#ALSO I KNOW YOU REFUSE TO LEASH YOUR DOG SO YOU CAN PRETEND YOU DIDN'T SEE IT SHIT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PATH YOU FUCKHEAD

[pa-pa-plasma]

8) my dogs are very small & very old & your large, hyper puppy jumping on them can, at best, severely hurt them, at worst kill them. unless you're willing to pay for the medical bills of my chronically ill dog's new broken bone, keep your dog on a leash

9) I have a cat in the stroller & you are freaking him out

Everyone else talked about outdoor cats, it's time for me to talk about offleash dogs

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 13

Howdy folks!!

This week I'm gonna throw in some series I've been reading that have probably been recc'd by me before. I did read a few things this week, but I'm like way behind on these series I've been reading, so I spent more time catching up on those. I also read The Ritual which was... an experience. Oh and if you tagged me in a fic and I didn't get to it I am so sorry!! I'll get there I promise.

And as always you can find the spreadsheet here and the Fic Rec Masterlist here.

Anyway! Recs below the slut Javi

What I Want - a Joel one shot by @proxima-writes

SUB JOEL!!!! Sometimes you need a strong, prideful, world weary man to whimper for you.

Trial and Error - a Joel/Tommy series by @thetriumphantpanda

Am I into breeding kink? No. Am I into making Tommy Miller watch Joel Miller rail me? Yes. I also love how into it everyone is. Someone in the comments said "What if Joel got a secret vasectomy" and like I know that is not true of this version of Joel, but like I also want it to keep not working.

I can see you (Javier's Version)- a Javi P one shot by @proxima-writes

I love a good file room fuck with Javi, so obviously this was just my style. I also love the way Javi gets all frustrated with the teasing. Him crumpling up that note UGHAGH. And then the way you ended it? I won't spoil it, but it made me giggle. I cannot believe you don't write Javi regularly. You nailed it.

Sacreligious - Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

Who doesn't love a little sacrilege in the morning? Fucking in the Mines of Mandalore sounds like a dream... as long as the mythosaur doesn't get you lmao

In Bloom - a Frankie series by @northernbluess

This. Fic. Is. So. Fucking. CUTE! I loved chapter one of course, but chapter two??? My heart UGH. Their date is so precious. And the smut... I have a daddy kink and refuse to be shamed for it THIS WAS SO HOT

a hungry dog on a very short leash - a Joel one shot by @iamasaddie

My Dark Joel Queen never fails to deliver <3 This was so fucking hot. The getting caught cheating thing... the semi-public sex as punishment/blackmail thing. YUMMY YUMMY!! Dead Dove and all that, read the warnings, (are the warnings supposed to turn you on? oops).

some rotten man - a Joel one shot by @iamasaddie

Zero Plot. Just a rough as fuck blowjob. Exactly what I needed... It's so good y'all.

What happens on Coruscant, Stays on Coruscant - a Din/Poe/Cassian one shot by @beskarandblasters

Look we all know the timeline here is a little fucked, but let's pretend they're all around the same age because... Din Djarin, Poe Dameron, and Cassian Andor walk into a brothel and spend the night with you... GOD DAMN that's hot

------- SERIES <333 -------

These are series I keep tabs on in a separate spreadsheet and check once a week to see if they've been updated. Most of these have been recommended before, but they deserve all the attention.

I know some people don't like to start reading WIPs before they're finished, and that is valid, but these are worth it. Oh and some are complete and I just haven't finished them yet. It's my personal spreadsheet so it's a little messy lol.

One Thing I'm Missing / Joel / @joelscruff

Seams / Joel/ @fuckyeahdindjarin

Palomino / Jack / @fuckyeahdindjarin

I Think of You / Din / @prolix-yuy

No Drug Like Me / Dieter / @jazzelsaur (AO3)

Friendly Fire / Joel / @the-ginger-hedge-witch

Psychomanteum / Dieter / @whatsnewalycat

You Make Loving Fun / Frankie / @redahlia-writes

Apothecary / Joel / @atinylittlepain

Losing My Religion / Din / @oonajaeadira

Surrender / Joel / @ezrasbirdie

Short Days, Long Nights / Joel / @frannyzooey

Left in Lincoln / Joel / @toxicanonymity

Dressed For Revenge / Joel / @jksprincess10

Cowboy Like Me / Javi P / @cutesyscreenname

Sweet Creature / Dieter / @wildemaven

Leave Off Your Wandering / Joel / @oonajaeadira

Stitches / Din / @djarinsbeskar

Feelings on Fire / Joel / @joelscruff

Hot and Heavy / Joel / @tieronecrush

Pretend Alleyways / Dieter/Marcus / @radiowallet

Run to You / Marcus P / @foli-vora

Learning to Live / Javi P / @wheresarizona

Raider / Joel / @toxicanonymity

Beskar Doll / Din / @justagalwhowrites

Lavender / Joel / @justagalwhowrites

Hungry Hearts / Joel / @atinylittlepain

June / Joel / @atinylittlepain

Your Summer Dream / Joel / @swiftispunk

Muddy Waters / Joel/Ez / @bonezone44

Adversity / Ez/Frankie / @the-ginger-hedge-witch

Sensational / Joel / @sinsofsummers

Night Walks / Joel / @toxicanonymity

Stepdad!Joel / Joel / @toxicanonymity

Yes I check all of these for updates every single Thursday, though I don't always read every single thing that updated. If you ever think no one cares about your WIP... I do!!!

---------------------------

Happy Reading!

[separatist-apologist]

I want to join in the ranking fun so, if you feel like it: acotar characters on a hike?

17. Amren- DID NOT GO

16. Nesta- ALSO DID NOT GO

15- Mor- HIKE???? No thanks.

14.- Feyre- brings a giant pack of her art supplies, sets up in the first nice valley and begins to paint. Yes, paint. Just wants to capture the moment, to soak in the beauty of nature.

13. Rhys- brought a golf cart, wearing open-toed shoes. "What do you mean we're not golfing?" Ends up banned by park service for taking a golf cart up a protected trail, waits in parking lot doing wheelies

12. Tarquin- SO HUMID. Prefers a dry heat, will not stop talking about it. Wants to know if they're ever going to swim, bails early when he realizes the journey is just the walk. NO THANK YOU

11. Gwyn- Two miles max, did not wear adequate shoes. Brought a book tucked beneath her arm to identify plants and birds but forgot water. Identifies zero birds, gets 100 mosquito bites.

10. Jurian- Does not understand point of a hike. Declares the view is not even that good. VISIBLY sunburned a third of the way up, refuses to put on sunscreen. Constantly asking if they're there yet.

9. Helion- Definitely thought there would be more drinking involved. Goes in 70's style shorts so everyone knows how muscular his thighs are. Isn't there for the right reasons. Lots of passerby's distracted when he takes off his shirt. Everyone annoyed by his in person thirst trapping.

8. Azriel- athletic but this is not his preferred form of absorbing vitamin D. Teased the whole time about how much black he wore. Doesn't want to scuff brand new shoes, has one of those backpacks you can slurp water from with a straw, refuses to share.

7. Vassa- Came with the hopes everyone was camping. Hiking with an ARSENAL of gear on her back. Exhausted half way through and FURIOUS when she realizes everyone is done at mile five

6. Emerie- Hiking goddess. Came to snap pictures and she looks good doing it. Long leggings and socks despite heat, does not seem to notice. Carrying on conversation despite ninety degree incline.

5. Eris- brought ALL his dogs. Tangled leashes EVERYWHERE. People constantly asking to pet, of course he says NO. DONT TOUCH THEM. Dogs desperately want to be pet. Carrying around way too many bags of dog poop, is grumpy about it. So worried about keeping dogs from escaping, forgets sunscreen.

4. Elain- Points out all the plants along the way, taking pictures carefully to catalogue. WAY at the back of the group, constantly having to jog to catch up. Came to soak up nature, not to get so sweaty. Wore a too floppy hat she loses in the wind at the very top, forced to go back down without it.

3. Tamlin- Wants to hike in SILENCE. Brought headphones, defeating the purpose of a group hike. So loud EVERYONE can hear. "Is that Call Me Maybe?" Tamlin pretends he didn't hear.

2. Cassian- BRUTAL PACE. PRACTICALLY RUNNING. OH MY GOD WHAT IS YOUR RUSH??? The rush is to beat the crowd and to punish ourselves for our many crimes against God. Cassian avoids being murdered that day...but just barely.

1. Lucien- Off grid hiking, tracking through woods like a bloodhound. Group? What group? They find him halfway back lounging against a tree looking unbothered. Made it to the top hours ago, just waiting now. There is a shortcut, he claims, pointing to vertical incline nicknamed "SUICIDE CLIMB" Looks like it needs equipment to get up, he claims he used his hands. Perfect ponytail.

[redwayfarers]

🎨 🍵 👽 for both Cass and Isa? :3c

ty for dropping by <3

🎨 Is your OC artistic? Can they draw or paint or do they prefer another medium? Are they a writer or musician or do they do something else? Give us a quick run down of what they can get creative with!

Isa is a woodcarver. She didn't have much time to perfect it while Commander, but having sharp claws does have its non-lethal usage sometimes. She initially took it up as a way to practice coordination and hand movement in her new mythosi body (on her Mom's suggestion and Mother didn't object) and fell in love with it. A lot of her early woodcarving is kept in her rooms in Lapis, some of it is in Sabir's hands and some of it is in Esmerelda and Mom's.

Cass isn't artistic, not in the traditional sense of the word? He knows music, he sketches, but none of that is original or necessarily good. He has a good ear for music and catching rhythm and tones, but that doesn't mean he can replicate them himself. He'd kill to be a musician, though. Music is one of the great passions in his life.

🍵 Are there any rumours about your OC hanging around? Nasty ones or just good humoured? Got any gossip to share about them?

Isa's the ex-Commander of Plaithus - of course there's rumours about her. Before her discharge, there were rumours she was dating Sabir. Some people thought she sharpened her fangs before battle to make herself extra vicious on the battlefield, though those are undercut by how chill she is outside of it. There were nasty rumours too, but Isa ignored them. After the exile, she was rumoured to be rabid (though that's just kicking someone while they're down type slander) and that she's best kept away from Plaithus because she's off the leash and truly, truly, a wild beast.

In the aftermath of Vestaran civil war, which saw Vasco twisting the tale of Cass' efforts in nation-wide contract to find missing Guild mages and which marked his reappearance in the eyes of the Vestran elite, a lot of rumours came to be. Nobody had any idea why he's Wayfarer Inteus, because there hasn't been a magiani in the family line for generations (and Theo made sure nobody knew who he was after disowning him), so they started speculating that he just stole the surname. Straight up pretended to be an Inteus when he's not. After nearly (accidentally) killing his youngest sibling Aftonio (one of the kids who went missing), there were rumours that he has a hate boner for mages as a whole and is a mage hunter. A good rumour though is that he's Sero's former apprentice, and that one's true, given his sometimes unusual approach to doing contracts, as well as a certain level of fairness he both provides and expects from you. You don't have to like him, he doesn't have to like you, but he thinks both parties need to uphold their end of the bargain.

👽Describe your OC as if they were an urban legend or myth!

I mean, Isa does look like an urban legend, she has dog-like mannerisms, dog-like claws, sharp fangs, a lot of black hair on a pretty pale skin and white eyes. I think the joke writes itself here

Cass just sticks out wherever he goes, because of his genetics (he'd punch someone if they ask if he dyes his hair) but here I wanna talk about gorgon!Cass (aka his Exile AU) because before the mythosi blood, he looked handsome, yeah, but also a lot more ordinary. Auburn hair, brown eyes. But the blood made his eyes and hair go bright red, he has a split tongue, retractable fangs, talons and before the exile, had green scales on his joints and the sides of his face. True to himself, he refuses to cut his hair and it's very red and very long. Truly, a myth lmao

[erstwhilesparrow]

A LIST OF IMMEDIATE POST-FINALE THOUGHTS:

i think because i'd heard the name "widow's alliance" floating around i assumed that cleo outlives bdubs? she really doesn't. -- (not my idea but) zombie trap flavoured as her revenge? very interesting!

did not anticipate caring about martyn + grian narrative foils as much as i did!! but here i am and i care about this so much!!

obsessed with how nearly every instance of [grian showing up in martyn's pov] is him talking to / about scar. that + martyn's editing choices re: desertduo makes grian SO. guy who exists to stand ominously nearby and mutter nervously and cackle from the top of the hill when his trap goes off!! guy who only really seems to exist in the desert and guy who has maybe been trapped in the desert but also guy who is turning away from your outstretched hand and leaning in the bars of his cage!!

shoutout to martyn's editing choices just in general honestly. very fond of them. many of them are goofy but he is so good at adding alarming music at the right moments

again. nothing. but rotating "leash / liege" because the autocaptions refused to believe that martyn was saying "liege". one of the people in this relationship is the dog and somehow it's not ren!! (okay. it is ren. but ALSO.)

a second piece of nothing: bigb and martyn fighting off some mobs together and martyn making a point of switching to fighting with his axe and not his sword -- says out loud it's to avoid hitting his ally in battle. We Should Do Symbolism About This.

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ETHO AND BIGB WERE BOTH THERE TO THE END. WHAT THE HELL.

thinking about that one episode that starts with renchanting being all excited because they got a mending villager. (AND in one of the episodes after that, ren complaining that they've had no time to dedicate to infrastructure lately.) looking at limited life. THEY HAD NO IDEA HOW LITTLE TIME THEY HAD..... ;-;

related to the above: martyn is SO on edge for the whole season but it STILL manages to feel like he Doesn't Quite Get It until way later in the season. like. from almost the first moment he's on screen he's talking about tactics for the endgame but it's. also really obvious he doesn't know what the endgame looks like? so he's running around worrying about this and that and it still hits the "oh my god you have NO IDEA ;-;"

second related to the above: martyn is SO hypervigilant. constantly looking around when visitors arrive so he can keep as many people in his field of view at a time as possible. scrambling to be on the walls / roof of dogwarts. shuffling stuff around so he has water and cobwebs in his hotbar all the time. catches a single flash of a nametag and is immediately barrelling up the stairs to see who's there.

continuing from / connecting to that thought: very funny how FAST martyn throws his lot in with ren. like. i think it is the second episode MAYBE and martyn's already like "they hurt ren's feelings by enchanting without permission. they are all immediately on the shit list." and after that he continues to run off as if his life hasn't become irrevocably intertwined with this guy's. cf my other post about (among other things) martyn should be forced to confront that there is less forcing him to stay here than he is pretending there is!!

etho's giant walls of lava are so funny. his ender stasis chamber that he uses once and never again is so funny. his failed tnt cannon is so funny. etho is just the goofiest guy in a very [person who has one (1) Major Strength and is trying so hard to use it in a game that is mostly running around and yelling] way. audio warfare where he just put down a note block and a clock and left it outside the crastle to annoy them.

i can't read the post i'm referring to here because i haven't seen last life but shoutout to that post that's like "why don't we talk more about pre-limlife mean gills" because YEAH WHY DON'T WE TALK MORE ABOUT PRE-LIMLIFE MEAN GILLS. SCOTT AND MARTYN JUST KEEP. HAVING INTERACTIONS??? OH RED WINTER FLASHBACK THIS OH UNGUIDED HAND THAT MARTYN AND SCOTT HAVE A WHOLE NETHER ADVENTURE TOGETHER THIS ISN'T NOTHING!! --OH AND THE FUCKING PUFFERISH OF PEACE. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE PUFFERISH OF PEACE?????? [guy covered in red string meme]

didn't realize joel's wolves happened in this season! assumed it was a last life thing.

this is more about the ccs than anything but i'm so fond of ren calling scott "major" and this becoming a thing etho also calls him at least once. i think i have a personal weakness for people referring to each other by last names affectionately. granted they are not friends in the game but like. makes me feel sort of melty anyway. This Is Actually Nothing.

HEY WHAT'S UP DID WE KNOW THAT THIRD LIFE IS SO SO SO SO GOOD.

[dire-crowley-apologist]

A bunch of bullshit word vomit about my oc

Tw: slight mention of s*icide

Aster the non magic human who got pulled into twisted wonderland a few years before MC. He's 27 and he had actually died back in whatever dimension he belonged to but now he's in this whack ass world alive and technically well. Crowley uses him to do tasks that he's either too busy to do or just didn't want to and he's gotten pretty used to the day to say goings-on at the school. He's stubborn and talks and very much like "fuck them kids" when something happens. He also back talks and out right refuses to do shit at times. He's very much a self indulgent oc X3 so potentially not lore friendly

Aster (nicknamed: Ash) throwing an absolute fit because he can't get a God damn energy drink in this fuck ass world

He's very much a "this is fucking stupid, I'm leaving." Type

He keeps to the "shadows" and out of public view of the students. The only ones who really knows he exists are older students who were there when he showed up and the staff and no ones really allowed to talk about it. Of course, rumors make their rounds about a supposed urban legend that involves Aster. Crowley tends to keep him close. Why? Aster shrugs "I don't know. Cause he's fucking weird?"

He's just trying to enjoy his lunch but he's being bothered by more busy work

Aster: Self care hack: pretend you're sim that has no choice

A normal conversation between Crowley and Aster

Aster has absolutely 100% barked at Crewel with an absolute straight face, threw some finger guns and left.

Aster is just a depressed dude living at a fucked up school where a normal day literally does not exists.

"[ ] overblotted!"

Aster munching on a brownie "That sucks."

he got the brownie from Crowley in exchange for doing something for him

Aster @ Crewel: That's not very live, laugh, love of you

Aster when Crowley asks him to do literally anything: In this economy?!

It's either "in this economy?!" Or "it's gonna cost ya." If Aster goes along with anything without complaining or asking for something in return then something is wrong and maybe whoever is asking should rethink.

At some point after MC shows up Aster makes more appearances in the public eye to help out as like a weird form of kinship but absolutely does peace out when shit gets too annoying

praise is the real trick to getting Aster to do anything and Crewel found that real quick

Aster also loves spicy food

Man eats hot peppers as snacks practically

Crowley really has no real power over him cause any like thinly veiled threat is responded with "okay, and?" Funny enough the one who seems to hold the leash is Crewel since he figured out the trick so to speak. Aster still back talks and grumbles but he usually gets whatever is asked of him done without issue. He isn't happy about it! He definitely isn't happy about being praised and being called a good boy!! He isn't a dog God damn it!!

am I shipping aster with bird and dog man? Absolutely! Mans got two hands.

Aster when the overblotting shit kicks off: I don't know what's going on but I do know I don't want to be a part of it. leaves to go take a nap or something

also Aster died via s*icide though he doesn't remember it nor does he remember much about his past life now that he's in twisted wonderland. He does have a scar around his throat like a rope had been wrapped tightly around it.

Idk why Aster being canonically dead and Crowley fucking knowing that is just so fucking funny to me

Aster is such a tsundere

And can not handle being flirted with. Aster.exe has stopped working

Aster: This feels like an airport

Aster: I'm 27 years old. I have no money and no prospects.

"If you have no money how do you have all this stuff?"

Aster: I think you should stop asking questions.

Aster @ Crowley: Whats yours is mine and what's mine is also mine.

When bird, dog and Aster get together the dog is the one who holds the brain cell but even then they end up is some really dumb situations

Aster @ Ace, Deuce and Grim: My brothers in christ, this is maidenless behavior.

Aster being told that he's starting to act like Crowley a little bit and having a crisis about it

Aster: I DO NOT ACT LIKE THAT CROW!!!

the whole student body watching these two idiots dancing around the fact that they like each other

Aster: This is the worst day of my life.

Crowley: The worst day of your life so far.

Crowley: excludingthattimeyoukilledyourself

Aster: What?

Crowley: Nothing, nothing. :)

Aster being an absolute brat to Crowley but then ready the throw the fuck down when anyone says something like HEY THATS MY BIRD TO BULLY, JACKASS

Aster absolutely has a praise kink

AAAAAAA

Crewel pointing out that Aster is spending too much time with Crowley because his bad habits are starting to rub off on him.

Aster getting all flustered and saying that his bad habits are his own a-and nobody else's and that he definitely isn't spending nearly all his time around Crowley that his picking up some of the birds mannerisms

Aster: I would kill for an Arizona green tea right about now.

And last but not least, a kitty Aster

[forkanna]

NOTICE: Characters and locations ©Atlus. This fic and story ©2019-2020 me! All rights to their respective owners. Mature rating for sensual situations and dialogue. Canon (slight) divergence. Based on vanilla P4 since that's what I played (Sorry, Marie fans). Names are in Western order. Title adapted from the boss battle music. Cover art by 7aho.

[AO3 LINK] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

NOTES: This one isn't going to be quite as in-depth or long as my P5 fic (and also a lot lighter in the plot department haha). Apologies for all the exposition within the first couple of pages. I always attempt to make the fic accessible for readers who don't know anything about the fandom if I can, but try to keep it short.

And for those of you waiting... don't get mad at me for not putting out very much Elsanna lately. I promise you, it IS coming. LOTS of it. I just have to have proper motivation or it will turn out not so great. Thank you for your patience!

                                                     CHAPTER ONE

None of this was right.

The spooky old castle seemed to press in on Chie Satonaka from all sides as she tore down hallway after hallway, the sound of her loafers echoing off the flagstones. Nevermind how bizarre it was that she was in another world — which she was never going to get used to, even if she came and went a thousand times — but her childhood companion and best friend in the whole world being in danger was more important. She didn't have the luxury of being thunderstruck.

Chie and her friends had gone back and forth so often about the Midnight Channel. Was it real? Was it a scam, a mere urban legend? Mass hallucination? Nobody outside of the sleepy little town of Inaba had ever heard of it, or seen it happen; purely a local paranormal phenomenon. As the story went, if you watched your television with its power turned off at midnight, during a rainstorm, you could see something. Some versions even claimed the person you saw on the screen was your soulmate.

However, that was where fantasy ended and grisly reality took over. The two previous instances had shown women that later turned up dead — and not just on TV. Their corpses hung upside down from power lines and rooftops. In this most recent case, they had all seen Yukiko Amagi in the TV — first as a blurry shadow, and now in vivid high definition.

If it really was Yukiko. That woman in the screen looked and sounded nothing like her best friend, even if it was her face and voice. The garish pink princess dress was so unlike her! Not to mention the obscene thirst for boys from such a timid, polite girl… Chie could remember each word with crystal clarity:

"Goooood evening! Tonight, Princess Yukiko has a big surprise! I'm gonna go score myself a hot stud! Welcome to 'Not A Dream, Not A Hoax; Princess Yukiko's Hunt For Her Prince Charming!' And I came prepared — I've got my lacy unmentionables on, stacked from top to bottom! I'm out to catch a whole harem, and the best of the lot is gonna be all mine! Well, here I gooooo!"

Every deranged syllable had come from someone else's mind. It had to be a sick joke! Still, there was no other explanation for where her best friend had gone. Unreachable by phone or email, and her parents didn't know where she was, either.

The other world was their only lead. And since Yu had previously shown her and Yosuke that they could actually go inside, as long as the screen was large enough to step through… that was that. Insane as it was, they had all jumped through a big screen TV into a parallel dimension to rescue their friend.

But staircase after staircase flashed past, rich red curtains and glittering chandeliers, with no sign of Yukiko. The shadows pulled at Chie from all sides exactly as the boys had described. Maybe it was her bright green-and-yellow windbreaker that caught their attention, or maybe it was that someone was invading their realm. She didn't belong in Yukiko's palace. Or at the very least, the shadows of the Midnight Channel thought she didn't, and probably were equally distrustful of the boys.

Speaking of which, where were they? She could have sworn both Yu and Yosuke were right behind her… and that weird red-and-blue bear thing, whatever his name was. They had tried to insist she stay behind because she was a girl, not strong enough to fight in spite of her kung fu training, and now they were the ones who couldn't keep up?! She almost wanted to turn back and give them a good kick in the-

"Chie told me that red looks good on me…"

The words nearly made Chie trip over her own feet and go down hard. "Yukiko?!" Where was it coming from? She turned this way and that, trying to find the source, but saw no one. The voice kept going, talking about how much she didn't like her name. How she thought she was worthless. She tried to tune out the harsh words themselves, merely focusing on the direction they were coming from and attempting to follow.

But as she barrelled through an ornate set of double doors, looking for the next flight up… the subject matter changed. And she couldn't ignore the words anymore.

"Chie was the only one who gave my life meaning. She's bright and strong, and she can do anything! She has everything that I don't. Compared to Chie, I'm… I'm…"

"HEY!" she shouted. "I'm coming, Yukiko! Hang on!"

However, the disembodied voice only continued, without any obvious source now. How could it come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time?! "Chie protects me; she looks after my worthless life. And I… I don't deserve any of it… Chie is so kind."

The words burned almost as badly as the tears burned her eyes. This was wrong. Something about it sounded right, sounded satisfying to her, but she didn't want to examine it too deeply. All she wanted was to save her best friend and get her out of this nightmare palace.

"I know, right?"

That was not Yukiko.

"What the-" Her eyes swivelled to the side and saw a girl running backwards. She was about her minimal height, a little over five feet… had the same chestnut-brown bowl cut. The same green jacket. The same…

The same. "Oh no."

"Oh yes," the doppelganger laughed as she easily jogged backwards and kept pace with her, no worry for running into anything. She never did. It was as if this other Chie, this fake, had eyes in the back of her head or rearview mirrors that only she could see. "I bet you knew you'd be seeing me sooner or later."

"What are you?!" Chie demanded of the impostor.

"Don't ask stupid questions," she laughed, voice distorted. "Let's cut the bullshit. And I mean Yukiko's bullshit."

"What… do you… what are you saying?"

Waving a hand up toward the roof, she went on, "Yukiko thinks you're 'so kind'. That you protect her, right? We know that's not what you want from her at all." When she didn't respond, the clone smirked. "You're thrilled to death she depends on you. The most beautiful girl in school, and she needs you — some grubby little bitch who couldn't tell eyeshadow from lipstick. Man, do you get a charge out of that!"

"I… I do not!" she shouted, trying to put her head down and run faster — to ignore this pretender. She had been warned that there were frightening shadows all around them, and this was further proof; it was a trick. One she refused to fall for.

"Where ya goin'?" the clone pouted as she sped up to match pace. "Gotta go save your princess? Of course you do. She can't do anything while you're not around. Helpless like a lost puppy, right?"

Teeth gnashing, she snarled out, "Yukiko is not a puppy!"

"But you wish she was. If she was a helpless dog, yipping around your heels… then you would be set, wouldn't you? What else would you need with a devoted, needy little bitch to boss around?"

"I… excuse me?! What did you call her?" Chie finally stopped, turning to snarl at the girl who stopped as easily as if they had planned this weeks ago. "She's not a bitch! A-and she's not helpless! So you can shut up and go back to wherever you came from, because I have a friend to save!"

And then she left her in the dust.

Determination radiated off her entire body as she leapt over one of the shadows, landed on the face of another and demolished it. They seemed to sap her endurance a little at a time, but she also felt stronger somehow with each one she defeated. Just like training in her secret hideout when she was little; she might be getting tired now, but she would be able to handle more next time.

"You're right."

Her jaw tightened. "Thought I told you to leave me alone."

"You said to go back to where I came from," Other-Chie corrected with a Cheshire cat grin. "And I did! Right here with you!"

"Yukiko needs me! So unless you're going to help me save her-"

"Are you kidding? Like I said, you're right; she's not really that weak. Yukiko doesn't need you. It's the other way around, isn't it?" That shut her up, so the shadow went on, "You don't know the first thing about being a girl. So terrible at it. And she's kind, and sweet, and trusting. What are you?"

"I… I'm her friend."

"No, you're really not," she laughed loudly, harshly. The beginnings of fresh tears stung the back of her throat as she took the next steps two at a time, wishing desperately that she could ditch this unkind spectre. "Because that girl cares about you, and all you care about is that she does. You don't actually like her at all; you find her too quiet, too meek. Too pretty."

"That's not-"

"But she does depend on you. And hey, why should you ditch her when she's so devoted to you? Keep her on the end of your leash like the bitch she is."

"STOP!" Chie begged — and went down hard when her shoe tripped over the top stair, rolling a couple of times onto her side. Her knee had borne the brunt of the fall and now it throbbed in pain, and she automatically tried to massage it. "Just… just leave me alone, I… I do like her, she is my friend! My BEST friend!"

"Awwwwww, is she though?" More false pouting as she crouched over the real Chie. "Can she really be your friend if you want to keep her under your thumb? Totally codependent?"

Growling, she began to crawl forward, wishing she had a good pair of earplugs.

"Can't escape the truuuuth," she sing-songed.

"Go away."

"Just let yourself enjoy it. Give in. In fact… Yukiko is right on the other side of that door."

That made Chie sit up a little straighter. Was she really? Somehow, she knew it was true; she could sense a presence on the other side of the floor-to-ceiling double-doors now that they were so close.

"Yukiko?"

"That's right. So go in there and grind her under the heel of your boot. Show her that you're-"

Completely ignoring the rest of her shadow's words, Chie burst from the ground with renewed adrenaline and kicked open the doors.

"Yukiko!" But the princess didn't move. "Yukiko, what's wrong?!"

As she laughed, madly and maniacally, Yukiko did finally turn around. And she was just as otherworldly and demented as the Chie-clone that had been hounding her heels. Mostly, they looked the same, outfit notwithstanding; it was the eyes… they were almost golden, they blazed with such a yellow intensity. Something about them was most certainly wrong.

"Oh my! A prince has arrived! Things are really heating up!"

Gritting her teeth, Chie pointed at her and said, "No… you're not Yukiko. You're not her at all!"

"What are you talking about?" she gasped, full of false innocence. "I am she, and she is me! We are we."

"Oui oui," Chie's clone added with a light chuckle. A sick lurch shot through her stomach when she realised the clone had followed her inside. Now she had to deal with two of them.

"Oooh la laaaa," the false Yukiko giggled as she pressed an open palm to the center of her chest, just above her ample cleavage. "But I'm afraid if you really want to woo your princess, you'll have to wait! Deeper in, deeper in!"

The shadow of Chie approached her opposite number. Were they in league with each other? Rivals? Maybe they were part of the same being, a monster that wanted to manipulate the people that fell through the TV into this hellscape… but all she did was reach up and grasp at Yukiko's hair, snapping her head backward.

"AH!"

"I'll go deeper in," she promised with a little smirk. "And I don't want to wait."

"Mmhh! Yes, my Prince!" That obscenely lovesick look on her face made Chie turn away from them, throat tight with disgust. "But you can only have me here! I think she wants the other me!"

"Does she? Yes… yes, of course she does." She looked up in time to see the other Chie glowering down at her, despite the sinister smile. "Owning just one of you isn't enough; we need both of you in our cage."

Chie wanted to smack both of their heads together. But then something Yukiko had said pushed through to her: 'deeper in'. She knew where the real Yukiko was.

"Take me to her."

"Huh?" She tilted her head, silky black hair falling to the side. "Take you what where?"

"Don't play dumb. Just… take me to my best friend! You can do whatever you want to me, but I need to see her… I need to know she's okay!"

Against all her expectations, Fake Yukiko pouted instead of looking interested or pleased. "But that's not how this is supposed to work. You do whatever you want to me. Right? I don't wanna be the prince, I wanna be the princess!" And she actually began to sniffle a little.

"Hey, don't cry," the other Chie said with a slight chuckle, tightening her grip on the back of her hair. "I'll make you feel good if you don't cry."

"Y-you will?"

"Hey, HEY!" she shouted over the two of them. "Focus! How about this: I'll help her do that to you, whatever she wants — or I want, or whatever… if you take me to Yukiko first!"

"Oh!" The false Yukiko's face lit up with joy, cheeks turning as pink as her vile princess dress. "You promise? It's not worth it if you don't promise, I wanna hear you say it!"

"I promise. Now, can we get a move on?"

While Yukiko was giggling and literally bouncing up and down for joy, the other Chie started clapping, nodding in approval. "Daaaamn, I'm a little shocked, Satonaka. You're playing her like a fiddle. Thought you were going to insist you're nothing like me, but you're doing exactly what I would do. Bravo!"

"Just cut that out already and let's go," she groaned, burying her face in her hands. Then she felt herself being hoisted into the air. "Wha- WHOA! What are you doing?!"

"Just what you said," she sighed as false Yukiko hitched up her skirts and dashed through the other door toward the stairs. The other Chie fell in step behind her, toting the real one in a princess carry as easily as if she were a bag of flour. "Taking you to see both halves of your whole. Or should I say 'your hole'? Eh? Great pun, right?"

"Disgusting. I can't believe you can talk about her that way — and you call yourself another part of me!"

Her smirk should have been illegal. "Ohhh, but I am. And I see right through all of your bullshit. She's a trophy to you; an ornamental piece. A refrigerator magnet. No… more like, one of those cute little buttons you have pinned to the front of your jacket there." Her head nodded down at said buttons. The sleepy smiley face had always been her favourite, but now she just wanted to rip them off and throw them away. "Something you can wear around and show everyone. Maybe that's what the red one is, right? Is that your Yukiko button?"

"It's… my 'I love exercise' button. And if you're really me, you would know that."

"But it is red, like her favourite colour," she kept teasing.

"Sh-shut up. And do you have to carry me like this?! I can walk, y'know — like my button says!"

"It says you can walk?"

"No, it says I love- just shut up! GOD!"

Laughing openly at her, Other-Chie scoffed, "I'm faster than you. And I won't be a panting, sweaty mess when we get to the top floor… well, maybe once we're there…"

"Does everything you say have to be a double entendre?!"

However, she seemed to be dead on the money. In no time, they were at the top floor, and entering an ornate throne room. Somehow, the shadow Yukiko had gotten there ahead of them with enough time to spare that she could seat herself, and look as prim and proper as if she had been waiting for them for an hour. And there, at the bottom of the red carpet-lined steps leading up to the dais, was…

"YUKIKO!" Springing out of her double's arms, she ran forward and knelt by her side, curling an arm around her shoulders. This Yukiko was wearing a light pink kimono, as she typically did when working at her parents' very traditional Japanese inn.

"My, my, it's getting crowded in here," the shadow on the throne chuckled as she rose from her seat, stepping to the edge of the dais. "Why don't you and I go somewhere else? A land far, far away, where no one knows me. If you're my prince, you'll take me there, won't you? C'mon, pretty please?"

"Do you… mean me?" Chie asked hesitantly. She was a little worried about how the real Yukiko hadn't said anything yet, but curiosity would not let her ignore the shadow entirely.

"Of course, Chie! She's my prince. She always leads the way; Chie is a strong prince." Then she sighed and added, "Or at least, she was."

"Was?" the Other-Chie demanded, eyebrows shooting up.

"When it comes down to it, Chie's just not good enough. She can't take me away from here — can't save me! Historic inn? Manager training? I'm sick of all these things chaining me down — sick of everything being decided for me!"

"The hell I can't save you!" It was a disbelieving scoff, and the other shadow began to stride up the stairs as she continued, "I'm your prince, aren't I? I can do whatever I want with you. And you'll be grateful, because you know I won't let anything bad happen to you ever again. Well… nothing that I'm not doing to you myself."

Even while Chie herself was reeling in fresh disgust, the other Yukiko's eyes were widening. "You will? I m-mean… I really thought you couldn't help me escape my prison."

"I'll destroy your prison and make you a new one," Other-Chie said… and as she reached the top of the stairs, something about her changed. One blink, and she was identical to the real Chie; the next, a large crown appeared on her head to match the thin, delicate tiara on Other-Yukiko's head. The jacket stayed the same colour but turned into something more royal, with gold braids hanging down in loops over the shoulders. Medals replaced the buttons. And her school skirt became grey tights.

"A new one just for me?" Other-Yukiko gasped in wonder.

"Thick bars made of diamonds. The floor will be polished marble, your cot in the corner will be velvet…" Her hands smoothed up Yukiko's neck, gripping in the hair and tilting her head up. "And your collar will be made of the finest leather money can buy."

"Chie…?"

Her attention instantly diverted from the shadows to the real Yukiko Amagi. She was still huddled in her arms, dazed eyes finally focusing on the stairs, up at the two figures. Then turning to the one holding her.

"Yes?" she breathed. "Are you okay?"

"Chie, what… what is… going on? How did I get here?" Already, her eyes were watering as she whispered, "A-are we going to die?"

It wasn't that Yukiko was a coward, or a weakling. She was stronger than she knew. But she saw herself as weak and helpless. Chie had always tried to encourage her to train with her, thinking the kung fu might help offset that meekness, but she had shied away from it — insisting it would be seen as 'unladylike' by her extremely conservative mother. Frowned upon as something ill-suited for a girl who would one day help run the Amagi Inn to be caught doing.

"No," she whispered, a smile finally pulling at her mouth for the first time since she had entered the TV. "No way. I got your back."

"I've been s-so scared," she whispered fearfully as she trembled in her arms. "I don't know wh- don't know what's going on, but I kept thinking, if… if only you came… but how did you know where I was?"

"Boo hoo," Other-Chie jeered at them. And when she turned to look…

This was a very different scene now. Her princely green coat was now draped over her back like a cape, yakuza-style. The rest of her clothing was… something else. Was it some kind of metal bikini? Maybe it was gold; that would explain the yellow sheen. And between the thigh-high boots and opera gloves, and the smug look on her plain face… the outfit was definitely giving it a very specific connotation.

"Isn't it sickening?" Other-Yukiko sighed, shaking her head as her arms folded in front of her chest — in just the right way to push her breasts up. "They cling to each other like they're going to fall apart. And how can that other me just blubber and cry all the time?"

Other-Chie grinned and started sliding her hand up and down the small of her Yukiko's back. "Mmm, forget about them. The real Chie and Yukiko have business to attend."

"Ooooh," she giggled. "What kind of business?"

"Let's get out of here," the real Yuki whispered. "Just… j-just let them do whatever that is, and… and you and I can go back to Marukyu Tofu and… and have something for dinner, and w-we'll just… forget all about this. Okay? If… if you know the way out?"

Her eyes were so hopeful when she looked up at Chie. As always. That was the look that got to her more than she had ever wanted to admit. Which, unfortunately, contributed to how badly the shadow version of herself was getting to her with each and every word…

"Look at her face," said shadow snorted instantly, grinning wolfishly down at the original Chie. "She finally gets it. She sees the ugly black mold under the tatami that she had been pretending didn't stink for years. Yukiko Amagi is nothing but a tool to her."

"And she loves being a tool," her Yukiko breathed as she sat her Chie in the throne, then crawled into her lap, petting up and down her arms. "I know I do."

"Come on!" the real Yukiko whispered. "Can't we go away? Do you know the way home?"

"Y-yeah," Chie whispered. Then she cleared her throat and stood up. "We're going. Back the way we came; if we can get out of the castle, I think I can take us to where we can go back through the TV."

"Through the what?! I'm- WHOA! Chie-chan!"

Not wanting to mince words, she started dragging Yukiko away from the steps. The other girl couldn't move very fast, but it was as much about the restrictive kimono as it was her inferior athletic ability. But she would never give voice to it, never have complained about-

"Why is she SOOOO slow?!" Of course, Other-Chie said it for her. "Doesn't she ever even go outside? Pathetic!"

"Actually… there's something wrong, my Prince."

"What?"

"They haven't paid us back yet."

"Ohhhh. I believe you're — right!"

A loud din of jangling metal filled the air as Chie suddenly found herself stopped short, just a few more strides from the doors. When she looked down, she saw her arms were pinned to her sides by thick chains, and they were already trying to drag her back toward the throne.

"Hey!" she shouted, struggling. "What the hell is this?!"

"You promised!" Other-Yukiko wailed, pouting as the toothily-grinning Other-Chie dragged her back toward them, up the steps and onto the dais. It hurt, but her pride was wounded far more than her body.

"Promised wh… oh. OH! B-but you already have the other me, isn't that enough?"

"You're my prince! Why should I only want one of you when two princes who adore me is twice the fun?"

Her shadow chuckled. "She's got you there, Satonaka."

Now Chie had a dilemma. She could see Yukiko approaching the steps, expression panicked and worried for her best friend. And all she wanted was for her to escape, to save herself. Her entire goal in entering the TV was to get Yukiko out of there!

Then she thought about something else. There were more shadows than their two clones roaming those stone hallways; all manner of beasts and ghouls and assorted horrors. Yukiko was not a fighter; never had been. She still needed her. Even if she hated that she liked it, that didn't make it untrue.

"Alright!" she gasped out. "Okay, let me out of these chains, and… and I'll do it. I'm sorry, I forgot."

"You forgot?!" Yukiko asked incredulously.

"No, no, she did," her own shadow mused, eyes narrowed down at her. "So obsessed with Amagi that we stopped mattering, didn't we? You're as codependent as she is."

"Sure, yeah, whatever. Let's get on with it. What am I supposed to be doing?"

The eyes remained narrowed, but her smirk came into full bloom. "You know already."

"What? No, I really don't. Should I pull her hair like you did?"

"Chie?" asked the real Yukiko as the fake one smiled wider. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Yuki-chan. Really, it's… I promised them…" She didn't want to continue, but her shadow had other plans, and nudged her hard with her elbow. "I promised I would d-do whatever they wanted if they took me to you. And I mean… they did, so…"

As her friend looked stricken and confused, the false Yukiko nuzzled up against her side. "Do whatever you want to me. It's going to make me feel so safe, so loved! Like my prince cares about me!"

"But she's your prince!" she protested, nodding at the other Chie.

"We're both her prince. How are you still not getting this? No wonder our grades are in the toilet; we're just dumb as a fencepost, huh?" Then she picked up Chie's hands and guided them to the princess's neck. "Do what comes natural. Go on."

"What comes… natural…" Well, putting her hands on Yukiko's neck sure didn't feel that way. Even if this monster was a fake, it had her noble features, her little bow mouth… which was slightly parted in anticipation.

They wanted her to choke her. It hit her like a ton of bricks, and her hands shot away as if burned. Yukiko pouted, and Other-Chie rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Please, stop this," asked the real Yukiko, bowing politely. Just as she had been trained to do. "W-we just want to leave. Is that so wrong? We want to go home!"

"Not until she fulfils her promise," Other-Yukiko pouted. "And it's such an easy one! All she has to do is put me in my place like she already wants to do — everybody wins! I get to belong to my Prince, and she gets to enjoy owning me!"

Yukiko was revolted. "What are you saying?! You're a person, I- no, I'm a person, and so are you, and… who would want to be owned like they're some kind of thing?!"

"Why, we do, obviously. We want a hot stud to sweep us off our feet, so we don't have to think about anything at all! Not managing an inn, not grades, not responsibilities. Living the life of a pet sounds so inviting, doesn't it?"

As she went on, the real Yukiko was beginning to look despondent. And Chie knew why; because she was right — at least partially. It didn't mean she really wanted a life like that, but as she was now beginning to understand, it meant there was a part of Yukiko that found the idea of running away from everything that was expected of her to be an extremely appealing notion. And that it distorted the bonds of their friendship. All the things she had heard Yukiko saying before, echoing off the walls… those were probably her honest feelings and wishes. Everything the shadow spouted was the worst possible version of said feelings.

"Well, I'm not going to do this forever," Chie warned them with a sigh as she reached into the shadow Yukiko's hair and scratched behind her ear. "But I will for a little while. I did promise, I guess."

"Mmm," she hummed, and the false Chie also watched with satisfaction. "My prince… it feels so good, I'm so yours…"

"Doesn't she have any self-respect?" the real Yuki muttered. But it was loud enough they could hear her.

"She doesn't. You know that she doesn't and you don't." Other-Chie began to stride down the steps toward her, a red whip appearing in her hands, already pulled taut. "But while they're busy… would you like to find out how they're feeling up there? So boring, sitting around on the sidelines."

Instantly, the real Chie stepped away from the pet, letting her fall onto her elbows from the unexpected absence of her master. "You leave her alone. That's not part of the promise."

"It's a bonus," her opposite chuckled with a smirk. "All she has to do is say 'yes'."

"But…" She had to think fast. As usual, Yukiko looked too terrified of the imposing shadow, of the whip in her hands, to protest; she might even give in. "But I… but your Yukiko wants us both!"

One eyebrow raised as she turned to smirk back over her shoulder. "But they are both ours. Every Yukiko belongs to us for all eternity. Doesn't that make you feel so good? Makes them feel good."

"So good," Other-Yukiko echoed, rubbing up and down her upper arms as her eyes closed in bliss at the mere fantasy.

"You lay one finger on her and the deal is off," Chie pushed stubbornly. "I said I would… d-do things to the other Yukiko, but you getting to torture my best friend isn't part of that!"

A little "Chie…" slipped out of Yukiko's lips. Then she swallowed hard and said to the other one, "Y-yes, please don't touch me. I… I don't want…"

"Liar," she insisted.

"I am not lying! I'm scared, I d-don't want to be here! And I don't want you to hurt m-"

She cut off with a yelp as the whip came whistling down, hitting the ground right next to her fingers. She clutched both hands to her chest and shrank in on herself, eyes slammed shut as she tried to blot out everything and everyone.

"She wants it," Other-Chie said with certainty. "Look at how pathetic she is. Not trying to fight me off, can't even move now."

Other-Yukiko laughed and began to paw at Chie's leg, which made her a lot more uncomfortable than she could have imagined. "Poor little bitch thinks she's too good for our collars. Speaking of which…"

Suddenly, the other Chie was standing over her and holding a black spiked dog collar, dangling off the end of her index finger. She began to twirl it around and around. "Happy birthday to us."

"What's… what are you doing with that?" Now it was in real Chie's own hands. The leather was warm and heavy, and the shadow Yukiko's neck was slender, calling out for its companion. "Oh."

"Please?" she breathed needily. "Just… put it on, and we'll both be so happy…"

So she put it on. She couldn't bear to face the real Yukiko, but she managed to slide the leather around her doppelganger's throat and fit it snugly without being too tight. A sigh of gratitude fell from her as soon as it was complete, and she smiled up at Chie with what seemed like genuine affection.

"I thought you had seen how worthless I am," she whispered. "But you want me all to yourself? Really?"

"S-stop it," she muttered as she cleared her throat. "I did it because it's… what you wanted. A trade for Yukiko."

"But I'm-"

"What else do you want me to do? Huh? So we can get it done, and… and I can go home."

Now the false Yukiko looked as if she might cry. Her real life counterpart crept forward to kneel on the second step, getting a better look. Other-Chie clicked her tongue, though her expression remained as smug as ever. "So mean. Give her what she wants, and then make her feel like doggie doo. What a power move; really keep her on your leash this way."

"Cut that OUT!" Chie snapped.

"Whoa, touchy! I can't help it if the truth is too weird for you."

"You don't want to be here with me," Other-Yuki finally breathed, and Chie found herself actually feeling a pinprick of remorse. "Can't you play with me a little more before you go? I… I'm gonna miss you…"

"Oh… fine, fine. Tell me what it is you want me to do."

Her expression full of sappy affection — and the real Yukiko's full of disbelief and outrage — she began to hitch up her skirts. "Well, I did pick out something very special to wear today — so I can catch a stud, like you! But it looks like I got defeated, and these are going to waste, so… I thought-"

"Wait, wait, I'm not- you want me to see your underwear?!"

"Not just see it…"

Cold flooded the pit of her stomach. She turned wide eyes on the real Yukiko, who still seemed dazed but was now frowning a lot deeper than before, then back to the legs that were appearing beneath the hem of the clone's dress.

"No."

"Don't you want to go home?" she purred as her thighs came into view. "Play with me. Make me feel really, really good… and you might get that wish. Pretty please?"

"NO! You're a shadow, a- a demon! Why would I do something for you I've barely ever done to myself — much less anybody else?!"

The shadow Yukiko got a little more insistent, pout more pronounced. "Because I'm your princess! Touch me — make my body come alive for you! Turn me into your willing servant!"

"Come on, stop it!"

"Why? Give me one good reason you shouldn't be ripping off my clothes and having your way with m-"

"Because I wanna do this with the REAL Yukiko, not YOU!"

                                                     To Be Continued…