#99% of antis dont fucking harass people

[muzzledcorpse]

Proshippers continue to be dumb as fuck

[audiovisualrecall]

G-d the mob mentality/anti culture/bullying bullshit on this site is so bad it makes me so mad, like i refuse to believe any 'so and so is Problematique!!!' Posts about anyone anymore because 99% of the time its fucking bullshit and people believe it and harrass and hate on and bully people and feel gleeful and proud of themselves for sending death threats to people for having popular blogs or interacting with teens at all.

If i think an accusation is plausible i fucking do my research, and i dont join virtual lynch mobs or harass even the most horrible people. Ive sent maybe 2 self righteous angry anons in my 6 years on this website and in all of them i never told someone to kill themself or inplied they shouldnt exist or should delete their blog and i never repeatedly sent messages or spread rumors about them.

Like. I dont interact with new followers on this blog or with basically anyone on my art blog at all because damn one wrong move and you're fucked. I had one truly awful interaction with someone who i disagreed with morally, and ive had other disagreements with people, one went sour because at the time i was young and angry, and in the other case i was defending a friend's decision to focus on self care..., and in all three cases, i argued and then eventually gave up and blocked them and moved on with my life. (Not without regrets for 2/3, tho)

When i see someone nasty or bad or whatever i just block them and move on. If i find someone i dislike i dont make up shit about them and repeat it enough that people blindly believe me. I dont obsess over hating someone or make blogs solely for the purpose of hating on someone. Thats incredibly unhealthy.

Theres just. So many people, often teens but also adults who should fucking know better, on this website who are people i never ever want to interact with. They make me so angry. They are such horrid little brats, such twisted, vile people who pretend to themselves and everyone else that they have the moral high ground. Its just so unbelievably messed up.

I know its not just this website, but i think the format or maybe the lack of real moderation on here really allows this crap to flourish, to seep its poison further, it encourages and allows the mob mentality and furious, self righteous, proud nastiness of these people.

It makes me want to rage quit on humanity just as much as lots of other things and people in the world outside nd on the internet do. And part of me wants to hope that PF will be a better website, i want to just switch to there but theres too many friends here that are not on there, and i know that some of the same shittiness may follow anyway. People are horrible sometimes. Frequently. And i already saw some nonsense bs on pf too, but like i said... i dont get involved, usually. Almost vague posted an anger vent about it, but i couldnt articulate my argument well enough and decided it wasn't worth my time and moved on. Thats how i roll, let it go, try to be peaceful. Literal therapist advice influence there, but also my general inclination once i have time to breathe and think after initial tide of fury has run its course.

Anyway, just. This js sort of a journalling my anger about this out. I guess. And posting it because i am legitimately pissed about this nonsense and i wont stand for it happening anymore and if i had mod powers on a website like this i would use them freely to end this type of garbage.

[maddsmallow]

hi again.

okay so, this is a long one. like, this is STUPIDLY long and i'm absolutely going to put it under a read-more so i dont "do you like the color of the sky" everyone omfg. i am pleading with you to sit through it and read it all, and take in what i'm saying because i am saying all of this in good faith and i genuinely want you to have a good time with this ship and i just. can't help but feel like you aren't letting yourself because of your past experiences i guess on other sites that are way less chill than this one, and maybe that you don't really get the vibe of this website yet?? i dont know. making some assumptions here which may backfire, but. here we go.

so first, let's go through my original post point by point.

"as much as i disagree with seeing hank and connor as father and son, i'm just here to enjoy the ship like they're just here to enjoy them as a familial relationship."

this is true. 99% of fans (on this website) know to just stay in their little corners and not go out searching for shit they don't actually like. it's not really a new thing for people to actively search out what they don't like just to hate on it, but it definitely is a growing thing nowadays with the whole puritanical bullshit going on. still, i stand by the opinion that the vast majority of shipper and father/son enjoyers know to not cross the streams.

"stop fucking going out of your way to argue with and harass father-son enjoyers"

i very specifically state "going out of your way," meaning, shippers who go out of their way to argue that the ship is tooootally canon and seeing them as father and son is WRONG (which like, yeah i agree it is incorrect lmao but now's not the time) on f&s posts that did not have anything to do with them, no mentions or anything, or even on anti-hankcon posts which again don't mention them and is just someone throwing a pissy party about a ship. i did NOT mean the average fan just making and reblogging art and minding their own business. i feel like it goes without saying that this goes for both shippers and f&s people, but shippers are the only people who would even bother giving me the time of day (more on this later on in this post) so it's us who i direct this comment of "stop fighting" to. i feel like the vast majority of general dbh fans (on this site), aka those people minding their own business, are gonna read that, and did read that, and nod their head and be like, yeah i get it, makes sense. if you identify as someone who gets into a lot of fights with f&s people, that's on you.

"and giving them real reasons go actively dislike shippers other than just disliking the ship."

if you go after someone who did not start shit with you, just a casual father-son enjoyer enjoying their perceived familial relationship, that makes you a harasser, and that sucks. you're doing the same shit that you hate other people (extreme f&s/anti-hankcon/puritanical people) doing to you. if you are fighting unprompted, that's drama, and that sucks lmao. this is something i have not brought up in any of my responses after this original post, and that's completely my mistake for not clarifying. i lost the plot a bit and that's on me, and is why we're here to clean things up.

"stop interacting, just block 'em if it bothers you that much, and move on!! don't start like a fuckin ship war or some shit."

i stand by this. if you are a hardcore hankcon truther like myself, seeing fanworks with them as father and son can be annoying and grating. block the poster so you never have to see their stuff again. you don't have to tell them you're blocking them, you don't have to tell them how much you disagree with their view of hank and connor's relationship. you can just block them and move on happily knowing there's one less source of content you do not like contaminating your dashboard. this is us playing with barbies differently, and i can guarantee you most f&s people (on this site) don't want to mess with you, they just wanna play with their barbies their own way.

"fucking, touch grass."

i mean this in the most respectful way possible. go outside. step away from the computer. stop going on the cesspool that is tiktok, i beg you. enjoy the real world. that's sure as hell what i'm gonna do after wasting my life typing all this.

"i don't give a shit how much you disagree with 'the other side,' i don't want to be lumped into a group known for harassment cuz some of y'all can't just enjoy the damn ship and shut the fuck up."

i stand by this. hankcon shippers as far as i know aren't really known for causing drama (on this site)?? i think??? and i don't want that to start. good fucking lord i do not want this to be like [cringe memories incoming] hetalia and the usuk vs fruk ship war where a lot of the fruk reasonings against usuk were that they were totally father and son. like, instead of fighting and wasting our time, we could have just. blocked and moved on to the actual shit we did like. it's all fiction, it's all made up anyways. tumblr is one of the only places with a semblance of "ship and let ship"/"ykinmkato" left, and instead of fighting random strangers who are trying to stay in their own little safe hubs with other like-minded fandom people, we should also be staying in our own little safe hubs with other like-minded fandom people.

"i'm too old for this shit"

listen i'm almost 28. after posting this i'm literally just gonna turn right back around to thinking about hank and connor kissing with my other hankcon homies instead of going out to look for father-son people to pick fights with and draw in the attention of the big anti-hankcon puritanical freaks that can't be won over with logic. i'm too old for this shit LMAO. i am not absolving myself of guilt here when i voluntarily sat down to type all this shit and also could have just walked away LMAO but. i just wanted to make my points crystal clear. and then like, take a nap and do dishes or something idk

now, after this initial original post is where i mess up pretty majorly i think. i went from talking about shippers going out their way unprompted to mess with father-son enjoyers who weren't doing any hating, to talking about shippers fighting with the puritanical f&s people who just continue to hate and hate and hate because they feel they're on some moral crusade and can't see any logic or be persuaded in any other way, and the comments on the post started to get really heated (gonna be real, i did noooot read all that, but i got the gist). that's genuinely my mistake. that's not what my original post was about, as i have explained above.

that being said, let's go through your most recent response point by point with this original context in mind, because i lost the plot in my other replies to you and i want to be crystal clear, because unlike anti-hankcon puritanical weirdos, i still have faith that you can understand my reasoning whereas i do not have that same faith with puritanicals and therefore dont waste my energy on them. i'll say this many times in the coming rambles.

"You are telling this us, hankcon shippers, not fathersonners."

yes! you know why? because i'm not in the circle of father-son enjoyers!!! that's not my turf! i have no place there, and i'm not about to invade the safe space of f&s people because making a post about how i think the people i disagree with fucking suck is just bad manners and is ASKING for drama. you know what i can do tho? i can express my opinions and critique on the actions of the actual group i'm in. the actual turf i have ground on and not "the other side" because i know how to stay in my lane. telling the actual group i'm a part of that i think we're heading in a bad direction is like, standard shit. going to the other side to police what they're doing is crossing the line.* let the f&s side of the fandom run themselves into the ground by being insufferable, don't bring that energy over here. this isn't tiktok where you have to fight for your right to exist as a shipper or something. your fellow shippers are here and ready to love these two dorky characters with you if you'd just stop arguing all the time.

but then you may be going, aha, you admit it yourself! you're policing hankcon shippers!! and like, maybe?? i guess if you wanna call it that?? this whole thing makes me think of this scene from good omens

not that i mean to equate myself to jesus getting fucking crucified 😬 that's too much, i'm just a random shipper lmao kdgdjdhsh. no no, i just mean, i said (albeit in a very colorful way because i was annoyed) "hey stop fighting" and now here we are, 100+ notes later, fighting about that.

*but maddy, you say, they do it to us all the time! that's not fair!! and like. yeah, you're right, it's fuckin not. but that doesn't happen so much on tumblr and it's easy to cultivate your dashboard with blocking blogs and tags. you can have a good time here i swear if you just stay in the hankcon tag and block any f&s assholes who invade the tag. easy peasy, they're gone, you don't even gotta tell them what they're doing sucks. trust me, they know, they want your reaction if they're purposefully invading the tag to be a shit about the ship.

i feel like i need to make a point here about how tumblr doesnt work on an algorithm like tiktok or whatever else does. you can get rid of all the "suggested" or "shit your mutuals like" stuff and JUST see the stuff from what/who you very specifically follow, and then on top of that you can blacklist tags. this site doesnt work like tiktok. if you dont go into the "anderfam" or whatever tag and you have that blacklisted, you will essentially not ever see father-son content. you don't have to fight for your right to party here man, we're already here and partying and we're just waiting on you to calm down enough from the shit show that is "the other websites" to join in in the fun. the occasional hater can very easily be blocked in this site.

"me: 'acting like i'm calling you a monster for wanting to defend yourself is taking my words wildly out of proportion'

s: Sure, now lets see what you said

me: 'stop fucking going out of your way to argue with and harass father-son enjoyers'

s: Now who harasses them? Because everything I see in this fandom since 2018 is them harassing hankcon shippers, yet you ignore this."

point exactly to where in this i call you a monster. because i don't. you're jumping to conclusions because of your past experiences instead of listening to what i'm saying.

"But they of course do not give us real reasons to dislike fathersonners? Is that what you're saying?"

again, never said that. never once did i say f&s people were the "good guys" or completely innocent. as i said in my above breakdown of my original post, i meant casual fans who do not fight with shippers and stay in their little safe fandom spaces. you misunderstood.

"Everything we want is to ship in peace, yet these people constantly harass us and you are telling me it is we are the group known of harassment just because we dare to react? Sounds like victim blaming."

i did not say hankcon shippers are known for harassment, i said i do not want hankcon shippers to become known for harassment, because (on this site) i don't think we have that reputation, because it's still very "ship and let ship" here. i meant shippers who go out of their way to fight f&s people unprovoked just because they disagree with the father-son relationship instead of just blocking and moving on.

we will circle back to talking about victim blaming later.

now, let's take that last bit of what you said in the context of you reacting to hate you receive on this website (because this is really all i have any knowledge on lmao) instead of you going looking for a fight like i had originally meant. you get a bad comment. a disgusting repulsive comment, or an ask in your inbox calling you horrible terrible things. it's fucking awful, and you in no way whatsoever deserve it. i'm not going to sit here and pretend like what these puritanical weirdos are doing with sending so much accusatory and frankly obnoxious shit is anywhere close to fine. it isn't, it sucks, and it wears you down. it's genuinely just like, people showing some of their worst colors. but you can't convince them to stop, they feed off of the fact that they got a response from you and know that it bothered you. they think they just need to poke and prod you more and you'll finally break and they'll have won this fight in their made-up moral crusade to purify the internet of anything they think is wrong. it's not fair that hankcon shippers get so fucking much of that for no fucking reason, especially on other websites/apps. but in the context of it happening on tumblr, all you can do is block. you can't convince them to leave you alone, but deleting their comment or deleting their ask from your inbox essentially renders everything they said to you null. no one will ever know they said anything. you took away their voice and eventually they'll get bored of not getting a response from you. hell, they probably KNOW what they're doing is wrong but they like it anyways. you can't convince them, but you can block and keep enjoying your ship anyways which shows incoming shippers that there are people thriving with the ship.

"me: 'stop interacting, just block 'em if it bothers you that much,'

s: They cannot do this too? So, we have to stop interacting, block them—"

yeah no, again, i'm not gonna go onto the f&s turf/tag and tell them what to do. they're not gonna listen to me because i instantly lost all credibility and respect they could have had for me just because i like hankcon. which like, yeah that sucks to be judged by what you ship, but doesn't it go the same the other way 'round? someone is a father-son enjoyer and we immediately go "oh, whatever, i don't care about what you may have to say, if you see them as father and son i don't trust any of your other opinions" ?

"—while they keep making insulting vids about us and calling us pedophiles and incest supporters... and nobody cares?

listen, these puritanical people are gonna have their little wanks in their corners that they can't just keep themselves contained to, and no amount of arguing is going to convince them that their actions or opinions are wrong. and look, you even mentioned videos, like on tiktok or whatever. we're not on tiktok. it doesn't work the same way here. you don't have to fight anyone here because blocking actually works, and shit doesn't work on algorithms here so you'll never just randomly draw in anti-hankcon people because their algorithm decided to put your video on their fyp. no, someone would either not have the hankcon tag blacklisted and accidentally see your post from a mutual reblogging it (to which the vast majority of people would go "eugh, no thank you," block you without question, and then move on. and good for them! that's exacrly what cultivating your own online experience should be like!) or go into the hankcon tag on purpose to be a jackass. and in that case, usually us shippers will tell each other "oh yeah this person sucks, might as well block them before they start shit on your own posts," and then we basically never have to worry about them again lmao.

i can't speak for reddit or tiktok or even twitter because i really do not have all that much experience with those sites so i dont know how shit works there, but the best way to shut up people here who actively send you hate is to not pay them any attention. delete their comments, delete their asks, limit who can reply to your stuff. and if in any of that they call you awful nasty things, YOU know you arent a predator. the rest of us know you arent just for liking a damn fictional ship between a human and a robot. why give them the satisfaction of knowing them calling you that is bothering you, why give them the drive to keep poking at you? because we know they will, they don't have the empathy to stop or listen to logic. don't give them that power over you, and when you feel really worn down from it all, come back to your group of fellow shippers and have them build you back up again with this ship that we love so dearly.

me: 'and move on!!'

s: They never do, yet you are still blaming the shippers."

yeah, they literally wont move on. it's been six years of this and they're still poking and prodding at you, and the eternal arguing hasn't changed any of their minds. it is an established fact that they can't shut the fuck up or see the light, because they think they're morally correct and on some quest to ~cleanse~ the internet or some shit. stop going on tiktok and putting yourself through that. tumblr is a shit website but at the very least it's much more chill about fandom stuff as far as i've been able to see. we're not completely free of getting hate because you're never completely free of getting hate on the internet, but we can do our part of not bringing the toxic tiktok culture over here and instead just stay in our tags with our shipping homies.

"me: 'don't start like a fuckin ship war or some shit.'

s: We start... not them? Right."

what i'm saying is stop going after f&s enjoyers who haven't done any provoking because that will push them towards that feeling of "wow hankcon shippers are crazy, maybe these puritanical people are onto something." the puritanical crusade f&s people have always considered this a war, and what i'm saying is, is that there's no need to pull in anyone else on the f&s side who's just minding their own business when we can just stop responding to the puritanical bullshit hate and essentially end their entire speaking platform and the whole ""war."" that'll just keep them in their little wank corners to sob and cry about how miserable and pathetic they are about strangers enjoying a ship no matter how much time and energy they put into trying to make us feel bad about it, meanwhile we're fuckin thriving. i'm saying, stop pulling more people into this when we can essentially just push the haters to the side lmao. and again, this is from a tumblr user point of view. tiktok and reddit as far as im concerned are a lost cause.

"And again, you're addressing shippers, not fathersonners or any hankcon hater. Does that mean they can do whatever they want but we cannot ever react or feel bad about it?"

no, but like i said, i have no say in their group. shit, i don't even really have any say in this group of hankcon shippers, i was just complaining in my first post because i saw us going in a bad direction with engaging more with drama. i didnt even tag the damn post with dbh or hankcon. i am addressing shippers, because i am one and i am part of this group. the "other side" has to sort their own shit out. fighting from "our side" hasnt worked, and wont work. and you can react and feel however the fuck you want man. emotions are natural, especially negative ones when you get hit with the awful shit anti-hankcon people send. but maybe you could spend more of your time with other shippers enjoying the ship and taking away the platform of the hate instead of bringing yourself down and going into anti-hankcon tags to argue with someone who doesn't actually care what you say and just wants you to feel bad about the ship.

"It's funny that you call hankcon shippers 'a group known for harassment' while it is fathersonners/haters harass us most of the time but as soon as we fight back even a little we are the ones who are called monsters. Don't you think there is a lack of logic here?"

no, i think you completely misunderstood what i said. i never said hankcon shippers (on this site) are a group known for harassment, i said i dont want us to become a group known for harassment.

and again, i personally did not call you or anyone who fights with anti-hankcon/puritanicals monsters. nowhere in any of my text can you find me saying that or even implying it. maybe implying that it's annoying to see the fighting because i see it as completely useless on this website where blocking is easy and works, but that's about it. you are putting words into my mouth because you inherently expect hate from people because of this ship, which i have been assuming has been because tiktok is a cesspool of shit and drama. i am not hating on you. i am simply trying to tell you that i think fighting is pointless here on tumblr when you could focus on the good shit and block the bad shit as much as you have to. and anyways, haters on tiktok are not gonna listen to you anyways. they are not coming from a place of good faith, they are coming from a place of needing to feel morally superior. i don't know how you survived that for however long you did before coming over here. kudos to you i guess, but i cannot stress enough how you do not need to fight like hell for this ship here. you can just be, and block the annoying people who dont like the ship.

i dont want to hop into the hankcon tag and see discourse or fighting. and for the most part, i dont! but in the last year or so, there's been a growing handful of hankcon shippers who just keep fuckin bringing up drama in the tags, and i both dont wanna see it and dont want people outside of this drama to see it via reblogs or something and start to feel some sort of way about hankcon shippers. let the f&s/anti-hankcon people dig themselves into an awful reputation the rest of the fandom cant stand. we dont have to do that too when we can just block and move on and keep the tag a happy place for our fav boys.

"me: 'cuz some of y'all can't just enjoy the damn ship'

s: That's exactly what we do! But the hate never stops!"

that's true, and it fucking sucks. it's not fair that we get so much vitriol for a ship we love so dearly. it's stupid that you can't just voice your love for these two dorks on tiktok or reddit, and twitter is really hit or miss. and yet, on this site where it's especially easy to cultivate your own little mostly-safe bubble, you continue to engage with the hate and give these anti-hankcon/puritanical shitheads a platform instead of deleting their shit and silencing them completely, assuming you aren't actively going out to look for that shit because this site doesn't run on an algorithm if you have the settings right.

"me: 'and shut the fuck up.'

s: Yes, because that's what you usually say to people who just want to openly love their ship without hiding it, who are tired of constantly hiding and staying in the shadows because of the fear of getting tons of hate."

man, stop going on tiktok, twitter, and reddit. i know i've said it like fifteen times already but i'm so serious right now. stop doing that to yourself lmao. like, should you be afraid to go on those sites because of a fictional ship? no, it's stupid that you'd get so much hate for something so inconsequential. but it's also your choice what sites you visit and post on, and you can't be mad about finding mines in a minefield. tumblr is pretty accepting of the ship, and twitter can be alright if you don't manage to cross hater's dashes, and as i've said many times now, it's real easy to cultivate your experience here with blocking blogs and tags. the other three sites are garbage anyways tho, you can't really expect better from them in general. idk i don't really have a good response to this one other than, it really fucking sucks that you felt the need to "hide" because of a fictional ship, but this place is pretty accepting while the other places aren't, so maybe just don't go to those other places? you don't have to fight here. you're good. you can chill. this isnt tiktok.

"me: 'that you couldn't even take my real point'

s: Which one? The one that tells us to shut up?"

lol

"me: 'you're so used to being called a monster'

s: So maybe shut up those who are calling hankcon shippers monsters, no?"

like i've said, those people wont listen. they havent and they wont. it's literally up to you at this point to either drop it and let it go or keep letting these people get to you.

"me: 'i think YOU are scaring away these hypothetical new shippers by creating a vitriolic and toxic environment by, again, giving the people who send hankcon shippers hate a platform to spew that hate.'

s: Victim blaming again. So you are blaming me, an actual hankcon artist, who spent 6 years in the shadows because of fathersonners and haters you defend instead of shutting up the actual haters and fathersonners who overstep and who are the ones creating a platform to spew that hate? Got it."

ah right, victim blaming. time to circle back to that.

here is the definition of victim blaming from wikipedia: "Victim blaming occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them."

now, i very well could be seen as doing this, because i DID say in another response that giving these anti-hankcon/puritanicals a platform (on this site) for their shit by continuing to respond to them just draws them in again and again, and draws in others as well because they go "aha! this one's an easy target!" and like. yeah, i guess i am victim blaming here if that's really what you want to call it? i don't really know what else to say about that, other than i stand with what i said. you are actively going to these anti-hankcon places on the internet and giving these shitheads attention, and more flock to you because of it. you're going into a minefield and being surprised there's mines. like, i dunno what else to tell you other than maybe stop doing that and you'll see the hate for this ship go dramatically down. it's like trying to shoo away a wasp, except the wasp chose to be a wasp and refuses to change to anything less scary/mean. it could have just been scary and then left, but you swiped at it and then it stung, and that's kind of on you.

also, "defending fathersonners." if they're just doing their own thing and minding their own business, like i said in the original post, then yeah, i will defend them even if i sincerely disagree with then on hank and connor's relationship. because going into their space and fucking it up is the same shit we hate hardcore f&s people doing. once again, it's the whole "stay in your lane" thing and the whole "i directed this at fellow shippers specifically because that is another form of staying in my lane." in no way in any of this have i defended anyone who goes out of their way to fight over this shit. both "sides" of hankcon and anti-hankcon fucking suck when you do that shit and it created such a toxic environment that i don't want dragged from tiktok over to here.

"I don't engage in drama and just focus on the damn ship—"

girl yeah you fuckin do, be for real. quick scroll of your blog and i already have a handful of examples—you arguing on my post multiple times because you just could not get what i was saying, you calling hankcon shippers an oppressed group of people (are you kidding me? we are playing with fictional barbies here, not talking about systematically marginalized people), you reblogging a post that equates liking hankcon to politics (these are fictional characters, not ideologies that change people's standards of living), another post by that same person with a long ass rant about the validity of hankcon to anti-hankcon people who are never gonna read it or give a shit about any of the points made, another post by that same person trying to delegitimize multiple other non-hankcon ships that include connor (again, we're just playing with our fictional barbies here? none of this is canon, it's all just for funsies. you're doing the same shit you hate people doing to you.)—and both of the last three examples have "if you dont like hankcon, dont talk to me" at the end of the posts—and a rant from you about how gavin sucks ("i do not like getting into arguments but i couldnt pass by this one"). that's just a quick scroll, not even a whole month of reblogs. the vibes are RANCID. you say you dont want drama, but that is all drama. just because only one of those things wasnt about hankcon doesn't make it not drama. i'm not trying to be mean, i'm sincerely trying to get you to see that the shit you're engaging with is tiring you out and making people wary because of your attitude, and that you're putting a bad taste in your own mouth by doing this.

"And you are still blaming the shippers for reacting to hate towards our ship, but not those who spread that hate."

i have explained this multiple times already, i will not again

"What welcome community are you talking about if the first thing a hankcon shipper sees is hate and aggression?"

literally what the fuck are you talking about? go to the hankcon tag. like, actually right now. the first handful of posts are all beautiful art (yours included!) and people talking about how darling hank and connor are together. that seems pretty welcoming to me, multiple people right there to follow to enjoy this ship together with. if you're talking like, tiktok or something again, i can't help you there. like i said earlier, maybe dont go there if it's so bad? people who want to ship hankcon can find their way to twitter and tumblr where it's better. maybe put out a video on tiktok for other hankcon shippers saying tumblr is better or something if you feel like risking also bringing those shithead anti-hankcon teens over here? idk man, but the welcoming community here is right fuckin there ready for more people

"And shippers cannot even defend themselves because as soon as they do you will tell them that they are the ones to blame? You, again, are blaming the victim, not the ones who produce hate and aggression. You understand that you need to fight the source of the disease and only then the consequences of it otherwise it won't work? And you are the one who supports the source."

again, i've gone over this multiple times and you're just continuing to shove your finger in my face. like, i very clearly am blaming people who send hate. which includes hankcon shippers. doesn't mean i support father-son hate senders. you are once again putting words into my mouth because you refuse to see my point.

"You are shutting hankcon shippers up, not fathersonners, not haters, but shippers."

ONCE AGAIN, i have explained/cleared this up

"me: 'and i don't want to be lumped into a group with that reputation'

s: Well of course, we are a group with such a reputation, not haters/fathersonners who are direct sources of aggression, discomfort and hatred towards the ship and the shippers."

again, i've explained this already

"You do not tell fathersonners/haters and hankcon shippers to coexist, you are blaming the shippers."

girl what in the hell,, my original post said hankcon shippers should stop going out of their way to fight father-son enjoyers who didn't even say anything to provoke them. i was saying stop making unprovoked comments on someone's f&s post, tagged correctly and minding their own business, just because you disagree with them. i was saying just block and move on if f&s shit crosses your dash and don't go in guns blazing just because you don't like that content like the shitty people on tiktok do or whatever. that's literally ~coexisting~. i'm blaming hankcon shippers who purposefully go looking for fights to be fucking annoying to casual f&s peoole instead of, yknow, not purposefully looking for a fight and instead just enjoying the damn ship—i'm blaming them of being fucking annoying for doing the same fucking unprovoked shit anti-hankcon people do to us. and again, the reason i don't go after them had been explained a multitude of times already. you misunderstood everything i sad.

"All the conclusions I made about this fandom are that hankcon shippers have no right to express their opinion here. No matter how kind and quiet you are, no matter how much you contribute to the ship, no matter how much you want to just ship in peace, as soon as you try express your opinion, to protect yourself and your interests from the hatred that has been following us since 2018, you will immediately be accused of everything terrible and shut up."

i think the one constant here is you, not hankcon as a ship. you say you want to ship in peace and yet time and time again i see you on your blog reblogging drama and adding your own rants. you say you dont want drama and then you keep engaging with drama. you could simply just not do that. you can block f&s posts and move on knowing full well there is no algorithm there to bring up even more hate. i've said it before but i'm so serious: this is not tiktok. you dont have to fight to be able to ship hankcon here. you don't have to argue or debate the validity or the canon-ness of the ship because we're all just gonna ship it anyways the same way people ship reed900 even tho they never meet in canon and 900 is hardly even a character at all. we're all just slappin our barbies together in different ways here. this is not tiktok. you do not have to argue for your ship here. just ship the damn thing and block when the occasional asshole pops into your comments.

"The funniest thing is, I have never seen shippers of other pairings treated like this, even when they are a part of 'hankcon shippers must die' team. This fandom is the epitome of hypocrisy and double standards."

again i'm just gonna chalk this up to some tiktok bullshit cuz idk man

so here are some of my final thoughts. your experience liking this ship has SUCKED because of shitty people online on shitty websites and i'm genuinely sad for you. like, i am so fucking sorry about all the harassment you've faced over a harmless ship. i wish you hadnt gone through all that and that you can continue forward and keep getting joy from the ship. it's a great ship! god i love them so much and i so badly want you to just be able to exist as a hankcon shipper online without any hate! your extreme defensiveness is a reaction from the prior hate, and i get it, i do, but it's also extremely off-putting to many casual fans and does you no service. i mean this so genuinely.

and, at some point you gotta stop expecting reactionary anti-hankcon shitheads to not be reactionary. you telling them to stop it just fanning the flames. that's kind of their whole thing, being reactionary. it's just not gonna work, especially on tiktok where it's a fuckton of stupid teens who think they're doing that for your own good, so they just go at you harder. it's so much easier to block people here on tumblr and cultivate your own little safe space, and while there are plenty of anti-hankcon people on this site, there's no like, big ol' group just waiting in the shadows to get you like it seems to be on tiktok. you might come across some of those anti-hankcon people occasionally, but if you really are not participating in posts that are stirring up drama (like you do now) and reinforcing this mindset you have that everyone is out to get you, then for the most part you wont come across them because tumblr users are, again for the most part, very good at staying in their little fandom circles with other like-minded fans. many of the hankcon shippers i know that have been in the fandom for years or even since the very beginning that have stayed almost exclusively on tumblr have had little to no hate interactions because of that. you dont have to worry or be on guard so much here.

you've dealt with a lot. it's really sad! i mourn for you! but i am also pleading with you to work on the skill of being able to get off the internet and walk away (am i being hypocritical here because here i am writing this whole ass fuckin essay? probably lmao, whoops). you seem to get so worked up and start to spiral and like, i mean this as someone who genuinely wants better for you—learn to take a step back. give yourself some time to breathe for your own wellbeing, yknow?

there's plenty of shippers here and on twitter and in more closed off spaces and we all get along pretty well by, quite literally, just ignoring and not reading the shit we dont like haha. someone has a headcanon or a story idea for the characters that i dont like? okay well, i'll check back in tomorrow and see if the topic has changed to something i do like. that's just how we get along, both within and outside of hankcon circles. we gotta put up with what we dont like sometimes, and a lot of father-son folk arent super good at dealing with that, but we can be better.

and i know i said this in a comment earlier today, but i just want to reiterate that i harbor no hate towards you. we may disagree on things, but that doesnt mean i have any ill will towards you or even that i actively dislike you. i want you to enjoy this ship safely and happily. i want you to have a good time on this site. i just also think you are preventing yourself from that by bringing over the culture from other toxic places and expecting the same here when that is not the case. you can make your own space or join other little hankcon corners with sooo much less worry here than you've had to have before. i promise. and if in the process of cultivating your experience here you decide you need to block me because you disagree with me, i very much urge you to do so, and i mean that in the nicest and most respectful way possible. you have a lot of control over what you want or dont want to see on this site, and if that means not me, that is absolutely your right and i will hold no judgement for you about it for doing what you feel is right.

i guess last thing to say is i'm also just a silly human so if i left something out or said something that i thought made sense but it actually didnt at all, or if something i said here differs from a previous comment i made, that's why. i make mistakes.

if you read all this, i genuinely appreciate your time and i hope you take what i've said to heart coming from another hankcon shipper who just wants the best for you and for the hankcon community as a whole here on tumblr. :) thanks

i'm gonna go cuddle my cats now and take a break from the internet cuz WHEW this was a DOOZY

listen as much as i disagree with seeing hank and connor as father and son, i'm just here to enjoy the ship like they're just here to enjoy them as a familial relationship. stop fucking going out of your way to argue with and harass father-son enjoyers and giving them real reasons go actively dislike shippers other than just disliking the ship. stop interacting, just block 'em if it bothers you that much, and move on!! don't start like a fuckin ship war or some shit. fucking, touch grass. i don't give a shit how much you disagree with "the other side," i don't want to be lumped into a group known for harassment cuz some of y'all can't just enjoy the damn ship and shut the fuck up. jesus christ. i'm too old for this shit

[reginaldqueribundus]

99% done with this website

i thought i’d heard every bit of misapplied stupidity this dung heap had to offer when i was told

white people aren’t allowed to cosplay as a purple space alien

drawing mr spock with slightly greenish skin is a hate crime despite the fact that he has green blood

being sexually attracted to the wrong race of alien lizard people means you support nazism

artists shouldn’t draw xmas sweaters on fictional 23rd century spacemen because the actors who play some of them (the actors, not the characters) are jewish, and anyone who disagrees is an anti semite

I also once expressed disgust/amazement that there was already a blog shipping orson krennic and jyn erso a full month before rogue one even came out, only to be told by a complete stranger that I shouldn’t “crosstag” (what?) because it’s triggering to survivors.

and then, based on my response to that fourth one, some teenage trash goblin decided to tell me i “hate jews” which i am sure will cause no end of disappointment among my numerous jewish relatives, you absolute fuckwagon.

im fed up. im tired of ignorant little “ur fav is problematic!” shit hats running around peeing on the stuff i like and calling everybody a bigot because they think their headcanon should be real and anything can be oppression if you squint hard enough. forget twitter, tumblr should be the one with the bird logo because it’s full of screeching featherbrained fucklords either squawking at the top of their lungs or parroting whatever stupid thing they heard, never once having an original thought, vomiting the same half digested discourse into each others open mouths and shitting everywhere. it plays hell with my anxiety and sucks away the energy i want to use for discussing actual issues that matter. im mostly here for fun fandom shit but that doesn’t mean i don’t want to talk about charlottesville, colonialism, perceptions of mental illness in society, hell i even want to talk about how unfair it is that batman and superman got 14 movies between them before wonder woman even got one, but im too busy defending myself to some 12 year old who says im hitler because i dont think kara zor-el is a lesbian. you think you’re doing some great thing but really you’re just trivializing the issue and ruining any chance at a serious discussion.

i joined this hell site in spite of what i’d heard about it because i thought it would be a fun easy way to share my thoughts on pop culture and couldn’t possibly be all that bad. but sweet buttery breakdancing buddha on a biplane, i was wrong. i’ve tried to stay away from it but y’all have driven me so close to just up and walking away from all my followers, my mutuals, my friends, from the one place where i get to fucking talk about star trek because its the only place where i know people who love it as much as i do. the one outlet i have, and you self fellating jack in the boxes wana ruin it for me. all because the only emotion you’re capable of feeling is the smug satisfaction of telling someone they’re wrong. god forbid anyone make an honest mistake out of genuine lack of knowledge, because some self righteous fuckbucket will appear behind them like a goddamn anime ninja to give them a lecture which they probably won’t even fucking understand because they haven’t leaped facefirst up tumblr’s cancerous, prolapsed rectum and memorized every bit of shitwit special terminology it has to offer.

you have nothing meaningful to contribute, so you take some sociopolitical concept you read about one time and start slapping it onto every book or cartoon you read/watch, regardless of whether it fits, throw in a couple of buzzwords you don’t fully understand and voila! suddenly you have an excuse to go around telling people they’re not having fun the right way, all while being immune to criticism because you’re “calling out” biphobia / ableism / whatever. if anyone disagrees with you just harass the shit out of them because let’s face it you have nothing better to do. then when they finally break down in tears and block you / get so frustrated they stop responding, you get to sit smugly in front of your keyboard and jerk yourself off thinking about what a good person you are.

i never use the term sjw because im not some transphobic assmaster from reddit or 4chan who thinks racial slurs are hilarious, but even if i did, it wouldn’t fucking apply here because you flapping circus clown labias aren’t fighting for justice. you’re only fighting for yourselves.

god help me if it wasn’t for some of y’all i’d pack my star trek shit in a hobo bindle and flip this place the bird on the way out. i love you guys. you know who you are. sorry about the rant im so tired

[fishfem]

ok first off both "op and the person you reblogged this from" are lesbians. taking offense with this because it's treating a lesser problem as equivalent to literal fucking porn.

just take a moment there.

secondly, no actually i dont think yaoi is affecting gay men too much. none of them get involved with it at most they have to deal with the occasional extremely fetishistic girl, but no, it is not NEARLY on the same level as what lesbians are experiencing, and i will not pretend it is. with social media, they have faced more harassment, however they still largely have many totally gay male only spaces irl, they are not exactly lacking.

you wanna know what IS majorly affecting gay men? gay porn.

yaoi has literally NOTHING on what gay porn is doing. gay porn is literally a rotten core in gay male subcultures. if you wanna go campaign for the boys, go talk about gay porn.

frankly, i will not be doing so. my focus is on women and i dont think thats a bad thing. i am against porn as a whole, so i'm already agaisnt gay porn. i'm not going to go out of my way to campaign for the men specifically. have they done it for lesbian porn? straight porn? i'll support any movements they make to deal with the issues of porn in their community, but i'm not doing it for them.

lastly, the affects of yaoi rape tropes on women is not what this conversation or the mocking of the boyfriends comic was ever about. i do think these are conversations that we should actually have, but when they're constantly derailed to talk about how yaoi is harming the poor widdle gay men, and to shit on any woman who has ever even touched slash, you're gonna have to do a lot more to convince me these are the topics being addressed.

.

tl;dr—

1. yaoi is a drop in the sea compared to gay porn, and it affects women are more than men, so why is the conversation focused on men?

2. i do not owe gay men a specialized focus in my anti porn conversations. i will support them, sure, but i'm not doing it for them when i'm already aiming for porn abolition altogether.

3. while yaoi has undoubtedly produced a few extremists and some harassment for gay men, it is nowhere near the effects of lesbian porn on lesbians, hence it being an insulting comparison, and also, gay men are frankly mostly unaffected by it as they still have plenty of irl spaces. if you talk to most gay men they at best just view fujos as obnoxious faghags. sure there's ones crying for pity on radblr, but think about why men would be circling radblr trying to go "woe is me!". if they really cared about gay men wouldn't they be addressing the biggest problem instead of getting feminist women to coddle them.

4. we should talk about yaoi's negative effects on women, but the boyfriends comic is not an example (in fact it's hilariously obsessed with an extremely sterile concept of consent, as seen in the short being passed around for mocking) of the rape tropes, and people here are, 99% of the time, just mocking it without cause beyond it being cringy as fucking hell. which would be fine, but they're pretending its feminist to do it, and it's not. attacking women in the name of centering men aint it.

5. ofc some lesbians may be more angry at seeing trans homophobia than others. that's valid. but again, is this random niche cartoon really the big break? are gay men's communities being ravaged by evil yaoi bandits or do they still have plenty of gay beaches and bars and bathhouses? are you attacking these women because it's actually productive or because it feels good?

yaoi isn't even remotely equivalent to lesbian porn and i'm tired of everyone pretending it is. stop minimizing women's problems just so you can feel good about making it a problem that affects both sexes. i understand finding solidarity with gay men but literally, y'all cape SO hard against fujos when the vast, vast majority are completely and utterly harmless, while the average man who jerks off to lesbian porn already hurt the women involved in the making of it, as well as goes on to be a violent porn addicted male. frankly i'm tired of it. women's immorality will always be persecuted far more, even by other women, but after seeing y'all gang up together to act like a random niche trans webtoon is the end of the world, i'm tired of it. yes it's cringe. move on. we have actual problems that can't be solved with just mocking the boyfriends comic.

[oflgtfol]

ans its especially stressful bc like. okay my anti vs shipper experiences have mostly grown from the voltron fandom. where the antis were us teenagers, i was 15 at the time and most other antis were around my age as well, and LIKE 99% of the shippers were grown ass adults in their 20s, ans they were shipping 17 year olds (MAX!) with 25 year old shiro, or worse they shipped 15 YEAR OLD pidge with 25 year old shiro and its like. ITS DISGUSTING! ITS UGLY AND ITS NASTY AND it was so evident how it was literally all us minors bandjng together to say HEY! you adults are making us uncmfortable and unsafe with how you sexualize minor characters and put them in relationships with such unhealthy age gaps! ans the adults literally fucking bullied and harassed the big name antis, like 14 year olds, off tumblr and it was literally such a fucking shit show

so thats my context for shippers vs antis. shippers have become synonymous with creepy fandom adults in my mind and antis, in common fandom culture, are simply people with morals who dont want to see pedophilia and incest romanticized in fiction but shippers are the ones who are like OH NO PURITANS!!!

so now in this small fandom though the shippers are mainly minors??? and the 5 big name antis are literally all adults in their 20s and its like. OHMY GOD! you are adults stop fucking harassing teenagers whats fucking wrong with you! abd its so hard to reconcile the idea that shippers ARENT adults, and now antis ARE the adults with weird boundaries regarding minors and its like ok i’ll admit yeah i have a bit of cognitive dissonance going on ans its stressful seeing the situatuon reversed like this but ultimately its like NONE of you are in the right anyway! the big name antis should shut the fuck up bc 1. Harassment is NEVER okay and ESPECIALLY when most of the ppl you are targeting are 5 years younger than you!!! literally grow the fuck up why are you picking fights with 15 year olds !!!!!!!! but also 2. these are real ass people you cannot treat them like fictional characters!!!!!!! and the situations gotten so hostile and toxic that i feel like i cant even take a firm stance as an anti without being lumped in with the big name assholes even though i hate them too and its like I HATE that now being an anti is controversial just because of the actions of like FIVE people and now the entire fucking tag is blowing up with shippers being all like haha LOUD AND PROUD 💜 YES I SHIP REAL PEOPLE YES DEHUMANIZE THEM YES I AM PROUD OF THIS <3 YOU WILL NOT KNOCK ME DOWN! ans its so infuriating like you arent in the right either bro!!!!! im sorry that these assholes are being despicable ppl but that still doesnt make dehumanizing other people for your ships right either !!!!

this small fandom im in is so fucking annoying bc its like . real people shipping. and uyes some big name antis are horrendous people and i hate their guts too bc theyre just so fucking depiscable but then shippers are like ANTIS IN GENERAL ARE BIG MEANIES FUCK YOU like oh so its suddenly fine to treat real people like fictional characters just because like 5 antis are being evil