#AND I FUCKING LOVE BOSSA NOVA

[strxnged]

had no idea what kind of laufey music did until just now. holy shit. jazz but people listen to it?

[puppys-rhythm-heaven]

i'm surprised with how well i did on this i've like never listened to japanese remix 10 sfdklfjdsklfdjklsfd- granted. i have memorized remix 10. n i've memorized the timing for every game (thanks to remix 10) so-

[electric-rabbits]

My music app just randomly started playing a version of Águas de Março in english. Death and suffering on planet earth

[xoluvx]

Hiiii i love your blog so much but i was wondering if you could do something where reader and billie’s tape gets leaked?? Like how would they react and stuff 😭 It could be the billie bossa nova pt 2 if u want <3

oooooh my god. you are in my brain anon because i was seriously thinking of this concept 😭😭 ily thank uuuu we share a brain. i have a different idea for bbn pt 2 (*if* it comes to fruition)

it was everywhere. everywhere and no where. how did it get out? what was happening?

“fuck fuck fuck,” her voice was loud as she ran down the hall. you held the phone in your limp hand. if it hadn’t fallen on the couch, your screen would’ve shattered.

“what the fuck?” she appeared, frazzled, in front of you. you were silent, but on the inside you were screaming. you were processing, or at least trying.

billie bit her thumb nail nervously pacing back and forth. she had her phone in a tight grip, the video was circulating everywhere. her phone was blowing up with notifications, messages, phone calls, tags, mentions.

“billie what the fuck?” finneas’ voice roared on speaker. he was the first person she answered a call from since it happened Ll but ten minutes ago. she looked at you holding her forehead. you were rubbing your thighs nervously.

“you didn’t watch it right?” were her first words. finneas replied with a gross, but claudia had seen enough to confirm it was the two of you.

the thumbnail wasn’t too incriminating. it was only when the video played that could tell within the first few seconds who it was. her voice urging you to cum. the phone sloppily recording as she rammed into you. the tattoos confirmed it. the way you whined billie’s name confirmed it.

she was fast. skin slapping and breathing heavy. she loved to talk dirty. her voice urging you to cum on her cock. telling you how pretty your ass looked bouncing against her body. complimenting how well you were taking her. her voice was low and raspy, spiting each word through gritted teeth.

the camera shook and the phone fell as she grabbed both your arms holding you down as she slammed into you. pulling you back on her cock. the bed creaking, the screen facing the ceiling. your moans growing louder when the phone fell near your face.

then when you thought it was finally over, she pressed her body down on yours. your back arched, cock deep. she came down to press her cheek on yours, grabbing the phone. she held angled it at your faces. hot and flushed. yours all fucked out, hers all cocky and proud. she smiled as you both breathed heavy then she turned to kiss your cheek her hair covering most of your faces.

then she got up, still buried in you and filmed down your body, fingers following the curves of your back until she was gripping your ass, cock sliding out of your throbbing pussy. whimpers filled the room. then the video cut.

and now you were sitting here processing how it got out.

“i’ll call you back, answer” his voice was stern and billie nodded hanging up. she stared at her phone flooded.

“come here,” you finally spoke, voice weak as you pat the spot next to you on the couch. she nuzzled next to you wrapping her arms around your body allowing you to fall into her as she leaned on the side of the couch.

“i’m so sorry,” she whispered against your head. “so so fucking sorry” she continued before kissing the top of your head. she could handle the fame, barely. the comments, the mean things, but all she wanted was the protect you. that’s the one thing she’d promised herself when you got together and now-

“we’re in this together,” you replied turning to look at her. you melted in her gaze, her eyes glistening. nose red. your own eyes watering, but your lips curling and then you were both laughing softly leaning into each other until your lips brushed.

she held your hand to her chest as you continued kissing.

part of you wanting to recreate the video right now another part knowing it was probably best you stopped recording videos for a while.

“we need a better system,” she teased against your lips. you whimpered turning your body completely so you were straddling her waste.

“yes, we do.” You moaned digging your fingers into her hair pulling softly eliciting a moan from her part. she held your ass moving your hips begging you to grind on her body.

it wasn’t your fault you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.

[incognit0slut]

Lock your door

Spencer Reid x Fem!reader

All y/n wanted was for her coworker to pay attention to her. Spencer was more than happy to oblige. Based on;

cw: 18+ explicit sexual content, oral (f receiving), face sitting

wc: 3,9k (I'm a very descriptive writer you have been warned)

a/n: (reposted because of some error) I’m currently doing an ongoing series but once in a while, I like to write random plots, thus begins another series in which will all be one-shots based on songs i currently enjoy listening to… so yeah, this will be fun.

requests are open if you have a song in mind!

MASTERLIST

“…you better lock your door, and look at me a little more…”

Y/N WASN'T A SENTIMENTAL PERSON, but there was something about the way he looked tonight.

The fluorescent light coming from the hotel room danced across his face, highlighting the sharpness of his jaw. His eyes were in deep concentration as they scanned the document in his hand, his brows furrowed every time he came across something he couldn't comprehend.

Her eyes slowly raked down toward his Adam's apples, moving further across his chest, before they glided along the length of his arm. She couldn't help but notice the mesmerizing way his long fingers trailed along the words underneath his palm.

She always knew Spencer had nice, well-kept hands, but as she continued to observe them, she noticed how enticing they truly were. The size of them always surprised her, as well as the length of his fingers. But it was the veins running through the backs of his hands that really made her dry at the mouth, especially when the sleeves of his button-down shirt were folded above his wrists, showing off firm arms that didn't leave much to her imagination.

How long had she been staring at him? Gawking at him? It was hard to keep her eyes off of him when it was all she had been doing ever since she was introduced to the awkward twenty-four-year-old nerd that he was twelve years ago.

Twelve fucking years.

There should be some kind of reward for pining over your best friend for more than a decade. Y/n should be growing out of this yearning a long time ago yet somehow the more they worked together, the more it became hard for her to act as if every time his fingers innocently touched her skin there wasn’t this immense desire taking over her body, leaving her in a state of being completely swept away by the intensity of it.

Granted, Y/n knew she wasn't the only one attached to this infatuation. Words were never exchanged, although observing and analyzing people's behavior for a job helped her notice the exact same desire reflected in his eyes. She could tell in the way he looked at her, the way his pupils dilated every time he focused on her mouth.

But things between her and Spencer had always been complicated. Her early interest came unnoticed when the person he preferred to ask on a date was another one of their colleagues, and when he grew out of that brief crush and had the courage to finally ask her out, she was already in a relationship.

When that relationship ended begrudgingly and she needed a shoulder to cry on, Spencer's heart was already taken for a mysterious girl he guarded to himself. But that love affair only became a heartbreaking tragedy as it ended before it even began.

It was ever since then that Y/n made a mental note to never indulge her feelings toward one of the closest people in her life. She deemed it inappropriate after everything he'd been through, especially when he made it clear that getting involved with the opposite sex was the very last thing on his mind.

Until something shifted a few days ago.

She wasn't sure what it was. Perhaps it was the traveling into yet another foreign part of the country that made everything seem different, or maybe it was being in close proximity for more than forty-eight hours that had her watching him so earnestly.

But whatever it was, the sudden shift had her looking at the adorable young man he once was into this attractive, irresistible man she viewed as more than a mere friend. A man whose eyes glazed over her mouth this morning yet managed to be oblivious to how she was the one gawking at him now.

Maybe it was time to end their flirtatious dance. Maybe it was time to stop skirting along the what-ifs flowing in her mind. Y/n glanced at the man in front of her, watching the way his back hunched over the table as he buried himself further into deep concentration.

“Spence."

He hummed a soft response, his eyes still trailing the words printed on the document.

"Spencer."

He slightly tilted his head, an indication he was listening but kept himself busy as he continued his reading.

"Dr. Reid."

There was a certain cadence in her voice that sounded oddly pleasing. Spencer reacted to the low timbre of her voice with a glance, his eyes skimming along her leg which rested on top of the other, a glimpse of soft skin teasing his senses as the material of her dress lay softly against her thighs. His eyes snapped back to her face, noticing the lopsided smirk on her lips.

"What is it?"

"Aren't you going to take a break?" Her eyes shot toward the document in his hand. "You've been reading nonstop ever since I got here."

The latter statement was the one that caught his attention. "What's the reason you're here again?"

Y/n wondered whether explaining how she wanted to run her hands through his disheveled hair while he buried his face along her neck would be deemed appropriate. But she had too much pride to admit that. Instead, she uncrossed her legs with a satisfied glint in her eyes as she caught him staring.

She might not want to convey her attraction through words, but carrying out the art of seduction was a very different matter. Temptation had this alluring appeal that drew people in, a certain type of feeling that could often lead a person to do things they usually wouldn't do. And it was what she had in mind as she leaned over the table, the collar of her dress gracefully dropping with her movement, publicly displaying her cleavage.

"I thought you might need company," she simply said. "But I've been sitting here for almost an hour and you haven't engaged me in a conversation."

His eyes flared on the sensual way her breasts were pressed against her clothes before he quickly looked away. "Well, these documents aren't going to read for themselves."

She almost rolled her eyes at his response. "But aren't your eyes tired? Don't you want to take a break?"

He glanced at the stack of papers sitting on his side of the table. "I don't think that would be the wisest thing to do."

"Not even a five-minute break?"

"Especially a five-minute break."

She slumped in her chair as he diverted his attention back to his task, already engrossing himself in another document while ignoring the baffled look on her face. Was she looking at this differently? Was she wrong to think that some untold infatuation lingered between them all these years?

Y/n couldn't help but feel disappointed. Disheartened by the lack of attention, she abruptly stood up and moved along the carpet floor of his room. Her sudden movement caught him by surprise. "Where are you going?"

"Somewhere that might actually appreciate my presence."

She heard him heave out a sigh as he got up from his seat. "You know you're welcome here."

"Am I though?" She taunted, her hand already on the doorknob as she threw him a look over her shoulder. "You barely glanced at me, Spence."

"I was working. You know I need to find any potential evidence from all these files."

A sense of guilt washed over her as she watched him take a tentative step forward. "I know. I just... all I wanted was for you to look at me." Her guilt-ridden concern was replaced by embarrassment when he didn't respond. She quickly shook her head. "You know what? Never mind."

An immense feeling of shame and embarrassment traveled through her body as she turned around. What else was there to do than to flee from his scrutinizing gaze? Her hand gripped the doorknob before she pulled it, ready to fly out the room when a hand suddenly hovered over the edge of the door, softly pushing it back into place.

The sudden silence unnerved her, picking the pace of her heart when she realized she was very much flushed against his body. She could feel herself trembling as her grip slipped off the doorknob. She watched the way his long fingers glided down the hard surface of the door in intense interest.

His rough hand engulfed the lock on the door and she felt his other hand grasp her hair, slightly moving it away for better access to whatever he had in mind. His tone was quiet but undeniably gruff when he mumbled, “It's not that I don't want to look at you, Y/n.”

This was not how she had expected the night would go. Well, maybe it was what she had hoped for, but now that it was actually happening, she completely froze on the spot. She didn't know what to do, the gears in her head were moving to initiate a proper reaction but immediately came to a halt when his other hand banded around her waist as he pressed himself to her back, murmuring into the slope of her shoulders.

"But a five-minute break is not enough for me…”

His breath was hot on her neck.

“…to do..."

Her head lulled back as he pressed a kiss.

"…the things..."

Her skin shivered as he flicked his tongue.

"…I want to do to you."

She watched as he turned the lock back to its place, the sound a distinct echo in the room.

Everything went completely still. The air charged with an electric sense of excitement and nervousness, the type of charge that lead to anticipation. Spencer could feel the erratic pace of his heart as a surge of arousal rippled through his blood. It was definitely not a feeling he was used to, but it was very powerful and overwhelming in its intensity as he swiftly grabbed her arm.

Y/n let out an inaudible gasp when he turned her around, not because of the way her legs were stumbling by the impulsive contact, but by the sudden grip of his hand on her waist, steadying her momentarily in the midst of her trying to register what was happening.

"Spencer," his name a sigh from her lip. A hot spike raced through her body as if she had been struck by some force. Y/n took a shuddering breath, already knowing she would be helpless against the tingling wave he was building within her.

"What happened to your confidence?" He whispered with a coy smile.

She was growing dizzy, overwhelmed with the feeling of him everywhere, with how clear his intentions had become and how much she welcomed them. "I guess you've rendered me speechless."

And then his large hand cupped her whole face, tilting her up. His fingertips felt electric, for wherever they touched her skin tingled in a frenzy of static. She was mesmerized, captured by the spell he had on her.

There was a warm gust of air over her nose as he breathed out, "Are you sure?" His nose gently brushed against hers. "I'll stop if you tell me to."

Her fluttering eyes shot up at him. "Don't you fucking dare."

A satisfied smile curled on his lips as she waited for the moment to come, to explore every inch of his mouth. He finally pressed his parted lips on hers—and true to her imagination, his kiss was divine.

His lips felt soft and her mind went hazy when he started to move them. The push and pull of lips were exhilarating, the lazy mapping of their mouths molding together ascended the desire inside her. She exhaled a moan the moment he nibbled her bottom lip with a gentle brush of his tongue, her body burning with a new sense of need.

He gripped the base of her neck, keeping her locked to his mouth in their exchange of breaths, their tongues grazing, dancing, colliding with one another. And between her breathless moan of pleasure, he was making his own delightful noises, the various groans and growls coming from deep within his chest only made her beg for more.

Spencer slowly pulled away, eyes slamming shut as his forehead met hers, gasping for the much-needed air. "You," he growled under his ragged breath. "Taste better than I imagined."

Her head was spinning. How could he consume her so much? They were practically pressed against each other like hot glue yet she wondered whether there was any possible way to crawl under his skin. It wasn't enough, she craved more. More than his kiss. More than his tongue—she wanted more of him.

Y/n slightly pulled away, her hands skimming along his arms before they grasped onto the bottom hem of her dress, and without warning, she managed to pull the piece of clothing over her head with one swift motion.

Spencer stood there, utterly impressed and furthermore aroused. His eyes raked over her half-naked body with absolute adoration. "I see you've gained your confidence back."

She threw her dress to the floor. "Most of it anyway."

There was nothing more bewitching than her half-naked form, yet he wanted more of her, he needed to have her fully undressed in his arms. Spencer carefully grabbed her hand and guided her further into the room. He slowly dropped himself on the edge of his bed and parted his legs, gently slipping her between them.

"You're beautiful," he murmured, his hands gliding along her skin. "Gorgeous, just absolutely gorgeous."

Her hands skimmed along his shoulders before she ran them through his tousled hair as she stood between the firmness of his legs, enjoying the pure admiration in his eyes. There was something mesmerizing in those hazel orbs, tantalizing her self-confidence as her fingers moved over to the front of her bra, unhooking the clasp before it slipped over her shoulders so effortlessly.

When she was finally free from the confinement of her undergarment, Spencer let out a satisfied sigh, because right in front of him were the most perfect breasts he could ever possibly imagine. His hand danced across her skin, feeling her body tremble underneath his palm as he let a thumb graze over her already hard nipple. The moan she let out was unbelievably exotic and there was nothing else he wanted to do than to hear more of it.

So he let his finger trail down her stomach before he grabbed the edges of her underwear and finally, but oh so slowly, pulled them down her smooth legs. Once they were off, he leisurely observed her nudity, his eyes sweeping over her wet flesh, flushed and swollen, the warmth radiating from her core made every part of him swell. He slowly guided a hand up her leg.

"Spencer," she breathed, clutching onto him even tighter. "Please."

His fingers brushed her inner thigh, so close to where she burned but not close enough for her to feel the satisfaction she desired. "Please what?"

She whimpered desperately. "Touch me."

"And where do you want me to touch you?"

"Everywhere."

What was a man to do when he was asked with such urgency? Such fervor? Spencer looked up at her and smiled, placing a gentle kiss between her breast before motioning her toward the bed. "Lay on your back."

She did as she was told and when she was finally on her back with him pressed to her side, Y/n shuddered at the touch of fabric from his clothes. There was something vulnerable about being the only one naked, yet somehow the roughness grazing her skin merely intensified her arousal.

She inhaled a sharp breath as she was met with a pair of hooded eyes looking down at her with undeniable lust. She felt electricity in her body, hormones shutting down her higher brain, and from there on in it was all passion, intense, intoxicating. He leaned forward, a hand unhesitatingly pushing her locks out of the way to expose her slender neck. His rapid breathing sent shivers down her spine, his lips almost brushing her ear as she closed her eyes.

Spencer trailed small kisses along her jawline, down to her throat, and pressed another kiss on the spot below her ear. She let out a satisfied moan as he sucked the spot leisurely, feeling herself shudder at his touch, sending her into another trance of delight.

She writhed at the electrifying touch of his fingertips and the thread of control that seemed to remain in him snapped as he lunged at her, pressing into her mouth. She gasped at the force and like the man he grew to be, he took that opportunity to slip his tongue, tasting every corner of her mouth. Her taste overwhelmed his senses as he devoured her, hands sliding in her hair, tugging at her, twisting and moving her to his liking.

Her scent was filling his nostrils, her delicate fragrance intoxicating his brain, pulling him even deeper into the spell she was casting on him. His smile was wicked against her lips as his hand engulfed her breast, feeling her shiver underneath him, her breath becoming rapid as she felt his thumb stroking her nipple.

Her aroused nub tightened at his touch, screaming, begging for his utmost attention. He gladly obliged her desire, his mouth trailing down her collarbone, letting his tongue brush along the curve of her breast before his lips hovered above her swollen peak, ravishing it into his mouth.

She arched her back, a moan escaping her lips as the sensation shot through her body, a thrill of arousal pooling in the heat of her core. He pulled away for a moment before ravishing her other peak, gently tugging it with his teeth before sinking in her flesh with the heat of his mouth.

"Beautiful," he murmured to no one but himself as his eyes took in the sight of her naked chest. His tongue flickered out teasingly on her hardening nub before he looked straight into her eyes. "You're so beautiful."

Then his finger continued its teasing brush, gliding along her skin as she writhed uncontrollably, waiting for him to touch the place she desired the most. It was torture. Evil, wicked torture as he leisurely took his time into taunting her that she let out a frustrated sigh.

"Spencer..."

He smiled amusedly, feigning innocence. "What?"

Y/n was never one to beg. Her job taught her to stand her ground and to be resilient whenever she had to face any type of obstacle. But right now, as his touch burned her skin in ways she never thought possible, she really didn't care.

"Baby, please..."

The unexpected term of endearment sent a sensational thrill along his body before a satisfied grin stretched across his lips. "Now how can I say no to that?"

This time when his hand slipped lower, she slowly suck in an anticipatory breath through her teeth that she held until his fingers swiped achingly light over her slit. She let out an audible gasp when she felt the pressure of his fingers over her, teasing her ever so slightly as her eyes rolled at the back of her head. He ran his fingers between her folds, making her flinch at the sensitivity and without warning, without mercy, they plunge into her.

A heavy tide of delight hit her, tension snapping inside. Strong waves emanate from her core, ecstasy racing through every inch of her body as his fingers swelled inside her wetness, moving at a rapid yet lazy pace. Her hips bucked against his fingers, following every movement they made as they stretched inside her, building the most sensational feeling throughout her body.

She closed her eyes, ready to simply enjoy the thrilling pleasure he was bringing to her when he suddenly pulled his fingers out and she whimpered at the loss. He dragged his tongue along his lips before lying on his back, pulling her along with me. "Come here."

She followed him, her legs on either of his side when he motioned her to move forward. "No," he hissed. There was a sudden shyness in his demeanor but his eyes reflected an immense amount of determination. "Sit on my face."

She gaped at him.

Never in a million years did she ever imagine those words to come out from his lips. If anyone told her that Spencer Reid, a certified genius with an IQ of 187, would ask her to sit on his face, she would've laughed. Yet here she was, crawling over him as he proved to her how lewd he could actually be.

Y/n felt the heat creeping along her cheeks as she settled on top of him, but his reassuring smile threw away any doubt she had in mind. He softly kissed her inner thigh before she lowered herself. She gripped the bed frame in front of her while his tongue flickered between her slit, and hooked his arms around her thighs, holding her in place as he devoured her hot flesh like a man starved.

Oh, fuck.

She must have said that out loud as she felt the vibration of his laughter on her skin. She faintly looked down at him and found his eyes boring into hers, watching her intently as he wrapped his lips around her clit and sucked hungrily. The view was making her dizzy. The way his eyes bore into her own as his tongue wrapped around her wetness made her grind her hips, seeking more of the fraction.

He gave a long, languorous stroke with the flat of his tongue and sucked her into his mouth, tugging ever so slightly she could feel the pull in her throbbing clit. Then he spread his mouth wide over that sensitive nub and sucked even harder, a sudden stabbing sensation making her cry in pleasure. Her whimpers and moans grew louder as the coil in her stomach tightened, his tongue moving faster while he felt her clenching around his mouth. 

Y/n could hear how wet she was as he worked her sex relentlessly. The cadence of his tongue was making her delirious. The warm, delicious tingle radiating from his touch was flooding over her that she knew she was approaching the end. His growl rumbled against her wetness as she spasmed, her face a mess of sweat and tears as he lapped up her folds, his tongue sliding into her and pressing on the walls.

And then she shattered—breathlessly, tiredly, heavenly. Her toes curled as she screamed out his name, releasing her grip on the bed frame before burying them in his tousled hair; pulling, grabbing, then throwing herself back as the intensity of the feeling rushed in her blood. She let out a sob as he eased her through her orgasm, rubbing her thighs while they shook around his head.

Her mind went completely blank a few minutes later. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t speak. She merely notice her body shaking with satisfaction as he carefully helped her down, settling her naked body on top of his. The gentle sound of his breathing filled her ears as she felt soothing hands running over her.

They stayed like that, drenched in her sweat with her head on his chest and her legs draped over him. Then after a moment of relishing each other's presence, his deep voice cut through the silence. "You're amazing."

She finally had the will to lift her head up and laughed. "Shouldn't I be the one saying that?"

The indicated compliment made him smile. Silence engulfed them and at that moment it seemed as if there were a lot of things to be said, but somehow neither wanted to initiate the conversation. He pulled her closer and she leaned in his embrace—then his phone rang suddenly before she could even relax.

She groaned. "How much do you want to bet that that's Garcia?"

"Or Hotch." Spencer's hand glided down her back. "We should probably see what they want."

"We should."

But they didn't move and his phone suddenly stopped its chime. Their peace was once again interrupted by another call that came from her phone this time. Y/n let out a sigh. "We should really go."

He nodded, but before she peeled herself off, her eyes cautiously narrowed on him. She could practically feel the blood and adrenaline pumping and coursing through her vein as a rush of hesitation enveloped her. "Can we... finish this later?"

But then her heart brimmed with affection at how his smile lit up, a wide, radiant grin that pierced her skin and traveled straight to her soul. And there he was, underneath the mature lines swept across his handsome face was the adorable man her heart had always ached for.

"Oh, absolutely," he spoke, his fingers trailing over her naked flesh. "We'll definitely finish this later."

[whowantshota]

NOT ALLOWED pt. 2 —— lee heeseung

it's date night with your boyfriend, but you don't even show up. you can't help it, old habits die hard.

warnings ☆ MATURE CONTENT AHEAD. angst, smut, cheating, dom heeseung, this is mostly smut, manipulation, ft enha, soobin (txt) deserves the world,

song recs: it almost worked, tv girl. not allowed, tv girl. lovers rock, tv girl. billie bossa nova, billie eilish,

read part one here! can also be read as a standalone

After what you’ve been calling the ‘little incident,’ the rest of the week was uneventful. Classes are the same, Sunoo’s no less dramatic, and you think you’ve texted your project partner Yunjin at least once since then. Soobin’s still texting you sweet little goodnight messages before you go to sleep though, still kissing you the same and fucking you in that slow, soft way he always has.

You hate it. Hate it with every fiber of your being. You hate it so much. The way he isn’t repulsed by you, hugs you close to him when the two of you go about on campus. The way he loves you all the same despite what you’ve now gone and done.

And you know that you should break up with him. Not because he’s ass—if anything he’s the farthest from it that you’ve ever seen a man be. No, if anything you (absolutely) are the ass. That’s why it’d be so much better than trying, trying so damn hard to love him the way he loves you.

“Dinner? Tomorrow, at 9?” He asked you suddenly during study group. You look up from your book to glance at him. One eyebrow raised, he grins at the feeling of his knee pressing into your thigh, pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Dinner?” You repeat, tapping your pencil against the table. Soobin nods, running his tongue over his bottom lip. There’s a slight blush you can see creeping up his neck, rising in his ears. 

He waits for you to answer, hands folded politely over his own textbook. His sleeves are rolled up just below his elbows and you can see the thick vein that traces its way down to the back of his hand. His fingers are so pretty, so big, have fucked their way into your a cunt a number of times now. The same fingers that’ve treated you right so many times, skimmed across the expanse of your inner thigh. They’ve never choked you, though. Never fucked into your mouth and pressed hard on your tongue, never pulled you down and gagged you on cock.

They’ve never treated you like Heeseung has.

You blink twice, look down, only to look back up and peek at Soobin from under your lashes. “Yeah. Dinner sounds great.”

The way Soobin lights up makes your heart hurt. You really don’t know why he’s put so much effort into taking you out, nor why it still makes him happy. You’ve been dating for three months now, talking for maybe a little longer than that. He’s been trying to make more time for you now, ever since you mentioned it to him. Date’s every fortnight, mostly over coffee or ice cream. Sometimes there’s sex, and sometimes there’s not. Usually, there is.

Soobin’s hands unfold, and he spares a look at the clock. He breaks into the awkward silence, clearing his throat and straightening the white collar of his shirt. “Um, it’s late, huh.” He notes, scratching the back off his neck. “Can I…”

“Sure.” You say, lips pursed. You know what he wants; nothing more than to simply walk you to your dorm. He nods silently at your response and stands up, closing his book and gathering his own things to shove into his bag. Too fucking sweet for his own good, Choi Soobin does not deserve you.

★ . *- .

You think it almost worked.

If you had tried a little harder, possibly made a little more room in your heart for Soobin, then maybe you could have left every single thing about Lee fucking Heeseung behind you.

You did dress up for dinner, wore a short black dress and your favorite cardigan. You did take the time to fix up your hair, and you did go the extra mile and buy him a perfume.

Oh fuck that, you didn’t even wait for him to pick you up at your dorm.

It should have seemed at least a little shocking, but to be honest, you knew that you would come back. You could take it to another level and say you that had planned it, and that’d even be true.

Heeseung was shocked though, opening the door to find you standing outside at 8:47 PM, his pretty, pink lips parted in silence. Before he could say anything, you were already pulling him in for a kiss, feeling his warmth and sliding your hands into his wet hair.

He lets out a long, full groan against your bottom lips when your hands start to feel lower, wanting and reaching for more. “Baby,” he hums when he finally pulls away, “fuck, slow down.”

His hands wrap around your wrists, separating your touch from him. Heeseung did not expect to see you back on his doorstep so soon, had thought you’d be a smarter girl. Thought you'd take some time to think about things, maybe even see how bad, how fucking horrible you are for each other. You didn’t though, and to say he didn’t want you back on his doorstep though, would be a lie. 

“Need you Heeseung,” you tell him. He can’t help but shiver at the sight of you, his grip loosening around your arms and allowing you to slither a hand to his face, cupping his cheek. 

You pull at the hem of the black shirt he’s wearing, tight around his chest. He must’ve just come back from practice, meaning Jay and Jake are probably still in the house but honestly you couldn’t care less. They could watch for all you care.

You’re attaching your lips to his once more before he’s pulling you inside, only separating once to close the door and press your backside against it. 

Heeseung moans into your mouth, tasting the sweet cherry chapstick slick on your lips. His hands move from your arms to glide along your waist. He squeezes, earning a small, muffled cry from you. It was funny, how well he still remembered you and all of your littleticks, what you liked and what threw you off. 

He only moves his lips from yours to start sucking against the skin on your neck, efficient work pulling an unwanted whimper from you. He smiles against your skin and you can feel the upturned corners pressing to you.

“Fuck, Seungie.” You murmur, pulling away for a breath, which is short lived because Heeseung is pulling you back in, bitting your bottom lip. 

You tug at his sweats, fitting a hand inside and cupping his hard on. He stiffens at your touch, hissing something you can’t hear. You love it, the way he reels into you, hands gripping you tight. You could let him take you here, have you all to himself on the couch until midnight. Even longer than that if you really fucking wanted to.

You have him here, all to yourself. He’s whispering in your ear about how good you taste and you’re talking right back, going on and on about how much you missed him, needed him.

You feel the vibration of your phone buzz in your cardigan, but you don’t make a move to even check for it. Fuck Yunjin, or Sunoo, or Soobin, you get back to them later. But you can’t get back Heeseung, can’t get back the way he grinds into the palm of your hand, can’t get back the sweet sounds he makes everytime you tug a little to hard at his hair. Definitely can’t get back the way he loves you at all, though you’re not sure how long it’s been since you lost that.

You groan in annoyance when your phone starts to ring again, pulling it out from your pocket. Heeseung doesn’t question it, let’s you simply fling your phone somewhere around the room and drums his fingers against your hip.

“Came to see me, yeah?” He mumbles against your neck, thumbs starting to rub against you in a circular motion. “Came to let me eat that pretty cunt, mm?”

He starts to suck a hickey and you almost protest, almost say that Soobin could see it, could figure out that you make yourself cum with someone else’s name on the tip of your tongue. But you don’t say anything, only palm his bulge and moan. He slips a hand under the skirt of your dress, presses his fingers against the crotch of your panties.

He’s dragging slow fingers against fabric, feeling the growing wet patch between your folds. “Seungie, hurry up.” You pout, looking at him with big, wet eyes.

Luckily, he’s not in the mood to tease you, yet. He hums and complies with your pleas, locking your lips once more as he slides two fingers in. He’s sloppily kissing you, devouring the moans that leave you while at the same time fucking his fingers into you. 

He doesn’t take his time at all; doesn’t look to see if you’re enjoying it. He doesn’t need to, he knows you eat up whatever the fuck he gives you. Knows he’s fucked you right enough times for you to love this.

You feel like your legs are going to give out when he rolls his thumb against your clit, other hand reaching to knead the flesh of your ass. From the way he’s still grinding against your hand, you think he’s enjoying it too.

You whimper when he pulls out so abruptly, dropping to kneel on the floor in front of you. He pulls your leggings and panties down to your knees, sucking on his fingers and pressing his cheek against the soft skin of your thigh. You can hear the loud pop when he pulls them out of his mouth, messily coated in his saliva. 

When he pauses to look up at you, fuck, you swear you could cum on the spot. The greatest view you’ve seen in a long time; Heeseung below you with his mouth parted slightly, haired mussed, face flushed deep red as he licks his fingers clean.

It hits you right then, how much you want him, really fucking need him. “Fuckin’, love you. Need you s’much.” You cry. There’s tears welling up in your eyes, and they seem to be enough to inspire him to continue. 

Warm, wet lips press against your cunt. It's so soft, so gentle that for a second you wonder if it really is Heeseung, who’s peppering kisses along your pelvis. If he's really there, looking up at you from behind thick locks of dark hair. “Yeah? Need me to fuck this pretty pussy because your boyfriend doesn't?” He asks, continuing to press a trail of kisses against your front, only stopping when he's about right under your navel.

“He…he does,” you stutter. You didn’t think before the words came out, merely let them spill in a hurried response. To be fair, you hadn’t spoken that loud either, but Heeseung hears it, of course.

“Oh, he does?” He takes a moment to let it sink in, brows furrowing before he pulls away and stands up. You want to hold him back down, tell him to kneel again and fuck his tongue into your cunt. But perhaps now's not the time: Heeseung looks unimpressed by the words, arms crossed over his chest. 

The dorm is silent. Much too silent. Considering it’s not that late, you can bet that both Jake and Jay are still up, if not in their respective rooms, hopefully out and about.

Not that there’s time to think about those too, though. Heeseung’s hand is closing around your wrist, and he’s dragging you away from the wall and further into the room. He lays you on the couch—it seems to have become a spot after your last visit.

Heeseung’s got you pinned under him in seconds, pulling off his shirt, hips straddling yours. “You’d don’t think he could fuck you better than I could, baby?” You hear him hum. One strong hand resting on your stomach, bulge pressed up against your leg. 

“That's why you're here with me, letting me fuck this cunt, hm?” He trails off, not so much flinching as you reach into his boxers, pulling his thick cock out of his sweats.

You didn’t come here because of anyone else, you came here because you need Heeseung. Because Soobin could fuck you right, but he just can’t fuck you the way Herseung does. So you’re about to object, state your point, looking at Heeseung through pitiful eyes. And then a buzzing starts up from between the couch cushions.

Heeseung sees it before you do, grabs your long forgotten phone from where it’s sunk. He looks it over, bright light illuminating his face much better than the old lamp in the corner does. 

You know something is wrong when you see the smirk growing on his face, wetting his bottom lip. The phone’s still buzzing, but Heeseung’s already hovering right over you, breath fanning over your face. Precum dribbles down from his tip and along the back of your leg. “Keep quiet for a bit, ‘kay baby?”

He places the phone on the couch arm behind you. You’re about to turn around, swearing you heard something when Heeseung suddenly pushes into you without warning. 

You gasp, pussy squeezing around his girth. He shoves his thumb into the side of your mouth, forcing it open enough for him to spit inside. 

“Swallow,” he commands, fucking into you at a mild pace. His hand moves down to close around your throat, resting his thumb against the lump when you comply. “Good fuckin’ girl.”

“Please!” You cry, clenching even harder at the pet name, earning a groan from Heeseung. His pace falters, and he’s fucking into you sloppily. 

“Fuck, I’ll take care of this cunt,” Heeseung manages to get out, voice, breathy as he speaks. You hiccup, tears slipping down your face. It feels so good, too good. How the fuck did you survive a week without this?

He doesn’t complain when your arms wrap around him, nails digging raw pink marks into his skin. Your back hurts like fuck with the way your arching, but the warmth of his cock is too good for you to care. “Yes, fuck–please, wan’ that.”

And as always, it’s about Heeseung giving you whatever you need at the moment. Maybe that’s why you don’t notice the sadistic smirk on Heeseung’s face when he lazily fucks a couple of more strokes into you. Or why you don’t hear the other end of the phone, don’t see Soobin’s contact name shining brightly on the dial screen of your phone.

“Yeah?” Heeseung muses, reveling in the thought of the desperate scratches he’ll find on his back tomorrow morning. “Who does this pussy belong to, baby?” 

“Heeseung! All yours Seungie-” You’re babbling now, sobbing through choked breaths. He fits in you so well; you know you were just made for him.

“All. Fucking. Mine.” He grunts, fucking into you on each word. The disconnect tone plays right when Heeseung cums, head of his cock dragging against you insides as he rides the high out. 

He doesn’t topple over you and let you ruffle his hair when finishes. Nor does he kiss your nose or call you beautiful. No, he merely pulls out, watches the way his cum spills down your thighs, tucks himself back into his sweats and pushes off of the couch.

You almost reach out to him, but the words die in your throat. You hear Heeseung mutter something, tell you that you can get cleaned in the bathroom, that there’s a pair of his clothes you can change into.

You hate him for it. Even though you’re the one who wanted to walk into all of this. Heeseung did tell you that you couldn’t, shouldn’t start over. Who the fuck were you to think you could fix him; fix what you had?

Now you’re really crying. Big tears welling up and dropping onto the wrinkled skirt of your dress. You pick up your phone from its place on the armchair, open the call app, then drop it into your lap.

You should have known, should have expected it with the number of times he brought up Soobin. Should have seen him reach for your phone, should have noticed the grand smile he wore while he fucked you so good, so deep.

Soobin’s phone number appears three times in your list of recent calls. Twice, as a missed call. Once, as answered.

i love this work so much. reblogs and comments are always appreciated! not beta read

[lookninjas]

Pick a song from a bad description! This time around, we are doing cover songs. You do not have to recognize any song to choose it (although a couple of these should be kinda obvious). Just go with whatever appeals to you. Maybe you're in the mood to stand outside a window with a boombox. Maybe you just want someone to finally fix Johnny Rotten's lyrics. Maybe you love bossa nova. Just go by the vibes.

At the end of the week, I will put the songs into a playlist, in order from the song with the least amount of votes to the song with the highest amount of votes. If you would like to see the playlist, please leave a comment or say something when you reblog, and I will tag you when the playlist is up. If you are desperately curious about a song and don't want to wait a week to know what it is, shoot me an ask and I will answer you.

And please reblog the post! Because Latvian party music and K-Pop Linkin Park covers are always fun, but making other people listen to them with you is always funner.

(also yes the whole playlist will be on youtube this week because apparently that's just where the fun covers are. I'm assuming it's a rights thing? IDK.)

[beesmygod]

I'm actually bummed about YouTube as a whole bc We're in Hell and Channel 5 both turned out to be rapists and just kept making videos so now when I need inoffensive background noise at work my eyes glaze over and I type in "bossa nova" like literal elevator music is better

tumblr is fucking with me and wont let me post the whole post without telling me why but i think bc of all the links i put its getting flagged as spam lol. bear with me as i update this post

oneshorteye: speed run history vids about sierra games and their ilk. interviews with the creators. https://www.youtube.com/@OneShortEye

anomaly documentaries: short form docs about weirdness in the world mostly prior to 2000. delivery and presentation like a 1990s educational video. not edutainment. https://www.youtube.com/@AnomalyDocs

atrocity guide: similar in tone to the above. not as dark as the name would suggest. https://www.youtube.com/@AtrocityGuide

anyaustin: seeks out mundane, odd, tranquil, haunting, or idiosyncratic areas in video games. sometimes roleplays as a census taker to determine the unemployment rate of video game citites https://www.youtube.com/@any_austin

drripVHS: a hero, a legend. uploads rips of VHS tapes he picks up from thrift stores in the portland oregon area. soooooooo many RLM wheel of the worst picks can be found here. https://www.youtube.com/@DrRIPVHS

taskmaster/bbc shows: a shocking amount of british tv shows are uploaded in full on youtube by official accounts. taskmaster fucking rips lol https://www.youtube.com/@Taskmaster

bobby fingers: irish artist who creates dioramas of famous people and events while collecting an oral history of the event and everything surrounding it. this is underselling his production quality by a lot. subjects include mel gibson's drunken arrest and steven segal getting bodied by gene lebell https://www.youtube.com/@bobbyfingers

danooct1: computer enthusiasts who runs old, weird viruses from the 1990s-2000s on his machines. its funny how many of them were little pranks. https://www.youtube.com/@danooct1

primm's hood cinema: funny guy reviews hood movies. simple as. https://www.youtube.com/@PrimmsHoodCinema

treytheexplainer: history nerd (history student?) explains really, really, really, really, REALLY old stuff. but funny stuff. https://www.youtube.com/@TREYtheExplainer

ann reardon and how to cook that: an aussie mom who creates frankly astoundingly beautiful confectionery creations. started to debunk dangerous 5 min craft vids after becoming alarmed at their proliference. also shows how to fix your busted ass cakes and explains why they fucked up. https://www.youtube.com/@HowToCookThat

MEpearl: i love georgette i would move heaven and earth for her and her opossums she rescues. shes insane (strongly positive) https://www.youtube.com/@MEpearl

tara a devlin: some aussie who translates and plays obscure horror games of varying quality from japan. VERY obscure and weird stuff. fun. https://www.youtube.com/@KowabanaJapan

[ummmlife]

Because you asked for it!!! literally no one ever asked for this

here are my...

Nanami Kento headcanons

Warnings!; none... maybe mention of nsfw?

My man here is fucking blind, like, he needs glasses to read. He also has prescription sunglasses, and has more than those ugly glasses he wears.

Started buying Rolex watches when he worked as a salaryman. He simply saw a man with a fancy watch one day and said "Oh, I want one of those".

Although he's a foodie, he often skips his meals, not intentionally though.

Has a great collection of alcohol in his home, that's not a surprise for anyone, yeah. But Nanami also owns a small barista kit to make cocktails.

He's not a virgin but the last time he had sex with someone was a month before leaving his salaryman job. Poor man.

Calling him "daddy" won't have any effect in him. He will probably be confused if you call him "daddy" like ??? why are you calling him father?

Now, if you call him "husband" or dirty talk to him like a good housewife (even if you're not a woman), gurl, he'll go feral.

Also, Nanami really wants to get married. The whole idea of being a family man and have his own spouse and children makes him happy.

He's cancer, duh.

Cry baby, also.

Nanami usually bottles up all his emotions to simply lay down on his bed at night and cry himself to sleep.

Unless you are not his partner, you won't see his clingy side. Nanami is needy, he needs to give and receive a lot of love.

He's the kind of man that sleeps all curled up with his partner, the more physical contact there is, the better.

Don't forget that he's a millennial. Nanami can't start his day without a coffee.

Yeah, he likes Harry Potter and shit.

His Instagram is: 8 post, 6 of them are about food.

He's more active on twitter tho, but not like you think. He uses twitter as his second newspaper.

Nanami seems like a very correct man who listens to classical music all the time, but we all know he's an emo at heart. But he also enjoys bossa nova a lot.

Since his grandpa is danish, he knows like 10 words in danish.

He's not blond, he started dying his hair when he was recruited into jujutsu high. Surprisingly, his hair is in a very healthy state.

Yeah, he knows how to dye hair.

Nanami had a lot of intrusive thoughts, some of those makes him very afraid of his own mind.

Only watch weird philosophical movies from unknown european directors... Unless you find him on a sunday's night watching the most cheesy romcom you've ever heard about.

He also reads manga, but occasionally. Probably likes something like Golden Kamuy or Vagabond.

His favorite sport is baseball.

He once tried pilates (Gojo's recommendation)... never more.

Loves edging himself when he has to relieve stress

Has a lot of plants, all in perfect health.

If his partner gets pregnant, he will ask to try breastmilk... Why? I dunno, he's probably curious.

His favorite position is missionary, boring af, but he likes to see his partner's face when they cum.

If he's in a relationship, don't expect him to jerk off. Even when he was single didn't jerk off unless he was incredibly horny, the plus of a relationship is that he will ask his partner to make love together to ease his human needs.

Likes cats more than dogs for pets, but he'll definitely have fishes or a turtle if he can.

Very sensitive, with everything in general. Textures, noises, flavors. If there's something that overstimulates his senses, he will have a bad day.

That's why he buys one specific brand of condoms and also 99% cotton everything that has fabric on it.

Very clean for the same reasons, he can't stand visual noise.

Nanami also cleans his home spiritually. Does he believes in that? Not necessarily, but it feels his home cleaner.

Loves being kissed on his forehead and jaw.

Also likes the sensation of being protected, he's always protecting people but he likes also to feel safe and cared.

If you ask him to wear a skirt, with a bit of struggle, will agree.

Has never tried anything sexual like bdsm or something like that. Just the basic 4 positions of sex.

Nanami is just a sweet guy who only shows his cute side when he's comfortable enough with his loved one.

That's all for now!

[merakiui]

I loved the ebb and flow!!! Floyb being down bad and pining for the reader is so.. ( ´ཀ` ) anyway, I hope your pillow is cold on both sides tonight! You deserve it ❀˖°

Now... what if Floyd got more bold with his actions and maybe does something in front of Azul to tell that he's better than him and that he should back the fuck up.

(Floyd knocking reader up accidentally and now It's too late to do anything? Lol, baby gets born and it starts looking like Floyd day after day. And while papa Leech and mama Leech are angry at Floyd, Jade gets to business and tries to knock reader up himself ⍢)

(���ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈) thank youuuuu!!! I hope your pillow sides are also cold! Floyb being down bad is always so fun to write. I actually just wanted to write awkward first time sex with Floyb, but then I realized I didn't write anything to celebrate 4/20 and so I knew I had to write a small scene where you and the twins take edibles and cuddle while listening to bossa nova. <3 the pining paired with stepcest flavoring makes for a very delicious meal.

I believe in punk Jade supremacy!!! Jade who is something of the poster child for the family because he's the "good twin," and so he goes out of his way to reverse that preconceived notion by getting piercings and tattoos in his own rebellious ways. I think Floyd (and also Jade) being a menace to his step-sibling is very fun. The three of you may bicker sometimes and be utter pains to one another, but at the end of the day you love them (they love you a little too much, though... ;;;;).

Aaaaa I love the idea of Floyd trying to assert his dominance over Azul. The original idea for the prom scene was for Floyd to kiss you in front of Azul. >:D he's such a brat!!!! Maybe he'll do that instead just to remind Azul that, while he's allowed to be close, he's not nearly as close as you and Floyd. ദ്ദി´▽`) but Azul grew up with the three of you, so maybe he knows the twins are freaks. (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

(Omg Jade knocking you up next...... it's only fair, isn't it? You gave Floyd a child and now he wants one, too. You can make him a father as well, can't you? 🥺 all with those pleading eyes of his....... your step-brothers are so troublesome. >_<)

[old-lorarri]

꒰꒰ ‧₊˚𝐋𝐎𝐋𝐀'𝐒 𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ─ 𝟒𝐊 ˚₊· ꒱꒱

actually speech less rn like I'm in shock 4k!!! and before the end of the season as well!!! wow fucking wild I appreciate you guys sosos much and I hope you know I love you all anyway you guys know the drill ─ request as much as you want

schedule ─ 24th of nov - 8th of dec

← back to nav

─ getting older . . . ❨ get to know me! ask me about my favourite books, movies, tv shows, or just gossip with me! whatever u want like send me random stuff, tiktok edits, memes, anything. ❩

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─ billie bossa nova . . . ❨ I'll make a mood board that I think matches your blog theme, and add a song based on what I think matches you. ❩

─ my future . . . ❨ send me a driver + and a prompt (example: charles + summer vacation) and I'll make a mood board for it. ❩

─ lost cause . . . ❨ send me a description of yourself + a fandom and gender preference, and i’ll ship you with a character. ❩

─ nda . . . ❨ send me driver + a scenario/prompt (example: friends to lovers with lewis hamilton) and I'll make a small playlist for it. ❩

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[deandoesthingstome]

Hall Pass - Epilogue

You Better Lock Your Phone

Paring: Henry Cavill x Reader (RPF)

Series Summary: You run into Henry Cavill at the start of a two-week house-sitting vacation. You had some previous plans. Some were ruined by your now ex-boyfriend. Some were made better. Guess by whom?

Series Warning and A/Ns: Check out the Masterlist

Playlist: I will add to Spotify with each chapter. The last two songs are for this epilogue, especially Billie Bossa Nova - Billie Eilish

Word Count: 2.3K - This is well and truly it. Hope you love it!

Bonus: I'm headed back to the scene of the crime this weekend! Yay, me!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Over the next ten days, you and Henry took every opportunity to enjoy each other, over and over again.

Sometimes it was lazy and slow and sensual in the early mornings. After, he would slide on a pair of pajama bottoms, which he actually did own, and pad out to the kitchen to make coffee. When you finally emerged from the room, freshly showered and clothed in a comparably comfortable pair of loose sleep bottoms and a thin, comfy cardigan, you’d approach him and slide a hand over his shoulder from behind and down his unclothed chest while you bent to kiss his mouth as hard as you had the night before. Then you’d take your coffee and sit across the table from him, looking out the picture window to the wintry field behind the home, book in hand. As you read, the deep vee front of your cardigan would loosen and the fabric would fall off your otherwise bare shoulder.

Henry would take notice and comment and tell you how pretty you looked bathed in the morning sun. He’d ask to take your picture and you’d oblige, offering him a shy smile, a goofy smile, a wide smile, a genuine smile filled with a hint of sadness.

He’d pause, staring at the photos on his phone, then swallow hard and put it away. He’d scoot the leather wingback chair away from the craft table and reach for you, drawing you close to him with one wrist clasped in his large but gentle hand. 

With the other hand he’d guide you into his lap, sometimes sideways so he could curl you into him and breathe in your scent while he held you so tight and rocked the notion away. Sometimes, facing him and straddling his wide thighs so he could drag your hips in close, roll up into you, get you off kilter so you’d pitch forward enough for him to catch your lips with his, always with the right amount of cushion so you didn’t bump teeth or noses against one another before he held you rapt with his lips.

But the best was when he’d drag you to him and set you on his lap facing away from him. He’d snake his hand around your waist and up into your sweater, hand cupping your breast and pulling you tight to his chest. He’d get you so hot, get you grinding against him, get you needy for him.

It was easy for him to lift you to your feet so he could drag your pj’s down and coax you out of them before he set you back on his lap, though not before he also shuffled his own pants down. He’d pull out the condom he’d tucked in the pocket on the off chance you’d be up for another round so soon after the morning session. But you were, always, and when he slipped you around him your moan was for anything but pain.

It was for the incredibly satisfying feeling of fullness, or the way he moved in and out of you, or the way he held you close with a grip that said he never wanted to let go.

When you weren’t fucking, you might be out riding. Caleb had watched Henry saddle Telly. When his technique was approved, Henry received permission for the two of you to take the horses out whenever you wanted since you could now saddle them without Caleb.

You took Henry on the rest of the paths around the property, always heading off in a different direction each time and always winding up at the hot spring every time. Sometimes with a thermos of hot chocolate, sometimes with another bottle of champagne, sometimes with something a little stronger, but usually always with the willpower to stop before you went too far. 

No matter which way you came, you always trotted back on the shortest route possible, Kal bouncing along beside you. Once the horses were back in their natural state, you would head inside to shower and make love again.

You absolutely made yourself stay away from Henry every now and again, though, determined to give him time to actually concentrate on what he came here for in the first place. The model was coming along nicely as you found time to sneak in a quick yoga practice or meditation, perhaps a nap snuggled up with Kal, who never had a problem leaving his father’s side in favor of your company.

Sometimes you’d step back into the great room and be struck by his presence, the goofy or concentrated look on his face, and you’d call his name and silently ask for permission to snap a photo or two as well.

You made sure to get decent photos of him around the property, too. Tending to the horses, attacked by goats, out walking in the fresh snow, perched on his incredibly photogenic ass at the top of the front porch steps, legs spread wide and elbows resting on his knees as he begged you with his eyes to come to him, before he voiced his need.

“Just put the phone down already and come here.”

You turned off the screen and slipped the phone into your back pocket and went to him because why would you ever say no to Henry?

He’d stand up and hold your hand while you climbed the stairs together and went back into the house, sometimes to fuck like rabbits and sometimes to just hold each other tight.

On your second Wednesday at the farm, your actual birthday, you called the local lodge restaurant and asked what the occupancy was like. The hostess laughed in your ear.

“It’s Wednesday in the middle of winter. There is literally no one here. You can have your pick of the tables.”

When you hung up the phone, Henry was waiting with your coat.

“Please, I hope you know that simply because you secured the reservation, that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to take charge of the rest of the evening, including helping you on with your coat and walking you out to my rental because I’m not letting you drive us on this date.”

“Henry, calm down. Of course you can drive. I only offered because I know the roads around here, but I'm happy to give you oral … directions! Get your mind out of the gutter!” you laughed as he raised his eyebrow at you again, with the largest shit-eating grin you’d seen yet. “I’m happy to give you verbal directions to the restaurant.”

You didn’t miss the way he muttered under his breath he’d take the oral, too.

He’d been the perfect gentleman all evening, opening your door for you and helping you out of the SUV. He asked what you were having and if it would be okay if he ordered for you. 

“This time, sure.” You smiled at him, hoping he didn’t pick up on that Freudian slip. As if there would ever be a next time.

You spent the next few hours eating and chatting and laughing till you cried. After dessert, Henry allowed the staff to take a few photos with a promise they’d wait until Saturday to post them on social media.

It dawned on you in the car on the way home, why Saturday.

“Don’t think about it,” Henry called to you from all the way across the car. “Come back to me, come back to us here and now.”

You turned your face away from the window and looked at him as you wiped the tears and gave him the smile he wanted from you. You wanted it, too. Wanted to keep this night special. Keep the focus on only what you’d done with him today already and what you were going to do with him tonight. Ignore the fact that it will all be over soon.

“There’s my girl,” he smiled at you. “Now, am I turning left or right up ahead? I’m completely turned around here”

You laughed and wondered at how he managed yet again to finagle you out of whatever funk threatened to derail your nothing but pure enjoyment of the two weeks together.

There was never a time when your clumsiness as you tried to undress one another and still keep your mouths mashed together didn’t end up with one or both of you laughing your asses off on the ground. That’s why when Henry wanted to fuck you in all sincerity, with no jokes or silliness to detract from the way you felt about each other, he’d simply force you to stand still while he undressed you and kissed every inch of your body.

He’d lay with you on the bed and hold you close as he kissed your mouth deep. He’d roll you to your back and hover over you, dragging a palm down your body and slipping a long finger or two deep inside your folds. He’d get you rocking into the palm of his hand and begging, begging for more.

It was after he’d let you up so you could suck on his cock for a bit, and after he’d dragged you to the edge of the bed with your legs hanging over and your ass just in the air so he could eat your pussy for a bit before he flipped you over and entered you from behind and made you come screaming his name, that he’d asked you if he could take another picture.

“Now?” you asked.

“Right now. With you looking like that, all fucked out and drunk on my cock. You can pull the sheet up if you want, here…” he leaned forward to drape the cloth over your hip and your breast, letting you tuck it in a way that he could see your leg and arm, but nothing truly untoward. “Like that. Just unbelievably gorgeous. Okay?”

You agreed and let him snap a few shots. He even suggested a few poses and when he showed you the finished results you couldn’t believe your eyes.

“That is not me! Who is that? Whose photo did you just pull up?”

“Oh, don’t be silly. Look at you. You’re gorgeous. Your smile reaches all the way to your eyes. It tells me you’ve never been happier. I love that for you.”

“So you really are a photographer, huh?”

Henry laughed wholeheartedly again. “Right, yes. Seriously, though. I’ve been in front of the camera for years. You don’t think I’ve picked up on a few tricks of the trade?”

“Thank you, Henry. Thank you for showing these to me.”

“I’ll send them, don’t worry. And this is just me showing you yourself.”

When your friends showed up on Friday, you introduced them to Henry and they convinced him to stay one more night. Friday night was so much fun, that Henry stayed Saturday night, too. As he was getting packed and ready to leave Sunday, he reached for you as you were packing also.

“Come with me.”

“What?” you asked, certain you didn’t hear what you thought you did as you allowed yourself to be pulled into his arms.

“Put these bags in my car and come with me. For a few more days. Somewhere else, somewhere private again.”

“What for?”

“So we can actually talk. I shouldn’t have kept us from talking about it the whole time. I only wanted to make sure we enjoyed it as much as we could. But that was silly, because I missed the opportunity to tell you sooner that I think I might be falling for you and I want the same to be true for you. Are you falling for me?”

“Yes,” you whispered, wanting to pinch yourself. “Yes of course I’m falling for you. I’m sorry, I also should have said something. I was so scared, this is, like, really soon.”

“We can still take this slow, but those restaurant photos are already online, and I'd be surprised if people haven't already come looking. And not that those kids know to point to you here right away, but there is bound to be increased interest in the area for a bit and I think it just best if we stay away while we figure out what we want to tell them when they finally do come knocking.”

“You’re seriously asking me to start a relationship with you?”

“Well, continue one, yes. Please.” The look on his face was nothing but serious.

“But my life…”

“Here, yes, I know. That’s exactly what we need to talk about. I’ll do whatever you want, but you have to know if you decide to stay here so that we are forced to be long distance at the very beginning of our relationship, it may make things difficult for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Reporters, paparazzi, crazed fans, whatever you can think of. I could hire someone to help keep folks away. You'd be welcome to go wherever you want, though you’ll probably find you won’t want to.”

“My job? I mean, it’s pretty much remote anyway. I’m sure I could do it from anywhere, but my apartment, my belongings…”

“All things I want to spend time sorting out with you as well as just spending more time together. Kal will also probably never forgive me if I let you just go, which is why I’m suggesting you come with me so we can figure out how and when we want to make this public. I want to keep the craziness away from you until you feel you’re ready.” He paused for a bit of dramatic effect. “As well as have you in my bed.”

“Henry, you are incorrigible!” you laughed and tumbled into his arms.

“Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes,” Henry begged, with a hint of a laugh that gave you pause.

“Oh my god, Henry!” you shouted. “Did I say that out loud?” 

“I really kept up a good facade on that one, didn’t I?” he laughed and you knew this was your man forever now.

Tags:

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[mariamariquinha]

Bossa Nova (Benny 'Borracho' Magalon x f!reader) - Ten

Nine | Eleven

Summary: Benny's pov (my boy is so stressed).

Word count: 7.482.

Warnings: Bad words, slightly talks about cop corruption, violence, crime, talks about mental/physical health, mention of use of pills, hospital environment and police work.

Author’s Note: I like my men like how I visualize myself: stressed and in need of a fucking break.

I'm also on AO3 now!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Join my taglist! Don’t forget to reblog, comment and like! As always, I would love to know what you’re all thinking! ❤

****

If someone asked any woman who was involved with Benny at some point in their life about him, there would always be a universal phrase: he's complicated. Not 'complicated' in a 'he has a difficult and unstable life' way, because he did, but in a 'he hasn't known how to be a nice guy for a long time' way. 

Daddy issues. Classic. 

He was committed to the Major Crimes guys, especially Nick, because there was a part of him that hated to disappoint. Aside from ego or personal compensation, Benny saw a lot of his own father in Big Nick, so despite the two being almost the same age, the position of power gave O'Brien a very complex image of a patriarch – flaws and all. When Debbie left, it was clear that Nick would follow the same path as that father, with the difference that he would at least try to spend weekends with the children; Benny wouldn't be able to recognize what the 'head of his family' should be if he had to. 

It had been years since he was just Benicio Ramirez Magalon and not Benicio Ramirez Garcia Magalon, as if he erased every particle of his father from his own history in an arbitrary way, but still having that ghost on his shoulders with O’Brien. 

He didn't think much that night, but he knew it would be natural for him to walk away. It must have been the most genuinely decent thing Benny did for any woman under those circumstances. Maybe it was the fact that you knew how to set limits, that you recognized your weaknesses with an ease that Benny couldn't.

In conclusion, he was disappointed to not find you more resilient than finding out Nick slept with informants, which soon enough he caught himself being a fucking asshole. Maybe that's why, because of this lack of cynicism on your part and the excess of the same feeling on his part, Benny concluded that you were destined for good guys. Some who, at least, didn't make the decisions he made.

****

“And we have a fireplace.”

Yeah, indeed, they had a fireplace – one that was basically turning into dust. You stood there with your arms crossed, letting your mother inspect the apartment and make comments about it. While she and the realtor (a small woman named Eidra) went back to one of the bedrooms, you sat on the small bench left behind on the miniscule living room by the last residents, watching your father look through the window.

When you two shared a glance, the answer was all over the place: a huge and big and extreme and frustrated and disappointed no.

****

Listen, it could always get worse. That was life, you know? And you should know better than to expect that the divorce and the whole Isla stuff would pass by you. Well, it passed through you. With a delay, but still. 

Some of this was your fault, you could admit. Your brother had already advised you to negotiate the sale of the house as soon as the divorce procedures were in progress and you were so catatonic, in a way, that you didn't want to add more to what already seemed too complicated. After months, you found the buyers – good price, you made a profit. 

During Christmas, you ended up tripping over the closed moving boxes and spraining your foot, so on New Year's Eve you didn’t enjoy the trip as much as you could. A bad start to the year, but not the worst thing that happened to you in a long time. 

They were organizing a farewell party for Emma; by March, she would be at DEA headquarters leading their forensic team. You had to act surprised, and politely refused to help with the details ('I'm busy with this moving thing'), which she probably took as a bitter departure. Well, it was what it seemed to be. You didn’t call her off with that, but some part of you was feeling that pit of disgust. There was a murmur about whether or not to invite Major Crimes (even though they never attended that kind of thing), which everyone ended up looking at you for clarification. You didn't know, and that's what you said, accompanied by a modest shrug of the shoulders.

“Send an invitation by email, it's less work if they say no.”

Even because you had time to rethink the unfortunate occasions with O'Brien. You felt offended but you also felt guilty, which was a rather cruel conclusion that Nick was indirectly manipulating you. When you told Gina this, she just gave a genuine shrug and sighed.

“It isn’t like he wasn’t that kind of person before, you know.”

You felt bad – you felt used again. Doubted, discredited. And the fact that you thought you wouldn't care if it happened, that you would be as strong as you had been through the divorce, just showed that you had an ability to lie to yourself. Benny left that night and you knew he had the same realization too; you found yourself believing that the opinion of someone who still followed such strict orders from someone like Nick had no opinion value in your life.

You no longer fit into LASD.

****

“You have insomnia and lack of nutrients. I'll prescribe you some pills and vitamins for both, but I need you to pump the brakes. Burnout has been killing people lately.”

Perhaps, deep down, you knew that this distancing also came with your need to hide that your physical health had worsened. It wasn't that bad, but you had barely been eating and… yeah, you really didn't need another surprise with so much going on.

The doctor pondered something, eyeing the papers and you with a serenity that was closer to reticence. You waited, shoulders slumped and eyes heavy, lacking energy to ask anything else. 

“... This seems like a pattern. The lack of sleep, your headaches… Have you considered another type of approach?”

Long short story, no. And he probably knew that too, since you were there and not in a therapist's office, so you saw him lean over the desk and give you one of those scolding looks.

“It’s very normal for people in your profession to have this type of behavior. Considering what has happened in your personal life, I would advise a psychological reevaluation.”

“I’m not depressed.”

But he hadn't hinted at it, or said anything like that out loud, which only made it all make more sense. He sighed in defeat, then signed the recipe and, alongside with it, put a flier about mental health just in case.

The medicines would be an unforeseen additional expense, but it should give you some peace of mind. At least you hoped so. 

****

“Yes.”

“Bad time?” Gina sounded quite confused on the other end of the line, so you frowned at her tone and stuffed the pills into your bag irritably, the breeze not doing much to cheer up your mood. It wasn't even summer anymore, but the day still felt unbearably hot.

“I’m not on my peak, no.”

Gina went quiet for a bit. In the background, you could hear the noise of people coming and going, as if she were in a crowded place. Calmly, you backed up the sidewalk until you were under the awning of the pharmacy you had just left, switching your phone from ear to ear to hear her better. 

“... What was it? Did someone die?” 

“Where are you right now?”

“I am…” You looked over your shoulder, then at the sign of the pharmacy printed right above your head. “Had to run some errands.”

“How far are you from the Good Samaritan?”

“Good Samar-Gina, I was joking about-”

“You won't believe who's here.”

****

He had been quiet since he arrived and it was understandable. Apart from the answers he gave to the police, there was not much interest in having any type of social interaction, which was respected: it was not as if he was or should have been accustomed to the context in which he was placed.

It was different from the other cases they had been following, Z mentioned. Maybe a slip, but no one could be sure because they weren't experts in psychological profiles and the idea of ​​involving the feds was out of the question. For a lot, there was intuition, experiences on the streets, informants… Murph had already checked, there was a strong lead and they were almost there.

No one wanted to mention the damn coincidences that led them to that hospital and, more precisely, the crime scene. Gina, perhaps, had reacted in some way that revealed a truth that no one wanted to verbalize, and Nick asked them to keep an eye on her – Emma’s leaving, until further notice these people would be a bit of a smartass. 

But what would Gina do, anyway? If she could? Would she call you of all people and ask you to pray for your ex's life? 

Still, Benny stood guard at the hospital until Gina finished work and kept an eye on the news, or at least Twitter. If you had known about it, there would already have been news on the internet and, if you had appeared, taken by an immaculate concern towards the tragedy, you would’ve already done so. All in all, the reason why everyone was on their last strings was how you going there could be harmful to the case.

Maybe that was the problem, after all: he didn't know that side of you. What kind of wife you were, what kind of friend you could be. Everything was too casual, limited to observations he made and the things he remembered when you talked. There was no more karaoke, nor costume parties or Cosmopolitans in your cards or a brother to rely on; he knew these things, but none of them were valid at that moment.

So when he saw you peeking down the hall right after Gina had left (when he himself was already determined to get out of there), Benny didn't feel so surprised because he had tested the odds. Cautiously, he stood nearby, watching your diminished, secretive posture pass by the nurses' table and take slow steps to where Theodore was at. He was frustrated, in fact, and maybe a little stressed by everything, because he certainly didn't expect you to make the dumbest decision possible.

You stopped at a safe distance from the room and didn't come any closer. With a bag slung over your shoulder, you gripped the strap tightly, standing still there as you saw what was left of a guy after getting his ass beaten up, perhaps processing things that Benny would never know about. 

The girlfriend appeared: Aileen. She also hesitated when she noticed you, holding a cup of coffee in her hand as she came up from behind. At this point, Benny became more alert, ready to intervene. Interestingly, Henderson was also returning from somewhere, certainly to pick him up, and his louder voice calling your attention caused a beautiful disaster, like an announced tragedy.

You turned around too quickly, right when she was already on your trail, and hit your arm on the coffee cup that seemed hotter than expected. It hurt, of course. You screamed as the liquid burned the skin of your hand, leaning down just in time for one of the nurses to come to your aid. Aileen stood there in confusion as the liquid hit her clothes, and before Benny could take any further steps to take action, the reality that everyone was in a hospital dawned on him and he stopped.

He exchanged a glance with you as one of the nurses took you to the emergency room. 

“What the fuck, is she out of her fucking mind?” Henderson asked eventually, even if they both knew he would apologize later. 

Benny didn't answer him, however; he doubted the answer even though he thought he was aware enough of your behavior. He just watched you go in silence, both fists clenched in anger. 

****

You had your head down, your eyes still wet from the tears from the pain you had felt. The nurse had been delicate and, considering it was relatively calm, was going through the entire process in a well-rehearsed way. The emergency room was still lively, with people going from one side to the other. When you weren't watching her clean the burn, you looked up at the other patients waiting: broken arms, bloody noses.

Last time, you saw Benny with his arms crossed near the curtain that separated your space, even though it was the only one far from the others.

You knew at that moment that you were fucked.

“Boyfriend?” The nurse asked, making you eye her then him rapidly. 

“No,” You two answered in unison, to which you ended up averting your gaze in embarrassment. 

“I'd like to talk to her privately, anyway. If you don't mind,” He pressed a little, not minding the rude tone he was using. 

She eyed him, then you. With a small nod of yours, she sighed in tiredness and rolled her eyes, tidying up the bandage before leaving. 

A silence hung in the air, tense and with a hint of the impatience he was clearly feeling. You ignored this, however, glancing at your injured hand here and there before adjusting yourself better on the stretcher.

“You know, when I was a rookie I used to get quite excited with the prospect of being heard just showing my badge,” He commented, so you couldn’t help but scoff.

“Yeah, yeah, perhaps the biggest problem in America is men with damaged egos because no one cares about the size of their dicks anymore.” 

“You always seem to have a metaphor for dicks.”

“It’s a talent.”

“As is your ability to put yourself in shitty situations.”

You looked into his face for a few seconds and found an anger that, in general, seemed to be the only thing available to you from him. No more smiles or sympathy: Benny had chosen his side of the story and, really, that was fine. Still, you couldn't help but miss the other version of him as much as you did at that moment.

“I'm not going to ask who told you because that would be a really stupid question,” He took one, two steps closer to the curtain, slightly pushing it to cover the both of you. “Let's be adults and then you tell me why you came.”

Good question. Great question, actually. Why were you there? Why did you make the fucking dumb decision to be the bigger person and show up? And, by all intends, to end up with a coffee burn from… 

Yeah, it wasn’t your prime, you could give him that. 

“He wasn't just my ex husband. And I didn't want to come, but I thought I would be an asshole if I didn’t do anything.”

Benny stared at you for a long moment then; he stood there, still, eyeing you as if he was looking for something – to the point of discomfort. You averted your gaze to the floor. 

“I've read your file, did you know that? As soon as you came in and became the talk of the team, I went to find out who you were,” It made you raise your head to him, taken aback by his sudden change of subject. “First in your class, completed a specialization while still graduating. You're kind of a genius, and honestly, you had every right to be a bit of an asshole to people.”

“... You don’t need to say this,” You said.

“What should I say then?”

“I can work with nothing,” And then you snapped at him, seeing his expression shift from serenity to full annoyance. “We’ve been doing this dance very well over the last few months.” 

When he didn't offer any further comment, sighing in impatience from your stubbornness. 

“What I mean is, you're a fucking smart scientist and everything, but you still insist on being naive like that.”

“I know,” You mumbled in defeat. 

“Do you now?”

In other times, there would be a cunning answer on the tip of your tongue; hell, in other times, you wouldn't even let him or anyone talk to you like that. The point was that you were so tired of putting yourself in this position, of facing things that weren't even your business because you had been in that defensive and combative mode since things started to get out of control.

You sighed and ran your good hand over your face, rubbing away the melancholy expression.

“Do you still like him?” You couldn’t help but raise your eyebrows in surprise at his question, watching the way he was so serious about it. 

“What’s that supposed to fucking mean?” 

He shrugged. 

“Means whatever.”

“I don’t like him.”

“It wasn't what it seemed.”

“Are you serious?” You couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief. “You don't know anything about my life to insinuate that kind of thing about me.”

“So answer me without sounding like I'm accusing you of something.”

“Well, then ask questions that don't sound like you're accusing me of something.”

And that seemed to have ended the argument (not the conversation), but Benny didn't move or seem willing to do anything to end the topic. 

“... What?” You asked with impatience. 

“The girl who spill the coffee on you, she-”

“Aileen,” Your interruption came with a huff, while wiggling the fingers of your bad hand. “Yes, she’s a stunning woman my ex cheated me with, if that’s what you’re trying to ask.”

“I’m not trying to ask anything,” Benny frowned. “You're the one on the defensive. I don't want to know the details, I just need to make sure you don't put yourself in the front line of something that’s none of your business.”

“He’s someone I know!”

“Are you serious right now?”

“No,” You used a firm tone, watching him go from stern to doubtful in a beat. “I’m a human being and unfortunately I’m sensitive enough to visit my ex who was beaten by a gang of robbers. Do I wish I had done something to her for what happened? Of course, but unfortunately I also like my job. And my ethics, if that matters.” 

“I just don't want to have to clean up any messes again.”

Deep down, if you really cared, you would’ve been more outraged by what he had said to you. In the end, you just became even more pissed off, so it probably meant that you were mad. The audacity, the… That seemed like the kind of thing that put him closer to what Major Crimes really was.

“... You're quite an asshole, you know that?”

He sighed, looking away and probably reevaluating a route. 

“I didn't mean it that way.”

“Sure. How lucky would I be to endure two public humiliations without having provoked them? I really must be a saint.” 

“Then I’ll be the bitch. I meant exactly what I meant,” You both shared a stare. 

In fact, he was right: you were complicating everything. If you had just done what you meant to do, maybe you wouldn't have acted so immature, but there you were, holding your ground because you were an idiot. This was so frustrating, so stupid. You didn't need to do that, you didn't need to try to be something you weren't. No one ever imposed this type of behavior on you, there was no gun in your head telling you that things should be that way. 

You felt defeated. Your physicality, your face, everything exuded the reflections of a woman well out of orbit. 

“I'm going to tell you something very honest,” He took a few steps closer, searching the eyes you’d been avoiding until you could be looking at each other again. “I want you away from this case. Not because I think you're gonna mess something up, but at this point it's clear that your judgment can prevail over the evidence.” 

It wasn't like he was wrong, so you stayed quiet.

“Nick is going to end up being pretty scathing about what happened here today, so believe me when I say that this time I'm really going to let you off the hook. You'll owe me one.” 

Again, you remained silent, which was a bit surprising since you almost always had something to say. He was there, stern, giving you a well-deserved scolding, pointing a finger in your face, and it was as embarrassing as it was incredibly satisfying. It wasn't like what happened in your kitchen or anything like that, because he was truly mad at you, not the circumstances. Without Nick, Isla, Emma; it was you and him. You were the target.

His eyes were focused on yours, because he wanted to say it in all words. They seemed even darker, more powerful compared to yours, and that made you move in shyness. It was a side of Benny you didn't know yet.

“And please wake up. That girl isn’t half the woman you are,” This shocked you even more, since he hadn't stopped looking visibly irritated while passing his eyes over your body. “Nor half-experienced.”

Okay, well, that was… Well… 

He shouldn’t have that right, did he? Why were you blinking several times and not saying anything then?

You stayed quiet – you didn’t want to embarrass yourself somehow. And with your silence, Benny just nodded while averting his gaze for a beat too long, passing a palm over his mouth with a tense sigh. 

“She's going to discharge you and I want you away from here, understand?” He murmured, both hands placed on the mattress to cage you. 

If he asked (which he clearly wouldn't), you would explain the details of your drunken confession from that first date. Benny was very intense, definitive; that was his version a little beyond what happened in your kitchen, and if you pushed a little harder, you'd notice that his eyes were darker than normal, putting you in an instant trance, whether out of fear, regret or… something else.

His eyes, at that moment when you just didn't say anything, went from your eyes to your eyebrows and then to your nose and mouth, agitated about how to actually look at you. 

“Am I understood?” Benny pressed with a growl. 

You nodded. 

“Yes or no?” 

“Yes.”

“Great.”

He walked away with some hesitation, but opened the curtain to leave with a brutality that made you jump instantly. You let out a heavy breath, bringing your injured and closed hand to your chest in a somewhat unconscious act of protection, but not necessarily because of him. Benny was right; reactive, but right. 

What the fuck were you doing in that place?

****

“Why did you do that?”

Henderson was driving back to the station when he asked. The car remained silent, with no answer for a long time, and Benny continued to stare at what he had written down of what Theodore said.

“She’s a partner. Big Nick would do the same.”

“I don't think so,” Henderson snorted. “You like her.” 

Benny didn't comment on that either, because there wasn’t anything to add. In any case, the lack of a reply said everything his friend needed to know.

****

Okay, Benny did like you a little. Amicably. At first it was purely sexual, and he even thought about bragging to Connors that he had managed to fuck you first, because he was sure he wasn't going to make it past the first date. But even with all the other interesting women he did the same thing with, the indifference you had made it for him. If it was just that, if you had drunk a little less and gone to bed with him that night, that would be fine to you; maybe you even expected the other guys would know about it. 

Then you two kissed and he didn’t mention anything to anyone. You became funnier and prettier and he noticed the things about you. Benny found out he liked the idea of it being a secretive thing, to remember how you sounded, the texture of your skin and the smell of your hair and keep it to himself. You were an irredeemable nerd, but you were rebellious: you clashed with Big Nick, you had a beautiful, huge tattoo on your leg, you smoked marijuana, you messed with other girls.

He enjoyed your closeness, whether as a friend or as a lover. It was advantageous to have you around.

Since what happened at the hospital, Benny thought about apologizing and saying that he was just upset. They were really close to get that guys, there was a lot of pressure from above after the debacle with the DEA, no one was in the thick of the fucking around. He didn't apologize despite wanting to, though, because he knew things didn't feel easy for you either.

Well, he couldn’t be sure of it, if he liked you as if in a crush or just as a person who he got along with. You made him hesitate to make some kind of mistake towards you, so what Benny could say for certain was that he liked you. Just a little.

****

“Do you know anything about this?”

You and your dad were in the kitchen washing the dishes when he asked. His tone was low, almost discreet to be heard only by you and, hopefully, distant enough for your mother to take note of the question. The room was small, very different from your old house, and the walls provided good coverage so that she, who was on the emergency stairs smoking a cigarette, was at an even safer distance.

Still, you peeked out the small window above the sink and could see the smoke rising from the exact place you saw her climbing. 

Earlier, they arrived talking about how the newspapers and Twitter had reported what had happened to Theodore. You did no more than say that Gina brought it up, but you weren't on the case and it was ethically (as well as judicially) wrong for you to get too close. Still, you tried hard to say that you knew he was okay – which your father clearly managed to see as a half-truth.

“... I went to see him at the hospital,” You mumbled, eyes fixed on the dishes in front of you, not daring to find out how he was looking at you. 

“You two talked?”

“No,” You paused. “But I saw Aileen.” 

He didn't say anything; the tap was still on, but the noise of dishes being moved had stopped. You pretended you hadn't noticed, going to the cupboard and putting away the already dry glasses, trying to stay away from the excruciating gaze you felt on the back of your head.

That silence had meaning; your father could go days without bringing up the subject waiting for you to talk about it. Like it or not, you could let him use this strategy, and you would have more time to decide how to talk about it, but your mother knew this habit better than you and, well, there was a reason why you were talking away from her. 

You closed the cabinet and turned around, moving closer to him before leaning the small of your back against the table, defensively crossing your arms. He turned off the tap, dried his hands; the worried expression never left his face.

“I was in the hallway and one of the detectives in charge called me. I turned around without realizing she was behind me, so she accidentally spilled hot coffee on my hand,” You held up your hand wrapped in the bandage.

“So you two didn’t interact? Aside from this?”

“Like in an indian soap opera, yeah,” Your answer made him hiss. “She apologized, I think. I don’t remember a lot.”

Well, it was a lie – one he could catch from a mile away. You remembered each piece of moment you could grab from that mess: the way her eyes widened at the sight of the coffee being spilled on your skin, the way she raised her hands to reach out, the pain, the step back you gave to make sure she wouldn’t get any closer and, specially, the way Benny and Henderson were watching the whole scene. 

The reason why you didn’t go into a spiral of remorse was this fact, that amongst Z or Nick, the ones who were there were the least worse. Gus was nice, polite and Benny was… Benny. And for days you expected for something, for Emma to give you one last penitence or for O’Brien to spill some shit on your face; God knew you deserved it all. It was a bad feeling. You didn't like the idea of ​​feeling embarrassed, the exposure or even your lack of reaction, but more than that, you felt torn by the idea that you hadn't felt as sorry for Theodore as you thought you would.

“It’s just… I’ve been punching myself for even going there in the first place,” You sighed in defeat, your good hand passing all over your face. 

“Maybe we raised you way too well.”

“That’s not entirely true… But not because of you, that is.”

And you knew you shouldn't have said that, at least not in those words, because then he would come with more arguments about how you should let your mother in, about how she wanted to be part of your life and how it would be better to have her as a support – as a woman-to-woman conversation would be more enlightening.

He didn’t even need to point that out, in fact; you already slipped in before he could open his mouth. 

“I think it's better not to.”

“Because she could be too harsh?”

“Because she could be too honest. I love her, dad, I really do, but I had a hell of a moment with a coworker that makes me ashamed to even look at his direction because of it. I…”

I don’t want to disappoint her again. I don’t want to be a burden. 

It was always much easier for your brother when it came to your mother: she welcomed him and they just understood each other. With you it was always a problem. She said you spent a lot of time with your dad, that you must be like this or that, that, honey, Theodore is a great kid but I don't think he'll come back after college. He returned. You got married. You got divorced and, during all the crises, you were also embarrassed to come back with your tail between your legs to say that she was right in a way. You made your brother swear under professional secrecy that he wouldn't tell her anything, but you still contained details just in case.

So no, it was better not to. It would be another shame, another thing that she would look at you with great pity, and you were tired of putting yourself in that position.

“I'm off the case anyway. Gina doesn't report to me, just like she gave the tests to the person on the other shift. There's no risk of me getting closer to Theodore again.”

“But you were looking for something when you went there. Did you find it?”

You stared straight at his eyes for a long, beating moment. 

“... I did.”

“And what was it?”

For a brief second, you could still feel the sensation of seeing Theodore beaten up, the dried blood and lowered eyes. Could see the way he seemed fine, injured but not unstable, able to still be operative, essential to the industry. 

“Relief.”

****

“I know you.”

You didn't expect it to come out so full of doubt, but you expected him to have some memory lapse in the time you had seen him.

Dr. Cillian Byrne was a professor you had at university just before you changed your major. It was in your first year, at the end of the first semester, and with the changes in the curriculum for your audiovisual expertise, you only had the chance to attend, roughly, three or four of his classes. He was a bit young for the position, people said, and when your academic psychopathy caught other people's attention, they told you the same thing. Unlike him, you never went that far. After you graduated, you joined the LASD and managed to pass the evaluation for field CSI, but with so much bureaucracy in the way, you ended up stationed in the laboratory for good.

Looking at him there, it felt like a full circle moment. You didn't connect the dots until that last name took place and you exchanged glances with Emma from afar, who just shook her head lightly as if to say you shouldn’t mention Ballard. 

“I took some classes with you in college,” You mentioned after saying your name, watching his eyebrows raise in recognition. 

“Right, I remember you. The girl who ran to the second boring stuff in CSI.” 

“The second?”

“It's the rule. First come the academics, then the laboratory rats, then the coroners and only then the self-centered field ones.”

Emma was walking towards you when he said that, so when she got closer and saw that the two of you were sharing friendly laughs with each other, she went from confused to pleased in seconds.

“It isn’t that usual to see a successor at a faraway party, but I feel like it’s going well,” She said.

The hotel ballroom was full (exaggeratedly, but fair enough) and judging by the amount of times you saw Dr. Byrne going from group to group with smiles, you could agree that he was breaking the awkwardness of being there under these circumstances. Maybe it was the mood itself. Everyone was well dressed, sipping expensive drinks they could only have on special occasions, laughing at whoever was on duty and taking photos for Facebook; the boring part could wait until the next day.

“I was telling her she’s the first familiar face I've seen here, which is a surprise,” Dr. Byrne lied, so you sipped on your soda to avoid giving that away. 

“... Oh,” Emma frowned, a confused smile fighting for its life to not make her discomfort so evident. “You do know each other, then.”

“He was one of my professors in college.”

“Almost,” He teased, eyes swiping from you to her. “I found out just after two weeks that she fled to the computers.” 

“You seem to have been upset about this,” She was the one teasing now, on the verge of embarrassment to be honest. 

“Well, when you start hearing how much this student who changed majors became one of the bests… It’s hard not to feel at least jealous, right?”

And perhaps Emma and you would talk about this in the future if it hadn't been in that sensitive context, because it was clear that Dr. Byrne had looked into everyone in the department and was perhaps doing background checks as if he were doing his homework. It was the first time in months that you and Emma exchanged a similar look, raising your eyebrows and understanding the situation right away, sharing glances with an inside joke that you hadn't told each other for a long time.

“She’s really great, I have to admit. Hurts me to leave this whole amazing team, to be honest,” She went the easy and polite way, one hand tapping on your arm. “I'm sure you'll get along great on a daily basis.”

“I’m looking forward to it. Who else would give me a better report on what’s up with the infamous Major Crimes’s gang?” 

This time, the discomfort that had been eating away at the edges and that you were able to overcome came to the surface, which made you step back with confusion close to indignation. Dr. Byrne seemed neutral despite this, smiling from ear to ear as he watched Emma unsure of what to say and then you, coming to the inevitable conclusion that he was an idiot.

“... I’m afraid that I’m not the best person to expect that. Perhaps the sheriff?” You gave one more chance to get away with the topic, but he shook his head and insisted, keeping that smile that started to scare you off a little. 

“Why wouldn't it be you? Emma told me that you all have an extensive professional partnership. Not to mention the quality of your reports on Ballard's cases.”

“Oh.”

“I just told him that you could explore more of your expertise with the complex cases they work with,” She rushed to add, the glare on your face now clear as the day.

“I see.”

“But I believe, Dr. Byrne, that I also added that she knows how to limit herself to technical reports, all personalized for each context. You saw it yourself, as she was an expert on a case with one of our most senior detectives.” 

Only then, perhaps added to the way you were no longer so interested in being friendly around the subject, did Dr. Byrne step back and nod, praising your ability to remain professional in the work environment or something. You honestly stopped paying attention, eyes swiping over your drink in hand to avoid any signs of clear embarrassment. 

“I’m really excited to start this new journey with you all. See you on Monday?” He turned to you, giving just enough time for your reaction to snap your head up and force a smile. 

“Of course. Welcome to LASD.”

You two shook hands, then he left. 

But Emma stayed. 

“I didn’t mean to-”

“Did you also mention your friendship with Walsh?” You couldn’t help the venom on your voice, which made her sigh. “Very professional, Emma. Very professional.”

“He just did the research, okay? I wasn’t intending to share everything about you guys, but he just came by with a fucking folder with all your names on it. Not to mention what the sheriff told me…” 

Not that you were in a position to speculate, much less to sympathize with whatever she had faced, but Emma lost her neutral posture as soon as he walked away, that you lost some of your irritation and eyed at her suspiciously, seeing her looking around and making sure no one would hear.

“I made a list of recommendations, but he didn't even read them and said that Byrne had already been chosen. Nick came up to me and said that-”

“You talked with Nick about it?”

“See how weird things are,” She rolled her eyes. “I think he feels threatened. Byrne is close to the sheriff, this could undermine O’Brien's freedoms.”

“And is it bad?”

“I don’t know… I mean, when you know how someone operates, it can be easy to guess, but I’ve never been around him enough to be sure of anything.”

“So you’re suspicious because of this,” You concluded and she agreed. With a deep breath, you looked around just as she did minutes before, catching sight of Cillian and Lennon talking. 

“He’s… an academic.”

“He’s a brat,” You shook your head, biting your lower lip while still staring at him from afar. “Older men, high IQs... Just the smell of testosterone bothers me.” 

“It's not like my feminine presence made any difference.”

When you looked at her again, surprised by her condescending tone, Emma was sipping her own drink with some embarrassment. You didn't know if you should give any approval, if you even had the right to do that, but you knew that it was just her trying to have a clearer conscience about what happened. Byrne was going to take over, and she admitted she had misgivings about the guy – it was noble, like a last shred of ethics in the middle of what seemed like a specifically planned transition.

“... You made it easier for Walsh to take over the case once and for all, didn't you?” 

Emma kept quiet, which was enough of an answer. Not knowing what to say, you nodded along in that silence, unsure if you were shocked or just… relieved. 

“I can understand your disbelief in Nick's methods. Take it from me, I had some problems because of it,” You conceded, so she raised her eyes at you sheepishly. “It's hypocritical to say that in parting, but I was upset that you did that knowing that Walsh would somehow throw me into the fire.” 

“You better than anyone could understand that it was an inevitable consequence.”

“I do, that’s why I never tried to make it a big deal all these months. God knows we have a lot to be forgiven for, so… Be careful with Mathias, ‘kay? Just as you’re telling me to be careful with Byrne.” 

It was the closest you and she could get to resolving the problems. In the future, perhaps, you could look at it more coldly and understand that it was too dramatic, but it wasn't the time; at the moment, the two of you have reached a consensus for the greater good.

The kind that included men with a lot of midlife crises.

****

Benny had seen the whole scene, from Byrne approaching you, the jokes he made you laugh at and even the moment he made you throw a look of disgust at him. He shouldn't even be there anymore: he had a date that night, one that would probably result in a good fuck and none of Emma's rascality. Still, as he watched you interact with those people, Benny ended up traveling in thought again.

He thought he missed what you had risked before. You were more relaxed, determined; you had no way of deciding what he was because the two of you barely knew each other. The dress you wore there was similar to the one on your first date, but not the same. If he tried, he could still feel your awkward drunken ways or, with more effort, visualize the result of an alcohol-free night like the one you were having at that party.

Deep down, Benny wanted to feel like a good guy because, for some reason, he didn't want to put you in that trophy position like he did or would do with other women. This comforted him; encouraged him. If he got closer again, if you started a relationship again, he was afraid that he would succumb to the boredom of not being able to hold on to that heroic feeling of having spared you from something toxic, that would soon hurt you or he would hurt himself.

“Are you going?” Connors asked as soon as he felt Benny shift beside him. “She’s gonna say some words.”

So he stayed, both feet firmly planted on the floor as long as he could, watching each other as Emma went up on the small improvised stage to test the microphone and you, who remained in the same place, one arm resting on the bar counter as you looked at the scene with a blank expression.

“You know, I never thought I would go through this before I was 60, but I think destiny is something impressive,” Emma said. “Having to say goodbye to you all is painful, but I know that this new phase will be transformative for all of us. In a positive way, that is.”

You passed your hand (the injured one) over your mouth, as if you were hiding a reaction even though no one other than him was paying attention to you.

“Since I'm not much of a talker and since I know I said my private goodbyes to everyone here, I'd like to recite one of the emails I received from my mentor once I got my position at LASD.”

Everyone got quiet. 

“True peace is only truly achieved when we realize that we cannot be all good and, therefore, we will be villains for some and heroes for others. It’s an unfair and cruel measure, but despite being protagonists of our own stories, our moral compass will not always point in the right direction. It’s up to us, as human beings, to embrace our weaknesses and ensure that, within our obligations, we can do our best. Therefore, our sacrifices will soon be seen as choices, which will or will not shape who we’ll be as people.”

It was only for a second, a thousandth of a second, when Emma finished that corny speech and everyone applauded, that Benny looked at you again and saw that you looked back. It shouldn't have meant anything to you, just like it did to him, but he knew that, perhaps, that adventure should’ve ended before it began.

That was the choice you two made.

****

No pressure tags:

@cheesybadgers

@thoroughlymodernminutia

@seaweeden

@thesandbeneathmytoes

@eclecticfashionbookszipper

@servenas-inner-fangirl

@mysoulisasunflower

[makethatelevenrings]

Somewhere Only We Know - TWO

Chapter Warnings: spoilers for 2x02, swearing but that’s part of the show idk why you would be surprised by that

shoutout to @yanna-banana​ for showing me this Instagram dupe site so I can make this a bit more ~interactive~ since reader is, y’know, a social media manager. also thanks for ur patience my lovelies, i’m having “ahhhh im graduating” depressive states and all my energy is going towards finals and existing rn.

Series Masterlist

“Okay. Laptop. Charger. Keys. Coffee. Shoes. Shoes!”

For some reason, you were a mess this morning. You had been repeating your list of things you needed over and over again and yet every time you kept discovering something else you had forgotten. Your bag lay half-packed on the couch as you ran around like a chicken with its head cut off in pursuit of your shoes. Seriously, how the fuck did you lose the shoes you had grabbed from your closet just a minute ago?

That’s because they were in your hands.

Sighing, you pulled on the sensible flats and took another moment to look around your room and list out all the things you needed for work today. The TV played in a lone drone behind you and you turned your head to see This Morning playing. Philip and Holly were interviewing some guy from that one reality show.

“What about Amy? Are you going to wait for her?” Holly asked.

“Nah, no. I was just playing a game, know what I mean?” the guy replied. Christ, was that Jamie Tartt? It was, wasn’t it. “Find the fittest girl there, have sex with her in the toilet, ask her to marry you. Strategy.”

“Wow,” you drawled before you shut off the TV. “He’s a piece of shit.”

You headed for the door and quickly backtracked. You almost forgot your entire bag and the leftovers from the shoot you had last night. Ugh, you needed more coffee.

~~~

You were scrolling through TikTok in search of a new trend to use for a Richmond video when all five foot two inches of your boss came bursting into your office.

“Oh, sorry! I should have knocked. Get your bag, babes, we’re going to lunch,” she exclaimed. “There’s this cafe that’s a ten minute walk from here and they’ve got the best coffee.”

You knew better than to argue with the pure ball of energy that was Keeley Jones. In the short time you’ve known her, you loved the beaming blonde. She and Rebecca were infectious in their laughter, light, and kindness. When you first interviewed, you were intimidated by the two women, but you quickly learned that they were goofy as hell and always down to gossip.

Grabbing your purse, you dutifully followed Keeley through the maze of hallways. She passed the locker room without a second glance, but you made sure to peek over your shoulder to see a few of the guys streaming out of the doors.

“Yo, Keeley!” someone called. She spun around and waved at whoever yelled and then grabbed your hand, pulling you over to talk to a few of the guys.

“Hi Isaac! Have you met our new social media manager yet? She’s gonna be the one making you all look sexy on the Gram now,” she announced. You offered them a tentative smile and the large man in front of you beamed.

“Isaac McAdoo,” he introduced. You gave him your name in turn and then cleared your throat. You weren’t as charismatic or bubbly as Keeley, but you were trying to make more of an effort. Your last job was filled with a few passive aggressive comments thrown over cubicle walls and then bossa nova jazz everyday. No one had been chatty or nice the way everyone was at Richmond.

“I’ve actually been meaning to set up meetings with all the players,” you explained. “My job is to handle the team’s socials, but I also want to integrate the players' ideas and individual brands. I’d also like to know if anyone is working with a management team so I can coordinate with them on certain posts.”

“Isn’t she fucking brilliant?” Keeley exclaimed.

Isaac puffed out his chest and flexed his biceps. “As long as you make us look good, then I’m in.”

Keeley patted you on the shoulder. “We should get going to lunch, but check your email soon. I’ll make sure we can coordinate times to meet.”

“Awesome. Nice to meet you!” He darted off to go talk to someone else and Keeley slid her arm into the crook of yours so she could lead you out of the building and down the road.

“Isaac’s all bark and no bite unless you’re on the field,” she explained. “Sam is an absolute sweetie and Colin is darling. Richard is my go-to when I need to know a wine pairing and Zoreaux is a beast at Dance Dance Revolution. Bumbercatch is…”

Keeley listed off all the players on the team and you tried to keep a mental catalog of everything she said, but it was making your head spin. You were grateful once she stopped outside a small cafe that was indeed a short walk from Nelson Road. A simple vanilla latte and a chicken cobb salad was your order while Keeley got a complicated drink and a wrap.

The owner, Alex, handed the two of you your drinks and you turned with the intention of finding a table to wait for the food when Keeley stopped short. Some guy stood half-obscured by the plant shelves, but he stepped out once he realized he caught Keeley’s attention.

“Jamie?!” she exclaimed.

“I-I’m not stalking ya,” he blurted out. “I’ve been following you for, like, a few blocks now and I couldn’t text ya because I deleted your number.”

As he rambled on, his words started to fade in and out as you took him in. His slicked back hair made him look like a corny Godfather character and the all black ensemble didn’t help. You could understand why people fawned over him with that strong jaw and blue eyes, but as his lips moved all you could hear was his smarmy talk from the show this morning. 

“So, yeah, I’ve been following you for the last few blocks. No, I’m lying. I’ve been following you for your whole lunch hour. But I’ve just been trying to build up the courage to say hi…so…hi.” His voice trailed off and he shrugged.

“That’s, like, the definition of stalking,” you murmured which drew his attention to you. Jamie Tartt was starting to feel like a bad omen that was following you around.

“Hi, sorry. Jamie Tartt.” He offered you a cocky smile that you recognized from the TV that morning and you merely glanced down at his outstretched hand. You had no idea where that hand had been. Raising a single eyebrow, you let your gaze trail up from his hand to his face.

“I’ll go find us a table,” you said to Keeley before you brushed past him and found an empty table by the window. You always loved sitting by the window and watching the world pass by. You could make up stories about the people that passed by. Like the lady walking two poodles. Maybe she was some CEO or maybe she was an undercover agent. That would be sick as hell.

“Sorry about that, babe,” Keeley apologized. She placed your salad in front of you and then took the seat across from you. “Now, I just want to say that your idea about meeting all the players? Brilliant. Absolutely fucking brilliant. When we get back to the office, we can set up a calendar for everyone to schedule a time to meet with you. How’s that sound?”

“That’s great. I really love working here.” You looked towards the door where Jamie Tartt was heading out of, a coffee clutched in his hand. He glanced back at the table you were sitting at and you immediately looked away and back at Keeley. You offered her a tight smile and nodded along to whatever she was saying.

Hopefully that was the last time you would ever see Jamie Tartt.

Tag List: @shiptheship​

[redactedgender]

songs i associate with redacted audio characters - speaker & listener edition

oh yeah baby, we back for round two

im not gonna include a singing voice claim for everyone this time around, but some of these might have them in there. also, im only doing three speaker characters this time around because im also including three listener characters. but, i will include four songs for the listener characters. just for funsies.

!! CW FOR SUI/ MENT !!

geordi

hate myself - dodie

; my poor sweet geordi. my little man. this song is far too relatable enough as is, but i have a feeling our resident tetris boy would relate very much to this song. specifically the chorus—“when you go quiet i hate myself” is almost literally about how geordi felt when he was first getting used to cutie’s silence. i can imagine how vulnerable it was for him. he’s getting better tho! which is exactly what i wanted!

voodoo doll - 5sos

; so a bit of a weirder pull for him, i like the idea that in the days after meeting and getting cutie’s number, his thoughts were just plagued with images of them in his mind. do i think they put them into his head? no, but this was early cutie, so it could have been possible. but i like the idea of one of geordi’s thoughts just going all conspiracy over why he kept thinking abt them.

wish me luck - wallows

; another sad one for our tetris boy, and this might even be sadder than the dodie song. i love wallows, theyre probably in my top fave artists, and all their songs are sooo good. this song just screams geordi to me. the genius lyric website says that this song is about “the narrator [is] asking for support and validation from a loved one during times of struggle and self-doubt, whilst talking alot about encouraging self-awareness and speaking out about inner conflicts and problems”, which. i mean. yeah, thats geordi and cutie alright! i imagined this when they were slowly starting to talk to each other again but were still really nervous about what the other would say.

━━

sam

leaving lonesome flats - dierks bentley

; so this song is. alright so its from the second trolls movie. BUT HEAR ME OUT OK. this is my sam singing voice claim and i think its damn near perfect. i would have done bentley's song “what was i thinking?” instead but i think the trolls song fits better. something about running and coming back, etc etc. listen, this song is just really good, and i think it makes sense for sam. that’s the only explanation i can give here dhsjdhjd

she keeps me up - nickleback

; i was not a fan of nickleback for a while, and now im kinda vibing with some of their songs, but this has such big sam and darlin' energy to me. like, look, darlin' is canonically hot as fuck (as confirmed by porter), and i really just think this song fits really well with their dynamic.

believe me - james and the shame

; so we're all in agreement that sam definitely has some kind of religious trauma (most likely catholic/christian) right? anyways, i only recently got into gmm last year, and when i heard this song i was like “there’s no shot that’s rhett from gmm”. knowing that rhett writes this from the perspective of someone healing from a religious past that was harmful was really empowering, and i think that it fits sam really well.

━━

blake

absinthe - idkhow

; this song is just cult leader energy. i know he isnt a cult leader really, but like. i mean. sometimes i think closeknit might see blake as some kind of deity or god to worship. but i can imagine blake lowkey liking having that kind of power for one reason or another.

how i’d kill - cowboy malfoy

; this to me suits blake because of the tone shift in the song. where it goes from slow and almost eerie to a bossa nova jazz type swing to it. to me, it reflects how blake is really like: the way he was around sunshine vs bestie, like in his “two sides to a yandere” audio.

if i killed someone for you - alec benjamin

; uh. well. i had this song on the playlist before the “for you” audio. and then the audio happened. so. blake-core i guess??

━━

darlin'

vampire - olivia rodrigo

; this is such an obvious fucking song to put for them but also i do not care it still fits. this is about quinn, obviously, and i think it especially hits hard after listening to their second vid with sam and how they mentioned finding another vamp that quinn had slept with. like, was this another manipulated vamp? this song just hits differently when you think about darlin'. and also, even if it’s overplayed, the song slaps.

paul revere - noah kahan

; there are definitely other noah kahan songs on my tank playlist, but this one is just such a good depiction of who they are. them coming back to dahlia, people recognizing them but them saying they’re not from dahlia, how dahlia doesn’t feel like home, like—something about that just really hits me in a way that i love.

howlin’ for you - the black keys

; this is my “darlin's go-to karaoke song” song. imagine them kinda drunk, feeling themself and having fun, singing this in front of their pack, and especially in front of sam. like it’s such a good song for them.

best friends - grandson

; this is here because in my little universe, darlin', david & asher were in a band as teens, and they covered this song. but also, this is such a teen!tank song. this was probably playing while they beat up tires in an abandoned parking lot. like i imagine david wasn’t as much a rule breaker as asher, milo, amanda, christian, & tank were, but you gotta admit their friend group were probably hellions in their own right.

━━

honey

disco man - remi wolf

; this is a good song that fits honey in my eyes. it’s sort of like about guy from honey’s perspective from earlier in their friendship/living situation. learning that the guy who won’t stop flirting with you with the cute smile is a creative writing major probably made honey regret crushing on him asjkgfhjks.

lego ring - faye webster & lil yachty

; ok this actually is inspired by oh, baby, baby by lovelylonerliterature because that is one of the best guy/honey fics i’ve read in a while, but i think honey learning to be softer and be a bit silly with it is so wonderful. also, i like the idea that guy would joke propose with something silly like a bread tie ring or a lego ring but honey would fully take it as a promise for the future and just break guy. what can i say, i like making our pizza boy flustered. and so do they.

“listen to your heart.” “no.” - cheekface

; this is just based on vibes. guy sings most of the song, honey only sings the “no” lines. i’m a genius.

soft bitch - rio romeo

; awww, honey you sap you! no but seriously, i imagine that honey often thinks about how much guy has changed them for the better. and they haaaaate it. y'know that one tiktok audio where someone’s like "he makes me smile—OH WHAT THE FUCK"? that was honey when they realized they had a crush on guy. and this song kind of embodies that too; honey isn't used to being sweet, but being with guy has made them into a sappy person, which they never thought they would be, and how much they actually enjoy it.

━━

freelancer

just existing - daysormay

; so not only is this my favorite song at the moment, this is also my freelancer theme song basically. the lyrics "it always took too long to learn how to slow down / chasing shortcuts and serotonin touchdowns" and "maybe i lost drive / i'm searching every day for relief / and chasing a break that i don't really need" feels like our resident (and chronic) overworking deviant. this also works when you think about freelancer singing this and each of the verses matching with one of the D.A.M.N. crew boys.

my body - young the giant

; a song about feeling the need to overwork yourself to get better at something because you have a fear of failure and falling behind, in my freelancer playlist? how ridiculous! /j no but in all seriousness this song is a perfect depiction of their need to keep pushing, keep working, to be perfect. i think even when they know they’re good at something, they have to be better. they need to be better to prove themself.

empty bed - cavetown

; so this is a bit more of a depressing and sad song for freelancer, but one i think still makes sense. this reminds me of early s3!freelancer, still healing from the inversion and terrified of everyone they love going away. how they grew up, how they hide their pain as best they can so they don’t bother anyone with their problems, but how they dont want their friends to deal with that kind of pain. how they don't want the D.A.M.N. crew to be in pain, but was so hesitant to let the others know their own pain.

babyface - artio

; so i found out abt artio recently, and when i looked them up on tiktok and saw the lead singer, rae, i immediately said “oh, that's crow!” (for those who dont know, crow is the name of my freelancer-sona). this is very specifically for my freelancer-sona, but i think it stills works for canon!freelancer. how their people pleaser tendencies can make them so quick to change themself for others but how they’ve slowly grown to be more confident in themself.

━━━━

this took. far too long hdsjhd

i am still considering sharing my spotify link on here, so if you want to see which of the redacted audio character playlists are on the app, pls let me know!

[1waveshortofashipwreck]

Hey Em how are you? Soooo can I request a ship? I'm Jess (she/her), im in my late 20s, I'm 5 ft 3, I have short (peaky blinders style hehe) dark brown hair and light brown eyes, as far as I know (I did the test once) my MTBI is INTJ??? I consider myself a cat person, but I also like dogs too, what else? Oh I really love outdoor activities such as hiking because I love nature, rocks and maps!!! I'm a bookworm, kinda nerdy and really musical fueled person and my faves are jazz, bossa nova and classic rock music (as you know). My love language is probably small acts of service and tiny little stuff here and there and I can't think anything else interesting to tell you :(

AAAAAAAAA HI JESS!!!! I'm sorry it took me so long to get to your ship 😅🫠 thank you for being so kind and patient!! I had a lot of fun writing this one lol 😆 Love you and hope you enjoy!!

I ship you with...

Ron Speirs!

A song from my playlist that reminds me of y’all’s relationship - You’re My Best Friend by Queen

How you met

So I’m picturing you’re part of WAC and assigned to be an administrator/runner person with Easy Company

It’s towards the end of the war in Hagenau

Ron was getting frustrated with all the paperwork bullshit he needed to do as Easy Company’s new CO

He was in his makeshift office trying to filter through papers when he heard a knock

“What is it?” He all but barks at the intruder

You come in and all of a sudden the paperwork doesn’t matter

For one thing, he is FLOORED

Your hair and eyes are just fucking striking, and you had this air about you

Usually everyone was intimidated by Ron, especially when first meeting him, but you didn’t seem put off in the slightest - you held your own

“Captain Speirs, here are the documents you requested, and a couple of others from Regiment”

He had to compose himself before opening his mouth, otherwise his tongue probably would’ve rolled onto the floor

“Thank you Sergeant… will that be all?”

Usually you were the one to ask that question, but Ron wasn’t really ready for you to leave the room

“Um, yes sir”

“Alright, dismissed”

Later that day he phoned Regiment and asked for you to be assigned as his orderly

How he knew he loves you

So you’ve been working as Ron’s orderly for a while, and the two of you work like a well-oiled machine

Like Easy Company has never been so efficient and organized

The two of you almost seemed to have your own code, and it bewildered everyone in Easy Company

How were you not afraid of him? And How were you able to tell him what to do?

You had grown to like Ron a little more than a Sergeant should like an officer, but you never acted on it

So y’all are in Austria and everyone is getting excited to go home

Ron was in a similar mindset, but then he realized

All of his daydreams about being home involved you

How the fuck did you wind your way into his mind? What was he going to do? Was he really going to ask you to come home with him? If not, could he live without you?

“Ron!”

Your voice snapped the officer back to reality, but soon he was lost again

He was looking into your eyes, displaying a certain passion he had never seen before

It was now or never

Ron walked to where you were, on the other side of his desk, put his hands on your shoulders, and gently but confidently pressed his lips to yours

Time stopped while the two of you kissed, and neither of you could believe it was really happening

“Come back to Boston with me, Jess,” he asked you quietly, only pulling away enough to ask the question

Your brain was still going a million miles a minute, but you were able to focus enough to say

“Yes sir”

A conflict that arose and how y’all solved it

So you like to have your introvert time outdoors, and you usually let Ron know if you’re going to go on a hike or something

When you woke up Ron had already gotten up and out of bed, when you went out to the kitchen Ron was there with a cute lil bedhead making breakfast

You wrapped your arms around his slutty lil waist and planted a kiss on his shoulder “Morning, sunshine”

He smiled and turned around to wrap his arms around you and place a lil kiss on your nose “Morning doll, you going on your hike today?”

“Yeah, I’m trying a new trail, but I’ll be home before dark”

“Alright, you be safe for me”

“Yes sir”

So you go on your hike and it’s a fun little trail but it takes longer than you anticipated and it’s a couple of hours after sunset by the time you get home

You open the door and you notice Ron pacing in your living room

He sees you open the door and locks eyes with you, and his eyes are angry

“Where the fuck have you been!?”

You stood there for a moment like a deer in the headlights

“I was… on my hike…”

“You said you’d be home before sunset! It’s almost 11!” Ron yelled, he’s never yelled at you before and it was something you hoped never to experience again

“I-it took longer than I thought Ron… I’m sorry…” You were trying to keep a calm and level voice, but Ron just seemed so upset

Ron heard the tone in your voice and automatically knew he was being rather harsh

He bit his lip in frustration and looked around the room, tapping his foot anxiously

“I read a story in the paper today after you left, there were a couple of hikers that disappeared on a trail near here…”

His voice was quiet, almost cracking?

“I…I was scared when you didn’t come home…”

Ron looked up at the ceiling, begging the tears not to fall from his eyes

Your heart just sank as you ran over to him, enveloping him in a hug

“Oh Ron, I’m so sorry, the trail was just longer than I thought”

He buried his face in your neck as quiet sobs left his mouth

The two of you just stood there for a moment, holding each other close

“I don’t want to ask you not to go on hikes, Jess, but the idea of you just disappearing is terrifying…”

“How about you come with me on my next one?” You put your hands on his cheeks and gently turn his face to look into his eyes

He smiles softly at your suggestion and nods his head

The two of you share a soft kiss before settling in for the night

Your happily ever after (what your relationship looks like!)

This man does everything for you and there’s nothing you can do to stop him

Breakfast? Made and plated when you get out of bed

Dishes? Done yesterday

Your car broke down? He drives you to work and takes your car to the shop

Literally Ron would do absolutely anything for you

Sometimes though you beat him to something (like you do the dishes before he gets to it) and he’s just so… moved?

Like the idea of someone doing something for him is just so foreign so when you cook dinner or do the laundry he just falls in love with you all over again

A silly headcannon about your relationship!

So you tell Ron you consider yourself a cat person

Sweet boy decides to get you a kitten for your birthday

He has no idea where to even begin with it though

He enlists the help of *drunk Speirs voice* LIEUTENANT LIPTON

He picks the most adorable, affectionate kitten EVER and keeps it at Lipton’s place until it’s your birthday

The morning of your birthday he’s arranging everything to be super cute and sweet and decorated when you wake up - I’m talking balloons on your chair, special birthday pancakes, the works

He snuck out last night to pick up the kitten so he could give her to you later in the afternoon

But the sweet baby escapes her carrier and makes her way into the kitchen

You wake up to a loud crash and run to the kitchen

The kitchen is in tatters and Ron is out of breath sitting on the floor, covered in maple syrup and the kitten sleeping on top of his head

He sees you and you SWEAR there’s a blush on his cheeks

“Happy birthday darling,” he offers in a defeated tone

All you can do is laugh before kneeling next to Ron (and take a Polaroid of him with the kitten)

“Who’s this lil baby?” You ask as you take the sleepy kitten in your arms

“Your birthday present…”

Your eyes just light up and you look down at your new fur baby before pulling Ron into a tight hug (forgetting he’s covered in maple syrup)

“Do you like your gift love?”

“Yes sir”

Thank you again for the request Jess!!! Hope you enjoyed it 💕🩷✨