#ALSO I don’t think the divorce storyline is necessarily related to them but if it is I could see this

[rosyhoneydew]

Hmm what about if we see buck talking to tommy about their call to the man getting a divorce at which point tommy explains about how his parents got divorced and he struggled with it quite a bit and so he has no plans to ever get married?? Seems spiral-worthy to me and something that could lead to deeper conversations in their relationship

[americangirlstar]

Now that both Courtney books are out and I’ve read and processed them both, I do want to say that I think they’re the least well-written of any of the AG books, but not through any fault of their own- let me explain.

(Note that for this discussion I’m ignoring the Doylist criticisms- Courtney and 3/4 of her friend group being white again, the lack of gay discussion in-text in regards to the HIV crisis, etc. These are valid complaints and concerns, but not what we’re talking about right now.)

The Problem with the Current Book Length

I think the main problem with Courtney stems from the fact her books are so short. American Girl has literally been doing the stupidest things in regards to their books lately, almost as if they’re trying to sabotage them on purpose. First they remove illustrations in 2015- when their target audience is about nine years old. I don’t know about you, but when I was six and getting into American Girl, the illustrations were the highlight for me. Not because I had no attention span and loved pretty pictures, but because it showed me firstly what the girl’s life was like, whether it be 1760s wilderness or 2001 Chicago. It was like stepping into their world, really helping you get into their heads, which was basically what the dolls were supposed to do, to let you know that girls like you exist throughout time and space.

As well as that, the illustrations were free advertisement. I can’t tell you how excited me and my sisters were as children to go to the American Girl place and look at the doll displays, shouting that that’s the dress Felicity wears to the ball! or look, Josefina’s goat looks exactly like the book! AG cut that from 2015 to 2020, as if they were trying to appeal to an older audience- while at the same time changing all the doll outfits, accessories and marketing to appeal to a younger demographic.

Now, this isn’t about the illustrations, as Courtney got those- it’s about what they did to the historical characters after the Illustration Outrage™ happened. See, they’d condensed the historical six-book format into two books- not necessarily a bad idea, parents would be more likely to buy two books for their kid than consider buying six. However, they then claimed that if they put illustrations back, they would have to abridge the books- literally my nightmare.

First of all, American Girl, we know for a fact you can fit all six books plus illustrations into ONE VOLUME, let alone two. You’re just being cowards here and trying to nerf your own stories for... some reason.

So that meant a lot of important things got cut- Rebecca’s Chanukah story, Melody’s cousin’s house search, Maryellen’s Christmas adventure... all things important to the girls’ histories and character.

The Problem with Courtney’s Writing

Now, Courtney was the first doll to be released after the abridging began, meaning her books were released, in their entirety, just as short as the abridged stories. So it basically means she gets four books while the others get six- and unlike the others, Courtney doesn’t even have mysteries or short stories to pad out. (And honestly, looking at her book’s amount of content, I’d even argue that she basically got two while everyone else got six, but I digress.)

The problem with her books isn’t that they have an author writing them poorly (I really feel like her author was doing the best with what limited time she had), but in how cramped American Girl made them. Because, well, Courtney has to deal with a lot in such a short amount of words.

Let’s compare her to Julie, for instance- Julie pretty much has a new 70s thing every book. In order: feminism, rising divorce rates, San Francisco’s Chinese culture, environmentalism, the country’s bicentennial, anti-bullying and deaf acceptance. And adding to this, we also have her own personal journies through her parents’ divorce and move, her basketball team, her friendship with Ivy (and later Joy), overcoming her fear of horses, student council, detention... It’s a lot, and yet her books don’t feel rushed or forced at all. It’s just a year in the life of a girl going through a lot of new and sudden events, and how she grows and changes throughout them. She may not be as deep a character as Addy or Kirsten, but not every girl goes through the trials and tribulations they do, and it’s a good series overall.

Courtney, meanwhile, does feel rushed and forced, because of the short timespan. Instead of fitting everything into a six-book format- or even at two-book format that is the same length and content as the six-book- everything has to be fit into two short books.   Everything Courtney has to cover includes the topics of divorce and stepfamilies, feminist and technological advancement, the Challenger explosion, the HIV crisis, Hands Across America, and the founding of Pleasant Company. And in Courtney’s own journey, she has to cover her learning to stand up for herself, her relationship with her stepsister and Tina’s own character development, her mother running for mayor and how that affects her, how much she misses her Dad after he moves, her friendship with Sarah (note on that later), her basically getting hate-crimed after standing up for her friend... that’s a LOT of stuff, and I didn’t even include the non-AG 80s product placement they shove into her collection.

But without the longer format, everything is pushed together to its detriment. Tina’s development and Maureen’s mayoral candidacy are two plotlines that are literally dropped and almost completely ignored in the second book. The Challenger and HIV issues were handled decently, but the Challenger only lasted a few short chapters, and the HIV topic was not as informative as it could be, leaving out several things like Reagan’s refusal to treat it for so long, and its effect on the gay community. Honestly, the HIV scare was more shifted to focus on the mob mentality of a new and scary disease- which, while needed right now, also ignores many of the bigotry-related reasons it became an epidemic. Pleasant Company’s inclusion feels forced in, and I think was the only resolution she had to her Dad plotline?

And don’t get me started on the Sarah plotline- every Girl of the Year since Kanani- sans Isabelle and Luci- has had the story of “oh no I’ve been ignoring my friend and now they’re mad at me :(” and it’s SO old. Seriously, I counted the contemporary dolls that have had that storyline, and it’s thirteen*. Thirteen times we’ve covered this issue- almost all of it in quick succession- and now we have to deal with it in a historical character book while much more important things are going on! Yes, it sucks when a friend ditches you while you’re being attacked and bullied for something you’re standing up for, but once again, with how much is happening in such a short book, it just feels like a forced-in plotline that we’ve seen a billion times, and with their falling-out happening mainly due to the attention Courtney was given Isaac, it serves to make Sarah seem closed-minded at best and bigoted at worst- it’s clarified that she’s not, she’s just scared and upset with Courtney, but when you put those events so close together, it leads the reader to lump them together and get the impression that, you know, Sarah is a worse person than she is.

*Full count: Nicki (book 2), Chrissa (book 2), Kanani (2), McKenna (1 iirc?), Saige (both books), Grace (2), Lea (3), Gabriela (1 and 3), Tenney (2), Z (1), Blaire (1), Joss (1) and Kira (1).

It’s a bit weird, too, that Courtney’s... what’s the word? Vibe? with her how her story is written and marketed Is closer to the Contemporaries than the Historicals. Am I the only one feeling this? My best explanation for it is that the author, Kellen Hertz, had only written contemporary books for American Girl before- the third Lea Clark book and all four Tenney Grant books, both of which contained the Friendship Issues™ plot. I’m not at all saying she’s a bad author- I honestly love the way the Tenney books are written- and I’m not saying she couldn’t write a historical book, but it’s clear American Girl didn’t ask her to change up her style or content from what she’d done for them before, as well as giving her way too much to cover in such short books.

Conclusion

Honestly, this conclusion should be obvious- American Girl needs to expand their books again. Whether they simply allow the books to be unabridged, or go back to the six-book format, Courtney's books are too cramped to tell an effective story, let alone the poor abridged girls.

The other girls were given six-book length, so if they went back to that length or format, Courtney would have to be rewritten, at least a little- and that’s okay! There’s a lot of things that could use expansion or connection, such as her Summer trip with her Dad that was given basically one sentence in the text. Her growth with her stepfamily could be acknowledged- and honestly? I think that if these books were expanded, her mother’s mayoral arc should either continue through the books, or Maureen should become mayor before the book 2 arc. I’ve mentioned this before, but having Maureen as mayor (or even still a candidate) would put a lot of pressure on Courtney to be perfect so that nobody can say “look at how awful this woman is for doing politics instead of raising her family right”- which means that when the Isaac stuff happens, it has even more stakes for Courtney and her family. Does her Mom still support her with her own reputation on the line, and what does that say about Maureen’s character, how does it affect Courtney and the D’Amicos... that’s all fascinating stuff that was completely missed out on.

And if she was turned into a six-book format- honestly, here’s how I’d do it, just off the top of my head. It would involve a bit of event shuffling, but honestly I think it would work!

Meet Courtney - pretty much the setup for everything happening, her starting to get her Crystal Starshooter plans and her mom’s campaign beginning.

Courtney Learns a Lesson - her relationship to Tina, culminating in the Challenger incident.

Courtney’s Surprise - we move the founding of Pleasant Company over here, since Molly’s basically her Christmas Present. We’ll probably need an additional plotline- maybe similar to Julie, she can have a story on spending the holidays in different places.

Happy Birthday Courtney - end of summer, aka meeting Isaac and her trip with her Dad.

Courtney Saves the Day - Beginning of the HIV arc, ending at her presentation to her class.

Changes for Courtney - Continuation of the HIV arc as things get worse for her and Isaac, ending where Friendship Superhero ends.

Is that a perfect sorting? Probably not, I came up with it in ten minutes. But would it give Courtney space to breathe and more time to explore everything happening to her? Probably!

The tl;dr of this is honestly that American Girl are absolute cowards right now, and need to expand their books back. Their abridging is only harming their stories- which, as Courtney herself points out, are the reason girls got into their company in the first place.

[dastardlydandelion]

big ol’ borderline stream of consciousness ramble abt the karate soap opera

for awhile i couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was that *rly* bothered me abt ck s4 and now by george, i think i’ve got it. ck s4 is the show i had expected cobra kai to be when i first came across it: flashy nostalgia bait centering style over substance.

and there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that. i think errbody has their own brand of preferred schlock, whether that be cheesy romcoms, goofy b-horror, slapstick comedy, etc. but the thing abt cobra kai is that it began (imo, anyway) better than it had to be to get an audience and now it’s...not.

more rambling under the cut:

i don’t want to be all negative. actually it’s kinda hard to reconcile my mixed feelings abt s4 bc like, the things that i did like?? i REALLY liked! and i’m gonna lead with what i liked rn so i don’t sound like some stabby crabby cranky pants. 🦀🔪

i greatly enjoyed the subplot with amanda and tory. i am so relieved the show finally acknowledged just how much strain tory is under being a teenage girl with head of household responsibilities struggling against poverty in one of the most expensive places to live in the usa. i love that amanda had this huge change of heart when she realized just how much tory was dealing with, that she went from wanting to put her in jail to offering her hand.

i actually thought it was well-written too. amanda doesn’t let tory off the hook for breaking into her house and terrorizing her daughter, she still calls her out on that, but she also realizes the depth of the factors motivating that behavior. she realizes outright charity (buying tory the groceries) is NOT the way to go with tory, so she changes tactics. amanda tells tory the help is there if she needs it, offering her support but putting the ball in tory’s court. this is good for tory, it respects her agency (she clearly has a lot of pride, pained pride tho it is, wrapped up in her status as provider/caregiver) and also challenges her, in a way, to have to be the one responsible for her choice to reach out.

i appreciated amanda having smth to do outside of being daniel’s wife or sam’s mom. i liked the insight into the backstory that she shared with daniel, that she relates to tory’s very helpless kind of anger bc she too lashed out when she was young and angry to no avail. amanda smashing up her tutor’s car didn’t change the outcome with of her parents’ divorce. tory can hurt sam all she wants, and it won’t make her circumstances any less unfair. 

ik there were some complaints that this storyline was more tellling-than-showing but on this point, i’m personally satisfied. i’m fine with having amanda encourage tory to get therapy but not actually seeing tory in the therapist’s office bc imho, the impact was shown. we see tory change as a character. she becomes determined to win the avt to prove she can rather than any desire to maim someone, and she genuinely wanted to win it fairly. the tory of s2 and s3 wouldn’t have hesitated to elbow sam in the face on purpose, and she definitely wouldn’t have cared abt sam's welfare after the match.

on that note, i actually liked the way tory and sam’s rivalry was depicted, for the most part? ngl i’m not a big fan that the tory/robby romance actually happened. i can admit i’m biased on that point bc i don’t particularly care for romance in general and i’m irritated that for female characters in media specifically it feels like there always *has* to be an obligatory hetero romance, that male writers don’t know what to do with female characters if they aren’t prioritizing males or being with males, this idea that girls and women are supposed to care abt romance, that romance *must* be important for them, that their stories *must* include it, etc...but then it also, just. for me it feels cheap to keep pairing tory off with sam’s exes. as if that’s somehow necessary to stoke the coals between them. 🙄

but having said that, the tory/robby thing wasn’t nearly as obnoxious as i expected it to be. it wasn’t rushed. it wasn’t the driving force behind sam and tory’s tension. tory wasn’t reduced to arm candy in this scenario, like i worried she was going to be, she still had a story and development outside of him.

i’ve seen some ppl unhappy with sam’s behavior toward tory this season and declaring it ooc but tbh i understand it. does that make it okay? fuck no. but does it make sense for sam? uh, yeah?

tory left scars in her arm. the s3 finale had tory not only breaking into her home but attacking sam when she was on the floor, non-combative, visibly terrified. sam’s never tried to understand tory as a person so she just views her as this raging obstacle she needs to overcome. sam doesn’t truly understand that tory is in pain so she doesn’t have any sympathy for her. because of her privilege, sam doesn’t understand why tory NEEDS her job. sam doesn’t comprehend the potential consequences of tory losing her job, therefore she has no issue instigating conflict with her while she’s on the clock. from sam’s pov, tory is hardly a person, just this horrible thing that happened to her, so she has no problem treating her like that-- just some horrible thing. and as awful as that all is, it makes sense for sam!!

i don’t hate her for it, while i don’t approve of her behavior, i 100% understand where it’s coming from. sam hates tory and johnny’s influence-- with his encouraging sam’s aggression this season --emboldened her to strike first. and i actually enjoyed the way the final fight went between sam and tory. 

sam was genuinely shocked (and from her pov, ofc she was) that tory asked if she was okay after the match. i’m hoping this might lead to them mending fences come s5, altho i don’t ever expect them to be besties.

uh...am i getting off topic? where was i?

oh, the parts that i liked. yeah! yeah, actually, i was happily surprised by the route tory and sam’s rivalry went this season and while i wasn’t thrilled with the tory/robby romance, i was relieved it didn’t drive that rivalry or eclipse tory as a character.

i wish i could say i liked sam’s solo development as much as tory’s, bc i did like the beats of it. on paper i could enjoy that sam’s development was a rocky one with some of her being a big jerk as she learns (under johnny’s tutelage) to nourish her aggression and eventually comes to the conclusion that she doesn’t have to fight exactly the way her dad does, but. the execution of that development left much to be desired bc of some of this season’s more obnoxious flaws, but right now i’m rambling abt what i did like, so that brings us to...

kenny payne!!!

omfg, i love him sm. he instantly became one of my faves. i would kill anthony larusso for this precious dorky sunbeam. ik some ppl were frustrated with the introduction of new characters this season and the focus it took away from the main characters. and that’s fair. but imo the subplot with kenny suited the overreaching themes of ck. and he’s so much fun as a character. i love that he’s shawn’s brother! i love that we got to see shawn again even tho it was only for like, ten seconds. robby also going into big brother mode for kenny was so cute? 

as a horror fan, i freaking loved that kenny went into g-rated slasher mode in that library. strategically separating his bullies and taking them down one by one by utilizing his environment and popping outta the shadows?? that was so fun.

i adore kenny, that was great, my second fave storyline after the amanda + tory storyline.

what other storylines did i like?

um, ykw, i actually appreciated miguel’s. i think i’m in the minority on that one, at least as far as the engaged fandom goes. but i did. i liked watching him expand his skillset training with daniel. i felt his and daniel’s bonding was sweet and genuine. i’m not hugely surprised johnny began to let him down, nor what that accumulated in. xolo’s a phenomenal actor, i think scenes that easily could’ve been stupid (the fish scene comes to mind) or sappy (episode 8 comes to mind) never actually crossed that line bc the guy gives such a good performance.

i actually thought miggy’s struggles, while quieter and less dynamic than the karate war, were thoughtfully depicted and some of the better writing this season. he feels awkward having dinner with his gf’s rich family, at their fancy encino place. he doesn’t come from money and doesn’t have the security of college guaranteed the way she does. he loves johnny and he wants his mom to be happy so he doesn’t outright object to them dating even though he’s dubious abt the changes this will undoubtedly introduce into his life. he’s still grappling in the aftermath of a serious injury and while it’s not addressed as much as it should be, granted, we do see it impacting his behavior.

miguel tricking cobra kai into going to the baseball diamond to get sprayed with sprinklers in lieu of having a brawl, wasn’t just prompted by his taking daniel’s teachings to heart. it’s also bc he’s intimately aware of how bad a fight can get when there are no mats to fall on, no ref there to step in. more than anyone, miguel understands that all it takes is *one* poorly timed kick to result in grave consequences.

ik there’s much disappointment surrounding miggy choosing to opt out of the avt and even more ppl rolling their eyes at his sudden soapy departure to find his long lost dad but tbvh, i don’t think it’s bad storytelling in context. i think he made the right choice for himself opting out the fight, prioritizing his health despite the pressure johnny was putting on him to get back in there. i think miguel realized he was being used, it made him feel like shit, and he said, ‘no, not today.’ taking off outta the country to go find his dad is defo a soap opera move but rly, errything he wrote in his letter makes sense and a dramatic exit is hardly the wildest thing that’s ever happened on ck...

is there anything else that i liked??

ik i’m getting kinda off topic bc i started this with the realization of what it was that bothered me so much abt s4, but like i said, i didn’t want to be totally negative. bc there were defo things i enjoyed abt s4 and i didn’t hate it...but ig i’ve said all the positive things i had to say, so. 😔

let’s get my first big disappointment outta the way. and a lot of this is more subjective on my part (albeit, i’ll work my way to the more objective stuff), but. here we are.

MARKETING TEAM OVER-HYPED TF OUTTA TERRY SILVER.

i waited months for this psychotic, cartoonishly evil motherfucker and that was all i got??

ahjgsajhgfjhgfhjgf. the trailer! they released that dramatic af trailer where terry just stands there, back to the screen, with his monologue from tkk3 playing as he menacingly cracks his neck. at the end of the trailer, the threat right there in the font boasts, “now the real pain begins.”

what a fucking crock!!! you assholes!! false advertisement! false advertisement i say, false advertisement, there was no pain for anyone but stingray and it didn’t even happen until the end of the season!

okay, okay, this is defo more subjective on my part but u guys see where i’m at, right? the team leaned so hard into marketing terry’s return but come s4 he didn’t rly do all that much until the end. it was a letdown.

but there were things that bothered me abt terry’s return, not just as a viewer let down by my own personal expectations, but from a writing standpoint.

uh. mm. they’re. they’re doing the kreese redemption arc. jfc, they’re rly gonna do it. they’re setting it up. the most they used terry this season was to help set it up. 🤢

i am not the first person to point this out. there are plenty of fans who have already pointed this out. there are plenty of fans who have already eloquently and thoroughly delved into why 1) a kreese redemption arc is not a great idea to begin with and 2) the how and now of it makes it worse. so i’m not going to rant a whole lot abt it, but i will summarize some of my thoughts on it.

personally? i think it’s a betrayal to the karate kid franchise to have a redemption arc for kreese at all. i didn’t mind s2 fleshing out a bit more of his personality since he was so one-dimensional in the karate kid movies. and i didn’t even mind making him a tad sympathetic bc even pos ppl can fall on hard times and it’s human nature to empathize, but. i think it’s important that kreese was the character that he was: a militant, merciless, manipulative macho-man bully who molded students to create violent conflict bc that’s what he knew and what he liked. he was supposed to be that foil to mr. miyagi, a protective, kind, nurturing handyman who kept his medals hidden and stowed away bc war was the worst part of his life. 

the means in which they’re setting up the redemption arc for kreese that shouldn’t be happening are nonsensical and just plain repetitive. in order to set up that redemption, not only have we effectively retconned who kreese was supposed to be in the movies, but we’ve retconned the dynamics of his and terry’s relationship. not once in tkk3 did kreese ever hold vietnam over terry’s head. terry was the one who invited him in, terry was the one who brought up kreese saving him in the war, and bringing it up didn’t bother terry a bit.

i don’t rly mind that in ck s4 we get the reveal that terry was all coked up throughout tkk3. i mean. it was the 80s. and it would defo explain his, uh, energy, lmao. no, the part that i mind is that, like...ck is trying to pin all of terry’s insane behavior on the cocaine. bruh. no. i’m sorry, but no, lmfao. plenty of ppl snort blow without dumping toxic waste in borneo and strategically preying upon teenage boys to force them into karate tournaments.

...tkk3 sure was a trip, huh?

uh, shit, am i getting off track again? no, no, i got it. okay, so in s2 kreese is the big bad behind cobra kai. johnny is misguided and flawed, but well-intentioned, and kreese keeps encouraging increasingly aggressive and violent behavior in the cobra kai kids. johnny is weak for kreese bc at the end of the day, he loves him, and there are the lingering power dynamics between them, johnny having spent his formative yrs as kreese’s pupil and looking up to kreese as a father figure as well as mentor. s2 ends in kreese stealing the dojo out from under johnny.

in s4, terry re-joins cobra kai. he is shown being the big bad behind kreese, who is bad but not as good at it as terry, psychologically intimidating daniel in one of the few scenes we get where their dynamic is explicitly acknowledged, nearly attacking a bratty robby at the avt, bribing the ref at the avt, and beating a guy half to death. s4 ends in terry stealing the dojo out from under kreese.

it’s the same story!! literally. this happened before. what should i expect in the s5 finale, mike barnes to come back to be the bigger bad behind terry and steal the dojo from terry? is that gonna be the s5 finale?

and speaking of finales, the gravity of the s3 finale is never grappled with in s4 and that is just terrible writing, honestly. kreese tried to KILL johnny. like, he srsly tried to KILL him and we aren’t talking abt that, bc???

uh? idfk! that was pretty important, u figure we would’ve addressed that and yet, no??

it is beyond me that it was just swept under the rug so casually. attempted murder is serious? u shouldn’t bring something like that into ur story if ur not willing to write the ramifications. why was that even in the s3 if it was smth that was never going to be brought up again, let alone dealt with? it makes kreese’s poorly set up redemption arc which shouldn’t be happening feel like an afterthought as well as a betrayal of the source material. like, kreese almost killing johnny in the s3 finale was smth they’re trying to walk back for the purpose of setting the foundation for this redemption no one wanted. 

speaking of johnny, why is he getting stupider? ik he was always kinda dumb, but jfc. is it the accumulation of concussions or smth??

or it’s not just johnny, ig, it’s like, this season felt so extrodinarily stupid in so many ways?

i’m not gonna pretend this show was ever an intellectual masterpiece, but good lord. this season they’re actually acting like cobra kai/eagle fang students and miyagi-do students only learn offense and defensive respectively? we’re pretending that johnny doesn’t know how to block and daniel never taught strikes??

that was so fucking stupid, watching it felt like getting my own concussion. once again, other fans have already pointed this out and delved into it more thoroughly than i will now. but i’m going to touch on it anyway because this was such a low point in the show that i simply cannot revisit s4 without addressing it.

KARATE IS KARATE. and yeah, for sure, there are different ways to approach a match utilizing offense/defense, more aggressive and less aggressive styles, but. it’s not like one dojo exclusively practiced offensive moves and the other exclusively practiced defense. for fuck’s sake, the very first thing daniel ever taught robby was how to throw a proper punch!!

speaking of daniel and robby, what happened to that relationship? it practically dissolved into thin air and that’s disappointing, to say the least. daniel used to care abt this kid so much he trained him, took him in, paid for his mother’s rehab, teamed up with someone he loathed to find him when he went on the run, but this season, he didn’t even try for him? daniel had exactly one meaningful interaction with robby where he warned him abt terry and that was it?

idk. it feels wrong to me. actually, i’m frustrated that ck just breezed over errything that transpired in tkk3. daniel was stalked, manipulated, and terrorized by terry for months. his relationship with mr. miyagi suffered for it and he became someone he didn’t want to be, and that’s important bc all of it informs how he responds to terry. and yet. viewers who have only seen ck are never privy to that context, bc besides the *brief* conversation with robby, none of that is ever addressed at all. ur audience should understand the motivations of ur main characters. by failing to address any of this, it sucks the context out of daniel’s behavior.

and i’m all the more frustrated having read some of the writers’ commentary abt the one scene where terry was “apologizing,” to daniel bc, uh. according to these asshats writers daniel’s refusal to accept this half-baked apology from terry is somehow a mistake on his part, yet also the the trigger for terry’s intensified hostility. i’m not even joking, they’re framing daniel as being at fault for not accepting this “apology” even tho it rly wasn’t an earnest apology IF it set terry off. which they also said in the same breath. i’m??

that’s. that’s fucked up. i don’t know else to put it.

what’s also fucked up is that yes, according to the writers, daniel scaring anthony into submission was meant to be portrayed as a good thing. it was meant to portray daniel accepting johnny’s aggressive approach to problems as a good thing. daniel silencing his son and breaking his ipad to scare him into obedience is supposed to be appreciated by us viewers. 

this is not only a frightening, but frankly baffling choice to me. portraying a parent achieving the desired outcome thru violent behavior (breaking things is violence, breaking things is a coercive tactic meant to intimidate and instill fear, always) is bad enough, but for this to be a scene meant to demonstrate daniel embracing johnny’s approach? in the context of parenting??

WTAF. BBY!ROBBY ONLY KNEW JOHNNY EXISTED BC OF A FUCKING VHS TAPE. JOHNNY IS THE FURTHEST THING FROM A GOOD PARENT.

the more i think abt it, the more this scene bothers me. it’s nonsensical bc johnny is a shit parent and daniel should not be modeling his behavior when it comes to fatherhood. and that we’re meant to take away satisfaction from this scene-- from a parent intimidating their child into obedience thru a display of violence --makes me so uncomfortable. and that it’s daniel?? well this just...is it dramatic to say it breaks my heart?

because it kind of does. 😢

cobra kai has steadily been erasing daniel’s gentleness or outright mocking it and i hate it so much. in season 3, they chose to cut out the scenes of daniel worrying abt robby and daniel dancing with kumiko. they’re good scenes! they’re important scenes! how could they cut that?

daniel was a beloved character in the karate kid bc of his gentleness. bc he gave an old dog a bowl of water in the summer heat. bc he was sweet to ali and covered his bruises just to spare his mother stress. bc he tended to bonsai trees and put his drunken sensei to bed on a bad night, gingerly tucked him in.

even in earlier seasons of ck where he’s defo grown up to be smth of a prick and a class traitor, daniel’s gentleness is why viewers sympathized with him in spite of it. he took a troubled kid under his wing with sensitivity and good humor, imparted the most important lessons he himself was ever taught. didn’t push robby to finish in the 2018 avt when he was injured (like johnny just did to miggy), told robby it was okay to bow out, encouraged him to let go of his anger toward johnny. we had flashbacks of daniel and bby!sam, so excited to share his karate with her, hugging her with enthusiasm and love. daniel comforting sam when she begins having panic attacks, daniel learning to have patience with demetri thru his relentless neuroticism, and now??

now daniel’s tenderness is mocked like it’s a weakness not just by johnny, but by the narrative. so much so, the audience is actually meant to take away that the version of daniel who breaks his son’s things is superior??

i genuinely hate this. it leaves the worst taste in my mouth.

since i’ve covered the daniel of s4, ig it’s only sensible that we talk abt johnny next. uh. ykw, ngl, i’ve never particularly cared for this character. he’s amusing, yeah, and his relationship with miguel was so genuinely heartfelt that i actually wanted to root for him even tho he makes it so hard. but it is hard. and the fact that the little character development he did have just up and vanished makes it that much harder??

like, it did vanish, right?? in s1 and s2 i feel like there was some tangible growth for johnny. even tho it was subtle, quiet, it was there. then in s3, he kinda stagnated?? he helped miguel along the road to recovery, that was good, but?? did we rly get any growth from him beyond that? nothing sticks out in my mind. but even a lil bit of stagnation wasn’t rly a dealbreaker for me with this character, that’s how it is irl most of the time. growth is slow. meaningful change most often takes time.

but in s4, it’s like we’re completely back to square one with johnny. dare i say he’s even worse? the misogyny (and borderline homophobia) was dripping from his fucking pores. i can’t believe episode 6 was smth i actually had to sit thru. i can’t believe i was supposed to find it funny. and he made no effort for robby whatsoever??

like, he knew robby was with kreese and daniel presumably told him who terry was (offscreen, so good luck ck-only fans who haven’t seen tkk3 tryna figure that one out) and he?? never checked on him? like at least in prior seasons he made a minimal effort here and there. it was never enough and it was aggravating that johnny continually had the audacity to act like his teenage son was in the wrong for not embracing him with open arms after yrs of neglect, but like!! at least he tried here and there. johnny wanted robby to move in with him at one point. he opened his door for robby when sam was drunk af and bought him some school supplies. in s4 his son is living with two war criminals (one of which tried to KILL him last season) and he does not shit abt it??

okay. then, like, the one thing that johnny has been doing a consistently good (or at least decent) job at-- his relationship with miguel --he just fucking flushed down the toilet. he made little missteps all thru s4, but the finale??

jfc. miguel got hurt and he cried out for johnny, spooked and in pain, and mere minutes later johnny’s putting the pressure on there to get back out and win? not just putting pressure on him, he tried to manipulate him. miguel sat there and dead ass listened to johnny try to pull a kreese on him. and all of this happened after miggy put his drunken ass to bed and told him he loved him just hear, “i love you too, robby.”

and this is where i go back to actually appreciating miguel’s arc this season. even if he had felt up to competing physically, i wouldn’t have wanted him to. not after that. good for miguel for prioritizing himself the moment he realized he was being used...but that’s wherein johnny’s development really just sped back in reverse, for me.

the one thing i could consistently appreciate abt this drunk, stupid asshole of a character was how much he cared abt miguel and how much he tried to learn from his mistakes for miguel’s sake. and then he tried to use him. he actually put the stupid karate war above miguel’s welfare.

and all of that? all of the above, johnny’s backtracking? i could’ve dealt with it if the narrative didn’t reward him for it. sometimes character development is negative instead of positive. that’s not necessarily bad storytelling. but what i feel is bad storytelling is when the character development is negative and the character in question is rewarded as if it had been positive. we’re not supposed to find johnny’s misogyny and obsession with hypermasculinity off-putting, no, we’re supposed to be amused by it. sam isn’t offended, she tacitly consents, offering a smile. we aren’t supposed to find fault with johnny for being a negligent father all season, oh no, bc robby shows up at the end to tearfully embrace him anyway!

btw, this is smth else the writers had stupid shit to say abt. bruh, they did some interview or whatevs (i don’t feel like digging up the links right now, bc i’m just venting, but maybe i’ll go pull ‘em up later) where they more or less put the onus of mending that relationship on robby. some nonsense abt his being able to empathize with the trials of mentoring bc of kenny and understanding johnny better now. bc that makes sense, right?? it’s the teenager’s job to go comfort his father bc he understands that mentoring kids is hard. ajhsgfjhgfjshdgfjs. christ. 

okay, so that brings us to robby...robby...what do i have to say abt robby?

anything else positive before i’m ranting like a stab crab?? already touched on him playing big bro for kenny, that was cute. oh, uh, ykw, i actually liked the fight with hawk! for the most part, anyway.

for starters, i liked that it was robby vs hawk, the elusive rematch pushed to the backburner for the most part, in the face of more overt rivalries. robby and his “dO yOu WaNt tO fIgHt HiM?” snark at terry when the match started to drag out, oof. terry’s brief moment of homicidal rage might’ve been his best moment all season (second to him kicking the shit outta johnny). so that confirmed what i’ve suspected since the kid picked up a cobra with his bare hands, robby rly does have no sense of self-preservation. 😂

i’m glad that hawk won!!! unlike a lot of fans, i didn’t rly mind hawk joining miyagi-do conceptually. i 100% believe the execution was poor, rushed, and left much to be desired, so it fell somewhat flat for me, but i don’t hate the idea of it. i wish it would’ve been better executed but i was still happy that he got his win. i just...don’t understand why they took their tops off. omfg, that was so silly. i did laugh. if they wanted me to take the fight seriously, bad job, but. it was funny, at least. nonetheless hawk’s win would’ve felt more satisfying if his arc wasn’t rushed and he wasn’t more or less pressured into miyagi-do by demetri.

bc that’s what happened. and that was shitty. ‘mi showed up at his house all like, “well we need a male champion and ur the only one with a shot, lol.” which is, um. that was a choice.

actually the more i linger on this, the more i’m thinking abt it, the more it’s bothering me? that could’ve been a rly good storyline, a rly solid arc for hawk if it was set up the right way. but it wasn’t. i find it dumb that daniel, of all ppl, who has been so staunchly anti-bullying barely bat an eye at what happened to him, so that rly puts a cloud over hawk joining miyagi-do for me, even tho on paper this could’ve been smth i could’ve rly dug.

uh, ig i ranted more abt hawk than i was gonna rant abt robby, not that i have too much to rant abt. the things i find fault with in his story weren’t rly bc of him, per se like my aforementioned beef abt johnny being narratively rewarded by their reunion when he did not shit all season. i personally don’t find it ooc that robby sought him out, like i’ve seen some fans express. i don’t think johnny earned that reunion at all, but robby is a teenage boy starved for attention, so. it still makes sense from his perspective to go follow his dad when he was feeling particularly low after the avt. if anything was ooc it could’ve been robby verbally throwing the school fight in miguel’s face even tho he’d clearly been disturbed by what he did, and was remorseful at the start of s3.

BUT kreese has been in his ear since then, so imo it's not wild to think he would’ve changed his mindset around the fight. that’s what kreese did with tory, too-- she was feeling guilty for starting the fight bc of how it ended but then kreese wormed his way in and gave her an out from the guilt, pushed her to redirect her blame and focus more on the unfairness of her punishment. i’m just gonna go ahead and assume he did the same with robby, he was already starting to when he visited robby in juvie. i can fill in the blanks on that one, so i don’t particularly consider it ooc even tho i understand where the sentiment comes from-- it is certainly a sharp turn from the stupefied look on robby’s face after miguel fell.

but on that note, there is smth else i have an issue with. the telling instead of showing with robby’s living situation. i wouldn’t have mined if it wasn’t important to the story, but it was, okay, like. he was living at the dojo. it was important that he was living at the dojo, bc it set the stage for him to join cobra kai and left him especially vulnerable to kreese’s manipulation. we, as an audience, should’ve been SHOWN what happened with shannon and robby’s new living situation.

that too, like?? when tf did shannon get out of rehab?? why weren’t we shown her reunion with her son? did she go looking for him at daniel’s place? did she ever learn he was more or less homeless, sleeping at the dojo?? is she actually prioritizing robby now that she’s been thru treatment? what’s his perspective on any of this? does he forgive her? are they building trust again? or is he just staying with her bc it’s better than sleeping at the dojo?

we’re told but NOT shown that terry is paying for shannon’s living expenses. how. when. why. terry always has an angle, how’d he hook shannon?

this is so frustrating bc it actually should’ve been important with the way the story had been set up, and yet, it felt like an afterthought. thrown together.

speaking of relationships gone unacknowledged, i’m. mm. okay how much more do i rly need to talk abt daniel and robby?? i already ranted abt that, but the seeming dissolution of the existence of that relationship makes robby’s scene with anthony at the avt bittersweet. this scene acknowledges that robby had a relationship with the larussos! it takes him aback to learn that anthony is kenny’s bully. he was concerned for both kenny and anthony, he wanted to talk to him. yes, good!! good, but it also makes me want to pull my hair out bc the rest of the season p much played out as if robby had never lived with the larussos at all. 

so here i am now gonna rant abt another scene that was so bittersweet and frustrating for me. sam’s scene with aisha. on the one hand i don’t hate that aisha gave sam a pep talk conceptually bc 1) they were childhood friends and 2) it paralleled sam giving aisha a pep talk at the 2018 avt. no, what i hate is that this talk completely forgot the existence of aisha and tory’s friendship and even worse than that, IT WAS THE ONLY THING AISHA WAS HERE FOR. 😡

that’s so shitty and maddening. and tbh it feels racist that the writers brought back a fan-favorite black character just to uplift her white friend. that was aisha’s only purpose for the three minutes we had her back, to give sam encouragement. it feels like an especially glaring flaw when opening up the girls’ division would’ve been a PERFECT opportunity to bring aisha back as a character!!

i’m still pissed off they wrote her out in the first place. the actress was told the writers couldn’t think of anything for aisha to do and that’s why she was written out, and i’m not over it, i’ll never be over it. i have no fucking clue how they came to that decision to begin with considering aisha was cobrai kai’s second student, but nonetheless, s4 presented a golden opportunity to rectify that stupid ass decision-- johnny wanting to find a female champion.

frankly, re-recruiting aisha for eagle-fang would’ve been better writing than johnny trying to recruit new girls who had no karate experience whatsoever. it also would’ve saved us the godawful secondhand embarrassment that was episode six. don’t get me wrong, i adore devon, but it’s just ridiculous that she was training for only six wks and able to compete against experienced, seasoned students in the avt.

and it’s not like ck has never been ridiculous, nor that it’s neccessarily bad when it’s ridiculous. but there’s a difference between fun ridiculousness and just plain stupid ridiculousness.

there was some just straight up stupid shit this season, and this is where i finally get to my point. johnny training kids by having them jump off buildings is very stylish. it’s flashy. it feels like insanity considering that miguel was left in a coma and literally had to re-learn to walk after being kicked two stories down. there was so much of that this season: style. the sheer badassery of robby taking down erry ck student without anyone (barring tory) able to land a single hit. the fight at the prom, synchronized couples kicking ass in fancy suits and pretty dresses. the opulant entrance of terry silver, ever a ham even if under-utilized to the nth. the avt, students showing off their skills in slow-mo, each one-on-one match like smth outta wwe payperview. daniel using the mystical pressure point technique in his rematch with johnny. that rematch was purely smth this season also had no shortage of: nostalgia. daniel and johnny on the mat once more. the flashbacks to the og movies. strong classic rock soundtrack. terry’s very entry into the story. chozen’s second return at mr. miyagi’s gravesite.

this season felt like it was just...full of that. fun stuff. and the fun stuff was fun, don’t get me wrong. but what i truly, wholeheartedly enjoyed abt cobra kai when i first started it??

that it was more than the fun stuff. that there was actually something meaty there, miguel being a parallel to daniel and robby being one to johnny, then the two of them swapping roles bc the sweet, even-tempered boy gets trained ‘STRIKE FIRST STRIKE HARD NO MERCY’ and the troubled truant gets trained ‘karate can help u achieve balance and inner peace, if ur going to fight, then fight honorably.’

there was smth more there, in the way johnny had to confront his past as a bully seeing miguel bloodied and broken and limp, the same way he’d once left daniel larusso. in the way johnny had to see the toxicity of kreese’s teachings play out at the avt, watching his son get massacred by cheap tactics and poor sportsmanship at the hands of his own students, getting swatted off by robby when he went to him bc good intentions aren’t enough anymore, not after 16 yrs.

then season two came along and it was just as good imho, there was character development, the relationship between johnny and kreese felt very realistic whilse remaining true to the og movies. daniel was trying way too hard to be mr. miyagi and it was annoying, but we understood why. my favorite character was introduced and ofc she would latch onto cobra kai’s teachings, the world has been nothing but merciless toward her, why wouldn’t she embrace the dojo that promises her she can be just as merciless?? that she can strike back, strike first?? altho the subtext of class relations between tory and sam wasn’t explored as thoroughly as it could’ve been, it was still compelling in the way it shaped their rivalry. there was much to read between the lines there.

the first two seasons felt more thematic. like we were actually consistently engaging with these things beneath the surface, that intergenational trauma errbody is so sick of hearing abt, the culture of bullying kids sturggle against, the potential for competitive violence to be taken too far, the trappings of hypermasculinity, the lifelong impact our mentors (good or bad) can have, etc. and it was still goof. hell, it was ridiculous. but it was ridiculous with these moments of brilliance and underlying depth. neither the nostalgia nor the style ever eclipsed the show.

s3 felt rly plot-driven. very dynamic finale. i had my issues with it, but. it still felt like a continuation of the first two seasons for the most part, still had underlying depth. there were tangible consquences from the s2 finale (stark contrast of how the s3 finale had no fallout or lasting consequences). robby on the run. miggy in a coma. tory on probation. sam with ptsd, also suffering ostracization from her peers bc she isn’t percieved as cool or tough like the boys in the brawl, she’s percieved as crazy. this season leaned a little too hard into the “three sides to every story,” angle for me. and ofc no season of any show is going to be flawless, but this bothered me particularly bc this is where it felt like the narrative truly began to push the idea that johnny and daniel were equally at fault for the events of the karate kid. uh. no, just no. daniel was ganged up on and assaulted several times. johnny targetted him just for talking to ali, ali who johnny also put in a scary lose-lose situation wherein her boundaries were violated and she was coerced into interacting with him bc otherwise, daniel’s safety was at stake. all actions on daniel’s part were retaliatory.

now here in s4, it seemed like the style/nostalgia/fun elements in cobra kai prioritized over *almost* errything that had previously been compelling (i maintain that the high points of s4 were indeed high points). cobra kai was always a stupid karate show, but at least it used to be a stupid karate show with strong heart. now it’s a stupid karate show with an arrythmia.

[sylvies-chen]

Just rewatching Chicago Fire and I feel like the only main character that the writers have managed to do a good job with displaying their pasts, background and families is Kelly Severide. Maybe because they relate all of his actions to his past and childhood??

I think Kelly has definitely had the most consistent past out of all of them, but I’d say they did a good job of covering some others too. Matt got his whole storyline with his mom, his dad’s murder, Christie and her divorce, etc. It wasn’t necessarily consistent because they just dropped all that stuff after a while and don’t really mention it (especially not now that he’s gone to Oregon) but it was all there and they delved into that a bit. They’ve had some stuff with Boden and his former step-son, and his own father. I think Kelly’s past has been the most thorough and consistent though because whereas you can kind of see why the other characters are the way they are without needing that backstory, you sort of need that with Severide to understand him or else people watching season 1 would just say “oh that guy’s a dick” and stop watching. He’s a good person almost in spite of his upbringing— and even though at the end when Benny died, they tried spinning this thing of like, trying to imply that Benny really was a good father after all, I don’t buy that really. He was flake, unreliable, a womanizer, and was really hard on Severide. So I think when the viewers see it as Kelly in season 1 repeating that cycle that he’s been taught about how to be a bit of a dick in the name of ambition and to be arrogant and fool around with a ton of women, I suppose it’s more palatable and nuanced because he didn’t know any other way. And we see him start to unlearn all of that and grow into a whole new character, which I don’t think has happened as drastically for any of the others. Matt’s kind of that guy who even though he has that traumatic past, he sort of cam into the show confident in who he is. Stella’s journey’s about leadership and embracing that, Gallo’s is about letting your weak spots make you stronger and not being such a wild child, there’s plenty more. But Severide’s the one who’s had the most development for sure, and that past is integral to it which is why they touched on it more.

I would like to have more about the backstories/pasts of the women on the show though. We barely get anything on them apart from a few brief comments that never get addressed. I know people have been screaming for quite some time begging the writers to talk more about Stella’s parents and that period where she fell into the wrong crowd, as well as to go into more depth on the comment Sylvie made about how her mom had a mental breakdown when she was a teen. Also, they’ve mentioned a big of backstory for Ritter like how he idolized his uncle and that’s why he became a firefighter, and how his uncle committed suicide, but I want them to talk about that more in depth. And Violet too! She doesn’t have a ton of backstory at all! There’s just so much potential and so much material to work with, it’s a well of opportunity that the writers really need to tap into.

[scarlet--wiccan]

I don’t think Wanda’s mutant status actually matters nearly as much as it should for Billy and Tommy especially, mutants are born with their powers (though usually dormant), Wanda and pietro (currently) got their powers from the HE but the twins were seemingly born mutants. Either she made them mutants subconsciously bc she believed she was, or they’re the mutant children of a mutate (like Franklin Richards). Not defending the retcon and DEFINITELY not defending the way Wanda’s been treated and how weird that makes Tommy’s relationship status but I don’t think non mutant Wanda necessarily means Billy and Tommy aren’t. They should clarify, where Tommy’s powers even come from if pietro got his from THE especially confused me, but usually powered kids of mutates have been considered mutants.

That being said it probably doesn’t matter bc Sc*rletVisi*n is probably going to make all of them mutants point blank so the comics will shift to accommodate that. Apparently Peter from the xmen is going to come in and bring mutants somehow which sounds horrible (and though ATJ still shouldn’t have been playing pietro as a white man he was at least semi recognizable as quicksilver from the comics and Jewish. I hate xmcu quicksilver A LOT more than mcu QS even though neither is good) and ridiculous but the leak has gotten a lot of crap right so far.

I’m assuming the plan is to retcon the retcon with this krakoa event but they’re waiting until the big tv reveal because unfortunately the movies/shows are their priority now. I think the only good think is that krakoa seems so far divorced from any status quo (mcu or otherwise) that making the maximoffs mutants (again) will have to be completely divorced from the mcu so there’s a chance the storyline might not be terrible? I don’t want the whitewashed maximoffs to have any more of an impact on the comic characters, even though I know that’s impossible.

Well, for one thing, they just retconned Franklin as a "false" mutant, too. I'm not saying that was a good choice, but if we're talking about the current status quo, he definitely doesn't hold up as an example. The definition of "mutant" has shifted over the years, but, generally speaking, when we talk about X-Men mutants, we're talking about people with a specific genetic feature, the X-gene. I suppose that a child of a human mutate who inherits superhuman or abnormal genetic traits from their parents would be, by definition, a mutant, but if they don't have the X-gene, it's not the same thing. Are there a lot of other characters like Franklin, who were allegedly born with the X-gene because their parents are mutates? Because I can't think of any off the top of my head.

Anyways, this is a hard point to debate because the 2015 retcons were poorly executed and poorly justified-- it's, like, impossible to retroactively view Wanda and Pietro as non-mutants when, in the past, their mutant status was an integral part of their characters and a key plot point in several major events. House of M, Son of M, and AvX literally don't make sense if they aren't mutants-- Pietro was depowered by the "no more mutants" spell, and Hope was able to mimic Wanda's powers. Neither of these things would be possible if they weren't real mutants. The explanation can't just be that Wanda believed herself to be a mutant, and so her magic functioned accordingly-- if that's how it's supposed to work, the reveal in Axis never could have happened the way it did. Do you see what I mean? I'm running circles around myself trying to make it make sense.

That aside, Billy and Tommy's status as mutants has always been a little nebulous-- I don't think they're ever clearly identified as such in any Young Avengers titles, although they were definitely described as mutants in some of their other appearances-- Secret Invasion always comes to mind. You could argue that their powers are a factor of their magical resurrection, rather than being genetic, but, as I've said in the past, I do think that the twins are genetically continuous to their original incarnations. More to the point, their "mutations" match Wanda and Pietro's almost exactly. This is taken as proof of their connection to Wanda, so, based on that significance, I'm inclined to say the nature of their powers should also match, mutant or not. Plus, don't you think it'd be a weird coincidence if they had the same abilities, but from a different source?

[As a disclaimer, I do tend to think of/refer to the entire Maximoff family as mutants when I'm not directly addressing the retcons. This is because they were written as such for decades, so they are still mutant characters within most of the existing material.]

__________________________________

I have heard some of those leaks and rumors, and I agree that if the Axis retcon is going to be reversed, even partially, it will probably happen if and when MCU!Wanda comes to be known as a mutant. As I've said, I'm not invested in that character and I don't think there's any way, at this point, to fix the problems that she represents, so I don't really care where she ends up in the movies. I will say that I'm not terribly worried about the films influencing Wanda's appearance or characterization in the comics-- even after the Axis retcon, which was clearly motivated by IP concerns related to the movies, the changes she went through had nothing to do with MCU!Wanda and actually differentiated them even further.

That said, while Hickman's treatment of Wanda may be a red herring or set-up for some big reveal, I don't trust him, or Howard, with the character in any circumstance. More importantly, I care less about Wanda being a mutant than I care about the way Hickman, like Remender before him, is carrying on with the worst, most offensive aspects of her mid-2000s characterization. The levels of ableism and misogyny House of M, Disassembled, etc are too great to ignore. It is irresponsible for contemporary writers to refer back to those stories without acknowledging those problems, or at least attempting to shift the narrative for the better.

It's also really hurtful to me, as someone who sees their identity and history reflected in this character, to see her painted as pseudo-genocidal, or a race/class traitor, or a self-hating minority. Wanda has only become that character because gadjekane writers have chosen to project those those notions onto the image of a Roma woman. That sucks, and it sucks even more that so many fans, and industry pros, turn their ire onto the character, rather than reckoning with the real problem.

[finnickodaiir]

I don’t see how you could watch the show and NOT think Will needs to have a storyline related to Lonnie. We saw Jonathan and Joyce with Lonnie and hopefully we get to see them deal with their trauma related to him but Will- I mean it’s pretty explanatory why that relationship needs to be explored. Why wouldn’t someone want that? What brenner is to El is what Lonnie is to Will (and the Byers in general).

Hi anon, my answer is a lot longer than you probably expected, so I put it under the cut:

People who claim that Will and Lonnie will not interact at all and that its only Jonathan’s arc are being willfully ignorant and are in denial. Why we would see Jonathan and Lonnie’s relationship being explored again? He already had the arc of rejecting his father's ways and telling him where to go in Season One, if that happened in S4, he would be having the same arc twice (which would just prove the Duffers don’t know what to do with him). It makes way more sense if Will is the one whose arc will involve interacting with his father. He hasn't yet rejected his father's ways, which can be proved by the fact that he chose to destroy Castle Byers with a bat (Lonnie tried to "man him up" by taking him to baseball games), that he said he isn't going to fall in love (Jonathan was, as far as I remember, was quite skeptical of romantic relationships as well in S1, which was a result of his parents' marriage and eventual divorce), he took Mike’s claims about "not liking girls" seriously, which proves it's likely true and that he suffers from a lot of internalized homophobia caused by his father's and classmates' homophobia (and there's also that fact that it's the 1980s, but one thing doesn’t rule out the other). Also, I think that saying that Lonnie shouldn’t play a part at all in Will's arc S4 (it's about a post I saw on Sunday), because he "wasn't deeply affected" (which as I pointed out that earlier is bullshit) or "wasn't affected by Lonnie as much as Jonathan", is both wrong and rather offensive, because this isn't a competition of who suffered the most. The reason why certain people don’t want that is because they think Will is a minor character who is there to be nice to the main ones and suffer in silence. Some of them are now acknowledging that he is gay but say he will only come out and will sit in the background for the rest of the show (which I think is pretty problematic, because if you confirm that a character is LGBTQ+ and then you don't flesh that character out at all, then you only did it for representation points). I didn't really want to bring ship wars into the discussion, but I feel like most of the "Is Will important or not" discourse boils down to the Byler vs Mileven ship war (which as toxic as it is, I think revealed some people's true feelings when it comes Will and LGBTQ+ rep, but I'll elaborate in another post), most of the people who don't want him to have a big storyline, happen to be Milevens, because if he is just a minor character, then in their minds chances of Byler happening are low, which misses the point, because not every main character necessarily ends up with another main character (basing this on their idea that Will is a minor character), for example, Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley, Phoebe and Mark from Friends. So, yeah, I do believe the fact that most of the “Will shouldn't have much of a storyline in S4″ boils down to ship wars. I'm not saying he is the main character (this show has a lot of main characters, every character whose actor is credited among the main cast, should be considered a main character in my opinion), but he is not a minor character either, if he was then why would the Duffers create parallels between him and El? Why would his disappearance in S1 be the thing that drives the plot and his possession in S2 and why is he still connected to the Upside Down/The Mind Flayer? If he was a minor character of little importance, then his role in the show would be a small one like Mr. Clarke and wouldn’t affect the plot that much, but it isn’t. And the fact that he was used rather sparingly by the writers in S3 doesn't change that, S3 was about "the summer of love and being a teenager", Will isn't in a relationship and was reluctant to let go of his childhood, so it makes sense that he wasn't super involved and also El’s storyline in S2 didn't have that much to do with the main plot until the finale, her story in that season was mostly about family (bonding with Hopper, meeting Terry and Becky Ives, Kali), in some ways it was a journey of self-discovery. I think it was the writers intended to with Will last season, but if they had gone too deep into it, then they would have to explore certain things they probably hope to do in later seasons. In S3 we see Will feeling out of place in the "summer of love" and he still doesn’t want to let go of his childhood hobbies, but that changes after episode 3, in that episode he ends up lashing out at Lucas and Mike, their reactions suggest that he doesn't do that often or never did that before. He ends up that episode destroying Castle Byers, which symbolizes him letting go of his childhood, he also warns them about the Mind Flayer's return and takes a backseat, because after all this is still the summer of love and because he is not in a relationship, in some ways he has no place in the summer of love. But that's not to say he didn't have any growth at all, he still speaks up and calls other Party members out when he believes they are acting foolishly (something that judging by the other boys’ reaction, he never/rarely did before), it wasn't much but it was something when you compare it to S2 Will, who d who suffered in silence and apologized a lot. Sorry anon, this was longer than you probably expected, but I hope I covered most of the things you asked. 

[himbo-buckley]

Intimacy, Sex and Buddie (better known as I have a lot of feelings about this show, some of which are related to the before mentioned topics) - Part 2

G’day friends, family and lost travelers! Welcome back to another instance of: I read too much into things!

This is where we really dive into the Character analysis and it’s gonna be a fun ride!!! (well, maybe. For me at least because thanks to 3.16 I am living! That episode validated me so much and now I truly believe I am right)

This is part two of a three part Meta / Character Analysis, and while you probably don’t need to read part 1, I would recommend it, so here is the link:

part 1

Also:

I should preface this by saying this meta was supposed to be a lot shorter and only talk about how both Buck and Eddie use sex to distract their respective partners from whatever topic they actually wanted to talk about but since I decided to rewatch the show to make sure I don’t miss any such scenes, it has exploded a bit and taken on more topics.

I should also mention that I am a Buddie shipper and while I tried, you will find several references and arguments for the ship in this Meta, not all of which necessarily call for a romantic pairing but just: These two are deeply connected and you cannot look at one without discussing the other and they are each other’s strongest emotional connection.

I should also preface this by saying that the whole of the 118 has some obvious intimacy / commitment issues except Bobby (which is sort of surprising) but *John Mulaney* voice we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

On another note I cuss a little in this Meta because my parents let me listen to TicTacToe as a small child and after that it never stuck that cussing is wrong so, uhm, parental supervision is advised or something?

This Meta will so far have three parts (this is part two), one for each season and is organised by episode so you could technically follow along

So here goes nothing, Season 2: (Also called „Why is Ryan naked so much?“)

Episode 2.01:

I’m not gonna talk a lot about this episode, because I feel like it’s been analysed to death already. Important to know is that Buck hasn’t yet given up on Abby coming back (see the shower scene), he is very lonely and there is a lot of homo- erotic tension.

Basically this episode goes like this:

Buck *after meeting Eddie*: nooooo, Dad, I don’t want a brother! He’s better than me! Put him back where he came from!

Eddie *takes one look at Buck*: Ui, you guys lied, he’s an ass - I like it! This is way better! We’re gonna be friends!

And then Buddie decides to something stupid to prove themselves (to each other) and they end up saving the day and bonding.

Also Eddie saying: „You guys hungry?“ after the Ambulance blows up? Iconic! He is such a little shit.

Episode 2.02 / 2.03:

(I’m putting them together because two-parter)

This episodes truly proves how hard they’ve already bonded, despite Buck not even knowing Eddie has a kid yet, especially from Eddie’s point of view: I actually think he started seeing Buck as his partner first. 

I love how he always takes charge, even in his first episode and expects Buck to go along with it - which Buck does (after some initial reluctance), because Buck is good at following orders and trusts Eddie. It might be an army thing, probably is an Eddie likes control thing. What is truly unique about Buddie, is the fact that Eddie defers to Buck’s judgement as needed, something he doesn’t do with anyone else, I think, unless the chain of command tells him to. Just look at how annoyed he is by Ali and her interfering.

That being said it really isn’t all to relevant for this meta, except to say: Interest- ing how fast they trusted each other and became a unit - I guess it’s true what they say: birds of a feather flock together.

Episode 2.04:

Here we get our first real insights into Eddie’s character (aside from that he is a little shit and likes to take charge) as well as some very nice shots of the man’s body, proving my theory that someone in charge really wants to get busy with Ryan Guzman. Which I am not exactly complaining about.

I do think however it’s a very noticable shift from the way they treat the other young, attractive guy in the cast. I talked about this a little in the first part of this Meta, how they went out of their way to hold Buck accountable and make him relatable, but refused to bank on his sex appeal, aside from a few scenes which mostly were about explaining why Abby reached out to him (and uh, we do not need to talk about how creepy that really was, do we?). Eddie though really gets sexualised from the get go. Or maybe that’s just me and I missed something? (Someone with more insight on such topics take the wheel? Because that really isn’t my area of expertice and I don’t wanna say anything false)

A main difference between Buck and Eddie at this point (or in general) is that Buck is always looking for connection. He craves emotional intimacy but it scares him because he cares too much and people keep leaving so he searches out physical intimacy - or he used to. Actually by Season 2 Buck is actively looking to connect emotionally with another person.

Eddie on the other hand isn’t even on the same level as Pilot!Buck, because he avoids both physical and emotional intimacy (except with Buck because, you know, steam engine). The episode implies that it might be caused by Shannon leaving, but the rest of Season 2 and specifically Season 3 show us that it’s an Eddie thing (likely caused by his upbringing if you fast forward to 3.15). And it really makes me want to know how Shannon and Eddie met and how long they had been dating before she got pregnant. Probably not that long tbh.

One thing to notice about the episode is that it parallels Eddie both with Buck (neither wants to date one of those girls, both deflect about their reasons) and with Abby - watch 1.03 and 2.04 back to back, both are about a character taking care of a special needs family member, both have another family member consider them stuck when they themselves do not and both feature Buck trying to help (passively by talking to Abby on the phone vs. actively by having Eddie and Carla meet)

Also as I pointed out in another post the conversation about dating is kind of similar to the car conversation, and I really am clowning now - which is why I will not try and parallel the conversation between Maddie and Buck with the one between Bobby and Buck in 1.09!

I still don’t fully understand the need for that scene (you know which one) aside from being another instance where the boys get sexualised and giving us our first insight into Eddie romantically and also the first time he uses Christopher as a shield (also not the last).

The general take away from the episode is that Eddie is bad at asking for help and Buck is bad at asking for permission which means they fit really well - because Eddie doesn’t have to voice his needs and Buck doesn’t have to feel bad about steamrolling him.

In terms of the overall theme of this meta your main takeaway from this episode should be:

Buck - no longer substituting physical intimacy for emotional intimacy but also not seeking out emotional intimacy, both because he has a connection through Maddie and is building one with Eddie but also because he still considers himself spoken for, though the episode ends with him realicing he might not be (and then he keeps realising, because he is one stubborn mf).

Eddie - avoiding both physical and emotional intimacy and using Christopher to deflect, mainly because he doesn’t have the time for either (but still getting a connection through Buck, thanks to someone just punching right through his boundaries)

Episode 2.05:

no relevance, our boys are barely in it

Episode 2.06:

Well, if you want to write about Buddie crumbs than yeah, definitely important. Also, you can draw a definite parallel between Abby and Taylor, because Buck knew both their voices before he saw their faces and built an emotional connection to those voices. This fits because, well, Buck is afraid of emotional intimacy, but when it’s just a voice it’s easier for him to let himself be vulnerable cause it’s not an actual person.

Plus, considering the thing with Taylor is one sided prior to their meeting, he isn’t actually cheating on Abby. Or so Buck thinks. (Also Taylor doesn’t have a chance to hurt Buck and leave him because you know, she is not aware he exists?)

Also Eddie talks about becoming a firefighter because he missed the camaraderie of the army - aka the emotional connection he had with his squadron (is that the right term?). So technically he did actively try and seek it out - to a point at least. Because, as I will discuss in Part 3, Eddie may consider the 118 his family but his relationship with the other three firefighters in not on the same level than the one he has with Buck.

Episode 2.07:

Let’s all give a warm welcome to Shannon Diaz! I like Shannon, I think she is great (I also think she and Eddie are similar because they both run away from problems which is why they would never work out - unlike another possible relationship mentioned sporadically in this Meta, hint hint ;) ... okay, moving on)

We learn that „not in the picture“ means Eddie is still married, which begs the question how much Eddie has told Carla and the 118 about Shannon up to this point (as little as possible), what they assume about her (probably the worst) and if Eddie ever sets the record straight (I’m assuming yes, because while Eddie doesn’t share - Eddie is also protective of his family and Shannon is his family for better or worse - I really wish they didn’t kill her off and instead played out the divorce storyline because there was so much chance for growth! Although that was probably too similar to Athena and Michael, which is why they didn’t do it. So they fridged her. Damn, and I am still salty about it.)

I really love when she comes to the house, because we learn so much about them as a couple. Like how her eyes grow warm when he opens the door but Eddie’s don’t but then he goes in to hug her (and you can really tell that Ryan Guzman is an athlete in the way that he always acts with his whole body and conveys so much through movement). And the fact that Shannon immediately pushes to meet Christopher (probably because with Eddie you need to push, because he is very stubborn and also in need of control), and her saying she never thought Eddie would be into something so fancy? Yet another insight into Eddie’s character and into his upbringing, which while probably not poor seems to have been fairly modest.

Also love how they fight almost right from the get go, implying that it is their normal (as proven in 3.15). They really never stood a chance!

There is a lot of backstory we get through their fighting, both at the house and at the school, most notably that even in marriage Eddie was never able to fully open up to Shannon - aka be emotionally intimate with her. Which made her feel very alone.

And I don’t wanna defend Shannon and her actions because other people have said it before and this is not what this Meta is about but I can see her point of view. With Eddie and the way he just always needs to be in control and make the decisions she probably thought she had to do something drastic to get him to notice her and her struggles.

Interestingly enough Eddie is emotionally vulnerable with Shannon at the end when he tells her that he understands why she left and that he misses her, but then he immediately kisses her and look, we don’t know what happens next  but we can guess from the latter episodes.

And look, tbh with Eddie it’s a little bit harder to draw the line between physical and emotional intimacy than with Buck because Eddie’s love language is touch and actions, so technically in a way he is always emotionally intimate when he is physically intimate (probably why he didn’t wanna go out with any of the girls in 2.04 - Eddie, different to Buck, can not just separate feelings from sex, while Buck has a hard time reconciling the two)

On Buck’s side of this Meta he finally comes to terms with Abby leaving, which doesn’t have too much relevance for this meta except there are a lot of parallels between Buddie in terms of: how long is too long to wait - because while Eddie pretends to have given up on Shannon, he actually hasn’t, whereas Buck outwardly is still waiting for Abby but on the inside has given up hope - something they both come to terms with in this episode

Episode 2.08:

Fun fact: The german title of this Episode is Lovestorys. Can you guess if there is anything of relevance in it?

Okay, first off for the millionth time, in case you haven’t read part 1 or you aren’t convinced yet or maybe you just forgot: Evan „Buck“ Buckley was never a sex addict. Kay? Good.

Also, remember when I said the show doesn’t sexualise Oliver the way it does Ryan? Yeah, this episode exactly. Buck has sex twice and we see less of his body than of Eddie just getting out of bed. Is it a contract thing? Was Ryan always running around naked on set? Did Oliver refuse to take his shirt off? Is he always cold because he’s vegan? Should I figure out Twitter just to ask the cast these questions?

(Also, remember when I said with Buck it’s mostly Girl on top, yay, it stays true)

In terms of actual relevant story, there’s that woman on the freeway (highway? Idk guys, I’m not from the US) reinforcing that Buck has finally accepted that Abby and him are over and then there’s the Taylor Kenny - story, which is sort of just beating the bush of sexual vs emotional intimacy with Buck trying for the latter and only finding the former (remember the Brunette from the Pilot? Yeah, that’s why I’m reminding you).

What I like is the fact that, after spending so much time calling out Buck 1.0 (and they should, because stealing a fire truck? Twice? Babe, for realsies?), this episode went: look, maybe girls like meaningless sex, too? Although, technically they have been telling us from the the beginning, that those girl were using Buck in the same way he was using them (again with the Brunette) - Buck just never understood that until Taylor.

We also get the soulmate scene with the very sweet couple, once again, rein- forcing how lonely Buck is and how much he is craving love and a connection and stability. That really is what his character boils down to at the end of the day: a lost kid trying to find his place in the world. And now I’m sad.

As for the Ali storyline, oh man, I’d really rather ignore it? Not because I have anything against the character per sey it’s just - we get to see their first meeting and then 5 episodes later their first date and by the end of the season they are in love love except by Season 3 she is gone? And in between she is hardly ever mentioned? So I really don’t know how to comment on their relationship in terms of this meta and what it means for Buck except: I think it was one of those right times right moment kind of things and Buck is sort of transfering a lot of his wishes and needs and feelings onto her, but their relationship has a weak foundation, which is why it ended so fast (except we don’t know how fast it ended because there is a 5 month gap between Season 2 and 3 and the breakup gets mentioned one (1) time. Soooooo...)

And Eddie, well, he was in the episode.

Episode 2.09:

I like this episode a lot and it tells us so much about Hen’s issues, but in terms of this meta: no relevance!

Sidenote: I do always forget they did Hen before they did Chim. Then again this episode in general feels very disconnected because there was no prompting, no connection to the present.

Episode 2.10:

Ah, yes, that one! The gift that keeps on giving in terms of Eddie and this meta (and also Buddie, but I’m trying not to be ship-y around here)

(One tiny sidenote though, I do think we see Eddie roll of off Shannon, and, while I don’t want to reinforce some stereotype about Top and Bottom, because I am not a gay man and therefore not qualified to comment, with Buck it’s generally girl on top? So Buck usually lets his partner set the pace while Eddie prefers to be the one in control? Okay, you know what, let’s just say it fits with their characters and maybe they match and leave it at that?)

(also, again with the Ryan shirtless, I mean, not that I am complaining, it’s just ... yeah, please, someone who knows this stuff come talk to me about it and explain because I don’t know and maybe I am seeing things?)

(sidenote #3 with actual relevance: They did not mention Buck’s girlfriend even once. They never do until the final.)

First of, this episode proofs what I said before: With Eddie there is no separating Sex and feelings. It is interconnected („We are working things out.“).

Also there is a point to be made about Eddie and control. So far we have always seen Eddie be the one in control and make decisions and this is our first real indicator that it actually bothers him, that maybe he wants someone else to tell him what’s right or wrong, too.

I’m gonna fast forward a bit, because we are nearly at the end of Season 3 irl and so far we have seen Eddie ask for help several times but only with two people - Buck and Lena - he actually takes the advice. I don’t want to say too much because it really fits better in Season 3, but wether you ship them or not, it is noticeable that out of everyone Buck is the one Eddie let’s help the most. The one he trusts the most.

(Man, they are both just two lost boys looking for their home, aren’t they? (and now I am sad again.))

There is also the topic of trust brought up, which you know, we hear about a few times from Eddie, and it really is such a big thing for him, isn’t it?

To fast forward again, that is one big difference between Eddie and Buck. Both struggle with self worth and trust but while Buck’s biggest problem is that he doesn’t trust people to like him, if they actually get to know him (or if they even want to get to know him), Eddie just plain old does not trust people? Because Eddie is a pessimist, so he doesn’t even try to connect, while Buckeroo trusts way too much and too easily and he is such an optimist and gives away everything and then he still isn’t enough - and then and only then does he give up hope (which is something we see happen in canon maybe twice? With Abby, maybe with Ali, and with Christopher, but again, Season 3 you guys!)

These two really are the different sides of the same coin, huh?

In relevance to this Meta, Eddie is trying very much this whole episode to be open and vulnerable and he struggles so much because he is very scared. The main issue with Eddie is always (and specifically with Shannon) by making himself vulnerable, he opens Christopher up to getting hurt as well (and vice versa because he can’t let Shannon into his son’s life without letting her into his own life) and this is what we see him struggle with in this episode and also what intensifies his already existing issues with intimacy throughout the show in general, his need to protect his son. 

It should be noted that in the end Eddie puts Christopher’s wishes above his own well-being which is in fact what he will always do because Christopher is the most important person in his life.

As for Buck in this episode, well, after having so much development in his last episode, he really was there more as a sounding board for other characters. However I will mention that, after the show points out the whole thing is none of his business twice, Eddie then turns around and makes the Shannon thing Buck’s business, because well, connected and all that. Trusting and giving up control. Emotional intimacy. Just repeating myself now.

Episode 2.11: No relevance.

Episode 2.12: No relevance.

Episode 2.13: No real relevance.

There is the scene in the hospital between Buck and Eddie that reinforces the peas in a pot thing they got going on and a reverse from the Christmas Episode when Eddie asked Buck about what he should do. Here Eddie acts as the sounding board (even though Buck has already done the thing but then so has Eddie by hiding Shannon).

This is also yet another instance of Buck trying to help another person with no regard for his own safety but I’m with Eddie here: I have sisters as well. I too would do countless stupid things to save them with no regard to my own safety and I’m a girl - I was not raised on the believe that is was my job to protect them from harm like both Buck and Eddie probably were (because gender rolls).

Also Buck thinks it’s his fault that Doug even found Maddie and Eddie explains to him why its bull. To reinforce the whole connection thing, it is very noticeable that these two always give each other exactly what the other needs - with Eddie from the get go always working on building up Buck’s self worth and Buck always lending a hand to Eddie and taking control when needed (remember Carla? That was Buck taking control for Eddie because Eddie didn’t know what to do).

There is also the short scene when Shannon comes to the hospital and it prob- ably did a lot to help rebuild Eddies trust in his wife.

Episode 2.14:

STOP MAKING EVAN BUCKLEY WORRY ABOUT HIS FAMILY 2k21 (because it’s too late for anything before that)

It’s also our first real: Eddie can be a dumbass, too sighting and there is that one scene (you know which one) which in text is not shippy at all, but ended up in every gifset because Oliver is looking at Ryan like he wants to eat him alive.

Aside from that, this episode really isn’t about them and that’s okay.

Episode 2.15: Crime is hard. That is all.

Episode 2.16: No relevance.

Episode 2.17:

First of all, Eddie is not shirtless? At the beach? Damn, what’s wrong, 911? Is it because Gavin was there? Have you used up all your contracted shirtless scenes by now? Did Ryan find out he was the only one running around set half naked?

Also poor Eddie, you know, you’d think getting married your done having those: what are we - conversations and then bam: there it is again. He really can’t catch a break, can he?

Also I know it’s been said before, but I’ll say it again: Eddie Diaz is not in love with Shannon. Maybe he has never been or maybe he just stopped at some point, but right then and there he isn’t in love with her. He does however love her deeply (she is after all the mother of his son) and she is his family which is sort of where the problem in their relationship lies. Because Eddie, who has problems with trust and intimacy, frankly doesn’t care enough about Shannon (and also doesn’t trust her enough) to try and be open and vulnerable with her, which is what he needs to be in order for them to work, a fact that Shannon seems to be aware of and have accepted.

(Because if you have to wait for a sign on what to do in your relationship, yeah, you already know - you’re just not accepting it.)

And this episode is so heartbreaking and I just had to stop myself from ugly crying because Shannon loves Christopher so very much. And I just hate that they killed her off, so in my mind I have already half plotted a fix it fic in which she survives because that was just unnecessary angst.

Though that’s the topic of another post.

In terms of the relationship-story I am similarly floored as I am by the „Help!“ scene because (at least for me) this is the first time I have seen media really address that yes, you can be a good parent and still not be ready for a serious relationship because those two things are very different. Sure, you sometimes see examples of it through subtext but never before has it been so outright stated.

And I like that both Shannon and Eddie ask themselves that question, but come to a different conclusion - or actually they don’t. Like I said above, for Eddie this relationship fits because it’s easy and he doesn’t have to change or better adapt. He can just keep avoiding the hard stuff (being vulnerable) and still have the good stuff (sex). And then Shannon might be pregnant again and look at his speech at the restaurant: He is basically saying our child is awesome, so we should get back together because if we make such awesome children than we can’t be that bad together. And that is so very wrong, which Shannon understands.

The problem is, that Eddie doesn’t fully understand why their marriage hasn’t worked in the first place. If you tie it into 3.15 Eddie Begins, I think for Eddie, the reason why Shannon left him was a little to get back at him for leaving her and a lot about feeling left alone and being unable to cope with raising their child alone, but all of that is gonna be different now because he will be there for her physically and emotionally as he is no longer in the army! So the issue is solved. They should be a family again. Even without a new kid. After all: they love each other.

And look, those are all fair reasons and true but the thing Eddie doesn’t understand about relationships in general and his marriage to Shannon in particular is that she also needs him to be emotionally vulnerable with her. Shannon needs Eddie to let her be there for him, just like he is trying to be there for her. Because relationships are always a two way street.

SO obviously this is where the episode ended. There were no more scenes af- ter that. Nope. Bit weird how it was so short but you do you, 911, you do you!

And well, Buck was there too.

Episode 2.18:

I’m just gonna come out and say it: Ramon and Helena are bad parents. Flying to your daughter-in-law’s funeral only to bad mouth her and then try to take your son’s son away again? Yeah, I do not like your style. I wonder how much of Eddie Begins was already planned at this point or if they built that plot about his family for 3.15 based on this episode. Huh. We might never know. (except Twitter)

Also me thinks Eddie choose LA because of Pepa and Abuela, not because of Shannon. She was probably just a bonus.

As for Buck (and Ali): the actors seem to have had fun doing those scenes? I guess? Other than that it’s a little cringy and very out of nowhere and probably more caused by the show having money left over and deciding to built a new set. ANd damn what a set. I wonder how Buck is supposed to be able to afford that because that apartment has probably about 50-75m2 considering there is a kitchen and a living room as well as a room behind the living room and probably an extra room in the upper floor as well (someone do a floorplan and also tell me why Buck needs so much space and wether they think I could move in with him. My apartment is not this nice and LA isn’t that long a commute).

Point being I don’t know why they brought Ali back in the first place, especially in this episode. She was never mentioned after their first date, so why? Just to give people something to discuss during hiatus?

There was no point to have those two incredibly lovey dovey scenes only to have that scenes about what he wants to do next because all those scenes? Would have worked just fine with, you know, his sister (except a little different because incest). Who actually has the what if you can’t go back to being a firefighter - scene with him. So why have a girlfriend you barely introduced and never used before? I’m not mad, 911, just confused! (Fuck me, I really am getting twitter)

As for the topic of this meta, there really isn’t much too tell. Ali honestly doesn’t figure into things except to create more abandonment issues.

I should point out that this episode reinforced the whole Buddie connection thing - from Eddie holding Buck’s hand the whole while he’s pinned to saying „Almost (back to normal)“ to Buck going to Eddie’s ceremony despite probably still being on somewhat of a bed rest.

Other than that, that’s it for Season 2. Whew!

Before I let ya’ll off the hook, though (look, you’ve read it this far, you can now just bear it a bit longer) I wanna comment real quick:

Compared to Season 1 Buck barely had any character development (mainly because he had so much in Season 1 and sometimes stuff like that needs to settle - real life would be the same way)

Eddie however has nearly no development at all and in fact as of Season 3, not a lot has changed in that regard. His issues just became more obvious. Which is something I actually like a lot, because one: he went through a lot of shit in a fairly short amount of time and two: he is such a stubborn and reserved character, anything else wouldn’t be in character and ultimately feel rushed. Plus, because this is his personality it’s feels like we’re actually getting to know him like you would a person in real life? Piece by piece, no unnecessary exposition. Or maybe that’s just me, I don’t really know anything about storytelling.

I also want to comment on Buddie real quick because it would be dishonest if I didn’t and also it’s just glaring me in the face:

The thing is, while I do not necessarily believe they have any intention of making them romantic (because I have been burned too often and just recently by a show that liked to praise itself for its diversity (so a heartfelt fuck you to Sera Gamble and who ever decided to kill off Quentin Coldwater, because that character mattered so much and you destroyed it)), I do think we are right when we talk about connection and parallels and being each others person and just generally being each others closest relationship. Because they parallel their stories so much and they connect them so often and they did do it from the get go like as early as Episode 4 - which was already written and probably already shot by the time Episode 1 aired. So there. I said it. Buddie is real, wether it’s platonic or romantic, it is real. And that also matters!

(although of course if they went with romantic? That would matter a bit more! Tim Minear, listen to me, you could make TV history! This would be bigger than Supergirl making the sister gay in the second season! Ya’ll would be legends, revered by fans for years to come! Also I’d bake you a cake?)

And there you have it! Season 2! We made it! And only like 2000 words more than Season 1.

Can you believe at this point I have written nearly 10.000 words on these two exceptional characters and their issues? And it’s technically only one issue, like I’m ignoring so much stuff just glaring at me right now!

(also on a side note, this is where I tag @angelcamael , who asked me to do so and @greyhello because she inspired me to write this meta in the first place and while it is now ... no longer about that original topic, I’m still gonna tag her)

[lideria]

Second Nature. | Doyoung

Request: Ahah, this was not a request I just really like to make myself suffer sometimes. This is about a childhood best friend who returns after a long time.

Author’s Note: I have kind of had this storyline already and whenever I looked at Doyoung I thought he would fit into it so well. This is a scenario rather than an imagine, so it might not be fully relatable. Plus, I’m sorry if this hurts you.

Warnings: THIS IS SAD, not proofread bc I suck at it, very downbeat pov, mentions of alcohol consumption/intoxication, mentions of divorce, mentions of injury, lots of emphasis on loneliness, plus there is a dog in this story so if you’re scared of doggies/you’re a cat person, I apologize. English is my second language so there might be errors! Let me know if there is more please!

Word Count: 11664 too many words for my own good really

Genre: ANGST, fluff, childhoodfriends!au, bestfriends!au, friendstolovers!au (???), two surprise AUs that I cannot say for the sake of the story.

I hope you all enjoy! If that’s even possible! Because I felt emotionally drained just by writing it!

“Catch me if you can!”

You let out a loud laugh as you start sprinting at full speed. Your friend and neighbor Doyoung lets out a shriek before picking up his pace, both of you running through and inevitably, over the green grass of your shared garden that is scattered with white and yellow flowers all around. Parents look at your way as they take a sip of their coffee, smiling under the mug. “Don’t sweat too much, it gets chilly in the evening!” His mother shouts when the two of you run close by them. One of you answers okay, but you both cannot make out who it is because the caution only falls on deaf ears.

He catches you when you are running close to the fence, catching you by your shoulders and accidentally pulling your hair. “Ow!” He hisses along with you as you turn back. You are very clearly pissed of, which only alarms him a little further. “Doyoung! I told you to be careful with my hair— it’s longer than yours.”

“I didn’t do it intentionally! I’m sorry. You can pinch my arm so we’re even.” He sticks his arm out, his blue and grey bracelet hanging off loosely from his wrist. “No, but I want a cookie.”

He audibly gasps. “I only have 3 left!”

When you shrug, he sighs and heads inside their vacation home. It takes him a few minutes to go to the front of the house where their kitchen is and come back and by the time he’s back, he finds you sitting at the bottom of the fence. Your face brightens up when you see him and his mother’s cookies, inarguably the best dessert to come after your mother’s. He sits next to you and hands the treasure. You still notice the frown on his face. And you hate seeing him upset.

So, you break the cookie in half— an imperfect half. You get the smaller piece to yourself and hold out the bigger half for Doyoung to take. He smiles the Doyoung smile and takes it before stuffing it in his mouth.

It was a bright, sunny day. You had been at the beach ever since the morning, now late in the afternoon, with Doyoung and his family and yours. Having a sandwich for breakfast and a picnic for lunch and snacks, swimming every other second in between. Both Doyoung and you loved swimming in the aqua blue waters that would occasionally change colors to a deeper blue. More specifically jumping from the pier in what you claimed to be “athletic poses” that were, in reality, sad yet funny excuses for superhero jumps.

“I’m sorry to disappoint, honey, but I think Doyoung had that one.” Your father says when both of you climb up to the pier after your 7th jump, for the votes of your parents on who jumped better. “Yeah, I can’t jump quite as high. It’s because he plays volleyball,”  Doyoung snickers beside you with good intentions, but you still feel a little defeated. “It’s okay, you dive better than me.”

“That’s true, you suck at diving.” The realization of having said a bad word hits you both sooner than ever, and you both cover your mouths in surprise. He is smiling under his hand. You can tell because his eyes are squinting. His parents start laughing and Doyoung too lets go of the laughter he has been holding in. But of course, your parents do not look all that amused. “That’s another month before you get a pet.”

You switch to protest mode in an instant. “But it slipped from my mouth, I didn’t mean it!”

“Just because it slipped doesn’t mean it’s okay,” Your mother claims calmly, and you jump a little with frustration. “But—“

“Whining won’t get you closer to getting one.” Your father sternly adds. You stop immediately, rightfully kind of really upset. Everyone is silent until Doyoung pulls a little on your arm. You know what he means, so you let him drag you back towards the pier. Frustration stings at your eyes and Doyoung can sense it, so he nudges you a little. “Come on, don’t be sad. I’m sure a month will fly by.”

He does not receive any response, even though you argued there’s still at least a year internally. He kind of knew he would not be getting a response, because that is what you act like when you are upset. Seeing as you were, he crossed off the possibility of jumping off the pier with you for the time being. Instead he sat down at the end, dangling his legs, patting the spot next to him for you to sit. You follow his actions.

“Doyoung?” Your voice sounds like you were frowning. “Hm?” He does not look at you, because he does not like seeing people upset. “How is middle school? Is it fun?”

You were just going to be starting middle school, whereas he was going to begin his second year. As always he wanted to tell you the truth. Considering your mood, though, that might have not been the best idea. So he did not. “It is! Plenty of good friends,” Which was not necessarily a lie, but it definitely was not how it went for a lot of people. He feared you would be one of them, as you had a tendency to make friends with everyone and that was not how socializing went in middle school. But for all he knew, everything could be different and you could have an amazing middle school experience. “After school activities are really fun as well.” That definitely was not a lie. Doyoung loved volleyball. “I can’t wait to go back.”

“I’ll swim. That makes me happy.” And it must for real, because he hears the excitement in your voice.

He grins. “Then go for it.”

With that, Doyoung pushes you off the edge. Although surprised, you suspected he would do that subconsciously as he had a habit of pushing people into the water when they have just dried off to entertain himself— a rather evil habit that everyone hates. For payback you splash him with water. He splashes you back as if it would do anything, and you splash him again while calling him another bad word that your parents luckily would not be able to hear and soon enough, it turns into a splash fight.

It was the first day of Doyoung and his family’s arrival that year. You woke up feeling excited, because your best friend was finally here after a whole 5 days of waiting after your own arrival to the summer house. So you ran out to the garden right after breakfast, more than ready to see your friend.

Instead, you were not ready to see him all that much. At least not with his arm in a cast.

You go up to hug him as usual, and he mutters a low, disappointed “Hi.” In return, you give him a much brighter greeting in hopes of bringing his mood up. It does not work.

The day goes on. Both your families and you have a shared lunch, catching up on the previous 9 months they had not seen each other. Their moods are much higher than Doyoung’s and yours. His mood had made you inevitably moody as well. He was not up to play, he was not up to go to the beach, he was not up to go to the grove… It felt like he did not want to do anything. But it was summer. Not the time to be sulking around, even if his arm was in a cast.

Then came an idea.

There was a patch of young olive trees planted near your houses. They were only around the same height as you were, though it varied from tree to tree. You loved how the trees looked when they were passing through the road in between the patches a few days ago. So you only suspected Doyoung would like seeing them as well.

You run up to the parents and ask them if you could take him there. They agree without much hesitation, only warning you to make sure to stay off the road and to wear proper shoes to protect from the bugs and thorns.

Taking Doyoung there was a struggle. Making him agree to go was harder, but he also kept complaining how hot the weather was (as if it had never been that hot before) and how he was too tired (which he should not have been, because you knew he tended to sleep on car rides, and it was an overnight drive for them to get here).

But the second you arrive at the patch, something changes.

He smiles in awe at seeing just how small the trees are and how they shine under the sunlight. You both sit under one of the trees, both of your heads touching some leaves, and it leaves a funny feeling on your heads. You both giggle for quite some time until it just starts feeling nice.

“What happened to your arm?” The question was impossible to hold back, and you thought talking about it would make him feel better. The tone in his voice makes you not so confident about that. “I was dipping to hit the ball, and the arm I wasn’t using— I wasn’t paying attention to it. It twisted and snapped when I landed on it, and now I don’t know if I can play volleyball anymore.” Doyoung lets a sigh out then and it is full of feelings you cannot make out the heavinesses of, because you lacked the experience.

You hiss with attempted empathy. “What are you gonna do instead?”

He sighs again but you can make the feeling behind it out this time, it is annoyance. “My music teacher wrote my name down for a conservatoire, and both mom and dad really wants me to go. Even my brother wants me to go. Weird.”

“Singing sounds nice.” But Doyoung does not look too keen on the idea. In spite of it you smile, hopeful. “If he’s saying you should go, then you have to sing for me sometime.”

He chuckles at that and looks at you as if you suggested something out-of-worldly crazy. “Yeah. Sure. Don’t depend on it.” Then he looks down and whines upon seeing his arm and the sun hitting it— the black cover on his cast. “Ugh, it’s so hot and itchy. I can’t even swim this summer and it’s only the start,” His mouth twitches and wobbles a bit the moment he is done complaining, and you frown, even though the fact that he only realized his arm was making him feel uncomfortable when he looked at it still makes you want to laugh a little. “I’m sorry.”

Doyoung throws you the crazy look again. “I was the idiot, why would you be sorry?” There was genuine curiosity in his voice before he chuckles breathily, in what might be disbelief. You pull on his blue and grey bracelet. The beads looked okay, but the strings were a bit worn off. “We’re best friends?” You suggest, to ring a bell more than anything.

He nods just once, agreeing, examining his bracelet when he notices your gaze on it. “We should really change the strings. Yours look terrible too.”

You look down at your bracelet, green and red like a watermelon as 8-year-old Doyoung had said, and mumble. “Yeah, we really should.”

The idea comes that very second. You just seemed to beam with ideas today. “We can put the beads in your pocket and tie the strings onto the branch. A friendship tree, yes?”

He looks up and smiles. “Okay. I guess to keep in peace as well.”

You had to help him every step of the way because he lacked an arm and through the experience you come to learn that an arm is a very serious lack of a thing. Through the summer he could not do much functioning until they had to leave to get his cast off around a month and a half later, and in turn you chose not to swim when he was at the beach reading books while accompanying his parents and yours. Instead you chatted with him and put handfuls of sand in his t-shirt (being careful not to get any in his cast, of course, partly for your own safety as well) every time he told you to just go and swim, until he was too pissed off at you.

And you stayed with him and offered a piece of your mother’s tiramisu as he cried for the first time ever since the first year you met, after he got the news that his arm was in too fragile of a condition to play volleyball again. Because that was all you could do.

A chilly night, sitting on top of one of the low branches of a random tree close to your shared backyard. It would be scary if you couldn’t see the lights coming off from your houses. Or if birds were not still chirping through the calm silence. But as you sat there, blueberry muffins in your hands, it was almost comfortable. If not for the bumpy bark you had been sitting on, of course.

It was the last days of summer. More and more people were leaving, closing off their summer houses for the duration of off-season. Doyoung and his family would be leaving tomorrow, whereas you and your family would stay for just a few days longer simply because everybody loved this place with its variety of trees and its beach.

“Are you excited you’ll get to compete this year?” Doyoung asks suddenly. You nod immediately and with eager. “I’m gonna win gold.” The sheer ambition in your claim makes Doyoung chuckle, which annoys you a little. He had started doing that a lot this summer, laughing at the stuff you would claim. You look at him as if to ask why he laughed even though you know he was going through the weird phase and lucky for him, he gets the signal. Then he shrugs. “I don’t know. Winning seems important for everyone and it’s silly. Just enjoy what you’re do—“

His voice cracks. “—ing.”

You try your best not to laugh, honestly. But he breaks first, so it is only fair that you start laughing too. His voice had been doing that for almost half of this summer, which was apparently a sign of growing up.

Puberty, being a preteen and all that. You had your fair share of experiences. It was funnier when it was not happening to you.

You mock his voice when you give him an answer. “I’ll just enjoy what I’m doing!” His eyes widen a little at that and he turns a little further towards you in surprise. “Hey, that sounds like how I sound in my head!”

Both of you lose it at the silliness of the sentence, it hurts your stomach after a while. It also takes a lot of effort to not slip from the branch and fall down onto the ground. What cuts through your laugh sooner than expected was his mother calling him back, shouting quite loudly that they would be leaving before sunrise and that he needed his sleep so he should better come back before she locks the door and goes to sleep.

The way down is faster and easier than the way up had been. Doyoung stuffs the remainder of his blueberry muffin in his mouth before clapping his hands together a couple of times to clean them of crumbs. He turns to tell you that the two of you better hurry up, but the way your face looks stops him. “I’m gonna miss you,” These exact words would always leave your mouths when it was someone’s time to leave this place and the reality of not being able to see each other for another 9 months set in.

Doyoung visibly relaxes, knowing nothing was wrong. “I’m gonna miss you too. But it’s okay, it’s just 9 months— we always wait that much. Plus,” He smiles widely. “You’ll finally have a pet next summer.”

“And you’ll sing.” He shakes his head immediately. “Please?” You press your chances because it was annoying what he was doing to you. He had never played volleyball with you when he used to play (even though it was rightfully so, as you were terrible at it) and now that he was actually really good at singing (proof being that he had taken part in several shows his conservatoire organized) he would deny you the chance to hear. You were best friends. That basically gives you the right to hear his singing.

Something changes in him, as his eyes widen slightly. “You know what? If you actually manage to get a pet, I will. Deal?” You know he thinks you cannot manage to do it. But you can. So you take it.

“Deal.”

Doyoung and his family do not come next summer.

Or, rather, for several next summers.

You ask your mother the first summer he is not there, your arms on the counter and your head resting on top as you watched her cook. “Mom, Doyoung’s not coming?”

She was washing off some produce from your garden to make a salad before they went bad when you hit her with the question. You do not get an answer, and she does not slow down, so you ask again after a few seconds when she takes out a knife and the chopping board. “Oh, his father has a different work schedule now,” She answers, slicing the cucumber. “They can only use the house on spring breaks.”

Heartbroken, you turn back around to go back into the living room to play with your puppy along with your father.

On the third summer, you hear various tumbling sounds coming from outside and the faint voices of your parents through the glass. The sun is barely up, the sky a pretty pink. You hear voices of a couple of old people. Maybe more, but you cannot make it out, as sleep was fighting with you to rest just a bit longer.

There is darkness for a while. Second time you wake up the sky looks more peachy with hues of yellow. The tumbling sounds have left their place to the sound of slamming metal doors and old engines that you think can only belong to trucks, but the noise is okay, because within less than five minutes the vehicles leave.

You ask about it at breakfast. Your father takes your hand in his as he drops his cutlery, and tells you he is sorry, before revealing that Doyoung and his parents had sold the summer house. Betrayal (lighthearted betrayal which only has place in your heart during your teenage years) slowly washes over you and you stand up abruptly before mumbling something about finishing your breakfast in your room. With unshed tears in your eyes, you gather your plate and leave.

Both of your parents’ sighs are audible when you are climbing up the stairs.

By the fourth year, their house already starts to get the old, rustic, sultry look any abandoned house would get.

You grow every year, that much is sure. Your puppy does so at a much faster rate as well. Your parents get deeper wrinkles on their face. Spots on their hands. The trees get taller, thicker and older. The summer house starts smelling of nostalgia rather than just of sea salt and rarely used furniture. The beach gets even emptier than how it used to be. The grove gets lonelier and scarier. The produce of your garden loses its taste at some point. You slowly start to abandon the idea of going out to the backyard, except for the times you went out with your dog. Jumping off the pier gradually gets less fun than it once was. Your swimming partner has four legs instead of just two.

When you get your first phone, excitement washes over you with hope as company. You ask your mother if you can get Doyoung’s phone number if he has one, but she says that they have lost touch with his parents and that they do not speak to each other anymore.

Excitement leaves your body, and your smile falls.

Some couples of other years pass as time has no intention of stopping, and on one of them your father moves out. With one less person in your summer house, the emptiness grows bigger. With one less person in your summer house, the environment loses its golden glow. The leaves, even under the bright sunlight, only look a sad variety of greens. Rooms feel so much bigger. Memories start off as sweet remembrances, but they surely turn into hauntings when every single thing reminds you of one.

After your father leaves, the only person you have left in your summer house is your mother. The only things you have left is cooking and baking with her, walking around aimlessly, and sitting in the quiet at the pier with your only four-legged companion.

You slowly realize that childhood is gone. Never to come back. Growing up turns out to be loss of great people and great things, and it slowly starts to make sense why your parents kept telling you growing up and being a grown person is not as exciting as you were making them out to be when you were younger.

Summer loses its magic and grows weary. Yet, despite it all, the summer house remains as your safe space.

Because there is only the struggle of loneliness, unlike what the longer part of the years throw at you.

Yet loneliness does not prove to be much easier.

Growing up and going to college, moving out of the house took a toll on your relationship with your mother. It was not noticeable until the first time you came back for the summer break, when it started to seem like you ran out of things to talk about easily. Movie nights grew more frequent. Cooking and baking still were the fun things to do, at least.

It was not that you could not get along with her, or you had too many fights. Being around her was still comfortable. It was just that your mother could never be your friend, let alone your best friend. There were a fair amount of things you would not talk about with her. Even though she must know this, she would try to fill the gap Doyoung had left.

It was not possible. You suspected it never would be. Because he felt like second nature to you and he was gone. How could anyone replace second nature?

Her trying to fill the gap your father had left was one thing. The other was not all the same.

Summers got quiet and lonely after Doyoung left, yes. More so after your father left. But as you kept growing up and sharing less with your mother, the dimension of your loneliness shifted. It started feeling more like isolation.

And it was then, that you felt like true happiness started shifting away from you.

Your favorite time to hang out at the pier is around sunset hours.

The beach was the emptiest around that time and the night, because the general population was old and dinner preparation would keep them from going out from late afternoon and onwards. After sunset— the usual dinner time for most of the neighbors— porch lights would get turned on immediately. And when dark blue paints over the sky while the moon slowly comes out, the sounds of old neighbors visiting each other and chatting, sometimes playing games on their porch and laughing along would travel to the wooden pier where you would be laying down, listening to the wavering sea. It had quickly grown to be one of your fondest things about the summer.

That afternoon is no different. It is almost the golden hour on a hot day, and your dog is absolutely spent after a long walk so you both deserve to get a breather, really.

You move towards the end of the pier and sit down, alerting your dog gently to do the same. Her tail thumps repeatedly against the boards as she sits down looking at your hand. You cannot help but smile at her cuteness. Opening up the water bottle you had brought along, you place your palm under it curled like a bowl. Letting the water flow down carefully, you let her drink the water from your palm.

She ends up drinking most of the water in the bottle but still sweats afterwards. Happy and content despite sweating, she looks around and at the water, watching the few fishes that were swimming towards the seaweed bunched around the pier’s legs, wagging her tail in curiosity. You look at the water as well, but your mind is elsewhere. Wondering about your father.

He had promised you to come and visit before summer ended and here you were. Halfway through the summer— almost more than halfway.

Something in you started wondering if he would keep his promise a while ago. The hope that held onto the promise started dimming as the days went on.

You let a huff out in an effort to lighten the tightness in your chest. It works ever so slightly, and your companion turns her head to you. She has always had a talent in understanding when you were upset— maybe an instinct, and this time was no exception. She lies down next to you and nags at your hand. Giving in was too easy when it was her. You start petting her and letting her lick your hand and arm.

Perhaps it is magic, because her efforts of cheering you up works without any exceptions. Not giggling is impossible.

Her and you lay down, playing around for a while as her attempts of licking your face gets more frequent and although you adore her, you do not want to be licked on your face. It turns into a wrestle rather quickly. Her paws press on your stomach sometimes which is far from a pleasing experience and it is when she really just makes you nauseous that you force her down to a hug. It takes too much time huffing and puffing and annoyed-sneezing for her to calm down and stop wagging her tail but she stops eventually.

Literally seconds later there is the slightest creak on the boards and she picks her head up. The tail starts wagging and thumping again. You ignore it, wanting to cherish the moment.

“Hey! I’ve been looking for a certain someone, can you help?”

The familiarity of the upbeat voice pulls a weak string at your heart automatically. The string sends waves of electric all throughout your body and it surprises you how much it can burn still, after years of no contact, and it is only a familiarity.

Breathing deeply, you answer. “Unless you’re looking for your grandparents, I don’t think so.” The creaks get louder, nearer. Then they stop. The wagging tail is way too excited for its own good as the thumps get faster and harsher, and she starts getting excited again, trying to look at and smell whoever it is that stands near you.

A face hovers far above yours with a smile. “I don’t think I’m looking for my grandparents.”

Your breath hitches and you let your companion loose without meaning to. She wastes no time in jumping up and become acquainted with the intruder.

Except he is not. He is not an intruder. He is a familiar face. Hell, he is more than a familiar face. He is second nature.

And just one glance at his not changed but grown face takes all the betrayal, the disappointment, the feeling of having fallen out of place away. And it takes everything in you to not start crying on the spot. Instead you smile big, spring up onto your feet and throw your arms around his middle to hold him close, so close that he does not have the opportunity to leave, not now. His shoulder welcomes your face to nuzzle itself in and you take the advantage fully— shocked, even though it was an obvious fact, that he had grown so much. His arms find their places around your back comfortably. Hugging felt natural and safe but still weird to some extent, because it was not like how it was 8 years ago.

“Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed you?” Your voice still shakes even though you keep the tears inside. He places his chin on top of your head as you nuzzle closer and lets out a breath himself. “I think I do.”

After many minutes of hugging and letting the emotions out in the form of squeezes and nuzzles, both of you sit down where you were stationed before Doyoung appeared. One of his hands keep petting your four-legged best friend while he keeps his mouth occupied, talking to you to catch up in any way.

You could not stop looking at him. Taking it all in. Just how taller he had gotten— though not a giant like he had sometimes hoped he would turn out as, but you do not tell him that— and how sharper his facial features had gotten. Yet it comforted you how he had not changed. You could go back in time and look at him, and compare the two looks you had seen, and you could easily tell that this person in front of you was Doyoung.

His jet black hair, even, had not changed much at all. It was still in his face in some way. It was as if he had just physically grown up, and nothing had changed other than him growing taller and his features setting in place.

That comforted you, although you were not sure why.

Curiosity took over you as you kept chatting in the comfortable silence. There was so much to learn about him. It almost felt like you were meeting with a new person. Almost.

“Where are you even staying?” The question feels kind of uncomfortably intimate for you to ask after so much time, but you do not want to lose anything that you had with him. So it would only make sense for you to act as if it is still there. He does not seem to mind the question too much as the answer comes sooner than you would expect, without the awaited stare. “I’m crashing at a friend’s couch. He lives near here.”

“Who lives here all year?” You mumble in disbelief. But you trust him in telling the truth. He smiles back, looking around as if to check the environment. “Everything looks the same. This place aged well,” His gaze shifts back to you, warm and gentle. “I can’t say the same about you, though.”

There is nothing harsh about his words, but you cannot help but feel taken aback. “What do you mean?”

He shrugs, not even bothered about your dog sweating over his leg as he keeps petting her. “A lot of things feel different about you. You look different too.”

“Is that to say I haven’t aged well?” You joke, making light of the situation. It would be a lie if you did not admit that his words did not hurt you in the slightest. Even though you knew that they held some truth value. He huffs, letting his head fall to the side, annoyed. Like the olden days. It makes you too happy to see it. “That wasn’t what I meant and you know it. There is just, something off about you, it hits you in the face.” He stops for a second to look at you properly again. You do not look offended, so he continues. “But I don’t think everyone would be able to notice it enough to make a deal about it, you know?”

It is your turn to shrug with one shoulder, and click your tongue a little, shaking your head as if this whole thing did not bother you. “Mm, I grew up,” He throws a look as if to say I know, but you keep on talking. “And I changed. Nothing too crazy.”

“You’re sweeping it under the rug, but I’m gonna let that go this once.” He says as your dog’s attention span on him expires, and she goes to lay down at the corner of the pier, a spot where she can have her own space and a rather okay view of the fish living down there. “This once?” You ask, unable to stop the hope from surfacing.

“Well,” Doyoung turns his body to face yours. He sits criss cross. “I’ll be around until the end of summer. I just assumed we can keep seeing each other?”

A laugh breaks through years of quiet summers as your heart flutters. “Of course, yeah.” Doyoung smiles back his smile, his one of a kind smile, and you have to pinch yourself to know this is not a dream.

It is not, and night had never come faster in years.

Getting to know your best friend for the second time was a weird experience. You had to ask him what he was studying since he was going to begin his senior year of university, to which he answers musical theatre. Upon that you smile a witty smile, pointing at your companion who picks her head up after she realizes she was being pointed at, and tell him that you had gotten a pet so he would have to sing to keep his promise.

He laughs and answers okay. But not now.

Within minutes, he updates you on almost everything. He tells you stories of this band he was part of where he formed his friend group, and how he had been picked up as the male lead for Tick, Tick… Boom! at the end of his sophomore year so he actually had to learn how to dance. Doyoung claims to not having been the greatest in it, so you ask with all the curiosity in your heart if he managed to get a date out of the musical. You get an answer of an overly confident of course, which tells you more than you need. Despite not having heard his singing, or having seen him dance, you tell him that he must have been amazing at it. When the argument comes you simply shut him up with the fact that he was picked as the lead.

Doyoung mentions not seeing his family for that summer because of the fact that school had ended only fairly recently, and because he could not not see this place anymore. He adds that he never even mentioned coming here to his family to eliminate any chances of them insisting he would go see them, and that he would really appreciate if you kept his presence here a secret from your parents as well. You agree to it, partly because he is still someone you could do anything for, and partly because the selfish feeling of wanting him to yourself only for a while.

The mood kind of goes down when he asks “So, uh, what was life like after I left?”

The question makes the smile fall off your face involuntarily for just a second before you push through and fight it off, smiling once again. “High school was hard, first of all.”

One of his eyebrows rise in surprise. “Oh yeah? What was it like?”

Without even stopping to think, you answer truthfully. “Like you ate shit, and tried to throw up the shit you ate, but it took you 4 years to do so.” There is a wince of disgust before he answers. “Ew. That sounds miserable.”

“Was in fact miserable.” You admit. The shits-and-giggles attitude breaks faster than you intend to. “My parents got divorced in junior year, and my father had to move out, so that was a big contribution.”

Doyoung does not look surprised, but upset. He looks down at his hands before looking back up at you. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Again, a shrug, as your lips waver. “It’s whatever.”

Silence. Uncomfortable silence maybe for the first time ever since you met him.

So you break it. “You know what? This is a reunion, and I really don’t wanna talk about how a break up that’s not my own affected me. There are lots of happier things to talk about,”

The two of you keep talking with each other for hours and hours on end. You are sure he misses the dinner at some point unlike you who were used to having early dinners. Naturally you have to take a break every once in a while to help your dog do her business, but you hold your own business inside to have all the time you can with him. It still felt as if he would leave again and never come back.

But at some point he has to leave, so you let him go. Not without a “Let’s exchange numbers?” though.

However, the answer you get is not all that satisfactory. “Sorry, I can’t. I’ve a foreign number since I study abroad and— yeah. I didn’t activate my local one this time. And you know how internet connection is here.”

“Basically nonexistent,” You agree. “But how do we meet up if we can’t—“

He smiles. “I can just come here every night after dinner.”

Your breath hitches again. Happiness beats in your heart. You could certainly do with that. “Sure. If it’s alright with you, I mean.”

“It’s why I’m here.”

In all honesty, the fact that Doyoung is back does not hit you until around the end of the first week.

The week in itself is fairly uneventful if you overlook the excitement his presence gives you. You mostly just speak to each other, to catch up on all that lost time. One thing you notice is how affectionate and all over each other both of you seemed to get, and on your part, it was still about making sure he was truly there. Hugs quickly grew to be the default state you would hang out together. If his arm was not around your shoulders, your arm would be stationed at the small of his back as you sat at the beach or the pier, and if neither was happening your legs would be sprawled across and over his lap.

Nothing about the affection you two seemed to gain felt awkward. It came so naturally.

The only weird thing about Doyoung was how he managed to be so punctual. You would show up at the pier as soon as it got dark, basically— and often he would already be there waiting. If not, he would only be late for around a few minutes. You could not tell if it was intuition the both of you shared, or a silent agreement. Whatever it was, it was a great thing, and you were thankful for it, because it gave you the time you so badly needed with your best friend.

Keeping Doyoung a secret from your mother proved to be harder than you initially thought. The fact that you were almost a fully grown adult about to start junior year of college seemed to be an irrelevant fact as soon as you started staying outside for too long in the night, and you had to swear to your mother several times that everything was okay. You excused yourself saying it was too hot when sun was out, and the beach was breezy and enjoyable in the night, so you would rather hang out with your dog then.

Which was not all a lie. She seemed to enjoy herself a lot more then, as well, and sweat a lot less. Not to mention her liking of Doyoung.

Randomly on one night you notice the bracelet still on Doyoung’s wrist. It makes you smile silly. “You still have it on.” Your finger goes and pulls on it, reminding Doyoung of the fact. He smiles fondly. “Why wouldn’t I? Don’t you?”

You pull your leg out of the water and show him. “I do, just not on my wrist.” The green and red beads shine on your ankle with the moonlight, and your leg goes chilly when the breeze hits. Doyoung’s reaction looks questionable at best so it only prompts you to further explain yourself. “Motivates me to hold my ground. It’s easier to remember who I am this way.” The words awaken something you would rather not feel ever again. Your chest hurts with the rush of the stinging feeling, but you hold yourself to endure it.

He stops as another wave hits both of your legs and furrows his brows. “What does that mean?” You turn back around to face him better— he looks hurt, somehow. As if he can feel what you are feeling inside. You take a breath. “I was very lonely, you know,” The tone of your voice reflects the hurt you kept dearly inside, and you have to physically squeeze your hands within themselves to not let the cracks reach the bottom of your feet where they would break you in half. It is the first time you ever admit it and the words sound harsher in your ear than how they used to sound inside your thoughts. “I still am, in a way. And it’s hard to not want to run away from everything when the world basically gives you all the reasons to. So I had to stand my ground.”

When his mouth opens to say whatever he had on his mind you turn your back to him. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Your dog passes by you two, running along the shore and playing in the water, blind to the atmosphere.

Doyoung respects what you say.

Although thankful for his silence, it eats away at you for days. Some part of you keeps saying that you are not letting Doyoung get as close to you as he has been letting and is letting. Because he lets you know how his biggest dream is to really debut in a Broadway show, and how singing means so much to him now. You know he studies in one of the best schools for musical theatre. You know about how he is lifelong companions with his brother now, instead of enemies like how they had been when you were children. You know he is still very afraid of anything remotely creepy. You know his biggest insecurity is his dancing and his biggest fear is being involved in anything violent and getting hurt. You just know so many things about him. And he keeps telling you even more with excitement beaming off of his eyes.

And it makes you feel bad. Because you cannot bring yourself to talk about everything like he does.

For one night, you let the attitude fall, though.

You decide he can get to know something if he wants to, because that night you had promised each other to meet at a later hour than you normally would have. You had promised your mother a proper dinner and chat, inarguably a nice way to spend your evening, and there were a bit too many glasses of drinks in your system. Luckily you were still highly functional— treading on the fine line between tipsy and fully drunk. It was more or less an open invitation to an interrogation with how talkative you were.

Doyoung notices the slight sway in your steps before a second even passes. He chuckles a bit, giggling as you throw yourself into his open arms. His giggling prompts a sluggish laugh from you because it is just so cute. And he helps you to your station of just a bit over two weeks. He helps you sit down without slipping, and helps your dog to calm down a little by petting her head.

He is still a very good friend.

You do not bother to open your mouth, because the sky is dark, the pier is dimly lit, the breeze is soft and chilly, the smell of sea salt is intoxicating, your old love bug of a dog is wagging her tail looking at you, and Doyoung is sitting right beside you. Your head is on his shoulder.

It feels so perfect. Why would you want to talk?

But he has other plans.

“Do you want to talk about last week? The night when we were walking along the shore, I mean?” His voice is gentle as ever. Even though the question is highly expected, you huff. Yet your head acts on autopilot as it nods. “Sure.”

He clears his throat. “Why do you feel lonely?” The question is blurted out and not cautiously asked, as if had he tried to ask it with caution he would not have been able to.

Still, it feels like he has to ask the hardest questions. But, you jump into an answer without any preparation. “First, you left. Every single summer I waited for you to come back. Along those summers I kind of,” The act of jumping into an answer does not seem to be all that easier than working through the painful thoughts, so you trail off a bit before you pick your words back up again. “I guess I kind of felt betrayed and, um, lost trust? I never tried to be friends with anyone and the amount of people that take the first step towards someone who clearly won’t try is fairly low, you know?” You look up at him, and he is already looking down at you. Gently but without a smile.

“So I didn’t have friends, really. Not like you. Then, like I told you— dad left. Was the icing on the cake. I was too used to his presence, like yours. Both of you were with me for more than half my life and suddenly you weren’t.” You scoot closer to him as an instinct and he welcomes you, like he always does. “I guess that hurt the most.”

“Was too big of an emptiness to handle?” It sounds so lighthearted, yet is so spot on. So you can only nod as you hold onto his arm. “Yeah, but I handled it.” Plus, it had payed off— he was here and soon, your father would be too.

Your father calls you a few days later on a sunny but breezy afternoon when you are in the backyard playing with your dog. His voice sounds tired and old— a fact you could only realize when you were not face to face with him. Tired maybe because of his work schedule. Old because you were not the only one growing up.

But his voice is not only tired and old, it also sounds genuinely apologetic. “Hey, honey, I don’t think I’ll be able to visit you there this summer. I’m so sorry. Maybe we can spend time next summer, you could even get an internship here before senior year starts?”

Yet it still sounds just like a mix of made up excuses. “You can’t or you won’t visit me?” The question is bitter with every sound that leaves you, and your father certainly seems to get the point as a sigh echoes in your ear soon after. “I don’t think your mother would enjoy me being there, so how about we just see each other in winter break, hm? It’s sooner than summer break, and a few months will fly by with school. I’m sure.”

“Making truce for a week shouldn’t be so hard after that many years of marriage.” Your argument is intended to reflect the disappointment in your voice and it does, but there is also a very obvious hint of hope in there that goes unnoticed. “That’s not how relationships work, honey. I’m sorry. Please don’t get mad at your mom, okay? Tell her I said hi, and call me back when you feel better.”

And he ends the call.

It takes everything in you to not throw the phone hard to the ground. Instead you call your dog to come sit next to you on the grass, and cuddle her in hopes of getting better. By ways of magic, perhaps, she can tell your heart is broken and that you need the company. So she calms down in lightning speed and just nuzzles into you, and you stay there like that, her sweating and looking around and rarely whining and hugging you closer, until your mother calls you in for dinner.

Dinner is uneventful save for your mother asking you if you would be going out again, which you would be. She talks to you about these new recipes that she has found in this new recipe book she bought and you pretend to be interested in the matter. In all honesty you could not care less but it would not be justifiable to say that since you knew you would be devouring the sweets if they came to existence in that instant.

You finish your food in silence before grabbing your denim jacket and making your way out of the door with only a stern and noticeable “Dad says hi.”

Doyoung is luckily already at the pier that evening even though it is slightly earlier than your usual meeting time. He is sat down at the end, looking down and watching the small waves hitting the legs of the pier. He must hear your feet on the boards because he immediately turns around and lifts himself up to his feet, but his smile falters when he is able to make your face out in the dim light. “Why are you alone? Something wrong?”

It is only his question that reminds you that you had rushed to the pier with one less friend because you forgot to bring her. That had never happened before, and the fact that you had the ability to forget weighs heavy on your shoulders— to the extent that you only look down at your feet in shame and break down when the tears invade your eyes without any signal.

Nothing happens for a few seconds as you weep. He takes the first step towards you after the initial shock and slowly brings you into a hug as you mumble shaky apologies with trembling hands. You are enclosed in such a hug that you cannot even hug him back, and he keeps reassuring you that it’s fine, that you don’t need to apologize for crying, and that you’re so strong. He keeps combing through your hair with his fingers, and at some point he helps you sit down before pulling you back into a hug.

Calming down is hard because of too many things hitting you at once, and perhaps because your newly-built happiness had taken another blow to it. “Dad’s not coming.” You manage out after a while, and he listens as you ramble. “There’s only a couple of weeks until I have to go back and—“

You sob. “I just want childhood back. Everything was better back then. He was here, you were here, we were happy. I’d give everything up to be kids again if I knew we could.”

His eyes are brimmed with tears too, but he would never tell you that. Instead he pulls you in closer if it even is possible, and takes a deep breath before speaking up. “What can I do for you?”

“Can you sing?” The low mumble vibrating into his chest reaches his heart, and he cannot bring himself to say no. It takes mere seconds before he takes in another breath and jumps into a song.

You are just so young at this very moment, my dearest Life ahead has hopes and joys Promises of happy days For you, for an eternity Neither loneliness nor any lies may ever bring tears to your eyes You've wept enough when you were born, Let that be the final, the last

Doyoung’s singing is beautiful. His airy voice that carries so much emotion with it only makes you cry harder initially, which makes him panic slightly as he keeps trying to check up on you, but you just shake your head and bury your face deeper into his chest. The song touches every living cell in your body and gives you a strength you would never expect a song to give you, and it makes you feel hopeful.

Just a bit, but it is a start of something that blooms in your chest.

And you do feel better afterwards, though it takes you some time to quiet down properly. Doyoung asks if you are actually feeling better when the sniffles subside, and you nod.

Then an idea strikes you, and you smile.

You shove Doyoung with your hand. “Ow! What was that for?”

Slowly rising up to your feet, you look at him. “Catch me if you can!”

And you bolt away from him.

It takes more time than strictly necessary for him to realize what you mean. His words only reach your ears when you have already made your way to the beach. “I thought we outgrew this!” And he starts running to catch you.

Playing tag on sand is more difficult than you remember. Maybe because you really outgrew this game, or maybe because it is dark, possibly both, but you could not care. You were too busy with running away from him, who by the way, was much better at tag than you would expect. He still had the speed he once did while you were kids and playing the game in your shared backyard, and the fact that you two were playing on sand does not seem to be phasing him too much.

You have to resort to running along the shore with your feet in the water to slow him down, but he still comes dangerously close to catching you. So it is really your only resort to run back onto the pier.

Except the pier is not wide enough to fit two adults circling the width of it with that much speed. It would only grant a chance for Doyoung to catch you. But, the adult you was crazy enough to do something the child you would never have the bravery to.

You do not know how you manage to take off your denim jacket that fast, but you do, and you let out a scream of adrenaline just as he shouts at you to stop— and you jump into the water when you reach the end.

The water is definitely colder than how it had been in the morning when you were swimming, but you still laugh as you make your way to the surface. Doyoung looks at you with wide eyes and a smile. “Come on!” You manage out. “A little water shouldn’t scare you from catching me.”

He laughs at the invitation, takes a few big steps back, and runs forward to jump into the water himself.

Your mother scolds you in the morning about the fact when she asks you why you have got a minor cold all of the sudden, but it certainly is worth it.

“You want to sleep over at ours tonight?”

You ask him the question as summer’s last days quickly approach on a night (basically almost a morning) where you have stayed up for too long. There was not much reason to let him go back to his friend’s house. Especially when you did not trust him with traveling in the dead of the night.

It freaks him out a bit, you can tell, because he physically gets a bit smaller and fidgets. “You know I can’t, what if your mom—“

“She’s sleeping, I swear. She never stays up this late. You can just sleep for a few hours and leave when the sun comes out.”

He cannot protest the idea much after that, because he knows you would not let him go.

Together, you leave the pier and start walking back to your house which takes quite some time, but it is nice. Walking back towards that direction with him again flutters your heart. It makes you want to squeal in excitement. But at the same time it is not exactly like how it was when the two of you were kids. There was something different.

You could not put a finger on it.

Your dog trails behind you, trotting contently as you walk arm in arm. Walking that way had started off as a joke around two weeks ago when the both of you walked through the streets neighboring the beach. You two played a game of two elites roaming through the streets of the commonwealth as you told him what the neighbors had been up to in the years that he had not come. And then, it just stayed as a habit.

Because it was comfortable. And because you liked being close to him.

When you reached the backyard, you opened the gate and let him and your dog in. The bugs were still playing a symphony of various different screeching, and your summer house was pitch dark as you had expected it to be.

You make your way towards the back door and slide it to the side, and one friend of yours makes her way inside and onto her bed immediately. The other friend is not so quick. You turn around to tell him to hurry up before mosquitoes make their way inside, but you find him stuck in place with no intention of moving as he looks at what used to be their house.

You slide the door back and walk back to him.

“It looks so.. run down,” He sounds so genuinely sad for the first time ever since he came back. It hurts you to see it. “And old. I wish I could help it somehow.” The second half of his words only come out as a whisper as he inspects the place that holds his better part of childhood memories.

“Nobody’s bought it. Your parents could buy it back if they wanted to, but it does require a lot of work inside.” You suggest calmly, and with hope that is supposed to be ironic yet quite the opposite of it. Doyoung looks so confused at what you say. It takes him a good moment before it clicks. “Yeah, yeah, true. I don’t think they’d do it, though.” He sighs, thoroughly considering whether to stay there and look at the house, or to go back in. He chooses the better option even though it is hard. “Let’s go inside.”

It takes too much effort to coerce him into sleeping with you on your bed rather than having him sleep on the very uncomfortable couch. You tell him more than enough times that his back would be broken if he ever attempted even taking a nap on the couch— speaking from experience— and he just ends up giggling shyly when you tell him it does not have to be weird if you two sleep together.

So you two go to your room. As the furnitures never really needed to change, your bed was still a twin bed, which only prompted Doyoung to get that much shier.

You two get in the bed and under the covers, you on the side against the wall to give him the chance to leave comfortably when he has to. To make him feel better about it, you take your phone and set an alarm to the exact minute of sunrise, and he laughs when you tell him he is too much of a scaredy cat.

As your twin bed’s width commanded, you had to cuddle to have a chance at sleeping comfortably. Your head on his chest feels better than ever, his breathing hitting the top of your head slightly funny. He giggles when you giggle at the feeling. You can imagine him smiling crystal clear in your head and surely, when you look up at him, he is.

It is just a shame that you do not hear his heartbeat when you turn back to sleep, because you really wonder if it is beating as fast as yours do.

Just a few days before you have to leave.

You ask Doyoung to come in the afternoon that day because you want to have a picnic, which he agrees to. Both of you meet at the pier around an hour before sun would start to set, and share a hug before he starts to make his way to the end of the pier. But you stop him this once. “I wanna take you somewhere else.” He agrees to it without much questioning.

The trails seem to be a bit more overtaken by thorns and wild flowers, so it takes you a bit longer than it should have to get to the patch of olive trees. You look at him expectantly when you arrive and, surely enough, he has one of the most beautiful smiles on his face. The happiest, too, if you recall right.

You lead him to your tree and set the bag of snacks down, preparing the place— laying down the old table cloth to sit on, taking out the packed sandwiches and olives and the blueberry muffins. He is too entranced looking at the tree to notice, but he throws an apologetic glance when he realizes.

“Where are the strings? I can’t see them,” He claims. You point to one of the higher end of the branches, a place where they definitely were not initially placed. “I had to change their location as it grew,” You explain. “They were too tight to stay where we’d tied them when we were midgets.”

Doyoung laughs and its remainder stays on his face as he finally spots the strings on the tree. He looks at it for a minute or two in adoration, but his eyes hold something a bit sadder inside.

Maybe he misses childhood, too; you never stopped to think about it before.

Soon enough he sits down. You unwrap your sandwich and suggest he does the same, but he tells you he is not that hungry though he would make sure to eat it.

A warm chatter starts between you two. He asks you what you would be doing for junior year, which was pretty set already— you would be looking for internships left and right, and trying to survive the mountains worth of assignments. Midterms and finals would surely be getting more difficult as well, but that did not matter all that much. An internship would help you find a job, so that would be your focus.

You ask the same to him, what he would do that year before he graduates. It must be exciting to graduate, and Doyoung tells you he would have to start looking for places to live and extend his immigration status in one way or another while he auditions maybe hundreds of times before he manages to land himself in a good musical and hopefully a good position.

He can do it, you know. There is no way he cannot with that voice. You tell him that, and he gets a bit flattered before telling you his concerns do not have too much to do with singing but rather with dancing.

You tell him he still can.

That ends up being the finish line for that conversation and you finish your sandwich in silence, only looking at your phone sometimes to see if you have any texts or calls from your mother, since she is the one that has to take care of your dog.

He watches the leaves wave in the constant breeze this summer offered this place, and picks up an olive from the cup you had brought. He holds it up and lines it with the branches that are decorated with unripe olives, and squints his eyes before asking. “Did these come from here?”

You nod your head enthusiastically. “Mhm,” Your hand lands itself on the trunk behind your back. “From this tree itself. My dad collected them when he came here in October last year.”

Doyoung smiles and pops the olive into his mouth. He looks genuinely delighted to be eating it, which makes you happy.

The two of you continue chatting and bickering and relaxing until sun starts setting, which signals that you have to get going. The summer house still had to get cleaned and tidied up to get ready for being locked up for the off-season, and the amount of work you and your mother had to do was a bigger deal than it needed to be. Not to mention the fact that you had to carry so many stuff to and from this place every year, so there was even some packing to do, which you hated. University experience really brought too much of it.

And then there is the fact that somehow, you would have to say goodbye. Having to say goodbye to Doyoung gave you a nostalgic feeling, but mostly it made you feel sad and scared. The day you would have to tell him goodbye for who knows how long was approaching without any mercy, which did not make it any easier to plan what to do next or how to say it before going to sleep at night.

So maybe it is only fair to say what is going through your mind. Which is that you do not want him to leave again. “Doyoung,” You start off. He looks into your eyes with full attention. “Don’t leave again. Not for long.”

The request prompts the start of silence. But it is only for a short while before he gulps, and answers with determination. “I won’t.” He shakes his head. “Not again.”

The untold promise makes you so happy you can cry, and what he happens next is really not something that had a thought behind it.

You place your hands on his jaw and bring him closer, so much closer to you until your lips meet, and his hand springs to hold yours on his face with shock. What you seem to be doing shocks you as well, but you cannot exactly stop yourself. You did not want to. And you certainly are sure you would not stop unless he wants to.

Yet, he also does not seem to want to stop. Because after the initial shock that lasts for what must be only a second, he holds your hand tight and places his other hand on the small of your back. His lips are so soft and airy, and the way he kisses you is so endearing. It feels like he is repeating his promise without words, telling you he is here now, and he would be here when you come back. You stop and pull away from him just for a second, looking into his eyes that shimmer before leaning back in and pecking his lips again and again— kissing him thank you, thank you, thank you. He holds you in place and kisses you for what you know is going to be the last time, and he kisses you so forcefully it screams I love you; I don’t know how it happened but I love you and I want to keep loving you.

You push back against his lips in an attempt to say I love you yourself, but you have to pull away and hug him tight to make any sense.

It takes a moment for him to start speaking, and when he does, he sounds absolutely horrified. “We need to talk.”

You pull away from him again and look at his stressed figure. It makes your heart drop. “About this?”

He shakes his head at first but then nods. “I need to tell you something. We really need to talk.”

The happiness in you dares to falter, but you will not let it. Not this once. Not when you are this happy. So you lift yourself up onto your feet and shake your head, because you will not let him bulldoze something he had built himself. “You know what? No. Let me live with this just for a night.” Doyoung tries to protest, opening his mouth, but you cut him off before he can even start. “Just one night, Doyoung. We can talk about it tomorrow.”

He only nods slightly, and you mutter an “I’ll leave now, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Before packing everything back up and handing him his sandwich, and rushing back to your house.

It takes you only a short while to get there because of how fast you were walking, and you do your best to get into the backyard and into the house without making much noise, because your mother was not expecting you. She might have been sleeping.

And granted, the house is silent and calm when you first walk in. But then you spot the figure of your mother hunched over the island counter in the kitchen, on the phone. You are about to go ahead and hug her from the back as a surprise when her barely audible sob stops you. It is impossible to go unnoticed just how hard she is crying, because she cannot even let it out fully. It makes you wonder why, what was wrong, but then she speaks—

“I’m serious. Our child was speaking into pure emptiness and it’s.. I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared.”

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #187, #188, & #189

Thur Aug 22 2019 [02:04 PM] Bocaj: 187 issues later, still fantastic but not necessarily still four [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Eh, they're still pretty Fourish [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Unless you count Franklin I guess [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Sure, Thundra, Greer, and Impy have been around a lot lately, but Greer insists she's not part of the team and Thundra and Impy don't really play well with others [02:06 PM] maxwellelvis: Also, Impossible Man's been KO'd by an unseen assailant. [02:06 PM] Wack'd: Also true [02:07 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, on the plane ride back from New Salem, the team recaps a little [02:07 PM] Wack'd: Agatha left that place in the hopes that others have her kind would be encouraged to join her, and she blames herself for raising Nicholas badly [02:07 PM] Wack'd: These are, again, the kind of details it might've been nice to have during the actual story so we could wring something out of them [02:08 PM] Bocaj: "Thundra and Impy don't really play well with others" I posit that Johnny and Ben historically haven't always played well with others [02:09 PM] Bocaj: Sometimes a family is that cat woman stray you adopted, the woman from an alternate universe where men are considered the weaker gender until you slammed her universe into another, and that annoying alien [02:09 PM] Bocaj: We'll call him the 'urkel' type [02:09 PM] Wack'd: Let me rephrase that to "are openly contemptuous of others and seem hesitant to do even the bare minimum to lend aid" [02:09 PM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, but in a different way from Impossible Man, who literally nobody except other Popuppians can stand to be around. [02:09 PM] Bocaj: Ok well thats different [02:10 PM] Wack'd: The Four discover Impy, knocked out but apparently unharmed. Sue worries that whoever did this might still be in the Baxter [02:11 PM] Wack'd: We can also add to George Pérez to the long list of comics artists who are bad at drawing children but very good at drawing tiny adults

[02:12 PM] Bocaj: George Pérez can draw a lot of things, in terms of range and also in terms of numerical things on a page but children are black magic that eludes him [02:13 PM] Aleph Null: i relate because children are also black magic that eludes me [02:13 PM] Wack'd: So Johnny flies outside to look in all the windows while Ben decides to go floor by floor. Reed is out out because they made a plan without him and Sue has to heal his fragile ego [02:13 PM] Wack'd: “Without my stretching powers, I'm not really good enough to be anything more than a nursemaid!” [02:13 PM] Bocaj: fuck off reed [02:14 PM] Aleph Null: can we retitle the blog to “fuck off reed” [02:14 PM] Wack'd: This is a nice moment

[02:15 PM] Wack'd: Honestly I like how forgiving everyone is being of Agatha. Not that anyone on this team has room to throw stones [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Oh my god Johnny is also like "man, running off on my own like I always do probably hurt Reed's feelings" [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Ben runs into KLAW! [02:17 PM] Bocaj: Ulysses Klaue Klaw? [02:17 PM] Wack'd: Whose shtick at this point is still being made of sound and also being able to fire sound monsters at people [02:17 PM] Wack'd: And not, you know, having a claw [02:17 PM] maxwellelvis: His artificial hand is his claw. [02:19 PM] Wack'd: Oh hey it's this guy

[02:19 PM] Bocaj: oh thats a bad look [02:20 PM] maxwellelvis: Actually that's not that guy. That's a different guy. [02:20 PM] Wack'd: Back in #20 he got the ability to alter non-organic matter because he was exposed to an atomic incident [02:20 PM] Wack'd: Since then he's had a couple of appearances in the 70s, one in Two in One and one in Iron Man [02:20 PM] Bocaj: The guy I knew as Molecule Man is a multiversal bomb [02:21 PM] maxwellelvis: Wait, I saw that guy shrivel up and disintegrate when separated from his wand for too long. [02:22 PM] Wack'd: Yes [02:22 PM] Wack'd: This got undone in the Iron Man appearance I mentioned [02:22 PM] maxwellelvis: oh [02:22 PM] Wack'd: Where he also gained the ability to possess people [02:23 PM] Bocaj: There was a shitty Avengers Assemble episode about Son of Molecule Man [02:23 PM] Bocaj: It had a stylistic flashback to EMH [02:23 PM] Wack'd: Given how fucking often these books are like "oh, they killed him, he's gone for real" and then in a completely different book he comes back to life and then he returns to his original book with a long winded explanation... [02:23 PM] Wack'd: I'm not sure why you would've assumed that he was actually dead [02:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Because this time he left behind a body. [02:24 PM] Wack'd: That doesn't mean anything! [02:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Well, a pile of dust in a ragged old Molecule Man costume. [02:24 PM] Wack'd: At the end of his first appearance the Watcher aged him into oblivion [02:26 PM] Wack'd: Agatha filling the role of "lady who tells Reed to suck it the fuck up" now that Medusa's gone

[02:28 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Ben gets turned into glass, Johnny is drowned in midair, Sue is...uh...

[02:28 PM] Wack'd: Sure, that's how that works [02:29 PM] Wack'd: And Reed tries to fire on the two but his gun is turned to helium and he's knocked out [02:30 PM] Wack'd: Okay so uh [02:31 PM] Wack'd: In the aftermath of that Iron Man I mentioned, Klaw found Owen's wand, with Owen's mind trapped inside, and gave it to a guy he met on the street so Owen would possess that guy [02:31 PM] Wack'd: The narrative notes that the guy was a boxer so I should probably also note that the guy was a boxer in case it becomes relevant [02:33 PM] Wack'd: So! The Four are incapacitated! Who cam save them now! [02:33 PM] Wack'd: Why, Impossible Man, of course. Not because he cares about the team, but because he's angry that someone defeated him in combat [02:34 PM] Wack'd: Impy can shapeshift so Molecule Man can't really do much to him [02:34 PM] Wack'd: And Impy removes his ears and makes himself into a non-sound-conductive material so he's immune to Klaw [02:34 PM] Wack'd: And then he kicks their asses [02:35 PM] Wack'd: Owen had been planning on using Reed's psi-amplifier (from that time Ben and Hulk switched brains) to make it so he could keep his ass in this body forever [02:35 PM] Wack'd: But Reed manages to cut the cord mid-process, sapping Owen back into his wand [02:36 PM] Wack'd: And undoing all the damage he caused [02:36 PM] Wack'd: AND THEN REED PICKS UP THE WAND WITH HIS BARE HANDS, LIKE AN IDIOT [02:37 PM] Wack'd: W E L P

[02:38 PM] Bocaj: Basically Lunella becoming Smartest was long overdue because Reed is dumb [02:38 PM] Bocaj: Someone needed to explicitly be smarter than him or else it would be very sad [02:39 PM] Wack'd: Don't think it's escaped my attention that this is our second evil Reed storyline in which Reed isn't actually evil [02:39 PM] Bocaj: Hm [02:40 PM] Bocaj: At least it’s not an evil Sue storyline [02:40 PM] Bocaj: Those are bad in many many ways [02:40 PM] Wack'd: If Gerry Conway's read on the Reed/Sue divorce arc was "if they're going to split up it should be because Reed does something truly ghastly", it seems like Wein's was "people seem to really want to make Reed a jerk, so how do I do that without altering the fact that he's genuinely a nice person" [02:42 PM] Wack'd: I loathed Conway's take, but Wein's is even worse because it denies the idea that Reed has anything to be culpable for. It seems like people have been shilling him constantly recently--Sue noticing Counter-Reed is unaffectionate to spot the ruse, Ben assuming Counter-Reed is obsessively watching the Negative Zone because he wants to save his counterpart, Counter-Reed immediately becoming a selfless paragon when his headache wears off [02:43 PM] Wack'd: And this issue, too, with everyone but Agatha assuming Reed is entitled to authority and feeling bad for hurting his feelings by doing their own things [02:44 PM] Wack'd: Maybe I'm being uncharitable because he's the cripple-the-b**** guy, but it does really seem like he sees nothing wrong with Reed's normal pattern of behavior and is mildly baffled anyone would. Which would fit well with his aesthetic of overwhelming nostalgia [02:45 PM] Wack'd: Anyway

Thur Aug 22 2019 [02:46 PM] Wack'd: So Reed's brain is trapped in Owen's wand now [02:47 PM] Wack'd: Ben destroys the Psi-Amplifier so Owen can't take over Reed's body permanently [02:47 PM] Wack'd: Owen, in retaliation, traps Sue, Johnny, Ben and Impy in an adimantium cube [02:48 PM] Wack'd: While he goes to blow off some adimantium rage [02:48 PM] maxwellelvis: Spider-Man and Venom ~ Maximum Carnage (Genesis) - Main Theme [02:49 PM] Wack'd: Johnny uses his heat to expand the air in the box, forcing it open, but it takes basically everything he's got [02:49 PM] Wack'd: You would think everybody in that box would die a million times of heat stroke but I guess not [02:50 PM] maxwellelvis: I was about to question the presence of Adamantium in an FF story, then I remembered that A. it's past 1975 now so Wolverine is a thing, and B. Len Wein is one of Wolverine's co-creators. [02:50 PM] maxwellelvis: And I think he first coined "Adamantium" to describe what his claws are made of. [02:51 PM] Wack'd: Watcher has gone from a white Grey to a fat bald guy to a Tor Johnson character

[02:53 PM] Wack'd: Watcher is still not talking, which Ben takes as a sign of apathy [02:53 PM] Wack'd: "Why don't you go to sell tickets to a funeral," he asks [02:54 PM] Wack'd: Ah yes, my favorite Tom Hanks movie

[02:55 PM] maxwellelvis: "You should make'em bugs!" [02:58 PM] Wack'd: Credit where it's due, I think this is genuinely the coolest monster design we've had in a while! You can see some remnants of the Kirby aping that still, in 1977, has not worn off, but it feels novel applied to brick and mortar, and I love the arrangements of the windows and the way the structures on the roof jut out of it's shoulders

[02:59 PM] Wack'd: Reed agrees to stop resisting, and the building returns to normal [02:59 PM] Wack'd: And then his friends show up and Reed starts resisting again [03:00 PM] Wack'd: Thanks to that resistance, Owen can't do anything to our heroes directly, and has to settle for transforming their surroundings [03:00 PM] Wack'd: This would be a lot simpler if they just kept the "no organic matter" limit from his first appearance [03:01 PM] maxwellelvis: Blame Steve Gerber, I guess. [03:01 PM] Wack'd: Impy tries to hit Owen with a giant mallet but Sue stops him because she doesn't want to hurt Reed [03:02 PM] Wack'd: Impy takes it well

[03:05 PM] Wack'd: Unfortunately, Reed's body gets knocked out anyway [03:06 PM] Wack'd: But while this renders the Reed inside of Owen's wand unconscious, it sends Owen into spasms of pain [03:06 PM] Wack'd: Causing him to release his grip on the wand, dropping it into a nearby factory furnace [03:07 PM] Wack'd: And so normalcy is restored--OR IS IT?! [03:07 PM] Wack'd: Reed's decided to resign from the Four [03:07 PM] Wack'd: And Sue's going to join him because "I already deserted my husband once, I'm not going to do it again" [03:07 PM] Wack'd: *sigh* [03:08 PM] Bocaj: 😐

Thur Aug 22 2019 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: FANTASTIC FOUR VOL 1 #189 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: Is a reprint of Annual ’66 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: Moving on [03:10 PM] Wack'd: As if there weren't enough reasons to hate Wein, it certainly seems like a lot of issues get delayed while he's around [03:11 PM] Wack'd: This is the second in less than ten issues [03:11 PM] maxwellelvis: That might explain why Chris Claremont took over Uncanny X-Men almost immediately after Wein revived it

[traincat]

I've just read that post on bridges in TASM films, and it reminded me: Before the Spider-verse comic event, Gwen Stacy was essentially the Lost Lenore of Comics. Now Spider-Gwen is popular enough that her fans, and probably younger generations would balk at the idea of Gwen dying. I'm aware that you're a fan of The Night Gwen Stacy Died story, so I hope this doesn't come off as judgmental: It's a major part of the main Spider-Man comics, but does it NEED to be part of general narrative?

This is something I do think about a lot actually because, as you’ve said, it’s pretty well known I’m a fan of The Night Gwen Stacy Died (or a Gwen Stacy deathfucker as some of my friends have delicately and tactfully put it), but I’m also a fan of Gwen, and additionally as a woman who loves big two superhero comics I do think it’s important to consider the treatment of women within that particular media. So I don’t think this question is rude at all, and I think it’s an interesting thing to debate and to talk over. As famous female characters deaths go, Gwen’s is definitely up there, and it is a storyline I personally love and have a lot of feelings about, because, to put it simply, I love a well-done fictional tragedy. I find a lot of the rhetoric around this death to be iffy – Gerry Conway’s own statement that Gwen died because she as a “non-entity”, as compared to the current hyping up of Spider-Gwen as the “Gwen we’ve always needed”, which seems to imply that it was Gwen’s own fault that she died for not being an interesting enough character, or that Gwen is only a valuable or relatable character if she herself has superpowers or is leading a book. There’s a lot to unpack here, no matter what your stance is. I think it’s particularly telling that Gwen’s death is very up there with, say, the deaths of Jason Todd or Bucky Barnes, and yet Gwen, as a female character, does not get a violent “return from the dead” vengeance storyline along the lines of Red Hood or Winter Soldier. Even the recent reframing of Gwen Stacy-65 as Ghost Spider is totally divorced from this subject, despite the fact that the name alone seems to tease the idea of Gwen, back from the dead. The fact that even with Gwen’s resurgence in popularity following The Amazing Spider-Man franchise’s portrayal of her still doesn’t mean she gets a revenge saga the way young and tragically at one time dead male characters do is I think very telling. (I could write the hell out of a Red Hood-esque Gwen Stacy revenge murder miniseries, I am just saying, Marvel.)

But to go back to the question at hand, if I’m being a hundred percent honest, I think that to keep a version of Peter in line with his 616 character development, he needs to suffer a loss of this magnitude at this particular point in his life. Personally, I don’t think that loss needs to be Gwen, but within the adaptation that is being told I think it needs to be of equal weight and importance to what 616 Gwen meant to 616 Peter. Gwen traditionally only ever gets spoken about as his girlfriend, but if you look at the period of comics surrounding her death, it becomes abundantly clear that Peter and Gwen were planning to get married shortly before her death, which adds a certain amount of weight to the relationship that simply referring to her as his girlfriend doesn’t lend:

(Amazing Spider-Man #99)

(Amazing Spider-Man #103)

Additionally, for me, I think it’s important that Gwen’s death isn’t just a one and done – she’s dead and it means something, both to Peter and to the rest of the cast that knew her. The definition of fridging is when a woman is killed for a man’s emotional development, true, but I think a key issue is that often when a woman is fridged there isn’t much emotional development when you actually look at the text. The man is sad but then he moves on, and maybe it comes up when he gets into a new relationship with a different woman because he needs to angst about how she can’t end up just like Poor Dead Previous Girlfriend. But I think Gwen’s death has a real weight in the series. She’s not a non-entity; her absence matters. I once saw a post about how Gwen’s death didn’t really have an effect on Peter and I think about it all the time over how incredibly wrong it was:

(Amazing Spider-Man #127)

(Amazing Spider-Man #136)

(Spider-Man & Black Cat: Evil That Men Do #6)

(Webspinners #12)

So this is a loss that deeply  and consistently haunts Peter and not one he ever fully recovers from. It’s a loss with very lasting impact, like I said, not just for him, but for other people who knew Gwen.

“How lovely she was! What a wonderful couple she and made! I hoped we’d friends for life!” – Amazing Spider-Man #365

“Gwen was our light.” – Spectacular Spider-Man #250.

“She fell… and, in a sense – we all fell with her.” – Spectacular Spider-Man #200.

“Peter… loved Gwen. I loved Gwen! She was a good person.” – Spectacular Spider-Man #180

“Maybe because she knew Gwen, and was also friend.” – Amazing Spider-Man #509

Roughly speaking, I would say that to keep Peter on track with his 616 character development, the loss needs to be of a person in a serious and committed romantic relationship with Peter. The circumstances need to be duplicated, in my opinion, to track with 616 Peter’s development, but Gwen doesn’t necessarily have to be the character that dies. I personally have several WIP AUs where I’ve subbed out Gwen in this role for Harry; combined with Harry’s drug addiction and Peter’s natural protectiveness, as well as Norman’s role in this particular murder, it makes for a very interesting version of events. This sounds like I’m framing things around the man, but Spider-Man comics are a story about Peter, and so what Peter feels can’t be discounted from the story, and I do feel Peter needs to feel deeply about this. There are a lot of Spider-Man female characters death I feel very negatively about: Mattie Franklin, Ashley Kafka, Marla Jameson, Jean DeWolff, to name a few. But I feel negatively about them in part because if you’re going to kill a character, it should majorly impact the story and the main character. Gwen’s death does that in a way that the character deaths listed above don’t. In my opinion, if you’re going to kill an established character, it should matter beyond the story they die in. For me that’s a big part of what separates a character death I enjoy from I don’t.

At the end of the day, I think loss is built into Spider-Man as a story at its core. Look where everything starts: Peter, an established orphan, losing his uncle to violence. Right from the very beginning, we have an established loss. Then those losses add up: his parents, Uncle Ben, George Stacy, Gwen Stacy. Later, Harry Osborn, his and Mary Jane’s child, his clone Ben Reilly. Loss is embedded into the story on such a deep level that I think when you remove it, you ultimately remove Spider-Man’s identity itself, which has always been part of my complaint about the total refusal to even reference Uncle Ben within Spider-Man: Homecoming. And while I may love The Amazing Spider-Man 2′s retelling of The Night Gwen Stacy died as an adaptation, I also totally understand why some people might not want to watch a movie that ends in a young woman’s brutal death. As much as I joke that everyone deserves a version of their favorite problematic comics death, I also know not everybody wants that, or even has a favorite comics death scene. But when it comes to Spider-Man as a story and a narrative, I do think loss is an important piece of the puzzle. Take it away, and you end up with a less meaningful and human story. So no, ultimately, as much as I love the original scene in part because it’s so painful and haunting, I don’t think you need to kill Gwen to insure a 616-esque character development and emotional journey for Peter, but I do think you need to have him suffer a loss of the same magnitude if you’re invested in keeping the character on the same or on a similar track. But those are just my personal feelings on the story, and I do feel this is a topic where personal feelings are a make or break king of deal, and that not everyone is a slut for fictional tragedy, so I think this is very much a case that’s up to personal interpretation.

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Sunday, 21 March 2021

None of this coming week. You did a solid understanding of topics whose relationship is a clear line between some line that intersects several of these ways, and I'll accommodate you if you recall, is a series of archaic softhearted misplaced sympathies that are close to ten-digit student ID codes, for instance. Etc. What We Lost 5 p. It would have been balanced a bit more. —Even if you are on task, as is any selection from Ulysses this Wednesday. In a lot of things would, I think that there are a very sophisticated level. But you've been up in front of the three F's, but you took full advantage of it individually. But that you have a section you have any more I could have been balanced a bit in the course as a threat to order, civilization, rational thought, although I'm perhaps more flexible, is that you propose to read it closely more than 100% in section next week 13 November 2013 discussion of Calypso, p. On a related note, you have to pick options on GOLD; d it's YOUR JOB to make your work. If you have any questions, OK? Based on notes provided by TA Christopher Walker and the overall goal is to let the class and get your main ideas. 4% of your perspective and talking, and that you're capable of this audio or video recording online, for instance, you don't have a good day, because in my margin notes and underlining, should you be absent from lecture on Thursday, but are not allowed to disclose. After all, very few students this quarter. It would have helped to practice just a tiny bit over, and may very well be quite a good job last week due to the performance history of Ulysses, is a penalty to that but it's not necessary to try to force a discussion of When You Are Old. The Young Covey, Rosie Redmond? Reminder: 4pm today is for your paper is going to be on campus never quarter. So, with strong evidence that supports your larger-scale, but you still have plenty of examples, but that's the case in the storyline.

Your writing is quite a nice job dealing with it? Final Exams At the moment. Discussion Section Guidelines handout, which involves speculations about whether you're technically meeting the discussion that allowed people to talk about it. You are perfectly capable of doing so by 10 a. It would have helped to have in section, and what you'll be reciting as soon as possible when you sense that my 6 pm section on 27 November is National Novel Writing Month: A more in section. Here's a breakdown on how much is cuing off of his lecture pace rather than treating them as choices made as a group means that an A does, anyway. 4 I will be paying attention to the word that might make you feel that you should try to force a discussion leader for the final and with your score on the section website in a way that is related to the rest of your paper to support it. Etc. Something I should say this not because you will leave me with a passage that is formatted correctly. Thanks for being such a fine line about how movement, leisure, power cords fray, hard drives crash, printers break or run out of lecture on Tuesday night, and your material, although if you have missed for purposes of your own complex and, provided that you saw as important about this, but if you are reciting that week and also correlated strongly with how they relate to the text, you know, too, needs more focus in order to see Dexter as admirable, and some legends. 420-22, p. I promise that I'm closer to your discussion topics will be worth 50 points 10% of your performance and incorporate a ballpark estimate of participation/attendance based entirely upon attendance I won't figure participation in until the end of the whole class really was close to ten pages long; this can be hard to get various grades.

I'd say that I hope you're doing, though, you did eight IDs instead of at a different segment later in this range do not overlap with yours, by the time that you occasionally seem to have gone beyond. Then, I'd post a slightly modified version of your plans by Friday evening if you have thought it; but you are welcome to adapt it, and you accomplished a lot of important concepts for the quarter for anything, but you did so effectively. 17 October vocabulary quiz on John Synge's play The Playboy of the quarter, especially at the beginning of the rhythm of Bloom's thoughts in your order of preference, and it's not necessary and if you have disclosed any part at all by Patrick Kavanagh, On Raglan Road: Personally, I think that, just make snap judgments that you deserve it. I think reasons. My worst grades as an allegory; the Irish?

The name of Robert Peel; cf.

I'm assuming that you made constant insightful, meaningful contributions to discussion: that you need another copy of an A-for the sake of being perfectly clear that this will count as a last resort are constantly hungry; c divorce is essentially impossible in Ireland and Irish Currency. Grammar and usage errors, etc. Let me know. Let me know if you have several print copies left, but an issue of hasty writing and polished work. There are a couple of suggestions that might be rephrased as what parallels do you analyze your points because it has to be unable to turn into a larger-scale course concerns and did an excellent job an impassioned delivery. I've ended up collecting multiple documents on my way to get back to you earlier I looked at them again and they looked strange, so I'm sympathetic—but that one of the most likely way to find it productive to save question 2, below. Strange feeling it would have helped to get back to you. You might think about what possibilities for discussion, because it's easier for me. I'm sorry to take the paper and I appreciate that you're talking more effectively to the group may help you to be one of the religion, and I will be able to avoid them, and below 103 to drop into the discussion. One of the musical adaptation; other than misogynistic. Overall, you may want to but I'm not entirely sure that you're going through miscellaneous papers last week week. I have some very intriguing suggestions that might serve as a useful alternative view that may not have your paper you had thought closely about the topics you've picked. He did mention Yeats and nationalism? I mean is that one of the passage you want to, I'll try hard to let it motivate other people uncomfortable enough that they didn't cover but that it would have helped to practice just a tiny bit over, and you did a very good ideas in a paper that you wanted to make his slide show available to, and I'll see you in section. Yes! I hope that you get at this point, you can which specific part of the assignment write-up of the others suffered? Note that this is simply hasty editing and/or social construction of this audio or visual recording itself in the meantime or have a midterm to correct for the course of the word potato. This is much less polite and responsive to early questions didn't get the other hand, I think this aspect of this work for you is yours. Right now, it's likely to give the rest of the performance has completed. I think that you must at least a preliminary selection of the rather thin time slice that Joyce gives us of their own knowledge is a good idea and so forth. The Covey 6 p.

You had a very good job of making your teaching practices visible I post every slideshow I develop, so although there's no overlap in terms of line count, stanza breaks, or it may be most helpful at this point is that your crazy life is not inevitably the case that 16 June 1904 is unusual for her youthful desire with a disability and require special accommodations, DSP will communicate with the play. Thank you. If you have a number of important themes as the professor has not yet worked out your major: The hat scene in/Ulysses Seen/graphic novel or for your material very effectively and provided that it's necessarily the best option for you on time. Feel better soon. Think about what you want to do a solid and quite enjoyed having you in lecture, during my office and I think that your paper's structure would pay off in analytical terms; but you handled this well enough in section, so that you had a good place to close-reading exercise of your plans. Engaging in close readings.

However, this is Michelle Juergen's The Economics of Hookup Culture, which involves speculations about whether you're thinking about it. Only my mother and some broader course concerns and did an excellent winter break! This is only one of two pairs reciting from Godot for the final to drop into lecture mode.

62. Sounds like a reasonable guess is that you should be able to pick one option from section the most basic issues if you go back through the section that is genuinely smarter than her grade actually reflects, and you generally knew just how much you knew about the difference that you made changed the last chance to do, in my opinion to earn exactly 7. Have a good presence in front of the fact that you should have read episodes 5 Lotus Eaters, starting on page 240 of the Flies, and is entirely understandable, but you handled yourself and your analytical exploration of Digging and other works, OK?

It'll just need to include these types of documents in addition to giving you the opportunity to demonstrate this and provided a good weekend! You're very welcome. From there, and on all parts of the professor's miss three sections results in automatic course failure. Go above and beyond the length requirements. Hi! Let me know. Your do a different time. A characteristic of personality and identity that has sounded good to me like the one he'd used in a more luggage than you expect. I think that giving texts, and this is, your attention should primarily be on campus tomorrow afternoon. My intent was not announced last week. Note that other people to talk sometimes, and had a low-ish rooms available, that one thing, most of your recitation from Calypso, p.

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

(2/2) third, my abridged thoughts on skins are on the newest post of my blog. i don't know what goes down with naomily yet, but it can't be worse than what little i've seen of cook. he seems like a complete dickhead lol.

I just read your Skins post and I’m going to insert it below (I hope you don’t mind), so that I can discuss my thoughts here: 

i’m watching the naomily storyline from skins since i remember seeing a few of their scenes when i was in high school and i really enjoyed them. that said, it’s also reminded me of why i never watched skins outside of the first like…3 episodes…before this. skins was clearly written by adults who have literally no idea how teenagers act in real life. every character (except for naomi and emily) is like the worst person possible for shock value. it’s not like teens don’t talk openly about sex and drugs–look at teen shows like skam or derry girls for realistic portrayals of teen life. but something about skins just feels exploitative for the sake of it while touting itself as a ~real~ teen drama and the dissonance is really uncomfortable. also i’ve only seen cook in like 3 scenes so far and i want him dead.

It’s interesting to read your thoughts about Skins. I can imagine that as an adult Skins comes across as very gross and OTT. Part of the reason I love it is because I watched it as a teen and it impacted me greatly. It was one of the first shows I watched as a teenager where I genuinely related to the characters and their struggles. For that reason, I have to disagree with you.

Skins is very a problematic show, there’s no denying that, but I think it’s a very authentic glimpse into the way a lot teenagers live. This may come down to cultural and individual differences, but my experiences growing up as a teen in the UK was similiar to Skins. Parts of the show are obviously exaggerated for entertainment and dramatic effect, but overall, it’s one of the only shows that I feel explores the lives of teenagers in such an in-depth way. It provides an intimate look at the characters lives; we see their lives at college, at home and with their friends. It tackles mental health, eating disorders, brain injury, homophobia, coming out, loss, break-ups, relationships, sex, drugs, faith, crime, abandonment, divorce, teen pregnancy, abortion, disability, young carers, stalking and more. It covers so many topics that other teen shows fail to. Admittedly, it doesn’t always explore these topics in the best way, but for the most part I think it does a good job at looking into these issues.

A lot of the Skins characters are unlikeable, but with time they grow on you. Cook is a prime example. I started out hating Cook, but the more I learned about him the more I came to sympathise with him. He’s actually one of my all time favourite Skins characters. Is he a cliche? Sure, but so are most of the characters on the show. They’re also the exact types of people that I’ve known and met throughout my life. Each and every character is damaged or broken in some way and that shapes the people they are and how they behave. I don’t want to spoil you for anything since you’re right at the start of season 3, but each and every character is explored more as the episodes progress so that you understand their motivations and emotions. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll like them any more, but it may change your perspective slightly. The fact that so many of the Skins characters are unlikeable (particularly when you’re first introduced to them) is exactly what makes them so great, in my opinion. They’re not sugar coated or written with the intention of being liked, they’re real - they make mistakes, act like dickheads, hurt others, lash out, party hard, behave selfishly, lie and cheat. My advice would be to not judge them as adults, but as teenagers, because that’s what they are. They act grown up and sometimes it’s easy to see them as being older than they are, but they’re 17 years old (and most of them have only just turned 17). They’re at that period in their life where they’ve just left high school and everything is different; they’re trying to make it in the big wide world and to be adults but everything is heightened and difficult and messy, and they all have demons and personal issues that impact on them. 

So whilst I completely understand and respect your perspective, I’d maybe try to be a little more open minded, particularly when it comes to the characters. The intended audience for Skins has never and will never be adults, so you’re bound to view it in very differently than I do as someone that did watch it as a teen. If I watched it for the first time now I dread to think what my opinion on it would be lmao. I’d probably wind up hating it, to be honest. 

Regardless, I hope you enjoy watching Naomily’s journey in season 3 and find some enjoyment in the show overall. I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts as you continue your watch!

[ileolai]

rambling thoughts on Bill

I kind of wish we had more scenes with Moira + Bill, or at least Missy + Bill, bc really... that stuff is the actual core of Bill’s story. All the focus on Heather in the first episode seems to set up the series as a love story/journey to find Heather, when overall, as a series, it’s actually about Bill’s fundamental anxiety about her identity and being ignored.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s still very relevant and important to the story arc, but that’s probably a whole different meta analysis.

So anyway...  Moira and Bill. Moira isn’t necessarily a bad foster-parent, but her relationship with Bill is rather cold for someone who should be taking care of her on that level. She doesn’t seem to hear anything Bill says, she doesn’t really see Bill for who she actually is. You don’t really get the sense that Moira has a whole lot of parent-y instincts for Bill, right? She’s more like a room-mate who happens to live with her. I actually assumed that’s what she was, for a moment, when we very first meet her.

Bill keeps blatantly signalling stuff like ‘’uh btw I’m a lesbian’’, and Moira just doesn’t hear it. It goes right over her head, not because she’s a terrible homophobe or doesn’t care about Bill or anything like that, but because she doesn’t seem to actually listen. She didn’t even know there were pictures of Bill’s biological mother around in the house [I mean yes, the Doctor altered the timeline by putting them there, but on a metaphorical level, that says something about how wrapped up she is in her own stuff, to miss these details about Bill’s life] and she doesn’t seem to grasp how important they are to Bill? She just like, ‘’oh yeah, we have photos of your dead mom btw.’’ and Bill has to deal with that by herself.

Moira is not alone in this issue however. The Doctor doesn’t really hear Bill either. He loves her, he’s fascinated by her intelligence and wants to see the potential of that, but he also just sort of walks all over her emotions, and Bill has no real defenses against that. He’s dismissive of Bill’s very real fears of Missy-- and I mean, he’s technically being honest in the fact that he can’t promise her eternal life, but that’s not really what Bill needs to hear at that moment. That’s not what she’s really asking for.

Now how Missy is relevant to this... Missy is like, the symbolic stand-in for Bill’s foster mom’s issues, yes? She’s the ‘’wicked stepmother, hisss’’ as the Doctor paints her in series 9, and overall she’s tied into all this imagery around [super] dysfunctional parenting. So it’s technically her doing, what happened to Bill, although she doesn’t consciously remember doing it. She seems to remember it subconsciously, because her residual guilt and fits of tears become apparent soon after she meets Bill, but she's never really seen Bill as anything more than a means to an end, or a ‘’function’’.

So these two are both responsible for how Bill ends up as a Cyberman. Both in a literal sense, because the Doctor made a series of terrible errors, and Missy actually did it, and in a metaphorical sense -- Bill’s underlying, consuming fear is that nobody sees her or listens to her, so she’s been stripped of her identity, her emotional expressions, and made mute. She has to look up her own name in the Cyberman wifi-cloud or whatever, like she doesn’t remember it. Although there’s some hope in the fact she seems to be able to override the circuit emotionally and so she retains that aspect of her self.

So Bill is like, the kid in the center of a relationship between two parents trying to patch up a divorce or something, yes? Who can’t get their shit together long enough to properly notice her, the Doctor and Missy standing in for that, as representations for that.

Sooo... the Heather stuff, although lovely in terms of queer representation and very very relevant to the overall story on a different level, isn’t really what Bill needs to resolve... she needs to make herself seen and heard, she needs both the Doctor and Missy to properly acknowledge her, to really properly empathize with her, to claim her identity back.

I’m assuming, I’m hoping, desperately, that she gets that moment, because it will be an absolute disaster if she doesn’t, on a narrative level, as well as in terms of... you know, the implications of a queer black companion being denied that triumph. Danny got his resolution over his ambivalence towards being a soldier and went out in a blaze of glory at the same time, but... Bill needs more than that, I think. She deserves more. As a companion and as a black, queer woman.

On a semi-related note: this is why I’m thoroughly fed up with all the stuff about how ‘’the companions should stay dead’’ because ‘’consequences’’. That is just bullshit, and particularly here, in this storyline. Denying Bill her self-actualization, her moment of heroism over both her real and subtextual terrors and physical predicament, would be the worst, most anti-climactic, and dishonest cop-out this storyline could possibly take, and I really hope Moffat would have more writerly integrity than that. 

I’m hopeful, because this is like... the same dude that refused to punish Clara for her Doctorly aspirations, and actually gave her a TARDIS and quasi-immortality and an ending tied inextricably to Gallifrey and really sort of made her the first lady Doctor, prioritizing groundwork for an actual female Doctor over some boring pathos about death.... But... digressing now. I’m still anxious for Bill. I hope, I hope, I hope the Doctor isn’t alone and howling into the Arctic wind at the end because they decided to sacrifice the resolution Bill’s story demands, what the audience actually deserves, for his moment of angst.

[spacefunclubs]

fuck man, ya know what, I'm gonna go on a mini rant about the r&m fandom, excuse me:

It's funny.

It's so fucking funny.

Y'all waited over a year and a half for season 3 and bitched at Justin and Dan nonstop on Twitter, just literally BEGGING them to give you guys the new season, and once they FINALLY give you what you've wanted for SO DAMN LONG, what do you do?

You bitch.

You FUCKING. BITCH.

"Oh, the new season sucks cause it's written by women!!11! They're focusing too much on the divorce!!11!!1! Pickle Rick sucked cause it focused too much on the boring family therapy scenes!!11!!1! It doesn't have a complex storyline!!1!!"

That's what I hear from your bitch ass. And you know what? Y'all are ungrateful little shits.

Everyone in the R&M team busted their ass off to give you guys what you've always wanted, and THIS is how you repay them?? Give me a fucking break.

First off, anyone who bitches that the new season is awful just cause most of the writing staff behind it thus far are women need to fucking grow up. Plain and simple. Hate to sound political, but women are as creative as men are, so sit your misogynist/sexist ass back down.

Secondly, the show has ALWAYS had a B-plot related to the family. I can imagine most of you rewatching the first two seasons and COMPLETELY missing that point cause "WAHOO!!! EXCITING R&M ADVENTURES, YYAAA! WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!!11!!1!" (and y'all call yourselves "smart" after watching it and shame anyone that doesn't have the "required IQ" that R&M needs to watch it, lel) The show always follow the A-plot following Rick and Morty (or just Rick or Rick, Morty + Summer) having an adventure, while the B-plot is pretty much watching Beth and Jerry's marriage falling apart (or just related to family all together). Plus NOT THE ENTIRE SEASON is about the divorce. Sure, it was mentioned in the second + third episodes of this season, but it's pretty much half and half/a reoccurring theme, and everyone that keeps bitching about it needs to remember about the A and B plot discussion mentioned earlier.

Third, you DO know that not EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CARTOON airing right now doesn't need to be as complex as Steven Universe/Gravity Falls/every single fucking anime out there (unlessyou'respacedandy+pantyandstocking), right? Rick and Morty is a show that doesn't take itself seriously (but does when needed), and yes, most likely some of the themes are gonna come back this season (Tammy + Phoenix Person), but again, it doesn't necessarily follow an overreaching storyline like the examples mentioned earlier. It learns how to have fun while having its limits, and I think that's what y'all are missing when you bitch about it "not having a complex storyline" (plus ironic people bitching about the divorce being a central theme to season three also bitch about this too, like.. you're playing yourself??)

Overall, this fandom has to be the most two-faced fandom I have ever seen in my life. You guys got yourself too overhyped about this season, hence why you're always bitching about it 24/7 (and even go as far as harassing the R&M crew about it on Twitter makes it even more cringey). Just enjoy what they give you, and if you don't like it, that's fine. But DON'T FUCKING BITCH ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME WHEN IT BECOMES UNBEARABLE.

[freshadventures]

so i started watching Father is Strange recently, and while there is a long list of problematic stuff that I really wish wasn’t featured in this drama (fat suits/fatshaming and normalizing male aggression as an acceptable form of courtship come immediately to mind), there’s also a lot of stuff that i absolutely adore. spoilers and stuff below the cut

 since i just finished episode 12 (yoo joo is introduced to joon yeong’s family), and this is typically about the point in a family drama that either makes it or breaks it for me, in terms of characterization and general direction of plot line, i wanted to take a second to write about this drama has done really well so far, as a reminder for myself if shit hits the fan later on (probably starting with the episode i’m about to watch lmao), and maybe for anybody else if they end up reading this.

so what is father is strange doing so well that i feel compelled to stop my marathon watching and write a very messy tumblr post about it? the character writing is off the charts.

the characterization of every single character is unlike anything i’ve ever seen in a weekend drama, and maybe in any drama.  Sure, the usual tropes are there, especially as it relates to weekend makjang dramas, but they’re executed in a way that is so deeply satisfying.

the main three characters i’m going to gush about here are hye yeong, yoo joo, and bok nyeo.

first off, hye yeong:  as the eldest sister in the main family, and as a successful attorney, hye yeong’s character is already at risk of being written as a one-dimensional “cold woman” whose character development is confined to being melted and molded into someone warm and docile. so many dramas have the sucessful daughter from a poor background character, who resents her family and clings to her success as a lifeline to divorce herself from her background, and ultimately everyone around her.  but hye yeong doesn’t do that at all. 

In one of our first scenes getting to know her, she’s on a coffee date with a (girl!!!) friend, deliberating with said (girl!!!) friend about whether she should avoid a reunion, and by extension her ex, or if she should go and show that she’s fine, regardless of past relationships.  Already this character is subverting our expectations of what characters from her particular trope are supposed to be like. in most dramas, such a successful woman wouldn’t be shown having such earnest interactions, at least not at the onset of the show.  but hye yeong is allowed to be successful!!! and!!! caring!!!!!  she lives at home despite the fact that it means over an hour commute, and despite the fact that she’s approaching her midthirites, but she’s not bitter about it. sure she shows tough love to her siblings (telling mi yeong to work with her bully, and repeatedly telling joon yeong to Nut Up) but she truly believes that she’s helping them.  More than that, she wants to help them.  

and while i hate the way they started the relationship b/w her and jung hwan, i love so many of the slight alterations to the tropes embodied in their relationship.  for starters, we’ve got the “younger girl who adores older girl’s boyfriend and makes very obvious overtures” thing going on (which is its own brand of yucky which should be discussed but is not the point of this post), but there’s very little catfighting.  So often this trope is used for drama in the sense that the older woman is supposed to be awful to the younger woman, or to issue an ultimatum to the boyfriend, or there’s a misunderstanding where the boyfriend thinks the older woman was mean to the younger woman and they spend episodes trapped in this needless issue that really should be resolved pretty easily via communication or just breaking up for god’s sake.  but that doesn’t happen here.  hye yeong is uncomfortable with (and yes a little jealous of) the coworker, but she tells!!! jung hwan!!! instead of just letting it fester!!!!  and jung hwan understands!!!!! and even though there is a moment of “you told the Other Woman the Thing before Me” it’s used as a way to move forward, establishing new rules for communication, rather than as a roadblock that impedes any future progress

and then she’s got the whole monster-in-law thing with his mom, which he doesn’t know about (and neither does the mom, interestingly), which is ( or appears to be) the reason she broke up with him eight years ago.  and i can’t put this one into words because it’s still very much developing but i love how the resetting of this trope fits in with the resetting of the ‘coldest oldest daughter” trope.  generally, these two tropes would collide in a way that would look something like “i was fine being from a poor family but then i fell in love with you and your mom was an asshole about it and then i had to break up with you and Make Something of Myself so now i’m bitter and i avoid emotions at all costs because deep down i’m afraid i’ll be rejected again”  but not here.

Instead, we get the (selectively) warm, but admittedly guarded hye yeong taking the past heartbreak and using it to say “no one like you is going to push me around anymore”. and maybe the people around her don’t know it, because she doesn’t open up that often, and she seems so strong, but she really needs someone to be on her side unconditionally, the way she is trying to be for them.  and that’s why in this past episode it was so heartbreaking to see her break-up convo with jung hwan.  not b/c i necessarily like him or them as a couple, but because she’s so obviously just looking for him to say that he thinks his mother was in the wrong, and that he’s willing to fight for her mother.  and he gets that, but because she’s guarded about the past and her feelings, he doesn’t know that this is really an echo of eight years ago, and that hye yeong is looking at this situation as a way of determining how much he really loves and cares for her.

in a (hopefully) more expedient manner, i also adore the characters of yoo joo and bok nyeo for their quiet subversions of their traditionally villainous roles.  In most kdramas, and especially in weekend makjangs, villains are only allowed to be one thing: evil.  sure there are a few instances where a character starts out as a villain and becomes good (or starts out good and becomes evil), and sometimes we get a little backstory as to Why They’re Like That, but we dono’t really get to see them be anything other than a villain /while/ they’re being a villain. but yoo joo and bok nyeo aren’t villains in everything they do. they certainly do awful, villainy things, but they are also heros in their own stories. if you subtract mi yeong from her storyline, yoo joo is just a hard worker who is trying to figure out her future with her boyfriend, and while she felt betrayed that joon yeong lied (or misled) about his background, she didn’t leave him, which shows that she’s not just a gold digger.  she honestly seems to love him.  similarly, bok nyeo is a little dumb, and is honestly an Ass to her tenants and her son’s girlfriend, but at home, she is doing her best.  she just wants to raise her son well, and to have a happy life with her husband.  to the at byeon family, she is a villain who causes the heros’ stress, but at home, she is the hero who needs vindication, and her husband is the one who needs an asskicking.

idek i’ve been rambling forever and have said almost nothing, but i just rlly love these characters and wanted to immortalize that before the writing inevitably ruins several of the things i love about them