#99% of the ‘military’ games he plays aren’t even really military

[erosology]

soap is a huge gamer and likes to stream on twitch during his down time. his most popular series is “rating how accurate military games are based on how badly they trigger my ptsd”. gaz thinks it’s hilarious and will join in every now and then. simon lurks in chat but doesn’t say much. price is trying to figure out how to shut is channel down

[hypmic-writings]

How would Riou, Rosho and dice be as big brothers? headcanons please!

━━ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ━━

Pairing: Riou Busujima x sibling!reader; Dice Arisugawa x sibling!reader; Rosho Tsutsujimori  x sibling!reader

Genre: Fluff; Platonic

Warnings: None

A/N:  Just a disclaimer that I don’t have any brothers, only sisters, so I’m sorry if any of these seem like incorrect brotherly interactions. Definitely let me know though; I’m always looking to improve writing scenarios I don’t have personal experience with! Anyways, I hope you like it~

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Riou Busujima:

Riou is definitely going to be the slightly-overbearing yet incredibly supportive older brother

he’s going to want you to be able to do whatever you want, so he’s more than happy to take the blame from your parents when the two of you mess up

however, he’s also the type to be the overbearing big brother and lecture you if you do things you’re not supposed to do

not because he’s trying to be mean, but because he wants to make sure that you’re being safe and doing the right things

he definitely encourages you to try out for every sport and every club and if you don’t make the team, he’s going to tell you that it’s okay and that there’s definitely a club that’ll appreciate you

he’s gonna nit-pick and make sure that you’ve done all your chores and cleaned your room and made the bed

one time you jokingly said that if he liked making his bed so much, he should just join the military and surprisingly that stuck with him

he had his growth spurt early and whenever he didn’t want you to have something he literally just holds it above his head or puts it up on a shelf somewhere which would make you seethe with anger

he might snitch on you if you sneak out of the house but I promise he’s doing it out of love

growing up you might have found this annoying or argued with him that he’s not your dad so he can’t tell you what to doo

but once the two of you are older, you’ll appreciate the fact that he shielded you from a lot of things that gave you the freedom to do what you wanted when you were young

he never texts you back but then will call you once or twice a month and the two of you will talk on the phone for hours

he wants to know everything about your life and surprisingly, he’ll remember almost everything from the previous call 

when he’s old enough to leave home, he’s always calling to check up on you and ask how your parents are doing

whenever he comes home for the holiday the two of you always hang around the house like you did when you were younger (99% chance one of you brings out the old game system and you get pissed when you lose because it’s been 10 years and  you’ve still never beaten him)

Dice Arisugawa:

Dice is the type of brother that you would be really close with but who would also just be annoying 24/7

don’t get me wrong, you love each other but he’s going to be the worst

growing up, he would definitely play all kinds of pranks on you and would buy all of the items at the joke shop just to mess with you 

one time he stole your prized stuffed animal and sold it for lunch money because he gambled his lunch money away in the school yard with the kids

your mother told you she would buy you a new one but THAT’S NOT THE POINT MOM

HOWEVER

he’s very clear that only he can mess with you like that though

I can 100% imagine Dice being the type to tell his friends how annoying it is that he has to take care of you, and they would say ‘you they’re so annoying’ and then he would scowl because only he’s allowed to be mean to you like that

if anyone ever bullied you, Dice is ready to swing

one time he got suspended from school for two days for beating up one of the kids because they called you a bad name

you yelled at him afterwards saying that you didn’t need his protection, but he just shouted back that it’s his job to protect you, no matter how annoying of a little sibling you are

the two of you ended up crying together after the argument and it actually brought you closer together

the two of you definitely bond over your annoyance with the lavish lifestyle your parents live

whenever your mother would throw fancy parties, the two of you would sneak away to go play video games or hide and seek

once Dice leaves home, you make sure to keep up with him (you always make sure that he at least has enough money to pay the phone bill so that you can reach him when you need to)

definitely the type to call you in tears, asking you to send him food and you begrudgingly do it because you’re not gonna let your brother starve

and that’s when he’ll compliment you and be nice to you of course

but you’ll just tell him he can repay you by winning the next rap battle and having enough money to pay for a place to live

Rosho Tsutsujimori:

Rosho is going to be the protective and caring brother

growing up he was probably relatively quiet and straight-forward, so he would always be up front about telling you to take care of yourself and be careful

the two of you would get on well and be on good terms, and Rosho would never involve himself too heavily in your life, wanting you to do your own thing as much as he wanted to do his

definitely the type to stay up late and help you with your homework if you asked him too, though

whenever you have friends come over, they always comment on how scary Rosho looks, but you would just shrug and say that’s just the way his face is

one time you almost choked on your school lunch because a friend of yours said that there was a rumor that Rosho was a delinquent

you love your brother and he could dress like a delinquent all he wanted, but there’s no way you could imagine the man who literally made you kill the spider in his room the previous day, as a delinquent

definitely lots of bickering and name-calling at the dinner table, but as soon as your parents gave you ‘the look’ the two of you would stop

there’s a lot of quiet time that you spend together - doing homework in the same room, just watching tv or even just playing on your phones

even though the two of you aren’t necessarily best friends, you spend a lot of time together 

when he starts to develop his stage fright, he wouldn’t want to lean on you, seeing it as a weakness from an older brother, but when you do support him, he’s going to be grateful for it

Rosho’s a pretty independent guy so unless you actively ask him to do things with you or help you, he’s going to want to give you space to do your own thing

however, as soon as you tell him you need his help, he’s giving it his all to make sure nobody’s bothering you or that he helps you however he can

once the two of you are older, you actually get a little closer and I can imagine you have a text chain that’s just filled with recounts of annoyances during the day and cute gifs of cats

you make it a point to meet up with him at least once a month just so that you can both catch up and still be a part of each others’ lives

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[galacticnova3]

as someone who played thru both games blind (and kss/u first) the sheer disproportionate level of hate magolor gets in comparison to m*rx makes me 🗡🗡🗡

FUCKING SAME! Like yeah I was pissed at Magolor for a while until I discovered Kirby Has Lore In It and started actually looking in to things. That’s around the time I figured “oh shit he probably wasn’t himself through some of that” and started being Less Mad.

For fuck’s sake one of the songs is literally called Under My Control, that’s a pretty big hint that you were going to be fighting the crown(indirectly) as soon as he put it on. Magolor didn’t control shit at that point, he just got stronger, but his boss descriptions make it pretty clear that the crown was up to something besides being a fancy headpiece... such as possessing Magolor. The use of ‘My’ can easily be interpreted as the crown itself, not necessarily Magolor, when given the context of those descriptions. Also the crown wiggles and shit so denying that it is a being and saying it’s just a powerful object is pretty difficult to do in an honest interpretation. Regular cursed crowns don’t move of their own accord.

Nowadays my headcanon is that he wasn’t originally intending universal domination or to do anything to Popstar at all; he just wanted to rule Halcandra because it fucking sucks right now. The infrastructure is in shambles, there’s a pissed off military robot attacking people in Egg Engines, and the water supply is full of giant eels. Is becoming a god through lies the most moral way to go about solving that? Of course not! But if it had worked it would have been very effective. Throw out the current government speedrun any%. Of course the crown not only let/made him power trip, but also possessed him, and those things don’t exactly mix well when you think you’re invincible and you can’t quite tell what thoughts are yours and what are from the entity firmly digging itself into your skull.

In other words, no, this isn’t woobifying him like I’ve been accused of doing, this is giving him a more interesting motivation that could easily be corrupted and taken too far. Like it was. His actions aren’t being excused or ignored, nor am I writing it like “ohhh but everyone forgives him because he said he was sowwy!” Literally I have gone into detail how much Meta Knight still despises him, and how the majority of people don’t trust him at all despite not even being involved with what he did. The only two characters I’ve written actually forgiving him are Kirby and the Lor. Kirby because they’re just like that and value friendships over grudges, Lor because she thinks he’s dealt with enough natural consequences and consequences from other people. Also because she has some (imo understandable) bias; even if he kept the reasoning from her for years, she’s only around because of his actions, as awful as they ultimately were.

Also I write him as such 99% out of spite towards Marx stans, who tend to be the most vocal anti-Magolor group. THIS is how you do a villain redemption arc, not “he died but got better so things are chill now” like I’ve so often seen with the jester bastard. Forgiveness/acceptance and consequences/punishment are not mutually exclusive! Consequences/punishment with no forgiveness/acceptance isn’t really redemption, and forgiveness/acceptance with no consequences/punishment is woobifying. Some level of both is needed for an honest redemption, along with realistic character development.

Unless you want to just have Kirby yeet a friend heart at them, but that’s not very interesting to read, is it? Anyways sorry for the mega tangent but I have thoughts.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] 100 Days - Gavin (Day 51 - 100)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for e-mails which have not been released in English servers! 🍒

What’s the 100 Days Companionship Event?

Day 1 - 3: here

Day 4 - 30: here

Day 31 - 50: here

Day 51

I watched the video of the “police cat” you sent me. Next time, we can have a cat and a dog. Training them together would be pretty nice.

Day 52

I’ve completed the riddle game you recommended. Those people who left comments saying it was difficult are at a certain level.

Day 53

The rice cooker cake you made is very delicious. I’m filled with veneration for my rice cooker - I’ve watched it since it was small.

Day 54

I happened to meet the little kid we sent home the last time. She asked why the Pretty Sister wasn’t around. So is the Pretty Sister resting well?

Day 55

Tried making curry. I’ve tasted it, and it’s not bad. Next time, teach me something else.

Day 56

I bought you milk tea, and hope your week can be a little sweeter.

Day 57

Eli said that the picture I’m using as my phone wallpaper would have looked even better if the angle was tilted slightly. What does he know? You look pretty no matter what.

Day 58

It does feel different eating ice-cream when the weather is cold. But it isn’t good for your stomach, so I’m confiscating half.

Day 59

If you feel cold, you can put your hand into my pocket anytime.

Day 60

This morning, I realised that the tallest tree in the city had white leaves. When I leaned over to take a look, I saw that they were white frost.

Day 61

The picture you sent me yesterday wasn’t a wolf. It’s a Czechoslovakian Wolfdog - a breed of dog which is very loyal and tame.

Day 62 (Double Ninth)

It’s Yang Festival today, so there may be many people going up the mountain. We can watch the sunset later.

Day 63

When I was tidying the room, I found the champion prize from last year’s STF long-distance race in autumn. It’s a keychain of a running military dog.

Day 64

There’s a shop selling your favourite sugar cakes. I’ll bring it to you after work, and hope it’d still be warm when it reaches your hands.

Day 65

Recently, I changed a new driving playlist. Those songs you recommended - I like them very much.

Day 66

In the movie we watched yesterday, I keep thinking that werewolves are even more dashing and decisive than vampires.

Day 67

My phone is spoilt. It’s a good thing I can memorise your e-mail, and didn’t miss the sign-in.

Day 68 (Halloween)

Title: Selecting a jack-o’lantern

There are many types of jack-o’-lanterns in the shop today, and I don’t know which one you like. If you’re not busy, want to take a look together in the afternoon?

Day 69

You mentioned wanting to go fishing the last time. I’ve bought a full set of fishing gear, and will wait till you have time.

Day 70

It’s too cooling to eat watermelons during this season. I bought a hami melon and have placed it in the fridge. Remember to eat it.

Day 71

After the door locked, I realised that I didn’t bring my keys. I never thought that I’d have my forgetful moments too. It’s a good thing the windows weren’t locked.

Day 72

I’ve familiarised myself with the technique of cutting bunny apple slices. Next time, I’ll show it to you.

Day 73

I left home early today, and the sky wasn’t bright yet. Venus looked as though it was within reach.

Day 74

Found a puppy stuffed toy while tidying up, and thought about how it’s been a very long time since we last went to the claw machine together.

Day 75

I know that you’re afraid of the cold, so I bought a pair of gloves. You can wear them when riding on Sparky. It’s a matching set with mine.

Day 76

While watching the German Shepherd in the team undergoing training, I suddenly felt that its life is very worth respecting. Once it decides on a person, it will give its all.

Day 77

Turns out making sandwiches at home is pretty easy. If you want to eat them next time, there’s no need to buy them from the supermarket anymore.

Day 78

There’s renovation going on upstairs, and it’s really noisy. I thought about how you also mentioned that your neighbour does renovation works whenever you’re about to take a nap.

Day 79 (Single’s Day)

Eli and the guys said they didn’t want to see me hovering around in STF today. How baffling. So, I’m here to see you.

Day 80

The colleague who got married last month returned from his honeymoon with some local specialties. I think they aren’t bad, so I left you a share.

Day 81

At this time every year, you’d usually say that it’s cold. But winter this year seems to have a higher temperature.

Day 82

The weather is really good today, and it’s suitable for airing quilts. You mentioned liking the scent of sunlight on quilts.

Day 83

I saw you mentioning on Moments that it’s the final episode of your favourite television drama. I’ve bought snacks, and will watch it together with you.

Day 84

You cried for a really long time after watching the ending yesterday. Are your eyes still swollen? I asked Minor to put some eye patches on your desk. Remember to use them later.

Day 85

I’ve heard of the trust game you mentioned. I can close my eyes and let you lead me, no matter how far it is.

Day 86

I took Sparky Jr. along with me on duty today. It still can’t fly as high as I can.

[Note] In CN, “Sparky Jr.” is called 小小黑 (“xiao xiao hei”), which translates directly to “Little Little Black”!

Day 87

You mentioned that the cafe you often visited has closed down. I’ll bring you to an even better one. Everything can change, but when it comes to being by your side, that won’t change.

Day 88

Next time, don’t lift heavy parcels at the collection point by yourself. Just call me.

Day 89

I was a little tired yesterday so I fell asleep and didn’t reply to your messages in time. You must have been worried from waiting.

Day 90

It’s Minor Snow today, but it isn’t snowing.

[Trivia] “Minor Snow” (小雪 - “xiao xue”) refers to the 20th solar term spanning from 22nd November to 6th December!

Day 91

The bureau received a silk banner today. Eli and the others insisted that I take a group photo. If they want to show it to you next time, you mustn’t look.

Day 92

I’ve set your picture as the background of my new phone. This way, I’ll be able to see you once I pick my phone up.

Day 93

You mentioned having lower back pains recently. I’ve ordered a massage chair for you.

Day 94

On Thanksgiving Day, the person I wish to thank most is you.

Day 95

If it were possible, I’d wish that signing in would never end.

Day 96

Minor wants to invite us to his cousins’ shop to play a board game. I don’t really know how to play it. There are werewolves, civilians, and a priest. Now, we’re just missing a witch.

Day 97

The tangerines you bought the last time are very sweet. If chilled for a while, they’ll be even more delicious.

Day 98

Actually, there’s no need to ask me. No matter what you want to do or where you want to go, I’ll accompany you.

Day 99

Heard a song we listened to together along the street, and couldn’t help but pause and listen for a while.

Day 100

Without realising it, it’s already the last day. But I’ll continue accompanying you.

-

Not enough Gavin sweetness? A fan on Weibo created texts and Moments based on some of his e-mails, which I’ve translated: here

[dragons-bones]

4, 15, 20, 28, 33, 35, 41 for the domesticity meme? it's a lot i'm very sorry i just Hunger For Domesticity

Domesticity is Good And Wonderful, I don’t blame you a bit, Cyan. :P Also tagging @smira-asah-xiv and @tehjai who both asked for number #15.

4. How did they start living together? Do they move? How do they choose the place?

Living arrangements were something that Synnove and Aymeric actively sat down and discussed very early on; they both had a very good sense that their relationship was It for them. Synnove was actually a little nervous about how the talk would go because she was very reluctant to sell her house; she’s owned the plot since about two or three years after the Calamity and had the house built to her specifications. It is very much her home. She loves Borel Manor, too, but she deeply loves La Noscea.

Aymeric, thankfully, was appalled at the very idea of her selling her own just to accommodate himself. Now, Ishgardian inheritance and property laws being the Byzantine headaches they are, he couldn’t sell the Manor even if he wanted to.

The compromise they hit upon was essentially splitting their time between homes. Their work being what it is, it’s easier for Synnove to still primarily live at the La Noscea house, and Aymeric at the Manor, but they will frequently come to stay with the other as time and work permits (and their friends/colleagues threaten them to take vacations). Synnove frequently shows up at the Manor during the semester to take a break from Guild nonsense or grade somewhere much quieter (while also sneaking in a cuddle or six), and Aymeric is absolutely blatant about using the La Noscea house as an escape during Parliament recesses so he isn’t ambushed at home by politicians.

15. What habits of the other drives them crazy?

The workaholism. Yes, they are incredibly aware of the hypocrisy of such, though their habits manifest in different ways: Aymeric of course hates how much Synnove mangles her sleep schedule (that he’s actually relieved when Scion business calls her away is awful, because it means she’s about to sleep like a normal person), and Synnove hates how Aymeric will get up in the middle of night to do work, or bring paperwork to bed with him.

In non-workaholic related annoyances:

Aymeric would not mind Synnove’s coffee addiction near as much if she would just use the same mug instead of constantly leaving them around the house and getting a fresh one for another cup. She is good about reusing her mugs when she’s reminded to do so, but she has to be reminded. (He is, perhaps, a little smug when she grumbles doing the evening round up of dishes and it takes her two or three trips to get all the used mugs into the kitchen to be washed.)

Synnove loves Aymeric’s voice, but he has a habit when it’s quiet enough to read his paperwork aloud, as the sound helps him concentrate. It’s not enough to be discernible, however; it’s a murmur, at best. Aymeric has no idea when he began doing it, but the lack of understandable words grates on Synnove’s nerves. Keeping the orchestrion on actually helps, since Aymeric only begins doing it during dead silence in the house, but Synnove will retreat to another room when Aymeric does paperwork and neither are in the mood to listen to music.

20. What do they watch on TV and do they fight for the remote?

(*dusts off Modern Eorzea AU ideas*)

They tend to enjoy a lot of documentaries: science (particularly fields Synnove doesn’t work with), nature, history, and certain niche interests. Cooking shows, mysteries, some comedies (they have a mutual fondness for Ul’dah 99), and historical dramas are also fun. Political dramas and a lot of action/sci-fi movies are off on the table as the former remind Aymeric too much of work and the latter Synnove frequently nitpicks for bad science. (She gives certain shows and movies a pass if they’re very blatant about Rule of Cool being the primary physical force at work.)

But there are two times of the year when the remote will be fought over: the spring and autumn months when the baseball and hockey seasons overlap. Synnove, math nerd that she is, is a huge baseball fan (and also plays on the faculty softball team at the University of Limsa Lominsa); Aymeric, as any good son of Coerthas, was born and raised playing hockey (and curling). Aymeric usually only cares about Ishgard Knights games (though Synnove can be wheedled into watching with him if they’re playing the Ala Mhigo Griffins, as the Limsa Lominsa Corsairs are, uh, kind of a joke), whereas Synnove is a devout fan of both the Limsa Lominsa Hammerheads and the Ala Mhigo Revolution. (The Ishgard Bishops are about the only Coerthan team worth a damn, but Aymeric still can’t bring himself to cheer for them after the Dragoons moved to Tailfeather.)

28. What kind of stuff can be found around their place?

Books of all kinds (science journals, political treatises, military history, fiction, cookbooks, etc.). Lots of loose leaf paper and quills (Aymeric) and chalk and graphite sticks (Synnove). Assorted mechanical contraptions Aymeric refuses to touch until Synnove confirms they aren’t explosive. The carbuncles’ toys (they are very good at putting them away at the end of the day, but please do watch your step when visiting at either home). Synnove’s goldsmithing tools and carbuncle-quality gems she cuts for the Guild. Coffee mugs. (”Synnove! Use the one in your hand for Halone’s sake!”) Feathers for fletching arrows and bottles of oil with rubbing rags for Naegling and Aymeric’s bow. A stack of grimoires wherein any of one of which could probably be used to beat someone to death (and one looks suspiciously dented already). A growing pile of unopened letters on the table next to the front door with the wax seals of various Ishgardian houses.

...I’m going to stop there because if I don’t we will be here all night.

33. How do they refer to the other in public? How do other people refer to the other? (i.e. “my partner”, “ask your father”, "dad and papa", "how’s your wife?“, etc)

Synnove and Aymeric will generally refer to one another as either “my beloved” or “my lover,” when speaking of the other; Aymeric will also refer to Synnove as “his lady.” The Ishgardian nobility will refer to Synnove as simply “the Warrior of Light” (with context making it obvious they mean Synnove specifically) for politeness’s sake; Count Edmont and the Temple Knights are the only ones who will refer to Synnove as “his lady.” The Squad will just flat out call Aymeric “her boyfriend,” even if Synnove herself thinks that terminology is too juvenile. Synnove’s co-workers at the Guild call him “her beau” or “that knight of yours.”

35. How often do they go on dates?

Not very; with how often they’re consumed by work, staying in tends to be their preferred way of spending time with one another. That being said, sometimes they both get antsy to do something; even if they’re in Ishgard when that happens, they’ll more than likely teleport to Limsa Lominsa, as it has a much livelier night life, and Lominsans are more likely to mind their own business when one of their resident Warriors of Life is meandering through the city with a handsome man on her arm.

Depending on their mood, dinner will be either at the Bismarck if they’d like something a little fancier to eat, the Drowning Wench if they’re more interested in good whiskey with their fish stew, or one of the myriad cafes for Ala Mhigan or Gridanian or Thavnairian. Afterwards, it would either be stay at the Wench to people watch and enjoy the open stage Baderon keeps for performance-minded adventurers to show off; head over to a free play or concert at the Aftcastle or Anchor Yard put on by one of the theater companies; or, if they really need the laugh, a show at one of the bawdy houses.

41. What would they do if the other was hurt?

Well, as we know on two separate occasions, when Aymeric gets hurt, Synnove gets angry. Usually at whomever hurt him, sometimes also at him if he was being “a fucking moron” about it. If it’s a combat situation, well, the enemy had better start running, because it is Dreadwyrm Protocols time.

(Raubahn is exceedingly grateful, after the first time he sees Synnove Greywolfe turn her ruby carbuncle into Demi-Bahamut during the Battle of Ala Mhigo, that she couldn’t do that during the Grand Melee.)

If it’s not a combat situation, however, Synnove is likely to fretting mother hen. Aymeric, too, though with less clucking and more soothing humming if it was something like a kitchen accident. (He is likely to be less sympathetic if it’s an injury related to an experiment, because Synnove is supposed to be smarter than that.)

For a combat-related injury, Aymeric is generally going to be less, ah, violent than Synnove and more deeply concerned, as Synnove is more than capable of holding her own in combat and has her three sisters-by-choice at her side. Most often, if her injuries are more related to aether shock and having to go all out in combat, he’ll assist in ensuring she drinks her aether syrup and recovers from depleting her aether reserves so thoroughly.

Of course, there was his reaction to hearing about Synnove’s injuries from the Battle of Rhalgr’s Reach. Lucia and Handeloup do not talk about it. Not even Rereha could get the details out of them; all she knows is that the two managed to get Aymeric to an empty salle, locked the door, and stood guard to make sure no one tried to get in, and that the repair bill was enormous.

--

(Big Fat Domesticity Meme for Aymeric & Synnove)

[kineticpenguin]

Y’know, even good games have some things wrong with them, and bad ones have a lot wrong with them, but if someone makes a video like this: 

You can be pretty sure their head’s up their ass.

Jingles, you varmint, I’m a-callin’ you out! Are you ready? Are you set? Do you need a count?

1. “Now, I don’t know about you, but I grew up during the Cold War. And my generation fully expected that we wouldn’t live long enough to die of old age, we were going to die in a thermonuclear holocaust. And we had some expectations of what that sort of thing would look like.”

He goes on to posit that the relatively similar landscape and condition of the buildings is a sign of the game being a lazy cash grab. Which it might be, but the buildings are generally in far worse shape -where they still exist as more than rubble- than he lets on with his “just needs some paint” commentary. Anyway.

Seen a lot of nuclear holocausts in your time, Jingles? See, that’s the thing: You had expectations that came from movies. Just because you had the looming threat of nuclear annihilation hanging over your head didn’t mean it happened so you know what it would look like. Except for one thing: we can look at two cities that were actually hit with nukes, and look at other areas that recovered from nuclear disasters, and see that none of them were permanently transformed into the set of Mad Max. I’m not even talking about rebuilding; flowers were seen growing in the ruins of Hiroshima not long after the bombing. Like those pink flowers you complain about being everywhere. Life, uh, finds a way.

Really, the laziest thing they could’ve done would be to just reuse all the assets from the end of Far Cry 5 so everything looks freshly nuked, just the way you expected it, apparently. Remember, this is 17 years after Far Cry 5. I think you’ll find trees grow faster than you might think.

2. “The poor defenseless of Hope County, Montana, after recovering from nuclear devastation, are at the mercy of a bunch of bikers. And they’re so completely incapable of defending themselves that they call in outside help, and that’s where you, the player, come in. Now, the reason this is ridiculous is-”

Because you didn’t pay attention, Jingles. The story makes it extremely clear that just as the survivors started to get back on their feet, the Highwaymen rolled in. The Highwaymen aren’t just “a bunch of bikers,” they’re an invading military force, Mad Max style. In the words of Avril Lavigne, can I make it any more obvious? 

When the bombs fell, the Hope County survivalists were busy winning a war against Joseph Seed. A lot of them died when the nukes fell. Plus... it's been 17 years, dude. The survivors got old. Some of them got sick and died. Grace Armstrong's gone blind. Your boyfriend Hurk's 63 for Chrissakes, he's only doing this because he's too stupid to stop. Those still of realistic "military age" have families to look after. The young survivors grew up in bunkers like Carmina and have had to learn how to survive outside of them really quickly. On top of that, the Highwaymen aren't a mostly closed, internal threat like FC5's cult; they're invading occupiers of what is basically an expansionist foreign country. Stop bitching because this isn’t Tremors.

All of this does is take a slight bit of paying attention, like you keep making fun of people for not doing because their eyes aren’t constantly glued to a minimap and they wind up sailing broadside to a battleship.

Also for fuck’s sake, every Far Cry game from 3 onward has been about you entering a situation the locals can’t resolve on their own, no matter how implausible that is. New Dawn has a far better excuse for its locals than fucking 3 did, at the very least. Although, come to think of it, when you keep going on about how tough the survivalists were in 5, I think it’s worth remembering that they were completely incapable of standing up to a wackdoodle cult without the player stepping in. That’s just how Far Cry works.

3. “The plot keeps making stupid decisions for you and the villains suck.”

Welcome to Far Cry, Jingleman. TBH of all the stupid shit that happens in New Dawn, it felt far less contrived than the previous games from 3-5. It was refreshingly straightforward, and confrontations with the villains happened in ways that made just enough sense to not be stupid... unlike the previous games. Like, you complain about Thomas Rush getting captured repeatedly (“all he does”) but did you forget that that was 99% of the plot advancement in 5, only it was the player character getting captured over and over and over again?

He complains about the “inane drivel from the evil twins” but again, that’s standard Far Cry villainy. Or did anyone think Vaas’ “definition of insanity” speech was actually deep? I mean, am I the only one who found Vaas and the Seed Family to be incredibly annoying with their “I’m interrupting the game to talk to you” moments instead of fawning over how “mystical,” “witty,” and “sophisticated” they are?

Jingles says the twins are “just thugs” and well, fair enough. But I found that refreshing. All Far Cry villains are thugs of some stripe, but instead of being on some weird shit, the Twins were never pretending to be anything else. They’re assholes who are here to beat you into submission, not charm you or have philosophical chats with you before kicking you down a well.

4. “When the game takes choice away from you and forces you to do something incomprehensibly stupid, it’s really bloody annoying!”

Oh, like every drug trip and trance from 3-5?

No, Jingles, you couldn’t have just “stomped them both” the second you walked in. Like, even in hokey far cry, shit has to happen. You can’t do that until you go into a frenzied rage.

Also Jingles talks about Rush getting captured “four times in a row,” but... that only happens twice. Once at the beginning of the game, and once in the scene he can’t stop bitching about.

5. “I still have to listen to her pleading for mercy.”

Jingles you fucking idiot she’s literally saying “Welp I had a good run” while you’re blathering, we all heard it! What are you smoking?

Like, it’s one thing if you just had bad opinions about the game. Subjectivity and all that, not everyone pays attention to what they’re playing, either. But you’re outright lying about the game. Repeatedly. Just to make it sound worse than it is. It’s time to stop.

[pauldeckerus]

The Top 200 Things I’m Thankful For This Thanksgiving

Today is a big holiday in the US; it’s a day where we take time off to celebrate all the things we’re thankful for. We get together with family; over-eat a traditional Thanksgiving Day meal, and then we watch football until we pass out. It’s just about a perfect day.

I got up this morning feeling especially grateful for the many blessings I enjoy all year long, and I wanted to take a few minutes to share the things I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving Day. I believe counting your blessings is one of the best things a person can do (and that this list of 200 is only a start, is a real blessing to me for sure).

Here they are, (in no particular order):

I’m thankful….

1. that I got to marry the girl of my dreams (it’ll be 30-years this coming September)

2. for Keurig Coffee Makers

3. for little hole-in-the-wall restaurants

4. for having a big brother I could always look up to

5. that she said “yes!”

6. for the “Skip” button on YouTube ads 

7. when I hear the ringtone that lets me know my son is texting us

8. for Seinfeld reruns 

9. that I learned how to use Photoshop and Lightroom

10. for lazy Saturday mornings when we just chill

11. for Saturday College Football games and that our son chose a big football school (#rolltide!)

12. for Hulu and Netflix and Amazon Prime

13. for Maggie the Wonderdog

14. for how happy Maki the SuperDog makes my wife

15. for that first cup of coffee in the morning

16. that my wife got us a Latte maker

17. for big greasy double-cheeseburgers served in restaurants whose cleanliness is so suspect that my wife would never eat there.

18. for anytime I drive up to our house, and see our son’s truck sitting out front

19. that first morning hug from my wifey

20. that the Buc’s miserable season is mercifully almost over

21. that this year the Patriot’s aren’t as good as they usually are

22. for any chilly day here in Florida

23. for my daughter’s wonderful sense of humor

24. when my daughter shares her drawings with me

25. for CoffeeMate individual creamers

26. that my son was born with the built-in love of helping and looking out for other people

27. for the text my son just sent us as I’m writing this that brought tears to my eyes 

28. for my daughter’s laugh

29. for all the family traditions that my wife fosters and we all lover

30. that our kids get to attend great schools

31. for Dunkin Donut’s drive-thru in the morning, and that they’ll make your coffee just the way you like it

32. for Terry White

33. for the kind people who read my blog each day

34. for all the little things

35. for our cozy couch for watching TV

36. for Logic Pro X (the wonderful recording studio software on my Mac)

37. for Pizza, and the fine people who deliver them. 

38. for mornings where Maggie doesn’t bark at other children and parents in the car line

39. that my son is such a faithful person by nature

40. for Sunday night’s texting my buddy Jeff Revell as we watch ‘The Walking Dead’ together, while 1,000 miles apart

41. for our tradition of watching “Love Actually” again every Christmas

42. for living so close to Disney World

43. for how awesome my wife is at planning trips

44. for being married to such an amazing cook

45. for a really comfy bed pillow

46. for Rick and Susan Sammon

47. for all my guitars

48. for beautiful offices for us to work in each day

49. to have Jessica, Kim and Cindy work on my books

50. that people actually buy my books, which lets me keep writing them

51. for the smell of my wife’s cooking when I walk in the door

52. for times when just my daughter and I get to go out to lunch

53. for Moose and Sharon

54. for Dave, Peter, and Glyn 

55. for having such a wonderful mother and father growing up. 

56. for being able to play musical instruments

57. for having mentors whose wisdom and whip-cracking have helped immeasurably throughout my life

58. for Jeanne Jilleba who helps me so much each day

59. for having a great relationship with my mother and father-in-law

60. for having a mother-in-law who stepped in for my own mother when she passed away

61. for the trips my brother and I take together once a year

62. to Delta, their SkyClub, and all the upgrades I get each year

63. to Erik Kuna for being my friend

64. for all the folks who come out to my seminars each year.

65. that I still get to work with my friend Ted Waitt

66. for Levi, and Sally and Dianne for caring so much about our members

67. for Chris, Susie, Karen and Pam – I’m lucky to work with them

68. for my wife’s beautiful smile

69. for how my son always shares new songs he finds with me

70. for all the times my wife texts me a heart emoji

71. for somebody’s else’s fries

72. for how my friend Dave Clayton’s texts always make me laugh out loud

73. that my kids know they are loved completely and unconditionally 

74. for my Pastor and friend Douglas Poole

75. for Victoria’s sweet texts, and for what a joy she is

76. that I get to drive a car each day that makes driving a joy

77. for really good air conditioning

78. that I get to use such great camera and lighting gear

79. for Google’s news app on my phone

80. for my great Web team; Adam, Aaron, Yo, and Curt 

81. for everybody who checked on my wifey when she got in an accident

82. for black t-shirts with logos on them

83. for Dave Black, Kristy Sherk, Lindsay Adler and Peter Hurley, 

84. for the beautiful baby grand piano Kalebra bought for my birthday 20+ years ago

85. that I’ve been able to be a part of the Photoshop World conference all these years

86. for when great ideas pop in my head, and for being able to move on when it turns out some of them aren’t as great as I thought

87. for all my friends who came to the rescue

88. for the pretty drive to work in the mornings

89. for Juan, Steve, Jason and Christina

90. that my daughter and our niece are such great friends

91. that my son loves so many different kinds of music (everything from classic rock to Sinatra to rap to metal)

92. for all the times my big brother helped me, and guided me, when I was growing up.

93. for my apple watch and all the reminders it gives me

94. for weekends and days off

95. for the smell of coffee brewing

96. for Margie, Angela, Jacque, John and Rachel

97. for Maxx Hammond for being such a great friend to my son all these years, and for being an important part of our family

98. for comfortable shoes

99. for having a friend like Manny

100. for loving every minute with my family

101. for the men and women of our military 

102. for Julie, Kleber, Heidi and Cheryl

103. for the little Blackstar tube amp sitting on my desk

104. anytime I get to go to New York City

105. for our dear friend and partner Jean A.

106. for James Taylor

107. for all the awesome texts I’m getting from friends today

108. that my daughter still cares that I bake my special “Christmas Cookies” each year when we put up the tree (and I’m grateful she thinks Pillsbury mean ‘special’).

109. my guardian angel 

110. for bagels with cream cheese

111. for Larry Tiefenbrunn

112. for first responders

113. that my camera bag has four wheels

114. for Viktor and Ron

115. for Larry Becker, Rob Sylvan, and Dave Williams

116. for my friends Chicky Nando, and Big Mike, and Cathy B, and Mimo

117. for all the stuff in Erik’s backpack (since he always has that thing I need that I forgot to bring)

118. for waking up feeling great in the morning!

119. for Joe and Annie

120. that our dog Maki has a best friend in our son’s dog Nami

121. for beautiful clouds when I’m shooting a sunrise

122. for a yummy breakfast after a sunrise shoot

123. for my wife’s homemade chocolate-chip pancakes

124. for the sound of my wife’s voice

125. for mornings when I get up early and get a bunch of stuff done and I look up and it’s only 8:15 am

126. for landings in London

127. the quiet time my wife and I share with our coffee in the mornings before the kids wake up

128. My MacBook Pro and how much easier it makes my business life each day

129. for forgiveness 

130. that I realize what a privileged, blessed life I lead, and to whom I owe the thanks

131. that I start each day getting centered reading the Bible and daily devotionals

132. for how my daughter is always dancing

133. for the night’s where our family gets together to play games

134. for when we all lay on the floor, looking up and debate how tall the ceiling is in our living room

135. for our holiday trips to Disney’s Hollywood Studios

136. for cheese. Any kind of cheese. Even if it dispenses from a can

137. that somebody kept reading even though we’re down to number 137

138. that we have doggie treats when we really need them

139. for breakfasts at First Watch

140. for Carmine’s on W. 44th Street

141. for all the awesome instructors I get to work with

142. for empty middle seats

143. for my iPad and all the awesome apps, like the Kindle Reader

144. for the Texture app so I can read all my favorite magazines on my iPad

145. that I get to make new friends along the way

146. that people come to my workshops and I get to make new friends

147. for everyone who has stuck up for me in an online forum

148. for all the people who helped me along the way, and who may be gone, but are not forgotten

149. for the great companies and partners who sponsor The Grid

150. that I get to do a weekly live photography show and have such wonderful photographers as guests

151. for my Platypod Ultra

152. that my employees have a long weekend this weekend

153. for my lunch this week with an old friend

154. that we work so close to one of the best Cuban restaurants 

155. for Tara our awesome official Chilis server for over 10-years now

156. for how happy fresh flowers make my wife

157. to see how happy it makes Kalebra when we all eat our vegetables at dinner

158. for a beautiful yard for the doggos to run in. 

159. for Sundays when I sleep in really late

160. that my son left his awesome drum kit here so I can play it

161. that my old rock band from high-school still gets together to play our high-school reunion party

162. that I live in a very sunny place

163. for Google search

164. for every time my wife is cooking and says “I’m trying something different tonight.” It always leads to a delicious meal!

165. that I always remember our anniversary

166. that our family makes birthdays really special for each other

167. that we have a photographic art gallery and that we get to celebrate our member’s work there

168. that I have such a great art director for my shoots in Kalebra

169. for William C. Miller, my high school band director, who taught us more than music.

170. that I was born and raised here

171. for Deb, John, Bob, Sam, and all my friends in Boston

172. for the Sci-Fi Drive-In Theatre restaurant 

173. for Frank Doorhof

174. for all the summers in Sarasota at the beach when I was growing up

175. for getting to board early

176. for Larry Grace, Ed Buice, and Rob Foldy

177. for Superchargers

178. for when the dogs realize it was just a random sound and stop barking

179. for all the live concerts, Broadway shows, and performances I’ve experienced

180. for my wife’s guardian angel, who has been working overtime lately

181. for Zephyrhills bottled spring water

182. for the times my brother and I get to play golf

183. for the Genius Bar in the Apple Store 

184. for Chili’s chips and salsa

185. for now thoughtful my wife is

186. for afternoon’s at the movies

187. for the times when I could think of the perfect gift

188. for all the people who participate in my Worldwide Photo Walk and for the joy it brings me to see their smiling faces in their group shots

189. for everyone who has donated to the Springs of Hope Kenya orphanage

190. for all the wonderful gifts I treasure that Kalebra has gotten me over the years

191. for all my friends at Canon USA

192. for everybody who follows me on social media, and shares a kind word or says something nice about one of my images.

193. for every handmade birthday card my daughter has made for me

194. that my son is a way better version of me

195. for all the times when my wife knows exactly what to say and how to say it

196. that people are kind when they point out my typos on my blog

197. that I love to drive

198. that I still get to play with Scotty and Tony in a band. 

199. for how easy it was to come up with 200 things I’m grateful for

200. for God, and His Son Jesus Christ, for leading me to the woman of my dreams, for blessing us with such amazing children, for allowing me to make a living doing something I truly love, for always being there when I need Him, for blessing me with a wonderful, fulfilling, and happy life, and such a warm, loving family to share it with.

Here’s wishing you a Thanksgiving full of family, food, gratitude for our many blessings, and I hope your team wins this weekend unless you’re playing Alabama! #rolltide!

All my best, 

-Scott

The post The Top 200 Things I’m Thankful For This Thanksgiving appeared first on Scott Kelby's Photoshop Insider.

from Photography News https://scottkelby.com/the-top-200-things-im-thankful-for-this-thanksgiving/

[gibsongirlselections]

What if Trump Won’t Leave The White House?

I’ve got a list of bookmarks as long as a CVS receipt declaring threats to the republic and democracy and the arrival of dictatorship. When I turn on cable news, the end of America as we know it—the literal end, as in North Korean-style lives for everyone—is a regular feature alongside weather and sports (back when we had sports). I’ve tried to make a career out of debunking that fear mongering. But now I’m scared too.

Joe Biden has announced his own fears. Biden (who despite appearances is the Democratic candidate for president) said he is “absolutely convinced” the military may have to remove President Trump from the White House if he refuses to leave after losing November’s election. Joe warned, “This president is going to try to steal this election…. It’s my greatest concern.” Asked whether he’d thought about what would happen if he wins but Trump decides not to leave, Biden responded: “Yes I have.” After mentioning the high-ranking former military officers who spoke out about Trump’s response to Black Lives Matter protests, he went on: “I’m absolutely convinced they will escort him from the White House.”

Biden has been saying this for months.

It’s one thing when goofy Michael Moore, Donny Deutsch, or Bill Maher muses about this for clicks, or an op-ed worries Trump will unleash a diversionary war in some Strangelovian bid to stay in office. Nearly everyone on Autonomous Free Twitter knows the voting will be rigged. Some knucklehead wrote a book about it based on a fan fiction reading of the 12th Amendment. Democrats have also voiced “concerns” that Trump might use the coronavirus crisis to delay or delegitimize the election.

But this is Joe Biden saying Trump will attempt some sort of unconstitutional coup. Joe Biden, who was vice president twice. Joe Biden, Lion of the Senate, and for several centuries the gray representative of the credit card industry. Joe Biden, who is not stupid, naive, or dramatic. Joe Biden, who is, however, just a pawn in the game. They’re setting it up, aren’t they?

The New York Times, as is its role, has already fired several signal flares. They characterized Trump as a cornered despot, capable of anything to avoid losing. In another article, the Times announced, “Trump Sows Doubt on Voting. It Keeps Some People Up at Night,” which quotes a Georgetown University law professor saying that “reactions have gone from, ‘Don’t be silly, that won’t happen,’ to an increasing sense of, ‘You know, that could happen.’” 

The professor even convened a group to brainstorm how Trump might disrupt the election and think about ways to prevent it. They speculated that Trump could declare a state of emergency, maybe COVID-related, banning polling places in battleground states from opening. Or Attorney General Barr could Comey-like announce a criminal investigation into Biden.

The online comment responses to the Times articles are amazing. People are ready for this. They are convinced Trump is defunding the post office so no one can mail in absentee ballots (the left imagines they’ll all be for Biden), and that Trump is sending out coded signals to his militias to take to the streets if it looks like he is losing. More than a few claim that what happens in November “will depend on where the military’s loyalty lies.” Many think the Supreme Court is a tool in all this, with Kavanaugh a lickspittle linchpin to enable the November coup through some sort of judicial invalidation of the election.

That Americans think this way is scary enough. But here’s my nightmare. After a long October of rumors from sources about some surprise (war with Iran, martial law in Seattle) fails to produce a surge in Never Trump voters, the media pivots to the cheating narrative. Trump is doing something with mail-in ballots, black people can’t get to the polls in Georgia, the attorney general in Kentucky will undercount urban areas. The media will explode like a ripe zit, splattering fake news, exaggerations, and experts, all with a single point to make: the results on Election Day will not be valid if Trump wins. Academics will fan the flames, bleating on about the importance of the popular vote and rehashing old arguments from 2016 about the invalidity of the Electoral College.

All will be forgotten faster than Robert-What’s-His-Name-Mueller if Biden wins. But if by pre-2016 standards Trump is the winner, boom! The media will refuse to concede. The Dems will issue strident local court challenges, demands for recounts, and emergency hearings in the House. They will want not a conclusion, but a crisis.

Trump will fulfill his role as his own worst enemy and hold rallies to re-declare victory over and over again. But the story everywhere else will be that he isn’t the president-elect, that the election was not legitimate, and that orange bad man’s presence in the White House after January 20 will be a Konstitutional Krisis. Privately the Democratic power brokers will whisper to their wealthy funders that something remarkably undemocratic has to be done to save our democracy.

What happens next is beyond guessing. A best case scenario is that some old school party graybeards get through to an exhausted and befuddled Biden and talk him out of it. A bad scenario has Obama emerging under the guise of being a neutral party to negotiate a (Democratic Party) conclusion. A very bad scenario has the same third-party actors who whipped Black Lives Matter protesters into a looting mob repeat the performance. By that point, nearly everyone will demand that the military step in, albeit for different reasons. A very, very bad scenario will have a real-world event intervene, like an enemy abroad taking advantage of the chaos. The need to act expeditiously will slip a “temporary” military government into place faster than CNN can play the breaking news music.

Paperback thriller material, right? But consider whether you thought Trump was a Russian sleeper agent before you call me paranoid. Since 2016, learned scholars have tested legal theories saying the Electoral College was invalid and created a constitutional Frankenstein based on the national popular vote. The idea that the election was invalid due to foreign influence still sullies discussion today. One political writer even continues to place an asterisk next to “President Trump*” to denote his questionable claim to the title.

For nearly four years, the same forces that may declare 2020 invalid tried very hard to convince us 2016 already was. There are plenty of Hillary people (including Hillary) who have not accepted 2016. Has Stacey Abrams really accepted her defeat yet? Think back to everything that happened during the last election, the gaming by Comey and the FBI to influence results. Remember how the intelligence community manipulated Russiagate. Why wait for November 2020 to have a coup? We’ve been in what Matt Taibbi calls a permanent coup for years. They’ve been practicing.

Any of the those things would have been considered crazy talk only a few years ago. None would have ever passed into the mainstream. Compare Russiagate to the Great Obama Birth Certificate kerfuffle. The idea that Obama was ineligible for office festered on right-wing talk radio. It was dismissed as fact-less by just about everyone else. Fast forward to 2016+ and America’s paper of record is happy to front a story claiming the president is subject to a foreign enemy’s blackmail based on nothing but desperate hope that it might be true.

The critical tool for the ending of democracy is people’s conditioned readiness to believe almost anything. The media tells the world what’s important using a very narrow range of truth, or just makes things up if truth is not around to be manipulated.

We are exhausted, neck-deep in cynicism, decline, and distrust. And scared. There are no facts anymore, only what people can be made to believe. That power was not well understood in 2016 and was clumsily applied. Today it is ripe for exploitation, far beyond generating clicks and ad revenue. I don’t think Trump will try to stay in office if he loses. But there are people who will tell us that to manipulate our fears and steal this election. That’s why I am finally scared.

Peter Van Buren, a 24-year State Department veteran, is the author of We Meant Well: How I Helped Lose the Battle for the Hearts and Minds of the Iraqi People,Hooper’s War: A Novel of WWII Japan, and Ghosts of Tom Joad: A Story of the #99 Percent.

The post What if Trump Won’t Leave The White House? appeared first on The American Conservative.