#ALSO YOU DREW ME??!?!?!?! MULTIPLE TIMES????!?!?! YOU KNOW IM GONNA SCREAM

[calumsash]

teresa just know im in literal tears over this, the wait was totally worth it AHHHHHHH!!!! @merry-the-cookie

from you designing them, to asking me to check the website before it goes up that it's all good, to ordering everything (obvi im number teresa fan) and to ACTUALLY GETTING THEM AND HOLDING THEM IN MY HANDS!!!!! im so proud of you

they came out perfect and they're so cute i can't stop smiling looking at them <3

and don't get me started on the drawings cause im never gonna recover from this 😭🥺🫶 you're too kind and im lucky i get to call you my friend love youuuu <33333

10000/10 would order again my new favorite 5sos merch the boys WISHED they could achieve this level of greatness <3

[shrimplymoray]

HEHEHE TENA im coming in with another bimbovirus scenario request <3 Eri and Cody celebrating her birthday together in the lab, she’s blowing a small cake and making a sweet wish with him!! thank uuuu <3 (happy birthday to me)

HIHI ERI!!! HOPE YOU WAKE UP TO A GREAT DAY SINCE IT IS YA BDAY!!!!

I had wild ideas for this since u asked, but I think I found the perfect one AKA the one I drew for you. By the way, why don't I share that drawing?

Birthday surprise - BimboVirus (and BEN)

It was coming the day, Cody knew it, and that made him nervous. What day? His stupid assistant's birthday. Eri was not the brightest person, by far, but she was still one of the closest person he had, though not by his choice, per say.

Cody had thought of multiple things he could do for her. Maybe actually teaching something, but that was gonna probably cause the 5th lab fire this week, and the fire extinguisher was running low already. He also could try preparing something for her, but his skills on the kitchen were not as good as one would expect. He was running low on ideas each minute that passed, until he remembered the person that was most likely able to help, much to his displeasure.

"So... You came here to ask me for help, huh? What will I get in return?" BEN asked, with his arms crossed and a grin on his face.

"Listen here I am not asking for help, I am asking for advice, fucknuts. You are one of the only person who know her good, since you track her phone. What do you think would be a good birthday gift?" Cody was red from embarrassment of just having to ask BEN of all people.

"She is a bimbo, dude. Anyone with more than two braincells can think of a pink dress to give her. Unless..." The elf boy went closer to Cody, nudging him with his elbow "you like her, dontya big guy? I can help plan a party for her if I can have a piece of cake too."

"WHAT NO I DON'T. YEAH SHE IS CUTE AND KINDA ABOVE AVERAGE STANDARDS ON APPEARANCE AND IS ENTERTAINING AND... oh shit I really like her..." Cody had to hide his face in his hands " fine you get a piece of cake, just help me with this shit."

.

.

.

Eri had gone back to the manor after going out with Nina, Clockwork and Zero to a birthday shopping spree. Though none of the girls shared the same aesthetic, they managed to have fun shopping each time, which always brightened the bimbo girl. She even bought this super adorbs frilly dress that she thought would look good with the lab coat Sir Cody got her.

Talking about it, she needed to get to the lab, she IS Sir Cody's super adorbs assistant, and he probably was having to handle all that brain consuming paper work. It's her birthday, but she needed to work. And maybe Eri really just wanted to be near Cody, but who could say?

When the girl reached the Lab, though, she heard another voice inside. Was Sir Cody doing an experiment on Toby again? No, the voice was different. Sounded like... BEN?

Cody opened the door to find Eri, which lead him on a spiral of thoughts before he mustered. "Finally you're here. I've been waiting for you to show for... Work. All day. I need you to come with your eyes closed. Don't ask questions."

"Oh okay Sir Cody! Did you... Prepare a surprise for little ol' me? Oh sir Cody..." The girl continued to blabber happily with her eyes closed, while Cody carefully guided her to a spot in the lab. He hoped she wouldn't burn everything accidentally this time.

He had to motion for Ben to put stuff at the right place quietly while he guided her to a beautiful cake that Cody bought.

"Can I open my eyes now?"

"Yeah just don't-"

Eri opened her eyes and let an excited happy scream of the lab being totally decorated in pink and with the beautiful pink cake. Omg did sir Cody do all of this for her? Oh and Ben is there too, what is he doing in here?

"... Overreact." Cody sighed "Me and BEN put this little party to you. For your birthday and stuff... And, uh..."

"Oh sir Cody I loved loved it!! Everything looks amazing! Oh i could give you a kiss from how happy I am!!"

Cody almost choked with what she said, and stood his hands up "not necessary."

"Hey, where is my payment for the help, 'Sir Codyyy~'?" BEN mocked, with a shit eating grin. Oh how Cody hated him right now.

"Ugh, fine, I'll cut the cake, let me just do something real quick." Cody, as quickly as he could, gave a kiss to Eri's cheek and but his mask up to hide his blush.

Eri... She was on the clouds and felt as if she was gonna faint from how much blood run to her face. He just... She...

"Dude you are going to kill her this way..."

"Shut the fuck up and get your cake"

"Can I blow the candles first?"

"Oh, uh, sure."

Eri held a deep breath before quickly yelling "I want sir Cody to kiss my cheek again!!" And blowing the candles.

"Oops, I guess now Sir Cody will have to kiss my cheek again..."

"... You have to wish in your head for it to come true, Eri."

Happy bday Eri, love uu/p and hope we will share more BimboVirus content with each other!!!

[valkyrieofsmut]

Captive Love   19

UF!Sans x Reader (or Frisk if you wanna)

Summary: Sweetheart enjoys flustering Papyrus, and he tries to educate her in the greatest of performers; Mettaton... Aka, share his interests with her. Also... other stuff happens.

A/N: Important stuff! So! While looking through stuff, I looked through the bookmarks to this story (on Ao3, for multiple reasons) and saw a comment in the bookmark saying that they weren't sure why she hadn't gotten her voice back, yet. This is honestly a good question. I guess it wasn't clear enough, I mean, a lot of stuff has happened. I tried to put the speech indicators to show that her voice is getting better, but then she'll yell and scream at Sans or someone on the phone (her idiot boss) and it'll get a bit worse. Also, I did a count of the days (quickly scanning through the whole file so I could be a little off) and at the beginning of the next chapter she's only been there for two weeks (13 days actually) and only been awake for 10 of them. Even if we give the benefit of the doubt and say three weeks (pretty sure that's the time frame I was aiming for about the point they had sex), she's basically gotten her voice back, its just a bit wobbly and squeaky. I dunno 'bout the rest of y'all, but last time I got sick (actually right before I started writing this story) I lost my voice for about a month and a half. I started getting it back after a month, had two weeks of the squeaky voice of a dog toy, and then a week of where it was mostly back, but still wobbly and had to clear my throat a lot because of it cutting out and squeaking. This is for informative purposes, not to be a jerk. Even though I feel like a jerk... lol God damn it! Do you know how hard I tried not to make it so he had a sock thing?! Maybe a preference or soft spot, but not an all out fetish. Like, 'ooo, yeah, those're sexy,' sure, but not, 'oh god, I'm so hard 'cause you're wearing socks!' *sigh* I fail at life... Enjoy an about double length chapter!.

Masterlist      Series Masterlist

Story

Papyrus tries to be... friendly? Maybe. Is that what he's doing? Yes.

Contrary to what Sans had said, the two spent the time until Papyrus came back not having sex, but cuddling and making out. 

“SANS!” Papyrus called from downstairs, knowing too well not to go near his brother’s room unless he was interested in an accidental show. 

Sans pulled back from the kiss he was tangled in with (Y/n), glancing to the door before giving her another kiss and climbing from the bed to go down to his brother. 

(Y/n) laid back, biting her lip and smiling. 

Ok… so it hadn’t started out great, but, really, even if she left now, the sex was amazing, and she wouldn’t have a problem messaging him. Who knew about a relationship, but what they had was pretty sweet. 

A sudden realization hit her. 

What did Sans think of relationships? 

Was it something monsters did? It seemed like they avoided showing that they had feelings or emotions at every turn, and she could see how having a relationship would blow that out of the water. 

Did she want a relationship? 

Yes, sex was nice, and it was nice spending time with him, but… it was entirely different than having a relationship. Right now, they were basically almost friends, with benefits. Maybe closer to fuck buddies who liked hanging out. 

It was a strange gray area to be in. 

(Y/n) stretched and climbed from the bed, hurrying to grab some clothes and head to take a quick shower to wash the smell of sex from her. 

How long had it been since her body had felt so well used? So nicely taken care of? 

...How long had it been since she’d been a willing participant in it becoming this sore? 

She shook her head to get that thought out of her head. 

It didn’t matter, anyway, that bastard was gone, and she was here. 

She needed to enjoy her life. 

She instead focused on washing up, bemoaning that her legs had gotten so hairy and that there was no razer around here to shave. How could she have forgotten to tell Sans to get one when she sent him out for everything and the kitchen sink? 

After her shower, she went into Sans’ room and found the bag he’d brought back on the off chance that he had gotten one and she’d just missed it. 

No luck, though she did find a pair of really cute over the knee socks. They looked like they were either from a halloween display, or from a store that sold punk and goth type clothing, having a print of tiny scattered skull and crossbones, and a bit of lace and back ribbon at the top.

Well… at least they’d cover the hairs on her legs and she wouldn’t be so self conscious about them. 

She pulled on a shirt, the pants she’d originally been wearing, and did her best with her hair before she walked downstairs. 

Papyrus was making a lot of noise in the kitchen, and Sans was nowhere to be seen. 

He must have gone out for something… 

(Y/n) went to the kitchen and stopped next to Papyrus. 

He looked down at her with a suspicious glare, but she responded with a friendly grin. 

Papyrus quickly looked away with a bit of red growing over his cheeks. 

Embarrassment… that’s right; being nice flustered him. 

A mischievous grin lifted her lips. 

This was going to be fun. 

As Papyrus started trying to make the shepherd's pie again, she stood near, pre measuring things and handing them to him. 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING, HUMAN?!” He demanded, his hands going to rest on his pelvis. 

“He-ping,” she told him, then shot a huge grin. [helping]

Papyrus' sharp teeth gritted hard and he turned away with a glare. 

(Y/n) held back her laughter. 

So much fun. 

As Papyrus was starting to layer, the door opened and Sans came back in. 

“SANS! COME GET YOUR HUMAN! SHE’S UNDERFOOT!” Papyrus demanded. 

Sans entered the kitchen, seeing (Y/n) helpfully handing a bowl of mashed potatoes to his brother, whose skull was glowing across his cheekbones and nasal ridge. 

He stuffed his smokes in his pocket and strolled over to where (Y/n) was grinning at him. He gave her a devious grin back, his sharp teeth flashing at her, and let his tongue trace his golden fang suggestively. 

Sans stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling behind her ear. "c'mon, sweetheart, stop botherin' my bro an' come in th' other room wit me. i got an idea 'f how ta entertain ya." Sans chuckled at her obviously flustered form against him. “c’mon sweetheart, give ‘im th’ potatoes an’ come wit me.” 

Papyrus took the bowl of potatoes from her and made a disgruntled and disgusted noise as Sans guided (Y/n) to the other room. 

He sat her on the couch and sat next to her, pulling the remote out and putting on a show. 

(Y/n) sniffed the air, noticing a heavier cherry and vanilla smell around Sans. 

"What's that sm-ll?" She asked. 

"what smell?" Sans asked, looking over at her with a brow ridge up. 

"It's on you, like… vanilla, and cherry," she told him. 

"oh," Sans hummed, pulling out a slightly worn box to show her. "that's my smokes."

"You smoke?" She asked in surprise. 

"yeah, sometimes," he murmured, his eyelights flashing to the kitchen. 

(Y/n) mentally shrugged. Smoking was bad, but who knew if it even affected him the same way… He wasn't doing it around her, and at least the smoke smelled good. 

Over all, filed under 'not her business'. 

.

After a dinner filled with Papyrus shooting them disgusted looks from his spot across the table and telling them the 'thrilling adventures' he'd had that day, Papyrus made them stay downstairs to watch Mettaton shows. 

"boss, i don't wanna watch any mettaton stuff," Sans complained. 

"TOO BAD; I'M NOT LETTING YOU TWO WANDER OFF TO YOUR OWN DEVICES! WHO ONLY KNOWS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN THEN!" 

"heh, i know what'd happen," Sans commented, giving (Y/n) a suggestive wink. 

Papyrus gave a put upon sigh and wedged his way between them on the couch. 

"hey, bro, what're ya doin'?!" Sans complained, shuffling out of the way a bit so he didn't get sat on. 

"I DON'T WANT THE TWO OF YOU CANOODELING RIGHT NEXT TO ME!" Papyrus declared. 

"then let us go up ta my room, bro," Sans sighed, managing to hold back his irritation. "simple as that." 

"NO CANOODELING!" Papyrus declared. 

He spent a lot of the shows explaining to (Y/n) how their star, and sometimes only actor, was better than anything humans could possibly have, often spending half a segment explaining the ‘complicated and far superior’ bits. 

After enough time had apparently passed, Papyrus decided it was time to go to bed and ushered them all upstairs. 

As soon as the door closed behind them, Sans let out an irritated breath before looking up at (Y/n) and letting his sharp teeth curl into a predatory grin. 

Heat shot through (Y/n)'s belly, her heart rate going up. 

"c'mere, sweetheart," Sans beckoned her to the bed as he reached it himself. "i have a feelin' yer tongue's been away from mine fer too long…" 

(Y/n) felt a bit of embarrassment mixing with the excitement that was filling her, heat starting to build already. 

"aw, c'mon, sweetness," Sans drew his voice out temptingly, the low tones somehow reminding her already wettening core what he'd done to it earlier and making it clench. "no need ta be so shy noww." 

(Y/n) slowly stepped toward the bed, fluttering filling her belly. 

“there ya go,” Sans praised as she got closer. “that’s it, sweetheart, c’mon closer,” he told her as he knelt on the bed and moved to the middle, sitting on his knees. “wait, this’s gonna be easier if ya take those pants off b’fore ya get up here,” he commented. 

A wave of trepidation fell over her, and she thought through what was happening, trying to be completely sure she was ok with what was about to happen. 

One round of sex and a day of making out, you could… maybe still be friends. Any more than that… who knew… 

“what’s wrong, sweetheart?” Sans asked, his expression turning more toward question than the suggestive thing it had been. 

(Y/n) paused, then reached for her pants and started taking them off. 

“mmm, there ya go, sweetheart,” Sans commented as she started crawling toward him on the bed, his expression slipping back to that one of suggestive intent. 

She made her way up, then paused in front of him, biting her lip as she reached under her shirt and worked her bra off without taking off her shirt. Her attention was drawn back to Sans at the lustful noise he made as she threw it to the floor behind her. 

“i didn’t know ya knew magic, sweetheart,” Sans chuckled, leaning forward and grabbing her by the hips to draw her closer to him. His hands slid down her thighs, moving around them, then up the backs to take her panties and start dragging them down her thighs. 

As she lifted one knee so he could get them off, he caught sight of the dark fabric on her calf and twisted a little around her to get a better look. 

Yes, there were little skull and crossbones distributed every so often over the black of the fabric, a bit of lace nearly hidden behind her knee. 

“fuck,” Sans murmured softly, his phalanges lingering over the soft fabric as he helped her off with her panties. 

(Y/n) looked at him in question, following his gaze, her leg registering where he was touching. 

Oh. 

Oh!

Ooooooooh… 

He’d bought those… maybe not even purposely for her… 

Here she was wearing them, and if the tent in his shorts was anything to go by, he wholeheartedly approved. 

Sans tried to stop the drool from dripping between his teeth as his fingers took in the feel of her soft leg inside of the socks, tracing the muscles that filled out the fabric and looking sexier than he had imagined. 

He hadn’t even dared to hope that she’d willingly wear them, let alone put them on herself, yet here she was, calves covered in the socks, looking sexy enough that if she pressed her knees together, her legs would look good enough to- he’d have to hold on to the backs of her thighs so that he could brace himself to thrust, keeping her feet together with his knees and her knees together with his hands- 

Sans blinked his sockets to clear his fantasy, gripping the backs of her thighs and pulling her up into his lap, pausing only to get his shorts out of the way. Then he was pulling her up over him, her knees on the outsides of his hips, angling and positioning them both so that as he eased her to sit down, she felt the head of his cock brushing against her. 

(Y/n) bit her lip, her body giving all the signals that it was interested and ready, and one of his hands slipped between them to guide his cock, brushing against her wet folds until he found her opening. 

The hand on her hip gripped harder as he encouraged her down, sliding into her, and his face turned into a grimace of pleasure. 

“nnn, fuck, ya feel jus’ ‘s good ‘s last time…” He told her through gasped breaths. “fuuuuck, sweetheart… ya a’ways this hot an’ wet, or is this jus’ fer me?” He groaned as she sank down, her thighs finally meeting where his shorts had crumpled around his femurs. 

“Sans,” she whispered, her hands clenching around the back of his shirt, grabbing at his ribs and making him growl needily. 

One of his hands buried itself in her hair, tangling and fisting in it to point her face to his, his teeth pressing against her lips and parting them to let his tongue meet hers, and she moaned, her hips following the motions he was guiding her through to get a bit of movement going. 

It was a bit awkward due to the angle, and only served to make them both want more. 

Sans' hand moved from her hip to give a rough grope to her ass, holding her against him as he turned and laid over top of her. 

His pelvis stayed against her as he knelt up, his hands running down her calves, the roughness of his phalanges catching a little at her socks. 

He gave a squeeze to her calves, then lifted them up over his shoulders, nuzzling them, his hands stroking over them. 

His hands slid down to her thighs, gripping them tightly before starting to move his pelvis. 

He rocked gently for a moment, but soon leaned forward, pushing her knees closer to her chest as he did, and it seemed to open her up to him more, making her able to feel every inch of him as he moved inside her. 

Sans held her thighs tight against his ribs, keeping her calves on his shoulders and nuzzling against them as he thrust. They felt so soft under his phalanges, against his cheekbone-

His eyelights stayed on her as he panted for breath, thrusting into her rhythmically. He could feel her hands grabbing and twisting around his shorts, trying to pull him into her as her hips gave little bucks trying to meet his. 

fuck... 

She was so cute- the socks were adorable, and they made her look even cuter… 

His tongue reached out and traced over her calf, making him grunt as she clenched around him. “oh, sweetheart,” he groaned softly, nipping at her calf. 

A noise escaped (Y/n), but she tried to swallow it, trying to keep quiet as he sped up. 

Sans gripped her thighs tightly, pushing into her faster and faster, his pointed teeth digging into her sock covered calf, his tongue brushing over it. 

(Y/n) gasped, her mouth dropped open as she tried to stay quiet, her body bouncing as he pushed into her harder. 

“fuck, sweetheart- ya squeezin’ ‘round me like that- ya like what ‘m doin’ ta ya?” He asked, watching her face. 

(Y/n) nodded, her hand tightening in the fabric of his shorts. 

“yeah?”

She nodded again as she gasped for air, trying desperately not to make noise to piss off the other skeleton in the house, starting to get light headed at how much oxygen she was taking in. 

“nnn, fuck- y’re so sweet, sweetheart,” he told her, gulping in air as he tightened his hands, holding her steady as he pounded into her. 

She was going to have bruises there, though it couldn’t seem to matter to her mind. He was hitting every perfect place inside her- it felt so good- he felt so perfect inside her- every spot lighting up with pleasure- so amazing- 

And then he bit her calf again, his tongue trailing over the sock that made her seem even more adorable and sweet. 

“Ungh-” (Y/n) squeaked, holding back the other noises as she came, her body tightening and pulsing around Sans as she softly moaned his name. 

“uuuuuuugh, sweetheart- tha’s right, come fer me- nnn- ya feel s’good- fuck- fuckfuckfuck-!” He growled out as he fell over the edge and followed her into bliss, his jaw clenched tight to keep quiet. He didn’t need his brother bursting in and ruining the mood. 

As they came down, Sans leaned forward and kissed her, his tongue and teeth moving with her mouth, small noises leaving them both. 

Sans chuckled after a moment, his hands squeezing her ass with her legs now wrapped around him. 

“What’s so funny?” She asked, watching his face. 

“nothin’, i jus’ feel bad fer humans ’s all. any guy who doesn’t get ta feel ‘is girl keep pullin’ at ‘im like this, really. can’t ‘magine. jus’ feels so good. c’mere, sweetness,” he coaxed, though he was the one who did all the work of wrapping his arms around her and rolling so that she was again on top of him before he gave a content sigh. 

“Their loss,” (Y/n) murmured back with a chuckle of her own. 

They started drifting off, but (Y/n) would swear she heard Sans say, “‘m glad i found ya… some a th’ best luck in my life…”

 A/N: Uh... In case it wasn't clear... Yes, Sans was thinking of pressing Sweetheart's calves together and fucking the space between near her knees... um... while she was wearing the socks... I- I don't know... I was going to have him just think about licking or nipping, but, in the moment that's what came out instead... Sans does what he wants when I write, apparently... Sans: damn straight i do, doll!

[inknose]

mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

[hermionegranger56]

ok lads its time for my breakdown of folklore, something absolutely no one is asking for but here we are!! this album. thIs ALBUMMMM. dear GOD. the intersection of my two favorite things, taylor swift and indie folk???? i feel like i’m dreaming. when she announced the surprise drop i literally burst into tears and evidently for good reason lol.

anywho here’s the thing. Red has been my all time favorite album for 8 years now. it holds such an important place in my life and i never thought anything she did could come close (though Lover almost did). but this. THIS IS BETTER THAN RED

the lyrical genius is unmatched here. taylor isn’t just writing songs here, this is POETRY. every song is nuanced, intricate, devastatingly beautiful, with words that’ll haunt me for a long time. and the fact that it’s stories, literal folklore, no longer just about her own life is incredibly creative and is executed so well for someone who has interwoven her life into her entire body of music thus far. folklore blends facts with fiction so seamlessly and is a true exhibition of taylor’s power as a songwriter.

and the vibessss!! from haunting heartbreak songs, to ethereal lost-in-the-woods vibes, to a comforting return to her old self, this album has everything. taylor is without a doubt one of the most versatile artists of our generation, having success and skill in multiple genres and folklore only solidifies this fact.

ALL RIGHT KIDS LETS JUMP IN

the 1: hell yeah explicit tswift give it to me lol you ARE on some new shit!! ok when i first listened to this i hadn’t read her statement about the other perspectives and i was about to RIOT about her and joe breaking up (like they could ever lol). this is such a catchy beat, such a casual?? look at such a painful feeling? a really good start to this album. the part where she goes another day waking up aLONE killlllllls me wow

fave lines: “in my defense i have none/for never leaving well enough alone”

cardigan: (don’t get me started on the mv it’s gorgeous) YES THE TEENAGE LOVE TRIANGLE suchhh a good concept!! the melody of this song is unreal, the chorus makes me want to scream it’s so beautiful, the i-i-i is SOMETHING ELSE. it’s crazy how just the melody makes betty’s pain so palpable, but so enchanting at the same time. it’s bittersweet and cinematic and i’m in love. PETER LOSING WENDY GOD. easily top 5 song here

fave lines: “when you are young they assume you know nothing”, “cause i knew you/ heartbeat on the high line/ once in 20 lifetimes i” “you drew stars around my scars/but now i’m bleeding”

the last great american dynasty: watch hill!!! her watch hill house!! i live near there!! oh i think this song is so clever and i love how it ties into mad woman as well as harkens back to starlight. i LOVE the way she ties her self in, “and then it was bought by me” like ughhh her mind? and its catchy AF

fave lines: “i had a marvelous time ruining everything”

exile: YOU KNOW HOW TO DO AN INDIE ALBUM??? BRING BON IVER INTO THIS SHIT!! wowww this song is haunting and is definitely the “i’m you but stronger” version of The Last Time. the overlap of both of them singing and their parallel lines are flawless. i could play this on repeat for hours and contemplate my whole existence

fave lines: “you never gave a warning sign/i gave so many signs”

my tears ricochet: ok somehow a track 5 with tears in the title is not the saddest song here but DAMN is it good. I love the visual of someone watching over their funeral and reacting. the music is stunningggg here. ALSO i am pretty convinced this is about the whole scott/scooter drama, like the lyrics fit so well? and she said it was the first song she wrote so the timeline kinda fits?? geniusss

fave lines: “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace”, “and if i’m dead to you/why are you at the wake?”

mirrorball: ohhhh this one is so pretty!! it just makes me want to dance around the kitchen with the person i love??? its comforting, ethereal, happyyy ugh i love it. I also think it could be about her relationship with her fans? like her music shows us different sides of ourselves idk? or just absorbing into a relationship?

fave lines: “on my tallest tiptoes/shining just for you”

seven: i’m gonna call this now: this is going to be the most underrated song on this album. it is STUNNING. POETIC. HEARTBREAKING. the music is so hauntingly nostalgic. and the lyrics, holy absolute shit. they’re a delicate testament to childhood, memory, and innocent love. it’s gut wrenching and i love it so so much

fave lines: “i’ve been meaning to tell you/i think your house is haunted/your dad is always mad/and that must be why”, “and just like folk song/our love will be passed on”, “before i learned civility/ i used to scream ferociously” ALL OF IT

august: and now we get the girl james cheated with’s perspective, which i think is great. its sunny, wistful and sad underneath all that beautiful production. when she slides from the chorus to the “back when we we’re changing for the better” and hits that “mineeee to lose” GOD, it just fills your chest. i feel like even if you never have, this makes anyone feel like they know exactly what a summer fling feels like. one of my faves

fave lines: “august slipped away/like a bottle of wine”, “cancel my plans just in case you call/ and say meet me behind the mall”

this is me trying: the slow pacing of this melody serves to show these EXQUISITE lyrics here. this is so intimate and personal and i feel like everyone can relate to this feeling of just trying to hold on and put on a brave face?

fave lines: “they told me all of my cages were mental/ so i got wasted like all my potential”

illicit affairs: ok all you need to know about this one is a) I’m obsessed b) this is the closest she has come to creating a bridge that makes me feel like the All Too Well bridge has, like scream sobbing in the car type vibe??? its unreal. and this song makes me feel that shitty feeling of: “this was supposed to be casual but oops its very much not” hmmm maybe that’s where the scream sobbing comes from hahah

fave lines: “don’t call me kid/don’t call me baby/look at this godforsaken mess that you made me/you showed me colors you know i can’t see with anyone else”

invisible string: this. THIS is probably her most stunning love song. like. i thought it was Lover. i was wrong. this one is confidently from Taylor’s perspective, about Joe and dear lord i want a love like theirs. and shit does this song put the folk in folklore, the music is so simple and gorgeous and harkens back to her country roots without losing this new sound she has. and the first few notes remind me of Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens so instantly im sold. this and betty are tied for my number 1, it’s just too beautiful

fave lines: “time curious time/give me no compasses/give me no signs” “isn’t it just so pretty to think/all along there was some invisible string/tying you to me”, “cold was steel of the axe that i had to grind/for the boys who broke my heart/now i buy their babies presents”, “hell was the journey/but it brought me heaven”

mad woman: FUCK YOU FOREVERRRRRR!!! yes taylor said fuckkkk ugh i LOVE this vibe, the revenge of the mad woman that the town cast out is so eerie and powerful, i’m obsessed. it ties back into the maddest woman of TLGAD and it feels like a spiritual sequel to The Man, the same feminist thread weaving through it. the lyrics are razor sharp and biting, i love it

fave lines: “and you poke that bear/till the claws come out/ and you find something/ to wrap your noose around”, “it’s obvious wanting me dead has really brought you two together”

epiphany: so uhhh THIS is the saddest song on folklore. fight me. the seamless comparison between wartime and the pandemic and waiting for some epiphany that could make sense of all the horrors surrounding the both. idk man, as someone who’s been a covid nurse since March, i just….this one HURTS. similar to Soon You’ll Get Better tbh

fave lines: “hold your hand through plastic now/doc i think she’s crashing out/and somethings you just can’t speak about”

betty: OH I LOVE IT WITH MY WHOLE HEART! this is such a TRIUMPHANT return to old taylor, it is so joyful but sad at the same time?? the harmonica?? the last part of the love triangle?? it sounds like Taylor Swift and Fearless all grown up and it makes me ache for back then, but love where we are right now. tbh the first time i heard this i sobbed through the whole thing just out of pure nostalgia. she’s back but at the same time she never left. this feels like a love song to original fans and it. is. incredible. my favoriteeee goddd

fave lines: THE WHOLE CHORUS BABYYYYY

peace: it’s gorgeous, especially the guitarrr ugh. this feels like delicate’s quiet older sister. i think it’s definitely about joe and how taylor, despite loving him, still has these insecurities and fears about what a relationship with someone in her position could be like? like there will be struggles, but he’s her family and she “would die for you in secret”. stunning

fave lines: “i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm”, “the devils in the detail/but you’ve got a friend in me”, “give you my wild/give you a child”

hoax: i’m surprised she ended it on a sad one (but we still have the lakes!!) but this song is hauntingly beautiful WOW. every line of this absolutely floors me. i think this one will also be largely underrated, but it is pure poetry and deserves so so much hype

fave lines: “stood on the cliffside/screaming give me a reason/your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in”, “it still hurts underneath my scars/from when they pulled me apart/but what you did was just as dark” “my kingdom come undone/ my broken drum/ you have beaten my heart”

ANYWHO TAYLOR HAS PRODUCED HER BEST WORK TO DATE AND IM READY FOR SAD GIRL AUTUMN

[boymeetsweevil]

BTS as (weird) babies in your daycare

Kim Seokjin

The oldest of the bunch

brings two designer brand lunchboxes in to school

his lunches cost more than yours do

he eats all his food and then will go around the lunch table asking the others for small bites of their meal and they usually give in to him because he shouts “but we’re BROTHERS >:O” if they say no the first time around

the one that likes to take you by the hand while you’re in the middle of paperwork or something and bring you to see that castle he was working on

you compliment him on it and then you’re dismissed like:

“Wow jin that’s a great castle you did a great job stacking the blocks”

“Thank you teacher can you leave now?”

And you go back to your paperwork feeling kind of small before you remember that you are more than a decade older than the tiny child that sent you away

not the bossiest child (that’s jimin) but is a close second

is the most catalogue looking child you’ve ever seen

when you’re bored in the classroom during naptime and you play with your phone, he’s the one who only slept for 20 minutes

he then proceeds to come over and sit in your lap for a chance to play with your phone

You open up snapchat and play with the filters with him in the dimmed playroom and listen to his little chime-like giggles

his selfies are 80x cuter than yours before the filters and when the little dog ears come out to play you have no chance

Always brags about his older brother being able to use shoes “with no velcRO and long LONG lOng stringlaces” (=shoelaces)

hoseok always yells back that there’s no such thing as shoes without velcro “unless youre a growned-up and your hyung isn’t a growned-up i saw him at the park hes just a kid too!!”

Always brings in crafts that he made with his au pair for the class

currently has an obsession with hearts so he has been bringing in crudely cut heart shaped cut outs with scribbly stick figures on them

everyone got one, even you

he also made sure to draw himself into everyone’s heart as well

in the one he made for you its clear he drew himself first because he’s normal sized and you’re gigantic and bending horrifically around the edge of the heart because he didn’t plan the spacing well 

Also brings in the best group snacks when its a holiday or his birthday

cries when you tell him its not okay to sit on the other boys when they bother him

Always wants to be your helper and repeat what you just said to the class like he’s your assistant he is SUCH a teacher’s pet

“can i be teacher jinnie?”

“ummmmmm...not right now, maybe later okay?”

“oh...When im bigger???”

“uh Yes! when youre bigger”

“okay....Teacher im bigger now”

gives you wet cheek kisses :’)

He has the CUTEST laugh and when he laughs you laugh because its one of those rolling baby laughs that just doesn’t stop and you find yourself chasing him around the playroom to hear his giggle even though your feet hurt

drinks more milk than anyone in the class

as a result he has the NASTIEST farts

Min Yoongi

The one who has been coming the longest but still takes a good 45 minutes to stop sulking after being dropped off before he’s in the mood to play

will legit stand by the window to watch his mom drop him off every fucking morning like he doesn’t know where she’s going and if she’s coming back

when you come over to see if he’ll play with the other kids, he just turns and pouts at you and whines a little and turns back to the window

When he’s not in a funk though he is the most mature kiddo

Plays the best by himself, and is very simply entertained

brought in some homemade maracas for his show and tell day

it was literally just a recycled cardboard container with dried beans in it that he had scribbled all over with 40 different markers

keeps calling it “makaka”, you try not to laugh you fail

he just sat on the edge of the rug in the playroom and shook the box of beans softly to himself for an hour

when the shaking stopped you came over to see if he was alright and you realize he fell asleep

is surprisingly chatty

probably has the best vocabulary or is tied with joon

but also probably ahead of joon in terms of working vocab because while joon knows how to use “extraordinary” he also can’t grasp what the slide is called and yoongi has him beat there

ALWAYS FALLS ASLEEP first

sometimes will ask if he can start nap time early and drags the pillow and blanket the parents bring in from home up to your desk to make a more convincing argument

is always patient zero and gets fevers really easliy

when that happens you have to carry him around while you putter through the classroom and rub his back while he sleeps it off

you have to shush the other kids while he sleeps because theyre always so loud when they ask “Is Yoongi SICK???? :(”

he sleeps in your lap during nap time on those days and you stroke his fat fever-rosy cheeks when he whines in his sleep from the heat

cries whenever taehyung says his drawings are ugly

but they are, especially if he draws you 

theres always this weird expression on your face and sometimes you think about it when youre up late at night and then you cant sleep

is full of full facts about insects because his dad reads about them before bed

and is apparently always at the library

you saw him there once and he almost exploded because what are you doing outside the school

“teacher what are you going here”

“i came to get some books just like you”

“but i thought you couldn’t leave the school”

“i can leave the school...”

“wont you get a time out?”

“um no sweetie”

Yoongi has a huge sweet tooth and gets super excited on fridays when his mom packs him like chocolate milk or something 

can never open the little carton so he brings it to you and just vibrate next to you until you poke the straw in

pretty sure you saw his eyes roll into the back of his head once while drinking it

has fallen asleep with the carton in his hands on multiple occasions

HAS THE SWEETEST BABY LISP YOU’VE EVER HEARD

when you bring your guitar in for music days he sits at the front and listens SUPER intently and always tries to come over and touch it while you’re playing so have to be like

“yoongi, sweetie, please sit down”

“um okay. teacher ? im gonna play the giddar too okay?”

“while I’m playing it?”

“Yeah :)”

“no yoongi.”

“Okay...teacher?” REPEAT 1-6

Jung Hoseok

This kid is all over the place oh my god

srsly he is always tripping on shit because he is always running

and his jeans are a little too long because they're hand me downs from his sister and he refuses to let his dad put a belt on him in the morning

loves to hold hands but his hands are always so so so sticky

like wtf

he will want to hold your hand during walking field trips and you want to just yank your hand away and wipe it on your jeans and douse it in hot water but you don’t because he loves to hold hands and his hand is small and soft and warm and you don’t want to hurt his feelings :’(

you compromise by helping him when he’s at the sink and make sure he uses soap

probably the one who won’t stop putting his hands down his pullups

not in a weird way but in that way where kids will develop some weird habit/quirk that they do on autopilot for comfort

He probably tests your patience the most because is also: THE LOUDEST

he is that kid that screams bloody fucking murder when you turn the lights off for naptime,  every day :)

but not to be funny because he’s scared of the dark

he was originally placed somewhere else but he kept getting up in the middle of nap time to drag his blanket and pillow over to you to sleep nearby

when you asked him what he was doing he said that he sleeps near his big sister when he gets scared and you have to bite your knuckle not to cry when you realize he counts you too

Speaking of big sister, dawon goes to the day care for older kids on the floor above ur classroom

sometimes the teacher upstairs will let her come down to say hi

she stands by the doorway and watches him play with stuffed animals for a few minutes before going “hooooooobiiiiiiiiiii” and he drops everything to run over and she pets his hair and asks if he’s being good in that way where you can tell kids are parroting some random adult 

tbh this is your least favorite time of the day because he always wails because she can’t stay but he really misses his big sis and makes you tear up a little too

Sometimes another teacher will come in for “Body Time” and does yoga stretches with the kids

hobi is such a whiz at body time and always does the stretches with a surprising amount of control

its probably his second favorite thing next to running in literal circles in the tall grass during outside time in the spring

He’s a bit of a perfectionist because if you move his dominoes out of the little rows he made, even by just a fraction of a millimeter he. will. lose it.

Also won’t eat food that touches or crusts of bread or fruit skins

but he will eat orange slices without fail as long as you “make them into pieces first teacher :’(”

always gets stung by bees?????

because: yoongi likes bees a lot, he thinks theyre cute and interesting and he always takes hoseok by the hand to the nearest hive to tell him facts and point at things with a pudgy finger

but you’ve told the kids time and time again not to go near beehives but yoongi loves bees too much and hobi startles easily and either jostles the hive or pisses off a nearby bee

Kim Namjoon

Is the only one that can read

you were super shocked when you came over to him one day looking intensely at a book and he was confused and you were like

“what’s the matter, joonie”

“i can’t find the kittens in the picture”

“What kittens” and you read the little blurb on the page and see the word mittens and you’re like oh shit he can kinda read

so now you make sure he reads a different book from the bookshelf each day

jimin is always demanding to be read to and joon is happy to do it even when jimin switches pages on him in the middle of the book or asks to start over or start another book

Has those little baby glasses that tie behind his head so he can see

he always drops them though because he fiddles with the tie in the back and they get too loose throughout the day

He’s one of the more affectionate kids in class and will cling to your leg when he’s having a rough day

doesn’t want you to pick him up unless you’re sitting because he’s scared of heights

will sit on your lap any time its free though

often competes for lap space with kookie and often loses because kookie runs faster or joon will fall because this is joon we’re talking about

hes a good sport about it and stands next to you and asks kookie when his turn is next very sweetly

No surprise but namjoonie is always falling

but he never gets majorly hurt

maybe he scrapes a knee or a hand or something minor

he doesn’t cry much either hes a tough cookie!!

he’ll tell you a fact about prehistoric jellyfish with a wavering voice and watery eyes while you put his bandaid on

Baby Joon LOVES LVOES LVOES apple sauce

he cannot get enough of it and MANY of the stains on his little cords (his favorite clothing item) are apple sauce stains

Namjoon is sadly that kid that will eat anything though so you’re constantly watching him to make sure he doesn’t eat anything deadly

when he’s being too quiet or still in the corner of your vision you walk up quietly behind him and just stick a hand out and he spits whatever it is into the napkin in your palm with a goofy smile

eats his boogers probly :(

Joons mom always brings little treats for you because she was worreid that he would be bullied or isolated when she first enrolled him in the class but he’s doing well and she’s glad for the atmosphere you’ve set up

sometimes she sends him in with your treat if she’s too busy in the morning so he’ll totter in with his glasses and what looks like some homemade cake and your can’t help but scoop him up and plant a kiss on his cheek and tell him to tell his mom thank you

his best friend is probably jin because jin knows the alphabet and appreciates namjoon’s knowledge

jin helps joon get over his fear of the swings, but he’s still scared of heights i assure you he will start to wail if you take his feet too high off the ground

cries when he spills his apple sauce which is often but he always has a spare

 but! you’re not sure if his mom packs it because he loves it so much or because he’s bound to drop one

Park Jimin

When he first came in to school you gasped because those cheeks were a gift from above and the little always-there pout was so cute

he lives for praise, he is such a ham and he loves the way the old ladies at the front desk always try to bribe him with candy for a cheek pinch

he’s a shrewd little business man and won’t let anyone touch his cheeks for less than 2 soft caramels

Park Jimin is as bossy as they come

but everyone in the classroom has no problem with it except maybe you sometimes

he is always going “Teacher! Come here!” from somewhere in the room and you always have to go “You want to try that again, Park Jimin?” and he goes “Teacher! PWEASE come here!” and ur like...ok

Fairly independent

his dad assured you he knows how to cut with regular scissors but jimin continues to use the kiddie scissors and then act like he can’t do it and blink up at you for help

he just wants you to watch him do it

can also put on his own snowsuit without help but still wants you to do it for him because he LIVES for the personal attention

Is a tiny bit violent?

will yell really loud if you take his truck or his dino dolly

or if you make him try to take off his favorite faux cowhide sweater when its time to paint

never hits/kicks/bites tho

the one time it looked like he might hit jungkook you were there in an instant to pull him away and give him a calm and quiet but stern lecture about why his hands are not for hitting or hurting

he had frustrated tears welling up in his eyes when you brought him back to JK and had him use his words

“Kookie, I dont like when you take my toys when im still playin wif dem”

JK: *is preverbal*

and you pry the toy out of jungkook’s freakishly strong baby grip and return it to jk

Jimin’s best friend is probably tae

their moms are friends and they regularly have play dates at each other’s houses

sometimes they come in together in the mornings if one mom is busier than the other

they sleep next to each other during nap time

Chim cries when he can’t sit next to tae during snack time

Has a very adult palate for a baby

i.e. he loves vegetables

is kind of nosy and will come over to your desk when you open your lunch bag and ask to see the vegetables

you make sure to always pack a veggie because the one time you didn’t his eyes widened and he said “mama says you die if you dont eat no veg-ables”

asks if everything is a “veg-able”

jimin: *points to sandwich* veg-able?

you: no

jimin: *points to kimbap/turkey leg/piece of cake/bag of chips/an apple* veg-able?

you:....no

if you did bring a veggie that he doesn’t already have in his lunch, he’ll ask for a bite

normally you have to tell kids no when they ask for your food because you’d end up with everyone asking for a bite and no lunch, but no one else likes veggies in the class. 

so sometimes you slip a sliced cucumber to him and he holds it in two hands and runs back to his spot to eat it and then comes back like an outdoor cat looking for more food

Has a lovely singing voice

its high and pretty, kind of angelic and he tells you that he sings for his grandma a lot

you praise his singing so naturally he loves music day too and if you sing a song he sings with his mom at home he gets so excited

yoongi is enthralled when jimin knows the words to a “teacher song” before its been taught to the class

Kim Taehyung

idk why this is so pertinent to my idealization of him as a child BUT: Has the biggest head out of anyone in the classroom sorry

is so so so cute, might even be your favorite..

he’s super agreeable

loves to cuddle, eat all his food in his little stackable lunch containers, naps well, plays nicely with others, listens pretty well

BUT

he always pees himself :(

and you don’t understand it because his dad came in and bragged about how much of a big boi his son is at home in the bathroom using the toilet but at school? NOPE

he has like 8 changes on clothes for this reason

you can always tells when he’s about to pee himself because

he stands in the middle of the room and just goes “sorry teacher” really softly

your heart breaks when you hear how sad he is that he wet himself but you’re also a little irate because you’re convinced no one deals with as much pee as you do

you give him the talk every time which consists of your wriggling him into some ridiculous pink overalls while trying to make eye contact with him so you can tell him that when he feels like he has to go, he can just go to the potty

Tae carries a blanket around at all times!!!!!

he takes it everywhere with him and uses a different one to cover him up during nap time.

cries on the days that his dad drops him off without it because it has to be washed

the blanket was purple at one point but now it is straight up grey-brown

is surprisingly good at walking/running with it and not tripping on it

Jimin  started calling him tata

so now everyone calls him tata

Is probably the class sweetheart as well

when he’s out sick, literally everyone goes “where’s tata” at random times of the day even though you went over who was “at school” and who was “at home” and said he was at home

tae is so so so so good at drawing its crazy

hes way above his age grade in terms of drawing BUT he has a little trouble getting a pencil into his grip 

so you have to help him finagle it into his little hand but once he does WOOO here comes a dragon with you on its back holding a big ol sword

Is that one kid who manages to run around naked the most

its probably because you’re always in the middle of changing him when someone else distracts you and you turn around and all of the sudden he’s naked as the day he was born from the belly button and waddling back to where jimin is playing with flubber on the rug

you have to run over and scoop him up but also hold him at arms length because hello? pee?

he thinks this is hilarious and flaps his arms like hes flying

Everyone kisses tae

like when the kids get to that stage where they all try to kiss each other because their parents probably kiss them and they're like imitating their parents

everyone goes for tae

he takes it like a champ

but his face is probably v sticky after wards so you pull him over and take a wet wipe to his face

might ask you for a kiss and you place one on his LARGE forehead lol

His grandma comes in often with dolls she made for the class

tae shows them off proudly during his show and tell days and makes sure everyone plays nicely with them or theyll break because theyre normally made from soft yarn

He has a major thing for stickers and is always asking you for stickers to adorn his whole body with 

you are constantly telling him to take stickers off his face and sometimes he puts them on his eyebrow and you sigh because crying is inevitable at that point

you have limited him to 3 stickers on any given day and they go on a piece of paper labeled “Taehyung’s Tata’s stickers”

was mad when you tried to write his full name on the paper because he is tata at school >: (

Jeon Jungkook

the youngest! a true baby

when he first came to the classroom he was right in the middle in terms of age so like he technically aged out of the nursery down the hall but he wasn’t at the normal age minimum to enter your classroom and you were like Ummmmm i guess he can come? because you didn’t have very many kids so what’s one more right?

Started walking and running in the same day during his first week at the classroom!!!

you were worried he’d be too small to keep up with the other kids and might be hurt with their type of play but nope

he was constantly crawling after them trying to keep up until one day he just...stood up and you were like omg and pulled your phone up

when his parents came to pick him up you showed them the video and his dad cried

Now he’s the fastest runner in the class

he doesn’t really talk yet

hes still preverbal but you can tell he gets whats going on around him

the others are good about it

although you did have to have a day where you addressed the question they kept asking you

“Why doesn’t kookie have words?”

“he’s too little. but he’ll talk when he’s ready”

it was a short talk

He knows two words

no and something that is the approximation of hyung but you’re not certain

if he wants your specific attention he just goes “AH” really loud

says no to everything even when he means yes

this means that when you ask him if he wants to eat snack he says no and then cries when you put his lunchbox away thinking he may actually not be hungry

despite being the best at toddling, he always wants to picked up

he is such a teacher’s pet its crazy

its probably the one piece of evidence that he is the least mature of the group

and also because he misses the presence of his mom

he will settle for sitting in your lap when you’re at your desk

or when you’re trying to read to the group during “carpet reading time”

he will try to turn the pages for you but it took him a while to realize you weren’t always done reading when he turned a page and you’d have to fight him to turn the page back so you could finish

now he waits for you to say “you can turn the page now kook”

He is so so so shy omg

if a teacher from another classroom comes by to borrow something, they naturally try to come over and say hi to the one kid who you’re carrying on your hip or sitting in your lap and he just turns and smushes his face into your armpit until he suspects they’ve left

he does, however, have a weird obsession with the handyman that comes in to repair that one tricky light in the back of the art closet

kook will stare at him until he leaves and its cute because he’ll leave your lap or whine to be put down and toddle over to watch him work from a “reasonable distance”

the repairman is kind of gruff looking but he always turns and spots kook watching him like 8^O and will snort

one time he handed kook a rubber band that he had in his breast pocket and kook kept it clutched in his little hand all day

actually waves goodbye when he leaves its so precious

Kook is very sensitive to touch and stuff

so in the winter when he has to wear layers he cries a lot if the t-shirt under his sweater bunches up the wrong way

like he’s so finicky about tactile stuff

he can’t have bare feet ever

wears slippers all year, even in the summer

also cries if the classroom gets too loud and covers his ears

you think maybe he may have some sort of sensory sensitivity

won’t eat the bananas in his lunch unless you mash them with a fork for him

cried when you cut open a pumpkin to show the kids the seeds inside and later roast them because the smell was too strong for him

you had to put a tiny face mask on him to get him to calm down and he resembled a ninja turtle the whole day

He loves hobi very much and is always super giggly when hobi pays extra attention to him

always follows him around and is constantly bumping his nose on hobi’s back because he follows him THAT CLOSELY

always fights with jin

meaning he constantly swipes toys out of his hands and then sometimes gets sat on as punishment and cries until you heft jin off him

you don’t know why they always fight

is so good at hidden item picture books like Ispy

you will zoom through them because he finds everything immediately and you wonder if maybe hes a genius

you had a hunch one day and put him down in front of a 400 piece puzzle and he did a surprisingly good chunk of it in the span of the school day and went straight to it the next day

I was trying so hard to write this and couldnt think of anything and then i remembered yesterday that my friemd Worked in a daycare for the last three years??? so a lot of this is real life stuff which is funny but also really extra

all pics are from weheartit...

[legion1993]

Dark Arts + Love = Passion

A/N: once again trying something new... this is gonna be my first AU i think but thats not as important as tagging @luci-in-trenchcoats for giving me this idea... hope you enjoy this story...

AU=Soulmate

Pairing: Constantine x Reader

Summary: Constantine is the one that saved you from a demon, he shared his world with you, he brought you to the bunker.. but when Zedd comes back from a demon possession stopping of her own, she reveals a vision concerning both you and John... this is how it happened, this is how your journey with the famed John Constantine started...

Masterlist

“My name is John Constantine. I am the one who steps on the shadows, all trench coat and arrogance. I'll drive your demons away, kick 'em in the bullocks, and spit on them when they're down, leaving only a nod and a wink and a wisecrack. I walk my path alone because, let's be honest... who would be crazy enough to walk it with me?”

NOW

Y/N (possessed): “John constantine its time i kill you and return your head to my master...”

John: “ya i dont think so, now why dont you pus-sac pig headed lowlife get out of this fine lady and leave now...”

Y/N (possessed): “you have no idea how to save me without saving her... you dont realize that she is watching everything im doing right now and she is screaming for your help but she doesnt realize that i have full control of her actions and her words...”

John: “i got news for you mate, the girl will be just fine...”

John lights his lighter and throws it at the ground and it forms a circle around you... 

Y/N (possessed): “ill make sure she doesnt survive this John...”

John wouldnt allow another innocent to get hurt because of him... he did an exorcism...

John: “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, in nomine et virtute Domini Nostri Jesu!”

with a lot of screaming and a huge intake of breath the fire went out as the demon left your body, you hit the ground with a thud, well at least your body did, your head however was caught by john’s lap...

there is always a reasonable explaination for everything but waking up with your head in the lap of someone that you didnt know was the weirdest thing you ever experienced... 

John: “take it easy love... your still on an adrenaline high...”

Y/N: “where am i? what happened to me?”

John: “a demon took your body for a spin just so it could strike at me...”

Y/N: “a demon, what the hell are you talking about and who are you?”

John: “my name is John constantine, i specialize in the weird cases... this is gonna make this sound weird you and i are connected... its hard to explain but i need you to stay with me...”

Y/N: “ok but why am i covered in blood?”

John helped wrap you in his trenchcoat, you didnt reject his touch but you were shivering, John could feel it, you were emitting tremendous signs of power...

John: “come on let me take you somewhere safe where you can get cleaned up, and i can make you something to eat and explain whats happening...”

Y/N: “good something we can both agree on is food and a bath...”

John: “ay we can agree on those but i must warn you that what i have to say might not be what you want to hear...”

Y/N: “it can’t be the worst thing ive heard recently...”

John: “are you good to get up now?”

you nod as John helps you up, he holds onto you for a moment before hlping you get into the car...

As John drove you felt something, a spark between you and him... there was something there and you wanted to know what...

As John pulled up you vaguely co uld see the outlines of a house... a little cottage... but appearances on the outside isn't necessarily what it is on the inside...

your eyes were in wonder as John helped you out of the car, and you then walked with John into the house...

John: "don't touch anything these are all cursed objects, magical objects! you will learn more as time goes on..."

Y/N: "John what was that spark that I felt when I touched your skin... earlier lifting me off the ground made my skin tingle then just a few moments ago when you helped me out of the car.. what is happening?"

John looks around as if hoping someone was there...

John: "I don't know if now is the best time to discuss this... right now we need to get your powers under control..."

you backed up a bit from him as he finished speaking...

Y/N: “wait wait wait hold on a moment i have powers... what do you mean i have powers... im normal, i dont have powers...”

John: “thats where you are wrong love... you see everyone in one way or another have some sort of gifts... mystical or not, you however like me have gifts of the mystical kind...”

Y/N: “how do you know that?”

Zedd: “cause i told him...”

she comes downstairs and into the light... you back up and you look at John who is rolling his eyes....

Zedd: “oh no me and John arent together that is your job...”

Y/N: “what the hell are you talking about?”

Zedd: “im a seer i have visions... i drew this a while back, John has been trying around the clock to find you...”

she held towards you a piece of paper with the drawing of 2 forearms with joined hands but the forearms had names on them... one said “Y/N” the other said “John”...

Y/N: “this is impossible... how did you know about this???”

you rolled up your sleeve and revealed John’s name on your forearm... John who had his sleeves down rolled his up as well and connected his hand with yours as he revealed Y/N on his forearm...

you looked at John as he looked at you with the same fear that went coursing through your veins...

John: “bloody hell Zedd why did you draw this moment...”

Zedd: “i draw whatever i see John now if you dont mind im off to exterminate a demon problem nearby... plus if it wasnt for me sending you to deal with Y/N’s possession you would never have met her... by the way i saw that too...”

John: “cheeky little blitter...”

you tried to move your hand away from Johns but it didn't move...

Y/N: "what's happening? why won't our hands move?"

John: "Its the soulmate bond... it's a magical binding that happens when 2 soulmates touch with their marks... it signifies the binding of 2 souls together..."

Y/N: "so what does this mean?"

John: "it means we either at this moment need to announce the mystical bindings of marriage or consummate our soulmate binding..."

you were out of place, you were beside yourself you were talking with this guy who saved your life but turned out to be your god damn soulmate at the same time thats something that you never thought would happen...

Y/N: “my vote is announce the bindings of Marriage... so i have time to get my powers under control before we consummate anything... does that make sense...”

John breathes in lightly, his eyes staring right into your soul, his mind running wild with all sorts of thoughts... 

John: “we envoke the rights of marriage bindings, anything that we do from here on out will have a great tole on both of us till the day when we stand up in church with the rings embedded with the symbolic binding powers vested in both of us... sub vinculo tenetur illas leges per quos magicae (bind us together under the laws laid out by those whose magic bound them also)”

the second john finished his lines the circle surrounding both of you was lighter but john and you couldnt let go yet... zedd came back and laughed...

Zedd: “you guys only did the first part... there is another part that needs to happen before you guys can have your arms back...”

you and John were now facing eachother the hands that had been at your sides were now attached one on top of the other. both of you sort of smiling at eachother the thoughts swirling through your heads of all the nasty options... Zedd pulled you and John out of it and back to reality as she brought up anohter circle around you guys and she smiled at both of you...

John: “what the bloody hell did we miss?”

Zedd: “you have to both agree to the bond otherwise it doesnt work... it has to be done with another person asking you both a question of course in Latin and of course you have to answer in Latin... are you guys ready?”

John looks at you and you at him as if trying to discover how the other is feeling about all of this...

John: “im ready if you are Y/N..”

Y/N: “lets do it, i cant wait to start practicing/discovering my powers...”

Zedd: “ergo consentire in matrimonium est vinculum universorum vincula? (do you agree to the bindings of this marriage bond?)”

Y/N: “Nunc munere in hoc conveniunt (i do hereby agree)”

John: “Nunc munere in hoc conveniunt (i do hereby agree)”

Zedd lowered the circle before speaking one final line as though to complete the binding.

Zedd: “Ecce ego unionem in magica huius benedicat constitutionis (i hereby bless this union under the magical constitution) you may kiss the bride...”

John leaned in at the sametime you did and your lips did the rest, before long your hands were freed but they seemed to do their own thing...

but thats when Zedd had a vision, she started sketching as you and John made out right in the middle of the bunker, she saw multiple things...

doves

rings

a cage

the demonic circle

a set of demonic black eyes

a broken knot

seeing all these things kinda terrified Zedd but she was just happy that right then her friend and her friends soulmate were happy but she finished sketching anyway and hid it in the back of her book... for the fear that if she told right now it would make things worse than they already were...

~thats all for now folks~

[gaydemiboy]

I can't sleep and I just found the need to rant

Alrighty so, I'm pretty sure I suffer from anxiety for a very long time. I mean, years. Have I tried to tell my parents? Oh yeah, multiple times. My dad's always like "Back in my day we didn't have depression and anxiety" or "It's like the school system is telling you to be depressed". Honestly, he isn't too wrong about the latter, but sometimes depression starts at home. I even told him that and he gave me this look, like, "Are you tryna blame me?" And honestly, I kinda can. I mean, whenever I told my dad and mom back in sixth grade that I had attempted suicide over 5 times in multiple ways, they shrugged it off and were like "It's a phase". Literally, I wanted to kill myself and came closer because I wanted to get a point across. Then I got my prescription for glasses, and hoooo boy, that was one hell of a ride. Now, I knew that I needed glasses for a very VERY long time. Like, my school would send letters asking my parents to let me see an optometrist of some sort. But I finally got my prescription for glasses and. My. Parents. Flipped.

Literally lost all their shit, like. They say that if I wear glasses I "don't look normal" and that "my kids are gonna have to wear glasses and they're gonna hate me for tbe rest of my life". And honestly? That fucking broke me into a million pieces, because basically my parents were calling me a freak for something I didn't have control over.

Then I try to come out to my mom ad bisexual (I used to be bi) and she was like "Oh you're just confused" and "It's a phase, it'll pass" So yeah, I just love getting my feelings rejected by my own mother. Woop woop.

Seventh grade, I got sexually harrassed by a childhood friend. When I told my mom, she was like "oh im sorry" And hugged me and was kinda awkward about it. So then she told me dad and older brother and they told me to tell the principal. I just, i just needed someone to hug me and tell me everything was gonna be okay. I needed someone else to do the talking because i didnt feel brave enough to tell me principal. So, they send me to school like any normal day as if nothing happened. Externally i looked dead and numb, while internally i was screaming in pain, betrayal, and just. Many more more bad emotions. I told my vice principal (who was my gym teacher) and she promised to help me. And she did, the boy got in school suspension. I remember the day i told her, i didnt cry. But my voice was dead and my eyes were lifeless. Mostly because i hadnt gotten a wink of sleep that night. My family moved on as if nothing happened meanwhile i was left to deal with all that emotional shit by myself because i didnt know anyone who had been through someone like that. And my parents didnt know what to do either so they were like "eh she can deal with it herself".

Then enter eighth grade. I finally told my ELA teacher (whom I love very much and I am forever thankful to) that i was suffering through depression. I had started cutting in eighth grade, i used scissors. I basically told her everything that happened up above and some other stuff. My hands started shaking and i started crying because i never realized how much that had really hurt me until i said it out loud. I will never forget the look on her face. She looked really sad and shocked. You see, im a pretty decent student. I keep my grades up, am a good athlete, im pretty smart, and i stay outta trouble. And im also known as a quiet kid since i dont speak much except to my friends. So i kinds guess thats why she was shocked. After i finished, she hugged me really tight and said, "Sh, everything's gonna be alright. I'm so glad you told me this" And i cannot express how that made me feel. It made me feel heard, it made me feel loved. And i hugged back and kept crying. She then took me to the counslers and was there with me and helped me talk to her. I haf basketball so we walked down to the girls locker room and she hugged me one last time, "im so glad you told me this Jenny" And i hugged back them went to change. It was empty with other girl's stuff because practice had began like 30 minutes ago. I remember i started crying, but not because i was sad, i was happy. I was, extremely happy. I finally told someone and they listened and they are helping me. I quickly wiped away my tears and got changed and sprinted to the gym for practice.

Time skip, i see a therapist and my parents are finally understanding a bit better. But they mostly still think it's all in my head. My dad had the audacity of telling me, "Hey the therapist isnt cheap so like. Could you try to have less anxiety?" And honestly? That felt like a slap to the face. In my head i was like "bitch what. Did i hear right??? DID HE JUST ASK ME TO HAVE LESS ANXIETY????" and externally i was like, "um, its pretty hard to have less anxiety when ive bern dealing with it for years" And he kinda gave me this glare and turned away. I felt hurt (yet again) and so i didnt say anything else. My teacher was the only one who truly understood me. Somedays, i would skip classes to go to the counslers office because i wasnt emotionally or mentally good. ELA was my last core class of the day, so one day i go back to class. That day i had skipped my first, second, and fourth period (i had gym my third period). Then when i entered class her face seemed to light up. She was walking around, tslking about the lesson of the day. She was writing something down, then when she passed my desk she left a sticky note. I discretely grabbed it and when i looked at what it said i felt like crying. She wrote on it, "I'm so glad you're here today! ❤" And drew a heart.

This gets better.

Okay, so its the end of the year and i finally had figured out i was genderfluid. I really really really wanted to tell my ELA teacher because she is basically the only adult i trust enough. So, we went to the library one day to return our books. I was known as a bookworm and i came to the library often during the week so the librarian knew me well enough. My teacher was at the desk typing some stuff in, then i came up to her with my school agenda and pencil in hand. I told her i needed to talk to her. Then i wrote down, "I'm pansexual, demisexual, and genderfluid" She read it and gave me the biggest smile, "that's amazing to hear! You're part of such a great and beautiful community." My teacher has a part time job in the weekend as photographer. She told me she was a photographer for a gay wedding (one of the groom's later came out as trans) and i felt so happy and proud. I couldnt erase my smile off my face and like, ahhhhhhhhhh.

So, moral of this rant, please dont commit suicide. Dont think that life doesnt get better, because it does. I went from suicidal everyday to being constantly and truly happy. I am forever thankful to my teacher, Mrs. Davenport, for showing me that i dont have to go through everything alone and that someone cares. I love you, Mrs. Davenport ❤

Anywho, if anyone ever needs to talk about something, im always here and ready to listen

I hope you sll have a great day/night/afternoon

Signing off,

Jack

[celestialreyes-blog]

|| Snowfall

Pairing: Murphy x reader

Word count: 1315 Approximate reading time: 7 minutes

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Warnings: Just a bit of swearing! and cheeky Murphy at the end!!

Original Request: “Hey! Could you write something fluffy with murphamy (or memori if you don’t ship murphamy) where they (or one of them) experience snow for the first time? <33” -

A/N: This is literally nothing but fluff! I hope you all like it, since it is the first one I’ve written for this account!! (Also thank you to the lovely person who made this request! However I did have to alter your request a tad since I don’t write for Character x Character I only do Character x reader pairings!! So sorry about that love! But I hope you still enjoy reading it. -

With your arm loosely draped around his body, your head resting gently on your boyfriend, Murphy’s chest. You awoke in the middle of the night to a cold unwelcoming breeze coming into the tent, that Murphy and you have shared since you began dating. As you gently untangled your intertwined limbs from Murphy’s, being careful not to wake him, you sat up breathing in the cold air that was surrounding you in the small space. As you exhaled the freezing air from your lungs you noticed a small cloud form in front of you, you could see your breath. It was the first time in a long time it had been cold enough on the ground for you to see your breath and you were curious. As you quietly hopped out of the cot that Murphy was still soundly sleeping in, you slipped on your boots and your warm coat.

You slowly unzipped the flap of your tent, inhaling what was left of the slightly warmer air inside, before stepping out to the harsh cold that met all of the exposed skin on your face and hands. Before even looking to the word around you, you peeked back at Murphy who was still sound asleep. Zipping the tent closed behind you, you whipped around to see an absolute winter wonderland.

You’d heard about it before in books when you were back on the arc. Stories speaking about the beautiful white blankets that covered the ground before humans destroyed the planet. But now the earth was healed and you were on the ground where you belonged, however nor you or the rest of the 100 had ever experienced snow.

“Oh my god” you breathlessly spoke to yourself as you stared at the untouched blanket of snow on the ground, not a single mark or footprint held its place in the snow, it was breathtaking. You were ecstatic as you quickly unzipped the tent once more however not at all quietly this time. You wanted to wake Murphy, he had to see this with you, everyone had to experience this and you were going to make sure they all did even if it was the middle of the night.

“Murphy!!! babe wake up” you carefully spoke in a loud enough volume to wake him but not startle him.

He slowly stirred in his sleep and eventually opened his eyes. “What the hell are you doing it’s the middle of the night” Murphy groggily spoke his voice deep and scratchy from sleep, his half lidded eyes glancing up to you.

“Cmon wake up, put your boots and jacket on and come outside!!!! Hurry uuuppp!!!” you squealed, running back outside leaving a confused and startled Murphy behind.

“Shit I really don’t know what you’re going on about but it better be good.” Murphy mumbled as he emerged from the tent, stumbling over his own feet while rubbing his eyes harshly trying to wake himself.

“OPENNNN YOUR EYES, MY GOD!!! LOOOOKK!!!!!” you screeched loudly, probably waking a few of the others in the tents surrounding you.

“Holy shit! oh my god” Murphy exclaimed with a chuckle in his voice.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” You spoke, slightly more calm as you began getting used to the blanket of white around you. You began running around flinging your feet about like a child, kicking snow up in your path as Murphy chuckled watching you finally have some fun. You stopped running as you noticed that small fluffy snowflakes began falling from the sky. You brought your head back and closed your eyes with a content smile on your face, letting the flakes freckle across your face.

Not noticing Murphy sneaking up behind you, you gasped slightly as he snaked his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder. His hot breath on your exposed neck bringing a shiver up and down your spine as he eventually spoke saying the cheesiest thing that could come to his mind.

“You know it is beautiful, but I can think of something a lot more beautiful”

“And what exactly is that hmm?” You hummed in response to his comment. You asked him that question even though you knew your boyfriend well enough to know the answer he was about to reveal.

“You” he whispered while beginning to repeatedly pepper your neck and face with kisses.

“Stooooopp” you shrieked as you spun around to face him, placing your cold hands to his chest, as he brought his hands around to settle on your hips. “You’ve got to be the cheesiest person ever” you laugh as Murphy stood in front of you admiring your facial features in the dim light coming from the lanterns that were placed around camp, while a large smile crept onto his face.

“OK! I don’t care if they get mad I’m waking everyone up!” You loudly spoke as you rubbed your hands together trying to gain warmth. Stepping away from a love smitten Murphy, you made your way around shouting and banging on everyone’s tents in an attempt to wake them. “WAKE UPPP BITCHESSS” you screamed as Murphy laughed at your chosen wake up call statement.

“You’re insane, i love you” he chuckled to himself as your screams successfully drew everyone out of their tents. One by one they began stepping out into the winter paradise, the annoyed looks on their faces slowly subsiding as they looked around at their surroundings in awe. A few of them quickly darting back into their tents once they realized they’d need warmer attire before checking out the snowy camp.

As you began having a conversation with Clarke you felt a cold object hit your bottom. You shrieked and whipped around seeing Murphy with multiple snow balls in his hands. He laughed loudly with a devilish smirk on his face and began throwing them around at multiple people around the camp, but not before he decided to chuck another one at you. Hitting you in the arm, the cold snow breaking apart into millions of small pieces brushing across your face.

“JOHN MURPHY! IM GONNA KILL YOU” You screamed as you chased after him grabbing snow and loosely throwing it in his direction, not bothering to form snowballs.

“HOLY SHIT THATS COLD” he shockingly yelled as the cold snow you threw his way creeped into the collar of his jacket.

The two of you had started an all out snowball fight war around camp. Everyone began wildly throwing snowballs around hitting each other, while you began to catch up to Murphy eventually gently tackling him and landing on top of him in the cold snow.

“Damn it you caught me” Murphy quietly spoke his warm breath fanning across your cold reddened face as you laid on top of him, your face inches away from his. Everyone else was invisible to you in this moment, everything around you at a stand still as you brought your cold almost purple lips to Murphy’s, the two of you moving your lips together in sync as you kissed all while still laying in the freezing snow.

“I love you a lot, you know” You spoke breathlessly after hesitantly breaking the kiss.

“I do know and I love you a lot too, ya know” Murphy spoke while smiling up at your now blushing face.

“Ok it’s really freezing let’s go back inside and get warmed up with hot chocolate!!” You spoke as you both laughed. You quickly got up off of Murphy who didn’t hesitate to jump up off the cold ground as soon as you did. As you began to walk to the little tent you shared, you felt a strong pair of arms hook under your knees and around your cold frame. You squealed while Murphy ran with you in his arms carrying you bridal style to the tent while you giggled loudly looking up to his smirking face as he spoke. “ya know, i know a better way to warm up”

[flowwriter]

The Oracle of ∇φ

The party headed down a long winding path, already exhausted from the days conquests, and still heavy with the knowledge that they must carry on. The path to the old Soothsayer was so well obscured that one could be obscured for missing it completely, and yet once the dense, lush fern was trodden down a small, yet clearly well-worn path emerged in front of them.

The party had been walking for well over an hour when Farnus, the token human of the group, slouched his aching shoulders and bemoaned “This guy better be fucking legit or I swear to God..’ before tailing off entirely.

The halfling cleric accompanying them, named Zensys, was quick to pull Farnus even closer to the brink of hopelessness ‘Or what Farnus? You’ll miss all your axe swings like you did back in Drittensmith? Don’t think we’ve forgotten.’

Farnus, for the second time in as many minutes, silently enjoyed a vision of himself after he had finished this job. Alone, no-one to bother him, no crazy old voodoo prophets to deal with, no halfling brat to make him question his alignment, pure and utter serenity. This bubble was, unsurprisingly, burst, by Koralath, the Goliath, who after careful consideration selected about one of 10 phrases that he knew in Common to express dissatisfaction. A hearty “This. Sucks. No. Point” bellowed forth from his mighty lungs, each word punctuated by a loud stomp. Before either party member could complain of their subsequent splitting headache, the stillness of the summer air was cut with a loud shriek:

“FUCK!”

The party immediately lost their calm composure and assumed a battle stance. Koralath even managed to process that this wasn’t a time for loud oafishness, progress that Farnus quietly appreciated, as the last time stealthiness was required, Koralath had cost the party quite a lot of HP by loudly asking nobody in particular where the nearest tavern was.

Even more surprisingly, a young tired-looking elf immerged, from seemingly (even to Zensys’ trained eyes) nowhere at all. He was dark-skinned, long-eared and fairly lanky, carrying himself as if he was unfamiliar with his build. His tired, yet sharp and analytical eyes, panned across the general area that the party occupied through his long unkempt hair, which covered an unreasonable portion of his face.

Apparently oblivious to his almost certain demise at one of the most respected parties in all of the North, he suddenly acknowledged the heroes with a start, only to stare at them indignantly, before somehow confidently complaining:

“You’re about 14 seconds late! You –“ He pointed an accusatory finger at Zensys “had the audacity to chat up that barmaid for a few extra seconds this morning didn’t you? She is gay, incidentally, although she doesn’t realise that for three more hours, so it was all wasted anyway.”

This outburst had a markedly different effect on each of the heroes. Koralath’s brain simply chose to reject the information entirely, instead delighting itself with a fantasy of the small elf’s imminent slaughter. Farnus’ brain, if it could have, would have rolled its eyes and done a little finger gun motion towards its head. However, it soon settled back into its familiar groove of assessing the new enemies’ weak spots.

Zensys brain, understand every word perfectly, and was almost convinced its body to run back and confess its undying love to the aforementioned barmaid. It reasoned that it was better than wasting her time galivanting with her companions, one of which was almost bound to double-cross her, as this was the way things generally worked.

Without any regard for the internal journeys each party member was taking, the curious elf continued. “Look, I appreciate the mental taxation that took on you, but if we take more than about a minute and a half here I can’t reasonably apply the Central Limit Theorem anymore and if that happens I think I’m gonna scream’

This was the final straw for both Farnus and Koralath, who simueltaneously drew their weapons, falling back on their most basic warrior instincts. The young elf began to leisurely flip through a small, tattered notebook retrieved from a concealed pocket. Koralath’s brain, having first began what can only be described as a blue screen, swang wildly at the elf’s head.

Unfazed, the elf stayed stationary. Koralath’s swing, almost in spite, careened a wild path through the air before cratering a mere two inches from the elfs side. Apparently, untroubled, the elf continued:

“NO, sorry, you were twe- ELEVEN seconds late. You don’t add a constant when integrating I through that first order differentiation product rule trick do you? Im ever so sorry. Would you like to come in? NO” He hastily scribbled through several lines of illegible symbols on the notebook. “TEN and a half MAX. And also it…” Another scribbling “doesn’t matter whether you want to or not, you WILL follow me in about three or four seconds regardless”.

The party, all now suffering terrible headaches, did indeed follow suit. Single file, they mopily trundled through the dense underbrush towards a hut which, although commonsense told them it was purposely built, seemed almost accidentally put together.

The confusing elf had left the door open behind him, and the party followed suit.

What they saw before them almost turned their stomachs. Hundreds of pages of scrawled writing coated each wall. A large, dark, once proud desk lay sunken into the ground. Piles of textbooks surrounded its border, and the party’s only clue to the huts inhabitants was a sliver of brown hair peaking over the top of them all.

Indeed, the elvish oracle was sat in a ornate, yet tattered armchair in almost the direct centre of the room. Although none of the party would here, he muttered ‘Told you’ under his breath before rising.

“MATHEMATICS!” He exclaimed. None of the party had an idea what he meant. Koralath added ‘kill goblin named ‘mathematics’??” to his mental to-do list.

The elf, wide eyed and clearly finished waiting for any intellectual input from the bewildered adventurers, continued.

“You see, all these oracles and soothsayers trying to predict the future with runes and smoke and ritualistic sacrifices –“ Farnus’ perked up, ritualistic sacrifices was his weekend hobby, “all rot! Its nothing more than taking an integral over all space and then all – sorry DOUBLE integral – and then all time. Because you know d-t and d-S is just a function of...yeah… And then, that’s an axiom! Well, its, I mean not really but I’m the only one doing – yeah, doing this. So its an axiom, anyway yeah this horrible function comes out, but its like, that’s why I can’t, and No-one can predict exactly. In fact, we, well I only found analytical solutions like a few weeks ago, but, even then its not elementary and-‘.

Beyond this point, no living being, apart from the elf himself, registered the specifics of his diatribe, and as such the rest was lost to history.  Zensys was the first to awake from the spell of the elves’ rhythmically pulsing speech, and found her emotions turn to anger.

“Look, you incel little bitch, can you help us out or not-“

The elf, taking Zensys’ words very slightly to late to feign that he was at all paying attention to anyone but himself, again perked up.

“Oh yes, of course, just let me uh…’ and so he took away to the grand battered arm chair, made a wide sweep with his arm to remove what almost seemed like important documents from his table, and began frantically scratching a weather quill across a piece of hard flaky parchment.

If the adventurers had hoped that this moment would hold them in great and suspenseful intimidation, they would have been disappointed. Not for the lack of expertise by the elf, but by his constant muttering and exclaiming, as well as his seemingly incessant need for someone to tell him how smart he was, as evidenced by his constant glancing to the three heroes for even the slightest validation.

About 10 scrawled, illegible pages of random symbols (3 of which had been crumpled up and thrown to the floor in anger), the soothsayer began to grunt ever so more excitedly, until at a sudden burst he sprang forth from his well defined groove in his ancient seat.

“OK, so whom now the rolling dunes may cover, he shall be your saviour and ours forevermore, well for an arbitrarily long period of time, I just took the limit from an arbitrary direction. And those who were quelled under something which calls itself the ‘Lost Great One’” He took just a moment to assess the relative not-greatness of his visitors. “Yeah, good luck with that one guys, will rise at least a whole multiple of twice more before the end of days. Oh but OH! You will succeed, yeah the second derivative is positive, so you will reach a global maximum here.” He seemed, unsurprisingly to at least Farnus, amazed at his own derivation. He added an extra layer of insufferability by adding “Gotta say guys, it usually doesn’t work out this well, and I do this all the time.”

Farnus, having counted to 10 at least 3 times since the start of the second painful diatribe spoken by the elf who was looking easier and easier to kill by the second, quickly interjected “yes, yes, wonderful thankyou so much, oh brainy one. We’ll be on our way now”

The elf, seemingly impervious to registering the feelings of others, mentioned to the backs of the party members “Oh don’t forget to drop by again soon!”

But as soon as the rickety door closed behind the large frame of Koralath, he realised that a simple derivation would prove that they wouldn’t. Which was a shame, he soon realised, as not even a second after his heel had turned to begin a well deserved afternoon nap in the comfortable armchair, he realised that “Oh shit, the second derivative is positive which means it’s a global minimum, so well they’re doomed to, oh” – all of which was muttered out loud too. It was, he consoled himself with, going to be an interesting adventure.

[survivorpacificislandallstars]

Ep. 7 - “We're putting our fate in the hands of Jordan Pines” - Kevin

See, I don't exactly know why people think they can not have a conversation with anyone and get off scot free. *Me, who hasn't started conversation with two of my tribemates* Like what the fuck, I don't understand how multiple people in the game so far have thought they can not hold a conversation with anyone and not be voted out? If you don't want to leave, talk to me. Sam did it and now she's fine. I love Gabby, I love Jordan, I love Madison But DAMN you guys need to talk or shit's gonna get thrown your way for being inactive. I get it. I hate talking to people too. *Has been avoiding Steffen and Billy* But you gotta hold conversation if you wanna keep your torch lit. That might work at merge but if you can't challenge beast your way there at least hold a conversation. It might save you.

Omg I just found out a merry go round idol exists and I'm screaming because if sam b replaced me that means I WOULD'VE GOTTEN IT AGAIN. Sam is a true queen because instead of having to play the idol she was able to get the votes turned around. Though I'm really annoyed because voting sam is way smarter than voting out gabby. Someone said it best...gabby is inactive...this is all stars and you have to get out strong players before they get you out. Also I'm really annoyed with mitch because he got the rakiura idol clue (made easier by monty actually /saying/ how the initial thing worked) and it's even easier to find than the izu one!! Even if it's not for his beach, by putting another survivor he would find the page eventually!! Ugh so frustrating. Stevie may or may not be getting closer to figuring things out because he was asking me about what the old rakiura page was. Goooo stevie! 

PUNPUN HAD A BLEEPING IDOL IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. it all makes sense as to why they didnt want to vote brandon just in case, but honslee im glad i did bc if ashley played smth then it wouldve been 0-0 and i dont want to mess with anymore tie votes.anyway! this tribal worked out perfectly and hopefully we can win some immunities bc itll be tough voting out anyone in this game. im just prayin that sammy is safe on the other side or else my f2 is dead :/

me:*prayin that sam will stay* me:*shouldve been praying for gabs to stay* honslee? i cant wait to get revenge for gabs!! >:~)

Conf #15: Honeslee This tribal went so well. People dont expect Stevie and i are working together (And I was the one who suggested voting Gabriel so I mean im not saying I ran that vote but im not not saying I ran that vote) I dont see me or Stevie going on this tribe and With that said HOPEFULLY there isnt a tribe swap soon

I DID IT. I SUCCESSFULLY GOT JORDAN PINES TO THINK HE HAD ME IN HIS BAG OF MINIONS. OH FRAPJOUS DAY! CALOOH CALLAY!

tribe swap deliberation is going amazing as van basically let me set it up exactly how its beneficial to me. Cause i have them thinking that their tribe of nunuwhetu is like a strong tribe which keeps them safe. And honestly i’m hoping van makes it through cause i like van a lot. But i am sure some triple tribal or something will be coming and all it means is one of those strong players is going home, and i set up each other tribe so that either by the grace of random.org or by the positioning of people from whetu i can be safe with strong allies and like easy vote offs. This could not have went better

Okay I don't know how much I like working with Chrissa, she's very all over the place. She's basically pushing Kevin then a few people say they'd rather Brandon and then it's just like "okay I voted Brandon!" Like damn girl wait until we have a decision before just saying "okay I voted" I'm pretty sure she did that with the Ashley vote too. Anyways apparently there's gunna be ANOTHER swap next round which I'm kind of excited for because then it's Burma and I loved Burma and it's the reason I'm here so yay for Burma! Speaking of that, I'm sad Ricky isn't here so we could just use my host chat from that as an alliance chat. That's a lot shorter than I thought it was, I feel like I have more to say but I've been sick all week and I can't think so that's it for now I guess Also drew has informed me that he's not going to start caring about this game until final 14 so I mean maybe that's why he's just been very whatever about talking about game or anything but I don't know. I really wanna work with him but I'm not gunna wait until 14 to start doing anything dbskdbdk

Oh yeah and I don't think that Jordan wants to vote Brandon so this will be interesting

Well yknow I was hoping today would be today I could make Andrew proud and vote out Gage, but I guess God hates me because I sure fucking thought. Just when I mention the thought of voting out Gage to one person, that person being Drew, because Gage is sneaky and I can't trust him after the Rhea vote, some asshole decides to ruin an innocent 12 year olds hopes and dreams!!! And if you ask me, folks, that's just messed up. But good news!!! Other targets include Brandon and Chrissa. I told Brandon that both of us were being targeted and that we need to work together, and this was like a half lie and half truth bc at the time I was bsing just to get him on my side but then like five seconds later I found out he actually was being targeted. But um yeah. So far it looks like we have five votes for Chrissa which if you ask me is very festive: Punpun Karen Drew and Brandon, all icons unless they flip on me then they can choke. But I just need one more vote!!! Don't know who the fuck that would be but!!! We'll have to find them someday

PUN PUN IS SO DONE! i swear to fucking god they ask me about the vote then go against me claiming they love me and are with me! I was for punpun! i made sure they were safe, FUCK YOU PUNPUN thanks a fucking lot.

Well this season is gonna suck if Brandon goes he's like the one person to reach out to me!!!!!!!! I know God hates me but he doesn't have to stoop to this low of a level. SUPPOSEDLY we somehow have Gage of all people on our side, I mean I don't know if I support it but like, if it isn't me... I've heard Brandon's name a lot but like!!!! I both want to be in the game while also being a person with morals who values friendships but I guess these people severely disagree

Honesty the fact that we're putting our fate in the hands of Jordan Pines is appalling and sad, cause we're really just playing ourselves as well as adding to his ego. But um... I think we've convinced him??? But things are so uncertain and I can't rn

I am so fucking pissed off, first of all I just said Brandon was being voted but before that I was fighting to get the votes for someone else out that is not brandon, but news flash PUN PUN AND KAREN: I AM NOT IN CONTROL OF THIS VOTE! If Brandon wants to be fucking safe he needs to pm people which he doesn't do obviously as that's the reason everyone has went for him. Ash was right he gets far because of all of his little SHEEPLE. Have fun being up Brandon's ass when he is voted out!

If Brandon leaves tonight I will finally feel vindicated

Why the fuck does everyone want to vote my friends out

You know why I hate Rakiura? Because of the merry go round idols. You know what Jeff Probst just deep throated me with? A little green man that is collectively known as the merry go round idol. Ughhhhhhhh I want to be iconic with it and just blow up everyone's plans but it's too early to be doing stuff like that, especially with the overwhelming amount of tribe swaps we have had and will come in the future. Right now the vote is between Brandon and Chrissa and I'm voting brandon just because I see Chrissa being more loyal to me down the road (once I blindside Samantha G AKA Godmantha) I'm not playing the idol unless something happens at tribal, and odds are I'll probably give it to ash. Also I found out Karen has a sapphire idol. Hopefully she gets blindsided with it in her pocket like Jordan in Izu.

I guess I was wrong, Jordan does wanna vote for Brandon so that's good but now it's gunna be 7-4 Brandon to Chrissa possibly? Hopefully none of them 4 have that stupid merry go round idol but who knows they probably do. At least it's Chrissa and not me.

so i am probably getting voted out people are scared to go against the majority premades rule the game what else is new