#AIUSNLJRKFN. i love them

[cecilia-stars]

god this scene was so symbolic in the books. poetic, really. like chuuya's angel wings disappearing and him falling from the sky?? and then dazai catching him and basically taking away his pain? like that's a roundabout way of saying “did it hurt when you fell from heaven” but more accurately it's like. you were hurting. you fell from heaven and i caught you

but it's even more than that. it's dazai, the so-called demon, who always felt separate from others, catching chuuya, the boy who was told he wasn't human at all despite his raging humanity. it's dazai's smile at chuuya, his relief that all had gone well, looking as far as he possibly could from the demon everyone says he must be. it's chuuya, corruption gone, nullified by the only person who could, realizing it really didn't matter at all if he was "truly" human or not if he felt and fought and lived like one, safe in dazai's arms. it's like they were saving each other in a way, like only together could they be truly human and truly themselves.

it's chuuya, jumping to save his loved ones and protect everyone without a second thought, despite his struggles over his own humanity, despite knowing he'd never know if he made the jump. he realized it wasn't what really mattered to him.

it's dazai, entranced by guivre, in how easily it wiped out everyone in its path, enacting mass death just like that, realizing this could be the moment he'd been waiting for his whole life. a painless death, neat and clean; in a second he'd just be gone. and it's dazai, turning away, defeating verlaine to save chuuya; if he was gone then chuuya would have no chance of surviving, and he couldn't bear the thought.

everyone around dazai distrusted him, made him out to be "other". they were astonished by his capabilities, suspicious of his motivations, distrustful of what he stood to gain. yet the entire time, dazai's true motivations were the farthest they could be for a supposed demon; every plan he made, every action he took, it was all for chuuya. he cared about him in a way that no one would think possible from him. he only started fighting verlaine to help ensure chuuya's humanity, and he was ready to give it all up for the same. and when he helped defeat verlaine, it was to make sure chuuya would survive, even disregarding his own lifelong wish for it. and to chuuya, everyone overcomplicated dazai. he was sometimes a nuisance, always his partner, and often much too intelligent for his own good, but never the demon he was said to be.

and when everyone doubted chuuya's humanity, to dazai it was laughable. chuuya was the most human human dazai had ever known. he was so painfully human, in every word he spoke and every single thing he did, burning with passion and caring so much, caring too much. if chuuya of all people wasn't human, then who was?

they were so similar and yet so different, dazai and chuuya. on the surface, they clashed more than anyone, their personalities and tastes worlds apart. yet only they could see each other for who they really were, trusted each other to lengths unimaginable, understood each other in a way no one else did. they would do anything for the other without a second thought, and believed in each other when no one else did. partners, in every sense of the word.

I've recently read Stormbringer and it's done things to me. I also Really wanna see it animated