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ichigo-daifuku · 5 years ago

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Mon Chéri

Obey Me! Fanfiction [Read on AO3]

Beelzebub/Reader

One afternoon, you tell Beelzebub about a human custom of tying cherry stems into knots with one's tongue.

He shows you just how skilled he is.

Reader is gender neutral. Fluff and kisses 💋

Written in celebration of the twins' birthday!

Word Count: 2.1k

The chatter of students fills the hallways as they exit the classrooms and roam around the campus. With the last of the classes dismissed, you arrive from your short trip to town on time, a spring in your steps as you crane your neck to check for the room number in search of a certain someone. Once you’ve found the correct classroom, you stop and peek inside, excited.

A gluttonous demon awaits you. Alone, Beelzebub sits in the back row, a palm over his stomach as it lets out a grumble so monstrous that it is audible from where you stand. “Ugh… I’m so hungry…”

Without further ado, you call out, “Beel!”

“You’re here!” His sorrowful expression shifts into a smile the second he sees you. “Do you have it?”

You make your way to him and raise the box you’re holding by its ribbon. “Yep. Ta-daaa!”

“Yes!” Starry-eyed, he looks as if all of his wishes in life have been granted, a mixture of incredible relief and unsatiated hunger all over his face. However, the moment is short-lived, another growl emanating from his stomach and making him frown once again.

Poor Beelzebub. Good thing you come bearing gifts. You raise your other hand to surprise him with the purchase you made. “Guess what? I got these, too!”

“Are those chocolate milkshakes?” He leans forward to take a closer look. “They are! Are you an angel in disguise? You’re the best!”

It was nothing new, but earlier that day, Beelzebub had sent you a message through your D.D.D. asking for a favor: to pick up the Madam Devian’s Ultimately Sinful Black Forest Cake he ordered a few weeks ago. Today, his schedule was filled with classes, making him unable to do so himself. He shared with you that he was looking forward to this specific order he placed, so much so that he was willing to skip classes to get it, except he gathered that it would upset Lucifer. He asked you if you were free to pick up his order on his behalf, and you were. Of course, you were more than happy to assist him with it.

As you set the box of cake and milkshakes on the table, his stomach grumbles again, and he tells you, “I’m really hungry. Let’s eat these here.”

“Huh? With me, too?”

“Of course. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to pick up my order in the first place,” he replies with a nod and pats the spot next to him. “Besides, the food always tastes better with you around.”

How straightforward of him. He doesn’t even mean to be so upfront; it’s something that is in his nature. His words coupled with the undeniable attraction you feel for him make your heart skip a beat. “Thanks, Beel. Are we allowed to eat here?”

“I’m sure it’s fine.”

“Alright, then,” you reply and take your place beside him.

Beelzebub slides the box closer to him, unties the ribbon securing it, and takes the cake out. He places it on the long table and pauses. “Oh, I almost forgot.”

From his bag, he draws out two placemats, a container filled with a pair of plates and cutlery, and a box of tissues. To you, he looks as if he is prepared for a picnic and not for a regular school day. Unable to mask your surprise, your eyes shift back and forth from him to the things he is assembling.

“Why do you have those?” you ask him as he sets a placemat and a plate in front of you, a fork and knife following after.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind eating everything from the box, but I really wanted to eat this with you. I thought you might prefer having proper utensils…” He scratches the back of his head, embarrassed at his admission, and continues to set up the impromptu meal.

“That’s very considerate of you. Thank you.” You look away, fiddling with your uniform’s sleeve. If he hadn’t thought of it, you could’ve borrowed eating utensils from the academy’s cafeteria, but still, the fact that bringing them yourself slipped from your mind makes you facepalm internally. But unlike you, Beelzebub came prepared. Always being his kind-hearted self, he thought of you, your preferences, and your eating habits. It catches you off guard. You clear your throat and shift to another subject. “You don’t have any after-school activities?”

“I have sports practice in an hour, and I plan to hit the gym after.” Beelzebub cuts the cake and sets a slice on your plate and another one in his. He rubs his hands together and says, “Anyway, let’s dig in!”

The crowd thins and silence envelopes the whole floor as the two of you take your time and partake in your respective shares of the dessert, with Beelzebub eating three-fourths of the whole thing. He elaborates on how he managed to place the order and how the employees at Madam Devian’s know him because of his unwavering patronage, making him privy to incoming delicacies the shop plans to offer. You listen to him and share your thoughts about the smooth experience you had in picking up his order, occasionally adding a side comment here and there about the cake’s flavor.

“This is so good!” you tell him as you finish the last of the cake, leaving the cherry on the side of your plate as a final treat. The chocolate’s flavor was highlighted in the dessert in a way that you have never encountered before, making you suspect that there are ingredients in this cake that can be found exclusively in this world, and you wonder if you can guess them by the taste alone. Barbatos or Luke would most likely know, and you make a mental note to ask either of them about it the next time you see them.

“It is,” Beelzebub agrees, taking a giant bite of the cake from his fork and smiling as he chews on it. He grabs his milkshake and takes a nice, long sip from it. “It happens rarely, but Madam Devian has human world chocolate desserts from time to time. I keep my eye out for them and make a reservation right away.”

“I see why you’d be excited for them, but this is actually even better than any of the black forest cakes I’ve had in the human world!”

“Oh, I want to try those, too! I want to try all of the food the human world has to offer.”

“The human world, huh…” You look straight ahead, taking the cherry from your plate to your lips and plucking the fruit from the stem with your teeth. As you indulge in the perfect balance of sweetness and sourness bursting on your tongue, you twirl the stem between your fingers. Finished, you take a sip of your chocolate milkshake. “One day, we will.”

He sets his beverage down and turns to you. “Hm? What are you thinking of?”

“Nothing much,” you reply and face him, showing him the cherry stem between your fingers. “It’s just that in the human world, there’s this thing about cherry stems and being able to tie them into a knot in someone’s mouth. That’s all.”

“Like a game?”

“Yeah, kind of.”

His eyes widen with curiosity, the new tidbit he learned about human culture fascinating to him. “I want to try.”

“Just don’t eat it, okay?” you tease half-jokingly but also half-seriously as he takes a cherry stem from the side of his plate.

He nods. “I’ll do my best.”

Beelzebub sticks the cherry stem past his lips and closes his mouth. With a straight face, his eyes meet yours, and his cheeks barely show any sign of movement. In a few seconds, he plucks the stem between his lips and shows you a knot right in its middle, shock etching across his features. “Oh, I did it?”

You are equally surprised at how quickly he managed to accomplish it, and you lean forward to take a closer look. “Huh? You sure did.”

“That was fun.” Beelzebub proceeds to take another cherry stem in his lips, and similar to his previous attempt, he ties it into a knot just as quickly. Soon, a bunch of cherry stems are in a circle on his plate, the last one from your cake untied in your hand. He looks at you expectantly. “So, what’s the prize in this game?”

“Oh, about that… It’s nothing much. It just means that the one who can do it is a…” The realization of the next words you are about to utter makes you laugh nervously, unsure of whether to tell him the truth or to make up a lie.

“Is a what?”

“A great kisser.” Your cheeks turn as red as the cherries at the implication of your words.

“I see…” Beelzebub sets the last cherry stem he tied in its rightful place in the circle he made on his plate. “Do you want to try?”

“Um, sure.” You are certain you won’t be able to tie a knot on the cherry stem, or at least not as quickly or as skillfully as Beelzebub did, but it won’t hurt to try. You reach to take the cherry stem in your mouth when Beelzebub places a hand on your wrist, halting your movement. Confused, you look at him and ask, “Beel? What is it?”

He bends his head down and brushes his lips over yours, placing a quick and chaste kiss on them, one that is over in a couple of seconds before you realize what happened. He lets your wrist go and leans back shyly. “Is this okay?”

Your heartbeat pounds on your chest so loudly that you are certain he is able to hear it. Although taken aback, you reply, your voice low and breathy, “Y-Yes…”

Beelzebub places his palms over your shoulders and draws you closer, his warm lips immediately seeking yours. His movements begin as a gentle caressing of lips, but unlike the first time he kissed you, they grow hungry, his tongue sliding across the outline of your lips and getting a hint of your taste. You accept his advances and part your own lips, your tongue meeting his tentatively. An appreciative groan rumbles from his throat as he enjoys the way you explore each other’s mouths, sucking on your tongue and gently biting your bottom lip and tugging, teasing you in the best of ways that leave you wanting for more. For a while, the sounds of your kissing are all you hear. The combined taste of chocolate and cherries, and ultimately, Beelzebub, is the most decadent flavor you have ever encountered, so intoxicating, and one you can’t get enough of.

With all the self-control you can muster, you pull away from him, your eyes fluttering open and meeting his, your lips brushing, and your heated breaths mixing as you murmur, “Beel…”

No wonder he is able to tie those cherry stems in record time.

Beelzebub looks thoroughly kissed, and you are sure you are the same. He cups your cheeks and leans back with a smile. “Do you want me to teach you?”

Flustered, you place your palm over the back of his hand. “W-What? I mean, I guess…?”

“Okay,” he lets you go and takes the last cherry stem in your other hand, pointing to a particular area. “First, you have to bend this part with your tongue…”

“Oh, I thought you were…” Your brazen thoughts make you want to run away and hide from him. In hopes that he didn’t realize them, you brush it off. “Nevermind.”

“Huh? Did you think I meant something else?”

“I didn’t! O-Of course not.”

“I see…” He reaches out to hand you the cherry stem. “On second thought, you should try doing it if you want to. I don’t think you need my help with this.”

You tilt your head to the side as you take it from him. “Why not?”

“You already kiss well,” he admits with a flush on his cheeks as he looks away. “To the point where I didn’t want to stop, actually.”

You plucked the cherry stem from his fingers and set it aside, taking his hand in yours instead. “Then, don’t.”

His gaze flickers to your eyes, searching for sincerity in them. “You mean it?”

You nod, a shy smile on your lips as you admit, “Yes.”

Beelzebub leans forward until the tips of your noses touch, waiting for you to make a move. “Kiss me.”

There is nothing you want more, and without an ounce of hesitation, you grab his tie, pull him in, and indulge.

I don't even like cherries. I can't believe I wrote something romantic about them lol (；･`д･´)

Thank you to @photoproses for editing this work on such short notice!

Happy birthday to The Twins of Light and Darkness!

I hope you enjoyed reading 〜

→ Mon Chéri (Beelzebub/Reader)

Lullaby (Belphegor/Reader)

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Main Masterlist

#obey me #obey me!#obey me beelzebub #obey me! beelzebub #obey me fanfiction #obey me fanfic #obey me fic #shall we date #shall we date obey me #obey me: one master to rule them all #swd obey me #Beelzeburger

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networkingdefinition · 5 years ago

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Dating Quotes

Official Website: Dating Quotes

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• A lot of people wouldn’t feel miserable in this environment. A lot of people aren’t dating my girlfriend. – Dov Davidoff • About age 30 most women think about having children, most men think about dating them. – Judy Carter • After a number of years dating, we decided we were good partners. – Melinda Gates • Are you kidding? I’m a terrible cook, but John is a really great one. Literally, I never cook. The whole time we were dating, I prepared two officially romantic meals. Both of them were such disasters that he begs me never to go into the kitchen again. – Rebecca Romijn • At the time that I knew them, they were not living together. They began dating again after their divorce, so I didn’t really see fighting. – Kato Kaelin

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Dating', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_dating').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_dating img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Bill Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town. – Tom Clancy • Busy’ is another word for ‘asshole’. ‘Asshole’ is another word for the guy you’re dating. – Greg Behrendt • Celebrities say they date other celebrities because they have the same job. But I think they just like dating famous people. 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So, I had to do the hunting, as it were. I didn’t anticipate meeting my husband online, but there he was. And it all worked out! – Essence Atkins • Gay men should not adopt the sophomoric model of heterosexual dating; gay men should always have sex first. – John Rechy • Good-looking individuals are treated better than homely ones in virtually every social situation, from dating to trial by jury. – Martha Beck • Here’s the funny thing about the response I’ve been aware of to my dating famous people: It’s been very negative. I’m either not good-looking enough, not a good enough actor or not successful enough for these people. – Dax Shepard • Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting. – Mike Binder • How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide? – Judy Tenuta • I also find it interesting that a lot of people in their 30s are not married and don’t have kids. There are a lot of people in this age bracket that are out there dating and trying to find love. And I never thought that at my age I would be. – John Stamos • I came to the realization that I started dating my now-wife junior year of college, before you actually went on a date. You didn’t take girls from college out to dinner. I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never been on a date where I didn’t know the end game. I’ve never casually dated someone. I’ve only been out to dinner with the woman who would eventually be my wife. – Jon Gabrus • I can’t imagine dating a boy, meeting him only outside the home. What’s a home and family for if it’s not the center of one’s life? – Loretta Young • I can’t wait for my little sisters to start dating, because it will really be fun to pick on their boyfriends. – David Gallagher • I could be a party girl, dating whoever I want and being reckless, but I like being in a relationship. When you have somebody who grounds you and keeps you sane, it helps. – Eva Longoria • I do like dating cynics – they tend to be incredibly funny. – Chris Pine • I don’t have the best dating track record. – Lauren Conrad • I don’t know the first real thing about the dating game. I don’t know how to talk to a specific person and connect. I just think you have to go to person by person and do the best you can with people in general. – Jason Schwartzman • I don’t really comment on my personal life because I feel like any comment at all is opening up a whole can of worms. I’d just rather not talk about who I’m dating. – Josh Hartnett • I don’t think courting and dating is a liability. I actually think it can be a blessing. – Rebecca St. James • I don’t understand the whole dating thing. I know right off the bat if I’m interested in someone, and I don’t want them to waste their money on me and take me out to eat if I know I’m not interested in that person. – Britney Spears • I feel like I’ve always had gay fans, I don’t think my dating a woman has changed my demographic, but it certainly changed the way I feel about politics. – Sia Furler • I got that experience through dating dozens of men for six years after college, getting an entry level magazine job at 21, working in the fiction department at Good Housekeeping and then working as a fashion editor there as well as writing many articles for the magazine. – Judith Krantz • I grew up between the two world wars and received a rather solid general education, the kind middle class children enjoyed in a country whose educational system had its roots dating back to the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy. – George Andrew Olah • I grew up in the world of bad television, on my dad’s sets and then as a young schmuck on dating shows and so on. – George Clooney • I have been dating someone that treats my heart like it’s monkey meat. I feel like a delusional, invisible person half the time so I need to learn what it’s like to be treated well before it’s too late for me. – Hannah • I just can’t fathom tweeting, and I’d rather spend my time writing a book than a blog, but I rather grudgingly agreed to a Facebook page. I had a brief, intense romance with Facebook. It’s weirdly addictive, but anything that time-sucking is a danger for a writer who writes as slowly as I do. Now I post only occasionally and nothing very confessional. I think I’m carbon dating myself as I speak. – Debra Dean • I just don’t like when there’s a rumor that says I’m dating someone who is below my standards. But when I got divorced, my ex-wife said I was spending all my time with Lindsay Lohan and Angelina Jolie. I was like, ‘Thank you for the big ups!’ – Marilyn Manson • I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly – Darynda Jones • I like the idea of dating, but I’m not dating anyone exclusively, particularly right now. It’s hard to be in a relationship unless you’re ready to go public with it. So it’s a lot easier for me to not be in a relationship. I really don’t want that part of my life to be tabloid fodder. – Cory Monteith • I love being a single mom. But it’s definitely different when you’re dating. – Brooke Burns • I prefer ordinary girls – you know, college students, waitresses, that sort of thing. Most of the girls I go out with are just good friends. Just because I go out to the cinema with a girl, it doesn’t mean we are dating. – Leonardo DiCaprio • I started dating older men, and I would fall in love with them. I thought they could teach me about life. – Daphne Zuniga • I stopped dating for six months a year ago. Dating requires a lot of energy and focus. – Daphne Zuniga • I think a man’s dream woman changes as he goes through different stages in his life. I’m fortunate to be dating my dream woman now. – Wissam Al Mana • I think I should date a normal girl. I am tired of dating heroines. While I believe in marriage as an institution, I am also petrified of it. – Shahid Kapoor • I think I’m definitely more open. You know the thing is I wouldn’t have said I was closed before, but like, it’s the kind of thing that you don’t even think of other options. I’ve been dating black men for really, for like, I don’t know, 10 years. You know, I haven’t really dated outside of that. Now I think I’m probably am more open to the idea. – Sanaa Lathan • I think more dating stuff is scheduling. It’s needing people who understand your work schedule. – Jennifer Love Hewitt • I tried to tell them about the dating process because I’m single now and how horrible it is and how many foolish experiences I had had dating. So I was really selling him hard, but the whole time he really wanted me! – Andie MacDowell • I want my audience to know me for my work, not because of who I’m dating or what drugs I’m on or what club I went to. – Shia LaBeouf • I want to start dating the man that I’m gonna marry. I want to start having some fun with someone that I know I’m gonna be with. I don’t play any games. I’m too old for that. I’ve been there, I’ve been around the block. – LisaRaye McCoy-Misick • I was dating a guy that was a huge wrestling fan and I’m embarrassed to say it now but I used to make fun of him for watching it. – Torrie Wilson • I was dating this guy and we would spend all day text messaging each other. And he thought that he could tell that he liked me more because he actually spelt the word ‘YOU’ and I just put the letter ‘U’. – Kelly Osbourne • I was thrown into the fashion world, dating models – and you’d read about me dating a new starlet every month. That’s just where my life was. But I’ve grown up a lot. – Stephen Dorff • If you want me to be straight, gay, into monkeys, dating Kylie, whatever, I’m happy for people to project whatever onto me! – Darren Hayes • I’m a bad dater – I’m just not good at it. It’s so weird dating in this town. It’s like high school. I get a lot of people who have their publicist call my agent to ask, ‘Is she dating anyone? – Jules Asner • I’m dating a girl who’s pretty levelheaded. She’s a nurse. She’s a real, normal girl. Which is what I need because my life isn’t normal. – Kenny Chesney • I’m dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over. – Garry Shandling • I’m dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it. – Garry Shandling • I’m friends with a lot of my exes, but it took time. We didn’t just get into it. I don’t think you can be friends until you’re cool with them dating someone else. That’s when you know. – Rashida Jones • I’m much more interested in what an actor has to say about something substantial and important than who they’re dating or what clothes they’re wearing or some other asinine, insignificant aspect of their life. – Ben Affleck • I’m not cynical about marriage or romance. I enjoyed being married. And although being single was fun for a while, there was always the risk of dating someone who’d owned a lunch box with my picture on it. – Shaun Cassidy • I’m not great at dating, but I need to do it to relax. – Lena Dunham • I’m not interested in serial dating; I’d honestly rather be single. – Tamsin Egerton • I’m not very experienced with boys or the whole dating thingy. – Vanessa Hudgens • I’m not with anybody, I don’t have time for dating. Not to get too personal, but it’s weirdly harder to meet new people now. But for the first time in my life since I was a little kid, I’m not so concerned about it. – Justin Vernon • I’m of the belief that dating “potential” is almost always an exercise in frustration. – Mallory Ortberg • I’m so an all-or-nothing person in dating, always. I’m big on not wasting time. And so, yeah, if something’s not working, it’s time to not hold people back. – Ginnifer Goodwin • In its purest form, dating is auditioning for mating (and auditioning means we may or may not get the part). – Joy Browne • Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic? – Dov Davidoff • Is it a bad sign when you see the person you’re dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you’re rear view mirror? – Dov Davidoff • It was funny actually because that was still during the time we were dating. He would get all these calls because supposedly before we broke up, we had already broken up in the trades, in the rags or whatever. – Rosario Dawson • It was really shocking to me that when I was dating a dude I could get married and my taxes were 8 grand less, blah blah blah. – Sia Furler • It was V-day and I was stuck at home while the guy I was dating was at an Anti-Valentine’s Day party. How wrong was that? It was one thing to be totally alone on V-day, but another to want to be with someone who would rather spend the evening protesting love instead of making it. – Kate Madison • It’s always been my personal feeling that unless you are married, there is something that is not very dignified about talking about who you are dating. – Luke Wilson • It’s amazing how much time and money can be saved in the world of dating by close attention to detail. A white sock here, a pair of red braces there, a gray slip-on shoe, a swastika, are as often as not all one needs to tell you there’s no point in writing down phone numbers and forking out for expensive lunches because it’s never going to be a runner. – Helen Fielding • It’s so easy to misuse social media as a dating tool. I think it can be useful but it’s scary when you think about who can access this information and what they’re doing with it. – Justin Long • I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted. Where is he? – Kristin Davis • I’ve been dating younger men since my 20s, When I was 29, I dated someone 21… younger men are just more fun. I like their energy. I’ve always been kind of young for my age. – Dana Delany • I’ve been in plenty of situations where someone I’m dating had more time for a console than me. – Josie Maran • I’ve done a number of studies with speed dating and Match.com and what’s interesting is that you know we still walk into a speed dating event, you know, thinking about what it is we’re looking for in a mate and so you ask people, like women will say “I’m looking for somebody who is really kind and sincere and smart and funny.” – Sheena Iyengar • I’ve had a little bad, bad media luck the new year. Well, apparently I’m dating Bill Clinton, which makes me nervous. I didn’t know, though. – Julie Bowen • I’ve learned that I don’t want to be as open or public about relationships anymore. In my first relationship, I thought I could hold on to the normalcy of just being like “Yeah, we’re dating,” just like if it were high school and I was telling my friends. But in high school, there aren’t articles written everywhere when you break up and you don’t have everyone in the school coming up to you and asking what happened or sharing their opinion with you. It didn’t feel like ours anymore, it felt like everybody else’s. – Camila Cabello • Just because times change and alot of people think that dating multiple people is the thing these days, it just isn’t a solid foundation at all in matters of the heart. I still believe in marriages that have a physically powerful foundation. – Angela Merkel • Like the guy I was dating. White, liberal, educated. I went to meet his family and I think that they probably didn’t know they had a problem with it until he walked in with me. And they definitely had issues. Mom had issues with it. Could not, didn’t want to see her son. And I don’t think she had anything against me. But it was about her son bringing me home. And I felt that for the first time. I was like, ‘Wow, that’s deep.’ It’s really simple: I don’t fit their picture. – Sanaa Lathan • My husband is the only guy I’ve ever dated where I’ve never been drunk around him. I couldn’t handle dating without drinking in the past. – Alison Rosen • My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I’m going to tell her I’m dating two different guys-Mr Duracell and Mr Energizer. – Michelle Landry • My mom is going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people. But I don’t want to put myself in the position where I’m in a monogamous relationship right now. I’m not dating just one person. ‘Sex and the City’ changed everything for me because those girls would sleep with so many people. – Lindsay Lohan • My original inspiration was my mom: a few years after the death of my dad, she started dating one my teachers! – Meg Cabot • My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. – Jenny McCarthy • My wife and I have been together since 1986. I graduated in ’86 and she graduated in ’88. We began dating when she was 17. Actually she turned 18 when we started kissing and stuff. – Cuba Gooding, Jr. • No one knew me until I met my wife Lulu. Lulu’s mother used to ask, Which one is Maurice? For six months she thought Lulu was dating Barry. – Maurice Gibb • Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion. – Scott Adams • Of course, a lot of courtship and dating is about sexual attraction. If you’re an attractive person, you have that sort of interest from people, whether you cater to it or not, but when you get older, that’s not really the leading thing anymore. – Patricia Arquette • Oh, my dating skills are the worst. No, I pick the wrong men; it’s amazing. I am awful, the worst dater. – Paget Brewster • On girls night in we talk about dating; the ups and downs of the previous week. Our collective laughter is uncontrollable and tearful, even the most disappointing dates become meritorious on girls night in. – Cilla Black • On the Hugh Grant romance rumours: We’re not dating and I’m not pregnant. We have not kissed or touched. We have not fought and broken up. – Sandra Bullock • One of my best friends is dating my other best friend, Lena! – Taylor Swift • Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen. – Conan O’Brien • Rumors about me? Calista Flockhart, Pam Anderson, and Matt Damon. That’s who I’m dating. – Ben Affleck • So if I was dating somebody now and the relationship didn’t work out, I’d take that as failing – Gavin DeGraw • Some burns,” Clary said. “Nothing that matters” “Everything that happens to you matters to me.” “Well that certainly explains why you haven’t called me back once. And the last time I saw you, you ran away without telling me why. It’s like dating a ghost.” Jace’s mouth quirked up slightly at the side. “Not exactly. Isabelle actually dated a ghost. She could tell you–” “No,” Clary said. “It was a metaphor. And you know exactly what I mean. – Cassandra Clare • Tess realized one of the great modern dating sadnesses: everyone is so used to the comforting glow of the computer screen that no one can go so far as to say “good morning” in public without being liquored up. – Amelia Gray • That’s the advice I would give to women: Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. Look at how the guy treats his mother and what he says about women. How he acts with children he doesn’t know. And, more important, how does he treat you? When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good. You should never feel less than. You should never doubt yourself. – Michelle Obama • The global economy is becoming a place where women are more successful than men, and these economic changes are starting to rapidly affect our culture – what our romantic comedies look like, what our marriages look like, what our dating lives look like, and our new set of superheroes. – Hanna Rosin • The Google algorithm was a significant development. I’ve had thank-you emails from people whose lives have been saved by information on a medical website or who have found the love of their life on a dating website. – Tim Berners-Lee • The inspiration for this movie [Something New] was this Newsweek article that came out a couple of years ago that talks about 42.4 percent of black women in America aren’t married. Black women are shooting up the corporate ladder way faster than our black male counterparts. And (black men) are either dating outside their race, in jail or dying. And so if you want to have a family, you want to be married, you have to look at other options. – Sanaa Lathan • The learned are not agreed as to the time when the Gospel of John was written; some dating it as early as the year 68, others as late as the year 98; but it is generally conceded to have been written after all the others. – Simon Greenleaf • The love is so powerful that both people have to surrender. I think that’s the funny thing about dating somebody for the first time, it’s kind of a question of who wears the pants, or who’s gonna text you first, how much am I supposed to put myself out there, and it makes you feel a little bit crazy. But at the end of the day, it’s not about that. And if it’s the right person you don’t have to worry about that. – Zella Day • The most difficult part of dating is the initial invitation. – Janell Carroll • The number of people who have either gotten married or had kids or started dating or just made great friends over Instagram is countless. I think we’re the only platform that continues to be successful in bringing people together in real life for these real relationships. – Kevin Systrom • The United States is now relearning an ancient lesson, dating back to the Roman Empire. Brutalizing an enemy only serves to brutalize the army ordered to do it. Torture corrodes the mind of the torturer. – James Risen • The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed. – Bill Maher • The woman I am currently crazy about was a vegetarian for a year until I started dating her. As is the case with most vegetarians, she had never eaten properly prepared meat, only commercially packaged or otherwise abused flesh. – Steve Albini • There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted. – Judith Martin • There is no golden rule of dating, except to make sure that it engages both of you; too many people go to a cinema for a first date and of course don’t say a word, that’s a bad thing! – Steven Hill • There’s an interesting story around that [“Heaven Without a Gun”], because the girl I was dating at the time got into a bike accident and couldn’t make it into the studio, and the gentleman Dave Hamlin who worked on this record along with Ohad sort of took it, rearranged it. Dave went and sonically changed it and changed the keys so that Andy could sing it better. All these pieces came together that suddenly displayed that the song was meant for Andy [Kim] to sing. And he always said, “I’ll never understand it, but I’ll sing it with all my heart.” – Kevin Drew • There’s no way to get around it; online dating is work. And some people are more skilled at this kind of communication than others. – Rachel Martin • We had two rules growing up in my house: If you’re going to take a shower, do it with whomever you’re dating so you don’t waste water; and if you buy one for yourself, buy six, because everybody’s going to want one. – Moon Unit Zappa • Well, dating has become a sport and not about finding the person you love. – Rashida Jones • Whats nice about my dating life is that I dont have to leave my house. All I have to do is read the paper: Im marrying Richard Gere, dating Daniel Day-Lewis, parading around with John F. Kennedy, Jr., and even Robert De Niro was in there for a day. – Julia Roberts • When I had been dating my husband for a while, the president Obama said to me, “When is he going to put a ring on it?” And I was like, “Oh, come on. We are so busy. We don’t need to think about that.” He said, “He needs to put a ring on it because you’re worth it.” And the thing is, I’m not even kidding you, it was about a week or two later that we got engaged. – Alyssa Mastromonaco • When I met Nathan, I told my tour manager he was too good-looking for me. I don’t have a history of dating good-looking men. I’ve always complained that girls don’t get male groupies, and now I’ve married the first groupie I’ve ever had. – Nina Persson • When I saw music as a means to an end – more fame, more money, dating celebrities – that’s when things have gone terribly wrong. Now my life is focused on just trying to keep making music. Because when it’s really good, it’s just the most remarkable feeling on the planet. – Moby • When someone is good, but it doesn’t seem like their world will collapse if they don’t get the part, it’s more appealing. It’s like dating someone: You don’t want someone who’s too into you. – Steve Carell • While she could hardly fathom what had just happened to her that night, she reached some conclusions before she fell asleep, certain things now made perfect sense; Moon River didn’t sound so syrupy, mistletoe wasn’t such a bad idea, and perhaps dating was not such a frivolous waste of time after all. – E. A. Bucchianeri • With my husband it was never like “omg, should I text him?” or “he didn’t call me for two days.” So, I think I knew it was right because it just happened so naturally. That’s one piece of advice that I would give to women who are struggling in this crazy world of dating. – Lindsay Ellingson • Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people. – Douglas Coupland • Would a dating service for people on the net be “frowned upon” by DCA? I hope not. But even if it is, don’t let that stop you from notifying me via net mail if you start one. – Richard Stallman • You know, I had my mother and my father convincing me that he would be going back to Hollywood and he’d be back with the actresses and dating them and that he wasn’t serious about me at all. So I had him saying one thing to me and my parents telling me something else. – Priscilla Presley • You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole. And if you’re in that relationship and you’re dating, then my advice is, don’t get married. – Michelle Obama • You’re talking to someone who has been married to various people for the last 40 years of her life. Dating is not really something familiar. I’ve never really been a dater. – Stockard Channing

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equitiesstocks · 5 years ago

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Dating Quotes

Official Website: Dating Quotes

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