#AND ALSO someone from my dance school my bestie also went to that school. he came to my dance school and i was likeWHAT | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eff4freddie · 6 months ago

Text

After She Left | Five

Words: 6k

Preparations for Jackson's first ever prom are well underway, and even Ellie is helping out. As Jackson's only teacher it is, of course, your job to run the show and you'd be more than capable if one parent didn't keep distracting you.

Chapter warnings: Illusions to smut, slow burn, angsty memories of being a teenager, 'She' finally arrives. Minors DNI.

A/N: Ok, second act kicks off after this chapter. You'll get a glimpse of what that means now. Hope you enjoy!

Four | Series Masterlist | Six

Your dreams were changing. Used to waking with a chill, the echoes of loss and the face of your sister blurred in the grey clouds streaking across your dreamscape, you��d started to wake now with a warmth, a vein of light. You felt it on your skin like the first spring day out of a long, cold winter. You’d wake trying to grip its tail as it slipped from you.

The prom thing was your idea, and you only half regretted it. You’d had the idea when Isaiah had asked you what school for you was like, so fascinated by the before times, the kids trying hard to imagine classroom upon classroom filled with students all of the same age. You’d tried to explain that school wasn’t anything, really, that sometimes you didn’t even go because it was so boring, and they gawped at you, disbelieving. You felt a little sliver of shame at having wasted it, reminded yourself that was what you were supposed to do at age 14.

You’d mentioned prom, and there had been a ripple of interest throughout the room.

‘So, there was dancing? But it wasn’t the whole town, it was just you and your friends?’

‘Well, there were teachers and parents as chaperones, but…yeah, there were so many of us that it was just each grade. We got all dressed up, we had our picture taken, we had to choose dates.’

‘You went with a boy?’ Celina piped up from the front row, her nine-year-old face scandalised by the idea that you would willingly expose yourself to boy germs.

‘Yeah, well, some girls had boyfriends in their grade.’

‘Did you have a boyfriend?’ someone asked, the judgement almost silent, and you knew without looking that it was Ellie.

‘No, I didn’t. I had a crush on a boy, but it didn’t really…’

You remembered him, even now, an actual apocalypse not enough to erase the shame. You’d let your friends talk you into a promposal, standing in the bleachers as he ran track with an enormous sign that you’d spent far too many hours painting at your bestie’s kitchen table. It had heart-shaped glitter. You were especially proud of that detail.

You hadn’t realised that the entire track team would also see it, that you would need to specifically point him out in the crowd. Never had you imagined that he would dodge away from your finger, pretending to hide behind another boy, dodging your desire for him while his teammates laughed. It was enough to shrivel your heart into coal. You’re not sure you ever recovered.

You said none of that in your Jackson classroom. Instead, you focused on the decorations, that there was always a theme, that you heard the high school two towns over got Nelly Furtado to play live at theirs, but you weren’t convinced that was any more than an urban legend. They had no idea who Nelly Furtado was. You didn’t try to explain.

‘So can we have one?’ Mika asked, finally looking up from his comic book. You hadn’t thought he was paying attention.

‘A prom? Well, I’d have to talk to the town council.’

‘Tommy’s my uncle, I got an in,’ Ellie said, her face lighting up with the power of being connected, such nepotism so rare as the last vestiges of civilisation withered.

The kids grinned up at you, and you realised that maybe this was something they needed. Jackson already did Christmas, blew eggs, painted them with bees wax and dye from mashed beets and honey, and held a hunt on the first weekend of what the town council’s best guess was April. You could get the kids to decorate with paper flowers. It would be really cute to watch them decorate the mess hall, and there was probably some kind of educational value in it, too.

From his post, Joel watched Guillaume and Jonah, his new patrol partner, disappear into the treeline. He watched them, a little nugget of shame festering in the depths of his belly, but mostly – if he allowed himself to admit it – he was happy to have been moved to shifts on the wall. It meant he wasn’t back so late for Ellie, that he could be home to help with her homework or make her help him make dinner, and he didn’t feel so paranoid all the time when he could see the horizon. He didn’t mind the early starts, preferred the quiet up there, liked being able to turn and survey the town as much as the wilds outside it.

If he turned and leaned over a little, up on one foot on the top rung of the ladder, and leaned a little to the right he could make out the path heading up to the schoolhouse. When Billy asked him what he was doing, he explained he wanted to make sure his girl got to school OK. He generally, for the most part, broadly speaking, was referring to Ellie.

Tommy had been nice to enough not to give him shit for it, even after a bloody-nosed Guillaume took it upon himself to point out that Joel was a liability out there. Tommy had appeared on his doorstep the next morning, his brows crowding together, but Joel had spent most of the early morning on the wall, had imagined you lying in bed as he made sure to keep the nastiness away from you, and he was more ready than his little brother expected to hang up his boots.

‘M’getting older, Tommy, we talked about that,’ Joel reminded him, and Tommy nodded.

‘Still the best shot we got, and the best survivalist.’

‘Don’t mean I can’t advise if anyone asks it of me,’ he said. ‘S’not even that hard, just gotta keep your wits about ya.’ He thought for a long moment. ‘Maybe it’s gettin’ harder, now I think about it,’ he conceded.

‘Well, so long as you’re agreeable,’ Tommy said, shuffling awkwardly.

‘What would’ya have done if I wasn’t?’ Joel asked, a crooked grin forming on his face.

‘Would have taken you off patrol, but mighta felt a little bad about it,’ Tommy answered, earnest. Joel scoffed.

‘You’d pull rank, Town Councilman?’

‘Yes’sir, I would,’ Tommy said, no less earnest. Joel nodded at him.

‘Good,’ he affirmed, and saw the way Tommy expanded under the praise of his big brother. ‘You do what’s right for Jackson, always,’ Joel said, and Tommy agreed.

It was cold up there, though, the windchill on his face and his fingertips causing his whole body to tremor in his coat. It was Spring, but it was turning out to be a cold one, not a lot of warmth getting around the mountain. Joel shuffled his feet, trying to get the feeling back in his toes a little. He hadn’t brought his big coat, thinking the sun would be enough to keep him warm, but now that it was nearing the end of the day, the sun disappearing below the mountain ridge, he was counting every minute until he could clamber down and warm up.

He knew you’d be at his place already, working with Ellie at his kitchen table now that the heat had gone out of the day. He was going to try and make his beef stew tonight, had practically begged the kitchen staff to let him have a side of the meat. He hadn’t resorted to violence, but he would have.

He just wanted to thank you for everything you were doing for his daughter. Wanted to nourish your body the way you were nourishing her mind.

Billy called up to him from the bottom of the ladder. ‘Come on down, Joel, night shift’s here.’ Casting one last glance at the treeline, he vaulted down the ladder to rungs at a time.

You’d held a democratic process to determine the theme for the prom, but Ellie had dominated it anyway, either unfamiliar with, or just straight up unwilling to, compromise. As the day grew closer you gave up any pretence of tutoring her, working instead on cutting out yellow paper stars at Joel’s kitchen table.

‘Why does the moon change?’ Ellie asked, one day, and you’d paused for a second. You weren’t sure how bad FEDRA school was by the time she was in it, but that seemed fundamental.

‘Well, I mean, you know we’re a planet, right? That we’re like, a big round ball? Floating in the sky?’ Ellie levelled an impatient gaze at you, and you swallowed.

‘Do you think I’m an idiot?’ she asked, and you thought very hard and very fast.

‘I think you’re brilliant and FEDRA school is terrible,’ you said, diplomatically. She softened, her cheeks pinking up a little.

‘Can’t argue with you there,’ she said, quietly.

‘I mean, how much did they teach you about planets?’

‘Sweet fuck all,’ she said, plainly, and you wanted to tell her not to swear but she was in her own house, and it felt like the horse had bolted long ago in any case. ‘But I read about it as much as I can.’

‘The moon?’

‘All space… being that high up where nothing can, no-one up there who can…it’s just so cool. Were you alive when they landed on it?’

‘Ellie, that was the 60s,’ you complained, waiting for her to do the mental maths and wondering how old she thought you were, or if all adults were just ‘old’ to her, a kind of non-descript age in which you are both responsible for everything and also mere moments from shuffling off into death.

She stared at you blankly. ‘I wasn’t born for another like, twenty years,’ you said.

She nodded. ‘Oh.’

‘A lot of people didn’t even believe we really did land on the moon,’ you said. You picked up another piece of paper, your pile of stars nearly double the size of Ellie’s. She wasn’t being careful, her general distractedness was making her slow.

‘What? But wasn’t it on TV?’

‘Yes, it was, but they said it was faked.’ Her eyes blew wide at this, and you realised she was considering it. ‘Ellie, there’s no way it was faked. There are footprints up there that’ll be there forever.’

‘Guess we’ll never know, now,’ she said, quietly, and you suddenly wondered whether the space theme was such a good idea, after all, whether you were tormenting the kids with something they would never see, never have even the smallest chance to explore.’

‘Ellie…’ you said, but she wasn’t looking at you anymore, concentrating hard on her paper star.

‘It’s ok, it’ll be fun to pretend for the night,’ she said. ‘There’s a lot of pretending, won’t be too hard.’

You wanted to ask her what she meant, who she thought was pretending, but you heard heavy footsteps on the front porch and knew Joel was home. You felt your cheeks flush, your hands picking up a little tremble that make it hard to grip your scissors.

‘Hello, ladies,’ Joel said, and when you looked up, he was grinning at you both from the doorway, his hands criss-crossed over his chest as he leant on the frame. It was a domestic enough moment that you had to fight the impulse to go over to him and welcome him properly, into your arms. Ellie barely acknowledged him, because she was 14.

‘What are we making?’ he asked, picking up one of Ellie’s ‘stars’ and genuinely requiring clarification. You winced a little at it. Perhaps it could go towards the back.

‘Prom decorations,’ Ellie said, and she still seemed a little down. You watched her, carefully, trying to determine if she’d already lit her fuse.

‘Oh, I won’t interrupt,’ Joel said, raising his hands, feeling something in the air. ‘You stayin’ to eat, Teach?’ he asked, and he hoped his voice didn’t make him sound too eager, didn’t give him away.

‘I don’t want to be a bother,’ you said, just like you always did.

‘Oh my God!’ Ellie sighed, throwing her star down in front of her and pushing her chair back. ‘Just say yes, you always end up staying anyway.’

‘Ellie!’ Joel barked at her, and she huffed, her shoulders so high they nearly touched her ears.

‘It’s true, you guys do all this polite bullshit and for what? Just say what you want and then you can get it. It’s not so hard.’

You looked over at Joel, who was staring at his likely hormonal teenager with a perplexed look on his face. You took a second to gather yourself.

‘I would love to stay for dinner, Joel, but one of these days I want you to let me cook for you both.’

Joel paused, considering this. Eyes still on Ellie, who was still quietly fuming, he nodded his head, once. ‘I would like that, Teach,’ he said, his careful tone that of every bewildered teenage-girl-Dad the world over. ‘Ellie, I want you to go wash up before dinner, then I want you to peel the carrots.’

She stood up, stomping to the washroom. You concentrated hard on the paper in your hands, hoping it was enough to stifle your smile.

‘I want to know what the fuck that was about,’ Joel said to you, but smiling.

‘I want to remind you there’s nothing worse than being a teenage girl,’ you replied.

You stood, wobbling on the end of a step ladder, hanging up the stars. Tommy found some string lights and put them up around the mess hall, and Johnny and his assembly of post-apocalyptic musicians set up in the corner. You and Tommy had already pushed all the tables back against the wall to make a dance floor. As you worked, he regaled you with his favourite memories of his own prom, most of which seemed to involve trying to get up the skirt of someone called Tammy Schmidt. She’d never let him anywhere near her, and you told Tommy to his face she was right to do it.

‘You would have been Tommy and Tammy,’ you said, and he started to giggle. Actually giggle.

‘That was the appeal!’ he said, sheepish. ‘I figured it sounded like those made-up celebrity names.’

‘Brangelina,’ you said, and he grinned.

‘Tomammy,’ he replied, and you rolled your eyes.

After everything was set up you went home to get dressed, pulling out a little black number foraged from the bottom of Maria’s wardrobe. She had complained she was never going to get back into it, and you had waved her off. It made you feel silly and out of place and pretty and ridiculous, and you liked the way it swished when you walked. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d swished anywhere. It felt so normal you weren’t sure you could trust it.

When you arrived back at the mess hall the lights had been dimmed, and Johnny and his band were starting to warm up. With the lights down and the paper streamers and stars you could forget for a moment it wasn’t a normal prom, a real one. You felt a surge of pride in your belly, looked around at the tangible good.

You heard the doors to the mess hall swing open, followed by shrieks and laughter and multiple sets of rapidly advancing feet.

‘Oh my god it’s so amazing!’ Mika said, his face illuminated by the warm glow of the string lights, of the smile stretching his cheeks.

‘This is cool,’ Dina said, quietly, up the back, and you grinned. Something in you, some teenage part of you, was quietly relieved.

More kids arrived, some trailed by their parents, and you busied yourself setting up the orange juice and cola station. The kitchen had done little sandwiches and finger food and you wanted to make sure the kids ate, worried you’d send them home on empty stomachs and sugar pinging through their veins. That their parents would never forgive you, and that they would be right.

As soon as the band started up you stepped back, letting the kids swarm the plates and start to dance. You wanted to join them but you also felt a pull back to the edge of the room, kept thinking you were seeing snatches of your sister in the half-light, of you as a girl. You weren’t sure what the feeling was, some kind of melancholic nostalgia, some kind of longing for something that didn’t make sense to you. You’d never even liked prom that much, had mostly just gone because everyone else was. But it was different seeing one from the other side: from the other side of adolescences, from the other side of the end of the world. It felt precious and sad and joyful, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to turn away from it or bottle it up and store it safe under the bed.

You kept wondering if this was what your 14-year-old self ever envisioned for herself, if she could have envisioned anything so apocalyptic at all.

The doors swung open again, and you exhaled the breath you didn’t realise you were holding when Ellie strode in, almost skipping, her face titled up to the ceiling to see all her decorations hanging in the rafters. ‘Holy shit!’ you heard her exclaim, and you cringed a little, trying to avoid the eyes of the parents. You would have to speak to her about that, eventually.

You turned to pour yourself a juice, the acid tingling at the back of your teeth, before you heard heavy footsteps behind you, even over the thrum of the music and of Ellie grabbing Mika and swinging him around the dancefloor.

‘Hey, Teach,’ Joel said, his baritone rumbling out from his chest. You suppressed a shiver.

‘Joel,’ you turned to him, allowing the surprise to show on your face. ‘What are you doing here?’ You were ignoring that he was standing in black suit pants and a white shirt, unbuttoned at the neck, maybe a size too big, you couldn’t be sure. He’d done his hair, or had made an attempt at it, maybe running water through it and in the humidity of the room it had started to curl. You were alarmed at how distinctly you wanted to lean forward and sink your teeth into his neck, to lave at the skin there, to feel his pulse with your tongue.

You swallowed, the juice catching in your throat and making you splutter. Suddenly Joel was beside you, an enormous warm hand between your shoulder blades as you fought, doubled over, for breath.

‘Easy, easy,’ he was saying, and you wanted to slam your eyes shut and imagine him whispering exactly that as he slid inside you, as he rocked into you and felt your cunt quiver around his length. Jesus Christ, you were going to spontaneously combust.

‘Sorry, went down the wrong hole,’ you said, fluttering your hand in front of your face in the hope it would ward him off somewhat. As you straightened, he let his hand slide down your spine and away just as he reached the small of your back, and you felt your spine arch towards where his touch had been.

Fucks sake, you needed to get it together. You were like some horny teenager at, well, prom.

‘Tommy had something he needed to do at home, something with the baby.’

‘Is he OK? Is Maria Ok?’

‘Yeah, they’re fine, the baby just has a sniffle and I believe Maria’s exact words were “you’re not going out there to watch teenagers marinate in their hormones while I sit at home being snotted on by your crotch fruit”.’

You gaped at him. ‘Maria did not say crotch fruit.’

‘Might have put my spin on that bit,’ Joel said, grinning.

For his part, Joel was watching your eyes so that he wouldn’t look down at your dress, a little black flitty number that came up to your knees and down close enough on your chest that when you leant over trying to get your breath he had to move away to resist the urge to stare at the swell of your breasts, instead coming to stand beside you and placing his hand on your back just to try and keep himself standing. You were so fuckin’ pretty, done your hair all up nice. He wanted to swivel you around, tuck you into his chest and nibble on the nape of your neck, put his nose in your hair and inhale as he flipped that silly little skirt over your rear, letting one hand wonder over your cheeks as he slid further down, cupping and probing, into the slick between your legs.

Christ on a cracker, he needed to get it together. He was behaving like Tommy at, well, prom.

‘Place looks great,’ he said, his voice slightly strangled. You gazed up at him, taking a second to comprehend his words.

‘Thanks, Ellie did amazing work with the stars,’ you said, and you knew he knew you were lying, and you also knew he was a good enough Dad that he was going to let you get away with it.

‘She certainly has her own style,’ Joel replied, eyeing one particularly wonky cutout you had strategically placed in a dark corner.

You turned to watch the kids dance, Ellie’s hair bouncing around her face as she twisted her hips, holding Mika’s hand as she did.

‘She’s really gravitated towards him,’ you commented, and you looked over at Joel just in time to see a cloud pass over his face.

‘He probably reminds her of…’ he said, but then he trailed off, recalibrated. ‘He’s a sweet kid, so it makes sense,’ he finished.

‘Oh, speaking of sweet, Billy loves having you on the wall,’ you said, smiling at him and watching him blush.

‘What do you mean?’ he asked, and you swore you could see genuine anxiety on his face.

‘Big Bad Joel Miller helping out? Billy getting to tell you what to do? He’s like a pig in shit.’

Joel could feel the heat on his cheeks and was powerless to stop it. ‘Big Bad Joel Miller,’ he echoed, feeling the words on his tongue, seeing how they tasted. ‘Not sure about that.’

‘You must know there are stories,’ you said, leaning into him a little, goading him a little, wanting to see if you could get him to crack and tell you something about himself.

‘Don’t pay any of that much mind,’ he said. ‘Don’t reckon any of ‘em are close to the truth.’

‘Well, no they can’t be,’ you agreed, quickly, feeling like the conversation was slipping from you and not really knowing why.

‘Not sure there are words for some of the shit I’ve…seen,’ he said, and he saw the shift in your face, the shock before you covered it, and he knew that he’d scared you a little, but there were things he didn’t want to talk about, shit that he’d had to do to get Ellie here, to get her to be able to forget the cost of it all. Big Bad Joel Miller. No one had any fucking clue.

He looked over at you, at the way you had sunk into yourself, and he cursed himself. You were too sweet, too warm, and he’d gone and thrown a wet rag on your fire. If you knew about him you wouldn’t want to be anywhere near him. He took a step back, too. You’d made him forget for a second, that he was no good to anyone. Especially not to someone like you.

You were lost in your thoughts, watching the kids again but not really seeing. It wasn’t even what Joel had said, although you felt the way he was pushing you away, and you went willingly. It was that as he spoke you realised, finally realised, what the feeling was that had been pulling at you all night.

You were fucking lonely. 14-year-old you might have been OK with the QZ stuff, with what you had to do to survive, with keeping your sister alive along as you could, with making sure her death meant something, even just until they cleared her body away. 14-year-old you might have even been OK with the teaching, although that would take some convincing. But the fact that you were alone, that you were nearing 40 and hadn’t ever really loved anyone other than your family, hadn’t ever really had anyone love you. OK, so you hadn’t married Jonathan Taylor Thomas, in the circumstances maybe for that you got a pass. But that you weren’t with anyone, that you had wanted love for yourself and never got it, that you had wanted to belong in that most specific way and you hadn’t, hadn’t ever really come home. 14-year-old you was screaming and howling and gnashing her teeth. You’d failed her, failed the both of you.

You were horrified to feel a tightness across your throat, the heat building behind your eyes. You needed to get away from all these people, needed to go and pity yourself in peace.

‘I just need some air,’ you said, barely above a whisper, pushing past Joel with your face turned away lest he see your eyes growing redder and wetter by the second.

‘Teach…’ he called after you, but you were gone, heading straight to the door, not seeing Ellie turn to follow Joel’s voice, to see you making a break for it, turning back to him with her hands in the air.

Joel felt his stomach drop, staring back at Ellie with panic written all over his face.

‘What did you do?’ she mouthed to him, and he shrugged, helpless. He’d pushed you away, had shut you down, had been rude and cruel and cold. But he had no idea how to mouth that to his teenage daughter across a dance floor. ‘GO AFTER HER’ Ellie whisper-screamed at him, and it jolted him, got his feet moving before he’d even given it another thought.

You were standing under the awning a couple of paces from the door, leaning on the railing and sucking in the chill of the air. You realised when you heard the door swing open that you’d cornered yourself, cursed yourself for getting all your years in the QZ.

‘Teach,’ he said, and you hung your head. ‘M’sorry, I didn’t mean to…’

‘Wasn’t you, wasn’t that, I just…I needed to breathe for a second.’

Joel paused, watching the way your shoulders rose and fell, sharp and insistent, as you gathered yourself.

He took a step forward towards you, saw the way you flinched and turned away, and stopped, deciding instead to sit on the steps, giving you space but not too much, distance but enough that he could reach out for you if you wanted him to.

‘I did a lot of things to get here,’ he said, after a while. The hair stood up on the back of your neck. ‘I ain’t ashamed of ‘em, I’d do ‘em all again to keep her safe, you understand?’ he asked, and you nodded, still with your back half-turned. ‘Never regretted getting her here, both of us, to safety and to family.’ You nodded again. You knew all of this, had lived all of this, but you didn’t stop him, couldn’t turn to look at him, just let him talk because you couldn’t think of a single thing to say. ‘What bothers me, Teach, is that Big Bad Joel Miller might be too old to do ‘em again.’

You felt a pull towards him, turned your body to peer at his face. He was staring down main street, avoiding looking at you, too.

‘What if I can’t keep her safe?’ he asked, almost to himself. You swallowed, moving towards him, sucked into his gravitational pull. As you sank down beside him on the step, he shuffled to make room for you, but you didn’t want distance, leaning further over so that your shoulders touched. He was so warm even in the chill of the night. You wanted him to take your hands and blow warm breath onto them, smile and put them on his chest to warm them even though the cold of your skin stung him.

‘She’s so capable, Joel,’ you said. ‘You did that. She’ll keep herself safe, soon.’

‘She’s just a kid,’ Joel said, but he wasn’t attacking, just stating a fact.

‘I wasn’t much older on outbreak day,’ you said, simply.

‘Lotsa girls her age weren’t so lucky,’ he replied, quiet.

Blood smattered all over a pink and purple tee-shirt. Curls caked in blood and mud. He swallowed.

‘I know that,’ you said, after a while. Joel watched your face. He saw that it was true, that you knew.

‘S’what was it, if it wasn’t me being so rude to ya?’ he asked, after a long silence that would have made his bones itch if he’d been sharing it with anyone else but you. You shied away a little, and he watched as you started to recede. ‘Hey,’ he said, reprising the conversation from the night at the kitchen table. ‘I want you to tell me what’s up,’ he said, and you smiled, faintly, recognising what he was doing.

‘Prom, I guess. Memories. I don’t know.’ You paused, tried to form the words. ‘It’s all about promise, isn’t it, being a kid and being in high school and doing all of these…rites of passages. There’s an assumption about how things will go. We all make ‘em, made ‘em. Guess it’s hard when they didn’t come true.’

Joel nodded. He wanted to pull you into his lap and rock you, gentle and soft in the night, feel your warm breath on his neck as you pushed your fingertips through the buttonholes of his shirt.

‘Most of the time I’m OK,’ you went on, trying to repair it, slink back under your shell, your slimy snail body suddenly exposed to the elements.

‘Everyone’s OK til they ain’t.’ Joel said. He turned to look at you, swivelled his body to yours so that your knees rested against his. His eyes were so deep and dark in the streetlights, his brows saddled as he petitioned you. ‘I don’t mind it, Teach. You can be all of it with me.’

You felt your heart gallop in your chest, heat suddenly in your belly.

‘So can you, Big Bad Joel Miller,’ you told him, smiling but earnest, wanting him to believe it was true. ‘I’ll take whatever you got,’ you said.

There was a moment, Joel knew, when he could pull back from it. That this was that moment, when he could turn away from you, could crack a joke or make some excuse to head back inside. Could get up and bolt for the gate, swing it open and face whatever demons were out in the darkness so as not to have to face his own. He knew this was the moment of no return, for him.

He looked down at your lips, painted red for prom and so soft, so plump. Your skin soft and glowing so gently in the light. How many more times was he going to have to resist you by porchlight? How many times could he?

‘Joel…’ you whispered, edging yourself closer to him, leaning in without even really thinking about it, watching him mirror you and Joel knew the moment had passed, that your little whimper of his name was branded on his chest, that he would parade it around town for you, would bare it to anyone who wanted to lay their claim.

Your hair was soft, so soft, in his palms as he pulled you into him, his lips crashing into yours, your mouth opening to welcome him, tongue dancing across his. He groaned, from deep down in his belly, for the want of it, for the way his tummy flipped at his first taste of you.

You were pretty sure you were dead. It was the only explanation. But if this was heaven then so fucking be it, because Joel was cupping your face in his hands, and his kiss was insistent and gentle and he was guiding you through it, teasing you open as you felt the hinge of your jaw creak under the pressure of your want for him. You weren’t sure you were breathing. You weren’t sure you cared.

He was pulling you closer, wrapping his arms around your back and pulling you into him, the weird angle meaning both sets of knees were in the way. You considered vaulting over the top of him, riding him on the steps of the mess hall while a bunch of teenagers supposedly under your charge danced under paper stars, but you had the wherewithal to hold back, to pry yourself from him, to lean your forehead on his and catch your breath.

Granted, you didn’t have a lot of experience. But you’d never had a kiss that felt like that.

‘Teach,’ Joel said, so quiet and just for you, and you could hear that he was out of breath, that his chest was heaving, that he was fighting it back just as hard as you. He lifted his head and gazed at you, the look of naked desire on his face such that you wanted it to be photographed, painted, hung in a gallery and studied by future generations.

Then, alarms. And yes, you thought, that felt about right. Everything had just shifted off its axis, after all, it made sense that the universe was now screaming.

Except it sounded weirdly familiar. Kind of like the one that you pulled when there was a problem at the gate.

You turned your head down main street as you saw the flood lights come on. You were up, Joel just behind you, as you and your little swishy dress headed towards it, front doors ripping open around you, men and women pulling on jackets over their pyjamas, arming themselves for war.

‘State your business!’ you heard Billy yell from the top of the gate, his rifle trained at a hard angle just beneath him. Jesus, they were close, you realised. Nearly right up on the iron.

You couldn’t hear the reply, vaulting up the ladder without thinking, without a weapon, leaving Joel to defend the gate.

‘State your business!’ Billy called again, and you came up beside him, peeping over the edge to report back on what you could see. There were three of them, that you could see from here. You scanned the treeline, the floodlights turning the trees into fingers scratching harsh at the night sky.

‘Where they come from, Billy?’ you asked, and he gestured with his head over to the right. You picked up the binoculars and scanned.

‘Can’t see any others,’ you reported back, going to the other side and holding up three fingers to the crowd.

‘We’re just passing through,’ the man called back, ‘saw your lights and thought…we’re injured.’

‘Injured how?’ Billy called. You could hear murmuring beneath you, a plan being hatched.

‘One of us is a woman. We were ambushed. They took everything we have, nearly took her but she got away.’

You peered down over the gate, could see that a woman was indeed holding her arm in a sling, her face pale. She was wavering, like she was ready to collapse.

You heard footsteps on the ladder, felt it sway the wall as Tommy appeared beside you.

‘Whatdya reckon?’ he asked you, his eyes focussed but his breath coming in short and fast.

‘They’re telling the truth so far,’ you said, ‘best I can tell.’

You stepped out of the way, Tommy taking your place at the wall while Billy stayed fixed, his gun unwavering from the strangers.

You heard a gasp, a kind of choking shock. ‘No fucking way,’ Tommy said, and you peered over his shoulder again, trying to figure out what he could see. ‘Shauna?’ he called down, the woman’s face snapping up to him, a shaky hand covering her eyes to make him out.

‘Tommy?’ she asked, as though she was dead and found herself at the gates of heaven, surprisingly less gilded than expected. You swallowed, saw Billy’s hold on the gun waver.

‘Open the gates!’ Tommy called, before turning back to the strangers. ‘Hands up and come forward slowly, I’ll meet you there.’

‘Who is that, Tommy?’ you asked him, grabbing at him as he made to hurry past.

‘It’s Shauna,’ he said, his face pale and disbelieving. ‘Where’s Joel?’

‘Who the fuck is Shauna?’ you asked, every nerve ending screaming.

‘She’s Sarah’s mom,’ he said, before he disappeared down the ladder, calling for Joel as he went.

‘Who the fuck is Sarah?’ Billy said to you, his gun lowered but eyeballing the group all the same.

You had no idea.

Taglist (let me know if you want to be on it)

@harriedandharassed

@vickie5446

@kaseyconnour

@orcasoul

@missladym1981

@spacesoutdaydreamer

@tangled-tumbler-blog-blog

@fancyyoouu

@anoverwhelmingdin

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x you #pedro pascal fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal #joel miller smut #tlou fanfiction #tlou fanfic #joel tlou #joel miller x female reader

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eternal-kosmo-ghoul · 1 year ago

Note

AS MY TREAT I WANT THE MOST SILLY, GOOFY AAA HCS OF THE PAPA'S.

Like idk Copia used to have to wear earplugs because Terzo snores so loudly it's literally obnoxious or something like that.

“aww my middle finger likes you”

❤︎ synopsis — this is pure bullshittery and crack in its finest form with the papas. they can be a little crazy at times

pairing: all papa emeritus’ x gn!reader (can be platonic or romantic)

theme: crack ✦ , fluff ✿ (if you squint)

a/n: this is a toast to my bestie for being an absolute chad. i was high making these, enjoy.

cw: terzo is a warning enough on his own. that’s it.

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➵ papa primo

he’s the oldest so he constantly has to deal with the shit from his psychopathic brothers

like— primo is basically THE mom friend, except he’s the mom for moe, larry and curly over here

(moe, larry and curly being secondo, terzo and copia)

he constantly had to hold back secondo from beating the shit out of terzo because terzo made fun of him for being bald

“I’M GONNA RIP OFF YOUR WEAVE—“ “SECONDO NO—“

bro unironically listens to weezer

like full out busting down a just dance move to this music

you once caught him dancing to it, and he stood there frozen like the man emoji

he told you to never speak of it again and you just nodded, trying to plague your mind of that horrendous image

primo cannot cook for shit too btw

you were once out and asked him to make something before you got home to the ministry

the minute you walked in the door, the kitchen stove was on fire and all of primo’s ghouls were running around and screaming in infernal about the fire

meanwhile, primo stood there not knowing what to do, looking like the man emoji AGAIN

it’s basically his trademark at this point

“…. primo what the absolute fuck—“ “it wasn’t me i swear.”

while primo’s ghouls were still learning english, he once said “fuck you” to you in a very sarcastic way

but the ghouls thought it was how humans said “hello” in english

so they went around to the other siblings of sin, and sister imperator saying “fuck you” to them while leaving all those poor people offended and dumbfounded

you smacked the back of his head after that and forced him to apologize to his ghouls and to the siblings of sin (plus imperator of course)

and he gave the ghouls extra scritches too

primo also has the dad sneeze

like he can send another universe to the next tomorrow with his goofy ass sneeze

he once sneezed so loud he scared copia and caused him to bang his head on the wall

it was kinda funny tbh

anyways yeah note to self stay 10000 feet away from primo if he’s on the verge of sneezing

it’ll save your life

┅✦┅

➵ papa secondo

secondo has two moods

“oh my satan you’re all so stupid i literally hate you all” and “tee hee i’m a girly girl”

like ??? what’s this guy on???

this guy has the sass of a high school history teacher

like secondo’s being so deadass about whatever he’s saying but he’s always fucking saying it like—

“c’mon now, you literally have the style of a hairless roach 💅”

it confuses you a lot of the time, really

secondo has his moments where he’s sweet, but for the most part he’s pulling up the middle finger to everyone he sees

it’s a habit

someone could say hi to him in the nicest way possible and he’ll just grumble and flip them off

it’s not even that he’s trying to be mean, it’s a habit (a very bad habit)

you once got tired of it and smacked his hand, when he flipped you off. so it’s safe to say he no longer does it

at least to you

secondo is an absolute menace to his brothers

with primo he’s chill because he’s the eldest, but with the younger two he’s got no chill

definitely made copia cry at some point during his younger years

he later got his ass chewed out by you and primo, because no one makes copia cry

secondo’s literally so bossy it’s kinda funny

he’s always one flip flop away from smacking someone every time someone pisses him off

him and terzo are BEEFING all the time

and it’s over the stupidest shit too

“you’re stupid.” “well, you’re face is stupid” “you’re both stupid, end of the discussion.”

you once switched out all of his skull face paint for a pink barbie pallet

so secondo was walking around lookin’ like hello kitty emeritus and everyone was trying so hard not to laugh

even his ghouls were struggling too

“… secondo—“ “not. another. word.”

┅✦┅

➵ papa terzo

bro’s the fuckin’ definition of fruity

you thought secondo was girly pop?? wait ‘till you see terzo, he’s fucking extravagant

will literally show up in the grocery store lookin’ like a character ripped straight from criminal minds

like— he has to make a show EVERYWHERE he goes. he likes to stand out

terzo is also the type of man to wear skirts and dresses because he knows he’s hot shit and he devours every fit he puts together

he shows off that waist frfr

“… terzo what the fuck—“ “shut up you know i’m sexy and i’m going to show it.”

if you wear skirts or dresses he’ll definitely ask to borrow them

he definitely passed down his fruitiness to copia

and to his ghouls

he scams kids on adopt me and has a good laugh every time because he likes to see people get mad at him since he stole their hella expensive pet from them

primo told him to quit it because what kind of satanic pope scams poor little children on a roblox game?

as stylish as terzo is, he cannot do his hair and makeup to save his life

he’ll usually ask you to do it for him wherever he has to perform or do public events, which is why his face paint is simple compared to secondo and primo

it gives you two bonding time though and it’s cute

he once watched the pinkie pie smile hd video and was traumatized for a few days

like he straight up locked himself in his room and would not come out unless you convinced him to do so

during an after party after a concert ritual, he got so wasted and almost kissed omega

like you had to PRY this man off of the poor ghoul, while omega stood there unaffected (hehe tall buff demon boy)

terzo is the shortest emeritus and none of his brothers will let him live it down

ESPECIALLY copia, since he’s younger than him

terzo almost kicked him in the nuts because of that

but that definitely was a stab to his already massive ego

you reassured him that there’s nothing wrong with his height even though you found some of the jokes his brothers made funny

live laugh love terzo

┅✦┅

➵ papa copia

copia doesn’t know what he’s doing half of the time

like he’s just given a mic and he just wings a performance while the ghouls on stage are fucking around and going absolutely feral

out of all the papas, copia legitimately treats his ghouls like his own kids

he feels like he’s getting more grey hairs every time he has to stop swiss from fucking his own guitar, or sodo and phantom from fighting about cheese sticks

you sometimes help copia do ghoul-sitting and it’s just chaos. you’re literally their second parent

copia and you = parent duo for the era iv ghouls

he unironically owns a lot of funko pops

and he keeps the one of himself on a special pedestal in a glass case for safe keeping

though secondo almost once knocked over the case and he was three seconds away from smiting a bitch

you once were looking for copia because you wanted to ask him something and you found him in a ritual room

except the ritual was that he surrounded himself with a bunch of rat plushies and he was on his knees in front of a picture of a rat with a tiny crown

you were so confused, and he refuses to acknowledge what that was

“…. copia i—“ “you didn’t see anything.”

he fucking washes himself with dish soap and laundry detergent

this man is going around smelling like dawn dish soap and it’s so weird

it’s not that it even smells bad??? it just smells so interesting and strong you swear you’re in a fever dream

copia is an avid mitski fan

definitely cried his eyes out like a little bitch when he first listened to “the land is inhospitable and so are we” because he couldn’t get over how sad “my love mine all mine was”

radiates theater kid energy

but like— the kind of theater kid that is just passionate about theater and is very giddy when people ask about it

when he started his first meeting as papa he got so nervous that he straight up started the meeting with the word “mushroom”

like it’s so random ??? but it made the ghouls and you giggle so it somewhat worked out ??

copia is a little silly

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#ghost bc #ghost fanfiction #papa emeritus x reader #papa x reader #papa primo #papa secondo #papa terzo #papa copia #copia x reader #terzo x reader #primo x reader #secondo x reader #crack fic #crack headcanons #ghost bc crack #the band ghost #ghost x reader #ghost bc x reader

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holdmytesseract · 1 year ago

Note

Ohh well hello there bestie ✌️ My request for you is…

Will Ransome having to visit London and attend a party where he meets Reader and they share a dance (and maybe more 😏).

Hearts Aflame

Will Ransome x fem!Reader

Summary: Will gets invited to London for the engagment party of a very good friend. What happens when he meets you again after ten long years?

Warnings: thirst, suggestive smut, mentions of alcohol, age gap, fluff?

Word Count: 3,8k

a/n: It was so much fun to write for Will again. I hope you are going to like this, bestie! 🫡 Thanks for the request! 💖

Tags: @lady-rose-moon @muddyorbsblr @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @jennyggggrrr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @evelyn-kingsley @vanilla-daydreaming @loz-3 @fictive-sl0th @lovingchoices14 @lokidbadguy @icytrickster17 @lulubelle814 @mandywholock1980 @november-rayne @chantsdemarins @simping-for-marvel @lou12346789 @lokiforever @multifandom-worlds @hisredheadedgoddess28 @vbecker10 @jaidenhawke @km-ffluv @crimson25 @cakesandtom @buttercupcookies-blog @salvinaa @javagirl328 @dustychinchilla74 @frzntrx @coldnique

Masterlist °☆• Hiddles Masterlist

It was a rather cold autumn day in Aldwinter. Dark rain clouds hung all over the sky; ready to let the rain pour, causing Will Ransome - vicar of the cosy, little village to make bigger steps towards his home. He had taken the dog on a walk and was now fleeting from a threatening downpour, looming in the sky. The vicar's chocolate brown Cocker Spaniel had to run, in order to keep up with his master's big steps.

"Come on, Pup, come on. I don't want to get wet - and you neither. I know you."

But unfortunately, the weather didn't show mercy on them. It literally started to rain pitchforks, when the duo was only a few minutes away from their home. Hence, Will was already able to see it in distance. Nevertheless, it didn't help. Just like the running. When they reached the small house, dog and owner were soaked to the skin; clothes and fur literally dripping.

As fast as somehow possible, Will unlocked the door to let himself and Pup in. The moment the wooden door fell into its hinges, the vicar threw his coat on the coat hook to dry and immediately hurried to get a towel, before Pup could- Too late. Will was sprinting down the stairs; towel in hands as he witnessed how the dog shook off the water, causing the droplets to land everywhere. Will sighed in defeat, shook his head and made his way over towards the Cocker Spaniel. "You couldn't wait for another second, could you?" Pup just huffed and looked at him apologetically. "You are a bad boy sometimes, but I love you nonetheless, you fluffy little creature."

After rubbing the Cocker Spaniel's fur completely dry with the towel and also cleaning up the water on the floor, Will went upstairs to the bathroom, in order to get dry himself.

He unbuttoned his wet shirt first, then slid the suspenders off his shoulders, so that he could take off the usually puffy garment as well; leaving his torso bare. After getting rid of his brown trousers as well, he went to rub his long, blonde-brown curls dry, just like his whole body. Once that was done, he slipped in fresh clothes and decided to head back downstairs, where his faithful dog waited for him - with a piece of paper in his mouth?

Will frowned and squatted down; "What do you have here, buddy?" and took it from Pup's mouth. It was a letter - like the vicar recognised. A letter from someone he hadn't heard of in a long time... An old friend from London. Henry Carter. They used to be best friends; even went to school together. Will spent the most of his youth with him. But someday their ways parted, when Henry decided to become a lawyer and Will a man of God.

With a smile and full of anticipation, the vicar sat down on his little sofa and opened the letter.

Greetings, my old friend!

I sincerely hope that you do remember me. After all, it's been quite a few years since the last time we saw each other. Just know that I never forgot you - and with this letter, I would like to invite you to my engagement party. Yes, you read that right, my friend. I found a lovely, wonderful woman, who is very eager to meet you. So, if you have the time, my fiancee and I would be overjoyed to welcome you in London next Saturday.

I hope to see you soon,

Henry Carter

Will's smile widened, as he put the letter back inside the envelope. Oh he'd certainly go to London next weekend.

A week later, the vicar's feet touched, indeed, London ground again - since years. He didn't want to admit it, but it felt good to leave Aldwinter for a while. Even if it was just two days. It was a break he didn't know he needed.

At the train station, he was already awaited. By a man Will only knew too well - and a strange woman who stood beside him. The man smiled brightly as soon as he recognised the vicar and met him on the way.

"Will?" Henry asked; quite a bit surprised. Will smiled and started to nod as well. "Hello, old friend." A breathless laugh left the lawyer's lips, before he went to hug his school friend; clapping him on the shoulder. William returned the gesture, of course; was just as happy.

"You've changed, Will!" Henry stated, after paying his appearance a closer look. "I did?" "Yes! Look at you! You've grown! You were always tall, but never that... muscly... Even got a beard now! And your hair is way longer than in my memories." Will chuckled at his friend's assessments. "Well, I suppose I have... But you, my friend, you didn't change at all!" That caused the man to chuckle along Will, before they both went silent for a moment.

"It's so great to have you here and see you again. There've been times where I thought I'd probably never see you again, but here you are..." "That thought crossed my mind a few times, too, my friend. I wanted to write you a letter and somehow contact you, but I didn't know where you lived now. Still with your parents? Perhaps not even in London anymore... I didn't know."

Henry placed a hand on Will's shoulder. "You couldn't. I stayed at my parents for another year, but then... Then I met her." The lawyer turned and looked at the woman, who still stood a few meters away from the reunited friends; smiling softly. "Come on, I want you to meet Eva." The men smiled at each other, before they both made their way over to said woman.

"Eva, darling... Let me finally introduce you to Mr. William Ransome." Henry gestured at Will, "Will... This is my beautiful fiancee Eva." then at Eva. Will smiled and stretched out his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Eva." She took his hand and allowed the vicar to bestow a decent kiss on the skin of her hand - a gentleman to the core. "The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Ransome." "Will... Please call me Will."

The remaining afternoon was spent with Henry and Eva showing Will around in their quite big house, letting the vicar unpack his things and teatime, of course. A lot of conversations were shared. When the wedding is, how the couple met and so on. For Will, it was about getting to know the woman his dear friend married - just like it was for Eva to get to know her future husband's friend.

In the evening, after dinner, Will and Henry decided to go to a local bar, in order to celebrate their reunion. Despite that, they still had quite some catching up to do.

Now they were seated in the bar; both with a glass of beer in hands. "So... Tell me, friend... How is Aldwinter?" Will smiled. "Well... It's a small, cosy village. The people are great. I love to live there and being a vicar. I came to think that this was what Aldwinter needed... A vicar. The people trust me and I appreciate that a lot." Henry nodded and smiled as well, "That's great to hear, honestly." before he took a sip of his beer.

"Do you have a own house or do you live in the church?" "It's 'just' a chapel and too small to live in. I have a own little house. You can come visit sometime. You and Eva of course, if you'd like to." "Sure, why not. We'd love to." Henry paused for a moment; let Will drink some of his beer as well, before he fired the next question at him.

"A little house... And you live there... alone?" Will noticed immediately what Henry was insisting. It wasn't quite subtle. The vicar looked down; fingers nervously tapped against the glass of beer. "Yes, I... I live there alone - with my little dog, Pup."

Opposite him, Henry raised an eyebrow - unbeknownst to Will. "No woman?" His friend shook his head. "N-No." The lawyer copied his gesture. "How is that possible, William? When I think back to our youth - our time in school, almost every lady had laid her eyes upon you. They would've all wanted you. You can't tell me that this has changed." He stated; drinking again.

Will shrugged his shoulders; gaze lifting again. "I really don't know, Henry, I... I just haven't found the right woman yet. But I trust in god to send her my way when the time comes." Henry reached over to clap his friend on the shoulder. "Well, I trust in that too, then. Just know that you are not getting younger. It's time for you settle down, you know..." "I do know, yes..."

Silence spread between the two man; both of them thinking about the exchanged words for a moment. A small laugh left Henry's lips then. "I can't quite believe I reached this milestone before you." Will couldn't help but to chuckle as well. "Me neither, honestly."

The two friends continued to talk about anything and everything, until one specific topic suddenly came up... You.

"Who else did you have invited for the celebration who I might know?" Will asked with a smile. "Other old school friends?" Henry shook his head. "No, I didn't. Apologies. My parents would've loved to come, but they said they're feeling too old for such a party. I accepted their wish to not attend." He paused; took a sip of his beer. "I think the only other person you know is my little sister, Y/N. Do you remember her?"

Will's eyes widened at the mention of your name. Of course, he remembered you! He had seen you often back when he was younger and hanging out with Henry. Will always thought of you as Henry's sweet, little sister - since you had been still a child. Well... A very young woman, to say it right. The vicar quickly calculated in his head. He was about twenty-two that time. Henry was just as old and you... You were fourteen, which means that you were now... twenty-four. A grown woman.

"Yes, yes, of course I remember her. She was still very young back then." Henry nodded with a chuckle. "She was, indeed... But not anymore. She has grown, my friend. She's not that sweet, innocent girl anymore... Y/N's a woman now. You're not going to believe your eyes when you see her again. I bet you won't even recognize her." Will smiled; drank the last sip of his beer. "That is most likely going to happen. After all, it's been ten years..."

Henry should be proven right...

A sigh left your lips, as you grabbed another glass of champagne, before you hid yourself in one of the corners; exchanging several more fake smiles on your way there.

You were bored. Utterly bored.

It wasn't like you didn't want to be here, at your big brother's engagement party, no, but the problem was that you knew everybody here and had talked at least twice to all the people. Too many familiar faces - and the most of them not your age.

You barely finished to think that thought, when your eyes suddenly spotted a strange man in the crowd. You narrowed your eyes; gaze sticking on him as he got greeted by your brother. He was tall. Way taller than Henry. His hair was long and curly; coloured in blonde-brown. His cheekbones were high and sharp - like you could tell. A soft scruff was covering his cheeks and chin, and you could swear that he had blue eyes. You bit your lip. That guy probably was the most handsome man you had ever seen.

Now you were intrigued. Henry owed you some explanations. From where did he know that tuxedo clad gentleman?

As if Henry heard your thoughts, you could see him making his way over to you - and he seemed to be very excited. You could tell.

"Y/N!" He called out your name in a cheery voice. "Y/N, you have to see someone!" Henry grabbed both your hands; smiling brightly. You lifted an eyebrow, "Is it your mysterious new friend you kept from me?" and nodded towards the man, who was currently talking to Eva.

Henry followed your gaze - and started to laugh. "He's not my mysterious new friend I kept from you. In fact, you know him. Very well might I add." You frowned; were quite a bit confused now. Sure, you thought he looked somehow familiar, but played it off as a coincidence. Now, after your brother's words, though... But from where could you know- "Do you remember my childhood friend Will? William Ransome? Well..."

Your eyes widened the moment those words left your brother's lips and for a short moment, you felt like fainting, as your heart rate sped up. "You are fooling me, brother! This is Will?!" Henry laughed once more; nodding. "I kid you not, sister." He turned around to Will, shouting: "Hey, Will! Would you come over, please?"

Will's head turned with a smile, and before he walked over to join you and your brother, he politely ended the conversation he had with Eva.

Your heart threatened to burst inside of your chest, as you watched the tall man stepping closer - and when he spoke your name, everything froze in time around you. "Y/N..." His voice sounded exactly like you remembered it. Deep, yet smooth like velvet. Being the gentleman he was, the vicar stretched out his palm for you to take. Wordlessly, you complied; placed your hand in his and letting him brush a soft kiss on your knuckles. Your knees almost buckled.

"It's has been such a long time, I... I don't know what to say! It is a pleasure to see you again." Will's gaze met yours, causing you to get lost in his eyes; drowning helplessly in those oceanic blues. Up close, he was even more handsome. What an attractive man he had become... You definitely needed a moment to recover.

"I find myself being just as stunned, Will. It is great to see you as well. After all, it has been over ten years!"

Henry left you and Will alone to talk then; having other guests to tend to as well. And while you talked about how your life had been in all those past years, Will wasn't able to tear his gaze apart from you...

You've aged - but in the best way possible. Henry had been right. You weren't the young girl anymore he used to know. You had grown into the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Countless conversations and another glass of champagne later, Will had asked you to dance with him and how could you say no to that? How could you deny him this wish? You gladly accepted; feeling all the old feelings you had harboured for this man in your youth reappear. Everything you thought you had buried deep within you re-emerged; causing your heart to beat faster whenever he looked at you. It was like not even a day had passed since you last saw the vicar. Like the time had just stopped for the both of you. There was a tension between you and Will. A sizzle. A spark; ready to burst into flames at any moment. It was thrilling. Exciting. And yet also a bit intimidating.

It was already late at night, when you decided to bid your goodbye and leave. Will, being the gentleman he was, offered to accompany you home - something Henry was very grateful for. A young lady walking home alone in the dead of the night through the streets of London? Unacceptable.

In what Henry and probably also Will saw a kind favour, you saw a chance. Perhaps the only chance you'd get before life ripped Will out of your sight once more...

"There we are..." You announced; stopping in front of a tall, slightly decayed brick house. The dim street lamps didn't provide enough light to illuminate the whole street, but enough that you were able to make out the handsome features of the man standing in front of you in his black tuxedo.

"That is the house you are living in?" You nodded with a smile. "Yes, it is." Will shook his head, as a soft chuckle rumbled through his chest. "It's so much bigger than the little cottage I live in." You had to giggle as well. "Well... London isn't Aldwinter, Mr. Ransome - and besides, I don't live alone in here. There are several apartments." Will's cheeks reddened slightly. You could tell. "Right, of course. Apologies." You just smiled at him, before an unpleasant silence spread over the both of you. The tension was still there. Just like the spark; setting almost the night air aflame. You better make a move now or let him walk out of your life once more - perhaps for all times, a voice in your mind whispered; urging you on. Probably it was your heart speaking to you.

You took a step back and leaned against the wooden main door; crossing your arms behind your back.

Will noticed the shift in your demeanour immediately; gaze stuck on your face for a long moment, before he literally forced himself to look away.

"Y/N... Don't..." His words were nothing more than a whisper.

"Whatever do you mean?" You retorted; innocence swinging within your voice.

Will shook his head softly. "Don't look at me like that. Please, don't give me those eyes." You bit your lip; releasing a hand from behind your back to slowly place it on the vicar's chest. "Why?" You breathed; toying with the buttons of his pristine white shirt.

Will swallowed hard. "Be-Because it's wrong. We... We shouldn't do..." Before he could finish his sentence, you had pulled him towards you; his feet following your command. His words died in his throat, when he watched your soft, plump lips inching closer to his - until the contact was inevitable. Your warm lips caught his in a hesitant - almost shy kiss.

Unfortunately, it ended way too soon, as you pulled back after a mere few seconds; leaving him aching for more. Will didn't even notice how he was chasing after your lips in a desperate attempt to keep them locked to his. And nevertheless, his mind was still trying to talk sense into him. "... do this." He ended the sentence in which you had interrupted him oh so rudely.

You could hear how hard he swallowed. "We... We shouldn't, Y/N." Will reasoned; gently taking your hand in his bigger one. You watched his palm swallow yours whole, as he moved your hand away from his chest. The moment he dropped your hand caused a cold shiver to run down your spine; followed by an aching pain. You didn't want to loose his touch. Ever again.

You shook your head; hand hovering over his chest once more. "Why, William?" The vicar took a deep breath. "You... You are the little sister of my best friend and-" "And?" "And you are so much younger than I am. You're a precious flower; not meant for me. I... I don't want to ruin you."

"What if I want you to ruin me?"

Your feelings and desire for the older man opposite you spoke faster than your brain was able to react.

Will blinked; clearly couldn't believe your words. "W-What?"

"Will... You were the first boy I fell in love with; ten years back. At first I thought it was foolish and youthful behaviour of my body, but then... Then you'd come around to spend time with my brother and... And I knew it wasn't. I had fallen head over heels for the best friend of Henry. Of course, I was way too shy and young to tell you. It was my secret." Will's eyes had widened; oceanic blues looking at you. Stunned.

"When you left, I buried my feelings for you. I thought they would stay buried, but when I saw you again, today... You already ruined me for every other man to come, Will." Shock and disbelief was written all over the vicar's face. He hadn't expected this to happen. Not at all. He didn't know. How could he?

"I have always wanted you." Those words were again merely above a whisper, but they urged to his ears nevertheless. Again, you let your palm rest on his chest; feeling his heart beat rapidly against his chest. Will gasped at the combination of your words and touch. He still couldn't quite believe it - and the rational part of his brain still tried to appeal to his conscience.

"Y/N, it..." He started to shake his head once more. "It wouldn't have been right. You were not even fifteen! It would've been wrong! For us to love each other and for me to take such a young woman's innocence!" Will inhaled deeply; running a hand through his hair. "By god, I... I was twenty-two! Don't you see how wrong it was?! How wrong it still is?!"

You honestly didn't understand what his problem was. It may have been wrong ten years back, but now?

"That may be right, Will, but..." You let your hand linger on his left pec for a moment, before you let your palm travel lower. And lower. And lower. Will's oceanic blue eyes followed your every move; widening when your hand settled on the zipper of his black trousers. "... you can take it now. I'm not a young girl anymore. I am a grown woman. Please... Don't deny me."

Your words send a shiver down Will's spine. A warm - almost hot shiver. The ends of his nerves sizzled and he could clearly feel the arousal start to grow within the pit of his stomach. Especially when he looked at your lust blown eyes; sparkling underneath the dim light under the street lamp.

Then you undid the zipper - and he felt a throb; something undeniably twitching alive. How... How in the Lord's name was he supposed to resist this temptation?

The answer to this question was found quickly... "Please, Will... Please..." You almost whispered; eyes full of desire, love - and want.

He couldn't.

Shaking hands reached for hips; pulling you swiftly closer. You stumbled against his chest - and before you knew what was happening, you felt Will's lips upon yours. This kiss was anything but innocent. It was fierce, passionate, demanding.

Somehow, you managed to open the main door and together you stumbled inside the house; lips - and hearts intertwined.

The world around the vicar stopped to spin when you sank together in the deepest oceans of pleasure. All he could feel was you.

#will ransome #the essex serpent #will ransome x reader #will ransome x you #will ransome x y/n #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston characters

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symphonic-scream · 3 months ago

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I have more of the Okujima Fake Dating thing

(summary; Makoto and Haru are uni roommates (and friends w/ benefits but that's not something they address) and to avoid her relatives finding her a partner, Haru lies and tells them she's gay (not a lie) and has a girlfriend she's serious with (mega lie))

Like. Makoto takes this job so seriously

She asks Haru for the guest list and photos so she can remember who is who and she studies, and by the time they arrive she's figured out which relatives to bow to, or shake hands, or offer a fist bump

Haru: you didn't have to do all that,

Makoto: any partner of yours should put in this much effort. Otherwise, they're not worthy of calling you theirs

The room booked for them has one bed, a real nice shower, and a jet tub. They go to bath houses together with their friends, so it's not as awkward as either assumed when they spend a night soaking in the tub together, jets turned on the lowest setting. It's even less awkward when they share the bed, since, well, they've done worse. And besides, Haru has learned over the last two years that she's hella touch starved and has abandonment issues, and Makoto? A very cuddly sleeper. It's, almost like they were designed to work well together (ehe)

Haru's relatives also adore Makoto. Both as a person, and for Haru. They all met Haru after her dad died, before she went off and made friends in uni. They met sad high school Haru. And she's so different from the lady in front of them, not hiding the little snort in her laughter as one of her cousins close to her age teaches Makoto a goofy dance, and she makes it look sillier with how stiff and awkward she is

Haru's cousins from her aunt are three boys. One is married with two kids, one is getting married, and one is her age. The middle and youngest get along with her best, the youngest being a musician, the middle a dancer, and the oldest a gym teacher, former athlete

She's got twin cousins from Uncle 1, her mom's twin. Both just younger than her. A boy, who's going to be an aerospace engineer, and a girl, who wants to be a lawyer. Overly smart little seniors

And uncle two? Two daughters. One older, one younger. The older one is married and about to have a son, and the younger one just started a business ethics degree

There are two more aunts. One, married no kids, the other? Single as hell

Haru's grandparents are there too, and they love Makoto so much. They missed out on so much of Haru's life cause they lost contact with their daughter after she married Kunikazu, and, they're just happy to see she found someone that's as respectful and loving as Makoto

Makoto: do you think your family would mind if I wore a suit?

Haru: nope. My aunt is gay, after all. Her wife will be wearing one too

Makoto: seriously? That's so cool!

Haru: mm! They're the mothers of the groom, so you'll see plenty of them this trip

Makoto: amazing,

Oldest cousin: hey, Haru? Can you watch these two for a moment? I have to go talk to my Mama

Haru: oh- Uhm, okay?

Makoto: here, hand me the little one. Hey, bud

Haru: *gay staring*

By the wedding itself they're fully together. Acting the exact same, but they acknowledge why they stare at each other so tenderly

They'd call the others, their friends from uni, from time to time

The opening of it would be Haru having to admit she fucked up to her bestie Ryuji, and Ann

All head in arms, asking either of them to help her out and Ryuji says he would but he's not exactly a gal, and Ann is spending the summer with her fiancee in Europe, checking out venues for a wedding

Ryuji: why don't you ask Makoto? She's single, and your roommate. It'd be way less awkward than asking anyone else

Haru, not willing to admit the "Friends with Benefits" thing: ...do I really have no other option??

Ann: there's Futaba-

Haru: ugh. I'll ask Mako-chan,

Makoto keeps panic calling Joker or Yusuke after things on the trip like: DOES THIS MEAN SHE LIKES ME??? DO I LIKE HARU?? SEND AN AMBULANCE SHE KISSED ME AND IT FELT REAL I THINK IM DYING

At one point Goro picks up and just growls at her to "woman up, go the hell to sleep, or die. Whichever I don't care stop calling my boyfriend at 2 am"

No weird jealousy plot either just. Them realizing on their own

Like. The way Haru asks, too

She comes home, finds Makoto cooking and humming, a box from the campus bakery on the table, and Haru knows her roommate picked up her favourites, probably just because she *noticed* how off she's been, and. She knows Ryuji is right. Makoto is the best choice to help her with this fuck up,

She walks up behind her, wraps her arms around her hips, grunts in a way that's nearly a whine, plants her head between those strong shoulder blades

"Hey, welcome home, Haru. How was your day? You had your advanced statistics class today, right?"

"Mm. Mako-chan, I, have to ask for your help."

"What's up? Oh, is it that time? I can get the hot water bottle, run out to get more pain meds for you-"

"I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend."

...

"Huh? Haru, what-"

"My cousin is getting married. And, I may have lied to my grandparents, about dating someone, so they wouldn't try to set me up with someone. And, they want to meet her. The tickets and hotel are paid for already, just, I don't want to have to tell them I lied,,"

"Well, I wasn't planning to go anywhere but visit my sister, so I'm free for it."

"What."

"Yeah, tell me the details after dinner? The ramen is nearly done."

Makoto is secretly having a mini panic attack inside

She texts Yusuke later like "I CANT SAY MUCH BUT GOD IM GAY"

And Yusuke just texts back a photo a counter on his wall that reads "Makoto says she's gay; 1026"

The wedding is in Okinawa, where the bride is from, so they have to bring bathing suits for the beach, and, Haru does ask Makoto to help her pick which one to bring

Makoto sits there, face red, hands digging into her knees as Haru makes comments about one of them maybe making her look more chubby, maybe she should stick to a one piece-

Makoto: you're gorgeous. Every part of you. If you like how it looks on you, screw what anyone says

Haru: ...but. do you like it?

(Reminder. They are "Just Friends")

Makoto coughs a bit, looks away: y-yeah. I like it,

Haru: ...LETS PRACTICE KISSING

Makoto: R-RIGHT

Makoto *was* wearing her bathing suit top and swim shorts. Haru did get a chance to admire her muscular thighs in the shorts. She's a sucker for how muscular her roommate is

Just. When they get home and have to tell all their friends they're dating now and

Morgana, Joker's little brother, age 16: YOU WERENT TOGETHER???

Just. Man. How they were just naturally domestic from the start, and how naturally being affectionate comes to both of them, but differently than with their other friends, and

Makoto: hey, since we're "dating", does that mean I have to tell you I've slept with Ann?

Haru: you WHAT

Makoto: it was over a year ago! And Shiho knew and agreed to it!

Haru: you SLEPT WITH ANN TOO?!

Makoto: TOO?!

and they both laugh, cause they've known this, it's a bit they do, and Haru nestles back under Makoto's chin, and they go back to snuggling. They're in Makoto's bed in their apartment. It's later the night Haru asked, and, okay yeah they maybe did *it* again, but. Things feel weirdly right between them as they lie there together, softly talking out the details of the plan

Like. There's a reason so many people already thought they were dating, and why it sells so perfectly to Haru's family

I'm attached to this already dear lord

#makoto niijima #haru okumura #okujima #fake dating au

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bucketspammer4life · 1 year ago

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☆ how the boxers were as children ☆

Hey besties, sorry for dissapearing i was busy decaying, enjoy my cringe ass writing

Glass Joe

- Really sleepy & an edgelord, he was the kid that had hair covering the side of his face in middle school

- his parents always said that he wouldnt really be able to take up boxing due to him being a natural coward, jokes on them Joe isnt scared to get hurt (physically)

- loved reading old writing, especially gothic literature, he has a soft spot for dark writing

- wrote cringy edgy poems about every crush he had, his parents sometimes pull them out to torment him

- tried to start his own band, failed miserably

- still attached to his edgelord phase very much

- if he was a teen during the 2000-2010's he def would have a edgy wolf oc and a Deviantart account

Von Kaiser

- sickly victorian child + little german boy hybrid

- his parents always spoke with permission so he also started copying them, leading to him always interrupting people by saying "can i ask something?"

- had that one little german boy outfit, along with the huge ass lollipop and dumb hat, anytime someone pulls out his childhood pictures he prays they dont whip out those photos or he will get bullied recklessly

- NEVER EVER cursed until the wonderful age of 15 when he yelled out the word "fuck" after dropping a wrench on his foot, his dad wasnt even upset he was more concerned because holy fuck his child dropped a wrench on their foot

- got sick really often, he was out here being asked to be taken out into the garden one last time before you all posers

Disco Kid

- that one kid who had a really cool dad that let him do anything as long as he didnt blow up the house

- Really creative, writing up stories with pictures, his grammar wasnt really the best (along with his writing) so his parents had to read "the addventours off the brince" and hold in their laugh

- He was the kid who performed an entire ass dance choreography to get your parents to accept the sleepover invite

- got introduced to Disco music by his dad, got obsessed with it instantly and started dancing everywhere

King Hippo

- ate glue

- never spoke with anyone, Just beat up anyone picking on him and no one messed with him ever since

- people just gave him paper to eat, fresh with colored pencils

- liked to play make believe with his plushies

Piston Hondo

- He let you copy off his homework, i think that tells you enough

- everyone only recognized him for being a smart ass, not being creative and that really upset him

- played chess a whole lot, joined tournaments and won some medals

- academic burnout hit him like a train

- for a while, art and writing was his only escape from stress & pressure, he journaled about his feelings and drew his soul out, due to this he struggled to express his feelings without words

Bear Hugger

- chased everyone around with a spider then ate it, he was so evil for what

- never actually went to school, his parents lived out in the woods and homeschooled him since no one likes walking 2-3 hours straight just to suffer in a seat

- He always had a interest in animals, him and mrs bear go are childhood friends, mrs bear met him when she was a cub, due to this he got spared by mrs bears mom and suddenly had a 2nd mom, once his family realized that their son got adopted by a bear, they kindly let the bears in and treated it like it was normal

- loved fishing with mrs bear, he taught her how to use a rod and she taught him how to catch fish with his bare hands

Great Tiger

- so called "self sufficient" When he was just used to being alone and kinda accepted the fact he'll never have proper friends

- created the most batshit insane scenarios with his clones that would make the average hollywood movie maker shed tears, these gems include: divorce, murder, crime, assault and tea parties

- talked to himself a whole lot to the point where his parents took him to a therapist

- never really made friends, Just made himself his own friend

Don Flamenco

- oh no.

- his dad basically hated him, insulted him a whole lot, made fun of him, literally just made him insecure, when he got the opportunity to escape his dad by boxing, he took it without hesitation and got out of there

- was never really home, he was always out with friends to avoid his dad back at the house

- emotional stability? Who needs that when you can ignore your problems?

- people pleaser no matter what he says

Aran Ryan

- greasy ass bitch

- his parents didnt teach him shit, you think tigers parents didnt care about him? They'll look like helicopter parents next to them when they see what aran has going on

- had bad hygiene, only learned to shower and take care of himself in the 5th grade, thanks to that and his name, my boy got bullied and developed his behavior to defend himself from people

- Always ran from school & home, he had a hide out from away from home and a bit close to school to escape whenever he had the chance, he always dissapeared for a few weeks (sometimes months) and nobody really went looking for him, either from knowing he'll return sometime or they just dont care enough

Soda Popinski

- lonely, him and tiger are the difference between feeling lonely vs being alone, he doesnt handle loneliness well

- grew up with his grandpa & his stories, always loved listening to them and copied him whenever he wanted to tell a story

- never had a proper social life due to having to take care of his grandpa + him getting concerned about soda whenever he was out for too long

- spent most of his time crying from loneliness, away from him

Bald Bull

- precious!!! Was really shy and had a rounder face that everyone in his family pinched like crazy

- extremely sensitive & emotional (he still is hes just bottling it up shh)

- stuttered a lot, think about that one "have you ever had a dream you could you can't you would you you could be anything" kid

- was really short and just shot up one day

- scaredy cat, could be scared from anything, including: bugs, darkness, thunder, needles, sharp stuff, blood, death and alcohol (he also still gets scared easily but shh shut up)

- Always snored in his sleep, inherited it from his dad

Super Macho Man

- obsessed with sharks, dinosaurs, trucks and cars, basically got obsessed with anything he found cool

- his parents spoiled the living fuck out of him, no dime left unspent on him, no quarter spared

- Always lied about having something at the playground, sure Macho i trust the fact that you have "every dinosaurs teeth" 100% never doubted you for a second

- his parents love language was money so it got passed down to him, they were just throwing money at him and fucking off

Mr Sandman

- oldest child in his family, has 4 siblings and loves them all very much, had to help his mom & dad take care of them since they were a handful

- started boxing early so he was never in school that often unless it was 99% neccessary

- slept a lot thanks to him being tired constantly from rushing around

- knows how to do hair & make up from his younger sister

#punch out #headcanon #punch out wii #punch out headcanons #don flamenco #glass joe #piston hondo #aran ryan #bald bull #great tiger #this was so fun to make yay yay yippee #sorry for dissapearing i was mentally going downhill #i am drained eughshhs

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bigboysteveharrington · 2 years ago

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Nancy may shared trauma her way into romantic relationships and I know she’s known for it, but Steve is the real king of bonding over shared trauma. He just does it platonically

Season 2 Steve was like yeah okay I’m gonna go help this kid I’ve literally talked to once because who else is going to and then shared trauma himself into being besties with him and giving away his embarrassing secrets just to cheer him up within a matter of hours

Then with the other kids who he’s only talked to once at the hospital after the season 1 stuff (with the exception of Mike who is just his ex’s little brother that can’t stand him) get involved plus Max who he’s literally never seen before in his life and Steve’s like well time to risk my life for all these children while also being worried about Henderson’s feelings even though I barely know him

And then there’s the whole going to go face Billy and potentially get the shit kicked out of him to protect the kids he barely knows that escalated into nearly getting killed to try to stop Billy from killing Lucas that ended with Steve heavily injured and knocked unconscious only for him to get right back up when he’s awake and go put himself in front of all the kids he barely knew and protect them

And then after that point he was like anyway I guess I’m friends with a bunch of 13 year olds, even though it’s a personality trait of mine that I worry about who people at school see me talking to. And he adopted them all and risked getting fired to give them all free ice cream and sneak them into movies and was bonded enough with from all the shared trauma enough not to care that Robin was making fun of him for all the kids he was friends with, but he especially adopted Henderson in the whole I’m your dad and emotional support system and I’m getting you ready and driving you to your dance and hyping you up before you go in kind of way

And then season 3 we all know how he ended up inseparable from Robin and not caring who knew how much he liked her and how much time he spent with her after that. But he also had a new youngest person he’s formed a bond out of shared trauma with friend out of Erica

And we all know if Eddie had survived, he would have gone from ew I’m not wasting my time hanging out with Eddie the Freak Munson when Dustin tried to get him to be Lucas’s sub to hanging out with Eddie and not caring who knew and getting pissed at people who talked about Eddie the way he used to because Steve literally doesn’t have a single character he’s close to that isn’t someone he originally bonded with because of shared trauma and who he’s now protective over

Steve Harrington dropped his toxic friends and immediately after went to go apologize to Nancy and Jonathan and got thrown into the shared trauma that bonded them together but also bonded Steve to both of them and now bonding from mutual trauma is literally the only way he knows how to form real friendships

Nancy at least formed friendships with other people working on the school newspaper. The party became friends with Max and with Eddie and Gareth and Jeff and that guy with no name before they shared trauma with him. Robin is pretty codependent with Steve but she still is in marching band with Vickie and she presumably has other people she talks to and sits with at school and in band. Erica has a whole friend group of her own we saw at the mall plus the Hellfire Club. Lucas befriended Max and the Hellfire Club and some of the basketball team without having to share trauma first. Jonathan befriended Argyle long before he got dragged into anything. El and Will aren’t great at building relationships outside of the people they’ve gone through shit with (with the exception of Will having befriended the party pre-shit hitting the fan) either, but Steve went from the guy everyone wanted to be friends with or be with to the guy that can’t pull off a relationship or make friends in an ordinary setting (and who for months was only friends with kids 5 years younger than him)

His relationships with other characters may not be unhealthy, but somebody get this man help in the sense that he literally doesn’t know how to form an authentic or lasting connection with anyone without almost dying by their side first

#Dude join a club or something #You don’t have to run headfirst into danger to make friends and prove your worth #Steve Harrington #Stranger Things #ST4 #Mine

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slickshoesareyoucrazy · 8 months ago

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Already

I cried already this morning.

My kid isn't eligible to go to a prom unless he's asked to go by a junior or senior, because he's just a 10th grader still. And he is unlikely to go to prom when he's eligible anyway unless one of his 3 best friends or someone he is actually dating in the next 2 years (also unlikely) almost (or actually) begs him to go. He doesn't like manufactured socializing or loudness or dressing up (Shit I wonder where this kid comes from? 😂 It's not like J and I both also hate all that shit...🙄😂). But my friend D's kids and my friend B's son are all eligible to go to their school prom and they are all kids like their dads. Social butterflies. Class clowns even, at least in D's son's case. Popular, socially in demand kids. And because of you, A, I'm half-ass back on Facebook, so I saw the prom pictures hit this morning. And it was supremely bittersweet. Because I LOVE looking at D and B and their families being happy, whether I'm blessed to do that in person like I did this winter into early spring, or in photographs. But because it's prom, it made me think about you.

You and me, man, we did not have good luck with proms. (There's a colossal understatement). Both of them kinda sucked, and even the Senior Dinner Dance wasn't great, but wow junior prom was *particularly* shitty. I should have just not gone to any of that shit, because I didn't like anything about them anyway, and it cost a lot of money I didn't have. I wore that junior prom dress twice, remember? I re-wore it to Senior Dinner Dance, and CB was like...judging me. She was so mean. How the fuck was she our homecoming queen? A mean kid would never ever win something like that at a local school now. Seriously. Now kids like D's and B's kids win that stuff. But anyway, I did go because T begged me to go. She got me to go with that guy from the private school her date went to (same private school D's and B's sons' team ceremoniously beat in basketball this spring in the regional tournament...the whole school is entitled, privileged assholes it seems, and always has been). And you went with that girl from the other snooty area school (the only high school guy I dated that I actually liked and felt safe with went there too, but in our defense, they were a brand new school and had yet to turn snooty back then), but you wanted to date T. And all of that shit blew up at prom. And then shit blew up with you and T later anyway, and it was barely even later. Before senior year started, it was over. (It was over with the guy I was seeing between prom and school starting too; we all went out together to play mini golf and he saw me talk to you after being separated most of the summer because you were doing band and Smarty Pants programs and shit and he accused me of cheating on him with you...so dumb). I always thought T was your best girlfriend. I thought that for DECADES, man. I wished you married her. I did. Years I thought this, wondered what went wrong there, because she was the only one who wouldn't cheat on you. You never told me how quietly mean she was though, and I guess I overlooked it in high school, and since I only got the Facebook edits of her life and values and personality, which everyone knows is heavily curated and usually skewed positive to project the right stuff in the right light. I bet she was mean to you, and you didn't tell me then or ever because you didn't want to wreck another friendship for me. Dude, I wish you told me. I don't like how few friendships I seem to have and how tenuous they are to keep, but I'd have burned that bridge to the ground for you. You know that. I've burned it now anyway.

When you died, T reached out to me. One of the first people. She knew we were close, mostly because of that prom. And I guess she knew we were still close even though we were never Bestie Bestie Bestie lets get matching tshirts and bracelets and shit and take lots of pictures of it and tag each other all the time so everyone knows we're besties on social media like she does and several other people from high school do with their best friends. I thought she was genuinely sad herself about you, and genuinely cared about me. But I think she just wanted an excuse to gossip about you and insult you to me in her passive aggressive way, and somehow thought you dying gave her permission to do that (finally...I almost think she was waiting for us to have a fight and not be friends anymore or even this, to give her an opening to trash you to me). First, she asked if you'd committed suicide. (I'll never know for sure sure, because I'll never look up your autopsy results, but I have to believe NO, based on all of our 30+ year friendship and everything you ever said to me and how much you loved your kid and your dogs. Like no way you'd do that to them.) T almost seemed like she wanted that answer to be yes. Like she wanted to know you were that miserable and in pain in your life. Like that would make her feel smugly good. And then when I told her I was not doing well when she asked how I was holding up, her choice of comforting thoughts was not comforting. 'We can just look back and remember the good times we had with him *and laugh about his idiotic choices.*'

That phrasing didn't land hard in the moment. I was too devastatingly sad to be angry with her or defensive about you then. But I'm mad about it now. I can't believe she'd take that opportunity to focus on what she perceived as your mistakes. I used to think when she asked me how you were doing over the years that she really cared, maybe was even still carrying a flickering torch for you, but now I think she was just jonesing to hear some bad news. She wanted schadenfreude...to take pleasure in your unhappiness. I hope I never gave her the satisfaction, because when you did share that you were unhappy with me, I never shared that with other people, particularly not her. It's not my place to do that. I hope I was always a loyal, trustworthy person in your life. I hope you always thought I was safe. I hope you always knew without a doubt you were loved and valued with me. That I didn't care about your 'mistakes.'

Anyway, I said up there ^ in this ramble that I wish I hadn't gone to any proms or whatever. Which is mostly true. But I know you'd have gone to all of that stuff anyway. And then it would have been bad for you without a buffer. So what I really wish is that we went together. You wouldn't have ever tried to be all over me like Private School Boy or judged that I wore the same dress to 2 different events. Or maybe I wish that I could have talked you somehow into not going and walking around the park or an all night grocery store or something with me instead. I think it would have saved us both a lot of grief. There's no going back though. No Monday morning quarterbacking. Hindsight and all that shit. That's why this morning I've cried already.

Still miss you every day. Wish you could see D's kid in his Prom Prince sash mugging at cameras fucking EXACTLY like D. 😂 Wish you could see B's son with his high school sweetheart in the couples shots, and he's probably going to marry her in a couple years, just like his parents. Just wish you were here. 💔😢❤️

#grief #when your best friend since middle school dies and your kid and all your friends' kids are in high school there's a lot of memory triggers #I miss you so much it still hurts all the time #not just sad but pain

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minisugakoobies · 9 months ago

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1. Oh I love your answer. So maybe y/n went to school with Felix (the first besties) who knew Chan his older friend and neighbour. They all happened to move from Australia to Korea around the same time. There they met Seungmin and Han at school. So they're 5. Han went to college and met Minho(love an lgbtq couple.).6 now. (The fact they do the same major irl I think) Chan started working as a producer and met Changbin.7 now. Seungmin gets a roomie at his college dorm so they're 8 now. Minho was in the modelling industry like Hyunjin. So Minho brings him at a party one day because bro needs some more friends. The first time they all end up together and became friends it's at a bday party of Bang Chan (he gets shit face drunk that day too). then they become a big ass friend group<3333 (the only 9 I will allow skz to be again.)

Also how much time do you think Hyunjin and y/n knew each other before they fuck?

2. I agree he would do all that. 👀 the way y/n would pretend she wouldn't wear shit for him but she does so often. Especial on special occasions. Maybe buys new herself and surprises him. Or call him Hyunjinie just to reel him up more?

3. What do you think Hyunjin would have done if another (fuckboy) guy had gone up to her and asked her to dance that night?

Yes, exactly, the friend group grew little by little! In my mind, Hyunjin's been hanging around for a few months, long enough for him and OC to get to know each other to the point where she feels like she knows what he's all about and vice versa. Of course, she sees a new side of him after that night together!

Ooh, I love the idea of OC trying to surprise Hyunjin. And rile him up while he's out on a photoshoot… I can see her being the type to send him photos or videos, now that she knows he likes that 👀

Hmmm, if someone else had made a move on OC? Hyunjin would have been soooo jealous! He was finally going to say something and someone else got in his way? Absolutely not! The second that person steps away to get OC another drink, Hyunjin's swooping in to convince her not to waste her time on anyone else 💕

#i'm loving your questions!#fic: yours for the night #asks #anon #reader reactions

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iinblooms · 1 year ago

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full doc | pinterest

LOADING FILE… ID #010725 AKA CODENAME: NARCISSUS. COSMO GALIARDO. JORDAN GONZALEZ.

— GENDER: TRANS MALE. PRONOUNS: HE/HIM. AGE: TWENTY TWO. YEAR: JUNIOR. STUDYING: DRAMA. CITY OF ORIGIN: NEW YORK CITY, USA/LOS ANGELES, USA.

NOW PLAYING… PAINT THE TOWN RED BY DOJA CAT. THE SMELL OF ROSES AND TOBACCO, LATE NIGHT DRIVES IN A CONVERTIBLE, THE RUSH OF PERFORMANCE, COCKTAILS AND DANCING ON A SCHOOL NIGHT, HUNGOVER IN CLASSES, PLAYFUL FLIRTING WITH WHOEVER’S NEAR.

IF THE WALLS COULD TALK, THEY’D TELL YOU HE PAYS SOMEONE TO WRITE HIS PAPERS AND HELP HIM CHEAT ON ANY TESTS HE HAS TO TAKE. MENTOR: AVILA, FRANCISCO. INDUCTION YEAR: 2021.

QUICK FACTS

Cosmo's father is the CEO of a large film production company.

He split his time between New York and LA growing up because of his father's business

The Galiardos are not close. The typical emotional distance of the ultra wealthy. Cosmo's attention seeking and self-absorption come from the same childhood well, though he'd never acknowledge it.

Cosmo has always skated by doing the bare minimum in his private schools, charming classmates into letting him cheat or having them help him write papers

When it came time to apply for colleges though, his charms couldn't help him. He was rejected from every prestigious acting program in the United States. Not wanting the scandal of a Galiardo attending a sub par school (or no school at all), his mother called in a favor with her brother, a professor at Daskalos

What should have been a wake up call simply wasn't for Cosmo and he's continued to skate by at Daskalos as well. This time he's upped the ante from charming classmates to paying them. The only reason he keeps it a secret is because he knows it will get him in trouble and jeapordize his already precarious spot. He doesn't feel any guilt for it.

POTENTIAL PLOTS

the 'helper': the most obvious plot to begin with. cosmo is a drama student so he has far less traditional papers and tests than many of his peers, but when they do come up he flat out refuses to do them/do them without significant 'help' (read: cheating). the person he's paying could certainly be a member of the dionysia (i imagine he also needs some 'assistance' with avila's extra work) or simply a fellow student.

the exes: cosmo is a near pathological flirt. he's surely made his way around campus a time or two, if you catch my drift. mostly he's content with one night stands and brief flings but i could see him at least trying to be in a serious relationship once or twice. he was very bad at it, though. i'd love to have some "you were my first real love and you didn't even care about me" or "we were mutually bad for each other and it went out in a bang" or anything else under the sun!

the bestie: cosmo has lots of 'friends', or at least he has lots of people that he surrounds himself with. he's not a very open person, doesn't really talk about his emotions or anything like that, but this would be the person he's gotten the closest to. i'd imagine them as another well-known face on campus, someone cosmo goes out with a bunch.

the influencee: cosmo is not the best influence and i'd love to see him take someone a little more shy or reserved under his wing and help them 'blossom' in his own quite unhealthy way.

the bad influence: cosmo isn't a bad guy. he's also not a very good guy, either. he's primarily self-serving and will put himself and his interests before all else. this person could see that and push him even further. cosmo isn't gullible per say but he could be convinced by the right pressures. also kind of obsessed with the idea of cosmo in a sort of Evil Power Couple on campus but that's just additional.

#daskalosintro

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myloveforhergoeson · 2 years ago

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man at this point idc what the btr boys are doing lmaoo im so invested in how roxy & dak are gonna go. do we ever see roxy's pool date with jo & camille? i wanna know what they think about this whole roxy dak mess he's putting her through....

hello! i wanted to respond to this rq bc i've literally been thinking about it all day

thank you for being interested in dak and roxy i was so scared people would stop reading after i introduced that little plot line! all i've gotta say is... roxy writes based off life experience or scenarios she creates in her head... so... yeah... hahahaha

i did not originally intend to show roxy's pool date with jo and camille but i will write it tomorrow after i get off work and post it asap! i've been writing the season one finale for literal weeks at this point and i'm starting to go crazy over it so itll be nice to get into a different little one shot for a bit. i'll post it in a reblog of this question so we can all find it :)

more under the cut !!!!

right now i will give you a little sneak peek about how EVERYONE feels about the roxy-dak mess because i'm generous like that, and i don't really get to show everyones feelings on it in the story bc we only get inside her head... there's a bit in chapter 13 where we see a little bit of how the guys feel about it, but i didn't want to make it a whole thing and then it kinda turned into a whole thing 🤷‍♀️

anyway: how my characters view love and roxy's relationship through some cannon events and my own personal beliefs

jo: takes absolutely no shit when it comes to love, we see this when kendall has his thing with lucy... she grew up listening to boy bands and has a standard for how men should treat her <3 plus i think she's been in one non-serious "we went on a few dates so i guess he's my boyfriend" relationship from back home so she has a little experience. she thinks dak isn't worth any more of her time after he stood her up but she is afraid to voice this to her bestie...

camille: is a hopeless romantic and would go nearly to the ends of the earth for the ones she loves. she's a "if it's meant to be, it's meant to be" kinda gal and at age 16 fully believes logan is the love of her life. i think he's her first partner! she wants roxy to be as in love as she is and thinks that, while shitty, the whole standing her up thing is just a bump in the road on their way to everlasting love

carlos: pre-established to have never been in a relationship but he's like a silly jock so i'm sure he's been on at least a few dates! he has older sisters in my story (because he feels like he was written by a woman (me. i'm that woman.)) so you know he knows the proper way to show a date a good time! he thought roxy looked so pretty on her first date and he just wants her to have a good time and be happy. if dak makes her happy, he's happy! and he was actually kind of okay with the stand up thing because they got to hang out and dance together <3

kendall: captain (?? i don't think i made this up... this is in the show right?) of the hockey team in a midwestern high school. he's had a few partners and i know his mother whooped his ass (metaphorically) into shape after she found out he goofed around too hard and hurt someone he went out with on accident... as for the roxy and dak affair, he may or may not have picked up on the fact one of his good buddies may or may not like her... he's not a fan but will not say anything bc he isn't in the business of telling her what to do (she will hit him with her songbook very hard)

logan: while a believer in his love science, he's yet to find a way to quantify how he feels about camille after the party in chapter 10 :) he dated a bit his first few years in high school (mostly double dates with james? i also think is a fact from the show), and has had a few non-serious partners but he's never felt this way about anyone else! in his love science-y world, he can tell that dak does not feel the same way about roxy as she feels about him. if he did, he would've come to the party. simple love science!

james: good lord! he has dated anyone who is someone at mountain aire high school and it's always been to elevate or retain his own social status. so when he's normally a flirt for fun, or because it makes his boring little small town feel less boring, it's always been a game to him. except somewhere along the way of flirting out of habit with his new friend, he might have started to actually mean some of the things he's said. he thinks dak's a douche for standing her up and he's trying to make that clear to her the only way he knows how: vague hints and comments here and there. another established james fact is he's never been dumped, so i imagine this brings up a little bit of fear of rejection in him as well. he has trouble voicing his own feelings as well, since he's always trying to come across as perfect.

whoo boy that was way more than i though it was gonna be lol. if you make it this far, you deserve a medal. thanks for the suggestion! i'm excited to write the pool date... we haven't had enough roxy/jo/camille in the fic lately

#just tell her how you feel!! i yell at james as if i am not the one writing him #thats all she wrote fic #ash talks tasw #thank you!!!!!!

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faeriemarie · 1 year ago

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back again!!

my main friend group is me, my cousin jess, my childhood bestie lisa, and my bestie from work allie

i work on weekends so i’m probably doing ballet but i also spend way too much time watching movies. i probably watch 2+ movies a day

i’m not in school anymore but when i was, i was valedictorian!! not to brag but i actually graduated uni when i was 15 and i went to cambridge. but again yk not to brag

really deep trouble? not like in real trouble. but i’m dramatic asf so the most minor thing could happen and i think it’s the end of the world. if i was ever in real shit, idk what i would even do

4 days 4 nights by kitty

i am happiest when dancing. 100% have never been happier than when performing as the lead in a ballet and knowing that people came from across the world just to see me

next question….

not really. next question :)

my jessie jess jessica!! jessica amanda louis you are my one and only. if i have no one, you must be dead

i love being the center of attention in certain situations. being onstage is great and leading a movie is so fun! red carpets or interviews? get me the fuck out of there. i hate being the center of attention if i have to be myself

i’ve put myself in danger. age 17 was the biggest struggle for me to get through. i don’t even know what it was but life just hit me like a fucking train and i stopped eating and interacting with people and literally just sat rotting in my room. you ever read my year of rest and relaxation? yeah that was basically me

AHH OK I LOVE THIS QUESTION!! we met on the tube and he was so cute i was swooning. that was when i was 18 and he was 21. but he never asked me out and i was dating someone else at the time so we just stayed friends. we stayed friends for a long time too. like he had girlfriends and i went on a ton of bad dates. and i was just falling more in love with him until i finally asked him out. after having a crush on him for 5 years, i straight up asked if we would be my boyfriend even though by this point we hadn’t even kissed or anything. and don’t even ask me how i did it because i think i just blacked out for a few seconds

currently? my favorite song is the nowhere man cover by landon pigg from imagine that

answer these questions as your dr self!

1 ★ who's in your friend group?

2 ★ what activity do you find yourself doing on the weekends?

3 ★ are you in school? if so, how are those grades going?

4 ★ have you ever been in REALLY deep trouble?

5 ★ what song reminds you of your s/o?

6 ★ what makes you the happiest?

7 ★ what makes you the saddest?

8 ★ do you have a role model? who is it?

9 ★ who knows you best?

10 ★ how comfortable are you in the center of attention?

11 ★ have you ever been in danger? what happened?

12 ★ if you have an s/o, how did you get together? who asked who out?

13 ★ what's your favorite song?

respond in the comments!

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baekhvuns · 2 years ago

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Omg I forgot about the Coutinho thing. And, Asensio in Arsenal perhaps? Ancelotti GET IN THE BIN OLD MAN🔪

I'm choosing number 8 (Kovacic you're out) definitely not 9 since it's a cursed number there skisjavavwajjsjs. France in shambles, but maybe they'll allow some younger good players now... but yeah, it's wild. Omg the video you sent, what was the referee thinking... but ngl the way they all jumped each other looked funny as fuck

I like to think all the scums that got out will eventually join Prison League, but if they start playing like nothing happened 🔫🔫🔫🔫

I always torture myself by looking at food I cannot eat </3 Ateez are literally running away from me, I'm going to their country while they're going to my continent. What if we pass each other at the airport and I convince them I'm their new translator and go with them???

Ah got it, I understand the "pressure" of writing for someone else and wanting to try something different. But in the end people should write what they truly want and your heart is clearly with another guy... 😌 Jokes aside, hope you're not too stressed over it!

You forgot the name?! You're welcome then! Once in a while my brain remembers the song and goes "It's my scene, my scene, you know what I mean, It's my scene my scene" so I could never forget 😭

Most of the accents in Skins weren't really posh, but realistic! When you look at the cast of Skins it's mad, cause many of them went on to have big careers, Nicholas Hoult, Dev Patel, Kaya Scodelario, Daniel Kaluuya, Joe Cole (Peaky Blinders), some were on Game of Thrones too. Eh my accent is 📈📉📈 sometimes I sound Australian for no reason lmao, but it's somewhat Br'i'sh most of the time. Ooof what happened in the Ryan movie?

Well Dohwa is in high school, so it has to be Tasir, and he has money too </3 but Dohwa I wish you the best, the recent chapters were full of him, it's not good for my heart.....

Not Fake Love 😭 ok will do, but you need to stop leaving me blue balled for that villain fic!!!

Hwa is simply a beautiful and delicate Y/N that's why he needs no hand cream. And he dared to say his skin isn't that good, bro even with eczema it's much better than mine 💀

LUNA is taken but maybe LUUNA could work. Please keep them away from SM 🙃 but at least SM might pay them...

Literally they added Lookass to SuperM for the looks (that's objective) and entertainment, but other members are funny too, so whatever. Then gave him one line, cause he probably couldn't do more, put him in the back during dance breaks and that's it ajshkaisiqkqnanahaha

I saw something about Seok Matthew, right he's 🇨🇦! Oooh your mutual knows him? Wdym you're surprised he made it alive X.X. It made me sad when Hui said he wanted to feel validated, bestie you're good, you write for your group and other people :(

That MinSanHwa video is so cringe I can't stand them lmao, just creating their own AUs. But Seonghwa's nose scrunch and the boss walk, okaaaaay, mafia Hwa?

I played Un Village 15 times yesterday in order to celebrate Baekhyun's release!

Stunning, gorgeous, wonderful, main character

I've always felt some type of way about DF Hwa...

Oh...

🤧🤧🤧🤧 and massive brains

Btw do you know Tamino? I'm seeing him before I fly away to SK. I once had an insane dream of Hwa covering Tummy, so there's that 🙄 he also has a song called Habibi 👀

Random, but a few days ago I realised I forgot what your name was, cause to me it's Baek(sussy), but as I was watching T**n W*lf the movie and bitched about them ditching an important character named Kira, I REALISED! And this you? 🥑 mother Baek - DV 💖

hello!!

Omg I forgot about the Coutinho thing. And, Asensio in Arsenal perhaps? Ancelotti GET IN THE BIN OLD MAN🔪 //// I'm choosing number 8 (Kovacic you're out) definitely not 9 since it's a cursed number there skisjavavwajjsjs. France in shambles, but maybe they'll allow some younger good players now... but yeah, it's wild. Omg the video you sent, what was the referee thinking... but ngl the way they all jumped each other looked funny as fuck

these transfers are so 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 with now man city getting charged for fraud 😭😭😭 ITS SO HILARIOUS FJWKFHWKHD

ANCELOTTI NEED TO GET OUT UR RIGHT FBDB RM DROPPING 8 POINTS LMFAOOO 😭😭😭 no bc france is nastily in shambles,,, i can’t believe they’re actually saying this now about their player??? u expect him to respect the fans after they did this?? and call it attitude?? BRO?? NO FBWMDBWM THE BRO FOT A STRAIGHT RED CARD AND WHEN HE JUST HELD HIS COLLAR 😭😭 antony was YEETED,, football fights are so fun, the netherlands v argentina still hasn’t been topped yet im afraid this one’s coming in close fbdbdb

???? 😭😭😭

I like to think all the scums that got out will eventually join Prison League, but if they start playing like nothing happened 🔫🔫🔫🔫 /// I always torture myself by looking at food I cannot eat </3 Ateez are literally running away from me, I'm going to their country while they're going to my continent. What if we pass each other at the airport and I convince them I'm their new translator and go with them???

the way if he starts at man utd again, im an arsenal fan immediately 🤚🏻 DO U SEE THOSE BENTO MAKING CHANNELS 😭😭😭 watching those 50 min full compilations of them <3 they announced the madrid fan sign 😭😭😭 BUT AT LEAST THERE HOLDING A VALENTINES EVENT OM FEB 13th!! SNATCH ALL THE HWA THINGS THERE omg if u pass by then on the airport i TELL THEJ TO STOP LYING AND DROP THEIR FUCKING COVERS,, BE THEIR TRANSLATOR FJDBDN

yEAAAH 😭😭 i didn’t exactly wanna try something else but i knew if i wrote another hwa it would be on sight 🔫 will never stop after this actually idc idc he brings my writing back <3 i just find it lazy to write for yunho and it’s reaching 50k fbwnbd so i guess it’s a win-win for everyone!!

You forgot the name?! You're welcome then! Once in a while my brain remembers the song and goes "It's my scene, my scene, you know what I mean, It's my scene my scene" so I could never forget 😭

I DID I SWEAR ANON EVER SINCE I MOVED TO CAN I HAVE BEEN YEARNING, SEARCHING LIKE A MADWOMAN LOOKING FOR THESE GAMES U UNLOCKED MY DECADE WORTH OF WISHES 😭😭😭😭😭

omg??? DEV PATEL??? HE??? oh 👁👁 ok but nicholas hoult is a very fine man 🤚🏻 the show must’ve been insane their career and movieoraphy lists are kinda insane??? xmen? sandcastle? 😯 AHHHHH SO BOTH MIX,, would u say u drink tea with ur pinky up? and say naur or nœr? do u also say peng and blud 😭😭

ryan’s movie was a soft pornno without being subtle <3 100/10 would never recommend

Well Dohwa is in high school, so it has to be Tasir, and he has money too </3 but Dohwa I wish you the best, the recent chapters were full of him, it's not good for my heart.....

FJWKDJWKHXXK AND IF U HAD TO CHOSE BETWEEN HE AND TASIR 🔫🔫

Not Fake Love 😭 ok will do, but you need to stop leaving me blue balled for that villain fic!!! //// Hwa is simply a beautiful and delicate Y/N that's why he needs no hand cream. And he dared to say his skin isn't that good, bro even with eczema it's much better than mine 💀

IM SAYING !!!! THAT ORCHESTRA VERSION OF IT IS SO DRAMATIC BUT SO PRETTY! IF NOT FAKE LOVE THEN I NEED U I WONT FOR LONG!! but this?? so ur saying, if boxer hwa gets his hands injured quite often the yn would gift him some flowery scented hand cream? got it.

LUNA is taken but maybe LUUNA could work. Please keep them away from SM 🙃 but at least SM might pay them...

😭😭😭 AT LEAST THEY GET THE MONEY JVCJCJCK

tbh mark baek and kai are so funny in the superm show and the other dude literally can easily be set to the side 😭😭 put him in the back during dance breaks fbwndhj i bet it pissed taemin and kai off when he’s out of sync or maybe he isn’t when they are around fbdbd

yes yes!! pretty close meeting thru groups! yeah see, his high school, there’s ALWAYS have some sort of police there, but he goes to a $$$ school with shitty ppl <3 if u look it up it’s just druugs and all dbdb there’s a few that are much worse def, one made it to the news last month for all the sad reasons 🔫 BESTIE YOURE MORE THWN GOOD UR AN INSANELY TALENTED VOCALIST PRODUCER WRITER 😭😭😭 hope he still gets all his royalties and cube doesn’t just take them,, but these two guys?? they’re so good! reminded me off nct actually

That MinSanHwa video is so cringe I can't stand them lmao, just creating their own AUs. But Seonghwa's nose scrunch and the boss walk, okaaaaay, mafia Hwa? //// I played Un Village 15 times yesterday in order to celebrate Baekhyun's release! /// Stunning, gorgeous, wonderful, main character //// I've always felt some type of way about DF Hwa...

LMFAOOOO THE “aye brothah!” 😭😭😭 theyre like guys from grade 12 acting tough fbfbfb OKAAAAY ITS MAFIA HWA!! def understand why yn in that au hated him, imagining what she must’ve dealt with in their high school days! BAEKHYUN HE LOOKS LIKE HES RIGHT OUT OF CANDY ERA 😭😭 AS U SHOULD !!!! can’t believe they’re all active for the first time together since 2018 😭😭 omg have u heard psycho by him? it’s very, very villain. very. VERY.

and taeyong’s already talking about him 😭😭 simp 😭😭

stop. i literally cannot believe kq hasn’t given hwa a fantasy kdrama cameo,,, he’d be insane he’s STUNNING 😭😭 their lore but with interstellar’s music on it?? chefs kisses

Oh... /// 🤧🤧🤧🤧 and massive brains /// Btw do you know Tamino? I'm seeing him before I fly away to SK. I once had an insane dream of Hwa covering Tummy, so there's that 🙄 he also has a song called Habibi 👀

giving my love reaction to habibi rn,,, omg…it’s like the bg of prince of egypt,, so subtly villainous— THOSE NOTES??? omg tummy is so aesthetically pleasing,, omg anon ur music taste?? the cinematic style of his is omg he’s like,,, the much better version of timothee,, indigo night??? ANON WHAT HAVE U DONE IM SO INTO THIS GET OUT WJFJAJDKW omg forget ateez! HE IS THE MOMENT HE IS ART!!! u don’t own me song?? omg his voice is so calming but so intense i have an obsession omg anon what have u done, tEARING UP HEARING FASCINATION FJJ HIWJFKW he’s so stunning get out. i disrespected him bt calling him a timothy, he is amir <3

LMFAOOO FBWMHDKW THE CENSOR 😭😭😭😭 YEAH HOW DARE THEY DITCH KIRA VRWKHDKW THAT IS ACTUALLY ME! you exposed me how dare u? 🔫

their car looks pretty sick 👀

HELP????? FBQMDHWMDJKW

😭😭😭

🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️do u perhaps agree with this

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years ago

Text

SLEEPLESS

a/n: omg! it's been so long since i last wrote something for harry so it feels a bit weird but in a good way to be back. i've been spending more time offline so writing hasn't been going that fast like before, but im working on a few other stuff too! just please be patient with me, im trying my besti swear! so now enjoy this oneshot of two oblivious and stupid roommates who start sharing a bed...

pairing: Roommate!Harry x reader

word count: 8.1k

masterlist

Living with three boys has its perks but also a lot of downsides too. It’s not how you planned, you were set to move in with one of your friends from second year, but she bailed on you last minute, leaving you with no place to live when most of the houses were already taken for the next at least one year. You were bracing yourself to sleep under a bridge or something already when your heroes came along.

You went to high school with Harry Niall and Louis, but you weren’t exactly in the same friend group, just knew about each other. Then you ended up in the same Lit class freshman year with Harry and he was basically your pass into their little group. You hit it off pretty easily and you always wondered why you didn’t become friends before college. Later you had two more classes with him in the second semester and it was just all a coincidence that he found out about your living situation.

“Why don’t you move in with us?” he prompted one afternoon when you were studying together in the library.

“I’m not sharing a room with any of you, Harry,” you sighed, shaking your head.

“You wouldn’t have to. We had a fourth mate living with us but he dropped out about a month ago. You could take his bedroom.”

“Are for real? You should talk about it with the boys first, don’t you think?”

“I’m sure they wouldn’t mind it. They like you too and if I’m being honest, the place could use the touch of a woman,” he smirked and you just rolled your eyes, but you were incredibly thankful for the offer.

So after talking with Niall and Louis about it and once they gave their amens on the situation, you officially moved in with the three of them.

You’d be lying if you said there hasn’t been times when you thought about choosing the bridge, living with boys is not exactly a dream. They are messy, sometimes loud and oblivious about certain things women do and need. You’ll never forget Niall’s face when you packed the shelf above the toilet with your tampons and pads. The horror in his eyes as he examined all the different sizes and types.

“But why so many? I don’t get it why you need the large ones and the mini ones too,” he huffed.

“Because I vary them according to the strength of my flow.”

“Bless you,” he scoffed and just walked away.

They tend to leave their clothes around the house and they don’t always realize when it’s time to let some fresh air into the place either. Harry has a sixth sense wanting to use the bathroom when you’re in and Louis always forgets to get rid of his spoiled food from the fridge. Tini things that surely got you thinking if it was a good idea to move in with them. But then there are times when you can’t even imagine sharing a home with anyone else than these three idiots.

The way Harry always leaves you a cup of coffee on the counter when he has an early class on mondays and wednesdays, how Niall always waits for you to get home after your night shifts at the restaurant you’ve been working at, but he always just says he was watching Supernatural on TV. You love that Louis goes out of his way to get you your favorite pastry for breakfast on sundays when he goes for his morning runs. But the absolute best is that you never feel alone or bored with these three around. Something is always happening and they make sure to involve you in everything, making you feel like part of their little pack.

Tonight is Thursday and Thursdays are movie nights in your home. It’s been a tradition since the first week and you haven’t missed any of them. Sitting on the couch at your usual spot, you laugh as Niall growls in annoyance when you suggest to watch another rom-com.

“Not again!” he protests, sitting on the floor by the coffee table you and Harry thrifted a few months ago after the previous one was broken at a smaller party held in the house.

“Why? I bet Harry would love it!” you grin, glancing at the guy in talk who is now entering the room with a big bowl of popcorn.

“Of course he would, because he is a pussy! And the two of you always team up, dragging Louis with you so I can never watch something I enjoy!” Niall whines as Harry sits next to you, not too bothered by his friend’s cries.

“Come on, I bet you enjoyed Crazy, Stupid Love last week!” you laugh, remembering how he whined for the first part, then fell asleep at the end.

“Love, if you think that was enjoyment, I wouldn’t want to be your boyfriend,” Niall scoffs and you gasp at his reply.

“Hey!” you snap at him, but can’t help laughing. This is how it always goes with you and Niall, the non-stop bickering can sometimes drive Harry and Lou insane.

“Okay, so what do you want to watch?” Harry asks, throwing some popcorn into his mouth as he gets comfortable, an arm resting on the back of the couch behind you, the other one busy with the snack in his lap.

“There is this new horror I’ve been dying to see!” Niall’s blue eyes light up right away, but you’re fast to break that shine.

“Nah, no way. I’m not watching a horror movie.”

“Why not?”

“Because I fucking hate them and they scare the shit out of me.”

“That’s like the whole point!” he protests, but you shake your head no again.

“What are you fighting about again?” Louis asks, walking into the room after his quick shower, the smell of his body wash filling the room for a few moments.

“I want to watch a horror movie, but Y/N is a little baby and she doesn’t want to.”

“I’m not a baby! I just don’t enjoy watching people get killed or demons sucking the life out of someone!” Niall just rolls his eyes at your response.

“But it’s always what you or Harry wants to watch, why can’t I choose just this once?”

“That’s not true, we watch movies you like too!” you retort, but Niall gives you an unimpressed look. “We watched that crime thing, that was your choice!”

“That was three months ago, Y/N,” he sighs and as you do some quick math you realize that he is right.

“Hey, he has a point. Let’s just watch what he wants this one time, yeah?” Harry curls his arm that’s been on the back of the couch around your shoulder and he pulls you to his side, squeezing you gently.

“But I hate horrors,” you pout, knowing well that it’s already kind of settled, you lost this battle.

“It’s just a movie. And if you get scared in the night, you can sleep at mine,” he offers with a wink that surely makes your heartbeat fasten a bit.

If you’re being honest, you’ve always had a tiny crush on Harry, even back in high school, when you didn’t really know him. He was the cool guy, but not the douchebag type, more like the one that was nice to everyone and earned their respect and liking. Getting to know him just proved that he really is a great guy, but you figured he would never feel the same way about you. These three guys only saw you as their sister and that was in a way kinda worse than being friend zoned, but there’s nothing you can do about it, so you just decided to come to peace with your situation. But that doesn’t mean you don’t get flustered when you see him wander around the house in just his boxers or when he gets a little touchy with you, which happens a lot, because that’s just how he is. Hands on your shoulders, a little squeeze on your hips, the gentle touch of his fingers on your back, they happen all the time and they get your pulse up every time. You can only hope it’s not that noticeable.

Niall finally gets what he wants and you agree to watch that stupid horror movie. It doesn’t start off too bad, but it quickly escalates and makes you shudder every time the screen gets a little darker or the music is foreshadowing that something is about to happen.

“Jesus fuck!” you jump a little when the killer appears out of nowhere in the scene.

“You alright?” Harry asks, peeking down at you.

“I fucking hate this dude,” you mumble, rubbing your face with your hands, to get your shit together. Harry chuckles lightly next to you, his arm pulling you to his side close and you gladly sink against him, the warmth of his body giving you some comfort and a sense of safety.

Your eyes are on the screen, but your mind is dancing around how his fingers are delicately running up and down your arm, drawing circles and little shapes on your skin. It could put you to sleep easily, even with the woman screaming on the screen after seeing her husband get killed.

“Just imagine the guy with a funny mustache,” Harry murmurs, leaning closer to you so he doesn’t bother the other two guys with his comment. “Or maybe in a ridiculous outfit.”

“Like… in a onsie?” you ask, squinting your eyes at the screen.

“Could be, yeah,” he chuckles quietly. “Just imagine him running through the woods in a onsie with bunnies all over it.”

You can’t push your laughter down, covering your mouth with your hand so you don’t bother the others. Harry just smirks, giving you a squeeze as you’re still melted against his side on the couch, legs pulled up to your chest, while his are spread out in front of him.

“Definitely not that scary,” you giggle and Harry hums in agreement.

“Would you mind getting a fucking room, you guys? You have two, in fact!” Niall snaps at you playfully, when you start laughing again.

“Sorry, sorry!” you clear your throat, your cheeks heating up at the comment, but luckily it’s dark enough to hide your embarrassment. Niall is always quick to make dirty jokes and tease you in a way that makes you nervous, especially when it involves Harry as well. He has made plenty of comments about you and Harry since you’ve moved in, implying that the two of you sometimes act like a couple or that you should hook up. Harry is always quick to shake them off, that’s how you know he couldn’t even take the thought seriously.

At the end of the movie you feel like it wasn’t bad, not with Harry holding you close at least.

“Will you be screaming tonight, Y/N?” Niall teases you, making you roll your eyes at him.

“Either way it’s gonna be your fault.”

“I can live with that!” he laughs, bidding his goodbye before he shuts the door of his bedroom behind him.

You do your usual evening routine, get ready to bed and by the time you’re done in the bathroom all the boys have retired into their rooms. The hallway stands dark in front of you, only a tiny bit of light coming from your bedroom since you left your bedside lamp on in there, but you still can’t help the eerie feeling that washes over you. That movie didn’t sit right with you and now you have to face the aftermath of it.

Switching the lights in the bathroom off you sprint into your bedroom, pictures from the movie flashing in your mind of the killer just jumping out of nowhere. You shut the door and lean your back against it for a moment, taking a deep breath. Tonight is going to be long.

No matter how hard you try, you just can’t fall asleep. You’re way too alerted, opening your eyes at the tiniest of sounds around you, which is unfortunate, because your window is looking over the main street, unlike two other rooms in the house, that are facing the small backyard. Harry and Louis have the luck to have those rooms.

Every time you’re about to fall asleep something from the movie sneaks into your thoughts and you get scared to death. Soon, you realize you won’t be able to sleep on your own tonight.

Sitting on the edge of your bed, you wonder if Harry really meant that offer that you can sleep with him or not. Part of you is convinced it was just a joke, but when you hear someone shouting down the street you push your doubts aside and you quickly find yourself making your way to Harry’s room.

You knock on the room lightly, not wanting to wake anyone else up. The last thing you need is Niall seeing you go into Harry’s room in the middle of the night.

No answer comes from inside, but you won’t just leave it at that. Opening the door you’re facing another dark room, barely making out the furniture, but you already know the route by heart. Making it to the bed your eyes finally adjust to the darkness and you can see Harry lying on his side, sleeping peacefully. Squatting down you place a hand to his shoulder and give him a tiny shake.

“Harry?” you call out quietly, but his answer is just a huff. “Harry, it’s me,” you try again, squeezing his arm. He furrows his eyebrows before slowly blinking his eyes open, finding you in his sight.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asks in that groggy, low voice you love hearing in the morning so much.

“I can’t… Did you mean that I can sleep here if I’m scared?” you ask, afraid that he might just have a good laugh and send you back to your room. For a long moment, he just blinks at you before nodding his head and you feel relief washing over you.

“Sure,” he hums.

“O-okay then I’ll bring a blanket and take the floor and--”

“Shut up, you are not sleeping on the floor,” he growls, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into bed with him as he scoots over, making you space on the mattress.

It’s a bit weird at first, lying in bed with Harry, especially because it’s just queen sized, so there’s not much space between the two of you, but it seems like Harry doesn’t mind it so why should you?

Your nerves are a lot calmer with Harry next to you, but maybe it’s still because of the movie or because you’re a bit anxious about the whole situation, you just still can’t relax enough to fall asleep.

“Y/N, no one is gonna kill you here,” Harry speaks up surprising you because you thought he has already fallen back asleep.

“I know, I know,” you whisper, trying to sound convincing, but you can’t fool anyone, especially not him.

He huffs deeply and before you could realize what’s happening, Harry’s arm is curled around your waist, pulling you against him, spooning you from behind, the warmth of his body wrapping your figure almost entirely.

“If a murderer comes, they will have to fight me first, alright? Now sleep,” he mumbles against your hair, squeezing you gently. All at once, you couldn’t care about killers and dark shadows around you, because Harry was right there, holding you tight and there was nowhere you wanted to be more than right there.

You slept like a baby. Harry’s closeness kept every nightmare away from you and the morning came with ease. Harry’s phone wakes the two of you up at eight, because he has a morning class at 9.30. The two of you are completely tangled up in each other, lying on your side facing each other, Harry’s arms are wrapped around you, while yours are hugging his waist. Groaning at the sound of his alarm, he rolls to his back to reach for the phone on the nightstand and then he finally turns it off. It’s bright outside, the darkness of the night finally long gone. You’re still groggy when Harry rolls back, his arm coming back around you like it’s the most natural thing in the world and in a sense, it feels like that. But as you both slowly wake up, you realize that you might be a little too close. Slowly but surely you let go of each other, rolling to your back, staring up at the ceiling.

“Hope I didn’t kick you in my sleep,” you smile at him, peeking over at him, hoping to break the awkwardness of the situation.

“No, don’t worry about it,” he chuckles, rubbing his eyes, before pushing himself up and off the bed. You follow him with your gaze as he steps to his dresser and grabs a pair of clean underwear. “I’ll put on a coffee while I shower, want one too?” he asks, though you know he could make one for you anyway.

“Sure, thank you,” you nod and he nods back, yawning as he walks out of the room, leaving you lying in his bed, a bit confused and kind of aching to be held by him again.

Two days pass by, everything is going as per usual, neither you nor Harry brings up that you spent the night in his bed that one particular time. Now it’s saturday and you all were planning to go out, but a sudden storm has cancelled your plans, so the evening turned into a cozy, lazy hangout instead of a wild party at some frat house.

Louis decided to work on a paper that’s due in two weeks, Niall has been relentlessly swiping on Tinder while you and Harry are spawled out on the couch, watching some shitty action movie that was on TV, since you both were too lazy to choose one and put it on. Deep down you’re a little happy you don’t have to spend the evening in a crowded, smelly house, drinking cheap alcohol.

Harry gets up from his seat to grab himself a drink just when Niall growls in annoyance.

“What is it?” you ask.

“They keep unmatching with me after we’ve talked a little!”

“Have you thought about the reason?” you smirk at him, knowing well that Niall probably isn’t the easiest to talk to, he surely takes it too far too soon.

“Well they probably don’t like that I ask them if I can go over,” he shrugs, making you laugh.

“You’d go over in the pouring rain?” Harry asks, returning to his spot on the couch. He puts his drink to the coffee table and instead of sitting into his previous position, leaning against the arm of the couch, he lies down, laying his head to your thigh, making your breath hitch for a moment.

“Of course not!” Niall rolls his eyes. “But I thought it would make them think I would do anything for them.”

“It makes you seem desperate,” Harry retorts, earning a questioning look from his friend. “What? It does!”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Yes it does,” you nod in agreement. “Going over in the middle of a storm just to fuck? Sounds like you’re having a hard time finding someone.”

“Women are so fucking complicated, and for what?!” he growls, before storming off to his bedroom, like an angsty teenager, leaving you and Harry alone.

He doesn’t move, his head stays on your thigh using it as a pillow. His curls are tickling the soft skin on your thigh and you have to fight the urge to play with his hair or scratch his scalp. You stay like this for the rest of the movie and when he gets up you almost want to pull him back.

“Alright, I’m fucked, I’m gonna go to bed,” he yawns, stretching his arms out into the air as he heads into his bedroom. “Good night, Y/N.”

“Night, Harry!” you call after him as you watch his frame disappear down the hallway.

Sighing, you slide down on the couch, cursing under your breath that you’re still so hung up on Harry. You really thought that you had it under control, but lately those damn butterflies are acting up in your stomach at everything he does.

“I’m pathetic,” you mumble under your breath just as the sky rumbles outside with a blinding lightning, making you jump with a squeak. “Shit,” you huff, already knowing that falling asleep will be a pain in the ass. Again.

You’ve always hated storms, they make you think that something bad is about to happen, a tree is about to fall into the window or a lightning will blow up the building. It’s kind of stupid, you know it, but you just can’t help it.

Tossing and turning, you jump every time a lightning flashes somewhere outside and a few seconds later the thunder rips through your whole body, almost making you fall off the bed.

“Oh God,” you let out a shaky breath. You have no idea how long it is until the Storm finally stops and you’d really like to have a good night's sleep. So pushing your anxious thoughts to the side, you get out of bed and head over to Harry’s room once again.

It’s such a deja vu from a few nights ago, as you gently knock on the door you wait again, but this time you actually get an answer.

“Yeah?” you hear him call out from inside and you slowly open the door, peeking your head inside. Harry is lying in bed, his head propped up against the headboard as he is scrolling through his phone. “Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asks, putting the phone aside as he sits up.

“I just, I-I know it’s stupid, but I was thinking… I don’t know--”

“Y/N, just tell me, alright? Come on in,” he gestures for you and you slip into the room, closing the door behind you before sitting to the edge of the bed next to him. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t sleep during storms…” you admit, looking into his eyes, hoping he gets the hint where you want to head with it. He stares back at you for a moment before he scoots over, lifting the covers up, giving you the green light to join him.

Relieved, you climb over to him, making yourself comfortable as he wraps the blanket over you, his arm immediately coming to cradle you, this time pulling you to his chest so your head is laid upon his shoulder, a hand gently placed onto his hard chest, probably right above where his butterfly tattoo is adorning his abdomen.

This is now easily your favorite place. Safe and tight in Harry’s arms, protected from anything and everything, like you’re in a little bubble as soon as you get on his bed.

Lightning strikes outside again and you shiver a little. Harry probably notices it, because he tightens his hold around you, as if it’s his way telling you that he is here and nothing bad is gonna happen. Eventually, you’re able to shut the outside out and only focus on Harry’s warmth, the touch of his hand on your arm and his even breathing. And then finally, you drift off to sleep.

This morning is different from the previous one you spent here. There’s no alarm since it’s Sunday, neither of you have anything in particular to do, so you wake up feeling rested, the Sun shining through his half drawn in curtains, no trace of last night’s storm can be noticed from where you’re lying in bed, the sky is as clear as ever. Sometime during the night you got tangled in a way where Harry is the one now cuddling you, his head lying on your chest, hugging you as if you were a giant teddy bear, his leg thrown between yours, lightly snoring against your sleep shirt. You can only see his mop of hair and the urge to play with them is back, but this time, you give in.

Leaving one hand on his back, you move the other one to his unruly locks, gently playing with one before you comb your fingers through it, lightly scratching his scalp. Harry hums in pleasure, shifting from his dreams back to reality, but he doesn’t move, just keeps humming as you massage his scalp.

“It’s not a good morning, it’s the best,” he mumbles groggily, making you chuckle at his words.

One of his hands is flat against your ribcage and the damned butterflies start dancing when you feel his fingers gently stroke your side as you keep playing with his curls. This feels so idyllic, as if you’ve been like this forever. You wish that was true.

Groaning as he stretches, Harry rolls to his back, making you instantly miss his body pressed against yours. He rubs his eyes, sighing deep as he blinks up at the ceiling a few times, then he turns his head to the side, looking at you.

Just when he is about to say something, outside his door it sounds like someone just broke a pile of plates and it’s followed by Niall’s usual annoyed growl. You both get out of bed to go and check what happened, not even thinking about how it might appear that you both are coming from Harry’s room in the morning.

Harry flings the door open and there is Niall, collecting pieces of a plate from the floor, his breakfast scattered down the hallway as well while he curses under his breath.

“What happened?” Harry asks, picking up a bigger piece from the plate.

“Fucking tripped,” he growls back, glancing up just for a moment, then back down, but then he processes that you’re standing behind Harry, in his room, in the morning. “What the fuck are you doing in Harry’s room?” he bluntly asks, quickly forgetting about the mess he just made.

“What?” you ask nervously, your pulse quickening in an instant. Harry stands up, seemingly not too bothered by Niall’s question.

“You slept in his room?!”

“She did,” Harry answers, leaning against the doorframe.

“Wait, are you two fucking?” Niall’s eyes widen, snapping back and forth between you and Harry.

“Just because two people sleep in the same bed, doesn’t mean they are fucking, Niall,” Harry chuckles, seemingly amused by the situation that’s got your stomach knotted. Louis’ door opens and he walks out, his hair a little messy, but already dressed, a mug halfway filled with coffee in his hand.

“Wha’s this circus out here?” he asks, looking around, his eyes scanning over the mess on the floor.

“Did you know these two are fucking?” Niall asks him and Harry lets his head drop back at his words.

“Are you?” Louis simply questions and you shake your head no.

“We are not. Y/N can’t sleep in a storm so she came over to mine.”

“Funny, she doesn’t come to me when she’s scared,” Niall scoffs.

“I never came to you because you don’t understand that sleeping together doesn’t mean sex,” you retort, though your ears are practically burning from the rising anxiety inside you.

“Wait, whoa. This wasn’t the first time you two slept together?”

“She was scared after your stupid horror movie too,” Harry shrugs.

“Wow, so are you guys a thing now or what?”

“Niall!” Harry growls and you’re not entirely sure what bothers you more. Niall’s shock and interrogation or the way Harry seems so cool and unbothered, like it’s no big deal. Maybe because for him it really isn’t, it’s only about the sleeping, nothing else, even though the cuddles are a little beyond the lines of friendship.

“What? I’m just asking the important stuff! Am I not allowed to tell dirty jokes to Y/N because you’ll cut my prick off?”

“You shouldn’t tell those anyway,” Louis chimes in and you nod in agreement.

Seeing that the conversation is just getting more and more awkward with each passing moment you decide to pull yourself out of it. Pushing yourself past Harry you mumble an excuse me before rushing back into your room, the three boys eyeing you curiously as you shut the door behind you, finally putting a physical barrier between you and them.

You shouldn’t be this offended, it’s not like any promises were made and you should have known better and not fall for him more than you already did. It was silly of you to think that there was anything more behind these nights spent curled up against each other, or when you woke up tangled and melted together. It was never what you hoped it to be.

Then and there you decide it’s better if you distanced yourself from him, or at least go back to how it was before. No bed sharing, no cuddling and preferably no bitter feelings.

It all goes well, because you have a pretty busy week after that day, you always have something to do and it’s not like you spent the night with Harry randomly, so it was evident that you stayed in your room so far.

But about a week later another storm was threatening to strike. The sky was gradually darkening all afternoon and now it’s only five o’clock, but it feels like eight. It’s Sunday, you’re quite exhausted since you were working until three. Niall was out somewhere with some of his coursemates and Louis went home for the weekend, won’t be back until Tuesday. It’s just you and Harry, who’s been sprawled out on the couch in only his sweatpants while you’re making yourself an early dinner so you can go to bed soon and have a good night’s sleep.

It doesn’t take long for the rain to start pouring, you’ve just gotten out of the shower when the first thunder rips through the place, making you gasp in fear. Harry’s head snaps around, looking in your way where you’re standing at the bathroom door, a questioning look in his eyes, but he doesn’t say a word. Ignoring his gaze, you just make your way into your bedroom, not even thinking about what could be on his mind. Is he thinking about whether you’ll ask to sleep with him again or he doesn’t care about it at all?

By the time you are ready to go to bed, the storm is fully raging outside, making your insides tremble every time you see a lightning or the thunder breaks the quietness in the house. You make one last trip to the kitchen, finding Harry leaned against the counter as he eats an apple.

“Going to bed early?” he asks as you pour yourself some water.

“Mhm,” you nod, avoiding looking at him.

“Everything alright?”

“Sure, I’m just tired,” you force a small smile onto your face just when a thunder rumbles outside, making you jump. Harry is watching you curiously and kind of expectantly, but you’re doing your best ignoring it. Instead, you just grab your water and head back to your room. “Good night.”

“Night, Y/N,” he calls after you, and you can feel his burning gaze on your back right until you close the door behind you.

Your plan to sleep a good ten hours goes right out the window. It doesn’t seem like the storm is about to calm anytime soon, so you’re stuck to suffer through it on your own. You’ll be damned to go to Harry’s, that would be an instant heart break and you just can’t take that right now. Long, torturous hours pass by with you lying awake in bed and part of you wants to go running over to Harry, but you force yourself to stay. It’s not happening tonight.

You fall asleep sometime after two in the morning when the thunder and lightning have stopped. Unfortunately, you need to wake up early in the morning, so when your phone’s alarm shakes you out of your sleep, you feel like absolute shit. Dragging yourself out of bed appears to be the hardest thing right now. As you make your way out, you are met with an all too familiar figure sitting at the small dining table, two cups of coffees in front of him, one obviously made for you.

Harry’s eyes snap up at you curiously, taking in your terrible looks as you head to the bathroom.

“Morning,” you mumble under your breath.

“Good morning’,” he nods in your way and though he doesn’t say anything else, you can tell he has a few thoughts about your current state.

Once you’re done with your morning business in there you join him at the table, barely able to keep your eyes open.

“Rough night?” he asks, eyes examining your face.

“Kinda.”

“The storm?”

You don’t answer, just nod your head. He remains silent, but you can feel that he is dying to ask another question.

Why didn’t you come over?

You’re glad he doesn’t actually asks you, because you wouldn’t be able to give either a normal answer or say anything without starting to cry. Instead, you just grab your coffee and head back into your bedroom to get ready for the day.

That week on Friday all four of you are invited to a party. At first you want to cancel, but some of your friends from classes will be there too and it’s been ages since you’ve been to a great party, so you decide to tag along with the boys.

For the first half of the evening you go your separate way, spending time with people you don’t actually live with and see every day. One drink follows the other, though you make sure you don’t go farther than getting tipsy. You’re not in the mood to deal with a nasty hangover in the morning.

Sometime after your third or fourth drink you run into Niall and he pulls you into their little circle that also involves Harry. When he sees that you’ve joined them, his eyes light up and goes out of his way to get next to you.

“I haven’t seen you in ages!” he whines, slurring his words as he wraps an arm around your shoulders to keep you at his side. He is definitely drunk, that you’re sure of.

“It’s been just about two hours, Harry,” you roll your eyes, but can’t push your smile down. You’d be lying if you said you’re not enjoying having him so close. Your dynamic hasn’t been the same since you stopped sleeping in his bed. Not that it was such a regular activity, it only happened two times.

“But I missed you, I feel like we haven’t… haven’t talked in so long!” he huffs, knitting his eyebrows together. “Have you been avoiding me?” he asks leaning closer, so your conversation can somewhat be private.

“That’s silly. Of course I haven’t!”

“But it feels like that,” he pouts with glossy eyes. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

“Sure,” you nod, the bitter taste of lying filling your mouth.

“Alright, cool,” he smirks and pulling closer he kisses into your hair before he engages with the rest of the group again, keeping his arm around you as if it wasn’t a big deal.

For the rest of the evening you simply don’t leave his side and not because he doesn’t let you, but because you don’t want to. Harry is not the only one missing the other, this week you’ve noticed that even though you’ve been keeping yourself busy, your thoughts always took you back to one particular, curly haired boy. Despite everything that’s been going on, he is your friend first and foremost who you love spending time with and talking about anything and everything.

Both of you are intoxicated, Harry a bit more than you, but you’re having a blast playing beerpong or ruining Niall’s chances with girls he is trying to pick up. You’re genuinely having an amazing time and it wouldn’t be the same without Harry.

Arriving back home your little group splits, everyone using the bathroom after the other and you’re the last one in line, because you always take the longest. By the time you’re finished, Louis and Niall are both locked up in their rooms, but Harry’s door is still open, some dim lighting illuminating the hallway. As you approach it, you find him throwing his dirty clothes into the hamper, but his head perks up when he sees you.

“Good night, H,” you sigh, quite tired and in need of a good sleep, but before you could head into your own bedroom, Harry grabs your wrist and pulls you into his. “What is it?”

“Sleep here,” he simply prompts, already leading you to the bed.

“Why?”

“Because I want you to.”

“I-I… I don’t--” you stutter, feeling flustered from his offer.

“Come on, you can’t say no,” he tells you, already crawling under his covers and then he holds them up as the invitation.

Taking a deep breath you follow him and make yourself comfortable in your almost usual spot. Harry’s arm falls over your waist in an instant, spooning you from behind as he hums pleased. But a few moments later he lifts his head, looking at you with concern in his eyes.

“You know you can say no, right? I was just joking.” Looking back at him you give him a small smile. Even drunk he makes sure you aren’t doing anything you don’t want to, but how could you not want it? You’ve been aching to sleep next to him all week, especially after the last storm when you suffered alone in your room.

“I know, Harry.”

“Alright, okay,” he nods, his head dropping back to the pillow. “I missed this,” he mumbles with a sigh.

“Yeah?”

“Mm, sleeping alone sucks,” he hums and in a split second, your heart breaks.

Harry didn’t want to sleep with you, he just wanted to sleep with someone and you were the one there. It has nothing to do with you.

You want to blame him, you want it to be his fault that your chest is now aching, knowing that it truly doesn’t mean the same thing to him it does to you, but you know you can’t. It wouldn’t be fair, so once again, you’re left with a sinking heart wrapped up into Harry’s embrace that suddenly feels burning.

“Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, Harry.”

When the morning comes Harry is still sleeping deep beside you, an arm thrown over your waist, puffing warm air against the side of your head with every breath he exhales. Seeing him so peaceful warms your heart, but then you realize everything that happened last night, how he only used you because you were available and not because he wanted you.

You don’t want to wait for him to wake up and face him, your emotions would surely bring the best out of you. So carefully, you unwrap yourself from his hold and sneak out of his room, back into yours.

There’s no way you can face Harry right now, so before he could wake up you leave, planning on spending the day in the library, working on your assignments, hoping the school work will take your mind off of how badly you’ve been friendzoned.

Sometime after eleven Harry actually texts you asking where you went and you just tell him you have a shitload of school stuff to deal with. He asks if he can join you, but you tell him you’re with a group of your classmates, even though you’re sitting in an almost entirely empty library. He luckily doesn’t push it and leaves you to be. Hopefully he’ll be fine when you take another step away from him for a while to get your head straight and sort your emotions out.

You get home quite late, but not late enough, apparently. Because walking into the house you find the boys clearly getting ready to watch a movie.

“Just in time!” Niall beams. “Join us, Princess!” he laughs, grabbing himself a cola from the fridge.

“Oh, no, I have some things to work on--”

“Come on, you’ve been in the library all day, you can have a break!” Louis tells you and you know you won’t be left alone, they are just so persistent.

So you join them in your usual spot, which is of course next to Harry, though you’re trying to avoid his gaze that hasn’t left you since you arrived and by now you’re certain he knows you’re avoiding him. There’s a reason why he asked you last night if you’ve been doing it lately, he is not stupid, but this is not the time to deal with it.

With your inner crisis bubbling inside you, you completely forget to ask what you’re watching. A few minutes into the movie it becomes quite clear however.

“Is this a fucking horror movie again?” you ask, snapping at Niall, who just starts laughing.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Harry will gladly let you sleep in his bed tonight,” he teases, making your whole face heat up at his comment. Harry slaps his chest before he turns to you with concern filled eyes, but you pretend like you see nothing, turning back to the screen with your jaw clenched.

You’re fucked.

The movie is a fucking shitshow and leaves you traumatized. When it’s over, you think about why didn’t you just stand up and go into your room when you realized it’s another horror. For a change, this one was filled with demons and monsters that hide in the shadows, just what you need before going to bed. In the night. In a totally dark room.

Exiting the bathroom you’re already planning on watching something lighthearted and cheerful in your room, hoping that would make you forget the movie you just saw and give you the chance to actually sleep.

Walking past Harry’s room you see that it’s still open and you catch him expectantly looking at you when you appear in the doorway as you walk down the hallway, your eyes meeting for just a split second before you disappear from his sight and shut your bedroom door without a word behind you.

No matter how many random videos you watch on YouTube, some scenes from the movie are just imprinted into your mind and they have you trembling in fear. Every shadow looks like a demon or ghost, hiding in your room, ready to haunt and kill you and you’re on the verge of actually crying. It might not be only because of the movie, more like everything else that’s been bottled up inside you, added to the fear the movie has brought to you.

Shutting your eyes closed you try to take deep breaths and for a bit it actually seems to help, but that is until you hear the door opening. It gives you an instant heart attack and you can’t keep your tears back anymore.

A whimper leaves your mouth as the door opens and you can only see a shadow entering the room, totally not recognizing Harry in the dark.

“Y/N, hey, it’s just me! It’s okay!” he quickly clears, seeing how shaken up you are. He rushes over to the bed, one hand cupping your cheek, the other one finding your hand and before you could think, you grip it hard.

“You scared the living hell out of me!” you cry out, sobbing.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to check on you.”

Silence sets between the two of you that’s only momentarily broken by your shaky breaths as you try to calm yourself down.

“Why didn’t you come to mine after the movie if you were so scared?” he then asks, surprising you with how straightforward he is.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” you mumble, blinking the remaining of the tears away as Harry stares down at you intently.

“Why would you think you’d bother me? I like having you there.”

“But it’s… Doesn’t matter,” you sigh in defeat, but it just concerns him even more.

“No, tell me!”

“Harry, just go back to your room. I’ll be fine.”

“You definitely won’t and I’m not leaving until you don’t tell me what’s going on,” he protests firmly and you lose your patience to keep lying to him.

“You just wanted someone to sleep with yesterday, okay? You didn’t need me. And… I don’t want to depend on you more than I should.”

Harry stares back at you with a blank expression and you feel like this is going to be the end of your friendship. You have to come clean about your feelings and he’ll tell you that he doesn’t feel the same way. But then he speaks up and the tables turn faster than ever.

“Y/N, I wanted you to sleep with me last night. Not just anyone. You.”

“What?”

“I really thought we have been on the same page, but apparently, we’re not even in the same book,” he sighs, confusing you even more. “Wasn’t it suspicious how things have been between us lately? The way we slept, the mornings, did you think these are normal things to do?”

“I-I thought that… it didn’t mean anything to you.”

“Well it did,” he replies and you breath hitches in your throat. “I was trying to take it slow, see how you’d react to everything and I thought you were feeling the same way. But then last time you didn’t come to my room when there was a storm and I thought that was your way of telling me that you want to pause whatever’s been going on.”

You’re just blinking in shock, listening to his words. This is nothing you expected.

“But then you seemed like you opened back up last night and you agreed to sleep with me, thought we were back on track, but then you were nowhere to be found in the morning, avoided me all day and now you would have rather spent the night crying here alone than to come over to me. What did I do? Just tell me, because quite frankly, I have no idea what we are doing anymore, Y/N,” he sighs, clearly tired of this insane game you’ve been playing without even knowing.

“So… you did all of this, because… you…”

“Because I like you, Y/N. But there’s a possibility it’s already way more than just a strong liking,” he admits with a soft chuckle that melts you in an instant.

“Oh god, I could cry again, but not out of fear this time,” you tell him, making him laugh as you scoot closer to him on the mattress. “I feel the same way, Harry,” you softly tell him, your hands finding the base of his neck while his hands have wandered to your waist so now he is pulling you towards him until he ends up in his lap. His face is now so close, and even in the dark, you can see the cheesy smile on his pink lips.

“You’re not saying this just to keep me here because you’re scared to be alone, right?” he asks, clearly joking, earning a wholehearted laugh from you.

“No, but I guess that would be a major benefit of it.”

“I’ll protect you from all the demons and killers under one condition,” he smirks, his face already inching closer, his nose is already touching yours.

“Yeah? And what’s that?”

“I get to kiss you.”

“Deal.”

You barely say this one little word, his lips are already on yours, kissing you in a way that almost knocks all the air out of your lungs. You press yourself up against him, his arms curling around you, holding you tight as if he is already protecting you from everything that scares you, though you can’t really think about the stupid horror movies now that you’re kissing Harry.

He pulls you down with himself making you lie on your back as he holds himself up above you, his lips parting from your just enough so he can look into your eyes.

“How about I kiss you every time you feel scared?” he prompts, pecking your lips gently as you pull your legs up and his hips settle between your thighs, while your hands dance down his back.

“Alright, I’m in,” you smirk at him and for a moment he just stares back at you, smiling wide, in complete awe that it’s finally happening. Then he cocks his head to the side before speaking up.

“Are you still scared?”

“Very,” you nod. “I’m shaking.”

“Good,” he grins before his lips press onto yours again.

Thank you for reading! Please like/reblog if you enjoyed!

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