#AND I SWEAR I WILL I literally still have a half written chapter in my docs
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cjsees · 6 months ago
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writing hardenshipping again send me strength
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thatfeelinwhenyou · 1 year ago
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HANDS ON YOU — lee heeseung
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IN WHICH; I-LAND 2 happened and you debuted first place as the leader of LUMIÈRE. Having been told that your group is involved in a lore crossover with ENHYPEN, you navigate work, friendship, and love while trying to make it in an industry filled with animosity and condemnation. When life throws you lemons, you gotta make lemonades chuck it right back!
PAIRING: idol!heeseung x idol!fem!reader
GENRE: smau, strangers to lovers, celebrity x celebrity, fluff, don’t let the first part of the smau fool you i swear it’s full on angst towards the end, slowest of the slow burns…
WARNINGS: contains profanities, horrible humour, kys/kms jokes, sexual innuendos, spelling errors, incorrect timestamps, probably some cringe-worthy moments, cyberbullying, racist and misogynistic comments made about reader, death threats, mentions/depictions of overworking, insomnia, eating disorders, not proofread etc. (i am not in anyway romanticising, encouraging or condoning the usage of these topics. purely for the plot and development of the story.)
STATUS: completed! (04/06/2023 – 08/08/2023)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: please read! literally my first attempt at a smau so please don't flame me 💀 i must warn y’all that the timestamps are really all over the place, so DO NOT pay attention to them until stated. the content and depiction of the characters in this smau do not in anyway represent them in real life. chapters with ‘(hw)’ next to them indicates that they are half-written, in case y’all accidentally skip over it! last but not least, if you do end up enjoying it please like, comment (absolutely love reading comments!), and reblog! without further ado, enjoy!!
p.s this was written way before the actual airing of I-LAND 2 and not meant to be connected with the real show/contestants in anyway. this was also before i found out you can actually put more than 10 photos in one post 🤡
TAGS: #tfwy handsonyou
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prologue - introducing LUMIÈRE part 1 | part 2
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profile. one | two
chapter 1 - number 1 hater
chapter 2 - infant
chapter 3 - #prayersformarklee ✊🤞
chapter 4 - dog-eater…? (hw)
chapter 5 - breaking records(?)
chapter 6 - still employed!
chapter 7 - bad publicity is still publicity
chapter 8 - to hee or not to hee
chapter 9 - the heist
chapter 10 - trigger warning
chapter 11 - soompitydimpity
chapter 12 - chronic insomnia
chapter 13 - to hee after all
chapter 14 - wild pokémon heeseungie
chapter 15 - artists
chapter 16 - that should be me
chapter 17 - bills
chapter 18 - the elephant in the room (hw)
chapter 19 - if you let me
chapter 20 - trouble? travel! (hw)
chapter 21 - caught in a lie
chapter 22 - always on your side
chapter 23 - princess syndrome
chapter 24 - you (hw)
chapter 25 - golden thread
chapter 26 - way back home (hw)
chapter 27 - uh oh…
chapter 28 - fight or flight
chapter 29 - close friends
chapter 30 - paradoxx invasion
chapter 31 - ramen
chapter 32 - 080923 (hw)
chapter 33 - driver
chapter 34 - demure and honest
chapter 35 - p-platonic?!?
chapter 36 - friends don’t look at friends that way
chapter 37 - bungeoppang
chapter 38 - back to the way things were..?
chapter 39 - wheel of fortune
chapter 40 - i miss holding your hand (hw)
chapter 41 - sooha (real)
chapter 42 - rizzseung
chapter 43 - project luminescence
chapter 44 - i will go to you like the first snow (hw)
chapter 45 - it’s awfully quiet…
chapter 46 - jake pick me era?
chapter 47 - my life without you is a misery
chapter 48 - your honour, i’m innocent
chapter 49 - breaking my silence
chapter 50 - he’s being exploited!
chapter 51 (finale) - number 1 fan (hw)
epilogue - forever ruined by you
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bonus chapter!
the exes talk
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Copyright© 2023 thatfeelinwhenyou All Rights Reserved
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fxtalitygod · 7 days ago
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EPILOGUE. ~Survival~
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Genre: Historical AU, angst, mature, suggestive, arranged-marriage
Warnings: Dark themes, gore, graphic imagery, theme/depictions of horror, body horror, swearing/language, suggestive, pregnancy mentions, mentions and acts of suicide, arguments, mentions of adult murder, Pet name (Little Flower 1-2x) implied Stockholm Syndrome, grief imagery, images/depictions of dead bodies, murder, character death(s), slight misogynistic themes (if you squint), implied incest mentions
Word Count: 5.9k
A/N: Today marks the day I finish this series. Guys, I cannot believe it took me two years to finish this damned series. Do not get me wrong, I loved writing it, but boy, it was a major pain in my ass. As corny as it sounds, thank you all for sticking with me throughout this series. When I originally posted the first chapter, I did not expect ANY attention whatsoever; it was just a self-indulgent thing I wanted to write because I wanted a better representation of (Y/n) where, yeah, she may not be the strongest. However, she still knows how to make do with what she has and make that her strength. I also wanted to give a more realistic relationship with the pairing. As much as I love Sukuna's character, I did not believe him to be a character capable of "true love" but a character that values others but not in the way you might think. I'm talking literal value, currency value, and benefit value. I wanted a more realistic take on the story because I did not know how many more historical "Kuna," "Suku," or "Kunie" stories I could take. No hate for those who write it or those who enjoy it; it just isn't my personal cup of tea. I like true crime and dark stories (I have this serial killer project that I'm stoked about because I know I will get my group an A+), so I tend to enjoy those darker sides, which I believe is why I like Sukuna's character so much, he just feeds into that side of me. There are some of the fantasies I enjoy where Sukuna is non-canon, such as AUs and all that, but when it comes to JJK's storyline or his historical AUs, I tend to fall short of enjoyment of that type of fantasy.
Anywho, thank you all for sticking around and enjoy the epilogue. I hope it was worth the wait. I may or may not have written three times because my perfectionism kicked in every time I proofread it, and I found something I did not like and scraped half the chapter. I bet I'll find a little thing here and there when I post this. Still, it won't be anything noticeable, something along the lines of my tags and probably my TW, though Im usually very on point with those kinds of things. Still, it always seems that AFTER I make the post, I really start to notice things even after proofreading it 50x.
P.S. I plan to do a behind-the-scenes post on all my original ideas. I have worked on this little project for two years, so you bet I had alternatives. Feel free to send me asks or messages asking me about things you are curious about, and I will gladly answer.
JJK Mlist•Taglist Rules• • Pt.I • Pt. II • Pt. III • Pt. IV • Pt. V • Pt. VI • Pt.VII • Pt. VIII • Pt. IX • Pt. X • Epilogue
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The market was bustling at this time of day. Workers were heading home from a hard day of work, rushing through the roads as they grabbed ingredients and materials for their households to prepare their meals and homes; everything was so normal...and if she were being honest, it felt strange. The confined life of the temple had practically become a comfort, so when presented with a slice of normalcy, it was foreign and, if she were being honest, alarming as well.
Having so much freedom was intimidating and overwhelming– the fear of having something good and it being taken away was a looming thought that brought many anxieties.
Years have passed since that fated day, Sukuna Ryomen's downfall. Since the fire and the slaughter that had immersed, Sukuna's actions had remained silent. There were whispers of sightings and rumors that the curse user had met his demise, but she knew better. Sukuna Ryomen was unkillable, and if anybody had truly caught a glance of him, they would be dead before they could live and tell the tale.
"Mama."
The world seemed to stop as the word processed through her head. Blood ran cold, and breaths of air seemed to come in at a faster rate. The woman turned to the little girl holding her hand, causing her heart to shatter.
"Darling, I told you not to refer to me as your mother, remember?"
The question remained as a statement rather than an inquiry as if refamiliarizing the child with a rule she had been reacquainted with on multiple occasions.
"I-I know that, but why can I not? You care for me like a mother, so why can I not call you my mother?'
"We have discussed this before, child," the woman sighed, "I believe it unfair to be taking the title of your actual mother."
"Well, if my real mother had not given me away, it would not be like this..."
Pausing mid-step, the caretaker held her breath, controlling the emotions and memories that flashed through her mind. The girl's sentence rang through her head, eliciting a feeling she was not commonly met with... aggravation. With no hesitance, the woman's minimal steps turned into longer strides, her grip even firmer on the young girl's hand. Getting to their place of lodging was more vital than anything, as she wanted to avoid discussing such sensitive matters in a public setting. Prying ears were close enough in such a crowded setting.
Upon reaching the home, the stand-in mother pulled the child inside before shutting the door. She swiftly bent down to the young one's level and took the child's shoulders into her hands. The little girl was shocked by the woman's reaction, staying silent and still as if afraid of what was to come next.
"Child, I will not hear you speak such false claims of your mother. You do not know the sacrifices she made to get you here."
The girl's expression of fear shifted from dread to shame. Her face was red from embarrassment after she was caught for her prior statement. However, as children do, she made it her goal to justify herself.
"What is the point of her sacrifice if she left me. Did she not want to be around me?"
"She did not leave you; if she were still in this world, trust me, she would be right here with you!"
The caregiver's words came out with little thought; all she knew was that she would not tolerate the little girl's false assumptions. However, now that the words spilled out of her mouth, she began to regret them. Seeing the tears well up in the girl's eyes made her wish she had phrased it differently.
"What do you mean?"
The caretaker cursed under her breath before inhaling through her nose, exhaling softly before speaking.
"You deserve the truth, my dear, and the truth is that your mother sacrificed her life to ensure you had a good one. She loved you so much that she valued your life more than hers. You might not understand this now, but that is a mother's love." The woman's breath stuttered, "She loved you more than you could ever know. I will not claim the title as your mother for that reason."
The girl was overwhelmed with emotion, only knowing how to express it through tears. The woman could not bear it and brought the girl close to her chest, embracing her to give any form of comfort that might help– it broke her heart to hear the child's quiet sobs.
After calming down, the kid spoke, though with some light chokes.
"W-what s-should I call you then?"
The warden took a sigh as she thought over her charges question. In all honesty, she had no idea what to say. What answer could she even give her? She could not allow her real name to float between the child's tongue as it would expose her identity. What name could she let the child speak?
"Hmm," the woman loosened her embrace, looking the little girl in the eye with a soft smile, "What do you think you should call me?"
The girl tilted her head, wanting more elaboration.
The lady chuckled softly, "What do you think my name should be, child?"
The caregiver had expected the girl to take some time to come up with an answer; however, the kid took no hesitation when she blurted out...
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"Makato-san!"
Silenced engulfed the home as her caregiver failed to respond.
"Makato-san, I'm going to the market. Do you need anything?"
Another prolonged stillness as the young lady waited for a response.
The girl scrunched her brows in concern, extending her neck to look further into the room as if the individual she was looking for would appear. With the growing silence, the young adult searched the home for her guardian.
"Makato-san?"
She searched and examined the silent home with slight panic before finally stumbling upon the older woman, staring blankly at the floor she was kneeling on– unresponsive as she continued to stare.
With caution, Y/n's daughter reached her hand out to her caregiver's, placing it on the woman's shoulder. The response she got was one she had not expected.
The Makato turned suddenly, grabbing onto the young woman's wrist with an ungodly strength that even the girl was unaware of. This caused the girl to wince in pain as she tried to pull her arm away. Her arm was turning a light purple from the lack of circulation, proving the grip's vice.
Despite her fear, the charge could only feel concerned as her caregiver made eye contact, tears welling up in her eyes. It stayed like that for a couple more seconds before she snapped back into reality, gasping as she was presented with the image of her actions, quickly letting go of the young lady's arm.
"I'm so sorry, my Dear. I did not mean to...I was just..." The woman paused, swallowing her following words; however, her stutter did not disappear: "D-D-Did you need something, m-my, Dear?"
"I was preparing to leave and was going to ask if you needed anything from that market," the girl paused, choosing her next words carefully. Makato-san, you've been acting strange as of late. Is everything alright?"
The young woman was old enough to recognize the hesitance in her caretaker's features and the short lack of response.
"Whatever do you mean, Darling?"
"Please do not take me a fool," the youthful female voiced before sighing and looking at Makato in pity, "I'm worried for you, Makato-san. Ever since the refugees from the other village came, you have been behaving irregularly."
The refugees.
To say that their arrival was a shock was an understatement. At first, Makato thought nothing of it until the newcomers began to tell their stories. Their village was burned in a monstrous fire by a "crazed" sorcerer, and their home was now unsustainable to live in as it was left entirely in shambles. Despite this information, Makato thought little of it as there had been few stories of criminal sorcerers destroying homes, most being "inspired" by Sukuna's actions after his sudden hiatus. It was not until an elderly woman, who she happened to hear at random, described the appearance of the sorcerer.
"He was monstrous, the vile thing; he had four arms and two faces if you do not count that horrid mouth on his stomach. I watched both of them grin as it chewed on the remains of my eldest son." the elder choked and sobbed as the memory came back to taunt her.
Makato's heart dropped to her stomach. Rushing home in search of her charge, she found the girl working on her studies. Seeing the child she worked so hard to raise brought relief, but it was not long before the memories and visions began to haunt her. Sometimes, she would see you standing there, looking down at her, motionless and silent, with a pained, pitful look.
She hated it.
When you looked at her that way, she felt weak and vulnerable—as if she were failing. She was not as cool and calculating as you were, nor as confident or intimidating. Had you been here, you would have more than likely been able to disappear from society and find a nice, quiet life for yourself and your daughter. But you were not here; that was the problem– you were just a figment of her imagination.
Even then, she wanted you to stop looking at her that way.
Sometimes, she was left in her privacy and saw your vision appear to accompany her. It would drive her mad as she tried to convince you, even herself, that she was doing enough. She would speak into the silence of the room and get no response.
"What else could you want with me? I am doing everything I can!"
Silence.
"I am happy. She is happy. We are happy. Is that not enough for you?"
Silence.
"He thinks she is dead– he thinks I am dead! There is no possible way that..."
Silence.
"Please, stop looking at me that way. I am capable of doing this...please have faith in me."
"Makato-san?"
Pulling herself from her thoughts, Makato tracked what the girl had said earlier, not wanting to worry about her charge further.
"I apologize for my irregular behavior, my Dear. I can assure you that I am alright. I have had a lot of stress these days regarding the refugees. I want to do my part to assist them, but I have been running myself ragged and am just...tired."
The girl hesitated, not wanting to accept her caretaker's excuse, but she knew pushing the subject would not do her any good, so she nodded in understanding. The worst part is that Makato knew your daughter was aware of her white lie, but she would not admit it for some slim hope that the girl honestly did not know. Sometimes, she wished your daughter had not inherited your intelligence and perception.
"Do you need anything from the market, Makato-san? I plan on leaving soon to aid the refugees."
"No, I believe we have enough supplied for quite a while. All that I ask of you is to be safe, Darling."
Your daughter agreed, letting a soft smile slip onto her face before hugging Makato. The woman accepted the embrace before experiencing a wave of realization. Intelligence and perception were not the only things she inherited from you; she happened to be a real beauty as well.
"My Dear, if you plan on seeing that boy of yours, speak your peace now and know that I only want you to be safe and happy."
The girl struggled to find words before lowering her head in embarrassment, her face bright red with fluster.
"You are of age now, and I want you to know the responsibilities that rest on your shoulders."
"Makato-san, I never meant to keep it a secret. I just...I was afraid of your disapproval."
The more experienced woman could understand where she was coming from. Long ago, she was in the girl's position. However, she was never allowed to pursue her love due to the circumstances of her arrangement, but that does not mean she did not try. Despite her efforts to keep her relationship together, it was all for not in the end. She was given away as a sacrificial lamb to a monster.
Your daughter had a chance of love, and the caregiver would not squander it for her. She wanted your daughter to have a chance at a relationship she never had. Maybe it was questionable on her part due to the circumstances of her mission, but she did not entirely care. She just wanted your daughter to have a normal life.
She knew that was what you had wanted for your child.
"I do not disapprove, Darling. I just want you to be happy and to be careful."
"I promise that I will Makato-san."
There was a pause of awkward silence before the young woman embraced Makato once more.
"Thank you, I'll be back soon."
Makato smiled as she watched her ward leave the home. She had no problem admitting she was happy for the girl, but something deep within her told her it was a bad idea. It was hard for her to come to terms with, but she had an itching feeling that did not settle with her.
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The world was perfect at the moment. Your daughter had put smiles on faces from her charity and was now being rewarded with a proposal for her marriage. She hugged her lover, showing her love and adoration in any way appropriate for their stage in relationship. If you were here, you would be beaming with joy, giving consent to the marriage with no hesitation because this is all you could ever want for your girl, and it would have been all you wanted for your twins.
You never had a chance of love and a happy life; seeing your children be able to pursue their lives to the fullest, especially in romantics, would have been considered a blessing to you.
"This is the happiest day of my life, honestly, but have you received my guardian's blessing?"
The young man chuckled, caressing her cheek reassuringly, "I plan on coming over for dinner tonight to ask for your hand properly if you will have me."
The girl could only agree eagerly through her expressions, unable to speak in fear of shouting instead of politely inviting him. Hugging him one last time before parting to rush home and prepare their meal; however, a chill went up her spine the moment she left; everything felt cold, and she could not explain why. Maybe it was the lack of his embrace, but she had never felt that way. There was only one good reason she could name.
Her nerves were getting the best of her...
"What if Makato-san declines."
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The young woman's moods changed throughout the day as she prepared for the most significant evening of her life. One moment, she had the goofiest, filled with overwhelming joy, but there were other times when she would find herself chewing her nails from anxiety, and right now, she was having one of those times.
"Dear, stop that. This behavior is far from healthy. What has you behaving this way?"
"Nothing, everything is fine. I suppose I'm just hoping dinner will turn out acceptable tonight."
"Dear, please do not insult my intelligence with these excuses. What is going on that you are not telling me?"
"Well, I—" there was a pause. How was the ward supposed to say anything without giving anything away?
"You what? Spit it out, child, you are worrying me."
"I cannot say. I am sorry. But do not worry, please; something good is about to happen. Please trust me on this."
Makato chewed the inside of her cheek. She did trust her ward, but she had this gut feeling, this sickening feeling that she could not name. Maybe it was just her nerves getting the best of her, so she pushed it aside. She trusted your daughter, the only trustworthy person that Makato knew.
"Alright... is there anything you need help with?
The younger one smiled sweetly, taking her caretaker's hands in her own.
"No, I have it handled. You have been so stressed the past few days that you should just relax. Tonight, all your worries will be washed away." With that, she parted to continue her work for the big news. She was all but too excited.
She was also naive.
She was a sweet little girl, but she was naive. To think all of Makato's worries and problems would go away by simply relaxing, through sweet and simple gestures, was an innocent way to think. It was how Makato raised that girl because she wanted that sweet little girl to have that luxury. There were times she wondered if she had made the right choice, but then she would remember what pain looked like and what too much experience could do to a person.
No, she made the right decision. This is what you would have wanted.
Right?
Yes.
Makato went, and she sat as the young woman finished her final preparations for the meal. The girl looked more stressed than ever, rushing at the final threshold, but it seemed that preparations were finished and she was filling time. She found little things to do that held no significance. She was in her head, making Makato question if everything was truly fine.
Then, the footsteps could be heard. He was here, and everything was going to change. Life was going to change, and it was between her and that door. The biggest day of her life was only a dinner conversation away. So she opened the door and was presented with an image she thought she would never see or experience.
"We must leave. The village is under attack, and we do not have much time."
The smell of smoke was strong, and embers could be seen from a not-to0-far distance. The world came crashing down, and she could not say a thing. She could only stand there with an oblivious smile.
"What?"
Fear, confusion, anger, any negative emotion she could feel, she was feeling. This was not how it was supposed to go. She was supposed to get a blessing and marry the man of her dreams. Why now? Why this? This could not be real, there was no way.
If the world had crashed down for your daughter, the heavens collided into the earth, dissipating everything in its path in Makato's eyes. The older woman stood, no thoughts running in her head as she strided to the boy, grabbing him by his garments
"You tell me now, and you tell me true, boy! What did you see?!"
Her sudden actions left him too stunned to speak, but after some shaking and calling for his attention, he found himself capable of a response.
"Makato-san, what is happening?" It was like everything hit her at once, but she was still trying to understand why it was happening today– why it was happening now at the most crucial moment of her life.
"I do not know what it was, but it was a man of stature. He was disfigured; he had two faces and four arms. He came without warning, started flames, and began a massacre. His face was cold, as if he felt absolutely nothing."
There was no doubt in her mind that it was him, no doubt her former husband as reigning terror; however, based on the emotionless state of his ambush, bloodshed was beginning to lose its flavor. It was comical, but as much as it had some humor, this was no joke. This was all too real.
Makato grabbed your daughter's shoulder, pulling her out of her shock. Tears were in her eyes, looking at her caretaker pitifully.
"Makato-san, what is happening?"
She was naive, and being naive was safe, but being naive was also unrealistic. Makato gave the girl a sheltered life, eliminating the possibility of danger to the girl. That was no way to live.
"Your father, that is what is happening."
"What?"
And the shock returned. Makato made an effort to avoid mentioning Sukuna in conversation, only mentioning you in light memory. As far as your daughter was concerned, her father did not exist...until now.
"That so-called man is your father, Ryomen Sukuna. That is the man who drove your mother to eventually kill herself," A pause, licking her lip as she readied herself to elaborate, "Your mother sacrificed herself to protect you from him. He drained the life from her and left her no choice but to die, but she gave it purpose. She died to give you a life, a life away from him."
"I-" Your daughter was at a loss for words. Everything was hitting her too fast.
"I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping it from you. I wanted you to have an everyday life, but I should have noticed sooner or later that the truth would reveal itself and that he would present himself one day."
There was nothing to say, only to exchange expressions of fear and dismay.
"W-Well, what do we do now?"
"We run."
Taking the two charges, Makato grabbed whatever necessities they needed to start a new life. She had been planning this since the day she ran from the temple. She would admit that now, with a third party, it would be more complicated than she had intended, but they would make do.
They exited the home frantic. The smell of smoke became more potent, and the embers were closer than before. The flames became more evident as they spread. Any entrance to the main road would have been a route to death, but Makato had never planned to use that path. There was a back trail through the woods, one she had discovered when your little girl was merely five years of age.
They ran towards the thicket, avoiding as many obstacles as possible. Things were looking smooth, with hardly any disruptions. It was almost serene, but that was the issue. To have such tranquility was a nauseating notion for mayhem being at their backs.
It was too quiet to be safe.
And that is when she knew to push the girl and her lover aside, veiling their presence with her technique before everything went black.
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Ringing...
Ringing...
And more ringing...
The lights were brighter, and the smoke and ash came straight from the source. She woke up coughing and gasping for air. For a moment, she thought she had been dreaming, immersed in a life that was not hers. Maybe she was waking up, back to her village, back to her parents, back to the life before she got caught in that awful nightmare.
"I am surprised that it was you, of all the women she let live." Sukuna started, looking down at what he believed to be the scum of the earth.
No, it was all too real. His voice registered through her head instantly despite not hearing it in years– at least in person. She had repeated memories, but sometimes she wondered if she had deformed his voice from years of not hearing him speak down on her. Turns out she remembered it accurately. It still managed to send chills down her spine and make her wish to be six feet under the ground.
"I was probably too forgettable for her to ever really care about whether I lived or died." Makato spat.
"That is reasonable enough, but that would not serve her memory well and rather insult her intelligence. I will say that, if anything, my Little Flower was too clever to let such technicality slip from her. She probably pitied you and your fruitless womb, so she gifted you with a child for you to care for in her absence. And knowing your broken state, she probably knew you would be eager at the opportunity."
Makato scowled, turning her gaze to the ground. How dare he speak of you in such a way. He said that as if you were on his level, as devious and conniving as he was, and claimed your actions were selfish when they were the opposite. You did this for her daughter, not for yourself. If you had it your way, you would be there.
"How old is she now?"
She refused to answer, turning her gaze back to the dirt. She did not want to give him the satisfaction of belittling her more than he already had. It was humiliating, but she still had some dignity and a promise she wished to uphold.
"What does it matter? She is dead. (Y/n) told you herself that she was gone."
A sharp pain was felt at the back of her head as he pulled her hair to force the woman to look up at him.
"Do not picture me a fool! For a woman whose last words claimed her daughter was gone, she left me the most humorous smile. I know that age of the girl, but I would rather hear from you, bitch, how long you have been holding her captive."
No response.
"Answer me!" Sukuna snarled, pulling at her scalp once more.
"Nineteen years of age," Makato smiled. Why? Do you wish to act as a father now? Well, you are too LATE! While you were out throwing tantrums, I raised her child, which you would not know how to do without being given exact handwritten instructions."
"On the contrary, you let her potential slip, and now she is nothing but another womb to breed. Unfortunate, due to the heritage of her mother and myself. However, a womb is still useful regardless."
Out of anything Sukuna had done, out of anything he had said to threaten her, that was the most horrifying.
"You are a disgusting bastard."
"Do not speak as if you can fill her shoes as if you have her confidence. You would not be in this position if you were half the woman she was."
"You are right; if I were half the woman she was, I could have easily manipulated you and have you play the role of the arrogant man with an ego so big, he does not notice the knife pointing at his back," A pause as she licked her lips, swallowing to try and quench her dry throat, "Everything that woman did was out of fear, much like everyone else; however, she knew how to tick your interest and she used that to her advantage. Honestly, I am ashamed. I only noticed it when she told me about her plan."
A twitch in his eye, he was irritated. It was known through body language and the knowledge of his nature that he wanted to tear Makato apart, limb from limb, until her body was unrecognizable.
"What? Afraid to face the truth of her decision. She could have run away with ease; she could have killed you, but both of those options would have been considered a mercy for you. She took away the one thing that you valued: herself. That must eat at you a lot."
With a swift motion, he scooped the former wife from her neck, squeezing her throat as he raised her to face him eye-to-eye.
"You are a worthless bitch who cannot even reproduce, summing you up to nothing. What is your worth?"
Nothing but the struggling breaths of the woman attempting to pry herself from this monster's grip.
"Exactly, you are worth nothing."
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Darkness, wherever they were, was dark. The girl and her lover were still in the woods, alive as well as they could manage. She could only remember running into this place before being shoved into the dark area. She felt the ground around her and reached her arms out into the pitch black as she tried to navigate this strange place. It scared her.
"Makato-san? Where are you?"
No response, only silence.
It was dark and frightening, and she did not know what to do. What could she do? She could cry, so she did; she cried as she tried to find her way back. This had to be some kind of night terror. She would wake up, and she would be at that doorway, welcoming her lover into their home, eating their meal, and then sharing the news. Her lover would get her caretaker's blessing, get married, and live happily ever after, right?
Dreadfully wrong.
Instead, a hand reached out and pulled her out of the darkness. The world was still unlit, but moonlight and the flames dancing in the distance could be seen nearby; however, she was not a part of the conflict.
She was about to scream, cry for help, anything to get attention drawn to her location, but was stopped by a large palm to the mouth.
"Shhh, my love. It is only me. It will be alright."
For the first time that night, she felt genuine relief. Turning her head to see her man, she looked down at her disheveled features. She weakly smiled, moving herself to embrace him. It all lasted for a few seconds until she realized the missing member of their little group.
"Where is Makato-san?" she whispered.
The man looked down, not daring to respond. She attempted to make eye contact, but he would only look away.
"Where is she?" she insistently asked, but louder.
" I do not know; a couple curse users emerged from the woods. Makato shoved us into the ditch, and when I came out, she was gone."
"Well...Well, we must go look for her."
A grasp to the wrist effectively stopped the girl.
"No, I cannot risk losing you, and I know Makato-san would agree. She would not want you going out to risk your life to save her."
How could he say that? How dare he say that! What right did he have in this decision?
"Then you do not know her." she scowled, trying to withdraw from his hold, but his hand did not budge.
"Then why would she tell you everything had she not already predicted the possibility that she might die."
"Because... because...she needed me to know because if we were going to run away, I would need to put in my own weight by knowing our threat...yes, that was it! Now let me go!" She tried to reason, but not to him—herself.
Denial.
"It was a confession! As if she were lying on her deathbed, she confessed everything to you. She wants you to move on, knowing there are dangers like your father. She wants you to kno-"
"Well, she may not be dead yet, so we have to try!"
With whatever strength she had deep down, she broke free from his grasp, sprinting towards the village and the flame. She could hear him following her, but in her mind, she wanted to believe he was doing it because he could see her reason. He would help; she was sure of it.
She was almost there, and she swore she could see the silhouette of her caretaker, but then she found herself on the ground. It was only for a second before being lifted into the air, a hand covering her mouth as she got further from her destination.
Kicking, muffled screams, and the distant cackling of flames could be heard. She bit her partner’s hand in an attempt that he would let her go from the sudden pain, but he was resistant. He merely grunted and winced while continuing his journey back. But then there was a halt.
There she was, Makato, thrown onto the ground. She could see her in the distance. The woman looked weak but very much alive, and she was right there. The daughter kicked, shoved, jabbed, and bit even more, trying to get loose. However, her lover would not budge because although he could see Makato, he could also see the shadow hovering over the woman, the shadow your daughter was refusing to look at.
Then the shadow disappeared, and the dreadful monster emerged, Sukuna Ryomen, hovering over Makato with disdain. Watching as she tried to crawl away but failed miserably. She was fighting, doing her best, but her fate was inevitable.
Death was the only option, and death is what she got.
Ryomen Sukuna caved into his impulses, ripping her limb from limb until she was unrecognizable. The daughter watched, horrified, as the woman who raised her was mutilated to nothing but a pulp. What sort of sick joke was this? She remained silent as she tried to think of who would pull such a childish trick, watching as the image got smaller until nothing was left. Eventually, it was just a tiny yellow dot in the distance and nothing more; all she could do was look at it.
"Promise me you will live."
Breath in
Breathe out
Breath in
Breathe out
Breath in
Breathe out
Breath in
Breathe out
Breath in
Breathe out
Breath in
Breathe out
Breath in
Breathe o-
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"NOOOOOOOOOO!"
The scream echoed through the dark room, and you tried to comprehend where you were. The walls were closing in, and the air was too thick to breathe. It felt like like suffocation.
What was this?
Why now?
Where is this?
Why is this?
How is-
"Y/n!"
You snapped back into reality, frantically looking at your surroundings to notice you were in your bedroom.
"Y/n, what happened? Are you okay?"
The silence was tense as you sat there, trying to remember your nightmare. You thought long and hard, but in the end, you had nothing.
"I...I don't know."
You heard a sigh, a hand rubbing your back, and another reaching for your cheek, wiping the stray tears you were unaware of.
"Do you want me to stay with you tonight, again?"
Some of you wanted to say no, but the opposing side longed for it. You stared at the clock on the wall before you, reading the time. It was a little past midnight, and you had hardly gotten any rest. You had a big day tomorrow, and rest was crucial to get through your day. God knows the things you would do if you did not properly sleep.
Turning to your twin brother, you weakly nodded, "Okay."
He did not hesitate to tuck you under his arm as if in an attempt to protect you from any harm to come your way, to shield you from the nightmares. However, despite his presence, it was like a part of the dream appeared that you remembered but didn't at the same time.
"Do you think I'll be a good mother?"
"Why are you asking me that?"
"Please just answer me...for my sanity."
Your brother sighed, resting his cheek on your head as he rubbed your shoulder to comfort you.
"Y/n, I have no doubt you will make a great mother. Come on, let's go back to sleep. I'll stay here, and everything will be better in the morning."
"Promise me it will be better in the morning."
"What?"
"You don't have to hold up to it. I just...I just want to hear you say it."
"I promise it will be better in the morning."
"Okay..."
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New series?? Sequel???Maybe, but first, a little break ☆~ (˃̵ڡ‘˶ )
Taglist (Thank you all so much for being a part of this series):
@littlemochi @mistalli @youngbeansprout @bbylime @bangtan-forever1479 @idktbhloley @izayas-rings @o3o-aya @pyschopotatomeme @persephonehemingway @otomaniac @meforpr3sident
@fourcefulcupid @nezuscribe @my-simp-land @zukuphilia @niya729 @spiritofstatic @bbittersw33t @kashasenpai @decaysan @honeybaegle @ygslvr @outrofenty @esposadomd @ali2426 @anmath @yazzzmints @lovingnahida @sincerest-one @rosemaydone321 @j0dios @k-ki3rd @maki-zenin1944 @shadowywizardarcade @ae-mius @xiangping-28 @loaves4me @aloraaaxcrystalzx @chariotwaves 
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runa-falls · 1 year ago
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scratches and bites - 2
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Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Reader
Warnings: Could be a little off-canon for some characters, lots of plot, slight angst, Miguel is an helicopter mom, reader just wants some friends :(
a/n: ok. i didn't realize how much i wanted to put into this chapter so spicy stuff is coming NEXT chapter. promith. i've already written some of it. anyway, i'm glad y'all are enjoying my O'Hara content. I hope this lives up to your expectations lmfao
Summary: Miguel O'Hara is a grumpy man and you make him grumpy. You regularly go against his orders, create chaos, and invite danger. This is what you've been doing since he swept you away.
w/c: 2.2k
series masterlist | main masterlist
----
So being “Spider-Woman” turned out to be harder than you thought. It’s not all swinging from and shooting webs like you imagined. Apparently, there’s a spider-specific physical regimen you’re required to keep up with. Every day. 
You’re almost convinced that you’re being hazed into the spider-verse community because you are yet to see anyone else doing upside-down web squats on a 100-story building. Not to mention the life-threatening training simulations you were thrown into as soon as you arrived in Nueva York. 
“They can’t hurt you, Kid. They’re holograms.” 
“Yeah, that’s what they want you to think O’Hara, but my ass has been kicked enough to prove differently.”
“Alright, well they can’t kill you.”
Miguel has been “training” you for the last few months to become the best Spider-Woman you can be, pushing you harder than you’ve ever been pushed before. Though these days, this “training” is actually just him telling Parker to drill you in whatever he thinks will work. 
O’Hara attempted to do it himself for like three days, and it turns out he’s too impatient to take in a spider apprentice or even be in a room where you do anything but exactly what he commands. 
You should’ve expected it. 
Sure, Miguel is a naturally grumpy man, but you swear he has it out for you. He literally tenses whenever you enter the room and makes sure to barely meet your eyes when he’s forced to talk to you.
Actually, ever since you were dropped in the middle of Spider-Central, O’Hara has been ignoring you. Treating you like the plague. Always making the excuse that he’s too busy with things that are far more important than anything you’d ever have to say. As if he wasn’t the one who forced you to come with him in the first place…
It’s not fair. He was literally all you had. 
Months ago, he showed you a side of him, the one that convinced you that he actually brought you here for a reason, but now he can’t even look at you. Sure, you’re a particularly slow learner, and one that never really liked PE, but you deserve some slack. You left everything for him – for them. 
Meeting people who’ve gone through similar circumstances as you was quite interesting, to say the least. And it doesn’t stop at people either. Spider cars, dinosaurs, and cats were just the beginning. 
You’ve made a few friends. There’s Gwen, a 15 (or was it 16?) -year-old who mostly talks about her friend Miles, music, and…uh, Miles. It’s sweet how she gushes on about some guy without fully realizing how into him she is. Miles sounds great, really great, but you’ll probably never get to meet him because of the number of restrictions placed on your watch. Fucking O’Hara and his parental controls. 
Gwen is cool, she plays the drums and can do a bunch of acrobatic things that you’d never even attempt, but she’s also almost a half-decade younger than you. There’s only so much you can talk about before you start getting homesick. Of course, despite her young age, she’s still given more responsibilities and missions than you. If Miguel has one hobby, it would be undermining everything you do. 
“She’s been in the game longer than you have.” He always makes that excuse. 
And you always counter it with: “But I’m older! I can do more than just scream for help!”
“This isn’t a discussion.” That honestly might be his favorite phrase to shut you up these days. “You’ll be called on when you’re ready, Kid.” And that. 
“I am ready. And stop calling me that. I’m not a kid, I’m 20 years old!”
“Yeah, whatever.”
There’s also Peter Parker, your reluctant coach. He’s…something else. Sure, he’s your friend, but he’s more like a substitute teacher and crazy uncle type of guy. Usually, he listens to everything Miguel says, acting like a glorified babysitter, but sometimes, he’s up to bend the rules on some things.
Once he let you visit his dimension, claiming you’d need some real-life experience as a “friendly-neighborhood spider-woman”. You spent that day chasing down petty robbers and helping old ladies cross the road. Sure, it was a small field trip, but that was only the third dimension you’d traveled to at the time. 
Parker is also always trying to get you to hold his daughter whenever she comes to work claiming that “it’ll be good for your mental health, trust me.” Of course, for Parker, every day is “bring-your-kid-to-train-the-new-spider-woman-day”. And really, you don’t mind holding her, but not when you’re in the middle of sparing 5 of Doc Ocks tentacles. 
The baby is adorable, but you do worry about how she crawls up the walls. Parker doesn’t seem fazed. Actually, neither does O’Hara. 
Sometimes you wonder if O’Hara wants kids one day. He certainly handles Mayday like a pro, letting her crawl over his shoulders and paperwork. Would he possibl– No, actually, it doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter, because he left you. He’s not – couldn’t even be an option. – Anyway…
Parker and Mayday are nice company and the only real constants in your life, but you really just want to be a consistent part of the team. You don’t know how much longer you can spend your days doing swinging drills and spider crunches (don’t even ask). But Parker has actually been your rock these past months, to give him credit. He’s one of the few people that makes you feel like you belonged in this distorted array of spiders and dimensions.
Then there’s Hobie. 
The first time you met him you probably had literal stars in your eyes. Donned with a spiked vest and several facial piercings, he caught your attention right away. He catches everyone’s attention. Even his suit is cooler than everyone else’s with a spiked mohawk that surely gets in the way.
Unfortunately, just as you were hoping to take on the Brit as your mentor for all things spider, he was decidedly off-limits, courtesy of O’Hara. Apparently, his rebellious nature and brash energy make him a “bad influence”. 
“Seriously? You should be glad that I’m taking a bigger interest in my training.” You have your hands posted up on your hips, trying to make yourself look bigger than you actually are. Damn, O’Hara and his domineering presence!
He rolls his eyes openly, genuinely already done with the conversation. “Yeah…your ‘training,’ sure.” 
“What is that supposed to mean!” You practically whine it out.
“Don’t get distracted gatita, just do as you’re told.”
“Ok, what does that mean? I don’t speak Italian.”
“That was Spanish dumbass.”
Of course, that doesn’t stop you from hanging out with him anyway (though he’s not around as much anymore). Who knew making friends as Spider-Person would be so hard. You’d think you’d have a lot in common with everyone around you, but really, you’re all alone. Sometimes you think the spiders actually resent you deep down because you’re the only one that has never lost anything. Or had anything to lose in the first place. 
For now, you’re just moving through a sea of spiders, trying to catch a glimpse of what you’re supposed to be doing here. Trying to figure out why you were chosen over the infinite other versions of you in the multiverse.
So far you’ve been on 2 and a half missions. The half was when you were forcibly sent home and effectively grounded for a week. Apparently, talking to civilians while standing guard is prohibited, even when they’re selling dip’n’dots. What? It was a long ass mission. And it was hot! 
This one is your official third mission. It’s quite simple, in theory. Just travel to Earth-275A, infiltrate a tech lab, pick up some – worryingly volatile – equipment, and go home. Easy. 
Except, it didn’t exactly go that way. 
It’s just you, Miguel, Gwen, and Jess on this mission. You and Jess were placed on lookout duty (you on the roof and Jess on the ground with her bike), while Miguel and Gwen broke in and out of the building. It was all running smoothly, each spider occasionally muttering quietly through the radio whenever their positionings changed. Otherwise, it was silent. And frankly, a bit boring. 
You idly kicked around some pebbles that somehow found their way onto the roof of this tall ass building, sometimes smacking them against the half wall separating you from falling a thousand feet downwards. You were actually dying to get back to HQ because you briefly spotted Hobie talking to Parker and Mayday before you had to go. He’s been quite absent lately, and you want to show off some of the new moves you learned this week.
Then, there was suddenly action. 
A huge explosion surges out the right side of the building that O’Hara and Stacy were infiltrating. That mission plan was not kidding when they described the ‘volatility’ of the shit inside of those supply crates. Deep creaking and smashing objects follow the blast. You watch as the tallest building in the city starts to tilt. Shit, the explosion must’ve taken out some of the support beams.
You hear Miguel yelling your name through your earpiece, as well as heavy breathing and crumbling concrete in the background. 
“Y-yes? Copy–”
“You and Gwen collect the crate and get out of here. I already called for a portal. Jess and I will get surrounding civilians away from danger.” 
“Understood, sir.” You don’t usually call him anything like ‘sir’, but the stakes are high and complete compliance is needed at this moment. 
“Crate is located on the top floor, Stacy is already there waiting for my word.” You briefly shake yourself out, mentally preparing yourself to scale the larger building in front of you.
With a quick fwp, you attach your web to the nearly as tall building next to your target to give yourself some leverage. You jump without even giving yourself time to think about it, tugging slightly at the web, making sure to collect as much kinetic energy as possible. You release the web when you get to the highest point and spit out another web to get you to the top floor of the building. Luckily the blast took out the windows so you could easily enter the floor. 
There, Gwen stands next to a crate with several scientists and guards nicely pasted onto the walls with perfectly placed webs on each limb and over their abdomens. 
“Took you long enough.” 
“It’s been 30 seconds!”
“Relax, I’m teasing.” She shoots out a couple of webs and connects them to the crate. “Here, help me out with this.” You follow her movements, pulling at your webs slightly to get a good evaluation of its weight. Surprisingly, it moves quite easily, almost three inches from your soft tug.
“Why’re we both doing this when it weighs 100 lbs. We have super strength.”
“I dunno, Miguel just gave us the orders. There’s probably a reason. It doesn’t really matter.” You frown realizing you could’ve been down there helping O’Hara save actual lives but instead, you were ordered to assist a teenager on a one-person job. “The portal is opening in a few seconds on the roof of the building behind us.” Gwen doesn’t seem phased. “We can just swing it with us.”
“Isn’t this shit going to blow up if we move it too harshly?”
“Not when it’s in this protective crate.” She steps closer to the broken window, mentally measuring and planning out the escape route. “That explosion earlier was from an open container.” You hum, still torn over leaving Gwen to do the delivery so you can help people get out of the way faster. “You ready then?” She’s been watching you. Clearly, your thoughts are painted on your face.
You nod briefly, “Let’s go.” Together you take each side of the crate and use your other arms to swing yourselves over to the portal that magically appears. This time, that odd purring sound of the portal is completely blocked out by the chaos going on around you. Somehow the building has still only tilted a little bit since the explosion. 
As Gwen pushes the crate into the gateway, you look down at the streets, watching as Miguel and Jess work impeccably together as they save hundreds of civilians from falling debris and the inevitable demolition of the building.
Then you look back a Gwen, who’s ready to head home. Then you look down at them again. 
Then your eye catches on a red sedan sheltering a terrified family that sits under the chaos.
Gwen catches your eye. “Don’t.” 
“I have to.” 
“Migu–”
“Would do the same.”
“--Will mur-der me.” You sigh, but quickly shoot a couple of webs downwards without looking. Gwen has her arms folded, sharing that unamused expression that Jess loves to sport. Her feet are now temporarily stuck to the floor. You’re sure she could get out of it in a second, but you can tell, she’s not going to stop you. “Don’t die.”
Right before jumping off the ledge, you send her a cheesy smirk, “Me? Never.”
----
Taglist: @deputy-videogamer @danaeaurelia @reuxxi
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kitthepurplepotato · 11 months ago
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Chapter 8 - Fooling Around with Pro Hero Deku?!
(18+ but half of it can be read by everyone!)
Summary: Sharing a hot tub with the person you love the most can go two ways; it can get really emotional or really hot. This one was both.
Important note: This chapter has 18+ parts but there is a note written in red when the cheekyness starts and then there is a green note where it ends. The chapter has some important information and plot so please read the “safe” bits even if you skip the “action”. Thank you!
Warnings: Sexual content, swear words
First Chapter Master List
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
“Are you ready to have a splash with me?” Izuku mutters cheekily as he leads you towards his car. Your whole face becomes a big flashing red sign.
“Your mom is still watching.” You giggle to yourself, as you wave to Izuku’s family for the last time before you sit into Izuku’s badass sports car to be taken home.
“Mom would be thrilled about my evening plans, she’s been bugging me to do something fun for ages.” Deku answers like he’s talking about the weather and not about you two getting naked in a hot tub like two random characters in a bad Hollywood movie.
“You are surprisingly chill about this.” You mumble with your face still red. Izuku only giggles at that.
“Well, we have a common changing room in the agency and it was the same in UA, so I’m not… well, a lot of people had seen me naked. I’m also in a lot of underwear ads. I have no reason to be ashamed of my body as you’ve seen the most of it already. I’m just excited to share this intimate moment with you, get to know you a bit more… yeah. I’m just happy to spend some time with you. I know I’m not the most perfect person body-wise, I have a lot of scars and a lot of freckles and most of them were photoshopped out of the pictures, but I know you won’t judge me. I trust you.” Izuku smiles as he turns right with perfect precision. “Okay, that’s a lie, I am a little bit ashamed and a tiny bit worried, I mean, I have a lot of freckles on my bum and…”
“Oh my god, Izu! Shut the fuck up!” You yell, mortified, but also, somehow amused. Honestly, Izuku having a freckled bum was one of your head canons so you are more than happy to hear it’s actually true; back when you accidentally took a peak at him from your window you didn’t have time to actually access his bits and bobs properly, plus it would’ve been inappropriate to do so back then so you missed this tiny detail.
“Your freckled bum sounds adorable.” You mutter under your nose with a mischievous smile.
“Yeah?” He mutters back, face red as a lobster. “Okay, now I’m a little bit nervous.”
You can’t help but giggle at that.
“You are so cute.”
~•🥦•~
“So how do you want to do this?” You mumble under your nose with a tiny blush on your face. Izuku’s smile is so full of fondness it makes your heart flutter in your chest; he looks so fucking innocent right now, wrapped in a massive All Might towel like a big burrito while you are still in your clothes, way too ashamed to take them off yet.
“Well… maybe you should get in first. I won’t peek!” He sits up straight, like a good schoolboy. “Then you close your eyes and I come in too. Then we can decide on the rest later. The hot tub makes a lot of bubbles so we won’t see anything unless we want to. Which is fine by me by the way. If you… want to look.” You are not the only one shying away from this now but Izuku tries his best to keep himself determined. You both want to get closer to each other, that’s true, but even as an adult, getting naked in front of someone for the first time is always a bit… well… awkward.
And okay, fuck’s sake, Midoriya Izuku looks like a fucking Greek god, while you are literally a nicely shaped potato. It’s not just about being awkward, it’s about the massive difference between you two. You don’t have a six pack. You don’t have nicely sculpted body, you are just… normal. Not bad, not ugly, but nothing compared to Izuku’s perfect body.
Fuck, you are stressing over nothing. He doesn’t care about that. He never did. You are being stupid…
“Sweets, we don’t need to do this if you are not ready.” Izuku grabs your hand, his finger drawing circles on your skin, his eyes full of worry.
“It’s not that, Izu. I just want… I want you to like me. But you work with all those heroes and they all look so…”
“Stop that. Right now.” Izuku reprimands, his eyes dark and protective. “You don’t know how much I…” He shakes his head to clear his thoughts and the darkness from his eyes. “I thought about you… so much. Every time I touch you, I try to imagine how you look like under all the layers and I think I have a slight idea already… this sounds so creepy but isn’t it normal? Thinking about this stuff when you love someone? Wanting to see them without all the covers, see them raw so you can love every single flaw, every single detail just as much as you love their soul?” Izuku’s hand makes it’s way to your waist, then under your shirt, caressing your side, moving his thumb over your soft skin, mapping out the area with nothing but wonder in his sparkly eyes. “I’m obsessed with you, Sweet Pea. I’ve always been. From the first time I saw you. I’m even obsessed with the way you sleep, with the way you draw, I love your shapes I love your colors… I love you.”
“Izu…” Your whole face is red. His words, his touches… they are scorching hot, they make you burn with desire, the flames licking at your skin as his fingers wander around your sides. You put your hand on his under your shirt and his movement stutters; he looks at you with nothing but worry, like he did something wrong but it’s actually quite the opposite; you move his hand to the middle of your chest to make him feel your heart thudding like a maniac, just after those few words. “This is what you do to me. Can you feel it?”
Izuku only nods, his fingers splayed out completely, assessing, studying the undiscovered area. His touch feels amazing, like tiny sparks of lighting going through your veins with every minuscule motion. The tips of his fingers aren’t soft, they are full of callouses, rough and broken, but they are Izuku’s so it still feels pleasant.
“Can I… ask you for a favor, Sweet Pea?” Izuku mutters, eyes full with want.
“Anything, love.” You whisper, completely entranced.
“Today… I only want to see you. And touch you. Get to know you. Nothing else.” He admits. “If I go too far, can you stop me? Even if… even if it’s good, even if it’s okay with you… I always wanted to do this. To just… be vulnerable with someone, be naked and enjoy each others company without uhm… ending up in the bed. I know it sounds weird, but…”
“No, I understand. I will stop you. But only because you asked me to.” You admit, not able to keep eye contact with him. Damn, it’s not going to be easy to say no when he looks at you with eyes this hungry but if this is what he wants…
“Can you start now? Because I’m really struggling.” Izuku giggles while he nuzzles your tummy. You both start laughing like two idiots while your hand finds its way into Izuku’s curls to play around. It’s not that his words doesn’t uhm… make you feel things but he said that with such an adorable tone you just can’t stop smiling.
“You close your eyes, calm down, then see you in the hot tub, yeah?”
“How am I supposed to calm down when I know what you’re about to do?!” Izuku legitimately whines into your face, his voice needy and so so honest it makes your heart hurt. He’s finally himself right now, just him being a silly and a uhm… horny nerd, not the hero, not the famous guy from the headboards, just Izuku, the young geek from the neighborhood. You absolutely love when Izuku goes all unhinged because it’s so fucking rare to see him like that.
Maybe, after this, he will be able to be like this more and more until all his insecurities fade away completely - That’s what you think about as you shed your clothes right by the hot tub, leaving the clothing nicely folded on the bench next to it.
Okay. You can do this. You have your towel in an arms length, in case you feel like it’s too much. By the look of it, Izuku won’t be able to see too much while the hot tub is on, the bubbles are way too frequent for him to take a good look.
You just need to sit in and wait for your godly boyfriend to join you and make sure he doesn’t… uhm… do anything he doesn’t really want to as per his instructions. Easy.
“I’m coming in!” Izuku announces himself, still in his All Might towel. He makes his way over with big, confident steps but stutters as he takes in the sight in front of him; your naked body hidden by nothing but the bubbles, your arms around your naked chest for extra safety, cheeks ruddy from embarrassment. Izuku swallows hard, his whole face red as he comes closer and sits down on the side of the hot tub, still in his towel. “Hi, Sweets.” Izuku drops his eyes to the floor with a shy smile on his face. He pops his legs into the water, splashing around like a child.
“Hi.” You mutter with a tiny smile. “Want to join me?” You reach out for him, but Izuku starts muttering random, incoherent stuff, clearly about to combust and you can’t help but laugh at that, all your embarrassment gone just from the sight of him.
“Uhm, yeah, I will, I swear I will it’s just uhm… you are… naked… and pretty and uhm… I don’t think I thought this through, oh my god…”
“Izu, just come in. It’s too late to run away now.” You giggle, forcing him to take your hand.
“Stop pulling me!” Izuku yells, his eyes terrified. Did you just attempt to pull the guy into the water? Yes, you just did. “Let me put my towel down, oh my god, Y/N!” Izuku stumbles and falls into the tub, water splashing all over, the sound of it louder than the happy giggles coming from you. “How will I get out now?! I have no towel, Sweets!!!” Izuku yelps, his voice high pitched, his face facing the other way out of embarrassment.
“We can share mine…” You purr into his ear while you snake your arms around his waist to pull him closer. Your breasts bounce back a bit as you push yourself into his back and you swear you can see smoke coming out of Izuku’s ears.
“Sweets, your… your bosom… is touching my back.” Izuku mutters as the blood explodes out of his nose, like in those stupid animes.
“I thought you want to get to know me better…” you mutter back, a little bit embarrassed now that the adrenaline is wearing off. “Sorry, I’ll stop bullying you.” You finally give the poor guy some peace. Izuku takes a deep breath and before you have time to get a good look at his beautiful back muscles, this absolute maniac tears the towel off himself under the water, and throws it to the other side of the garden, almost down into the street.
“Well, I wanted to show you my tattoo properly without flashing anything you don’t want to see yet, but now you missed your chance to see it.” Izuku grumbles with a red face, fake-offended.
“I don’t mind seeing your peachy ass, Izu.” You tease him but apparently, it doesn’t work anymore; Izuku only rolls his eyes with a fond smile on his face.
“Are you sure you can handle the sight? Even Kacchan admitted that my ass is juicy. I’m quite sure Calvin Klein likes my ass more than they like my personality.” The green head sighs. He’s in a sassy mood. You absolutely adore Izuku in a sassy mood. “They have all those fancy suits and shirts and cool trousers yet all I get is underwear. I’m offended.”
“Are you trying to show off, love?” You snicker, slowly sneaking closer your boyfriend, hoping for a cheeky cuddle. He doesn’t lean towards you yet, probably still a bit shy, but that’s fine.
“Maybe? I mean my butt is probably the only part of me that’s not full of scars…” Izuku looks away with eyes full of sadness. You hate when he does that, but you’ll make sure to change his way of seeing himself as soon as you can.
“I love your scars though.” You caress the massive scar around Izuku’s elbow; it’s the biggest one of them all, sprawled through half of his arm. It’s the one he got when he was only 14 years old. “One day, I want you to tell me the story behind all of them while I kiss them all. That’s one of my dreams, really. To do that. I want to kiss your insecurities away because you are the most beautiful human being in the whole wide word, Midoriya Izuku.” You stretch yourself to give your favorite person a kiss, absolutely unaware that your boobs are out of the water now.
(Warning: mention of nipples, boob touching)
Izuku yelps into your kiss and covers them with his hand right away; again, silly mistake, because just as his rough palm touches your sensitive nipple you can’t help but make a surprised noise, something between a moan and a yelp. Izuku moves his hand away with a high pitched “sorry” but you are not having any of that; you take his hand into yours and put them back where they were. “You can touch. If you want. You wanted to get to know my body, so… just… do it.” You stutter, half terrified and half… well… excited.
I mean, fucking Midoriya Izuku, your favorite hero is fondling your fucking boobies in a hot tub, of course you are excited, who wouldn’t be?
“Oh…Kay… thank you, Sweet Pea. I’ll be careful.” The tension in the air is… well… there is uhm… tension. Okay, where did your brain go?! Hello?! Words?! What’s going on?! Who is this?! Where are you?! Why is it so hot in here?!
(You okay to read along for a bit.)
“You okay, love?” Suddenly, Izuku’s hand leaves your chest and caresses your cheek; he pushes some stray hairs out of your face with a gentle smile on his face.
“I think I got overexcited and left this universe for a second, sorry.” You admit sheepishly. “You know, I’m kinda sharing a hot tub with pro hero Deku and we are both naked… my fangirl self is yelling in my head.”
Izuku next laugh is so free and careless it makes your heart melt completely.
“What does your fangirl-self want to do about it?” Izuku teases you back. You can’t help but yelp at how stupid your last sentence was.
“Nothing! Really! Nothing! I’m okay like this! Chilling in the hot tub!” You whine, red faced.
“You want to touch me? Want to feel me up, Baby?” Izuku’s face is right by your ears, his voice deep and husky, his shenanigans followed by a cheeky, innocent giggle.
“Stop teasing me, Mr. Perfect Muscles!” You full on yell into Izuku’s face now, absolutely mortified. He can’t just grumble into your ears like that, even as a joke! Oh my god, that went straight to places where nothing was supposed to go today. That’s just not fair.
“Sorry, I’ll stop. I swear.” Izuku giggles. “Except if you don’t want me too, my favorite little fangirl.” He grumbles again, making a flirty face which looks absolutely like Hawks’s.
“That’s how you wanna play this game, hot stuff? Take this, you flirty little chicken.” Your arms reach towards Izuku’s armpits. He doesn’t have time to defend himself before you start to tickle him menacingly, right where it tickles the most.
“Chicken?! Sweets, stop… haha… oh my god, stop… haha… please I beg you I’m sorry!” Izuku laughs, his eyes pleading but you are on a mission here; you need to show Izuku who wears the pants here! “Okay, if… haha… you don’t stop, I’ll stop… haha… you myself.” Izuku grabs your waist and sends you flying in the air; now needless to say the nerd didn’t think this action through at all because first of all, THIS IS TOO FUCKING HIGH, and second of all… well. You are still naked.
It takes Izuku a few seconds to realize his mistake and he catches you as quickly as he can, even with his eyes closed out of respect; he puts you in his lap, and mumbles sorry then takes a deep breath to calm himself down.
“Stupid nerd…” you grumble, your red face hidden in the crook of his neck. You try to make yourself comfortable, but Izuku puts his hands on your shoulders, his face just as red as yours.
“Sweets, don’t move… I made a mistake.” He mutters; he makes such a constipated face you can barely stop yourself from laughing.
“What…” Something twitches right under your… uhm… well… that. “Oh.”
Warning: 18+ for a bit, scroll down to the green writing to continue, there are important bits there!
“Sorry…”
“No, it’s fine, I’ll…” You try to carefully move away but the friction is just enough for the both of you to feel the pleasure of it. You’ll never forget Izuku’s face when your folds touched his half-hard member; his eyes are dark and clouded, almost watery and he’s biting his lips to not make a sound, to not show how much he liked it, but it’s all in vein; his face says it all as he can’t stop looking into your eyes, he can’t stop drinking the sight in front of him, he grabs your waist to stop you from moving away too far, desperate to feel you, desperate to be touched… “Izu…” You whisper as your body slowly goes back to its original place, right on top of Izuku’s laying member. “You don’t want this, remember?” You mutter into his mouth as you leave open mouthed kisses on his lips. His grips gets stronger, his restraint so close to snapping, but Izuku fights against the urges, even as another wave of pleasure goes through his spine when you straddle the hero’s hips and sit back down.
“I love you. I respect you. You are my everything, Sweet Pea. I would die for you.” You are not sure if Izuku is even conscious by the way he mutters nonsense into your ear; his hips snap forward, the length of his member shimming between your folds without any kind of penetration but the feelings of something so soft yet hard rubbing against your core makes you moan out loud; you look up at your boyfriend, into his eyes full of tears and terror and you stop your movements completely; something is wrong, something is not right, something is…
“Izuku, it’s fine. We don’t need to do anything. But we can also just… uhm… do this? It feels nice, isn’t it? It’s okay to want to feel nice, Izuku. It’s not a sin to have desires. I love you. And I want to see your face all scrunched up from how good it feels. I want to make you happy.” You try to smile at him, your hand caressing his cheeks to soothe him.
“This is so dirty, Sweets. You deserve better than this. I want to cherish you. I want to earn this. I want…” You can’t help but sigh at that. It’s a sweet thought but it’s also so silly; you don’t feel like you are being used for pleasure right now, it’s actually quite the opposite; this position is so intimate, so special, it’s just you and him surrounded by nothing but warmth, holding into each other, loving each other, helping each other to wind down after a stressful week…
“Izuku, what part of this is dirty to you? We love each other, don’t we? Is it a sin to feel each other? To enjoy this closeness? Do I look offended? Look into my eyes and tell me what you see.” You try your best to ignore his twitching member laying under you for a second to prove your point.
“Well, your pupils are really wide. Your eyes shine really beautifully. Your cheeks are flushed. Your lips look really tasty… I mean healthy. You look really beautiful. I love you.” He stares into your eyes like you are the one who hung the starts in the sky. You absolutely love the way he looks at you right now, it actually makes you believe this is real, not just a fleeting dream you are having every night to get away from the reality. You might be a creative person but you would never be able to come up with such a beautiful piece of art as Izuku’s face is right now.
“That’s… not what I asked.” You giggle into his neck shyly. “Can you tell me why you think this is wrong? I want to understand you.” You stop your shenanigans, trying your best to not touch in those places, but even without realizing it, Izuku pushes you right back. You decide not to comment on it and to school your face when the pleasure hits you.
“It’s… it’s dirty. You are so pure, so perfect, I… I don’t want to ruin this with my filthy desires. You are so much more than that to me. I don’t want to use you…” Izuku mutters while his hands caress your sides soothingly, the touch full of love and care.
Green zone, also, this bit is important.
“Izu, do you want to tell me what happened to you… before me?” You move your hand to the man’s cheeks, slowly caressing his ruddy cheek to calm him down a bit. Izuku visibly tenses at the mention, but sighs into the space between you, his muscles relaxing once more. Izuku has a lot of freckles on his shoulders, probably from the sunny weather and it makes his bulky figure loose it’s menacing edge; he’s just a boy, a young guy, lost in his own head, lost in his memories, a young guy full of insecurities etched into his heart by someone in the past who certainly does not matter anymore.
“There was one person. A person I thought I loved but… I don’t think I did. She certainly didn’t love me but it took me months to realize that. Everyone knew, everyone tried to tell me but I didn’t listen. I was too happy to feel needed, to not be a “Deku” for once.” Izuku tenses again so you decide to hug him tight, or as tight as you can hug a person sitting in a hot tub. You touch in a lot of places, but it doesn’t make you feel desire anymore; Izuku’s mental health is so much more important than a few minutes of pleasure. “I’ve always been a bit behind when it came to anything sexual, I was too focused on my hero work, on my notes, on my research to even think about uhm… trying stuff, even alone. This person… didn’t care about me feeling this way and I was too scared to say no but even though it felt nice I felt… dirty. I felt used. I felt like that but I still did it, every time she asked me to but with every single time I hated myself more and more for being so weird about this and she started to make me feel small and useless after a while and it wasn’t just about sex, it was about everything; my clothes, my scars, my body; my legs being too muscly, my freckles, my hair, I was too soft, too boyish…” Needless to say you are halfway between yelling and crying your heart out as you listen to his story. “It took me several months and Katsuki’s constant begging for me to finally realize she doesn’t love me, she just loves the money and my name. I was nothing but a stepping stone for her. We had an ugly break up. She said a lot of things I will never forget. It took me a long time to even be able to look into the mirror without frowning. I thought I’ll die alone. Then you came into my life.” Izuku pushes you a bit further so he can look into your teary eyes with nothing but love. “You turned my life upside down in the best way possible. I still have insecurities, clearly but… they are fading away. You are healing me. Thank you.” Izuku leaves a tiny kiss on your lips and pulls you closer once again, his body flush against yours.
“So what we just… did… well, almost… reminded you of this? I’m sorry for being so pushy… I didn’t mean any harm, Izu…” You finally let go of your tears, let yourself be the vulnerable one.
“No… I mean yes but it’s not your fault. I thought I am being the one using you this time, not the other way around. I see how stupid I was now that my head is clear. I’m sorry for ruining our hot tub date.” Izuku mutters into your hair while his arms tighten around your middle.
“You didn’t ruin anything, love.” You smile. “We got to know each other, didn’t we? We even played around a little bit and it was really nice. You told me something important. I learnt something new. It was a good date, Izu.”
“I don’t deserve you.” Izuku plays with your hair with a lovesick gaze in his eyes, his hips moving just a tiny bit under you.
“Oh, you do. You are perfect. Just what I always wanted.” You mumble into his hair, enjoying the way his curls tickle your cheek.
“I mean, I am the hero you are obsessed with…” Izuku teases, finally back to his old self.
“Hey! That’s not what I meant at all and you know that!” You giggle into his hair then move to his ear to give it a little, reprimanding bite.
“Sweets, uhm…” Izu pushes you away again to look at you. “How… much did I ruin the mood? Would you be uhm… interested in continuing?”
The look Izuku gives you while he says that goes right to your… well.
“Are you sure? We don’t need to. I can wait.” You try to reassure him but Izuku only shakes his head at that.
“Haha, I think… I think I want to fool around with the person I love the most. It’s my off-day. I can do whatever I want.” He says giddily, moving you down again. This time, you don’t try to fake nonchalance.
Warning: 18+ until the end, sexual content, (NO penetration), I don’t know how to tag this?!
“Uhm.” Izuku swallows around nothing, his face scrunched from pleasure already. You move your hips tentatively, shimmy yourself to the side of his length and for the first time since you two have been together, Izuku makes the sweetest voice, high pitched and so-so hot it makes you feel things down there, way past the pleasure of the friction. You try it again, and again, the movement more and more deliberate; your folds hug the length of him as you move from the tip to the end, without penetration, just you massaging his member by moving back and forth on the skin, giving yourself pleasure just as much as you give pleasure to him. “Sweets… that feels really good…” Izuku moves his hips up to help with the friction and you can’t help but choke on your next words, not even sure what they were supposed to be in the first place. “Is it nice for you too, love?
Ahh, Izuku is a guy who needs reassurance and talks a lot. You are not surprised by this revelation.
“Really nice, I love how close I am to you. Can we sleep naked tonight?”
Izuku only giggles at that which becomes a moan as he snaps his hips up again.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea but I can sleep in my underwear again?” You make another move, and another and another, getting closer and closer to your climax with every slide. “Can you sleep without a shirt? I loved the feeling of your… uhm… bouncy bits.” Izuku gets redder and redder as the time goes by, his movements under you careful, soft and so-so loving it hurts your heart. Your hands are in Izuku’s hair now, the curls bouncy under your palm. It might be only your imagination but you swear there are tiny, green sparkles around Midoriya, they look like the sparks of One For All acting out from all the pleasure Izuku’s getting from your shenanigans. You decide to move a bit quicker, with less hesitance, chasing your own sparks that erupt inside you with every move and every touch.
“You can touch them if you want.” You mumble, absolutely out of it and Izuku indeed goes for it; he moves his head towards your chest, leaves tiny kisses around your breast, then pops your bud into his mouth, only for a second and you see stars right away; your grip on his hair tightens and Izuku moans into your breast, needy and impatient as he snaps himself up again, chasing his climax while his mouth wanders from your chest to your neck then up to your lips. The kiss you get next is nothing like the ones you’ve got before; this one is scorching hot, dripping from desire, needy but somehow so full of emotions and unsaid words - Izuku talks to you even when he’s not, every movement full of words he’s too shy to say.
“We should stop, I’m gonna…” Izuku pants into your ear and licks into it, the smallest of moans coming out of his mouth as his movements become more sporadic. It’s absolutely ridiculous how you didn’t even really do anything yet it feels like the best sex you’ve ever had in your life.
“Too late.” You whine, your words followed by a deep kiss and that’s when it hits you; something snaps inside you, makes you feel cold and hot at the same time, your moan muffled by Izuku’s mouth; it takes Izuku a few seconds to understand what just happened and it doesn’t take him long to follow; one look at your blissed out face was all he needed to come, his grip tight on your sides as he comes down from his high together with you.
“This is the cheekiest thing I’ve ever done, Sweets.” Izuku pants with a massive, shit-eating grin on his face. You’ll never forget his blissed out face. Never. Fucking hell, you would absolutely be thrilled to have a second round like… right now. The pink cheeks, the half-lidded eyes, the sparks dancing around his whole body, even under water…
“Do you want to hear something even cheekier?” You whisper into his ear, barely able to conceal your giggles.
“Tell me.”
“We need to clean the whole hot tub. Today.” You finally let your laugh out and Izuku snorts.
“Worth it.”
“Absolutely.”
Spoiler: Both of you almost change your mind about that after cleaning the fucking hot tub for two whole hours.
… Next Chapter!
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Potato ramble:
- Honestly? I have no idea how this happened but it felt so right for these two that I decided to keep it even if it feels a bit cringe. Izuku definitely have some issues to sort out, but we love him.
- Also, I didn’t forget about the secret room! I have it planned in already but the reveal is going to happen in the last plot!
- I hope you enjoyed this part, please send me your thoughts! 🥦
TL: @garfieldthomas @porusuniverse @stickygumchewer @sixxze @mily-moo @aei-sedai-moiraine @aymasakusa @katsuari @kenzie-deadly @shiviwrites07 @lukerycyja-reblogs @cloroxisadelectabletreat @coffeent @kisskissshutmydoor @bobcar1 @yazminetrahan @cringefan @ronimacaroni77 @thekookiecorner @dangerousluv1 @emperatris-rinaka @shotos-angelic-whore @angelsdemonsmonsters @norvacaine @rei165 @unofficialmuilover @yao-ai
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nolita-fairytale · 2 years ago
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still into you | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader | chapter four: sunday
summary: after returning home from new york, carmy has a surprise & a very important question for you.
warnings: swearing, no use of y/n, she/her pronouns, drinking & smoking, suggestive language.
word count: 4.3k
listen to: sympathy - the goo goo dolls | still into you (cover) - julia sheer | let's get married - bleachers | (playlist here)
a/n: this chapter has me screaming internally and externally. i'm not well. now who's ready for some early carmy x reader angst?! thank you to all who reblogged, commented, liked. i will keep writing and annoying everyone w my obsession for this man.
read: chapter three
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Sunday
It’s early-Sunday morning by the time you arrive at JFK. You, Sydney, Marcus, and Carmy wait in the hellishly long Starbucks line because it’s the only fuckin’ thing available at the airport this morning. 
Fuckin’ monopolies, you think to yourself, begrudgingly. 
After ordering all at once, the four of you wait for your coffees. Your order isn’t the most unique – just a cafe au lait with oat milk, no sugar. The hard at work barista quickly makes their way through all four coffee orders, glad that they’re simple. As the order’s up, you watch the barista add the four cups – three hot, one iced – to the pick up station. 
“Christ, I need this,” Sydney grumbles, her head throbbing from a few too many drinks the night before. 
She’s exhausted from the weekend and knows she stayed out a little too late last night. This morning’s wake up call for the airport was less than pleasant, and she’s just glad that she can sleep on the plane. 
“Someone’s hungover,” you chide playfully. 
“Shut up,” she shoots back, earning a laugh from you. 
You look down at your coffee cup, immediately noticing that the name on the coffee cup is not yours. 
“Oh shit. I think I took the wrong coffee by accident,” you say, your face twisting a confused look. 
Carmy’s eager to rush to your side, taking the coffee from you, “Huh. Looks like you got switched up with… some guy named Sam?” 
He takes your cup of coffee, walking back over to the pick up station. There’s a man picking up a coffee cup with your name written on it in bold letters. Carmy chuckles realizing that you have almost the exact same order as this ‘Sam’ guy. 
“Excuse me. I think my fiance accidentally took your coffee. Are you Sam?” Carmy asks, holding out the coffee cup to the stranger. 
“Oh! I wondered why my extra double shot of espresso was missing from the-,” he starts, checking the label. “Yeah, this is it. Thanks for lookin’ out!”
Carmy gives the man a half smile, before jumping at the sound of Sydney’s voice, pitched louder and higher than normal. 
“Carmen Berzatto, something you want to share with the class? Did you just say FIANCE!?” Sydney practically shrieks, garnering the attention of the long Starbucks line adjacent to where you stand. 
“No fucking way!” Marcus exclaims, his voice booming as he grabs your left hand. “You guys are engaged?! Since when!!”
The four of you look around, noticing that your little outburst has earned an assortment of reactions from the various people in line. You’re blushing and Carmy’s face has turned a shade of pink that seems to spread all the way underneath the neckline of his white t-shirt. Suddenly, he feels overwhelmingly shy, as he focuses on not dropping either of your coffee cups. 
“I’m so sorry. We did not mean to disturb or alarm-. You know… what you guys got goin’ on this morning,” Sydney apologizes, her eyes scanning the coffee line. 
“But our best friends literally just got engaged!”
A few people in line are clapping, a few others turn to each other, whispering excitedly, while a few ‘congratulations’ are uttered in the direction of you and Carmy. 
“Fiance, huh?” you ask, under your breath. 
“Tryin’ it out,” he answers with a shrug. 
You can tell it brings him more satisfaction than he’ll ever admit – getting to call you his fiance – and Carmy can’t wait to be out of the spotlight as he quickly ushers you, Syd, and Marcus away from the airport Starbucks. As you head towards your gate, Syd and Marcus continue the berating for not telling them sooner. 
“So you guys were just gonna get engaged all privately and shit and not tell us?” Marcus teases. “Shit, man. That’s fucked up.”
“It just happened last night,” you defend yourself, before shooting Carmy a look. “And I didn’t know we were telling anyone yet.”
The blush that runs across his cheeks turns a shade darker, and you can tell that he’s completely and utterly embarrassed by all of this attention. 
“But where’s the ring? I thought you-?!” Sydney exclaims, earning a strong glare from Carmy that says ‘stop talking right now.’
“This is why we didn’t say anything,” he grumbles, cutting her off so that she can’t say anymore. As Sydney realizes she’s almost spoiled the surprise, she’s quick to course correct by laughing it off. 
“Ha! Yes, right, that’s uh-. Who needs a ring anyways?” she pivots, earning a laugh from you in response to her rather strange behavior. 
“The ring’s… a secondhand thought at this point,” you placate them, making sure your casual tone communicates your lack of expectation.  
Even though you feel like both Carmy and Sydney are being weird right now, you move right past it. You’ve never been one to need something physical to understand how much Carmy loves you. With your coffee in one hand, and Carmy’s hand in the other, you give him a reassuring squeeze. 
Ring or no ring, you were going to marry the love of your life.
*
By the time you make it home, you’re exhausted and so grateful that you had the foresight to take tomorrow off. You knew you’d wanted an extra day to prepare for the week ahead and a day to spend with Carmy on his day off. 
Carmy, your fiance. 
You get butterflies just thinking about it. 
After a long weekend of cooking, exploring – not to mention casually getting engaged – you’re ready to do fuckall for a day and a half before your work week starts. You figure out what you can push to tomorrow: grocery shopping, a few chores here and there. You find yourself curled up on the couch with Aioli, who seems like she’s genuinely missed you as she cuddles up to you. She bumps her soft head against your shoulder, before curling up into the sweetest little croissant next to you on the couch. 
You flip through your phone, scrolling through some social media app as you hear a chaotic rustling sound coming from your bedroom. Seconds later, Carmy comes bursting back into the living room, phone in hand. He looks worried, prompting you to ask:
“Everything alright?”
“Ffffffffuck!” he exclaims, frustratedly. “Just got a text from Fak. Emergency at the restaurant, babe.” 
“Shit,” you swear.
“I gotta take care of this,” he admits with a huff. 
“Right now?” you ask, unable to hide your disappointment that after fifteen minutes of being home, he’s already rushing back to work.
He shoots you a remorseful look before saying, “Yeah.”
“Can’t leave for the fuckin’ weekend without something going to shit,” he mutters under his breath. 
He knows he’s laying it on thick. 
“Okay,” you resign yourself. 
“Will you be home for dinner?”
“Think so,” he says, almost as a consolation. “I’ll shoot you a text when I work this shit out.” 
You nod in understanding. 
“I don’t have the energy to go to the store today. Thought I’d pick something up from the Thai place across the street we like,” you suggest.
“Sure,” he nods in agreement, urgently. 
You know he’s in a hurry, noticing as his eyes flicker from you to the door, then back to his phone. 
“Okay, last thing: I uh-, before you go,” you begin. 
You watch as Carmy’s face softens. He knows how much you were looking forward to spending the afternoon with him. He only feels a little bad about the fact that he’s totally pulling one over on you. 
“I’m gonna meet up with Natalie for a walk later. Are you… cool if I tell her?” you ask, checking in.
He waits a beat before nodding, “Uh. Yeah. She’ll probably kill me if we don’t.” 
“Right, and, our friends kind of told an entire Starbucks line at an airport so…” you reply playfully. 
He gives you a half smile and you can see he’s preoccupied with whatever emergency is happening at the restaurant. 
“Okay, that’s all I have. Love you, Bear,” you say, letting him know he can go. 
“Love you,” he replies, before leaving the softest goodbye kiss on your lips. 
And he’s off, hurrying out of your apartment like a bat out of hell. 
Only there’s no emergency at the restaurant. 
He just needed an excuse to get out of the house and get the ring. Your ring. He’s been blowing Richie’s phone up all day, every chance he had. Every moment he thought you weren’t looking, he’d send a string of texts to Richie: asking him where he’d be, if he could grab it at home, bring it to the restaurant. 
Carmy walks briskly towards The Bear. He wonders if his quick pace is a symptom of his nerves. Last night’s conversation had been so casual, and it’s not like you were going to change your mind. But there was something about doing it again – doing this properly – that made him feel antsy. 
When he arrives at The Bear, he enters through the back of the restaurant, marching right into the kitchen. He knows that the staff on shift should be prepping for dinner service, ready to reopen for dinner within the hour. 
“What’s goin’ on, Carmy? Thought you wouldn’t be in till Tuesday,” Angel says as soon as he sees Carmy. 
“No, yeah, we just got back,” Carmy says back, sending Angel a half smile as a greeting. “Just uh, pickin’ up something from Richie.” 
“He left for a few earlier, but… think he’s back? Think he’s out there,” Angel nods towards the front of house, before returning to what he was doing previously.
Carmy’s eyes scan the back of house before calling out, “Yo, cousin!”
Moments later, the taller, pure pain-in-the-ass of a man’s bursting through the double doors that lead to the dining area. 
“There he is! The man that’s been blowin’ up my phone all day!” Richie shouts back, making his way into the kitchen. “Thought I’d have to get a restraining order, ya fuckin’ lizard.”
“Do you have it or what?” Carmy snaps, getting right to the point. 
“Hello to you too, Carmen,” Richie replies. 
Carmy rolls his eyes as Richie glares at him. 
Richie’s face falls with a sigh. He’s not going to give his cousin a hard time – not today. 
“Yeah, ‘course I do,” Richie says, pulling the small box he’s been holding onto all weekend out of his pocket. 
“Jeff! How was New York, baby?” Tina asks, as she approaches the both of them. Her eyes widen as soon as she sees what Richie’s holding. 
“Oh shit.”
“Right?” Richie exclaims, with a rousing laugh. “Carmen’s finally lockin’ it down, T! Just like ya told him.” 
“Watcha guys lookin’ at? Hey! Welcome back, Bear!” Fak greets, interrupting the conversation by joining in. 
“This son of a bitch is about to be the luckiest man alive. Can’t believe the broad hasn’t left your ass yet,” Richie says, encouraging Carmen in the only way he knows how to. 
“Ooh let me see,” Fak says, reaching out to grab the ring box. 
Fak opens the box, seeing the shiny engagement ring, his eyes widening as soon as he realizes what’s going on. 
“Wow, Bear. You think she’ll say yes?” Fak asks, excitedly, as he hands the box back to Carmy. 
Tina glares at him while Richie shouts something along the lines of, “You really wanna put that in his fuckin’ head, you fuckin’ stroke?”
“First of all, I’m not a fuckin’ stroke. And second of all-!” Fak shrugs. 
“Uh, first of all. You are. And second of all, of course she’s gonna say yes you fuckin’ waste of space,” Richie interjects, protectively shutting any notion that you’d say ‘no’ down. 
“Very nice, Jeff,” Tina compliments, admiring the ring. She exchanges glances with Carmy. “Very nice. I think she’s really gonna like that.”
Carmy smiles at the sound of Tina’s approval. As much as he’d like to take credit for picking out a beautiful engagement ring all by himself, he’d asked Sugar to go with him a few weeks ago. She’d been surprised he asked in the first place, but he’d wanted to get it right, and knew he’d want a second opinion. It wasn’t till Sydney caught wind of his plans that she insisted she join in, adding a third opinion to the mix. 
Surprisingly, it hadn’t been a ‘too many cooks in the kitchen’ scenario – both his sister and his work-wife acting as his biggest cheerleaders. 
“Alright you fuckin’ replicants. Let’s get back to work,” Richie orders, shooing Tina and, especially Fak, away. 
He makes sure no one else is listening before he leans in, patting Carmy on the back a few times while he says:
“You got yourself a good thing. Proud of you..”
“Thank you, cuz,” Carmy replies, with a shake of his head. “And thanks. For holding onto this for me. 
Richie starts to back away, pointing a finger at Carmy, “Don’t fuck it up.”
Carmy shakes his head. 
He’s really going to try not to. 
While Carmy makes a quick trip to the grocery store before heading home to set up his surprise for you, you’re across town with Natalie. Not a bad alternative, you think to yourself. You’ve picked up a coffee for you, and a matcha latte for her, as the two of you wander alongside the River Walk. 
“I’m dying for a cup of coffee,” she whines, dissatisfied with the grassy green liquid in her cup. “This whole tea thing really isn't doing it for me and I can’t decide if I like or hate matcha so I just keep drinking them to see.”
“Yeah I-, I do not envy you. While I do really enjoy matcha, no amount of matcha lattes will ever hit like coffee,” you commiserate with your soon-to-be sister in law. “How’ve you been feeling?”
“Like garbage,” she exhales an exasperated sigh, woefully. “Don’t get me wrong. Pete and I have been trying to get pregnant for a while now, and I’m so happy…!”
“But I’m also exhausted and my boobs feel huge,” Sugar continues, and you can hear how tired she is in her voice. “The whole first trimester, I don’t think I slept through the night and I spent every single morning just emptying any contents of my stomach into the toilet. My clothes are starting to fit differently which is… well, it is what it is… and on top of it all, I’m seriously craving the strangest things.”
You chuckle, “Sounds like a nightmare.”
“Yeah it’s… it’s super weird. But enough about me and my swollen boobs…” she agrees. “How was New York? I saw some of the pictures on your instagram… it looks like you guys had a great time!” 
It’s the perfect segway for you to tell her the news, so you take a sip of your coffee, suddenly feeling a little nervous and also excited to tell her. 
“Yeah, so uh, that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about,” you start, some of the nerves trickling into the way your voice sounds.
“Oh god. What’d he do?” Sugar asks back, instantly. 
You laugh, quick to reassure her, “No, it’s not like that! New York was… really great.”
You take a beat before continuing. 
“It was kinda weird too. I think… just because we have so many memories there, yknow?” you begin, a small hesitancy in your voice that Natalie instantly detects. She listens as you both continue your walk, coffee cups in hand. “And I think it made us both think… about what we want… from our relationship…”
“Okay…” she trails off, her ears practically perking up as soon as she knows where this conversation could be going. 
You stop your walk, turning to face her. 
“And we talked… and… decided that….”
“Carmy and I… are getting married,” you say, unsure of how you’re so cool and level-headed as you say it. 
“Shut up!” she exclaims, grabbing for your left hand almost instantly. 
“We’re not-, we don’t have a ring yet,” you’re quick to explain, as she shoots you a look. Her eyes flicker from your ring finger, then back to your face. She knows he has the ring, and the fact that you’re not wearing it right now means he didn’t bring it to New York with him. 
She’ll let him off the hook. Just this once. 
“That soft shitty bitch,” she sighs, with an eye roll. “I could kill him for not doing it for real but… I know it’s your style.”
“Right.”
“Oh my god! You and Carmy are getting married!!” she squeals. This may be the best news she’s gotten since she and Pete found out they were pregnant. “I mean. Took him long enough.” 
You roll your eyes playfully, “Sounds like we’re finally gonna be sisters-in-law.” 
“Finally!” she repeats with a laugh. 
You spend a little more time with Nat at the River Walk, before the both of you stop to get a snack. Sugar’s totally honest with how strange her cravings have been as you stop at a convenience store for pickle chips, a pop, and a pack of twizzlers. You decide to try her very strange combination of snacks, just to hold you over before dinner. 
As you make your way home, you notice that the days are getting longer. The sun is still high in the sky and it reminds you that summer is almost here. It’s wild to think about. Your trip to New York hadn’t just gotten into Carmy’s head. It’s had you in yours too. It’s strange to think that, this time three years ago, Carmy was but a painful memory: your best friend who’d just left town, your best friend who couldn’t bother to call you back, your best friend who had broken your heart because maybe, just maybe, you were in love with him. 
And now, thanks to a one week trip to Chicago that set it all in motion, you’re marrying him. 
You thank your lucky stars that he managed to work up the nerve to call you that Fall – that he managed to swallow his pride and ask you to come help out with this new restaurant he was working on. 
You take the long way home, enjoying your own company too much. You figure you’ll take a shower when you get home, change into your comfiest clothes, then head across the street to order dinner before Carmy gets home. You hadn’t heard from yet, which only told you that the emergency at the restaurant was most likely a big one. You expect for him to be gone most of the night, crawling into bed while you’re half asleep after scarfing down reheated leftovers. You weigh your options –  how you’d like to spend the night by yourself:
Trash TV. Snuggling up with Aioli. Maybe even doing a load of laundry. 
As you turn your key in the door, you hear a clamoring of pots and pans. 
But Carmy hadn’t texted you. 
He wasn’t home already, was he?
You push the door open, pulling your keys out of the door, before placing them into the dish that sits on the end table right by the front door. 
“Carm?” you question, as you hear movement in the apartment. 
You can smell the scent of boiling water, cured pork, and soon enough, you spot one of your clear, glass bowls filled with a tomato passata. The sight stops you in your tracks. He’s got his french-laundry-blue apron on, because, of course, he’d wanted some for the house too. You watch as he moves around the kitchen, his attention focused on chopping up half of a red onion. Carmy must’ve lit every single candle that he could find in the apartment and scattered them around your living space before you’d gotten here. 
Aioli seems transfixed by the revolutions of the vinyl Carmy’s put on as the record, perched on the windowsill next to your record player. The turntable slows to a halt, signaling that it’s time to flip it over.
You’re speechless.
“Carmy, what’s going on?” you ask, looking around the room. 
“Babe, can you flip the record over?” he asks, motioning towards the windowsill. 
“Uh…” you manage to get out, setting your bag down by the entryway. You make your way over to alcove, moving the needle back to its place, before flipping over the record. As you glide the needle back onto Side B, the sounds of Louis Armstrong boom throughout your living room. 
“I thought-, what happened at the restaurant?” you stammer through, watching him in your open kitchen. “I hadn’t heard from you I just thought-.” 
But you don’t have the words, feeling caught off guard, because whatever’s happening in your apartment right now feels big. 
Carmy reaches a stopping point, setting his knife down, and making his way to the sink to wash his hands. He’s not going to propose to you (again) while his hands smell like onions. Your eyes are glued to him as he removes his apron, before setting it down on the counter. 
“Surprise?” he says, almost apologetically. 
“Oh,” you say back, as if you’ve forgotten the entire English language. 
You’re not sure why tonight feels big, but it does. Maybe it’s because you got engaged last night. 
Yeah, maybe it’s that. 
But Carmy’s not one to make a big romantic gesture, so you’re not sure what’s going on. 
“Good ‘oh?’” he asks, his eyes wide as he stares at you. 
“Uh. Yeah,” you say, your words finally coming back to you. “I thought you weren’t going to be home till late. I-, I hadn’t heard from you so I guess I wasn’t expecting you to be home.”
He smiles sheepishly. 
“There wasn’t actually an emergency at the restaurant,” he states, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. 
He’s not sure why he’s nervous. He’d asked you last night and you’d said yes. 
But nonetheless, this feels different. 
“Oh,” you repeat. 
At this point, you’re not sure you’re supposed to be saying anything, so you wait. You examine the face of your very nervous boyfriend – fiance – as he looks down at the floor, his hands fumbling for something in his pocket. 
“You’re my best friend and the love of my life,” he starts, and he hopes you can’t hear that his voice is shaking. “And I-, well, I wanna do this for real.”
Carmy pulls a small box out of his pocket. 
“Woah,” you say, your eyes widening as soon as you see it. . 
“I know you already said yes, but… I didn’t have this with me. So,” he continues, his face red as he drops to one knee. 
“Holy shit, Carmy.”
You swallow because the way that he looks at you takes your breath away. 
“Marry me?” 
You can’t help it as tears spring to your eyes. He opens the ring box, and you gasp, seeing the most ‘you’ ring possible. This feels so different than his ask last night, and both proposals feel equally true to both your relationship. You reach for him, pulling him back up to you as you say:
“Yes, Carmen. And yes, again. Let’s fucking get married.”
And Carmy’s leaping to his feet, pulling you into the warmest, passionate embrace. You pull away, just far enough to grab his head and kiss him, pressing your lips to his even through your smiles and giggles. 
“Thank God,” he sighs, causing you to laugh as you pull away from him.
“Did you think I’d say no after I said ‘yes’ last night?” you ask with a laugh. 
He shakes his head, looking at the floor, “It just feels more real with the ring, you know? Speaking of.” 
And finally, he pulls the ring out of the box he holds in his hands. With your hand in his, he slides the delicate engagement ring on your ring finger, and you shake your head in total disbelief. 
“Carmy this is beautiful. Did you pick this out yourself?” you ask, holding out your hand to admire the ring.
“I… had some help. Syd and Sugar actually…,” 
You nod in response. Of course Sydney and Natalie had helped. And it explains the weird comments all day long about him not having a ring. 
“You did good, babe. So good,” you compliment, admiring the ring that sits so perfectly on your ring finger. 
“Yeah?” he asks. 
“Oh yeah,” you reassure him, grinning ear to ear. 
And finally, he leans in and kisses you, crashing his lips against yours. It’s then that you realize how nervous he is, his face hot with excitement. His lips move against yours, leaving a few long, passionate kisses before he pulls away slowly. His forehead is pressed against yours as he whispers:
“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Taking a more playful approach you giggle:
“And I can’t wait to be Mrs. Carmen Berzatto.”
“Shut up,” he smirks.
“You love it,” you say back. 
“I do,” he declares. “I love you.”
Carmy sits you down, and you watch as he makes you an amatriciana. You know that food is the way he shows you love – the way he knows how to communicate. You’re practically blushing as you watch him create the sauce for the pasta, your eyes admiring your very hot fiance, and the stunning ring he’s just put on your finger. He smiles to himself, hearing you type away on your phone as he moves around the kitchen. You’ve, of course, gotta spread the word and let Sydney and Sugar know that you’re grateful for their help. 
As Carmy continues to make dinner, you find a good place to pause your ‘we just got engaged’ PR campaign. You turn your phone ‘do not disturb’ so that you can focus on just being here with him. It’s then that it dawns on you: you get to watch him do this for the rest of your life. Carmy, your best friend, with all of his little neuroses, all of his quirky tattoos, those brilliant blue eyes of his, and his tender heart that you’d protect at all costs… he’s yours forever. 
And you, his. 
And you think to yourself, that maybe, this was always how it was supposed to be.
fin.
*
a/n: while the story is done, there is a lovely bonus smut scene called 'it's perfect, chef' that picks up right where this chapter left off.
taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila @cool-girl-is-hot @nunya7394 @galaxyprincess51-blog @carmensberzattos
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bts-trash-blog · 2 years ago
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Best Of Us Hidden Moments
A Moment Between Chapter 20 and 21: So You’d Want More
Summary: just little moments that I thought up after posting a chapter or just didn't flow like I wanted to
Pairing: Rap Line X Fem!Chubby Omega!Reader
Warning: A/O/B!Vers, angst, fluff, smut(all the warnings on the main story tbh)
AN: No taglist as of now for this little sub-series of Best Of Us. Wanna mainly focus onto the main story. Will be trying to post this in between chapter in no logical order tbh they're just gonna be tossed out there. 
...._.Next
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You were nervous-fingers typing away on an essay that you honestly had no clue on how to write. Yet here you were-winging it- teeth slightly grinding and you swear you were sweating. Yoongi was typing away his eyes casting to the paper files then back to his desk top- after he had asked you out on a date you had instantly fallen into a slightly awkward yet comfortable silence. You had finished what little work Jin had given you- having argued that you could handle more yet the older Alpha shook his head and huffed that you had a paper to write. An economics paper- the dreaded paper one that you only had a title page for and nothing else. The five page paper that was due by the end of the night. You were at this point just bullshitting half of the stuff you were writing and you couldn’t help the anxious laughter as you suddenly dropped your head down into your arms. Groaning.
“Pup?” Yoongi mumbles, making you shake your head as your laughter slightly grows as you move to sit back up as you look at him- his head slightly tilting as his slick back hair slightly moves as he sits back away from his computer. His eyes were moving from you to your computer screen and his smile grew as he watched you pout. “What is it?”
“I hate Economics-and yeah I get it it is very important for this career but still- it feels pointless.” You ramble as he chuckles “And this paper-this paper is literally gonna drive me to jump out your window- I don't understand the topic I was given let alone whatever-that mess I’ve written.” You finished with a huff, eyes closing arms crossing over your chest as you hear him inhale- the sound of his chair rolling right next to yours, his body heat radiating off of him onto you as his arms slid across the back of your chair, the other gripping your laptop and scrolling up.
“Let me see if I can help.” He mumbled making your nod as you unconsciously leaned your head against his shoulder making him tense up slightly-which in turn made you inhale and lift your head. Though his hand lands on your shoulder and slides up your neck making you look over as he smiles at you.
“Sorry I just wasn't ready for that, come back here." he whispered, making you smile as you moved to rest your head back on his shoulder. His hand is still pressing against your neck- his thumb running against your scent gland as he reads through your works-half chuckling at certain parts and then he stops and removes his hand from your neck, sliding it under you and reaching around to the keyboard to delete and retype a sentence. “That was worded horrible-how are you a senior in college.”
“I'm second in my class.”
“If they saw the sentences that would change everything.” He mumbles a teasing tone as you smack his leg making him chuckle as you feel lips press to the top crown of your head. “Also if this is you bullshiting I really want to read a paper of yours actually trying. I can see why you’re top of your class.”
“Second.” You grumbled making him huff as he stopped scrolling and moved his hand to your thigh.
“I know the only reason why you’re second and not first is because you’re an omega-so you to me are top of the class.” His words had your face heating up- your mind going hazy as you let out a soft purr like sound making him chuckle as you pull away and clear your throat, though he doesn't let you get far. “Hey-hey look at me-well hello there baby.” he muttered when seeing how dilated your eyes were-it had you closing your eyes, hands reaching to cover your face but his hands caught your wrist. “Oh no don't hide.” He chuckled his minty breath fanning your face as you felt the tip of his nose against yours as his lips gently brush against yours. “You’re fucking adorable.” he mumbled arms wrapping around you after he had turned your chair towards him. His nose brushed into your hair as you awkwardly bent forward.
“Small.” you whispered, making him chuckle again as he pulls back hand moving to your neck, thumb at the base of your chin as his pointer fingers brushes against your ear. It had you whining as he smiled at you. “Stopppp.” You whine making his laughter grow even more.
“Comeback-then we’ll work on this paper together okay? I’ll be your wall to bounce ideas off of.” nodding you let yourself breath-closing your eyes as you tried to focus on you. The way your clothes move against your skin, your hair was being slightly tugged at by the hair tie-the way his skin burned yours. It had you opening your eyes and blinking rapidly as you huff at the Alpha in front of you-his half gummy smile as his brown eyes stared into you. The feeling of his hand back at the base of your neck-brushing agasing against your scent gland really wasn't helping you ground yourself.
“Stop.” You grumbled, arms moving to push his hand away as he bites a laugh- his head shaking as he dropped his hand from your neck-though the moment his body heat wasn't against yours you felt this overwhelming feeling of sadness-of fear. His eyes widened as your sweet  cookie scent started to burn as he quickly moved back in front of you-hand placing itself right back at the base of your neck, thumb moving across your skin as he pressed his forehead against yours. It had your scent changing- sweetening back up as he chuckles at you.
“Though you knew how to control your drops without an Alpha." His teasing words came after a couple of minutes of the two of you justin sitting there-it had you huffing eyes opening-mind clear as you pushed his hand off of your neck as you stuck your tongue out at him.
“Don’t make me rethink going on that date.”
“Oh no whatever shall I do-” he mumbles sarcastically, making you swat at his arm as he let out a soft chuckle as he grabbed the bottom of your chair moving his legs apart so he could roll you and your chair between them. Squishing your knees in the process. “My little Alpha heart can’t take the thought.” He pauses, eyes locked with yours as his hands resting on your thigh as you let out a shaky breath-his hand sliding up your thigh the feeling of his warm calloused hand against your skin had you shivering. Your inner omega rolling on her back- submitting- yet you fell frozen. “Of you not with me tonight.” He mumbled his fingers drawing shapes as he kept his eyes locked on yours. “Just pains me to my core.” His lips suddenly touch yours, his hand squeezing as you let out the most drawn out whine you’ve ever heard. It had him chuckling as he pulled away.
“Why’d you stop?”
“So you’d want more.” He shrugged, making you huff as he pushed you back to your original spot. Rolling next to you as he smiled at you. “Now let's get this paper finished.”
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delusinaldreamer19 · 3 months ago
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Vent/Rant incoming. Feel free to disregard.
(But also maybe don’t, idk)
Something that’s become apparent to me as I’ve posted more frequently on Ao3 is just how disheartening it can be to feel like I’m performing for a silent crowd.
Dgmw, it is very much that I am just a sensitive & insecure person by nature. (I’m incredibly embarrassed abt posting this, but again, just venting.) And its not that I’m trying to directly beg for ppl to read and comment on my works, but I am sort of…indirectly doing that.
I just can’t help but feel a bit like ‘what am I doing wrong?’ I’ve both intentionally and unintentionally written a decently wide verity of fanfics for Kuro, whether it’s shorter oneshots or longer multi chapter fics, as well as tonally with things being funny, sad, mysterious, contemplative. I try and pay attention to what gets the most interaction so that I know what people are most interested in reading. But even with doing that, I can’t really tell. Like I want to write stuff that people enjoy reading, but it sometimes feels impossible to tell if I’m doing that.
(Pls excuse me, I’m about to start very much complaining)
I don’t even know why I tend to feel that way, I’ve got six stories posted and half have over 1000 hits (two that are over 2000 hits). But again, I’m a horrifically insecure person with an adhd brain that never shuts up.
I know that I’m doing nothing but preaching to the choir when I say ‘authors really want you to comment on their works!!’ And it’s not that I don’t ever get comments (and I swear that I am extremely thankful for each one despite how what I’m about to say sounds), but I just feel like the nature of them is what gets to me sometimes.
I put a lot of time and effort into my stories (despite how quickly I’ve been updating), and I work really hard to write things that are well thought out, interesting, and while I don’t write smut (as of now), mature. I’ll look in other stories comment sections to see what other ppl have said about works that I’ve enjoyed, and I’ll see questions and commentary about specific things that happened in the chapter, and my works just…don’t tend to get a lot of that.
It could very well just be that my neurodivergent brain is upset about not getting that instant gratification, I get that. But I just wanna like- talk to people about my stories. I wanna have discussions about things in Kuro or things that I’ve written. I wanna hear when something I’ve created has garnered any sort of reaction. And because I don’t get a lot of that, my cursed neurodivergent and insecure brain translates it as meaning that I didn’t truly make anything that warranted a reaction.
I’m just incredibly prone to growing obsessive over things like this. I didn’t really ease into writing fanfiction over time, I sort of just hit the ground running and took off. For reference, I quite literally wrote all of my stories (a collective 146,000 words (I added it up cus I was curious)) in JUST this past year.
I’m kinda not sure what I should do. If I need to “work harder” and “do better”, or if I just need to wait for this influx of self doubt to pass. Or even take a small break from writing, which I don’t necessarily want to do since it’s still something that I greatly enjoy. But if that’s advice worth giving in regards to my predicament, then I suppose it warrants being considered.
(inhale) BUT ANYWAYS, that’s the end of my little vent session. As I said in the beginning, feel free to disregard, or don’t. I could probably use some advice tbh, but don’t want to beg for it. I haven’t had much of an active presence in fandom spaces (or really just active internet presence) for most of my life, so dealing with this sort of thing is still very new to me and I’m not really sure how to navigate it😭.
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sparklepocalypse · 3 months ago
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First Line Analysis
Big thanks to @kiwiana-writes, @energievie, and @read-and-write- for the tags here! It's been awhile since I've done something like this, and I've posted a few things since then, so here we go!
RULES: post the first lines of your last 10 fics/chapters posted on AO3 (if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics) and try to draw some conclusions.
Opening Lines, from most to least recent:
“We’ll just have to keep it very casual, of course.” Henry is an idiot. He hopes desperately that this realization isn’t written all over his face, like his every thought always is when it comes to the man sitting opposite him on the boldly colored sofa. The taste of Alex’s cum still lingers in Henry’s mouth, and he might have just prevented himself from ever getting a refresher, and — [Nobody Knows, Just We Two | Alex/Henry | E]
Each evening, Alex texts when he gets off the subway, and today is no different. Be home in ten. Love you. Missed your face. [He Drives Me Fucking Crazy; I am His Everything | Alex/Henry | E]
“Ma, seriously. I’m sixteen. I can go to the UN fundraiser,” Alex huffs, smoothing down the front of his shirt as the car rolls to a stop. “It feels like you’re dropping me off at daycare. I don’t even know these people.” [Count to Ten & Breathe Real Deep | Alex/Henry | E]
“Oh, come on,” Alex groans as traffic grinds to a halt on I-10 just outside of Norwalk. His shift starts in an hour and a half; it’s his first as a face character, and he’s going to be late if the cars don’t get fucking moving. [Love Like Yours Will Surely Come My Way | Alex/Henry | E]
The worst part about being a siren in the modern era, Henry ponders as yet another ship flies past his cove at a speed that he knows will disturb the anemone gardens below, is the yacht bros. Between the sound of their vessels’ motors and the dissonant noise the humans call music, Henry’s singing has no chance of attracting anyone’s attention. [All the Ocean Was Sleeping | Alex/Henry | E]
Alex Claremont-Diaz is sixteen years old, and he hasn’t presented. His dad seems to think it’s fine and offers Alex regular reassurance that his cousin Angel hadn’t presented until nearly 20. His mom, though, gets a little crease between her eyebrows whenever she thinks Alex isn’t looking. Presenting is a Big Deal in the Claremont family, and Alex just... hasn’t. [Late Bloomer | Alex/Henry | E]
For once, they’re not due on set until nearly noon. The night shoot at the V&A had run until nearly 1 AM, and Matthew had deliberately given the cast a recovery day, with only their Prime Video interview scheduled until that evening. It will, the Prime reps have promised, be a low pressure interview featuring some unserious activities framing an opportunity to reintroduce themselves to the world as the men bringing Alex and Henry to life. [You're the Spark That Won't Go Out | Taylor/Nick | E]
Nick can pinpoint the exact moment the line disappears. [Just Want You to Make Me Move | Taylor/Nick | E]
It’s coming. [Single Sad-Sack Seeking Same | Alex/Henry | E]
“Go win an election.” [Wrap Me Up, Unfold Me | Alex/Henry | E]
Analysis and tags behind the jump because that's already a wall of text. 😅🤣
First Line Analysis:
Not a ton of world-building in any of these first lines.
You can typically tell what sort of AU one of the more out-there AUs is going to be from the first line; Late Bloomer mentions presentation; All the Ocean Was Sleeping mentions sirens. The less outlandish AUs are less obvious.
60% of my last 10 fics make it clear whose POV you're reading in the first line.
Only one of these first lines contains a swear word; likewise, only one contains an overt reference to smut (even though these are literally all rated E).
Two of these first lines are a single sentence under five words; the remainder are... much longer.
Two of the first lines are either just a quote from the movie script or include a quote from the movie.
Four of the first lines open on dialogue, and of the rest, five are expository and one is ominous.
Tagging @eusuntgratie, @firenati0n, @hgejfmw-hgejhsf, @duchessdepolignaca03, @priincebutt,
@violetbaudelaire-quagmire, @cactusdragon517, @bigassbowlingballhead, @anincompletelist, @cha-melodius,
@orchidscript, @porcelainmortal, @thesleepyskipper, @onthewaytosomewhere, @mudbloodpotter05
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viridiave · 1 year ago
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Spoiler-heavy thoughts about Crick and how the Game Mechanics treat Temenos’s story
So. yeah if you press ‘Keep Reading’ I should probably let you guys know that these thoughts are just a tiny bit unhinged. And again - spoiler alert! You’ve been warned!!
GAME MECHANICS AND UI
- Gonna preface THIS section by asserting that yes, not EVERY mechanic needs to be taken apart under a microscope and re-contextualized into the greater lore of the game. Not EVERYTHING has to mean something to everybody. Some of my classes in game design disagree though and honestly for the genre that Octopath Traveler is, that being a story-heavy role-playing game where the narrative is half the game, I'd say that integrating lore into the mechanics and vice-versa wouldn't hurt - in fact it ENHANCES the experience. The second game does this pretty handily through the EX Skills (the first of the skills being Divine Blessings, and the second being earned at the end of the story.) and the Latent Powers.
Okay the Latent Powers? Honestly that part's mostly for Hikari. Shadow's Hold/Light's Radiance is STILL one of the best examples of Gameplay and Story Integration that this game has
No I swear I don't have a bias for 'other selves'/'deep parts of yourself made manifest' what are you talking about -
I swear I can write an entire separate post JUST about the EX Skills. Mostly for Osvald, Castti, and mOTHERFUCKING TEMENOS AGAIN
aND THIS IS WHY I GO FUCKING BONKERS WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE DEMO VERSION OF THE GAME LIKE WHAT THE FU-
- Literally the fucking emblem for Temenos's story is a staff and a sword over the Sacred Flame like - they REALLY want you to know how important Crick is to this tale
- tHE FACT THAT CRICK IS THE ONE WHO HAS COVER. NOT EVEN HIKARI OR THE WARRIOR CLASS. IT'S CRICK - DOES THIS COUNT AS FORESHADOWING???
I'll like - write here what I should have written in the bath - and that's me being like 'oh it's because he's recklessly protective. OH SHIT IT'S BECAUSE HE'S RECKLESSLY PROTECTIVE'
I fully acknowledge that it doesn't have to be that deep. MAYBE I'm pulling stuff out of my ass. But allow me to go bonkers over Crick and his for-some-reason-worryingly-appropriate moveset
Man I wonder how bonkers I'd go over Malaya if she was allowed to throw hands. I want her to complement Castti's moveset so bad
- Also the fact that both of their kits complement each other. Crick's bulkier build was made specifically with supporting Temenos in mind.
My guy's Sacred Sword reduces the enemy's elemental defense. Wonder if that implies that the Sanctum Knights normally work with magic and/or magicians
aGAIN HE HAS FUCKING COVER which is PERFECT because early-game Temenos can and will faint if a monster blinks at him too hard
Then there's his OTHER skill Godsblade's Shield which RAISES his physical defense to SO HE CAN COVER FOR TEMENOS BETTER LIKE. AT SOME POINT I SHOULD JUST ASK WHY THEY TRIED SO HARD FOR HIM SPECIFICALLY
And I mean. It makes SENSE but I don't think any of the other helper characters really had this level of chemistry in their mechanics as these two do
Emerald and Gus both have healing moves for better survivability considering how squishy Osvald and Agnea are
And it makes sense, Temenos already has access to a healing move because he's a cleric
The thing that separates Crick from them is that neither Emerald nor Gus really have moves to further support their leads on the level that Crick does. Emerald is fast and he breaks well and Gus is clearly meant to be the DPS of Agnea's Chapter 1, but again - Crick has moves tailor-made for Temenos to go off and do his thing
You lose Pirro and Scaracci/ Rai Mei and Ritsu after the intro and none of them really complement the Throné and Hikari and vice versa as much as Crick and Temenos do with each other
The difference with them too is that they have established relationships with their lead characters prior to the story, sometimes even encountered as antagonistic forces
Pirro, Rai Mei, and Ritsu are all bosses that were once considered close comrades of Throné and Hikari
Scaracci displays mutinous traits throughout Throne's Chapter 1
Emerald subverts this by acting mutinous - which, his conflict with Osvald amounted more to a sacrifice of goodwill
He knows Osvald and how he acts even prior to the beginning of Chapter 1, so he's in this category of having an established relationship
Gus averts this completely by just being a genuinely supportive part of Agnea's life
Mechanically, you never have anything to do with these characters again past Chapter 1 - save for Rai Mei and Ritsu being bosses. Hikari's companions also play an integral narrative role in his final chapter, with Ritsu being encountered as a boss again for the final time
Crick is a subversion of all of them in that he doesn't have any direct relationship with Temenos prior to Chapter 1, and though we never use him as a helper character ever again he consistently shows up as an integral part of Temenos's story up until his death in Chapter 3: Stormhail
Weirdly Crick is also the only one out of all of them where the use of Path Actions is required more than once - Osvald has to Scrutinize Emerald at one point
AND GODDAMNIT OF COURSE THE FIRST AND LAST TANGIBLE INTERACTION WE HAVE WITH CRICK IS TO FUCKING GUIDE HIM I'M SO MAD ABOUT THIS BOOKEND IT'S SO MEAN AKSJKAS
And this in itself makes complete sense given that he has larger roles to play outside of Chapter 1 - just not in the same vein as Ritsu or Rai Mei, but the fact is that Temenos's story is VERY good at establishing and building up chemistry between its characters
bUT FOR MECHANICS WE NEVER HAVE TO USE AGAIN AFTER CHAPTER 1?? THEY WENT SO HARD AND I WANT TO KNOW WHY
- It's not as big of a deal as it looks but I also find it funny just how much fun the devs seemed to have with Crick's introduction and entry into the party - using the Path Action to fucking TROLL with him.
- ON THAT NOTE, LET ME FREAK OUT OVER GUIDE AS A PATH ACTION A LITTLE MORE
I saw a post on Reddit earlier about the 'summoning townspeople' Path Actions and it kind of shook my world a little, so I'll just put my response to it here
For a guy who makes it a point to tell people not to follow anything blindly it's INCREDIBLY hilarious to me that Temenos's Path Action is getting people to follow him blindly.
MECHANICALLY, it's because he's the designated cleric. Temenos has Guide, because Ophilia has Guide. But thematically it's interesting to think about just how antithetical it is to his central creed of doubting, and how this specifically applies to Crick.
I did go back and check and yeah - Crick's one of three individual people I was able to find over the course of the stories that has a required Path Action used on them more than once.
Malaya is one other example with Inquire, and she even one-ups him with one use of Soothe. And I'll get to HER when I get to Castti's essay - I mean infodump - because it's like. Somehow even MORE heartbreaking than this instance of Guide
While I'm here I'll also mention Roque, who also has two instances of a Path Action used on him, namely Purchase and Hire in Partitio's Chapter 5
But back to the dramatic aspect of it it's like. I really want to shake the devs because it's so mean of them to have Temenos's relationship with him begin by guiding him towards not only the cathedral but to a healthier way of thinking, and to end with Crick's fucking GHOST leading Temenos to the crucial truth that he's lost so many people to find, including Crick himself
- I won't scrutinize everything about the cleric class itself but I WILL talk about the EX Skills, because to me it's ironic just how mean they are. I'm glad that the irony isn't lost on the fanfic writers like I see you guys use these as fanfic titles - bless you all
First - Prayer for Plenty, the sequel's answer to how absolutely fucking broken Saving Grace was as a passive in the first game. Limiting it to JUST Temenos's natural moveset feels like it should be sending a message honestly - it's a way to prolong the lives of his comrades and he couldn't do that for the ones he held dear in his own story. Can't help but feel like the fact that this is the one he gets from AELFRIC'S SHRINE rubs salt in the wound - no pun intended -
Secondly is Heavenly Shine and it's like. It's a holy nuke filled with divine power that drains Temenos's magic reserves completely. He invokes Aelfric's name when he uses it to and to this day I think the reason it feels cathartic to use is because it feels like a manifestation of Temenos's wrath
Unlike Osvald's own magic kamehamehadouken nuke where he learned it out of a need to protect Elena, Temenos learns this AFTER his story - and maybe it's just my concern speaking but man I really want this to represent his sheer need to go absolutely fucking apeshit like my man is NOT in a good place after his story is done
- This is the part where I go into the tinier, 'definitely stretching this past the realm of MATTERING' details that actually have something to do with the game mechanics
Some of Temenos's class lines are reminiscent of Crick's own. We've drawn the comparison with Temenos's Sweeping Cleave line already and it's adorable
Temenos Sweeping Cleave [insert handshake emoji] Crick Sacred Slash: I'll cleave you in twain!
Reaching even further here. His lines for Lux Congerere and Sacred Effulgence also somewhat invoke Crick's declaration of 'cleaving the shadows from this world', but it's not exact and I'm just indulging
Lux Congerere: Banish the shadows from this world!
Sacred Effulgence: Aelfric, banish the shadows from this world!
I'd also be extremely remiss to NOT mention the recruitment of Ort in postgame and it physically hurts me to summon him because of the way he says 'I will avenge you, Crick!' like DUDE. Oh well at least he's grieving healthily
Sacred Slash brothers let's gooo
There's like. No way that I'll be able to fit all of this in my other thoughts about Crick that are dedicated mostly to his and Temenos's arcs so. It's like not even in a ship sense anymore even if I do think they're fruity as hell
Honestly I'm just glad to get this all out of my system EXCEPT THERE'S MORE, because Temenos's story loves to torture my brain and its themes resonate with me a bit TOO much
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johnslittlespoon · 4 months ago
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HI I'M ALIVE i swear this is a pattern at this point, i post a new fic/chapter and disappear for a phat day (or two) lmaoo i literally get The Fear and i have to avoid notifs/comments for a bit <33
that being said, wept reading the comments on TAS, i'm so so thankful y'all are vibing with it because i was NERVOUS about posting my first ever modern au and i wanted to make sure it still felt true to the characters but everyone's been so unbelievably kind i'm so wahhahhhh :')) i appreciate the sweet words SO so much, it's so reassuring and so motivating <33
so motivating actually that i'm already halfway done ch2... whoops? litch rally buzzing with how excited i am to write, i don't think i've ever experienced this which sounds strange but like. okay hold i can already tell i'm gonna go on a tangent so let me cut myself off with a read more lmaoo
idk, does anyone else ever sometimes feel like even though obviously we all write fic for enjoyment because we do it for free, sometimes it feels like a chore? not in the sense that i feel obligated to write, but just that even though i feel passionately about what i want to write, it's just hard to get my brain into gear (adhd aside) even when i really want to. i'm just thinking out loudddd now but my concerta just kicked in so it's inevitable LOL word vomit and thought processing is apparently a necessary part of my writing process smh
writing yad(iym) has honestly been so helpful with this because one of the biggest things that i struggle with when writing is that i have a super vivid imagination and can picture exactly what i want to portray/convey, but sometimes i don't know how to get there, but with the dog coded fic i have the timeline of the actual show to follow, so it takes a lot of pressure off in that sense! it's sorta like filling in the gaps because i have something base level to work with.
but 99% of the time when writing, i don't have that, so i end up avoiding my docs often because i feel stuck in terms of progressing the storyline, and my writing process drags on so longgg. i'm finding too now that i'm writing my first (and second oops) actual long fic that oneshots are actually more difficult for me to finish for some reason despite most of mine being shorter than a singular chapter in my fics, which is funny because i was so terrified of commitment starting a chaptered fic but i've ended up being more consistent.
anyway point is, i adore writing yad(iym) and it's been the most fun experience i've had fic writing, but now that i've sorted out the world building aspects for tough and sweet, everything is just flowing and instead of having to sit myself down at my desk and kinda just force myself into the zone, i cannot drag myself out of my docs?? and i've never had that happen but i'm definitely trying to take advantage of it while it lasts and get as much written as possible!
i think it also helps that it's so lighthearted compared to the angst of yadiym (tho i've got some angst planned for tas too lol sry) so i don't have to think as much about the weight behind certain dialogue, or carefully plan out the progression of the relationship dynamic the way the time period/setting of yadiym requires. it's a nice breather from the constraints of the mota–verse (as much as it's still my favourite thing to read/write with these boys), but i also enjoy getting to sink back into that doc when i want something deeper than the little biker boys.
i'm still very much working away on yadiym tho to be clear!! i was scared to start tas before i finished it in case i hyperfixated on tas and my updates got slow on yadiym, but it's genuinely helped me find a balance because i'm always working on one if i'm not working on the other <3 i'm about half done ch6 too for yadiym (how many times can i type that in one post jfc), i'm just at an internal emotions heavy part which i Hate. writing lmaooo give me dialogue or smut and i can type away for hrs but introspection?? internal conflict? hell
ok that's all my fic related rambling thank uuuu/apologies if u sat thru all of that LOL lmk if your writing process/mindset is similar or not bc i'm always curious about how other people's brains work with this stuff!! also how does one get over feeling obnoxious about rambling on their own acc like. this is my acc. i could post 100 times a day if i wanted. i need to Relax good god
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try-set-me-on-fire · 7 months ago
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I read finally going water (i waited to be in the headspace and mood ) and it didn’t disappoint it was so good it made my cry at least once for chapters sometimes more you have a way with writing the emotions so tangible really I love it , you mentioned follow up stories and I’m excited I can see the all possibilities to explore , both buck and Eddie and the trauma , Chris trauma when they both come back to work , what about the Diaz siblings reconnecting and maybe another family Diaz meet up where Eddie brings buck and having to navigate the dynamic with buck officially being his boyfriend so many stuff ! I might have become obsessed with the universe lol sorry for the ramble the main thing is a love it
Thank you!!! Sorry for the distress I’m glad it was enjoyable!!
Ooh I didn’t really have anything with Chris or the Diaz siblings planned but maybe I could work them into my existing ideas… so far I have a little 4 part series of follow ups that I’ve written uh very little of. The general ideas:
- Buck gets hurt at work for the first time post cruise sinking. Eddie’s still off work and is struggling pretty badly with having survived something that should have killed him (again). Buck is really upset at being hurt because he knows it’s going to upset Eddie further. Told from Bobby’s pov going from the station to the call to taking Buck home to Eddie.
- 5 or 6 months after the sinking. Eddie pov. Buck and Eddie are getting married! Except Buck is running himself ragged and compromising on any nice ideas for the wedding he might have because he wants it to happen as fast as possible. Eddie knows its because he’s afraid about what could happen if Eddie were to die again and he wants some more paperwork tying them together and tying him to Chris, but Eddie confides in Bobby that half the time it feels like Buck is planning his funeral. Dont they just get to be in love! Dont they get their happy ending! Bobby says, of course, that he should probably talk to Buck about this. Ends with Eddie actually buying them rings to propose for real (that barely happened, it was almost a business discussion when they decided to go for it), and beyond that asks if Buck wants to go to city hall and get married the next day. Eddie insists it wont actually count, it will be a marriage on paper only, they’re going to have a long engagement and plan their real wedding as big and extravagant as they want it, but he understands Buck’s fear and wants to soothe that in whatever way he can. Buck apologizes for kind of forgetting the being in love part of wanting a wedding, and says he’d love to go not get married to Eddie.
-8? 10? Months after the sinking. Marisol is doing electrical work on her house and would love a firefighter’s guidance to make sure she doesn’t accidentally catch anything on fire or electrocute herself. But she doesn’t really want to talk to Eddie still! She’s still kind of mad at him! So she calls Buck instead (she’s also still a little mad at him but they went through it sort of together for those few awful days so this seemed the better option). Buck looks SO nervous being there like she’s going to suddenly attack or something. She kind of rolls her eyes about it. As they work he tells her they’re starting to do better, and he and Eddie are getting married. He actually admits they are already technically married and swears her to secrecy because literally no one knows except Bobby because they had to update station paperwork. Not really sure where I want this one to go i just wanted Marisol to have a chance to work through things! That all really sucked for her! I think she and buck end up as weird kind of friends.
- Around a year and a half after the sinking. A kind of bachelor party/group vacation to a lake somewhere. Everybody piled in a big rented house. Just a bunch of snippets of everyone finally doing actually okay and Buck and Eddie excited to get married for real.
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heiayen · 1 year ago
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EPISODE 7: SOMETHING SHE MIGHT LIKE... note: this chapter's written part is longer but very important, so! remember to read it
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"No offense, but how else would anyone follow you?" Lumine raised her eyebrows as she put down the plate with dumplings, "If the person got a professional camera and all, then I don't think it would be hard for them to get a tracking device and just plant it in your car."
The main topic of the dinner was, obviously, who took the photos. You couldn't blame the twins for being curious and asking questions, the case was on your mind all the time, too.
"The car was locked, Lumine. Not a single sign or anyone breaking in." Scaramouche replied, annoyance evident in his voice.
"Then how else on earth?"
This was something that also bugged you. Your boyfriend was literally swearing he saw no one following you, and yet someone did. When Lumine first proposed the existence of a tracking device, Scaramouche disagreed instantly, saying how there was no chance someone broke inside.
But you couldn't help and feel like this was possible.
"Could someone put it somewhere on the car?" You asked.
Both Scaramouche and Lumine looked at each other, and then her gaze wandered to her brother.
"…I mean, someone could put it under the car? I saw people do it."
You looked at Scaramouche. Despite his usual frown, you noticed the uneasiness underneath it. To realize that someone was constantly aware of where you were going was a terrible thing, you could only imagine. You grabbed his hand under the table and gave it a light squeeze.
He squeezed back.
"I'll check later."
This was the end of this discussion. Lumine nodded.
"Anyway, I made two kinds of dumplings because I didn't know what you'll like…" She started and pointed at the plate, "Those are with meat and these are with mushroom. Oh, and Aether has his potato filling ones."
"With potatoes?" Your boyfriend asked. Honestly, you were kinda curious about them too. You never had dumplings with potatoes, out of all fillings…
"You want some?" Aether smiled, a dumpling already on his fork.
"No."
Still, the said dumpling ended up on his plate anyway. He stared at it and, honest to god, for a second you thought its about to get stabbed with his glare alone.
"Aether, can I have one too?"
"…sorry, Y/N, I have only six dumplings left…"
You glared at him, "So this is how you treat your friend… you pick their boyfriend over them…"
"No, it's not like this!" Aether waved his hands, a hint of amusement on his face. This quickly turned into a friendly bickering between you and him.
You didn't even notice when suddenly, half of the potato dumpling ended up on your plate.
When you noticed it, you smiled at Scaramouche.
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a/n: i wonder what's the thing... anyways the dumpling lumine mentioned are actually rly good. yes im pushing my slavic twins agenda cuz i enjoy projecting. also! please if you have any comments theories whatever feel free to share them cuz i love listening what ppl think and yeah <3
MAIN POST. previous <—> next
taglist: @snobwaffles @soleillunne @ilyuu @lxkeeeee @haliyamori @yinyinggie @sakiimeo @supernova25 @cloudycloudd @d4y-dr3am3r (comment or whatever to be in the taglist, IF i forgot someone which might happen dont hesitate to remind me)
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beechersnope · 1 year ago
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Tagged by @hrhgeorgerussell to post the first sentences of my WIPs thank you!!!
OK first off: the state of my WIPs folder is dire. I literally have hundreds of docs and I am notorious for starting something 5+ years before I actually sit down and finish it. I'm gonna choose ones I'm either actively working on or actively rotating, or started semi-recently before getting sidetracked.
Some NSFW under the cut.
Welcome to My Island (F1, Max/George): Somehow, George manages to log a solid chunk of REM sleep despite his neuroses. He only has a second or two to feel relieved about this before realizing that he’s hard, and that his erection is nestled perfectly against the small of Max’s back.
This one is on AO3 already so this is from the second chapter (unfinished).
Untitled F/F Lestappen Fic (F1, Max/Charles, Charles/Lewis, Max/George):
“George, I swear to God if you move, I’ll—” Max doesn’t have an actual follow through, but the half-threat is enough to still George underneath her.
This was the very first fic idea I had for F1 so it's very messy and I didn't know where I was going with it. Now that I know more about how races work and such I'll probably come back to it.
Summer Sun & Wildfire (F1, Max/Daniel): Max was supposed to die in Las Vegas. Sometimes she wishes she had.
This was the second thing I tried writing in the fandom so still in the awkward exploration phase trying to find out what works. I do want to come back to it someday because it had a lot of potential.
Red Light Spells Danger (F1, Max/Daniel): "I wish I could tell you how it feels without telling you what I did."
Still in the rotation phase for this one so this isn't necessarily the first sentence, just the only actual sentence I've written. Everything else is vague outline.
Untitled BBQ fic (F1/Seb/Mark): Seb is sprawled out on the tiled floor of the guest bathroom with the handle of her hairbrush stuffed in her cunt when the doorbell rings.
This entire fic is just toxic filth so we'll see when/if I finish it.
Untitled Succession/Yellowstone AU (F1, Max/George, Max/Charles): “Is it mine?” Max had been dreading—anticipating—the moment when Charles would ask, but she hadn’t been expecting to be ambushed in her childhood bedroom during a nap, before George had even arrived with the rest of the Russell clan in tow, before Max had even gotten a chance to make her announcement in the first place.
This is more inspired by the above shows than a true AU. I had a lot of ideas for this but got distracted by other projects before I could put together a true outline.
These are all longer fics; the rest are first lines from some shorter fics I've half-written.
They’re two-hundred miles off the coast of Western Australia when the storm hits. “Power’s fucked,” Seb reports after emerging from the engine room looking considerably sweatier than before he’d gone in. “It’ll take a few hours to fix, but I don’t want to risk frying the backup now while we’ve still got some daylight left.” (F1, Max/Daniel/Seb/Mark/Alex/Pierre/Kvyat)
They send porn to each other sometimes. Usually, it’s Daniel who sends it, feeling a bit vulnerable, a bit embarrassed, every single time, no matter what the subject matter is. And it’s not like he sends Max anything weird—most of the time, it’s just the same old shit, a blonde girl taking a big cock, getting her pussy fingered so hard she squirts, so on and so forth. It’s normal. He doesn’t have anything to be ashamed of. (F1, Max/Daniel)
“What is this meant to be, like some couple’s therapy?” Max complains, crossing her arms over her chest with an exaggerated pout. (F1, Christian/Max/George/Toto, Good Battle continuation)
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hi guys i’m a little drunk and a little sad so pls ignore my rambling, here’s a writing update
yall i’m sorry i haven’t posted any fanfic-y things lately and i’m sorry TMHYHM hasn’t updated in a while (literally 6 months) i swear i have things written
TMHYHM 8 is almost all the way written i promise, i’m struggling so much with the last little bit of the chapter
the “minyard triplets” AU is also almost finished, i have literally a scene and a half left but the WORDS don’t want to WORD RIGHT and i regret learning how to write
i’m being dramatic both of those projects are going to be great once they’re finished, i’m so obsessed with them and i know y’all will be too, but oh my god. writing is??? so hard???
in other writing news, i have eleven (11) other WIPs that have taken a backseat for the moment but i feel you should still be aware of. in no particular order:
a neil dies (but fr this time) AU because i can’t control myself
soulmate AU (obsessed with this one)
kevin in the nest (pre/canon timeline)
tangled AU (so fun. neil is flynn, i’ll let y’all figure out the rest)
break up/make up fic (because i love to cause us all pain)
a 5 + 1 (five times neil can tell the twinyards apart and one time he can’t)
fantasy AU (in the universe of the fantasy book i’m actually writing)
perfect court AU (it came to me in a dream, literally)
high school AU (cause i love those SO. MUCH.)
a guardian angel (sort of) fic
an alternate universe collection fic (bunch of oneshots that could become longer stories if people like them)
the last five are all multi-part fics so those aren’t coming any time soon, but i’m excited about them anyway.
okay the writing news is over so you can tune out now if that’s all you’re here for, but i have more to say.
guys, writing is fucking hard. i’m not joking. i love writing with all my heart, and i love writing for this fandom, but ya boi is STRUGGLING
i’m not exactly… well? right now? my mental health has been on a serious downward spiral, and the words have just not been coming to me easily these past few weeks.
to blame for this, please see:
my (now ex) best friend for ditching me after six years
my OCD behaviors keeping me up all night
my mother
my chronic stomach pain
and much more!
listen, guys. i’m really sorry. i wanted to have something out for y’all last week, but it just didn’t happen. i wish i could tell you when i’ll be posting my work again, but i don’t know. i’m trying really hard to get shit done, but it’s not always that easy.
thank you all so much for your patience and kindness, i truly don’t deserve you guys. i feel genuinely so awful.
like i said, a little drunk and a little sad. thanks for reading anyway <3
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becca-alexa · 2 years ago
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Ride the Lightning
Chapter Four: Sanctuary
Read on AO3!
01 ┋ 02 ┋ 03 ┋ 04 ┋ 05 ┋ 06 ┋ 07 ┋ 08 ┋ 09 ┋ 10 ┋ 11 ┋ 12 ┋ 13
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Original Female Character
Summary: The time for all things spooky and scary has befallen Hawkins, and Steve's throwing his annual Halloween Spooktacular - can Eddie convince Veronica to go?
Word Count: 4.5K
Content Warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption, intoxication
Author's Note: how much candy does one get on Halloween, anyway??
and thank you thank you thank you @rollforhellfire for putting up with me by reading this you're literally the best 💗💗💗
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    For what, he swore, had to be the hundredth time, Steve tried to recall what in the Halloween-colored Hell had possessed him to let Eddie Munson - of all people - go grocery shopping with him.
    The impeccably-organized aisles of the local Piggly Wiggly were, for the most part, vacant, mainly due to the time of day. Steve walked along at a snail’s pace, his attention split between keeping Eddie in his line of sight and actually finding the things he’d written on his list.
    “Dude, you’re supposed to be helping me.” Steve said with a groan, pinching the bridge of his nose as Eddie stuffed yet another case of alcohol into his shopping cart, ignoring the disappointed glances passers-by were giving them, a cheshire-esque smile on his face all the while. Biting back a sigh, he added Eddie’s “helping” to the running total in his head.
    “I am - you, Sir Harrington, have shit taste in beer.” the man replied, adding one final pack for good measure before clapping his hands together, pleased with his handiwork; he barked out a laugh as Steve rolled his eyes at him. With the cart piled high with more booze than a simple holiday party could ever warrant, the pair made their way further down the aisle - chips were on the list next, then soda and disposable cups.
    “Remind me why I agreed to let you come?” In his hands, Steve held two bottles of soda, his attention occupied as he tried to pick between them; a mistake, he’d later discover, as Eddie had used the chance to sneak, among other things, two golden boxes of Honeycomb into the cart - one for him, and one to leave at Steve’s house for whenever he was there. Turning to Eddie, he frowned as he plucked them both from his hands, setting them in the cart, and he pulled several more bottles from the shelf before pushing the cart down the aisle.
    “Uh… Because you love me?” Eddie replied, voice blunt as he dropped in a jumbo-pack of red Solo cups. Steve huffed out a laugh, shaking his head, stuffing his list into his back pocket as they turned another corner, his eyes scanning the shelves for napkins.
    “Sure, Munson.”
    And Eddie groaned aloud at his response, ringed hands dragging over his face. “God, you sound like Windsor.” He stopped in the middle of the aisle, nearly hitting an innocent elderly woman in the face as he waved his arms around, leaving Steve to sheepishly apologize as she scurried away. “Everyday, it’s ‘Munson’ this, ‘Munson’ that - ‘Munson, shut up’, ‘Munson, stop feasting on the souls of the innocent’.” He looked to Steve, his frustrations only barely placated by the way he saw his last remark fly over the jock’s head. “I swear - half the time, I wonder if she even knows my name.”
    “So you’re still calling her Windsor because…?”
    Steve couldn’t have anticipated the way his words would make Eddie jolt, his eyes wide with sudden realization, a vibrant flush working its way up from the collar of his sweater as he yanked the cart away from him, huffing as he moved into the next aisle, leaving Steve laughing by himself.
    “...Shut up, Steven.”
    Trailing behind him, the pair fell into a companionable silence as they finished the rest of their shopping - Steve, with his attention now turned to finding an open register, and Eddie playing Steve’s words on a constant, dizzying loop. In fact, he was so absorbed in his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Steve was speaking to him.
    “Hello? Eddie?” Steve asked, waving a roll of paper towels in front of his face as he set them on the register belt. “You still with me, man?”
    The metalhead blinked, as though hearing him for the first time. “H-Huh…?”
    Steve shook his head, moving to the end of the register to start returning the scanned packs of beer into the cart. “Y’think you could bring Veronica to the party for me?” he asked, oblivious to the horror flashing across Eddie’s face. “You see her more than I do.”
    “What? No.” Eddie was quick to give a response, the underlying urgency in his voice forcing Steve’s head away from the register. “Why’re you inviting her?”
    “Because she’s my friend…?” Steve said, counting out several twenty-dollar bills before passing them to the cashier.
    “She probably won’t even want to go.” He kicked at the wobbly cart wheel, hands stuffed into the pockets of the jacket he’d borrowed from his uncle.
    “Wouldn’t kill you to ask.” Steve accepted the change from the cashier and pushed the heavy cart toward the door, Eddie trudging a few paces behind him as the pair made their way to Eddie’s van - Steve’s suggestion, as they’d be needing the space.
    “Still-”
    “What’s the big deal, Eds?” Steve asked, trying his best not to snap as he nearly dropped a case of beer on his foot, waiting for Eddie to open the door so he could start unloading the cart. “Not like she bites. Do you not want her there or something?”
    Eddie let out a groan, forehead connecting with the chilled side of the van as he fished through his pockets for his keys. “‘S not that, it’s just…” Whatever confusing slurry of emotions, whatever chaos the name Veronica Windsor wrought upon his mind, he knew he couldn’t tell Steve. Not yet - not when he wasn’t entirely sure of them himself. He was silent as he helped with moving their purchases into the back of the van; he even offered to return the cart to the corral, just for an extra moment to gather his thoughts. So, jumping into the driver’s seat, hands clenched nearly to the point of pain around the steering wheel, Eddie finally conceded, “I’ll talk to her.”
    “Thank you.”
    “You owe me a beer, Harrington.”
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    “Alright, Munson - spill it.”
    Eddie sprang up, hair falling about his face, rose-colored cheeks betraying his desperate attempt at nonchalance as he looked at Veronica. He hadn’t realized he’d been bouncing his leg hard enough to shake the counter, or that he’d already chewed through three of his pencils - Veronica noticed it all, and she was familiar enough with him to know that he had something on his mind.
    “W-What?”
    “Out with it.” She leaned back in her seat, arms crossed over her chest. “Whatever you need to tell me, just say it.”
    He rolled his eyes, his grin forced as he ran his hands over his thighs to keep her from seeing how badly they trembled. “Who says I-”
    His voice faded at the sharp look she gave him, and he groaned, head falling into his upturned palms.
    “Fine.” he mumbled, unable to bring himself to look at her. “Christ, I… A-Are you busy this Saturday?” He waited a moment, then another, her prolonged silence enough to force his head up. He tried his best not to wither under her searching gaze.
    Slowly, she replied, “Depends.”
    “Is that a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’?” Eddie asked, his voice coming through louder than he’d meant it to.
    “It’s a ‘maybe’.” She wouldn’t admit she enjoyed watching him squirm in his seat, but she had enough mercy to not prolong his suffering. “Why’d you ask?”
    “Harrington’s having this Halloween Spooktacular thing or whatever.” he explained, gaze dropping to the pile of chewed pencils near his worksheet, hands moving as he spoke. “Dude throws this huge party every year. If you want to go, I… I wouldn’t mind giving you a ride.”
    “Munson-”
    “Forget it - it’s stupid anyway.” Eddie was quick to interject, shaking his head as he fumbled with the papers atop the counter. “I’ll tell him that-”
    “No, hold on.” With just a hand laid atop his, she’d stilled his nervous jittering, forcing his eyes to hers. After a beat of silence, she continued, “I’m not busy Saturday.”
    “You… You’d actually want to go?”
    “Sure, it sounds like fun.” She pulled her hand away, elbows coming up to rest atop the counter, hands tucked beneath her chin as she turned toward him. “What? Don’t look so surprised - I have a life, y’know.”
    “Do you?” Eddie said with a smile - a genuine one, his nerves finally beginning to settle. “I don’t think I’d recognize you without a textbook smushed against your face-”
    “Ha ha, aren’t you just a gas.” she replied, rolling her eyes, turning her attention back to the assignment at hand. “Should I wear a costume?”
    “If you want.” He leaned in toward her, pulling a fresh pencil from her Trapper Keeper and ignoring the annoyed swat on the arm she gave in return. “I’m taking the kids trick-or-treating before, so it’s your call.”
    “Are you dressing up?”
    “Curious, are we?” He gave her a devilish grin, waving the pencil in her face, poking the eraser to her nose. “Why d’ya want to know? You lookin’ to match with me? 'Cause I’ve really been digging the whole Ozzy and Sharon-”
    “Shut up, Munson.”
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    Parking his van in front of Veronica’s manicured lawn, Eddie gave himself one final look in the foggy vanity mirror, adjusting his eye patch before shoving open the door.
    “Hurry up!” Dustin said, leaning over the center console, with Mike, Lucas, Max, and the Byers brood all sharing the sentiment. “We gotta get there before all the good candy’s gone!”
    “Patience, little sheep, for your master will return in but a moment’s time.” The flourish in his words made the curly-haired boy smile, meanwhile Max rolled her eyes, turning to look at him, hands still working to fix Lucas’s costume - they’d gone matching as Bonnie and Clyde.
    “Just go, Munson.”
    Eddie shut the door behind him, his radiating confidence dripping away as he approached her front steps, and he rubbed his hands along his tattered pants before ringing the doorbell, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he made out a sudden flurry of footsteps from inside the house. The door swung open, and he squinted at the sudden burst of light.
    “You’re early.” Veronica huffed, tying off the end of her lengthy braid, pulling the thing over her shoulder. She stared at Eddie, eyes roaming his body, taking in the full… breadth of his pirate’s costume. He, too, stared at her, but he was alone in the way his body flushed with heat; he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his vest, struggling to swallow against the sudden lump in his throat.
    Realizing he’d been standing there looking like a fool, he finally managed to say, “Hi.”
    “Hey.”
    “I… uh… What’s new, pussycat?” He could have punched himself at his choice of words - why the Hell was he quoting Tom Jones, of all things? Worst of all, his stomach sank at the way Veronica’s emerald eyes widened, her mouth dropping into a frown as she spun around for him.
    “God, is it that bad?” she asked, speaking of her costume - she’d decided to go as a black cat, complete with matching ears and a fluffy tail sewn onto the back of her jumpsuit. “It’s bad, isn’t it?” 
    “No! No, it’s…” He couldn’t help giving her another once-over, trying to be as objectionable as he could. “You look cool. The legwarmers are a nice touch.”
    “Eddie! C’mon, dude!” Dustin shouted at them, his body halfway out the driver’s side window. “We need to leave!”
    Eddie shook his head, biting back a groan; Veronica couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled up at his frustration. “I swear, these kids were raised by wolves.” he mumbled to her, turning around before shouting back, “We’re having a conversation here!”
    “Well, have it over here! Candy waits for no man!”
    He shook his head, looking back around, his hand extended in offering. “Shall we, kitty?”
    With a roll of her eyes, she placed her hand in his, noting how their nail polish matched, and she bit the inside of her mouth to keep from smiling too widely as he led her toward the van.
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    Much to everyone’s relief, the streets of Loch Nora were still overflowing with candy by the time they’d arrived; led on by “Captain No-Beard” - as Eddie had dubbed himself - they picked at every house, filling their sacks and plastic grocery bags with only the crème de la crème of Halloween treasure.
    Trailing behind the boys, Max and El stuck by Veronica, laughing at how excitable they were, watching as they raced up the driveway of a particular McMansion known for giving out full-size candy bars, shouting all the while.
    “God, he’s so weird.” Max said with a shake of her head.
    “Which one?” El replied, the two collapsing in a fit of giggles.
    “Eddie! He’s just…” Max added, making a face that had the younger girl bending over in laughter.
    “Honestly? He’s not that bad.” said Veronica, stunning both girls to silence; they shared a look between them before turning to stare at her like she’d grown a second head. “He’s starting to grow on me, I think.”
    “Eddie?” Max asked, tossing her sack of sweets over her shoulder. “Eddie Munson is growing on you?”
    Veronica shrugged. “I mean, yeah, kind of.” She looked between them, the pair sharing identical, disbelieving looks. “C’mon, guys, it’s not that weird.”
    The girls gave her a look as if to say “Yes, it is”. “Are you friends now?” El asked, looping her arm through Veronica’s as they tried to keep pace with the rest of the group.
    “We are.”
    “Huh.” Max huffed.
    “What?”
    “You sound pretty happy about that.”
    Veronica rolled her eyes and ruffled up the girl’s hair, pulling a giggled shriek of protest from her. “Maybe I am.”
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    Having left the kids at Mike’s for what was sure to be a night of sugar-fueled screaming, Eddie and Veronica made the drive to Steve’s for his Halloween party, a companionable silence settling between them. Finding an open spot among the cars littering the front yard, Eddie was quick to hop out of the driver’s seat, making his way around to open the door for her.
    “Ready?” he asked, following her line of sight to the massive expanse that was the Harrington house.
    She nodded, leading the way to the door. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
    For the most part, things went well; Eddie had been right in forcing Steve’s hand into buying so much beer - the partygoers were burning through cases like they were cans of water. He mainly kept to his usual group of friends - Steve had invited all of Corroded Coffin, much to their surprise, and they spent most of the night together. Veronica stayed at the opposite end of the massive living room, her attention occupied by Nancy and Robin. But, every so often, one would be caught looking at the other, and they’d give a smile, a wave, a roll of the eyes as they made a funny face.
    As the night dragged on - and the party only seemed to grow louder with each downed drink - Eddie spotted Veronica alone near the staircase. Cup in hand, he made his way through the writhing crowd; he had to lean in toward her to ask, “You alright?”
    She nodded, but Eddie didn’t miss the way she shifted toward him. “I’m fine, it’s just… I’m kind of out of my element, y’know? This is a lot.”
    “Too loud?” he shouted, relieved to have pulled a smile from her, small as it was.
    “Something like that.”
    And, after a moment, Eddie’s hand found its way to the small of her back, leading her up the staircase - and away from all the noise.
    “Where are we-”
    “Someplace quiet.” he answered, and the pair disappeared upstairs, not realizing they had more than a few pairs of eyes clocking their movements.
    “Dude, are you seein’ what I’m seein’?” Jeff asked with a not-so-subtle nudge to Gareth’s arm as he nodded across the room.
    “Dunno,” Gareth replied, downing the rest of his beer. “You seein’ Eddie sneak off with Veronica?”
    “Yeah.”
    Thomas chimed in, “You think they’re…?”
    “Gross, dude.” Gareth answered, plucking Jeff’s cup from his hand and drinking what was left of it. “Him and…? Never.”
    Upstairs, Eddie walked through the carpeted halls of the Harrington household with certainty, more familiar with the layout of the place than she was. And, stopping in front of a door at the end of the dim hallway, she could see the bright flash of his smile as he pushed them inside.
    “Welcome to the Shire.” Eddie announced, arms wide as he spun around what Veronica was sure was the largest bedroom she’d ever seen - beyond the massive wall of windows overlooking the woods surrounding the house, the bed alone was nearly obscene in its size. Without a second thought, Eddie jumped onto it, bouncing as the mattress sank beneath him, his drink nearly spilling as he folded his arms behind his head.
    “Should we really be in here…?”
    “What, don’t want to be alone with the big bad pirate?” He sat up, crossed his legs, and tried for his best dastardly grin. “Are ye timbers shiverin’ yet?”
    “Eddie…” she groaned, but sat along the edge of the bed opposite him, still looking around the room.
    “Don’t get your whiskers in a twist, this is the guest room.” Setting his cup aside, he fell back onto the mound of pillows behind him and kicked off his boots. “So, you likin’ the party?” he asked, turning himself to face her, eyebrows drawn together in confusion as she… shrugged.
    “I’ve never…” she began, struggling to put to words what she was feeling. “I don’t really go to parties.”
    “Shocker.”
    “Munson, come on-”
    “Calm down, kitty - I’m joking.” he said; slowly, she relaxed onto the bed, only now realizing how tired she’d become. Were parties always this exhausting? “So, I’m guessing you’re not much of a drinker?” The shake of her head came as no surprise. “Smoker?”
    At her sudden pause, Eddie perked up, and his jaw nearly dropped to the floor as she nodded.
    “Christ, you’ve been keeping secrets from me!” He scrambled to his knees, moving closer to her atop the bed, giving her his undivided attention. “What’s your poison? Tobacco? Weed?” 
    “Uh… T-The second one.”
    And Eddie collapsed onto the bed, hands pressed over his face as he let out the most exasperated sound Veronica had ever heard him make. “You’re out here partaking in the Devil’s lettuce and you didn’t tell me?”
    “I tried it once, okay?” she said with a chuckle, which turned into a laugh as she caught sight of his pout. “I have a cousin back home who’s like, really big on the stuff.” Eddie watched as she laid back against the headboard, making herself comfortable. Was she comfortable around him? God, he hoped so. Not wanting to prolong the silence any further, he racked his mind for something - anything - to say.
    “You know what goes great with weed? Candy.” He pulled his hefty bag from a pocket inside of his vest, spilling its contents in front of him.
    “What?”
    “Let me see your stash.” Seeing how she was unconvinced, he continued, adding in a wag of his brows for good measure, “C’mon - show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”
    But, with their piles spread out before them, somewhere between shelling out for Skittles and counting out sticks of licorice, their light-hearted attempt at trading devolved into full-on bartering.
    “Look, three mini Milky Ways for a Kit-Kat bar does not a fair trade make, sweetheart.” Eddie groaned, hands caught in his hair as he looked at the trio of chocolates in her palm. “You got anything better?”
    “What about the Whatchamacallit?” she asked, pointing at the golden candy bar to his left. “I’ll trade you that for my M&Ms.”
    He narrowed his eyes at her, arms crossing over his chest. “And the Snickers.”
    “What? No way. How is that fair?” she asked, shaking her head, her fuzzy ears flopping around with the movement. “You can take the Junior Mints.”
    “What, like I’m eighty?” he whined, throwing his hands up. “Which house gave you those, anyway?”
    “Do you want ‘em or not, pirate boy?”
    “...Fine.” he grumbled, snatching the candy from her pile, rolling his eyes as she caught the chocolate bar he’d tossed her way. “Just know this is highway robbery. And you still won’t let me have that Snickers?”
    “Nope, that’s-”
    “Steve!” A shrill cry came from outside the window; the pair looked at each other, a beat passing between them before they scrambled off the bed, running toward the window. “Oh, for the love of- Get down, now!”
    Looking down onto the lawn, they could see Robin and Nancy waving to what they could only assume was Steve stumbling across the roof. Eddie shook his head, and calmly walked across the room for his boots before moving back to the window. Throwing it open, he’d managed to get one leg out before he felt Veronica pulling him back inside. “Hey-”
    “What are you doing?”
    “Stevie likes to climb stuff when he’s drunk.” he explained, voice flat. “Lucky for him, I can climb sober.”
    “Munson-”
    “Alright, sober-ish.”
    Veronica tightened her grip on his arm, pulling him toward her. “You’re not going out there.”
    “You worried about me, kitty? I’m touched.” He knew his smile would only infuriate her, but he couldn’t help himself. “I’ll be right back, okay? You won’t even notice I’m gone.”
    From the look on her face, she didn’t believe him. “You’re sure?”
    “Promise.” Eddie replied, and he hooked his pinkie with hers, shaking their hands to reassure her he’d be careful. Then, climbing out the window, his voice carried across the yard as he shouted, “Hey, handsome! Come here often?”
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    In the early hours of the morning, with the party having finally died down, Steve safe and secured in his bedroom, and the bulk of the mess cleaned and trash collected, Eddie and Veronica made the drive back to the humbler parts of Hawkins. She was quiet, unusually so, but Eddie chalked up her silence to exhaustion. He couldn’t blame her - he was tired, too. More than once, he’d caught his eyes falling shut whenever he stopped at the traffic lights. As the glow of her house came into view, he gave her a nudge, thinking she’d fallen asleep.
    “Rise and shine, kitty.” he said, unbuckling his seatbelt, his motion stilling at the sound of… giggles? He turned to look at her, and found her face flushed, eyes sparkling as she looked at him.
    “I had fun tonight.” she said, looking at him as though he’d hung the moon and stars. He returned her smile with a shy one of his own, a hand moving to rub at the back of his neck.
    “So did I.” he admitted, falling back against his seat. “Honestly, I didn’t think you’d want to go.”
    She made a face at him, shaking her head. “What? And miss seeing you in your Sunday best?” she asked with a gasp, a hand pressed against her chest for emphasis. “Never.”
    Eddie blinked at her, his mind wiped clean at her words. “Was that…? Was that a joke, Windsor?” he asked, disbelief clear in his voice, which only worsened when her giggles turned into full-bellied laughs. “You think you’re so funny, huh?”
    “You think I’m funny…!” she said in-between breaths, leaning over the center console to poke at his cheek.
    “I most certainly do not-”
    “You do!” she exclaimed; Eddie made a quick grab at her hand before she’d managed to shove her fingers into his mouth. “You’re smiling! I can even see your teeth-”
    Slowly, carefully, he set her hand down and closed the distance between them, taking in a deep breath, frowning when the acrid sting of alcohol reached his nose.
    “Did you have something to drink?” he asked, his tone more serious than it’d ever been with her. Again, she giggled, pulling away, her hands moving to clamp over her mouth.
    “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
    His voice began to rise - he knew that Veronica’d never had a sip of alcohol, her tolerance worse than non-existent. “Windsor, what did you have?”
    She pouted at his words, thinking he was getting angry with her. “I got thirsty while you were rescuing Steve, so I may have finished off your punch-”
    Eddie blinked at her, certain he'd left his cup nearly full. “Veronica, I laced that with vodka.” 
    “Really?” Her face contorted in disgust, the bridge of her nose wrinkling as she shook her head, stuck out her tongue. “No wonder it tasted gross. Y’like drinkin’ that stuff?”
    With a groan, Eddie shoved open his door, and Veronica jumped when he suddenly appeared at her side, reaching over to unbuckle her seatbelt. “C’mon, pussycat, out the van.” He reached for her waist, but she wriggled away from him, and he just barely caught her by the foot before she’d managed to crawl into the back.
    “Unhand me, swashbuckler!” she shouted, frowning as he kicked the door shut with his foot, holding her by the elbow in his attempt to steer her toward the house.
    “Yeah, and I’ll make you walk the plank if you don’t get moving!” he mumbled, trying not to focus on the way she’d all but melted against him. Making their way up her front steps, Veronica fumbled through her purse for her keys, back to Eddie’s front all the while. He bit back his smile at her elated laugh at finally having found the damn thing, buried deep beneath the pile of candy she’d managed to haggle from him. She unlocked the door, and he moved in close, holding her steady as he asked, “You think you’ll make it up the stairs, or do you need me to carry you?”
    She leaned into him, head pressed to his shoulder, looking up at him as she smiled, “I’ll make it. Got nine lives, remember?” He lamented the loss of her warmth as she stepped inside, leaning against the doorframe to speak to him. “And I meant what I said - I did have fun tonight.”
    “Then my work here is done.” Eddie replied, already taking a step back toward his van. “Promise you’ll call if you need anything?” he asked, watching as she nodded, her ears nearly slipping from her head.
    “Sweet dreams, Captain No-Beard.” she hiccupped, her words beginning to slur together, her smile turning into something soft, gentle - and Eddie knew it had to be the alcohol, certain she’d never have graced him with such a look otherwise.
    “Go to bed, Windsor.” he said, his voice tight, hands fisted in his pockets. “I’ll call you in the morning.”
    And she rolled her eyes at him, telling him rather plainly, “Y’know, you’d be a lot more handsome if you weren’t such a big ol’ fuddy-duddy,” before shutting the door, leaving him alone on her front steps, wondering who in their right mind still said things like “fuddy-duddy”.
    Only after he’d returned home, washed off his face paint, showered and gotten into bed did the first half of her sentence register with him, and the ensuing flush that’d swept across his body was so intense, he had to kick off his blanket to keep from overheating. 
    “She thinks I’m handsome…?”
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