#AHH he’s fantastic bro

[callmecams26]

SAY IT AFTER ME:

DANI PEDROSA P5 DANI PEDROSA P5 DANI PEDROSA P5

[huffle-dork]

Swap into the CrystalVerse Chapter 21: Horror Septics

Co-written with @crystalninjaphoenix 

Read Swapboys | Read Horror Septics | AO3 Link

Prologue | Switch | Stitched | PNPT | Septicheroes | Fantasy Masks | Horror

Taglist: @brokentimewatch @di-diwata  

The power Magnificent took from the forest allows him to teleport vast distances. In his rush to get away from there, he ends up in a town on the edge of some body of water. A sea coast, judging by the smell. And it only took a handful of teleports. There's a strange mist that seems to hover around his feet at all times now. Like he's carrying around a fog machine.

Magnificent stumbles across the street, holding his arms and looking around. The power feels- strange in his system. But… very powerful. He thought he’d be drained trying to do go far but.., he’s fine. That’s incredible. Could he just- escape that thing’s watch and run? Find other things to crush? He… had to find this worlds version of him… right? Why did it feel like… he already did? The fog is new and unsettling but- it could be worse. He keeps an eye out- looking for anything in a red hoodie.

There are some people on the street, going about their own business. They don't notice the mist--or if they do, they don't stare. They do look at Magnificent's face and outfit. Clearly, this isn't a normal appearance for this world. But it must not raise too many questions, because, again, no stares.

Except for one.

A man, younger than Mag is, with sandy blonde hair and a lot of freckles. He's standing beneath a shop's awning and not even bothering to hide his stare.

Magnificent feels the stare on him and locks eyes with the young man, stilling in his walk. He narrows his eyes and tilts his head like a cat, his eyes catching light unnaturally.

The man stares back for a moment. Then he glances to either side and gestures for Magnificent to come closer.

Magnificent checks around too and then he teleports over. He just stares down at the man and raises an eyebrow. "... You're staring an awful lot, aren't you?"

The man gasps as he teleports and staggers backwards. "S-sorry, I dinnae mean to pry, I jus--" He straightens. "Did ye come from Faoirise Hollow? Did ye... talk to it?"

Magnificent narrows his eyes, "... is that the name of the forest back some ways? With the... mist?" He purses his lips and then nods, "... if you're referring to what I'm thinking of then... yes. What of it?"

The man goes pale. "Oh. Oh no, did--did ye agree to anyt'ing? Did ye say yes?"

“What does it matter to you?” Mag spits.

"T'at's not a no." The man's eyes widen. "I-I'm sorry, ye can'--maybe if ye get far enough ye'll be able to escape--" And then he stops. And goes quiet.

“What,.. what do you mean?” Mag tries to hide the way his voice tries to shake.

"I'm sorry, I think I've mistaken you for someone else," the man says. "Were you going to go take the ferry? It leaves soon. You should hurry."

Why is it so quiet?

"What the hell are you talking about?" Mag presses, stepping forward, "Why- why do I need to escape?"

"Escape? No, I'm sorry, I think you're not who I was looking for," the man says, smiling. "I'm sorry to bother you." He turns and starts to head inside the store. The awning above shifts. It must have been sturdier than it looked, though, because it doesn't even creak.

Magnificent feels a chill go down his spine- why... why is it so quiet? "W-wait!"

The man does not wait. He goes into the building, the door slowly closing behind him.

Magnificent staggers back, eyes wide. Something's... something's not right here. He backs away more then- he tries to rush back down the street. He said something about escaping- before he started acting even more strange- maybe he should look for a way out!

As he runs, he notices something strange. There were pedestrians on the street, but not anymore. And his footsteps are not there. Even as his feet pound against the pavement, there is no sound.

Magnificent feels panic start to grip at his chest. He tries to run faster.

He keeps running and running until— Something stops him. Not a wall, not a magical forcefield. It gives a little before snapping back. As he stumbles away, he notices a cut on his face. And then he notices the near-invisible string hanging across the narrow street, side to side like some sort of spider web.

Some of his blood stains a strand red.

Magnificent shouts out as he hits the string and when he sees the blood on his hand he staggers back. “What… what is this?!” He yells out in anger and tries to burn the string with green fire.

The string burns easily. But it was never really meant to stop him. Only keep him busy for long enough. He is standing under a lamp post. The light goes out.

Magnificent yells and then whips around, holding a flame out and trying to sound threatening, "W-Who's there?!"

He’s looking in the wrong place. By the time he thinks to look up, it’s too late. Something brushes against his arm. When he finally does look up he can’t even see much, as it’s hiding behind the shattered lamp. There are spiral eyes that stare at him, and jointed wooden hands that reach for him, and then—

Freeze.

In the last two worlds, he found himself under someone else’s control. When JJ managed to put his strings on him, and when the King commanded him. And though that control was strong, maybe he would have struggled out of both of those trances if given enough time.

This is different. It is a crushing weight where the others were merely heavy. There is no way out of this.

Magnificent stiffens and he gasps as his body and mind are completely stolen by the entity pursuing him. He can't fight. He can't even scream.

His own voice speaks. “You weren’t supposed to see me. But you were getting off track. Did you not understand the request? That man was not wearing a red hood, why did you speak to him?” A pause. The thing on the street lamp shifts, joints twisting. “It is not on this island. This town has a ferry to the next. Check there. Do you understand?” Though he cannot use his voice, he somehow knows it will hear him if he tries to answer.

Magnificent wants to fight but he shudders as he hears his voice speak without his say-so. He can't- how could he have been so stupid?

He tries to tell the thing, "Y-Yes."

"Good," his voice says.

And much like when he was in the forest, he feels something loosen. Less like a tight grip, more like unzipping a tight jacket. He can move and talk and do whatever he wishes once again. But he can feel that sensation of control waiting. Resting against his skin.

Magnificent gasps again as the control is lifted, but he feels uneasy and cold. Like the puppeteer has only put down the control bar for a second. And he hates it. How was he supposed to know the thing he's hunting wasn't here? He growls and bares his teeth then stumbles forward to find the ferry. It's pretty clear what he's supposed to do now...

As he makes his way there, the strange man's words drift through his mind. What was it? "If you go far enough maybe you can escape"? Something like that...

Go far enough.... he needs to find his cub. They need to get out of this universe as soon as possible..

-----------

It's definitely night by the time Chase and his new companion make their way into the city, but the presence of street lights does a lot to make it bright in a way that Chase probably wouldn't have appreciated without the last universe. Right now the two of them are in a suburb area, but it can't be that far from somewhere more urban. Cars pass by on the road every minute or two. Jack looks uneasy, but he's not going to leave Chase behind.

Chase isn't looking much better- especially cuz they're walking. He feels like he's about to burst out of his skin, but he's trying to stay calm. Even though his instincts are trying to go crazy. Something is really really wrong here... and he's so worried about Alt. And even Mag-

"Do you know where your brother would go if he was on his own?" Jack asks quietly. "If not... public libraries always have free charging ports for phones. Sometimes they have cables, too. Or you could buy one if you have money. I don't."

"He'd... he'd be trying to find me," Bro admits, shrugging. "That's what he's done in every world before this..." He pats his utility belt and checks to see. "Um- I have money. Not a lot- and... man i should keep a cord in here-"

Jack laughs a little. "Sorry, that's not really that funny. I just--yeah, probably, you should carry one. Cords are pretty cheap, though. If we can find a petrol station or a convenience store they're probably selling them there." They walk for a little while more... and then a few drops of rain begin to fall from the sky.

Chase looks up at the sky and scowls, "Offff course- just our luck!"

Jack looks up as well and goes a bit pale. "Shiiiit. Okay, uh--maybe it'll stop soon, where can we--it's all fucking suburbs, of course it is. I need to get a tent somehow, for fuck's sake."

One of the houses nearby has a For Sale sign up. Jack looks at it and hesitates. Noticeably.

Chase blinks in confusion. "Hey like- rain sucks but... it's just rain. We gotta keep looking... If Alt has been alone then- one of those things might have him! I can't stop cuz of some rain..."

"Chase, I know, but--well, if you're from another universe and don't have that much money, I'm going to assume you don't have a place to stay?" Jack says tentatively. "So you don't have anywhere to... change clothes if they get wet and cold? Trust me when I say that wearing wet cold clothes is an easy way to get sick."

Chase hesitates and then looks at the rain, pulling his jacket closer around him. He hears his friends' voices in his head, reminding him to take care of himself. He can't help Alt if he's sick.

After another moment of hesitation, Jack hurries over to the house with the For Sale sign and starts trying the door.

Bro groans and then hurries after Jack, looking around for any sign of danger. Just in case...

Chase doesn't see anything of note. It's all pretty normal. But there is a car coming so they better hurry. Jack takes something out of his parka pocket--a swiss army knife. He unfolds a couple of the attachments and fumbles with the lock on the door until it clicks. "It's always easier than you think," he whispers, and pushes the door open.

"You know... probably not something I should know-I'm kinda a hero back home..." Chase mutters but- he can't let himself be alone right now. He follows closely after Jack.

"Oh that explains some things," Jack says as he steps into the living room. "I mean--you kinda have that personality, but also... Sangria likes fucking with people who are, uh 'good' the most. You know, like... moral. A 'hero' would be a perfect target."

"...bastard-" Chase mumbles as they head inside.

The house is unfurnished, lines in the carpet like it's been vacuumed or cleaned recently. There's the living room, the kitchen, the dining room, the bathroom, and stairs leading up. The kitchen actually has a fridge in addition to the installed counters and cabinets. Maybe it's also built into the room.

Chase looks around and double checks some of the rooms. After he does he finds a wall and then settles against it, sighing and resting his arms on his knees.

Jack looks at him. He sits down across the room so they are facing each other. "This is a dumb question, but... you okay?"

Chase grips at his arms and grits his teeth, "... I'm losing my mind- I... I feel so s-stupid sitting here! But i... I hate that I'm actually scared... to go out there alone. And also cuz you're right- I can't let myself get sick looking for Alt I just... I always had an inkling of where he'd be in the last couple worlds. Or like- we'd find each other kinda quickly. But now I... I don't know- and ... it feels dangerous... there were stakes before but like... nothing felt like this." He laughs quietly and pulls at his hair, "My instincts are going crazy- My like.... h-hero senses- they don't usually steer me wrong... and that means something r-really really bad could be happening to him...!"

"...oh." Jack goes quiet, thoughtfully. "I'm... sorry. I... it looks like it's just a drizzle out there, maybe it won't last that long." He pauses. "It... sucks, yeah. I know. I don't... really know what to say, hah."

There's nothing he can say, really. Chase knows he's wasting time here. But even if he wasn't, could he really protect Alt against anything like this? He wasn't even able to protect him when Magnificent dragged him off in the first place. If he could do that, they wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. He's not really a good brother.

It's hard to breathe.

Chase feels tears coming into his eyes and he slaps a hand over his mouth as it suddenly feels hard to breathe- what- what was happening? Where were all these thoughts coming from?

"Oh shit. I-I wasn't that bad at comforting you, was I?" Jack sits up straight. Then, as he looks at Chase, his brows furrow. "Did something happen? Chase, do you feel alright?"

The thoughts are coming from his own head, of course. They're just louder now. But does it matter where they're coming from at all? Does it matter when they're true?

Chase is shaking, trying not to panic but his chest is so tight. "S-Something's... s-s-something's wrong...!" He gasps quietly. Yes he gets thoughts like this- all the time actually. But... not so loud. Not so harsh- not lately. He had been doing better...!

Jack scrambles to his feet and starts to hurry over, but stops halfway across the room. "Chase, behind you!"

Behind him? Behind him is just a wall.

Right?

Chase believes Jack more than his thoughts right now- He turns around.

A pair of hands grab his head, preventing it from turning entirely. One covers his mouth, while the other grabs his hair right above where--oh, that's not a good spot, is it?

Chase screams and tries to thrash his way out- until he feels the hand next to his scar.

Chase can see something gray out of the corner of his eyes, and his imagination can fill in the details of a face.

He freezes- Why... why does this remind him so much of Distorter?

"Hey!" Jack breaks into a run, lunging at the wall. Suddenly, the hands disappear. Jack slams against the plaster and looks down at Chase, visible eye so wide he can see the whites around the iris. "Okay. New plan. We get the fuck out of this house and risk hypothermia."

As the hands disappear Chase gasps for breath and pulls himself back up. He grabs Jack's arm and runs for the door. "A-Agreed!"

The door is locked.

Chase fumbles with the handle, "FUCK!" He then lets go of Jack and tries to ram himself against the door.

"It’s locked?! Shit!" Jack looks at the nearby windows and go for that while Chase tries the door. The latter rattles in its hinges, but even the strength of Bro Fantastic can't break it down--even though it should.

The windows are locked too. Jack tries using the handle of his swiss army knife as a pike of some sort to break the glass but it doesn't work. "Is there anything in here we could use?!"

"Bro I literally have super strength! S-Something is wrong here- I....!" Chase is trying so hard not to panic, now trying to kick at the door in desperation.

"You do?! Wait, when you said hero you meant like--"

"Yeah dude I'm a super hero!"

Jack shakes his head. "Okay, this isn't the time. There's always a way out. There's always a way out!" He grabs Chase and pulls him away from his (fruitless) efforts. "Maybe somewhere else in the house!"

Bro runs after Jack. He'd fly to find an exit but flying inside is generally not a good idea! He learned that back at the Stitched guys' apartment! He nods though and runs ahead, trying to look for an exit.

There are various windows throughout the house, but they're all locked and made of strangely sturdy glass. The upper floor of the house--with three empty rooms and a closet--is the same.

"There's always a way out, there's always a way out, there's always a way out," Jack keeps repeating, sounding more frantic with each repetition. "There's always a way out, there's always--is that blood?!"

There's a trapdoor in the ceiling of the upstairs hallway. A red liquid is dripping from around its seams. It's not blood. The smell is wrong... sharp. Intoxicating.

Chase skids to a stop in front of the trapdoor, holding a hand out to stop Jack. His eyes widen as he smells it. "... is that... w-whiskey?"

Jack stops to smell it as well. "Oh fuck, yeah, something like it." He covers his nose. "That's a really strong smell. The question is, do we go up there or avoid it as much as fucking possible? Going up there, bad for obvious reasons, but sometimes when you ignore this stuff it just gets worse to get your attention."

Bro pulls his jacket over his nose. God this... smells too familiar. Like one of his really bad nights. It makes him feel sick. "I-It's an attic though- there wouldn't be a way out there, right?"

"You never know..." Jack mutters.

"...if you think it'll get worse if we ignore it then... f-fuck it I guess." He really doesn't want to but- he braces himself then tries to open the trapdoor.

A splash of liquid pours out from the trapdoor as he opens it, followed soon by a fold-down ladder. The attic is dark. It sounds like... like someone is crying up there.

"... I really don't like that-" Chase whispers.

Jack nods slowly, thoughtfully. "I think... I have an idea," he says slowly. "It disappeared when I went for it. It could've just stayed there but it disappeared. Maybe... confrontation is good in this case." He grabs a rung of the ladder. "I know you're a hero so you're probably going to come up with me, but... I want you to know you don't have to."

Chase looks conflicted but he shakes his head. "I can't let you face whatever this is alone... that'd make me a really shitty hero." He tries to laugh, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "... I'll be right behind you."

"Yeah, I figured you'd say that." Jack smiles gratefully. "...thank you." And he climbs on up, Chase right behind him.

The attic is pitch black and dusty. Parts of the floor are exposed insulation. On the ground are crinkly pieces of old papers. Jack picks one up and looks at it in the faint light coming from the open trapdoor. It's some sort of crude drawing. Done by a child? The crying is louder farther in.

Chase picks up one too and looks at it, "...why... why are these here...?" He whispers. He then swallows and shakily starts to go towards the crying.

"Who knows?" Jack mutters, and follows Chase into the darkness.

The sound gets louder as they get closer. Louder. Louder. Someone is sobbing their eyes out. Until, abruptly, they aren't.

Suddenly, Chase feels a presence behind him right before it grabs him--one hand on his shoulder, another on that same spot on his head. All at once memories come slamming into him, one after another, a highlight reel of the worst moments of his life, of his biggest mistakes and failures.

Chase freezes as he's grabbed in that same spot again and gasps as the memories flood. Tears fall rapidly down his face as he tries to shake all the memories off. Alt getting kidnapped- all the mistakes he made as a hero, driving Alt away to become Impulse- all the the people he endangered by being a hero..!

Isn't it terrible, Chase? Isn't it all so awful? Wouldn't it be easier if nobody had to deal with you?

It's almost too much-

No! No, it wouldn't!

But, then he feels that surge- that want to be better. To do better. His promise to never leave his brother alone again. His friends he'd always keep fighting for.

Chase pushes beyond the sudden memories and claws his way back to the current moment, to the fact that there is something solid behind him, with hands and a face, a strange combined smell of alcohol and old, dusty places coming from right behind him.

Isn't he a hero?!

He is!

He's a hero, god damn it! And he will not be pushed around!

He feels the solid force behind him and yells in determination, swiftly turning on his heel to try to deliver a punch right into the entity's face.

As he spins, he catches a glance of a gray face, streaked with dark tears--and then it's immediately blocked by his fist. Contact is made for a split second before the thing disappears into thin air, leaving him a bit off balance.

"Holy shit!" Jack gasps, and then laughs. "That was the most badass thing I've seen in a while! Amazing, Chase!"

Chase stumbles back, still holding out his fists like he'll need to keep punching. He then laughs and wipes at his face, "T-Thanks-! That was... that fucking sucked-!" He laughs a little more unhinged, his emotions pretty much everywhere.

"Yeah... looked like it." Jack's eye flashes with sympathy. "But at least you pulled it off."

The house shakes slightly. Not... a lot. But... worryingly so. Chase can hear whispers on the edge of his hearing, somewhere in between reality and his mind.

"For fuck's sake!" Even though it won't do anything, Jack pulls out the swiss army knife and flips open the blade. "Listen you little shit. I did not last nine months in a technological hellscape for you to kill me in a house! This guy's not even from here! So fucking let us go!" And the shaking and whispers stop. Jack blinks. "If I knew I could threaten it I would've tried that earlier..."

"... how the fuck did that work??" Chase whispers as he presses up close to Jack. Then, he shakes his head and grabs his hand to look around more- there had to be an exit still right. "F-Fuck it- let's go before it decides to try again!"

Wait--how did they not notice it before? There's a small round window in the far wall! Inspecting it reveals a latch; the whole thing swings outward into the rain.

Chase brightens up as he sees the window and pushes it open. He then quickly apologizes, "Sorry if this is weird!" And then picks up Jack in his arms before flying out into the rain.

"Whoa!" Jack is surprised--because of course he is, people don't fly here! He clings to Chase for security as they jump out. "O-okay then! Be careful!"

Outside it is indeed a drizzle, making the night darker. But the street lamps and light from windows is just enough for Chase to see.

Chase is quick to get them back down to the ground and then he sets Jack down gently. He grins at him and laughs, "Told ya I was a super hero~!"

"You did! Can't say I wasn't warned." Jack laughs. He takes a few steps, making sure that he's on solid ground, and holds tight to the strap of his duffel bag. "You know I used to be afraid of heights... but not anymore."

There's so much more to be scared of.

"A-anyway. We gotta get somewhere out of the rain. Ideally, somewhere public. There has to be some sort of petrol station nearby or something."

"Yeah right- we can try there... If you don't mind- I can get us there a little faster. But, I know its not the best feeling either," Chase laughs, rubbing the back of his head.

“No, no, i-it’s fine, I’m sure you know what you’re doing.” Jack grins, a bit nervous. Just be careful not to be seen, okay?”

"Yeah of course! I'll be quick- plus it's dark so we're less likely to be seen!" Chase scoops Jack back up and then shoots back into the air, quickly looking for a safer shelter from the rain.

It’s not long until they find a small area with a couple shops, some restaurants, and a gas station, all lit up with colored signs and white lights through the windows.

Chase tries to find a shadowed area and then lands him and Jack there, making sure the other man is set down gently again. He shakes the rain off and he sighs, "Okay- we got some options now! Still wanna do Petrol or- i think think there's food around here... we could get something warm to wait out the rest of the rain..."

"...food would be nice," Jack says hopefully. "But we should get you a charging cord first. So you can... do that while we eat."

"oh yeah! let's hop in and grab one!" Chase laughs and then heads towards the Petrol station.

Jack grins, a bit nervously, and follows Chase to the station. It's open, of course, and it does sell charging cords--as well as the plugs and portable batteries--for pretty cheap. They're probably not high quality but it doesn't need to be. Jack hovers near the doors while Chase takes care of buying those. He glances at the security camera hanging in the corner. These looks become more frequent the longer they're there but he doesn't say anything.

Chase remembers that Jack is trying to stay away from tech so he tries to be very fast- quickly grabbing the first cord he can find for his phone and paying for it right away. As soon as he has he hurries back to Jack and holds it up. "Got it! C'mon lets go get food!" He briefly glances at the security camera, just to check before leading Jack out.

"Great. Thanks." Jack smiles as the two of them leave.

There's nothing weird about the camera when Chase glances at it. But a bit after they leave, it swivels a bit, as if tracking them as they walk past the windows outside.

As for food, there a couple places. Nothing too nice, mostly various fast food places--but they are open and that's what matters. Chase can hear Jack's stomach grumble.

Chase chooses the closest one nearby that has coffee. He needs a pick me up, badly. He points to the one he picks with his thumb. "This one good with you?"

Jack nods. "Yeah. I hope they still sell coffee this late. It's been a while since I've had some good dirty bean water." The two of them head over.

Chase laughs, "That's what I was hoping to get too!" He eagerly takes them inside, the thought of coffee urging him forward.

The inside of the restaurant is warm and, importantly, dry. It smells like food and coffee. There are exactly two employees behind the counter, an older woman and a teenager who looks kind of sleepy. The place is empty except for those two--and Chase and Jack now.

"You go ahead and order," Jack says. "Get me a black coffee and whatever, anything will be good. I'll claim a spot."

"You got it~" Chase replies, going up to the counter. He smiles at the employees, "Hello! Can I get two orders of black coffee and um- two plates of fries? chips? I always forget what I'm supposed to call them!" He laughs.

It's chips here, but the teenage cashier understands what he means as she takes the order. "Just one minute," she says. "Here's your table number. We'll call it." She hands him a plastic card with the number two on it and then goes into the kitchen.

"Thanks!" Chase replies and takes the card and hurries back over to Jack.

Jack chose a table by the front windows, taking his duffel bag off and putting it on the chair next to him, leaving the ones on the other side of the table for Chase.

Bro looks around for an outlet and once he finds one he plugs in the charger and starts to recharge his phone. After that he sits down across from Jack and nervously taps his foot, watching his phone screen.

"Got us some chips-" He tells Jack idly.

"Great." Jack's expression brightens. "Food is good. Food is always good." He leans back in the chair. "Especially after a... fucking crisis, jeez. I did not expect to go right into that. I guess it's for sale because of the horrors." He laughs, a bit hysterically.

Chase laughs too, it feels better to laugh then to dwell on... whatever the hell that was. "Pft yeah. Probably... that thing was... so freaky." He shudders.

"It... kind of seemed to latch onto you," Jack says slowly. "Then again, they tend to avoid me after... what happened. So I guess you were the only available target."

"Yeah..." Chase mutters. "It... it's weird I... I almost felt like... like I... related to it... almost. That whiskey? .... I used to drink something that smelled just like that on my bad nights." He grips at his phone a bit harder.

Then, he blinks up at Jack. "Oh right... you said in the house- and... when we met. What... I mean you don't have to tell me if it's too much since we did just meet but... what happened to you...? What's the thing that targeted you?"

“I… I-I never learned what it’s called,” Jack says quietly. “I used to go online a lot, for my job. One day… I thought it was one of those weird creepypasta videos, you know, ‘ooo this thing happened totally for real,’ but… then things started happening. I started blacking out. Having bad dreams. Weird static on all my devices a-and messages and… I realized it was real. So I tried leaving home to see if that would work but… it just followed me. Hunted me down. And took me to this weird… pocket dimension, I guess.” He pauses.

The only word for his expression is haunted.

“I don’t want… to talk about what happened while in there. But there’s always a way out. I found it. And I’ve been.., like this since.” He pauses. “I wonder… if there’s some silent rule between them not to mess with me. Sometimes it seems like it.”

Chase listens with mounting horror. “Dude I… that’s- that’s awful… and you- you were trapped in that place for 9 months?” He shakes his head, “I… I get it. You don’t have to say anything more just… I’m so sorry, Jack..,”

Jack takes a shaky breath. "Thanks." He wipes at his eye. "It... means a lot to hear it. I-I do think I got one of the worse ones."

“Sounds like it…” Bro mutters. He shakes his head some more before going to check on his phone. Surely it had some battery by now, right?

Just as he checks, the phone buzzes as it turns on. As he examines it, he sees... a couple missed calls from Alt. They went to voice mail while it was off.

Chase stiffens and hurries to click on the oldest one, sitting up straighter in his seat.

Everything sounds muffled. Footsteps, a squeaking sound like old hinges, a clatter of metal. Heavy breathing, sobs catching. Then a loud commotion. Alt yells--then screams. “NO! NO LET ME GO! STOP IT!” he cries.

Chase jerks away from the sound of screaming, his face losing all its color. “No- no no no!”

There's another voice there but Chase can't make out what it is over Alt's panicked breathing and the rustling of cloth. “HELP!! SOMEONE HELP! PLEASE!!”

And then, suddenly, it cuts off.

Chase hurries to listen to the next one- please please please be better- be okay please be okay…!

It is not better. It is worse. The message starts with screaming. Wordless, pained screaming. "HELP!" It's unmistakably Alt. "HELP! SOMEONE--CHASE! CHASE!" He shouts for his brother before devolving into sobs. Metal scrapes against something. A stranger laughs.

And then it stops.

Jack leans forward. He can hear the screams on the phone from here.

Terrified panicked tears are in Chase’s eyes as he listens. He holds a shaky hand over his mouth, looking like he’s gonna be sick. He looks at Jack with wide eyes. “S-something- something got- A-Alt…!”

He’s afraid to see if there’s any more messages- but he shakily does. What else can he do?

There is one last message. This one starts with sobbing, heart-wrenching cries. "No! NO PLEASE!" Alt shouts.

A different voice says something--"Nicht bewegen"--and Alt starts screaming again. His voice sounds hoarse and raw. The message stops mid-shriek.

Hilariously enough, this is when the fast food employees say their food is ready. Well, not hilarious. Just absurd. And terrible.

Chase lets the phone fall limply from his hand, tears falling down his face as he stares numbly ahead, unable to take anything in. “G-German-“ He breathes, hardly able to get his voice to work, “There was… German- I know what that sounds like but- w-who?!”

Jack goes pale. "Fuck." He grabs his duffel bag, slinging it around his shoulder again. "Okay, so, these things are worldwide, including Germany, i-in fact there are a lot there. But, from what I'm hearing, I-I think I know which one that was. Do you think you can afford the fare to get there? I-I mean, it'll be a couple train rides and a ferry, but--We could probably sneak on if we had to--"

Chase is still kinda staring out, having difficulty processing all of this. But, slowly he nods and pushes himself up. “y-yeah yeah I… I can. I have enough- h-hero money, you know?” He tries to laugh, but it sounds hollow.

"Okay. Good. I thiiiink I remember where the train station is. They're bound to run a night train at some point. We need to get to the coast for the ferry."

Chase unplugs the charger and stuffs it in his pocket then his phone.

Jack stands up. He runs over and gets their food, bringing it back and practically thrusting the fries and coffee at Chase. "We need energy but we can eat on the way if we have to."

Chase numbly takes the food and nods. “okay… okay…” He breathes, trying not to break down. “we- we gotta go-“

"Don't panic," Jack stresses. "Panic is just going to make the journey worse. I'm not going to tell you not to worry, but don't panic." He takes his own portion of the food. "Now let's go save your brother."

Chase nods and that fire of determination comes back into his eyes. He takes another shaky breath and grips his phone tight in his pocket. “Yeah. Let’s go”

-----------

There's a brief respite when Alt is able to fall into a shallow, fitful sleep. It's not long. Not long at all. But it is a sort of escape.

He's awoken by a pain in his neck. Another injection. Notarzt is not taking any chances that he'll glitch away. Whatever this formula is, it keeps him tired and weak.

Alt whimpers as that now too familiar pain wakes him up. He blearily tries to move again but his limbs are too heavy. Everything is a dizzying blur, mixed with flare ups of pain.

"Hallo," Notarzt says. "Lass uns weitermachen."

At some point, he lost his jacket. No, he didn't lose it. He can see it on a heap on the floor by that rusted sink, right by his ruined shirt. His phone is sticking out of its pocket but it's too far to reach, with his hands or his magic. Not that he can even try, with the injection and the restraints. It's like it's mocking him with how close it is.

Alt’s eyes wander to his ruined shirt and his jacket. His eyes land on his phone and he slurs out quietly, making a grabbing motion with his trapped hand even if he can’t reach. “…Chase…chase…”

Notarzt notices the movement and tilts its head, looking thoughtful. It disappears out of sight for a moment and then returns with some sort of… metal clamps? It slides one onto Alt’s arm just above the wrist restraint and tightens it until Alt can feel its sharp edges digging into his skin. There’s no blood but there could be at any moment. But that’s not all. There are three other clamps, and Notarzt attaches them at regular intervals along Alt’s arm, ending with two on the forearm and two on the upper arm.

Alt stiffens as the clamp is put on and he shifts his eyes to try to look at what’s happening. “Wha… wha’re doin’?” He slurs, panic coming back into his hoarse voice.

Instead of answering, Notarzt takes out a length of metal filament, thin as string. It ties one end to a loop on the clamp near Alt’s wrist, then feeds it through similar loops on the others, connecting them all. It ties the other end to a small metal tool with a hook on the end—and stabs the hook into Alt’s chest just below the collarbone.

Alt screams and thrashes in his binds, “F-Fuck!”

Notarzt laughs and pulls out another syringe—where the fuck does it keep getting those?! They just pop out of nowhere! But this one is slightly different. The liquid inside is green instead of clear or red like it usually is. It injects Alt in the other arm.

Alt grits his teeth against the syringe and pants, trying to glare at Notarzt. But he’s so tired…

It takes a minute for this to take effect. And when it does—it’s strange. Alt feels his magic stir, like it does when he’s getting ready to blast someone with electricity. But he can’t control it. He can’t even glitch properly.

Alt jerks when he feels the power rise and an instinctual noise of pained surprise escapes his lips. What was happening?? How is it accessing his magic??

The power just keeps rising and rising until it suddenly concentrates on the spot where the hook is.

An electric shock centered on that. The metal filament shivers, transmitting the electricity—it’s all along his arm now, muscles spasming in response.

Alt can’t help but scream again, trying to pull away from the arm that’s spasming.

It’s not over yet. Notarzt picks up a long thin blade and slices down the seam of Alt’s jeans on the other side as the clamped arm. Then it grabs—oh no, it’s more clamps. It puts them along his leg in the same manner, including linking them with the string with the hook on the end. Then it stabs this hook into Alt’s stomach just above the hem of his jeans. The effect is instant this time—the power rushes to that hook as well and soon his leg is being shocked too.

Tear are streaming down his face as Alt tries to jerk away from the part of his body that feels on fire. His voice is already cracking from the screams. His other hand digs more rivets into the table as it tries to claw into it. His eyes flash bright green, crackling energy around him. But, it's all being used against him. "S-Stop..!" He tries to wail but his voice jolts and spasms alongside his muscles and he just lays back and sobs and screams- hoping this will end soon.

Notarzt leans over the table, not reacting much to Alt’s screams. It simply stands there, drinking it in.

Three minutes. It lasts three minutes, and then, slowly, his power starts to fizzle out. The pain fades, leaving behind a shadow of itself, and his muscles finally relax.

Alt fully slumps to the table, head lolling as far as it can in the restraints. He gasps and pants, breath coming out ragged and pained. His eyelids flutter and his eyes roll around in dazed pain. He whimpers and tries to find Notarzt. "...wh...wha'did you d-do...?" he croaks.

“Es ist zu kompliziert, es dir zu erklären.” Notarzt shrugs, a human motion that looks out of place when made by it. “Oder vielleicht will ich es einfach nicht.”

Alt's head is swimming- trying to see if he recognizes any of the doctor's words. He doesn't... he wishes Henny was here. But, then, Notarzt would be hurting him too. He chokes on a quiet sob, missing his friends more than ever. Missing glitches- the kids... Oliver... what if he dies here? What if he never sees them again?

It turns away, walking—not to the trays of tools, but to the sink. Even though it should have been too rusted to use, water comes out anyway. Notarzt returns with a… surprisingly normal-looking glass of water. “Normalerweise würde ich das nicht tun...” it says, and reaches out to undo the restraint on Alt’s neck.

Alt quiets as he hears the sink running. He looks confused up at Notarzt and wary, looking between him and the glass as the restraint is removed. Against his better judgment, he feels himself relaxing without that pressure on his scar.

"Trink das." Notarzt lowers the glass to his face, propping one hand behind Alt's head to push him up.

Alt is so thirsty he doesn't even question it, he eagerly drinks the water, closing his eyes to try to focus on not choking.

If Alt wonders that there might be a trick, there isn't. It's just water.

Notarzt makes sure he finishes it before going back to the sink and putting the glass back. "„Nichts Dauerhaftes“ schränkt meine Möglichkeiten wirklich ein..." it mutters, running a single gloved hand along the tools.

Alt falls back to the table, hungrily drinking in air after he's done. He weakly look around the room, his eyes landing on his phone again. Notarzt used his magic against him... but maybe he has some back...? He weakly tries to open his hand, seeing if he can summon his phone to him at all.

At first, nothing happens. But then--then there's a tiny glitch on the screen. The phone shifts slightly, moving out of the pocket.

Notarzt doesn't notice, it's too busy messing with the tools.

Alt's eyes widen and he smiles a bit. Then, he tries to move it more, gritting his teeth and putting as much energy as he can into it. If.. if he can call Chase... he might be able to glitch out of here...! ...if he can find a way to glitch that is...

The phone moves a bit more, falling out of the pocket and onto the clump of fabric that used to be his shirt. Slowly, inch by inch, it moves across the floor, dragging the shirt with it, thankfully muffling the movement. Until suddenly it skids across the floor and gently hits the side of the table.

Alt is straining- sweating as he tries to make the phone respond to him. He freezes as the phone clangs against the table. He holds his breath.

Notarzt stiffens and glances back, but turns back around when it’s satisfied Alt isn’t escaping.

When Notarzt turns back around, he opens up his hand more and tries to get the phone to fly into it. He might not have the strength though…

…

……

Yes! It barely makes it, but he’s got it by his fingertips.

Alt’s heart soars as he scrambles to get a better grip on the phone. Please don’t drop it- please…. He tries to maneuver it so he can unlock it- if he can… he’s memorized the motions needed to call Chase. The only question was… would he be able to glitch away? He hasn’t been able to glitch at all with all the chemicals Notarzt has been pumping into him.

Slowly, painfully slowly, he calls the right number. The other end picks up immediately—and for just a couple seconds he can hear Chase’s panicked voice.

Alt laughs breathlessly as he hears Chase’s voice, “C-Chase!” He desperately tries to glitch-

SKREEEEEKEEKEEKEEKEEKEE— An awful static noise comes from the speaker.

For a split second, Alt thinks he can hear a voice in it.

Notarzt whirls around immediately. “Nein!” it shrieks.

Alt shouts out in surprise and panic and his grip on the phone loosens as he cringes away from the sound.

Notarzt rushes forward. In an instant it snatches Alt’s phone away, stabs a blade through the meaty part of Alt’s hand between the thumb and forefinger, and throws the phone out through the ajar double doors.

Alt screams as his hand is stabbed and then shouts as the phone is thrown away.

“Was haben Sie getan?!” It shouts at Alt. “Was haben Sie getan?!?!” It sounds angry—but, is that… panic beneath the anger?

Alt glares angrily at Notarzt but seeing the doctor’s expression, he loses his bravado. He shrinks back, eyes wide. “I-I… I don’t know…!”

Notarzt screams wordlessly. It grabs the blade in Alt’s hand and pushes it further, driving it into the table beneath.

Alt’s back arches painfully as the blade is pushed further into his hand. He sobs out, “m’sorry! M’sorry!!”

Then it spins around and leaves the room, doors swinging closed behind it.

Alt can’t even bring himself to look at the doctor rushing away, just shutting his eyes and breaking down. He was so close.., so close!! What… what stopped him?

And.. why did it seem to scare Notarzt?

…Why does he feel like he’s being watched?

[jils-things]

ive been watching a lot of id.v stageplay recently (courtesy of milo telling me about it) i had heard of it before but didn't act upon it because im not a live action kinda person... until my friends straight up started sending me cute and silly tiktoks of stageplay nort.on and im so!?!?!?! im so... ... hes so fucking cute ekekekekekwkwk he's so quiet and yet he drops the most hilarious lines in a very stern tone i lovehimsomuchbehehehfbdhdjd this brought me back again AHAHAHDVHSSH

[timeisacephalopod]

Just got out from Fast 10 and y'all. Y'all that movie was all I ever wanted, a Whose Who of the series, Jason Momoa in space buns, adorable scrunchies, and Fun Nail polish, also his character throwing a tooth from his mouth at Vin Diesel's character and calling him a butthole in a petulant tone, Big Ass Car Explosions- everything you want out of a mindless action movie lol.

Highly recommend, takes from the fifth movie and creates the plot for the tenth so that's interesting!! I do love when a series show or movie mines itself for stories instead of continuing to make shit up, makes introing Jason Momoa's character feel less janky to have attached him to the middle of the series. Gives us a nice break from Cypher being the villain too, a good shakeup!!

[addie4ddie2005]

JKFDJBKFDBKFSJK IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED THOSE FIRST INITIAL SKETCHES!!!!!!!- I went ahead and tried reaching into more experimental stuff with the last quote from the first chapter and I REAAALLLY want to dig into both the customization stuff and the whole "did we just die-" parts >:D

Expect more silly stuff from me cause your fic has resurrected my motivation and has cured my art block 🕺

RAAAAAAAH 🦅🦅🦅

These look FANTASTIC!!! I LOVE the text trailing off like that… definitely corresponds with the deconstruction of our Reader. Anyways yeah. This goes SO HARD ‼️💯

And oh. Him looking on complacent. It’s almost like he WANTS you to become disconnected from your humanity and forget everything but him?? Wilddd.

Kinito in the drip… Bro would definitely see you dressing up whenever you need a vibe change and be like Hmm. A friendly friend activity that I can relate to them with!! And fail. (Not to spoil anything, but he does come to understand why you love Looking A Certain Way!)

Again TYSM for these they actually make my day!! I got this notif right after a long ahh car ride too,, so nice so good 🐛

EDIT: I FORGOT TO SAY INCREDIBLE I LTTRTALLY CANNOT ARTICULATE

[whereismyhat5678]

Do you have any headcanons of Kaufmo?

Hmm….Alright, let’s see:

- Kaufmo has a twitching eye if you push his buttons too much

- Bro either tells terrible jokes or hilarious jokes. It’s usually when he’s trying he says horrible jokes, but when he’s not he’s fantastic 💀

- He tries so hard to make people positive, but fails miserably

- He has a goofy ahh voice, sorta sounds like the egg bois from Hazbin Hotel (gotta give credit, those things are cute-)

- When he runs, he would constantly trip over himself because of his clown shoes

- He paints for fun, at first he used to do little happy things to keep himself calm, but a little bit later when he started to break, he painted more….unsettling things…

- Him and Pomni probably would’ve gotten along fine, except Pomni would probably get tired of his “Everything’s fine!” shtick.

- I think Kaufmo and Jax got along fine too, except Jax liked to bully him. Although, he would be a genuine good friend to him at times.

- He liked Ragatha, but Ragatha didn’t like him. She thought he was a little bit too positive, and she thought his jokes were a bit weird. So she kept her distance.

- With the rest, I think Kaufmo and Gangle were besties who drew together, Kinger and him would play in the pillow forts, and Zooble was pretty chill with him

- He. Feared. Caine.

- And he was pretty good at juggling!

[jack-kellys]

hello everyone here are the few notes i had from that weird night i keep mentioning (march 29):

alex christian legend hero king tossed himself into buttons for act 2 while fellow legend hero king jordan isaac tossed himself out of buttons and into tommy boy!

* it’s something i didn’t consider bc i’ve never done this show on a professional level like this— each character has a track. like each little ensemble role. because tommy dances here during this part, and he crosses this way, and jordan can’t just do his personal track because tommy has to scab and talk to these people and etc. like that mapping out must be fucking insanity especially considering they have TWO SWINGS ONLY right now bc of past injuries etc. with the moscar debacle this weekend this has become pretty obvious but the way we were like “aw no alex… —where’s jack?? —ALEX????”

the lights came all the way on during intermission that day! so we had intermission for at least 10 extra minutes to switch out tommy for jordan and consequently jordan for alex, which was fine by me bc now i have fully lit pictures of the set for you all.

jack bromage (tommy boy) nearly dropped zach guest (ike? a swing?) on his fucking head! whoops!!! and then tommy got hurt and disappeared for act 2 LMAO mans needs to be more careful oh my god

*speaking on tommy though as a character in this version: tommy is integral to the newsies. he’s in trousers, takes the east side as a whole to report the strike to, and when he scabs… oh it’s a moment. crutchie is shocked (“tommy?”), finch says his “they think they can just waltz in here and take OUR jobs?” to tommy directly and shoves him down, which is the only act of violence finch rly commits.

*during the brawl, finch hangs back (around woodside’s overhang balc) and surveys. and there’s this one moment when mush is on the ground via wiesel who has a baseballl bat, and mush is pleading w/ wiesel not to hit him. wiesel grips mush’s suspender as if to hit him again and then the cop whistle blows, and wiesel drops mush and mush.. doesn’t get up. you can hear finch say “no.. no no no-” from woodside before running down and checking if mush is breathing, tapping him to wake him up and get up… ahh another newsie was next to mush that finch was checking on too but i wasn’t sure who- and then finch bolts with those two. and it’s when he’s helping those two offstage that crutchie calls for him, romeo, jack. like bro. the ACTUAL CHARACTER in this show is fantastic like that’s so small but literally the only reason finch can’t help crutchie is bc he’s doing his little sub-leader role and he can’t and it’s. sad. i was like oh wow. nuance. directorial thought. like they had to reason out that staging. it makes me think if they went thru the show and were actually like “what is each character doing during this fight” instead of “what is each actor doing during this fight” which is SOOOOO. impressive.

after king of new york, race and finch take the tables off down in front of brooklyn’s seating. i was sitting in brooklyn bc i scored an act 2 spot lmao. race says to finch “i don’t polish the tables, THEY do!” and pointed directly at me with a fire in his mf eyes. i was. startled and i also fell in love

going into headcanon territory rq for mush. there was a little joking snippet a while back on jacob’s insta story q&a with mush punching albert in the context of like “who could beat al in a fight”. so like mush might be a bit younger but maybe he’s a good fighter so finch seeing HIM down that badly during the fight…. slay. i just love it. it scares finch so bad. i wanna write the fight from his pov now

anyway gents this weekend we approach my final time of seeing this show (i’ve gone 5 times oops)… but definitely not my final analysis post. thank u for sticking by and giving them a lot of love it’s very cool they’re all under #analysis

[helmofon3596]

METAL MINE FESTIVAL SO FUCKING GREAT!!! we saw so many cool bands we had an amazing time we laughed a lot, we got a lot of cool things like posters cds tshirts stickers badges patches signatures omfg. on friday we saw zgroza, gaerea, taake, lyrre and some others.

GAEREA WAS STUNNING guilherme had moves like a cat or sometimes like a crazy video game character or sometimes like a sexy alien. i was hypnotized by that ahhh or when he slid his hand along his torso or when he kneeled down in front of one the guitarists it was so hot. and he had skinny jeans and a tight shirt it was all so damn good i loved their show. it was much better than i imagined. they have a fantastic and unique style.

next was TAAKE bro..... I FUCKING LOVE HOEST he looked like an inhuman entity like a vampire a nosferatu a demon pulled straight out of hell.... i couldnt take my eyes off him he was so mesmerizing like...... and when he took off his cape oh jesus i could see a bit of his chest and his ribs omfg and the todesking tattoo ahh.... or when he put one of his legs on the speaker or when he came closer to where i was standing or when he was pulling up his pants or i dont know i loved everything about him but the best was when he left the stage and i could see him in the back and i waved at him and showed heart hands and he fucking WAVED BACK and SMILED........... i almost died i cried i felt blessed by him im so happy!!!!!!!!! i couldnt think of anything else.

the next day we saw SOTHORIS i love them a lot too and i dont understand how they are not popular. my friend loved them as well even though she never heard their music before. raven looked so fucking cool in corpse paint and a sleeveless shirt and bright green contacts omggg. after the show he was at the merch stand and we took photos with him and he put his arm around my shoulder i was fucking shaking like shit and he was so calm and nice. i bought a tshirt and a badge from them. later we were hanging around close to their stand and sometimes i felt like he was looking at us and smiling a bit but i dont know. he seems like such a cool guy and he looks damn good without corpse paint too.

later we also saw ROTTING CHRIST and it was raining like motherfucker but we stopped caring and just had fun. sakis was also really sweet he smiled a lot and the guitarists were really cool too and were windmill headbanging in sync. the songs felt totally different live than hearing them at home. it was amazing you could see how the people love them and how they love their fans as well.

ill make fucking sure to come back to walbrzych next year cuz if they invite watain.... im immediately buying the tickets.

[pokespefangirl]

(For the Pokéstar Studios AU)

Hey this is the same anon, I'm super happy that you liked the idea! Sincerely, I am extremely stoked, thank you so much!

This concept has been running through my mind nonstop ever since that ask and I have a few more ideas. Not to pressure you to add this in the fic or force these ideas on you, yet again I'm just having fun sharing these.

Anyways, Blake and Black brother-in-law moments REAL?! Whitley and White sister-in-law moments TRUE!? Ugh i'm eating up these hypothetical scenarios.

White most likely assigns Black to be Blake's bodyguard whenever he decides to go out, since he has celebrity status and all. The same thing goes for Whitley, though I see Blake accompanying her a lot too. So Black has to thirdwheel, not knowing it's Blake enacting vengeance for all those time he was the thirdwheel when it was just White, Black, and him at the BW Agency.

Also more of how I think Blake would be as an actor, though in this scenario he never received super spy training, he probably got super intense media training from White. They're both coming up with insane, genius, absolutely unhinged strategies to manipulate the media, Light Yagami monologuing typa bamboozlery. And Whitley and Black are just having a pleasant chat, side eyeing them every thirty seconds or so.

I imagine Blake's acting style to be refined, perfect, infallible that it's almost too much. Since he doesn't understand emotions, he studies, studies, studies, and studies. Writing down what his character would do, analyzing every line of dialogue, down to the body language and speech patterns etcetera. That's how he's able to nail so many different characters. AKA Christian Bale ahh acting style.

Now for Whitley, she's the opposite, she's new and unrefined, full of flaws. But full of emotion, her performances reaches out and captures. Delivering the feel needed for the scene and character.

And it really fascinates Blake, how she's so in tune with her emotions, making him kinda obsessed with her reactions...

That's it for now, I haven't even touched the surface for Blake and White's sibling dynamic but I sort of don't want this to be novel-length. Yet again, I am so happy that you accepted that ask! I really look forward to what you're cooking up, take as much time as you need!

Lil Bonus:

Blake: *trying to spook/fluster Whitley* Great job on set, your acting needs a little more work but you've got potential.

Whitley: Oh! Um, thanks...

Blake: You should learn how to be more confident, we don't want people to think you're easy to take advantage of...those rumors in Pokéwood are not to be taken lightly. *attempts to rizz* don't worry I'll-

Whitley: OH NO, w-were you a victim!?

Blake: Wh-what of course not-

White: *Bonks him on the head* Of course not! I made SURE that never happened to him, and I will DEFINITELY do the same for you!

ANON YOU ARE DRIVING ME ABSOLUTELY CRAZY W HAPPINESS W ALL OF THESE GREAT FANTASTIC Amazing Awonderf IDEAS, OFC I NEED TO ADD ALL OF THEM NOW <3 NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL SOON SO I'LL ADD MORE LATER BUT FOR NOW I WAS THINKING

Blake is studying Whitley right?!!! Almost out of a curiosity as to how she feels and experiences all these emotions?? So naturally!! Especially her beautiful eyes that get teary whenever shes thinking about something sad! He could study her all day!!

To add to that: Blake never had pets or cared for animals bcs you know... sociopath and all, but he starts seeing Whitley feeding a stray cat!! ANd EVENTUALLY (WHEN THERES SOME ANGST POINT) HE STARTS FEEDING THE LITTLE KITTEN HIMSELF just from seeing Whitley when he's walking by all alone!!

And you're so right he'd craft his image with the convoluted intelligence of Light Fucking Yagami lmaoo that's so good!!

AND UK WHITE IS THE MOST AMBITIOUS GIRL LIKE SHE'S MAKING SURE BLAKE IS TOPPING ALL THE RATINGS AWARDS WHATEVE, BUT her YOUNGER BRO ALSO ANNOYS HER SOMETIMES W HIS HEINOUS SOCIOPATHY AND SHE HAS TO DO DAMAGE CONTROL LMAOO (mostly it's him being with all sorts of ladies before being w Whitley and unintentionally breaking their hearts cus they didn't interest him for too long)

AND BLACK IS SUCH A FIERCE BODYGUARD BUT ALSO WHOLESOME!! LIKE HE WILL KILL FOR HIS BROTHER IN LAW!! BUT OFC OFC HE'LL GIVE THE FANS FREE FOOD AND GIFT BASKETS ON HIS BEHALF TOO AND HELP THE FANS GET BLAKE'S AUTOGRAPH especially he'll help anybody whose disabled bcs it's the right thing to do!! God he's so good

so yeah Whitley!! Whitley is pure!! Unfiltered!! And blake doesn't know what that's like aside from his family everybody else in Hollywood tend to be shallow and judgemental and fake!! But Whitley s not afraid to cry, to smile, to laugh, she's not afraid of what ppl think and guess what!! Blake needs that bcs he's been hiding his sociopathy all along! Bcs his career would be over if anybody revealed his diagnoses!!

Initially it started out as fun that he studied Whitley and tried to get emotions out of her!! Initially he just joked she was becoming an addiction! Just something to have!! But then things started to get real and he began to experience!!

Something big!! Something else!! Nobody had ever kept him that interested in his life!! Jumping from person to person!! Director to Director!! Everybody was fed up with him but then came in Whitley!! And this man just cannot let her go!!

And ya know Black is ready to defend his whole family!! He's outside of his work hours still doing his job cus that's what he should do!! Is Prez okay?? Where should we go next?? Lemme be with you Prez i cant risk anything happening to u not on my watch imma be the best bodyguard ever!! And Blake's just standing there like- "Bet"

ANYWAYS I SAID I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH TIME BUT I GUESS I HAD TO RESPOND HAHAHA, thank you so much this whole au and concept is honestly making my day and i can't wait to finish it!!

[hepbaestus]

Thoughts on The Adam Project (2022)

I'm bored so let's watch The Adam Project (2022).

All I know is that Walker Scobell is playing a young Ryan Reynolds (Walker's also going to be Percy Jackson which I'm really excited about)

Cool Earth shot bro

Set in 2050. Huh, only 17 years from now.

Oh he's bleeding and is a Captain

Oooooo wormhole looks cool

And so he stole the ship

Ahh young Adam gets bullied

Tryna shoot his shot

Poor Chuck

He's asthmatic, I was too

Oof Adam's a smol child

I love the sass of this kid

Such a nice house

Oh no his mum's nicely dressed up - going on a date

Walker really does remind me of Ryan, he's done a fantastic job

"Make good choices".

Of course he just has a vr headset

Ominous music and lighting. Nice

His dog is named Hawking??

The fact that he just has a giant woods behind his house astounds me

Oooo cool embers

How does this remember the way in that woods, I'd get lost so easily

Oooo dusty old shed, probably his father's??

"What are you doing in here?" "Mostly bleeding." God I love this film already.

I hate the squelch of blood.

Good doggie

I love the exasperated adult and curious unathletic child dynamic

Born 2010? God I feel old.

Poor Hawking

The wound farting at older Ryan's cough breaking the moment is so on point for a Ryan Reynolds film.

The CGI of this film is really cool

Just the use of the flashlight is cool, how it shows when he's lying and stuff.

WAS THAT ZOE SALDANA????

"Hey there kiddo." I hate that phrase.

The lighting in this film. Ugh I love it

That's a lot of letters

Ewww Cheerios, one of the worst cereals known to mankind.

WAIT A MINUTE

MARK RUFFALO IS HIS FATHER????

They're just casually talking about this in public, as you do

Good ol' adult threatening a child, also as you do normally, you know?

The area where this was filmed is beautiful.

The emphasis on "ever more" hurts

Meaningful conversation with mum and older Adam, weird

Oooooo ship over water?

Ahhh the people searching for old Adam.

The conflict is beginning

They still have the same mannerisms? That's cool.

His dad invented time travel? That's so cool

The dog knows that they're here.

That taser spin? Hot.

Cool not-lightsaber

Oh fuck.

Emotional manipulation?

Oh??

ZOE SALDANA??? YOOO

I feel bad for young Adam to explain this.

That's a fucking lightsaber

Young Adam's outfit reminds me of Steve Harrington's when he and Robin were getting their jobs at Family Video.

Into the woods where the trees could easily be set alight causing a forest fire? Of course

"Don't you just want to hold him underwater until the bubbles stop" what a line

Aww sad conversation where she has to stay in young Adam's timeline while Ryan!Adam has to go back to fix things

Ooooo weapons

Ooo explosives

College is a high point? Oof

Losing his scholarship? Oh no.

The emphasis on the "we're". Awwww

Is this where she dies? Oopie

Rip

I wish Mark Ruffalo was my lecturer, he seems so fun and simultaneously morbid at the same time

He's such a dad omg

The fact that they're arguing in public about this

Oof

"Stop being a scientist, be a father."

Omg this is he talking to her younger self

I love that he can't cook

Young Adam's nicknames for Ryan!Adam is brilliant

Gotta love the daddy issues laced into this film, it like me fr

This fight scene gives me Guardians of the Galaxy vibes

Hell yeah young Adam with the fake lightsaber

The way he held the saber, can't wait for that in the Percy Jackson show

Ah yes the sad parting talk with their father

Healing the daddy issues by playing catch

That's such a sad shot, the glove on the ground with the wind moving the leaves and his dad is not in focus behind it

Please tell me Ryan!Adam gets a good ending

No

Omg

They meet again at the academy!

Hell yeah good ending.

Overall score: 8/10

Recommendations welcome!

[drjcowboys]

Dean Rodney Jr and the cowboys first ever article.

The emotive synthesised strings of "The man with the golden suit transport me back to supernormal festival in Oxfordshire,August 2022.

Dean Rodney Jr's metallic gold boots glint in the sun as the band take to the appropriately saloon like shed stage and begin to play. Hearing Rodney and his cowboys for the first time and feeling the collective charge of joy they generate among the crowd is a festival experience I'll never forget.

I didn't know there was a term for what was happening at the time, but have since discovered that it was what some call a yeehaw moment..

A year later, the London based ensemble have captured that moment in album form.

With added spoken word interludes, rich production and engaging sequencing. The Yeehaw moment is another deep dive into the unique world of artist, musician and rapper Dean Rodney Jr, with support from trumpeter Robyn rocket, bassit Rosie Ridgway, synthesist Tom Hirst and Drummer Jack Barraclough.

Rodney has produced many ambitious and immersive projects over the years through his work Deptford based arts charity Heart N Soul, has toured extremely as the Afropunk band the fish police and is also an intensely prolific solo bedroom producer. In lockdown he recorded 54 albums under Dean TV umbrella, a name which refers to the autism informed way that he sees the world, sometimes as if it were a TV show.

The Yeehaw moment sees Rodney expanding on some of his ideas forged during that intensive period of working alone or online, now reinterpreted with his new full band.

The album contains many characters and storyline some of which are taken from real life scenarios and observations, such as eating a seeded burger bun (food is a recurring theme in Rodney's work) while others spun from more fantastical visions, such as a visit to Easter Island where Rodney meets the talking statue bro bro man.

Rodney has cited 1980's electronic music, Daft punk and earth wind and fire.

As influences.

Indeed, throughout the album we're treated to flashes of funk, disco, lo-fi hiphop, synthpop and more, sometimes recalling the spirit of Gary Numan, talking heads or Grace Jones. In She said no problem in which Dean remembers an online conversation he had with a friend during lockdown. Ridgway's cool and measured bassline works with Barraclough's restrained drum fills to underpin a tight synth funk feel, and Rocket's echoing trumpet melody adds an apt pensiveness to Rodney Jr's musings on that strange and isolated time.

New photo begins with daft punk like arpeggio from Bunaiger affect.

Dean Rodney Hirst, with the brigde and chorus akin to Numan or Kraftwerk in its stripped back synthpop glory.

"Every time I see that picture it looks so good, it's a new photo" raps Rodney Jr in his direct, downtempo style. Rodney reflects on the joy of a fresh perspective, and through the brilliant simplicity of the lyrics we share in his smooth, measured vocal delivery contrasts against the rocking, reverberating backing screams of the formidable Robyn Rocket.

There is much humour in Rodney's observations too with comedic grace, Ahh what was that riffs on the subject of noisy farts, and Boing appreciates the jiggling body parts of moving party goers.

Sometimes a Rodney chorus will feature quick repeating lines that will feature quick repeating lines that will subtly adjust in unsual ways, as in the off beat tonuge twister Sesame bun.

Much like an epic TV series, Rodney's extensive discography features characters that linger and develop and motifs that reappear after long stretches of time. During the yeehaw moment's opening track the man in the golden suit Rodney declares its like a mystery here and I'm reminded of the prophetic penultimate track of his 2017 debut solo album The buzzard degree, in which the chorus repeats its like a cowboys in here.

Like fully realised broadcasts direct from his mind, Rodney's output makes it possible for him to display and share the unique way he perceives his surroundings.

His ultra catchy songs are open invitations to partake in his creative fun they didn't know existed.

This article was written by Meg Woof.

From page 59 of wire magazine issue 474.

[katb357]

Sicktember 2: “Homesick”

P. Newkirk/K. Langenscheidt/Hogan’s Heroes

This story takes place in Stalag 13’s Cooler and consists of all dialogue. Thank you to my fantastic writing partner Xav for the RP!

Peter Newkirk had landed himself in the cooler again and Karl Langenscheidt was his guard on the night shift. Both of them found themselves homesick on this long night, and, though they had little in common, they began to talk of home, and what they missed the most. Karl began the conversation.

“I am think of Mama’s Semmeln, fresh von the oven. She is quite the baker, my Mama.”

“Sem what? Sounds like a sneeze, mate!”

Karl spoke dreamily, “The canteen Brötchen just can’t measure up.  And her Kuchen… mit chocolate and coconut. Ahh, that is delicious. Semmeln. You call them rolls, I think.”

Peter rolled over on the hard bunk and considered. “Britchen? Kitchen? Ah, okay, chocolate I get. Rolls, huh? Me mum bakes good bread. The best.”

“Nice and crusty rolls. Mama brings them von the oven und we slice them open when they are still hot and drizzle honey over them.” Then he realized what Peter had said. “Not ‘kitchen’ ‘kuchen’… it is… cake.”

Peter snickered. “We never had much cake unless we nicked it from the corner shop. Then mum would box our ears for us.”

“Box ears?  What is this? And what is nicked?”

“Nicked, swiped, stole. Boxed, smacked. Mum did her best to keep us honest, but keeping up with ten of us wasn't easy.”

“Wait here a moment, Newkirk. I will come right back.” Returns a moment later with a box “Mama sent me a package.” Opens it up and produces a chocolate cake. “You must taste it. Then you will know my Mama is the best baker.”

Takes a bite “Oi, that is good mate. But me mum's crumpets are better than even this. She took in washing for a toff what’s cook taught her to make 'em.”

Frowns “You cannot think anything is better than Mama’s cake.” Considers for a moment. “Then again, the English palate… it is… schwach.”

Raises an eyebrow and frowns dangerously. “It's what?”

“Unrefined. Maybe better word is unkultiviert.”

Peter simply stared for a moment...

“But… schlicht is easier. And means simple, unpretentious.”

“Well, we ain't toffs if that's what you mean.”

Smiles nervously. “It is only… English tastes are… quite simple. So I have been told. You are not accustomed to the finer things… like Mama’s Kuchen.”

Seems unsure if he's been insulted or not. “Maybe it's a good thing you're on that side of the bars, mate. Me mum's cooking is fine...just fine, thankee.”

“But there is more to cooking than Nachtisch… I mean… dessert… and Bro— bread. What else does your mother cook?”

“Anything she needs to. Three times a day. For a family of eleven when we were growing up, twelve when me old man was around. She kept us fed and fed well on not much money.”

“What is your favorite meal?”

“Chicken pot pie with real chicken. Cherry tarts for dessert.”

Raises an eyebrow and blushes slightly. “Tarts?”

“Small pies. Flaky and crusty... mum makes 'em perfectly.”

Chuckles “Ahh, this is not what I was thinking tarts meant. I am thinking tarts are…” Lowers his voice

“Women of questionable virtue!”

Bursts out laughing “I can see 'ow you'd think that, but no. You'd like 'em. I sure miss 'em. And her.”

Nods slowly “I also miss my Mama. And my Schwester. Ahh, she is a very good cook. I miss her Nudelauflauf.”

“Fluffy noodles?”

“Not fluffy. I don’t know your English word for it… Auflauf… it… runs over? It crowds? You pour all the parts in one dish and bake it together. Sauce and cheese and noodles…”

“Macaroni and Cheese!”

“Sort of… not entirely—a spaghetti casserole.”

“Spaghetti and cheese, then. I could live with that.”

“There is also Kartoffelauflauf… potatoes instead of noodles. My Schwester’s is the best.”

“No potatoes for me, mate. And no cabbage, either. Sick of both, thanks.”

“We do eat many potatoes here. But they are not prepared like Katja’s. I would love a plate full of hers. Don’t tell my Mama, but she does not cook potatoes so well as my Schwester.”

“I would never doom a man like that.”

“You are a good fellow, Newkirk, even if you are English.”

“You're not so bad for a German, either mate.”

“Verdammt, Newkirk… now I am hungry. And homesick.”

“And I am also stuck in here for another 27 days...”

“You have only yourself to blame, my friend.”

“Maybe you can get your Mama to bake a cake with a file in it for me.”

Sighs heavily, then pushes the box into Newkirk’s hands “There is no file. But you have the rest of this. She’ll send me another.”

“Thanks mate. I'll share it with the others later tonight. Don't tell anyone, right?”

“My lips are sealed…. This is what one says, yes?”

“Good man! Yes!”

“I knew no English when I came to this Stalag. Now I speak very good.”

“You learn from the best!”

“Tell me, Newkirk. What do you miss most from your home?”

“The pub. The Red Lion.”

“Ahh, the pub. We call this die Kneipe.”

“What do you miss the most besides your mam's cooking?”

“Ahh, I miss the Alps. I could see them from my bedroom window.”

“The north is not so beautiful as my home in Bayern.”

“I've heard of them. Never seen big mountains like that.”

“Papa and I would go wandering… hiking?… together, and we would stop for a beer at a Gasthaus when we were reached the end of the trail.”

“Me old man wandered the pubs a lot too. I used to go rousting him out at the end of the night pretty often.”

“No, I do not mean wandering the pubs. We take a long walk in the mountains and then we stop for a refreshing drink and a bite to eat at a Gasthaus that is meant to serve wanderers.”

“Oi, I know that mate. Forget it. Homesickness is making me silly. Let me get some shut eye and I'll be fine.”

“Yes, shut eye. Perhaps I will get some too.” Winks “But you won’t tell anyone, yes?”

“Me lips are sealed!”

“Good man! I will only wait until you are sleeping.”

“G'night mate.”

“Guten Nacht, Newkirk”

The End

[geminidentitycrisis]

Fatgum x F!reader "What a Hero SHOULD do"

Whew.

You guys.

I've been gone a long while, life has been a rollercoaster, but I don't really wanna get into all that noise. Just happy to be in a good place right now.

That said, this was painful to write because I had planned the ending very differently...

I'm not officially in the bnha/mha fandom but, I just got into it recently and wanted to show some love to my favorite Pro!

Hope you guys like it!

I haven't written anything in a while, so please go easy on me...

_____________

(WARNING! Mild angst)

"Hey, Fat...can I ask you something kinda personal...?"

Fatgum glanced down at his young intern with an eyebrow raised, tilting his head in curiosity. "Huh? Oh, sure. What's on yer mind?" he gave an encouraging grin to put Kirishima at ease. The red head craned his neck to look up at his boss, his own mouth twisted into a small frown.

"Have you asked _______ on a date yet...?"

He stumbled a bit but keeps walking, caught off guard by the question, a slight blush rising to his cheeks. "Woah, where did that come from?!" he asked in return with a nervous chuckle. "Well..." Kirishima continued "You guys seem really close. The way you look at her when you see her-"

"Hahaha!" the burst of anxious laughter interrupted and Red Riot looked up at Fatgum again in confusion. "You're reading too deep into it, man! We're just friends! Heh..." Toyomitsu tried to act casually, but it wasn't working at all.

Kirishima pouted a bit, deciding to push a little harder.

"...but, I think she has feelings for you, too-" the blonde stopped walking and stared down at him, his blush growing darker and spreading across the bridge of his nose, cutting him off again. "Okay, let's change the topic, huh? Maybe we should go somewhere else for lunch..."

Eyes widening a bit, Red Riot raised both hands defensively and shook his head. "No, no! I'm sorry...I won't mention it again..." his expression became one of defeat and disappointment, shoulders slumping as he continued to walk, staring down at the sidewalk.

With an inward wince, Toyomitsu followed close behind, his own gaze dropping to the ground as well. Silence passed between the Pro and his sidekick for several minutes before Fatgum spoke up again.

"Honestly, she deserves better..." he mumbled.

This was a surprise to Kiri, his mentor was always inspirationally self-confident, it was disheartening to hear such a comment from the man he so deeply admired. He opened his mouth to argue, but stopped himself when he remembered that he had already promised to drop the subject.

He felt bad for bringing it up now.

_______ was a sweet lady, she was funny and friendly, vivacious and beautiful, generous, tough and a fantastic cook. All Kirishima wanted was to see them both happy together. When they spotted each other through the window of the diner, their eyes lit up, a smile instantly formed on their lips, they would practically start glowing.

She always ran to jump into his arms, hugging around his neck, never failing to say how she missed him. He caught her every time, hiding his face in her hair as he hugged her back and would say he had missed her too, but especially her cooking!

If that isn't true love, Kiri thought, then what is...?

They finally made it to the diner and stopped outside. Fatgum looked through the window, and when he didn't see ______ anywhere, glanced at Red Riot again with a frown. "Listen, can I count on you to keep that little conversation between us? I don't want ______ to know how I feel..."

"You're not sick, are you??" a soft voice piped up from beside Toyomitsu.

It made both of them jump, startled. Fatgum whipped his head around to see ______ standing there, instead of her pretty smile, her face was flooded with worry at the thought of her Hero being ill or injured.

The Pro forced a crooked grin as the blush returned to his cheeks. "N-no, no, I'm fine! How's it goin'...?" he stuttered weakly.

She was clearly not convinced, the concern in her bright (e/c) eyes only deepened. "C'mon...all this time we've known each other, you think I can't tell when something's bothering you...?" he started to panic a bit but Red Riot swooped in to save the day like the rising star he was.

"Aw, he just had a big breakfast, that's all...he doesn't wanna hurt your feelings if he can't finish lunch." Kirishima answered casually with a lightly teasing undertone, arms crossing over his chest. She looked from him up at Fatgum who responded to her questioning expression with a sheepish grin and shrug.

At this, her smile bloomed in place, eyes twinkling mischievously as she playfully elbowed his broad, squishy belly. "Oh, c'mon! When have you ever left here without takeout, even after filling up?! As if it matters..." she giggled, hopping up into his arms as always, chin resting on his shoulder as she nuzzled against him sweetly.

"I'm just happy you're okay...I missed you!"

Bending at the waist with his arms extended, the blonde caught her effortlessly when she hopped up for the hug, sighing and closing his eyes as he rises to his full height, squeezing the small girl gently.

"Ahh, I'm fine, I'm fine...I missed you too..."

Kirishima gave a soft smile as he watched the exchange, dropping himself into the patio chair where he always sat when they came to the diner.

When he set her down, ________ smiled from him to his sidekick. "Your food should be done soon. It's a new recipe! I hope you guys like it!" then she waved over her shoulder as she walked back inside. Exhaling softly, Fatgum turned to sit as well. He glanced over at Red Riot, blushing a bit, only for it to get worse when he notices the toothy grin he's being flashed.

"...Oh, knock it off..." the pro grumbles, arms crossing and lowering his eyes to the tabletop.

"I didn't SAY anything...~!" Kirishima taunted childishly, arms folding behind his head as he leans back and closes his own eyes. "You didn't have to, punk." Tai shot back in typical big-bro style, reaching out across the table to muss the teens perfectly sculpted hair. "Aw, quit! It takes 40 minutes to set every morning!"

Fatgum chuckled, eyes rolling.

After some minutes passed, _______ returned with another server, both carrying trays of food which they placed on the table in front of the two heroes. "Wow! It looks so good!" they said simultaneously, earning a laugh from her.

"Well, I hope you like the taste even more. It's a cheeseburger-tater-tot-casserole. Dig in!" wasting no time, Kirishima and Toyomitsu start chowing down, both groaning happily around mouthfuls of the meal and nodding in approval. "Mmm...!" _______ laughed again, giving a thumbs up.

"Glad to hear it! I'll be right back with your drinks."

She left again but came back quickly with two pitchers and a cup, putting them between their plates. "Yer an angel, _____." Fatgum said with a grin, taking one of the pitchers and starting to drink from it. Red Riot snickered quietly before sipping his own drink.

"Oh, I just remembered! Check this out!" she said cheerfully, reaching behind her neck and starting to untie her apron. Upon glancing at her and noticing this, Fatgums eyes grew wide and a dark blush pooled in his cheeks, choking slightly on the ice water. "...?!"

Kiri froze, his eyes getting big as well and blushing slightly.

She dropped the top, revealing...

A tank top. With a picture of a sombrero. It said "If you don't like TACOS, I'm NACHO type"

Red Riot started laughing, covering his eyes with a hand as he tipped back his head. "Cute, right?!" she asked enthusiastically, looking from one to the other. Smiling weakly, Fatgum gave a slow nod. "It's great...really clever..." he wondered if steam would rise off him if he poured the rest of the water down his neck.

"Yeah, I knew I had to have it when I saw it. Anyway," she started to fix her apron again. "I'll let you guys finish eating. Let me know if you need boxes and your takeout oughtta be done before you get done with those. Enjoy!" with that, she walked off.

The blonde watched over his shoulder as she left before sliding his plate out of the way, folding his arms on the table and burying his face in them.

Grinning, Kiri nudged his foot under the table. "DON'T. SAY. A WORD." this reply only got him to laugh again, head shaking as he resumed eating. "Whatever you say, boss..." the red head hummed.

Between them, they were able to clear their dishes, waiting by the front door for the takeout, both content and full of tasty food. "Alright, guys. Here ya go! I'm glad you liked lunch, lemme know when you wanna try it again." Tai smiled down at her when she came out, taking the bags gratefully. "Yeah, definitely. Will do!"

______ hugged Kirishima tightly, pulling him down to place a kiss on his forehead, surprising him and making him blush faintly since she hadn't done it before. "Be safe, young man, you hear me?" she demanded. He answered with a broad smile and a nod. "Gotcha!"

"Ooh, do I get one of those?" Fatgum asked half jokingly, blushing too. Some color rose up on her cheeks as well, giving him a warm smile as she reached up for the BMI hero.

He put down the food to pick her up again for another hug, chuckling softly when she pressed a tender kiss against his cheek. "Aw, that was sweet!" Kirishima called up to them, earning a swift kick to the ass. "Ow! Hey!" the red head complained, rubbing the spot.

He set her down carefully with a deep sigh. She didn't let go of his arms and he looked at her in confusion. "Please be careful out there, Taishiro...I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you..." he grinned, placing a hand on her head. "I will. I'll be back before ya know it!"

She pressed herself into his tummy, coming nowhere close to being able to wrap her arms around him but she gives him her best hug anyway. The pro didn't have to look at his intern to know he was smirking smugly. He hugged her back before stepping away to grab his bags again. "Well...see ya, _____."

He waved, smiling, then turned so they could head back out. They only took a few steps before Fatgum stopped and glanced back at her over his shoulder.

She was still there, offering another small smile and wave of goodbye.

"C'mon, man! Just go for it! You TOTALLY got this!" Kiri urged desperately. But he was still hesitant. It wasn't an issue of his own self-confidence, but his career. He was so busy that he would hardly have time for you, and the way Toyomitsu saw it, you deserved to be waited on hand-and-foot.

He dreamed about being with you, which meant his worst nightmare would be a villain or criminal using you as leverage against him. It was best to leave things the way they are. It's what he SHOULD do.

A real Hero isn't so selfish as to put their own desires ahead of the safety of those they cherish, he reminded himself. With a heavy heart, he forced a smile to hide the pain and waved back before looking down at the ground and sighing, eyes closing slowly.

"...I just...can't...

[whythehellnaut]

The secret brilliance behind Nickelodeon All Star Brawl‘s marketing

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the Nickelodeon fighting game after it was announced, progressing from mild interest to ironic excitement to unironic excitement for it.  So many jokes and memes have been made about it that they’re almost impossible to avoid.  But when I thought about it, I realized that that’s exactly what the marketing team for this game wanted.  The idea of the game is so absurd that no one would expect it to exist, but they figured out a way to make absolutely sure that it would create just the right buzz to get people like me to take serious interest in it.

Watching the trailer again, I figured out that every character they picked to showcase in that minute and a half trailer were carefully and strategically chosen to cater to as many people as they could.  Even the order of their appearance had deliberation behind it.  Here are my thoughts:

Michelangelo comes first, establishing that the game is combat focused.  After all, who better to show off first for a fighting game than a character that has already appeared as a playable character in at least two of them?  Plus, the Ninja Turtles are the oldest characters in Nickelodeon’s library when you consider that they first aired in the 80′s, before Nickelodeon even started making cartoons.  This is a character that everyone recognizes, parents included.

Lincoln Loud comes next, a more modern character that adults might not know but kids will.  This is to quickly lure the kids, who have less patience than adults, into watching the rest of the trailer, assuring them that it won’t just be older characters like the turtles that show up.

Powdered Toast Man comes next to snatch up the other side of the equation, the adults/90′s kids who remember him from the original Ren and Stimpy show from 1991.  I’m not sure if it’s still airing as reruns on Nick today, but considering I hear very little about the show online, I’m guessing not.  This is a bit of a surprise to the adults who thought it’d be a kids’ game, so it lures those folks into staying for the rest of the trailer as well.

Sandy is important to show off early for a number of reasons.  Spongebob is popular among kids and Millenials, and is arguably the only property here as well known as Ninja Turtles, so they’re luring in more fans.  It also serves to imply that other Spongebob characters will join, as, even though Sandy’s passion for karate makes total sense for her to appear in a fighting game, you still can’t leave out Spongebob himself.  Showing her first implies more possibilities of characters to come, proving it won’t just be a festival of protagonists like Jump Force was.  It also shows off their female representation to keep women interested.

Patrick is just a fan favorite to get out of the way before the sponge shows up, so he’s only here to confirm that the game is going to be full of characters that people actually want to see.

Oblina was personally a shocker to me, as I barely remember Ahh Real Monsters from my own childhood, but I remember enough to know that she wasn’t the protagonist, necessarily.  I also know it’s relatively obscure in comparison to Spongebob or Ren and Stimpy, so they proved that they are willing to take characters from more obscure shows that the young kids won’t remember.  This solidified my interest as I could tell that they are doing more to cater to the 90s generation than just confirming Powdered Toast Man.

Nigel Thornberry is arguably their most important addition at the halfway point.  Outside of Spongebob characters and maybe Stu Pickles, I would say Nigel is the internet’s favorite Nickelodeon character to use for memes.  The marketing team had to have known this.  After getting some of the core audiences hooked, they now have the memer crowd invested, ready to spread the word about the insanity of this game’s premise across the internet.  This is exactly what happened, and why the trailer has 2 million views on Youtube right now.

Lucy Loud is shown off quickly to remind the younger crowd to keep watching, and to add a little bit more female representation.

Spongebob is shown off a little bit late, but since we were expecting him to show up, it’s just to make sure the casual fans who only know the big names stay watching.

Helga is an older character, but I recently saw a young kid wearing a Hey Arnold tee shirt at the supermarket, so I’m positive it’s being shown as reruns on Nick today, so most Nick fans of all ages will be excited about her.  Moreover, since she came immediately after Spongebob, who is a protagonist that was introduced after Sandy, a side character from his show, it gives an implication that Arnold will also appear.  Although he is not introduced in this trailer, it allows the fans to speculate that he will soon be showcased, perhaps in the next trailer.  Also, she’s the fourth female character shown, confirming that the game is being fair and inclusive to both sexes and not simply catering to male gamers, like say, Jump Force or Dragonball Fighter Z.

Reptar is another shocker, because although Rugrats is very popular and well known throughout the generations, he is a very, very minor character in the show.  He is literally a fictional character within a separate fictional universe.  The marketing team threw him in to show off that just about any character from any Nick property, no matter how minor or obscure, has a chance of making it into this game.  Again, this forces the fans to speculate about future announcements with even more creative thinking, as we now know that it won’t just be major characters joining the fray.

Zim is a well thought out choice because he caters to a specific crowd that I’d describe as the alternative niche.  That is to say, there are people who are fans of Invader Zim who don’t watch other Nick shows, so they are luring in the folks you’d expect to see at Hot Topic and the like.  It was an edgy show with a feel and fanbase unlike other shows of its era, so it’s important to use him to diversify the roster.  They also showed off Gir as his assist, and although that may deconfirm him as playable, it still pleases the fans, who often prefer Gir over Zim.

Danny Phantom is the only character that comes strictly from the 2000s era, so they are making sure to maintain the attention of the teenagers who watched that show as kids.

Leonardo seems like an odd choice to end on, maybe even anticlimactic, since they started with Michelangelo, but it makes sense when you think about it.  They couldn’t show just 1 turtle, or else it might imply that the game’s roster was small.  But if they showed all 4 turtles, they would have needed to leave two other characters out of the trailer to make room for them, and they didn’t want to make it look like a Turtles fighting game with guest characters.  So having exactly 2 turtles allows them to show off enough characters from other properties, while also confirming unofficially that the other turtles would appear later, since you can’t just have 2 of the 4 turtles in the game.  By leaving it open like that, they’re giving an implication that the roster is going to be huge.  So big that the turtles were just a small portion of it.  They end the trailer this way to leave the crowd speculating again: how many characters will appear in total?

The only characters that curiously don’t show up in the trailer are the cast of the Avatar franchise, who are quite popular.  However, one of the stages shown is clearly the Air Temple with Aang’s glider in plain sight, implying that Avatar characters will be announced later.  Another smart move to instill hope in the fans.

Finally, the Rollback Netcode announcement that came afterward solidified a very important group- the serious/competitive gamers.  For those who don’t know, rollback netcode is relatively new technology that speeds up online gameplay to cut down on input lag, which is super important for fighting games in particular, as they rely on strict timing more than other game genres.  It’s so new, however, that not all competitive fighting games use it.  Popular tournament fighters like Super Smash Bros, Tekken, and Dragonball Fighter Z have not implemented rollback netcode for their games yet, so of all games, Nickelodeon All Star Brawl beating them to the punch is causing a stir.  This is a sign that the devs are putting serious effort into making the game enjoyable online, which could potentially help its chances to be taken seriously in competitive settings.  Only time will tell if that truly happens, but it’s a sign of quality, nonetheless.

So ultimately, this short trailer and announcement manage to cater to dang near every crowd that may want to play it: Kids, teenagers, young adults in their 20s and 30s, parents in their 40s, men, women, memers, casual fans, alternative fans, and serious gamers, and opens up a ton of potential for speculation regarding new announcements.  That’s a fantastic way to start off and explains why this game, which for all intents and purposes should have been nothing more than a thought experiment that people joke about in the car with friends, has been trending so much for the past two weeks.  Congrats to the marketing team for what they put together.

[jcmorrigan]

Blakeworther,,,but college

OKAY. I SAW THIS LAST NIGHT AND WAS THINKING ALL THROUGH LAST NIGHT AND THIS MORNING BECAUSE THIS HAD TO BE GOOD

Blakeworther: ORIGINS (hopefully actually canon-compliant?)

-Vincent didn’t want a roommate. But RMU has a policy that unless a first-year has an extreme medical condition that requires them to room alone, they have to double up due to high attendance rates vs. limited dorm space. So unfortunately, Vincent needs to stay in the same room as this “Victor Blake” person he’s never met before and probably won’t like.

-He opens the door to their room on the first day. Victor is already there, decorating his half of the room. And you think Victor is a flirt nowadays? This is a Victor straight out of high school, with lingering teenage hormones. He takes one look at Vincent, gives him a coy smile, and just goes “Hello, beautiful.” And winks.

-Vincent goes “Don’t talk to me” and starts setting up his side of the room.

-Well, that’s rude. Victor tries to engage in conversation a couple more times, but Vincent makes it clear he is NOT HAVING IT, so Victor eventually gives up and pouts. (Vincent really is pretty. But more importantly than that, Victor kind of wanted his roommate to be his friend. That seems like a requirement for the college experience.)

-Oh, well. If they can put up with each other for one (1) year, they can request new roommates for their second year.

-Vincent sets off for his 8 a.m. on the first day. Psychology 101. He gets going at about 7 because he NEEDS to make a statement by getting there first. Back in high school, he was valedictorian, and he must continue to show people how classy, smart, and punctual he is.

-He arrives at the classroom. Seemingly empty. He strides through the door -

-The next thing he knows, he’s on the floor. Someone has screamed. He thinks it’s him. He’s disheveled, his books scattered. What just happened?

-After assessing the situation and going over the split-second incident that is retroactively gelling in his memory, he realizes that he walked through that door, and somebody who was waiting on the other side of the wall, just around the corner and out of sight, leapt out and JUMPSCARED him the moment he walked in.

-He looks up at the perpetrator who stands above him, giggling his ass off. This asshole is wearing a bright pink shirt and he’s admittedly kinda cute but also this was unforgivable.

-Victor: “What the HELL was that for?” Pink Shirt Man: “I knew someone would come along who thought they were first, and I wanted to make it clear this is my territory. I was here for fifteen minutes before you.” Vincent: “Why the HELL were you waiting here for fifteen minutes - “

-He makes a point of gathering up his books VERY ANGRILY and stomping to the furthest corner of the classroom to sit as far away from Pink Shirt as possible. Then glares at him venomously.

-So. A word on Albert. He grew up an only child with very few friends. He’s got a roommate too, but the guy’s an introvert in dark glasses who barely talks, spends like all his time watching anime, and is visibly just scared of Albert. So that friendship is out the window.

-(Yes. It’s Winston. He has not had an easy life.)

-This leaves Albert, who has no idea how to appropriately interact with people but has way too much pent-up energy, trying to figure out how to get people’s attention so he can make friends. But when I say he has no idea, I mean he has NO idea.

-So he sits down in the front row where his stuff was previously and just turns and STARES AT VINCENT until the rest of the class files in. Vincent keeps his eyes turned anywhere but at this Pink Shirt Creep because who stares at somebody over their shoulder for ten solid minutes?

-Albert chalks this up as a victory. Sure, this dude hates him, but that’s more attention than he was getting before!

-For the rest of the class, Vincent is hoping they can just move on and have a normal day in which he knocks every question fired his way out of the park. But that’s not what happens. What happens is this PINK SHIRT ASSHOLE in the front row keeps answering questions without being called on, and not even seriously. With the most MORBID sense of humor.

-Prof: “What are the three ways to study the brain?” Albert: “Smash open the test subject’s skull, rip it out, and have fun.”

-Vincent KNEW the answer was “lesion, stimulation, recording” and he’s so mad.

-He leaves this class grumpy.

-He’s on an alternating schedule, so block A of classes one day, block B the next. His next classes for A day go well and he gets to show off a fair bit of his intellect. But then the last class of block B and it’s art.

-Guess who’s there? Not Victor, unfortunately!

-Vincent walks in the door and THE PINK SHIRT ASSHOLE is there and Albert just waves at him “Hello” and Vincent is in hell.

-Same thing. Albert spends the whole class being obnoxious and annoying, but in a way that gets the other students to laugh. And Vincent just stews.

-Over the next few days, Vincent spends a lot of study time in his room rather than in the library because it’s quieter. Victor respects that Vincent will complain if there’s too much noise and so wears headphones when he’s working because he likes music in the background.

-One day, he accidentally rips the headphone jack out of the laptop and the song he was listening to blares over the dorm. He fixes the volume, already going, “Well, sor-ry for the accident - “

-Vincent: “Actually, I like that song. Have you listened to the album or do you just like it as a standalone?”

-Victor: “I...I saw them in concert, actually.”

-They have the first real conversation they’ve ever had since they moved in together because they ended up liking the same song. And they’re happy to be talking about it. This is good! Maybe they can be friends after all!

-First exam in Psych 101. Vincent feels pretty confident. This is a test he didn’t really put too much effort into studying for because he’s confident he memorized everything from high school. Well...as it turns out, he didn’t. But he fudges it as best he can, sure he’s at least doing better than the simpletons of the class. He’s the only one who takes this seriously, after all.

-Exam results come back, and the prof reveals that he’s graded on a curve. One student and one alone got a 95% on the exam; the rest failed horrendously.

-Vincent is about to rest on his laurels when the prof says “And that person is Albert Krueger.”

-Who the hell is -

-PINK SHIRT ASSHOLE stands up and bows playfully.

-Vincent now has a name for his nemesis. ALBERT KRUEGER. He’ll remember that and not be happy about it.

-So he’s chatting with Victor a lot more now as they hang out. Victor has a problem one day because one of his econ courses has a particularly picky prof who’s failed every single one of his essays to date, and he’s afraid he’s going to actually fail his favorite subject.

-Vincent takes a look at that prof’s notes. To his eyes, it’s easy to see what arbitrary hoops the prof wants Victor to jump through. It’s also easy to see that Victor actually is doing what’s asked of him and grasping the material; the prof just demands these extra trappings, probably as a power trip.

-Vincent knows exactly how to write the next paper to make it fit requirements. And so he says, “If you don’t have a problem with plagiarism, I can get the next one to pass.”

-Victor: “Well, don’t make it too perfect, or they’ll catch on.”

-Vincent writes Victor a solid B- of a paper. And it’s graded with the expected B-. Victor is SO thankful and calls Vincent a genius.

-About time someone around here did. Since it strokes his ego, Vincent offers to do any paper Victor wants for him, free of charge.

-Meanwhile! In art class, they’ve been assigned a midterm visual art project. Vincent can already tell that his piece is...good but not great. You know who’s making a fantastic landscape painting that everyone else in the studio ahhs at every day he works on it? AAAAAALBERT KRUEGER.

-Vincent is trying so hard not to explode.

-Vincent and Victor decide to eat lunch together because they like each other now. They head on down to the cafeteria, load up their plates with food, go to get the last two puddings on the shelf -

-Somebody takes the last two puddings.

-GUESS WHO?

-Albert: “I believe it is they who snooze who must lose.” He didn’t even want two puddings. But while people can get temporarily impressed with his prowess, annoying people is the only way he can REALLY get lasting attention. Most people go “Albert’s painting is so cool!” and leave. Vincent, though? Vincent keeps on making a SCENE out of it and Albert likes that. So he made sure neither Vincent nor Vincent’s friend could have any pudding.

-Vincent and Victor sit down, pudding-less. Victor: “Who was that guy?”

-Vincent explains the whole thing. He rambles for almost the whole lunch period about how much he HATES Albert. Culminating in how he knows that Albert’s art project is going to get highest marks and make Vincent’s look so much worse by its very existence.

-Victor: “You know...I have a plan, but it’s not entirely legal. If you want to get back at him, though...” Vincent: “I’m listening.”

-They break into the locked art studio after hours and RIP ALBERT’S PAINTING INTO SHREDS. That’s, like, twenty hours of work just gone. They leave no evidence.

-The following day, Albert approaches the two of them at lunch: “I know it was you. You can’t lie to me about this. From now on, we are at war. You, Vincent, are my mortal enemy. And you, Vincent’s accomplice, I know were talked into this by him, but you’re on the thinnest of ice.”

-Vincent’s fine with this. Victor thinks it’s funny and doesn’t own up to having come up with the idea.

-Anyway, Vincent and Victor start hanging out more, so when there’s a school dance, they decide to go together. Just as bros, not as PARTNERS what are you even - no. Platonic. Heheheheh

-And they have a good time dancing! Vincent doesn’t normally like this sort of thing, but Victor’s into it, so they’re cutting a rug.

-A small throng of students is gathered in the middle of the floor, watching some spectacle. Victor wants to see what’s going on. So he brings Vincent over.

-Everyone’s watching a particular student just absolutely breakdance with the greatest of skill. And GUESS WHO?

-Vincent enters RAGE MODE

-Victor: “Oh, no, here we go.” (Secretly thinking to himself that Albert did have some sexy moves indeed.)

-Vincent storms in and CHALLENGES ALBERT TO A DANCE-OFF. Albert accepts. Victor calls himself a third competitor so as not to be left out, and Vincent rules that either he or Victor winning will be a victory for Vincent.

-Well, Albert gains more applause by a LANDSLIDE. Vincent and Victor are good dancers, but Albert is FANTASTIC. Vincent complains the rest of the night and Victor’s just “Look, I know he was gorgeous and he got all the attention but please pay attention to me”

-Things continue like this until the next semester, when classes are shuffled and FINALLY Vincent is free of Albert.

-You know who walks in to find Albert just staring creepily at him from the front row of his first class? VICTOR.

-It’s Biology. Right away, the class gets a partner assignment, and the prof sticks Albert and Victor together.

-Might as well make the best of this.

-So they get to just awkwardly chatting. Victor tries to keep himself level-headed. Albert still doesn’t know it was Victor’s idea to destroy his painting. So they’re just playing it cool.

-And...it’s actually kind of fun to talk to one another?

-Albert lets slip that he likes bio a bit better than psych, but everyone’s expecting him to take up the position at Krueger Health Corp. Victor’s just like “So fuck ‘em. Switch majors.”

-Albert then blurts “Have you ever wanted to dismember someone who wronged you?”

-Victor: “Yes. All the time.”

-So for the first time, somebody is giving Albert attention that is NOT rivalry and is NOT just marveling at his talents and antics. This is new. He’s not sure how to handle it.

-For the rest of the semester, Victor is technically on Team Vincent, but he still waves at Albert when they pass on the grounds.

-Vincent and Victor go off campus to a house party with alcohol! Albert doesn’t actually show up to steal the spotlight this time. And...that kinda pisses Vincent off. Where IS he? He usually shows up to these things -

-Victor tells him to pleeeaaaase stop obsessing about Albert, please. (But Victor also kinda wishes he was there and isn’t sure why.)

-Later in the night, some beefy upperclassman starts a fight and threatens Vincent. Vincent and Victor are both buzzed and riled up. Victor jumps in and decks the guy to protect Vincent. The guy decks him right back and HARDER. So Vincent tackles the dude because now HE’S protecting Victor.

-They both end up in the hospital with broken bones. Roommates, again. And when they look at each other across their hospital room, they realize something has changed. That they now know they would defend each other to the death, and each has to repay the loyalty of the other. They’re in this for the long haul, and most certainly not going to request new roommates.

-They get their classwork shipped into the hospital and have some nice calm chats with each other, away from the buzz of student life.

-Albert, however, suddenly has his archnemesis and his lab partner both MISSING and it’s driving him insane. Where are they where are they where are they

-When they get released from the hospital and finally go back to campus, Albert has to refrain from RUNNING UP TO THEM AND HUGGING THEM BOTH. HIS LIFE HAD NO MEANING

-Instead he says “Pity. I’d’ve hoped that you’d die and be out of my hair.”

-Vincent and Victor can’t really admit how much he was the missing piece of their lives either.

-It’s gonna be a few interesting years at RMU.

[horce-divorce]

good news!! my new gastro is FANTASTIC!!!!

i just got back from my appointment and like, first of all, i fucking love this guy, I wish he was my doctor for literally everything because he sat down, made eye contact, LISTENED to me, EXPLAINED EVERYTHING, not only the terms he was using but his own thought process and everything he'd be doing moving forward, drew diagrams?! and validated my concerns... right off the bat, he asked me what I thought it could be, and then actually took that into account (!!!!!). he sent me out of there feeling reassured AND with new information, making sure we were both on the same page first. like, wow. 11/10, the bar previously was on the floor, fucking incredible

ALSO?!?!?!? so this whole visit blew my mind for a few reasons and Ill come back to that... but a few months ago I started getting headaches after I eat, and I wandered down the thought process until I somehow got to, "what if blood flow to my stomach is restricted?" and I immediately shelved that bc 9/10 times if you go to the doctor with that level of advanced query they're suspicious of you. plus they're not gonna look at smth like that until other stuff is ruled out

so anyway the VERY first thing he did was ORDER A SCAN OF MY BLOOD VESSELS!?!?!?!? to make sure that my blood flow to my stomach is all good!!!!!????! he even said 'this isn't a common thing ppl usually think of but I just want to take a look.' I was so blown away by that, wow, i didnt even have to bring it up. like, thank you for my life.

ALSO ALSO, he concluded that everything I complained of was not only potentially consistent w my hernia, but ALSO with cortochondritis- arthritis of the ribs!!! I was SHAKEN when he said that bc like, you dont go to a gastro and expect to hear "oh stomach pain? it's your bones," but I HAVE HYPERMOBILE JOINTS, so as soon as he said that I was like "actually, that tracks. i'm hypermobile" and him and the nurse both shared a knowing look and went "ahh yep." lmfao like hello?!??? its all coming together!!!!

so yeah, I'm very pleased to be getting a look at my blood vessels (& rule out like, gall stones, just to be safe), he wants to do another endoscopy to make sure my hernia doesn't need surgery, and he wants me to address my GERD a little better bc that could also be causing increased/nerve pain in the stomach lining, whoops.

basically at the end of the visit he was like, i'm not gonna say XYZ but here's the information we already have, here's the information we're going to get, you take this knowledge and let it percolate until we can touch base again with the new info. bro 😭 literally every doctor visit should go this way, but the fact that I am so moved by this one (1) time where it did speaks volumes lol. he didn't even make me try any new pills?!?!?!? DO YOU KNOW HOW REFRESHING THAT IS???

he and I agree that we don't really know what's wrong because this COULD be being affected by multiple different things. could the joint pain, stomach issues, dysautonomia, etc. be explained by EDS? possibly (no I didnt bring that up yet, I just think I have a strong case & am building evidence on my own time). they COULD also be affected by numerous things; past OTC/alcohol/caffeine misuse, my hiatal hernia, anxiety, GERD, inflammation in my ribs, or some combination of all of them (hell, it could "just" be that my GERD is worse, causing pain & making my hernia "slip", which could then be getting pinched by my ribs/poor posture and further irritated; maybe if I get my reflux under control and watch my posture it'll stop. wishful thinking idk)

so yeah idk i walked out of there feeling extremely listened to and taken seriously so that's nice. im having much better luck w doctors in Michigan than I have anywhere else previously, my doctors in WI kinda sucked lol