#AAAAA!!!!!!!
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yeah okay I think I might be bigender.. I've been so deeply confused because I thought it would feel different, more clear, like the gender differences between myself and josie when we switch (she's part of my subsystem) but it's? both. I'm both but not necessarily 50/50. sometimes, but not always. it explains why I cannot let go of the deep desire to be butch wlw and the grief at not being "woman enough" to be wlw, but also feeling the exact same way about being mlm. I want to be both, I am both but I don't feel like I can call myself both. and it's just been a 4 year long gender crisis that I haven't been able to climb out of... but bigender feels like someone dropped a ladder down for me
#aaaaa!!!!!!!#honestly I still don't know 100% and don't feel like I'm Allowed to be bigender but idk if that matters
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#hhhhh I'll probably delete this later but if i don't physically put these thoughts somewhere I'll maybe explode.#but fuck man. shit sucks fr! I highkey think I can't go to work tomorrow but yknow how it goes!!!!#I'm caught somewhere between finally being taken seriously about my health issues#and having the most wretched mental health crisis#like on one hand fantastic! I'm being taken seriously now its gotten to the point where I cant fucking walk normally#but on the other hand oh my god holy shit. i had to get this bad???? and I'm worried. i know theres shit so much bigger than me rn going on#but I'm worried about my health. especially when I've been trying to deal with it for the better part of like.... 5 years#since i was 19!!!!#I'm 24 and worrying about whether or not I'll actually walk about with 0 pain ever again isn't that fucked.#so that's bittersweet. ive got physio tomorrow. blood tests next week#an ultrasound coming up#its ultimately a good thing im being taken seriously. if not a terrifying acceptance that everything ive been feeling has been real and#well. bad.#and like with this right is the crash of my mental health. just a fuckin nosedive man.#i have a relatively stressful job i felt out of my depth about and thus guilty for but now its a role that I've approached in constant pain#for the last few months.#i can't deal with that actually! lots of stress! lots of pain! lots of mental pain over my physical condition! my job grinding my soul!#aaaaa!!!!!!!#like i dont WANT to be unemployed either#I'd much rather be uhhhh employed! and able to save money towards actually getting Help™#but I've got to admit that i hurt too much. and its consuming my whole fucking brain.#but I'll go on#ive got my first trip out the country solo next week!! im heading to san Fransisco!!! im excited.#but I'm worried for the inevitable moment where my pains catch up with me#ill surpress it while I'm out there. try and remind myself to have a good time. return to the uk and feel a weeks worth of pain#and even THAT sucks to consider#but i should stop#rambles
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leans over your shoulder. hey. one week until my show
#fob#IM SO EXCITED#the first concert I got to PICK the artist#godddd#im so fuckijg excited#toby speaks#aaaaa!!!!!!!#i made a ton of loom bracelets for it#and added to my pin jacket#and and and#manifest 27 for me. please. god
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WE NEED TO KILL HIM
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Keep banging out tunes little buddy!!
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Jedediah and Octavius wish yall a happy pride!!
#pride#pride month#jedtavius#natm fandom#natm#night at the museum#natm jedediah#natm octavius#natm jedtavius#natm fanart#jedediah x octavius#jedediah natm#lgbtq#gay#art#artists on tumblr#my art#bisexual#bi pride#fanart#owen wilson#steve coogan#I love them so much aaaaa#<33#jedediah and octavius
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Quick doodle
I had to
#sunsest-art#papyrus#undertale#flowey#undertale newsletter#DO NOT FLIP THIS DRAWING#i maybeee forgot to flip the canvas😁😁😁😁#FRIENDSSS#I AAAAA#FRIENDS THEY'RE FRIENDS AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER ABOUT IT
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if you can’t own the anime figure, why not draw it (lol!)
#my art#fanart#vocaloid#luka#megurine luka#luka fanart#lineless#lineless art#emily loves cookies#clip studio paint#reference: max factory luka 1/7 scale#ALSO IK THE HAND IS BACKWARDS IM A COWARD AND IT'S TOO LATE TO FIX AAAAA
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this is how your email found me
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WE'RE GETTING THAT SEASON BABYYYY
#HHEHHEGHJHDKERHKLS#I'M SO HAPPY#THIS IS A MAJOR INDIE ANIMATION WIN!!#tadc#the amazing digital circus#AAAAA#sock talk
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#i love you arthur morgan aaaaa#this game destroyed my life ^_^#i want to make little prints of this ...#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#my art
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If I draw them maybe the rng gods might bless me ;A;
#Jamil Viper#Leona Kingscholar#twst#Twisted Wonderland#I wanna pull for them so bad but I have limited funds and Malleus's birthday is coming up aaaaa
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𝖻𝖺𝖻𝗒 𝗅𝖺𝗆𝖻𝗌 𝖻𝗒 𝖽𝗂𝗌𝖼𝗈 𝗍𝖺𝗓 𝟩𝟣
#look how cute they aaaare#aaaaa#little babiiies#cottagecore#nature#naturecore#sheep#lambs#animals#farmcore#cute#photography
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i see a convo w a character ai and i keep scrolling
#idc how accurate they are to a character i just cant stand them aaaaa#i want to enjoy things other human beings think of for them to say and do and like and be#chat bots of characters just feel so hollow and obliging
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