#AKA THIS IS WHAT FANFIC IS FOR AMIRITE GUYS?

[monstersinthecosmos]

MAYBE I’M PROJECTING but Louis’s empathy is really important to me and I don’t think it’s completely fair when we assume he has no agency.

Because I spent most of my twenties in an abusive relationship, and I really do feel that I had the power to walk several times and that I didn’t. Or I did walk, and came back. It was out of empathy. It was because I feared for his safety and there were years where I felt okay sacrificing my own well being for the sake of his, because I worried about him. I was aware that he was manipulating me, I could see through what he was doing, but I walked into it willingly because I kept hoping he’d get better. And these years can be characterized by me waiting and hoping that he would change, but he never did.

Even today, safely away from him, it scares the shit out of me that if he came to me and said the right thing that I’d give him another chance. It took me a really long time to truly accept that it wasn’t going to get better, and even when it really ended and I really got away, I still mourned my idea of what we could’ve had, and mourned his potential. It’s been almost three years and it still gets to me sometimes. I really loved him and wanted what was best for him and had to accept that he wasn’t going to try.

And in his own way, I know that he loved me, too. But just loving someone isn’t enough. We all have our fucked up version of love, and we all have our ~love languages~, and part of respecting your partner is to learn how to communicate on their level. My abuser, like Lestat, was a shows-love-with-material type. Louis and I are not. And you’d think that after how many years these people would learn to respect us enough to try to communicate on our levels. 

It hurts, deeply, when you go out of your way to take care of someone and communicate on their level and they just never reciprocate. They don’t even try. And yknow, again, I could be projecting! I could be reading Lestat unfavorably. It could be sloppy writing and I’ll give it that we haven’t really seen these two intimately to really get an answer, but the way he reads on the surface just gives me so many red flags. Louis drops what he’s doing to help Lestat, he’s there at Lestat’s beck & call. What does Lestat do but shower him with clothes that he doesn’t even want?

Of course, writing that all out makes me feel inherently suspicious of myself and my own bullshit. Like, this sounds an awful lot like a thing someone would say to be defensive. Maybe I didn’t have agency and maybe it’s something I just tell myself to feel better. Maybe it wasn’t strength and maybe I’ll always be struggling to convince myself I wasn’t powerless. It’s natural to look for versions of ourselves in things we consume. We want to hold tight to them to feel less alone. I know in this fandom a lot of people relate to Louis deeply for a multitude of reasons. This is one of mine. It’s disappointing to see this stuff in front of my face and not having it truly acknowledged. It’s either the hard work he’s putting in, his strength, his patience, his empathy--or it’s a miserable dude who doesn’t respect himself enough to walk away. I could never figure out which one I was, either. 

There’s a version of Lestat & Louis as a couple that I could really get behind, the way there was a version of me and my ex that I was pulling for. It’s the version where Louis can challenge him without enabling him and where Lestat learns to respect him enough to make the effort to change. And I have juuuust enough wiggle room in text to pretend maybe it happens off screen. But it’s precarious at best, something Anne could shatter with the right chapter, because if there’s one thing she’s good at it, it’s glossing over trauma.

Louis is not a stupid person and his empathy doesn’t make him weak. He isn’t buying into Lestat’s shit on a level where Lestat is in control—I’m positive that he sees through it. But he stays because he loves Lestat and wants him to be better. He’ll sacrifice his own happiness if it means he can help Lestat get there, because he feels the burden of being the only person who can do it.

But it sucks that, book after book, Lestat isn’t changing. He’s still waltzing in and out of Louis’s life as he pleases, still showering him with material instead of finding more meaningful ways to communicate.

There’s a romantic part of me that’s rooting for them and that applauds Louis for sticking it out, and I want to see them work through it. I want to see Lestat grow and try and find ways to love that are selfless. 

But as a person who has been through this, it grinds my fuckin gears, okay? I don’t want to see Louis sitting back and waiting for it to get better. I want to see him accept that Lestat can’t change, and I want to see him stand up for himself, look out for his own needs, be with people who respect him. I don’t want to watch him wait and wait and wait only to be disappointed and hurt. Because I remember how much it fucking hurt. 

He’s making the choice to stay, and his patience and empathy are traits that make him strong, but goddamn I wish it would pay off already. :(

[omgficrecsplease]

omgcp fanfic starter pack!

hi y’all! we here at omgficrecsplease have put together a quick, little check please! fanfic starter pack! all fics are sorted by pairings and we hope you enjoy! and be sure to check out all the recs we have posted here! have a wonderful day y’all! :D

Jack/Bitty

A Little Bit Closer by marswithghosts

E | 107,963 | Summary: Eric Bittle's To-Do List:

1.) Frame Masters in Library and Information Science diploma and send to Mama, because she never understood the lack of sleep and abuse of caffeine, but she sent cookbooks and money for good chocolate, bless her. 2.) Throw away every last highlighted article, graded paper, and syllabus, because they are no longer needed, thank the sweet Lord. 3.) Promote the library's new periodic reading series, because it wasn't the capstone project for nothing. 4.) Harass Boston Bruins star Jack Zimmermann into taking a picture for @BPLWestEnd to promote the reading of his new children's book, Jacky's Bad Days. 5.) Do not ogle Boston Bruins star Jack Zimmermann's ass. 6.) Fail step five. Repeatedly.

Ice Crew Please! by rosepetals42  

T | 61,433 | Summary: Jack Zimmermann was drafted first by the Providence Falconers when he was eighteen years old. He is good at hockey. Very good. His team won the Cup his second year and now, in his third year, they are looking good. Jack should be on top of the world. And some days, he manages to convince himself he is.He’s not, of course.

Enter the Ice Crew.

AKA: The Ice Crew AU

maybe i'm waking up by idrilka

M | 157,904 | Summary: It’s almost funny. All he ever wanted was to play hockey, to play in the NHL, to win the Cup. This—Samwell, the team, the Haus—was supposed to be just a detour, but now it feels more like a destination he failed to realize he’s already reached.

(Or: Jack signs with the Falconers, graduates, and leaves. It's the hardest thing he's ever done. What comes after is even harder.)

self reflection by sinspiration

T | 29,218 | Summary: Bitty is in Annie’s, bent over his textbooks and wondering, not for the first time, why he decided to take French as a language (oh yes, it’s because so many old recipes are written in French, he’s going abroad there to study food history, can’t wait for the summer; half of fall and then winter semester until he goes, but that doesn’t help him now does it), when he hears someone clear their throat. “Excuse me, is this seat taken?” Oh boy. Eric doesn’t even bother lifting up his head. “Sorry, not a girl and not interested.”

Something Like This by emmagrant01

E | 285,748 | Summary: Jack thought his first year in the NHL would be 100% about hockey, but the reality is so much more complicated. (AU where the Goodbye for the Summer comics didn’t happen, because I had already written 80K words of this. But just because it’s canon doesn’t mean we can’t still enjoy long, angsty, get-together stories, amirite?)

Alternate summary, courtesy of Dracavia: What if Bad Bob didn't say anything at graduation?

Nursey/Dex

a service i can render by miastree

T | 73,484 | Summary: (11:48) Hey Bits are you free on Saturday? I want to go and see a movie or something (12:09) damn right im free (12:09) this is america

Dex wonders if the person that keeps ceaselessly texting him at all hours is at all interested in legitimate conversation or if his life is, genuinely, that boring. He keeps replying anyway, because for some reason, the appeal of a clumsy, nosy, ex-hockey-playing ballet dancer that types in all lower case happens to be greater than he first thought.

Standing right outside my door by eleanor_lavish 

M | 5,594 | Summary: “I’ve been doing holidays alone for years, bro. I mean, I spent more holidays at Andover than in New York.”

Dex’s fingers tighten on the steering wheel. He kind of really hates Nursey’s parents right now, even though he’s never met them. He wants to yell at Nursey about this ridiculous chill he has going on, about how it’s fucked up, ask how he’s not just pissed off all the fucking time, but he looks over and Nursey’s eyes are still closed, and he’s curled in on himself in the seat. “Yeah, well. Not this year,” he says firmly.

I Know I Am, But What Are You? by sysrae

E | 19,322 | Summary:  “I need you,” says Dex, “to be my fake date at my family Christmas. Please.”

“Cool,” says Nursey, mouth operating on Chill Autopilot while his higher brain functions come to a screeching halt. “I can do that.”

Bitty/Jack/Kent

touchy subject by applecrumbledore 

E | 49,578 | Summary: Bitty finds a photo booth strip and almost doesn't recognize Jack because he's not sure he's ever seen him grin off-ice before, and his hair is so long it curls around his ears, and he's so, so young. It takes Bitty a few long seconds to realize the boy he's kissing is Kent Parson, with the same backwards cap and everything.

I Watched It Begin Again by jacksbits (fragilehuge)

E | 19,979 | Summary: Kent hits on a stranger at a party. Except the party is at Jack’s house and the stranger is Bitty. It’s not Kent’s smoothest move.

Infinity, Plus One by SummerFrost

E | 75,577 | Summary:  Eric Bittle hoped to find a lot of things at Samwell University, but being caught in the cross-fire between his surly captain, Jack Zimmermann, and his friendly-but-moody alternate captain, Kent Parson, was certainly not one of them.

Ransom/Holster

Five Things Adam Birkholtz Learns in HDFS 332: Healthy Couple Relationships by EllyAvon

T | 6,079 | Summary: HDFS 332: Healthy Couple Relationships is just the night class Holster is taking with Lardo to fulfill one of his core requirements. He doesn't expect it to drastically change his life.

OR: The Weirdest Healthy Relationships PSA Ever.

OR: Wholesome Holsom

In a Different Frame by sunfair

E | 4,853 | Summary: Holster is determined to become somebody's boyfriend. Too bad he's kind of an idiot. He figures it out, though.

someone as good for me as you by astrolesbian

T | 7,056 | Summary: “So tell me,” Justin’s mother says, all business, “is your boy going to propose?”

“What, Jack?” Justin says, and doesn’t really think much of it, because his mother eats up the details of Jack and Bitty and JackandBitty like Holster eats up rom-coms.

His mother sighs, and he can practically hear her rolling her eyes. “No, baby, I meant Adam.”

Shitty/Lardo

Exeunt, Pursued By Heteronormativity by psocoptera

M | 35,786 | Summary: Shitty Knight takes a post-graduation road trip. Four friends, six thousand miles, two tents, several embarrassing photos, a giant rabbit, three cops, and a bear.

Jack/Kent

It's a Good Life If You Don't Weaken by garden of succulents (staranise)

E |  33,373 | Summary: Making it through the draft is just the beginning.

Kent and Jack are on different teams at opposite ends of the continent. They're living up to huge expectations. They're not supposed to show pain. And not everything they do to get by is precisely healthy.

Fortunately, they're not totally alone.

right on time by leetlebird

T | 49,428 | Summary: Eric Bittle doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to dating, but even he’s embarrassed for himself when he starts flirting on Tinder with a guy who has a weird cat obsession, abs so perfect they border on trashy, and DL in his profile.

Eric Bittle also hates the office finance guy, Kent Parson, more than is probably healthy to hate one of your coworkers.

These two things are in no way related.

Or, the You’ve Got Mail AU that had to be written.

didn't ask for you by Mizzy

M | 24,702 | Summary: Kent Parson has well over ninety-nine problems. He has a chronic potty mouth, a sneaking suspicion he may be an actual idiot, a narcissistically-named cat with gas issues, too many sisters... the list goes on.

Kent Parson has more than ninety-nine problems and Jack Zimmermann — freshly, resentfully and recently traded to the Las Vegas Aces — is definitely one of them.

Gen

Chime Hours by MarquisdeHockey (SpacePunkStevie) (note: it’s tagged for ships but it’s firmly gen)

M | 54,811 | Summary: Back in Montreal, not long before the draft, Jack had died. But only for a bit.

The witch he'd met there had very kindly saved his life, so he was inclined to forgive him any small oversight. For instance, the lack of instruction manual or, perhaps, the fact that he'd neglected to mention Jack's new psychic powers.

So he kept his head down. Played hockey. Tried to navigate old friends and new teammates. And, occasionally, he'd have to go and stop a death he'd seen coming like he was some sort of conscientious banshee. What he absolutely didn't want to do was to solve any mysteries or delve any deeper into the whole magic... thing.

Series

Best Laid Plans by Euphorion

E | 18,596 | Summary: "Dude," said Holster, his eyes huge, "that's so sad. We gotta get them together."

"This isn't a romcom, Holtzy," Ransom said, patting his arm. "I'm sure that's not what Shitty had in mind."

"Actually," said Shitty, "that's exactly what I had in mind. And I've got a plan."

[thecloserkin]

book review: K Webster, Hale (2018)

Genre: Romance

Is it the main pairing: Yes

Is it canon: Yes

Is it explicit: Yes, extremely explicit. In fact if this had been published on literotica i would have accounted it a well-above-average story.

Is it endgame: Yes

Is it shippable: Yes

Bottom line: This is the most vanilla thing I have read in a LONG time and if i hadn’t paid $3.99 for it i doubt I would have bothered to finish it

I picked up this title because shipcestuous added it to her to-read shelf on goodreads, and while it’s clear from the editorial copy (“This book is an epic, emotional, raw love story”) that they think something groundbreaking is going on here, I would like to direct these amateurs to the Sibling Incest tag on Ao3. Or the Incest Shipping Yay page on TVtropes. Or Astrid’s now-defunct blog, if tumblr ever sees fit to restore it. Trust me, you do not have to be doing anything experimental or original for me to enjoy your tropetastic incest story. You don’t even have to be good with words. Stephenie Meyer, for instance, is not what anybody would call a first-rate stylist, and yet I’ve never had any trouble finishing any of her books (none of which feature incest, but the point was about writing generally).

Hudson and Rylie Hale lose their parents in a tragic car accident. Their shared grief is the catalyst for the affair that blooms between them, and I will give them this much: these kids at least know better than to leave any incriminating texts or pictures lying around on their phones. Their vigilance in the digital realm is then completely nullified by the way they conduct themselves irl—they’re walked in on by (1) their aunt aka Rylie’s guardian and (2) Hudson’s roommate at college, all within a week of getting together. I know the risk of being caught is part of the allure of incestuous relationships, but these clowns need to learn to keep it in their pants at least until they can find a closet.

In my opinion this story would have benefitted from an Outsider POV or two. Not every story needs one—Cathy Dollanganger’s first-person POV is more than adequate to carry Flowers in the Attic, and speaking of authors who are shoddy stylists, look at how bad V.C. Andrews was, and how little it mattered—but there’s not enough substance to either Hudson or Rylie’s characters for their alternating POVs to keep the reader invested. In brief, Rylie’s clinically depressed, and Hudson’s attending college on a baseball scholarship. There’s a scene where they watch a movie together and end up fucking on the couch, which would usually be my jam (standard sibling interaction leads to white-hot sex), except I was boooooored. There’s a scene where she visits him at school and they go skinny-dipping in a lake with some of his friends, and they both have to fight off the attentions of prospective romantic partners, and it ends with him carrying her to his truck and fucking her in the back off it. Which again in theory sounds amazing. In practice I think the jealousy trope works better if you’re threatened by your partner’s emotional intimacy with somebody else. And what is Rylie worried about? That this girl has porn star tits, where Rylie is much more modestly endowed. Ok you know who else has small tits? Natalie Portman. Keira Knightley. Emma Watson. Physically unprepossessing women the whole lot of them, amirite? Rylie is overcome by the same unwarranted insecurity when it comes to Hudson’s on-again-off-again ex-girlfriend, who is described as having humongous knockers. I understand how this can make Rylie feel inadequate—women are taught to hate their bodies from day one—but this chick also clearly has nothing going on upstairs, and her emotional connection with Hudson is nowhere in Rylie’s league. So Rylie’s jealousy strikes me as unearned and unrealistic.

Hudson and Rylie spend a good chunk of this book struggling against their feelings, berating themselves for being sick and twisted, all of which would normally be my kryptonite since i am on record gushing about the taboo/forbidden angle of incest and how I’m into sneaking around!! And none of it did damn thing for me in this case. The more reviews I read that contain the word “raw” the more I start to wonder if we all read the same book.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

As far as canon incest happy ending goes, the “run away together to where nobody knows you guys” strategy has its drawbacks, namely that it means leaving loved ones behind. I have discussed my preference for Option B before, but that option isn’t on the table for Hudson and Rylie because THEY GOT THEMSELVES CAUGHT IN THE ACT and exposed their relationship to multiple people so they can’t plausibly carry on denying it. Especially when Rylie starts popping out kids. Look, I’m into pregnancy kink as much as the next person but it just seems unearned. As is the fact that Hudson found a good-paying steady job even without the college degree their parents worked so hard to push him to get (he was kicked off the baseball team + lost his scholarship due to a combination of grieving for parents & obsessive infatuation for sister). This is America, where good jobs don’t just fall into high school graduates’ laps (unless you have family connections, which the Hale kids don’t, bc they had to move a thousand miles away to live amongst strangers!). And I can’t write these lapses off to the influence of the genre because I know there can be coherent class discourse in a romance novel.

A professor of mine once gave me a copy of Reading the Romance: Women, Patriarchy and Popular Literature (1984) by Janice Radway, and it remains to this day one of the most transformative nonfiction reading experiences of my entire life. Janice Radway conducts interviews with dozens of mostly-married, mostly-middle-aged women in a midsize midwestern American city, and finds that for them reading romance novels is a form of self-care. They spend the rest of their time supporting and nurturing their families & extended social networks, but with a Harlequin romance in hand, husbands are much less likely to bother them. They can carve out time and space for themselves, they can draw from these escapist fantasies the emotional sustenance that their marriages/children are not providing. They can form friendships with like-minded women who also read a lot of romance. It resonated deeply with me even if I’m not a middle-aged white homemaker in middle America in 1984, because ever since, I’ve been very clear-eyed about why I read romance: To meet my own emotional needs that are for some reason not being met by my existing meatspace relationships. That, to me, is the point of the romance genre, and to hell with character and plot. And that’s why I say Hale let me down, because it didn’t succeed in making me feel anything.

There’s a post floating around that contrasts the way we categorize published fiction (by genre, ie. what happens—wizards or starships? corsets or lawyers?) with fanfiction, which is organized based on how it makes us feel: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, etc. And fic has never let me down in that department, so I guess that’s why romance and fanfic fall under the same mental classification in my head. In this essay I will

[hawthornandvxne]

FRICK im always 10 yrs late to these things forgive

tagged by the fabulous @colubrina

rules: answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you’d like to get to know better!

nicknames: alyss, occasionally. literally nobody gives me nicknames man

star sign: leo

height: 5'3ish

time right now: 10:11 am

last thing I googled: 'frivolity synonym’ freaking 90% of my searches are me being too lazy to grab a thesaurus i ha te

fave music artist: like just one?? one??? ONE?? no clue

song stuck in my head: i ran cover by hidden citizens

last movie i watched: nanny mcphee

last tv show i watched: agents of s.h.i.e.l.d.

what i’m wearing now: leggings and a sweatshirt

when i created this blog: hell if i know!! edit: i looked it up. it was june 2015 i’m so much more of a young un’ than i recall??

the kind of stuff i post: hp/fantastic beasts, with a smattering of the lovely faces behind some lovely blogs and also sometimes my personal garbage

do i have other blogs: ye, my primary is @grvngersmalfoy (go follow my trash dump guys)

do i get asks regularly: not anymore which is my fault for being Inactive Crap

why did i choose my url: this was originally a dramione blog and is still v v dramione friendly so (in case you don’t know, hawthorn = draco’s wand type, vine = hermione’s, both = a magnificent dramione fanfic site aka dramione.org)

gender: female

hogwarts house: gryffindor ALL the way

pokemon team: never played pokemon of any kind oops

fave colours: purple and black. kinda green, if it’s a soft green.

average hours of sleep: like 7

lucky number: idk

favourite characters: R U READY GUYS okay i’ll try to keep it to less than 5 pages so hermione granger, draco malfoy, remus lupin, rey, kylo ren, fitzwilliam darcy, kaz brekker, inej ghafa, katniss everdeen, jane eyre, zuko, katara, jo march, anne shirley. yeah i... think i’ll stop there.

dream job: famous novelist ahh!! unrealistic goals amirite!!

number of blankets i sleep with: 2 in winter, 1 in summer

following: 635

and imma tag @dramione-vincet-semper (10 yrs later yeah!! why don’t we ever talk!!), @weasleyey, @hexrmionegranger (both also after 10 yrs of being mutuals why am i like this), @agenthobbit-in-hufflepuff, @pureblud, @regulusblxcks, @ladyleanam, @bookishandbossy, @essthedreamer, @malfoybellamy, @ginnxweasley, @alrightevans, @ginnywheezy, @airenmurasaki (you have no idea how long it took me to think of ur FRICKIN USERNAME GOSH i was just like ‘who did the cool dramione art WHO DID IT), @jamespctterr, @deadmalfoys, @professorlockhart, @malfxoys, @wlweasley, and @nxrcissamxlfoy