#AND I WON'T FIND OUT JACK SHIT UNTIL I DO

[vampiromano]

there's a very fine line between enjoyment of the gameplay and WANTING TO KNOW

[punkshort]

Roommates | 7. jack and jill

Pairing: pornstar!joel x f!reader

Chapter Summary: You and Joel organize Tommy and Maria's bachelor and bachelorette party together, making it the first time you've spoken to each other since you moved out.

Chapter Warnings: language, discussions revolving mental health and therapy, insecurity issues, anxiety, angst, alcohol and food consumption, idiots in love but won't admit it, cigarette use, one bed couch trope

WC: 6.8K

Series Masterlist

Five Months Later

Everything was fine. Everything was going to be fine. There was no need to be nervous.

Okay, so you were going back to the house for the very first time since you moved out. You didn't count the time last month when you idled in the driveway in your car, waiting to pick Maria up to go to her dress fitting. You avoided it as much as you could, but eventually she asked you to come over to help with wedding planning. She wanted to look over the seating chart and because it was so big and she insisted on making a physical floor plan instead of a digital one, she guilted you into coming to the house.

You didn't have the nerve to ask if Joel would be there, but when you pulled up to the house, your stomach doing cartwheels and threatening to bring up your breakfast, Joel's truck was gone.

Relief and disappointment flooded you all at once.

When you approached the front door, your hand hovered over the doorknob. Should you knock? Do you just walk in? You stood there a minute too long, going back and forth, undecided, until the door swung open with Maria standing on the other side.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know."

She rolled her eyes and opened the door wider. "Don't be weird," she told you as you slid past her into the familiar hall to kick off your sneakers.

Although the house was generally the same, it felt different now.

"Is anyone home?" you asked timidly as you followed her into the kitchen to grab some drinks.

"Tommy's got work," she replied, pulling a bottle of wine from the fridge. You took a deep breath and inwardly groaned. She was really going to make you work for it.

"And... Joel?"

She stopped and looked at you like you were speaking another language. "Have you still not spoken to him?"

You chewed on your lower lip and her shoulders sagged.

"C'mon, you promised us you would work things out before you left."

"We will! I've just been... busy, I guess."

"It's been months. You need to talk to him," she scolded, brushing past you as she headed to the dining room table where her seating chart was all spread out. "We're getting close to the big day and you guys need to plan our Jack and Jill."

You cocked an eyebrow at her and took the glass she extended your way. "Jack and Jill?"

"Yeah, y'know, where the bachelor and bachelorette parties join into one big party?" You must have looked confused because she frowned and popped her hand on her hip. "I mentioned this three months ago."

"I know, I know, I just forgot."

"You need to get your shit together. You're my maid of honor! I need you."

"I will, I promise," you said firmly, taking a sip of wine. "I'll text him tomorrow and I'll set something up so we can start planning."

She eyed you up for a moment before dropping into a chair with a sigh. "Thanks. Sorry, I know this is tough but you guys gotta work things out. You're both too important to us."

"We will. Don't even give it another thought." You sat down across from her and glanced around while she opened up a notebook with her guest list. "So, where is he?"

"Well, if you would have called him in the past five months, you would know he moved out."

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. "When?"

"Like, two months ago, I think."

"Good. That's... good. Good for him."

"He bought a house."

You nearly choked on your wine. "He did?"

She nodded and bit back a grin. "A lot of things have changed. You'd be surprised."

"What's that mean?" you asked with a frown. She just shrugged.

"You'll have to talk to him and find out."

You tossed a piece of popcorn across the table at her and she giggled. "Enough about Joel. Let's get down to business. Like where am I going to put my Aunt Cathie when she refuses to speak to anyone on my side of the family?"

You tapped your chin and looked down at the poster. "Kitchen?"

In hindsight, picking a coffee shop was a bad idea. You were nervous enough as it was, the last thing you needed was extra caffeine. But still you found yourself sitting at a small table by the window twenty minutes before you were supposed to meet Joel, tapping your foot anxiously on the tile floor and turning around every time one of the doors opened.

To kill time, you stared down at your texts from earlier in the week, rereading them over and over, trying to pick up on his energy so you could get an idea of what you were walking into.

Hey

Then, two painful hours later:

Hey

I was hoping we could meet up sometime soon if you're free? Maria not so subtly pointed out we need to plan their Jack and Jill party.

You remembered at the time, the little text bubbles appeared and disappeared over and over, as if he were changing his mind until he finally sent:

Sure. Thursday?

Thursday works. Java Joint on third?

I can swing by after work around 4

Okay - looking forward to it :)

Then... nothing.

Maybe the smiley face was overkill.

You drained the last of your iced latte and got up to throw it in the trash. When you sat back down at your table, a flurry of activity caught your attention through the window. Three girls were bouncing on their heels and giggling into their palms, grabbing each other's shoulders with their phones in their hands as they spoke to none other than Joel fucking Miller. He had his sunglasses on and a white Henley shirt, the material stretching across his broad chest and arms. Paired with the confident smirk on his face, he looked devastatingly good. You watched with a twist of envy in your chest as the girls all took selfies with his arm wrapped around their shoulders before he finally jutted his thumb towards the coffee shop and gave them a final wave, turning on his heel and then heading in your direction. Once his back was turned, the girls collectively lost their shit while looking down at their pictures, but you couldn't pay them any more attention because Joel was about to walk through the door.

Butterflies burst in your stomach when he pushed his sunglasses on top of his head, locking eyes with you, and suddenly it felt like no time had passed at all. Memories of watching movies with your feet tucked under his thigh and making dinners together flashed before your eyes while you forced yourself to give him a shy wave.

He simply nodded in return and motioned towards the counter, indicating he was getting something to drink, and when his gaze finally left yours in favor of reading the menu, you let yourself fully take him in. He looked really fucking good. Something was different but you couldn't put your finger on it. Healthier, maybe? Or maybe he just looked happier now without all the stress you brought into his life.

He must have said something flirty to the barista because she giggled and the tips of her ears turned red and, after he paid, he sauntered down the counter, casually resting his elbow on the hard surface while scrolling his phone.

From the look of it, he was no where near as nervous as you felt, which just made your anxiety spike more.

The barista slid his coffee across the counter with a wide smile and he gave her a wink before turning to weave his way through the tables. You straightened up as he approached and tried to look normal.

"Hi."

He sat down across from you, putting his coffee down with a grunt. "Hey."

Your heart was practically wedged in your throat and your fingers wouldn't stop tapping nervously on the table.

"H-how are things?"

He shrugged and took a sip from his cup. "Alright. Busy."

He was looking everywhere but your eyes. You supposed you deserved that, but it still stung.

"How's work?"

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "We don't gotta do this, y'know."

"Do what?"

"This," he said, waving his finger back and forth between you. "We can be civil for the sake of Tommy and Maria but we don't gotta pretend this is somethin' it ain't."

You tried to hide the hurt from your eyes but he must have clocked it because he pinched the bridge of his nose and made a frustrated sound.

"Don't gimme that look."

"I'm not," you replied defiantly, staring down at your fingers now. "I'm sorry, Joel. For all of it."

"You made that pretty damn clear when you left."

Your eyes snapped up to him as he took another sip from his coffee and looked around the café. Then your gaze fell onto the writing on his cup: a name with a phone number and a little heart and your stomach rolled but you took a deep breath, just like you practiced, and let it go.

"I didn't leave because I regretted it," you whispered. His eyes finally landed on you, patiently waiting for you to speak again. "I left because I couldn't stay away from you."

His eyes softened but he remained quiet, so you took a shaky breath in and continued.

"I needed time to think over what I did and why I did it and what I really want," you nervously began to shred your straw wrapper as you spoke. "And I couldn't do that with you so goddamn close because there's just something about you that drives me fucking crazy."

His lips twitched. "Crazy in what way?"

You sighed and slumped down in your chair. "Crazy as in every time I see you I want to kiss you and laugh with you and tell you about my day and just... be near you."

"Then why the hell didn't you wanna try 'n make it work?"

"Because of your job," you groaned pathetically, knowing full well you sounded like a broken record. "It's not your fault, Joel, it's mine. I have... issues. But I'm working on it. I've started seeing a therapist-"

"What issues?" he pressed.

"Jealousy, insecurity, self-doubt, anxiety... you name it."

He took a deep breath and readjusted in his chair so he was facing you instead of the café. "I didn't know you were goin' through all that. Is it helpin'?" he asked softly, and for the first time you thought you heard the Joel you used to know.

"Yeah, but it's hard," you replied. "It takes a lot of work to change the way you think and react to something. But I'm trying. Really, I am. Because-" you took a deep breath and raked your fingers through your hair. "No one makes me happy the way you made me happy. And I really, really fucking miss you." Tears welled up in your eyes that you quickly blinked away. Crying in the middle of a coffee shop was not on your list of things to do that day.

"What are you tryin' to tell me?" he asked, dropping his head so he could catch your eye. "Hm? Say it."

"I know I blew my chance with you and I don't deserve another one, but can we please try to be friends again?"

His gaze bounced back and forth between your eyes, studying your expression before slowly straightening up in his seat. "Friends?"

You nodded weakly, your lips pressed into a thin line.

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he considered it.

"What'll that look like?"

You frowned and gave him a little shrug. "Joke around. Inquire about each other's lives. Help each other out. Be supportive of one another."

He nodded along as you listed everything off with a confused look on your face, unclear as to why he was asking you to define friendship. "That's it?"

"What do you mean?"

"That's all you want?"

And there it was again: that undeniable pull, that undercurrent of tension bonding you together, making you question every word and every look.

"Yes," you finally answered quietly. It was a lie, of course, but you were too scared to put yourself fully out there. You already felt vulnerable enough with what you confessed and you couldn't stand the rejection if you told him the truth.

He ticked his jaw to the side and you could have sworn in that moment, he saw right through you. But maybe you were wrong, because his next words were -

"Alright, then. Let's be friends."

Your eyes lit up as he pulled out his phone and opened his calendar app.

"Thank you, Joel."

He nodded without looking up. "What weekend were you thinkin' for this party?"

"So you two kissed and made up?"

You scowled at Maria over the aisle at a local florist.

"We did not kiss, thank you."

She grinned and rolled her eyes before picking up a deep pink carnation. "It's a figure of speech, but you never know."

"Things are fine. I mean, they aren't like they were before, I doubt it ever will be, but you have nothing to worry about. We can be in the same room together without anything getting weird. I don't like that one," you added when she picked up a red poppy. She plunked it back down in the bucket and kept browsing.

"Good. And how's the party planning?"

"Really good, we're almost all done. I just need to pick up the shirts and the favors and we should be good to go."

"I can't thank you enough for organizing this for us, I'm so excited! It's gonna be the best weekend ever," she gushed, picking up a few other flowers in similar shades of pink.

"Well, hopefully your actual wedding will be a better weekend, but I appreciate the sentiment," you giggled.

"How are we doing ladies? Do you have any questions?" asked the florist, an older man who was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Maria launched into a laundry list of questions and you grinned before leaning against the register and pulling out your phone. You had to actively stop yourself from opening up your text chain with Joel. In the past, aside from Maria, he was your person. He was the one you always texted silly things to whenever you were bored or lonely. Even though he agreed to be friends again, it had yet to feel the same. In fact, you still hadn't seen him since that day in the coffee shop. You had managed to do all the planning for the Jack and Jill over the phone, but you didn't want to tell Maria that. Something told you she would want you to try harder with him and you were too nervous to stick your neck out there. The shame you harbored for the way everything fell apart after the camping trip was too great.

"You wanna grab lunch?" she asked once she was done going over in excruciating detail the flowers she wanted in each bouquet and centerpiece.

"God, yes."

There was a nearby Mexican place you both loved so you ordered a couple margaritas while you waited for your food.

"Can I ask you a question that I've been dying to know the answer to but wanted to get you loosened up on booze first?"

You quirked an eyebrow at Maria and nodded hesitantly.

"Have you talked to Sam?"

You closed your eyes and groaned.

"Very briefly, only once. About a month after... you know."

She sipped her drink and nodded. "And?"

"It went about as well as you could expect. I tried to apologize but he was so hurt, I think I just made things worse."

"Thank god he got that new job. The timing couldn't have been better," she said, then winced when she saw the look in your face. "I'm sorry, I just meant at least you didn't have to worry about work being a factor. You had enough going on as it was."

"I know what you meant, it's okay," you assured her.

Maria stirred her drink with her straw for a moment, the two of you falling into a comfortable silence while you listened to Latin music over the speakers and blankly watched some soccer match that was muted on the TV over the bar.

"Can I ask you another messy question?" she finally asked. You grinned and shrugged.

"Go for it."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

You swallowed the lump in your throat and dropped your gaze to the table. "What was I gonna say? 'Oh, by the way, I'm fucking your boyfriend's brother behind my boyfriend's back?' You would have slapped me."

She laughed and leaned back in her seat to make room for the sizzling fajitas that got placed down in front of you both. She eagerly picked one up and began to pour salsa and sour cream on top before she spoke again.

"I don't think I would have slapped you, but I definitely would have made you to dump Sam and get with Joel."

"Yeah, that's not something I would have wanted to hear," you told her with a laugh.

"So," she said, wiping some sour cream from the corner of her mouth, "you didn't wanna date him because of his job, but fucking him was okay?"

You paused your chewing and gave her a blank stare. "What happened didn't make a ton of sense, but I can tell you this much: I was in deep denial over what was happening with Joel. I told myself it was just a friends with benefits thing and it didn't mean anything, but there's just something about him that I can't describe. Like we have some connection that's impossible to ignore, or something? Even the annoying things about him make me smile. I know I sound crazy, I'll shut up," you said when you noticed the incredulous look on Maria's face.

"Girl, you love him."

You balked and nearly choked on your taco. "No."

"Yes."

You shook your head and took a big sip from your margarita. "I care about him deeply but I'm not in love with him."

Maria widened her eyes in disbelief and looked back down at her food. "Okay... just sounds to me like something more."

You quickly changed the subject to her wedding dress, which easily distracted her while you let what she said about Joel marinate. Were you in love with Joel? Is that why you couldn't let Sam in? Were you that blind?

In the end, you decided to let it go. It didn't matter, anyway. What you had with Joel was over, and after the way things ended, you couldn't imagine a situation where he would ever want to give you another chance, assuming you could get past all your insecurities surrounding his profession. Therapy was helping, but you had a long way to go, and ultimately you were seeking help to better yourself overall, not to make things work with Joel.

Maria had told you Joel bought a house but for some reason, you imagined it was a small ranch house somewhere, not a gorgeous two-story relatively new build. Or so, it looked new as you walked up the driveway and stared at the new black roof and white siding. You could feel your heart beginning to beat faster the closer you got to his front porch, gripping the brown paper bag at your side with sweaty fingers.

Stop it, you're just leaving the shirts at his door, there's no need to be nervous.

You climbed the creaky wooden steps and looked at the two Adirondack chairs with a table in between and suddenly you felt a pit form in your stomach. Two?

Why hadn't it occurred to you before now that he could be seeing someone? What if he was bringing her as a date to the wedding?

Stop. It. Drop the bag and fucking go.

You nestled the paper bag behind one of the chairs and turned to leave when you heard the front door squeak open.

"What're you doin'?"

You closed your eyes and silently cursed to yourself before spinning around with a forced smile on your face, only to have it immediately slip with you saw Joel had greeted you completely shirtless with his hair a disheveled mess.

Shit.

"Hey, I'm, uh, just dropping off the shirts for the guys," you pointed to the paper bag, his eyes following your finger.

He opened the screen door, stepping out to pick it up and you had to look away. He was wearing basketball shorts and the material clung around his bulge just a little too well.

"Why didn't you just knock?"

"Um," you took a breath and met his gaze, refusing to let your eyes drop lower than his neck. "Didn't wanna bother you."

"It's no bother. You wanna come in?" he asked. You finally picked up on the gravelly sound to his voice once you were able to ignore his smooth, broad chest.

"Did you just wake up?"

He shrugged and gave you half a smirk while he held the door open.

"Worked late."

"Ah," you replied, gaze dropping to the porch while you rocked back and forth on your heels. Work.

"You comin' in or not? I'm lettin' flies in."

"Uh, sure," you finally decided, sneaking past him, purposely holding your breath so you wouldn't breathe in his intoxicating scent.

His front door opened into his living room, which was about how you expected it to look: a dark couch with a matching chair surrounding a glass coffee table in front of a big screen TV with green and blue plastic clamshell video game cases scattered on the floor.

"Want somethin' to drink?" he asked, brushing past you as he ambled into his kitchen. You followed, noting his house seemed to lack... something.

"Water's fine."

It was bare. That's what it was. It hit you when you were in the kitchen. He had all the essentials but there was no warmth, no decorations, no pictures.

"Did you just move in?" you asked, then thanked him when he handed you a bottle of water.

"'Bout three months ago."

"Oh," you replied before taking a slow sip of water, your eyes darting around the sparse kitchen. "It's nice," you finally said when you pulled the bottle from your lips.

At least you could be sure he wasn't living with a girl. His home practically screamed bachelor pad.

"Thanks. How's your ma?" he asked before picking up a half drank mug of coffee.

You leaned against the kitchen counter and crossed your arms. "She's good. She's already found a new boyfriend. And here I thought I was doing her a favor by moving in and keeping her company," you said with a soft laugh. "Now I feel like I'm in the way of her exciting social life."

Joel nodded and sat down at the kitchen table with a grunt, his legs spread wide as he leaned back into the chair.

"Been meanin' to apologize to you," he said, staring down at his coffee sitting on the table. "Shoulda been there to help you move out, or at least say bye. I'm real sorry 'bout that."

That took you by surprise.

"You don't have anything to apologize for," you said immediately with a shake of your head. "It would have been too painful, anyway."

Joel took a deep breath through his nose. "Yeah, reckon that's why I bailed that day."

Neither of you said anything for a moment, both of you thinking back to that week when everything fell apart.

"I'm so sorry for what I did to you, Joel," you said quietly. He frowned and looked up.

"What you did to me?"

"Yeah. For pulling you into my mess and hurting you. It was never my intention, but I recognize it was my fault. I started it. I kissed you. I came to your room that day. It's all on me, okay?" You looked at him with raw pain in your eyes and he sighed.

"Darlin', if you didn't start it, I would've. It ain't all on you," he told you softly.

You nodded and you felt tears welling up in your eyes, so you dropped your gaze to the floor and pressed your lips into a thin line, trying to stifle your emotion, but Joel could see it.

"It was fun while it lasted though, huh?" he joked, then grinned when you laughed and swiped away a stray tear.

"Yeah," you sniffled with a smile.

Joel pursed his lips and looked back down at his mug, his middle finger gently tracing the lip of the ceramic when he asked, "you seein' anyone?"

You shook your head. "No. I think it's probably best I take some time to work on myself first."

The same question for him was on the tip of your tongue but you couldn't bring yourself to ask because if the answer was yes, you weren't sure you were ready to hear it.

"Well, anyway," he said with a slap to his thighs, "everythin' ready for tomorrow? Need me to do anythin'?"

You smiled and shook your head. "Just handle the guys and I'll handle the girls. I have all the money to pay the limo bus driver. Did you have enough for the booze?"

"Mhm, no problem there," Joel said after taking a sip from his now lukewarm coffee.

The goal was to bar crawl some local spots in downtown Austin and in between, party on the limo bus.

"Just make sure to have a good playlist ready so we can connect to the speakers on the bus," you told him as you headed for the front door.

"Y'leavin'?" he asked, getting up to follow you. You shrugged and slid your shoes back on.

"Yeah, unless there was something else?"

He scratched his beard while he struggled to come up with anything that might make you stay. It just felt too nice to have you around again and he didn't want it to end.

"No, nothin' else," he finally said. "See you tomorrow."

Back to the scene of the crime, you almost let slip, but fortunately common sense kicked in and said, "Tommy and Maria's, 8pm so you can help me pack up the bus before everyone arrives."

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, leaning against the doorframe as he watched you jog down his porch steps, tossing one more wave over your shoulder before getting into your car. As he watched you drive away, he tried to stifle that familiar, desperate feeling he always felt whenever you left and forced himself to go back inside.

The party bus was already wild before it reached the end of the street. You just sat down after passing around Jell-O shots and making sure the snacks and waters you brought were readily available to the entire bus when Maria shoved a solo cup in your hand.

"What's this?" you asked over the roar coming from the speakers blaring AC/DC and the guys screaming along to the lyrics after they all did a toast to Tommy, throwing back shots of tequila.

"Jungle juice!" she replied with a grin. You took a sip and raised your eyebrows in surprise.

"Not bad!"

The lights on the bus dimmed and you looked up to find Joel playing around with the knobs at the front of the bus. Suddenly, brightly colored lights that lined the floor and roof of the bus turned on, painting everyone in a red glow that faded to orange then to all the colors of the rainbow.

"Come on, Tommy! Show us what you got!" one of Maria's bridesmaids yelled when Tommy stood up and leaned on the stripper pole in the middle of the floor for support when the bus took a turn.

"I ain't drunk enough yet, ladies!" he replied with a lopsided grin. Joel chuckled as he made his way back to his seat.

"What about you, Joel?" she asked, then all the groomsmen began whooping and pumping their fists, encouraging him, but he shook his head and sat down.

"Gotta pay me extra for that," he smirked. He brought his beer to his lips and glanced briefly in your direction before looking away.

The whole bus was wearing matching white shirts with Tommy and Maria's names printed on the back with the date of their wedding and a note at the bottom that, depending if you were a girl or a guy, said if found, please return me to the bride/groom.

On the front of the shirts was a big box where everyone could tally all the drinks and shots they had that evening with the sharpie necklaces you handed out as everyone boarded the bus. So far, most people had at least one drink or shot under their belts.

"Alright, who wants to play Tipsy Hoe?" you called out while holding up a stack of index cards. The bus cheered so you began to explain the rules. "We pick one card with a specific word on it that nobody's allowed to say. The person who says it first has to take a shot and then we pick another one."

Another of Maria's bridesmaids eagerly volunteered to pick the first card. You fanned them out as she carefully chose one from the middle and read it. "The word is Bride!" she announced, and half the bus collapsed into laughter.

"Take a shot, you can't say it! Just hold it up!" you giggled when she laughed and buried her face in her hands. "Okay, go again."

After taking a shot and drawing another tally mark on her shirt, she picked another card and this time, held it up for everyone to see: dress.

"What's that say? I can't read it?" Joel teased from the back, and she stuck out her tongue.

"Ha ha, not falling for it."

You sat back down and took a sip from your cup before leaning into Maria's side to take a few selfies only for them to come out completely blurry from the dim lighting, but you saved them anyway.

Joel brushed past the two of you to go to the front of the bus and direct the driver on where to drop the group off for the first bar, and as the bus slowed down, most people chugged the rest of their drinks and added a mark to their shirts before standing up and filing out the door.

"Jesus, Tommy, when'd you have four drinks?" Maria asked when she saw his shirt. He grinned and draped an arm around her shoulders.

"What can I say? The guys can be persuasive."

"Hey, don't you know that girl over there?" Joel asked when he suddenly appeared at your side with a cigarette hanging from his lips. He pointed over to a group of three girls standing right outside the bar with sparkly outfits on and heavy eyeshadow.

"Which one?"

"The one in the blue."

"The blue top or the blue dress?"

He smirked and shot you a wink before taking a deep drag of his cigarette. You groaned and slapped your palm to your face.

"I can't believe I fell for that."

He laughed, a plume of smoke rolling from his lips, then tossed the cigarette on the ground. "C'mon, I'll buy you the shot."

"It's the least you could do," you teased, following him inside past the bouncer. The bar was dark and really fucking loud as you weaved your way through the throngs of sweaty people until Joel managed to squeeze his way to the bar and flag down a bartender. While you waited for your drinks, you tried to locate the rest of the group, but the only people you saw were Maria and Tommy down at the other end of the bar with one other groomsman you didn't know very well.

"Bottoms up," Joel told you after handing you the shot and a mixed drink. You winced when you tossed it back, then handed him the empty glass. He pushed it back across the sticky bar along with his own empty shot glass then pointed to your shirt.

"Ah, right," you mumbled before uncapping the sharpie around your neck and scribbling a tick mark on the fabric. Joel stretched his own shirt out and you hesitated for just a second before drawing a quick mark on his shirt and tried not to focus too much on the sweat that had soaked through the collar already.

"You stayin' at Tommy and Maria's tonight?" he asked. He brought a bottle of beer to his lips and took a long sip but didn't take his eyes away from you.

"Yeah, I can't imagine driving home at this rate," you replied while motioning to your shirt with your free hand. He nodded and let his eyes drift around the room behind you, head nodding slightly to the beat of the music before he said, "Maybe we can watch a movie. Like old times."

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. "You're staying over, too?"

He nodded again and took another drink as your heart fluttered nervously in your chest. Maria conveniently failed to mention he was planning on staying the night, as well. Where the hell did she expect you both to sleep when there was only one couch?

You scanned the bar and found her laughing at something Tommy was saying, waving his hands around dramatically as he told some story. Narrowing your eyes, you hoped she could feel the heat from your stare, but of course she was oblivious.

Just as you were about to reply to him about the movie, you felt someone's arm snake around your waist right before their overpowering cologne made you gag.

"You wanna dance?" a voice slurred in your ear, and you immediately twisted away from his sour breath and turned to face him. He wasn't with your group, just some other patron, and he looked completely wasted. A thin sheen of sweat covered his neck and face and his eyes looked glassy as he stared down at you, waiting for an answer.

"Uh, no thank you! I was just leaving."

"Aw, come on, just one dance?" the stranger pushed with a lopsided grin but it just made him look even more sloppy.

"She's with me," Joel said defensively before tugging you closer and tucking you under his arm. You could smell his deodorant and soap and it instantly transported you back in time to the point where you had to fight the urge to bury your face against his chest and breathe deep.

"My bad," the guy said, raising his hands defensively before walking away.

"Thanks," you said so softly you weren't sure he could hear you over the music, but he did. He dropped his arm and cleared his throat as you tried to create a bit of space between you again without being awkward, but it was hard to do.

"I hope you don't feel like you can't dance with other guys 'cause I'm here," he said.

"No, I know, I'm just not looking for... that right now," you assured him before taking a long sip from your drink and glancing around the bar.

"Right, you mentioned that," he replied. The topic of your love life caused a heavy silence to settle between you even though you were surrounded by noise. Right when you were about to make an excuse and leave, he spoke again.

"How's all that goin', by the way? Therapy?"

"It's... going okay," you said. What was he getting at?

He tossed back the rest of his beer and slid the empty across the bar.

"Okay enough to start datin' again soon?"

You swallowed nervously. Was he asking for a specific reason?

The look on your face made him switch gears because he grinned and shrugged. "Friends ask 'bout each other, right?"

Oh.

"They do."

He nodded, his smile faltering a moment when his gaze slid to your lips before he forced himself to look away. "C'mon, let's find the rest of the party." Then he took your hand and led you through the crowd.

Stop it, get it together, he's just being nice, like you asked, you told yourself. But you really, really hoped you were wrong.

"Here's some extra pillows and blankets," Maria sang gleefully with a shit eating grin.

"I can't believe you," you seethed quietly so Joel wouldn't hear you from downstairs.

"What? I forgot Tommy told Joel he could stay over," she said with a tipsy shrug.

"I'm half tempted to call an Uber."

"Don't you fucking dare. Now be an adult and go sleep with your ex," she giggled, giving your shoulder a shove to make you move towards the direction of the stairs.

"Hilarious," you replied dryly, but before you took another step she pulled you into a hug.

"Thank you so much for tonight, we had such a," she hiccuped before pulling away, "great time."

You blew her a kiss before giving her the finger. "Love you."

"Love you, too!" she practically shouted, and you turned around halfway down the stairs to shush her. She slapped her hands over her mouth and giggled before stumbling into her bedroom and shutting the door.

"Wha' the hell was she shoutin' for?" Joel asked groggily from his spot splayed out on the couch, remote control hanging limply from his fingers as he blinked at the TV, trying to clear his vision.

"Nothing. Here," you said, tossing him a pillow and blanket. He reached out to catch them but missed, then started to giggle when he accidentally slid from the couch onto the floor to pick them up. You grinned and threw yours on the other end of the couch and wandered into the kitchen, returning with two bottles of ice cold water. "Drink this," you said with a yawn. He took it and you plopped down on the other end of the couch while Joel flicked through title after title on one of the many streaming services Tommy and Maria had.

While Joel continued to browse, you shifted uncomfortably before setting down your water and reaching behind you to unclasp your bra. With practiced ease, you pulled it out from under your shirt without having to remove any clothes and tossed it on the floor. Joel's eyes widened when he saw it and looked at you.

"Don't get any ideas, I just can't sleep in a bra."

He smirked before picking a romcom and settling in under his blanket. "Next you gonna tell me you can't sleep with panties on?"

You snorted and felt your cheeks flush but thankfully the lights in the living room were off, leaving only the glow from the television to light the room.

"You wish."

The alcohol was making both of you way flirtier than you intended to be, so you shut up. You watched the movie hazily for a while, laughing softly at Hugh Grant's charismatic humor. It was quiet for so long that you had assumed Joel fell asleep until he suddenly spoke again.

"This's nice."

You rolled your head to the side and smiled at him. "Yeah, it is."

He smiled back, his eyes bright from the glow from the television, cheeks still a little pink from the booze as he looked you up and down. "C'mere."

You pinched your eyebrows together. "Why?" you asked slowly. He rolled his eyes and waved you over.

"Jus' get your ass over here."

With a sigh, you scooted over to his end of the couch and once you got close enough, he threw his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his side. You let out a quiet oof when the side of your face came in contact with his chest, but god the way he smelled had you reeling for the second time that night. Even with the lingering scent of cigarette smoke and spilled liquor, he still smelled amazing. He smelled like him. A comforting smell you missed so much in the past five months that it almost hurt to have it back again.

His hand gently stroked your back as you watched the movie. The steady thrum of his heart beating against your ear combined with the alcohol and his warmth made your eyelids droop and before you knew it, you were out like a light. When Joel realized you were asleep, he looked down at you and smiled before turning off the television and slowly rotating you both so you were laying (albeit, scrunched) together along the couch. His arm remained wrapped around you and your face was buried against his chest with one of your legs draped over one of his and everything finally felt right again.

Please follow @punkshort-notifs and turn on notifications for fic updates ❤️

[juneberrie]

DATING APPLEJACK !

request || equestria girls!apple jack x fem!reader

author's note: everyone say thank you to mars for encouraging my delusions & to the person who requested this. also ive been picturing her the way @/cloiiiiii on tiktok draws her so like yeah

ⓘ word count : 0.8k || applejack masterlist

probably didn't realize she liked you until someone (rarity) told her

"what? no way, i don't like-" and then the "HOLY SHIT I DO LIKE HER!"

she was the last to know

rainbow and rarity have to give her advice on asking you out (rarity's is serious and helpful, dash's is just "ask her out dumbass")

probably asked you out with flowers.

"so uh– i was wondering' if you'd, uh, y'know, wanna go out with me sometime? it's fine if not– y'know what, nevermind its stupi–"

she's so nervous!!!

anyways onto the actual dating hcs

she was the one to say i love you first

you guys were probably taking a walk or something and you were talking and she'll like smile at you really lovingly and go "i love you, y'know"

calls you really cheesy nicknames — sugar, sugar cube, pretty girl, my girl, princess, angel, darlin', missy, sweetheart, sweet pea, honey, etc etc

would take you on the cutest dates!!!

sunsets, picnics, apple picking (duh), late night drives

if u like shopping then she's def the kind of girl who'll hold all your bags

she'll also walk you to all your classes / walk you home

also!!! kind of gf who won't leave u alone in public. like if you guys go out she WILL stay with you at all times cause yk 😕

she's such a sweetheart

will open doors for you and get offended if you try to do ANYTHING yourself

SHE WAS RAISED RIGHT 🗣

can and will give you her clothes to wear. PLEAAASE wear her flannels/shirts around her she will lose her mind

"well, darlin', don't you look nice?" whenever u get dressed up

she either gets flustered really easily or she doesnt

pls imagine her in like. a white tank and jeans and cowboy boots

1 million dead 4923 injured

her voice in the morning >>>>>

it has a little rasp and her accent is like ten times thicker and just ugh

she's jacked btw. apple jacked.

she grew up up a farm like what'd u expect

anyways imagine needing to get smth off a shelf or something and she just comes up behind you and reaches to grab the thing and her arms ohmygod

love languages are definitely acts of service & quality time

CONSTANTLY doing little things for you

holding open the door, getting you flowers every week, randomly cleaning your room when she's at your house, filling up ur drink, ordering for you, etc

such a "my girl" kind of gf

"attagirl" "my girl" "pretty girl" "sweet girl"

randomly gives u compliments

also!! i don't see her as the kind of gf who comments under ur insta posts but she's def the kind who'll post them on her story

she's not a very social media person in general, but any post she does make is probably of you

would def write you a sappy letter on your anniversary/valentines/christmas/new years/your birthday

basically any chance she gets she'll write u a long, sappy letter telling you how much she appreciates you and loves you and yap yap yap

i don't see her as a person who wears much jewelry, but i can definitely see her having a locket with your picture in it, or some kind of matching bracelet

randomly starts yapping about you to the girls

"she's so sweet and i love her an–" "SHUT UP WE GET IT." "dang okay"

they're your biggest fans!!!

pinkie probably made a fan account on insta thats just her posting cute pictures of you guys

rarity helps applejack plan dates and shit

dash playfully flirts with you any chance she gets because she finds it hilarious when aj glares at her

speaking of that, i can't see her being someone who gets jealous super super easily?

like, i can definitely see her sidling up beside you, putting an arm around your waist, and glaring at the person who's flirting with you

"who's this, darlin'?"

she has an rbf so if you're really sunshine-y you guys look ridiculous tg

scary guard dog gf!!!!

such an early riser but if you ask her to stay in bed with you she'll be so dramatic about it (she'll sigh and be like "alright, alright, but just this once" <- its happened multiple times)

apple bloom adores you!!! she'll randomly barge into aj's room to talk to you (aj thinks its cute how much she likes you but she does NOT appreciate her sister's interruption)

100% your biggest supporter

if you do theatre or choir or orchestra, she'll show up to EVERY. SINGLE. PERFORMANCE. you will ever have

if you do sports, trust she'll be at all your games yelling her head off and holding a big ass sign

she's really good at cooking so she'll learn how to make your favorite dishes!!! this also means you guys have cute little dinners at home a lot <3

© juneberrie 2024 – reblogs are appreciated!!!

[ihaznoclue]

Hello!! I would like to request Bumblebee, Ratchet and maybe Smokescreen being extra clingy and protective after their female human s/o barely escapes death in a fight !! Thanks alot ☺️🩵

Pairings -> Bumblbee, Ratchet, Smokescreen x Female Reader

Warnings -> Near Death experiences, Blood, Injuries, weapons mentioned || NOT PROOF-READ

Note -> Them being extra clingy and protective over their souldmate/sparkmate after the reader barely escapes a death fight

Genre -> Angst and Fluff

Bumblebee

This baby wouldn't even let you go anywhere without him being there

Once he found out that you had a fight with someone at school as you were badly injuries since they brought a weapon to the fight which was unfair

You had blood coming from your nose and on your knuckles from punching the hell out of the guy that fought with you

You also had a stab wound on your side which you barely escaped from stabbing into your heart area

When you came back to the base, bee was all over you saying if you were okay and what happened

Jack seemed to have told Bee on why you were away for 3 whole weeks from being at the hospital

Bee now would always carry you with him either on his shoulder plate or his servo

You would always tell him that you are okay just need healing

He is not going to let you slid away and have another fight again

What would he do if he actually lost you?

He would be lost without you

Ratchet

He is literally like a protective boyfriend to you

He would always tell you that you can't go anywhere without healing

But when he can't find you he would go ape shit as he would look everywhere and then you would just walk out to the main base area to see him eye widened

Then he would scoop you up as take you to his beathroom

He would sometimes lecture you to never go anywhere without telling him as you reassure him you won't be in any other fight

Once you came back to he base with some blood on you and some bandages around your neck

He goes into worried mode as MIko excitedly explains what happened between you and someone else

Then Ratchet would be like really confused as he never thought you were the type to fight someone

But Ratchet is always going to be there by your side

He would even let you stay with him in the base while he does his work while you do yours that you missed while at the hospital

Smokescreen

He is such a worried puppy

This dude would literally follow you around the whole base and always makes sure you are okay and comfortable

Even cuddling, he would make sure to not hurt you in any type of way

He's such a sweetheart to you as you always have to explain to him that you were healing quickly and it was a little wound

He would literally say how you passed out after the fight

He was about to pick you up as he saw the fight and saw you covered in injuries and blood on your favourite shirt

He would have to wait until everyone was gone, luckily Jack was there to take you to Smokescreen as he takes you to base where June darpy was as Jack takes you out

Smokescreen was always by your side even when you woke up the next day

Now he won't leave your side even if it was something basic to do

He's protective when you say "ow" he would think someone did something until he realises that you were fine

But the poor baby can't help and watch you just in case

-A<3

[lovetei]

I'm Tei, the owner of LoveTei

I just like writing as a past time hobby and to relieve stress.

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED UNTIL DECEMBER 27!!

For further elaboration I'm like "Oh shit... That seems like something this character would do." and I'll open this app, write it then post it.

And this page is 18+

That's all, thanks!

♠️ - Fluff

♥️ - Smut

♦️ - Angst

♣️ - Crack

✴️ - Dark

◾ - Demon Brothers

◽ - Side Characters

♠️ ◾◽- Things that the citizens of the Devildom witnessed that will prove that this Human have the characters at their beck and call

✴️ ◾◽ - What are the most toxic thing they will do in a relationship just to make you stay with them?

♠️ ◾◽- The characters comforting you after you experienced an extremely frustrating day

♥️◾◽- Their reaction to Sheep!MC turning into their human form, naked, in front of them

✴️♥️◾◽ - Are you the Ex because you're MC or are you MC because you're the Ex?

♦️♠️◾- Mammon consulting MC after he tried to do the did with her but she refused and he went to ask Asmo and he found out MC is actually insecure

♥️◽- Mephistopheles as your everything because he's my everything

♣️ ◾◽- As bad students

♠️ ◾◽ - Comforting a MC that broke down in the group chat and what are specific things they'll do to comfort you

♠️◾◽ - Their reaction when they found out their MC can sing

♠️♦️◾◽ - Them sending you a letter after you had a fight

♠️♣️◾◽ - MC playing filp the bottle except if they landed it, they go make out with Solomon

♠️◾◽ - Their reaction to Sheep MC changing into their human form at the end of the exchange program

♠️♣️◾◽ - MC taking the brothers in Disneyland and everything is already paid

♥️✴️◾◽ - MC and their boy toys or the characters with a toxic MC

♥️◾◽ - Sheep!MC turned back into their human form meaning they have their human throat again

♠️◾◽ - MC who thinks Cerberus is just a giant puppy that derives love cause he's a good boy

✴️♦️◾◽- The characters meeting you in their own wedding, and the bride was not you

♠️♣️◾◽- Their reaction to finding out MC is Solomon's spouse and they find his cooking edible

♥️◾◽- MC was affected by this mysterious potion that makes them crave for some back-breaking fuck

♠️♦️◾◽- Soulmate-reincarnation universe in where they've lost you and won't let it happen again

🌑 - Heartslabyul 🌕 - Pomefiore

🌒 - Savanaclaw 🌖 - Ignihyde

🌓 - Octavinelle 🌗 - Draconia

🌔 - Scarabia

♠️♣️🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗 - Everywhere I go I keep his picture in my wallet like: Take a look at my boyfriend

OBEY ME: Royal Universe

Scenarios: Introduction

PART 02: How did you turn them from hostile wolves to meek lambs of hell?

OBEY ME: Idol Universe

Scenarios: Introduction

PART 02: If you had been there, if you had seen it! I bet ya, you would have done the same!

TWISTED WONDERLAND: Purge Universe

Scenarios: Introduction

OBEY ME: Swapped Universe

Scenarios: Introduction

OBEY ME: Lillian Universe

Scenarios: Introduction

🕛 - Lucifer 🕞 - Diavolo

🕧 - Mammon 🕓 - Barbatos

🕐 - Leviathan 🕟 - Simeon

🕜 - Satan 🕔 - Solomon

🕑 - Asmodeus �� - Mephistopheles

🕝 - Beelzebub 🕕 - Raphael

🕒 - Belphegor 🕡 - Thirteen

OBEY ME

What type of bottom are they?

🕛-🕧-🕐-🕜-🕑-🕝-🕒-🕞-🕓-🕟-🕔-🕠-🕕-🕡

"Baby, can't you see? I got everything you need." Only a genius can love a human like me!

🕛, 🕜, 🕔, 🕟, 🕞

--------------------------------------------------

TWISTED WONDERLAND

🕛 - Riddle Roseheart 🕧 - Floyd Leech

🕐 - Trey Clover 🕜 - Kalim Al-asim

🕑 - Cater Diamond 🕝 - Jami Viper

🕒 - Deuce Spade 🕞 - Vil Schoenheit

🕓 - Ace Trappola 🕟 - Rook Hunt

🕔 - Leona Kingscholar 🕠 - Epel Felmier

🕕 - Ruggie Bucchi 🕡 - Malleus Draconia

🕖 - Jack Howl 🕢 - Lilian Vanrouge

🕗 - Azul Ashengrotto 🕣 - Sebek Zigvolt

🕘 - Jade Leech 🕤 - Silver

"Baby, can't you see? I got everything you need." Only a genius can love a human like me!

⚫ - I might not write requests that includes disabilities or illnesses, not because I'm against them or anything but because I'm not knowledgeable enough and might offend people who's experiencing them...

⚫ - When asking for an alternate universe, I'll first write an introduction and you can ask again what you want to see in that universe like "How would Royal AU react to this scenario?"

⚫ - I'm open for requests

⚫ - #🖤 tei talks is my tag when answering non-requesting asks you can block it if you want

[softly-sirius]

Are the Bear Staff Jacked and Kind? (Gn)

Currently on shift: Carmen, Luca, Richie, Sweeps, Tina, Sydney, Fak, Mikey, Marcus

TW: Lifting, mentions of weight, I kept this as gender-neutral as possible and tried to stay away from describing the reader's body type or weight, but pls reach out if there's any way I can make this more inclusive or you see anything that is upsetting <3

Thank you @laurenjbb for requesting this, I hope I did it justice! Also thanks to the person who pointed out I was missing Mikey :)

Carmen:

You had to goad him into

If you straight up ask he’s saying no, but if you say he’s just not strong enough and scared to drop you he is manhandling you sooo fast.

A smug little grin on his face as he takes a moment to cop a feel of your plush thighs. 

“You were saying baby” 

You would boast about how strong he is all-day

Taking any chance to squeeze at his arms (and maybe nibble on them a little bit)

He’d be so blushy at the end of the day

Luca:

As soon as Luca sees the first TikTok, he waits for you to bring it up. You’re a sucker for these TikTok trends and he’s lost track of how many you’ve asked him to try out

So he waits

And waits

And waits

And what the hell? why are you not asking him to lift you up?

He wonders if you haven’t seen it yet, but then he catches you scrolling through the videos on your phone in bed, so he knows that can’t be it.

What if you think he can’t lift you? 

He’s not having that, not at all. 

He starts doing ‘casual’ push-ups in the bedroom

Lifting as many heavy things in his arms at once as possible

Not so subtly flexing his arms every time he catches you looking. 

You stand in front of him, searching the counter and finding nothing there for you to taste. 

Eventually, he just gives up.

He sets it up himself, hiding his phone on the kitchen counter and asking you to come and taste something. 

Before you can question it, his hands are on you and he’s lifting you up and up until you are sat on his shoulder, shrieking.

“LUCA!” You’d yell, before you realise exactly what he’s been doing, also realising what all of his weird behaviour has been about. 

He watches that video on a loop whenever he misses you, bc he loves hearing your giggle

Richie:

I’m so sorry, but no matter how much you beg and ask there is no chance he is lifting you like that

He is an old man and he will break his back, no matter your size it’s not happening

He won't lift Eva onto his shoulders anymore either

If you goad him about it, you will be called a brat and you will be in for it later

Lowkey turned on whenever you call him your old man

If this takes place after forks he might let you try to lift him over your shoulder

Call him your anything and he’s weak in his old man knees

If you succeed (after forks) he is so excited and gets you to do it again and again in front of everyone. 

Smugly talking about how strong his fucking s/o is

But makes you lift so much heavy shit from now on

Fak:

Fak is the one who wants to do it, might not even ask, he’ll just grab you by the waist and hoist you up

Look people might disagree but you think your man is a beefcake, he’s hauling shit around all day!

His strength is not appreciated enough

His grip is iron-tight on your thighs to keep you stable 

You’re giggling on his shoulder, stealing his hat and putting it on your head so you can get a hold of his hair

He’ll just walk around with you on his shoulder for a while, just because he can

Sweeps:

Did he just hear a thud? 

You get on his shoulder and your head hits the ceiling

Might be taking you to urgent care, but he’s still pretty proud of himself

Sydney:

You both try and lift each other grappling at each other's waists

Too bad Sydney has the worst sense of balance known to man because whether she’s lifting or being lifted you both end up on the floor. 

Wants to keep trying because she swears she’ll manage it this time

Swears she won’t lean too far backwards this time 

Swears she won’t lift you too far over her shoulder this time so you fall right off

Swears she won’t spin around and take out the lamp this time

You need to buy a new lamp

Mikey:

Have you seen this man?

No matter what you weigh, even if you’re Mikey's carbon copy in stature, this man can lift you like it is nothing

He’s lifting you every which way, just to show he can 

Not only will he lift you onto his shoulder if you ask

Just to get you laughing and smiling

Piggyback ride, check

Princess carry, check

Bent over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes, check

Pushed up against the wall, wrists above your head, check

Marcus:

How your sweet, loving partner got so ripped when he eats so many sugared treats you’ll never understand 

Can’t say you don’t appreciate it though

I feel like Marcus does this all the time already

Like let's be real, Marcus is probably the best boyfriend you could have

He rarely brings his work shit home and if he does it’s because he knows how much better you will make him feel about it all

So if doing some little lifting trend makes you happy, he’s all for it

I think along with Luca, Marcus is the only other one who sees these trends 

Is probably the only one willing to let you upload videos of the two 

Might ask you to do the trend together before you do, just to see your excited little grin

Tina 

You swear he is your dream boy jacked and kind

You remind him off it all night with sweet kisses and wandering hands

If you ask she gives you The Look

Still Hungry? Here is our Menu:

Would you love me if I was a worm?

Would you peel my orange?

Will you watch Barbie with me?

Wiping off their kisses

[tsotg]

The Monster Hunter and the Hunted Monster

I thought of another universe I might wanna make content for. I know a lot of people already have this type of AU already but I can't resist making my own ;;-;;

Imagine Hiccup has been hunting Jack for ages. Jack has been one of the few creatures he's never been able to catch and that type of challenge is exhilarating. So he keeps trying to find him, luring him out with the threat of harm to his precious forest.

One day, for a reason or another, Pitch curses them both. They're both lost and trapped in a new and un familiar environment. Hiccup is overjoyed that he's finally able to catch Jack when they bump into each other but that feeling doesn't last long. They're both kind of terrified of where they are but won't show it to each other, instead letting it out as anger towards each other.

A few days into their banishment, Hiccup gets desperate. There's no animals to hunt, nothing to grow, he's starving and it doesn't seem like he's gonna get any food any time soon. So he goes to Jack and begs to know how he's not hungry. Jack replies with how he obviously doesn't get hungry because he's a spirit.

Hiccup breaks in front of him, he tells him how scared he is and how much he wants to go back home. Jack gets surprised, of all people, he would've never expected Hiccup to show this much vulnerability.

Jack feels the same as he does, he's scared and he wants to go home. And after settling down and making sure Hiccup isn't trying to trick him, he tells him so.

They talk about how much they love their home, about anything that comes to mind really. Until Hiccup has a fainting spell. Jack hurries to help him but has no idea how humans work anymore. He's been in his forest for so long.

When Hiccup wakes up, Jack asks him what happened. Hiccup reminds him how hungry he is and how little energy his body has. Jack hesitates before telling Hiccup how he has saved people lost in the forest in the same situation before but he's not gonna like how it's done.

Hiccup brushes it off, it can't be that bad right?

Jack presses his lips together in an awkward smile.

"Well- Not a lot of people get lost in the woods you know. And the children can see and hear me no problem. They follow the animals out of the forest. I've only done this twice and the first time I didn't even know I could do it so it wasn't super successful..."

"Just spit it out, if you can save me, do it. I want to go home after we get out of this shit hole."

Jack thought about telling him for a second but he doubted Hiccup would let him after hearing of the process.

"Ok, close your eyes then."

"Why?"

"It'll be easier for the both of us."

So Hiccup closed his eyes after giving Jack an eye roll. Jack took Hiccup's chin, opening his mouth slightly, braced himself and leaned in. As soon as their lips connected, Hiccup jumped in surprise and tried to push Jack away but couldn't find the strength in time before he realized what was happening.

This wasn't just a kiss, Jack's eyes glowed and his skin slowly lost the little colour it had left. He was transferring his energy to Hiccup. And Hiccup felt alive again. He leaned in slightly and enjoyed the feeling this gave him. Until he felt Jack's grasp on him weakened and he regained he train of thought again.

Jack took a second to snap out of the daze this put him in. Hiccup feared for a the worst for a second before Jack blinked a few times and his eyes went back to normal. He looked around for a second, almost looking as if he had no idea where he was. His eyes locked onto Hiccup and fear crept onto his expression. Hiccup felt him tense up in his arms. And then just like that, he took a breath for the first time since Hiccup closed his eyes and he looked normal again.

"For the Gods, if you told me this was gonna kill you I wouldn't have let you to do it!" Hiccup scolded.

"I didn't know it would do that. It never did in my forest." Jack looked off in the distance to ponder for a bit before what Hiccup said actually registered in his head. "Wait you're worried about me?"

"That's not the point."

"Yes it is!"

Jack gave Hiccup as teasing grin. Hiccup completely disconnected from the conversation and got up. Jack couldn't hold back, he kept teasing Hiccup as he tried to walk away.

"Well look who's feeling better." Hiccup tried to say it in a sarcastic tone but couldn't hold back a small smile.

==============

RAHHH PLEASE tell me if you wanna read more!! I will write more! And maybe I'll draw some better art of these gays.

[princess-of-the-corner]

My problem with Adrien's actions in Syren isn't his feelings, but the timing. Paris is flooded by an Akuma attack, thousands of people are DEAD and will stay so unless the Akuma is defeated, and THAT is the moment he threatens to quit unless Plagg tells him about the Guardian.

He's literally holding the city hostage for it.

He's literally fucking not he's doing the exact fucking opposite and the fact that I have to say this fcukign AGAIN about a years old episode is getting on my nerves so let's go over several facts here

1.) There is literally nothing Adrien can do right now.

Adrien already tried fighting Syren the old-fashioned way without the power-ups. He got his ass handed to him. So did Ladybug. That's why Ladybug fucked off to ask Fu if he had any ideas. If Adrien tried to do something again, he'd lose to Syren and get his Miraculous taken.

The only thing he can do is sit and wait for Ladybug and hope that she may have something for him to do. Which, for all he knows, she won't! Adrien doesn't know about the power-ups so Ladybug's probably going to come back with another Hero who has some water-themed powers who can save the day single-handedly!

2.) He's trying to do what he can

The whole GODDAMN POINT is that Adrien wants to help! He wants to do something! He thinks that if Plagg gives him all the information that Ladybug's being given, he may be able to find a solution and be a better and more useful Hero.

What else is he supposed to do right now? Jump in and fight Syren? I relegate you back to point #1! Think of a plan? He doesn't have all the information which is why he's trying to get Plagg to tell him!

3.) this is not the first time he's been relegated to uselessness.

Syren is early on but it's part of a long string of episodes painting Chat as very useless for anything other than Ladybug's emotional support cheerleader.

Adrien is making a point of how he isn't needed. Clearly! He can't do jack shit against this Akuma! He's just gonna sit on the rooftop looking pretty while Ladybug brings in yet another Hero to help where he can't. Chat is just one of many tools to her. What's the point of him when she has /better/ tools that are getting the job done and he's not even given basic respect?

4.) He's not even taking Chat Noir out of the equation.

Yes, Adrien threatens to quit as Chat. But he quite literally says why does it matter? Ladybug can just give the Miraculous to someone else! He doesn't matter! Not here, not in other fights! His presence means nothing to her outside of being a tool which can be replaced incredibly easily as shown with the other Heroes!

5.) This is not the first time Adrien has asked for answers!

Adrien has been begging everyone he can for more information in much nicer ways. But yes he finally hit a breaking point when it's thrown in his face how utterly he doesn't matter to the fight at all and all he can do is sit there and contemplate the situation instead of doing anything helpful because! Again! There's nothing for him to do! As the previous points show that fighting the Akuma is a bad idea and he can't make a better plan if he doesn't have more info!

It's not like he 'picked the worst time', he's been asking for a while now and is yet again asking and saying 'hey shits fucked I might be able to help if you tell me about it!!!"

All this to sum up is I want a genuine answer about what Adrien was supposed to do while Syren was happening that doesn't boil down to 'he should shut the fuck up about wanting to be an equal Hero Partner who is given info so he can handle things! How dare he want basic respect for the job he's doing! He should just sit and look pretty whule Ladybug handles everything until she needs her tool- i mean, until she needs him to use Cataclysm on something'.

[scary-lasagna]

I LOVED THE VAMPIRE POST SMM. So like would Liu, EJ, BEN and Jeff let their vampire s/o bite them and drink their blood?

Homicidal Liu

Liu is squeamish when it comes to blood due to his past trauma of obvious reasons.

And even with a high pain tolerance, he wouldn't voluntarily allow himself to be bitten.

Many risks come with the first bite; An artery could be sliced, blood infection, too much blood loss, you hate the way his blood tastes so therefore you will hate him forever.

That last one was just Liu's imgaination running wild, but all together it's pretty risky.

He might offer a test bite, not a full chomp, but a little nibble on his arm to see how it feels. A pinprick was all he could describe it as.

But he quickly backed out once he caught wind of the blood trickling down his arm.

He might allow a second attempt, but not anytime soon. 

Sully, however, is a different story. He would let you drink this body dry, and force Liu forward in the middle of it just to be a sadistic asshole. 

Either way, they're both willing to try at least once.

Eyeless Jack

Jack doesn't think that you would enjoy his blood very much.

Much like the liquid that seeps from his eye sockets, his blood has a tar-like consistency. 

It wouldn't go down easy, and if your body rejects it since it's not truly 'blood', it won't come back up easy either.

Ultimately, Jack says no due to your safety. It just too big of a risk for Jack to feel comfortable letting you take a bite out of him.

Jelly donuts are better, anyway. Especially at 3am while everyone else is asleep.

BEN

BEN will act tough and dominant up until it's actually time for you to bite him.

He'll get squirmy and find excuses to delay the inevitable now that he's talked the big talk and agreed to do it.

You'll of course call him out on it, and will nervously sit down and away from his stack of DS games that he wanted to organize alphabetically. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" You ask him, with a comforting hand on his knee.

"Yeah.." Ben sighs and rubs the back of his neck with a nervous tic. " I'm just afraid it'll hurt or I make a weird noise or something." He chuckles lightly.

"We can start, and if you want to stop we can and I won't judge you for it." You reassure. "Or we can do blood lettings which doesn't involve biting."

"It's that like plague doctor shit, though?"

"Well yeah but it doesn't invol-"

"Just take a bite, babe."

He trusts you with all of his heart. And he lets you take a bite.

And yes, he does make a weird sound.

Jeff

Oh hell yeah, fucking go for it.

No questions asked.

Jeff thinks it's hardcore, and frankly, he's not experienced enough to know the dangers of blood letting or blood biting. He just thinks your hot and that you wanna bite him.

And honestly? Go for it. He's probably got a few diseases lurking in there but you're immortal so it doesn't affect you.

He would urge you to keep going even after he feels light headed, just ot see how long he can stay awake.

Jeff can be an extremely convincing individual, but do not trust him.

He can and will pass out and then you will have to call Eyeless Jack and explain everything to him.

He will not be happy.

Jeff will try to kiss him thinking that he's you.

And then Jeff will get swatted away and start crying out of rejection 

[milkycarnations]

HC's for the creeps aftercare after a rough night with their SO?

A rough night or a rough night? ;) Let's do both. Please keep sending stuff to my inbox I'm obsessed. For context, the sfw ones still apply in the nsfw context lol. I wanted the sfw ones to apply even in the context of just going through some tough shit.

Tim

sfw:

Makes you breakfast the next day - let's you pick. Or gets something for you if you prefer something from a cafe/restaurant/fast food chain.

You want a sausage egg McMuffin and breakfast ends in three minutes? He's gonna find a way to get you that sandwich.

He really believes in food as comfort and love, so whatever you prefer he wants to make happen.

nsfw:

Can't stop staring at you. Like, it's almost disturbing how his eyes are on you constantly.

Prefers if you don't get dressed, but if you must, would ask you to wear a long t-shirt or a slip.

In this moment, you could literally ask him to do anything for you - and he would. Use that information however you please. He just wants to pamper you.

Brian

sfw:

Won't let you go until you ask him to, even if he's lying in bed all day.

When you're genuinely bothered or upset by something, he can soften up and be really good support for whatever it is.

If cuddling for very long isn't your thing, then he's content just being near you.

nsfw:

This man is so smug.

Of course, if you're in sub drop or anything, he's going to go easy on you, but the back and forth between you doesn't really stop. He will bring up whatever happened and kind of keep that going - even if you're a bit embarrassed now that you came.

Really - he just wants to work you up all over again and keep the game going for just a little bit longer. I really do believe he's a mean dom and really does get off on humiliating you. He will remind you of everything embarrassing you did for him.

Jack

sfw:

Makes you drink a glass of water - even if you say you aren't thirsty. He knows you're dehydrated.

If you're hungry now, he'll make you a meal, but he's not opposed to waiting. He makes you what you like the most, whether that's from that restaurant you like or just Kraft mac n' cheese.

nsfw:

He knows what he's doing and he already has everything set up. He's cleaning you up with a warm towel before you can even catch your breath. He doesn't want you to get an infection, after all.

Usually spitting praises and compliments to you.

Often suggests a bath together - even though he can't fit in the tub at all.

Toby

sfw

Now is the perfect time for adventure. Wants to go on a night walk.

Just wants to go out and do things with you alone in nature - pretend to not exist to the rest of society with you.

You'll walk down the empty 2 am street and just talk about whatever's on your mind. Sit on the swings at the park and kick rocks enjoying each other's company.

nsfw:

His aftercare is horny.

He'll still be touching you in ways, or still be inside of you.

He's a biter and finds himself still giving little nibbles to your neck, but when he finally stops, he catches himself running his fingers over the love bites.

It's all fervent and reckless, but not neglectful. I don't really know how else to describe it like that. Toby loves like a teenage boy loves his first girl friend - unabashed and adventurous - even though he's an adult now.

Jeff

sfw:

He's a rock. Your rock, but still a rock. I don't imagine it's easy to get him all empathetic, but he's still there for your struggles.

Encourages more of an activity - cooking a meal together, smoking, whatever it may be.

nsfw:

I'll be honest, I think sex with him is very primal and animalistic. He's not too keen on you cleaning yourself up immediately after, so if you're cuddling he'll try to convince you to sit in it.

Obviously he won't force you, he just thinks it's hot when you get physically exerted over something. It plays into this dynamic of sneaky, taboo sex where you get off and then go along with your day pretending nothing happened. Might not be there emotionally, but again - he'll ask if you want to go out and do something.

Liu

sfw:

He definitely feels with you the most. Whatever emotions you're going through, he parrots them very easily.

A back rubber. Just constantly running his fingers over your back in gentle caresses. Wipes your tears gently, if you have any. Pokes your cheeks when you smile.

nsfw:

In regards to sex, Liu always makes you a cup of tea after. He's narrowed down your preferences (but I always like to think he'd give you unsweetened peppermint tea - unless you don't like it).

Prefers silent cuddles after sex. Usually this lasts for about half an hour (unless it's right before bed.)

Nina

sfw:

You probably fell asleep while watching movies or something. The movie is still playing when you wake up.

A moment for self-care and pampering. Pedicures, facials, and backrubs. Real stereotypical "girl" stuff - even if you aren't a girl. She wants the sleepover experience with you.

nsfw:

I imagine her aftercare for sex is very similar.

She doesn't want you to dress, but if you do, she insists you wear a cute matching robe with her and fuzzy slippers.

Lots of pillow talk - she really isn't content with just being quiet and cuddling.

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Bateman Begins Part 43

Previous Part | Masterlist | Next Part

Notes: I’m aiming to have 2-3 more chapters before wrapping this up.

Pairing: Nathan Bateman x Reader

Rating: M

"You're late."

You are. That had not been the plan.

In fact, for most of the evening, nothing has gone to plan.

The modulator had been such a finicky little fucker to get right.

You had spent so much time fiddling with it to nail Nathan's pitch and timbre.

His tone and pace, that was down to you to get right.

The kevlar had also been more difficult to manipulate than you'd anticipated.

It's lighter and more flexible, just like you wanted, but conforming it to your body and needs is so foreign to you.

And after all of the time that you had taken to get the voice box right—

It doesn't matter.

You're finally there, hugging to the shadows as you eye. Commissioner Jim Gordon standing at the other end of the roof.

You've seen him on the news all day, and you'd had some inkling that Nathan was working with the cops while you'd both been in Gotham.

"I've got questions," Gordon takes a step closer, and it's a fight not to just turn and run.

Instead you tip your chin up, the night splitting with Nathan's voice: "I came here for answers. You said your information was too sensitive to send."

"Where the hell have you been?"

And isn't that the million dollar question.

"Busy."

"Look, I know we don't exactly have a solid relationship, but you can't just disappear on me like that, man. We've been drowning without you out there."

"...Information," You reiterate. "Who, where, what. Details."

Gordon shakes his head, huffing.

"You've seen this clown shit?"

"Here and there."

"Well, it's all over the fucking place."

"You said you had a lead."

"The name Jack White mean anything to you?"

Not a damn thing.

Gordon's eyes narrow at your silence before he fishes into his pocket, drawing out a USB stick.

He holds it out, and waits.

But you don't dare get any closer, not as you are. Not like this.

"...Look, I don't know what the fuck is going on with you," Gordon says after a moment, "Or with Bateman. The department's up my ass about it. Once we clear up this clown gang, if he hasn't resurfaced and if you don't volunteer that information...It's not looking good for you."

"Nothing to volunteer."

"Why were you at his manor, then?"

"...Had a tip."

"About what?"

"Can't say."

"Christ," Gordon hisses. "I thought you were a shit before. What's crawled up your ass?"

"Give me the information. I do my job, you do yours."

Gordon huffs a flat laugh, tossing the stick just enough for you to catch it.

"I'll see what I can find," You add.

"Work fast, and keep your head down. Anyone in the department catches you with that information, it's both of us on the line."

"I understand."

--

You shouldn't have taken it.

You stare at the USB drive, damning yourself as the screens flicker in front of you.

You can't look into this.

Your thing is the tech, Nathan's thing is the digging.

At least, it was until Vicki sunk her claws into—

No, no. Not now.

You know that Nathan has access to a vast array of information.

You won't go after the guy, you can just...Give Gordon some insight on his leads to get him off your back.

And then you can dig back into whatever the hell happened to Nathan.

You heave in a deep breath, straightening up with a groan.

Getting home had been hell.

You'd doubled back to make sure Gordon wasn't following you. It had taken you four times as long to get back to the mansion.

It's nearly three in the morning, and you don't have Nathan's stamina.

Alright.

You'll take a short nap, have a snack, and then get going on this.

--

"Activity report, Master Bateman."

Nathan doesn't answer right away.

It's been like this for the last week and a half—Alfred running at half-power, focusing on security tasks as Nathan tries to identify the faulty wiring that's causing the facility to lock down.

He's been running as his own skeleton crew, working at half-speed and half-power as he tries to pinpoint the problem.

Whatever it is, wherever it is, it's giving him a helluva runaround.

Every time he thinks he's got it nailed, something else rears its ugly fucking head.

And with Alfred running at diminished capacity, Nathan has narrowed his task focuses mean—namely activity reports for the properties connected to his systems.

"Go on," Nathan waves a hand before returning both to the keyboard.

"Facility occupants: two."

"Technically one," Nathan mutters.

"I take umbridge with that. Manor occupants—"

"None, I know, move on—"

"One—"

"What?" Nathan twists in his chair, brow furrowing deeply. "The fuck do you mean, one occupant in the Manor?"

"Entry, exit, kitchen, and Blue Room sensors have been triggered repeatedly."

It can't just be the police, there's no way they'd start sniffing around there after so many weeks, let alone take up residence.

It could be a wild animal that's gotten in, is enjoying having the run of the place.

"Cave sensors?"

"Triggered."

His stomach swoops.

"Why the hell didn't you start with that? How many times?"

"Nine times in the last forty-eight hours."

Nathan twists back to his laptop, minimizing his work.

"Is that the only activity for the cave?" He asks.

"The sensors have been triggered routinely for the last week."

Nathan's hands curl and flex over his keyboard, fingers beginning to tingle with nerves.

Vicki had been on his trail when he left town, but he didn't think that she'd gotten that close.

Could she have found the cave, worked out how to get in?

And if it is her, what the fuck is she doing, going down there, over and over? Taking photos? Collecting evidence?

Nathan hisses a curse as he receives an error message for the cameras at the Manor.

Son of a bitch—it can't be that the power had been shut down, or off.

If that was the case, the sensors wouldn't be working.

He considers for a few moments, eyes searching the error screen.

"Alfred."

"Sir."

"How many times have the sensors in the Blue Room been triggered?"

"In the last forty-eight hours?"

"In the last week."

"Fifty-three, sir."

Nathan's mind zips to a place it shouldn't go.

You're in Metropolis. You're in a shitty apartent with your grass-green avocados and stubbornness.

Even if you are back in Gotham...No.

Nathan shakes his head, swallowing thickly.

He's been toying with the idea of a return, first as Batman, and then as himself—an ease back into public life coupled with an excuse that things had gotten too chaotic, that he didn't plan his little break to cause such a stir.

But if someone is in his Manor, sniffing around the cave, poking around his truths—

Hell.

Nathan is going to have to get back to Gotham—the sooner, the better.

Tag list: @blueeyesatnight ; @massivecolorspygiant ; @foxilayde @danniburg ; @brandyllyn ;

@missredherring ; @the-feckless-wonder ; @ew-erin ; @xocalliexo ; @youngkenobilove ;

@chattychell ; @lorecraft  ; @thembosapphicclown ; @kmc1989

[lnsfawwi]

bucky is anti-peggy: their relationships with steve and why bucky will always overshadow peggy as love interest

hardly anything novel but I have to get it out of my system. interpretations are strictly in-universe just to be fair. also seb headcanons are canon, I won't hear otherwise!

the difference between stucky and steggy can be summed up by their respective reactions to beefed-up Steve. someone on tumblr points out that these two scenes also serve as analogies of their relationships. steggy would always be about peggy reaching out, their relationship would be under the spotlight, be the center of attention while stucky is the reverse. I just want to add to that.

Peggy was literally dazzled, she tried to touch his naked body, she was eager to see what this body could do (sexually, among other things). that's the first time she saw steve as sexually attractive, the first time she saw steve at all if we are honest, and what she saw was this jacked-up version of him, an icon-to-be, someone whom steve never really accepted as himself. In essence, the first time she really paid attention to steve as the love interest, was the moment steve became someone else.

Bucky, who was tortured for days, if not weeks, still delirious, was confused bc that was not his steve, he probably didn't even think Steve was real at first. Bucky was experimented on, he likely knew there were similar human experiments aimed to enhance, he knew science like that was possible, but whose science? so that's the first question, 'what happened?' Steve joined the army, okay, so this was not forced onto him, probably. then the next thing he asked was, 'did it hurt?' he didn't care how strong it made Steve, he only wanted assurance that Steve was fine. like, what if the process hurt? what could bucky possibly do? nothing. it's not about whether it hurt, it was just bucky simply giving a shit about steve's wellbeing. we don't even need to get into the 'little kid from brooklyn' line.

peggy witnessed a magical transformation and was amazed by the eventual product but bucky saw his best friend who must've gotten through something excruciating. peggy could never fall in love with skinny steve when that's all bucky saw, until the very end (sebastian said bucky probably never got used to big steve).

another contrast would be the final plane crash. sebastian was asked whether Bucky would've gotten on that plane with Steve or stayed behind like Peggy. seb's answer is that Bucky would've tried to get on that plane cuz he felt responsible for steve, and he'd fall again.

the thing is that, had Bucky been on that plane, Steve never would've crashed it. he would've done anything to save Bucky. he didn't have to crash that plane which was canon (pointed out by rhodey). steve could've got out but he didn't. Bucky being there would've given him the motivation to do so. any other person would tbh, but only Bucky would be willing to be on that plane bc Peggy canonly wasn't. in addition to bucky's willingness to follow steve literally into the jaws of death, in this hypothetical scenario, Bucky would be the reason for Steve to live in catfa.

that leads to yet another contrast.

'just go! get out of here!' 'no, not without you!'

steve, who had no idea what he was capable of, jumped through fire for bucky.

'don't do this, there's still time, let me find a way...' 'a lot of people are gonna die if I don't do this, peggy. this's my choice.'

despite peggy's pleading, steve crashed the plane.

the word choice appeared several times in catfa. the first time was when peggy told philip that it was steve's choice (to die trying to save bucky). the second time was when peggy told steve that bucky made a choice (to die fighting with him). and the third time was when steve told peggy it was his choice (to sacrifice himself). it's no coincidence that each and every time the choice was each other, steve echoing the word at the end made it clear that he was doing this for bucky.

a relationship goes both ways. steve and bucky are canonly willing to, and did, die and live for each other. peggy simply doesn't have that level of impact on steve. in fact, steve literally repeatedly chose bucky over her in catfa.

put it simply, bucky and steve care more about each other than themselves, peggy didn't even care about skinny steve in that sense. she also literally couldn't because she only met skinny steve twice. briefly.

plus as I said previously bucky is the only one standing in between a traditional cishet hypermasculine image of steve and the real steve, peggy is the one element that fulfils the false image.

everything bucky is, peggy is the opposite. the differences quite literally result in different interpretations of steve. and who can say honestly that endgame steve is better than cap trilogy steve？

[cleverstudentcheesecake]

Since I either consider Shen Yuan to be reincarnated Shen Jiu or Shen Jiu's brother/twin/son, I hate it when people describe him to be awkward, spineless, dumb, poor, broke or unattractive in the modern world. In the SVSSS world, in fannon he is often characterised to be too easy, trusting, damsel-in-distress who is easy to manipulate.

Let me tell you, a reincarnated Shen Jiu or Shen Jiu's close kin would never be any of the above. Even if we consider him to have absolutely no relation with Shen Jiu, he can never be any of the above.

Now let's be realistic why.

Poor, broke and unattractive?

Shen Yuan is clearly stated to be a 'Second-generation rich kid'.

This is the definition of 'Second-generation rich kid' given in the extra notes of book 1:

SECOND-GENERATION RICH KID: A child of a wealthy family who grows up with a large inheritance. “Second-generation” in this case refers to them being the younger generation (as opposed to their parents, who are the first generation) rather than immigrant status.

Have you ever seen rich Chinese kids or heard about the term 'Crazy Rich Asians'?

Do you know what their lifestyle, fashion senses, academic profiles and extracurriculars are like?

Iykyk...

According to me Shen Yuan in modern world used to be that absolutely breath taking, elegant, overachieving kid who grew up reading the hardest of litetary works and then proceeded to burn himself out in University.

He must have known how to play atleast 2 musical instruments and have been well versed in multiple languages. He was also a chess genius as well as a great networker with his silver tongue and natural knack for flattery. He had been privately tutored for everything above.

If you ever found Shen Yuan outside his house, you would find his spine to be pin straight, without a hair out of place and effortlessly dressed to kill.

I believe when he was reading PIDW he was taking a break after both his mental and physical conditions declined due to social, academic and familial pressures.

He was good at everything but never as good as his elder brothers. He used to be a prime example of 'Jack of all trade, Master of none'.

He had no ambition of his own after being overshadowed by his brothers who were also physically more fit than him, all his life. He was existing until one day it all came breaking in.

Why did the length of the break even matter when he would still have a huge trust fund even if he achieves nothing in life? He just had to make sure to not do anything shameful that could have possibly harmed his family's reputation. The trust funds were sufficient to sustain his introverted ass for a lifetime.

So, he became a shut in.

He was always a closet otaku but now he could completely indulge himself in his otaku tendencies.

He went and read every trashy web novel that ever existed until he found his 'The Read'.

From the comfort of his home and behind the screen he could be his true gremlin self (someone who could completely tear down your confidence down with his verbal attacks without a huff).

He no longer needed his silver tongue to appease people, he could laze around all day aimlessly and shit talk essays on the web novels' comment sections.

The rest is history...

Why do you think he was inherently adept to pretending in the SVSSS world? Why was it so effortless for him to pretend to be an extraordinary immortal scholar? — because all his life he had been pretending.

If he was awkward he wouldn't have been able to collect potential suitors like pokemons.

He is polite, endearing and a flatterer but never awkward.

Excuse me if he was easy to manipulate and too trusting, he would have never escaped Zhuzhi Lang.

Spineless you say?

Prove it that he won't castrate a person then and there if they even try to look the wrong way at his disciples?

Assure me that if had gone through the same circumstances as Shen Jiu, he wouldn't have turned out exactly like Shen Jiu?

Tell me that Shen Yuan isn't capable of pulling a Nie Huaisang if his Jiu-ge is skillfully murdered in front of him?

A damsel-in-distress, tell me he isn't capable of fighting and standing up for himself.

How can he ever be dumb?

His aimlessness and laziness doesn't account for his lack of intelligence. I agree that he may not be much emotionally adept but he is book smart and quick on his feet.

Sometimes, his obvious denial of affection makes me feel that they don't actually stem from being in a Villain's body or obliviousness, but rather from his own self-doubt and hatred.

He purposefully denies what is right in front of him which makes him biased and an unreliable narrator. He sees himself as an unkind person throughout the story but we all know the truth.

He also considers himself old and unlovable but we know he is a pretty bitch who everyone has a crush on.

Believe me Tsundere Shen Yuan needed a Yandere Binghe in his life so he could realise that there exists someone who loves, trusts and believes him unconditionally. All his life he had lived feeling useless, he needed someone who wants him desperately and also makes him feel wanted.

We say Shen Yuan helped Binghe, trust me Binghe did the same for Shen Yuan. Binghe fixed something in Shen Yuan that he never realised was broken. They are co-dependent freaks who absolutely deserve each other.

[thebluemallet]

My Favorite Portia Featherington Moments

Throughout all three seasons of Bridgerton, Portia Featherington has been a complicated character. On the surface, she's completely unlikeable. She treats Penelope poorly. Her fashion sense is excessively gaudy. And she seems either unaware or willfully ignorant of the social faux pas she makes from day to day.

But she is also a survivor who was dealt a shit hand in life with her useless husband. And she did what she had to do to ensure the safety and well-being of her daughters in desperate times. So here are a few of my favorite Portia moments.

10- Showing Marina What Her Future Holds

When Portia finds out that Marina is pregnant, her first instinct is to protect her girls and her family's reputation. She wants to send Marina away and back to the country but she can't because of her useless husband's dealings. George hasn't answered Marina's letter telling him about her condition. Without knowing that George's fate has already been sealed, Marina's insistence that George will come for her seems naive--especially to Portia.

When Marina refuses to even entertain the idea of being married off quickly to an older man in need of an heir who won't ask too many questions, Portia, like the Ghost of Christmas Future, shows Marina what her life will be if she continues to hold out for George.

It's a much-needed wake-up call but it does not work on Marina. The forged letter may have seemed cruel at the time, but if I were in Portia's shoes, I would have assumed the worst of George, too.

9- Confronting Her Husband

When Lord Featherington puts a premature end to the courtship between Albion Finch and his middle daughter Philippa, Portia is outraged. A man has taken an interest in one of their daughters, seems besotted with her, and wants to marry her. What possible objections could there be?

When she tries to press him for answers in public, Lord Featherington uses his position as a man and a husband to silence her. But when Portia uncovers that he has gambled away all of their money--including their daughters' dowries--her husband is revealed for the sniveling coward that he is. Outside of the eyes of society, he is a weak man who can't curtail his vices even for the well-being and future of his family.

They may not like each other, but even Portia wasn't expecting this level of betrayal from her husband.

Cry those crocodile tears, Archibald! I don't feel sorry for you whatsoever. I'm Team Portia on this one.

8- "You find things to love, my dear."

Even a blind man could tell that Portia and Archibald were not a love match. She married him for security and he failed to even provide that. But she managed to find silver linings in the many clouds of her marriage.

Her talk with Marina in the final episode of season 1 gives the audience more insight into the kind of woman Portia is and how strong she had to be to endure her marriage with her late husband for so long. It's the kindest and most motherly we've seen her be all season. And her talk gives Marina the final push she needs to do what needs to be done to protect her babies.

Portia, as we'll see, is better off without her deadbeat husband. She has more strength than she gave herself credit for in this scene. And she has the three best things her husband gave her by her side.

7- "I am a MOTHER."

After the death of Archibald, the Featherington women are in financial stasis until the new Lord Featherington finally shows up. When Cousin Jack finally arrives some things are starting to look up. But he is making some questionable decisions right off the bat.

Portia is, once again, at the mercy of a Featherington man who makes piss-poor financial decisions when Cousin Jack comes into the picture.

She navigates the situation as best as she can, even getting into his fraudulent gemstone scheme when she's backed into a corner with no way out. Desperate times, desperate measures.

After Colin uncovers the scheme and Cousin Jack proposes not only running away from the country, but even leaving Prudence and Penelope behind and sending for them later, Portia has had enough. If you think this woman would ever seriously consider abandoning her daughters to save her own skin, then you don't know her at all.

Portia doesn't always make the right decisions. Portia doesn't always say the right things. Portia is far from a perfect mother. But she'll ALWAYS choose her daughters over mediocre men who only care for themselves, and for that, I'll love her forever for showing Cousin Jack the door.

6- Sex-Ed With Philippa and Prudence

The moment Philippa said that she and Albion were "very passionate" I KNEW that we were in for some comedic gold.

And I was RIGHT.

At first, Portia thinks her biggest problem with the Featherington Heir Race is Prudence. But at least she can relate to Prudence's problem of not enjoying the marital act. Poor Portia's not even aware that it can be enjoyable for both parties.

But to her horror, BOTH of her married daughters are the problem. Prudence isn't having sex because she doesn't like it and Philippa isn't having sex because she has no idea what it is.

You can see the wheels turning in both Prudence's and Portia's heads when Philippa asks that infamous question.

If Lady Featherington went home that night and screamed into her pillows, I wouldn't blame her.

5- Chaperoning Polin

Portia's finally realized that she's been a little lax with chaperoning Penelope over the years. No matter, she'll make up for it now and chaperone her daughter when her fiancee comes for a visit!

Colin and Penelope are just not used to having a chaperone and they have no idea how to conduct themselves with one in the room. Colin looks downright annoyed every time he sees Portia out of the corner of his eye. Penelope's staring at his lips the whole time and probably wants Colin to compromise her again right there on the window seat.

But the real comedy of this scene is knowing that Penelope is already pregnant. So the chaperoning was too little, too late.

4- Finally Bonding With Violet

For most of the series, Portia and Violet have gotten along like oil and water. They're not great friends like Penelope, Colin, and Eloise. They don't hang out at social events. Portia is envious of the Bridgertons and their social clout. Violet barely tolerates Portia on a good day. And as much as Violet loves Penelope, you can tell in 3x05 and 3x06 that she's not looking forward to having Portia as an in-law.

But when Colin and Penelope are on the outs just before their wedding, the two mothers have finally found some common ground.

3- Handling Lady Whistledown

I was not expecting Cressida to actually tell Portia that Penelope was Lady Whistledown. I thought she'd make a vague comment that Penelope would have to play off as nothing and then she would work with Colin and Eloise to overcome the Cressida threat.

But no, Cressida really tells Portia.

The threat of Cressida's blackmail hanging over her daughter's head and what this could mean for the Polin marriage is enough for Portia's protective mother instincts to kick in and she teams up with Colin and Eloise to find a solution and protect Penelope.

And she gets extra brownie points from me because one of her first reactions to learning about Whistledown is to point out that Penelope was the one to write horrible things about herself. ("The things you wrote! About your family! About yourself!")

Yes, Portia's angry about Penelope's secret and what she's done as Whistledown, but she puts that anger on the back burner for a short time while she tries to navigate her family through their latest crisis. To paraphrase what she said to Cousin Jack at the end of last season: she and Penelope are on the same team.

2- Portia and Penelope Finally Talk

Portia might have put her anger to the side when she found out about Whistledown, but it returns when Penelope finds out that Portia kept the money Cousin Jack had embezzled from the ton.

Portia and Penelope finally have it out and mother and daughter realize that they are more alike than they had previously realized or were even willing to admit.

1- Portia as a Grandmother

Portia started out the season anxious that none of her daughters would have a son and secure their family's future. By the end of the season, she's a grandmother to two granddaughters and one grandson--the new Lord Featherington. Her family's future is finally secure at last.

Now that she has her grandchildren, Portia will finally be able to relax a little. It must have been hard being in survival mode for so long. Now she can enjoy her life and watch all three of her daughters have marriages filled with love and happiness.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Heart's Desire

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

Synopsis: You have the difficult task of telling your parents that you're moving to Atlanta with Jack and Urban and it becomes clear to you the desire to prove to them that you're making the right choice

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader (baby Jack and baby FL)

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

The television was on a low volume as you and Jack were laying down in the bedroom with his arms wrapped around you as your head rested on his chest with him stealing kisses from you every few minutes.

It had been a long day of packing up your apartment to anticipate the move to Atlanta since Jack had gotten signed to Generation Now. The goal was for the two of you as well as Urban to move in the next three weeks. Some of your things had already been taken to your apartment in Atlanta in the hopes that you all wouldn't have to move so much at one time. There was just one problem.

The fact that you hadn't told your parents yet and Jack had no idea.

“Babe, you have to show me all your favorite spots once we get to Atlanta. Are you excited?” Jack asked as he looked down at you.

“Yes and I definitely will. Louisville has grown on me but I missed it so much. So I'm happy to be moving back.”

“We'll leave around 6 am or maybe earlier so I guess we can see our parents the day before. What did they say when you told them?”

“Umm, about that….” You started to say and then trailed off.

“What's wrong?” Jack asked as he played with the ends of your curly hair.

“I still haven't told them.” You mumbled into Jack’s chest and he couldn't make out what you had said.

“What was that? You have to speak up, baby.”

“I still haven't told them.” You said louder and Jack looked at you in disbelief.

“BABY! We are literally leaving in a matter of weeks. So, they're just going to come over one day to see our apartment empty and us missing?”

“I know! I know it's bad! But…. I just have a bad feeling.”

“About what? Us moving?” He asked, trying to get more information out of you.

“No, telling them about it. My mom really more so than my dad. I feel like he would be fine with it. She won't be.”

“Why do you think that?”

“I… it's just a feeling that I have. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I know that she's not about to take it well.”

“But you need to tell them as soon as possible. You're technically an adult so it's not like they can really tell you no that you can't go and you're married, but they don't know that part yet.”

“And they're definitely not going to find out until we want them to know.” You replied while sitting up.

“Sooo, when are we doing this? Preferably sooner rather than later.” Jack asked as he sat up with you and rubbed your back.

“Tomorrow I guess. Just drop me off and if it goes to shit, I'm walking across the street to Maggie and Brian.”

“I don't think you're giving your mom enough credit.”

“Maybe you're right but we just have to wait and see. I want to be wrong about this whole thing, truly I do. But I don't know.”

“In the meantime, you need to get some sleep. Come here.” Jack said as he opened his arms so you could lay back down on his chest. He reached over to turn off the lamp that was perched on the bedside table while you grabbed the remote to turn off the tv.

“Baby?” You said after a few minutes of you two laying in silence.

“Hmm?”

“Your entire life is about to change.” You answered as you traced his features with your pointer finger.

“Correction. Our entire lives are about to change. You know wherever I go that you're coming with me. We're a package deal and we really are now that we have rings on our fingers.”

“I know I tell you this all the time, but I am so proud of you. I knew all of your hard work was going to pay off. Even when you didn't believe it yourself and at one point wanted to give up.”

“But I knew better because you wouldn't let me.”

“Because I knew how important this was to you and what it would mean when it actually happened.”

“If I'm honest, I'm actually nervous as hell.”

“Why?”

“I just want everything to play out how it's supposed to. I mean you hear stories of the industry and what can happen. If this doesn't work out what the hell am I going to do? I literally won't be able to support the both of us.” Jack confessed as his worries were now coming up to the surface.

“Okay, stop. You're making yourself upset. First off, we're not thinking like that because it will work out. They obviously see how talented you are and see your potential just like I do. It's going to work out and then we can look back and see that there was absolutely nothing for you to worry about. However, if the worst comes to worst and we come back here as long as I'm with you, we're going to make it work.”

“You really love me, huh?” Jack asked as he cuddled you closer to him and leaned down to kiss you.

“More than you could ever imagine. You mean the world to me and I will always be here for you.”

“Well the feeling is mutual.”

“There's just one thing that's going to suck when we do move.”

“What's that, babe?”

“Now we really can't wear our rings. I mean we barely wear them now, but it's going to be close to nonexistent. They have to market you to appeal to a certain audience and are going to push the single narrative.”

“Well they can forget that. You are my top priority and they'll just have to deal with it.”

“I know.” You said while laughing. One thing that Jack didn't play about was you and your well being. Wherever he went, you were going too.

“Okay, last thing and then we really need to go to sleep.”

“What's wrong pookie?”

“I'm going to headline Forecastle.”

“I'll do you one better. One day you're going to be headlining your own festival.”

“You really think so?”

“We've made it this far, right? So what's one more thing?”

It was 11 in the morning when you and Jack were sitting in his car outside your parents house. It was the fact that you had gotten there at 10:30 and still hadn't quite made your way inside. Jack was probably on his fifth pep talk at this point, but he didn't mind if it was going to help you feel better. He planned on dropping you off and coming back whenever he finished what he had to do.

“Baby girl, I'm not trying to rush you but…”

“I know. I'm going.” You said as you were fidgeting.

“Baby, you have said that for the past thirty minutes.” Jack quietly said while looking over at you.

“You're going to throw me to the wolves.”

“Baby, those are your parents that YOU lied to. Not me.”

All you did was sigh before responding to him.

“Promise to get lunch afterwards? If this goes to shit?”

“Of course sweetheart. Anything you want. But, you need to take off your ring. And if it doesn't take me too long, I'll just get pizza and bring it back here.”

You glanced down to see that you had forgotten to take it off before coming here and quickly slipped it off and handed it to Jack for safe keeping.

You sighed and Jack quickly cupped your face in his hands and gave you several kisses after putting your ring in a safe place.

“Whatever happens, it's you and me forever alright?”

You nodded your head as Jack kissed your nose and pinched your cheek making you laugh.

“Okay, here goes.”

Once inside, you were sitting across from your parents and they were waiting for an explanation from you ever since you said that you had something to tell them. When you had first gotten there, you made brownies with your mom as you all sat around the kitchen catching up. An hour and a half had passed and you figured that it was time to get it over with.

“Okay, Lil Bit, where's the fire?” Your dad asked as he laughed and you were looking everywhere but their eyes.

“Umm…”

“Baby girl, what's wrong?” Your mom asked and that was when you blurted it out, ripping off the bandaid.

Because it was either now or never.

“I'm moving back to Atlanta with Jack and Urban is coming with us.”

At that moment, Jack walked in the front door holding three pizzas and stopped in his tracks when he noticed that all eyes were on him and had a feeling that you had just told them.

“Umm, I'll put these in the kitchen.”

Your parents were quiet for a few minutes, but your dad was the first to speak as Jack came back and sat next to you.

“When?”

“In like a few weeks.”

“A heads up more than a few weeks before this was supposed to happen would have been nice.” Your dad told you as he looked confused.

“That's what I told her.” Jack quietly said and you eyed him.

“Wait, what are you two going to do to make money? And where are you going to live?” Your mom asked the both of you.

“I know, but I was nervous to tell you.”

“I already have a job lined up for when we get there. It's at Chick-fil-A.” Jack proudly said, but it didn't look like your parents were pleased.

“And how are both of you supposed to survive off of that? And wait, how did you even get approved for an apartment? Neither of you have credit.”

“Well Aunt Keisha signed for us since she knows the landlord of the apartment building.” You explained, but it looked like your parents were getting more pissed by the second.

“She what!?”

“Well you asked us what our plan was and we told you!”

All Jack did was look back and forth between you and your parents.

“Mom, Jack got signed to Generation Now. This is huge for him and I'm going to be supportive of this.”

“Being there is what got Danielle wrapped up in whatever she was doing and…”

“I'm not her so why compare me? It's not like I'll be there by myself. We have plenty of family there to look out for us.” She would tend to bring up Dani's past but would never go into details so you had no clue what she was referring to.

“That isn't the point, Y/N!”

“Why are you so against this?” You asked her and she took a deep breath before responding.

“Let's be serious for a second. Jack got signed, okay fine. But that does not guarantee anything. Jack, no offense.”

“Um, none taken.” Jack quietly said as he took your hand in order to try to get you to remain calm.

“Your college fund is literally just sitting there.”

“I'm not going! We already talked about this. Why don't you just give it to me so I can be able to pay for things when we move?”

“For you to blow through it and then come back begging for more when things don't work out?”

“Ivy….” Your dad started to say but all she could focus on was what you were telling her.

“Do you not have any confidence in me? That isn't going to happen. I write songs and produce music so it's not like I won't be doing anything.”

“And you know how the music industry is. I just want to protect you! And if it doesn't work out, what's the back up plan?”

“I am now an adult and I can make my own decisions. No matter what you say, I'm doing this. But, I would rather do it with you being supportive of me. And I haven't got a back up plan because this is going to work.”

All your mom did was scoff before letting out a sarcastic laugh.

It was at that moment that tears started to prick the corners of your eyes.

“You don't think we can do this, do you?”

“Hmm. It clearly doesn't matter what I think because your mind is made up, so there's nothing left for me to say. Jack please know that this isn't anything against you.” Your mom said as she got up from the couch.

“Wait, mom? Where are you going?” You asked as you lowkey started to panic.

“Have fun in Atlanta.”

“Mommy, I….”

“Like I said, have fun in Atlanta.”

Once she was out of earshot, your dad made his way over to you and brought you and Jack into a hug.

“Just give her some time. She'll come around. Make sure you two send me the address of the apartment and all the details. I know how important you are to each other so there was no talking you out of this. Even if I don't like the idea very much.”

“She's mad at me.”

“She's not. Reality is hitting her that her youngest is growing up and she doesn't quite know how to process all of it. But whatever you need, we'll give it to you without a second thought. And Jack, you better take care of my baby girl. I know you will, but I still have to threaten you.” Your dad said and let out a small laugh afterwards.

“You know I will and that she's not going to want for anything.”

Your dad nodded his head and when he glanced down at Jack’s left hand, he noticed that he was wearing a wedding band, and simply smiled to himself.

Deep down, he already had a feeling but wasn't going to say anything until you two did and made sure to keep this small observation to himself.

He figured that the two of you had been through enough with everything that had just happened.

Once everything was settled, you, your dad, and Jack sat around the kitchen and ate pizza while explaining your plans about what you two were going to do first when you got settled in Atlanta. Soon, it was around 3 in the afternoon and you two decided to see if Jack’s parents were home and knew that only Maggie's snickerdoodles were probably the only thing that could fix how you were feeling at the moment.

After saying goodbye to your dad, you and Jack went across the street when you saw that Maggie's car was in the driveway and knocked on the door because Jack had mysteriously lost his key again. Once she opened it and saw the look on your face, she moved to the side to let you in and all of you went and sat in the kitchen.

She poured both of you a glass of strawberry lemonade and sat a plate piled high with snickerdoodles in front of you and Jack and you slowly began eating as she asked you what was wrong since neither of you had said anything.

“Why are the two of you looking like that?” She asked, but all you did was stuff another cookie in your mouth as you waited for Jack to answer for the both of you.

“Umm, Y/N's mom isn't really happy with us moving to Atlanta and she's obviously upset by it.” He answered as he went to grab a cookie from the plate. Your eyes went wide as you noticed him reaching for it with his left hand and quickly grabbed it and put it under the table and Jack looked at you confused.

“Hmm, she just sounds concerned and her feelings are valid. But it's not like you haven't lived there before.”

“She's not confident that I can make a name for myself.” You quietly said and you mouthed ‘take off your ring’ to Jack and his eyes suddenly went wide.

He slipped it in his pocket before going back to the plate to grab a snickerdoodle and was praying that Maggie hadn't noticed.

“She just wants for your future to be secure is what it sounds like. I know that it probably hurt to hear her say those things but whatever happens, we're all going to support you no matter what.”

“You don't think this is a mistake, do you?”

“I think that sometimes what I want for my children might not be what they desire in their heart to do. My job as a mother includes supporting you, even if I may not like the idea. But good thing that I do. You two are going to be just fine and I know it. I can't hold your hand forever.”

You started to play with the ends of your hair as you thought about what Maggie said and knew that she was probably right. That didn't mean that your feelings still weren't extremely hurt by what was said by your mother, but the best thing to do in the end was to prove her wrong.

Nothing was going to get in your way of making sure Jack became famous and was known all around the world and you wouldn't have to beg your parents for anything.

When the two of you were back in Jack’s car after visiting with Maggie, you let out a sigh before you heard Jack from beside you.

“Do you think she saw the ring?” He asked as he gave it to you to slip it back on his finger and he did the same thing with yours.

“I don't think so. I mean she would have definitely said something if she did.”

“That means I had it on at your parents house too. Fuck!” Jack exclaimed as he laid his head on the steering wheel.

“That wasn't even their focus so don't even worry about it. We have bigger things to deal with babe.” You told him as you rubbed his back in an attempt to comfort him.

“I'm sorry they made you upset. I feel like I pushed you to tell them and now I feel bad about the entire thing.” He told you as he started driving back to your apartment.

“It had to happen sooner or later. And don't feel bad. I shouldn't have waited so long to do it.”

“But now I see why you did.”

“It's all going to work out in the end despite what may have happened.” You told him as you were doing your best to try not to cry.

The person that was always in your corner and was your biggest supporter ever since you could remember basically shot down your dreams and told you that she didn't have an ounce of confidence in you and what you could achieve.

As far as you were concerned nothing else needed to be said between you and your mother. That was the way she felt and you just had to accept it.

“Babe?”

“Hmm?” Jack answered as he turned to look at you while the two of you were sitting at a stop light.

“Why wait to leave in three weeks? Let's leave now.”

“Wait, like now now!?” Jack asked as he looked at you in disbelief.

“The sooner, the better so I can get started on proving her wrong.”

[crusty-chronicles]

BONUS AIRHEADED S/O HEADCANNONS: Zoro (One Piece)

An: I wanna face plant in his tits. 👉👈

---------

Zoro knows you're stupid

He knows

But he'll still take your advice like you actually know what you're talking about

Resulting in it back firing at him 90% of the time

"Hey! Which snakes are poisonous again?" He asked after getting bit by one.

"Red and yellow will kill a fellow. Red and black are friends of Jack." You recite proudly, remembering what Robin thought you.

"Okay, so what does this count as."

He holds up a bright yellow snake.

"Um.... Probably not venomous."

It was indeed venomous and poor Chopper had a heart attack trying to come up with an antidote.

Especially after Zoro kept insisting 'he was fine' and 'he'd tough it out.'

Honesty, he doesn't care if you're stupid most of the time.

Luffy's just as dumb and look at him.

Well, maybe don't. But it doesn't change the fact that he's already following one idiot around.

What's one more?

You leave out food? For the ants??? So they don't get hungry?????

"You're gonna cause an infestation in the kitchen...Wait, never mind. You're doing a good job."

He'll help you put the blame on Ussop just so Sanji can continue to suffer.

"What do you mean you broke the fish tank!?!? Franky's gonna be pissed!"

"That stingray was looking at me funny."

You gesture towards a fish that was not a stingray.

Honestly you give him a headache most days.

But he's too lazy to worry about what you do

As long as you don't rope him in.

He also won't baby you.

Rather, he helps cover up whatever trouble you caused or just laughs off your antics.

Partner in crime, at least until Nami finds out

Then you're officially on your own.

He still loves you tho

Just from a distance 👉👈

You probably came along a little after Thriller Bark.

Joining from the island they were currently resting at because according to Luffy, 'They're really cool.'

Which is never enough reason to join the crew.

But it's not hard to see what he meant when he asked you to 'do the thing' and you tore a tree up from its roots.

Yeah, you can stay

Just don't cause trouble.

He warms up to you after a while.

Namely seeing you interacting with Nami and her actually smiling.

If Nami likes you, then either she was gonna hurt you or you must've been genuinely a good person.

(It's because she'll tell you to do something and unlike their captain, you don't complain.)

You also get on Sanji's nerves, which immediately puts you in his good graces.

There isn't an isolated moment or anything leading up to him falling for you.

He was just watching you mess around with Luffy and Chopper when he realized he liked your laugh.

Then your smile

And when you caught him starting, you waved with an overly excited expression.

Like a puppy

And it makes heat flood to his cheeks, forcing him to turn away.

Zoro is about as romantic as a rock.

There's no way he's going to court you

If you're expecting a date, then I've got some bad news.

However ☝️

Zoro's way of flirting is inviting you to train with him

You're the only one allowed in the Crow's Nest when he's in there.

He's a man who admires strength, what can I say.

Toss him over your shoulder, punch him, hell lift some weights and he's 💗💗💗

It's also a way for him to show off

Slightly flexing to see your reaction. But of course, you're stupid so you don't really notice when he does it.

Tell him he's strong and he'll carry that with him the rest of the day.

If your weapon of choice is also a sword, he's smitten

In the stupid way tho. Like trying to teach you his techniques or critiquing yours.

"You're not doing it right." Is an excuse to correct your form and touch you

If he really loves you, he'll invite you to nap with him.

Sit on his lap or he'll sit on yours. He doesn't give two shits.

Either way, he's tired and wants to cuddle.

Let's you smoosh your face between his boobs if you ask nicely.

Only you 🫵

He'll glare if someone's watching and laughing.

"Yeah? Jealous it's not you?"

Zoro loves fighting with you

He won't hold you back if you want to fight

Not only can you keep up, but you move a little faster than him.

Seeing you sink marines gives him a feeling of pride.

Like, look at you!

That's his S/O!

He'll be excited to see your bounty go up along with his.

NEVER go exploring on an island alone

You two will not be found for days

Somebody who isn't an idiot and has a good sense of direction has to go with you.

It's probably Sanji tbh

Does Zoro get jealous?

He doesn't have the attention span to get jealous

Someone's flirting with you?

Eh, you don't notice it anyway. That person can try but they'll never get anywhere.

You haven't been spending a lot of time with him?

He'll just sleep with the full confidence you'll be back when he wakes up.

He just isn't worried about you losing interest

BUT he'll be damned if that cook comes anywhere near you.

Again, about as romantic as a rock.

He's not gonna be calling you lovey dovey names.

He also finds it embarrassing.

You won't catch him pulling that 'Nami-Swan!' crap.

He'd rather die

But on a very rare occasion where it's just the two of you, he'll call you baby or babe.

Nothing other than that

And he'll deny he ever said it

No confession to be found

He likes you and you seem to like him, so you're his.

Unless you say otherwise, you're dating.

MASTERLIST