#AAHW MAG (MadCom) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

artoriarts · 1 year ago

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Ok I don’t want to go make art and I don’t want to go find something good to scrounge up and post so I will instead spout assorted madcom headcanons. these are far from the last you will see from me.

- sanmos 4 lyfe (big sloppy heart emoji) they are both like playfully flirty in diff ways with other people but also so so monogamous at the same time they love eachother sooo much have the healthiest relationship known to man. ignore all the killings.

- 2bhank with the same energy as medic tf2 x heavy tf2. but like also 2b is catboy herder for hank. he holds the laser pointer in the relationship. hank isn’t like full creature I’m still the kind of girlie to place him solidly as kind of the stoic and dysfunctional sociopath but he’s got some of those beasty tendencies in him. the two have such strong attachment to each other but they both have such difficulty expressing it. hank doesn’t know how human well and 2b simply isn’t a soft person even when he wants to be. but they work with what they have. deimos and sanford are so invested in their relationship they chitchat about it constantly. in the most supportive way they want it to go well they just talk about the two being cute and try to help when they hit rocky points. the power couple is so stable they can take on other couple’s drama.

- I don’t know what the ship name is for tricky and hank but there’s like a tiny bit of that too. tricky is hank’s crazy ex but they were never in an actual relationship clown has just been desperate for the dick day one and has not let up for a single second. especially after the halo fiasco literally everyone hates them but they stay silly

- whitehank exists because of something along the lines of hank’s genome getting copied to aahw database when he went in the magnifier and using that agency got the bright idea that if they can’t beat hank. they can make their own. I don’t know actually how she should fit into everything but I like the idea it feels appropriately silly for madcom. the only thing I’m really decided on is that she eventually switches sides and 2b, carrying the entire trans community of nevada on his old man spine, hooks her up on titty skittles and him and hank informally adopt her because cold sad clone babygirl needs parents. she’s like all of hank’s feral swagger if you made it sopping wet and also like garage band punk. I can’t decide if she’s musclegirl as I’ve drawn her before or make her skinny legend I need to lock down the vibes. One important design thing that i know is coming however is that since she’s a copy of mag hank specifically, while hank gets demagnified in my little post canon design shit, she does not, so she is de facto tallest out of the. what do you even call the gang. just the gang? agency for hank wimbleton? the motley crew. the dnd party. nevada’s most wanted. that one actually works we’ll go with that

- funny thing I’ve considered for sheriff is that after whatever happens in project nexus dude just. pisses off somewhere. half hooks up with jeb to make a neutral party for people who just want to fuckin live. while jeb’s on the offensive side of that trying to actively stop the madness sherrif is the defensive side just making settlements for normal people to live they lives. something along those lines. it’s quaint. him and whitehank get together maybe. little guy woos the giant cryptid lady with his southern charm.

- the auditor is workplace sexual harassment personified. simultaneously in the fanfic suave way and the restraining order kind. they talk like stephan weyte. they think they’re soo cool and when someone doesn’t think they are when they want them to they run away and cry.

- I wish I could come up with something for jeb to like round out the primary cast but like honestly he’s the one I spin around in my head the least. I like his motive of make shit normal but maybe he’s just like too clear cut. he’s already got a full character there’s nothing for me to add.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

#madness combat #hank j. wimbleton #2bhank #sanmos #headcanon #madcom #sheriff madness combat #white hank #madness combat auditor #madness sanford #madness combat 2bdammed #madcom deimos #i feel so desperate tacking on so many tags but like #i want people to see :<

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saltymongoose · 3 years ago

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Lmfjdjdd just got the dumbest idea. Employers putting up flyers of the player saying “lost if found return to nearest aahw building.” Them going on air being like “Player we’re sorry please come home : (.” Fricking sending out Mags and Soldats and their all like “here player here player” like some lost pet. Meanwhile ya boys get tired of it and put up some flyers of their own “player is safe and sound. You will never get them back” plus like a picture of the crew flipping the bird

This is actually a perfect idea, I love it lmao. In fact, I liked it so much that I'm making it "canon" in the series with these headcanons. Hope you like 'em Anon! ❤ :D

The Employers Attempt to Get You Back ft. The Auditor, Hank, Deimos, & Sanford (+ 2BDamned & the Employers)

(TW: Yandere, Obsessive Behavior)

When you had decided to leave them once and for all, the Employers hadn’t been able to do anything. The strings that firmly held the Auditor at the door, stopping the Employers from reaching you, had lasted for hours after you left. The moment they started to loosen, the Auditor was quick to struggle against them again, feeling almost triumphant as they finally fell from his limbs. However, that brief feeling of victory was quickly replaced by frantic worry and deep dread, something that was shared by the rest of the Employers. They were free to do what they wanted now, yes. But the question was what they should do.

It had been an agonizingly long time since you’d walked through that door; you could be anywhere by now, and even worse, with anyone.

The Employers knew that you were the safest with them. They were some of the most powerful beings within Nevada after all, unparalleled by that of the Nexus Core or Status Quo. And while your own abilities were certainly nothing to scoff at, you weren’t as accustomed to life in the wasteland as they were. You were a strategic genius compared to most grunts, and had a level of knowledge about them and their world that left them in awe (and further adoration). But, nonetheless, in their eyes you were too innocent to truly comprehend the horrors of what lay waiting in Nevada. They didn’t want you to have to deal with the dangers of the wretched, chaotic places you led your vessels to. That in itself was another issue.

You controlled, but it wasn’t your job to fight. It was your vessel’s. And they all knew that there was no one better suited to be your protector than someone at their level. (Even if the other Employers were very slightly annoyed that the Auditor would probably insist on fulfilling that role himself.)

Needless to say, their new central objective was to get you back, they had to. Who knows what vile creatures might try to take advantage of your kindness, or even harm you. They’d destroy whoever laid their hands on you.

The only thing they had to go off of when trying to find you was that you were either close to or inside Nexus City. The surveillance feeds that the Auditor had access to were noticeably bare of your presence, save for the few he had managed to set up on the most outer fringes of Nexus territory. But unfortunately, due to the rather terse relationship the AAHW had with the Nexus, he lacked direct access within the city itself.

While Phobos himself had been useful for keeping an eye on the happenings within the area at one time, the Nexus had been operating without the Director’s influence for a few decades. And it seemed the Auditor had overlooked how useful the grunt was at the time. A shame, but none of the Employers could find it within themselves to care once he’d met his untimely death. It seems their ignorance of the Nexus’ influence had come back to bite them. Annoying.

The only option that the Auditor had was to use his own forces to proceed. Before he’d been more cautious about stirring up an unneeded conflict with the Nexus Core, but at this point he was ready to do the direct opposite. Nothing would stand in his way to get you back. If he had to utilize the AAHW for this purpose, then it would be done.

However, something he wasn’t exactly fond of was having to disclose information about you to the grunts whom he employed; nameless, faceless individuals who he deemed as too insignificant to warrant knowing about you otherwise. (The last thing he wanted to deal with was more competition, and from lowly grunts nonetheless.) But it was efficient.

(A part of him also hoped, perhaps foolishly, that you’d appreciate the dedication he was putting into finding you. He always wanted you to know just how much you meant to him, and using sacrificing his own men just to get you back would surely show you how serious he was in his commitment to you. Who else would be willing to nearly sabotage their entire operation for the sake of one person? More than he'd expect, not that he knew that. Yet.)

Naturally the grunts who worked for the AAHW were very confused about their new orders, to put it lightly. The entire reason for their organization was to hunt down Hank J. Wimbleton, not some random weird grunt-like creature. But it’s not like they were willing to lose their jobs just because of a weird assignment, so the Employers were in luck.

All they were given was a very brief rundown of how your abilities looked when you used them, and a single photo of you. The orders were simple; apprehend "The Player" by any means necessary. Violence was prohibited in relation to the direct target though, something their boss made very clear. ("If any harm comes to the Player by any of your hands, I will know. And it will result in your immediate termination." They silently nodded at the order, filled with pure bewilderment. The Auditor had never taken the time to give instructions personally before. Guess you were very important.)

However, despite the rather simple instructions they were given, the AAHW really didn’t know how to go about this. Finding Hank’s whereabouts were rather simple; just follow the trail of destruction he leaves behind or wait for him to come to one of the bases. But they knew nothing of your habits or how you traveled, or even what your goal was. The Engineers were panicking, trying to figure out some way to come up with results. If the Auditor’s sudden interest in their actions was anything to go by, failure to meet his requests wouldn’t bring anything good.

Then, an idea struck. “Why don’t we put up missing person flyers?” A Soldat had asked, pausing when an entire group of frazzled Engineers snapped to look at him. “What?”

Honestly they hadn’t really considered it before but it might work? Your appearance was certainly unique enough to stick out compared to any grunt. Maybe someone would report your presence so they could finally track you down? (They were desperate for any sign of you at this point.)

And so the invading AAHW members, instead of focusing on fighting back the Nexus or ridding the bandits from the city, or hell, even defeating Hank (their primary objective!), were putting up flyers on every semi-intact wall and post they could find. In addition to this, some had taken to calling out your title to try and catch your attention (which most of the Engineers thought was stupid but armed them with megaphones nonetheless.)

Unbeknownst to the agents, the other Employers had overlooked their actions, some with more enthusiasm than others. The Deliberator actually suggested making their own messages to you. “How can they know we’re genuine if we don’t do something ourselves?” He had reasoned, to which the others quickly agreed.

Soon tapes had been handed out, each containing a plea by the Employers for you to come back, along with lengthy apologies for what they’d done to possibly drive you away. They even did live broadcasts of the same topic. But they were never really specific, which just made the AAHW personnel more confused when they heard them. But, hey, it was still less dangerous than pursuing a murderous psychopath, so at least there was that.

Speaking of Hank, the other Employers had inquired why the Auditor just didn’t use him or 2BDamned to try and find you. They were the most recent of their "independent contractors" after all. But the Auditor was very resistant to involving them at all. The two were also some of the vessels you seemed to favor, along with Christoff and the other two deserters (Deimos and Sanford, if he remembered correctly). He’s seen the way they appear to adore you, and it disgusts him (ignoring how hypocritical it is on his part, of course. He’d refute the accusation anyway). Plus, the two aren’t exactly fond of him by any means; who’s to say they wouldn’t manipulate you into a tool to use against him? He wasn’t willing to risk bringing you such attention.

However, even if he refused to involve the more independent people he had as contacts, he still had more elite forces at his disposal.

The Engineers, now stationed in Nexus City (and still panicking) were shocked when the MAG Agents had arrived. It appeared that even they didn’t know what exactly they were supposed to be doing there, so the higher-ups simply had them help out in their manhunt for you. Admittedly, it was a lot easier to put the bigger posters up with their assistance anyway.

Soon it seemed like a third of the AAHW's forces were being funneled directly into Nexus territory to find this "Player". Why, they didn't exactly know, but it was important enough for the Auditor to expend more resources than they ever remember using to find Hank. Most of them just hoped they didn't run into him out here.

But unfortunately for them, this wouldn't be so simple.

Unbeknownst to the AAHW, you and your current vessels were actually rather close to the area where the Auditor had decided to "invade" the city. Doc had been keeping an eye on the situation, and as much as he'd like to keep you away from them, you had to resupply before relocating somewhere else. Plus, you'd been wanting to go out for a while, and none of them could really deny your requests anyway.

Hank was the first to notice the posters, coming to a stop to look at them with undisguised disdain. The others followed suit, quickly walking up to the wall that was covered with flyers.

"Dude, what the hell is this?" Deimos asked aloud, ripping one of the many flyers from its place and scowling once he read the wording. It was a lengthy description of you, from everything about your hair to the precise measurement of your height and facial features. At the bottom was an order, large and in bold:

"IF FOUND, RETURN TO THE NEAREST AAHW FACILITY UNHARMED. REWARD - TEN MILLION DOLLARS"

"They put a bounty on you?" Sanford muttered in disbelief, and you grimaced, feeling queasy as you looked up at the near mural of demands for someone to take you back.

You knew it was only a matter of time before the Auditor attempted to retrieve you, but a part of you was hoping it wouldn't come so soon. You tried to ignore your growing anxiety though. You had a job to do and didn't want your unease to slow you and your group down. But it was impossible to do so when the situation got worse.

The further you and your vessels ventured into the outskirts, the more drastic the measures to get you back appeared. The posters got larger and covered more areas, and you flinched when what sounded like an intercom ringing loudly before you heard the Auditor's voice echo from it. Apologizing, yet refusing to say what he did wrong. Begging for you to come back. Promises that may or may not be genuine.

You shrunk in on yourself, which caught the attention of your vessels. You couldn't go back, you refused to subject yourself to that discomfort and the captivity and the thick tension that seemed to prevail whenever the Employers shared your presence. You had just left, why couldn't you be free for them for longer? You'd made your position clear, why couldn't they respect that? What else were they willing to do to retrieve you? What would happen if they knew where you were?

In the midst of your spiraling thoughts, you were unable to notice the worried looks of your current vessels. They saw the fear and nervousness clear on your face, and they could feel a bubbling pit of anger rising from within them when the distinct shine of tears building up in your eyes caught their attention. How dare they.

Sanford was quick to comfort you, placing a hand softly on your shoulder to bring you out of your zoned-out state. When your eyes focused on him, he gave you a reassuring grin (even if he felt like hunting down the nearest AAHW Agent and giving them a beating of a lifetime for putting up those flyers. But comforting you was far more important). "You're safe, don't worry. We won't let them take you," he spoke, heart breaking a little each time you glanced up at him with watery eyes. The "from us" in his meaning went unstated, but the others knew and agreed (even if you were oblivious).

"Yeah! There's no way you're going back, we won't let that happen," Deimos asserted, coming back to your side. "We're never gonna give you up, right?" He grinned at the snort the quip earned from you. (Perhaps a little ill-timed, but he was willing to risk a failed joke if it was to cheer you up.)

Though he shot an annoyed glance at Hank's next remark. "I will kill them if they try," the tall grunt rasped, and you smiled crookedly in response. You were still thankful, it was the closest thing to a promise one could ever get out of him. Plus this was Hank, violence was to be expected.

After a brief moment, one that was a lot calmer than before with the boys' gentle reassurance (in their own ways, at least), Deimos spoke again. "Hey, why don't we make posters of our own?" He suggested (half to get your attention back on him, much to Hank's distaste). "Like kind of a "fuck you" to the Employers, ya know?"

Sanford looked at him disapprovingly. "I don't think that's the best idea - that would just be telling them we're here."

Just as Deimos was about to retort, you beat him to it.

"No, no. Let's do it," You said, steeling your expression into one of determination. "They need to know that I won't be bossed around. They may've brought me here, but I'm not theirs to control. If they don't understand it now, we will make them. Besides, we're leaving this location tomorrow anyway."

The three grunts looked at you in shock. You raised a brow at their silence and they snapped out of it, quickly talking over each other to agree with you and start planning out these new, better flyers. Even Sanford seemed on board, as if he hadn't just been in staunch resistance to the idea.

(They've never seen you so assertive before. It made them feel a bit flustered if they were honest, though luckily you were too focused on their words to question the pink that tinged their faces.)

As soon as you returned to the base, the boys were quick to try to set things up for a "photo shoot" with you. Hank was rather pleased when you asked for him to join you in most of the pictures (you figured having him there would really piss off the AAHW). He decided it would be best to have you rather close to him, to show you were companions and all. But you took it a step further, instructing for him to embrace you as you wrapped your arms around his large form and rested your head on his chest. It was an order he was all too happy to fulfill.

Naturally the others were far less than enthused about this, Deimos' smile going tight-lipped and his white-knuckled grip making his camera creak once the tall grunt nuzzled even closer to you. He could almost feel the haughty expression Hank had under his mask, silently gloating about how you were cuddling into him. Sanford was no better, giving the grunt a dark glare while trying to hold the lamp they were using for light perfectly still (which was actually quite difficult to do when angry).

They paid him back by making him hold the light for their own solo shots with you. They were lucky you were present, cause they knew he'd probably throw it at them otherwise.

Much to your surprise, Doc was also on board with the idea as well, even posing in his own photo with you. A mundane domestic shot of you two cooking in close quarters to each other. Really nothing that noteworthy, but if it coincided with the theory he had about why the Auditor wanted you back, he's sure it would get a good reaction. (Plus he also may've just wanted to do something domestic with you, not going to lie.)

In a short time you had amassed a collection of your own photos, which you knew would make far better material than the weird flyers the AAHW would put up. Pictures of you with your favored vessels, showing off just how much you enjoyed being with them. Though your favorites included you all flipping off the camera, which you hoped the Auditor would see the most of. It was beautiful, how a simple hand gesture could encapsulate the entirety of your feelings for him.

Though this was not all. Deimos even stole one of the "apology tapes" and reworked it to include a short piece by you as well. After a lengthy plea for your return, it would cut to a clip of your voice. Cold and unfeeling, but a short answer that could not be argued with. "No." (You actually had to record that one a number of times, since Deimos kept trying to make you laugh during it. More outtakes meant more time to spend with you.)

Your vessels looked at you with unseen adoration as you smiled and reviewed the photos. They were actually kind of happy with the way this had turned out. This way, those bastards who made you cry would understand where you really belonged. Right by their sides, where you'd stay.

After the new material was "released" (aka strewn about by Deimos, Hank, and Sanford when they went out alone for once), the AAHW personnel was quick to notice. In place of their flyers were new ones. They had different pictures, but the participants were the same. The three deserters who'd betrayed them, along with their main enemy. And you.

("You gotta be fucking kidding me," an Engineer deadpanned as he saw Hank and their target flipping off the camera in one of the "group selfies". "Him? Again!?!...I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, what do we do-")

The Auditor had also seen these flyers of course. The way his flames flared up in a silent display of his rage at seeing them completely terrified his men. He tore down one of the posters, shadowy claws ripping into it after he read the text that was printed on it and all the others.

"Our Player is safe and sound. You will never get them back."

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