#AND BEING ABLE TO PAUSE TIME MEANS YOU CAN STRATEGIZE

[rotarywires]

i love how i fought one (1) dragon in inquisition and then decided Yeah, I Can Fight The Guardian Of Mythal AND An Archdemon

[samhatch]

Things I would put in my ACOTAR fixit fic:

Stone Heart

ABOUT: When I first read ACOTAR, I thought this was unique to Tamlin. I don't recall it being said in the first book that it was related to Amarantha's curse, so I thought this was just something about Tamlin's past that we would learn later.

WHAT I WOULD CHANGE: I'd really like to take this in a Howl's Moving Castle or Odin direction, that Tamlin had to sacrifice his heart in order to gain a powerful ability. I would make that his shapeshifting ability. Making this ability something he gained on his own, rather than something he inherited, would be so much more interesting! It would also mean that his true "high lord beast form" is something we still haven't seen, and is an ultimate form even Tamlin is afraid of using. This would also mean that when Feyre gains abilities from all the high lords, she does not gain the ability to shapeshift, which could solve some plot issues down the road. Also, also: this would mean that his heart is stone forever, and cannot be healed by breaking the curse. He made a faerie deal, and those can be unforgiving.

2. Feyre's Mother

ABOUT This line from the book has always stood out to me: “Didn’t … ,” Tamlin interrupted, his deep voice surprisingly gentle, “didn’t your mother tell you anything about us?” I prodded the table with my forefinger, digging my short nails into the wood. “My mother didn’t have the time to tell me stories.” I could reveal that part of my past, at least. Lucien, for once, didn’t laugh. After a rather stilted pause, Tamlin asked, “How did she die?” When I lifted my brows, he added a bit more softly, “I didn’t see signs of an older woman in your house.” (Page 79-80.) WHAT I WOULD CHANGE I want to make Feyre's mother fae. Specifically a Selkie, that Papa Archeron would have kidnapped on one of his sea voyages when he was young. He hid her cape that allowed her to transform back into a seal, and she was forced to marry him and have his children. Because she was in human form when she had her daughters, they would all be 100% human, and not fae, despite having a fae mother. This also explains why Feyre's mother was so bitter and disconnected from her family. She only ever wanted to go back to the ocean. But eventually she died of heartbreak and homesickness. This is also why Feyre is so hung up on her promise to her mother, even though she wasn't treated very well: it was a fae contract and unbreakable, without Feyre ever realizing it. I think it's also possible that one of her mother's relatives (or maybe Tamlin, since she would have been one of his subjects) would have cursed Papa Archeron for not returning her to the ocean, and that's why all of his fortunes changed so drastically and suddenly. It wasn't until Tamlin lifted that curse that her father was able to make money again. (I also like the idea that her father is genuinely a savvy businessman who was cursed to make bad deals, and all the riches he earns after the curse is lifted were earned by him and not just cash that Tamlin magically threw at him.)

3. Illiteracy

ABOUT Feyre being illiterate is important to her character as a human, so I wouldn't change that, but I would change how she gains literacy in the second book. WHAT I WOULD CHANGE This might be cheating, but I would just have her gain literacy after the high lords give a piece of themselves to resurrect her. Give her pieces of their knowledge about each court as well, and it helps bridge the uncomfortable age gaps, fast tracks her literacy, and gives her important strategic knowledge of the whole of Prythian. This way, her becoming a leader feels more legitimate, and that it's a position she could actually command with genuine competence. Is it cheating? maybe. Would it change her character completely? probably. But no more so than her character already changed form book 1 to book 2 I think.

4, The Trials

ABOUT I know this was some folks' favorite part of the book, but for me it was the opposite lol! The first half felt whimsical and magical, and the second half felt rushed, anticlimactic, and disjointed. To this day, I don't understand why Amarantha made a deal with Feyre, when she'd already won! There was no benefit to this deal for Amarantha, she could have captured and tortured Feyre to her heart's content. It's lazy writing, honestly. WHAT I WOULD CHANGE Amarantha needs something from Feyre that she can't get on her own. I don't know what that is yet, but I'll figure it out (maybe it's her mother's selkie coat for some reason, or maybe there's magic protecting Feyre that prevents Amarantha from killing her outright, so she puts her in a no-win-scenario aka: the trials.) I would also change the trials. I hate the worm. It felt so lazy to me, like a Dune worm? Really? If there is actual faerie-lore to back this up, I'll accept it, but it just felt like SJM was throwing in the kitchen sink of sci-fi cliche's. I would nix the worm completely, and redo the trials. The only trial I liked was the one where she had to read, because it felt like there was actual build up to that in the books, and the cost of losing being her friend's life rather than her own felt like the stakes were really high. Too bad she only won by cheating. :/ I would craft the trials in a way that force Feyre to think outside the box, and really understand the fae's love for wordplay and cleverness. Here's how I would construct the trials: 1. A Hunting Trial - where Feyre has to hunt a mythical beast. She thinks it's going to be a terrifying monster, but isn't prepared for it to be a pucca that looks like her mother. Trauma ensues! :D 2. The Riddles Trial - I wouldn't change anything about this! It forces Feyre to come to terms with her stubbornness and unwillingness to accept Tamlin's help when he first offered to teach her to read. 3. Embracing Tamlin - keeping the inspiration from the Ballad of Tam Lin, Feyre needs to hold onto Tamlin while Rhys reaches into his mind and forces Tamlin to take all kinds of terrifying shapes that hurt Feyre. Feyre never lets go, and passes the trial despite all the harm it causes her. Feyre passes the trials, but at the cost of her life, and Tamlin has to hold her dead body, knowing that his shapeshifting killed her. :'(

I'll reblog this and add to it as I get more ideas! Let me know what you think! I'll write out an actual fic at some point, but I feel like I need to finish reading the first three books to do it justice.

[qqueenofhades]

Hi Hilary. I want you to know how much your writing is brightening a sad Christmas for me. If you're still taking requests I'd love to see Ivan and Fedyor coming back together after being parted for a long time.

Doesn't have to be the 'big' parting, just anything for a significant length of time. I miss the husbands, and I'm rereading all my fave old fics.

It has been almost a month on the road, slogging through the frozen wastes of Tsibeya after an especially ill-advised invasion attempt of eastern Fjerda ended in predictable failure, and Ivan is gaunt, cold, filthy, sporting an especially scruffy beard that he loathes with the fire of a thousand splendid suns, and otherwise more than ready for the comforts of home, in more ways than one. He's normally impervious to whatever discomforts the field can throw at him, but they're more bearable when he's with Fedyor, and they've spent almost all of the last year apart -- Ivan directing the northern theater against the Fjerdans and Fedyor tied up with operations against Shu Han in the south -- and since the tsar's never-ending war is going even more stupidly than usual and they have very little to show for it, Ivan is therefore most displeased at this enforced separation.

As the dispirited caravan creaks and clanks through the gates of Os Alta, Ivan and Kirigan riding side by side at the head of the column and trying to look like this is a triumphal homecoming instead of a humiliating defeat, Ivan turns his head in all directions. The southern campaign broke off several weeks ago at least, according to the spies, and they were also obliged to beat a retreat northward to the capital. Not that this is an outcome to cover themselves in glory either, but at least it means Fedyor might be home.

Ivan swings down from his saddle, issues a few terse replies to the assorted underlings who swan up with assorted idiotic questions (his purpose is to deflect them from Kirigan, but he sorely needs a hench-henchman whose purpose is to deflect idiotic questions from him) and looks around again as if his head is on a pivot, barely listening to anyone or able to offer any explanations or strategic advisements. Fedyor is here, right? The fucking Shu didn't pull some funny trick at the last moment and either delay their return or -- Saints forbid -- even worse? Bad enough to be returning from the imbroglio in Fjerda with nothing to show for it, but if something happened to Fedyor --

Just as Ivan is about to properly spiral off the handle, he senses a familiar warm presence in the alcove nearby, waiting for him to finish his duties and come to meet him, and flatly ignores the First Army lieutenant pressing for a detailed status update. Ivan shoves past him, then breaks into a run, ducking under the eaves. "Fedyor!"

Fedyor grins at him, dark eyes dancing and dimples doing that stupid thing they do that causes Ivan's heart to perform all number of absurd calisthenics. "About time, don't you -- "

Whatever else he's going to say is cut off as Ivan grabs him into a rough, hungry kiss, dragging Fedyor off his feet, whirling him around, and pushing him up against the back wall of the cloisters. He almost doesn't care if anyone sees them (besides, they're all too terrified to ever say a word), and takes his time about kissing Fedyor slow and thoroughly, until he is good and properly ready to stop (or rather, pause for breath). Then he growls, "Yes, I would damn well say it is."

They have had one too many close calls with nearly being caught by Kirigan and/or some other officious underling walking in on them when they didn't bother to get all the way to to their room first, so they do, though it's a terrible strain to keep their hands off each other that long. Then they slam the door, shed their keftas, and get around to reuniting properly. There is that one upside to being separated for so long, Ivan thinks dizzily. It does make the reunion especially sweet.

Afterward, they lie in bed curled up in a tangle of limbs, Fedyor's head resting on Ivan's chest and his fingers lightly stroking and Healing away the worst of Ivan's new crop of scars. He doesn't bother to ask how Ivan got them, but Ivan can sense his consternation in the particular ferocity of his touch. "It's all right," he murmurs. "I'm fine."

"You always say that." Fedyor sighs. "You are, I hope, at least back until spring?"

Ivan shrugs. It's a week until the Winter Fete, when combat operations are technically forbidden by the Faith and when everyone just wants to huddle up by a warm fire and drink hot kvas, but there's no way to say for sure. Still, he doesn't want to spoil their reunion with such talk. So he just rolls them over, puts Fedyor on his back, and takes his time about reminding him that they are here, now, together, alive, real. And that -- as ever, as always -- is all that truly matters.

[convexicalcrow]

snippet of an idea i can't fit into the man lost prince au storyline but might turn into a lil vignette thingy.

-

"The Lord of Pixandria to see you, Govenor."

Pearl looks up to see Pix being ushered in by one of her guards and smiles. "Pix! How lovely to see you again."

"And I you, Govenor. I'm not interrupting, am I?" Pix said.

"No, no, nothing that can't wait. Sit, please," Pearl said, indicating a chair for him by the window. She got up and joined him, pausing only a moment to send the guard for tea and bread. "So, what brings to you Djesdjes? Just normal business?"

"Yeah, just regular trading, you know the drill. Actually, I had come to ask you something. I've heard the Tjehenu are causing you problems, is that right? Increased patrolling or something?" Pix said.

Pearl sighed. "Yeah, yeah, something like that. Not even doing anything either, just swarming around the oasis like a pack of dogs. Gods. They haven't been bothering you, have they? You don't normally come into trouble with them, do you?"

Pix shook his head. "No, no trouble here. Pixandria is too well defended for them to bother with, as far as I know. I have seen more patrol groups around though, which is troubling. It's not like them to build up troops like this without good reason."

"I mean, they do soemtimes do it just to annoy us. To remind them we're surrounded by their land, you know? It's not really their land, their nearest settlement is days away, but they come anyway. At least all they've done is hang around and occasionally harass travellers. They could be coming here to steal from us, which would be much worse," Pearl said.

Pix laughed. "Better not give them any ideas then!"

"Definitely not! There's been chatter from some of the travellers who've come by that Kyrini is in a bit of a mess right now. Some have talked about a change in leaders, which would make sense. Still, Kyrini's so far from where we are that them being here makes no sense, not really, apart from taking vital troops away from a city in turmoil. Which might perhaps be why someone got toppled," Pearl said.

"Oh yeah, I did hear something about that. That might make more sense, yeah. Still, it is troubling. With someone trying to prove their strength, it's entirely possible they'll come after Djesdjes, thinking it's an easy target as it's far from Tameri. News would take weeks to arrive, let alone reinforcements. If you haven't been beefing up your security, then I'd advice it, just in case," Pix said.

"You and I both know how isolated things are out here, that's for sure. But yeah, I have been putting more guards up. Anyone able to fight has been trained. We might need it. Better to be prepared than be caught off-guard. You don't think they'll invade, will they?" Pearl said.

Pix shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe? It's possible, of course. All things are possible. Is it likely? I'm less inclined to think so. This very much feels more like a new general throwing his weight around than someone seriously considering invasion. I mean, what would be the point? Kyrini's far more strategically important to them than Djesdjes."

"I know, I know. Still, it's always good to prepare. We can still shelter with you if we need to, right?" Pearl said.

"Of course, of course. Pixandria is home to anyone who needs her," Pix said.

"Good, good. Not that we might need to flee, but it is good to know I can send people there if I need to. Rebuilding the defences after the invasion has taken much time, and they're still not all finished. We keep running out of stone to build with. The quarrying is what takes the time," Pearl said.

"Always the way, for sure. Oh, and now that I think about it, there has been one weird group I've seen around the place. They were Tameri. I recognised their colours as those of Waset. I'm not sure what they were doing this far out, but perhaps they've been to Djesdjes and you have more insight into their business here," Pix said.

Pearl raised an eyebrow. "Tameran soldiers from Waset in this part of the desert? Now that is interesting, especially with the increase in Tjehenu patrols. Not that I suspect they're working together, but well. from what I've heard, there's a lot of power still in Waset and a deep desire to keep it that way. They've definitely not been here, though. If you do see them again, please let me know."

"Will do, of course. And look, perhaps it's nothing. Maybe it's just a coincidence. I don't know. But it is odd for them to be so far from home, and not having visited Djesdjes. I'd keep an eye out for them if I were you, just in case there's something odd goinig on," Pix said. "From what I remeber of the Governor of Waset, he was a rather vain and power-hungry man with the army to back up his power. Let's hope he wants nothing to do with this place."

Pearl nodded. "Indeed, indeed."

[museofhestia]

Tarot Card of the Decan: Four of Swords

The Four of Swords:

The minor arcana tarot card that corresponds with the Third Decan of Libra is the Four of Swords. This is a card of Libra, and a Card of Jupiter. Therefore, you could also interpret the 4 of Swords as having a strong Jupiter influence, or to represent Jupiter in Libra.  (Jupiter does not have to be in Libra for this card to be relevant, but it helps to think of Jupiter as influencing this section of the zodiac from wherever it currently resides, and that this card should be interpreted by blending the archetypes of Libra and Jupiter)

Four of Swords Keywords and Concepts:

Contemplation

Faith

Healing

Inner Peace

Meditation

Peace

Pause

Recharging

Recovery

Reflection

Rest

Respite

Retreat

Renewal

Solitude

Trust

Quiet Time

Four of Swords General Meaning:

In the image on the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith version of the Four of Swords, we see a solitary figure, laying on a bed (or a grave) with their hands in a prayer position on their chest.  They seem to be in a sacred and safe place - a stained glass window reflects soft light on them from above.  Three swords are hanging vertically on the wall nearby,  points downward toward the resting person.  A fourth sword is hanging horizontally under the bed - point toward the feet of the resting person.  The four swords nearby suggest that this person is a warrior of some kind - ready to pick up an sword and jump into action at any time.  But we must remember that Swords in Tarot are the element of Air - so this is likely a symbol of readiness of mind.  If the swords represent our thoughts and the actions of our mind, then this card is a great reminder that we not only need physical rest - but we need mental rest as well. 

The 4 of Swords signifies this period of rest, recuperation, and a strategic retreat. The card depicts a temporary withdrawal from the challenges and stressors of life. It suggests a need for respite to recharge one's physical and mental energies.

This card indicates a conscious decision to take a break from the demands of daily life or a situation that has been mentally taxing. It encourages the individual to seek solace in moments of quiet contemplation, allowing the mind to find clarity and rejuvenation. The 4 of Swords is a reminder that, just as a warrior rests between battles, there are times when a pause is not only necessary but beneficial for long-term well-being. 

The beautiful stained glass window above the resting figure suggests that there is an incoming blessing of enlightenment.  Stained Glass windows are representations of spiritual wisdom - since they are often used to depict stories and lessons through their images in churches.  In this way, the card represents that while you rest - you may receive the answer you have been seeking. Sometimes we may be working very hard to solve a problem, write a book, or understand the meaning of something that happened to us.

 We try and try but are not quite able to figure it out - until we rest!  In rest, we surrender and give in to a sense of hope or faith.  We accept that we do not understand, and settle into meditation or even sleep - and suddenly, there it is!  The understanding we were seeking suddenly arises within us - but not until we surrendered to rest and stillness.  This card advises that through a period of meditation, rest, and stillness, one can gain insights, heal, and emerge with a renewed sense of purpose and resilience.

Additional note:  One could also look to this card and see an image of a carved figure of a resting person - as if carved on the grave marker or a casket. This card could represent the final rest that is death, and the blessings that are received in heaven or the afterlife. Whether you interpret it literally or not, there is strong suggestions of endings and rest, faith, and a reward or blessing that follows the trials and challenges of life.

[tarot-by-e11e]

Hello! I'd like to participate in your new game 🩷

My initials are M.W, and my go to song is "Am I wrong" by Nico & Vinz

As for the question, my dream life would mean: me and all my loved ones being healthy, me overcoming all my irrational fears, connecting with people more, doing something that i like to do and that helps others in some way, going out more, spending more time with my mom, having more money so my family could be financially secure, also i would like to be in a healthy romantic relationship and have a group of amazing friends that i could connect with easily

Thank you!!

Hi M.W.,

Thank you so much for participating in my new ask game~

“Am I Wrong” is such a fun and chill song~ It made me so nostalgic! Thank you for reminding me that this song exists! I hope things turn out well for you so that you can eventually achieve your dreams.

The cards I pulled for you regarding the Encouragement of your Future Self are:

Knight of Swords, 4 of Coins, Fool

These are the things your Future Self wants to tell you:

“If you want something, you have to ask for it and take it. My dear, you can’t be passive about your dreams. You know that right? If you don’t know how to achieve your dreams, break the tasks down to smaller actionable steps.

If you get overwhelmed, just take a pause and step back from the situation. If you take time to sit down and break down what needs to be done for you to achieve your dreams, the path forward will look a bit easier to imagine.”

“Don’t get distracted by the glitz and trends that change quicker than seasons. Keep your eye on the prize and get seriously ambitious. The one who will take your dreams seriously is you. You don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you want that dream life. You need only to keep showing up for it.”

“Don’t just dream big, plan big, to be exact. Invest consistently. It’s easier to achieve your dreams if you don’t worry too much about money. Always have a safety net, okay?”

“Don’t feel bad about your hoarding tendencies. You didn’t have much of a security or healthy foundation growing up. Don’t worry too much, okay? The more you show up for your dreams, do more you can actualize a reality of safety, security, and stability.”

“Don’t take too many financial risks. Get strategic and decisive about your money moves. Know when to invest and when something has too many cons rather than pros. You don’t need to feel insecure about what you don’t have right now. In our lives in the future, we’ll be more at ease and stress-free. We’ll actually be able to relax, okay?”

“Stay optimistic but not toxic positivity, that rule goes towards you too. It’s okay to be hopeful, but don’t force others to see what you see as an opportunity. Only open up your dreams with like-minded individuals.”

“We will be free one day. We will have more opportunities for a better life. So don’t lose hope. It’s just one of many waves of the highs and lows of life. Learn to be the surfer of your life.”

This is all I can read for you.

Do let me know how this resonates with you.

(This reading is for entertainment purposes only)

[danpuff-ao3]

HP Astro #15: Charlie Weasley

Who doesn't love our resident dragon-tamer? This love was, after all, written in the stars.

These ones:

Isn't he sexy?

What we know is this: his birthday is December 12, 1972. Time unknown. Place, guessable.

That gives us a Sagittarius Sun in the 1st house. More interestingly, there are only 3 degrees separating the sun and his ascendant, which makes them conjunct.

So, what does this tell us?

The sun is the core, the self. The ascendant is how we react, and how we are seen. Charlie has a strong sense of self. He is confident, comfortable in his own skin. What you see is what you get with Charlie; he's not hiding anything.

Sagittarius is fun and adventure; easy-going and open-minded; wisdom and optimism. Charlie enjoys life; has a true zest for life. And he learns wherever he goes. He learns by doing, by experiencing the world around him. He is fueled by joy and freedom, and it bleeds into everything he does.

Let's pause here a moment to look at his moon: Pisces, in the 2nd house. The moon is our subconscious, our emotions. Charlie's heart is dreamy and whimsical in Pisces, but the second house means his emotional needs are tied to material security. A need to be grounded, even if his head is in the clouds.

Pisces is perceptive, compassionate; he cares about others, and can read them well. He has a gentle, generous soul.

So let's put the pieces together: his adventurous spirit and his whimsical heart; open-minded and compassionate; wisdom and creativity; a love of life, and a love of others; the need to be free and explore, but be able to return to hearth and home.

Of course Charlie went out to live with dragons!

In Romania, he can be around others -- other people, other beings, other creatures -- and learn from, and about them. He is surrounded by new ideas, new ways of seeing the world. He has a lot of energy, and likes to work with his hands; the physical work is good for him! No day is the same, or will ever be boring. There is no routine, really, when you're living such a dangerous life. But there is comradery among the dragon tamers, and he has a home to return to every night. There is joy and peace in the life he has built there.

Best of all, it's the destiny he made for himself.

Now let's turn our eye to the inner planets: Mercury, Venus, and Mars are all in Scorpio, all in the eleventh house, and all clustered together; Mercury conjunct Venus, and Venus conjunct Mars. The realms of the mind, the heart, and action all touched by the depth and darkness of Scorpio. All in the House of Friendship (community, causes, higher purpose; that inextricable link to others and the world at large.)

Charlie values the truth, but he isn't very forthcoming. He is quiet; he's busy looking and listening. Scorpio is patient in the way it untangles secrets and lies, digging for the heart of things. Charlie isn't dishonest, but he is careful and thoughtful in his interactions. He works on instinct and intuition; he trusts his gut and follows its lead.

Charlie is attracted to intimacy and passion. Honesty, remember? Shamelessness, full openness; someone he can know entirely, who can know him in turn. He's looking for his person, someone to tie himself to and lose himself in. He isn't afraid of commitment, he craves it.

When it comes to acting, he is fearless. He is up for the challenge, eager to push his own boundaries and learn new things about himself. Eager to learn and grow. But Mars here is strategic, and skeptical; thought before action. A cool exterior that hides a well of willpower and focus. Instinct, remember? That's what he follows. A knowledge that is deep in his gut.

Charlie is what meets the eye. He's hands-on, he's charming, he's always up for a good time. He's brave, and cool. But he's also more than meets the eye. Hidden mysteries; a darkness lurking beneath a sunny disposition.

He knows the world isn't all rainbows and butterflies; and Charlie wants to taste it all. The good and the bad. He wants to bask in the warmth, and take a dive into the abyss. He sees all of the harshness and ugliness in the world, and he wants to know more about it. He plays it smart, and safe, while still managing to see what is good, and what is worthy, in everyone and everything.

One last thing: that Sagittarius Rising. Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, which makes Jupiter the Chart Ruler; which gives Jupiter more importance in his chart than it might in the average person's. And where is Charlie's Jupter?

Capricorn. An Earth sign. (Remember his need to be grounded?) In the Planet of Luck and Expansion, Capricorn tells us of his integrity, his ethics, and a sense of responsibility. Charlie is persistent; he knows what he needs to do to achieve his goals, and he does them. But he also adheres to a moral code, and follows the rules to the letter as he climbs his way to the top.

Jupiter is also in the first house; the House of the Self. Charlie is generous, and selfless; kind and optimistic; his sense of self flavored by Jupiter's gifts of fortune and growth. It is part of his charm, to be so touched by Jupiter!

So if you've ever wondered why you're a bit in love with Charlie, this might be why. He's the boy you can bring home to mama, and the man who can show you a world you've never known.

[divinefeminine-card]

Hello! How are you? I'm not sure how you do this but do I just write my initials and signs?

Then, AV and cancer moon, leo sun. I'm not sure about Leo one but yeah!

I know readings are closed so, please do tell me whatever you get about me.

Take care! 💙

Heyyy

I am haha, more like I was really tired (mentally) but today school was closed so, yesterday I chilled the whole day away after school! And today, I am thinking about doing readings!

Here is your reading! Let me know what you think 🥰

Cards: The Star, The Hanged Man, Queen of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, 7 of Pentacles, The Chariot, 5 of Pentacles.

This month of April, you might feel much more in control of your circumstances than before. You might be able to change your schedules in accordance with your other priorities. You will feel like your path is clear now and in front of you. You might reflect on your life and will take a pause with a lot of things as well, for yourself. It is good.

On the outside, you will appear determined and ready to get what you want. A go-getter. People will find you specifically charming and pretty this month (not saying you are not the other month, but specifically this month). Your emotions will be really stable and in alignment with your dreams this month.

You will be accepting all your situations and working towards it.

You might learn to rely on praying and hoping as well. Praying to whichever deity you believe in or simply energies. You might as well get near spiritually this month. You will realise how deserving you are. How you can and should get many more things. You will realise you are heading in the right direction.

On the obstacles side, you might feel like your roots are not growing. Like, whatever the outward result maybe, the root of the work is stagnant and all tied, like a mess. Even if you are continuously giving the true results (probably means, long term results) are not showing up as much as you expected. Not equal give and take.

You will be at the top of your game this month,. specifically in career/work. You will be completion all your work on time with dilligence. And the results will be reaped as well. Something new will start this month definitely.

Overall, you will be getting through this month with speed and determination to succeed, it will work! You will be strategic as well. Playing the good and bad cards beautifully. There may be times when despite the answer being in front of you, you might not get to it soon, and decide to rest for a while. It is the for the best, you require energy to work ahead!

Another recurring message throughout the reading is starting of something new, can be anything, new project, relation, bond, habit, perspective, but will deeply impact you!

Have a nice day! Don't forget to leave feedback (even after the month 😉)

[strategicpause]

The Only 2x2 You Need?

In my last leadership blog post (“5 Things Widening the Leadership Gap”), I shared my concern about the widening leadership gap and five of the root causes. I also shared that the first step in bridging the gap is self-leadership.

Self-leadership

Before you can strive to lead others, you have to be able to lead yourself. What does this mean? Self-leadership is:

Being in control of yourself. It is basing your decisions on reason versus emotion. Remember that composure, controlling one’s emotions, is foundational to leadership. This is situation management.

Understanding your strengths and weaknesses. By knowing them you can more explicitly leverage your strengths and/or avoid or remediate your weaknesses. This is empowerment.

Have and pursue objectives. It is setting a destination and using situation management and empowerment to make progress.

If you read my first leadership book (Strategic Pause: Stop. Think. Lead.), this is familiar. Let’s go deeper.

Leadership Evolution and Beyond

If you practice self-leadership, you will evolve. You will be more productive. You will be more effective and efficient. Further, self-leadership applies if you are pursuing traditional leadership of teams or striving to grow as an individual…a member of a team. Going even deeper, self-leadership’s context goes beyond your career. Self-leadership helps you achieve non-work goals. It helps you grow personally not just professionally.

How do you assess the evolution of your self-leadership? I have been using a new 2x2 for this purpose. It has resonated every time I have presented it, so I wanted to share it more broadly.

Independent & Internalized

“Self-leadership Evolution” does not feel quite right as a name, so I have been calling the 2x2 by the desired stage of evolution, “Independent & Internalized”.

The x-axis is your give-and-take balance with the world. The low end is “dependent”. This means that you take more than you give. The high end is “independent”. This means you give more than you take. I am not suggesting that the goal is to live “off the grid”. I am asking you to sum up your interactions with other people and the world. How are you doing? There will be situations where you are taking more than you give and other situations where you give more than you take. The goal should be to live in the latter versus the former.

The y-axis is whether you are living by your code or someone else’s. The low end is “externalized”. This means that you govern your behavior by factors outside of yourself. You are delegating your well-being to others. You are giving them control. The high end is “internalized”. This means you are governing your behavior based on your personal leadership model. You are living by your life code. There are lots of ways to express this: personal leadership model, life code, values and beliefs, credo, personal motto, your way, …

Here is the “Independent & Internalized” 2x2:

Let’s walk through the quadrants.

Dependent & Externalized = Unevolved: The lower left quadrant. This means you do not support yourself and are governing your behavior by whatever situation you are presented with. I am calling this “Unevolved” but it can also be called “Child”. If you are here, you have effectively not started your self-leadership evolution.

Independent & Internalized = Self-actualized: The upper right quadrant. This means you give more than you take and you live by your articulated values and beliefs. This could also be called “Evolved”, but we need to remember that evolution is a process not a destination. “Self-actualized” is also at the top of the Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs”. Everyone should strive to get to and spend most of their time in this quadrant. If you are here, you are in control of your life and making clear progress.

Independent & Externalized = Pinball: The lower right quadrant. This means you support yourself, but you are trying to live via others’ direction. You strive to reduce unnecessary external needs but, it often feels like it takes more work than it should. You have to assess every new situation to determine what you think and what you should do. Thus, you bounce from situation to situation hoping you end up in a good place. That’s why I call this quadrant “Pinball”. If you allow broad causes or headlines to negatively impact your day, you are here. Personally, I think 50-66% of people are here.

Dependent & Internalized = Coattailer: The upper left quadrant. This means you take more than you give and you are doing it on purpose. That does not sound good. I often refer to this quadrant as “Parasite”. If you are here, you might just be trying to survive a difficult situation. If you stay here, there are gaps or errors in your moral code. You are someone who is focused on “getting theirs” and are not concerned with the impact on others. If you think you might be here, get out of here as soon as you can. This reputation is difficult to overcome once established.

Graph You

Objectively, where are you on the 2x2? Graph it. Graph you. Do you strive to carry your own weight? Do you govern your behavior by articulated rules you believe in? The Yes/No answer to those two questions determine where you sit.

Like many things, it is more of a spectrum than binary. Grade yourself on a 5-point or 10-point scale.

How independent are you? 0 = Not at all. 10 = You never rely on others.

How internalized are you? 0 = You let the situations you are faced with determine your day. 10 = You have a personal leadership model that is your guardrails.

It sure seems like a 5 or 10 question survey would be helpful here. Hmm.

Plot You

Similar to graphing yourself on a range, where you sit is also situational. When you are being trained to take on a new task, you are dependent. But, if you are always trying to get to the upper right quadrant (Independent & Internalized) you will be dependent for the minimum amount of time necessary. If you are doing the training, you are already in the upper right quadrant.

Graph you over time. Plot it. Plot you. Where are you generally? Where are you trending?

Avoid Extremes

The goal is not to be generally be a 10 for independence and a 10 for internalized. Like many things, the extremes can quickly have a negative impact. If you are a 10 for independence, then you are likely never asking for help. You could probably move more quickly with some help from an expert to start. If you are a 10 for internalized, you could be insular. You are likely not open to information (feedback) that would help you evolve your personal leadership model. I think the goal should be to be 7-8 on each dimension.

Thank you for reading my leadership blog post. I hope you found it interesting and thought provoking.

--

Check out “Strategic Pause��� on Amazon. Follow me on Twitter (@DonThinks).

© 2024 Don Graumann. All Rights Reserved. Other than personal sharing, please do not redistribute without permission.

[maniculum]

I say this as an enjoyer of video essays: there is an important distinction between them and traditional essays that has nothing to do with video essays being a less prestigious format or academic papers being better written. It’s this:

Video content is harder to fact-check than text content.

First, in text essays, there already exists a system by which you are expected to cite your sources. Pick a citation format, put in your footnotes or parentheticals where necessary, boom. Done. And people will notice if they’re not there because it’s an expected part of the essay.

You can do that in a video essay, and many creators do. (Last Week Tonight basically has its own visual citation format, for instance — I know that’s a TV show and not a Youtube channel, but their “main segment” each week is functionally a short video essay.) There’s nothing stopping you from putting your sources up on the screen as you go — but there’s less pressure to do so. Since there’s no requirement for citation, and no standard for what that looks like, it’s easier for a video creator to fudge that sort of thing, and less likely that their audience will notice.

Second, there’s more going on in a video than there is in text. Video creators have more options for slipping in implications, interpretations, or just distractions because they have access to visual and audio effects that text doesn’t. They can communicate how they think you should feel about something through facial expressions and gestures without having to fully articulate why they think you should feel that way. They can take a quotation from a source they’re arguing against and read it in a silly voice so you don’t take it seriously. They can put little drawings up on the screen and play sound effects, and generally communicate a lot through implication.

An example of the “distraction” thing (and there are probably better ones, but i’m writing off the cuff here) — a few years ago, my cousin sent me a video she’d seen by a right-wing creator. In that video, they interviewed a number of people, and at one point they asked someone a question & got an answer they didn’t like. Rather than try and refute it or explain why they disagreed, they just played the Jeopardy theme while the person was talking and followed it with an error buzzer. In a traditional essay, you can’t just say “Wrong!” and then move on to your next point — I mean, technically you’re able to I suppose, your word processor isn’t going to punish you with an electric shock or anything if you do, but your readers will recognize that there’s supposed to be more there. And you definitely can’t present a quotation you disagree with and drown it out with music so it’s harder for your reader to follow what’s being said. Most video essayists don’t stoop to such things, I think, but the option is there in a way that it isn’t for text.

Third, if you want to try and fact-check a video, the actual process itself is noticeably more difficult than doing the same to text. Think of how frustrating it is when you’re Googling something and all the top results are videos. Why is that something people object to? It’s because watching a video takes longer than reading the same information in text form and it’s harder to quickly find the material you want, right? That same quality makes it harder to fact-check.

You want to fact-check a traditional essay? No problem. It’s a static format, all laid out in black and white on the page in front of you. You can read as quickly or slowly as you want, skipping backwards or forwards to certain points is trivially easy, and you can even print it out and highlight / annotate things. Video essay? You’re looking at hours upon hours of strategic pausing and rewinding if you want to do a quality job. Text is easy to search inside if you’re looking for a specific thing; video only has that function if the creator has included a full transcript with time stamps.

Now, again, I like video essays. They’re basically the only thing I watch on Youtube. And plenty of video essayists do cite their sources, and don’t try to use the medium to cheat on aspects of their argument, and even release full transcripts so you have it available in text form for ease of fact-checking.

But there also is a reason that a lot of bad-faith actors and propagandists gravitate towards video over text when they put out their material. The medium is far easier to abuse without your audience noticing. And I do think we have to be aware of that. The above poster is correct in that video essays are not a necessarily inferior medium. If an essayist is acting in good faith, their material is going to be just as valid in video l as it is in text, and their choice of format in no way reflects upon the content of the essay. But we have to be careful and not let ourselves assume that any preference for written essays over video essays is just snobbery. The video format, by its nature, has more space for bad actors and it’s important to remember that.

shall I have a hot take too? don't mind if I do

[madraleen]

Attack on Titan - Hajime Isayama Vol.30-31: An Emotional-Whiplash Commentary.

-for the record. usually when i read manga, i'm like, 'aww, i want to see how it ends, but also i don't, because characters might die and then it'll be over, and then i'll miss it UwU." with this one, i'm like, "PLEASE, PLEASE JUST GIVE ME ANSWERS AND LET IT END, I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" XD

-listen, i'm calling eren devil child for distancing reasons, for coping, don't show him all long-haired and beautifully drawn and emotional, i get soft

-LISTEN TO ARMIN, HE SPEAKS! FINALLY HE SPEAKS! HE STRATEGIZES!

-...i don't like seeing eren frightened. this devil child... i don't. i don't.

-JUSTICE FOR FALCO DAMMIT

-noooo :(((( they turned into titans

-MIKASA AND ARMIN ARE STILL SAVING YOUR ASS, YOU DEMON CHILD YOU!

-for real, it was to save falco? i thought galliard just happened to be there, wrong place wrong time

-i don't like seeing eren frightened, i don't, i don't

-FUCK YOU, EREN, JEAN AND CONNIE ARE SAVING YOU, EREN! ARE YOU SEEING THIS, EREN

-i know eren can't die like that, but heh. gabi.

-I DIDN'T NEED EREN'S CUT-OFF HEAD ON A SPREAD PANEL! CONTRARY TO APPEARANCES I DON'T ACTUALLY HATE HIM!

-eren. please. i don't know what i'm pleading for. just please.

-I CAN BREATHE! I CAN BREATHE AGAIN! EREN DOES NOT AGREE WITH EUTHANIZATION! NOW DO YOU HAVE A PLAN? or must i renounce you again

-FUCK YOU ZEKE, GRISHA LEARNED FROM HIS MISTAKES AND LOVED US!

-oooh okay. so owl DID say mikasa and armin, but didn't know what that meant.

-generally i don't vibe with timey-wimey stuff, but i'll go along with it, that's the least of my issues rn

-yeah, how much of the future do they know? and can they see THEIR memories? i mean. grisha saw eren's future. can eren see HIS future via grisha? 

-okay wait so, eren was able to influence grisha in the past because zeke brought eren into grisha's memories in the future? :O

-oh okay so eren did see his future through grisha

-devil child what do you mean by putting an end to this world, are we going to be okay

-mikasa's blushing her heart out at eren's 'what am i to you?' do you really need an answer, eren

-that spiky skeleton thing isn't devil child, right...? oh. it is. oh. oh boy. i regret not reading any spoilers. i regret everything. i suffer.

-armin once again being relatable, 'eren's on our side, he must be.'

-oh. and we're back to world destruction. hello devil child, i hoped you were gone, and yet. how do we stop eren from killing the entire world but paradis. how. h... DEVIL CHILD ARGH

-one brother was like, ‘i'll kill all of us’, the other brother is like ‘i'll kill everyone but us on this specific island.’

-but what was the point of seeing those refugees that made you cry, then?! what about the innocents, why destroy them? can't we talk

-okay, i'll give you that, it's amazing how at moments you side with... everyone, basically. like, now reiner is like 'eren is going to destroy the world' and it's like YES MAN DO SOMETHING

-i think eren sacrificed *his* humanity along with all of humanity to protect you all, jean

-bb armin, who cares if it provokes any conflict with any titan, eren controls the titans. is he not all-knowing though, why are his subjects attacking us

-yaaay, go gabi go! save kaya! save in general! just save!

-it's so funny that we've hit pause on the massacre and we're just focusing on interpersonal stories. like yes the world's being destroyed, but carry on

-i have the same question, gabi, can't eren turn titans into humans and vice versa

-well... eren yeager didn't NOT kill his own people...

-yes mikasa lil bb, think for yourself and shine, yeah? <3 but little bitch armin, you didn't have to phrase it like that

-oh. if even armin calls eren a lost cause...

-demon child trusted floch with the plan?! and not us?!

-Levi levi levi <3. well if he didn't die NOW, i doubt anything else will kill him, it'll be pointless for him to go out wounded and not in a fight... right?

-yeah, by the way, devil child, i don't think armin's ever been controlled by bertolt, i think he's been haunted by erwin's ghost all along

-if armin feeds himself to connie's mum and dies here, i'll kick a bitch

-GOOD BOY CONNIE, DAMN YOU ARMIN SCARING ME LIKE THAT

-annie with her face stuffed with food is so cuuuute

-HEHE NICE, HANGE, COMING IN WITH THE PLANS, HANGE NEVER DISAPPOINTS

-i mean, listen. the world's gone to shit, devil child is slaughtering everyone, and i must say i enjoy seeing the new allied teams of eldians, marleyans, volunteers, whatevers. like, this is BIGGER. this is bigger than all else, this is above nations.

-reiner must feel like he woke up to one of his nightmares

-yes, connie, save the world babies, go out there and be safe <3

-but okay, wait. if, as jean says, eren is doing all of that for them (which i don't doubt), WHY did he push them away? not entrusting them with the plan i can understand, but why was he actively a jerk?!

-holy shit attack on school castes with eren is such a jarring contrast that it gives me whiplash. but okay yes, with these new alliances and with eren's notable absence that fortunately keeps my rage and sadness levels in check, i'm feeling hopeful again

[the-sidekick-club]

Case of the pockets

Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Part  5 : Epilogue

Written by: @tratieisdabest ★ @heroes-villains-side-blog​​ ★ @just-a-space-rabbit​​    

TW:Restraints, Prison mention

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

They switched places, with Villain Sidekick taking centre stage. 

“Ahem. As you can see,” they indicated the relevant area on their board, “ever since pockets on heroes’ super suits have been introduced, replacing the old suits and the court-mandated handbags, the crime rate has dropped from 43% to 30%. More criminals are being caught, and they’re being caught faster and easier, almost 46 minutes faster on average! Not to mention that less gadgets are being forgotten on crime scenes, only 17 per 100 from 36 per 100, which means less gadgets for villains and civilians to get their hands on.

"The lack of pockets in the past really slowed heroes down," they said while walking across the room like a professor giving a lecture, "They had no gadgets nor weapons on their person, having to resort to agency-mandated handbags which had their own set of problems."

"Your stats are impressive and all," Hero Sidekick tried to interject, "but this is about feelings not—"

"Shush," Villain Sidekick scolded, then continued. “As I was saying, and as my colleagues so annoyingly demonstrated, agency-mandated handbags were poorly designed, first of all, having no compartments whatsoever, just one big black hole to put all your stuff in.

"This was cumbersome; heroes are busy professionals. Not only did they use their handbags for weapons and gadgets, but also for paperwork, investigative instruments, clues, their ID, wallet, what have you.

"Searching through those awful contraptions lost heroes a lot of valuable time, giving villains the chance to escape, strategize, or jump heroes while they’re distracted.

"Now, it is obvious that villains had everything to gain from the old suits and handbags, and heroes were at a disadvantage. That is why, when Hero got their new suit, Villain seemed upset and distracted.

"Therefore!" They stopped and turned to the audience, a big smile on their face, "I conclude, without a shadow of doubt, that Villain orchestrated the whole thing – they infiltrated the hero agency and designed those horrid suits and handbags so that they could have the advantage over you dumb heroes!” Villain Sidekick declared proudly then crossed their arms expecting a round of applause.

Unfortunately, they didn’t even get a chance to look at everyone’s reactions before Supervillain yelled out.

"They didn't do it! I did!”

Everyone turned to the master criminal, the same question on their lips, “What?” 

Supervillain rose from their seat, “Villain can barely talk to their crush, do you think they would be able to design a whole attractive outfit just for them?” 

Villain was now blushing again, much more furiously than before, but no one, not even Villain Sidekick, could come to Villain's defence; everyone was stunned silent.

"It was me, little sidekick club,” they continued, “I did the whole thing! I infiltrated the agency, designed most of the costumes myself, I even added those ridiculous impractical handbags to top it all off!"

Throughout all of this, Villain Sidekick just stood there, mouth open, until both Henchman and Hero Sidekick yelled, "Wait, there really was a pocket conspiracy!?" They paused, processing the new information, then Hero Sidekick continued, "I… I guess it makes sense, but I TOLD YOU Villain had a crush on Hero! Look, even Supervillain agrees!" They whipped around to look at Villain Sidekick smugly, clearly happier about having more support for their case, than about having a crime boss confess to a large-scale crime in front of so many witnesses.

"Well… alrighty," Hero cleared their throat. "I've heard enough. Hero Sidekick, could you—” Hero Sidekick didn't even let Hero finish, springing up to untie them, while Villain Sidekick did the same for Villain. 

All eyes landed on Supervillain. The real bad-guy was right there, and they had wronged all of them… well except for Henchman, who had once again seemed to disappear into the background. Everyone else started crowding in on Supervillain, cornering them. 

Surprisingly, one could say suspiciously, they let themselves be arrested without complaint.

As they were being cuffed by Hero, Villain Sidekick suddenly felt a hard pat on their shoulder. "You know, I’m gonna miss your villainous antics, I mean, since you’re basically a hero now," Henchman grinned at Villain Sidekick’s distressed face.

“Nooooo!” Villain Sidekick buried their face in their hands, garnering another pat from Henchman. 

"Now, now, I’m sure you’ll make a great hero." Henchman said, then turned to Hero, "Hey, Hero! Bet you my pockets are better than yours!"

Hero unceremoniously shoved Supervillain over to Hero Sidekick, "You’re on!"

Hero Sidekick stood there awkwardly between Supervillain and Villain, glancing back and forth at the two, probably making emergency plans in case the two teamed up.

"So, Villain. how’d you like my plan?" Supervillain asked, quite pleased with themselves and not at all fazed with the fact that they were currently handcuffed and would be soon off to prison. 

Villain just sighed, "Really, Supervillain? Really?"

"Yup!" Supervillain chuckled deviously.

Seeing how distracted the two villains were by their conversation, Hero Sidekick took the opportunity to make sure Supervillain’s cuffs were secure enough. 

After they were sure the cuffs were secure, they began to relax; while Supervillain had escaped many a containment cell, they had never defeated the hero agency’s tried-and-true power repressing cuffs. 

This was quite confusing for the agency, seeing as how each cell Supervillain had been placed in had increasingly powerful walls, with new types of metals having been invented just for them, but each of which still failed. The master criminal always escaped their prison without leaving any witnesses or evidence that may give the heroes a clue of their power, instead, it looked like they just walked out the door.

Regardless, now Hero Sidekick only had to worry about one villain, who seemed far more focused on Supervillain than the sidekick holding onto them.  

"And," Supervillain continued in a whisper, leaning in towards Villain, "I made sure to make your crush's outfit extra distracting, showing off those gorgeous muscles you love so much."

Villain’s blush was at maximum capacity now, and if it could grown any redder, it would have. They turned away from Supervillain, trying to avoid embarrassment, but their eyes accidentally fell on the same hero they were trying not to think about. 

Much to Supervillain’s delight, Villain froze. Their eyes were fixed on Hero but not their face, no no no, instead, it was Hero’s arms that made Villain’s brain buffer. It seemed that in order to give Henchman a full walkthrough of all of their pockets and compartments, Hero had folded up their sleeves, giving Villain passers-by a full view of the very same muscles that Villain had pretended not to miss. Those forearms… wow. It took all of Villain's willpower not to swoon.

But of course, Hero remained oblivious, far too busy showing Henchman their pockets and all the things they could carry in them.

[sherryzade]

if i could pitch in my two cents as someone who's not able to vote but who's from the global south (syria gang gang 🇸🇾) and so tragically has a stake in american politics:

local elections are absolutely the place where your voice will matter most and have the greatest ripple effect, but on the matter of large elections like the presidential one, there ARE good options and i think there 100% is merit in voting third party, even if the benefits of that won't come quickly.

gonna super quick get on my soapbox and let ppl know that claudia de la cruz and karina garcia from the party of socialism and liberation are running for president and VP, and they rock, and they're going so hard on standing up for palestinians right now. they're making a HUGE impact on the political left (not just milk toast liberals, but genuine "fuck the capitalist system" leftists).

and like here's the thing... i actually don't think they'd win in 2024. the system is just horrifically rigged, and i think that splitting the progressive vote between democrat and third party would definitely result in a republican victory. the simple fact is that center-left progressives are entirely divorced from leftists, but center-right conservatives are willing to ally with the alt-right trumpers. i'm not gonna sit here and lie and pretend that it'll all be hunky-dory in 2024. in fact, the reason i've been so on the fence about this matter for so long is because it took me a long time to understand why some leftists are advocating for a strategy like splitting the vote which would so massively benefit republicans.

the person that really made things click for me was imani barbarin (crutches & spice on tiktok), when she pointed out a very consistent pattern within the democratic party: they don't fucking do shit without insane pressure. like real, actual, "i'm gonna lose my job" pressure. biden didn't even consider a 4 day humanitarian pause until his polling numbers plummeted lower than ever before. but he did, eventually, give in a little. that's very much the democrat's playbook, and you can see it time and time again.

yes, calling and emailing your reps can have an impact, but they know you don't think you have any other options. they know they have you trapped between a rock and a hard place, and they know the intensity of the partisanship in this country will force you into complacency. they're banking on it. the point is to make it clear that you're willing to let them lose their careers and income if they keep doing this. and yes, that's probably going to mean letting them lose and letting republicans win.

i'm not so idealistic that i think a socialist woc is gonna be the next president, but here's what i do think will happen: record high numbers of people will vote third party, and the democratic party will face massive losses including the presidential seat. you gotta strike fear into them, because no amount of appealing to their morals will ever be enough to bring change.

"but what about trump/project 2025!!" biden never promised you he'll stop that in any way shape or form. the sad and very radicalizing reality is that all of those things would happen anyway even under a democrat president. cop city is being built now. children are being deported now. people are starving now. war is happening now. the IRS is being defunded now. the electoral college exists now. abortion rights are being overturned now. climate change is happening now. education is collapsing now (and it has been for decades).

i'm not saying you should give republicans any grace and im not saying republicans are our saviors or anything. sometimes the most strategic thing is to let the enemy take the W. if people en mass just refuse to vote democrat, it'll actually be a wake up call for the ghouls in congress that they can't keep doing this shit. you gotta make em hurt, man. and then maybe after they realize the game is up and they're forever screwed, y'all can actually have a president like claudia de la cruz.

EDIT: for the people refusing to vote democrat or republican, i do still encourage you to vote 3rd party even if you know it won't really count. it still sends a message. you aren't some shmuck who doesn't vote or care about politics, you're very intentionally sending a message of "you all fucking suck." and sending that message with a single vote will mean more than a thousand emails or calls saying the same thing but then still voting blue.

I don’t want to misunderstand and make things worse for people. When you (and others) say don’t vote, do you mean don’t vote for biden or don’t vote at all?

Hey thanks for sending this in. No worries I understand the confusion.

I said in the tags in the previous post that I think people should vote for the reps in that list because they can be bullied into doing things based on the traditional means of opinion sharing (calling, writing letters, etc) and plus it's a nice little "we meant it when we said we would not be voting for you when we called" to the other dems. Basicially, using your vote strategically as a threat and sending a message instead of just blindly voting blue because red is "worse" and not because you actually like any of Democrats policies.

When I personally say I'm not going to vote, I am still voting in local elections and school boards and things like that. I definitely think you should always vote on the school board, especially, if nothing else. But I don't think I will be voting for major politicians like presidency — at least next election. I don't live in any of the districts of the ceasefire reps either.

Not voting and seeing people not voting would make people change their strategies. They know they can't rely on votes naturally anymore — they actually have to earn them based on material change. That's my personal intention, at least, with not voting. That and... like hell am I going to vote for the party and people that called for the blood of Palestinians. I do genuinely think they're bad people that no one should ever support under any circumstances, and I'll stick by that.

People mention voting for third party and I've recieved asks about it but.... I'm not sure. I think being president of the most powerful country in the world changes you fundamentally. We (palestinians) were hopeful for Obama when he went into office, and he did nothing, largely abandoning us, and he was taught by Edward Said himself. He was friends with Khalidi. He knew what was happening and still he made the decisions that he did.

Now I don't think you should just blindly follow whatever anyone says on the matter. I'm only giving you my opinion on this based on personal experience and past circumstances. You should genuinely, honestly, think about how your vote impacts others, especially around the world. Voting "blue" just because it might be easier for you here, then largely ignoring the entire world that's affected by the US, is, in my opinion, a pretty selfish decision. Besides, as someone who is disabled, Biden has already abandoned a large swath of people and basically left them to die with how he's dealt with covid. The migrant concentration camps are still there. He can't do anything about the Supreme Court and their messed up decisions. He won't do anything meaningful to protect any type of person in the states either, so what are we voting for exactly?

Voting is not a chore you have to do to keep your rights. Voting is a participation in your political system depending on the circumstances surrounding the things you care about. When that political system largely ignores you, I don't see a purpose in participating and showing support — because that's what Voting is, support — to people you fundamentally disagree with and those that don't really care about you.

[marzannazillah]

A/N: Next chapter of Warmth is here. I hope you all enjoy it.

Warmth: Chapter 4

A benefit of being alone is you have little to distract you from working through your problems. Instead of being able to ignore my bond and deluding myself with arbitrary entertainment, I'm forced to think about and resolve any issues I have with it. I'm able to sort through my emotions and come up with a plan. Be that plan is to ignore everything about it after this all ends, which doesn't feel like a long-term plan, I mean at least we are not in the same court, and Autumn has little interaction with Winter, so I won't be forced into contact with him. The problem is the bond could at any moment snap into place for him, be that it sure has taken its sweet ass time since it snapped for me. But when he finds out what will the fallout be, or worse what if Beron finds out? A shiver runs through my body at that thought, I don't even want to know what that depraved male would do to me. At least he wouldn't be able to kill me, not permanently. I would just trade one prison for another if he found out about his eldest son's bond with me.

Another unpredictable factor of this bond is Eris himself, while I sure as fuck haven't been able to decipher my feelings in these 20 years since our bond snapped, especially after what happened 5 years ago. But what if he can? What if he hates me or worse wants me? Yes, I said worse, because somehow him hating me is easier to understand than him loving me. Not that I'm not lovable because I sure as fuck am a good mate and female, he's lucky fate tied him to me. But are we compatible? Fate seems to think so but at the surface level, we seem quite unsuitable for each other. I'm literally the ice to his fire, I feel like that doesn't bode well for our unity overall. Not to mention our families, Beron seems like he would be an awful father-in-law, and I doubt he'd like our blood and magic mixing for an heir. Probably would assume I’d weaken the lineage, the bastard. Kallias would be appalled but would be more welcome to the idea, he would be hesitant I'm sure. His little sister is the mate to an heir of the vicious Autumn court, that would be a thought he’d have to mull over. But I’m getting ahead of myself, none of this will happen as long as his side of the bond never surfaces and I keep my knowledge of it a secret. There is no need to speak of it, certainly not with my brother, he’ll worry over something he can’t control or change. And as much as I love my brother, he has never been able to hold his tongue or be tactful when it's needed. My bond with Eris is something that needs to be dealt with strategically. There is someone I would like to talk with, Jarren, he’s always helped me talk things out. I wouldn't have to worry about him using the knowledge against me or to his advantage. He would just be there and I wouldn't have to hide anything, because he would never judge me.

_________________________________________

She came a couple of nights ago, the human girl. Since then Amarantha has been leaving me be, she's found a new source of entertainment. She is not handling this time well, I can hear her muffled sobs from my cell, if we stand a chance she's gonna need some help. I scoot over to the edge of my cell, toward the cell door. Clearing my throat, I say,

“My name is Marzanna, you are the human girl, yes?”

Her sobs stop, it is silent for a while before she speaks,

“Yes.” Her voice is small and soft, likely for fear she is speaking to a spy of Amarantha’s.

“You can't let her win, if you let her break you she wins,” I pause licking my lips to wet them before continuing, “Do you have people you love?”

It's another moment before she answers,

“Yes.”

“Think of them when it gets hard, it will make things easier.”

“How do you know?”

I laughed at that, she hadn't had the pleasure of seeing my nightly routine.

“I’ve been here for a long time. If I hadn't focused on those I love I would have been lost a long time ago. She would have won.”

It is a few minutes of silence before she speaks again,

“How long have you been here?”

“Too long, time is hard to keep track of down here, as I'm sure you have learned. I would guess I'm coming up on 30 years though.”

I hear her gasp, at that. I'm sure that seems an awfully long time to a human, but it's a mere fraction of a faes life span.

“As I said, love will get you through this, I can attest to that.”

“How can I trust that you're sane?”

That makes me smile, she is smart,

“I guess you will just have to trust you know what is the truth and what is a lie.”

_________________________________________

The loud creak of my cell door startles me awake, and my eyes shoot open and flick towards the cell door. I jerk up in surprise as I see Kallias walk through my door.

“Kallias, what are you doing? Amarantha will kill you.” I say.

Kallias smiles at me approaching me, he grabs my chained hands as he pulls the key from his pocket.

“She can't do anything, because she is dead. It's over, all over.”

My heart clenches, tears coming to my eyes as I feel the chains fall from my hands.

“It's over,” I whisper, my voice catching.

Kallias pulls me into his arms, I slowly wrap my arms around him, keeping my hands from touching him. His hand brushes my head as I sob into his shoulder. I can feel it now, like the noose around my power has been released. It flows through me unrestrained, I feel it's a familiar cooling brush against my soul. Mother, I missed its consistent presence in my life, I never realized how much I could miss it.

“We are going home, sister,” he says softly.

“Home,” I mumble.

We sat there for I don't know how long, holding me before he pulled away, taking my arm in his hand and helping me up. As we walk out of the cell, my brother holding me close, I think of our home and my heart clenches at seeing it after so long. As we reach the end of the corridor, Kallias looks at me

“Can you winnow or do you want me to?”

I shake my head, I wouldn't be able to make it in one go. He smiles at me before he winnows us home. I feel an unfamiliar rush like my feet are pulled out from under me, it makes my head spin, my body unused to being winnowed by others.

I smell it before I see it, that scent of sweet peppermint and evergreen of our home. I can't help the smile that graces my lips when I see our home. My eyes catch on a body that is a blur as it throws itself at my brother. My body tenses my hand reaching out before freezing as I hear them laugh. Viviane. My hand snaps back to my side as they glance at me. Viviane’s eyes catch on me, her smile turning to a frown as she gets a look at me. Sadness and worry painting her face.

“I'm fine, I'm sure I look worse than I am.” I say softly. I take a look at Kallias as his eyes stare at Viviane like she holds his whole world.

“I think I will give you two some time alone for a proper reunion. I'm desperate for some sleep in my own bed.”

Kallias’s eyes glimpse towards me as he says,

“Are you sure?”

“I'll be okay brother. You have waited long enough.” I smile at him softly.

I make my way away from them and head down the familiar corridor to my room. My legs burn a little as I reach my door. Exhaustion seeping into my bones from that little exertion. My hand reaches for the handle but hovers for a second before I grip the handle in my bare hand and turn it, the ice creeping over it before I release quickly letting the door open slowly. My eyes met the darkness inside, my stomach knotting, in fear or happiness I'm not sure. I take a deep breath before stepping inside letting the darkness swallow me whole.

Tags: @legionsofthehungry @momlo

[breakyeol]

touch it (sensual oils)

one shot

┗ pairing : baekhyun x reader

words: 4k

warnings: smut, sensual massage, byun-booty, hand job, light overstimulation 

a/n; because baekhyun deserves it

Baekhyun had a bad day.

That much was glaringly obvious from the very moment he stepped through the door, looking about ready to crawl beneath your bedsheets and never come out. He collapsed into your arms with a pathetic whine the moment you rose from where you were situated on the couch, the full weight of his body thrown against your chest. You grunted at the unexpected impact, quickly wrapping your arms around his slim waist when you felt his knees beginning to give out.

“Baek!” You yelped, struggling feebly to support the both of you. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m too tired to stand,” he cried out dramatically, voice muffled against your shoulder, “my body feels like it’s turning into mush.”

You clicked your tongue at his familiar dramatics, a fond smile flitting across your lips in spite of yourself. “Oh my poor baby~” you cooed playfully, petting the top of his head, “they worked you into the ground?”

A heavy pout tugged at the corners of his lips, big droopy eyes swinging up to meet yours as he bobbed his head. “I’m already sore. I’m not gonna be able to move tomorrow.” He complained noisily, hands curling into tight fists around the material of your sweatshirt.

This close, you could easily make out the lingering scent of sweat clinging to his skin, and you didn’t doubt for a second he worked until he was drenched in it. There was a flash, an image that passed before your eyes, of Baekhyun, sweat rolling down the smooth slope of his chin, dripping from the fringes of his bangs, glistening enticingly above his brow, his mouth pink and open, gasping. It vanished just as quickly as it had come, and your attention was drawn back to the whining mess of a man squirming against your chest.

“Go shower,” you suggested, not trusting your voice above a careful whisper, “then come to bed, okay?”

“I don’t want to. Just hold me.”

You snickered, combing your fingers through the short hairs on the back of his neck, feeling the way his body melted into the tender caress. “I will gladly hold you for the rest of the night… after you take a shower.”

He only offered an unintelligible grunt in response, showing no signs of detaching himself from your body, his hold around you tightening in a display of stubborn resistance. There was little doubt in your mind that he’d keep this up for as long as your patience allowed – which, given how soft you were for the man, was a fairly long time –, but you knew you’d both be better off once he felt clean and refreshed, cleansed of the day’s many hardships.

“You’ll feel a lot better afterwards.”

A groan this time.

“I’ll make you feel a lot better afterwards.”

At that reparation, his head snapped up, eyes wide and, despite the exhaustion, glinting with a hint of excitement. His spine straightened, grip around you loosening somewhat as strength seemed to return to his muscles. “Really?” He whispered, pink tongue slipping out from between petal lips. So easy. You could’ve scoffed, but thought better of yourself, settling for a suggestive cock of your head that could be interpreted in a number of ways.

“Go shower,” you hummed, pinching his chin between your thumb and index finger and guiding his face down towards yours, “then… we’ll see.”

He let out a huff of breath, eyes going hooded as they flickered down to trace the smug curve of lips. “You’re mean.”

You laughed lightly, planting a kiss that was far too short for Baekhyun’s liking to his pouted mouth before skillfully untangling yourself from his arms. “We’ll see just how mean I can be once you come to bed.” You called teasingly over your shoulder, grinning in wild amusement at the low curse that followed.

It wasn’t too long after you’d made your way into the bedroom that you heard the soft hiss of the shower. You waited until you heard the low groan that told you that your boyfriend had finally stepped beneath the hot spray to permeate through the separating wall before you jumped into action.

This wasn’t the first time Baekhyun had come home looking ready to collapse and you doubted it would be the last. There wasn’t much you could do about him having to go to work. No matter what you said or how many times you told him he should give himself a chance to rest and recover, he would always put his everything into his work, because that was just the kind of man he was. He was all passion and fire and unrelenting persistence even when he felt like he might die. It was a quality that sparked both admiration and fear inside of you.

There was a certain helplessness that came with being the person he came home to after a long day of work, body and mind teetering dangerously on the brink of exhaustion. There wasn’t much you could do to ease his stress, as he wasn’t the type to verbally unload or express his unease to its full extent. Sure, he was dramatic, but only in a playful sense. That was his way of downplaying and covering up his true feelings, to both you and himself.

But, there were still other ways you could help. And, with some brainstorming and a bit of research, you’d come up with the perfect plan to help ease some of Baekhyun’s tension. Though, you had to scramble a bit to set the scene, you knew it would be fully worth it to see the look on his face.

It was just as you’d lit the final candle, completing the final touches, that you heard the shower shut off. Perfect timing. You quickly situated yourself on the edge of the bed, the cool air caressing your scantily clad body, rousing goosebumps across your skin.

But, the chills tickling your spine were little more than a second thought as Baekhyun stepped into the room donning nothing more than a towel that hung dangerously low on his full hips. He paused just inside the doorway, his brows shooting upwards as he took in the state of your shared bedroom. Wide eyes danced over the flickering candles laid out strategically across the hardwood floor to encircle the bed, swept over the scattered rose petals, before finally landing on you.

You, wearing a deep crimson lingerie set, a sheer silk robe, and nothing more.

His bare chest, still glistening with water droplets, rose sharply as his breath hitched. A low curse tumbled from his lips, almost too faint to hear over the seductive instrumentals pulsing from the speakers.

A satisfied smirk broke across your face at his reaction, pleased with yourself for having successfully caught him off guard.

“Surprise,” you sang, voice low and silken.

For a moment, he didn’t move, his own amazement rooting him in place as he visually inhaled the sight of you. Your skin was hot beneath the intensity of his gaze, blazing as it trailed torturously slow up the length of your body, not daring to miss a single detail.

A faint buzz of nerves fizzled in your gut.

You’d never done anything like this before. Presented yourself in such a way to him, that is. All wrapped up in silk and lace of only the most sensual nature, bathed in smooth orange candlelight that tickled your ankles and crept up the smooth length of your lower legs. This was something new for the both of you, something unexplored. But it also wasn’t everything you had in store.

When he moved, it was with the utmost cautiousness, as if stepping too quickly or too harshly might disturb the beautiful illusion spread before him. But still, he moved, unable to resist the temptation.

Without speaking, his hands found your face, curving around the shape of your jaw and winding around the back of your neck. They were cold against your skin, and you couldn’t suppress the shiver that rippled down your spine as he leaned over you. You let out a soft hum at his touch, head rolling back under his gentle coaxing.

Not a beat passed before his mouth found yours, eager and impatient. You didn’t hesitate to kiss him back, easily finding the smooth slope of his naked waist and tugging him closer. He moaned somewhere low in his throat, tongue slipping out to trace the seam of your lip. You allowed as much, indulging the hungry press of his mouth, the careful nips of his teeth — until he tried to lay you down.

Your palms met the swells of his chest, and he pulled away, breathless and confused. “What is it?” He asked hoarsely, licking over his swollen lips. You’d be lying straight through your teeth if you said he didn’t look irresistible in that moment, wet hair hanging messily over his brows, dark, hooded eyes, all haze and lust as they stared down at you heatedly, full cheeks blushing a feverish shade of red. But you had plans for tonight, plans you didn’t intend to discard for the sake of sexual pleasure.

“I’m not fucking you.”

He gasped, disbelief coloring his features. “What? Why not?”

“Because,” you grinned, settling your hands on his hips, “I’m going to give you a massage.”

“A massa— ah!” his words cut off abruptly with a high pitched yelp as you suddenly spun him around, all but throwing him down onto the petal covered mattress. He could only stare at you in shock as you crawled over his nearly naked body, mouth curved into a playful smile.

“A massage.” You confirmed, sounding rather proud. But, he still looked less than amused, so you elaborated. “You’ve been working so hard these past few weeks, and I know you’ve been stressed and your body is exhausted. A massage will help release some of that tension.”

“You know what else releases tension?” He asked, sinking his teeth into his lower lip. You cocked a brow, feeling the light press of his fingertips as they feathered over your thighs, taking an obvious path upwards. Desire and mischief swirled in his eyes, voice low and thick as the words dripped slowly from his dangerous tongue, “Hot… passionate… s—”

You snatched his hands from your skin before they could reach their destination, pinning them to the mattress on either side of his head. “Shut up and roll over.”

He huffed, pouting up at you scornfully but obeyed nonetheless, rolling onto his stomach. “Do you even know how to give a massage?” He snipped as you settled yourself on the back of his towel clad thighs.

“I’ve done my research.” You offered lightly, sparing a moment to admire the lithe, sinewy build of his shoulders and back before you moved, reaching for the tall bottle you’d situated on the nightstand earlier. He followed your movements from the corner of his eye, curiosity breaking through the petulant facade.

“Don’t you think you’re being a bit cruel?”

“Perhaps,” you teased, pouring the translucent golden liquid into your palm, “but you’ll enjoy this, I promise. Just… relax.”

A defeated sigh escaped his chest, his body deflating beneath you. “Fine. But, this better feel better than sex or I swear to god I will—” he jolted with a soft gasp as you suddenly pressed the heels of your oil lathered palms into the area just between his shoulder blades and pushed outwards, “sue.”

You smirked smugly to yourself at the breathlessness with which he completed his sentence, obviously not having expected the pressure to feel that amazing.

“Good?” You asked, voice tinged with arrogance.

“Uh-huh,” he admitted immediately, moaning throatily as you rolled your thumbs deeply against the base of his neck, “oh fuck that feels so good.”

You chuckled, skillfully working your fingers across the planes of his broad shoulders. He melted deeper into the mattress with every knot you deftly unwound, soft, relieved moans breaking from his open mouth. The smooth, lavender scented oil glistened captivatingly on his sun-kissed skin, the delicate aroma gently permeating through your bedroom. It was a lovely, soothing smell, subtle and unimposing. You spread it diligently across the smooth expanse of his upper back, before gradually beginning to work your way downwards.

His sounds of bliss lowered in pitch the lower your hands reached, dipping into silky tenor groans when your hands reached the delicate dip of his waist. But, as you moved to massage the area just above his hips, he suddenly jolted, spine arching, a strained curse rushing from between clenched teeth.

You couldn’t help the concern that sparked to life in your chest at his response. “Does it hurt?” You asked, easing up on the pressure but not removing your touch completely. Sucking his lips into his mouth, he nodded with a soft, hesitant hum, glancing back at you from over his shoulder. “What happened?”

He made a strange noise in the back of his throat. “I just… twisted it weirdly during practice, I guess.” He offered weakly, shivering as you poured a small puddle of oil in the small of his back.

“Did you take a break?”

His silence was all the answer you needed.

“Baek,” your tone turned scolding as you gently worked your fingers into the tight dip of his waist, “just because you can fight through the pain doesn’t mean that you should. You’re not doing your body any favors by pushing it this hard.”

“I know but I—“ he sighed heavily, pressing his face into the sheets, “I just… don’t want to disappoint anybody.”

Oh, your poor, sweet Baekhyun. Always trying to please everyone else even when it ends up hurting him.

Pausing in your movements, you leaned forwards, bracing your hands on his shoulders so that you could speak in his ear. “Nobody is disappointed in you, Baek. You work so hard everyday to be the best you can be, and it shows. Everyone knows that you put your everything into what you do. And everyone’s proud of you,” you pressed your lips against the curve of his throat, slowly working your way up to the curve of his jaw, “I’m proud of you.”

He glanced back at you through his eyelashes. “Really?”

The question is so soft, so uncertain, and you feel your heart clench painfully in your chest at the thought that this man truly doesn’t understand just how many people adore him for just being… him. “Of course.”

You didn’t miss the rising of his cheeks, though he tried to hide himself beneath his arm, suddenly shy. You bit back a grin of your own, pressing one final kiss to the shell of his ear before returning to your earlier position and resuming the massage. He felt a dozen times more relaxed beneath you, the previous tension occupying his muscles having magically dissipated.

Sometimes, all he really needed was a little reassurance.

The smile that settled across your lips was unwavering as you took to kneading at the supple flesh of his hips, just above the top of his towel. Somewhere in the back of your mind, there was a flicker of a thought. A mischievous, dangerous thought. A thought that had your attention lingering on where the towel was tucked and secured on his right hip. Glancing up at the back of his head, you allowed your fingers to trail discretely towards the damp, white fabric, toying with it lightly so that he wouldn’t notice — not even as it came undone.

It was only as you peeled it swiftly away from his body and Baekhyun felt the rush of cool air across his backside that he realized what had just occurred.

“H– Hey!” He yelped, swinging his head around fast enough to give himself whiplash, eyes wide with disbelief.

“This is a full body massage, Baek. It’s not a full body massage unless it’s full body.”

“My butt does not need massaging.”

You grinned, sinking your teeth into your lower lip as you cocked a challenging brow. “I beg to differ.”

“Pervert.” He hissed.

You gasped, splaying a hand across your chest. “Who told you?”

He scoffed, rolling his eyes at your antics, but put up little resistance as you nudged his hands away from his butt. The tips of his ears and the back of his neck turned a dark, lovely shade of pink, and he quickly buried his face in his arms. Taking that as his nonverbal cue to continue, you poured yourself some more of the lavender scented oil, overturning your palm to let it drizzle onto his cheeks. He flinched slightly, the sensation catching him off guard.

So cute. You bit into the inside of your cheek to keep from cooing at him, opting to set your hands upon the gentle curve of his ass and knead your fingers into the soft, toned flesh. Baekhyun stifled a moan in the crook of his elbow, eyes fluttering as his body responded to the soothing touch.

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” You asked, tone teasing.

“Shut up.”

You snickered, massaging deep circles into the muscles of his upper thigh. He groaned deeply, fingers curling into the sheets. “Right there, right there— fuck, right there. It’s so sore.”

Heat flickered faintly in the pit of your stomach at the low rasping of his voice, grunted roughly through clenched teeth. Geez, why’d he have to sound so damn sexy…

Brushing off the thought as best you could, you forced yourself to focus on massaging the tension from his hamstrings. But each brush of your fingers over the insides of his thighs, intentional or otherwise, coaxed a round of violent shivers and breathless moans from your very much nude and very much oil covered boyfriend. You swallowed a mouthful of saliva, jaw clenching as you squeezed your hands around the backs of his lower thighs.

The sounds he was making weren’t helping your… situation in the least.

“How are you so good at this?” He asked, somewhat airily as your hands glided upwards, to just below the curve of his ass before returning to the crook of his knee. The question snapped you out of whatever trance you’d put yourself in watching the way his slick, honeyed skin dipped and curved deliciously beneath the pressure of your touch.

“Re- research. Lots of research.” You cleared your throat, shifting downwards on the mattress to set to work on his calves.

“You’re hands are fucking magic.”

Warmth slipped into your cheeks at the praise, your heart picking up speed within your chest. He was making it difficult for you to focus.

“I told you you’d like it.” You hummed playfully, beginning the slow ascent back up the length of his naked body.

“You were right,” he conceded easily, sighing in bliss as your hands slid over the small of his back, “I love it. Feels so fucking good, you have no idea.”

A content (and perhaps a bit smug) smile settled across your face. You couldn’t have asked for anything more. All you wanted was to make Baekhyun feel even just a little bit better after what you knew had to be a long, hard day— and you goddamn succeeded.

“Baek,” you murmured, and he gasped softly, not expecting your lips to be right next to his ear. He let out an unsteady hum, blinking hard twice when he felt your lace covered chest press against his back, “roll over for me?”

Swallowing thickly, he nodded. You lifted yourself off of him to give him just enough room to turn onto his back beneath you. All at once you were nose to nose, soft puffs of breath caressing your mouth. He was looking up at you with those eyes again, those hooded, wanting eyes, his hands clenching at the sheets somewhere down by his sides. You could see the dark flush on his cheeks, the desperation slowly seeping into his expression.

“Are you going to fuck me now?” The question was quiet, barely a whisper on his delicate pink lips. But the fire it ignited inside of you was anything but— loud, violent, and devastating, ripping your so well kept self control to shreds in a matter of moments.

“Yeah,” you whispered, sliding a slick hand down his toned stomach, “but I’m going to touch it first.”

He barely had time to react before your hand was around his cock. He gasped, back arching, forcing his chest flush against yours. Surprise flickered across your face upon feeling him already fully hard and throbbing against your palm. “Oh?”

“What?” He huffed out breathlessly, swinging the tip of his tongue over his lower lip, “did you expect me not to get hard while my sexy girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie rubs every inch of my body with oil?”

Pausing, you squinted down at him. “It was the butt massage, wasn’t it?”

He glared, and you grinned.

But any annoyance was wiped clean off his face as you squeezed your fingers around him, stroking his dick at a slow, borderline torturous pace. The remaining oil on your hand combined with his precum provided the perfect lubrication, the slide smooth and wet, the lewd sound of it making you clench around nothing. Baekhyun’s head rolled back, mouth falling open in a silent moan. But, not for a moment did his gaze break from yours. You bit your lip harshly, a violent heat licking at your veins, the sheer intensity of his dark stare making your head feel dizzy.

“You look… so hot right now.” You hadn’t intended to say the words out loud, but you also couldn’t find it in yourself to feel even the least bit ashamed.

The corner of his mouth curled into a sultry smirk, an airy chuckle rumbling somewhere low in his chest.

“Yeah?” You nodded. “Then kiss me.”

You did so without hesitation.

Baekhyun let out a heady groan, hands surging up from between your bodies to cradle your jaw as your lips worked against his with a hunger you hadn’t realized you possessed. It was uncoordinated and messy, all lashing tongue and vicious teeth, biting and sucking and licking until you were certain your that lips were raw. You were dizzy and intoxicated by the taste of him, and he wasn’t in much of a better state. With his cock in your hand and your tongue in his mouth, it didn’t seem like he’d last much longer.

Beneath you, Baekhyun’s hips bucked and rolled, frenzied and desperate. Your hand stilled around him, allowing him the luxury of control as he fucked himself violently into your closed fist. Each moan that tumbled from his mouth into yours was louder than the last, and you relished in the unabashed displays of pleasure, taking an immense amount of pride in knowing that you were the cause of it.

“I’m gonna come,” he gasped the warning, his nails biting harshly into your shoulder, “fuck— fuck, wait— I’m g-gonna come.”

“Baek,” you panted, still trying to catch your breath from the kiss, “come for me. Please.”

His back arched, the furnace of his body overwhelmed but still trying feebly to fight back his oncoming high. Baekhyun didn’t like coming first. He’d always had the tendency of putting your pleasure above his own, making sure you came at least once (if not multiple times) before him. But tonight wasn’t about you. Tonight was about him. And you were going to make sure he knew it.

You buried your face in the crook of his neck, sucking a dark bruise into his skin while simultaneously rolling your thumb over his sensitive tip in a way that had him trembling pathetically beneath you.

“Oh god— oh fuck— y/n—!” He came with a hoarse cry of your name, hips bucking, muscles tensing, skin shivering. You felt his hot release spilling over your knuckles, slipping between your fingers. He whimpered and squirmed as the overstimulation kicked in, but you didn’t stop stroking him until he started begging. “I can’t, I can’t— baby, please—” his chest heaved and his eyes went glassy, the dangerous cocktail of pleasure and pain making his head feel dizzy.

Looking down at him, so wrecked and fucked out, with those flushed cheeks and heavy eyes, you felt your heart flutter at the same time arousal coiled in your gut. He was just too damn pretty for his own good.

You relented, gently releasing his spent dick from your hold. He let out a shaky breath before tugging you into another mind numbing kiss. You moaned softly against his lips, feeling one of his hands coil around the back of your neck while the other explored the expanse of your back. It didn’t take long before they discovered the clasp of your bra, deftly unclasping it. Distracted by the skillful flicks of his tongue, you didn’t realize what he’d done until you felt the lacy fabric slip down your arms.

A giggle bubbled in your throat, and you whispered against his mouth, “naughty boy.”

His lips curled, and then all at once you found yourself sprawled on your back. “Naughty girl,” Baekhyun retaliated in a low, playful growl, pinning your hands to the mattress on either side of your head, “making me cum even after I told you to wait...”

His head dipped and you gasped softly as he nipped at the sensitive part of your throat, one hand sliding down to grip at your naked breast. You bit your lip to suppress a whimper as he circled your nipple with a rough thumb.

“Guess I’ll just have to pay you back for it…”

You weren’t about to object to that.

[wiypt-writes]

You Cut A Mean Rug, Doll Face

Bucky Barnes One Shot

Summary: It’s no secret that Bucky Barnes has women falling at his feet, but it’s very rarely the other way round. He’s the love ‘em and leave ‘em type, well according to Steve anyway. So, when you find him hiding to avoid a certain Private’s advances, it amuses you no end…until she shows up and you find yourself offering to be his ‘Fake Date’ for Stark’s upcoming USO Gala Dance.

Fake Dating in the middle of a war…what could possibly go wrong?

Warnings: Bad language words. Smut. (NSFW 18+)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

A/N:  So this is written as part of @anika-ann​’s 1111 Follower Challenge. Congratulations darling! My prompt was Fake Dating.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar reader and any other OCs that may or may not be mentioned. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

 **********

“Hey, Steve.” You greeted the blonde super soldier as you walked into the little make-shift kitchen, deep in the underground London SSR HQ.

“Afternoon, Agent.” He nodded and you rolled your eyes, picking a piece of fluff off your khaki green uniform jacket.

“Seriously, after everything we’ve pulled together we’re still at agent?” You raised an eyebrow drawing a soft chuckle from the man in front of you as he poured a coffee into one of the tin mugs on offer, holding it out to you.

“Sorry, force of habit. Y/N. That better?”

“Much.” You nodded, taking the mug with a thanks, pulling a face as you took a sip. “God, all the technology we have and I still can’t get a decent cup of Joe.”

“Maybe you should have a word with Stark.” Steve shrugged. “He seems to be able to lay his hands on most things, rationing be dammed.”

“Well, you’re the man with the plan and he’s the man that can.” A smirk pulled at your face as you watched Steve fight the urge to roll his eyes. “Anyway, where’s Barnes? Colonel Phillips is riding my ass about a report he hasn’t filed. Keeps moaning on about us being unable to run strategic operations if we don’t actually do any strategizing.”

At that Steve’s face broke into a grin. “He’s hiding.”

“Hiding?” You frowned. “Chester isn’t that scary, he’s a pussy cat if you figure out how to make him purr.”

“Okay there are so many things wrong with what you just said that I’m not even going to go into.” Steve snorted and you flashed him a grin as he continued. “He ain’t hiding from Phillips, he’s hiding from Private Lorraine.”

“Why?” You paused, mug hovering an inch or so from your mouth.

“Well according to Stark who heard from Jones who heard from-“

“Yeah, yeah, skip to the interesting bit about why Barnes his hiding like the cowardly lion” You cut him off and he raised his eyebrows, his smirk growing wider.

“She wants him to ask her to that USO dance gala thing Stark is hosting.”

At that you felt the heat in your neck, jealousy, at the thought of the blue-eyed solider you’d been harbouring a crush on for months, like some love sick teenager, dancing with someone else. You carefully held Steve’s eyes and licked your lips, hoping you hadn’t given yourself away too much.

“Of course she does.” You shrugged, clearing your throat. “But that doesn’t answer my question. Why is he hiding?”

“He doesn’t want to go with her.” Steve shrugged, taking another sip of his drink and this time you did absolutely nothing to stop the grin that spread across your face.

“How come?”

At that Steve hesitated for a moment before he popped a shoulder again, slightly avoiding your eye line. "No idea."

You knew he was lying, he was notoriously bad at it, but before you could call him out, a deep voice spoke from the doorway.

"Sure your Ma told you it was rude to talk about people behind their backs, Stevie." Bucky grumbled as he walked into the room.

"Yeah, and I'm sure yours told you it was rude to do a lot of things that you still do anyway." Steve shot back and Bucky merely rolled his eyes, walking to the coffee pot and helping himself. 

"Well, I’m astounded." You looked at Bucky as he turned around, leaning slightly against the small units that lined the room. "James Buchanan Barnes is fanning a woman away."

"Yeah, I don’t make a habit of it, Doll Face." He eyed you shrewdly over his mug.

"Still, never thought I'd see the day." You hummed, sipping your drink.

Bucky rolled his eyes and gestured with his mug towards Steve. "Now you sound like him."

"So, humour me, Barnes. What is it about her that’s making you run for the hills?"

Bucky hesitated for a moment before he winkled his nose and answered you. "She’s not my type."

"Really? I thought every woman was your type." 

At that, Steve gave a chuckle. "She's got you there, Buck. I don't think I saw you without one before you shipped off."

"Shut up, Steve." Bucky bit back before he gave a low groan. "She's just..."

"Just what?" You scoffed. "Tall, blonde with big, come-to-bed eyes and pouty red lips? What's not to fall over? Dum Dum follows her around like a dog."

"Sweetheart, Dum Dum would probably chase a pig wearing lipstick if he thought he had a chance." Bucky looked at you his eyebrow raised and you heard Steve give a little snort of laughter. You turned slowly to him, and his eyes widened a little as you narrowed your eyes.

"What's your excuse?"

"His excuse?" Bucky paused, mug poised at his lips as Steve began to flounder over his words, a pink flush spreading into his cheeks.

“Yeah, he kissed her.” You informed and Buck gave a loud groan, placing his mug down on the side. "Peggy caught them, big time."

"She kissed me." Steve protested and at that Bucky sighed. 

"What has my life become? Seriously?" He shook his head, his eyes flicking between you and Steve. "I’m hiding because I don’t wanna go dancing with some broad whilst this punks beating ‘em off with a stick."

"Shield." You corrected as Steve made an exasperated noise in his throat.

"I’m in a nightmare, right?" Bucky finished.

"’Fraid not, Buckaroo." You placed your now empty mug besides his on the wooden counter. "But I suggest that you get your report to me on the Dresden raid or you really will be in a bad dream. Colonel Phillips wants them pronto and I'm not taking the flack because you're too lazy to do it."

Bucky groaned. "How am I supposed to think about that with all this other shit going on?"

"Nice to see you have your priorities straight." Steve scoffed and Bucky glared at him but before he could reply, a loud girly laugh filled the kitchen and you saw Bucky still.

"There you are!" Private Lorraine spoke and you exchanged a glance with Steve, a look of utter glee spreading across his face at his friend's discomfort. "I was beginning to think you were avoiding me, Sergeant Barnes."

"Now what on Earth would give you that idea?" You quipped. As usual, she completely ignored you and watched as Bucky turned to look at her.

"Well, you found me." He nodded, a false smile spreading across his face.

"Yeah, I did. So, err, this dance, do you have a date or..."

Bucky took a deep breath, "well, the thing is..."

"Yes, he does." You blurted out, before you could stop yourself. You stepped forward and slipped your hand into his, ignoring the shocked look he gave you as you stood by his side. "He's going with me."

"You?" Lorraine looked at you, her eyebrows shooting up so high they almost disappeared into her hairline.

"Yes, me." You smiled. "So, you'll have to find someone else to go with. I think Duggan might be free."

"Well, suppose there's no accounting for taste." The blonde woman in front of you looked you up and down and you bristled under her glare, your nostrils flaring angrily. Sure, you might not have her model looks, hell, you might not even be conventionally pretty in some eyes, but you sure weren’t going to make her let you feel like shit. You'd been brought up by a loving family who made you realise your worth and that despite what anyone else said, you were just as good as them. You continued to hold her gaze and eventually she licked her lips and looked away.

"Well, erm, that's..." she clicked her tongue against her cheek, before deciding to cut her losses and she left the room.

The three of you stood in silence before Bucky turned to look at you, a smirk spreading across his face. "You, are a genius!" He pressed a kiss to your cheek and you swallowed slightly, feeling the heat in your neck. "I owe you, big time."

"Yeah, you do." You shrugged. "You can start by doing that damned report. And then you’re buying me a drink at the Gala, seeing as we're, you know, fake dating."

"You got it, Doll." Bucky saluted, flashing you a wink.

"Fake dating?" Steve muttered, and you turned to look at him as he shook his head, looking up at the ceiling. "I've heard it all now."

You cleared you throat, and removed your hand from where it was still in Bucky’s and swallowed. "I need to get going. That report, Barnes. Don’t forget."

"Anything for you, Darlin'." Bucky grinned.

You gave him a last little smile, and then turned leaving the room letting out an inward groan.

What the hell had you just got yourself into?

****

“Why did I do this?” You sighed, looking at your reflection in the mirror, shaking your head.

“Because you’re sweet on him.” Peggy matter of factly replied and you shot her a look in the mirror. She gave you a knowing smirk and you sighed.

“I just felt sorry for him, okay?”

“Sorry for him?”

“Yeah, you know what she’s like, she wouldn’t leave him alone.”

“Admirable.” Peggy nodded, stepping forward so she was behind you, reaching up to fix another pin into your up do. “So what’s your master plan? Act the part tonight and break up tomorrow?”

You shrugged. “Haven’t thought that far.”

“I doubt you’ve thought at all.”  The brunette looked at you, her perfectly shaped eyebrow raising slightly.

“You know, you and Steve really are a match made in heaven.” You scoffed, stepping to the side as you smoothed down the dress you were wearing. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it traced your curves perfectly and made a nice change from the uniform you spent every day wearing. “Go take your righteous indignation and discuss it with him. That is if you’re speaking to him this week, I can never keep up.”

At that Peggy pursed her lips. “We’re not discussing me and Steve, we’re discussing you and how you’re going to get through the next however long pretending to date someone you actually want to date.”

“Well, it could be worse.” You shrugged.

“How?”

“I could be about to spend however long pretending to date someone I don’t like.”

Peggy looked at you for a second and you held her gaze, challenging her to say anything more on the matter. Eventually she merely raised her eyebrows before she turned and looked at the clock.

“We should go.”

With a deep breath you took one last glance at your reflection, grabbed the small clutch from the cot in your room and followed her out.

*****

The small dancehall in London's Soho District was packed with soldiers and civilian staff alike, and you accepted the drink offered to you by a waiter as you entered the main room, the Big Band already playing a bluesy-jazz number as background music, whilst people stood around the room, chatting. It didn’t take you long to locate Bucky. He was stood with Steve and the rest of the Howlies by the bar, all of them dressed in their best uniforms. Taking a deep breath, those pesky butterflies fluttering away in your stomach, you made your way over with Peggy and she let out an annoyed sigh as the men all blatantly looked the pair of you up and down.

“You’d think they’d never seen a woman before.” She mumbled and you scoffed out a laugh.

“Well, we’ve been running missions with them for that long maybe they’ve forgotten that we actually have boobs and a vagina.”

At that Peggy stopped to look at you, and the pair of you started to laugh.

“You are so uncouth.” She shook her head at you, as you linked your arm through hers and continued your path towards your team.

“Like I said, I’ve been in the field with these bozos for over a year, guess their bad habits are rubbing off on me.”

“Well, as long as that’s all that’s rubbing off on you.”

“Agent Carter!” Your mouth fell open in mock horror, turning to look at her as she continued facing forward, her lips quirked up at one side in a barely there smirk. “Now who’s being uncouth?”

“Ladies.” Dum-Dum greeted you with a tip of his bowler as you approached and you nodded to him, smiling before you turned to look at Bucky.

“Wow.” His eyes flicked up and down your form again, and you swallowed, a warm feeling spreading over you as his eyes took in your outfit and when his eyes finally met yours he cleared his throat and you gave him a small smile. “You err, look great. I mean, compared to how you usually look.”

At that Falsworth, Dum-Dum, Dernier, Jones and Morita all snorted as Steve let out a groan.

“Thanks. I think.” You frowned.

“No, I err…I didn’t mean it like that.” Bucky hastily began to back track as Dernier mumbled something in French, of which you caught the words ‘stupid idiot’, Jones hastily agreeing. “I just, well, it’s different to how I’ve seen you before.”

“Well a tight dress and courts ain’t exactly practical for hiking through woods and mounting stealth operations.” You shrugged, taking a sip of your drink. “But for the record, you look exactly the same as you usually do.”

At that the men all roared with laughter as Bucky sighed, dropping his head. “Guess I asked for that.”

Bucky watched as you gave him a small grin, before you turned to talk to Jones, and he took the chance to observe you properly. You looked good. You always did in his eyes but tonight, you were a knock out. Your dress hugged the curves of your thighs and hips, nipping in at the waist with a neckline that showed him just enough skin to leave him imagining what it would feel like to pepper your collarbone with kisses. Your hair was set in a perfect style, your lips rouged, you looked effortlessly stylish. He swallowed, sliding his finger in between the collar of his shirt and neck in an attempt to loosen the starched material as he suddenly flushed very, very warm. He felt timid, awkward, and that in itself made him feel a strange juxtaposition of irritated and amused. Bucky Barnes didn’t get nervous around women, that was Steve’s speciality. But here he was, flapping over how best to ask you if you wanted to get a drink whilst that punk was laughing away with Agent Carter hanging off his every word.

No, this wouldn’t do.

With a small cough, Bucky cleared his throat and dropped his hand to the base of your back. “You want a drink, Doll Face?”

You smiled up at him, blinking and nodded. “Yeah, thanks Buck. A gin would be great.”

Bucky waved over the bartender, placed your orders and had just turned back to you when he spotted the woman who’d thrown him into this mess in the first place, Private Lorraine arriving with some other poor, unsuspecting soldier from the unit. Bucky didn’t know his name, not that he cared.

“Hey,” he nudged you and you turned to face him and he jerked his head, “guess this fake date worked.”

You followed his eye-line and visibly bristled a little bit before you shook your head and shrugged. “Poor bastard.”

“You really don’t like her, do you?”

“Whatever gave you that idea?”

“Just a hunch.” Bucky smirked, passing you your drink, before he gestured with his arm for you to follow the group who were now moving away from the bar to find a table. “After you, Darlin’.”

*****

You had to admit, you’d had your reservations but as it turned out, the night was pretty fun. Whilst you’d been hyper aware of Bucky besides you, you felt reasonably relaxed. His arm had dropped round your shoulder at one point, pulling you in for a friendly hug, the way he often did out in the field, and you’d simply enjoyed being as close to him as you were.

Because, fake or not, a chance to date Bucky Barnes didn’t come along that often.

It was a couple of hours later when you both found yourself at the table with Steve who made an excuse he needed the bathroom and left. Bucky snorted as Steve headed across the room and shook his head.

“Bathroom, he must think we’re stupid. He’s gone to find Peggy.”

“Aww, don’t. I think it’s cute.” You smiled, turning to look at Bucky. “Don’t you? I mean we’re fighting a war and in the middle of all this bloodshed and horror, he’s found someone who…” you trailed off as Bucky was watching you, a strange expression on his face. “Or not…am I talking nonsense?”

“No, it’s not that.” Bucky shook his head. “I just, guess I never thought about it that way. But you’re right. Suppose none of us know how long we have left, especially at the moment.”

He trailed off, his eyes scanning yours for something, but what you weren’t sure. You felt your cheeks warm and you glanced down at your hands, before you turned to watch the dancing going on around you. It was crazy when you stopped to contemplate that, in the midst of all the devastation and destruction, life was still going on. Bucky was right, your time could be up in a flash at any point.

“Well, seeing as you put it so eloquently,” you looked at Bucky, jerking your head to the dance floor. “Wanna show me how it’s done in Brooklyn?”

“Do you mind if we don’t?” Bucky shook his head and your heart sank. “I just…well, I…”

“No, you don’t need to explain.” You hastily back tracked. “I just thought it might keep up appearances, that’s all.”

There was an awkward silence, Bucky studying you for a moment with an expression you really couldn’t place and then, well, it all became too much.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” You made the same excuse Steve had given moments ago, and before Bucky could say anything, you rose from your seat and walked away, as dignified as you could, trying not to let the tears that were stinging your eyes fall down your face.

*****

Bucky watched you walk away from him, your movements graceful as you headed round the tables placed around the edge of the dance floor, taking care to avoid the groups of guests as you went. He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. This was a mess. It had started out as a bit of fun, you helping him out, because that's what you did, but he'd been a wreck all night. Frankly, being in such close proximity to you was making his head swim.

He'd wanted to dance with you, he'd really wanted to dance with you, but he didn’t trust himself because the truth was he liked you. A lot and he had done so for a while. He wasn’t sure he could trust himself to hold you on the dance floor without trying to kiss the life out of you. So he’d said no, and let you walk away, and the look of hurt on your face was now burnt into his mind. With an angry snort he stood up and stalked to the bar, signalling for another drink.

He stood there, nursing his glass for what felt like an age, seething at his own stupidity until a familiar voice cut through his murderous thoughts.

"Did HYDRA scramble your brain or something, Buck?"

"What?" Bucky's brow furrowed as he turned to look at Steve.

"You’re missing a girl's signals."

"Signals, what are you..."

"Y/N, you dolt." Steve rolled his eyes.

"What about her?"

"She likes you, has for ages."

"I don’t think so, Steve" Bucky snorted.

Steve sighed and leaned against the bar as Bucky necked his scotch. "So explain the look she had on her face as she stalked passed me before.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. "She wanted a dance, dames love dancing. I said no.”

“And why did you do that?”

Bucky took a deep breath and didn’t answer. But he knew Steve could see right through him, the punk always could.

“Buck, what exactly did you think I meant that night at the bar when we first came to England a couple of months back? About Peggy having a friend? I meant Y/N."

Bucky blinked, his mouth dropping open. "What?"

"She's sweet on you. Falsworth told me. I was trying to give you a hint."

Utter frustration lanced through Bucky's entire body and he shook his head. "How in the name of Hitler’s left ball was I supposed to understand that?"

"Well, I thought it was obvious."

"No, no it wasn't, Steve!" Bucky groaned, his eyes flicking around, trying to locate you in the crowd but he felt his heart sink as there was no sign. "Oh, I fucked up, big time."

"Suggest you go fix it then." Steve shrugged, his voice a little slow as he himself was busy looking at Peggy as she walked towards him, smiling. He stood up straight and clapped Bucky on the shoulder, before he walked off, leaving his sergeant alone.

Bucky anxiously continued to search the room with his eyes, and felt his heart jump as he saw a flash of colour the same as your dress, and your familiar profile as you walked onto the dance floor, your hand in Howard’s as the man smiled at you, pulling you into a hold.

Oh, fuck you, Stark!

Without wasting another second, Bucky necked his scotch and moved, striding around the dancehall towards you, not watching where he was going which was why he collided straight into Dum-Dum.

"Woah, Barnes, where's the fire?"

"On the dance floor, I hope.” Bucky sidestepped round the broad man quickly, his eyes entirely fixed on you as he weaved his way round the various couples all in the middle of a reasonable slow dance until he reached the pair of you.

He cleared his throat, gently tapping Howard on the shoulder as your eyes fixed onto his, surprise etched across your face.

“Mind if I cut in?”

xxxx

“Did it work?” Peggy asked Steve as the pair of them stood to the side of the hall. Steve glanced over the dancefloor, just as Howard stepped away from you, kissing your hand in an over-the-top gesture before he turned and walked away. Bucky approached you tentatively, and Steve saw you give the faintest of nods, before his friend took you in a close dancing hold.

Grinning, Steve turned back to Peggy, jerking his head to the floor. “See for yourself.”

As the pair of them watched you and Bucky for a second, Steve’s eyes then fell on Howard who had paused to talk to someone. Almost as if he could sense the Captain’s eyes on him, Stark glanced over, a smug grin crossed his face, and he gave Steve the thumbs up sign.

Steve smiled into his glass, the irony at the fact that Bucky had tried and failed many times to fix him up with gals in the past yet he’d managed to turn the tables in a single try, wasn’t wasted on the Captain.

xxxx

“Funny looking bathroom.” Bucky cleared his throat as he steered the pair of you round in a gentle dance.

“Oh, well I got waylaid a little.” You replied. “And seeing as we’re not actually dating, I didn’t think it was an issue.”

“It’s not, I just…” He was quick to reply as he drew in another deep breath before he shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

 “What for?”

“Before, saying no the way I did. It was rude.”

You took a deep breath, your heart racing as you glanced up at him. “So, is that the only reason you’ve come to dance now? To apologise?”

“Yes, I mean, no.” Bucky stumbled over his words as he shook his head. “No, I wanted to dance. More specifically I wanted to dance with you.”

His admission settled like a bubbling brook in your belly. You wondered why, so you asked, "why?" 

Your mind began quickly doing the math, adding up the moments and signals between the two of you, wondering if what you dared to think was actually what he was thinking too. You were nervous but you remained close in your dance, your eyes flicking between his and his lips as he spoke, the words drowning in your ears, his voice sounding like your head was under water. 

“Because I like you, Doll Face.”

Then, you felt it, your body leaning in just a smidge as you tilted your head upward as his moved just a pinch to look down at you. Your lips brushed his and the electricity took off as he pulled you in for a deeper, slightly less modest kiss, the hand that had been curled around your waist moved upwards at the same time his other released yours from his hold, and calloused palms and fingers cupped your jaw and cheeks. Despite the roughness of his skin, his warm hands felt soft against your face like the finest silk whilst his tongue dipped into your mouth, kissing you in a way that your Pappy certainly wouldn’t approve of.

But you approved, boy did you approve.

The sounds of the big band drowned out the mewl that bubbled from your delicate throat to those around you, but not to Bucky. He heard the elicit sound clear as day, and that was enough. He wanted to get you alone, away from prying eyes.

He pulled back, casting a quick glance around before he looked down at you, "let's get out of here."

It was a suggestion as much as an instruction, and he waited as you blinked, before you gave the slightest nod and he took your hand, turned, and led you from the dancefloor.

****

How the pair of you made it back to your quarters, you had no idea, but here you were, stumbling into the small room, heated kisses being shared as Bucky kicked the door shut, his lips still fiercely on yours. Your fingers were now deftly undoing the buttons of his jacket before you pulled it open with a flourish, shoving it down over his shoulders and arms as Bucky was quickly pulling off his tie and opening the collar of his shirt. Before long, that was also discarded somewhere on the floor and your hands slid up his strong biceps, down his chest, tracing the taught muscle before your fingers hooked into the front of his uniform pants and you turned your attention to his belt, breaking the kiss a little so you could look down.

“Eager, Doll?” Bucky mumbled as his nose nudged at your chin, pushing your head up. His lips trailed across your jaw line, and then down your neck and you tipped your head back, your eyes fluttered shut at the feel of his lips on your skin, relishing the feel of his soft mouth and the delectable gentle scratching of his five-o-clock shadow.

His hands slowly slid up your sides, before they moved round the back, his lips pressing to yours as you felt his fingers gently guiding the zip of your dress down. Once it was undone, you stepped back and allowed it to fall into a pool at your feet. Bucky glanced down and groaned as his blue eyes scanned the stockings, garter belt, lace panties and matching bra.

“Fuck, Sweetheart.” His lips crashed back to yours as he backed you towards the cot at the side of the room.  As the back of your knees hit the metal side of the frame, he gently lowered you down, positioning himself over you, caging you with his arms and his legs as his mouth continued trailing soft kisses down your neck and her jawline.

You were powerless to stop the soft noises of pleasure you were making, try as you might, conscious of the fact the walls in the Quarter-Hall were thin, something you cursed on a daily basis as you could hear the squeak of the cot which belonged to the neighbour to your right as she turned over at night. Luckily for you, your springs were untested so to speak, therefore didn’t make a sound, unlike you at that moment in time.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Bucky suddenly stopped, his mouth hovering by your ear and you stilled, tilting your head to look at him. “I mean, this…well, it aint proper really, but…”

“Since when did you give a damned about being proper with a Dame?” You teased, fingers wrapping in the chain of his dog-tags, but there wasn’t a shred of humour in Bucky’s tone or on his face when he answered.

“When that dame was you.”

You blinked, and looked at his face, finding nothing there but a genuine softness and you were overcome with the emotions and sensations you were feeling and you yanked on the chain in your hands, pulling his head back down as you crashed your lips back to his.

“Yes, yes I do. I want this Bucky, I want it so much.” You mumbled against his mouth and he gave a groan, before he stood up, quickly, reaching for his wallet. He pulled out the small condom packet, one you recognised as the standard issued to all soldiers to avoid them catching anything when they were putting it about during furlough, so to speak, and he sat back down on the edge of the bed, bending down to unlace his boots.

Bucky was mentally cursing the damned things as he felt you stir behind him, the hard mattress of your bed dipping slightly, and he stilled as he felt your fingers gently brushing over the back of his shoulders. Your touch was feather light as your hands gently felt across his broad back and he gave a sigh, tipping his head back slightly to catch your lips in a deep kiss.

“Doll, if you want me to do anything to you tonight, I gotta get these boots off.”

“So take ‘em off.”

“Stop distractin’ me then.” His accent dripped from his tongue as he chuckled, and your lips curled into a smile against his.

“You saying you can’t handle a job with a little distraction?” You gave a tut, but pulled away a little to allow him to finally get the damned things off. “And Steve says you’re our best marksman.”

“Well, what does that Punk know?” Bucky tossed the boots to the floor with a thud, before he quickly raised his hips enough to allow him to slide off his pants. Then, in a flash he turned, pinning you back to the cot, smirking at the giggle that burst from your mouth. His hands trailed down your body, flicking open the clips on your garter straps without so much as a fumble, before the reached up and snapped the hooks at the front of your bra.

He took a moment to appreciate you, the soft, supple lines of your breasts a complete contrast to your toned shoulders and taught stomach, both the result of an extensive training regime.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” He leaned over, kissing you softly, his lips tracing a track down your sternum before he softly took a nipple in his mouth, his tongue gently teasing, eyes flicking to your face to watch your reaction. 

You groaned at the sensation, rolling your head back on the pillow, hips bucking upwards as you let yourself go, barely daring to believe that his was happening, but just as you were questioning if you were in some elaborate dream, a low moan from above you caused your fluttering eyelids to jerk wide open. You could feel him hard, pushing against you and your hands moved round to his back.  You dragged your fingers up his spine, as his hand moved down, sliding into the waistband of your panties making your gasp as his fingers slipped into your folds. As he teased you, your hips began to move in time with his motions, groans falling from your lips as the heat began to build in between your legs, deep in your belly.

“Good?” Bucky’s voice was a rasp, and it was all you could do to do whimper softly, your head falling back further as your mouth dropped open, your entire body shuddering as the pleasure lanced through you. You reached down, grabbing his wrist and his eyes moved to yours, waiting.

“Want you.” You whispered softly. Almost as if he’d been waiting for that final bit of permission, Bucky’s fingers hooked into the top of your panties, gently sliding them down your legs, gathering your stockings as he went, a movement he had clearly perfected through goodness knows however many other clandestine liaisons. Discarding them to the floor, he wriggled his way out of his own underwear before he sat back on his heels and you moved, grabbing the packet he’d placed on the small bedside unit before.

Bucky groaned softly as your hands gently wrapped around his cock, sliding the condom down. It really shouldn’t have been as arousing as it was but he was almost ready to blow before he’d even started. Once it was on, he crawled back over you, his thighs gently parting yours a little further and with a steady, slow motion he slid into you, the sensation caused both of you to groan, your head falling back against the pillows as Bucky stretched you, his girth and length filling you completely.

"Fuuucckkk.” Bucky breathed out as your tight heat gripped him, his word little more than a whisper. He moved his hands to snake his fingers through yours, gently pinning your hands by the side of your head as he began to move his hips. He went slowly at first, picking up the speed slightly as you keened underneath him, his dog tags sliding in the valley between your breasts, the metal cold against your heated skin.

Your hips bumped together with every thrust he made and, with each rock into you, he was rubbing against that soft spot deep inside you. Your soft cries stuck in your throat, your senses completely overwhelmed as the fire in your body was raging white hot.

“James,” you whispered his name, and Bucky let out a low groan, his fingers tightened around yours as he gave a particularly deep thrust, making you purr in delight. He raised his head to capture your lips, plunging his tongue into your mouth before he released your hands, his own cupping your face as he continued to move.

In that moment, you could have been anywhere. In a hotel, surrounded by the finest silk sheets that money could buy or on some far away beach in the corner of the world, but instead you were led on a hard mattress in a military base, knowing full well you were in for some serious reprimand if you were caught, but you didn’t care. All that mattered was the man who was currently undoing you piece by piece as the two of you were tangled in your own private dance.

The more Bucky gave, the more you wanted, and as he hiked your leg up round his waist, his fingers curling round the back of your knee you choked out another pant of his name, “James,” as you felt yourself nearing that point where you’d drop over that oh-so-steep cliff edge. The tips of your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders, causing him to groan loudly, his head tipping backwards.

“You feel so good.” His voice was nothing but a whine, and at his praise you gave another low, sultry gasp, your breath now coming in ragged gasps. “God, Y/N,” he moaned loudly as you titled your hips, pushing back up against him, his head dropping slightly. “You close?” he gasped and you nodded softly, your lips falling open and once again he kissed you, hard, his movements speeding up ever so slightly.

“Don’t stop.” You begged, shaking your head as you grasped at his back, “please, so good.”

Bucky felt you shudder underneath him and a few thrusts later your back arched and a soft cry escaped your mouth as your eyes fluttered shut and your head tilted back, mouth open in a now silent scream. He could feel you tightening, pulsing around him as you came and that was it, enough to tip him straight over the edge behind you, the surge and ecstasy of his relief causing his whole body to stiffen as his hips faltered. A groan burst from his mouth as he gave a few final, sloppy thrusts before he collapsed forward, his head burrowing into your neck.

You both lay still for a moment, before Bucky regained enough composure to prop himself up, placing a soft kiss to your lips and as he pulled away slightly, he found you looking up at him, lips swollen from his kisses, heavy lidded eyes blinking slowly in your sated state, and he smiled at the fact you wore that just fucked look so damned well.

“You okay?” He asked softly and you nodded, a smile playing on your lips before you kissed him again.

“More than okay.” You grinned, your nails gently scratching at the nape of his neck. “You got moves, Sergeant.”

Bucky let out a chuckle as he kissed you again, his lips hovering over yours. “Well you weren’t so bad yourself, Agent.”

*****

 “Nice of you to show up.” Colonel Phillips looked at you as you walked into the briefing room. “Late night, was it?”

“Sorry, Sir. I didn’t get much sleep.” You mumbled, avoiding Bucky’s eyes as he looked down at the table, a grin on his face.

“Huh, I could have sworn I saw you leaving the dance early.” Dum-Dum quipped and you shot him a glare as you took up a seat next to Peggy who licked her lips, fighting a smirk.

“Whatever, I’m not interested.” Phillips sniffed before he tossed a file down on the table in front of Steve who reached over to take it. “We have word that HYDRA are intending to move Arnim Zola.”

“Do we know where to?” Steve asked, looking at the file before he glanced up and Peggy shook her head.

“No, this is hot off the press so to speak. Stark’s team intercepted their encrypted broadcast. All we know is that they’re nervous about moving, and that the route has been carefully planned to avoid any long, open distances.”

“They’re going through the Alps.” Phillips moved to a map at the side of the room. “Trying to maintain a cover so to speak. Our surveillance team still has Zola at his current location, but that could change at any time. Captain, I need you to co-ordinate and mount an operation to intercept that train and apprehend him.”

“If you know where he is why can’t we just bust in and get him now?” Bucky asked.

“Because you’ll never get there in time.” Phillips replied. “As we understand he’ll be moving out in a couple of hours. So we’re up against it. The window of opportunity lies about six hours into his trip where there’s a slight break in the mountain cover.”

“How do we know this is kosher?” Falsworth took the file from Steve. “They could be leaving a false trail.”

“We hacked a number of broadcasts, each saying a different thing.” Peggy answered. “But this one held the code words we know HYDRA are using today.”

“And our codebreakers have never let us down before, so I’m willing to take a punt.” Phillips nodded. “Get to it, we don’t have much time.”

There was a flurry of movement around the table as you all stood up, Steve barking instructions at you all to collect what you needed and head to the transportation hub immediately as Dum-Dum mentioned something about zip wires and ambushing the train from above. As you all sidled out of the room, a hand gently closed over your arm and you turned to see Bucky as he fell into step besides you.

“Just so you know, I don’t normally make habit of splitting before breakfast.”

“Oh, you normally eat first?”

“In a manner of speaking.” He smirked and you gave a chuckle. “I just didn’t want you thinking-“

“It’s okay, I get it.” You assured him, and you did. He’d left in a flurry that morning before he could get caught sneaking out of the small room you had in the female quarters and you didn’t hold it against him at all. 

“But, I’d really like to take you out, properly, I mean. When we get chance.”

“You asking me out on a date?”

“Yeah.” Bucky stopped, turning to face you. “A real one this time.”

You smiled and nodded. “I’d like that. Oh, but just so you know, I don’t put out on a first date.”

“No? Then what was last night?”

You hesitated, feeling the heat rising to your cheeks. In all honesty, you had no idea what had come over you last night. You’d never behaved in a reckless manner with a man like that before and taken him home so easily, for fear of getting yourself a bad reputation. That said, you didn’t really care either. You were in the middle of a war, running dangerous missions, any of which could be your last. Life was for living, and as long as you were breathing, you intended on making the most of it.

You opened your mouth to explain this to Bucky, but you stopped yourself and instead you simply smiled at him, your eyes looking straight into those steel-blues which were sparkling with mischief.

“Doesn’t count, it wasn’t a real date.”

“Oh, that’s how it is?” Bucky arched an eyebrow and you nodded.

“Yup, that’s how it is.”

“Well,” He took a deep breath as the pair of you continued walking, “guess I’ll just have to show you a real good time when I get the chance.”

You snorted and shook your head. “You’re a piece of work, you know that?”

“It’s been said.” He grinned as you reached the end of the corridor. “But, first we’ve got a German scientist to catch. Think you can contain yourself around me long enough to run a mission?”

“Okay, first off he’s Swiss.”

“What?”

“Zola, he’s Swiss. I don’t know why you all think differently, it’s in all the briefings and his file-“

“Yeah, I don’t read those.”

“Well you should, you might learn something. And second -“ you held your hand up, finger extended, instructing him to keep whatever wise crack he was about to make to himself, “-you’re not that irresistible.”

Bucky blinked before he gave a laugh and shook his head. “You know, I actually learned a fair bit last night.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I learned that you cut a mean rug, Doll-Face.” He glanced around, before he leaned closer, his breath hot on your neck as he whispered into your ear. “And that you look even better with your clothes off.”

With that he turned and headed off towards the equipment store, leaving you staring after him, blinking with shock, but feeling an overwhelming sense of smugness that, even in the middle of all this bloodshed and fighting, you had something to look forward to when you got back.