#6. HIS MOM IS HITTING ON HIM???? his mom who is objectively hot in the past is hitting on him and he's in her bed with no pants on and ohhh
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was having trans marty thoughts again and i came to a realization about this scene
#back to the future#bttf#bttf fanart#marty mcfly#lorraine baines#lorraine mcfly#kit does an art#drew this one a while back and was hoping to save it until i compiled enough doodles in the same genre#but i like it better as a standalone picture bc it's funny so. here you go#poor marty he had so much going on in this scene alone#and if you think about him being trans it just adds another layer to that#1. just woke up from getting hit by a car#2. realized he wasn't dreaming and he definitely is in the past#3. that's his mom. in the past#4. his mom is HOT in the past. wasn't she born a nun or something this is wrong and terrible and he hates everything about this realization#5. where are his pants. why does he have no pants where are his pants. they're halfway across the room??? why are they over there#6. HIS MOM IS HITTING ON HIM???? his mom who is objectively hot in the past is hitting on him and he's in her bed with no pants on and ohhh#oh god. she took off his pants. to look at his underwear. and guys usually have something noticeably under the wear don't they. oh shit#7. SHE TOTALLY NOTICED. SHE'S GONNA ASK AND HE'S GONNA HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT AND IT'S GOING TO BE SO AWKWARD AND BAD#8. there's no way someone in the 50s is gonna get it she's either going to think he's a girl (problem 6 is taken care of but replaced with#perhaps an equally uncomfortable experience) or like. they're going to stone him or something he doesn't know how they react to this stuff#in the 50s#luckily for marty the last 2 problems never happen but that still would've been a very stressful minute just thinking about it#she was so perplexed by the purple underwear ig she just didn't notice haha.#kit yap session#for the tags. as usual
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Lily can't keep her own "Sympathetic" Villains rules Straight: Anthony Gramuglia edition
See Crim's edition for the rules and outlines. Here we go.
Lily's Response to Ant:
Lily's probably going to get a significantly worse score on this one because me and Ant I think have similar media diets. We begin:
1. In the book, 100% he is THE villain. The movie not as much. Still though, I think movie Hammond more than fit's Lily's criteria. -1 life found a way
2. We already went over this (yes I am still writing p.3 of my Magneto post.) -1 Anthro cow delivering your children
3. Kyubey's keeping the universe from ending Lily. How could you get closer to having a point than that? -1 timeline
4. See Crim's post. He does fail #2. Again though, by Lily's original parameters this was a valid entry. But I have to give her the point. +1 spider gets it's legs ripped off
5. I bet she thought this was clever. -1 gate keeper.
6.N/A
7. I don't even know what she's talking about here. -1
8. Del Toro sends his regards. -1 Nerdy fish man.
9. LILY HASN'T SEEN THE BROADWAY SMASH HIT PLANET OF THE APES THE MUSICAL, STARRING TROY MCCLURE!? For shame! -1 (has anyone else watched that movie recently? I'm not saying it's aged poorly, but like, it is profoundly unintentionally hilarious, watching it in the modern day. I know this was like, the whole thing back then-- leading men who were too cool for school, but Taylor is such a fucking asshole. Cornelius is the real hero of the film, and everyone bullies him for not matching their lunatic energy. #justiceforCornelius #GeorgeTaylorisoverparty)
10. N/A (Trekkies don't try me.)
11. N/a
12. N/A (I mean I feel like I've probably seen the whole Mummy franchise just through memes at this point but. Lily's reasoning here is fucking asinine though-- as per usually Ant us uniquely getting her goat.)
13. This is actually the first example that breaks rule #3. Sorry fam I love Elfen Lied too, but it's a bit of a hot mess. +1 dead puppy
14. Scar is a dead ringer to Lily's criteria. She straight up just didn't have a pot to piss in, so she just wrote "no." -1 Dwarf in a flask
15. For the record, my boomer mom has seen Ghost in the Shell. The movie anyway. -1 body on loan
16. I watched this as a kid but can't really remember anything about it, so, I gotta put it as N/A.
17. This might actually be the first time I've seen anyone else memtion this movie . . . But still. -1 burnt wheelchair
18. Not plus ultra. -1 for all
19. Oh fuck off Lily. Glass houses. -1 jutsu
20. Sai, Crim and Ant spoke pretty extensively about this one. -1 angry hair raise
21. This one too. -1 demon pig
22. Yes she is. -1 dad
23. See Crim's list. -1 Prisoner 24601
24. N/A
25. Read ANY book, Lily. -1 absent godly parent.
26. I've only read the first one. N/A
27. Lily's reason here is bullshit but I haven't seen Columbo either. N/A
28. Why not Lily? -1 Jimbo
29. YES SHE FUCKING IS LILY. Just because in a modern context her story is a lot more tragic doesn't mean she isn't intended to be a villain. Lily made up the rule "has a point," but if they have an iron clad one she just declares them not a villain. -1 head
30. OBJECTION! NOW YOU REMEMBER VILLAIN AND ANTAGONIST ARENT TRUE SYNONYMS FOR EACH OTHER!? -1 Lily if you could just ONCE try to engage with a media discussion honestly.
31. N/A. I'll get around to watching it.
32. Not in Dracula Untold. -1 Damn Luke Evans looks like he was cloned from Orlando Bloom. I can't tell those two apart.
33. DIFFERENT DRACULAS. HOLY SHIT. -1 Lily this rational is so piss poor it's embarrassing. Even for you.
34. N/A
35. Isn't he in Kingdom Hearts? -1 Ah Ha Ha Ha
36. Another non-surprise. -1 traveler on his way home.
37. I haven't played enough Kurby to know why Meta Knight is a sympathetic villain. N/A
38. I've played enough to know Lily's right on this one. +1 Deddeddeedeeededededeeedede
39. A) several characters on both Crim and Ants' lists have been protagonists. B) IT'S FUCKING COMMON POPCULTURE KNOWLEDGE DONKEY KONG WAS THE ANTAGONIST IN THE FIRST APPEARANCE OF BOTH MARIO AND DK. -1 Lily I'm fucking shocked you don't know this. Genuinely. That's saying something, considering it's you.
40. Solid Lily continues to be the worst one. -1 LIQUIDDDDDDDD
41. Yes she is. Her point is the magic is what keeps her fucking family safe. -1 gift
42. You'd probably like this movie actually, Lily. Not the book, but. Or maybe not, there's no incest lesbians I guess. -1 sexy tree
43. I'm going to give Lily the point to maintain consistency that mind-manipulation doesn't count as "a point." Before he put on the crown he's not really even an antagonist, so. He IS an example of a sympathetic villain, however. +1
44. THERE ARE OTHER ANIMALS ON THIS LIST. Another one who's spot on, so she can't figure out how to even pretend to argue against it. -1 Beauty who killed the beast
45. GODZILLA ISN'T LITERALLY A NUKE. -1 pop culture jokes don't substitute proper media analysis
46. The Kaiju Lily. Her name is the title of the film. It's not Ant's fault You're too lazy to Google shit. -1 Viking Relic
(Biollante would have been my personal pick for sympathetic Kaiju. And her dad. She would have broken Lily's first rule since she's probably not aware of exactly what's happened to her, but. Her father at least fits Lily's criteria. A lot of the Kaiju are sympathetic though.)
47. This is a perfect example as to why Lily's rules are ridiculous. John Kramer is, in my opinion, outrageously unjustified in what he does. He follows her rules though. Having a bad point is still having a point. How "well written" he is wildly different depending on the movie, but because he's at least well written sometimes I'm counting him. -1 foot
48. You haven't read Paradise Lost Lily. I know you haven't. -1 Satan crying for everything he's lost
49. God Lily I wish you'd actually read something for once because this is an even better example as to why your rules are a joke. -1 Facist Worm King
50. This is a specific example. -1 tears, it's a waist of good suffering.
LILY'S FINAL SCORE: 19/50
38% - F
Got wrong: 24
Got right: 2
Removing the ones I haven't seen:
19/39
48% - F
Removing the ones Lily hasn't seen:
15/37
40% - F
Removing the ones we both haven't seen:
2/26
7% - F
#lily orchard#lily orchard critical#anti lily orchard#lily peet#lorch posting#lily orchard stuff#youtube#eldrich lily#liquid orcard#anthony gramuglia
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Wolfstar x Friends (Truthful Thanksgiving Day!)
This is a wolfstar fanfic based on Friends’ season 6 episode 9: “The One Where Ross Got High.”
Remus realizes that he should go and check on Sirius and help him in setting the plates for today’s Thanksgiving dinner. Sirius has taken the lead in cooking department and was very emphatic about his dislike towards people interfering and commenting about his cooking skills, so Remus has been smart enough to steer clear from his way. However, as the game finishes at Marlene and Dorcas’ apartment, who were also their neighbors, Remus gets up and tells them that he’ll meet later. He is always hopeful when Marlene and Dorcas are left alone because there is always a chance was for them stop their pining and finally becomes more than just roommates.
He comes in his and Sirius’ apartment, and finds that Sirius is looking drop-dead gorgeous, wearing muggle clothes. Half buttoned red collar shirt, black pants and damp hair dripping into his silver eyes, which means he just came out from a shower as the scent of tropical shower gel is also mixing with the aroma of turkey filling the room. Sirius looks up when he senses his presence, and beams up with the widest smile. Remus smiles back but then the other one is smiling for too long, and also there is something strange about that smile—something uncomfortable—as if he is sitting on a cactus plant but struggling to pretend that all is well.
“So guess who’s coming to Thanksgiving dinner?” Sirius says, still smiling weirdly.
“Filch and Mrs. Norris?” Remus jokes, and flops down on the sofa in Sirius’ direction.
“I miss James.” Sirius rolls his eyes, “No, Effie and Monty!”
“Oh that’s great!” Remus relaxes, “They haven’t seen the place since I moved in.”
Suddenly, Sirius is grinning a little too wide, and looking anywhere but him.
“Yeah, and if you don’t mention that we live together that’ll be great! I was thinking about eating around 4!” He says all that in one breath, and Remus has to take a second to process of those words, and then it hit him.
“Why can’t I tell them that we live together?” Remus asks, trying his best to ignore the way Sirius was becoming jumpy and nervous as he starts to stir something white in the bowl.
“Cause they don’tknowthatwearedating. Do you think we should eat in the kitchen?”
“Why haven’t you told them?” Remus asks, a little confused.
“Well…ummm,” Sirius finally looks at him, his eyes guilty and soft, “I was going to, I really was, but at some part out of nowhere, I didn’t.”
Remus was too much concentrated on the way Sirius was becoming too much fidgety that it was almost entertaining to watch him, but he retaliates anyway.
“What!? Why haven’t you told them? Wouldn’t they be happy? I mean they mean so much to you! They are just as your parents as James’—“
“SO! DINNER IN THE KITCHEN AROUND FOUR! I’LL SEE YOU THEN!” Sirius’ voice is raised, and his face is a too sardonic to keep Remus from chuckling a little.
“Sirius…” Remus calls him in a singing voice which never fails to dissipate the tension from Sirius’ body, as he stops and looks at him with big puppy eyes, “Why wouldn’t they be happy?”
“Well, umm, because, umm mainly,” Remus is getting irritated until the other finally says, “They don’t like you.”
“WHAT!?” Remus is gaping at him because not even in his drunken mind he ever had the thought that James’ parents would not like hm. They were too good to take Sirius in as their second son, the Potters were the only pureblood family to be the best in their hospitality, and were very much embracing as they didn’t object when Sirius told them that he was gay.
“I’m sorry! Remus!” Sirius becomes jumpy again, advancing at Remus to calm him.
“Why! Why don’t they like me??”
“I don’t know…I mean maybe you are very quiet and sarcastic...and that may consider to be rude or something…or maybe because when you are reading, you don’t respond people who are trying to tell you an idea for making your bed a little hotter?”
Remus crosses his arms, looks at Sirius, deadpanned face.
“Is this why they don’t like me, or you don’t like me?”
Sirius smiles guiltily, “I know I should’ve told them, and I don’t really care what they think, love, but I’m sorry.”
“You know what, it’ll be okay!” Remus suddenly feels optimistic because of course, it’s not Sirius’ fault and he hates to see the guilt in his eyes, “Because when they come over, I will be all charming. I will make them fall in love with me, and then we’ll tell them.”
“You really think that would work?” Sirius’ silver eyes lights up.
“Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe. Won you over didn’t I?” Sirius laughs and leans in to brush his nose with his.
“I don’t think my parents would ever be a hopeless romantic like me.” They kiss the tension away, and then after waits for James, Peter and Marlene to come over for the dinner. Apparently, Dorcas have just moved in with Marlene, and according to her, she is going to meet some of her dancer friends to celebrate Thanksgiving, much to Marlene and Peter’s enthusiasm because Hot dancer friends and hopeless singles? Why Not?
The Potters comes to Sirius and Remus’ apartment, and there is all meet and greet session going on before Sirius exclaims, not at all coping with his subtlety, “Look! Look who it is! It’s Remus, Mom and Dad!”
“Oh it’s so great to see you, Remus.” Mrs. Potter smiles funnily, apparently not reaching her eyes, while Mr. Potter is just staring at him with his narrowing eyes but Remus is determined to change their impression about him.
“Mr. and Mrs. Potter, you look wonderful and it’s great to have you here! Let us take off your coats!” Remus can see the confused looking Potters, as he reaches for Mr Potter’s shoulder, “Woah! Snowing out in the Hollows?” He wants to slap himself for his needy sarcasm because there is a painful silence and Sirius is giving him THE glare.
“No.” Mr. Potter replies, walking away to sit in the living room.
“You are going to be fine, sweetheart.” Sirius slips his arm to tug Remus by his waist, “Just be yourself…but not too much.” He quickly pecks him on the cheek and scurries away to sit with the Potters.
In the meantime, Remus goes over to James who is in a heated discussion with Marlene.
“Hey, Prongs? Your parents like me, don’t they?” Remus asks.
“Pfft! Of course! They like you.” His eyes still on Marlene casting a delicate spell of the dessert Lily has made for the dinner.
“Pads just told me that they don’t?”
“Yeah, they don’t like you.” His eyes were still on the glass tray.
Sirius’ eyes are wandering around even though Mrs. Potter is talking to him with such amusement about her new neighbor.
“Honestly, Sirius, you should meet her! Her son is your age and is so cute—“ but she stops when Mr. Potter clears his throat a little prominently, slightly shaking his head. “Yeah I might stop myself, but you should meet him! He is such a nice kid.”
Remus can see the discomfort etched to Sirius’ face as he won’t stop scrunching his nose, but then he is gesturing him to come and sit among them. Remus does nothing but obey him.
“So, dad, Remus is one of James’ best friends! You remember him right?” Sirius beams up.
“James sure is a great guy!” Remus interjects, thinking hard of something eloquent and of course, charming, “I’ve always felt how a young man turns out as a reflection on his father.”
This pretty seems like a success, because there is nothing sarcastic about it. The tone was okay, the words were just fine, hope the smile is not too wide.
“Uh huh.” However, Mr. Potter doesn’t seem to cooperate with him as he takes a sip from his wine, and Sirius’ facial expressions are now coming out too strongly.
Mrs. Potter comes to sit beside Mr. Potter, and now James is here to with his stupid grin and messy hair.
“Oh, Mum!” Sirius jumps on his chair which almost jerks Remus out from his, “Remus was just saying that he likes your cardigan.”
“Oh, thank you, Remus. I just bought it.” Mrs. Potter is smiling which makes Remus excited.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s very beautiful! It’s crème colored and tight and—“ WHAT!? TIGHT!?
Now everyone is staring at him, and he couldn’t feel more mortified.
“I did not mean tight—I mean not too tight—not that I was looking—I mean why would I look because I’m—“
Sirius elbows him to stop. James doesn’t stop sniggering, and Mr. and Mrs. Potter has a resigned look on their faces.
“What’s the matter with him?” Mr. Potter is now whispering but werewolves can hear still, right?
“I think he’s stoned again.” Mrs. Potter whispers back before Sirius gasps. Oh he heard that, too.
“What?” He is glaring now.
“Dude! I need to talk to you.” James is flushed red as he grabs Remus by his arm, dragging him to the room. Remus is feeling hot and cold, and he has an urge to hit someone in the face. Maybe James.
Once there were in the room, James begins, “Okay…I think I know why my parents don’t like you.”
“You do!? Why?”
“Okay look, we were young,” James chuckles hesitantly but Remus doesn’t join, “Okay, after fourth year, summer holidays happened. I got high in my bedroom. And then my parents walked in and smells it. So I said that you were here who got stoned and jumped out of my window to escape.”
“What!? Why did you do that!?” Remus is almost there in hitting the other’s face.
“I don’t know…you were the first name that popped in my head. I’m sorry!”
“What about Sirius!?”
“I knew that wouldn’t be believable because he comes from Noble house of Black! But look I didn’t think it would matter—“
“How can that not matter!?” Remus is surprised at his voice becoming so high-pitched.
“How was I supposed to know that we’ll become closer after you told us about your furry little problem? And also and most importantly how was I supposed to know that you’ll end up living with Sirius after Hogwarts, who happens now to be my adopted brother!”
“What about that all Friends Forever stuff?”
“I don’t know…I was all high…” James is trying his best to make out puppy eyes, but no, Remus is not going to fall for them
Then the door is slammed shut as an angry looking Sirius is in the room. Remus turns to face him, and he looks very cute. Is this the time? Says a small voice in his brain.
“Mum and Dad sent me here to find out that if you” He points at Remus, “were getting James stoned!?”
Remus tells everything in one breathe, and is little entertained to watch Sirius getting enraged as if someone has lit him up by fire. Before Remus knows it he is lunging at James to rip him out.
“You’re—dead! Son of—“ He is hitting, but more like pinching, squeezing James, who is murmuring ‘sorry’s’ Remus pulls his boyfriend back, as much as he is enjoying the fight, he knows that it’s no use of getting defensive at each other because the problem still lies within.
“Look, that’s not going to help. James, you tell the truth to your parents.”
“Yeah, yeah. Okay I’ll tell them.” James sets his dangling glasses on the bridge of his nose, while Sirius is still glaring daggers at him. He slips out of the room carefully away from Sirius’ thundering rage, leaving him and Remus alone in the room.
“Okay, so I guess it will be alright.” Sirius sighs, looking extremely tempting. Remus holds him by the waist which seeps away the tension from Sirius’ body. He makes a humming sound and buries his face in the taller boy’s chest.
“I’m glad you’re shorter than me.” Remus says in his hair
“Why?” A very grumpy and muffled voice reaches him, immediately making him laugh.
“Because you can relax your whole self in my arms when you are having a tough day.”
There is silence but Sirius has held him a little tighter now, then the muffled voice returns again, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
The dinner goes on, and clearly James is trying his best to avoid the conversation with his parents.
“Why is it so important for Sirius?” Marlene says to Remus while eating the leftover yams from Lily’s plate, “I mean he doesn’t have to care. Just tell Mr. and Mrs. Potter that you guys are dating and living together, going to get married soon, and have kids like a happily after…”
Remus is staring at her how she is not at all interested, while making eyes at Dorcas who has just stopped by to borrow a bowl for her party.
“Is there something in your yams? Or is that just the effect of pining after your roommate?”
“Shut up.” Marlene scoffs, finally meeting his eyes. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“The Potters are Sirius’ only family. Can’t you see they call him ‘son’ and he calls them ‘Mom and Dad.’ He needs their approval too, and I understand that. I would have felt the same if my parents didn’t like Sirius which they don’t the way I want them to, because apparently he is a Black.”
“Yeah, but come on, your parent at least know that you guys are serious about each other. I meant SIRIUS.”
“Ha-Ha. That joke’s a hundred million years older now.”
The dessert is served, and nobody is looking forward to the mishap Lily has done. Trifle! Who doesn’t like a trifle? Except that it is not a complete trifle but also a shepherd’s pie. So it’s a no-no.
“It tastes like feet!” Peter whispers harshly when everyone has left from kitchen to the living room.
“I like it.” Remus snapped his head up from his plate to see Marlene eating it passionately.
“Are you kidding?” He snorts.
“Well, what’s not to like? Custard? Good! Jam? Gooood! Beef? GOOOOOD!!”
Remus can say he is not that surprised because Marlene has two most foremost things in her life which includes food and being a raging lesbian.
Sirius has thrown his dessert from the balcony, and is currently convincing Lily that a pigeon ruined his dessert.
“So the bird grabbed it? And try to fly away with it…and then just dropped in on the street?” She asks, utterly confused.
“But if it’s any consolation before the pigeon dropped it, he seems to enjoy it.” Sirius replies while Remus has to keep a hand on his mouth to secure the laughter bubbling out of him.
James is still sitting with Marlene and Peter, not making any effort to do his job. Sirius glares at him probably the fourteenth time.
“James, let’s go.” He says, as Remus is sitting in the living room, watching the scene.
“Oh yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking maybe writing a letter.” He tries to laugh with Sirius who has a stony face.
“You know what, you had your chance.” He turns away to step towards Mr. and Mrs. Potter sitting on the couch. “Mom, Dad, James smoked weed in fourth year.”
“What!?” They both says in a unison.
“You are such a tattletale!” James hisses, and then sheepishly sits in front of his parents, “Mom, Dad…umm remember in the summer holidays, when you walked in my room and smelled the you-know-what.”
“Yes.” His parents says in unison again, but this time their glares are fixed at Remus.
“Well, I told you it was Remus who smoked it but it was me…I am sorry…”
“It was you?” Mrs. Potter looks hurt. However, Remus can see Sirius still not looking contented with the situation.
“And, Dad, you know that employee who you fired from your hair potion company, he didn’t burst the batch of glass bottles, James did!”
James looks stunned as Mr. Potter is looking at him with a disappointed look.
“The chandelier in the dining hall didn’t break because of the thunderstorm coming from the opened window, Sirius’ spell did!” James retorts.
“James has been suspended from working in the Ministry for eight months!”
The Potters gasps.
“SIRIUS AND REMUS ARE LIVING TOGETHER!” It was Remus’ turn to gasp, but Sirius was raging like a dog who has been hit on its tail.
“JAMES MARRIED MY BROTHER WHILE HE WAS DRUNK, THEN GOT DIVORCED!”
“I’m in love with my roommate!” Marlene yells from her table.
“I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle.” Lily says apologetically.
“I WANNA GOOOO!” Peter shouts, looking bored.
Remus is taking a while to process all of that has happened but eager to see how the Mr. and Mrs. Potter are going to deal with it.
“That’s a lot of information to get in 30 seconds.” Mr. Potter is rubbing his temples.
But then Mrs. Potter stands up, “Peter, if you want to leave just leave.”
“And no, Lily dear, you were not supposed to put beef in the dessert. It did not taste good.”
Lily looks sad, but Marlene is convincing her that she loved it.
“And I’m sorry, Marlene, but I think you should start by confessing your feelings to your roommate.” Mrs. Potter continues. “Sirius, love,” She smiles at him, “Why did you have to hide the fact that your important relationship is beyond me?”
“And we kind of figured about the broken chandelier, son.” Mr. Potter is also smiling now.
“James…” Mrs. Potter turns to her son with an upset look, “Drugs…Divorce?”
“What happened, son?” Mr. Potter asks.
“I got tricked into all those things…” James tries to defend himself but actually trails off.
Remus feels his heart thudding in his chest.
“Remus!” Mrs. Potter exclaims and he abruptly stands up from his chair, “You’ve been James’ best friend all these years, stuck by fighting his drug problem!”
James huffs while Sirius snorts.
“And now you take in up on Sirius as well! I don’t know what to say...” Mrs. Potter chuckles and then says, “You are a wonderful human being!”
Remus almost screams, “Thank you!”
“No, Thank” Mr. Potter gets up and kisses Remus’ cheek, “YOU!”
Remus can feel that he has never smiled so wide.
“James and Sirius, I don’t know what I am going to do about the two of you.”
They both look miserable, and Remus can recall their Hogwarts times when they would receive detentions and Mcgonacall would ask him to make the two of them realize their mistake and never do it again.
“I’ll talk to them.” Remus says, smiling ear to ear, as he is sandwiched in Mr. and Mrs. Potter’s embrace.
#wolfstar#Wolfstar fanfiction#WOLFSTAR FLUFF#wolfstar x friends#thanksgiving#James Potter#magical au#post hogwarts#Lily Evans#dorlene#marlene mckinnon#dorcas meadowes#peter pettigrew#Potters#Sirius is Monica#Remus is chandler#James is Ross
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The Sun and The Moon
(Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x Reader)
Episode I: The Timeline of Romeo & Juliet Part One
Summary: “You were one of the 12 Padawans that Luke Skywalker taught. There, you met the love of your life. Your first best friend, your first lover and your first Boyfriend; Ben Solo. Everything was perfect. That is, until the Jedi Temple was burned by Ben himself. 5 years pass since you last saw him and he isn’t the man you used to know. The Moon preferred darkness and in that darkness, Kylo Ren was born.”
Warnings: some swearing, murder and mental illness. Also, Rey is not in this and I won’t follow the exact plot of the triology.
The Sun and The Moon Masterlist
Ultimate Masterlist
6 Years Old
“My patience wears thin so I will say this one more time,” a man spoke, his face not visible from your point of view. You held your breath and hid beneath the floorings, just like your mother told you to. You saw the feet of two Stormtroopers take a step towards your mother, their guns raising up. “Give us the one who was promised, the one you call Saviour, and we’ll be on our way. Failure to comply will result in death. Your death.”
Your six-year-old heart beated rapidly as you watched on from below. Your hair was an unruly mess and dirt covered your face. You were trying your best not to move, afraid you’d be in front of what you assumed were the ‘bad guys’. “She’s not here, I already told you. The Saviour is but a rumour, a myth. You are wasting your time.”
It was your fault. If only you had kept your ‘powers’, as your mom called them, hidden. She told you, no she demanded, that you mustn’t ever use them. And you did. But it wasn’t your fault.
You see, the village’s bully had thrown your doll on top of the tree. When you thought no one was looking, you managed to use the force to bring it back towards you. You didn’t understand this ‘power’ you had, you were but a small child. But your mother did. And she did everything in her power to keep it hidden.
But the fact is, someone was watching. In particular, it was the old lady who lived across from you. She was from the unfortunate end of the riches scale and had clothes with multiple stitches across the fabrics.
The man chuckles, walking over to your mother. He places a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, your mother flinching as his finger makes contact with her skin. The grip of your hand on the doll tightens in fear. “You scavengers are so gullible. Did you really think your own neighbours wouldn’t rat you out for a couple of credits?”
Your mother’s eyes widened, now shaking her head rapidly. “Please, please, please don’t do this! She’s just a little girl! Don’t you understand that the Dark Side is not the way of life! It’s not too late to change sides, you can still follow the light!”
“The light,” the man started, circling around your mother before the clicks of the guns that the Stormtroopers held rung across the room. “Is a joke. You want to bring balance to the world yet you use weak, primitive methods to reach the objective. And where did that lead to exactly? The exitinction of the Jedi? The rise of the First Order? The light is pathetic and weak.”
He then takes a step back before looking at the Stormtroopers, nodding his head. Multiple shots rang, before a ‘thud’ was heard. And there she was. Your mother. On the floor. The women you raised you, the women who would rip her own clothing just to make you a blanket, was now gone. “Hopefully I get a promotion for bringing in the stupid little girl.”
Tears streamed profusely down your face as your mother’s face fell exactly in the flooring in which you were hiding under. You held the doll against your mouth, desperate not to let out a squeak, desperate not to cry in case you might reach the same fate as your mother. “Search every inch of this place. The child must be here-“
“General! Luke Skywalker has penetrated our defences! I repeat, Luke Skywalker has-“, the transmitter went silent. The General let out a groan, smashing the transmitter against the wall. Pieces of the machinery fell against the wall as the General breathed in and out heavily.
“Let’s get out of here before that mongrel catches up to us!” He yelled at the Stormtroopers, before storming out, stepping on your mother’s back on the way out. Your hands were shaking and when you heard a plane fly away, you let out the first of many sobs.
You got up from your position, running over to the secret door on the floor. You opened it before climbing out and rushing towards your mother’s now cold and soulless body. “Mom?Mom! You have to- you have to get up! P-please mommy! You- you have dinner to make, a-and then we go shopping mommy. You promised mommy, you promised.”
But your mother did not respond, making you cry even more. As a child, you did not know exactly what this meant. You did not know that it was impossible for your mother to open her eyes and look at you one more time. “Mommy please! You can wake up from sleepy time, the bad man is gone now.”
You heard the door slowly creak open, making you jump back in fright. You were shakingly violently, hugging the doll in fright. A foot stepped in, before a man with a grey beard and unruly hair walked in. You then ran in front of your mother, trying to protect her. “Go away! You can’t hurt mommy! I have powers so you- you should be very scared!”
The old man smiled at you, putting his hands up to show you he was not going to hurt you. That he was but a friend and not a foe. He looked at you in sadness as he saw your mother’s dead figure lying on the floor.
“Hello Y/N. My name is Luke Skywalker.”
One Week Later
You sat by yourself at the Jedi Temple, eating a bowl of steamed rice. After a week of travelling in harsh, hot conditions with Luke Skywalker, you finally found yourself able to rest on a rock carved as a seat and a table made out of the erosion of limestone from the sea.
You heard the chatter of some Padawans who were laughing and talking with one another, obviously having known each other for a year or so. You were a late Padawan, but as Luke had said, it did not matter. His own father, Anakin, trained to be Jedi at the age of 9, three years later than yourself.
It was your first day and you had yet to make new friends. It’s not like you wanted to anyway, after what you have been through. You were now very wary when meeting new people, especially people who were three times your age like Luke himself. You’d always analyse your environment, trying to see if any threats surrounded your peripheral vision.
“Can you believe it Almec? That Solo boy killed a bird! How is he still training to be a Jedi?” A boy cried as he walked inside the temple with his friends, holding a bowl of rice. “He should be expelled! He has no care for life or the ways of the Jedi!”
“Luke is obviously deseperate for more Jedi’s if he’s allowing a murder like him to train with us,” another boy spoke, who you assumed was Almec. He had daring green eyes and devilish brown hair. He looked at you as he walked by, making you quickly look down at your food in embarrassment, red prominent on your cheeks. Him and his friends then took a seat a table away from you. “He’s only getting special treatment because he has Skywalker’s blood in him.”
Deciding you were done with your food, you got up and walked inside the kitchen, placing your bowl near the sink. After you were done washing up your bowl, you walked back inside the eating area and headed towards the exit. As you were walking out, you made eye contact with Almec. This time he gave you a small smile in which you returned before hurriedly out of the Temple and into the environment.
You breathed in the fresh air as you slowed your pace, desperate to take in the serene environment around you. The Jedi temple was located in an empty piece of land with endless vast of grass. There were also trees that grew amongst the edge of the island and some in the centre and around the temple.
There were also huts the surrounded the temples and were scattered around the island. There was 8 to be exact. All Padawans were paired with another of the same sex in each hut. Luke had his own hut and because you had just came yesterday, you got your own hut all to yourself.
‘I can’t save it,’ you heard a voice in your head speak. You stopped in your tracks, confusion filling your mind. It wasn’t just confusion, it was fear. But it wasn’t your own. You then looked into the forest and felt it calling you, felt it calling your name. So you started walking towards the forest.
‘I can’t save it,’ you heard the same voice speak. You then realised this wasn’t someone talking, but it was someone’s thoughts. Specifically, a boy’s thoughts. You wandered into the forest, hearing the ocean far away hitting the rocks. You kept walking, looking around to find something, someone.
‘I can’t save it.’
‘Save what,’ you kept thinking, as you moved the branches of trees away from your face in order to progress further. You then stopped, seeing a mop of black hair. His back was towards you, holding something in his hand.
You felt an instant connection towards him. You felt like you had to protect him and that you could trust him with your life. It was weird, because someone had just murdered your mother yet here you are, willing to trust a stranger.
It seemed like he had felt it too as he quickly turned around, his eyes now on you. Your eyes widened in shocked, now scared that he caught you looking at him. But that was quickly forgotten when you saw a dead bird in his hands, it’s wings chopped off. You let out a scream, moving backwards. Your legs however tripped over a branch on the floor you did not see, making you fall in the ground.
You were about to run away before you heard his voice, in particular, the voice you heard in your head just minutes ago. “Wait please! Please! It- it isn’t what it looks like!”
You then looked at him, your breathing still erratic. You were scared but somehow you felt like you should stay, like you should listen to what he had to say. He then gulped, taking a step forward. This had made you crawl backwards, trying to keep distance. The boy had seen this and felt a rush of pain within his heart. He did not what you to be scared of him like the others. He did not know you, but you were new. He had a chance to finally form a friendship and he messed it up.
“My- my name is Ben. I found the bird dead, it’s wings chopped off. I- I think it was an animal that did this,” he explained, looking at you directly in the eyes. He then took a step forward and this time you did not move back. “I’m trying to- I’m trying to save it. I heard about this power where a Jedi could heal things and I thought I could do it too. Apparently I can’t do that, I can’t do anything right and now you are probably scared of me like everyone else-“
You watched as the 8 year old boy rambled on and on, seeing the look of rejection and desperation in his eyes. It seemed that Ben was used to it now, the rejection. But still, that didn’t stop the pain and feeling of unworthiness that tagged along with it. You got up from the ground, with Ben still rambling about how he was trying to save the bird.
And you believed him. So to save him and you from the misery of his rambling, you decided to cut him off.
“I’m Y/N.”
13 Years Old
You breathed heavily as you dodged the incoming lightsaber that swung above your head. You then brought your lightsaber close to you, attacking your opponent. Your lightsabers both hit each other at the same time, letting out a loud mechanical hum.
“Careful, you’re going to break my ‘saber,” Ben joked, dodging your attacks. Luke and the other Padawan’s watched on as the both of you battled each other. It almost looked poetic how you both fought, it looked indentical. Both of you had the same fighting stance, offensive and defensive moves. You both matched each others steps like dancing partners.
“It’s ugly anyway,” you replied before taking steps back. You then ran towards him, Ben readying up to defend himself. As you came close to him you slid down, using the back of the lightsaber to hit the back of his knee. This threw Ben out of balance, causing him to fall and within a secound you stepped on his chest, the lightsaber now in close proximity to his neck. “I win.”
The Padawans all clapped expect Almec and his friends who watched. Almec felt a rush of jealously fill his body. For 7 years, Almec has been trying to speak to you, trying to be your friend. The 15 year old boy would be lying if he said he did not feel an attraction towards you. You were gorgeous, had a blinding smile and a beautiful sense of justice and leadership. But somehow, you only looked at Ben, not him. Ben was your closest and only friend and because of this, Almec resented the raven-haired Padawan.
He always found himself competing with Ben, trying to one-up him all the time. Trying to impress you. But you only had eyes for the Solo boy. Everyone in the Jedi Temple can smell the testosterone battle between Ben and Almec whenever they were up against each other during training, exams and learning of the force. But Ben had always been the best student, only secound to yourself.
Luke Skywalker got up from his feet, making you and Ben take a knee out of respect. You were both panting from the sparring match you had both just partook in with each other. “Master, we hope you are proud with our progression.”
“You are both holding back on your hits,” Luke had spoke, causing all the Padawans to stop clapping and go quiet. “It is obvious you both cannot un-bound yourself from wordly attachments due to the clinging need of emotional attention and devotion from each other. You both are therefore banned from sparring with each other.”
“But Master Luke-“ you protested, getting up from your position. Ben stayed in his position, an angry look on his face like it was to be expected from the Skywalker man.
“I don’t want to hear it!” Luke had spoken, getting up from his position. You looked down, your cheeks reddening in embarrassment for being told off in front of everyone. “It is final. Ben you will now spar with Almec and Y/N you will now spar with Lierra. This will persist until the remainder of your Jedi training.”
Luke looked at you both one last time before turning around and walking out the door. All the Padawans got up and begun leaving the room. Almec in particular had a little smirk on his face as he left the room. You looked at Ben who was staring and the floor in anger and fury. You shook your head, chasing after your master who had left the room.
“Master Luke!” You called out as you saw his retreating figure down the hall. Luke let out a sigh, stopping in his tracks before turning around to face you. He then lifted his eyebrows up, waiting to listen to what you have to say. “I think- I think Ben Solo has been a great sparring partner. I really feel like I’ve progressed with him and I’ve learned a lot-“
“I’m doing this for your own safety,” Luke cut you off, your face now slowly filling with confusion. Luke let out a second sigh, shaking his head. “Y/N, I consider you as one of my own and I give you this one advice. Stay away from him. I know he’s my nephew, but he’s erratic and there’s anger in him. I’m trying- I’m trying to do my best to bring out the light in him, but I don’t want you to be involved in the process. It’s too dangerous. Try being friends with Almec. He’s a good boy.”
You clenched your jaw, your body filling with anger. “His mother and father dispose him in this Temple and his own Uncle talks ill of him. How ridiculous. You should all be ashamed of yourself, depriving a boy of love and support. I will stay friends with him and I’ll always be there when he needs me to be. Thanks for your advice Master Luke, but no thanks.”
You then bowed quickly, before running back towards the sparring room, desperate to see Ben. When you walked back inside the room, you found Ben still in a kneeling position. You rushed towards him before bending down to his level. “Ben, are you okay?”
“He is such a selfish old man!” Ben spoke, finally getting up from his position. He then started pacing around the room, his fingers running through his hair. You stood up, watching him. “He saw how powerful we were together, how well we fought together! And he separated us!”
“Ben, maybe he was right. We were holding back on each other and we won’t progress if we keep holding back-“
“Even when we’re holding back Y/N we are stronger than all the other Padawans! Fuck, we are stronger than all the past Jedi’s combined! You realise what we can achieve together Y/N? We can start the trials now! We can be the youngest Jedi’s to ever exist! We can singlehandedly take over the Galaxy if we wanted to and that frightens him!” He yelled before punching the wall and creating a dent. He then felt a hand on his shoulder, your hand on his shoulder.
“Ben, you must not think like that. We must obey Master Luke and listen to his words of wisdom even though we might not agree with it. Anger leads to the dark side,” you spoke gently, your thumb rubbing circles on his shoulder. Ben closed his eyes, focusing on your touch. He felt himself slowly calming down. That’s what you always did, you helped him calm down, you brought the light back into him whenever anger had consumed him.
He always thought that he was the moon and you were the sun. Without you, he’d be lost in the void of darkness. Without you, he would not be able to see the light.
“I’m- I’m sorry,” his voice cracked as his shoulder slumped down. You nodded at him, giving him a hug. He closed his eyes, breathing in your addictive and heavenly scent. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey, it’s okay.”
•
You sat on top of the temple as you and Ben tried to forget what had happened earlier. You both usually did this when everyone else was sleeping; sneak out and look at the stars, the planets. It was a nice getaway from all the Jedi nonsense and responsibilities that tag along with the title.
“Can I tell you something Y/N?” Ben spoke, lifting up his head and placing it on his hand to face you. You turned around with a smile, also facing him.
“You can tell me anything,” you spoke. Ben watched as the moon reflected against your eyes, giving you an ethereal look. His face turned red as the intensity of your eyes, your beauty, was too much from him. You gave him this weird feeling inside of him and he felt a strong connection, a link, with you.
“Are you- are you scared of me?” He asked, his voice small as he was scared of your reply. You looked at him in shock, shaking your head at him.
“No, why would you ask that?”
“I heard Master Luke speak to you, telling you to watch out,” He replied back, looking at his hands in vulnerability. “I try, you know. I try to be the best I can be. But when your own mother is scared of you, when your own Uncle warns people of you, it’s just-“
“Disheartening?” You finished for him. He clenched his jaw, trying to hold back his emotion as he silently nodded. You then grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze. “I think that everyone was wrong to do that. Your mother, your father and your uncle are so wrong about you Ben. You’re an amazing guy. You’re sweet, compassionate, a leader and a hero. You shouldn’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.”
‘You are amazing,’ he also heard you say, but your mouth didn’t move. He was confused, thinking his mind was playing tricks on him. But then he realised it was your thoughts. It was a Jedi Power, to be able to read minds. However, you were the first person he could ever read the mind of, which threw him off.
“Thank you,” Ben replied back after a while, shaking his thoughts of reading your mind out of his head. However he did it, he didn’t want to do it again. He felt like he was invading your privacy. “You are the only person who’s ever been there for me, who’s ever cared. And I owe you an eternal debt that I know could never be repaid-“
You interrupted him, smashing your lips against him. This took Ben by surprise, now too frozen to reply respond to your kiss. He couldn’t think properly, let alone move. He couldn’t stop thinking about your soft, wet lips against his, grazing his ever so delicately. He felt all the nerves within him fire, this being his first ever kiss, now imprinted forever in the back of his mind.
But right as soon as he was going to kiss back, right when his thoughts finally made sense, you had pulled back. He felt the coldness from the absence of your lips. He was so close, just a secound longer and he would’ve replied back to your kiss. But he was too late.
“I’m- I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to-“ you begun before letting out a groan as your whole face went red. You did not know what had gotten over you. He was just rambling, looking dashing as ever and you had an instinct, an impulse. “Oh god, this is so embarrassing! I mean, I can’t believe I just kissed you!”
You didn’t mean anything by that last statement, but Ben felt a deep pang inside his chest. The anxiety and depression had further grown tenfolds within him and he felt like the most unwanted living thing in the world. Ben retracted back, finding it hard to breathe.
Was kissing him really that bad, he had thought. Were you really repulsed and turned off from him that kissing him that it was unbelievable and disgusting?
“Can we- can we just forget this happened please?” You asked him, removing your hands to look at him. Ben couldn’t speak so he just nodded at you, gulping. You nodded back before getting up in a hurry. “Well, I’m pretty tired so I’ll just head to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast?”
Ben nodded for the second time today as he watched you quickly scurry off. He then lifted his hand up, his fingers grazing against his lips. He could still feel your lips against him, like a ghost. Him not being able to kiss you back will forever play as nightmares in his sleep. It was his one and only chance to kiss you and now he will never taste your lips ever again.
When you were finally out a sight, Ben clenched his jaw, smashing his fist against the roof beneath him. He then looked up at the sky, feeling isolated and outcasted.
‘Did you really think you might actually have a chance with her?’ He had heard a voice call out, this time a male. He quickly got up, now alert. He pulled out a lightsaber, now in attack mode as he kept spinning around to try to find the source of the voice.
“Who are you!” Ben had called out, feeling fear at the sound of the voice. He then gulped, seeing that there was no one in sight. Wind blew against leaves on the trees, making a rustling sound. There was an owl hooting meters away from him.
‘You will soon find out, my young protégée.’
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The Plus One Pact | William Nylander | Part 6
Summary: Your ex is getting married, and you don’t have a date, which means the unavoidable “why don’t you have a boyfriend” question is about to haunt you for the rest of eternity. But then there’s Will, who could be the answer to all your problems. A simple business pact, no feelings involved: that won’t be hard for you, because you really don’t like him anyways. Except pacts were made to be broken… or something. Right?
Note: This is part 6, the final part! Click here for part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5
--
When you scoot into an empty seat in the back of the church, you suddenly feel very thankful that your sister invited Ellie because if you were alone, right now, you might just leave and go home.
“I’m gonna throw up,” you mutter under your breath.
Ellie hears you, and laughs. “Better not, I left the tag on this dress and I fully intend to return it after today.”
Then the crowd goes quiet and Noah appears.
He’s wearing a suit, and he looks objectively handsome, but it does nothing for you. It’s good to realize that, you think, as you watch him walk down the aisle.
The guy you thought you’d marry is getting married. And you really don’t care.
You think of Will, instead.
Betty appears too and she looks beautiful and really happy. Maybe they really were meant for each other; he still shouldn’t have cheated, of course, but if there’s one thing Noah had been right about it’s that it would’ve never worked out between the two of you.
You barely hear the vows they exchange; you’re there for show and you won’t pretend otherwise. Ellie is fucking around on Instagram on her phone and you look over her shoulder as she starts liking posts.
“Speak now or forever hold your silence,” a voice sounds loudly through the church, and you zone back in for a second.
Your mom is looking at you and you catch her eye. You don’t say anything, and she looks like she approves. Perhaps she believes that Noah belongs with someone like Betty, too.
You find yourself not really caring about that, either.
The priest speaks again: “If nobody has any objection to this marriage, I would now like to declare...”
A door slams.
Everyone turns to look at the person that just came in, and when you see him, your breath sticks in your throat.
It’s Will.
He looks around with his eyes squinted. He’s wearing a suit, but his hair is a mess, like he’s been raking his hands through it, and his tie isn’t tied properly.
He still looks like the most beautiful guy you’ve ever seen.
“Sir?” the priest asks, a little confused. “Do you wish to object to this marriage?”
“Oh.” Willy’s eyes widen. “Oh, God, no. No, no objection here. Totally go for it!”
A somewhat hysterical giggle escapes your lips and Will’s eyes find yours, a careful smile appearing on his face when he does.
“Sorry,” he says out loud to the crowd, then bows down and hurries towards you, sinking down on the empty chair at your side. “Sorry,” he repeats, now in a whisper.
You have no idea what to say. There’s so much you want to say to him: I’m so sorry, I was wrong the first thing that comes up, the second being please don’t give up on this, I think I love you.
It hits you with how true it is. You don’t just like him anymore, you love him, everything about him, and being around him feels more natural than anything else, it feels right.
You don’t say anything, though, because the ceremony continues on. Will stays silent, too, stares straight ahead with a sullen look on his face.
But he came. That must mean something, right?
This, however, is not the time or the place to talk about it and after the ceremony you trail your family to the reception, both Ellie and Willy hot on your heels. The two of them are keeping up a steady amount of chitchat and you would worry about that, about how well they seem to fit together, except…
Well, some part of Willy must care about you, because he wouldn’t be here, otherwise.
“So,” your mom says, when you’ve entered the reception hall. “Who is this, then?”
You’ve not even got yourself a drink.
“This is Will,” you say. Willy shifts, his arm bumping against yours. “My, uhm…”
You really haven’t thought this through. The deal was that he’d pretend to be your boyfriend, but after everything...
“Her boyfriend.” Willy’s smile is nearly blinding. “Nice to meet you.”
“Boyfriend?” your mom repeats, sounding incredulous.
“Yep.” Will’s arm hooks around your waist and he pulls, so you stumble into his side. “We’ve been together a while, so.”
You haven’t, oh God, what is he doing? You know this was the plan, but surely after everything, the pact isn’t the pact anymore, you broke all the rules by falling in love with him.
And...
You wish, more than anything, that he wasn’t pretending.
“Oh, they’re adorable together,” Ellie pipes up. She’s obviously totally lying, but you could kiss her for it, because your mom’s eyes widen. “Always at each other’s sides. He’s so good to her, you know? Head over heels, really.”
Will smiles in the most bashful way, then swivels his head and presses his lips to your cheek.
You’re pretty sure your face is bright red, at this point.
“Want a drink, babe?” he mumbles.
This is torture.
“Uhm, yeah, sure.” You watch as Will disappears into the crowd.
“You didn’t tell us you had a boyfriend,” your dad speaks. Your sister is still staring at Willy, her mouth slightly agape.
“He’s hot,” she says, and she sounds shocked, which makes you wonder if you want to punch her or want to laugh.
You don’t do either. After all, she did invite Ellie here, so some part of her must care for you.
“So hot,” Ellie nods. “When I didn’t know they were together I tried to flirt with him, but he had no eyes for me. Only wanted Y/N.” She smiles, and you think of her earlier words and can’t help but wonder if there’s some truth to that.
Fuck. You have to find Will.
“I’m going to go find Will,” you say, and before you can hear what your parents have to say about that, you turn around and leave, as fast as your high heels can carry you.
Your eyes search the crowd for a familiar head of blond hair, but when you see it, everything in you goes cold and rigid.
Oh no.
Next to Willy is Noah. Everything about Noah is relaxed, and everything about Will is tense; his muscles strung tight like a fiddle, his jaw clenched.
Oh, no. No no no.
You push through some people to get to them, but you can hear Noah’s voice before either of them have noticed you.
“I can’t believe William Nylander is at my wedding,” Noah laughs. “Dude, when you came in I nearly had a heart attack.”
As if it couldn’t get any worse. Will doesn’t like being recognized in general, and now this.
Then, Willy spots you.
“Y/N,” he says, and some of the tension leaves his shoulders. Noah turns around with wide eyes.
“You know her?” He sounds even more shocked than your sister and this time, it pisses you off.
Well, Willy did show he was ready to perform the act, so.
“Hi, baby,” you coo, wrapping your arms around Willy’s waist and pressing yourself against his chest. His arms immediately come around you and you feel the slight press of his lips in your hair.
It’s an act, but God, you wish it wasn’t.
“Sorry your drink is taking a bit longer, sweetheart,” he says, a little too loud. “Something held me up.”
Noah has the decency to look sheepish. Willy looks a little murderous.
“You’re dating William Nylander?” Noah asks.
No, scrap that: Willy looks a lot murderous.
So, even though you might be enjoying this a little, you’ve gotta make sure nobody gets killed at this wedding. As a warning, you press your thumb in Willy’s side. The scowl disappears from his face, although he’s clearly still unhappy.
“Noah, congratulations to you and Betty,” you smile. It’s fake, but you don’t think Noah notices – or cares. “I’m going to dance with my boyfriend, now.”
You pull Will away before he can say anything, and he lets you guide him towards the dance floor.
“I hate that guy,” he growls. His arm is still around you.
“Try to be more obvious about it,” you quip, and it feels natural until it doesn’t, anymore.
Because now you actually have to dance, and you don’t think you still have the right to do that. Everything that happened between you fills the air with something heavy, so you stand still and awkwardly look at him.
“I won’t bite.” Will rolls his eyes and guides you into the correct position. He’s a good dancer, which is surprising because at Zach’s wedding, he definitely wasn’t.
At Zach’s wedding, Willy and Kappy had been diving into the wine coolers all day, though, so maybe it’s not that surprising.
His hands are heavy on your waist and he’s guided your arms to wrap around his neck. He smells like Willy and you realize that this might be the last time you get to touch him like this, maybe even the last time he’ll talk to you, so despite everything you let your head dip and rest your chin in the crook of his neck.
You feel, more than hear, him inhale deeply.
“You came.” The words are whispered into his suit but he hears you, anyway.
“We had a deal, and I don’t go back on a promise,” he says. It’s not what you want to hear, but he still came, and that still matters, so.
After a pause, he adds: “Besides, I wouldn’t let you deal with that jerk alone.”
That’s... something else, and a flicker of hope lights in your chest like a candle in the wind, dull and small, but there.
“Will,” you whisper, this time knowing that he’ll hear. “I love you.”
It’s not the right way to do it, probably, too much and too soon and too sudden, and when Willy inhales again it’s sharp and short.
“And I’m sorry…”
“Not here,” he cuts you off. It could come off as harsh, but it doesn’t, because he pulls you a bit closer and lets his head rest on yours.
Somewhere, people cheer for the married couple, but neither of you really notice.
--
“Come on.”
Willy’s hand is warm and rough tangled in yours, as he pulls you towards his car. You drove here with your family but you have to admit you’d much rather drive home with Will, even if it might be the most awkward car ride of your life.
It was easier to pretend everything was fine when you were in a room full of people laughing and smiling. Now, the night is quiet and dark and the wind is cold, and everything that hasn’t been talked about lays thick in the air.
You told him you loved him. Why the hell did you do that?? You’re lucky he didn’t punch you in the face. He’s too nice to do that, even if you might deserve it.
Neither of you speak, in the car. You because you already said too much, and Will seems to be thinking, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel.
It feels like the drive lasts forever. Finally, the car stops in front of an apartment.
But it’s not your apartment.
“Where…” you start, but Will doesn’t let you finish.
“At my place,” he says. “Wanna come up?” There’s a clear hint of vulnerability in the question and you’ve never been out of a car so fast.
You’ve never been at his apartment before, because he was always the one that came to pick you up, and when you follow him into the elevator you notice that he lives on the 8th floor.
It makes you smile despite everything. Hockey players and their superstitions.
The inside of his apartment is somehow exactly like you expected it to be. It’s pretty in a very clear interior-designer sorta way, but there’s little pieces of him scattered all around; pictures of his family everywhere, pictures of the team, hockey pucks with dates on them, a million sneakers lined up against the wall.
He flicks on some of the lights and motions towards the couch, where you take a seat.
In front of you, the city of Toronto glistens a million lights.
It could be really romantic, but, Willy is standing in the middle of the living room, his arms crossed and his face a carefully constructed form of indifferent. So it’s not.
“I, uhm,” he starts. Pauses. Sighs. Then: “Did you mean it?”
“Did I mean what?” you ask, softly. Because there’s a lot of things you’ve meant and a lot of things you didn’t, and it’s really important that Willy knows about every single one.
“That you, uh.” Willy is flushed a bright shade of scarlet. “That you love me, I guess.”
That one is easy to answer.
“Yes.”
Something shifts in Willy’s demeanor. His arms drop and with it, so does the shield around his heart; you can see it shatter and it causes something to shatter within you, too.
“I didn’t mean those other things I said, though,” you say. “The things I said right after Noah left. I guess his words threw me off guard and I just thought…” You try to smile, but you don’t think it reaches your eyes. “I just couldn’t believe I would get to have my happily ever after, I suppose.”
“I just don’t know what I could do differently,” Willy says. He sounds desperate, like the words have been swirling around in his brain for far too long, bursting to come out. “To make you believe that. Because I’ve tried, Y/N, I keep trying to…”
“I know.” Something is burning behind your eyes, but you’re not gonna cry now. “Will, I know, and I’m sorry for not trying harder to believe you, earlier.”
You stand up, carefully walk towards him. His hands are hanging limply by his side but you see his fingers twitch when you reach him. It gives you the courage to gather his hands into yours.
“I’m trying, now, though,” you say softly. “This is me trying. And I think I can believe it, if you just tell me one more time.”
The corners of Will’s mouth are curling up into a smile, hesitant and tentative but there, and your heart goes pitter patter.
“Y/N,” he mumbles, lacing his fingers through yours. “I’ve liked you since you rolled your eyes at me at Zach’s birthday party two years ago and I fell in love with you when you nearly destroyed my cousin’s gender reveal party. I want to be your automatic plus one to any event in the future, even if it somehow always ends up a disaster.”
You laugh. “Today was pretty okay, though, right?”
“Yeah.” Willy’s breath is warm against your cheek, and you feel the slightest press of his lips against the skin there. “Would be better if I got to kiss you now, though.”
Instead of answering, you press up on your toes and kiss him.
--
Three years later, you press up on your toes and kiss him in a grand mansion while all your friends and family surround you, wearing a white dress and a ring on your left hand.
You feel Willy smile against your lips.
“Thank you for inviting me to be your plus one today,” he mumbles.
“You’re getting better at it every time,” you smile. “No disasters today.”
“Day’s not over yet.” Willy grins and spins you around. You let yourself fall back into his arms and he catches you, like he’s been doing for years, and will do for years and years to come, too.
“So,” he continues, “now that we’ve made a new pact, is the Plus One Pact really over, then?”
“A new pact?” you repeat, a little confused.
Will’s eyes twinkle with mischief. “Yes, mrs. Nylander. You just promised you’d take part in the Love Me Forever Pact.”
You can’t help but hide your laughter in his shoulder.
“I do love you, Will.”
“Forever?”
“Forever.”
#william nylander#william nylander fic#toronto maple leafs#nhl fic#here ya go folks some serotonin for you!!
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Rumor Has It... [Zuko x Wife!Reader]
Anonymous Requested:
Girl I just got done reading the comics and Zuko with Kiyi IS THE CUTEST THING EVER!!! Can you pleaseee do a one shot where it’s Zuko x reader with their child??💕💕💕💕
Rating: PG Warnings: Fluff! Words: 1281 Pairing: Zuko x Fam!Reader / Pregnant!Reader A/N: I got a little carried away Anon, hope you like it! (And yes- Zuko and Kiyi are hella cute)
This all started with an ill rumor.
Fire Lord Zuko was sitting on his throne. Advisors came in and out of the room with proposals and hearings that he had to hear and after a long day he was mentally exhausted from running his country.
Behind him on either side of the throne stood his Kyoshi Warrior bodyguards, Suki and Ty Lee. They too had a headache from listening to the same rambling of everything that was wrong with the Fire Nation in the post-war reconstruction period.
A merchant that had requested an audience with the Fire Lord was inquiring for a business license in order to sell cabbages in the Fire Nation. It was such dull jargon, so much that Ty Lee couldn’t resist striking a conversation with Suki.
“Hey,” She whispered. Suki turned her eyes in her direction standing perfectly still remaining on guard, eyes fixed on the cabbage merchant. “Don’t you think (y/n) has been acting a little strange?” She spoke in a hushed tone unaware that Zuko’s ears perked at the mention of his Fire Lady. No longer listening to the cabbage merchant he listened to Ty Lee’s words attentively. Suki simply arched an eyebrow. “Yeah, I mean she’s been eating these really weird foods. The other day she had me try a mango with honey and hot sauce, it was disgusting. You know you’d think she’s pregnant or something.”
Suki’s eyes went wide and she turned to face her friend giving her a silencing look.
“(Y/N) is pregnant?!” Zuko coughed out loudly making all eyes in the room turn to his wide-eyed expression.
Everybody was dismissed from the throne room. The cabbage merchant was granted the permit that he needed and happily left.
“No,” Ty Lee rolled her eyes innocently at her friend. “That is not what I said. All I said is that she’s acting like she could be. I mean her aura is pinker than usual-“ She was interrupted by Suki who told her to shut up elbowing her roughly now standing beside her.
“You can’t just say things like that Ty Lee!” She reprimanded. “This is how rumors get started. Right Zuko?” She paused waiting for the Fire Lord’s answer. “… Right?”
Both turned to see Zuko who had gone completely mute. There was a growing smile on his lips and a dazed expression on his glinting golden eyes.
“Oh no…” Suki muttered looking at the daydream expression on his face. “Oh, no, no, no, no….” She repeated approaching him.
“Zuko,” Suki began touching his shoulder hoping her touch would make him snap out of his daze. “Nobody is pregnant. It’s just talk.” She glared at Ty Lee who smiled sheepishly. Suki’s words went in through one ear and out from the other. It was too late; the hopeful idea had already been planted on his head…
Xxx Zuko watched his wife intently as she ate next to him. She seemed to be eating her meal just fine. He didn’t think he could see auras or whatever the hell it was that Ty Lee was talking about. “Want to try my new sauce?” She suddenly said. “It goes great with- well everything.” (Y/N) said leaning in close and putting a bottle of a strange looking sauce with a pungent smell before him. It smelled awful. He was definitely not trying that.
He couldn’t help but smile lovingly at her. He couldn’t think of a good reason why she would keep such good news from him but decided to respect her silence. “What?” She asked a little confused and self-conscious at the endearing look he was giving her. “Nothing,” His smiled widened a little more as he reached for her hand on the dining table entangling his fingers with hers.
Xxx
Over the next couple of days Zuko had been acting odd, like really, really, odd.
(Y/n) couldn’t put her finger on what it was.
He was constantly hovering over her whenever she attempted to manage the simplest of tasks and had ordered servants to do whatever and everything for her. He had also been extra attentive and protective over her, holding her close whenever he could, especially at night and even offering generous foot massages whenever she did her late-night reading.
She found it odd but wasn’t one to complain. That was until one night.
(Y/n) calmly sat on their bedroom’s maroon living room. She was presently enjoying an evening’s glass of wine while reading a book. She was so engrossed in her novel that she didn’t even hear her husband walk into their bedroom.
Zuko stopped in his tracks when he saw his wife consuming her alcoholic beverage and immediately freaked out rushing to her side.
“What are you doing?!” He exclaimed as he jogged to her side almost tripping over the carpet. Nervously, he reached for the chalice of wine and took it from her hands and away placing it on a coffee table nearby. She raised an eyebrow confused at his actions. “Reading?” She guessed. “Enjoying a glass of wine?”
“You-You shouldn’t be drinking that. It’s not good for the baby.” He said cautiously sitting on the carpeted floor next to the sofa; his hands reaching for hers.
She blinked twice and shook her head lightly. Had she heard him correctly?
“What baby?” She drawled out slowly still perplexed at his behavior. He focused his warm eyes on her face, stroking the back of her hand gently. He looked at her just as confused. “Our baby.” He smiled at her so endearingly she could’ve just melted on the spot.
She gave him a dumbfounded look. Looking at his face seeking for any hint or clue of what he was talking about. And then it hit her. That’s why he had been acting so weird… She sat up slightly brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
She looked down at her body, sure maybe she had put on a little weight, but this?
“But- I’m not pregnant...” It sounded almost like a question.
Zuko’s expression faltered, his eyebrows knotting, eyes dropping in disappointment. He should’ve known better. He knew that it was only a rumor, but a part of him… A part of him wanted it to be true. To be real… “Hey, what’s wrong?” She asked turning to him and taking his face in her hands. Raising it so he’d look at her. “Nothing,” he answered quietly still not meeting her eyes. “I just… I thought…”
She was patient waiting for him to explain himself.
“I thought we were about to start our family.” He sighed standing up
“I didn’t know you were ready to start a family,” she said also rising to her feet.
She didn’t know that he was ready for this step in their lives, starting a family. Phew, it was a big deal. She also didn’t know that he wanted this so badly. The blow of the news still reflected on his face.
“Hey,” She said wrapping her arms around his neck. “It’s never too late to start,” the slightest of smirks curled the edge of her lips.
His eyes went a little wide at the meaning of this. Broad smile once again blooming on his face. He hugged her back his lips catching hers.
xxx
Some months later Suki and Ty Lee received news that the Fire Nation was expecting their Crown Prince or Princess to arrive anytime now.
“Well,” Suki shrugged at the news. “Guess the rumors were true!”
Xxxxx 6 Years Later xxxxx A small girl ran the long corridors of the Fire Nation’s Royal palace. An excited look on her face as she ran towards the palace’s entrance as fast as her legs could take her. An excited look on her eyes, broad smile on her face.
Sometime later she spotted the objective of her trek.
Fire Lord Zuko had just returned from a business trip with the Avatar to the United Republic of Nations. He was exhausted from his journey across the ocean and back. The only thing he wanted to do was enjoy a cup of tea and sink into his bed with his wife.
“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” He heard loud shouts echoing the corridors’ red walls.
He pushed the exhaustion to the back of his mind when he saw his daughter running towards him looking more excited than ever. “You’re back!” She cried out giddy with excitement before tackling his legs in an embrace.
“There’s my Princess!” he grinned broadly at the embrace and lifted the young girl holding her up in his arms. “Daddy, I missed you!” She said wrapping her arms around his neck hugging him tightly and to think he had only been gone for ten days. “I missed you too,” he smiled back at her and planted a kiss on top of her head. He gave a look to the guards that were escorting him, and they left on command. “Now, where did you come from? Where is your mother?” He asked gently pushing several strands of messy hair out of his child’s forehead.
The young girl ignored his questions.
“Dad! I want you to meet my new doll,” she said pointing in the direction of her bedroom. “I’d love to meet her, but we have to find your mom first. I haven’t seen her in some time and want to say hi to her too.” He explained sighing at the end. “She’s fun!” (D/Name) spoke referring to her doll. “I named her Kiyi!” “But that’s Aunt Kiyi’s name,” Zuko looked at her in surprise at the odd choice in name. “I know, but it’s a good name!” She insisted. “That, she’d agree too.” He nodded briefly thinking of his younger sister.
As he walked with his daughter in his arms he passed by the palace’s central garden. The one in which he had spent many pleasant afternoons with his mother feeding the pond’s turtle ducks. He stopped in his tracks and looked at the tree next to the pond and then at his princess. “You know what… Mom can come find us.” xxx “One time I threw a bread at a turtleduck and its mom came and bit me,” Zuko explained as he tossed a piece of bread to the turtleduck family on the pond. Both him and the princess had been sitting there for some time now enjoying the cool shade under the garden’s tree, sharing the intimate family moment. She couldn’t help but laugh at her dad’s anecdote. “Like this?” She said taking the large loaf of bread and aggressively tossing it at a little turtleduck making the poor thing go underwater. The mother quacked angrily and approached them. “No! Not like that!” He saw the mother duck approach and lean forward to bite his child and instead stuck his hand. He winced slightly at the discomfort and shook off the animal’s beak. He would never allow anybody to touch or harm his princess. “No! Dad!” She cried out concerned reaching for him. “Are you okay? Why did it do that?”
“Because you hurt her turtleduckling. That’s what parents do. We defend our turtleducklings.”
“Oh,” she deflated slightly. “I’m sorry dad. It’s my fault you got hurt,” she apologized lowering her head. “Just be more gentle next time,” he said laying a comforting hand on her shoulder. “If not, you’ll have to face the mother turtleduck’s wrath!” He cried out before abruptly sinking his fingers into her sides tickling her.
(Y/n) watched the warm scene as she stepped into the garden. She wanted to approach the two people she loved most in this world but didn’t want to interrupt the endearing scene she was witnessing.
She’d never get enough of those two. It wasn’t enough to start the day with them. To struggle trying to get their daughter to eat her vegetables only for Zuko to sneak some dessert to the princess without (Y/n) noticing, although she did, she just pretended not too. Even finishing the day with (D/n) sneaking into bed with her parents after they’ve put her to sleep.
“Mom!” (D/n) suddenly cried out snapping her out of her train of thoughts.
“There you are,” (Y/n) said approaching the two of them. She saw her husband bending over still holding his daughter’s sides in a tickling embrace.
“She’s been asking about you all week. You spoil her too much,” she shook her head with a slight smile and joined her little family kissing her husband’s cheek. “Welcome back, the three of us missed you.” She said sitting next to him running a hand through her daughter’s hair.
“Three of us?” He looked at her confused. She simply smiled, the cheeky grin on her face growing even wider. It was then that it hit him. He couldn’t help himself, overjoyed he brought his wife in for a loving embrace. “I’m so happy!” He spoke against her hair thrilled at the thought of a new person joining their growing family.
The best part of it all was that this time it wasn’t a rumor.
xxx
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#prince zuko#zukoxreader#zuko#avatar#avatar the last airbender#avatar fanfic#avatar fanfiction#atla#atla fanfic#pregnant!reader#fam!reader#wife!reader
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Chapter 7: Dr. Buford
Chapter 6:
Coming out after a hot bath, Bess meandered around the hotel room and watched the rain drizzle down. The reporter mentioned it would rain every day for the rest of the week. Bummer, how are we going to enjoy New Orleans now? Deep down Bess new that the idea of vacationing was gone now that Nancy found herself a mystery. Joining in on Nancy’s mysteries were fun, and nothing brought a gleam in Nancy’s eyes like a mystery. She’d been like that since they were kids, so really, if it bothered Bess, she would have long stopped being Nancy’s friend. But, she couldn’t deny that it hurt to be tossed aside so easily. The only consolation was the rain, at least Nancy had an excuse to hang out elsewhere.
Through the rain Bess saw the yellow-green hue emanating from the sign of Zeke’s curio shop. It really was a doozy of a place, though Bess felt bad that she dumped a bottle of sneezing powder onto Lamont. The poor guy didn’t even suspect her and blamed customers moving things around. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed the food truck and an old man who sat at a patio table reading a newspaper. Bess’s stomach rumbled. Well, it wouldn’t hurt to eat a bit while finding out about the old man.
Bess hurried over to the food truck and placed an order for crawfish. She then moved towards the old man and asked if she could sit by his side while she ate.
“Now why would I object to having such lovely company in this lovely rain we seem to be having?”
Bess smiled and pulled out a chair. Southern hospitality was about to meet Midwestern friendliness.
“Are you, by chance, Dr. Gilbert Buford?”
“That I am miss--?”
“Marvin. Do you know a Dr. Bruno Bolet? He passed away recently”.
“Of course I know him. He was my friend, not to mention my patient. Whole of New Orleans knows about the Bolets”.
“Right,” Bess started on her food. “I was wondering if you could tell me a bit about him?”
“Now why would you want to know about Dr. Bolet? You look to young to be spending time with an old coot like him”. Gilbert lowered his newspaper and looked thoroughly at Bess. He’d never see her around Bruno. The only young person Bruno kept around him was that curio shop owner Lamont.
“Dr. Bolet was you friend right? I was wondering if you could tell me a bit about him. What was he like? How did he die?”
“I would prefer a topic of a happier nature, but I do not want to be inhospitable,” Dr. Buford hesitated.
Score one for hospitality!
“I was Bruno’s friend, however, I cannot say he was mine”.
“Oh? Why so?”
“Fact is, while socializing with my fellow people, such as you, give me happiness, it did the opposite for Bruno. He was an eccentric man, an acquired taste. And the older he got, the less he seemed to care about how his idiosyncrasies negatively affected others”.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, take his nephew for one thing. Never talked to him. Never even talked to me about him. Never talked about his family. He wasn’t an egoist, but some might take it that way.”
“Did his idiosyncrasies ever bother you?”
Dr. Buford hesitated before responding. “There were times when Bruno was plain ridiculous. But, how should I put this?” Dr. Buford rubbed his hand on his chin in thought, “A mad scientist has sound reasoning and end result, even if it’s strange and abnormal to the rest of us”.
So it’s a matter of perspective? After his statement, Gilbert looked out into the rain for a while and Bess had to wonder how personal his last statement was. If Dr. Bolet wasn’t Dr. Buford’s friend, why did he react like so?
“For such an eccentric man, surely only an eccentric death suffices?” Bess quipped, hoping it would draw Dr. Buford back into the conversation. The old man turned and smiled, the orange light warmed his dark skin. He looked haggard and it struck Bess that Dr. Bolet died not too long ago. Grief acted in mysterious ways.
In an old professional voice, Dr. Buford answered, “He died of myocardial infraction likely caused by age-old atherosclerosis”. He then laughed at Bess’s confused expression. In all his years of study, he never understood why doctors gave such long complicated names to diseases when simple names existed. He once asked Bruno this as a jest, but the dentist spurred up with such vigor, declaring the whole medical industry as a farce. Everybody stared at them with the outburst and Gilbert asked himself again why he hung out with Bruno when the man did nothing but embarrass him.
“He died of a heart attack,” Gilbert clarified. “All too common with old age and with people who are socially isolated. “Apparently, the Bolet family has a history of heart attacks in old age, though none of them were health related”.
“So they were all fit as a fiddle, then one day, boom?” Bess asked.
Dr. Buford nodded. “Odd one, that family. But then again, this is New Orleans. Here the abnormal is normal, for those of us who are really in it, that is”.
Bess waited for the man to explain what he meant, but Dr. Buford did not elaborate.
“Funny thing was,” he said, “Bruno wasn’t always so recluse. Sure he was more reserved than others. The whole Bolet family was, but Bruno—well, after his brother’s death, something in him just broke, I guess”.
“How do they know it was a heart attack? Did they do an autopsy?”
Dr. Buford shook his head. “No. Given Bruno’s age, his family history, and the absence of foul play, an autopsy was declared unnecessary. His body was cremated as per his wishes. Funny thing is, he was the only member of his family to want a cremation”.
“Who decided to not do the autopsy?”
“Why, me. I was there when Bruno died. Saw it happen”.
“What happened?” Bess urged forgetting about her food.
“Well, I hadn’t seen him for a while so I went to visit him. When I arrived, the door was unlocked, as usual. I opened it and saw Bruno lying on the floor in obvious distress. Next thing I know, his housekeeper comes running up and just stared in shock. I sent her to call the ambulance. Then I—“.
Gilbert paused and thought over what he was going to say next.
“Well, I bent down and saw he wasn’t breathing. I pulled him away from the door and began to do chest compressions. I kept doing it till the medics arrived but nothing they did made a difference”.
“And Dr. Bolet was unconscious the whole time?”
“Yes,” Gilbert sighed. “Yes he was. One mercy I suppose”.
“You said you came to meet him, why then was he at the front door?”
Dr. Buford stared oddly at Bess. “You ask a lot of questions. You a reporter or something?”
“You guessed it sir. I am a reporter. Given that this is the Bolet family, it’s only natural everyone wants to know what happened in all the details”.
“Well, I don’t know if it’s any of the public’s business, but I suppose I could tell you. You’ve been nicer than the other reporters”.
Score one for friendliness!
Dr. Buford looked up and thought over Bess’s question. “Wait a minute. Why, yes—he was holding something. A piece of paper. And on the floor was an envelope”. Dr. Buford turned sharply at Bess, eyes widening in realization. “He must’ve collapsed after reading that letter!”
“Do you remember anything else?” Bess asked, leaning towards Dr. Buford. The story was finally getting good.
Dr. Buford chuckled. “Miss reporter, it’s quite a miracle I’ve remembered this much”. But the man still thought hard. “The odd thing is the letter. It was no longer in Bruno’s hand when the paramedics arrived. He might have let go when I moved him, but then it would have been lying around nearby and I did not see any paper around the area”.
Dr. Buford pressed his fingertips together as he went through his memories. Then, it dawned on him and he let out a grin.
“Iggy”.
“Iggy?”
“Bruno’s pet iguana. Bruno let all pets roam around the house freely. Iggy soon developed an irritating habit of stealing paper and stockpiling it in the vent system. I can’t recall how many times his housekeeper would call, asking for another copy of the medication because Bruno brought it home and left it on the table for Iggy to snatch up. Iggy must have taken the paper that day”.
“Did you see Iggy that day?”
“No,” Gilbert confessed. “But Bruno told me he was training Iggy to retrieve the things he’d stolen”.
“Dr. Buford,” Bess waited a moment before going forth with her question. “Do you think it’s possible that the housekeeper caused Dr. Bolet’s death? Maybe anger or vengeance or greed? Maybe she horded his pills and gave it all at once or something?”
“Young lady,” Gilbert exclaimed. “Are you insinuating that Bruno was murdered? I know you reporters need a good catch scoop, but possible murder is pushing the limits! And besides, if Bruno’d died from an overdose, he would have looked and reacted differently. No,” Dr. Buford hit the table with his hand. “I am certain it was a heart attack”.
Why is he so adamant?
“However,” Dr. Buford added as an afterthought. “I know Renee is deeply involved with the practice of hoodoo. As Bruno’s housekeeper, she had perfect opportunity to use it against my poor old friend”.
“Surely you jest! Hoodoo works?” Bess laughed.
“Miss reporter, one thing you should take to heart in your career is to never ever underestimate the power of suggestion. If a person believes something, even on a subconscious level, fantasy can easily become fact. Who knows what rubbish Renee filled Bruno’s head with. Drink this, don’t eat that, this brings good luck, that brings bad luck. Day in, day out—even if he didn’t believe in the stuff, who knows how much his subconscious was absorbing. Remember he was very old, very isolated, very lonely. He was a vulnerable man”.
“So it is possible that Renee could have caused Dr. Bolet’s heart attack?”
“Now don’t quote me on this because I still say it was not murder, but yes, she very well could have”.
So he doesn’t have a good opinion of Renee. I wonder why? Bess thanked Dr. Buford and hurried back to her hotel. Once inside, she called Nancy and conveyed what she had learned.
Nancy woke up to crows cawing at each other. For a sweet moment she relished going back to sleep. The bed and pillows were very soft and Nancy was not ready to take on the day yet. Then her body woke her up to her position. One leg was half off the bed, numb. One hand was holding onto her phone. Her notebook was lying open and her pen left an ink stain on the paper. Her arms were splayed out and her back was aching. Slowly she lifted herself up and her bed head came tumbling forward. Her eyes slowly closed but the caws opened them back up. Nature was in no mood to let her sleep.
Nancy recalled her conversation last night. Bess was right in her assumption that Dr. Buford seemed way too quick to make a diagnosis. Then again, he was a doctor. But he provided Nancy with a better understanding of that envelope. Now she was sure that Dr. Bolet was reading a letter from Milo Research and Technology, and Nancy had a hunch it was to do with the whisperer skull. She told Bess about Henry and his illegal sale, and what she learned about the crystal skulls and Bruno Bolet. Bess was silent for a moment, then in a worried voice, asked Nancy if she knew what she was getting herself into.
“Nance, this really sounds like a cult,” Bess remarked, and Nancy had to agree. There was too much hush-hush and a desire to put the past behind. Given how much everyone gained from Dr. Bolet’s death, it seemed like everyone would have a financial motive. Nancy even wondered if Dr. Buford and Renee were working together, but that seemed too cheesy. Not to mention, Bess said that Dr. Bolet did not seem to like Renee. I wonder if she feels the same?
But for now, Nancy had more pressing concerns. Iggy. She had to get Iggy to give that paper. Correction, I have to get Henry to get Iggy to give that paper. He seemed distressed when she bumped into him last night, but said nothing. Wonder if those ghosts came after all. She still could not believe that the supernatural existed. It seemed too ridiculous, but then the mystery was still young, and Henry said he felt nothing, so maybe the ghost thing was just a hoax. Nancy glanced at her phone and her eyes widened. It was nearing noon. She had slept late, but she was usually always an early riser. She quickly got out of bed and hurried to get ready.
When Nancy came into the kitchen, she was surprised to see Henry sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a cup to his head. He glanced up when she arrived, nodded at her, and went back to nursing his head. If Nancy didn’t know better, she would have assumed Henry had a hangover, but it seemed that both of them were beginning their day late.
“Did you eat yet?” Nancy asked. Henry shook his head. Guessing it must be too early for a meal, Nancy opted for toast and butter. She popped the toast into the toaster, and then buttered them heavily. She then poured herself a cup of tea and joined Henry at the table, giving him his plate. Henry seemed surprised at the gesture and mumbled a thanks. They ate in silence. Once the first toast and half the tea went down, Nancy felt invigorated to start her day. She turned towards Henry and started to talk.
“Got a task for you today”.
“Oh? The great detective need my help?”
“Yes, you should be so honored. I’m usually figuring things out myself”.
Henry laughed softly then asked what she needed.
“I need you to find Iggy and see if you can find where he stores the paper he steals”. Nancy pulled out the envelope. “We need to know what letter this envelope carried because your uncle was reading it on the night he died”.
“How do you know that?”
“Bess talked to Dr. Buford. Here,” Nancy showed Henry Bess’s number. She also gave him her number. You can call her if you want to know more about their conversation. Also, if you have any questions for Dr. Buford yourself. Henry took out his phone. He noticed there were two unread messages but ignored them for now. Instead, he quickly added Bess’s name to his contacts.
“Thanks. What else did she say?” he asked.
“Well Bess and I both think that Dr. Buford is trying to hide something. Bess also mentioned that Dr. Buford does not like Renee”.
“And how does Renee feel about Dr. Buford?”
“That’s what I’m going to figure out today”.
They finished their food and Henry took the plates and washed them. This time, Nancy helped to dry them and place them away. Henry then went to Bruno’s study while Nancy slipped out to the garden. Renee was in her usual spot, tending to her plants.
“Hello,” Nancy called out.
Slowly, Renee put down her garden tool and turned to face Nancy. She gave a nod but did not smile.
“Hello dear. Did you eat the rice and beans I left out for you?”
“Oh,” Nancy faltered. “No, I didn’t”.
“Oh”. Renee turned down towards her plants.
“I was wondering if I could ask you some questions?”
“Some more questions?”
“Yes”.
Renee sighed and nodded.
“What’s your opinion of Dr. Buford?”
Renee seemed surprised by Nancy’s question but did not hesitate to answer.
“Dr. Buford is a fine doctor. Treated Dr. Bolet well”.
“So you have no suspicions of his practice?”
“Dear girl,” Renee exclaimed with a laugh. “Why would I have any suspicions of Dr. Buford?”
Nancy took a shot. “Do you think he might be the skeleton man?”
Renee sputtered and Nancy continued.
“You mentioned that you saw the skeleton man too, right? Well from what I’ve learned, it seems that Dr. Buford was the only person who regularly meet with Dr. Bolet. So, it’s likely the skeleton man was him”.
Renee was quiet for a moment, then she said in a low voice, “I don’t know”.
Nancy tried another question.
“Your room, it’s, it’s got markings on the wall. What are they?”
“They are what keeps that dark being away from my room”.
“Dark being?”
“Those voices, they call to me at night. Can’t stand it. So I put those signs on the wall to send those spirits away”.
“Did it work?”
“Oh yes,” Renee gave a pleased smile. “They vanished the day I put them up”.
Nancy hesitated with her next question. “Dr. Buford doesn’t seem to like your practice in hoodoo. Has he ever told you that?”.
“Oh my dear,” Renee sighed. “The world is too complex for this question to have a direct answer. If I said I didn’t believe, then why do I participate in hoodoo? If I do, then everyone is ready to prove me wrong. But, my experiences are mine. I know there is something unnatural about our world. It doesn’t need a name, but if you want to give it a name, give it”.
Nancy groaned internally. In all of her mysteries so far, there was always some logical reason, something that would give way to some sort of explanation of unnatural causes. And yet, she knew that Renee was right. The atmosphere in the San Francisco house, the Mayan museum, Malone’s speakeasy, Camille’s sparks, they all exuded a presence of something beyond the fabricated ghosts, but she never bothered to investigate beyond the mystery. Now it was coming back to bite her. Then, Nancy realized a crucial question.
“Renee, where did you get that doll from? The one on your chair? I’ve seen it before, but only in a remastered train meant to look like something from the eighteen-hundreds”.
“Oh, that old thing? I just found it in a curio shop?”
“Which one?”
“The one where that young man who came over to visit Dr. Bolet works. What was it now?”
“Zeke’s?” Nancy asked.
“Yes! That one. He sells all sorts of antiques. Many of which decorate the manor”.
Nancy thanked Renee then went to find Henry. He wasn’t in the study, so Nancy went up to the secret room and saw Henry standing in front of the open vent, arms crossed. He turned, and when he saw Nancy, he beckoned her towards him.
“Iggy likes to hang out in Bruno’s study. Lots of paper to steal. So I watched him to see where he went. He went into the duct and I remembered this one was open, so I headed up here but he hasn’t come yet”.
Henry turned towards Nancy. “What did you find out?”
“Well, Renee has a good opinion of Dr. Buford. She doesn’t know he is the skeleton man”.
Henry sighed. “So we know nothing new”. He looked towards the vent. “I can’t believe we’re depending on a lizard”.
“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve relied on lizards,” Nancy said as she snickered. She moved towards the pirate marionette doll. It reminded her so much of the doll in Renee’s room, but the pirate theme screamed Bruno’s jolly roger club. It even had an eyepatch over the left eye.
“Hey, Henry, what eye was the glass eye?”
“Left eye”.
Nancy then noticed that the doll was holding some box with buttons, and each button had a word under it. Bah? Moo? Boo? They were the same words in the hoodoo book Renee had! Quickly she brought out her notebook and pressed the buttons in the order she wrote down. There was another button labelled ‘talk’ which Nancy pressed. Suddenly the doll whirred to life, blinked it blue eye and repeated the words in a low robotic voice. The voice attracted Henry’s attention who snapped his head towards the sound. When the doll finished, it’s eyeball fell out. Nancy caught it quickly and noticed a piece of paper inside the eye. Carefully she pulled it out and opened it.
It’s time to learn about the Bolet family Henry.
Follow the clues to learn about each member.
Learn their roles and duties.
Recognize your own.
Recognizing the scrawl as Bruno’s hand, Nancy continued to read and found that Bruno had created another scavenger hunt for Henry. The first clue was to go to the last denizen buried on Bruno’s guard. There were subsequent clues, but they did not make any sense and Nancy guessed that whatever they would find would make the next clue make sense.
She went over to Henry and silently handed him the letter and the eye. Henry read it quickly and shook his head.
“There’s eccentric, and then there’s uncle Bruno. Come on, Iggy’s not coming. Might as well do something else”.
“Maybe we should give him food? The smell might attract him”.
Henry agreed, then added, “But it can’t be anything that will rot easily. I don’t want ants”.
Nancy rolled her eyes and jabbed her elbow into Henry. “Such a clean freak”.
After a moment, Henry jabbed her back, hesitated, then said, “What can I say, I’m an accountant. I like everything to be organized neatly”.
They came out through Henry’s room and collided into Renee. She looked at them and her eyebrows raised a bit as if she were amused. There was an awkward silence and Nancy, hurried to fill it in.
“Uh, Renee. Can I ask you something?”
“Again?” Renee quirked.
“Um, yes. That box in your room. The one with blue circles on it. Is it yours?”
“No. Dr. Bolet gave it to me”.
Nancy nodded then hurried after Henry down the stairs. As they descended, Renee called out to them.
“It’s raining again. Would you like the beans and rice for dinner? It’s good on a rainy day”.
“Anything’s fine Renee,” Henry said.
“Very well”.
Renee went into her room and shut the door. Nancy and Henry looked at one another and Henry just shrugged and went towards the living room.
“Should we give Iggy the rice and beans?” Nancy asked.
“I don’t need a gassy iguana”.
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Here's my 100 questions for my OC thing!
My OC is Laureli, a 6'2 Altmer trying to make his way in Skyrim
1. What do they smell like?
Whatever alchemy ingredient he’s been working with, really. Lavender is what he smells like most often, though.
2. What is their voice like?
A smooth-ish medium pitch Altmer voice that has elements of calm and irritation.
3. What is their biggest motivator?
Helping others through his alchemy. He wants to improve medicine for Skyrim, as well as all of Tamriel.
4. What is their most embarrassing memory?
He had a whole scientific presentation one year that ended up being completely wrong. He got humiliated in front of everyone.
5. How do they deal with/react to pain?
Winces at it, curses, and then gets to treating the problem.
6. What do they like to wear?
Functional clothes that keep him warm and allow him to carry alchemy ingredients in his pockets.
7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?
The relationships with some of the people he’s helped over the years. It gave him a sense of purpose and fulfillment knowing that he could help people, save people.
8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?
He’s an alchemist...in Skyrim...I’m pretty sure there are a few contenders… (giants toe, large/small antlers, ectoplasm, the list goes on)
9. Describe the way that they sleep.
Normal side sleeper. Prefers to sleep on his left side.
10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?
Horker stew. It’s actually way better than he thought it would be.
11. What do they feel most insecure about?
If what he’s doing is good enough. He has big problems with perfectionism that still persist with him even after leaving Summerset.
12. How do they like to dress?
Robes with an alchemy enchantment and a hood.
13. How do they react to feelings of guilt?
He tries to shake them off, but has panic attacks and whatnot sometimes as a result of them.
14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal?
Is completely shattered by it. He’s dealt with this so many times before, though, so he keeps his cards close to his chest.
15. What is their greatest achievement?
Creating potions that help much more than the average cure disease potion would, as well as all sorts of other concoctions. Also, he’s created a sort of disinfectant and is working on a hand sanitizer.
16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?
Cranky, cranky, cranky.
17. What are they like when they’re drunk?
Drunk? Oh no no no no Laureli does not drink (and even if he did he’d be out real quick)
18. What kind of music do they enjoy?
He isn’t really into music, but he enjoys the songs the bard plays at the Bannered Mare.
19. Are they right or left handed?
Right, but is practicing with his left hand too in case something happens to his right.
20. Fears?
Death and failure, mostly.
21. Favorite kind of weather?
As the sun rises and there’s dew all over the grass, the light reflecting through each drop.
22. Favorite color?
The color of eyes. Or, more specifically, the hundreds of little pinpricks of different colors inside of eyes, It’s really quite fascinating.
23. Do they collect anything?
OH YEAH. So many different alchemy ingredients and random stuff to be used in his next works-
24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?
Cold, which is good since he lives in Skyrim.
25. What is their eye color?
Chartreuse (like most Altmer)
26. What is their race/ethnicity?
Altmer
27. Hair color?
White
28. Are they happy where they are currently?
Yup. Breezehome is small, but manageable, and Whiterun is a decent hold to live in.
29. Are they a morning person?
Yes. He gets tired around 9 and can’t stay up past 12.
30. Sunrise or sunset?
Sunrise.
31. Are they more messy or more organized?
Very organized. Again, he’s a perfectionist.
32. Pet peeves?
People touching his things as well as people inserting themselves into his business.
33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?
An amulet of Talos a Nord gave him. He hadn’t gotten the chance to learn much about Talos at home, and he found it very interesting talking to the local Nords about their beliefs. That amulet reminds him of his first day in Skyrim, the first day of his new life.
34. Least favorite food?
Taffy treats, or anything with that sort of texture and stickiness that can get stuck to his teeth very easily.
35. Least favorite color?
Very pale green. It looks gross.
36. Least favorite smell?
Death. (Yes, death has a smell)
37. When was the last time they cried?
Recently.
38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?
No. Oh Auri-el, no no no no. He cries alone and he makes sure of it.
39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?
Was in a fire when he was younger, he has a burn going up the inner leg on his right leg.
40. Do they have any scars?
Only mental ones. (and the burn scar on his leg)
41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?
Perfectionism, past abuse, self hate, among others.
42. Do they have any bad habits?
Picking at his nails. He knows it makes them hurt and get bloody, but sometimes he just can’t help it.
43. Why might someone dislike them?
He can be very rude if he’s working, but to be fair, it is really annoying to be bothered in the middle of your work.
44. Why might someone love them?
Who wouldn’t love an overworked science boye? But in all seriousness, if he loves someone, he will be very caring towards them and is also just great listener. Tries not to care any more though because of personal trauma.
45. Do they believe in ghosts?
Yup. He’s heard of people’s encounters with them. Honestly, you’d be stupid to not believe in them.
46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?
At this point? No. Farkas later down the line? Yes.
47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?
Farkas, but we ain’t talking about that yet~
48. Are they dating/married to anyone?
No
49. Do they like surprises?
No. Please do not surprise this poor man he will stagger back and crash into everything.
50. When is their birthday?
9th of Hearthfire (September 9th)
51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?
He takes a few seconds to acknowledge it and then gets on with his work.
52. Do they have any family?
Yup! A Mom, a Dad, a younger sister, and a male cousin that lives nearby (he’s in the Thalmor and the whole family has very Pro-Thalmor views)
53. Are they close to their family?
HAH- no~
54. What is their MBTI type?
INTJ (Damn this list for making me look up stereotypes for this. Honestly I hate the MBTI system so much-)
55. What is their zodiac sign?
Virgo
56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?
Ravenclaw
57. What D&D alignment are they?
If lawful chaotic good was a thing then yes
58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?
Yes, but they are often so tangled up that it’s hard to get any real meaning from them.
59. What are their views on death?
“It’s fine, it’s fine, I’ll be fine-” Hopes that he’ll be fine but is really scared about it.
60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?
Bad science puns. He will stifle a chuckle before telling you how bad your joke was.
61. When bored, how do they pass time?
This man does not get bored. He will always find something alchemy related to study or look into.
62. Do they enjoy being outside?
Yes. Laureli loves the Skyrim weather (for the most part. Places like Dawnstar and Winterhold suck)
63. Do they have an accent?
Yes. He has the typical Altmer accent.
64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?
“Why is this here? This isn’t mine.”
65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say
He would probably take too long deciding and die before he could do/say anything.
66. How do they feel about sex?
Sex repulsed asexual.
67. What is their sexuality?
GAY
68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?
Nope.
69. Is there anything that they find really gross?
He’s seen so much it would take a lot to surprise him here.
70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?
Grumpy scientist with no people skills.
71. Do they enjoy helping people?
Yes, definitely
72. Are they allergic to anything?
Not really. (Lucky)
73. Do they have a pet?
No
74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?
Nope, unless you press his buttons. His anger is pretty much “What in the name of Auri-el is wrong with you?! Don’t touch my equipment!!”
75. How patient are they?
Very...until you hit his limit. Then he gets passive aggressive.
76. Are they good at cooking?
Not really. He can be good at it, he just chose not to learn in favor of working on his projects. Can make enough to live on, though.
77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?
He doesn't have a favorite insult (he rarely insults people).
78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy?
Talking fast, pacing, flappy hands.
79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?
Try to avoid bringing those fears up around them and avoiding making fun of them. If their fear is nearby, he will either tell them or take care of it. (which is good because Farkas is scared of spiders)
80. Are they trustworthy?
Yes, but you have to be a very certain kind of person to work with him.
81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?
Sometimes, especially romantic feelings. Romantic attraction? Nope, not possible- (It totally is; he’s in denial)
82. Do they exercise regularly?
With all of the walking he does around various holds, yes.
83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?
Yes. He’s a perfectionist with many things, but has learned to let go a bit more when it comes to his appearance. He still will take ages to get ready, though.
84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?
Tattoos, braids, basically everything you’d see on a typical Nord. It’s so different from his home and he’s completely enamored.
85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive?
Himbo nord men. Sweet morons basically.
86. Do they like sweet foods?
Not really. Sweet foods do have their place, but he isn’t wanting to get any cavities, so he tries to limit his sugar. (Especially since Altmer live 200-300 years aprox)
87. What is their age?
52 (~20s for an Altmer)
88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?
Tall, but about average for an Altmer
89. Do they wear glasses or contacts?
No, but if he did he would have half-moon spectacles.
90. Do they consider themselves attractive?
Not really. He doesn’t really think anyone is attractive. (Well, except for Nord himbos, but he doesn’t know that until he meets Farkas)
91. What is their sense of humor like?
Practically nonexistent, but when there is humor it’s mostly dry and sardonic.
92. What mood are they most often in?
That sort of focused work mode you get in when you’re really concentrating, as well as somewhat-sociable-but-still-kind-of-tired-and-grumpy
93. What kinds of things anger them?
People messing up his equipment. Oh sweet Auri-el, if you touch his things he will explode. Also, he hates the racism that the Thalmor promote. (He hates racism in general, but he hates the Thalmor’s views the most).
94. Outlook on life?
“It sucks, but I do find quite a bit fascinating and I’ll help where I can.”
95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed?
His perfectionism, how lonely he knows he is, and more.
96. What is their greatest weakness?
Again, his perfectionism, as well as having his work dictate more in his life than he should.
97. What is the greatest strength?
His brain. He remembers small details extremely well, and is practically an encyclopedia when it comes to alchemy.
98. Something that they regret?
How awful he used to be to everyone back home. He got a lot of pushback on his dreams and who he was, so he lashed out. Even though there wasn’t much he could do there, he still regrets hiring his family and wants to try at a relationship again with them (lol good luck).
99. Biggest accomplishment?
How is this different from “Greatest Achievement”?
100. Create your own! (Why is his alchemy so different from the norm?)
Because he’s trying to do something much more along the lines of modern medicine as opposed to just potions.
101. (Bonus!) Why is he in Skyrim?
Because it’s rather lacking in the medicine department compared to the other provinces, so he decided his talents would be best used there. Obviously, his family protested, but he went anyways.
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Ranking the Lovelink Matches (a completely subjective list by moi)
22. Clementine Hill / Grace Kim
I already wasn’t into her because she’s a privileged rich girl who uses literary quotes to seem smart (but really it’s just obnoxious). But then she tells us she’s thinking about dumping us for her creepy old professor?? Girl needs an actual job so she can stop relying on her parents and a therapist for her daddy issues.
21. Dominic Wright / Adam Johnson
I’m still pretty early on in the storyline here but so far I’m just bored. A “love” photography theme? Big yawn.
20. Liam Park / Min-Jae Lee
How Is Dating A K-Pop Star This BORING
19. Jake Gonzales / Zayn Kassab
The sexting is fun but honestly his film project sounds terrible and he needs to cool his feelings down like 200%.
18. Angel Reed / Emmalyn Roberts
Look she’s amazing and gorgeous and the animals are ADORABLE but honestly I find her pretty boring compared to the other matches SORRY DON’T HATE ME
17. Antoine Dawson / Noah Cruz
He comes on too strong a lot but I dig the puppies and the sexual tension. I would absolutely enter a FWB relationship with him but nothing more.
16. Albert Bishop / Jonathan Hayes
This ranking is subject to change bc tbh I swiped left on these boys at first (#fuckamericanimperialism). But then other matches finished up and I needed more content and y’know what? Albert’s pretty okay. I like his backstory so far and he’s sweet and sexy. Should def get out of the military tho.
15. Stefan Silver / Oliver Black
I appreciate that he’s a more consent-friendly version of Christian Gray and I like the “defrosting ice king” trope. But I would much rather be using the riding crop on him than vice versa. >:)
14. Jamie Grant / Seth Evans
Jamie is kind of a weird match in that I LOVE his storyline but also the flirting is pretty weak?? Like, I literally would have had to pay gems for the first “date”. I’m not feeling much of a sexual connection here, but I’m all aboard the hacker kidnapping storyline.
13. Austin Russo / Damien Jones
He’s rough around the edges but the character growth is pretty spectacular. Gotta save my boo from death row.
12. Sam Knight / Michael Evans
Never thought I’d be into a jock frat boy but here we are. I like how I snarked at him constantly for a week and he still fell for me. Ghosting us after we call him out on his daddy issues is pretty weak tho.
11. Samantha Clark / Aesha Nora
Okay she isn’t the greatest person or partner but cute gamer gf?? Yes please. And she can cook and bench press me too! *swoon* Also Fiction needs to be real asap.
10. Sage Foster / Vitoria Voznesenky
Sage was one of my first matches and was my favorite for a while. Who doesn’t want a hot goth gf? But then she PUNCTURED MY LIP (does that even heal??) and almost ate me and I’m just not about that. Hopefully she can go give Baba Yaga a talking to and get that curse removed.
9. Skylar Quinn / Jaden Bower
So making us commit a crime and then ditching us on the first date wasn’t cool, and I’m not much for a “rebel without a cause,” but then Skylar hit me with his tragic backstory and, well, I’m weak y’all. Also he’s so smart and snarky and sexy and I want him to achieve his dreams.
8. Eve Rockwood / Alice Martin
Look I’m still pissed at Eve for ditching us in Ibiza. But also I would absolutely drop everything to follow a hot girl to Japan.
7. William Crome / Julien Alexandre
I was never really into the whole dating a vampire thing but William just does it for me. I think it’s the hair and the old timey fashion. And he told off his mom for me, which is more than I can say about SOME of these matches.
6. Hugo Hornsby / Marco Bottazzi
Hugo is lowkey a garbage human who absolutely emotionally cheated on his long-term fiance with us. So why do I love him so much?? Idk, could be my trash taste in men, could be my love of geeks, could be the delicious drama of his plotline. Hugo pls come back from ur convo with ur fiance and d*ck us down already.
5. Kayla Summers / Jasmin Medina
Kayla/Jasmin is objectively the most badass match in Lovelink. She’s hot, ambitious, and didn’t ghost me for a dumb reason. She can kill it in heels AND kill actual killers! Get you a girl who can do both!
4. Raphael Becker / Wyatt Moore
The creepy cult plot is fascinating and Raph is the perfect combination of sweet/romantic and hott. That dream date was amazing. Pls Lovelink, when will my husband* come back from the war**?
* musician boyfriend
** creepy cult village
3. Ryan Byrne
Ryan is lowkey my perfect guy--sweet, nerdy, and SO SEXY OMG. I need his sex scene so bad pls. Also he might have caused the zombie apocalypse and that’s very interesting of him. I’m hooked on his story and I want his **** hooked in my *****.
2. Milena Sarafian / Ana Samarine (also maybe the same route as Ruby Thomas and Julia Greene?? Idk I’m pretty confused by this whole situation)
Apparently my ideal type is an adorable yet sexy computer who discovers love and how to be human through interacting with me. I should probably go watch that Her movie.
1. Cpt. Muffin
CAT. SHY BOY. <3.
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Sole Mates🦶❤️🦶 (Bakugou x Reader)
Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞
This is the interactive story prompt that won by one vote!!!
I’ll try to update this as regularly as the last interactive series, but first I have to find a new poll website because I dont like OpinionStage anymore! So if you have any suggestions hit me up.
Anyway, this chapter wont be one you can vote for, as it is just an introduction, but get ready for some tough, drama-filled decisions later on.
*Side note : ここ= “here” in Japanese (see if you get my reference lol)*
HnM 💕
Part 2
Part 1:
Hey, I dropped off Koko with my mom. You can pick her up at 6, right? I am really, really sorry, but there was something important that came up.
Your face contorted in slight disdain at the bright screen in your hands. You gave a sharp, disapproving sigh.
The clacking of your heels against the darkening city’s stained pavement worked to egg you on in your quick pace as you quickly swiped away from the text message’s notification.
The pager in your pocket continuously beeped on your side, whining for your attention as your neglectful eyes could only concentrate on your hoard of new emails in the device in your hands. The only thing that could break your concentration from your phone screen would be the occasional vibration from your other work phone.
The sounds of the city alongside these factors blended in horrifyingly well to give you the cacophony of your everyday life.
And you knew the beat of this song well. It was practically the only thing you have heard for the past six years: “7 to 5 Lady Boss with a Stressful Homelife” feat. Blistered feet, Unrealistic Deadlines, Overtime on Fridays, and Lizzo.
Even when you weren’t listening to it, it would stick to the corners of your mind and whisper to you, reminding you of it’s presence-- like you were sure to forget anytime soon. Yeah, right.
But that’s okay-- you were on the verge of your “big break” so to speak. The company that you were working under was only a steppingstone to your success. You would soon find yourself with your own the company and metamorphosis from the Lady Boss to the Boss Boss. You would slip your grimey boss a two weeks notice and a “fuck you” to boot. You were so close.
It was an uphill battle for sure, but you had finally reached the curve at the top! You would just have to push through the next few weeks before you could finally see the horizon again.
Too bad you were about to get smacked square in the face and sent hurdling back downhill.
Literally.
A sudden explosion in front of you violently knocked into you and sent you flying off of your feet. You didn’t even have the ability to scream— the air was ruthlessly knocked out of you. As you roughly regained contact with the ground, you tried to steady yourself to no avail as you were thrashed down the scratchy concrete of the sidewalk.
The beat of your everyday life was rudely abrupted by the choir of shrill screams that surrounded you as others were also violently displaced from their everyday routines.
You could hardly even focus on the chaos because damn your head hurt.
You tried to steady your sight on your surroundings, but the pounding in your head and pulsating throbs displaced throughout your body overwhelmed your senses and made it very difficult to focus on much else.
When your eyes could finally refocus, you found a blazing orange light unblur itself in front of you and turn into a raging inferno. You blinked a few times as a sticky substance dripped down your forehead and dared to once again obscure your vision.
That’s when you noticed a small child.
Your heart fell at the sight of his wailing form. These types of scenes only happen in movies, right? As your brain pounded against your skull that is exactly what it felt like-- like you were an observer watching a horror movie. Except you couldn’t cover your eyes at the scary parts.
You observed in absolute terror as a large chunk of debris dropped towards the baby boy’s crying, unsuspecting form, snapping you back into full consciousness.
“Watch out!!” your own maternal instincts immediately numbed your body to any pain that you were going through and sent a jolt of determination into your legs as you sprung up. You sloppily threw yourself over toward the boy to act as a shield for his small frame; however, at the last moment, your saw a large, gloved hand reach out for him at the same time.
“GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!” You heard a voice screech right before you loudly smacked your face into a hard object. Your cheek throbbed painfully as you fell to the ground again with the boy cradled protectively in your arms.
You looked up to see Ground Zero, a local hero in your prefecture, glaring at you, a red mark fading onto his cheek as well, “Do you have a fucking death wish or something?!” his hands furiously crackled at his sides, “I don’t need goddamnned extras in my way! Quit playing hero and get lost!” You could only blink at his barrage of verbal assaults.
Who the fuck was he talking to?! It certainly wasn’t you!
As your face shriveled in contempt, your eyes flashed over toward the boy in your arms for a moment before your mouth opened to tell arrogant Mr. Zero about his self. You had recently made a pinky promise to stop cursing in front of children, but surely this could be a fair exception.
However instead of the venom coated words you had meant, a shrill shriek flew out of your mouth as a searing pain tore at the bottom of your foot.
You gasped from the sudden intensity and instantly released the young boy from your clutches as your hands jumped down to your leg, tearing your snapped work heels off and casting them aside. You twisted your appendage up to face you and watched in horror as giant, red welts emerged deep from within your skin.
Did you step on something? No. This burns! The explosion must have set something on fire and your dumbass must have danced on the shit.
Fuck.
The pain seemed to be seeping deeper into your body with each agonizing throb. As the fire crawled up your leg, Ground Zero began joining you in your screams,
“WHAT THE FUCK IS ON MY FOOT?!” The idol screeched at you as he angrily ripped his boot off and tried to find the source of his pain. Through teary eyes you watched in horror as your name burned itself onto his sole.
“I DIDN’T DO IT!” you protested, “IT’S ON MINE TOO, ASSHOLE!” you frantically flashed him the searing red letters that were growing on the bottom of your foot as well. They must be his name. Was this some kind of fucked up sequel to “Toy Story” that you hadn’t bothered on seeing?
The two of you then looked to the nervous, little boy who you had both jumped to save, “Oopsie…” he quietly cried, “Please, don’t tell my mommy! She is going to be so mad! I bonded someone again,” his small frame quivered relentlessly as he sobbed.
“BONDED?!” Ground Zero screeched, grabbing the front of the boys shirt and roughly yanking him toward him, “You did this!” he spat as more of a disgusting realization than a question.
You reflexively reached out and smacked the mans hand away from the child, “Get the hell off of him!” you screamed as you held the boy close to you “What the fuck is your problem? He’s just a kid!” You threw all pinky swears out of the window at this point.
The furious man faltered in his angry demeanor for a moment as surprise flashed across his expression, but he quickly regained his persona as he deeply scowled at you. You matched the red-hot fire of his eyes with a glare of your own. You weren’t afraid of him. Superhero or not.
Tch. Yeah. “Hero.”
You couldn't stand “heroes” like him-- people who were so obviously more interested about their own image as a savior than actually caring about the people they saved.
Suddenly the little boy in your arms began wildly fidgeting in your arms, his sudden movements sharply reminding you about the searing damages that you had incurred within the last few minutes.
“Mommy!” He cried out as he freed himself from you and ran off into a nearby woman’s arms.
She frantically welcomed him, “Shiro, baby! Oh my goodness!” she cried out.
Suddenly, you felt a heavy twinge of pain in your head, momentarily blurring your vision as everything began splitting off to form two. Your double vision only worsened as the woman’s fading voice continued to ring out, “Don’t run off like that! You gave me a heart attack.” You tried to blink your vision back to normal again but failed as everything began fading.
“S-shit...” you cursed under your breath before sliding down onto the pavement under you. You finally allowed your eyelids to shut as your body became heavily numb.
“Hey! You better explain what the fuck is wrong with my foot right now, lady!” you heard Ground Zero roar out, “START TALKIN’! What the fuck did he mean by “bonded”?!”
“Oh, my god... Oh my god,” The mother breathed heavily. Her voice became softer, and you couldn't tell if it was because your were slipping into unconsciousness or if she was moving father away. She continued speaking rapidly despite your disoriented confusion, “I-I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she simply replied, “Shiro, we have to go. N-now!”
"NO YOU DON’T! WHERE THE FUCK... do you think... you’re g...”
You heard a final thud before a warm blackness consumed your entire being.
Everything seemed to pause for just a few beats.
When you snapped your eyes open seemingly a moment later, a stark bright white light painfully filled your eyes causing you to abruptly snap them back shut.
What the fuck. Where were you?
You looked down at yourself an noticed a bright green gown. You frowned at the thin fabric. You never really were a fan of green...
Your face crinkled inwards as you absentmindedly toyed with the light fabric before a sudden realization smacked your clouded brain-- Oh! You were in a hospital!
Fuck!
Your memories quickly flooded into your brain after that epiphany and you frantically sat up, searching the plain, white room you were situated with crazed eyes. You weren't really sure what you had originally been searching for but found a wave of relief as you found your main cell phone situated in a nearby counter.
Oh, bless! You couldn’t have prayed for a better hospital visitor!
You quickly flipped the heavy fleece hospital blanket off of your legs and stretched your aching arms over to the device. Your sole companion was heavily cracked but you could still make out most words as you desperately searched through your notifications. You had over a dozen missed texts and calls from one person.
Hey, you never came to pick up Koko, are you okay?
Y/N? If you’re doing overtime, I just wish that you would say so.
Hey, you’re not answering the phone. I’m getting worried.
I have Koko now.
Where are you?!
Suddenly something in you snapped your attention away from your phone. You could feel it moving toward you, whatever it was. It felt as if it was an extension of your own being. Like your arm had wandered off to grab a drink at the shitty hospital cafeteria and was only just now returning to you. Startled, you threw a glance at yourself to check your body but found nothing missing.
The familiar presence finally entered the room, “HEY!” Ground Zero snapped as he roughly kicked the door open.
Startled, you pushed the hem of your gown as far down as possible in a futile attempt to cover you legs, “What do you think you—”
He loudly cut you off, “Something fucking weird is going on. That dumb brat must have fucked with us...” he angrily trailed off as he became deep in thought. Your nerves calmed themselves as you noticed that he was wearing a gown similar to your own before he stormed up to you and shoved his black phone screen in your face.
You confusedly stared at your reflection as he ordered you,“Look at your cheek,” he gruffly commanded. You didn’t have much of a choice as the black mirror was forced into your vision.
That was a nasty fucking bruise. Okay. You looked hideous. Is that what the asshole wanted you to see? You confusedly looked up at him and surprise befell you as you noticed that he was sporting a familiar grey mark on his own cheek.
You must have smacked faces earlier harder than you thought.
“No. we didn’t,” he growled angrily, “You smacked your face against my gauntlet. But I fucking felt it!” He barked.
You rapidly blinked your eyes in surprise. You did not just say that out loud.
The hero seemed to suddenly realize this as well as his angry expression once again dropped alongside his jaw. He seemed to be at a loss for words as his eyes danced across the room—trying to find a viable answer to the weird occurrence.
“What the hell does this all mean? What’s happening?!” you frantically cried out, snapping him out of his confused trance,
“Well we would fucking know if your ass could have stayed awake for a few more seconds,” he resorted back into his ferocity, “That idiot hag up and left with her kid while you were busy sleeping! It fucking knocked me out too! How the hell is this happening?!” Your eyebrows dropped from surprised to anger quicker than a drop of a dime. He was not about to pin all this bullshit on you.
“Well maybe you could have gotten some answers out of her if you weren't such a loud-mouthed dickhole! Who wouldn't run from that?!” you loudly snapped. His anger seemed to grow by ten fold, but just as you noticed a large vein pop out from the side of his angry head, you heard a familiar voice cry out which effectively interrupted the incoming eruption,
“Y/N?! Are you in there?!” you heard someone cry out from the hallway.
What.... what the hell was he doing here? Fuck. This was not the time for him, of all people, to show up. Your eyes widened as you waited for him to burst in.
“I came as soon as the hospital called!” he cried out as he entered the room. Of course, he was still your emergency contact, you idiot. Only you would accidentally leave your baby daddy, your ex as an emergency contact after so long has passed.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! You mentally kicked yourself as you looked into his disgustingly adorable, concerned eyes.
The man ran up to your bedside and threw his hands on top of yours, clutching them for dear life. A wave of emotion jolted your heart at his proximity—emotions that you hadn’t felt in a long time. You had been so damn careful to keep your distance, dammit. For months now you had meticulously planned Koko’s drop off and pick up times so you got a glimpse of him at most. You haven’t even heard his voice in weeks because you had resolved to leave communications to mostly short texts when necessary.
All for naught as his round, green eyes unknowingly dared you to fall in love with him again.
You uncomfortably shifted your gaze away from his longing stare. You could tell that he had been crying, and the fact that it was out of fear for your safety only added to the stiffness in your chest as his trembling voice cried out to you, “God, I am so glad that you're...” he trailed off, finally noticing the other man in the room, “Kacchan?”
Ground Zero, or Kacchan’s, anger hadn’t had the time to die down since you yelled at him a few seconds ago, and he was about ready to explode,
“THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE, DEKU!?” he furiously cried out as he snatched the man away from you. And held a sparkling fist to his face.
You could feel the utter hatred seeping from his mind and it made you sick.
Exposition city😂
Anyway now that that is over with, I can get to the juicy stuff.
Yay! I am so excited
HnM💕
#Bakugou x reader#bakugou imagine#bnha imagine#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha#mha#bnha imagines#mha imagine#i might edit this to be completely different#mha imagines#my hero academia#boku no hero x reader#boku no hero academia#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#izuku x reader#izuku imagine#bnha x reader#mha x reader#interactive series#sole mates#soulmate#soulmates
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Every episode of Camp Camp ranked: A very (non)objective list
It's well past the time of year when Season 5 of Camp Camp would've dropped. I fully understand and support it not coming out; the crew's health and safety are much more important than a comfort show.
However . . . man, would it be nice to have some comfort right now.
So I'm reliving the entire series! I've been known to share with the world a whole bunch of Spicy Hot Takes, but I've never really sat down and talked about my feelings about the show as a whole.
And what's the best way to do that? Well, just ask Jenny Nicholson: a numbered list! That is, here's the series ranked from worst episode to best, because I want to get the negativity out of the way early and focus on everything I love (and because people enjoy complaining, so let’s frontload all that).
The takes will be hot. The feelings will be intense. The post, I'm assuming, will be largely unread.
Let's do it!
Oh and duh, there are spoilers. I tried to keep it pretty chill, but you’ll want to have watched the whole show or just not care about spoilers before going forward.
Also slashes in the middle of “naughty words” are meant to prevent this from being kept out of the main tags. Who knows if it’ll work? I don’t.
60. Who Peed the Lake? (Season 4, epis/sode 3)
Ah, good ol' Pi/ss Lake (or as @hopefullypessimistic84 calls it because she's funnier than any of us will ever be, “Pis/s Fe/tish Dot Com”). Terrible, one of the few I’d consider nigh unwatchable. I actually kind of love this episode for being such great shorthand for "the absolute worst one."
Who signed off on an entire episode centered around Sherlock Holmes meets a bad om/o joke? Give me names and addresses: I just want to talk.
59. Reigny Day (Season 1, episode 6)
And nobody was surprised.
I'll admit I'm more willing to defend this episode than many people, but it's not . . . like, good. It seemed okay when there were only 11 other episodes to compare it to, but now that there have been so many bangers, this comes across as extremely weak.
And let’s just say the Na/zi jokes hit a lot differently in 2020 than they did in the summer of 2016.
I’m overall happy with the direction the showrunners have moved Dolph’s character in, and I can’t totally blame them for using a kind of humor that was fairly common in the pre-Trump era, but yikes, this has aged like milk. And it wasn’t even very funny at the time, so it aged like milk that was already pretty bad to begin with.
58. Squirrel Camp (Season 4, episode 10)
This is a dumb one.
Not much else to say; it’s just kinda stupid and lame.
57. Fashion Victims (Season 4, episode 13)
I love Sasha, but this is filler. Which isn’t in itself a bad thing -- I have a couple episodes near the top that could reasonably be called filler, and a valid argument could easily be made that “filler episodes” don’t actually exist in a show with no plot -- but as much as I adore the Flower Scouts and enjoy the handful of good moments we get in this episode . . . who cares? Does anyone really give a sh/it about anything that happens here? Does anyone get their life from this one?
I didn’t think so.
56. Foreign Exchange Campers (Season 3, episode 3)
I know, I know, your Russian waifu came from this episode. Why do you think it’s so low on this list?
Okay, for real: this is . . . fine. It’s fine. It’s fine? I’m not mad at it, it just feels tonally incongruous and not very memorable beyond the fact that the fandom got really weird and kinda gross about Vera. But the episode itself? There’s some cute stuff with Neil and Nikki being jealous, but for the most part it’s a big hunk of white bread with some super mild white cheese that’s kinda soggy from sitting in a bag for too long and getting all condensation-y.
That is to say: it’s fine.
ETA: Space Kid does say “fu/ck.” I can’t decide if that’s a point in the episode’s favor or against it.
This is the last of what I’d call the “bad” episodes. Everything after this ranges from mediocre to mind-blowingly amazing. But whatever our failing tier of Camp Camp episodes is, it stops right about here.
Onto the good stuff!
55. Night of the Living Ill (Season 2 Halloween episode)
I keep switching this with “Eggs Benefits,” which probably means they should be tied. But whatever, this is my list and I am in charge and I’ve finally decided, after like 5 changes, that I like this one a little bit less.
It’s a fun Romero parody with nothing I’d call bad. Really this one’s only so low on the list because I think it’s kinda icky, and looking at those green snotty faces makes me queasy. If you think this is a bad reason to put it near the bottom of the list, then make your own post.
54. Cameron Campbell Can't Handle the Truth Serum (Season 4, episode 11)
I . . . don’t remember this at all. I initially had it a bit higher because I tend to love things with Campbell in them, but then I realized that nothing about this episode stuck in my brain even a little bit.
Oh, this is the “Dolph has autism” episode that made everyone either extremely happy or really mad? Okay. I guess that’s the most remarkable thing about it. Neato.
Cam, I love you, but this was just not the best use of your sleazy charm.
53. Eggs Benefits (Season 2, episode 9)
This is one of those episodes with enough cute moments and good ideas to save it from being totally unmemorable, and I mostly enjoy rewatching. Platypus being a mom is a fabulous idea, and pairing the campers the way they did was mostly really interesting and fun.
The Preston-Nurf stuff takes it down several pretty significant notches, though. It’s what the kids would call problematic, and while I normally enjoy how the show doesn’t skew away from darker themes and jokes, it didn’t really fit either of their characters and just . . . isn’t fun to watch. It’s not especially funny, it’s not especially tragic, it’s just uncomfortable.
52. Camp Campbell Wants YOU! (Season 1, episode 0)
Honestly, this would be a lot higher if it was a full-length episode. It’s funny.
The next 5 or so episodes fall under the “cute but not very memorable” umbrella:
51. Nikki's Last Day on Earth (Season 3, episode 4)
I love the ensemble episodes, so this was always going to score higher than any of the single-character “meh” eps. I didn’t see the twist coming, though I know a lot of other fans did. Textbook example of “cute but not very memorable” -- the Platonic ideal of that concept.
50. The Candy Kingpin (Season 3, episode 9)
A clever idea that plays on Max’s worst characteristics and then calls him out for them, while also giving Dolph some much-needed character development. Unfortunately, I don’t feel like it really picks up until the last third of the episode, leaving the rest just kind of sitting there.
49. Campfire Tales (Season 4, episode 13)
Who doesn’t love campfire stories?
That’s all I got. They’re campfire stories.
ETA: OH SH/IT THIS ONE HAS THAT REALLY SCARY STORY! Where David’s all like . . . Slenderman’d. Fu/ck, I didn’t remember that until I was writing out my thoughts for #35 or so. That definitely elevates it, but I’m too tired to try and re-decide where this should go, so just tie it with “New Adventure!”
48. New Adventure! (Season 4, episode 4)
New trio! Focusing on these 3 was a definite risk, and I think it really paid off. While the “plot” itself isn’t anything special, there are a handful of really great side gags (hi, Dirty Kevin!!!!) and it’s fun to see these three interact. They all get some nice character beats. It’s a good time.
47. Something Fishy (Season 3, episode 8)
This might’ve hit me harder if I’d actually seen The Shape of Water, but the send-up works fine without having more than the seen-the-trailer level of understanding. Gwen dresses pretty, which I love; Max sucks, which I also love. What drags this one down is mostly feeling like the surreal aspects of the comedy go a bit too far into the “what the fu/ck am I looking at?” territory without really . . . making an actual joke beyond “look! Wacky!"
Why is David at the opera with a bird? Why??
46. City Survival (Season 3, episode 11)
Literally do not remember a single thing about this episode except David getting mugged and being called a “homeless twi/nk.” That should probably rank it lower on the list, but David being a fluttery mother hen saves it for me -- as does the fact that it leads directly into one of my favorite episodes, and the single best story arc of the series.
Next set of episodes is what I’m going to arbitrarily call “okay! but like the good kind of okay, not the bad kind.”
45. Bonjour Bonquisha (Season 2, episode 7)
Max and Sasha masterminding a scheme is really fun; their dynamic is great (though it won’t be fully realized until Season 4), and heartbroken David is so tragically cute it actually makes my heart explode out of my chest.
Also I can’t resist a good “3 kids in a trench coat” gag.
44. Anti-Social Network (Season 2, episode 2)
Neil is very relatable and I don’t have much else to say about this one. It’s fun to see an episode that more heavily focuses on our nerdy science boy, and Max and Neil teaming up to save Nikki was really charming and sweet and set my Makkiel ship out to sea.
43. A Camp Camp Christmas, or Whatever (Season 2 holiday episode)
Why does this episode have a musical number? It’s not good.
Okay, that was mean. This is fun and cute and Gwen wears a pretty purple sweatshirt and Space Kid gives her a present and it’s really sweet. But that musical number is an instant fast-forward for me, sorry.
42. Preston Goodplay's Good Play (Season 4, episode 7)
We get some Preston character development! Awesome!
It’s done in a really trippy and surreal way that totally fits his character and heightens the drama of the episode! Awesome!
David has an apparently-tragic history of being a French mime! Not a good call!
Next tier: Some good sh/it! (Tbh, these could all be put in just about any order; they might as well be one massive tie.)
41. Cookin' Cookies (Season 2, episode 11)
I love the Flower Scouts. I love Dirty Kevin. I love the idea of accidentally starting a dru/g empire. Another weird, borderline experimental one focusing on side characters, and I think it works better than “New Adventure!” because the scale of the melodrama is just so over-the-top.
The fact that this is in the bottom 20 but I have nothing but good things to say about it illustrates how dang good this show is. It’s only getting better from here, folks!
40. Romeo & Juliet II: Love Resurrected (Season 1, episode 7)
Preston is a terrible playwright. This makes sense, because he’s like 11, but he’s the kind of hilariously bad I wish I’d been as a preteen, because his play is absolutely bonkers. Max fucking with David is great, Tabii vs. Bonquisha is great, Bonquisha in general is a giant amazonian goddess and I want to be swept up into her giant arms. Neil is . . . a robot, for some reason?
So much fun!
39. Camp Cool Kidz (Season 1, episode 4)
I don’t love Ered’s characterization in this one, but there are a lot of wacky hijinks in this episode that I think make it really enjoyable. Max’s wide-eyed revolutionary naïveté is a fun change from his usual dour pessimism, and Nikki’s loyalty to Ered is both very gay and very charming. Plus we get to learn a bit more about how the camp operates (and fails to operate), and it’s a nice way to better establish the campsite as its own setting.
(Definitely think “Cool” should’ve been spelled with a K though. But whatever, I don’t write for the show.)
38. Scout's Dishonor (Season 1, episode 3)
The birth of Neeancy! The introduction of the Flower and Wood Scouts! Neil saying “cu/nt” -- one of the first and only truly shocking uses of profanity in the entire show! ZUKO!
I don’t know if my fondness for this one is rooted mostly in nostalgia or if it was actually really fun, but I enjoyed the he/ll out of it. Not as highly-rated as some other episodes mostly because it doesn’t really do anything, character or story-wise, but not every episode needs to be a massive game-changer that drowns us in feels. Sometimes it’s enough to have a fun romp, and this is very that.
37. Ered Gets Her Cool Back (Season 3, episode 2)
Awww, Ered. I have a soft spot for her, because I love the archetype of a spoiled bit/ch clearly still figuring out how to be a person and have friends. You really get the sense of her as a teenager trying to sort her shi/t out in this episode, which I would love to see more of. Her interactions with Nerris are top-tier, and I like that it’s a continuation of how her character’s been softening since Season 1 into this kind of big-sister figure.
Also, all the female campers in this show are lesbians. I do not make the rules.
36. Attack of the Nurfs (Season 4, episode 2)
I feel like this is a pretty underrated episode. But then again, I feel like Nurf is a pretty underrated character, so maybe that’s just my own personal bias.
I really enjoyed all the different iterations of Nurf, and I think Blaine did a killer job giving each one its own personality and life. It’s a fun episode that plays hard with cartoon physics (a 3D printer printing people! I love it!) and has a surprisingly moving ending.
At least, that’s what I think. Most other people seem to find this one pretty forgettable. Again: make your own da/mn list. I liked it.
35. Mascot (Season 1, episode 2)
This entire episode is memorable for so many things, but a few of my favorites:
David is established as kind of a di/ck.
Platypus arrives and kicks all the as/s.
Quartermaster is the best.
Nerris, Harrison, and Space Kid all get little moments to show off how cute they are.
Neil and Nikki bonding.
This:
34. Quest to Sleepy Peak Peak (Season 2, episode 3)
I love watching Nerris and Harrison bicker, and Neil and Nikki fit really well into their group. It reminds me of being a kid, and of playing Dungeons & Dragons (as an adult, because I’m so cool), and of summer . . . which is a really good thing for this show. There are a lot of funny one-liners, and it’s just a good dang time.
33. Quartermaster Appreciation Day (Season 2, episode 6)
I don’t think this one is all that well-loved, but I thought it was funny. There are literally zero important plot or character moments, but it made me laugh a lot, and that’s all I need a Camp Camp episode to do.
I love QM, and the more we learn about him, the more confused and disturbed we end up being. What a fu/cking champion.
32. Arrival of the Torso Takers (Season 3 Halloween episode)
I lowkey hated this one when it came out, because I knew the Daniel stans were going to be exhausting. And they kind of were? But looking back, it’s a great way to reintroduce this motherfu/cker. He’s a lot scarier than he was the last time around -- but also less competent, which is a great way to kick him in the proverbial ba/lls -- and while I wish it had a lot more Gwen in it, it’s a clever and creative Halloween episode.
31. Operation: Charlie Tango Foxtrot (Season 3, episode 10)
Charlie . . . Tango . . . Foxtrot . . . CTF . . . OH! Capture the Flag! I never got that before. Oh, that’s neat. I love this show.
Listen, every time the writers decide to take a risk and do something bizarre and creative, I’m going to be here for it at least a little bit. An entire episode told from the POV of the Woodscouts, explaining how hard they failed in all directions? A great gag where everyone in Petrol’s story talks in grunts? The return of Jermy Fartz?! Fantastic.
30. Panicked Room (Season 4, episode 16)
Listen. I’m a sucker for my trash grandpa; anything Campbell-centric is probably going to be pretty good (except #54), because he’s just one of the most consistently funny and engaging characters. Good times are had whenever this terrible man is on the screen, and giving him a romantic backstory? A tragic romantic backstory full of mistakes and emotional damage?? One where he waited 17 YEARS for the love of his life???
We have no choice but to stan.
29. Party Pooper (Season 4, episode 15)
I’m so predictable. If you put Gwen in something, I will be happy. If you make an entire episode about how Gwen is under-appreciated and overworked and just trying to do her best despite the circumstances, I will dedicate my firstborn child to you.
Anyway, this episode is really sweet, and I liked the unexpected direction the writers took her relationship with her dad. He seems like a nice guy, they seem like they have a nice relationship, and . . . well, an episode about how hard it is to be an adult millennial hit pretty hard. Plus this was just a really pretty episode -- and not just because Gwen was in so much of it! Seriously, that night sky was a thing of beauty.
Also if you say a fuc/king word about Max and that godda/mn dog I will choke you out with your own intestines. Few things are more hilariously, annoyingly ironic than the fact that the entire fandom ignored and failed to appreciate Gwen . . . in the episode all about how everyone ignores and fails to appreciate Gwen.
28. Culture Day (Season 3 holiday episode)
Now, would it be arrogant to point out that I had the idea for a Culture/Heritage Day back in September 2018? Yes, especially since I don’t think the writers ever read fanfiction and it has literally nothing to do with this episode. Will that stop me? He/ll no it will not! I am a creature of ego! Read my stuff!
Anyway, this is a really fun look at Neil’s background, personality, and relationships. Max looking out for him is just . . . oh my god, I cannot, I’ve written like 30 of these and my brain is starting to melt, but these two are so cute. I love arrogant Neil, and I love protective Max, and I love QM and Gwen fuc/king over the Flower Scouts to save the day. Everything about this episode is lovely.
27. Cameron Campbell the Camp Campbell Camper (Season 3, episode 7)
This should not be ranked so high (even if these are all essentially tied). This is a dumb episode based on a really, really dumb premise.
But . . . I don’t know what to tell you. “Samboy Kidwell,” Max realizing he and Campbell are disturbingly similar and not liking what his future could look like, David’s “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” face . . . this episode happens to hit all of my favorite things. It had a really good balance of heavy-handed moralizing and goofs, it was part of the most graceful lead-up into a finale the show has ever had, and I’m just all about it.
Excellent job, Samboy. Count Olaf would be proud of your disguise.
There ends the “some good sh/it” tier. We’re starting to get into the really excellent stuff now!
26. Parents' Day (Season 2, episode 12)
I know. You want this to be higher. I hear you.
Honestly I’m kind of shocked it’s this high; it’s my least favorite of the season finales so far, and I had to push past a lot of prejudice to actually rank this where I think it deserves to be, as opposed to somewhere in the like mid-40s. Mostly because it gave fuel to the raging inferno of “Max has terrible parents and David should adopt him” headcanons, which I’ve detailed my problems with extensively in the past (in a post that, statistically speaking, none of you have read).
But, trying to be objective: is this episode actually any good?
Well . . . yeah, it really is.
So much work was put into giving each of the campers families that make sense with their characters and bounce absurdly well off of them, ranging from wholesome and adorable (Nerris’s family) to quietly tragic (Harrison’s parents), and they’re all designed so well; they’re fun to look at and fun to watch interact with the kids and each other. (The only exception is Dolph’s dad, who is both kinda lame and misattributes the cause of the weird Na/zi thing because it did not come from Germany, I assure you. But things with Dolph are always a little off, and I don’t really know how you would give him a backstory that actually works with the character, so they were caught between a rock and a hard place there.)
The drama of David having to choose between the man he considers his father and the camp he considers his home is really touching, and him and Gwen choosing to take a sad camper out to get pizza instead of covering for their boss’s a/ss is such a beautiful moment for both of them that I can’t really blame the fandom for losing their mind over it. Campbell’s arrest leading into the arcs of the next two seasons was great as well, and the finale left us all with this weird sense of foreboding because we didn’t know what was going to happen next; it was the only finale that actually ended on something close to a cliffhanger, while still being satisfying enough to keep us all from melting down.
Plus, it’s funny. Carl and Candy are really funny and the idea of Neil and Nikki’s parents boning is funny in a horrible way. The joke about Quartersister is funny. It’s a good episode.
Should this be higher? Maybe, but I can’t bring myself to put it above the rest of these episodes. Again: make your own list.
25. Mind Freakers (Season 1, episode 10)
The episode that launched a thousand ships. Assuming those ships are all Harrison/Neil, anyway.
It’s hard to talk about these Season 1 episodes because they feel so classic. Like, what is there to say? You’ve all seen it a couple dozen times; I’ve seen it a couple dozen times. Harrison is a di/ck, Neil is possibly an even bigger di/ck, and magic may or may not be real. (Though spoilers for literally every season: yes, magic is definitely real.) It’s so much fun watching these two smug as/sholes snipe at each other in an almost literal playground hair-pulling way that could very easily be read as flirtation.
And the fandom did most certainly read it that way, at least for a little while.
24. Gwen Gets a Job (Season 2, episode 8)
It’s Gwen. What, was I supposed to not put it this high?
This was the first Gwen-centric episode, and it absolutely slaps. She’s pushed to the breaking point and responds by being a cold-hearted BAMF, and it got her some pretty significant hate from fans but I don’t give a fu/ck, I loved it. We got to see her all dolled up, and then we got to see her all disheveled, and both of those looks were gorgeous. David gives her a tiny fragment of the love and validation she deserves (I don’t know if this is when gwenvid started taking off -- I think it wasn’t really until “Parents’ Day,” or even Season 3 -- but I ate that s/hit up).
Also, again: job hunting post-2008. It’s a bad time, y’all. Camp Camp gets it.
23. Follow the Leader (Season 4, episode 6)
Yeah, I was kind of surprised at how high this landed, too. I guess I’m just a sucker for unlikely companionships, and these three have a great chemistry. The combination of competitiveness, sass, and reluctant admiration make their interactions a lot of fun. Their motivation of doing petty errands for Campbell for the sake of getting at the Box of Illegal Contraband is a great framework too, with high enough stakes to justify all sorts of wacky shenanigans without causing actual anxiety.
I want to see these characters forced to spend more time together. Please, RT, make that happen.
22. Escape from Camp Campbell (Season 1, episode 1)
In terms of numbers, this feels so low, but considering everything from about #45 on is ranked as at least decent, this is actually a pretty high rating. There are 21 episodes I’d call better than this, but these decisions were all pretty painful.
This introduces us to everyone! The main trio, the counselors, Mr. Campbell; we get a snapshot of the major personalities running around the camp, the major points of conflict (Max vs. David, primarily), the major building blocks of future episodes, setting, and relationships . . .
Again, I don’t know how much of my love for this episode is nostalgia -- there’s a lot of squeeing at familiar faces and gags; this is the first time David gets hit by a bus!!! -- but it was a fun and funny introduction to a series that’s ended up being so important to me, and I’m so grateful this wonderful, quirky little show with its wonderful and quirky little premiere.
Of all the episodes, I really can’t look at this one objectively. It’s too important.
21. The Fun-Raiser (Season 3, episode 1)
David and Gwen scheming is my ki/nk. They very rarely scheme together, but every single time their teamwork makes the dream work (or, more frequently, makes the dream fail horribly and have disastrous consequences) my soul flies out of my body and takes to the stars, where I write another 500 first chapters to gwenvid fanfics I’ll probably never finish.
This is a great follow-up to “Parents’ Day,” where we immediately see the consequences of the previous season finale and what happens when the one adult in the camp disappears. Mr. Campbell was a terrible adult, true, but at least he was smart enough not to steal QM’s hook. Like . . . whose plan was this? It was so bad. These two are hilariously incompetent sometimes -- often when their bad ideas are feeding off of each other, actually, a la this and “Space Camp Was a Hoax” -- and watching them frantically try and keep all their balls in the air is so great.
The ending is satisfying, too; a bit graphic, in keeping with a show that tends to keep the violence limited to periodic spurts of bloodshed 1-2 times a season and mostly pretty mild the rest of the time, but between Max stepping up and fixing everything while still being his shi/tty self to our dear dumba/ss counselors getting their dumb as/ses handed to them (deservedly so, if we’re being honest) . . . it’s such a great note to begin a new season on.
20. Journey to Spooky Island (Season 1, episode 5)
A classic.
We get to meet our spooky boy Jasper, we get to watch the comedy trio play off each other and continue to sketch out the general contours of their friendship, and we get to see the Quartermaster with a big purple dil/do for a hand. What’s not to love?
19. The Butterfinger Effect (Season 4, episode 17)
CONTROVERSIAL HOT TAKES! GET YOUR CONTROVERSIAL HOT TAKES HERE!
I’ve already gone into some pretty intense detail about why I think this one is actually really good and carries the theme of embracing change that everything about Season 4 was centered around, but none of y’all read that so here it is in short: this episode is super funny, almost all of the campers’ transformations work really well as extensions of their characters while still being strange and surprising, and the fact that Nurf creates all of these problems by trying to solve them is deliciously fun to watch in a karmic sort of way.
Or maybe it’s just because any Nurf-centric episode is going to rank pretty highly for me. That is also possible.
18. Space Camp Was a Hoax (Season 2, episode 10)
Our camp counselors being bad people: it’s my drug of choice.
We get Space Kid tripping balls in what might be one of the funniest sequences in the show, the entire camp coming together to try and pull off the stupidest, most impossible task (and kinda maybe almost nailing it???), and once again the fun of watching Gwen and David scramble to keep from getting caught in their boss’s shit/ty lies is so great. And Lindsay’s voice acting is absolutely killer, even more so than usual.
17. Jermy Fartz (Season 2, episode 4)
I get the sense this might be a somewhat controversial one.
I’ve written before about why I think this episode is a lot of fun, but it mostly boils down to two things: watching the campers try (and fail) to be nice to the most bully-able person on the entire planet, and the essential likeableness of Jermy.
No, really.
I think a lot of people were put off by Jermy’s general grossness, because . . . my god is he disgusting, but he’s also polite and good-natured, and seems totally self aware of how difficult he is to be around, without letting it make him depressed. He’s cheerful in a weirdly downbeat way that’s impossible to understand until you see him in action. He’s so matter-of-fact about his own awfulness in a way that I found entirely endearing. I don’t think I’d want him at my camp, either, but get that kid to a good dermatologist and gastroenterologist, teach him some basic hygiene and social skills, and you’ll have quite a little gentleman there.
I do however find it hilarious that apparently David got the type of tree wrong when making fun of Jermy. Not only is that a great moment for reveling in David being an as/shole, but he didn’t even have the right wood. F/ucking idiot. I love him so much.
These last ones are my favorites! (Well, duh, that’s how this whole ranking thing works.) Maybe not perfect, but just really good and with limitless rewatch value.
16. St. Campbell's Day (Season 4 holiday episode)
They Grinch’d Camp Camp. Those brilliant bast/ards, they really pulled it off.
Ignoring the fact that David is truly frightening-looking for most of the episode, this is a great bookend to Season 4, following up on the theme established in the first episode about how David is a flawed and selfish human being despite trying his best not to be.
This is another one I was surprised to find so high on the list, but the more I thought about it the more I realizes how good it is. David being a jerk is always one of my favorite storylines, and the fact that the trouble comes from him trusting Mr. Campbell too little instead of too much is a nice twist on the usual formula. Gwen coming to help him out despite a blistering hangover gave me aggressive shipping feels, yes, obviously.
Between a lot of really funny little gags like QM’s failed satanic ritual and the genuinely touching moral about the importance of spending time with the people you love, it’s just a really lovely episode that gets just the right amount of maudlin for the holiday season.
15. Jasper Dies at the End (Season 2, episode 5)
I kept switching this and “Dial M for Jasper”; it was a really difficult decision to make, figuring out where these two belonged. I think in the end, while the John Dies at the End reference was very, very good, this one loses me a little bit by being told from David’s perspective. Now, normally the more David is in an episode the more I’ll be likely to love it (see my #1 for proof of that), but his blinders when it comes to the camp and Mr. Campbell result in a really funny story, but one without the same emotional heft as hearing about what happened from Jasper’s point of view.
That doesn’t mean it’s not perfect for what it needs to be: each Jasper episode builds on the previous ones, and having the same intensity of “Dial M for Jasper,” where we learn how he died and how his relationship with David fell apart, would be weird and heavy at this point. In Season 1 we just found out he’s a ghost (and eagle-eyed viewers realized he’d been a camper with David); in Season 2 we find out how David views their friendship and time at camp; and in Season 3 we get Jasper’s perspective. It’s an absolutely wonderful raising of the stakes (for lack of a better term), but the one that packs more of an emotional punch is going to rank a bit higher than the one that’s mostly just for laughs.
That being said: there are plenty of laughs in this one. Everyone -- Griffin, Miles, Travis, the animators -- nailed this one, and it gets funnier every time I watch it.
14. Camporee (Season 1, episode 11)
AKA the episode where Forest realized she was in love with Gwen.
What a great idea for an episode, seriously. Every coming-of-age story has a talent show or a competition or a big game -- something where the kiddos can show off their improved skills and teamwork to beat their bullies or whatever. And this show has both kinds of bullies: the popular girly girls and the violent muscleheads. What a great moment to pull everyone together and show how friendship can help us accomplish anything!
Except . . . of course that’s not what happens. Of course they’re absolute garbage, and of course teamwork isn’t the answer. Gwen is the perfect foil for David here, being the anti-teamwork, anti-Camp-Campbell adult who can perfectly and effortlessly undermine David’s relentless optimism. David wants so badly for his campers to live in the same coming-of-age summer movie he did as a child, and their staunch refusal to do that leads to a really heartbreaking closer to the episode, as well as lead into the next one. Everything about this, from the challenges to the setup to Gwen shouting “we are winning this FUC/KING trophy!” is just gold.
13. David Gets Hard (Season 1, episode 9)
We have David. We have Nurf. We have Gwen. We have Max trying to be helpful in the shi/ttiest way possible.
We have all the makings of a da/mn good episode. And they deliver. Not a very emotionally intense or moving one, but so, so funny.
12. Dial M for Jasper (Season 3, episode 5)
This isn’t the fate any of us expected for Jasper, and it’s not the fate of a lot of people wanted. But godda/mn it, it worked. The constant bait-and-switch the episode keeps playing with, where you keep waiting for something really dramatic and tragic to happen . . . and then the reality is that Jasper died because Mr. Campbell was stupid and careless, and it was all just a horribly sad accident.
It’s anticlimactic, but in a way that suits the series, both as a comedic counterpoint to all the hype throughout the episode and as a way to establish that Cameron Campbell is a bad man first and foremost through selfishness and laziness, not Daniel-esque sinister evil. Jasper’s death was totally avoidable and totally Campbell’s fault, and while that’s sad, it also adds a weird sort of lightness to the episode. David didn’t do something terrible to kill his best friend, Jasper didn’t kill himself, and without having actively chosen to murder a child (well, not this time), the door remains open for fans accepting Campbell’s later pseudo-redemption. It was just an accident, and Jasper was “haunting” David to tell him that he was sorry for how their friendship ended. That’s really sweet, actually.
I think it’s the best way this reveal could’ve gone, and I’m so impressed with how they pulled it all off.
11. Into Town (Season 1, episode 8)
This might actually be the only flawless episode in the entire show. I mean, I call a lot of them flawless, and I mean that on an emotional level -- “I love this so much I cannot see anything wrong with it” -- but this one is a masterpiece of storytelling. All the technical jumbo I’m bad at, like planting and payoff and tension and all of that, is just perfect.
I feel like this is the kind of claim that needs to be backed up with a long-as/s essay full of citations and video clips and references to, like, Joseph Campbell or something, but this is my 49th entry in the list so I am not going to be doing that. Besides, I don’t think my English degree qualifies me to critique film/animation; I don’t even entirely know half the terms I’ve used to compliment this episode. Someone else please explain why this is such a good one.
10. The Quarter-Moon Convergence (Season 4, episode 5)
I’ve mentioned in other entries that the weird, surreal humor sometimes doesn’t work; it feels too much like being odd for its own sake, and sometimes gets so distracted in being surreal that it forgets to include anything funny or meaningful.
This . . . is not one of those.
Putting Harrison and QM together is a stroke of genius; the two of them are literally the most magical beings in the entire show, and using them as the conveyance for this great Lovecraftian horror-comedy was such a good idea. I don’t know if we’ll ever see these two interact in another episode -- honestly, this felt a bit like lightning in a bottle, and I have a hard time imagining what could possibly bring them together again -- but if this is the only episode we get, it is such a fantastic one.
Harrison makes a really good everyman, despite his powers; he’s just the right amount of confident and insecure to pull off that wide-eyed apprentice to QM’s grizzled wise mentor. (The fact that QM is objectively a terrible mentor is beside the point.) I still don’t entirely know what the two of them accomplished, but it feels baffling and momentous, with the perfect amount of gravity to make things extremely tense all the way through to the end.
Also, I guess God is an octopus? That’s kinda cool. I like octopuses.
9. Camp Corp. (Season 3, episode 12)
Another unpopular opinion? Oh ho ho, I am so contrary! I am Not Like Other Fans! I am the Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, refusing to have the same opinions of all you prepz.
I know this wasn’t the most well-loved episode, but I think it did a really great job tying together story threads woven throughout Season 3: Max’s selfishness leading to him hurting other people, his growing realization that he cares about his friends and the camp itself, the parallels between him and Mr. Campbell (and the fact that they both get this redemption moment in the finale).
This is the most Max-centric season, focusing on his flaws and character growth, and they pulled it off in a really organic way that felt faithful to his character, touching without being too maudlin. The fact that his feelings about the camp are echoed in Gwen, Neil and Nikki, the other campers, and even Mr. Campbell drives home how important the camp -- and David -- are to this strange little family.
Each season, Max reluctantly becomes a better person, without changing the fundamental core of who he is. That’s a really hard putt for the writers and Michael, and I’m blown away every finale by how they so consistently nail it.
8. Time Crapsules (Season 4, episode 18)
Gwen-centric? Check.
Max learning how to be a better person while still being the bratty kid we know and love? Check.
Looks at one of the most under-appreciated character dynamics in the entire show (i.e., Max and Gwen)? Checkity check-check-check.
I don’t really have much to say about this one, which I should: it was considered a pretty serious letdown to a lot of fans, and I’m not sure how to explain why I loved it so much.
Comparing Max from “The Order of the Sparrow” to Max from this episode is wild. It’s not like 2 different characters: they’re still very obviously the same cynical, self-absorbed 10-year-old trying to survive summer camp. But he’s become a more considerate friend and decent version of that kid, and it’s great to watch. The moment where he and Gwen go too far and immediately regret snapping at each other is still painful (on my god, the VAs in this show, they’re so talented), Nikki and Neil both get nice subplots about how they’re also growing up, and the ending is fuc/king hilarious, perfectly breaking the tension from Campbell’s speech, which is both beautifully done and important to hear, especially if you’re in a period of uncomfortable transition (like, say, in your late 20s, or living through about 5 different national and global catastrophes).
And okay, I found that speech on the wiki for this episode and it made me deeply emotional, so here:
Here's the thing: you've got to take your failures and make something out of them. Take Camp Campbell for instance: a lot of poor decisions went into making this place what it is today. Sure, somewhere along the line it maybe strayed from its path, not living up to the camp it wanted to be. At some point, the camp realized that the camp would never reach the end of its path until it was ready or until it gave up. So, if the camp wanted to keep embezzling money and dealing with foreign powers, so be it! But, at some point, it didn't anymore. I never saw this coming, but I'm starting to think this camp is the best it's ever been.
If this is the last episode of Camp Camp we ever get -- and for at least a little while, it looks like it’s going to be -- I can’t think of a sweeter, funnier, and more lovely bittersweet note for this show to go out on.
7. The Lake Lilac Summer Social (Season 3, episode 6)
And again: No one was surprised.
This is the longest non-finale episode of the show, and it uses that time perfectly. Rather than having some big emotional moments and character arcs -- which are great, don’t get me wrong -- the writers use the extended time to build a series of shenanigans as complicated as Gwen’s matchmaking web, and watching her try to set up a series of dominos (with David, for once, being the responsible, level-headed one) is almost as satisfying as the catastrophic results.
Neil and Snake steal this episode, even from someone as in love with Gwen as I am, and for an episode that’s largely about making fun of shippers, there hasn’t been one that launched nearly as many ships as this. Neil/Snake? Tabii/Erin? Max/Nikki? GWENVID?! It’s all here, and I am here for it.
It was also fun to get a traditional episode setup in a very non-traditional show. I assume this means the beach and/or hot springs episode is forthcoming. (No, Pis/s Lake doesn’t count. Obviously it doesn’t count.)
6. Keep the Change (Season 4, episode 1)
Again, this is an episode I’ve said a lot about in the past -- and I was pretty uncharitable toward Season 3, which in retrospect was very unse/xy of me -- but I stand by a lot of my opinions then: this is a fu/cking great episode.
David is an as/shole, Max is an as/shole, Campbell is an as/shole. No one escapes the as/sholery. David schemes, Max catches him in the scheme, Campbell gets drunk and kind of gay . . . I’m 54 entries into this list and I don’t have much to say anymore: it’s just really good and fun and I love it.
5. Camp Loser Says What? (Season 4, episode 9)
This is another one I kind of hated when it came out, and again for fandom-related and personal-grudge reasons.
Fu/cking Daniel. That motherfu/cker. He shows up for 12 minutes and Tumblr bursts into flames. Every single time.
However, it’s really hard not to love this one. Daniel-as-Trump is a clever but subtle -- I mean, for this show’s definition of subtle -- allegory, and it’s amazing how much this slimy freak and the Woodscouts slot into it. David is a bise/xual disaster with the absolute worst taste in men, Dirty Kevin and Daniel are onscreen together for all of 2.5 seconds and the kevdan shippers lost their minds, and Xemug looks like Megamind for some weird reason.
My only minor complaint is that the ending is a bit anticlimactic, but it plays on Daniel’s stupidity and the value of teamwork, so it’s a very small nitpick in an episode that mostly works like gangbusters.
4. Cult Camp (Season 2, episode 1)
Duh. There’s a really good song and we’re introduced to a charismatic, sinister, and totally dumba/ss villain. What’s not to like?
I don’t think I even need to say anything about this episode. Season 2 started off the summer by throwing a lit firecracker directly at the viewer’s face, and ignoring the fact that we as a fandom proceeded to eat each other, it’s impossible not to get caught up in the episode’s wild energy.
And dude, that song. Fabulous. Fu/ck Daniel, but thank god he’s around to be such a prickly little pri/ck.
Now for the top 3: Literally perfect, wouldn’t change a single solitary thing.
3. After Hours (Season 4, episode 8)
I’m not sure anyone loved this episode as much as me. But this is my list, and I will put this up at the top if I want to and you cannot stop me.
It’s much easier in a lot of ways to talk about the episodes I hated than the ones I love this much. What do I say besides “literally everything about this fills me with joy and my life is better because it exists”? I don’t know. The counselors are my favorite characters, and between Gwen and QM having the weirdest bonding experience, Gwen getting to meet up with people who care about her silly fanfiction, Mr. Campbell being the trash grandpa of my dreams, David getting in way over his head . . . it’s the episode I always wanted, and they made it work so well.
Also, I just discovered that “Gwen Isn’t Your Mother So Stop Asking Her to Rinse Your Dishes” is an actual song and I am overwhelmed with delight. Here, I’m embedding it as well as linking because it’s so good:
youtube
God. This show. What the fu/ck even is up with this amazing, weird-as/s show.
2. The Order of the Sparrow (Season 1, episode 12)
Duh.
The entire first season is a great time (except “Reigny Day”), but it’s a pretty low-stakes kind of great time. There isn’t much in terms of emotional depth until the very end of “Camporee,” despite some hints at darker themes in one-off jokes and quick asides, so this episode comes a bit out of left field, tonally speaking.
But that’s not a bug, it’s a feature; if the show had been this overtly emotional from the outset, this finale wouldn’t hit as hard, and the rest of the season wouldn’t be as funny.
This manages to serve as a capstone to the conflict of the first season, building on episodes like “Into Town” and “Escape from Camp Campbell” in a way that feels totally natural for both David and Max’s characters while revealing new sides of them. It works because it’s so unexpected, but it doesn’t come across as incongruous with their personalities. It’s the first and only time David swears in all 4 seasons, and that line -- I don’t even need to say it, you know exactly what I’m talking about -- still gives me chills.
Also, Gwen sings the camp theme song. Impossible not to cherish.
1. The Forest (Season 4, episode 12)
I’m not sure if this one is a surprise or not. It might be the obvious first place, or it might be a bit of an oddball for some people.
I had a really hard time choosing between this and “The Order of the Sparrow”; I switched their places half a dozen times, and the difference in quality between the two is razor-thin. I think part of that is because it accomplishes a lot of what “Order of the Sparrow” does: puts David in a situation where he’s pushed to his absolute emotional and physical capacity, crushes every shred of hope he has left, and sees what he’s actually made of when you strip everything away. It’s much more dramatic this time around, but it’s the same basic concept.
And just like in the Season 1 finale, what we see is a man who’s determined to do good even when he isn’t rewarded for it, even when he’s actively punished for it. Who wants to love nature, and life, and make the world a better place -- despite his faults, his selfishness and thoughtlessness and anger, David proves that he is fundamentally kind. He’s not nearly as deludedly optimistic as he seems; he just refuses to stop trying.
Because somebody fuc/king has to.
I’ll admit, some of what puts this one in first place is that I’m a sucker for whump, and David really goes through the ringer. However, I also think it’s important to acknowledge the risk Joe Nicolosi took with writing this episode: it’s all centered around a single character, it’s darker and more viscerally bloody than any other episode in the show’s history, the art is focused on these grand sweeping backgrounds that must’ve taken forever to paint, and there’s very little talking in a show that runs 99% on clever dialogue. This could have so easily backfired -- and for some fans it did -- but it was brave and beautiful and breathtaking.
I’ve actually only watched this in full once. It’s really hard to get through; it’s just so intense and even disturbing. But if there’s one episode I'll remember for the rest of my life, even when I’m 80 years old and haven’t seen the show in years, it’ll be “The Forest.”
It’s funny how such a sharp departure from the format and style of the rest of the show somehow manages to perfectly capture the heart of it. Talk about a fuc/king achievement.
So what have we learned?
I don’t entirely know what the purpose of this whole exercise was. I think it was mostly to get myself a nice Camp Camp fix that came from something other than slogging through 20 different fanfic WIPs, and to remind myself of what a strange and fun ride the last 4 summers have been.
I also wanted to take a moment to acknowledge what Camp Camp means to me. This show has been hugely important to me on a personal level: I met two of my best friends through this fandom, and I’ve never been more connected to a community or readers than I have with CC. I know I bi/tch about this fandom a lot, but it’s a big extended internet family, and I’m so happy to be a part of it. Going through all these episodes, getting the chance to ramble about the things I liked and the things I didn’t, was a great way to reconnect with a series and community that I love.
So . . . what have we learned?
1. Season 4 was all over the place.
Some of this has to be due to the sheer volume of episodes, but when I sat down and organized everything into tiers:
There isn’t a single category Season 4 doesn’t have at least one episode in. I was surprised to see how high a lot of them ended up; it really was the best and worst of the show so far.
For the fun of it, I decided to give a number to each placement -- 60 points for the #1 episode, 59 for #2, etc. -- and see how each season broke down. Because that’s that kind of thing I think is worthwhile, apparently. And . . .
2. Seasons 1 and 4 are really good, actually.
Well, I don’t think anyone’s surprised to see how well Season 1 stacked up; it was amazing. But I was surprised to see how much I ended up enjoying Seasons 3 and 4, when if you’d asked me before this little project, I would’ve said they were the most underwhelming. Maybe I messed up the numbers a bit -- I’m no mathmagician -- but not only are they all really close, but Season 4 was one of my favorites.
3. This entire show is really good, actually.
One thing that really struck me when I put it all together visually is how most of the episodes sit in the “good,” “really good,” or “amazing” categories. The amount of episodes that are memorable, fun, and/or emotionally resonant is crazy. I don’t now how many other tiny cult-hit web series can say the same, honestly, and all of the writers, animators, directors/producers/other people whose jobs I don’t really understand, and voice actors should be commended for their outstanding talent and hard work.
4. Thank you, Camp Camp.
It was a real pleasure to relive all of these episodes again and think about what they meant to me. It won’t be the last time I sit down and watch this show -- and it certainly won’t be the end of my being a shrieking fangirl over it -- but with this break, where we have to get through a blazing, extremely difficult summer without a new season to fawn over, it’s nice to stop and appreciate what a precious gem of a show this is.
I hope everyone involved with Rooster Teeth is taking a much-deserved rest and prioritizing their health and well-being. Thank you for creating something truly special, and I can’t wait to see what happens next.
#campcamp#camp camp roosterteeth#thank you RT Animation for giving me my life these past 4 years#cc david#cc max#cc gwen#i'm not tagging all the characters#campcamp masterpost#i really hope this doesn't get hidden from the tags but#guys this was a super intense labor of love please check it out#but also reading it is also a super intense labor so i get it if you don't XD
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Best Friends Baby (11)
Previous Parts: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10
Words: 2.6K
Warnings:None
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May 21st, 2019
28 weeks
“You made it to your third trimester!” The doctor exclaimed as you and Namjoon sat in the doctor's office.
“I feel huge.” You comment, watching your baby girl on the screen in front of everyone.
“If it helps you’re huge for a good reason.” Namjoon comments, you look over at him and gently hit his arm, smiling fondly at his comment.
Being seven months pregnant has truly taken a toll on your body in more ways than one. You’re more tired during the day and your back constantly hurts whether you’re sitting up or laying down.
“She may be a good reasoning, but I feel like she’s pressing on my lungs.” You point out.
“That is normal, it may feel like that for the next few months. Luckily for you, she is very healthy and everything looks good. You’re making good progress.” The doctor says as she hands you a paper towel to wipe the gel off of your stomach.
Namjoon helps you sit up on the table and rubs your back when you wince in pain.
“Have you two thought of any names for her yet?” The doctor asks the both of you.
“You know, that is one thing we haven’t thought of yet.” Namjoon looks down at you and you nod your head in return.
“There’s no rush, you still have about two months left, so there’s plenty of time to choose. How about the nursery?”
“We have a crib and that’s the farthest we’ve gotten. We’re actually planning on finishing it up this weekend.” You informed her, Namjoon nods in agreement.
“That sounds like a good bonding experience for you two. And what about a birthing plan? That is one of the most important things for expecting mothers.”
“I want to give birth at home. I’m familiar with the environment and it is a much cheaper alternative. My best friend is also a certified doula so someone I trust will help me deliver the baby. “ You tell the doctor, and she writes the information on her chart.
“That sounds like a good plan. Well everything seemed good, continue taking your prenatal vitamins, walking every few days, and staying hydrated to try and keep cool during these hot months. Unless you guys have any more questions, you’re free to go.” She stands up and you both wave goodbye as you leave the room.
“So what’s first on our list?” Namjoon asks, looking down at you.
“We need to go by the baby store and get the changing table and pick up the rocking chair as well. Then go back to your house to set everything up.” He reads the list from his phone as you both walk to his car.
“That is going to be exciting but tiring.” You admit, making your way inside of the car.
“Very true, but it’ll be so worth it.” He reassures you and you smile at his statement.
“Speaking of rooms, how will that work out when she’s born? I know you and Jimin are together, but as her father I need to be there to help.” Namjoon said, not yet starting the car.
“You know, I haven’t thought of that. You’re right, you’re her father and you need to be there. Jimin and I aren’t living together anyways so it wouldn’t be weird.” You tell him and he releases a breath of air.
“Nervous much?” You chuckle and put on your seat belt.
“Well yeah, I didn’t want to potentially start an argument.” He copies your action and starts the car.
“What does Naomi think about this?” You ask quietly.
“I wouldn’t know.” He responds, you raise an eyebrow in confusion.
“We broke up almost a week ago.” He says before you can respond.
“Namjoon! Why didn’t you say something earlier?” You exclaim, staring at him while he keeps his eyes on the road.
“I don’t know, I just felt as though not everyone needed to know.” He says, shrugging it off.
“Nah, that’s not it. You just didn’t want me to say I told you so.” You cross your arms as a smug smirk appears on your face.
“Okay, and?” He asks quietly and you laugh while shaking your head.
“Well for starters, I told you so. Second of all, you are my best friend and you should have come to me.” You look over at him and he looks back at you when he comes to a red light.
“I know, I’m trying, I promise I will get better at telling you things.” He gives you a smile and you match his expression.
You two continue to stare at one another in silence, your eyes make their way down to Namjoon's lips and you suddenly wonder what they would feel like against your own.
“Shit green light.” Namjoon says, pulling you out of your thoughts. He turns back to the road and starts driving again.
You sit back in your seat and cradle your stomach when the baby starts to kick, you look out the window and close your eyes, trying to clear your head and forget about what you were thinking.
“Everything okay?” Namjoon asks with a tone of concern in his voice.
“Yeah she’s just kicking.” You respond, still trying to clear your mind.
You open your eyes when you feel a large, warm hand on your stomach. When you look at Namjoon his eyes are still on the road, one hand on the steering wheel and the other comforting your anxious child.
“My mom said when I would kick a lot, my dad would rub her stomach and it helped calm me down.” He explains to you, briefly turning his head to smile at you.
“It worked.” You say quietly, in awe of how his method worked, and his hand still on your stomach.
“I knew it would.” He chuckles and rubs soothing circles over your stomach. You look down and smile at his hand on your bump. You set your hand on top of his and go back to looking out of the window.
“Sleepy?” He asks.
“No, just thinking.” You respond, the rest of the car ride is filled with small talk, the radio, and Namjoon's hand protecting your daughter's temporary home.
_______________________
“What if we named her Jamie?” Namjoon asks.
When the two of you make it back to the apartment, you order dinner and start choosing names in order to pass the time.
“Cute, it’s a maybe. What about Eden?” He raises an eyebrow and shakes his head.
“What’s wrong with Eden?” You ask, crossing your arms and getting defensive.
Namjoon laughs loudly at your reaction and writes it down on the piece of paper in front of him.
“Nothing, it’s on the list now since you like it.” He looks at you and you playfully roll your eyes at him.
“What about Leilani, it’s Hawaiian for heavenly flowers.” Namjoon informs you and you take the pencil from him and write it down.
“Glad we came to an agreement.” He says and you giggle.
“How about Elena? Like the Disney princess.” You suggest and he shrugs his shoulders.
“Maybe.” He puts it in a separate section on the piece of paper.
“I got it! Do you like the name Juniper? Her nickname can be Juni.” Namjoon smiles proudly and writes that down before you can object.
“Well alright then, I think we can stop now.” You reassure him and place the pad on the coffee table.
“We should probably talk about this co-parenting thing more in depth” You remind him and he nods in understanding.
“I thought about this in the car and I think that when I’m officially 9 months you should move in with me, there’s more space for us here, it’s the same commute time from here to your job, and it would be nice to have you around when she does finally get here.’ You explain and watch as he takes in all of the information.
“I’m okay with that too, have you talked to Jimin about it?” Namjoon asks and you look away from him clearing your throat.
“And why haven’t you told him?” Namjoon sits back on the couch and looks over at you.
You gently fall back onto the cushions and shrug your shoulders in response to his question.
“I don’t know, I’m just nervous I guess.” You look at him and he laughs at your response.
“Jimin is such a chill person, I know if you’re honest with him then everything is going to be just fine.” Namjoon calms you down and gently pats your hand.
You feel your body start to calm down at the feeling of your hand under his larger one, you sigh out in relaxation and close your eyes.
The moment your body begins to relax, your phone starts to ring and you jolt up quickly, grabbing it immediately.
“Oh it’s just Jimin, Jesus Christ.” You check the caller ID, and slow your breathing.
“You’re going to scare yourself half to death.” Namjoon rubs your stomach when the baby's kicks become more frequent and shakes his head.
“Oh hush, hey Chim what’s up?” You answer the phone and sit back on the couch.
“Hello beautiful, are you busy? I have time off and was wondering if you wanted to spend that time together.” He says and you look over at Namjoon, who’s slowly falling back asleep while rubbing your stomach.
“Namjoon and I are hanging out right now. We were supposed to paint her room, but started thinking of baby names. Now we’re waiting for dinner.” You inform him.
“Oh, I see. Parenting things, well don’t let me interrupt. You let me know when you’re available and I’ll be here.” You can see his smile in your mind and it brings a small smile to your face.
“That sounds perfect Jimin, I’ll let you know my schedule, have a goodnight.” You both say your goodbyes and you disconnect the call.
You look down at Namjoon and run your fingers through his soft strands of hair. You let out a small breath of air and continue to watch him.
“I can feel you staring.” Namjoon mumbles, making himself more comfortable in your lap.
“How do you know when I ‘m looking at you?” You ask, completely in shock.
“We’ll just call it my dad's senses.” He turns so that he’s looking up at you over your bump.
“This is such an unflattering angle, why are you looking at me like that.” You look away from him and he sits up swiftly.
“You do not have unflattering angles, be nice to yourself.” He pokes your nose and you gently hit his arm.
“I know my angles Joon.” You point a finger at him in a playful manner.
“And I know your angles too, how do you think she got here?” Namjoon asks, pointing toward your stomach.
Your eyes widen and you smack his arm in shock before you burst into a fit of laughter. Namjoon guards his arm and laughs along with you.
“You are absolutely awful Joon!” You exclaim, wiping a tear from your eye as your laughter dies down.
“I try my hardest.”
When your laughter completely stops you two look up at each other simultaneously.
“It’s to have you back in my life.” You confess.
“I hated not talking to you, I couldn’t stand being upset with you. It just didn’t feel right.” He replies, you nod in agreement.
“For the sake of our relationship, and more importantly the baby. Let’s never do that again.” You hold out your pinky finger.
Namjoon mimics your action and links his pinky around your own, you both lean in and kiss your fingers. You both keep eye contact with one another as your lips touch your fingers, and they follow as you both move away.
You reluctantly let go of his fingers and clear your throat, you once again try and clear your head of the feelings and urges in your head.
“Our food should be here soon, I should go and check on it.” He stands up quickly and clears his throat.
As you watch him walk away, you try to resist the urge to ask him your burning question, but you just can’t resist.
“Namjoon, why did you and Naomi actually break up?” You stand up slowly and walk over to him.
“T-the food is almost here, I need to-” He begins to stutter and tries to turn around but you gently hold his wrist in your hands.
“Is it my fault?” You ask, concern clear in your voice.
“No! No of course not. Why would you say something so silly?” He asks.
“Then why aren’t you two together. And you better not lie to me either. We promised one another that we would be more honest. How come the two of you broke up?” You look up at him and wait for an answer.
He looks down at you and sighs in defeat when he sees that you are not going to give up.
“When we sit down and eat, I’ll tell you. Is that okay with you?’ He walks to the front door after the doorbell rings to go get your food.
You watch as he walks away and you let out a sigh, you walk into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water. You drink it down rather quickly and put the top back when you finish it, Namjoon walks into the kitchen and places the food on the counter.
“Let’s talk and eat on the back patio.” He grabs the bags of food, you bring the cups and silverware.
When you step onto your back patio your eyes are met with a beautiful scenery. The sun is setting and the sky is a gorgeous pink and orange color, with hints of purple. There’s a small breeze and the air feels comforting.
You sit across from Namjoon and hold your stomach as you look at the sky, Namjoon stops unpacking the food and takes a picture of you instead.
Your head turns at the sound of his camera and you raise an eyebrow.
“Did you just take a picture of me?” You ask.
“I have no idea what you mean, here you should eat.” He feeds you a spoonful of rice, and when you try to object your taste buds are met with a burst of flavors and spices.
“You are so lucky I like rice. Now please tell me why you and Naomi broke up” You wipe your mouth with a napkin and wait for him to answer your question.
He hands you a plate and stays silent for a while before finally answering your long waited question.
“Our feelings didn’t match.” He answers, making himself a plate.
“What does that mean?” You ask, now more confused than you were before.
He chuckles at your confusion and looks up at you, giving you a slight smirk.
“You shouldn’t date someone, especially when you think that you’ve got feelings for someone else.” He answers your question, and your mouth opens slightly.
You wipe your face and swallow your food quickly, setting the plate on the table in front of you.
“Vanessa I still have feelings for you, I know it’s wrong and it’s not fair to you or Jimin, that’s why I didn’t want to say anything.” He explains.
“But how is keeping your feelings hidden fair to you?” You sigh and take in all of this information.
“I need you to know that no matter how I feel about you, I would never come in between you and Jimin. I’m not that kind of person. I just know that I need to be there for you and the baby. And that’s what I’m going to-”
“Namjoon I think I love you.”
________________________
Click here to vote for a name for the baby!
#Namjoon#kim namjoon#kim namjoon scenario#kim namjoon scenarios#kim namjoon smut#bts kim namjoon#namjoon scenario#namjoon smut#namjoon scenarios#namjoon series#bts series#ambw#ambw scenarios#ambw scenario
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Star, March 1
You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks
Cover: Humiliated Jennifer Lopez used for money and fame by Alex Rodriguez
Page 1: Princess Eugenie and her husband Jack Brooksbank, who is a UK ambassador for George Clooney and Rande Gerber's tequila brand, welcomed a son on February 9 at London's Portland Hospital
Page 2: Contents, Robin Thicke in front of a piano at Gold Diggers studio in L.A.
Page 3: Star Shots -- Serena Williams honored late Olympic gold medalist Florence Griffith Joyner by rocking a one-legged Nike catsuit at the first day of the Australian open, Chrissy Metz brought some vibrancy to the virtual SCAD aTVFest where she discussed This Is Us and was honored with the Vanguard Award, Olivia Culpo checked out the view before heading to the Shaq Bowl in Tampa
Page 4: Inside Britney Spears' nightmare -- a shocking new documentary exposes how Britney was used and abused by people she trusted -- Britney's unable to communicate with fans directly without permission -- fans flooded Justin Timberlake's Instagram to demand an apology for what one called profiting from trashing a woman
Page 5: Facing a lawsuit from her estranged older sister has rattled Mariah Carey -- Alison Carey alleged to a NYC court that Mariah had intentionally inflicted emotional distress by writing about her in the 2020 tell-all The Meaning of Mariah Carey and Alison is seeking $1.25 million after the singer accused her of, among other things, throwing boiling hot tea on her and trying to sell a 12-year-old Mariah to a pimp -- now Mariah has become wary of even those in her inner circle and is making longtime employees re-interview for their jobs -- Mariah's always been on the paranoid side but everyone is a suspect now and she's grilling everyone from bodyguards to chefs to stylists and household staff who have been with her for years and if anyone pushes back they are shown the door -- her great fear is that people could cross over and spill secrets to the enemy because she's been caught off guard before by those she trusted
* Catching ZZZs has become a real problem for Kelly Clarkson -- between her gig as a daytime host, trying to sell homes in Nashville and Encino, and battling her ex Brandon Blackstock over custody of their two kids, she is beyond stressed and she can't sleep and nothing works; the most shut-eye she gets is two to three hours -- it's gotten so bad she's even tried hypnotherapy but her workaholic brain outwits it -- meanwhile her legal woes including a lawsuit with her husband and ex father-in-law's talent agency are getting nastier and Brandon has told her in no uncertain terms that he's not going to stop until he gets what he wants which is a ton of money and time with the kids
* She was the most loathed mother in America and now Casey Anthony wants her say -- 10 years after she was acquitted of murdering her two-year-old daughter Caylee, Casey is making a documentary about the trial and she thinks she can clear her name -- she's not looking for sympathy but she believes she's a victim too and was unfairly convicted in the public eye -- she is planning on dropping bombshells in the doc including her take on the theory that the toddler accidentally drowned in the family pool as well as shocking secrets about her own abusive upbringing but don't expect much remorse
Page 6: Just over a year after her father Kobe Bryant and sister Gianna Bryant perished in a tragic helicopter crash, Natalia Bryant who is Kobe's oldest daughter, has signed a modeling contract with IMG Models who also represent Bella Hadid and Gigi Hadid and the just signed Inauguration standout poet Amanda Gorman
* Rumer Willis was heartbroken when her months-long relationship with Armie Hammer fizzled out in December but after harrowing reports of Armie's alleged abuse of women including asking to barbecue their ribs and carry their severed toes in his pocket, Rumer is telling friends she feels lucky -- she wanted to defend him when the cannibalism stories first came out because she thought they were outrageous and now she feels badly for all of the victims and she's really grateful she didn't get caught up in the Armie nightmare
* Star Spots the Stars -- Eva Longoria, Mandy Moore, Demi Lovato, Dan Levy, Dorinda Medley
Page 8: Star Shots -- Meg Ryan wore some wide-legged trousers and a cute cap on a nature walk in Santa Barbara, Gavin Rossdale wore pink socks while playing tennis in L.A., Ciara holding six-month-old son Win during a family getaway to Hawaii
Page 9: Delilah Belle Hamlin and Love Island's Eyal Booker removed their masks for a quick street smooch during a coffee date in L.A., Sofia Richie enjoyed some PDA with shipping heir Gil Ofer in Miami
Page 12: Kate Upton doing yoga, Tia Mowry-Hardrict and her husband Cory Hardrict shared dishwashing duty after cooking at home, Robin Roberts tasted a treat on Good Morning America in New York City
Page 13: Pregnant Brittany Cartwright brought her dog along to retrieve the mail in L.A., Victoria Justice showed off her toned tummy post-workout in L.A.
Page 14: Goldie Hawn turned quality time with granddaughter Rani into a workout toting her in a backpack, Madonna and Guy Ritchie's son Rocco Ritchie waded in during a vacation in Tulum in Mexico, Lucy Hale on a stroll with her dog Elvis in L.A.
Page 16: Chris Noth put in a day's work on The Equalizer in Paterson in New Jersey, Flavor Flav and Flo Rida at The Super Glow Super Bowl kick-off party in Tampa, Bradley Cooper kept daughter Lea close as the two ran errands in NYC
Page 17: More than a week after celebrating 18 months of sobriety Lily Allen enjoyed a snack on-the-go in London, Jessica Alba lifted her son Hayes while riding scooters with husband Cash Warren in Beverly Hills
Page 18: Normal or Not? Cody Simpson got physical with new girlfriend Marloes Stevens during a romantic getaway in St. Barts -- normal, Selling Sunset's Christine Quinn picking up a portrait of herself in L.A. -- normal, Jack Black raised Thor's hammer in a parody posted on Instagram prompting Chris Hemsworth to call it the greatest thing he's ever seen -- not normal
Page 19: The Crown's Emma Corrin looked intrigued by a leafy object she stumbled upon during a stroll in London -- not normal, Sarah Jessica Parker kicked back in heels during a break from assisting shoppers at her flagship store in NYC -- not normal
Page 20: Fashion -- stars look sweet in tiered dresses -- Maude Apatow, Logan Browning, Margot Robbie
Page 21: Julianne Moore, Camila Morrone, Saoirse Ronan
Page 24: After months of quietly dating, Aaron Rodgers and Shailene Woodley are ready to marry and they announced it in the most low-key way possible and the couple are madly in love and feel unequivocally that this is the real deal -- Aaron and Shailene were friends long before sparks flew in August last year and having to endure a long-distance romance during football season actually made their bond stronger -- Aaron and Shailene are already planning to start a family and they're at that stage when they feel ready to be parents and are keen to have a baby
Page 25: Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles have found another dynamic duo to spend their downtime with which is Florence Pugh and Zach Braff -- the foursome hit it off on the set of Don't Worry, Darling which Olivia is directing and in which Florence and Harry star -- they have the best time together and know how to forget the world outside -- as it turns out bearing witness to Florence and Zach's happy relationship despite their 20-year age difference played a part in Olivia taking a chance on dating Harry who is nine years her junior following her split from Jason Sudeikis and seeing them together inspired Olivia to go for it with Harry and she's so glad she did
* While some couples are overwhelmed being with their kids 24/7 in lockdown, Prince William and Duchess Kate have enjoyed the extended family time with Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis -- having the kids at home during the pandemic has given Kate baby fever and she loves being around them and wants to have one more and she and William are trying for another, with Kate saying she's hoping for a girl -- as for raising four young kids, the pair are up to the challenge because Kate's a pro at multitasking and William is a devoted dad and they'll split parenting duties
* Matt Damon is hoping a change of scenery will save his rocky 17-year relationship with wife Luciana Barroso as the couple and their three girls have set up house in a lavish $7000-a-night rental in Australia's tony Byron Bay while the actor films Thor: Love and Thunder -- the beachy new surroundings are just what the couple needs after hitting a rough patch and Matt is working overtime to make sure Luciana enjoys herself Down Under by arranging date nights and buying gifts for her to open every day and even when he's working he's got time set aside for just them and the gestures seem to be working and it's the shot in the arm they both needed
Page 26: Cover Story -- Jennifer Lopez humiliated and used -- shocking cheating allegations rock J.Lo's world as fiance Alex Rodriguez's mistress Madison LeCroy tells all -- while Jennifer is putting on a brave face the affair rumors are devastating to her whether she admits it or not -- after revealing she and Alex exchanged DMs Madison said she doesn't want anything bad for his family or for hers -- Alex says it was innocent and that nothing happened but Jennifer is not fully buying it -- Jennifer and Alex's relationship is personal but it's also business; together, their fortunes have doubled
Page 30: Chip and Joanna Gaines -- inside our farmhouse reno -- Chip and Jo are expanding and renovating their Waco home and it may be their toughest job yet
Page 32: Celeb Parenting Fails -- these celebrity moms and dads share their hilarious hapless moments -- Anne Hathaway, Brad Pitt
Page 33: Willie Geist, Mila Kunis, Pink
Page 48: Parting Shot -- Despite it being her first concert in over a year, Miley Cyrus was ready to rock while headlining the TikTok Tailgate Super Bowl pre-show event in Tampa -- the show treated 7500 Florida-based healthcare workers to a set that included guest appearances by Joan Jett and Billy Idol, who both collaborated on Miley's latest album
#tabloid#grain of salt#tabloid toc#tabloidtoc#jennifer lopez#j.lo#alex rodriguez#a-rod#jennifer lopez and alex rodriguez#jennifer and alex#madison lecroy#miley cyrus#billy idol#princess eugenie#jack brooksbank#britney spears#justin timberlake#mariah carey#kelly clarkson#casey anthony#natalia bryant#rumer willis#armie hammer#aaron rodgers#shailene woodley#harry styles#olivia wilde#florence pugh#zach braff#matt damon
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ambulance
summary: in which park jisung falls off his skateboard and you're the only one to witness it
words: 1.5k
category: skater boy!jisung x fem!reader, fluff, like one curse word (if you count hell), mild injury (not described really)
a/n: this is like the first thing i’ve written that’s not a drabble so sorry if it’s literally all over the place. it’s inspired by prompt #362 from @creativepromptsforwriting: 'They only realized they were holding hands the entire time, the moment they had to let go'. so please enjoy!
the harsh led lighting hurts your eyes as the bumpy road jostles your body around in the tiny bench on the side of the ambulance. lying in the middle of the car is a boy that you met approximately 10 minutes ago, and now you're riding with him to the hospital. it still puzzles you why you agreed to go with him when the emt asked, hell, you're still having trouble processing how he ended up in this ambulance in the first place.
. . .
earbuds blasting noah taylor (or whatever music you listen to), distracted by your instagram feed while walking home from school. consequently, the only thing you were aware of was the sidewalk beneath your feet, trying not to fall onto the concrete and hurt yourself. normally, the walk home was uneventful, despite the fact that the route home takes you through the plaza outside the strip mall in town. however, on this particular day, something happened that you would probably never forget. you see, this particular plaza has a lot of benches and fountains and stairs in it that made it difficult to walk through if you didn't know where you were going. nonetheless, after 3 years of taking the route, its safe to say that you no longer really need to pay attention to what's in front of you and just keep walking to get home as fast as possible to greet your cat. and, on this burning hot day, you were to preoccupied to see (and hear) the cute boy with the bleach blonde hair hurtling towards you on his neon orange skate board.
fortunately for the both of you, your best friend's name popped up on your phone and you stopped to pick up the phone, preventing you from walking the foot forward that would cause you to collide with the boy. regardless, you felt the woosh of air that came with him hurtling past you, and you looked up just in time to see the boy's wheel get caught on the bench that came into his route when he swerved to avoid you, and get thrown off his board and down the short flight of stairs onto the sidewalk.
looking around, the plaza appeared to be deserted, not unusual since it was 6:00 pm and most kids were at home eating dinner by now, and since you felt like it was kind of your fault he crashed, you hurried down the stairs to make sure he was okay. "hey, are you okay?" you ask while on your way, but no reply comes. thinking he's probably just disoriented you shrug it off, but he hasn't moved at all since he fell off his board. finally reaching him, you shake his shoulders, repeating your question. when still no response comes and he doesn't seem to be waking up or moving, you start panicking. "oh my god, uh what do i do, what do i do?" flows out of your mouth once you start panicking that maybe this, objectively very handsome, boy is not gonna wake up anytime soon, and maybe he's not okay. after all, he did fall down a flight of concrete stairs and probably hit his head somewhere at the bottom. "what's the logical move here? think (y/n), think. who do you call when someone gets hurt? ghostbusters 911!" dialing the 911, you keep your eye on the boy to make sure you know what's going on. "911, what's your emergency?" "there's this boy here, and i think he hit his head pretty hard, and he's really not moving, but there's not much blood and i really don't know what to do" you rush out to the dispatcher. "alright miss, stay calm, everything is going to be okay. can you tell me where you are?" "um yeah, yeah, i can. uh it's the, it's the shopping plaza on st. catherine, on the west side near the stairs in front of the pizza shop." "thank you miss, stay where you are and an ambulance is on it's way to you. it'll be there in about 8 minutes."
not really knowing what else to do while waiting for the ambulance to arrive, you tried shaking him one last time just to make sure he wasn't awake. upon receiving no response, you took out your phone and texted your mom, letting her know of the situation because she was supposed to be home by now. in the middle of her phone call, she heard a groan from next to her and you look over to see the boy open his eyes slowly, rubbing his forehead and looking around. "oh my god, are you okay?" "um actually, what happened?" the boy asked drowsily, still coming to his senses. "uh well, uh so you fell off your skateboard and down the stairs. i guess you hit your head pretty hard at the bottom. i was the only one here, so i called an ambulance. it should be here soon." you answered, letting him know of the situation. "oh. well thanks, i guess. uh but do you know where my board is? it's brand new and my mom is gonna kill me if i broke it." he says with newfound urgency in his voice. "i just told you you were going to get in an ambulance and your response is to make sure that your board is okay?" you exclaimed with surprise. "just stay there and don't move, i'll go get your board. it's up on the plaza." you explained. running up the stairs, you retrieve the orange board which, by some miracle, is in one piece and perfectly functioning. "thanks. what's your name by the way?" he asks. "i'm (y/n)." you reply "jisung. thanks for calling the ambulance and not just leaving me here." he adds while reaching for your left hand to shake. just as you introduce yourselves, the ear-piercing screech of the ambulance's sirens is heard and the ambulance comes into view not ten seconds later. the medics get out and hurry over to you and jisung, ensuring that he's okay and doing some preliminary exams. "it looks like we're gonna have to take you to the hospital do some more tests, just to make sure you don't have a concussion or anything else is wrong." the medic says, directing his words toward jisung. "will you be riding with us to the hospital, miss?" he asks you, raising an eyebrow. "ummm," you hesitate, but after looking at jisung and seeing the scared and pleading look on his face, you give in, deciding that since this accident is kind of your fault in the first place, you should see it through to the end. "yeah, i'll ride along with him." you stay with jisung as he's lifted in a stretcher to make sure nothing happens to his head, and sit by his side in the ambulance.
. . .
and that is how you found yourself here, in an ambulance with a stranger, not really knowing what to do next. you texted your mom the situation and how you ended up riding to the hospital as well. you remembered that you hadn't seen jisung text or call anyone, and just as you were about to ask him, you look up from you own phone to see the medics drilling the poor boy with questions, and you decide that maybe, just maybe, this isn't the right time to ask anyone anything. the bleach blond hair that covered his forehead and a little of his eyes, the cute nose scrunch he would do when the medics got too close, the brown eyes that were looking at you- wait, at you? you lock eyes and raise an eyebrow, causing his eyes to widen and his head to turn away. giggling at the boy, he was cute after all, you go back to scrolling on your phone with your right hand until the ambulance stops and you realize you were at the hospital. you get out of the ambulance alongside jisung, making eye contact with him and nodding to reassure him. "miss? i'm going to take him to his room now." the nurse said at the hospital. confused as to why she was informing you, you just nodded your head, and agreed. "i'm going to need you to let go of his hand, miss." he said, looking at you exasperated. blushing, you realize that since you and jisung have shaken hands waiting for the ambulance, you never let go. you slowly release his hand and watch as they take him down the hall to his room. turning away, you call your mom to tell her that everything is done, and ask if she can come pick you up. when she arrives, among the chaos of the emergency room, you leave the hospital thinking about the cute boy on the orange skateboard that just made a boring wednesday one of the most eventful days of your life.
#nct#nct fluff#nct dream#park jisung#skater boy#park jisung fluff#nct imagine#nct scenarios#nct fanfic#nct dream imagine#nct dream scenarios#park jisung imagine
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Why they changed it, I can’t say
Istanbul was Constantinople, and the Chili Cheese Burrito was the Chilito. Why they changed it, I can’t say. But it did help me meet the love of my life.
I am a child of the eighties and nineties, and a child of the fast food restaurant. I remember all of the innovations—the McDLT, mom’s favorite, with its pound of Styrofoam to keep the L and the T cold and the burger (D?) hot; the birth of the curly fry; fast food hot dogs; the invention of the wrap; the salad you shake up in the container; the death of the curly fry; the tacos that burger joints shilled and the burgers schlepped by the taco places; pizza showing up where it didn’t belong; every new flavor of shake, and sauce, and spice; the birth of the dollar menu. I remember the failed chains—Rax, more famous for their outlandishly large menus and gigantic salad bars than they were for their roast beef; One Potato Two, an honest-to-God baked potato restaurant; even Wag’s, a restaurant owned and operated by Walgreen’s pharmacies.
McDonald’s had the monopoly on toys, everybody knew that. That’s the place you conned your parents into bringing you. But the fast food chain that got me to open my Velcro wallet and spend my tiny allowance was Taco Bell. Taco Bell made me feel like a king. First off, I could afford to eat the whole menu. It was cheap. But it was also packed with the most flavor. Exotic flavor for a Midwestern kid. Flavor that scared my grandparents. It felt dangerous. All those bright colors and southwestern touches. Hot sauce on demand? Hot sauce on demand! I’d never had hot sauce before.
Oh, the times I had at Taco Bell. And my true Taco Bell love was the Chilito. Don’t remember it? I’m going to have to go Golden Girls’ Sophia on you—picture it, your local Taco Bell, nineteen eighty-I’m-feeling-very-old-these-days. You’ve ordered a magical food item called the Chilito. It is a tortilla lovingly spread with true chili—that means lots of beef and spice and no beans. No beans. That’s important. It is mounded with shredded cheese and melted just-so before being wrapped up into a chubby little burrito, perfect for any and every occasion. Chubby Little Burrito would be my nickname going into high school, and I would not like it. But I digress...
The Chilito got me through high school, but by the time I got to college, the Dark Ages had settled upon America, and Taco Bell had discontinued the Chilito. But I never forgot. Taco Bell and I had an off-again/on-again relationship after that point. It seemed like they just didn’t know what they were doing anymore—where they were going in life. Seafood salad? I mean, seriously? And then they went and took away my dessert. My Cinnamon Crispas. I swear to God, they wanted me to leave them. But I wouldn’t. I couldn’t quit my Taco Bell.
By about the time I got to grad school, the rumblings began. They were quiet at first, but I heard word through something new called The Facebook that there was a new Taco Bell menu item called the Chili Cheese Burrito. Chili. And Cheese. In a Burrito. This sounded a lot like a former friend that had been taken from me too soon, too long ago. I could barely remember its look, its smell, its taste upon my tongue. I headed down to my local Taco Bell at once.
Disaster.
The Chili Cheese Burrito was an optional, regional menu item. And I had chosen my grad school poorly, because my region didn’t buy into that “option.” I was incensed. I nearly quit grad school. I mean, I didn’t. That would be crazy. Though I did know my spring break destination that year—the nearest good Taco Bell. That would turn out to be a three hundred mile road trip away.
But again, I’m getting off track. This was supposed to be a love story. You didn’t think I was the kind of person who fell in love with inanimate objects, did you? Like I’m the guy who’d marry a menu item, just as that one guy tried to tie the knot with the Brooklyn Bridge? I’m sorry, no. That’s not this story.
After grad school I chose my next move from several available job options. The natural, and only real choice, brought me to a sensible metro area, complete with good Taco Bells. I made sure to call around before I took the job offer.
It would have been poetic to have me fall in love with the cashier that sold me that first sweet taste of Chili Cheese Burrito, right? It would have been, but it wasn’t her. But she did lead me to my true love. It was her roommate.
Sure, the cashier—Mary, she had a name��and I hooked up a little when we first met. I was drooling when I stepped into her Taco Bell. I usually drooled at the aroma coming from that place, especially in those days when our relationship was illicit and tenuous. But that day I knew my Chilito had come back to me. Oh, the expectation. The drool must have been a good look. Mary was the one who picked me up. Apparently my new corporate paycheck looked better than my old Velcro wallet, and my new convertible lease and loft apartment spoke to her. I was a little different than a lot of the other men she spent her days around.
But after the first time she took me home, her roommate caught my eye. Mary lived in a cramped little third story walkup in the old part of town. Most of her roommates were cockroaches, but there were two notable exceptions—Julie, and her dog Baxter. Julie and I hit it off right away, and Mary and I knew, honestly, that we weren’t meant to be. Julie and Baxter quickly moved in with me and Mary found a roommate in Daryl, one of the cooks from the Bell. We all hung out. It was cool.
Julie worked in one of those stock-trading-for-the-average-schmo websites and, the business being a startup, she was gone a lot. Baxter and I really bonded. We bonded over the couch, the late night television, and the newly-rebranded Chili Cheese Burrito. You know how they say that people and their pets start to look alike after a while? That wasn’t the case with Baxter and me. But we did begin to smell alike. Two people (ostensibly) and a dog in a loft apartment subsisting on mostly Chili Cheese made for a very ripe atmosphere. Julie was not pleased.
Julie and my relationship really hit the rocks when the lying began. No, I haven’t been feeding Baxter Taco Bell—of course I’d been feeding Baxter Taco Bell. Have you seen that face? He’s a good boy!
Julie, the monster, debated tossing out my Chubby Little Burrito. She thought his weight gain was due to a thyroid condition or something, and the farts—well, he was a dog after all. She thought it would be “humane” to put him down. Little did she know that many of the farts were mine. Hey, I’m no saint; we all blame the dog now and again.
Well I sent her to the farm upstate instead.
You know that silly song by They Might Be Giants? Istanbul was Constantinople? Well the Chili Cheese Burrito was the Chilito. Why they changed it, I can’t say... But I do know that I wouldn’t change a thing about how my life has turned out thus-far. Sure, I hate every minute of my job. But I never regret my decision to take it. No. Because it brought me to the land of the good Taco Bell. It reunited me with my old friend with a new name. It introduced me to my true love—Baxter. What a good boy.
What, did you think I’d been talking about Julie?
-- -- -- --
Why they changed it, I can’t say
by: B. Patrick Lonberg
Originally submitted to Taco Bell Quarterly vol. 3.
[it was rejected, and let’s be honest, where else was I going to submit this? I hope you enjoy reading it here!]
#Author#Short Story#Am Writing#Taco Bell#Writeblr#Writing Community#writers on tumblr#writers#short fiction#humor
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Since we have a week off, is there a chance you could do a top 10 Fjorester moments so far?
OH HEY THIS SOUNDS LIKE FUN YES LET’S DO IT
10. “Did you just say I’ve been with your mom?!”
This whole sequence is hilarious. Jester is clearly annoyed that this woman is hitting on Fjord (as he tries to hire company for Kiri iirc) and tries to use her mom as leverage which clearly doesn’t work but...
what really gets me is how appalled Fjord sounds. It’s not “The Ruby of the Seas” it’s not “a famous courtesan” it’s not “a big score for a sailor like me” nope nope in his head this is “Jester’s mom” and given the flirty nature of their relationship he’s clearly Not Happy with the suggestion and Idk why but the way his voice becomes high-pitched with panic is just amazing and it was one of the first moments when my brain went PING he has a crush PING
9. Turning into water
Objectively, everything about that scene was hilarious. Fjord’s tired sigh, “nope, but thank you for that terrifying thought” was so funny and bantery... but what really gets me about this scene is how honestly worried about him Jester is at the beginning, just as he wakes up, and how later she tries to lighten the air between them with a joke...
And you can tell that it works because, despite Fjord’s initial discomfort, he turns it around and he gives her a wink and a smooth line and Jester just MELTS and it really just encapsulates so much about their friendship and dynamic and this was like episode 4 or smth
8. Post-Plank King talk
So this scene is pretty good already as a vulnerable and honest talk between them but also I like it for a few particular reasons. Firstly, the context. During the pirate arc, Fjord and Jester had some issues mostly because of Avantika, and Jester was starting to second-guess just how well she knew Fjord and he was pulling back from everyone under the pressures of leading... so to see her seek him out and just ask if he’s okay and how he is feeling was a wonderful thing for both of them. Also, I love how Fjord chose to open up to her about his conflicted feelings towards Vandran and how the whole thing hurt him. It’s just SO RARE to see him be this honest about his insecurities, and it really goes to show how much he trusts Jester. I also like that she mentions the accent thing. For us, as an audience, it’s pretty indicative that the person Jester thought she knew, actually is the real Fjord. That she has known him the best from the start and kept his secrets for him because they trust each other so much.
I also love the ending so so so much? Jester mentioning his growing tusks was such a soft little thing, and Fjord in turn acknowledging how much she supports him and thanking her for keeping his secrets was so sweet.
Plus, how to forget that perfect romcom ending where they both awkwardly pretend they have something else to do? PEAK SLOW BURN ROMANCE I TELL YOU.
7. Wursh
So this is two separate things, technically. First, their first meeting and Jester obviously noticing Fjord’s discomfort and insecurities and rushing to try to cheer him up after the talk. Jester is super perceptive, and she knows Fjord better than anyone, so I really appreciate that she didn’t just notice, she went out of her way to try to address it with him.
Also, though, the second time when she low-key threatens Wursh and makes sure he’s being nice to Fjord feels my heart with joy. Anyone who thinks Jester’s feelings for Fjord are shallow or performative is missing the point that she’s doing these things in private. He has no idea. She’s doing this out of love and selflessness, just checking in on him and making sure that he’s not going to be hurt by anyone else. And the way she TALKS about him, how gentle she sounds when talking about his insecurities and how she tells wursh that she knows he has a good heart I just- dfljañdlfja
6. Meeting the Ruby
I love so many things about this meeting omg. Firstly, that after watching Marion Lavorre aka the most famed and hot and expensive performer and courtesan in the Coast —at least— Fjord’s first reaction is “Hey, Jester, would you like to do that?” Like he has full faith she totally could do that and even when she voices certain self-doubts and Beau reassures her that she’s pretty and graceful, his contribution is “your singing voice is nice” as if the only thing that could stop Jester from reaching those heights was singing because she’s beautiful to his eyes.
Further proof? This boy, meeting the Ruby of the Seas, again, most beautiful and sensual woman, and his reaction is “I see where Jester got her good looks from” like, damn son, slow down! And Marion, bless her, all flirty but also perceptive being like “i can see you care about my daughter, do you watch over her?” and nearly making him break down right there, like Marion is part of the We Been Knew club.
And AFTER though, Fjord who has all this issues with family and who longs to find them but also dreads it, watching Jester (right after Caleb pointed out that her cheerfulness is an act) and making a point to ASK if she’s okay, “how are you feeling? do you want to have a drink? a walk? a talk?” this boy always going out of his way to make sure she feels okay and making sure they fix whatever is troubling her it’s just peak soft
5.The Tree Dive
Okay so what can I say about this that i haven’t yelled about yet? Travis “No Romance” Willingham giving ups PEAK ROMCOM DRAMATIC MOMENTS that take our breath away? Check. Fjord who just recently had an epiphany as to HOW MUCH Jester means to him and how her unwavering support is the one thing he can lean on, freaking LEAPING after her when she falls off the tree? The fact that there were ZERO seconds of hesitation between her falling and his jump? Feather fall giving them one quiet floaty yaoi moment where they hold hand and look at each other right before he booms them back up? How about Jester’s shocked and scared “Fjord, you-“ once they are back up, like she just CAN’T BELIEVE what he did for her?? AND THEN THE BOY USES HIS LAST SPELLSLOT JUST TO GIVE HER A BOOST WHEN SHE STARTS TO PANIC?!
IT’S FINE IT’S FINE I DIDN’T NEED MY HEART ANYWAY
4. The Second Temple
This one is, like, especially interesting when you consider the context, right? Like, it’s right after the blue dragon fight and Fjord just spent the whole past day trying to patch things up with Jester while she pulls away… and then they are here and he’s ready to go through with this and Jester is just SO SCARED FOR HIM. She doesn’t want to leave him behind, and he KNOWS that.
The way she just sits down to talk to her god, her best friend in the world, and ask him to look after him for her just MELTS MY HEART. And you can see it melts Fjord’s too. I mean, here is a boy who grew up all alone, with no one to help him or stand up for him, who deeply believes that no one in the world would possibly care about his problems, and then there’s this girl who is so worried about him, literally praying for him. And like, just the moment when he sits next to her and he’s so soft and touched by her worry. “Jester, it’s alright. You don’t have to tell me. I appreciate the sentiment.” THIS IS PRETTY MUCH A STAR WARS CLASSIC “I KNOW” OKAY??’ and her quiet “i really hope he does help you” “me too”
*banging pots and pans* TRAVELER SHOW TF UP FOR YOUR GIRL AND HELP FJORD OKAY WILD MAMA BEAT U TO IT BUT YOU GOTTA STEP UP
And the last part is just so cute, like, “just, don’t turn evil to me?” “Or anyone else? just you” listen listen listen if we ever talk dark au’s this is basically the foundation, “fuck the world but i can’t lose you”
3. Tusk Talk
There’s so much to appreciate about this talk, especially with Fjord being so open and vulnerable about his past, but I’m super soft about how Jester chooses to reassure him. “I think you would look good either way, Fjord” because she likes him and not just about his body, it’s about who he IS. And you can tell how much her opinion matters to him by the way he hyper focus on Jester after that comment. Everyone else keeps talking and he’s just like “you’re saying I should grow them back?” and she just reassures him again that it doesn’t matter to her.
And he does something that is still so impactful to the narrative about 50 episodes later: he gives her control, he trusts her enough to overwatch him getting over his worst childhood trauma, and in that moment he makes himself vulnerable in a way he never has before. And she takes that trust and honors it, and she comments on his tusks now and then, she makes them a mark of pride in her tattoos, she reassures him whenever those insecurities resurface. It’s such a meaningful thing that he has chosen to share with her, I don’t think I’ll ever be over it.
2. Underwater Kiss
Again, what can I say that I haven’t yelled about before? Fjord, who just tried to drown Avantika btw, sees Jester drowning right before of him and this protective self-sacrificial boy just grabs her by the face and KISSES HER. Travis used those words exactly, hell he specifically referenced The Shape of Water. And then he gives her all of his air. HE JUST DOES THAT.
He could’ve done so many other things?! Taken the key from her? Pulled her to the entrance with his double swimming speed? AND INSTEAD HE DID THAT
AND THEY HAVEN’T FREAKING TALKED ABOUT IT
ALSO JESTER’S FIRST KISS??? AND HOW JUST ROMANTIC AND AESTHETIC AND EXCITING IT IS?
when i tell you my heart can’t take it
1. Jellyfish Talk
Of course, of course, this is the TOP Forester moment. I mean. How could it not be? The romantic light, the heart to heart, Jester first and foremost checking on how Fjord is feeling with his mission and then carefully bringing up her negative feelings, for the first time, willingly, because she trusts him so much. And Fjord, who just had Caleb open his eyes about Jester hiding her emotions, being so tentative around her, so careful. Fjord being vulnerable too, opening up about his own negative emotions, give and take, so that she will feel better opening up. Fjord being so soft and reassuring for her, coming up with crazy plans to make her laugh and cheer her up. THE SOFTNESS with which he says “Don’t be sad. Your mama is pretty proud of you, that much is clear.” He’s so gentleeeee
And listen listen listen this moment is also key because of how much it affected what came next. Like, Avantika comes and muddles everything up, but this talk lingers between them as a moment of sincerity before all the lies, and then, as soon as they move on from this hell, Fjord’s main priority is getting Jester back to her mom, making sure Jester is okay, trying to return to that point. It takes them a while, of course, but you can tell this moment is a strong foundation for them to find their way back to each other.
Because in this moment, in the ship surrounded by beauty, they saw each other without masks.
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