#ABBA IS INDEED AWESOME

[quinngefail]

Ms. quinnge, is it weird I've never been inside a Walmart? what is it like in there? I've only ever seen it in videos or mentioned in passing looks very sad and also kinda smelly

LMAO. Well it is indeed very sad and smelly.

Now everything I talk about could be met with BUT THAT'S JUST EVERY GROCERY STORE of course. But these are just consistent things that I've noticed in the Walmart I work at lmao

-Understaffed areas. But also I do not blame anyone for never seeking employment here

-It's frequently busy as hell :)

-Meandering people. Oh my god. This shit drives me up the wall

-We love the bitches who just leave their carts in the middle of the fucking aisles so no one can get past them 🫶

-Aisles and shelves in general just tend to be a fucking mess. Some areas are consistently worse than others though lmao

-The produce aisle...... 🗿🗿🗿

Gamers I am on my hands and knees begging. BEGGING people to not buy their produce from Walmart orz orz orz

The amount of rotten, moldy shit I've encountered is just. UGGHGHHHH

-Soooo many epic and awesome shirts and hats and tattoos and such, especially with election season happening..... I've seen at least two people with the fucking 2nd amendment tattooed on their bodies and so many cool shirts with very cool things on them 👌

-Walmart..... RADIO!!!! (The HOME OF THE CHRIS SHOW, KIRBY GWEN AND FRIENDS!! AAAND THE BO SHOW 🤪)

-I've bitched about the music remixes + mashups already. And now they don't play them every day it seems, but when they do. Ohhhhghhh my god

Just to copy + paste my thoughts from a very recent post because it's relevant:

Would actually like to know whoever the hell it is that puts those fuck ass song mashups together. Gamers I cannot adequately put into words how fucking bad they sound, especially when I'm on hour six of a shift and just want to go home

What if we took this chorus from this ABBA song...... But put the guitar to Sweet Child O' Mine behind it, and with the grace of trying to mash the square shape into the triangle hole 🤔🤔🤔 Ermmm would that go freaking epic awesomesauce or what!!!

Hint: no it fucking wouldn't

-A lot of shit will just be broken and/or unusable lmao. It's cool

-Screaming, wailing children :) And y’know it seems to consistently happen where if I'm already getting overwhelmed and stressed and shit, a crying child will spawn on the map which is so awesome 😩

...Those are some of the biggest things that come to mind HRKGGKGK.,, It's truly a spectacle that is just So Very American. And I promise you don't ever need to actually experience it for yourself lmao

In short. Sad and stinky indeed

[cathyl-washere]

Hey gamers, this is my first actual post here.

Minors should maybe not be here if only for the odd NSFW post, so here's your warning if that's a concern of yours.

Bit of a length warning I suppose? I ramble a bit, but it's my pinned so I guess now's the time.

As my blurb says and avatar implies, I'm a 20 year-old transfem, working with she/her pronouns currently. I'm generally kind of hesitant to really talk about myself to strangers or to even say something in the first place, even when it's just to the void like I have been since I started here about a month and a half ago. You may recall my mentioning that this is my first actual post, or have noticed that I've only tagged like, 2 of my reblogs at time of writing. I'm trying to get out there a bit more which is why I'm even making this, but if I take some time to reply to a pm or whatever, know that there's this on top of anything irl. Also I have a tendency to write in a way as though I were actually talking, so apologies for any overuse of commas or really long sentences. Trying to be mindful of this way of writing myself though.

Should say that whatever eldritch critter lords over us all gave me the delightful combo of being able to remember a bunch of absolutely bizarre and incredibly niche things about whatever while also forgetting it all when it miraculously becomes useful. You may be familiar with the "Spirit of the Staircase?" Gamer, you're looking at her. I mention this to say that despite the length of some of the later parts, they're still not exhaustive.

I've also got into the habit of referring to people as gamers because it has that wonderful combo of being both gender-neutral and oddly funny to me. Not in a demeaning way, my sense of humor has just kind of veered into nonsense.

On that note, I should also mention that I myself have committed a cardinal sin and am indeed, a gamer. Platforms I'm on are Playstation and Switch. PC gaming is unfortunately out of my purview currently. I prefer PvE generally but also don't mind pwning some children if the vibes are there. Hope you have your bingo card ready because yes, Celeste is my favorite game. I have WAY too much time into Warframe and I like Dead by Daylight, Deep Rock Galactic, Risk of Rain 2/Returns, and Slay the Spire quite a bit. Tragically I've been a gamer for a while, so I'm just naming a few of my main ones right now while totally not ignoring a sizeable backlog, no sirree!

Music is also a bit of a vibes thing. Generally more of a fan of less intense songs, which may be an odd thing to follow up on by saying prog rock's also pretty cool. Longer a song is, the better is my usual take. City pop's also superb, language barrier be damned. Vaporwave's awesome. Born and raised on the rock of the 70's and 80's with parents that rarely listened to anything after Kurt Cobain rose to power for most of my younger years, so a good chunk of that has worked its way into my playlist. Video game music has a tendency to be wonderful to my ears as well. Solar Ash, both Risk of Rains (although yes, I lean towards the second + DLC here), Night in the Woods, songs from several of the Persona series (Layer Cake, Beneath the Mask - Rain and both versions of Specialist, oh my!), a few from Warframe and of course, the titular Celeste. Lena really is just something else, and I think I can say with some confidence that Quiet and Falling is just my favorite song generally. It does have some competition, so in no particular order I'll rattle some off: Anri's Shyness Boy, Depeche Mode's Enjoy the Silence (primarily the Hands and Feet Mix version), Hall and Oates' Out of Touch, Mac Demarco's Freaking out the Neighborhood, ABBA's Dancing Queen, Yoko Takahashi's The Cruel Angel's Thesis, Prince's Little Red Corvette, Kensuke Ushio's Crybaby, Jane Pop's Drive to 1980 Love, Shakatak's Bitch to the Boys, Komm Susser Todd from End of Evangelion, Mystical Composer by Momoko Kikuchi, Love don't come Easy by The New Jersey Connection, Once in a Lullaby by Chris Christodoulou, No Tengo Dinero - Maxi by Righeira, Seaside by Dan Mason, In your Eyes by Peter Gabriel, Dress Down by Kaoru Akimoto, Radio Ga-Ga by Queen, Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie, and this list is getting kind of long, huh? God, music is just so freakin' awesome. Truly, one of my biggest regrets will be that I didn't hear enough of it. Band-wise, I'll mention I quite like Steely Dan, Chappell Roan, Yves Tumor, Casiopea, 1986 Omega Tribe, Car Seat Headrest, The Comet is Coming (loving Hyper-Dimensional Expansion Beam right now), Dan Mason, Mitch Murder, Desired, Nyarons, Seycara Orchestral, Shakatak, Ibrahim, OSC, Both Jack Stauber and his Micropop, Prince, Queen, Junko Ohashi, Anri, Meatloaf, Gorillaz, Night Tempo, City Girl, Yes, PKCH, Chris Christodoulou, Cape Coral, Tupperwave, Oresama, Weird Al (EBAY in particular will forever take up some of my brain space at any given moment) and good ol' Lena Raine. While we're here, I guess the one album I'll mention is Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of the War of the Worlds. Make sure it's the original though, some of the songs were revamped in recent years and personally I'm not partial to that rendition of them.

If you inferred that I might like some anime given the above section has quite a few Japanese artists then yes, your intuition was correct. I have fallen off of it recently, but stuff like Neon Genesis Evangelion, Cowboy Bebop, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Mob Psycho, and My Life With Monster Girls are some that I enjoy.

Romantically, I'd say I'm into women. We're entering kind of weird territory for me here though because while I would quite like a romantic partner and someone to cuddle with, I'm kind of not so sure how keen I am on any actual sex? Half of me wonders if I'm just asexual while the other half wonders if it might actually be a case of finding the proper someone. I don't know, it's very much uncharted territory for me and I'm not sure where I'll end up on it. Also the whole "finally accepting that I'm trans" thing probably has its influence somewhere in there.

Politically, just give people stuff. Meet their basic needs, implement a UBI, make it so that every grandparent has a bottomless jar of sweets for the wee ones. Public transport good, cars bad, Golf is actively terrible in multiple ways. Chuck bricks at cops, detonate an oil rig (in Minecraft, I guess), eat the rich, the usual. Ideally, mix the three. Abortions and contraception are healthcare, and alongside education all should be free. Kill the cop in your head, both in the sense that if you saw someone shoplift, no you didn't and that you don't have to impose yourself on people just having some earnest, unconventional fun. These are some of my viewpoints, but I'm hesitant to try and pin myself down with a specific position due to a lack of having really read well, any greater political works, still needing to flatten some views I've kind of just had seep into me from the greater culture ("But is x really the proper thing" is tragically a constant, but I've needed to quash the Devil's Advocate voice in my head for years at this point. The little bastard never truly seems to leave. Yeah, having a little gremlin constantly try and check my thoughts can be handy now and then, but it gets really annoying when I think about topics like how the death penalty shouldn't be a thing because like, what are you doing here you idiot? Don't let your personal misgivings with a person allow for executions), and honestly a little because I need to try and be firmer as a person. I put a lot more stock into the thoughts of others than my own, and sometimes it's tough to remember that me and my thoughts also have value, whatever that looks like. Is that the best thing to just type aloud? Also don't hit your kids, regardless of circumstance.

Uhhh got to say I'm blanking a bit on what else to put in. Closing remarks now I suppose. Life is fucking awesome, and I mean that to apply to most-every instance of it. We're all just here on our queer little blogs having a time with one another, and isn't that wonderful? The past 5 years or so have been terrible mentally for me with a few really bad months in particular this year, but I finally feel like I'm on the up-and-up. Accepting that I'm trans after repressing it for a while, finally cutting off a bad friend (hopefully for good), working on getting HRT. With any luck, I'll have some patches in my hands soon. That's huge for me, not only in the obvious sense but because my brain somehow twisted itself into thinking that I can't take this whole topic seriously outside of hair growth and shaving facial hair until I actually get some form of HRT into my hands, AND IT'S HAPPENING! AAAAHHH!!! I'm moving into the next chapter of my life after being kind of stagnant for a while, and I've had such a wonderful vigor these past few weeks that I haven't known in ages. I've really embraced an appreciation of what others might consider mundane, and just trying to be a bit goofy. Letting things roll off of me, even if the anxiety tends to really weaken my legs and make me nauseous. I stay silly. The horrors may persist, but so do I. So do you. How lovely.

Also,

[auliasbookcorner]

Review: The Winners (Beartown #3) by Fredrik Backman

Book 18 of 2022

Start Reading Time: 16 November 2022

Finish reading Time: 26 November 2022

Page Count: 671 Pages

TRIGGER WARNINGS: RAPE, VIOLENCE, GUN VIOLENCE, MURDER, GRIEF, SUICIDE

This is the spoiler-free part of the review. I will put up a spoiler alert before going into the review that contains spoilers.

HERE WE GO AGAIN WITH THE WORST BOOK HANGOVER IN A WHILE.

This hurts too much to touch with words, indeed. (It should be a fucking warning on the book cover) And that's another quote that has the power to instantly destroy me mentally.

I haven't been this devastated because of a book since A Little Life and The Hero of Ages, so naturally, this book automatically gets a five stars from me. I needed 5 days to recover from this book, where I do nothing but sleep and cry while listening to The Winner Takes It All by ABBA, and think about Benji.

I am so emotionally drained. Remember how I said I felt like a shell of myself after I finished reading The Hero of Ages? Well, I didn't expect to experience it again this soon. But I guess, it's just an indication of a good book series, that the ending has such a powerful effect on you after you first finish reading it.

First of all, before we go into the review, I'd like to thank Backman for dedicating this book to me. I mean, he's kind of describes me perfectly (and it feels a little like a read too) when he wrote:

"To you who talk too much and sing too loud and cry too often and love something in life more than you should."

When I first read it, I was like 😱😱😱 OMG this dedication is for meeee!!! IT'S ME, HI, I'M THE ONE THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO, IT'S MEEEE.

I mean, If that's not me, I don't know what I am. So, thank you, Backman, I felt so seen and you just made my year with that book dedication because this is one of my favorite book trilogy of all time, and this book is my favorite read this year.

Now, here's the non-spoilery review: To say that Backman stick the landing with this book is an understatement, I honestly think with every book in this series, the story becomes bigger and better, and what a great first trilogy for him, I'm so excited for his next book series. I am aware that I have more criticisms in my review of Us Against You (Book 2) than Beartown (Book 1), but I also still love it very much, as it explores so much more about the town and the characters that I have come to love and care about very, very much. Yes, Beartown can be read as a standalone, and it would be a great standalone read all by itself, but I personally think that Us Against You and The Winners have added so much more to the story and make it so much richer, especially for the fans of Backman's works like myself, and I am so grateful that he made it into a trilogy like it is now, because imagine if there's book 2 and three for his other awesome books like Britt-Marie Was Here or Anxious People. I would lose my freaking mind.

I know I'm very much in the minority with this opinion, as I have found that a lot of the criticisms of this book by other people is that it was too long and that there are parts that should be cut from the book, but I honestly feel that one of the best things about this book (and there are a lot, as I will explain later in this review) is that it's THICC and much longer than Backman's previous books. Well, I disagree with those people. I personally don't think that there's any part that should be cut from the book, in fact, I think there are some things that should be added and included in the book, and if that makes this book even thicc-er, the so be it, I don't care if I'm the only soul in the whole world who thinks this. I have always been a lover of big thicc books, and I always will be. The thicc-er the book, the better for me.

I mean, did Backman wreck me with this book? Yes. Yes, he most certainly did. But, oh boy, am I beyond happy that this is so much longer than all of his other books so far.  I pray that Backman will make his books longer from now on, and may all his books have no less than 1000 pages, AMEN. But I'll still read his books even if they're short though. Listen, I'll take what I can get.

Awesome authors like Backman, Sanderson, RF Kuang, Hanya Yanagihara, and Khaled Hosseini should only write long books, IMO. It should be a crime for great stories and books to be read so briefly.

Having said that, I feel like Backman kinda cheated because even though there are more pages in this book, the chapters are way shorter than the previous books. I mean, there are so many short chapters in this book, and many of them are scary foreshadowing of the events that are about to happen, and they make my anxiety goes 📈📈📈. Especially that first chapter about Benji. It was fucking brutal, if anybody wants to hurt me mentally, just show me that chapter, and I will be hyperventilating and sobbing in a second.

However, this book has exceeded all of my expectations. Yes, it did wreck me mentally, but there's also still so much joy and happiness in it, which makes it all the more harder to move on from this book. Because if you're gonna shatter me, at least give me a few moments of happiness first.

The cast of characters also grew bigger in this book, which stumped me at first, because it's not as if the first two books don't  already have a large cast of characters in them. But I'll just go ahead and get attached to even more characters, I guess. Whatever you wanna do, Fredrik. But it paid off, I think, because the new characters added new and much needed perspectives to the story. Now, we won't only care about the people of Beartown, but also the people of Hed.

There is so much light and darkness in this book that I think Backman fairly focused on the contrasting hues of the two vastly different sides of some of the things that are being mentioned in this book. There's happiness, but there's also heartbreak. There are deaths, but also newborns. There are losers, and there are winners. For every ending, there's a new beginning. And sometimes, the same thing happened to two different people, and the outcome of that same thing ended up being completely different. As Ramona said in the book, “Two of everything, one we see and one we don’t, an upside and a downside,” Sometimes we get one thing and other times we get the other, and it's all just a part of life. Reading about it in this book makes me want to appreciate both the upside and the downside in life, which is just the outcome that's expected from reading the Philosopher King's book.

I don't think I need to mention this, as it has already been well known how much I love Backman's style of writing, but I just need to mention how I think Backman just becomes better and better with every book he releases. To this day I don't think there's anyone who writes about human emotions and human connection as good as Backman. And I think that the initial title of this book, which is "Those Who Run Towards Fire" fits this book so much better, now after knowing the content of the book, but I get that The Winners is a catchier title, and I don't have any problem with that. But now just hearing or reading those words gives me the chills and the feels, man. (Also, it reminds me of my boy Spook/Lestibournes in The Hero of Ages of Mistborn trilogy, The Survivor of The Flames himself, because he literally run inside a burning building to save a town from burning down)

WARNING: SOME SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Speaking of people who run towards fire, let's talk about Benji. I did know that Benji's going to die in this book, since Backman has given it away since Beartown and Us Against You, and it feels like he has been preparing us for it since Beartown. So, I think we all BEEN KNEW about Benji's death in this book. But, guess what, I was STILL DEVASTATED when IT happened. I swear to God, when I got to THAT scene, I was legit like:

It was pure pain and devastation. "This hurts too much to touch with words" is accurate because it REALLY is. I could babble on and on for hours about how painful it was, but no words could adequately represent how shattered I was when I was reading it. But I understand why Backman has to kill him off, though I was afraid at first as it seems to be feeding off of the Bury Your Gays trope, but it's really not, and you have to understand Benji's character to know how he had to die the way he did in this book. It was so fucking hard, but I accepted it and hope that now he can be in peace, somewhere in heavens with Ramona, Vidar, Ann-Katrin and maybe even his dad. And it is so right that this trilogy is ending after his death, because he really is at the heart of it.

Overall, this book is gorgeous, it made me cry and laugh and sob and reflect. It's gut-wrenching, but it's also a beautiful ending to this much beloved trilogy. Now that all three books are released, and I have finished all three of them, I can safely say that this trilogy is solid and definitely one of my favorite of all time. It's bittersweet to say goodbye to not only this trilogy, but also one of my comfort characters. As much as I want this book series to last forever, I know I need to let it go for now. Nothing gold can stay, Frost says. But I can always visit Beartown again in the future. Now, how do I get out of this book hangover?

BOOK SUMMARY:

It's two years after that tragic night, where the violence between Beartown and Hed reached its peak, and took one incredible young man's life. Beartown and Hed had been in truce since then, and no violence occurred between the two towns. Benji has left Beartown to travel abroad and find out who he could be without hockey, in many new places where he doesn't know a soul. Maya left Beartown to study music in the big city that made her realize just how small and remote her town actually is, in comparison. She's still fighting her demons that she got ever since that night Kevin took away her youth and her chances of living a carefree life in which she can drink at a friend's party without having to worry if she's getting too drunk that someone might rape her while she was intoxicated. She still calls Ana from time to time, but their friendship is not as it used to be.

Meanwhile, back in Beartown, The Beartown Hockey team keeps winning game after game, thanks to Amat, who is now the star player of the team, and Hed seem to be losing game after game. Along with Beartown Hockey Team's success, comes the sponsorship, and investors who are going to bring development and business to the town, while there are rumors that the Hed hockey club is going to be closed down. It's the exact opposite of what happened two years ago. However, there are rumors going around that Amat is faking his injuries, he was absent from many hockey games and cost the club the championship, because he kept getting drunk. He was doing amazing at the beginning that he was able to carry the team to finals for the first time in a long while for Beartown hockey club. However, suddenly Amat started missing games, the team soon started losing and in the end they lost the championship. Amat also went to the US for the NHL draft, but he did not get drafted and he'd been staying in his house all day since then.

Ana is recovering from a knee injury that she got after she kicked a guy who said that girls can't kick properly. Bobo is now working as an assistant coach to Zackell. Peter is still working for Kira at her hugely successful law firm, but it did not mend their strained marriage like Peter hoped it would, two years ago. Things may not be as good as we wanted it to be, but the people of Beartown are known to be strong and resilient. And that's a good thing, because a storm is happening and it's bringing chaos and changes with it.

Two remarkable things happened during the storm, someone we love passed away in their sleep, and a pregnant woman was about to give birth to a baby, but she was stuck in the car with her husband on their way to the hospital, because of the storm. Someone from Hed would have to work together with someone from Beartown to help the woman deliver her baby.

Another remarkable thing that happened during the storm is that the hockey rink in Hed collapsed due to the storm. Some business man from Beartown will take advantage of this, which will cause the rivalry between the two towns to reach new highs that will cost them dearly.

The funeral would bring Maya and Benji home, and the old gang's back together once again in Beartown. We would later hope they didn't.

The people of Beartown mourn the passing of someone we love, but they will do it again so unexpectedly soon, and the death would make them evaluate their collective failure as a community that led to said loss. Can the people of Beartown and Hed weather the storm?

🚨 SPOILER ALERT 🚨

From this point forward in the review, I will mention spoilers, plot twist and the ending. So, if you don’t wish to be spoiled, you can skip the rest of the review and come back to this review once you’ve finished reading this book.

So... let's talk about it…

THE CONTRASTING THEME: LIFE-DEATH, AND TWO VASTLY DIFFERENT SIDES OF THE SAME COIN. I sensed a really strong theme of the contrasting of two different things in this book. First is about life and death. When Ramona died during the storm, Vidar (the baby that Ana and Hannah helped deliver) was born. When Benji and Matteo died, a set of twin babies were born into the world in a hospital in Hed.

Sidenote, and this is not in the theme, but notice how all three of the tragic deaths, Ruth's, Matteo's and Benji's, all described the same way: they died before they hit the floor.

Both Maya and Ruth were raped, one happened not long after the other, one happened in Beartown and the other in Hed, but the outcome of these two cases are so vastly different. Ruth died after abusing drugs and alcohol, while Maya survived, though she's still battling the PTSD from that night, but she's thriving in the big city, she's enrolled in a music school, and she'll go on living and become a successful and famous singer. The difference between these two girls is the support from their own family, friends and community. Maya was blessed with a family and friends who believed her, and fought for her justice, while Ruth's family didn't. Amazing how much difference a good support system can make on a person's well being.

Matteo and Leo also had such contrasting endings, even though they're so similar in so many ways. They're the same age, they both love video games, they both felt the rage for what happened to their sisters, they both felt helpless, not knowing what to do with all of their rage, but they both felt the need to act on it. We know how in Us Against You, Leo joined The Pack, but then his family stopped him from being involved in the violence and danger, while Matteo had no one to protect him from doing the stupid things he did in this book, as his parents are both mentally checked out from reality, and no one stepped up to care for him, thus he felt invisible in his town. I feel like guys like Teemu, Vidar and a lot of guys from the pack were able to grow up to be somewhat "decent" guys (debatable, I know, but at least they protect the weak and each other, and they never hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it) because at least they had a parental figure in Ramona, or each other, who would later be their support system. Who knows how they would have turned out to be if they never had Ramona or each other. Again, what difference a good support system can make.

I really like this theme and I applaud Backman for including this theme in the book, because as he stated in the book, most rape survivors don't have it as good of an outcome as Maya, and there are so many people with stories like Ruth's out there in the world. And same thing for Leo and Matteo's case. I think the message is clear, that every one, especially if they're still children, need good familial support system, and how we need to step up for our community and be kind to each other, check up on one another, so no one would have felt invisible, or not heard, or not believed.

IT'S ABOUT REDEMPTION. I know that this is the final installment to the trilogy, so Backman might want to end it with everyone having character development and growth, but I feel like everyone got a redemption arc in this book, except for Ruth's rapist. Tails got a redemption arc with him helping Peter with "The Cathedral", Lev got a redemption arc when he helped Ana staged an alibi for his father, Richard Theo helped Kira bury the story on Bearton Hockey's corruption, even Ruth and Matteo's parents got a redemption arc with all of their charity works.

I think the theme of redemption is very easily felt in the book, especially in the last part of the book, with the whole "Cathedral" thing that Peter, Tails and Kira are doing with the new ice rink in The Hollows, Kira's new law firm, and everything Lev and Matteo's parents did. I feel this quote accurately represents that theme in the book:

"It’s that sort of town, where everything can change and the people can be transformed. Where we find the strength to play even though our lungs are screaming. Possibly because we’re used to withstanding the darkness, both inside and outside. Possibly because we live close to wilderness. But perhaps most of all because, just like everyone else in every other place: If we don’t have tomorrow, what’s the alternative?"

This theme reminds me of this Backman quote from Anxious People about forgiveness and redemption:

“They say that a person’s personality is the sum of their experiences. But that isn’t true, at least not entirely, because if our past was all that defined us, we’d never be able to put up with ourselves. We need to be allowed to convince ourselves that we’re more than the mistakes we made yesterday. That we are all of our next choices, too, all of our tomorrows.”

Maybe that's the main moral message that Backman is trying to tell the readers with this trilogy, that people fuck up all the time, whether it was done with intent or not, as long as we're alive, we still have a chance to make up and repent for our mistakes. That's why sports, or more specifically in this trilogy, hockey, is the main theme of the trilogy, because as Backman wrote in the final chapter of this book:

"It’s easy to love hockey then, because hockey isn’t the past, it isn’t yesterday, it’s always next. The next change of line, the next game, the next season, the next generation, the next magical moment when something we didn’t think was possible becomes a miracle. The next chance to fly up from your seat and yell with joy. Next."

And from that quote, I took it to mean that for all of us, the most important step is the next step, no matter how you fuck up in the past, it's all about how you make up for it in the present. Your next action is the most important one.

THE HOCKEY CORRUPTION STORY. I feel iffy that the story on corruption in Beartown is buried, even though I absolutely love Peter, and I hate the way it all happened, but most of all because it involves Richard Theo, I just hate how it's being buried. My conscience is screaming at me that it's so wrong, just because I love Peter and don't want him to go to jail because he was just being used by Tails, doesn't mean that the truth should not be exposed, and they can deal with the outcome in court maybe.

Also, the sentiment about moral and ethical standards, being expressed in the book via Kira's law business partner, that when it involves our own family and the people we love, all of our moral and ethical standards go out the window, I think it's kind of hypocritical.

"“Do you think I’m doing the wrong thing? In purely moral terms? Defending Peter like this?”

“You know, Kira, all my thoughts about morals and ethics boil down to one single thing: not if it concerns your family. You can have a thousand principles, but not if it concerns your family. That’s what you protect first and foremost, above morals, even above the law. Family first. You’re loads of things, but you’re a mother first. A wife first.”"

I know, it's easier said than done, but I'd like to think that I would hold the same moral and ethical standards I have towards other people with my own family too. Because I trust other people to do the same towards their own family too. I don't know, I think there's debates to be had about it, and maybe when tested in real life, I would share the same sentiment as Kira's colleague, but theoretically and ideally speaking, the sentiment is hypocritical.

Also, even though the journalist is publishing the expose on the council members' corruption may bring the citizens of Hed and Beartown together, I think the two towns would still have the rivalry for years to come.

TAILS. Boy oh boy, do I hate him. He was okay in Beartown (book 1), and irritating at worst in book 2, but in this book you just can't help but hate him, and if you disagree we can't be friends.

I mean, the AUDACITY of this guy, he had A LOT of nerve making the tragedy that is the storm to benefit him, his politics, Beartown and its hockey club. How is this guy not the villain here? And I can't believe it's taken us three books to find out how rotten he really is.

He's just the the absolute dumb-ass for making Peter responsible for his corrupt hockey politics, even though he may not had the sinister intent of making Peter the scapegoat for his corruptions. And I don't like that in the end he gets to redeem himself by helping Peter build the Ice Rink or "The Cathedral" in The Hollows, but whatever. Maybe it's just my petty ass, but if I were Peter I would probably cut him out of my life for good.

HANNAH AND JOHNNY BEING KIRA AND PETER 2.0, OR HED VERSION OF KIRA AND PETER. I guess they're sweet and couple goals too, and I think that Johnny is funnier than Peter, but I'm already too invested with the Anderssons. Another family like them being introduced to the story this late in the trilogy just can't compare to the OG one. I like their family, don't get me wrong, I like Hannah and Johnny as well as all of the children, I found each and everyone of them to be very interesting characters, but unfortunately we just have not spend that much time with them to care about them that much. But I appreciate that they represent the Hed's perspective, though.

The best things about this book for me are...

BENJAMIN OVICH. The official guardian angel of Beartown. The heart and soul of this trilogy. He IS, and always will be my comfort character. All I wanted for him in this book is to be happy, and to finally read about him being happy in this book is truly everything, it's definitely worth the wait, and what a joy it was to read. It's so so good to read about Benji being happy, that I want to inject it into my veins. And as much as I hate that he's killed off at the end, in a way I'm also glad because in this book he seemed to be the most contented we've ever known him. Also, he died the way he lived: protecting other people. We all know how in Beartown (Book 1) he had protected Kevin in and out of the ice all throughout their friendship until the rape, then in Us Against You (Book 2) he protected Leo, and in this book he died protecting Alicia. Because that's just the kind of person he had always been: a protector, someone who runs towards a burning building to save other people. How can your heart not break for him?

I know I said in the review of Us Against You: 

Well, I’m not rioting because now, I have peace with his tragic ending. As much as I hoped that he didn't die and wished for him to find someone he can be happy with, and spend the rest of his life with, and for them to live together happily ever after, I can appreciate Backman's choice to kill him off in this book. His death is a powerful lesson for the whole town of Beartown, and I can't even be mad at Matteo, for pulling the trigger and shot the bullet that killed Benji. It's the failure of the entire town that drove him to this point, and now they have to pay dearly. Benji had lived such a tremendous life in such a short time that the whole town mourned his passing, and he had such a big heart that everyone in that town loved him. It's not everyday that a character in a book gets me to be this emotional about them passing, while simultaneously accepting it and have peace with it. He's in the Elite Characters Heaven now, with Rin (TPW), Kelsier, Vin and Elend (Mistborn) and others. They're guardian angels now.

Now, what I wish we get in this book that I didn't get is the stories about Benji's travels. I do think that Benji's been transformed, even if just a little because he's still his awesome self, but he's been transformed by his travels nonetheless, and the little glimpses of it that we get in this book is waayyy too small. I understand that Backman already had too many stories to fit into this book, and there are new characters that we need to get to know too, but I just need more Benji.

One of the saddest things about Benji in this book is the way that he's still haunted by Kevin, even after two years and thousands of miles away from home, but still he blames himself and can't seem to mentally let go of Kevin. Knowing that Kevin was his first love, best friend, and the love of his life, it hurts too much to touch with words. And the way that Benji still blames himself for Kevin raping Maya. As if it was his responsibility to keep Kevin behaving appropriately towards women. There are so many times I just want to yell at him "IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, BABE!!!" like Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting, lol.

I mean, my guy needed to see a therapist, like, yesterday. He needed it so freaking bad. How I hope he had at least seen a therapist, how different his life would have been like. Oh, if only...

Benji and Alicia's unlikely friendship is something that I didn't know I needed in my life. I mean, inject it straight into my veins. Every time these two are having a cute interaction I just have the biggest smile on my face, like an idiot. Their friendship takes the prize in this book, beating Maya and Ana's and even Amat and Bobo's, and that's saying a lot, if you've read my review of Beartown and Us Against You. My favourite moment of theirs is a tie between that scene where they lay down on the ice together and Benji taught Alicia to not be scared, and that scene where they just said "Hi bestieee" to each other. I mean, just look at the material:

"Adri drives through the forest and stops on the slope above the campervan. She has Alicia with her, the girl rushes down through the trees and throws herself into Benji’s arms.

“Hi best friend,” Benji whispers.

“Hi best friend,” she giggles back."

It's pure serotonin for me. Every time I get sad, I'll just read that and I'll be happy again.

And Alicia's not the only lucky soul to have Benji as her friend, Maya and Ana are also so lucky to have been besties with him in this book. But especially Maya, I feel like she and Benji have an even tighter bond in this book, since in the last two books we didn't get a lot of interactions between them. So, I was a little taken aback when I read about how Maya ran and hugged him the first time she saw him at Ramona's funeral, because it feels like a long time friendship's reunion. Did they keep in touch and get closer since they last saw each other in Beartown? I wish we knew. Nonetheless, their friendship tugged at my heartstrings, and I adore them together. The kind of friendship where you just wish for a happy ending for each other is so wholesome and precious that I think people who truly have that are the luckiest ones among us. I strive to be one of them too.

It's also great to know that Benji and Ana are great friends now, that Benji has forgiven her and Ana has learned her lesson and is now a better person. Their friendship hits different for me, because to Ana, Benji was a crush, then he's a boy who broke her heart, then he's her victim because she outed him against his wills, and now, he's one of her best friends. And for Benji too, Ana was someone he sympathized with because of her drunk father, then she was the one that outed him, and now she's one of his best friends too. Their friendship taught me a lot about forgiveness, specifically to forgive people's mistakes and believe that people can really change and be better if they're given the chance to.

Benji's friendship with Amat and Bobo too. They have my whole heart, these boys. They keep on cheering and motivate each other on, and even though they were separated for two years but when they see each other again it was like they've never been apart, and their chemistry's still as strong as ever, even though all three of them have changed and grown a lot since they last see each other. That scene where Benji and Amat were helping Bobo courting Tess by playing with her brothers, and that scene when Benji were "hyping" Amat up to come back to practice for Beartown Hockey team, and that scene in the forest when they were camping and Benji were accompanying Amat and the Bobo pee on a tree, these are the moments that keep me going these last few days. I cherish those moments so much.

Now, Benji's friendship with Aleksander/Big City is one that made my heart flutter a little. I do sense a kind of a "vibe" between these two, and I get the feeling that Benji might actually have a crush on him, but it sucks that the guy's straight, lol. But I did enjoy it so much, how their friendship blossomed in such a short time. I love how Benji was the first real friend for Big City, because of course he is, someone with such a big wild heart and the most beautiful smile like Benji's could be anyone's friend.

I've said in my review of Us Against You that my ultimate ship in this trilogy is Benji and Happiness, and in Ch. 69 - Leaders, Ch. 70 - Players & Ch. 72 - Campers, my ship is SAILING. I even cried out of pure happiness for Benji. I knew that after those chapters, everything was gonna go downhill for him, Backman was being too generous, all of the characters that I love are happy and well, so something horrible must be waiting to happen to them soon. But I appreciate those happy moments so much. I hope we can all pretend that those three chapters last forever, or the book ends right there with everyone being happy. But you can't have happiness if you don't know suffering, I guess.

AMAT. My sweet baby boy who's not so much a baby anymore in this book. He's a grown man now, and although he's no stranger to adversities (literally, the guy's an immigrant POC who's trying to make it in the predominantly white sport, in a predominantly white town), he's about to face them at the next level in this book, and oh boy was it hard to read. I think he's got the reverse of a glow up in this book, he got a character regression, and it's heartbreaking to read. What I expected to read about him in this book is him being happy, being the best hockey player, playing in the NHL, making his mom proud, happy and able to retire from cleaning the rink, and just living their best life together. Pretty much the exact opposite of what we actually get of him in the beginning to middle of this book.

Amat got "hustled" by Lev and didn't get drafted into the NHL because of him, he became a drunk and was depressed after he got back home, the people of Beartown blamed him for faking his injuries and making the team lose the championship. I feel like, yes, we did get significantly more of Amat in this book, which is great and just what I wanted since the first two previous books, BUT NOT LIKE THIS. My guy's really struggling here and it's hard to read through the tears. It's as if Backman said, "Okay, I hear ya, here's more Amat, BUT HE'S GONNA SUFFER MUAHAHAHAHHA"

Suffice it to say, I cried while reading about him in the beginning, A LOT, and my heart was shattered.

JK, I still love you, Backman.

What's really bugging me about Amat's character regression is that it seems like, other than his own mother, and sometimes Peter, he doesn't really have a support system. Which is why I'm so mad that Lifa and Zacharias disappeared in this book, because they were such an amazing support system for Amat in Us Against You, they gave him a freaking army when he lost his hockey team, they pushed him to keep training and not give up on his dream. WHERE THE HELL ARE LIFA AND ZACHARIAS, BACKMAN? Are they being kept hostage in a basement somewhere?!!! I need to know, not only for Amat's sake, but I genuinely care about them both, and I was hoping to get more of them in this book. Okay, I'll save this rant for the criticism part of the review. Anyway, I feel like everyone, other than his mom and Peter, had failed him. Zackell, Bobo, Mumble, his team, even other people in Beartown like Tails, and Sune failed Amat, but I feel like the person to blame the most is Zackell.

I think the blame should be on Zackell for Amat getting burned out like he was in the beginning of the book because she should have looked out for him. Zackell was able to detect Filip's shoulder pain in Us Against You, but her own player, nay, not just any player, but her own STAR PLAYER she didn't know had a badly injured wrist?! Is that an exaggerated overlook or what? And she should have cared for Amat more, visited his home, and had a talk with him. There's just so much she could have done to help Amat, it's so frustrating. I get that she lacks social cues and is very awkward but we get to see her care about Benji, and about Bobo, but Amat she didn't care enough to visit and talk things through? To this day, I can't bring myself to like her.

Hard as it was though, in the end I'm happy with Amat's character arc in this book, because I feel that there's an element of a realistic depiction of the immigrant struggle in  Amat's story in the beginning of the book. I know that a lot of immigrants every where in the world are pushing themselves so hard to be the "model minority", trying their hardest to not cause any problems, and to always be grateful for the new life in the new country. And they try to excel and contribute something great for their new community because they feel indebted to their community, just like how Fatima is always grateful no matter how hard she and Amat have it in Beartown, and so she taught Amat to also always be grateful too.  I can imagine it being very taxing on a person. And for Amat, to be pressured by everyone to win every game, like he owes it to them to bring victory home, and be blamed for the losses, as if he's responsible for how his teammates play in the games too. No wonder his love for hockey slowly turns to hate, I would hate it too if I were him.

I did not appreciate that scare where Backman was insinuating that Fatima is going to die. I was already devastated and I was screaming, crying, kicking, and throwing up, but then Backman did what he does best, and said, "SYKE!!!" 😂🤪🤡🤭 And I was like 😭😭😭 PLEASE SIR, SOME OF US HAVE CRIPPLING ANXIETY, HAVE MERCY. However, I'd be Backman's lawyer for a moment and say that maybe Backman just wanted us to feel what Amat felt when he was looking for his Mom in the middle of a storm and found her in a ditch, so we understand his dread, because it took him out of his slump.

I love that despite everything he's been through, Amat still got back up, and then he got to thank and acknowledge Peter for all his help, and even though we didn't get to know or get to read much of it (which is criminal), he gets to become an NHL player, just like he had always dreamed of being.

MAYA. Let's check in with my No. 1 girl now. Well, Maya is doing great. Well, as great as she can be anyway, as she's still dealing with the PTSD from the rape. But other than that, Maya is moving up in the world, she's striving in her music school, she's living her best life in the big city, away from her family, and childhood friends, but also the people who only knew her as the rape victim. Maya finally get her chance to live her life freely, without people defining her only by the horrible thing that happened to her. Now, I have to be honest and say that there's not much to Maya's story in this book, unlike in Beartown and Us Against You. Although I do think that Maya has grown stronger and wiser in this book, she's less of a main character in this book compared to the previous two. The most exciting part of Maya's story in this book is when she was being secretly interrogated by an undercover reporter for the exposé of the corruption of the Beartown Hockey Club and its district council. And then later at the very end of the book when she took Alicia out of the rink, away from Benji's lifeless body.

However, I have to point out that I did enjoy so much reading about how much Maya has matured into such an amazing young woman in this book, she even helped her mom and dad with their issues. And even though there's not much Leo, nor Maya and Leo bonding moments in this book, that little scene where Maya busted him smoking cigarettes but then she herself asks for two cigarettes to keep quiet from their parents, it's so sweet and just shows how much both of them have grown up.

Her songs still slap so hard, and I love them so freaking much, but especially that song about that last game Benji played, that song took the wind right out of me when I reread it after I finished reading the book. I wish Backman had commissioned a musician to make it into a real song, it would be one hell of a soul crushing banger, for sure. But, for now I just have to make do with songs that have the most similar vibes to her songs, I guess. It's Spring Day by BTS and Who Knows by P!nk on repeat for me, I guess.

In the end, when Maya took Alicia away from Benji's lifeless body and held her outside of the rink, it's one of the most powerful things I've ever read. What a way to tie it all together in the end, because I think that one of the most prominent theme of the whole trilogy is female empowerment, and that one of the strongest message of the trilogy is that the biggest downfall of hockey is the misogyny and how toxic the winning culture is, not only to the athletes, but also to the people around them and their community. Maya was the first KNOWN victim of the toxic winning culture that was nurtured into the young athletes in Beartown, and Alicia lost her best friend due to the violence that was resulted from the victim-blaming and victim-silencing culture that the town had. The main moral message is, when we discriminate against one gender over the other, we ALL lose, we all pay the price. Also, when we don't say or do anything after we witness or know something that's morally wrong, we indirectly endorse it. That's why we need more people like Amat, who stood up for Maya, and people like Benji who supported Maya and condemned Kevin's actions, even though he's the love of his life, same as Kevin's mom who apologized directly to Maya. And so, that scene with all of those women holding Maya and Alicia is so powerful, it's like they're saying, no more, we will not let any more of our friends, sisters, and daughters fall victim, as we will protect and save each other from harm. I love that so much.

ANA. My fighter queen. I had such a great time reading about her in this book. I think she's more of a main character than Maya in this book, for the first time. I mean, this book really is about people who run towards fire, and that's why Ana shines so bright in this book, because that's what she is. When she drove Hannah through the forest in the middle of a storm to help someone deliver a baby, I thought, of course that is something she would do. It seems very fitting and in character for her, because we know ever since she was a child she had always been that kind of person. That's how she met Maya, she rescued her from drowning and being froze to death. However, I legit thought that she was going to die when she was helping Hannah get to that couple and then when she was driving them to the hospital, that's how severe my trust issue with Backman is. Thank God nobody died in that scene. Anyway, the fact that the couple named their newborn son Vidar in honor of Ana's Vidar is just...

I'm just a sucker for tragic love stories, and Ana and Vidar's never fail to wreck me emotionally no matter how many times I read about them in Us Against You, so to read about the baby being named Vidar, I literally had to take a break because it just hit me in the guts.

But back to Ana now, I think she just becomes more awesome in this book. She didn't get a glow up, nor did she go to a school in the big city like Maya, but I still feel that she just becomes more badass and awesome in this book. I think that it's criminal that we didn't get much of her martial arts career in this book, but I'm grateful for what we have of her in this book.

In the end part of the book, in that scene where Ana and Lev took her father home, and created an alibi for her father so he won't be criminally charged for Matteo's murder, and Ana  was crying as she get drunk for the last time, it's so fucking heartbreaking. (Here we'll have to talk about having the same moral and ethical standard towards our family and loved ones as we do towards other people, but in this case I personally think that what Ana's dad did was justified since Matteo was shooting up the locker room and took Benji's life, which is an innocent's life, so I think Ana's dad shooting Matteo down can be seen as defense, but I'm not familiar with the law in Sweden, maybe what he did can be criminally charged, so I don't have any qualms about Ana and Lev protecting him, even though they're lying to the police, but that's just my opinion) Ana's dad saved other people in that locker room from being shot by Matteo, and he gave Matteo a quick death too, and Ana just lost one of her best friend and she must also be so fucking scared that her dad will be held in prison for the rest of his life for what he did. I really feel for her in that scene, I just want to give her the biggest hug and tell her that everything's gonna be okay.

I love Ana's relationship with Hannah, I love how awkward they both are towards each other but also how much they care about and love each other. Also, her wanting to be an ambulance helicopter pilot came out of left field, but also so   in character for her. In the end, I love her character's arc and her story, she's such a free spirited and badass character that she'll fit perfectly with a group of my other fave badass and strong protagonists: Toph Beifong (ATLA), Fang Runin (TPW), Vin  (Mistborn), Lift (The Stormlight Archive). I also love how her dad is finally sober again, and hopefully he'll be able to keep being sober for the rest of their lives.

PETER AND KIRA. Everyone's favorite couple is STILL having a hard time in this book. I thought by the end of Us Against You, their problems had been resolved but NOPE. It's as existent as ever and they even avoid each other now, even though they work at the same office, a few feet from each other. As a child of a broken home, this was NOT fun to read.

Reading about Peter feeling not needed in the office and in his own home is heartbreaking, but him baking bread all the time is SO FREAKING CUTE. I found him to be so charming when I found out that he likes to bake and share his baked goods with others, it's so freaking wholesome. I liked him when he was the Beartown Hockey Team's GM, but why do I like him more when he bakes and just being a wholesome person. I feel sorry for him, but there's no shame in being a stay at home dad and husband who loves baking, though. I just hope that he and Kira could have communicated better so things wouldn't have to be that bad.

I love when he tried to help Amat with the whole NHL draft situation and when he felt happy that he could help in any way with Beartown hockey club, so he helped Zackell in recruiting Big City. It's kinda sad, I know, especially with Tails, his supposed best friend secretly abused his naiveté and trust that Peter could have been criminally charged and be kept in prison, and him feeling not wanted anywhere, so he really cherished what little joy he could get from hockey. But I think all of that just builds up his character even more, and although he doesn't really have a character arc as he was a consistently good character all throughout the trilogy, he kept having to overcome all of these adversities and I believe he's an even better and stronger man now because of them.

As for Kira, I'm so proud of her for going to therapy, that means she's willing and actively seeking out help to work things out with her husband. She did have her moments of being hard headed and too proud to start talking things out with Peter, or rather she didn't know how to, but in the end she came around because of the love they have for each other is too strong. She is truly goals, because not only she's girl boss, but what makes her even greater is that though she made mistakes, she worked hard to learn and make up for those mistakes. I love that about her. She's honestly such a remarkable woman, wife and mother.

Reading about her feeling guilty all the time because she blamed herself for her marital issues and not being a good enough mother is heartbreaking, because that just shows how much she actually cares and wants to be better, even though she's an already amazing mom and wife. Every time she thinks about Isak, I just start crying because that pain is so real and Backman is just a master of writing emotions like these.

I also love it so much when she finally decided to close her successful business law firm and open new one non profit law firm to advocate for rape survivors. And her friendship with her work partner is just friendship goals. And her wanting to help and mentor Tess because she saw her young self in her is just beautiful. I love all of these women so much.

BOBO. The one with the best character arc of this whole trilogy. Just when I thought this boy couldn't be any better, Backman proves me wrong. He's the ultimate boyfriend goals in this book, and he is just so freaking endearing and cute with Tess. His and Tess's love story is the cutest, I just wanna burst when I read about these two.

I know I said that he failed Amat earlier, but let's also acknowledge how Amat also brushed him aside constantly but Bobo was never one to hold grudges, which is so admirable of him. So when they made up, their friendship is still as heartwarming as ever, and that Lupines scene is so wholesome. These two are still my fave friendship in this trilogy, well, maybe after Alicia and Benji's friendship.

RAMONA. Trust her to still be iconic even from beyond the grave. Can you believe that she made Peter and Teemu brothers even after she died? The influence this woman has, I swear.

THAT FUNERAL SCENE AND PETER'S EULOGY... DRINK MY TEARS

I don't even care about QEII's death, but this Queen's death right here, we truly need 100 days in mourning for her passing, because how could we cope without her??!!!

Peter, Teemu, Vidar, and Benji were Ramona's sons, no one can tell me otherwise.

TEEMU. Did I become his stan because of this book? Yes. Yes, I did. How could I not? Like I said about The Pack in the previous review, he might be a psycho, but he's OUR psycho.  No, he's actually the antihero. Also, he just lost Ramona in the beginning of this book, who had been a parental figure for him, and he tragically lost his only brother two years ago, the man deserves a big warm hug.

I am sad that he didn't end up with Adri, Benji's sister, because I shipped them, but I'm happy for him nevertheless when it was revealed in the end that he has a son who likes soccer.

He has been such an interesting morally grey character in this trilogy and you know I love my morally grey characters, and I'm adding him to my list of fave antihero characters.

Also, The Pack are still as violent as ever when they attacked Hed when they mocked Bang the dog's death at that hockey game, but I just can't help but love them. What other group of men would go absolutely feral like that to defend deceased dog? They're the type of guys who love something  or someone so strongly and unconditionally, that it made them lethal, and I think that is so sweet.

I also love when The Pack gave Peter a bouquet of flowers to give to Kira because she was helping the club legally. They're all as sweet as cinnamon rolls at heart.

RUTH. When I think back how mad and devastated I was reading about Maya in Beartown (Book 1), it makes me so much more mad now because Ruth's story makes me realize how good Maya actually had it, that there are so many others who had it so much worse, like Ruth, and I'm heartbroken for all of them. It's not a competition, no one has monopoly on trauma, it's fucking awful that these women went through something so horrible, I just wish there was someone who could have supported Ruth, and others like her, and help them go through all of the process like  how Maya had Ana and her family. Ruth's story is so painful and heart-shattering to read, but sadly it's accurate to a LOT of real life rape cases.

If anything, Ruth's story highlighted the importance of having a support system, loving and supportive family, friends and allies who care, speak up and stand up for the rape victims.

MATTEO. I desperately want to hate him, for what he did, but I can't. How can I when I know he's hurting too, and I understand a little too much about how hurt people hurt other people. I still remember so much about how Leo was doing self harm and looking to get into trouble in Us Against You, because he felt so much rage and pain for all of the fucked up shits his sister had to go through and how every one around them seem to fail her. And I think, if you've ever loved someone, you will be able to understand his pain and frustrations. Also, keep in mind that he's only 14 years old, and he has no one to talk to, no friends, and his parents are mentally checked out from reality, and other people never seem to notice him in Beartown. Knowing all of that, it's very hard to blame and hate him, instead I just feel so sorry for him.

Even Backman pointed out how things would have turned out to be if only one person had noticed Matteo:

"Then Matteo gets back on the moped and drives home to Beartown. It breaks down halfway. He stands at the side of the road waving at passing cars for help, but those who see him don’t stop, and those who might have stopped don’t see him. One of the vehicles that drives past in the other direction is a police car. How differently this story might have ended if it hadn’t just driven past on its way, because the police were hurrying to get to a reported gunfire incident at a parking lot in town. Then Rodri would have been the only person who died."

It reminded me of this story from a great Youtube video, where a psychotherapist is interviewing someone who was going to shoot people at their school, the person said that what had stopped him from realizing his intention of shooting up his school is a girl who was adamant on being his friend, because she had noticed that he was being bullied, so that one act of kindness from the girl (along with the things the person learned from his studies and the internet that open up his mind more about the world) was able to put a stop to his deadly and extremely destructive plan to shoot up his school, and I just marvel at how amazing and inspiring that is. Imagine if Matteo had that too, there would never have been a shooting at the rink, and nobody would have died.

Matteo really didn't have to kill Bang the dog, though.

MUMBLE. My initial reaction when I learned the truth about him and how he didn't stand up for Ruth was shocked, nay, FLABBERGASTED. And the, RAGE. I mean, I liked him, I was rooting for him.

I WAS FUCKING ROOTING FOR YOU, but all this time you were a coward who didn't stand up and speak up for Ruth?!!! I was beyond disappointed.

HOWEVER!! I quickly realize Backman was right when he wrote a lot of us are cowards, and a lot of us probably would have done the same thing as Mumble, and that Amat was an anomaly for being so brave and stood up and spoke up for Maya, so who am I to judge Mumble when I maybe would have done the same thing? Of course we all like to think that we would have been brave enough to speak up in defense of those who need it, and I truly hope we are, but until we are tested ourselves, who are we to judge Mumble?

Also, this is every introverts' worst nightmare, Mumble was in the wrong place at the wrong place (at the night of the rape), which is why he couldn't speak up to defend Ruth, on top of the threats from Ruth's rapist, and he had chosen a wrong company to keep. Yeah, I think that's his biggest mistake, that he kept being friends with that trash. I know Ruth's rapist wasn't a bad person when Mumble first met him, but how I wish that Mumble had dropped him completely when he turned bad and toxic, since Mumble couldn't do anything to save him from his toxicity, nor was it his job to. It reminds me of the importance of keeping the right companies, and not being scared of cutting out toxic people out of my life. Although, I understand that mumble really had a problem with expressing himself and he had almost zero personal agency, which is probably why he kept being friends with Ruth's rapist and couldn't get away from him, which is so fucking horrible, and if that's actually the case then Mumble's completely not to blame. I don't know, he was just in such a horrible situation, he was trapped, and some would even argue that he's also a victim of Ruth's rapist, and I feel so bad for him.

In the end, I'm heartbroken that he had to "go into the forest and never come out".

SUNE. My sweet wise old man. Truthfully, I'm sad that there's so little of him here, but glad to know that he's still around. It's sad though, that he's mostly here for the Bang being killed storyline. Well at least he wasn't at the two games where the violence happened, so he didn't get hurt.

It's also great that Sune's still Alicia's guardian, at least she still has him and Benji's sisters and Mom.

As much as I love this book, I do have some criticisms…

While I do think that adding new characters to the story is a great move as they add a fresh and new perspective, I do feel sad that old characters from the first two books are being excluded in this book. Characters like Lifa, Zacharias, Jeannette, William, David, and Filip, that I think should be present in the story in this book. Like I feel like Lifa and Zacharias would never let Amat get to his lowest point as he was in the earlier part of this book, since we know in Us Against You that they gave him an army so he won't give up on his dream and hockey. And what happened to Jeannette? Is she still coaching Ana? And we know that David cared a lot about Benji, how did he react when he knew about what happened to Benji? And didn't he and William and Filip leave Beartown hockey club to play for Hed? Why aren't they present in this book, since Hed's hockey played a pretty big role in the conflict? Maybe they have moved on to coach and play at bigger hockey clubs (it might be mentioned in the book, but I couldn't remember it and I didn't make note of it) which is why they didn't appear in this book, but still. I get that there may be too many characters in this book, and the new characters are important and necessary to the story, but to completely write these old characters off feels very weird to me. Not to mention that I was excited and expecting to get more of Lifa and Zacharias in this book, so this is a big let down for me. Is losing all of these characters worth having the new characters? I don't know. I love most of the new characters, but not getting any Lifa and Zacharias blows so hard.

I wish there were more Hockey games, the two actual games we get in this book, the violence got in the way of it actually being played. I miss the hockey games like the ones in Beartown (Book 1). But at least we get that practice game scene with Amat, Big City, Mumble, Bobo, Benji and Peter playing, and it was one of the best scenes in this book.

So many short chapters in this book. I think Backman could have added more to them and made this book even thicc-er, which would make this book even better, IMO. Like, don't be shy Fredrik, make it 1000 pages, please.

My favourite moments from the book:

When Ana bonded with Hannah after she delivered the baby  during that storm

When Amat and Bobo run together again for the first time in a while, where Bobo told him that he's like Lupines because he's so strong and unbreakable, and Amat apologized to Bobo, and Amat hoped that Bobo will be a father in the future because he has such a big heart and a short memory which are the two best qualities for a father

When Peter and Teemu bonded like brothers after Ramona's death

The Gang's reunion at Ramona's funeral (Benji, Maya, Ana, Bobo, Amat, Mumble)

All of Benji and Alicia scenes, where they're being the best besties ever

When Bobo, Amat, Mumble and Benji went to Tess's house, Bobo and Tess made dinner, and Amat, Mumble and Benji played and bonded with Tobias, Ted and Ture

That fun after practice game with Amat, Big City, Mumble, Bobo, Benji and Peter playing, and Maya, Ana, Sune, the caretaker and Fatima were watching and all of them were super happy and full of life and laughter

That camping night where Benji and Maya were being the cutest besties, with Big City, Maya, Ana, Bobo, Amat and Mumble

When Bobo told Johnny that it's not up to him whom Tess dates and he knows he doesn't deserve Tess and he would never hold her back from achieving and realizing her dreams and aspirations

When Kira told her colleague and Maya that she wants to give up their current firm and open up a new non-profit one to help rape survivors like Maya, and so Tess could one day work there too, and her colleague told her that she's gonna join and help with with that

When Kira and Peter finally talked honestly and openly for the first time in a while and seem to be working on their marriage and their family.

My favorite quotes from the book:

"Naive dreams are love’s last line of defense, so somehow we always convince ourselves that no terrible tragedies will ever afflict those we love, and that our people will succeed in escaping fate. For their sakes we dream of eternal life, we wish for superpowers and try to build time machines. We hope. Dear God, how we hope."

"Do you want to understand people? Really understand them? Then you need to know all the best that we are capable of."

"It took chaos to set him free, loneliness to stop him being alone."

"People say that age brings wisdom, but for most of us that really isn’t true, when we get old we’ve just accumulated more experiences, good and bad. The result is more likely to be cynicism than wisdom. When we’re young we know nothing about all the very worst that can hit us, which is just as well, because otherwise we’d never leave the house.

And we would definitely never let go of those we love."

"“You know a lot about men for someone so young.”

“They just think we want them to protect us the whole goddamn time, as if we need their fucking protection,” Ana snorts."

"Every now and then their dad gently puts one hand on his sons’ and daughter’s backs, one at a time, to make sure they’re still breathing. There’s no good reason to suspect that they aren’t, but there’s nothing reasonable about being a parent. The only thing everyone said when he was about to become a father was: “Don’t worry.” What a meaningless thing to say. There’s an immensity of love that bursts from your chest the first time you hear your child cry, every emotion you’ve ever felt is amplified to the point of absurdity, children open floodgates inside us, upward as well as down. You’ve never felt so happy, and never felt so scared. Don’t say “don’t worry” to someone in that position. You can’t love someone like this without worrying about everything, forever. It hurts your chest at times, a real, physical pain that makes Johnny bend over and gasp for breath. His skeleton creaks, his body aches, love never has enough space. He should have known better than to have four children, he should have thought about it, but everyone said “don’t worry,” and he’s always been an easily persuaded idiot. Thank goodness. We fool ourselves that we can protect the people we love, because if we accepted the truth we’d never let them out of our sight."

"“Home.”

There really ought to be several different words for that, one for the place and one for the people, because after enough years a person’s relationship to their town becomes more and more like a marriage. Both are held together by stories of what we have in common, the little things no one else knows about, the private jokes that only we think are funny, and that very particular laugh that you only laugh for me. Falling in love with a place and falling in love with a person are related adventures. At first we run around street corners giggling and explore every inch of each other’s skin, over the years we get to know every cobblestone and strand of hair and snore, and the waters of time soften our passion into unfailing love, and in the end the eyes we wake up next to and the horizon outside our window are the same thing: home.

So there ought to be two words for that, one for the home which can carry you through your darkest moments, and one for the home which binds you. Because sometimes we stay in towns and marriages simply because we would otherwise have no story. We have too much in common. We think no one else would be able to under-stand us."

"“That’s because you don’t get it. We’re your mothers. We loved you first. Maybe everyone else loves you now, but we loved you first.”

“Doesn’t feeling like that make you a good mother?”

“It just makes me a mother.”

The psychologist chuckled.

“Well, you’re right about that, of course. I’m almost sixty and my mom still worries that I’m not eating properly.”

Kira raised her chin but lowered her voice.

“We’re your mothers. You can’t stop us.”"

"Most people don’t know when their childhood ends, but this girl will always know exactly.

Maya remembers the hospital, after the rape, when her own mom wanted to murder the whole town and her dad whispered: “What can I do?” and all Maya could manage to say was: “Love me.” It’s a terrible moment for all kids when we realize that our parents can’t protect us. That we won’t be able to protect our own. That the whole world can come and take us whenever it likes."

"So instead she calls the only person she’s got, the only person she’s always had, because that’s the question a crisis asks us: Who’s your person? She calls Ana."

"“You get success by having extremely high integrity but absolutely zero prestige. Because integrity is about who you are, whereas prestige is only about what other people think of you.” The man often thinks that this might be true in sports, but when you’re talking about the survival of a town the opposite is true: prestige is everything."

"Everything that happens in childhood is a postcard that parents send to themselves. Things are never quite the way we remember them."

"Maya chewed the rest of her chocolate ball slowly for a long time before she dared ask: “Do you miss Isak every day?” Peter kissed her hair. “Yes, all the time,” he admitted. “I want to miss him too, but I don’t really even remember him,” Maya replied unhappily. “I think you can miss him just as much anyway,” her dad assured her. “How does it feel?” she asked. “Like having blisters in your heart,” he said."

"Our children never warn us that they’re thinking of growing up, one day they’re just too big to want to hold our hand, it’s just as well we never know when the last time is going to be or we’d never let go. They drive you mad when they’re little, yelling every time you leave the room, because you don’t realize at the time that whenever someone yells “Daddy!” that means you’re important. It’s hard to get used to not being important."

"“Home.” There really ought to be more words for that. One to cover the people we have there, another with room for those we have lost."

"One of the first things she learned was that up to forty percent of all young bears die during their first year of life, and that the most common cause of death was being killed by an adult male bear that wasn’t their father. That was when Fatima realized that one day she would have to be a bear as well, when someone threatened her offspring. So she fought for his right to be a carefree bear, naive and untroubled, like all the others. For him to be able to play and have fun. Because, to be honest, not even she believed that Amat would become as good as he did, that he would make it “all the way,” she just loved the fact that he didn’t have to think on the ice. He had no pain there, he was free, that was enough."

"People can bury so many of their loved ones during a lifetime and still get up the morning after, but something inside gets a bit heavier each time. She’s had more than a few mornings when she’s woken up and wondered if she can be bothered to get up once more."

"The end of life is as unstoppable as its beginning, we can’t stop the first and last breaths we take any more than we can stop the wind."

"The most unbearable thing about death is that the world just goes on. Time doesn’t care. "

"He takes a cigarette from the packet on the bedside table and smokes with her one last time. He suddenly starts laughing, because she looks so angry, even when she’s dead. If she’s in any sort of Heaven now, Vidar is also there, and his little brother will be getting one hell of a telling-off for daring to die before her, he thinks. Then he gently closes the old woman’s eyes and pats her on the cheek, and whispers:

“Say hi to the little shit. And Holger.”"

"People talk about “coming out” as if it’s something you only do once, but obviously you never run out of new people, so you keep having to come out and come out until you snap."

"When they were little they did everything together, Benji never left Kevin’s side. When some boys find their first best friend it’s the first real love of their lives, they just don’t know what falling in love is yet, so that’s how they learn what love is: it feels like climbing trees, it feels like jumping in puddles, it feels like having one single person in your life who you don’t even want to play hide-and-seek with because you can’t bear being without him for a single minute. For most boys this infatuation obviously fades as the years pass, but for some it never does. Benji traveled right across the world but never found a single place where he could stop hating himself for still loving Kevin."

"Benji was Kevin’s best friend, and Kevin was the love of Benji’s life."

"We all have a hundred fake personalities depending upon who we’re with. We pretend and dissemble and stifle ourselves just to fit in. The very last words Benji said to Kevin the last time they saw each other were: “I hope you find him: the Kevin you’re looking for.” He doesn’t know if Kevin ever did. Benji has been looking for a Kevin he can put up with, but hasn’t succeeded yet."

"A common misconception about dangerous people is that they lack emotions. That they aren’t sentimental. That’s almost never true, often the most sentimental and sensitive people are the most dangerous, because they’re not only capable of abuse, but can also justify it. Sensitive people never feel that they’re doing the wrong thing because their feelings always convince them that they’re on the right side."

"Over the past few years he’s heard so much about what a “talent” he is, but the people who use that word know nothing about hockey. They say “talent” as if it comes for free. As if Amat hadn’t been the first person at the ice rink every morning and last to leave ever since he started junior high school, as if he hadn’t trained harder than everyone else year after year, covering thousands of miles on his skates, running until he threw up, dribbling empty cans at home in the apartment until his hands were blistered and the neighbors furious. As if hockey hadn’t cost him precisely what it costs everyone who wants to be any good: everything.

The one thing he has learned about talent is that the only sort of talent that’s worth anything is to submit totally to training. To tough it out."

"Hannah can’t go home until the road is cleared, but Johnny can’t go home because he’s the one clearing the road. That pretty much sums up their relationship, both to each other and to their community. Hannah once heard a marriage guidance counselor on television say that “the important thing in a marriage is to have shared goals and to keep facing the same direction,” but she often thinks that the problem with that is that if you’re both facing the same direction, you never see each other."

"He drank away the whole of her childhood, yet she still wanted to do the same job as him. Never underestimate a dad who’s trying to be forgiven, he’s capable of anything."

"Where you are born and who you become is a cruel lottery. He wonders exactly what it was that divided him and his sister from happiness, and if it is even possible to measure all the “if only”s and “if that hadn’t”s, because when it comes down to it, that’s really all life is."

"Parents who lose a child never trust the universe again."

"Tales of boys and their fathers are the same in every age, in every place. We love each other, hate each other, miss each other, hold each other back, but we can never live unaffected by each other. We try to be men and never really know how. The tales about us who live here are the same sort of tales that are told about everyone, everywhere, we think we’re in charge of the way they unfold but of course that happens unbearably seldom. They just carry us wherever they want to go. Some of them will have happy endings, and some of them will end exactly the way we were always afraid they would."

"One simple, painful truth for all teenagers is that their lives are rarely defined by what they do, what really matters is what they almost do."

"They roar with laughter. Roar and roar. Two minutes, and everything is normal. The same jibes, the same laughter, the same tattoos on their arms: guitars and rifles. The musician and the hunter. Never have two girls with so little in common been so inseparable. They talk at the same time, sisterhood’s capacity for simultaneity, neither of them ever has to shut up to hear what the other is saying."

"“I love you, you stupid donkey! You’re the only person I know who apologizes for being here while you’re here! Seriously? You can hardly be more here than HERE, can you?”

Maya holds her best friend so tightly that her lungs hurt.

“I miss you so damn much.”

“You’re actually HOLDING me, you donkey!”

“Shut up!”

How do other people bear it, Maya wonders, how do they live without an Ana? How the hell do people cope?"

"“Peter used to get beaten at home if he so much as spilled his milk. Benji didn’t dare tell anyone he was gay. Amat is the cleaner’s son in the rich kids’ sport. All the best players have a darkness inside them, that’s why they end up the best, they think the darkness will disappear if they can just win enough times…”"

"He’s fourteen now, and his sister always told him that this age was the worst, that people were at their worst then, she said he just had to survive these years. But of course she was the one who didn’t do that. She said he could be anything he wanted to be, but he can’t now. Because he wants to be happy."

"He stops like a rat trapped in a corner, turns around, ready for anything. The men in black jackets have left the gate and are walking straight toward him. He has been loved by them but he’s also been hated, the way only someone who has been loved can be, when they found out about all his secrets. Once he symbolized everything they wanted Beartown to be: everyone feared him and he feared no one. He was just a boy then, but he was their man on the ice. Their warrior. Theirs. The roar that can rise up from a stand full of men in black jackets when you’re full of adrenaline and throwing yourself at the Plexiglas is something Benji has never felt anywhere else, because it doesn’t exist anywhere else. How many times has he wished that he could have stayed there? That the truth had never come out? Warriors are supposed to love other men, not fall in love with them."

"But there’s incalculable loss in his eyes, in all the men’s eyes. The skin of their faces is swollen with alcohol, drowned inside to stop them drowning in tears outside. They belonged to Ramona, she belonged to them, most of them were closer to the old bag than their own parents. So even humor isn’t a defense now, it’s an act of defiance, you’re not getting us, bastard grief."

"“Marriage.”

There ought to be a different word for it once you’ve been married for enough years. When you’ve long since passed the point where it stopped feeling like a choice. I no longer choose you every morning, that was a beautiful thing we said on our wedding day, I just can’t imagine life without you now. We aren’t freshly blooming flowers, we’re two trees with intertwined roots, you’ve grown old within me.

When you’re young you believe that love is infatuation, but infatuation is simple, any child can become infatuated, fall in love. But real love? Love is a job for an adult. Love demands a whole person, all the best of you, all the worst. It has nothing to do with romance, because the hard part of a marriage isn’t that I have to live seeing all your faults, but that you have to live with me seeing them. That I know everything about you now. Most people aren’t brave enough to live without secrets. Everyone dreams about being invisible sometimes, no one dreams of being transparent."

"Marriage? There ought to be a different word for it after a while. Because there’s no such thing as “eternal infatuation,” only love lasts that long, and it’s never simple. It requires a whole person, everything you have. The whole lot."

"Her fingers find him and she buttons his jacket to pretend that they’re not just looking for intimacy. He stops, almost dizzy, and they look past each other because if they look each other in the eye right now they would probably both crumble. It’s been so long since they touched each other that her fingertips are enough, they’re like electric shocks to him, she dares not rest the palms of her hands on his chest. Dear Lord, how close you have to be to giving up each other to remember to fight for each other."

"There really ought to be a different word for “marriage,” but perhaps also a different word for “divorce.” One for when you’re only almost there. When you want to whisper that I don’t know what I want, I just don’t want it to be like this. A word for simply saying that I can’t bear it. I can’t bear it if all we’re going to do with each other is just bear it."

"“I love you too.”

It’s been so long since they said that, but now it’s very recent. Above all the other words for love, there ought to be one for this: one that says how many times we’ve come close to losing each other but turn back and start again. One for the very smallest things, the inches, when we brush past each other in the kitchen instead of only almost doing it. Something that says I can’t bear it. I can’t bear it if you can’t bear me. I can’t bear it without you."

"The two young women trample over the memories and two invisible little girls pad after them. Because they’re always walking behind us: the children we were before the worst that has happened happened."

"She once said she hated the world because it forced children like him to become hard simply to survive, but then she saw that he got scared and ruffled his hair and said it was probably good to be soft, because then you didn’t break when you fell. Like flower petals. Perhaps that’s what happened to her, she grew hard, the way a rose that freezes to ice can be shattered with a hammer."

"Then she detects the smell of cigarette smoke that’s just settled on a jacket nearby, then something warm in her hand. Maya’s fingers, closing around hers.

“I’ve missed you, Mom.”

Dear God. Kira almost walks back to the car and sits there instead. Our children have no idea what they do to us."

"He pulls himself together and folds the sheet of paper up and presses it into his pocket, because he’s shaking so much that he realizes it’s becoming a joke. He doesn’t know if it’s the audience in the church or the one in Heaven that’s worse, but he just does what he used to do in the locker room: bites his lip so hard that the pain and the taste of blood force his mind to focus:

“A few moments, I said to her, that’s all this sport gives us. And then Ramona poured a large shot of whiskey and laughed at me and said: ‘So what the hell is life, then, Peter? More than moments?’ ”

Teemu is sitting in the front row, his face motionless but with his fists quivering on his knees. Benji is standing alone right at the back of the church, as close to the door as possible, his tears dripping softly onto the stone floor. Peter tries to steady his voice. Three boys without dads.  If you want to know who Ramona was and what she really meant to this part of the world, you only have to look at the desolation in their faces."

"Things always happen quickly when everything goes to hell."

"Bobo pulls a large wicker picnic basket out of the back of the ramshackle campervan, then can’t get the door to close. This doesn’t appear to bother him. Tess comes out of the house as if she’s having to force her feet not to leave the ground and fly off with her. They do try their hardest, their very hardest, not to wrap themselves around each other’s necks in front of his friends and her brothers. She invites him into the kitchen and he immediately starts asking thousands of questions, about her and the house and the family. She isn’t used to that, she’s used to boys only wanting one thing, so in the end she asks what he’s got in the basket. He shows her. Pasta and meat and vegetables and stock and cream. She laughs and thinks that she was right after all, boys really do only want one thing.

They want to make dinner."

"Tobias thinks for a long, long time before he looks down and answers:

“She can probably see that he’s friendly.”

“Is that good?” Benji asks honestly.

Breathing through his nose, Tobias pokes around his shoelaces with the stick.

“She doesn’t want a remarkable life, just a… normal one. Our dad’s a fireman, our mom’s a midwife, we’ve spent our whole childhoods getting told we’re being raised by heroes. The sort of people who run toward fire. But Bobo isn’t a hero, and my sister can probably see that. He wouldn’t run toward fire, he’d run toward her.”"

"Ted fires a puck. Leans on his stick.

“My dad says pressure is a privilege. If you don’t feel pressure, that’s just because you’ve never done anything valuable enough for people to have expectations of you.”"

"Mothers and daughters know how to wound each other in totally unique ways, possibly because daughters often carry the guilt of their mothers’ consciences, until they end up arguing about sins that they haven’t even committed."

"There’s no life like youth, no love like first love, no friends like teammates."

"“It’s nothing personal, Bobo. I’m sure you’re a good guy. But I don’t want you to hold her back. If I’m honest, I think her mom is hoping deep down that she’s going to stay and have an ordinary life, because Hannah can’t live without Tess, but… damn it, Bobo. She can be anything she wants. She could be something big, our daughter. Do you understand? She isn’t like…”

Bobo nods with his back bent. He blinks too hard too many times for it not to show how badly he’s falling apart.

“Don’t you think I know Tess is too good for me? That she’s special and I’m just ordinary? I’m not so smart, but I’m not THAT un-smart! I don’t know anything except cars and a bit about hockey, I know I can’t GIVE her anything, but I will never… never… try to hold her back, I… I’ll never act badly toward her. And maybe I can’t study at university like her, but I’m pretty good at fixing things and I’m fairly strong and my friends like me and Tess likes me. I try to be a good man and I think I could be a pretty good dad one day. And I WON’T hold her back. If she wants to move away from here, then I’ll go with her. I can live anywhere if I can live with her. There are bad cars to fix everywhere. And if you want to try to get her to stop liking me, go ahead, but I’m not going to give up… I can’t…”"

"This is how a community’s corruption is measured. It isn’t cheating if you don’t get caught, and it isn’t a scandal if it never gets revealed. Until then, there are just secrets. All forests are full of them."

"Bobo stumbles euphorically down the stands but Zackell doesn’t go back to the office. She stands and watches as Benji chases Amat across the ice and Amat bounces away and laughs and Bobo pulls on a pair of skates and throws himself into the fray and one of the very best things of all happens: almost-adults forgetting that they’re adults."

"Amat will remember this evening as the start of something. Bobo as the end of something. For Peter it feels like belonging to something again, for Mumble it feels like belonging to something for the very first time. For Big City it’s like getting a second chance to be a little kid and fall head-over-heels in love with hockey again. How it feels for Benji nobody knows, this is the last time they see him play."

"All children are victims of their parents’ childhoods, because all adults try to give their kids what they themselves enjoyed or lacked. In the end everything is either a revolt against the adults we encountered or an attempt to copy them. That’s why someone who hated their own childhood often has greater empathy than someone who loved theirs. Because someone who had a hard time dreamed of other realities, but someone who had it easy can hardly imagine that things could be any different. We take happiness so easily for granted if we’ve had it from the start."

"The very finest thing you can give a child is somewhere to belong. The biggest thing you can have is being part of something."

"Churchyards are meant to be final destinations, but for many of us all the gravestones are question marks. Why? Why you? Why so early? Where are you now? Who could you have been if everything had been different? Or if just something very small had been? If you had had different parents, a different name, if you had lived somewhere else?"

"That damn animal. Unmanageable and impossible, wild and crazy, never gives him a moment’s peace, and there’s nothing Sune is more grateful for than that. He was never really prepared for the love he would feel for his dog. That’s what he says, my dog, even though the entire basis for what he feels when it looks at him is the exact opposite: that he belongs to it. That he is its human. It trusts him so much that it sometimes becomes too much for him, because he doesn’t know if he can handle the responsibility. He doesn’t know if he can cope with being so needed. So loved. No matter how many mornings he gets woken by those eager paws on the edge of the bed, that rough tongue on his face, he is still taken aback by its acceptance of him. Dogs are like hockey, a fresh chance every morning, everything is constantly beginning again."

"“Then I would lie here and look up at the roof and think, ‘Now I’m alone in the world.’ I sort of memorized the silence. Because I’ve never been scared when I’m alone, only among other people.”

“Me too.”

Benji hates the fact that the child knows exactly how that feels. She’s too young for that. But he tells it like it is:

“No one can hurt you when you’re alone.”

Her fingers clutch his a little tighter now, the bear beneath them, eternity above them. "

"Matteo doesn’t feel powerful, he just wants to stop feeling powerless, just for a single moment. He thinks about the green jacket Mumble was wearing in the churchyard, Sune has one just like it, he’d like to take something from them so that they know how it feels. Because he’s sure they’d mourn the dog more than they ever mourned Ruth. In the town of bears, girls are worth less than animals."

"They’re sad that Sune is sad, of course, but they don’t really understand his loss. Because of course it was only a dog. It’s so hard to explain that it’s more than an animal when you’re that animal’s human. Perhaps it takes more empathy than most people are capable of. Or more imagination."

"But if anyone can understand the unbridled, unreasonable love you can feel for an animal, it’s probably men who have been told all their lives that they love something more than they should: “But it’s only hockey.”

The Pack feels precisely everything, precisely all the time. They know that the extent of grief isn’t measured by what you’ve lost but by who you are. They have imagination. So much imagination, in fact, that the very thought of losing something they can’t live without makes them lethal."

"“I wouldn’t be where I am without you.”

“Stop that, you have a God-given talent, you had—” Peter protests, but Amat interrupts him quietly but firmly:

“Talent isn’t enough. Or at least it wouldn’t have been enough for me. You need someone who believes in you too. Not just me… you’ve done the same for Benji and Bobo, and now you’re doing it for Aleksandr as well… we aren’t your kids, but you’ve always made us feel like we are. You’ve always believed in us more than we did ourselves.”"

"Mothers have no armor to get them through life because they give every last bit to their children, by the end of their teenage years there isn’t even any skin left, so every feeling of loss cuts right into her flesh now."

"“What are you even doing HERE, you crazy kid?” he yelled.

“I wanted to watch the game but Sune didn’t want to, so I came ON MY OWN!” Alicia snapped back, trying to sound angry even though she was actually terrified.

Benji reached down and lifted her out of the chaos, and is now carrying her as if she was his little girl. She has her arms wrapped around him like she’s always been his, clinging on like seaweed to a body that’s just stepped out of the sea."

"Like all parents, he just dreams of his children having things a bit better than him, a bit easier, but there’s no way to protect them against the world. We can’t even protect them from themselves. So he closes his eyes and thinks that if Hannah is right, if the boy in this bed really is going to turn out like his dad, then there’s only one thing for Johnny to do.

To become better."

"Benji thinks of something Ramona once said: “Men are scared of telescopes, you can’t look at the stars without shitting your pants because you can’t think about how big the universe is without seeing how small you are in comparison. Nothing scares a man more than the thought that everything he does might lack all meaning.”"

"“Just stick around this time, promise?” Bobo repeats.

Benji shakes his head.

“No, no, I’m not going to do that. But I’ll try not to forget to come back home.”

“I fucking love you,” Bobo whispers, and the best thing about him is that he makes no attempt at all to laugh it off with a “but not like that.” He’s more than capable of just loving someone, the gentle giant.

Benji smiles.

“I love you too. But not like that, so don’t go getting any ideas.”"

"Because one of the very worst things we will ever do in this forest is to try to tell our daughters that girls like Ruth are the exception. That isn’t true, of course. It’s Maya who is the exception. That’s why those who do that, those who get the slightest bit of retribution or an ounce of justice, call themselves “survivors.” Because they know the truth about all the girls like Ruth."

"Ruth left the country exactly two and a half years ago, just after what happened with Maya and Kevin became public knowledge. Maya had gone to the police and the whole town had turned against her. Everything was going to change in time, but no one knew that then. Ruth didn’t stay to find out what happened. She had been through all that herself a few months earlier, she knew what this forest did to girls like her and Maya.

Shoot. Dig. Silence."

"You never get the same kind of friends again like you have when you’re a teenager. Not even if you keep them your whole life. It will never be the same as it was then."

"For her the rape went on forever but for him it never even started. For the rest of his life he could never understand that he was a rapist. He thought he was a hero."

"In her diary Ruth wrote:

When girls start primary school and the boys hit us and pull our hair during breaks and we go to an adult and ask for help, the adults say: The boys are only doing that because they like you!! That’s how you teach boys that they have rights over us. Then we get bigger and then they rape us but we’re just stupid little whores because we don’t take it as a COMPLIMENT? They beat us and kill us but it’s only because they like us. Why don’t we understand that?

On the next page it says:

didn’t even fuck that other guy in Hed but he told everyone I did and that meant I was already a whore. And whores can’t get raped."

"On one of the last pages she wrote:

I’ve got no chance if even my own parents don’t believe me. Why would the police believe me then? Why would anyone? You aren’t going to believe me until Rodri kills me."

"On the very last page, in shaky handwriting, she wrote:

Parents always think they have to talk to their daughters about guys. We shouldn’t wear short skirts and shouldn’t go out alone and shouldn’t get drunk and shouldn’t let guys like us too much. But you don’t have to talk to us about guys because we already know all that, for fuck’s sake, because we’re the ones they rape!! Talk to your damn sons instead!!! Teach them to talk to one another and teach them to stop one another. Raise just one fucking boy somewhere who can become a head teacher who understands that when boys pull girls by the hair, it’s the fucking boys there’s something wrong with. Tell your sons that if they have to THINK about whether or not they’ve had sex with a girl who didn’t want it, then they HAVE!!! If you can’t understand if the girl you’re having sex with wants it or not, then you’ve never had fucking sex with a girl who wants it. Stop telling your daughters. We already know it all."

"Ruth never went back to the police. The young man at the station waited. Perhaps he hated himself afterward for not doing more. Perhaps he managed to suppress it. Everyone like him is just trying to do their job. They all say they’re just following the law. It’s just that laws aren’t written for girls like Ruth. They’re written against her."

"“Don’t worry.”

“I’m your mother, you can’t stop me!”

Maya smiles in such a way that it’s impossible to know if she’s about to make a joke or start crying.

“I’m sorry that what Kevin did to me almost broke you and Dad.”

Now it’s Kira’s turn to look like she’s about to cry.

“Darling, it didn’t do…”

Maya nods, so grown-up and so strong, so honest and vulnerable.

“Yes, Mom. It did. Your love was like organ donation. You and Dad and Leo gave me pieces of your hearts and lungs and skeletons so I could put myself back together again. And now you hardly have the strength to stand up and keep breathing yourselves. I think about that so often, and I think about all the girls who don’t have you. I feel like I only just managed to survive this. How the hell does everyone who doesn’t have you as their mom even stand a chance?”

Good luck having a daughter and not going to pieces when you hear that."

"Something about the bright, unadorned enthusiasm on his face makes Amat curious. The former general manager leads him away from the apartment blocks, toward the forest at the edge of the old quarry, and doesn’t stop until they reach a large, open space where there was once talk of building a supermarket. Then they said it might be a medical center. At one point someone even dreamed of a small business center. None of it ever came to be, of course, because this isn’t the part of Beartown where things get built. The town may be getting bigger, but nothing grows in the Hollow.

“There!” Peter says, pointing at absolutely nothing.

“I… I don’t understand…,” Amat says, seeing nothing but snow and gravel.

Peter sees something else. He sees redemption."

"Amat looks so tall, suddenly, as if he’s grown taller than Peter overnight. Peter laughs. Everything is only a dream so far. He doesn’t know if he dares actually believe he can get this done. But Beartown is a special place. What a fucking town. There are so many places and things here that have strange names whose origins everyone has forgotten.

In a few years hardly anyone will remember why the ice rink beyond the apartment blocks and gravel pit in the poorest part of town is always called “the Cathedral.” But the man who dreamed it up knows, and the boy who one day scores his first goal in the NHL knows. He’ll be interviewed on television afterward:

“Do you want to say something to everyone watching in your hometown? How do you pronounce it? You’re from Beartown, aren’t you?” the reporter on the other side of the Atlantic will ask.

Amat will look directly into the camera and say: “No. I’m from the Hollow.”"

"“What am I supposed to do? Stay here and get rich? I don’t even like expensive wine. I’m going with you. Wherever you go.”

Maya sits there and watches the two middle-aged women hug, and thinks that when she gets old, really, really, really old, she hopes she’s just as crazy as they are."

"Kira locks the office. In a few months’ time she will surrender those keys and hand the whole business over to some of the employees, and she will sell her expensive car. The new law firm’s first office will be her kitchen. One day women throughout the country will know who they are. That too is a sort of cathedral."

"The game is about to start, but it will never be played. Instead, now everything that we will never stop regretting starts. Every single person in the ice rink will go over and over these minutes for the rest of their lives, asking silently: “Could I have done anything different? Something small, something microscopic, anything at all? Could I have stopped him?”

We’re on our way into a night when we question everything we have ever done, all that we are, and the entire society that we’ve built. Because what is it? The whole lot of it? Only the sum of all our choices. Only the result of us. Can we cope with the way it turned out?"

"This hockey game will never be played, and for many of us it will feel as if we never really emerge from the ice rink. We will be stuck in the nightmare forever. We are a people who tell stories, who try to use stories to put what we have experienced into some sort of context, to explain what we have been fighting about in the hope that it will excuse what we have done. But stories reveal both the very best of us and the very worst, and can one ever outweigh the other? Are our triumphs greater than our mistakes? What are we responsible for? What are we guilty of? Can we look ourselves in the mirror tomorrow? Can we look each other in the eye?"

"Lev never had children of his own, almost his entire family died in a war the rest of the world didn’t even call a war. He has seen good people capable of great evil, but also terrible people capable of great goodness. It’s the same everywhere: almost everyone loves too much, hates too easily, forgives too little. But most people want the same as him: to live in peace, to let your heart beat a little more slowly when night comes, to earn a bit of money to support the ones you love."

"It’s like a cruel joke, as if God wants to point out that He can do what He likes with us. Unless this is the opposite: His penance.

As two cherished lives end over in the ice rink, the twins’ hearts start to beat in Hannah’s arms. Two childhoods begin. Beep-bo. Tickles and helpless giggling. Climbing trees. Puddles and boots that are too big. Ice on the lake. A million ice creams. Whisper-shouts from parents on the phone when you’re playing with a ball indoors. Swings. Best friends. First love."

"Matteo is dead before his body hits the floor.

But so is Benji."

"Everyone who knew Benjamin Ovich, particularly those of us who knew him well enough to call him Benji, would have wished him a really long story. A secure life. A happy ending. We hoped, oh, how we hoped, but deep down we probably knew that he wasn’t the sort who would get that. Because he was always the sort of person who stood in the way, the sort who protected, the sort who ran. He always thought he was the bad guy in all stories, the real heroes always do, that’s why stories about boys like him never end with them growing old. Stories about boys like him only end with us no longer dreaming of time machines, because if one was ever invented in the distant future, it would already have been used to travel back here by someone who loved him.

There are so many of us.”

"We can’t fight against evil. That’s the most unbearable thing about the world we have built. Evil can’t be eradicated, can’t be locked up, the more violence we use against it, the stronger it becomes when it seeps out under doors and through keyholes. It can never disappear because it grows inside us, sometimes even in the best of us, sometimes even in fourteen-year-olds. We have no weapons against it. We have only been given love as a gift in order to cope with it."

"Maya wishes she could stop shaking, she wishes she could hold the girl tighter, that she could hug away all the shock and despair and all the terrible darkness that will never leave either of them now. But she doesn’t know how, she isn’t big enough, isn’t strong enough. She can’t breathe, she’s gasping for air, trying to think away the blood and death on the floor in there and she needs to be strong for the child’s sake. But how do you do that? Where do you find the strength? She doesn’t have it. She’s certain she’s going to collapse on the ground in the snow when she feels two arms around her own shoulders. It’s her mother. Kira didn’t run toward the fire, she ran after the children. Behind her comes Tess and soon other women will come, from all directions, in red and green jackets, some even in black. They wrap their arms around each other, in circles, ring after ring, forming a wall around Alicia.

Nothing that happens to the girl in the rest of her life will ever be worse than this. But in the very worst moment, in the midst of the greatest terror, mothers and big sisters from the whole forest ran here to protect her.

No one can fight against evil. But if it wants to take Alicia, it’s going to have to go through every last one of them first."

"We have gotten used to so many types of violence, but we could never foresee this one. This one we will never understand. This one we will never get over. Adri picks up her brother and he feels so small in her arms. She carries him out of the ice rink and the whole town stops breathing. A hole in every heart.

How will the sun rise tomorrow? How can daylight still exist? What is the point?"

"Good people can be capable of great evil, and evil people can be capable of great good."

"Maya will remember how incomprehensible it was that the sun even rose on the day after Benji’s death. That she was still alive. That she kept going. But she understands her parents, for the first time, really understands them. How they learned to cry inwardly when Isak died. Silently, silently they cried for years so that Maya and Leo wouldn’t hear. How the very air must have hurt their skin. How they must have wanted to lie down with their cheeks to the ground and whisper into the grass to the child beneath it. How they must have hated themselves for not being able to die with him.

How many of all the things they have done since then have been their attempts to achieve something important, something grand, something worth getting to Heaven late for? Almost everything.

It’s unbearable that the sun rises again, that Maya is here and not Benji, for the rest of her life she will stop almost daily and think: “Would he be proud of me? Have I lived a worthy life? Been a good enough person?” Because of course that’s all she is, all everyone she grew up with in Beartown is: hopelessly simple but horribly complicated. Ordinary, unusual people. Unusually ordinary people. We try to just live our lives, live with each other, live with ourselves. Accepting joy when we find it, bearing grief when it finds us, and being amazed at our children’s happiness without falling apart when we think that we can never really protect them."

"She will say that we’re just trying to live, damn it. Live in spite of each other. Live for each other.

Live on."

"Soon millions of people will know Maya’s name, but every night she will only be singing for Benji. Not all her songs will be about him, but they will all be his, somehow, even the ones that are Ana’s. One evening, several years from now, Maya will be so famous that she’ll be performing in one of the biggest arenas in the whole country. It will be sold out. The first time she steps out into it she will realize what it is used for when concerts aren’t being held there. It’s an ice rink. It’s the biggest moment in her career, and she cries her way through every song."

"When Benji is buried, it isn’t in a church with open doors but under the bare sky. Two entire towns turn up. The notification in the newspaper is superfluous, everyone knows the time and the place already, even the factory closes, but beneath Benji’s name is printed what everyone is feeling:

This hurts too much to touch with words."

"Their brother is laid to rest beside their father, not far from Ramona and Vidar. Around here we usually say that we bury our children under our most beautiful trees, but not even the best among us can find a tree beautiful enough to watch over Benjamin Ovich. So we grow new ones, all around the stone bearing his name, we let Alicia and other children plant them in the soil so that they grow up around him. Until he is no longer sleeping in a churchyard, but where he was always safest and happiest. In a forest."

"Are you scared? Someone who loves you wanted to know.

I said: Oh no—he’s in a different form though

Because the grave’s only a place for memory

The earth around his coffin isn’t where he’ll be.

Where you are now I cannot say

You’re not here, you’ve gone away.

There’s a folding chair by the water and there

I think you sit and laugh and feel a love so rare.

There’s ice around your island, you’ve got your skates,

There goes a boy whose beauty never fades.

You’re playing a game, don’t even feel cold,

There plays a boy who’ll never grow old.

You’re everything you wanted to be

You’re safe and happy, wild and free.

I don’t know where you are now my friend

But in a hundred years we’ll meet again."

"It’s that sort of town, where everything can change and the people can be transformed. Where we find the strength to play even though our lungs are screaming. Possibly because we’re used to withstanding the darkness, both inside and outside. Possibly because we live close to wilderness. But perhaps most of all because, just like everyone else in every other place: If we don’t have tomorrow, what’s the alternative?"

"There are many types of leadership, the sort Big City, Amat, and Bobo demonstrate this year isn’t the sort that goes forward, but rather goes backward. Back to everything we are. Sometimes the greatest leadership is knowing the way home."

"Elisabeth Zackell becomes a famous coach. She wins hundreds of games. She wins leagues, titles, and trophies. The only thing she never really wins back is that first, uncomplicated joy. Hockey never really becomes a game for her again. But one day in many years’ time she will coach a national team, the one Alicia plays on, and then Zackell will make an exception to her strictest rule.

She lets someone play with the number 16 again. For one single game.

Alicia gets up from the bench in the locker room and leads her team out and storms the ice, and Zackell watches her and for a single moment forgets that it isn’t him."

"“I’m proud of you,” she whispers to her brother.

“I’m proud of you too,” he whispers back.

Leo will do great things in life, he will go far and give her every reason to really be proud of him. She’s just being proud in advance. That’s the job of big sisters."

"What is life, other than moments? What is laughter, other than a small victory over sorrow? A single moment, just one, when everything inside us isn’t broken."

"Maya sings for thousands of people in hundreds of arenas over the years when she’s grown up, but mostly she sings for herself and the best friends she had as a child. One day Ana takes her up in the helicopter, rising straight up into the sky. They take the girls with them, the girls they used to be, two laughing kids they wish they could go back in time and protect. They pick them up off the ground in the forest and hide them inside their jackets and the rotor blades spin and they fly far above the earth. High and free."

"She doesn’t forgive, doesn’t forget, but she doesn’t use violence just because she can. She doesn’t destroy Kevin’s life even though he deserves it. She spares him.

But Kevin’s wife will ask him who that woman was. Kevin takes a series of terror-filled breaths, but eventually he is too weighed down to carry the lies, so he whispers the truth. Everything. The whole of the reality he has constructed since that night in Beartown collapses around him inside that car. He loses everything.

Can he be forgiven? Can he be spared? Allowed to have a life?"

"Spring comes, and summer. It’s almost unbearable. But then autumn arrives, as brief as the blink of an eye, before winter finally hits us again. Life doesn’t go on, it starts again, everything is possible once more. Anything can happen, all the best and all the most beautiful and all the biggest adventures in the world."

"Early, early in the morning the caretaker opens the door to the ice rink and turns the lights on. Alicia looks so lonely and small as she skates out onto the ice, but she isn’t, she’s bigger than everyone and never alone again. She lies down in the center circle and looks up at the roof. When she closes her eyes and reaches out her fingers she hurts in so many places inside, but there and then she doesn’t feel anything, because Benji is lying beside her and soon a new hockey season will begin and everything can still be okay. Throughout the whole of her long career, in every ice rink and in every national game, she will do the same thing every time she gets scared or nervous: look up at the roof, reach out her hand, feel that he is there. Because Benjamin Ovich isn’t in a grave. Benjamin Ovich is at the game with his best friend."

"It’s easy to love hockey then, because hockey isn’t the past, it isn’t yesterday, it’s always next. The next change of line, the next game, the next season, the next generation, the next magical moment when something we didn’t think was possible becomes a miracle. The next chance to fly up from your seat and yell with joy. Next."

"Her hundred years will be our very best, most loved, most told story. And that says a hell of a lot, because we’re a hockey town. We have nothing but stories here. But all our stories have really only been about one thing: ever since the very first, about a boy who made it all the way from here to the NHL and came back with his family, about his daughter who found the best friend in the world, about a terrible crime and love that was like organ donation. About tears and struggle, about hugs and laughter, about a stage and a guitar and thousands of people in the audience. About a boy who was born in a place that had never seen ice but who one day could move faster on skates than anyone else, about other children who became the best in other ways, about the boy who became a coach and the ones who became parents and the girl who flies a helicopter to save the whole world. About a young man who could never see himself as a hero but who died like one, who ran toward fire to save a child. About families and friends. About climbing trees and adventures. About a vast forest and two small towns and all the people here who are just trying to live their lives. Sit in a boat. Tell lies. Catch zero fish."

At the end of this book... Was Backman hinting that there will be another trilogy about Alicia? God, how I hope it's true. Give me more Beartown stories please, and how Amat gets into the NHL and how he's doing in NHL, how Maya gets into her stardom, how Ana goes after her aspiration of being an ambulance helicopter pilot, how Bobo becomes a dad, and about everyone else too.

It took me almost a full month's time to make this review, and I think it's because I was trying so hard to properly say goodbye to this book series. It's ridiculous how much love I have for this book series, but as Backman wrote in the book:

"But if anyone can understand the unbridled, unreasonable love you can feel for an animal, it’s probably men who have been told all their lives that they love something more than they should: “But it’s only hockey.”

The Pack feels precisely everything, precisely all the time. They know that the extent of grief isn’t measured by what you’ve lost but by who you are. They have imagination. So much imagination, in fact, that the very thought of losing something they can’t live without makes them lethal."

And it's exactly how I feel about saying goodbye to this trilogy.

But here we are now, this trilogy is finally completed and, like it or not, I have to say goodbye to Beartown. It's bittersweet, because I love this trilogy so much, but now the wait is finally over and there's no more nights staying up late wondering about what's gonna happen to my favorite characters. I just have to let those wonderful characters go and rest now.

I'm reminded of these quotes from the brilliant TV Show, The Good Place, about letting go and moving on, and it helped me tremendously:

Eleanor Shellstrop: "Working out the terms of moral justification is an unending task." That's what I was thinking about. That sentence.

...

Eleanor Shellstrop: The whole book is about how we should try to find rules other people can't reasonably reject, and then he ends it by saying, "The search for how to find these rules will go on forever." I proposed a rule that Chidis shouldn't be allowed to leave because it would make Eleanors sad. And I could do this forever, zip you around the universe showing you cool stuff... and I'd still never find the justification for getting you to stay. Because it's a selfish rule. I owe it to you to let you go.

Chidi Anagonye: Picture a wave in the ocean. You can see it, measure it - its height, the way the sunlight refracts as it passes through - and it's there, you can see it, and you know what it is, it's a wave. And then it crashes on the shore and it's gone. But the water is still there. The wave was just... a different way for the water to be for a little while. That's one conception of death for a Buddhist: the wave returns to the ocean, where it came from and where it's meant to be.

Janet: What do you think happens when people walk through the door? It's the only thing in the universe I don't know.

Eleanor Shellstrop: I don't know either. The wave returns to the ocean. What the ocean does with the water after that is anyone's guess. But as a very wise not-robot once told me, the true joy's in the mystery.

This trilogy truly has given me so many wonderful gifts apart from the story and the characters themselves, it made me learn Swedish, and it introduced me to Ice Hockey, which I am now obsessed with. It's very hard for me to say goodbye to this trilogy and all of my favorite characters in this trilogy, but I know I'll always be reminded of them whenever I study Swedish and watch Hockey, I'll always be looking for Benji, Amat, Maya, Ana and Bobo in my studies and every hockey games I watch.

I do hope that there will be a TV show adaptation of the full trilogy, one that is more faithful to the books, because I think they are perfect just the way they are.

Thank you so much for such an amazing ride with this trilogy, Backman.

PLOT - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

WRITING STYLE - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

ENTERTAINMENT LEVEL PAIN LEVEL- 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

BOOK COVER DESIGN - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

OVERALL BOOK RATING - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[unloading1963]

“But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality:” 2 Corinthians 8:14 (KJV) God is always good and His mercies endure forever. He created the world in a special way; the beauty of God can be seen in His creation (Psalm 19:1–3). Just go out there and look in the sky and see how beautiful it is. Even the way God created your own body is too awesome to always give Him thanks. In spite of all these gifts, He has created human beings not to be sufficient in themselves. Beloved, there is something that each of us lacks, which can be supplied by another person. God has planned this so that we can relate to one another and help one another (Romans 12:10). Therefore, don’t be wicked toward your brother or sister if you can supply what they need because one day you will also be in need and will ask for help. God wants us to live equally and the church is the place He has created to initiate this process of equality. May the Lord give you the grace to meet someone’s needs. Hallelujah. You Are A Blessing! Prayer Point: My Abba Father, thank You for educating me about the need to help one another. Indeed, we are not sufficient in ourselves but need help in one way or another. Please help us to draw closer to one another and help one another so that we can grow and enlarge to touch many lives in Jesus’ name. Amen! https://www.instagram.com/p/CmEVo4ROwFk-XjuXFA5nw3zjatZ7yLVGHDtTaE0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[krwzprtt]

Music Ask

Rules: put your "on repeat" playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs, then tag some people.

I've been tagged by @garnetrena who seems to think I actually have a musical culture, despite evidence to the contrary.

OK so I don't have a deezer or spotify account, so this'll just be the stuff that comes out of my phone's music library.

1 : Starman by David Bowie - A big case of "heard it in too many movies and trailers" disease. Still a banger.

2 : Les filles de Redon by Tri Yann - Oof, gotta remove that one. It's not bad, but really not my favorite

3 : Veridis Quo by Daft Punk - I'm not a big fan of Daft Punk usually, but I fucking love the mood this one brings.

4 : New Adventure from the A Hat in Time OST - Fun fact : I listen to that one every morning during commute.

5 : Carless Whisper by George Michael - Eh, can't forget the classics. Might remove it in the near future though

6 : An Alarc'h by Tri Yann - This song fucking slaps. Fun fact : it's in britton, a regional language. Like a significant part of Tri Yann's discography, come to think of it.

7 : A Man after Midnight by ABBA - OK, I'll admit. I'm a basic bitch.

8 : Frog's Lullaby from the Over the Garden Wall OST - Funny thing is, this isn't the weirdest piece of OST I have on my library.

9 : Escape by Rupert Holmes - Again, basic bitch.

10 : Le Renard by Tri Yann - You might think "3 songs by the same band on a single sample? Truely she must have a lot of those in her playlist". And you would be right. Tri Yann is awesome and I'm not apologizing for it.

And I tag @catrinecat, @zooops and @grime-the-great (oh hey, changed url again? won't complain, Grime is indeed great). Nothing mandatory, of course.

[wesleyhill]

The Throne, the Coal, and the Voice

A homily on Isaiah 6:1-8, Psalm 29, Romans 8:12-17, and John 3:1-17, preached at Trinity Cathedral, Pittsburgh, on Trinity Sunday 2021

“In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the LORD sitting on a throne, high and lofty; and the hem of his robe filled the temple.”

May I speak to you in the Name of God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

In the eighth century BC, in ancient Israel, in the kingdom of Judah, there was a king whose actions became a warning to subsequent generations to tremble with fear and awe in the presence of God.

The king’s name was Uzziah, and at first — like so many new rulers who take the reins of power aware of their deep need for wise counsel and due caution for their awesome task — Uzziah was humble. But, as Israel’s Chronicler records, “when he had become strong he grew proud, to his destruction” (2 Chronicles 26:16).

Contrary to the law of Moses, King Uzziah bypassed the priests and approached the incense altar in the temple to bear the censer himself. The priests objected and tried to intervene, but Uzziah forged ahead anyway. He scoffed at the priests who stood in his way, and just at that moment a skin disease broke out on his forehead, right there in front of the altar. Then the Chronicler tells us: “When the chief priest Azariah, and all the priests, looked at [Uzziah], he was leprous in his forehead. They hurried him out, and he himself hurried to get out, because the LORD had struck him” (26:20). And he remained so struck until the day he died.

Like every other story, no matter how seemingly bizarre, in the Old Testament, this is ultimately a story about God — about the sheer mysterious otherness of God. The God we meet in this story of King Uzziah’s folly is a God of power and glory who will not be approached flippantly or arrogantly: “he [scatters] the proud in the thoughts of their hearts. He [brings] down the powerful from their thrones” (Luke 1:51-2). This God is holy — He is “set apart,” lofty and exalted, morally pure (whose “eyes are too pure to behold evil,” as one of Israel’s prophets says [Habakkuk 1:13]), resplendent and radiant with eternal life and light: in a word, transcendent. As the book of Hebrews in the New Testament tells us, “indeed our God is a consuming fire” (12:29).

In the year that the proud and reckless King Uzziah died, with the skin disease he received in the temple still spread across his forehead, one of Israel’s greatest prophets received a vision of this fiery, holy, transcendent God. Isaiah the prophet says: “In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the LORD sitting on a throne, high and lofty; and the hem of his robe filled the temple.”

In the year that yet one more brash and arrogant human ruler passed away, his pride being no help at all against the inevitable forces of decay and death, Isaiah sees the God who remains unrivaled, sovereign, majestic, unchanging, impervious to the fleeting schemes of would-be usurpers.

No one can see this God and live, the Bible says, and yet somehow Isaiah is granted a vision of the LORD. He sees into the inner court of the heavenly temple: “I saw the LORD sitting on a throne, high and lofty; and the hem of his robe filled the temple.” And he sees fiery angelic creatures attending God’s throne: “Seraphs were in attendance above him; each had six wings: with two they covered their faces, and with two they covered their feet, and with two they flew.” And Isaiah hears their voices calling out to each other like the pulsing of an earthquake:

“Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory.”

This chorus is so thunderous that Isaiah adds, “The pivots on the thresholds shook at the voices of those who called, and the house filled with smoke.”

And just like so many other characters in the pages of the Bible who encounter God’s searing holiness, Isaiah’s first response to this heavenly vision is to be instantly aware of how unworthy he is — more than that, how doomed he is because of his impurity, his complicity in the evil of his nation. “Woe is me!” he cries. “I am lost, for I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; yet my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!” It is not only King Uzziah who is guilty before God: it is Isaiah, and it is all the people of Judah — it is, in fact, all the world, including you and me. As we think of God’s radiant, fiery holiness, aren’t we instantly confronted with the wreckage of our lives? Aren’t we like Peter when he came face to face with Jesus’ divine power and said, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” (Luke 5:9)?

“Woe is me!” If we were dealing with any other god, that would be the end of the story. Isaiah sees into the inner sanctum of God’s holy, fiery throne room, and he is undone by it. We are undone by it. But — contrary to all just deserts and all expected outcomes — that is not the end of this story.

Isaiah says that after he protested his unworthiness, “one of the seraphs flew to me, holding a live coal that had been taken from the altar with a pair of tongs. The seraph touched my mouth with it and said: ‘Now that this has touched your lips, your guilt has departed and your sin is blotted out.’”

Rather than being obliterated by the blazing holiness of God’s life, Isaiah is touched and made pure by it himself, made to share in God’s radiant purity, with fire from the divine altar. The white heat of God’s holiness does not destroy Isaiah but delivers him instead. The coal taken from God’s presence does not consume Isaiah but cleanses him. The sacred fire that touches Isaiah’s lips does not abandon him in his guilt and sin but absolves him — sets him free to live and speak in trust and hope.

Alexander Pushkin, the celebrated nineteenth-century Russian poet, once wrote a poem about this scene from Isaiah, and he pictures the coal not only touching Isaiah’s lips but reaching into his innermost self:

[God] split my chest with a blade, Wrenched my heart from its hiding, And into the open wound Pressed a flaming coal. (Ted Hughes trans.)

This heart surgery, where the poet sees the winged seraph invading Isaiah’s life with the burning coal of God’s presence, is what the prophet Ezekiel foresaw when he prophesied: “A new heart I will give you [the LORD says to Israel], and a new spirit I will put within you; and I will remove from your body your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. I will put my spirit within you” (Ezekiel 36:26-27). The flaming coal that Pushkin sees pressed into Isaiah’s heart is nothing other than what John the Baptist foresaw when he said about Jesus, “He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire” (Matthew 3:11). The LORD who is lofty and exalted, who inhabits eternity, draws near to us who are lost, ruined, guilty, mortal. He touches us, cleanses us, forgives us, burns away our sin, and makes our hearts aflame with life and love by the fiery presence of His Spirit, the One Whom we name in the Creed as “the Lord, the giver of life.”

After the coal has touched his lips, Isaiah says, “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I; send me!’” Isaiah is not only touched to the depth of his being by God’s cleansing fire; he also hears God speak. He hears God’s voice. And as the rest of his prophecy makes clear, that divine voice conveyed to him God’s Word for the people of God. God speaks and sends Isaiah as His prophet to deliver His Word to us who cannot live without it. “The voice of the LORD is a powerful voice; the voice of the LORD is a voice of splendor” (Psalm 29:4).

This Word that God gives to Isaiah to speak to the people of Judah is the same powerful Word by which God brought the universe into being. It is the same Word that was with God in the beginning, the Word Who was God. It is the same Word Who became flesh and lived among us, full of grace and truth. It is the same Word Who said, “The Father has sent me… God sent his Son into the world… that through him the world might be saved” (John 20:21; 3:17, NEB). That Word is the human being Jesus, God in human flesh, God’s voice for us, God’s self-communication, God’s ultimate self-revealing. And what He says to us is, “I absolve you. Your sins are forgiven. Peace be with you. Behold, I make all things new. Believe in Me.”

According to the writer of the Fourth Gospel, what Isaiah saw when he saw the LORD of Israel high on His throne, reaching out to sinful humanity with His cleansing fire, speaking to sinful humanity with His judging and saving Word — what Isaiah saw was none other than the glory of the God we know and worship and call out to as the Father, “the maker of heaven of earth,” who sent His eternal Word, Jesus Christ, His only Son our Lord, to reconcile us to Himself, and the Holy Spirit, who pours God’s love into our hearts and by Whom we cry out, “Abba! Father!”: “Isaiah said [what he said] because he saw [Jesus’] glory and spoke about him” (8:41).

To Him, therefore, with the Father and the Spirit, one God in three Persons, be ascribed, as is most justly due, all might, dominion, majesty, and power, now and forever. Amen.

[onaf]

Of Dogs and Children

Believers in Christ have their hang-ups, their own theological baggage when it comes to the faith. This doesn’t always come in the form of outright denial of the core tenets of the Christian religion. But it can mean there are teachings that are quick to be absorbed mentally, yet slow to penetrate the heart.

For me, one of the most difficult things to understand at heart about Christ is how He condescends to sinners like myself. When I read Matthew 11: 28-30, Christ’s character takes on a peculiar timbre:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

To some, this may be an inconsequential passage. But I wonder how one can think that! What is easier for me to understand is that Christ - the One through whom the universe was created - has authority to judge the living and the dead. It isn’t hard for me to accept how He performed miracles, for what is difficult for the Christ? Theophanies? Old Testament prophecies about Jesus? Awesome!

But a Christ that is lowly? A savior that is gentle when with but one word He could annihilate all that is unholy (namely myself)? A King to whom I am - by rights - condemned forever, but gave Himself as a ransom for me? More food for thought from Hebrews 4:14-16...

“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

I think many of us can understand that God would be a righteous judge against ungodliness, that He has wrath against sin, that He wields great power, and that He is holy. But I hope I’m not alone in finding His closeness to the downtrodden, the fallen, and the broken as being really hard to wrap my mind around!

This is a deeply practical problem. You can’t divorce theological conviction from how you live your daily life. Finding Christ’s meekness a difficult concept to absorb, I sometimes lean toward an imbalanced life. Without meditating enough on Christ’s mercy and sympathy to the struggles of a wicked man like myself, I gravitate more toward what I believe I do understand: my wretchedness.

What do you get when you have a believer who understands that he is a sinner deserving of eternal judgement but struggles to accept that he is a recipient of mercy? Though his heart yearns for Christ and His righteousness, a lie makes the honest truths seem beyond reach. The lie is: your redemption is insignificant.

A heart in this condition is divided. The honest hope of this man is truly in Christ, and his salvation has been secured already by the grace of God. But a pernicious untruth has craned the neck of this believer to look inward at the remaining filthiness of sin and to believe this to be the most accurate representation of his state. The Spirit-led part of his heart hopes for the Kingdom of God, but - since his focus has been on the irredeemable sin of his flesh - he has been convinced that the honest hopes of his heart are actually born of self-deception. It is a confusion of the highest order, one that prevents a Christian from living out his true calling with his undivided attention - and a confusion with which I am well-acquainted.

In short, instead of believing that I am a child of God by grace, a fallen part of me condemns me as if I was not. So, in my weaker moments, my heart resorts to an unholy compromise: that perhaps I am welcome in the house of God, but only as a dog. I may be in the dining room, but I only lay on the floor and eat the crumbs from the table while others more worthy garner God’s more rapt attention.

Matthew 15:24-28 says...

“He answered, ‘I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.’ But she came and knelt before Him, saying, ‘Lord, help me.’ And He answered, ‘It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.’ She said ‘Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.’ Then Jesus answered her, ‘O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.’ And her daughter was healed instantly.”

There’s a theme there that I grabbed onto a long time ago. I knew that I had been bought with a price, the Lord wouldn’t let me forget that. But my heart refused to unfocus from my sinful nature. It instead used this passage in Matthew and keep me where I didn’t belong. The mistake in my thinking was that Christ redeemed me who was dead in my trespasses and sins (Eph. 2:1) and made me a dog - a second rate, quasi-Christian. For the hopeless, going from being dead to being a dog isn’t that bad of a deal. Unless you know better, it’s a great deal. From being cast into outer darkness to at least being in your gracious masters’ dining room is a worthy trade! Everyone knows, however, a dog has no share in the inheritance of the master's children.

But this falls short of what the Bible teaches. To settle for being a dog is a tragedy when, in reality, you’ve been adopted as a son or daughter! The obsession with relegating oneself to the station of a cur is to, in reality, choose to disbelieve the promises of God. It is a tacit allegation of dishonesty on God’s part - saying that He is either not that mighty to save or that your sin makes you an exception to the redemptive rule. This is faithlessness hidden under the veil of fake piety.

Consider the following:

“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”  Luke 19:10

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.”  Romans 8:1-2

But most importantly, this:

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died - more than that, who was raised - who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, ‘For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.’ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:31-39

To say to your own soul that the best God did for you was to bring you from death to a grudgingly-awarded spot on the floor in His general vicinity (with the unspoken threat of expulsion for the slightest mistake) is to do violence to His mighty ability to bring about your salvation (Zeph. 3:17). Why does my heart insist on its own harm by attempting to shackle God’s redemptive work?

One of the greatest resources I’ve encountered lately in dealing with this struggle is found in The Bruised Reed, by the Puritan Richard Sibbes. A great quote here:

“If Christ should not be merciful to our weaknesses, He should not have a people to serve Him. Suppose therefore we are very weak, yet so long as we are not found amongst malicious opposers and underminers of God’s truth, let us not give way to despairing thoughts; we have a merciful Saviour.” (pg. 58)

Even to those who are in Christ but find themselves in sin - as we do all too often - there is hope. Sibbes continues:

“What course shall such take to recover their peace? They must condemn themselves sharply, and yet cast themselves upon God’s mercy in Christ, as at their first conversion. And now they must embrace Christ the more firmly, as they see more need in themselves; and let them remember the mildness of Christ here, that He will not quench the smoking flax.” (pg. 60)

Through these struggles, I have learned some things:

Christ is indeed lowly enough in heart so as to understand our weakness and not despise it.

The redemption that true believers find in Him is no lie, it is not done by half measures - since it is with the death and resurrection of Christ’s whole body that we have been purchased. Thus, the redemption is total, to be fully seen in due time.

To doubt one’s standing with God after being redeemed by Christ is to accuse Him of being less than He is. Do you believe Him to be an effective Savior? Then you must trust that He is qualified to save!

When a sinner is saved by grace, it is to no small and insignificant station. Consider the following:

“For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’ The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.”  Romans 8:15-17

Where, then, is there room for God’s children to act as though they are just dogs at the dining room table?

[hellothere-generalangsty]

ALRIGHT LET'S DO THIS

Thank you again for tagging me! 🌊

Friends on the Other Side - Annapantsu

WOW HER VOICE IS AMAZING

I agree she does get into the character soooo well!! Love the way she pushes her voice it's incredible! Love love love LOVE IT + the lovie is awesome too so that mzke it double, big YES for me!

Slipping Through My Fingers - ABBA

Hoooo I don't know much of ABBA (apart from the very famous ones you know) but this one I like a lot! They have a nice musical signature, I love the way their voices work with the instruments!

It's a good kind of sad, the one I would go back to!

Songs of Storms - Celestial Alignment

Sooooo soothing and chill, really like it! Overall video games' songs are usually very nice to listen to, they always get these Chill Vibes that get you hooked for hours; and this one is no different!

Also... 👏 I see what you did here, I feel like you're proud of yourself (as you should coz that was funny xD)

I'm actually listening to the 40 minutes video while writing this review and it's sooo pleasing omg also fun fact I've only played one Gale of Zelda and it was on my DS and it was Phantom something (of the Hourglass) and I loved this game sooo much I still have it

Lay All Your Love On Me - Cast Of Mamma Mia The Movie

OMG THOSE VOCALS

I LOVE IT THAT'S AWESOME

The rhythm is soooo cool omg it's so catchy and the 70s Vibes?? I'M HERE FOR IT

1 step forward, 3 step back [clean] - Olivia Rodrigo

I LOVE YOU FOR RECOMMENDING HER TO ME LIKE WATCH ME LISTEN TO THIS ON REPEAT

Also I am low-key in love with this woman as a whole; she's so pretty and her voice is so beautiful and the cover is beautiful and THAT CHORUS

Moony. Soft Moony. Words cannot express how grateful I am for these recommendations.

Thriller - Michael Jackson

OF COURSE THRILLER

OF COURSE

Fun story about me and this song; when I was younger my mom would let me watch it on the computer while my lil sis was sleeping because she was too young to watch the clip you know, and so everytime I would put that song on YouTube and dance along on the chair

Here's a childhood anecdote from your local Frenchie~

And like. I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAID

I was a MJ addict when I was a kid no joke 😂

Castaways - The Backyardigans

Alright, so I have never heard about this before (hello there I'm the only one my age who doesn't have a TikTok yes yes) but it's like??? So cute and funny??

And now I wish we were irl friends just so I could see you dance along this (and probably join too 😂) omg that's so cute I'll forever think about you when listening to it now

Burying the dead ~ star wars lofi - Closed on Sunday

NO. NONONONO. LOOK. I FELL ALSEEP LAST NIGHT AND WHEN I WOKE UP AT 4AM MY PLAYLIST WAS STILL ROLLING

AND "burying the dead" STARTED PLAYING AND I DIDN'T RECOGNISE IT AT FIRST, UNTIL I SAW THE COVER

AND LET ME TELL YOU I LEGIT SHED A TEAR BECAUSE OF THE MEMORIES

omg the only reason I'm listening to it is because you recommended it. But why making me suffer 😭

(Although the lightsaber thingie is still very cool)

Me getting chills right now

This is sad;; I am sad now

And the art cover is... I'M LOOKING AWAY IT'S TOO MUCH PAIN

La vie en rose (single version) - Louis Armstrong

I KNOW THIS SONG I LOVE IT!!

I gotta say, I love the way American people are sooo captivated by Edith Piaf (and French things in general)

And I don't have anything else to add on this one because you summed it up so well, Louis Armstrong has such a strong and powerful voice, yet it's also soft; and the way he plays the saxophone... Pure magic

I love that song, really

I Lived - OneRepublic

I really like it! I don't listen that much to OneRep but for the ones I do listen to, they always give of nice vibes; so this one is going (well, already is) in my playlist!

Love the chorus, it's so catchy and Summer Vibes™!

I know about Counting Stars yes, really cool song too!

I recommend Run, I've listened to it on tv last time and it got stuck in my head (in a good way. This is a good song)

prom dress - mxmtoon

I love the cover for this one, it's so cute!

And her voice is really soft, I love it

You know what? I get New Girl Vibes off of this one, like I can perfectly picture Jess doing smth a bit embarassing yet cute and like Nick trying to be embarassing too so she doesn't feel bad

Very cute mood around this song, I really like it!

Omg yes there's Olivia playing rn I'm happy

Get You The Moon - Kina

Hooo I like the beginning

Soft guitar (you can hear the fingers slips against the strings, which is like...my favorite sound when I listen to/play the guitar)

I LOVE IT OMG MOONY THAT'S

Hhhh no words to describe what I feel about this song, I just. Vibe with it.

Voulez-Vous - ABBA

I LOVD THE TITLE yes it's because it's in French; did I tell you I'm a sucker for foreigner using/speaking French? Yeah well, now you know

AND IT'S SO CATCHY OMG I GET WHY YOU LIKE IT SO MUCH

Watch me sing along the French part and listen to it AGAIN just because I can.

Alright, I'm done here! That was SO FUN omg I love doing that

My playlist is filled with Nice Good Recommendations™ it's awesome 😂🥰

Lemme tell you... In this house, we love strange and weird because it's cool

And you're cool too

Now I should really reblog this and go answer to your message right 😂 thank u again for the tag I'm really like

Yeah happy and glad and all

You know what? They say using your mothertongue when speaking is easier when you feel strong emotions because it's instinctive so let me tell you

C'est merveilleux, et je suis absolument REMPLIE DE JOIE mon cœur fait boom boom dans ma poitrine 💙

(Which basically means: me happy, heart goes boom boom) 😂😂

IT’S MUSIC TIME MY GOONIES PT. 2

alrighty, it’s time again for me to share some more of my music tastes! really glad you guys like the first one, so i decided to do it again! once again, tagging the lovely @loth-wolffe & @weirdcharacter because they loved what i did the first time, so ya’ll can have a second one lol 😂

also, i’m putting my playlist on shuffle again, so i’m just putting the songs that come on as i go (also, sorry if i do any repeats, i’m trying to remember them all but if i repeat, you can just have another little paragraph about it again 🤣 hehe also, might have skipped around just a little bit, but for the most part this is just what came on lol 😂)

OKAY, OKAY!! HEAR ME OUT!! IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A SONG SANG BY A STRONG FEMALE IN THE ROLE OF THE VILLAIN, THEN ANNAPANTSU IS THE PERSON FOR YOU!! i love this song, i feel so powerful whenever i listen to it. also the movie it’s from is awesome! cover art is spooky, but i love the purple. solid 8/10 on the cover art! also, Anna’s voice is so good! she’s really good and it flows really well with the music! she also has a cover of “prince ali” and at the end she goes so high omg 😆 anyways, at the end of this song, she gets so awesome omg!! she plays the character really well, overall would recommend this song if you wanna feel like a powerful voodoo villain lol 😂

ow, of course a sad ABBA song had to come on right after. so, i love this. also reminds me of Omega now because of all the artwork of seen of it with “slipping through my fingers” in the tags (also in some fics I’ve seen it). It’s ABBA, so ya know, it’s already gonna be good. this is sad, but it still has a good beat, and it’s not slow. the piano is very nice. the duet in the middle of the song is very nice. cover art is confusing?? like idk what is supposed to be happening in it lol 😂, so um 6.5/10 cuz i have no idea what’s going on in it. OMG AND THERE IS HARMONIZATION AT THE END, IT IS SO PRETTY, MAKES THE SAD EVEN MORE PROMINENT!! oh the band at the end is very good! the electric guitar is really good, gets you in the feels. overall, recommend when your in the mood for some sadder 70’s music.

okay, obviously had to have some Zelda beats in here. fun fact: I’ve never played ocarina of time, but this is actually my favorite zelda song of all time. listening to it slowed is even better. it’s like a whole experience in itself. this song is just okay, it doesn’t come up on my playlist very often, but when it does, it’ s chill. beat is good, and the cover art is a solid 7/10 cuz the clouds are very nice. also like how their blue and gray, very cool. love any zelda song, so this song is nice when you want some background noise while working, and it’s just very chill. recommend when you wanna think about the hero clad in green with the blade of evil’s bane. the slowed version is so good, so i’ll link it down below!

Zelda - Song of Storm [slowed + reverb + rain] - Chuckster (love his remixes, he actually slowed the entire soundtrack from Twilight Princess, so recommend checking that out as well!

i slowed down zelda music and cried - Chuckster (okay i didn’t mention this, but this video is just 40 minutes straight of slowed Zelda music, and THE NOSTALGIA I RECEIVE IS INCREDIBLE. RECOMMEND 10000000000% this is also good background music when working!)

Z e l d a w a v e - Marble Pawns (OKAY I’M SORRY, I DIDN’T MENTION THIS ONE EITHER, BUT THIS ONE IS REALLY AWESOME!! REMIXES ARE SO NICE THE SONG OF STORMS ONE IS REALLY WACKY BUT SO COOL!!! OKAY, I’LL STOP LINKING ZELDA MUSIC LOL 😂 did you see what i did there?? i’ll stop “linking” zelda music???)

HAHA YESSSS!!! I SCREAM EVERY TIME THIS SONG COMES ON IT IS SO GOOD!!! OMG THE BEAT IS INCREDIBLE!!! this time, it’s actually from the movie because i like that version better, and the dudes singing in the background are so good! there’s actually this version on YouTube that every time it gets to the chorus it slows down and gets deeper (linking it below)!! lyrics are so good!! i recommend this song if you want to blast this in the car at peak volume, belting out the lyrics. the piano is soooooo good, very funky. cover art is 9/10, love whatever the fake falling thing is that is happening lol 😂 the ending is my favorite it’s so good omg 😆 and the back and forth between sky and sophie is so good!!! and when they sing together?? perfection!!

Lay all your love on me but it gets slower & deeper with each chorus - audio_edits

1 step forward, 3 steps back [clean] - Olivia Rodrigo

OMG YESSS!!! WHEN YOU TOLD ME, WEIRD CHARACTER 🤪, THAT YOU HAD NEVER HEARD OF OLIVIA RODRIGO, I JUST KNEW I HAD TO PUT ANOTHER SONG FROM HER IN HERE! okay so like at the beginning there are these birds and piano comes in and its just so pretty. the lyrics are amazing, i love this song. cover art is obviously 10/10 AND THE MUSIC CHANGES WHEN THE CHORUS COMES AND IT IS JUST BEAUTIFUL!!! this is actually the first song i listened to from SOUR and i absolutely loved it. i also recommend happier, enough for you, traitor, & favorite crime (i have the clean versions in my playlist so i would listen to those if you don’t want curse words lol 😂) AND THE ENDING IS SO SOFT AND BROKEN OMGGGG. RECOMMEND WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING THAT’S SAD BUT SOFT, WANTING TO BLAST IN CAR!!!

SPOOKY HALLOWEEN SONG, SPOOKY HALLOWEEN SONG, SPOOKY HALLOWEEN SONG!!! love this, amazing!! michael jackson is awesome, and this is such a good song that i even listen to it when it’s not halloween (tho i recommend listening to it when it’s actually halloween to amp up the spooky vibes) cover art is a solid 1000000/10, the eyes look so spooky as the moon, coming through the smoke?? perfection!! also there is a spoken word part at the end THAT REALLY MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN A HORROR MOVIE. RECOMMEND THIS SONG IF YOU WANNA FEEL LIKE YOU ARE THE MAIN CHARACTER IN A HORROR MOVIE, OMGGGGGG 😆 and it’s michael jackson, like?? who doesn’t like michael jackson??

if you think i am joking, i am not. this is actually on my playlist, yes. no i will not be removing it anytime soon. so obviously this got popular from TikTok, but its so good lol 😂 i sing and dance to this so much that my family and friends all know it by now. cover art is 15/10 if your just focusing on pablo cuz he’s my fav lmao 😂. this is actually a masterpiece and recommend it for time when you just want to listen to a silly song for a sec.

THIS SONG IS SO SAD, BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH AT THE SAME TIME!! ONCE AGAIN, CLOSED ON SUNDAY IS AMAZING, RECOMMEND IF YOU WANT MORE LOFT REMIXES OF STAR WARS MUSIC LIKE THIS ONE!! the beat is soo good in this one, the there’s like this really soft part in the middle with the piano and beat, it’s really nice. the ending is so quiet and slow omgggg. recommend if you want to listen to some remixed star wars music that on the quieter, sadder side. also cover art hurts my soul, so that should tell you how i rate it lol 😂

i absolutely love this song. the saxophone is so good in this. don’t play it myself, but gosh do i love it. also, the intro is long, really good. the beat is nice, drums and the piano is so complimenting. like i said in my last music sharing post, i love jazzy older tunes, and this is fits that so perfectly. and don’t even get me started on louis armstrong’s voice. its so nice and raspy, cool and calm over the music. omgggg 😌 the lyrics are so lovely. cover art is a solid 10/10, he looks so happy and i love how he’s smiling into the microphone, he’s just straight up vibing in this pic. ALSO THE SAX COMES BACK AT THE END SUPER POWERFUL AND AWESOME, IT’S GREAT!!! recommend this for when you are dancing with your lover in the middle of your living room at twilight.

this is in my playlist because of Unus Annus lol 😂 i also just like the song in general (without associating it with Unus Annus). it’s just one of those songs that you can listen to when you need a pick me up or an inspirational moment. i really like it, the guitar is very nice, acoustics sound so good. love the chorus and the ending! cover art is pretty cool, solid, and it actually represents each member of the band and how they are different from each other (which is so cool, can’t even tell you how cool that is), so 10/10, really like the filter on it too! this song feels like one that you listen to when you’ve overcome something in your life and you are super proud of yourself! recommend to blast in car during the summer with the windows down as the sun sets. also really like counting stars from them, recommend listening to that one too!

mkay, lover mxmtoon. i haven’t listen to any of her other songs, but this one is really good! i like the ukulele and snapping, very nice. her voice is so pretty, very nice with the song! i really like the lyrics and it also feels like a song you would have on a movie during the character’s like embarrassing moment at prom during the movie or something like that lol 😂 (like punch falls on them or something). i really like the cover art for this one, 9/10. the masks in the background are funky and cool! this is nicely paced, more on the faster side but still really good. recommend listening to this when you just want a chill song with some feels in the middle of the night while you stare up at your ceiling.

okay i ran out of music thingys again, but i’m gonna do one more lol 🤣

Get You The Moon - Kina

gosh, i love this song. the beats and the drums in the back?? yes. it’s sad, and i really like how it’s not paced too slow. Kina’s voice is very nice, I love how his voice clashes nicely with the music, very nice. as i said before, i like sad songs, and this hits the spot. the lyrics are really nice, and the cover art is very cool, solid 9/10. like the blurry thing happening. recommend listening to on a late night car drive.

WAIT HOLD ON I WAS GOING TO BE DONE, BUT ANOTHER ABBA SONG JUST CAME ON, SO I HAVE TO DO THAT ONE NOW!!!

Voulez-Vous - ABBA

YESSSS!!! THIS SONG IS SO AWESOME!! OMG THE BEATS, THE ELECTRIC GUITAR, THE KEYBOARD??? 100000000000/10!! LYRICS ARE SO GOOD! THE CHORUS IS REALLY GOOD!!! VERY GOOD TO DANCE TO, LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH OMGGG I CAN’T EVEN TELL YOU!!! THE LITTLE FRENCH LYRICS IN IT?? AWESOME, SO AWESOME!!! RECOMMEND WHEN YOU ARE THE MOOD TO DANCE AROUND TO SOME VERY UPBEAT 70’S MUSIC!!! THEY ALSO DO THESE “AHA’S” AT THE END, AND THEY ARE COOL TOO!!! JUST LOVE THIS SONG!!!

okay, i swear i’m done now, even though then next song coming on (cuz i accidentally skipped forward), is really good too lol maybe i’ll do another one, i really like doing these! i’m so glad you goonies liked the last one, and i hope you like this one too! once again, i hope you enjoy the songs and my very strange and all over the place music taste!

lots of spells (& music listening),

moony

[risalei-nur]

TAFSIR: Risale-i Nur: The Letters: The Nineteenth Letter - Part 34

Fourth Example: Reported through an authentic line of narrators from ‘Abbas: “God’s Messenger (UWBP) covered ‘Abbas and his four sons (‘Abdullah, ‘Ubaydullah, Fadl, and Qusam) with a piece of cloth called mula’at, praying: ‘O my Sustainer! This is my uncle; protect through me these his sons and veil them from the Fire, as I veil them with this cloth!’ The roof, door, and the walls of the house joined in the prayer at once, saying, Amen! Amen!”

Fifth Example: Accurate books, notably Bukhari, Ibn Hibban, Abu Da’ud, and Tirmidhi, unanimously report from Anas, Abu Hurayra, ‘Uthman Dhi’n-Nurayn, and Sa‘d b. Zayd, from among the ten promised Paradise: “God’s Noble Messenger (UWBP) climbed Mount Uhud together with Abu Bakr al-Siddiq, ‘Umar al-Faruq, and ‘Uthman Dhi’n-Nurayn. Either due to their awesomeness, or out of its own joy and happiness, the mountain began to tremble and stir. God’s Messenger said: ‘Steady! For upon you are a prophet, a veracious one (siddiq), and two martyrs!’

This tradition is giving news from the Unseen that ‘Umar and ‘Uthman were going to be martyred. As a supplement to this tradition, it is narrated that when God’s Noble Messenger (Upon whom be blessings and peace) migrated from Mecca pursued by the unbelievers, they climbed the mountain called Thubir. The mountain said: “Leave me, O Messenger of God! I am afraid that God will punish me if they strike you on me.” Then Mount Hira called to him: “Come to me, O Messenger of God!” For this reason, men of intuition feel fear on Mount Thubir and a sense of safety on Mount Hira.

As can be understood from this example, these vast mountains are each an individual servant of God; each glorifies and praises Him; each is charged with duties. They recognized and loved God’s Messenger (UWBP); they are not without purpose or owner.

Sixth Example: Reported through an authentic line of transmission from ‘Abdullah b. ‘Umar: “While delivering the sermon from the pulpit, God’s Messenger (Upon whom be blessings and peace) recited the verse: “No just estimate have they made of God, such as is due to Him: on the Day of Judgement the whole earth will be but His handful, and the heavens will be rolled up in His right hand,”(39:67) and said: ‘God the Compeller is exalting Himself and saying: I am the Compeller! I am the Compeller! I am the Mighty! I am the Most High!’ As he said this, the pulpit so trembled and shook that we were frightened that God’s Messenger (UWBP) would fall.”

Seventh Example: It is reported through an authentic line of narrators from Ibn ‘Abbas, known as the Learned One of the Muslim Community and Interpreter of the Qur’an, and Ibn Mas‘ud, the Prophet’s (UWBP) servant and one of the great scholars of the Companions, that they said: “On the conquest of Mecca, there were three hundred and sixty idols around the Ka‘ba, fixed with lead to the stone. That day, the Noble Messenger (Upon whom be blessings and peace) pointed to each of the idols in turn with a stick he was holding curved like a bow, saying, ‘The Truth has arrived and falsehood has perished; indeed, falsehood is ever bound to perish.’ (17:81)  

“Whichever one he pointed to, it fell down. If he pointed to the face of the idol, it fell backwards; otherwise it fell on its face. Thus they all toppled over and fell to the ground.”

Eighth Example: This is the famous story of the well-known monk Bahira. Before the beginning of his prophethood, God’s Noble Messenger (Upon whom be blessings and peace) was travelling towards Damascus to trade together with his uncle Abu Talib and some of the Quraysh. They rested when they came near the church of Bahira the monk. Bahira, who was a hermit and did not mix with people, suddenly came out. He saw Muhammad the Trustworthy (UWBP) among the caravan, and said: “He is the Lord of the World; he will be a prophet.” The Quraysh asked: “How do you know?” The holy monk replied: “I saw a small cloud over the caravan as you were coming. When you sat down, the cloud moved toward him and cast its shadow over him. I also saw trees and rocks prostrate themselves before him, which they only do before prophets.”

[nomediaplay]

There’s a bunch of new questions in my inbox that I don’t think I can answer without ranting and being very condescending. Below are some

“Will you buy Jessica's book”

That’s extremely unlikely. First off because I basically only ever read various types of research papers and legal documents. Secondly because I doubt she’s able to understand enough of the bigger picture and has enough self-reflection to write something I’d find meaningful. Maybe she can, but I doubt it.

“Based on those RIAJ reports, will streaming take over Japan like it did with the rest of the world?”

I’d say it already has since long ago, at least among younger people. As I’ve ranted about before, the physical market in Japan is almost 100% about idols making fans buy CDs for other reasons than music. And it’s particularly held up by how idols hold huge amounts of events to which fans get “free tickets” if they buy CDs.

“You said that bgs have better physical sales because of fangirls, then why bigbang is not selling millions like exo and bts?”

Because no matter how stupid they are, most of BIGBANG’s fangirls are at least a lot older than EXO and BTS fangirls and therefor won’t spend their hard earned money on something so ridiculously dumb as buying CDs.

The real question you should ask is: Why are hordes of international girls who don’t speak Korean and who don’t have a CD-player buying millions of CDs from Korea???

And the answer to that is in how the big young international kpop following basically is like some huge retarded online cult that lives detached from reality and doesn’t care about facts, and instead basically just makes up whatever stuff they want to believe in. Obviously record labels are fueling this behavior as they make a ton of money from how fans spend money on dumb things. But it’s really fascinating how it’s largely the fans themselves who have created this absurd behavior.

“How is it possible that a girl group like Blackpink who sold 200k+ copies of their mini album with no fan signs, billions of views on yt, tons of exposure, a successful world tour and 20k attendance at their Seoul concerts can't even sell out their fan meeting?”

Again, you’re asking the wrong question. BLACKPINK is basically just some girls dancing to 5 autotuned Teddy-songs. I understand if lots of people find the songs to be awesome. But it’s 5 songs. And basically anybody could go up on stage and dance to them. So why would anyone pay for tickets to a BLACKPINK performance? The turn-out for their latest Korean concert seems like a fair turn-out reflecting how many people that logically should want to pay to see BLACKPINK (and as mentioned before: much of the audience at their previous Seoul concert had been given free tickets by companies sponsoring the event, and 20k seems exaggerated too for that matter).

So the real question you should ask is: “Why are hordes of international kpop fans paying money to see BLACKPINK dancing to some songs?” And of course the answer is again in how this international kpop following basically is an online cult.

“Do you know the difference between apple music and iTunes and which do I have to look at to know how a group is doing.”

Yes of course. ‘iTunes’ is Apple’s old download service where you purchase downloads. ‘Apple Music’ is Apple’s new streaming service where you pay a monthly subscription and then get to stream whatever music you want to listen to, exactly like Spotify (it just took them 7 years to copy Spotify).

Since no normal human would pay to purchase a download from iTunes, iTunes is completely irrelevant. Spotify and Apple Music are the charts you need to look at if you want to know what music people are listening to.

The only ones who buy downloads on iTunes are idiot fans who for some reason have convinced themselves that they must waste their money to make their faves top iTunes. And frankly, buying downloads from iTunes (or QQ etc) is even way more stupid than buying CDs from Korea. At least fangirls buying CDs could claim that they want the photobooks and cards in the CD package. The idiots that buy downloads from iTunes are just pissing away their money. Don’t even get me started on all the Chinese fans who uses VPNs to make their faves top the US iTunes chart.

“How big are the chances that super m will succeed in u.s.?”

The question is strange. The members already have lots of fans. From the perspective of Capital Records it seems a very simple and low-risk project to make money from their already existing fans buying shit.

And from the perspective of the members it seems like a good opportunity to get great US/worldwide promotions/exposure that will help them make more money from concerts and CF deals now and in the future.

As for if they could become actually mainstream music that people listen to, the answer is of course no.

“Does the labels in the west work the same shaddy and scheme ways as most korean labels/agencies? Is it better to no sign to a label and just stay independent and probably make more money given the bigger and more developed music markets?”

The western companies are of course just as ‘shady’ in many aspects, but your question is strange. Record labels, songwriters and performing artists all live in symbiosis.

Record labels make money by marketing and selling music.

Songwriters make money not only by royalties on music sales through record labels, but also from how much their songs are played in concerts, on TV, on radio, in clubs, at sport events, in karaoke bars, etc etc.

Performing artists mostly make money not from royalties on music sales, but by being paid to perform live at concerts and other events and by being paid for various types of CF/endorsement deals.

They all need each other. And if you’re a performing artists with ambitions to make it really big and get paid lots, it makes no sense to decline all the promotion/marketing you’d get by signing with a big record label early in your career. And particularly if you’re not also an awesome songwriter, because then you’ll need the help of some good A&R people to get you suitable songs.

The ‘problems’ of the idol industry (and this of course doesn’t just go for Korea, but even more so for Japan and China, and also applies to many of the big US/UK boygroups decades ago) is especially manifested in how idols are made to do endless promotions and free events to drive music sales (which the record labels make huge money from) instead of doing paid events (which the performing artists would make huge money from).

“It's teddy the richest producer in kpop? Because I always though he probably get paid better than most kpop idols.”

Again: the top performing artists make huge money from live performances and commercial deals, much more than anybody makes from songwriting or music sales. But performing artists who don’t make it big enough make absolutely zero money if they can’t get paid more for performances than what they’d have to spend on outfits/makeup/travel/assistants etc.

Teddy is indeed one of the Koreans who make most money from songwriting nowadays. But songwriting is very different to any normal jobs. Your income is passive royalties from how much your songs are used. Some songs continue to be used for a very long time and all over the world. Take for example the songwriting for ABBA. They continue to make lots of money today from 40-50 year old songs because they are still being used lots on radio, in TV, in musicals and with covers in concerts etc. There are obviously a lot of old Korean songwriters who have a huge catalogue of songs they’ve written that continue to make them money every year.

“Will the hallyu ban in China ever be lifted?”

Who knows. China being China. They’re just altogether weird with their one-party-state ruling everything but any horrible individual opportunistic capitalist behavior seems completely OK as long as you support the party-state enough.

“Do bgs members ever stop being fuckboys?”

It would probably be good for you to realize that all men by nature more or less has a biological instinct that says “if there’s a hole, then I should plug it”. Their actions are rather a result of opportunities and consequences. Most male pop-stars and actors have more or less endless opportunities and face no consequences.

[tisthenightofthewitch]

“There can be little doubt that the formidable rise of Ghost and the lurking threat of their mainstream acceptance is not only one of the most remarkable success stories of recent times, but a cause for great cheer. Openly endorsed by the not insignificant likes of Metallica frontman James Hetfield and former Pantera singer Philip Anselmo, their reputation as a buzz band has inevitably been met with scorn and dismay by many, who continue to wheel out the age-old bellyaching of “style over substance” and bemoan the bands carefully constructed image as contrived and a mere crowd-baiting gimmick.

Of course, this is patently utter bollocks. Notwithstanding the rich theatrical heritage of hard rock and heavy metal (KISS, Alice Cooper, King Diamond, Slipknot), the overtly satanic world that Ghost inhabit is about as refreshing a shtick as can be seen in 2018, especially given the sanitised, corporate rock currently dominating the airwaves across the pond (where the Swedes are particularly massive). Distinctly cartoonish and Hammer Horror it may be, but the sacrilegious pomp and gothic nightmare of infernal anti-Pope Cardinal Copia and his faceless companions is still enough to make the uninitiated grab their crucifix and reel off a few hail marys. It most certainly ensures that the band stand apart from the identikit radio-rock masses, embracing the sort of atmosphere and esoteric force rarely felt from any of their so-called peers and managing to sit on the cusp of a minor breakthrough whilst pledging devotion to The Great Horned One. Give me Ghost over Shinedown any day of the week.

Image aside, however, the barefaced pop sensibilities of the band’s catalogue are bound to irk a certain strain of metal fan. Owing more to Blue Oyster Cult than Behemoth, Ghost’s disarmingly sweet-sounding hard rock sits rather at odds with their much-proclaimed allegiance to Beelzebub, yet the sheer quality and cross-appeal of their music is undeniable. Indeed, whilst there are plentiful examples of prog rock’s unhinged ideas and bombastic arrangements littered throughout their discography, enormo-anthem ‘Square Hammer’ unerringly flaunts an ABBA-esque chorus and arena-sized singalong, ‘He Is’ strides fearlessly into power-ballad territory and ‘Secular Haze’ sees a thunderous collision between refined pop tunefulness and old-school metallic thud. Groundbreaking it may not be, yet the fact remains that this is a band taking everything that has driven the appeal of heavy metal since Black Sabbath struck their first chord and repackaging the immortal essence of metal’s vaudevillian past, whilst simultaneously delivering some of the most massive tunes of the decade which still, somehow, ensure we sense that smoldering hell-fire alongside those humongous melodies.

Sure, those who will claim to have left the womb clutching a first press twelve inch of Harmony Corruption will more than likely disapprove of Ghost’s infiltration of the heavy music world (without a blast-beat or death growl in earshot), and it is understandable that many will be left cold by the overt melodrama of it all. But Ghost aren’t for these people. It’s not Gorgoroth, well done, have a sticker. Yet with so much spoken of ‘gateway’ bands nowadays, there is no doubt that many of Ghost’s young fanatics will be the underground devotees of tomorrow, and for any knuckle-dragging purists to denounce the band’s standing as an entry point towards extreme metal’s bountiful delights is not only ridiculous but detrimental to their beloved scene.

Disregarding question marks over personal taste and originality, there is an ironclad reasoning why Ghost are, and deserve to be, a modern hard rock treasure. Despite their unhallowed lyrical themes and image contradicting the rather beauteous songs tossed our way, everything ties together for a distinctive Ghost magic, harnessing a uniquely subversive approach which looks set to resonate with audiences for years to come, inviting them to step somewhere blasphemous and beyond. A welcome antidote to the aforementioned bland and cynical rock superstars of today, between their awesomely warped facade and startlingly catchy songs, Ghost are ripe for criticism, devoid of limitations and primed for super-stardom. Hail Ghost!

Ghost’s Prequelle is out June 1st on Loma Vista Recordings. Purchase here.

Words: Tony Bliss

[rhedrhed]

The Joshua blessed Caleb son of Jephunneh and gave him Hebron as his inheritance. - Joshua 14:13

Dear Lord,

Thank you for reminding me that if you promised something, we must be assured about it. That we can hold on to it and if we think the time is right, we can also demand for it. Thank you because you showed me that You are indeed true to your words and that sometimes, we need tp be confident in claiming that promise. This is awesome, Abba. Thank you!

Love,

Rhed

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

21st June >> Mass Readings (USA)

  for Thursday of the Eleventh Week in Ordinary Time

 or Saint Aloysius Gonzaga, Religious.

Thursday of the Eleventh Week in Ordinary Time

(Liturgical Colour: White) First Reading Sirach 48:1-14

Elijah was enveloped in a whirlwind, and Elisha was filled with the twofold portion of his spirit. Like a fire there appeared the prophet Elijah    whose words were as a flaming furnace. Their staff of bread he shattered,    in his zeal he reduced them to straits; By the Lord’s word he shut up the heavens    and three times brought down fire. How awesome are you, Elijah, in your wondrous deeds!    Whose glory is equal to yours? You brought a dead man back to life    from the nether world, by the will of the LORD. You sent kings down to destruction,    and easily broke their power into pieces. You brought down nobles, from their beds of sickness. You heard threats at Sinai,    at Horeb avenging judgments. You anointed kings who should inflict vengeance,    and a prophet as your successor. You were taken aloft in a whirlwind of fire,    in a chariot with fiery horses. You were destined, it is written, in time to come    to put an end to wrath before the day of the LORD, To turn back the hearts of fathers toward their sons,    and to re-establish the tribes of Jacob. Blessed is he who shall have seen you And who falls asleep in your friendship. For we live only in our life,    but after death our name will not be such.    O Elijah, enveloped in the whirlwind! Then Elisha, filled with the twofold portion of his spirit,    wrought many marvels by his mere word. During his lifetime he feared no one,    nor was any man able to intimidate his will. Nothing was beyond his power;    beneath him flesh was brought back into life. In life he performed wonders,    and after death, marvelous deeds. The Word of the Lord R/ Thanks be to God. Responsorial Psalm Psalm 97:1-2, 3-4, 5-6, 7 R/ Rejoice in the Lord, you just! The LORD is king; let the earth rejoice;    let the many isles be glad. Clouds and darkness are round about him,    justice and judgment are the foundation of his throne. R/ Rejoice in the Lord, you just! Fire goes before him    and consumes his foes round about. His lightnings illumine the world;    the earth sees and trembles. R/ Rejoice in the Lord, you just! The mountains melt like wax before the LORD,    before the Lord of all the earth. The heavens proclaim his justice,    and all peoples see his glory. R/ Rejoice in the Lord, you just! All who worship graven things are put to shame,    who glory in the things of nought;    all gods are prostrate before him. R/ Rejoice in the Lord, you just! Gospel Acclamation Romans 8:15bc Alleluia, alleluia. You have received a spirit of adoption as sons through which we cry: Abba! Father! Alleluia, alleluia. Gospel Matthew 6:7-15 This is how you are to pray. Jesus said to his disciples: “In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.    “This is how you are to pray: ‘Our Father who art in heaven,    hallowed be thy name,    thy Kingdom come, thy will be done,    on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread;    and forgive us our trespasses,    as we forgive those who trespass against us;    and lead us not into temptation,    but deliver us from evil.’ “If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.” The Gospel of the Lord R/ Praise to you Lord Jesus Christ. —————————

Saint Aloysius Gonzaga, Religious

(Liturgical Colour: White) First Reading 1 John 5:1-5 The victory that conquers the world is our faith. Beloved: Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is begotten by God, and everyone who loves the Father loves also the one begotten by him. In this way we know that we love the children of God when we love God and obey his commandments. For the love of God is this, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome, for whoever is begotten by God conquers the world. And the victory that conquers the world is our faith. Who indeed is the victor over the world but the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God? The Word of the Lord R/ Thanks be to God. Responsorial Psalm Psalm 16:1-2a and 5, 7-8, 11 R/ You are my inheritance, O Lord. Keep me, O God, for in you I take refuge.    I say to the LORD, “My Lord are you.” O LORD, my allotted portion and my cup,    you it is who hold fast my lot. R/ You are my inheritance, O Lord. I bless the LORD who counsels me;    even in the night my heart exhorts me. I set the LORD always before me;    with him at my right hand I shall not be disturbed. R/ You are my inheritance, O Lord. You will show me the path to life,    fullness of joys in your presence,    the delights at your right hand forever. R/ You are my inheritance, O Lord. Gospel Acclamation John 13:34 Alleluia, alleluia. I give you a new commandment: love one another as I have loved you. Alleluia, alleluia. Gospel Matthew 22:34-40

You shall love the Lord your God, and your neighbor as yourself. When the Pharisees heard that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, and one of them, a scholar of the law, tested him by asking, “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.” The Gospel of the Lord R/ Praise to you Lord Jesus Christ.

[fidei]

GOING HOME

“I am indeed going to prepare a place for you, and then I shall come back to take you with Me, that where I am you also may be.” —John 14:3

The great “I Am” (Ex 3:14) — the awesome Creator of the world, Who has created universes and quasars millions of light-years away — God Himself, wanted to adopt “little old you.”It seems unbelievable, but it’s true. He paid an inestimable price for you by sending His only begotten Son to give His life. By faith, you accepted God’s adoption of you. Your Father God loved, fed, protected, healed, guided, and provided for you. He was always there. Because the Father lived in heaven, you could never see Him, but the joy of your life was to talk to Him and see His wondrous works. The Spirit cried out in you, “Abba!” (Gal 4:6) Your deepest desire was to someday go home and see Abba. However, that was impossible, but nothing’s impossible for Jesus. He’s the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no one comes to the Father except through Him (Jn 14:6). Everyone who comes through Him gets to go home and see Abba. Then He “shall wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, crying out or pain, for the former world has passed away” (Rv 21:4).Thank You, Father, for adopting me. Thank You, Jesus, for being the Way home. Thank You, Spirit, for crying out in my heart, “Abba.”

Prayer:  Abba, I love You.

Promise:  “God raised Him from the dead, and for many days thereafter Jesus appeared to those who had come up with Him from Galilee to Jerusalem. These are His witnesses now before the people.” —Acts 13:30-31

Praise:  Pope St. Pius V led church reform at the time of the Protestant Reformation. He challenged cardinals to abandon their often luxurious lifestyle and mandated bishops reside within their diocese.

[seekfirstme]

The following reflection is courtesy of Don Schwager © 2021. Don's website is located at Dailyscripture.net

Meditation: Do you allow any troubles to rob you of God's peace? As much as we try to avoid it, we all inevitably encounter trouble and difficulties. Jesus knew his disciples would have to face trials and persecution after he left them to return to his Father in heaven. Adversity can make us lose hope and become discouraged, or it can press us closer to God and to his promises for us.

"It is the LORD who goes before you; he will be with you, he will not fail you or forsake you; do not fear or be dismayed" (Deuteronomy 31:8).

A place for you in my Father's house

Just as God, who appeared as a Pillar of Cloud by day and a Pillar of Fire by night, went ahead of Moses and the Israelites to lead them safely through the wilderness to the promised land, Jesus tells his disciples that he is going ahead through his ascension into heaven to prepare a place for them in his Father's house - a place of lasting peace, friendship, and happiness with God. God's house is never closed nor over-crowded - there is plenty of room for everyone who believes in God and in his beloved Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. The greatest fear in this present life - whether it be the separation and loss of a loved one or the threat to one's own life - is put to rest by Jesus' promise that we will live forever with him and the eternal Father. There we will be joined with a great company of saints and angels who will be our friends forever as well.

Do you know the way to the Father's house in heaven? Jesus expected his disciples to know where his life was headed - to dwell in everlasting glory with his Father in heaven. And he expected that his disciples would recognize that this was their ultimate destination as well. Thomas, who was both a doubter and a realist, spoke for all the disciples when he said, "we neither know where you are going nor how we shall get there on our own?" Thomas was a very practical "down to earth" kind of person who wanted to see the map and landmarks showing the exact path that would lead the way to the desired haven. Jesus assured Thomas that he would not only give him everything he needed to complete the journey, he would be Thomas' personal guide as well.

Traveling alone in unfamiliar or uncharted places can be unnerving and bewildering without a companion or guide. And some places are impossible to pass through without the right person who knows the way and who can guarantee a safe passage. Several years ago I was invited by Christian friends to visit their community in Lebanon. They were in the middle of a civil war that would last for 15 years (1975-1990). Months and years of hardship, exposure to danger, and the uncertainty of the war's outcome, as well as being physically cutoff from outside contact with friends, was weighing heavily. I was eager to visit to offer some support. Since I had never traveled there before, nor spoke the local language, I knew that I was helpless without a trustworthy guide. Fortunately a close Christian friend from Lebanon met me half-way on my journey and personally guided me through some unfamiliar territory, including check-points, road-blocks, physical danger, and some social, religious, and political hurdles as well. My guide got me safely to my destination. I literally owed my life to his safe-keeping. The Lord Jesus promised his followers that he would be their personal guide and friend who would lead them to the source of lasting peace, enduring friendship, and abundant life.

I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life

The disciples were surprised that Jesus was going to his Father's house and would return to take them with him. And they were even more surprised when Jesus said he expected them to know the way to the Father's house. Jesus' answer to there question, "show us the way", was both a reminder that his disciples should trust their Master and Teacher to show them the way, and a challenge for them to recognize that Jesus had intimate knowledge of God and where God came from. Jesus made a statement that invoked the very name which God had revealed to Moses, "I am who I am" (Exodus 3:14), and he made three claims which only God could make. He stated unequivocally to his disciples: "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life" (John 14:6)

Jesus proclaims: I am the Way (John 14:6). He alone knows the way to the Father because he has been with the Father from the beginning - before time and creation ever existed. The Lord Jesus gives us more than a road map and guide book. He personally is the way to the Father's kingdom, and we cannot miss it if we follow him. He accompanies us on our daily journey and watches over us as the good shepherd who leads and sustains us each and every step of the way. Are you in step with the Lord and do you trust in his guiding hand for your life?

Jesus proclaims that he is the Truth (John 14:6). Many can say, "I have taught you the truth." Only Jesus can say, I am the Truth. He possesses in himself the fulness of truth. Jesus claims to be one with the Father and to speak the truth which proceeds from the Father. Jesus promised his disciples that if they continued in his word, they would learn the truth and the truth would set them free" (John 8:31). The truth which Jesus proclaims has power to set us free from ignorance, deception, and sin. The words which Jesus speaks are true because there is no lie or falsehood in him. Moral truth requires more than mere words or ideas because the person who speaks them must be true - true in thought, speech, deed, example, and action. Jesus embodies the truth in his person.

Jesus proclaims that he is the Life (John 14:6). He not only shows us the path of life (Psalm 16:11); he gives the kind of life which only God can give - abundant life that lasts forever. Is there any trouble, fear, or distraction that keeps you from the perfect peace and joy of a life surrendered to Jesus Christ?

"Lord Jesus, you fill us with the joy of your saving presence and you give us the hope of everlasting life with the Father in Heaven. Show me the Father that I may grow in the knowledge of your great love and truth."

The following reflection is from One Bread, One Body courtesy of Presentation Ministries © 2021.

GOING HOME

“I am indeed going to prepare a place for you, and then I shall come back to take you with Me, that where I am you also may be.” —John 14:3

The great “I Am” (Ex 3:14) — the awesome Creator of the world, Who has created universes and quasars millions of light-years away — God Himself, wanted to adopt “little old you.”

It seems unbelievable, but it’s true. He paid an inestimable price for you by sending His only begotten Son to give His life. By faith, you accepted God’s adoption of you. Your Father God loved, fed, protected, healed, guided, and provided for you. He was always there. Because the Father lived in heaven, you could never see Him, but the joy of your life was to talk to Him and see His wondrous works. The Spirit cried out in you, “Abba!” (Gal 4:6) Your deepest desire was to someday go home and see Abba. However, that was impossible, but nothing’s impossible for Jesus. He’s the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no one comes to the Father except through Him (Jn 14:6). Everyone who comes through Him gets to go home and see Abba. Then He “shall wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, crying out or pain, for the former world has passed away” (Rv 21:4).

Thank You, Father, for adopting me. Thank You, Jesus, for being the Way home. Thank You, Spirit, for crying out in my heart, “Abba.”

Prayer:  Abba, I love You.

Promise:  “God raised Him from the dead, and for many days thereafter Jesus appeared to those who had come up with Him from Galilee to Jerusalem. These are His witnesses now before the people.” —Acts 13:30-31

Praise:  Pope St. Pius V led church reform at the time of the Protestant Reformation. He challenged cardinals to abandon their often luxurious lifestyle and mandated bishops reside within their diocese.

Reference:  

Rescript:  "In accord with the Code of Canon Law, I hereby grant the Nihil Obstat for One Bread, One Body covering the period from April 1,2021 through May 31, 2021 Reverend Steve J. Angi, Chancellor, Vicar General, Archdiocese of Cincinnati, Cincinnati, Ohio August 5,2020"

The Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") is a declaration that a book or pamphlet is considered to be free of doctrinal or moral error. It is not implied that those who have granted the Nihil Obstat agree with the contents, opinions, or statements

[weirdcharacter]

Alright so here's ze review! Thank u again fir the recs little moon, I'm having a good time now with all these new songs in my playlists! 💗

happier by Olivia but it's ten times sadder

That's just enough sad to resonate in me het hold me there in awe, I love the piano slowly accompanying the song!

You're right, her vouxe does sounds a bit lire broken, maybe a little desperate to express herself

I love it 🥺

everybody loves somebody - dean martin (slowed n reverb)

I already know I'm going to like it. I just know it. (Yes u got it from me haha that's Echo's song indeed and I'm SO HAPPY you thought about him to dance on this 🥰)

THE VIOLON YES

OMG YES. THE DEPTH OF HIS VOICE. *screaming*

Omgomgomg I'm falling in love with this song all over aGAIN MOONY 😭

I'm absolutely daydreaming a slow dance with Echo on this song rn

Clair De Lune Ethereal Remix

If course, Claude Debussy 🥰 I love his sings they're so soothing, and this version gives it an even more magical vibe!

It's raining outside as I listen to this and I just yes. Yes 100%.

Omggggg the part around 2min CHILLS

That PIANO. (There's a bird singing outside I am definitely out of reality and in a parallel universe rn)

The ending was so soft- 🥰

heather - conan gray (slowed + reverb)

Guitaaaar! Omg I love the chords, they sound so nice!! And his voice is so beautiful???

Ho. The chorus. Chills, wow... It's sad, but it's so beautiful omg I love it 🥺

Chiquitita(slowed+reverbed) 💜

I LOVE THIS SONG LIKE- SO MUCH

See, the ABBA song I associate with you is Voulez-Vous; and Chiquitita is Wolffe's song because she said it was my theme song + everytime I listen to it I think about the nickname she gave me ans my hearts MELTS

Omg I love you both so much you can't even imagine

It's SO BEAUTIFUL HAAAAAAAA I'M SCREAMING but not too loud I don't want to disturb this beautiful song 🥰

♪ CHIQUITITA YOU AND I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOW ♪

I love this sooooo so much I'll put it in every single playlist I can put it in. I'll put in on my phone and listen to it in the train non-stop.

billie eilish - my future - slowed dreamy reverb

I agree with you; Billie Eilish can and do uses her voice in a lot of ways and experiment with it, it's always very nice to hear her singing!

This version is amazing. I don't know the original one but this one? Incredible. So calm, so soothing, the kind of song you listen to with closed eyes and hearphones

It's beautiful! And the soft beat in the middle of the song? 👌👌

friends on the other side - s l o w e d

I love how you recommended me like- 3 different versions if that song, and all of them are SO GOOD

I love this song, it's a reaaaaally good song because even when you listen to it without the images of the scene, it doesn't drag in time you know? It's really catchy

I kinda want to be a villain now just to Vibe™ on this song while doing spooky evil stuff

His voice being deeper like this gives him such z nice vibe too!!

"Are you reaaaady?" HELL YES I AM

And the endING-

le valse de l'amour - patrick doyle (slowed down)

I love the little story you wrote, it fits the song SO WELL

I WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE I'D BE SO FOCUSED ON HUNTER'S FACE I'D FORGOT HOW TO MOVE

true story I once stopped playing in the middle of a concert because I was too captivated by the fact that I was playing in front of people and felt so good about it LMAO

I love this song it's soooo soft and beautiful and OKAY LEMME GET UP AND DANCE TOO- wait.

Hunter's hair. In a BUn? Alright I'l gonna need a fic about this BABY PLEASE THAT FIC WOULD BE AWESOME

You are gifting some great content here Moony and I love you for that 💗

Sleeping beauty - once upon a dream (slowed + reverb)

AURORA IN A PURPLE DRESS WOULD HAVE BEEN AMAZING

Her voice is beautiful omg

You know I really love that too, because I know all these Disney songs but in French you know? So hearing the original versions is always so funny and cute to me, I'm like "woaaa so people know this version of the song 🥺"

But anyway it's soooo beautiful, Philip's voice is amazing!!

D a n c i n g Q u e e n

...i will need that marvel edit I'll look it up when I'm done with this because- yes

You can daaaance~

I have chills right now, that's just soooo good 🥺

It's weirdly melancholic? Like you said, retrospective song, for when you reach the end of your life and just throw a look back at everything, mixture of sadness and haooiness rushing through your heart, making it clutch a bit as you remember fondly the best moments of your life...

🥺🥺

________

Well... That was amazing, as usual!!

Once again I have been blessed by your incredible tastes and your very cute analysis of thumbnails! 😊💗

Thank u for sharing these quality songs little moon 🌙💙

IT’S MUSIC TIME MY GOONIES PT. 3

FT. MY YOUTUBE PLAYLIST

hehe, so i have been wanting to do one of these again for a while now, so here we are! but instead, we’re doing my youtube playlist, which has all the slowed, sadder versions of songs that i like. yes, i like sad songs, oops :P. ballads have always been my jam, probably always will be so, here are some songs from my playlist! once again, putting the playlist on shuffle and just going with the flow besides the occasional skip lol :P

people i feel like would like to see this: @loth-wolffe @weirdcharacter @ladykatakuri @ahsokasleftbicep

———

happier by olivia rodrigo but it’s ten times sadder

by wisterxiaa

i love slowed versions of songs, that is like the way to my heart lol 😂 this is really nice, her voice sounds really cool slowed down like this. the electric guitar in like the middle sounds so cool omgg. is it sad? yeah, a little, but it’s really nice slowed down like this. most of the time, the titles say this in my playlist, but i just like the way it’s slowed lol 😂. the thumbnail is so pretty 9/10, love the purple and the monarch butterflies :) overall, recommend this song when your in the mood for some olivia rodrigo, but a tad bit sadder. AND THE OOH’S AT THE END HIT DIFFERENT OMGGGG AND SHE SOUNDS SO BROKEN AND SOFT AT THE END APOBIHJ[OADSIJB

everybody loves somebody - dean martin (slowed n reverb)

by starclouds

pretty sure i got this song from General Angsty (if i didn’t, apologizes), but this slowed down verison HITS THE SPOT. i love his voice in this slowed way, it is so interesting. also, it’s reverb? like? yes, please. the thumbnail is actually a GIF that is a fountain, it’s pretty cool, 7/10, also this makes me wanna sway with like Echo or something (actually now that i think of it, i’m pretty sure i got this from General Angsty’s dancing post with the boys, which made me so SoFt omg :)) overall, recommend listen to this when you wanna sway with your lover in like a dance club, but your nestled into their neck and your pulled so close and it’s warm in their embrace :) the instruments also are really nice in this verison.

Clair De Lune Ethereal Remix

by A.Krishna

IF ALL MUSIC SUDDENLY BECAME ETHEREAL ON YOUTUBE, I WOULD MOST LIKELY CRY. so i love ethereal remixes, there’s just something so… whimsical about ethereal remixes. this song is so pretty and beautiful on ethereal omgggGGGg. the thumbnail is beautiful 10000000/10. I just- this sounds like a song you would use as like a look back through your entire life, like every memory and moment just appearing as this song plays WOW. and when the piano climax’s in the midDLE OMGGGG it is INSANE, LIKE THE EMOTIONS THAT GO THROUGH MY BRAIN AOBIASDNB and then it gets super soft and quiet aaaahhhh CAN YOU TELL I LIKE ETHEREAL?? IDK IF YOU CAN 😂 anyways, overall recommend this song when your just watching the rain fall and reminiscing about good times in your life :)

heather - conan gray ( slowed + reverb)

by Vibey

okay definitely this song is sadder slowed, like THE FEELS OMGG but it’s amazing slowed, like the original is awesome, AND THEN THIS???!! so the thumbnail is a really pretty GIF of this VHS tape just playing, and it’s purple so 10/10. this definitely brings the raspy part of his voice, and i really like it (or that’s just the reverb lol 😂) only thing i do not like about this slowed version is it cuts off the end of the song at the end of the video, and I don’t know why, but it’s still really good, so i don’t mind too much :). it’s very pretty and sad all at the same time. overall, recommend listening to this song when your just chilling, staring up at the ceiling and your like “let’s be a puddle of sad for a sec”

Chiquitita(slowed+reverbed)💜

by Brown Aesthetic Syndrome

LIL’ SOKA, IT’S OUR SONG!! OUR SONG SLOWED AND REVERBED IS SO PRETTY, AND AWESOME!!! MKAY, SO THE THUMBNAIL IS COOL, 8/10, THE FLOWERS ARE PRETTY!! YES, I WILL BE SCREAMING ABOUT THIS SONG LOL 😂 THE PIANO SOUNDS SO PRETTY IN THIS, LIKE IT’S SO MUCH MORE BROUGHT OUT :))), AND THEIR VOICES SOUND SO PRETTY SLOWED!!! OH AND THE CHORUS ITS DIFFERENT OMGGGGG AOPBINAS[FDPOIBJOFIBOAFINBPOJ IT’S SO INSANE OMGGG AOIBAPDOFSKGN!! ANYWAYS RECOMMEND THIS SONG WHEN YOU ARE LIKE “I NEED ABBA VIBES, BUT SLOWED” ALBKNDSPFOBIN

billie eilish - my future - slowed dreamy reverb

by ayabe

so this song is incredible, like it slowed really hits different. billie’s voice has always been so interesting to me because sometimes she sings like very whisper like, and other times she is full on belting like going insane, and i really like that she uses her voice in multiple different ways during her songs. billie is the number one artist i go to when i really wanna be in the feels, and this verison of my future is so amazing. the beat is so interesting, and the thumbnail is really cool 9/10, also i don’t know what the language is nor, do i know what it says, so if you do, let me know lol 😂 but the picture is cool. this song is one i listen to all the time because it’s just- yes. overall recommend this song when your chilling in bed, just in the dark, with the window open on a summer night :)

friends on the other side - s l o w e d

by angelicsounds

THIS IS SO EPIC SLOWED OMGGGGG I CAN’T NOT EVEN EXPLAIN AOBPINADOPBNF I REALLY FEEL LIKE A SPOOKY DUDE WHO KNOWS HOW TO DO SOME SPOOKY STUFF OMGGG i love the original song, and i also really like the cover by annapantsu, definitely recommend her verison too! this has got to be the coolest disney villain song slowed down, hands down. the thumbnail is a GIF of this anime character’s eyes doing weird looking highlight stuff lol idk what to call it, 8/10. overall, recommend when you wanna listen to a song that makes you feel like the main villain in a story :) AND THE ENDING HITS DIFFERENT OMGGGGGGGG

le valse de l’amour - patrick doyle (slowed down)

by mari

okay, so we all know that I love Cinderella. and this song is so incredible, i can’t- okay, but just imagine… the bad batch, undercover at a senate ball, you, trying to make sure the senators are safe. the boys are in their separate locations, you know, watching, making sure everyone is good. some random dude from out of nowhere tries to make you dance with him. you are obviously like “um, what the heck, please no sir.” and suddenly…

“may i have this dance?”

it’s Hunter (or crosshair, but i’ve written a fic about Hunter dancing with the reader, so i feel like he would be a good dancer).

anyways, he whisks you away from random dude, and your like “Hunter there’s no music” because the orchestra just finished their previous song, and he’s like

“just wait.”

bam, this song comes on.

and suddenly, Hunter’s waltzing with you and you didn’t even know he could waltz. and it’s exactly like the scene from Cinderella 2015. So you two are doing your own thing in the middle of the ballroom, and everyone starts moving out of the way because woah these people are really good at dancing

and you are just shocked because HOW??

and he just leads you through the whole thing. he spins you around, and if your wearing a dress and it’s got some tulle on it, it swishes around when he spins you and oh my god the butterflies and smile he gets when you giggle because you love the way it swirls around you. and then people start backing up more, because at this rate, you guys are taking up the whole dance floor.

and you just keep going, and he starts pick you up and spinning you around when the harp comes on. and he grabs you by the waist and starts swinging you around just like Kit & Ella do in the movie. and then the end of the song comes, and he dips you, brings you back up, and that’s it.

and when it’s all said and done, you just look at him, and well, he obviously looks extremely handsome, his suit is all pressed, and his hair is done back in a bun, but he’s got a few wisps coming out from your whole little dancing experience, and all you can say is:

“I-”

“shhh, mesh’la. later. i’ll tell you later.”

anyways, thumbnail is a solid 11/10, and recommend if you wanna daydream about dancing at a senator ball with Hunter.

no i am not planning on writing a fic about this, what you you implying? okay, yes i am, i am. no shame 😂

sleeping beauty - once upon a dream (slowed + reverb)

by Paige Coddington

sleeping beauty is one of my favorite disney princesses besides rapunzel & cinderella, so i love this. The GIF is so pretty, 10/10. Aurora’s voice is pretty, and her vibrato is so much more prominent in this verison, and i am obsessed. this is so pretty, I- speechless, actually. and then philip comes in and it’s just ✨ also, i always like aurora in the pink dress when i was younger, but now i kind of like the blue dress more. they should have just given her a purple dress i guess lol 😂 overall, really pretty, recommend when you are in the mood for some more nostalgic disney vibes :)

D a n c i n g Q u e e n 女王

by v a p o r w a v e

okay so i originally found this on an edit of “the snap from avengers infinity war, but dancing queen” -

and when i tell you that the snap got even sadder, I-

anyways, i also really like vaporwave music, very interesting and very cool. i love the video because i’m pretty sure it’s the original music video, but it looks like your looking through a kaleidoscope, so 100000000/10. this song is so good vaporwave, like, just yes. like when i say this hits different, like for real, this hits different. ABBA is always good, but this by far has to be my favorite thing of ABBA music i have ever found. It’s like…

it’s just incredible.

like i said with the ethereal remix of clair de lune, this is like a song that you put on your life, and just look at all the memories and moments that have happened to you.

overall, recommend when you wanna just sit and think for awhile, or maybe make the snap from avengers infinity war sadder

———

and that’s it! i decided that i would just stick to 10, the other ones i have done are about 12, and i just thought it was a good number lol 😂 i hope you guys enjoy these as much as I do, and check out my pinned post to see them all linked on one post :)

lots of spells (& music listening),

moony