#7x04 was objectively funny and these are really fun to write

[gregorygerwitz]

AITA for maiming my best friend?

I (32M) have known my best friend, E (32M), for about 6 years. We met through work when he started at my firehouse, and we kind of clicked by the end of our first shift. These are long stories, but I help him out with his son, C (13M), a lot, I take C to the zoo regularly, and we (C and I) got caught in the tsunami a few years ago when we went to the pier for the day. E has me in his will to take custody of C if anything happens to him. When I say he's my best friend, I mean he's like family, and we've been family for a while.

Last month, our team kind of borrowed an LAFD helicopter to save our captain and his wife when their cruise ship was capsized (yeah! that cruise ship!), so my future brother-in-law called an old buddy of his, T (45M), who's a helicopter pilot to fly us into a hurricane. T is super cool! He's a pilot, and he used to be at my firehouse before I got there, and he used to be in the army (like E!), and he likes karaoke and trivia and basketball and Star Wars.

E and T got really close after we did the helicopter rescue. T flew E to Vegas for a fight that he got ring-side tickets for (which meant T couldn't go out to get a beer with me, even though I think he wanted to). They went to a karaoke trivia night together. And when E was telling me about it, I kind of thought he was going to invite me, too, but he just asked me to babysit C for him that night instead. I love C, he's a great kid, but I was kind of sad I didn't get to spend time with my best friend.

When I was babysitting C, I saw E's day planner on the fridge. Underneath a take-out menu, there was something written in for this Thursday - "B.B.P.U. w/ T" - basketball pick up game with T (my sister made me explain it to her) - and it was CIRCLED - but it's this game that first responders have every other Thursday. E has asked me to go a few times, but I don't like basketball so I always say no.

Anyway, C kept talking about T all night while we ate dinner and played videogames. And T apparently lied to C about his favorite Star Wars movie to make C like him more??? Which should be illegal.

So I asked my BIL to go to the basketball game with me, and he kept asking why I suddenly like basketball (I don't like it, it's a stupid sport), all the way to the court. E teased me, too, but that's just what E does. But we played basketball against E and T and the rest of their team, and I wasn't doing too bad. And then E and T high fived a lot and were acting like they're best friends, even though E is my best friend, not T's, and I got frustrated.

I accidentally (?) knocked E over when he was going for a basket. My BIL said E sprained his ankle and was lucky I didn't break his leg when I knocked him down.

My sister says I was acting like a 14 year old girl, and I know she's kind of right. But it wasn't on purpose, I don't think.

AITA?

UPDATE: apparently I like guys???

UPDATE 2: a lot of the comments think I'm in love with E. no, he's just my best friend! T kissed me. we have a date on Saturday.