#A simple advisor had the power to order a genocide

[the-real-sasuke-uchiha]

I was so wrong to propose a tyranny where I'd be sole judge and all lives would be under my control. Ok. Now explain to me in simple words what is the difference between that and an actual Kage.

[shsldepressedlesbian]

no one asked but here danganronpa fantasy au that was made in my early days of the fandom and is thus outdated and was made with mostly only the drv3 cast in mind. i updated it a little for the public tho haa

Plot: ok so basically kaede is a princess and she befriends this shapeshifter named shuichi and sorta assigns him as her advisor and their best friends. then two weeks before her crowning she gets kidnapped and shuichi goes off to look for her in time for her to be queen. and he meets the rest of the cast and finds her and everyone is happy

Kaede: Princess. Is very skilled in many different musical types, but piano is her main. Kidnapped from her palace. Shuichi's best friend.

Shuichi: Shapeshifter(he tries to keep this a secret). Orphaned as a child and stumbled into the castle's gardens, where he met Kaede. Searching for her after her disappearance so she can become queen in time.

Kaito: A wannabe adventurer who offers to accompany Shuichi on the road to find Kaede. Also wishes to one day be able to take his adventuring to the sky. Use to be the assistant of an astronomer, before leaving to make his own fortune. Says he's heard rumors about someone who has a map to where the gang who kidnapped Kaede resides. Ryoma was one of his former idols.

Kokichi: A thief and a leader of a gang of bandits. After ending up getting caught while trying to steal from their wagon, he offers to join them and help find Kaede(with plans to rob them and steal their wagon and horses, but only ends up growing closer to them and reconsidering stealing from them cause "huh that prize for finding the queen is a lot more than what these losers probably have").

Maki: An assassin for hire who runs into the trio by random. Also it just so happens that her next target is Kokichi. Kaito saves Kokichi's ass and Shuichi offers to outpay the bounty on Kokichi's head-wait did someone seriously offer that much Kokichi what the hell did you do to piss someone off that much-he then offers that if Maki were to travel with the three of them for a short while, then they could stop by the Akamatsu kingdom and she could get her gold. Maki just wants to kill Kokichi and go, but Kaito begins insisting she comes with them("cmon just cause your an assassin doesnt mean you have to be edgy all the time")and this does really annoy Maki, but eh fine she'll come with them for a day or two, but if she doesn't that money she'll go back to her original plan. And thus the four is complete.

Kiyo: A traveling anthropologist who is secretly a vampire. In his wishes to continue traveling after his turning, he wears much clothing to protect him from the sun, which gives him a creepy appearance. He runs into the four after someone ends up "accidentally" letting the horses go, and offers to give them a ride to meet Rantaro he can guide him to the town. Then mysteriously disappears after dropping a few facts about certain cultures. Even then he appears randomly ever so often. He also has an interest in seances and always observes specialists in the subjects when the chance arrives. His horse, who he's nicknamed "Shiso", is very precious to him, as it is the child of his now deceased older sister's former horse. He also occasionally travels with Rantaro.

Rantaro: A true adventurer who has been through so many dangerous encounters he has become very chill when facing danger. He knows a lot of things about the wild and creature's preferences, though he isn't a walking fact machine. Meets the four and agrees to guide them after hearing they've met Kiyo. Is also looking for his sisters, who have disappeared whilst traveling with him.

Angie: A siren who can change into human when on land. Is very dedicated to the siren sea god. She attempts to use her voice to lure the trio into her cult(of course, doing so would require them to get into the water and drown), but is interrupted by Tenko who scares her off.

Himiko: A young witch who also deems herself a mage. She is severely underestimated due to her lazy nature and size. She gets gravely annoyed when people accuse her of being a fake, and wishes for everyone to see herself as a mage. She calls Tenko her familiar who she turned into a human(the ways of how are not mentioned). When the three arrive, she uses her cauldron to help them locate where the person-who-has-the-map is(she couldn't make out what they looked like or who they were, but hey, she got the town at least).

Tenko: A girl who had once been training to be a knight put was put under a warlock's curse that turned her into a frog, unless she had a true love's kiss. Frog Tenko fell in love almost immediately when she first saw Himiko, and began following her, hoping to one day be able to see if she could break the curse. Himiko first thought of the frog as annoying, but then it began helping her out, and she grew weirdly attached to it, then decided to craft a familiarbond with her, which required at least a kiss on the head. Surprise surprise, Himiko broke Tenko's curse. And Tenko also kept the perks of being a familiar. Tenko has a very obvious crush on Himiko that she denies to have, but is very loyal to her and has promised to protect her and stay by her side until their last days. Due to being a familiar, she has limited magic that can become more powerful the more closer she is to Himiko- and Himiko can also channel magic through her. Tenko, due to a warlock having been the one who put the curse on her and her old teacher feeding her biased views, has a dislike for males, and only rescued the trio because she hated seeing Angie succeeding, and only brought them to Himiko after Shuichi offered to pay a good amount of gold to see her.

Ryoma: A former adventurer, who is now an outlaw since he joined the gang who stole Kaede. However, he also betrayed this gang a long while ago, and so now he is both hunted down by the gang and guards of most kingdoms. He resides hidden away, though by now he has no desire to continue living. He is also the one to have the map to the gang's hideaway, and is the one to give it to Kaito.

Kirumi: The secret former queen of the Tojo kingdom, who ran away after being forced into a loveless marriage. She now works as one of Kaede's best maids, and offers advice. She also tries to track down where Kaede could be held unbeknownst to Shuichi, and is the one to save the four.

Kiibo: A walking build of gears with a touch of magic, he was formerly Miu's first attempt at a walking person. Then, the very next day, almost by magic, he acquired a personality of his own, the ability to speak, and was basically a human- well, sure, he was still made of wood, iron, and gears, but that doesn't change anything, right? He resides in a village with his inventor, who is Miu, as mentioned before. He wishes to one day be able to leave the village and go on his own journey, but for now, he lives peacefully, trying to be seen as just the same as any other normal human.

Miu: An inventor and an idol in her village. She is the reason her village may be the most technologically advanced in the kingdom. She makes plenty of money off of her inventions. Of course, if people were to actually meet her, they would find that she really doesn't act like the inventor people think she is. She lives in her 'lab' in the center of her village, with her companion Kiibo. Has a deep running rivalry with Kokichi, and was actually the one who paid Maki to track him down and kill him.

Gonta: Half human, half beast, all around gentleman. He was abandoned in a forest and was raised by animals and monsters. He has since moved into a village that was much more welcome to him. He wishes to one day become a knight, in order to prove his gentlemenness.

Tsumugi: A very plain and simple tailor whose clothes are much more appealing to look at then herself. Or, at least, that is what people think she is. In reality, she is the leader of the gang who kidnapped Kaede, and wishes for nothing but wealth. She uses her clothing shop as a cover and extra way to make gold, and at the end she kidnaps the four, only to be foiled.

Other Characters:

Makoto: A friendly baker who happens to get sucked into adventures from time to time. Has a curse/gift of both bad luck and good luck. Also married to Kyoko(and maybe Prince Togami).

Kyoko: A very well respected investigator who is rumored to be able to take any case. An enemy of thieving gangs. Married to Makoto(and maybe Prince Togami).

Byakuya: A snobby prince who is due to take his kingdom's throne. However, he refuses to get married until he is crowned(there is a rumor that he is engaged in a poly relationship with the investigator Kyoko and her husband. neither of them have confirmed nor denied this).

Toko/Genocider Syo: A half demon writer who's demon side is a serial killer by the name of Genocider Syo. Use to serve Byakuya and had an intense infatuation for him, before meeting Komaru and going on an adventure with her(more explained in Komaru's section), and eventually falling in love with her, eventually quitting her old job to become a writer.

Aoi: A friendly mermaid with an intense craving for human treats. Is dating Sakura.

Sakura: The head knight of a certain kingdom. Very just. Is dating Aoi.

Celeste: A vampire who gambles for money and blood. Has her own mansion of vampire butlers.

Kiyotaka: A traveling ranger whose duty is to right all the wrongs of this world. May or may not possess some sort of supernatural powers. Also may or may not be in a romantic relationship with Mondo.

Mondo: A feared bandit(who is also a werewolf)who is the leader of his own gang, with black horses being their symbol(and also their form of transportation). Use to challenge Kiyotaka often and considered him a rival, but now their quite close "bros"(who may or may not have romantic feelings for each other).

Chihiro: A shy potionbrewer. They sell things such as the healing potions they make, though their quick to give for free to people who need it. However, isn't gullible. Surprisingly on good terms with Mondo and Kiyotaka, being that they once rescued Mondo and nursed him back to health.

Hagakure: A(very limited)psychic who has probably sold his soul to a demon for money. Is in way too much debt with too many bandit gangs. His friends wonder how he's still alive. Either way, he travels around telling fortunes to make money.

Leon: An archer who wishes to be anything but an archer. He has a wish of becoming a bard, as far as that wish may be. Has been rescued from siren attacks too many times to count.

Sayaka: A siren who doesn't have the same mentality as the other sirens, and doesn't actually believe in or pray to the sea god. However, she still has a mavolvent side, and enjoys luring men to their doom. But it is possible to befriend her. She and Makoto have known each other since childhood and are very close friends.

Hifumi: A traveling scribe with an interest in drawings of fictional woman. Has been rumored to be an assistant of Celeste.

Junko: The head queen of the chaotic level demons. Wishes for nothing but to break despair to everyone. Grew up with Mukuro as sisters, but isn't actually related to her by blood.

Mukuro: A shapeshifter who takes many forms. Has been a knight in many armies and is very skilled with weapons. She and Junko were both abandoned orphans who ended growing up with each other as sisters. Is also Junko's 'eyes upstairs'. Has managed to grow attached to Makoto after observing him, and often ends up rescuing him without his knowledge.

Hajime: A demon hunter who is half demon himself(his half demon side being nicknamed Izuru Kamukura, and being a skillful level of demon). Only kills demons who he considers actual threats. Surprisingly drinking barmates with Fuyuhiko and Kazuchi. Is currently reluctantly allowing Nagito to stay with him(may or may not actually have romantic feelings for him). Use to be in love with Chiaki, until she peacefully rejected him.

Nagito: A demon who many believe to be in the chaotic level, but is actually just a lowly luck demon(a very severe luck demon to be exact). Brings despair wherever he goes, though he yearns for nothing but the hope to bring him to the end. Grew very quickly attached to Hajime after observing him for a few days after he spared him, and believes that he will be the hope that will eventually kill him- but as annoying as he may be, Hajime doesn't wish to kill him off. Very self-degrading.

Chiaki: A very sleepy and peaceful witch, who people come to for advice. She enjoys controlling stick figures in video game styles. Close childhood friend of Hajime.

Kazuchi: An inventor who dreams of one day being accepted as the private inventor to Princess Sonia, his everlasting crush. His inventions are amazing, but underlooked. He sold his soul to a demon once in order to make his brown hair pink and to have his sight back so he didn't have to wear glasses. Lucky for him, Hajime then slayed that demon, and now he considers the both of them soulfriends(hajime has his regrets). He spends more time with Gundham, who he battles for Sonia's affections, rather then trying to chill with Sonia herself(though to be fair she doesnt let him get that close).

Gundham: A demon who can bend the will of animals to his own use, aided by his destructive Four Dark Devas of Destruction. His name is feared across the land, and he wishes for nothing but to instill fear into the hearts of many. Until he met Princess Sonia, who he spends an awful lot of time with and seems to have a soft spot for her. He can be found making his plans to destroy villages, hanging out with Sonia, or arguing with Kazuchi.

Sonia: A princess who is invested in learning about demons and summonings. Often travels around in order to observe such things, and a ritual was actually where she met Gundham, who she became close friends with.

Fuyuhiko: The leader of one of the most powerful gangs in the continent. Lost his eye in a barfight. Though he's usually a mean and rough guy, he has a soft spot for his 'allies'(mainly Kazuchi and Hajime)and his personal bodyguard, Peko. He thinks of Peko as more than a tool, and wants her to see that.

Peko: Once upon a time, a group of humans with super senses made an arrangement with the gang that Fuyuhiko now runs. The gang would help them out and leave them alone while supplying them with some money every month, and they would give to them one of their own young to each of the current gang leader's children. Peko was given to Fuyuhiko when she was just a baby. The two grew up alongside each other, but never as equals. She was trained to be nothing but a weapon. A protector. Because of this, she has grown awfully monotone. But, she has a soft spot for fluffy animals, though they do not have a soft spot for her.

Mikan: A fallen angel who fell when she met Junko, the so called leader of the powerful side of demons, and became infatuated by her. Now serves alongside Junko, in a not very healthy relationship. Hopefully she'll break free one day...

Ibuki: A half beast who can transform from a colorful gem dragon to a more humanlike form. She's very rambunctious and causes disaster without meaning to. Loud and vocal.

Twogami: A double agent shapeshifter who goes by many identities, so many in fact that they don't even actually know who they themselves are. However, they have a strong sense of leadership and is a surprisingly nice guy. Actually takes Byakuya's role for amount of times so the original Byakuya can sneak out and meet with Makoto and Kyoko.

Mahiru: An explorer who likes to take pictures of every place she sees. Also is known to help people out whenever she passes through a village. Met Hiyoko when the short girl defended her from a bar creep. Has a friend from home that she occasionally travels with by the name of Sato.

Hiyoko: A dancer who travels a lot, going from bar to bar. She doesn't really like it, considering how many 'creeps' are there, but it makes money for her and her dad, who she cares about a lot. Defended Mahiru from a creep and grew attached to her, and insists that she come visit her whenever she happens through a town that Hiyoko is performing in. May have some feelings for her, but whether their one-sided or not is still to be seen.

Akane: A harpy who is almost always hungry, and can usually be found hunting for meat. A little dimwitted and has a sense of recklessness. Close allies with Nekomaru.

Nekomaru: A half beast who can turn into a stone beast. Is very good at pumping people up, and is also very loud. Close allies with Akane.

Teruteru: A chef who runs a popular restaurant with his mother. A little perverted and almost definitely has summoned a Succubus for a one night stand before.

[justsomeantifas]

Here’s your dose of “What the Fuck Is Going On” news (March 14th 2017 - March 15th 2017 edition)

Three federal judges ruled that Texas lawmakers deliberately drew up district lines to weaken the influence of Latino voters. “When done to minimize Hispanic electoral opportunity, it bears the mark of intentional discrimination,” said U.S. District Judge Xavier Rodriguez. (source)

A prosecutor's office in Washington withdrew a search warrant to search Dakota Access Pipeline protester's social media accounts. The warrant specifically wanted to gain access to private Facebook accounts and view their private messages. The American Civil Liberties Union represented the case stating that the warrant was "an overbroad and unconstitutional request for private data." (source)

Trump signed an executive order called the "Comprehensive Plan for Reorganizing the Executive Branch," which critics are saying this is laying down the groundwork to dismantle the executive branch. The order's goal state it's going to improve the "efficiency, effectiveness, and accountability" of federal agencies through merging agencies, getting rid of components of an agency, or eliminating them altogether. (source)

The State Department has been instructed to seek cuts to U.S. funding for United Nations programs up to 50 percent. Some programs on the chopping block include operations that provide vaccines, monitor rogue nuclear weapons programs, promote peace talks, etc. They are also considering cuts to humanitarian aid programs by 36 percent. (source)

Trump laid a wreath on the grave of the genocidal, racist POS, Andrew Jackson in honor of his 250th birthday. Trump is a big fan of Jackson, so much so that he hung a portrait of him in the Oval Office upon his arrival. He's the first president to visit the site since Reagan. (source)

Former Speaker Newt Gingrich was outraged at the Congressional Budget Office's findings in regards to the American Health Care Act (aka Trumpcare/GOPcare). "They should abolish the Congressional Budget Office. It is corrupt. It is dishonest," he said. Gingrich also said he doesn't "trust a single word they have published, and I don't believe them." (CBO report breakdown here) (source)

The National Rifle Association (NRA) is going to launch a $1 million dollar ad campaign in support of Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch. Gorsuch's confirmation hearings will start on March 20th and the ads will play from now until two days after his hearings start. (source)

Trump has given the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) the power to launch drone strikes against suspected militants. Note that the U.S. government recently admitted in July 2016 that they were responsible for over 100 civilian deaths in countries where America is not at war. Before the CIA could use drones to find suspected terrorists, but the military had to carry out the strikes. (source)

Seventeen republicans signed a resolution today where they vowed to seek "economically viable" ways to fight against global warming. This goes against Trump's views on climate change, which he thinks is a hoax. (source)

The company owned by the family of Jared Kushner, Trump's son-in-law and senior advisor, is set to receive more than $400 million from a Chinese company investing in one of the Kushner's office towers in Manhattan. Jared Kushner sold his stakes so there would be no conflicts of interest, however some ethics experts argue otherwise and say the company has too close of ties to the White House. (source)

Before taking office, Trump stated that he would not take a salary as president however it appears he will be taking the money but donating it to charity. According to press secretary Sean Spicer, he's going to let the White House press corps decide where the money should go. (source)

Republican lawmakers are attempting to pass legislation that would eliminate the restrictions on gun silencers, also called suppressors. Suppressors have been one of the most tightly regulated firearm products since 1934, however these lawmakers are claiming it's about safety. Rep. Jeff Duncan said "This legislation is about safety - plain and simple. I’m very active in sport shooting and hunting, and I can’t tell you how better off the shooting sports enthusiasts would be if we had easier access to suppressors to help protect our hearing.” (source)

Tomorrow (3/16), Trump’s new travel ban was supposed to go into effect however a U.S. judge has put a freeze on the order. (source)

Attorney General Jeff Sessions said in a statement that he believes medical marijuana is "only slightly less awful than heroin," and that the medicinal use of marijuana has been hyped up too much. He also stated that he was against the suggestion that medical marijuana and legalization helps curb the heroin crisis, despite the fact that research has shown it helps reduce the number of overdose-related deaths. (source)

Two pages of Trump's taxes from 2005 were released to the press after being obtained by a journalist. Trump called out David Cay Johnston, a Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative reporter, on Twitter saying that the reporter was a "nobody" and this was "fake news" despite the fact that the White House officially confirmed the story. Johnston stated that he believes it's possible that Trump himself was responsible for mailing the documents. (source) (source)

The senate voted to roll back on a regulation that limits who can be drug tested while applying for unemployment benefits. Previously states could only test individuals who were fired for drug use or in a job that required workers get regularly drug tested, now states will be able to test whoever they want. (source)

The Federal Reserve raised interest rates today, which came as no surprise given that the Fed office signaled it in advance. The Fed announced that at least two more rate hikes are likely to happen this year. (source)

After Rep. Steve King made his racist, white nationalist comments over twitter, he went on a radio show to talk about it. In the interview he expressed even more racist bullshit and predicted that white in American will not become the minority because the "blacks and hispanics" will be fighting each other in a race war before that happens. (source)

Public polling shows that only 24% of voters support the American Health Care Act (Trumpcare/GOPcare). While the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) is seeing some of it's best numbers with 47% in support of it. (source)

And now your daily reminder that: Flint, Michigan still doesn’t have clean water. Standing Rock still needs your support. The American infrastructure report card still averages poorly with the rating of a “D+”

Finally, if you would like to support “What the Fuck Is Going On” news and it’s almost-daily posts you can visit my Patreon by clicking here.

[sketchy-vore]

Undertale AUs I’ll probably never use!

So yeah, I’m great at getting a bunch of ideas but never really doing much with it. Since I don’t really know how to change these into full-fledged stories, but some of you might like to fantasize about these, here are a few of the better (and more presentable) ideas.

1. Deserttale (Gaster Blaster Brothers)

This AU takes place in a post-apocalyptic desert-like world where civilizations fight over water.

In a big city that has taken claim over the largest sources of fresh water, a scientist is ordered to create a weapon to conquer more water-settlements so the city can control them instead. The scientist does what is asked, but as his creations, called Gaster Blasters, grow and start to show self-awareness he refuses to let them be used for military gain. When he tries to go into hiding he is promptly shot for ‘treason’.

When the government tries to take control of the two creations however, they quickly bump into a huge problem: The scientist could not speak, and he wrote and signed in his own made-up language. So they can’t use his notes to create more weapons (most of the notes were burned beforehand anyways), and the two existing creatures were trained in and would only answer to the doctor’s sign language. They do end up finding a use for the two brother creations though, as a method of execution.

The two creatures, especially the younger one, do have a strong instinct to kill ‘corrupted’ people (murderers, rapists, high degree abusers, etc.), and they find out the older of the two will do anything to keep his brother from harm. They turn it into some kind of game show (a la Hunger Games) where they send criminals (both major and minor, they pull straws to pick them) into a jungle enclosure where they have to run and try to survive, with the two creations on their heels, until all of them are dead. Usually, it takes just a day, once a month, with Papyrus impulsively (and not remembering afterward) going after the heavier criminals while Sans goes after the more ‘innocent’ people to spare his brother from doing so.

Frisk is a mute orphan living in the streets. They know the universal sign language that is used by the people, but ever since birth, they also know another kind of signing. It just came to them ever since birth, no one else understands it, and they sometimes mistakenly start to sign in it, especially when they’re nervous.

One day Frisk get’s caught for trying to steal some food and their number is drawn to be executed. They and about 9 other criminals are released into the arena, where they immediately scatter to get out of there before the two monsters are released. Frisk hides and it actually takes Sans quite a while to find them. When he does there is a short chase before he corners them. In panic, Frisk starts to plead for their life in their own sign language and Sans actually stops, confused. To keep up the show he pretends to eat Frisk whole, while actually keeping them safe in his jaws as he smuggles them into their stables.

Once Sans is sure no one will see the kid, he spits them out and Papyrus and he instantly start to feel a kinship with the child. In turn, Frisk’s brain starts to fall in tune with the two brothers. Their movements, their sounds they make, even the way the brothers glance at something/someone, it all makes sense to them. Eventually Frisk learns the codes that unlock the stable doors and shock-collars of their friends and they manage to escape into the desert outside the city.

After running for hours (and Frisk suffering under the burning sun) they decide to stop near a tiny settlement. It is built in the Ruins of a village that died out after it’s well dried, but the new inhabitants found a way to dig the old well deeper and be more thrifty with the new water source.

The trio decides for Sans and Papyrus to stay hidden in the dunes while Frisk goes to see if they can get their hands on food and water. Frisk get caught (again) trying to steal some apples, but this time by an elderly lady that gently scolds them instead. When Frisk admits that they don’t have a home or family to return to the lady introduces herself as Toriel and invites Frisk to stay with her. Frisk refuses and tells Toriel that they have to return to their ‘brothers’. After being offered and once again refusing for them and their ‘brothers’ to stay with her, she buys a bag with apples and a waterskin for all of them. She also gives Frisk 3 large pieces of fabric they can build a shelter from against the burning sun and freezing night: A long strip of red cloth, a blue, aras style rug with fluffy white tassels at the ends, and a blue and purple striped shawl.

They put the red fabric around Papyrus’ neck (so they don’t lose each other in a sandstorm), the rug around Sans’ rib cage (to protect and hide his fragile soul) and they themself wrap the shawl around their head (against the sun).

Before they can leave though, another tribe appears with the intent to take over the tiny oasis. Within the community of the Ruins there are only a few person that is both trained and able enough to fight off the intruders, lead by captain Undyne.

Undyne’s forces are too small and she desperately fights off the nomads to try and save her village, and then it turns into a struggle so her wounded soldiers can be brought back to safety. Witnessing the clash between the honest desire to protect her loved ones and simple greed, Papyrus’ instincts kick in and he rushes into battle. Sans and Frisk don’t have much choice to go after him.

The opposing forces rapidly grow frightened of these two strange, powerful creatures and their ‘rider’, and they quickly decide to retreat. They take Undyne back to the village, where they are met by it’s equally terrified inhabitants. Toriel, however, recognises the articles of clothing the trio is wearing. She introduces herself as the leader of the settlement and tells Frisk that, even though she now realizes why they refused her offer before, all three of them are more than welcome to stay with her. They accept this time.

Then Undyne and Papyrus quickly grow to be friends and battle-buddies, though she’s kinda pleasantly surprised that this ferocious war machine she saw before, is actually a giant, friendly skeleton puppy. Alphys, who is now the village’s scientist, used to work for Gaster, she was lucky to escape since Gaster thold her to get out of the city before he could start packing. Thus she actually knows the brothers inside and out, and helps to train them and bring out their full potential.

Together they’ll be going against the misguided Asgore (unstable after the death of his children during an accident with the escape of a few criminals) and his wicked and power hungry advisor, Flowey.

2. Sans’ soul (my only AU in which Chara is the actual bad guy)

I once talked about this one before. But recap for those that didn’t read that post:

Sans loses the fight in the genocide route. His body turns to dust, but his soul desperately refuses to die, to let this world be destroyed. The soul manages to escape Ebott when the barrier is scattered by Chara’s immense determination and frustration over having failed ‘the game’, and latches itself to the first friendly person it can find, allowing itself to be absorbed. Now this person has to learn to get along with a very bitter skeleton, share their body without looking weird and ridiculous, use monster magic in preparation for a battle with a possessed child, and stomaching more ketchup than human taste pallets can handle.

3. Mountain King (with G/t and some vore) (I even made a little song for this one!)

The villages of a mountain range are terrorized by a skeletal giant. The legends go that a god had betrayed his kin and thus was cast from heaven. Taken by bitterness and vengeance the god lost his heart and everything else soft and vulnerable on his body, leaving a cold, marble white skeleton to roam the earth for eternity. He is often called the King of the Mountains, because he is always seen wearing a royal blue cloak with a white-furred collar, and because he decides who lives or (more likely) dies if they dare to climb the mountains. If he is in a mild mood however, some have been known to survive if they win a game against him.

Frisk and Chara are two children living in an orphanage and care for each other like siblings (Chara is the younger of the two). Both have been brought there because children get a prophecy from the moment they are born, and those for Frisk and Chara were less than favorable.

Frisk: Your fate will be chosen by the mountain’s maw.

Chara: The person you love most will take the blade meant for you.

Everyone always looks at Frisk with pity since they are more than sure they’ll die in the mountains, or even by the King himself. Chara, on the contrary, is constantly shunned and people are always trying to drive them away out of fear that they might grow to care about them, thus making them the victims of the child’s prophecy. Chara is pretty bitter towards most humans because of this.

They are however always welcome at lady Toriel’s house. She is considered too old to adopt and properly care for any children, but Frisk and Chara always go there to keep her company and help around the house. Chara often wondered if Toriel wasn’t worried about their prophecy, to which she laughed and said that with whatever little time she had left in this world, she’d gladly give it to save them.

One day Toriel is out of firewood and Chara quickly volunteers to get more near the foot of the mountain. Frisk quickly offers to do it in their stead, it’s misty outside and Chara might be a little more helpful cooking then hauling around twigs and logs.

Because of the fog though, Frisk starts to wonder higher and higher up the mountain, only to realize how high up they are when they bump into a huge, skeletal leg.

Sans isn’t in the best mood because of the cold, wet weather, but he does end up challenging Frisk to a riddle game, because they’re just a lost kid. Each taking turns they both have to ask the other a hundred riddles, the one who answers most wins the game.

Frisk notices after about 60 riddles that they are losing, they aren’t that good at riddles and Sans has had way more experience with them. So in the hope to throw Sans off guard, they tell him a joke riddle. Sans is completely taken aback, his cold, sly composure cracks, and before Frisk’s very eyes, the feared King of the Mountains, starts to giggle like a child.

With a smile that now looks genuine instead of mocking, Sans informs them that for every one of those that can make him laugh, he’ll take away two of their losses. With some new hope Frisk keeps on playing the game, but they quickly lose that hope when Sans suddenly starts to ask way more complicated riddles, as if he really want’s them to lose.

Eventually Frisk just gives up, realizing they can’t win this anymore. Sans frowns at this and hisses that in that case, he’ll take his prize. He dangles them over his mouth, causing Frisk to freak out, and once he drops them in they faint out of fear.

When they wake up though, they’re inside a huge room, locked in a cage. Sans notices them waking up and tells them that he liked their jokes, so now they’ll be staying here until they stop amusing him.

The first days are extremely stressful, with Sans threatening Frisk’s life if they’re stubborn and unwilling to tell jokes. But after Frisk literally blocks up and faints because of the stress and Sans fails to recognize it for a while, Sans becomes a little more patient (as long as he can laugh at jokes instead if that guilt gnawing at the back of his mind over a tiny limp body in his hands).

As it starts to get harder to think of new jokes, Frisk also starts to tell stories. First funny things that happened to them, Chara and Toriel, then stories and even songs known by their village, and eventually Sans starts to show interest in their personal life, not just the things that make him laugh. He even shares some small talk when it relates to their stories.

Sans starts to grow fond of Frisk, putting their cage on the table instead of dangling high above the floor, looking for stuff to make the cage more comfortable, having meal times with them, allowing them to sit on him in the easy chair when they tell stories, ect. He also starts to get more uncomfortable when Frisk recites stories the village tells about him. He wants to give Frisk more freedom and see them being happy, but after everything that has happened he feels a bit awkward to talk about it.

Frisk, however, has been told their whole life that the Mountain King is heartless and apathetic towards others, so they don’t notice any of this.

Frisk usually tries to think out a routine for the day after before they go to sleep: Fists some funny stuff to get him in a good mood, then some calmer things to keep him content for the rest of the day. A few weeks after Sans first caught Frisk, they have a much harder time thinking about what jokes or stories to tell. They stay up all night trying to think of something until they hear Sans’ voice greeting them in the morning.

Frisk blurts out the first joke that comes to mind, but they mess it up and Sans has heard it already anyways. Sans get’s worried over Frisk’s behavior, and Frisk mistakes his look for displeasure. So they start to ramble out jokes (‘yeah, a sunburnt penguin, you told me that one‘) and pieces of stories (‘wait, does this one relate to that story where you and Chara got chased by chickens?’) until they start to slip into a panic attack.

Sans tries to reach for them, but Frisk scrambles back as they plead for their life and promise they can come up with more jokes, until they start to hyperventilate so badly that they faint.

When they wake up they are confused at their soft, glowing surroundings and the warm, blue liquid they’re sitting in, until they remember that Sans might have just eaten them, deciding they weren’t entertaining anymore. As Frisk starts to panic again, Sans gently confirms where they are, but also promises that ‘it won’t hurt’ and to ‘rest, it’ll be over soon’.

Frisk starts to cry at this, not wanting to die. Who is gonna take care of Chara and Toriel now after all? But Sans’ promise is a tiny bit reassuring (maybe he’s making it painless because he is a bit grateful for entertaining him for a while). Frisk eventually lets their hopelessness and exhaustion pull them back to sleep.

They wake up to a faceful of soft, white fur and blue fabric cozily wrapped around their body. It takes them a few confused seconds to realize that they are very much alive and not inside Sans’ stomach anymore, but wrapped up in his cloak on top of the easy chair instead.

When Sans returns into the room Frisk quickly hides under the cloak but Sans just lifts the edge to slide a plate with berries underneath with them, saying he understands if they’re scared, but he just wants to talk. He won’t be impatient though, they can come out in their own time.

Frisk is skeptical and scared at first, but they notice it’s not quite the anxiety that was ingrained into them over the past few weeks. They can hear Sans moving around but he doesn’t try to interact with them again, except to slide some nuts onto the plate for dinner. It’s only by the next day afternoon that Frisk gathers the courage to face Sans again.

Sans, in turn, is very careful around Frisk, staying low and close to their eye level and talking in a soft voice. He explains that Frisk isn’t just a form of entertainment to him anymore, that he didn’t mean to scare them that badly. He ate them to he could heal them more easily, taking away the trauma connections their brain made. That way they can make a clear decision with the memories of everything that happened between them, but they wouldn’t have any trigger reactions that could suddenly pop up anymore. He promises he will take them home, but he asks for a second chance, since he grew really fond of the child.

It does take a while and a lot of tenderness on Sans’ part, but they do end up properly becoming friends.

Sans starts to open up a little more to Frisk, telling that long ago he and the others were seen as protectors of the villages they roamed near. But one day a group of people started traveling around and killing them for payment, claiming to the villagers that they were evil and the villages were trapped under their tyranny. And after hearing it enough times, people started to believe it. They paid to have him slain as well, but no one had counted on Sans’ unusual strength. With the lies and fears having taken roots now though, many more came up the mountain to try and kill him. So Sans had decided never to trust humans or tolerate them so close to his home again.

In turn, Frisk also opens up about their worries about them and Chara’s prophesy. Sans wonders if that didn’t happen already though. After all Frisk took a blade (a small axe) when Chara wanted to take it (to gather wood) and Frisk had entered his maw as well, two times even.

Eventually, Sans takes Frisk back down the mountain to from where they can find their way back home. They are ready to let the kid go forever, only for Frisk to turn around and tell him they’ll see him again sometimes. Once they return they make up a story, and Frisk quickly becomes the child that got lost in the mountains and won an epic battle of words against the King.

In the meantime, Frisk juggles spending time with both Chara and Toriel, but also visits Sans regularly. The two grow even closer to the point where Sans doesn’t know what to do anymore without Frisk’s company, and Frisk starts to feel safe in Sans’ maw.

One day however raiders start to plunder the village and the sound of panic quickly causes Sans to rush over to make sure Frisk is safe. He scared most of the raiding troops away by showing his face and flings away any he can find in the village. He realizes the prophecies might not have been fulfilled yet when he finds Frisk freshly run through with a blade, the one responsible drawing back and ready for another stab. Sans get’s a hold of him though, but he decides it is a little more important to take care of Frisk than to exact some thorough revenge on the guy. So he gives him the deadliest stare he can muster before flinging the human as far away as he can.

Sans starts to panic at Frisk’s condition, but remembering their prophesy he gently slides them into his mouth and swallows. He hears a tiny whimper as he does so. He crouches down to look for the sound and gently questions if they are Chara. He manages to pry the crying child out from hiding a broken door and quickly reassures them that everything will be okay, and Frisk will be fine too.

Many people, especially the village leaders start to wonder what Sans is doing there, but he refuses to speak. At least until Toriel literally flings her cane into his face and demands to know where here children are. In the end Sans can sooth many people’s nerves when he finally regurgitates an unharmed and healed Frisk.

After that I don’t really know what I want to happen, but the villagers start to see Sans as more of a protector again, Toriel is allowed to take care of Frisk and Chara (as long as Sans provides for the family), and Sans slowly but surely turns into a jungle gym for the children of the village.