#A piece of my mind :: ⌞☔️🍨🩷⌝

[a-child-of-chaos906]

You can just love.

Today I learned a lesson from Sutekh, that I want to tell everyone, who practice paganism in one who or another. A lesson, that everyone should realise amd remember.

You can just love. You don't need any sign, you don't need to be the chosen one, you can just love. You can love every Deity, every spirit, every forse of nature. You can pick and pray, that how it was in ancient times. What is stopping you from this? Which boundaries? There is none, except one, and that boundaries that we create on our own. You can't imagine, how I drove myself to tears with thoughts that everything should be exactly how in my head. How my throat spasmed, when I saw posts about Loki and His family, how I fast looked away, seeing posts about Zeus, Poseidon and Hephaestus, how my lips pursed, when posts about element connection and Heru the Elder and the Younger and Wesir appears. I kept my feelings locked. "Take time, you will get as good as them with time and learning, it's nothing", – I kept telling myself, while my heart suffered.

There are almost no rules (the one main is respect closed practices, don't be an asshole), except the ones, we created ourselves in our heads. Who told me, that there should be exactly N number of Gods I worship? Who told me, that I should wait a sing? Who the fuck said that all of this is true? There are people and opinions, but there are millions of paths, and it's only for YOU to decide, who to listen and which path take. You don't need to have close relationship, you don't need to "work" with them. You can just love. The whisper of Their name is enough, the thought about Them and your smile is enough. Your simple love is enough. After all, there are no boundaries about worshipping Deities, Spirits, Fairies, Elements, Animals, Nature, Cosmos and Universe except the ones, we, for some reason, create for ourselves.

All this time I kept my love under a lock, just because someone somewhere said or wrote something. All this time I suffered because of this boundaries, that I created myself. Why the fuck I should have them? Why I let someone force me to take another path, that I didn't like?

All this evening there was a big thunderstorm. About an hour there were lightnings, and I felt safe in Sutekh's storm. I started to change, because I wanted, and I asked Him to aid me on this path. But I couldn't do it, if I will continue lie to myself. After all this time, I let myself be honest with my feelings about certain Gods and worship. I wanted to love Them, I wanted to be with Them, even if not as close as with my "main" Gods. It became easier. It became happier. It became right.

I don't think I would be close with Poseidon as close as with Hades, but it doesn't matter. I can just love finding Loki in crunchy leaf, that looked uncruncy, I can just love Wesir and His feeling of home, I can just love Heru, whenever I see a feather.

There are no boundaries (except, again, closed practices), except the ones we created ourselves. You can worship whoever you want without a sing, you can worship a lot of Gods and not feeling guilty, you can not communicating with Them and just believing in Them. You can just love, because love is enough. That is what Sutekh told me, no, remind me. And that is what I am telling you. Just love. Love is enough.

[a-child-of-chaos906]

"How to find peace?"

The first three Gods I ask this question give me a smile. One can feel the power in Their very name; They are one of the most ancient, one of the Creators. Sky, Earth, Water, Gods of the World.

"Look around you," – said Kök Tengri. One of His eyes is the Sun, the other is the Moon. – "What do you see?"

"These are our creations," – Umay Ana answers for Her husband. With Her words the forest grows and the fruits ripen. – "From a small bug to ancient steppes."

“You, and people like you too,” – Ak Ana nods. With Her breath, waves move and streams flow from the mountains into the common ocean. – "So our answer is simple."

“Be in unity with our creations, with the world and nature. Do not offend them and help them, and you will find peace,” – said the Gods, in Their words one could feel Love.

"How to find peace?"

The Second Gods, to whom I ask this question, glance at each other. There is tenderness in Their palms, lightness on Their wings. They look so similar that sometimes you can’t tell Them apart. Two brothers, Sleep and Death, Gods of the Rest.

"What are you waiting for when you close your eyes under the blanket?" – Hypnos-Somnus smiles kindly. His voice is like a lullaby. – “What are you waiting for? A new day, that you will wake up. That you will taste food again, that you will return to bed again.”

“True,” – agrees His brother, Thanatos-Mors. His hands guided many souls, and His eyes saw the human essence. – “Every evening you fall asleep, not knowing whether you will open your eyes the next morning. And yet at the end of the day you cut down on sleep, refuse food and water, and cruel thoughts are in your head. Life is fleeting, one day we will meet differently than now, and this will be the last time, so don't be hard on yourself."

“Be in unity with your body. All this time, only it will be next to you, even if it changes over time and to your taste. Give it love and understanding, and you will find peace,” – said the Gods, in Their words one could feel Love.

"How to find peace?"

The third Gods to whom I ask this question look into the distance. Some of the most ancient, those that many people forget about. They always exist side by side, They are strong and inseparable, without one there cannot be a second. Darkness and Night, Gods of the Shadows.

"Do you afraid when you turn off the light?" – asked Erebus-Scotus. His body cannot be seen in His Darkness, but His voice is clearly audible. – “Think and tell me, isn’t your brain playing games with you, is it worth staying in the dark?”

“And are you staying there alone?” – Nyx-Nox shook Her head. The Milky Way is visible in Her hair, the stars dance in Her eyes. – “What’s worse, not being alone or being left alone? Many people are afraid in the darkness not of the creatures of the night, but of themselves. Their thoughts, their past, present and future.”

“Be in unity with your mind. Treat it with patience. Let it be your ally, not your enemy, when entering the darkness. Let it be your weapon and shield, and you will find peace,” – said the Gods, in Their words one could feel Love.

"How to find peace?"

The fourth God to whom I ask this question laughs. I can hear barking, hissing, clattering hooves and voices all around. There is a lot of Him, He is different. He is in many faces, fast, fickle, but those who know see Him where His trace was and is. Mischief, God of the Laughter.

“Oh, my joy, do you remember how your soul looked forward to those days when you and your friends could go to the city?” – Loki leaned back, His curls and braids splashed like flames across the grass, and His multi-colored eyes turned towards His family. – “I know you remember those days. When you hanged out, when you went to your favorite coffee shop. How hiking in the mountains with your father settled in your head, how the taste of frozen yogurt remained, what you and your mother ate, as you remember the fur of your pets under your fingers."

"Be in unity with your family, with those you love. Whether through blood, or found family. Share memories, laugh, live, remember. Be the one who loves and be the one who is loved, and you will find peace," – said God, in His words one could feel Love.

"How to find peace?"

The last God I ask a question turns around. His hair is the red of the setting sun, and scarlet shines in His eyes. The one who has been with me the longest, who helped me grow and raised me Himself, who called me to Him, who accepted, loved and protected. Desert, God of Chaos.

“I’m not the first one you’ve asked this question,” – says the Father, Sutekh. It's raining outside, His presence is with me. – “They are all right, but you can be in unity with nature, but at the same time pollute and destroy it. You can be in unity with your body, but continue to be cruel to it. You can be in unity with the mind, but at the same time punish it for it's thoughts. You can be united with your family and still hurt them."

He came closer. A shiver ran down my spine, along with the distant sound of thunder. He sits down so that our faces are at the same level.

"There are only two choices. Either live in chaos, the likes of which I fight every night, or live in unity."

He waves His hands around:

"Unity with nature will give you a home. The Sky will bless you with clouds, the Earth with grains, the Water with life. People have learned to love other creatures, help them, take care of them, live side by side without hurting nature. Now are different times, but we need to continue to do this, even if it's something small."

He traces my silhouette with His hands:

"Unity with the body will give you strength. You are the owner of your body, a small spirit or God, and this is your temple. From the very birth of this temple, it has grown and only you can decide what to do with it, how to decorate it, how to change it. But you can never leave without care. Wash and check that everything is in order. Otherwise the temple will collapse. It may take time, sometimes a long time, before you find what is best for your temple. When, after time, Sleep and Death come for the spirit, there will be history in your temple."

He pointed to my forehead:

"Unity with the mind will give you peace of mind. You will learn to think and reason, it will give you support. It will be difficult to deceive you. Darkness and Night will not frighten you with their endless blackness – you will know yourself, your fears and virtues, your mechanisms. In the next time, left alone, you will have the best company in the form of the best interlocutor and person - yourself."

He put His hands on my shoulders:

"Unity with the family will give you love. Whether it's a purring cat, breakfast with relatives or a funny picture from friends. They give you a reminder that you deserve love, Mischief will remind you to laugh about. And, don't forget, you too you give them love in the ways that you know how, that you still have something in you that moves you forward, that warms your heart when you see the smile of others."

One of His hands left my shoulder:

“But none of this will make sense if you don’t do the most important thing. You won’t survive any storm, you’ll break at the first gust of wind,” – the Father's free hand pointed to my heart. – “Until you find unity in yourself. That is when you will find peace.”

These were the words of the last God. Love was felt in His words, in His eyes, in His very presence.

[a-child-of-chaos906]

Thing about Tengrism I love is there is almost no canon, the only two I know are Tengri is superior, Deity or forse, and to follow it's philosophy of being kind.

I know six creation myths. And they all are true. It depends on region. I heard more turkish version with Ak Ana, more mongolian with Ulgen and Erlik. In my region Tengri was born out of the egg. And they are all right.

I didn't know about Erlik or Ulgen until I started to talk with other Tengrist. They didn't know about my local belief, that Sun and Moon are Tengri's eyes. There is no right pantheon. There could be Gods in one region that don't exist in others. I found it beautiful.

Umay Ana has different roles in different regions. On one land She is Goddess of fertility and virginity. In others She is only Earth. In others She is Goddess of children. She is all of it, even if in other communities some of it do not acknowledge.

Tengri is seen as Deity to some, or forse, the world itself for others and they are all right.

I really like that there is no dogma. That you should to figure it out yourself, what is the best for you. With talking to others. Because there is so little left. Mongolian Tengrism, Turkish Tengrism, Kazakh Tengrism, Siberian Tengrism and many more, they all has differences, but the core is Tengri. And, at the end of the day, you need to find, what is the most appealing to you.

Gods, I fucking love Tengrism.

[a-child-of-chaos906]

Tengri, the great Deity, born before the existence of the world, is older than time itself, and what this very world created, is the Cosmos and the Sky itself, with their endless expanses: (Is simply exists).

Me (little human with some kind of neurodivergency, who tries to do what they can without going crazy): Hello, Dad! Walking home, I noticed a few bright yellow dandelions. They reminded me of you and your Sun, so I leave them to you as an offering. I hope you will enjoy!

Tengri (despite all His greatness and strength, being one of the most kind, gentle and loving the world and people Deities): Oh, thank you, my dear, this is wonderful. I'm glad you liked it. :)

Тенгри, великое Божество, рождённый до существования мира, старше самого времени и что этот самый мир создал, является самим Космосом и Небом, с их бескрайними просторами: (Просто существует).

Я (маленький человек с какой-то нейроотличностью, что пытается делать что может, при этом не сойти с ума): Привет, Пап! Идя домой я заметила несколько ярких жёлтых одуванчиков. Они мне напомнили о Вас и Вашем солнце, поэтому я оставляю их Вам как подношение. Надеюсь, Вам понравится!

Тенгри (не смотря на всё Своё величие и силу, являющийся одним из самых добрых, нежных и любящих мир и людей Божеств): Ах, спасибо, моя дорогая, это прекрасно. Я рад, что тебе понравилось. :)

[a-child-of-chaos906]

"Как найти покой?"

Первые три Бога, которым я задаю этот вопрос, одаряют меня улыбкой. В самом Их имени чувствуется сила, одни из самых древних, одни из Создателей. Небо, Земля, Вода, Боги мира.

"Посмотри вокруг себя," – сказал Көк Тенгри. Один Его глаз – Солнце, второй – Луна. – "Что ты видишь?"

"Это наши творения," – отвечает Ұмай Ана за своего мужа. С Её словами растёт лес, спеют плоды. – "От маленького жучка до древних степей."

"Ты, и подобные тебе тоже," – кивает Ақ Ана. С Её дыханием двигаются волны и бегут ручьи с гор в общий океан. – "Так что наш ответ прост."

"Будь в единстве с нашими творениями, с миром и природой. Не обижай их и помогай им, и ты найдёшь покой," – промолвили Боги, в Их словах чувствовалась любовь.

"Как найти покой?"

Вторые Боги, которым я задаю этот вопрос, переглядываются. В Их ладонях нежность, на крыльях лёгкость. Они похожи, что порой не отличишь. Два брата, Сон и Смерть, Боги отдыха.

"Чего ты ждёшь, когда закрываешь глаза под одеялом?" – по доброму улыбается Гипнос-Сомнус. Его голос словно колыбельная. – "Чего ты ожидаешь? Нового дня, того, что ты проснёшься. Того что вновь вкусишь еду, того, что вновь вернёшься в постель."

"Верно," – соглашается Его брат, Танатос-Морс. Его руки провели множество душ, а глаза видели человеческую суть. – "Каждый вечер ты засы��аешь, не зная, откроешь ли глаза на следующее утро. И всё же под конец дня ты урезаешь сон, отказываешься от еды и воды, а в голове твоей жестокие мысли. Жизнь скоротечна, однажды мы встретимся не так, как сейчас, и это будет последний раз, поэтому не относись жестоко к себе."

"Будь в единстве со своим телом. Всё это время лишь оно будет рядом с тобой, даже если и будет меняться со временем и под твой вкус. Дай ему любовь и понимание, и ты найдёшь покой," – промолвили Боги, в Их словах чувствовалась любовь.

"Как найти покой?"

Третьи Боги, которым я задаю этот вопрос, смотрят вдаль. Одни из самых древних, те, о ком многие забывают. Они всегда существуют рядом, Они сильны и неразлучны, без одного не может быть и второй. Тьма и Ночь, Боги теней.

"Не боишься ли ты, выключая свет?" – поинтересовался Эреб-Скотус. Его тела не разобрать в Его Тьме, но Его голос отчётливо слышно. – "Подумай и скажи, не играет ли твой мозг с тобой в игры, стоит остаться в темноте?"

"Да и в одиночку ли ты там остаёшься?" – покачала головой Нюкта-Нокс. В Её волосах виднеется Млечный Путь, в Её глазах танцуют звёзды. – "Что страшнее, остаться не одному или остаться одному? Очень многие бояться во тьме не созданий ночи, а самих себя. Своих мыслей, своего прошлого, настоящего и будущего."

"Будь в единстве со своим разумом. Относись к нему с терпением. Пусть, входя во тьму, он будет твоим союзником, а не врагом. Пусть он будет твоим оружием и щитом, и ты найдёшь покой," – промолвили Боги, в Их словах чувствовалась любовь.

"Как найти покой?"

Четвертый Бог, которому я задаю этот вопрос, смеётся. Вокруг слышится лай, шипение, цокот копыт и голоса. Его много, Он разный. Он есть во многом, быстрый, непостоянный, но знающие видят Его там, где был и есть Его след. Озорство, Бог смеха.

"Ох, радость моя, ты помнишь, как твоя душа с нетерпением ждала тех дней, когда ты и твои друзья смогут выехать в город?" – Локи откинулся назад, Его кудри и косички расплескались языками пламени по траве, а разноцветные глаза повернулись в сторону Его семьи. – "Я знаю, ты помнишь те дни. Когда вы гуляли, когда вы заходили в твою любимую кофейню. Как в твоей голове осели походы в горы с твоим отцом, как остался вкус замороженного йогурта, что ты и твоя мама ели, как ты помнишь шерсть своих питомцев под пальцами."

"Будь в единстве со своей семьёй, с теми, кого ты любишь. Будь то через кровь, или найденную семью. Разделяй воспоминания, смейся, живи, помни. Будь тем, кто любит и буть тем, кого любят, и ты найдёшь покой," – промолвил Бог, в Его словах чувствовалась любовь.

"Как найти покой?"

Последний Бог, кому я задаю вопрос, поворачивается. Его волосы – красное закатное Солнце, в Его глазах сияет алый. Тот, кто дольше всего со мной, кто помогал расти и растил Сам, кто звал к себе, кто принял, любил и защищал. Пустыня, Бог хаоса.

"Я не первый, кому ты задаёшь этот вопрос," – говорит Отец, Сутех. За окном идёт дождь, Его присутствие со мной. – "Все Они правы, но ты можешь быть в единстве с природой, но при этом загрязнять и уничтожать её. Ты можешь быть в единстве со своим телом, но продолжать быть жестоким к нему. Ты можешь быть в единстве с разумом, но при этом наказывать его за мысли. Ты можешь быть в единстве с семьёй, при этом делать им больно."

Он подошёл ближе. По позвоночнику пробежалась дрожь, вместе с дальним звуком грома. Он садится, чтобы наши лица были на одном уровне.

"Выбора всего два. Или жить в хаосе, подобному которому я сражаюсь каждую ночь, или жить в единстве."

Он обводит руками вокруг:

"Единство с природой даст тебе дом. Небо благословит облаками, Земля злаками, Вода жизнью. Люди научились любить других существ, помогать им, заботься о них, жить бок о бок, не делая природе больно. Сейчас другие времена, но это нужно продолжать делать, даже если это что-то маленькое."

Он обводит руками мой силуэт:

"Единство с телом даст тебе силы. Ты владелец своего тела, маленький дух или Бог, и это твой храм. С самого рождения этого храма он рос и лишь тебе решать, что с ним делать, как украшать, как изменять. Но его никогда нельзя оставлять без заботы. Мыть и проверять, всё ли в порядке. Иначе храм рухнет. Это может занять время, порой долгое, прежде чем ты найдёшь, что самое лучшее для твоего храма. Когда, по истечении времени, Сон и Смерть придут за духом, в твоём храме будет история."

Он указал на мой лоб:

"Единство с разумом даст тебе спокойствие. Ты научишься думать и рассуждать, оно даст тебе опору. Тебя будет сложно обмануть. Тьма и Ночь не будут пугать тебя своей бескрайней чернотой – ты будешь знать себя, свои страхи и достоинства, свои механизмы. В следующий раз, оставшись в одиночестве, у тебя будет лучшая компания в виде лучшего с��беседника и человека – тебя."

Он положил руки на мои плечи:

"Единство с семьёй даст тебе любовь. Будь то мурлыканье кота, завтрак с родственниками или смешная картинка от друзей. Они дают тебе напоминание о том, что ты заслуживаешь любви, Озорство напомнит, о чём можно смеяться. И, не забывай, что ты тоже даёшь им любовь теми способами, которыми умеешь, то что в тебе до сих пор есть то, что движет вперёд, что греет сердце, когда видишь улыбку других."

Одна Его рука ушла с моего плеча:

"Но ничего из этого не будет иметь смысла, если ты не сделаешь самое главное. Ты не переживёшь ни одну бурю, сломаешься от первого порыва ветра," – свободная рука Отца указала на моё сердце. – "Пока ты не найдёшь покой в самой себе. Вот именно тогда ты �� найдёшь покой."

Это были слова последнего Бога. В Его словах, глазах, в самом Его присутствии чувствовалась любовь.

"How to find peace?"

The first three Gods I ask this question give me a smile. One can feel the power in Their very name; They are one of the most ancient, one of the Creators. Sky, Earth, Water, Gods of the World.

"Look around you," – said Kök Tengri. One of His eyes is the Sun, the other is the Moon. – "What do you see?"

"These are our creations," – Umay Ana answers for Her husband. With Her words the forest grows and the fruits ripen. – "From a small bug to ancient steppes."

“You, and people like you too,” – Ak Ana nods. With Her breath, waves move and streams flow from the mountains into the common ocean. – "So our answer is simple."

“Be in unity with our creations, with the world and nature. Do not offend them and help them, and you will find peace,” – said the Gods, in Their words one could feel Love.

"How to find peace?"

The Second Gods, to whom I ask this question, glance at each other. There is tenderness in Their palms, lightness on Their wings. They look so similar that sometimes you can’t tell Them apart. Two brothers, Sleep and Death, Gods of the Rest.

"What are you waiting for when you close your eyes under the blanket?" – Hypnos-Somnus smiles kindly. His voice is like a lullaby. – “What are you waiting for? A new day, that you will wake up. That you will taste food again, that you will return to bed again.”

“True,” – agrees His brother, Thanatos-Mors. His hands guided many souls, and His eyes saw the human essence. – “Every evening you fall asleep, not knowing whether you will open your eyes the next morning. And yet at the end of the day you cut down on sleep, refuse food and water, and cruel thoughts are in your head. Life is fleeting, one day we will meet differently than now, and this will be the last time, so don't be hard on yourself."

“Be in unity with your body. All this time, only it will be next to you, even if it changes over time and to your taste. Give it love and understanding, and you will find peace,” – said the Gods, in Their words one could feel Love.

"How to find peace?"

The third Gods to whom I ask this question look into the distance. Some of the most ancient, those that many people forget about. They always exist side by side, They are strong and inseparable, without one there cannot be a second. Darkness and Night, Gods of the Shadows.

"Aren't you afraid when you turn off the light?" – asked Erebus-Scotus. His body cannot be seen in His Darkness, but His voice is clearly audible. – “Think and tell me, isn’t your brain playing games with you, is it worth staying in the dark?”

“And are you staying there alone?” – Nyx-Nox shook Her head. The Milky Way is visible in Her hair, the stars dance in Her eyes. – “What’s worse, not being alone or being left alone? Many people are afraid in the darkness not of the creatures of the night, but of themselves. Their thoughts, their past, present and future.”

“Be in unity with your mind. Treat it with patience. Let it be your ally, not your enemy, when entering the darkness. Let it be your weapon and shield, and you will find peace,” – said the Gods, in Their words one could feel Love.

"How to find peace?"

The fourth God to whom I ask this question laughs. I can hear barking, hissing, clattering hooves and voices all around. There is a lot of Him, He is different. He is in many faces, fast, fickle, but those who know see Him where His trace was and is. Mischief, God of the Laughter.

“Oh, my joy, do you remember how your soul looked forward to those days when you and your friends could go to the city?” – Loki leaned back, His curls and braids splashed like flames across the grass, and His multi-colored eyes turned towards His family. – “I know you remember those days. When you hanged out, when you went to your favorite coffee shop. How hiking in the mountains with your father settled in your head, how the taste of frozen yogurt remained, what you and your mother ate, as you remember the fur of your pets under your fingers."

"Be in unity with your family, with those you love. Whether through blood, or found family. Share memories, laugh, live, remember. Be the one who loves and be the one who is loved, and you will find peace," – said God, in His words one could feel Love.

"How to find peace?"

The last God I ask a question turns around. His hair is the red of the setting sun, and scarlet shines in His eyes. The one who has been with me the longest, who helped me grow and raised me Himself, who called me to Him, who accepted, loved and protected. Desert, God of Chaos.

“I’m not the first one you’ve asked this question,” – says the Father, Sutekh. It's raining outside, His presence is with me. – “They are all right, but you can be in unity with nature, but at the same time pollute and destroy it. You can be in unity with your body, but continue to be cruel to it. You can be in unity with the mind, but at the same time punish it for it's thoughts. You can be united with your family and still hurt them."

He came closer. A shiver ran down my spine, along with the distant sound of thunder. He sits down so that our faces are at the same level.

"There are only two choices. Either live in chaos, the likes of which I fight every night, or live in unity."

He waves His hands around:

"Unity with nature will give you a home. The Sky will bless you with clouds, the Earth with grains, the Water with life. People have learned to love other creatures, help them, take care of them, live side by side without hurting nature. Now are different times, but we need to continue to do this, even if it's something small."

He traces my silhouette with His hands:

"Unity with the body will give you strength. You are the owner of your body, a small spirit or God, and this is your temple. From the very birth of this temple, it has grown and only you can decide what to do with it, how to decorate it, how to change it. But you can never leave without care. Wash and check that everything is in order. Otherwise the temple will collapse. It may take time, sometimes a long time, before you find what is best for your temple. When, after time, Sleep and Death come for the spirit, there will be history in your temple."

He pointed to my forehead:

"Unity with the mind will give you peace of mind. You will learn to think and reason, it will give you support. It will be difficult to deceive you. Darkness and Night will not frighten you with their endless blackness – you will know yourself, your fears and virtues, your mechanisms. In the next time, left alone, you will have the best company in the form of the best interlocutor and person - yourself."

He put His hands on my shoulders:

"Unity with the family will give you love. Whether it's a purring cat, breakfast with relatives or a funny picture from friends. They give you a reminder that you deserve love, Mischief will remind you to laugh about. And, don't forget, you too you give them love in the ways that you know how, that you still have something in you that moves you forward, that warms your heart when you see the smile of others."

One of His hands left my shoulder:

“But none of this will make sense if you don’t do the most important thing. You won’t survive any storm, you’ll break at the first gust of wind,” – the Father's free hand pointed to my heart. – “Until you find unity in yourself. That is when you will find peace.”

These were the words of the last God. Love was felt in His words, in His eyes, in His very presence.