#A BRIEF FORAY INTO SINCERITY

[kitkatsudon]

A brief foray into the military ranks of TKEM characters…

It’s no secret that our favourite boys from the Kingdom of Corea have a history in the military - but apart from Gon being bottom of his class in the Naval Academy (as confirmed by Choi Gitae in Ep4), what else do we know? As with every tiny detail that sparks my interest in this show, I took it upon myself to find out, and gave myself a headache in the process. Let’s have a look, shall we?

Lee Jihun:

I’m starting with him because he’s the only one I could find a concrete answer for, thanks to him being from a universe very similar to ours. Though we only see him very briefly in Ep16, from that short scene we can glean a little bit of information about what he was doing:

To find his rank, one needs only to look at his epaulettes. You can see that his are black, with three gold stripes: two thick ones, with a thin stripe in the middle. This identifies his rank as follows:

He’s a Soryeong, which is the equivalent rank to a Lieutenant Commander.

However, what I find perhaps more interesting for Jihun is this badge he’s wearing:

Though it’s blurry when you zoom in, I’m pretty sure it’s this one:

You heard it here first, folks. Lee Jihun is a Navy SEAL. They didn’t have to include this detail - you’d probably have to be quite familiar with the military to recognise it straight away, and I doubt that even most Korean fans would be able to recognise it, because I can tell you for a fact that I wouldn’t be able to recognise the equivalent for my own country. Someone on the production team decided this, and I want to give them a big kiss on the mouth, because now it’s confirmed that the sweet little Jihun we saw grew up to be totally badass after his abusive father passed away. I sincerely hope that it was a good life that led him to joining this branch of the military, and not some combination of horrible factors that pushed him into joining one of the most intense and dangerous branches… hm. I’m not going to dwell on that, actually. You can all make your own conclusions here.

Now… to the Kingdom. *sigh.* This is where things start to get more vague and confusing. I’m going to start with ranks first, and then go onto what they were doing as one big section because, spoiler alert, I haven’t got any sort of concrete idea.

Lee Gon:

His rank is easiest to determine, because Choi Gitae says it explicitly when they met at his father’s funeral in Ep4. I cross-referenced this with the closed-caption Korean subtitles, and everything adds up nicely: though he’s the Commander-in-Chief of all the armed forces in the Kingdom, thanks to his position as the monarch, while he was actually serving, he rose to the rank of Daewi, or Lieutenant - the highest rank of the junior officers - before leaving the navy.

Jo Yeong:

When we see Yeong in his navy uniform in Ep6, this is what we can see:

Once again, that same pattern emerges on his epaulettes of two thick stripes surrounding a thin stripe - he’s a Soryeong, a Lieutenant Commander. This means that Yeong ranked one rank higher than Gon before he left the navy, which is something that brings me quite a lot of joy.

However, something I like even more than that is Yeong’s current title, as the leader of the Royal Guard. We all know him and love him as Captain Jo, but in Korean he’s referred to as 조영 대장 - Jo Yeong Daejang. This is what Gon calls him in the iconic “Are you having fun, Captain Jo?” and you can also see that title of Daejang on his character page on the official TKEM website. On WordReference, this is what happens if I search for 대장:

Ignoring the results about other things, it doesn’t seem to mean “Captain” explicitly, it’s more like a general kind of leader title. His rank isn’t necessarily “Captain,” it’s whatever Daejang is equivalent to. So… how good is a Daejang? Looking at the South Korean armed forces, in the army, air force, and marine corps, Daejang is equivalent to General, and in the navy, Daejang is equivalent to Admiral. To put this into context a little better, the only rank in the South Korean navy higher than Daejang is Wonsu, and this rank only exists on paper and has never been given to any officer of the South Korean armed forces. To achieve this rank of Wonsu, you’re appointed from the rank of Daejang when you have “distinguished achievements.”

In conclusion: Yeong has an incredibly high rank in the armed forces, second only really to Gon himself, assuming no one from the Kingdom has ever been appointed the rank of Wonsu either. However… there’s a first time for everything, and though I’m only speculating and of course could never say anything for sure, if anyone was going to get those distinguished achievements needed to be a Wonsu, it would be our Jo Yeong Daejang.

Choi Gitae:

I’m including him briefly because I have a bone to pick with the subtitles. In English, he’s Captain Choi. In Korean, Gon refers to him as Hamjang, which, as far as I can tell, doesn’t exist in the South Korean navy of our universe. In the Korean subtitles in Ep4, he’s named as 최 소령, Choi Soryeong, and he’s just… he’s not that. Let’s take a look at some pictures:

The epaulettes on the first picture and the star badge on the second tell us that his rank should be this:

He’s a Junjang, equivalent to a Rear Admiral (lower half). Not a Captain, and not a Lieutenant Commander. As for the Hamjang/Junjang disparity, I’m going to suggest that Hamjang is the Kingdom of Corea’s equivalent to the Republic’s Junjang.

So, what was everyone doing in the navy?

The only clue we have is a badge:

This is from Yeong’s uniform, but in Ep6 Choi Gitae was wearing the same, and Gon was wearing a gold version of it. However, for the life of me, I can’t seem to figure out what it is! The design seems to be that of a ship sailing through the waters, but that just gives ✨navy✨ in a general sense. Browsing google images, I’ve noticed the same golden badge that Gon wears on other high ranking members of the South Korean navy, so maybe it signifies a high rank? Or maybe it just means that the wearer is in the navy? I don’t know! I can’t work it out! What it tells us at least is, if Yeong isn’t wearing a “specialised” badge like Jihun… it’s unlikely that he served in any kind of special forces… which I feel is a piece of information that might break some hearts in the fandom as their headcanons shatter into pieces. I’m disappointed too, because when I saw Yeong’s badge without paying attention to any of the other characters, I thought that the two shapes on the sides looked a little like submariner dolphins, so I’ve spent half a year or so thinking that’s what Yeong did in the navy, before I realised that Gon and Choi Gitae had the exact same badge.

So, if anyone has been bothered enough to read this far and also happens to be a Korean military buff, I would love you forever if you could tell me exactly what this badge means, and whether it gives us any indication of what Yeong or Gon or anyone else was doing in the navy. However, maybe it’s good that it’s unclear, because that leaves fic writers plenty of room to wonder about what Gon and Yeong were doing in the military - whether they were doing different things, strengthening their bond as best bros doing the same thing, and if you’re on the same side of this fandom as me, whether they were repressing some big feelings at seeing each other in their military uniforms, or whether they were engaging in certain activities that are maybe stereotypical of sailors cooped together on the same boat without women to spend their nights with… there’s plenty of room for interpretation :D

[2n2n]

Don’t you think Tsunene kiss is a bit early? Like Nene-chan barely KNOWS Tsukasa at this moment, she never questionned what happened in the Red House… I think I’d like to have seen it in volume 22 or later, when she was "more interested" in him. Nonetheless it’s freaking interesting because she knows he’s a Yorishiro, so maybe he will try to convince her to destroy him……: so many possibilities

Why does Nene-chan need to know much about Tsukasa in order to be kissed by him? He's a social reject undead 13 year old ... While I understand if it is outside of your taste, it makes typical sense for a pairing in this manga, specifically. I'm not sure how much you think Hanako knows about Nene-chan, early manga, when he begins flirting with her… ? Doesn't our manga OPEN with Hanako doing some quite out of pocket things, drawing Nene-chan into being confused & questioning of his intentions towards her? She questions his sincerity all the way up to the Far Shore ... the Yugi man... you're asking too much for any twin to do things in the right order at the right time.........

Hanako, day 1 meeting Nene-chan, asserts them as a 'couple',

and QUICKLY sets into AGGRESSIVELY flirting with her! He admits to not caring about her life at this point-- this is purely physical ... (the sincerity comes later.)...

Amane wastes no time "getting to know" or "becoming interested in" Nene-chan, he does not give her much time or opportunity to "get interested in" or "get to know" him.

Hanako, meanwhile, he is quite immediately captivated by Nene-chan at first sight…

and binds her to him quickly. And that is a beautiful/romantic thing for our fated lovers.

Not long into their friendship (which can only exist in the brief hours between and after classes, give or take some spare moments), Hanako is kissing her …

How much does Nene-chan know about Amane, here, in volume 2? Any more than she knows about Tsukasa, right now? Arguably less???

Amane at age 8 is flirting with Nene-chan and asserting she is his type in, oh surely only an hour at best, of knowing her… he's a kid, his feelings are simple…

This isn't bad writing or something, it's just AidaIro's preference for romance; quite instant. Sumire did not know anything about Hakubo, when meeting him, but he was a handsome guy, she childishly and immediately is in love, and is in love for good! Who is to say a quickly-and-stupid-onset-romance can't become something earthshattering and beautiful? Who is to say a childish, impulsive start, ignorant of each other, is sloppy or 'too quick'? That's just an odd criticism to me, as a fan of all the pairings in this manga. I think KouMitsu is THE slowest individuals out here, and legitimately it's so slow for me it's unromantic fkldsfjslgg.glkjkljl.... meeting someone, forgetting about them,, keep forgetting about them,, have other crush, is like, ough its a struggle for me. Not how MY romance worked LOL!

While it took a long time for HanaNene to kiss on the lips, that has a LOT more to do with AMANE's specific hang-ups about vulnerability, fear of being attached, avoidance to take things seriously… his concept of 'having no future' and etc !! THINGS TSUKASA DOES NOT HAVE… as Tsukasa is not repressed, like Amane! I think if Amane was true to his heart, he'd have kissed Nene-chan full-on much sooner, but he's naturally avoidant of confession and earnestness!!! Amane would wait for the other party to confess, rather than confess himself! Amane is defensive and rude!!! Tsukasa is simply the type to not hide anything he's feeling. So a mouth kiss is easier for him to, do.

By comparison to Amane, in some respects, Tsukasa has been quite slow and observant… lol. I would argue Tsukasa has offered her more information & background on both himself and Amane in his forays with her, leading her to the bookstacks, to nowhere, meeting her at the Red House... though he has had less two-sided conversation, less time. These are interesting differences. I don't see how one is worse or more rapidfire. Amane hides his truth & lies a lot. If not for Tsukasa, Nene-chan would not know enough about Amane to fall so hard for him, perhaps. Through Amane's romance with her, Tsukasa gets to see quite a lot of Nene's personality. HanaNene in this way fuels TsuNene, and vice versa.

I think Tsukasa has observed Nene-chan quite a lot, is childish, and has precious little social connections at all; I think Nene-chan stands out A LOT! We know Tsukasa observes a lot of what goes on, truly at an unknown frequency. I think he could know as much about Nene-chan as Amane does, though as mostly an observer ... though, we don't know what sort of development they could have when Tsukasa is 12 (: Tsukasa's timeline is funky ! Disordered !!! He can't act normal, haha.

Tsukasa is childish… for Tsukasa, I think the kiss makes sense. I'm only shocked that little guy can really just up and kiss a girl ... I feel like it's taken him quite a long time .... she made her first impression when he was 4 ... much to daydream about, that mysterious girl.

Nene-chan had been lost & confused the entire early portion of Amane's pursuing of her... I'm afraid these Yugi twins both have poor romantic candor. They're quite insistent, aren't they? You have no idea if they like you or not, you get harassed, you get grabbed and pulled around and kissed willy-nilly with no explanation at all, you get suddenly claimed as property and made to follow commands … ! I'm afraid both Yugi are like that to Nene-chan, so I do not see why Tsukasa is unbelievable or too fast with it…!

Criticizing the trajectory and then immediately thinking of the destruction... I'm not with you anon, as much as I think Tsukasa being open to Nene-chan destroying him is in and of itself huge and romantic of him, a beautiful display of trust, placing her into the same position he would place Amane in.... I would like them to finally talk, alone, especially given time is frozen, and Tsukasa has longer than the duration of a school day ... I hope he can take her someplace the frozen clock can't effect... she has so much to process hahahaha ... she just starts accepting one Yugi twin likes her, and here comes the other one kissing her without a proper explanation ....

[adultswim2021]

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! #4: “Salame” (aka “Sitcom”) | March 4, 2007 - 11:45PM | S01E04

This one starts off with a true classic, Steve Mahanahan’s Child Clown Outlet, though this bit gets them in trouble these days by conspiracy theorists who believe that it’s a sly reference to real-life secret activities by Hollywood sickos. I don’t think that was the intent. This is later given a little sequel with Mike Mahanahan’s Child Clown Shoe’s Outlet. Tim gets a dumb haircut just for this bit, and that behind-the-scenes footage winds up being the “great job” card, but changed to “Salame” instead.

The hosting bit is pretty bare bones. It’s a simple, undersold premise that Eric has created the entire show himself on VHS. This also includes a brief outtake-seeming bit of footage where somebody seems to be angrily laying down the law to Tim and Eric. “I’ve said my piece, I’ll leave these on your desk” says the disembodied voice. Tim and Eric start harmonizing their response of “fair enough”. Hilarious. This segues into David Liebe Hart’s first segment on the show (previously seen in promos for the series premiere), where he sings about an alien race and their customs with a strange orange cat puppet on his knee. He’s not very good at ventriloquism, in fact he’s not even making an effort at ventriloquism. David Liebe Hart is a Los Angeles area public access television personality. His show The Junior Christian Teaching Bible Lesson Program has been on since, I don’t know when, but at least the 90s. I believe he usually acts as a puppeteer and not a ventriloquist on that show. Could it be that Tim and Eric cruelly promised to simply not film his face while doing the puppet’s voices? Who can say. 

David is an interesting character. He has been kicking around Hollywood since the 70s at least, and you can see him in the background of select episodes of sitcoms and the like (A Good Times background role can be seen here). He sincerely believes he’s been abducted by aliens, and is a devout Christian Scientist. He also likes to tour with a live “comedy” show. A friend of mine opened for him once, and he told me DLH vomited loudly in some outdoor seating area of the venue and then used the first part of his act to rage against the kitchen for poisoning him, claiming the food made him “spit up”. He also likes to claim that Tim & Eric are satanic pedophiles. I once heard an audio recording of one of these shows and it was genuinely troubling. I could barely follow what DLH was even saying.

This same friend called Tim during his internet show Office Hours, and reported this information of DLH making wild claims about him and Eric. Tim already knew about it, and was just sorta like “eh what can you do?” This was before the more recent attempt by right-wingers to do exactly the same thing. Oh yeah, before I forget: DLH is on the commentary track for this episode on DVD, and it’s good. 

This episode also has “Here She Comes”, where Weird Al (as Simon) escorts several dolled-up but nervous-looking elderly women to Tim & Eric. Tim & Eric are playing two straight-laced/evangelical-looking church men with long microphones and menacing auras. They whisper-speak the phrase “here she comes” as each woman is presented to them. Eventually Bob Odenkirk pops up from behind a podium to sing the “Here She Comes” song. They pick one and sing to her and make sort-of kissing smacks next to her head. It’s a very scary sketch. And… I like it.

“Making It” In Hollywood features an introduction from Billy Crystals, Awesome Show’s first foray into weaving gold from bad celebrity impersonators. The meat of the sketch is clips from a VHS series that teaches you how to make it in Hollywood, taught by Tim & Eric. Eric makes kissy faces at a beautiful woman in the class. Turns out she was TOO beautiful, because Tim Heidecker wound up MARRYING HER!! THIS IS WHERE THEY MET! ISN’T TRUE LOVE GRAND?? As for the sketch, this is pretty mid, and the humor is more on the conventional side. It’s still Tim & Eric though, so of course it ends with Tim & Eric bowing over and over while footage of DLH and his gross puppet fade over it, also bowing. 

Uncle Muscles presents Casey and His Brother with “Cops and Robbers”. DLH noted on the commentary that Tim & Eric are the first comedians to make fun of special education people. Tim and Eric give him a little pushback on both points of 1) no they weren’t and 2) Casey and his brother aren’t uh… uuuuhhhhh…. Hmm.

Pretty great, well-rounded episode, all things considered. So far the series has has very few weak spots. Season one MAY be perfect?

MAIL BAG

Hungry for more? Check out Edy's Ice Cream's official page to find your next favorite flavor. Edy's: Happiness By The Scoop.

What da fuq

I think you are making some of these mailbags up because some of your messages are just so crazy. Are you trying to get a show on Adult Swim called, "My Crazy Mailbag". It might just work!

I don’t make anything up, ever. I always tell the truth. The truth is - you stink. Just kidding. You don’t stink, and I like you

2023 is almost here. They say odd number years tend to be more soul-bearing than even ones. Although our calendar year system is a made up construct whose to say what year it truly is? Laugh out loud! Anywhoozle, any words of wisdom for Adult Swim fans about the future of this programming block in the coming year?

I think there needs to be more leftist causes being addressed on the air and less joking around.

What's the last thing you saw on TV that made you jump up for joy?

LOL - Nothing since Stuart MadTV (that is how I have him in my phone)

[crystalmarred]

From the moment Tsuru had laid her eyes upon the woman, she had been enhanced. Her eyes gleamed as the woman spun, twirled and dazzled the crowd that flocked to her.

Though A'atahni had no interest in her form--a story that would be quite different, were she a man--the way she moved was... familiar. Certain motions reminded him of the dancers in Thavnair, though his forays there had been too brief to know the name that might be associated with it. The flames that followed her steps, licked at her heels, made it apparent that the inspiration she took from Thavnair was only that: Inspiration.

Even the nearby bards quickened in an attempt to match her movements, though it proved a futile effort when the flutist in particular paused to catch their breath.

As quickly as it had begun, it ended. And nearly as fast had she disappeared in the direction of the lift.

Barely had she left and Tsuru had already reached up to tug at his shirt with an excited hop that told him well enough what she wanted before she voiced it: "Papa, can I go talk to her?!"

He sighed, dramatic a way that elicited a giggle from her.

"I suppose. It looked like she was on her way to the Drowning Wench."

As soon as he said that, Tsuru took off with A'atahni right behind her, her short legs unable to carry her further or faster than A'atahni's longer ones.

From nearer the Aetheryte Plaza, they ventured towards the lift and up the stairs until they find themselves in the Drowning Wench. As soon as they stepped foot into the establishment, Tsuru had already latched onto him. A tug of his clothes and wide, lavender-colored eyes indicated that she had spotted the woman, the glow of her limbal rings somehow brighter than was normal.

As they approached, A'atahni's lips curled upwards into a smile as he spoke.

"Excuse me," he said, voice as sweet as he often greeted others in the Drowning Wench, save for a hint of sincerity. Usually, when he spoke to people in the Drowning Wench, it was the men that were under the impression he found them attractive.

"I have with me an adoring fan that fell in love with your performance," A'atahni said, his hand set atop the young Au ra's head. "If you'll have us a moment."

Tsuru, suddenly shy, offered the woman only a small wave of her hand as she pulled up her collar in a failed attempt to hide her face.

@crystalmarred is blessed with a feather!

Limsa was bustling with passing of people. Either off to do their quests or learn a new job, craft some new items or even fish. What anyone did was their business though, on this day. There was a small crowd which had decided to gather around the giant aetheryte. Cheers could be heard as well as thunderous applauding. In the middle of it all was a woman. Dancing around gracefully, putting on a show for all who wante to watch.

Her steps were light as her body moved to the sound of music which was being played by a few bards nearby. She had been visiting from Thavnair and was about to head back but, not before she put on one last show for the people of Limsa. Ember as she went by had been travelling and showing her dance moves off for any that cared to watch. The finale came as her movements became faster but that was not all.

As her performances weren't always normal, they involved actual flames. After she was done the crowd erupted with cheers and applause once more before dispersing. During her performance her gaze had caught someone staring at her or, had it been her imagination. In a instant she disappeared down to the Drowning Wench to take a much needed break.

[fahye]

As someone who has followed and adored your work since Battlestar Galactica and Naruto (oh, the SUFFERING we all endured), I am overflowing with joy that you are now writing Yuri on Ice. Stargazer and Gravity are spectacular in both writing quality and emotional depth, and I am so tremendously grateful that they exist. Please continue to bestow your gifts upon us (in whatever time you can spare us, of course), oh marvelous one. *runs off to also shower love on inknose because HOLY COW THAT ART*

my inbox is so full of WONDERFUL PEOPLE at the moment and I just have to say how much I appreciate all of you. I’m going through a weird period of cognitive dissonance where I’m struggling with my original writing and half of my brain is doing its usual thing of shouting insults at the other half (YOU’RE A HACK, WHY CAN’T YOU MAKE WORDS, ALL YOUR IDEAS ARE STUPID), but everyone in fandom is so generous and sweet with their feedback and I’m spending time looking my comments and breathing and saying, ok. ok. you’ve got this. just keep putting in the work.

& it’s even more wonderful to know that there are people who have been around since the time I toppled headfirst into BSG fandom and started taking my writing seriously. so. thank you :)))

[guqin-and-flute]

good ol' 69

69. I Will Do Better In the Morning by Birdtalker

[Good ol’ 69 😂 Oh, this has always been one of the quintessential JGY songs to me, so I'm choosing him for this. There's no way I can do all the parallels in the lyrics full justice in such a short little thing and I wandered a little because plot, but I'm going with Vibes™. This will definitely not be the last time I use this song to write him. 3zun Raise Jingyi AU, somewhere in the middle, timeline not solidly defined. Just...sometime in there.]

[CW: Mention of physical abuse via Madam Jin and JGS, brief foray into sexual content, non-graphic flashback, mild self harm (biting inside of his cheek), JGY just generally having a bad time mentally and trying to muscle his way through it]

“You don’t seem well.”

Jin Guangyao opened his eyes, wearily. Looking up, he saw Su Minshan watching him with more than a little concern, hovering at the threshold of their meeting room. Taking a moment, he simply gazed at him; empty of emotion or intention, just so…tired. Then, he smiled. “What do you mean, Minshan?”

“You look exhausted. I know you work too hard.” The man took a step in toward him, expression one of earnest. “We can postpone tomorrow, I know how meeting with Chengmei drains you–even if he behaved tonight.”

“It’s nothing troubling,” Jin Guangyao responded easily.

He still sat at the table Xue Yang had recently vacated, strewn with Wei Wuxian’s notes and schematics, forgotten tea and dinner long cold by his elbow. It would taste revolting now and his stomach turned over at the very thought of it. Perhaps it had something to do with the resentful energy lingering in the air from the prototype of Xue Yang’s copycat Stygian Tiger amulet, still souring on his tongue.

He knew that there had to be exhaustion plain on his face. There was never any angle to Minshan and his conversations with him, just sincerity. It was almost a relief that he had seen it–just to have it recognized was…something. And it was certainly a relief that it was him who saw it; because he was not Er-ge, who would worry overmuch and try to root out the cause to fix. He was not Jin Guangshan, who would snort derisively and ask if he has demanded too much of him–that is, if he deigned to notice at all. He was not A-Fu, who might get into any number of “helpful” schemes to try to make him feel better. And he was not Zixuan or Jiang Yanli, who might be moved to intervene on his behalf and request that his father relieve him of some of his duties, and so complicate the whole mess of everything.

It meant nothing that Minshan knew that he was tired. The man was too devoted to him to do anything other than try to help without demanding he change anything. He was not one who would push the balance of things too off kilter with his worry, and so it was permissible to accept.

“Jin-er-gongzi,” Minshan said, quietly, tone almost reproachful at his attempt to dodge the conversation. “You truly do look unwell.”

Jin Guangyao let his eyes close again. His hand crept up to his ribs, massaging the ache there that rose with fair regularity, from cold or exertion or–as he was learning–the ache of resentful energy. Invisible scars, hiding in his hip, ribs, and shoulder, reminders of being kicked down the stairs of Koi Tower.

He was now in the heart of it, the bowels of Koi Tower, buried in a hidden basement corner hidden from prying eyes, dirtying himself with every foul thing his father asked of him. He didn’t regret it. He didn’t resent it. He couldn’t, not when he had worked so hard to get here. This is what he wanted.

And yet.

“…I’m just tired. I’m fine. There’s nothing for it.”

“You could rest. Don’t you have…company coming?” Su Minshan struggled with this last, his annoyance and disgust lemon-bitter in his voice.

Xichen was indeed visiting tonight, stopping over for the night on his trip to retrieve Fufu from Qinghe. But his distaste for Jin Guangyao’s love abruptly heightened his exhaustion to an untenable degree. He didn't want to perform this particular navigation, as kind as Su Minshan’s concern was otherwise. He wanted to be alone.

Opening his eyes, he made a show of gathering all the papers into a neat pile before standing. “I do. I should actually go and begin preparations.”

Minshan wilted. He was clearly crestfallen at the obvious dismissal, and so Jin Guangyao softened it. Smiling, he met his gaze. “Truly, I’m fine. But I think that postponing the meeting tomorrow is wise. It will give me time to ruminate. And maybe I will rest.” And maybe he actually would. He tilted his head. “Thank you, my friend.”

The man returned a troubled smile and bowed. Then, he left

That evening, when he greeted him, catching him up in their ritual bow, “A-Yao, you’ve been working too hard again,” were the first words out of Er-ge’s mouth.

He had to smile--a real one, if an exhausted one. Would it do anything to lift whatever pallor he had been apparently unable to banish with his afternoon meditation? “Do I look that awful?”

“A-Yao never looks awful.” His return smile was soft and knowing. “Just worn out. Do you have any duties to attend to?”

Turning, Jin Guangyao inviting him to follow through the grand entry gates with the angle of his shoulders as he answered, “I don’t.” He smiles back up at him. “The night is ours.”

“Ah, good.” In the dimness, the deep violet and pink of the setting sun, Xichen smoothed his palm over his shoulder blades. “Then I can take care of you.” The velvet slip of Xichen’s voice sent a shiver down his back, though Xichen’s face betrayed nothing salacious at all. It was an invitation, not a promise, for Xichen never assumed he will want sex–but all at once, even in his exhaustion, Jin Guangyao was eager for it. For him.

He let Xichen see it in his eyes, in the darkness between the lanterns of the boulevard in front of the massive main hall, burning and intent. “I would like that, Er-ge.”

Luckily, he only bruise he currently had was hidden on his scalp, the bloom of it masked by neat hair, and so he could make love to Xichen tonight without fear of any unanswerable questions.

At his answer, the tips of Xichen’s brows caught the warm light when they lifted, his kind smile widening to secret impishness--and how Jin Guangyao loved that he was among the few that got to see this side of him. So often Er-ge only got to be the responsible and measured Clan Leader. One had to be allowed close to fully enjoy the gift that was him allowing himself to be playful. "I believe I would as well, A-Yao."

Oh, he had missed him.

Retreating to his rooms, they both bathed, separately–Xichen to maintain Lan cleanliness after his long journey from Gusu and Jin Guangyao to rinse the last of the resentful energy from his skin. It wouldn’t do to be caught out for such a careless mistake.

Not when everything else felt like it was slowly narrowing down.

(The whispers. The dirty looks. Mingjue violently opposing Xue Yang, the Watchtowers, his very existence. His father pressing for the Stygian Tiger Amulet to be perfected. The way he talked about Mingjue as a problem to be solved. Jin Guangyao could feel something coming to a head. Something that had dread tangling in him.)

He frowned, flinching away from this thought. He knew better than to let such things into his time with Xichen. His weariness must really be getting the better of him.

It was comfort he sought when he returned to his bedroom and pressed a very nearly naked Xichen back against his bed, kissing him. His skin was soft and damp, his mouth welcoming. Warmth from his own bath and fatigue weighed Jin Guangyao down like lead blocks, but he would have this. He wanted this.

(He just wanted to be happy. To feel happy. For once.)

Beneath him, Xichen hummed against his lips, pleased.

(There are times when it perched on his lips. When it almost came out–-all of it. He almost begged for forgiveness and options and help. He almost lost himself in Xichen and almost believed that the secret pain of all this could be unraveled with a simple tug. That that would even be the right choice. That this was not the only happiness he could cling to. The aura of Xichen’s love, the crisp, clean air waft of his power and understanding made Jin Guangyao ache to move into the space that is Er-ge’s A-Yao. To fully be that man. He wanted. He wanted.)

He settled down onto his elbows, closer, burying his fingers in the spread halo of his thick, damp hair. Xichen opened his mouth. Heat bloomed between them both.

(He didn’t. He didn’t want to be that. He had what he wanted.)

Xichen's hand slipped up into his loose shirt, smoothing down his side.

(He was useful. He was doing what was needed.)

Rolling his shoulders back, he shrugged the shirt off. His ribs twinged. His breath caught, just a moment. Xichen paused.

(He had exactly what he had always wanted. Nothing less. This is what you wanted. What you promised.)

“A-Yao?” It was quiet and questioning, a whisper against his lips.

Frustration grated in Jin Guanyao’s jaw and he ducked down, kissing Xichen’s throat, pressing quiet negation there.

(“You don’t get to play the victim, here,” Madam Jin had snarled.)

His ribs stabbed again, sharper, pinching.

(Shame. You are shameful.)

A chain reaction, rattling back, flashes only. Chifeng-zun kicking him to the ground.

His side ached.

“Did you pretend to be delicate and poor?”

The brothel.

(This is what happened when he didn’t file it all away; he wasn’t able to experience joy in any partition of his life. They would bleed and contaminate and render him useless.)

He fought to breathe against the squeeze, teeth bared against Xichen’s collarbone. He wasn’t touching him anymore, hands held carefully apart. Jin Guangyao hated it.

(Darker things. He hated it here.)

“Do you need–-”

“No.” A lie. The heat was gone. Bereft.

“A-Yao, it’s alright.”

With a frustrated, wordless hiss, Jin Guangyao rolled off onto his back and closed his eyes. Teeth set so hard on the inside of his cheek he tasted metal. Xichen never touched him until he asked, when this happened and he wanted. He reached out a hand, blindly, felt him take it up, another pressed to his cheek. Jin Guangyao didn’t want to see what face he was making down at him. Disappointment. Pity.

“Oh, love.”

He was being ugly when Xichen deserved beauty and-–and-–

“Shhh.” His hands, warm from the bath, warm from them smoothed over his forehead, so slowly.

“I want to,” he forced out, because he did. He had.

It just sounded strangled.

The hand stroking his forehead didn’t even pause. “If you’d like, we can try again later. Maybe the morning. But we don’t have to. I’m happy just being with you.”

“I hate this,” Jin Guangyao whispered rigidly.

“I don’t.” He was soothing, hand now coming down to slowly rub his bare sternum in gentle, unsuggestive circles. “I have you here. There is nothing more I need.”

“You don’t deserve….”

Gently, with each word picked out as clearly as a star against the night, he said, “I deserve what you are able to give me. Nothing more.”

The raw and guilty clench in his gut, the hidden resonance Xichen had somehow made ring with his words had Jin Guangyao nauseous. He deserved so much more. If he ever knew….

He must never know.

(Try.)

Rolling back, he buried his face in Xichen’s thigh. Let him stroke his hair.

He was so tired.

[rabbit-in-blue]

I almost forgot to send a sentence hehe! Here’s one for sherlolly sss- “I’m not saying you were wrong, but one of us was right and it wasn’t you.”

Last week due to technical problems with the power, I was not able to fulfill this promt. Yet I decided to wait until today to use it as the official closing of the six sentences Saturday, or six sentences Sunday on Saturday ... he he..

P.S. In the future I will continue to receive one sentence prompts, but I will not keep calling them six sentences nothing since I can never really finish a story in six sentences.

@writingwife-83 i hope you enjoy this

We need to talk

Something has been off about Molly Hooper, if Sherlock didn't know better, he would think she seems almost… depressed... As if something had drained all energy from her, she is constantly exhausted, she has been losing her appetite, and her always cheerful disposition and sweet sunshine demeanor has been displaced by a taciturn fazade. She has slowly withdrawn herself from Baker street, little by little  and on the now rare occasions that she spends the night, her sleep is uneasy. She gets up several times a night and wanders aimlessly around the flat, or lock herself in the washroom. Sherlock has wanted to go to her in those moments, and make sure that she is okay, but in his first two forays, Molly has made a big deal about she waking him up and has ended up on the verge of tears, so now whenever she gets, Sherlock prefers to pretend to be asleep.

Sherlock, being Sherlock, has too been through different stages, for the last weeks from sincere although moderate concern, to fear and uneasy, to absolute and total panic, especially since he was available to conclude that, after three years, nine months and twenty-eight days of romantic relationship he could not longer make Molly Hooper happy. Sherlock is afraid of losing the love of his life, so on one London many rainy days in witch he finds himself confined to his flat, he decides to share those fears with his friend and colleague Doctor John Watson.

"You know mate?" says Doctor Watson while lifting a cup of tea, Mrs. Hudson has just arranged for him from the tray. "There are countless causes for depression ... it doesn't necessarily have to do with you ..."

"Even so ... if she is going through something ... and  don’t know what it is, if I am not able to help her, or at least deduce what is wrong ... Am I not failing her as romantic partner?" the detective says staring into blank space with his hands clasped under his chin …

"Well" said Dr. Watson, trying very discreetly to askance at the wall clock, only to decide that it was still too early for whiskey altho it seems his friend could use a drink right now ... "ok, this is crazy and a little radical even," said the man, conspiratorially throwing his torso forward and patting his friend's knee twice, “but haven't you thought about talking to her?"

"I'm afraid," the detective mumbling almost inaudibly after a very brief but deep pause.

"Sorry what?" replies the doctor without explaining if he has not heard correctly or just cannot believe what he is hearing ...

"I'm afraid, John" repeats the detective, frustrated, looking directly into his friend's eyes for the first time that day.

Sherlock is no one to oftenly cry, as John has known, but he can see the emotion washing all over his face, even without a tear being shed. "I'm afraid of what answer I'm going to get," the detective says again before concentrating his gaze once more on the void.

Well, mate" Dr. Watson reiterates, compassionately, while gently squeezing his friend's shoulder, in a gesture of deep empathy. "It can't be worse than uncertainty." Their gazes meet again and Watson can clearly see fear and the pain, but also a glimmer of hope behind those clear blue eyes and it's  then like an epiphany, that Docto Watson makes his very own deduction “Sherlock...” the former army doctor says thoughtfully, “what if, wasn't depression, but something else?"

"Like what?" ask blandly the consulting detective

"Maybe she's pregnant," says John hesitantly.

“For God's sake, John” the detective will respond heatedly and clearly offended “I, corrct and successfully deduced your wife's pregnancy, from three random comments she made on your wedding day, I think I would have realized right away if the woman I am having sex with, is curently preagnead, dont you think?”

"So you two are still having sex..." Doctor Watson asks… states, completely disarming his detective friend whose face almost automatically have turn in all shades of red know by menkind

"Well...  it's complicated... she... it seems like ... she has been wanting to... but then she ... a-and then I ..." the detective begins to stumble, when his gentle stutters are interrupted by a text alert, which he immediately reads aloud after retrieving the phone from his dressing gown pocket  in the most obvious attempt of deflect subjects.

«We need to talk, can you come over?»

Sherlock Holmes’s world seems to sink as he realizes the message is from Molly. John gets it… after all, when was the last time anything good came out from a woman saying We need to talk?

Sadly, Doctor John Watson, will not see the end of this episode, another hour will pass and he will need to pick up Rosy from school, while Sherlock keeps buffering his girlfriend's text message. It will not be until hours later, when the former army doctor is preparing his daughter for bed, that the great detective will gain show signs of life a text message, which will read

«John, guess what? We're having a baby S.H »

Dr. Watson can't help but smile at the good news and has started typing his congratulations to the happy couple, when a mischievous feeling assails him, and instead he will send the following text to his friend

«I’m not saying you were wrong, but one of us was right and it wasn’t you...»

the end

[brokehorrorfan]

Blu-ray Review: Winterbeast

It's difficult to review a movie like Winterbeast, and not merely because it's virtually impossible to succinctly distill everything going on. Judged on traditional filmmaking merits - as basic as writing, directing, and acting - it's an unmitigated mess to the point that it almost feels like a parody. But there's a genuine sincerity to everything - particularly the Ray Harryhausen-inspired, homespun stop-motion animated monsters - that cannot be replicated. These amateurs put it all on screen to create a charmingly rustic oddity.

Shooting on the Massachusetts-lensed lo-fi horror movie began in 1986 and continued on and off for several years on a mix of 16mm and Super 8mm film before finally being released on video in 1992. In addition to noticeable shifts in film stock, it's not unusual to see wardrobe, hairstyles, and sets change mid-scene due to the protracted production. Reminiscent of Spookies, the abundance of non sequiturs are cobbled together by what can barely be considered a plot.

Writer-director Christopher Thies uses the Native American legend of Chocorua as a jumping off point, but the story largely feels like he was making it up as he went. Vaguely resembling Twin Peaks, the surreal plot centers on a lodge in a remote mountain town run by the eccentric human villain (Bob Harlow), while a sergeant (Tim R. Morgan) and a ranger (Mike Magri) investigate the strange occurrences. Along the way there's a lot of flannel, Boston accents, a random zombie-mummy, a toaster raffle, a townsperson unironically named Dick Sargent (Bill MacLeod), and a penis prop that goes unaddressed.

The stop-motion work is the highlight of the film, and Thies seems to be aware of this fact. Despite the singular title, Winterbeast features multiple imaginative monsters (and mostly takes place during autumn to boot), from a mutant chicken to a sentient tree that looks like an adult Groot. Many of them are kaiju-sized, although it's difficult to judge scale since they rarely share the screen with humans. Two of the creatures were built by future Corpse Bride co-director Mike Johnson.

Winterbeast is unfortunately Thies' only credited film; had he continued, it’s easy to imagine him gaining a regional cult following in the vein of Don Dohler. It's awkward enough to add immense entertainment value without being a chore to sit through the 76-minute runtime. Ed Wood-esque in both boundless ambition and flawed execution, virtually every creative choice - every setup, every line read, every cut, every special effect - is left of center. Harlow is the only actor with charisma, camping it up like the offspring of John Waters and Murray Hamilton's mayor from Jaws.

Winterbeast is the highlight of Vinegar Syndrome's Home Grown Horrors: Volume One Blu-ray box set, which also includes 1988's Beyond Dream's Door and 1988's Fatal Exam. It has been newly restored in 2K from its original 16mm and Super 8mm film elements. It's one of the most jam-packed discs in Vinegar Syndrome’s impressive catalog, including an unfinished 73-minute workprint version of the film, sourced from 16mm print that was never fully mixed.

Producer Mark Frizzell provides a new audio commentary that's fairly informative, if not always engaging, as he dedicates an inordinate amount of time to pointing out sets vs. practical locations and 16mm vs. Super 8mm footage. Also included is a more lively archival track with Thies, Frizzell, and cinematographer Craig Mathieson, who poke fun at the movie. Frizzell sits down for a 27-minute interview as well. As the mastermind behind the stop-motion sequences in the film (plus work for the likes of Nickelodeon and ESPN), it's particularly interesting to hear him break down his craft.

Filmmaker Simon Barrett (writer of You're Next, Blair Witch, and The Guest) offers his appreciation for the film in an 18-minute piece. Shifting between sincerity and dry humor, he explains how his chance discovery of Winterbeast at a video store had an unexpectedly profound impact on him. In shorter interviews, actors Charles Majka, David Majka, Dori May Kelly, and Mike Magri each take delight in reflecting on their brief forays into film and its small cult following. Archival extras from the 2008 DVD release are also included: a making-of piece in which Thies and Frizzell riff on the movie for nearly 20 minutes; 13 minutes of deleted scenes; 10 minutes of footage shot on video that was later reshot on film (with an introduction by Thies and Frizzell); and a brief audio note from composer Michael Perilstein (The Deadly Spawn, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers).

Winterbeast is available now on Blu-ray as part of Home Grown Horrors: Volume One via Vinegar Syndrome.

[dweemeister]

Melody Time (1948)

Disengaged and disinterested, Walt Disney was adrift at his own studio in the late 1940s. The studio’s modestly-budgeted package animated features were designed to save it from financial ruin. Yet, they required artistic and storytelling compromises that Disney was loathe to make. In this period, Disney shuffled personnel around the various departments – whether due to personal conflicts or dissatisfaction with their artistic approach on a certain film. Melody Time’s segments are of varying quality and limited experimentation, reflecting the organizational tumult within the studio. No standout moment exists in Melody Time, even though it is more energetic and looser than the preceding Fun and Fancy Free (1947).

The modern Walt Disney Company has advertised Melody Time as a film, “in the grand tradition of Disney’s greatest musical classics, such as Fantasia.” Audacious comparison to make, but functionally inaccurate. Fantasia, as imagined by Walt Disney, Deems Taylor, Leopold Stokowski, and the studio’s animators, was crafted so that its animation would empower the music (in cinema, the reverse – where music serves the action on-screen – is almost always a filmmaker’s approach). The reverse of that relationships holds here. Melody Time contains these seven segments, or “mini-musicals”: “Once Upon a Wintertime”, “Bumble Boogie”, “The Legend of Johnny Appleseed”, “Little Toot”, “Trees”, “Blame It on the Samba”, and “Pecos Bill”. Some of these mini-musicals are more watchable and more artistically interesting than others – although that standard is relatively low in Melody Time.

“Once Upon a Wintertime” is based on an overused Disney narrative template that never ceases to be a bore. A young couple are out and about, flirting and flitting, all while the woodland animals scurrying back and forth mirror human courtship. The segment, however, is partially redeemed by Frances Langford singing the segment’s title song (composed by Bobby Worth and Ray Gilbert) and the unmistakable influence of Mary Blair (1950’s Cinderella, the “It’s a Small World” attraction at Disneyland in Anaheim) in its aesthetic. With any piece of animation involving Mary Blair, one can expect an eye-catching use of color and her modernist art style. “Once Upon a Wintertime” is like a holiday card brought to animated life. Unlike a picturesque and meaningful holiday card, though, it overstays its welcome. But the stereotypical treatment of the young women appearing in “Once Upon a Wintertime” is, to put it mildly, clichéd writing at best. Hackneyed, too, is the fact that the woodland animals come to the human’s rescue.

Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov’s Flight of the Bumblebee is one of the most recognizable (and overplayed) pieces of Western classical music, even to those folks who go out of their way to announce their distaste for classical music. Given a jazz rendition by the Freddy Martin Orchestra, “Bumble Boogie” is a thankfully brief three-minute foray. Here, an insect (that does not seem anything like a bee) flies through a series of surreal images – mostly parts of musical instruments (piano keys in particular) – that it must avoid. The segment is visually entertaining to watch, even if it must have been the easiest to prepare, design, and animated for in all of Melody Time. If placed in either Fantasia or Fantasia 2000, it would easily be the weakest Fantasia segment ever produced.

Third in the film is a segment that feels most like a classic Disney production. “The Legend of Johnny Appleseed” is Disney’s glorified and sanitized take on the eponymous American pioneer, nurseryman, conservationist, and missionary. Walt’s personal ideology and perspective on American history included the fulfillment of Manifest Destiny and the taming of the nation’s wilds as among humanity’s greatest achievements. These are notions that Walt – through his films, theme parks, television shows, and public and private remarks – never questioned. Narrated and with Johnny Appleseed voiced by Dennis Day, there is a sincerity to Johnny’s characterization not present anywhere else in the movie. Again, Mary Blair’s artwork – this time, her forested backgrounds – appears as if heaven-sent. The umbrella-like canopy of the apple trees and “untamed” forests are inviting, and attract one’s eyes upward – towards the apples, paradise.

The title song (sometimes referred to as “The Lord is Good to Me”) featured in the opening moments of “The Legend of Appleseed” is one of the earliest – and one of the few – mentions or depictions of religious faith in a Disney animated work. It reinforces the mythos that surrounds Johnny Appleseed (and, by extension, the belief that white men are divine heroes for civilizing the lands west of the original Thirteen Colonies) to the present day. I was not raised in any of the Abrahamic religions, but it difficult to deny the simple charm of the title song and this segment – even if it endorses a troublesome perspective on American history. “The Legend of Johnny Appleseed” is the best segment of Melody Time – from its unassuming storytelling and wondrous animation. It is the only Melody Time segment that I could possibly envision as a decent feature-length animated film.

Based on a 1939 children’s picture book of the same name Hardie Gramatky, “Little Toot” is a chore to sit through. The segment shares similar narrative and aesthetic tissue with Saludos Amigos’ (1942) “Pedro”, which concerned an anthropomorphic mail airplane that thinks it could. Along the Hudson River in New York City, Little Toot is a tiny tugboat who aspires to be like his father Big Toot. Just as in “Pedro”, this is a case of an anthropomorphized vehicle child who attempts to assume adult responsibility in order to prove that they can perform tasks as well as the adults can. Given that Little Toot is a meddling prankster playing tugboat games, it is difficult to feel much sympathy when he finally faces the consequences of his actions – which probably includes calamitous infrastructural damage and human casualties. Of course, Little Toot is eventually redeemed through some heroic deeds. All of the tugboats will love him, as they belt out with glee that Little Toot will go down in history. The segment is grating, including the novelty title song sung by The Andrews Sisters. Aside from some fascinating water effects, there is not much that “Little Toot” offers in the way of animated interest. Otherwise, it is least interesting segment of the film.

The palate-cleanser is “Trees”, a four-minute segment based on Joyce Kilmer’s poem of the same name (music composed by Oscar Rasbach and performed by Fred Waring and the Pennsylvanians). Its aesthetic harkens back to a few seconds near the end of the “Ave Maria” in Fantasia, but otherwise “Trees” is distinct from anything else that has appeared in the Disney animated canon. When setting to work on “Trees”, layout artist Ken O’Connor (1941’s Dumbo, 1987’s The Brave Little Toaster) found himself enamored by the concept art, and endeavored to be a faithful to the style set by the concept art as possible. To do this, O’Connor frosted cels before drawing pastel images onto the cel. Before being photographed by the studio’s multiplane camera, each cel was laminated in clear lacquer to prevent the pastel from smudging. Thanks to O’Connor’s experimentation, “Trees”, however fleeting, lays claim to some of the most beautiful animation among all of the package Disney animated features.

“Blame it on the Samba” sees a reunion of Donald Duck and Brazilian parrot José Carioca (Saludos Amigos, 1944’s The Three Caballeros) are walking about, depressed, directionless. Suddenly, they encounter the Aracuan Bird (who debuted in The Three Caballeros), who whisks them inside a cocktail that introduces them to the rhythmic pleasures of the samba. The segment’s title song is based on Ernesto Nazareth’s polka Apanhei-te, Cavaquinho, sung by The Dinning Sisters with adapted English lyrics, and accompanied by organist Ethel Smith (who appears as herself).

“Blame it on the Samba” feels like it should have been featured in either Saludos Amigos or The Three Caballeros – and that was the intention exactly. Intended to appear in Saludos Amigos, “Blame it on the Samba” was animated and completed in time for it to be incorporated in The Three Caballeros. Given Donald Duck’s lust for human women in the second half of the latter movie, “Blame it on the Samba” might have otherwise been a serviceable penultimate number in that film. The segment is an explosion of color, a kick in the rear for a movie that feels much longer than its seven-five-minute runtime might suggest. And yet in a segment for a music genre innovated in Brazil and popularized by Brazilians, the performers and the performance lack any discernible Brazilian influence or roots. This is not samba music. Instead, it is the culmination of what a white American might think samba music sounds like. This unfortunate development probably would have been avoided entirely if “Blame it on the Samba” appeared in those two aforementioned films instead.

“Pecos Bill”, based on the Texan folk hero of the same name, makes reference to American Indians in ghastly ways. Simultaneously, its absurd humor and lack of fidelity to sensible human behavior and physics make it a delight to watch. The segment also boasts the presence of Roy Rogers and the Pioneers (and Rogers’ horse, Trigger). Child actors Luana Patten and Bobby Driscoll, both of whom had just starred in Song of the South (1946), make brief appearances in the segment’s hybrid animation/live-action introduction. Rogers, then contracted to Republic Pictures, was one of the quintessential stars of the singing cowboy subgenre – singing cowboy movies were almost exclusively made by the “Poverty Row” studios including Republic, and they were extremely profitable against their barebones budgets). “Pecos Bill” all begins with the atmospheric, moody “Blue Shadows on the Trail”. “Blue Shadows on the Trail” describes and, through its spare instrumentation, reflects the emptiness and desolation of the American West. It is a beautiful ballad, and could easily be placed in any Western (singing cowboy movies or otherwise).

Once the hybrid animation/live-action introduction concludes, “Pecos Bill” steams forward with comic hyperbole followed by another comic hyperbole. The title song (music by Eliot Daniel, lyrics by Johnny Lange) doubles down on the exaggerations. Those exaggerations include the segment’s constant gunplay – escaping censorship from the Hays Code: a risqué gag that includes Pecos Bill’s guns going off because of love interest Slue Foot Sue. At least Melody Time ends brashly and riotously, but any impressionable children watching will require a discussion from a trusted adult. Its depictions of American Indians and men-women relations are deplorable, but after just over an hour of inconsistent quality, I found myself enjoying “Pecos Bill” more than I imagined.

Shortly after the release of Melody Time, Walt Disney embarked on a three-week cruise to Hawai’i. Walt rarely went vacationing, and he spent these weeks fully concentrating on his family and escaping from the minutiae of managing his studio. Even after returning from Hawai’i, Walt did not spend much time in Burbank. Walt invited animator and fellow train enthusiast Ward Kimball on a trip to the Midwest. Together, they attended the 1948 Chicago Railroad Fair, visited the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn, Michigan, and stopped at other locations close to Walt’s childhood in the Midwest. Through the end of 1948, Walt spent more time constructing the train set in his backyard than paying attention to the animation and live-action movies his studio was producing. What seemed like idleness to many (including New York Times film critic Bosley Crowther, who believed that Disney was a cinematic genius wasting his time on quixotic projects) was a major inspiration for a draft sketch entitled “Mickey Mouse Park”, dated August 31, 1948.

The package era at Walt Disney Productions (now Walt Disney Animation Studios) was nearing its end. Every film during this run – Saludos Amigos (1942), The Three Caballeros (1944), Make Mine Music (1946), Fun and Fancy Free (1947), Melody Time, and The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949) – faced the same narrative of Walt Disney’s personal indifference to the projects, a lack of direction and motivation among the animators, and audience and critic dissatisfaction when compared to Disney’s Golden Age movies. A return to non-package animated features would be imminent, in spite of Melody Time’s mediocre performance at the box office. The Disney studios would attempt to begin a period of renewal with a tradition that inaugurated their animated canon – with a fairy tale.

My rating: 6/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

[storms-path]

Day 23 – Soul

It was a cold and snowy night in Ishgard, which came as no surprise to Arashi as she stared out at the city below. The wintery chill didn’t bother her as much these days, not compared to her first few forays into the snow-covered lands. Besides which, her mind was focused on other matters. Such as the crystal clutched tightly in her hand. Once broken, now whole again. If only she could say the same for herself.

For where else could I go? Who else could I love but you? Myste’s final words rang in her head still, words which were supposed to give her peace. An earnest attempt from a well-meaning part of her, however misguided. A soul who just wanted the suffering to end, for her and her former foes. If only it were so simple. Zenos awaited still, the hunter inviting the bloodthirsty beast into his lair for the final hunt to begin. A hunt only one of them would walk away from.

“Well, there’s a sight for sore eyes!” A familiar voice cut through the night air, full of warmth and gentle surprise. Arashi turned from the railings to see Edmont de Fortemps making his way towards her, a fatherly smile on his face. “I must say, with all the excitement in Ala Mhigo, I hardly expected to see you here of all places!” Arashi gave him a weak smile in return, inviting him with a gesture to join her at the overlook. Cane in hand, Edmont graciously accepted.

“I had some errands I needed to run before the climax,” Arashi answered as Edmont leaned his cane against the railings. Edmont raised a curious eyebrow, but said nothing. A small blessing. Arashi had no idea how she’d explain Myste to the former count. Or Sid. Or Rielle. And especially not Fray…

“Well, I wish you luck with them, whatever they may be.” Edmont’s face creased into a worried frown. “And with what’s to come. Aymeric briefed me a little on your foe before he and Lucia left for Ishgard. I’ve known men like Zenos before. Men who throw their entire being into the thrill of battle.” Edmont shook his head, his eyes taking on a faraway look as he briefly walked in his memories. “A lifetime of fighting does terrible things to a man’s soul.”

Arashi nodded, clutching her soul crystal a little tighter. Edmont clapped a hand on her shoulder, heedless of the heavy armour she wore. “Don’t worry, my girl. You couldn’t be a further cry from men like that if you tried. You fight to protect. Yourself, others, the world. You fight with a purpose in mind. So long as you hold to those ideals, you’ll never end up a beast.”

Edmont’s words cut through Arashi’s doubts like a finely honed blade, the easy sincerity of his tone making clear his love and admiration of the fabled Warrior of Light. Suddenly Edmont went from clearly visible to a blurry mess as Arashi pulled the elderly elezen into a sudden, weeping hug. Edmont’s arms were around her in an instant, fatherly instincts taking hold. All of the pent-up emotions, the guilt, the fear, the hate, all were drawn into the light and set free, stolen away by the night’s chill wind. Arashi felt a slight wetness on her own shoulder, but she said nothing. Words weren’t necessary. Just release.

Eventually the pair parted, Arashi messily wiping away her tears with a gauntleted hand. Edmont chuckled at her utter lack of decorum, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbing at his eyes. “Sorry,” murmured Arashi with all of the remorse she didn’t feel. Edmont wave her off with another smile.

“Think nothing of it, my girl.” Edmont turned to look out into the yawning darkness. “Truth be told, I’m just happy to be of some use in my old age.” Once again his eyes took on a distant look, though from the way his lips curled upwards, Arashi suspected the memories were a good bit happier this time. “Once a father, always a father, as they say.” Edmont turned back to face Arashi. “You know you will always be accepted here,” he said. “No matter what may befall you, Fortemps manor will have its doors open to welcome you home with open arms.”

Another hug and several more minutes of crying later, Arashi broke away with a heartfelt smile. “Thank you,” she whispered, voice hoarse from all the tears.

The pair spoke for some time longer, matters turning to less serious matters as the night melted away, but neither of them turned to look behind them. If they had, they might have seen out of the corner of their eye the two figures that watched on, both silver-haired and both with smiles full of love and relief. Then blew in another flurry of snow, and the pair were gone with the wind.

[autumnslance]

FFXIV Write 2020 #8: Clamor

((End of ARR 2.0))

There was just so much noise.

Soldiers talking and laughing, the Scions conversing with the trio of Company leaders, the Ironworks crew setting up fireworks for when the sun sank beyond Silvertear’s western shore.

And Aeryn was stuck in the middle of all of it.

Someone had put a drink in her hand, the Maelstrom mess tents doling out beverages and food freely. She was certain at this point that she had been approached by every officer in each Company, all of them gushing about the battles and her defeating Baelsar and his infernal machine while surviving the devastation of Meridianum, whilst saving her comrade yet.

Aeryn mostly nodded, shrugged, and said as little as possible, as was her wont. She had told Minfilia, the other Scions, and the leaders the details, falling into a similar storyteller mode as the old bard Jehantel when he was reminiscing about difficult things. It was easiest that way, to tell them of the battle against the Ultima Weapon, Hydaelyn’s intervention, Lahabrea’s defeat…

The sounds of the crowd merged together, a cacophonous background sound as her temples throbbed. A voice called to her--but that wasn’t her name. She couldn’t quite hear it properly, as the now-familiar pull of the Echo clutched at her. The impression of the voice, of the name it spoke, was familiar enough that it could have, should have been recognizable to her but it wasn’t why was—

It was not Hydaelyn calling to her.

The darkened Crystal filled her vision, His voice hammering her ears, reverberating along her pulse, calling to her by a name she did not recognize but knew was her own if only she could comprehend, could hear Him, but the rush of primal sound was too much and she pushed away as His susurrant call tried to pull her closer…

“Aeryn!”

Her head jerked up, blinking away the bright sunlight reflecting off the rocky ground and smooth lake waters. Somewhere to her left was a raucous burst of laughter and she jumped again.

“Are you all right?”

A hand on her elbow. She looked to her right finally and tried not to recoil from Thancred’s concerned expression.

Part of her still expected the Ascian.

The pained flash in his brown eyes--he’d noted her aborted flinch anyway--was quickly masked by his ever-charming smile. “Forgive my intrusion,” he said, dropping his hand from her arm. “But you look as overwhelmed as I feel.”

Aeryn nodded, and took a swallow of her drink. She had been nursing it for quite some time, and it had grown warm and bitter as she neared the dregs. She grimaced and poured the remainder out while Thancred chuckled.

“Judging by that face, you’re quite finished with the party,” he said. “Care for an excuse to leave?”

“Please,” she managed to say, meeting his eyes with no reservation this time.

“Well then. Now that the main event is over, I have been ordered by the Elder Seedseer herself to return to my rest. I’ll miss the Ironworks’ pyrotechnic display; it’s really quite unfair.” He sighed and shrugged expansively. “However, if you’d like to escort me back to our tents to ensure that I do as I am told, I’m sure no one will begrudge you that.” He grinned conspiratorially.

Aeryn nodded again, and after a moment’s thought, offered an arm. Thancred laughed, taking it--though as they made their way through the crowd, it was hard to say who was supporting who; she still felt far more out of sorts than at any moment since finally escaping the burning Praetorium and collapsing into sleep soon after, surrounded by the Scions as they awaited Thancred’s own waking...

“It shouldn’t be any wonder you’re tired,” he said conversationally, once the worst of the noise was behind them. The Company camps formed a colorful little village in this meadow of ruined Mor Dhona, the Scions’ own small cluster of tents nearly swallowed in a space between the Flames and the Adders, though they had to wend past some of the invited Free Companies to get there. “You’ve been through much and more this past...while.” He paused. “I’m sorry.”

She gave him one of her questioning looks. He glanced at her from the side of his eye, then sighed. “For...everything that happened, it’s all my own fault—”

“I almost killed you,” she blurted, squeezing his arm. “I thought I might have to, because of—” she shook her head. “That was all Lahabrea. Not you.” She frowned and looked away. “I should have realized it wasn’t you sooner.”

He barked out a laugh. “My dear, even my oldest, closest comrades didn’t realize I wasn’t myself!” The bitterness and barely suppressed anger were not hard to miss, even without the sensitivity of her Echo. He covered his feelings with a smile again and patted her hand. “You barely know me in comparison; in all honesty, you couldn’t be expected to notice.”

“You’d think this Echo would be more useful for that,” Aeryn said. “But it seems...sporadic.”

“So I’ve heard,” he said wryly. “Minfilia has shared her own frustrations with me a few times. So I’m no stranger to hearing about it--if needed.”

“...Maybe,” she replied. Then said, “I’m sorry.”

“For?” He stopped. It took her a moment to realize they had made it to the Scion camp.

“For the almost-killing you part,” she said, looking down at his sandals.

Thancred cautiously tucked a single knuckle under her chin, making her look back up. “I could say the same to you,” he said in that quiet, sincere voice he seemed to save for special occasions, his eyes steadily watching her. “So let us call it even, shall we?”

She frowned; it wasn’t even, not nearly--he hadn’t been in control, a pawn of that monster. But she met his gaze and nodded anyway.

He dropped his hand again and gestured around, his gregarious persona returning just as quickly as it had been shed. “Now I believe I am, in fact, going to find my cot and drop into it for the evening--brief as my foray back into society was, I am exhausted.”

Aeryn was about to say goodbye--but the memory of the dark Crystal blinked across her vision, the impression of words she couldn’t quite comprehend throbbing in her heart.

As if He were waiting for her to be alone, to call to her again.

“I’d best make sure you behave,” she found herself saying, noting his eyebrow arching. “I want to do some writing in any case; that shouldn’t bother you while resting.”

“No. Despite my weariness, however, I might not fall asleep right away and shall likely be the one distracting you.”

Aeryn shrugged. “A risk I shall have to take. Though if it comes to it,” she grinned. “I do know a sleep spell now.”

He blinked, and then laughed. “You have been busy while I was...indisposed. Very well, my lady; let us see this fiction to completion then, and both take our rest away from the crowds.”

She was reminded of that sandstorm on the way to Drybone, and the shelter they had taken; it seemed so long ago now, since they had conversed without pretense or expectation that night. Instead of the roar of sand and wind, it was the celebratory crowd they shut out, finding a moment of companionable peace after all they had been through.

[threelivesthreeworlds]

Donghua and Feng Jiu’s Relationship at the end of the book, how Fate Really Hates Them, and how it is Also A Little Bit Their Fault (with Citations, because My Main Schtick is Translating, ok)

Wow, it’s me, your friendly neighborhood fate enthusiast Admin Ro, here to comb through Donghua and Feng Jiu’s complicated choose your own fate adventure. This gets long, so it’s getting put under a read more! If you don’t want to read all of it, please at least read the last 4-ish paragraphs. 

First, a brief foray into fate as it ties into Buddhist beliefs. Pillow Book is a Xianxia, and therefore draws on Taoist and Buddhist influence by nature of its references. 缘分 (yuan fen) in chinese, translates closest to “fateful coincidence.” Yuan is this concept of fateful coincidence to meet other people, circumstances, et cetera - i.e.,  being in the right place at the right time to do something or to meet someone. Fen, on the other hand, is the real tangible destiny of being able to hold on to that person/do something right or wrong/etc. once you’ve met them / done that something you were in the right place to do. Thus one could also describe a couple who are fated to meet but not to stay together as a couple that has fate without destiny (有缘无份). 

Donghua and Feng Jiu, originally, were fated never to meet. So to speak, they had no yuan. Their fate was created when Feng Jiu decided to repay her debt to Donghua by taking half her shadow to create Aranya for Donghua’s shadow, Shen Ye. When Donghua asked for the Fate Stone, the Keeper of the Fate Stone told him about how Su Moye disrupted the fate of Shen Ye and Aranya, and how then the remaining fate between Aranya and Shen Ye was transferred from the shadows to the real people:

The old God said: "There are two perspectives to every matter, and one shouldn't discuss it only along from one perspective. Even if it was a sin here, it may be an achievement elsewhere. You shouldn't be so hung up on it. If we were only speaking of this, Dijun should thank you." He sighed. "The Fate Stone tied the remaining fate of the two shadows, who can have no next life, to Dijun and the Little Highness, and so there was the true meeting between the Little Highness and Dijun later. Without it, Dijun and the Little Highness have a fate to never meet in their lives."

However, Donghua asking to see the Fate Stone meant it would have to be rewritten. There was no telling if the fact that he asked after his fate with Feng Jiu was going to make their fate go a bad direction:

"Dijun and the Little Highness now count as having fate, but since Dijun has asked, tomorrow the Fate Stone must be rewritten, and whether or not Dijun or the Little Highness will have fate in the future, I can no longer tell. But I think it would be a pity if this weak fate which had not been easily come by was dissipated because Dijun asked after it."

Donghua said lightly. "So what if the heavens say we are fated? So what if we're not? I have never been afraid of destiny, and I don't need its generosity."

Donghua operates as if they have severely weak fate/his inquiry into it has messed up their fate, despite not really knowing what happens to their fate from that point on. He attempts to preserve this fate at every turn in the ways he knows how, for example, erasing her memory of him pretending to be Xize in Aranya’s Realm so she wouldn’t be mad at him:

Dijun lifted his hand to rub his forehead: "I called for the Fate Stone. The Fate Stone said our fate was weak and can't take much jeopardizing. Xiao Bai has always been....conflicted, when it comes to me. If I let her remember that I lied to her in Aranya's Dream right now, who knows what will come out of it? Only on this, I'll take no risks. I thought this was the best way."

Donghua doesn’t trust Feng Jiu to be able to forgive him, and instead of being honest and open with her, chooses to lie in order to “preserve their fate.” However - this comes back to bite him in the ass later. Donghua misses he and Feng Jiu’s wedding because he went to save Ji Heng, who was dying from poison. Though he wrote two letters, one for Chonglin and Feng Jiu’s mother, who were running the wedding, and one for Feng Jiu, explaining what happened and what he was doing, these letters never arrived. Yan Chiwu was supposed to run them to their intended recipients, but he encountered an old enemy and got knocked out for half a month on the way. After six or seven days of purifying the poison, he was on his way to Qingqiu when the seal on Miaoyi Chasm broke, and he had to go fix it.

Feng Jiu didn’t know what was going on - except at this time, she found out that her memories had been messed with and rewritten by Donghua: 

Zhe Yan’s new pill was sent over the next day, and when the real memories were reintegrated into her mind, she was not as violently moved as she expected to be. Probably too tired.

She finally remembered that Dijun never told her why he switched out her pimpon fruit. Then, Ji Heng said she wanted it, and he gave it to her. He said there was nothing between him and Ji Heng, but how he treated Ji Heng differently from everyone, she could see clearly. She finally had the time to think about everything.

The series of coincidences that kept Donghua from going to Qingqiu to look for her until seventy three days later may have been fate, but what made her leave in the end was all Donghua. In the memories rewritten by Donghua, he explained everything to do with Ji Heng. However, he didn’t really, and when Feng Jiu found out those memories were fake she doubted even more the sincerity of everything he had ever said to her, every assurance he had ever made her. This led her to leave, as she was tired of being messed with. Later, when Donghua tries to explain, you can see that she doesn’t remotely trust what he has to say:

She said softly: "You didn't make it to the wedding. I was so anxious that something happened to you. And then, Grandfather said you and..." She paused, like she didn't want to mention the name, and continued. "It's not that I believe what anyone says. I was waiting for you to come back, to explain to me. If you said anything, I would've believed you. If you came back then and said to me that no one was more important than me, I would've believed you, but now..."

He closed his eyes. "Xiao Bai..."

She shook her head and smiled, interrupting him. "When I was waiting for you at Qingqiu, sometimes I thought, you said so many things to me - what was real, and what was fake? But it was only after that I knew - there was no use considering it. After all, even the memories in my head had been rewritten."

Feng Jiu’s breaking point wasn’t that Donghua left her to go to Ji Heng. Granted, Feng Jiu always thought Ji Heng meant more to Donghua than she really did. Feng Jiu has been chasing Donghua for so long without him reciprocating her feelings that she habitually expects to be rejected. Her self-awareness and self-deprecation at certain parts leads her to believe that because she’s not the strongest/smartest/most ladylike/etc. that it’s very natural Donghua might like Other Women more than he likes her. 

However, as one can see from the text above, she was willing to believe there had to be a reason he couldn’t be there at the wedding and was prepared to wait for him to come back and explain. But then, she found out that he had replaced her memories. Feng Jiu’s breaking point was that he messed with even her memories, and therefore she couldn’t trust anything he said or did.

In conclusion, the question becomes: was their rocky relationship at the end of the book due to fate or through their own communication issues? And the answer is maybe - a little bit of both. Feng Jiu assumes without talking to Donghua that she knows what’s going on. She assumes he doesn’t love her as much as she hopes he does and that he messed with her memories simply because he can. Had she stayed to talk to him, she may have found out that Donghua had done it because he thought it would preserve their fate. Now, that wouldn’t make it any better of a thing to do, but at least it wouldn’t be for the reasons Feng Jiu thought of. 

On the other hand, Donghua’s habitual ruthlessness when it comes to dealing with matters he wanted done right and the fact that he didn’t trust Feng Jiu to be able to handle the truth led him to lie to her to preserve their relationship, but only made her even more doubtful of the sincerity of his feelings. Had he been open and honest from the get go and simply explained and apologized for his past behavior, perhaps Feng Jiu would have stuck out the 73 days he was away when he missed their wedding to listen to him instead of leaving for 200 years.

The circumstances were bad enough, but the already present issues in their relationship compounded on the circumstances to make everything worse, and so they missed each other for two hundred years and almost missed each other for life, when Donghua went to his death in the starlight ward.

[nichester]

I just saw your post. I loved this movie since I was a kid but that ending was so wild it confused me. I kept wondering if she lived or not. Thank you your analysis really helped me understand it. What do you have to say about Jade Fox and Lo Dark Cloud?

Hi again! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading all of that mess! I really enjoy talking about this film so thank you for giving me a platform lol

I think I'll answer this in two parts since the two characters don't overlap much. I'll start with my thoughts on Lo and his romance with Jen, and then I'll make a separate post to talk about Jade Fox.

You may have seen me making fun of my sister in the tags on some of the Lo/Jen posts for loving that ship so much, but the truth is that I also love them. I think the actor and actress have great chemistry, and the crazy first meeting really works for Jen as her character has been established (impulsive, arrogant, and filled with rage). However, I don't think Jen actually falls in love with Lo. Or at least I don't think she's still in love with him by the time the movie starts, and here's why.

As the audience, when we're watching the movie and we're coming out of that intense flashback filled with the knowledge of their passionate affair in the desert, it can be hard to understand what Jen is thinking in the present day. If they were so in love, why doesn't she just run away with him like he is asking her to? Given what we know about Jen's character at this point, it’s impossible to believe that she really intends to go through with her marriage and live a quiet life. Their brief few weeks in the desert is the only time in the movie thus far that Jen seems to be free of the simmering hurt and rage that she carries at all times, so why wouldn’t she want to return to that? I think that it all comes back to this idea of social roles, and Jen's need to break free of them.

When Lo says that he wants her to go back to her father so that he can get a job and woo her "properly," I think there's no way Jen could see that as anything other than a betrayal. For her, the realization is that even Lo--who she thought of as a way to escape--will ultimately let her down by seeking to force her back into a structured and expected way of life. I think that this betrayal breaks whatever bond she felt with him, and leaves her feeling even more desperate than she was when she met him. She believed for a short time that she was free of the rigidity of her social position, only to realize that even this man would eventually try to take that freedom away from her. Whether she is conscious of it or not, I think that she stops trusting Lo and the desert at that moment.

When Lo comes back to ask her to run away with him, she refuses because she knows* that she can't trust him. Even at the very end of the movie, he's the one who wishes to be back in the desert together, not her. The desert and Lo can't give her what she wants--something I don't think she would even be able to articulate--but which would mean true freedom.

(Also, you know that thing where it feels bitter to be allowed to do whatever you want? Because you know that your “freedom” is contingent on the person who holds the real power being generous? And even if they would never ever take it away from you, the fact that they can take it away if they wanted to means that it’s not really yours at all? Anyway I don’t think Jen could ever be with a man even if she loved him.)

tl;dr Men will always let u down

*I say knows because she clearly feels very certain about this, not because I think it's necessarily the truth. I do think Lo is sincere in his desire to run away together! I think that his brief foray into the civilized world has brought him to the same point of despair and anger that Jen is in. He experiences firsthand the truth: he cannot ever fit into society or be accepted by it without sacrificing part of himself. I think when he comes back he is actually much more able to understand Jen’s point of view than he was when they first met, but I think the betrayal felt so great that she would never trust him the same way again.

[cadcnce-archived]

“ Tch. Well - Don’t sleep too long. I do like gossiping with you, after all. ” After speaking, she pauses to nestle in a little deeper into his clutch. The security of his grip was assuring, very assuring. She didn’t want to admit it, but she felt like she could sleep like this, too. She wouldn’t, though. The wagon still had a few more hours to go before they reached their destination, back home. “ Try not to snore too loudly, or I’ll plug your nose. ” A last little playful warning before he would, as he stated, fall asleep. It started off peaceful, quiet, the gentle bumps in the road never being too much to handle. It wasn’t until the dreams started to settle in that it went from a peaceful, fitful sleep into something much, much more grimdark.

_______________________________________________

Wylan startles himself awake within a dark cavern. Water drips down slowly and methodically from the ceiling, filling the cavern with a sense of unease. At first, it is too hard to see anything. He could barely make out the walls of the cavern at all, barely even make out his own arms and legs because the darkness was just so encompassing it blinded everything but the immediate air around him.

When he tries to move, he would find that his arms and legs had all been bound against the hard rock beneath him. Metal braces pinned to the ground with metallic stakes, with short chains keeping his arms and legs against the rocky formation. It was only then did he realize he wasn’t on the floor at all. He was bound against the wall, hung there like a prisoner and kept aloft by the chains bound against his sore wrists and ankles. 

The dripping of the water overhead became even louder. That’s when it became clear that the dripping wasn’t water. It wasn’t water at all. It was blood. But it wasn’t his blood.

The darkness fades away even more - ahead of him, he could see someone else, bound to the other side of the cave in a much similar fashion as he. A pink-haired girl, head down, arms hanging above her head, blood smearing her face, her clothes, and dripping off of her shoes and onto the floor alone. If he dared looked down, the river of blood that had poured from her body was soaking in a field of dying red blossoms - all of which were being overlooked by men who wore dark, black gowns with cowls that hid their faces. In their hands, they carried dark books, each of which were opened to their faces, chanted to as if they were summoning a demon. The swirling gibberish of their words is lost in the haze of death and decay surrounding him.

Among them was a single voice - a voice he hated. A voice he was familiar with. A woman who stood beyond them all, chanting with them, in solidarity. The dark-haired, long-gowned woman slowly turned around so that her face was visible to Wylan’s.

It was Eris’s face. So gentle, so sincere, so pure - and all of it was accompanied by the presence of a disgusting smear of rotten blood and gore that drenched the entire front half of her body. 

“ Wylan…? ” She would speak, so quietly, so softly, approaching him with her hands out, wide and open, as if preparing to hug him. “ Why didn’t you save her, Wylan? You were so attached, yet you left her to die? ”

Wylan. Wylan. Wylan. His name echoed, repeated by the cultists around her. She continues approaching him, stepping onto what seemed to be some form of invisible footstep. Every step she took toward him started to change her appearance more and more. She was taking on the appearance of Ram. “ Why didn’t you save me, Wylan? ”

Wylan. Wylan. Wylan.

The air grows colder as she reaches forward. Her hands were so much like Ram’s.

Wylan…. Wylan… Wylan…

 She reaches forward, to touch his face,  with her blood-smeared hands. Her pink eyes held so much greyness to them now. They were not Ram’s own.

Wylan… Wylan!

_______________________________________________

“ Wylan! ”

He’d wake up with a start as Ram struggled in his grip. His hold on her had become tight, tight, tighter, almost to the point of squeezing the everliving daylights out of her. She felt a wetness from his face his the top of her head, soaking into her hair. “ You’re squishing me! Wylan! ”

When she finally comes free from his grip, she takes a second to look behind her and at his face – and she can see the terror in his eyes. Her aggravation almost immediately dies down, replaced instead with outright concern. “ I– Wylan… what happened? Are you feeling well..? ”

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, he’s of a mind to tell her that plugging his nose isn’t the right way to go about ceasing his snoring, but he’s more of a mind to sleep and relax. He hadn’t captured much the previous night for one reason or another when he and Ram were out travelling. This was a good chance before he went into recording and charting out what they had learned as a result of their latest foray. Was it too soon to think they were making progress? Maybe... but for now.... he lets himself drift, savoring the warmth of the pink haired maiden and her heart beating so close to his.

............

                       ...............city noises....... people laughing.......... a vague sense of holding a hand...

                                        .............”I’ll keep supporting you, Ze.”

              .........”You’re making a mistake. This place is good for you... we can...”

                                                    “Come home safely, ok sweety?”

                      .......................

Wylan’s dreams followed typical patterns. Reminding him of his missteps. Reminding him of what he’d left behind and what he could no longer have again. First it was the order. Then it was his family. Then it was his honor. These things weren’t easily forsaken, and yet he’d done them in childish fits of anger. His uncertainty and sense of purpose broken and leading him further astray for what must be a better answer.

There’s no point in fighting these dreams. They’re sensations he burns as fuel in the fire to keep him going. If he can’t turn back, what choice does he have but to move forward and keep searching? Something to make him feel alive again. Something to make him feel like he has meaning again. But now that his sister was gone it felt like the rock in his life, the last bastion of a home and family had gone away. He never really changed did he? Look at him, on a death march for revenge driven by grief.

It’s no wonder that he--

The dream breaks as quickly as someone tearing away a sheet from a bed. One moment he’s sinking and ephemerally experiencing his mistakes, the next he was in a cave. Somewhere dark. Somewhere he didn’t recognize. It only takes a single moment, a single taste of that darkness to know this wasn’t his dream anymore. It was hers. He feels the restraints on his arms and legs as soon as he realizes he’s strung up, and he knows better than to fight against them. Knows better than to expect anything other than--

Drip. Drip. Drip.

The darkness fades further back around him, he’s not alone in this chamber. It only takes a brief moment for the other figure across to come into focus that he knows what he’s going to see. What they were trying to do. It was like--

“FUCK!!!” He can’t hold his gaze on the sight of Ram for more than the moment to recognize what he saw and the state of her body. His guts already were starting to rebel. It’s not really her. This isn’t real. She’s in your arms and you’re keeping her safe. You’ve involved he-- Fuck. Fuck!! You’ve fucking involved her, now! But how the fuck did Eris know?!

He doesn’t need to regard the cultists or the dying red blossoms with more than a glance. The pathetic attempt at being symbolic wouldn’t move him in any way. The cleric didn’t even use cultists. Seeing Ram was-- 

He hisses his breath, trying to keep himself calm. She’s coming. She’s coming. He doesn’t need to open his eyes to know that she’s looking at him, that she’s down there. He doesn’t need to, and yet he’s compelled to open his eyes. An errant glimpse of Ram chokes him up again before he settles his gaze down on the archbishop herself. Smiling her sweet smile with her serene gaze. The one she gets in return is steel. Molten and hot with tempered rage glowing hotter as she approaches him with rotten honeyed words.

She keeps talking, and he keeps watching. A cacophony of emotions run through his veins and his lips as they twitch and snarl at her. But his eyes remain fixed. She talks and she questions. And he watches. He stares and he bores his gaze into her. Rhetorical questions of lies she tries to seed into his psyche. She doesn’t know him. She doesn’t know who he is aside from what she’s straining from his errant thoughts and what she gleamed from his sister.

He wonders- If Katelynn warned her. He wonders- If she knows why his sister didn’t spend more time with him. He wonders- If she knew that Katelynn had been scared of him. If--

She’s changing her appearance, and perhaps she finally manages to shake him as the telltale features of Ram take the place of the cleric’s. Yet her voice stayed the same, buzzing in his head like hornets. Her hand reaches out to touch him with Ram’s blood. He looks ready to vomit at the thought of having to be in contact with this wretch of a being. To have the gall to take on her appearance, speaking as if she could grasp the depth of his intentions. How far he was going to go for this.

Eris knows nothing about the man she was dealing with if she’s asking those questions of him. She has nothing on him but haunting images of the people he cares about. Show him his sister. Show him Ram. Bring tears to his face. Make him bleed and feel all the pain. Make him scream again with her despair.

It’s changing nothing.

“I’m coming for you, Eris...”

---------------------------------------------------------

He’s wakened by Ram’s voice, and perhaps just in time realizing how hard his body had been tensing and squeezing against hers. He lets it go, lets out the tension and gasps for air as he collapses back against the wall of the carriage with sweat pouring down his face. Deep breaths. Don’t lose control and hyperventilate like some pickled idiot. Instinctively he brings his hold back onto Ram, holding her closer to his chest and sighing heavily into her hair. Soft and sweet. Still alive. He lets his eyes close momentarily, though Ram could certainly feel him twitching. Something was very wrong with what had just happened. And yet Wylan doesn’t seem upset about it.

Not like last time.

“....another dream with her. ...We’re on the right track. We’re getting closer.”

He wouldn’t be letting go of Ram for the rest of the day.

[altiorasemper]

baddestdangerboy  liked for an IsolaFES starter!

The depths of Fibonacci never much interested him. What self-respecting avatar of the Vast would willingly venture into a giant pit in the ground? Especially so if said avatar was Buried himself not that long ago. But one of the newly added summer attractions interested him enough to make a (very brief) foray below ground.

Not that skating was much fun for him either. A few shaky strides away from the starting point he simply sat down on the railing and swayed back and forth slightly, feeding on the crumbs of fear from anyone who got too near the railing and dared to look down. It wasn’t much, but since he can’t exactly hunt for victims freely in his weakened state, it was the most he could get. And whenever feeding got too boring, Mike would tilt himself back and enjoy the brief fall from the edge of the colourful track. Now that was decent entertainment, even if it was too quickly interrupted by the drones who, by the fifth time he did that, were starting to sound almost annoyed. On the sixth time they set him down, none too gently, square in the middle of the track, almost in the way of another person.

He sighs and offers a small smile to the stranger.

“Ah, my bad. I don’t think they like me doing that much.”

[thecarmillacurator]

Season of Love movie review and news for new Natasha Negovanlis movie.

So two things: First, Carmilla’s own Natasha Negovanlis will be in Tello Film’s 2020 Holiday Movie, “I Hate New Year’s.” Woot woot!  Check out Tello’s twitter (https://twitter.com/tellofilms) for more information.

Hey @tellofilms​ may we have an Elise Bauman cameo, pretty please? Or Kaitlyn Alexander? Or Sharon Belle? Or Anne Briggs? You get our point. You’ll get a built-in Creampuff bank of pre-purchasers and free social media marketers for your trouble, guaranteed.

Second: Season of Love. I rented Tello’s Season of Love Holiday film online yesterday and greatly enjoyed it. I’m not a Hallmark Holiday movie kind of lady, but this definitely had more gravitas than I see in Hallmark movies, and in my opinion to call it a ‘Lesbian Hallmark Movie’ would be unfair to the film. It’s simply more elevated than that.  I even liked it enough that I’ll be re-watching it today. For my in-depth review, click to go beneath the cut below.

What I liked: The couples had chemistry ranging from good to really good. (There’s no Hollstein-level chemistry here, but that would be asking too much for mere mortals, wouldn’t it? Just kidding.)  I enjoyed the romantic arcs. It was a romantic comedy, but wasn’t all the typical Christmas fru-fru (though it was still a lot).

Couple #1: Mardou and Iris. Mardou (Laur Allen)’s performance was especially well done, and the character had more engaging subtly than you typically see in  Holiday movies. For you to understand that Mardou has been in love with Iris (Emily Goss) for years but has been exercising mature and caring restraint to not show it, to carry the movie, the role *had* to be portrayed with not just body language, but with sincere facial expression, especially with the eyes. Props here go also to choices made by the writers and execution by the director relating to the actors’ interactions and positioning.  Iris’ performance was almost as good. I say “almost” because while the story gives Mardou a very serious, almost tragic role, Iris’ role shoulders lower levels of comedy in addition to the serious undertones of what her character is going through. This is accomplished through physical humor and situational levity (often related to depression-related awkwardness) with brief forays into the ‘useless lesbian’ brand of awkwardness. (One scene is *truly* a laugh out loud moment, and Emily Goss’ facial and body performance here was right on point. I had to pause the film just to finish laughing, and then watched the moment twice more just for fun.)

Couple #2: Lou and Kenna. The arc between the brewery owner, Lou (Jessica Clark), and welder, Kenna (Sandra Mae Frank), was a super cute idea in theory, and was actually super cute in terms of how it was carried off, though it needed more situational authenticity. This arc gets plenty of laugh moments, as that’s its primary role in the plot. Lou is beyond adorably clumsy. The filming/artistic decisions relating to how Lou sees Kenna in various supermodel-esque mini-shots are cringe-worthily hilarious. The mix-in fact that Kenna is deaf and Lou has to figure out how to navigate this is both heartwarming, because it brings in something society generally sees as a disability and again, the basis for a good part of the humor. The actors have good chemistry together. The height difference is again, ‘super cute.’ Lou’s blatant pining and angsty awkwardness is both relatable and charming. Kenna is fun. Her roommate is also fun.

My nitpick: (Nitpick? Maybe just disappointment over a missed opportunity...) This arc is where the film slips into a Holiday movie trap of not being authentic to setting. The reason this is a real shame is because both brewing and welding, combined into female love interests, is a hot idea for a wlw story. And so I wanted to see an actual female welder and a female brewer, rather than just pretty people given the titles.  I know enough about brewing from watching documentary shows, visiting breweries, and doing my own research (I’m a long ways into a WIP of my own that involves a brewery and a brewmaster incidental as a sub-plot to my main plot) to see that Lou is a brewery owner only in name only, with no real development given here, nor attempt to make it look or feel real. The same goes for the welder: I’ve never welded, but my father has, and I grew up with a fair bit of rag-tag rural living and was around equipment and welders enough in my early life to know that nothing about the way Kenna is portrayed makes her being a welder authentic.

I give this arc a thumbs up. It’s just... it could have been amazing instead of simply good.

Couple #3: Janey and Sue. The final arc is between Janey (Janelle Marie) and Sue (Waverly Earp Dominique Provost-Chalkley). They’ve been on-again-off-again sweethearts since high school, but life keeps getting in the way. Janey is in the military and Sue is a musician with performance anxiety related to singing in public. She also has a recently-ill mother, and finances are tight. This arc has some sweet elements, and the actors are cute together. I’ve not yet entered into the Waverly kingdom of fangirling, but Dominique is definitely a talented actress and plays the role perfectly: It’s impossible not to be engaged with Sue’s emotions and experiences through Dominique’s expression of her.

There are some bittersweet notes throughout this arc, and it is by far the most complex relationship of the movie even though it is secondary or tertiary in the film. In reality, it could have been the most impressive of the three stories, if the film had given it an ending that was realistic relative to Sue’s particular brand of anxiety. (Spoiler: They didn’t. Here is the one truly glaring point where the movie falls prey to the Holiday movie curse: Something unrealistic happens, essentially an invisible fairy-plot mother waves a magic wand behind the scenes and a personal struggle for Sue that shouldn’t be overcome so easily- if at all- suddenly is.) It would have been more powerful if Sue’s arc had ended without the typical holiday triumph in the ‘resolution’ stage that follows the narrative ‘crisis,’ and instead used the ‘crisis’ stage as a springboard for Janey and Sue to grow through the realities of her anxiety together, coming to a deeper understanding of the other, and maturing their love.

Music Bonus: The song Sue/Dominque plays at the end is fabulous! I would buy it on iTunes in a heartbeat if it were available. (It’s not. A big ‘why not’ aimed squarely @tellofilms​.)  There’s a music video on Tello, which you can see (but it might be pay to access). There’s a version on youtube, but be ware that whoever put it up isn’t officially related to the film or the song/song writer/performer and their transcription of the lyrics is off in several places.  With how incredibly well Dominique sings, it would be great to see her reunite for a song with Natasha Negovalis (previously together in the Carmilla Movie, 2017) in Tello’s future 2020 Holiday film, since it will be about a music star.

In conclusion: The stories were decently solid, and were definitely enjoyable.  There’s plenty of kissing scenes ultimately, so there’s payoff. It’s sweet. It’s cute. It is all HEA. There was humor mixed in throughout. It could have handled a higher production value, as sometimes between sets and sound, you can tell it’s not quite up to a movie theater release standard. It would be nice to see it not be every one of them all perfect-looking people. But, that being said, it does well.  While well above the typical Hallmark holiday standard (for me, anyway), there were places where the stories could have taken on a bit more depth. (Oh: Just to warn you: There was one bizarre moment in the middle at a Christmas party with an encounter that felt out of the blue, didn’t make sense given who was theoretically invited to the party, and jerked me hard out of the viewing experience. Also, I suppose it could be a trigger for some people, though it’s relatively mild. I understand the point they were trying to make, and agree with it, but it did not belong in this movie, or at least in this scene.) 

If you have the $6.99 spare to do the digital three-day rental, or $14.99 to purchase (I rented but will probably go back and purchase as well), head over to @tellofilms​ and take the risk. It’ll be a holiday pick of mine for years to come.

Please watch it if you’re so inclined! Doing so will hopefully brighten your day, and will help support the people who make generating wlw content of increasing quality possible for all of us to enjoy.

-- Happy New Everyone from @thecarmillacurator​