#ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA why i decided to go all out on this one. gotdamn

[mtsodie]

red ones need to shower too

[babyybitchhh]

Thotty Thursday: Part One

There ain’t no goddamn way I could start something like this and not come out swinging with the top dog. The heavy weight champ. My personal creme de la creme. The character who started it all and made me what I am today. That’s right, I blame all this thotty shit on this demon man right here.

“Holy blast from the past, Batman!” You cry out in dismay. “What is this, some 80’s shit!?”

I’ll have you know Yu Yu Hakusho is all 90’s, baby. Just like me. 😤

So let me tell y’all a little bit about my number one husbando. He’s perfect, for starters. Like, I’d challenge you to name one thing Hiei ever did wrong, ever.

You know what, never mind. Let’s not get into that right now.

Okay, I admit my dude has a bit of a harried past and he’s not ever always the nicest but that gives him depth. Range. He CAN go deep and he WILL.

If you catch my drift 👀

So when this bite sized snack was first introduced in the narrative he was all bad. Like bad bad. At just a glance, there was nothing good or redeeming about him and it wasn’t until later that we find out he’s something of a sympathetic antihero.

His moral alliances didn’t matter to eleven year old me one bit tho, this shit had me straight up fantasizing about becoming a ruthless thief and running off to the demon world with the man who literally knocked me on my ass

And when I say literally I don’t mean figurative, haha ironic literally. I mean literally literally

PHEW please believe that I would betray all y’all for even a single night with Hiei, on god 😩

Did i mention he’s a demon yet?

Yeah, in addition to having the super amazing ability to control fire at will, he also has a very ... eye catching transformation. 👁👁

Now, I’ve seen even some die hard fangirls reject this form but it really doesn’t bother me. I actually rather like that particular shade of green and I don’t think it detracts from his good looks - if anything it just adds another layer to the evil mysterious bad boy vibe he’s got going on.

You think I wouldn’t throw my pussy in a circle for him just because he’s covered in eyeballs??

Hah

Think again

However I will say having sex in this form would probably be an awkward affair all around. Not only because having that many eyes impassively staring me down might cause a serious case of stage fright, but also because ... those peepers on his chest bout to get poked out by my titties! 😳

I mean, if he’s into that I won’t put up much of a fight

But I personally can’t imagine having a nipple touch your cornea being a very pleasant experience

Anyway

Can we talk about those gorgeous ruby red eyes on his perfect little face for one gotdamn second please???

I admit, I am weak for a man with red eyes and that’s 100% Hiei’s fault

The only ones that even come close to being as captivating and intense are Senkuu’s (Dr. Stone, for those of you not in the know) but even his don’t hit QUITE as hard as Hiei’s

Can you even begin to imagine how it would feel to have him staring you down in a completely casual setting let alone an intimate one?? 😳

Mark me down as scared AND horny

I especially like how one minute they’ll be sharp, pinpoint dots that just tell you in no uncertain terms he’s out for blood

Which he usually is but that is neither here nor there

And then the next moment, his eyes are huge and taking up half his face

It seems like his eyes are at their biggest and most vulnerable looking whenever his sister is involved (which, for the sake of spoilers on a 25+ year old series I will not go into too much) or when he’s particularly eager about something (usually fighting) OR when someone inexplicably manages to appeal to his emotions. And trust me when I say that is a lot easier said than done

Hiei is one of the toughest eggs to crack in my harem but I like the challenge 😤

He’s not all fire and brimstone (mostly but not entirely) and I know he can lay the pipe like a goddamn CHAMP

I know his dick big, I know it is

That’s why he’s so short. All of his nutritional intake went straight to his cock but I can tell just by looking that he’s slanging some grade A meat. Do not fight me on this. I will throw hands to defend his honor and that is not a joke

I’m a strong enough bitch to stand by him even when he’s getting roasted by the squad. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again.

Ofc that’s not to say he’d just stand there and let them drag him, but the point here is that I’ve got his back and that’s what counts

“But he looks like Vegeta 2.0” you reasonably point out and to that I say “what about it?”

I mean. Can Vegeta do THIS?

I’m just joking, I was a thirsty little slut over Vegeta too

Short king solidarity ✊😤

His height doesn’t even bother me fr fr tho because 1: I’m about 90% sure he’s still growing by demon standards and his sister is also quite short whereas their mother was a normal height 2: I’m also short so it’s not like I’d be towering over him anyway and 3: some men like taking a girl who’s bigger than them and bending her to their will

And when I say he’s an unchallenged top ... Lord have mercy 🥵

Every encounter with him in or out the bed would be a challenge. Every ���� single 👏one 👏

But I believe that with enough patience it’s totally possible to chip away at his mile wide walls and I know for a fact he’d be a great (if not slightly yandereish) lover

Protective in a standoffish way, territorial, demanding, strong enough to carry you in one arm while he slashes demons in half with the other, intensely intimate, just the right amount of Demon Crazy to keep the relationship exciting 🤪

Note I said Demon Crazy and not regular ol’ crazy. There IS a difference

Just whatever you do, don’t let this big eyed baby face fool you

Hiei is not the type to share his toys or let them question who’s in charge. He lacks social finesse in a general sense and his interpersonal skills are ... toeing the negative, to say the least

Plus he’s a demon so his idea of courtship is going to be drastically different from mine. If he decides he wants it then by god he’s gonna take it and I respect that

Tbh I’d anticipate some low key stalking from this dude - the kind that you don’t even notice until it’s much too late and I don’t mean he’d be lingering around every corner or conveniently there each time you turned around. No, that’s too basic for a man like this

Tbh you wouldn’t even know he was there unless he WANTED you to know

You see that third eye he’s sporting?

It gives him telepathic abilities

That’s right. In addition to controlling fire and having a multi eyed form that should appeal to any self respecting monster fucker, he can ALSO read minds

Y’all

If this man had any idea what I was thinking about him ... 😰

He’d probably kill me for the insolence, let’s not lie

But this is MY romantic fantasy and I say fuck that

He’d be able to keep tabs on you at all hours of the day, any time, anywhere - you wouldn’t even be safe from his ever watchful eye(s) while sleeping and though it’s not an ability canon touched on I see absolutely no reason why he couldn’t telepathically slip into your dreams

A nighttime visit from Hiei? Preferably a horny one? 👀 sign me the fuck up

Imagine peacefully sawing some logs and fucking around in dreamland when he suddenly appears before you acting like your very presence is a bother

Then why are you here?? I didn’t ask you to come into my dreams, thank you very much

He responds in kind and his pointed jabs just get you more and more riled up until he finally pounces

Absolutely demolishes the pussy

I’m talking put that kitty in the grave

Then when you wake up the first thing you notice is how slick you are between the thighs

“Must’ve been a crazy dream” you mutter like the dummy thicc bitch you are

But when you look down at your sore wrist, you can see faint, blooming splotches in the shape of fingertips and you realize it was all real

A demon fucked you in your sleep and you enjoyed the hell out of it

“I wonder if he accepts frequent flyer miles” 🤔 

How he finna grab the pussy

Like, hello??? Am I the only one thinking about this stuff??

Yes?

Okay then, damn. Guess I’ll just crawl back into my 90’s, smells like teen spirit cave

It’s quite comfy, actually, thanks in no small part to Hiei keeping it nice and toasty for me

The dick helps too

[uzuuzuking]

so this started out as just a general post about why i like cinderella adaptations, but slowly spiraled into a ranking/review of all the cinderella adaptations i’ve seen in my short, young life. so strap in for possibly the longest post i’ve ever made on this blog. (look, i never know how much i have to say about something until i really get going lmao)

idk why i like cinderella adaptations/remakes/spinoffs so much? most of them are garbage (especially the ones within the last 10 years don’t @ me) but fuck it i like this brand of garbage. it’s fun to watch these movies and rework the bad plotlines and dialogue in my head as i go along.

i guess i like the source material and some of the aspects of all the different adaptations, but honestly i just like re-imagining them because there’s only so much cringey script-written-for-teens-but-clearly-written-by-40-year-old-adults-who-have-no-idea-how-teens-or-even-people-for-that-matter-actually-talk-and-interact i can take in one excruciating sitting.

anyway here’s my personal ranking of all the cinderella adaptations i’ve seen that no one asked for. (not including stage productions because i haven’t seen any and have no opinion of them. also not including into the woods because that’s not just cinderella, but a spectacular amalgamation of fairytale mishap and shenanigan.) and reviews because apparently i had more to say than i originally thought when i first started constructing this list:

cinderella (1997) - the absolute best cinderella adaptation of all time, hands down, this is non-negotiable. this movie has it all: an excellent and diverse cast, gorgeous costume design, beautiful sets, some of the most dazzling dance numbers i ever witnessed when i first watched it at the wee age of 4, and a positive, progressive message that was accurate for its time yet also so ahead of its time. i cannot praise this version of cinderella enough, it is my all time favorite and one of my top 3 feel-good movies. if you watched it today, the effects might not be as magical compared to what we have now, but keep in mind it was released in 1997. anyway, the cast is truly amazing and so effortlessly inclusive (and honestly the fact that the prince was asian with a black mother and white father and they literally never addressed it was such a power move). i could go on about this movie forever (i’ll probably make a whole post dedicated to it in the future) and what it meant to me and many others as young, impressionable poc. in conclusion, this movie set an exceedingly high standard for me and destroyed the chances of any other cinderella adaptation even hoping to live up to that. i love it! so! much!

ever after: a cinderella story (1998) - tbh i never saw this until i was in college but i immediately fell in love. i love the flow of the story as a whole - i never felt like anything was missing. i love the costumes and i especially love how danielle and henry’s relationship progressed throughout the film. slow-burn comes to mind when i watch their interactions and we all love a sweet, sweet slow-burn. it’s romance babes! it’s Dramatic in a few scenes and all i can say is that it really works because drew barrymore’s performance is exceptional, fantastic, engaging, more adjectives to describe how enthralled by her i was. above all, her character is compassionate - she uses her voice to speak in support for those who are suppressed by the flawed government systems and law enforcers, and influences the prince to use his status and power to better his people who lack the privileges of the nobility. she’s such a strong female lead (emotionally and physically - she literally fireman carries her love interest, who is taller than her and definitely exceeds her own bodyweight) and truly the mvp of this adaptation. watch it. watch it for Her.

enchanted (2007) - amy adams and idina menzel - ‘nuff said. okay but for real this one is so unique with its transition from classic d*sney 2D animation style to the real three-dimensional world and i adore it to the ends of the earth. the music? slaps! the story? slaps! the development of the main character? slaps!! she’s so princess-y and d*sney cartoon-y and struggles in the real world, but she adapts at a good pace and i love that she learns to be realistic while also keeping hope and love close to her heart. also her mother figure / daughter figure bond with morgan is so so precious. the only constructive criticism i have for this movie is the fact that we were robbed of idina menzel singing!!! did they know all along she was destined to play the frozen queen years in the future and decided against her singing in this one?? is that it? ridiculous. it’s been over a decade and i’m still seething over this. other than that this movie is *chef’s kiss*

ella enchanted (2004) - anne hathaway’s back must still be hurting from carrying this film. (no shade to the other cast members, they’re good, but anne is a queen and i forever love her.) this is another childhood favorite of mine. the story itself is a refreshing take - hats off to gail carson levine for the source material! i’ve talked about the differences between the movie and book before in the midst of my reread of the book a few months ago, but i don’t remember how much i focused on the movie. it’s so different from the book that it might as well be its own thing. on its own, the movie is pretty decent! again, mostly because of anne. it’s funny, it’s sad (especially that scene towards the beginning between ella and areida, i’m in stupid tears every time), and it gets weird but it’s a fun time. the chemistry between char and ella is so zesty i can feel it through the screen, i swoon over both of them. tbh i probably wouldn’t like this movie so much if not for the fact that anne hathaway is truly talented and i spend most of my time watching it just looking at her. 

cinderella 3: a twist in time (2007) - i genuinely enjoyed and appreciated how the characters were written in this one. they all had clear motives and became much more dynamic through their lines and actions (drizella is arguably the most static character here but she still amuses me so it’s fine i guess). cinderella has more agency since the stakes are higher. prince charming actually has a gotdamn personality and has some of the funniest scenes and dialogue. good for him. i was kind of sad that anastasia’s story with the sweet baker boy was thanos snapped by the stepmother, but she and baker boy get a cute credits illustration together so it’s still canon! maybe i’m more biased on this one because i grew up rewatching it A Lot, but i definitely prefer it to the first and second movies.

cinderella (2000) - this one is kind of weird but i like it? the film has a really interesting vibe that i’m still trying to figure out how to describe even after seeing it like 5 times. wikipedia refers to the aesthetic style as “the glamour of the 1950s” which just might be as close as we can get. it follows the general guidelines of the cinderella plot, but the main differences were: zezolla (cinderella) was already helping with the chores before her father remarried, claudette (stepmother) was actively trying to murder zezolla’s father during their marriage, the stepsisters were much more violent and crass (they hunted zezolla’s beloved farm animals for sport and talked about getting “a man in [their] bed”), zezolla’s father was manipulated by everything claudette did and said and treated his own daughter poorly as a result, and prince valiant is honestly kind of a douchebag but seems willing to improve himself after meeting zezolla (basically his vibes are iffy but he’s willing to learn). this whole movie is pretty niche and i have yet to interact with someone who’s also seen it. and the only reason i’ve seen it so many times is because i just like listening to how the dialogue is delivered. (except for prince valiant’s random song at the ball, i kind of hated that and i skip through it every time lol).

a cinderella story (2004) - the classic hilary duff version. very cliche early 2000s high school romance, but it works for the cinderella narrative. not particularly diverse. a classic nonetheless. in my mind this is the pinnacle of the “modern cinderella movie” type. this is one of the most iconic movies for us zillennials and i’d like to think it’s known well enough for me to not go into a lot of detail about it. basically it was fresh and new for its time, had plenty of memorable scenes, and did i mention hilary duff? the film kind of plays into the “not like other girls” trope - as do a couple of the movies i listed above - but i’m just going to acknowledge that the early 2000s were Wack and simply move on. all in all, i like this movie for the nostalgia, iconic scenes, and hilary duff. also jennifer coolidge is pretty funny as the stepmother.

another cinderella story (2008) - again, an early 2000s classic, but this time with selena gomez. i liked the dancing in this one. i like selena’s quiet, somewhat timid characterization of her character, mary. and jane lynch in the stepmother role is perfection. she’s so fun to watch and is always hilarious. the story is nothing remarkable, but it’s okay and i liked it as a kid. after the hilary duff version, this one still managed to feel fresh because, though it was similar in its modern era approach, it focused more on the performing arts and dance. “cinderella” is an aspiring dancer, rather than the 2004 aspiring scholar. the “prince” is a famous popstar, not a football player. the stepmother is an outdated popstar desperate to stay Hip and Relevant with the kids, not a cranky botox lady. honestly i just love watching this one for the dancing, mary’s genuine and innocent love for the “prince”, and literally everything that comes out of jane lynch’s mouth. that woman is a dialogue gold mine.

a cinderella story: once upon a song (2011) - lucy hale is good. missi pyle is good. they play their roles and lines that they’re given fairly well. over all, it’s entertaining. lucy, of course, has them Pipes and i do like the songs in this movie. the only major downside for me was the “token best friend of color” trope. lucy’s best friend is an asian girl who’s good at sports and is there for one liners and support. the prince charming character’s best friend is a black guy who he only knew for probably a month at the most. he can beatbox, sing, and dj. basically he’s also just there as support. they really don’t do much for the plot but they’re there for diversity and whatnot. this movie is.. fine.

cinderella (1950) - the only reason this ranks so low for me is because i watched it a lot as a child when it was on vhs and it always felt like a fever dream to me. i was just really young and didn’t feel invested in any of the characters. it is a classic, though, and i would watch it again and be able to enjoy it.

cinderella 2: dreams come true (2002) - i liked cinderella’s and anastasia’s stories from this one. jaq’s was meh. it was fine.

dj cinderella or cinderella pop (2019) - netflix knows i like cinderella adaptations so, naturally, they shoved this into my recommended and, naturally, i watched it. twice. which is more than i can say for the following review... so this movie is brazillian and is pretty much the cut & mold of modern cinderella movies. but she wants to be a dj. she stars out living a perfect life as a wealthy girl with a loving family, but turns out her dad is cheating on her mom with his secretary. that’s when she “stops believing in love”. which is actually valid bc if i saw one of my parental figures cheating on the other, i honestly wouldn’t know what to believe in anymore. anyway, cíntia dorella (yes. that’s her full name.) and her mom move into her aunt’s place. a year or so passes. stepmother/secretary/cheating lady is throwing an extravagant birthday party for her daughters and hires freddy prince, a popular musician who cíntia doesn’t really like. meanwhile, cíntia gets a dj gig she’s excited for until she finds out she’s the opener for freddy prince at her stepsisters’ party. she ends up disguising herself as “dj cinderella” and freddy is super into her. it’s pretty generic from there but i was entertained enough to watch it twice. take from that what you will.

cinderella (2015) - ok so we been knew that d*sney’s live action remakes ain’t shit, and this one is no exception. d*sney within the last few years has been like 99% aesthetics and marketing. this movie was visually stunning, especially with the settings and costumes. those were the only 2 things i truly liked. everything else was forgettable. in its defense, i did read a post about the “have courage and be kind” message which is something wonderful to hold onto, especially for anyone in an abusive situation like ella. that’s valid and i respect that. i still lowkey hate this movie tho. i started getting a headache about 4 reviews ago, but remembering how much praise this movie got has reignited my fighting spirit. honestly if you like it, that’s good, you like what you like and that’s that. but this is my review and i hated how proper ella’s posture was (she’s been doing physical labor hunched on the floor for years now, how does she not slump around in exhaustion at the end of the day??), i hated how perfectly curated the whole thing was (again, that’s mostly because of d*sney and their aesthetics), and i hated how hollow everything felt. i can’t perfectly describe it, but i never felt emotionally invested in any of the characters. something about their performance was lacking and yet again i blame d*sney. i actually really like lily james, but something about the way she was directed left me devoid of emotional attachment to ella. i remember nothing about ella’s step family or the prince. that’s how much of an impact this adaptation had on me. also i just remembered the fairy godmother as i type this. i ADORE helena bonham carter, but this movie does a horrible disservice to her. if she liked working on this movie, then i’m happy for her, but even she wasn’t strong enough to sell this to me. i saw this movie in theaters and came out of it lamenting my waste of money that i could have spent on something i would have actually enjoyed. but the thing that enraged me the most, the thing i despised, i detested, the thing i seethed over and rant about to this day was the ONE (1) token black character. i don’t even know if he had a name but he was captain of the guard or some shit. if i remember correctly (but probably not tbh this movie was so forgettable), he was the one who heard ella singing and was the whole reason the prince was able to have her try on the glass slipper. this man, who had zero character development, zero relevance to the plot, an insignificant amount of screen time, is suddenly the reason the main character is able to finally connect with her love interest. um. What. i hate how the writers treated him and i will forever be filled with every last grain of salt over this. anyway he’s my favorite character and everyone else is just eh. to conclude this ungodly long review, i don’t like this movie. i tried to watch it again once but got so bored i quit 10 minutes in. do yourself a favor and watch cinderella (1997) instead. (the only reason this movie is ranked above the remaining 5 is the production quality. but i guess that’s unfair bc d*sney has the big bucks. and maybe i wouldn’t be so harsh if i weren’t sleep deprived and grumpy from a sugar-induced headache, but these feelings still come from my Chest so idk.)

a cinderella story: a christmas wish (2019) - i think we all secretly enjoy christmas-themed movies and this has got to be someone’s guilty pleasure. i was mildly entertained (but again with the cringey dialogue written by people clearly not in high school...) and i do like laura marano. but they autotuned her to hell and back - which i loathed - because the woman can actually sing and she has a lovely voice. she got to sing candidly one (1) time and i relished the experience. my ears thank her beautiful, un-autotuned voice. other than that it was.. fine. i didn’t hate it but i didn’t like it either. laura marano deserves better than this. (can’t say the same for the other actors tho because their roles were unmemorable.) also laura marano was super cute in her elf costume!

not cinderella’s type (2018) - i legit forgot about this one until after i compiled the entire list lol. i saw it on youtube and it was decent as far as i remember. it’s another modern day cinderella. i think the “prince” runs over “cinderella’s” cat or something?? i’m pretty sure it was her mom’s cat so now she has nothing left to remember her mom by. prince boy feels awful and tries to befriend her or do something to make it up to her, but she just doesn’t really like him. i think her aunt and uncle are emotionally abusive to her and prince boy does his best to be there for her without making things worse. if i remember correctly, i liked that aspect of the movie because it’s hard to be there for a victim of any kind of abuse if trying to help them could potentially hurt them more, especially minors still under the care of abusive guardians. anyway i think cinderella girl’s best friend is in love with her or something but she ends up not being into him and slowly gets together with prince boy. she eventually moves out of her guardians’ house and into the spare house at prince boy’s home (he’s rich or something). i need to rewatch this movie tbh i could be wrong about everything here lol.

rags (2012) - not amazing, definitely not memorable because i have nothing to say about its plot or writing, but it has keke palmer which is its one redeeming quality. also it’s the only one on this list where the male protagonist is the cinderella. so that’s solid i guess.

a cinderella story: if the shoe fits (2016) - this was a movie. it happened. i vaguely remember how ridiculous it was and sometimes i felt secondhand embarrassment. i don’t remember what about specifically, but i remember the emotion. sofia carson is a talented singer. i think she’s a decent actor but this script was Bad.

elle: a modern cinderella tale (2010) - i only watched this one because i was bored out of my damn mind and saw it on youtube. i felt bad for all the actors because this script was terrible. i don’t recommend this unless you’re about to sit down with your squad and make fun of it.

apparently descendants is on the “cinderella adaptations and references” list on imdb but i refuse to put it on my list because it’s not a cinderella-specific adaptation and i don’t like the descendants franchise. now, if we’re going to discuss a quality series about the children of fairytale characters, that would hands down be ever after high. but that’s a different topic for a different day.

thus concludes the ranking no one asked for but i felt compelled to make. thank you and goodnight

[cliquestitsandicks]

Tracking Kat

Episode 1: Kat is mourning the end of her relationship with Adena. It has been 5 weeks since the breakup in Paris. She's still looking at old pictures of them and posted one. She still hasn't sent Adena's equipment to her, even though Adena has been texting her asking for it. By the end of the episode, she's admitted to (in order) Alex, Patrick, and Jane & Sutton that she is not okay. She is still sad about the end of her relationship. Alex tells her "you're so hard on yourself. You got your heart broken. There's no expiration date on heartbreak. You move on when you're ready to move on and when you *are* ready, you will find someone amazing. Someone who will never leave." Then Patrick is an entitled, invasive dick. She told her girls she wasn't ready for it to be real yet and that's why she hadn't told them... but she broke down in front of them. She'd finally accepted it was over. End of the episode, she makes an instagram post exposing her vulnerability to the world and packs up Adena's things for good.

Episode 2: Kat injects Jane for fertility treatment. She is very familiar with Jane's reproductive system at this point - best friends. She learns the Wild Susan, a club Adena took her to that became a safe space she frequents and which happens to be 1 of only TWO lesbian bars in the city, is closing. She learns the only reason it's happening is because developers want to gentrify the neighborhood. We learn Kat has a lawyer (not sure how that may come up later) that she met through the #BeReal campaign. Anyway, Kat throws a queer prom as a fundraiser to help save the Wild Susan. It ultimately fails because $42,000 in one night from poor people is a bit much. But it was a valiant effort and, as Kat learns, the gentrifiers were well aware of its impossibility. This episode is leading up to her political career. "I've been so into my feelings lately, it feels really good to challenge my energy into something that really matters". I am so proud of Kat. In Season 1, I would have worried she was avoiding her feelings, but the writers made a big deal of showing she's done the exact opposite of that in the prior episode.

Episode 3: Kat has been researching councilman Reynolds and he's a total piece of shit - helping gentrifiers, cutting funding to parks, and voting against paid maternity leave. She's fired up. Our girl is P A S S I O N A T E & informed! We meet the councilwoman for whom she plans to volunteer and her campaign manager, Tia. Tia's a tiny, bubbly boss with natural hair and a bright smile and we see Kat brighten up. We later learn she and Kat have more in common, both being NYU grads (actually overlapping while there) and both brilliant. Tia, however, is not from a wealthy and connected background. In their initial meeting, Kat tells Tia "I'm just looking for something to channel my rage and depression". Kat enlists her besties to help get the councilwoman to unseat problematic Reynolds. Sutton clearly sees something between Kat and Tia because she does a friend's background check (checking the social media) and tells Kat she looks very single to which Kat responds "it really doesn't matter because I'm still getting over Adena" and Jane seems skeptical of Kat's protestations with her silent smirk. We learn Kat has really soft lips. Kat is the voice of reason for Alex, being the first one to acknowledge the hypersexual "dangerous" Black man depiction that will likely be projected onto him if he admits he is the man in his friend's story. Then we see her naturally command the crowd at the rally. Again, I am so proud of Kat. She isn't holding back when she knows she should speak up. She's taking control of her narrative. She's fighting for what's right in a constructive manner. And now Tia, who has way more experience with this than Kat, is recommending she run for office.

Episode 4: We start the episode with Kat describing what would be her district and job description to her best friends. She's looking excited about the potential to do something that matters and really help people. In her conversation with the Toby (?. don't know, don't care), we get to see more of Tia being supportive of Kat and Kat being confronted with whether she's motivated to actually run or just wants someone to beat Reynolds. We learn Kat had an abortion in 2013 when she was 20 AS IS HER GOTDAMN RIGHT BECAUSE IT'S HER BODY, but it's something she's felt some sort of shame/concern over seeing as nobody close to her knew about it. Then, and this is so great, after telling her friends she has the conversation with Tia. Tia shares that she's had one as well and completely understands not wanting it to be public knowledge, but in sharing her experience educates Kat on yet another way vulnerable people are having their rights stripped, this time through manipulation and "crisis centers" that shouldn't exist. Tia remains supportive and doesn't pressure Kat at all with her decision. "I am by your side if they come for you, but you gotta do what's right for you". When we get that great speech from Jacqueline we see Kat being moved my the statement that you'll never know what you're capable of if you don't take a leap faith to face challenges that frighten you, then you'll never know what you're capable of. [i'd like to pause right now to say Jacqueline is fucking wonderful and i love her like my white auntie. also Sutton needed to hear that again just as much as Kat and i really appreciate this entire moment.] When Kat leaves Jacqueline's celebration, she passes by one of those "crisis centers" Tia told her about and decides to use her voice to help others. "I like to think of myself as a pretty strong, empowered, forward-thinking, open-minded woman. But, up until now, I haven't been able to talk about my abortion. If me putting myself out there helps even one woman to feel less alone, less ashamed, and less guilty then it's worth it." And just like us, dear Tia is blown away. She actually exhales a breath she didn't know she was holding and biiiiiiiitch (!!!! excitedly). and then they're dancing! This is the episode, upon rewatch, when i recognize how often Tia touches Kat unnecessarily.

Episode 5: Kat's entire recap includes Tia, ending with Sutton saying "she seems to be very single". Her very first scene, Tia is complimenting her walking out of some campaigning event we later learn was a Town Hall. Can we just talk about Kat's blazer for a second? First of all, i want it. Second, how did they find something so perfectly her? It's colorful but still semi-professional, fun, but still about her business. Heart-eye inducing. ok. So the next time we see Kat, she and Tia (whose last name they finally mention as Clayton) are reviewing campaign platform and doing debate prep at Kat's apartment. Tia's complimenting Kat almost continuously at this point. Clearly she's impressed, borderline gushing. and Kat tries to brush it off. Tia's not letting her. And there's this moment when Tia forces herself to break eye contact with her (around 5:40 of the episode). The show tells us Kat still hasn't dated since Adena, but Sutton brings up the "stupid smile" she gets whenever Tia's mentioned. She's making better decisions than Patrick and her being compared to Patrick is lowkey happening a lot. I'm starting to wonder if they're setting up Kat taking over digital if she doesn't win the campaign. Ok, the song choice as they pan to Kat and Tia... "I never normally check my phone 10 times in a minute. I'm not the girl to be kept on hold 10 miles from the finish." Again, Tia is very touchy with Kat, never anything inappropriate of course, but the hand is always on the back or the arm. and their interaction is just.. lovely. I squeal. it's so cute. they're so comfortable. Kat invites Tia to the dinner BEFORE (i got the timing on that mixed up before) Tia says she's "a boring straight girl" [the test determined that was a LIE... nah, my good sis Tia is dealing with some internalized homophobia which is no joking matter, but we don't learn that until the next episode]. Apparently, Kat can cook now? So she just liked Adena's food better i guess? idk... anyway. I get why some of the things Tia said can be taken as flirting, but i still believe that you accept what someone says is their sexuality until they say otherwise. yes, that's even when they're saying things like "when i see what i want, i go for it" and "Annndd she can cook. it's hot" and looking at you like that. Kat telling Jane to apologize because he's her boss and she got suuuper disrespectful and would absolutely deserve getting fired makes me proud. She's the mature friend now. She's the one with a level head on her shoulders. Kat finally makes her feelings known to Tia, but this is after Tia has already stated she's straight. Tia reiterates that this is a professional relationship and apologizes for Kat getting the wrong idea. I'm reminded of when Alex Danvers told Maggie Sawyer she was into her and she was rejected... but in that example i was floored and heartbroken for Alex because ugh, i just didn't see that coming. With this, however, it felt like Tia was clear in her words even if it shocked the hell out of me what the words were. So i didn't feel heartbroken for Kat. I thought... tbh... she brought it on herself for refusing to respect Tia's "no", however soft it was. But the writers did let us know it wasn't over with the music selection... Kat looking at "You and Tia make a great team :)" as "I'll go to war for you" plays.

Episode 6: All the emails have been released and Kat has no worries at all about that because she's a professional. And we get to see her be a boss addressing the entire group. Patrick isn't there this episode (YAY for our sanity!) and i think Kat being a boss so often when Patrick isn't around is intentional. When we see Tia, she says last night is forgotten but she thinks it's a bad idea to remain Kat's campaign manager... which is clearly a hard rejection. One can argue that it's too harsh for someone merely admitting they were into you. But it's just as easy to argue that it's appropriate after telling someone, very clearly, that you are not into them romantically and them ignoring that and saying that you were flirting with them on this date they never called a date before you were already there?? so i'm not mad at it. At the end of the episode, we find out that Tia was rejecting herself, not Kat. Turns out, Ms. Tia Clayton has known she's attracted to women since she was in high school, but she "didn't want to want it". Tia is so TINY AND ANXIOUS ABOUT HER SEXUALITY AND MANY OF US HAVE BEEN THERE. But... and i say this in jest... for someone who is really trying not to be out in the open with her gay, she sure was comfortable kissing Kat all outdoors for anyone to see. My good sis is smitten. I'm excited for the story. Again with the music during their scenes though... "I cannot fallll in love with youuuuu. I cannot feeeeel this way so soon, so soon." Also, my girlfriend and I have watched the gifset of the kiss over the phone and swooned (we live in different states for now). This episode, we also got the flashbacks (i missed Lauren so much). Kat's got red streaks in her hair, is a friend to strangers, has regrettable sex with men who taste like pickles, and is cute as a button. She also called Jacqueline "Mama Jackie" and that's it; that's her name now.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Pizza Hut vs. Domino's vs. Papa John's: Trash Pizza, ranked

You can learn a lot about a person based on where they fall in life's big debates: Coke vs. Pepsi, Triscuit vs. Wheat Thins, Taylor Swift vs. Katy Perry.

But there is one question that is perhaps the most decisive, the most controversial, the most revealing of what type of person you are: What is your favorite Trash Pizza?

SEE ALSO: This baby trying pizza for the first time is the essence of joy

Let's get this out of the way — pizza is a gotdamn national treasure.

If I had a Personal Brand™, it would be pizza. I frequently wear a pizza sweater, which matches my pizza bow tie, which matches my "pizza fund" change jar on my desk at work, which one time, I cashed out and got $71 for pizza.  Every year for Christmas I ask for "pizza and/or pizza related items," which is how I now have a pizza-shaped phone charger. And I used to have a Friday night ritual where I would grab a bottle of wine, a book, and eat a whole pizza by myself in bed while reading. (Helpful tips for how you too can live your best pizza life here.)

But the beauty of pizza is that there are so many types of pizza. There are good pizzas for when you want to feed your body and Trash Pizzas — that cheap, greasy goodness — for when you want to feed your soul. And the Trash Pizzas are the best.

But with so many types of Trash Pizzas out there, which one reigns supreme? Domino's? Pizza Hut? Papa John's? 

Let's settle the score. Here are your favorite Trash Pizzas, ranked.

8. Last place, the worst Trash Pizza: Little Caesars

Story time, folks. One time, when I was in college, I went to my friend's St. Patrick's Day party, which was probably bad idea #1 given that, overall, I didn't drink very much when I was in college. Because this was a college party where the name of the game was get the most alcohol for the cheapest price, people were drinking this concoction where you put a whole bunch of beer in a bucket, spike that with liquor, and then throw in edible glitter so it sparkles. (Bad idea #2)

I wish I could say I looked into that bucket and said "lol there's no way I'm putting that into my body," but, dear reader, I did not say that. I drank that drink, which in hindsight, might have been literal poison. Somehow, in a very surprisingly, totally unforeseeable turn of events based on the safe and mature choices I was making, I got drunk. Like incredibly drunk. Like so drunk out of my mind that I decided it would be a good idea for me to pick up Little Caesars on the way home.

And let me tell you, friends, that was NOT a good choice. I have a very distinct memory of sitting down at home, pulling up the first episode of Lost on Netflix, taking a bite of that Little Caesars pizza and thinking "Wow, this shit is not edible."

That's how bad Little Caesars is. It's the clear loser of the Trash Pizzas.

7. Those heat lamp pizzas they have at gas stations sometimes

Public service announcement: Gas station pizzas are a trap! 

In my wayward youth, I have been ensnared by the weird allure of gas station pizza. Why? Because they look so much better than everything else in a gas station. They're like a prize to be won. After you pass the register, go through aisles of motor oil and other car goods, skip over the combos, there, shining under a bright heat lamp, perhaps rotating gently, is the gas station pizza.

But it's all a ruse, like those beautiful outdoor lamps that attract insects and electrocutes them. A gas station pizza will ruin your life. Unless you want to soon be spending 20-30 minutes in a gas station bathroom, avoid the gas station pizza. 

(They're still better than Little Caesars tho.)

6. Hot Pocket Pizzas

Lol! Nope!

Jim Gaffigan has said everything you need to know about hot pockets.

5. The little pizzas that come in Lunchables

Let's be clear from the start: those pizzas that come in Lunchables are not good. They're tiny so they aren't filling, the "cheese" only tastes like salt, and literally what is that tomato paste they put in a pouch and call pizza sauce?

And yet those gross lil' Lunchables pizzas have a fond place in my heart. They feel like a nostalgic relic from my childhood, a rite of passage that made me the person I am today. And if you rolled up to lunch in your first grade cafeteria with a Mega Deep Dish Lunchable pizza, you were basically a god for the day. God bless Lunchable pizzas.

4. DiGiorno

DiGiorno pizza is solidly middle of the pack. It's not the worst. It's not the best. It just is. But here's the thing about DiGiorno pizza: it's work. 

DiGiorno's whole pitch is it's there when you want it. "It's not delivery. It's DiGiorno." But if you read between the lines, what they're really saying is "make the gotdamn pizza yourself." So then you have to pre-heat the oven, bake your pizza for 20 minutes, sometimes the cheese drips and you have to clean your oven grill, then you have to grab dishes, and then you eat your pizza and it's not even good. AND WHO WANTS TO DO THAT WORK FOR BAD PIZZA? Literally no one.

The Venn diagram of when I want Trash Pizza and when I want to pre-heat an oven feature completely separate circles. Those two feelings never intersect.

I don't want to have to work for my Trash Pizza. I want someone to hand me a box and say "stuff this in your face."

3rd Place: Domino's

It might be controversial that Domino's appears in the middle of this list since, according to a very scientific study featuring 45 votes and conducted by my friend and colleague Damon Beres, Domino's is the best pizza.

Which is better

— Damon Beres ✨ (@dlberes) February 15, 2018

But everyone is wrong. Domino's is trash. And not in the good way. In terms of flavor, Domino's is fine. It's not great and not the worst, it's just fine. To be totally honest, it tastes mostly like grease, like all proper Trash Pizzas should.

However, we need to talk about that crust.

The default Domino's pizza crust is their "hand-tossed" pizza crust, which is "garlic-seasoned, with a rich, buttery taste." No, I'm not buying it. What they've really done is taken a gross pizza and then made it bougie. (Don't start actin' all brand new, Domino's.)

The major crime with the crust is that their garlic "seasoning" is grainy and falls off everywhere, which makes a huge mess.  It's the Hansel and Gretel of pizza — it leaves a trail of crumbs wherever it goes, WHICH IS NOT HOW A PIZZA SHOULD WORK. Domino's has taken the concept of pizza, which is a handheld affair, and transformed it into a more complicated endeavor.

That's some bull -ish, Domino's.

2nd Place: Papa John's

Papa John's used to be my favorite Trash Pizza, which may be surprising because Papa John's is objectively bad pizza. I openly acknowledge that. In fact, when I did eat it, I called it "pizza product" or "imitation pizza." But the thing about Papa John's is that it is the perfect vehicle for grease and of course, their butter garlic sauce. And that butter garlic sauce is magic. (Side note, have you noticed that the sauce comes in two different consistencies, a creamy sauce and an oily sauce? It's so wildly inconsistent which makes the garlic sauce feel like a game every time you order.)

It's some type of alchemy. The butter garlic sauce is bad. The pizza is bad. But put them together and they are the best damn trash pizza experience you can find. Whenever I ate a Papa John's pizza, I felt like I could physically feel my heart slowing in my body. It was fucking great.

But I stopped ordering Papa John's because papa John is a bad man. And though he is no longer the CEO of Papa John's, his business cannot have my dollars anymore. 

The Winner, the best Trash Pizza: Pizza Hut

Everybody sleeps on Pizza Hut and it's absolutely tragic. 

Pizza Hut gave us stuffed crust pizza, arguably the greatest innovation in pizza history. You take a pizza and its crust and then YOU PUT MORE CHEESE IN IT. Tbh, I am surprised that whoever thought of that idea didn't win a Nobel Prize.

And who can forget Pizza Hut's BOOK IT! program, which gave children free pizzas in exchange for reading books. 

Listen, I get it. Pizza Hut pizza is NOT great. Nobody says, "you know what I want right now. A Pizza Hut pizza." And Pizza Hut knows that, so they leaned into that brand. Why else would you stuff hotdogs onto the end of a pizza. Why else would you partner with Taco Bell to create the promised land of trash food, the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell. 

Pizza Hut knows it's trash so it turned everything surrounding the pizza great so that you can have the best possible Trash Pizza experience for as little money as possible. And for that reason, Pizza Hut is top of the list.

WATCH: These smart sneakers can order pizza and pause TV

[aviationfiction]

Thoughts on Seven and Eight;

Okay so why can I totally relate to when Autumn and Andreas first met? I’ve had moments like that when you look at somebody or they look at you and you just feel this sense of beauty surround you. It’s like a moment of vulnerability that hits you like a ton of bricks and stops you cold. However, I’m noticing quickly that Andreas seems to blame Autumn for his own lack of self control. He knew it was wrong to be messing with a girl so young (despite her legality), yet he’s making it seem like she was the puppetmaster in everything. It’s a bit of a cop out if I’ve ever seen one. He’s a grown man and should take responsibility for what he decided to do. He gave her his number, not the other way around, so I find issue with him shaming her when they argued in the past.

Absolutely. A lot of us can relate to that moment when you see someone and sparks just fly. It’s not just unrealistic movie scenario or some romance novel. It happens. She set her eyes on that man it just shifted everything for her. It had never happened before, so the hunger to pursue this man who evoked so much emotion and even lust with her, is absolutely understandable. We all tend to explore what makes us curious or we try to understand what caused the curiosity in the first place. The thing is, he places so much blame upon her, when he too decided to explore his own curiosity. The attraction was there on his end as well. I’m sure Autumn wasn’t the only woman who admired him or even pursued him, so why’d he chose her to respond to? He did so because he wanted to explore her as well. She didn’t put peer pressure on him nor did she seduce him. She may have been young minded and there’s no denying that he did play into that, which caused her to fall even harder. His excuses are invalid and yet another terrible depiction of her from his end. They were in it together. He may have no had feelings that were as strong as hers, but his feelings were there.

It really pained me when Autumn couldn’t answer Dr. Jill’s question about what she felt Andreas loved about her - I just feel so bad for her and it kind of upsets me how she really revolved her life around this man only for him to desert her. I want so much more for her because I know there’s so much more. The fact that she even blames herself for this separation is just heartbreaking. And I feel even worse that I got Shane and Andreas confused - now that I know who Shane was I can see why she’s even more within her sorrow. Losing a family member can be devastating, but he seemed to be so kind and caring and attentive, it was a greater loss with that in mind. But I appreciate Glen being there for her on Shane’s death anniversary, though. It reinforces the idea of the connection that has formed between he and Autumn.

She lost track of that. Slowly but surely their marriage and love began to dismantle and she couldn’t figure out what to do or what it is about herself that he loves so much that she may be able to enhance in an effort to make him stay. When your husband mentally checks out of your marriage and then eventually, physically does so, that’s going to take a major hit at your self esteem. Autumn began to wonder what didn’t she do correctly. Is she no longer attractive? Is the sex bad? Is the appeal no longer there? Is she not smart enough? Interesting enough? It became an “what did I do wrong” state of mind for her and it’s still that way.

Losing her brother was literally her losing her best friend. Heather has that title but her brother came before Heather in that aspect. They were inseparable and closer than ever. She went to him for and about everything and vise versa. Losing him left her devastated and she lost him in the midst of her losing her marriage. It broke her.

And I wanna be so mad at Issac but he didn’t tell one lie while they were talking. This is one of those moments where is brutal honesty is actually needed. Autumn might just have to bite that bullet and get a lawyer because the odds are too stacked against her. With the world we live in she’d have nothing without some type of degree - she’d have to stay home and get more money for tuition if she went back to school anyway. I want to be upset that Issac is being so crass on such a sensitive day for her, but I want my baby to be well. She might need a kick in the ass or two and I see that Issac is going to be the one to give it to her. I know she feels offended by what he said but she’s gotta see things for what they are - Andreas will leave her with nothing if she doesn’t get in tune with her reality.

Issac does drop gems on her every now and then because he wants her to figure herself out and to find some direction. Autumn lost herself into a man and now she’s trying to claw her way out of that hole. She doesn’t have anything. She left school, she became a housewife, and she didn’t do anything within those six years to put herself in a better position all for the sake of her own individuality. She became stagnant all for the sake of being there for Andreas and now she’s left by herself to figure it out. She’s going to have to start over and he’s trying to push into doing so in the proper manner. If she doesn’t have a successful settlement with Andreas, she’s going to run into financial trouble unless her family carries her until she can afford to do so herself. We’ll just have to see how that works out.

Autumn’s problem with Issac is, he’s living in a glass house and throwing stones. He may be successful and financially set well beyond the needed means, but he has his flaws and he’s done some things that aren’t his proudest moments much like she has. She doesn’t throw that in his face the way he throws her marital issues and lack of success into hers.

Also, can Matt be punched in his gotdamned mouth? He is so annoying and such a snide little thing, I cannot stand him at all. At least Camille is hip to the game, although I can’t entirely give her props because she allows it. Then again, there’s probably no real scolding of the St. James men. They have vicious tongues as we’ve already seen time and time again. As for this ‘act’ that Dante speaks of, I really want to know what the real situation is. It could possibly have to do with infidelity or a question of paternity, but I’m not entirely sure yet. I’m just curious the more time this family spends together.

Matthew is his father’s son. They’re very much a like in the way that they handle things and the way that they speak to Dante. Dante’s the poised one of the family. He’s nothing like any of them personality wise, which is why he often feels like the black sheep. This is also why he tends to keep in mind what separates them and makes their family so damn dysfunctional.

But I see Autumn went ahead and took the job, which is a good thing - it could give her experience and help her maybe move up in the company if she can impress Issac enough with her performance! Of course, there’s the tiny part of me who’s just glad she gets to be around Dante. And I KNEW she had something similar to a stroke. But I got so sad reading about Dante’s uncle and grandmother. So much familial loss and it seems to be repeating himself. Dante has to take care of himself or he might suffer a similar fate. But I like how he tried to make Autumn feel more comfortable and that he could tell she was nervous and apprehensive. Most people wouldn’t even care. I’m so excited now. I want them to be friends so bad.

Yeah, she needs to get her feet wet and get back out in the world. She could use the experience and she needs to do something to get herself together. She spent two years in recovery because of what she went through health wise and because of the death of her brother. She needs to figure out a lot more about this thing we call life.

Dante’s so in tune with what it means to just be a human being. He doesn’t use the power that he has to intimidate or go against people. He never wants people to feel inferior to him which is why he treats the people he encounters with high regard and respect, unless they don’t give him the same in return. Just because Autumn works for him doesn’t mean that he should treat her as if she’s beneath him or as this disposable employee. He wanted her to be comfortable and settled around him. He didn’t want her to feel like she had to watch her step, watch what she says, or be very mindful of how she behaves around him. He just wanted her to feel as normal as he wants to feel.