#AARON AIN'T SHIT AND HE'S PLAYING GAMES !!!

[buggotbrain]

liusa6, you will always be famous

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 33 Week 2: Sending Off an Ingrate and a Shocker

Work is still awful, but I need to come on here to talk to you all about the show this week. A lot happened and we need to discuss. I'm gonna rank the stars based on my enjoyment of each performance (mostly) combined with how I feel they may fare with votes. But before that, let's address the elephant in the room. That elimination. So first of all, I was SHOCKED to see Tori Spelling out in the first week. Was she amazing? No. But I think she did enough to cement a third week. I guess I underestimated the fact that she seems to be really disliked. Because between being a part of Beverly Hills 90210, being the daughter of Aaron Spelling and being constantly talked about for decades at this point, I thought she was gonna be around til week 5 at least. Y'all know it takes a lot to shock me with regard to this show. The double did her in and that's why I always hate double eliminations in week 1. It always takes out one person that maybe needs a little more time to get going. As for Anna? Well it was expected. What I wasn't expecting was her parting words. I feel for Ezra mostly, because that man was riding for her since the day he met her. He took amazing care of her and I know it was hard for him to see the heat she was taking. And you're telling me she couldn't even thank him for showing her that she was more than her crime. Or CAI who tried uplifting the past two weeks? What a waste. Even I didn't go in like I could've and really wanted to because I think people deserve a second chance after committing certain crimes (not drugging, murder, sexual assault, trafficking and your third time physically assaulting someone).She played in all of our faces. You know who I don't feel bad for? Conrad and the rest of the producers for DWTS. I said on twitter, "play stupid games, win stupid fucking prizes". She got on that show, on that platform that y'all gave her and bent over backwards to make it work for her, just for her to spit in your faces and tell y'all that y'all ain't shit, ain't been shit and will never be shit. And honestly, that's the one positive thing I can take from her response. Showing them that they are fools for casting her was great. Hate that this show has fallen so far that someone can say that and the show deserves it. Alright, let's get into these couples:

Top Four

Chandler and Brandon might be my favorite partnership in quite some time. They work well together. Chandler is an incredible dancer with the most gorgeous movement quality. And Brandon is creating some great dances. That was a beautiful rumba. I want them to go far. I think they can go far. I don't want another Tinashe situation to happen. But so far, they are doing exactly what they need to do.

Stephen and Rylee are super fun to watch together. They mesh well and Rylee is definitely choreographing some good numbers that showcase Stephen extremely well. I have a concern though. Stephen is a very awkward mover. That was super obvious in this paso. His hips and shaping looked strange. His footwork made me scratch my head. It was a little strange. His timing is still a bit off. He's got a lot of potential, but they really need to work on finetuning these dances. I can see this being a bigger problem in the more fluid Latin dances and the Argentine tango.

Ilona and Alan are just so much fun. I'm glad Ilona let her guard down a bit more this week. She wasn't moving as small in this salsa and really settled into and owned her sexy more. I love that Alan added a couple of lifts for her as it may have helped her feel more comfortable. She has a ton of potential too and I'm super excited to see their dances once she really lets loose. I actually feel like she might shine in a ballroom dance. I know they have that coming up next.

Dwight and Daniella actually did a great job with the foxtrot. Dwight really really wants to do well and you can tell. He is paying so much attention to the details. He connects his moves. He finishes his lines. And he really handles Daniella with so much care. Two things though. I know that the height difference definitely affects this, but he's gotta work on tucking his butt under him. Second is the footwork needs to be cleaned up.

Middle of the Pack

Joey and Jenna made a believer out of me this week. He is definitely one to watch for sure. He is charming. He seems to be a fast learner. He has great movement quality, especially for a man this early on in the competition. He's still gotta work on his hip action. It isn't natural. Once he get that figured out, I'm a little scared about how good those Latin dances will be. Because this rumba was really really nice.

Danny and Witney are my dark horses of the season. Danny is light on his feet and he stays on time (mostly). Witney is doing great choreography and his technique in this jive was great. I still want him to loosen up more, but I can tell that he made a big shift from week 1 to week 2 in comfortability and confidence. These two, as well as the 5 above them, have me super excited for this season. I can't remember the last time I was this genuinely excited for 6 different couples in one season.

Phaedra and Val are interesting to me. I don't think Phaedra is very good. And I don't think Val is choreographing to her dance strengths that well. That section of their foxtrot that was super fast exposed A LOT of Phaedra's technical setbacks. She was super hoppy. That said, I like their partnership. Phaedra is a larger than life personality, so she makes up for the lack of ability with her performance. I want Val to slow things down though. I think that would better suit her at this point.

Jenn and Sasha are an interesting couple. While Jenn handled some of the production issues like a pro, some of the choreographic choices were a choice. I do not understand why there was a cartwheel thrown into this dance. Or jumps and side by side choreography? I'm cool with that stuff being thrown into quicksteps, but a tango? Why? And why are we using these types of songs for tangos while we're at it? There are so many movies that have been nominated for Oscars that have actual tango music in them. Moulin Rouge comes to mind immediately. I feel like that could've forced Sasha to not make stupid choreography decisions. So this is what I'm going to say. Jenn is a good dancer. A lot of her undoing and early departure (because I'm feeling a "shocking" elimination from her) will be due to his choreography. Because again, why?

Bottom Three

So I'm just going to make this easy for these three. Eric and Reginald are both terrible. There's really not much that either Britt or Emma can do for either one of them at this point. They really won't get all that much better, if at all. In fact, I can see both of them getting worse as the season goes on. The one thing I can say is that they both improved this week.

Brooks and Gleb are interesting. Brooks is good. But that quickstep was not it and Gleb is relying way too much on this STUPID SHOWMANCE that they keep trying to shove down our throats. We're TIRED! It sickens me to my core. The fact that Derek clocked that they did a tango hold instead of the correct hold lets me know exactly where his priorities are. So I say that it's time for us to take a stand. We have to stand against showmances on this show. We gotta let these folks know that we are TIRED. We are not stupid. You cannot play us for fools. I'm ready for them to GO!

So that's it. No show this week. Two shows next Monday and Tuesday. Let me know your thoughts and I will talk to you all soon.

[breitzbachbea]

Could you answer ALL the questions for pady

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ABOUT PADDY, I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO GET TO KNOW MY FUCKED UP OLD MIDDLE AGED MAN.

Ask Game for someone's OCs

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Babyname website, ten most popular boys names in Ireland all time. I don’t know if I picked his surname from a similar/the same site, but I must assume so. Et voilà – Patrick “Paddy” O’Neill!

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

Born on the 2nd of May 1965 in canon. He’s 48 in Irish Problems, the first story in the mainseries, which is usually the age range he also appears in in most AUs.

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

Ohhh, does he ever! My man used to be quite the charmer in his youth! Not really putting the love in love interest, but he had a ONS with Daisy Grey, the mother of Shane Grey, who’s part of Charlie’s gay social circle after he left school. He’s also had a few flings with Þóra, @swabianmapley’s lovely OC and one of the Icelandic subordinates. The list could go on - Ben didn't call him a louser for nothing!

But the woman he ends up dating (if I'll get this far in the main story and stick to it) is Donella Ramsay. She's a middle school physics and english teacher from Glasgow he met on a bender in Dublin, where she has relatives. It's ... an odd match, but it works out for both of them.

Shoutout to his childhood/teenhood friends Kilian MacLeod and Angus O'Malley though! I don't ship them in canon, but I love a good AU with Kilick, Padus or a Derry Trio OT3. Welcome to the worst Polycule this side of the Foyle, maybe in the entire North West.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

Honestly, I think nothing would top a good full Irish breakfast roll for this man. Something as big as his entire hand, stuffed with eggs, bacon, sausages, mushrooms ... only acceptable way to start the day.

💼 - What do they do for a living?

Be a menace to society! No literally, he's in the mob. Right hand to Harry O'Connel, the biggest shark in the Irish tank. Aaron O'Connel, Harry's father, was who picked Paddy off the Dublin streets and offered him to work for him. Ain't much of a living with the guilt his job produces but well, someone's got to protect the kids now and make their life cushy.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

He plays the guitar! His father taught him. He also branched into other string instruments and is pretty good at the Banjo. His fiddling is good enough for government work. Needless to say, not only does he play, he also sings.

🎯 -What do they do best?

Being a calm mediator, to be honest. Everyone else always looks to him, due to his experience and Paddy's here to get shit done. Doesn't mean he's always calm or hides his emotions particularly well, but he's determined like no other and very good at both executing orders and giving orders. He's so splendid at being a father to be honest, it's a shame he never had any kids on his own, but doesn't matter - he loves Harry, Soph and Charlie to bits. Adopts every lost kid in need of a dad he can find, giving as much love as his big body can store.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

Loves to be a bastard with his children, a carefree ne'er-do-well, hates that to live that life he routinely makes it worse for a hundred other families who're just struggling to get by. Paddy is filled to the brim with guilt, believes God no longer listens to him and that there's no redemption for a man like him.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Night out in the pub with friends in Derry; Kilian, Angus, a few others - and the daughter of the Orangeman who's none the wiser that his daughter is hanging with at least one Catholic and Rotten Prods and getting shifted by the latter.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Hearing about Kilian's death after the funeral already happened. Kilian's older brother Keith didn't want him there.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

It is! I rarely change designs, mostly because the hugest chunk of my characters exist solely as personality and a vague idea of a physical appearance for months, if not years. Paddy had his design pretty quickly because I had to describe him, but I love it anyways. Especially the fact that he's 2 m tall and built like a brickwall.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

I needed a right hand man for my mafia story and I knew vaguely that there's Protestants in Northern Ireland. That's it and as I learnt more and more about the actual situation and nuances of Irish history and identity, it just has made Paddy more and more interesting.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Born to be in a romantic comedy or a GOOFY heist movie, forced to be in Angela's Ashes meets The Godfather.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Cishetero man as they come, though I make exceptions in AUs for Derry Trio OT3 shenanigans babyyyy. To be fair, too, he's moved in overwhelmingly queer circles due to the job and the kids in the past years that he's not at all fazed by the myriad of gender expressions and sexualities this world got to offer.

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

None! However, he has/had a cousing called Caoimhe, who he loved so dearly, pretty much like an older sister. However, after his aunt/her mother died in a bombing, the family moved away and he never heard from her again.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

Very good! Both of his parents died in the 80s, sadly, but he loved them very much and they did him. They also were both rather old parents (William O'Neill was born 1917, Davian O'Neill in the early 1920s), so it's sad they died so young regardless, but not out of the clear blue sky. As I said, his father taught him how to play guitar and Davina also always looked out for her son. Paddy wouldn't have left Derry if one of his parents were still alive.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

THE GHOOOOSTS, Paddy is so fucking haunted! He has lived three lives and to not lose the third one, he is willing to dig himself and everyone a grave without a bottom. Willing to do and encourage the worst things out of a deep, deep sense of love. He lost his cousin, his parents, Angus moved to London and then a bomb wrecked his and Kili's flat, so he walked out of town, left Kilian behind who died in the mid 2000s in a car crash. He got taken in by Aaron, traded his morals for a new family and helped raise Aaron's kids. Then Freya, Aaron's wife, dies in childbirth, Aaron's other right hand Ben gets shot in 2006 and Aaron accidentally poisoned in 2009. Once again, Paddy is the last man standing. So if anything happened to Harry, his sister Sophie or Harry's best friend Charlie, he'd kill everyone and then himself. No hyperbole. His actions in Irish Problems underscore that.

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

Pretty much any time I work on the mainseries. He isn't in every AU and I also write a lot of one-shots/other fanfics about entirely different corners of the world that have nothing to do with him, but Paddy never strays far from my mind. Since I've been rewriting Irish Problems since 2022, rarely a month went by without writing about him.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

I've toyed with the idea of killing Paddy a lot, because he'd be potent drama. But at the end of the day, I could never go through with it because it breaks my own heart far too much.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Don't think he likes anything about bombs, but that's less of a phobia and more ... being traumatized by a civil war. He's got over his dislike of guns for the same reason, but still loathes most big guns and will not use anything automatic unless you held the man himself at gunpoint.

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

Ben was always the man to pick fights and hold grudges, so Paddy doesn't really have any personal nemesis or rivals. Team England can be counted as such, simply because they're Team Ireland's biggest antagonists, but he has no particular bone to pick with Arthur (unlike Harry), Robert (unlike Charlie) or Tahir.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Since 2013! "Like Father Like Son", how the entire story universe is called, was a Hetalia AU I created for an art trade. I needed human OCs for the story and that is how he came about.

🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC?

14. Insane shit.

Here's a drawing of him done by @pyromaniacqueen!

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Baseball's Greatest Hits 1989 Novelty / Swing / Pop / Jazz / Comedy / Folk / Singer-Songwriter

Well, folks, I gotta say that baseball and I really aren't on the greatest of terms right now. See, my Mets are currently in the fight of their life for a playoff wild card spot, and their MVP-caliber shortstop, Francisco Lindor, who prides himself on playing every day, is now nursing a back injury, and we don't yet know the severity of it, because as I'm currently writing this, me and this entire fanbase are awaiting the results of a very important MRI. And as a diehard Mets fan whose only really been raised on baseball heartbreak, I've been conditioned to only expect bad news at this point, knowing full well that even if his injury is minor and he's only out for a few games, that his absence at this highly critical point in the season has a pretty good chance of causing this club to miss the playoffs by a mere inch, even though they've been pretty much the best team in the league since Memorial Day, with a starting pitching staff that was not expected to be very good, but has somehow miraculously developed itself into the best one in the game, despite ace Kodai Senga only making a single appearance all season due to multiple injuries.

But even though I really don't wanna think too much about baseball right now (hah!), we still push on, because like it or not, this novelty album of baseball songs from Rhino Records—the first of its kind, they allege—happens to be the next album in my queue, and so here I am, regardless of my own mood and how I'm currently trying to cope in this moment, ready to write, objectively 😥.

So, first of all, and above all else, this is a fun album. Little of it consists of music that I would consider to be *good*, but that's not really the point of an album like this in the first place; we're here for goofy novelty, and boy, do we have a whole lot of it, from swingin' and showtuney and rockin' tunes about specific greats like Joe DiMaggio, Willie Mays, Jackie Robinson, Mickey Mantle, and Hank Aaron; to jazz pianist Dave Frishberg's "Van Lingle Mungo," a song that, according to this albums own liner notes, became his most requested, even though its lyrics are literally only names of baseball players that he'd found in a baseball encyclopedia once, including that of Van Lingle Mungo himself. What a song to have your career defined by 😂.

But the absurdity of this album really only begins there, because in addition to that, we've got some peak 80s cringe here as well. Like, you know how so many people in that decade mistakenly thought it'd be a good idea to try their hand at rapping? Well, have a listen to legendary Yankees announcer Mel Allen rap the words 'that ain't no jive' on "Baseball Dreams," by Allen and a group called The Naturals. This song is like if one of those horribly cheesy 'just say no to drugs' anthems was made about baseball instead. A complete atrocity that reminds you just how much of this awful type of cheap and generic, keyboard-dominated ~sound~ was really floating around out there at the time. Fun to point and laugh at now, but holy shit, what terrible, terrible music this was!

And up until that very song on this album, I was set to write about how this is a great release for families to listen to in their car while on the way to a ballgame, so long as they don't go to more than a few games a year. But then I heard the next song, "Baseball Card Lover" by Rockin' Richie Ray, and thought otherwise, because while Richie provides the thinnest of pretenses that this song is merely about his love of baseball cards, what it's actually clearly about instead are his own fantasies about having wild sex with the players on those cards 🥵. So, uh...fun for the whole family, this album certainly is not.

Still, though, there are a few genuinely good songs on here too, and the best among them, I'd say, is probably Philly soul group The Intruders' "(Love Is Like A) Baseball Game," which wasn't their biggest hit, but still managed to perform modestly well, reaching #26 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1968. A quality piece of soul music that came courtesy of the legendary songwriting and production duo of Gamble and Huff, but I'm not too sure that I agree that the whole concept of love can really be equated to "three strikes, you're out" 😅.

So, all in all, it definitely did feel a little bit tormenting to have to listen to this album and then write up a post about it today, but now that I've done it, I won't have to do it again 👍. Worth a listen if you love the history of baseball and think you'd get a kick out of the wide variety of wacky music that this folkloric game has managed to yield since about the ~1940s, but if baseball's never really been your thing, you can probably skip this collection, because you probably wouldn't understand or appreciate much of what these songs are about anyway.

But seriously, how do you leave a song like "Meet the Mets," one of the single-catchiest baseball tunes ever written, off of an album like this?! 🤔 Tsk, tsk. The lesser known funkier and peppier 70s version of it goes pretty hard, as far as baseball songs go, too, I think.

Highlights:

The Intruders - "(Love Is Like A) Baseball Game" Steve Goodman - "A Dying Cub Fan's Last Request" Sister Wynona Carr - "The Ball Game"

P.S.: Since I've written this, Lindor's MRI has come back clean, which is definitely encouraging, but they really need him back ASAP. Time is definitely not on their side right now 😓.

[thorntonkrell-blog-blog]

Down three games to none in the World Series and already trailing 2 zip based on yet another Freddie Feeman four bagger, Gleyber Torres led off the Yankee first and hit a lazy foul ball down the right field line. Mookie Betts the Dodger's rightfielder headed for the stands. Ho Hum. Another out...26 more to go and even though it was early it was still late.

He leaped for the ball and interefered with Yankee fan Austin Copobianco's enjoyment of the game, thrusting his glove in Austin's face in an effort to snag the ball and continue the ass kicking humiliation that the one time Bums were putting on the one time Bombers.

Copobianco and Yankee fans throughout the world had seen enough thank you. He and we have been waiting around for too long to put up with all this shit. Austin grabbed Mookie's glove as if he were trying to remove it from the fielder's hand but no…he was simply trying to yank the ball out of the glove and say 'no mas'. His inner Harry Beal was mad as hell and he wasn't gonna take it anymore

Austin's brother helped to balance Mookie as he hung suspended. The ball squirted out of the grasp of Austin/Mookie and bounced onto the playing field. The umpire ruled fan interference and Torres was retired but thanks to Austin, Gleyber didn't go down easy.

Copobianco was a season ticket holder and he'd been waiting in his seat all of his life for just such a moment. The fan had shown more fight than the entire Yankee team at this point in the Fall Classic.

Maybe he stirred up some echoes.

The previously overwhelmed backstop young Austin Wells also gathered the gall to ghost Yogi and go deep out of nowhere.

Later in the game that same Gleyber homered down that same right field line but by then the Yankees were in control of the ballgame after Anthony Volpe as the ghost of Derek Jeter matched Freeman for total grand slams hit in this World Series with one apiece.

The Yankees poured it on late in the game, scoring one run in the sixth inning off arsonist Knack and five more off mop-up man Brent Honeywell in the eighth, (who needed an exhausting 50 pitches to end the stanza) breaking Game 4 open with New York’s biggest offensive outburst of the series by far

Even the beleagured Aaron Judge woke up and smashed a double just for shits and giggles.

Copobianco wasn't around to see the fireworks. Security had removed him from the premises.

He gone but he not forgotten.

Will he back in the right field stands again tonight?

Just another interesting question to be answered in Game 5 in Gotham where it ain't over until it's over.

[ssahotstuff]

Lie To Me

An Aaron Hotchner x reader story

Aaron Hotchner/Ozark crossover

Part 4

Part 3 can be found here

Warnings: smut so minors dni! Not much smut but unprotected sex, penetration. Crime, kidnapping, violence and FBI drama, I think that's it for this chapter. Cursing and alcohol use

Word count: 5k

Marty had yet to get his shit together.

The kids had been with you for nearly a week; Marty was nowhere to be found, and Wendy wasn't about to contact you unless she had to. You thought it best if the kids just stay with you until Marty showed back up. Aaron was being more than understanding, in fact, every night when you showed up on his doorstep, he was thrilled to see you, even if it was only for an hour or so at a time.

You'd just started to shut things down when Ruth showed up, looking a bit more pale than usual.

"I think Marty's been kidnapped."

You nearly choked on the water you were drinking, a shocked expression on your face.

"Who would kidnap him? The guys from Kansas City?" You weren't sure what Marty was into, but if he'd been kidnapped, it must've been serious. You weren't convinced yet, because you had no proof of anything, he was just gone.

"If he does launder money, and I ain't saying he does, but it could be whoever he does it for."

Marty had never given you any sort of business details. You kept his restaurant running and the two of you left it at that. As far as anything else was concerned, you had no part to play in it.

"All of my calls go straight to voicemail. Wendy said he's in Kansas City," she told you, handing you a beer. Charlotte and Jonah were still at your house, since Charlotte didn't work today, and you could trust them. They'd gotten used to staying at your place; you took them shopping the day before, getting them clothes and stuff they could keep at your house.

"He's not taking my calls either. I just thought maybe he needed some space from everything," the whole ordeal with Wendy had him stressed beyond belief. He wanted his kids back at home, but Wendy wasn't budging on letting Charlotte back in any time soon. Wendy had Zeke, Mason Young's baby for the time being, after he was taken away from Darlene Snell. She was busy, and apparently she didn't have time for her real children.

"Marty handles shit better than most. He'd tell someone if he needed space, probably you," she pointed out, and although he left knowing you had his children, he didn't say anything to lead you to believe he wouldn't be back.

"His kids are fine with me so he doesn't have to worry about that," the Byrdes were under a tremendous amount of stress, and they didn't have that at your house. You'd never seen them so carefree; Jonah was drinking coffee with you and Charlotte in the evenings, more sociable than you'd ever seen him.

"You think he'd leave Wendy with them after what she's done to Charlotte? Marty made sure he knew they were going to be somewhere safe before he left," Wendy was playing a dangerous game with Darlene Snell, and there was a child involved, so it hadn't been a pretty battle.

"I told them they can stay as long as they need to."

When you arrived home, all of Aaron's lights were off, but his car was home. You thought it was strange but you went to your place anyway, surprised to see him at your house with Jonah and Charlotte. They were all eating takeout and waiting for you, Aaron had saved you the chair next to him.

"I knew you had a late night and I wanted to make sure you ate something," he told you, pushing a tray of food in your direction. Charlotte gave you a look from across the table that went unnoticed by everyone else, but you didn't miss it.

"This is great, thank you. Do you want to watch a movie tonight? The kids should be fine here," they were quick to tell you not to worry about them, so you were going to spend some much needed time with Aaron.

"Sounds good to me," he winked, and so after dinner the two of you walked over to his house.

"Word on the street is that Marty's dead," he'd made sure not to say anything in front of the kids but this was the first you were hearing about it.

"What do you mean he's dead?!" He was trying to backpedal out of the situation when he realized how terribly it would affect your mood.

"He's been gone a week, sweetheart. Did he tell you he was leaving?" He hadn't told you anything--he left from your house after dropping Jonah off and that was the last time you saw him in person. You'd gotten worried halfway through the week, and now your fears were getting worse, making your heart beat rapidly. If Marty was dead, the kids would be devastated. You were already on the verge of tears just thinking about it.

"I need to sit down." He led you to the couch where you put your head on the back of the cushions, taking a deep breath. He held your hand, letting you know he was there for you no matter his personal feelings towards Marty.

"How do you know he's dead? What aren't you telling me?"

He thought for a moment before he shook his head, standing up quickly.

"I don't know anything. I just heard that some guys in Kansas City got tired of him screwing them out of money. I should be the one asking what you know, he left you with his kids," he accused, and you blinked back the tears, or tried to. They came anyway because you were so overwhelmed with emotion.

"I don't know anything! His kids are like family to me. If he needs me to watch them, I'm going to," you said, wiping at your face before he could see. He sighed heavily before retrieving two beers, handing you one.

"I'm just saying. He leaves his kids with you and then disappears."

You couldn't control what he did, only how you chose to react. You were choosing to do the right thing, and watch his kids for him.

"I can't help that. Wendy's being crazy right now."

He nodded, sitting back down next to you. He held his arm up for you to climb under, securing it around your shoulders.

"I just hate that you're in the middle of all of this," he said softly, letting his true fears be known for the first time. It wasn't Marty, or jealousy. He didn't like how you were forced into situations like this, what they did to you and how they affected your life.

"Trust me, I do too. But the kids need someone, and I'm glad that it's me."

He kissed your temple, brushing your hair back away from your face so he could get a good look at you.

"I hope you don't think I'm mad at you. I just don't like the positions Marty puts you in. It's not your fault, and I doubt he does it on purpose."

It was the first halfway decent thing he'd ever had to say about Marty. You wondered where it was coming from, what suddenly caused him to shift away from the negative thoughts he'd previously had about him.

"Ruth thinks he was kidnapped. I don't know of anyone who'd want to take him," you told him, and he nodded, promising to figure it out so you didn't have to worry about it anymore.

"We'll sort all of this out," he said, kissing your cheek. The movie was nearly halfway over, and you were already yawning, ready to climb into bed.

"Come on, I'll walk you home. You look exhausted, sweetheart."

He walked you across the street, kissing you goodnight. Charlotte and Jonah were already in bed, so you went to sleep too, hoping you'd hear from Marty soon.

✨✨✨

Two more days had passed before there were any signs of Marty. You had just started closing up at the Blue Cat when he came in, looking like fresh hell. He was covered in bruises, he had a giant cut across his forehead.

"Where the hell have you been?" You couldn't help yourself from crossing the room to hug him, and he hugged you back, tight. You had no clue where he'd been but you were happy that he was back.

"Kansas City. I'm okay. Thank you. You're a real lifesaver, you know that? Wendy's been so preoccupied with that baby," you could tell tensions were still high at his house; he was asking for a key to one of the cabins so he could stay in it.

"The kids are fine at my house," you assured him, but he told you Wendy was fine with them coming back. She'd had a moment of clarity and decided she wanted her kids back under her roof, so he was going to your place after to pick them up.

"You're the only friend I have that I trust with my children," he said, sighing deeply as he looked around at the place.

"I'm glad I have you to run this place. You're the best fit here."

Marty was off to pick up his kids, which meant for the first time in over a week, you could stay with Aaron. He'd be excited to have you back in his bed after all of this time, and you couldn't wait to see him. You decided to call him, loving the sound of his voice on the other line.

"Hi sweetheart."

It was like silk, smooth and intoxicating. You were a sucker for his voice in any capacity.

"Marty's picking up the kids. I was hoping I could see you tonight."

He made a noise on the other end that didn't sound hopeful, so you held your breath for the disappointment.

"I probably won't be done for another couple hours, sweetheart. I'm not even home. But I'll tell you what, my spare key is in a fake rock by the door. Why don't you sleep in my bed tonight?"

You had missed his bed, so you told him to wake you up when he got home, and he promised he would. You took off in the direction of home, surprised you hadn't heard from Ruth. You hoped she'd calmed down some since Marty was back. You changed clothes and went across the street, letting yourself into his house and slipping under his covers, drifting off to sleep.

He woke you up a few hours later when he crept into bed. You rolled over, seeking his body out in the darkness.

"I didn't mean to wake you, I was going to let you sleep," he told you, but you cut him off with a kiss, pulling him closer to you.

"It's okay. Wanted to see you for a minute. I know you're tired," you wouldn't keep him up but you'd missed him so much over the last week that you wanted to make up for it however you could.

"Mmm, I've missed you, sweet girl. I'm glad you're here."

✨✨✨

The following morning you were able to sleep in some because you didn't go in until 3. It was Saturday so Charlotte took the morning shift to give you a little bit of a break. You woke up to Aaron cuddling you, his chest pressed against your back, and his arm around your waist. You barely moved, but it was enough to wake him up, his grip on your hips tightening.

"Good morning, sweetheart." You felt his hips rut against you, begging you silently to let him fuck you already at this early hour. You weren't about to say no, not when you wanted him so badly you couldn't stand it.

"Good morning," you rolled into him, making him hiss as he rolled your pants down, squeezing your ass firmly as his hands covered your body. He flattened you out with his palm, your upper half shoved forward as his fingers teased your folds that grew slicker by the minute, anxiously awaiting him.

"Going to go real slow," he told you, easing into you, bottoming out in you after a moment. As promised, he found a gentle pace and worked with it, grinding into you melodiously as the birds chirped outside and the world beyond his door was busy, but for now you got to be tucked away in the safe haven of his bedroom. It was pure bliss, the most intimate thing you'd ever experienced. It was a heavenly sensation, his cock throbbing inside of you with each precise stroke, working to bring you over the edge. He reached for your hand as you came, lacing his fingers through yours as his other hand gripped your hair.

"So beautiful." He couldn't help himself, he started to go a little faster, pumping in and out of you, making your teeth clench together as the pressure began to build. You met his hips, rolling into him as he pushed into you, groaning audibly as he moved your hair out of the way so he could see you.

"I've missed you so much," you said, biting your lip harshly as another orgasm overpowered you, making your legs shake. He coaxed you through, never growing tired of being inside of you. You'd never had him like this, slow and sensitive, making love instead of just fucking. You enjoyed every second of it, and you hoped he'd give you more of himself like this the further you got into your relationship. The two of you seemed to be getting closer, much to your liking. You hadn't seen much of him this week, but when you did see him, his focus was all on you.

"Fuck, I've missed you sweetheart. I'm so glad I got to fall asleep and wake up with you," he was getting close, his thrusts getting sloppy and urgent. He tugged gently on your hair, his fingers weaved through it as he came hard, panting your name. You urged him to give it all to you, and he did, grasping at your body the entire time. He slid out of you, coming to hover over top of you, pinning you to the bed.

"I know you have to work tonight, but come over after. Let me make you dinner and we can spend time together," his mouth moved against yours tenderly, and for a moment you could feel nothing but love--you wondered if he felt it too.

"Sounds like a date," you shot back, letting him clean you off before you got dressed and could start the day. You walked back over to your place after several goodbye kisses, needing to shower and get changed for work. Ruth was calling you as you stepped out of the shower so you put her on speaker.

"The casino is crawling with feds. They're everywhere, Y/n. They're watching his money, seeing how much goes in and out. They think he's up to something," she whispered frantically.

"Marty wouldn't be that dumb. He has a family to worry about," you figured they'd be interested in him, as quickly as his family was building an empire. Everyone had questions, and you were sure Marty was no exception to the scrutiny of the law.

"But what if he is?"

You weren't sure of the answer. You wanted to ask Aaron because he seemed like he'd have answers, but you were sure he'd just tell you to stay away from Marty, and you couldn't do that--your entire livelihood depended on Marty, you'd be in a shit storm without him.

"We don't have proof of anything, Ruth. Just calm down," she was terrified of a greater plan at work, a master scheme ran by Marty himself. You were sure if something were going on, Marty would tell you.

"I'll come by after work. Maybe Marty will show up too, answer some questions."

You weren't going to hold your breath on that one--Marty was a private guy and you doubted that he'd open up so easily. You assured her you'd talk about it later and went to work, expecting nothing out of the ordinary. The first customer of the shift was a woman named Maya who was obviously pregnant and flashing you her FBI credentials as she sat down at the bar.

"What can I do for you?" You assumed she wasn't there to try the burger, but for something else.

"You run this place for Marty, right? You aren't in any trouble, it's just a question." She was good at making you feel comfortable talking to her, so you told her the truth.

"I do. I don't think it generated enough profit for him, so he was looking for someone else to run the place."

She nodded before referring to her notes in a small notebook she had on the bar.

"What can you tell me about your relationship with Aaron Hotchner?"

You crossed your arms over your chest and tried to figure out what Aaron had anything to do with Marty, and why she was asking about your personal business.

"I mean, he's kind of like my boyfriend. We haven't exclusively put a label on anything. Why are you asking?"

She offered you a friendly smile before ordering food, making herself at home.

"I'm just getting to know you is all. I've heard good things about you. Marty's kids love you. Say they stay with you all the time. Is that because Wendy is a bit unpredictable?"

You weren't sure what to say, but you didn't want to lie to her.

"Wendy has her issues like everyone else. Their kids are no trouble. I enjoy the company. How far along are you?" She seemed happy that you asked. She was 8 months along and having a boy. She was thrilled to talk about it, and even though you hardly knew her, you were excited for her.

"You know, I told them you weren't anyone to worry about. You seem like a good girl. Just keep your head down until this business with Marty blows over. We've looked at your tax records and everything here seems legit. It's the casino they're worried about."

You knew she probably shouldn't be telling you this, but you were glad she was. It eased some of your worries that he'd kept you out of whatever he was doing, if he was into something bad.

"Did you know this is the only place that doesn't default to Wendy if something happens to Marty? He's left this place to you."

You were taken aback, and honestly you weren't sure if you could believe her.

"No way."

She nodded, producing a folder that held the documents showing your name as the legal owner of Marty were to go to prison--or worse. He could've left it to anyone, but he chose you.

"I didn't know."

She could tell you weren't lying by your genuine shock, but her food was ready, so you let her eat. She'd occasionally ask a question about you while you cleaned, realizing that she could hold a conversation with you. It was the slower part of the day so you were able to chit chat.

"So tell me about this boyfriend of yours. What's he like?" You told her a little, that he was in law enforcement and that he was much older than you, but she didn't seem to mind. She could tell you were enthralled by the way you spoke about him.

"Sounds like a good guy. From what I've seen, there aren't too many of those around here."

She stayed and talked a little bit longer before promising to see you again, shaking your hand and waving you goodbye. You made a mental note to tell Marty that she'd stopped by, but you weren't worried. She seemed nice, like they were investigating for no reason. You still weren't sure how to feel about Maya as far as trusting her--she put on a nice act but most of the time it was exactly that--acting.

Charlotte seemed more upset than ever, telling you that the FBI had came in and started going through all of their belongings, torn their house and their lives apart. You weren't sure how to help, or if you even could.

"It's like ever since we went home, all hell has broken loose," she told you, and you hugged her just so she knew she could always come to you with anything on her mind.

"Do you want to stay and distract yourself or do you guys want to go home?" She'd brought Jonah with her just to get him out of the house while all that was happening.

"I'm going to stay. It's Saturday night, we're already getting packed," the tables were filling quickly for the dinner shift, everyone in a good mood. The music really helped set the atmosphere, making it more lively.

"We are, which is exciting. Means good money, so we can go shopping," you were off to wait tables, not getting to take a break until time to close things up for the night.

"We made $543.50 each," she counted up the tips from the day, pooling them together since it was just the two of you. You made more money that way and Charlotte didn't mind--she made more money than any other kid her age and she was responsible with it.

"Sounds like a good night to me," you had just started putting chairs up on the tables so you could mop the floors when Aaron came in. He kissed you, spying Jonah and Charlotte, so he didn't say anything, but you could tell by the look on his face what he wanted to ask.

"Are you alright?" Was what he said instead, and you nodded, wrapping your arms around his waist briefly.

"I'm fine. We'll talk later, but are you hungry?" You asked Dave to cook one final meal for everyone, so you could all eat before you went home for the night. He didn't mind, in fact he seemed glad that you were making everyone stop to take a break and eat. He and the dishwasher ate in the kitchen while you ate with Aaron, Charlotte and Jonah.

"If things don't get better at home soon, can we come stay with you a couple of days? I'll talk to Dad about it if it's alright with you," Charlotte began, and you told her you didn't mind.

"Things are bound to be crazy at your house for a bit. If you ever need to escape that, you can come to my house."

You often thought about how it must be affecting Marty's family, and you were always trying to find a way to help out, even if it was something as small as keeping his kids for a few days so he and Wendy could regroup.

"When we're at your house, we don't deal with the drama. Mom is all about Zeke right now. It's like you actually want us around, treat us like people," Jonah explained, making you tear up a little, but you wiped it away before they could see.

"You are people, some of my favorite humans on the planet," you assured them with a smile, making Aaron grip your thigh under the table. He shot you a loving look before you cleared everyone's plates, opting to wash them yourself really quick so they weren't there in the morning.

When you joined them again, Aaron was helping Charlotte move chairs, and Jonah was making mop water behind the bar, giving you a thumbs up as he filled the bucket. You counted down the drawer and made a list of inventory, and finally you mopped once Jonah was done filling the bucket. The place looked as good as new when you finished, and so you waited on Marty to show up to get the kids, and Aaron waited with you.

"You're still coming to my house, right? The plan was to make you dinner, but now that we've ate, maybe we can just do dessert," something about his words spread heat all over your body, low enough that only you could hear, even though you were a safe distance from the kids.

"That's the plan. I have to open tomorrow but I get off early, what do you have planned?"

He kissed you quickly, headlights shining through the window to signal Marty's arrival. You knew he'd probably come in and talk about what happened today, so Aaron took off, and you promised to be right behind him.

"I'm sure you probably know that the feds raided my house. The casino and the gentleman's lounge too. I uh, I need to talk to you about something."

You knew it was coming although you weren't ready for it; you wanted to remain as neutral as possible and if he told you the truth now, you couldn't do that.

"Marty, listen--"

He put his hands up to stop you, handing you the folder he'd been holding.

"The Blue Cat is officially yours. The only way to keep you out of this was to make sure I have no legal ties to this place."

You looked through the paperwork, stunned. You'd known Marty 3 months and he trusted you more than anyone you'd ever met in your life.

"You can't be serious," you were so taken aback that you had to sit down, and Marty sat next to you, his hands clasped together.

"I didn't want any of this to happen. The least I can do is make sure you stay out of it. Did they come by today?" You told him about Maya's visit and how she seemed level headed, and wasn't worried about the restaurant.

"This place is clean, there's nothing for you to worry about," he said, taking one last look around before he went towards the door.

"Things are pretty serious between you and Hotch, yeah?" He called over his shoulder, unable to face you as he asked.

"I mean, we see each other everyday. We're getting to know each other," you told him, and he nodded, turning to look back at you.

"I hope he does right by you."

Master tags: @wheelsupkels @periodtcevans @hausofwhores s @criminallyobsessedcm @tojithesourcerkiller @fireworksinthesky



[aftgficrec]

any new sickfics? old recommendations? fluff?

We got you, friend! Some of our favorites are in the previous recs, and there are some of the more recent sick fics as well as a few much older ones for that good old-fashioned hurt/comfort fun. -F

Foxes with headaches/sick fics here

Sick Andrew here

Nicky takes care of sick Aaron here

‘on quietness and the refuge found within it’ here

‘Those That Broke Us’ here’

‘Fake it ‘til you make it’ here

‘Home’ here

‘Pause and Restart my Heart’ series here

‘Wrecked’ here

‘your love is the cure’ here

‘Crash Course in Feelings’ here

‘Crash course in feelings…remix’ and ‘Hospitals and Anesthesia’ here

‘N for nebulous’ here (now complete)

‘Back to the Start’ here

‘Because our hearts are heavy burdens…’ here

Tummy Aches and Home Remedies by divadrab [Rated G, 1882 words, Complete 2021]

Andrew got food poisoning. Neil and Aaron take care of him.

(tw: vomit)

250% by keirarosexx [Not Rated (we say T), 1942 Words, Complete, 2020]

“Your eyes are very pretty,” Andrew continued, completely oblivious, “they’re like ice. But nice ice. And I love your hair too, it’s like a pumpkin. A dark pumpkin.” Neil glanced over his shoulder to see Kevin watching on, wide-eyed.

“Jesus, he’s definitely got a fever,” Kevin muttered, walking toward the bed.

Andrew comes down with the flu and Neil is there to look after him.

The case of the fever by Eli_Writes [Not Rated (we say T), 1961 words, Complete 2021]

Neil gets sick and doesn't know what to do with himself, Andrew is there to take care of him.

(tw: implied/referenced child abuse)

let all be quiet in your head by feuertatze [Rated M, 5894 words, Complete 2021]

"It had been a particularly shit day so far, even for Kevin Day’s standards."

Four times Kevin obsessed about soccer instead of facing his ghosts and one time he didn't need to.

(tw: panic attacks, tw: alcohol, tw: blood, tw: nightmares, tw: implied/referenced abuse)

Cough Syrup and Cuddles by 03Foxes10 [Rated G, 2666 words, Complete 2021]

Andrew never got sick, but suddenly he contracts a cold. After ignoring it for a week it develops into the Flu. Andrew battles the medication’s affects while Neil makes the situation run smoother.

(Basically Andrew’s sick and Neil is comforting him. Sort of)

i scared all my friends away by cybergore [Rated T, 3076 words, Complete 2021]

then he glanced up at kevin—handsome, talented, ridiculous, pompous kevin. the kevin who played video games with aaron whenever he asked, and made fun of aaron’s chronic bedheads by ruffling them up and making the whole mess worse.

fuck it. he was going to do this.

(tw: vomit, tw: alcohol, tw: internalized homophobia, tw: implied/referenced child abuse)

I Ain't the One by conniptionns [Rated T, 4784 Words, Complete, 2017]

After retiring from exy, Neil is faced with an illness and Andrew realizes that his life isn't worth wanting without Neil. When Ichirou comes to exact his final payment, how will the men respond?

(tw: blood, tw: fainting)

headcanons for what the foxes are like when sick by @toosicktoocare [Tumblr, 2017]

Do you have any headcanons for what the Foxes are like when they're sick?

Neil being sick prompt fill by @foxesbettingpool [Tumblr, 2016]

In which I hit Neil being sick and Andrew bonding with the cats

(tw: vomit)

[lizzzzoo]

None of Robert's relationships will be ruined. They ain't playing that game this time. He'd have been kidnapped by Cain if they were. Robert has actually been treated quite lightly by this storyline so far... It'll be Aaron falling apart where he'll get hit. And hit hard. That's where he faces up to his mistake.

Yeah I don’t think his relationships with and Liv and Chas will be hit that hard, if they are at all. And no one else has batted an eyelid because they don’t give a shit. It is the relationship with Aaron that’s taking the beating you’re right

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Planning a romantic weekend away

Jimmy: Gracie came at me earlier. There was mistletoe up and I near fully hit the floor 😎 Jimmy: Hold fire though. She only wanted to tell me to convince you of summat. Pretty sure you already know what it is Janis: Erm...Father Christmas is really real? That her weave isn't from dead Brazilian hookers? Janis: Enlighten me or I'll tell her she's got a holiday free pass on you 😈 Jimmy: Double date. Need I say more 😡 Janis: FUCK. I DIDN'T THINK IT'D ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Janis: How far does she expect the season of goodwill to extend, like? Already got some poor cunt being a charitable home for her arse so she don't freeze Janis: Single tear. Janis: Question is, can we make it worth it enough for us to endure that shite? Hmm Jimmy: I almost got my arse to church so it wouldn't. Shoulda sucked off that priest when he asked. Too late? Jimmy: You better get me a top notch pressie, baby 😏 Janis: You know you ain't on the nice list 😉 Janis: So, Santa might be dissing but you'll be getting something extra special from me Janis: As for God, and his holly jolly perverted following, I reckon we're both shit out of 🍀 there, no matter how good our head game is, such is life Janis: Grah, I hear she does shoutouts now...want that 'influencer' clout, baby? Not double entendre my end but might be for GracieGuru 🙊😂 Jimmy: what the fuck we going to do then? No way I'm hanging with her and her latest 'boo boy' Jimmy: Even if I was getting paid, which is likely since she just loves common grounds Janis: Preaching to the choir, dickhead, ain't my idea of a good time either, or hers let's be fucking real. She just wants to dry-hump a slab of boy in front of you on the off chance that really gets you going for her Janis: You wouldn't call her brainy, bless Janis: Idk, don't worry about it, Jim. Just avoid her/the flat whites like the plague and I'll have to literally run away like I'm an angsty 12 year old so we can't be located, even with friend finder or whatever they stalk each other with Janis: Oooh! Just call me brains, we should pretend to have a romantic weekend away planned, that'll send her over the edge, that is her everything goals Janis: Like I said, I can hide from a hoe Jimmy: I knew there was a reason I kept you about Jimmy: Let's do it though. Easier to take than fake the 'gram Jimmy: Any ideas? 🤔 Jimmy: Most of my boltholes are far from yours and not very enviable for that crowd #it'sgrimupnorth Janis: Yeah, why do you tbh? Janis: Now its clear my sister has got no respect for anyone on her hunt for dick/self-esteem Janis: She's hoping its a twofer like Janis: I don't know if I can stand you for that long, darling Janis: But I SUPPOSE your the lesser of two evils here 😉 Jimmy: It's love 💕 Jimmy: Come on, it'll be a laff. I'll get the beers in Jimmy: You can try harder to beat me at darts and pool Janis: As far as the adoring fans/salty haterz are concerned Janis: and that's all that matters Janis: bitch i don't have to try! 😤 you put me off last time with ur mooning 😍 Janis: we don't need to convince the old fellas in the boozer Jimmy: Fuck off I was getting practice in! Jimmy: If you're ready to fake a break up say the word but until then, it takes a lot of work to give you the puppy dog eyes. I'm not Twix Janis: Sure you was 😂 Janis: N'awwh but you do it so well! Janis: Audition for the School play whilst ur at it, soft lad Jimmy: I do enough fake snogging without signing myself up for that bollocks Jimmy: You coming away with me then or not? Jimmy: You know your sister'll be in again nagging before shift's end Janis: Well, when you put it like that Janis: 😒 Janis: I ain't got nothing better to do, and I certainly ain't third wheeling her fake date Janis: My grandparents got a place down skerries Janis: we can crash there Jimmy: How many rooms they got? My dad's working so I'll have to bring the ramble with Jimmy: #goals I know Janis: Fucking hell, my pissing sister! She owes you more than she's spending on coffee for the hassle she's causing Janis: If you really can't, don't worry, I'll sort her. She'll be unbearable when she finds out it was all for a laugh but it was at her expense so how much of a mug can she actually make me feel? 😑 Janis: That said, there's 3 rooms, its only a caravan don't get excited but the kids would probably be buzzin', it is pretty nice down there Janis: I'll even let you have the double bed to yourself Janis: ol Janis: l Jimmy: It'll stop them nagging me about going somewhere other than the park that'll do me Jimmy: Cass talks big but she isn't even really so doable Jimmy: Don't be getting any ideas though 😍😉 my brother hasn't slept well since we moved. I'll be sharing that double like it or not Jimmy: What a way to spend my first proper time off since I started #blessed Janis: Yeah, fish and chips on the beach even tho its fucking baltic, chasing Twix will keep 'em warm, you'll earn major big brother points as well as bae ones Janis: What a mighty fine man Janis: Same here, Cass. Shh about it though Janis: Like you said, it'll be a laugh, we can make it one Janis: You'd really rather be making pinkity drinkidies or whatever the fuck they are? Jimmy: Nope. But your 1st romantic break usually is. Any talent there is in all grans playing bingo? Jimmy: Be nice to get something off the 'gram 💋 Janis: I ain't been since I was about 9 Janis: I wasn't after bitches then and I ain't now Janis: I wish you luck, 2 kids hanging on your arm and a woman back home, like Janis: Does it for some. Jimmy: I'd do some talking first to get things clear I'm not tall Tammy 😂 Jimmy: Bet you were a right cute kid, weren't you? Aww Janis: Again, have fun explaining that one, mate. I'd struggle with the concept and I'm in on it. Janis: Adorable. What happened? Jimmy: Shut up you know what you look like, mate Janis: A butch lezza? Janis: So I've been told 👍 Jimmy: That's not what they are saying anymore. Check my comments sometime. The lads are gagging for you now Janis: Goody gumdrops. Janis: I'll leave my knickers at the door, like Jimmy: You could like. I've been waiting for you to drop me as your fake bf since this whole thing started Janis: I'm not interested in any of them. Janis: Would your world be set alight by Aaron O'Reilly from form? Janis: If you wanna cop off with some of your fans don't let me stop you Jimmy: You aren't. They're not my type anymore than Aaron's yours. I'm just saying you take a crackin pic and I should know since I'm the one takin 'em. So you don't need to spout that crap. They're just jealous of how much of a butch lezza you aren't Janis: Alright. Well, you're not half bad at taking snaps, and not in the bullshit way every hoe thinks they know their angles and magic lighting these days, you're actually decent. Janis: It don't feel like crap when Janis: blah, meant to delete that, ignore it Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Wanna help me with my art project while we're away then? Kill all the birds (hopefully not with my flash) Jimmy: I'll owe you again Janis: I won't even joke on you for being a swot 🤓🤞 Janis: What've you got planned? Jimmy: I haven't had any time to think yet beyond film being the medium but Jimmy: #workinprogress Jimmy: with a muse like you m'dear how could I go wrong 💕 Janis: 😜 Janis: just so you know, i ain't bringing any homework but put my name or yours, yeah? 😘 not even in art but might count for something Janis: clue me in tho, brainiac, what do the kiddos like? i'll get 'em something Jimmy: Rookie mistake mate, art's an easy A Jimmy: They'll take anything covered in sugar. Can't say I'll love you for it when they crash mid journey though Janis: Only 'cos you're good at it. With my genes I should be but I can barely draw a stickman. Janis: I'll stick with double sports, sports science and science 👌 Janis: I'll keep sweets in stock for bribery, goes without sayin'! Different pocket to Twix' fish treats, though Janis: I'll have a look down town Jimmy: 😂 did you see that article doin the rounds about the mum who bought her kid a cat's advent calendar Janis: 😂 Yes! Shame catnip don't work like on us like it does cats, that kid would be pingin' Janis: Might get meself some, like Jimmy: What gets dogs off their heads? I'll keep Twix well clear Jimmy: She's high enough on your 😍 Janis: I don't know, actually...telling them they're good bois? Janis: Works for you boo 😘 Jimmy: I prefer being called a very bad boy 😎 Janis: You clown 😂 Janis: Good to know, suppose. Dirty weekend away though it ain't Jimmy: what our fans don't know won't break their jealous hearts Jimmy: you coming in for your freebies today or shall I do a delivery your way once Grace is home? 😉 Janis: Kick it really cliche and be my sexy delivery boy Janis: Try and bring something with sausage in so I can come at you with the quality porn writing Jimmy: Live your fantasies as well as your sister's if you want, my name tag says Jonathon today Janis: Ooh, spicing it up with some roleplay like we're middle-aged okay Janis: How boring are you that you've picked a name so similar to your own...this is why we've hit a dry patch, Jimothy! Jimmy: What would you seriously pick? Janis: For you? Janis: Who's a fittie... Janis: Anthony Joshua could get it Janis: You don't want to be in the play but reckon you can stretch to that? Jimmy: Next time I lose my name tag I'll insist on that. For the bae 💕 Jimmy: About as close as I'll get I think Janis: Who do you want? Janis: I wanna know your type Janis: Bar Tall Tammy Jimmy: Your sister obviously Janis: Fuck off, not even funny Janis: If that were true, you know where she lives bitch, I ain't stopping ya, she's practically shoe-horning you in 🤢 Jimmy: I meant the fit older one 😉 Janis: Ohhh Janis: Still, do one 🖕 I'm not pretending to be my sister you freak Jimmy: That's one pretense too far. Got it 😂 Janis: Yeah, in this hypothetical you've really shit the bed, pal. Jimmy: I only half read that because #customers and thought you called me shit in bed mate Janis: well... 😏 Jimmy: I fake rocked your world Janis Cavante! 😂 Janis: you know we faked it so i didn't have to fake it 💅 Jimmy: Aaron O'Reilly's walking through the door want me to slip him your number and end this? 😝 Janis: I will murder you. Janis: also he might think your trying to set up a threeway for YOUR benefit, so if you wanna take over the gay rumours that bad, go for it 💋🍆 Jimmy: I've seen you with a pool cue I think I'm safe Jimmy: Give a shit. At least I actually am butch Janis: Psh, you're all show no grow Janis: We're arm wrestling, then you'll see Jimmy: 💪 I'll beat you at that too then, shall I? 🏆 Janis: Bring it on. I won't make you cry too hard, save face in front of the kiddos. Janis: 'Let' them kick your arse too 😜 Jimmy: Try it, baby girl 😝 Jimmy: Cass probs could no lie. Scrappy af that one Janis: Good girl 👍 Janis: Gotta keep you in check Jimmy: Doubt you'll be calling her that when she's shadowed you all weekend Jimmy: She loves you. Who knows why? Janis: I keep telling you I'm a delight Janis: Has this...how long has it been? Month, 2? Of SHEER BLISS taught you nothing Janis: Ruuuuude. Jimmy: Nope. I'm with Team Bobby. You're a gross meanie Jimmy: As all girls are 😂 Janis: Well I'm winning Bobby 'round this weekend by hook or by crook Janis: then you can please yourself, billy no mates Janis: Team Janis 💪 Jimmy: Every bro knows you can't be friends with your girl Jimmy: DUH Janis: Oh yeah, all straight couples HATE each other and that's #goals Janis: If I can't be chatting shit on you, how will I get to talk about you constantly to my gals? Janis: Singing your praises? I THINK NOT Jimmy: Speaking of, Gracie and co are back on the premise that Tall Tammy left her....something. I wasn't listening. Should I break the news we won't be here for date night or do you want to do the honors Janis: Dignity? That's long gone, honey. Janis: Ooh, lemme do it, you're coming round with the sausage anyway Janis: We can do it together baby Jimmy: awhhh Jimmy: I've hidden the mistletoe but she can see the top of the highest counters!! I'm on borrowed time what do I do? Janis: Headbutt her in the teeth Janis: 'Accidentally' Janis: Can't help being a normal-sized human Jimmy: #customerservice Jimmy: then recommend her our chewy cookies 😂 Janis: You can see why I'm not trying to be your work wifey too, yeah? 😂 Janis: If you can convince any of those girls to break their diet, I'll be impressed Janis: Don't count if they go vom in the bogs after tho Jimmy: Gracie might be on her way already. One of her posse asked what you were getting me for Christmas and I didn't hold back Janis: Oh no, am I about to get slut-shamed? 😲 Janis: Or, heaven forfend, tips Janis: I will die Jimmy: Damn I didn't think of that. Sorry Janis: Its cool Janis: She's all mouth anyway, not in a beneficial to the cause way Janis: Be interesting hearing what she thinks you want, keep ya posted lol Jimmy: 🙌 Can't wait Janis: that's what you're meant to say about my present! Jimmy: I did, swear 🤞 Janis: what do you actually want Jimmy: Don't worry about it Janis: Oh, is it? If I'm not fucking your brains out you're not interested Janis: Fine then, save my reddies. 👍 Jimmy: That's what I was thinking. Stage a break up before 🎄 for max drama and min spends Janis: Cool. If you wanna. Janis: Just don't tell everyone you chucked me 'cos I wouldn't give it up. Already a frigit. Janis: What's the story then? Jimmy: Obviously not. We've been hooking up for ages got to keep it #goals Jimmy: I don't know haven't thought that far ahead it just makes sense to get out before gifting Janis: Yeah. Fair. Janis: Think on and let me know Jimmy: You too. We can brainstorm at the weekend. Nothing but time then Jimmy: Can't break up right after the break though Janis: Would look sus, yeah. Janis: Maybe I'll whup you one too many times, your fragile male ego can't hack it, eh? Jimmy: Grace'd be smug 😩 Jimmy: Can't even fake that, babe Jimmy: Nobody'd believe the story Janis: She's gonna be regardless Janis: I got the shitty end of the stick here like but ain't nowt we can do about it now Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: No we're goals we just burned too bright that's all 😂 Jimmy: You've got way more time served with me than she does any of her boos she doesn't win Janis: Mhmm. Calm down, Icarus. Sure you'll be comparing some other bint on a balcony to the sun in no time. 😘 Janis: Suppose so. Least hers are real, if not short-lived, and, well, shit. Janis: She won't know the difference anyway Jimmy: There's nobody like you 💕 Jimmy: Exactly I'm not going to tell her we weren't real Janis: Bullshit 💕 Janis: True enough, I'll take it. Jimmy: Shit gotta go the boss is back Jimmy: Love you 💕 Janis: Love you too, Jonathon 💕