#AND I KEEP GOING ON MY FFFFFUCKING PHONE

[yakulmybestfriend]

I'm achey and physically unwell and constantly on the verge of immense self hatred and EVERYTHING IS BAD pls help what is going on

[twilightofthe]

More character prompts from this post!

Did Obi Wan’s here

What does your blorbo's phone/laptop/car/backpack look like?

Padmé

Phone:

Ok so Padmé isn’t stupid, Ani, she knows what planned obsolescence is, she knows the tech industry is predatory and stupid and Apple is some of the worst, but living in a capitalist society means you have to participate in capitalism and she likes the convenience of Apple software, so she always has the newest iPhone. She likes to get them in regular silver or white.

Her phone screen has a protector on it and you BET there is no crack to be seen because her phone is very much her baby. The case for the phone is a pretty marble/geometric/metallic design that’s got decent enough ratings online in terms of protection. Maybe it has one of those little built-in slots where you can put a spare credit card or ID, and if it does, she actually uses it lol

Her lockscreen is a screenshot of her weekly schedule because she is a neurotic type-A over planner and she needs that along with her twenty million alarms and reminders of everything all the time 

Her homescreen is actually a cute picture of Anakin/Satine/Sabé/Obi Wan/whoever she’s in a relationship with, or if she has Luke and Leia it’s Luke and Leia. All her apps are meticulously organized into categorized boxes and everything is positioned on the screen so you can actually see the homescreen background and everything is accessible

She has no less than five different email apps. She checks all of them meticulously.

And this is just her personal phone, it’s not even the phone she keeps for work lmao

Laptop:

Pads also has the latest up to date MacBook Pro.

She’s like Obi Wan and she keeps a cleaning cloth for the screen because the dirty screen CONSTANTLY getting schmutz all over it drives her nuts

Her laptop background is some aesthetic floral background, but she actually has a screensaver slideshow of one of her photo albums with people she likes on it

She has a laptop case, it’s also very aesthetic and something with pretty abstract patterns in pastel colors, she has a matching colored rubber keyboard cover to keep yuck out of the keys.

Car:

Akshskdhk Padmé honey I’m so sorry I keep giving you literally every single one of the stereotypes for the rich liberal white women who were in my area growing up, but let’s be real that’s what you are 😂

So yeah Padmé has a new model shiny silver luxury electric sedan. She’s got a good job and rich parents

Not a Tesla because fffffuck Musk but one of those other brands. She feels like a BMW driver to me but idk if they come in electric.

Her license plate is specialized with her initials and has a special plate because she donates to the state wildlife society

She’s a faster driver; there isn’t really any wear and tear on the outside, like not in terms of dents, but there’s stress on the tires

Nice leather seats, seatwarmers, great sound system, the works. She’s always got a vanilla air freshener in it, it smells nice enough and she keeps the front area fairly clean, but do NOT open up the trunk or the glove compartment or pull down the sun visors, she’s got twenty million emergency first aid kits and spare outfits and boxes of pads and apocalypse prep boxes and three knives and four shopping bags of things she needs to return and bags of stuff she’s going to donate to the poor/soup kitchens

One of the check engine lights or something is constantly flickering on and off, Pads ignores it because “eh I need my car, I don’t have much time to get it fixed and nothing seems to be wrong with it, it should be fine”. Anakin’s eye twitches every time he sees it because not only is it something Broken he’s not currently Fixing(TM), he’s honestly not sure he CAN fix it because these new techy digital cars are extremely anti-self repair, and that just gets him and Padmé right back into the planned obsolescence argument again.

Backpack:

Bold of you to assume Padmé Amidala only has one (1) backpack

She has multiple high quality ones that suit her various needs

Two for school/work. They’re the same brand, small and one is plain leather and one is bougie-plaid and they depend on what outfit she’s wearing. They contain her laptop spare electronics and chargers, her emergency kit, umbrellas, and her purse

She’s got like three more for leisure. A bit more slouchy and aesthetic for just carrying random stuff when she doesn’t want a purse, still contain everything you could possibly need

Also one sports backpack

All in top quality shape

[bittlicious]

i know the h*vemind talks about having a netflix adaption to check, please! and which scenes would be the best but i just think that

LVA @ PVD - Part II

you hear the hockey horn thing blow off and it’s focused on jack but you can just see parson in the back and the tension is so high. the music is hype and jacks just sweaty and focused

then BOOM motherfucker steals the puck like an absolute beaut and there’s intense music and everyone’s like “Oh Zimmermann Has The Puck I wonder What Happens Next.”

(**bonus, the sounds of the blades against the ice. Fuck))

(***bonus, the commentary just keeps getting louder and more intense and the people just keep speaking over each other and being like OH SHIT- ZIMMERMANS- WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT-)

then OH SHIT THERES PARSE OH SHIT OH FUCK- there’s a glimpse of blonde hair and everyone’s like THERE’S OUR FAVOURITE PROBLEMATIC MOTHERFUCKER and OH SHIT JACK UHHH...

and for a second everything just stops. the music and the crowd and it cuts to parson looking angry and then transitions to jack just 😐😑😐 cuz Robot™ anddd thennn OH FUCK HE COMPLETELY DODGES PARSON YEAHHH

and then HONNKKKKKKKKKKKK 🦆🦆THE FUCKIN CANADIAN BEAST GETS. A GOAL AND THE CROWD IS SCREAMING AND THE COMMENTATORS ARE LOSING THEIR SHIT AND JACKS SKATING AROUND THE NET WITH A SMIRK AND TATER JUST TACKLES HIM

here the audio from the hockey game turns quiet as it cuts to bits and lardo in the library and everyone’s like wiping off their sweat and huffing cuz of That GOAL!! and then—

then...

FUCK THROW IN AN ACES GOAL BECAUSE ! FFFFFUCK THE ACES

this is what will be the absolute best. THE DOG PILE. LORD.DDDDDDDD. YOU can hear all of the complains from the falconers and then you watch parson just RAMMM into snowy (i’m sorry snowy but please this is hilarious) and then the crowds booing and they’re just in a fucking Pile

MLLFMAO SOMERIMES I CANT DEAL WHEN TATER PICKS UP PARSON. parsons just listening as tater screams and he’s like “😟😳 uh huh okay uhhhh i’m just gonna leave-“ and skates away lowkey shitting himself cuz a 6 foot russian literaly just picked him up with his HAND

lord. call me a parson kinnie cuz you’re right but when it cuts to parsons smirk in this scene i just cant deal. the tension is so tight and then it just AHHHHHHHHH

jacks face too. over it you can just hear tater screaming russian obscenities at the aces cuz fuck the aces

and then the final scene. it cuts to bitty just worrying about his poor boyfriend who’s going against his,, ex??ex-best friend????? we’ll never know

the best is the cut to the phone when it shows the score and everyone watching is just like fuckkk. the Aces

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[itsmyusualphannie]

cold fingers

it all starts because Dan stole the blankets

2361 words - (read on ao3)

“Dan,” says Phil, slowly coming to the realization that he has no blankets and Dan is a heap of warmth next to him. “Dan, you’ve taken all the blankets again.”

Dan ignores him, his face illuminated by the screen of his phone as he scrolls. Phil is on his phone too, which is why they’re lying beside each other instead of spooning.

“Dan!” Phil barks and Dan finally looks over at him, his head swamped by the blanket.

“What.”

“I’m cold,” Phil complains. “And you’re on your phone instead of cuddling me.”

“You’re on your phone too? Hypocrisy.”

“But you have all the blankets. All I’ve got is my phone.”

Dan just stares at him for a long moment, then goes back to his own phone.

Phil scowls. “If I freeze to death, who’s going to love you?”

“I’ll love myself,” Dan says. “Hahaha just kidding, I don’t love myself.” He glances over at Phil again and rolls his eyes at the pitiful look Phil is giving him. “Ugghh fine, get over here, dumbass.”

Phil’s face lights up and he squirms over to get beneath the blankets, shoving Dan to his side so he can cuddle him from behind.

“Ow,” Dan complains but lets Phil do as he wishes, not letting go of his phone as he scrolls down a page. Phil hmphs happily and buries his cold nose into the back of Dan’s neck, ignoring the squeal it elicits.

“You’re the worst,” Dan whines.

“You’re the best,” Phil says. “I’m only saying that because you’re sharing the blankets now.”

“Loser.”

“Am I? I think I won.” Phil breathes heavily on Dan’s neck and laughs when Dan screeches at the sudden cold air.

“Fucking stop it!” Dan jabs at Phil with an elbow, almost dropping his own phone.

“Fine,” Phil giggles. He tugs Dan closer, wrapping his arms more tightly around him. “I’m just cold,” he pouts. “It’s your fault for stealing my warm blankets.” He dips his chilled fingers under the edge of Dan’s shirt teasingly, then darts them up to flick at Dan’s nipples. He’s expecting another shrill scream, but instead, Dan stiffens against him, then shudders.

“Oh,” says Phil.

Dan moves then, shoving Phil’s cold fingers away. “Fuck off,” he mutters. “You know my nipples are sensitive.”

Phil senses that there’s more to it than that. “Oh?” he says again, dragging his fingers along Dan’s hipbones. He grins when Dan shivers again.

“Are you trying to get me going?” Dan mutters.

“Nooo,” says Phil unconvincingly. He snaps the waistband of Dan’s boxers and smirks suddenly. “Why, is the cold getting you hot?”

Dan is silent.

“Is it?” Phil asks, sitting up abruptly.

Dan scowls and shoves at him. “No. Shut up.”

“Well,” says Phil affably. “We’ve never done temperature play. Want to try it?”

“Ugh,” Dan groans, turning his face into the pillow. “Don’t say it like that. That’s so...unsexy.”

Phil pokes him. “Hey. This is like one of the kinks I thought you didn’t have, or I would have suggested it much sooner.”

“I didn’t think I did have a temperature kink!” Dan whines, flailing a hand at him. “Shut up.”

“Stop telling me to shut up.” Phil grabs at Dan’s arm. “Come on,” he wheedles. “Let’s try it. I’ve read a few things about it before so I...kinda know what it’s all about. Is it just the cold or do you want to try…?”

Dan shudders. “No fire.”

Phil nods in agreement, but Dan still has his head buried in the pillow. “Hey. Dan, look at me. Do you want to try something with ice?”

Dan lets out a disbelieving whimper into the pillow, then flops around to face Phil. “Fine,” he grumbles. “We can try if you want to so badly.”

Phil laughs at Dan’s answer. “We’ll try it right now,” he agrees. He clambers out of bed and trots out of the bedroom. Dan scowls after him, then yanks his phone up and pointedly focuses his attention on the screen instead of Phil banging around in the kitchen.

A minute passes, then another, and Dan’s head finally comes up. “Did you get lost?!” he yells.

A crash. “I’m trying to find a bowl or something to put the - wait, I found one!”

Dan glances at his phone, then at the doorway, and decides to just say it. “I just read an article about sucking dick with ice in your mouth.”

“That sounds...interesting...” is all Phil says as he reappears with a large bowl in one hand. He crawls onto the bed and yanks at the blankets Dan still has wrapped around him.  Dan helps him shoves them off, then tugs his shirt off, eyeing the bowl Phil has set haphazardly beside them. The blankets end up hanging halfway off the bed.

Phil pulls a piece of ice out of the bowl and pops it into his mouth to suck on it, grinning at Dan. “Where do you want me to start?”

“My neck?” Dan suggests cautiously. He squirms further up the bed, leaning back against a pillow.

“Hmm,” is all Phil says. He picks up another piece of ice and straddles Dan’s thighs decisively, bending over him. He pauses for a moment, then decides to get right into it, running chilled fingers and the tip of the ice cube along Dan’s jawline. Dan jumps at the sudden chill but settles into it after half a second. Phil leans further and mouths at the curve of Dan’s neck, cold lips tracing the wet path his fingers are making.

“Oh god...that feels good…” Dan says, half-surprised. He wraps his arms around Phil’s shoulders, tugging him closer.

Phil licks at Dan’s clavicle, running the rapidly-melting ice over his flushed skin. Water drips everywhere the ice goes, leaving trails of cool water beading on Dan’s pale skin. “You’re too hot,” Phil chuckles. “Literally.” He makes his way a little further down, brushing the ice over Dan’s nipples and gauging his reaction.

Dan inhales sharply at the unfamiliar, yet somehow arousing, sensation and digs his blunted fingernails into Phil’s back. “It’s good - keep going.”

Encouraged, Phil lets the ice melt even more on Dan’s nipples, sliding it between both of them and flicking them a bit to really form the peaked buds. He breathes a burst of hot air on one after holding the ice against it for too long, then glances up again at Dan to see how he’s taking it.

“Fffffuck...this is indescribable, just...don't stop.” Dan’s eyes are clenched shut and his teeth are digging into his bottom lip.

Abandoning the sliver of ice left, Phil leans to grab another and brushes it further down Dan’s chest, circling his navel and causing goosebumps to leap where the ice touches. Phil follows it with his still slight-chilled tongue, lapping at the water it leaves.

“Hmmph...Phil...this is nice..” Those are the only words Dan can muster for a moment. His mind is blank as if his brain is telling him to only focus on the sensations his body is experiencing. He arches his hips experimentally and almost sobs as his stiff dick catches against Phil’s thigh. “Shit Phil, I’m so hard.”

“You look so pretty laid out like this,” Phil murmurs. “I think I like it as much as you.” He slides down Dan’s body, tugging out of Dan’s grasp on his shoulders and stopping only when his head is about even with Dan’s tented boxers. He runs the ice along the waistband of Dan’s underwear, letting the drops left behind seep into the fabric and chill Dan even more.

“Fucking hell...keep saying shit like that and I’ll…” Dan punctuates his sentence with a whimpering moan.

“You’ll do what?” Phil smirks. He brushes a cold finger onto the material jutting around Dan’s cock and pulls it away before Dan can even react. “Let’s try this thing you mentioned,” he suggests, tugging Dan’s boxers to mid-thigh with barely a movement. Dan’s cock bobs free, straining against his stomach as Phil leans over it.

“Ugh...yes, please,” Dan groans in reply, reaching up to tightly grip the pillow under his head.

Phil slips another piece of ice into his mouth and lets it melt under his tongue while he noses up Dan’s thighs and around the base of his dick. “How do you always smell so good?” he mutters into the crease between Dan’s thigh and crotch, then licks a cold, wet stripe there to make Dan jump.

“Oh fuck, Phil...I think I should’ve mentioned this...ugh...earlier.” Dan is a shuddering, whimpering mess under Phil’s touches.

“I think so too,” Phil agrees, “but now we know.” He wraps his partially cool fingers around Dan’s cock and strokes slowly a few times, the chilled water providing a sort of lubricant, then he dips his chin and licks the tip with the ice chip still melting on the back of his tongue.

“Fuck!” Dan yelps, his hands rushing instinctively to grip onto Phil’s hair.

Phil takes Dan in even further, the burning heat of Dan’s cock warming his mouth quickly. The ice is only halfway melted and catches on the head of his length, drooling around Phil’s mouthful and dripping from his lips. Phil pins Dan’s thighs together unconsciously as he licks and swallows around Dan.

Whimpers and moans are all that can be heard from Dan as he quivers beneath Phil. He bucks his hips upward as a natural reaction, fingers twisted in Phil’s hair. Phil bobs his head a few more times before pulling back momentarily to snag another piece of ice, almost knocking over the bowl. “You can fuck my mouth,” Phil allows, then dives back in, swallowing Dan almost to the base. With one hand he brushes the ice against Dan’s cock, then slips it into his mouth and lets it slide against the burning length with every move.

Dan tightens his grip on the back of Phil’s head and begins to grind his hips upward, groaning at the mixing temperatures of the ice cube and Phil’s warm throat.

Releasing his tight grip on Dan’s thighs, Phil keeps working on Dan’s cock while sliding Dan’s boxers down to his ankles and out of the way. He slips a finger through the melted ice down past Dan’s balls and circles his hole, just barely teasing it.

“Oh shit, fuck...” Dan rambles repetitively, picking up the pace of his thrusts into Phil’s mouth. The ice is still melting in Phil’s mouth, cooling while Dan’s cock heats. Phil groans around his mouthful, drooling more spit and water. His finger, slick, and prodding, slides into Dan with hardly any effort at all. He doesn’t try for any more fingers without lube but angles his wrist and jabs at Dan’s prostate.

“Ahh PHIILL!!” Dan screams. He writhes under Phil’s touch, arching his back and letting his head fall against the pillows, fucking Phil’s mouth impossibly deeper. Phil’s throat goes slack and he swallows down around Dan, taking him in further. That cool finger still presses relentlessly at Dan’s prostate.

Phil flails out for a moment with his other hand before he finds the bowl of ice and he grabs another half-melted piece to barely brush against the base of Dan’s dick as he fucks Phil’s mouth.

“Fuck fuck fuck Phil I’m gon-gonna…” Dan says, barely above a whisper as his thighs flex and his hands grip onto Phil’s hair for stability. Phil can only moan an encouragement, his throat vibrating against Dan as he rubs the finger inside him.

The feeling of Phil’s throat rumbling around him is enough to topple Dan over the edge. He chokes out one last grunt as his head feels like it’s imploding. His entire body tenses up and stills for a long moment, and finally, he shudders and comes down Phil’s throat.  Phil swallows around him, stroking Dan through his orgasm but pulling away when it becomes too sensitive. He slips a hand down and pulls at himself only a few times before he’s coming too, biting his bottom lip and groaning.

“Shit Phil, you’re so fucking hot,” Dan gasps between breaths. He grabs onto Phil’s shoulders and pulls him up, kissing him weakly as they ride out the end of their orgasms.

Phil can’t help but chuckle against Dan’s lips as he slumps against him, exhausted. “You have the best ideas,” he murmurs.

“Yeah well...neither of us have done that before, and you did it like an e-expert.” Dan’s speech is slurred, as it almost always is after a strong orgasm. Suddenly tired, he turns sideways, shoving Phil off his chest. He releases a sigh, wrapping his arm around Phil’s back and burying his head in Phil’s chest, their legs tangled.

“We’re definitely going to do that again sometimes,” Phil says decisively. He kisses the top of Dan’s head, the curls damp against his lips, then pushes gently at Dan’s shoulder. “I love how you always go straight to cuddling and ignore any cleanup.”

“M’lazy. You clean us up,” Dan says with a yawn.

“Hmm, fine, I will.” Phil squirms out of Dan’s grasp and moves the bowl onto the floor where one of them will probably trip over it in the morning, then wipes them both down quickly. He crawls back over Dan and flops down beside him, wrapping Dan up in his arms.

Dan curls against Phil again, smirking into his chest. “Maybe I’ll steal the blankets again sometime.”

Phil casually reaches down and pinches Dan’s ass, grinning at Dan’s yelp. “How about you don’t?”

Grumbling under his breath, Dan grabs blindly at the blanket behind him and yanks it over both of them. “Ugh. Go to sleep.”

Phil snuggles down under the blanket and cuddles Dan even closer. His eyes are just drifting shut when he hears a soft whisper.

“I love you.”

Phil smiles. “Love you too, baby.”

They fall asleep within minutes, warm under the blankets.

Phil wakes up a few hours later, practically shivering. He’s still halfway lying over Dan, but all of the blankets are wrapped around Dan and he almost looks like he’s smirking in his sleep.

Phil, like a good loving boyfriend, doesn’t strangle Dan in his sleep.