#5sos really like the whole i will never change thing lol

[ghost-of-you]

I’m sorry for spamming you, but I keep noticing more and more lyrics, and Best Friends’s line of “It’s time to love somebody who won’t try to change your way” is really, really interesting in light of how many songs they have along the lines of how they’ll never change (and speaking of which, the earliest I have found so far is Independence Day, from self-titled B-sides, with the line “You’re telling me the same old story / And that I need to change.” They were told this really young)

Also, this mind map is bearing an increasing resemblance to a Jackson Pollux painting, wish me luck in organizing it

dont apologize, keep them coming.

I'm pretty sure we go back to rejects and independence day with the whole never change thing, i did look it up not long ago oksaoksoaks and i actually LOVE that the song that says that it's okay, i love the way you are is the friendship song. Because it is recurrent, every album has at least one song referring to not being able to change, independence day, rejects, broken pieces, better man, want you back, easier, complete mess, eftys, flatline, emotions. And to have best friends go like i love to love you just the way you are no need to change for me, no sir is actually so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had to look that guy up, but i am wishing so much luck organizing your thoughts.

[leolingo]

🍓, 🛼, ❄️, 🦴

buenas tardes!! i leave these for the ask game. I am such a fan of your writing<333 I hope you have a very wonderful day, besos abrazooos 🫂

sincerly, pm-00, formerly cubitoscubeando

HELLOOOOOOOOO omg i was hoping someone would ask about the inspiration one thank you so much! also i just noticed today that you changed your url lol i clicked on the blog like wait-- OH!

🛼 answered!

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? honestly my first experience with writing fic was probably with the ranger's apprentice books and percy jackson but back then i'd just write stuff for myself bc i wasn't really aware of fandom as a sharing space. after that i'm bad at remembering things in the right order but i THINK my first time publishing anything was very inconsistent 5sos y/n stuff on wattpad LMFAO and by god did it do numbers! then i found ao3, probably, and became a haikyuu writer for a while. my BIG break into ficdom was with kpop rpf however (which, i think is somewhat common in mcyt fandom? lol?) i wrote kpop fic for yearssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss and that experience is what really made me love ficwriting i guess

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? ohhh interesting question i actually don't think i have an answer? while i do have certain themes and plots im VERY fond of and think about consistently they're not necessarily things id like to see written, more of comfort ideas lol

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? YES, yes there are. a few, actually. there's 3 main pieces of media i pull inspiration from, somewhat consciously and CONSTANTLY.

(1) nora sakavic's the foxhole court trilogy. not only did this SHAPE ME AS A PERSON it also guides my writing style to this day. i read all three books in 8th grade or something and it changed me dude i carry the dialogue and the pacing with me still i KNOW the way i write things is the way it is today because of this woman

(2) richard siken's poetry <3 all of it influences me, but mostly the poems from 'crush'

>> you may know some of them from web weaves lol

(3) this is an insane thing to say but crimson rivers the 865k words the-hunger-games-au MARAUDERS fanfic . yes i am transgender it is my birthright to despise jkr as much as humanly possible but for as long as fanmade content is not profitable for that woman i will still tentatively interact with it. most of the characters on cr are barely IN the books either way its almost OC content and . it's good. it's really fucking good like i could never lie about this for a whole summer i was OBSESSIVELY reading and re-reading it!!!! the writing is actually so impressive to me and i think about it a lot more often than i probably should. most of all i take a lot of inspiration from the planning -- the foreshadowing and the attention to detail, how all 75 chapters of this thing tie in together at the end its really so fucking sick like you could not experience this through any other medium if not fanfiction

[ilostyou]

youngblood (by 5sos) ranking!

ghost of you

meet you there

more

lie to me

why won't you love me

youngblood

want you back

if walls could talk

moving along

talk fast

better man

valentine

babylon

empty wallets

woke up in japan

monster among men

@fountainpensongs your move. but first .. things to consider! (buckle up i didnt even realize how long this was)

ghost of you will never not be my top song off this album and quite frankly possibly all of 5sos' discography but not in a basic omg ghost of you! way. in a. this song is Mine and it makes me Feel and. yes. anyway. meet you there is a very solid 2 for me bc !!!! it fucking SLAPS and one of the songs i immediately fell in love w listening for the first time and that has not changed. more???????? same thing. extra points for the easier-more transition and being absolutely phenomenal live (myt and more also slay vocals across the board. as always, but bears mentioning). next lie to me, great song on its own but when you consider the background 🙃 feelings are hurt and it's very solidly up there. wwylm actually only recently grew on me but i LOVE her now, it's actually a super sad song?? really really like it actually. next we have the youngblood/wyb/iwct stretch which really is interchangeable based on my mood lol they all SLAP and imo are a tier (youngblood maybe s tier bc of how rockstar™ it is of them esp live) but either way. slay. wyb would maybe be higher but in a way it feels kind of basic to me for some reason? but i do like it a lot it's never a skip and is almost always a straight bop. then we've got moving along and talk fast - moving along goes surprisingly hard but i'll say it's not their best songwriting and feels kinda cheesy lol so. very good middle of the album here. talk fast is SO FUN im obsessed w calum's verse, absolute banger but don't necessarily love it more than the ones above it yknow? THEN the little holy trinity of better man/valentine/babylon being songs i really did not like or listen to UNTIL i listened to the myt tour live album and i was Changed by these three specifically (better man - FUCK me at a quarter to three???? luke?? excuse me??????? valentine....the entire thing. the whole damn thing. michael did not leave one crumb and calum is HOT. babylon - pure vibes live and see prev re calum.) i however dont love the studio versions so they kinda hang down here lol. THEN LASTLY. my dead last trio. they can die. i have listened to mam maaaaybe 3 times total i Do Not Like It. woke up in japan makes me full body cringe idk why, empty wallets i just ? do not vibe with. don't like her either

honorable mention for when you walk away! a whole bop but i can't just stick her in the rest of the ranking bc i don't really ? know where it would go bc it's so separate to me

and NOW thank you for coming to this actual ted talk

[softstraykidshours]

get to know me - tag game

thanks for tagging us @sulfurcosmos! these are always so fun!

birthday

courtney: april 1

abbie: september 29

favourite color

courtney: light pink

abbie: sapphire blue (although i'm a sucker for any shade of blue)

do you have pets?

courtney: no, but my brother has a german shepherd who practically lives at our house. she is my sweet niece, and i love her so much.

abbie: ohhh absolutely! i have 2 dogs (finn and steele) and a cat (spud) i also have a horse and 4 goats, but they currently live on my parent's farm (i also don't think they technically count as pets)

how tall are you?

courtney: 5'2" lol

abbie: 5'10"

how many pairs of shoes do you own?

courtney: 14

abbie: 13? but only like 4 pairs that i actually wear consistently

favourite song?

courtney: it changes all the time, so i feel like i never have an actual favorite song but one i usually always come back to is stardust chords by greta van fleet.

abbie: i don't think i really have a favorite song, i feel like it's constantly changing depending on what i'm listening to at the moment. but i can say that my #1 most played song on spotify last year was lover of mine by 5sos

favourite movie?

courtney: ooooo this one is hard too, idk if i have a favorite. i really like basically any marvel movie.

abbie: once again i don't think i have a favorite movie (either that or i'm just too indecisive to actually pick a favorite)

who would be your ideal partner?

courtney: someone who is caring and respectful and loving. i tend to overthink everything but i especially overthink every interaction i have with someone, so i tend to overly apologize for things, so i would want to be with someone who is understanding and compassionate of this. i also want to feel like a priority. basically i just want a guy who will love me for me and will always be there. i want someone i can pour my whole soul into. someone who likes physical touch is also big for me, because i love giving and receiving physical touch. also bonus points if he's a cutie patootie.

abbie: someone who i can laugh with. my ideal partner is someone who will take things seriously, but also won't let the serious parts of life weigh everything else down. also someone who will listen, like really listen. when i really care about someone i want to tell them literally everything that's happening in my life no matter how stupid or irrelevant it is. i also have a really bad habit of repeating myself or telling the same story over and over again. so i want someone who will truly listen and be interested in what i have to say even if i'm repeating myself for the fiftieth time or spending ten minutes talking about my trip to the grocery store.

what color socks are you wearing?

courtney: i am currently not wearing any lol

abbie: purple fuzzy socks!

do you want children?

courtney: no

abbie: no. i used to want them, but now i don't. i have a niece and a bunch of nephews and my plan is to just be the cool, fun aunt.

have you gotten in trouble with the law?

courtney: no

abbie: does a speeding ticket count? other than that, no.

favourite type of music?

courtney: alt rock, pop, indie pop, kpop

abbie: i love listening to a lot of different types of music, but i think the genre i listen to the most is pop/kpop.

how many pillows do you sleep with?

courtney: just one. i have a lot of pillows and plushies on my bed but i move them at night and only sleep with one.

abbie: 2-3, but i will basically sleep with as many pillows as i can surround myself with

what position do you sleep in?

courtney: on my side or on stomach with my knee kicked out

abbie: oh man. i am switching up positions allllll night long. i sleep on my side, on my back, on my stomach, starfished across the whole bed, sideways, curled up in a ball, you name it and my body is probably in that position at some point in time. formal apology to anyone who has ever had to share a bed with me (rip courtney) because odds are you have been smacked, kicked, or smothered by me in my sleep.

what don't you like when you're sleeping?

courtney: when the room is too hot or too cold

abbie: when i get too hot. i have a hard time falling asleep/staying asleep baseline and nothing makes it worse than when the room is even a tiny bit too hot

have you ever tried archery?

courtney: once, and i was sooooo bad at it

abbie: no, but i think it would be soooo fun (although i already know i would fail miserably)

favourite fruit?

courtney: peaches, mangoes, and blueberries

abbie: nectarines, blackberries, and raspberries

are you a good liar?

courtney: not really, my face turns too red

abbie: yes, but i don't do it often because i hate lying (both when i do it or other people do it)

what's your personality type?

courtney: infj

abbie: infp

innie or outie?

courtney: innie

abbie: innie

left or right handed?

courtney: right

abbie: right

favourite food?

courtney: pizza, fruit

abbie: pizza. and also probably sushi.

favourite foreign food?

courtney: hmm i like italian and korean

abbie: korean and vietnamese

are you clean or messy?

courtney: i thrive best in clean spaces but sometimes it is very hard for me and my brain to keep a place tidy so i usually end up doing massive cleaning sessions when i get too overwhelmed with how dirty or cluttered my space is

abbie: clean, i love organization and having a neat space. something about it really just scratches my brain just right

most used phrase?

courtney: i feel like it changes all the time but right now it's "no shot"

abbie: "i don't know, what do you want?" (or a similar variation)

how long does it take you to get ready?

courtney: usually like 30 minutes

abbie: it depends on what i'm getting ready for. on a normal day, probably like 15 min, but if i'm going out somewhere it will be more like 30min-1hr depending on what it is

do you talk to yourself?

courtney: yes omg, it's only gotten worse now that i live alone lol

abbie: yes. i do it the most when i'm irritated/frustrated so a lot of the things i say out loud involve heavy amounts of expletives

do you sing to yourself?

courtney: yes

abbie: yes, but only if music is playing in the background

are you a good singer?

courtney: i don't think so

abbie: absolutely not 😂

biggest fear?

courtney: death

abbie: losing the people i love

are you a gossip?

courtney: yes, i love some good tea

abbie: yessss, i want to hear all the tea all the time

long or short hair?

courtney: short hair

abbie: long hair

favourite school subject?

courtney: theatre

abbie: science, i absolutely loveeeee science, especially biology and chemistry

extrovert or introvert?

courtney: introvert

abbie: introvert

what makes you nervous?

courtney: lots of things, i feel like i'm a generally nervous person, both good and bad nervous. cute boys and things i'm really excited for make me good nervous but things like crowded spaces or unknown situations make me bad nervous.

abbie: i think the better question is what doesn't make me nervous? i get nervous/anxious about most things (mostly when it's my first time doing it/going there). so i guess basically anything that i'm not used to or comfortable with.

who was your first real crush?

courtney: if we're talking celebrity, it was when i was really little, and it was on the boy who played peter pan in the live action peter pan from 2003. if we're talking irl, it was a boy i went to school with in middle school.

abbie: oh definitely dylan sprouse in the suite life of zach and cody. for a real person, it would be a boy i went to youth group with

how many piercings do you have?

courtney: 10

abbie: 8

how many tattoos do you have?

courtney: 5

abbie: 6

how fast can you run?

courtney: not fast at all, please never make me run

abbie: average/maybe slightly above average (my long legs give me a little advantage here)

what colour is your hair?

courtney: dark blonde

abbie: dark brown

what color are your eyes?

courtney: green

abbie: blue

what makes you angry?

courtney: people that are mean for no reason, and people that chew with their mouth open.

abbie: people who don't show others respect (or basic human decency)

do you like your name?

courtney: yes, i love it!

abbie: idk, i feel like i'm indifferent about it. i don't really like it, but i don't not like it

what are your strengths?

courtney: i'm very motivated when it comes to things like school and work, and i care a lot about the people around me.

abbie: i will always put my all into relationships and my friends know they can always count on me to be there. i love showing/giving love and will go out of my way to make someone feel special or loved.

what are your weaknesses?

courtney: i'm really bad about expressing my emotions to people close to me, so i usually just bottle things up and deal with them myself. i also get jealous really easily.

abbie: i overthink things. a lot. i get in my own head a lot and over analyze situations to the point that i create issues that didn't ever exist.

what's the color of your bedspread?

courtney: pink, grey, and white stripes

abbie: i just moved so i don't have a bedspread at the moment. currently, it's just a grey fuzzy blanket

what's the color of your room?

courtney: light gray abbie: off white - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

tagging: @sensitiveandhungry @muddy-waters @moonlit-stay

[roonilwazlibimagines]

What are some of your scenarios to fall asleep to? 👀

Ahhhh I’m glad you asked !! Also please feel free to share some of yours they can be specific or vague idc I’m in desperate need

I will be going into heavy detail because I can’t help myself I’m sorry and I will put in both normal ones and Harry Potter ones

Also this is just like one big ramble I’m sorry I got too excited I literally turned into that Tik tok sound where it’s like ‘you’re asking me about my theories? I’ve waited years for someone to ask me about my theories’

Update - I think I’m just going to keep updating this as well when I think of new ones because I keep forgetting some

My most recent one is a royalty one where they’re like royalty but in their really prestigious and royal school they were academic rivals and did not get along and after school they like try to go their separate ways until a couple years later their parents force them into an arranged marriage for like the good of the country or whatever I don’t really care!! You can take it wherever you want from there but in case you were interested in mine he fell for her first and kinda gave up on the enemies thing pretty early on but she still made it clear he wasn’t her favourite person and she despised the situation and there is still constant teasing until she meets his sister or friend or whoever who says that they can’t believe how happy he is with them and she feels so bad because she thinks he deserves better and ends up being much meaner to him because she’s an idiot who can’t express her emotions and he gets angry at her because she’s being super mean after they were just starting to get along and they have a big argument and are forced to talk about their feelings and then I can never decide whether they actually like each other when they get married, I feel like either way is fun

I have a thing for royalty so my other one is literally just princess x stable boy and you can honestly take that wherever you want but I will tell you where I took it for some ✨inspiration✨ so I don’t have my drivers license and get really bad driving anxiety so I self projected and made her terrified of riding horses right (I’m so smart I know) and he is like trying to help her ride the horse and feel comfortable and like obviously they end up in love but I created drama because she sneaks out to his birthday party (!!) but his friends don’t like her because they just think she’ll be a snob but he obviously defends her but like it’s a perfect opportunity for a bit of an innocent princess as well

My personal favourite is the two co stars falling in love and like thinking about doing all those stupid interviews from like buzzfeed and all that and I personally love the trying foods from different places thing (like making them try fairy bread - because I’m from Australia and we aren’t that cultured and being mad when they don’t like it because it is my favourite food) and it’s great because i can make the guy any actor I am currently obsessed with 😭 but also like the red carpet opportunities and interviews and fan reactions and it’s very fun also this keeps my brain very busy because I like making it as realistic as possible and figuring out the actors timeline so I can match the story up with it, it’s always really intense, also if you want inspiration for what moving they’re staring in I always go for the live action version of tangled even if I don’t look anything like rapunzel

Another fun one is where one of them is in a band and you have a friend who is dating one of the other members but you don’t like the band and you’re not shy in letting the other members know that and it turns into an enemies to lovers thing but I haven’t really developed it because halfway through I ended up changing it with the fact that they befriend one of the members and like fall for them but the band member like ‘gets around’ and it makes them jealous until they drunkingly confess it made them jealous this one’s a bit of a mess and is tipping into a 2012 wattpad story but it was how I got back into my 5sos phase two years ago because I felt icky about them but I’m still a slut for Calum 😭

Another one I love is moving abroad to study or whatever (idk I just always need a reason to be in America/Uk because there’s no one here in australia) and you make friends with someone who turns out to be related to someone really famous (insert whoever you want) and you meet them and you think they’re the hottest person you’ve ever seen and you get drunk to gain confidence to talk to them and you’re like unashamedly flirting with them and they think it’s cute and you’re funny but the whole little plot twist is that you don’t know they’re famous (famous people love that, trust me, I have about 10 wattpad stories in my library that can prove this) !! And the don’t believe you don’t know they’re famous !! Anyways I took it in a sugar daddy direction but each to their own!

Specifically for Harry Potter though, you ask?

Currently I am obsessed with Regulus Black and for about the past two weeks I’ve been obsessed with the idea of James potter sibling x regulus black enemies to lovers story and then about a week ago I found an actually good wattpad story about it?!?! (I have recommended it here with warnings but I really encourage you to read it if you’re not a minor) but you can also do your own version because I am still doing my own version and will continue to do my own version tonight even if I am obsessed with the wattpad one !! Currently I am up to post Hogwarts and her and regulus are trying to defeat Voldemort and regulus tells her that Peter is going to betray James and so ofc she tells James but James is like ‘how to do you even know this??’ And he is so afraid and gets angry at her and it’s really dramatic and she tells him she’s dating regulus and then he gets super mad at her because she’s dating like one of the most well known and loyal death eaters (even if regulus is sneakily trying to destroy Voldemort) and because he didn’t tell her and it’s very dramatic

My favourite Sirius black idea is also a James potters sibling one, but I never have any good ideas for it and just end up self projecting so if anyone has any ideas, I am begging you, please tell me !!!

My other Sirius black one is one I’ve been working on for like the last 4 years of my life and I probably should write it but who knows, but basically it’s a 10 things I hate about you x Harry Potter story where reader is about a year or so older than the marauders and she is like Kat Stratford (for people who haven’t watched it the best way to describe her is just an angry early 2000s feminist who is like anti dating and fun (kinda)) but she is Lily Evans sister!! And so Lily gets fed up of James constantly asking her out and makes an offhand comment that she’ll date him when her sister goes on a date with someone and James is like really?!? And Lily is like ‘sure’ because she knows her sister will never date anyone at Hogwarts so James tells the marauders and Remus is like ‘if anyone can take her on a date, it’s Sirius’ and Sirius is like ‘no, I’m stupid but not that stupid’ and James is like ‘please I’ll pay you’ and Sirius is easily bribed so he tries to get her to go on a date with him and like she doesn’t until she does and then finds out he only did it because James paid him but then they fall in love? Basically just 10 things I hate about you lol

My next one is with Draco Malfoy and all it is is that reader comes from a pure blood family and they’ve known each other since they were babies and it’s like basically destined they get married but she gets like really upset when he gets the mark which makes for a good cuddling and crying scene and like idk people are probably more creative than me but I just like reimagining scenes from hp but with this new character so like Poa when she gets angry at him about buckbeak or the bathroom scene (maybe she duels Harry?) and she’s so upset about Draco and comforts him, or helping him in sixth year and comforting him or the quidditch scene in the fifth book (weird note, but I’ve always headcannoned that my original character finds out about dumbledores army but doesn’t say anything and like the da knows she knows but she doesn’t tell Draco or maybe Draco finds out and gets angry at her?)

My other one is another Draco malfoy one where James and Lily live and she’s Harry’s younger sister (and Voldemort isn’t a thing) but like there’s still stereotypes and beliefs and such and like it’s obviously enemies to lovers and maybe they get prefect duties together ? (I am a sucker for this trope in Harry Potter) but then when they do date they try to hide it but Harry finds out but doesn’t say anything until they get into a fight at home and he is like ‘well at least I’m not fucking Draco malfoy behind everyone’s back) (in my head they aren’t fucking because they’re still in Hogwarts but you get the idea) and James and Lily are just like ‘WHAT?!’ Like idk I just think it’s funny imagining James and Lily finding out their kid is dating Draco and Lucius and narcissus finding out Draco is dating a potter - so many possibilities!

Update 6.10.21

I also have one for Charlie Weasley !! And basically you’re friends with the twins and like you go your whole Hogwarts life with the biggest crush on Charlie but like he low key doesn’t even know who you are and you want to become a healer and then after Hogwarts there is a position in Romania and you take it because you know Charlie’s there and at first he is like hmmm I think I know you and you explain you’re friends with the twins and obviously he falls in love with you I also took it in a nsfw direction where it’s like major innocence kink because Charlie is just such a dom to me and he like teaches you everything but he makes sure you’re happy and safe and it’s not really like serious sex you’re both just having fun and he kinda introduces you to dom/sub dynamics but you can do whatever is most comfortable

[allsassnoclass]

hello :)

what's you favourite ff you've written?

what's your favourite pairing to write?

is there a pairing you don't really like (in the sense that you don't like writing it)

will you someday finish unmute?

how's your day been?

thank you for making 5sos fic exchanges! some of my favourite fanfics came from you setting this whole thing up! i'm always excited when new round comes.

also the catch is soooo cutee. while they're not my fave pairing, when the fic is good the fic is good :D

hello!

My favorite would have to be Puzzle Pieces. It will probably always be Puzzle Pieces tbh. This fic is everything I want in a story, and I feel warm and fuzzy when I reread it! Even though there are maybe a few sentences here or there that I would change as my writing has gotten better, the story is by far my favorite one that I've ever told and I'll always be happy about how many other ace people connected with it :)

My favorite pairing to write is mashton! I love both Michael and Ashton individually, and I think that they're dynamic is so fun because so much of it is understated but there's a very deep and profound connection underneath that. I also really enjoy writing malum, because the childhood bff dynamic makes me warm and fuzzy and they come relatively easily to me!

I struggle a lot with cake and generally do not have inspiration for them. I don't know why, but that's the pairing that I'm least interested in by far, from both a writing and reading perspective. I was genuinely surprised that I got more than one request for a cake prompt the last time I accepted prompts, because I have more roylum fics on ao3 than I do cake fics lol

i will finish unmute someday! it is open on my computer right now. genuinely when i say that i'm almost constantly thinking about it and gradually working on it, i am almost constantly thinking about it and gradually working on it. unfortunately, my inspiration for fics doesn't stick around for very long, and i am not a very fast writer. there are a few other complications for this particular fic (there's a huge amount of research, ensuring that there's consistency and a narrative through-line is difficult with something this long, somehow every chapter seems to have more words than the last, this entire year has been rough for writing for me, I have a lot of other projects to focus on, and luke's character is really difficult to write in this particular story right now because he's going through a lot of things and has a lot of feelings that i have absolutely no experience in), but unmute will never be abandoned. i will finish it. it is going to take significantly longer than anyone anticipated, including me. you will get the next chapter by the end of the year

my day has been pretty good! i'm just chilling, so i had breakfast and lazed around and now the first episode of firefly is on tv, which is cool because i like that show a lot! and my dad just made me a blt!

yay i'm glad you enjoy the @5sos-fic-exchange!!! i always love seeing the readers of the fandom get excited for posting day! unfortunately there will not be a winter round this year (we are no longer biannual :'( ) but there will be a songfic fest over at @5sos-fic-fest and the exchange might return next summer!

I've been very surprised over how popular The Catch is! I didn't anticipate this response at all, but I'm glad that you enjoyed it!

Thanks for stopping by!

sleepover!!!

[baby-bearie]

no regrets

a lot of almost john b x reader, but ends with jj x reader

tags: @sunflowermotel @howdyherron @drew-starkey @maraseavey @outerbanqs @yelyahryan @loveylangdon @obxwriterfan @avashroom @rewindlr @raekenliar @ceruleanjj @dolanfivsosxox @heyhargrove @lashtonandmalumsbaby @beautyandthebleh @pancahke @outrbank @kiarasflowr @adoreyoudrews @myjjbaby @jjmaebank @corleigh @poguemacking @kristineee-obx @jjtheangel @maybe-maybanks @5sos-seavey @pixelated-pogues @shawnssongs @thorsangel @midnightmagicmusings @jjouterbanks @daniel9seavey9 @hopefultrashforanythingreally @trashmouth-jjmaybank @drewtruly @rudys-pankow @spilledtee

a/n: this will be the first of three imagines i’m going to post tonight so i’m sorry about the tags all my mutuals are going to get lol. i know i’m annoying but i had these fully written and edited. two of them will be shorter then normal, but the third will be mildly long.

You never actually met John B. He was just always there. 

His dad had been your mom’s best friend. John B’s mom had him around the same time your mom had you, so you practically grew up together. You did everything together, and basically the whole Cut had been convinced for your whole childhood that eventually, the two of you would get married one day. 

You’d be lying to yourself if you said that sometimes, late at night, lying awake in your bed you didn’t think maybe it could work out. Maybe you could be happy with John B.

He was sweet. And pretty cute for a boy your age. And he knew you better than your whole family combined. 

But you didn’t love him. You didn’t even like him like that. And you knew that you never would. 

Because since you learned what love was, you’ve only loved one boy. 

You actually remember when you met JJ. It was in John B’s house, where you went every single day after school. It was the 3rd grade, and you had missed the bus waiting for John B. When you finally went to his house to chew him out, you found JJ too. 

One lopsided smile and you were a goner. 

The three of you became a force to be reckoned with. You made a pact with them. No regrets. 

Right now, you were regretting letting your friends into your house.  

They knocked again on your bedroom door. 

“Why are you locking your door? What do you need to be doing in there that this door is locked?” JJ yelled, making you roll your eyes. 

“I don’t know, how about changing?” You hollered back at him. 

“She’s lying, there’s probably a guy in there,” John B laughed, before adding, “or are there like 5?”

“Remind me to beat you up later.” “As if Y/n would ever be with anybody other than her future prince, Prince John B.” 

JJ’s high pitched introduction of Prince John B doesn’t make you laugh, but it gets one from John. 

You skip a beat for a second, always disappointed that JJ still thinks you’d ever like John B like that. 

“Hey, what’s taking you guys forever?” You hear Kiara’s voice from behind the door. 

“Ms. Routledge is taking forever. Ask her.” 

Kiara rolls her eyes but knocks on the door. “Y/n, it’s already nearly 12. John B can barely drive as it is, how much better do you think he’ll be in the dark?” 

You open the door to the cheers of your friends, who shove you past the snack bags you wanted to bring and out the door. 

The plan tonight is to head out to the Boneyard. No party or anything, just the five of you chilling out there. 

Kiara is completely right. 

John B sucks at driving, and he’s even worse when it’s dark out. 

You make it there in one piece, and you pull out a folding lawn chair for yourself. You came prepared.

You still weren’t prepared for John B to crash into it the moment you set it down. 

“Dude, outta my chair,” you groan. “Come on, we’ll split it,” he bargains, and you agree, crashing into the tiny space he’s allotted to you, and throwing your legs over the side of the chair. 

You completely miss the way JJ flinches. 

Pope suggests a game of truth or dare, and the rest of you agree. 

Questions are passed around,  and eventually it’s your 5th or 6th turn. 

Pope rubs his hands together. “Alright, Y/n, if you were being forced to date a pogue, who would it be?”

Kiara and John B boo at Pope’s question, saying it’s already obvious. JJ is silent, his eyes are locked on your face. He’s waiting for you to say something. 

Your mouth opens without thinking, and you realize that the name about to come out of your mouth is JJ’s. You backtrack for a second, and later than you should’ve, reply with, “John B, of course. Who else?” 

JJ nods, and he suddenly seems to find the sand in front of him very interesting. 

It’s early morning now, and Kiara, JJ and Pope are laying on the shoreline. You and John B have remained in your singular seat. 

He pokes your side. 

“So, when were you going to tell me?” 

You snap your gaze away from JJ and up at your friend. “Tell you what?”

“Tell me you’d date me.” He smiles. 

“Figured you’d already know, apparently everybody but us does.” 

“So, you for sure love me? You know, like that?” 

You hesitate, but tell him yes. You don’t know why. You tell yourself this is who you’re meant to be, but you just lied to John B to end up here. 

“Well, I love you , like that. Maybe we should be dating.” 

Your eyes are wide now. You didn’t expect this response. Not at all. You’d thought maybe he’d take it slow. 

“And you can come live with me permanently, and we can do all the dating things- “Okay, fine, I don’t.” 

“Don’t?” John B’s smile is peaceful and that’s how you know he’s toying with you. 

“I don’t love you. Not like that.” 

“There she is. What did you think you were doing, trying to lie to me like that. As if I don’t know the way you rub your nose when you lie.” You gasp. “ I do not!” 

“You just did!” You both laugh, but when it dies down, John B has become solemn again. 

“I know you really well, Y/n. And I know something’s been off about you and I recently. Is something up?”

“Well, there’s this guy- “Who?” 

“What?” “Well, if you’re leaving me for some guy I want to know who it is.” He laughs at your confused expression. 

“I can’t really tell you.” “Y/n, that’s basically code for ‘you know him’. Who is it?” 

For the slightest second, the thinnest sliver of time, your eyes dart over to JJ. 

“No fucking way.” John B’s voice is coated in disbelief. “JJ?”

You groan, covering your face with your palms. “Fuck you and your weird ability to read me.”

“JJ? Our JJ? Since when?” John’s voice is a mixture of surprise and sadness. 

“Since like 9 years ago.” You don’t take your face from your hands. You don’t want to see the look on John B’s face. 

“Well, shit. Does he know?” 

“No,” you watch JJ laugh at something Kiara said. He catches your eye and salutes you, then makes a heart sign at the two of you.  “And you can’t tell him!” You look at John now, grabbing his shoulder for emphasis. 

“My lips are sealed, Ms. Maybank.” “Shut up.”

You both sit in silence, taking in the fact that John B finally knows, and he doesn’t hate you for it. 

“John B?” 

“Hmm?”

“Did you mean what you said?” A realization dawns upon you suddenly. “Do you love me?” 

John B nods, smiling softly. His eyes are sad and your mouth parts. You didn’t know you’d hurt him like this.

“I do love you. I have. But, I think a good chunk of me always knew you weren’t mine to love.” 

You rest your head on his chest now. You feel like you’re going to cry. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You deserve someone who will love you. I’m sorry I can’t give you that.” 

He shakes his head. “It’s not your fault. No regrets, right? You deserve someone you love, too. You’re welcome for this, by the way.” John B stands up, forcing you up too. Before you can comprehend what he just said, he calls out to the others. 

“Kiara, Pope, let me give you a ride home. You, stay here and I’ll be back in like 15 minutes for you. You have some talking to do.” John B winks at you before following Kiara and Pope towards the van. 

You turn to look at JJ who looks rather confused. “What was that all about?”

“Uh, J, I need to talk to you.” 

JJ’s face twists into one of concern. 

“J, I, shit, I love you.” You blurt out. No regrets. 

“What?” JJ’s voice comes out high and squeaky. His eyebrows are high, his eyes are wide and he looks like someone just told him mermaids were real. 

“I love you,” you repeat, quieter this time. You hear no response from JJ, and when you look at him, you’re instead met by a kiss. 

He rushes into it, cupping your face in both hands. You pull away, studying his face. 

Is this real? His eyes stare right back into yours. This is real. 

You kiss him again, and it feels so freeing, better than you ever imagined it would be. 

He pulls away and rests his forehead on yours. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for that.” He breathes out. 

“No regrets?” You smile. 

“No regrets.”

[igarbagecannoteven]

NINE! TWENTY SIX ! SEVEN!

HELLO! ksdjflksjd thanks for sending these in! i hope you're having a good day!!

9. thoughts on cliffhangers? a funky fun plot device! i'm not really one to use them myself, mostly because my writing generally doesn't lend to it, but i think they're a classic for a reason. i mean, honestly i don't feel super strongly either way, but as long as they aren't used as a cheap out then i think they're a good way to leave the reader wanting more.

26. what would you describe as ooc (out of character)? like, in 5sos fic? because then the answer is basically every fic i've read lol, and not just because of the whole "falling in love with your bandmate" thing. idk maybe i think of fanfic, specifically rpf, differently from other people but i don't write it to try to portray how i think the band members would act in specific situations, because that's an impossible task! we don't really know them! also, while it is of course possible to write fully fleshed-out, three dimensional characters and many 5sos fic writers do this, they will never be living, breathing people because real people are always a little unpredictable, even if you do know them extremely well. i write rpf for multiple reasons, but the main one is that it offers a certain amount of freedom in interpretation that writing fic for fictional characters doesn't, precisely because of the fact that real people are constantly growing and changing and doing unexpected things! if i focused on whether or not something was ooc when reading or writing fic i would drive myself up a wall lol.

7. your favorite ao3 tag? oooo i've never thought about that! you know, a tag that i really like even though i normally don't enjoy reading the kind of fic it's tagging is "dead dove do not eat". i just love that people took a moment from a tv show and turned it into something that means a completely different thing! like, i don't even know the show or context that it comes from, but i know exactly what that tag means. i've only read one fic tagged "dead dove do not eat", but another reason i like how it also shows the author's understanding of the fic's contents if that makes sense? idk i just tend to trust a fic writer who uses that tag more even if i don't read the fic, if that makes sense

writing asks!

[blackthornfaery]

thank you to the one and only @marilyn-monroes-jeans for tagging me <3

1. how did you choose your url?

one of my favorite cicely mary barker flower fairies is the blackthorn fairy, i think she’s so pretty and she looks like me when i had my natural hair color

2. any side blogs?

@vivaciouslady is my old hollywood/vintage blog and @tiredfaery is my side/personal that i post random stuff on, mostly things i want to save for later like recipes or witchy stuff

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

oh boy a while, since august, 2013. back in those days this was a total tumblr girl 1D 5sos zoella acacia brinley justgirlythings blog lolol then it was a soft grunge blog for a lonnnng time and then it sat relatively dormant for a couple years until I changed the url to blackthornfaery in june, 2018 and made it into what it is now. i don’t even think of this as those other blogs anymore because i got all but 100 of my followers after i made the switch 5 years after i originally made the blog lol BUT if you scroll back far enough you’ll get some mad 2014 nostalgia posts

4. do you have a queue tag?

no, i’m on mobile most of the time and it’s just so much easier to press and tap without opening up the post to edit sorryyyyy

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

well originally i was just really into all those things i mentioned earlier but as far as changing it to blackthornfaery i just really liked how safe and cozy the whole cottagecore, gardencore, etc. aesthetics felt and even though i have always loved the stuff i post about now (like pride and prejudice and beatrix potter) i’d never really made them a part of my personality that i shared and i wanted to change that. then a few months after i changed the blog something really terrible and tragic happened to me and i needed a safe calm space even more than ever and seeing all these lovely little cottages and garden and picnic baskets is that for me

as for @vivaciouslady i just really really love old hollywood

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because i love anne of green gables, especially megan follows as anne

on @vivaciouslady it’s a picture of julie andrews in her broadway days, need i say more? i love her

7. why did you choose your header

i see pretty countryside i click. also it matches the background of the anne picture

on @vivaciouslady it’s a gif of my favorite film… wait for it… Vivacious Lady (1938)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

this moodboard for the name “heidi” that someone requested has nearly 6.5k notes which is a bit insane because i think it’s very pretty but it was one of the first ones i made and i think i have made some even better ones in the past few weeks

9. how many mutuals do you have?

oh god i have no idea, maybe like 100 or 200 across this blog and my old hollywood blog? possibly way more… i follow over 1000 people and i’m not exactly sure how to check lol

10. how many followers do you have?

on here i have 7,827, on @vivaciouslady i have 1,281

11. how many people do you follow

exactly 1,111 (and this is on number 11 as well? this is destined to be a sign)

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

no, i don’t think so

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

for at least an hour or so, except for when i took over a monthlong hiatus a bit ago

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

no, people in this community are pretty peaceful, and so am i

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

i absolutely do NOT! i have reposted so many “immunity” posts in my life that i never have to take those seriously again, even if i am superstitious

16. do you like tag games?

yes! i think they’re fun ways to get to know the people behind the blog

17. do you like ask games

yes i love them, especially the ones with niche, lovely questions

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

oh gosh i don��t know, i’m not really sure that term even pertains to anyone in the cottagecore and vintage communities because our blogs are often so specific that no matter how many followers someone has i don’t think they can be classed as “famous”, especially not the way tumblr fame used to be back in 2014 and stuff

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

sorry my loves i don’t know any of you that well lol

tagging: anyone who would like to do this!! (please tag me if you do, i’d love to see your answers)

[alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer]

I'm tempted to send you the most heterosexual kinds of songs just to make this difficult on you 😂

But instead here is the last 3 songs I listened to and you can pick or something?

Want you back by 5SOS

Last Chance by Emily Kinney

Everything or Nothing by Picture This

(I love all of these songs btw! I hope you like them at least?)

please lol feel free, I'm up for a challenge! okay:

this is 100% slightly AU alastair to thomas. if they had an actual thing before the truth about the rumors came out??? just,,,

Wish I could say something / Something that doesn't sound insane / But lately, I don't trust my brain / You tell me I won't ever change / So I just say nothing

also the reference to freckles!thomas in the second verse?? and the roses on his shirt is a nod to the compass rose tattoo.

this feels like sanctuary scene to me!! when thomas finally gives in and demands an explanation from alastair!! if there was a TLH TV show I would want it playing while they kiss. also the broken rings in the first verse feels like a reference to alastair's broken family/home life. and the whole "the world is going to end tonight" is a very shadowhunter mood

this is a whooooole thomas mood!! just!!!:

And did I really fucking love you / Or just the image in my head? / The one that I had painted of you / I'm gonna love you 'til I'm dead

thomas confronting how he idealized alastair!!! and the nod to thomas' art!!

the year could be in reference to the year since Paris, or this could be ambiguously set in the future. I do think "don't give this love up, you'll never get it back" is a very alastair sentiment. the possibilities!

all excellent song choices, thank you!!

send me a song & I'll make it about thomastair

[katierosefun]

andddd july flew by, and i’m here to give everyone an unasked for report of...things...i watched / read / listened to this month because why not

kdramas: 

miss hammurabi

aaaah oh my god the way i told myself that i won’t be watching any more legal kdramas because your honor stressed me out so much--but god. i wound up watching this and fell in love with it so fast? miss hammurabi is about a rookie judge (the gal on the right) disrupting the judicial system with her strong sense of justice. i really wasn’t too sure if i’d like her, but oh god. i fell in love with her so fast, with her desire to make the world a better place and her ability to smile even though she’s had a horrific life of her own.

honestly, i really just loved this show, mostly for how it covers so many issues in the courthouse, from working overtime to the emotional fatigue to the frustrations with those brought to court to the actual cases themselves, which are all civil court things (so we get some stuff about sexual harassment, child custody, medical malpractice, etc). this show really demonstrated that each of these cases were important--and also...really hard-hitting. i think i cried at least once per episode just because...yeah. i’m reminded that no one goes to the courthouse because they’re happy or because they’re having a good time, and it really is the job of judges and lawyers to keep a cool head and execute justice the best they can. 

so basically: i loved this show. i loved it a lot more than i thought i would, and that’s always a good thing. there’s also not a whole ton of romance here either, if you’re looking for a show that’s not really too deep into that. it’s def. more focused on depicting the legal field, as well as all of the complications that come with that. as a result, there’s a lot of heartbreaking moments in the show, but there’s also many, many, many uplifting ones that reminded me a lot of why i personally want to enter the legal field. so if you’re looking for a show that might restore your faith in humanity, then i def. recommend this kdrama!

beyond evil 

so.....it’s no secret that i’ve been mildly obsessed with this show. i binge-watched it in the span of...i think four (4) days, so that’s averaging about four episodes (4 hours) a day. let me just say...i was kind of on the fence about watching this, but now i’m really glad that i did because whooo boy, i was in for a ride. basically, this show is about lee dong sik, who was accused of murdering his sister (amongst others) 20 years ago...and han ju won, the young detective / inspector who’s trying to track down the murderer (who he believes is lee dong sik). 

lots of other things happen, but that’s the least spoiler-y summary i can give of this show because....whooooo boy, there’s just so many twists and turns in this show? as soon as you start thinking you have everything figured out, this show tosses in another thing that reminds you of just how clueless you actually are. that said though, none of the twists felt out of place--they all felt very planned and very smart, so kudos to the writers for that! 

overall, i hella enjoyed this show--the plot, the characters (who all want to do the right thing, but they’re all very jaded in their own ways which makes being a 100% good person basically impossible in this monster of a town), and, of course, the relationship between dong sik and ju won. there was just an absolutely fascinating push and pull between their relationship, lots of distrust and mocking each other in the beginning...only to slowly but steadily grow into trust and respect for each other (and in my head, def. something more....but lol i’ll let you guys decide on that for yourself ;)) 

i.....genuinely loved this show. i found this show just incredibly smartly written, and all the characters were incredibly intriguing? and the relationships were all fascinating to me? just. god. this show ripped me apart so many times, and i loved it all the more for it. like. guys. i wrote or started writing about six fics for this show in the span of 48 hours because i love it that much.

movies:

the handmaiden

ohohoho this movie has been on my to watch list for the LONGEST TIME, and i was glad that i gave myself some time to watch this movie at the start of the month, because...whoooo boy, it was so good. this movie is inspired by the book the fingersmith by sarah waters, only whereas i think the book took place in victorian england, this movie takes place in japan-occupied-korea. sook hee, a pickpocket, is hired by a conman to persuade the secluded lady hideko to marry him. the conman plans to later inherit hideko’s wealth and send hideko off to the madhouse. 

many things happen over the course of this movie, and i’m not going to spoil anything, but oh boy...oh boy. i mean, this movie is pretty well-known for the main relationship between the two protagonists, sook hee and hideko. the romance was such a ride, and i thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of it. this movie really said “be gay, do crime” in the best way possible. 

as a quick warning though, this movie definitely is erotic. i kinda knew that heading into the movie, and i was still a little caught off-guard. so maybe if you’re a little squicked out by sex/erotica in general, i’d maybe skip over this movie. that said, this movie was beautifully filmed, with beautiful writing, and the cast was just perfect. i don’t think i’ve seen a movie so beautifully or smartly crafted like this before, and i’m very glad i watched this film. 

the meg

let me caveat by saying....i watched this because my brother wanted to watch it, so i sat through this movie and...y’know? it wasn’t awful. kinda predictable as far as shark movies go, but it wasn’t bad! i found myself enjoying it a little more than i thought i would...? but basically, this movie is about, you guessed it, an underwater research facility that was just looking into a deeper part of the ocean and etc. surprise, they found! a megalodon. multiple megalodons! cue the chaos. 

so...there were definitely some more suspenseful moments. i shouted “these people just KEEP FALLING OFF THE BOAT” a few times. there was one character who i was like “oh man he’s gonna be the villain isn’t he :( darn :(” to “oh hey he has a heart” to “oh never mind” to “ooph”. there were some more slightly emotional moments, but?? not particularly thought-provoking or impactful. so like? overall? it was one of those movies where like....it’s not bad, it’s not really good, but! hey, not all movies need to be incredibly deep to be even somewhat enjoyable! (and like, i mostly just enjoyed watching this movie because my brother and i cracked commentary all throughout it, much to my father’s chagrin.) 

music: 

so, apparently my music taste changes when i’m thinking about something that’s not star wars related, and i saw a bit of that when i was making this playlist for lee dong sik and han joo won from beyond evil. as spotify works, it wound up with me adding a few of my songs that i thought fit them, and then i wound up going into the radio part of my playlist and listening to a lot of new songs, and i just have to list some of my new faves here: 

let me follow by son lux: you know when you hear a song that just feels so...strangely cinematic? like, you get all kinds of vivid images in your head and stuff? this was def. one of those songs. it’s quiet, and there’s something weirdly...ephemeral about it? that’s the only way i can describe it. and mildly haunting. and mildly tragic. idk why, but i think big fans of tragedy & the patroclus/achilles kind of feel might like this song. it’s just. god. i spent 2 hours sitting in my bed just listening to this song on loop. 

not in the same way by 5 seconds of summer: this is a public scolding @ 15 year old me who thought it was lame to like 5sos just because they were getting popular. boo, 15 year old caroline and her “i’m a weirdo, i’m not like other girls or other people my age” phase! because 5sos actually slaps, and this was one of my fave songs? idk. another weirdly cinematic song. the refrain is just chef’s kiss, in the kind of rambly way that leads to a shout. i love that kind of stuff. 

start of time by gabrielle aplin. bro...the way gabrielle aplin’s voice brought me straight back to 2014-2016 era caroline...but weirdly, i haven’t heard this song from her before? and bro. bro....i’ve never wanted to run to the top of a hill and watch the sunrise with a loved one so bad in my whole life. god. idk. if you need a song that makes you feel like. things just might get better. this one’s for you. 

sedated by hozier: okay, so i’ve only ever listened to a handful of hozier songs in my whole life (i know, i know, how can i bicon like myself not listen to hozier 24/7? le sigh), but bro.....bro. i get it now. i get why people screech about hozier. i already liked his music before, but...ah. idk. something very powerful about this song. i now understand why people want to lie down in the middle of the woods when they listen to his music. 

[dearwriterciera]

Not In the Same Way (Spencer Reid x Reader )

a/n: ok so since I stan 5SOS and Spencer I figured I would write a short little story based on their new song Not in the Same Way. This is part of the little writing challenge I put on myself. I’ll link the list so you can see the other parts as well! 

Pairing: y/n x Spencer Reid

Warnings: fighting, breakup, depression, alcoholism, 

Summary: Spencer and Y/N have been getting into arguments a lot recently, and they’ve both been avoiding the inevitable, until Spencer sees a side to Y/N that he had only heard about. 

Words: 1855

a/n: I’ve been really sad recently so I figured I would get my feelings out the only way I know. I’m not going to lie, this one made me so sad to write. I almost cried but i’m also super emotional right now anyways lol i hope you guys enjoy it! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things between you and Spencer had been...rough these past few weeks to say at the least. Every little thing that happens turns into an argument between you two and it was starting to cause you a lot of stress. Just yesterday you guys literally had a fight over dinner, which resulted in you guys eating in two separate rooms, two separate meals, when you guys usually eat together and talk about your days. 

You had to admit all this fighting and things changing is making your usually pretty tame depression go wild. Whenever you got majorly depressed you would drink, a side of you Spencer had never seen. You wanted to keep it that way but sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to. 

You were home alone, Spencer was gone on a case so you knew that you’d have days to figure out how to talk about you guy’s last arguement, but, for now it was time for another session of binge drinking. You got up on the counter, pulling the bottle of vodka off the top shelf and set it down beside you. You slid off the counter carefully before grabbing a shot glass and a can of Dr. Pepper as a chaser. Looking down at the items in front of you made you let out a loud sigh. 

“Back to square one.” You mumbled to yourself as you poured vodka into the glass, setting the vodka back down and opening the Dr. Pepper. After very little debating, you threw the shot of vodka back, the burn hitting your throat almost instantly as you swallow the clear liquid, before you take a drink of Dr. Pepper. Setting both the shot glass and the can down, you place both hands on the counter and lean over it a bit. This had become such a familiar thing to you, you didn’t even question it anymore. You just went with it. 

After 5 more shots of the same repeated cycle, you set them down again, but as you stared at the counter all you could think about was the last fight you guys had, right before Spencer left for work. 

 “Hey, Spence, have you seen my phone?” You asked, walking into the living room of you guy’s shared apartment. Walking in you immedately saw he was on your phone, going through it. You didn’t have anything to hide of course, you loved Spencer, but you were hurt, you weren’t going to lie. You walked over to the couch he was sitting on and raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms, “Can I help you find something?” 

Spencer looked up from your phone and instantly became flustered, dropping it onto the floor as he began speaking, “Wait, y/n, I’m sorry!” He practically pleaded. You leaned down and picked up your phone, sliding it into your pocket, 

“Did you find anything you were looking for?” You asked, your voice was not very forgiving, he could tell you were mad..no..furious. You’ve never done anything to make Spencer think he couldn’t trust you, and you would never invade his privacy like that so why he felt the need to invade yours was..beyond words. 

“It’s not what it looks like, babe, I swear.” He defended himself, standing up from the couch and turning towards you.

“Enlighten me then because from where I’m standing, it looks a whole lot like you going through my phone to find something, ANYTHING, that would make you want to leave me.” You said, your voice was filled with anger, you were on the verge of shaking if you were being honest. Spencer’s face was filled with guilt, confusion, and a hint of anger himself. This was common recently so it didn’t phase him. 

“Y/n, that’s literally crazy.. I wasn’t looking for a reason to leave you.” He started his argument, “I was just..curious.” 

“OH! Oh, my bad, you were just curious, my mistake.” You shot back, sarcastically, Spencer frowned,

“You’re being ridiculous.” 

“No, you know what’s ridiculous, you not trusting me to the point you had to go through my phone. Spencer, I have done NOTHING to show you that you cannot trust me. That’s so fucking low. If something is bothering you, you can talk to me, you don’t have to go through my personal stuff.” You rose your voice a little at the end, 

“Can I? Can I really talk to you about anything these days without you starting a fight over it?” He shot back, 

“Me? Spencer, you’re the one who gets angry at me for breathing half the time.” 

You were pulled from your memories as you heard the front door opening. Despite trying to quickly hide everything, you failed. Spencer walked into the kitchen and saw you causing you to freeze and looked at him. 

“Y/N, are you..drunk?” He asked, worried as he walked over to you, helping you put everything in the correct place before walking over to you,

“You weren’t supposed to be home yet.” you slurred your words together but Spencer was usually good at figuring it out. He held onto you as he guided you towards the bedroom. You were okay with it until you remembered what he did to you so you stopped in your tracks, 

“Don’t touch me.” You said, shaking him off you, but you immediately began to wobble and fall, until he grabbed onto you again.

“Let me help you.” He whispered, and you caved and let him take you back to the bedroom. As he got you into bed, he sat on the bed, next to you for a moment, in silence, before he spoke, 

“I had to come back for a file but I’ll be back by the time you wake up, okay?” He talked softly and you nodded, slowly drifting in and out of tiredness. You were completely out before Spencer had even left the bed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Waking up, your head was banging. You don’t remember ever getting into bed, until you look over at the nightstand and there’s a cup of water, medicine, and a note. You smile faintly as you reach over and take the medicine and take a drink of the water to chase the pill. You pick up the note and read it, 

We really need to talk. I’ll be home in the morning. 

Spencer

You knew what was coming. You knew what was waiting for you the moment Spencer got home and you prayed he would get held up on a case and would be home late, but you also knew that would help nothing. You spent the rest of the time, sitting in bed, anxiously scrolling through your phone. Spencer sent you a text when he was on his way home but you didn’t reply. 

Way too soon for your liking, you heard the front door open and you drug yourself out of bed. Slowly and carefully you walked out of the bedroom and you instantly caught Spencer’s look. He looked so tired, so stressed, so drained, and you felt like you were part, if not the whole reason. He motioned for you guys to sit on the couch and you followed, sitting on the couch next to him. Being this close to him gave you a perfect sight of how dark the skin under his eyes actually was like he hadn’t been sleeping. His hair was messier, way messier than normal like he’d been running his fingers through it constantly. 

“Y/N, I know that you’ve felt it too..the  tension between us, the constant yelling and arguing.” He started, and you nodded, you didn’t trust yourself to not cry if you opened your mouth. He continued, “I didn’t know how bad it was affecting you, until last night.” He whispered softly, he turned his gaze down to the ground, “I never wanted to be the reason that you drink again, that was never something I wanted.” 

You reached over and grabbed his hand slowly, for comfort, but he slowly and hesitantly pulled his hand away. You retracted your hand back into your lap, the tears were definitely falling now. 

“Spencer..please.” was all you could manage to get out. 

“Yesterday, when I was going through your phone I wasn’t lying when I said I wasn’t looking for a reason to leave..but I was looking for a reason to stay.” He confessed, looking up at you again. You felt your heart shatter. As he looked at you, even through your blurry vision, you could tell he was on the verge of tears as well. 

“Did..did you find one?” You asked, sniffling and wiping your tears away off your cheek. You knew the answer because if I was what you wanted the answer to be, you wouldn’t be sat here having this talk. 

“No,” Spencer whispered as he began to break down in front of you. You couldn’t help yourself from leaning over and pulling him into a hug. He wasted no time wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close to him. You guys had been each other’s rocks for so long, you didn’t know anything else. 

You guys were like that for well over an hour. Just sitting there, in each other’s arms, crying. Maybe you guys were just putting off the hardest part, but you didn’t care. Finally, you pulled away and Spencer let go as well. You moved back on the cushion of the couch you were originally sat on. You wiped your tear stain cheeks with your hands, before reaching over and wiping his away next. 

“I love you, Spencer, so much. So fucking much.” You started, “and I know you love me just the same amount but, we don’t love each other in the same way.” 

“I know,” His voice was raspy and quiet from crying. 

“You’ve been drinking, I haven’t been sleeping, this isn’t good for us anymore.” He admitted, 

“I know,” You said, your voice barely a whisper. 

“This is goodbye.” 

“I know,” 

Neither of you moved. Neither of you knew what to do. Who was going where, who was supposed to stay in this apartment that you’ve shared all your memories together in? You eventually stood up, 

“I’m going to call my sister,” you said before walking out of the living room back into the bedroom. You didn’t explain anything as you asked her to come pick you up and you packed a bag. Carrying the bag out of the room, you enter the living room again, Spencer is still on the couch, he hadn’t moved an inch. You walked over to the front door, and pulled your keys from your purse, you took the key to the apartment off your keyring and placed it on the table next to the door, 

“Goodbye, Spencer.” You said before opening the door and walking out. As you closed the door behind you, once it was closed fully, that’s when it fully hit you. You were never going to see the love of your life again and god, that was the most soul-crushing thing you’ve ever experienced. 

[in-superbloom]

hi!! if you’re still doing the album asks: walls (louis tomlinson) and 5sos self titled? 💖 hope you have a great day!

alison hai !!! absolutely, thank you for sending this 🥺💜 hope you're having an amazing day my love 💖

walls - louis tomlinson

the first song from this album I heard: kill my mind, my beloved <3 on probably the worst day of my 2019, mind you lmao

do I own the album?: nope

my favorite song: do i really gotta choose 😔 *sighs* okay: kill my mind, walls, habit, fearless & only the brave 💛

my least favorite song: perfect now ✌🏻😗

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: don't let it break your heart. it's actually a fav now <3

a song I used to like, but now don’t: i mean, none, but i'm not as invested in too young as i used to be lol

my favorite lyric: hehe i'm glad you asked 😌

life gets hard and it gets messed up / when you give so much, but it's not enough / when the high's too high and the low's too low / when you love someone and they let you go // don't you let it kill you / even when it hurts like hell / oh, whatever tears you apart / don't let it break your heart – don't let it break your heart

but you once told me “don't give up, you can do it day by day” // i'll be living one life for the two of us – two of us

these high walls never broke my soul – walls

i always said that i'd mess up eventually / i told you that, so what did you expect from me? // i took some time 'cause i've ran out of energy / of playing someone i heard i'm supposed to be – habit

tell me the truth / tell me, do you still remember feeling young / and strong enough to get it wrong / in front of all these people? – fearless

and i can't get inside, when you're lost in your pride / but you don't have a thing to prove – defenceless

tall stories on the page / short glories on the fade // it's a church of burnt romances / and i'm too far gone to pray / it's a solo song / and it's only for the brave – only the brave

overall rating out of 10: yes i am incapable of rating my fav albums anything but 10/10, no that's not gonna change 💜

5 seconds of summer - 5sos

the first song from this album I heard: technically, it was she looks so perfect, but that was a million years ago & i don't have that memory saved in my brain so let's say amnesia 😌

do I own the album?: no

my favorite song: don't stop <3 lmao jk, everything i didn't say & amnesia

my least favorite song: half of the album lmao it's true tho, i only know the lyrics of half of the songs bc i just can't bring myself to listen to some of these 🤭 i'm sorry but technically i met them as a 20-years-old, so you can't blame me ✌🏻😌

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: good girls 🤷🏻‍♀️ cringey as hell but it's a fun song 😌

a song I used to like, but now don’t: uh, none i think? i knew this would be a wild ride when i first listened to it, so my expectations weren't high at all 🤭

my favorite lyric: may i just say amnesia & go? lmao no, really 👁👁

overall rating out of 10: ehh 6,5/10, just for the whole nostalgic feeling around it

send me an album to rate !! <3

[bandsanitizer]

For soft and simple asks: 2 (but I already know the answer 😌), 10, 22 !!

hi kristen!!! thanks for the questions 💖

2. What is your favorite color?

I don’t know what you’re talking about *hides my phone, pencil case, pencils, highlighter, umbrella, water bottle, notebook, various clothing items, and changes my entire blog*

I actually went a while pretending my favorite color was black so I could stick with the whole Aesthetic I wanted as a teenager listening to 5sos and their inspirations (as well as having a Nirvana shirt thing from F21 when I’ve listened to like 2 songs by the band?) and then there was that whole “I want to be different” moment where I refused to say purple was my favorite (despite everyone knowing) bc that was my grandma’s favorite color for a while LOL but yes, as you know, PURPLE is my favorite color and my mom has somehow never been convinced otherwise

10. What is something you’re in love with?

Answered here but I love lots of things so here’s a different answer!!!

I love poetry!!! I love how it means something different to different people! That it functions differently between poets and readers and audiences! I love all it’s different forms! I love the power that poetry has. I love how it can transform and move and break and bend and express and protect and reveal so many things. I love what it means to the people who write it and the people who hear it. I love that anyone can write poetry, honestly, and with that I do dislike the notion of poetry being snobby or something. Also the notion that it’s meant only for romance or whatever. I love that poetry is whatever the poets wants it to be and bc it’s full of figurative language and such, it’s shapes and shifts with each person it is shared with. And yet it can mean and be interpreted so similarly between people. Poetry is just !!! I love it!!!!

22. What do you like most about nature?

I don’t??? Nah nah. I love that nature is… unpredictable. I love that symmetry is pretty unnatural, that things are naturally unbalanced but balanced. I love how environments and ecosystems exist in this way where they work and adapt within themselves. I love how so much can live and exist together!

I also really fucking love the Fibonacci sequence. Like that shit is so cool. And so are magnetic fields. Magnets & magnetic forces in general. Forces in general really. S C I E N C E

[faedawayyy]

I WANT THE SKI LODGE/THIS CHRISTMAS TO REALLY KICK OFF ALL OF MY CHARACTERS IN INTERESTING AND NEW AND DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS. LIKE I WANT TO REVIVE THE RP DAYS WHERE WE WEREN’T SO SCARED ABOUT KEEPING SHIPS AND MORE INTERESTED IN BEING DRAMATIC HOES AND HAVING AMAZING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. SO LMK IF ANY OF THESE SUIT YOU? BUT ALSO PLS DON’T JUST TAKE ALL THE GUY ONES.

THIS IS POST 1: CHARACTERS THAT I CONSIDER O.G’S AND I’M TAKING THEM IN DIRECTIONS THAT MAAAAAYYYYYYBEEEE AREN’T AS STEREOTYPICAL...VERY FEW OF THESE INVOLVE LIKE, CHEATING OR SLEEPING AROUND.

DALLAS 

he’s had a good 3 years of being in relationship and girl drama and having that just doesn’t...make sense...anymore? like him and zara definitely have things they need to work through but i think he’s found someone he really likes and isn’t even looking into everybody else. 

HOWEVER, now that he’s with her, i think his family’s financial situation will become even more desperate bc they’re bankrupt and the calloway’s are like r i c h. so.... 

- SOMEONE HE’S LOANING A LOT OF $$$ FROM: yes, he makes lots from his singing career but his parents are in huge debt and on top of that, there’s margo’s rehab fees and spending problem. everything dallas has earned since his first album has gone to fixing his family and it just hasn’t happened yet. maybe he reaches out to someone over christmas for a big loan and they give it to him, without realising he has literally no plans on paying them back. if they’re going to be nice about it, i dont want it. i want tension w this.  - DIRTY WORK: he’s obviously been a drug dealer before. i’m happy for him to go down that route but again, anyone who is maybe from a sketchy family, dallas would be happy to do their dirty work for them if the price is right. maybe someone knows his family’s situation and takes advantage of this. again, i rly don’t want people being really nice about it.

BRODY 

he’s obviously, officially a dad now. i don’t think the pressure is getting to him, but the whole idea that this is his life forever definitely is. i’m always on the fence with him because he LOVES disney and nobody comes close. affairs just seem a bit old for him, but he still definitely fucks up now and then and i think i’m going to give him a bit of a partying/being out/spending addiction. sooooooo....

- PEOPLE WHO PARTY/GO OUT WITH HIM: think like, wolf of wallstreet or ‘the man’ music video by taylor swift. i think fake friends would definitely come in to play here - people who know he’s wealthy and take advantage of that to have really good nights out and tempt him to just blow tons of money on shit.  ALSO, people using him for publicity and maybe people who sell stories about the wild nights out he has and how much he fucks up/isn’t a great father figure atm.  - FRIENDS WHO COVER FOR HIM - TAKEN BY LEO: they don’t care enough to get him to fix up, but they definitely act as alibi’s and help him to avoid getting into too much shit with disney.

MASON 

i’m reaaalllly liking the idea of mason maybe not being as perfect as he appears on the surface. i think that has slowly started this year but hasn’t been as dramatic as it possibly COULD be. he also has the whole secret of knowing james is alive and nothing has come of that yet, so these are the two directions i want to take him down. SoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO......

- ALLEGED MISTRESSES/FLINGS: mason isn’t brody or leo and it is just natural to him to stay loyal and committed to the person he’s with and obviously, he loves kendall. however, i do think he has a lot of unfinished business with exes (we could also develop new ones if they’re not exes already). we could maybe plot about him rebuilding his relationship with them but it gets misinterpreted and it’s made out as if he’s cheating or something when rly it’d be completely innocent. - SOMEONE WHO CATCHES HIM WITH JAMES AT A SECRET LOCATION - TAKEN BY GISELE: i’d love this one more than ^^^^^^^^ tbh! it’s obviously a hUGE secret that james is alive and mason knows his family won’t forgive him for keeping it a secret if he finds out. this could definitely bring out the nastier side of him and i think he’d even go as far as to blackmail somebody or pay to keep them quiet. we can develop it! 

BLAKE

i struggle SO much with blake because he really is unproblematic. he can be a bit of an idiot but he’s not really into drugs, HE’D NEVER CHEAT, HE’S WITH THE LOVE OF HIS ACTUAL LIFE, and he’s pretty honest and kind for the most part. i’ve had a think, though, and i’ve came up with some of these. SOOOOO.... - MUSIC DRAMA: blake loves 5SOS but i also think his unique style of music is so different from the bands and he’s going to try and explore that in 2021. i kind of want him to work with other artists in the industry and lots of different drama could come out of this:  >> tension with the other 5sos boys and maybe fans who start to fuel rumours that he’s leaving when he isn’t  >> rivalries with some of the more established male artists. dallas would be great for this BUT he’s mine lol >> song-writing credits/arguments. maybe he writes with someone and they don’t feel like they’ve been given enough credit for how much they helped him. i’m very reluctant to do anything with blake’s personal life just bc that really isn’t him. AT THE VERY MOST, maybe some ex relationships for him to base his solo songs around.

HENSLEY

MY BABY IS ENGAGED. WHEN I TELL YOU I THINK I SHED A TEAR FOR HER LAST NIGHT, I’M NOT LYING. SHE’S SPENT THIS WHOLE RP PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY JUST TO BE LIKE “I TOLD YOU SO”....BUT !!!!!!! THINGS ARE CHANGING. ok, here are some ideas i have. these will take a little bit more development but still have a lot of potential.  - AN OLD (TOXIC) FRIENDSHIP REVIVING: there was a time like pre-st judes where hensley was quite off the rails. LIKE, she’d go out, get drunk/high, just not go home for days and i think this all came down to losing autumn in such a weird way....maybe she gets closer to that person again, and they’re a pretty bad influence? i feel like this would put a big strain on all of her healthier relationships. she’ll definitely not stay in the toxic place forever but maybe this friend is kinda passive aggressive like: “oh? you’re getting married? that’s very...not you.” and stuff.  maybe they come from a challenging background too and they were each other’s support systems but it wasn’t a healthy relationship. we could build this up!  - ANY OF EVAN’S EXES/FLINGS: LISTEN BECAUSE SHE IS JUST SO CONVINCED SHE’S NOT THAT EASY TO LOVE, she does find any ex of evan’s threatening no matter what is said or how long ago it was. it’d be interesting to see how that develops bc i think f x f relationships are where hensley’s flaws surface more.

ISSY (TW: RAPE)

OKAY SO PSA: issy is still ruby’s sister but nadine and i have decided to send it back to ruby not knowing that because it was a lot more interesting when it was still a secret. ISSY is still a mum and happy with levi and building her life back up from how damaged it became with her adoptive father in australia. SOOOOO.... - THE FACT SHE’S RUBY’S SISTER - TAKEN BY KENDALL: somebody she opens up to but they’re like “lol ok whatever...no you’re not” and rather than helping her, they think there’s something wrong with her and try to keep her away from ruby bc they think she’s doing it for attention or she’s just some kind of stalker? this would make her feel even less sure about telling ruby. MAYBE said person can kind of tell others that she’s obsessed and it becomes a thing around the academy for a while... - BABY PLOTS: there’s been quite a lot of babies being born. I’D LOVE to do something that maybe gets carried into next gen. maybe issy brings avery on a lot of play dates (when he’s a bit older) with another baby and they jokingly talk about setting their children up? then in next gen, it’ll obviously be up to meg how avery feels about it?

[pixiegrl]

prompts! maybe “I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm, and I didn’t want to wake you.” with maybe malum? it feels like a malum prompt to me

Maggie! I love this so much! @tirednotflirting wrote about a malum wedding last week and it made me think of this! I hope you enjoy it! (also shout out to @pushkinalexander who read it and then yelled at me for never showing her the 5sos dogs lol)

As always, its on ao3 too (https://archiveofourown.org/works/25958740)

Michael is peaceful when he sleeps. It’s nice getting to watch him like this, face relaxed as he nuzzles into his pillow. He looks young and soft, burrowing into the warmth that’s coming off of Calum. He reminds him of Moose like this, hair fluffy and soft, curled up with his head resting on Calum’s arm. Cal has lost the feeling in his arm about 20 minutes ago from where Michael has been laying on it, but he can’t bear to tell Michael to move.

Cal doesn’t want to wake Michael up. He looks so peaceful and this is probably the most sleep either of them have gotten in the last few weeks with the prep going on for Luke and Ashton’s wedding. They’ve been left in charge of all the last minute changes: the freak out Luke had when he realized his suit pants were too short, when Ashton had a meltdown over the flight for his mum, when Lauren and Harry got delayed and he thought it was going to ruin everything. There had been one moment when Luke had called Michael and Ashton had called Calum, the both of them freaking out about the wedding, the possibility that the other doesn’t love him as much, that this whole thing is just a long joke waiting for the punchline. They’d been talked down and reassured that they already have almost 10 years of love between them and the wedding is just an extension of their love. 

Helping them plan their wedding; ironing out the kinks, fixing the problems, had reminded Calum of how much he loves Michael. He’s loved Michael since he was a kid and he loves him even more now, as his boyfriend, getting to watch Michael doing things like scrunch his nose up in his sleep like Moose does or when he yells at his video games or whines when he’s been awake for too long. It’s sweet and wonderful and Calum wants to spend the rest of his life with Michael.

Michael peaks one eye open, looking up at Calum. Calum smiles down at him.

“Morning sweetheart.”

“What ‘ime is it?”

“Almost 8am.”

Michale groans, trying to burrow further back into the pillow. Moose perks up at the end of the bed, realizing that Michael’s awake and excitedly makes her way up the bed to lick Michael’s face. Michael half-heartedly tries to bat her away, giving up and scratching her head when she starts to lick him even harder, tail wagging.

“Why do we have to be up so early?”

“The wedding’s today. We gotta get up and eat something. God knows how long everything is gonna be and when we’ll actually get to eat dinner.”

Michael looks at Calum, wide-eyed and confused. “You mean I’m awake and there isn’t even food yet?”

“I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm, and I didn’t want to wake you.”

Michael whines, flopping onto his back and covering his eyes. Moose gives up her licking, snuggling down into the open space between Michael and Calum. Calum sits up, trying to shake feeling back into his arm.

“If you’re not up in 10 minutes I’m going to send Duke after you,” Calum says, getting up and scooping Duke up from where he’s been sitting at the end of the bed, head cocked to the side, watching them. Michael grumbles, waving his hand at Calum.

Calum sets Duke down once he’s made it to the kitchen, rummaging around to find something he can make that he knows Michael will like and will also stop him from getting hungry and cranky halfway through the ceremony. He sets about trying to make eggs and the tea that Michael’s taken to drink instead of coffee. He gives Michael 5 minutes before he sends Duke in to wake Michael up. He hears a shout from the bedroom and Michael stumbles into the kitchen mumbling that he’s up. Moose and Southy follow closely behind him, barking for breakfast. 

Michael comes up behind Cal, dropping his head down into Calum’s shoulder, and wrapping his arms around Cal’s waist.

“Do you think Luke and Ashton will let me out of the wedding if I tell them I don’t feel good?”

“I think Luke would have a meltdown in the middle of the room and Ashton would immediately hunt you down and drag you to the wedding if you made Luke cry.”

“Can’t I go back to sleep? It’s not even 9am. Why do I have to be up so early?”

“We have a whole day ahead of us. We have to run interference on the set-up. Besides, if you had gone to sleep at a reasonable time instead of playing games all night you wouldn’t be so tired.”

Michael huffs lightly, burying his face into Calum’s neck, and pressing a gentle kiss to Cal’s shoulder. Calum tries to turn his head slightly to press a kiss to the top of Michael’s head and is only vaguely succeeding. Calum can feel Michael smile anyway where his face is still pressed to Calum’s skin.

Standing like this, curled up in each other and making breakfast,  Calum is struck by how domestic it all feels. He’s been doing this with Michael for years ever since the guys moved from London to LA and bought separate places, but it strikes him in that moment how at home he feels doing this. Making breakfast for Michael while he whines about being up so early, getting ready to go see Luke and Ashton. Calum has never felt more comfortable or at peace than he does right now.

“Hey, Mikey?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever thought about getting married?”

Michael lifts his head to look at Calum, “You mean as a concept or as in ‘do I think about us getting married’?” Because my answer depends on the question,”

Calum frowns. Surely, Michael and he are on the same page. They’ve been together since they were fifteen and realized that “just friends” don’t have thoughts about kissing their friends and holding their hand (although 5sos may be unique. Luke’s been holding all of their hands since long before he and Ashton started doing it. He still does it, whining until someone grabs his hand and squeezes it). Calum’s thought about marrying Michael vaguely over the years, but they’d all been too busy between tours and albums to really talk about it. Now, they’re on a break between WWJ and releasing CALM. It’s the perfect time for them to sit down and talk about their future. Calum wants to get married. Wants to be able to wear a ring and show everyone that Michael is his and he is Michael’s. Get to gush about him in interviews and on stage. Get to kiss him in public. Calum thought Michael wanted that too, but now he’s unsure.

“You’re doing it again Cal.”

“Doing what?”

“Overthinking it. You’re doing that thing you do where you take my words and over analyze them until you’ve created the idea of what you think they are instead of just asking me. So, ask me the question properly this time.”

Calum takes a deep breath, “Have you, Michael Clifford, thought about marriage or marrying me?”

Michael smiles softly, “Of course I have, darling. As a concept, I think marriage is silly and the whole point of it is to have an excuse to throw a party and spend money and you shouldn’t need something big and flashy to tell your family and friends how much you love another person,” Calum’s heart sinks, “But marrying you? I’d do it tomorrow if you’d let me. I want to get up there and tell everyone how much you mean to me. That I want to spend the rest of my life with you, making you smile. I want you to get me up far too early in the morning and drink your too strong tea. I want to keep making music with you and writing songs about you and getting to stand on stage every night and tell everyone how much I love you. I want to have a wedding that’ll be better than Luke and Ashton’s because they don’t get to be cuter than us, we’ve been together longer. I want to get up there in front of everyone we know and tell them I want to spend everyday with you because you’re like another half of my soul and I can’t live without you. So yes, Calum Hood, I have thought about marrying you and I would love to do that.”

Calum turns back to the stove, blushing slightly. Michael always seems to know exactly what Calum’s thinking, what he’s feeling. It really does feel like they’re half of each other's souls. Calum is never alone if he’s got Michael there, telling him what sounds best in a song or what they should eat for dinner or what movie they should watch. He’s always had Michael, will always have Michael, but the idea of getting to publicly say it, to tell everyone how he feels, is overwhelming and comforting. 

“Have you thought about marrying me?” Michael asks.

Calum pauses, “Every day since the first time we kissed I’ve thought about marrying you and what it would be like. I want to get up there and give a cheesy speech about how you mean the world to me, so that our moms will cry. I want to tell the whole world every night on stage about how you’re the love of my life. I want to listen to you play your games and yell at Luke when he makes you lose and get to wake up next to you all the time. I can’t imagine it would change our lives that much, but I want to do it. I want to get married.”

“Did you just propose to me?” 

“Haven’t asked the question yet. I don’t even have a ring.” That’s a lie. Calum has had a ring since Ashton asked him to go ring shopping for Luke. It’s hidden inside one of the cases for Calum’s bass, where he knows Michael won’t go poking around. He even has a vague idea of how he wants to propose. He’s just waiting for their anniversary to roll around.

Michael hums lightly into Calum’s shoulder. “How long do you think we have to wait after the wedding to get engaged so Luke won’t say we did it on purpose to take away the spotlight?”

“Well, if I tell you it won’t be a surprise, now will it?” Calum says, smiling when Michael whines in response. “Besides I have to come up with something romantic to do. You said you didn’t want Luke and Ashton to be cuter than us. Now come on, the food’s ready and we have to start getting dressed.”

Calum manages to get Michael to eat something, to feed the dogs, and get them out the door with enough time to get to the wedding. It manages to go off without any issues and it isn’t until later, while Michael and Calum are sitting watching the first dance, that Michael leans over and says, “You know, if we have the dogs be the ring bearers we’d already win for cuter wedding.”

Calum huffs out a laugh and kisses Michael softly. “Only if you let Moose be the flower girl.”