#ABRTL

[i-am-gun-robot]

Forgot to post this here, whoops! Chapter 14 is up.

[i-am-gun-robot]

This is such a valid post, I hope my addition doesn't come off as dismissive at all because I totally get what you're saying and it is upsetting! Jim's sacrifice hits hard and it hurts.

I do want to add my own two cents though, and it's a little personal (TW for body dysphoria and mental illness) so heads up if you want to skip this one!

Jim gave up a lot during his sacrifice, but I am a firm believer in the idea that he is still himself inside (which you've already stated in your post). He gave up human things, such as what he used to eat, being able to go to school, being in the sunlight - and that is a massive tragedy, and much more. I agree with you in the sense that Jim isn't who he once was, but I do think every trait that made up human Jim is still there as troll Jim, there's just additional traits that overshadow it for us viewers because the trollish aspects are so foreign to us in Jim. I think Jim would feel the same - he gives off major dysphoric vibes with not only his body and its needs, but also the new thoughts and feelings he's experiencing.

And that's where things get exciting for me. Because I've dealt with body dysphoria (not in a gender way, but in a puberty way), and it sucks. I hated my body for a long time, especially as a teen, and for me puberty just exacerbated my mental illnesses, so like Jim, I felt disconnected from my body and mind. I didn't look like "me", I didn't act like "me", all I could do was cling on to what my loved ones told me: that I am still myself, I'm just a newer version, a growing version. Its taken me a long time to feel comfortable as myself, and I still search a lot for 'identity' markers. But the thing is, identity is fluid, and we are all meant to change.

Who we are at heart can stay the same, but very few of us can say we look and act the same as we did when we were 16. Human Jim will always be treasured by his loved ones, that I can say for certain. But you're right, who he becomes will be who they remember him for most, and while that is scary, it's also beautiful - Jim is growing into himself!

I think that's the crux of why I love troll Jim so much - there's so much potential there for growth. Could he have grown as a human? Yes! Was Merlin's potion completely unnecessary? Also yes! But to me Jim's transformation mirrors my own, and I'm sure many others', and that is precious to me.

That said, I do want to circle back and reiterate that Jim's sacrifice still hit me right in the heart, and it's worth mourning. It's okay to mourn what we lose, or rather, who we were before we grow - it's important to. But I think that change is also worth being celebrated, if that resonates with you.

Forgetting Jim...

I just thought of something that really makes me sad…now that Jim is a troll, will they forget what he was like as a human? I know he’s technically both, but let’s face it, there is very very little resemblance to human Jim in his half-and-half form. Even his personality has undergone some understandable changes, though at his heart he is the same.

It’s an established fact that over time, we as humans forget details, even about the ones we love, especially if they’re no longer around. And Merlin blatantly states that “There is no Jim.” Jim as a human? He’s gone for good. He is forever changed, and if he has the lifespan of a troll now…well… 

It’s just really kinda heartbreaking to think that Blinky, Claire, Toby, etc. will start to forget human Jim. Like imagine if one day, for whatever reason, they’re in Arcadia and come across a picture of Jim when he was human. And Claire, or Blinky, or even Jim himself, is just like “Wow, I forgot that’s what I was like.”

They’ll forget what his smile was like. That he used to sound different (though I know that’s the Grave Sand’s doing, not Merlin’s). They’ll forget how skinny his legs were (ha ha). They’ll probably forget what his favorite foods were. There are so many tiny, yet significant things that will be lost to time.

And what really worries me? If enough time were to pass, assuming he can live for centuries, once his human loved ones are gone, what if the trolls forget he ever was human? Like, I’m sure they’ll know it as a fact, but what if they forget the reality of it? What if Jim’s abilities and accomplishments as a troll completely overshadows everything he did before he ever was one? What if they forget the enormity of what he lost, what he sacrificed, in order to save two worlds?

Idk if anyone else will find this as sad as I do, but human Jim to me was such a wonderful wonderful character. I loved him so much, and it still hurts that he was eradicated. As much as I love new troll Jim, I just don’t think I’ll ever fully be over what we lost.

[annhallow87]

Mis primos 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 https://www.instagram.com/p/CKaSA-ABRtl/?igshid=1d5a0xqxel90h

[i-am-gun-robot]

Chapter 13 of ABRTL is up, at long last! Thanks to everyone for your patience :)

[i-am-gun-robot]

GO FOLLOW MY LITTLE BROTHER HE'S AWESOME!!

Morgana's apprentice.°•☆

Oh my god it's a troll hunters oc let's go guys, LETS GO!!

I feel obligated to say because otherwise he would't fit in the story very well, this oc is heavily based off of my sister's AU/fanfic :) !! The fanfic is called "A Brief Reliving of Troll Lore" and it's on ao3 :D

My sister has a Tumblr too!! Here!!

[i-am-gun-robot]

Chapter 11 is up! Things are going to be a little different after this chapter >:) Make sure to check the notes at the end for a little announcement!

[i-am-gun-robot]

Chapter 12 is up! Hope you enjoy :)

[i-am-gun-robot]

Getting close to finishing chapter 11 for Abrtl. I'm around 7k in - about 2k of which has been written for over a year - and have probably 1k-2k to go. It's so exciting to make real progress quickly again, I finally feel like I have direction for what I'm writing and I'm enjoying the process again. Most of chapter 10 was a slog to write, especially because I've been so excited to get to the next part of the story.

[i-am-gun-robot]

Surprise! Happy Halloween :)

[i-am-gun-robot]

Little update on A Brief Reliving of Troll Lore and also just my life - surprise, surprise, I haven't been able to write. I had to check in to a mental health center for 30 days, so I did not have access to my laptop or phone to write. I'm doing much better now, and I'm hoping to get back on the wagon soon, but it may be February before I'm able to post chapter 13.

[i-am-gun-robot]

It’s fine to take your time with asks, real life happens!

But now, a random ask for you- how tall do you think Troll Jim is? In the episode where Jim fought Draal, it was revealed that as a human he was around 5”5, 5”6? As troll he grew like a foot, so around 6”6? Seven feet? Point is he’s a tall boi, but I can’t tell how tall exactly. It doesn’t help that the show is wildly inconsistent with height differences between characters. 🤔 (Side note- how tall do you think Claire is? I find the height difference between her and Troll Jim kind of adorable 😆)

It’s kind of funny- in your fic people (troll and human) keep referring to Troll Jim as small and skinny, when by human standards Troll Jim is stupidly tall and reasonably muscular! The wonders of perspective, I suppose! Though he’s roughly Blinky’s height- maybe a little shorter- so is Blinky considered short for a troll? Would Angor Rot, Strickler, and Nomura (as well as others of her troll species)- trolls with a more slender build- be considered skinny by other trolls?

Real life sure did happen, thanks so much for your patience!

That's a great question! I didn't have a definitive headcanon for this, until I remembered this post, which puts him at roughly 7'5. Whoof! Makes you realize just how tall trolls are, lmao. The show being inconsistent definitely doesn't help, but I tend to measure him based off when he and Blinky are talking to each other on the roof in Jimhunters. That would make Jim slightly shorter than Deya, who's a few inches taller than Blinky if I'm remembering correctly.

Based on Claire's mugshot from the movie-that-must-not-be-named, she's roughly 5'4, which puts her at almost exactly 2 feet shorter than Troll Jim. Their height difference is so stinkin cute!!

Perspective makes a huge difference! I would definitely consider Blinky to be short for a troll, at least in a broad sense (he was also quite short for a human, when he was transformed). It more has to do with what trolls consider an ideal body type, and what human’s preconceived notions about trolls are. There’s tons of diversity in height for trolls, from the little troll that carries drinks in the bar in trollmarket to Gatto - but I think what is considered ‘average’ height for bipedal trolls is close to AAARRRGGHH’s height when he’s on all fours. In troll culture, size and strength seem to be idealized, so taller, bulkier trolls are ‘normal’, and shorter, thinner trolls are ‘unusual’, when in reality there’s lot’s of both. For the humans, trolls are these scary, man-eating monsters, so the large ones make sense, and the small ones must be runts or something (Camelot is no stranger to kidnapping young trolls, either). But to answer your question very wordily, yes, I think Angor, Strickler, and Nomura would all be considered skinny or scrawny!

[i-am-gun-robot]

Chapter 10 of Abrtl is going to be delayed a week or two. My family and I are in the process of moving halfway across the country, and I have less time and energy to work on the fic. It'll be up eventually, it just may be a bit!

[i-am-gun-robot]

Chapter 9 is up! Jim thinks a lot, and kicks some butt. Claire and Callista are both given heart attacks, but for different reasons.

[i-am-gun-robot]

So I was re-reading your troll aging headcanons and came across the term “bond-mate” a few times. And it got me thinking- what are your headcanons about troll relationships? Courting/dating, what constitutes as flirting for trolls, marriages, do they have a concept of a girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. Bond-mate is the troll equivalent of a husband/wife/partner, I assume?

We already know in canon trolls don’t have kissing (or “face-smooshing,” as Draal would put it 😂). Although, I read a fic once that had the really cute idea that the troll-equivalent of kissing was rubbing noses together.

OKAY TIME FOR HEADCANONS GALORE

So trolls and romance! As you guessed, being 'bond-mates' is the troll equivalent of being married. Trolls mate for life - and they live for a very long time - so dating/courting is a very important step for them and can last centuries. Flirting is rarely done for any other reason than to initiate courting/dating. Flirting can take lots of shapes and forms, but it's mostly shown through actions rather than words. A flirting troll will get into the personal space of the troll they fancy, will come up with excuses to touch them (sparring is a popular choice), they'll spend as much time as possible in their presence. Posturing and scent plays a big role in this - all of those activities can be strictly platonic or familial as well. Trolls will release a musky or sweet smell (depending on gender) to communicate flirtation. If the affections of the flirting troll is reciprocated, then the process of courting begins.

Courting is very similar to how humans date. The courting trolls will spend a lot of time together, do fun activities, share burdens, talk and get to know each other, etc. As things get more serious, trolls may get more physical with each other (more on that later), they may spend more time in the other troll's dwelling, and they will start making decisions as a unit rather than individuals. If this continues to go well, eventually, it will transition into being bond-mates. There isn't really a ceremony to celebrate this, it's just something natural that happens. The two trolls scents will mix, they'll live with each other, and potentially have a family (this is not an expectation for bonded trolls, just a possibility).

Bonds can be broken, if the trolls grow apart, but it is rare and seen as a great tragedy. Bonds are a special thing that typically happen once in a lifetime for trolls.

Okay, now about physical stuff! Imma put it under the cut since I mention intimacy, but it certainly won't be explicit or descriptive in any way shape or form.

Okay, I don't think trolls have sex. (DUN DUN DUN!)

We know they reproduce by cutting a piece of stone from each partner and putting it in heartstone (I think this was confirmed somewhere?? or maybe I made it up IDK). It's possible they are still capable of having sex (y'know, gronknuts), but I think they don't prefer to and have little use for it.

HOWEVER. I do think they have ways of being romantically physically close. I adore the idea of rubbing noses being like kissing, I'm totally stealing that! I think cuddling and grooming are other ways they express their love. Holding onto each other (like a hand on the other's neck or back as they walk) is another expression. Mostly though, bondmates are a life partner.

OKAY that was a lot, hopefully that answers some of your questions (and wasn't too gross lol)!

[i-am-gun-robot]

So since trolls have little heartstones in their bodies kinda like a human heart , does this means that jim as a half troll half human has both of them ? A heart pumping blood on the left and a heartstone in the middle

I think it would be cool for him to have boths kinds of hearts cause its kinda like having one feet in the human world and another in the troll world ( weird metaphor i know)

Especially if that granted some extra resilience like if his human heart gets stabbed ( that got dark ) his troll heart picks up in the slack in keeping him alive till the human one heals

Or if he got deprived of heartsone energy for to long his human heart could pick up the slack in keeping him alive and healthy if he has access to enough food

Okay, but THIS!

I had to consider it for a minute, because I had always sort of thought of half-troll Jim as having mostly human physiology internally, and more troll-like physiology externally. But if that was the case, then why would he want troll food, or like being near a heartstone, etc? So YES, now I definitely headcanon him having one, just like... a smol one. After I figure out my headcanons for troll anatomy/physiology, I'll have to decide how Jim works within that!

And lmao, you're playing a dangerous game tempting me with angst ideas like that!

[i-am-gun-robot]

Correct me if wrong , but im pretty sure at some point of the story like in chapter 3/4 deya mentioned that trollmarkets like dwoza trollmarket doenst accept refugees that escaped from arthur cause they attract gumm-gumms , and im wondering why

Is it because those trolls refugees are the most likely to be sucessfuly recruited cause they suffered the most at arthur/camelot treatment ?

Gumm-Gumms are definitely eager to recruit more trolls to their tribe, and isolated, bitter trolls are easy targets. They wouldn't necessarily follow escapees all the way to Dwoza, though - that would be pretty far out of the way for them for one or two trolls. Dwoza is far more concerned with humans finding their dwelling. After all, there's a reason they call Callista 'the calamity'.