#ALSO so many fandoms would hate me if they could see my saved urls

[lowkeyorloki]

on the edge of my seat for tomorrow's asis update but random question: how did you come up with your fanfic author name?

YAYYYYY I'm so glad you're anticipating it hehe

I've actually only been lowkeyorloki for just over a year. When I made my tumblr blog almost five (!!!!!) years ago, I was thelokiimaginechronicles. The pseud I made for ao3 was lowkeyorloki, and then I ended up switching my tumblr url to match (I'm lucky I managed to nab it in both places).

For thelokiimaginechronicles, I came up with it because I could not think of anything else. All the good urls that sounded like Loki were taken. On top of that, I wanted something that communicated I was an x reader blog. So lil 17 year old me thought, "well, I write Loki imagines... I *chronicle* that" and my handle was born.

For lowkeyorloki, I wanted something shorter and I was in a rush to make a pseud on ao3 so I could start posting my fic She Shall Have (tumblr is NOT a good medium for multichapters). I was just wanting to get naming the pseud out of the way and asked myself what rhymes with Loki. The only word I could come up with was lowkey, and I was okay with that because of Low-Key Lyesmith from Neil Gaimon's BANGER of a novel American Gods. But I'm picky and I didn't want the url/pseud to be "lowkeyloki" because I think it looks ugly and also Loki is not low key. You can either be low key OR Loki but you cannot be both if you're staying true to his character. Anyway all those circumstances combined and lowkeyorloki is just an amalgamation of those events. I also (obviously) ended up changing my tumblr url to match so people could find me on both platforms (sadly I cannot do the same for tiktok or twitter :( )!

Are you looking to make a Loki-themed url? Try going for shades of colors. I have a star wars blog + pseud on ao3 called viridescent-din. Viridescent means becoming green, so it's a reference to the importance of baby Grogu in Din's life. I literally googled "fancy words for green." I did the same with gold for you, so here are some possible Loki urls:

halcyonloki OR halcyon-loki

auriferous-loki OR auriferousloki

lokis-gilt OR lokisgilt

aurous-loki OR aurousloki

foollokisgold OR fool-lokis-gold

I have no idea if these are taken or not though!

Coming up with an author name is hard, so if that's what you're doing, good luck! You just have to play around with concepts or loose connections. That, and you have to be lucky. If you find a name you like (or use one of these!!! omg i want to know), let me know so I can see it - and read your content!!!!

[choicesficwriterscreations]

CFWC Writer of the Month Lovealexhunt (and more!)

Each month CFWC highlights one of the many talented fanfic writers in our community. The writer will be selected randomly based on the criteria listed in our FAQs.

This month, we randomly selected a winner from the writers who submitted a fic for the CFWC Blind Date/Valentine's Day event, and I'm very happy to announce the lucky winner, someone who does so much for this fandom! Everyone, please give it up for @lovealexhunt / @storyofmychoices / @theartoflovingthomashunt !!! Please enjoy getting to know more about her and her amazing works!

Blogs: @lovealexhunt, @theartoflovingthomashunt and@storyofmychoices Masterlist

More below break...

1- When did you start playing Choices? What's the first book you played?

It honestly feels like forever ago now… around early 2018. I’m pretty sure the first book I played was Rules of Engagement. I still love that book and think it is entirely underrated. Loved the sibling storyline and all three LIs were wonderful, though I love my bartender most of all (sorry Leo!!!) but the first book I fell in love with was Red Carpet Diaries (for reasons named Thomas Hunt 🙈😍).

2- When, and why, did you join Choices fandom?.

I was a lurker in the fandom for a while before officially joining in 2019. Prior to that, I had reblogged the occasional post here and there on my personal blog. It wasn’t until I wrote a couple of Thomas Hunt fics for myself that I joined and created my Thomas Hunt blog because I wanted to share them but was too self-conscious to post them on my personal blog.

3- How did you pick your url name?

TheartoflovingThomasHunt: because as my blog says “loving Thomas Hunt is an art form” lol (that idea popped in my head and I stuck with it).

LoveAlexHunt: When I created my Thomas blog I didn’t expect anyone to actually read my work or interact with me so it was attached to my personal main which meant I couldn’t reply to people without using my personal main, so I made this main and transferred the Thomas Blog to it. I didn’t know what to call it and I hate picking names. Since I was only writing for Thomas at the time and Alex is my LI for him, it seemed fitting for my main to reflect her. AlexHunt was taken so I decided on Love, Alex Hunt

StoryofmyChoices: I started this blog because I was afraid of getting hate (see q4) but the name came from the idea that the blog would be a more general Choices blog and be the Story of the Choices I made in the game and in the fandom.

4- Go back to your archive and tell us about the first post on your Choices blog.

theartofLovingThomasHunt: It was just an icon of Thomas that I made with the blog name

StoryofmyChoices: an “unpopular opinion” post admitting to actually liking Justin Mercado (Save the Date) and how I was so afraid of getting hate that I started a new blog. I figured if it got really bad, I could easily delete the blog and still have my Hunt ones. (I did get hate for several months but never actually left)

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

I wrote fanfiction as a child and through middle school when I was discouraged from writing it and was told by many people in my life how childish and ridiculous it is to write fan fiction, that I was too intelligent to waste my time on something like fan fiction, and basically just told to stop. So if you count Mary-Kate and Ashley detective fan fiction, then since I was 7 (I won’t tell you how long ago that was … but a good long while 🙈).

I gave writing fan fiction up for years, I only picked it back up because of Thomas Hunt. He inspired me to forget what anyone else had to say, to forget the opinions of others who may disagree with my choices, and just to create what I want and what I believe. So all of that to say 3 years give or take a decade (or two).

6- What is your favorite Choices book to write about?

Red Carpet Diaries! I think I’ve written like 200 stories for Thomas and Alex!

(But, I also really love writing Open Heart especially for Bryce and Olivia too)

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it or would you change anything about it?

Coffee Date:

I still really like it and I wouldn’t change a thing. If it weren’t for that fic, I’m not sure any of the others I’ve written in the past few years would have ever happened. It is the story that made me fall further in love with Thomas and Alex, but most importantly it’s the one that reminded me how much I loved writing and that I shouldn’t be ashamed to write about things I love no matter what other people think about them.

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

That’s so hard! I have so many that I really love and have a special place in my heart! Part of me wants to say Mal’s orphanage series because I genuinely would love to run an orphanage and care for children in need.

Ahhh the pressure!!! Can I skip this one?! Okay, fine, I’m going to pick randomly, but not?!

An Unexpected Misadventure:

Synopsis: The twins bring an unexpected guest home to meet their mom and things take a turn when their new friend slips from their grasp.

It’s pure chaos, and I love it! It is 100% what would happen if someone brought me a frog. #irrationalfear 🙈

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was?

I had always been an Ethan stan, and I loved writing Ethan, but when the pandemic started I needed a comfort character, one that was openly available—no slow-burn necessary—one who was affectionate and just genuinely a ray of sunshine, so I decided to write Bryce as a creative exercise. I never expected to fall so much more in love with Bryce through writing him and having people read and enjoy my Bryce. I was surprised my first fic Stay did so well

10 - What about one you expected to be, but it could use a little more love?

Seeing as I missed the height of Thomas Hunt’s popularity and only started writing him when his favor was dying out, pretty much any of my Thomas Hunt fics could use more love. I also feel like I write for characters that are less popular in general like Justin Mercado (sorry, not sorry), Levi Schuler, Mal Volari, etc. It just means they don’t get as much love, but that’s okay. I am genuinely so grateful for those that do love them and support my efforts to keep them alive.

10- What is your specialty as a fanfic writer?

Fluff, fluff, and fluff! All the fluffy goodness. Life has enough pain and angst already, I can’t handle writing it too. I guess I also specialize in small moment stories. I like taking everyday moments that could go overlooked and turning them into something special because all of those small moments strung along are really what love is.

11- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Let me think about this 🤔🤔🤔… it’s a close one, but I guess fluff? JK, fluff all day, every day!

12- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MC’s or in your writing?

Definitely, there is a piece of myself in each of my MCs and OCs. Alex Spencer/Hunt is probably the one I most identify with. I see my kindness, love of coffee, dislike for mornings, and appreciation for simple things in her. We also share physical characteristics. She is everything I wish I was and aspire to be.

Olivia Hadley/Lahela would be a close runner-up. She is nurturing, empathetic, and supportive. She works hard and can sometimes give too much of herself to the kids she works with which leaves her drained. I feel like I put a lot of who I am and how I feel into her.

13- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

The part where words are actually required to get the idea from my head to a finished post. Words are hard! lol

14- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

My WIP list is really embarrassingly long. I have so much I want to finish. The most popular thing on that list though would probably be my Love and Scotch series which is a Hollywood U/Open Heart crossover.

15- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

No, and no! I’ve had a few people ask what I write but I usually just answer with “words” and leave it at that. I would never let anyone I personally know read my fanfiction. 🙈

16- Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

There are so many amazing fan fic writers that I love and have inspired me but I’m only going to pick the top 3 that come to mind because I don’t want to make a list and leave anyone out!

The-devil-writes-drabbles: I know they deactivated a while ago, but their creativity and ability to tell a story in so few words has always inspired me to try the same.

@lilyoffandoms They always tell stories that are fun and sometimes unexpected. They build worlds around their characters that pull you in and make them feel real to you.

@The-Soot-Sprite/@zaffrenotes: I love their use of social media edits to tell stories and the puns! Gotta love the puns! I don’t do many social media edits but when I do, I always think of their series, Cordonians Undercover!

17- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

My Red Carpet Diaries universe. I just love Thomas and Alex so much. I’d love to see them come to life with their beautiful twins and most importantly Bogart, I love that dog way too much!

18- Do you write original stories?

I do! I have a finished novel manuscript that I’d love to see published, but so far no luck. One day I’ll look into self-publishing, maybe? I also have 2 unfinished manuscripts that I’d love to finish, and 1 drafted outline for a novella.

19 - What other hobbies do you have?

Outside of work, I don’t have much time for hobbies, and writing and daydreaming about writing definitely take most of my time. Other than that, I have a lot of animals and hanging with them, my horses, in particular, are enjoyable.

20 - What’s your favorite emoji?

🥺💖🥰

21: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

I am truly blessed to be a part of this fandom. I can not express the gratitude I have for all the support and love I’ve received in my time here. The past few years haven’t been easy for any of us, but being part of this fandom, being able to share stories that mean something to me, has been what has helped me through. I’m not sure I would be here still without this fandom. Writing Thomas Hunt saved me when I was in a very dark place and Bryce Lahela got me through the pandemic (which will be ending any day now, right?!).

I don’t know what the future holds, but I will forever treasure the memories I’ve made in this fandom and be grateful for the experiences I’ve had (both the good and the bad).

Thank you for the support and for believing in me.

And thank you to CFWC for helping keep the fandom alive and doing such a wonderful job encouraging and promoting writers. 💖💖💖

[causticsunshine]

i was tagged by both the lovely @dyingstars-x and @harrymegirlfriend to answer twenty questions about myself! this was a lot more candid than i anticipated but here we go~

💗what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

alex!

💗when is your birthday?

july 21st! cancer season baybee

💗where do you live?

in the US! i've been in the pacific northwest for about eight years but i'm definitely still a californian at heart

💗three things you’re doing right now?

1. jobhunting 2. trying to open my online shop 3. attempting™️ to finish deadline stuff and this HSLOT drawing i've been working on since saturday 🤞🤞

💗four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

i go through little phases where i have my one big primary interest—one dee since returning to it last summer—that sticks around for awhile and then some smaller, less involved ones that tend to come and go, so i'd say right now the only other 'fandom' i'm kinda in is for MDZ/the untamed/cql, even though i'm a very late member to the party!

💗how is the pandemic treating you?

okay i guess? i'd really like to be moved out already as being in therapy and gaining confidence since my big mental breakdown last fall—accompanied with quitting my job of nearly four years that didn't get me anywhere in life—i've realized how many unhealthy behaviors and mindsets are perpetuated in my household and how they're....really not good for me at all. but i also know i can't get to the place i'd like to be mentally and emotionally without moving out, i also can't move out until i find a 9-5 with bennies with all my health problems + me losing my insurance in the new year so it's been....a time.

buuuut besides the soul crushing terror of being an adult living at home with people who don't understand you, i'm confident now and a lot of my mindsets have changed to healthier ones and i've regained my love of art and being creative?

💗song you can’t stop listening to right now?

it's a combination of 'i wish i never met you' by loote, 'crowd' by sophie cates, and...... 'stay' by the kid laroi + justin bieber (although i think that one's just an earworm i need to work out lmao)

💗recommend a movie

i just got to rewatch 'cowboy bebop: the movie' and it's sooo fun....(spoilers) i know the ending of the anime is supposed to be purposefully open as it just covers a section of time in the characters' lives where they're all together but i kinda wish i'd watched the movie after as opposed to when it takes place because it's a little bit...of a nicer (and much clearer) wrap up!

💗how old are you?

twenty five 🧓

💗school, university, occupation, other?

currently jobhunting for a Boring grown up job just for some regularity and insurance (and $$ to get my ass OUT) but i want to take on freelance commission work again too! i dropped out of uni in like 2018 because the school i was going to kept fucking me over with credits just to get my associate's but maybe i'll go back one day.....maybe.....

💗do you prefer hot or cold?

HOT only because it's so gd cold and wet where i live now and even when the summers are warm they're super short and don't compensate for the months i spend not moving out of arthritis pain and freezing my ass off

💗name one fact others may not know about you.

i always come up with fun ones when i don't have any reason to share them lmao but i guess.....staying on-brand with 1d stuff, and i might've said this before, but louis gave me my first bout of gender envy that i recognized as actual gender envy when i was like, fifteen? and as i was coming out of my obvious emo phase into one more subdued, i totally dressed like twink louis for almost a year....haircut and everything....

if i can find the one photo i'm thinking of i'll post it but until then use your imagination sjkgdf

💗are you shy?

i can be? i think once i vibe with someone enough it becomes easy to talk to and open up to them but before that i can be pretty closed off and a bit impersonal.

💗do you have any preferred pronouns?

they/them!

💗any pet peeves?

i'm one of those 'people talking or random noise being made near me while i'm trying to concentrate on something fuels my murder response out of nowhere' people but otherwise...outside of common courtesy/manners stuff being ignore, i don't think so? although i genuinely hate when people walk right behind me or right in front of me...shit makes me anxious and ticks me off dfjkngdf i got shit to do!!

💗what’s your favourite “dere” type?

am i boring if i say tsundere just because it's relatable? although dorodere is kinda fun in the right setting....i love a good character twist!

💗rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

i'd say a 5? there's a lot more i want to do and achieve and things i know i could have right now if my ADHD and anxiety didn't still have such a death grip on me but i'm also in the best headspace i've been in in years so i'll take that as a win!

💗what’s your main blog?

this one!

💗list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

swmpwxtch is my art-only blog because i'm slow at finishing things and know there's no point trying to make this an 'art blog' when i reblog so much, and then prickelndauge is my insp blog (so if you're wondering why there's a startling lack of fashion and art on this blog, it's mostly over there!), then i have one for creepy/spooky stuff (bonepickng) because i know not a lot of people want to see that on main, aaaaand am-ref a ref blog for art tips, life things, donation pools, etc.! (and some old urls i have saved)

💗is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

at the risk of sounding like a YA protagonist: my heart is full of love and i try to be as understanding and open as i can be but i also have a very short bullshit fuse, so while i'm still happily understanding of certain behaviors and mindsets, if you cross the line that i put very bluntly in the sand, you're not crossing back over.

(ie i love my friends but don't be a dick and if you are you get one warning and that's all <3)

uhhh i know a lot of people got tagged already and have done this so! i'll be tagging @grimmpitch @hershelsue @niallnailme @dragmedown @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk @justmehernthemoon @non-binharry @genius0flove @mamaharry @theymetinthetoihlet @saintqueer and uhhh anyone else that would like to!! and if you've done this already please ignore me~

[silkylious]

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!

I'd like to dedicate a post to all the wonderful people that I've had the absolute privilege and pleasure to befriend this year! I feel very thankful for having the chance to talk to each one of you and I just want you all to know that I love you so, so much, you've helped me get through this year and make it that much more bearable. So I'd like to say thank you to:

@lady-bakuhoe I still remember in May when you replied to my message and reblogged my first fanfic, I almost went into cardiac arrest. You're one of the very first people I knew of and admired on here, way before I even started this blog. You kickstarted my blog in more ways than one, you first inspired me to share my writing out there and you helped me gain my footing when I first started out. Idek how I can explain how grateful I am to you, I honestly wouldn't even have this blog without you.

@sassi-sunflower i hopped into your dm's almost exactly five months ago, and my god that is the best decision I've made all year by far. I never, ever would have thought that that first time I slid into your inbox and said "you're cute" would spark such a beautiful friendship but holy shit I wouldn't trade it for the world. We just clicked so well in our first conversation and I still remember it very vividly, I remember gushing to my older brother about this adorable, hilarious friend that I made online, I remember messing up my already shitty sleeping schedule so that our time zones sync up and we could talk. You literally make me so happy whenever I get to talk to you, I'm so fucking glad I decided to check out the blog that kept popping up in my notifications, so fucking grateful I sent you an ask that one time, because fuck you're such an amazing, close friend to me.

@dimplesum and @tamasoft y'all are my very first mutuals fr you're my day 1. I remember when 'tsunami' first blew up and I was so overwhelmed with the positive feedback, I get this dm from ellie and it just warms my fucking heart, and then I see faye's reblog and almost faint. your words meant so damn much to me, you gave my the courage to keep writing and posting, you gave me this security that even if my shit flops, if I'm overwhelmed with my personal life I'd still have two phenomenal mutuals to turn to if I needed guidance, especially since I was so fucking new to tumblr. Your writing on its own has brightened my days in so many times it's crazy. I'm so happy I had you guys to support me when I first started out, it means the world to me.

@sugacookiies I hit you up in dm's back when your url was still bnha-homeroom, and I don't regret it one bit!! You're literally the sweetest person ever, it made my whole fucking day when I saw you on my dash or in my dm's. You're one of the first people I reached out to on here and I genuinely get so elated whenever we talk. Your writing is some of the fucking best I've ever read like sometimes I just go back to specific pieces of yours to read them for the nth time and still be in awe of each word.

@fanfic-me-up and @vannahfanfics I love you guys to the moon and fucking back. Both of you are so fucking supportive omggg Bria whenever I see you in my notifications or dm's I beam. your comments on my writing literally mean so much to me, they fucking boost my mood into the stratosphere, I love love love every conversation I have with you babe. And vannah I admire you so. Fucking. Much. The way you manage to always put in so much hardwork and consistency in your writing while balancing a heavy academic life is fucking unfathomable to me. And you deserve all the credit for it, like you're so damn underrated it hurts. You're such an inspiration to me dude, I strive to be like you fr.

@keeijiakaashi (edited in later bc tumblr hates me and didn't save my first draft 🤡) Clio my online sister, I'd like to thank you for unknowingly stopping so many breakdowns I almost had. Your advice is absolutely priceless, I'm so fucking happy you stumbled upon my blog a couple months ago because you legit make me feel like I have a cool older punk rock sister that I can talk to about anything and everything. Just seeing you in my notifications makes me smile, even if I'd been crying over biology two seconds before lol

@marilags uh hey hi hello goddess of writing I'd like to first say that I grovel at the feet of every piece I read from you. I just... How is it so good??? I legit spend SO much time analyzing why I like each work of yours and honestly that inadvertently makes me improve too. I've loved your writing from afar for a while now but then I started interacting with you recently and ??? You're such a sweetheart???? Like ma'am this isn't fair, you get to pick one, either be super talented and hardworking or be the most adorable person ever, not both. Hands down my biggest writing inspiration, immaculate immaculate immaculate.

@honeykeigo Erika please you're like my main source of serotonin at this point. Your writing is so fucking good, and seeing your character anon interactions in my dash makes my day. Every now and then when I'm hit with a depressive episode, reading your stuff or just seeing you on my dash elevates my mood a lott you don't even know. Please keep doing what you're doing because it brings a smile to my face.

@khionne ❗❗ UNDERRATED WRITER ALERT ❗❗please if you haven't read anything from khione yet, I'm telling you right now: go do yourself a service and binge her entire masterlist I'm begging you. There are so many gems in this fandom it's unreal, and khione is one of em. Bro I love talking to you so much, we share the exact same academic pain LMAO I've only known you for short bit of time and I'm so excited to get to know you better. Also our first interaction almost made me cry lmfao

@mypimpademia @sophie-writings @todosweetheart @burnedbyshoto @miriossunshine @mrs-atushiro @raes-ramblings I am not so close with any of you guys but reading your works has helped me get through this year in some way or another, either by inspiring me to write myself, or just being my comfort when I needed it, thank you for putting out such great content <3

@chitziburn @lucyheartfilias-wife @bluemonochromes @howcanibreathewithnozaire @msngyu I see you guys in my notifications frequently! Thank you for supporting me it really means a lot <3

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

ok so we have seen over and over again people's assumptions about how gg main characters's instagrams would look like but how do you think their secret tumblr blogs would be? 👀

hmm! i just went over tumblr in general, because i don’t think all of them would have ‘secret’ tumblrs per say? everyone’s thing under the cut, cause it got SO long. i did not mention chuck because i don’t rlly see chuck as having a tumblr in any universe tbh - i feel like he would think it takes away from his businessy vibe or something.

dan's main would be something with a ts eliot url, like, a snippet from one of his poems, or it would be a whitman url, a snippet from a poem again (i see him with a whitman url of some kind & maybe his blog title is an eliot reference.) dan would 100% have the whole dark academia thing going in some ways, i think his blog would be organised as a grid, and he would reblog pictures of libraries, museums, occasionally of art, and also, quotes. so many quotes. so much literature. if you've been on tumblr long enough you know exactly the kind of blog i'm talking about.

dan's tumblr sideblog, on the contrary, would have nothing to link it to him. it'd probably be the tumblr default theme, pastel colours or something... i feel like dan is the specific genre of trans kid who uses a different set of pronouns online for anonymity purposes and then goes "wait a minute i like these pronouns BETTER". his url would be something extremely mundane and random like coffeeaddict779 or something, and it would be all #vent and #dont reblog. nobody who's following his sideblog knows what his main is, and vice versa.

serena would i think have one of those "be kind, do no harm :)" kind of hipster tumblr blogs, except she's incredibly sincere. she wouldn't have a sideblog, i don't think? and i don't think she'd attach her name to it in any way, probably just pronouns in bio and maybe a 'call me S'. she and dan would be mutuals on dan's main! her blog will be very, uh. aesthetic pictures, reblogs of dolphin videos and music and WIP art videos and anything else that'll catch her eye. she'll tag blair in fashion vids, nate in sailing posts, dan in literary stuff, and vanessa in film related/photography related things. she's having fun! every now and then she'll post a vent post but it's extremely vague and it's either something everyone who knows her irl already knows about her ('i hate my mom so much') or something that says practically nothing ('i am so worried about my brother and wish i could do more to help him.')

jenny's fashion inspo blog!!!! what more do you want me to say. she'd make it big in the fashion community and get anons all the time and she'd probably also have an etsy where she sells things she's sewn and made. everyone sort of knows she's an up and coming designer and she'd find a good community online hopefully!!! her blog would be something simple, with a url like jennydesigns or something (i bet that's taken rn, i havent checked) and her theme would be one of those themes that allows for u to have big images. she would probably post vents in the same way serena does, tag them #personal or #rambles, and have that neat code that allows for the tag to be filtered out whenever anyone views her page on desktop, you know?

i think eric would not have anything specific that he posts. he would just reblog random things - memes, things he finds interesting, jenny's original posts, stuff serena tags him in, cat videos, lgbtq+ positivity, etc. he'd try and stay out of drama (i think he'd turn anon off eventually.) he’d also post a lot of music reblogs or links, i feel?

vanessa's main blog would be one where she posts her own photos and films. because she's professional about it, it'd probably just be @ vanessaabrams. she'd have a sideblog specifically for reblogging other people’s work because she wants to support other artists, and it would be vanessareblogs or something like that, and her bio would mention “main tumblr @ vanessaabrams”. she’d be much adored in the photo/film community and just in general, because she’s one of the few people who hypes up other creators all the time and leaves nice comments in tags and all that. every now and then serena reblogs vanessa’s photography onto her blog and it almost always blows up, but vanessa doesn’t mind. i don’t think vanessa would have a vent blog or even a personal tag, she gives me big ‘i wanna keep my business totally off the net’ kind of vibes.

nate’s blog would be a lot like serena’s except, uh, more openly wanderlusty i think. a LOT of ocean reblogs. every now and then he reblogs keroauc quotes from dan which the girls find extremely hilarious. he talks a lot about sailing and gets a lot of sailing anons. he’d reblog a lot of positivity (mostly because he knows his friends are following him and he wants to brighten up their dash.) dan and vanessa jokingly dm him weed aesthetic posts all the time, but every time they do he reblogs and tags it ‘sent to me’ or somehting like that, and they cant decide whether to be flattered or embarrased. i think nate would also attract a lot of anons who ask for advice and it is something he never expected people coming to him for, but he definitely listens and shares whatever he’s got to say all the same. he’s this blog who should be weirdly niche but everyone sort of knows him and likes him.

saving the best for the last, lol. i have SO many thoughts about blair’s tumblrs. 

i think she’d have a main tumblr that’s solely for classic film stuff (audrey! and more) and that’d be @ blairwaldorf, because, well, duh. i think she’d pay for a tumblr theme and get one of those really fancy and cute ones, like a floralcodes ms paint theme. i think she’d also have a sideblog that’s less serious, where she’d reblog things from tv shows, reblog things serena or nate have tagged her in, write her own meta for fandoms she’s in, just generally be a multifandom mess with a #personal tag but nothing too personal. it would still be classy, because she’s blair, but on this blog, she’s just a girl having fun.

and then she’d have a THIRD blog, a sideblog that doubles up as a vent blog. and this one isn’t linked to her other two in an obvious way, nobody knows it’s her, etc. on here she’d probably post a lot about her ed (but i think in a  ‘i am struggling and i want to bitch’ way, not in a thinspo way - that’s a whole conversation i have no spoons for, so let’s not go there), she’d post about her insecurities and worries but it would be extremely untraceable. she’d have a fancy theme on this one too, despite it being a vent blog. 

hm. now im thinking of the potential of like. dan and blair interacting super frequently on their vent blogs and neither of them knowing it’s the other person!

[spnfanficpond]

Pond Diving - Imagineteamfreewill

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

“Don’t Be Koi About It” - All About You

Name: Meg

Age: 20s

Location: United States

URL: @imagineteamfreewill

Why did you choose your URL: I first started out structuring my stories as imagines, and the “Team Free Will” part was pretty obvious.

What inspired you to become a writer: Reading Supernatural fanfiction inspired me to get back into writing, but I’ve always enjoyed it. My mom likes to talk about how when I was in Kindergarten, I drew a picture about how I wanted to be an author and now I write in my free time.

How long have you been writing: According to tumblr, I’ve been writing fanfiction since 2014, but I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember.

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc? I’m a music teacher, so I sing and play piano, and I’ve played a bit of cello and tenor saxophone as well. I love movies, baking, sleeping, and a few video games.

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom? I joined sometime around Season 8 or 9, I think. I don’t really remember!

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? I really enjoy Marvel and I’ve read a lot of Marvel fics, but I don’t write for them. I like a lot of TV shows (New Girl, Parks and Rec, The Good Place, Outlander, etc), but I wouldn’t consider myself part of the fandom.

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? I love to write poetry. I had a poetry blog at truenorth-ink a while ago, but I haven’t updated it recently at all. Most of my poems aren’t published or posted anywhere.

Favorite published author: I love some of the early series by Rick Riordan and I also really enjoy poetry by Nikita Gill and Atticus. Lately, I've really been getting into Leigh Bardugo's books.

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?: I think "East" by Edith Pattou really affected me! I read it when I was in 6th-8th grade and I think about it often. I think it's something that really stuck with me and got me interested in fantasy books so much. I read it at least once a year.

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc): I love angsty stuff, and most of the time I prefer it when it has some fluff mixed in. Straight fluff is often hard for me to read because I need something that’s more realistic for my own life and point of view. I also really like whump, but that can be a lot sometimes so it depends on my mood.

Favorite piece of your own writing: I don’t know if I have a favorite, but I loved writing Back to the Start (my mermaid series) and The Switch (a canon-divergent apocalyptic Reader x Sam series). Right now, I'm really enjoying my Consort series (a Goddess!Reader x Dean series). Creating my own rules in my own little universes is one of my favorite things to do, especially since I can’t always do whatever I want in real life.

Most underrated fic you have written: Empire. I loved getting to write Boyking!Sam because it was so different from my normal Sam stories and I did a lot of research for it. I’m pretty proud that the story never got too bloody or gory, too, so if you want some Boyking!Sam that’s not drenched in blood (for lack of a better term), I’m your girl!

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show: Probably Back to the Start or The Switch. I think those two series would be amazing to see with J2, the rest of the cast/characters I included, and special effects! There’s so much I’d want to explore with both of them that I didn’t put into the series.

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s): @luci-in-trenchcoats, @sunlightdances, @supernaturalfreewill, @lipstickandwhiskey, @smol-and-grumpy, @percywinchester27, and @kaz2y5-imagines

Favorite fic from another writer:  I don’t think I could pick just one, but I’ve read all of @sunlightdances Dean fics multiple times. Her works got me through some pretty sucky times in my life and I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of her writing! I’ve also been reading her Bucky fics recently and it’s made me love Marvel fics even more than before!​

Favorite character to write: Sam Winchester

Favorite Pairing to write: Reader x Sam (Reader x Dean is a close second)

Least favorite character to write (and why): I don’t like to write for Crowley or Gabriel. Gadreel is hard for me even though I can do it, but I don’t understand Crowley or Gabriel’s personalities at all because they’re literally so far away from mine.

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor? No, although @lipstickandwhiskey and @kaz2y5-imagines really encouraged me in my writing!​

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing? I would love to write a non-Supernatural work of fiction to publish, but that’s a long way off.

How many work-in-progress stories do you have: Oh Lord, I have so many! I have at least four series and two one shots in the works right now. I've also got over 100 one shots/series plotlines written out in the notes on my phone and various Google Docs.

What are you currently working on? I’m currently working on a Cinderella series, my Underworld series, my Puer Rex series, my Consort series, an Author!Sam fic, and an Author!Dean fic. I also write stories for my Words series now and again.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing? Reading other people’s work. The intense storylines of @luci-in-trenchcoats ’s fics have gotten me to be more bold with my writing and the emotions and description in @supernaturalfreewill’s works have inspired me to let my work have more feeling.

Best writing advice you've been given: Not necessarily writing advice, but I was once told that anything worth doing is worth doing at least a little bit every day. Think about it—if you wrote even just five minutes a day, how much better will you get over the course of a month? A year?

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing: Repetition of words and commas. So many commas and so many uses of the same word over and over again. It’s a hard balance between using the word and using synonyms without sounding like I’m sitting there googling synonyms for “said”. I also tend to spend a lot of time on things that I think are super important but aren’t really important in the long run. I’m wordy as hell and my writing would be dull if I didn’t edit it as thoroughly as I do.

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction? A lot of times I have these ideas that I think would make a great series but I don’t think through them, so planning out the plot of a series (or even a standalone fic) beforehand is something I struggle with.

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why): I would love to write more fics that have the characters dealing with severe mental disorders or that take place in a mental hospital, but I’m afraid that I’ll portray something wrong and solidify harmful stereotypes about what it’s like to deal with those things.

What inspires/motivates you to write: Honestly, just wanting to write things that I enjoy. Sometimes I get sick of reading other peoples’ stuff since it’s not exactly what I want, so I just write my own!

How do you deal with self doubt: Understand that sometimes it happens. You’ll doubt yourself—everybody does. If I’m doubting myself or my writing, I’ll take a break until I remember why I write. Then I’ll remember that yeah, writing for an audience is fun, but I write because I have cool ideas I want to explore, not because I need the attention or love of strangers. Lastly, I’ll reread my old fics, especially the ones I love, and then I’ll go back and edit old fics that I haven’t looked at in a while. That way I can see how I’ve improved and I don’t feel so terrible anymore! Reading my own fics is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine, and I’ll read through my masterlists every once a while just to remind myself of the things I’ve loved, where I’ve been, and where I’m going.

How do you deal with writer's block: Like I said, I reread old fics and edit old fics that I haven’t looked at in a while. Seeing the things I’ve done before always helps to focus me. I’ll also read other people’s stuff or talk about headcanons with some friends to try and find some inspiration.

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: Lately I have been, but only because my periods of intense inspiration and productivity are getting farther and farther apart because of my job. I’ve found planning it out to be more and more helpful, especially for my series. A lot of times if I get a great idea, I’ll outline the whole plot or any significant details I want to put in that one shot/series so that I can come back to it whenever I have the time or I’m inspired for it again.

Do you have any weird writing habits: I write best in places that are unfamiliar to me or in places/times where I shouldn’t be writing. Class? Writing. Airport terminal? Writing. 4am when I have to be up at 6? Writing.

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it? Not that I remember! I feel like there’s probably been one or two over the years, but I probably just got upset about it with my friends for a while and then got over it.

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic? A long time ago, when I was writing Back to the Start, I had one person who sent me asks for every single series update. I screenshotted them and saved them on my laptop. There’s one particular one where they say that they’re happier because of my writing and honestly, isn’t that what we all strive for? That people’s lives are better because of our stories? I’ve also had some pretty great friends recently who’ve made it a point to reblog and send asks/messages on all my works, which has been so meaningful that I never replied to the asks. They’re sitting in my inbox and I go through and reread them sometimes when I’m feeling down.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be?  ​Write down everything. If you come up with an amazing piece of dialogue, even if it’s just one sentence or one person talking, or if you come up with something you’d think would be a great title… WRITE IT DOWN. It doesn’t matter if it fits into whatever you’re currently writing or not, it’ll come in handy! I don’t know how many times I’ve gone through my idea list and found really obscure lines/titles/inspiration that didn’t make sense when I wrote them down, but are now exactly what I need to finish a fic. Even if you don’t end up using it, jotting down your ideas is still writing, and that’s good practice!

[razanartuk]

about me tag game thing

i was tagged by the wonderful @nothingunrealistic! thank you very much ily <3

under read more bc i was not capable of keeping my answers brief this time around

why did you choose your url?

this...was supposed to be a short explanation but it turned into quite a tale so strap in i guess because we are going on a ride. back in 2017 i was just getting into musical theatre rp and i was still feeling too shy to really talk to anyone ooc so i would just wait for people i wanted to interact with to post starter calls so i could just do things in character with them the easy way. So i did this with my friend cam, who posted a starter for me using a lyric from If I Could Tell Her. she linked the song so i could listen to it, so i did and i went ‘wait a minute, is that Ben Platt from Pitch Perfect?? (and other things too, but i only recognized his voice at the time bc of the acappella girl movies)’ and yes it certainly was.

i had zero idea what the plot of Dear Evan Hansen was about at that point, and for some reason based off Just That One Song and the poster art of who i assumed was Some Guy in a Polo Shirt i started to think it was about some jock guy who broke his arm and had an emo/goth friend who had either died or gone missing under mysterious circumstances. also i intuited that Evan had a crush on his friend’s sister but he couldn’t tell her that directly or his emo friend would kick his ass. so i was like mostly wrong, but a little bit right.

oh and i knew jared and alana were characters from the show bc cam said that they were i think?? but i had no idea what their role was. so after listening to if i could tell her, i listened to good for you and all i really got out of that was that evan the apparently not-jock guy had done...something... that really hurt jared and alana. and at that point i finally decided to go look up a plot synopsis and i found out i was waaay off base. but honestly this is why cast recordings should include scene dialogue in the songs bc otherwise you just get soundtracks like dear evan hansen where the songs have like. zero context. we really just go from waving through a window to for forever to sincerely me without like. any reason as to what is happening huh. It’s honestly not a surprise anymore that all those people on twitter had no idea the plot isn’t about gay teenagers.

anyways. cam was writing jared and she made a post at one point about wishing somebody would write alana and i was like ‘oh i could do that!’ (after i had actually Seen a bootleg and finally knew what the whole story was, of course) so i made a multimuse rp blog featuring alana beck, nabulungi hatimbi, chloe valentine and some other characters, and cam started sharing her headcanons with me that alana is trans, jared and alana were close friends when they were little kids but they sort of drifted apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed, jared was the first person alana came out to when she realized she’s trans, etc.

one night i started talking about wanting to pick a more theatre-relevant url for my blog and trans-[character name] urls were getting pretty popular, and at least 3 of the friends i made through rp had changed theirs to coordinating trans-[character name] and i think it was cam suggested i should make mine be trans-alana so i did. eventually i realized the unhyphenated version was available so i changed it to transalana with no hyphen and i have lived here ever since. sometimes i think about changing it but i feel like transalana has become a part of My Brand and i am not so great with coming up with cool names for things.

any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

in theory, i have sideblogs... i don’t really use them, but of the ones i do have, there is:

emsbookblog - this was supposed to be where i would post excerpts of the book that i’m working on, but i think i did that maybe one time roughly 2 years ago and then promptly forgot about it/got nervous about my writing and was scared to share anything else. the rest of the stuff that is there is assorted writing tips. i don’t really know what to do with it now. i probably should post all my little thoughts about em and anita and caleb there instead of infodumping on my main from time to time, but if i do that then i have to promo a sideblog and direct people over to it which is always annoying to me when i could just do it on this blog which is much easier

dearnovelhansen - this is basically no longer used, but was a sideblog i made specifically to talk/complain about the novel adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen which was about 3 years ago?? maybe? i can’t be trusted to understand the passage of time. but to summarize: i thought it was an honor just to have the story be made more accessible since many of us couldn’t see the stage performance, but i hated a lot of the creative liberties that were taken. my main grumbles are that everyone who isn’t evan or connor is done so dirty in the novel. connor’s still kind of done dirty in the book, but not as much as like. heidi, alana, jared, and zoe are.

horseisle3 - this one was meant to be a place where i could just enthusiastically post screenshots from hi3, but instead it turned into a blog where i occasionally reblog other players’ hi3 content and bitch about how bad the game admins are bc hi3 is the tumblr famous (infamous?) homophobic horse game. the game where it was once okay to call your club store the gulag bc according to their head of hr, ‘it’s just a russian word for prison’ but you can’t say ‘im gay’ without somebody accusing you of corrupting young children who play the game. unfortunately there aren’t very many good interactive horse games out there, so this one is still about as good as it gets. it’s either that or star stable and i don’t care about star stable.

mlaenie - i’ve had this url saved for i don’t even know how long. way way way back in the day when i wanted to escape from the clutches of the onceler fandom i abandoned my first blog where i basically had an alter ego i guess?? and i decided to just be myself on the new blog. i don’t fully remember who came up with it, but one of my sister’s mutuals suggested that if you scrambled the letters in your name you could come up with aesthetic-looking urls. so lauren’s url became lrauen, and to match with her mine became mlaenie, which i abandoned on tumblr after about a year or so? but have continued to use as my main username on twitter, reddit, youtube, xbox, steam, and discord. i barely ever use any of these accounts aside from twitter, steam, and xbox, but yeah. so i’ve decided to try and turn this empty sideblog into a place for video game thoughts maybe. we’ll see how long it lasts this time around.

how long have you been on tumblr?

i made my first tumblr account in december of 2010, but i didn’t understand how to use it at all or how to customize my theme to look cool and unique so i quickly abandoned it. i made a new account in september of 2011 after some kids at school and my sister told me i should and i have been trapped here with varying degrees of activity/inactivity ever since. i have witnessed the rise and fall of the lorax/onceler fandom, hyperfocused on lord of the rings, star wars and back to the future all at the same time, and for the past 4 years i’ve mostly been a musical theatre blog with assorted other fandom stuff mixed in. i feel i have seen everything and nothing, but mostly i’m just tired and bored.

do you have a queue tag?

no bc i don’t use a queue. i’ve tried using it in the past but i irrationally feel pressured to sustain a coherent theme to queued posts and my brain simply does not vibe with that so i just don’t use it at all anymore. Instead i instantly reblog or post several unrelated thoughts in succession and then don’t post again at all for 3 days. the way god intended

why did you start your blog in the first place?

my very first blog was intended to be a place for me to post all of my petz 5 animals’ profile info, but i didn’t have any understanding of how coding worked at all and i don’t think i really wanted to learn, either. so it just sat there, unused. my second attempt at blogging was as a classic rock fandom person, so as you can probably imagine i was pretty pretentious about ‘modern pop’ vs the beatles, the rolling stones, the who, the monkees, and so on. and then i slowly devolved into a lorax fandom blog and everything went to shit so i made a new blog for lord of the rings/the hobbit which later evolved to include star wars and back to the future blogging. and then for the past 4 years i’ve been mainly a musical theatre blog with other random stuff i like thrown haphazardly into the pot. wonderful.

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because my url is transalana and two of my most prominent lgbt headcanons are that alana beck is trans and a lesbian. i gotta be shouting out @kinqmike though bc she’s the one i adopted the trans alana beck headcanon from in the first place!

why did you choose your header?

in 2017 i was hyperfixating on Dear Evan Hansen (and Be More Chill, but there weren’t many gif-able videos then considering it ran for a month in New Jersey in 2015 and there was only one yet-to-resurface 35 minute bootleg) so i just grabbed a random gif off of google. i really should get to replacing it with a new header of my own though. i just don’t know what i should do for it.

what’s your post with the most notes?

i have lost track of how many notes it has (i think it’s somewhere around 200 now?) but when Will Roland and George Salazar performed Two Player Game on Good Morning America, i posted a screencap of their Jeremy and Michael along with that one quiz answer meme that says stuff like ‘i want to see it grow up healthy’. i didn’t tag it with any ship names or anything because i was anxious about having it show up in the tags, but somebody who reblogged it from me did tag it as boyf riends and i firmly believe it took off because of that. i don’t think i make posts that are relevant enough to amass thousands of notes, even by accident. which is probably a good thing bc if i did i would have to block so many of them.

how many followers do you have?

on this blog? 175 according to the counter. how many of those are still real people and how many are bots and abandoned accounts? i have no idea.

how many people do you follow?

i try to keep it somewhere around 200. i think i’m sitting at 180 right now but i kind of need to go through and clear out the really inactive blogs.

have you made a shitpost?

let’s think about this for a second. i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 10 years. you might even be able to say i’ve made more than one. they’re just not what you would call...popular shitposts.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?

that stuff makes me so incredibly anxious that i have to fight the urge to want to yeet my laptop or mobile device through the closest window whenever i read it, so i try very hard to avoid any sort of ‘if you don’t reblog this, i’m judging you’ posts. i find them very manipulative and not particularly helpful

do you like tag games?

yeah babey!! i just frequently forget to do them, but please know that if you have ever tagged me in a tag game i felt incredibly touched by the gesture and the @mention even if i completely forgot to do the thing afterward

do you like ask games?

i do! but also rip to literally anyone who has ever sent me an ask meme bc it takes me so long to answer them. i’m still working on a micro fic prompt from a few weeks ago. also, horrified to realized that it has in fact been a few weeks and not 3 days anymore.

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i don’t know that any are tumblr famous as a whole. but probably @neverheardnothing

do you have a crush on a mutual?

in any sort of romantic connotation? no. not that i’m aware of. there are mutuals that i have friend crushes on where i want to be friends with them but i get so anxious when it comes to meeting new people that usually nothing ever comes of it. i’m really not good at small talk or other casual conversation either which, as you may or may not be able to imagine, sucks. i just wanna skip over all of the awkward introductions and ‘hey how are you, how is life, what are you doing with yourself?’ stuff. not because i don’t care about it. i do, but i think most of my friends/the people i want to be my friends are also depressed and anxious so asking these basic questions about life tends to uh. make us all nervous. and i don’t do much with my life so i always have the most boring answers anyways.

i’m not tagging anyone officially bc the @ thing has just completely given up on me at this point, but if you want to do it, go for it. and then say i tagged you so i can read it c:

[dmitri-smerdyakov]

The Fantastic Beasts Franchise and JK Rowling

Alright, so...hi everyone.

I don’t know how many people follow this blog anymore because my main blog of operation is now @alwaysahiccupandastrid - I still try to keep this blog relatively active though, just because it was my original blog, I’ve had it since I was 13, and I have so many memories attached to it.

I’m aware that a lot of the people who follow me, especially since late 2016, do so because a) I was a loud and proud Fantastic Beasts fan, b) I wrote some Newtina and Jakweenie fic, and c)...I don’t know. I literally don’t know why people bother following me anywhere because I don’t feel like I have a lot to say. But, anyway, many people probably follow me due to Fantastic Beasts and my posts/fanfics within the fandom.

Those who follow my active blog will already know my feelings and thoughts, but because of the fact many things about this blog - me, the posts for the last four-ish years, the url itself - are Beasts related, I felt it was necessary to come and write an actual post here instead of just reblogging things and calling it a day. I’ve always been very outspoken online, but I’ve been avoiding a certain topic of conversation on this blog for years now, and I’m finally in a place where we can discuss it.

I am, of course, talking about the hot topic that is JK Rowling.

Back in the days between FBAWTFT and FBTCOG, I was a very outspoken defender of JK Rowling and her decision to defend Johnny Depp’s inclusion in the films. Now, this is something I still stand by to this day, and due to the evidence that has since come out, I’m even more steadfast in the opinion that keeping Depp was a great decision. I am fully in support of him and the way he’s currently battling against his abuser. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about right now. As I was saying, back in the day, I was outspoken about the opinion that “we don’t know the full story” etc., and as a result I received very colourful anon messages. Now, to my knowledge, none of these were about JKR being a TERF/transphone, but I think it’s important to mention that at the time I scoffed at the idea she could be one. I openly admit that I didn’t listen to what other people - including actual trans individuals - were saying about JKR and her transphobia because I frankly didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to admit that the person who wrote something that saved my life could be so hateful and a bad person - that, and at the time I passed it all off as “wokeness out of control”.

It is now 2020. Up until last Saturday night, I was still in support of JK Rowling - I didn’t agree with some of the stuff she had said, but I was trying to be positive and have hope by telling myself that she didn’t mean to be transphobic, that she just didn’t know what she was doing was wrong, even though the evidence clearly showed otherwise (I.e. her liking transphobic / radfem tweets). I said to my followers on my Beasts page that instead of cancelling people outright, we should be attempting to educate them instead, and if they choose not to learn then fine. And, being 100% obvious, I didn’t want to admit it because I frankly already was feeling annoyed at two different Beasts cast members for different reasons: Ezra Miller (for choking a girl) and Dan Fogler (for his tweet about BLM - admittedly that was probably him being well intentioned but not saying it right). So yeah, I didn’t want to cancel another member of the Beasts “family”.

I had JKR’s tweets on notifications, and for the most part over the last few weeks, it was all about the Ickabog. However, on Saturday night I noticed that she had suddenly tweeted something completely different, and I looked at it. Given that I had adamantly defended her and said “freedom of speech” for so long, it’s telling that my first thought upon seeing her tweet was literally “for fuck sake, Jo, why”.

I won’t post her tweets here but to sum that first tweet up, it was her being annoyed over the term “people who menstruate” being used in an article instead of “woman”, and mockingly saying “there used to be a word for that” before pretending she didn’t know the word. She knew that tweeting it would start arguments and anger, and yet she still made the decision to do so. Her follow up tweets frankly dug the hole deeper; she tried to defend herself by saying, to sum it up, “I have a butch lesbian friend who agrees with me” “I just care about women’s rights!” And “IF trans people were marginalised I’d march with you!” (“If”, of course, being the real kicker here because what do you mean IF. They ARE. Every DAY.)

Since then, JKR has written an essay on her website defending herself and her opinions, and yes, I read it. I read it a few times, in fact. At first, I felt my anger simmer and felt I had been too hasty to make anti JKR jokes, that I was wrong...but then I read it again properly and realised that what she had written was a piece that turned herself into the victim, and that despite putting on the appearance of her saying she supports trans people, including the phrases “I support trans people” and “of course trans women are real women”, she still spewed much transphobic vitriol and hate. She cited no sources for any of her proclamations or statements about statistics, implied that trans men transition to escape their “womanhood”, that trans women are men in dresses, that trans women are dangerous to “real” women (aka cis women) and shouldn’t be allowed into women’s changing rooms or toilets. There was also the autism comment, and the implication of autistic girls somehow not being able to make decisions or whatever.

I’m going to get straight to the point: I don’t support JK Rowling or her radical feminism.

As someone who is a proud feminist (libfem?), I can honestly say that never have I felt threatened or like I was being silenced by the inclusion of trans women in feminist spaces or conversation. Never. In my second year at sixth form, I was in charge of the LGBTQ+ club until a new leader with better leadership skills could step in, and - put simply - that year, the club was made almost entirely of first year transgender students. Even though I had called myself a trans ally for years, I realised there was a lot I didn’t know, and I learnt quite a lot from these students. I continue to still learn today. They were some of the nicest and most intelligent people I got the chance to meet, and I can truly say that at no point was I ever worried to be in a room alone with a trans woman, nor was I concerned about which bathroom they went in - bathrooms are bathrooms. Speaking of bathrooms...when I was at uni during a particularly tense rehearsal a few weeks before our final show last year, a guy in our group made me cry and I ran to the women’s bathroom to escape. Not only did the other girls come to comfort me, but you know what? The guy came in and apologised profusely to me. Did any of us girls give a shit about having a guy in our toilet? Absolutely not. It’s a fucking toilet. And, on that note, I was never worried about a trans woman or even a cis man attacking me in the toilets. You know who DID attack me in the toilets regularly? Other cisgender women.

As a feminist, I fully support trans women and am not threatened by the inclusion of trans women in women’s spaces or in women’s rights discussions. While I agree that cis women and trans women inevitably go through different struggles, at the end of the day, we all identify as women and are women. I think that if your feminism is so threatened by the existence of trans women - TERFs, RadFems, JKR, looking at you - then your feminism is flimsy and not feminism at all.

As a woman, I find it highly offensive that JKR and many RadFems focus so much of womanhood and feminism on an involuntary biological function that, frankly, many of us would rather do without. Yeah, I’m talking about periods - no matter how proud I am to be a woman, I still fucking hate periods and would get rid of mine if I could without erasing my chance of having kids someday. I can hear the RadFems accusing me of “internalised woman hatred” for saying I hate my periods, but you know what, they suck and they hurt and fuck them. The fact that JKR (also the the radfem movement) reduced “women” to just people who menstruate and can have children, and vice versa, is incredibly offensive and misogynistic. For a start, trans men menstruate, intersex people can, non binary can etc. Next, not even ALL cis women have periods - women who are menopausal, young women who haven’t started puberty yet (some do start very late), some women don’t have regular cycles, some women have medical problems that affect their cycle, some women are on birth control that can stop their cycles. So the idea of women being defined as “those who menstruate” is offensive not only to trans/intersex/non binary individuals but also to cis ones too.

As I write this, I’m a 22 year old woman who is still learning and changing every day, and one of the things that I’ve found myself thinking about recently - especially since we’re in lockdown and we have nothing BUT time to think - is about myself and my identity as a woman. What prompted this was when I saw Greta Gerwig’s adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s beloved book, “Little Women”, which I’ve since read, for my birthday back in January, and I left the cinema feeling exalted and powerful with my own identity as a woman. (I’ll be returning to LW in a bit)

After some thinking, I’ve realised some things. For me, my identity as a woman is not just because once a month my uterus decides to shed; I do not identify as a woman just because I have certain physical features. I am not a particularly feminine person either, and I’m what some may call a “tomboy” (a phrase I actually don’t mind but I know a lot of people do for understandable reasons since it’s a phrase designed to differentiate people who don’t conform to society’s expectations etc) because I prefer video games and more geeky stuff to shopping or dressing up or make up.

For me, there is no one way a person has to be or appear in order to identify as a woman. Women are beautiful, complex human beings; we are not defined by our genitalia, by an involuntary biological process. Women are strong, intelligent, and interesting people - no two are the same. For example, some decide to raise families, some choose to pursue a career, some do both - all of these are valid and none are more “feminist” or “womanly” than the others, because it’s our as women. I guarantee that if you lined up every single woman in the world - cis AND trans - no two would be the exact same.

I mentioned “Little Women” earlier, and as I was pondering over what makes me identify as a “woman”, I thought a lot about a certain quote from the 2019 film that has stayed with me since it was first said in the release of the trailer. It’s spoken by Jo March to her mother, and I’ve started to understand what for me makes me a woman.

For me, being a woman is all of this: having minds, hearts, souls, ambition, talent, and being beautiful each in our own ways. Women are capable of love and empathy, capable of desire, capable of the most complex and human feelings and emotions, and coming out the stronger for it.

Sex is one thing; gender identity is another.

I won’t dissect every single thing JKR wrote in her essay, but I will just say this: her comments regarding autistic girls are extremely tone deaf and she does not speak for those with autism. I’m going to be honest and admit something here I haven’t before: I have not been diagnosed with autism or aspergers but I AM currently on the waiting list to see someone who COULD diagnose me. Apparently I show signs of a potential diagnosis, so...we’ll have to see. But I have friends who are autistic, and they’re disgusted by JKR trying to use them to support her TERF arguments. Autistic and other neurodivergent people are absolutely capable of making decisions and are NOT people who need to be babied or have their hands held, to be told who they are. It’s incredibly ableist of JK Rowling frankly.

I would also like to point out... I’ve seen people saying “but she doesn’t hate autistic people, Newt is autistic!!!” - yes, but JKR didn’t write him as autistic. Eddie Redmayne chose to play Newt as autistic - JK Rowling didn’t do shit.

It’s also time that I acknowledge that both Potter and Beasts inevitably hold JKR’s problematic views, and that by denying her ownership of her work, we’re not holding her accountable for the horrible things she’s done. This includes - but is not limited to -:

Anti-Semitic stereotypes in the goblins

Lycanthropy being used as a metaphor for AIDS - an illness that is heavily associated to the gay community, and also there was the panic of the AIDs crisis in the 90s where much misinformation and homophobia was generated and spread because of it.

Adding further to the lycanthropy point, one of the infected individuals - Greyback - is stated to have a sick preference for infecting children. Not only are werewolves tied to harmful gay/AIDs stereotypes, but also to the disgusting and frankly wrong notion that gay people are pedophiles.

The only Asian character is called Cho Chang. Cho Chang. That’s two steps away from outright just calling her “Ching Chong”. It’s not a name an actual Asian person would have.

The Goldstein sisters are probably distantly related to Anthony Goldstein, who JKR confirmed (on Twitter of course) is Jewish, meaning that Tina and Queenie are most likely Jewish too (and Goldstein is a Jewish surname). However, despite the fact that the first FBaWTFT is set DURING Hanukkah in 1926, there’s zero signs of them celebrating or observing it. Maybe that’s more on set design than anything else, but come on - if I, a fanfic writer, can do some research, JK/the crew of a major movie can too!

Adding on from that, gotta love how one of the JEWISH main characters then decides to join the Wizarding world equivalent of Hitler. I already had problems with Queenie’s characterisation in CoG, but that’s the icing on the cake.

POC/Black characters - in both series but since I’m a Beasts blog... Seraphina Picquery, a Black female president serving a term during a MAJOR wizarding world crisis, is severely reduced to have only 3 lines in CoG. Nagini’s only purpose is to be the only friend of Credence, a white man, before he joins Wizard Hitler and abandons her; she’s also an Asian character who we know one day permanently becomes a SNAKE, and who goes on to actually have a piece of Voldemort’s soul inside of her?? And some do see her as his slave, though you could argue that she’s actually the only being that he holds any love or respect for. Leta Lestrange is a half-black woman who is killed/literally sacrifices herself for TWO WHITE MEN, and who’s death was literally confirmed to have been added in last minute.

Also, the whole Lestrange storyline was fucking nasty: white Lestrange Sr imperius-ed a black woman (Yusuf Kama’s mother), raped her, and she then died in childbirth. I’m sorry, what the fuck??

In Harry Potter, Seamus is a terrible stereotype of an Irish person - he likes to blow things up. Look up the IRA and their bombings. Fucking Irish stereotype. As someone with Irish grandparents and who is proud of their Irish heritage, this really pisses me off.

Let’s not forget the whole Native American cultural appropriation. That truly speaks for itself.

So here is where I speak candidly to everyone who follows me and/or sees this post. While Beasts is no longer my No. 1 fandom these days, it and Potter still hold a huge piece of my heart. I have 5 wizarding world tattoos, so much merchandise, and I can safely say that being a fan of both series has shaped me as a person. Both of those series helped me get through the darkest days of my life, including bullying at school, my Nan passing away, and my mental health struggles.

This is why what’s happened has impacted me so much and broken my heart. For me, it feels like it’s tainted now because of Jo and her views. I know that we should separate the art from the artist, but when her views are so clearly woven into the very fabric of the Wizarding world, it’s a huge problem.

Here’s another part of the dilemma - I do not wish for the Beasts films to be cancelled. I’m well aware that the *cough* people who dislike me will say I’m trying to be negative, trying to boycott the series blah blah blah, but that’s truly the last thing I want. I still love the story, the characters, the soundtrack, and I want to know how it ends, if only for my own piece of mind. It’s also important to add that by boycotting Beasts, it’s also harming the hard working thousands of others who worked on the films: the cast, the crew, the extras, the musicians, etc., not to mention the fans who actually are invested in the series and have taken solace in it. It’s not fair for them to all suffer over the actions of one TERF.

This is one of my biggest worries, however: the Fantastic Beasts films do NOT have a good reputation as it is. The second film was boycotted by some due to Depp, and now there’s talk of people boycotting number 3 because of JK Rowling. Lots of people already talk hatred about it, and this will only fire that hatred up even more.

There’s also talk of Eddie Redmayne potentially being kicked from the franchise due to a “leak” that he doesn’t want to work with JKR anymore, but this could be sensationalist news reporting. But if it came down to it, I can honestly say that I would rather continue to have Eddie play Newt than keep JKR as a writer. Eddie has done more for Newt than even JKR has, and if he goes, then that will be the last straw for me within the fandom. That will be when I take a sharp exit out, sell my FB merch and have my tattoos covered.

To add, the Fantastic Beasts scripts are...not great. Or, at least, what we saw on-screen wasn’t. Maybe that’s David Yates being the literal worst (fuck you, Yates, you suck) and cutting all the parts with strong female characters, but I honestly don’t think that JKR can write screenplays well at all. I think she’s clearly better at writing books, and that’s fine - books obviously allow for more time to explore characters and story/plot arcs etc, and film scripts offer way less of those chances. I don’t think screenplays allow her to write what she needs to in order to tell the story she wants to, hence why CoG was kind of a hot mess. So maybe it’s just that she’s not suited for screenplays and should stick to books.

Honestly, I kind of just wish that WB would hire another person to finish writing the Fantastic Beasts movies - obviously they’d have to keep JKR on board to tell them the actual plot, but get someone who can actually write screenplays and not be problematic to write them.

By now I’ve gone on long enough that I’ve forgotten my original intent while writing this, so I’ll try to sum up and end now. In short, I am extremely disappointed in JK Rowling and do not support her or her views any longer.

I don’t know how any of you guys are feeling but I would be interested to hear other people’s thoughts, especially other Fantastic Beasts fans. I want to also add that, as always, my DMs and inbox are always open - if not here, then always at @alwaysahiccupandastrid where I’m more active nowadays.

Finally, you guys don’t need me - a white cis woman - to tell you this but you’re all valid and magical and fuck JK Rowling. Her characters would all be ashamed of her, and the characters we grew up with would not stand for the bigotry and vile hatred she spreads under the guise of ““protecting women””. Several of the amazing actors from Potter and Beasts have spoken out against her and her tweets: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Bonnie Wright, Katie Leung, Chris Rankin, Eddie Redmayne. Some have been...less inspiring (Tom Felton, Evanna Lynch, looking at you two 👀)

I’m sending love to everyone right now. I wish I could say something more useful but I’ve spoken enough - I’ve made my opinion clear. I love you all, please stay safe.

[jinfilms]

@hobieshopie​ and @kimteahyung​ tagged me in this questionnaire style tag...thank u my loves i’m sorry i take so long (๑´ㅂ`๑) >

What do you prefer to be called name wise?

hannah but some people just say han 

When is your birthday?

may 7 

Where do you live?

north carolina mama yeehaw 

Three things you are doing right now?

finally enjoying a day off after like. too long lolol

listening to drama by txt

i just finished my coffee and a cream cheese pastry...i miss them already

Four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

bts if that counts

haikyuu!! mmmm i just think i’d like it if i gave it another chance 

red velvet bc i wanna get back into girl groups that still exist lol

kdrama community...it’s kinda hard bc i don’t like the way the female characters are often written to be honest, so i am open to suggestions :(

How is the pandemic treating you?

grocery store workers were considered essential (everything is open again in my town so there’s no difference in ‘essential’ and nonessential anymore lmao), so i never stopped working, i honestly can’t say a lot has changed which i’m thankful for :( i guess i could say that it made work more stressful but i don’t think i should complain 

A song you can’t stop listening to right now?

moon dance by nu’est i can’t even explain it other than that song makes me feel like i’m in love dslkfsd i’m the least ‘hopeless romantic’ person i know irl so it’s actually a really foreign feeling but it’s nice 10/10 i recommend that song for ur future playlists

Recommend a movie?

shoplifters (2017) by hirokazu kore-eda just go into it blind i promise u it’s worth it

How old are you?

21

School, university, occupation, other?

i’m working atm and i’ll go back to school someday but due to Circumstances i chose to focus on other things

Do you prefer hot or cold?

strictly cold...i never finished a hot drink and i hate being hot bc my body retains a lot of heat anyway

Name one fact others may not know about you:

Are you shy?

uhh yes but i do what i have to to get around i don’t have social anxiety or anything

Do you have any preferred pronouns?

Any pet peeves?

when people listen to music without earbuds i could lit erally rip their head off... also when people burp and sneeze etc around me i’m sorry i know it’s natural idk what to tell u 

also the fact that everything makes a noise... like even walking i don’t even wanna hear the sound of my own feet on the floor if i’ve got a headache again idk idk i just want some damn peace n quiet ! 

What’s your favorite “dere” type?

bambi

Rate you life 1-10; 

-10 but we’re getting there

What’s your main blog?

uhh it used to be @gusdapperton​ but i don’t care about any of the old stuff i used to blog about there anymore... if ur reading this and listen to gus dapperton and want that url then send me an ask or smthn and i’ll give it to someone who will use it lol

List your side blogs and what they are used for:

@gusdapperton​ was my film and tv blog 

@qirby​ was for anime and gaming stuff etc

those were my main two...i ran several networks and other blogs but i think i’m just going to archive like. everything and just focus on this blog bc i really care about a lot of my mutuals sjdlksjd it seems stupid to have had to many blogs but i can’t stand having all of my interests crammed into one dashboard it feels so messy and i don’t want to see everything all the time u know

despite everything i just said i saved @dreamchapter​ the other day just in case i wanted to make a txt/multi sideblog lolol

Is there anything you think people need to know about you before being friends with you?

uhh idk i’m really boring so lower ur expectations

for this i wanna tag @starlightstae​ @taechnological​ @eternalbulletproof​ @applejoon​ and @seokjjin​ no pressure tho ok? i hope u guys are doing well and safe in ur environments ♡

also @matchaminn​ tagged me in a really similar tag so i’ll answer the questions that weren’t on this one...bc i love u :(

sexuality

bi 

hogwarts house

hufflepuff

current time

2:24 pm / 14:24 

favorite animal

cats

cats or dogs

always cats. i said what i said

dream job

i used to go to school for teaching and psychology but if i were to go back tomorrow i think i’d choose something like digital art and graphic design...i dunno i’m scared of turning my passion into a career though i know i could potentially get sick of it and want to stop 

when i made this blog

january and i think the exact day was the 18th...literally 4 days after i found bts i made this blog lmao i didn’t even know their names but i was online when the black swan orchestra ver mv dropped and when i watched it i just Knew u know

reason for my url

agust d chefs kiss

anyways. i love u all thank u pls let me know if u are doing well from time to time i would like to know :( mwah

[ilguna]

hi- I’m not sure if you’re the right person to ask, but I wanted to know how to start a fanfic writing tumblr- I mean, I’m just not sure how to start since I’ve never posted anything on my account- I’m sorry if this is an inconvenience-

Don’t worry about it. I’m a little offended that you would think you’re coming to the wrong place 😂.

Imma break it down for you.

BTW this post is long bc I wanted to cover all bases

—

First of all, if you’re on tumblr mobile, then that’s fantastic and we’ll start with that first. If you’re on desktop, I would like to suggest getting it on your phone because it’s more accessible and easier to manage than doing it on the computer. The only time I go to the computer is when I’m going to post fics, but we’ll get there.

I know you said you’re wondering how to start posting fics but I gotta give you some advice before that. Because there are just some things I cannot stand when it comes to some fanfic blogs, alright?

Be easy on your color scheme. I wouldn’t put any bright colors because it could hurt someone’s eyes, and sometimes it looks really bad. Going along with that, you should be careful what your second color is on your blog (let’s say that your base color was a maroon, and then you’d choose a color similar to that/darker than that. It’ll be hard to read the things in your bio, and it’s frustrating)

This is obvious, but make sure you have a profile and header picture, it’s more appealing rather than tumblrs default.

Turn ON asks and then proceed to do it for anonymous questions, because that’s the only way you get requests. Some people do it off anon but that’s not as common.

You can do this on desktop and a safari browser. It’s not possible to do on mobile just yet. Open up safari > log in > little person icon in the top right > edit appearance. Scroll until you see “let people as questions” turn that on. Turn on anon, and edit the box to whatever you want. Keep it short

Turn off “share posts you like” and the following one below it. It’s a risky game to play when it comes to what you’re looking at and liking.

No submission posts, normally people don’t submit things anyway. Turn OFF “on blog advertising” and then that’s it. It automatically saves so you can just leave to the next screen imma bout to tell you about

IF you go to my blog on desktop, you’ll see that there’s a theme. My font is different, I have a different set up than most blogs, etc.

If you wanna mess around with that, scroll to the top of page (you should still be on the same page from the anon instructions) and tap “edit theme”

It might take a second to load, but you’ll get there.

THIS SCREEN IS VERY IMPORTANT.

Besides the fact that it lets you edit your theme, this is how you put in a Masterlist, and all other links you might want in your bio.

You said you haven’t written anything yet, so there isn’t a need for a Masterlist just yet. But when you DO start posting, please come back to me and I’ll let you know how to put one in your bio, okay? Nice and shiny for your future followers.

If you wanna change your theme go to browse themes, change it from “all themes” to “free themes”. If you like mine, it’s called “Accesible”. If you just want the font, get out of the theme screen and scroll the screen on the left. Turn ON “open dyslexic

Remember, you can do all of this on desktop too, it doesn’t have to be on safari

—

Now onto posting, I have some opinions that might offend my mutuals (oopsie)

I can’t tell the difference, but PERSONALLY, I think posting fics on tumblr from my phone is gross. But that’s also because I’m writing 1000+ words normally and it gets difficult to post

If you want to post fics with more than 100 paragraphs, then you have to go to desktop or maybe safari tumblr (I don’t post from safari tumblr so idk if it works) because tumblr says NO paragraphs after 100 on mobile. There is no restriction on computer

I write in Google Docs, because it’s neater and I’ve discovered some hate for Word after deleting some of the shit I wrote over and over. Plus it’s an app, and you can open it up on computer. Easy to use.

If you use Notes on your phone, or type directly onto a tumblr post, then that’s fine but you don’t know your word count and it’s a little difficult to navigate.

When it comes to formatting, I used to have it be really long. But I’ve narrowed it down to 3, sometimes 4 things.

Summary: this is where I put the request so the anon/person knows that it’s their request. (I copy n paste the entire request in the summary part, I don’t answer asks (requests) anymore because it’s easier to answer them after I posted).

Warnings: my permanent is swearing, and then I add on (what type) violence, murder, suic*de, gore, etc DEPENDING ON THE REQUEST

Word count: and I do this because I write long imagines sometimes and some people don’t want to sit through 5k words of boring shit

And the optional—Note: I put this if I thank someone for their patience on the request, if I say happy holidays or some shit like that. I don’t have notes on every post anymore because they just turn out being the same every time

Apart from that, give it a title (make it unique but not too long!) who it’s for and then copy and paste the fic in

I’m using my own posts as an example right here, okay. But I have the summary and all of that bolder because it’s easier to see, and I want it to be different from the actual post. Most fanfic writers do this.

I also put 2 —‘s between the authors note at the top and the fic to also make a difference there

Don’t have the entire fic italicized, it takes away the special part of italicizing a word

Finally, it’s tagging.

I cannot stress this enough, DO NOT tag things that have nothing to do with the post. It’s my biggest pet peeve and it’s because I can’t comprehend why people tag (for example) Katrina Stuart when it’s a fic OR A RANDOM POST about someone else

Instead, let’s keep it simple.

🌸 STOP 🌸

I forgot to mention this. But choose your username wisely. You can change it later on, but it’s a goddamn pain in the ass when you have 50+ fanfics you wrote and your Masterlist is nice and clean only to realize that you have to RELINK every post individually

Listen, I changed my username on my old blog, and it took me 8 hours ROUGHLY to relink and fix every individual Masterlist. I had to create new masterlists, with so many tabs open to fix it

Instead, change it before you start fics

If you wanna be a colby brock blog, I have a canon url (which means that it’s so fucking GOOD and I’m angry that i realized it was open only a month ago rather than when I created this account) and it’s colbysbrocks (it’s a plural canon url). And I have colbysecrets too. If you don’t like either of those, I have a couple of other ideas that I wrote down if you want them

🌸 okay continue 🌸

This is how you should tag:

(I’ll give an example after this)

Your username first, the person it’s about, the fandom (if it’s not Colby brock, then something like marvel, etc). Then the persons name, imagine, fanfic, x reader, and oneshot. Then if it was requested

EXAMPLE ONE:

Azurebrock, Colby brock, Colby brock imagine, Colby brock fanfic, Colby brock x reader, Colby brock oneshot, requested

Simple, right? You can even use this method for Wattpad too.

EXAMPLE TWO:

(This is Star Wars, im using my own username again)

Kylorenlovesyou, Kylo ren, Ben solo, kylo ren imagine, kylo ren fanfic, kylo ren x reader, kylo ren oneshot, Ben solo imagine, Ben solo fanfic, Ben solo x reader, Ben solo oneshot, Star Wars

Notice that I tagged both of his names. I do this because it draws more people in, and more people will be attracted to it (however, in the Star Wars fandom there’s a difference between Ben Solo and Kylo-Ren, so you would have to specify in the title Ex. Resistance (Ben Solo) or Struggle (Kylo-Ren). It would depend on which persona you’re using

This works for a couple of fandoms, like twilight and shit like that

EXAMPLE THREE:

(Final one, I just wanted to cover this base just in case)

If it’s a request for more than one person. Let’s say Colby Brock and Sam Golbach (like a Polyamorous relationship, if it’s just about a bunch of people, tag the people in it and don’t put the imagine, fanfic, x reader, oneshot after any of them, it doesn’t apply)

If it’s a poly relationship (or maybe more) then do everything you normally do for one person, and then just add on the second;

Azurebrock, Colby brock, Sam Golbach, Colby brock imagine, Sam Golbach imagine, etc

If you’re on desktop, I would suggest putting in a Read More (this goes BEFORE your fic but after the authors note, below the 2 —‘s). The way you do that is press enter, and hover over the new break in the fic.

Off to the right you’ll see a . . . Click that and then you have the read more. I would only suggest using this if there’s more than 500 words, so that if the fic is super long, it doesn’t take up the entire dash for the follower (it takes forever to scroll and it’s annoying

If you’re on mobile, it isn’t possible. Just post and you can go back and edit later if you have a computer

[themaskedwriter]

To Bucky With Love

Clues

Despite considering Marvel one of my main fandoms, my url was based on a certain show about two brothers hunting supernatural creatures for a long time.

My first language is not English and I’ve only been writing on here for a bit over two years.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Finding yourself travelling back to all the places your relationship with Bucky went through big changes, you send letters to the one you love, reminiscing in everything you went through together.

Warnings: Guns, injuries, a bit of blood and cursing. Cursive is the letter, the rest is the flashback.This is also the first part of a new series which will be continued on my account :)

Word Count: 2772

Dear Bucky, it’s been about a week since I left home. My first destination had to be the place where we met for the first time…well, the place where we were forced to spend time together. I remember the mission like it just happened yesterday, the way our eyes met during the fight, the way your body shielded mine and the way I dragged you through the streets of Jujuy. I hate you so much back then, I hated the fact that you single-handedly ruined my mission just to prove yourself. God, how much I wanted to kill you back then…

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Barnes. What the hell are you doing here?” you snapped at the brunette man that stood across from you, a dangerous twinkle in his eyes as his face was illuminated by the computer screens that covered the wall next to you.

“I’m doing my job, doll, just as you should be doing,” he replied, raising his brows in challenge.

As you were about to open your mouth to reply to the agent in front of you, you heard a low moan coming from your right, seeing the man on the ground reach for his gun. Without hesitation both Bucky and you raised your guns, your bullets hitting the centre of his head before he slumped backwards, finally out cold.

Huffing you strapped your gun back into its holster, “What even is your mission? What could possibly be more important than blowing this base into pieces?”

“I’m looking for a man. Drug-dealer, high risk. Has been killing everyone that got in his way for the last 20 years. Eduardo Lòpez, ever heard of him?”

You quickly nodded your head as your eyes scanned the room before settling on the man in front of you, “You are aware of the fact that he’s not in Argentina right now, yes?”

Bucky’s expression wavered, his lips pursing as he reached up to scratch his jaw, his eyes flickering away from you.

“I can’t believe it. You’re manipulating my entire mission, risking my life while you’re at it just for a single person that’s not even in this goddamn country! Low blow, Barnes, low blow. If you have a problem with me, you better say it now before I accidentally shot you and leave you in this facility before I blow it up,” you jabbed your finger into his firm chest, your anger rising with every passing second, the smug smile that returned onto Bucky’s face only aggravating you even more.

Before Bucky got to send another comeback into your direction the door to the monitoring room flew open, revealing several agents with their guns pointed at you.

“Lower your weapons and raise your hands, now,” the broad-shouldered man in front yelled at you in Spanish.

Raising your hands you slowly reached for your gun, pulling out of its holster and getting ready to place it on the floor in front of you. Glancing over to Bucky you met his eyes, nodding your head ever so slightly before quickly aiming your gun at the men, shooting two of them before kicking a chair in their direction to throw them off guard. Dropping beneath one of the many tables you crawled towards the door, hoping the guards would run towards you, which, luckily, they did, allowing you to shot them from close distance before you hurried through the door, Bucky leaning against the wall opposite of it, his hand pressed against his side, blood seeping through the space between his fingers. Once you were through the metal door you quickly kicked it shut, lifting the chair you had previously kicked in the direction of it against the door, locking the remaining guards inside and hopefully giving you at least some time to get out of the hallway and into a safer part of the facility.

“You okay?” you panted, pressing your hands to your knees as you leaned against the wall to catch your breath.

“Could be better,” Bucky huffed before removing his hand from the bullet wound on his side, taking a look at it just to press his hand back against it.

Looking left and right you made sure no one was entering the hallway you were in as you took a few steps towards the agent that had successfully ruined your mission, “We need to get you to a doctor. Come, I know a way out of here.”

“Well…that didn’t go as smoothly as I planned,” you tried to chuckle but all that came out were raspy breaths and your squeaky voice as you pressed yourself against the white wall of the hallway, bullet firing against the wall opposite of you, coming from where you were just standing a few seconds ago.

“Oh, you don’t say?” Bucky glanced at you from the other side of the stream of bullets flying your way.

You tried to fire your gun at the approaching guards but all you managed to do was hit the walls and floor, not having any sight on your targets.

“Do you have one of those explosives left?”

Patting down your body you soon found the device, pulling it out you held it up for Bucky to see, “Yeah, but I was planning to save this for getting us out of here.”

“To get out of here we need to survive first, doll, this might be our only way,” he yelled as the sounds of guns grew louder, the guards getting closer and closer to you by the second.

“Ugh, fine,” you groaned as you got ready to toss the explosive in the hallway to your right.

“Ready?”

You waited for Bucky to nod before you threw the little device as far as you could without properly aiming, hoping and praying to every divine force that it wouldn’t miss its mark. Crossing your fingers you began counting in your head.

One.

Two.

Three.

BOOM.

The red emergency light immediately went off, the alarm loud and shrill in your ears as you risked a glance into the hallway you threw the explosive into only to be greeted by the sight of bloodied and hurt guards laying scattered on the floor, rubble and debris covering most of the floor, leading to the gaping hole in the wall.

“Let’s go.”

Before you could react Bucky took your hand into his, dragging you towards your way outside of this hellhole, climbing over the guards and rubble in your way until you finally felt the warm breeze from outside brush against your dusty face.

“Finally,” you mumbled to yourself as your feet hit the green grass outside of the facility, casting a glance upwards to wait for Bucky to drop down beside you.

As soon as you heard the low thud of his feet colliding with the ground you began moving, eager to get out of this godforsaken place and away from the agent that ruined your mission. Just as you wanted to tell him to hurry up you felt his body colliding with yours, “Watch out!”

You heard the sound of the gunshot even before your body hit the ground, Bucky falling down somewhere beside you as you reached for one of your guns, firing it in the direction of the shots while hoping your bullet wouldn’t miss.

Risking a look you saw the machine gun slip from the guards hands, his body collapsing and falling out of the whole you had crawled through just a few moments before, allowing you to stand back up, brushing the dust from your pants while keeping your gun firmly in your hand in case of another unfortunate mishap.

“Alright, Barnes. Ready to get-“

The words you wanted to say got stuck in your mouth once you saw Bucky laying on the ground beside you, blood pooling around his thigh as he clutched his hand to the wound on his side.

“No. No, no, no. Goddammit, Barnes!”

“Come on, Barnes, we gotta get moving. I’m not letting you die in the middle of the street,” you hissed as you dragged the agent with you, one of his arms slung across your shoulders while the other continued to press against the bullet wound on his side.

“Oh, but you’re willing to let me die anywhere else?” he grunted out, his feet dragging over the uneven and bumpy pavement beneath you, stumbling over a loose stone.

Speeding up your steps you silently cursed him out, “Continue talking like that and I might just leave you right here.”

“You wouldn’t, doll, try explaining that to everyone back home.”

“Oh…for fuck’s sake. Just shut up,” you groaned, completely fed up with him.

First, he decided to ruin your mission, which was going perfectly smooth until he came crashing through the door, guns blazing, causing all sorts of hell to break loose and then he had the audacity to get shot, forcing you to ditch any sort of plan you had and improvise your way out. Your mission was supposed to be easy, sneak in, get the data, plant the explosives and get back out. But no, Mister Metal Arm had to ruin it for you. And then he even dared to push you to put of harm’s way, leaving you to drag him through the abandoned streets of the outskirts of San Salvador de Jujuy, your broken phone clutched in one hand while you were desperately looking for a way to get Bucky patched up.

Every house you passed seemed abandoned, the windows barricaded and dust collecting on their sills when you finally saw a single person at the end of the road, the woman idly sweeping the dirt and dust off her entrance, the windows of her house open and inviting. Letting out a sigh in relief at the sight of her you sped up your steps, Bucky barely being able to keep up with you but that didn’t matter to you in that moment, desperate to get off the street and take care of his wounds.

“Excuse me, señora? Please, we need help,” you asked in Spanish, not wanting to force her to adjust to a foreigner.

The woman looked up at you, her eyes widening at the sight of two beaten up agents at her doorsteps, before she quickly opened the door for you, ushering you inside as she locked the door and closed the curtains.

“Gracías.”

Dropping Bucky on the floor you took off your heavy gear, kneeling down beside him to take a look at the damage in front of you. Carefully you ripped off Bucky’s shirt, your hands hovering over the bullet wound before you collected yourself, your training reminding you of what to do in a situation like this.

“Could we get-“

Before you could finish your question she kneeled down beside you with a wet towel in her hands, holding it for you to take. Throwing a quick smile in her direction you took it out of her hands and began wiping away the blood that coated Bucky’s skin. Just as you wanted to ask for a needle and a threat the woman in front of you offered to you just what you needed. With shaking hands you tried to stitch up the wound on his side but as the adrenaline slowly wore off you couldn’t help but feel the effect of the past few hours get to you. A hand on your shoulder ripped you out of your thoughts, the woman whose place you crashed gently pushing you aside and taking the utensils from your hands, getting to work on Bucky’s injury, the man grunting slightly as the needle pierced through his skin.

“I-We’re sorry for barging in on you…”

“Maria, my name’s Maria. And you’re more than welcome here, child,” she said while quickly finishing the stitches.

Hours later you were both sitting on Maria’s couch, Bucky more slouched against the back to go easy on his treated wounds, both of you eating Empanadas while you explained your situation to her. You were left in a country you weren’t familiar with, no backup on their way to get you out of the small town and no way of contacting them since your communication devices got destroyed in the fight. Fortunately for you, Maria was familiar with injured people crashing at her place, whether it was kids that scraped their knees or adults with serious problems, she was the one everyone consulted first; that was until people started to move away due to the treat of Eduardo Lòpez and his gang as well as the Hydra base close by.

“You need to rest before you’re going anywhere on your own,” Maria scolded you both as you bought up the topic of getting back home, her eyes lingering especially on Bucky who was trying to stay awake, not showing in how much pain he was in.

“Do you have a phone I could borrow, so I can contact a friend to pick us up?” you asked, worried about your fellow agent, even if you never worked with him before, him basically behind a stranger to you, you still cared about him. He saved your life after all, and he seemed nice enough, the fact that he wasn’t bad to look at was only another nice extra.

“Sure, follow me.”

Maria led you into her kitchen, handing you her phone before grabbing a glass of water and some painkillers to give to Bucky before heading back into the living room, leaving you alone in her kitchen.

You dialled the number you knew like the back of your hand, tapping your foot as you waited for the person on the other end to pick up the phone.

“Romanov.”

“Oh, thank god, Nat. We’re stranded in Jujuy in Argentina and I can’t make contact with anyone else since my phone got hit. Can you get us out of here?”

“Wait, wait, who’s ‘us’? I thought you went on a solo mission,” your close friend and mentor asked at the other end of the line.

Sighing you ran a hand over your face, “Bucky Barnes. He…kinda ruined my mission and got shot in the process. We found shelter at the place of a local but we don’t wanna bother her too much.”

You could hear some papers being moved around, the clicking of a keyboard and Natasha speaking to someone through the phone before she picked it back up, “Alright, I’ll see what I can do. Do you have your coordinates? I’ll try to get to you as soon as possible.”


“Thank you, Nat,” you sighed in relief, happy someone would get you back home soon.

“No problem. Oh, and (Y/N)?”

“Yes?”

“Do me a favour and punch Barnes for me. Also, tell him to get his shit together, he’ll know what that means,” Natasha chuckled slightly before saying her goodbye, prompting you to hang up the phone and give it back to Maria who was leaning against the doorframe to her living room.

“You are more than welcome to stay until your friend picks you up,” she smiled at you.

After heading back to the living room you let yourself fall onto the sofa next to Bucky, softly punching his arm.

“Hey! What’s that for?”

You shrugged as you leaned back against the back of the couch, tugging your feet underneath you, “From Natasha. She also told me to tell you to, and I’m quoting her here, ‘get your shit together’. Apparently, you’ll know what that means.”

I didn’t thank you enough for what you did back then because even though you ultimately ruined my mission you also saved my life, and made it less miserable by stepping into it. For all I know, it was Nat who just set it up but even if it was all her planning, I’m happy things went the way they did. You were willing to sacrifice your life for me without even knowing me and for that, I will be grateful until the day I die.

I’m gonna stay with Maria these next few days, her arms have welcomed me once again. She was beyond sad to hear that you wouldn’t be making it but she gave me some Empanadas for me to take back home.

Home. I won’t be home for some time.

Anyways, I’m gonna write you another letter from my next destination, the city we had our first date in. Oh, I still remember how nervous I was. But that’s for the next letter.

I love you and I can’t wait to see you again, (Y/N)

[snarky-gourmet]

She deleted so I guess all of you got what you wanted. She won’t answer messages on kakao or texts. She didn’t deserve this.

Sorry this took me more than a day to get to, I don’t usually check my inbox unless I get a notif, and then it took a while to write everything out as it is quite lengthy and then on top of that the incidents related to this topic kept persisting literally as I wrote it :)

I checked the time stamp on this when I saw it and it seems like you sent this about an hour after I talked to Madds’ friend yesterday–we had a very civil and pleasant talk that cleared up a lot of stuff and she informed me that Madds is doing just fine, which I’m extremely glad about. **Edit: on March 21st, 2 days after the first conversation between us, I received messages from Madds’ friend to alert us that Madds has contacted an attorney, and then continued to falsely accuse those of us in the group chat, including those who have never had ANY involvement in this from the beginning of the disagreement until now, of stalking and harassing her. Those screenshots will be included at the end of the post.**

There seems to be a lot of rumours going on and a lot of people are under the wrong impression given the fact that Maddison has spread falsehood after falsehood in order to make herself look like the victim in a situation that should have been initially so insignificant, there was no valid reason for victim-hood on either side.

This conflict with Madds has been ongoing for several months now, and all of us involved are honestly done with the false accusations, vague-posting, and borderline harassment. As a result, the decision to make this post was reached.

This post’s purpose is to clear our names and make it known that the things Madds has been saying about us are not true. We do not wish for ANYONE to go after Madds or her friends. We would never want harm to come to her. All we want is for this to stop, and according to her party, that’s what she wants as well, so here we go.

Let me make it clear:

None of us from the fandom-oriented group chat Madds used to be in, and then left on her own after a disagreement, have ever:

-Stalked Madds through her public blog or through any other platforms

-Bullied her off the site

-Stabbed her in the back

-Sent her anon hate/death threats or asked others to on our behalf

-Done anything at all that was malicious towards Madds at any time

The only times any of us have contacted Madds personally since she left the group chat have been to try and reason with her, to try and console her, to try and ask her to stop making vague posts about us, to stop blaming us for the anons she was getting, and to ask her to stop trying to turn shared friends/mutuals against us and let the incident go.

The only times any of us have been to Madds’ new blog after she deleted her old one have been to check on her well being, as we would never want harm to come to her, as well as when she has mentioned any of us by name and people who were shared friends/mutuals brought it to our attention.

I will not be mentioning all names of people involved in this conflict as none of us from the group chat at least, wish to drag any more people into this mess who really didn’t have anything to do with it.

Until this point, my personal role in all of this has been little more than a bystander. I am still an active member of the group chat that Madds left, and I know everyone in there very well. I have witnessed what has happened since the start and with the permission of everyone else from the gc, I’m happy to provide answers as to what has actually been going on.

Below the cut is a timeline containing all screenshots we have of everything that has gone on from the beginning of the conflict leading up to a few days ago now, when Madds apparently made the choice to delete her blog completely unprompted by any of us, who were all making it a point to distance ourselves more than before after she threatened to call the cops on us in a text post because she thought we were stalking her.

Tw for in-depth mentions of suicide baiting and implications of self-harm among other things that may be distressing for some to read.

–

-

The initial disagreement that started all of this took place on November 21st last year, and it is quite frankly, embarrassing and unnecessary that such a small scale disagreement escalated to the extent that it did, and is still ongoing despite our (the gc’s) attempts to reason with, and then when that didn’t work, cease contact with Madds.

We were discussing Key’s upcoming album when Madds (sunshinekibum) brought up how she wishes that sh/awols were more hyped about it, which was a valid point of discussion to be made.

Madds expressed how she felt that she and other lockets couldn’t be happy without others having a negative reaction to it. Kiri brought up the fact that it was close to December, and therefore it was not anyone’s fault if they were not in high spirits, but made it clear that lockets had every right to be happy and there was nothing holding them back from that. Madds apologised, appearing to have taken it the wrong way, then removed herself from the server.

After she had left, Kiri messaged Madds via tumblr to talk things through.

Kiri reiterated that due to the timing of Key’s album being released, she and some other sh/awols were having a hard time being excited and clarified that her words were not meant to be taken as a personal attack on Madds. She apologised, as did Madds, but Madds did not understand that Kiri was not claiming her words to be insensitive. She instead appeared to be using the incident to beat herself up. Kiri pointed out to Madds that she had made a valid point and the way she felt was justified, so there was no reason she should be so harsh on herself.

Madds then explained the reason behind why she left the group chat, citing a difference in viewpoints as well as a desire to not cause any harm, which she had never caused in the first place. Efforts were made to try to get her to see that and possibly invite her back to the gc on her own terms.

Kiri brings up how Madds is misunderstanding her words and feelings about the disagreement in the group chat and doesn’t seem to be interested in seeing her side to things. Madds responds by clarifying that her words were not aimed at Kiri specifically but rather meant as a generalised statement from what she had personally seen. She also acknowledged that proximity to December as a factor, but also stated that she still felt as if she were going to face criticism for being excited by those who were not. Kiri then defends herself, citing Madds’ word choice and tone as the reason for her own words in the group chat.

She continues and points out that Madds is the one beating herself up in this situation, and that no one thought ill of her and no one was harmed by Madds’ words. Kiri then clarifies again what exactly the source of the disagreement was, and requests that Madds does not twist her words as a means to punish herself. Madds apologises.

After this, a bit of time passed, and Madds changed her Tumblr URL to “imaginemp3″. During this same time, there was a post made by Madds that Kiri later alludes to, that appears to reference the disagreement that happened between her and Kiri in the gc, suggesting that she had resentment, or at the very least, remaining displeasure with Kiri for said disagreement. It was later deleted.

Shortly after, Kiri deactivated her previous blog due to an extremely high amount of anon hate and desire to distance herself from the drama at hand. A mutual friend of ours and Madds was also receiving such anons.

After Kiri deactivated, Madds began receiving anons as well, written in the same tonal and vocabulary pattern as the ones Kiri and the mutual friend received, suggesting that they were all sent by the same person. We suspect that Madds is the one who sent them to Kiri, the other recipient, and herself as well. This is the event that Madds claims was all of us in the gc “bullying her off the site”. None of us sent those anons to her. Unfortunately, no screenshots of the ones Kiri nor the other person received exist due to A) the upsetting nature of the messages and B) at the time they received the messages, there was no reason to save evidence of them, seeing as how it was on in retrospect that we suspected Madds of being behind them.

Above are some of the anons that Madds had received, accusing her for being the reason Kiri had deactivated and for suicide baiting her. As a result, Madds makes the last post at the top of the image.

Thinking the worst, many of the people from the group chat and who followed Madds reached out to her via dms and text.

Among those people were Izzy (keyjapandebut) and someone who will be referred to as Sunny, as it is unnecessary to bring their name into undesired drama. Sunny is the 3rd person besides Kiri and Madds to have received the anons just mentioned.

Izzy initiates the conversation and tries to make sure that Madds is alright after the anons she got. Madds deflects, expressing concern for Kiri as priority even after Izzy states that Kiri is fine. Madds continues to place all of the blame on herself unnecessarily. This is when she alludes to the vent post previously mentioned, denying that it was about Kiri or the subject of their disagreement. (Due to the timing of the anons that both Kiri and then Madds received however, as well as the wording in Madds’ post, the opposite appears to be true. Izzy attempts to talk Madds down from the place she was in, and he tries to reason with her.

After Izzy’s first attempt to explain to Madds that she can still talk to Kiri if she needed to, Madds claims that she had been blocked by Kiri on the platforms she could have reached her on, which was not true according to what Kiri had shown us. The most likely explanation, if Madds had indeed sent 4 different discord messages to Kiri, but they had not been delivered, is that since they no longer had a shared server, discord would not deliver Madds’ messages to Kiri. However, when a message does not go through on discord, a bot will reply to the sender with the reason why.

Madds then states that she had requested Sunny to give her phone number to Kiri.

(*There is a missing screen shot before the first message from Izzy in this set. They were taken to show Kiri during this last attempt of his to mediate between the two, then deleted from his device immediately after, so he does not remember the context of the first message.)

Madds once again just asks for Izzy to deliver the message that she says sorry to Kiri and the rest of us. At the same time that Izzy is talking to Madds, he is delivering what Madds asks him to to Kiri. Kiri asks Izzy to relay to Madds that all she wants from this is for Madds to move on. To this request, Madds says she cannot and says that we “can all go be fine without her”. Izzy asks what Madds meant by this, reassures her that what she is suggesting is not necessary for a resolution, and that she had not caused Kiri the amount of distress she thinks she caused her from the disagreement in the gc. To this, Madds seems to shut off, repeating “okay im glad she’s okay”. Izzy picks up on the fact that Madds isn’t really listening anymore, and points it out. Madds continues to just say that “we don’t have to worry about her”.

Izzy attempts to explain as someone who was still on good terms with Madds at this point in time that ceasing all concern over her wasn’t possible, but Madds argued, claiming that since we “all have each other there’s no reason any of us need her”. Izzy sees that as long as Madds is acting like this and continuing to make herself out to both be the sole reason behind all of this as well as the victim at the same time, and tries to reach a resolution with Madds. Madds then says goodbye, that she’ll be okay, and that she is sorry for causing trouble, but will “make sure it doesn’t ever happen again” (that clearly didn’t happen). This was Izzy’s last interaction with Madds.

None of us blamed her for anything that was going on at this point, nor did we ever say anything to imply that we wanted her gone or to feel guilt. All we wanted was for her to stop beating herself up so much–as none of us saw a reason why the disagreement back in November should have caused such distress–and to listen to the words we had to say, as we were genuinely concerned for Madds’ well being.

It was only after later examination of the language that she used during her talk with Izzy, the fact that Madds was still connecting this back to the rather small disagreement that took place, her initial reaction to the disagreement, and the eventual realisation that all of the anons that had been received by Madds, Kiri, and Sunny had the same syntax, that an inkling of suspicion ever rose up in regards to Madds. Izzy in particular became suspicious of Madds due to his first encounter with her when her url was peachykibummie. Madds was a stranger to him, a stranger receiving suicide-baiting anons with the exact same syntax as the ones she, Kiri, and Sunny received. Izzy’s efforts to console her led to a friendship that is now history.

A little while after Izzy and Madds had their conversation, Madds and Sunny had talked. Sunny had told Madds that Kiri wished to speak with her.

(Kiri: Blue Text —— Madds: Grey Text)

The second message that Kiri sends addresses the apparent overreaction Madds has displayed since their disagreement. At this point, suspicion that Madds was acting like this out of desire for some sort of attention was starting to rise up.

To Kiri’s questioning, Madds acts as if she does not understand what Kiri is referring to. Kiri was aware of the way Madds had spoken in the chat with Izzy, as he had been the middleman between Kiri and Madds.

At the bottom of the first image in the set/top of the second image, Kiri brings up the fact that she did not receive any sort of messages from Madds as she had claimed from the conversation with Izzy. Kiri also brings up the post that Madds had made that seemed to have been about her and that seems to have kicked off the series of anons that Kiri, Madds, and Sunny all got.

Madds responds by claiming that she never lied and that Kiri deleted and blocked her over the post she had made, when in reality, Kiri had deactivated due to the anons, and denies that the post was about Kiri, despite the subject matter of the post being the same as the disagreement right down to the details.

(Last text cut off on the bottom reads “Move on. I have.”)

In this series of texts Madds does not understand that everyone was scared for her and that is why multiple individuals checked up on her after she made an alarming goodbye post after the anons she got were suicide baiting her. She then tries to turn the tables on Kiri and accuses her of being the one who is still upset over the disagreement, when the thing Kiri is actually upset over is the post, the anons, Madds essentially disregarding everyone’s concern while attempting to cause guilt at the same time, and then lying about several different things that have happened.

In Kiri’s message she brings up that it was believed that Madds was the one behind all of the anons, as supported by a multitude of details about them. She then clarifies the fact that people checked on her out of concern, as previously mentioned. Kiri also brings up the apparent guilt-tripping that Madds is doing and mentions that she wishes that Madds gets help, but doesn’t wish for Madds to use her as a means to punish herself, which is what she was doing. Lastly, Kiri expresses that she only wanted to ensure that Madds was alright, and that at the end of it all, nothing in the disagreement was important enough for all of this to come out of it.

Those were the last messages exchanged until December 28th.

On December 28th, Kiri has messaged Madds prefacing her request that she drop the situation once and for all after after Kiri had heard from Sunny that Madds was still not past the conflict, and had worked Sunny up enough to cause serious upset, with an apology. Kiri then brings up the fact that she blocked Madds in an attempt to put everything behind them and create distance.

Madds retorts that she had not tried to contact anyone except for Sunny since Kiri had blocked her. Madds then argues that what she says to Sunny about Kiri, who is, once again, someone who is a friend of both Kiri and Madds at this point, is none of her business and that Kiri has “her clean break’ due to the fact that Madds has not talked to her directly.

While it is true that Madds had not spoken to Kiri personally, she had tried to turn Sunny against Kiri, making Kiri out to be malicious towards Madds, and Madds herself the victim. That is what Kiri refers to in her first message in the second picture.

Madds says that it was an honest question for Sunny, and that she is allowed to ask questions and have her own opinions like everyone else. No one had implied that she was not allowed to have her own thoughts and ask questions to Sunny, the question was simply why she had done so if she had supposedly moved on. Kiri acknowledges Madds’ point, and continues asking what Madds’ goal was in asking if she really wanted nothing to do with her.

Madds responds by claiming that her inquiry to Sunny was out of concern for Sunny. Kiri then brings up the fact that while doing so, Madds had caused a significant level of distress to Sunny. Madds responds, suggesting that she did not understand how she had hurt Sunny. Kiri explains that there wouldn’t be a point due to Madds sole response to previous attempts at both Sunny and Kiri explaining how she has caused them harm has been that she “saw how it could come off that way” while never acknowledging what she had done. Kiri then elaborates by telling Madds that Sunny had said to Kiri that Madds had breached Sunny’s trust by attempting to turn her against Kiri.

Madds says that she is getting different stories on the matter, but apologizes for causing issues for Sunny and Kiri. Madds then brings up that her hurting Sunny does not excuse Kiri from hurting Sunny, which was never an argument Kiri tried to make in the situation. Madds also brings up that she wishes to continue the cease of contact that was previously between her and Kiri, and attempts to deflect any further discussion on the matter by claiming that Sunny does not want to be in the middle, which she would not have been if Madds had not tried to turn Sunny against Kiri.

Kiri points out that Madds has no knowledge of how she and Sunny had resolved things between them, and brings attention to the fact that Kiri has not mentioned Madds to Sunny or anyone else, but Madds was in fact mentioning Kiri in poor regards to Sunny, and that was the issue currently at hand.

Madds claims that Kiri is the one upset, and not herself, despite the fact that she had attempted to turn Sunny against Kiri for no apparent reason. Madds again cites concern for Sunny as being the motive behind asking why Sunny was still friends with Kiri. Madds apologises that her actions had hurt Kiri but does not feel as if she was in the wrong for her actions as they were supposedly out of concern for Sunny. She then claims again that she had let the disagreement go a while ago.

Kiri, done with being given the run-around by Madds, suggests a mutual agreement between the two of them to not bring each other up in any capacity any more, and that the two of them part ways and have their peace. Madds responds negatively, does not agree to the proposition, and again brings up that Kiri had contacted her first, which would not have happened had Madds not upset Sunny, and again pushes that what she says to others is none of Kiri’s business, apparently even if it directly involves Kiri.

To this, Kiri says that Sunny is not Madds’ friend, and Madds deflects by saying that Kiri and Sunny have different opinions on that matter and that it is not her issue. The last messages are sent by Kiri and are a request for Madds to gain maturity when dealing with conflict.

After this, there was no contact between any of us and Madds for a significant period of time. Madds had deleted her blog of her own volition. We had no reason to bring up her name in any capacity in the group chat, therefore we didn’t.

When things had settled, Kiri had created a new blog. Sometime during this duration, Madds had also remade and began claiming that we bullied her off the site. She began making vague posts that were in regards to us as well as posts that mentioned Kiri’s name and old URL specifically. These posts ranged from petty to the more malicious ones that were of Madds telling people the falsehood that we drove her off Tumblr.

There was no stalking involved to find her new blog, and to accuse us of such a thing is ludicrous. We are all in the same fandom, and due to this, Madds’ new blog was stumbled upon. We had no idea it was actually her until people who knew us alerted us of easytolovemp3 (Madds) talking shit about us, specifically Kiri. 2 and 2 were put together. Still then, only a handful of us who were actively present in the gc’s conversation at this time actually knew this was Madds, as the rest of us, namely myself and 1 other individual, were at our jobs at the time. Izzy and Kiri both blocked easytolovemp3 as soon as they knew it was Madds, not wishing to have contact with her.

Below is an image of a one of the petty incidents, essentially falsely accusing Kiri of being a kboo. This was brought to our attention through someone who was a shared mutual of both Madds and Kiri on their new blogs. You can see Kiri mentioned by name, and that is how this got around to us.

We were never actively dwelling on Madds’ new blog (or stalking as she put it) and until 2 weeks ago, two of us still didn’t know her new URL. One of us only found out yesterday. As a result, we do not have screenshots of all of the things she said during this time, nor did we save any of the screenshots others sent to us. The thought that this would be a still escalating issue at this point did not cross our minds back then, and honestly? We didn’t want to save the needlessly upsetting posts Madds had made.

Eventually, Kiri started receiving anon hate on her new blog and quietly abandoned it.

Sunny and Madds are still in contact at that point. Due to unrelated reasons, Izzy had deleted his blog some time in December. He recreated a new one this month with the purpose to have it as an art blog. It does not have his english name on it and the focus was on a different fandom.

Now we get to the point on the timeline that took place last week (the week of March 11th).

I had direct messaged Izzy on discord asking if he knew that Madds had deleted all of her posts except for several alarming and concerning ones, and he checked it out. I had gotten word from this from a friend. This was the first time that I had been to Madds’ blog and the first time I even knew this was her.

On her blog, everything was deleted except for posts of her once again accusing us of stalking her, as well as her essentially suggesting that she was going to commit suicide.

Both Izzy and I were extremely worried for Madds, as we would never want anything bad to happen to her. Despite the fact that she had accused the gc of stalking, bullying her off the site, sending her death threats, stabbing her in the back, etc., the fact that it seemed like she was going to harm herself was extremely upsetting. She is someone who we used to be friends with, after all.

In the first image, Madds claims in the tags of the bottom post that half of us have her blocked, which was not true. Only Izzy on his old blog and Kiri on her new one had her blocked. Izzy did not yet have Madds blocked on the newest blog he had just made. Everyone else in the gc had also not blocked her because some of us didn’t know about her blog until the most recent post about us “bullying her off tumblr” came to our attention and some of us had absolutely no involvement with the original disagreement and therefore, had no reason to even think about Madds. Kayden, for example, never had her blocked and had no involvement in any of this besides his proximity to Kiri and being in the group chat. We had indeed not interacted with her, but her claim that half of us had her blocked is incorrect.

We never sent her any of the anons she got on her imaginemp3 account, therefore her claims that we ruined the “one place she felt safe” and “ruined almost all her friendships” have no grounds and seem to be made purely for the sake of getting attention. Again, we strongly suspect that she was the one who sent her own self those anons. Additionally, if you recall the conversations Madds had with Kiri, she is told what exactly she did wrong: the issue was not the trivial disagreement back in November of last year, but the way she was spreading rumours, twisting words, and trying to turn people against us. Her claim to be the one “crying about it almost daily struggling with figuring out what she did wrong” makes no sense.

Shortly after we viewed the post, she had blocked both Izzy and I. Odd since neither of us had made contact with her or mentioned her in any way. It is unclear how she got Izzy’s new blog’s URL as his blog is no longer Sh/inee-oriented, has his English name no where on it, and no one outside of the group chat was privy to his new blog belonging to him. This, along with the timing of some of the vague posts Madds made previously, lead us to the conclusion that we believe someone in our group chat was essentially serving as a spy and sending Madds information on us. It does not add up any other way. The person/people who were possible suspects were removed from the group chat and we have had no further incidents directly tied to our suspicions.

On the left there is a new post coming after the ones in the left-hand image from the last set. On the right are more anons that she got.

The message on the top is the only reason Izzy and I continued checking on Madds’ blog at this point despite both of us now being blocked. It was to check on someone who seems to have posted a final goodbye–that’s what you do when you’re worried about someone, and we had more than reason to be worried.

Please take note of the one anon with the “x” signing the end of their message for later reference.

Above is an image of the post Madds had made after the ones in the previous set. Izzy had checked Madds’ blog early in the morning of last Tuesday, the 19th, to see if she was alright. He messaged me to tell me about it, as Madds was now threatening legal action against us, and I checked for myself, extremely alarmed.

In this post you can see a whole list of accusations Madds has against us, some very bitter adjectives, a lot of nasty names, and of course, the threat to contact the police. The nature of this post speaks for itself, so I don’t really feel the need to dissect it too much. “Terrified to make any move online because I knew you all would be waiting to ruin me again,” however, is especially interesting due to the fact that she was the one slandering Kiri’s name in particular, and every single time Kiri got a new blog, she received an avalanche of anons extremely similar to the others she had gotten before, some even bringing up personal matters that she only ever mentioned in the privacy of the group chat.

Considering the fact that we had done nothing in this extensive list, and she would have known this considering she was the one who had fabricated these baseless accusations, her threats to call the police on a group entirely composed of minorities, the majority being non-white and not a single one of us being cishet, honestly comes off as insidious.

(Some anons that were extremely similar in nature have been omitted due to the length of this post.)

On the left side of the screen shot, the first anon censors out Kiri’s most well known past URL, blingblingis. Madds clarifies that she was previously imaginemp3 before she deleted that blog and remade. “What she tried to pull with me,” alludes to the fabricated stalking, bullying, and other false accusations directed at Kiri and the rest of us. Madds then mentions in the tags that she knows that Kiri has a new blog, however she claims to not know the URL.

The second image in the screenshot can be taken as proof that Madds had spread rumours about Kiri bullying her off the site. Unless Madds sent this anon to her own self, in which case it is evidence of something else.

Please continue to note the “x” signing the end of that anon.

After taking note of all of this, Izzy and I both decided that it was in our best interest to no longer check on Madds even out of concern for her safety. We didn’t want for her to mistake that as stalking and push her towards legal action. It was unclear how Madds even knew we were checking on her at this point.

Later that day, I briefly and vaguely mentioned in the dms to a tumblr user I am friends with what was going on. Without me mentioning Madds by name, only (to be read in sarcastic tones) “How great it was to have someone who you used to be friends with threatening to call the cops on you and your friends over falsified accusations of stalking, harassing, intimidation, and bullying, all because she didn’t know how to handle a tiny fight over kpop,” she, who will be referred to as Moon, immediately knew who I was talking about.

As it turns out, Moon and Madds had spoken before, and Moon told me in a separate message that Madds was giving out a list of names of everyone in the group chat who she was accusing of stalking her, to those who messaged her asking for it. She also mentioned that Madds had told her the fabricated story of everything she claimed we had done to her, which made “us all sound fucking awful”.

The next day, Moon alerted me that Madds had deleted her tumblr out of the blue.

About an hour after Moon had told me that, Madds’ friend, who I mentioned way back at the very beginning of this post, messaged me.

Due to the fact that this individual is a minor that Madds has dragged into a dispute between adults and used as a middleman, they will be referred to as Nova to protect their identity. Please do not ask for their url. Please do not seek them out.

Nova begins interrogating me, who had no in-depth involvement prior to checking on Madds’ blog during her most recent alarming series of posts. Nova demands to know why the supposed “stalking” is going on “even though no one seems to want to talk to her after all of this” (correct!)

I clarify that none of us are stalking Madds, nor have ever stalked her or acted with any form of malice towards her. I also bring up the fact that I didn’t even know easytolovemp3 was Madds until my friend had seen the post making false accusations against us and told me. The fact that she did not have me blocked until after I looked at her blog is also something I brought light to, as well as the fact that the only time any of us from the gc have made contact with her since she left have been to ask her to stop posting about us.

Nova then presses for why we all still wanted to know about Madds and expresses that she thinks that it would’ve been better for us all just to leave it.

I do my best to remain extra civil during the exchange, as I do not wish to make things somehow worse than being threatened with legal action.

At the top of the left side, Nova has sent another message directly following her last one, asking for further clarification on the situation that’s taking place.

I provide a watered down and brief summary of what had happened to that point. I also state that the only reason anyone from the gc even knew about Madds’ new blog was due to the fact that she had literally mentioned Kiri by name. That Madds’ name was only brought up when Madds herself had done something directly affecting any of us, and that was also the only time Kiri had contacted her, was also brought up.

Nova asks how word got around that Madds remade and I clarify again that it was due to the fact that she had mentioned Kiri by name and everyone who knew put 2 and 2 together.

Nova presses again to know if we’re still worried about her, and I answer by saying that we are just worried about whether she may hurt herself, but no one has checked on her blog recently due to the fact that we don’t want our concern to be taken as “stalking”.

Nova accepts my explanation and then claims that Madds is alright and is “pretty much completely moved on now”, which is exactly the impression we all got from being threatened with legal action (this is sarcasm).

Not wanting to stir any issues between Nova and myself, as the conversation was actually going in a very civil manner, I say that I am glad that Madds is alright after her previous posts.

Nova thanks me for answering the questions and I assume that we are done with That.

However, on the 21st I received the first message on the right side of the screen shot from Nova.

Sunny has stated that she got the same message from Nova. She tried to calmly explain herself and Nova replied by telling her she doesn’t have the right to feel upset, in spite of Sunny’s urging that she didn’t do anything.

Nova notifies me that Madds has followed through with her threat of legal action in the form of contacting an attorney, and has named a handful of us from the group chat that she has accused of stalking and harassing her. She then tells me to pass along the message, which I do.

I write back, asking Nova to tell Madds that none of us have done the things she is accusing us of, and now attempting to prosecute us for, and that I am planning to make a post with every single screen shot of proof we are in possession of proving that she has lied and fabricated every single part of her story she has spread around about us as a response to this anon I am answering right now. I then pass along the promise from the gc that we all plan to fully cooperate if Madds gets an attorney, as we have done nothing wrong. This promise still stands.

Nova starts out by demanding to know how I knew her name, to which I respond that Kiri had told me who she was when I passed her warning of legal action along. I then begin questioning Nova as to what exactly Madds wants from all of this, as it has been literally months, and not only has she not let it go, but she has progressively made the situation worse for every single person involved, and has even dragged people who were never initially involved into it.

To my question, Nova claims that all Madds wanted was “to be left alone”. Nova then states that she remade with the intent of none of us ever finding her again, despite Madds mentioning Kiri by name, and then carries on to imply that it was somehow unthinkable that myself, Kiri, and the rest of the gc had access to Madds’ public blog that well over half of us were never blocked from. Additionally, Nova brings up the fact that Kiri had vented to Sunny about the fact that Madds was still not letting things go between them and was talking shit about all of us without any provocation whatsoever on any of our behalves. Nova also claims that “none of this would have happened if Kiri had just left her blog alone and stopped dragging (people?) into it” despite the fact that Kiri, nor any of us were actively “stalking” Madds’ blog, and we were all trying to stay away from her. Once again: Madds was the one dragging people into this. Nova again reiterates her claim that Madds “just wanted to be left alone and requests for all of us to “let it be over”, which is something we were all very much trying to do before shit hit the fan.

I make it clear that “Izzy blocked Madds as soon as he found out it was her in order to prevent any contact with her. Alex hasn’t been in the gc in forever. Kayden’s only association with this is that he is in the group chat. Kiri only found out about Madds’ new blog due to the fact that Madds kept on vagueing about her” (and blocked her immediately)  and that due to the fact that we are all in the same fandom, it’s not as far fetched at all as Nova, and apparently Madds, are claiming it to be that Madds public blog was found out by us when people notified us of the slander going on.

Nova only says “She’s gone you don’t have to worry about it” in response to my message.

I bring up the fact that Madds is the only one still hung up over everything, and point out that we never talk about her unless she has done something to slander us recently, as we have no reason to. Again, I make it clear that we never did any of the things Madds claims we did and that she has painted herself as the victim in what, in reality, was a victimless disagreement. Lastly, I express exasperation with the situation, stating I don’t know what else Nova wants me to say here.

Nova responds by repeating that Madds is gone, which sounds like she is suggesting she is now dead in order to make us feel guilty. Thanks! Shame on you.

From this point until otherwise noted, it is a collection of accounts from Sunny as well as texts between Kiri and Alex to further back everything up.

Here is Kiri messaging Alex to confirm that Alex has only talked to Madds once, when they had messaged her after the initial disagreement and Madds was receiving anons telling her to kill herself among other things.

This is a quote from a conversation between Sunny and Madds after Sunny found out that Madds had posted threatening to call the cops on us. Screenshots might be able to be retrieved, but the original conversation between the two has been deleted since it took place.

Sunny: whatever you do, I am begging you to leave Izzy out of this. Please think about what the consequences could be about calling the cops on a mentally ill trans black man. Please.

Madds: I don’t care. If he wasn’t involved he should have nothing to worry about. Maybe he should have thought about that.

Here is a screenshot of texts between Kiri and Sunny discussing that Madds had then told the same thing to Sunny that she had said about Izzy:

Sunny has also provided the following statements:

“She (Madds) would often message me to ask how I feel about this stuff and said “don’t you know they hate me for things I didn’t do” and then mock me when I said I was not understanding.”

“(Madds) Suicide baited me when she knows that’ll work to scare me because of my PTSD.” This is in reference to the fact that Sunny’s childhood best friend killed herself and Sunny had confided this information to Madds when they were on friendly terms.

“She sends me this shit whenever I unblock her to tell her to stop posting about y’all, then threatens to delete and/or hurt/kill herself when I don’t feel sorry for her:

“

Sunny has also stated that she received this same exact anon that I am answering right now! That is so interesting and not at all suspicious or questionable!

Now if I can please ask you to recall the anons with the x signing the end of their messages.

This is a screenshot provided by Kiri (Kirious) of an anon an unrelated blog had received while she and Madds were still friends, before the conflict had started.

In this screenshot of the conversation in the group chat, you can see a photo sent by Kiri of that anon, calling blingblingis a “known bully and liar” as well as “literal trash”. The anon then tells the blog to turn off anon if Kiri sends her “minions”, presumably meaning the rest of us in the gc, after them. The message is signed with an “x”. We suspect that this was Madds sending that anon to that blog due to the fact that it is signed with an x just like the ones Madds had gotten.

Also just like the one that Madds’ friend, Nova had received:

(Screen shot taken by me after Nova messaged me yesterday and before Kiri told me who she was. I had visited Nova’s blog trying to figure out who the hell I was talking to)

The common use of the word “minions” is also a very interesting coincidence. Make of those what you will, but it’s clear that it’s likely either Madds herself or someone “doing her bidding for her”. They have censored Kiri’s name out.

Several of the anons that Madds was receiving longer ago, before this mess, that caused Izzy to initially reach out to Madds at the start of their friendship were also tagged with x’s.

Lastly, but still related, here is a screenshot of the group chat when Kiri got anons mentioning her home life, something that she only discussed in the group chat, and therefore, was only known to members of the group. This also took place before November 21st. These anons were sent to Kiri after the unrelated blog got the anon signed with an “x”.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that having to provide a ton of screenshots to clear our names after all this damage Madds did was unforeseen, screenshots of the actual anons do not exist.

If you’ve made it to the very end of this very lengthy post, I want to thank you for the time you took to read it.

Let it be known that this post was made as an attempt to finally put a stop to Maddison doing the exact thing she accused us of doing so persistently: stalking, harassing, threatening, lying, backstabbing, sending violently malicious anons, and bullying people into remaking their blogs.

We do not wish for ANYONE to go after those who have ties to Madds, nor those who got dragged into this or provided us with helpful information, and that is why we have omitted so many names. If those people wish to come forward with their identity, that is up to them and only them.

So, no anon. We did not get what we wanted. Thank you for asking, though. We just want this to stop, it’s been long overdue.

[freespiritdani]

Okay, @freespiritdani, I wanna see how brave you are... The ASK ME STUFF list. All of them except the first one and the last one. Love ya lots, Mom.

Braver than you think, dear daughter! 

You should know be better than that, you’ve known me all your life....

Here goes:

2: Age -39

3: 3 Fears - flying, heights, snakes

4: 3 things I love - motorcycles, horses, being and living in the country

5: 4 turns on - intelligence, smile, heart, laughter

6: 4 turns off - body hair not on the scalp, bad hygiene, the male of the species, arrogance

7: My best friend - @cherokeesapphicangel 

8: Sexual orientation - lesbian and proud of it

9: My best first date - November 7, 2005, with the woman who would eventually become my world and my wife

10: How tall am I - 5′4″

11: What do I miss - things I’m no longer allowed to do post-heart attack

12: What time were I born - 6:12 AM

13: Favourite color - bright red

14: Do I have a crush - does my wife count?

15: Favourite quote - “Love is too beautiful to be hidden in a closet.”

16: Favourite place - at home, on the sofa, curled up next to my precious Angel

17: Favourite food - sushi

18: Do I use sarcasm - Now whatever gave you that idea? (in other words, yes)

19: What am I listening to right now - my precious Angel’s heartbeat

20: First thing I notice in new person - body language

21: Shoe size - 7

22: Eye color - chocolate brown

23: Hair color - black, no dyes.

24: Favourite style of clothing - “provocative”

25: Ever done a prank call? - yes

(where, perchance, is #26? LOL)S

27: Meaning behind my URL - I’m a free spirit.

28: Favourite movie - Hoodwinked!

29: Favourite song - “Niki Nana (We Are One)”, Yanni

30: Favourite band - don’t really have one

31: How I feel right now - very happy and content

32: Someone I love - my precious Angel (my wife)

33: My current relationship status - happily married

34: My relationship with my parents - they’re deceased (Mom in 2001, Dad in 2019)

35: Favourite holiday - Halloween

36: Tattoos and piercing i have - yes, classified (intimate)

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - Also classified (same reason)

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Choices fandom

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - you could say that....

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - from my daughters

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - How the hell do I know? I have no clue who you last texted!

42: When did I last hold hands? - right now

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - anywhere from 2 minutes to an hour

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? - uh, yeah!

45: Where am I right now? - lying in bed with my wife, all cuddled up

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - the mortician

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - yes

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - I’m alive and they’re not, so I’m going with “no”

49: Am I excited for anything? - Yes

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - Yes. My brother.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Whenever I meet an asshole that’s going out of his/her way to be annoying

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - a few minutes ago.

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - Not gonna happen

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - yes

55: What is something I disliked about today? - went by too quickly

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Oh dear god, that list is too long to whittle it down to just one LOL

57: What do I think about most? - a toss up between cooking for my wife and sex with my wife

58: What’s my strangest talent? - strange to whom?

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - I repeat, strange to whom?

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Behind, if a camera must be involved at all.

61: What was the last lie I told? - that I had totally given up drinking about 8 months before I really did

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - neither

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and Yes

64: Do I believe in magic? - Yes

65: Do I believe in luck? - Yes

66: What’s the weather like right now? - cold

67: What was the last book I’ve read? - Cover to cover? The Rite by Jennifer Bene

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? No

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Yes, many, most of them not polite.

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? - Numerous in a car accident in 2018, most serious of which was a punctured lung

71: Do I spend money or save it? Spend. That’s why Angel is in charge of the money LOL

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? Whose tongue? With my own tongue, no.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? *devilish grin* Yes there is....

74: Favourite animal? - Eagle

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - cumming

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - Artrip

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - “Show Me How You Burlesque”, Christina Aguilera

78: How can you win my heart? - (my wife already did LOL), show me you care about me.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - “Here lies a girl whose only crutch/Was loving one woman just a little too much”

80: What is my favorite word? - kitten

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - not without their permission

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - “If your religion causes you to be a bigot, something is wrong with your religion”

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - No

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - healing

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - If something happened to your wife and she died, how well would you take it?”

86: What is my current desktop picture? - See picture above question 2

87: Had sex? - Yes, as often as possible

88: Bought condoms? - no

89: Gotten pregnant? -Yes

90: Failed a class?- No

91: Kissed a boy? - Yes, unfortunately. 

92: Kissed a girl? - Yes, and I liked it

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - Yes

94: Had job? - Still have job

95: Left the house without my wallet? - Yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - Not that I’m aware of

97: Had sex in public? - Yes, more than once

98: Played on a sports team? - Yes

99: Smoked weed? - Yes

100: Did drugs? - Yes

101: Smoked cigarettes? - Yes

102: Drank alcohol? - Yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - HELL no

104: Been overweight? No

105: Been underweight? No

106: Been to a wedding? Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yes

109: Been outside my home country? Yes

110: Gotten my heart broken? Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes

112: Broken a bone? Yes

113: Cut myself? Intentionally, no. Accidentally, yes

114: Been to prom? Yes

115: Been in airplane? Yes, once, when I was 8 years old. Had to be sedated because I panicked big time

116: Fly by helicopter? If being life flighted from an accident scene to the nearest hospital counts, then yes.

117: What concerts have I been to? Yanni, Christina Aguilera, Melissa Etheridge

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? DUH, I’m lesbian! My crushes by definition are Lesbian

119: Learned another language? Yes

120: Wore make up? Yes

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Yes

122: Had oral sex? Yes

123: Dyed my hair? No

124: Voted in a presidential election? Yes

125: Rode in an ambulance? Yes

126: Had a surgery? Yes

127: Met someone famous? Yes

128: Stalked someone on a social network? No

129: Peed outside? Yes

130: Been fishing? Yes

131: Helped with charity? Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? Yes

133: Broken a mirror? Yes

134: What do I want for birthday? To be with family, especially my wife

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? Already have them, Marti and Staci

136: Was I named after anyone? First name, no. Middle name, my maternal grandmother

137: Do I like my handwriting? no

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? my teddy bear

139: Favourite Tv Show? Mythbusters (off the air now)

140: Where do I want to live when older? Where I live now

141: Play any musical instrument? Piano, violin, harp, didgeridoo

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? Heart surgery

143: Favourite pizza toping? Pineapple (sue me)

144: Am I afraid of the dark? No

145: Am I afraid of heights? Deathly afraid

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yes to both

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Yes

148: What I’m really bad at - Taking credit for anything

149: What my greatest achievments are - raising 2 amazing daughters

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - “The only thing you’ll ever amount to is being a pretty cum dumpster”

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery - retire

152: What do I like about myself - my body

153: My closest Tumblr friend - my sister

154: Something I fantasise about - not being so short

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Alright, so here’s the thing. You might have seen my post over on my Katherine blog (see HERE), and I feel like I need to discuss it here too since I’ve been thinking about this all day and it’s going to affect my blog here too.

Lately I’ve felt less and less attached to Fantastic Beasts. I still like it, don’t get me wrong, and I’m forever going to be a fan of it and Harry Potter. But since November, I’ve steadily began to develop negative feelings towards the series in general - I’ve had bad feelings about the fandom for a while anyway, but it’s been since November that it’s actually affected my view of the series.

There’s a number of things that’s caused this shift; other fandoms popping up, the toxicity of the Beasts fandom, my everchanging viewpoint on various actors in the franchise. It’s also probably just my mental health being a dick and messing me up, but here we are. It’s been a lot of things building up over the past months, but this crap with the birthday book has been the final straw breaking the camel’s back.

To clarify, no I don’t blame Katherine - chances are it was a wrong address I put or an asshole talent agent, and I get that. But it’s made me realize how much of my time and effort I’ve spent on something she’ll never get, and I feel awful because I got everyone else’s hopes up. Maybe I will try and resend it or give it to her at an event and just sheepishly say, “it was for your birthday but got lost along the way”, but...yeah. I’ve spent so much of my time on Beasts and on Katherine, and it’s unhealthy. It’s not even something making me happy anymore, and instead it’s making me feel worse.

The way it’s going, if I continue like this then it’s likely I’ll end up hating the films later in my life, and I’ll hate myself more for feeling like that. I don’t want to feel that way about something that once brought me so much joy and happiness. I want to keep my memories of it positive.

Which is why, for a while at least, I’ll be stepping away from the Beasts fandom.

I know a lot of people will unfollow or be upset due to unfinished fics etc, and I understand that. I’m not leaving completely and never looking back, I’m merely removing myself from the thick of it. I’ll try to work on my remaining Beasts fics, including ones I’ve started but haven’t posted yet, but it’s no longer a big priority in my life. I’ll still post Beasts stuff on this blog, mostly reblogs and stuff, and that will be added to my queue as usual. But I’m no longer going to be as active about Beasts anymore.

I don’t know what I’m going to do about my Beasts instagram, my Potterhead account, or my accounts dedicated to Katherine. Chances are I’ll be taking a break from them for a bit too. I will still be on the Beasts discord servers but that’s more because I have friends there and it’s a less intense way of still experiencing the fandom.

The thing is, it’s no longer fun. It’s no longer bringing me the happiness it used to. Posting stuff on my Beasts instagram became a competition of how many followers I could get - which is not okay - and now it’s merely a chore. That’s not who I am or who I want to be.

I don’t know how long I’ll be stepping back for - I could decide in a week “I want to come back”, it could be a month...I don’t know. Nothing’s set in stone.

I hope you guys can understand; my messages are always open, I don’t bite, and I would love to still chat with people. I’ll probably be changing my URL after today too, but I’ll save this current one as well.

Thank you guys for understanding! X

[madestrcng]

Hi this is really gay and I was gonna wait until I had 200 followers to reveal it but OOPS (all berries) I’m posting it now.      So I made this blog back in April off of a random whim, a barely thought out decision that I wasn’t sure was going to work out. Honestly, I’d never actually written a character quite like Staci, although I saw similarities in muses I’d written in the past. Staci was a complex character that was really confusing and foreign to me.

Part of me was afraid to make a character in such a new fandom too. I’d never really broken into the ‘video game’ rp scene before, I’d always stuck to RPing comic book characters or characters from animated series. I was always bad at breaking into a fandom on my own, I needed to feel secure and have friends in it already, otherwise I always felt lost or left out. I usually would abandon my blogs quickly out of fear of being rejected or being replaced when a blog for the same character came a long, one that was better than I was.     However none of my friends had any interest in Far Cry, nor did they plan to ever show interest like I did. And truthfully, even if I wanted to RP FC, I was convinced the fandom wouldn’t be a good place. I had been in toxic fandoms before, more so controversial ones because the source material wasn’t exactly uuuuh...’good’ ? Like, Far Cry is an amazing game and it’s beautiful and complex, I mean not good as it; it’s about a cult, and I didn’t know if people would be ok seeing rpers for a cult leader/cult followers. Bc I’m dumb and I’ve seen so many posts that said ‘you can’t rp this bc of this and this reason’ and ‘if you rp *insert thing here* then you deserve to be shot uvu u r scum’ within other fandoms/on tumblr and it scared me. 

     BUT HERE’S THE THING, I loved Far Cry so much that I was willing to bite the bullet and just go for it. Throw myself into the fire and if I got hate, I would have to suck it up. I had no friends who would join with me? I’ll have to join by myself and pray I can get over my awkwardness and social anxiety. So I started planning, started thinking up urls, making coloring and icons PSDs, testing out background themes....

For John.

I was gonna make a John Seed RP blog.

    And I still have all that shit saved for him, but I will probably never make him. But I just needed to mention it. SO THEN, HOW DID I GO FROM JOHN SEED TO STACI PRATT ? Well let me tell you !

Around the time I had been planing to make John, I had also been obsessively checking the ‘Far Cry rp’ tags. I’d seen a few blogs and promos, but the tags are so fucking broken on tumblr I rarely saw anything that was active or that interested me. They were for older games, ones I hadn’t played yet. Inactive or just blogs with a Far Cry verse that I didn’t recognize the character.

I started having a panic attack about worrying if maybe making a Far Cry blog was a bad idea. And I decided that, yes, it probably was, and that I shouldn’t do it if I’m just gonna chicken out. I actually told myself that, maybe, I should stop writing all together. That I’m too old to still be RPing (I’m 22). So I laid down, and was just gonna take a nap when I loaded up tumblr mobile, and low a behold tumblr showed me a ‘new post in a tag you follow’

and it was a promo for a Jacob Seed blog.

More specifically, it was a promo for @badwclv ‘s blog. 

and it was like, SUCH BEAUTY, SUCH NICE EDITS, SUCH WELL DONE WRITING. The blog was beautiful, the THEME was beautiful. And I started thinking like ‘what if...I made a Staci Pratt...so I could have a reason to write with this person....’

So literally like, that same night I started re-editing all the shit I had made for John, and using it for Staci. And it all looked so much better, it never looked quite right when it was for John, but it looked perfect for Staci.

I also um, stalked everyone for like, a good two days before I made my blog known. Literally the first blogs I followed was @badwclv and @gcdspoke and I remember just sitting there like ‘ n o t i c e m e. . . ’

And I didn’t know if this would work out, if I would just get tired of Staci in a week or in a month, or if I’d even be ANY GOOD at him. I just wanted to write with a really bomb Jacob rper and dammit I was going to if it was the last thing I do.

and now I’m literally, so attached to Staci that it’s borderline obsessive. It’s been SO LONG since I had a character that just, captured me like he has. Writing him feels so fun and comes so easy, rather than feeling like a chore. and I’ve met SO many great people whomst I love and adore and honestly ??? you’re all ??? so great ???? I’m sobbing.

OK WRAPPING THIS UP BUT BASICALLY I LOVE YOU ALL AND I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW IT BC YOU’RE SO SO SO SPECIAL TO ME. And I’m sorry this is so long but I needed to get this out here so you guys understand how much I appreciate you all for giving be a fandom I actually feel happy in.

[gallifvrey]

fic writer review

ty @taardisblue​ for tagging me in this! (also gonna leave this under a readmore to save everyone)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 7! which is honestly a lot more than i was expecting 

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 19544, which is also way more than i was expecting ngl

3. How many fandoms have you written for? on ao3 ive only published for two fandoms (doctor who and the magnus archives) but i’ve got some wips for critical role stuff and some old mass effect stuff i’d rather not revisit 😬

4. Top 5 fics by kudos? seconds. comes in at number one and is probably one of my fave fics ive written. talks about 12 after escaping from the time dial and his regeneration into 13 and dealing with all of that built up trauma. same with never cruel or cowardly, has lots of callbacks to episodes in hopefully just the right place to break your heart! 

never cruel or cowardly details thirteen’s life after regeneration and specifically dealing with trauma from her experiences right before she regenerated (i.e. time dial, losing and remembering clara, dying on a spaceship etc.)

should have been a TMA fic that goes from martin and jon starting to rebuild their life in the safehouse to then the apocalypse and then the end of the world (written before the finale even aired so its all speculation)

what would you do, to save humanity this was written as an alternative darker ending to Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos bc i figured that episode didn’t have enough angst. 

every star a fic about the doctor and the master’s relationship bc this ship always kind of kills me and i am always kinda thinking about it. about how they are so very, very alike. two sides of the same coin.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not? ahhh unfortunately i generally dont - partially i get rly stressed about responding “the right way” but also i like seeing the little notification of unread messages! nice reminder that ppl comment on my fics! but also sometimes i do just forget and feel rly awkward. just know if you comment on my fic i literally owe my entire life to you 

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? ah man the tma fic ends in their combined death so theres that? the thoschei fic is... well.. i mean, yknow. a thoschei fic. none of them end particularly ‘well’ tho i think. 

7. Do you write crossovers? nah i dont particularly like crossovers tbh

8. Ever received hate on a fic? thankfully, no

9. Do you write smut? that is between me, google docs, and a secondary ao3 account no one knows about

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? thankfully, no

11. Ever had a fic translated? No

12. Have you ever co-written a fic? no! i’d like to tho!

13. All time fav ship? god i dont think i could just have one but i am kinda obsessed with thoschei from doctor who, or twelve/clara is a huge one for me also

14. WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? oh man i wrote a really detailed rewrite of the pyramid at the end of the world episodes, where instead of the doctor coming back he was still indoctrinated or still was like, done w humanity ig, so it was bill who singlehandedly was saving the world kinda like martha did. it was my first time writing a longer fic and sticking with it and i think it had real potential! but someone never has time anymore 

15. Writing strengths? i’d like to think im pretty good at descriptions and like, idk what to call it but like the vaguely meta-ish stuff, references to past eps and kinda like “poetic” language describing stuff?

16. Writing weaknesses? i cannot write dialogue to save my life. tbh both in real life and in fic

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic? see above. but also i think i’d be fine with it, at least in short bursts. if there’s ever a character that speaks ukrainian i’d be super down to write some of their dialogue in ukrainian in a fic but alas :(

18. First fandom you wrote for? definitely doctor who! i wrote a fic when i was like, 13? or smth and had just started watching the show and it was the most self indulgent thing ever but it was all about the doctor coming to pick up random teenagers from around the world and bring them onto the tardis in this big camp-like sleepover. i absolutely loved thinking abt that fic 

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far? hmm i like pyrite a lot bc its more ~experimental~ than ive written before. but i also have to say seconds. bc it introduced me to @yesokayiknow & then suddenly 2 yrs later had a bunch more dw friends! cool times

ty maddy for tagging me! this was a lot of fun. ik im supposed to tag ppl but alas i know limited tumblr urls off the top of my head so genuinely if you got this far in reading this post like, feel free to do this and tag me in it i’d love to see your response! 

(if you’re thinking “oh but surely they can’t be talking about me!” i am. do the post if you want! tis fun)