#8x23 and the et goes home stuff

[elizabethrobertajones]

Hi, what would you consider like the top 10 episodes that had a lot of dean&cas moments? I'm currently trying to show my boyfriend some of the strongest scenes so that he can understand why I believe in dean&cas.

Ow.

Strongest scenes… Honestly, the destiel vids that came out after season 9 stringing together the 9x18, 9x22 and 9x23 Metatron being a dick to Cas stuff really do so much of the work… That or a supercut of Dean reacting to Cas’s death in season 13.

6x20 is pretty much top of the list for a whole episode, and I think in terms of just being really good Dean n Cas romantic episodes, 7x17, 8x07, 9x06, 11x18, 12x10 and 13x01 are really good especially for being pretty much twisted all around their relationship is a really intense upfront way, where the romance is kinda “how can you not see this???”… them being intense about each other also includes 4x16 but idk about how much romantic subtext is involved, as for me at least the romantic subtext kicks in at 6x20 and then while it’s not absent it doesn’t really get explored until Cas comes back from the dead and really into Carver era. There’s a bunch of other stuff which I think is really important but it depends on if you’re looking up scenes on youtube so I can suggest, like, the Burger Date in 10x09 or Cas’s speech about watching Dean murder the world in 10x22, or if you’re actually settling in for episodes and getting a more holistic experience of Destiel in the narrative and how it’s a fundamental part of the later storytelling and characterisation in the show :P

[shirtlesssammy]

8x23: Sacrifice

Welcome back to what might be our longest (and last) hellatus. This was a request that we were going to do after the series ended, but here we are. Enjoy!

Then:

Dean Winchester loves needs one (1) angel.

Now:

Jody Mills is on the Bumble date from Hell with “Roderick”. And by that, I mean she’s trying to put herself back out there after grieving the loss of her husband and son --and Roderick is really Crowley. 

Jody heads to the bathroom to pull herself together and Crowley starts his spellwork to threaten the Winchesters --again. Jody starts puking blood in the bathroom while Dean tries throwing his weight around negotiating the trials and demon/angel tablets. They make a deal, so YAY.

Kevin retrieves the demon tablet for the brothers. Dean gives him the key to the bunker. 

Cas, meanwhile, is chilling with his new friend, Metatron. He asks about God. Metatron describes God as “larger than life, gruff, bit of a sexist. But fair --eminently fair.” Hm, Metatron always did like to spin those stories. They’re outside a bar waiting for signs of the next angel trial --retrieving cupid’s bow. 

The brothers head to Sioux Falls to Bobby’s (probably theirs now?) salvage yard. Crowley is there waiting for them and ready to exchange tablets. He’s got a contract for them to sign --well, Sam to sign since he’s doing the trials. Dean demands to read the fine print before Sam signs anything. Sam unleashes his inner Veruca Salt and grabs the pen to sign. The brothers are not on the same page about this it seems. 

In Heaven, Naomi learns where Cas is --and that he’s with Metatron. 

Dean continues to read the contract and Crowley continues to needle him about how his humanity is a handicap. It’s revealed to all be just a ruse to distract Crowley when Dean throws some demon binding handcuffs on him. They tell Crowley that making him mortal is the third trial. 

Cas tries to speed up the love train for the bartender but fails awkwardly.

For Who Gives a Fuck if He’s Awkward Science:

Naomi and her squad show up. They take Metatron, leaving Cas alone. 

The brothers head to the church where the final trial will happen. They tie Crowley up and go over the game plan. Sam will inject purified blood into Crowley once an hour for eight hours. He’s going to have to confess to God to purify his blood and isn’t sure where to begin. Dean has some ideas, and, like, No ? He lists Ruby, Lilith, losing his soul, not looking for Dean in Purgatory ---and Chuck really would like a clip show of his favorite torture moments I’m sure, but support your brother a little, hmmm?

Anyway, while Sam heads to confession, Cas flaps in to ask Dean for help (like, is this the last time he flaps in to see Dean? I...really miss his wings.) He tells Dean that Naomi took Metatron, and explains that they were working on the angel trials --and planning on shutting Heaven and Hell down. 

Naomi wants answers from Metatron, and she pulls out a hand drill to extract them from him. 

Dean tells Cas that Sam needs his help more than Cas does. Sam pops up and tells Dean to go with Cas. Dean agrees and they fly off together while Sam starts the final trial.

Cas and Dean head to the bunker to have Kevin translate the angel tablet. There’s one problem: Kevin has never laid eyes on the thing before. He’s also done with all the prophet stuff. Cas, not done with all the angel badass stuff, begs to differ.

Sam continues to look SUPER rough. He’s doing so poorly, in fact, that Crowley gets the drop on him despite being tied to a chair. Crowley chomps a hole in Sam’s arm so that he can make a bloody phone call to any demon in range as soon as Sam steps away. GROSS

Dean and Cas get shot at by cupid’s arrow as a bow hunting demo airs on the bar’s TVs. Er, they wait for the cupid to arrive while continuing to strike out in the bar. Er, they wait for the cupid to arrive.

*Fourth Wall Dialogue Alert*

Cas: “You really think it’s wise to be drinking on the job?”

Dean: “What show’ve you been watching?”

Dean asks Cas about his plan to board up Heaven. He expresses worry that Cas is going to meet a bloody end locked away with the other angels. “So this is it,” Dean says fatalistically. “ET goes home.” He lingers on something unsaid, before a delivery worker arrives and distracts them. (“Nooooo,” I cry. “What were you going to say?”) The delivery lady is super cute. At last the love interest arrives! Is Ed finally going to meet his constant companion?! She bestows a glowing smile on Ed and Rod, the regular patron seated at the bar. Patting them both on the shoulder, she bids them farewell. Astonished, Dean watches the woman just…leave. 

Meanwhile, Ed and Rod mutually admire the drawing of a hunting bow on the TV. They lock eyes. Music swells! It’s love! While Dean stares gormlessly at the two lovebirds, Cas is already two steps ahead and on his way to track down the delivery driver - their cupid. 

Crowley sings Bowie to Sam as the floor cracks and ground shakes. Abaddon enters in all her stitched up glory. 

For Yes Please Science:

Sam gets hurled through a window, but Abaddon….isn’t exactly aiming to help out the current King of Hell. She wallops Crowley instead, intending to claim the throne for herself. Sam races back in, douses Abaddon in fire, and sends her smoky demon form into the night. 

Dean and Cas corner the cupid outside of the bar. Cas demands her bow, blade sliding from his sleeve. In what could be a first for him, Dean counsels, “Talk first, stab later.” MADE FOR EACH OTHER!

The cupid tells Cas that she’s avoided Heaven as its leadership has fallen. She offers the bow freely and Cas raises his blade to cut it from her palm. YIKES

In Heaven, Metatron confronts Naomi with a bloodied eye. (We clutch our blankets to our chests and think of Cas’s “re-programming” with renewed horror.) Metatron reflects that losing God was the worst thing he endured, and then he was run out of Heaven by the upper echelons of Heaven. “Did you really think you could do all of that to me and there would be no payback?” he asks. 

In Hell Quest Central, Sam sets Crowley upright again now that Abaddon has fled the building. He repaints the devil’s trap and continues the trials. Crowley drops movie reference after movie reference and I can’t help but point out that he’s targeting the WRONG WINCHESTER with those overtures. “I deserve to be loved!” Crowley declares at last, and emotion crests over him, taking both Sam and Crowley by surprise. As the cure continues, things get quiet. Crowley asks Sam how he asked for forgiveness because he doesn’t even know where to start with his own soul. 

Kevin can’t find the Heaven trials anywhere in the tablet and while Dean’s arguing with him, Naomi flaps in to talk to Cas. 

Naomi insists that Metatron is playing Cas, lying to him so he can get help enacting his revenge. “This is what you do,” Cas growls. “You twist things.” VALID mistrust! Naomi tells them that Metatron’s plan is to expel all angels from Heaven.

“Our mission was to protect what God created,” Naomi says with tears in her eyes. “I don’t know where we forgot that.” She offers up an overture, telling Dean that if Sam finishes the trials then he will die. Naomi picked that knowledge directly from Metatron’s head. 

After Naomi flaps away, Dean orders Kevin to find out if it’s true that Sam will die. Cas flies Dean to Sam, then flaps away to finish what he started. Just as Sam is about to do the final rite, Dean races into the church and shouts for him to stop.

In Naomi’s office, Cas discovers her sprawled out (mostly) dead on the desk, her probe jabbed into her brain. Metatron confronts Cas with an angel blade to his throat. Naomi was telling the truth! That rumpled eccentric is out for revenge!

Meanwhile, Dean explains to an actual, GLOWING Sam that he’ll die if he completes the trials. “So?” Sam asks. SAM BBY.

Upstairs, Cas is strapped to Naomi’s torture chair while Metatron placates him. 

He cuts a slit in Cas’s throat to extract his grace, and counsels him to go back to Earth and settle down for the rest of his life. Metatron tells Cas that he didn’t endure trials. Instead, he helped Metatron to gather ingredients for a powerful spell. He gathers Cas’s grace to finish the spell and just before he zaps Cas on a one way trip to Earth, he tells him to come see him when he’s dead so he can hear his story. 

Sam argues with Dean about the trials. He insists that Dean absolutely CAN fight the forces of evil on his own. Sam tells him that he’s been a lodestone around Dean’s neck for a long time. His greatest sin was “how many times I let you down.” OH SAMMY! 

“I know we’ve had our disagreements,” Dean argues, “I killed Benny to save you. I’m willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches who killed mom walk because of you, so don’t you dare think that there is anything past or present that I would put in front of you.” 

Sam listens to this and finally gasps, “How do I stop?” Dean wraps a handkerchief around Sam’s hand and tells him to let go of the spell. Sam stops glowing…which is great! Except he collapses in agony which is…less great. Dean calls for Cas desperately. 

Cas wakes in a field and strides out to a lakeshore. 

Sirens clang in the bunker, locking Kevin inside. And outside…stars fall. The angels are being expelled from Heaven, their wings burning as they plummet to the Earth. 

We’re just going to end this recap with a bunch of gifs, ‘kay? 

Waiting for a Quote to Fall:

It’s not a date until I’ve cried

This is a secret lair. You understand me? No keggers

Would you say that you're looking for, uh, a partner in crime? Or someone who's into nurse role-play and light domination?

There is no out. Only duty

Do you really think it's wise to be drinking on the job?

Talk first, stab later

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[elizabethrobertajones]

Hi! Ive been really confused about the whole Dean Cas relationship. Like I know Dean cares for Cas deeply but it's no where near what Cas has done for Dean(giving up everything he has) So like am I not noticing something here or like is their dynamic like that?

I don’t think relationships should be measured by what one gives up for the other. I think it’s something the show accidentally imparts with all the dramatic self-sacrifice but it’s something the show has also been trying to dismantle since season 8, with the plot thread of showing the codependency between Sam and Dean as unhealthy instead of something to glorify, and attempting to move them to a healthier place with more people to rely on and less dependence on each other to the point of ceasing to function when the other is dead.

I’m sorry to keep going back to @superspecpod but maybe it’s just because it’s out loud meta so the words stick in my head differently, but I’m remembering them talking in the most recent (���super lost plotlines” or something) about how Cas would want to see Dean sacrifice for him in a way for the narrative to show us Dean cares as much for Cas as he does for Sam, and as Cas does for him. But at the same time really really don’t want it for Dean’s sake because it will be putting him in a really bad place, regressing his dependent tendencies back again but putting them on Cas instead of Sam, and just be another character development mountain to climb.

I think it’s also weird that the way the show has been telling it, things swing around about how much we think one or the other loves more desperately than the other - I remember reading season 8 meta that was deeply upset or addressing deep upset that Dean seemed to love Cas enormously but Cas wouldn’t reciprocate and was there a chance Cas would EVER seem to love Dean as much as Dean loves him? 

I also think that as of 12x19 the show is officially starting to convey that Cas’s give it all up for Dean over and over pattern is just as bad for him as Dean’s similar problem with sacrificing for Sam, so the fact Cas keeps on doing it is a problem he needs help with not a way that he gestures he loves Dean so much more.

I think honestly, though, you can see how much Dean loves Cas ALL the time and it does not have to be in grand gestures to be enormous and meaningful. He bonds very closely to Cas immediately and disproportionately trusts him to talk to about deep and meaningful things, like their conversation in 4x07, or the one in the hospital bed in 4x16, or the absent fathers conversation in 5x17 (and I think actually a gifset just fell out my queue recently showing Cas giving up on God in 5x16 and the reaction shot Dean had in the middle of that - he FEELS for Cas). I think he has a deep and important feeling for Cas that grows naturally and well and is the healthiest and best relationship he has in his life - even over Bobby who is a bit of a double edged sword of tough love and alcoholism enabling. 

I once asked what the earliest moment of like… just raw affection for Cas Dean ever showed was and the answer was fairly unanimous about the end of 5x04:

I mean, like… Yeah, this is what their dynamic is but I think Dean’s honestly got the better end of the stick because he’s not navigating it as an angel who’s never bothered to care about relationship drama in a zillion years until walking smack into an epic romance, and Dean is far from perfect at handling his feelings for Cas but in no way is this a sad thing for Cas that Dean somehow won’t return his feelings clearly enough via sacrificing himself.

I think for Dean a lot of it is marked by losing Cas and reacting in ways which show us how much he cared but couldn’t say it - I don’t think it’s defined by actions so much as what Dean has not SAID to Cas. 

In 6x20, which for me is The Shipping Episode that got me on this track way back when, Cas and Dean BOTH show love and heartbreak and it’s the nature of it which breaks them up. Cas loves Dean fiercely and protectively and the metaphor of him watching invisibly and deciding what is best for Dean applies broadly to him as an angel in this position of what he thinks is responsibility or on the flip side, in service to Dean as a guardian angel of sorts (and in this episode he openly admits he considers himself to be their guardian, which I see as basically another seal breaking on his downfall that year). Dean on the other hand is devoted and protective emotionally, desperate to give Cas the benefit of doubt and not to believe that Cas - CAS, you guys! - could possibly be working behind their backs on a stinking awful plan. The betrayal hurts Dean so much and it’s all shown in contrast to Bobby and Sam, who form a fairly rational side to the issue, and walk on eggshells around Dean about it. As much as the episode reveals Cas’s investment in Dean, it reveals Dean’s in Cas. And by the last scene where they talk privately, that it really is about THEM and their personal philosophy and their investment in each other, that is what the whole mess is truly about. 

And in season 7 Dean takes Cas’s death and betrayal extremely hard (and personally, since Sam and Bobby are still hanging out not taking it so hard) and cites it repeatedly as why he’s so messed up and having issues with everything… And then Cas comes back and Dean gets most of an episode to react to it, plus private time to talk to Cas in 7x21 in one of the best scenes of the show where they play Sorry and when you take it from Dean’s side, he’s so so frustrated and feels he’s still lost Cas and can’t talk to him, and he just wants things to go back to how they were and skip to the end of the game where it’s all better and they’ve apologised because it’s just so hard to deal with all of this at once that Cas being back has brought up for him… Like this is his face when he’s working up the courage to go into the room and talk to Cas…

And everything about it, really - just that it’s on Dean to have this conversation and it’s on Dean to make up with Cas. Season 7′s entire plot can only resolve when Dean properly makes up with Cas. Getting Dick is ONLY something they can do when Dean and Cas are friends again. And that entire thing rests on Dean to work through his complicated feelings about Cas and give him a heartfelt moment which will get to the apologies and forgiveness PROPERLY and meaningfully… I mean we do not talk enough about how season 7 DEPENDS on the Destiel arc resolving in order for them to resolve the main arc killing the big bad stuff. It’s basically a power of love thing. Although it’s not intentional because they killed Cas off for good at the start of the season, it ended up turning the structure of the season into betrayal and death, to resurrection and forgiveness. And as the season starts on Godstiel right in the crosshairs and ends on Dean and Cas making up, fighting Dick, and in Purgatory together (and then not), it’s genuinely the most Destiel-structured season I can think of, because it plays THAT key a role… And because of the way Cas is written, it’s almost entirely about DEAN’S love for Cas, and not the other way around. Cas is incapacitated on dealing with this arc for the entire season except “I’ll find some way to redeem myself to you” and Cas’s memory coming back flashbacks - all the rest is stuff we get from Dean’s perspective or about Dean’s feelings. He kept the trenchcoat!!!

And in season 8 where people were worried Cas wouldn’t reciprocate Dean, we have all the stuff like 8x07′s Gothic romance horror intro of Cas in visions and lightning storms and Dean mis-remembering what happened in Purgatory to not feel Cas’s rejection so sharply and blame himself for Cas dying instead, and Cas controlled and disappearing off because Naomi was stopping him from chilling with his friends or repenting for what he did to Heaven on his own terms… I actually think that 8x17 shows more strongly that Cas loves Dean because of all the stuff we see from inside Cas’s head and all the dead Deans, so I guess the meta I mentioned was more worried that Cas would never be in a place he could say or understand it? Or very shortsighted, forgetting season 6. But anyway in the crypt scene Dean helps Cas overcome the brainwashing by pleading to him from a place of love and that’s after what is basically summed up by “if he’s so sketchy why were you praying to him” because 8x16 really showed that Dean cared about CAS as much as he cared about Cas’s ability to heal Sam, when he made the deeply intimate prayer to him. 

And in 8x23 Dean hangs with Cas for 8 hours and gets halfway through the ET goes home speech before it’s interrupted, but clearly shows how much it hurts him that Cas is locking himself away in Heaven. I don’t care that it’s understated and interrupted, it’s a hugely powerful “I don’t want to say goodbye” moment and it means as much to me as a huge personal sacrifice or something, because this is all showing Dean getting to grips with just how much Cas means to him and how much he doesn’t want to lose him, which like season 7 focusing on Dean learning to talk to Cas and forgive him, are all core relationship building blocks to show us how much Dean loves Cas and to help Dean through understanding Cas and how he feels… Since the “I need you” he’s on a path where he’s struggling to find the right words, and between them it’s REALLY words not actions.

In season 9 he is worried about Cas to start with, flips out in 9x03 while looking for him, but then the show wants us to know how fucked up things are between him and Sam that it uses kicking Cas out as another blow for how far Dean will go to protect Sam. It’s meant to be awful because Cas means SO MUCH to Dean it wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t care, but it’s like the sort of violation of cutting off a limb to save Sam. And the fact it hurts so much and he feels so awful and goes to Cas in 9x06 and struggles with telling him or not in 9x09 is important too. It’s small things but that doesn’t mean it’s unimportant that Dean spends this time with Cas struggling and guilty. 

When he takes the Mark he gets distant from Cas and yet he still has emotionally charged interactions and in 9x22, all angry and messed up with the Mark, he brings up a lot of their past conflict out of mis-directed fear for Cas (which season 12 has in their fight in 12x10 as well) and yet at the end of the episode he saves basically his last smile for months for Cas because in the middle of everything he takes the lesson that Cas will do anything for him and seems to truly care for him - and it’s all being contrasted against how messed up things are with Sam, that he snaps at him that it’s a dictatorship and then walks around the corner to TRY and be gentle with Cas… 

Again, really understated but when its showing his raw feelings for Cas vs Sam at that point, it’s all flipped around from the start of the season being unfairly weighed towards Sam to now looking better for Cas, because he’s so done with having a brother (as demon!Dean will tell us at great length in a few episodes >.>) - I think also the fact Dean is becoming demonised contrasted with the “in love with humanity” stuff going on with Cas is meant to be deeply ironic that as Cas is finally getting to grips with his feelings for Dean via Metatron’s endless taunting, Dean is losing the ability to give back, and it’s a tragedy that he loses this softness.

In season 10 Dean looks so lost when Cas leaves in 10x03 and that’s all miscommunication and not saying the right words to him when Cas has now moved around to being the one who leaves (and I think Dean thinks Cas and Hannah are an item, which does NOT help). He’s distant with Cas all season (except the Burger Date where he sends Sam away to talk to Cas and ask how he’s doing :’)) but there’s the Colette parallel and I think it’s generally accepted if you stayed on board with it that 10x22 proved that Cas was Colette, Dean’s romantic figure and with 10x14 more clear as well that Crowley was Cain’s Abaddon in that list, since 9x11 implied they’d had a thing as well so there was a love triangle with them just as with Dean Cas and Crowley. Anyway 10x22 was awful but the culmination of that irony about Cas losing Dean’s heart, and a tiny weeny hope for Cas that Dean didn’t kill him and could still be saved from the Mark. And another communication block that Cas poured out a ton of huge emotional words and Dean was in a place where he could not reply or accept that Cas would be with him forever whether he likes it or not.

In season 11 thankfully we go back to Dean caring about Cas and he does so in spades, going back to being the one to talk to him on the phone, asking about him, and then when he’s possessed, worrying about him and driving himself spare trying to find a way to save him. 11x17 only happened because Sam wanted to get Dean out of the house to stop him wasting away into a pile of obscure lore books about Lucifer. They didn’t NEED to flash back and explain how the Winchesters got on the case, at least as far back as the Bunker, but they did and it was 99% to tell us that Sam was concerned about how hurt Dean was. The end of 11x14 was also more importantly about Cas because even if it was about an incidental thing that happened in one episode, those things always serve the main arc and since the submarine wasn’t ever a thing again, that last look was aaaaall about Cas or to compare how Dean felt about the smaller thing to the bigger thing and make it that much harder to handle - losing Cas.

Dean is shown to OBVIOUSLY and DEEPLY love Cas without doing anything stupid to save him, but in 11x18 he argues to the point of ridiculousness about protecting Cas to achieve their goals, and when they inevitably get to the confrontation, Crowley and Sam concede to Dean’s wish to talk to Cas first and at least TRY to get him to kick Lucifer out. And Dean is a wreck while this all goes down:

and keeps yelling for Cas long after Lucifer regains control, Amara shows up, etc. And considering the season he had so far with Amara, the episode shows that hands down weird bond with God’s sister or no, if Cas is in the room then Dean’s first priority is him.

The whole set up is soaked in love narrative stuff thanks to Amara and earlier MotW in the midseason using buckets of tropes and outright telling Dean he’s in love with someone… Dean might not have done anything self-sacrificing at this point but it’s obvious that his love is not just, like… caring a lot for Cas… but something huge and defining and powerful enough for him to forget all the enormous forces in the room beyond his control and to call for Cas and to fight for him above everything else. 

And in 11x21 he goes and does something reckless and potentially self-sacrificing to buy time for Sam to take the weirdest group of characters ever to rescue Lucifer - and by Lucifer he means Cas. He goes and confronts Amara and she sees that he’s distracted and buying time and that once again his concern for Cas is a stronger pull on his thoughts than even the great abyss of peace and quiet she offers him if she were to consume him. Essentially, he loves Cas enough to overcome this call of oblivion which he and Amara both say he’s deeply drawn to. 

In 11x23 there’s more miscommunication and not having the right words where he calls Cas a brother while trying to convey how much he means to him, still ducking under what Cas means to him AND Sam which I think was important in that moment to let Cas know he’s family through and through - and season 12 works on this more by using Mary to create an even larger family unit for him to be a part of. I think Cas saying he loves them in 12x12 raises the bar to the sort of communication Dean needs to reciprocate and hasn’t done verbally. But aside from all the other regular stuff where Dean is singled out to be concerned about Cas, like… all of 12x10 for example, where Dean’s concern for Cas is clearly shown and compared to romantic love, and to be the more pure, uncomplicated, just plain… I love you… feeling going on there. He also corrects finally that when he’s pissed at Cas it’s because he’s worried because he loves him so much he doesn’t want Cas to get hurt not that he’s angry about what Cas did. Though of course he doesn’t use “love”, because that would get us too far. But still, the burden of showing love and care to Cas is on Dean. And oh boy now I can crack out my favourite gif :D

The Hand Clench, aka I love you so much it hurts but I’m scared to express it so I will just touch you in a lingering way and then  be really alarmed by how it feels because touching you isn’t like touching everyone else. In 12x12 his touch also lingers when he helps Cas up at the end. And he denies how bad it is when Cas is dying and we get personal reactions about how it affects Dean emotionally that we do not get with Sam and Mary in the same way, that they’re concerned for Cas directly, but Dean is both that AND taking a personal loss at the same time.

And then at some undefined point in the story, Dean gave Cas a mixtape, and honestly just find my mixtape tag (top 13 zepp traxx) and have a scroll about what everyone else shrieked. But it’s a gesture of love, however you read it (unless your reading is PRETENDING that this isn’t a trope and if it is the trope means nothing), and a scene with beautiful romantic subtext. And this is meant to convey to us that offscreen Dean does gestures of kindness to Cas, and that away even from Cas Dean stressed over making this tape. And there is something of a revelation in that Dean made Cas a mixtape, because holy crap is it a powerful emotional thing to do and a way to convey some deep deep feelings of love and care. Like, Dean is at “give your crush a mixtape” levels of feeling for Cas. Non-verbally, he’s screaming at Cas that he loves him.

And again, that is a HEALTHY, NORMAL romantic trope which to me has far more power than self-sacrifice and giving things up for love. It’s about building things UP for love. For creating and sharing. For a scene that makes it clear that Dean just wants Cas AROUND, for him not to leave, for them to be together as a team and a family. And we’re right back to the irony that Cas is struggling to belong and not on this same level where Dean is working through stuff he probably hasn’t felt and acted on since, like… Cassie… Maybe trying to do nice things for Lisa sometimes between season 5 and 6. That feeling of love being powerful in a good way where it brings things into your life and you want to foster closeness and connection and not lose this person over and over and over again. 

So of course Cas leaves to do things on a big scale to protect Dean in ways Dean doesn’t want. Like season 6, he’d rather just Cas be WITH him through thick and thin and the fight be horrible and hard to win but at least they’re in it together. 

And Cas is the sort of person that I think Dean would want to fight alongside and win with, instead of his repeatedly predicted endgame of dying alone and bloody in a fight. That sort of, I don’t want to die for you, I want to live for you love, as some gifset I reblogged recently smashed my heart with. Which has been shown in several of these examples like 11x21 where he overcame what was essentially Amara’s call for him to die because of Cas. And in 12x09 Cas metaphorically kills Billie in a way to end Dean’s determination to sacrifice for his family and make these deals (because of course he made that deal meaning to be the Winchester to die and it all went out of his control). I think it’s something they’re working on bit by bit and it’s only just starting to sneak into the main arcs, like how I think it only became a real discussion for Cas in 12x19 not to sacrifice for them any more and just to be with Dean. 

But I really really do not want Dean’s love for Cas to not be seen as equal or balanced until he does something to sacrifice himself for Cas because I think the love he shows is already strong, and good, and weirdly uncomplicated at least in many of the ways things in Dean’s life ARE complicated. Maybe it has some other complications but NOT the ones which make his family so painful for him and create these terrible displays of self-sacrifice. I don’t think Dean doing that for Cas will make his love somehow more valid. And likewise I think he’ll be happier with his love for Sam or Mary when he doesn’t feel the obligation to die for them because that’s as much about his self-worth and other struggles than his actual LOVE for them. I don’t think you can love harder by hurting yourself for someone. (Which just reminds me of 12x07 and Lucifer thinking this was what was good and getting that poor fan to carve Vince’s name into her chest.)

So… gah. Yes of course their dynamic is different but it is no way imbalanced that Dean does not love Cas ~as much~ just because Cas self-sacrifices for Dean. It’s a false measure of love which can’t be use for point scoring  or it just ignores every other feeling they ever have.

[elizabethrobertajones]

12x14 & 12x15

I got an anon about this like halfway through the hiatus that I responded to like, yes right after 12x15 I meant to make this gifset. Ooops. I also have a whole bunch of anons I thought may or may not have been indirectly answered by other stuff on my blog but were all asking about what was going to happen to Cas, and I haven’t been able to put words to it the entire month.

Anyway these gifs after the first 2 are in no particular order or chosen to be a side by side, but possibly chronological because my gif-collecting was a haphazard mess. But the last ones are definitely “you’re a killer” and “btw Joshua” reaction shots, and I think are where Ketch and Kelvin played their cards. 

Obviously both then go with their respective offer to see what it’s all about, but my hope/assumption/tentative speculation is that this is a fairly direct parallel, based on how these two are in general with their story arcs, and also after rewatching a little chunk of season 12 I realised just how many small moments are repeated between characters, in fairly direct ways, and this is hopefully just a version where we’ve been left hanging on Cas’s side for the equivalent of the hotel scene with Dean and Ketch, to be picked up again later.

Of course Dean also then the next episode has his arm twisted to work with the BMoL anyway, at least on his terms, and Cas going along with Kelvin can crunch this parallel down into him working with Heaven in probably similar ways to Dean and the BMoL, we’ll hopefully see how that goes tonight in a way which will give us a lot of material to speculate/understand things. 

But at least these two conversations side by side, when you watch these episodes back to back, offer a pretty clear suggestion that, structurally, we have this parallel of Cas to Dean’s unsuccessful career day pitch from Ketch, and Cas is NOT ET-ing back home like he threatened to in 8x23, which seemed to be a few people’s fear... and honestly I’m still not sure what all the various main thoughts are on that still. Maybe everyone’s been waiting and doesn’t know what to make of it yet.