#ALSO keep in mind i'm only in act 1 and this is their first night so it's super early in the story

[mercymaker]

pairing: astarion x tav rating: nsfw-ish notes: non-native speaker behind the wheel; a study on the main character, intimacy, and their relation to power. summary: when you try to manipulate a vampire spawn into believing he can easily manipulate you, but you forget to assess how it all might backfire.

She tensed against him, nails instinctively digging into his shoulder where her hand had caressed his skin before. He knows. Fuck, he knows. As calm and relaxed as Maleane tried to play it, her body betrayed every plan she'd set up for the night. Use it. Be the damsel, the morsel, the fly trapped in his web. Make him think you're innocent, weak, pathetic. Frantic thoughts darted through her mind like crossbow bolts, one faster than the other, panic almost dulling the ache that every move sent through her body. Mal opened her eyes to peer at his, assessing the situation, trying to look past that perfectly polished facade. A glimmer of something she could not recognize danced across his blood-red irises and it made her heart race faster. No, too pathetic. He would never believe it. He would never trust it. He could never use it. As the pieces on the board started falling into place, Astarion opened his mouth. To mock her? To tease her? To bite?

"Harder." A rushed whisper escaped through her lips as she pulled him in, hand grasping the back of his neck, pushing those sharp teeth towards her delicate throat.

One desperation for another. A leverage. A distraction. Yes, that will distract him. The rapid volley of her thoughts came crashing in waves, trying to squeeze in between every sensation that was consuming her body. The dry sticks digging into her back, the suffocating feeling of being pinned down, his lips at her neck, the discomfort of it all. How did she end up like this?

Before being infected, Maleane rarely thought of this moment, preferring to take advantage of whatever opportunity would eventually come her way. She was well aware of how this world worked, however, witnessed plenty to grasp the essence of what urges most living, breathing creatures possessed. But all of them seemed so distant, in her periphery at best, for Mal had different things to worry about, survival being at the forefront of her mind. Yet, even those who think themselves high above such mortal indulgences can’t lie for too long.

The first time it became apparent was at a tavern. From time to time, Maleane would wander into one village or another, bringing game or furs to trade. It wasn’t the easiest interacting with people, as most feared drow like the devils from hells, a sentiment she could, unfortunately, relate to. But goods were goods and coin was coin, so once the sense of threat had subsided, many were at least accepting of her being around. Some went as far as growing to like her, for Mal was good at molding herself to whatever person she needed to be for the occasion.

She sat at the corner of the room, sipping on the mead that the dwarf lady who owned the place had offered, her pale lilac eyes scanning the evening crowd. Travelers resting after a long journey, a bard belting a song about doomed lovers, four ladies dressed in revealing outfits leaning over the tables, sweet-talking their way into the men’s purses, and some urchins scurrying around between the tables. Maleane found herself gazing at one of the wenches, her ample bosom almost spilling out of the top of the laced dress. The woman’s skin glistened in the hazy lantern light, tiny droplets of sweat strewn across her chest like a dozen tiny gems. Something stirred in Mal’s core, as if a hand was slithering inside her, reaching down and down to where her thighs met. She wanted the woman to be at her table instead, leaning close, whispering what she could only assume were profanities into her ear. The whore would only want me for my coin. Maleane’s gaze returned back to the half-empty mug nestled between her hands, the soft tingling in her belly dissipating as quickly as it first emerged. She didn’t want to buy something she could take, that was beneath her.

One day she decided that she would do it. Instead of passively waiting for the opportunity to run into her, Mal would take the matters into her own hands and be done with it. For as much as she tried to deny it, the wench haunted her sleepless nights, pulling up memories that the drow had never paid much attention to before. A peek between the boards of a shed, where a maid was wedged between two men, all three engaging in carnal pleasures. A conversation she overheard between an innkeeper and a miller over how the former had found a patron bound and gagged in a room after a particularly rowdy night. A shepherd she had once observed burying his head down the pants of another boy in a field not far from her camp.

It wasn’t long before Maleane was in the village again, looking to replace the tools that had worn off from years of use. While waiting for the blacksmith to return from the market, the elf found herself wandering between the haystacks, away from the busy street and into the backyard. There, an orange tabby rolled in the dirt, soaking up the sun with its big cream belly. As Mal watched the animal play, she noticed that there was another spectator. Unlike Maleane, he wasn’t interested in the playful feline, his eyes were fixed on her.

Pretty, for a human. The youth froze in his tracks the moment the drow moved towards him, eyes widening in surprise. He tried to step back and retreat, however, it was too late and soon he found himself trapped between the elf and the wall.

Maleane examined him from head to toe, lingering on the lean yet muscled arms, the hints of hair peeking at the neckline of his shirt, the faintest outline of the curve beneath the linen pants. He wants me. Like those wenches at the inn. Like the maids bathing in the pool. And yet, his eyes are streaked with fear. She shoved the boy against the wall and pressed her lips against his, hand sliding up his chest to grip his shoulder, while the other slithered to undo the laces of his breeches. The human didn’t protest, surrendering to her advances, yet he didn’t respond in turn. Nothing. It was exactly what was happening, what she was feeling. Nothing stirred, nothing awakened, nothing ignited. She left the backyard, the man still frozen, his pants awkwardly sliding down to his ankles.

It was all before the tadpole, before the nautiloid, before running into the pale elf. With the notion of impending doom breathing down her neck, Maleane was thrown into a swirling pit of chaos. It was a time to take advantage of every favorable circumstance, to risk everything, at every turn, she’d realized. And he was one hell of a risk. The flirt, with words so honeyed it betrayed him. Mal knew better than to trust him, but she also recognized the importance of keeping him in the fold, for a ticking time bomb waiting to stab them in the back was the last thing the group needed. So, she went along with his flirtations, the overt courting, the flattery. All in hopes to keep him on her side.

Astarion wanted her blood, her body, the vulnerability that he’d been prying out of her with every sweet word. Leverage. How transactional. And yet, despite that knowledge, it wasn’t nothing. He made her feel something, a part that she’d hushed, pushed down, locked behind a gilded door in her mind. Mal wanted him, in some strange way she didn’t recognize. In a way that she could never have. She knew better than that.

[ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral]

And I'm back with Part 3 of the "Merlin accidentally conquers Camelot" au! Thank you all so much for your patience and continued support for this story! It makes me so happy to see people get excited by my silly (and occasionally delusional) au ideas!

NOTE: You can find part 1 here and part 2 here.

EDIT: And you can find part 4 here!

And without further ado, onto the new stuff!

It was rather drafty in the lesser furnished cells of the dungeons. Merlin knew this well, as he had spent many nights during his first couple of years in Camelot trying and failing to get any sleep on the cold stone floors of those cells, kept awake by the freezing chill that would sweep through the dungeons at any given moment.

Merlin also knew that Arthur had never been kept in one of those cells, even on the rare occasions that Uther had him locked up for going against his orders. Whenever Arthur had to be put in the dungeons, he had been put in the fully furnished cells, meant for prisoners who were members of noble families.

Even when they were held in the same dungeon, the nobles and the peasants were subjected to wildly different experiences.

With that in mind, Merlin stopped by Arthur's chambers (or... were they his chambers now? Merlin certainly didn't want to think about that.) to grab Arthur's favorite blanket off of his bed. It was a luxuriously soft blanket, dyed a rich Pendragon red. That blanket was fit for a king and a pain for a manservant to wash, but Merlin had always taken good care of the blanket, knowing how much Arthur liked it.

Merlin folded up the thick blanket with meticulous care, ignoring both his own trembling hands, rendered unsteady by the volatile emotions welling up in him, and Gwaine's presence behind him, silent for once. Despite Gwaine's undying loyalty and penchant for mischief landing Merlin in an even worse situation than before, he seemed to understand the solemnity of Merlin's actions and the profound sense of grief over the life he had lived once before that had been so suddenly torn away from him.

The motions of carefully folding up the blanket filled Merlin with both comforting familiarity and near-crippling sorrow. Would he ever do this again, ever provide support and comfort for Arthur again? As much as Merlin wished to stay optimistic, even if his plan to reinstate Arthur as the rightful king of Camelot succeeded, the darkest corners of his mind hissed that Arthur would never tolerate his presence again, let alone trust him, after usurping him and, in Arthur's eyes, proving everything Uther had ever said about sorcerers to be true.

Merlin's heart plummeted, nearly stopping him in his track towards the dungeon entirely, at the mere thought of what Arthur must think of him now: a treacherous, conniving sorcerer who had manipulated Arthur into becoming his friend only to betray him. Merlin blinked, banishing his tears before they could roll down his face and fall onto the blanket in his arms, and forced his feet to keep moving steadily forward. No matter what Arthur thought of him now, how deeply Merlin has unintentionally wounded his friend, or how catastrophically Merlin's world felt like it was crumbling down around him, he needed to set things right.

Merlin clung desperately to that conviction, the thrumming need to set things right again, as everything else in him wanted to curl up in a dark corner and never move again. After an eternity and yet all too soon, Merlin descended past the gates of the dungeon, where he forbade Gwaine from following him any further, down the noble cell blocks, which were filled with sleeping, but thankfully uninjured knights, and finally through the dark, damp, empty, and cold peasant cells.

He couldn't see Arthur at first, but his magic sensed that he was here. Like always, it jumped, tugging on Merlin to act, whenever Arthur was nearby, causing Merlin to pause his step in order to focus on whatever his magic was attempting to do. This time, it tugged his attention towards the unlit torches lining the walls of the cell block. Light them, his magic seemed to beg of him, our king is cold!

Merlin's immediate reaction was to stop his magic, to push it down so that no one would notice, and, after a deep breath, he did just that. As Merlin stood still, holding Arthur's blanket in his arms and cherishing what would likely be the last few seconds that he could ignore what had happened over the last day and pretend that everything was normal, he heard the voice that he'd been both yearning and dreading to hear for the past day coming from the cell at the very end of the dungeon.

"If you're waiting to sneak up on me, you'll have to try harder than that. I can hear that neither magic nor a crown have made you any more stealthy, Merlin."

Merlin flinched backwards, expecting but yet somehow still unprepared for how much vitriol and bitterness Arthur hissed out his name with. He had heard Arthur yell out his name in variety of tones over the years, ranging from annoyed to bemused to downright furious, but he had never heard his name pass from Arthur's lips like this, spat out from his mouth like it was poisonous and vile. It caused so much hurt to well up in Merlin's chest that he felt it like a bruising punch, causing him to wince in pain, still hiding where Arthur could not see him.

As Merlin stood silently, only a few steps away from Arthur's cell and facing Arthur's well-deserved fury, and tried to desperately blink away the tears gathering in his eyes, his magic abruptly tugged his attention towards the torches again, more insistent this time. Letting out a stuttering breath, Merlin obliged with his magic's request this time, and the torches lining the walls burst into bright, golden flames in an instant, filling the cells with a merry warmth that felt entirely out of place.

Merlin heard a sharp gasp coming from Arthur's cells as soon as the torches lit up by themselves and winced. Right, Arthur was fresh off of Merlin's betrayal, so he was probably pretty jumpy, especially around magic.

Merlin's guilt rose alongside his frustration. Everything he does with his magic, he does it for Arthur, and yet every single damned time it backfires on him and somehow hurt Arthur! A spell meant to heal his father kills the king instead. A battle waged to ensure his continued reign steals his sovereignty instead. And lit torches meant to provide him with warmth and comfort scares him instead!

But before even more guilt could build up inside of him, Merlin heard Arthur's voice once more.

"I won't be scared by a coward of a sorcerer who would steal everything from the man he claimed to serve! Or is the great Emrys too important to even face the fool he tricked into believing that he was his friend?"

Before Merlin's mind could even process Arthur's words, his feet were already carrying him to the end of the hallway, right to the front of Arthur's cell. He needed to prove Arthur wrong here, their years of friendship weren't a lie or a trick, Arthur needed to believe that! Too much of Merlin's life, his very soul, was woven into his bond with Arthur, he couldn't let Arthur have any doubt that their bond was even real!

As he finally arrived at the door to the cell that held Arthur, Merlin's heart stuttered again, this time with grief. Based on the ferocity in his voice, Merlin had expected to see Arthur pressed up against the bars, ready to battle his perceived opponent. Instead, he was greeted by the sight of Arthur, sitting alone on the dirty stone floor, his face wearing the same dejected and defeated look it had just days earlier, after Morgana had taken the citadel and Arthur doubted his own ability to rule his people. The only difference was that the lost look in Arthur's eyes from before was gone, replaced by a scornful glare that had Merlin feeling like he was the scum of the earth.

Merlin opened his mouth, ready to apologize, plead for forgiveness, whatever it took to just stop Arthur from looking at him like that, like Merlin was his enemy, but no words could form in his mouth, as too many emotions were welling up in his chest that it closed off his throat entirely. Merlin drew in a deep, fortifying breath, purposefully avoiding eye contact with a still-glaring Arthur the entire time. Once he felt like he had his feelings even marginally under some tenuous control, he finally met Arthur's gaze and held out the blanket like a pathetic peace offering.

"I brought you your blanket. I know it gets cold down here."

Merlin was rather proud that his voice only wavered slightly, not giving an indication of how disastrously close he was to breaking down into tears in the middle of the dungeons. Arthur merely stared at him for a moment, bewilderment appearing on his face for a few seconds before it was quickly wiped away by angry sneer.

"I don't accept gifts from the likes of you, sorcerer! It's probably cursed or enchanted to kill me so that you can finally get me out of your way for good!"

"No!"

The blanket fell to the floor as Merlin grasped the bars of the cell with both hands and pulled himself as close as he could to Arthur, who had flinched back at Merlin's outburst. His magic flared again, wanting to break down this barrier between them so that he could get closer to Arthur, but he denied its request, knowing that such an action would only agitate Arthur even more.

"Arthur, please, I never meant for any of this to happen! You must believe me! I only wanted to for Camelot to be safe from Morgana and for you to retake the throne! I only want to secure your reign, not end it!"

That, it seemed, finally got a reaction out of Arthur, but it wasn't the one Merlin was hoping for. Arthur finally stood up from the floor and stormed over to the cell door, getting close to Merlin, but just out of reach.

"And why on earth should I trust a word you say?! You've done nothing but lie to me for years, even when I gave you my complete trust! I thought you were my closest friend, the one person in my life who would never betray me, but as it turns out, I never even knew your real name, much less where your true loyalties lie!"

Merlin's face fell at Arthur's accusations, knowing that he was, in some ways, completely right in them. Still, he met Arthur's accusing glare with as much honesty as he could. After all that his own actions had taken from Arthur, he owed him the truth at the very least. Merlin spoke again, trying to muster up a calm, soothing tone despite his strong emotions.

"I know that you don't have much reason to trust what I say now, but I will do all that I can take make this right. I was born with magic, yes, but I was born this way for a purpose, and that purpose is you, Arthur. I am Emrys, destined to be the guardian of the Once and Future King, who will rule over the greatest kingdom history has ever known and bring peace the likes of which has never been seen throughout the land."

Merlin could see the moment of realization on Arthur's face as he put together who exactly the Once and Future King was, his eyes going wide with shock. Despite the situation, Merlin has just a bit of a smile on his face as he reminisced on fond memories.

"When I first met you, I just couldn't understand how such a prattish clotpole could ever be a king of legend, but the longer I stayed by your side, the more I could see the king that you were destined to become. A great man, a great leader, who will always stand up to protect his people, even if it means putting himself in danger."

Merlin's speech trailed off as he smiled gently at Arthur, trying desperately to give him reason to believe Merlin, to believe in the prophecy that tied them together, and, above all, to believe in himself.

To Merlin's surprise, he could see Arthur confusion melting into... something. It looked like something along the lines of hope or awe, which gave Merlin hope in return. But just as quickly as it was there, Arthur's expression shifted again to a frustrated anger.

"Even if what you're saying isn't some trick, your little bedtime story is wrong anyways! I can't be the Once and Future King if I'm not even a king in the first place!"

Merlin sighed deeply, knowing that they'd get to this point eventually. He had a plan, but would Arthur ever agree to it?

"I've tried! I tried to simply order the council to make you king again, but they won't do it! Geoffrey stopped me with some old laws that Bruta wrote! He said that I can't abdicate the throne to you because you're no longer legally a nobleman."

Arthur eyes widened frantically at the mention of Bruta's laws, his breathing picking up with panic. He backed up from the bars of the cell and began pacing around.

"Bruta's code, damn it, I forgot that they applied in these situations! Wait..."

His eyes snapped back to Merlin, looking red-rimmed and on the verge of tears. His voice, which was so full of fire mere seconds ago, now sounded hollow. Merlin's hope wilted upon seeing Arthur like this, and his magic flared again, still wanting to destroy the barrier between them.

"This means that the Pendragon house is no longer recognized, doesn't it?"

Merlin could only nod, unsure of what he could do to comfort Arthur. At Merlin's confirmation, Arthur took a shaky breath, trying to collect himself from the inner turmoil that he was surely experiencing.

"Everything... I've lost everything."

Merlin gave Arthur what he hoped was his most comforting smile, but it didn't do much for Arthur's hopeless disposition. After a small sigh, Merlin spoke again in a soft, comforting voice.

"Arthur, all is not lost. I have a way to make you king again! We just have to make you a noble again, and then I can abdicate the throne to you! And luckily for both of us, there's an easy way to make a peasant a nobleman quickly! And you should know, you wrote it into the laws yourself!"

Arthur blinked at him, not comprehending what Merlin had said for a couple seconds, before a sliver of hope showed on his face. However, as soon as it was there, it was gone again, once more replaced by anger and betrayal. Arthur quickly stormed over to the cell door, this time reaching the door itself and wrapping his hands around the bars so that he could yell in Merlin's face.

"I knew it! This was a trick!"

"What are you talking about? How would me knighting you and then giving you back your throne be a trick?!"

"You would have me swear on oath of fealty to you, which would legally, and for all I know magically, put me under your command! This was all just another plot to control me, wasn't it?!"

"Oh come on, you wouldn't have to mean it when you take the oath! You'd just have to say the words and then let me abdicate!"

"So now sacred oaths of loyalty are nothing but empty words to you?!"

"Gods, you really can't make anything easy for the both of us, can you, you prat! I'm just trying to give you your crown back!"

"You would have me disrespect the sacred oaths of knighthood! I would never swear an oath of fealty to you! It is a sacred bond of trust, which is apparently something that you know nothing about, Emrys!"

Merlin flinched back, still unused to Arthur saying the name given to him by the druids, much less hissed out in anger. Merlin backed away from the cell door and took a deep breath, trying to find some solution to this mess.

"So, I take it that you would not accept a knighthood from me?"

"Never."

Merlin sighed again, his eyes drifting around the dungeons as he tried to think of a different way to make Arthur a nobleman. Eventually, his eyes drifted back towards Arthur, who was still holding onto the bars of the cell door. As Merlin looked at Arthur, pondering any solution that he could possibly come up with, a metallic flash caught Merlin's eye, drawing it to Arthur's left hand.

There, the torchlight was reflecting off of Ygraine's ring, the one that Arthur rarely ever took off. Merlin was glad that Arthur still had it with him after everything that had just happened to provide some comfort, but it still didn't present Merlin with any solutions...

Wait.

Oh no.

Swallowing thickly, Merlin called out to Arthur again.

"Arthur, do you know of any, any other ways to elevate a peasant to the status of a noble?"

"I'm afraid not. Me granting knighthoods to peasants was the first legal opportunity for peasants to elevate their stations. There is no other way."

Merlin closed his eyes and tried to hold back his frustration. He wouldn't have to resort to that, surely?

"And you've really thought this through, Arthur? If you don't accept a knighthood, I don't think that there's any other way that I can legally make you a noble again, much less the king. Are you really prepared to go the rest of your life as a peasant with no title, no lands, no riches, nothing?"

Merlin could see that his words gave Arthur pause, forcing him to at least reconsider Merlin's offer. Merlin internally pleaded with Arthur to please don't be an idiot, just take the offer!

Finally, Arthur seemed to have reached his decision, as he glared at Merlin once again with conviction.

"I might be forced to live out my days as a peasant, but at least I'll be a peasant with my honor and integrity intact."

Merlin was, at this point, sorely tempted to bash his head into the stone wall behind him. Why, why did this clotpole have to make his life so difficult?!

Merlin gave a heavy sigh as he nodded, accepting Arthur's decision. Arthur looked rather smug about Merlin conceding to him, which he wouldn't be feeling if he knew exactly what Merlin had in mind as his contingency plan.

"Very well then. You've made it clear that you won't willingly take this one opportunity for me to give you your throne back. But make no mistake, you are the Once and Future King. This is your destiny, and I will see that it comes to pass, no matter what I have to do. I know that it might be unfair, but I only ask that you forgive me for what I do next. Please remember, everything I do, I do for you and the kingdom that you're destined to build."

Arthur's expression had gone from smug to confused to concerned very quickly, but Merlin didn't acknowledge the slight fear that had appeared on Arthur's face. Instead, he carefully pushed Arthur's blanket, which had been lying at the foot of the cell door, through the bars, ensuring that Arthur could grab it.

After that, Merlin turned on his heel and walked out of the now silent dungeons, his footsteps sounding authoritative and ominous as they echoed off of the stone walls.

Despite his measured footsteps, Merlin's mind was moving at sprinter's pace, trying to plan out everything that would need to be done in the coming days. The first thing that he definitely needed to do was let the steward know that he needed to plan a wedding on short notice.

After all, it wasn't uncommon for conquerors to marry their war prizes.

I hope you all enjoyed this continuation! Were you right in your guess as to what Merlin had in mind at the end of part 2? Please let me know if you'd like another part of this story!

I'll try to tag everyone who asked for a part 3 here. Thank you all for your support!

@magic-mushroomss @miyriu @whole-buncha-snakess @achillesuwu @aerismoon

@tidalwavesandthunderstorms @marki9 @isaidno @retro-wallflower @samwinjester

@lascienzadellafantasia @sugar-coated-prat-dragon @theoldfroglady @ryeallytired @mind-of-a-crow

@whynotreinventmyselfeveryday @likeapaperplane @odinjm @orliththedragon @aglmry

@caraspud @aostrek-236 @justaz @slippysalt @coffee-shop-gay

@the-king-and-the-druidess @theroundbartable @fanfic-library-for-me @linotheghost @scuttlingsleipnir

@guiltyscarlet

And, as always, than you for reading through my ramblings! :D

[hermetiqa]

What study habits will help you this school year?

Reminder: it doesn't matter if you saw this reading a day or a week or a month or a year after posting this. My readings are timeless. You'll see this when you're meant to see this and receive your message.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath before picking a pile. If you feel drawn to more than one pile, it's alright, you may take the piles that you're drawn to. What's important is to take it how it resonates and leave what doesn't.

PAID READINGS | TIP JAR | FEEDBACK | MASTERLIST

PLEASE HELP IF YOU CAN

NOTE: Please feel free to give me a feedback on my asks about the reading! I would highly appreciate it and it'll be a huge help for me to improve as a reader.

Pile 1

The study habits that will help you this year are the ones that will keep you engaged in your lessons and courses/subjects. Something that keeps your mind active and keeps you interested in learning. Be curious about what you're learning. Take studying as something positive and don't take it as a responsibility. Have the mindset that you're privileged enough to study and learn these stuff. Be in a state of wanting to learn, not needing to learn. Also, leave your "failures" behind, such as low grades or not being able to get a perfect score on your exam. Instead, focus on what you lacked that caused that result.

Study techniques:

Make flash cards

Use white boards (the bigger, the better)

Act like a teacher, pretend that you're teaching

Similar to the previous one, you can also pretend that you're reporting the lesson in class

Make mind maps with only your knowledge and check what you missed after

Pile 2

I'm getting a lot of energy here from you, Pile 2. First of all, STOP CRAMMING. You might have survived the last school year by cramming but it won't help you anymore, especially this time. You need to study in advance especially when you know you have exams coming up. Stop studying the night before the day of the exam. Also, leave the past behind. Let go of your "friends" who distract you from studying and just want to go out to parties. Change your routine. Your previous routine could be a success for you but it drains you. Find some balance between studying and leisure.

Study techniques:

Study with your friends together

Put notes on your walls so you can look at them anytime and you'll learn them naturally

If you exercise and you happen to have a treadmill, put notes on the wall in front of you so you can read as you exercise (walking or jogging)

Similarly, you can record yourself reading your notes and listen to your record while jogging outside or exercising

Read your notes outloud

Pile 3

So here's the studious pile. I'm seeing that you tend to study hard, not study smart. And that's your mistake. You should study smart, not study hard. Stop memorizing and start understanding your lessons more. Stop rewriting your notes over and over until you reach your desired perfection of your notes, the "aesthetic" that you want. Instead, do your best to write well when you're taking notes in class. That way, you won't have to rewrite them at home. When reading your notes, it's best for you to use different colors of highlighters. Also when someone offers you some help in a lesson that you struggle with, accept it, even if you only struggle a little. Lastly, enjoy learning! Don't stress yourself too much about it and overthink you'll fail.

Study techniques:

Don't stay up all night to study and wake up early in the morning to review, especially to recall what you've already studied

Never ever cram and always finish the easiest tasks first

Drink coffee when studying (only if you don't have health issues or you weren't advised that you should avoid coffee)

Keep on rereading your notes and rewrite what you remember, then keep track of what you tend to forget

Make tests for yourself or look for tests online

[noxitsnox]

if we get too closе, would it be okay?

hyun-ju x gn!reader - highschool au

summery: hyun-ju came out to her- now ex- girlfriend who spread the rumor around the whole school.

tags: trans/homophobia (the word tr**ny is used one (1) time), bullying, hurt/comfort, lots of fluff i promise, let me know if i missed anything!

a/n: i am obsessed it's not fair. this is pre-t but i'm still going to use she/her pronouns for hyun-ju <3 also english is not my first language and this isn't proof read, so i apologize for any mistake. @exactlyinfp

hyun-ju didn't want to go to school that day. her girlfriend, ex girlfriend now, broke up with her just because she trusted her, because she didn't want to hide anymore and she believed that her girlfriend of almost two years would understand. but she didn't. she called her all kind of names and blocked her everywhere.

she hoped this was where it ended. that they could just ignore each other and keep living life as it is. it would have been so much easier that way. but the moment she entered the school hallway she knew something happened. the looks she was getting were strange, full of hate. definitely not the looks you receive when you just broke up. she tried to ignore it and walked to her class with her head down.

it was early. a lot of time passed before some of her classmates entered the room. maybe it was better if they stayed outside. their chatter died down as soon as they saw her. one of them, who was seated next to her, took his desk and dragged it as far away from her as possible. “you're sick”, he said under his breath. “stay away from me.”

she stayed silent as the realization hit her. if he knew, everyone else did too. fighting tears, she forced herself to keep cool.

slowly people filled the room. everyone ignored her, even her so called friends looked at her with disgust. only y/n seemed to be acting as if nothing happened. maybe they didn't know about it yet. they’ll turn their back to you like everyone else, she thought.

“oh hyun-ju, how are you?”

y/n waited for an answer that never arrived. so, with a sad smile, they spoke again. “it's fine. you don't have to talk with me. you have my number in case you change your mind.”

———

for the rest of the week she ignored everyone. she was barely alive.

every morning she entered school feeling like a criminal. her locker in the changing rooms was filled with insults. some guys even tried to push her on the ground. that was the only moment she reacted. she could ignore words, but physical aggression was were she drew the line.

every night she cried herself to sleep, wishing she had someone on her side, someone to talk to. her family didn't know about what was happening in school and she hoped for it to stay that way or she wouldn't even have a home anymore.

it was on saturday afternoon that she lost it. she was out, getting some groceries for her mother at the local market, and she saw her ex with her friends. she tried to hide before they could notice her, but she wasn't fast enough.

"oh god, isn't that that tranny you used to date?", one said pointing at her.

"don't say that out loud, please. what will people think of me?"

hyun-ju ran away without even taking food from the market stall. she kept running until their voice became indistinguishable echoes.

she sat on the side walk and took out her phone, looking for y/n contact. she started crying, the tears blurring her vision.

their words came back to her. you have my number in case you change your mind. were they serious? she hesitantly called them, hoping for the best.

y/n didn't take long to answer and for that she was grateful.

"hey, you called!"

"i- yes... listen can you, can you come here?"

"oh hyun-ju, you're crying? is everything okay?"

"i don't even know anymore. please, just come here." and with that she hung up the phone, quickly shared the position with them.

she hugged her knees as she waited.

———

y/n was happy that hyun-ju called, even if the situation wasn't ideal. even though they weren't intimate, they cared about her and it made them sad to see her suffer. especially if she was being ridiculed for something beyond her control.

y/n tried to get to her as fast as possible. they went out in their sweats without bothering to put on something nicer. they didn't like the idea of hyun-ju seeing them in that state, but they also realized that they had to put vanity aside at the moment.

as soon as she saw y/n she got up and hugged. they remained in that position for a while. hyun-ju cried and cried while y/n rubbed her back, doing what they could to comfort her.

"sorry... i don't know why i did that", she said as she let go of them.

"you don't have to apologize. do you feel better now?"

"i do, thanks."

an awkward silence fell until y/n suggested they start walking with a wave of their hand, "do you wanna talk about what's happening?"

"i just want to forget about it. can we talk about something else?"

"oh sure", y/n looked at her and smiled. "do you wanna hear about this manga i'm reading?"

a/n: i realize that for an xreader the reader is barely there 😬 sorry. let me now if you liked it!!

[project-sonadow]

My [15M] rival [15/50M] has been weirdly aggressive towards me ever since he lost his memories for the second(?) time. Should I be worried about him trying to kill me again?

Summary

A post on r/relationship_advice by u/Chili_Dog1991

EDIT 1: Stop saying I'm Sonic I'm not.

EDIT 2: Okay I am Sonic. I don't see how that matters.

EDIT 3: Stop trying to figure out which of my rivals this is.

EDIT 4: Stop telling me to contact the police about his attempts to murder me or his age. It's complicated in regards to his age but he's essentially 15 and I can already defend myself way better than the police can in regards to his murder attempts. Also the police would probably try to arrest me too because they're either useless or make things actively worse.

EDIT 5: Stop DMing me to ask how murder attempts can be fun. I shouldn't have to explain this.

EDIT 6: Stop implying I'm a masochist.

EDIT 7: Stop implying I'm an adrenaline junkie. If I just wanted adrenaline I've got tons of other people who could give me that.

EDIT 8: To everyone who actually responded with advice, thank you. I attempted to talk to him about it, we fought again, and it turns out he's been acting aggressive because he doesn't know how to show affection so he just defaults to violence. We ended up holding hands after we physically couldn't fight anymore. It was a great night and I think we're together now.

EDIT 9: Which of you motherfuckers sent this to Tails.

ORIGINAL POST

Hi everyone, using a throwaway account to make this post because my little brother knows my main and the embarrassment would kill me if he ever saw this. 

So for context, I've known this guy for a while now, at least in the context of my life. I've got a pretty hectic life and I'm a traveler, so I've met a lot of people and he's one of the few that's been able to keep up with me. Our first meeting was during a bit of a stressful time because he kind of inadvertently framed me for thievery (we look kinda alike and the police are stupid, it's not his fault but I was pretty pissed at the time) and got me arrested, so we ended up fighting about it in the middle of the street. I'm used to fighting and pretty good at it, so it was a surprise when he turned out to be basically my equal at it, which is pretty rare even among my other rivals. He got the upper hand on me for long enough that the police were able to arrest me again. I was pretty mad but also impressed. Our second meeting was even more stressful because I had just got out of jail after being arrested for the second time, and I was still angry about it so we fought again. I was about to win but then it turned out we were both in danger along with some friends of mine so we both left as fast as we could. Both of these times I could tell he was taking the fight seriously, but I could also tell he wasn't trying to KILL ME kill me. Y'know?

Anyway, in our next meeting he was definitely trying to kill me. Outright said it to my face. I won that fight thankfully, and I'm not even angry about it because a lot of people have tried to kill me over the years and also he has some kind of goal I was getting in the way of, and he didn't even succeed. He ended up changing his mind about that goal though, and when we next saw each other we were on the same side trying to deal with a mutual threat. 

And it was at that point I kind of realized I was in love. I've never really wanted a relationship because I thought it would get in the way of my lifestyle, but with this guy specifically it wouldn't be a problem. I would have told him about it, but then I thought he died and I didn't see him for a while. I wasn't too broken up about it because we only knew each other for a couple days, but I was still sadder than I thought I would have been.

He ended up coming back to life though, and he had lost his memories for the second time in his life (long story I'm not gonna get into) and he didn't really remember me anymore. I know from a mutual friend of ours that he remembered me well enough to be annoyed by my name, which made me irrationally happy, and I think he did end up getting his memories back, but when we first saw each other he definitely didn't know who I was. We fought again, it was a tie, and then we ended up teaming up to take down a mutual enemy again. 

Things have been a bit less chaotic since then. We've fought a couple more times but nothing serious, he's saved my life, I've saved his, you know how it goes. We haven't really talked about anything that happened, but that's fine because neither of us have ever been much for verbal communication and we understand each other just fine. I've tried getting over my crush on him, but that's never really worked because we see each other a lot due to our lifestyles and we have some mutual friends in common, and I like spending time with him anyways, even if we're just beating each other up most of the time.

Personality wise, he's basically my polar opposite, but we get on pretty well despite that. I think aside from my general attraction to danger and his ability to match me in a fight and a race that might be the main thing that draws me to him. I've got a lot of friends, but never one so different from me and yet so similar. He's just always been special to me.

But the main reason I'm making this post is because despite all we've been through, he still acts like we're enemies at worst and temporary allies at best. We fight almost every time we meet unless something less serious is going on, and he's pretty grumpy and mean to me all the time. I like this about him, but it does make me question if he even sees me as anything more than a rival, and I don't know how to ask him because we don't talk about weird emotional stuff. I also think that asking him directly could maybe lead to another murder attempt, which would be fun, but it's not what I'm looking for anymore. I don't mind all the fighting, but just once I'd like to kiss him on the mouth instead of punching his teeth in, y'know?

[incognit0slut]

Right Kind of Wrong (15)

She ever thought she’d be involved in a murder investigation and encounter her one-night-stand again, the awkward guy who isn’t exactly that good in bed—Or is he? Offended by the sentiment, Spencer is determined to prove her wrong… But as he gets tangled with the beautiful stranger, he realizes there is more to her than what meets the eye.

Part Summary: Spencer is determined to find her whereabouts. wc: 3.5k

Series Warnings: 18+ explicit content, graphic details of murders, mentions of suicide, mentions of SA

A/n: I want to thank everyone for sticking to this series, don’t worry, I didn’t forget it, life has just been weird lately😔 Also I want to mention there’s like 5 parts left? I think

Other parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

"REID, NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT."

Spencer wasn't sure how many times he heard those words. He knew they were told to bring him comfort, something his team members kept on reciting, yet a sense of skepticism gnawed at him. He couldn't shake the feeling that they were nothing more than lies. How could he not when the only thing he could do was blame himself for what happened?

His shoulders slumped, his eyes were filled with anguish, and his heart held a heavy burden of guilt.

He should've deduced the real Unsub.

He should've been the one keeping her safe.

You also should've never left her fucking house, you idiot.

He hated swearing, even if it was in his own mind—which, truthfully, was so much worse considering he despised being trapped in his own head. Possessing a psychology degree enabled him to understand the detrimental effects of being trapped within one's own thoughts, yet he couldn't escape the clutches of his own mind. The knowledge of this predicament weighed heavily on him, a cruel irony that he understood all too well.

"Pretty boy, are you even listening to me?"

He was, he just didn't want to respond. Morgan was the third person to say those words to him. The first came from JJ, who was the first one to assure him when he had a panic attack at the warehouse. Second was from Prentiss, who he met when he rushed to Y/n's house after collecting himself. And now Morgan was cornering him at the hospital as they waited for Sandy, laid in one of the rooms, to recover from her concussion.

"Reid."

"I heard you," he snapped. Then a thought occurred to him at Morgan's sudden knowledge of his involvement with their witness. "How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"The reason why I'm acting this way." He had to elaborate when Morgan merely raised his eyebrows. "Why I'm... blaming myself so much."

"Everyone knows you're involved with her. Heck, I knew it the first time we met her that night. Remember that? You pretended you didn't know her," Morgan recalled. "You weren't as subtle as you think."

God, that night seemed like it happened yesterday. He couldn't believe how much had happened, and to think she was just a stranger when he first met her, a stranger he would never see again... now all he could think about was her. Her smile. Her safety. His stomach churned. The guilt he felt was a relentless, gnawing ache that refused to let go.

Morgan suddenly pulled him. His sudden, determined grip propelled him toward the vending machine stationed at the far end of the hospital corridor. Irritated, he couldn't help but drag his feet along the floor. "What are you doing?"

"You need coffee," Morgan replied, "you function better with caffeine in your system."

"We need to wait for Sandy—"

"She's not going anywhere, Kid. There's no use hovering in front of her door now."

Reluctantly, Spencer gave in. He allowed his friend to pour a cup of coffee; the warmth and aroma offering a small comfort amidst the hospital's stark surroundings. Slowly, with a nod of gratitude, he accepted the cup from his outstretched hand.

"How are you holding up?" Morgan asked.

Spencer took a moment to collect his thoughts before responding to the question. "It's hard to process everything."

A heavy silence hung between them. Morgan's sigh broke the stillness, and he began, "Look, it's not—"

But Spencer cut him off, his voice tinged with guilt and self-blame. "Not my fault?" he said with a mix of frustration and anguish. "Morgan, I was there before it happened. I was at her house before I left to check the warehouse, just to step into his trap. The Unsub managed to pass through Officer Anderson and hurt her closest friend at the same time. If I was still there..."

"Reid, it's not about placing blame. You couldn't have known what would happen. The Unsub's actions were calculated and malicious, even if you had stayed, we can't predict how events would have unfolded." Morgan gave him a pointed look. "Blaming yourself won't help her, and it won't help you either."

Spencer's head shook with regret as he leaned against the cool hospital wall, his thoughts consumed by the painful memories of that night. "I hurt her," he confessed, his voice filled with remorse. "My words were hurtful, and so were my actions, and the thought of... the thought of her being in danger with the last thought of me—"

"We'll find her," Morgan assured him. "And when we do, you'll apologize to her for whatever happened."

Spencer gazed at him with a sense of desperation. In that instant, he unearthed a deep, previously unrecognized truth buried within his heart. It was a stark revelation, an understanding that struck him like a bolt of lightning amidst the storm of emotions he was weathering.

For the first time, he comprehended the true extent of his feelings. Until now, her presence in his life had been a catalyst, a spur-of-a-moment he never expected. He had taken her warmth for granted, never fully appreciating the depth of his attachment to her.

However, the threat to her safety had shattered his complacency. The fear of losing her, coupled with the regret of leaving their last interaction on such a bitter note, had awakened a realization within him. It hit him with a force that was as terrifying as it was enlightening. It was a moment of clarity, a realization that his feelings were far more significant than he had ever allowed himself to admit.

"You really like her, don't you?"

Spencer looked up, but before he could respond, his brief moment of vulnerability was abruptly interrupted by a sudden commotion. Without a second thought, he hastily left his coffee on a nearby chair and rushed toward the end of the hallway, Morgan following closely behind, as a doctor rushed into Sandy's room.

Between the flurry of medical staff, Spencer spotted a passing nurse and stepped into her line of vision. His voice was urgent, laced with concern as he asked, "What happened?"

The nurse delivered the news, "She's gaining consciousness," before swiftly disappearing into the room.

"We'll get some answers," Morgan reassured him from behind. "Don't worry, Reid, we'll find her."

Spencer nodded, his heart filled with a renewed sense of determination. The fact that Sandy had woken up was a glimmer of hope. It wasn't until a few minutes later the doctor emerged from the room, regarding the two men waiting in front of the door.

"She's awake and stable, but we'll need to monitor her for any potential complications." After a brief pause, the doctor continued, "It's apparent that she's still quite shaken. I would recommend that only one of you Agents speak with her."

They both nodded in agreement as the doctor left. Morgan turned toward Spencer. "You should talk to her."

He hesitated for a moment. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Morgan confirmed. "I'll go check on Oliver in the meantime."

Spencer's thoughts swirled with unease at the mention of Oliver, their suspected Unsub who had turned out to be a pawn in a larger scheme, who was lying unconscious on another floor. He nodded, and as Morgan walked away, he slowly gathered himself and entered the room.

Stark, white walls greeted him as he stepped inside, followed by the beeping sound of the monitors rhythmically punctuating the silence. Sandy lay in the bed, a fragile figure amidst the pristine white sheets. Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling as he called out to her.

"Sandy?" Spencer carefully addressed her, observing the way she shifted on the bed before her gaze slowly met his. "I'm Dr. Spencer—"

"Reid," she finished for him, locking her gaze onto his with a surprising familiarity. "You're the FBI agent she's been talking about."

A moment of surprise shot through him, the realization that she had been talking about him caught him off guard. "She told you about me?"

"On a few occasions," she confessed, and then her gaze sharpened as she looked at him. "You hurt her."

Spencer's heart sank deeper, a heavy burden of guilt weighing him down. "What did she say?"

"She never really told us why she looked so sad that night, and considering you were mostly the topic of conversation when I was with her, I just assumed you had something to do with her mood swings."

His guilt deepened, yet he couldn't help but notice Sandy's choice of words. "Us? You both weren't alone?"

Sandy's gaze held a mixture of curiosity and concern. "What happened?" she pressed instead, her brows furrowing. "What happened after I passed out?"

Spencer took a hesitant step closer to the bed. "What do you remember?"

"I remember inhaling something disgusting."

He nodded gravely. "We suspect the Unsub used Chloroform on you."

Sandy's furrowed brow reflected both her confusion and unease. "What's an Unsub?"

"Unknown Subject, it's a term used when we haven't yet identified a suspect in a crime."

A heavy silence enveloped the room as Sandy absorbed the information. Her thoughts churned, and a growing sense of unease gnawed at her. A thought suddenly hit her. She glanced around the room, her anxiety mounting in the absence of her friend.

The question escaped her lips with an anxious edge to her voice. "Where's Y/n?"

Sandy didn't like the expression that crossed Spencer's face. It was a look that confirmed her worst suspicions, and a wave of dread washed over her as she braced herself for what he was about to say.

"We don't have that information," Spencer confessed, and the shock in her widened eyes was unmistakable. Her lips quivered as her thoughts raced, grappling with the gravity of the situation. She found herself haunted by guilt that this had somehow happened because of her.

"It's my fault," she whispered, her voice a mere breath, but the weight of her confession carried regret.

Spencer now understood what Morgan meant about avoiding self-blame. "It's not your fault," he reiterated. "Listen, there's no use in blaming yourself, what you can do is help us by recalling what you remembered that night."

Sandy's gaze remained troubled, but she eventually opened up about what had transpired, something he didn't see coming.

"I- It was Eric," she admitted, her voice trembling with the admission. "Eric came with me to her house."

Spencer was struck by shock and disbelief, his mind racing to process this revelation.

"Eric Adler?"

She nodded in confirmation, and his world collapsed.

Spencer wasn't perfect. He knew that, like anyone else, he could make mistakes. Typically, he accepted his humanity and the occasional errors that came with it. However, now was not the time for him to make any mistakes, not when her life hung on the line.

He felt like a complete idiot. He was renowned for his intellect and now it seemed as if his stupidity was mocking him. The realization of his own oversight infuriated him and a storm of anger surged through his veins. He was mad at himself, seething with frustration. He hastily fished out his phone and sent a message to Garcia.

Find everything you can on Eric Adler. Now.

Turning his gaze back to Sandy, his features shifted to a more grave demeanor. The urgency in his voice was palpable.

"Tell me everything you know."

Her head was spinning. Y/n groaned at the relentless ache throbbing inside her head. It felt as though a sledgehammer was pounding her skull, every throb sending ripples of pain through her. Her body felt heavy, each limb an effort to move, and her eyelids seemed to be fused.

She managed to shift, and it was at that moment, as her fingers brushed against the coarse bedcover, that she realized she was lying on what appeared to be a bed. The mattress beneath her was surprisingly comfortable, a stark contrast to the chaos inside her head. She shifted again, and after countless attempts, she finally managed to blink her eyes open.

"Took you long enough, Sleeping Beauty."

The voice sent a jolt of panic surging through her, eyes widening as she strained to focus on her surroundings. The room was shrouded in darkness, save for the faint, flickering glow of an old lamp perched on top of a crate. Occasional beams of moonlight pierced through the dusty window panes, casting eerie, uneven patterns on the wooden floor.

The unmistakable scent of hay filled her senses, reinforcing the realization that she was in an old, rustic barn, long past its days of use. The walls, rough and weathered, seemed to close in on her, the space surprisingly narrow with the mattress beneath her positioned by the floor.

But that wasn't what surprised her the most. It was Eric, seated on a wooden chair that had clearly seen better days, watching her intensely with a smile on his face.

"If you hadn't woke up earlier, I would have resorted to my own methods," his smile looked even more ominous. "And I can assure you, you wouldn't have liked it."

Her wide eyes remained fixed on him. What happened to her kind coworker? Or her good friend? This was an entirely different man that she knew of. The eerie smile, so out of place in their past interactions, was etched onto his face like a sinister mask.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he pondered, leaning forward, his voice carrying an unsettling calmness. In his hand, she now realized, was a glinting knife, pointed at her way. "It's just me, Y/n, I'm no stranger to you."

He wasn't a stranger then, but he certainly was now. She stared at him, a creeping realization dawning as she slowly sat up, her fingers brushing against something cold and unyielding, and her heart sank.

"I wouldn't move too much if I were you."

Her eyes moved to the chain holding her, the metal bolted securely into the wall. It was a thick, unforgiving shackle, the links rough against her skin, the very sight of it sent shivers down her spine. Fear took a firm hold of her, like a vice squeezing her chest, making it difficult to breathe. She trembled, her voice shaking as she finally managed to speak, "W-Why are you doing this?"

"You're seriously questioning me when you should be thanking me instead?"

Her voice wavered as she responded, her fear making way for a touch of anger. "Thanking you for what? Murdering people?"

"They weren't innocent,” he spat, his anger flaring as he glared at her. "You should know better than to act as if you didn't want them dead."

"I didn't," she assured him.

"You resented them."

She let out a shaky breath. "...maybe, but I would never wish any of them harm." Then she choked out, "Why are you doing this, Eric?"

His features softened, his gaze locked onto hers as he leaned closer. "You really want to know the reason?" He held her gaze with a disturbing tenderness as he whispered, "Because I love you, Sweetheart."

Her heart pounded as his words hung in the air. "No, you don't," she quickly responded, her voice laced with a mixture of fear and disbelief. "If you did, you wouldn't have—"

"I said," he pressed on, the knife still pointing toward her, his eyes locked onto hers with an eerie intensity. "Because I love you."

She knew it was best not to provoke someone holding a knife. Instead, she carefully asked, her voice trembling, "Since when?"

"Ever since you started working with us," he replied with a smile that felt more disconcerting than affectionate. "You've always been very special to me."

"Why... why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, I was scared of rejection, I guess. You never took any interest in me, and surprisingly I was fine with that, so the only way I could care for you was to be your friend." He grinned, his smile devoid of any warmth. "And kill people who hurt you, of course."

Tears welled up in her eyes, spilling over and streaming down her face. Her trembling lips caught them, the taste of her own despair lingering on her tongue, a bitter flavor that seemed to confine the darkness of the moment.

"Oh, stop crying. They were never good enough for you," he chided. He got up and started to pace in front of her, his words steeped in a delusional justification for his actions. "Your scumbag of an ex? He should've seen it coming. That pervert of a lawyer? Should've cut him into pieces. And Jamison? Well, I honestly think I was doing a favor for everyone who hated him."

He gazed at her with a mixture of pity and disdain as she continued to cry, his expression an eerie blend of false sympathy. "Don't worry, I didn't kill them all..." He let out a sigh. "I took pity on Oliver."

"W-What did you do to him?" She cried, her voice breaking with a mix of fear and desperation.

"Gave him a few stabs, but nothing too serious," he replied casually, waving the knife through the air as if discussing a minor inconvenience. "He'll be fine."

Her heart sank at his callous response. "I thought you grew up together."

"I lied about not being close with him the other day, you know? We were best friends, actually. But that's another story to tell," he admitted, his words revealing a chilling aspect of his twisted psyche. He then glared at her, a mix of frustration and hostility in his eyes. "You seriously need to stop looking at me like that. I spared him, it was only a few stabs."

Anger surged within her, ignited by his disturbingly casual demeanor, and she found herself unable to suppress her mounting fury any longer. "You're fucking sick," she spat.

He took a step forward, his eyes narrowing as he loomed closer. "You shouldn't talk to me like that," he emphasized, pointing the knife at her once more. "You're chained to the wall, I could do anything to you."

She took a deep breath, trying to calm the erratic beat of her heart, though the horror still gripped her like a vice. Her face was etched with a stark, unmistakable expression of fear and disbelief. He rolled his eyes.

"Don't act so scared now, I won't do anything—well, not now, at least," he stated with a laugh, taking a step back, as if he were granting her some temporary respite. "For now... I have yet to finish my vengeance for you."

"V- Vengeance? You think of them as vengeance?" She asked in disbelief. "Oliver didn't even hurt me."

"He kept pestering you when you clearly weren't interested in him, he needed a little lesson," he explained, a chilling justification in his tone. Then he narrowed his eyes at her. "But there is one person who has hurt you recently, and I think we both know who that is."

His words hung in the air like a dark cloud, filling her with a growing sense of dread. Her eyes widened, her voice heavy with desperation. "No! Eric, no, please, don't hurt him—"

"He's not good for you, Y/n. He never will be."

"Eric! Please!" She was beginning to wail, her pleas filled with anguish and despair, as she felt the walls of her world closing in on her. The chains rattled ominously when she moved. "Please..."

"I need to punish him, Sweetheart, he hurt you," he said with a chilling detachment. He gave her a pitiful look. "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows."

"Please—Please don't, Eric," She pleaded desperately, her voice shaking with an overwhelming fear. "No..." She shook her head and sobbed, "Don't h-hurt him... please..."

Her pleas fell on deaf ears, and the disturbing determination in his gaze made it clear that he had made up his mind. He turned around, leaving her in a state of helpless dread. "I'll see you later," he added with a sinister remark. "Don't cry too much while I visit your FBI boyfriend."

As he walked away, the barn's shadows seemed to close in around her. She did exactly the opposite—she relentlessly cried herself to sleep, seeking solace in the safety of her dreams, however fleeting, as she yearned for an end to this nightmare that had somehow become her reality.

>> NEXT PART

a/n: y'all can stop cursing poor Oliver now😭

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taglist #1

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PLEASE READ: If you already asked me to be added but you're not on the list OR you want to be added in the future, please comment on this post so I can see it. But make sure your blog can be searched or I can't tag you. Or if you want to be removed you can also tell me. Thank you :)

Don’t forget to interact with the story!

[the-entitie]

COD men x K-9 Unit male reader

Part 1 | Part 2》》

A/n: I can speak three languages, only one of which borrow German words, so forgive me for shitty translations. I'm from the RSA, so you know. Not any of the boys hometown.

Reader works with a K-9 unit and his partner is called Mutt who is a mix breed of Alaskan Akita and Doberman(Mutt is also a service dog as reader has paranoia and C-PTSD). Readers call sign is Riot. The 141 boys needed help tracing a terrorist and John called in some favors to bring Riot and Mutt into the field. He helped the Los Vaqueros as well.

After the mission back at base, the reader interacts with the men, and they end up interacting with him.

Reader is referred to as you or Riot.

Mentions of panic attacks, anxiety attacks, C-PTSD, war, and / or war related violence. Unhealthy coping mechanisms, past trauma. Death of a family member. Torture, scars, and flashbacks.

Left: American Akita and Right: Long-haired Doberman

John Price: (740 words)

-He met you first, saw you first. Hell, he verified your file so he knew of your old teammates that turned because of the torture, and he knew of the many years you spent MIA. He also knows what you did to get out. So he keeps you close and keeps an eye on you. He's the one who needs to clear you for this recon mission. It will be his fault if another team mate goes rogue. -It only take him a few minutes to see how much you actually relay on Mutt, it takes him days to see its not reliance, no the two of you act in a cemented trust between you two. From the interactions at home base to the way you both move like a well oiled machine on the field, it doesn't take a genius to see that Mutt is a deadly force with training that makes the hound that much more dangerous. Price comes face to face with that realization when he sees just how far Mutt can throw a soldier four times their size. And Mutt came up to his thighs, mind you. -Time and space are all Price really needed to trust you completely. He knew how you acted with Mutt, and therefore, he knew how you would act around a team you trust. It doesn't take him long to see its not only Mutt who reacts to you. You react just as much based on your K-9. Price nearly shoots you when you call out to Mutt because you didn't whistle for the hound. You howled, and he could hardly tell it apart from the wild dogs he's heard out in the desert. He didn't even understand what the fuck you where doing until he heard something answer you, in the same rumbling call. It took a lot more time to get used to those kinds of noises from you. He could expect them from Mutt but not when it's you who makes them -Both of you were exhausted, been about three long days on your feet with little sleep, that's when he asks you how you make the sounds Mutt does. Hell he even starts trying to learn them just to know how you and you K-9 partner work better. "So I just cup my hands and what now Riot? I Grunt?" "No," you laugh at him, he doesn't feel patronized by it, "you hold your hands around your mouth and just bark, makes it echo like a dog." He sounded more like a mountain lion then canine when he actually gave it a try. You teach him how to pitch it up a bit, and how to drag the call out properly. "And you don't use your hand because?" "Because I'm used to it, and can make the 'echo' without my hands. I still do when I howl. Look." A few nights pass before he uses it to scare a tango shitless out side of the enemy base. He doesn't admit it but he likes 'talking' to the local wild dogs with you. He even enjoys hearing you and Mutt go off at each other because it means your both alive and still here. -Out side of the field and when you two go out to roam the town at the dead of night, he comes to see that the canine noises you and Mutt share gives you peace. The kind he used to find in cigars and smoke. He gets it, he knows that some people just have a vice. When you find him smoking alone behind his own home, he shrugs it off and blames it on the smoke detectors. He doesn't say that he stops to make your K-9 more comfortable in his home. He doesn't stop smoking but he tries to avoid it for your sake. You only corner him around a day or so to thank him. He won't admit to the red flaring up on his ears, but he tells you to drop it. -If he's ever the one who finds you when your having an attack, he will guard you. Get you safe and comfortable then he will become a gruff mother bear and be completely over protective of you. He only calms down when he sees that Mutt already does that, and he learns what can help you, what to look out for. He won't admit it though.

Simon 'Ghost' Riley: (734 words)

-Ghost didn't like you at first. or well he doesn't like anyone actually but he didn't like you. -You had a dog breed that was originally made for bear bating and he hated that he knew that. Even if you didn't get the hound because of that. Well, that and Mutt is constantly muzzled. It took you explaining it was required by law for him to try and ignore it. -But when he watches how fluidly you and Mutt work together, even seeing the raw fucking power that dog has when Mutt tackled an enemy to the ground, he starts to understand why you have to keep Mutt muzzled. Even if he didn't like it. -Simon has an ex-military dog at home so he knows how to act around an active working dog. He's the best to be around if you don't want people petting or trying to do anything really with your K-9 partner. -when at the base afterwards he sees that the dog isn't just a working dog but acts like you service dog. Everything from crowd control to doing small tasks for you on the daily. To siting between your legs when you have your back to anyone when doing a task to protect you. Mutt will even start doing this quiet sort of 'rueff' sound that will make you get out of where ever you are without any fanfare, you will just disappear. -He only finds out why a lot later. He feel kind of stupid for missing it after the fact. -Its the scars that cross your back and over your shoulders, the hitches of thick skin around your jaw. You are a torture survivor. So suddenly he gets it. Mutt is your safety, the dog wears a muzzle because your K-9 partner is also a person protection dog. -After he realized the why you stick to your partner so closely, he would begin to help Mutt protect you. He would stand ahead of you when Mutt would lay down to create space (crowd control). Ghost would watch your back and react with your partner to help you. -He takes his mask off when you two are either alone or when your are forced to show your scares he shows some of his to help you feel more comfortable. -you start to notice it, and at first you would try to stop him but eventually you just start protecting him back. You become more comfortable around him. Simon notices it to. -One day after a few days straight of being on your feet, both you and Simon end up passed out in his private quarters. Ghost wakes first to see Mutt cuddle against you and draped across him, when ever he tried to move the dog, they would just growl and to his utter amusement you growled back. -After that he gets you to 'talk' to Mutt any time he can, even on missions. - Ghost was the one who told you and Mutt to bark at each other to distract the enemy when on a recon mission. "Copy Riot, we need an in" "Need an in, copy. Any ideas for that L.t?" "Yeah, Riot go off and make some noise with Mutt" "Seriously?" "Yip, get going we need that data" You two got in, and yes you did start howling back and forth with Mutt in the echo trick wolves use. The enemy thought they were surrounded by cayotes. -When you eventually cuddle up with Ghost again, and Mutt yips or growls at you and you make the noise back, Simon will growl at you. It becomes a games between you to, even doing it as call outs outside of coms. Soap complains about wild dogs once and now Simon will get Mutt vocal just to fuck with Soap. -he starts calling you dog related nicknames, your name doesn't exist anymore. Call sign? only when necessary. You are now called with doggie names. He'll call out a, "Heh, Good boy" "Come on puppy you can speak" when you go dark on coms, or just when you don't answer him. Yes he will also say things like, "What ever you say Fido" -He makes you swear to never tell a soul that he also barks back at Mutt when you two are off duty. You caught him coping a growl when playing with Mutt once. -He gets Mutt and his las to meet. Now he also makes dog sounds with you on his down time, even without you much to his old girls delight.

John “Soap” Mactavish: (616 words)

-He loves your K-9 partner from the first time Price introduces you to the team, sure he tries to be professional but the second you let Mutt go off to play out of gear he just wants to give the hound so many pets. They are just so big and have that cute angry tilt to their face! Can you blame him. -when out on the field, he loves running with two of you on missions. The adrenaline and rush and just how much faster you two are than him. He loves it. -You end up doing it with him outside of missions after a while. Hiking out in mountains and secluded valleys, it's the first time he hears you howl with Mutt. The coyotes had started, yipping over whatever they killed lower down the ridge. Mutt, who was a few paces head, had paused to howl, without thinking you howl with them. Scares Soap but he just finds it fun. -Soap being so in love with Mutt leads to just being around you a lot. He starts learning what certain movements mean to you and your dog, how a sharp left with your hand was a call to draw back or how the shift of your stance meant to take the lead. It amazed him how well you read each other. -Then he sees how you act outside of the field, how Mutt still acted like a protector, and you kept mimicking the sounds Mutt made. Especially when you were more tired. He found it cute. Hell, he loved playing with Mutt, so when you made the hound more excited, he also got just as if not more excited. -Soap loves head scratches you find out when you two are off duty and hanging out. He's on the floor with Mutt and the hound he's cuddling wines before you reach down to comfort the dog with head scritches. You miss and pet Soap instead, beside being completely flustered, he asked you to do it again.  He just starts asking you to do it more and more before you start petting him the same way you pet over your hound. -Now you start with the dog related nicknames, even over coms. Much to Soaps embarrassment and the teams delight. He nearly buckles the first time you call him a good boy, and he does when you call him a good dog. Blames it on a miss step. -He loves, loves, loves listening to you, and Mutt yap back and forth, loves even more when you go to rough houses with growls and even try pining you down one. He fails, but he doesn't care. -Soap only catches one of your attacks when it's about sun down. You're both at his place standing in the kitchen when your shoulders suddenly hitch, but you continued on as normal. Until Mutt wandered over to you, they stopped dead before making a gruff noise and jumping up onto you. Instead of getting you secluded because, of course, the hound sees Soaps house as a safe space. And Mutt will get you down, force you to sit and lower your head. "Woh, n'er knew em ta jump? Wait shit. ROIT!" He'll be right there next to you, knows what to do because of Ghosts episodes on recons. "What's it, lad? What can I do ta help 'im?" -You don't really talk about it. Sure, you explain what it was and why Mutt did that, but not the why it happened. It takes a while to admit that the scares you hide are the reason for that attack. He gets it he does, and now? Mother fucker will do dumb shit to distract you, or just talk and talk and talk. It helps, he knows it helps.

König: (764 words)

-Being a sniper, he likes the added security, the extra eyes to help watch his back. Sure, he doesn't trust you per say but he tries to be friendly none the less. -He had no idea what Mutt was trained for until he saw the both of you take down someone who made it to his vantage point. He saw how you moved like Mutt was an extension of yourself, that's how you earn his respect. -König didn't know why you had so many commands for Mutt, but most of them were cues or just situational. Most of all, the verbal commands you use are in Russian and Dutch so he can understand some of the tasks you ask Mutt to do . It kind of scares him that Mutt would know which trail was a friend and which person wasn't. He stands by that fear when he watches you set them off on a run away target. -He will only admit to himself that both you and Mutt look way to good covered in the gore from that attack. -You had to explain that that kind of training meant your partner had to be muzzled. You both get to talking that night, swapping stories of close calls, and König shyly showed you the star splattered scar on his jaw. Lifting his hood up just enough to see it before hurriedly drooping it back down. You share a few of the worse days you had as a call in search and riot guard and snippets of the scars covering your throat. -Habits begin forming. König will be a silent wall between you and crowds while Mutt would start alerting to his anxiety attacks as well. You made a joke about borrowing Mutt to him on the days off. He didn't understand the first time Mutt barked at him in a weird gruff tone before jumping up and doing it again. It's when you get him secluded and safe that you explain it to him. "Its called signaling. They can tell you when these things are going to happen or are actively happening. " "So it's to let me know?" "Yeah, for me, it's when I'm going to either for a flash back or when my paranoia forces me into a panic attack." "Flash back?" "Yes, remember that sister I told you about." -It took days for you to actually relay that story to him. How your team abandoned you, how the enemy held your sisters head above your bloody form. You explained how that caused phantom pains or flashbacks and how crippling that can be some days. -He becomes your solace after that. He would be there when you needed it. Keep people away when you couldn't look at anyone. He even began listening to Mutts alerts. He even lets you help him through the easier ones. -König called you one night when you both were off for the next few days. You could tell by the shake on his breath what was happening before he could tell you. That was when you showed him how Mutt does decompression therapy, the hound big enough to help ground him. You stayed that night, even teaching König some of the commands you use to tell Mutt how to help you. He's quick to learn them as some phrases are Dutch that you use so he can catch the meaning of some commands. -You don't call him until a long while later. It's on a mission while you two are hunkered down after a botched extraction. Or well, Mutt calls him. "Riot? Are you, Oh Scheiße! 「Shit」" "wat 「what」, ag. What can I do? Dir helfen 「Help you」, how can I help. Please let me help you. " -He ended up holding how so you couldn't hurt yourself in these attacks. It didn't feel as entrapped as you thought it would. König is so much bigger than you, but it's like he makes a physical barrier between you and the world. He helps your partner make you feel safe. It's hard to explain to anyone why your panic attacks act like that, why your mind needs pain to calm from feeling like you're dying. König will explain how his attacks can feel suffocating, and that's why his jaw and throat are so bruised most days. -Between one mission and the next, you start showing off things you and Mutt can do to him, like Mutt retrieving throne knives or how the hound can trace any sent it knows for miles. -You only bark back at Mutt one night when trapped in a safe house. Neither of you could find each other, and mutt had run off

Alejandro Vargas: (720 words)

-Learning of the terrorist stationed so close to los vaqueros' home base, Alejandro was quick to reach out. The 141 had helped him before, so he was surprised to learn of the newer recruit they called in to help them. Alejandro told Price to just bring you along. They needed the extra help honestly, as much as he refused to trust any of 141 purely on principle. They needed the help. -He met you with Ruddy on the roof of the office building, and he asked the polit to land on. When you dropped from the helicopter with the others. Mutt held to your chest before being deposited on the ground. He's seen how some of the other search and rescue units who have K-9's, but he's never seen anyone who works with their hound like you do. Alejandro is both grateful and terrified to have you fighting with him.  -Seeing you and Mutt outside the field was even more intriguing. How the two of you reacted perfectly to each other, he saw a bit of himself and Rudy in the way you two work like a well-oiled machine. He tried to play nice, be kind and calm, but when shit hit the fan? He drops it. Its only been a week before you use the recall command on Mutt to level the man they needed to interrogate. Both of you were forced to hunker down in a safe house, Alejandro making the bound man walk with little success. He asked for your help not long after the son had dipped down.  "Think he will talk?" "Not willingly if that file you circulated was true." "Any ideas?" "You aren't scared of loud noises, are you?" "Not really, why?" -When you said you could help, this isn't what he was expecting, but it was working. You had taken to standing behind the tied down guy, and whenever Alejandro could sound even remotely frustrated,  you would call out to Mutt before the dog would lunge with a snarl or harsh bark. Scared the man shitless, and he would mumble about 'de-ablo' or 'deamons' on and off. When things got too harsh, or either of you were cornered, he watched in equal parts horror and delight as you let Mutt cull those surrounding you all. Watch as you both kill together just as well as you work together. -It eventually became a joke, the whole you being a dog or sounding like one. Even when the two of you left the safe house. Hell, he started talking to you like he would your dog. Started to tease you with the same command you used on your hound. "Come on, Roit, I know you can beg better than that." "Here, cachorro cachorro cachorro [puppy puppy puppy]!" "Such a good boy, you want a treat?" "There we go, Good perro. Now sit for me." Even saying he kept treats for when you were especially well behaved. If you didn't also start laughing along he wouldn't have kept doing it and actually started keeping 'treats' on hand for you on the late nights you two would just talk on and on about nothing and everything. -Being back at the base and left to your devices, he started asking about everything Mutt could do. He would ask if you could also do the tricks and inquire about the ones you could. "Wait cariño, you can howl?" "Yeah. Wanna hear me?" "Oh more than anything." "hhhm, maybe I'll do it later." "I'm happy to beg you, but I think you would sound better begging me, cariño." "I don't beg Alejandro." "You will. And you'll sound so good doing it." "Try me," -He loved hearing you talk to Mutt. Just waiting up at night to listen to the back and forth of barking and yips that echo across the open land. Whether from far away or not, he loved it. -Alejandro is the worst when either of you get hurt. He is the worst flirt, and he lays the dog related teasing on twice as thick. Not only is Rudy swearing him out in broken Spanish, but you don't help either. Doing anything to help him stay conscious or playing along to distract yourself from the pain. Even Mutt begins to see him as safe.

More COD Boys x K-9 unit reader 》》》》

[im14andivebeen14foramonth]

My Outsiders experience last night!!!

hey y'all sorry for how late i'm posting this 😭😭 i didn't think id be so tired but going to school and then all of that traveling to and from the show last night wore me outtt (slept until almost noon oopsies). i really wanted to post this right after the show when everything was all fresh in my mind but i just could not muster up the energy. that being said if you send any asks about certain things it'll probably revive my memory a little bit so i can give more details about it

anywho here it goes!!

Act 1

have to start off by saying this was suchhh a surreal moment when i sat down in the theater for the first time since ive been obsessed with the outsiders for years and years

one general thing that i will say is that for some reason i expected the stage to be like huge but when i saw how much smaller it was than i imagined it actually made me feel so much closer to the actors and more in the moment which i ended up loving!!!

another general note THERE WAS SO MUCH SPITTING IT CAUGHT ME SO OFF GUARD

when i opened the pamphlet and saw that the only understudy was andre in place of renni for steve and i knew for certain that brody was there,,,,y'all i was freaking out

i was watching the left side of the theater for bordy for like a solid twenty minutes and i almot SCREAMED when i saw him walking down the aisle

the show started almost immediately after that which i didn't expect so it kind of threw me off guard but as soon as it started me and my friend were squeezing ech others hands so hard for like 30 minutes straight (side note my wrist is bruised thats how hard we were doing it)

brodys. vocals. OH MY GOD. i wasnt all that big on brody when i first found out about the musical but m mutuals have in fact swayed me and hearing him live. wow.

him sitting in the audience was so so SO cool

maybe i'm just delusional BUT me and my friend both swore that we saw brent looking right at our section at us during tulsa 67 and my heart started RACING brent i love you

the way the cars come on stage??? is so fucking cool????

did NOT know they dropped his notebook in the water my jaw dropped and the high-pitched ringing when he goes unconscious oh my goddddd

ace's "you wish" while holding her ass was so fucking funny

jason was being so playful with brent!! for the first like ten minutes of the show he was like smacking him with his towel nonstop; also during ggah you could see darry and soda arguing off to the side and darry looked sooo done (i could make a whole post dedicated to brents performance...maybe i will actually) and the way he flipped the bat in his hand was cool as hell; also do one dropped anything during the song!!!

soda and two-bit's little moment during ggah when soda sings "keeping the prettiest one on your arm" had me laughing so hard

runs in the family was so sad :(( but brents vocals were FANTASTIC live. and soda FOLD THE DAMN LAUNDRY!!!! HE GAVE YOU THE LAUNDRY BASKET FOR REASON DONT JUST DROP IT ON THE FLOOR you're making the poor boy upset >:(

jason was being sooo funny when he's on the bed with pony. he kept doing little voices and he was being super sweet too, he was playing with pony's hair and rubbing his shoulders the whole time. "544 FUCKING PAGES?!"

the flashlights in great expectations were such an amazing touch

POOR JOHNNY he looked so scared when his parents were fighting. also i will never shut up about how amazingly they use the sets, keeping the door open with the distant sound of his parents fighting was such a smart move

friday at the drive in was phenomenal live; cherry kept trying to get bob to follow her and he kept pulling away, bob looked so done with it when cherry and chet started dancing, marcia was like alll over tripp on the hood of the car and then chet and (i think?) paul were just laying all cute on the car together; plus THE DANCE BATTLE OH MY GOD???? i cant remember if it was steve or two-bit (my brain wants to say two-bit tho) but one of them started thrusting into the ground and my jaw was on the floor

i could talk to you all night...the vocals...so beyond honored to hear emma and brody get to harmonize like that right in front of me

kwp your acting HOLY HELL!!! he genuinely made me jump when he started yelling at cherry. "is there a problem here, robert?" "EAT SHIT MARCIA!"

"cherry valance" "NO SHIT!!!"

brent's anger during ritfr was sooo beyond palpable, he made me jump when he threw the bills at soda. also jason was so good at looking dejected, picking up everything and putting it back ont he table than trying to hold darry back from pony

far away from tulsa made me cry for the first time during the show!!

THE CARS AGAIN OH MY GOD!!! and the drowning scene?? the sound of pony screaming under the water??? the lights going out as bob dies and flashing before it cuts to him bloody in the fountain???? beyond phenomenal

run run brother you will always be famous to me. the boards acting as trains??? oh my god

Act 2

jft was one of the songs i was most excited to see live and it was BRILLIANT i loved the flashlights. also marcia holding back from cherry...oughhhh my heart. TWO-BITS SCREAM BROKE MY HEARTTT. and emma's opt-up!!! beautiful

general note since i don't know where to add this DAN BERRY I LOVE YOU!!!

death's at my door had me SOBBING

once again brent's anger in his fight with dally was amazing, and then the direct lead in into titt oughhhh

titt also had me sobbing by the end oh my god

the poem scene was beautiful, i was taken back to being ten years old and rewinding that scene of the movie a million times and to see it live in front of me? an honor

"ITS GOLD LOCKS AND HER UGLY SISTER!" dally was hilarious this whole scene

soda's letter...brent finishing the last line...just kill me why don't you

dally was IN johnny's face during their argument he was sooo angry i was not expecting that

when i saw pony throw the cigarette i was just kind of like "oh he threw the cigarette" and then a few seconds later i was like WAIT WAIT NOOO

THE FIREEEEEE. IT WAS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO COOL OH MY GODDDDDDD

hoods turned heros vocals were AMAZING. also darry looked so happy and proud of pony and it made me all teary

hey so. so who was going to tell me that dally carries in johnny's body like that. also he was right, johnny looked so small :(

hopeless war was DEVASTATING. that's the end.

i will forever love the lead in to trouble, the song is short but so underrated. "once a greaser always a greaser" darry marry me now

loved watching kwp and sky sneak onto the stage during the rumble

SPEAKING OF THE RUMBLE. THE FUCKING RUMBLE???? I WILL N E V E R SEE SOMETHING AS COOL AS THAT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME EVER AGAIN. THE LIGHTING?? THE RAIN?? THE SOUNDS??? THEIR FACES BEING TERRIFIED COVERED IN BLOOD??? PONY ALMOST HITTING JOHNNY THEN STOPPING????? KILL ME NOW OH MY GOD

"pony...pony...come closer" y'all i am not exaggerating that when he's in the bed, johnny sounds like a scared little boy it broke my heart. also soda calling johnny buddy hurttt me :(

when johnny died my fucking heart BROKE. ace was in the background clutching her hair and full on SOBBING. pony on the ground??? and i saw other people say that jason goes to hold pony but at least for this show he liked sat behind pony and pulled in down so that they were both like laying on the ground with pony on top of him. pony pulling away too......:(

joshua boone the fucking MAN THAT YOU ARE. little brother only made me keep crying twice as hard as before. and guys. GUYS. JOSHUA BOONE, A FULL GROWN MAN, WAS SOBBING LIKE A LITTLE BOY THE WHOLE SOG. WHENEVER HE WASN'T SINGING YOU COULD HEAR HIM AUDIBLY SOB AND HIS WHOLE FACE CRUMBLED. HE CAME AND STOOF IN FRONT OF MY AREA DURING THE BREAK IN THE SONG AND JUST CURLED IN ON HIMSELF AND STARTED SOBBING. MY HEART.

his death scene....when pony starts talking about his death and he stands in the lights of the train, pony isn't talking super loud and you could hear josh whimper and his face crumble again and he just kept doing it over and over again like he was STILL crying from the song while he was dying

the dinner scene hurt like a BITCH. one of my favorite moments int he whole show was when brent walked over to the tv to shut it off and the whole stage was just silent. it really amplified the tension

pony beating on darry's chest :( and then brent was crying so fucking hard and then JASON was crying so fucking hard. and then cherry walking in and them both tryign to act normal. speaking of cherry the voice she uses to talk to pony HURT. ME. WHEN SHE'S ABOUT TO LEAVE AND HE DOESN'T ANSWER AND SHE JUST GOES "okay." I WAS CRYINGGGG. and then another fav moment was when she leaves and her, darry and soda all say bye, they were all so quiet about it and it felt so natural

PONY. CLUTCHING THE CLOTHES. BURYING HIS FACE IN THEM??? SODA STARTING TO READ THE LETTER TO PONY???????????

stay gold. i have no words. it was fucking beautiful and i sobbed like a baby.

also like i said i could make a wholeee post just on brent, but i need to say this now. BRENT. WAS SITTING AT THAT TABLE FOR A SOLID LIKE TEN MINUTES. JUST SOBBING. he kept looking like he was trying to compose himself like sucking in big breaths, but then his lip would quiver and his face would just crumble and the tear would start up again and and AUGHHHHHHHH it hurt so so so bad

pony saying his writing probably wasn't any good. "can I read it?" DARREL CURTIS YOU ARE BREAKING MY HEART!! and also soda's "am i in it :)?" and when pony says darry's in it too and darry goes "oh great." the whole crowd was laughing and then him telling pony to make sure he has great hair in the book so so funny

not enough people laughed at the green beans scene and it made me sad >:(

when pony looks at johnny during the finale...and then johnny looks at dally and they smile at each other....ohhhh my god

also when pony started singing about dally it broke my heart ESPECIALLY since i didn't know dally sings that part too

side note when it was a little ways into the finale song and darry and soda are still eating at the table, brent winked at jason and when jason turned i could see im smiling a little bit. i think it was brent's way of checking in wih jason and making sure he was okay, it was super cute tho

overall the finale song was fantasticccc

Stagedoor!!

andre came out first, he was super super sweet!!

then victor came out, he was also awesome!!!

y'all....when rj walked out i almost SCREAMED. he's the only one that i got a good pic with (its fine tho cuz my friend got pics of everyone else) but when he was signing my book he went "what's uppppp :)" and i was ready to fucking EXPLODE my heart was racing. and then my friend's mom manage to get a pic of him smiling at me with this big ass grin and i'm not even goign to lie i keep going back and looking at the picture every few hours my heart is full omg

next up was kwp and let me tell you guys...if i was fangirling over rj i dont even know what to say about me with kwp i was on another LEVEL. he is very very pretty and his voice is insanely charming when he's talking and he looked me in my eyes and i just.....yeah i'll never be normal about this

last up was josh boone and i was also geeking out so hard. he was like "what's going on :)?" and he was super nice, he made sure to get a pic with me after signing everyone's stuff around me and reassured me that he didn't forget about me like halfway through the signings he was just super super nice

okay guys this post is LONGGG but i had sooo much to say (and i still have more to say sooo...spam the inbox if you want more details bc i am MORE than happy to yap about it!!) overall i just feel so beyond honored to watch this happen live in front of me after spending years and years of my life in love with the outsiders. me and my friend are trying to go back soon and sit front row :)

[deesseshesca]

What truth must I accept to move on ?

What again ? No ! No ! No ! You swore it will be the last time…

Good night pretty souls, today we are checking on your situation. Why did it needed to happen ? How can you alchemise it ? 

Choose the image that’s speak to you and allow yourself to soak ONLY what’s reasoning with YOUR SITUATION 

Rules and Disclaimer 

I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is sent with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else. 

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PILE 1 

Ace pentacles, ace wands (reverse), page swords (reverse), chariot, 999

Good night to my type A people, welcome to your reading. So lately you have concocted the most perfect budgeting plan to attend to your goals in the most efficient and successful way. I am also getting that you brought cute little things to ensure to motivate you throughout this saving journey. You know you're going to need to make some sacrifice on the way. Which can be frustrating in summer, especially when you see everyone around you spending a bag. I want to congratulate you for the healthy mindset you have regarding your money. Most of you are saving for your first car or first apartment. Someother to fund a change of career, thinking of starting nursing school or just to survive college. While others are trying to start a side hustle like becoming a lash tech or a nail tech. While harboring this tunnel vision mindset, I'm getting that people around you are not very supportive. Going as far as mocking you. But the truth you must accept: the journey towards your goal will never go smoothly. Pile 2, you are the type to plan for hours down to the very second. Anticipating everything that can go right or wrong. And when it does not go your way, you say ‘’fuck it. It ain’t even  worth it anyway. If it was really meant to be it will be easy’’ BULLSHIT ! You are the problem. You are to focus by the end of the journey, that you forget that you have to walk through the journey. Not just fly to it. Sometimes on your path something might stings or feet might hurt. The real issue is that you are missing stamina and only want to feel good. Good job, you have your priorities straight. But girl, you ain't just saving for some Mcdonal meal or a new lip gloss. You want a car, a house, a new career. Since the goal is bigger it requires more sacrifice. Letting go now, wil be like taking a big ‘’L’’.Head up, discipline over motivation. Building muscle is hard and it takes time just like a habit. Plus you have to stop thinking that life is happening to you. Babygirl, everyone got issues, you are not the only. Imma touch your heart when I said this, you are not the strongest soldier, so pick it up and keep it pushing. Because this victim mentality is making you act sour with people around you. I’m afraid to announce it to you, but you are the bad energy, you are the negative vibes rn. Hold on, before you click off this reading after this beautiful drag (you must admit…) is you have too much potential. And is pissing me off that you are allowing it to slip away from your hands. You are capable of standing strong on your boundaries and to create an amazing plan. That’s some qualities one will take a lifetime to master and you are born with it. Don’t become forceful, be the amazing leader you are meant to be. Don’t give up ! You will be rewarded in your finances/career. Finish what you started. The worst is that you know all that already. What’s funny is that you keep saying you don’t care, but your mind screams for it, your soul keeps reminding you that it wants it and your pinterest ain’t giving up on the vision yet.  Do do everyone a favor and go get it.  Do a deep life clean so you can make room for some new energy. Reflect on your life choices.

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Super shy -Newjeans

PILE 2 

Death (reverse) , ace cups, magician (reverse), emperor

You were meant to read this. Now ! Right now is giving the biggest scam in history just like what’s happening in your life. I’m hearing the tiktok that goes ‘’ Ok now, where’s the camera now. I must be getting prank now’’. The reality…you don’t want to move on.  You yearn for a past that ain’t never coming back. You also don’t want to deal with anything that can trigger you. But you can’t claim you heal, if you have the same reaction when the universe sends you variation of the same problem. And isolating ain’t going to help your case. But the universe finally got the message. Lucky you, you are getting to send a friend. Someone that will bring the sun back into your life. That person will trigger you (in a good and necessary way ) and she will not allow you to sabotage the way of y’all friendship. I’m understanding : poor timing, don’t have resources, cocky, delulu, personality disorder, force = I think you are going to have a Karen moment in a shop close to your house. She is going to trigger a crisis in you. Instead of looking at you like you are crazy, like most people do. That person will play along. Y’all going to be 2 crazy bitches in the store. And instead of feeling cornered, you will weirdly feel valited because usually when you act out people call you crazy. You just found another crazy person. Everytime will go back into the store, she will always be there. You will try to avoid her , but nah she will jockly always go to you. That person will grow on you. I’m feeling the opposite aesthetic. I see her being a bimbo and loving it and you our little emo angel. Honestly, I fell in love with her energy while channeling her. I was trying so hard to stay serious but nah, I ended up having a dance break. How can u notlove her, she’s a sweetheart. Girl, you might THINK, that you ain’t doing enough. But your spirit guard, the universe, anyone that allows themself to see more than what you project and I can assure that you are on top of your game. Especially after everything you went through and put up with. Keep your focus and discipline. You got this babe ! I’m proud of you ! When you are ready, let go of the version of you that no longer serves you. You don’t need to pay the price of your mistakes. 

I’m hearing: ‘’ You deserve this friendship’’ 

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POP - NAYEON

PILE 3 

Knight swords, ace pentacles (reversed), seven cups, High priestess, 1313 

Everything was fine until it wasn’t. When did it all go so wrong? It happened so unexpectedly. The only thing left standing is your BFF/sister. You never thought life would take u off overnight. I’m hearing you failed some important exams or your parents are very good but they badly gambled the finances and you have to pay the price for it. The truth is … it is always in front of your face. It’s been a while that you have been seeing and feeling that your studying routine is not working for you. But prefer to pretend that is everything else but what’s ahead of you. You always had a feeling that your parents were awful with money but did not dare to try to know how badly. Is not too late…yet. For a while now you pretend to be happy. Thinking that the more you fake it, you will finally feel it. Now you are down bad emotionally. You never thought you would ever be there. Babe is the the time to give in into distraction. Now you need to pull the rag under your feet and face your fears. You want to know what happiness is really about. You know it is time to do some deep healing. To question your self belief. From the silliest question to the most disturbing. ‘’Is my fav color really red ? What do I actually think about the government ? ‘’ You need some shadow work. Is not the time to act, is the time pounder. Also is your life. Babe nobody is behind you. If you want to take 1 year or 1 month at the crossroad nobody is coming for you. As long as you are confident about your choice. Is time to start fresh ! Step out of your comfort zone. You will learn a new skill that will get you some abundance and recognition. Be confident and trust in your decision. 

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What is love - TWICE

[battymommastuff]

The Loop [Lighting Strikes Twice]

Batmom x Batfamily

Prompt: Okay, what the hell is happening? She was perfectly fine...she was safe

Masterlist Part 1 Part 2

TW: DARK THEMES AND DEATH

Here you were making your delicious birthday breakfast. Here you were making your delicious breakfast...with your entire family watching you. You were glad that the kitchen was big enough to fit so many bodies inside of it. "I really don't need all of you to watch me. I'm sure I'll be perfectly fine cooking the eggs." You said jokingly, obviously unaware of what's been happening to you. After beating the eggs, you turned to grab a knife so you could slice the bacon.

"NO!" Your entire family screamed out, making you nearly drop the sharp blade on your foot. Dick jumped over the counter that separated you from the rest of them, and took the knife from you, "How about you let us make the breakfast. Hell, most of us have watched you do it since we were kids." Dick said and nudged you out of the way.

"Dick I-" You were cut off by Bruce pulling you further away from your oldest son and towards him, "Why don't we take the plane somewhere? FIji? It'll be just the two of us" Bruce asked hoping that you would readily agree. You did. It's been awhile since you had the chance to be alone with your husband.

After he sent you upstairs to pack, he turned to everyone else. "We can't let this happen again." He said instantly switching from happy husband to The Dark Knight. "Both times she's...died, we were in Gotham. Leaving the city has to be the solution. I want everyone on watch. We WILL make it through today." Bruce said and several heads started nodding.

What they didn't know was that you didn't go upstairs. You were leaning against the wall right outside of the kitchen. You knew that your family could act weird at times. They run around kicking crazy villains in the face at night, but this was different. They all looked at you as if you were the one they were trying to stop. As you listened to what Bruce said, your face formed into a frown. Were they talking about you? You didn't die...you were standing right there.

Before you could listen more, Alfred opened another door to exit into the hallway, so you quickly made your way upstairs to pack.

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You gave each member of your family a warm hug before boarding the private jet. Each of them hugged you back as if they would never see you again. It made what you heard even more suspicious. They were keeping something from you, and you were going to find out what it was.

After boarding the plane, you sat down across from your husband who gave you a warm smile. He loved you to pieces...he truly truly did, but that man never smiled. The only time he ever smiled was in front of the press. Normally you would bombard him with questions, but he could still exit the plane if he needed to.

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Now that you were up in the air, you took your seatbelt off to relax. "Bruce, what's going on?" You asked as you crossed your leg over the other. You were dressed in attire for an island and he was too. He wasn't lying about going to Fiji, "Was the fight with the League over me?" You asked your second question before he could answer the first.

"Nothing's going on Y/N. We just wanted to spend a little time with you on your birthday. The trip to Fiji was a last minute thing." Bruce was a good liar. He had to be for what he does with his freetime, but that didn't matter now; You knew something was wrong.

"That's interesting, I'm always able to use a knife to cut food. Today you all lost your mind as soon as I picked it up." A small smirk made its way onto your face. That smirk always appeared when you caught someone in a lie. You could see the confidence start to weaken on Bruce's face after you said that. He knew that they acted out too quickly. They should have kept their composure.

"Also, I happen to overhear your little conversation with our kids after I left the kitchen." Game over. You knew something was up, and Bruce knew he couldn't talk his way out of this one. There was a reason he was trying to get you to leave Gotham, and you had him in the perfect place to figure out what it was.

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"So who's trying to kill me?" You asked after a long pause between the two of you. Bruce tensed up, and you frowned. A death threat or attempt on your life wasn't anything new. You were Bruce Wayne's wife, and Batman's wife. Those who hated the Waynes lashed out at you, and the ones who knew of Batman's identity also lashed out at you.

"We don't know...we've...um..." Bruce's voice started to crack as he struggled to find the words to say. He didn't know how to explain this to you without freaking you out. Everyone loved to say that you were the perfect woman to be Batman's wife. He was known as the World's Greatest Detective, and that skill bled into you as well.

"Bruce?" You said softly after your husband completely broke down. His hands covered his face and he rested his elbows on his knees. This wasn't anything new. He would have moments like this a lot...when he thought about his parent's death. You knew there was magic, and things that couldn't be explained in this world.

"How many times have I died?" You asked, resting your shaky hand on his forearm. While there were magical villains, there were also villains that could manipulate time, "Bruce, please talk to me."

Bruce moved his hands away from his face, and he let you interlace his fingers with yours. Your wedding bands rubbing together in an oddly comforting way to both of you, "Twice...the first was at a party we threw to surprise you...the second...you were stabbed by someone...we still don't know who it is. Then we all wake up, the kids and I. We wake up and it's today all over again."

Any normal person would have quickly dismissed this as a lie, but after seeing the things you've seen? You weren't questioning it at all. "I'm sure we'll figure this out. We're out of Gotham, surely whoever is trying to kill me can't follow us here." You reassured him then climbed into his lap, "Let me distract your mind. Just lean back, and I'll take care of you."

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Bruce rested his head on yours as you slept in the seat next to his. His arm wrapped tightly around your shoulders, and yours were hugging his waist. He looked at the time on his watch, and saw that time had passed, you would have been dead by now. Bruce let out a breath of relief when he saw that.

It seems like he was right, leaving Gotham was the answer. Now he needs to keep you hidden until they find whoever is doing this to you.

Or so he thought...

The weather outside of the plane went from sunny to very cloudy. Those clouds then turned dark as thunder rumbled from all around them. Bruce felt an odd sense of dread fill him as he saw the lighting in the clouds. He didn't see any storms in the forecast before they took flight. That dread soon turned to horror when the lighting hit one of the plane's engines. The explosion startled you awake, and you sat up quickly.

Bruce made his way into the cockpit to find both of his pilots had vanished. There was no way they could have jumped. You both were facing the doorway, you would have seen them leave. He wasted no time in taking control. He could fly the batplane, this was simple work. He would signal the batplane then fly out of the storm. They would make it with one engine, and his plane was very fast.

"Bruce!" You screamed out as you saw another bolt hit the second engine. He saw it as well. He knew what this was. Whatever wanted to kill you had found you. Bruce got up from the pilot's seat, and quickly made his way to you, "There are parachutes, we're going to have to jump. The batplane should be here any second." He then made his way to the bin that held the parachutes.

As if fate was against him, there was only one. The plane was still gliding through the air, but they couldn't wait. Bruce picked up the parachute to try and get you to wear it, but you pushed back towards him, "Bruce no. If this is what you told me, then I'll die..and you'll wake up. In some twisted way, this is the only way we'll both live." You said and forced your husband into the parachute.

"And if it isn't, and this is just fate truly fucking us over...then you still need to survive. The world needs Batman more than it needs Y/N Wayne." That last sentence broke both of your hearts to hear and say. When Bruce refused to move, you were the one who opened the door to the plane.

You braced yourself against the wall, so you didn't go flying out of it, "If you wake up again, save me." You said then pushed Bruce out of the plane before he could do or say anything. You watched as he fell quickly through the air and watched the parachute unfurl.

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Bruce looked up towards the crashing plane, and saw you standing by the doorway. He watched you vanish from the door. You walked back into the plane, and sat down in the nearest seat. You felt tears rushing down your face as you felt the plane start turning down.

The plane would never touch the water below them. The largest bolt of lighting he's ever seen came from the clouds and hit the plane. As if he were watching a movie, the plane exploded. Bruce let out a gut wrenching scream as he watched the explosion fill the sky. Never had he wanted to wake up so badly in his life.

He then saw something slowly falling from the explosion. It was too small to be your body. The batplane flew through the clouds, and Bruce was safe in the pilot's seat. The falling object still fell, and landed gently on the nose of the plane and he felt sick.

Slowly the handle started to spin, and the little clock arms started turning. Despite bullet proof glass separating them, he heard that nursery rhyme that he would grow to hate. Bruce felt his eyes grow heavy and he collapsed back against the seat when sleep took over his body.

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Bruce's eyes opened, and he sat up in his bed. He didn't need to know what the date was or what time it was. He knew the loop had repeated. He knew you were in the bathroom, and he knew that his door was about to open and his family would flood the room with questions. They weren't there this time, and they didn't have to witness what he had to.

On que, the door opened, and everyone made their way into the room. Nothing was said between anyone as they all looked at Bruce, and he looked at them.

You finished up your morning routine, and stepped out of the bathroom. You let out a soft shriek when you saw everyone in your room, "You all scared me. You aren't supposed to be awake yet. I have to make my special birthday breakfast first!"

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[yumeka-sxf]

A chronological analysis on Twilight and Yor - Part 24

*This is part of an ongoing post series. If you missed the Introduction/Part 1, click here*

----------

When Twilight finds out that there's a bomb on the ship, he's at first torn about whether to intervene or not. This is an interesting situation for him because it's not a mission he was assigned to do, and intervening could run the risk of revealing himself to the SSS. But at the same time, not intervening and relying on the SSS being capable enough to take care of it, is risky, too.

If Twilight was the selfish, unfeeling spy he makes himself out to be, he would figure out a way to escape the ship with just himself, Yor, and Anya (of course he'd insist he's only taking them with him "for the mission"). He'd probably use one of the lifeboats like the eavesdropping assassin used, perhaps even contact WISE beforehand so they could pick him up. But we know that he's way too conscientious to let such a catastrophic event take place when he could have used his skills to prevent it. So, like his wife elsewhere on the ship, he makes the unselfish decision to help others even if it's a risk to himself. 

Later, Twilight has some final bouts of second-guessing regarding his decision when he picks up Anya at the daycare that night.

Rather than be proud of himself or even relieved that he was able to stop a potential crisis, he instead feels regret that he had to once again abandon his family…but his family is also part of his mission…so by averting the crisis, he saved them? But taking a vacation was also his mission, so does that mean his mission is to…not have a mission? Even I had trouble making sense of his thoughts here, but it's clear that the poor man still has a long way to go before he's not so unnaturally hung up about "missions." Rebecca Silverman on ANN neatly wraps up Twilight's cruise arc character development in an article here, to quote:

"…He wants to make sure the ship doesn't go down, but he also doesn't want to just abandon his child so he can go save it, and that's a distinction that hasn't been as clear in his mind before now. His little meltdown at the end is him fighting against the realization that this family isn't just a “mission” to him anymore; he's now a dad. This is beautifully shown when he catches Anya when she rolls off her bunk; not only is he attuned to her movements, but he cradles her for a moment instead of putting her down immediately. The smile on his face says that he cares, even if he's not comfortable with the idea."

Speaking of the aforementioned scene of Twilight catching Anya when she fell off the bunk bed, the anime adds this new footage of the early morning before the ship arrives at the resort island. Considering Twilight's doubts the night before, we see one of his rare, not-forced smiles, as he interacts with Anya.

Meanwhile, Yor is alone in her room treating her injuries. We know that she didn't sleep at all the night before since she was keeping watch over Olka's group the whole time. She then spent most of the following night in life or death struggles against various assassins, so she looks rightfully exhausted (and I'm sure the pain from her wounds disturbed what little time she was able to sleep).

While they wait for Yor at the island, Anya continues to show how much she has Twilight wrapped around her little finger – all she has to do is suggest that he's not acting like a "normal" dad would, and he immediately bursts into an awkward skip to try and prove to whoever's looking that, yes, he is just a dad having fun on vacation!

However, as soon as he realizes that Yor is there, his face reddens in embarrassment. He doesn't care if nearby strangers think he's acting like a silly, fun-loving dad, but it seems like he doesn't want Yor's view of him as a dignified, composed husband to be tarnished.

His look of concern when he notices that Yor's face is swollen is emphasized more in the anime…what could have been his first thought upon seeing that? However, when she tells him that despite City Hall's failed attempt to win over the couple, they were smiling in the end, he softens. Since the latter part of Yor's words here were not a lie, she was able to express them with genuine satisfaction, and Twilight picked up on her sincere feelings about the matter.

In fact, throughout their entire time on the island, Twilight gazes at Yor with more noticeable softness than he ever has before. From the aforementioned moment when she tells him that the couple were happy, to when she tells him how peaceful she feels watching Anya play with the sheep, and then at the very end of their excursion when he praises her for her hard work while carrying her and Anya back to the ship…Anya may have been right to call him out about missing Yor during the cruise. As I mentioned before, this is likely the longest time he's gone without seeing her since their "marriage," so this may be his subtle way of showing that he missed her.

At this point in the series, it's not hard to tell when Twilight's smile is his fake "Loid Forger" smile versus his real smile – Endo does a good job making the former look "forced," usually accompanied by his eyes being closed in a stiff squint to emphasize the phoniness, while in the latter case, his eyes are much more relaxed and his expression is more animated overall. Nightfall noticed this as well during her visit to the Forger house – how Twilight's real feelings seeped through the phony smile, particularly when his eyes relaxed.

Takuya Eguchi, Twilight's voice actor, also does a good job changing the pitch of his voice slightly when he's speaking as Loid Forger versus speaking his true feelings. If you compare how Twilight converses with Yor in this episode compared to, say, how he converses with Desmond during their encounter at Eden, the difference is very noticeable…even though, according to Twilight, both situations are "for the mission." In his mind, he shouldn't feel anything special for Yor compared to Desmond or anyone else he has to put on an act in front of. And yet, his voice and eyes convey otherwise.

It's been a while since the Forgers went on a family outing, so it was wonderful seeing them enjoy such a variety of activities together. What stood out to me the most as far as analyzing was Yor's difficulty riding the horse.

This may be more of a headcanon, but I feel like animals are uncomfortable around her because they can sense her insane physical strength even when she's not actively showing it. This could be why Kopi didn't put up any fight when she grabbed him, why all she had to do was glare at the German shepherd for him to run away, and why this horse doesn't want her riding him. It could also be why she's Bond's least favorite according to Endo in the fanbook. Also, Yor's fear of bugs makes sense since they're so tiny and quick, which makes them very difficult to take down from an assassinating perspective.

While Anya plays with the sheep at the petting zoo, Yor is finally able to fully relax for the first time in days, since she got the cruise assignment. She doesn't have to do anything in that moment besides watch Anya enjoying herself to the fullest in this lovely, peaceful little town. She tells Loid how peaceful she feels while also thinking to herself that she hopes this peace could last forever. Out of all the activities they did together, the reason this particular scene is so emphasized is because it perfectly portrays the reason Yor decided to keep being Thorn Princess back on the ship – so that children, whether her little brother Yuri, Anya, Gram, or whoever, can live freely and innocently in a peaceful world. And, when she expresses to Loid how peaceful she feels here, he says that he feels the same way.

As I just discussed, Twilight was not in "Loid Forger acting mode" here, so the reason he honestly agrees with her is because he's fighting for the same thing. Like I mentioned in Part 21, Twilight and Yor continue to do their ugly, thankless jobs in order to secure the peace of future generations.

When it's time for them to head back to the ship, Yor's exhaustion finally gets the best of her, forcing Twilight to carry both her and Anya in his arms on the way back. While he's a bit perturbed at first since some onlookers were snickering at him, it didn't take long for him to give into his feelings in that moment – namely, his genuine appreciation of Yor's sacrifice so that Anya could have a wonderful day with both parents. Though it's not a long scene, I think this is one of the most significant scenes for their relationship thus far (along with the post-Fiona date). Why is it so significant? Because there was no reason for Twilight to put on any Loid Forger acting in that moment, since he wasn't conversing with nor being scrutinized by anyone.

So why would he give that soft smile followed by such affectionate, comforting words as "お疲れ様/otsukaresama"? (this can be translated in many ways, but generally it's what you say to thank someone for their hard work). The answer is because it's something he truly felt...he knows all about being overworked and tired, yet Yor still made the effort to spend the day with them to make Anya happy. And, as her father (or "for the mission" in his language), he was grateful for that (now if only he knew the sacrifice she made on the larger scale!)

Many scenes in the cruise arc, as well as the resort island episode in particular, showcase that Twilight has a distinct relationship with both Yor and Anya, despite the fact that, in his mind, both relationships should be "fake." He's extremely casual with Anya, not just in his speech (more apparent in the Japanese version) and he doesn't feel any qualms about scolding her when necessary, being strict with her studies, or criticizing her weird little comments and actions that confuse him. The way he acts with Anya is more similar to how he acts with Franky than anyone else. But he's practically the opposite with Yor – despite her actions also confusing him at times, he never scolds, criticizes, or expresses disapproval of what she does. He also always speaks to her politely and, unlike most other people with whom he puts on his Loid Forger act, she's more often on the receiving end of his genuine smiles instead of his fake ones. It could be that because Anya is a child, he feels like he doesn't have to worry so much about acting in ways that would make her suspicious. Also because she's a child, she's less likely to take offense if he lets some of his negative emotions slip out. On the other hand, he knows from both the "post-Yuri's first visit" and "post-Fiona's first visit" instances that Yor has very sensitive self-esteem, so that could be why he's thoughtful about how he interacts with her, always speaking with courtesy and encouragement. He also knows the struggles she's had to go through in the past and how much she genuinely cares about Anya, which is another reason why she brings out his "softness" more often than anyone else.

In a way, Twilight's relationship with both Yor and Anya bring out a side of him that he may not realize he wants to strive for – with Anya, he can be relaxed and can drop the "nice guy" act in favor of being an exasperated but still caring father. And with Yor, he can become the polite, compassionate husband naturally, because he knows that many of her struggles and values are the same as his…he's realizing more and more about how much she sacrifices for others, and that can't help but resonate in him whenever he interacts with her. Perhaps one day he can become these personas and drop the "Loid Forger" and "Twilight" acts for good.

Continue to Part 25 ->

<- Return to Part 23

[kinzis-writing]

Better Than Revenge | M.R [1]

Y/N Nettleby thought that her relationship was going perfect. They were planning their future together and making arrangements for their lives to fall in line. So when Theodore ruined the image by breaking up with her, Y/N was heartbroken. There was only one thing on her mind, revenge.

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x Y/N Nettleby, Ex! Theodore Nott x Y/N Nettleby.

{This is the first time I have written something like this so I apologize if it is bad. My friend got me hooked on the idea of Riddle character and I wanted to try to write for him. Also, you may notice a pattern with the chapter names, it was my cousins suggestion that I use taylor swift lyrics so if you do not like her, I apologize. Also, I imagine the characters older, so the ages in the harry potter movies will NOT correspond to my writings.}

Warning(s): slight cussing, cheating, heartbreak.

i. "There is nothing I do better than Revenge"

Prologue: Introduction

*Not edited*

Y/N Nettleby looked at her work with a satisfied grin, it had taken her hours to set up for the special date with her boyfriend, Theodore. They had officially been dating for a year and the girl had decided that she was ready to take the next step with her boyfriend, and she was hoping tonight would be the night. She had her friend, Hermione, stay with their mutual friend Ginny tonight and the other roommates had already had plans for a party in Ravenclaw.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Hermione asked as she grabbed her pajamas to get ready and head to Ginny's room. "It's not my business but boys like him..." she trailed grabbing a few books as well.

"It's what I want, Mione." Y/N promised giving her best friend a small smile. Hermione gave the girl a small smile before heading out and heading to the youngest Weasley's room.

The girl sat on her bed and patiently waited for her boyfriend to come up to the dormitory, he happened to know Gryffindor's password and he knew his way to Y/N's room. They had agreed on having a quiet night in and he would come over around 7 o'clock. It had now hit seven and she was patiently waiting for his arrival.

A knock on the door sounded at 7:13, causing Y/n to fix herself quickly and rush to open the door. The girl had a bright smile on her face when opening the door, but the smile was quickly dropped once she seen the state of her boyfriend.

Theodore's hair was slightly disheveled, he seemed nervous and anxious, and he looked ready to run. "We need to talk." were the words that left his mouth when he locked eyes with his girlfriend.

"Well, happy anniversary to you too." Y/N spoke sarcastically as she moved out of the way to let him come into the dorm. It was not their exact anniversary date, but it was only a couple days past. School had kept Y/N busy to where they did not get to spend time on the actual day together. "What's going on?" She asked noticing how he was acting. It was unlike Theo to act like this unless he was out in the hallways. He was not a very affectionate person outside of the dorms, simply because he believed in keeping up his reputation. He is very intelligent, and quiet, but will always obey his parents and keep their legacy alive.

"It's over." He simply stated with a shrug, unsure of how else to go about this. He knew she would take it hard either way, but he had to get it out in the open so he could leave. "I'm breaking up with you."

Y/N felt as if she had gone into shock, her emotions fluctuated. She felt numb a bit at first, until she felt the tears start to well up in her eyes. "What? Why?"

Theo sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "you want the truth?" he asked softly. He knew that she would hate the truth, but she deserved it regardless. "I slept with someone else." He spoke truthfully. The pain in the girl's heart only stinging more. "I tried to wait; I really did. It's who I am, and I am sorry." without another word he had gotten up and left the room.

As soon as the door closed behind the Slytherin boy, Y/N sunk down to the floor and let the sadness overtake her. The tears freely came out and she wasn't trying to stop them. She had the dorm to herself tonight and she made the exception to wallow in self-pity for the night. She would pick herself back up tomorrow and act like nothing had ever happened.

🪄

The next day, it was harder for the girl to get out of bed. She had slept through breakfast and was almost late to her first class of the day. It was not like her to be late and to skip breakfast, but she was hoping to avoid any conversation until after classes.

Y/N honestly thought that she could contain her anger, that was until she seen her brother at the end of the hall talking with his girlfriend and Mattheo. The Nettleby siblings did not really have much to do with each other, they were close until they were sorted into separate houses. After that, Y/N became the disappointment of the Nettleby family as she was in Gryffindor when the family was a group of pureblood Slytherins.

Storming up to her brother and his two other guests before letting her mind think rationally, "You're a shit brother, you know that?" Y/N snapped when she got in front of her older twin brother. They were fraternal, so they did not look anything alike. "I know that we don't talk much, but you could have at least given me a warning about your little blood brother." she spat with a harsh glare.

"Excuse you?" Sean muttered not knowing what his sister was going on about.

"You could've warned me about Theodore cheating on me." She spoke clearly for her brother to understand. "I get that you pieces of shit are all "big and bad" but that is pretty bad for you to do your own sister like that." She finished before turning away and storming off to get to her next class on time.

'I'll get my revenge, Theo, you just wait." She mumbled to herself before walking into class.

Part 2

Happy Thanksgiving!! I'm in the US so some terms may not be correct and I apologize. I love harry potter and I wanted to try to write for Mattheo, this series will probably only have about 8 parts to it. No more than 10 for sure. I'll see how far my plot will go (I have a whole rough draft I have been changing). This is just the introduction and will involve more content in the coming chapters!

[take-everything-you-can]

Put Your Head On My Shoulder

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

A/N: This Fandom has given me the most inspiration I've had in years and this is a thank you to every single one of you. This idea spurred from one too many drinks and unhinged DMs and I'm so excited to share it with you guys. So here goes nothing lol. A special thanks to my lady loves @lesservillain , @ghost-proofbaby , @bettyfrommars , and @bimbobaggins69 for beta reading and letting me fill your inboxes with all my little thots for our little gremlin man !

P.S : BEFORE I GET INTO ANYTHING THIS STORY IS 18+ MINORS NEED TO GTFO PLEASE AND THANK YOU !!!!! Also please remember to like and reblog from your creators It keeps the fandom alive !!! ( honestly don't know what I would do without ya'll )

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Reader ( Pumpkin )

Summary: A 1950's daydream of malt shop kisses and doo wop singles far behind closed doors. Dreamboat Eddie Munson picks up more than just an extra route. A love that makes you weak in the knees... but how long can you go on loving a man that isn't the one your married to.

TW: Angst- mentions of an affair (adultery), verbal abuse mentions, mentions of weight ( mentions of food within the story throughout), disordered eating, feeling unloved, self deprecation slightly, staying with toxic partner Fluff- pet names, domestic bliss, mutual pining Smut- fingering, soft touches, overstimulation slightly very slight, unprotected PIV, cream pie, spanking,..... tbh i can't think of anymore but if you see any please let me know ... Thank you all so much. ( every chapter will get updated tw)

WC: 4.1K

Flour covers the countertop in your kitchen, and a rolling pin is set to the side while you knead the soft pastry ingredients together. Apples sit freshly peeled in a separate dish. Sliced and added to sugar and cinnamon. Picking up the rolling pin, you do your best to flatten the dough to a thin sheet and mold it to the glass dish before you. 

“Well, this dough is much better than the first,” you say aloud to yourself. Your husband once told you that speaking out loud to yourself was a sign of a weak mind, you never put much stock in that. But here you were doing exactly that as your days consist of waiting for your husband to return home from work. 

You splash a bit of vanilla into the apple mixture to complete your pie filling. Once it is all tucked neatly beneath the fluffy dough, you take a knife and leave four little holes within the surface and crimp the edges together, sealing the flavors within. A touch of sugar is added to the top along with an egg wash before placing the pie on a rack in the oven. A timer is set for twenty minutes, a reminder to lower the temperature and to add your special ingredient.

Soft music plays throughout the house, Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald keep you company on these long lonely days. Lonely but only for such a short time. Your husband works for the state doing something he thinks you're too dumb to understand so why talk about it? If anyone ever asks you simply say ‘Oh please you think a woman wants to know such things’. That usually earns you a laugh at cocktail parties and a warm smile from your man. If you could even call him that. 

Yes, he is your man in the sense that your last names are the same and you had shared the same bed. Where is the love though? It isn’t tangible and hasn’t been for quite some time now. Your day begins and ends with a few words apart from an I love you. You served him still, acted to the prying eyes, as a doting Wife. Four years and Everyone still thought you had a perfect life. 

That dream of white picket fences and shared milkshakes. That love of never-ending kisses and satisfying sex. Everyone around you wanted all that you had. Would they still want your life if they could see past those closed doors and shut curtains? 

Would they want to spend their mornings hiding the bags under their eyes from nights of restless sleep? Would they want to have a constant monologue of the flaws seen in the mirror? Ones that your oh-so-loving husband pointed out to you time and time again. Would they want to cook and clean knowing they would never receive a thank you? No, you knew they wouldn’t. All the small things that build and grow until it becomes a monotonous routine. Walking through days as if the next would be the exact same and then doing it all again and again, Until one day something changed. 

Two months prior A knock on the door, one that started to come once a week. The company of CC & Drums Dairy was paid to bring you a gallon of milk, A necessity your husband called it. A man with long dark locks that flowed over his shoulder and curls that dipped across his forehead under his cap. Deep Brown eyes that sparkled with flecks of amber as the sun hit him just right. Dressed in white overalls to comply with his company uniform and sleek black shoes that shine just as brightly as his smile. His name tag reads Eddie in a sweet embroidered cursive. Eddie, a name that would soon become something you would never forget. 

Your timer goes off as you check the pie, squeezing a lemon over the crust for that citrus tang. Slipping the dessert back into the oven, for another half hour or so, a knock sounds through the house, sending the butterflies in your stomach in a tizzy. Eddie had arrived.

A quick task of undoing the strings to your apron and a fast fix of hair in the mirror you had hung in the hall. A hand to your abdomen as you intake a breath and let it stagger out between your lips, hesitating to open the door. The second you see him you can feel the way the tops of your cheeks heat and plump with a smile. One that matches his.

 You take a second and wonder if he knows how handsome he is. The way the small lines beside his eyes crinkle with years of use. You wonder if he knows that the instant you see him, your heart stops beating. But most of all you wonder if you're the only one those soft eyes and long lashes catch in his gaze. 

“Afternoon darling, I must say this heat wave has got to be breaking records. Ought not keep these out here too long.” as he lifts the small crate of glass bottles holding the product out.

 You knew better than to take it from him, even if every bone in your body screamed too. The last time you tried you nearly flipped the whole crate, underestimating the weight. From that day on you always stood to the side as you let Eddie into your home to set the dairy in your kitchen. It was another thing you wondered about him. Did he do this for everyone else too?

“ Well let's not keep them then sir.” standing to the side he slides past you brushing a hand across the elbow you held to the door. His way of saying hello. Small touches here and there as he could never keep his hands to himself for too long in your presence.

“ Something smells awful delicious in her ma’am.”

“An Apple pie is in the oven, maybe you’ll stay and have a slice. For your troubles of course.” 

“Mhmm, my troubles.” Eddie sat the crate on the counter next to the ice box and turned his body towards you and enveloped you in his stronghold. An intoxicating embrace as he pulled you flush to his body. 

“ I missed you, you know that pretty girl?” soft tone, almost a whisper. A small smile he couldn't see but could feel made its way to your face. 

“I bet you say that to all the girls on your route.” he lets out a small chuckle.

“Only the breathtaking ones.” a falter to your features as your mind reeled with all the possibilities.

 Does he miss Mrs.Cunningham the way he misses you? Does he miss Ms.Buckley the same? That sick green monster finds its way under your skin as you think of all the girls he must have at his beck and call. But today that monster wasn’t going to ruin the few fleeting moments you could spend with him. You needed Eddie in the most carnal of ways.

“Do you want to know what I missed? “ Your fingers trail their way from the small of his back and up over his shoulder, landing on his neck just below his ear. Cupping his face you bring it down and catch his lips as they meet yours. 

“Oh yeah? you missed me too Pumpkin?” a second crash of your lips to his, makes him hum from the back of his throat. His nose nudges yours to the left so his teeth can catch your bottom lip, pulling back slightly to hear the small whine you emit.

“I always miss you, Eddie.”  His hands travel down over your figure as he starts to ruffle the hem of your dress up. Thankful for its length to hide how wet you had become just from him being in the home you share with your spouse. A topic you and Eddie tried to steer clear of, but the wrongness of the act just felt so right. 

Over a year your husband hadn’t touched you, barely talked to you and some days you were even sure he hadn't even looked in your direction. Eddie though, In the last two months, Eddie had made you feel seen. He made you feel heard, and most of all he made you feel desired.  

As his hand finds the thin cotton that covers your cunt he glides his digits over the wet patch that had grown by just the thought of him. A deep hum and a small huff of breath from Eddie against your neck as he kissed his way to your shoulder. 

“So wet for me and I've barely even touched you. Are you that starved for affection?” The words forming in that sweet small surrender to him were all but cut off as he slid a finger through your folds and teased your entrance. A gasp was the response he got, one he loved to hear in protest every time he had you. 

“C’mon honey tell me what you want.” how could you respond to him with words if you couldn't even think of them? The man before you had spent the last few months discovering just how to make you melt in his arms.

 He knew that the spot behind your knee was his best friend for when he had you on your back. He knew the way your hips stutter when you're close to your peak, and he knew that if your eyes found that they couldn't stay open that you were in utter bliss.

 His favorite thing he had learned throughout your time together though was that even when he knew you had your doubts, you still trusted him in every sense of the word. 

After only two months Eddie knew you better than you know yourself. Better than your husband had ever cared to know you.

“ Please, Eddie.” He smiled down at you 

“ Please What Honey?” 

“ Dip in Eddie, Fuck me please.”  He could feel the slackening of your legs as his assault on your clit had made you a bit sensitive, in his focus on making you feel as good as he possibly could, in what little time he had with you. He slid two of his thick fingers into your dripping heat as his thumb stayed in a rhythm that matched his wrist as he curled in and let the sounds of his efforts echo off the small kitchen walls. 

Moaning into Eddie's ear as his finger worked in and out of you making that heat inside of you grow higher and higher. Clutching the strap of his overalls, a small pull leaning back, as the pleasure he was giving you kept climbing. 

“ Come on now baby, let go.” A final intake of air, hold on to the breath that led you to your walls squeezing eddies fingers tight. That coil snapped as you let your body fall slack against him a loud moan from the farthest depths within you found its way out of your lungs. 

When your eyes land on Eddie after your come down all you can see is that smile. The dimple-creasing smile that kept haunting your dreams at night. 

“I need more.” You didn’t know how but his smile grew even wider and more sinister as his tone began to deepen. A kiss is pressed to your lips, not urgent, understanding. 

“ You need more? Well, it's a damn good thing that what you're asking for is in stock then Pumpkin.” He turned you around to face the small table that sat in your kitchen, knowing what he wanted from you. He wasn’t the only one taking notes from your time together. 

You braced yourself against the worn wood and clutched the sides of it as you heard the familiar clinks of metal as his rings fumbled with the buckle of his belt.  

The wait, though it is small, is brutal. Anticipation makes your stomach flip and cunt flutter. A shuffle out of his overalls gives Eddie a moment to just admire the way you listen so well. These small moments have him thanking every bad decision that got him here. To this small town, with this small job, on this small route. A route he picked up as a last resort. Yeah, he doesn't know who he's praying to but whoever is listening, he's singing grace. 

A grip in the slight pudge of your hips to keep himself steady, Eddie is gentle as he slips his cock through your folds gathering your slick over his length and breaching your desire. A deep moan and a few choice words fall from Eddie as he fills you and meets the small wavering gasp you let out, a breath you didn't know you had been holding.  A whine of impatience, his sign to move. 

A soft speed turns ravenous as his dick uses your walls to curve his hooks into you deeper and deeper. A sigh of his name and you can feel the stutter in his thrust. He slows his pace if only to keep himself from having to leave your presence all too soon.  

"Fuck darling, so good to me, taking me so well like this pussy was made for me."  You mewl from beneath him, dropping your forehead to the wood that is holding you up. You fear that if it had not been here your legs would have given up the second he started talking. "Isn't that right pumpkin? Made just for me? " A sharp thrust and you know he wants an answer in the way his grip turns bruising. A trip through your mind as you try and collect the words from thin air. 

"YES! God yes, I was made just for you." 

"Such a good girl for me baby. That's right, isn't it? You're all mine aren't you?"  Another squeeze to your hip and a smack that lands hard on your ass. Eddie's palm kneads the sting as you answer him. 

" All yours, all yours, no one else, just you baby." A grunt hum from the back of his throat as he grips your shoulder and leans so his body is flush with yours. His breath is on your neck as he leans to your ear. 

"Not even your husband, just you and me baby?" 

"Just you and me Ed's" Your eyes tunnel and you see white as your orgasm rushes through you, Eddie's own a thrust away as he moans deep against your skin. His body weight and yours against the kitchen table as you both find your way down from the clouds. 

Small kisses he leaves to your spine and the back of your neck. You turn your head and he places another small one to the upturned corner of your mouth. A bell chimes and you sit for a few seconds letting Eddie gather his own bearings. A small pat to the curve of your pussy as Eddie pulls the cotton back in place. A shock to your sensitivity.

"Keep that in there baby, that way you have a part of me while I'm gone." A heat to your cheeks as the thought of Eddie's cum dripping out of you while your husband sat across from you and read the paper over dinner. A sly smirk from the man you just let defile the small space, one you would let do ungodly things to you. 

You put on oven mitts as Eddie finds a few glasses in the cabinet. You slice into the flakey crust and slip through the filling as you place the large piece on a plate for you to share. Eddie pours milk as you find some silverware, he places the bottles in your fridge so they keep.

Turning with a smile, he is the definition of adoration. In your eyes he is everything. 

Why is it that when his time with you is coming to an end you almost wish it would end as soon as possible? Almost as if you would wish he would part with some harsh words to make you not want him in the most beautiful ways. You have to make yourself believe these things before he leaves because if you don’t, it would just shatter you. So you take a different route, you don’t shatter yourself, instead, you splinter and crack all the things that hold you until you see him again. The times where he glues those little shards back in place if only for you to break them off again and again. A scared thought and a small shake of your head trying to rid yourself of it. A married woman. What would he possibly want from you other than a good lay? 

He sees that doubt within your mind as if reading it. He takes your hand in his as he laces your fingers together. 

“ Penny for your thoughts Pumpkin?” You glance finally meeting his eyes as you clear your throat. 

“ Nothing important hun.” You slide a fork to his side of the table as your eyes dart to the clock.  He squeezes your hand once more, lowering his eyes in search of yours again. 

“It is important if it bothers you.” Your heart stops. The breath you were going to take gets caught in your throat and you turn on that winning smile you had trained yourself to hold in uncomfortable circumstances. One you wish he couldn't see through.

“ It’s nothing Eds, really.” 

“Do you promise?” you take a hand and cup his cheek.

 How do you tell him that he is your first thought in the morning and the last thought before falling asleep? How instead of counting sheep you try and count the freckles on his face by sheer memory?  How could you tell him you wish you were his one and only? That you have never felt about another human soul the way you feel about his. Instead, you stuff it down, apple pie soon to follow. 

“I Promise.”  

You know he doesn’t believe you but he would rather set out to sea and die of starvation as the sharks feed from him than to make the last moments he has with you tainted with fights and tears. God when you cry it absolutely destroys him. 

The first time you had ever let him take you in his arms you had just gotten off the phone with your husband. He had heard hushed words while he waited for you to grab the weekly tip your husband left for him. Your husband had informed you that he would not be coming home, as the fight from the night before had lingered into the morning and would now follow you well into the night. The first time you had opened the door Eddie studied the angelic features of your face, and they had plagued his dreams for such a long time at this point.

When you rounded the corner with a smudge of mascara beneath your eyes, he instantly without thinking took you in, pushing your face to his chest as his hand rested on the back of your head. Slight comfort made the tears begin again as he wiped the remainder of the smudge and irritation from your face. No man had ever done something as small as comforting you before.  In the two months since he had started this route, he knew he had instantly fallen head over heels in love with you.

You had taken two bites from the plate that sat in front of you and Eddie had finished the slice. He even went as far as to slide a finger in the crumbs on the plate and lick them off in an attempt to show you how much he had enjoyed it. His time with you. 

A gathering of glasses you brought to the sink as he brought the other dishes and sat them in the deep well while wrapping his arms around your waist and you stood eyes closed relishing in the last little bit of affection he could offer to you. 

A kiss to your shoulder as you turn your head resting it on his.

“I’ll be by in a week Pumpkin.” A nod to the fact you already knew. “ Seven days.” Another nod, not risking the crumble in your voice. “ Not long at all.”  Another small kiss to your cheek as you turned into his chest and rested your forehead on his. 

“Seven days?” 

“ Seven days Pumpkin. Do you think you can wait for me? Just seven days? “

“I think I could wait a lifetime for you Eddie.” 

“I’ll see you in a week, Mrs.Carver.”

“ A week Mr.Munson.” 

A kiss to your lips and a parting gift of his very own pie before he snuck out through the back door, so as to not raise suspicion. A slow walk from the kitchen to the door and to turn a lock, on your mind. On your hope. You could do this. You could wait seven days.

Your husband comes through the door late as he had been doing for the last year or so. You had expected it from him at this point. You had started to make his dinner later and later knowing that if you had made it too early he would tell you all the ways he couldn't eat it. If it had gone too cold he would refuse and the hard work would go directly into the trash. 

He walked in as you took his dinner off the stove and placed it on a dish for him.

“Right on time doll.”

“ I don’t know how on time it is, It’s Nearly eight in the evening, Jason!”     

“ I’m not doing this with you tonight.”  

He always did this. He would come home and you would ask him where he had been, and he’d always end the conversation before it could even begin. You sat his plate in front of him as you sat across the table from him. Times where you could really take him in and see that the feelings you had once long ago were snuffed out like a flame to a candle.

“ Are you not eating dear?” 

“ I ate a bit earlier in the day.”

“Thanks for waiting .”  He rolled his eyes and you returned the gesture. 

“ I wouldn’t have had to wait if you had just picked up the phone and told me when you were going to be on your way home. I’m not waiting until we hit a new day to eat Jason I’m not going hungry just so you-”

“ Wouldn’t harm you any though would it.” 

You left the table. Your weight had started to become a key focus as he knew it bothered you more than anything else. You had gained some weight and your mother and friends had commented on it from time to time. For your husband to tho, it made you furious. You ate when you were unhappy, it was something you had done since you were a child. The only person who thought you could stand to eat a little more had been Eddie. 

It happened slowly, you would make him food now and then, and the majority of the time He would offer you a bit. It started with a bite and progressed into cutting his sandwiches in half just so you could have something to eat. Unlike your husband, Eddie had a suspicion that you weren’t eating enough. Like you weren’t giving your body what it needed to survive so he would constantly ask for you to eat with him. At least then he would know you had something of substance within your day.  

You had gone to your bedroom and gotten out of your daily’s slowly separating them into their hampers waiting to hear the stomping footsteps of Jason as he made his way to the spare bedroom. He had taken residency there about a month before Eddie came into your life and you were thankful for the times that Eddie left you yearning for more. To call out another man's name while with your significant other no matter how insignificant they were would still bring you shame like no other.

Slipping into your nightgown as Jason shuts the door to his room you wait a few minutes to take the walk back down the stairs to stand in front of the sink. Looking up at the sky through the window above the stars seem to shine brightly. You attempt to find the little dipper and look for its companion not far from where it lays, the version of a larger size. Constellations begin to blur as you let the silent tears fall. Hoping that somewhere out there in this little old town, Eddie too is looking up at the moon and wishing you were by his side as you wished upon all the stars in the sky. What a long time seven days would be.

[aebi12]

"Resentment" - Chapter 20 [AemondxRhaena]

Summary

He is the cause of her sufferings. He took her dragon, her betrothed, and her father. Now, he will also take away her future by having to marry him.

With so much history and bad blood between Rhaena and Aemond, their forced union has everything to fail, except that the proximity will make them discover that perhaps they have more in common than it seems.

AU - the Greens win the war.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18 - Chapter 19

Masterlist of my other works.

Tags: enemies to lovers, slow burn, romance, angst, drama, eventual smut, hurt/comfort

Please remember that english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for the mistakes...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Fine, if you insist on acting like a whore, then I’ll treat you like one.”

The words Aemond just told her echo in her mind as she watches her betrothed step away from the door he just closed and walk purposefully towards the bed.

Towards her.

The mattress dips as the prince climbs onto it, advancing on his knees towards his cousin, like a predator stalking his prey.

This is what you wanted, isn't it? She wonders internally, her eyes unable to tear themselves away from Aemond, who is soon on top of her, though not crushing her with his weight.

Rhaena opens her mouth to say something. What? She does not know. And besides, she cannot manage to verbalize anything, not when Aemond's hand suddenly lifts the skirt of her dress and begins to slowly move up her leg, his knuckles reaching her knee and back down again.

His touch is electrifying, the feel of his warm hand on her skin sending shivers down her spine, and as the prince basically lies on top of her, the feel of his body weight, his heat, and his breath almost on her lips, creates a sensation of pleasure that travels throughout her core, focusing especially somewhere between her legs.

You should not be enjoying this, the rational side of her mind thinks. Not when he's said such horrible things, accusing her of acting like a whore and threatening to murder…

The thoughts leave her head as Aemond buries his face between her neck and shoulders, nuzzling her exposed skin as if he were breathing in her scent. Rhaena's hands grip the sheets as she feels her cousin's lips place short kisses along the edge of her cleavage, and she closes her eyes, pressing her lips together to keep herself from being heard. What is this pleasure she is feeling? How could it all be so…? An involuntary moan escapes her lips as the prince's lips suckle the swell of her breasts.

And that's when Aemond pulls away from her.

It takes a few seconds for Rhaena to process the loss of his warmth and closeness, her eyes fluttering open to see the prince now standing, though still by the bed, watching her in anger and… pain? Rhaena gulps, suddenly ashamed for even suggesting to her cousin the foolish idea of ​​testing her chastity for himself.

“Did you make those sounds for him too? Did you enjoy his hands touching you too?” he asks, contempt evident in his voice.

“I’ve told you, he did not touch me.”

“How foolish do you think I am to believe that?” Aemond’s voice rises again, his good eye glaring at her and his hands, which just a few minutes ago were caressing her, are now clenched into fists, clearly trying to contain his temper, “You were together all night.”

Rhaena walks to the edge of the bed and stands up before answering, “It was not like that, I only agreed to see him because…” she trails off. She can't reveal to him the suspicions that motivated her to meet Corwyn, not without involving her sister and basically accusing her of treason, “I left the Vale so suddenly that we did not get a chance to talk, and he was my friend, just my friend, we wanted…”

“To talk,” Aemond finishes for her, letting out a mocking chuckle, “And you had to do that alone and in the middle of the night?”

We were not alone, she wants to scream, but she is not about to drag Marianne into this.

“We just talked, Corwyn is an honorable man,” she repeats, even though she knows it is pointless

“How honorable could he have been to dare suggest a clandestine rendezvous with a lady who was meant to be a princess of the realm? With a lady who was to be the mother of the future king.”

“He is…” Rhaena cuts off her words abruptly, “Why are you referring to me in the past? You cannot…” confusion clouds her brain, leaving her for a moment at a loss for what to say, “You cannot break the betrothal.”

“Of course I can,” he replies with malice in his eyes

“No, no, the kingdom would not accept it.”

“Everyone will understand if I repeat what I just heard,” his voice sounds hard and pleased at the same time, clearly reveling in Rhaena’s desperation, “Do you think anyone will plead for you knowing you meet with men in the middle of the night? Your reputation will be destroyed.”

“Nothing happened,” she shakes her head, “My virtue remains intact, I am a maiden.”

“Even if that were true, it would not matter. Your name would be sullied by your brazen actions, you would be unfit to be the mother of the royal heir.”

No. No. No. That could not be true, could it? The kingdom was not going to turn against her, they could not… Rhaena gulps, her eyes beginning to fill with tears at the prospect Aemond is laying out for her. They could not call off the betrothal. They could not take this away from her as well. They could not just take her away from Aemond. She could not lose him. She didn’t want to lose her future with him. She was going to be his wife. Her heart races and a sick feeling settles in her throat as panic takes hold. Panic at being called vulgar, and panic at the realization that what she fears most is losing her cousin.

Breathe, Rhaena, breathe. She forces herself to repeat and inhale slowly until she calms down again.

It is not going to happen. She is not going to lose Aemond. Especially since, as her mind reminds her once the panic has passed, they can't afford to lose her.

“You need me,” she retorts, suddenly emboldened by her reasoning, “You and your family cannot simply cast me aside no matter how much you wish to. I am the daughter of Daemon Targaryen, granddaughter of King Jaehaerys, and the only chance all of you have of reuniting this country and having the support of the noble houses that stood by my side of the family during the war is if you take me as your wife. Peace will only be achieved when our sides unite, you and I, producing a legitimate heir for both blacks and greens.”

“That is not true,” Aemond retorts, his face pale and his nostrils flaring from what he surely considers an audacity on her part.

“Oh, but it is,” Rhaena takes a step towards him, anger welling up within her as well, “You need me. And whether you like it or not, we are in this together and you will not get rid of me so easily. You say the realm would cast me aside, do you really believe that? They love me, while they barely tolerate you out of necessity”

Rhaena knows she must measure her words. She must not play with her cousin, not when he clearly feels hurt and betrayed, but her anger is greater and clouds her better judgment.

Aemond clenches his hands so tightly that he feels his nails digging into his palms, surely leaving marks. His cousin’s insolence seems to know no bounds. And the worst? Although her words leave him with a bittersweet feeling, he knows they are true.

“It seems I will have to bear with you then,” he finally answers, almost spitting out his words in anger, “One more sacrifice for the realm, sharing a bed with a used good.”

Rhaena acts instinctively upon hearing the insult, her hand rising and crossing his face with a slap. The sound brings her satisfaction, as does the livid expression of clear surprise on Aemond’s face.

“I will not tolerate your offenses,” she warns. And, although she fears for a moment the prince's reaction, she continues speaking, unable to contain herself, “You, of all people, what right do you have to insult me ​​when you dishonored yourself by keeping a mistress at Harrenhal throughout the entire war?”

“Do not talk about that again,” Aemond hisses.

“No? Then let’s talk about the whore you visit regularly at a brothel on the Street of Silk.”

Clearly her cousin isn’t expecting this turn in the conversation, because he takes a couple of steps back, though he continues to stare at her, “How do you know about that?”

“People talk, Aemond. Your affairs are not as secret as you imagine. Don’t I have the right to be angry that my future husband prefers the company of whores over his future wife? Huh?” Rhaena walks back until they are very close once more. She raises her face to his, her index finger digging into his chest, pointing at him, “Is that who you spent your hours with while ignoring me? Do you not dishonor me by not having regards for my…?”

He doesn't let her finish and grabs her by the arm, "What about you? You speak so easily of dishonor when it was you who ran into your friend's arms," ​​he spits the word out mockingly, "You say you two only talk, what did you have to say to him? What conversation was that?" he doesn't let her answer, "Were you going to tell him how much you would have preferred to marry him? That you had hopes of being his wife? That you dreamed and hoped for that while you lived in the Vale?"

He looks at her, expectantly, and Rhaena doesn't deny his gaze. She wants to be able to deny it, she wants to be able to assure him that it wasn't the case, but she would be lying. She had, at some point, considered marrying her old friend. She had, albeit briefly, mourned the truncated future they would never share. She knows this is all reflected in her gaze and she knows that Aemond interprets her silence as confirmation of his suspicions. “I am going to kill him,” he replies, his face twisted in rage.

Aemond lets go of her arm and turns his back, walking to the door.

“If you do, if you hurt him in any way, you will lose me,” she dares to say, desperate.

The prince doesn't even turn to face her before replying, "You give yourself too much credit if you think that is going to change my mind."

***

Fool, fool, you are a fool.

Her heart aches as she walks through the halls until she is back in her room.

Marianne had warned her and she knew it too. It had been stupid to meet Corwyn. And it had been even stupider to stop and talk to him in the halls when she knew he wanted something from her that she could never give him.

You should have run in the opposite direction, you should have done something. Anything. And you wouldn't be in this mess.

Rhaena slams the door to her room hard, causing the maid, who is currently stoking the fire, to jump.

“My lady, I…”

“Call Lady Westerling immediately,” she orders.

The young woman, still frightened, just nods before taking the bucket at her side and leaving her room.

She had staked everything on maintaining a friendly relationship with Aemond, on getting her cousin to respect her and count on her, on making their future marriage not be a complete torture. She had put up with his arrogance, his slights and initial coldness until she had managed to get him, somehow, to feel interested in her.

And now you lost him.

She destroyed her only chance when she trampled on Aemond’s ego and pride. Because she knows that is what hurts the prince the most, the feeling that someone who belongs to him chose someone else.

You did nothing wrong. You did not…

It does not matter. She was a noble lady and there were expectations of her. Standards for her behavior. Decency and good manners. Was it unfair? Yes, but that was the world they lived in. No one would look kindly on a meeting between a man and a woman in the middle of the night.

“Rhaena? Did something happen? The maid seemed scared when she insisted that you wanted to see me.”

Her lady finds her pacing back and forth near the bed, clearly desperate.

“He found out.”

Marianne doesn’t need to ask what she means, “How… what did the prince say? What did he do?”

Rhaena proceeds to tell her about her encounter with Corwyn in the hallway and how Aemond had interrupted them. The threats, the insults. Her proposal and the conversation that followed after they had locked themselves in one of the rooms.

“He is going to kill him,” she ends by saying, her voice filled with fear and guilt, “And it will all be my fault.”

“No, you cannot blame you for this,” her friend takes her hand and leads her to the bed, both of them sitting on the edge, “Ser Corwyn should not have sent you the letter, he was negligent and…”

“That does not justify Aemond killing him. Nothing happened, you know that.”

“I know, but the prince is clearly hurt. He cares about you and…”

“Oh please, Marianne!” Rhaena lets out a humorless giggle, “All he cares about is his reputation. Plus, he is angry because he forbade me from getting close to Corwyn and I didn’t listen to him. There is nothing but pride involved.”

“I do not agree with you.”

“Well he basically told me so before he left me alone in the room.”

There is a minute of silence until she speaks again.

“What am I going to do?” she asks, “How can I fix this?”

“I suppose… could you speak to Queen Alicent?” she suggests, “If anyone can convince the prince not to participate in the tournament, it is his mother.”

“No, I cannot go to the queen and tell her that Aemond decided to fight tomorrow. She would ask too many questions, she would like to know what motivated him to do so, and I would have to tell her the truth. I could not bear it.”

And besides, she does not trust the virtuous queen dowager to take more drastic action regarding the betrothal It was better not to risk it.

“You are right, though…” Marianne bites her lip, “Technically you were not alone when you went to the godswood. I was with you, you can tell Queen Alicent that we both spoke with Ser Corwyn.”

“No, I avoided mentioning your name to Aemond because I do not want you in the middle of this mess.”

“But I went with you precisely to help you if something like this happened.”

“No, Marianne, no, your presence there will stay between the two of us,” her voice is almost an order, “I do not want your name associated with any suspicion, you do not deserve to have doubts cast against you or to be said to have been foolish.”

“But…”

“Nothing,” she repeats and adds, “Perhaps Daeron can help me.”

Marianne sighs, “He was injured during the jousts and drank milk of the poppy. I wanted to visit him, but the grand maester says he needs to rest and probably won’t wake until tomorrow.”

Rhaena holds back a moan and covers her face with her hands. Tears sting her eyes, but she refuses to cry.

There has to be some other way.

But really, who could help her? Her friends and connections in the Red Keep are not the same as the prince's. There are only a couple of people who might be able to change his mind, and none of them are a viable option at the moment.

Marianne keeps her silently company for a while until she excuses herself, saying she wants to be alone.

“What about tonight's banquet?”

“I cannot bring myself to go to any banquet.”

“What if the prince demands your presence?”

“Then let him come and force me to go,” she replies, “Make something up for me, please?”

“Of course.”

Her lady hugs her tightly before abandoning her to her thoughts and recriminations.

A maid enters a while later with food, but Rhaena doesn't touch it, too nervous to eat.

The hours pass and, although she tries to sleep, it is impossible. Her mind keeps creating scenarios where a bloodied Corwyn staggers in the arena while Aemond delivers the final blow with a Valyrian steel sword.

In the end, exhausted, she simply sits in front of the fire, watching the crackling of the flames as she waits for morning to come, her dragon curled up at her feet.

When the sun rises in the sky, she washes and tidies herself as best she can before stepping outside and walking in the direction of the Tower of the Hand. She does not go up, however, for fear that the prince will not want to receive her and avoid meeting her. So, she remains standing at the only entrance and the one that knows Aemond will have to go down at some point.

The soldiers guarding the Tower watch her curiously, but do not comment, nor do they offer to let Aemond know of her presence as the minutes stretch into hours.

He has to appear at some point, she thinks, fiddling with her rings.

And so, he does.

Aemond Targaryen seems mildly surprised to see her waiting for him, his neutral expression turning to one of indifference as he ignores her, walking confidently in the direction of the fortress courtyard.

Rhaena follows, hurrying to his side and trying to keep up with his long strides.

“Aemond, please listen to me,” she says quietly.

“I know what you are going to ask, and I have no intention of giving up on letting Corbray know his place.”

“I will do whatever you want, but please do not hurt him. Do not kill him.”

“Is that all you care about? His well-being?”

Rhaena thinks she can detect pain in his voice despite how harsh his words sound.

“It is not just for him,” she says quickly, “It is for you too. You cannot just kill a noble man.”

“It is a tournament, Rhaena, every knight knows what they are up against when they choose to participate.”

“But it will not look good on you,” she insists, “It is a tournament in your honor, there is no point in participating, it does not dignify you. The people still whisper about your actions during the war, do you want them to think of you that way again?”

“So what if they do? As you said, they will have to continue to tolerate me,” he retorts, throwing her words back in her face.

Aemond walks faster and heads towards one of the carriages. When Rhaena finally reaches him, he speaks again, “You can ride with me if you wish, but keep quiet. I do not feel like listening to you.”

Rhaena is tempted to answer and find another ride, but she eventually climbs in after him and sits on the opposite side. They make the journey in silence, the girl not daring to speak, and when they reach the arena, Aemond does not go up with her to the platform, but instead heads to the participants' tents.

Rhaena watches him until he enters one of them, and then makes her way to the royal box, slowly climbing the stairs, grateful to be the first one there.

The place is slowly filling up and, although she greets the dowager queen accordingly, as well as the members of the council, her mind is elsewhere.

“The Prince Daeron?” she asks Alicent

“Still recovering,” she replies, “I insisted for him not join us today.”

There goes your only chance to stop Aemond.

Rhaena nods.

“Lady Westerling said you had a headache yesterday, are you better this morning?”

“Quite better,” she replies in a small voice, “I needed to rest as well. All the hustle and bustle of the wedding left me a little…”

Rhaena leaves the thought hanging in the air and the queen seems to understand, nodding as well, “Where is Aemond?”

“I do not know,” she lies.

Alicent frowns, “It is not like him to be late.”

The girl does not know what to say and thankfully Alicent does not press her further.

Minutes pass and when the trumpet sounds, the arena falls silent to watch the entrants.

Rhaena spots him immediately. His armor, as ornate as his brother Daeron’s, stands out from the others. His hair is tied back in a braid and his expression is a mask of coldness as he takes a step ahead of the other men.

“Oh god,” Alicent speaks up from beside her, “What is he doing there?”

“It seems Prince Aemond intends to fight today,” Lord Lannister replies

“Did you know about this?” Alicent asks the man, who shakes his head. Her gaze turns to Rhaena, “Did he mention anything to you?”

“Nothing at all,” she lies again.

And her pale face, apprehensive expression, and teary eyes must be convincing enough because Alicent seems to believe her.

The Dowager Queen whispers something else that she can’t quite make out.

“There is nothing we can do now,” Lannister reasons, “Besides, I have confidence in the prince’s abilities. Nothing will happen to him.”

Lord Tyland’s words make her heart race. She has not considered, until this moment, that some other participant might hurt Aemond. What if, because of her lack of good sense, she ended up causing her cousin’s death?

The action begins almost immediately. The knights are split up and Aemond is paired with some northerner whose name escapes her.

When the fight begins, Aemond draws his Valyrian steel sword and circles around his enemy, examining him. The northerner eventually tires of his actions as he charges at him, but Aemond easily evades him. The fight continues for a couple of minutes until the prince has the opportunity to wound him, which he does with a quick swing of his sword, plunging it into his opponent's side. The crowd chants the prince's name and servants drag the northerner away, who as Rhaena finds, is still alive.

The fights follow one after another. Corwyn defeats a man from the Stormlands, and Aemond defeats another from the Reach. Swords clang, bodies fall, the sand fills with blood.

And then comes the moment she has been dreading.

By chance of fate or - surely - because Aemond has made sure of it, he and Corwyn are paired together.

They both stand in the middle of the arena, their armor showing some dents. Rhaena, unable to contain herself, covers her mouth with her hands to prevent herself from letting out a little scream, when Corwyn runs towards the prince sword in hand. Corwyn is not a bad warrior and his skill is palpable as the minutes pass, both of them hitting their swords and trying to knock the other down.

His old friend's sword passes dangerously close to his cousin's neck and Alicent gasps. Aemond quickly steps back and switches the sword from one hand to the other, holding it in his left and still wielding it with skill. This switch, Corwyn clearly doesn't expect, because the edge of the blade cuts into his side.

Corwyn staggers back and Aemond seems on the verge of winning. The prince advances on his opponent, standing in front of him and wounding his hand, causing him to drop his sword. The crowd shouts Aemond's name as Corwyn is left weaponless. Only, suddenly, Corwyn charges at the prince, using his body to push him and throw him to the ground.

The attack is so unexpected that it succeeds. Corwyn uses his good hand to throw Aemond's sword to the other side and begins to beat him with his fists. Beside him, Alicent seems on the verge of fainting. Rhaena wants to close her eyes, wants to look away, wants to do something, but she can do nothing but ask the gods to protect her cousin.

Please, please, don't let him die.

And perhaps they take pity on Rhaena, because when everything seems lost Aemond uses his strength to throw Corwyn off of him and roll him over, this time having the advantage and closing his hands around his neck, dominating him and clearly suffocating him.

The common people go wild with excitement. The nobles chant their prince's name.

And she... she knows this is it.

It is now that Aemond is going to kill Corwyn.

A tear rolls down her cheek and, unable to contain herself, she stands up and goes to the edge of the platform. The movement seems to catch the attention of her cousin, who looks away from Corbray to look up at her. Their eyes meet for a second and Rhaena does not know what she sees in them, only that Aemond has a moment of hesitation before his hands leave his opponent's neck, giving him one last blow to the jaw that manages to knock Corwyn unconscious before he stands up and leaves the combat arena.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I tried to write the fight scenes as best as I could, but I'm clearly no expert. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed them.

Thanks for reading!

@user05152535456 @pugetprincess @draftswriting @hopefulnovelwritingland @maymunahar @niocel @goldenjoyboyy @gracelessbeach @jenmakeusin10 @dagma18 @atargcvnt @iidontgiveafuckuniverse @ammo23 @qyburnsghost @ithoughtulikedme @avidreader73

Let me know if you want to be tagged

[half-oz-eddie]

Journaling Billy is so personal for me.

Billy with a gratitude journal that he writes in every time something good happens, or someone does something nice for him.

He got the journal from a nurse at the hospital post-starcourt, who thought it would be a nice way for him to pass the time, while also lifting his spirits and helping him realize how much love and kindness is around him, even if he doubts it.

It's just a blue, soft cover bound book, but he humors the nurse because she's got warm, pretty eyes and reminds him of his mom.

He uses it often, even after leaving the hospital.

Steve catches him writing in his journal one day, and Billy tells him it's fine if he reads the gratitude journal but not his diary.

Steve, of course, is dying to see what's in the journal, what Billy considers nice, and what good things have been happening to the love of his life.

Aug 1, 1985 Everyone came to see me. Even those kids Harrington always babysits. That's nice, right?

Aug 5 Harrington brought me some food from some burger joint. It was good. I guess he's nice even though I was kind of a dick to him.

Aug 21 Harrington showed up to drive me home. I don't know why he's being so nice to me. It pisses me off because I think he just feels sorry for me. I'm probably using this journal the wrong way but I don't care. I can't talk to anybody about this. I'm not feeling that grateful for shit today.

Aug 25 Max helped me with my pain medication. I thought she hated me. She acts like everything's fine. I have to admit I’m grateful what happened only stays in my nightmares and I wake up to a different reality.

Aug 29 Harrington called to check on me. Offered to come over and play cards. He doesn't have to keep pretending. I like the company, though.

Sept 10th Max tried to stay home from school to look after me. I'm doing a lot better so I didn't need the help. I still don't understand why everyone's being so nice after what I did. Sept 14th Felt strong enough to go out for some air on my own. Saw Sinclair and that other kid. Think his name's Dustin. They were on their bikes. They waved and asked how I was doing. Told them I was fine and they rode off. Do I deserve their concern? Sept 15th Sinclair came back while I was on the porch. Asked for Max. I told him he couldn't be here because of Neil. We waited for Max a few houses down and talked about basketball. He's trying out for the team so I gave him some advice. It was a nice conversation. Didn't feel forced at all.

Sept 20th I told Lucas I was sorry for what happened that night. He said he'd forgotten all about it. I know the little shit was lying, but I guess he forgives me. That was cool of him.

Sept 29th Lucas made the team and thanked me for the advice. I don't feel like I did anything.

Oct 4th I'm feeling better than ever. Driving around on my own again. Nobody seems to blame me for what I did, and everyone's nice everywhere I go.

Oct 11th Went to see El. She's always kind to me. She's like the little sister I never had. She made me some waffles.

Oct 15th Saw Harrington again. It was warm so we went swimming in his pool. I really missed the water.

Oct 29th Haven't been writing much down. It feels like I'm saying the same things over and over. Everyone's always nice to me. Dad's not bothering me anymore. I feel like I have a lot of support around me. For once I feel safe. Oct 31st Went to a halloween party with Harrington. First time having a beer in months. Got a little too drunk and we kissed. He didn't seem to hate it. I didn't either.

Nov 9th Finally talked to Steve again after the kiss. He asked if I wanted to go steady. I said no at first, then changed my mind. I'm glad I did.

Steve smiled as he read every entry. Every few days, Billy's entries were longer and longer. He talked about things that made him smile, people he met, and how much he appreciated the simplest things. It was an amazing transformation. He continued to read the entries, his eyes widening when he read the most recent one. January 12th 1986 I'm falling in love with Steve. I was hoping he’d say it first but he hasn’t said anything. Maybe I’m too hopeful. He treats me like he loves me too, I think. But I’m not sure. Steve quickly closed the book, feeling like he'd violated Billy's privacy by reading something he hadn't known before. "Why so quiet, Steve? You read yesterday's entry, huh?" "I—yeah. I thought maybe you wrote it in the wrong journal."

"I didn't. I was gonna tell you, I just...I dunno. I didn't want you to think I was trying to move too fast."

Steve laughed. "You have no idea how relieved I am."

Billy narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"Billy, I've been in love with you for weeks."

Billy snorted. "You're such a sap, pretty boy."

They shared a kiss and Billy wrote in his journal about how grateful he was, to love and be loved.

January 16th On August 21st last year, I was wrong. I have everything to be grateful for.

▪️▫️▪️

A little something to show my gratitude for reaching 400 followers. I appreciate all of you ❤️

Also tagging some friends I’ve met here that really belong in my gratitude journal for all the kindness they’ve shown lately and their posts just make me smile.

@shieldofiron @monsterpegger001 @dragonflylady77 @harringroveera @bigdumbbambieyes @brightside-of-the-upsidedown @thatgirlwithasquid

[sitp-recs]

liv, do you have any idiots to lovers recs? I’m thinking things in the vein of “keep it down” by warmfoothills; where draco and Harry like each other so much but are just so dumb about it! it also works if only one of them is an idiot (usually Harry, my oblivious king!!) huge bonus if they have a big, combined friend group that everyone in it either 1.knows they’re in love with eachother bc duh or 2.already thinks they are dating/fucking

It took me ages to post this but if you’re still around I got you, anon 🫡 That’s also a favorite trope of mine, I adore that warmfoothills fic. Here are some recs for you, I’ve had so much fun putting this list together. I also did a reclist for roommates AU a while ago. Hope you enjoy!

Still Life (2019, M, 3k)

Take A Stab At It by @sorrybutblog (E, 3k)

It’s a bit pathetic, Harry knows, to have a hard-on for the guy who bullied you in school. Kind of cliché to look back on years of obsession and hatred and think, Oh.

Closer by @pennygalleon (M, 5k)

All who know them are convinced that Harry and Draco are a couple. But that's just ridiculous.

Tread That Fine Line by disapparater (E, 5k)

Harry could cope with being in love with Draco, it was the needing to get fucked by him that was driving Harry insane.

Mise en Place by @corvuscrowned (T, 5.5k)

Draco needs to learn how to cook, and luckily, Harry knows his way around a kitchen. The fact that Draco is using his newfound cooking skills to impress another man... Well, Harry just tries not to think about that too much.

Two of Us by @sorrybutblog (E, 5.5k)

The gang goes to a gay bar. Or: five times Harry accidentally pretended to be Draco’s boyfriend and one time Draco told him to put out or shut up.

Per my last letter (I hope you choke on it) by @fluxweeed and @lastontheboat (T, 10k)

Or: the one where Harry has writer’s block and Malfoy isn’t helping.

Party of Two by fireflavored (E, 13k)

Drinking, sex, and a total misreading of the concept of fuck buddies.

Take the Moon by @tackytigerfic (M, 15k)

Harry Potter has always wanted a family of his own, and when a deadly blood curse forces him into a marriage bond with his best friend Draco Malfoy, it looks like he might just have found one. It's just a shame they’d always planned to break up after a year…

An Act of Kindness for One Harry Potter by a Sympathetic Draco Malfoy by 0idontknow0 (E, 15k)

As Draco leaned on the wall to wait for them to get dressed, he could not help feeling like he had done a very kind thing by disrupting them. Someone should give Potter a better rogering than that sorry sod had. The man had saved the bloody world—okay, mostly Europe—the least someone could do was give him a proper shag.

It's Friday (I'm in Love) by @punk-rock-yuppie (E, 16k)

At first, Draco only hangs out with them on Fridays after work; then he starts shagging Potter after pub nights. Then all the rest of the gang tries to befriend Draco and even worse, Potter tries to date him. It’s an absolute disaster, if you ask Draco. Or, Draco and Harry fall in love over the course of several Fridays and some other days of the week.

solemates by @shiftylinguini (E, 17k)

It starts because Harry has no self-control when it comes to meaningless and entertaining competition. Actually no, that's not quite right. It starts because Harry is absolutely plastered.

Five Weddings and a Potions Accident by lauren3210 (E, 19k)

In which Harry thinks he’s a playboy, everyone else knows better, and Hermione will kill Seamus if Ron tries to collect on that bet.

Nothing But You On My Mind by @moonflower-rose (M, 29k)

Potter has been in Australia on an internship for almost a year, and Draco cannot wait for him to get back home. They'll finally have a chance to talk about their feelings for each other. What could possibly go wrong? Loads, as it turns out.

Around You Moves by ignatiustrout (M, 29k)

Harry knew Draco was gay when he invited him to move in. He’s never had a problem with this. So why does he feel so weird about Draco bringing men home all of a sudden?

(The Piece) I was Missing All Along by lauren3210 (E, 30k)

Draco and Harry have been flatmates and best friends for years, and Draco thinks life is just perfect that way. But when something comes along and threatens to take all that away, Draco has to decide what it is he really wants, and just how hard he's going to work to get it.

A Love Story of Less-Than-Epic Proportions by InnerLilith (E, 39k)

Harry and Draco are just friends. Sure, they work together, and live together, and go to gigs together, and do pretty much everything else together—so what? That’s just what friends do. And Harry has no interest in messing with their friendship. He certainly doesn’t need everyone else constantly meddling, pestering them to just get on with it and get together already. He’s having a hard enough time as it is, trying to come to terms with the fact that he probably isn’t ever going to find love. But who needs love, anyway, when you’ve got a best friend?

Another Heart Whispers Back by @slytherco (E, 53k)

At twenty-five, Harry Potter is still a virgin and sorely lacking in options to change that state anytime soon. To help him find a plus one for Ron and Hermione’s wedding, and maybe kill two birds with one stone, Harry’s friends set him up on a series of blind dates. The only problem is, there’s something not quite right with each of their candidates.

Nights With You by @the-sinking-ship (E, 58k)

Draco is mortified when moments prior to departing for the most anticipated destination wedding of the year, he is cruelly dumped. But when he learns that Harry Potter has, at long last, split with his horrible boyfriend, Draco is certain his luck has changed. Never a man to squander an opportunity for revenge (and what would probably be a spectacular shag), Draco vows to make Potter his for the weekend.

All Must Draw Near by Saras_Girl (M, 61k)

Harry doesn't have time for rumours; he has a shop to run. Which is just as well, really.

The Pure and Simple Truth by lettered (G, 65k)

Harry, Draco, and Hermione go to a pub. Harry, Draco, and Pansy go to a pub. Harry, Draco, Pansy, and Hermione go to a pub. Harry, Draco, Hermione and Ron go to a pub. Harry, Draco, Hermione, Ron, and Pansy―you guessed it―go to a pub. I could go on. In fact, I did. Harry, Draco, Hermione, Pansy, Ron, Blaise, Luna, Goyle, Neville, and Theodore Nott go to a pub. In various combinations.