#5000 words and counting though!

[walkingstackofbooks]

The trouble with writing is you have to write everything, not just the fun parts that are plaguing your brain 😅

[lefteagleblizzard]

ℭ𝔯𝔲𝔰𝔥 𝔞𝔠𝔯𝔬𝔰𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔱

Mike Schmidt x male reader

Summary: Life as a college student was hectic. You had always noticed Mike Schmidt, the quiet, brooding neighbor who lived just a few houses down. Though he was about five years older than you, that gap only fueled the intrigue and admiration you felt toward him. You admired the way he balanced his responsibilities, especially his care for his younger sister, Abby. Over the years, this admiration blossomed into a deep-seated crush that you couldn't quite shake off. Today, you finally got the chance to talk to him again after so much time due to you going to college.

Warnings: Age-gap (5 years) between you and Mike. Male reader. He/him pronouns used towards the reader. Fluff. Strangers/Friends to lovers. Smut at the end. Top Mike. Bottom reader. Reader being called “good boy”. Handjob (M receiving). Anal sex.

Words count: 5000

Part 2- Part 3-Part 4-Part 5-Part 6-Part 7-Part 8- Part 9

Can also be found on wattpad and ao3

This is different from the usual gender-neutral stuff I write, and I’m sorry to those who are used to them. I’m just so sad about never being able to find a male reader story, something that I can relate to. Your support and understanding mean a lot to me!

You had always noticed Mike Schmidt, the quiet, brooding neighbor who lived just a few houses down. Though he was about five years older than you, that gap only fueled the intrigue and admiration you felt toward him.

Over the years, you often saw him in the mornings when he returned from work, his expression weary but softened when he exchanged a word or two with your father.

Those fleeting moments were enough to plant a growing crush in your heart, a mix of admiration and something deeper you couldn't quite name.

One crisp morning, as you grabbed your backpack, ready to head out to college, you ran into him.

Literally.

You were in such a rush that you barely noticed him until you bumped into his solid frame on the sidewalk.

"Whoa, sorry about that," he chuckled, a warm sound that made your heart race. His hazel eyes, always a bit shadowed with fatigue, brightening just a little at the sight of you.

His hair was slightly tousled, and there was a shadow of stubble on his chin, which somehow made him even more attractive.

The sight of him made your heart skip a beat, a reaction you were becoming increasingly familiar with but were still not quite used to.

You felt your cheeks heat up, embarrassed by your clumsiness but secretly thrilled to be talking to him. "You're in a hurry, aren't you?"

His voice was deep and warm, like a comforting blanket after a long day.

You laughed nervously, trying to play it cool. "Yeah, running late as usual. What about you? Just getting back from work?"

"Yeah," he replied, scratching the back of his neck in a way you found endearing. His movements were tired yet graceful, revealing the strain of long nights but also a quiet resilience you admired. "Long night, But hey, it's good to finally bump into you —literally."

"You're looking... good." You regretted your choice of words almost immediately, feeling your face flush with embarrassment.

Mike chuckled softly, the sound warm and comforting, as if he was genuinely pleased by your compliment. "Thanks. You look great too. College must be treating you well."

"Thanks," you murmured, trying to hide your blush and not wanting to make a fool of yourself in front of him.

"The usual chaos. It's busy, but I'm hanging in there. I guess I'm learning a lot, though some days it feels more like I'm just trying to survive."

He chuckled, nodding knowingly. "Sounds about right. I remember those days, even if they were a bit short-lived for me. Dropping out to take care of Abby was the right choice, but sometimes I wonder what it would've been like to finish."

The way he spoke, his voice tinged with a mix of nostalgia and acceptance, made your heart ache. You admired him for the sacrifices he made. "You did what you had to do. Abby's lucky to have you looking out for her."

You stood there, both hesitant yet unwilling to end the conversation. It had been a while since you'd last talked. Life, college, and his busy schedule made these interactions rare. But when they happened, they were the highlight of your week. There was a warmth to his presence, a comforting steadiness that contrasted with the chaos of your daily life.

"So, how's Abby doing?" you asked, shifting the weight of your backpack on your shoulder. You knew how much she meant to him and how hard he fought to keep her happy and safe.

"She's great," Mike said, a genuine smile breaking through his usual guarded demeanor. His eyes softened, a hint of pride and affection in them. "Growing up way too fast, though. She actually asked about you the other day.

The idea that Abby remembered you, even though you'd only met a few times, warmed your heart. You tried to picture her as you remembered-a bright, inquisitive little girl who could light up a room with her laughter. "That's sweet. I should stop by more often."

"Yeah, you should," he replied, a glint in his beautiful hazel eyes that made your heart skip a beat. There was something earnest in his tone, something that suggested he wouldn't mind having you around more often. "She misses having someone around who doesn't mind her endless questions."

"I don't mind at all," you said quickly, realizing how eager you sounded. "In fact, I like talking to her. She's a really smart kid."

"She is," Mike agreed, his expression softening further.

"And you?" The question slipped out before you could stop it. "How are things going with... you know, the custody stuff?"

A shadow crossed his face, and you regretted bringing it up. You watched as his shoulders tensed slightly, and the easy smile slipped a notch.

"It's... it's been tough. My aunt's not making it any easier," he admitted, his voice tinged with frustration. There was a pause, a moment of shared understanding of the challenges he faced. You admired his strength, how he continued to push forward despite everything.

Your temper flared at the thought of the obstacles thrown his way. "That woman is just-" You caught yourself, but not before an unsavory word slipped out.

You covered your mouth, horrified, but Mike just laughed, a sound that was more soothing than you'd anticipated.

"You're not wrong," he said, his laughter fading into a soft smile. "But it's nice to know someone's on my side. You're cute when you're mad, you know that?"

The compliment caught you off guard, heat rushing to your cheeks. You tried to brush it off with a smile, but inside, you were glowing. He noticed, of course, but chose to let it slide.

"Well, I just... I hope things work out for you, Mike. You deserve that."

His gaze lingered on you, something unreadable in his eyes. You wondered what he saw when he looked at you and if he could sense the emotions you tried so hard to keep under wraps.

"Thanks. It means a lot coming from you" Then, as if suddenly remembering something, he added, "I need to find a new babysitter for Abby. The last one quit because, well, I can't really afford much right now."

Without thinking, you blurted out, "I could do it!" you offered eagerly, almost too quickly, the words spilling out before you had a chance to reconsider.

The offer hung in the air between you, and for a moment, you worried you'd overstepped.

But you couldn't help it. The thought of spending more time with him, getting to know him and Abby better, was too enticing to pass up.

Mike studied you, his expression softening. His eyes held a mix of surprise and gratitude, and you noticed how his lips curved up slightly at the edges, almost as if he was trying not to show too much emotion. "You'd really do that?"

"Of course," you replied, trying to sound casual despite the hammering of your heart. "I mean, I have some free time, and honestly, my college roommate is loud and annoying. Plus, I'd love to help."

He smiled, and it reached his eyes this time. There was a warmth there that seemed to envelop you, drawing you in. "That'd be great. I can't promise much in terms of payment, though."

"Don't worry about it," you said, waving a hand dismissively. "I'd be happy to help. It's not about the money. I'd love to help out, really. I've missed seeing you guys around."

Your heart pounded in your chest, both from the rush of making the offer and from the hope that he would accept.

The way he looked at you then, with a mixture of gratitude and something else— something hopeful—made you believe this was the start of something more.

You felt your heart flutter, a thrilling sensation that made you wonder if maybe he felt something too. "You're really something," he said softly, almost to himself.

You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant even as your heart soared. "Just trying to do what I can."

"Well, thanks. Really," he said, his voice earnest. "It's nice to see you again after so long.

You nodded, feeling warmth spread through you at his words. "Yeah, it's good to see you to, Mike."

As you both parted ways, you couldn't help but glance back over your shoulder Mike was doing the same, and when your eyes met, he waved. You waved back, feeling a flutter of excitement.

This new arrangement was more than just a job; it was a chance to see him, to learn more about the man who had quietly captured your heart. And maybe, just maybe, it was the beginning of something that could change both your lives for the better.

As you walked away, your mind replayed the conversation. You noticed how Mike seemed to pay close attention to your words, how he listened intently as if every word mattered. It was a rare quality, one that made you feel truly seen and heard. You couldn't help but wonder if there was more beneath the surface of his smiles and laughter, if perhaps he harbored feelings that mirrored your own

Mike's presence lingered with you throughout the day, the memory of his rare smile and warm gaze etched into your thoughts. You found yourself imagining the moments you would share while babysitting Abby, the possibility of spending more time with Mike, getting to know him on a deeper level.

As you reached campus with a heart full of excitement and a mind brimming with thoughts of Mike, you headed into the day, eager for what the future might hold.

The first day of babysitting Abby was a mix of nerves and excitement. As you approached Mike's modest home, a cozy littie house with a well-kept garden, you couldn't help but feel a rush of anticipation and a bit of anxiety. You wanted to make a good impression and hoped that Abby would like you as much as you liked her brother.

Abby greeted you at the door, her eyes wide with curiosity and a hint of shyness. She was a bright, energetic girl with dark hair and a mischievous grin that reminded you so much of Mike. Her presence was immediately infectious, and you felt any lingering anxiety melt away.

"Hi, Abby! I'm here to hang out with you while your brother's at work. How does that sound?" you asked, bending down to her level, hoping to convey friendliness and approachability.

She nodded, her eyes lighting up with enthusiasm as if she had been eagerly anticipating your arrival. "Okay! Can we play with my toys?" Her excitement was palpable, and it was impossible not to be drawn into her world.

"Of course," you replied, smiling as she grabbed your hand and pulled you inside with a surprising amount of strength for such a small person. You were grateful for her enthusiasm, feeling your own spirits lift at the prospect of spending the day with her.

The hours flew by as you played games, read stories, and even painted together. Abby had a vivid imagination, and you found it easy to connect with her. She was talkative, often sharing stories about her day and asking about yours.

Her innocence and curiosity were refreshing, a welcome escape from the complexities of adult life.

"Do you like my brother?" Abby asked innocently, her eyes wide with curiosity as you helped her with her coloring book. Her question caught you off guard, and you felt a blush creeping up your neck.

"I think your brother is a really great person," you said carefully, hoping to dodge the deeper implications of her question. You didn't want to make things awkward or too serious.

She giggled, a knowing look in her eyes that made you wonder just how much she picked up on. "He likes you too. He talks about you sometimes" Her words sent a jolt through you, a mix of excitement and hope that you struggled to keep under control.

Your heart skipped a beat at her words.

Unbeknownst to you, Mike had returned home earlier than expected. He needed to grab some pills he'd forgotten and thought he'd quickly check in on how things were going. As he stepped inside, he heard the sound of Abby's laughter echoing through the house, drawing him toward the living room.

Peeking inside, Mike found you and Abby sprawled on the floor, surrounded by crayons and papers.

Abby was in the middle of telling a story, using her drawings as illustrations, her eyes alight with creativity. You listened intently, encouraging her with nods and comments, clearly engrossed in her imaginative tale.

For a moment, Mike simply stood there, watching the scene unfold before him. His heart swelled with warmth and admiration as he saw the joy on Abby's face, the ease with which you interacted with her. It was a sight he hadn't realized he longed to see, and it stirred something deep within him.

Seeing you there, so effortlessly connecting with Abby, made him fall even more in love with you. It wasn't just your kindness or the way you made Abby laugh, it was the way you seemed to understand her, to know exactly how to make her feel valued and cherished.

Mike cleared his throat, stepping into the room. "Looks like you two are having fun."

You looked up, surprised but pleased to see him. "Hey, Mike. We're just finishing up Abby's latest masterpiece."

Abby beamed at her brother, waving her drawing triumphantly. "Look what we made!”

He approached, crouching beside you to examine the masterpiece. "I love it.”

Abby beamed, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of pride at her joy. "We make a good duo," you agreed, catching Mike's eye. There was something in his gaze, a warmth and appreciation that made your heart flutter.

"Thanks for today," Mike said, his voice low enough for only you to hear. "It means a lot to see her so happy"

"It was my pleasure," you replied, feeling your cheeks heat up under his scrutiny. "She's a wonderful kid."

As the days turned into weeks, your bond with both Abby and Mike deepened. You found yourself looking forward to each visit, eager to spend time with Abby and, more secretly, to see Mike. He was kind, patient, and had a dry sense of humor that often caught you off guard and made you laugh until your sides hurt.

Abby quickly became a friend, often sharing her thoughts and ideas with you. "Do you want to see my drawing?" she'd ask, holding up a colorful sketch that she'd made with all the innocence and creativity of a child.

"Wow, Abby, that's amazing!" you'd respond, genuinely impressed by her creativity. "You've got a real talent." Her pride in her work was infectious, and you felt a deep sense of fulfillment knowing you were making a positive impact in her life, fostering her confidence and creativity.

Meanwhile, your interactions with Mike grew more frequent and meaningful. Sometimes, after Abby had gone to bed, you and Mike would sit in the living room, sharing a beer or a cup of tea, discussing everything from music to movies to life's challenges. These moments became the highlight of your day, a chance to unwind and connect on a deeper level.

One evening, as you settled onto the couch after a long day, Mike handed you a steaming mug of tea, his fingers brushing yours briefly. The contact sent a jolt of electricity through you, and you wondered if he felt it too. Your heart skipped a beat at the possibility, and you felt a warmth spreading through your chest.

"You're really easy to talk to," Mike said, his voice sincere, cutting through the quiet hum of the room. "I don't get that a lot." His admission made your heart swell, knowing that you were someone he felt comfortable with, someone he valued.

"I feel the same way, Mike," you admitted, feeling a warmth in your chest that was becoming all too familiar. "It's nice having someone who gets me and doesn't think I'm weird for my horror movie obsession."

You wanted him to know that you felt a connection, a shared understanding that was rare and precious.

He chuckled, shaking his head, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "I think it's cool. Most people just give me funny looks when I tell them I enjoy those films." His smile was infectious, and you couldn't help but smile back, feeling a sense of camaraderie and mutual understanding.

"Then they're missing out," you said, a smile playing on your lips, enjoying the banter and the ease with which you could share these moments with him.

You found yourself opening up to Mike in ways you hadn't with anyone else, revealing dreams and fears that you usually kept hidden.

There was a trust between you, a sense of safety that encouraged honesty and vulnerability.

"I always wanted to be a writer," you confessed one night, surprised by your own admission. The words felt heavy and significant, a part of yourself that you hadn't shared with many people. "But I don't know if I'm good enough."

Mike looked at you thoughtfully, his gaze steady and encouraging, as if he could see the potential within you. "I think you'd be great. You have a way with words, and you see things differently. That's a gift." His words filled you with a warmth that lingered long after the evening had ended, a validation that resonated deeply with you.

You often caught yourself daydreaming about him, replaying conversations and imagining what it might be like to tell him how you really felt.

The movie you've found online and that you were currently watching, an old, obscure horror film, played on his TV. The film was terrible, with laughable special effects and wooden acting, but it provided ample opportunity for humor.

You tried to focus on the movie, but you found yourself constantly distracted by Mike. The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, the sound of his chuckle, and the way he seemed genuinely relaxed in your presence made you feel special and welcomed.

"There's something about these films that just never gets old," Mike said, his eyes still glued to the screen as a particularly ridiculous scene unfolded. "I mean, look at that monster. It looks like it was made from papier-mâché. Did they really think that scene would be scary?" Mike chuckled, shaking his head. His laughter was contagious, a sound that filled the room with warmth and lightened the weight of the day.

"Right?" you replied, though your focus was more on him than the film. You watched the way his smile lingered, the subtle way his body leaned toward you as if drawn by an invisible force.

You were lost in thought, contemplating the words that had been on the tip of your tongue for weeks. Watching him enjoy himself, knowing that you were part of the reason he could unwind, filled you with a sense of pride and affection that was hard to ignore.

"There's something I need to tell you," you began, your voice steady but your heart racing. The words were heavy on your tongue, but you knew it was time to speak your truth.

His expression shifted slightly, a flicker of surprise crossing his features. He sensed the seriousness of your tone and straightened, giving you his full attention.

"What's on your mind?" His voice was calm and steady, a reassurance that made the confession feel a little less daunting.

You took a deep breath, gathering your courage and pushing past the fear of rejection. "I really like spending time with you, Mike. And not just as a friend. I've felt this way for a while now." The admission hung in the air between you, a truth that couldn't be taken back.

For a moment, Mike looked at you with wide eyes, clearly caught off guard by your confession, His initial surprise was evident, and you could see the conflict playing out in his mind. He opened his mouth to speak but seemed to struggle to find the right words.

His thoughts were a jumble of emotions and concerns. The age difference between you, Abby, and his financial struggles weighed heavily on him. He didn't want you to feel tied to him, not because he didn't feel anything for you, but because he knew he couldn't give you everything you deserved.

"... I didn't expect this," he finally said, his voice laced with uncertainty. "I care about you a lot, but... it's complicated. You're younger than me. I have a lot of responsibilities with Abby and work. There's a lot I can't give you, and I don't want you to feel stuck because of me. You deserve better" His words were hesitant, filled with an internal struggle that made your heart ache for him.

You understood his hesitation, could see the conflict in his eyes, but you also saw the way he looked at you, the warmth and affection that couldn't be hidden. It was enough to give you hope, to make you want to show him that you didn't care about the obstacles, only about him.

Gently, you moved closer to him, closing the space between you. His eyes widened slightly, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he seemed frozen, waiting to see what you would do next.

Reaching up, you cupped his cheek with your hand, feeling the roughness of his stubble against your palm. "I just want to be here with you." Your voice was soft but firm, a quiet promise of your intentions.

Then, slowly, you leaned in and pressed your lips to his. It was a gentle, tentative kiss, one that held all the feelings you hadn't been able to put into words. For a moment, Mike seemed surprised, his body tensing at the unexpectedness of it all. But then, he melted into the kiss, his hesitation giving way to something deeper.

His hand found your waist, his fingers tightening slightly as he pulled you closer, closing any remaining distance between you.

The kiss was slow and tender, a shared moment that spoke volumes about what words couldn't convey.

You felt him relax against you, his internal conflicts momentarily forgotten as you both gave in to the feelings you had been harboring for so long.

His other hand reached up to gently cradle your head, deepening the kiss as he finally allowed himself to accept what was between you.

When you finally pulled away, breathless and heart racing, you looked into his eyes and saw the worry and doubt had been replaced by something softer and more hopeful.

"Well, that was unexpected," Mike said softly, breaking the silence. His voice was a gentle rumble, carrying a hint of wonder and disbelief.

"In a good way, I hope?" you replied, your own voice barely above a whisper.

"In a very good way," he assured you, his lips curving into a smile that sent a flutter of joy through you.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time," you admitted, a small smile playing on your lips as you stayed close, unwilling to let the moment end.

"Me too," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "l'm still scared about what this means, but I know I don't want to lose what we have."

You leaned in closer, feeling his breath mingle with yours, and captured his lips in another kiss. This one was softer, more lingering, a gentle exploration of the connection between you. It was a silent affirmation of the feelings you both shared, a testament to the bond that had grown between you over time.

You felt his hands slide up your back, pulling you even closer, while you wrapped your arms around his neck, reveling in the warmth and security of his embrace. The kiss deepened, and you lost yourself in the sensation of being so close to him, of sharing in this moment of intimacy and understanding.

A soft sound escaped your lips, a quiet sigh of contentment, and you felt him smile against your mouth. There was a playfulness to his touch now, a sense of joy that mirrored your own.

"Shh," he whispered teasingly, pulling back slightly, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

Mike's lips moved against yours with a growing urgency, his own quiet moans mingling with yours. He tried to keep quiet, pressing soft kisses against your lips to muffle your own sounds, though the effort only served to heighten the sensation, a delicious tension that wound tighter with each passing moment.

His efforts to remain quiet were punctuated by low, throaty grunts, each one a reminder of the passion that simmered between you.

The quiet of the room was punctuated by soft gasps and whispered names, a symphony of affection that crescendoed in perfect harmony.

With a gentle tug, he guided you onto his lap, his touch firm yet careful, as if handling something both precious and fragile. The movement was fluid, instinctive, a seamless continuation of the magnetic pull that had drawn you together on the porch. Your knees settled on either side of him, bringing you chest to chest, your faces inches apart. The heat of his body seeped through your clothes, a tangible reminder of the passion simmering just beneath the surface.

His hands found their place on your legs, fingers splayed to support and explore, tracing slow, deliberate paths along the fabric that covered your skin. It was as though he sought to memorize every contour, every curve, feeding the curiosity that had lingered in the recesses of his mind for years wondering how it would feel to finally hold you close.

You leaned in, capturing his lips with yours in a kiss that was both tender and insistent, a mingling of breath and heartbeat that spoke of shared longing and mutual surrender. The world outside faded further into oblivion, leaving only the two of you entwined in a dance of exploration and affection.

His tongue slipped into your mouth, exploring with a curiosity that had been held in check for too long. The sensation was intoxicating, a dance of intimacy that spoke of all the moments he had wondered, all the times he had imagined what it would be like to taste you.

Mike's quiet grunts of pleasure were a symphony to your ears. You could sense the tension in him, the effort it took to maintain control even as his own desires threatened to overwhelm him.

His fingers brushed over your back, tracing the line of your spine, before moving to explore the curve of your waist and the strength of your thighs.

You mirrored his exploration, your hands finding purchase on his shoulders, feeling the tension and release of muscle beneath your touch. Your fingers traveled to his neck, threading through his hair, drawing him even closer as the kiss became more fervent. It was a symphony of sensation-a blending of warmth, breath, and the gentle hum of shared affection that enveloped you both.

It was as if time itself had slowed, allowing you to savor each second, each heartbeat, as you became one in a language unspoken yet deeply understood.

His hands were slowly gliding all over your hips and lower back now, and they eventually made their way down to rest on your ass.

He squeezed, causing you to grind down against him and you moaned. You started prepping with kisses on his face, his stumble scratching your lips occasionally. Mike groaned in response, his eyes fluttering shut for a minute. You began a slow rhythm of rocking your hips against him, his head falling back to rest on the back of the couch.

"Good boy," Mike murmured against your lips, his voice a low, soothing rumble that vibrated through you. It sent a shiver down your spine, your heart swelling in response to the intimacy of the moment.

Mike's hands, confident yet gentle, found their way beneath the hem of your shirt, a silent question hanging in the air as his fingers brushed against bare skin. You nodded, granting permission. The fabric lifted, sliding over your skin with a whisper, leaving you vulnerable and exposed, yet utterly safe in his embrace.

His touch was electrifying, a gentle exploration of the expanse of your chest, the warmth of his hands grounding and exhilarating all at once.

You leaned up and captured Mike’s lips again in a bruising kiss, moaning into his mouth. His hips bucking up into yours as you quickened the movement of your hips against his.

He was trying to pull you even closer against his body to increase the friction between the two of you as much as possible.

He began peppering open-mouthed kisses all over your chest and collarbones. You sighed, and laced your fingers in his hair, relishing in the feeling of his lips all over you.

He began sucking on one of your nipples, moving one of his hands to play with your other, which earned him a suppressed moan from you and caused you to throw your head back. You tugged on his hair, and it only seemed to make him even more enthusiastic with his movements.

He suddenly stood up, moving his arms to hold onto you tightly as you gasped, but landed back onto the couch almost instantly. You were now laying on your back and still looking up at him as Mike reached to pull his gray shirt off.

He was so handsome.

He began undoing his belt and the button to his jeans, pushing them down his legs. He kicked the jeans off and kneeled down, placing a hand on your thigh and looking at you.

“Can I?” he asked. You didn’t waste a second nodding your head, and you watched as he took his time to pull off your jeans and underwear, throwing them onto the floor beside his own discarded clothes.

Mike didn’t take his eyes off of you for a single second, wanting to admire the sight of you and he moved so that he was now on top of you. He now had you pinned down against the couch cushion, and you felt your own heartbeat inside your eardrums.

He leaned down to kiss you again, his enthusiasm from earlier returning as he deepened the kiss instantly.

He shifted slightly, reaching over to a small drawer built into the side table next to the couch. You watched curiously as he pulled out a small bottle of lube. The position was a bit awkward, and you couldn't help but give him a puzzled look, wondering why it was there instead of in his room.

Mike caught your expression and stuttered slightly, a hint of a blush coloring his cheeks. "Uh, well, I keep it here because of Abby. She tends to rummage around my room looking for toys or paper to draw on."

You giggled at the thought, imagining Abby innocently sifting through Mike's things, completely unaware of what she might find. "That makes sense," you said with a smile, amused by his predicament.

He chuckled along with you, the tension in the air dissolving into something more playful and intimate. With a deft motion, he flicked open the cap of the bottle and poured a small amount onto his fingers, his movements careful and deliberate.

You watched, fascinated, as he spread the substance between his fingers, his focus returning to you with a renewed intensity. There was something thrilling about the trust and care in his actions, a silent promise that you were in good hands.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked softly, his gaze steady and reassuring.

You nodded, feeling your heart race with anticipation and excitement. "Absolutely" you replied, meeting his eyes with unwavering confidence.

His hand slowly trailed from its place at your side, down your hip before moving it to the space between your thighs. You gasped slightly when you felt his touch on your dick, causing fireworks to set off all throughout your body.

You moaned into his mouth now that Mike was touching you exactly where you needed him and he picked up the pace, pumping you as you began to let out soft moans at his touch. He flicks his finger over your tip, which was now leaking profusely.

Your hand returned itself to tangle in his hair while your other made its way to his shoulder to steady yourself.

“Does that feel good, baby?” He questioned, and you could’ve swore he was smirking against your lips.

You whined and nodded slightly. You had very little control over your reactions at this point, and Mike was well aware of this. He quickened his pace once again, and you were beginning to squirm underneath him.

It seemed like he was having a lot of fun at this point, amused by all of the reactions he was dragging out of you. You weren’t sure how this could get any better when he had maneuvered his hand lower, beginning to thrust his middle finger deep into your hole.

Another loud moan, muffled by your own hand, escaped your lips and you squeezed your eyes shut at the sensation, clenching your thighs together around his hand.

He pulled his head away and began biting your jaw, sucking hard enough that it will definitely leave a mark tomorrow, but you were too focused on his finger moving inside of you to care.

Mike then added his ring finger and you whined loudly, tugging on his hair. He let out a groan, and began fucking you faster, causing you to come into his hand, and onto your stomach.

Your back arching off of the couch and your fingers digging into his shoulder, but he didn’t seem to mind one bit.

He was only focused on you, and he would do anything to indulge you at the moment. He pulled his fingers out of you after riding out your climax and shifted above you a bit. Your entire body flooded with warmth and you were panting.

Your recovery was cut short by Mike grinding into you, the length of his cock rubbing against you.

A soft, involuntary groan escaped his lips, signaling his turn.

He pulled back to look at you and his expression was questioning, waiting for an answer before going further with anything.

You whimpered out a small please and that was all it took before he was slowly sinking his cock inside of you.

He threw his head back and groaned, his cock twitching inside of you. You whined at the feeling and bit your lip, squeezing your eyes shut. He slowly bottomed out inside of you and kept still, Pausing to admire you, lost in your serene, blissed-out state, like a masterpiece in a moment of pure tranquility before he began thrusting into you.

“You gonna be a good boy for me?” He groaned out, leaning his head down to speak directly into your ear.

Your eyes shot open when you heard him, whimpering and quickly nodding your head, you were unable to speak, all you that was coming out of your mouth were the most pathetic whines, whimpers, and pants. Hearing him talk like this made you clench around him, which in turn caused him to slam into you faster.

“All mine, every bit of you,” he declared, his words sending shivers down your spine. You bit down hard on your bottom lip, trying to stifle any more sounds that might escape

You wrapped your legs around his hips, your body bouncing each time he thrusted into you, each time even harder than the last.

You and Mike were drenched in sweat, looking like you just conquered an epic adventure.

Your back was continuously arched off of the couch as he kept railing into you.

Your entire body was tingling with pleasure, and you knew you could get addicted to this feeling.

Mike slamming into you at just the right angle, the feeling of his body moving against yours, and before you knew it, Mike had reached his hand down between your bodies to begin stroking faster and faster, and each time a new sound came from your mouth, devoured from his own mouth.

You were officially done for after that. It was all too much, but it was so, so good.

“Please cum for me, my sweet boy. C’mon.” Mike gritted out, and that was all you had needed to hear.

You clenched around Mike’s cock and you came, your eyes rolling on the back of your head. All you could do while riding out your orgasam was squirm from the overstimulation, Mike still pounding into you as he was chasing his own orgasm.

Feeling the tightness of your body, he couldn't hold back any longer, his own release spurting deep within you.

Mike, who had been resting on top of you, shifted to lie beside you, the couch barely wide enough to accommodate both of you. His chest rose and fell rhythmically, a mirror to your own breaths as you both began to calm in the quiet aftermath

Your mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, the reality of what had just transpired between you and Mike barely beginning to settle in. It felt surreal, like a dream spun from the depths of your imagination, and yet the solid warmth of Mike beside you was a comforting reminder that it had indeed happened.

As you lay there, lost in your thoughts, you felt a gentle nudge against your cheek. Mike was nuzzling you, his stubble a rough but comforting texture against your skin. The affectionate gesture pulled you back to the present, grounding you in the moment and dispelling any lingering disbelief.

He turned his head slightly, capturing your lips in a quick, tender kiss that spoke of both contentment and lingering desire. When he pulled back, a hint of shyness flickered in his eyes, an endearing contrast to the confidence he had shown just moments before.

"Hey," he murmured softly, his voice barely above a whisper in the quiet room. "Do you want to sleep in the bed with me? The couch isn't exactly comfortable for the night."

His invitation caught you off guard, a warmth spreading through you that had nothing to do with the lingering heat from earlier. A smile broke across your face, broad and genuine, as you nodded, the simple gesture carrying a weight of unspoken emotion.

"I'd like that," you replied, your voice infused with a joy that you couldn't hide even if you wanted to.

Note: If you liked this story please leave a comment, I love reading them <3. Next on the list is a Josh Futturman fic from a request on wattpad.

[gigabyte-flare]

The Dark of You

(A Gigabyte Flare One Shot)

Summary: Leon S. Kennedy returns home to you from an assignment in San Francisco in desperate need to relieve some tension

Word Count: 1.5k

Pairing: Death Island!Leon Kennedy x fem!reader (afab)

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. You are responsible for your own content consumption. If any of the following warnings trigger you, please read at your own risk. Minors do not interact, this story is 18+ only.

CONTAINS DEATH ISLAND SPOILERS

Warnings: sex (p in v), age gap (reader is 26), very mild angst, choking, degradation, pet names, breeding kink

A/N: This is 5000% self indulgent. I cannot, for the life of me, get Death Island!Leon out of my head since watching the movie. The title is inspired by Dark of You by Breaking Benjamin

“Fade away to the wicked world we left,

And I become the dark of you.”

The anticipation is killing you. About an hour ago Leon had let you know he landed in D.C. and is on his way back home. He had been on an assignment in San Francisco, he didn’t say what for, he never disclosed any of his assignments to you. He insisted it was to protect you. You have been sitting on the couch, watching TV as you wait for Leon to come home but fatigue is starting to get the better of you, so you decide to turn off the TV and go to bed. A small inkling of guilt ate at you; you wanted to greet him when he got home.

Walking into the bedroom, you pull back the covers, slipping beneath them and getting yourself comfortable. You fall asleep within minutes; that’s not like you. Your constant worry for Leon clearly exhausted you. You’re suddenly awoken by the feeling of someone kissing the crook of your neck, an unshaven face scratching at yours. You recognize the cologne and his masculine scent immediately.

“Mmmm… there you are, Leon…” you say softly as you’re pulled from your slumber. 

“I hit traffic on the way home, I hope I didn’t worry you,” Leon replies, his voice still muffled by your neck.

“When am I not worried about you?” you ask, turning your body to face him.

You immediately notice he looks ragged and exhausted, with dark bags under his ocean eyes and his hair slightly disheveled. He is still wearing his combat vest over his dark gray t-shirt and his blue leather jacket over that. 

“You look like hell.”

“I feel like hell, I think my age is starting to catch up to me, love,” he says, bending down to kiss your forehead.

“Stop talking like you're 80, you’re only 38, you’re not old.” you tease, playfully punching one of his biceps. 

For some reason, unknown to you, Leon was very self conscious about the age gap between you two. You can’t count how many times you reassured him that his age didn’t matter to you, that the 12 year gap between you didn’t bother you; you’ve been seeing him for almost a year.

“It’s not like you started dating me out of high school, you’re not a creep!” you recall telling him constantly. 

He smirks at you, running a hand through your hair, “I’m going to hit the shower, I’ll be right out.”

You nod at him, watching as he goes into the adjacent bathroom, not bothering to shut the door behind him. You listen as he turns on the shower and you can hear the sound of his clothing hitting the floor. You let out a deep sigh of relief, grateful that he’s home and safe. Even though he didn’t talk about his work with you, you knew one thing for certain.

His job is dangerous. 

You watch as Leon comes out of the bathroom, a pair of light gray sweats barely hanging onto his hips as he dries his hair with a towel, giving you a beautiful view of his ‘happy trail.’ Tossing the towel aside, he fixes his damp hair with his hands before climbing into bed with you, immediately wrapping you in his arms, nuzzling his face into your hair as he breathes deeply. You feel him kiss your hair over and over, like he couldn’t get enough of you.

“I’m so glad you’re home, Leon,” you tell him, snuggling into his embrace.

“Me too,” Leon replies, “I… I almost didn’t make it back…”

“What?” you look up at him, sitting up, your eyes full of concern.

You can tell by Leon’s pained expression that he was struggling on whether or not to tell you what happened. You watch him sigh and he clears his throat.

“I got infected with a virus--”

“What?! Do we need to get you to a hospital? I can take you!” You panic, throwing the blankets off you as you start to climb out of bed, but one of Leon’s strong hands grab your upper arm, stopping you.

“Babe, I’m fine… I got vaccinated, I’m not infected anymore. It’s… actually not the first time that’s happened.”

You tuck yourself back under the blankets, laying your head back down on the pillow as you continue to listen to Leon.

Leon lets out a soft chuckle, “if I had a nickel each time I’ve been infected with something… I’d have two nickels.”

You can’t help but laugh, even though hearing this from him made you worry more, but you don’t say anything and let him continue.

“I know that’s not a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.”

You shake your head, cupping his face in your hands and kiss him as you’re laughing. 

“Unfortunately, there was one casualty,” he says, his lips still pressed against yours.

You pull back, raising an eyebrow at him.

“The bike got wrecked…”

“Oh sweetheart,” you coo, running your fingers through his hair, “I’m so sorry, I know you loved that bike.”

“It’s alright, if I had to choose between the bike and coming back home safely to you, I’d pick you. Every time.”

In an instant, one of his hands grasps the back of your head, pulling you to him to kiss you ravenously. His tongue makes its way into your mouth, dancing with yours as he lets out a low growl. He climbs on top of you, pinning you to the bed as his hands work to pull off your underwear, tossing them aside as he continues to kiss you vigorously.

Meanwhile, your hands are working to get his sweatpants off him, finally getting them pulled down when he kicks them off. His hands grasp at the front of your tank top, ripping it apart to expose your breasts. His hands grasp at them as you pull off the remnants of the tank top, tossing it aside off the side of the bed to join your underwear. Before you know it, he’s manhandling you, getting you on all fours on the bed, positioning himself behind you as he wraps his left arm around your neck as he uses the other to position his hard member against your thoroughly soaked cunt. He pulls back, choking you with his arm but not enough to outright strangle you; a favorite position of yours, admittedly. You love it when he’s rough with you. 

“You want this old man’s cock, don’t you, pretty girl?” he growls in your ear, his hot breath on your ear sending chills down your spine, straight to your aching hole. 

“Y-Yes!” you manage to reply, gasping for air as his arm gives your neck a nice squeeze. 

“Of course you do, you dirty slut.”

You feel Leon bully his cock into your leaking entrance, your fingers curling and gripping the sheets as he begins to pound into you with vicious ferocity. His right hand grips your hip like a vice; that’s going to leave a bruise later. He lets out a half moan, half growl as you feel him adjust his position, getting on one knee to get a better angle to fuck into you as deep and as hard as he possibly could.

“F-Fuck! Too… too much!” you manage to say, his arm still squeezing your neck.

“You can take it, baby, I know you can,” he purrs, thrusting even harder into you, “gonna breed this pretty little kitty.”

His words make your clit throb and your walls tighten around his cock, causing you to cry out. With one of your hands, you reach between your legs, rubbing your aching clit with your index and middle finger, making your body tremble. Leon picks up on this immediately, chuckling in your ear.

“Oh? You like that? You want this old man’s cum? You want me to fuck a baby into you?”

Your cunt squeezes around him again as you nod, moaning as he picks up the pace of his thrusts. He leans over you, kissing the side of your neck before giving you several hickies as he pushes his hips deep inside you, the head of his dick kissing your cervix, filling you with a sense of euphoria, your arms reach up and gripping the arm still wrapped around your neck. 

“Leon… I’m.. I’m gonna… I’m gonna cum…!”

“Good… such a good little slut you are,” he growls, giving you a playful bite on your earlobe.

After a few more powerful thrusts, he pushes himself as deep inside you as he possibly could go and you feel the burning warmth of his release as you come undone on him. Gasping, tears of relief stream down your face. Leon stays inside you for a few minutes as both of you catch your breath, having removed his arm from your neck. Eventually, he pulls himself out of you, hooking your waist with one of his arms and pulling you back so that he could cuddle with you. You give each other gentle, tired kisses until you both eventually fall asleep in each other's arms.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

sugar sugar rune x twst au word salad

“The heart is yours to take, but you must not allow yours to be taken.”

The concept of this AU borrows a lot of ideas from the animanga Sugar Sugar Rune! ^^ It’s an older shojo series that I always think of when Halloween season arrives. Sugar Sugar Rune is about two years witches who are best friends, Chocolat and Vanilla, who compete to capture the most hearts in the human world. Whoever is victorious will become queen of the Magical World—but with love comes danger. If their own hearts get stolen, then they can lose their lives.

I should add, I currently don’t intend to write a fic based on this, I just wanted to braindump my ideas out and speculate on how this AU would work.

And now, without further ado…!

I think a good place to start is to explain the key points about the world and other relevant lore! Then we will get into the characters. (No story spoilers though, this AU won’t follow the original plot of Sugar Sugar Rune to a T!)

So the Magical World of Sugar Sugar Rune is where all magical creatures, including witches and wizards, reside. In the Magical World, ecure (or hearts), crystallized emotions, serve as an energy source and currency. Mages must frequently venture into the Human World in order to "harvest "pick up"/harvest ecure since humans have the unique ability to regenerate their hearts even when already stolen. Contrasting humans, mages only have one heart. That means if a mage's heart is taken, they will surely die. When mages fall in love with one another, they exchange their hearts during their wedding vows. They have to be careful who they fall in love with, as they can literally "die of a broken heart" if their partner betrays them. It's ill-advised for a mage to fall in love with a human, as while humans lack the ability to "pick up" hearts, a mage has to voluntarily hand their heart over if they reach a certain point (the color red)

Speaking of red!! Ecure/hearts can come in various colors depending on the emotion associated with it. Each color (and thus emotion) is associated with a different value, which roughly aligns with the value of the Japanese yen. The values are, as follows:

Yellow or Jaune - surprise, fear (5 ecure)

Orange - love at first sight, crush, infatuation (300 ecure)

Green or Vert - friendship (350 ecure)

Rainbow - happiness, delight, amusement (500 ecure)

Pink or Rose - the beginning stages of love, sweet love (1000 ecure)

Purple or Violet - lust, forbidden love (2500 ecure)

Blue or Bleu - respect (3000 ecure)

Red or Rouge - passionate love (5000 ecure)

Black or Noir - hatred, jealousy (no known value, hurts mages) I think this works really well with the concept of Blot in Twst—

White or Blanc - innocence (no known value, purified black heart; has restorative or healing properties)

Besides serving as energy and currency, ecure are also a way of counting points for Queen Candidacy. In the Magical World, the ruler is determined not by birth by through a competition in which candidates compete to see who can collect the most ecure (I believe over the span of a year). In the original Sugar Sugar Rune, the two candidates are Vanilla and Chocolat. The former is shy, sweet, and sort of a crybaby, with her mother being the current queen. Chocolat is the daughter of the queen's former competitor and comes off as more of a brash tomboy.

So what I'm proposing for the Sugar Sugar Rune x Twst AU is :DD basically keep all the lore but replace the two protags with MALLEUS (as Vanilla) AND LEONA (as Chocolat). They won’t be besties like the original MCs were, but more like traditional rivals because it would be funny lmao

Malleus is the more regal and composed of the two (he is literally a crown prince), so he has that obvious parallel with Vanilla. Not only that, but he's more withdrawn and has deep insecurities about being alone (also similar to Vanilla). I think his reputation could play well into the AU as well; in the Magical World, everyone fears him so he’s used to being alone—but in the Human World, he’s beloved for being awkward and mysterious (reflecting the international Twst fandom’s adoration for the guy). Malleus would feel obligated to win to carry on his family’s legacy but also because he feels like if he doesn’t, he has nothing left. No friends, no people to keep at his side—but if he has the status of King, then he’ll have a whole nation looking to him. Since his mom is uh… “with the stars”, the current Magical World queen could be his grandmother, and Malleus may feel like he has that legacy to live up to.

Leona, like Chocolat, is the underdog. What he lacks in status (as crown prince) he makes up for in intelligence and charisma, which nets him many followers in the Magical World. He comes off as tough and hard to approach to humans who aren’t used to his demanding attitude though, so it puts him at a disadvantage in the competition. He’s very much the “bad boy” similar to how Chocolat wasn’t a traditionally girly girl, but it’s ultimately the heart of gold buried underneath his hard edges that will eventually put him toe-to-toe with Malleus. I think Leona’s reasoning for wanting to be King would be similar to what he expresses in his original source material—to prove himself worthy, regardless of the family or order he was born in. Maybe he was almost not considered to be a candidate at all and his brother Falena was supposed to compete? Or alternatively, Falena is Malleus’s real competitor but Leona snuck into the Human World as an upstart/self-imposed third entry 😂

Chocolat and Vanilla have a mentor mage in the Human World named Robin (who is a famous rock star fjsvwisnksks). He’s the one who explains things to them and serves as their guardian figure while they room together and study at a human school for the Queen Candidacy.

What I’m thinking is that Leona and Malleus will venture into the Human World under the guidance of… Crowley 🤡 LISTEN, IT WOULD BE FUNNY Crowley does a lot of the exposition in Twst, so he could reprise that role here. He is also vain and thinks highly of himself (but ultimately cherishes his students) like Robin. Picture Crowley having to mediate between Leona and Malleus fighting every second of the day while living together—

That’s honestly all we need to replace to get the AU rolling. If we want to, we could expand the Queen (King now I guess) Candidacy to have more candidates. Then maybe the other Twst characters could also participate but the story could still center on Malleus and Leona as the two to “keep an eye on”/audience favorites.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this 🤔 but I do think this could be a fun AU for like. Yume/self insert scenarios so you can angst about whether your feelings are real or fabricated so [insert mage of choice here] can harvest ya like a plant… Or angst about not being able to be with [insert mage of choice here] because they might literally perish… Many possibilities!

[violetsiren90]

Arms Around Me

(A Light of Your Eyes universe drabble)

Pairing: best friend's younger brother!Changbin x f!Reader

Genre: drabble; established (secret) relationship; smut/fluff/angst

Summary: Three months after you show up on your best friend's doorstep to find her brother instead, Changbin thinks it's time to let Nari know that things have changed.

Content warnings: 18+ (minors, DNI); explicit sexual content; seated cowgirl; intimate sex; eye contact; unprotected vaginal sex; internal ejaculation; cock warming; praise kink - because we all know he has one, okay??; showering together; a little sexy joking; nudity; kissing and embracing; teasing (non sexual); mentions of reader's hair being washed; FLUFF 🥰; some guilt and anxiety; tough conversations; Binnie goes off script (but he's also just the sweetest and realest); Binnie down BAD; a pretty intense argument; cursing in an argumentative context; minor panic attack symptoms and disassociation; crying (hurt/comfort, honestly), emotional intimacy and vulnerability for the win 💕

Word Count: ~5000.

Author's Note: I did NOT expect to drop this today of all days, but here it is nonetheless! You know, just in case you needed any more reason to lose your mind over this man...🤪. It turned out longer and angstier than I initially imagined, but once I started they took over entirely and now we have the second part of their little love story! I apologize in advance for how many times I mentioned Changbin's big buff arms, they are my current Roman Empire, and I will honestly never be normal about how much this guy makes me wanna just bite him.

To anyone who reads, thank you! I hope this story brings you something soft and sweet.

And as always, if no one has told you yet today, please know that you're loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

“Look at me, beautiful,” Changbin’s breathless voice pleads as your eyes flutter open from where he’s tilted your head back to take you in.

His hand cradles the back of your neck with a tender strength as it lolls against his grip with each roll of his hips where they press up to meet yours. From under heavy lids, you drink him in.

His handsome face, inches from yours, is flushed with his efforts. Thick dark hair clings to his damp brow above hooded eyes that look as desperate as you feel. Your arms are curled around his neck, your soft body flush with his sturdy one where he sits on the edge of the bed wrapped in you. Arms clinging to his shoulders, legs bent at the knee on either side of his hips as he grinds up into where you stretch around the thickness of him. Your quads burn as you raise your hips the few inches you’re still able before letting your ass fall with a slap to his muscular thighs again and again.

He must be close, you think, as you try your best through your fucked out haze to focus on the intensity of his gaze - he always wants them when he comes, your eyes on his. Your lips are parted by a groan as his left hand leaves your waist to splay over your lower abdomen between your bodies, this thumb pressed to your clit. You’re close too.

“Bin…” you whimper softly, and he pulls you to his lips, salty with sweat.

You gasp into his mouth, swallowing each other’s cries as the knot in your core bursts and you come, squeezing around his cock. He follows you over the edge, releasing inside you with a cry as you quiver against him, parted lips still hovering over his own.

You kiss him, sweet and slow and spent, and he flips you onto the bed so his body lays over yours, still inside you though growing soft. His weight presses you into the mattress and you sigh, so utterly at ease, body and soul, when he shields you from the world. His head raises from where it collapsed to your breast and you take his face in your hands as he beams down at you with twinkling dark eyes and his little crooked grin.

“Hi,” you smile up at him, stroking over his full cheeks with your thumbs.

“You came with me again,” he murmurs, still half out of breath. Your lips stretch into a smirk.

“Can’t help it, you’re too good at getting me there,” you answer, leaning up for another kiss before nipping at his plump bottom lip. 

His smile widens and he drops his face to nuzzle his nose into your neck below your ear. 

“I’m too good, huh?” his voice comes in a raspy hum against your skin. You drag your fingers through his damp, curling locks.

“You know you are, Seo Changbin. You know what you do to me,” you chide.

“Say it anyway.”

You smile, your eyes pressing into crescent moons, and you tilt your lips toward his ear.

“You make me feel like nobody else could ever,” you whisper, your mouth ghosting his lobe.

He twitches inside you. You chuckle quietly as you press another kiss to his neck.

“God, I’m so lucky!” you murmur teasingly, but he presses himself up to meet your eyes, not a bit of jest in the ones now gazing down at you.

His beautiful face is grave and lovely as his eyes trace yours with a reverence that only ever seems to grow with time.

“Nah,” he shakes his head, bringing the backs of his fingers to gently drag across your cheek, “I’m the lucky one.”

Your breath catches in your chest.

It’s been three months since you lost a dozen games of Super Smash Bros Brawl and your whole entire heart. Three months of rediscovering yourself in the unfamiliar and beautiful context of deep and sincere adoration. Three months of giddy laughter and quiet vulnerability and the safety of strong, gentle arms.

Three months of heaven.

Three months of Changbin.

“I have a confession to make,” his voice comes from over your shoulder and the patter of water against the shower floor.

You hum in response, eyes closed as his fingers lather shampoo against your scalp, filling the humid air with the scent of lemongrass and lavender. His other arm is wrapped around your waist, pulling you close so that your bare back leans flush with his chest.

“…I told Chris.”

Your eyes open, droplets clinging to your lashes like dew.

“About us?”

His hand skims up your side and moves to cup your forehand and tilt it back as you feel the warm spray of the showerhead through your tresses. When the suds are gone he turns you around, hands on your hips. He looks like the cat who caught the canary as he nods and smirks, and you can’t help but smile yourself, even as you attempt to harness an expression of disapproval.

“How’d that happen?”

“He basically called me out on it. Said only one thing could make me so stupidly happy.”

“Mind-blowing sex?” you murmur, pressing your slick skin to his.

“You,” he corrects, his eyes glimmering as he leans down to press wet lips to yours. When he pulls away, you consider for a moment.

“You mean…he knew you liked me? Before?”

“You think my best buddy wouldn’t?”

A pang of guilt twists in your stomach at the remark. Your best friend is still very much in the dark about…well, everything where you and her brother were concerned. You chew your bottom lip as he helps you out of the shower. Absently reaching for the towel he holds out, you blink into focus as your hand clutches at air when it’s drawn back out of your reach.

“What…hey, why are you…?” you glance at Changbin, who is now holding the towel over his head, a victorious look on his features as his eyes rove your form.

“I like you naked. Five more minutes!” He whines with a chuckle as you swat his bulging pectoral and snatch the towel cradling his hips to wrap around your own damp body.

“You’re ridiculous,” you grumble with a smirk, but you adore it - how taken he is with every part of you. How he always wants to touch you, hold you, be close to you in any way he can. And how he never shies away from saying just exactly how you make him feel. 

Though, you’ve noticed a shift in that particular respect over the last few weeks.

You watch him rumple the towel over his hair.

Sometimes he holds something back. You can always see it, lingering behind his eyes and at the corners of this mouth. You can feel it on the tips of his fingers and at the end of each sweet kiss. But it’s grown with time, and you feel the weight of it each time his eyes rest on you when he thinks you’re not aware. 

You suppose it’s only natural that there should still be some mystery between you. Even after all the years you’ve known him, these were uncharted waters, and ones you’d strayed into more than a little clandestinely.

Keeping your relationship secret has had its benefits. It’s given you time to grow without the judgements and perceptions of others playing a part in your gentle discovery of one another. It’s also taken the pressure off of things - not having to answer questions from anyone you haven’t even had the chance to ask yourselves. And it was fucking sexy, to be honest, all the sneaking around. Inconvenient at times to be sure, but still deliciously indulgent to the rebel in you both. 

But as you watch him open the mirrored cabinet to grab the toothbrush he keeps in your bathroom your heart skips a beat and you wonder if it’s time the jig is up.

You settle behind him, slipping your arms around his middle and resting the side of your head against his broad back.

“What did Chris have to say? About me and you?” you ask softly.

Changbin spits into the sink.

“He was stoked for us.”

You smile.

“He did ask if Nari knew.”

You sigh.

“I think she should by now,” he says, turning to speak over his shoulder. “I think it’s time.”

You hum into his skin.

“The longer we wait, the harder it’s going to be. A few months of privacy is alright, we’re still in the clear.”

He’s right. You know he is. You press your damp forehead into his back and sigh.

“It’ll be fine,” he says around his toothbrush.

“She’s gonna freak,” you groan.

“She’ll get over it.”

You sincerely fucking hope so. The faucet squeaks shut and he turns, wrapping you in his big arms, to press a minty kiss to your lips.

“Stop fretting, beautiful,” his dark eyes sparkle down at you, “We’re gonna be okay. Nari too.”

Your heart melts as it settles and his mouth seeks yours again. Yeah. You were gonna be just fine.

You take a deep breath as you ring the bell, and you look down at your feet, shuffling them nervously as you wait for Nari’s door to open. You think back to that night, to Changbin standing on the doorstep with a dish towel over his shoulder. You think of everything that’s changed, and you hope that your best friend can see the beauty in what they’ve become.

You had both wanted to tell Nari yourselves, but you ultimately decided that together would be best. You arranged a hang-out and she suggested dinner at her place. Changbin would show up too, and you’d drop the news after spending some time together.

You raise your eyes.

“Hey, girl!” Nari chimes as the door swings open for you. She’s in joggers and a tank top and she eyes your sundress with an impressed air. “You look cute…” she murmurs as she walks back into the living room and collapses into an armchair. “Oh, and Bin showed up so he’s having dinner with us, alright?”

You nod, swallowing as you dump your purse and sink onto the couch.

“So you feel like Thai or - hey, what’s wrong?” Nari frowns as she looks up from her phone, eyes darting over your face.

Dammit. You shake your head and shoot her a smile. 

“Nothing. Thai sounds great.”

You chew your lip. Your heart is pounding in your chest. You look at Nari. She’s so tiny, but she’s got more fire than anyone you know. You know that whatever happens, this won’t break your bond - nothing could - so why do you feel like you’re about to hurl? You glance over your shoulder, not seeing any sign of Changbin, and you turn back to look at your friend as she scrolls, legs tossed over the arm of her seat.

“Hey, Nari…” 

She hums, not looking up.

“Nari.”

She looks at you and for a moment you just hold her gaze. Things are about to change, and you’re scared - no, you’re terrified - so you just memorize the feeling of the space between you and everything it's been until now. She swings her feet forward and abandons her phone.

“Dude, what’s wrong?” she presses, her pretty features schooled in an expression of concern.

“Look…just know that…” you begin to stammer. And then you hear him.

You usually hear him before you see him. The deep resonance of his voice calling through the house from the garage door. He emerges from the hall, wiping oil stains from his hands with worn cloth. He’s in a white tee shirt and jeans. He’s got a smudge on his cheek. He’s adorable and handsome and you have to stop yourself from running to him.

“Someone just blue torqued your oil cap on, that was all. Next time y—” he catches sight of you on the couch and his eyes go softer and warmer and the smirk on his lips is almost bashful. 

“Hey, beautiful,” he greets you, and your eyes go wide.

“What the fuck?” Nari says, looking up from her phone at her brother as he takes a seat next to you on the couch. 

“Seriously?” you whisper at him in pleading distress, “That’s not how this was supposed to go.”

“What I was saying,” Changbin gives you a reassuring smile and continues, abandoning the rag on his knee to take your hand in his, “Is that whoever changed your oil screwed the cap on too tight.” He’s looking his sister dead in the eye with an air of total placidity and just a hint of defiance.

You whip your head toward your friend, who has frozen where she sits, staring with narrowed eyes at your joined hands.

“Why are you doing that? Stop it.” The tone of her voice seems to offer you one last chance to pull away from him and say what she’s witnessing isn’t what it looks like. What it is.

“What the hell am I looking at right now?” she mutters lowly, her tone just short of acidic.

“We wanted to talk to you…” you press out, not meeting her eyes, “To tell you…”

“We?” she snaps incredulously.

“Hey,” Changbin intercedes, “Let's not lose our heads…”

She stands and scoffs.

“Lose our heads?!” she grits out, “Have you lost your fucking minds?” She blinks, glancing around in disbelief. She looks at you, her face etched with anger and confusion. “He is not the guy you’ve been…” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

You take your shot in the moment of silence that follows.

“It’s not like that, I swear. We didn’t mean for it to happen but—"

“But you got dumped and decided that my brother’s dick was the cure for your sorrows?! Unbelievable.”

“Yah, don’t bring my dick into this!” Changbin protests.

“You are the one that did that, buddy!” she shouts, hands balled into fists.

You barely hear them. You’ve gone mute since her last remark and your ears ring with it. Is that what she thinks of you? Lonely and desperate and selfish? Doubt starts to tighten like a coil in your chest, a little voice you haven’t heard from in a while whispering that she’s right. Your breath starts to come quickly as Changbin and Nari’s voices ring in the air above you.

It isn’t until you feel two strong hands on your shoulders that you realize you’ve spaced out.

“Hey,” he murmurs, brow drawn in concern, “Hey, look at me.”

You blink up at him as your pulse hammers in your ears.

“It’s okay, hey…” he says, pulling you against his chest and you sigh softly. You see Nari for a split second over his shoulder before you shut your eyes, catching her expression waver for a moment as she regards you in his arms.

“This isn’t gonna fly,” Changbin says firmly over his shoulder, and then he pulls you back to meet your eyes. “Let us talk for a second, yeah? Just for a minute. Can you wait in the guest room?” he asks gently.

Your mouth is dry, but you try to answer him.

“I…this is about me too, I…”

“I know,” he interrupts you softly, “But just trust me on this. Just a couple minutes. Okay?”

You nod, and as you back away from him, you glance at Nari. She’s sunk back into her chair and if her body could speak it would tell you to get the fuck out. She’s turned as far away from you as humanly possible without facing the backrest, her hands white-knuckling the arm. You let out a shuddering breath, willing yourself not to let your adrenaline swallow you whole as you head for the guest bed. Silence hangs over the house, your blood still rushing as you click the door shut and sink back against it. After a few moments you hear Nari’s voice. The Seo siblings never did know the definition of the word quiet, and you should move away, you know, but human nature prevails and you tilt your ear against the door.

“My best friend, Bin? Out of everyone in the goddamned world?” she mutters, her voice cold.

“Why is that a bad thing? Shouldn’t you be happy for us?” he insists. “And don’t cut her down like that, you’re gonna hurt her.”

“The truth hurts sometimes.”

“Not like that, it shouldn't.”

You hear her sigh in exasperation.

“We’re family, Bin. We’re part of each other’s lives, for good! When this ends in a fucking dumpster fire what then?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“As if you can guarantee that?! Don’t let some schoolboy fantasy ruin—"

“That’s not what this is. I care for her.”

Nari lets out a huff.

“Yeah, so end it then. This isn’t right.”

“No. The only thing that could ever convince me to let her go would be if she wanted to walk away from this,” he counters firmly.

“You know, she might.”

“Stop it.”

“Bin, you don’t know her as well as I do! She just got out of a really serious relationship - they were probably gonna get married. Can you see that happening with you? Marriage? A family? This is a fling for her.”

“No, Nari.”

“A young guy giving her attention when she’s low?” Nari’s voice goes high and tight. “Fuck! I hate this for both of you! It needs to stop before you really hurt each other.”

Changbin is silent for a long moment. When he speaks again, his voice shakes a little, and it makes you want to cry.

“It’s too late for that. If she leaves it will tear my heart out, and you know what? I don’t even care. Because she was dying inside. That asshole was killing her. And she let me hold her. She let me tell her she was beautiful and strong, and she believed me. So even if this has an expiration date for her…fuck, I’ll just be grateful for the rest of my life that she let me be the one to pick her up and put her on her feet.”

The room goes silent as the words that fell from his mouth sink in, and when his voice cuts through the thick of it again, you can hear his wet eyes and drawn brow.

“Nari, I love her.”

Your heart stops in your chest.

“Changbin…” Nari’s voice is softer in its surprise. 

You hear him draw in a long breath and sniff.

“Does she…fuck. Does she feel that way too?” she asks, much more gently.

“If she does, she’ll tell me when she’s ready.”

Another silence stretches between them.

“Shit…” Nari whispers, and you hear her get up and cross the room.

When no one speaks for a long time, you peep through the crack in the door to see your tiny best friend with her arms wrapped around her brother, and his face buried in her shoulder.

And suddenly, they’re twelve years younger, and Nari is crying on your bed - something she never does - telling you that Changbin blames himself for their parents’ divorce. Your ears echo with her worries, after a few drinks one night in grad school, about how her little brother carries a childishness with him because emotionally he never got to be one, always supporting their mother’s cares and then trying to be the man of the house when their father left, mourning that she doesn’t know how to set him free of it. You think back to three months ago on the floor of Nari’s living room where he saw you and held you as you shattered.

You catch your own gaze in the mirror above the bed across the room and you want to smash it to pieces - its reflection just another selfish person indulging in this precious soul’s exhausted strength and resilience while he continues to refuse himself permission to be weak.

Your purse and phone are still in the living room but you don’t care. You slip out and through the garage. You walk. And then you run.

You notice, when you come to a little park a few blocks away that your cheeks are wet. Trudging through the grass and onto the playground, you huddle yourself into the mouth of a tube slide.

You’re not going to hurt him anymore...and maybe Nari's right. Maybe caring for him means it means wounding him one last time.

After crying into your knees for what feels like an eternity, you hear the wood chips crunching under heavy steps.

You look up and see Changbin, hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans as he approaches you. He crouches down in front of you, close enough that his thighs brush your knees where they hook over the edge of the slide, and hands you your phone.

“You took off,” he murmurs, sounding a little wounded. “Don’t leave your phone like that, it’s not safe.”

You pull a hand over your swollen eyes.

“Sorry,” you whisper pathetically.

“Come on,” he tugs you up and out of the slide, but you don’t make it far. You collapse onto the low platform of the jungle gym.

“I…I can’t do this to you,” you choke.

“Do what?” he murmurs, sinking down beside you and pulling you into him.

You sob.

“Nari’s right, Bin. I’m so s-selfish. You’re always everyone’s r-rock, even when you shouldn’t have to be. Always the s-strong one. And I…I’m just dumping all my p-problems on you just like everyone else…I…”

He pulls your face back, hands on either side of your head as he gazes down at you, his brow drawn and his eyes searching your face.

“You think that’s what this is?” he asks in a raspy whisper. His lips curve up at one side and he huffs. “Dumping your problems on me?” He shakes his head. “Do you even realize…”

You blink up at him, sniffing. He draws a deep breath, his eyes flicking skyward before they meet yours again.

“When my dad left, who’d come over after school? Who brought me a candy bar and sat on my desk in my room and drove me crazy while I was trying to sulk over algebra homework every damn day for two straight weeks?” 

Your lips quirk into a ghost of a smile, you’d forgotten about that.

“And then when I graduated,” he continues, “And my family didn’t want me to chase music,” he runs a thumb over your cheek, “Who told me that they believed in me? That if anyone could do it, I could?”

You sigh, and bite your lip to repress another sob as you lean into his touch.

“Who is the prettiest, funniest, kindest woman in the world, who for some reason wants me to hold her and kiss her? Tells me her secrets…makes me feel…” his big strong hands are trembling as they cradle your face, “like I’m already the man I want to be?”

Fat tears are rolling down your cheeks.

“Bin…” you whisper in a desperate plea as you lean up to kiss him.

He presses his lips to yours again and again. 

“You’re not a burden…”

A kiss. 

“…You’re an angel.”

Another.

“You’re…”

“Changbin, I love you.”

His lips are suspended over yours where you whispered the confession, and for a moment he doesn’t move, as if refusing to disrupt the beautiful centimeters of space into which they had been uttered. He pulls back and stares at you, and for once, his eyes don’t sparkle. They crash over you, drowning you in the depths of their unchecked emotion. And you see it, what he’s been holding back - the strength and weakness, courage and fear, joy, sorrow, confidence, insecurity, passion, doubt - all of him, his whole heart, for you. 

“Me too,” he whispers, and you lean up on your knees and crush him in an embrace, bringing his head to your breast.

His arms wrap around your waist as he anchors himself to you, and you hold him.

You hold each other.

Glancing out of the kitchen window your eyes scan over dirt and cement of the backyard as you sort the last of the glasses into the cupboard. The landscaping of your new condo’s fairly sizable outdoor lot wasn’t much, but you could change that. You mentally schedule a trip to the nursery tomorrow - you’ll take Nari. She’s still warming up to things, but she’s getting there. Two days after the big conversation she’d taken you out for drinks and you’d tearfully hugged it out after a pitcher of margaritas.

You hear footsteps behind you, then a hand slips into your back pocket and lips press themselves below your ear.

“Chris says he’s sorry he couldn’t be back to help out,” Changbin mumbles against your skin.

You hum, moving toward the last box as your boyfriend follows your steps, hand still tucked into your jeans, as if he were a built-in attachment.

“I would have hated for the poor guy to have to use his first weekend back helping us move anyway,” you muse, opening a drawer and to find silverware tossed in a haphazard pile. “Who did this?”

“What?” Changbin looks over your shoulder. “Should it be somewhere else?”

Apparently having a bunch of twenty-something-year-old dudes help you move had its pros and cons. You open the box on the counter and fish out an organizer, handing it to Changbin.

“Chris actually extended his trip,” he says with a smirk, releasing you to stack spoons into one of the plastic slots.

“Oh?”

“Met a girl in the UK. Apparently things are moving kinda fast.”

“Yeah?” you smile over at him, “Good for Chris! What’s he said about her?”

“The usual Romeo stuff. Jisung calls her HP,” he snickers.

“Umm…Hewlett Packard? High priority?” you raise a brow at him, shrugging your shoulders.

“Hot piercings.”

You grin. “Nice.”

“Finished the studio,” he remarks, sliding the organizer into the drawer.

“Yeah?” You break down the cardboard box and toss it onto the stack of others. “Give me the tour!”

He shakes his head, clicking his tongue.

“I don’t think you should be allowed in there.”

“What! Why?” you huff, hands on your hips as Changbin turns and crowds you back against the edge of the sink.

“Because, I’ll never get anything done but you…” he growls, leaning in for a kiss, but you push him back.

“But you said I helped you pass algebra!”

He lets out a hearty laugh.

“I said you cheered me up - I almost failed that class.”

“Seriously?”

He smirks, raising a brow at you.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to do math while a hot girl is sitting on your desk licking chocolate off her fingers?”

You roll your eyes theatrically.

“So where exactly am I allowed, hm?”

“My bed, for starters,” he quips, hitching onto the rim of the sink.

“Our bed,” you correct him with a grin, weaving your arms around his neck.

“Yeah…” he murmurs dreamily, leaning in to kiss you as your fingers tangle in his hair.

He pulls you off the counter, arms under your thighs, and you giggle into his mouth.

You don’t mind when he carries you these days. You don’t feel like a burden, and not just because he can take it. Because you know you’re holding him as much as he’s holding you - that in each other’s arms you’re safe.

In each other’s arms, you’re strong.

-Fin-

[anangelwhodidntfall]

Don't Matter: Lewis Hamilton

Formula One Masterlist

word count: 1k

description: a bad experience while out shopping with Lewis has you questioning your relationship with him.

Today was supposed to be a nice day out shopping with your boyfriend. You guys had been walking around browsing different shops when you came across a jewelry store. Who knew a prefect day could go downhill in ten minutes?

"Why don't you look around while I go grab our drinks?" Lewis had said. 

"Okay." You said giving him a kiss before walking inside. 

You walked inside and went over to the ring section just to look to see if anything caught your eye. 

"Hi there, is there anything I can help you with?" The associate asked as she glanced at your outfit. 

"No just looking around." You said giving her a small smile. 

You continued browsing around as you felt her follow you around, and you let out a sigh. You should've known better than to come in here without Lewis, people like you would always be looked down upon.  You reached into your pockets and grabbed your phone preparing to text lewis when your sleeve fell down revealing your charm bracelet that lewis had gotten you for your birthday. 

"Security! We have a possible theft happening!" The staff yelled as she grabbed your wrist.

"what are you talking about? I was wearing this when I walked in." You said. 

"No you weren't. Nice try though." She said. 

"Yes I was! I never take this thing off, it was gift from my boyfriend! See!." You said showing her a picture of you and lewis. 

"I highly doubt that someone like lewis Hamilton is dating someone like you, let alone buying a $5000 bracelet." She said. 

"Hey! Give me that back! My boyfriend gave me that!" You said as the bracelet was removed from your wrist. 

"I highly doubt someone like Lewis Hamilton would date someone like you, let alone buy you an expensive bracelet like this. If you leave now we won't involve the authorities." She said. 

You grabbed your bag and rushed out of their nearly crashing into Lewis who had just returned from getting y'all's drinks. He immediately set the drinks down and gathered you in his arms worried about you. 

"Sweets what happened? Why are you crying?" Lewis asked gently stroking your hair. 

"Nothing. Can you please just go get my bracelet back?" You asked.

"Your bracelet? Why would I need to go get it back?" He asked you confused. 

"They accused me of stealing it and lying about my relationship with you. They said that you would never date someone like me, let alone buy me a $5,000 dollar charm bracelet." You said as anger boiled inside his chest.

The bracelet you were referring to was a gift from Lewis for your birthday that had charms on it that meant things to you. He had it custom made for you and never thought that someone would accuse you of stealing. How dare they treat you like that based on how you look? How dare you they say those things to you? 

"I'll be back." Was all Lewis said. 

"Lewis please it's not that big of deal!" You said following him into the store. 

"Does someone want to explain to me why my girlfriend was so rudely treated based on her appearance? Please explain to me where you got the nerve to comment on my relationship with her and then accuse her of stealing?" He said. 

"Mr Hamilton we are so sorry, there must have been some kind of mistake." The owner said trying to smooth the situation over. 

"No mistake here, your staff all took one look at my girl at judge her and then accused her of stealing and saying some hurtful things. Give me her bracelet back now and believe me when I say your company will never get my business again." He said. 

The staff member gave you the bracelet back but it was already ruined a few of the charms had fallen off. Lewis didn't miss the way you eyes water upon seeing the state of your bracelet. 

"I'm sorry about the mix up miss." She said. 

"No you're not. Your only sorry because my boyfriend and your boss made you give me my bracelet back. You people always look down on people like me and then try to kiss our ass when you find out we have money." You said giving her a nasty look. 

You two made your way out of the store and into Lewis's car where you guys drove home not feeling up to shopping anymore. 

Lewis hated seeing how much the other day affected you, you had shut down not wanting any gifts from him, and just withdrawn. He had sent your bracelet off to get fixed after that store broke it and it finally came back and he couldn't wait to give it back you. 

"Where's mama Roscoe?" Lewis asked scratching his ears. 

The two of them made their way towards y'all's bedroom where he found you sitting in reading. he quietly knocked and you looked up at him giving a small smile as you closed your book. 

"I got something for you sweets." He said taking a seat on the bed and handing you the box. 

"Lew I couldn't..." You started to say but he grabbed your hand and pulled you into his lap. 

"Sweets I know what happened the other day made you get into your head...but trust me when I say that there is no one else for me, you are absolutely prefect. I don't care that you don't come from money or have a high paying job. I care only about the beautiful, kind girl who given me the  absolute honor of having her as my girlfriend." He said placing a kiss on your lips. 

"I'm sorry for shutting you out the last few days, between the incident and what they said, it just got in my head." You said to him. 

"No need to apologize, I understand. Just as long as you understand, I will always defend and spoil you." He said making you smile as he handed you a box. 

You carefully opened the box and were shocked to see your bracelet that had been broken a few days ago. You smiled as you lifted it up and saw all your charms and been put back on, before throwing your arms around Lewis. 

"Thank you for being the best boyfriend ever, I don't deserve you." You said. 

"It's me who doesn't deserve you." He said. 

"Can you put it on me?" You asked shyly.

"Of course sweets." He said wrapping the bracelet around your wrist before placing a kiss on your knuckles. 

"I love you Lew." You said placing a kiss on his lips. 

"I love you sweetheart." He said looking at you with a smile. 

[ro-is-struggling]

The Princess and The Wolf || PART 1 || Geralt of Rivia x Reader

Summary: A look inside the complicated love story between the runaway princess and the lone wolf that saved her.

Warnings: fluff, angst, mutual pining, really bittersweet, heavy narration and not much dialogue, female reader (use of she/her pronouns//reader is a princess), mentions of blood and injuries (reader heals Geralt’s wounds), my shitty titles (I’m so bad at it, I’m so sorry)

English is not my first language

Word count: 5000

Notes: Look,  I was in the mood for writing something cute and fluffy and magical (but also it's Geralt so it as to be angsty). I know those are probably not the words that come to your mind when you think of Geralt, but let me change your mind! Also I love writing healers/nature witches. Can you tell my fav character as a kid was Flora from Winx Club? 

This is my first time writing something like this (as in this style of narrative and for this character in particular) so be gentle!

PART 2 || PART 3

Geralt was not used to feeling that way. In his many years of living on this earth, he had never missed anyone the way he missed her. He was a lone wolf who, despite having his pack, enjoyed traveling from town to town with his horse as his only companion. He enjoyed the silence and tranquility, and did not tend to miss home too much —finding that his annual visits in the winter were more than enough to catch up with his brothers while healing his wounds. 

However, he did miss her when he was traveling. He missed feeling the warm touch of her skilled hands on his wounds as she healed him. He missed waking up to the sound of her laughter, talking to her cat as she prepared breakfast. He even missed her scolding and the look of concern she gave him every time he arrived at the door of her cabin hidden in the forest, injured. She made him feel special, often occupying his thoughts and dreams. He knew what it was, but refused to call it by name —if he did, it became real and he didn't know if he was ready for that.

Such was his longing to see her that he was almost happy to be wounded in battle, finding the perfect excuse to show up at her door once again. His wounds were deep, the beast's venom slowly spreading through his system. Were it not for the fact that he was close to her home, Geralt was fairly certain he would not have reached her in time. His healing skills were limited and only served to make his journey to the hut more bearable. Yet, the closer he got to her, the less his body ached. The promise of her company alone was enough to cure his afflictions.

Geralt was weak when he arrived at her door. From the way her natural cheerful expression turned into a worried grimace when she saw him on the other side of the wood, it was safe to assume he was not looking good. She rushed him to bed, asking him a thousand questions as she paced back and forth, gathering the necessary herbs and potions to treat his wounds. He answered no more than necessary, giving her just enough information to treat him and sparing her the details of his journey. 

He was distracted, his mind clouded by the lack of blood and the poison spreading through his body, but also by the sweet floral scent that surrounded him. It was a perfume he could only describe as the very essence of her, a mixture of jasmine, roses and a hint of vanilla that followed her everywhere, leaving a special scent in the air that assaulted the witcher's nostrils, rendering him powerless. 

"Drink this," she told him as she offered him a vial of a pale green liquid. It was a potion that would help with the poison, she explained, though he needed no reason to obey her. Geralt trusted her completely and would have drank anything she offered without question. 

"Try to hold still, this might sting a little." She warned him, pushing his clothes aside so she could treat the deep gash in his chest. She smeared her fingers with a paste that had a peculiar odor, rubbing it over her hands to warm it before directing them to the wound. Geralt was met with a burning sensation that spread from his wound to the rest of his chest as soon as her fingers made contact with his skin. He let out a grunt, fighting the spasms of his muscles to allow her to work comfortably. However, the burning was soon replaced by a sensation of pleasant warmth as she uttered an incantation in the ancient tongue. 

He concentrated on the harmonious sound of her voice, letting the words transport him back to that first time they had found themselves in a similar situation. He had been hired by the king to assassinate the beast that had killed the princess. It was said that it prowled the forest after sunset, it was there that the young girl had met her fatal fate. Her love for nature and the long walks under the moonlight was what had ultimately made her an easy prey for that monster. Geralt did not retain the specific details of that story, only what was useful to analyze his enemy. Had he done so, he might have realized that there were strange things in the story that would make any Witcher suspicious. And perhaps then he would not have been so surprised when he found the princess very much alive and well, wandering through the forest alone.

"Please, don't make me go back there." She had begged him after explaining that she had taken advantage of the beast's convenient appearance to escape from her home. "There's nothing waiting for me back there, only a future of unhappiness and subjugation to a man that doesn't respect me."

"I was hired to kill a beast and that's all I intend to do." Was his reply. He was more than ready to continue on his way, to leave her behind to sort out her fate while he dealt with what he had been hired to do, but the princess did not give him the opportunity. She begged for his help to escape from there, she didn't care where he took her as long as he got her as far away from her kingdom as possible. Her escape had not been planned, but a last minute decision that had not allowed her to pack supplies or even steal a horse from the stable. Still, she had been able to travel a fairly long way on foot, but it was evident that she could not continue like this much longer.

"I can't pay you in coin," she told him. "But I can make sure you survive your battle."

Geralt felt sorry for the young woman and was going to help her without asking for anything in return. He really doubted that she had anything valuable to offer him. He was a Witcher, an assassin highly trained in both combat and the arts of magic, tools he used to keep himself alive in the high-risk situations he lived in on a regular basis. However, his mercy proved useful after the battle, when the young princess demonstrated her healing abilities.

His wounds were deep, he was tired and his skin was painted with the reddish sticky liquid that ran through the beast's veins. But still, he was able to crawl to safety where she waited for him with his horse Roach. When she saw him approaching on the horizon she jumped to her feet, hands full of herbs she had gathered in preparation for that moment. Geralt could see nothing but a halo of light in the distance, a figure of hope running towards him with hair flying in the wind as it called his name.

He collapsed against a tree trunk, his breath hitching as the world around him became blurry and dark. He was not unconscious, but neither was he able to process what was happening around him. His memories of that moment were blurry, like a dream slipping from his mind upon awakening. The only thing he remembered clearly was a sweet female voice calling him back to life as soft hands caressed his skin, spreading their comforting warmth inside him.

Geralt had felt peace for the first time in a long while as her hands worked their magic on him, just as he felt at this very moment as her fingers caressed his skin once again. It always happened, her touch alone flooded his insides with peace and tranquility. Maybe that was why he missed her so much, maybe that was why he found himself visiting her for the simplest injuries that even he could heal. Unlike other healers, she was the only one who could calm his tormented soul, the only one who could quiet his thoughts and remove all traces of bitter negativity from his heart. 

"Rest." He heard her whisper in his ear and as much as he wanted to, he didn't have the strength to open his eyes and look at her one more time. Geralt knew he was tired, but only now, in the quiet of her company and wrapped in the warmth of her body, did he realize just how much. 

When he opened his eyes again it was morning. The rays of sunlight streaming through the window touched his face in a warm caress. His pupils were forced to adjust to the light as he opened his eyes, narrowing to almost two slits identical to those of the black cat resting beside him. The animal meowed contentedly as he shifted between the sheets —letting out a grunt of pain at the heaviness of his muscles. He stroked the cat as it purred at him, scratching its head and behind its ears as he knew it liked, before making an effort to get out of bed. His body ached and he still felt tired, but given what he had been through, he was lucky to be alive. 

Geralt heard the sweet sound of the young woman's voice echoing down the hallway like a melodious murmur that filled his heart with joy. It came from the garden, so that was where he went. He found her having a conversation with Roach, brushing the horse's mane while complaining about him to the animal as if it could talk back. They were harmless comments that he knew she didn't mean, though he'd heard them in the past —complaints about his recklessness and lack of responsibility as a horse owner were never lacking. She was especially fond of animals, so she loved to talk to his horse as if he were a human being. She did it with her cat as well, and with any animal that crossed her path. Geralt found it entertaining, though a bit excessive —especially when they traveled together and she made him stop every so often to pet and chat with every rabbit and squirrel in their path.

"What are you doing out of bed? You need to rest!" She scolded him as soon as her eyes landed on him. As firm as her gaze was, he could see concern rather than anger or annoyance reflected in them.

"I would have stayed in bed if I hadn't felt the need to come out and defend my good name." He played along, the corner of his mouth curving ever so slightly upward in an almost imperceptible movement. "I can't have you filling Roach's head with lies about me."

"They are not lies!" She grumbled, folding her arms in exaggerated annoyance. "You are reckless and you don't give poor Roach enough attention." At her words, the animal thumped its front left paw against the ground as if it understood what she had said and agreed. Geralt huffed, shaking his head slightly in disbelief.

"You already turned her against me." She laughed and it was like music to his ears, a melodious tone that awakened happiness within him. 

"I don't have to, she is a smart creature." She fired back, giving the horse a couple of gentle pets before setting aside what she was doing to focus her attention on him. "But seriously, you need to get back in bed."

"I'm fine." It wasn't a complete lie, but it wasn't the truth either. She looked at him steadily and Geralt knew she thought she looked intimidating, but with the way the light of the rising sun framed her figure and the gentle breeze moving her hair, he saw nothing more than a forest fairy. The most beautiful and innocent fairy he had ever seen. He was tempted to challenge her just to tease her and make her grumble. She looked adorable when she pointed an accusatory finger at him believing that something she did or said could intimidate the Witcher. In the end he decided not to do so and instead accompanied her back into the house, though he did not lie down again, but sat with her at the kitchen table. 

She insisted on preparing breakfast on her own, arguing that he was her guest and that he was badly injured, so Geralt had the opportunity to admire her as she moved about the room, humming under her breath melodies he did not recognize. It made him genuinely happy to see her acting so freely around him, thinking about how far their relationship had come. When he had first met her, she was far from the confident, free spirit she was now. She was quiet and reserved, barely asking him questions from time to time to fill the void of silence and always apologizing for everything.

It was more than mere distrust of a stranger, Geralt could see in her eyes that she was trapped inside herself, a cocoon of fears and insecurities that trapped in its intricate net the beautiful butterfly that lurked within. She would show her true colors from time to time, like when he would catch her talking to Roach when she thought he was sleeping, or when she would make them stop to help a wounded animal. But she always apologized immediately afterwards, as if she realized too late that she had done something wrong, something she wasn't supposed to do. It made Geralt wonder what kind of life she had left behind when she ran away from home. 

He was not a man of many words and was used to traveling alone and in silence, accompanied only by the chirping of birds and the crunching of dry leaves under Roach's hooves, but when it came to her he felt a strange need to hear her speak. Perhaps it was the harmonious tone of her voice, or maybe the fact that he could tell she needed to express herself, but he didn't mind when she rambled absentmindedly as they traveled, putting into words every thought that crossed her mind. 

"I was never meant to be a princess, no matter what my blood says." She had confessed to him one afternoon as they walked through the forest. "The traditions, the politics, the expectations... I was never good at any of that."

"Is that why you ran away?" His question took her by surprise. He barely spoke to her so she assumed he wasn't listening to her most of the time. When she turned to look at him she found his yellow eyes fixed on her, making her feel small under his intense gaze.

"I wanted to be free." She answered honestly. "I refused to live trapped inside a castle for another day, pretending to be someone I'm not, pleasing everybody but myself... I want to forge my own path, build my own destiny. I have no idea what I'm doing or if it will even work, but I owe it to myself to try."

Geralt admired her for that. She wasn't sure what she wanted, but she knew what she didn't want and had had the courage to do something about it. That was why he was so glad things were going well for her. She deserved her freedom, she deserved to have the space to find herself and live her life on her terms. Her bravery had been rewarded.

"How are you feeling?" She asked him as she set a plate of food in front of him, her voice bringing him out of his thoughts. 

"I'm fine."

"Are you? Or are you doing that thing you do all the time when you pretend not to need anyone's help?" She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, proud of herself for knowing him so well. 

Geralt sighed. "I'm a bit sore and tired, but I'll live." He finally confessed.

"That's normal, you were really hurt. I'm amazed that you got here in one piece." 

"You should have seen the other guy." He joked sarcastically and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm being serious, Geralt. The poison could have killed you."

"It didn't."

"Only because of your slow heartbeat, but what if next time you don't get so lucky?" The tone of the conversation suddenly changed as they looked into each other's eyes. The familiar heavy tension in the air, making it hard to breathe. 

It was her greatest fear. She feared there would come a day when Geralt's wounds would be so bad that even she wouldn't be able to heal them. She feared it almost as much as never opening the door again and finding him on the other side. The thought of him dying, at home or out on the battlefield, terrified her. She knew it was stupid since he was a Witcher, a being genetically modified to face the greatest dangers, whose purpose in life was to kill monsters. She knew the smart thing to do would have been to get away from him in time, before his absence hurt her as much as it did. She knew there was no point in worrying about someone who had made peace with the idea of dying in battle, but she did it anyway. She couldn't help but fear for his safety the moment he set foot outside her home, worrying until he would eventually show up there again.

"Just... be careful." She muttered after a few seconds of silence, swallowing her emotions as a lump formed in her throat.

Geralt could see the pain in her eyes, the fear and worry shining in them clearly. He felt the need to assure her that he would be all right, but they both knew that was a lie. In his line of work one could never be sure of anything. Things could change very quickly and even he could be surprised with the cold caress of death sooner than expected. The best he could do was to assure her that he would do everything in his power to get back to her.

"I will be." 

That wasn't enough to dissipate the young woman's fears, but it was enough to calm her worries for the moment. Instead of concentrating on things she couldn't control, she chose to turn her attention to the things she could. After breakfast she inspected Geralt's wounds once more to make sure they were healing properly. With the help of her magic and the speed with which the Witcher's body regenerated, the deep gash that adorned his chest was now no more than a scratch. The skin was still red and irritated, but it was in better condition than just a few hours ago. The same with the rest of the cuts and scratches that graced the rest of his body, some of which had already disappeared completely, leaving behind a slightly discolored line on the skin.

She sat beside him as she worked, rubbing a healing paste of her own creation over what was left of his wounds. She focused her energy on him, eyes glued to the skin of his chest as she let her fingers work their magic. She knew it probably wasn't necessary, given the rapid evolution of his cuts they would most likely be practically healed in a couple more hours. But she wanted to do it. She didn't like to see him hurt, even if it was something that happened regularly. He always came to her bruised and bloody, but even then she never got used to seeing him like that. She hated to see him suffer, so when he was with her she would go out of her way to heal all the wounds on his body no matter how small or insignificant. She wanted to make her home a sanctuary for him, a place free of pain and danger where they were safe to be together.

Geralt could feel her energy enveloping him, the warmth her body radiated caressing his skin delicately. The scent of her hair flooded his nostrils, filling his lungs with that sweet floral perfume that was so distinctive to him. It was intoxicating, a drug he couldn't quit. He allowed himself to get lost in the moment, enjoying the soft touch of her hands on his chest and shoulders as he admired her work. She was beautiful, like a flower full of color and life that only grew stronger with each of his visits. Her smile, a ray of sunshine that lit up the gray, cloudy sky that was his life. And her eyes... oh her eyes. Geralt could get lost in them for hours, reading in her reflection every little thought that went through her head. To him she was an open book, the most fascinating he had read in a long time.

She became slightly nervous when she looked up and met Geralt's intense gaze fixed on her. They were close, too close to each other for her not to feel intimidated under the watchful admiration of his amber orbs. And yet, she couldn't look away from him. She couldn't help but marvel at the sharp angles of his features, counting the small scars that adorned his skin as her eyes traveled down his face. Those were two traits that people normally found intimidating about him. He had the face of a reckless warrior, a lone wolf with no feelings that augured trouble. But she knew him better than that, she knew the man behind the rumors and knew there was much more to his story and his character. When she looked at him she saw more than the dangerous Witcher. She saw the man who had saved her from her terrible fate, the one she missed and longed for when he was far away, the only man who occupied her thoughts. 

Geralt's eyes strayed to her lips as she caressed them with her tongue. It was an innocent act but he felt it as a temptation, a challenge he had every intention of accepting. He leaned forward, feeling her warm, slightly quickened breath colliding and mingling with his own. He held still for a moment, waiting for her to pull back and move away. When she didn't, Geralt moved a little closer to her until he felt the tip of her nose brush against his. When he looked up one last time, he noticed that she was looking at him with half lidded eyes, completely at his mercy. She was in a trance, lost in the deep amber of his eyes, with no thought in her mind but him. It was the moment they had both been waiting for, the culmination of all the tension that had built up.

But before they could join their lips in the long-awaited kiss, the sound of the cat jumping on top of the table interrupted them. The animal's meow broke the trance and she realized what was about to happen. Embarrassed, she pulled away from Geralt immediately, mumbling something about feeding the cat as she disappeared from his vision. He would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed, still longing to feel her lips on his, but perhaps it was for the best. If he kissed her he would never want to stop or leave again, and he knew that wasn't possible. His place was out there on the road with his horse as his only companion. He was not meant to stay in one place for long, his profession had taken that privilege away from him long ago.

“Your wounds are almost healed.” She stated as she returned to the room, picking up the cat and setting it down off the table. It was an excuse so she wouldn't have to look him in the eye when talking, something to occupy herself so she wouldn't think about what had just happened.

"Guess I'll be leaving tonight then." He was in no hurry to leave, he would gladly stay another week there with her if he could, but he knew that wasn't wise. He could never stay too long with her since he always feared the effects it might have. The more time he spent with her, sharing moments of domestic intimacy, the harder it was for him to get back on the road. The last time he had been there he had ended up running away in the middle of the night, knowing he couldn't leave if he had to look her in the eye and say goodbye. And now he feared that nothing had changed, so he had to get out of there before it was too late.

"I would rather you stay one more night and rest here." She said in a soft tone, trying to hide the true meaning behind her words. She didn't want him to leave, not yet. "Your physical wounds might be healing fast but don't forget that you were poisoned and you almost died. Witcher or not, that's a lot." 

"I'll be fine."

"Maybe, but would it kill you to stay here one more night for my own sake? Because if you walk through that door now, I will spend the rest of my days worrying about you until I see you again." She finally worked up the courage to look at him, pleading with her eyes for him to listen to her. She knew that if he wanted to leave there was nothing she could do to stop him, so she hoped he would have mercy on her. "I just want to make sure that you're alright."

Geralt couldn't refuse her even if he wanted to, not when she was looking at him with big, bright eyes full of love. Not when her voice was almost a whisper, as if she was afraid he would hear her. He understood the feeling, the fear of admitting what he really felt. But it was easier that way. It was the best thing for both of them. Their lives were incompatible as were their personalities. 

She was a nice sunny summer afternoon and he was a harsh winter night. She was a ray of sunshine that with her warm touch awakened life in everything around her and he was the cold, cruel snow that buried everything under a layer of ice. Maybe that was why he felt this inexplicable attraction to her, as if they were connected by an invisible thread that pulled him to her every time he tried to walk away. Her warmth melted the ice around him, allowing new things to blossom in the fertile soil. Only he didn't know if there was anything left under the ice that could bloom. If so, he had to be careful because her warmth, though pleasant and comforting, could lead to his doom.

Still, he ignored his brain's warnings, giving in to her pleas. They spent the day together and Geralt allowed himself to lose himself in the intimacy and domestic bliss of the moment. He indulged in the fantasy of a life by her side as he admired her dancing around the kitchen while cooking or moving among the plants as she tended to her garden, talking to the squirrels and birds that wandered by. He delighted in the sound of her voice as she called his name and enjoyed her melodious laughter. 

When the sun went down, she lay beside him on the bed, talking nonsense until her eyelids began to feel heavy. She denied being sleepy several times, assuring him that she was just resting her eyes. Geralt snorted, but said nothing, listening intently to the story she was telling him about a deer she had saved from death between masked yawns. She didn't get to finish the story, not consciously at least. She mumbled a couple of almost inaudible gibberish before falling asleep, fighting her last battle against her body's need for rest.

Geralt watched her sleep for a good while, his eyes admiring the peace on her face in the dim candlelight. She had never looked so ethereal, with her hair spread out on the pillow like a halo around her head, and her chest rising and falling slowly with her calm breathing. Her skin was soft under his touch, a stark contrast to the roughness of his fingers bruised from all the fighting and constant use of the sword. She was the most beautiful piece of art, a sculpture carved by the gods themselves. He almost felt unworthy to be by her side, the softness of her features reminding him once again how different they were, how wrong his feelings were. 

He got out of bed with a heavy heart, searching for his things while being very careful not to make a sound so as not to alert her. He couldn't stay there one more night, if he woke up in the morning with her by his side he would never want to leave and he knew very well that it wouldn't end well. So, he placed a soft kiss on her forehead, just a brush of his lips against her skin as a farewell.

Geralt disappeared into the darkness of the night without leaving any trace of his presence. When she opened her eyes the next morning she was disappointed to find herself alone in bed. She didn't have to leave the room to know he was gone, she could feel his absence in the air. She felt lonely and cold again, already missing the warmth that filled her whenever he was around. Letting out a tired sigh, she dropped into a chair near the door. Her eyes were glued to the wood, her mind filled with thoughts of Geralt. She wondered if he was alright and if he was missing her as much as she was missing him. 

And just like that, the cycle continued, his departure leading the way to the stage of uncertainty and worry that grew in her with each passing day as she awaited his return. Her eyes remained glued to the door at all times, her ears attentive to the sounds waiting to hear Roach's footsteps approaching in the distance. She hated this moment. She hated not hearing from Geralt. She hated not being able to hear his low, raspy voice or feel the warmth of his body against hers. She hated the amount of energy she wasted worrying about him. But most of all, she hated knowing that all her suffering would be worth it the moment he came knocking on her door again.

I have more ideas for these two so if you guys like it let me know!

PART 2 HERE

[nanamis-bigtie]

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puzzle night | higuruma x afab!reader x kusakabe

cw: smut, one night stand, threesome, reader with a vagina summary: insomnia-ridden night leads to an accidental meeting at a konbini. all three of you seek snacks, alcohol and company to chew through sleepless hours, and from word to word you end up at your place and join forces to tackle the puzzles you left scattered in your living room.

estimated word count: 5000 current word count: 0 words sponsored: 500/5000

beggar's privilege | toji x plus size afab!reader

cw: smut, friends with benefits, sex in exchange of a favor, reader with a vagina summary: toji is one of your favorite regulars at the shady bar where you're working. he's often cashless but he keeps shady guys at distance and helps you around in exchange for food. sometimes though the help you need has nothing to do with your work.

estimated word count: 5000 current word count: 0 words sponsored: 2000/5000

sugar and spice | nanami x plus size afab!reader

cw: smut, nanami lives!au, newly married couple, reader with a vagina summary: after the tragedy of shibuya and forced retirement, nanami is determined to catch up on every joy he missed. and you are the greatest joy of his life, you and your cooking he can taste now whenever he wants.

estimated word count: 5000 current word count: 0 words sponsored: 0/5000

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[bones4thecats]

┗ A Star's Shield; Starscream × F! S/O ┛

Characters: Starscream (Transformers One) A/N: This was a lot of fun to write, though I do believe it could have been better, I do think it turned out pretty good. Anyways, sorry for the long wait for this. Enjoy <3 Trigger Warnings for: Kidnapping, corrupt government, assault, unwanted advances. Sentinel is just his own trigger warning at this point. ⇘ Summary: After being captured by Airachnid and the Cybertronian Government, you were thrown into a room with the rest of your captured High Guard members and two miner bots. As you were handed over to Sentinel Prime by his right-hand, you notice your sparkmate, Starscream, watching you in an attempt to keep you and himself calm. But, when Sentinel begins to speak, not even B-127 could keep himself calm. Italic words = past memories

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💫 A cozy set of rays from the sun began to cover Cybertron. Another day, another restless amount of hours trying to sabotage Sentinel Prime beyond what his reputation could save.

💫 The steps of a seeker made you look up from the surface floor of your base's exteriors. There, walking up to you, was Starscream. He had been leading your guard, the High Guard, for so long that you could hardly keep count, and that says a lot.

💫 Starscream looked at you and nodded. You responded the same as you looked back outside. It was hard to see without expert optics, but, far out in the distance, was Iacon City. Your optics narrowed as memories you once made there popped up. Anyone who understood your real self knew why that bothered you so much.

"I heard from Wreckwave that the Iacon 5000 is happening tomorrow." Starscream said.

"I did too. Why does it matter? Are we planning something big during it or something?" You questioned back.

"No. Though, it would be of expert insight that at least some-bot goes there to check on how the city is holding together after all this time."

💫 His optics slightly shut as he chuckled. He then lifted his arm and wrapped it around your shoulders, pulling you into his side as he laid his helm on top of your own. As seekers, you were both fairly tall, though, you were just about a head shorter than the masculine one next to you. Fortunate for him, unfortunate for your short self.

"Let me guess, Scream'. You want me to go down there with you?"

"I knew your processor would lock in sooner rather than later!" He smiled.

"And, what happens if, I don't know- a member of the guard sees us snooping around? You know that Sentinel and the High Guard aren't exactly friends, and most definitely not close to frenemies."

"That's the thing. I have spoken with Shockwave, and he has a device that shall last for, around a third of a cycle. Are you in or out, my dearest Y/N?"

"Is that even a question?"

═══════════════ ⋆★⋆

💫 Your optics went online as you groaned, pain covering the back of your helm as you looked around. You reached up and felt the back of your helmet, and once you felt the liquid, you froze in fear. You remembered what happened now.

💫 It was when those four bots were brought to your base. A blue and red one, a grey one with a Megatronus Prime sticker on his shoulder, another with a yellow-colored frame, and the only feminine one, whom was colored pink with some white here and there.

💫 They, well, the red and blue one at least, proposed that they were on the same side as you. They wanted to reveal Sentinel Prime as the traitor to Cybertron that he was. And honestly? You thought it was a pretty good deal. Starscream on the other hand? His own beliefs clouded his judgement of the four.

💫 When the grey one, whom the blue and red one called D, tried to walk out of the base to locate Cybertron's leader to punish himself, Starscream obviously was taking a hit to his own ego. Shocker.

💫 As he was chocked to the point that his voice-box was beginning to be crushed, making what was once a smooth and slightly-raspy voice begin to go from pitch to pitch with a highly artificial tang being added on top of it all. You had been able to slightly alter it, bringing the pitches down slightly, but fixing it fully was beyond anyone's abilities.

💫 While your memories came back, a dark figure stepped inside with golden-Cybertronians following suite. You looked up towards the helms of these people and scoffed. You recognized the tallest one. It was Airachnid. The heap of scrap that was somehow still alive well without any scratches. How disappointing.

"Get her up. I'm sure he's going to be very pleased to see his favorite old friend here." She said, grazing underneath your chin with one of her elongated insect-legs.

"Good to see you as well, Airachnid." You said.

💫 Airachnid rolled her optics and began walking away, a guard at both sides of you as you followed. Unwilling was one word to describe the entire journey through the tower's halls. Until you found Starscream and got the others out to safety, you needed to keep these fearful thoughts of yours out of sight and out of mind.

💫 Sentinel looked at a statue and glared, those Primes that tried holding the planet back from compromise. He did the right thing. Of course he did, how could his judgement be bad?

💫 The Prime looked over his shoulder and cocked a brow, wondering why Airachnid was bringing in some random seeker. So, in his true, straight-forward nature, asked the insect-themed Cybertronian about this.

"I'm sure you'll love to find out who this is."

"Yeah, yeah. Get to the point."

💫 The mask that covered most of your helm released pressure as it was unlocked by a guard. You grimaced as light hit you all of a sudden, seriously, a warning would be amazing sometimes.

"It can't be. Y/N?"

"...Y/N?"

💫 Sentinel's optics were wide as he stepped up to look closely at you. It just couldn't be you. There was no way in the name of the 13 Primes that you were alive and standing right before him.

"I almost forgot just how beautiful you were. Though, you looked better on the ground, kneeling before me." Sentinel smirked before allowing his hand to drift across your face, to your shoulder, and down to your sides. "Go ahead and undo her cuffs. I'm sure she won't claw me without orders."

"Are you sure, Sir?" A guard asked.

"Completely."

💫 Your brows furrowed as you glared at him. The clicks of your cuffs coming undone hit everyone's sound-receptors, and before anyone realized it, you had launched yourself at Sentinel, grabbing one of his wings and tugging on it to draw some sort of pain.

💫 Sentinel just glared and wrapped a servo around your neck, lifted you up in the air and chuckled darkly. Everyone, including the guards, shivered as he crushed your neck slowly and delicately, almost as if he was enjoying this pain he was drawing out of you.

"How did I know you were going to do that?"

💫 Crash.

"Y/N!" B-127 yelled.

💫 You yelped as your back made contact with the nearby wall. The pain that overtook your system was immediate, and it only worsened as a guard picked you up and threw you back at Sentinel to keep torturing.

💫 His servo wrapped around your neck once again, this time from behind as he held you flush against his front. Sentinel smirked and wrapped his opposite roam around your waist as you struggled to free yourself.

"You know, if you had just stayed by my side we could've been the perfect duo. Leading Cybertron into the future."

"Like hell I would've-" A gasp came out as his grasp on your vocal cords tightened.

"Had the most perfect model family unit. Two young sparklings filled with potential. Little Quartermaster and Artillery. Sounds just right, wouldn't you agree, lovely?"

"Get your servos off of her!" Starscream yelled.

"Oh?" Sentinel hummed. "I forgot just how dear you two held one another. Almost as if you were together for eons before I met you."

"We were, and still are! So, I will warn you one more time, Sentinel. Get your energon-stained servos off of my sparkmate!"

💫 Sentinel rolled his optics and latched another pair of cuffs on you, securing your violent impulses. He got near your sound-receptors once again and said quietly;

"To bad your love for that pitchy seeker kept that future out of my grasp."

💫 Starscream kneeled back down as you were thrown in front of him, dents in your frame as he looked you over. Fear was in his optics as he looked you over. And, as Sentinel moved onto D-16, Starscream paid attention to you, keeping the guards and Airachnid away from your frame. No more pain was going to come to you while he stood beside you.

💫 But, unknowingly to you both, that future was soon to be completely changed.

═══════════════ ⋆★⋆

"There is no way that Starscream yelled at Sentinel Prime!" Blitzwing said.

💫 You smiled at the bot holding two sparklings in his lap, acting like the older brother figure that he was for them as they've aged.

"Well, believe it or don't, I know for sure that he did." You said, turning around to look at the Second-in-Command of the Decepticons as he planned with Megatron the next move in the war.

"And I'm thankful every passing moment that he was there for me..."

[axelsagewrites]

Roy Kent*Charitiy

Pairing: Roy Kent x reader

Word count: 1535

Warnings: Rupert existing and Roy being Roy

Masterlist here

Ever since last year when Rupert crashed annual charity ball and donated a butt load of money to steal her thunder, she was determined to make this year's even better. It was odd to you that someone donating so much to a good cause was grounds for revenge but then again, you'd met Rupert. He really was the worst. 

She'd gone all out this year, making sure she lined up at least 3 famous performers that equally hated Rupert and inviting everyone who was anyone. You were automatically on the list as her assistant but and also as Roy's plus one. It was at last year’s ball that Roy ended up walking you home from and kissing you in your doorway. Cut to this year and you were now in a semi-secret committed relationship with Richmond’s newest coach. You had both decided not to share to the press and after much convincing Roy let you tell Rebecca and the team.

One of the nights biggest earners was of course the charity auction. Roy had refused at least 19 times to do it but eventually with enough eyelash batting and promises of favours you'd convinced him to sign up. All the boys had signed up, even Will was forced to sign up.

To make things even more bizarre Rebecca herself was being auctioned. Though you as her assistant had also hired someone to come bid on her so she'd never have to have the date but still she was technically on the roster. What you hadn't expected was for her to turn to you with puppy dog eyes. 

"We need more women on the list. Cmon, you know how it is. Think of the children,"

Roy was more outrage you had said yes than the fact he had been convinced to do it as well. You however were sure that it would be fine. After all people were there to bet on the footballers to play a game with their kid or show off to their friends or whatever other questionable activities they had planned. Not some assistant. 

What you hadn't accounted for was that you were no longer just an assistant. Not only did you often appear in pictures with the team, but rumours floated around that you were dating at least one if not multiple of the boys. Between always being around famous footballers or the fact Keeley Jones was your best friend you’d forgotten people actually knew who you were now.

The night was fine to begin and halfway through the auction Rebecca had already hit the same record as last year but that was not going to stop her. Danni had gone for £5000, Sam for £6000, Keeley for £10,000. Yes, even Keeley had donated one of her Friday nights to Rebecca's cause.

Roy had practically begged you that if the old lady who won him last year was going to win that you steal the win and he'd give you the money so sure as fate you had just won a night with your boyfriend for £8000. This was only going to fuel the fires in the tabloids, but it was worth saving Roy another painful night with a toothless granny.

"Up next we have my dear, dear friend who many of you will recognise as the teams shadow. Come on up"(y/n)," Rebecca said, clapping as you walked up with an awkward smile.

" Can we start the bidding at £500?" You thought this would be over and done with in less than a couple minutes.

"Five thousand pounds," Ruperts voice came booming from the back of the room followed by the sound of Roy’s chair scrapping against the floor as he stood up, "Forgive me for being so late my dear Rebecca. A family emergency kept me away, but I couldn't miss this for the world," he said gesturing to the crowd who gave him a round of applause he didn’t deserve, “After all it is for the children,”

For once Rebecca stammered for words before finally stuttering out "Yes well thank you Rupert. Do I hear six?"

"Ten thousand," Roy boomed across the room. Small gasps left several tables as you stood, eyes bulging out at the moment happening. You’d got to witness the bidding war that went for Jamie last year with Keeley spending twenty-five grand, but you knew that both Rupert and Roy were far more stubborn. this could go for a while.

"This isn't how auctions exactly work boys-" Rebecca tried to cut in, knowing how stubborn Rupert was and how violent Roy could get, but to no avail. she looked at you with a sympathetic glance as the carnage began.

"fifteen thousand," Rupert said, walking to stand by Roy's table, his wife a few paces behind standing awkwardly. 

"twenty,"

"thirty,"

"thirty-five-" you heard Jamie's voice pipe up followed by a loud growl from Roy who was glaring daggers in the previously laughing boy, "withdrawn!" Jamie yelped as he shuffled his chair towards Keeley. you almost felt bad for Jamie as you tried not to laugh.

"forty-five," Roy yelled before turning to Rupert, whispering something in his ear as he went to say fifty.

You could practically see Ruperts sweat dripping down his forehead as Roy pulled away, a satisfied smirk on his face, "Hard to beat that," Rupert smiled as he carefully stepped away from Roy, slowly moving back to his wife, “I withdraw,” Rupert said before pulling his wife to go join some random table filled with old white men.

"Forty-five going once, twice," Rebecca said as she scrambled to grab her gavel, "sold to Mr Kent. What a generous donation, everyone let's give him a round of applause," Rebecca said as she started the claps as everyone followed suit to try mask the awkward tension. “Always such a generous soul,”

You gave Rebecca a sorry smile as you walked back down to Roy, wondering how you’d explain this to the tabloids, but Roy had other plans. As you walked up to him, ready to quietly thank him, Roy stepped forward, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into his chest. The kiss was brief, but it knocked the wind out your lungs and left you wishing you had a private room as whoops and hollers came from the room around. You pulled back, breathless and grinning like an idiot. 

"Just to be clear that isn't included in the final sale," Rebecca said from the stand, trying to avoid lawsuits and trying desperately not to laugh since the auction still had its final prize left, Jamie.

"What did you say to him?" you asked, as you finally say back down, hand in hand with Roy. 

"I told him I knew where he lived and enough people to hold him down if he didn't back off what's mine, “Roy said as cool as a cucumber as if he didn't just threaten to beat a multi-millionaire, possibly billionaire at this point. "Plus, I said I'd tell his wife about you know who," 

This however caught your, Keeley’s, and Jamie's attention, "Who's you know who?" Keeley ask as you all three leaned in for the dirt. 

"Fuck knows," Roy barked making you all look at each other confused, "once a scumbag always a scumbag. There's probably some poor girl out there he’s fucked I just don't know which one," 

The three of you began to cackle as Rebecca announced her last prize of the night. “Time to shine,” Jamie said as he got up, running a hand through his hair before jogging up to join Rebecca on stage. His cocky joy went from pale faced terror when the woman who won Roy last year won him this year but for £9000. Jamie returned to the table, no pep in his step or swagger in his walk as he sunk down into his chair, “Why did you save me?�� he whispered in betrayal.

“I’m not your girlfriend anymore, remember,” Keeley teased as she sat back in her chair, “Call us even for last year babes,”

Jamie turned from Keeley to you and Roy, looking like a kicked puppy, “Roy?”

“Mate I’ve just spent 50 grand tonight. go fuck yourself,” Roy said before what was left of his drink.

“It’s for children Roy,” Jamie said as he sulked back into his chair.

“Fuck the children,” Roy said with no hesitation, “I’ve just bought them a really fucking nice orphanage to stop some old prick touching my bird,”

you couldn’t help but laugh at how Jamie pouted in his seat, trying to avoid the old woman’s little waves. “You do release your little stunt means we need to do press now?” you said, glancing up to a now groaning Roy.

“Already on its babes,” Keeley said from where she sat on her phone, “I’ve been waiting for this for months. knew you two wouldn’t go for my soft launch option,”

“Fucks a soft launch?” Roy said, confusing racking his face as he turned to you.

you patted his arm and shook your head, “You just let me and Keels deal with this yeah?”

Roy sighed as he sat back in his chair shaking his head, “I fucking hate charity,”

[kckt88]

Scorched Hearts XV

Summary:

'We loved with a love that was more than love - Edgar Allen Poe'

In the aftermath of Valaena's recovery, Aemond struggles to deal with his guilt.

Warning(s): Angst, Drama, Language, Uncle/Niece Incest, Kissing, Guilt, Reluctance, Mental Anguish, Aegon Being A Menace, Arguing, Confessions, Smut, Referenced Sex.

AEMOND x O.C Niece

Word Count: 5000

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated, do not copy/post to other sights without my permission.

Tag List - @jasminecosmic99 @kaelatargaryen @yesterdayfeelings-blog @immyowndefender @0eessirk8 @darylandbethfanforever9 @killua2dot0 @msassenach @xcharlottemikaelsonx @moonnicole

Aemond stood in the shadowed corner of his chambers, his gaze fixed on Valaena as she lay resting on the bed.

Rhaenyra sat beside her daughter, their hands clasped together, murmuring soft words that Aemond couldn’t quite make out.

On the opposite side, Daemon hovered, his usual air of detachment softening as he studied his stepdaughter, his relief barely hidden in his guarded expression.

But Aemond’s patience was fraying. He wanted them gone, all of them.

Valaena was his wife, the mother of his children, the woman he had almost lost.

He understood that her family would come rushing to her side upon learning she’d woken from the coma, but he resented their presence all the same.

They crowded around her, taking up the space and attention he desperately wanted for himself.

Each moment they spent at her bedside only deepened the ache in his chest, the ache to be close to her, to breathe in her scent and feel her warmth against him as if to reassure himself that she was really here.

He needed her. He needed to hold her without an audience, without Rhaenyra and Daemon hovering protectively, and without her bastard brothers who had previously descended upon her like dogs.

Every inch of him was screaming for them to leave so that he could wrap her in his arms and feel her breathing, feel her fingers running through his hair like she used to.

He needed to know she was real, that she had returned to him, whole and alive.

Aemond’s hands twitched restlessly at his sides, his jaw clenched tight. He told himself to wait a few moments longer, to let them have their time with her.

He tried to be respectful, patient—but he felt like he was about to shatter from the weight of restraint.

Finally, he cleared his throat, unable to keep silent any longer.

His voice was calm but firm as he spoke. “Rhaenyra,” he said, his tone steady but leaving little room for argument. “I-I know you’ve missed her. We all have. But-she needs her rest.”

Rhaenyra clutched her daughter’s tightly, as though afraid to let go even now.

Her eyes were damp, her fingers gently brushing over Valaena’s pale cheek, as if grounding herself in the reality that her daughter was here—alive, and awake.

She hesitated, her grip tightening, reluctant to let even a moment slip by without Valaena in her grasp.

But Daemon, standing nearby, sensed the moment’s weight and Aemond’s silent plea from across the room.

He understood the intensity of that need, the desperation to hold the one he’d nearly lost.

For the briefest of seconds, Daemon imagined what it would be like, never seeing Rhaenyra again, hearing her voice or feeling her presence close to him and the mere thought nearly destroyed him.

Softly, he placed a steadying hand on Rhaenyra’s shoulder, pulling her gently from the edge of the bed.

"Let him be with her now," Daemon said quietly, his voice a rare blend of gentleness and understanding.

Rhaenyra’s gaze darted to Daemon, reluctant but recognizing the truth in his words.

She glanced back at Aemond, taking in the quiet, raw longing in his gaze, the way he hovered on the brink of breaking.

She knew he’d kept a vigil by Valaena’s bedside, that he had barely left her side in weeks, clinging to the slimmest hope that Valaena would come back to him.

Daemon met Aemond’s eye, offering him a solemn nod—a gesture of solidarity, of understanding, even of respect for the torment Aemond had endured.

Aemond returned the nod, a slight but grateful tilt of his head, wordlessly conveying his thanks.

Rhaenyra pressed one last kiss to Valaena’s forehead, her hand lingering on her daughter’s for just a heartbeat longer before she pulled away, her own shoulders tense with the weight of emotion.

Then, with Daemon’s arm around her, she allowed him to guide her out.

As soon as the door clicked shut behind Rhaenyra and Daemon, Valaena turned her head to look at Aemond, her violet eyes warm and understanding.

She could see the strain in his face, the exhaustion, the fear that still lingered in his gaze despite her being here with him now.

Gently, she patted the bed beside her and whispered, “Come here my love. Let me hold you.”

Aemond barely needed a moment’s invitation. He quickly pulled off his tunic, breeches and eyepatch, his fingers trembling, as if afraid that even the smallest delay would shatter this fragile moment.

He slowly climbed into the bed, his naked body curling against her, his head resting just over her heart, where he could feel the steady, rhythmic beat.

Valaena’s hand slid up to his hair, and pulled the leather tie from it, allowing the long silver strands to cascade over his shoulders like a wave, and she then began to stroke his hair softly

Aemond let out a shaky breath, his eye closing as he absorbed the warmth and familiarity of her touch.

His hands clutched at the fabric of her shift, his fingers twisting the material.

A tear slipped down his cheek, and he made no effort to hide it. He clung to her, his face pressing against her, drawing in her scent, grounding himself in the reality of her presence.

"Would you like me to take this off?" she asked softly, her hand pausing in his hair.

Aemond nodded slowly, and she carefully untied the laces of her shift and shimmied the cotton material off her shoulders and let it pool at her waist, exposing her breasts to him.

He moved back to her instantly, his face nestled between her breasts, feeling the warmth of her soft bare skin against his face.

Valaena resumed stroking his hair, her fingers weaving through the silken strands, a gentle rhythm meant to soothe him.

“I’m here, my love, I’m here-” she murmured, her voice a comforting whisper above him.

Aemond let out a sigh, his shoulders finally relaxing as he allowed himself to sink fully into her embrace.

She was here. And he would never let her go again.

In the weeks that followed Valaena’s awakening, Aemond clung to her like a lifeline, a shadow that moved with her every step, bound by an unspoken fear that if he looked away, even for a moment, she would vanish.

He rarely left her side, his touch possessive and watchful, as though her recovery were as fragile as the first moments after a terrible storm.

No one else was permitted near her except for their children, Lirri and Arro.

Maester Gerardys’ visits, however, that were met with Aemond’s unrelenting wrath.

The mere sight of the Maester—who had once spoken of helping Valaena to ‘pass peacefully’—brought venom to his words.

Each visit was a storm of thinly veiled resentment, his voice low and scathing as he responded to the maester’s every inquiry with cold, biting replies.

The memory of Gerardys’ suggestion haunted him, his fury a fierce shield against his own guilt, which gnawed at him silently.

He couldn’t forgive himself for almost acting on his own moment of despair, haunted by that terrible night when he had held a pillow over her, only to recoil in horror.

It was his guilt, festering and raw like rot, that spurred his bitterness toward Gerardys.

He resented the Maester not only for what he had suggested but also because the Maester’s presence made Aemond confront his own weakness and desperation.

Rhaenyra, too, became a target of his unpredictable anger. Her involvement in the sweet sleep discussions felt like a betrayal, a whispered plot against Valaena's life.

He would look at her now with a glint of accusation, quick to lash out with a bitterness that he knew, deep down, was misdirected.

But that realization did little to stem his fury. He became volatile, his emotions frayed, a mix of relief, anger, and fear that twisted within him, barely contained.

Night after night, he lay awake, watching Valaena as she slept, his gaze fixed on the gentle rise and fall of her chest.

Each breath she took was a reminder that she was here, alive, not a spectre conjured by his desperate longing.

His fingers would lightly trace her arm, her face, needing to feel the warmth of her skin against his own. His eye, ringed with exhaustion, barely closed, his own sleep fractured and shallow.

Sometimes he would reach out to touch her face in the darkness, brushing his fingers across her cheek, his breath catching each time, fearing she might fade before his eyes.

He watched her like a man condemned, as if her life depended on his vigil.

And in those sleepless hours, he found himself murmuring to her, words that drifted between promises and pleas.

“I’ll protect you, my love. I’ll always be here. I won’t let anyone take you from me.”

Aemond stood at the edge of the gardens, his gaze fixed on Valaena as she sat among their children, sunlight filtering through the leaves and casting soft patterns over her face.

Lirri laughed beside her, holding Aemon in her lap, and Aemond’s lips turned up ever so slightly as he watched his family, feeling a fragile kind of peace he hadn’t felt in weeks.

Yet, the feeling was fleeting, chased away by the dread that never quite left him.

Just then, Helaena appeared at his side, her presence as quiet as a soft breeze. Her eyes, distant yet strangely focused, were fixed on him.

“All the crickets are singing again,” she said in her usual soft, lilting tone.

Aemond looked at her, brow furrowing as he considered her words. “Will they always sing?” he asked, a hint of desperation underlying his question.

Helaena’s gaze softened as she reached out, her slender fingers resting gently on his arm. “Yes, they will,” she replied.

“Good” muttered Aemond, his posture rigid, his arms folded behind his back.

But a shadow of sorrow suddenly crossed Healena’s face as she added, “Yet there is a shadow following you, brother. And if you’re not careful, it will consume you.”

Aemond stiffened, his jaw setting tightly as he turned back to the garden. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied tersely, unwilling to let her words pierce the wall he had built around his mind.

But Helaena only watched him, her eyes bearing a wisdom that unsettled him. “It will fester inside you,” she said softly, her voice almost a whisper, “writhe in your blood like maggots until it bursts forth, and then you will know nothing but silence.”

Aemond’s fists clenched at his sides, her words gnawing at him. He wanted to dismiss her, to shake off her warning, but the weight of her words seemed to burrow deeper, touching something he had buried. “What can I do?” he asked finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Unburden yourself,” Helaena said, her gaze gentle and sad. “And the shadow will fade.”

With that, she turned and drifted away, her figure disappearing down the garden path, leaving Aemond alone with her words echoing in his mind.

He stood there, watching Valaena and their children, feeling both the ache of his love for them and the fear that had been eating away at him.

He knew Helaena was right—he could feel that shadow growing, twisting inside him, but he didn’t know how to face it.

He didn’t know if he could.

Aemond stood in their shared chambers, the quiet broken only by the soft rustling of fabric as he ran a damp rag over his face.

Dressed only in his loose, partially unlaced breeches that were hanging low on his hips, he felt a strange, restless tension. Just then, a knock sounded at the door.

He strode over, swinging it open to find Luke standing there.

Aemond's eye narrowed. “And what is it that you want, my lord Strong?” His tone was cold, disdain unmistakable in his words.

Luke met his stare, undeterred. “I was wondering if Valaena–”

“No,” Aemond cut him off sharply. “She’s busy.”

“But I–” Luke began, only to be cut off again.

“Are you deaf, bastard? I said no.” The words were laced with a sneer, a finality meant to end the conversation.

Luke’s face flushed, but he stood his ground. “She’s, my sister.”

Aemond curled his lip. “She’s, my wife.” And with that, he slammed the door in Luke’s face.

From behind him, Valaena emerged from their bathing chambers, wrapped in a soft towel, her damp hair framing her face.

“Who was that?” she asked, amused by the irritation on Aemond's face.

“No one,” he muttered dismissively.

Valaena’s smile softened as she approached him, her voice warm with affection. “You can’t keep me locked up forever, you know.”

Aemond’s lips curved slightly, though he made no attempt to deny it. “Why not?”

Laughing softly, she reached up and placed her hands on his bare chest, looking into his eye. “I know you wish to have me all to yourself,” she said.

“But you was in the gardens yesterday, with Lirri and the children.”

Valaena sighed, drawing him closer. “And you was there, watching our every move.”

 Aemond closed his eye, pressing his forehead to hers. “I just want you to be well.”

“I’m fine, Aemond. Truly” she whispered back, her hands brushing his jaw.

He stroked her cheek, his voice raw with unspoken fears. “I can’t lose you. I can’t.”

“You won’t,” Valaena promised, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

He wrapped his arms around her, their kiss deepening, her towel slipping unnoticed to the floor as he felt her warm skin against his.

A surge of desire flared through him, and he guided her back toward the bed. Valaena sank down, pulling him with her, his lips never leaving hers.

“I’m healed from birthing Aemon. I-I’m ready to have you again-” whispered Valaena.

Aemond groaned as he moved his lips down to her neck, pressing reverent kisses along her skin, his hand reaching to push down his breeches, so he could free his hard aching cock.

But suddenly, a number of dark thoughts cut through his desire like a knife, stopping him cold.

What if his seed took root?

There was moontea, but what if for whatever reason it didn’t work?

And she became with child again?

What if another child was too much for her?

What if the strain of carrying another babe weakened her, or worse—what if he lost her for good?

The memory of those harrowing weeks, of watching her slip between life and death, seized him with fear. His hands froze, and a hollow ache of terror filled his chest.

“Sorry—I-I can’t,” he stammered, his voice thick with emotion.

He moved away from her, pulling his breeches up and quickly throwing on a shirt and tunic, each action feeling desperate, almost frantic.

“A-Aemond?” Valaena’s voice was soft, laced with confusion, but he couldn't bring himself to look at her.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, keeping his gaze fixed away from her.

Without another word, he hurried from the room, leaving her sitting on the bed, bewildered and hurt at his rejection.

As Valaena roamed the corridors, she almost collided with Aegon, who gave her a quick once-over with an amused smirk.

“Looking for Aemond?” he asked. “He’s gone flying with Vhagar.”

“Oh,” she sighed, shoulders slumping in disappointment.

“Yeah, nearly knocked me down in his haste-” Aegon huffed, one eyebrow raised. “Only lost one eye, surely he’s not that fucking blind.”

Valaena managed a small smile at his jest, but it was tinged with sadness.

Aegon noticed and tilted his head, his humour softening. “What’s wrong?”

She sighed, reluctant. “Like you’d really want to listen to my problems.”

Aegon snorted, folding his arms. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t mean it.”

Valaena hesitated, starting and stopping, words catching in her throat. “I just-I-”

“Oh, for gods’ sake. Come to my chambers. We’ll have a drink,” Aegon interrupted, waving his hand in a gesture of invitation.

Valaena raised her brow, chuckling. “Aemond would love that.”

“Well, Aemond’s not here, is he?” Aegon countered, grinning. “Besides, you need a break. Just one drink.”

After a moment’s thought, she shrugged, “True enough. Just one though-”

Aegon’s laughter boomed down the hallway. “Oh, come on, you’re no fun. I’ve got real Arbor Gold stashed—none of that piss swill the Queen drinks.”

Valaena laughed and followed him into his chambers, grimacing as she took in the mess.

His bed was covered with rumpled sheets, and some strange wooden objects littered the bedside table.

She reached out, curious, but Aegon held up a hand. “Ah-ah. I wouldn’t do that.”

“And why not?” she asked.

“Well, I might’ve used that with my favourite lady last night,” he replied with a shrug.

Valaena made a face and recoiled. “You have a favourite lady?”

He nodded, giving her a mischievous look. “I was once a man of many tastes. But recently, I thought, why not have just the one favourite lady-”

“-You mean my mother won’t let you have any more coin from the treasury to pay for your indulgences?”

Aegon folded his arms, conceding. “You got that right, the tight fisted bitch. It’s not like I was causing any trouble.”

“Just dishonouring your wife,” Valaena teased, watching his expression carefully.

Aegon’s smirk faded, and he shook his head. “Hel’s my sister. I love her, but not as a wife. I’ve tried-but-”

“It’s okay,” Valaena murmured, cutting him off.

She could see the strain of expectation in his gaze and let the conversation drift.

Aegon knelt, rummaging under his bed, and came back up with a bottle, proudly presenting it.

“Told you I had it. Finest Arbor Gold, last of my stash-” He poured a cup for her and one for himself, raising it high. “-You might be the Queen, but up yours Rhaenyra you tight fisted bitch”

Valaena cut him off with a sharp look. “That’s my mother you’re insulting.”

Aegon just shrugged, unbothered. “I’m entitled to be annoyed. Taking away my coin like that. Who does she think she is?”

Valaena smirked as she took a sip of wine. “The Queen.”

Aegon wrinkled his nose, muttering, “Yeah, the bitch Queen of basta—” He stopped himself as Valaena shot him a glare.

Silence settled between them as they sipped their wine, but then Aegon eventually broke it, glancing sideways at her. “So, what’s my twat of a brother done now?”

Valaena sighed, laughing a little despite herself. “What makes you think he’s done something?”

Aegon rolled his eyes. “Well, he’s spent the last few weeks clinging to you like a leech, and now he’s pissed off on that mouldy rock he calls a dragon, and you’re wandering around here like a ghost. By that logic, he’s clearly done something.”

“It’s-it’s not what he’s done,” she admitted, the words slipping out reluctantly. “It’s what he hasn’t done.”

“Alright, what?” Aegon asked, prodding with a smirk, but his tone was curious, genuinely interested.

“Well-” Valaena hesitated, glancing down at her cup. “-I’ve healed since birthing Aemon, and things were-progressing between us. But then he just stopped saying that he couldn’t, and he left.”

Aegon choked on his wine, laughing. “You’re telling me my brother couldn’t-get it up? Oh, man I can’t wait til he gets back-”

“It wasn’t that-” she shot back, half-laughing, half-defensive. “He was-ready. He just freaked out.”

Aegon raised an eyebrow, thoroughly entertained. “You didn’t have a bogey on your face, did you? Happened to me once with a woman I took to bed. So gross-”

“Aegon, no,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “I did not have a fucking bogey on my face”

“Look, my brother might have the most punchable face in Westeros, but he loves you-” Aegon replied, a little more seriously. “-If he freaked out, there must’ve been a reason.”

She nodded, frowning. “Maybe. I just-I don’t know. He was really into it, and then-”

Aegon shrugged, taking another long sip. “-I wish I could give you a rundown of the inner workings of my little brothers twisted mind, but I can't, all I can say is, just be patient. He’ll come around. Or ignore him for a while. He’ll come crawling back soon enough.”

Valaena laughed softly. “And that’s what passes for advice?”

He smirked, holding up his cup. “I promised to listen, didn’t I? besides I’m far too sober to giving you any pearls of wisdom. But-you know what you’re actually not that bad, you know.”

Valaena clinked her cup against his, smiling. “Neither are you.”

In the quiet of the nursery, Valaena rocked little Aemon in her arms, singing softly, her voice warm and low.

"Drakari pykiros, Tīkummo jemiros, Yn lantyz bartossa, Saelot vāedis. Perzyro udrȳssi, Ezīmptos laehossi, Hārossa letagon, Aōt vāedan. Hae mērot gierūli, Se hāros bartossi, Prūmȳsa sōvīli, Gevī dāerī." (Fire breather, winged leader, but two heads, to a third sing. With words of flame, with clear eyes, to bind the three, to you I sing. As one we gather, and with three heads, we shall fly as we were destined, beautifully, freely).

As she finished, she kissed Aemon’s forehead and laid him gently in his cot, covering him with the blanket Helaena had so carefully sewn for him.

She turned and saw Aemond leaning in the doorway, watching her.

“Beautiful,” he said, his voice soft, almost reverent.

Valaena didn’t answer but moved to her vanity, beginning to undo the braids.

She kept her gaze on the looking glass, watching Aemond’s reflection as he stepped forward.

His hand moved to hers, stilling her fingers, and he murmured, “Let me.”

Valaena nodded silently, letting her hands fall to her lap as he took over, slowly unfastening the ties and clips holding her hair in place.

 One by one, the braids unravelled under his touch, her long, dark hair cascading over her shoulders and down her back.

Aemond’s hands lingered, skimming over her shoulders and moving to her breasts, his fingers grazing the curve of her breasts before teasing the stiffened peak of her nipple of the fabric of her dress.

Valaena closed her eyes, a soft sigh escaping her, feeling the intimacy of his touch.

But then, he pulled away.

She opened her eyes, watching him in the looking glass as he moved to undress, his expression unreadable.

She turned back to Aemon’s cot, checking on him once more, before slipping out of her gown and pulling on a clean shift.

Valaena could feel Aemond’s eye on her, watching as she prepared for bed, but he said nothing, and she, too, stayed silent.

She slipped beneath the covers, waiting, feeling the silence between them stretching long and tense.

After a sigh, Aemond joined her, lying on his back with his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

Usually, he would reach for her, pulling her close, his arms around her as they lay together.

Tonight, though, he stayed away, the empty space between them feeling colder, wider—like an unspoken chasm.

Valaena’s heart twisted, and she took a steadying breath, finally voicing what had been weighing on her mind.

“Have I done something wrong?”

Aemond remained silent, his jaw tight, his gaze unmoving. The silence between them grew heavy, filling the room with a sense of absence, a painful gap she couldn’t understand.

She watched him for a moment longer, her own confusion and hurt swirling within her, and then she turned onto her side, closing her eyes against the ache in her chest her heart quietly breaking against the silence.

The past weeks had been a trial of silence and distance, growing heavier and colder with each night. Valaena had watched, hurt and bewildered, as Aemond withdrew further and further, the once-intimate bond between them dwindling into something fragile and unfamiliar.

He watched her with a fierce protectiveness during the day, but he wouldn’t touch her—wouldn’t even kiss her.

Each night, he turned to his side, laying as far from her as the bed allowed, leaving her feeling like an untouchable ghost beside him.

She had tried to reach out, to draw him back, asking him what was wrong, why he was avoiding her.

But each time, he brushed her off, tight-lipped and tense, refusing to speak.

Confused, her mind spun with questions and self-doubt, but he only grew more distant, more haunted.

What she didn’t know was that Aemond’s silence came not from a lack of desire but from a torment that consumed him, his fears and guilt clashing painfully with his longing for her.

And one night, things finally boiled over.

Valaena was struggling to undo the laces of her dress, the ties at the back too intricate to reach. Aemond, watching her from across the room, came forward.

“Let me,” he offered, his voice low and tense.

She nodded, and as his hands loosened the bindings, her dress slipped from her shoulders, pooling at her feet.

He let his fingers trail along her bare skin, his hand brushing over the curve of her back, and Valaena shuddered under his touch, a quiet sigh escaping her lips.

His self-control crumbled. He pressed his face to the hollow of her neck, kissing her skin, his desire finally breaking through the walls he had so desperately tried to build.

His hands gripped her firmly, and he spun her around, capturing her lips in a fierce, almost desperate kiss.

Aemond pushed her backward until she fell onto the bed, pulling him down with her, his own clothes coming off in a flurry of hurried, frantic movements.

His touch was rough, and the ache of longing finally had its outlet, his need a raw, consuming force that surged with each heartbeat.

He took his cock in hand and sheathed himself inside her in a single thrust, his eye rolling into the back of head from the sheer bliss of it.

“A-Aemond-” moaned Valaena, as he begin pounding into her in a series of deep penetrating thrusts.

Gods, he wasn’t going to last.

But then, in the heat of their passion, a dark shadow crept into his mind.

He saw her pale, gaunt face from the weeks she’d laid in a coma, saw the blood that had stained the sheets after Aemon’s birth, felt the cold, terrible weight of the pillow he had once held over her, contemplating doing the unthinkable.

The fear seized him, ripping through him like a dagger, and with a strangled cry, he pulled away.

“No!” he choked, his voice breaking as he reeled backward, breathing heavily. Valaena’s face was flushed, her lips parted in confusion as she gathered the sheet around herself.

“W-What’s wrong?” asked Valaena as she tried to reach for him, her eyes wide with hurt and bewilderment,

But Aemond stepped back, snapping, “Don’t.”

The word struck her, and she recoiled, her eyes brimming with tears. "Why won’t you lay with me? Is it-do you not love me anymore?"

Aemond’s face crumpled, and he grasped her face in his hands, his voice soft but raw. “Of course I love you. It’s-it’s not that.”

She tried to kiss him, to close the aching space between them, but he turned his face away, his hand trembling as he began to hastily pull on his clothes.

Desperate and hurt, Valaena whispered, “Are you seeing someone else? Is that why you won’t take me?”

Aemond’s head snapped up, his voice sharp. “No! I do not have a mistress. How dare you accuse me of such a thing.”

“What else am I supposed to think?” Valaena cried. “You won’t kiss me or touch me. You won’t even look at me like you used to-”

Aemond clenched his jaw, running a hand through his hair. “Maybe I just don’t feel like it.”

The words wounded her, and her voice broke. “I-I know my body has changed since I gave birth. I know I don’t look the same but-but-”

Hearing her doubt herself, thinking she was somehow the cause, shattered him, he loved her mothers body, the lines on her stomach proof of the healthy babes she had birthed him and her large breasts that he loved to nuzzle against.

Aemond shook his head, appalled at how his silence had poisoned her confidence. “It’s not that,” he whispered, horrified.

“Then what is it?” she demanded, her voice rising, hurt giving way to frustration. “You won’t even look at me! If it’s not another woman, then what?”

Aemond closed his eye, breathing heavily. “I can’t-I can’t bear the thought of my seed taking root again, of putting you through that. Do you have any idea how terrified I am at the thought of losing you?”

Her expression softened, and she stepped toward him. “Aemond,” she said gently, “There are ways to prevent your seed from taking root. You know this.”

“What if it doesn’t work? What if you forget? I won’t risk it. I won’t risk you. I can’t live without you-I can’t. I won’t-”

She swallowed, her voice trembling as she looked up at him, her own pain and frustration flashing across her face. “So, your answer is to push me away? To let me think that it’s my fault?”

Aemond’s voice cracked, his gaze desperate and pained. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Then help me too understand,” Valaena pleaded. “I need to know. Please, Aemond. Don’t shut me out-”

He backed away, his face pale, his hands clenching and unclenching as his shame and fear reached their breaking point.

Finally, he looked at her, his voice a raw whisper.

“I-I tried to kill you.”

The words fell into the room like a stone, each one a confession of pain that had haunted him every night since her recovery.

TBC

[kanencrow]

Comfort Under the Moonlight - Jackie Taylor | One Shot

Summary: A week after the crash that forced an indefinite stay within the Canadian Rockies, you wake up from a bad dream, and Jackie finds herself intuitively waking up to trail after you.

Warnings: Swearing, Slight Jeff Slander, Implied JackieShauna x Reader, Technically Injured!Reader (you have an abdominal wound that is described at some parts in this).

A/N: All characters are 18+ by default. This is another scrapped piece of writing from an old story I wanted to make. It kind of shares the same beginning as 'The Devil's Lettuce' because this one is rewritten to involve Jackie and Shauna, rather than Natalie. The entire piece is definitely not the same though, but there is still that level of tension between you and Jackie that was present in my other one shot.

Word Count: 5000+

Your eyes shot open, as a sharp gasp escaped your lips.

Immediately, your brain felt like a puddle of disorganized thoughts and memories as you pressed a hand to the floor to brace yourself, using it as a form of grounding for your panicked mind, while your wide, tired eyes stared towards the stone material of the fireplace. You could feel a pair of limbs wrapped around your waist from behind, and with the way you felt as though you had been coiled in a snake's death grip, you could detect that it was Shauna.

The reminder that she was there – that you were back within the reality you knew, helped you relax slightly, even if your heart still slammed powerfully against your ribcage, as though it wanted out. You breathed quietly, your clear anxiety noticeable to anyone who was awake, but it was obvious that you were the only conscious soul in the room. The brunette continued to mutely snore against the back of your neck, always a heavy sleeper, and although you wanted to settle back into a state of calm and warmth and sleep like your body craved, you couldn't.

The moon illuminated certain parts of the vicinity, you noticed, and that deduction only proved that your brain had decided to wake you up at the ungodliest of hours. You wanted to groan and scream your frustration because you loved your rest, but you lacked the energy entirely. Just like how your body lacked the enthusiasm to sleep. While everyone slumbered peacefully – as peacefully as they could while they slept on the floor of the main area of the cabin, you were wide awake and still attempting to calm down from the staggering nightmare you had.

It was about the cabins' attic, and dread filled your stomach the moment your mind redirected its focus onto the memory of what Taissa had found up there, almost a week ago. The owner of the building you and the rest of the people that survived the crash now lived in, had killed himself with a rifle that seemed no worse for wear.

Granted, you gained a weapon and an almost endless supply of ammunition to protect yourselves from any predator that may have lurked in the forest that surrounded the cabin, but the memory of taking his skeletal remains down from the attic and out of the building plagued your mind like a virus, which caused a bitter taste to coat your tongue.

You couldn't help but swallow the disgusting flavor the moment you sensed it, and shortly after, you felt yourself start to feel claustrophobic with where you were, surrounded by others – held by one – who were ignorant to your current predicament. Of course, it wasn't anything you faulted them for, but you didn't want to be around a place that did nothing but provide you with uncertainty and a lack of serenity.

With a quiet clearing of your throat, you silently pushed yourself up from where you laid beneath the grasp of Shauna. You were careful in the way you pried her arms off of you, and you almost winced when she grazed the wound on your torso throughout her state of unconsciousness and clinginess. Nonetheless, you managed to sneak away from her physical affection, and with a slowness that made you seem like you were stuck in slow-motion, you walked towards the entrance of the cabin, socked feet padding against the hardwood softly.

It didn't take long before you slipped on your unlaced boots that sat beside it, and the moment you tied them, you rose to your full height and opened the entryway, as you glanced back to stare towards your two best friends that you left behind, who were clearly none the wiser to your escape.

Jackie had her face pressed against the back of Shauna's neck, clutching her gently like a teddy bear, just like how she always did whenever the three of you had sleepovers, and the brunette's arms were stretched out in front of her, clearly not having roused from your movement. The sight managed to soothe your mind, and when the memory popped up into your head, but it wasn't a feeling that lingered. Not when the nagging reminder that you all were trapped in the forest swooped through your brain like a slicing knife.

For a split second, you wanted to lay back down and fall into their shared warmth, but your body and brain had become restless, and the last thing you desired was to bother them with your constant squirming while you attempted to force sleep onto yourself.  Still, you admired the two for a moment longer, before you eventually breathed in and turned around, as you sluggishly slipped out of the cabin.

The door eventually shut with a quiet click behind you, and you were immediately thankful that you slept with a hoodie on, when a particular chill ran up your spine, due to the wind that wafted against your face and brushed through the short strands of your hair. It didn't take you long before you threw your hood up over your head and shoved your hands into the frontal pouch of the sweatshirt, as you trailed down the porch steps and traversed across the open space of the yard. You immediately directed your route to the nearby lake, and you couldn't help but glance up to stare at the moon, which tried to hide behind the trees that loomed over you.

The walk there wasn't as long as you expected it to be. With your shoulders hunched up to try and provide yourself with more warmth, you breathed out a deep exhale and watched as it turned into visible air in front of you, due to the nightly chill that the spring weather brought about. You were thankful it wasn't cold enough to where you would freeze to death down by the shoreline of the lake, but it definitely didn't provide you with that warming comfort the sheltered interior of the cabin brought you.

But you needed to leave there, just for a short while, while you collected your thoughts and calmed down from the nightmare you had. Now, it felt like a blur to you, when you tried to recollect what happened, and it only made you somewhat frustrated, as you mindlessly scaled down the steep hill that led to the large body of water up ahead.

You couldn't hear much, other than the occasional sound of the rippling tide that washed up onto the shoreline. It acted as your form of white noise, while you walked over to the familiar dried-out log you had found solace in the first time you came to the lake. However, instead of sitting on the rocky ground, you sat on the wood, and the moment you lowered yourself down onto it, you let out a heavy exhale, as your tired eyes mindlessly roamed around to stare at nothing in particular.

The moon was out on full display, now that trees didn't cover it from illuminating the environment you resided in. Owls cooed in the distance, and you heard an occasional rustling reverberating from the forest that sat far behind you.

While your hands sat snugly in the pouch of your sweatshirt, the hood that hung over your head fell down to pool behind you when a particularly heavy gust of wind hit against your face. You shivered at the feeling, but you didn't make an effort to resituate what had fallen, as you breathed in deeply, before you exhaled and allowed the quiet atmosphere to calm all the woes that attempted to plague your mind like poison.

Your slowly healing torso and burns were no longer your worry, not anymore, now that a week and a half had passed, which did the job in getting rid of most of the pain that enjoyed lingering around the entirety of your abdomen. Of course, the actual injury still remained, but it was already starting to heal around the edges, which only signified that it was going to go away sooner, rather than later.

It was mainly the thoughts of what your life was like, now, that seemed to suffocate you.

But, unfortunately, you weren't able to dwell on them, when you heard a voice.

"Y/n? What the hell are you doing out here?"

The curious but otherwise disgruntled tone of Jackie's groggy voice filled your ears, and your shoulders flinched in response, as your body twisted around to try and find where she was, even if the sudden jolt of pain that shot up your abdomen was the indicator that your brain disliked your decision. You couldn't begin to care in the first place, though, and it didn't take long before stood up to your full height and settled your eyes onto her form, while she walked down the expanse of the shore and towards the log, which caused the rocks to move under her shoes.

She wore the same striped rugby shirt you had seen her in the first time you and her shared silent glances at the lake, but the rest of her appearance was entirely different, which didn't at all signify that she had planned to wake up in the middle of the night and speak to you. Her grey sweatpants hung on her hips loosely, and the dark blue shirt she wore peeked out from underneath the hem of her long-sleeve, which only managed to show off her unkempt nature.

You weren't any better, however. Sporting the same pastel lavender hoodie you wore – your mother's hoodie, as well as a pair of loose red plaid pajamas that encouraged a gentle remark of 'we're matching' from Shauna when she first saw you wearing them. They were bunched up due to your boots, and it only made your entire appearance make you look as though you had just rolled out of bed and decided to go on a leisurely walk, which wasn't actually a lie.

It was clear that your movement had – somehow – managed to stir Jackie awake, even if she hadn't been the one whose arms you pried yourself out of, and you felt a hint of guilt melt inside your chest. "H-Hey, Jax." Your voice cracked the moment you uttered the greeting, sending her a strained smile. Of course, it didn't lessen her suspicion of you, when she lulled her head to the side and slumped her shoulders, as if she didn't buy your facade of normalcy at all whatsoever.

Even with the distance between the two of you, it wasn't difficult to detect the slightly grumpy but concerned glint that shined beneath her hazel eyes. Her arms were crossed over her chest, with her hip popped out slightly, giving you the characteristic Taylor stance she would always portray whenever she was on the verge of scolding someone. A part of you realized that you didn't deserve the attitude, though at the same time, you knew that she was someone who liked to know where you – or even Shauna – were at, at all times. And you had a constant habit of wandering off without a word, which always managed to get on her nerves the most out of her and the brunette, who was more than likely still slumbering peacefully beside the fireplace.

"What're you doing out here?"

When Jackie asked the question, you shrugged your shoulders, as if you yourself weren't sure as to why you were at the lake of all places. She moved her legs again to walk towards where you stood beside the log with a laziness in her step, trying not to break an ankle in the process, and it only gave you more time to come up with a response of some sort. "I... had a bad dream." Your eyes followed her form, all the while, watching her in a way that made it seem as though you were nervous of her reaction.

But she remained silent, and it didn't take long before she rounded around the dried-out tree trunk and stopped to idle in front of you, which forced you to turn towards her, as an expression of sudden worry shifted onto her features. She stared at you mutely, like she was waiting for you to say something else, to explain yourself in one way or another, but all you could do was weakly raise your hands up in defeat and turn your head away from her to mindlessly stare towards the water, reflecting the illumination of the moonlight beautifully. "I don't know. I guess that dead cabin guy being, well... dead..." you trailed off and parted your lips to exhale softly, "guess it kinda got to me."

With the way you despondently stared out towards nothing, you didn't notice the way Jackie's eyes shifted down in thought, as if she was mulling over the words you had uttered. "Oh," she hushed, her voice coming off as more of a raspy coo than anything else, and when you heard the simple word slip from her lips, you couldn't help but shift your gaze back towards her again. Your interest in her only seemed to increase, when she stepped forward and pulled your cold hands out from the pouch of your hoodie by grasping your wrists.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" You glanced down at the way her fingers trailed down and coiled around your palms, frigid skin against a slightly less chilled pairing of flesh, but even then, you felt a bloom of warmth flutter throughout your chest in turn, as the pads of her thumbs rubbed along your knuckles in a delicate manner that made you feel solace, "I could've helped," she told you gently, "and we'd be in the comfort of a warm cabin, but... I digress," she quickly muttered out, her lips barely moving as she said that, which only warranted amusement to escape you in the form of a huff.

"Needed to take a walk," you explained simply, clarifying yourself, even if you knew that you didn't need to. "I didn't really want to be in there, either." You squeezed her hands with a firmness that grabbed her attention, when she suddenly blinked back into reality and sent you a small smile, as if to say, 'I'm listening, and I understand.' Even then, you could only smirk softly at her, the corner of your lip curving up, and your silent response earned a tightened grip on your palms. "It's been getting kinda stuffy in there, and I just..." you shrugged your shoulders and glanced back towards the water, "I wanted an escape from it for a bit. Have some time alone with my thoughts, or whatever."

"Would you like some company, then?" Jackie questioned.

You immediately nodded your head, before you turned your eyes back to meet her own. "Yeah, I'd like that," you hummed out, "if you don't mind staying out here for a while," you added on, quietly, as your fingers reassuringly squeezed her hands. "I know it's kinda cold." You yourself weren't a fan of the cold, but the thought of heading back towards your place of refuge filled your chest with a feeling of dread. You would have loved, more than anything, to stay inside a warm safe haven and hash out your emotions and thoughts with one of your best friends whom you often didn't get to have those conversations with, but that wasn't what your brain was in search of.

Nor was your heart.

And Jackie seemed to catch on to the internal struggle, when she moved closer to you and fell flush against your chest, as she guided your hands to wrap around her back. "I don't mind," she mumbled, all the while, and you found yourself swallowing a lump that had suddenly formed in your throat, while you hesitantly coiled your arms around her waist. You felt her own do the same to your torso shortly after, and she inevitably settled her head against your shoulder and stared up at you thoughtfully.

"This makes the cold a little more bearable," she added, eventually. Her breath, hot and so close, wafted against the skin of your neck, and you had to hold yourself back from pulling away from her in turn. It was almost instinctual to simply shy away from any form of physical touch from her. She was your friend, granted, but you didn't – you couldn't – see her that way, which did nothing but make things more... awkward.

The same could have been said for Shauna, too.

There was no denying that you loved both of them, in a way that you probably shouldn't have, but at least with the brunette, the two of you had already delved deep into a relationship that definitely surpassed the boundaries of friendship. With Jackie? She was dating a guy that you didn't like, and she probably only preferred men to begin with, so it wasn't as though you stood a chance. However, even with all of that information, it didn't take away your ability to care about her.

You always would.

You promised – to yourself, mainly – that you would always be there for her. If Jeff cheated on her again, or they got into a petty argument, or her parents got on her case about something entirely trivial... you would always be on her side, and you would be the first to talk shit, even if Shauna lightly scolded you for your crude comments under the facade that she herself disagreed with your opinions. It was why you never took her seriously when she would tell you off, because you knew that she felt the same exact way.

You wondered if she also had a crush on Jackie.

With the way you had seen Shauna look at her, it made it pretty apparent that she did.

Which only complicated things more.

"Is this... okay?"

You were startled out of your thoughts by the voice of Jackie again. Your eyes immediately widened in response to the sound, and as you blinked, your focus fell down onto the awaiting gaze of the soccer captain, who had leaned back to stare at you with a look of subtle concern on her features. She almost looked... insecure, too. It was a sight you didn't often see on her, and when you would, it only ever had to do with what she was wearing, or with Jeff and regarding something that he had told her. Something backhanded. Noticing it on her face, and realizing that it was directed towards you only seemed to make your heart jump to your throat, and before you could truly ask yourself if it was okay that she was hugging you for longer than you were used to, you spoke up and nodded your head casually. "Yeah, of course it's okay."

Was it?

There was a beat of silence after your words, which were mumbled out with a quickness that would have made anyone turn their head and raise an eyebrow. Jackie could only stare at you with a look of thought on her features, eyes flickering across your own for longer than you were used to, before she eventually smiled at you, small and soft, and lowered her head back down to rest it against your shoulder, speaking out of view, while her breath fanned across the skin of your neck, again.

"Okay, good." Her arms tightened around you again, squeezing you with a security that made you feel warmer than you had already become, just from her touching you, and she was swift to continue on shortly after, as a soft sigh slipped past her lips, and she nestled her cheek into the soft fabric of your hoodie. "Remember when we were at that campfire the night the plane crashed?" she suddenly asked, her voice raspy and gentle as it hit your ear.

Your eyebrows flinched down as a reaction, even if her speaking brought comfort to you. Confusion couldn't help but fester within your brain and chest, and you found yourself breathing in while you stared off towards nothing, only seeing darkness behind the line of trees that separated the shoreline the two of you stood on from the surrounding ones. "I do, yeah," you replied softly, your own voice containing a hint of huskiness to it, due to the lack of use your vocal cords had gotten. "Why?"

"I didn't save Van," Jackie uttered, as she leaned more of her body weight into you, "it's why they made that comment about the whole Corn Nuts thing." She squeezed you tighter, fingers curling into the fabric of your hoodie, as if she wanted you to melt into her. All you could do was hug her back and lightly scratch the length of her spine with the dullness of your nails. "I mean, I-I tried to help them, because they were, like... stuck in their seat, but there was a fire and... and Shauna..." she trailed off suddenly, her words stopping as though she had been punched in the chest.

You could only continue to mindlessly rub her back, and when you moved your hand up to play with the baby hairs that her messy pony-tail showcased at the nape of her neck, she continued, after a moment. "She wanted to save Van, but I... I didn't want to lose her, all because she wanted to play the hero."

You weren't aware of what had transpired throughout the time that you were unconscious, and hearing that Van could have died because of the fact that Jackie wanted to keep Shauna safe only made you feel conflicted. Even if you were mainly on her side, you still cared about that comedic redhead, and the thought of something terrible happening to them made you feel nauseous.

"You were... just looking out for Shaun," you hummed out softly, still pondering, "that's not a good reason for you to be faulted. But I can see why Van wasn't entirely thrilled when you prevented Shauna from saving them," you added on, which made her sigh in response. It was one that carried weight to it, like she reluctantly – guiltily – agreed with you, and instead of pointing it out, you could only continue, while your head turned slightly to stare towards the water, mindlessly watching as the waves creeped up onto the shoreline. "Did you try apologizing to them?"

Jackie stayed silent for a moment, before she huffed and replied. "No."

Her response reminded you of a child who had been called out for stealing a cookie, and was in the process of confessing their thievery. You felt a wave of amusement hit your chest in turn, which forced a soft chuckle to bubble up from the depths of your chest. "Well, maybe you should think about doing that then, Jax," you mumbled out. Your tone held no malice behind it when you lightly chided her, but it was clear that she didn't appreciate your honesty either way, when she lifted her head from your shoulder and leaned back slightly, just to meet her hazel eyes with your own.

"You don't think I've tried?" Jackie asked, though you knew the question was entirely rhetorical, when she shook her head and softly scoffed, glancing away from you to stare towards the middle of your chest, "Every time I've tried to talk to them, they've shut me down and walked away," she admitted, "so, it's easier said than done to just apologize about leaving them to die, and moving on." She shrugged her shoulders, as if that was all she had left in her bag of defense, and when she fluttered her eyes away from yours to stare towards the illuminated water that the moon's light hit, you pursed your lips and sluggishly pulled away from her.

Your arms dropped to your sides, and instead of gaining a retort of annoyance from Jackie at your movement, she simply turned her head to watch you silently instead. "Give it time," you eventually mumbled. You didn't know what else to say, other than that, but it wasn't like it mattered, when you received a subtle smile from your best friend in turn while she watched as you shuffled back and lowered yourself down to sit on the dried-out log.

You were quick to clutch your side, all the while, the action creating nothing but discomfort to your stitched up, barely healing wound, and the moment your free hand pressed against the smooth bark of the makeshift seat, the dirty-blonde stepped forward slightly, which caused the rocks to crack together beneath her shoes. "I'm sure Van'll forgive you eventually," you added on with a strained voice, "maybe do things to butter them up."

"That's what you do to me whenever I'm upset with you," Jackie uttered endearingly, as she stepped over to the log and settled down beside you shortly after. The moment she did, her shoulder pressed against your own, and you unconsciously leaned into her, while your eyes stared out towards the lake. "I doubt that's gonna work with Van," she admitted, "especially with Taissa around."

You almost perked up at the clear implication behind her words – that she knew about the couple's relationship and how it pushed past the boundaries of platonic nature. Your expression couldn't help but light up, even in your attempt to hide your shock towards her observation, and she seemed to recognize your attitude when she glanced over at you and let out a laugh. "Yeah, I know they're together," she stated, "it's pretty obvious."

For some reason, your heart leapt to your throat as though it wanted out again. Maybe you shouldn't have been surprised, but you were, anyway. A part of you wondered if she had any inkling about you. Were my own feelings as apparent as they felt? You could have very well been overthinking it. With the lack of sleep and the borderline delirium you experienced, it would have made sense.

Either way, you tried your hardest to shrug it off as though her comment wasn't something that clashed with your own personal thoughts, and she seemed to buy it, when she looked at you earnestly, lacking the telltale sign that she was suspicious of your own reaction. "Yeah, I mean... yeah." You chuckled awkwardly, the words tumbling out of your mouth like water, "It's pretty clear that they're, y'know... together." You paused, and it gave Jackie a moment to quietly giggle at your sudden sheepishness, and all you could do in response was falter, as your eyebrows furrowed to showcase sudden curiosity. "That doesn't, like... weird you out?"

"What," Jackie replied, "those two being together?" She tilted her head at you, as if she was genuinely curious about your question and what you were intending to mean. You could only nod, as your lips parted, faltering and clueless on how to verbally respond, which only encouraged her to continue, when her hazel eyes flickered down your face, and her expression softened into a look of warmth and gentleness.

"I think it's... sweet," she hummed out, "I'm almost kinda envious of what they have, honestly." Her gaze flickered up to meet yours again, and she chuckled stiffly, "Jeff is... Jeff," she stated simply, "and although I love him, I just... it feels like there's something missing between me and him. But I don't know what it is."

Maybe all you need to do is find a replacement.

"You already know how I feel about him," you mumbled.

Your simple statement earned a soft laugh from Jackie in turn, "Yeah," she muttered, "I know." She lightly nudged your shoulder, which made your body jostle slightly, before you fell back into position, and she lulled her head down to rest her temple against it. "I was actually thinking of breaking up with him after Nationals, if you can believe it," she admitted softly. Your eyes immediately widened at that. You were thankful she didn't see you, though you were certain she would have rolled her eyes with playful intention if she did.

You almost felt excited in response to that tidbit of information, and when you were too stuck in your state of astonishment, she continued, as her arms wrapped around your elbow and she hugged it, "I know what I said in the car, just a few days before that party," she started, "y'know... about staying with him through college and everything, but... I gave it a lot of thought after, and... I don't know." She shrugged, "I think you and Shauna made me realize that I deserve better."

"You think?" you repeated softly, your tone almost teasing, as your eyes shifted away from the water to stare down at Jackie's face. Her head rested against your shoulder, and when she felt you shift, her own gaze lifted to meet yours, which allowed you to see the shy smile that formed on her face in response to your question.

"Okay, okay," she relented, "I know you and Shauna made me realize that I deserve better." 

"I'll throw a celebration when that day comes," you muttered softly, before you turned your head away from her to stare up towards the moon, admiring the way it smiled down at the two of you, as if you and Jackie were the only ones on earth.

Jackie hummed, though the sound held a somewhat melancholic tone to it. "If it comes."

"It will, Jax," you responded gently, even if you yourself weren't entirely sure whether or not your words were going to come to fruition. Someone had to withhold some form of optimism when others couldn't, and it was clear that you took on that role, with the way Jackie had fallen into a pulsating state of highs and lows that had been going on ever since the plane crashed in the first place.

She huffed quietly from beside you, and when her fingers mindlessly intertwined with yours, her palm pressing flush against yours, you raised your arm and planted a firm kiss to her sun-kissed knuckles. "We'll get through this, one way or another," you mumbled against her skin, before pulling away and allowing your connected limbs to fall against your leg, "I promise."

Your best friend nestled herself closer to you, and when she let out a soft exhale from where her head rested against your shoulder, she spoke up. "I hope you're right."

You hoped you were right, too.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Garden of Secrets [30] - Lunaria

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback and support my loves, it made my whole week, you’re amazing!❤ I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤

Thanks so much to @theskytraveler​ for helping me with the chapter!

Summary: After arguments comes sincerity.

Warnings: Regency era society and social rules, some gender specific language and terms, mentions of trauma and violence, angst.

Word Count: 5000

Series Masterlist

 Any married couple would tell you that fights were normal in a marriage.

You knew that, but this whole silence was beginning to feel more and more like the end of the said marriage.

You and Benedict hadn’t talked to each other since the night of the dinner party at Lady Margery’s house, and you and Benedict were getting quite good at sharing the house without even talking about it. You wouldn’t have known he was actually staying in the house if you hadn’t paid attention to the occasional sounds of door closing and the footsteps.

You didn’t know when you had learned to recognize him from his footsteps alone, but apparently it had happened somewhere along the line.

You knew Benedict had left an hour ago because you had seen him pass through the garden from the window of the library. You had been so immersed in your book that you didn’t even notice the familiar carriage pulling in front of the house until you heard Teddy’s voice ringing through the hallway.

“Y/N?”

You turned your head and put your book down, then rushed out of the library to go downstairs.

“Teddy?” you asked as he ran to you, clutching a couple of flowers in his arms and you let out a laugh, then hugged him.

“Hello there,” you said and smiled at your aunt as you saw her at the end of the hallway. “And hello auntie.”

“Hello my dearest,” she said, coming to kiss your cheek. “We figured we could pay you a quick visit on our way to the pastry shop.”

“I’m glad you did,” you said and took the flowers from Teddy. “These are beautiful Teddy, thank you!”

“They’re from your garden,” he said helpfully and you nodded your head.

“Mm hm, I recognized them,” you said and held his hand so that you all could go to the drawing room. “Pastry shop then?”

“Yes and then we will go to the park,” your aunt said. “So that I can meet my friends and Teddy can play with his friends.”

“The weather is pretty nice,” you mused and turned to your maid. “Paula, could you bring some lemonade and biscuits please? Thank you.”

“Of course ma’am,” she said and left the room, and you hugged Teddy sideways as he sat beside you.

“How is uncle?” you asked your aunt and she heaved a sigh.

“He is alright.”

“Any um…” you trailed off and stole a look at Teddy before clearing your throat. “Any letters?”

“None,” she said with a smile. “I told you, there’s no need to be worried.”

“Seems to be engraved in me by now.”

A maid walked in, carrying a tray and made her way to you to place three glasses of lemonade as well as three plates of biscuits on the coffee table. You thanked her as Teddy grabbed his glass, then took a huge sip.

“Is Benedict home?” he looked up at you and you heaved a sigh, then shook your head.

“No my sweet, he left an hour ago.”

“When can I make more sculptures?” he asked and you tried to smile.

“Whenever you want,” you said. “Is it alright if I help you though?”

“Not Benedict?” he asked, his brows furrowing slightly. “But he knows so much about art.”

You nodded your head.

“Benedict has been working on a new painting lately,” you whispered as if giving him a secret. “He’s a bit busy but we can do it together?”

He thought for a moment, then his head whipped up.

“I could teach you!” he said as if the thought just hit him and you let out a laugh.

“Exactly!” you said, “It would be fun!”

“Benedict is working on a new painting?” your aunt asked and you looked up at her, then nodded your head.

“Yeah,” you said. “He’s been…he’s been busy.”

She raised her brows, her eyes searching your face as if she wanted to see whether you were telling the truth but the gong of the clock on the wall made her turn her head.

“Oh I’m going to be late,” she said and got up from her chair with you following her suit. “We’d better go, come on Teddy.”

“Alright,” Teddy pushed the biscuit into his mouth, making you bite down a smile and he came to hug you.

“I’ll see you later,” you said, pressing a kiss on top of his head before you hugged your aunt. She hugged you back, then pulled back to look at you better.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

Your stomach did a painful flip but you managed to offer her a small smile.

“Of course,” you assured her. “I’m fine.”

She heaved a sigh and kissed your cheek.

“We’re having tea as soon as possible.”

“Works for me,” you said and watched her and Teddy walk out of the drawing room to make their way downstairs. Your smile dropped and you let out a breath, then sat back down on the sofa again.

“Great,” you muttered to yourself. “Today should be fun.”

                                                                      *

 Towards the afternoon, Lottie had sent you a note, asking you to join her for a picnic but you had written back, saying you weren’t feeling your best. It wasn’t a lie at all, you really didn’t want to see anyone, instead all you wanted was just burying yourself into the covers and ignore the outside world.

But apparently you wouldn’t be so lucky.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice the approaching footsteps while you laid on the sofa, your gaze fixed on the fireplace until someone cleared their throat by the door, making your head whip up.

“Josie?” you asked and pushed yourself up off the sofa to stand up. “What are you doing here?”

“Came to see how you were, obviously,” she said and entered the drawing room. “Not well as I can tell.”

You rolled your eyes. “Did auntie talk to you?”

“No, why?” she asked. “Should she have?”

“No, it’s just—” you motioned vaguely at outside. “She came by for a visit today with Teddy.”

“And?”

“And nothing,” you said. “She seemed worried about me for some reason.”

“Could the reason be that you were staring into nothing like a corpse by any chance?” she asked you and you shot her a look.

“I was just in deep thought, don’t dramatize it.”

She frowned slightly, then shook her head.

“Anyway,” she said and went to the armchair to sit down. “Has there been any other letters sent from hell and its biggest demon?”

“Auntie says no,” you muttered, pressing your palms into your eyes before lowering your hands. “But I don’t know. I’ll have to talk to uncle to make sure.”

Josie hummed.

“What about you?” you asked. “How have you been?”

“I’m fine,” she said without so much as any hesitation and you tilted your head.

“Josie.”

“What?”

“Come on,” you said. “Don’t do that to me at the very least.”

“I really am fine,” she said. “I’m married now, he cannot do anything to me. The days he would threaten to either sell me to a brothel or send me to the madhouse are gone.”

A shiver ran down your spine. “But if they speak to anyone—”

“Andrew is a respected lord who inherited his respectful father’s title and wealth,” she said. “Father is a no one. There’s nothing he could say that the ton would believe over our word.”

You started pacing in the room.

“I suppose,” you said. “But even if they do come here, we’re not telling Teddy.”

Josie shook her head fervently. “Of course not. He will not know or talk to them.”

You could feel the tension coming back to your muscles as the throbbing in your wrist returned, and you rubbed at it, gritting your teeth.

“Why doesn’t he just die?” you spat. “He was coughing like crazy when uncle took me and Teddy in years ago, he spends most of his days drunk, why doesn’t it just get to him already?”

“Trust me, I’m looking forward to that day,” Josie said. “I’ll celebrate it.”

“If he so much as tries to get Teddy like he said in that letter—”

“He’s not going to do that,” Josie said. “None of us will let him.”

You massaged your temples and huffed out a breath.

“What did Benedict say?” she asked you and you turned to look at her, then pursed your lips.

“That’s not important right now.”

Josie sat up straighter.

“What?” she asked. “Wait Y/N you have told him, haven’t you?”

“No because I don’t need to,” you said. “I can handle it if they come here.”

Josie gawked at you in complete silence, then a dry laughter spilled from her lips.

“You’re jesting,” she said. “Surely you are jesting.”

“Why would I tell him?”

“Why would you not tell him?” she hissed at you, jumping on her feet. “What are you going to do if father decides to come here? And the staff hasn’t been told—”

“I’ll tell them.”

“And if he walks up to Benedict on the street?”

“I doubt father even knows I’m married,” you said. “There’s no reason for Benedict to—”

“There’s every reason for him to know!” she said. “If you don’t want to give him the details, fine! But you need to tell him especially if they decide to come here, you know what father is like—”

“I can handle father.”

Josie threw her hands up in exasperation. “Have you gone insane?!”

“I don’t need Benedict’s help,” you said tersely, shrugging your shoulders and Josie heaved an impatient sigh.

“If you’re doing this because you two had a small lover’s spat…”

You narrowed your eyes at her. “Josie.”

“You had a fight, is that it?”

“That’s not important.”

“It is important if you’re going to make stupid choices because of it!” she snapped. “If it were any other time, you know I wouldn’t push you to do anything but if mother and father are in fact coming here, you’re going to need all the support you can get.”

You scoffed. “Sure, let me just go and cry to Benedict because what? Father is coming here?”

Josie raised her brows. “How’s your wrist?”

The anger rushed through you so fast that you didn’t even have the chance to remind yourself it wasn’t Josie you were angry at, just the memory itself and how it managed to make you feel helpless every single time.

Not to mention, your and Josie’s fights would always be fiery, ever since you two were little.

“Fuck you, I’m not going to listen to this,” you growled and Josie’s gaze turned into a glare as you walked past her toward the door.

“No?” she asked, making you whirl around on your heels before you got to the door. “If you don’t want people to ask you questions, maybe don’t act like a little girl throwing a tantrum.”

“I’m not!”

“By keeping the one person who you’re actually close to in the dark?” she snapped back. “The one person who can actually protect you as far as the ton and the law are concerned? For God’s sake, you’re married—”

“It’s a sham, Josie!” the words left your lips before you had the chance to stop them. “Wake up, will you? It’s a sham, it’s not real! None of this is!”

That got her to stop talking and if you weren’t so exhausted by the nervousness and anger rushing through you for days now, you would have stopped talking as well but you were nearly hysterical at this point.

“We’re not in love,” you said, breathing fast. “The only reason why we got married is because people saw us together, alright? He knows it, I know it, even goddamn Anthony knows it! And everyone around us is so gullible that they believed we were in love because what? We pretended to be just to spare their feelings? Honestly Josie, I’d expect you of all people to be smarter than that—”

“What?”

The different voice that reached into the room came from behind you from the door and you turned around to see Lottie staring at you in shock. Your breath got caught in your throat and you swallowed thickly.

“Lottie…”

“Your butler let me in, I wanted to see if you were alright after your note but—I—” she stammered, tears rushing to her eyes. “You both…you all lied to me? All this time?”

“No,” you said quickly. “No it’s just complicated, I didn’t mean—”

“Excuse me,” she said and turned around to rush downstairs, a curse leaving your lips before you rushed after her.

“Lottie- Charlotte!” you called out as she stepped outside with you following her. “Please, can we just talk?”

“That rumor Lady Whistledown mentioned,” she said, turning to look at you better. “That was true?”

You ran a hand over your face. “It’s not exactly—”

“Y/N,” she insisted and you heaved a sigh.

“Things between me and Benedict are complicated.”

��But you didn’t get married because of love?” she asked. “You got married because someone saw you two together, unchaperoned?”

You paused for a moment and she raised her brows.

“Y/N?”

“…You could say that,” you admitted after a beat and shook your head. “I know how it sounds, but we didn’t want to upset you—”

“Thank you so much for that,” she said with a sad laugh and you pinched the bridge of your nose.

“Lottie…” you said, following her as she walked to her carriage. “I’m sorry, I really am. I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

She looked at you for a moment, then swallowed thickly.

“I’d say you didn’t want me to find out in any way,” she muttered and got in the carriage before you could say anything else, then the coachman drove away, leaving you there.

You groaned, that heaviness in your heart getting even worse as you watched her carriage disappear into the road and dug your fingernails into your palms before you looked up at the sky and let out a scream, the birds in the nearest tree flying away. You huffed out a breath, then turned around to see Josie leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed, and her brows raised.

“I’m glad you got it off your chest I guess,” she said. “Now, want to tell me what the fuck that was about?”

                                                                      *

It took you almost an hour to fill her in on the details of everything that had happened. Even if you still felt incredibly bad for how Lottie had found out, -and how you had kept it from Josie- it still felt sort of relieving to actually share it with someone. Josie sat beside you on the stairs that whole time and it was only when you had finished telling her everything that she heaved a deep sigh, leaning back on her elbows.

“Fuck.”

“Mm hm,” you said. “Sounds about right.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

You scoffed a laugh. “Look me in the eye and tell me you would have let me marry him if you knew why that wedding was happening.”

“Of course I wouldn’t have let you!” she said. “That’s exactly why you should have told me!”

“And then?” you asked. “You know how the ton would have been like.”

“Who cares about those idiots?”

“A scandal would have affected uncle and auntie as well, Josie.”

“Scandal or not, I think uncle and auntie would want you to be happy.”

“I am—it’s not…” you massaged your temples for what felt like the hundredth time today. “It’s complicated.”

“It really isn’t,” she said. “If he forced your hand—”

“He didn’t force my hand,” you cut her off. “No more than I forced his hand at least. I wanted to kiss him, he wanted to kiss me…It’s only because people saw us together that it got to this.”

“And you’re sure he didn’t plan this?”

“I know he didn’t,” you said. “Trust me, I’d love to be able to blame someone but Benedict is not to blame.”

“Neither are you.”

You clicked your tongue.

“I don’t know about that,” you said. “I could’ve walked away.”

“So could he,” she said and you heaved a sigh, then shrugged your shoulders.

“I don’t know,” you repeated, running a hand over your face. “God, it feels like I haven’t slept in years.”

Josie bit at her lip, deep in thought before she turned to you.

“Clover?”

“Hm?”

“Technically speaking, this marriage is invalid,” she said. “No consummation.”

“So?”

“Would he apply for an annulment?”

Your heart dropped to your stomach but you frowned, shaking your head.

“I don’t think so.”

“Would you?”

“I’m not going to apply for annulment,” you brushed her off and she sat up straighter.

“Then we could leave whenever you want, you can come with me and Andrew and Bess—”

“I’m not going to do that Josie,” you said and she scoffed a laugh.

“Why not?” she asked. “If you’re worried about a scandal…”

“That’s not why,” you told her. “Not really.”

“Does it have something to do with the fact that you kissed him?” she asked and you shot her a look.

“Don’t,” you said. “Seriously. It was just desire and I’m pretty sure anything he may have felt for me is long gone after that fight.”

“And yet you want to stay for some reason because you want to make yourself suffer?”

You heaved a sigh.

“No I—I’ll think about it,” you lied to her. “After this whole mess is over.”

“Alright,” she said and stood up. “I’d better go but are you going to be okay?”

“Sure thing,” you said, waving a hand in the air before standing up as well. She pulled you into a hug, then kissed your cheek.

“I’ll kill you if you hide things from me again,” she said, drawing a chuckle out of you before she walked to get in the carriage. You lingered there for a moment as the carriage drove away and you shook your head slightly, then walked back into the house.

                                                          *

You were still so tense that you couldn’t even bring yourself to have dinner even if you would be all by yourself. Benedict was still outside, so even though you knew there was no way you could get a wink of sleep, you still went to your bedroom. The sky was dark already, your room only illuminated by the moonlight and the flames in the fireplace. You took out the pins in your hair, then massaged your scalp and heaved a sigh before putting the flowers Teddy and your aunt had brought you on the windowsill so that you could air dry them, but as soon as you did, the carriage by the stone road caught your attention, making you frown.

Ah.

That had to be Benedict.

You had just placed all of the flowers when the knock on the door reached you and you looked over your shoulder.

“Come in?”

Benedict opened the door and stepped inside, and you frowned at just how rigid his whole body looked.

“Can we talk?”

“About?” you asked and he took a deep breath as if reminding himself to be calm.

“Did you do it on purpose?”

“You might want to—” you started but then the idea hit you, making you stop for a moment. “Ah. Lottie?”

“Yeah,” he said. “So did you?”

You gawked at him and scoffed a bitter chuckle. “Why would I do it on purpose, exactly?”

“Because you’re angry at me for some reason?”

You could feel the anger rushing through your system so you gritted your teeth.

“Contrary to what you seem to believe, I don’t go behind people’s backs when I’m angry at them.”

He raised his brows, disbelief etched in his features.

“Sure,” he said. “So it was what, a coincidence?”

“Well you seem to have all the answers,” you bit back. “I’m sure you can answer that on your own as well.”

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“Why would you tell Charlie that?” he insisted. “She’s angry at me and Anthony because apparently you decided to tell her he knew as well.”

“Oh well that’s devastating,” you deadpanned. “Because I spend all my days trying to make sure everything I do makes Anthony’s life easier—obviously I didn’t know she was here! She’s angry at me too, or has it escaped your notice?”

“Then how did she—”

“Because she was apparently there when I told Josie, but I didn’t know.”

Benedict stared at you. “Wait, Josie knows as well?”

“Lapse in judgement, we were having an argument,” you said and Benedict blinked a couple of times.

“Y/N, I thought we agreed we would keep it to ourselves,” he said. “We told everyone—”

“I have more to lose than you if it gets out, Benedict!” you snapped. “You don’t have to remind me what I already know!”

He took a deep breath as if reminding himself to be calm.

“We’re married,” he said, motioning between you two. “We need to be on the same page on things like these.”

“Oh now you remember we’re married?” you asked with a bitter laugh. “You can act like a bachelor and spend a whole night partying and doing God knows what without so much as letting me know—”

“I did let you know!”

Your voice rose before you had a chance to stop it; “Oh sorry, how nice of you to invite me to the party as a second thought!”

“I already told you nothing happened!”

“That’s not the point!” you snapped back, “The point is that you told me we would talk and we didn’t because you were too busy having fun at a party!”

Benedict shook his head. “You told me it wasn’t important!”

“Because you—” you started but your body automatically flinched back when Benedict’s hand shot up to run it through his hair, a gesture you had seen him do over and over again but in the heat of the argument, it was enough to make the rest of your sentence get lost in your throat.

Benedict’s hand froze in the air as the sudden panic rushed through your veins, the flash of various memories shooting through your head but even through the haze of absolute fear, in some corner of your mind you knew.

That was then, not now.

That was not going to happen again, not with him.

Benedict stared at you before he held up his palms, all the fire of the fight and anger gone from his gaze.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, his voice so gentle and soothing that your throat tightened. “I promise you.”

You blinked back the tears and nodded. “I know.”

“I would never—”

“Benedict, I know,” you cut him off and let out a bitter chuckle. “I believe in you on that at the very least, trust me. It just used to happen a lot whenever anyone moved too fast around me, it’s involuntary.”

Benedict swallowed thickly, his eyes searching your face before he very slowly lowered his hands as if trying not to make any sudden moves. The panic retrieved from your body like a wave at the shore and you heaved a sigh, then leaned back to the wall before slipping down to sit on the floor.

“I can leave you be if you’d like,” Benedict said softly. “Do you want me to go?”

You scoffed a dry laugh and patted the spot next to you. Benedict lingered there for a moment, then made his way to you to sit down on the floor beside you, leaning his back to the wall while you pulled your knees up to your chest, resting your chin on them.

“But you…” he paused for a moment. “You know I would never, right? Really?”

“Yeah,” you said. “I know. I don’t know how, but I know.”

“Okay.”

You stared at the moonlight spilling over both of you through the window before you ran a hand over your face.

“Benedict?”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to get an annulment?”

That made him turn to look at you better, his brows furrowing as you shrugged.

“Technically speaking, this marriage is invalid,” you quoted Josie. “We never consummated, so…We could get an annulment.”

He stared at you. “Do you want to get an annulment?”

“I asked first.”

If it were any other time, it would have made him smile at the very least but not this time.

“No,” he said. “But I won’t force you, I’ll never force you into anything so…Do you want one?”

You shook your head.

“No,” you admitted. “No I don’t.”

A silence fell upon you and he leaned his head back to rest it against the wall before stealing a look at you.

“So this is marriage huh?” he asked and you felt a sad smile curl your lips.

“Yeah,” you said. “A never-ending emotional torture.”

“Well you did warn me, so…” Benedict mused and you nodded your head.

“I really did,” you murmured, twisting your wedding ring around your finger. “Jesus I’m exhausted.”

A bitter chuckle climbed up his throat.

“I know the feeling,” he rasped out. “Can you um—can you sleep at night? Because I can’t.”

“Not at all,” you said. “And I can’t really focus on anything. Can you?”

“I need to,” he said. “I need to be focused on something all the time, otherwise…”

“What?” you asked after a beat and Benedict shook his head.

“It’ll catch up to me otherwise.”

He didn’t need to specify what it was, you knew it very well because it was the same thing that had been twisting your heart for the last two weeks.

The wave of pain that was so strong that if it managed to get to you, you weren’t sure you’d be able to stand.

“It’ll turn into hate one day,” you said, your voice determined as you nodded your head to yourself. “It will. It’s a marriage, it has to turn into resentment and one day we will wake up and we’ll hate each other.”

He tilted his head. “Do you really believe that?”

“I want to believe that,” you said. “I hope it does turn into hate, I’m better at it.”

“Dear God, it would be so much easier,” he murmured and you nodded.

“Exactly,” you croaked out as the burning in your eyes came back but you bit at your tongue, fixing your gaze on the wall.

“Can I ask you something?” Benedict asked and you glanced at him.

“Sure.”

“I’ve always wondered if you…” he trailed off. “Do you regret it? That night at the gazebo?”

“Do you?”

“I asked first,” he quoted you, a ghost of a smile appearing on his lips and you smiled back, then shook your head.

“No,” you said. “Do you?”

“Not a single second of it,” he stated and a nearly hysterical giggle escaped from your lips.

“You know, Lord Easton said something the other night,” you said and sniffled. “And I have a theory about this whole thing.”

“I’m listening.”

“Call it artist and muse, call it desire, whatever it is,” you said. “I’m beginning to think maybe it was fate.”

“You don’t believe in fate,” he said and you thought for a moment, then shook your head.

“Well, I don’t but think about it,” you said, wiping at your nose with the back of your hand, then turned sideways to see him better. “We kept tempting fate even if we knew we weren’t supposed to and—be completely honest with me, can you imagine yourself being married to someone else?”

He grimaced. “Not without a shudder and a nightmare to go with that idea.”

“Exactly,” you insisted. “Even after everything. So we’re—we’re not star-crossed, we’re not each other’s promised but maybe we’re something else completely different than all that.”

“Like what?”

“Maybe we’re just doomed to torment each other.”

He blinked a couple of times as if trying to wrap his mind around it and you sniffled again.

“Does it not make sense?” you asked, sitting up straighter, your eyes locked in his. “Neither of us regret that night even if it would make perfect sense if we did, both of us could walk away right now, a luxury no other couple in the ton has, and yet…”

“Yet here we are.”

“Yeah,” you muttered. “Yet here we are. Doomed to torment each other, in this life and beyond.”

He hummed. “That’s a relieving thought.”

You turned to shoot him a look of disbelief. “The idea of being tormented is relieving?”

“Compared to the idea of not having you?” he asked. “It is. I can take the torment from you, just not…just not your absence.”

A silence fell upon the room and you rubbed at your eyes, then dropped your hands to your lap.

“Well then I shall haunt you,” you managed to say. “Even after death, like in those awful stories. If we are to torment each other, we will not be free of each other. Dead or not, no absence.”

A sad smile crossed Benedict’s lips and he held up his pinky.

“Do you promise?” he asked and a teary laugh climbed up your throat, then you looked up at him.

“What?”

“Do you promise to haunt me?”

You blinked back the tears before they could blur your vision, then stuck your nose in the air.

“Do you promise to haunt me back?”

Benedict tilted his head. “Do you want me to?”

“I do,” you said without any hesitation and hooked your pinky with his. “Whoever goes first will haunt the other. Deal?”

There was no sign of hesitance in his eyes, only determination as he smiled slightly, making your heart skip a beat.

“Deal.”

Chapter 31

[erinwantstowrite]

How long does it take you to write a certain amount? If that makes sense…??? Like how many words if u were to guess do u write in an hour/session (depending on if u like have set aside time for writting)

i like to do a 30-5-30-5-30 method (i just call it 30-5) where I write for 30 minutes, take a break for 5 (or sometimes 10 minutes), and continue till i hit a word count that i want for the day. though sometimes i do 40-5-40. my average word count for a 40 minute session is like, 930-1000? i think? i try to limit myself to writing 2000 words a day so i'm not overdoing it (can stress myself out that way), but sometimes i get WAY in the zone and write 4000-5000

but word count doesn't hold a lot of stock in my eyes! it doesn't work this way for everyone nor does it work that way for me every writing session. some days i can only get 300 out of myself because motivation comes in waves. if anyone tries the 30-5 or the 40-5 method, make sure you know what YOUR limits are. my average word count is because i've been working on it for years and I know my own limits!

like, i know how many average words i can type a minute, but that's not what's being measured in the 30-5 method. i take into consideration how much time i need for processing. I need time to think, to review, etc. i don't stop my timer even when i have to pause and think about what i'm doing, because the timer is specifically there so i can take brain breaks. it's important to know your strengths, weaknesses, and the conditions you're working with so you don't overexert yourself

[hephanna]

hey!! do you have any idea of when you're going to update don't go sharing your devotions (lay all your love on me)?

I don't mean to rush you, I'm sorry to bother you with this but I'm going a little crazy with the waiting and I've kinda lost count of how many times I've read the first chapter by now hahaha

hope you're doing great!! thank you for your writing ❤

Thank you so much for your interest!! I have about 5000 words written so far for the final installment of don't go sharing your devotions (lay all your love on me) so I am hoping to get the last bit written & then edit it within the next couple of days! Thank you so much for your wait, as well, I've been meaning to get to updating, unfortunately I was away from my house for awhile, but now I'm getting back on track ^_^ Here is a little unedited snippet (so I apologize for any errors) of what's to come! (Some good old Charles & Rowland bonding - nothing like talking to yourself from an alternate dimension) SNIPPET:

And speaking of wandering hands and the Edwin in the other dimension… “Hey, isn’t your boyfriend gonna be a bit pissed when he finds out you’ve been snogging someone else in another universe?”

Rowland stared at him in bewilderment. “My boyfriend is Edwin, and I’ve been kissing Edwin. What’s there to be mad about?”

“Maybe because they aren’t the same Edwin?”

Rowland tilted his head. “So, if you met Edwin from another universe, you’d what? Treat him differently?”

Charles twitched, awkwardly drumming his fingers against his trousers, pulled firm over his trembling knees. Would he be able to treat someone who wore Edwin’s face like a stranger? Someone that had the same sharp arch to their eyebrows, the same bright glint in their green eyes, the same smirk when they said something clever? That didn’t settle right in Charles, as if he had swallowed a heavy lump of concrete. Of course, if Edwin, any version of Edwin, stood in front of him Charles would still treat him as his best mate. Would still defend him with everything he had, promise to protect him from the world. Edwin was Edwin was Edwin. And yet...

“That’s different," Charles said sharply, "I’d just be treating him like a best mate not like a… not like a-.”

“Like a lover?” Rowland interrupted. “Okay, that’s your choice. But Edwin is my lover. I love him. He is my beloved. That’s never going to change.”

Charles coughed. Fuck, Rowland was cheesy. He’d never heard himself sound so sappy before. But it was almost sweet, in a way. How obviously in love with Edwin this version of himself was. Lover - beloved - somehow the words expressed more sentiment than boyfriend could ever come close to.

It made Charles feel kind of shite about himself, if he was being honest. This was a Charles that was able to give Edwin everything he desired, who would have heard his confession in Hell – Charles, I’m in love with you – and been able to respond back with a deep kiss and his own whispered confession, instead of Charles’ desperate ‘we’ll sort it out later’ that he had uttered, although he had tried, in his own way, to reassure Edwin that he was the most important person in the world to him.

Still, a part of him couldn’t help but also feel bad for that other Edwin. He was actually shagging Rowland – Charles wasn’t shagging Edwin, and he was admittedly furious about Rowland putting the moves on him. Every version of Edwin Payne, no matter what, deserved the utmost devotion.

“He’s gonna be jealous though, ain’t he? I just think you should be treating him better,” Charles said, crossing his arms and glaring.

Shockingly, Rowland didn’t look at all offended. In fact, he tossed his head back and laughed, bright and happy. “You are me! You actually, literally are me.”

“Huh?”

Rowland let his head relax back against the couch, tilting his head to the side and grinning. “Charles Rowland Instincts 101 – defend Edwin Payne at all costs. You haven’t even met my Edwin yet, and you’re batting for him.”

[saintsbuffy]

You’re an angel, i’m a dog.

Pairing: Lucanis/Rook Lucanis/Rook/Spite

TW: injury detail, heavy sexual references, abuse, grief, suicidal idolisation, implied non con, spite being a freak, possession, substances.

Word count: around 5000

Chapter: 2/?

2 - DEVIL LIKE ME

— Rook is injured, Lucanis tries to help.

Lucanis - Bold

Spite - Italics

We've been waiting for this haven't we.

Spites familiar voice echos in Lucanis's head, the feral creatures nails claw his mind as the shadow figure takes form beside him.

Rook tentatively approaches as Lucanis glances around the room before pulling over a large crate for him to sit on and gesturing for Rook to take the armchair opposite him. Even though the crate is slightly too small for him and a few inches shorter than the chair it manages to hold his weight and leaves him eye level with her.

She's watching him and he moves the equipment to one side, careful to pick up any glass shards as he piles tubes and viles into a corner and stacks the books clearing the space between them. His face remains a mask of ease but she can't help but notice the small bead of sweat that forms at his brow. When was the last time he had hosted a girl in his room? He couldn't remember. Come to think of it, when was the last time Lucanis had hosted anyone in his room?

Lucanis shifts in his seat, crossing and uncrossing his arms. He had always been bad at making small talk but now he felt like he'd forgotten how to speak entirely. After a moment the silence is broken by a low humming noise, some variation of a song his grandmother would sing to him many years ago. The noise fades in and out but Rook dosent react, Lucanis is the only one who can hear it.

Quiet.

The girl is studying he realises. Head cocked to one side she watches how he moves and breathes, her guard his up, her discomfort increasing and yet she dosent make a move to leave.

"So..." Rook rests her arms on the oversized chair, one knee crossed other the other, fingers tapping on the edge. "Are you going to tell me how you did that thing out there." She raises her hand and seems to be trying to project her power but all he sees is empty air.

He had felt her magic approaching of course, the thrum of power had given him plenty of warning. The spell she had encountered had taken almost a decade to perfect, he had spent countless hours working on it with his Cousin. The barrier could be locked to one room and only lasted as long as the creator was present. It was supposed to keep out any magic users that didn't possess the Dellamorte bloodline. Clearly it was faulty if Rook had gotten through. He'd have to ask Illario about that when he next saw him.

"I am not entirely sure." Lucanis takes in the way her eyes waver, she doesn't seem annoyed that the spell had managed to stuff her magic but curious, perhaps slightly hopeful? "I do not use many spells, my specialities lie more in weapons and potions. My cousin helped with this one, you might have seen him around.”

She can see that from the display on his desk to the objects that fill his room and line the shelves, a few swords hanging on rusty nails that stick out of the stone.

"Ah, the handsome one." Rook recalls, as he shoots her an unamused look. "So could you, create a spell or a potion to stop it?"

"Why would you want to stop it?" He queries watching the way her hand goes to a chain around her neck, the small opaque crystal attached to it resting just between her breasts, Lucanis moves his eyes away quickly. His gaze goes back to her face then to the wall behind her as he avoids her eye contact.

He had seen the necklace before but had never gotten a good view of it, in fact he could not recall a time he seen her without it. No bigger than a marble, the edges jagged but dull enough to not cut into her skin. Whatever it was it meant something to her. Another piece of the puzzle.

"I mean, to help control it. Like the way your daggers seem to hold power, I can't have another mission go sideways because of me." A half truth.

He does not have to look her in the eyes to know that's not exactly what she meant.

"Perhaps you should ask Emmrich about that kind of stuff, maybe he could make you some sort of object to hone your energy."

In his time here Lucanis had seen the man do incredible things with his gifts, he had even come to him for help occasionally to identify any objects found whilst out on missions.

"I don't think that would work." Her lips pull into a grimace as she continues to fiddle with the silver chain. "And besides i'm not really sure how to feel about the old man, he frightens me a bit." Rook was both equal parts unsettled and intrigued by the man and his skeletal companion.

Lucanis raises an eyebrow but lets her talk.

"Don't tell him I said that though, you two are friends right?"

She recalls the few times she had watched Lucanis enjoying himself over dinner and drinks, in the library studying whatever it was he was searching for. Out of everyone here the two men seemed to click, both quiet and strange in their own way.

"I do not know him that well." Lucanis does not have friends. He is here to complete his contract and keep his home safe, that’s all.

Misunderstanding his blunt reply as sarcasm, Rook laughs. It's muffled by a hand over her mouth.

His chest tightens, wondering what it would sound like to hear a full true laugh from her. He wanted to find out. There was no question that Rook was attractive. Her elven features mixed the human way she spoke and carried herself made most people find her off putting. She tried to make herself invisible, had spent her first weeks at the Lighthouse brushing off everyone's attempts of inclusion but Lucanis had seen the way she made their companions laugh without even trying, the way her smile lit up a room. She didn't even have to try, he couldn't stand it.

Had the room always felt this small? Of course it had he was sleeping in a dammed storage closet for gods sake.

The desire that coiled low in his stomach was not as easy to ignore now as it was when he'd first laid eyes on her. All it takes is one moment of wanting and a mirror image of Lucanis draped in shadows manifests through the table. The creature contorts and twits its body, limbs cracking into place until it's crouched beside Rook. Lucanis closes his eyes reaching deep inside to sever that tie between man and demon but it's already started to knot. The door a-jar.

Lucanis grits his teeth as Spite inspects her, but the more he tries to shut him out the more the demon takes form. His discomfort and Rook's distraction only seems to make Spite more excited as it moves from side to side head twisting like a starved animal about to feast.

I can see why you're so fascinated by her. Such a pretty little thing.

Spites hand is less than an inch away from caressing Rook's cheek, hand going, lower, lower, until it comes to rest just below where Lucanis can't see under the table. Lucanis lets out a disgruntled cough, clearing his throat then scoots his crate back from table.

Spite's eyes snap up at him, and it lets out a laugh the look of hunger fading into a feline grin.

Leave us. Do. Not. Touch her.

You can't make me.

If you're going to stay, be quiet and behave.

Spite lets out a whine and glares back at him but obeys hands up in surrender as those glowing eyes ablaze. Some days Lucanis could push him out if he really tried. It would take all his strength and then some but each day was different. Recently the active days seemed to be outweighing the quiet ones. It had taken him years to train his mind against the demon, to build up walls and keep the doors locked. But no matter how badly Lucanis wanted him gone he would always let Spite back in.

There was no one without the other, they depended on each-other for survival. He had wasted almost his entire life trying to find a cure for this curse placed upon him and had come to accept the grim fact that if he wanted to live, Spite would be along for the ride.

Fine, fine. She's all yours. I won't touch her...unless she asks us to.

Lucanis stands to his full height kicking back the crate, he moves through the shadow demon purposefully causing the the smoke to separate. As Spite's form reconstructs itself it watches him as he places two china cups onto the table, both different sizes and designs. Rook lets out a small yawn as she waits, utterly unaware of the domestic currently playing out between the demon and the man as she watches Lucanis. There's a clattering of boxes being moved and rearranged then he lights a flame under what appears to be some sort of homemade stove. After a few minutes he returns with a steaming pot and the smell of coffee fills the small room.

Rook holds out her cup for him as he pours out the dark brown liquid until it reaches the top then fills his own. Now that he's closer she can see the black power under his nails, a cluster of tiny white scars standing out in contrast against his tan skin. She wants to ask about the experiment he was doing when she had interrupted him earlier or pry more about her magic but it's late and she's exhausted. Shes beginning to ajust to the dim candle light, the subtle warmth the flames gave off as the occasional gust of cold air moved past her and the presence of the man sitting opposite her.

Sure, it was a bit awkward and she wasn't sure if he was utterly repulsed by her or just had invited her out of civility but Rook had been searching for a distraction from her restless sleep and she had found one. They didn't need to speak, to fill the silence, just being in each others presence was enough. Maybe it was the adrenaline wearing off that had made her feelings intangible but could swear she felt a strange sort of comfort when she was with him.

Instead of voicing the million questions she yearned to have answered Rook leans back in her seat against the worn velvet and lets the cup warm her hands as raises the it in a thanks then takes a sip. It's bitter and warm, not hot enough to burn but the taste leaves an unwelcome flavour on her tongue. The disgusted expression on her face forms because she can stop it. Lucanis is waiting for her reaction.

"What? No milk or sugar?" Rook's voice sounds strained as she gulps down the liquid mid sentence forcing herself to take another sip.

She'd had coffee before, at the training camp it was valued as much as gold. But that had been a watered down version, reheated and shared between large groups, whatever Lucanis had was strong and fresh. Perhaps this was another thing she'd have to adjust to.

The corner of Lucanis's mouth raises, those full lips forming an almost smile as he watches her drink before trying his own.

"I like it black." He states before refilling his cup.

Rook hides another nervous laugh and gives him in a look that says of course you do. She would not make a very good spy he thinks.

She coughs as she reaches the bottom of the cup wiping a hand over her mouth before placing it down and pushing it slightly away from her. A fake smile of gratitude plastered across her face.

"Thanks for the coffee, and the company."

Lucanis's doesn’t seem to register the comment, his gaze entirely focused on the spot just behind where she sits, eyes occasionally flicking to check that she hadn't moved then back again to not so empty space. The humming song starts again.

There an obviously tension between Rook and Lucanis but neither of them quite wants the moment to end. Lucanis had never been very good at making friends, hell, he struggled enough as it was to keep loose acquaintances. But since he would be staying here for the foreseeable future he might as well try to be civil with her. He couldn't leave now, not when he was so close to finding a cure, not when he and his cousin had a chance at freedom, not when this girl was before him could be the key to everything. Regardless of his intentions Rook had played a part in his rescue and he would be indebted to her until the contract was completed.

I think she's starting you like you. Thats a first, should we tell her what we really are?

I thought you were staying quiet.

How can I when I can hear all your thoughts. I wonder what she would say if you told her what you want to do to her-

Spite seems to forget what it was saying as the creature stops mid taunt, turning in a circle sniffing the air its hollow eyes turn from Lucanis to Rook and back again.

Oh, this is going to be fun.

Lucanis's temple is throbbing as he rubs the palm of his hand against it trying to mask the feeling with more questions. If he could keep her talking for long enough maybe he could gain back enough control for Spite to leave them.

"When you have these nightmares, what do you see. Tell me about them."

Straight to the point then. Rook thinks, it would be easy for her to lie about it but she has nothing to lose.

"You want me to help you or not?" Lucanis barks out when Rook doesn't immediately answer. He doesn't mean for his tone to come out like that, cruel and disingenuous. Every step he makes towards Rook feels like another two back into the dark.

"Sorry-" She starts only to be cut off by his raised hand.

"Stop apologising." He shuts her down. "Just start from the beginning, anything you can remember might help us to better understand your...situation. When did they start."

She should be sorry, she was a Mage who had killed tens, if not hundreds of innocent people. Even if she had been following orders, even if it had been an accident, she had killed, no man would ever mourn one less Mage in the world.

You have more blood on your hands than she does.

I take no pleasure in killing, unlike you.

It’s impolite to lie Lucanis. I know you get off on it as much as I do. Oh look you've made her cry…

Spites observation panics him for a moment but when he looks at her there's no tears present. The only evidence of sadness is a fait sheen to her pale eyes, that haunted look he had seen before in the mirror on his own face. Greif.

As Rook recalls her nightmares and the memories that interlinked them she wished, not for the first time that they had left her to die in that rubble. How was it fair that the gods got to pick and choose who gets the power of creation, of life and who gets that of death and destruction. How she longed to be able to bring her friends back from the dead, reach down upon the earth and feel the roots grow.

"I think they must have started when I was a child but I could never remember anything, only waking up to find myself screaming. The night after the first time my magic manifested there was a thunderstorm, I started dreaming about this woman, I can't recall her face but it was like she was glowing in green flame."

Lucanis's focus is wavering as he tries to hang onto each of her words, something about green flames, a wolf, the sound of thunder, demons and the veil. His time is running out. The pain was behind his eyes now, vision blurring as he blinked over and over trying to shut it out.

"Lucanis." Rooks voice brings him back for a moment. "Are you alright?"

Smells like blood.

Get out of my head.

Can't you smell it? Let us taste her, just this once.

I said, GET OUT.

But Spite was right. The metallic tang in the air was undeniable, he could smell it. A shudder of dread snapped him back into reality. He was looking at her how, really looking. Had Rook always looked this pale? Her eyes were hollow, sunken in slightly and ringed with grey. Her lips parted as she paused mid sentence.

"You are bleeding." Lucanis's voice startles her as she has a moment of confusion before the realisation sets in.

She shifts the seat back a few inches looking down at herself before placing her hand to where the black shirt was sticking to her side. When she brings it away her palm is covered with a fresh coating of blood. Her mouth forms a silent 'oh' as she places her hand back against the wet shirt and holds it in place.

Before Lucanis can stop her she stands up swaying slightly using her free hand to steady herself against the table as he rushes to her side, the crate he was sat on lets out a screech against the stone as he flys across the room towards her.

Told you I smelled blood.

"LEAVE US." He doesn't mean for those words to be voiced aloud. Lucanis's voice comes out through gritted teeth, if Rook notices him speaking to the air she doesn't react - too focused on trying not to pass out.

It's not the blood that makes Lucanis feel like he's going to throw up but what comes after. This is how Spite feeds, the demon can't touch her in its usual state but pain, death and bloodshed calls to it the way a holy man might call upon the gods. When in battle the bond between Spite and Lucanis is forged from violence, all it takes is for the first kill to commence and then two become one. Most days the demon can do little more than cause him headaches with taunts and mind games but in battle Spite can take over fully possessing him and using Lucanis's body as a vessel for violence.

He wasn't sure if Rook's injuries would be enough to let Spite in all the way there was no rule book for this kind of thing but he didn't dare send her away. Not when she was in so much pain, not when seeing her in pain caused him so much.

With one arm under hers and the one carefully hooked around her waist so not to touch the wound he guides her to the table and holds up her weight against his own until her legs secure against it, the table is low enough that when he pushes her back slightly she's able to sit on it without much strain.

"Keep pressure on the wound." He leaves her for just a moment hurrying across the room and pouring out something that look like water onto his hands then wiping them clean on his sheets.

Lucanis was not healer but had learnt survival young and patched himself up after many a battle. He had been nine the first time he'd had to fix a dislocated bone, thirteen when he learnt how to stitch his own wounds.

Rook winces as she feels the throbbing pain grow, her skin heating as sweat begins to coat her skin. She has no idea how long it’s been bleeding or when the stitches had ripped. It was as if until she saw the blood there had been no pain and now it felt like she had an arrow in her side all over again.

When Lucanis returns he's holding a pile of clean cloth and a bottle of clear liquid. "I'll need to redress the wound and clean it."

Rook continues to look down at her side fingers now slick with her own blood she acknowledges him with a faint noise that he can’t make out.

"I need you to look at me. I don't think Varric will forgive me if I let you bleed out on my table." That earns a pained laugh. "This is going hurt." He adds.

"Okay." She nods again this time meeting his eye as Lucanis hand holds her chin to look at him. Defiance lives in her eyes but she agrees to let him help her, this is a woman who does not want to be pitied or saved. He knows exactly how that feels.

Lucanis lets her go and pushes his sleeves up further until the material can't go any higher up his biceps. With little effort he rips the cloth into strips and places it onto the table beside her along with the bottle. Slowly, cautiously, he stands infront of her assessing the situation. Rook moves her body slightly so that she's turned half to the side giving him better actress to her and her hand beings to pull up the bottom of her shirt.

"Do you want me to stop, it's not too late. I can wake one of the others-"

"No it's fine." Rook cuts him off. "It really doesn't hurt that much." Her face says otherwise.

It would be easier for him to remove her top completely but the thin material leaves little to imagination, it's clear Rook wears nothing underneath. Instead Lucanis pulls a dagger from his belt and cuts away at the ruined fabric leaving only enough to cover her. The bulk of the bandages are almost completely soaked through. As he unbinds them from her ribs and throws them onto a pile on the floor Rook swears when the wound is exposed to the cold air.

We could have her right now, on this table.

"It's not as bad as I thought, but you're to need to sit still for the next part. Drink this." He holds the bottle up to her lips and lifts it so she can drink, one hand underneath to catch anything that spills.

Rook splutters and coughs as it burns the back of her throat but takes a few gulps as Lucanis lets out a loose a breath.

With the old bandages removed and blood wiped clean he can now see only three out of the eight stitches had torn open, and other than the irritated red skin around the wound there’s no sign of infection.

"That was fucking disgusting. Do me a favour and just keep talking. If I don't pass out from this, I might die if you serve me anymore beverages." Rook states, eyes closed as she lets out a low whimper whilst Lucanis begins to wipe away the blood. “And if I die.” As grits her teeth. “I will come back and fucking haunt you.”

Such dirty words for such a pretty mouth.

Don’t look at her.

Imagine the sweet sounds she would make.

"I'm not very good at talking." Lucanis confesses, undeterred by her empty threats.

He doubts very much that she would want to hear about how he'd spent almost his entire childhood being experimented on in a cage by the only maternal figure he'd never known.

"Oh i've noticed." Her eyes are wide and alert now, pupils dilating. "Seriously say anything, sing a song tell me a story, make something up. Tell me about possessed life, I bet he's here isn't he, the demon, is he here? Is he a he?"

Rook might not have been thinking clearly to start but now she’s racking her brain for everything she learnt about this man so far. Not only was she about to let an almost stranger - at best coworker, operate on her in a storage cupboard she was about to let a man possessed by a demon to do it. Other than overhearing Neve refer to the demon as 'Spite' once she had no idea if that was its name or what it even was.

Did demons even have pronouns?

"It's here, it likes the blood." If Lucanis was trying to comfort her he was failing miserably.

From the corner of his eye Lucanis can see spite crouching beneath the table, its slightly see through finger poking at the small pool of blood on the ground. Despite the finger going through the blood and stone floor Spite puts it into its mouth and pretends to lick the finger clean.

Delicious.

"Great, well there's plenty of that here. Sounds like a charming guy." Rook lets her head fall back and stares up at the ceiling as she waits for Lucanis to fishing threading the needle.

Lucanis bites down on his bottom lip as he finishes threading the needle then sterilises the wound with what smells like alcohol. He dabs at the blood with no warning and she clutches back as it stings sending shivers down her spine that make her want to kick him.

"What does it feel like?" She asks the corners of her eyes glistening but again, no tears fall.

"At first I thought my soul had been split in half. But now, it’s more like having two sets of hands instead of one, eyes in the back of my head. The power is…unimaginable."

He pulls her skin together holding the flesh with a forefinger and thumb as the needle pushes through for the first stitch. Over rooks deep breathing he swears the faint sound of thunder booms overhead.

"I have heard sories of demons that can possess men. The Grey Wardens knew a lot about dark magic. How did you come to be this way? I mean what happened to you. You weren't born like this, were you?" Rook seems to be sitting straighter now, the tonic kicking in and numbing some of the pain.

"That-Is none of your concern."

"Does it hurt?" Rook knows she should probably change subjects from the strain in his voice but when she looks up at him the answer is written all over his face.

"Yes and no." The look of agony is gone in seconds and he's back to concentrating on her wound.

His hair despite being tied back falls over his shoulder as is long enough that she feels it brush against her bare skin. She can feel his warm breath against her torso and the occasional faint tickle of his beard as he gets too close.

"Does it hurt right now?" Rook wonders looking around the room as if she would find a demon spawn hiding in the shadows, but she sees nothing.

"You don't have to worry about me. You are the one bleeding."

The second stitch is though.

"I'm bleeding all over your bedroom and you won't even tell me how you got possessed by a creepy demon, wow." Rook tries to make an exaggerated gasping sound but it's cut short as the third stitch goes though and the wind is knocked out of her. "Fucking ouch."

"You are very dramatic." He was glad she couldn't see his faint smile as he continued to work.

This was good, if she’s was coherent enough to make jokes and swear at him hopefully she wouldn’t pass out anytime soon. Lucanis makes a mental note that Rook often uses humour as cover when she's hurt.

The pain has faded to a dull ache now, Rooks body already starting to feel a bit stronger with each passing moment but her mind is still hazy. She’s trying to stay awake but all she can think about was how wants him to never stop talking. Each word keeps her tethered to this plane. That accent, she could listen to it forever.

“We are almost done.” Lucanis moves closer to her - his large body is almost completely covering hers as he leans so that he can tie the bandages around her back. He stops half way realising he can't quite reach it without the possibility of hurting her. Rook feels his hand lightly touching her shoulder indicating which way she needs to move as she swings her legs back round to give him better access.

Now Rook sits on the other side as he leans over, legs hanging over the table, back facing him. He doesn't mean to stare when he looks down at her exposed back but there's no helping it as his eyes travel from the bottom of her spine to the top of her half ripped shirt and the array of scars that covered almost every inch of skin in between. Some more faded than others, the freshest couldn't have been more than a year old. Each one thin and precise line, this had been no accident, she had either been forced to take a beating or let someone do this to her.

"Arms up." He instructs as she strains lift them with little protest but manages to keep them held in place long enough for him to loop the cloth around.

He begins to tie the fresh bandages around her, one hand laying flat across her ribs to keep them in place. The rough contrast of the tips his fingers brush against the exposed skin above her bandages. Once he's sure the bandages are tight enough he feels himself moving without thinking. Rook doesn't react as a finger traced the outline of a particularly deep bit of scar tissue that falls almost directly in the centre of her spine.

He had seen this kind of torture before, often inflicted on disobedient soldiers or deserters. It was possible to get rid of most scars and wounds with certain kinds of magic, for cosmic or personal reasons he had seen it done more than once. But some were not as easy to remove as others and perhaps she had chosen to keep them as a reminder for what had been done to her. He shouldn’t care, it was none of his business.

He could feel the demonic energy that ran in his veins drumming under his skin as he flexed his hand by his side. He was only human-ish after all.

Who did this to you? He wondered. I will make them beg for my blade. He should have no right to care. He had done that and worse to his own enemies, what made seeing it on her so different? Spite who had had been suspiciously dormant the entire time Rook had her wounds tended to was now flicking in and out of existence behind her. The demon Rook from its crouch by her side and for once the demon had nothing to say.

They were both thinking the same thing.

"These are not from battle." Lucanis states as he pulls the cut up edge of the shirt back down to cover what he can see of her side.

"No, they are not." Rook answers as she moves off the table to stand. Her cheeks have more colour to them now he notices as she refuses his help when she steadies herself. "Thank you, I think i've ruined your night enough. I should get going now."

Lucanis accepts her thanks with a nod not sure what to do now. He wants to ask her to stay. Only so he can keep an eye on her incase the wound gets worse of course. He couldn't exactly offer up his bed, a girl like her deserved to sleep on beds of silks and feathered mattresses.

In his first week at the Lighthouse he had been given a large room in the north wing with a plush four poster bed and a dozen pillows. It had felt like he was suffocating in the comfort of that bed, he had tried removing all the bedding on the second night. Placing the mattress on the floor on the third then welcoming the cool stone against his bare back on the fourth. None of it had worked. He felt like a dog without the comfort of its cage. It had been years since he'd slept on anything more comfortable than a couple of crates pushed together with a blanket over the top. Not that he slept much as it was.

As Lucanis begins to put away his things he can feel eyes on him as Rook stands as if she's waiting for him to say something. "Right, of course." Lucanis clears his throat then grabs something off his bed and passes it to her. "Get some rest if you can, i'm no healer so you should probably get somebody to look at that in the morning if you can."

Rook takes the shirt from him and begins to pull her old ruined one over her head with one hand as Lucanis turns to give her some privacy. He can feel his blood heating as the awareness that she’s half naked in his room sinks in. She places the discarded top on the pile of bloody cloth and bandages and cringes as she takes in the mess around the room. Dried blood on the floor, glass on the table, the door hanging on its hingers. After today she didn't think she would ever be able to face him again.

His cream collared shirt reaches her mid thigh, the size of it looking ridiculous on her. She was shorter than the average elf and even though Lucanis was tall for a human he only had a few inches on her but his build had made the shirt seem least thrice her normal size. When she finishes dressing Lucanis is still facing away from her - arms resting against the table as he tried not to think about what Rook might look like in his shirt. He can hear Spites perverted thoughts begin to pile up in his mind making him want to flip the table and its contents scores the room. Instead he re arranging his work and places the books back onto the table as he finishes cleaning off any trace of blood, any trace of her.

"Goodnight, Rook." Lucanis mumbles.

The way he says it sounds like goodbye. So this was it then.

"Goodnight."

Rook waits a few more seconds to see if he will turn back and then, she’s gone.

end chapter notes -

everyday i learn something new about his family and backstory (thanks twitter)

this chapter was only meant to be 3k long but i ended up writing about 6k and cutting it down a bit, their dynamic is so fun to write. anyone has information, head canons or theories about him pls share id love to hear them!

do we hate grandma or not? (i think we do)

as always @/saintscain on twitter, hope you enjoyed