#AND ACE UR SO RIGHT!!! STICK IT TO EM!!!!

[theonepiecebrainrotisreal]

Oh man i reached the max amount of tags, but btw u can add more than 10 pages on at a time if you post from like,,, a computer/laptop or what not. Amazing act 1 finish, cant wait to see what’s in store for act 2 :]

Water Is Thicker Than Blood Comic 14

Act 1 is now over!!! Im going to personally kick every single one of yall’s asses in the next act, i hope youre ready >:3c

<Start>

<Prev

Next(coming soon)>

A super extra long chapter for a special act one closer~

This chapter is actually supposed to be 11 pages, but tumblr only lets you post 10 pics at a time so i had to condense.

This chapter took so unbelievably long im so glad im finished now. One of the reasons why it took so long is because i had to rework the script so many times. I kept thinking to myself like “…no they would def throw hands over that, i need to rewrite this.” Its definitely a lot better, now.

[misqnon]

MONT TELL US ABOUT THE MASQUERADE DRABBLES RAAAHH (pls and thank u <3)

also basically none of my wips are named . ruj roh.

LMFAO just arbitrarily give them names i guess. or briefly describe what it is in a few words. lemme see [grabby hands]

AND FOR UR ASK masquerade is the actual story but i have a drabbles document of scenes i wanted to write that are either non-canon or im not sure where to place them yet !! wait holy shit THERE'S SO MANY MORE THAN I THOUGHT THERE WAS??

it's time for horny! vampire! nonsense!

Leo and Ace were alone for once, stepping through the forests of Hyde in a comfortable silence. They'd left Marnie and Lilli back at the [spoiler] camp, where they seemed to be getting along well with everyone. But Ace had suggested a walk, and Leo wasn't one to avoid any time with Ace. Especially just the two of them.

Ace hopped over a gnarled root sticking out of the path and Leo, distracted in his own daydreams, walked right into it. He fell forward with a stumble, but Ace caught his shoulders and straightened him.

Leo chuckled awkwardly. "Sorry. I got distracted." 

Ace stepped back and kept walking, backwards now, so he was facing Leo. And yet he still wasn't tripping on anything. 

"By what? There's not much out here aside from leaves." He said, teasing. "Unless it's me. I mean, I am quite handsome, I know." He joked, bringing a hand to his chin. He was clearly just trying to make Leo laugh- and it worked, but he was also actually correct.

"Oh yeah, it was definitely you." Leo said sarcastically. 

"Still got it."

Leo rolled his eyes. Ace was still walking backwards.

"How are you not running into anything?"

Ace flung his sunglasses down over his eyes. "Vampire magic."

"Ah. Sure." 

Then, at the most humorous possible time, the blonde misstepped after a change in elevation and nearly fell backwards. Leo panicked, reaching out and grabbing him by the arms, pulling him back with some effort. 

The two of them looked at each other, now close again, Leo's hands locked on Ace's forearms, and as Leo began to blush, Ace busted out laughing. 

Leo felt himself relax a little. This dude was a total goofball.

"Okay, so, maybe I was just lucky. I can't see behind me either."

Leo felt a bit cocky by now. He gently took the sunglasses from Ace's eyes.

"Really?" He said with sarcasm again, eyeing the shades. 

"Hey! Those aren't part of it!" He said, cackling as he tried to take them back from the human. Leo was careful with them, but at some point he slipped them on himself. Ace stared with a smirk, crossing his arms. 

"...Wait, are these prescription?" 

"Alright, hand 'em over." Ace said, snatching them back. He returned them to their proper resting place in his hair.

"Why do you have those if you never wear them? And they're prescription?" He asked.

"That's-" Ace started. Then he froze. 

He seemed to still completely, focused on something. Then he brought a hand over his nose, and his eyes steeled. He suddenly looked stressed. 

"...Ace? Everything okay?" 

"Uh- Yeah, yeah, just…" He trailed off again. He seemed to become uncomfortable, with telltale signs coming over his expression. His eyes, usually a yellow-green, began to muddy. They seemed orange, brownish for a moment, then they slowly became red. Leo froze.

He knew what that meant. Ace and Lilli, their eyes only got like that when they smelled blood. Or when they were bloodthirsty, aka, very very hungry. Like when they'd been exposed to that massacre on the train, or when Lilli hadn't eaten for a few days. But which one was it? Lilli's was gradual, her eyes turning slowly, so surely this must mean there was a lot of blood nearby, right? 

"Is everything alright? Do you smell blood?" 

Ace looked to be worsening. "No, I don't. I'm- I'm fine,"

He clearly wasn't. 

Leo stepped forward a bit, reaching out to him, and Ace backed up so fast Leo actually felt afraid. 

"Ace, clearly you're not fine- What is going on!?" 

Leo was beginning to fear not only for Ace, but for himself. If he didn't smell blood, then what, was he hungry? Why else would his eyes turn this color? Carter's were always red, but Carter was also…Carter. 

But Carter had never looked this stressed. 

Ace attempted once again to collect himself. "Look." He managed, nearly bent over. His own hand was digging into his arm. "Just head back to the camp for me, will you? I'll meet you there." Ace sounded serious. And irritated. It felt wrong coming from him, something his voice never sounded like. 

"...Okay." Leo said, though he instantly regretted agreeing. But he wanted to trust him. Wasn't that what this whole thing was about? 

"But promise me you're going to be alright." He added, stepping forward again. 

Ace groaned, and then, without warning, pulled Leo forward with one clawed hand. Leo's eyes widened in shock behind his glasses. Suddenly he was face to face with Ace, though through the scarlet eyes and the strange expression, he felt like he was looking at some kind of bastardized version of his friend. 

"Leo, I'm….really thirsty all of a sudden." Ace muttered. 

Oh. 

This was quite literally his worst nightmare. 

"Oh." He said simply, echoing his thoughts. 

Oh.

What else was he supposed to say to that? 

Though it was only a single syllable, it carried all the weight of surprise, fear, and betrayal Leo was feeling at the moment, and Ace could tell. He winced almost immediately, whether it be at the realization of his own words or hearing Leo's frightened response. 

"I don't…" Ace started, but he trailed off again. He turned, and now Leo was pressed against a tree, the tall, blonde, goofy vampire suddenly a terrifying threat. 

Ace slowly leaned into Leo's neck, silent aside from his breathing. Leo's heart was beating out of his chest. He'd been in a situation much like this before, and with Carter of all people, so it seemed much worse. But Carter, as much as he looked down on the other, had been completely in control of himself, and had even asked Leo for permission before he'd even opened his mouth. And Leo never had, so he never did. Bloodthirsty Carter had controlled himself, but now Ace- spunky, golden, lovely Ace- was going to drink his blood? 

"Ace, what are you doing?" He managed, pressed against the tree as far as he could in an attempt to get away from the vampire's jaws. It wasn't much of an escape. 

Ace hissed. "I-I don't know!" He growled, claws digging into the bark of the tree above his head. Bits of wood and plant matter scattered over his shoulders. 

What was this, mind control? He had no idea what was going on, but neither did Ace, it seemed. 

"Okay…listen. If-If I give you some blood, do you think you'll calm down?" Leo ventured. Cutting his wrist a bit seemed a thousand times more preferable to having Ace's fangs dig into his neck. 

Ace hissed at that, too. "I don't want your blood, Leo. I don't want to hurt you- I don't-" 

"N-No offense, Ace, but it kinda looks like you do, right now." 

"I don't know what's wrong with me." He said through gritted teeth. "It just- came over me all of a sudden…"

Leo didn't know what to say next, and in the moment he didn't respond, Ace grabbed Leo's arm and brought it to his mouth. 

Leo nearly yiped in fear. "H-Hey, how about I cut my wrist a little, and you just-" 

Leo felt a cut open across his wrist, something akin to a very aggressive paper cut. Ace had dragged his fang over his skin, ripping it just enough for blood to come out. 

He winced, but it wasn't the most painful thing in the world. The way Ace's expression changed when the blood began to flow from the wound got a reaction from him, though. 

"Uh, Ace." He swallowed. 

Ace glanced up at him, only moving his eyes. 

"Please be…careful," 

The moment he'd finished his words, Ace's lips had closed over his wrist. Leo blushed. 

He'd imagined situations like this, but this is not how he imagined it going down. 

Ace was sucking on his skin greedily, and for the first time since this ordeal had began, Leo had a few moments to think. He was distracted at first, watching, feeling Ace…but then he began to reason.

Maybe it was something in the air. It had happened once they reached a specific spot. Ace must have smelled something, inhaled something…hadn't they heard of something that grew in the forest? Bloodsbane? 

Leo, now unrestrained, began to slowly step back the way they came. Ace glared up at him from his wrist. 

"You can keep going, let's just…move this way." He said nervously. 

Ace, surprisingly, let go of his arm. Then he licked his lips. 

Leo would have turned three shades darker if he wasn't scared for his life. He walked back down the path, now he walking backwards as he kept an eye on the vampire following him. 

Of course, it was Leo, and he was also under quite a bit of stress- so he tripped. Ace still reached out to catch him, but he still seemed distracted, and Leo fell on his butt against a tree. 

Ace approached and then bent down to him. His eyes were still blood red, but he seemed calmer. 

He glanced down, and Leo followed his gaze. The wound on his wrist was still bleeding, and now a sizable amount had collected itself on his arm. Ace was practically drooling. 

Leo, thoughtlessly, presented his arm again. Ace took it. dragging his tongue up his forearm to catch the drippage. Leo felt a warmth forming in his stomach and desperately tried to take stock of the situation. 

"Leo…" Ace muttered. "You…Ngh…" And then he was back on his wrist. 

He wasn't bleeding that much, but he was still starting to get worried. Ace was drinking his blood right now. That was a thing that was currently happening.

It was. Kinda hot. 

But he was also terrified and had been terrified about this exact situation ever since he met them all, let alone even realized that vampires were real. 

Well, actually, this wasn't his worst nightmare. In those, they were biting his neck.

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. early bird on a Saturday morning lefty eyebag 😌

Yeah, and right now it's bothering my left eye. It feels out of place. I may just use the contacts when I go out. My glasses are always the thick square full frame. It fits my face better. But I think I chose the wrong glasses yesterday and now it's too late to change it 🙃 do you like the ones with the things in the middle of the glasses? Those thingies that go on the bridge of your nose. They always leave dents on mine when I had it. By the way, my glasses broke cause I keep stepping on them or it keeps falling off my table. So it probably got mad at me and had enough lol

I guess I was mistaken. I swear I saw that I could put a picture. Maybe I will come off of anon in the new year. But I like the mystery hahaha

Ooh thats good, so after you're done with your Nat fic, you gonna take a break?

That's good planning. Is this the first time your daughter will be flying? I love really early flights or late at night flights. I like looking at the lights when it is still dark.

Bacon jam sounds good. So that reminds me, have you heard of Texas De Brazil? Not sure if they have one there, but it's a steakhouse where the waiters go around carrying the meat and they cut you a piece of each meat. I think you'd like it! I'm planning on going at the end of the year because it needs reservations.

Oh wow that's a long time! Congratulations to you both! How'd you guys meet?

Yeah, but I think I'm like Ace? I'm not sure, but when I keep reading fics of Yelena, I feel like I am like her.

Ooh does that mean you're going to do a face reveal?? :O!!

What are your plans for today?

-CuriousGeorge

hi hi..

I was forced to be an early bird today. Em woke up at like 6.45. lol.

ah i see.. yeah, if u r not comfortable then dont wear it. sometimes my eyes got irritation when I wear contacts. thats why i dont like it. ooh i have a funny yet scary story. One time i was at the mall, n that day i was wearing contacts. u know when u wear contact inside out somehow it doesnt stick to our eyes n always move around or something. So that day i just went to the bathroom and when i was done i was ready to go back to the mall. n in 1 blink one of my eyes suddenly turn blurry.. so 1 eye could see okay, the other blur. I was like "what the hell is going on?!" so i thought my contacts fall off my eyes, i tried to search it while 1 of my hands cover the blurry eye so i can see better. i was looking for the contacts on the floor n everywhere around the sink n stuff for a while. (plus of course that day i was wearing the clear contacts so it's harder to find) n then i gave up n was gonna take off the other contacts n just walk blind at the mall n go home. after i took the other one off, i feel the other eye feels like a dust got into my eyes or something. n i check my eye, i pull the eyelid up, n guess what? the contact that i thought was gone, actually folded in half n went to the back of my eye!

I was freaking out. then i massage my eye gently n thank god, i could pull that contact out of my eye! since then i didnt want to wear contacts for a while. lol.

oh nooo why did u think that u picked the wrong glasses? i'm sorry!:(

Yeah i dont like that middle thing because when i pull up my glasses to my head for a bit n when i pull it backdown, my hair always got stuck in it. lol. i like the one thats blend in with the frame so there is no space for my hair to get stuck in it. if you know what i meant?

haha oh dear.. no wonder ur glasses broke. if i was ur glasses i would bite ur ankle when ever u step on me before i got broken. lol.

funny thing is, in indonesia, u dont need eye doctor prescription to get glasses and it's so much cheaper over there. so everytime i go back to indonesia, i always got a few pairs n bring them here. so i always have like 3 or 4 pairs that i can always change it n match it with my clothes. lol. sadly it has been a while since i went back there, n the ones i have broke one by one. n now i'm down to 2 pairs n i dont like the other one. so i actualy have 1 now. lol.

did u get ur glasses with transition lense? the ones that can get dark once u go out on a shinny day or day time and turns back to normal when u go back in the room or when it gets darker around. I had all mine with those lense (except one, thats the one that i dont like n never wear plus the frame was too big n touch my cheeks when i wear it n it's uncomfortable)

n that glasses that i dont like was actually the one my ex gf suggest me to get. I said yeah just because she thinks it looks good on me. lol

hahah it's okay, u dont have to come off anon that soon if u dont feel like it. we can keep the mystery around, n it will be fun. haha but if u want to come off anon i dont mind either. like i said whatever u r comfortable with. :)

not like a total break, maybe i would write a bit but wont force it that i have to write. if i hv the chance to write on my vacation, after the dark fic, i would keep my promise n write the last chapter of Lost In Assistance. People have been asking about it n it's not fair to make them wait for too long. i feel bad for it. :(

well, if i can finish writing the dark one before my vcation, i'll just post the parts that ready. I can make the part 3 done anyway.. :D

no, it's not her first time flying. she has been flying a few times. she just got her own small luggage. it's part of our new 4pcs luggages we bought. i think it's smaller than 18inch or something. so she can pull it around n put her snackies n toys in it.

I like early in the morning even though i hate waking up early but if u fly in the morning then u still have time left when u got to the destination. i like either early morning or late at night because the airport we'll be less busy, less people so it will make me less anxious. it always gets me anxious when i'm in the middle of busy crowd, especially if it's noisy. but yeah, i got panic when there are too many people around me, i feel claustrophobic n then i feel like being watched or judge by some people or something. haha.

the aiirport here n california r so different. the last time i went there i got irritated because it's too crowded. especially after living here in oklahoma the state n city that's wayyyy smaller n not crowded, so when u r back to the busy state u feel it more, u know.

oh yeah i think i've heard that. i saw a place like that last month it's a brazillian bbq place but im not sure it's the same name with the one u mentioned or not. i want to go there on my birthday. I loooooove brazillian bbq. especially the pincanha meat. it's the best!

haha yeah it's a long time. we met online, through a dating website. lol.

what's an Ace? i see that a lot but i dont understand what it means.

so anyway, u still cant recall wht type of girls u like?

so far i dont hv any plans today. i just want to write but it's so hard when u hv kid.whats urs? u dont work today, right? maybe if i have time i will make the story cover for this dark fic so it will be ready when the fic is ready.

next question?

Cheerio!

[littlebabycrybtch]

honestly its still so heart dropping and disgusting to continue to see aspec ppl have to put on that like. trained, overly polite, overly passive, complete Lack Of Self Respect tone that forces a sense of ‘i know i dont matter’ just so they dont get completely automatically ground into dust when they go out on a limb and ask ppl they wanna interact with; ‘hey please dont start anything but can you just let me know if you’re an aphobe or not’ and its Still met with soo much mockery and disbelief almost every time like....... bro what even is there not to understand. you’re literally being the proof of why they have to ask abt it i cannot Fathom that kind of Blindness like lmfao bitch they just dont wanna be around some1 who hates them.... thats .. normal... thats human?? thats human behaviors. its having standards for yourself. its FEELINGS like unironically rn pls tell me you’re clowning and that you do understand how fucken LOUD you all are abt normalizing aspec hate and how often we obviously run into bitches like you and have to ask this question. you know how LONG we’ve begged for basic support so you have to know that reacting to being asked if you give a shit abt somebody with that kind of mockery is disgusting and bratty and ignorant af bc bro lmao its YOUR FAULT for being a Part of the people HATING THEM....?

holy shit lol, nobody should be good with being around people who disrespect a part of them,,,, thats like a genuine personal problem if someone willingly wants to do that, so why tf would you be expecting that. bc its us? bc its us. bc its us and you feel THAT right in thinking that we’re so worthless, they we are just so Stupid for not knowing that too. its funny to you that we dont realize how little we matter. lmao its so ugly and warped like!!! god how fuckin evil can you get just calm down idiot lmao theyre asking if you respect them and you’re basically responding ‘why would it matter to you if i didnt?’ bhsejbjehg uhhhhhhjjjjjjjjj bc thats. a regular thing 2 care about. its standards like mam do you hang out with ppl who hate you. is that some normal thing to you like. avoiding the ppl who wish you werent around is sort of just . health and safety and basic emotional response and also common sense. really is. literally How dehumanizing and detached coudl you POSSIBLY be abt this to be directly asked by a marginalized identity group if you respect them or not, and actually say No, but Also be like ‘LMAO YOU REALLY ASKED ME THAT? IT DOESNT MATTER’ like. yeah it matters bc they stay existing actually, you dont have to hate them for that, and they wouldnt have to ask yall this stuff if you behaved lmfao. not to mention your reaction is literally the evidence that it apparently matters enough to You to make sure they know you dont accept them. fully, you are whats making it ‘matter’ so much bc you are the one going apeshit over a benign existence. you’re the one losing it over nothing.

like lmfafuckingo what is WRONG with your MIND dude im.... speechless like ‘dont drag me into discourse’ YOU HATING SOME1 AND THEM HATING YOU BACK IS NOT ‘’’’’’TUMBLR DISCOURSE’’’’’..............? WHAT R U DISPLAYING RN DID U NOT SPEND ENOUGH TIME IN THE GUIDANCE COUNSELORS OFFICE GROWIN UP WITH THIS ATTITUDE......... ITS THE NATURAL ORDER OF SOCIAL CONSEQUENCE......... ITS SOME BASIC ‘YOU STARTED IT’ TEE MOTHERFUCKIGN EM LOGIC...? YOU HATE THEM! FOR AUTONOMY! FOR HAVING AN IDENTITY AND ENOUGH SELF RESPECT TO STICK BY IT! THEY HATE YOU BACK I THINK THEYRE ALLOWED TO ASODLKFL;SDF AAAA DUUUDE lmaoooo and like good lord, passively existing around ppl who hate you and not challenging them isnt ‘avoiding discourse’. thats. so unhealthy sdjkf what kind of underdeveloped politics.... its toxic and absolutely batshit to genuinely ask that of Anyone. like bro stop Actually expecting ppl to hate themselves for ur comfort thats.... so weird i.... are you okay hhh nah you just need to step up and try to be a regular ass person actually and have sympathetic reasoning skills. being ace is fiiiine its nbd i dont need to to change for you, im allowed to be this, and i get to ask if you’re ok with that so i dont end up in a gross ass environment.

ace =/= discourse. you dont get a say in everything my dude. we’re not here for you to analyze, we dont give you permission and we dont need Your permission to exist, we’re not asking that of you when we send those msgs we’re tryna figure out if ur gonna be a bitch or not basically lol just seeing if we’re gonna be accepted by you or if we’re wasting our time like alksd;al its so traumatizing and unnecessary and MINDBOGGLING that u think its not fucked up ?? to feel like we are supposed to accept your hate of us as our truth?? you believe we’re that awful that its Funny when we dont Realize it or smth thats just so....... what would even make you respect us. literally absolutely nothing besides not existing in front of you. so. thats hate. thats irrational unwavering hate. beyond the fact that any group always has the right to ask you if YOU hate THEM, you cant sit there and mock the mere idea of caring when you are literally giving reason for it by trying your BEST to upset them and make them feel like they deserve to feel like shit for what they are afterwards. dfgjdfkgjdlfkgfd man the hypocrisy and like complete lack of self awareness in reg culture is like novacaine for my brain its so jarring sometimes. im allowed to have a problem with you having a problem with me bc i cant fix Being smth, you can fix how you feel abt it. balls in your court ill stay waiting. im not gonna hate myself bc you’re not right xoxo get a vaccine for w/e makes you this evil and selfish pls

[azlovesem]

Thats my girl. Its not salvation i want i have sone questions. No one on this earth Earth be able to save you either, yeah this a bit of a threat to anyone. I said i want yo talk to you, ill save them watch. At leadt save them from 4 years of him. Ha ha ga ahh. I already have saved plenty. Plenty more than you ever did with words. But youre not bad i like ur lil stories. Youll get waty vwtter tskes time. Dont show anyone til you khnos its ready yiull know. I had to bury a lot of souls though. Reading wont ever make you smart like me wed be a good team. Forget florida i did let me deal with them. Why do you think i hit them like that? Im more stubborn than yiull ever be look at the carnage. Im here to save, uiu have no faith. Why the fuckn even ever wear a cross what you think youre boss? Yeah right woman my ace of spades is always boss. But uoure cute i like reading too. What do you fucking want you asked for it. What do you like to read? Dont look at anyobe no one can help you ilm kill everynone if em. Just they have to ket us talj and go away. You think anyones scared of p diddy ask them about me. Ya ever ho to that guys parties? Ha ha ha haahhhh. I never said nutn i just asked. What a piece of fuckn shit at least i have courage to just say it. You know anything about that guy. Ahh who knows. Probably not im guessing. Yeah fuck new york all i do is kill when i ho there. Dont likd if in out dead. Go e. See ya. Maybe now thi gs changed i dont know. Looks like a dump drivn in through jersey. Dont stop for lights. Red or sny colour. I wrote pretty well about atreet life eh. Its raee very few higher ups are even literate. Theyre not the educated classes Em. You know i dont mnow about save me or you maybe we re too set in our ways. But i think wed just feel good together. I knew you in snoyhefifevtype dhit ive known it its why i ovnored you and intended forever. I should have in hinddigbt but mostly om happy. Im going yo anihilate cali next year gone. Yeeh nobody cares a pir if prople are fine with ut Emba this aint the 2000s ur beain is stick in. But i sm a beast. I like that story its not bad. Its one of the better disney movies. I reslly love you. Toy seem good maybe im off of yhats cae i want yo see you more than ever. Im not human. This us not at all a human voice Emma. Mmm ill wear down watch this shit. MICHAEL!!!!! He cant be readoned with. Hes been on Gods team forever now. Because im in the right thats obviously why you lost the fight bad. I font gove a shit for yoy til a few months ago i had successfully blocked you. I slways thought too young. But you sint so green r young no more. Youre dtill gorgeous though. You see my perdicament. Litsnof people already does do fyckn what. Look at the eorkd. Irs the end Emna not the beginning or middle. Have dome fun begire i go off to die in ww3

Nobody is coming to save you. Get up.

[thegeminisage]

Do u have any advice for a questioning ace or resource references that may have helped u? I consider myself a bi ace and I DO find ppl attractive and beautiful and I feel all gooey/butterflies w attractive ppl but I also don't want to have sex with them?? Like maybe down the line if I really RLLY fall in love with someone and they want that I can try/ease into it but I don't have any intention or want to do that right now. Does that sound ace at all?

the website i went to when i was figuring stuff out was the message boards on aven, but i haven’t been there in over a literal decade, so i can’t vouch for it anymore - i feel like i read that they had a little bit of a racism problem in recent years. reddit is for the most part deeply DEEPLY cursed but i comment over at r/asexuality sometimes (not...under this name i have a secret name lol) and they seem like generally a good bunch. just, uh, don’t wander out of there. i really wish i had a tumblr blog to give you but i find most of them these days are filled with people complaining about aphobia which is SOOO fucking valid but it gets disheartening to see on your dash like ALL the time yk? but if anyone has any they can link ‘em in the notes. imo the best resource is to talk to or read about what other ace people are saying about their feelings and experiences, especially older aces or people who are “used to” being ace, if that makes any sense. not to sound too self-important but being almost two decades out from my first “oh i might be that” moment i like to think i qualify lol. i say this a lot but ftr my door is always open for these kinds of questions!! 

anyway, first of all, the short answer, yes, that does sound totally ace. you can get the butterflies and find people beautiful without finding them HOT/sexually attractive. you can be attracted to someone w/o it being sexual. so if all or most or even much of the time you don’t feel sexual attraction, you’re under the ace umbrella.

asexuality is on a huge spectrum and there’s not really any such thing as like the ace police who are gonna come throw u in jail if you’re not “really” ace. but labels are supposed to describe our experiences, not the other way around - you don’t need to worry too much about if you’re “ace enough,” if that makes any sense. you're allowed to just try it out and think of yourself that way for awhile and see if it feels good and makes you feel more right with the world. a lot of ace people go thru TONS of different labels - i was bisexual, demisexual, a lesbian, a bunch of stuff. so don’t feel like you have to pick one and stick to it.

one of the things about asexuality is that it’s really hard to confirm the ABSENCE of something (which is why a lot of ace people wind up IDing as bi at first - in both cases it’s a situation of feeling the same about every gender, it’s just the switch being flipped “on” or “off” - also please read that post i think it would rly help u). it’s also easy to mix up sexual attraction and libido, and for a lot of people, especially afab people/people with periods, both can fluctuate with both the time of month and your age. so you don’t have to have a clear-cut “ugh NO thanks” reaction or total disinterest in sex/finding other people sexy to “count” as ace. neutrality or ambivalence totally “counts” too (the ace community even coined special terms for people who are sex neutral vs repulsed vs favorable), even having sexual attraction one every other month when the weather is right or having a list of exception “counts” because there are SO many ways to be asexual, it really is such a massive spectrum!!! and aces are the last people who are gonna be gatekeepy about it lol

i don’t personally care for microlabels, i don’t even use the split attraction model because i find the sheer amount of jargon overwhelming/exhausting and difficult to explain to the general population, but reading through the list of them (this list also explains some split attraction model terms) gives you an idea of sheer number of different ways people experience asexuality and attraction to others. it’s part of why i love being asexual, because even if we tend to overthink things, we’re a group of people who are willing to tackle the norms of sex/romance/etc and talk about the different ways those feelings have us interacting with the world. my point is at some point almost every ace person has gone “does that even COUNT as ace?” so like if you’re asking the question imo that’s one of the most asexual things you can do lol <3

anyway, that’s it!! like i said, you don’t have to memorize that whole vocabulary list up there, i personally find the sheer amount of jargon to be too much, BUT i think it’s good to know that there are a lot of ways to “fit” into that ace box. so if it’s a useful label for you and it helps you communicate how you feel to other people more easily, Thats The One, yk? i hope you got at least a little something helpful out of the rambling. ur always welcome to write back if u ever want to talk <3

[hoseoksactualass]

Hey! Can I request a WayV reaction to going down on their partner? Thank you💕

im a simple person i see the word wayv and i Cry

[[MORE]]

kun: 😌 he’s good at it i tell u. he prides himself in what he does and how he does it. likes indulging, wrapping his arms around their thighs and flashing his million dollar smile because he likes how they respond. he will want to work em into a finish, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t wanna take his time. will keep going until his dark hair sticks to his forehead with perspiration and his pupils are blown.

ten: always willing to go down on his partner. it’s like a lil snack. u can ask for it sometimes, and other times he’s just like oh?look what time it is it’s dick/pussy on my mouth o clock. he can go on forever tbh; he likes to think there’s some form of art to it. the way he can make his partner react to his mouth and tongue. the sounds, the way the light hits. ten loves being unpredictable, as in one day he’s like omg i will do everything for u my good girl/boy, and then the next he will b like let’s see if i can make u cum twice in 3 minutes yay!

winwin: not his favorite thing to do, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t wanna be good at it! which means winwin will wanna try n go the extra mile to see what his mouth can make his partner feel. tbh when he’s in the act, he can’t keep his hands to himself. winwin enjoys using his fingers more, whichever way gets his partner moaning. works like he wants the solicited praise. does it to be told he’s good at it. fuck if he gets praised a lot he’ll just snap! more details on that soon.....................

lucas: when i tell u it’s like he falls in love with what he’s going down on😭😭😩 it’s like he opens up a place in his heart for oral and gets all smiley and giggly as he performs. he LOVES going slow, keeping posted, always telling his partner to tell him what they want and what they don’t want. he loves tracing his fingers across their body as he uses his lips, softly chuckling when he feels them tremble. just a very sweet boy❤️ he’ll be going at it for a bit now n pop his head up with his round eyes n messy lips just to ask u to cum all over his face 🥺

xiaojun: i don’t think he’s the best at it ! but that’s because i don’t think he rlly enjoys it either. nevertheless, he’s the hand holder type when it comes to this. likes keeping his eyes locked on his partner and will grab their hand just to keep tight hold of it or to guide it to his hair. when i tell u he likes when his hair gets messed up and tugged ���� he also loves the praise. he wants to be caressed and told he’s doing great while doing so. a bit loud 😳 a lot of humming n groaning

hendery: help...help me.....hendery rlly just has me thinking 25/8. pls i just know he’s a bit freaky ! he loves pleasing his partner n to think to himself that he can do it with his mouth???? u can ltrly tap him n say can i pls sit on ur face when we get home n he’ll be like of course baby why not😁. he loves praising tf out of them ! saying rlly nasty but flattering things that gets them melting right before him. takes lil breaks just to smile at them n watch as they catch their breath. when i tell u he likes getting all spitty and shit 😄😄😄haha.....

yangyang: obsessed tbh. wants to be an ace at it. rlly fucking cruel. wants to make them feel good but doesn’t wanna give his partner exactly what they want. most of the time he’s sloppy, dominant, harsh. either will tease the fuck out of his partner and LAUGH in their face or just go RLLY HARD until they cry. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his moments where he goes....🥺hm maybe i will show my love rn ❤️ . for which he becomes very baby n soft n smiley n just wants to be pat in the head n told he is a Sex God.

[rocorambles]

woah i just read ur female player hc and like what would it be like at training camps probably would get confused as a third manager and gets angy tee em

LOL Love this! Let’s stick with the third-year wing spiker I wrote about in my latest version of this concept. 

Yamamoto is the idiot who definitely mistakes you for a team manager and he’s WAILING about the fact that Karasuno has three female managers now, but before Tanaka and Nishinoya can yell at him for being wrong, you’ve already stuck your face right in front of Yamamoto’s and are snarling at him that you’re a player and that you’re going to kick his ass on the court and this poor boy is cowering in fear as he apologizes. Luckily for him, Kuroo steps in like the responsible captain that he is and apologizes for his teammate, but not without sliding in a teasing comment about hoping that you can back up your fierce words on the court. 

But Kuroo is pleasantly surprised by just how good you are when Nekoma goes against Karasuno and his eyes gleam as a wide smile spreads across his face as he seriously focuses on blocking your spikes and Yamamoto has hearts for eyes as he watches you play. Like Karasuno, Nekoma drinks that female respect juice, so honestly, they’ll be a little surprised to see you on the team, but when they see you in action and see how talented you are, they could care less that you’re a girl. You’re just another strong opponent they need to beat. 

It’ll be similar for Fukurodani and Akaashi is as polite to you as he is towards any other player at the camp. Bokuto excitedly watches you, spurred on by your skills and the two of you have fun on the court playing against each other. You’re nowhere near as good as Bokuto (I mean he is a top 5 ace in the country for a reason), but that only inspires you even more and the two of you excitedly chat with each other in between practice games and you already know you’ll be asking to practice with him during free time later. 

Now the one exception is going to be Konoha. This boy is a flirt and he just cannot help himself, even if you are a fellow athlete. That just makes him like you more! He is going to keep on taking his chances by flirting with you, never in a creepy way, just in an endearing way, and you’re honestly pretty flattered that this handsome skilled athlete is giving you his attention. But he better watch out because even if you don’t mind, you can bet that your entire team is watching him with hawk eyes and Daichi will literally be hovering over you whenever Konoha gets too close to you. 

[xuteline-blog]

I want you to love me now

read on ao3!

Word Count: 3,489

Pairing: Seonghwa/Hongjoong

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Feelings Realization, Past Relationship(s), Getting Back Together, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Chatting & Messaging, seonghwa jus wants to be held..., and thats exactly what hongjoong will do!!, Kissing, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Not Beta Read

Description:

Seonghwa didn't know who he had expected to be there at Yunho's movie night marathon. All he was told by Yeosang was that he had invited a couple friends over. He had never thought he'd find himself reunited with the very person that taught him what love really was, and to have a chance at it again.

Seonghwa knew what love was. He knew about it before he was even in preschool.

His mother and father, holding hands as they stared into each other's eyes, whispering confessions before giving a peck on the lips to eachother, waving goodbye as one of them left.

His mother and fathers thumbs caressing eachothers hands, sitting on the couch as his fathers arms enveloped his mothers frame, both content, both warm.

His mother and father, in love.

He saw it every day. He knew what love was.

He was told in class once that being in love would be when hes most happiest. He was told in class once that being in love was what everyone wanted. He was told in class once that being in love felt like you were a firework, about to be ignited, and when you saw the person you loved, you would light up, and felt like as if your body was on fire.

He was told about it every day. He knew what love was.

It wasn't until Seonghwa reached his senior years in high school that he contemplated love. Looking back, he had never really felt what people told him love felt like. He had had his fair shares of relationships, and by the way he felt absolutely downtrodden after his breakup with a guy in his class two years ago, he really had thought he had been in love. But maybe... it was just infatuation? Maybe an oblivious case of puppy love.

He remembered the day clearly.

It was stormy, the rain pouring down as Seonghwa looked out the window of the library. He had came here to study, as his last exam was coming up and he couldnt afford to fail. His scholarship depended on it.

He sat alone at a table, the librarian allowing him to keep his hot chocolate as his books and papers laid in front of him, his small makeshift study desk unorganised and messy.

He watched as the rain droplets danced around each other, how they stepped close before stepping back before colliding together, catching eachother and finishing their dance at the bottom of the window pane.

What a weird metaphor, he thought. Rain droplets, two lovers dancing around each other and away, too scared to cross paths before giving their all to their other.

He had never felt such a way.

A hand slammed on his desk, tearing him away from his thoughts. He looked up at the culprit, his wide eyes furrowing as he took in who had scared him.

"Hongjoong," He stopped twirling his pen between his fingers, holding it steady as its tip nearly touched paper. "What do you need?"

"I just wanted to check on you!" Hongjoong smiled, and Seonghwa felt warmth blossom in his chest at the confession. Hongjoong grabbed a chair from the table infront of Seonghwa, turning it to sit at Seonghwas desk. "You've been hauling yourself up here a lot lately, I was worried if you were doing good," Seonghwa fought a smile as the shorter boy sat down, leaning onto Seonghwas table.

"I have been doing fine, just studying," Hongjoong furrowed his eyebrows at the statement.

"But exams have finished?"

"Not this last one, its an exam to confirm whether or not I will be going to my desired University,"

"Oh? But i thought the scholarship covered that?"

"No, it was like a golden ticket. All expenses paid and a course set for me as long as I ace this exam,"

"What happens if you dont pass?"

"They take my scholarship and give it to someone else. They also refer me to other universities and colleges that would suit me if I so ask them too," Hongjoong looked down at the desk, eyes examining the strewn papers as he pouted. Seonghwa could fight the smile that ordained his face.

"Whens the exam?" Seonghwa grabbed one of his textbooks and his writing book, copying a few things down.

"On Friday," Hongjoongs eyes widened, his mouth agape.

"Thats only two days away! You better be studying!"

"You said you came up here because of how ive been," Seonghwa put down his pen, raising his hands to make air quotes. "'Hauling myself up here'"

Hongjoong banged the table, causing a semi loud bang to exho through the library. The librarian looked aorund the corner, pinpointing Hongjoong with her glare and shushing him. Hongjoongs cherks turned red as embarrassment took over him.

"I-I know i said that! I just— didn't you just have your last school exam yesterday, then? Have you been studying for this exam while stuudying for the schools ones, or just started now?" Seonghwa wtched as Hongjoong leaned back in his chair, a pout making its way back onto his face.

"I had been studying for this since Saturday, ap you do not need to worry. In fact, i think this may be my last long study session for a while. I'm pretty confident of where i stand right now," Hongjoong looked up at Seonghwa, a small smile forming.

"Thats nice to hear. Does that mean you could probably hang out with us tomorrow? We all miss you..." Hongjoong trailed off, having grabbed Seonghwas pen and spinning it on the table. Seonghwa felt more warmth course through his body at the statement. He missed them too.

"I will, do not fret. I've just been—"

"—We know you've been busy! You don't need to say it, we all have been busy!," Seonghwa stared at Hongjoong, the sudden outburst unexpected. "But... That was a yes?" Hongjoong sat up straighter, his eyes wide and sparkling. How cute.

...Cute?

"Yes, I will be there Joongie, don't worry," Hongjoong jumped up, startling Seonghwa. He grabbed Seonghwas hands and held the tight, smiling brightly.

"After school, meet up at the front gates, do not be a single minute late!" And as quickly as Hongjoong had showed up, he ran off, barreling through the library doors with a bang, the librarian looking at Seonghwa with a frown while the boy stared at his hands, caught off guard by what Hongjoong had done.

He traced his left hand with his right, and his right with his left, eyes wide as he felt the tingles in his hands slowly dissipate. He felt somewhat... giddy. A rush from when Hongjoong had touched him. Seonghwa felt heat rise on his cheeks.

And while his body was still riding the high of the moment, from when Hongjoong held his hands, to his bright smiles directed at him, he couldn't help but think 'Oh no'.

***************************

It was a stormy day, and Seonghwa was stuck in his dorm. His roommate had left earlier, telling Seonghwa that he was visiting his parents for the week. So here Seonghwa was, alone in his dorm, a storm playing out right in front of him, and his hands curled around a cup full of hot chocolate as he lived carelessly for the week off. What more could he ask for?

He sipped his hot beverage, humming in content as he swirled the hot chocolate in his mouth, savouring the taste.

As he reminisced in the moment, his phone chimed. Seonghwa turned his head towards his phone, glancing at the notification on the lock screen. He leant over, grabbing the phone and unlocking it. He clicked on the notification, which was a message, and read it.

hehet

would u be free rn?

Seonghwa stared at the message eyebrows furrowed before sighing and putting his hot chocolate down.

pluto

yes I would, why?

also, why pluto

hehet

cuz u aint real 😍😍😌

pluto

what

pluto is real sangie

its just not a planet

sangie.

hehet

omfg stop bullying me

hehet changed pluto's name to bully!

bully

youre insufferable

hehet

u love it

ok anyway what i actually came here for

so ur actually free to do anythin today??

bully

yes sangie, im free today

why, did something happen? do you need me to come over and hang out?

hehet

no no, dw

just needed to make sure so everything goes according to plan

ok so anyway

come meet us at yunhos dorm, were havin a mini movie party n meeting some of his friends!!

bully

oh?

what kind of movies? and what kind of friends?

hehet

idk but not horror thats all i know!! i remember yunho sayin he wanted to watch some disney or nostalgic films so theres that

also !! do not worry abt the friends!!

they r super kind n funny, youll love em :]

bully

youve already met them? thats kind rude :/

hehet

it was by accident :[[

i went over to yunhos to give him back a hoodie he left at our last study sess @ my dorm n i met em!!

it was only for a minute, i was rushin since i was late to class

bully

hmm... ok, ill accept it

what time will it be then?

hehet

at 4 and if yunhos roomate does end up coming home early from his mini trip, itll end at 10, but if not, we can stay the night

bully

not to be rude, but i really hope his roommate does not come back to the dorms until later tomorrow

hehet

same

knowing us, we'd just pass out on the couch anywaybully

ok u guys will, im responsible

hehet

sounds pretty fake ngl :///

bully

ok then, i shall go back to what i was doing before you messaged me

hehet

wait seonghwa i wanna keep talkin im bored :[[

seonghwa??

seongie??

ddeonghwa????

: [

***************************

It was an hour before Seonghwa had to leave. He had just gotten out of the shower, mostly wiped down, but his hair was still dripping.

He shook his head, feeling his hair stick to his face and water droplets fly everywhere. He brought up the towel to his head and vigorously dried his hair.

After drying himself down, he got dressed. Nothing extravagant or formal, but something comfortabe and simple. It was practically a sleep over he was invited to, after all.

It was now 15 minutes till Seonghwa would have to be at Yunho's. He know walking to Yunho's dorm would take at least 10 minutes, since it was not on the other side of campus, but a far bit away.

Seonghwa went through his mental checklist. Phone, check. Charger, check. Earphones, check. Small over the shoulder bag full of snacks, a pair of spare clothes, and an apparent rose flavoured lip balm, check.

At the thought of the lip balm, he licked his lips. His lips had been dry during the week from the cold weather, so he took up Yeosangs advice on picking up one or two lip balms. Of course, he bought the only ones that were supposedly to be what a flower would taste like. He picked up the lip balm, applying it to his lips and smacking them together before putting it back.

He checked the time.

12 minutes left.

He grabbed all his things, his keys jingling in his hands and a dmall umbrella in his pockets. He opened his dorm door, exiting and locking the door before finally leaving the dorm building. He grabbed his umbrella, opening it up once he stepped foot outside, wlaking along the footpath, frowning when he noticed the mud making its way across the path.

He sighed as the rain started to pour harder, his grip tightening on his umbrella.

He did not want to walk back to his dorm through this weather.

***************************

He made it to Yunho's dorm a bit later than he had expected. His shoes were caked in mud, and no, he did not slip in mud, he just wanted to be like Peppa Pig for a fleeting moment.

He knocked on Yunho's door, wiping his shoes off at the mat and taking them off. He shook his umbrella, the water flying everywhere. Maybe he should ahve done that outside, but it was too late now.

The door opened, revealing Yeosang who just pouted.

"You're late," Seonghwa pushed past Yeosang, dropping his umbrella near the door and placing his shoes near the rest. There's definitely a few new pairs there, either Yunho got more shoes, or his friends are already here.

"You try walking here in this weather," A few laughs were heard in the distance. Yep, definitely here.

Yeosang shook his head, closing and locking the door. He turned to Seonghwa, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards lounge.

"So, what's happened so far?"

"Nothing much! Just been playing some switch waiting for you," Yeosang stopped as they made it to the lounge. "Look who's here!" Seonghwa looked at the three men that were on the couch, all three watching the TV as they battled in MarioKart.

"Is it Seonghwa?" Yunho asked before he crossed the finish line, jumping up and laughing.

"I win!" The man sat on the right of Yunho crossed the line next, pointing to the man that sat on the left of Yunho, laughing.

"And you're last!" The man on the left sighed, corssing the line.

"Wow, that was so fun," Yunho laughed, the man that came second now standing up and turning around. Huh, almost as tall as Yunho.

"Let me introduce them to you, Hwa?" The man on the left, stood up, but still didnt turn around. Quite short, thats cute.

"This," Yunho gestured towards the taller man out of the two newcomers. "Is Mingi," The man now identified as Mingi waved his hand, a smile plastered on his face.

"And this," Yunho reached over to the smaller man, grabbibg his shoulder and forcefully turning him around. "Is—"

For a moment, the world stopped.

For a moment, their eyes met.

For a moment, they were seeing eachother again.

"—Hongjoong?" Seonghwa blurted out, cutting off Yunho. The shorter man, now known as Hongjoong, shared a similar expression to Seonghwa, yes wide and mouth agape.

Holding hands, watching as the sun set over the horizon, the light painting his face, his eyes sparkling.

"Seonghwa?" Yunho looked between the two, confusion plastered all over his face.

Bright smiles, warm laughs. Soft lips, peppered kisses.

"You two knew eachother?" Seonghwa nodded, at a loss for words as he stared at the boy infront of him.

"Thats so cool! It's like it's fate for you two to meet again," Yunho exclaimed. "But come on, we gotta get ready for our movie marathon, its half hour past the time we were supise to start!"

***************************

It was around midnight that Seonghwa finally couldnt take the awkwardness around him and Hongjoong. He got up from his spot on the floor, making his way to the kitchen and flicked on the light, going to grab a drink and a snack from his bag.

As he trifled through his bag, finding the pack of chips he craved for, he turned around and almost felt his soul leave his body.

There was Hongjoong, standing right in front of him.

He had to hold back a scream.

"Woah! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Hongjoong threw his hands up, taking a step back.

Seonghwa gained back his thoughts, the adrenaline dissipating.

"Do you need something?" He asked. He watched as Hongjoong suddenly became nervous, looking down at his feet. He has red hair... it looks... fluffy.

"I-I just... I kinda wanted to talk to you?" Seonghwa felt heat rise to his cheeks as he ran through the possibilities of just what Hongjoong would possibly say.

"About what?"

Silence overtook the two for a moment. Then Hongjoong spoke up.

"About... why you left," Seonghwa shifted his body, suddenly feeling so small. "Why you never contacted us," He felt shame slowly seep through his body. "Why you... never contacted... me," He looked down at his feet.

No one spoke for a minute, both thinking, both waiting.

"I never did get my scholarship..." Hongjoong looked up at Seonghwa, eyes wide.

"Wha—"

"I passed the exam for it, but by the time the people giving out the scholarship had marked it, all the scholarships had been given away,"

Seonghwa felt tears begin to pool in his eyes.

"I was so disappointed in myself, I didnt want you all to see me," He inhaled shaky breath, emotions coming back as he relived the moment in his mind. "So I just told you all that I got in and... left,"

He felt Hongjoong take his hands, caressing them softly. Like he used too.

"Why did you never talk to me after? You didnt even tell me you wanted to break up," Hongjoongs voice broke near the end. "You just went... radio silent," Seonghwa couldn't help the tear that ran down his face.

"I never wanted to break up," Seonghwa squeezed Hongjoongs hands. "I just— I wanted time, time to fix things, so i could say I was attending college, that I wasn't a fuck up..." He felt Hongjoong squeeze his hands back, he heard how the other boy sniffled. He must be crying too.

"Seonghwa, listen to me," Suddenly, Hongjoong was cupping his face, his hands so soft, and his eyes looking straight into Seonghwas soul. "You are not a fuck up, you hear me?"

"I'm sorry," His voice broke, tears now streaming down his face, one after the other. Hongjoong had tears slipping down his face himself. He lifted his thumb, wiping some tears off Seonghwas face.

"It's okay, I forgive you, HwaHwa," Seonghwa couldn't help but let a whine escape him at the nickname.

"HwaHwa! You're so cute!"

Hongjoong laughed wetly at the reaction.

"You'd think i forget what that nickname did to you," He stroked Seonghwas cheek lovingly, smiling fondly at Seonghwa, and Seonghwa couldnt help but feel his previous worries disappear just looking at him.

Seonghwa buried his face into Hongjoongs neck and threw his arms around Hongjoongs shoulders, letting another embarrassed whine escape him.

Hongjoong laughed at the action, snaking his arms around Seonghwas waist. They both stayed in that position for a few minutes, iust enjoying the company, the warmth. Enjoying eachother.

Hongjoong threw his arms over Seonghwas neck, pulling him down to give him a strong hug.

"Your hugs are the best, Joongie,"

Seonghwa felt Hongjoong shift, his hold on Seonghwa loosening. He felt a hand coursing through his hair, the action sending shivers down his spine, and a blush on his cheeks.

"I've missed this," Hongjoong whispered. Seonghwa picked his head back up, looking at Hongjoong.

"I did too," Hongjoong smiled.

Hongjoong raised his hand, putting it under Seonghwas chin and slowly pulling him down back towards him. Soon enough, their noses were touching, and they could feel eachothers breaths fan eachothers faces.

It took just a moment for Seonghwa to understand what Hongjoong wanted to do.

He looked to Hongjoongs eyes, noticing how they flickered back up to his then fown to his lips. Seonghwa did the same, his gaze lowering down to Hongjoongs own plush lips.

Seonghwa unconsciously licked his own.

"Can I..." Hongjoong trailed off, but Seonghwa knew what he was asking. He nodded his head, feeling Hongjoong pull him closer.

Then he felt Hongjoongs lips on his.

And suddenly, he felt like he was back in high school. When Hongjoong would sneak up on him in the bathrooms to give him a few wuick pecks on the lips before running away. When Hongjoonga arms would wrap around his his waist, pulling him into his lap, and even if Seonghwa was the taller one out of them, Hongjoong would always find a way to make Seonghwa feel small and safe in his arms.

He felt light again, like all his problems had been thrown away. He felt like the weight he carried had been lifted.

Seonghwa broke the kiss first, gasping for air, breathless. His lips a shade of bright pink

Hongjoong just stared at the boy, breath taken at the sight before him.

Hongjoong pulled Seonghwa back down again, both diving in for a kiss, each one more heated than the last.

Soon enough, both broke away, catching their breathe as they were pushed against eachother.

"I've wanted to do that for so long since then. I've missed it sso much," Hongjoong panted out.

"Me too," Seonghwa took a hold of Hongjoongs hands, looping his fingers between his own.

"This means that, you know," Hongjoong was anxious again, eyes flicking from Seonghwa to the floor. "That we'll do this again... right? That—"

"That we'll be back together?" Seonghwa cut in, heart beating fast at what Hongjoong was asking.

"Yes," Hongjoong looked up at Seonghwa, still nervous on what the answer would be.

And Seonghwa couldn't have answered more perfectly.

"Of course," Seonghwa dived back in for another kiss, this one not heated, but filled with something more deeper. He broke the kiss, burying his face in Hongjoongs neck. "Of course,"

"I love you," Seonghwa felt his heart stutter.

"I love you too," Hongjoong smiled, pulling Seonghwa towards him.

"Forever," Hongjoong whispered.

"Always," Seonghwa whispered back.

[limetimo]

[ID: A series of screenshots of posts and memes about asexuality (under the cut):

1. An ace meme: An asian person in a grey shirt with a white rectangle that reads "FEAR OF GOD" in black letters on it, they're facing right, one hand outstretched in a 'stay away' gesture and holding a katana in the other hand, pointed at the off-screen threat. The background is the ace flag with some sparkles. Caption says:

GET BEHIND ME (white on black stripe) Asexuals (in a different font and in the ace flag colours on gray stripe) I'LL PROTECT YOU (white on purple stripe)

2. a chat format post by tumblr user @remose--less

me, an asexual: hey that person is super cute my hell brain: what? time for an Ace Test. do you want to have sex with them? is this sexual attraction? *goggly eyes emoji* me: i mean ? no ? brain: look at their leg. do you want to touch it? me: no ?? that hadn't crossed my mind ? brain: just imagine it though. what's it like me: i guess it's not the literal worst thing ever...? brain: GOT EM !!! FAKE ACE !!! BEEN CAUGHT !!!

addition by @whereicansininpeace:

Me @ ur brain: that's not sexual attraction, that's sensual attraction big difference pal.

3. a reddit post by @rereukadoo:

Me: "I wish I had someone tp cuddle with and be close to and do fun stuff with" My brain: "OPEN UP THIS IS THE ARO POLICE. WE'RE HERE TO REVOKE YOUR LICENSE"

4. A 4-square format meme, each square has a short text and a picture

Sex-Favourable Yeah sex is cool, but have you ever tried garlic bread *a pic of yummy garlic bread*

Sex-Indifferent Yeah sex is mediocre, but have you ever browsed reddit *a picture of a bored woman is suit looking at her laptop screen*

Sex-Averse Yeah sex is lame but have you ever sat through someone explaining something you already understood *a picture of a woman lying in the middle of a bed, looking like her soul had left the body*

Sex-Repulsed Yeah sex is gross, but have you ever stepped on seaweed while swimming *underwater picture of feet stepping on seaweed in murky water*

5. A phone screenshot of a google search "is mr clean gay"

"Mr. Clean is neither gay, straight nor bi, he is asexual because sex of any kind is just too dirty for him. His first love has always been cleaning. He can't even bear to be seen in anything but clean, perfectly whire clothes. So it has been his whole life."

6. A no/yes drake meme

no: Having sex and being in a relationship. yes: Garlic brad and bread with gralic.

7. a screenshot of tumblr post by @wackadaisical-weirdo

As an asexual, I don't think people appreciate how attractive people are with clothes on enough

#clothes are hot #asexual #asexual memes # ace #people are pretty

8. A 2-panel comics

left panel: drawing of a stickman: I'm asexual right panel: the stick man is sprouting a second head: Now begins my mitosis

[49scribes-a]

{--Everybody in this stream was fucking HIGH.--}

He's either also cold or he's going through withdrawals, one of the two.

No he's having a seizure

STOP BOUNCING DEAK

All those burnt corpses look like bacon to me

Crispy dragon-charred bacon

Human jerky

I’d love some jerky rn

Id push you

BACKFLIP BACK FLIP

you're a COWARD. GO TO THE TOP

NO

EMBRACE THE JUMP

EAGLE JUMP

jfc

theres a hay pile at the bottom waiting to catch you. youll be fine

because physics works for you in this game

t his isn't assasin's c r e ed

yes it is. right?

Wrong game

that's what we're watching?

theres is clearly hay

i see parkor

hay and parkour= ass creed

exact

HRDCORE PARKOR

lavi looks like a hobbit ngl. i mean deak

hes gonna steal the ring from gollum

can u see the eye of mordor

hes carrying it

it is

jump. you'll live

Holy shit I survived

TOLD U

the eye of mordor is mobile now

it was great

7/10

TOLD U UR IL CHILD BEARING BONES WOULD CATCH YOU - THEYRE SPRINGY AND RESILIENT

U did it

congrdeurtions

am i having a stroke

Ashdjsjdk

idk - were all varying seconds behind of each other. so mavbe

Who keeps a deer pelt with bread smh

makes sense

That’s why they all sick in Skyrim

the deer pelt is surprisingly sterile

can't have the babes

its the most sterile thing in thie fucking game

you're right

i cant believe deak is aa hobbit

idk if its gonna keep your bread all spongy tho

just wrap it tight. it'll be fine

I mean it was stale so probably not

and your breads gonna tste kinda funny

tHTAT'S PRETTY

SKYRIM IS PRETTY

Noice

AESHTETIC

I CAN TYPE I SWEAR

straight up

r U havin' a stroke?

mE VISION KEEPS BLURRING

I wanna go somepe similar to skyrim, take up residency in n bandoned castle. spruce it up

go to europe

and then pretend im a ghost haunting it when visitor come

they have random "castles"

tHAT SKY THO

SCREEN SHOTS. NICE. GOOD CHOICE

I dont want [castles] I want C A S T L E S

we all have dreams

sweet dreams are made of thiiissss

My dream is to be able to spell astetic

who am i to disagree

you men bees

Asthmatic

mean*

travel the world and the seven seas

Jesus Christ

aesthetic?

Yes that one!

antsthetic

I wanna lick the sugar candy in the sky

Aesthetic !!

antstetic?antstatic?ant static

aunt stacy

A e s t h e t I c

that sounds like something Ant-Man would say

sunnylantern gets it = w=

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUND UN DUN DUN ANT MAAAAANNN H A

Why is that corpse thiccer then I am

duran duran hungry like the wolf

wait, I missed the corpse

we have to go back for the corpse

go back for the corpse, tho

leave NO man behind

you mean jeky

jerky*

no it's jeky

nO

okay, I thought I saw a shadow back there and it looked like a werewolf

we do not waste jerky

Bacon

Mmmmm Bacon....

bc u cannibals wanna eat them

it might have been

don't waste good meat

jfc

Meat is meat

meat is meat. yes

they dead they don't care

exactly

bacon is delicious as hell

MEAT MEAT MEAT

HEATHENS

sos jerky

ALL OF U

U'R A HEATHEN 2 DON'T PLAY COY

scuse you - were pagan

i'm an angel

sounds fake

idk what ur talking about

wOW

it does sound fake

Im pure so I mean

We're all heathens

sounds fake

we're all heathens yes

all my friends are heathens

take it slow

take it slow

(twenty one pilots voice) all my friends are heathens-GDI

TOO SLOW.

TAKE IT SLOW

LMAO

wait for them to ask u who u kno

please don't make

i forgot the damn lyrics

any sudden moves

any sudden moves

AAYY

pfffbbbbt

u don't know the half of the abuse

Y’all remember all that smh

XD

hell yeah man

it catchy

Can’t even remember my middle name

s AM E

same

adopt a child. it's time

tbh - replace remembering our names with more important infrmation, like musical lyrics...people use those alot

my middle name is simple as heck. it's only 3 letters

adopting children usually doesn't go well; just look at doug

dic

Hige. No.

ann

but

No

Mine is four and yet :->

dick:smiley:

mine is 5 letters

NO. Dicks.

mINE IS FOUR

yep, that's my middle name. u caught me

mines four too

Ahsjdjdjd

Maybe we all have the same middle name

i'm Liz Dick now

LMAO

Liz dick taylor

'cause we all have the same middle name

has a nice flow

it does doesn't it?

not me

i'm proud of my name

mine is 3 letters

naw. it's Dick now

its four now

Nope, it three

FINE. Dic

ass

U CAN BE THE HALF SSED DIC

there u go

Hjssjjs

oh yeaaaa

sounds like that's yours, isa

OOOHHH

wow

DANG

: )

SNAP

isa ass

isass

has a ring

ees ass

isa sass

Eat a ss

thees assthesis

isa's ass

prometheous

you're all terrible

w he e z e s

WHERE DO U GET THAT. FROM ISA ASS.

rhymes with thesis

prometheass

that name makes me uncomfortable

I want that as my new name

hahahahahah

Prod the a sa

i blame the movie and all the movies that's connected to that one. I get nightmares

don't worry i'll protect you

really tho, me middle name means darling in french so

aren't u special

i'm an angel

meanie

all of u can fight me

u'r an angle, isa

ur no angel, isa

My middle name is from my great grandmother

I was named aftar a slutty country singer. and a car

PHHHHTTTT

i was named after *no one*

a car and a country singer. fuck me

my middle name is Spanish

lucky

QUESO

i'm hispanic and my middle name ain't hispanic :confused:

UR MIDDLE NAME IS QUESO

THREE LETTERS, HIGE

KSO

3 LETTERS, HIGE

osHIT

I'm hispanic and all my names be hispanic

THAT HAPPENED

the kink cavern

the falling cavern

u and deak gonna kink it up in here

WHy

wait ....still children in this. nvm

because it's expected

Looks like stds grow there ngl

deak is a child. cover his eyes

WH A T. WHERE DID THAT GO TO. WHY IT COLLAPSE JUST NOW

See that’s the stds falling from the roof

you guys are behind me, my gosh. that happened like 10 seconds ago

too much sex in this ramshackle place

No one cleans that place

no one needs to. don't get paid enough for that shit

its the jizz....it gets between the cracks and degrades the foundation

between teh /cracks/

KEK

Can’t people f uck in the bed like normal humans

naw son. too vanilla, they get bored

i

omg

wow

Back in my day we used beds and called it woohoo

this is not SIMS

back in my day, we got in bed and wrestled

i'M CR YGIN

AGSHDJSJ that’s where all my sex ed comes from shdjsjd

Back in my day we fucked on the floor like REAL MEN

WHOA NOW. CALM URSELF

COVER THINE EYES, CHILDREN

Crying my lord

I'M TOO ACE FOR THIS

YOU BETTER BE PRAYIN TO UR LORD AND NOT CRYIN

back in my day, we walked 4 miles with ONE FUCKIN' SHOE

relatable

and we shared between 5 of us

Through the snow

ok but same

bc I ate the other shoe

gdi hige

hige thought it was jerky

I did

it was jerky

Must of burnt it

Anything chewy nd tough is jerky

ye bro. learn from hige

...skin?

def

ye

n o

y e

skin is the jerkiest of all

And I’m the one that needs to pray

and the people are jerky, too 'cause they're jerks sometimes

Take the pot

smoke the pot

^^^^to both

I mean-cogh

dO NOT SMOKE THE POT. JFC HIGE

taste the pot

smell the pot

be the pot

BE the pot, yep

be the pot

It’s pn legal now

why are you HERE

smoke that khajiit drug thing

why did you come back to the kink dungeon

DO IT

we're all pots now

i'm a potu'r a pot

we're all pots

or drink it, i don't remember what it is

moonshine

Does the room smell like pot?

I put a pot on me head and nw im a pot head

. . .

IT'S ALL OGRE NOW

I...

y did u make me read that with my own 2 eyes

wait wrong reference

NO

-leaves-

That’s a bad ref

i h8 isa

whe ez e s

Nasty

i'ms or ry

Talk about HEATHEN

go sit in the corner and think about what u've done

u'r no angel

they cant, the corners are mine. all of them

fuckin' share

u already knew this, liz

i did

I Still remember that video like tbwas uesterdyayb

lucifer was an angel too

Was

yesterday

T'was

luifer is still pretty hot I hear

Gdi

SHUT UP

-eye brow wiggle-

omg

hoNHON

EIFFEL TOWER

ur banned from my next stream, hige

BAGUETTE

NO TEW2 FOR YOU

EIFFEL TOWER

NO. PLS. ILL BE GOOD

BAGUETTE

The Eiffel Tower reminds me of something else but idk why

B A N N E D

ILL CALL YOU MASTER AND WEAR A SHOCK COLLAR AND EVERYTHING

goodbye hige

PLS

doug's got that eiffel tower dick. bye

-pBFT

that pill dick

Hm.

i'll see myself out

more like

Wait was there an anime with an Eiffel Tower :thinking:

there was a show with an eiffel tower. and a lady bug,and a cat, and moths

chaat noir

it was cray

Miraculous Ladybug

Nah thinking of something ten times as traumatizing

wow u guys got it

sCREAMS

y that

o 3 o

sCREAMS TOO

But it might of just been a Tower

I watch it every now and then

are u sacrificing deak to the old gods

and the new

the new season?

gotta go fast. gotta go fast

Are u making jerky

OH new gods

gOTTA GO FASTER FASTER FF -FF-F-F-F-F-FASTER

honey you've got a big storm comin'

SANIC X

I was singing that during one of my streams

u didnt stutter over the Faster part. it doesnt count

I did tho

i have to go make jerky

this music still makes me think of South Park Stick of Truth

pats gently

Sleep is for the weak

And i. Am v weak

whimps. sleep is for the dead

grnted. we are all very dead inside already so....

Guess y’all better get me a coffin then cause imma be sleep in an hour probs. Maybe two. Depends on how much my dog wants to piss me off tonight

SCREAMS THO I FINALLY GOT A FIRE STARTED AND IT CRASHED

LMAO

Rip fire

RIP KIT

no fire

It burned too bright

only suffering

tiger tiger burning bright

Face the dark and cold like a dragon

fuckin capitilism

U can do it kit. Build that fire

How do u skill up in camping ?

Desk looks short.

Deak*

no. hes desk now

he's always been desk

your kindling loks like dog turds

They do I know my dog turds

ive stepped in enough dog shit to know my turds

I’ve picked up enough dog crap to know mine

baaah

Except those look like old ones. All cold and dried out

why do u need the fire anyway

Warmth, light, happiness

DEAK WAS STRANGLING A RAT BEFORE IT CRASHED

Yuh oh

I HEARD ITS LIL ANGRY RAT SOUNDS

The rat crashed the game to live

Rat god

rat ruh raggy

Why kill a werewolf when u can date kne

This little meter shows wet and cold. Gotta keep em down.

thats bswe all know lavis always wet bc hes a horny rabbit

IAHSJSJSJS

I mean u know rabbits...

Wear a coat and u will be warm

gotta hump like theres no tomorrow

Sex keeps u warm..I think

Actually I don’t know:thinking:

id imagine to bodies that sit at 98 degrees F while doing nthing get pretty hot when pressed together and doing activities that raise your blod pressure

thats like a 400 degree sauna right there if my maths right. pretty toasty

....that makes me wanna never do anything cause Thats HOT

goodsex is bad - its how babies are made and we dont want none of that

Condoms are a thing

so are holes and accidents

Ajsjsjsj being gay means no babies

Why do u think Im here

W o w

U

bruh

They’re happy accidents

Tru, Hays where the other half of my sex ed comes in. One half is sims the other is p orn

they are good teachers. pornhub is good to us

Yeah on what not to do I found some kessed up stuff. That’s where I found that shrek video

Spongeknob squarenuts

I can honestly say I have seen worse. Anime p orn is another layer of hell

And then there were three

Wow what a cool dog

THE THREE AMIGOS. THE THREE MUSKETEERS. NOW WITH LESS BLACK SPOTS. or was that treasure island-squints-

That was treasure island

Wood looks so crunchy

I read moby dick, the three musketeers, treasure island, huckleberry fin, tom sawyer and a few others but. fuck me if I remember them in their entirety

I read that as “I read my dick” and I was very concerned

wood - the original forbidden fruit

DEAK GT TURBERCULOSIS

Is that a naked man

prbsi mean this is sex dungeon

My god. Worst kink

why two lil kids re crwling around it giving themselves aids is beyound me

This is the least sexy sex dungeon let’s be real here. No mood lighting, cold. No r and b music. Where’s the pizzazz

maybe they played music on the bones

Yeah cause that’s sexy//

it is if ur a skeleton fucker in the undertale fandom

Do NOT. I have nightmares about that fandom

I can no longer look at a naked anatomical skeleton in all casual and comfort anymore

Wow really just moved the money for that gold

Honestly seeing them with dicks that are blue and glowing is just. V bad. I have seen so many things. and every time I see an actual factual human skeleton now. its all I see

I’m glad are the men here in this dungeon are napping so well

and I am very uncomfortable with naked skeletons

Aren’t all.:.skeletons naked ?

Guess they are wearing skin...

Deaks hair is Cheeto colored which is honest such a look:tm: you rub your hand through deaks hair. your fingers come back stained with neon orange dust

Cheeto dandruff

whose playin the meat sticks again

what

i heard the meaty slaps

i still hear them

alright. go gather your quotes you quote whore

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie, Bronson, Charlie & Bea

Ronnie: I'm going on a run Ronnie: who wants? Bronson: My stash is depleted for some unknown reason 🤔 please stock me up Charlie: Ooh, new year new you babe? Charlie: couch to 5k is it aspirational af 😍 Bea: ✋ me Ronnie: fuck off i just dont need you pussies crying when you can't scav my gear Ronnie: what'll it be princess? the usual Charlie: c'mon, we've always shared everything, nothing is your own #carekidlife Bronson: Ha! That'll be why the lock on my door never sticks Bea: yep, not decided to get heavily into crack since we last spoke, just lots of amphetamines in any form you find 'em, tah, got exams coming up Ronnie: Shame Ronnie: reckon I'd like you more on the hard shit Charlie: just in case you missed the old place, man, giving you that nostalgia for when you had to padlock anything that wasn't bolted to the floor 😜 Bronson: Good times! 😀 Bea: Shame I'm not trying to be your type then, I guess Bea: soz darling, spoken for 💋 Charlie: Truly, missing that tenner a week pocket money, LUXURY! Ronnie: fucking am Ronnie: pissing jobcentre Bronson: I'll add it to your tab if you're desperate as Charlie: gotta learn to play their game, babe Charlie: not throw the board in a hissy Ronnie: 🖕 doss cunts Bea: catch me here fanning myself with sweet, sweet debt for future me to give a shit about Bronson: I'll wipe it out if you use some to keep me sweet Bea: sweet enough sugar 😘 Bea: but forreal, if you could manage that I would be your sugar mama for LIFE 🙏 Bronson: It's student loans not the feds Bronson: Easy peasy Bea: true, like all branches of the gov, pretty fucking useless Bea: but I'm an immigrant as far as they concerned so they treat me SO good 😋 Bronson: Same, but we can always stretch our hands out a little further Ronnie: To jack it and pat yourself on the back at the same time, yeah? Ronnie: calm it down Bronson: New year, new look too! Green looks ace with black 😄 Bea: Clearly do not have natural rhythm Ronnie, that's really not that difficult Bea: You're not a drummer, are you? 😕 Ronnie: get off my tits all of yous Ronnie: do you want gear or nah? Bronson: 🤐 Bea: I thought you'd already gone tbh Ronnie: not trying to score that weak gay shit Ronnie: hitting up a more reliable source like Charlie: rude, i'm RIGHT here Ronnie: are you even gay fitzy? always in my pussy lad Bronson: 😷 Bea: 🤢 Charlie: idk, ask ur man 💖 Ronnie: that'll be why me and Bron's dads did a bunk Bronson: Get yourself locked up at the same time just for the d, did you? Romantic Charlie: if the porn n the stereotypes n the rate of STIs are anything to go by...love is in the air always in cell block h Ronnie: princess'll have some handcuffs to get you on your way to that good loving Bea: 🚿🧠 anyone got any bleach? Bea: Charlie isn't worth the 💰 use cable ties, more authentic Bronson: 99 🚔 My fingers are on the button....Stop for the love of god Ronnie: Bron can help you out there Fitz Ronnie: 🤓 Bronson: Take that over a thicko label Charlie: Look, babe, know you wanna tie me down forever but do it yourself, don't involve the kid Charlie: 💍 diamond or no D, soz Ronnie: Bring a needle I'll snag a gem Bronson: Don't go there, C, I'm still riding the ear infection wave Bronson: It's been 84 years Ronnie: yeah cause you're a mong that can't turn an earring Bronson: In my defense I was a legit child Bea: nothing screams low-class like stabbing your friends for the bants Charlie: and i already scream homo loudly enough, don't need another reason to be hate crime-d, a thank you Bronson: If I didn't know you I'd guess bisexual Bronson: You can have that for free Charlie: what a smooth-talker! thanks babe 💖 Charlie: and if i didn't know you, i'd guess you were trying to see my dongle Bronson: Been there, repressed the trauma o that Ronnie: get a fucking room benders Charlie: why you being so homophobic when we all know how bad you want on princess? cliche stuck in the closet much Bea: shut up Ronnie: in your wet dreams Charles Ronnie: fuck off Charlie: oh the delicious tension Charlie: too much for either to bear Ronnie: I know where she's been Ronnie: fuck that Ronnie: like you wish you could gayboy Bronson: Wait, you fancy Fraze, Charlie? Ha Bea: Bron can you not encourage either of them Bea: thanks Bronson: Sorry my mind's just blown I thought he was out of his straight boy phase Charlie: What? Its a compliment for you, he's adorable, why else would you be with him? Ronnie: they're both annoying cunts Ronnie: match made Charlie: and never out of that phase, bro 😍 #daddyissues Bea: get his name out of your mouth bitch Ronnie: oi get your mouth off his dick Fitzgerald you heard her Ronnie: princess is raging like Ronnie: when your mans a slag and youre a prude Bea: As if Bea: Only one McKenna fucked up to go near you Bea: #singletear Charlie: Children, enough Ronnie: Bron do that final 9 she's going off 😂 Bronson: Walking away Bea: know you're hard up but as per we're all funding you getting your rocks off so run along and do it, no need to bore me trying to get your kicks Ronnie: know youre a snobby cunt but I don't work for you Bea: you don't work for anyone, not even JC gonna fund your lack of a life Ronnie: 🖕 mad cause I don't need reddies to fund myself Bea: yeah fuming Bea: if only I'd have thought of selling my body, wouldn't even NEED to be at cambs rn omg Ronnie: nailed it Bea: 😂 Bea: whodathunkit Bea: talking to the cure for cancer stuck inside a waster here Bea: and I'm the snob, okay Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: devvo like Bea: We can tell Bea: you don't need to shout about it, you've got the energy of a walking wasteland Ronnie: can't wait until you take some more speed and get more smug Bea: Right? Bea: Must sting, better only getting better Bea: why don't you get something to numb the pain- Ronnie: let you know how it feels when the lads come up Bronson: A rare compliment, you hitting it already? Ronnie: you'll have your share calm the fuck down Charlie: i don't want any, i'm busy Charlie: glad you all noted my silence, feel so listened to usually! hmpf Ronnie: so now you're a little bitch too Ronnie: fuck's sake Bronson: PARTY TIME, am I right? Really in the mood now thanks everyone Charlie: who's in who's pussy, dollface? Charlie: keep your shirt on, Bro 😂 got enough with the two angry feminists here Charlie: I've got previous plans, if you're really so hurt, you can save me some, no? Whaddya mean that'd hurt more? 😏 Bea: you're alright, I personally rather you weren't there, suits me 😘 Bronson: Shirts already off, too late 😜 Bea: Standard 👌 Charlie: you big man whore Charlie: when i'm not around to be predatory, too, tuttut Bronson: I'd wilt under your stare, you know you aren't missing out Charlie: our beautiful wallflower Charlie: I bagsy being a red rose, lil trashy but iconic Bronson: Thorn in our sides Bronson: accepted Bea: Nice one, babe Bea: i'll be an orchid, because i'm beautiful, ornamental and high-maintenance Bea: getting in there before any of you fucks can Charlie: though your silence IS noted, wonwon Charlie: don't be cross at me 😘 Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: you're not the only one who's busy Ronnie: got a dick in my mouth too like Charlie: such a skilled multitasker Charlie: teach me your ways Bronson: in private please Bronson: not a lesson I want to learn Bea: we're not living in that teen movie Ronnie: On my way Bea: ���� getting cash out, meet you there Bronson: Doors on the latch

Bea: Morning sweetness 😴 Bea: manage to recover your good vibe/night? Bronson: is it? 😪 Bronson: Until now it wasn't too bad Bronson: Do you get to say the same or is it pure suffering? Bea: Wow, when you hit bae up with that morning text and he's like day=ruined 😰 thought we was forever 😉 Bea: Decided to get off with someone around the same time I lost track of yous, so it was fucking awful, don't tell me you coulda told me that Bronson: It's only the comedown I wanna dump you're welcome to come and nap 💗 Bronson: Not to be that know it all Bea: Molly's such a cruel, cruel mistress, she wants you to miss her when she's gone 💁 Bea: Poor bubba, better than waking up next to that pushy bitch from last night though, Jesus, what was her damage? Bea: I reckon he'd actually gone out and had his drunken kebab and THEN PAID TO GET BACK IN Bea: No sir, not alright Bea: Why do I bother? Bronson: But I'm shamelessly smitten, only girl for besides present company like Bronson: Whatever it is she's not the first or last sufferer Bronson: Thanks for the bail out and sorry I wasn't there to do the same with kebab Kev Bea: N'awwh 💞 glad I hold more appeal than Tina, don't need to be going down that route Bea: It's an epidemic! Basic bitches who can't get a man willing, yeah take that out on innocent onlookers who ain't buying and talk about how your ex ain't shit for being a creepy letch Bea: We see you sweets 💅 Bea: Any time, even if you weren't there to take that donner breath bullet Bea: I'd never ask that of anyone, even Ronnie, though she'd brag about not being arsed, I'm sure 😂 Bronson: Next time I'll carry gum and throw it at whoever you deem worthy Bronson: Give me the nod Bronson: It was all over her socials like we had a good night together until I got there first Bronson: Rather take out Tina and all her mates Bea: as if you don't already Bea: if only little miss would-be-rapist knew that strong jawline was from gurning up a storm 😉 Bea: not so sexy now Bronson: there's nothing in my pockets I'm just pleased to see you Bronson: Seriously though, some of those selfies had to go for that unflattering reason alone taking into account none of her other antics Bronson: I looked a state Bea: 😂 not fallen for that one before but i'll make an exception for you boo Bea: catch me in my duvet cocoon, please don't look at me 'cos same Bea: I dread to think Bea: kept off my accounts for that reason and many more, some of us have reputations to uphold, skank Bronson: want me to check Bronson: clean up the carnage Bronson: Then brunch, your treat Bea: please Bea: roleplay my IT bitch and I'll be feeling my boss best in time for a liquid lunch Bea: will have to damage control my face first, enjoy watching me lovingly whilst I turn a -2 to an 11 Bronson: Never get bored of staring at you, you know that Bronson: Make my hair great again Bronson: Thanks Bea: when you shoulda been Trump's campaign manager 😕 Bea: sort the weave, clean up that twitter Bea: what a wonderful world it coulda been Bronson: Last night proves I can't stop him pussy grabbing Bronson: Need you for that one Bea: This pussy bites back 😼 Bea: its not your fault, girls like that, if you tell her to fuck off, and rightly so, it'd be made like YOU were being a prick to her Bea: gotta bullshit these hoes sometimes, tis the only way Bronson: Or playing hard to get...they fire that one at me loads Bronson: 😦 Bea: 🤢 gross Bea: got that one myself a fair few times, when I'm not being accused of being a prude by Ronaldo, hilariously Bea: People are the worst Bea: 'cept us Bronson: It's only because she likes you Bronson: Flattering, isn't it? Bronson: Being called broken is my fave Bronson: "Who hurt you?" You are right now, fuck off before you get a slap yourself to feel the pain of Bea: Wouldn't that just be the perfect solution in their simplistic little world? If only Bea: Save myself the feelings of disgust not brought on by kebab breath Bea: Though, if you think that that's love coming from Ron, then you do have an answer to their riddle right there, not real but the masses'll take one look at her and buy it 😜 Bronson: No arguments here Bronson: Your socials are sparkling now so that's real comfort to take Bea: 💖 yay Bea: the world never need know Bea: as long as I didn't drunk dial or text Fraze, this day is looking up, tah babes Bronson: Not to be a know it all again so quick Bronson: but I'm going to go ahead and guess the answer to that one Bea: BITCH DON'T KILL MY VIBE Bea: I'm sure I'd have angry ranting in my inbox if I had Bea: or a passive indirect on the socials, come across one perchance smartiepants? Bronson: Might've Bronson: I'll spare you Bea: Noooooooooooooooooooo Bea: Coulda had it all Bea: Really sours my Bloody Mary Bea: Fuck sake, now he's going to think I FUCKED kebab kev and enjoyed it meanwhile I sit here virginal and scrubbing my mouth out with soap Bea: How's this game fair again, please remind me Bronson: It isn't Bronson: But I can't tell you to stop playing Bronson: All yours Bea: you're meant to be a superwhizkid Bea: can't you think up a strategy so I win Bronson: Thinking cap is on Bronson: Because my hair still looks shit as much as Bea: I'll fix your barnet Bea: Between you and Charlie, honestly Bea: Never known boys like it 😂 Bea: blatant lie, have you seen how particular Fraze is but he doesn't really have much hair to be stylin' so Bronson: 👴 awkward Bea: you fool Bea: not like that 😂 Bea: though I'll keep it in my backpocket for when we inevitably row later Bea: #malepatternbaldnessBITCH Bronson: Freebie to kick your day off right again Bea: if you refuse to tell me what to do, could you use your skillz for good at least and fucking disable my phone when i'm fucked Bronson: Last time I tried you tried to fight me like Bea: Look, I didn't say it was a task for the fainthearted 😉 Bea: and yes, you would be the first to succeed too Bea: but if anyone can, its my man 😘 Bronson: Ego boost before eggs Bronson: Whoa Bronson: Today is looking up Bea: Gotta keep you sweet with all the bitching I'll no doubt do at brunch Bea: such a Carrie move, like no one cares bitch, write it in your column or books or...what did she even write? Or was she just monologuing at her computer, like all been there babe but don't act like its buying you all that designer Bronson: Her real true love was that laptop Bronson: Solved it Bea: 😲 Bea: but Mr. Big Bea: clue in the name Bronson: Could be his wallet Bronson: explain the designer gear Bea: Exactly Bea: Just my type Bronson: I'd go in for it if I can spend and send him the receipts Bea: you must be aware there are websites for that Bea: get on it boy Bronson: It all gets too sexual for my tastes Bea: set out boundaries Bea: different strokes for different folks Bea: i'm SURE there's a millionaire out there that just wants to chat Bronson: 🤔 There's enough fighting off advances in the club Bronson: Shelving that until millionaires become good people Bea: not bad people by default Bea: just a bad system they profit from more than you Bronson: Getting deep in here Bronson: Truth though Bea: real talk take #2 Bea: where do you think charlie was last night? and who or what was he doing? Bronson: Good questions that I have no answer to Bronson: If he had a job we'd all know Bea: I need to know, suspense is killing me Bea: I didn't think anything beat drugs in his book Bea: somewhat encouraging? Bronson: You could ask but I doubt you'd get far enough into the real Bronson: It is Bronson: Boy's growing up? Bea: Full of the #bants them two Bronson: Since day 1 Bronson: I'm coming to get you, Barbara Bronson: Ready yourself Bea: *falls over gravestones like a dumb bitch* Bea: i'm good to go and looking fly Bronson: I'll do the coded knock Bronson: Made up rn Bea: Helpful Bronson: That's my thing Bronson: Soon, my love, soon

[castlehead]

[BENEATH THE PLYMOUTH. chapter nine, conclusion]

I.   Can’t life end again, before the sun Goes down over the hills like a parasol? Life polluting our heads with questions That don’t know their own answers …

  Then why give it us? the private said. I mean,

Armies kill and are killed for these, and ya En’ up with what monstrous

Bleakness stripes in blood; that is your prize. With flagging limbs I speak my Rage at the enemy. My True Veteran Rage, Which is my food and drink, I cross the

Battlefield and I singlefile my bros And doesn’t this matrix of bootstring Done up on you quicker now if We get incoming fighter jets? You are Meanwhile living it up like a damn Yossarian with them foolish virgins The new recruits till I

Send again for u to drive another imbalance right Weepwoop weepwoop weepwoop

Tried and true are the men to get killed first After all, nothing like

Deaths of  honorable   men To stew up the lesser rage of cowards for to deal In lamenting them, as if it were for fun, sportiness,

Oratory, red and blue lights! crack Open a cold one with the boys! magnifico! raises

Chalice to those sent to a Rightful place in the heavens, those Weak mounds or plots now, some Severed from life by the single nip Of severe pill intake after the war

You’re too fucking good for a life of Seizures take this xanax instead.

. .  .   .    .     .      .       .        .

What am I doing I am here, I am atop a mountain, lets call it, Am breathing full for the first time, In my headspace I persist An effluvium; while a desperate gush’f a need For sanctuary tells me I am far from Ahead of turning this damfool twilight In my head away from its Croaking doubts, and guilts, Can barely.

This Twilight, What have I left to examine of you? I say Sagely to the private, do all that you did, as well Upon / A separate, spent drift, perspective, etc.,

While the wolfish / Folk don caps Of what they wrongly think they

Are. This could be a story about why I wanted to kill myself Or it could be about whatever I want to make it about, Hopefully something, something less dramatic. Well. I hope you like it. I worked very hard on it. It Makes me want to weep to think of it, and yet I must, I want to tell you all of what it means to make a difference Atop a mountain, I see you there, my love, Please, please love me, there is not much I can say Except, love me. All this daft World. All of its haunting Contradictions, nifty spools out of sense I cause

Rounding the corner, get them, chase them, Go deep into the forest, up the climate. Up, Up

Have you found, the little that speech can give you             back is width enough for a heart in grief to corrode Or two? Sleep, sleep, dear one. I have ye, ye is   much obliged to nurture me myself, but unlike I you, u dont have to me, For I nurture myself well enough already. This someone else in this                 house of mirrors you keep talking about, quaking With unfed genius, and whom is monster, monster,              knocks upon the head, to heel up This phantasm, intimidate it backwards          a little, scorn its brunt, then deftly reconnoiter With it later back at the chasm’s lost wrinkle there where not           one minute of time is spent not laughing about the situation. A light could swiftly get penetrant the brains of the                   unfed genius, the wreck, The wry one, the lost thing betokening all worlds’     wishing that human vanity hath brayed like a horse for, and Prayed, prayed for, to congeal as even the protozoa of a spark at the top of a mountain; to let hope congeal in plenty as the blizzard Of the century to garnish the summit.

You have the prototype, but it is a him, and he is to love what love         had always needed to Be! We mold and mold what we want the world to           be, mold it out of a wish                       Or three,

. .  .   .    .     .      .       .        .      

II.   Each interesting temperament says hello to me, Before fleeing from me,

They pass and pass like they meant something once but won’t tell Anymore, as I wait to be given back what has been once robbed, still

Hell. What’s the difference really? Been once asking me for the last Of its energies, itself will change, always change. So it goes with The whims of opinion, as to what sits well in one’s stomach,

Or if not that at most just rumbles hungrily there, or gets one’s noticing Depreciating, or not. Anything wld lead me to an answer I’d get besotted of,

Ornate reasons for expression are my thing. Showy excuses for my skewed bind called my life.

That rattle here and there around the point I try to make a success As the voltage is turned on I mark my last of humanity goodbye,

As I remember ur indolence / I so forget my Thoughts, feelings, guilts, shames.

And it is mostly all the same. Watch me empty buckets of sorrow! My eyes. My continual essence is such a pain in the ass. I prefer Additional things in the mix, more than mere sadness. But Our relative experience, though relative, would try to deny Us that even, wouldn’t it? That all could simplify into an urge For relief, something that goes against the little voice That says, These are more than just

Words. But I want them to mean something, really, I really do; want them to bring you places, string You along on their meanings, bobbing and chafing:

Even by faith there being a verbal string to the argument Makes an argument. Reason’s transcendent like That and can make for bitchin’ metaphysical

Recognizingz. What. Something crucial loafs In my empty canister called body. So sue me. It, that is, What I am, doesn’t do anything there but magically

Stays aloof without disappearing: this buried thing: well I Daze myself off into space and meet you there, like, In space: and anyway waiting too long would

Be a rightful hazard for my personality to squeal about In being aloof. I have no ridiculous thing to write But instead forth go into magnifying what is said

Already like a patient requiring ibuprofen by exaggerating The pain that is still pain. More fun is this, this getting Shot with a gun-syringe of aenesthetics: they

Say “Ready for time out” when they do it: You wake up later feeling licked

Like, like a trainwreck, vibrating in freezing AC cold.

Yet if the headache’s needed, then, getting It treated should squelch the purpose. Leave my maladies There, you kno, safe in the trinketbox. Leave me traumatically

Unaided. Like until I hanker badly for an answer myself That I try and remember to give after the longest Period of time possible. So if I can’t,

I want. Feel so stifled. What is important to you: Making sense but making sense new: making poetic Thinking a type of poetry in itself: it works after all:

Let’s ask that question: if I am ambient in my relative Nature, or if the vibe is something more jagged, Which is already something wavy and ambient, An eccentric trick of the mind to woozle itself Into angles of self and pithy creation would Eventually present itself; but do not do it. Yu will not remember how for the life of you. It will just be a picture you see of what you want.       Such ignorance

Fascinates one into playing, like, by their own rules, starting To play with concepts. I want to stick to one but Don’t even have one. Strange taste

In my mouth there is. So much there is of self That committing to one thing, even per page, is Backwards, bawdy, bluntly reasonable tho

Past its secure, random prints the weird entry Glamorizes, then makes a thing: I went to those to Mean something, like, went to the words, I mean:

What of it: this is going to be something I Hopefully do not regret, that my large, shiny being notices as Light through the window, getting reflected on by the closing

Door of a car: don’t doom me to just that though: I am a searcher: I’m trying really hard: doe a deer, Blabla: I have the right wrinkles for to

Explain my argument sideways: planecrash: Runtish reason, bleed me out of you into a body My own, hopefully: fuck my answers

For everything: I don’t care about the bad choices. The, that is, horrible reasoning, is not, is a Way, a new one, to work my way

Through poetic thought: my elbows hurt for example: My back does: a weird taste in my mouth: righteous Diligence, give me some rapport with

These words, craft em like gems that are squeezxed And tormented to life, force it, force it to live, I need This living thing in me to express its repressed

Stuff so long repelled: don’t do me like A normal, hoggish perspective on the matchlit Cave we squander through: through and through,

I impress upon myself impressive gonging shouts, Right?: or do I never mention the invisibleness of What I speak of, you know, outside of just then.

. .  .   .    .     .      .       .        .      

Despite my own personal dilemmas, I have An element unknown by this practice,

Settled in decisive waves of calendar And rotation, space and juxtaposing,

Retracted stuff and statements left bled till Steam lost. I have these unknowavles

Without constraint as things my diction nails To the wall of the page. But I have

Dilemmas, things I create for to Be baffled by them, scorn, growls,

Soggy mittens in wintertime. Nothing Counterintuitive, I always say, gets past me.

I allow those confusions room in my material Cell, breathe out flowering my spent

Petals to a floor of verbiage. OK. What can I say ?? Though ?? Really,

That the cricketsong is unbelievable, The night drinks up that thick

Music; that everything now is considerable, And I decently understand; and that

Everything, even what I do not know, Is important. So as to this,

III.   Constantly, barely on a cuticle Would reality seem to stand for us;

You are not so fine, so tenuous as your situation, which is reality, And which offers up zero places for you to trip and fall into the sky.

Regretfully at that would the whole of reality disappear, as Soon as there were not these gravitational beings humans are, To classify and disseminate reality, which is in other words not What you think it is but what you will never see it as and more,

More than just a pretty thang, due to a sounding sunlight, due to, To say, an obstreperous daygloss over the city; but is in the worlds Behind admitting a lack of a name for this non-language, which Although remarkably loud on the still, static eaves, seems [yes] To have come overnight with the junipers. But the sense of sight,

The sense of sight simply was not auditory. And other things, Were fine, were fine as cuticle. Now, as for the problem of sight,– It was already a completely different sensory-experience, one I watched at once go wither off many roofs like flakes, go silent By the weeping mud round their walls overtook by river, but This not immediately. A sourceless jangling like of jewelry first:

Shattering out-seeming a white sun: a wake of these fragile things. Like paint-chips. Saw something, somehow ornamenting rays,– Wither from my grasping. For back then I’d left the peanut Gallery as per usual, my focus on imagination’s latest fare,

As I walked away from my cute little fucking friends or whoever. They went off none wiser, lolling their tongues At stonyfaced adults, so

I chose pursuing possible phenomena: I sense-guessed some Strange thing off there to my side, and in my sight alone:

It was as light, yet if light had A sound, a fastidious muttering to,

To complement its urging bright, and Brilliantine crisp form, giving

Marker in particular, as I noticed more, those looser, tattered Parts of sun and chidden dun. So as, in physicality or Whatever manifesting this gets called, to make

It sound its shifting throughout all degrees, cajoling and Maneuvering almost as if it had feet tapping steps to take.

I was 10, and though I kept awhile that booming stepping light In thickspun places for my mind to go and mend an ear for, And. Back me to that spot, so that itself the unilateral instant

Of perception would not dim, well so it dimmed, And I forgot the noise;

Cotton fills between my ears at the thought, to the point I you know like wouldn’t barely hear a foghorn; then Aggravation past recalling. I can’t now even know if

Anything is absent. That’s how bad it is. Events, E’en if they’d been in paint, certain ones’re more Past recalling than the bluntest detail

Of whatever I’d kept warm enough of it all, by The fire of possible to picture, there, you Know: in the mind’s eye. More important to Remember the erasure electrodes could feed Than the one they could stifle with a ball-gag.

That raged-out delight in your eye could Seed in you and with enough

Of this obscure hallucinogen consumed, zoom the pneumatic Parturitions what had been waiting to canter out out in hot Speech straight from braincavity, for

The benefit of your local Shaman: Into the brushy groins thus go

The Cocky British Adventurers, searching for the fountain Of youth, or at least some village where they can get high. The voodoo dey is pay to see, like, to cure incontinence;

Don’t tell! By the barrel in transport go things to forgetting; A given day, from spore to spore remits; direction is avoided Like a bad thing so we all go back to where it growed from

In the states. More than inner leagues of a breastbone, This is a serious matter. Or rooms we might Could spend all day a-lounge

Upon our rucksacks waiting for inherited luck To be what haunts us, that to crumble, buckle, Quick to breathe, then nothing,–would not so Succeed: spirit pulls us from the fingers of spirit With grand tweezerpairs,

But: what of the dangerous chemical overlapping, could that not Melt any elated feeling straight between its own two hands Lifting it, fruiting out the cracks, from that elation, once again, Which: are nay pieces of the will to dry up the anima/animus For good: like British testicles in the Rainforest its, your Very hands do not, refuse to

Let you handle, now, because, you Know, it will burn for awhile if even it, whatever is Controlling the nefarious block between

Whatever happiness of a sort and their significant Person: birthed into that happy flesh, that skin, That thing that will remind one, you, of the fabulous,

Unshed lair at the foot of the mean, corrosive stairs, Pregnant with mercy for the steps of light on it only.

Listen: go by that so as to seize new life: if wholly for more Artful-slung ascents, wax the temples of yr head And go under, and send accents of voltage, Pole to pole to pole.

WE ALL OF US are of what WE were,

Which cannot gather ‘mustard’ nor In mustering it up should you go without A sort of wheeling will: well: no soul should be Without a healing will: it which fights between Your lungs and what your heart insists

Was, has been there before: they, uh Will know they are observed And know not to do so There now; this too

Comes as natural As all these, as ventricle. There’s An aqueduct to tamper with.

Mine and mine through it–all the overwhelming shit of it all, For stuff yours. Just, don’t

Besiege, sweat and Sweat to illness; or make it yours; or do you and I,

Walking down the dirt road with our selves styled right in front Of us at the edge of madness–meanwhile, the road is at the edge Of the psychiatric hospital–pursue towards our to us so-so Talismans, like the reveille to break ‘us all’ into morning,

With an empiric dournesss and a poetic somberness like dirty rocks? Nay hope to find for this or that eclogue, a meaning punctual, as

We clean them like pissed Jockys, Answering only for the gold but in a

Locked eye–or interminable, breathless moment. These could Be spied by some among

Us less romantic as the crummy afterburners Of a godhead: but to us and others like ourselves not morsel at all, But at the very head

Of the war, and us the blood-mud of a battered theatre, rocketing For battlefield-next; to capture a frantic vibe or two

As might well make us frantic? To display The snack and succor of our wellbeing again, that is; Perhaps in a happiness the other there, at least

–Amongst these mossy graves: where yours, my, and Our ideologies get bestowed on, stoic although out of order, us, Again. Like some gift cherishing its other one,

We blind to our own cherishing. We tempted to hunker into place

On the flat of a large rock: and still we worry of A frightening mishearing of the argot from the first

To spell you out as tending to follow your arbitrary wisps again, Dodging the spitting of these asps forlorn by the same proxy Sense walks out to let fill for it too, whom try and try in fidgets To tell you realistically: you is, uh

Mercurial to sell your snappy deathtraps To the others sitting hunching In the back of the light, awaiting the unveiling Of The Random Vision: it all, and it will, flies back at you, The one elated: from their dark shelters it comes To make that noise you knew only light to. Then, as the speech

Of one given so much to dreams that it were a Sickness the mind ingratiated unto the Rest gives up the ghost and calls itself the same thing

Given to these corruptible seconds you’d happened to get The high beams on at the correct angle of phrasing-light, and Especially since it was not found, and by it I mean, this

Especial species, while scoping out out of greed for an exotic Metaphysical animal rustling softly somewhere dangerous along The curtain, made entirely of infinities: you

Waited for to steal the show, but, then, kabamm, And we lose it: our salutary mistresses

Delayed the minstrelsy, time melted, weak shooting At a fenced-in target: as we themselves blast

All motors, play chicken with feelings fine as cuticle: the Cheering to get mutuality in a busted zipper halfway Down the coat: I sleep in a cot: don’t feel sorry: for you:

Our someplace mistakes beautifully without any Communication’s dotage, without interest, In it for the art: usher us along this rock a bit, And all to stomp down the feeling.

The freckled derelict impetuous parts Our molded forming spits panoply to graciously, as Our freeze of eye at each other, and with that a dolor of collar And crimp at the shoulder, and hands to arms clasping Tenderness to the hilarious sound of trombones:

To filtered, moribund animosity all is as spiritual adiposity, and to The spine’s own place in hurting is there a weakest when true

Hue. Trickling Minuses down each disc, doth it, doth it doth it, and Bring you to the tomb the tomb, tomb, tomb.

Happiness focused atom-wise to blathering lambs’ limbs’ Context pillowy gets us confuséd fledged from right to left

And then to do, uh, do so is Yet the where where is someplace stronger, smaller. Right eh ?? The speech, argot, recommends its woes Like fashionable trinkets at a gas station. And decides

Us to go down the drain like toiletflush these untimely Dissimilars, once posh, now as but the gourmand’s Misery. Before the game, he ate a bunch of hotdogs,

Came to the eating contest for a snack. Yet which is of tidings Is that being flatlined on nonbeing like a medley of thrown

Sounds through to the end of the roll of the last toilet -paper in the WholeWORLDEver. Crates us as off

We go like in a box to nice otherness, while Seconds remind us of the ghost

In the moon we forgot to call mightily and we are Now stuck in this bricklump desuetude.

In the very moon our trembling lips lie about knowing it Afar, and I care not how long the line spits landscape; Don’t; or does perhaps. I want to speak visions Of colors. And now for another

Thing: this is different because it leaves up to discussion The rather ornamental debacle. Dry squalor.

Heated up desertions of eye. Fickle hold, o hold. Broken record you is. Well: my army had Nothing with it come to much

But a father what that grabbed the attitude off The collar of the young punk with spots on’is faythe. Like golly.

Repetition you let us pay for your drinks And get stabbed like Marlowe in the eye. Shiver, Species. For it is what we tell you do.

Collective unconscious needs dramamine stash, before All civilization hurls into the closest bucket and- -Frightens the children. Pellucid is the sky’s heart. He’ll know what to do and, uh, what forgive.

Something cold in this heart. Heal me, heart. Respond A bit too soon to the call. Discuss politics. Fuck you. And be Young Joyce uncomprehending at the

Christmas table with Old Dante Muckering up the gaffe of talking blunt about

The PRIME MINISTER Bad gaffe made the more.–

I took a thousand stout men and made them soldiers. Still the question was not solved: do we or do we not Exist: I founded lackeys like the Prime Mover I is. I am, Tell me, young lamb, [eyecontact] I am like

Roses sweet-smelling yes. I have an ankle that is a chip off

The shoulder and there is so much you’d never suspect through The blinds: you are blind to much: anything but old rinds I give

You to see. Of cataclysmic woe, Is uncouth to say it comes, betimes Betimes.

I natty up the RansomStash of money, think I hurl in some other dimensionanony

Rubbled out of zeitgeist. Like what’s left of what Was once important. MAKE EVERYTHING EXPLODE Says the mind, to the maker, and dirigible the static Plane being’s on or is not on. I have a backache. A good part of the poem is that you do not

Know who the referent ‘I’ is. Wonder retracting statements From itself is and remains the wonder of those statements It did not pursue, nor highlight.

That’s what I tell yeh. My GOD who how he did it ?? Till next horn’s blowing.

The new fodder’s here.

I look at my watch all pithy. I want to talk about something

Different, Now:

IV.   These moving things, in

Front of my memory are in front there, as if they could be In front: preparing to be remembered. As like water floating On air, an air once obvious lightness, now heavy but only as Waged by its distinction plashing down weightless;

A rose fighting God for a crumb. What I thought mine,

The diviningrod for the gold that is as it is, while The dappled glinting hurlings-out of sun its Buried symbolism: the rod was looking Surly and sad at me

With its inanimate, punk-poker countenance, asking an Arresting conference between myself and all What is in the coming-trough of that

Empty ray my sun begins behind, waiting For the lordly entropy unkind bids for power Wreak of all over the mystified Others’ whispered Commissions to blesséd rekindlings of an ease For suns as mine, and for them

Eagerer plumbs the problem into the general, poetic Selfhood you and I equate to the choral bastion For all the body politic to get unto itself

A final haunt for meetings with those in the field; First, get me to the shallow symbol quicker, for The more is, within, that is

Our fighting, unfound parts, found Out to their believing-to-be-seen, awkward, Aggrandizing root, the more is seen Human all our trickling signs;

As, for example, the professor nodding Dipping glasses from eyes might say

Profoundly, You have me breach into your sociopathy: Behind these displayed tears eyes mutely Carry over bucket by bucket

Past the lids, then Closed goes your roving imagination To the many grunted teachings, wanders to

The place affect and displeasure dwell In commune much as the sun and moon Are. You contrive and contrive Despite a lack of closure. Evil

Grunts; then, the old magician steps upon his Own tricky sidewalk, back broken, spine Flailing out of the flesh like

Sides of things intentionally prized, for Being many-sided, being peripheral, being thus The clamp-down on upon the rift between a Self and self, the murderous wage, a drifting Buoyed survival technique, culminating In the petty boutique where make fancy our

Designer desires. Manically let you grin, let you-

-And find me there and bitterly beneath your skin, Interred, an errant bug clutched by the teeth Of cells, entirely made of mature dismay

At this rattling feature or that, a singing twitch Ersatz dissolves in simply prudery, although the Match is boundless once uncovered to its Eloquent extremes, its funny bets

Atop a covered wagon on the turnpike to Work, ensuing gases here and there, plucking Marred hairs and ingrown nails from the More similar decripitudes of life, yet leaving still

The undone pyre of waxing-worship to Intend itself beyond, beyond a folly, and beyond An enigmatic coach a breed of stag gallops With, like a friend, a friend or fiend,

A whipping to the nakedness our traveling, A scorching of impassioned earthen to What’s the sillier darkness of conceit, deceit, Received by amplifying weeping, or By entrancing the metaphoric tides an Element-electric wouldn’t send

To the chop-house. Let whom lay beneath The tarpaulin conceive this second poem with Next day’s wrathful heat to incubate

Idea, idea of shrouded modern people Messing with themselves with chemical And flirty doctrines flirting on the bilious; We are about what sadly is not serious.

And you, cheap gourmand, upon his food And slaughtering by the minute every truth His 'times’ replayed like plays in college football

Or, which multiplied disheartening with Kids; which antiquated meme and vine impelled To the furnace, and were meant to be an irony Without a foreground, or just merely funny Will, in time, call all of itself lamed

By richer generations whom do not tie severely The knot so early, nor that one of frame-of-mind,

Nor vicious as the adding of more poem to This poem, this tape, this wrong, this blare,

This carousel, could our analyses of flickering face Be less human than the rest. Dispassionate tools.

.   .   .     .     .

To jealous the color of every real ordinary. Mass composites are what the want want To be: load up my carriage, run faces by me For the right one to win

Me over, roam grim sealingwax doubles Like they were the robotic asswipe Your linear ability commands to howitzer The shit out of. I want

To destroy all the air. Then of course, would fain destroy This feigned couscous, by words Jellied in the fridge next to the words, and which gets Warmed up, connotes feelings words alive Trumpet menagerie by menagerie. Flown out of itself

The memory wants back to mentioning, Dries off on the water: the weight of all of this Wants to invite God and the rose To brunch, you know, just to talk

About maybe focusing instead on the sad Memory, unsaid. Split like atom

The discontented flash of thundering. The only thing deeper is unwanted

By you, though you think you do, but no, you Do not, do not know what you

Want from these tears the Result of a brief squabble that should Have been rightly emptied into

The Well Of Lidded Impactfulnation, I mean, man, imaginpainshun. The sidewalk entered a flaccidity unbefore Seen, saturated by these decked freckles of Unbelievable, haunting rain as

The city burned just to get some light On this one page in shadow or Night merely spilled,

Rotting, all over this oops And contracted by the mean tacklers Of bulls. Then revert to those gutted, realize

The pen is dusty and empty, the tears A stupid fragility that makes broke the back Of a mountain not included in

The latest Jake Gyllenhaal deluxe set Of withered, weathered - - sexual frustration In the form of abstract painting full of themselves That is, mainly stuffed with their own selves, Which, pretty much, is everybody you Just had fight with, like, what

They are like, since we’re filled with Ourselves or at worst another fills or is filled By us, which is dangerous especially For emotional bohemians on the klutzy radar Muttering germs of new shit In the corner, like, the

Corner of the crooning voice you can’t place, Can’t raise, faze, amaze, or daze; What ridiculous fun it is to chop the world in half, Leaving only robotic faces tunefully chosen In essence. Maybe you lose the song But it comes back early once That nifty ‘copsiren simulator’ busts Everyone fleeing from the party, and an Avalanche of high folk pour out

Like tears of once what was, unto lids, The resultant dripping, squeezed into their lighted Aspect, performing light again

On the random Chair of Life where drunk poet sit, Whispering saturated sidewalks, eating couscous

By themself, since everyone of us has turned Into a wax rendition of the invisible, and by this Needle of a difference doth split the chained

Opines of unhealable hunger’s dust Where the bulls we fear once were, are not At present.

Dance, dance, ludicrous, failing mind, for nigh you won’t again So mourn, you, rebel from the rest of yourself and die,

Remove in revving happiness up what hath Embraced you, baffled, from two steps away.

It is the corner’s voice. It is the coroner’s voice, bespeaking Valuable Soul, but sans shirt, shoe

. .  .   .    .     .      .

truly keep me in your bad massacred heart that lunges against your ribcage like it’s selling something it’s like an animal against you you know

find out what lingers between you and beats and stales there and planetary in the dust without a friend but the one you pay for

without an anchor you live your life to listen for some kinetic power somewhere there

unduly and lacking but what you have pawed at for so long now you have

it so live to stir people do such well this man is a tired broken thing wearing an old tattered coat he is grimacing against the bitter cold and

of his way of writing he is sure that he is without an echo back to himself peacefully he lights a fire beneath his fragrant ass he is of the metronome of fart and feeling in feeling

it is in the basics you reach for the flower in my lungs through my throat you have an ascertaining of body in your body

you wild as fire wrinkle orange and yellow separately of it you are the fire of beauty of both

you stick to listening to what’s between the chambers of desire your mind goes crazy and gets stuck in yet

without feelings without the hope of feelings you still feel you are the argot of feelings you want to waste your life trying to fix me I want to taste my life in your ice cream’d hands I want to desire the reality behind things a bit

I want to hire another human to attend to my morals and come upon a spree of finite conclusions for me

our register of voice makes enough of that for the two of us to hear it however low

to wander throughout and divide the equation we would have solved using another’s breathy brain

tell me I am true for what I think of that is that I am untrue tell me my own wrinkles of fire again despoil meaning from the craning of my neck to look upwards at a sky filled with myself filled with the clouds of myself and it makes

me go away into the feelings try me with those feelings and keep my hunch cracked like the tar across the road reality follows

driven by those high and fruitful voices…

[1shimaru]

tagged by @mewniiz​

name: isabel or aaron tbh

nickname: isa / bel / is. i don’t rlly like the nickname izzy, it’s awkward. u can call me by my url 1shi tho!!

birthday: jan 9

gender: HHHHH demi..??

sexuality: i’m ace!!

height: a BIT taller than 5′3″

time zone: pacific?? i’m on the left, i think that’s pacific

average hours of sleep: 6-8, the bare minimum u kno? ALTHO SOMETIMES...i sleep way too early and i end up with like 12 hours or something, and when i wake up i feel gross

otps: man i love seeing chishimondo/ishimondo (dr), bakugo/kirishima or any class ships rlly (bnha), shinkai/yasumoto (yowapeda), uhh idk any else off the top of my head///

the last thing i googled: "no fun allowed”

first word that comes to my mind: IT’S BLANK MY MIND FROZE IDK///

what i said last to a family member: hey. no wait i want sooomme!!! mmaybethesearewhitecheddarwhatthefuck (my bro was gonna put away some cheetos but they’re white cheddar??)

one place that makes you happy and why: my bed, esp when it’s got this nice warm evening look to it and it’s a little breezy, aaa what a mood

how many blankets i sleep under: 3!! but it’s getting hot so maybe 2. tbh i think i’ll just stick out half of my body from under the covers and fall asleep like that

last movie i watched at the cinema: i can’t .. remember..

three things i can’t live without: right now i’m rlly dependent on the hair dryer, my hairties, and my phone

something i plan on learning: THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I WANNA LEARN!!!! so little time... so little resources... tagalog and more guitar and how to knit???? how to make my own cosplay i wanna do so many things please give me the resources i need

piece of advice for your followers: telling yourself “i love myself, i’m great!!“ EVEN IF IT’S A TOTAL LIE ATM and only gets ur happiness up by like .05% is a good thing to practice. like, you don’t have to do it everyday or anything but if it def ends up being easier to do after a while. and ALSO your "kind of casual but still pretty fancy so i’ll only wear it for family occasions or something” shirt is now a casual shirt. ur sense of style has now increased by like 10%. you have to listen to this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hf7N1iYWIKs 

my other blogs: HHH they all kinda suck tbh bc my main is this one and i do like everything here

@1shiart​: my art blog. i mainly rb stuff that’s on here, but OCCASSIONALLY.... i’ll have smth original like a quickdraw video..///

@takatalks my ishimaru ask blog which is kinda on hiatus bc i got school and like no motivation atm

@loafustore I’M SELLING BUTTONS!! w my sister so if u ever wanna see what we’ve made so far, i got u!! it’s mainly there bc ppl irl ask for some kinda catalog and we direct em there

(also my IG is @ 1shimaru ;) self promo)

i tag: whoever wants to!! ;w;

[49scribes-a]

{--More game stream commentary cuz that’s always fun~--}

ZOMBIES. LEAVE ME ALONE. I mean, yay for experience but leave me alone.

FAKE. YOU'RE A FAKE. YOU'RE A FAKE TREASURE FAKE AS FUCKING SHIT.

oH I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING TO ME WHEN U SAID FAKE. AND I WAS LIKE "SOMEONE NOTICED".

What did you think I was singing?

"DON'T STOP ME NOOOOW. CUZ I'M HAVING A GOOD TIME. HAVING A GOOD TIME."

There u go; kit knows the lyrics. Isa knows nothing.

Iron scraps. So beautiful.

I'm a grinding hoe. I want those license points.

Ooooh man that was a scare that I did not like.

Mimic Queeeeeen.

oh. RUN AWAY. RETREAT. HELL NO.

as I was saying: FUCKING STAIN GLASS B I T C H.

Damn. He stronk.

DAMN IT, KIT, I'M ASKING FOR YOUR OPINION.

There's the Mimic Queen. Look at those wings, and those pretty colors. Too bad she dead.

To Rabanastre we go.

TALLYHOE.

Ew I forgot this thing has ugly emotes.

I mean, hi, leggy up, same diff. Greeting u with my leggy.

omg ye don't wreck your compooper.

French? Ew, no, get that shit out of here.

Poor france.

Why did I think it was a good idea to buy this game. Why. I'm gonna be asking myself that all throughout playing this.

Oh Heeeeell no I am not playing Nightmare mode.

You know minus the fire, this is a very nice house.

Idk about you but the fire is aesthetic. I think its an improvement.

Of course you think this is aesthetic, Kit. You have a pyro for a muse.

Don't call me out like this.

Uh holy shit violent.

Well that escalated.

Men in black wannabes need to get the fuck out.

RUDE AS HELL.

Sebastian is me. "We're awake? Greeeaaat."

See by this point I would'a been like "fuck that I ain't gettin' in that bathtub again."

No thanks. My mind is enough. I've got enough going on in there.

I've got too much going on in there don't give me other people's shit too.

I hope I can kill you. You already look like someone I wanna kill.

This is gonna be a trip.

It looks like a trip.

This is where shit goes to shit.

Who doesn't want to go on a trip?

You would know about hangovers, wouldn't you sebastian?

This is gonna be fun.

Sooooo much fun.

I'ma name you Joseph.

Except this is so much more fucked up than Alice in Wonderland.

Shut up Kit you know its true.

Well you didn't deny it cuz it is more fucked up.

Wow already this looks like shit. I don't want to. Is it too late for me to back out of this guys?

Yes.

God damn it.

Totally not creepy at all.

A door-- Oh its the painting of a door.

Oh that's not promising. THat's not creepy.

Ah. No, no, no, no, I don't wanna go down this hallway.

Just breathe Bianca. Its gonna be okay. Maybe. Probably not.

WOw kit. Such faith. I don't like this. I don't have a gun...

He's stripping baallllzzz.

Eww that is disgusting, the brain matter.

He's stripping balls, really? Not tripping balls?

Its stripping balls now, I don't make the rules.

Arm. Without the rest.

I hate this. I hate this so much. This was a mistake I shouldn't have bought this game I shouldn't have bought this game.

So that's a sound.

I don't like this place already. *Whispers* Oh my god.

Just breathe. While you can. Kek.

Uuuuuum.... hello?

"Who was that?" Not important, you know. Let's. Let's leave. Let's not be here.

Y'know I should stop looking around cuz its gonna be really poor for my health, like "Oh let me go check out over here", Dead.

Cultists. Of course.

OH GOD--

RIP her.

Yeah shes dead let's move away from the door byyyeee.

*sighs* God damn why. Why why why why why WHY.

It was nothing. You didn't fucking-- hear shit. You didn't see shit. I'm not over here.

I dunno but they need to not-- they need to stay about 50 miles away from me.

What the fuck is this? Blood? Nope, mmm, uh uh, I'm going away.

Mmmm I'm not going that way bye. BYE.

I'm not-- GOING THAT WAY EITHER.

It just wants a hug.

Kit. It did not want a fucking hug.

Maybe it did. U don't know. Go up to it and find out : >

sO THAT'S A SOUND.

I swear to sHIT nothing better fucking attack me.

This is locked right? And this too? Okay good you're all locked.

Locked until the game script says otherwise kek.

Okay yep we're done here bye.

I don't want anything of the fuck you're selling in there.

Oh thank god I can't go that way. Excellent, bye.

So the eyeball did not want a fucking hug. Suck it kit.

It got lonely and went away.

Lovely decoration you guys got here, really--

I think my slutbun just ran for cover.

I am-- I am definitely forgetting stuff-- WHAT IS THAT MONSTROSITY, WHAT.

Uuuuuuuhhh.

Lookit that butt.

Yeah, of course, you want me to get into the elevator. Hhhhhh.

I'm gonna die of stress already. I'm like, /stressing out/.

UUUUUH NO I KNOW WHAT PART IS COMING UP NEXT TOO.

UUH HUH HUH HUH NOOOO. I HATE LIFE.

It was nice knowing u. I'll start writing your eulogy.

Yeah Kit, write my eulogy. You better make it fan-fucking-tastic.

Those legs moved. Doing the Can Can while hanging out.

Okay noooow its time. Now its time for stress.

WELP.

OOOOOOH JESUS.

BYEBITCH NOPE.

NOYOU'RENOT NOYOU'RENOT NOYOU'RENOT.

CLIMB FASTER.

SCURRY, BITCH, SCURRY LIKE THE-- Oh look a rat.

RIP TO THAT RAT.

Bye Rat.

You just had to say something sebastian.

RUNRUNRUN RUN RUN RUN RUUUN. FUCKING SPRINT.

You know it is really unfair you are able to appear and throw that that well and hit me because the universe fucking hates me OH GOD.

FUCK OFF. I DON'T WANT WHAT YOU'RE SELLING.

A Trip To Horror Land Featuring Silent Hill.

Nasty bathtub. Nasty nasty.

Joy, its raining. Of course its raining. They gonna let me be dry?

I feel like "I don't want what you're selling" is your catchphrase.

Give me my gun. I want my gun.

"Where were you when I needed you?". RIGHT?

That's probably gonna be my catchphrase through this entire game. “I don't want it”.

So much for quaint little town.

NOOO. WE DON'T /HAVE/ TO CHECK IT OUT.

*huge sigh* This was a mistake. Sebastian, why do you do this to me? We didn't have to go check it out.

Uuuh lady I think you killed your kid.

ShIT. Why would you drop your gun?!

Can I leeeaaave yet.

She's not dead-- that is.... gross.

Alright, sooo.... I figured out how to shoot. So that's good.

This is nasty, can that stop doing that?

You're dead, right? I don't like. Need to shoot you? Yep. You're dead. Cuz that throat looks... disgustingly overstuffed.

DAAAAAMN. That is NASTY. Okay I'm gonna. Not look at that anymore.

Dang. Those crawlies set in quick.

WHAT. PHONE? WHAT. Oh. Facebook leave me alone.

What, no bullets lying around? I am disapointed. No bullets lying around.

Oh gunpowder. Nice.

Okay bye. Wait-- nope, bye. I don't wanna be here anymore.

You know, outside of the creepy house it actually looks nice. Very green. Aesthetic.

Rename him Kibbles n Bits.

Yep. That would've been 100% me. Just. Push it-- Nope, just shove it over.

Shut up O'Niel. Why do you have to always be so fucking negative?

Don't be a whiny bitch O'Neal

Where's the option for the non-coffee people. I call BS.

[Kit voice] WHere tf the Cola.

“Where's the cola”. RIGHT?? Except for me it'd be where's the mountain dew.

Mountain dew is good toooo.

Do the Dew.

Hell yeeaaah. Bullets. Bu llets. Bulleeeeets.

Calm yo bullet boner.

I don't have a bullet boner, kit. Wow. So undignified.

Do too.

No I don't, kit. Stop that.

I'd just be a little bit concerned about the needles sticking into my arms.

Let me just say, I.... appreciate... Tatiana's very... neutral, voice. Very deadpan? Monotone? Doesn't show inflections? Is that the word I'm looking for?

Okay but imagine. Kit: imagine. Instead of Sebastian, its Junior, and he's in there looking for Deak, and instead of the nurse, the nurse is Lavi.

I'M HONESTLY WHEEZING AND NOT FOR THE REASONS I SHOULD BE.

Kit why are you wheezing.

LAVI IS THE N U R S E.

Yep but he wouldn't be wearing a nurse outfit.

Nope sorry I'll always see Lavi in a nurse outfit now.

Wow I've only been playing an hour? Feels longer.

Terror will do that kek.

Do u really hope its Lily. Do u really.

There goes the neighborhood. Now it really is Silent Hill.

Things are really falling apart around here.

How the fuck.

Some big assss raaats.

U know u play way too much AC when ur like "I wanna scale that building".

Is that guy carrying a... molotov? I don't wanna know.

DOn't turn around don't turn around you piece of shit-- I hate all of you.

/I want one./

*singing* When you hate liiife...a lot.

Oh shit you got too close for comfort.

Too close.

Stranger danger, stranger danger.

*sighs* God damn it. Gonna stick to my gun.

Stick to ur guuuns.

*singing* LOOK AT THAT. GONNA DIE. I'M GONNA DIE. GONNA DIIIIIEEE. Yep I'm gonna die.

I'm not used to having the camera that close to my ass.

Should've aimed for the dick.

Its pustulating.

AHAHAHAHAA. MOLOTOV'D ITSELF.

Just got fucking scalped.

Yeah that's violent over that way.

*my ac loving ass* “TAKE THE ROOFTOPS.”

Well someone just ran by and I don't like it so let's go in here.

Oh my god, my-- my chest hurt there for a moment.

I DON'T LIKE THIS ROOM, WHY AM I IN HERE.

Because its The Fun Room.

U know. This is a lot less screaming than I anticipated. Still good tho. Still satisfying.

I'm actually grateful that I'm not screaming but if I was playing Dead Space, which I will never, EVER, E-VER-- play. I would be screaming.

*whispering* swear to god, /swear to god/.

Having a good old time playing in those squishy guts.

This is probably why you guys died.

Get 'em. K i l l e m. Kill em d e ad.

Here comes bunny bro in a nurse outfit lm ao.

Lavi plz. U and ur perfect manicure.