#ALSO I KNOW IM EMBARRASING LEAVE ME ALONE BUT I NEED TO YELL.

[avvidstarion]

ok nobody look at this cause I’m embarrassed but i’m having feelings about s*pernatural in the year 2020 and i need to get them out and far away from me as quickly as possible

okokokokok ANYWAY,,, dean winchester deserved better. like. imagine having one of your main characters be an addict, be a traumatized abuse survivor,  be some level of suicidal, and constantly say that he thinks he’s gonna die young (ish) and violently and stuck in a life he didn’t want. he says this constantly and it’s supposed to be tragic. imagine having this character. and then imagine PROVING HIM RIGHT. that’s FUCKING DISGUSTING and I am offended on behalf of dean winchester and people who still give a shit about him and the show.  cas has LITERALLY TOLD HIM “you don’t think you deserve to be saved”. GUESS THAT WAS TRUE HUH GUESS HE DOESN’T DESERVE TO HAVE A GOOD LIFFE. GUESS HE DESERVES TO DIE AS A PRODUCT OF HIS FATHER’S ABUSE. like way to send a good message to your audience. supernatural has never given a shit about its fans and this is just them beating a dead horse into the ground at this point (fitting). and i’m not even gonna get into how this doesn’t make sense from, like, a story structure standpoint bc that’s obvious. why have cas sacrifice his life for dean only to have him die a week later. why have dean get killed in such a stupid way. etc etc etc. 

and like. i am NOT gonna call dean fucking winchester gay rep, because it was q baiting and always intended to be q baiting and i’m not gonna delude myself into thinking otherwise. people deserve better than an average character (not dean hate, spn can’t have the emotional depth to have above average characters) played by an average and homophobic actor on a shitty fucking CW show.  cas being gay was just a marketing strategy to get people to talk about the last couple episodes. BUT. the fact that they’d rather kill dean off in a stupid fucking way than have him actually address the fact that another man had gay thoughts for him is really telling. just goes to show how fucking baity it was. 

anway tldr dean dying like that was super obviously shitty writing (surprise, surprise /s) and so was the whole show and i’m sorry to anyone who relates to him or has ever related to him bc we deserve better than to be told that we’re gonna die and the only peace we can ever have is in dying and that we’ll have to kick it in heaven with our abusive fathers for the rest of eternity

[iwadori]

hii i saw ur taking requests and I wanted to ask if you could do a fic with the miya twins,suna and iwa comforting their s/o after they have a dream of them cheating on her? tysm!

Cheating Misunderstandings with the haikyu boys (Osamu,Atsumu)

Word Count:1.8K

Genre:angst,fluff

masterlist

AN: This was kind of on the lines of what you wanted, but I hope you enjoy it. Also you guys will see an ‘Empress appearance’ in this work....so don’t kill me.

Osamu:

You were walking to miya onigiri ready to pick up Samu to go home

But when you got to the front door you see Osamu in the shop winding touching another girl

You couldn’t see the girl or Osamu properly because of the angle you were at

But you wouldn’t say your eyes were decieving you, so you did what you should do turn on your heel and get out of there.

You were back at your apartment and you were fuming, you were at your desk and decided that distracting yourself with your mountainous amount of paperwork that you had for your job would be better than sitting down and stewing over watching your boyfriend cheat on you.

‘How long has this been going on,’ you thought to yourself ‘Who even is she? She can’t be a worker’ since you knew everyone that worked there and the manager Empress would definitely not let a worker get with Osamu since you were besties after all.

Distracting yourself, obviously didn’t work and you sent yourself into a spiral of social stalking, trying to find this girl. Which didn’t work, as you only saw her hair and her height which was around a foot shorter than Osamu’s. ‘Stupid Osamu’ you thought, how could he do this? Why would you do this?

You wanted to cry, you were going to cry. Outside you heard a car door shut, and looking out your window you saw Osamu walking out the car with his keys in his mouth and bags (presumably food) in his hand.  

You heard some knocking, well kicking at your front door and a light shout of “Babe, can you open the door my arms our pretty full here.” You didn’t answer, you didn’t even move cause you knew if you saw his face it’ll most likely be him saying ‘Y/N im sorry, but theres someone else’ the thought alone made you cringe. You were knocked out of your thoughts with again the kicking of the door and Osamu saying with a laugh “C’mon babe all you really gonna leave a guy stranded out here, ive got your favourite too and its going to get cold”

You reluctantly opened the door, not actually greeting Osamu and just going back to your room to pack away your paper work and close your laptop. To your surprise Osamu was behind you and gave you a quick kiss to your cheek, which you would usually smile and ease into but today you cringed and quickly moved. Making Osamu look at you with a side eye.

By time he was setteled in you were sitting down at the dinner table eating, with the sound of Gordon Ramsey’s Hell Kitchen filling your awkward silence. Osamu did try to speak to you but you always just responded with “yeah,” “sure,” or “maybe.” Short simple answers that Osamu definitely didn’t like.

When dinner was over and it was the time when you two usually watched a shitty reality tv show together, you decided to go to bed early to avoid any more awkward conversation with Osamu. But before you could clamber into bed, Osamu grabs your arm saying “Y/N, what’s wrong with you?”

“What do you mean Samu?” you say with a forced smile on your face even though he couldn’t see it, you just did so he didn’t see you start to tear up “nothing’s wrong with me.”

“Are you Y/N?”

“mhm” you murmured trying to shrug off his hold, you sniffled a bit (attempting to do it quietly) but he heard it.

“No y/n, what’s wrong can’t you just turn around.” The force of you pulling away and he pulling you close, left you falling onto your bed and the tears just started to fall. Osamu immediately crouched down to your eye line “whats wrong love?” he said with a tender voice.

You shook your head in response, “what’s wrong?? Please tell me Y/N.”

“Why would you do that to me?” you say your voice breaking as the tears streamed your face. Osamu started to panick seeing you cry.

“Do what Y/N, what do you mean?”

“You cheated on me? Was I not enough for you? Don’t you love me anymore.”

“Who Y/N!Who.?”

“You touched her, I saw you. I can’t believe you would do that. In public as well” you accused “How could you do that to me.”

“Y/N, baby listen I don’t know what you mean?”

“Don’t call me that Miya, you’re such a fucking liar oh my god.”

“Can you please explain to me what you’re talking about?”

“You. In the shop. I saw you, touching her” you say scowling saying the last line as if It was poisonous.

“In the shop? What do you-” a spark flashed in Osamus eyes before he stood up and started pulling you out the room “You need to come with me.”

“Miya, what are you doing? I’m not going anywhere with you.” you groaned

“Yes you are, and stopped calling me that.”  

He dragged you outside to his car and opened the door for you, standing expectedly waiting for you to get in. “Im not getting in,” you say folding your arms

“Oh yes you are. Just get in the car.”

“But im in my roblox pyjamas” you groaned again feeling like a child.

“And you still hot babe don’t worry” he said winking at you ushering you into the car “Just get in it’ll be a quick ride anyways.”

You pulled outside of onigiri miya and Osamu begin to drag you out again taken you to the office where the security cameras are. He did something on the community and pulled up a date and time which was the time you were at the store earlier.

Playing on the screen was the recording and the incident which you saw before, but this one was a differnet angle. You saw a girl walking one way and Osamu walking the over with a drink in his hand, him spilling the drink on her and cleaning her off with a paper towel. Which you thought was him groping and touching her.

Your cheeks heated up hard in embarrasment, as you realised how you acted and how you got it all wrong. You saw Osamu with a glint in his eye and smirk on his face and before he could say anything you said “Dont. Let’s get back to the car.”  

All was forgotten on your car ride home and you decided to discuss eachothers days (skipping out the ‘cheating’ part.) However after you watched you shows and finally gotten into bed, when Osamu was holding you right against his chest (so close where you could hear his heartbeat) he said, “Y/N, although we agreed to not talk about this incident...even though I will definitely be telling Empress, I just want to let you know that I will never even think about cheating on you let alone actually doing it, I love you so much that the idea of cheating is so uncomprehendable I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Love you ‘Samu, and I'm sorry for making this into a big old thing when I could’ve just asked you about it.” you say in response

“It’s okay babe,” he said kissing your forehead “It’s okay.”

Atsumu

You and Atsumu have been dating fairly recently meeting in your through your friend Empress who was the manager at Atsumu’s brother Osamu’s shop Onigiri Miya.

You’ve only been together 6 months and you’re ready to tell him that you love him

However you being the perfectionist that you are, wanted it to be perfect so of course you had to practice on friend, Empress’ boyfriend Hajime.

“Okay so go.”

“Atsumu, I think you’re a stand-up guy and you’re pretty cute can I love ya.” you said punching Iwa on the arm.

“Y/N, you can’t say that.” Empress said face palming.

“Okay, Atsumu I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up?”

“No dad jokes Y/N.” Hajime said shaking his head

“Why theyre soo funny, what about Atsumu you’re a pain in my ass.” you said winking at Empress.

“Gosh Y/N! Take this seriously for once.” Hajime said blushing at your obvious innuendo.

“Well how did you two confess you undying love to eachother?” you asked and smiled at both their reactions, knowing that they definitely haven’t done that.

“Just say your confession Y/N,” Empress said rolling her eyes

“Okay Atsumu,” you said taking a deep breath “Ever since I met you after your brother spilt a drink on me at his shop and you tried to cheer me up with your terrible jokes I knew that you were the one for me. I love your passion, your drive your determination to make me feel better all the time even when I don’t need you too. I love being with you and I...”

Hajime looked at you expectedly, “I love you,” you said smiling “There I said it I love you!”

“Oh my gosh Y/N! That was so cute you should definitely sa-”

“What the fuck Y/N!” exclaimed a voice next to you “You love this clown.”

“Who are you calling a clown,” said Iwa squaring up to Atsumu making both you and Empress roll your eyes at the heeping testoterone filling the area.  

“Haji let’s go,” said Empress dragging her boyfriend away “and Y/N I'm pretty sure you two need to talk.”

When Hajime and Empress were an ear shot away, Atsumu looked at you with a glare. “So Y/N, is this what you’re doing now slu-”

“Don’t even go there ‘tsumu, you’re such an ass sometimes.” You say walking away “And by the way I was practicing with Iwa to say I fucking love you, you asshole.”

You already stormed off before Atsumu yelled, “Wait! You love me?”

“Of course I do you ass.” you say scowling.

Atsumu jogs over to you and says, “I love you too Y/N” he picks you up and tosses you about in the air, practically doing sommersaults, “Im so happy! Wait till I tell Osamu bout this he’s probably hasn’t told his girlfriend about this.”

“Babe, they’ve been dating for years” You said with a laugh “But go ahead ‘tsumu tell the world.”

“I’m sorry for misunderstanding things.”

“And...?”

“And I'm sorry for calling Iwa a clown, knowing he would definitely beat my ass.”

“And..?”

“And I'm sorry for being an ass.” he said with his head down.

“You are an ass Atsumu,” you said with a smile “But you’re my favourite pain in the ass.” You said winking at him making him burst out with laughter at your stupid innuedo.

Whenever Atsumu sees Osamu he tells him about how much you both love eachother, which always leads them into an argument about who has the better girlfriend and who loves their girlfriend more which always has you laughing.

AN: do you guys see the connection between the two?? Cause if you see the connection I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER :3 Hope you guys enjoyed it, what do you guys think?

[hansolvrnonchwe]

My Diamond Edge Experience

, alright im just gonna list off everything that happened

so we got there at like 3 

and the concert didnt start until 7

so we were waiting for quite awhile

there were a lot of people selling merch but i didnt want to spend too much money because i wanted to buy official merch

which they didnt sell btw just a warning

i was pissed

but anyway, everyone was super sweet

and there were so many people wearing rose quartz and serenity 

i was wearing black lmao

but people were handing out free bracelets and stuff

and this girl saw that i was wearing my vernon shirt and she gave me vernons 17 Carat black ver. postcard and a Going Seventeen photocard and then she took a selfie w me and my friend

she was just so sweet 

whoever you are, i love you.

and i ended up getting some pretty vernon fanart, a seungcheol photocard, and a Hoshi fan pack (which I did pay $10 for)

i ended up meeting the producer from Form of Therapy which is a v good Youtube channel

my voice cracked so much tho lmao

and he filmed me for a youtube video and i was sO AWKWARD I WANT TO DIE OH MY GOD

i will actually be surprised if he uses the footage

anyway, after several hours we finally got into the venue

i actually saw god when that air conditioner hit me

we went to our seats after realizing there wasnt gonna be merch

and while we were waiting for it to start they were playing the mvs for Very Nice, Check In, Healing, Adore U, Love Letter, Mansae, BoomBoom, and Pretty U all on a loop

and the crowd was so hyped during the MVs alone man

and it finally hot 7:00 and suddenly they played Love Letter again

but it was out of order 

so we knew something was going on

and the after Love Letter they played Dont Wanna Cry and everyone freaked the fuck out because it was the first time they played it

and so we all stood up and after the music video the lights went out

and i swear to i god i was so shooketh

seventeen came out on stage after a dramatic opening and began Pretty U

and it was so loud

i couldnt even hear myself speak

and i tried to wave my lightstick but it had no batteries because im dumb

and they performed a few more songs before pausing to introduce themselves

hoshi was so cute oh my god

he kept yelling “HOSHI’S BACK”

throughout the entire concert 

it was sssoooooo cute

joshua and vernon obviously spoke in english the whole time but the rest of the members spoke in korean and had a translator which was rlly cool

they taught us a fanchant where they would yell “SEVENTEEN CARAT”

and we would clap twice and put our hands to the side and say “EDGE”

it was great

performance unit performed OMG, Highlight, and Swimming fool

and nobody knew the rlly fast highlight fan chant but me and this one girl

and we made eye contact 2 rows apart whilst screaming seventeens names at the top of our lungs

it was magical

hip hop unit performed If I, Check In, and Vol. 14 from the mixtape

ive said it many times but seungcheol had me so shook

he went fucking IN during Check In

like

damn b

vocal unit performed Habits, a spooky version of Dont Listen in Secret, and We Gonna Make it Shine

Dont Listen in Secret is one of my all time favorite songs 

and the spooky version made it so much better

its so underrated

they all performed great bops

like Crazy in Love and Chuck and stuff

and then they stopped to talk again and they were like “yo we’re gonna leave after this song but we love you”

AND I WAS DEVASTATED 

because the main songs they hadn’t performed were Don’t Wanna Cry and Healing

and I knew they were gonna perform Don’t Wanna Cry 

but i was looking forward to healing so much because its my favorite

so anyway

they performed Don’t Wanna Cry

and then left stage

and a video of them all talking about what Carats mean to them started playing w smile flower playing the the bg

everyone was crying

mingyu was like “you guys are my oxygen”

and it was hella cheesy but i cried anyway

and then the video ended 

anD THEY CAME BACK ON STAGE AND WE WERE SHOOK

AND THEY WERE LIKE “IT’S NOT REALLY OVER BITCHES”

and they performed Shining Diamond 

i swear to god ive never screamed “I know I’m only seventeen I only got a few dollars” so loud

and then they performed Healing and i was emo bc its my favorite

and seungcheol got on dino’s back and i was living

and then they all did speeches and stuff

and it was so cute i was hella emo

“HOSHI’S BACK”

hoshi did aegyo

we all wanted to die but oh my god i saw hoshi doing aegyo live

so the concert ended fr

and they left stage

and us hi touch people stayed in our seats while everyone left

it took like 30-45 minutes for hi touch to actually start 

but it was probably so seventeen could rest

when it finally started the line moved quick

security were a bunch of assholes

we were ushered through there, man

Joshua was the first in line and he asked me how i was and we all know how soft and pretty his voice is but oh my god let me just say his voice is so soft and pRETTY I WAS SPEAKING TO AN ANGEL

seungcheols hair was wet and when i touched his hand i squeeled and he gave me a look of concern

my friend was in front of me and she said “layla calm down” in front of vernon

and vernon looked so confused

but then he got to me and he was like “ah yes, that makes sense”

it was so embarrasing i hate myself

at the very end minghao was thanking everyone and i got to hold his hand and tell him i love him and asdfghjkl hes so perfect

i blanked out for most of the hi touch and i dont remember most of it because of how shitty security was

they were yelling and pushing us through so fast

uughhhh i wish i couldve filmed

overall i did enjoy it a lot

it just wasnt super memorable because of how fast we were going

like i literally dont remember interacting with most of the members 

im really mad 

but anyway as soon as we got out there was a girl on the floor sobbing

which i wouldve done too if i wasn’t so disappointed with my hi touch tbh

but afterwards this girl went up to my friend and was like “did you do the hi touch?”

and my friend was like “yeah”

and the girl was like “cAN I TOUCH YOUR HAND?”

and my friend was like “yeah”

and the girl screamed

and it sounds really weird but i promise it was adorable

and from there the night ended and ive never wanted to die more because of post concert depression

a summary: mmt sucks, carats are the sweetest fandom ever, HOSHI’S BACK, seventeen will literally fuck you up live, its def worth it, my love for hansol was reinforced, seungcheol needs to chill, and hi touch was enjoyable but it also sucked and now i wanna die

[everytimeidosomethingstupid]

why am i like this

i get left alone for a day and my brain decides its time to melt down so ofc i leave every server im in and try to leave my partner and nwo i just want to die and never have to see anyone again but ive got uni tomorrow and i just ergh

i dont want to have to do this anymore

why cant i control myself instead of keeping to royally fucking everything up

i just really really need a hug and someone to look after me and instead im sat here w/out anyone eating beans from a can and my partner cants be here not that i fucking blame him i wuldnt wany to see me either 

especially after i yelled at him about therapy i just want to help but i cant and eventho what worked for me wont work for him i keep trying to pressure him into trying as tho thats going to change anything

and i yelled at him infront of people so i embarrased him nd the ignored him and hoestly i wish he’d dyump me and go find somenoe better for him who actually has empathy and compassion and doesnt try to force him to do things

and then ignore him when i knw he’s in a bad situation and its none of his fault but i dont want to lash otu and hurt him even more

if youre reading this im sorry bub i really am but i dont want you to have to keep going through this but i also dont want to loose you but idk i know you wont leave me so ii have to leave you but im too fucking selfish for that and i jut cant do it

so yeah sorry for this and if anyone has any advice or kindness or anything send it his way @ a-smeethy nt tagging him properly cause yeah but he needs it super ba d and i cant help him from here

fucks sake i cant even try to apolgise without making myself suound like a victim

please just go give him love from me

sorry

[seventhtea]

on this website, more of you guys make it seem like girls can do no wrong and every time a girl is mean it's justified.

well. I don't agree

When I was younger I was bullied. I used to come home from school and cry almost every day.

When I was in middle school, there was this group of girls that would talk about me like if I couldn’t hear them. At first, I thought maybe I’m being paranoid and they aren’t talking about me. They are just talking about someone else. It’s whatever. but no. I would hear them say things like “Bonnie is getting fatter than she was when school started.” or “one day Bonnie is going to get so fat she won't fit through the door” or “I can't imagine any one ever liking Bonnie because she's so ugly” after a while I started believing them. I hated myself before the school year was even half over. Around then was the first time I thought about suicide. Can you imagine? A middle schooler thinking about suicide? that's so fucked up. Well, it started to show in how I presented myself because around which made those girls and their boyfriends started calling me the emo girl. They stopped using my name and stopped calling me fat. But they called me emo and told me that maybe I should hurry up and kill myself already since I’m��only taking up space that someone better could be having. It was almost impossible for me to get out of bed every day and I dreaded walking to the bus from my house.

By the time I got to high school, I thought this will be different. The first high school I went to was huge. I had a few friends in middle school and most of them went to the same high school as me. One of them was this girl that had a boyfriend for almost a year by the time we started high school and it was amazing. I thought it was so cool that she found someone so early in her life that she wanted to stay with. Unfortunately, the guy didn’t feel the same. I went to this party that the girl invited me to and even though I didn’t want to go, I figured it would be fine. Well, when I got to the party I found the girl and her boyfriend (We will call them Steven and Jasmine). At one point Jasmine told me to wait with Steven while she went to get something and Steven decided that would be the moment to feel me up. He grabbed my ass and I pushed his hand away but didn’t say anything. So he took that as a cue to stick his hand up my skirt. I fought him off for a while but he was bigger than me and she chose then to walk back over. She called me a slut. She believed him when he said I was trying to force him. She told everyone I knew that I tried sleeping with him and that I was ugly so he obviously rejected me. Everyone believed her. 

Lucky for me, I moved away not too long after that. So I was only called a slut for a couple months. I moved to Colorado and I thought that since I was going to be in a different state, it will be better. I won't have to deal with the same mean people anymore. At my second high school, there was this girl that was really nice to me. She was the first person to talk to me at my new school and she invited me to sit with her and her friends at lunch. She introduced me to a bunch of new people and I felt like I could be happy there. After a while, she invited herself over to my house and I let her because I didn’t want to do anything to ruin this. so when she forced herself onto me I didn’t fight too much because I didn’t want to lose everything I was finally getting. After about the fifth time, I made her stop. I told her not to come over anymore if she was going to do that because I’m not into those kinds of things. She took it the wrong way. She would show up outside of my house and scream at me outside of my window. She would call my phone nonstop. she even said things like “if I can’t have you, no one can.” I remember being so scared constantly.

I had another “friend” at that school and much like jasmine, she thought I tried stealing her boyfriend. once she started telling people what a slut I was for flirting with her boyfriend, I decided I wouldn’t let it be like the last time. So I did start flirting with him. me and him got along really well after all. we even dated for a while after he broke up with her for being so mean to me without a real reason. so it wasnt just her being mean. I did steal her boyfriend after all. but i wouldn’t have even looked at him if she didn’t start calling me names and telling everyone that I was a dirty slut. I just wanted to do something to make her leave me alone. 

Around senior year, I moved to another high school. It was all the way across town with all the rich kids. I only went there because my mom lost her job and we had to move in with my grandma. When I got there, the girls constantly pointed out how cheap all of my clothes were and how old my bags were and how I had to use the free food program because I was to poor to afford the school lunches that were only about 2 dollars a day. most of this I ignored. It was annoying but they werent telling me to kill myself so I was fine. they started doing things like throwing out my gym clothes because they knew I couldnt afford new ones. or they would throw my school bag into the pool. They would push me anytime they walked past me. but most of this I thought I could deal with. but one day, i couldn’t take it and I broke down. You see, me and my brother had this prepaid cell that we shared. We went to the same school and if we needed anything or had an emergency, we would have a way to call our mom. but one day, after gym where the teacher yelled at me in front of the whole class because once again i didn’t have my gym clothes, i went back to my locker and my backpack was spilled out and my phone was gone. This phone was my safety device. It was what I had that would remind me that if i really felt that bad, i could have my mom pick me up and i would be fine. and they took it. It was found later in the toilet of a bathroom two floors down. when i got home that day I cried for hours. I couldn’t understand what it was that I did to make these strangers hate me so much.

the last two stories is about girls from my mock trial club. see, this guy from one of my classes pulled me aside one day and was like hey i know why you look so sad all the time. and i gave him my most unimpressed look and he grins and goes its because you arent in this really cool club. it was so dumb and simple and it made me laugh and i thought i could really be apart of this club if he was in it. i joined the club and i spent hours and hours there and i loved being able to see his smile everyday and then he did something that made me realise he isnt that great. He told me that he really likes me but he also likes 2 other girls just as much and that if we want to be with him, we have to convice him that we are the better one. obviously i wasnt going to get involved. i thought it was ridiculous and i dont like anyone enough for that. but i do hate to lose. I hated the thought of it. so when one of the other girls started calling me names, and told me he would never choose me because i was ugly, i thought there is no way im going to lose to a girl like this. So i told him i really like you also karin is a bitch and when he chose me i felt happy for about two seconds before karin started reminding people that im poor and ugly and fat and that no one would ever love me so the reason i won is because the boy didnt want me to be embarrased or he felt bad for me or something along those lines and i started believing her. every time i was with that boy i would feel like maybe she is right. he doesn’t like me. No one had me as paranoid as she did. 

and the last girl. in the club, we had these sort of roles. So, my friend was like the mom. she took care of everyone. she made sure everyone was fed and happy. There was this girl that was like the older sister that everyone went to for advice or to talk about love or whatever. and then there was me. I was the baby of the group. everyone called me baby. they said that i needed the most love and the most attention and that they always just felt like spoiling me. it was great and it was fun and there were days that i genuinely felt loved. But there was this girl. I dont even remember her role in the group, i just remember that she hated that i was the baby. She was constantly trying to convince everyone that i was just acting a certain way so they would think i needed attention. that i was just an attention whore. she convinced some of my “friends” that i was the reason that we wouldn’t make it to nationals and that i should just be kicked out. but the worst was when she convinced everyone that it was my fault that my friend had a break down in the middle of the clubroom. my friend was the third girl from the group above and instead of fighting with me, we ended up bonding over a mutual hatred for the other girl. so when he chose me, my friend was fine with it but she wasn’t ok. She loved him from before i had even met him and so she had a breakdown in the middle of the club and it was my fault. but this girl over here went and told everyone. she told them that i was talking shit about my friend and that i rubbed it in her face and all these other things and this time they all believed her. I tried to go talk to my friend and calm her down but this girl had some other club members block the doors and talk shit if i even walked past. she isolated my friend so instead of feeling better she felt like no one even cared enough to go check on her. she thought that i didn’t care about her enough to go see if she was ok or if she wanted me to walk her home or anything. She was in that room all alone thinking none of us cared because this girl was more concerned with making people hate me than trying to make sure my friend knew how loved she is.

these weren’t the only things that happened, they are just the things that stick out the most and that still fuck with me even though im 22 years old. I still think about these things constantly. I think about how i felt so powerless and so hated and i was still i child when i started wanting to kill myself. So when i see things on this website about how all girls are perfect and they can never do anything wrong and blah blah blah i get really annoyed. because girls can be really mean and really hateful and they can hurt people and you can’t excuse that just because they are girls.