#AND ALL I REMEMBER IS REUBEN AND DEREK

[ofheroism]

when: january 10, 2023 where: port valdez who: @derekshaws​

It is too reminiscent of some melancholic social media post that leaves him sighing and wishing he’d never made a profile simply to like Elliot’s podcast (truthfully, he’s listened to all of two...) to say “what a year” about a year that has only existed for all of ten days. And yet, this is exactly what he thinks as he sits on a boulder near the caves to clear his head. Or, at least, where he’d meant to be clearing his head, and he realizes to his misfortune someone else in the nature of Port Valdez. “If it isn’t the grumpiest man in all of Alaska. I regret to inform you there aren’t trash cans in the near vicinity.” 

[camiddletonxox]

Reliving Some Joy

Pairing - Adam McIntyre x Charity Middleton (Americas Most Eligible)

Rating - General, Fluffy, Cute

Characters - Adam McIntyre, Charity, Reuben Joseph McIntyre

Setting - This is based post book 3, in my story the first time Charity’s career was a doctor then I changed to teacher on my first replay and the second replay I chose kids dentist hence why shes a dentist in this. Lol

Taglist - @drakewalkerfantasy @ao719 @princess-geek @polishchoicesfan @binny1985 @adriansbiss @desireepow-1986 @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @hatescapsicum @itscassandral @gardeningourmet @thequeenofcronuts @heauxplesslydevoted @kaavyaethanramsey @imonlybibecauseofethanramsey @waitingforalana @dailydoseofchoices @regencylady1810 @storyofmychoices @sanchita012 @sushiharrington @akshara16 @choicesficwriterscreations

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Prompt - Memories Day 5 @choicesoctoberchallenge2020

Summary - Adam and Charity reminisce about their wonderful friends with their little boy

Word Count - 684

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The giggles rippled through the room, as the couple looked through things that had been said about them. By the press. How they were supposedly not in love with each other, how she had supposedly cheating with Derek. Adam and Charity McIntyre had heard all sorts about themselves and the. Two had become so immune to the press, they had turned off.

The dentist and vet watched their 2 year old son, Reuben, play with his bricks before his bedtimes as they reminisce about life during Americas’s most eligible, the good times, the bad, the time that Carson had lost control, the time Vince was so determined to ruin them as a couple, not to mention the time Charity bagged themselves the dream team for their wedding.

“I think we had the time of our lives in the villa” Charity murmured and her husband smiled, he had never felt so content than he did at this moment, through the ups and downs they experienced as reality stars, he knew somehow, one day, it would be worth it. They lived in a beautiful house with a beautiful garden, close to the beach, they were close to Reuben’s nursery and their individual practices where Adam worked as head vet and where Charity worked as a paediatric dentist. Life was good. They had a little family.

Flipping through the photo album, a laugh erupted from Adam making his wife frown. She took her eyes off the toddler for a moment to see a cute selfie of her, Adam, Jen, Derek and Mackenzie had took when they had pancakes out after the pair had wed, Charity missed their friends so much, they had been such.a big part of both of their lives and now, they had a son and other commitments, they barely got them see them.

“I remember that day, Jen was so excited to get us all back together” Charity murmured. Reuben toddled over to his mum and dad.

“Mummy” He frowns and Charity reached down to him, picking him up in her arms, sitting him on her lap.

“Hey cutie, who's that in the picture” She pointed to Mackenzie and the little boy giggle.

“Aunt KenKen” He cheered, and his parents laughed.

“What about her?” Charity asks, pointing at Jen in the picture.

“Aunt Jen” The little boy exclaimed excitedly, kissing his fingers and putting them on Jen in the picture.

“Who's that?” Adam asks, pointing at himself in the photo, the young boy was getting excited, he loved photographs, he may not understand them yet but he loves to look at them.

“Daddy!” The little boy clapped his hand, wiggling in his mothers arms before kissing his fingers and placing them on Charity in the picture. “Mummy! My. Mummy!” He giggled, it was true as day, the little tot was a mummy’s boy through and through.

Adam flipped a few pages to a photo of him, his wife and his son on the day he was born, the memory of holding him in his arms for the first time always seemed to choke him up.

“Reuben look its you as a little baby” Charity tapped the photo and her son leaned forward, examining the photograph with his eyes.

“You were so tiny, and you were so excited to meet mummy you came super quick” Adam reminisces, tickling his sons stomach gently and the little boy cackled with delight, he was so perfect, just like his mother.

“You are still mummy’s little baby now, aren't you?” She cooed softly, tickling her son, pressing kisses all over his face, making sure to make the little boy giggle.

“I can’t wait till we get to make more memories as a family” Adam spoke softly as his arm wrapped around Charity and she smiled.

“I can’t wait either, we have such a perfect little family” She responded and the three of them settled down for a little bit, before Reuben’s bedtime. They knew little moments just like this would be just as perfect memories as the first steps their son took. Every perfect moment was memory worthy.

[mrae71]

Pugilistic Pursuits

Pugilistic Pursuits

                In late 1950, Rudy turned 20.  He had grown into a handsome young man and like his father, quite a boxer, to his grandmother’s dismay.  He had inherited the old man’s almost supernatural ability to take a pounding and coupled it with lightning speed and cat-like agility.  It also helped that he packed a wallop that defied his slender 160-pound frame.

              He had started boxing at the behest of his pal, Timmy, a few years before, and to his surprise, immediately started having success, besting opponents that exceeded his weight and reach.  A local gym owner noticed him and offered to train him properly. Rudy turned him down initially, he wasn’t able to afford to pay for training, not with room, board and giving his mother money for a brood that seemed to keep expanding.  Since his departure, Bertha, Lawrence, Clarence, Gordon and little Derek had arrived on the scene, and as a young adult, he was becoming more and more inclined to keep some of his earnings to himself for dating and fun. Walter, the gym owner saw a champion in the youngster and cut a deal with him, training and all the ring time he wanted in exchange for cleaning the facility.  Rudy jumped at the chance.  He thought maybe, just maybe, boxing would be his way out, his way to make something of himself.  He was beginning to look toward the future now, about settling down, having a family and these odd jobs, while fine for the time being, weren’t what he wanted for his future family.  He figured times would be easier now, Black boxers weren’t quite as rare as they had been, so he was hopeful he’d get a fair shake.

              Walter had his work cut out for him.  Rudy was an explosion of raw talent, but with no discipline, no conditioning, aside from the physical labour he did for a living, and no real training.  He had won his first dozen fights with pure endurance and brut force.  To make it to the top, he needed more; he needed to transform himself from a simple street fighting kid to a serious boxer.

              Rudy, for his part, didn’t take to training well at first.  He was fine with the exercises, but he had a difficult time being told what to eat, how to punch, and how often to train, especially by a 5 foot tall, 250 pound white guy who seemed to love donuts and cigars more than life itself.  He couldn’t, however, argue with the results. He was feeling stronger, faster, and more powerful than ever.

              Chomping on a half-smoked cigar, Water threw out a suggestion one Saturday evening as Rudy swept the gym floor, “you ever think about the Olympics, there kid?”

              Rudy paused.  He hadn’t given it any consideration at all.  The Olympics seemed like a far-off pipe dream, like something he’d lay in bed and wonder about, but never have.  People like him didn’t go to the Olympics.  He laughed, “yeah, right!”

              His coach stood up, “no,” he said emphatically, “I’m serious, I think you could be a champion.  I think we should put you on the trial circuit.”

              Rudy continued to sweep and laugh.  The Olympics!  It sounded ridiculous to him, “yeah, sure,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his mouth, “let’s go to the Olympics.”

              Walter clapped his hands in delight, “okay, son, now you’re talking!” he smiled, “training 6 days a week now, no exceptions, you understand me?”

              Rudy paused.  This guy was serious.  “You’re nuts,” he told him.

              “Nuts like a fox, young fella, nuts like a fox,” he replied, “you got the goods kid, I’m telling ya’, you got it!”

              The youthful boxer allowed the possibilities to flood his mind, the cheering crowds, the newspapers coming around all dying to talk to him, everyone knowing his name.  Maybe it was possible, he began to entertain the notion, maybe he could BE somebody!  Now fired up, he agreed, “let’s do it, Walt!”

              Walter leapt slightly, showing his joy. “Alright then,” he ordered, “see you at 6 am sharp tomorrow!”

              Rudy stood firm, “nope, got work.”

              “Well what time then?”

              The lanky youth pondered, “got work, gotta eat,” he said, “7, 7 at night.  I can work out ‘till 10 and then clean up.”

              Walter shook his hand, beaming with pride and plotting his future.  This boy was going to be his ticket. His ticket to the big time!  His ticket out of this backwater nowhere border town. He was going to ride this kid as far as he could take him!

              Training was grueling, 3 to 4 hours 6 days a week. On top of working and cleaning the gym, Rudy was on the go 18 to 20 hours a day.  It left very little time for fun, but at least he had his best buddies Timmy Nelson with him.  He had insisted that if he were going to do this, he wanted them by his side and in his corner at fights.  Walter was happy to oblige and both Timmy and Nelson were thrilled to help out.

              Timmy and Rudy knew each other for years.  He was a diminutive and dark skinned with a quick wit and ready smile.  He excelled at almost every sport he turned his hand to, hockey, baseball, basketball, you name it, he showed up heads and shoulders above his much larger competition. It was no exaggeration to say he was something of a legend in town.

              Nelson and Rudy were old rivals.  In their school days, Nelson used to hide behind the trees and yell racial slurs at Rudy.  He was tall, slightly overweight and had the whitest hair and pinkest skin Rudy had ever seen.  When the boys were 8, Nelson taunted Rudy for the last time.  Although small at the time, Rudy was able to outrun the larger boy. Despite their difference in size, Rudy gave him a pummelling he wouldn’t soon forget. In fact, he blackened both his eyes.

              Nelson’s father brought the battered child directly to Rudy’s house, demanding Reuben Senior “do something” about his son.  Rudy still remembers the look on his father’s face as he stared at Nelson’s father, a larger carbon copy of the boy, then at Nelson, then at Rudy, who was at least 5 inches shorter and 70 pounds lighter than his opponent.  He didn’t ask his son why the boys fought; Rudy suspected he knew.  He looked at Nelson’s dad and told him he had about 10 seconds to get himself and his son out of his sight otherwise he’d give him some of what the boy got from Rudy.  The man muttered something under his breath and took his son home.

              After the fight, the boys became friends.  As they got older, their favourite pastime was to cross the international border into Houlton, Maine.  They’d catch a movie, get something to eat and try to meet some of the American girls.  Invariably, they’d end up getting into a fight with some of the American boys and it didn’t take long until they were really crossing the border more to look for a fight than to do anything else.

              The first few fights on the trial circuit were tough.  Rudy’s technique and training weren’t yet up to par with many of the other fighters who had formally trained for years and who had paid coaches.  But he managed to win each one.  That old Johnson hard head came in handy; he could take more punishment than anyone Walter had ever seen and by the time the bell rang for the final round, his opponents were invariably exhausted and Rudy, somehow fresh as a daisy, swooped in with a powerhouse right hook and ended the fight.

              As the months went on, Walter trained him on technical skills, blocking, getting in and out quickly.  He figured, the kid has fists of fury, he could knock out a horse, no need to work harder than he needed to.

              The opponents were more and more challenging as he proceeded through the process, but Rudy sailed through.  Soon, he had become something of a sensation, the skinny young boxer with devastating good looks, an iron skull and deadly fists. He revelled in the attention.  He wasn’t used to being celebrated.  Girls started hanging around.  All kinds of girls, black girls, even white girls. He didn’t have to ask them out, they asked him!  He wasn’t comfortable with that.  He liked the attention, but if he ever told Grannie that a girl asked him out…! Well, there’s be hell to pay.  He knew she wouldn’t approve of such forward behaviour, and he wasn’t quite sure about it either.  It didn’t matter, Walter told him strictly, “no women during training,” it apparently had something to do with conserving energy. Rudy didn’t much like being told that, but luckily for Timmy and Nelson, most of the girls were just happy to be in his orbit, and if dating his pals kept them there, so be it.

              Timmy never said a word about any of the girls. Rudy knew full well he took some of them out, but it didn’t seem he took any one of them out more than twice.  But Nelson, well, all he wanted to do was talk. He was never great around the ladies; he was crass and awkward and sometime prone to have one too many.  But he got his share of the groupies and he bragged incessantly about it.  Rudy was secretly jealous, seeing his pals have all the fun, but he also knew that he was working toward something bigger and further, that these girls weren’t the type he wanted.  He wanted a girl to marry, to have a family with someday, but that didn’t mean that the fact that his friends were out having a good time without him didn’t sting.

              The sacrifices paid off and Rudy found himself invited to the finals in the spring of 1951.  Walter was beyond excited!  He decided the four of them would travel the 14 hours together in his Studebaker to save money.  He also didn’t want the three boys let loose in the city.  He knew none of them had been anywhere and he was sure the city would eat them alive.  The truth was he had never been to a large city either, but he figured he knew what went on there better than any 21-year-old kid.

              Rudy couldn’t believe the city.  He’d never seen buildings so tall or so close together. He had never seen so many people walking around.  And the women!  There were women everywhere, all over the downtown, dressed in fine clothes and hats, seeming to be in a hurry.  “Where’s all the women going?” he asked.

              Walter laughed at the silly country boy, “to work, son, to work,” he explained, “ya see, in the city, women work, as secretaries, telephone operators, stenographers, that sort of thing.”

              Timmy chimed in, “they husbands don’t mind?”

              “No,” Walter answered, trying on a fake big city air of sophistication, or at least what he figured one would sound like, “city folks are different that way.”

              The 3 young men nodded.  Everything looked so different.  There were just so many people, so many cars, just a lot of everything, everything except fields and trees.  Although Rudy’s eyes were big as saucers, taking it all in, there was something about it he found unsettling.  He felt uncomfortable, squeezed somehow, like there was no room for him.  “I don’t think I could ever live in the city,” he said.

              Walter laughed heartily at his protégé’s naivete, “you hit the big time, kid, and you’ll learn to love the city!”

              “Naw,” he protested, “I just want a wife and a house and about 14 kids, but in the country.”

              “When you’re famous, you’ll change your mind,” Walter assured him.

              Nelson agreed, “yeah, you sure will and if you don’t, I’ll take your place,” he stared out the window longingly, “I’d give anything to live in the city!”

              Walter turned the car into the parking lot of a 12 story building as the boys gasped, “this here’s the Plaza Hotel, boys,” he announced, “it’s where we’re staying.  We stay tonight, fights tomorrow and we stay tomorrow night, get rested and leave the next morning.”

              The boys grunted, they had no words, they’d never seen a real hotel.  The closest thing to a hotel Woodstock had was Beatrice’s rooming house, an old farmhouse that rented rooms to people passing through and men coming for work, mostly for the annual potato harvest.

              Timmy swallowed hard, “Walt,” he asked tentatively, “do these hotel people know me and Rudy are, you know, umm, coloured?”

              Walter laughed again, “it ain’t Alabama, they don’t care, they know who we are and they know our money’s green!”

              Timmy pressed on, “I just, we just, well, we don’t want trouble.”

              Walter reassured him, “there won’t be any trouble. Now, we have 2 rooms, one for me, one for you 3.  There’s 2 beds and a cot, Rudy gets a bed, he needs his rest for the fight, you 2 can fight it out over the other one.”

              Timmy shrugged, “’tween me and Nelson, I’m the only one gonna fit on the cot,” he teased.

              Nelson wasn’t going to argue with that, “sounds right to me, Tim.”

              The boys stood several feet back as Walter approached the front desk to check them in, in awe of how at ease, how wised up and citified he seemed.  He received keys and turned back and nodded.  A porter picked Rudy’s bag up.

              Rudy quickly snatched the bag from his hand, “’scuse me, sir,” he said, “but that’s my bag.”

              The porter, a scrawny kid with sandy hair and pimples dropped the bag and took a step back, “I know, sir, just carrying it for you, is all.”

              Rudy’s face reddened with embarrassment.  He had no idea there was a job that required people to carry bags while wearing fancy suits.  He apologized, “sorry man,” he said, “I didn’t know.”  He tried to explain, “I’m from the country, ain’t never been to a big fancy hotel, so I, well I thought you were stealin’ my bag or something.  I really am sorry, I feel some foolish!”

              The porter smiled, “it’s okay, man, you’re here for the boxing, aren’t you?’

              Rudy nodded.

              “Yeah, man,” the kid said excitedly, “I know you, you’re that Johnson cat!  You’re smooth man, real smooth!”

              Rudy smiled, “thanks.”

              “Yeah, I’m rootin’ for ya’, I really am.”

              Walter interjected, “thank you,  young man,” he dismissed the porter, “we can manage, thank you, but I would be obliged if you could tell us where a decent and reasonable place to eat would be nearby.”

              The porter nodded and took a couple steps back, “sure can,” he said, “’bout a block and a half down that way,” he pointed, “there’s a place called Hank’s Chophouse, steaks, ribs, potatoes, all that stuff, and real good prices, reasonable, and food’s pretty good.”

              Water reached into his pocket and handed the young man a few coins, “thank you,” he smiled, “I’m sorry, your name?”

              The young man grinned, “yes sir, my name’s David, if you need anything, call down and ask for me.  If it’s okay with you, I’ll show you to your rooms.”

              Walter nodded and looked about at his crew who followed his lead.

              When the boys got to their room, they were like kids in a candy store.  They’d never seen anything like it, two queen sized beds, a cot, folded in the corner a huge wooden dresser and a desk with a telephone and a radio.  Nelson threw himself on one of the beds and let out a whoop, “man, this is class!’ he squealed.  Rudy and Timmy joined him, one on his bed and Rudy on his and let out whoops of their own.  The mattresses were so firm, so comfortable and the carpet beneath their feet was so plush.

              Rudy was the first to get off the bed, he walked to the first open door, “holy shit!” he exclaimed, “there’s a bathroom, a toilet, a sink and a tub!  I think it’s just for us!”

              Timmy got up and checked it out, and looking around the room, seeing no other doors connecting to the washroom reasoned, “yeah, looks like it’s ours.”

              They bounced around on the beds like toddlers for a while, then checked out the tiny bottles of mouthwash, shampoo and lotion. Walter knocked on the door. Nelson answered, letting him inside, “hey, Walt,” he asked, “the bathroom, that’s just for us, right?”

              Walter giggled, placing a fat hand on Nelson’s chest, “yes, each room has its own lavatory.”

              Nelson looked at him, confused.

              Timmy hollered, “Walt, ya can’t talk classy to Nelson, he don’t know what a lavatory is.”  He turned to Nelson, “shitter’s just for us, man.”

              Walter couldn’t help but laugh out loud.  Timmy was right.  Nelson wasn’t one for graceful terms.  “It’s almost 6,” he said, “are you guys hungry?”

              Rudy was starving, he was always hungry, training burned more calories than he could seem to get in.  In fact, he had a difficult time maintaining his middleweight status, often dropping 2 or 3 pounds below the mark and then having to take drastic measures. “Starving, boss,” he replied.

              Walter looked at him hard, “you, 2 steaks, baked potato, no booze, got it?”

              Rudy nodded, “you know I don’t drink.”

              “Milk,” Walter commanded, “milk to drink, you need all the protein you can get.”

              Rudy pondered, “I want a hot hamburg, mashed potatoes, then a steak and a baked potato.”

              Walter nodded, “you know it’s your dime, but yeah, that’ll work.”

              Rudy nodded.  He saved plenty of money.

              Timmy piped up, a mischievous grin on his face, “hey Walt,” he asked, “can we drink?”

              Walter knew exactly what Timmy was up to, “I don’t care what you two do,” he quipped, “as long as you’re in the corner at 8 pm tomorrow, sharp!”

              Timmy and Nelson giggled and nodded.  They had some plans for the night.  Plans that didn’t involve going back to the hotel room with Rudy after supper.  Walter knew what was on their minds, “watch yourselves, boys,” he warned, “some of these city girls, well, I’m not sure how to say it, but they’ll wanna be paid for a good time.”

              “How much?” Nelson blurted, “I got a whole $30 I had saved.”

              Timmy reached out and snatched a few of the bills Nelson waved around, “yeah, well this room is 6 bucks a night, that’s $2 each, so take $4 outta that, and you hafta eat, not just tonight, but tomorrow too.”

              Walter grabbed a dollar, “and this is for gas!”

              Nelson grinned, “I still got plenty,” he said, “besides, I’m not paying for no woman, I’m going to meet my wife tonight.”

              The entire room erupted in uproarious laughter. Nelson was always convinced he was going to meet his wife, every woman he met was “the one,” until she wasn’t.

              Hank’s Chophouse was a western themed joint with pretty waitresses and a jovial atmosphere.  The music was loud and the place was packed.  Walter marched in as if he were a regular, “Reuben Johnson, Olympic trials, table for 4.”  He said it with such authority the boys felt important.

              The hostess politely showed them to their table. Rudy and Timmy were so giddy they could hardly contain it. No one seemed to notice they were Black, and if they did, they sure did a great job of hiding it.  Rudy began to think if that’s what the city was, maybe it wasn’t half bad.

              The meal was delicious.  Rudy’s 2 meals were delicious.  Walter tried to persuade him to order his steak medium-rare, but he insisted on it being well done.  He even ordered a nice slice of apple pie with ice cream.

              Nelson ordered lobster.  He had heard of it.  He’d never had it, he had no idea what to do with it once it arrived.  It scared him a bit, that red dead thing, those eyes laying there.  It was creepy, but it was the most expensive thing on the menu and the waitress was his future wife, he was certain of it.  She was tiny, about 5 feet tall, with a perfectly starched uniform, blonde hair pulled back in a neat bun and huge soulful blue eyes.  Her name was Madeline.

              Timmy ordered something called lasagna.  He wasn’t sure what it was, he’d never had it, but it was meat, noodles, cheese and tomato sauce, how bad could it be? Turns out it was pretty darn good. Timmy also liked Madeline, but she seemed to be eyeing Rudy.

              Madeline fussed over Rudy, asking about the following day’s fight, wishing him luck, fawning over him.  Walter kept inserting himself into the conversation, letting her know he was the man behind the man, the manager, the trainer.  Rudy fancied her, he liked white women, he also liked Black women, he just liked beautiful women, it didn’t matter to him what race they were, even if society did care.  She ended up spending the night with Timmy, something that almost brought him and Nelson to fisticuffs.

              She had her own apartment in the city.  The boys were incredulous, a woman with her own apartment!  They didn’t see Timmy until fight time, and when he did show up, he was grinning from ear to ear.

              The Colosseum was the biggest venue Rudy had ever seen. There was an electricity to the place, an excitement he couldn’t put his finger on.  He had gotten a decent night sleep, Timmy was out all night, not surfacing until 10 am.

              Rudy’s opponent was a white kid named Lyle from Toronto, he had an 8 pound advantage and an inch and a half reach on him, he was, according to Walter, a workhorse that needed to be taken out in the first round. He had a fancy promoter and manager, James Giles, a short, stout man with rings on all his fingers and smelling of bourbon and cigarettes.

              Before the fight, Mr. Giles called Rudy and Walter into the office he held at the venue.  They obliged.  In the dingy office, the men shook hands and chatted politely about the trip, the weather and other mundane things.  He offered them a drink, which they declined.  He offered them a seat, which they declined. Rudy wasn’t sure, but something about this Giles character felt off, somehow.

              He began talking about “his boy,” Lyle, and how important it was for him to win.  Walter picked up what he was putting down and slammed his fist on the pressboard desk, “my boy don’t throw fights!”

              Giles opened his desk drawer, pulled out a revolver and set it on the desktop.  He leaned back, folding his hands.  He grinned a menacing grin, “I’m sure we understand each other, gentlemen?

              Walter nodded furiously, terrified as Rudy stood silent, shellshocked.  He’d never experienced anything like this before, but he didn’t like the taste of it. He and Walter walked back to the ring in silence, knowing what they had to do.

              Rudy took a minute to speak to Nelson and Timmy. They nodded in understanding. Everyone appeared to be in agreement about what had to happen.

              The first round was brutal.  Rudy was beat six ways from Sunday by his opponent.  He seemed, to the ring announcer, off his game, not up to the big city fights.

              Having taken the beating, Rudy summoned Walter over to his corner, “go have a smoke in the car,” he said, “I don’t want you to see me go down.”

              Walter nodded, he knew Rudy was proud and he didn’t want to add insult to injury by watching the kid throw the most important fight of his life.  Sad truth was, he wasn’t ready for the mean streets of the city and neither was he.

              The bell rang and Walter went outside, Giles followed him, secure in the knowledge his boy would win.  Rudy came out and met the white boy, gave him one good right hook and knocked him out cold!  They didn’t wait around for the decision; it was way beyond that by this time.  It was a matter of principle.  Rudy landed the final blow to the cheers and jeers of the crowd, and the trio bolted, running from the Coliseum as fast as their legs could carry them!  They met Walter outside and Timmy hollered, “car, now!”

              Walter waddled to the car as fast as his legs could carry him, which wasn’t nearly as fast as they wanted, but it was faster than James Giles could get inside and find out what happened.

              Walter was confused, Rudy had to explain, “I don’t fall down for nobody,” he said, “I might not be going to no Olympics, but I knocked that clown clean out!”

              Walter sat in the car, stunned.  He was scared, terrified, visions of the gun flashing before his eyes.

              “Drive, Walt!” Timmy yelled, “Drive!”

              Walter hesitated, “what about our stuff?”

              Timmy continued to yell, “you want some stupid clothes or you wanna live?  Drive man!”

              And with that, they drove away from the city and back to Woodstock.  Rudy wouldn’t be credited with the win as he left the ring, but he knew he won, he knew he didn’t throw the fight.  The Johnsons were a lot of things, but weren’t none of them quitters or cowards, and at least he still had that.

[racingtoaredlight]

The first 1st round, an RTARL mock NFL draft: 2017

I meant this to be a lot jokier but that seems like more effort than making up a mock draft. The first of 38 drafts between now and April 27th.

This is based on the current order and doesn’t account for trades. The RTARLgorithm is on ice since it was hacked by Russians. Yes, just like the power grid.

1. CLEVELAND BROWNS

Josh Allen, QB, Wyoming

I don’t really have an opinion of Allen but after Carson Wentz was drafted #2 overall and didn’t shit himself every second of every game this seems like a sure thing lock. Myles Garrett is way too good for the Browns anyway.

2. SAN FRANCISCO 49ers

Deshaun Watson, QB, Clemson

It should be fun to look back on this in a few months and laugh that I’m basing this pick on the idea that Clemson will beat Alabama and that the 49ers will have a GM and coach in place by the time the draft happens.

3. CHICAGO BEARS

Cam Robinson, LT, Alabama

I don’t pretend to know what offensive line prospects belong in which scheme or at which pick but I’m guessing the Bears also fuck up and pass on Myles Garrett.

4. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

Myles Garrett, DE, Texas A&M

Garrett and Yannick Ngakoue will be holy terrors together. Garrett is the best. He’s gonna destroy teams right away next year.

5. TENNESSEE TITANS

Adoree Jackson, CB, USC

Draft Twitter doesn’t even pretend to know how the defensive backs all stack up right now and I don’t know how bad Jackson’s injury was in the Pro Bowl.

6. NEW YORK JETS

Jamal Adams, S, LSU

Adams could end up the best player in the draft. Unless of course he ends up on the Jets.

7. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

Mike Williams, WR, Clemson

I’ve got this weird notion that Phil Rivers is going to have an end of career resurgence that pushes him into the Hall of Fame. One really good receiver would help immensely on that path.

8. CAROLINA PANTHERS

Leonard Fournette, RB, LSU

This actually seems like a terrible idea but I also thought Cam Newton was going to be a massive bust. Do the Panthers really value the RB position enough to do this? Probably not.

9. CINCINNATI BENGALS

Jabrill Peppers, ???, Michigan

This would be a hilariously awful pick that would somehow work out pretty well for a couple of years. Typical Bengals IMO.

10. BUFFALO BILLS

Quincy Wilson, CB, Florida

I have to check to see if this guy gets injured enough for the Bills to take a chance on him.

11. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

Malik Hooker, S, Ohio State

If this seems like I know anything about what I’m doing here you need to stop. I’m just banging out content.

12. CLEVELAND BROWNS

Jonathan Allen, DL, Alabama

I don’t know how possible this is but I just thought of the idea of the Browns ending up with Garrett and Allen and then getting a QB with the first pick in the second round and becoming good next year. No way the Browns become good ever.

13. ARIZONA CARDINALS

Zach Cunningham, LB, Vanderbilt

I don’t really have an opinion of Cunningham and I didn’t realize the Cardinals were so bad this year.

14. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

Ryan Ramczyk, OL, Wisconsin

I’m just picking names out of a hat. A shitty offensive lineman who never helps the team at all is the idea here. Might start looking at QBs if they’re smart.

15. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

Dalvin Cook, RB, Florida State

I plan on hating Cook forever. He’s Joe Mixon without a security camera.

16. BALTIMORE RAVENS

Takkarist McKinley, DL, UCLA

This seems like the kind of lucky pick the Ravens get every year. Taco Christ McCinley is a superstar in the short term.

17. WASHINGTON REDSKINS

Reuben Foster, LB, Alabama

Or they could just let Kris Cousings walk and draft a shitty QB with this pick.

18. TENNESSEE TITANS

David Njoku, TE, Miami

Njoku is going to blow up on draft twitter after the combine. He’s going to put up Vernon Davis numbers but with a twist that he’s actually a good football player, too.

19. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS

Tim Williams, DL, Alabama

Another guy I don’t have any real idea about. But I saw his name written down with nice words after and I’m convinced he’ll be great. I could be crazy but I think this is going to be a pretty strong draft.

20. DENVER BRONCOS

Roderick Johnson, OL, Florida State

The Broncos offense is a wasteland so who knows how many different directions they can go here. They got a QB in the first round last year so probably any other position is in play.

21. DETROIT LIONS

Derek Barnett, DE, Tennessee

Barnett is gonna be a huge bust so I’ve got him going way later than other people but the truth is that he’ll get drafted in the top 10.

22. MIAMI DOLPHINS

DeMarcus Walker, DE, Florida State

Walker straight up sucks as an NFL prospect and the Dolphins will go back to normal in short order. This is a match made in heaven.

23. OAKLAND RAIDERS

Desmond King, CB, Iowa

The last Iowa guy I can remember going to Oakland is one of the biggest busts of all time. I think King will be really good even though he’s gonna measure at like 5′9″ during the combine.

24. GREEN BAY PACKERS

Corey Davis, WR, Western Michigan

I don’t think of WR as a huge area of need for the Packers but I felt like throwing Davis’s name out there at about 24 and the Packers are kind of hard to predict in general.

25. HOUSTON TEXANS

Antonio Garcia, LT, Troy

I’ve, uh, sure, totally studied the tape on... Garcia. And he’s a good kid. Lots of great intel coming out of Turkey Alabama about this Antonio Garcia kid.

26. ATLANTA FALCONS

Caleb Brantley, DT, Florida

Another guy who will probably go way earlier than where I’m putting him. My guessing is bad even when I’m trying so don’t even pay attention to this shit.

27. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

Raekwon McMillan, LB, Ohio State I’m kind of hoping the Chiefs end up with Brad Kaaya but I can’t really justify even in this silliest of thought wasters.

28. DALLAS COWBOYS

Jourdan Lewis, CB, Michigan

Lewis might be too small for anybody to draft him in the first round. I don’t really know how fast he is, either. But you people need content.

29. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

Montravious Adams, DT, Auburn

Everybody seems to want the Seahawks to draft an OL so they’ll do that in the 6th round and get an immediate All-Pro.

30. PITTSBURGH STEELERS

Haason Reddick, LB, Temple

I don’t think anybody has Reddick in the first round but the Steelers need an OLB and he’s just weird enough and good enough to be perfect for Pittsburgh.

31. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

Kendell Beckwith, LB, LSU

I don’t really know anything about Beckwith but it says LSU next to his name so I assume he’s crazy athletic and way better than people realize.

32. NEW YORK GIANTS

Malik McDowell, DT, Michigan State

Just for the sake of Sparty.

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[eagles]

Eagles Mock Draft Version 2: Trading Down in Round 1

McCaffrey could find himself on top of the Eagles’ pile of draft picks. Photo: Kirby Lee, USA TODAY Sports

Did signing Alshon Jeffery, Torrey Smith and Chance Warmack alter the Eagles’ draft plan?

No.  You know why?  Because it’s highly likely this has been their plan since the offseason began.  Focus on Wide Receiver in free agency and then have the draft be their primary resource to address the defense (aside from finding a Running Back).

In fact, they could very well be following the plan I laid out here back in February.  If the Eagles couldn’t get Jeffery and/or Smith, then THAT is what would likely have altered their draft strategy.

To the chagrin of some, it is highly unlikely the Eagles will take a WR with their first round pick now.  For those hoping for Corey Davis, Mike Williams or John Ross, you will be disappointed (only exception is if Ross drops to the 2nd round after shoulder surgery).

The Eagles just have too many holes still to fill, mostly on the defensive side now.  They have so many needs that they could still legitimately go in several different directions with their first pick. The only positions I’m ruling out are QB, WR and TE.

I recently wrote an article talking about why it’s not a bad idea for the Eagles to trade back in this draft. After writing that and thinking about it some more, I am starting to really warm up to that idea.

Therefore, I decided to do a mock exercise to see what it could look like if the Eagles traded back and added a premium pick to their draft haul this year.

*For the record, there are a couple of players that, if there at 14, I would not trade back.  I’ll get into that another time though.

On to the mock…

The Eagles are on the clock at pick 14 and a few of their top targets are off the board. However, Corey Davis is just sitting there waiting to be plucked.  Eagles fans are in a frenzy hoping they take him.

But, the Detroit Lions…after a season in which they missed Calvin Johnson…are just too enamored with Davis and want him badly.  They give the Eagles picks 21 and 53 (their 2nd rounder) in order to move up.

That gives the Eagles three picks in the top 53 in a draft that Daniel Jeremiah believes there are 70 players worthy of top 50 status.

1.RB Christian McCaffrey, 5′ 11″ 202 lbs, Stanford

The Eagles have not been linked to McCaffrey in any way as of yet.  However, that doesn’t mean anything at this point.  My bet is that he’ll end up visiting with the Eagles and/or working out for them.

McCaffrey certainly fits Doug Pederson’s offense perfectly.  He would end up being Pederson’s version of Brian Westbrook and use him the way Reid used Westy…and then some.

Is it a stretch to think they’ll use their first round pick on a RB?  Every Eagles beat writer will say it’ll never happen based on the team’s history as well as Joe Douglas’ history.

I’m here to say that I think it’s not as much of a long shot as everyone may think.

Remember, Roseman wants to do all he can to ensure Carson Wentz succeeds.  Giving him Jeffery, Smith and then a player like McCaffrey will immensely help that goal.  McCaffrey can do it all…he can be utilized in so many different ways, his value is exceptional.

In fact, I would view him as the better overall football player as compared to any CB who will likely still be on the board.  Lattimore will be long gone and Sidney Jones is injured.  Are players like  Marlon Humphrey, Tre’Davious White or Gareon Conley  truly worth the 14th pick?

I like those players, but they have enough questions that I don’t see any of them as a “must take” at 14.

I think McCaffrey is a more talented football player over those guys…and Daniel Jeremiah agrees.  He has McCaffrey ranked ahead of all of them in his last top-50 player ranking.

So, the question I ask you is this: If Reuben Foster, Derek Barnett and Marshon Lattimore are all off the board when the Eagles are on the clock, exactly who is “worth” pick 14 that the Eagles should absolutely not consider trading down?

And don’t say Corey Davis, Mike Williams or John Ross…the Eagles will not be selecting any of them.

Their first round pick will almost certainly be either a DE, CB or, you guessed it, a Running Back.  If the Eagles can trade down, get the extra pick and still land a player like McCaffrey…I’m all for it.

Furthermore, how about this angle to consider: the draft is in Philadelphia, maybe Howie Roseman will want to make a pick that will electrify Eagles fans.  Picking McCaffrey would certainly thrill the fans more-so than Gareon Conley.

I’ll admit that this is more of a what I would want them to do kind of pick rather than a what I think they will do kind of pick.

2. CB Adoree Jackson,  5’ 10” 186 lbs, USC

The Eagles obviously cannot wait any longer to start addressing the CB position and get started by taking the ultra-versatile Jackson.  Jackson, like McCaffrey, also “does it all.”

He is a skilled athlete and dangerous with the ball in his hands.  Last season, he scored twice on punt returns, twice on kickoff returns and once on offense.  He also recorded 11 pass break-ups and five INTs while immensely improving as a cover corner.  Jackson also has no problem defending the run and isn’t afraid to take on ball carriers.

Jackson appears to play with confidence, a trait that Jim Schwartz is said to like in a CB.  The fact that he’s also a playmaker should make him even more of interest.

2. DE Derek Rivers, 6’ 4” 248 lbs, Youngstown State

Rivers is strong, fast and has a good burst off the line and would be an excellent fit in Schwartz’ Wide-9 alignment.  Last season he posted 19 tackles for a loss, including 14 sacks.  His small school status is what will keep him from being drafted too early, but he dominated at his level and his stock has been soaring over the last month or so.

The Eagles absolutely have to address the DE position, and do it relatively early in the draft.  One of the best ways to help your secondary is to pressure the QB.

3. CB/S Desmond King,  5’ 10” 201 lbs, Iowa

For some reason, I love Desmond King for the Eagles.  I just think this guy is a good all-around football player.  He is one of the more physical CBs in this draft and has a workman-like attitude.

For the Eagles’ purposes, I think he would start out as the slot CB and would slide to Safety in the event of an injury.  As much as I like Malcolm Jenkins, he will turn 30 this season.  So, I see King as his eventual replacement.

King reminds me a little bit of Sheldon Brown.  They’re approximately the same size, seem to have similar personalities and approach to the game.  I can see King being the eventual leader of the Secondary once Jenkins moves on.

Over the past two seasons, King has 20 pass break-ups and 11 INTs in addition to being named the winner of the Jim Thorpe Award (in 2015), which goes to the nation’s best defensive back.

In fact, with the Eagles grabbing Jackson and King they’d have the past two Jim Thorpe Award winners in their Secondary!

4. CB Howard Wilson, 6’ 1” 184 lbs, Houston

Yes, the Eagles have triple-dipped in the defensive back pool!  And with good reason, they simply need bodies!  However, Wilson is more than just a body…

He has good length and tested extremely well at the Combine in the short-shuttle and 3-cone drills (92 and 90% respectively).  Last season he posted 10 pass break-ups and five INTs, which was his first season as a full time starter.

Wilson is seen as a talented, yet raw prospect with more refinement needed.  Some feel that if he returned to school for his Senior season, he could have developed into more of a first or second round prospect.  This lack of refinement is why he may still be available in Round 4 and could turn out to be a steal.

  4. DT Ryan Glasgow, 6’ 3” 302 lbs, Michigan

The Eagles continue their defensive restoration by addressing the DT position.  Bennie Logan is gone and even though Beau Allen is a decent player, they don’t have much behind him.

Glasgow’s stock has slowly been gaining steam as of late and it’s getting questionable if he’d be available at this slot.  I wouldn’t be opposed to taking him earlier or perhaps trading up a bit from here to nab him if necessary.  Here’s a scouting report on him from Pro Football Focus…

Stats to know: Ranked second in pass-rush productivity among interior defensive linemen with 37 total pressures.

What he does best:

Excellent awareness, locates ball carriers consistently and recognizes passing lanes to deflect passes.

Exceptional instincts, senses offensive influence countering traps and screens effectively.

Power to disengage with active hands. Rarely blocked cleanly.

Impressive first step, fires off the ball from both a 3- and 4-point stance.

Good anchor, sinks his hips to negate vertical movement vs. double teams.

High motor, chases everything and works to whistle as a pass-rusher.

Displays excellent hand placement and variety rushing the passer, forces offensive lineman to overextend with the arm over and club moves in particular.

Nightmare to block on the backside of zone.

Length (32 ¾-inch arms) makes it tough on offensive lineman to reach his frame.

Biggest concern:

Unable to consistently redirect in the backfield to track down elusive ball carriers.

Vulnerable to cut blocks because of his emphasis on delivering the initial strike.

Frequently loses his balance moving laterally vs run, struggles to narrow lanes on the front side of outside zone.

Despite impressive strength, only rarely utilizes the bull rush, lacks conviction when employing power moves.

Player comparison: Jay Ratliff

Glasgow has the size, strength, and athleticism to line up anywhere between the tackles and still provide some pass rush. Ratliff won through the edge of offensive linemen consistently much like Glasgow.

Bottom line: Glasgow is an atypical nose tackle in some respects. He possesses the lateral agility to make fools of interior offensive lineman as a pass-rusher, but appears reluctant to collapse the pocket using his evident power. His strength does prove an asset against the run, where he displays classic stack and shed technique, but there remain a couple vulnerabilities within his skillset. Regardless, Glasgow was incredibly productive as a senior, and represents a safe option for an NFL defensive line rotation.

5. LB Vince Biegel, 6’ 3” 246 lbs, Wisconsin

Linebacker is an underrated need for this team.  With Kendricks on the way out (seemingly), the Eagles could really use some depth and competition here.  Jordan Hicks is a budding star but also has an injury history dating back to his college time.  Nigel Bradham was solid last year and should remain a starter.  But, after that?

Bryan Braman is still unsigned.  It’s possible the Eagles are waiting it out with him or just simply moving on.  This is where Biegel comes in…he will step right in as a key Special Teams contributor and provide depth — if not competition for a starting role – at the LB position.  Biegel tested decently at the Combine as his numbers were mostly middle of the pack.

You can read this scouting report on him at NFL.com where they say things like his “football character is off the charts, has demeanor and traits of a special teams demon and is an emotional leader.”  Special teams should remain a focus for Pederson and crew.

6. WR Mack Hollins, 6’ 3” 201 lbs, North Carolina

Late round gem?  Quite possibly!  After researching him, I cannot believe this guy isn’t getting more buzz.  His 2016 season ended prematurely due to a broken collarbone, so I suppose that could be the reason for his lack of attention thus far.

However, he is definitely on the Eagles’ radar as he was one of a few specific WRs the team had Carson Wentz work out with back in February.

Hollins sounds exactly like a guy the Eagles would be interested in.  Check out this scouting report by Pro Football Focus…

Stats to know: 1,008 of Hollins’ 1,667 (over 60 percent) career receiving yards have come on passes more than 20 yards downfield. Averaged 20.6 yards per reception on his 81 catches.

What he does best:

No matter what the 40 time says, Hollins can and will run right by defenders with a long stride and once he’s at full speed it’s hard for anyone to catch him.

Tracks the ball well, can catch over his shoulder without losing speed, but also showed the ability to catch underthrown contested balls by going up and high-pointing. Can adjust route if ball poorly placed.

Surprisingly strong and quick cuts on breaks of routes, doesn’t lose a lot of speed and doesn’t tip them often.

Can beat press coverage with a variety of moves. Plus if he beats press, he’s gone.

Catches with his hands, showed much improvement from 2015 to 2016 (6 drops on 36 targets to 1 drop on 17 targets).

Played every facet of special teams and was a captain, can contribute there right away for an NFL team.

Biggest concern:

Not a big route variety. While he showed some nice breaks on in and out routes, he rarely ran them. Almost exclusively a “take the top off” receiver in college.

Didn’t show much after the catch in terms of making guys miss. Forced only three missed tackles in three years.

Not a lot of experience on contested jump balls. Doesn’t mean he can’t win those, just rarely saw them in college.

Player comparison: Mike Wallace, Baltimore Ravens

Few receivers had the straightaway speed of Wallace in his prime, but Hollins looks every bit the part. Wallace could run right past a defender, and if he caught it there was no catching him. Wallace was a raw route runner coming out of college, and while he improved, he’s always been a deep-threat receiver first and foremost. Hollins on the field looks very similar to early Wallace, except he’s taller.

Bottom line: Hollins is a big-time sleeper in this draft. Hardly anyone is talking about him but his tape is extremely impressive. He scored 20 touchdowns in three seasons at UNC, and 15 of them were on deep passes (20-plus yards in the air). Almost all of them looked the exact same, with Hollins blowing past a defender or two, catching it in stride and gliding into the end zone. He’s still a work in progress, as his route-running isn’t perfect. But his game speed and deep-threat ability is so off-the-charts on tape that he has the potential to be a very good NFL receiver. He also adds instant special teams impact, which teams should covet.

7.TE Darrell Daniels, 6’ 3” 247 lbs, Washington

Dart throw pick here.  Eagles could use a developmental TE since Brent Celek’s time in Philly may likely end after this upcoming season.  Daniels offers some physical tools and athleticism to work with.

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[flauntpage]

Howie Roseman, Non-Football Guy, Owns the NFL

The date was January 3rd, 2016. The Eagles had just wrapped up their 2015 season with a meaningless 35-30 win over the hapless New York Giants to finish with a 7-9 record and lock in a slightly shittier pick in the 2016 draft.

Chip Kelly had been fired just four days earlier after refusing to attend Jeffrey Lurie’s holiday party and alienating every player on the team with the exception of Riley Cooper.

Donald Trump, just months earlier as part of a YOLO dare, announced that he would run for President of the United States, giving the nation a nice little chuckle. And Howie Roseman, fresh off his time as supply closet manager and much to the dismay of almost every Eagles fan, re-gained control of the iron throne at One Novacare Way.

It has been just over two years since that day, and HOLY SHIT have things changed.

The Eagles are playing in the fucking SUPER BOWL and are set up for success for the next decade and change.

There are several players or coaches who have joined the team since that day in January and contributed to the Eagles’ success, but through it all, there has been only one common denominator: Howie Roseman.

In just two years, Roseman turned an underperforming, overpaid, self-serving 7-9 team into a super bowl contender. All while working in a very tight salary cap situation.

Fun Fact: Every single point scored, fumble recovered, interception, or sack by the Eagles in the playoffs, with the exception of one, has come at the hands of a player acquired within the last two years. The one exception: a Fletcher Cox sack. Who was responsible for extending Cox prior to the 2016 season? That would be Howie Roseman.

Obviously, Roseman has done an excellent job, but in looking back at every notable transaction over the last two years, it may be even better than we think.

Hiring Doug Pederson

Roseman is primarily responsible for acquiring player talent, but it would be silly not to mention his role in bringing in dopey (whoops) Doug Pederson. Not only has dopey Doug proven that he is not the Clark Griswold many thought he was, but he has gone full Liam Neeson on us, unleashing a particular set of skills nobody knew he had and kicking the shit out of the rest of the league.

2016/2017 Draft & Undrafted Free Agent Classes

2016: Carson Wentz, Wendell Smallwood, Isaac Seumalo, Halapoulivaati Vaitai, Blake Countess, Jalen Mills, Alex McCalister, Joe Walker, Marcus Johnson, Destiny Vaeao

2017: Derek Barnett, Sidney Jones, Rasul Douglas, Mack Hollins, Donnel Pumphrey, Shelton Gibson, Nate Gerry, Elijah Qualls, Corey Clement

The most obvious win here is Carson Wentz, but remember, it’s not as if Roseman just had the second pick and spent it on Wentz. He had the 13th pick in the draft and pulled off what was perhaps the most creative draft maneuver by anyone not named Kevin Costner. It’s not as if Wentz was the clear cut number one quarterback either. The NFL and draft community was very divisive on the player Wentz would turn out to be. Major credit goes to Howie and the Eagles front office for getting that one right.

Aside from Wentz, the rest of the 2016 class is impressive given the lack of resources Roseman had at his disposal. Big V, Jalen Mills, and Destiny Vaeao are all major contributors to this team and were all selected in the fifth round or later.

The 2017 class has also contributed quite a bit as well. Derek Barnett, obviously, but Rasul Douglas and Mack Hollins have both made several big plays in limited action and Corey Clement has been critical to the Eagles success on third downs in pass protection or catching passes out of the backfield. Both things he rarely ever did in college. Sidney Jones hasn’t even played!

Not all draft picks turn out to be stars, but getting this level of contributions from later round investments has been one of the major differentiators for this team.

Notable Cuts

Riley Cooper, DeMeco Ryans, Josh Huff, Connor Barwin, Ryan Mathews

Not much to see here. Most of these cuts were expected, but the Eagles haven’t been negatively impacted by any of them. So, that’s good.

Notable Contract Extensions

Sam Bradford, Malcolm Jenkins, Vinny Curry, Lane Johnson, Brent Celek, Zach Ertz, Fletcher Cox, Donnie Jones, Chris Maragos, Trey Burton, Jason Peters, Timmy Jernigan, Alshon Jeffery

The thing to note here is that when getting these extensions done, Roseman has done a particularly good job in accurately predicting the market at each position. Take Jeffery for example; his new contract pays him $6.75 million guaranteed per year, good for fifth in the NFL among receivers. But, when players such as Odell Beckham, Mike Evans, Amari Cooper, Brandin Cooks, Jordy Nelson and Golden Tate are up for new contracts in 2019, Jeffery’s $6.75 million per year will look pretty damn good.

Last offseason, there was a lot of criticism over the contract handed out to Curry. To be fair, though, if we think back to the extension, there was not one person in the entire city of Philadelphia that wouldn’t have made that deal. In fact, Curry was often talked about on sports radio airwaves as one of the primary reasons that the Eagles should switch back to the 4-3 defense. Howie is a lot of things, but a soothsayer is not one of them.

Despite this, Curry was able to change that narrative to some degree in 2017. While he may not be the star many thought he would be, his contract looks much better one year later.

Notable Free Agent Signings

This is where it gets juicy.

The Eagles know from experience that the core of a team cannot be built through free agency. That must be done through the draft. But no draft class is perfect and it only takes one underperforming draft class to create holes in a roster.

Free agency is crucial to ensure those holes get filled and, in some cases, like Alshon Jeffery, can even provide an upgrade. One poor investment, however, can really set the team back. Navigating the waters of free agency can be a really difficult task.

Take a look through Roseman’s signings over the last two years. They are quite impressive:

Chase Daniel, Nigel Bradham, Rodney McLeod, Brandon Brooks, Kamu Grugier-Hill, Torrey Smith, Patrick Robinson, Chris Long, Nick Foles, Stefen Wisniewski, Chance Warmack, Alshon Jeffery, LeGarrette Blount, Corey Graham, Jake Elliot, Bryan Braman

This list is pretty incredible. Not only have these players not been disappointing, almost all of them have outplayed the investment Roseman made in them. Even the smaller signings like Grugier-Hill have made an impact. Corey Graham has been critical to this defense in allowing Malcolm Jenkins to come down and play in the box, particularly since Jordan Hicks has been out.

Remember when everyone was upset that the Eagles were paying Nick Foles too much money to be a backup? What about Jake Elliott? Anyone ever heard of that guy? Even Bryan Braman, who was acquired in December, blocked a fucking punt in the divisional round playoff game versus the Falcons!

Almost everything Howie has touched in free agency has turned to gold.

Notable Trades

Trades are not very common in the NFL, but that is what makes Roseman so unique.

Market inefficiencies flow through the NFL like the plague. Every year, a handful of new coaches take control of their teams, promise to adapt their scheme to the players they have and then proceed to get rid of any and all players who either don’t fit the scheme or take issue with it.

As a result, players like Jay Ajayi become available for a fourth-round pick. Other players, such as Timmy Jernigan, become cap casualties and teams, desperate to get anything of value for them, give them up in exchange for swapping third-round picks.

The inefficiencies of the market are insane, and Roseman is like a shark smelling blood. Take a look at some of the bigger acquisitions that Roseman has made via trade:

Carson Wentz, Sam Bradford, Timmy Jernigan, Ronald Darby, Jay Ajayi

When the Vikings coughed up a first and a fourth for Bradford, the narrative centered on how lucky Roseman got. While luck did play a role, Howie should be commended for how well he played his hand.

The supposed trade market for Bradford at the time was minimal. Roseman very easily could have jumped on a fourth-round pick in desperation to get some value from him, but he sat tight. Did he know that Teddy Bridgewater would get hurt? Absolutely not. But, in a league with 32 starting quarterbacks, the odds of one of them going down is pretty good. It wasn’t dumb luck, Roseman took those odds and it paid off.

Low Risk Misses

Roseman hasn’t been perfect over the last two years, there have been a few moves that haven’t worked out or don’t currently look promising.

Leodis McKelvin, T.J. Graham, Reuben Randle, Chris Givens, Nolan Carroll, Dorial Green-Beckham, Isaac Seumalo, Donnel Pumphrey

These were all low-risk investments, though. Not one of these players have really set the team back.

Much of the talk this season has been focused on how great this Eagles team is and how great of a coach Doug Pederson has turned out to be. Heading into Super Bowl week, I think it’s time we tip our cap to the non-football guy that this blue collar town never gave a chance.

Howie Roseman, Non-Football Guy, Owns the NFL published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

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Chiefs Schedule Series, Part 1: A Tough Opener

We have entered the dog days of summer, where most of us wait for football to return. Now is the perfect time to take an in depth look at each game the Chiefs have in the upcoming season. The Chiefs begin in week one with a big test against the defending Super Bowl champion Patriots. Going into Foxborough is no easy task. Do they have a chance? Let’s take a look.

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Recent Meetings

January 16th, 2016, Divisional Round: Patriots 27, Chiefs 20.

The most recent meeting between these two occurred in the postseason. The Chiefs controlled the game, possessing the ball for nearly 38 minutes of the game. But, the Patriots prevented Kansas City from pushing the ball down the field, leaving Alex Smith with 4.9 yards per attempt. A Knile Davis fumble, combined with poor clock management, sent Kansas City packing.

September 29th, 2014, Week Three: Chiefs 41, Patriots 14.

This game might be remembered as the game where many thought Brady could be done. The Patriots were decimated on a Monday night in Arrowhead Stadium. Tom Brady threw two interceptions (one returned for a TD) and lost a fumble in that game. Brady eventually came out of the game and was replaced by Jimmy Garoppolo. The Chiefs solidified themselves as contenders in that game.

How Are These Teams Different

The Chiefs didn’t make many moves in the offseason. However, they did lose some key pieces. Dontari Poe bolted for the Atlanta Falcons. The front office decided to cut Jamaal Charles. Defensive tackle Bennie Logan joined the team in free agency, and he should help out in the run game. The biggest additions for the Chiefs came via the draft. Kareem Hunt and Jehu Chesson will contribute on offense this season. Second round pick Tanoh Kpassagnon needs to refine his game, but he can be a solid piece down the road. Patrick Mahomes can be the guy down the road, but it’s unlikely he contributes this season.

The Patriots made a bunch of moves in the offseason. They retained corner Malcolm Butler and replaced Logan Ryan with Stephon Gilmore. The Pats also traded for Dwayne Allen. Let’s not forget about Mike Gilislee and Rex Burkhead. The Pats are continuing the trend of adding versatility on offense. They also drafted well, landing pass rushers Derek Rivers and Deatrich Wise. In addition, they added Conor McDermott and Antonio Garcia to beef up the offensive line. The Patriots reloaded with plenty of talent.

Why The Chiefs Can Win

There are only a few teams that can say they have the roster to upend the Patriots. The Chiefs are definitely one of those teams. There is enough talent on the defensive side of the ball. Justin Houston, Dee Ford, and Tamba Hali can get to the quarterback at will. Also, having a lock down defender in Marcus Peters and a ballhawking safety in Eric Berry help. The Chiefs need all hands on deck when defending against Brady, Gronkowski, and the Pats offense. The fact that they can pressure Brady and have adequate coverage on the back end gives them a good chance. Most quarterbacks don’t respond well to pressure. If you can continually pressure Brady, you can hang with the Pats.

Offensively, the key is ball control. Turning the ball over can’t happen, especially on the road. The Chiefs will need to run the ball effectively while also going vertical in the passing game. Alex Smith needs to push the ball down the field, and he has the weapons to do just that. Travis Kelce will need to be involved heavily to open things up for the wideouts. If the Chiefs can get a good mix of running and passing, along with controlling the clock, they can give themselves a good chance.

Why The Chiefs Could Stumble Out The Gate

The easy answer to this? The Pats are the reigning Super Bowl champs. It is hard to go into New England and win. The in depth answer? The coaching staff in New England is outstanding, and they will continue to look for ways to exploit your weaknesses. The Chiefs struggle the most when Alex Smith is forced to throw 45 times a game. You can bet the Patriots will make things difficult for the Chiefs in the run game. If the Chiefs don’t find balance, the Pats will unleash Dont’a Hightower and company and make life difficult.

The Patriots will also find ways to expose the weaknesses on a defense. Kansas City lacks depth and talent at the linebacker spot. There is no guarantee that Derrick Johnson returns to form. The group behind Johnson is coming around, but they aren’t a complete group. Because the Patriots possess Gronkowski and Allen at tight end, they can use both to create matchup issues in the middle of the field.

The Prediction

The Chiefs do have a very good roster, but it won’t be easy to pull out a win on the road against the Patriots. Alex Smith will have to outduel Tom Brady in this matchup, which I don’t see happening. The Chiefs will hang around because of their outstanding pass rushers, but the Patriots will still find ways to score. Expect the Pats to use everyone they can in their arsenal, and for them to bottle up Ware, West, and Hunt on the ground. This game should stay close for a while, but the Patriots will pull away late.

Patriots 27, Chiefs 17

Chiefs current projected record: 0-1

— Jake Schyvinck is a Managing Editor for cover32 and covers the Kansas City Chiefs. He can be followed on Twitter here.

The post Chiefs Schedule Series, Part 1: A Tough Opener appeared first on Cover32.

[junker-town]

NFL draft results 2017: Browns scoop up 3 picks in eventful 1st round

There were several trades and a few surprises on Day 1.

The first round of the 2017 draft featured lots of trades, several quarterbacks off the board, and some surprise picks here and there. Most of the bigger surprises involved the Browns, and Cleveland actually made smart choices on Day 1 of the draft.

Picks 1 through 10

The Browns kicked things off by making the right choice with the first overall pick, taking pass rusher Myles Garrett. There had been speculation that Cleveland would go with Trubisky first overall, but by the time the draft kicked off, Garrett was once again the expected pick for Cleveland.

The first surprise pick of the round was also the evening’s first trade. The Bears moved up a spot, sacrificing some mid-round picks to trade with the San Francisco 49ers to select quarterback Mitchell Trubisky at No. 2. Bears fans did not love the selection.

The 49ers were still able to get the player they were targeting at No. 3, drafting defensive end Solomon Thomas. The Jaguars, as expected, took a running back at No. 4, and landed LSU’s Leonard Fournette.

The Titans’ big needs going into the first round were wide receiver and cornerback, and Tennessee satisfied the first one with Western Michigan’s Corey Davis with the fifth overall pick. Davis was prolific in the MAC, and the Titans will hope that productivity will translate to the NFL.

Next up were the Jets at No. 6, and they got arguably the best safety in the draft with Jamal Adams. The Chargers gave Philip Rivers a talented target in Clemson receiver Mike Williams at No. 7, and the Panthers filled a need at running back with the eighth pick, as expected, with Stanford’s Christian McCaffrey.

Remember John Ross, the fastest player at the NFL Combine? Well, he’s a Cincinnati Bengal now, after being selected with the ninth overall pick.

The next trade was a mild surprise, as the Kansas City Chiefs swapped picks with the Buffalo Bills to draft quarterback Patrick Mahomes. Mahomes is talented, but raw, and he’ll have the opportunity to develop behind Alex Smith for the time being. The Chiefs gave up a third-round pick and a 2018 first-rounder to get Mahomes, so Kansas City must think he is the quarterback of the future.

Picks 11 through 20

The Saints added to their stable of former Buckeyes at No. 11 with cornerback Marshon Lattimore. Lattimore has some injury concerns, but his talent is undeniable, and the Saints desperately need to improve the secondary.

The Browns made another smart move at No. 12, trading away their pick to the Houston Texans. Houston, a team with a desperate need at quarterback, landed Deshaun Watson. They’ll hope his winning ways will carry over to the NFL.

The Cardinals need to think about life after Carson Palmer, but with the early run on quarterbacks in a weak class, it wasn’t really an option at No. 13. They did grab Haason Reddick, a linebacker with tremendous potential.

Next up, the Eagles addressed the pass rush, adding talented Tennessee product Derek Barnett at No. 14. The Colts continued to address the defensive deficiencies that plagued Indianapolis last season, snagging a safety with exceptional range in Ohio State’s Malik Hooker. Hooker is a solid value with the 15th pick.

It’s a deep draft for cornerbacks, and the Ravens filled a need and got one of the best in this class with Alabama’s Marlon Humphrey at No. 16. Baltimore added Brandon Carr this offseason, but still has a way to go to strengthen the secondary.

Washington got a steal. Jonathan Allen may have been the most talented player in this draft, but concerns about arthritis in his shoulders caused him to fall all the way to the 17th pick.

After filling one need at receiver with the No. 5 pick, Tennessee filled yet another at No. 18. The Titans drafted cornerback Adoree’ Jackson out of USC, who has great potential. The only concern is that he’s a little undersized, which may give him challenges against bigger NFL receivers.

The Buccaneers landed a well-rounded tight end with the 19th pick, drafting Alabama’s O.J. Howard. Howard has the unique combination of size, speed and receiving ability that makes him a quality offensive threat for Jameis Winston and Co.

Offensive line was a huge need for the Broncos after the struggles of the 2016 season, and they addressed it at No. 20. Utah’s Garett Bolles is headed to the Broncos, and the adversity he faced as a young adult helped prepare him for this transition.

Picks 21 through 32

The Lions filled a need and got a player with great instincts at No. 21 in Jarrad Davis. The Dolphins boosted the pass rush with Charles Harris at No. 22, and the Giants got a dynamic receiving tight end for Eli Manning to throw to in Evan Engram with the 23rd pick.

The next surprise of the first round was cornerback Gareon Conley. Conley is currently a suspect in an investigation stemming from sexual assault allegations made against him earlier this week. Those allegations and the active investigation didn’t stop the Raiders from selecting him with the No. 24 pick.

The Browns made yet another smart move with the No. 25 pick they got from the Texans, selecting versatile defender Jabrill Peppers. Peppers played both safety and linebacker at the University of Michigan, though safety is his natural position. The Browns need playmakers in the secondary, and Peppers brings the added bonus of being able to return kicks and punts for Cleveland.

Dan Quinn and the Falcons covet speed on defense, and they got a fast pass rusher in Takkarist McKinley. Atlanta had to trade up to get him, swapping picks with the Seahawks to select McKinley 26th overall. McKinley celebrated by giving an emotional post-pick speech about his grandmother, complete with an f-bomb. He said the league could just fine him later.

The Bills bolstered the secondary with LSU’s Tre’Davious White at No. 27. The Cowboys were up next at No. 28, and addressed the pass rush with Taco Charlton.

The Browns had 11 picks going into the draft, and added more with the trade back that let Houston select Deshaun Watson. They took advantage of it, trading back into the first round to take tight end David Njoku at No. 29. Many analysts thought Njoku was a better prospect than Evan Engram, and the Browns need all the playmakers they can get.

The Steelers needed a linebacker, and grabbed one at No. 30, selecting J.J. Watt’s brother, T.J. Watt.

The 49ers traded back into the first round, swapping with the Seahawks, who had traded with the Falcons and gotten the 31st overall pick. San Francisco used it on Reuben Foster, who was probably the best middle linebacker prospect in this draft. Foster’s stock fell after he was sent home from the combine and because of a diluted drug test sample, but his talent is undeniable.

The last pick of the first round was Ryan Ramczyk. The Wisconsin tackle went to the Saints with the No. 32 pick New Orleans got from the Patriots in the Brandin Cooks trade.

The second round of the draft kicks off Saturday at 7 p.m. ET.

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Of all the visits to the Titans, this one makes me hmmm

Of all the visits to the Titans, this one makes me hmmm

As the draft approaches, the Titans have hosted many prospects recently. They are interviewing them and trying to ascertain whether they will fit with the team’s chemistry. Each prospect will also bring a unique personal and game history that they will surely “dig into” as well.

Twitter is full of reports of which players visited which team. I prefer Charlie Campbell of Walter Football for keeping track of which players visit the team. When a fan tweets that “their boy” visited a team, it always goes well and they are always going to draft that player. The fan’s love of the player really muddies up the report. Also, keep in mind, it is rarely ever reported that a visit went poorly. Surely some visits don’t go so well. I strongly recommend using a reputable source when considering player visit news on Twitter.

These visits are essentially job interviews. Does the team want to hire this worker?

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Sometimes there are stories where a team just about falls in love with a prospect. Last year, Kevin Byard reportedly made a wonderful impression on defensive coordinator Dick Lebeau. Before the draft, we heard almost nothing of this great meeting. If we had, we would have surely projected the Titans to select Byard in the draft. If we had, other teams would have also expected Titans general manager Jon Robinson to select Byard. Robinson has to be secretive. Let’s not hold that against him. Let’s just hope there are prospects he adores heading into the draft. Those are the prospects that usually pan out too.

What do we hear after the visits? Sometimes there are reports by guys like Adam Caplan, Adam Schefter, or Matt Miller. Usually, though, we don’t hear much of anything. I start to look for what I call the aftertaste

I start to look for what I call the aftertaste. Have you ever had some delicious food or drink which had an appealing first taste, then after you swallowed it had yet another taste? A good one? We are amidst this aftertaste time.

I am not seeing any love for Mike Williams, Corey Davis, Jamal Adams, and all the usual names. What I am seeing is almost like a love restored.

Derek Barnett went to Brentwood Academy and the University of Tennessee. This Nashville native was on “everyone’s” projected draft sheet for the Titans in January and February. The Titans would draft local boy Barnett.

As the offseason carried on, Barnett has risen and fallen and risen again up draft boards. A wonderful player, he’s not quite good enough to be the fifth pick, better than the 18th pick. He is a second rounder. He is a late first round pick. He is back into the top 15. He hasn’t really been projected to be a Titans pick in months.

The other day, Barnett visited the Titans and the team website posted a nice article about it. A couple days later and (there’s that aftertaste) the sentiment seems to be that the Titans are quite intrigued by Barnett again.

Grain of salt

Everyone local always wants the team to select the local talent. It’s a common fascination we all have- some variation of “home grown talent” I suppose. Jon Robinson would never say he is going to draft player X before the draft. His quotes in the winter were simple and non-committal. They were along the lines of, “Barnett is a good player” and were never “we will draft Barnett.” There is a whole lot of make-believe here that must be digested. Don’t just jump on this please.

This very same dance took place with Vanderbilt’s Zach Cunningham in March. After his pro day, “everyone” had the Titans selecting him also. Some sites are being coy with Barnett and listing player X as the Titans pick, yet in the words it states that they are intrigued by Barnett too. Burned by the January projection? Who knows why they’re doing that. There is definitely an aftertaste going on with Barnett.

There is definitely an aftertaste going on with Barnett.

My thoughts on the locals

I have always and will always say that if a team adds a 7-8 year starter in the first round, he’s a fine pick. To some degree, I don’t care if he is picked early or late. If the Titans draft Barnett with the fifth and Cunningham with the 18th pick, I will be pleased. That’s two positions I think the team needs to fill and I think both players have a bright future in the NFL.

They should trade down

This always comes up about this time of year. Yes, it should happen and it is ideal. The problem is simply that there are humans in a draft. Many of us do all these mocks where a computer approves a trade or we just assume a trade is fair so it will happen. Humans aren’t always so eager to trade. NFL General Managers may be just fine with their pick at the spot it is in the draft. They may not want to move. Please remember real world trades and internet trades are totally different.

Would this happen?

Probably not. Possibly more likely would be Johnathan Allen and Cunningham or Reuben Foster and Barnett. This is simply carrying on with the local theme.

The post Of all the visits to the Titans, this one makes me hmmm appeared first on Cover32.

[racingtoaredlight]

Another RTARL way too soon NFL first round mock draft 2017

It’s NFL Draft season! Next weekend will be dominated by the NFL Combine, which would be dominated by the troops if they all showed up but will instead be just a bunch of football players hanging out in shorts and t-shirts. I thought it would be fun* to do another mock draft now before the disappointments and surprises that the combine often affords.

I had this whole thing about punching strict Constitutionalists worked out in my head but I lost the urgency of that feeling. This would have been the header image for that post. Forget you ever read this if I get around to doing that post.

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Myles Garrett knows what I’m talking about. He’ll be punching Consitutionalists on the reg in Cleveland. Both on the field and, if he’s truly heroic, off the field. But I swear I’m not writing about that now. Just doing an awesome mock draft about all of the awesome matchups that I come up with based on sources** that are proprietary to RTARL. I’m drafting based on perceived team needs and will take credit for direct hits: if I get the right player to the right team, if I get the correct position, if the player drafted is from the same college as the one in the same position on my draft, if the players share a first or last name, if the team drafting is the one I have listed, if there is a trade.

1  Cleveland Browns

Myles Garrett, DL, Texas A&M

He’s the best player and the Browns need everything. It’s sad that he will spend all of his career battling injuries but such is the lot of a Browns.

2  San Francisco 49ers

Deshaun Watson, QB, Clemson

The 49ers will have zero QBs under contract once Colin Kaepernick opts out of his contract (why is that happening, by the way? He won’t get as much money and he won’t start anywhere else.) Watson doesn’t really strike me as an NFL star but I don’t think that even matters at this point for the 49ers. If he can be soul crushingly boring like Alex Smith that’s good enough.

3  Chicago Bears

Jonathan Allen, DL, Alabama

The going theory among people that, no shit, make a living writing about the NFL Draft is that Allen is going to drop closer to the tenth pick. The Bears suck all over and I’m just sticking him here because I forget what they really should do.

4 Jacksonville Jaguars

Leonard Fournette, RB, LSU

The hottest thing in draft blogging is to overvalue Dalvin Cook. I may be blinded by how much I hate Dalvin Cook but I really think his medical profile is going to be a lot worse than people realize. Well, shit, I guess that’s a possibility for Fournette, too. What the fuck ever, it’s the Jaguars.

5 Tennessee Titans

Mike Williams, WR, Clemson

I think the way Williams plays works pretty well with the way Marcus Mariota plays and he’ll be a 100-catch machine in no time.

6  New York Jets

Patrick Mahomes, QB, Texas Tech

From what I’ve seen Mahomes is the consensus fourth QB in the draft but he’s got the best arm and he’s got, in my eyes, the best chance to be a huge bust. If that isn’t a Jets player I don’t know what is.

7  Los Angeles Chargers

Jamal Adams, DB, LSU

If Adams is as good as his recent press then this is the best pick in the draft. I can’t wait to buy a last minute ticket to watch him in front of 20,000 other slightly invested fans playing on a field built for boxing.

8  Carolina Panthers

Corey Davis, WR, Western Michigan

I’m 95% certain the Panthers will not pick a receiver here but it seems like a good fit to me and all I keep hearing about is how shitty the OL prospects are for this draft.

9  Cincinnati Bengals

Malik McDowell, DL, Michigan State

Huge, insanely athletic, maybe not always motivated but awesome when he is. This is a Bengals if ever there was a Bengals.

10  Buffalo Bills

David Njoku, TE, Miami

I’m gonna level with you: I have no idea what any team actually needs. Playing in Buffalo the Bills should just have a bunch of TEs and run some version of the Run & Shoot that involves 5 TEs on the field at all times. Njoku could totally be the Haywood Jeffires of that arrangement.

11  New Orleans Saints

Reuben Foster, LB, Alabama

Back in the late 80s and early 90s the Saints had the best collection of LBs of any team in the NFL and that seems impossible based on every other era in team history. Foster is getting hype that makes me imagine him fitting in with Rickey Jackson, Sam Mills, and Pat Swilling. Is he that good? Who the fuck knows. Aaron Curry was supposed to be the safest pick in NFL history and he sucked horribly.

12  Cleveland Browns

DeShone Kizer, QB, Notre Dame

Kizer is way too good to be held down by the screaming murderer in charge of Notre Dame to hold him down any longer. Hue Jackson will get the most out of him.

13  Arizona Cardinals

Garrett Bolles, OL, Utah

He’s already old which fits in with what the Cardinals are doing as a team.

14 Indianapolis Colts

Forrest Lamp, OL, Western Kentucky

This might actually be the Eagles pick. It’s going to be decided by a coin flip. I like putting Forrest Lamp here because he has a good name and I wanted to write it. The Colts are an Andrew Luck injury away from complete disaster so an OL pick seems likely.

15  Philadelphia Eagles 

Dalvin Cook, RB, FSU

Cook and Wentz can be 8-8 together for years to come.

16  Baltimore Ravens

Marshon Lattimore, CB, Ohio State

I’m totally just pulling names out of the air right now. It seems crazy that there would be no CBs picked until 16 but I didn’t have an OL go until 13. That isn’t happening.

17  Washington Redskins

Quincy Wilson, CB, Florida

Washington needs to find a QB of the future but there isn’t anybody left to rate this highly.

18  Tennessee Titans

Cam Robinson, OL, Alabama

This makes sense, right?

19  Tampa Bay Buccaneers

O.J. Howard, TE, Alabama

Remember that year the Jets and Giants both wasted first round picks on shitty tight ends? Howard reminds me of Derek Brown.

20  Denver Broncos

Ryan Ramczyk, OL, Wisconsin

I think Ramczyk is having hip surgery but the Broncos are taking an OL in the first round come hell or high water and this is the name that stood out to me from the list of names I was looking at as I wrote this.

21  Detroit Lions

Takkarist McKinley, LB, UCLA

I wanted to give the Lions something nice and I think McKinley is a star.

22  Miami Dolphins

Zach Cunningham, LB, Vanderbilt

The Dolphins seem like the flukiest team in the league and I don’t remember them being very good anywhere but on the defensive line. I might not even be correct about that.

23  New York Giants

John Ross, WR, Washington

Ross could be a great deep threat opposite ODB’s greatness and if they can stay healthy the two of them together could really help the first pick in the 2018 NFL Draft. Is this a good pick or something the Giants would actually do? Probably not. I’m not good at predicting.

24  Oakland Raiders

Soloman Thomas, DL, Stanford

The Raiders need a ton of help on defense and this is theoretically the best draft in a long time to address that side of the ball. Thomas is a top-10 level talent but I think there’s such a glut of front 7 talent that a lot of those guys are going to fall quite a bit.

25  Houston Texans

Budda Baker, S, Washington

I listened to some podcast about the draft that had the Texans taking a QB here and I laughed at the idea of an NFL team being willing to admit so quickly how badly they planned last season. Those same guys described every pick as an interesting situation and made Budda Baker seem like the second coming of Ed Reed. So I’m stealing part of their jive.

26  Seattle Seahawks

Antonio Garcia, OL, Troy

Everybody on the planet expects the Seahawks to draft an OL and then not know how to develop him. I’m picking names out of a hat when it comes to OL guys here, if you weren’t aware.

27  Kansas City Chiefs

Christian McCaffrey, RB, Stanford

I haven’t seen anybody put McCaffrey here but it seems like an awesome fit to me. Andy Reid could put him to good use all over the field.

28  Dallas Cowboys

Haason Redick, EDGE (!!!), Temple

Last year the Cowboys got all of my pre-draft favorites so I’m gonna make that continue and give them one of my favorite players in this draft. Redick is a preposterous athlete who came to college as a cornerback and then grew into a defensive lineman. He’ll probably be more of a linebacker in the pros but he should be a total nightmare in the best of ways wherever he lines up.

29  Green Bay Packers

Teez Tabor, CB, Florida

I listen to / read way too much online scouting. Tabor isn’t falling this far.

30  Pittsburgh Steelers

Jordan Willis, DE, Kansas State

The Steelers also grab a lot of the guys I really like. Year after year they do that, actually, and they mostly don’t end up as good as I expected. Willis is like the platonic ideal of a pass rushing end so expect him to turn into a linebacker somehow in Pittsburgh and get a bunch of sacks in 2021 on his way to a crazy contract in Jacksonville before he gets cut a year later.

31  Atlanta Falcons

Taco Charlton, DE, Michigan

Good lord there are too many good pass rushers in this draft. I don’t see any consensus yet on which ones stack up where but I do know that I don’t really like Charlton as anything more than a space killer in the NFL. He’s big enough and strong enough to not be a sinkhole but I don’t trust him to rack up stats, either. Atlanta needs some guys like this.

32  New England Patriots

Corn Elder, CB, Miami

I have every bit of confidence that Corn is going to come out of the combine with a lot more fans in draft world than he has now. It’s not like he’s a low-rated player but he’s going to test a lot faster than people realize. Did I just make it through the first round without about 20 players that I think should be first rounders? Yes I did.

* stabbing yourself in the eye with a protractor is similarly fun if you’re looking for things to do today

** other mock drafts

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