#90% speculative fiction

[fauvester]

ouuuu our closegoodfriend

[distortedsense]

)art for my fantasy novel THE DAY MY DREAM DIED

[limbdolly]

Thats it, thats the whole show 🙃

[strinak]

shocking how much of, like, me as a person can be traced back to my having spent the ages of roughly 10 to 15 as basically a feral child with unlimited library access

[hey-its-sybarite]

Bruh I’m still regularly thinking about a fic so old you could only get it as a txt file (Oklahoma by Amp & Liv 1995). One of the writers has since sadly passed away. In my Dropbox I have saved a fic I was obsessed with from the year I finished high school (Void by Waxjism 2002). I gotta a have copy in there - just in case.

I think about these stories all the time. And so many others. Pivotal X-Files and Due South slash fic. BtVS periodfic now lost to time. Sports Night. So much Anne Rice fic lost in legal purges back from before they were even called fics. The thing that strikes me about so much of it now is wow, they were often so violent. The closet loomed so large. No one understood bisexuality. The misogyny was an issue. And man, it was just white tv dudes, as so much of canon dictated. They had such an impact, though. Huge, for me.

Do you ever read a fanfic that is just so good it just sticks with you into days or even weeks after you’ve read it. Like you could be sitting in class or alone in your room and suddenly you’re just like, wow, that was a really good fanfic. Like it was really good.  

[jaysng]

Which body shape pr type of body would enha hyung line will be into? You know like more into a western body (Tyla,Billie Eilish,Megan thee stallion) Or into east asian curvy type (Sohee Alice,Giselle,Chaeryeong not shy era,Momo,Ryujin wannabe era,Karina) Or into really skinny model type bodies (Kate moss 90s,Amy winehouse,Wonyoung,Yuna,Angelina Jolie)

BODY TYPES ENHYPEN HYUNG LINE WOULD BE INTO

just a speculation !

note: don’t come at me if your body type isn’t mentioned. none of this is real it’s only fictional nonsense (๑･̑◡･̑๑)

heeseung:

can imagine him whipped for two types, one is the most obvious hourglass ‘fit’ bodytype with perfect ratio of ass and boobs. the other side of him would want the hot east asian curvy body as he is looking for someone to grope, play with their bodies and feel squishy parts. tyla, yuna, momo & more

jay:

hourglass, jay isn’t the one to have much of a preference. if its hot then its hot. more like somebody ‘beefy’ but at the same time more on the skinny part, but not straight up petite. can see him be into pear body types as well as rectangular ones. doesn’t find much interest in ‘curves’ but would love a fit and healthy body. like yunjin, yeji, karina, liz & more

jake:

just. need. to. feel. CURVES. doesn’t care what shape or size. best ones for him are the western curvy or even just west asian/east asian curvy bodies. could be giselle, natty, jihyo, billie eilish. you can say more of like triangle/pear shaped bodies because thats where you can find the best curves at.

sunghoon:

SKINNY GIRLS. when i tell you. literally. he needs skinny (doesn’t care if they are flat) ones like wonyoung, irene, yuna, umji and more. typically the ones with natural ‘petite’ bodies. be tall or short doesn’t matter.

[laguzmage]

It's funny how the second you step out of the actual Mechs of Battletech it immediately becomes 80-90s military speculative fiction. Hindsight 2020 and all that but it's charming to see the product of a writer in the 80s insist gyrojet rifles and militarized hovercraft will be a thing

[saccharineomens]

i've been poking at this too long to care how visually appealing it is anymore. My headcanons for the main characters' sexualities, based on canon information! (has no bearing on ships.) Canon speculation below the cut.

marcille (bi): fascinated by romance and loves romance. we only see her show explicit interest in a male (fictional character (General Halleus from the book series she loves)), but i don't think she's fully straight.

falin (aro? ace? lesbian? genderqueer?): falin's only interest in relationships in canon is 'she considered accepting shuro's proposal because she was afraid nobody else would want her, but felt it'd be unfair to him because she had no feelings for him'. i consider whether she's aroace or a lesbian or maybe bi/pan, and she also seems like she might have some genderqueer feelings, based on some of her discomfort with her body and wearing certain types of femme clothing. (Also the fact that she‘s part male dragon.) Since she ends the story going on a journey for herself, it feels like she'll finally get the chance to figure out what she wants.

laios (pan, demi): he hasn't shown explicit interest in men, but similar to marcille, i don't feel he's fully straight. He’s aesthetically attracted to monsters, at the very least, so gender probably doesn’t factor in for him. romance/sex just don’t seem to be much of a high priority to him in general, but he did think his ex-fiance was cute and didn't seem uncomfortable with the idea of marriage (just seemed unhappy with being trapped in his hometown), so i feel like demisexuality fits him well.

About his succubus: He was very noticeably not stopped in his tracks by it like Chilchuck and Marcille, but that could possibly be because it just….looked exactly like Marcille, not an obvious fantasy. He started blushing and stammering heavily when it turned into a monster, which like….this boy is definitely a furry/monsterfucker, if anything, but that doesn’t speak on his attraction to actual humans.

I think it speaks for something that the succubi are able to literally read minds and craft the perfect fantasy for their specific target. And for Laios, it wasn’t just “his friend Marcille”. It was a version of his friend Marcille that wasn’t grossed out by monsters, didn’t think he was weird for wanting to be one, and was able to turn Laios into one. It was a Marcille who understood him at his deepest level that made him become a blushing, stammering mess to rival Chilchuck. Which is why I think he’s Demi, and needs a strong emotional connection with someone before he finds them attractive.

kabru (pan): his special interest is people, and he's bold enough with his sexuality to kiss rin despite not being in a relationship with her. so being pan/bi feels appropriate.

chilchuck (bi): he has a wife, and they were childhood friends, so he's definitely allo. but his comments and behavior towards senshi makes me suspect he might be bi, and just never considered the possibility due to being in a committed relationship.

senshi (gay, ace): this is 90% off of vibes. he keeps to himself in the dungeon and doesn't seem to have any need for social company, he's a complete hermit. Being ace makes sense to me, but so would him just having a low social drive. His succubus was 'a woman he hadn't seen since he was a child', but his journal implies it wasn't a romantic/sexual attraction.

namari (bi/lesbian): she is at the very least attracted to women, given her behavior with kiki, but she does make a point to say that kaka is also attractive to her, and her friends at the bar tease her about Kaka being her “new” boyfriend (implying previous boyfriends).

shuro: the token straight (in love with falin, asked her to marry him). i love you shuro <3 (but i can also see him being into men. there's no evidence to the contrary)

izutsumi: aroace. literally no question. her succubus is her mother.

[noandpickles]

Every time I try to describe the Baru Cormorant books, I stumble over the genre. Wikipedia lists it as fantasy, but I'm 90% sure that determination was made just because it's a pre-industrial speculative fiction setting. Is that what fantasy is? Doesn't fantasy imply an element of the supernatural? Baru Cormorant feels like historical fiction, except the world whose history it's based on doesn't exist. It's definitely spec fic, but any classification more specific than that eludes me. I'd almost call it a sci fi, because sci fi is the genre I'm most used to finding these sorts of philosophical explorations in, except calling it that would be perfectly misleading.

Is there a word for deeply philosophical speculative fiction that takes place in a fictional pre-industrial world, where science and technology are relevant, but so are kings and queens and knights in shining armor? 🤷

[heeliumhaze-elle]

close friends

「synopsis」 — after running into her extremely toxic ex at jake's birthday party last year, y/n seemed to disappear off the face of the planet. the only traces of her were her instagram story posts during her month-long trip to the states at the start of the new year. but other than that, no one had seen or heard from her since that night in november. the boys have speculated that it was because of the run-in with k all those months ago; however, when something y/n posts on her 'close friends' story begins to circulate through their group, they grow increasingly suspicious and angry over their speculations. ... except something about all of this doesn't sit right with heeseung. 「warnings」 — mc suffers from depression & struggles with thoughts of suicide, the boys are kinda petty assholes imo, cursing. please dm me if i missed anything! 「word count」 — 4923 words 「author's note」 — lowercase intended. only slightly proofread. no real plot, rushed ending - like seriously i didn't know how to end it so i just did... this is my first story, so i'm really nervous, lol. this is all fictional. the way the idols are portrayed in this story does not reflect how i view them by any means. 「dedication」 — this story is dedicated to my friend ani - may you always remember that you are never alone, not anymore.

"can you fucking believe her?" asked sunghoon, staring at the screenshot on jungwon's phone.

jake and jay agreed, peering over sunghoon's shoulder to get a better look at the photo. sunoo, who sat opposite the 02z, let out a tired sigh while ni-ki, who sat on the tabletop between jake and sunoo, massaged his temples. meanwhile, jungwon looked at his hyungs uneasily. heeseung wondered if he regretted asking if y/n was okay.

heeseung kept his gaze fixed on his friends as they continued to skim through the now-infamous screenshot.

"literally though, like what the fuck are we then?" ni-ki asked. "how dare she."

"god, no! and then to re-add us to her 'close friends' as if nothing happened," jay added. "like jungwon wouldn't have said anything to us."

"right?" sunoo said, rolling his eyes as he read through the post. "as if he wasn't going to tell us! like hello? he's our best friend!"

"it's like it was about us," jake said. "i'm not here to play these games. if she has a fucking problem with us, she needs to just fucking say so. we're not in high school anymore!"

"... well, except ni-ki," muttered sunoo.

jungwon let out a nervous sigh. "guys, i didn't mean to start anything-."

"no!" jay interrupted. "jake's right. we're all old enough. she needs to use her fucking words. she has a problem with us, just fucking say so. don't fucking act like we're all 'good' when it's clearly about us."

"because what the hell did we ever do to her?" sunghoon demanded.

all the while, jungwon's phone was making its rounds to each of the boys. and soon, the phone was in heeseung's hands. he was finally able to read the screenshot that started this entire uproar.

... and he was gutted.

"my sleep schedule is so fucked as of lately. all i do is lay in bed for 85-90% of my day. i can't keep pretending i'm jet-lagged from my trip to the states. i desperately crave to get out of the house to do things with other people, but i literally have no friends here — outside the ones that i made at work. even when i try to do things on my own, it's just so mentally taxing that i end up sleeping for 24+ hours after attempting to make myself feel better. it's a lot, i guess.

"... if i wasn't so afraid of death and dying, then maybe-."

heeseung felt his heart drop. he forced himself to stop reading; he couldn't continue, knowing that's where y/n's mind went.

how long had y/n been feeling this way? was there truth in what the other boys were saying? was this post about them?

shaking his head, heeseung refocused his attention on his friends. they all sat around him, angered by the post that y/n had made just the day before. the only person - save for himself - who wasn't mad about what y/n posted was jungwon. but heeseung couldn't tell if that was because he was still able to view her close friends story on instagram or if jungwon was genuinely worried about y/n.

even if the post was about them, heeseung told himself that that was the least of their concerns. the only thing that mattered to him (and he was surprised that his friends didn't seem to think similarly on the subject) was how y/n felt.

as the others went on to bash y/n for posting that and not being upfront with them about her feelings, heeseung handed jungwon back his phone.

"like honestly, i thought we were friends. what is her problem?" sunghoon circled back.

heeseung stood from his seat at the park table, white-knuckled fists suddenly clenched at his side. he startled the others with how abruptly he got up, but he didn't seem to care. "are you all fucking hearing yourself right now?"

"did you not just see what she posted yesterday?" jay asked.

ni-ki looked up at his hyung and added, "and she's so messy for re-adding us to her close friends list. if it wasn't for jungwon hyung, we wouldn't have ever seen this. so i bet she thinks she got away with talking shit about us like that."

"that's exactly what she was thinking!" jake chimed in.

heeseung didn't stay to hear what his insensitive friends had to say next. he simply told the five of them to "fuck off" and bid jungwon goodbye before storming off from the scene. as he neared his car, he reached for his phone from his back pocket; he wanted to text y/n. he needed to! however, upon closer inspection, he realized that his phone was out of battery. and of course, today was the day his car's charging cable broke!

groaning to himself, heeseung let himself into his vehicle and just drove. with his phone dead, there was no way for him to reach y/n to give her the heads-up that he'd be arriving anytime soon... but he also figured - given what he had read only minutes and minutes ago - that she would be home regardless.

his thoughts drifted back to y/n. he kept wondering how long she had been feeling that way. he wondered if she felt lonely because while she was locked away in her apartment, the rest of them were still going to each other's houses and planning group excursions... excursions, heeseung came to realize, that y/n wasn't invited to.

fuck! he thought as he came to a red light. if that post truly was about him and the rest of the guys, was it not deserved? he thought back to all the times that they went out without inviting y/n and he wondered if her fomo eventually got so bad she thought that they had silently kicked her out of the friend group. no... there's no way she thought that! right? y/n had a lot more sense than to think that a few outings without her meant that they no longer wanted to be her friend. right?!

the light stayed red as heeseung's mind swirled with several different thoughts. there was more to the post. heeseung knew that. granted, he didn't read it as thoroughly as his friends had, but he had skimmed through it quickly enough. the others were so hung up on the fact that y/n said she didn't have any friends; heeseung also guessed they were angry over the little bits of text that followed her dark thoughts. but... was she wrong to say all those things? the other seemed to think so. so much so that they completely ignored the blatant cry for help that was the entirety of y/n's post.

when the light finally turned green, heeseung couldn't stop thinking about the first line of the last paragraph. "...if i wasn't so afraid of death and dying, then maybe all of this would be so much easier."

in the three years that heeseung had gotten to know y/n, he had to admit that he was very aware of how dangerously dark her thoughts could be. there were moments when he wouldn't hear from her for weeks at a time. he remembered how y/n would lament on the droves of friends she had lost in the years prior because they hated when she would fall into her slump. after all, she wouldn't text anyone for days at a time; he recalled how when she recalled those memories, it somehow always ended with the friends telling her that she was selfish or that she wasn't trying hard enough to get better.

heeseung quickly parked his car in the guest space of y/n's apartment complex. from his spot, he could see the curtains of her bedroom window weren't drawn, but the window was cracked opened ever-so-slightly. he found himself devising a plan b in case y/n didn't come to the door and it involved somehow shimmying up to the second floor and busting through her window.

without another moment to lose, he rapidly bashed his pointer finger against the doorbell. at least if she was sleeping, he was certain that this'd wake her up!

not even a minute had gone by when y/n flung her apartment door open. heeseung took in the sight of her. her hair, a tangled, matted mess. if he had to guess, he assumed her knots were much worse at the back of her head. he noted that the fullness of her cheeks had vanished. she looked so gaunt compared to the last time he saw her; he wondered when the last time she ate was... or at least when the last time she ate anything of sustenance was.

y/n looked at heeseung with tired eyes. she frowned for a moment, only to replace it with a sad smile.

"have you come to air your grievances with me in person?" she said in a strained whisper.

if heeseung had been gutted before, he had no idea what this new feeling was. whatever it was though, it shattered whatever was left of him. he had known y/n to have horrible episodes of hopelessness and defeat, but this was too much for him to bear. he couldn't even begin to imagine how she was feeling. she was a shell of herself.

"... what are you talking about?" he asked gently.

"i just thought..." y/n let out a deep, long sigh. she looked down at her hello kitty house slippers, not finishing her thought aloud. she tightly wrapped her arms around herself as she stroked her right upper arm slowly.

instinctively, heeseung removed his coat and draped it over y/n. her bloodshot, tired eyes looked up at him once more. he wanted to hold her. to make her feel his warmth. to make her feel his love. he just wanted her to see she wasn't alone anymore.

"you just thought what?" he asked as y/n ushered him inside.

she shut the door behind her and wordlessly led him to the small couch in her living room. heeseung saw the nest she had created for herself with her blankets, pillows, and plushies in the dark space. the only source of light came from her muted television, which was currently airing reruns of old cartoons from the 1990s and the early 2000s. there were torn-up bags of chips (some empty and some half-full), unfinished, open bottles of soju and cans of beer, and a plethora of takeout boxes scattered around her little nest across her tiny coffee table. trash and dirty laundry lined the floor around her couch.

"sorry about the mess. i haven't had visitors in over six months now..."

six months. the last time anyone had seen y/n had been over seven months ago. sure, they had seen her posting all about her trip back to the states a month ago, but no one had physically been in her presence in over half a year. heeseung wanted to kick himself. why hadn't he visited sooner?

"no... please don't apologize-."

"i'm embarrassed," she whispered, trying to make space on the couch by tossing all of her used bedding to the floor.

heeseung stopped her in time, insisting that it was fine. after all, he had been the one to show up unannounced.

"what were you talking about before, y/n?" heeseung tried holding her gaze, but she quickly averted her eyes to her slippers once more. "what grievances are you talking about?"

every sigh that escaped y/n's lips was a dagger to heeseung's heart. he watched as she struggled to find the words to say. sensing her panic, heeseung guided her into her cocoon of blankets - making some room for himself as well. the two of them sat side-by-side in silence. he could wait all day for her to reply, especially if it meant not leaving her alone in this state.

"your friends," y/n reached for her phone from the recesses of her blankets, "they all texted me these paragraphs about something that i posted privately yesterday."

WHAT?!

heeseung could feel his blood boiling. "how do you mean?"

PARAGRAPHS?!

y/n unlocked her phone and handed the device to the man beside her. just as soon as he got a hold of her phone, she quickly retracted her hand and brought it to her eyes, rubbing away at them.

heeseung first watched as y/n began to curl up into a ball, then he directed his attention to her phone. upon first glance at her message app, he noticed that there were three circles pinned to the top: two group chats - one called "ohana 👑" and the other "the tortured poets department 🖊️" - and a silly selfie of him and y/n with the nickname "evan lee 💜" plastered just below it. a blush danced upon his cheeks at the sight of it all.

however, the warmth in his cheeks lasted for only a millisecond as his eyes fell just below their text thread; it appeared that ni-ki, jay, sunghoon, jake, and sunoo all sent messages to y/n in the time that it took for heeseung to arrive. heeseung tapped at the most recent of the texts, sunoo's. he repeated the process with jake's, sunghoon's, jay's, and finally, ni-ki's texts. with each scroll through of texts from his friends, he found himself getting angrier and angrier at them. especially after reading y/n's responses to each of them.

it was hard to tell tone over text, but heeseung knew his friends well. each message to y/n was crafted uniquely and in the sender's own words, but the gist of what they were saying was all the same.

they each started their message by telling y/n that they had been with jungwon the day before and how he had asked them if she was okay. they all state that they didn't know what he could possibly be talking about until jungwon mentioned that it was in reference to her instagram story - a story he failed to mention was only for close friends.

jay and sunoo went on to say that they didn't mind that they couldn't see her story; y/n was allowed to pick and choose who she wanted to see those stories. jake, ni-ki, and sunghoon - on the other hand - took major offense into not being able to see her story, considering "everything" they had been through "together with k". they all mentioned how deeply hurt they were by the fact that y/n said she had not friends. ni-ki had gone as far as to say, "i thought that me and the hyungs were your friends. but i guess not, huh?"

they then followed up their emotions with the same statements they were exclaiming at the park, about how if y/n had something to say about them to just outright say it and not dabble in this "high school bullshit and make everyone play this stupid game where they have to figure out what the hell it is they did wrong" (as jake put it in his text). in sunoo's message, he claimed that he was only reaching out to y/n because he wanted to be upfront with her and couldn't think of a single thing he might have done to offend her. jay and sunghoon continued to stress the fact that their text wasn't meant to be read as an attack, but they "wanted to be adults about the situation instead of resorting to petty, childish drama" because they too couldn't think of anything to warrant such a post from y/n. ni-ki drew from the fact that he and the rest of the boys were hurting over this and how it was "shady and cringy" to post a story like that on her social media account; he accused her of just wanting attention because he "didn't do anything wrong" so for her to post that with the implication that he had irritate the maknae to no end.

just like that, each of them wrapped up their lengthy chunks of text to y/n with such vitriol that heeseung couldn't believe that these were his friends. he knew they were coming from a place of hurt, but he was surprised that they didn't see y/n's post for what it truly was: a cry for help.

instead, they turned her raw emotions into their hurt egos. they decided to take bits and pieces of y/n's story and mold it into this narrative where she attempted to assassinate their characters. it went from being a post about how utterly depressed and pathetic she felt to being a post about them.

and heeseung was livid.

with all of them.

when had they become so self-important? if they were truly y/n's friends like they had so furiously claimed to be, why hadn't any of them asked if she was okay? even jungwon failed to ask her, opting instead to ask his hyungs and ni-ki - which, arguably got everyone in this mess in the first place.

heeseung felt his mind drift back to y/n's reply to each of the boys' texts. while he didn't read every single one, he did read the only one that got a text back, y/n's text to ni-ki. it was a long, heartfelt apology from y/n; heeseung could see how this whole mess was tearing her up inside just from her words to ni-ki alone. but he got even madder when he got to her parting words, only to see that ni-ki had replied with, "k. thanks for reaching out. i just need time for myself if i'm being honest. bye."

before he could say anything, heeseung was brought back to reality when he caught y/n silently sobbing into her hands from the corner of his eye.

"i'm sorry!" she whispered. over and over again. each time more broken than the last.

heeseung gently pulled her closer to his chestm cradling her to him as he rubbed his thumb against her back in an effort to comfort her. "you have nothing to be sorry for..."

"i hurt everyone's feelings-!"

"fuck them," heeseung growled, holding her tighter. "i'm sorry. i'm sorry that they let their egos get in the way of being decent human beings. i'm sorry that you've felt so alone for the last few months. i'm sorry that i haven't shown up for you in the way that you needed someone to be there."

y/n cried harder. "i... i... i... i didn't... i didn't mean..." her hiccups were affecting the rhythm of her speech. "i didn't mean that... that we weren't friends! i just... i just felt-."

"shhhh," he soothed as she shuddered under his embrace. "we haven't been very good friends to you as of lately, anyway. they're like my brothers and i love them, but those messages alone... we haven't been decent friends to you. i can understand how easy it is to feel like you're this lonely, little island, especially when the rest of us are still going out and making no effort to see how you're doing.

"i saw their messages to you. in ni-ki's case specifically, i scrolled up a little too far and saw that you've spent the last half of these past few months messaging him little things like tiktoks and memes only for him to like them or reply to you with one word. have you been reaching out to the rest of the boys?"

he felt her nod against his chest.

oh... so he was the only one to not have heard from her. the green-eyed monster crept into his thoughts momentarily, only for him to realize that the others' text threads were probably just as dry as ni-ki's.

"i'm really sorry that i didn't reach out to you sooner," heeseung sighed. "i really don't know what i was thinking. i'm sorry that you've felt so alone."

once y/n had calmed down enough to stop her hiccups, she excused herself to grab a glass of water. she asked heeseung if he wanted anything while she was up, but he declined - instead offering to get the glass for her. she appreciated the gesture but went to get the water herself.

this moment alone left heeseung in his thoughts again. he didn't want her to have to recount anything to him if she didn't want to, but he still needed to know. in her text to ni-ki, she said that she hadn't meant to keep jungwon on her list of close friends. that what she posted hadn't meant to be for the people she had met in south korea; it was for her friends back home - as a way to vent out the frustrations she hadn't known how to put into words for her korean audience. these frustrations, from what heeseung could gather, were things she wasn't ready to tell him or the others.

but the others had practically forced it out of her in her apologies to them...

... and ni-ki had the gall to tell her that he needed time and space from her. the rest left her on read - as if only turning their read receipts on for this moment alone.

heeseung could feel himself getting worked up all over again. gripping tightly at the fabric of his jeans, he sat up straighter when he heard y/n coming back to the darkened living room.

"i'm sorry," y/n whispered as she neared him.

heeseung stared up at her helplessly as she sat beside him. "no, there's nothing to be-."

"i meant to take all of you off my 'close friends' list. it wasn't because i didn't think we were friends; there are just some things from my past that i'm not ready to talk about with you guys yet-."

"and you don't have to! i'm sorry that the rest of them think that you owe us that..."

"i mean... they thought it was about them; they just wanted to clear things up and let how they were feeling be known," y/n said with a sigh, pulling heeseung's coat closer to her chest. "i offended them. i respect them from being upfront about their feelings-."

"IT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!" heeseung stood up to face y/n. "WHY ARE THEY ALLOWED TO EXPRESS THEIR EMOTIONS LIKE THAT AND YOU'RE NOT?"

regret washed over heeseung as he noticed y/n's sullen eyes widen. she bit her quivering lips and heeseung wanted to punch himself in the face.

"sorry," he muttered. "i didn't mean to blow up like that. i just..."

heeseung knelt before y/n.

"no, it's okay," she said, avoiding his gaze.

"it's not... and what the guys did isn't okay either. yeah, they confronted you because they thought it was about them and they want to clear the air, but there's a way to go about that. and for ni-ki to go off on your like that only to leave you with that 'i need space' bullshit of a text-."

"he's just a kid."

"i get that, but i have no idea where the boys get off with being so... i don't know... vain? for lack of a better word. their reactions just feel so... guilty. as if they had done something-."

"i was being extremely vague in my post."

heeseung took y/n's shaking hands, finally holding her gaze as she looked at him. she seemed shocked by the physical interaction; he wondered how long it had been since she had touched another person outside their hug minutes ago.

"exactly! if it wasn't about them, but they somehow found a way to relate to it? i don't know... again, i think they're acting out of guilt," heeseung caressed the back of her hands with his thumb.

y/n gave heeseung a sad smile. "i get their side. with the way i worded everything, i can see how they relate what i wrote with the way everyone handled everything between k and me a few years ago."

heeseung felt y/n rip her hands away from his as she buried her face into her hands. sitting back on the couch, he pulled her into another hug; she didn't seem to be crying again, but he couldn't be too sure anymore. y/n hadn't mentioned her past relationship with k since their nasty breakup, but he remembered how unbothered she had been upon seeing him seven months ago at jake's birthday party. he also remembered how angered y/n had been - despite being unbothered at k's initial presence - because he attempted to approach her while she was alone at the open bar, grabbing refills for heeseung, sunghoon, and herself.

"... did the post have anything to do with k?" heeseung asked. he felt her go stiff at the mention of her ex-boyfriend before shaking her head against his chest and letting out a small sniffle. "okay, then? so the boys had nothing to worry about. it's just this huge misunderstanding. if they want to hold it against you, fuck 'em."

"i still really hurt their feelings."

"you apologized. did they?"

y/n pushed heeseung away to hug her legs to her chest. she shook her head. "but... a selfish part of me really feels like i'm owed one."

"it's not selfish - especially after you cleared it up with them. they jumped conclusions and said extremely hurtful things to you. if they truly did no wrong - which who knows, maybe they didn't do anything wrong! - i don't know... maybe they shouldn't have been so defensive. i don't know! maybe it's just me... but their behavior is downright embarrassing!"

with another sigh, y/n leaned against heeseung, who instantly wrapped his arm around her; it felt just like before, like no time had passed between the two of them. like there wasn't this mix of guilt, hopelessness, and despair in the air between them.

"embarrassing?"

"how else would your describe it when you make someone else's trauma and hurting about you?" heeseung asked, giving y/n's shoulder a tight squeeze. "y/n, i know you. i know you're not going to hold this another the boys, but i think their reaction to all of this is downright stupid. you talked about some pretty serious stuff in your post, but they pushed past that to complain that you might have posted about them. that doesn't sit right with me-."

"it's not that deep, hee-."

"except it is, y/n! this is exactly what happened with k hyung after you two broke up and more recently after jake's party. specifically after jake's party, you posted something privately about how hard things have been on your end and how it was affecting your mental health; someone shared it with him and he confronted you-."

"k apologized-."

"but then he immediately turned the conversation into 'i'm sorry, but also you hurt me!' and then you two only focused on his feelings!" heeseung thought back to that time. "i just... i feel like the boys took whatever was posted in the wrong direction. and even then, it wasn't even aimed in their direction to begin with! there are worse things to be done and that have been done than taking someone off your story then putting them back on..."

y/n pressed herself closer to heeseung as he continued.

"and honestly... whatever was actually said in your story was so much bigger than their feelings being hurt, y/n. because we both know that wasn't what it was about."

"hee..."

"look, i know... i know that you never meant for any of us to see it, but we did. and instead of seeing it for what it was, most of them made it about themselves. and i'm sorry for that. i'm sorry that we haven't been good friends to you lately - to the point where you felt like we weren't your friends to begin with. they're allowed to be hurt over it if they truly think that it's about them, but they can't just ambush you like that and then close the discussion when you clear the air and open it up for them. honestly, with the way all of this was handled, i wouldn't be surprised if you still stood by that statement! it's almost like... at every turn, you're reprimanded in some way for posting about your feelings. someone always has to take it out of context and make it about themselves.

"you literally told every single one of them that it had nothing to do with them and they have the audacity to sit there and say that they need time away from you? again, that doesn't sit right with me! why are you made to be the problem in every situation you're stuck to struggle with!"

there was still so much more heeseung had wanted to say, but the sounds of y/n's violent sobs had stopped him. she began to wail into his chest again and she squeezed him closer to her. heeseung felt his heart breaking as he looked down at one of his best friends. she wept loudly, screaming incoherent phrases into him while heeseung held her tightly.

"i'm sorry," heeseung whispered into her hair, pulling her onto his lap. "i'm sorry that i wasn't there for you before... i'm sorry that it's taken me so long to see how much you've been hurting. i'm sorry for everything. but i'm here now."

[slightlyloomingone]

Solarpunk Aesthetic: Brazilian Clay Water Filters

I dithered a lot trying to decide on something to post about for Solarpunk Aesthetic Week, but at the end of the day I'm a Brazilian and I like to talk about Brazilian things... so here are some Brazilian Red Clay Water Filters! These are considered to this day one of the most reliable water purification systems in the world, and used to be very popular in the past all over Brazil before the rise of mineral water coolers in the 90s and early 2000s. The Red Clay keeps the water cool and they use a ceramic candle to filter water.

Nowadays, Red Clay filters live mostly in our memories of Brazil in the 80s or 90s (and in memes like "this represents Brazil more than Samba or caipirinha"), although there has been a bit of revival as design pieces, which is why these pictures are all decorated or integrated with planters. You can still find functional models like this for sale, however. But I believe Red Clay Water Filters belong in a concept of Brazilian Solarpunk for two reasons:

Although I couldn't find sources for the claim, it's widely believed here that this model was created in Brazil, with some speculation that the use of Red Clay and the characteristic shape of the filter originate from the use of red clay in ceramics by different indigenous cultures in Brazil (there is a type of water jug called moringa that evokes the idea of a red clay filter and has been around for centuries)

Brazil has a long history of water insecurity and poor sanitation all over the country, but personally I am more familiar with this issue in Northeast Brazil, where a combination of a challenging environment (especially in the sertão) and historical neglect by the government means the population in the rural areas was constantly facing intense droughts every dry season. In this context, I consider the existence of a reliable system of water filtration an essential aspect of Northeast Brazil's culture of resistance

This got a bit long, but I hope it made for an interesting read for anyone taking part in Solarpunk Aesthetic Week, or who just ended up here by chance. I mostly engage with Solarpunk through original fiction (still unpublished), but because of my introduction to it it's very hard to separate the aesthetic and movement from my own culture. Here's to continuing to imagine a future together!

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil, happy Thursday. Can you please outwardly deny that Judas Iscariot plays a role in Good Omens season 2? I don't think it's a huge fan theory, but I would personally love to stop speculating about this specific idea

Whoever came up with that theory is going to be very disappointed.

But then 90% of Fan Theories will either be wrong or incredibly wrong. 5% will leave people feeling very pleased with themselves, and 5% will have people going "I wrote that in my fan fiction!" and I will have to explain to them that it's something that John Finnemore and I came up with independently because we did not read your fan fiction, but perhaps if it was obvious to you it was obvious to us.

[distortedsense]

]art for my fantasy novel THE DAY MY DREAM DIED

[c-rowlesdraws]

one of my all-time favorite things to explore in fantasy and speculative fiction is like, the hypocrisy and wackiness (derogatory) underneath the accepted status quo of a setting, especially as it’s presented to an outsider protagonist. So I think part of why I also really really like the quarians in Mass Effect is that, yeah, now everyone dismisses them as stateless, sickly, drifting outcasts, but up until the war that cost them their homeworld, they were a fully thriving civilization, considered unmatched experts in cybernetics and robotics-- and that was only two hundred years ago. To an elderly elcor, that’s still well into their early adulthood. To an asari or a krogan, that’s like a real life human remembering the 90′s. Like, binch!! You were buying the top-of-the-line quarian-made space roombas with everyone else before that whole AI rebellion thing! I bet you still have one!!!!

[ratedstar]

ʬʬ . ⠀⠀★☆ ⠀ WHATISAPOSER.COM ?! ⠀ ৶ ⠀ ❝ a person who acts in an affected manner in order to impress others ❞ ⠀ ⏤ ⠀ in 2003, a legacy was born; POSER RECORDS is a fictional record label created by korean-american producer && CEO KIM JOONHO, professionally known as JOON. with credentials named alongside 90's icons such as MADONNA, JANET JACKSON, and GEORGE MICHAEL, articles and on-site reports from the local news flooded the media as the turnout for their first local audition exceeded everyone's expectations.

"he's one of the best, and everyone wants to work with the best!" number 238 in line cheerfully told reporters on the first day of the week-long scouting period.

after a long, tedious, and rather eventful week ( at least five fights broke out, someone passed out during their audition, two people had to be dragged out of the audition room ), poser records began working on creating the foundation of their brand. months passed with little to no information regarding their first idol getting out. side from a leak speculating it was going to be a young woman in her early 20's, nothing else hit the media. what did cause a frenzy in early 2003 was the possible brewing partnership between joon and former teen popstar YAHYA UYEN, famously known as YAYA, after she denounced her father's record label for financially cheating her throughout her entire career.

2005 was the year everyone was waiting for. poser records debuted their first female soloist and icon-to-be known as KANDI. her debut album, "candygirl," was deemed a timeless classic with songs like sweet fantasy and honey peaking at #1 across various charts. for the next four years, her music dominated the industry; songs like 10 minutes, 1&ONLY, and your girl ( only girl ) becoming unforgettable gems for generations to come. kandi will be one of the few korean idols to breakout internationally in america thanks to collaborations with brands like von dutch, baby phat, cover girl, and juicy couture. her time in the studio weren't limited, either as her voice can be heard on the soundtracks for films such as the devil wears prada, john tucker must die, bring it on: all or nothing, and the house bunny.

For the full biography, see KANDI ( korean-american pop singer )

with kandi's career seemingly unmatched by competitors, poser decided to strike while the iron was hot and in 2008, debuted their male soloist named JAEHWAN. similar to his senior, jaehwan became a success overnight with his studio album "a quarter past midnight" as it topped the r&b charts thanks to the hit thinkin' bout you ( on my mind ). while his future releases ( chance of us, dangerous woman ) did exceptional, it was the pop hit c.a.n.d.y that drove him into stardom as it soft launched the soon-to-be relationship between him and kandi in 2010. jaehwan has since become a famed vocalist and actor with his breakout role being the heirs in 2013 and notable characters later on in train to busan, crash landing on you, and squid game.

For the full biography, see PARK JAEHWAN ( korean pop singer )

as poser records achieved bigger and greater heights, it was only a matter of time until the ugly side of fame began showing its head. 2009 will begin a pattern of failed female soloists starting with the attempted debut of NA ISOM, or ISA. from the very start of her career, isa was bashed relentlessly by media outlets and on online forums for simply existing; no one understood where the hate came from but poser still continued with pushing her out. things took a more serious turn when it was rumored that she had a stalker who made threats on her life. the company took every safety precaution they could but it was useless after isa was involved in a three-car pileup after trying to escape her assailant in her own vehicle one night. though isa survived the wreck, a young couple did not, resulting in her receiving more backlash than before. four months later, poser had announced that isa was terminating her contract due to her own mental health as well as funding the families of the victims before disappearing from the spotlight in 2013.

just in 2010, the company had introduced REINA as an upcoming artist but she never got to see her debut as just a week before her schedule was to be revealed, allegations of reina abusing her sick, elderly mother had started to spread. she was quickly removed from the label with no statement and proper announcement, but her name on the website was taken down as well as her photos. following her was HAN DOYEON, a former SM TRAINEE many people anticipated to see debut. luckily for her, she managed to release two mini albums before her career was cut short. in january of 2015, doyeon was exposed for blackmailing a famous athlete with a video of them having an affair in exchange for money to pay off her debts. as you have probably guessed already, she was kicked from the company but still tried to make a name for herself elsewhere.

For the full list, see POSER RECORD CONTROVERSIES

outside of the dumpster fire that was 2009-2015, poser records had to deal with the more minor scandals happening between kandi and jaehwan. the first came after the couple broke up in 2013 when a recorded conversation between jaehwan and a friend leaked. in the audio, he described his relationship with kandi to be a "fucking mistake." he went on to call her entitled and sometimes referred to her as a "the devil" the longer she was the topic. news channels, journalists, and kandi's fans condemned him for his words, but they all somehow failed to bring up the part when jaehwan briefly mentioned her being tied to the incidents with the former women of poser.

unfortunately ( or fortunately ) for him, he was only placed on hiatus after giving a public apology to kandi. despite him going radio silent, kandi wasted no time slandering his name even further into the ground. she revealed that their relationship to him was a publicity stunt to increase his sales as they were performing poorly compared to estimated amount he should've been making. though there was an article that was published but removed clarifying that she was the one who came up with the idea of them dating after her small scandal of cursing out a retail employee until she cried, people believed her every word, his public support only dropping further and further from there.

For the full biography, see ▋▋▋▋▋▋▋▋▋▋▋▋▋▋

despite the hiccups here and there, poser records still maintains major success thanks to the future debuts of their idol groups. their groups, while proving to more rambunctious than their seniors in every way possible, prove that their forces to be reckoned with no matter what the world throws at them. is this a good thing, or a bad thing? that's sorta up to them to decide.

ʬʬ . ⠀⠀★☆ ⠀ PUBLIC DOSSIER ?! ⠀ ৶ ⠀⠀⠀STATS !

INDUSTRY⠀⠀›⠀⠀MUSIC, ENTERTAINMENT, PRODUCTION.

OPERATES AS⠀⠀›⠀⠀RECORD LABEL, TALENT AGENCY, MUSIC PRODUCTION COMPANY, EVENT MANAGEMENT AND CONCERT PRODUCTION COMPANY,⠀⠀&.⠀⠀MUSIC PUBLISHING HOUSE.

FOUNDED⠀⠀›⠀⠀JUNE 10TH, 2003; 21 YEARS ONGOING.

FOUNDER⠀⠀›⠀⠀KIM JOONHO.

HEADQUARTERS⠀⠀›⠀⠀APGUJEONG-DONG, GANGNAM-DONG, SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA⠀⠀&.⠀⠀SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA, UNITED STATES.

CEOS⠀⠀›⠀⠀KIM JOONHO⠀( 2003 - )

[laura1633]

you're crazy, charles just had one of the worst race bcs ferrari fuck him up again, and what u think of it was how this circumstances was fit into the prompt some people ask u. please could u be more conciderate to treat him like a human he is and not ur fanfiction tools?

I was going to ignore this ask completely because quite frankly it’s ridiculous, especially given the nature of this blog, but I think there is an important point to be made. 

Firstly, this is my blog and I am entitled to post whatever I want.

Secondly, and this might be difficult for you anon, you need to pause and take a second to realise that people react to things in different ways. You might not like RPF or you might only like it within certain circumstances but you certainly don’t speak for everyone. What makes you you think that it is okay for you to dictate how other people deal with their emotions?! I can’t even begin to tell you how narrow minded and inconsiderate that is of you. 

I spent the few hours after the race discussing Charles’ situation and speculating on what options he has but then I decided to take a step back. I assume you want me to keep doom posting but I can assure you that that will not improve Charles’ situation. I suppose I could have tried marching to Maranello to try and take control of Ferrari by force but alas I didn’t think of that at the time.

I understand that you might feel frustrated, angry or sad after the race but if seeing fan fiction takes about it makes you this upset then I would suggest, with all sincerity, taking a step away from the internet after a race. It’s up to you though, I am not here to tell you what to do. I just think it is important we realise that this is a sport and we should try not to take on all the stress and negativity of it in our own lives as difficult as that can be sometimes. 

This blog is 90% fan fiction and contained to a site where it should not reach Max, Charles or anyone who knows them. When they are racing I support them as drivers but when I am writing about them then I suppose they are fan fiction tools. That doesn’t make them any less human. I find that writing fan fiction about events helps me set the emotions around a race aside rather than carry that negativity around with me. 

In short, I think you need to stop being rude to people online (anonymously no less), stop trying to regulate other people’s reactions to things and stop taking away other people’s fun and/or emotional outlets. Charles won’t thank us for it, he doesn’t even know we exist! 

If you think this is some gotcha moment I can assure you that it is not. If Charles has another bad race (and I say if because please let Ferrari regroup and come back stronger) but if he has another bad race you best believe that I am fictionally going to make Max fuck him either harder next time thanks to this ask, so hard that Charles won’t remember what team he drives for. I therefore respectfully suggest you block this account to save yourself future stress.

Peace and love and all that though, thanks for stopping by 😂😘