#AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH fuck

[candlelitutopia]

yk maybe slovenia not qualifying for these kinds of tournaments was actually a good thing for my personal mental health

[slipperywhenwet0o0]

Still thinking of her

Tearing up

[siancore]

Chapter 4 of We Live Such Fragile Lives is posted!

In this high school AU, secret friends Sam and Bucky conspire to win Sam the class presidency. To boost his popularity, football player Bucky suggests they pretend to date.

In this chapter, it is finally Homecoming week. Emotions are boiling. A football game happens around the Crowning of the Court.

Read it from the beginning here

[heylookomegas]

One punch Boys and how they feel about being pregnant

King

Did you say “Valid as fuck excuse to retire from heroing”? Because that’s what he heard.

This man would be popping bottles if it wouldn’t hurt his new internal tamagotchi.

Immediately sends a mass email telling everyone he knows from the association so they won’t worry when he doesn’t show up to meetings. (And also so they don’t ask him to.)

Because of his previous career as a hero and living below his means for so long he has quite a lot of money saved up and is quick to make an elaborate budget and start looking up larger residences. 

His general reaction will be positive regardless of whether he’s happily married and the baby was planned or if this was the result of a random hook up.

The only things that change are his nanny budget and what he tells the press. If this was a hookup baby then he’s telling every reporter that asks about the father that they were an “Anonymous donor” which isn’t really a lie, technically.

Zombieman

*Deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Immediately rushes to the doctor, not to get rid of it but to make sure his powers aren’t going to mess with the baby.

The answer is yes and no. His regenerative powers are causing seriously accelerated cell growth, but his reproductive system has dealt with that by splitting the initial zygote into multiple babies and growing them faster than normal. Repeat screaming.

He’s only going through with this if he’s already mated and moved in with his alpha, otherwise it would be totally irresponsible of him to keep multiple babies.

He loves his kids more than anything but he 100% has the worst pregnancy experience, all the symptoms are magnified, all the medicine he’s given doesn’t get processed properly by his body so it’s useless, he gets so hungry so fast he almost takes a bite out of his alpha and suddenly everyone is allergic to minding their own damn business.

Ends up taking something more like an extended vacation than retiring, he recovers from everything too quickly to justify to himself not going out and saving people.

Genos

Has to have a test tube baby since he’s basically just a brain in a hunk of metal.

Thank you Dr. Kuseno for your volunteering to help with this project.

And thank you house of evolution for the involuntary donation of your research.

Genos is psyched btw.

Saitama

“Damn, this is gonna be expensive.” 

Has a very delayed reaction to the whole thing, it’s totally possible it won’t fully sink in that he’s a mom until he’s holding a whole baby in his arms.

In the meantime he’s just living his life about the same as he always was minus alcohol and sushi.

He’ll be 8 months pregnant and punching aliens into oblivion.

Wins award for most clueless new mom. Maternal instincts of a brick this one.

Mumen Rider

WORRIED

Worried about cost, worried about danger, worried about birth plans, worried about birth defects, worried worried worried!

Someone please calm him down before he spirals into the center of the earth.

He’s going to need serious emotional support from his alpha and a lot of meditation apps.

Under all the anxiety he is happy, he’s always wanted a baby and well there’s never truly a right time is there?

Is there???

Garou

Goes from “Oh my god my life is ruined!” To “My baby is gonna be cooler than ALL ya’lls babies!” In like a week.

He just needed time to figure out how to fit a baby into his life mentally(if not practically.)

Has no idea what he’s doing but like a true Gen Z parent he’s doing what the internet tells him to.

Googling “Who has the happiest kids?” Followed by “Netherlands parenting” followed by “How to routine”

Garou honestly has to double check he’s still pregnant once in a while, his body doesn’t start noticeably changing until the final trimester and his symptoms are very mild. He didn’t even have any kind of morning sickness.

Fully committed to giving birth at home in his bathtub because he thinks the government will show up to take his baby and train it to be a super soldier or something and he’ll never see them again. Saitama said that “sounds like something the government would do.” While they were randomly getting udon together one day. Saitama’s emails from the hero association get a lot more passive aggressive after that, not that he notices.

[almostsweetangel]

Your Jonathan piece is 🔥You really captured what Jack saw. Love the emphasis on his wedding ring because it reminds you he has already made his own vows to Mina.

IM GLAD THE WEDDING RING WAS NOTICED :D

[mochie85]

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH This was EVERYTHING!!! I screamed internally reading this passage. It was so powerful!

Like beasts, you thought with a smile. Ready to mate. “Me,” you said suddenly, biting your lip. Loki growled under his breath in approval. “I make the rules,” you finished. “Yes, my darling” Loki said, letting his dark gaze wander upwards on the two super-soldiers straining against their trousers, waiting to be unleashed. “You do.”

...aaaand this is where I came back to life...

“If she tells you to stop, and you do not immediately desist?” he said, warning licking at the timbre of his voice like flame. “Before you can finish the next thrust, lick, or wander of an unwelcome hand, you will feel the edge of my dagger slice across your throat. Understood?”

...aaaand this is where I died AGAIN!

“We just really wanna fuck you babe,” Bucky growled with a smile, his chin tucked to his chest.

I couldn't do a live reaction because I couldn't stop reading!!! Holy FUCK that was hot! It was deliciously filthy and I am in awe of your writing and skill to pull me in.

"It's always you!"

I'm floored!

A Gentlemen's Bond [Female.Reader x Loki/Bucky/Steve]

A link to my Masterlist is HERE Summary: Set a time after A Gentlemen's Agreement, you and Loki decide to open up your bedroom. And who better to join you? Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI. Foursome. Smut. FMMM. Includes buttsmut. Cumplay. Consent is sexy. Dirty talk. (w/c 3.7k)

“Make no mistake gentlemen, she is mine,” Loki uttered. The words tripped menacingly from his tongue. He placed a languishing kiss on the curve of your neck to make his point, a soft whimper from your lips making him smirk against the crescent. The men in front of you groaned in unison.

You knelt in front of him on the bed. His bed. The only place your fantasies shall be fulfilled. He had been emphatic about that. “You are but guests here,” he murmured in the loaded, sensual voice usually reserved for when you were alone. The god knelt behind you, upright on his knees. The rippled carving of his firm stomach pressed against your shoulder-blades as he massaged your breasts. Calloused thumb-tips tugged achingly slowly at hard nipples. You whimpered as his hands slid down your waist, steadying one against your hip while the other made lazy circles on your clit. “Rentals, if you will,” he sniffed. At the barb, Rogers and Barnes stiffened. Their tops had been stripped, but the buckles of their belts remained politely fastened. Bucky shuffled, popping his hip with his thumbs tucked inside the waist of his jeans. You saw the flash of deeply muscled lines grooves come into view. Saliva welled in your mouth. Loki chuckled. “I meant no offence,” he purred, dipping his chin to nuzzle your collarbone. “But gentlemen, if our latest bond and its stipulations are to be upheld, then we must be crystal clear on who makes the rules.” Your eyes rose from the bulge of Loki’s flexing forearm as he stroked possessively between your legs, only his thumb visible grazing your mound. They slid from Bucky to Steve, the unmistakeable hunger in their stares making you dizzy. Heavy breaths made their chests rise and fall, broad shoulders shifting as each tried to make themselves bigger. More enticing. Like beasts, you thought with a smile. Ready to mate. “Me,” you said suddenly, biting your lip. Loki growled under his breath in approval. “I make the rules,” you finished.

“Yes, my darling” Loki said, letting his dark gaze wander upwards on the two super-soldiers straining against their trousers, waiting to be unleashed. “You do.” His fingertips cupped against your clit, pushing up. You hissed with pleasure as Steve groaned a long, shaking sigh. “Run through the rules again, I jus’ wanna...jus’ wanna be sure,” he grunted, fingers now drawn irrevocably to the polished sheen of his buckle.

“It is quite simple,” Loki breathed, the warmth of his skin fading as he drew up behind you. His knees sank into the mattress on either side of your hips. Your lover’s fingers massaged your neck, your eyelids fluttering closed on the sight of the soldiers looking sheepish as they fumbled with their heavy buckles. Loki’s voice was hard. Commanding. Fucking hot.

“She and I are bound. She is mine, as I am hers. She is under my protection. This is an invitation. An interlude, do not think it more,” he announced regally, squeezing your shoulders. He might be naked, but from the unwavering strength of his words he may as well have been in full Asgardian battle armour. The men in front of you nodded reverently. You could see the pulse points in their necks thumping. Beneath the tight material of their cotton slacks and dark jeans, snaking muscle stretched thick and tight against their hips. So hard. They were so fucking hard. Loki continued, as their stares smouldered. “If she tells you to stop, and you do not immediately desist?” he said, warning licking at the timbre of his voice like flame. “Before you can finish the next thrust, lick, or wander of an unwelcome hand, you will feel the edge of my dagger slice across your throat. Understood?”

You watched the men cast a glance towards one another, before they gave a nod of solidarity. “Still fair,” Bucky husked, stepping out of his jeans and kicking them to the corner in a crumpled heap. Steve was already folding his, turning to place them neatly on the wing-back chair by the door. “Whatever the lady wants, and nothing more, as agreed in the bond,” the blonde placated as he faced you and Loki with a lowering of his chin. You could feel the god bristle with power behind you. “We just really wanna fuck you babe,” Bucky growled with a smile, his chin tucked to his chest. “Respectfully,” Steve added, throwing his friend a scowl as the winter soldier’s jaw bobbed playfully side to side in mock scepticism. You smirked, feeling Loki lower to your ear. “You’re sure?” he murmured. The long tendrils of his hair wound through your fingers as you tilted your chin to face him. “Yes. But it’s always you. You know that, right?” The words filled the tiny space between your lips before Loki pressed his mouth to yours. His furiously hard cock was swollen snug against your spine. “Always,” he moaned quietly into your mouth. In slow tandem, you swung your gazes to meet the two sets of blue eyes already drunk with lust at the foot of the bed. “May we?” Steve said softly, gesturing to the empty side of mattress on your left with an arch of an eyebrow. You nodded, feeling the tingle of Loki’s breath on your cheek as his hands slid down your biceps. “Positions, gentlemen” he purred formally, “as discussed.” You had left the arrangements of the details of this debauched affair to your lover, a role that he was more than happy to fill. Once again, the idea of the three of them sharing conspiratorial conversations in the locker rooms filled your mind. It was foreplay. You squirmed on the bed, thighs splayed open as the gusset of your panties dragged wet. Or did they book a meeting room, you thought with a thrill.

The mattress sagged on either side, Steve and Bucky descending. Their stares crawled covetously over your curves as Loki loomed above like an archangel; sculpted from marble by Michelangelo himself. The brunette soldier leant forward, his metal palm spread against the sheets as his parted lips met yours. You sighed into his touch, running your fingers over his temple and combing back the long strands while his tongue danced in your mouth. He didn't taste like whisky this time, you noticed. The digits ran down his neck, feeling every tense of the ferocious muscle hiding beneath his skin. Loki’s cupped fingers massaged your clit, waves of pleasure building while his low, ragged breaths ghosted your ear.

Your fingers grazed down Bucky’s back, feeling raised trails and valleys of scar tissue. Bucky shivered, breaking from your lips. A strand of saliva hung between you before you turned, immediately meeting the mouth of the blonde soldier waiting impatiently to your right. The taste of his teammate was still strong on your tongue as you kissed him in a rising waft of ginger from his skin, melting together with your back still pressed to Loki’s chest.

Suddenly Loki pulled you back, letting Barnes slip your calves from beneath you. The brunette pushed your knees apart, thighs falling open. “Fuck, girl” he rasped, running a hand through messy, curtained hair with a sigh, “that’s fuckin’ pretty.” Your head lay against Loki’s lap, his violently hard cock pressed against your ear. You could feel the blood thumping through his veins, every pump throbbing against the angle of your jaw. The god lowered a lingering kiss to your lips, his tongue melting inside your mouth while Bucky’s began to run flat licks against your little cunt. Your pretty cunt. The moans from his throat were different from those you were accustomed to from Loki. Half-formed words lingered on heavy breaths that retained the thick accent slopping against his worship. You moaned like a whore as another set of lips fastened to a nipple, soft fingers toying and pinching the other. Your eyelids fluttered open, the sight of a muss of blonde hair latched to your chest while a chestnut crown rose between your splayed legs. It felt strange. Naughty. And it felt fucking good. Bucky’s thumbs dug into your hips, a shock of metal making you buck into him as cool steel became warmth. Loki’s voice bubbled in the air like liquid silver, the sound making it all feel like a lucid dream. “That’s my girl. Let them service you, pleasure you,” it said slowly. Your fingers wound in the short strands of Steve’s hair, the other grasping a tuft of Bucky’s, urging him deeper. They moaned in unison against your heated skin. The sound was transcendent. “Let them worship you, as I do,” Loki hummed as he watched in rapture, cock twitching against your cheek. “Just for tonight.” The cacophony of sighs dashed against your body like waves on rocks, wearing away any insecurities you ever had with each muted groan of pleasure. The coil winding inside you began to tremble and tighten. Your eyes refocused to Loki’s jaw set above your widening stare. His lips were parted, his whole body smouldering with arousal. Eyes fixed on you, writhing beneath him under the soldiers’ charms. “L-Loki, I’m gonna co-” you panted, seeking his approval in a moment of doubt. His knuckles trailed over the lines of your jaw, over the tight skin as the veins in your neck strained. Your head pressed heavy against his thighs, his fingers steadying beneath your chin as he held you in place. And still, his darkened eyes were fixed on you. “Come for them, sweet. Let them hear how beautiful you sound as you tumble over the edge,” he cooed in sultry tones, loud enough for the men to hear. Bucky suckled your clit with a wet growl, alternating wide licks that started deep in your core to the tip. The captain’s fingers tightened around your nipple, his tongue a soothing balm against the pulling sucks on the other. And with a shudder, you came. Your thighs tightened against Barnes’ head, a hand clawing down Steve’s muscled back as you shook the room with your cries of each of their names. A gush of arousal flooded the winter soldier’s outstretched tongue.

“Lie down, our good girl.” The command made chills run over your skin like the breeze from a fan. You felt Loki shift behind you, his huge frame filling your blurred vision as Steve and Bucky parted like the sea. He was so fucking beautiful, and he was all yours. Completely un-phased. The winter soldier pulled your ankles, sliding your ass to rest on the bed’s edge. Loki gracefully slotted himself crouched between your wet thighs, as you mewled his name. He chuckled, dragging his achingly turgid cock tight in his fist against your slit. “Are you happy?” he murmured solemnly. You nodded with a sex-drunk smile. “Then, gentleman,” Loki purred, casting a knowing glance to each side in turn, “positions.” The head of the god’s cock pressed inside your channel, dipping in and out as you arched up into him. Begging for more. Loki tutted playfully. He was crouching between your spread legs, hovering. “Patience, darling. We must wait for our guest.” On cue, you felt something cool and thick slather between your cheeks. Your hips bucked upwards, caught by Loki’s waiting palms. Relax, his eyes said. And so you did. A solitary ragged moan of anticipation dragged the air behind Loki’s triangular chest. Bucky. You looked up, Steve’s hardened features coming into view. The angles of his cheekbones had sharpened, pupils blown wide. He lowered, kissing you upside down as Barnes fingers played with your ass. Suddenly you felt something wide and hot nudge against your back entrance, testing you. Teasing you. “Yes,” you groaned in between Steve’s ravenous kisses, “fuck-k, yes Buck.” With a guttural moan, he edged inside; stilling as your fingers wrapped around Loki’s forearms. “More,” you gasped, pulling. Bucky obliged. Inch by inch, he filled you until his hips hit the curve of your cheeks with a gentle slap.

For a few moments, there was silence.

Each of the men held their breath, three sets of smouldering eyes drinking in the sight of the woman strewn in ecstasy beneath them. Their woman. If just for one night. “Loki, please,” you whined, thrusting up to catch his cock. All you wanted was to be filled and fucked and filled and fucked again. Loki chuckled, watching as your eyes lowered between your legs at the sight of him sinking slowly inside. The vein that had pulsed against your cheek was hard and thick along his shaft as it disappeared. Inch by goddam inch. The noise that strangled from your throat was inhuman. How appropriate, you mused; before your whole body was set alight with pleasure. Loki rocked in and out your slit, the gentle motion of his ass clenching and unclenching making your eyes roll back. How, you wondered in amazement, as Steve’s tongue massaged your own, his unfettered moans filling your throat; how is this actually happening?

The captain had taken over control of your breasts, his dexterous fingers flipping and pinching your nipples. Each wave was timed, the slow gyration of Loki and Barnes making your legs tremble. Loki slipped his forearms under your knees, hoisting you higher, his cock delving deeper. Bucky gasped gruffly, his girth sinking deeper in your ass. “H-holy shit, man” he stuttered, metal fingers steadying on Loki’s shoulder, “Shit, b-baby...you feel so fuckin’ good I swear to god.” That accent was syrup, dripping from his parted lips as he fucked you slowly. Carefully. As if you might break. And hell, maybe you would. Another climax blossomed like fire on a struck match, taking you surprise as you clenched around the furious lust filling you.

You couldn’t recall whose name you cried. Tonight, it didn’t matter. The men groaned like farmyard beasts, Bucky’s hips beginning to shudder and jolt against soft curves of flesh. His thrusts were becoming sloppy, the slap of his balls against your skin growing louder. Loki slowed the gyration of his hips, the tip of his manhood massaging your g-spot as Barnes roared behind him.

The soldier’s other hand flew to Loki’s shoulder, both squeezing in painful passion. The dark god's head fell back with a hiss as he filled you to the hilt, hair strewn in messy tendrils across his damp forehead while Bucky came behind him with a shuddering litter of curses. Every buck of your hips made sure he sank deeper, rolling with each dying syllable. Loki tilted forward as the brunette’s heavy breaths filled the air. His forehead pressed between your ringmaster's shoulder-blades, hands sliding reluctantly from the thick ropes of muscle on which they rested. “Fuck,” was all James Barnes could muster, as his cock slid gently from your ass. Loki didn’t slow his gyration as there was a changing of the guard behind your head.

Your prince's moans slipped through gritted teeth, half lidded eyes observing every searching twitch of your hands. Every crease in your forehead. Every gasp of his name.

A light sting clapped your ass, immediately massaging deep in the cheeks. You cried out, back leaving the mattress. “Careful!” Loki spat, throwing a dangerous glance over his shoulder. Out the corner of your eye, you lovingly noted the flash of emerald seidr melt from his palm. “Sorry,” Steve murmured, rubbing the surely pinked skin in apology. You squirmed with pleasure, feeling the raw stubble from Bucky’s jaw scratch over your cheek as Loki moved in shallow, pulsing thrusts. The winter soldier pressed your breasts together, beginning to palm them in circles as Steve’s cock nudged against your back entrance, still slippery with cum. A finger ran around the pucker, collecting the neglected white ropes before sucking it clean. The sound he made was filth as he edged inside, a slurping squelch of seed squeezing around his girth making his knees buckle. His fingertips sank into your flesh, pulling you onto him again and again. Carefully. Slowly. “Steve...J-James...Loki,” you mewled, making the men chuckle in unison. You could feel orgasm bubbling in your centre, wound tight and bursting with adrenaline and cum and cock. Bucky lowered his mouth to yours, sweat from his cheeks moistening your own. “You sound real fuckin’ cute when you say our names babe,” Bucky growled, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth.

“Y-yeah. Hell-yeah,” Steve gasped through staggered breaths; every pump of his hips into your ass making his eyes roll back. His face was flushed with desire, tongue darting against his bottom lip as he desperately fought to contain what you were sure were the worst curses he would ever utter. Every muscle in your body tightened as you came, the feral roars from Loki and Steve sheathed inside you making you shudder as Bucky held your shoulders fast to the bed. Stars blossomed beneath your eyelids, the erotic music of their adoration making your head spin. Steve came first, pulling your ass flush to his hips as he tumbled into ecstasy with a strangled cry of your name. He was shaking, sweaty palms not knowing where to steady himself before he slumped against Loki’s back. On cue, Loki raised your calves higher, his gentle thrusts turning with a glint in his eye. They narrowed, smouldering down at you with utter devotion as another clench of his ass sent him to the hilt. “My perfect little fox,” he grunted, voice thick with desire, dripping like wax. “End me.” Your fingers gripped the bedsheets as you felt Steve slip from your ass, hearing him stumble against the wall. Clenching around Loki’s cock, you bucked up into him with all the force you could muster. Wrung dry, spent, utterly fucked out – there was always more. For him, there was always more. Loki’s hands gripped your wrists, pushing your hands upwards against Bucky’s chest as his face buried in the sweaty crescent of your neck. He came hard, a violent juddering of his hips accompanying silence before his wet, thunderous exhale of pleasure. His breaths were heavy as he sat up, running a hand through his hair with a grin. As perfect as he ever was, but with a pink tinge in his cheeks. He stood, walking over the bed with a smile as he watched you writhe. Empty and missing them.

“Wait man, didn’t you blow?” Bucky said sceptically. He motioned to the thick cock still proudly bobbing between Loki’s thighs with no sign of abatement. The god chucked, throwing you a knowing smirk. You cleared your throat, still panting. “He’s different-” you mumbled, running your eyes hungrily down your full-time lover’s achingly hot body and back to his face. “Which is a good thing too, since this one is never sated,” Loki purred, as the men switched positions again. “Well goddam,” Bucky muttered, impressed. Your hand grasped out to thin air, searching for someone, anyone, to fill it. On cue, Bucky spread his thighs beside you, your fingers wrapping gratefully around his semi. Steve’s face scrunched, any jealousy washed away with a proceeding squeeze of his fist around his spent manhood. The final milk dripped against your ass. "Ya done big guy?" Bucky teased, a smile tugging his dimples as the captain's resolve settled back on his face. "Nossir," Steve growled, licking his lips as determined eyes roamed up your legs. In a flash, he began working wet kisses up your calves, your thighs, grunts filling the air once again. Bucky's manhood was growing tentatively in your loose fist, wanking him slowly as Loki's thighs settled on either side of your head.

“Jeez man, she tastes so good,” Steve moaned muffled against your slit. Bucky groaned in appreciation while your hand slipped up and down his length. The pace was erratic, squeezing hard and jolting with every circle of Rogers eager tongue around your clit.

“I think that might be me, your tasting,” Loki hummed, knuckles white as he stroked himself slowly above your head. You could see every straining vein on his shaft from below, the wet head tapping tantalisingly on your cheek, on your lips with every squeeze of his hand. Conducting the men like a choir. Just out of reach. “Both of you?" Steve slurred happily to himself, lost in the elixir of arousal between your legs. Fingers worked through Steve’s hair, looping back to clutch more as every messy kiss against your pussy sent you higher. Your back arched, tongue stretching upwards. You managed to lap the smooth, hot tip of Loki’s cock while he watched Rogers busy himself between your open thighs. His hand never ceased pleasuring himself, smouldering with primal need as mischievous glint you hadn’t seen before sparked in his eyes.

“Fuck,” Loki groaned, letting your lips wrap loosely around the leaking head. You sucked against his foreskin, pulling it gently between your lips. “Say his name, darling” Loki teased, voice like sea foam melting into sand, “tell the captain how good he’s making you feel. He’ll like that.” You moaned Steve’s name, filthy praise like a chant as your hips rocked against his mouth. The blonde’s fingers tightened on the soft flesh of your thighs, enthusiastic pants and the crease in his brow betraying his basest desires. Praise kink, you thought smugly; before stars burst again beneath your closed eyelids. Feeling the brush of Loki’s cock against your cheek beneath the flurry of his fist, you came with a rush of garbled curses. Sweetness flooded against the captain’s tongue as he trailed languishing licks, orgasm fading like breath on a mirror. Loki’s stomach muscles clenched, a roar filling the room as he came over your face. Hot splatter coated your lips, rolling in slow, thick trails of ambrosia over your chin, your jaw, down the curve of your neck. Bucky whined. The mattress dipped as Steve’s palms edged forwards, his body rising like goliath between your shaking legs. His mouth glistened with sex and sweat, eyes fierce and dark as hell. That stare traced every decadent rivulet of Loki’s mess before his gaze rose to its owner. “Do it,” Loki commanded slowly, smiling as he continued to stroke himself. A final drop squeezed out, landing with a filthy splat on your chin. Steve shivered, lowering his sweat damp face your shoulder. He licked upwards, growing braver as he followed the trail of Loki’s cum with dirty groans that shook through your chest. Eventually, Steve’s mouth covered yours, alternating between claiming your kiss and licking the remnants of god-seed from your cupids bow. His tongue tasted like Loki. The sensation made you clench around air. “Good boy,” Loki hummed, running his fingers through Steve’s hair as he buried himself in your neck. There was a pause, the scent of animalism thick in the air. “But now, gentlemen, it is time for you to depart.” Steve looked up with wide eyes. You heard Bucky grunt in annoyance. “You know the rules, gentlemen,” Loki continued. You could hear the smirk in his voice. “I think the lady has taken what she needs, don’t you?” The words registered in a haze. You nodded, smiling happily as your head lay nestled between the god’s comforting thighs. “Thanks boys,” you mumbled, slurred while you waved a hand that fell immediately back to the bed. The mattress shifted as bodies rose. You heard the low clunk of metal and shifting of fabric dragging against body hair as deft, familiar fingertips danced up your thigh. A tender kiss was placed on the centre of your mound as the door clicked shut. Alone again. “Happy Anniversary,” Loki breathed, seductive and hot against the tremble. Your let out a spent sigh, lost in the gentle motion of his soft kisses and pretty words. Outside, you could hear the slap of palms on shoulders as the soldiers left in measured silence. “It’s always you, Loki,” you purred again, blissfully winding fingers through his damp curls as he kissed closer to your centre. With a tingle of his magic, you felt yourself cleansed, the sex and sweat of the others dissipated. You craned down with difficulty, seeing feigned confusion etched across his forehead. “Well, yes” he purred, widening your legs with a sultry wink. “Which is why we’ve saved the best for last.”

Tags (contd in comments) @meowmeow-motherfucker @muddyorbsblr @imalovernotahater @avengersalways @littledark11 @lokikissesmyforehead @simplyholl @fictive-sl0th @thedistractedagglomeration @loveroflokiforpoeticjustice @coldnique @jaidenhawke @imalovernotahater @thomase1 @morriggannlostinfandoms @marygoddessofmischief @sebstanwhore @xorpsbane @peacefulpianist @maple-seed @yelkmelk @wheredafandomat @mistress-ofmagic @acidcasualties @ozymdias @your-taste-on-my-lips @lokidokieokie @kikster606 @peachyjinx @tbhiddlestan83 @trickster-maiden @skymoonandstardust @justjoanne242 @sidepartskinnyjeans @ladyofthestayingpower @wolfmoonmusic @brittbax @smolvenger @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kaleenjackson @fictional-hooman @psychospore @littlespaceyelf

[storytellerofuntoldlegends]

WAIT EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME SCOTT LEFT A FLOWER NAMED “this just feels right <3″ WITH THE WOOL HE GAVE JIMMY??????? 3RD LIFE AS A PAST LIFE THEORY REAL??????????

[tialris-destroyer-of-humankind]

Body: hey Sam you seem kinda stressed, what's up?

Me: oh, well school is really busy and my capstone project has a huge problem we need to solve and I feel bad for not doing dishes and cleaning.

Body: that sounds rough. Here, we found these laying around. Have fun.

Body: *intense sleepiness*

Body: *have gender crisis*

Me:

[steel-and-fire]

// tfw, you go to the comments(like a fool), on the last chapter of one of your favorite webcomics, because there is a hype moment and you want to see other people’s reactions...

and instead of that, you got some fucker spoiling the ending and the biggest plotpoint to come.

My heart has sunk on my chest xD

[rbeljedi]

“I have known Jedi. Many, many years ago. That knowing was not a gladness for me. I believed I would never know another, and I rejoiced in that belief. But it is a gladness for me to be proven wrong. I am happy to have known you, Jedi Luke Skywalker. You are more than they were… unlike the Knights of old, Jedi Luke Skywalker… You are not afraid of the Dark.

Kar Vastor

[starszakrew-a2]

Y’ALL @ringbore MADE MY DAY THERE SHE IS THERE’S MY STAR GIRL

[asexualbert]

Hey friends guess who's gonna fail English!

Me. It's me. I'm going to fail English class and I can't even seem to care.

[hobo-wizard-widogast]

HOLY SHIT THIS EPISODE WAS SUCH A WILD RIDE

[elitespacefreak]

Apparently one of the popular reads on monsterfucker booktok is about a giant man spider and the author is a USA Today bestseller so you know what? You know what?

Fuck it. Y’all about to get it. I’m gonna make it weird. If she can do it so can I.

Why is it that I can turn around and write smutty fanfiction at more or less the drop of a hat, but when I try to write something original for self publication (because I have not been impressed by any spicy booktok recommendations) I get all embarrassed and shit?

This is nonsense. Just do it.

[foxfireartist]

Potential/actual spoilers for Pokémon Scarlet & Violet

(+ ~20 updates as I finished the game)

Me: *sees Director Clavell in the trailer* He’s the villain.

Me: *starts game* …I think I might’ve been mistaken… he’s too genuine…

First conversation with Turo:

Me: HELLO HOT GUY!!!… he’s the villain, isn’t he…

Note: I haven’t finished the game yet but I’m in area zero and I think I might be right this time. If Turo is the villain then I will gladly turn myself over and surrender to whatever possibly world ending plan he’s cooked up.

Update: I knew about the time machine. I guessed from the existence of the paradox Pokémon. Turo still might be evil but I’m starting to get the sense that he wasn’t neglectful to Arven out of a lack of caring. Just that circumstances prevented him from contacting his son. I’m still not sure how to feel about this man.

Update 2: Turo, you sexy fucker! It’s rude to eavesdrop!

Update 2.5: Turo’s journals scattered about definitely seem to hint at a consumed by knowledge/create utopia (for my family?) narrative. Something kinky hinky is going on. I feel in my… bones. Definitely my bones.

Update 3: Nemona, you have billions of brain cells and they’re all too consumed by violence for you to spare even ONE for rationality or common sense. Seriously?! |Penny: One wrong step and we’re dead. Nemona: Oh yeah, we’re mortal beings who can’t fly. I forgot. Good call, Penny! 😃| Good lord. I love ya, darlin’ but you’re dumb as a brick in a sock and just as useful.

Update 3.5: Turo mentioned earlier that there was a second Miraidon and Arven mentioned after that that his father came home with it one day and asked Arven to take care of it and keep it secret. But then it went crazy one day and attacked a bunch of Pokémon so Turo took it back to the zero lab and Arven blamed it for not seeing his dad in forever. I’m wondering if the Miraidon we have is actually the second Miraidon and not the one Arven took care of that went nuts.

Update 4: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Bro starts with the ominous “Hello, children” (always comforting)

and then starts breaking up. I know there’s probably just some interference given how destroyed this room is but it’s still creepy… wait…

…is he a robot… NEW THEORY: sexy Turo was replaced by a robot! (Or the communication/monitoring system is just that fucked.)

Update 5: …

…Fuck.

Update 6: *nervous laughter* OH HELL NO!

“They just don’t understand my brilliance,” probably followed by regret at some point and then his letters to Arven stopped because he might’ve decided that his family was more important and then he was kidnapped and replaced by his double. That’s my current theory. (Also our Miraidon might’ve been the original one after all. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I can be wrong sometimes.)

Update 7: Oh, Nemona, you naïve, sheltered, little princess. No wonder you’re always looking for a fight. Also, SPEAK ARVEN!!! YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON!!! TELL US!!!

Update 8: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I WAS RIGHT!!! TURO IS AN EVIL ROBOT!!! THIS IS CREEPY AS SHIT! Now the question is: where’s the real Turo…?

Update 9: HE’S DEAD?! Not sure I believe AI Turo but that does explain why the letters to Arven stopped. Dammit, don’t you dare make me cry, game.

Update 10: …Miraidon… killed… that explains why it won’t enter its battle form…

Update 11: “[…] his physical body sustained grievous injuries and made it unable to sustain life. This fact may be difficult for his son, Arven, to accept.” NO SHIT!! THAT KID COULDN’T EVEN HANDLE THE FACT THAT HIS DOG ALMOST DIED!! Although, it might be slightly easier to accept since Turo wasn’t really in his life. Speaking from experience, though, that’s a small and bitter comfort.

Update 12: Wait so Turo WAS the villain (kinda). He orchestrated a situation that would ultimately create (read: destroy) the “perfect world” even in his absence. His AI double literally warns you, “Oh, before I forget, if you try to stop the time machine, I’ll probably attack you.” So the AI’s programing is advanced enough that it likely calculated that the professor would’ve wanted to stop this situation if he understood the full gravity of it, but it can’t calculate the “don’t get into a fight with the person you asked to save the world” action. I guess it makes sense if he died and therefore can’t update the software with new insight but the fucker created adaptive AI programming that made a call on it’s own to stop the time machine but he still couldn’t make it think entirely for itself? Bullshit! Lazy bastard really didn’t bother going all the way with it? Bro really just stopped at, “good enough, it does what I need it to do.” REALLY?! This is why you shouldn’t be lazy with your AI programming, kids. You’ll destroy the world.

Update 13: “Please. Defeat me.” WHY IS IT SO SAD?! IT’S A FIGHT!! NOOOO!!! 🥺

Update 14: Ghosts and ghost Pokémon exist… Either the AI’s programming really is advanced enough to create and pass on a final goodbye… or it’s the real professor Turo… We’ll probably never really know.

Update 15: When good foresight screws you over. I think the real Turo would’ve wanted this to stop at this point too. HOW COULD THIS HAVE POSSIBLY GOTTEN SADDER?!!

Update 16: Shit.

Update 17: So the AI CAN think for itself. Or, rather, it seems to be more than an AI… I’m not crying. YOU’RE crying.

Final update: @morezizan, you bastard. Sometimes I hate it when you’re right.

[violetpunk666]

Liveblogging Sausage's latest episode:

Glad sausage understands that Scott didn't mean to hurt gem and it was an accident

Sausage found fWhip’s embassy~

Yay, cousin Pearl!

Oop- sausage’s loosing track of realities and different versions of himself are already merging? Oh, ok *exhale* not yet. Close call though

“It’s great! So whenever I wanna take out my anger and aggression, I go to this other reality, I destroy stuff, and then I come back. I’m learning to harness it Pearl, it’s good stuff”

Sausage uhhhh- That’s uhm- that’s kinda concerning-

Pfft- Sausage, I don’t think slapping your cousin with an amulet is gonna do anything, no matter how magical said amulet is asdfghjkl

LMAO cousin tackle!

And Pearl immediately dropping everything to help sausage when he screamed “help me” after she scared him 🥺❤️

Pearl knows her cousin~ referencing when she wouldn’t put the cake box down because she knew sausage was gonna pull the same trick she just did to him

And sausage knows his~

Gladiator Pearl 🙏🥰

“Totally not poison or anything” 👀 …Nah! asdfghjkl I don’t think Pearl would purposefully poison sausage lol

Ok, I know that technically it was a berry bush that pricked sausage, but I’m gonna say that the Bloodsheep headbutted him instead, cause I just like that idea asdfghjkl

Ohh gosh that creeper- *moments before disaster* Oh thank god, the baby raptor is ok-

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

THE WHISPERING-

THE FUCKING WHISPERING AND THEN THE SCREEN TURNED TO BLACK-

I’m trying to figure out what they’re saying but I’m not the best person to do this cause my hearing is already kinda wonk asdfghjkl

I think I can make out a “help me”? Which I mean that makes sense, seeing as Xornoth is trapped in a crystal that is then locked in an Ender Chest. Though they could very well not even be speaking English