#AM I CRAZY WTF
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this panel is insane like stsg look fucking huge and I was under the assumption that theyâre 16-17 here
#AM I CRAZY WTF#sumâz ramblez â・đŚšÂ°â§#side note satoruâs little đ face is very cute :3
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skybound megatron when i catch you.... when i FUCKING catch you...............
#ILL KILL HIM WITH MY OWN HANDS IDGAF IF HES A GIANT ROBOT ALIEN THAT LEADS THE DECEPTICONS#âyou know the limits of my powerâ YOU HAVE A CANON ON YOUR ARM WTF DO YOU MEANNN đđđđđ#sighhhh i was laughing at star's interactions with the humans like 1 page earlier and then bam they hit me with this...........#âwhat you desire matters not you are mine nowâ this killed me#user ironladders found dead in a ditch cause of death transformers comics 100% true not clickbait#god i have soo many thoughts abt this issue#sorry to the ppl who follow my spam twt bc i am going crazy over it rn#transformers#starscream#megatron#skybound spoilers
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everyone moved on but i'm still here (i only drew my interests)
#the amazing digital circus#tadc pomni#pomni tadc#dan and phil#daniel howell#phil lester#evbo#parkour civilization#inanimate insanity#ii mephone4#mephone4 ii#mephone4#tommyinnit#hatsune miku#relpyart#artist on tumblr#fandom#dnp jumpscare in 2024 when i havent drawn them since 2019 is crazy#i havent drawn tommy since 2021 too wtf where am i#i havent drawn miku since 2015 but yall werent there for that#only ogs remember my youtuber era#seeing all my interests together is so funny who invited the Phone here
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all the colors of the sun
ao3: all the colors of the sun pairing: karasu tabito x f! reader genre: romance wc: 17.5k status: one shot
You don't need to wish for love or for someone to love you. Because⌠sometimes, you just never realize that you've had them all along.
And if he were to put it into words, he'd tell her: âAnd ya donât need to wish for him to love youâŚâ
Because he already does.
âNo way in hell did Karasu get a girlfriend before me!â Otoya protests, voice laced with all the stinging sensations of envy as he, Isagi, and Yukimiya huddled together like the Avengers if the superhero group was the type to peek at people from around a corner.
The object of their interest? None other than the assassin, Karasu Tabitoâtalking animatedly to a girl all the while looking like he just won the World Cup, saved the universe, and had gotten married all in the same day. His smile was very annoyingly wide, and his laughter sounded so happy that it scratched the ears of his very envious teammates.
"Maybe heâs just being nice to a fan," Yukimiya offered, though the model himself couldnât stop the bitterness from tagging along with his words. He swears he could almost taste it.
âKarasu?â Otoya questions incredulously.
âNice?â Isagi follows.
âHa! The only way Karasu and nice belong in the same sentence is if the word isnât is in between,â Chigiri remarks, arms crossed as he leaned against the opposite wall, silently judging his teammatesâwho were very keenly drawing nearer and nearer to the borders of looking like electric posts if they could pull the We Bare bears poseâfrom their spot in the corner.
âWhyâre you guys talking about him anyway?â Chigiri asks, sipping casually on his energy drink.
âLook at him, Chigirin!â Bachiraâs head popped up from behind the trio like a Whac-A-Mole, pointing dramatically at the crow in the crowd. âKarasuâs talking to a girl!â
Chigiri chokes mid-sip, spilling his drink all over his hands and on the floor from absolute mortification. âHeâs what?!â
"Whatcha guys yellin' for? Yer gonna get us in trouble if ya don't keep it downâ"
âHiori! Look at your childhood friend!â Isagi whispers in alarm, as if the scene heâs been watching unfold before his eyes for the last five minutes is nothing but fever-induced hallucinations.
"He ain't my childhood friend,â Hiori mutters, rubbing the back of his neck in annoyance that he had to clear this up, again. âIf anythinâ heâsââ
Tired of Hioriâs stalling, Isagi shoved the Ice Manâs face in the direction of their crime-committing teammate.
â[Name]-san?â Hiori mumbles in surprise, blinking repeatedly as if the scene before him was something out of this world. Well, he shouldâve expected this considering⌠well, considering them.
âYou know her, Hiorin?â Bachira pokes his head from Yukimiya's side, curiosity all over his honey-colored eyes.
âYeah,â he breathes, still struggling to process the image, âSheâsâŚâ his words faded to a dull echo. Itâs only been a few months since he last saw them together. There wasnât anything unusual, same old Karasu, same old [Name], still laughing and talking like they were the only two people in the world. Theyâve always looked like that. Always looked at each other like that. So how come seeing them now⌠how did they look so different? Almost as if they wereâŚ
âIn love.â He whispers.
âWhat?!â The peepersâminus Yukimiyaâscreamed in unison, garnering a few odd stares from the people walking by.
âWhat I meant,â Hiori clears his throat, âis that sheâs Karasu-kunâs childhood friend.â Hiori smiles, âSheâs also ridiculously strong.â
âCanât be stronger than Karasu, right?â Otoya asks, his eyes giving way to the bubbles of whatever evil plan it was that he was concocting in his head.
âOh, I ainât sure.â Hiori shrugs, âBut from all the fights they had that I can remember, she never lost a single one."
Hiori caught sight of the smirk on Otoyaâs face growing wider, and if he were to push it, Hiori was certain that Otoya would was going to tear his jaw open from it.
Amused by the ninjaâs shamelessness, Hiori imparts a very much needed word of wisdom.
"If she and Karasu-kun were to fight for real right now, she would still win.â He laughs, not quite liking the sudden image of Karasuâs bruised face from long ago showing up in his head, âand that's with Karasu-kun burnin' all the candles at every end."
Otoyaâs suggestive expression wilted like a rose at the new information, stepping behind Yukimiya all of a sudden.
Wanting to see how far he could go, Hiori hummed and pretended to think deeper, âI think she does kickboxingâor was it karate? Well, doesnât matter. Yer screwed either way, Otoya-kun.â Hiori pats Otoyaâs shoulder as he walks past the group of terrified teenagers, âBest not to try!â He calls, waving his hand in farewell.
As he walks away, snickering softly to himself as he noted the look on his teammateâs faces. He remembers the day those two met, a moment in time so engraved in his head it felt kind of strange to see how much had changed.
Or maybe⌠just maybe, nothingâs changed at all.
---
"Didja lose your partner?"
A younger [Name] stood in front of a boy crouched by the bike rack near the curve, popsicle in hand as the other scratched the back of her neckâcraning her head to see if anyone was around the corner.
[Name] tried to catch his eye, shamelessly offering the half-eaten treat to him when he ignored her question.
Met by his silence, she steps closer to him, setting her bag next to his yellow hat as she crouches down to try and get a glimpse of his face.
"Oi," she calls again, waving a sticky hand in front of his face. "Can ya hear me?"
The boy hides his face further in the comforts of his arms, swatting away her hand without a word.
[Name] furrowed her brows at his dismissal, pouting at him even if he couldnât see.
Whatâs this kidâs deal? She thought.
Just as she was about to get back up and walk away, she heard himâalbeit very soft that could be mistaken for the windâwhimper.
He wasnât upset at her or anything, but he just didnât know what else to do at the moment, so he couldnât help but try to push her away. This was the last thing he wanted⌠for someone to see just how weak he was. He didnât get partnered up with the girl he wanted, so what? It wasnât like it was the end of the world. He thought it was the stupidest reason in the world. It shouldnât be something to be so upset over.
But he was.
To him⌠getting partnered up with Marisa really, really mattered.
Pained by the sudden reminder, he felt the back of his eyes tingle, silver brimming his downcast gaze.
"H-Hey, c'mon now, don't cry..." [Name] panics, dropping down to eye level with him once more at the sight of the tears streaming down his very sad face. Mindlessly, she thrusts the melting, half-eaten popsicle to him like an offering, like the spirit of summer could magically solve all his problems.  Â
She pats his back awkwardly, "I lost my partner, too." She blurted, her voice colored in cheer and laughter, as though the matter of losing a buddy on a school field trip was a funny story they can share for life.  Â
The reason for Karasu's sadness was a very different matter altogether, still, he appreciated his classmate's efforts. Her kind, and frantic energy pulling at the corners of his lips even by the smallest centimeter.  Â
"Hio-kun prolly made it back to the teacher, maybe your partner is there!" She smiles at him, like there was no surer thing in the whole wide world aside from her optimism. She extended a hand for him to take. "Let's go back, Nakimushi-san!"
"I'm not a crybaby!" He snaps, finally lookingâmore like glaringâat her through watery eyes, "And the name's Karasu. Karasu Tabito!" (believe it!)
"Okay, Tabito-chan!" She beams, one so bright it made him squint.
Before he could reprimand her for her actions, she plopped the matching yellow hat back onto his head, the brim settling crookedly as her sticky fingers lingered for a second too long. She adjusted the straps of her red backpack and looked to him in anticipation.
"Don't go calling me by my first name like we're close or somethinâ!" He yells, flustered at the thought of a girl being all chummy with him.
"Sure thing, Tabito-chan!" She replies, completely ignoring his protests as she drags him by his hand and led him back to the rest of the group.
---
That was how they became friends.
According to the testimony of Hiori Yoâwho was originally [Name]âs assigned partnerâshe was seen ditching him half-way when caught sight of an ice cream store, and somewhere along the way got wired with a crying kid on the sidewalk.
From that day onward, they just sort of⌠stuck together
---
At eight years old, [Name] discovered Karasuâs secret, as much as a secret it could be but⌠what she unveiled was his crush on Marisaâthe resident cutest kid in class, according to him.
It wasnât intentional. [Name] blamed it on Karasu. It was completely by accident.
She went to his house one Saturday morning to return the ball he had left by mistake last night when he came over to her house to play.
His older sister, Tsubame-nee-chan, who looked just like Tabito but with longer hair and a kinder attitude, had told [Name] that her best friend was upstairs. She was so used to having the girl come over that it started to become weird when there wasnât any laughter and banter in the house.
âTabitoâs upstairs,â Tsubame waves from the living room, laughing at something her friends said. âYa can just grab him yerself!â
Muttering a faint, âPardon the intrusionâ, taking off her slippers, and a âThanks, Tsubame-nee-chan!â, [Name] climbed the steps, no limit to her usual buzzing energy.
But the second her foot closed the last step of the stairs, she halted.
[Name] caught sight of Karasu at the far end of the corridor, standing in front of the full-length mirror he probably used more than his sisterâor anyone in his house for that matter. The boy hadnât taken note of her presence just yet, seemingly immersed in whatever it was that he was doing that merited his undivided attention and spatial awareness.
She tilted her head in curiosity and breathed to call out to him.
And with little to no warning at all, his voice broke through like thunderstorms.
"Marisa, I like you," he tells his reflection, flushing red from the weight of his own words.
[Name] gasped, her jaw dropping to the center of the earthâthe surprise simmering in her soul that it had frozen her over where she stood, causing her grip on the soccer ball to loosen. The ball slipped from her hands, descending step by step down the stairs, sounding like a drumroll for impending doom.
The sound had Karasu whipping his head in her direction looking like roadkill. Blushing, in the nicest word; lovesick in the worst.
"YOU LIKE MARIâ!"
Karasu, in sheer mortification, bolted toward her, yanking her away from the stairs and slapped a sweaty palm over her mouth before she could blacken his name in his own household. His heart racing faster than when he stayed past curfew and had to go home knowing his mom was waiting for him by the door with a slipper.
âShaddap!â He hisses, voice barely above a whisper as he glances around like a criminal.
Meanwhile, downstairs, in the living room, Tsubame glanced at the direction of the stairsânoting the series of thuds and muffled and restrained yellingâraising a questioning brow as it had her pausing mid-laugh. A minute of silence ensued after that, so she immediately concludes that it was probably nothing⌠hopefully.
Those two were always loud and rough and chaotic, there existed no day where she could describe them with just two of those adjectives, and frankly, it would never work anyway. Where there was loudness there was chaos, and all the other matches.
Besides, her brother was a soccer player, and [Name] was a karate practitioner.
Totally normal.
Back upstairs, Karasu dragged [Name] into his room like she was a dead body he was desperately trying to hide.
When he was sure that the door was slammed shut and that no other human on earth could possibly lo and behold his newly discovered secret, only then did he let her go. He knew full well that as he stood there all red-faced, heart pumping, colored in all the shades of horror for his impending fate, shoulders heaving as he struggled to regain his composure⌠Karasu Tabito was never gonna hear the end of her teasing.
And it began the moment [Name] stood up, dusted the dust from her clothes, and looked at him with the most skin-crawling smile to ever graze humanity. âSooo⌠Marisa, ey?â She jabs his side with her elbow, her smile growing impossibly wider.
Karasu groans, sliding dramatically against the door like a telenovela star as he hides his face behind his hands. âYer absolutely not allowed to tell anyone!â he commands, glaring at her from where he was, trying to act all big and scary but failing in [Name]âs eyes since he was far too red-faced like a stoplight to be considered a threat. ââSpecially not my sister! Sheâd tease me and Iâd be forced to hit the grave early.â
"Don'tcha worry, Tabito-likes-Marisa, yer secretâs safe with me!" [Name] salutes dramatically, a certain twinkle in her eyes as if his wishes were a heaven-sent mission to their strongest soldier.
Karasu let out an exasperated sigh, ruffling his hair in frustrationâalready beginning to count the days that remained of his secret.
"So...â She started, leaning closer to him with a mischievous smile, âWhatcha like about her, Tabi-chan?" [Name] teases, wiggling her eyebrows while she was at it, poking his reddening cheeks at the reminder of the pretty girl from class.
His face erupted in all the shades of redâif it was even possible. [Name]âs prodding wasnât helping his racing heart one bit, in fact, it only made him feel like his own organ was trying to break down his rib cage and run as far away as possible.
He wasnât getting away from thisânot unscathedâso might as well fess up.
"Well, she's really cute," Karasu admits, a tiny, soft smile painting his expression.
[Name] nodded enthusiastically, leaning closer in anticipation. But Karasu remained silent, he was just smiling there like an idiot staring off into yonder.
"What?" he asks as he took note of the unimpressed expression on his friend's face.
"Ya mean that's it?" she deadpans, all the happiness draining from her face at the sight of Karasu's lenient expression speaking volumes far more than when he spoke the wordsâ"Should there be more?"
"Oi! I always thought ya weren't the sharpest tool in the shed, but I didn't know yer stupidity was this highâOW!" [Name] yelps as Karasu karate-chopped the top of her head, effectively drawing the curtains to her insults to a close.
[Name] glared at him, eyes reflecting the thought: you dare use my own spells against me?
"You don't get a say!â He protests, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. âYa never liked anyone but the neighborhood cat!"
Because for the life of him, no matter how many kanji he learned to read or write, he was certain he couldn't convey a hundredth of Marisa's beautiful qualities.
"Liking someone is dumb!" she shot back, wincing as she rubs the top of her head to ease the ache. She was certain she'd develop all the necessary dodging maneuvers from her friend alone.
"Of course, ya'd think that you gorilla." Karasu laughs as he leaned over to pull at [Name]'s cheeks just to annoy her further.
The small conversation was something only the two of them shared. Lost under the stars of all their laughter and the echoes of their smiles⌠forever just theirs to keep.
Karasu never confessed his feelings for Marisa in the entirety of elementary school, or ever for that matter. And [Name], surprisingly true to her word, kept his secret well, a secret.
Thatâs why it came as a surprise.
It was the day of their elementary school graduation.
Tabito and [Name] stood next to each other as his sister took their photo, saying that they were one step closer to âreaching the age of maturityâ as she had so cryptically put it. Because what on earth could she mean by that? They were plenty mature. It didnât help that she was smiling weirdly at the two of them while she was at it.
But the biggest shock of the day wasnât Tsubame-nee-chanâs sudden teasing, no. It was something entirely different.
Marisa called to Tabito just as their class had finished capturing a photo together. [Name] hardly had any time to see everything unravel before she was whisked away by the Karate Club to take a picture of their own.
As she caught the last of their shadows from the corner of her eyeâMarisa, all smiles and laughing, Karasu, standing looking like he could snap like a taco shell at any moment but hid his situation very well.
For some reason unknown, the sight of them talking rang an unpleasant melody in the caves of [Name]âs chest, rattling the once peaceful solitude.
She blamed it on the pollen. She blamed it on the heat or the cold, whichever was more prominent. She blamed it on⌠quite literally everything else. Not willing to admit to anythingânot when she didnât even know what the heck this was.
Later that afternoon, when the two found themselves at the beach loitering on the wave breakers by the roadside to watch the sunset, Karasu told [Name] that Marisaâhis life-long crush at the timeâhad confessed to him.
He told it like it was nothing. As if it was no more than an ordinary occasion, like a weather report!
But [Name]âs reaction was a stark contrast to his nonchalance.
The revelation crashed against her like a tidal wave that nearly had her toppling over the concrete barrier, in danger of falling to the sandy shoreâa generous twenty-foot drop at least.
Karasu grabbed her by the scruff of her clothes, heart pounding at the sight of her almost fallingâ âIdiot, be more careful!â He scolds, carding a hand through his ever-growing violet hair.
âMARISA CONFESSED TO YOU?!â [Name] screams, standing up in absolute shock with zero regards that she almost had a close date with the Grim Reaper a few minutes ago.
"Hey! I already told ya to watch yerself! You'll fall!" Karasu reminds, reaching out to steady her. His brows remained furrowed as he stayed seated on the concrete barrier, only this time, one hand caged her own as his other found anchor on her ankle.
"Whatcha say? Ya better not have told her somethin' stupid! Gosh this is excitin'â"
âI rejected her.â
The world came to a standstill at the resounding echo of his words. But the tides continued to crash against the shores, drawing away not a moment later. The birdsâ orchestra flowed like the spring zephyrs as they flew over the vast finiteness of the horizons. Still⌠[Name] could not feel herself move from her frozen state.
Wasnât it too sudden? It felt like only yesterday that she discovered his crush on their classmate. Why⌠why?
Karasu looks to the ocean with a completely calm face, a stark contrast to the slowly rising tides. The sunset painted him golden, like all the stars melted just to color him in this moment.
When he was colored in that light, saturating him in every shade of soothing silence, softening his features⌠for the first time in forever, Karasu felt unreachable. Like he belonged to a world she had no right to step into. As though he would continue to travel past the borders of the Milky Way to some unknown universe far beyond what [Name] could comprehend.
When he was painted in all the colors of the sun, it was hard to deny.
It was difficult to fight the fluttering sensation thrumming in her heartâsurging in all the forms of powerâof happiness.
[Name] tugged on his arm that held her own, urging him to look at her as she asks, "Why?"
Indeed, why?
For as long as [Name] had known him, Karasu's always liked Marisa. He even went as far as to make her swear not to tell a single soul about his infatuation with the girl, not because he was embarrassed, but because he thought far too lowly of himselfâbelieved that he was too ordinaryâfor someone like Marisa to ever like him back.
"I... well, we're gonna go to different middle schools,â he shrugs, sweeping it under the carpet like it was no big deal. âIt would be a long-distance thing ya get me? So I rejected her." He talks about it so easily, always acting that it isnât eating him up inside.
He was always like this.
Using the hand that held the hand of the girl standing before him, Karasu pulled himself up from his sitting position. He towered over her easily, already breaking past a hundred and seventy centimetersâa reminder that they were growing upâand he was sure to grow taller in the near future.
"Nothin' weird about it,â he comments apathetically. âCompletely normalâow! Hey! What're ya doin'â[Name]!" He hurriedly shielded his arm from [Name]âs aggravated assault.
âYer an idiot!â she fires at him, her frustration dropping on him like a bomb.
"Ow! [Name]âstop! You hit like a gorillaâow!" Karasu finally held her thrashing arms, caging her in his hold so she couldn't hit him anymore.
He wasn't sure why [Name] was acting this way, or why she was so upset over this. What he was certainly most certain of is that her punches hurt. They hurt a whole lot.
"You're an idiot..." she echoes.
Karasu tried to look her way, but it proved to be an arduous task as she kept her head down. A few stands of her hair prevented Karasu from discerning what sort of expression was on her face. He hesitantly let her arms go, watching them fall to her side softly.
Karasu poked [Name]'s forehead, pushing her head slightly to get her to look up.
"Hey..." he calls gently, closing the remaining distance between them with a single stride, "Why're ya cryin'?"
[Name] looks to the ocean, aggressively wiping away the traitorous tears that slipped from the shackles of her eyes. She wasn't gonna cry over this. It was stupid.
"You liked Marisa a lot, Tabito."
It took Karasu by surprise that [Name] called him by his first name, free from her usual teasing jeers and awful nicknamesâstill, he didn't understand why is it that she was so upset by his situation.
"I just..." she begins, glancing at him from the corners of her eyes before sighing and turning to face him, "It was yer chance to be with the one you lovedâ"
"Oi, oi... love is a strong word for thatâ" Karasu wanted to complain, to say that it really wasnât like that, but looking at the saddened expression of his friend, he thought otherwise.
"âand you let the chance go just like that." She admits, her voice threatening to crumble from the heaviness that she feltâand before long, her tears had broken free from their holding cells.
"I know I can't say anythin' to ya cuz I'm a gorilla and I don't like anyone else but Miiko but don'tcha think it's a wasteâ" Karasu cut her off by wrapping his arm around her form, tangled her in gentleness that stood in great contrast to his usual rough and jagged demeanor.
Because he didnât like seeing her cry.
He doesnât like it when other kids make fun of her, even if he knew that she was better equipped to handle them far more than him. He doesnât like it when sheâs sad. And he doesn't like it when she wasnât around.
[Name] was an irreplaceable figure in his life⌠and it hurt him just as much that sheâthat she was sad⌠and he felt even worse this time because he knew that he was the one who caused it.
"Gettin' a love life ain't everythin' in this world ya know?" he tells her, threading a hand through her hair in a soothing gesture.
[Name] buries her face in his chest, nodding despite knowing that he wouldn't see.
She felt like the world's biggest scumbag. Her best friend in the whole wide world just turned down the girl he liked for so long. She should've been sadâangry at the world for forcing this fate onto Karasu, to her best friend who was the kindest person on earth. And she was!
Desperately, she tried to convince herself that she was.
But here she was⌠taking advantage of his kindness. Trying to take more than what she was given.
Because what else could this be? That there was this thrumming sensation in her chest that rejoiced in knowing that Karasu turned Marisa down.
"Hold on, why are you the one cryin'? Shouldn't it be me?" He teased, ruffling the threads of [h/c] that covered her head.
"Idiot!"
---
As the seasons changed and the moon waxed and waned, a good chunk of their time in middle school was spent with Karasu breathing into his soccer career slash club slash obsession, playing alongside Hiori Yoâ[Name]âs initial elementary school partner whom she ditched to get ice cream and was later forced to apologize to by her motherâall the while [Name] dedicated hers to Karate.
The two remained as close-knit as ever, choosing to wait for whomever had practice the longest so they could walk home together. Spending all breaks and lunches lounging around and glaring at people who looked at them funny. [Name] complaining about chemistry because who the hell would find joy in dragging numbers up and down, sideways and backwards, all over roll over. It was a pain. All she knew was that Protactinium + Nitrogen + Calcium + Potassium + Einsteinium = PaNcaKEs. And that was just about how far her Chemistry brain cells could peak.
It didnât help that Karasu was a wizard when it came to that godawful subject so when it came to helping her with it, tutoring sessions were 5% learning, 3% complaining, with all the rest occupied by his relentless teasing.
A horrible experience.
But for them who had known each other since once upon a time, it was nothing unusual.
Everything was the same as ever. Same old science woes. Same old swimming classes despair. Same old faces. Same old Karasu. Same old [Name].
That was until one winter night of their second year of middle school...
[Name] was set to compete in the winter Karate tournament and if she did well, it was one step closer to Nationals.
She trained day in, and day out near the field where Karasu played soccer when the school field was out for break.
The soccer player was not privy to her unshakable resolve, even going as far as labeling herâand letting her knowâthat she was âworking so hard like a cowâ which he received a kick as thanks.
It was fine during springâher training that is, even more so in summer, and Karasu would even let it slip in autumn but winter? Winter was a different matter altogether.
For the past days (and even last year), he had told her off for itâscolded her far more times than he would like to admit with a tone laced with all the streamers of irritation and illuminated by the lights of his concern. âYa gotta stop workinâ yerself so hard like a cow, gorilla girl. Youâll get sick!â
As he makes a move to hit her head like he always did, [Name] dodged and repaid his words with a very kind kick to his side, sending him staggering a few steps away.
"Ya don't get ta lecture me on that, stupid crow! Yer here too, equally as guilty! And don't call me a cow! Or a gorilla!" She points a numb finger in his direction, because even with her stubborn and brutish attitude, it sadly didn't make her immune to the cold.
"Yeah, yeah..." He waved her off with one hand as the other rubbed the spot she kicked.
"But I'm runnin' around so I ain't as cold, but you've just been standin' there for the past thirty minutes, aren'tcha cold?" He quirks a brow at her as he approached her slowly, like a wild predator cautious to scare away his prey.
"Oh, I'm freezinâ." She agrees nonchalantly, a mist of white clouds leaving the borders of her lips.
"Act more like it then, idiot." he deadpans, scratching his head in frustration.
"Here," Karasu breathes into his hands moving closer so he could cup her face.
"Woah. Ya really weren't jokin' when ya said yer freezin'" he says in surprise, laughing at his own discovery like it was the most amusing thing in the world. "Are yer hands cold, too?"
He retreated his hands and made a motion to take off his soccer gloves not a moment later, looking at them for a few momentsâtrying to figure out which hand was right and left, even if they wouldn't matter in the endâbefore sliding them onto her trembling fingers.
They hung loosely on her despite the Velcro straps going as far as they could possibly go.
Since when did he grow so much?
When she looks away from her hands to thank him, [Name] felt the world around her freeze into place, frosting over like the trees that bordered the field. Light snow descended from the heavens, the last sunrays dipping behind the horizons of the sky as the stars flickered to life one by one.
And then there it was again, that same fluttering feeling from so long ago. Only this time, it set everything in her to flames: her blood rushed far too fast for her head to keep up, lighting the meadows of her face to a vibrant shade of red, setting every hollow and edge into a raging inferno. She felt cold and warm everywhereâlike her body couldn't decide if it wanted to burn to ash or forever freeze with winter.
The colors of the night shone in a vibrant light, flowering in circles from the sheer intensityâbrighter than the summer sky yet dimmed in comparison next to himâto Tabito who looked at her like she was the only thing in the world, rubbing his hand against his arm to spark heat so he could thaw the frozen wasteland ravaging her soul.
Since when did she begin to see him like this? When did he become so saturated in all the colors of everyday life that he blended in so well?
When... did I start feeling like this?
Don't look at me like that, [Name] wanted to tell him. Don't laugh at me. Don't hold me like this... just don't.
Because if he didâwhen he does all of thisâhow was she supposed to fight off this greedy, hungry feeling festering inside her? This needless longing to keep him close to her, to never let him go, to show him all the wonders of the universe... all the colors of the sun, everything that he turned his back on because he believed that he wasn't enough to have any of them.
When he looks at her like that, when he laughs... when he holds her like thisâhow was she supposed to deny it?
That she was in love with him.
[Name] was in love with Karasu Tabito.
---
When the wave of High School crashed against the two best friends, it brought with it the cruellest game fate could play on [Name].
Marisa⌠had returned.
The same Marisa she had teased and jeered at Karasu about when they were kids. The same Marisa⌠Karasu had lovedâagain, such a strong wordâfor so long. And she guessedâno matter how much she didn't want to entertain the thought that Karasu could still like the same Marisa from elementary schoolâhe loves even now.
And it nearly killed her inside when she found that her suspicions were true.
It was a week after their first year had begun when Karasu came running from the pitch to meet her halfway, cleats thudding against the grass as she made her way to the bleachers.
"[Name]!" He yells as he runs towards her at full speed it nearly had [Name] contemplate if she should move aside so Karasu doesn't accidentally trample her over. But he ran to her with the biggest smile she had ever seen on himâyes, even happier than the time they won the local tournamentâit broke her heart to even think of sidestepping him, even if he did pose as a road hazard from his speed.
"Why'dya hafta feel like ya need to win a marathon, Tabi-chan?" She punches his arm playfully once he skidded to a stop near where she stood (after nearly running her over).
She sets her bag down as she laughs at the sight of Karasu buzzing in excitement. Must be something really important to him if he's this happy about it. Before [Name] could fully turn to face him, he had already grabbed her by the shoulders and started shaking her back and forth. "She's here!" He cheers.
"Who's here?"
"Marisa!"
[Name] felt her heart shatter from the happiness decorating every word that left the orbit of his tongue, shining like the stars that couldâve littered her evening. She should have been happy for him. Really, she should have shared even half the joy he felt from his supposed amazing discovery. She should've... she knew full well that she should.
So why does it remind her exactly of elementary graduation?
When he was whisked away from her by the same girl who she cheered Karasu to pursue? Why does it remind her so much that she wasn't a figure like Marisa in his life? She wasn't the object of his desire. Karasu didn't hold an ounce of romantic affection for her like he did for Marisa. She... [Name]... was just his friend. She was his best friend. And god... did that hurtâthat she couldn't be more than thatâwhen all she wanted was to be a little greedier, to have a place in his heart like Marisa did. She couldn't quite understand it... even if she knew deep down that Karasu liked Marisa, that he had her image perched atop a pedestal in the center of his heart, [Name] couldn't be contented with just being his friend.
The one friend who loved him so much.
The one friend... that he couldn't love back.
"Ya hafta help me, [Name]!â His voice anchored her back to reality. âI know I told ya that gettin' a love life ain't everythin' but now that I actually stand a chance... IâI don't wanna lose it agai... [Name]? You still there?"
Karasu waved a hand over her face, taking note of the expression painted on her face, almost as if she just saw a ghost. "Hello? This is ground control to [Name], are ya still in orbit?"
Through the haze, [Name] watches as Karasu walked around her in circles, poking her cheeks to try and get her back to himâhuh, what an easily misunderstood thought.
She blinked, taking in the way he eyes her in confusion, his ridiculously gelled hair remaining immovable even as he prodded and scratched his scalp like it held all the answers in the world. Really, it wasn't him who was stupid for trying so hard... it was her.
Because as it stands, she was the one foolish enough to fall for him.
"Oho~ so yer finally mannin' up to ask her out, eh?" she smirks, her facade tugging at the seams of her resolve, pulling at the pieces of her shattered heart. In the silence of his unspoken rejection, she found herself gluing them together, even if they threatened to come apart later. Just a little longer, she would coerce. Just a little more... so that he doesn't find outâso he wouldn't find outâthat his feelings... were slowly killing her.
"Don't even start," Karasu holds a hand to her face, he couldn't stomach that teasing shine in her eyes. How long has it been since he last saw that? Far too long he believes, still... he asked himself why he didn't miss it as much as he thought he would've.
Back then, even if it annoyed him to the point of starting a fistfight with [Name]âwhich he not-so-surprisingly lost every single timeâhe would secretly be grateful that she pushed him to go reach for the things that made him happy. In his little love life endeavors. No matter how badly it ended for the two of themâlike getting scolded for coming home late or getting accompanied by the neighbor who owned Miiko, the cat, back home.
So why now? He didn't quite understand why it had to be now that it felt so wrong to see her pushing him towards someone else again.
She used to do it all the time, and it never bothered him.
Karasu briefly asked himself if the reason behind it was because they spent threeâgoing fourâyears having no one else but each other. No, that couldn't have been it. Hiori was there sometimes, and Karasu was sure it never felt like this unpleasant feeling.
This was [Name] for crying out loud! The elementary kid who offered a half-eaten popsicle to him like it was some treasure. [Name] whom he pushed into the mud pond and laughed as she tried to get the dirt off her face. [Name] who could kick him so hard that he would fight to hold back his tearsâeven now that they were in high school.
[Name] was his best friend...
"I'll help ya get with 'er!" she grins, planting her hands on her hips in that little mannerism of hers that Karasu bets she doesn't even know she does, as though she was about to give him some prophet-level guidance free of charge.
Karasu just stares at her, longer than he would have liked to admit. Has she always been this short? Or did he simply grow taller?
Had they always been like this?
Yeah, she was his best friend.
And there should be nothing more.
âŚRight?
---
And so, the first semester of their first year in high school was spent planning ways to get Karasu together with Marisa while [Name] pulled all the hair on her scalp trying to hide her ever-growing affection for her violet-haired friend.
This also consisted of asking around the campus for Marisa with [Name] doing all the "cow's work" as Karasu had oh-so-gently put it, which merited him a much-deserved kick to his shin.
He had many excuses. One, he didnât want to seem desperate (which he was). Two, he was too busy (which he is). And three, apparently, he didnât want any rumors to start going around that he was still pining over his elementary school crush (which he very much was).
Even if [Name] told him not to be ashamed of it, Karasu still couldn't bring himself to do it...
Part of it, though, was because he didnât miss the way the fire in [Name]âs eyes froze over whenever it was mentioned. He just decided that he didn't like that even if he didn't know the reason why. It bothered him. A lot.
If it were [Name] who asked around, it was different. There would be nothing to worry about since she was also a girl, and girls look for other girls all the time, don't they? They even accompany each other to the restroom like a pair of FBI Agents.
And if Karasu were to lay his heart bare for everyone to see, the only girl he looked around for, flipped heaven and earth over, out of his own jurisdiction and nearly toppled over in despair when he couldnât findâaside from his mom and his older sisterâwas [Name].
But he didnât know how to tell that to her.
The two best friends (mainly [Name] doing all the hard work) discovered a couple of interesting information about Karasuâs person of affection:
Marisa was in the swim club, an extremely coincidentally convenient twist of fate since the pool was by far the nearest facility near the soccer field (the dojo the farthest having been located on the other side of the school).
She excelled in Japanese Literature and Chemistry.
She worked part-time at a local cafĂŠ on Saturdays around the afternoon, another heaven-sent opportunity since soccer practice ended right before noon.
And finally written at the bottom of the paper in all caps along with a few doodles of hearts.
MARISA LIKES MUSHROOMS!!! â¤â¤đâ¤â¤
"Is that enough, yer highness?" [Name] asks him sarcastically, rubbing the tiredness from her eyes as she had spent the majority of her night stalking Marisa across all social media platforms.
She could pass as a CIA agent by now from all this digging.
She eyes the page ripped from her notebook that Karasu held in one hand as they sat face to face in the classroomâwith their desks pushed together to accommodate their lunches.
Written on the slightly wrinkled paper, in messy scrawny handwriting were the fruits of her hard labor.
"I better get compensated for his, you rabies-infected crow," she mumbles, resting her head on the desk, and closing her eyes from the tiredness.
"Wow, ya got all of this in one night?" Karasu scans the paper, they werenât much but it was still far more than what he couldâve gathered on his own. His stare lingered a moment longer on the girlânoting the way her head stayed resting on the desk, exhaustion seeping through the crevices of her skin as he observed the way her entire frame wilted from exhaustion. Â
[Name] hummed in confirmation, far too tired to give a worded reply. Now that the less than sufficient hours of sleep were getting to her, she feared that if she spoke another word to Karasu about Marisa, she would end up saying something she'd regret. So, it was best to just... stay silent.
It's getting easier to hear Karasu talk about Marisa. Bearable in the kindest word; numbing in the worst. Still, it didn't mean that she could deny that it hurt any less.
Learning to live through something was very different from accepting it, especially when it was the one you love loving someone else.
[Name] just hopes that she gets over this soonâbecause the last thing she wanted was to get in the way of Tabito's happiness. Or worse, lose him because of her own selfishnessâbecause she couldn't get over a silly pathetic crushâthat she couldn't stop wanting, praying⌠hoping to have him more than a friend.
"Oh, she likes mushrooms," she hears Karasu mumble, seemingly intrigued.
It was better to pretend that she didn't hear him. It's better this way, she tells herself. He wasn't going to remember anyway, but somehow, her traitorous mouth always worked faster than her brain, a step too late to grab the chance to hold her tongue before she says something she would regret... which is now.
"Ya can give her yer mushrooms now, Tabi-chan."
Silence blanketed the distance between them, seemingly setting them apart from the reverberating chaos ensuing in the classroom.
[Name] was embarrassed beyond belief, feeling her entire face catch fire yet was too exhausted to shield it away from himânot like he could see, but still!
Please let the ground swallow me whole.
Karasu looks to her like she suddenly grew three heads. "I'll always give ya my mushrooms, [Name].â He whispers softly, placing an elbow on the table, propping his face upright with his palm as he unconsciously smiled at the blush that littered the meadows of her face.
âYa love 'em right? Just âbout the only other thing ya like other than Miiko." He snickers at his own jest, remembering a time in their childhood when [Name] would look over the fence and stare at the neighbor's cat for hours or chase it around the little alleyway near Miiko's house.
She felt her heart skip a beat. [Name] blamed it on the weather, or perhaps a growing ailment that made her heartbeat irregular. This was practically Arrythmiaâdangerous and a health risk!
But she was sure that heart diseases didnât come with lingering affections for your best friend. It also didnât come with the pain of knowing that he was never gonna like her back. And she was most certain that it wasnât attached with happiness after knowing that he remembersâŚ
[Name] didn't like that she felt happy that Karasu knew that little thing, even if everything about her had practically become baseline knowledge for the soccer player. She just didn't like it.
"Uhuh," she agrees mindlessly, her voice squished by gravity as she remained still laying her head on the desk facing the window and looking at the world vertically.
"When ya marry her, can't just go out in the middle of dinner ta hand me some mushrooms, right?" She teases, the rumble of her laughter feeling more like a hurtful jab to her already breaking heart.
"I guess..." Karasu no longer stared at the paper he held in his hand, opting to observe his very sleep-deprived [Name].
Maybe the dryness of her eyes was getting to her or perhaps she was tired of him beating around the bush and walking on eggshells every time Marisa was around.
Karasu sighs, folding the paper three times and tucked it away in the safety of his bag. The raging inferno in her soul dwindled to a small flame, her usual bladed tongue that cut through his ego had dulled, her silence all too prominent in a world where everyone had something to say.
Ah⌠I donât like this. Â
"Hey, gorilla woman." he grips her head like a ball, although he makes a conscious effort not to hurt herâlest he risk his well-being be a training dummy for the karate practitioner.
[Name] tried to wave away his arm but right now, she was too tired to even lift her hand. She could only mumble a very annoyed, "Don't call me gorilla, you rat-nest-haired crow."
"Let's go to a cafĂŠ this weekend," he suggests, taking a strand of her smooth hair and twirling it between his fingers like it was some sort of scientific breakthrough.
Was it weird that he was inviting her to go out all of a sudden?
But this was [Name]! They always went out together whether it's the local fair, watching a soccer match, or those late-night convenience store runs... this was nothing special.
Karasu started to chant that phrase like a mantra in his head. He was catching himself doing that too muchâtrying to convince himself that it was nothingâthat spending time with [Name] was like a norm already.
They've done it a thousand times and he reckons, a thousand more after this... so what's the difference?
His heart thudded against the confines of his ribs at the sight of her: tired beyond all rhyme and reason, brows furrowed from the noise buzzing in the small room filled with their classmates and other students, her empty bento box next to his own like yin and yang. Salt and pepper. It wasnât complete without the other.
Has she always been this present in his life? Since when? When did she start to be so interwoven in everything he did that it became strange when she suddenly disappears even when sheâs right there? Really⌠since when?
Since forever...
And maybe, just maybe, that was the difference.
An idiotic part of [Name] rejoiced at his invitationâ
"We can see Marisa there while we're at it," he quickly adds without thought, afraid she might misunderstand.
âyet all too suddenly; cruelly, she is reminded that she shouldn't long to be more than just his friend.
"Sure thing, Tabi-chan..." she whispers softly, forcing the thorns in her throat to pin down the hurt so they wouldnât tumble outâthat he may never see them.
And there, with the afternoon gale flowing past the curtains, she feels her heart breaking a little bit more.
---
When the weekend rolled around, Karasu finished his soccer practice exactly before noon, leaving him with a few spare minutes to change into the extra clothes he brought with him. Initially, he felt like the unluckiest athlete in the world when he dragged his ass here at 5 in the morning yet now that he was preparing to spend the rest of his day earlier than what he originally planned, he began thinking that it wasn't so bad after all. At the very least, it gave him enough time to go and see [Name] look at him in envy that his practice ended earlier than her.
[Name], much to Karasu's expectations, did not look at him in jealousy as he had hoped. Instead, she was second-in-line for kicking practice, looking like all the forces of good and evil conspired together to make her day as terrible and energy-draining as much as it could.
The Karate coach, a middle-aged woman who was also their gym teacher, made everyone stay back to practice some drills, claiming she saw it on her social media feed last night and wanted everyone to try it out... and no one was going to leave until at least one of them got it. It was cruelâvery much the kind of savagery she expected to get from this tyrant (coach) in her innate domain (karate)ânot that she was any stranger to cruelty, though she would be lying if she claims she didn't feel just a little bit sad when she was at the receiving end of it.
Karasu was allowed to stay in the dojo and watch, so long as he remained a safe distance from any potential kicking pads that might come flying his wayâa warning he engraved to his mind and soul after getting smack-dabbed in the face by one, and many, many close calls.
It wouldn't be the first time he'd watch [Name] practice; he'd been making the trip from the soccer field to the dojo ever since the beginning of first year that the coach relented and let him stay no matter how many times she told him to go away.
Karasu didn't mind the extra cardio, more often than not, [Name] was the one who had practice running so far from dismissal time, leaving him with nothing to do but sit and wait for her to finish so they could go home together. And it was rarely the other way around.
But seeing her here, in her element, always tugged at something in his chest. A sort of reminder that this was the girl he was lucky enough to call his best friend.
When it was [Name]'s turn to do the drill, everything faded to silence... until it was just her: bouncing on her feet under a thousand shimmering lights, drawing in a breath in preparation. And like the flow of the spring zephyrs, she sliced through the air like a fairyâan aggressive and very, very strong fairyâstriking the lowest pad with her left foot, her right foot forcing the middle pad to fly, and finallyâafter so many failed attempts and an almost sprained ankleâsuccessfully kicked the last top pad with her left foot.
She landed gracefully, like the first fall of snow, shattering the momentary reverie Karasu found himself raptured into.
What the hell?
[Name] looked to her coach in miserable anticipation, a silent plea to release her from this torture. It was between this room and this witch how many times she and her teammates had to do that godawful trick.
The coach gushed over the exhausted [Name], complimenting her for a few seconds before dismissing training.
[Name]'s tired vision zeroed in on Karasu, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor near the door, bag next to his side, and looking every bit the part of someone going on the most anticipated date of his life. [Name] blamed it on the light, or the fatigue seeping into the cracks of her heart, but for a small moment, a foreign light shone through the depths of sapphire pools of his irises.
She thought nothing of it, choosing to lazily wave at him from where she stood, completely oblivious to the lingering glimmer in his expression or the way his face shone brighter at her greeting as he waves back; that for the first time ever, the usually cocky soccer player found himself drowning in the oceans of shyness and hesitance at the sight of his best friend.
"Imma change real quick, so wait for me a little longer, 'kay?" she called, brushing past his figure as she sluggishlyâbag in handâmade her way to the locker rooms.
Karasu nodded absentmindedly, his eyes tracing the shadows of her figure until she disappeared around the corner.
Câmon, me, this isnât the time to feel all mushy for [Name]! Thatâs [Name]! Your best friend! The gorilla girl next door always working hard like a cow, he internally scolds himself.
Karasu let out a low groan, slumping over on the floor, staring at the place where [Name] once stood. He swore he could almost see her figure there, and he would have believed his own illusions if he hadn't just seen her walk past him to go change.
The soccer player runs a hand over his face in frustration. "Honestly, what's wrong with me..." he mumbles, covering his head with his arm like it can somehow magically put out the wildfire wreaking havoc on the meadows of his face, burning through his resolve like paper.
In the locker room, [Name] was facing a dilemma of her own.
"Hey, [Last Name]-chan, are you and Karasu-kun going out?" one of her teammates asks, a gentle curiosity for Karasu and her long-term friendship, but the words felt like collapsing stars in the once quiet place.
In horrified befuddlement, [Name] screamed an anguishedâ"Huh?!" like the words her teammate spoke had been a cursed enchantment that would linger through her bloodline for a thousand generations and not the fantasy she wanted to bleed into reality.
"That gel-faced crow who's scared of water? Hell no!" she denies, trying to have it look like the teases and jeers she usually passed around with others.
"But he always waits for you to finish practice" her teammate pointed out.
And it was trueâKarasu always made the trip across campus just to wait for [Name] to conclude training no matter how long it dragged on. She recalls the many times the soccer player had fallen asleep by the door, using her gym bag as a pillow because, according to him, her clothes were fluffier and a lot more comfortable than the mess of dirty, sweat-drenched heap in his bag he called clothes.
And as told by another one of his anecdotes, [Name]'s stuff (and even herself) were a lot more preferable sleeping buddies than a soccer ball. A soccer ball! Then there was also the day he carried her home after a particularly bad fall from kicking practice, even if Karasu himself was tired beyond belief.
"That mole rat's been around for so long, we prolly look the same in everyone's eyes by now." [Name] jokes as she continues to rummage through her bag, shaking her head from the horrible image of her having Karasuâs hair.
"And besides..." she murmurs, her gaze distant as she stares at the dress she choseâpicking apart her closet all night, spending so long trying to carefully place it in her bagâonly to betray herself by abandoning it last minute.
He already likes someone else.
---
The walk to the cafe was relatively silent.
Karasu kept the comments of [Name] being far too quiet for the past week to himself. He thought, maybe she was just tired. The school festival was coming up, but she also still had to train. It was cruel, especially the arduous training he saw her endure earlier that she looked ready to rearrange her coachâs face to roadkill.
Domed by an eternally blue sky, he glances at her from the corner of his eyes.
She looked like hell!
Karasu wasnât about to lie and tell her that she looked greatâthat would just be cruelâso he chose not to say anything at all.
He didnât trust himself with his words, a restraint he put on himself like heavenâs command after he caught himself looking around a store and thinking: Oh, [Name] would like this, or, Sheâd look good in this, before a hollowing echo of, She always looks good in everything though, would cause him to freeze where he stood and cover his face in shame for having such thoughts.
By far the worst case of this was when he stopped someone because he mistook her for [Name]âit was ridiculous! This was getting outrageous!
Yet one look at her, right here, when all the colors of the sun had painted her in an ethereal light, how could he still think that she was the most beautiful person on the planet?
It must be witchcraft. A curse put upon him for lying. A truth⌠that he was finding increasingly difficult to deny.
Absolutely⌠ridiculousâŚ
"You tired?" he asks casually, even if the answer was staring at the road in the form of dark circles heavier than Oganesson.
"Nah.â She smiles through the haze, lazily eyeing him from the sides. âThis is the usual ain't it?" she laughs, shifting the weight of her bag that she refused to let Karasu carry despite his many offers and demands for her to just give it to him.
"Don't act so tough, gorilla woman. If yer tired, we can always just go another day." He rubs the back of his neck, finding no other thing to do to ease this shaking sensation in his cardiac muscles.
"Stop callinâ me gorilla woman, you turd-face crow,â she barks, though her tone didnât hold an ounce of real bite. â'Sides... we're already here. It'd be a shame to leave now."
They stood in front of a glass-front cafĂŠ, cakes and other desserts peering at the passersby from the window. The little signboard by the door offering a warm welcome.
The scent of something faintly sweet weaved with the aroma of coffee waltzed through the warm air of the shop, a low hum of conversation rippling the serene atmosphere.
It thankfully was not the busiest place on the planet. There were a couple of middle school kids by the window side laughing amongst themselves, an office worker staring blankly into the horizon as the sunlight caught her auburn hair in a shimmering light, lastly, an elderly couple shared a pie and some loving smiles near the bar.
"Welcome!" A melodic voice cuts through the air, littered with all the scent of flowers in an open field, warm like the hearth of a fire.
Karasu turned in the direction of the voice, squinting at the sight of a girl in an apron holding a notepad. Who the hell was this loser? He thought, amused in the kindest light, domineering, in the worst.
The soccer player pushes [Name] to an empty booth, telling her to go order whatever her heart desires.
âJust get me whatever,â she mutters, closing her eyes, looking every bit like the monks he occasionally sees on TV⌠only cuterâwhat the actual hell?
âSorry to burst yer bubble but they arenât sellinâ that here.â He teases, reaching over to pinch her cheeks to get her to wake.
âOw! Quit that!â She yelps and swats his hand away, sticking her tongue out at him before grabbing the menu from the table. âIâm gonna make your pockets hurt, turd-face.â
She buries her head in the menu dedicating every bit of concentration on the booklet, and he let herâeven if he knew how this was gonna end.
âThe Chocolate Milk non-coffee drink! And some cake trio platter!â she smiles at himâlike he hung the constellations in the sky, or that he had been the one who conjured all the colors of the sunâthe first in a long while, so it seems.
âYa always get that everywhere we go.â He sighs, tracing her features with a gentle gaze.
âYa asked me what I wanted, and I want thatââ she raises her voice in faux defiance as if daring him to contradict her.
âYeah, yeahâŚâ he waves her off, flicking her forehead to add to her ire. ââScuse me,â he calls over the lady who welcomed them earlier.
[Name], lost in her own thoughts, allowed her gaze to linger on his side profile from under her lashes. It wasnât intentional. Why was he sitting there like that anyway all broad-shouldered and tall andâandâŚ
She sighs in defeat.
When did you get so pretty? She thinks, mapping the edges of his jaw, memorizing the sudden sharpness in his gaze.
When did I get so sappy? She lets out a breath, shaking her head to clear her thoughts.
"Oh, Karasu-kun! Long time no see!"
The greeting caused [Name]âs eyes to shoot open, her stare landing on Karasu before it traced his gaze to the cafĂŠ worker smiling at themâat him, every atom the embodiment of a daydream. Built upon the foundation of effortless femininity.
âUhâŚâ Karasu trails off, unsure of what to reply. He was certain he didnât know this personâ
âYou donât remember me?â the waitress points to herself, âItâs Marisa, from elementary school.â She laughs, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ears.
Karasu didnât speak for a moment, short enough to feel natural yet all the stretch to let [Name] know that he was struggling to think about what to say.
"Marisa⌠Oh, Marisa!â His voice raises higher than expected, like he was caught red-handed for something he was guilty about. âDidn't expect you to be working here." He says, his easy-going tune hiding the truth that they intentionally chose this place because she was working hereâthat it was not a fated coincidence but a conspired plan. That was what [Name] thought, after all, she was the one who brought him here.
But Karasu⌠Karasu had forgotten all about that. Â
"[Last Name]-san, too. Hello," Marisa greets politely, every inch of her polished to a girly perfection. [Name] nods her head in acknowledgement, mumbling a quiet âHiâ.
"So, what can I get you two?" She asks smoothly, quickly pulling out a notepad.
Karasu steals a glance at [Name] finding her slumped where she was seated, painfully aware of the feel of her knee grazing his from under the table.
"I'll get the bamboo shoot soup if ya will." He replies cooly, like it was the most natural thing in the world, and it probably was.
What wasnât natural, however, was thatâŚ
"Ever the favorite, huh?" Marisa teased, writing down his choice. "Ours have some mushrooms in it, so do be careful."
âŚShe remembered.
"No biggie, [Name] here loves those." Karasu tilts his head to her direction. Did he have all the intention to rub it in her face that he was so close to getting the girl of his dreams? Or did the world mocked her through him as if saying, in big bold letters: Stop dreaming already, girl, yer never gonna get âim. Totally not cool.
[Name] didnât know how to reply, she had no intention of doing so in the first place since she wasnât even supposed to be part of this conversation to begin with.
"Really? I love mushrooms too, [Last Name]-san." Marisa beams, smiling like an angel.
"Well ain't that a surprise!" Karasu laughs.
No... it really wasn't.
He was enjoying this too much, [Name] thinks. How cruel does fate have to be that [Name] was hearing this conversation right in front of her face? Pretty damn cruel. She was no stranger to that, her coach made sure of it, fate made it certain, and the world set it in stone so that she may never forget.
Yet it still hurt. It hurts⌠so much. Every time sheâs led back to this road, back to this desolate, empty, and pot-hole-riddled roadâher resolve⌠breaks just a little bit more.
But she took one look at him, at Karasuâher best friend in the whole wide universeâlooking so happy, and she plunged to freezing depths of her acceptance.
She steeled her heart, tightened the seams that they bled through the threads. Just a little longer, she whispers. Please, just for a little longer. Karasu's happy. Finally, after three long years of waiting for this chance, it's already within his grasp.
That's right.
This is how it should be.
This would be the inevitable outcome of all this planning and running around. All so he can be with her.
These useless feelings need to go away, they need to leave because they would just get in the way. They'll wedge themselves between Karasu and his happiness. [Name]âs yearning to be more than just a friend in his eyes would drive him away. Karasu didn't think of her like that. He didn't like her that way. And he would never. And she needs to learn how to accept that.
Because why would heâhow could heâif Marisa was the one in front of him? How could he bring himself to love [Name] when the girl of his dreams liked him, too?
I'd rather see them happy together. So happy that it'll show just how ridiculous it is for me to want him. Until I can't even dream of it anymore.
Because that was how it should be.
This was the reality.
[Name] loves Karasu that much was true.
But... Karasu loved Marisa⌠and no power on earth was going to change that.
---
"Isn't this strange," Tsubame, Karasu's older sister, mused, looking up from her schoolwork all the way from the dining room table to stare at her little brother's entrance like he was some strange lab experiment gone wrong.
"What's strange?" Tabito questions, yanking his shoe off with all his usual carelessness before haphazardly shoving them into the cabinet by the door.
"Yer not with [Name]-chan."
Tsubame now stood before him, an inch taller than him, courtesy of the higher leveling of their living room from their entryway.
"Didja get in a fight with her or somethin'?" She buzzed around the taller male like a bee, completely forgetting about her work still littered on the table. "Finally win? Yer count is on an outstanding three to fourty seven, those three wins because you cheated!"
Karasu dodged his sister's nosiness, grabbing a glass from the cupboard to fill it with his usual kelp tea.
"We didn't fight," he mumbles, from his spot, he could see past the window above the kitchen sink and to the window of [Name]'s living room. "She was just tired 's all." He answers mindlessly, rinsing off his glass before turning to leave, brushing past his older sister and her simmering curiosity.
Tabito didn't understand it himself.
That was supposed to feel like mission accomplished! He should've been over the moon, even reaching farther than the center of the galaxy... but he wasn't.
He blamed it on the mushroom he was forced to eat! He blamed it on the karate team's coach. He blamed it on destiny, on fate, on any other higher being messing with him and laughing in the coves of their habitats!
Most of all... he blamed himself.
Whose fault was it other than his that all [Name]âs hard work got burnt to the ground?
Because when he talked to Marisa for the first time in three yearsâjust when he thought it would be a lasting moment that would echo for all eternities to comeâhe felt absolutely nothing. Like that day back in elementary graduation. Completely impassive from that girl's confession.
Empty.
He didnât even recognize Marisa! He called her a loser! And despite having her right next to him, within armsâ reach, close enough to hold, all the bit possible to touch⌠all he could think about was the girl sitting in front of him.
How her eyes looked too tired, that she probably wanted nothing more than to sleep, or get that tournament trophy over and done with and goof around.
Everything about Marisa blended with all the colors of the earth, nothing but a backdrop to make everything else shine. Her voice fading to a dull echo until all he could hear was the silenceâŚ
"Ya can't keep denying, Tabi-chan."
...Silence left by the lack of [Name]'s presence.
It must be witchcraft; someone must've cast a spell on him on the way home! That must be it! Because why on earth was he hearing [Name]'s voice in the safety of his home when he very much clearly saw her walk through her front door and shut the door in his face?
He blamed it for forgetting to clean his ears earlier, because the next words he heard came in the form of his sister's voice. "If there's somethinâ ya wanna say to her then ya better say it."
It was Tsubame-nee-chan from the very beginning.
It was just Tabito thinking otherwise. It was him summoning all these hallucinations of [Name]. Conjuring the image of her in the afternoon haze, seeing her face in the breaks of dawn, hearing her voice in the horizons of twilight. It was all him. All him.
"It'll make ya feel better if yer just honest with yerself. Do it now while ya still have the time." Tsubame places a comforting hand on her littleâwho is now not so littleâbrother's shoulder. "Regret always comes when the moment's over."
"Does this come from yer personal experience?" Tabito shot back, evading what he already feels engraving in his heart.
"Imma let that slide, you ungrateful brat," Tsubame smiles through her irritation, before it quickly thaws to a sigh, "It's an old saying, Tabito. 'Repentance comes too late' or 'the biggest fish is always the one that got away'." She shakes her head, tired of her brother being an idiot!
"While she's still there, just tell her how you really feel."
"What's that s'posed to mean?" he barks, aggravated by the hidden implication, he didn't like thatâ
"Oh, please! Assess yerself for once!" Tsubame yells, throwing her hands fed up with this idiotâs stubbornness, turning her back and retreating to the dining table to continue her work. âYa shouldnât need someone to spell it out fer ya! Figure it out like man, ya idiot!â
His sisterâs words strike true, rattling the peace within his great fortress of denial. The weight of it left him standing there in the ruins of his cowardness, unsure if he should rebuild the remnants of something he once had thought would stand for eternity.
Tabito needed to know that for himself, he knew that. He also knew that he shouldn't need an external force to have him work on his tangled feelings of friendship and love, because it would make it meaningless. He needed to find that out on his own.
He needed to do all that gruelling powder and brushwork on his own accord and find out for himself where exactly did he cross the line between friends and 'I guess spending life with you wouldn't be so bad'.
[Name] was always there.
Everywhere he looked, in every memory he held, she existed. No matter what point in his life he travels back toâshe was just... there.
All the memories he could recall had remnants of her: a smile, her daunting laugh, the pain of her kicks, the scent of daylight that lingers around wherever she goes. She was there. In everything. Everywhere. In all the colors of the sun.
The heat from soccer practice. The gentle gale of spring. The moon in all its glory. She was there. The laughter echoing in the streets. A shadow in the playground. The starting thought before daybreak. A lingering memory before he succumbs to slumber. She was there.
In all his thoughts, every action, every smile, every laugh... they all led back to her. The fall of snow, the rain of petals, the crashing waves, the eternal saturated autumn sky.
There's a piece of her in everything.
When did it all change?
When did I start seeing you like this? When did I go so far beyond the boundary that I couldn't see that everything was blurring past all the colors of friends? When did I start missing the sound of your voice? When did I start staying in the illusion that I didn't see you more than a friend?
When did I...
This was the reality.
An undeniable truth he had always run away from. Choosing to cower behind the fragments of a past he had long swept out of his heart.
He was in love with her.
Karasu Tabito... was in love with [Name].
And he has been for a long time.
---
When Monday morning came in, Karasu showed up on her doorstep with his uniform thrown on his figure looking like a whirlwind passed him by on his way to her house.
He gave her his usual smirk, trying to bite at her ego from the way he stares at her. Condescending from an outsiderâs words; lovesick from his. Â
âDidja run twenty before cominâ here on somethinâ?â She teased, fixing his crooked tie with a laugh.
Karasu stares at her face scrunched into concentration, his head buzzing from the drumming of his heartâreaching all the way to the tip of his fingers. He prayed to all the deities out there that she couldnât hear the way his chest wanted to split open from the lingering warmth of her touch. Or that she couldnât feel that his body was emitting more heat from her close proximity.
Did he do this on purpose? No.
But for once he thanked all the cells in his body for working late on a Monday morning because he gets to be at the receiving end of [Name]âs warm touches.
âTabi-chan? Are ya listeninâ?â
Karasuâs momentary reverie crumbled at the sound of her voice. [Name] eyes him with heavy concertation, tilting her head as she looks up at him, her hand now holding onto the strap of her bag.
âSorry, what were you sayinâ?â he whispers, his breath falling short and had his words tumbling like the wind, left for only his and the earth to hear.
[Name] paid no mind to his strange demeanor, shifting her weight from one foot to another and looked at anything but his searching gaze.
âI said I was sorry,â she purses her lips together, the words didnât taste particularly unpleasant, but the reminder of their laughter still haunted her more than sheâd like to admit. âFer cuttinâ yer date short with âer, I mean.â She clarifies, shutting the door behind her as she steps a foot onto the front lawn, walking past Karasu who stood on her porch a moment longer than usual.
Karasu quickly pulled himself together and closed the distance she put between them in a few large strides, slyly taking her bag with her as he distracted her with conversation.
"'S nothin'. We had a talk while ye were dyin' in the bathroom," he muses, poking at her side to rile her up.
"Hey! I wasn't dyin'â" [Name] rose to protest, because she really wasnât. She excused herself to the bathroom to spit out whatever the hell it was that she ateâ"Their bread had raisins on them. Raisins. I hate raisins." She argues defensively, crossing her arms over her chest⌠entirely unaware that her bag was no longer in her hold.
"Could've given them to me," Karasu shrugs, leaning half his weight on her, a terrible habit he developed when they were nine years old and hasnât grown out of ever since.
[Name] dragged her weight to her legs, trying to keep both him and her upright. She doesnât wanna topple over the sidewalk... again. Itâs happened too many times already, and with more than at least ten of their neighbors seeing.
"Not in front of yer Mona Lisa," [Name] sneers, pushing his ever-drawing face away.
"Puhlease, she's hardly a Mona Lisa." Karasu comments, voice mumbled by the nice-smelling hand that belonged to the girl next to him.
[Name] was not sure how to respond to that. The truth was that they left the cafĂŠ after they finished eating. But some might think, oh, isnât that what you do though? Well, it was what she wanted to do. She planned that meet-up to end with Karasu and Marisa living happily ever after. But as she went to the bathroom, came back, and told Karasu that she had to go home because she wasnât feeling wellâhe offered to walk her home. It was what a good friend does, really it was. But you donât do that when the girl you like is standing right next to you!
Plus, they talked about that! [Name] told him that she was gonna make up some dumb excuse to get them alone. This was the dumb excuse! But he was being more of an idiot than the idiotic excuse leaving her lips.
In the end, they ended up bidding her farewell⌠with Karasu lying through his teeth that he was gonna come backânot that [Name] knew that considering she was far too busy glaring at him from the side.
"Marisa... has a boyfriend already,"
Karasuâs voice froze the gaping silence between them, his words flying into the blue skies, forever left to find their way to the land of acceptance Karasu has long since passed.
[Name] looked at him in shock, stumbling over her step before regaining her footing only to gawk at him again.
Is that true? Did Marisa really have a boyfriend? Since when? I never saw that on her socials. Did Karasu confess or something? Or was Marisa possessed by some sort of psychedelic mind reader?
[Name] would never know⌠and she reckons Karasu was never gonna talk about it either. She knows that look, when his eyes stare so far into the distance she begins to wonder if he was seeing a portal to another universe open before his eyes, letâs not talk about it.
"Oh... uhmm,â she starts; racking her brain for an appropriate response that wasnât Hell yes! or Woo hoo! because that was not appropriate in the least. âThat's rough buddy." She awkwardly pats his back, only this time, she had no melted, half-eaten popsicle to offer him. Only a heart, battered and bruised, covered in bandages and held together by a thread⌠that will only ever be his.
"Ya know, I thought Iâd be more upset about it." Karasu looks to the heavens, oddly vocal about what he feels.
Maybe it was morning dew refracted by the early morning rays. Maybe it was the autumn gale, ruffling the threads of his clothes. Maybe it was because of herâof [Name].
She looks at him with a raised brow, "And ya aren't?"
He smiles at her, one so gentle it could rival the clouds, replace the sun in warmth⌠dethrone Aphrodite from her position. âNo,â he whispers, âNo Iâm not.â
He takes it all in, the image of her in this light. Karasu traces the contours of her face, the dust of roses powdered on the hills of her cheeks, the shine of a thousand galaxies in the pools of her irises.
Karasu was never one to believe in magic, or the supernatural⌠he couldnât even consider himself an avid fan of the faerie folk.
But if somehow, somewhereâin this vast infiniteness, in the depths of the parallels, and the lullabies of the unknownâif there existed a figure for love, he was sure that it would be her.
"Maybe it's cuz I never liked her enough to begin with."
His confession slipped past his lips in a low murmur, faint enough that it could pass as a song of the fall, but she heard it. Always. Because what else could explain the reason that [Name] had suddenly started choking on her spit.
"Oi! Ya alright? Hey! [Name]! Don't die!" Karasu panics.
"Whaddaya mean ya don't like her?!â She screams, shoulders heaving from the sudden strain on her lungs. âWhat's all that work for then? Didya lie to me? Karasu Tabitoâ"
Her tone sent shivers crawling through his spine. "Woah,â he raises his arms in surrender. âDon't go drawin' the full name card on me [Name]." he tries to laugh it off, but the look in her unimpressed eyes told him that he needed to say something else.
"I did get somethin' out of yer hard work," he smiles.
"Which is?" [Name] nods in anticipation, leaning closer.
"Realizin' I don't like her anymore."
[Name] draws a deep breath, releasing it in an exaggerated huff of air, and without another word, continued to walk to school.
This was hopeless.
She walked in front of him. One, because she didnât want to look at his face at the moment. And two, so that he wonât be a witness to her burning cheeks and her desperately suppressed smile. Yeah, no way in hell was she letting him see that!
"Told ya about it remember?" he calls from behind, a good four to five steps apart.
"I can barely remember what I ate yesterday, ya gotta be more specific."
Karasu stares at the back of her head, a view heâd seen for at least half his life already. "That day⌠by the seaside."
[Name] remained wordless; she remembers that vividly. Because how could she ever bring herself to forget?
The day that sheâŚ
"Ya have the memory of a goldfish," Karasu groans, every bit the telenovela star he was. "I told ya, gettingâ love ain't everythin' in this world."
âŚbegan to like this guy.
"Oh." She whispers.
"Remember now?"
That memory had always been something she treasured, never an ephemeral wandering like a half-buried shell washed ashore.
[Name] looks to him from over her shoulder as she nods in confirmation. "What's that gotta do with this though?" She continues ever forward, eyes once more trailing to focus on the pavement before her.
Karasuâs answer got stuck in the tunnels of his throat, like his own brain was unsure of the reason why he brought it up in the first place. He just wanted to talk to her, to hear her voice echo for all eternity in the caves of his soul, even long after heâs left this world. "Losin' an ordinary girl ain't worth it to be upset over."
[Name]âs footsteps falters, the edge of her shoe getting caught by a crack appearing out of nowhere, much like her own traitorous heart, once again caught in the snares of his words. The words someone spoke to her long ago echoing in her head, you two are finally reaching the age of maturity. Finallyâafter so, so longâbrave enough to let go of the things that werenât meant to stay, and to be strong enough to accept those who were supposed to.
"Woah," this time, [Name] turned to face him with a skin-crawling grin, an all too familiar shape, he thinks.
"Who ever knew a day would come when Karasu Tabito calls his lifelong love an ordinary girlâ"
"She wasn't a lifelong love!"
---
It took a long time for Karasu to gather the dust and form the courage to profess his love for [Name].
He was cocky, and overconfident, and rough and ragged around the edges, and disliked it when anything went wrong. Basically, he was his own enemy when it came to his own love life. Sure, people liked him enough to give him Valentineâs Day chocolates, but the issue lies in him, not his admirers. For the life of him, he could not be nice to anyone he saw as mundane or boring. He was anâin the nicest way possibleâKarasu Tabito was an asshole. His smirk didnât help his case one bit.
Oh, but how humbling an experience it is for him when she was the one standing before him. The great, Iâm-gonna-make-you-see-yer-ordinary Karasu Tabito who stared down his opponents on the field, was afraid to tell his best friend that he liked her.
Thatâs why he had dragged his feelings by the collar all the way to their second year of high school. His sister had more than a few not-so-nice things to say about him when she heard that up until now, he was still shaking in his elementary school boy shorts.
But could they blame him? Yeah, they really could. Even his parents looked at him weirdly when he always offered to wash the dishes at night because it gave him the excuse to see [Name] from the comforts of her living room.
Still, here he wasâbeating around the bush with the girl he likes.
But could they really blame him? This was [Name]! The one who could brawl in a gang fight barehanded and win. [Name] who had the nicest laugh and the warmest touch. It was [Name] whom he liked⌠[Name] who was dyed in all the colors of the sun.
And he was scared to lose her.
Karasu didnât want to mess this up because not only will he lose her as a lover, but heâd also be left to live in a world where he was no longer her best friend.
What if he did confess and she turns him down?
What then?
In his eyes, compared to herâ[Name] who was everything in his worldâto [Name] who had the nicest smile, and the happiest laugh, Karasu felt mundane in all the aspects of his life.
So sometimes, when his own emotions overwhelm him as he gets so lost just thinking about her in the silence of the night, he tells himself that maybe, it was fine like this.
Tabito and [Name]; [Name] and tabito. Best friends.
Maybe, he should just shut them in, keep it all inside and wait for it to go away, pray for it to go away. He was having loads of fun already. They were together all the time. Maybe... just maybe... it's fine like this. Maybe staying as childhood friendsâas best friends foreverâisn't so bad.
"Why're ya dressed like an old man?" [Name] raised a brow at him, lips twitching as she fought tooth and nail to swallow her laugh. Her eyes analyze his get-up from head to toe, taking in his fake white beard down to his green yukata and his grey haori, and the geta on his feet that echoed with every exaggerated step; wooden footwear she saw inside her grandpa's shoe cabinet. He was hunched over like a shrimp, with a cane to support his weight.
"'S for the class!" he replies with enthusiasm, stroking his fake white beard like some wise old monk.
"Ya look like a senile old man." [Name] snorts, her restraint shattering at the angry look on his face as her laugh resonates in the crowded hallway. She adjusts her grip on the box of props, shoulders shaking from the little giggles that seeped from her lips.
Karasu cracked an eye open to glare at her, and with an added pizzazz, rose in hand to counterâmore like agreeâwith her. "I am a senile old man!"
[Name] laughed harder, the box rattling like the happiness that rippled the once-serene calmness of her soul. "Ya sound just like gramps!" She breathes, wiping her eye on the cloth of her shoulder.
Karasu grumbles in defeat, knowing he couldn't win against [Name] and her oh-so-creative teasing.
He dropped the act and adjusted his posture to stand to his full height, ultimately noting that [Name] had stopped laughing once she realizes that in height, Karasu would always have the last laugh. Or in this case, a triumphant smirk on his face as he eyes her from above, not even craning his head.
She squints her eyes at him. âDamn evolution,â she mutters under her breath and made sure her voice was loud and clear as she finishes her sentence withâ âSince when did idiots grow to be so tall?!â
[Name] hmphed, turning her head to look away and sidestepped to get past him to move onward to her destination, but before she could, Karasu shifted to block her path.
"What is it nowâ" The words got lodged in the tunnels of her throat as the weight of the box sheâs been carrying since the school gate suddenly disappeared from her arms.
She looked at him, startled to find him looking at anywhere but her. The autumn daylight made the crimson on his cheeks all the more prominent.
Karasu couldnât bring himself to believe that he could ever be happy with being just her friend. He reckons he never will. It would kill him not to love her beyond all this. If there ever existed a universe where he was contented with thatâhe was damn sure it would not be this one.
Because he as much as he was cocky, and overconfident, and an asshole. Karasu was greedy. And he was selfish. And painfully stubborn.
"Just helpin' the pretty girl lift the heavy boxes."
[Name]âs face erupted into a thousand shades of red, but this time, she had nothing to use to hide it from him. He caught her by surprise. A dirty trick. Ambushed her to thisâthis⌠vulnerable position. She could feel fire spread through her veins like lava, setting all in its wake into a melting heat, burning at the thorns of her restraint, drowning the caves of her hesitance to a resounding calm, and lighting the heavens of her soul into all the colors of the sun.
She hated this. Stupid Tabito. Before she could contain herself, her embarrassment took reign of her actions, her knee jerked up, landing a solid kick to the back of his thighs.
"Ow!" He yelps, did Karasu ever mention that her kicks were heavy? Well, they were. The force of her assault had him fumbling over his own steps, but he could not stop the growing smile on his face.
"Get goin' old man!" she snaps, crossing her arms and glaring at all the things around them. She was flustered. Her body couldnât decide if she liked it or hated it. Why does he find the need to say that? Why does Karasu have to be soâso⌠embarrassing?
[Name] buries her face in the palm of her hands, as if her own flaming limb could help cool the raging inferno on her face. Her mind replays his words like a broken record. Pretty girl. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Did he even mean that? Probably. That stupid crow always pushed her so far, teased her to no end. So, what was the difference this time?
Karasu laughs, a sound so cool and warm, the sting from his best friendâs kick fading to a dull echo. His gaze was made from the softest threads, one so intertwined with the melody of affection, blanketed with the warmest colors.
âŚMaybe itâs because this time around, he actually means it.
And this time, he wasnât afraid to say it to her.
This one will probably come around to bite him back, but he would take it. Anything the world throws at himâhe would take it. Because he wouldnât allow himself to see another sun if [Name] didnât go to sleep not knowing that sheâs pretty.
---
The day of the school's culture festival rolled around.
For the past three weeks, their class united on the single idea of setting up a little cafĂŠ. By some miracle, they actually pulled it off quite well, despite battling the initial deadline, heavily handicapped at the loss of their two athletes. Between Karasuâs rigorous training schedule and [Name]âs tyrant of a coach monopolizing every spare second of her time for practice, there was no way they were ever going to contribute much beyond the bare minimum.
But [Name] did not want to be dead weight.
She volunteered to carry the boxes containing the ingredients and decorations, carrying them across campus like a one-woman moving company. While Karasu was left with no other option but to dress up like an old man inviting people to come and buyâhe would probably garner more attention if he stayed just the way he is, but with his sharp tongue and domineering stare, he would just scare all their customers away (not like a beard and a yukata could hold his words back).
By the time the sun had reached the middle of the sky, they already looked like they wanted to go homeâboth completely floored from the physical work.
[Name] sat crisscross apple sauce outside the classroom, her back against the wall, and Karasu plopped down beside her, stretching his legs out with a groanâno respect for anyone walking by, his legs were nearly occupying a quarter of the hallway!
Their lunches were as mismatched as their personalities: [Name] poked at the pasta littered with raisins while Karasu grimaced at the sight of mushrooms contaminating his bento.
He knew he should be thankful to his sister who had oh-so-kindly offered to make them lunch seeing as she was on break from college, but Tabito has already told her like a million times! He doesnât like mushrooms, [Name] does. And [Name] didnât like raisins, he did!
Without a word, he begins plucking the raisins out of her food like they were newly ripe fruits ready to sell, dumping them on the lid of his bento. In honor of distributive justice, he traded in all the mushrooms he had on his lunch to hers.
"Yer actin' weird," she mutters through a mouthful of pasta, eyeing him from where she sat.
"Whatcha talkin' 'bout, I've always been this kind." He retorts, smiling to convey his sincerity as he places a hand over his heart like it could vouch for his claims.
"Kind-a suspicious ya mean!" [Name] squints at him, pointing a stick of bread at his face. "Just say whatcha wanna say already!"
"Yer ovethinkin' it! I'm always like this!" he defended, not bothering to hide the way he eyes [Name]âs stick of bread.
If he were to justâŚ
"Hey, Tabi-chan...â her call drew the curtains close to his evil scheme. âWhat would you do if I got a boyfriend?"
Her question silenced the chaos in his head, pulling apart at all the worlds he built until everything came to a standstill. Until he was surrounded by the never-ending nothingness that came with the weight of her question. Heavier than all the stars, so it seems. Why was she saying this? Why now? Why does it have to be now? Now that he was finallyâ
But she didnât wait for an answer. Maybe he was perturbed by his silence, mistaking it for agreement. Yet the truth was that she just caught him off guard.
Like [Name]⌠he didnât hold all the answers in the world.
"I probably wouldn't, huh?" she laughs, smiling despite the obvious squeeze in her throat. A jest, in the kindest words; hurt, in the worst. "No one's ever gonna want a brute like me."
That's not true, Karasu wanted to protest. What she spoke of couldn't have been farther from the truth.
He didnât want her to think like thatâshe just couldnât. She was someone who deserved the love she wanted to have⌠more than anyone else. And he wanted to say that to her. He wanted to tell her desperately that there was someone who loved herâhell, so many people loved her.
Every day, he raced against so many people for her affection, for a chance to feel what itâs like to be loved by someone like her.
"There's gotta be someone out there, right?" he offers. Or right here... if you can only look at me. "Someone who'll love you⌠just fer who ya are."
"Ya really believe in that?" she asked, laughing again, but this time it sounded more like an escape. She wraps the furoshiki on the bento box, her hands moving far too quickly that Karasu knew she was doing it just so she wouldnât have to look at him.
But that didnât matter. She could turn a blind eye to him today. He would wait. Ignore his attempts tomorrowâhe would still wait. Stay oblivious to it for the next five years? Then heâll just have to step up his game.
"I know it."
There was something about the way he said it, shacked by all the chains of his beliefs, as though there could exist no surer thing than what he knew right at this very moment.
It took her by surprise, stole all the breath reserved in her lungs that she forgot that she needed to breathe to see the next day.
âYa donât even need to wish fer that,â he adds, voice steadied by the foundation of his own experiences. âThey come naturally,â he continues.
In all the forms you can think of. A piece of paper with the things about yer crush. A soccer ball. The kicking pad almost takinâ yer head off. Or a melting, half-eaten popsicle on a summer day.
âSometimes⌠ya never realize ya had them all along.â
[Name] formed her courage from the dust, turning to look at him, despite every pull of gravity telling her not to.
He was never gonna make forgetting him easy, was he? Perhaps he never wanted her to forget. Because how could she when Karasu says all these things that made her heart want to run out of her own chest? When he says all these that it leads her back to her planet-sized crush on him. How was she supposed to get away from him now? How was she supposed to move on? How was she going to ever fully deny that she didn't like him anymore when in everything, everywhere... all the roads lead straight back to him?
âAnd ya donât need to wish for him to love youâŚâ
Karasu smiles at her, one so different from all the others he ever gave her. Dyed in all the colors of gratitude, blessed by the heavens, shaded in all the colors of the sun.
âBecause he already does.â
---
"Why'd we hafta go, Tabi-chan?" [Name] whines, tired from all the walking they had been doing for the last thirty minutes, now tired from all the hikingâseriously, who hikes in the evening?
"Whaddaya mean why?â Karasu shot back, raising a questioning brow at her complaint. âWe always go every year! And don't act like ya don't like it when yer all dressed up." he points to her yukata, dyed in the shade of violets, decorated with the flowing river in the form of cranes. Karasu had to leash his head and make a conscious effort not to look too much lest he risk getting reported for being a creep.
"Only cuz Ma made me,â she admits, tugging slightly at her obi. âAlways naggin' 'bout actin' like a girl and lookin' like a girl as if I ain't a girl." She huffs, the corners of her lips weaving into a scowl.
Karasu tilted his head in fond gentleness. âYou look beautiful,â he whispers, the sentiment flowing past his lips like the gentle spring breeze. âYer always beautiful.â
His words crashed against her like a tidal wave: caressing the soles of her feet, drawing back, before coming at her all at onceâwith little to no warning at all.
[Name] tilts her head to the side to look at him, smiling at him with all the happiness in the universe. âYa don't look too shabby yerself, Tabito."
Before he could fire back, Karasu caught a glimpse of sparks tracing the obsidian sky, rising to reach the heavens for it to fracture into a thousand colorful fires, dyeing the obsidian canvas with all the colors of man.
Yet he already saw something far more grandeur than those when he looked into the pools of her eyesâreflecting all the stardust and galaxies as if everything existed just so they could dim when compared to her, like it all came to being, just so they could fall short when she breathes.
"They're so pretty..." she whispers in awe, smiling at the sight of the transient lights.
"Yeah," he hums mindlessly, but his eyes never left hers. You are beautiful.
"I like you, [Name]." Karasuâs words silenced the chaos of the world, as if everything spiralled into nothingness to create a space only the two of them shared.
[Name] stares at him in bewilderment, her lips parted slightly, not knowing what to say.
"Don't look so surprised,â Karasu berates her with a crooked grin. âWhatcha expect? I'm only human, ya know. Ain't immune to yer charms."
"Tabito what the hellâ"
Her vision burst forth into multitudes of colors at the sight of him, red-faced, flustered beyond her wildest imagination, eyes that shone with all the bravery and strength in the world, still his voice is riddled with a careful gentlenessâlike if he spoke any louder, this ephemeral space would crumble and heâd find himself back to reality. But his words would resound in the depths and skies of her soul for all the eternities to come, until all the stars are nothing but a dream. Until the earth is painted with all the colors of the sun.
"I'm in love with you," he confesses, his hand reaching for hers. Shaking from his nerves, determined in his affection.
His eyes searched hers for traces of disdain, any hints that she didnât want this. Karasu dug through the colors of her face for anythingâanything that told him to go away, to never show his face to her ever again.
"And I have been for a long time."
His touch lingered, hesitant to take another step forward.
"I know I'm nothin' much.â He admits, pained at the thought of his own imperfections. âI get jealous easily, and I can't be nice to mediocre people. I can't swim, and I'm afraid of water. I'm prolly the last person ya'd ever want to love ya but..." he falters, his breaths coming in short intakes as he scavenged the lands of his soul for the right words to sayâfor the courage he had stacked upon one another.
âI donâtââ His voice cracks, holding her hand tightly as if her touch could piece back his crumbling confidence. âI want ya to be happy. God knows that I do. But I don't want to lose ya to anyone else.â But it seems like her warmth could not hold together his voice that shattered from the weight. âIâm selfish. And Iâm greedy. If you still have space in yer heart for a little bit more of me, even if the odds are one to a million... then I'd want to have it.â
I'd risk everything to have it.
Karasu looked at her again, mapping the face of the one he loves, breathing heavily until he found the words he always wanted to say. "Yer beautiful. Yer smart, and strong. Anyone would be lucky to have ya love 'em."
He smiled weakly, voice softening to melt into the silence of the night.
"And... I'm just an ordinary guy, standin' in front of the most amazing girl... askinâ her to love him."
He could wait a thousand more years if she told him to. Capture every star in the sky if it makes her happy. Karasu would move the universe for her, and she would only ever need to ask.
He would color the world to her liking if she tells him to.
âYer an idiot areântcha?â
Karasu raised his head to meet the sound of her voice. God, she was so beautiful.
âI guess I am,â he laughs.
âGood on ya that I like idiots.â She tightens her hold on his hand, smiling at him for all that he did and more.
Because people canât love you exactly the way you want them to.Â
You just have to let them try to do their best.
I think I got sidetracked halfway tbh đthis is my first time writing a non-tragedy paleontological disaster-ending fic also my first time writing for karasu because he wouldn't leave me alone đ I can't believe I managed to give birth to a fic in under four??? yeah four days. I think I began liking this guy like five days ago for some unknown reason đ anyway, my requests are still open, and ya can read my other works here! thanks fer readin' đâ¤
#chiya's head rent đ#ao3#bllk#blue lock#blue lock fluff#blue lock x reader#karasu tabito#karasu x reader#karasu tabito x reader#karasu x you#karasu blue lock#karasu this karasu that I am going crazy like seriously wtf is happening to me??????!!!!!!!#denial of feelings because who in their right minds would ever admit that they had fallen for their bestfriends#and it's funny lol I had too much fun with this#isagi yoichi#otoya eita#yukimiya kenyu#hiori yo#bachira meguru#chigiri hyoma#i'm going insane đ
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fanquill and athena
#fanquill#athena cykes#uendo toneido#simon blackquill#ace attorney#uendo toneido x simon blackquill#my art#fanart#am i crazy or did tumblr desaturate this wtf. tumblr im gonna Get You
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: ĚĚâ Straight to the point.
In which he's still human.
Summary: Everyone has something in the back of their mind, something that terrifies them to the core, something that keeps them up at night. Sebastian is no different. Luckily for him, he already has someone to hold him and reassure him.
Notes: Established Relationships, Reader is gender neutral, Sebastian's Backstory Spoilers (not really),He is not a fish yet, wrote this at 4 am, unhealthy amount of fluff, idk what im doing, Sebastian is a menace, this is a literal word vomit. Enjoy ..!
The squeaky creak of the wooden bed and the slight shifting next to you jolts you awake, eyes opening to cautiously wander around the room in search of anything, or anyone. You almost close your eyes and go back to sleep at the reassurance that nothing was there, before the sound of the hitched breathing next to you forces you to open your eyes again. You turn to your side, arms subconsciously reaching out for the one laying right next to you. To your surprise, you find him awake already, his softened gaze seemingly on anything but you. You can't see too well in the darkness, but one look at his troubled expression is enough for you to know whats going on. You reach out your hand, slowly placing it on top of his as to not startle him. The moment he registers the slightest touch of your hand against him, his eyes move back on yours. He furrows his eyebrows, huffing slightly.
"...Did I wake you?" He asks, his voice coming off as nothing more than a mere whisper. For the time that you've known Sebastian, you've come to realize that he is never one to outright trouble anyone with his struggles, that includes you. If you want to know anything, you have to fish it out of him. And so you do. You gently squeeze his hand in a comforting manner. "Not really." You respond quietly, inching a bit closer to take a better look at him. "Can't sleep?" You whisper, the close proximity and the way you feel his cold breath sending a slight shiver down your spine. He stays silent, averting his eyes from you. Now, you know all too well what's bothering him.
Your lover has a tendency to often deprive himself of sleep, that resulting in him staying up and contemplating each and every fear he has ever grown to have until he's sure he has suffered himself enough. This, of course, pains you to see. You're well aware you can't undo past traumas, or.. what is yet to come, for that matter. So, for now, you settle for comforting him. You let go of his hand and lean in, arms wrapping around him as you pull him closer. He tenses slightly, before giving in to your touch. As you run your fingers through his hair, he quietly exhales and buries his face into your neck, a hand finding it's way to your waist. He moves his fingers up and down, tracing random shapes on your skin rather anxiously. You're both silent. You, lost in idea of him and him, lost in the idea of losing you. He slightly tenses up again, his hold on you tightening a bit and a hitched breath escaping him. You can tell he has his own thoughts that he runs away from, his fears that keep him up at night and nightmares that he fears for his life. He clutches onto your shirt, the idea of him ever losing you, losing this, losing everything leaves him shivering like he is now. You slowly start to feel something wet against your skin, his tears staining your shirt as he holds onto you for dear life. Needless to say, you're overwhelmed too.
The Sebastian you've learned to love is constantly hiding behind an act of nonchalance and sarcasm, and only now you realize how vulnerable he really is behind all of that. You can only hold him, listen to the sound of his muffled yet soundless sobs against you and whisper sweet nothings. "I'm not going anywhere." You tell him, fingers combing through his hair as your other hand slowly moves up and down on his back, in an attempt to comfort him. He hides his face into your neck even more, in an attempt to muffle his last sobs. Your tender touches, your oh so sweet promises that you'd never leave and your mere presence soothe him like he needs. You're both silent for a bit, neither of you daring to disturb the comfortable silence. He eventually leans back, slightly wet blue-ish green eyes staring into your eyes.
You can tell he is mildly embarrassed, all his attempts at keeping you from witnessing such vulnerable side of him now all wasted and for nothing. And so, he does what he always does. He moves his hands to his face, covering his face with both hands as his shoulder's slightly shake again, because of laughter, this time. The sound of his chuckles disturbs the nights silence. You'd be confused, had it not been for the fact that you're all too familiar with how he tries to laugh his way out of any awkward situation. He finally moves his hands away, his eyes still slightly wet. "You're... such an idiot for dealing with my bullshit. Honestly.." He says, letting out a bitter chuckle. You smile, cupping his face with one hand, your thumb gently carressing his face. "I am.. your idiot, afterall." You whisper, your finger moving to gently wipe away one last tear on his face. He only gazes at you, a gaze that holds the countless words he's been meaning to say. You move your finger, slowly tracing his features, and it moves to the scar in the middle of the face.
The way your finger tenderly brushes against his skin.. He sighs, his hand moving to catch your wrist and guide it out of his face, though he never lets go. He leans in, back to where he was sobbing not too long ago. He pulls you closer, a hand resting on your hip. He nuzzles comfortably into your shoulder, and this time, he presses a slight, delicate kiss on your skin. "I... love you, idiot." He mutters, quietly enough for only you to hear, and no one else. You're the last thing on his mind before he finally passes out, safe and sound in your embrace.
#sebastian solace x reader#sebastian solace#roblox pressure#sebastian pressure#Pressure#Wrote this at 4 am#Im so crazy#sebastian my beloved#Why did i write for a literal FISH#Like wtf#I love him sm#X reader
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so uh. wild quest huh.
#genshin impact#my art#genshin impact spoilers#genshin spoilers#genshin 4.2 spoilers#4.2 archon quest spoilers#fontaine spoilers#4.2 spoilers#okay i put every spoiler tag i could think of hopefully that will keep ppl safe#anyways! WTF#INSANE HOLY SHIT#FOCALORS??? OH MY GOD#that was Crazy#not sure how it ranks for me yet but#i am happy to finally see more lore-heavy themes are characters coming up in the archon quests#easily one of the best quests ever
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeeeđ˘đ˘đ˘#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic đBRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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Thinking about how Pomme is q!Antoines only child. Baghera has Dapper and Tilin, Etoiles has Dapper and Pepito, Aypierre has Richas, Bad has Dapper, but Pomme is his. He's a half crazed past scientist and possible god but he is also a father to one child and one alone. That is how much space in is his heart. And what experiments did he even do? Why does the Federation consider them a failure? Was it his "failed" research that was an overture for the eggs? What about Baghera? Was she created before or after his work? Did he know? And what about Aypierre? They were watching Pierre for years, did he know then? How long has this gone on? How long does the betrayal backlog? How long has Pomme been an only child? In the Watchful Scribes library at The End of The World there is no place for her.
(this post is brought to you by this clip that still drives me crazy to this day.)
#sorry just thinking about how robbed we were#âgive it back pommeâ q!antoine i am going to hunt you for sport#i miss the french family these guys were so crazy#like wtf do you mean Antoine was a main scientist in the Fed and when pierre was having âstrange dreamsâ#Antoine is the one he went to#I need one last livestream with Baghera and Antoine so she can guess the plot perfectly like she did that one time#when she said maybe there was something in the nether the feds were trying to control and antoine got really tense suddenly#call him out queen#him calling aypierre a âA true wily old foxâ BRO WHAT#qsmp#q!pomme#q!antoine#q!aypierre#q!baghera
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guess who he's looking at.
#charles.#Charles.#CHARLES#CHARLES LECLERC#CHARLES MARC HERVE PERCEVAL LECLERC#what is this behavior#THOSE EYES#WTF#i am going insane now wtfff#carlos sainz#charles leclerc#f1#charlos#ferrari#c²#ferrari boys#1655#Y'ALL ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY
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"happy birthday, bluejay."
2k words ; tsari fanfic
"gAH!" tari yelped as she lost her grip on the wooden plates nailed to the tree. fear of adrenaline rushed inside her veins, glancing a peek below her, acknowledging the height and distance above from the ground. she didn't have a fear of heights, yet it still was an alarming issue to imagine in her mind what could happen if she were to fall.
"w-wOaH! bj, grab my hand!" tsb directed extending his arm out, using his stretchable ability to allow tari a more secure reach. "come on!" he exclaimed, assisting her up until she was finally standing on the wooden surface base marked on their destination. "heh, trying to fall again now are we?" the man chuckled in hopes of lightening the mood, referencing an inside-joke recall based on their first meeting, "but on your birthday? what kind of a crazy bird are you!"
tari giggled, relief dominating over her after finally arriving at the top of tsb's home. "i'm not used to climbing up!" she began, taking a break to catch her breath, "why'd you have to live up so high? it's challenging to come to visit you!" the bluejay spoke glancing her eyes to take in the view as she recovered. she could see the showgrounds perfectly where she stood, watching her friends play in the grass field, and even a clear view of smg3's coffee and bombs. it was just a marvelous view, pondering why she hadn't thought to come here more often. with the wind brushing onto her face, and the shade provided by the tree's leaves to guard from the sun it was evermore peaceful and quiet. her worries gone within an instant, it was relaxing to say.
"then i suppose you'll have to come by more often to see silly o'l me, huh?" tsb responded, opening the entrance door for tari to enter. "birthday girl first~" tsb flirted, forming an exaggerated body gesture for her to enter in. tari shyly smiled and nodded, making her way inside the blue and yellow man's humble abode.
as if it was her first, tari couldn't ever grasp how peculiar and unique tsb's home was structured. the outer appearance appearing as a regular small treehouse built from wood and nails. yet the interior, god the interior was like an entirely whole other world. seemingly cartoonishly larger, covered in bright light blue walls, white clouds painted onto them. additionally, small rainbows scattered around. a giant painted sun on the ceiling, accompanied by multiple small paper-shaped stars assisted with tape dangled down from right above. high enough where her standing wouldn't bother it, but not so high where you couldn't acknowledge them. the area was furniture filled with shelves of unused big and small canvases, all sorts of art materials neatly placed and organized, with the man's silly personality of individually colored beanbags to sit on, and nets filled with all kinds of plushies and toys. it felt like a dream house for an art child really. dried used paint splattered about here and there on the walls and floor adding color to the bright white room.
"still breathtaking for you, birdy? i thought it would still be boring even doing some minor edits here and there." tsb scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment noticing tari's positive expressive expression as she glanced the place up and down, side to side.
"are you kidding? how could i not be? any normal person would find this breathtaking! your place is an absolute dream house, tsb! it's bright, cozy, colorful, and a playground of endless creative creation! i can't get over how you can manage to create this all yourself! very impressive!" tari exclaimed, as her smile stretched up to her cheeks, really absorbing and giving a twirl around the space. excitement fueled her as he bounced about exploring the other familiar areas and all of its satisfying gleam of bright colors. it felt like she truly was up in the clouds or a figment of what she felt was a physical imagination of heaven.
tsb could only watch and giggle from the side. his heart was pounding in glee seeing the bluejay prance about in joy, admiring the work of art he's created for himself to call home. he felt an over beamed of satisfied joy he endlessly craved being appreciated. especially from her. a compliment from anyone would've still been appreciated of course, yet hearing those words coming from her felt like he could die at any moment. and he wouldn't mind.
after some time of tari exploring the area admiring all the nooks and crannies of tsb's dream-like treehouse, tsb finally directed tari to his bedroom. a place he... coming to the realization he had never shown her before up until now. the first time smg4 interrupted them cutting their time short, and other visits were with other guests visiting to do arts and crafts or play board games. yet this was the first since her first visit it was just the two of them. tsb grew nervously anxious as he tiled the sun-shaped knob of his door, allowing entry to the girl he admired most. it was just his room and he truthfully had nothing to hide, yet it was still nerve-racking for him, pondering about her opinion.
"t-this is my room-" before tsb could even continue to create a proper introductory description, tari jolted up in joy, squealing in glee rushing inside to admire the new room, eager to explore. it had the same vibe and aesthetic as the main entrance room, the entire treehouse quite frankly, yet this room specifically was more in the theme of tsb's main colors. yellow and blue! additionally, instead of the walls being painted or scattered with paint, they were filled with drawings drawn on paper of different mediums taped onto the wall.
entering the room revealed tsb's bed, filled with drawings of rainbows and clouds above as seen the theme all over the place. the bed is cuffed below of soft felted cloud-shape border with a uniquely colored placed rainbow for a bed frame. to the right side of the wall was a large window viewing of the sky, and next to it a tall dresser. accompanied by the wall where the door was placed, was filled with drawings she could recognize were drawn from her friends. boopkins, luigi, heck even some dumb doodles from smg3 she recalled tsb telling the tale of them hanging out one night.
the last wall to the left side of the room erupted with colors of different shades of green and brown. taken aback coming to the realization tsb's home lacked the color green almost entirely, let alone any color of brown other than the "disguise" from the exterior. illustrations of trees, squirrels, and small rodents, and what she could make out looked like a television. causing a shiver down her spine being reminded of mr. puzzles, yet these looked nothing like him. furthermore, they looked the same tv of a design with a nice chestnut brown with a cyan-like blue screen. some with hearts, some crossed out even wrinkled, and others... tari stared at it in confusion. she assumed it was an interesting relation due to tsb heavy interest in cartoon shows, he would watch several frequently with mario. however, something inside her told her it meant something else. as if it linked to-
"soooo what do you think, bluejay?" tsb queried, interrupting tari's thoughts. to the bluejay's surprise, he was resting on his bed in a crisscross position with his hands questionably behind his back slightly awkwardly.
"oh! i-it's awesome!" she quickly responded, trying to rid herself pondering over the mystery of this "tv". "i don't recall you ever showing me your room before. what gives! trying to hide more secrets?" she confidently spoke back, removing any possible suspicion. taking a seat next the the cartoony man.
"noo, of course not! just something i suppose i hadn't had the time to show you till now." tari rolled her eyes playfully trying to seem hurtful by his response. tsb giggled.
suddenly, he began to clear his throat, straightening his back, and shifting closer to tari with a slight struggle refusing to use his hands for support. however, fear rose inside as he wondered if he was too close to the bluejay, but she didn't seem bothered and instead mimicked his actions. receiving another giggle from the man feeling his face grow hot. "i uh," tsb began, "i have a gift for you! um..." tsb slowly unhidden his hands to reveal a bird-like figure in his palms. tari began to decipher it being a hand-crafted bluejay figure with a neatly small bowtie around its neck. yet she was utterly confused and speechless, it allowed tsb to continue his monologue. "i'm... not very good at making something supposedly grand like parties or cakes, for someone's orbit around the sun, but i do like handcrafting things for people i... um... admire most." tsb confident outward speech turned to stutters and quiet speech seemingly looking down as he could feel his hands sweat under his golden gloves. "i hope you like this gift-"
"of course i do!~" tari finally bursted into squeals having her hands turn to fists positioned up to her face in an attempt to hide her overly joyous smile. shifting her position to admire the beautifully hand-crafted bluejay more up-close. "it's so cute!~" she squealed once more feeling like she could feel herself almost cry from overstimulated happiness. "how did you use to make it?" she queried swiftly, staring at tsb's shades, eyes wide with sparks of adoration.
tsb only stuttered to find the words, his face growing hotter by the second hearing the beats of his pounding heart inside his ears. "i-i used cardboard to create the base of the shape... and um gluing layers of newspaper to give some texture... a-after painting it with acrylic- nO gouache a-a-and reusing some old thick ribbon i had in my scrapes to gave it a bow!" swiftly adding in the end, "y-you know! because it's a gift! cause it you're birthday! a-and purple to match your eyes! b-because your eyes are purple! oH and this is a bluejay, not a duck i-i-i-im not sure if that was obvious um-"
"it's perfect.~" tari softly interjected, cupping tsb's hands and lowering them down from their chests. "it's adorable of you think of me like that. i've never received a gift like this before... it exactly represents me and considering the thoughts you had i seriously appreciate the effort you put in. it's," tari couldn't help but giggle.
before tsb could muster to search for words to say thank you, tari kissed tsb on the cheek. "it's really cute. thank you.~" shots of physical cloud of air flew out of tsb's ears, face even red than the color red itself, stunned and completely flustered he sat there frozen. tari once again giggled seeing the clouds of smoke coming out of their ears like a real-life cartoon, yearning to see what more of a reaction she can get. she was always fascinated by tsb's strange cartoonish nature she just simply adored him more and more. nothing about him could ever bore her.Â
just if by instinct, she removed her hands from tsb and reached out to remove tsb shades. settling it down by the bed, gazing admirably into his brown eyes as they were shifting animatedly to pink hearts back and forth. "t-tari-" tsb started, but was unfortunately cut off by someone outside. turning his eyes into pupils with red outlines from surprise.
"tari!" a familiar voice called, "TARI!" smg4 called again louder.
"smg4 must have the party essentials ready. we should go till he gets impatient hehe!" tari stood up from the bed grabbing the bluejay gift with one hand while the other grabs for the cartoon man's glove.Â
"y-yeah..." he replied, still stunned by what happened. eventually after a soft tug from tari, he regained his senses and threw back his shades on. springing off the bed and following tari out of his room.Â
"you think there'll be cake left after mario gets to it first?" tsb asked.
tari chuckled, "i doubt it."Â
END
#tsb#tsb fanfic#tsari#smg4#smg4 oc#smg4 tari#smg4 fanfic#fanfic#oc fanfic#have fun reading hehehe#would ya'll believe me if i said this took me like 3-4 hrs#i need to be stopped why did i make this god i love tari too much i just had to UGHHHHHHHOURIDSXEODGISHVJ#would ya'll go crazy if i said this wasn't canon LMAO /j#i rarely write but the urge was too strong#this honestly is a semi-big lore dump bc i cant really draw right rn ish aaaaaa#i got first day of school tomorrow wtf am i doing-#tsb official
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what if todds family rejected him bc they knew he was gay..
#dead poets society#jamroses#dps#todd anderson#:3#gay#wtf#actually#this makes sense right?#am i crazy
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A tape recorder.
A fucking tape recorder.
WHY DOES THE âVICTIMâ HAVE A GODDAMN TAPE RECORDER???
#tmagp 15#i am losing my marbles#also LADY MOWBRAY??#this episode was crazy wtf#tmagp#the magnus protocol
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at the end of the day paul mccartney is just some unhinged john girlie who waited 30 years to do a self insert song
#the beatles#now and then#mclennon#paul mccartney#john lennon#my post#iconic shit#what a man#i have a tag for this!#paul mccartney needs to calm the fuck down#i am so unhinged about this song and that means i cannot even begin to explain just how unhinged paul is about it#also (and this is the truly insane bit) it is not even actually self insert because of course it isn't#john was just as crazy about him like wtf#i hate them
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who gave this man blue eyes, take them back
#mumbo jumbo#mumbo fanart#jaxdart#i haven't posted art in literal years wtf am i even doing#I'm also over posting my art to side blogs#old era#first mcyt art i'm actually posting on here crazy#whatever i've always been bad at tagging lmao lowkey one of the reasons i stopped posting#i saw his blue eyes... i hated them... and then i had to draw them#he will haunt my dreams#been doing daily art again for 46 days now#did the same thing last fall and broke the streak sometime in january i think#hopefully planning to beat that number this year!
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what kind of sauce are they putting in the link click audio drama. HELLO? THE LITERAL LAST SCENE OF THE LAST EPISODE?
ç¨ĺ°ćś: 说辡ćĽďźć䝏珏ä¸ćŹĄč§é˘ďźäšćŻĺ¨çŻŽçĺşĺ§ă éĺ
: ćŻĺă ç¨ĺ°ćś: ä˝ ććŹć çźďźĺ
¨é ä¸é˘çă éĺ
: ćĺ°ąä¸čŻĽçĺşä˝ ćŻéŁĺşă
cheng xiaoshi: speaking of which, the first time we met was also on a basketball court, wasn't it? lu guang: it was. cheng xiaoshi: (half-jokingly) you and i weren't meant to be [lit. "originally have no fate"?]. this is all because of one basketball. lu guang: i really shouldn't have agreed to play that match.
(the important bits are from google translate because i am bad at mandarin. also i did transcribe this off just the audio + i don't have access to captions or know where to find official transcripts. so i hope i got this right đ)
#am i crazy for being insane about this exchange am i crazy. i think i might be crazy#i cant read lu guangs tone on that last bit of dialogue hes too deadpan all of the time so i cant tell if hes joking. but like. HELLO??????#actually i will try regardless. im of the opinion that he in fact was not joking. his tone of voice feels softer than when hes sarcastic#+ the 2 full seconds of pause before. still hes so deadpan usually that cheng xiaoshi probably just takes it as a joke#seagull.mp3#link click spoilers#this show is mean#i will in fact maintag this. its important#link click#cxs#lg#idk i have an insane crack theory that maybe lu guang wasn't actually intending to befriend cheng xiaoshi in this timeline (jumping off of#duck's insane crack theory that maybe the only way to save cheng xiaoshi is if lu guang never meets him) but cheng xiaoshi surprised him by#1) inviting him to join the game 2) saying all that stuff about passing the ball = trust. and wouldnt it be beautiful to have that sort of#partnership for life. in the sense that if the only way for cheng xiaoshi to be saved is to never meet lu guang then cheng xiaoshi cannot b#saved. because he will choose lu guang and their partnership in every timeline.#my source for this is vibes. and the stuff haolin was saying (?) about cheng xiaoshi already feeling some sort of connection to lu guang#during their âfirst meetingâ in this timeline.#anyway yeah. link clicker agents you should listen to the audio drama if you havent already its good !!#beyond the mandated once per episode âlu guang wtf are you up toâ moment the individual stories r also really really nice#and the trio shenanigans :]
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