her husband shook his head, “All of them, except Chan here. He’s the ceo of Bang Mobile Media company.” 
Eujin’s eyes widened, glancing at the brown-haired boy cautiously, as if sizing him up. Y/N worked in a mobile company too, right? If she was remembering this correctly. Was it mobile or broadcasting? 
“Oh, wow. That’s impressive.” 
Eujin had let them introduce themselves more, not being able to help but think that Chan was nice, friendly, and rich on top of that? 
“I don’t get it, how are you single? You’re basically the whole package!” She wondered out loud, making Chan flush, giggling as he shook his head. 
Her husband seemed to have begged to differ, “Chan is incorrigible when it comes to his love life.” 
Eujin raised her eyebrows in surprise, not having expected someone so good-looking to have such a fate, “really? Is there a reason behind that?” 
“He’d never dated much, even back when he was in Australia. He was always super dedicated to his work,” this had served to make Eujin even more positive about this guy’s prospects as a suitor for you. 
“Oh my god, you’re exactly like one of my friends, I should totally introduce her to you when she comes later.” 
“Hey, cut him some slack,” one of his friends had spoken up, “Chan can’t cheat on his job.” 
Eujin felt her phone vibrate signalling a notification, pulling it out to see that you’d arrived already, excusing herself and practically running over to the entrance of the venue. “Chan, you stay put, I have just the perfect girl to introduce you to!” 
“Y/N! You have to come quick, I think I found the perfect guy for you.” 
Your eyes widened, clutching onto the chain of your bag as you followed her into the room. 
“He’s really nice, and friendly, and he’s good-looking! Really cute dimples! And on top of that he’s loaded. I’m so excited for you to meet him.” 
Letting her drag you along, you’d distracted yourself with the atmosphere of the area, wondering just how much it would cost to book a venue like this, tugging down your dress that was hiking up from practically running after Eujin. 
“Hey, I have someone I’d like you to meet. Chan, this is Y/N,” Eujin chirped, the names causing the both of your heads to shoot up, locking eyes with each other as a feeling of doom built in the pit of your stomach. 
Your eyes widened in panic, glancing down at your attire, back to him, who was dressed in a flowy black shirt that you were sure cost more than your one week’s pay, the top few buttons of his shirt undone to reveal a simple silver necklace, and fitted black pants, your gaze landing on the small silver rings on his ears, almost feeling as though you were looking at a different person. 
Chris thought so too, seeming to have the same panic as you as he tried not to let his gaze linger too long on your dress, nodding his head at you in greeting, “nice to uh…meet you.” 
His ears had felt hot as you nodded back at him, almost startling when Eujin had cheered, leaning over to whisper to you, “I’ll make sure you guys get to sit next to each other.” 
You were about to protest when she’d left, leaving you standing at the bar with Chris. 
“So, Y/N, how do you know the bride to be?” 
You gulped, wanting to slap yourself for how your gaze had kept returning to Chris, unable to shake the feeling of needing to be in work-mode now with his presence before you. 
“Oh, uh, we were friends since college,” you answered simply. 
“Cool, did you guys have the same major?” Chris had to stop himself from glaring at his friend, a strange feeling inside of him as he recognised the look on his friend’s face and his posture to be that which he used whenever he was interested in a girl. 
You shook your head, “uh, not quite. I majored in law but she majored in journalism.” You tried to respond as calmly as you could, not being able to shake Chris’ gaze off of you, feeling as though at any moment he was going to call you out for something you weren’t even aware of.
You saw the guy practically light up at the mention of law. 
“Woah, that’s really coincidental. All of us met in law school,” he gestured to the group of them, making you laugh nervously. 
“Where are you guys um… dates?” You asked, immediately regretting the question when you saw the way Chris was practically glaring at you. 
You didn’t understand why he was glaring at you, wasn’t it a valid question? 
“We didn’t bring dates, unfortunately. Did you?” 
You shook your head, making Chris snort. “Does it look like she brought a date? She literally came in alone.” 
You narrowed your eyes at him, unsure where his spitefulness was coming from, especially when his friend was just trying to make conversation with you. 
You scoffed, folding your arms. “Yeah, pity. Maybe I’d have time to date if I wasn’t always so busy running around doing shit for my boss,” you cast a pointed glance at him, bringing a hand up to nonchalantly run it through your hair. 
Chris smirked, two could play at this game.
“Same here, I’d probably have the time to date too if my secretary wasn’t always causing trouble.” 
“Your secretary?” His friend spoke up, “I heard from someone she was pretty cute, and nice too.” 
You’d almost wanted to agree, realising that if you did it would put you in a pretty compromising position, simply acting surprised. 
“If I had a secretary like that, I’d just date her,” one of his friends had spoken up, making your eyes widen, wracking your brain for possible responses. 
“Who knows, are you a workaholic?” You asked pointedly, earning amused grunts and laughs from his friends, “ah… it’d be too bad if I was your secretary, then. I absolutely can’t stand dating workaholics.” 
Chris narrowed his eyes at you, the both of you knowing you were just as bad at him, replying calmly, “oh, you can’t stand dating workaholics? Me neither.” 
You were thankful that Eujin had given you a small break when she'd invited everyone to take their seats so dinner could be served, wincing when you'd ended up sitting next to Chris out of habit, momentarily forgetting that you weren't attending a networking session. 
You'd hoped and prayed that you wouldn't slip up more than you already did. As much as you'd wanted to spite him, he was still your boss, and you knew he'd give you an earful for even the slightest hint of disrespect ( which you were sure you'd surpassed already ). 
Focusing on the gorgeous food they'd served you, you saw the waiter pick up the bottle of wine, pouring it for you. 
Having been oblivious, the waiter was about to pour a glass for Chris as well, making your secretary-instincts kick in, your arm darting across Chris to stop the waiter in time. 
"No, Mr Bang, you shouldn't drink that." 
Chris would have looked fairly amused if he wasn't stressed out by your proximity, with you practically leaning over him to speak to the waiter. 
You'd cursed internally, wincing at the way Chan's friend had looked at you, tilting his head in confusion. 
"Mr Bang? And how do you know his alcohol preference?" 
Chris let out a nervous giggle as you straightened up, "uh...well um like...you know it's a really funny story actually... we're um..." 
Not being able to bear his awkward fumbling any longer, you'd butt in, "We work in the same company. Yeah." 
You were lucky his friend had bought it, simply nodding in understanding, "no wonder, you guys were being so weird just now." 
Chris scoffed, "what weird?" 
You turned around in your chair, pretending to pick up your bag, "stop, you're making it worse," you murmured so he could hear you, making him bring his glass of water to his lips. 
One of your girl friends had spoken up, halfway through the meal, "wait, i just realised. If you guys work in the same office, then you must know her boss right? That dude is crazy. We all thought it was a miracle that she could take time off for the wedding," 
You glared at your friend, trying to subtly shake your head in your attempt to stop her, but she was oblivious, "she doesn't like it when we badmouth him but it's true! Ever since she started working for him it's like her social life just disappeared. Her boss is always her first priority." 
You'd never related more to how people said they wished the ground would swallow you whole. Looking down at your food, you'd tried to remain nonchalant about it, but Chris who was next to you was looking at your friend with wide eyes. 
"Oh, really? What else does she say about him?" 
You laughed nervously, waving your hands in dismissal, "nothing that concerns you."
Chris turned to you, dropping his volume to a murmur, "is that so? because i'm hearing all this and i'm getting the feeling it definitely concerns me." 
You let out a huff of anxious laughter, bringing your glass to your lips, consuming your drink in sips because your boss was sitting next to you, but secretly wishing you could down it all in one go. 
Soon enough, all your anxious sipping had made you reach an empty glass, the waiter coming over to refill it for you, earning an eyebrow raise from Chris. 
"Leave me alone," you huffed. 
Chris simply laughed, "what? I didn't say anything." 
You'd tried to pay attention to the proceedings of the wedding rehearsal, and after dessert was served people had started to mingle around more, the drinks having started to kick in as you'd felt a lot more relaxed. 
It was safe to say Eujin was as well, going around to talk to the guests and thank them for coming out of town for the celebrations. 
Soon enough, you were almost done with your fourth glass, oblivious to the way Chris was looking at you, impressed yet concerned. Feeling skinny arms drape over your shoulders, you turned your head to see none other than Eujin, cooing at you affectionately. 
"Tell your boss a huge thank you for letting you have this weekend. I couldn't even get to see you on my birthday or for the engagement party, but i'm so so glad you're here now." 
You couldn't help but glance at Chris, knowing that you'd missed both of those events because you were helping him with something. The first being when he'd almost overworked himself enough to warrant a visit to the hospital since he hadn't been sleeping or eating well (after that, you swore you'd make sure this man was getting his three meals if you could help it), and the second time being when you had to accompany him to a keynote session out of town. 
You were starting to think maybe there was a little more to unpack behind your reasons why you stayed working for Chris Bang. Your only consolation at this point of time being that the rehearsal dinner was ending soon, meaning that you could finally escape the suffocating tension you were feeling. 
"Wanna hitch a ride back together? I drove here." 
You'd almost declined, feeling as if you didn't have a right to be in his car if it wasn't work-related. Chris had seemed to sense your hesitation, simply not waiting for a reply and walking off, hoping his smile wasn't too obvious when he'd heard you jogging to meet his pace. 
He'd surprised you even more when he'd opened the passenger door for you, shutting it gently after you'd gotten in. 
You'd given in to the comfort of his car almost immediately, more-so when Chris had gone to take something from the boot of his car, getting into the driver's seat and draping the soft blanket over your lap. 
"The drive back's pretty long, might wanna make yourself comfortable." 
And you were comfortable, very comfortable. Chris had started to play some music from his playlist, something about his behaviour almost making you forget that he was the same boss that had worked you to the bone for over a year. 
"I'm sorry," you suddenly spoke, once you were in the city, "about what my friends said," you weren't sure where all your courage was coming from, maybe it was the many glasses of wine, but whatever it was, it was putting Chris in an awfully reflective mood. 
"And what I said," you added as an afterthought. 
Chris took his lower lip between his teeth, shaking his head, “nah, don’t worry about it.”
Obviously, that seemed too good to be true, and you’d looked over at his expression in your attempt to figure out if he was being sincere. He was definitely gonna fire you. 
“I’m not gonna fire you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just kind of…like, you know, wondering,” he began, “the uh… engagement party and the birthday party that you um… you know, that you missed. Were they both because of me?” 
You pursed your lips, nodding, “but it wasn’t your fault, you know. The first one was when you’d passed out… you know, at the office, remember?” 
He nodded, prompting you to continue, “the next one was a keynote session that I had to follow you to.” 
Chris gulped, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden. This whole time he wouldn’t have guessed you’d been giving up these things for him from how willing you’d seemed to work. Was this considered neglecting the needs of my employee? Probably. But whatever it was, Chris knew that he was being harsh on you more for his own sake than yours, but he was only starting to realise now that that might not have been such a good tactic.
Chris was already pulling into the hotel, stopping at the valet services as you’d slung your bag over your shoulder, Chris coming out to open your door for you, making you grimace, feeling as though you should've been the one to open it for him. 
Walking into the hotel lobby, you'd glanced at your phone, seeing as Eujin had texted you tomorrow's plans, "did you get the schedule for tomorrow? I can forward it to you-" 
Chris let a giggle escape him, nodding, "you know they would've sent it to me too, right?" 
Your lips parted in realisation, nodding as you went over to press the lift button before he could even reach over to do so, "right, forgot." 
You were sure it was something about your intoxicated state that was making you instinctively go into work mode, whatever relaxation you thought you would be getting on this weekend now seeming all too far from reach. 
"Uh... I can check what time the hotel serves breakfast and arrange for something to be sent to your room if you want-" 
"Y/N," his tone was enough to make you straighten up, goosebumps rising on your skin for some reason. 
Chris was looking at you in amusement, one hand shoved into his pocket, "you're not working, remember? This is your rest weekend." 
Your eyebrows knit in a frown, chewing on your lip as you averted your gaze, "I know but it's just... like I didn't expect to see you here and now that you are I can't help but feel like I'm at work or something," you'd turned to wonder what was taking the elevator so long, watching as the numbers had gone lower and lower, completely skipping your floor and heading to the carpark. 
"You know what? How about this," he began, pausing momentarily when you heard the elevator ding, stepping inside the empty elevator and pushing your floor button, your heart almost stopping when he hadn't made to press any button. 
"You're on the 14th floor too?" He nodded. 
"Anyway, as I was saying. To make things easier for you, let's just pretend we don't know each other, that i'm not your boss, you're not my secretary. We're just... two people that met at a wedding? You don't have to do anything for me as long as we're here, hmm?" he offered, seeming to sense your hesitance 
"Look, I'll go first," he stretched his hand out as if to ask for a handshake, "hello, nice to meet you, i'm Chan." 
"Chan?" 
He nodded, "my friends call me Chan. People only call me Chris at work." 
You'd brought your hand up slowly, grasping his in yours, the cold metal of his rings against your skin more obvious when he'd given your hand a small squeeze. 
"Nice to meet you, Chan. I'm Y/N?" you tried, looking at him for approval and earning a nod from him, trying your best to ignore the way he was smiling. 
"Yes, that's your name," he laughed. 
Letting go of his hand, you were thankful the elevator had reached your floor without any interruptions, realising just how lucky you were to have not bumped into him earlier on as he'd continued walking with you to your room, gesturing to the door opposite your room with wide eyes. 
"My room's here." 
You made to take out your hotel room key, hearing him clear his throat, and you'd turned around rapidly to face him, strangely eager to know what he was about to say. 
"Say, Y/N, I'd love to, you know, get to know you more. What do you think about getting brunch with me tomorrow?” 
You opened and closed your mouth for lack of a response. This was inappropriate, right? But then again, you weren’t working this weekend. And technically, in this situation, Chan wasn’t your boss. So, there was nothing to lose. 
You nodded, “Yeah. That sounds…nice.” 
=== 
“Sounds kind of suspicious if you asked me,” you heard Seungmin’s voice over the speaker, making you sigh. You were already ready, lounging on your bed as if to mentally prepare yourself for a stupid lunch. 
“Right? I don’t know what he’s trying to get out of this.” 
Seungmin knew. But it’s not as if he was going to tell you, no, that was Chan’s job not his. Frankly, he’d had enough of listening to the both of you whine about your apparent personal vendetta against each other. He watched his fair share of movies, Seungmin knew how these things worked. 
“Maybe it’ll give you a chance to actually talk to each other like normal human beings instead of just bickering all the time for no reason.” 
“I have a reason, I’ll have you know.” 
Seungmin scoffed, “really? Enlighten me, then.”
You’d fumbled for a reason, stuttering in your failure to find something that validated your annoyance towards Chan. 
“I don’t know, his dimples are stupid.” 
Seungmin wanted to laugh, “so you’re telling me, you just can’t stand him because of his stupid dimples?” 
Your attention was diverted when you’d felt your phone vibrate, signalling an incoming text from Chan. 
boss  11:20am -meet u outside your hotel room in 10?- 
“Shit, he wants to meet me in 10 minutes.” 
Seungmin shrugged, “10 minutes is more than enough time for you to come up with a less shitty reason why you don’t like him. Or for you to realise that you don’t actually hate him.” 
You scoffed, burying your face into your sheets as you thought of a reason. 
“Okay, I’ve got it. I just don’t like how he treats everyone so nicely and then treats me like I’m some incompetent kid.” 
“You know for a fact he doesn’t think you’re incompetent. He literally trusts you more than he does the other staff.” 
You scoffed, “yeah, whatever. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s so condescending about it, he thinks of me i’m some kid that doesn’t know anything.” 
Seungmin snorted, remembering the incident where Chan had asked him to tell you to button up your blouse after the directors behaviour during a meeting. 
“Oh, he definitely doesn’t see you as a kid,” Seungmin cackled, earning an eye roll from you.
Glancing at the time, you saw how it was almost 11:30, “okay, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.” 
Ending the call, you’d slung your small bag around your shoulder, giving one last glance at your appearance in the mirror in the bathroom before leaving your hotel room, startling when you’d spotted Chan there. 
Dressed in a black pullover and jeans, Chan smiled at you, bringing a hand up to touch his ear, “morning,” he greeted. 
“Good morning,” you huffed nervously.
He’d already begun walking, making you follow beside him, “did you get a good sleep?” 
His eyebrows raised at your question, nodding at you. His hair was curlier than usual, not styled up like you usually saw. “you?” 
You nodded, following him in silence as you’d gone down the list, realising he’d pressed the ground floor instead of where they were serving food on the 3rd floor. 
“You pressed the wrong floor,” you began, not expecting to see the pleading smile on his face.
“Actually, I was thinking of bringing you to this place nearby, I’ve been there before and it’s pretty good.” 
Your first thought was to wonder if it was expensive, knowing that this time you didn’t have the company card to fall back on. 
“Is it expensive?” You asked, seeing him shrug. 
“Not really.” 
Only when you’d reached the area did you realise how much of an understatement Chan made. The restaurant was a small cozy-looking place that served food that you’d only heard of up till now, located along a line of boutiques selling unusual trinkets and handmade items. 
Upon reaching, you and Chan had been led up upstairs to an outdoor seating area of the restaurant, the view of the scenery accompanied with the breeze instantly putting you in a relaxed mood. 
“Do you like it?” He asked, almost sounding nervous. 
Nodding reassuringly, you’d wanted to run away when you saw the way he’d walked over to where you were, pulling your chair out for you to sit on, making you flush. Never in your life would you have thought your boss would be pulling out your chair for you.
“You know, you don’t have to do that,” you told him, using the menu to hide your face from view, pulling it down slightly to watch how he’d rest his forearm on the table, scanning through the menu with a smirk on his face, his (stupid) dimples appearing on his cheeks. 
“I wanted to. You’d never let me do it for you on any other occasion.” 
You had to admit that there was some truth to what you were saying, choosing to change the subject by telling him you’d decided on what you wanted to eat, choosing something that was still within your budget for the weekend. 
Beckoning the waiter over, Chan pushed his sleeves up to his elbows as he ordered for the both of you, the waiter asking what drinks you would want, a teasing smile on Chan’s face when you’d insisted on water.
“What?” You scoffed, earning a shake of the head from him. 
“Nothing.” 
You’d leant back in your seat, about to tie your hair up into a ponytail, hearing the buzzing of your phone, reading the caller id to see that it was your mom trying to video call you. 
Sitting up quickly, you were about to excuse yourself when Chan had reached over, swiping to answer the call as he lifted the phone, pointing it towards you, his other hand beckoning for you to continue. 
“Hey, mom,” you spoke through gritted teeth, your rubber band between your teeth as you worked quickly to bunch your hair into a ponytail, Chan wanting to slap himself with how his ears had started to feel hot. 
“Hey, honey. Where are you? I called the office but they said you were on leave?” 
You secured your hair, taking the phone from Chan with a grateful murmur of ‘thanks’, making your mother’s eyes narrow, “who are you with?” 
“I’m attending Eujin’s wedding this weekend. I’m just uh…with a friend.” 
Chan looked away to clear his throat, catching your mom’s attention, “guy? I thought you told me you weren’t dating anyone.” 
This had caught Chan’s attention, having remembered Seungmin telling him that you’d broken up with your boyfriend. 
“No, yeah, mom it’s just a friend. Can I call you later?” 
Your mom’s eyebrows lifted, looking at you with a cheeky smile on her face, “oh, oh. Yes, of course you can. Have fun, baby.” 
You hung up quickly, shoving your phone back into your bag, looking up at Chan in question as to why he looked so surprised. 
“Your mom doesn’t know you have a boyfriend?” He asked, as if wanting that confirmation for himself, not feeling comfortable with pursuing his feelings if you were still in a relationship. 
You shook your head, “no uh…I broke up with my boyfriend a long time ago.” 
Chan’s lips pursed, nodding, “oh… sorry.” 
You shook your head, not being able to help a breathy laugh from leaving you, “don’t be. He was…it was for the best.” 
“D’you mind if I ask why? You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to, I’m just kind of…curious.” 
You shrugged, not feeling as inclined to hide the information, since it was in the past now. 
“Nah he just… our schedules always clashed and I was always too tired by the end of the day to go out to find him and I guess it like, you know, sort of reached a point where I started prioritising my work and it didn’t work out.” 
Chan nodded slowly, the waiter coming over to serve you your food, “go ahead, you can start eating first.” 
You shook your head, insisting on waiting for his food to arrive before starting. “But I’m honestly fine now, it’s been more than a year since we broke up.” 
Chan huffed in amusement, “is that why you said you can’t stand dating workaholics?” 
Your giggles bubbled out of you, “honestly, I only said that to spite you. I’d much rather date someone that understands my schedule and reaches a compromise with me instead of just always expecting me to drop everything at their beck and call.” 
Chan nodded, “I get that. Yeah, work is important and all but… I feel like if you really loved someone you’d find any moment you could to be with them. Well, for me at least.” 
You laughed, “kind of hard, when we spend almost every waking moment with each other.” 
You’d looked up from your food when Chan hadn’t responded, the waiter finally coming over to serve his food, though his expression remained, looking at you as though he’d wanted to say something. 
“yeah,” he huffed eventually, starting to eat his food. 
You’d shocked yourself with how comfortable you were in his presence with the knowledge that you weren’t working. This was what you wanted, wasn’t it? To have Chris treat you nicely like how he did the other employees. Only now you were realising how easy it was to catch feelings for him just from this one change. 
Maybe you were kind of thankful he made it easier for you to hate him previously. 
It was true that you understood him better than most, and that he understood you as well, knowing what got on your nerves and what didn’t, how you worked and how you responded to things. Albeit there were a few things he still didn’t understand, you couldn’t deny that Chan was well-liked in the office for a reason, and you were beginning to experience that reason for yourself. 
Chris had been mulling over what his mother had told him about you, wondering if you were feeling the same tension that he was even as you talked about pointless things that made you wonder why you hadn’t talked about them sooner. 
Not that it was a bad kind of tension (or maybe it was), but it was akin to the feeling of knowing that you would both have to confront a realisation soon. 
“Are you doing anything tonight?” He asked as you were heading back to the car, earning a shrug from you. 
“My friends wanted to have some kind of girls night thing, you?” 
He sighed, nodding, “same, the guys and I are going out for drinks.” 
You shot him a look, “drinks?” 
He laughed, shaking his head, “I can hold my alcohol, I just choose not to drink.” 
Your eyes widened, “and I’m only finding this out now because? Do you remember when I had to drink your drinks for you during the first networking session because you lied to me and told me you couldn’t drink that!”
Chan flushed, “I wasn’t lying, technically. I really couldn’t drink that, I don’t like white wine.” 
You shot him a harmless glare, this time, letting him open the door for you as you got into the passenger’s seat. 
“Don’t drink too much tonight, yeah?” He gave you an amused huff as he started the engine of the car. 
“You too,” you held your pinky out for him to make a promise. 
Chan nodded, linking his pinky with yours as he leaned closer to you, “deal.” 
=== 
You’d heard the sound of beeping at your door that night, wondering what all the ruckus was all about, getting out of bed, taking your hotel room key and pausing the show you were watching on your phone, making your way over to your door carefully. 
“Why isn’t the card working?” You heard a tell-tale Australian accent muffled through the door, looking through the peephole to see a head of messy brown hair, looking as though Chan was leaning against the door. 
Opening the door slowly, you’d acted quickly to grab Chan by the shoulders to steady him before he could stumble forward, the confused boy holding up his hotel key and looking at you in confusion. 
“This isn’t my room?” 
You couldn’t help but laugh, turning him around as you’d ushered him a few steps forward to his hotel room door, “this,” you pointed at the door, “is your room, Chan.” 
He giggled, “you called me ‘Chan’.” 
Taking his hand, you scanned his hotel key, bringing him into his room, finding it awfully neat (unlike yours), smoothly guiding him to his bed and letting him flop onto it. 
Letting out a sigh, you couldn’t help but to feel rather endeared, seeing him open his eyes slowly to look at you, tilting his head. 
“Sorry, I promised I wouldn’t drink so much.” 
You shook your head, reaching over him to grab at his blanket, your movements ceasing abruptly when you’d felt his hand on your back as you hovered over him, his hand moving from your back to your head, patting it gently. 
Pulling the blanket up harshly in your panic to cover him, straightening up as quickly as you could. 
“Shut up, go to sleep. Goodnight,” you said, hurriedly exiting the hotel room and going back to your room, closing the door behind you and trying to calm your rapid heartbeat. 
The next time you’d seen him was at the hotel lobby, where you’d agreed to meet him so you could head to the wedding venue together. Chan had come down wearing a nice suit, something you were more used to seeing him in, his hair styled up in a familiar manner. 
Greeting each other, you’d both decided to pretend the night before hadn’t occurred. With you being one of the bridesmaids and Chan being one of the groomsmen, you were separated almost immediately upon reaching the venue, with him having to help his friend while you helped Eujin. 
“A little birdie told me you came together with Chan,” she sing-songed. 
You scoffed, “aren’t brides usually supposed to be freaking out by now?” 
“Don’t change the topic! So, did you guys hang out yesterday?” 
You shrugged, “yeah, I guess we did.” 
She narrowed her eyes at you, “so? Is there a verdict?” 
You went behind her to take her bouquet, handing it to her as you waved her off in dismissal. 
“Too early to tell,” you lied. 
“Stop avoiding the question! Or else I’ll just have to ask Chan myself,” she huffed sulkily, making your eyes widen. 
“No, don’t do that! Okay, fine. It’s good. He’s nice.” 
Even Eujin’s makeup artist was giving you a knowing look now, making you cower under their gaze. 
“Shut up, focus on your wedding, please.” 
You wished you could’ve done some focusing for yourself, with Chan’s friends nudging him when you’d gone to the back of the church to line up with the groomsmen, all of them seeming to have conspired to let you walk with Chan. 
“Why do you look more nervous than the bride?” He teased, holding his arm out for you to take, making you roll your eyes, bringing your hand up to grasp his arm. 
“You’re delusional.” 
Okay, maybe he wasn’t. You wished you could’ve taken your advice, having been distracted throughout almost the entire ceremony, your gaze constantly flickering over to Chan, and you were sure he’d noticed too, with the way he would smirk and avert his gaze to the floor in his attempt to stop himself from laughing. 
Shouldn’t he be the one that was nervous? He was the one that had shown up drunk at your hotel room. 
After the ceremony had ended and you were all done taking photos with the bride and groom, Chan had offered you a ride to the reception venue, and you’d accepted, not knowing that you would’ve had to squeeze in a car full of his friends too. 
Sitting at the passenger’s seat (thankfully), you’d prayed for the ride to be shorter as his friends had started to question you and Chan. 
“Is there something going on with you two?” 
“None of your business,” Chan sing-songed, only serving to spur his friends on even more, your eyes widening when you’d heard one of his friends murmur.
“Wait, but didn’t he say he had a thing for his secretary?” 
Your hand went up to cover your mouth as discreetly as you could, clutching the bag of your wedding gift for Eujin and her husband and looking out of the window in your attempt to keep your composure. 
Chan had seemed to share your sentiments, his eyes widening as he panicked behind the steering wheel, his mind racing with things he could possibly do to prevent you from hearing what his friends were so freely spouting.
“Oh, did he? Then there can’t be anything going on with her, right?” 
Chan had reached over to turn the volume of the music up, much to your fortune, not knowing if you would’ve been able to handle hearing them talk more about Chan’s love life. 
Eujin wasn’t kidding when she said that she’d make you and Chan sit next to each other, and you’d ended up at a table with Chan nearer to the front, with a few of your friends and their partners. Watching Eujin and her husband enter the hall, you’d been filled with excitement at how happy she had looked, clapping and cheering for them along with the rest of the guests. 
Once they were seated, Eujin and her husband had begun to make their own speeches, thanking the respective groups of people for coming, and you didn’t miss her pointed mention of how she hoped the guests would use this time to get to know each other as well. 
The way Eujin had done things was that dinner was served so that the guests could listen to the speeches and enjoy their meals at the same time, which you didn’t mind since you were absolutely starving. 
You didn’t miss the way Chan had been subtly looking out for you during the dinner, like how he would casually ask if you needed anything whenever he would get up to go to the bar, or how he’d brushed your hair behind your ear so it wouldn’t get into your food (not without a tut of his tongue), earning many surprised looks from your friends which he was oblivious to. 
You figured he was really making use of the ‘let’s pretend we don’t know each other’ thing as an excuse to be nice to you, not that you were complaining.  
You glanced at your phone, skimming over the texts that one of the intern secretaries had sent you to ask you for help, making your friend curious. 
“Is that your boss?” 
You shook your head, “nah it’s just one of the interns asking me for help with something,” you shrugged, setting your utensils down as you swiped into your email app, ready to clarify the problem for her, making Chan furrow his eyebrows in annoyance. 
Reaching over, he’d taken your phone from you, locking it and dropping it back into your bag, ignoring your look of confusion. 
“Hey, I was just gonna email her!” 
“They’re not supposed to be asking you to do things for them while you’re on leave. No working, this is your rest weekend.” 
You’d shut your mouth at that, deciding that it wouldn’t do you any well to go against him, wanting to pull your phone out to just read the emails but dropping your phone back when you saw the look he gave you daring you to continue. 
Your friend had seemed to be fairly amused by your exchange, shooting a look at Chan, “wow, now I’m really glad you’re here. You’re the only one so far that’s managed to stop her from checking on her work when she’s supposed to be resting.” 
You scoffed. Yeah, because the source of your work was sitting right next to you in a stupid suit. 
“Good to know,” he gave you a knowing smile, making you direct your attention back the waiters, seeing that they were serving desserts now. 
“Your friends make me sound like i’m a hard-ass,” he leaned closer to you to murmur, making you smile, nodding. 
“Well, they’re not entirely wrong,” you drawled, making Chan scoff, though not being able to help the laugh from leaving him. 
He nodded slowly, his expression looking fairly amused, “I’ll keep that in mind.” 
You wondered just for a moment if he was only being nice to you for the sake of his own conscience (though Seungmin would beg to differ). And by the late afternoon, you were already starting to feel drowsy from the afternoon weather, the skies darkening as though it were about to rain. Chan had figured it would be good to start heading back. 
After you’d bid goodbye to Eujin, who seemed more than eager for you to leave together with Chan, Chan had offered to drive a few of his friends back to the hotel together with you, and thankfully this time they hadn’t mentioned anything about his love life. 
“Tired?” Chan huffed with a smile, glancing at you momentarily before fixing his gaze back on the road. 
“Yeah,” you murmured, yawning. 
“You should get some sleep when you get back to the hotel.” 
You nodded, “you too.” 
Chan nodded patronisingly, earning a huff from you, too tired to bicker with him. something in him stirring at how he could’ve been acting like this with you a lot earlier if he wasn’t always masking his concern with rude phrasing. 
His mom sure was gonna be excited the next time he updates her. 
=== 
You hadn’t gotten as much of a rejuvenating sleep as you would’ve liked, reality having kicked in that you were back to work tomorrow, the feeling lingering unsettlingly in your chest as you tried to make the most of the rest of your night. Somehow, you’d found your way to the lounge in the hotel, though that didn’t help much in lessening your dread for tomorrow seeing as the only other people here were people working on their laptops.
You figured it was not so much of dreading work than dreading Chan’s change in personality once he went back to being your boss. 
Letting your head rest on the stiff cushion of the chair you were sitting on, you’d fiddled with your phone, texting Seungmin about what had happened today. 
You’d almost startled in your seat when you saw someone take a seat next to you, turning to see Chan, his tie long gone as his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, his hair already falling out of place as he simply looked at you. 
Raising your eyebrows in a silent question as to ask why he was here, he scoffed, looking away from you but failing to hide the reddening of his ears, “shut up, I just didn’t feel like sitting with a stranger.” 
You huffed in amusement, “did you take a nap?” 
Chan shook his head, “nah, just finished a conference call.” 
Your eyes widened, “wait, why didn’t you tell me? I was doing nothing this whole time—“ 
Chan shook his head in dismissal, “you were tired. I told you, this is your rest time, I’m not allowed to touch it.” 
You frowned, your mind racing with thoughts on how tomorrow could possibly go, looking at the carpet with a hint of a pout on your face, “yeah, and then tomorrow, everything goes back to normal.” 
Chan inhaled deeply, leaning back in his seat as he turned his head to look at you, his hands clasped and resting on his lap. 
“It doesn’t have to, you know… like…” he shrugged, “if you don’t want it to.” 
Your lips parted, unsure how to respond to the implications of his words, unsure how to even process his words. 
“It’d be… unprofessional for me to continue to act like… this towards my boss.” 
Chan raised an eyebrow at you, shrugging, looking at you with an unreadable expression. 
“I think I’m way past being professional already when it comes to you.” 
You’d sworn the air had felt thicker, something about the way the night mood had felt, or how the music in the lounge had succeeded in relaxing you, but something inside of you was telling you to just do it, to lean forward and kiss him. And probably promptly resign the next day out of embarrassment. 
You stood up quickly, “oh, I think my cab’s here, I have to go,” you lied blatantly, Chan not making any move to stop you, simply lifting a hand to wave you off with a tired smile on his face. 
“Go, go. See you at work tomorrow.” 
===
“Can’t we ask Y/N to ask him?” The secretaries and interns were currently huddled in the pantry, having gathered to discuss how great it would be to have a field day soon.
“But Y/N’s equally as scary as him!” One of the interns spoke up, making the secretaries hum thoughtfully. 
You’d stepped into the pantry, walking through the secretaries to retrieve a juice packet for Chan. 
“Hey, what’s up?” You asked, one of the secretaries turning to you with a resolute look on her face. 
“Y/N, do you think you could um… like, you know, ask President Bang if we could arrange for a team outing soon? Like a field day or something, just as a break for the staff. We haven’t had one in so long!” 
You tilted your head at them in amusement, “why don’t you guys just ask him? He’s in his office now, I can go tell him you guys wan—“ 
“No, no! It’s different, you’re the only one that can convince him. We tried last month but he’d just told us he’d think about it.” 
You shrugged, nodding, “alright, sure. I’ll go and ask him.” 
Making your way back to his office, you’d tried to ignore your nerves as you knocked on the door, opening it to reveal Chan who was on the phone, holding up a finger to you to signal you to wait. 
Walking over to him, you’d placed the juice packet on his desk in front of him, earning a smile and a grateful nod from him, before he’d switched back to a serious expression. 
“No, yes, of course. We would want nothing more than to ensure a… mutually beneficial agreement between our companies.” 
You didn’t have to ask to know who he was talking to. Chan had been trying to negotiate a deal with one of the shareholders, since they had been trying to propose to get Chan to merge with another prominent electronics company in the industry. 
You knew Chan was more than annoyed, but he had no choice but to be civil with the president of the company since they did have many shares in the company from the time his uncle was in charge. 
“Yes, we can discuss this more in person over lunch, how does that sound? Yep. Alright, bye.” Chan sighed, setting the phone down and leaning his palms on the table, supporting himself with a pained look on his face, looking up at you with a pout. 
“I really don’t like him.” 
Chan sighed, “same here.” 
“Anyway, I’m glad you came here, I kind of wanted to talk to you about something.” 
“What?” You asked, watching as he’d fiddled with the papers on his desk. 
“Uh… I won’t ask you to handle things outside of work for me anymore.” 
Your eyes widened, “is this because of what my friends said? Because I’m honestly fine it doesn’t matter,” you shook your head, seeing him scrunch his nose. 
“It may not matter to you but I’m personally not fine with it,” he pressed his lips together. “Really, I mean it. Whatever I ask you to help me with from here on is only gonna be work-related.” 
You nodded. Was he trying to distance himself from me? Was it because of the trip? 
Your lips pulled into a frown, nodding more to yourself than to him, “okay…uh anyway I wanted to ask you um… the secretaries were wondering if we could have like a field day or something soon? Like just as a small break for the staff?” 
Chan shot you a look, knowing they’d asked you to ask him. 
“Do you want that?” He asked, earning a nod from you. 
“Yeah, I guess. It’d be fun to just have a day for staff bonding and all…” 
Chan shrugged, “alright, tell them to go ahead and arrange it.” 
Your eyes widened, finding the exchange to have went a lot more smoother than expected. 
“Will you be needing me for anything else?” 
He looked at you as if in thought, taking his lower lip between his teeth and letting it go, shaking his head, “other than to help me book an appointment with President Kim, nothing else.” 
You nodded slowly, exiting the room. 
By only asking you for work-related things, you’d expected your work-load to decrease, but it seemed as though you were currently having the most uneventful day you’d ever had. Other than drafting proposals for the President of the electronics company, there wasn’t much on your plate. 
You’d figured you would’ve been a lot busier tending to Chan’s requests but the boy had barely come out of his office, the only times he did being to head to the washroom, barely casting a glance in your direction when he walked past you. 
As if that wasn’t strange enough, he’d even let you have a longer lunch break, much to Seungmin’s amusement. 
“Doesn’t being in the legal team sound a lot more enticing now? At least you’d be doing something there.” 
You rolled your eyes, “I still have quite a bit of research to do, so no thank you.” 
“Admit it, you’re only staying because you can’t bear to leave Chan.” 
You’d almost choked on your drink, patting your chest to regain your composure, “where the hell did you get that idea from?” 
Seungmin scoffed, “you act like you didn’t call me a thousand times during the trip to tell me about things he did.” 
You’d fallen silent at that, averting your gaze. 
“Whatever,” you scoffed. 
“Isn’t it misconduct, though? If I were to date him.” 
Seungmin shook his head with an amused snort leaving him, “what are we in, the stone ages? Go wild, literally nobody cares. They’ll probably be happy if you manage to get him to be less of a hard-ass,” Seungmin told you, glancing into his cup to see how much drink he had left, “god knows when was the last time he got laid.” 
You flushed, shoving Seungmin, “how can you say that?” 
“What? It’s true!” 
You gave him a dismayed glare, standing up with a sigh as you straightened out your skirt, glancing at the time on your phone. 
“I should probably be heading back now, I’ve got work to do,” you gave Seungmin a pointed look, pulling him up from the bench. 
“I don’t wanna go back to work,” Seungmin let out a loud strangled sound of protest, his shoes stomping on the wooden panelled floor of the rooftop. 
You giggled, a teasing smile on your face, “weren’t you the one saying the legal team was what again? Enticing?” 
Seungmin pouted, pressing the elevator button, abruptly flailing his limbs in a mini outburst before straightening up and composing himself. 
“Fine, I’m fine. Enjoy your stupid office romance with Chan.” 
You rolled your eyes. 
Chan had a consultation with the legal team later that afternoon regarding the issue with the shareholder, and you’d been all-too-distracted during the meeting as you thought about what your possible ‘action-plan’ regarding your situation with Chan was. 
Taking down notes during the meeting, you’d let your train of thought wander, almost doodling onto your notebook, with one hand supporting your head on the table before you heard the legal advisor from the shareholder’s side speak up, a guttural groan leaving him. 
Looking up with an annoyed furrow of your eyebrows, you heard him lean back in his chair, “what does a man need to do to get a drink around here?” 
“You,” the man pointed a finger at you, “go and make yourself useful, sweetheart. Get me a cup of coffee.” 
Chan’s eyebrows knit into a frown, looking at the legal consultant with clear disdain on his face, looking at you to gauge your reaction. Already expecting you to do what you always did, get up with a smile and come back with the man’s coffee, Chan figured he was too annoyed by it to let you do just that. 
About to speak up to the man, you'd shocked Chan when you narrowed your eyes at him, giving him a sweet smile, "sorry, that's not my job here. Since you're not contributing much to the discussion, why don't you make your legs useful and head right over there and get yourself some water." 
You huffed, staring him down as he glared at you, directing his gaze to Chan. "Are you just gonna let her talk to me like that? I'd fire such a rude brat if I were you. Who's your supervisor, I'm gonna make sure he hears of this." 
Chan did his best to conceal his smile, simply turning his chair ever so slightly to give you a small smile, "that would be me, and I heard it loud and clear. Now, shall we continue with the meeting?" 
=== 
You’d been spending hours at your desk, distractedly doing research as you’d kept trying to peep into Chan’s office to figure out what he was doing, to no avail. (Chan had put the blinds down halfway through the day since he couldn’t stop staring outside at your desk either). 
You were technically done with your work, and Chan did mention that you were free to go home once you were done. On any other occasion this would have been considered a miracle, and you wouldn’t have hesitated to go home. But now, there was a nagging feeling in your heart that you couldn’t just leave him here, especially with how stressed out he was because of the business with the shareholder. You didn’t trust him not to spend the whole night here. 
Glancing at the time, you saw that it was already past 10, deciding that you would give him some time to make an appearance before you left, just to make sure he was alive and breathing inside his office. 
Distracting yourself with replying emails, even playing more than a few rounds of a word-search game on your phone, you figured he would’ve come out by now, but there was still not a sound coming from inside the room. 
Once the clock had almost struck 11, you figured you’d might as well go in and check on him for yourself. Going over to the pantry to make a hot drink, you’d walked back to his office, your grip tight on the saucer in your anxiousness. 
Inhaling deeply and breathing out with a resolute nod, you knocked on the door of his office, waiting a while only to be met with silence. 
Pushing open the door slightly, you’d tried again. 
“Mr Bang, is it okay if I come in?”
Upon receiving no response yet again, you’d pushed open the door fully, your eyes widening in realisation when you saw him seated at his desk, fast asleep on the chair. 
Walking over to the leather sofa as quietly as you could, you’d picked up the blanket from the sofa, making your way over to where he was, setting the hot drink onto his desk and making to drape the blanket over him. 
Only when you were adjusting the blanket did he stir awake, making your fight-or-flight instincts kick in, strangely embarrassed if he were to catch you doing such a gesture for him. 
Blinking slowly, his eyebrows furrowed before his gaze had landed on you. 
“I thought you’d gone home already?” He pouted, making you fumble to find an excuse why you’d stayed behind. 
“Sorry, Mr Bang, I was—”
He gave you a lazy smile, shaking his head, “none of that ‘Mr Bang’, nonsense. How come you haven’t left yet?” 
You pressed your lips together firmly, pulling your hands away from the blanket as you tried to straighten up, sighing softly. 
“I couldn’t leave… for some reason. I kind of wanted to make sure you were okay, since I barely saw you the whole day.” 
Chan’s satisfied smile had grew, nodding at you as if prompting you to continue. 
“but I’ll go soon. I guess,” you blurted, “unless like you know, you need me for something, then I’m fine with staying.” You stopped yourself, nodding before you could embarrass yourself any further. 
You couldn’t help but let your breath hitch when he’d reached out to grab your hand. 
“Thank you, for checking up on me,” he murmured, his close proximity making your gaze dart to his lips, averting your gaze quickly. 
“Did you not come out of your office on purpose?” You narrowed your eyes at him, hating the way your heart was doing flips at the way he grinned, his dimples showing cutely. 
You were about to pull back out of your own internal panic, but Chan’s grip on your hand was firm. 
“I’m sorry, I know I said I wouldn’t ask you for anything that wasn’t work related from now on. But It’s killing me, because you were sitting outside the whole day and I couldn’t do anything about it…” he paused, tilting his head as he searched your expression. 
“You can refuse, but I just need you to do one little thing for me,” he murmured,  pulling you forward so you’d ended up seated on his lap, your arms going out to grasp his shoulders to steady yourself. 
“What do you need me to do?” You asked, your voice a mere murmur with how the tension was absolutely suffocating you, wanting nothing more than to just close the gap between the both of you. 
Chan’s hand went up to your chin, running his thumb over your lower lip as they unconsciously parted, “close your eyes.” 
Chan couldn’t help but smirk at the way you’d done so obediently, his hand going to where your neck met your jaw, leaning closer to press his lips against yours. 
Almost as if it was second nature, he’d let his other hand grasp your hip, his thumb rubbing the area soothingly. Tilting his head to kiss you deeper, you’d practically sighed into the kiss, your hands wrapping around his neck loosely as you felt him smile into the kiss. 
“I’m glad it’s you,” he murmured against your lips, his tongue swiping against your lower lip making you let out a surprised hum, not being able to help your smile as well. 
“We should stop,” you pulled away, breathless. 
“Why?” 
You shook your head, “I could kiss you for hours. It’s already so close to midnight.” 
Chan glanced at the clock apathetically, looking at you and shrugging, his hand running up and down your side. 
“So be it, then,” he said, pulling you back to meet his lips. 
===
“Is it just me, or has President Bang been a lot less moody these days,” Seungmin heard one of his colleagues in the legal team asking her desk-mate, making her colleague nod gravely. 
The mention of President Bang had him glancing towards his office, spotting your desk empty and figuring you were inside his office. 
“Definitely. At first I thought it was just me, but he’s been a lot less harsh to Y/N as well,” she agreed. 
“Don’t you think so, Seungmin?” 
And almost as if on cue, you’d exited his office, pulling your hair out of your ponytail to readjust it, looking around as if scanning the area to see if anyone had seen you. 
Locking eyes with Seungmin, you shot him a wink, straightening out your blouse as you’d gone back to sit down at your desk. 
Seungmin scoffed, not being able to help the smile on his face as he rolled his eyes, “yeah, I think I know why.” 
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faithinthefuture28 · 5 years
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Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship
**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”
I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:
2013
L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker). 
H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily
H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song. 
L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy.  I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).
L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes
L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex
2014
L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back). 
L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones
L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs
L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)
H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and  response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)
H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean). 
2015
H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about). 
L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)
H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do). 
L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********
H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives. 
H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together. 
L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home. 
 2016-2017
H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you. 
H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door,  hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****
H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad
H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me 
L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).
H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)
L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it
L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u
2018-2019
L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H 
L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER 
L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy 
L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now
L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of
L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********
H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******
H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it
H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******
H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person? 
H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)
H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28 
H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her
H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)
H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”. 
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ahwait-no-yes · 4 years
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so basically my friend told me today about her dream she had that involved a demon and of course my mind went “...SAIOU AU”
here’s our convo so it makes sense:
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if I had the motivation i would DEFINITELY write a fic about this- the fluff/crack/angst potential is t h e r e
and as a bonus doodle,
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story is under the cut (it’s long)
“I was gonna keep this in tags but hsdf;j” is what I originally wrote here until I started thinking about this more and sorta wrote the whole plot-
-> as ouma’s killing the other monster things he flirts with shuuichi while the poor demon has never been flirted with so he’s stood there all confused and ??? (his version of blushing would be like, the fire coming from his small horns gets bigger and brighter)
-> the one he summons ends up being like. kaede and they both just end up having to lecture shuuichi on why it is that he should not want to die so easily
-> eventually kokichi and kaede wanna give him a hug so they try to but shuuichi’s Extra Hot™ (from being a demon and also probably blushing) so they both immediately regret that choice but kokichi laughs and gives an obligatory pun about shuuichi being hot which only confuses him because ‘of course im hot?? im a demon??’ while kaede explains what ouma meant
-> imagine shuuichi crying (fire tears..) at the generosity of these two strangers who a) aren’t absolutely terrified of him, b) refuse to hurt him and c) actually *want* to help him and ouma actually inwardly understanding a little bc he’d never imagine someone actually wanting to be with himself either
-> saihara now wanting to know what it’s like to live as a human with ouma and akamatsu but being unable to find a way (except for maybe being undercover?) but promising he’ll bring ouma back to him (he’s aware of the whole aging phenomenon in the lil demon world so he wants to keep their time short) and ouma finding that now he has something to look forward to
-> the 👏 mutual 👏 pining 👏 that commences after they both have to leave each other (if kaede knows kokichi in the real world she’d definitely tease him a little knowing he has a crush- this is probably good potential for building oumaede friendship)
-> it takes a while before ouma and saihara can see eachother again because getting the two to escape without killing saihara exerted a lot of energy on him, but they do get to! about once a month to be safe, and they get to know stuff about eachother like which shops ouma likes to steal from and shuuichi’s really loud demon friend he once had (aka momota)
-> one day though saihara tells ouma that if he keeps doing this he’ll die of exhaustion (it takes a lot of energy from saihara to get ouma in and out of there) and ouma calling him an idiot but really being worried. saihara tells him not to worry about him even if something happens to him, and makes ouma go back to the real world
-> ouma doesn’t hear from him after that
-> he worries he might have been killed or saihara forgot about him and feels stupid for being so hopeful in something so childishly impossible and starts trying to forget about him
-> the real world is aware of demons cause people talk about them (and obvs you can tell when someone’s gone to their.. dimension thing because you can visibly see them age) so still denying that he’s curious and likes saihara still, ouma tries to go to libraries and do his own research on demons and ends up finding out that saihara specifically comes from a bloodline that makes him quite powerful if not for that he wouldnt want to take the risks that come with it and then lowkey gets excited again for saihara while still in ✨denial ✨
-> it’s been almost a year when saihara has enough energy (and more) to ensure that his new plan is successfully carried out and that ouma (and potentially 1 more..) gets back to the real world safely. he created this plan when he figured out how to exist in the real world- by sacrificing the thing he cares most about
-> so when ouma suddenly gets that off-feeling people get when they’re leaving the real world he feels very many emotions at once (giddily going ”ohh my god its not this it cant be this no way oh heck tthisis not happening not a chance”) until he sees the face he’s been waiting 4 months for again except this time it looks.. frighteningly cold
-> ouma’s instincts are screaming at him that something is very, very wrong here especially when he can’t hear any warmth when saihara says “Welcome back, Ouma. It’s your final time” and explains the whole ‘kill these monsters then kill me’ thing again
-> ouma’s confusion inevitably turns to annoyance as he kills the dudes (there appears to be a lot more than there was last time) and fires questions at saihara (‘is this saihara?’ ‘what happened to you??’ ‘do you even remember me?’) while saihara stays silent for the whole time thinking about how he really doesn’t want to be doing this. 
-> eventually ouma decides he was wrong (again) to have put his faith in a guy- a demon- he only met once a month.. even if said demon gave him something to look forward to
-> when he finally gets to saihara alone he internally notes that saihara cant look him in the eye, but he finally speaks to tell ouma that now either himself or ouma will now die (saihara knows this is for sake of the sacrifice, but he can’t let ouma know else it won’t work)
-> ouma refuses to fight him again, expecting saihara to snap back into the meek demon from a year and some months ago, but rather than that happening saihara actually says something like “if you won’t kill me, I’ll have to kill you” and swings at him
-> even if ouma was on his full guard, he still would’ve been surprised by how strong saihara actually could be when he tried to fight- and of course saihara can’t stop now that he’s started but ouma hears the hesitation when saihara asks “are you going to kill me yet?” and gets annoyed that the whole time he spent with him and even akamatsu meant nothing. saihara smiles sadly knowing he’s achieving his goal but ouma thinks he’s smiling at the thought of dying and gets somehow even more annoyed
-> during their whole fight, insert “I’m alone, Ouma, and I will always be” line from saihara, “No amount of talking can convince me otherwise, Ouma. I’m sorry it took so long, but it was foolish of you to trust a demon you met only once” or something and yes it hurts saihara too but ouma’s staying silent and before saihara can continue, ouma fires back with “You’re right- you are meant to be alone. You were always meant to be that kind of guy” and stops dodging to start finally attacking- this is when saihara knows he’s pretty much achieved his target: sacrificing ouma’s trust in him
-> just as ouma swipes at him, saihara’s lil spell thing is activated that takes saihara back to the real world, disguised so people don’t see him as a demon. but now ouma thinks he’s just killed saihara (I just attacked him. and he is gone. i dont know what that light was but i must have just killed him. oh my god im a murderer.”)
-> saihara hiding in the forest to do the lil spell thing again but on ouma (all the time he spent saving on energy was worth it) so ouma gets transported to the real world too and immediately runs to tell akamatsu everything that happened
-> saihara trying to find to blend in with humans from what he remembers of how they act but he doesnt need to particularly eat he just needs a heck ton of sleep so he basically just lives in the forest now. he’s very sensitive to water so he actively stays away from it too (it wont kill him but it does make him sick). he’s still feverishly warm but not scalding and he also decides to work at a store to fit in more
-> ouma regretting what he did to saihara even though saihara hurt him first and realising he misses him
-> saihara ends up accidentally bumping into him at the store he works at that ouma conveniently steals from a lot (”Ouma, you’d make a good demon” “Nishishi! What do you mean? I’m a perfect little angel!”) and saihara gasping when he notices ouma’s unforgettable purple hair and cute smile.
-> ouma finding something familiar about this awkward new staff with the cute face and deciding he’ll visit the shop more often to see this stranger and not because said stranger might help him get over his demon crush
-> then they get to know eachother again for the 2nd time, and as much as this guy is really cute, he clearly knows more than he’s letting on... so of course ouma’s gotta now pay even more attention to him. just so he knows what the guy’s hiding. not cause he wants to know him.
-> one day saihara is sick from trying to protect himself from the rain (cause yk, water bad) so he stays in the forest instead of coming in to focus his energy on getting better and also not blowing his cover. ouma notices he isnt there on that day and asks other staff members where he lives and they’re all like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 
-> it rains quite a bit after that, inevitably making saihara even more sick and in turn needing time away to himself, so ouma starts getting worried when saihara stops coming to work
-> saihara really wants to see him though, so one day he tries to drag himself to work in a terrible state where he’s actually almost cold for once and collapses after trying to run to ouma. ouma sees him and tells his manager he cant work nd takes him home himself where saihara wakes up confused
-> ouma lecturing saihara because he worried him and the way he fell reminded him of.. someone (demon shuu).. then he asks vague questions to saihara about if he’s ever met a demon and half-confesses to having met one himself multiple times and ending up falling in love and then probably killing them
-> saihara, in his tired state, tells him his story of how he was raised to believe he had no purpose other than to meet someone who would kill him, eventually finding that person but instead of looking at him with fear or anger he looked at him with admiration and playfulness, how the guy meant to kill him refused to and flirted w him instead. ouma has probably clicked on by this point but saihara continues to tell him he wanted to protect that guy with the power he had so he took time away from his first ‘job’ to find out how to be with him. saihara is probably shaking at this point while he continues telling him about how he found out he had to sacrifice the most important thing to him, so he “went and had a terrible argument with him one day and i ran away. but i’ve never stopped looking for him since, he showed me that even a demon like me can fall in love” (there’s the ✨grand confession ✨)
-> ouma saw it coming from the moment saihara started speaking, but that didnt stop him from being utterly paralysed. of COURSE saihara has to say “When I said you’d make a good demon I really wasn’t lying. Your hand is so warm it could fool even me” which possibly makes ouma completely combust before absolutely bolting out the door and calling akamatsu to tell her to get to his house (”AKAMATSU-CHAN I’M GONNA DIE RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON’T GET HERE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT THIS SECOND”)
-> while waiting for kaede, shuuichi explains that he needs to be Warm™ and immediately holds kokichi’s hold again, while the other’s having a gay panic.. and he doesnt know how to feel because on one hand, his beloved demon is.. right here, in the ‘flesh’, holding his hand, telling him he fell in love with him.. but on the other hand, that doesnt excuse the confusion and hurt he put him through back then, not being able to see him for a whole damn year.. 
-> ouma ignores all the feelings when akamatsu arrives where she’s brought water and blankets (just in case- i feel like shes the kind of friend who would do that) so saihara takes the blankets and ouma takes the water and she calms them both down and gets them to explain everything slowly and in their own time. its awkward esp for ouma who isnt particularly close with her, but they manage it in the end
-> they decide shuuichi literally cant live in the forest so of course now he has to live with ouma but akamatsu offers to help if it ever gets too much for ouma which obviously ouma denies. she leaves soon and its just them but ouma needs some time to himself to clear his head and he only returns late to see saihara asleep clinging onto akamatsu’s blanket with his life lmao so ouma sighs and brings him more. and if he kisses the sleeping demon’s forehead, nobody has to know
-> ofc its still very much awkward and it takes ouma getting used to having even just another presence in his home, let alone his sort-of-unofficial-demon-bf and saihara’s still sleeping a lot of the time but recovering
-> they probably establish their feelings for eachother properly when they’re more mentally prepared for it, and then 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 (they kiss) and are now actually legally boyfriends. i absolutely cannot let this end in angst so they’re happy and love eachother now yay the end
nngl. i talked about this with that same friend and I lowkey want to start writing an actual fic for it now that ive written... literally the entire plot, but if i do that it probably wont be out for a while bc i take 10 years to write lmao-- plus i hardly ever finish what i start so uh yeah.. but hopefully! im not even good at writing fic this is just the plot but yello
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nightshadowhawk · 3 years
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rating ninjago seasons with explanations because i was bored (spoilers obvs)
way of the ninja: 6/10 - i remember watching this ages and ages ago, to me they were just filler episodes to me as i’d watched all the way to rebooted at that point, not super interesting but it started everything so extra points for that
rise of the snakes: 5/10 - YES its old i know but the… the GD attack should have caused more chaos… destroyed more stuff… it only moved a couple cars in this season (which entirely changes in SoG with harumi’s flashbacks) which i thought was … weird, even when i was younger lol… but theres development of characters n all i think a lot of it is rad !
legacy of the green ninja: 6/10 - pretty good, i haven’t watched this in a while so i dont remember much but the end battle is Legendary so there’s extra points for that and also extra points for dareth being introduced hee hee
rebooted: 6/10 - the whole overlord and nindroids thing is … pretty cool ?? pixal and cyrus exist now so !!!! that adds points !!! when i was younger i remember watching zanes sacrifice a lot cuz i couldnt get over it, and now i can recite all the words off by heart … lol anyway i think this seasons ok 👍
tournament of elements: 8/10 - very good, i loved seeing the other elemental masters !!!! and chen is actually a very cool villain, especially when i was younger, i loved him then lol … the ending is kinda 😟 bc garmy technically dies but yea its a gud season C:
possession: 10/10 - this season is EVERYTHING???? the intro SLAPS, the whole aesthetic is incredible and not to mention theres a whole bunch of favourite characters content in this season so that adds extra points !!!! the story all flows smoothly and its just Mmmm so gud. i love it dearly, defo a comfort season i’ve watched it so many times
skybound: 7/10 - i can see why some people hate this season as the whole nadakhan marrying nya thing is VERY weird (even my cousin who was 6 at the time when we first watched it could tell that) … but theres extra points for 1. the whole misfortunes keep crew, i love them, and 2. the ninja replacements team, i also care them all so dearly … the lighting in this season is super good, and also the storyline threads together well, i just find it very Appealing how it goes back to how it started
hands of time: 4/10 - idk man its just … boring, i can’t really be interested enough to watch to the end of the season? extra points for acronix being pretty and the scruff moments tho lol…. also whats with more snake people …. cant be ninjago without snakes ig LMAO
day of the departed: 5/10 - i also just see this as a filler… i mean yes it tells how cole turned back from a ghost but otherwise it’s just kinda random but i still liked it
sons of garmadon: 7/10 - pretty good ! harumi is a very cool character tho i do think shes kinda selfish … like a lot of others probably lost family in the GD attack??? kind of confused … but the SoG group as a whole is VERY epic i love the designs for UV and mr E (killows design just throws me off tho… why Real Hands..)
hunted: 10/10 - SO damn good the storyline is EVERYTHING and i love how it switches POVs every so often to keep things on edge. its also pretty dark for a kids show and that makes it better, and the cinematics for this are all just AMAZING…. i care the dragon designs so much, mmmmmmmmmm beloveds :^)
march of the oni: 6/10 - wasted!!!!! potential!!!!! the oni were such a good show of fantastic character design and they were just….. taken out in like 5 seconds despite them literally being the embodiment of destruction? there was literally two seasons before this of the ninja dealing with one (1) embodiment of destruction and then when theres LOADS that make tentacle death clouds and are super OP they just … are defeated????? ok…… also what was the point in coles fall fr it just made me sad for no reason🙁
secrets of forbidden spinjitzu: 6/10 - the fire chapter was … cool ? i guess, wasn’t the most interesting, aspheera is hot tho lol😝(LITERALLY !!!!! Funny joke pls laugh.)also clutch being introduced adds points, love the stupid explorer man. the ice chapter is super dark, i loved seeing the never-realm and how everything worked there, and ?? evil zane ?!??!? sheeeeeesh that was a bold move that was super epic … i liked this part of the season :^0
prime empire: 10/10 - another comfort season YEAHHHHH !!!! the aesthetic !! so good !!! the characters r RAD like scott and okino and seven I LOVE THEM SO DEARLY ….. the soundtrack is RAD as well i listen to it plentifully …… the ending is happysad and i always go a bit cry when unagami and milton walk away together :’^)
master of the mountain: 8/10 - the whole slavery thing is … questionable but the skull sorcerer’s design is super awesome ! and the upply … i care them … :^)))) AND A COLE SEASON !!!! i loved the development for him !!! and the way that vania and cole stayed a friendship the whole time cuz it never implied they were gonna date or whatever which made me happy honestly … i rated it 8/10 as the extra points are from the upply
the island: shit/10 - what the fuck was that. the islanders were cool i liked their designs but seriously i hated the ending so bad like there was no reason for ronin to be the antagonist again … just let clutch steal the amulet and there you have it all set up for the next season whoooo
seabound: 9/10 - again i love the aesthetic, the glowy-ness of everything is so pretty in this, and the design for wojira is amazing … tho this season is super sad, im sure theres reasoning for the ending of it :)))))) the storyline is also very good in this ! it does actually make sense which sometimes doesnt happen ……...
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